#im breaking up with you boundary

[parkinglothater]

i feel like ive hit a mjor reset button my life and its literally tearing me apart

[dukeofthomas]

I need people to realize how horrible 'stalking/constant surveillance/breaking into each other's homes is how the Batfamily show love' is. Like i really need someone to just acknowledge how horrific saying this bullshit is.

Like even fics where they're shown as happy and healthy and with good ties, you've always got this thing where none of them have privacy or any boundaries with each other. Which is directly antithetical to actually having good relationships. And this invasion via hacking and stalking and breaking into homes is portrayed as a positive, good thing; it's just how they show love and care to each other, after all. But for some reason I just personally don't find stalking, lack of privacy or boundaries, and emotional manipulation funny, endearing, or healthy, and just end up disgusted at the attempt to sweep it all under the rug.

[defiledtomb]

you know when you're going through a high stress situation that is prolonged and agonizing but you've put on a brave face and you think you've got this! 💪 and then a week into it you accidentally burn your quinoa and there's smoke and all of a sudden your skin is sloughing off and you feel like alice about to be swept away in a tide of her own tears? mmnnmm yeag.

[pcktknife]

it's not crazy of me to think that paimon n the traveler r absolutely insane for suggesting furina take part in a musical right

[takami-takami]

Rules!

It's time to have a chat! I've posted about this before, but I can tell when requests are just intended to be You and not X Reader.

Ask yourself: "is y/n just Me here?" and "Am I requesting an x reader fic for me AND others to enjoy, or am I using the author for my own self fufillment fantasy?"

And if that's the case, please don't send it. I write x reader, not x You Specifically.

Like there is a world of a difference between an ask like:

"What do you think about [situation]", "here's my ideas on this", "can you write [situation]", "I can totally see him do [situation] like awww", or "omg imagine [situation] i'm simping so hard" (these are all great!)

Versus...

"Me and [character] would absolutely [situation]. I just want him to [situation] with me and I'd be so good to him and he sees that, he loves me. I'd respond this way, because i'm a very [trait] person. This is so me and him, because then I would start doing [situation]. So can you write that?" and then blink at me expecting me to write fanfiction based on that ask. That's not y/n, that's just You, and I'm not writing fanfiction of You Specifically. Also you're not talking with me, you're talking at me.

Y/N is all of us and none of us at the same time. Everyone should be able to enjoy the writing! And going forward it is canon in my fics that Keigo is weirded out by anybody who treats me like a request machine for their personal spank bank (sfw or nsfw) and not a person to bounce fun ideas WITH or request ideas from, if that's any disincentive lmao.

Especially if you're gonna word it in a "chop chop, gimme my personalized content, I don't got all day" way. Be nice.

95% of you are incredible and amazing and wonderful, and I don't like paying attention to the vocal minority, but ya know. It is making me feel a bit Dehumanized and Used here.

(This is not about any specific person, ask, comment, or tag, it's a trend. This post has been sitting in my drafts for a long while, since I started this blog actually. And I have posted about it a few months ago.)

[beilschmidt-honda]

hiii ~ just wanted to let all 17 of my followers (🤯) to know that im likely not going to be active on tumblr much anymore, and probably not ever again in the foreseeable future. SNS like this stresses me out.

but if any of my mutuals have any interest in talking to me or being friends, im still open to that! so please dm me and let me know if you want my discord or LINE or something! ill consistently check my inbox for the next couple of days but if you do send one after that because you wanna chat, then sorry if i dont see it sooner

and if not, then thats okay too! in that case, 👋 goodbye, for now, or maybe forever! i wish the best for you.

[merumis]

i hate this soooo much why do straight ppl have to come into my house and act like i’m a stupid dirty lesbian who will never measure up to them

[firebeetlefables]

a reflection, based on events of some people near and dear to me today, plus some additional notes from life experience.

you owe no one a relationship.

when in doubt, see rule one.

you can break up with anyone for any reason. this can be for easy reasons, such as a build-up of petty things, all the way up to them being abusive.

even if the person is on some sort of identity intersection that makes their life hard, even if they have had copious amounts of trauma, if they are being abusive, you are allowed to break up with them.

you are not obligated to stay and "try to make things work."

you are allowed to run of the mill fall out of love with people too. not every relationship works out, and that's okay. you're not a bad person for falling out of love.

you do not have to date someone for societial expectations either (this bullet point is for you, arospec/acespec people.). It's perfectly valid to not want to date.

you do not have to say "yes" to any relationship you dont want to be in. this also goes for rejecting people. you do not have to say yes out of pity.

a full and enthusiastic consent is required for any relationship.

for any other questions, refer to rule one.

[strifesolution]

mcyt fans who go into fan spaces like fanart comments and fanfics to go “um achtually (CC’s) boundaries say they don’t like this” are the most annoying kind of people.

[britneyshakespeare]

He won't leave my fucking friends alone.

[ablednt]

Being a systeen in an adult system while also being the host is such an experience because like yeah there's the obvious "I have to act the body's age most of the time bc singlets don't know how to interact with systeens" thing but like you'll end up playing therapist for your headmates toxic girlfriends who tell you to call them mom like ok points for accuracy but ma'am I am 15 and I do not want to bear the brunt of your relationship problems. You know this all of our dynamics hinged around the fact a systeen was frontstuck why are you talking shit about me and putting all this pressure on me I am internally a child come on

[cruelsister-moved2]

almost every Gay Debate amounts to like people who’ve experienced extremes on one side unaware of the existence of an equally bad extreme on the other side & therefore unaware that what they actually want is balance and common sense in general rather than a certain Stance to one side or the other but anyway. it is FINE to not want to date someone who isn’t out. it is never okay to expect or demand someone else come out on your behalf, but your partner not being out impacts you as well, and impacts your relationship, and not everyone handles that well and not everyone wants to. as with EVERY other relationship boundary its just a case of drawing a line that looks like “this is not something I want for myself right now so if that’s where you’re at i’m not going to pursue this relationship” rather than an ultimatum that demands the person obliges ur needs

[fappellmoan]

all i wanted to do with the semester ending is relax and not stress or think or worry about anything for a few goddamn days and people have been screaming on and off outside my window all night and im stressed to high hell about my stupid ass housing situation and how badly i dont want to go out of my way to go physically sign a lease by myself which will take two fucking seconds it’s so stupid to not do it online or whatever and that’s If yk cause the guy seems kinda crazy and is making me think of oh yeah the fucking legal situation that ill probably never be fucking free of like what do these old guys get out of intimidating young women i think all landlords should kill themselves esp weird old racist ones and im not gonna be able to relax till it’s just over and that hinges on me either going there or backing out yk. um and anyway. my brain is exploding and im so fucking tired of being stressed abt a million things and im just tired and once i finally get a glimmer of hope of just the tiniest fucking break something else happens like im sorry i cant go on like this life!!!!! u need to give me some more nice stuff too. jesus

[call-me-lemon]

The next time someone goes into my room when im not there and takes my personal rechargable batteries instead of the household rechargable batteries im going to break whatever remote they put them in im not even joking

The energizers are MINE. I bought them for ME. You have your shitty amazon basics batteries because you decided they were good enough, I got better ones because I wanted good batteries. I have exactly four, two in my remote and two IN THE CHARGER. SO I CAN SWITCH THEM OUT WHEN THE ONES IN MY REMOTE DIE. I NEVER. EVER. EVER. WANT TO LOOK AT MY CHARGER TO SWITCH THE BATTERIES OUT ONLY TO FIND THEM MISSING AGAIN.

Not for you. NEVER for you. Those ones are MINE. If you want energizers you should have fucking bought energizers you fucking cunts AND STOP GOING INTO MY ROOM WHEN IM NOT THERE.

[associatedwithpumpkin]

I’m proud of myself for standing up to the biggest narcissist, I’ve ever known. I’m Proud For Finally Setting a boundary I have never been able to and creating distance from somebody, I thought I couldn’t. It’s a Certainly kinda starting to feel like it was Stockholm syndrome. Love is not enough to keep someone around. Here’s a breaking repeated patterns… Cheers 🥂

Dear Mom,

I need to set some very clear boundaries regarding our relationship, especially concerning how you speak about my partner. Despite my multiple warnings, you continue to talk negatively about him and try to influence me against him. I want you to understand that he is the best person I’ve ever been with—someone who brings out the best in me that nobody else ever has.

I see parts of you in me, especially when it comes to our struggles. The key difference is that I have been committed to therapy and medication since I was nine years old, and now, at almost 30, I’m still working on myself. You, on the other hand, have never sought therapy and have only taken a fraction of what I have in terms of medication.

I want to be honest: marijuana is not helping you. It exacerbates your BPD, enhancing your worst qualities. There are actual studies that indicate not all medication works for everyone, including marijuana. For the past four months, I haven’t even touched it myself.

Michael is not taking advantage of me; he has not pushed himself into my life or my home. He moved in because we both wanted to share our lives together—something I approached responsibly for the first time. He is a responsible, mature person who supports me, allowing me to feel capable. It’s disappointing that you view me as incapable and irresponsible, while I know my worth and what I bring to the table.

You need to address your erratic moods with medication, just as I do. I suggest therapy not because I think you’re “crazy,” but because I believe it could help you develop social skills, like how to communicate without resorting to name-calling or cursing, which only escalates tensions and doesn’t solve problems.

I’m trying to build my own life and family because I realize I’ve never had the support I needed from the family I was born into. I’ve worked hard to reach this point, and I had hoped to reconnect with you and my family in North Dakota. However, I now see that if I never felt like I belonged, then I won’t find that connection now.

I’m genuinely happy and at peace, doing things I never had the chance to do before, thanks to the positive support from Michael. Building a life requires a support system that believes in you, something I feel is missing from our relationship. A lesson I’ve learned in therapy is that conflict resolution starts with understanding each other’s perspectives, not trying to place blame or prove who is right or wrong.

This difference between us—my commitment to mental health and your refusal to seek help—has led me to back away. I need to distance myself from you, not out of desire, but out of necessity. I’m going to continue living my happy life with Michael, and I’m sad you haven’t taken the opportunity to get to know him. He truly respects me and supports my happiness.

I cannot tolerate being treated like a child or being made to feel inadequate any longer. I’m aware that you see the boys as adults because of their progress, but your perception of me feels stuck, overshadowed by how you view my life through a screen. It’s painful, and I hope you realize your role in that.

I love you, but I can’t allow you to undermine the happiness I’ve found—a happiness that has helped me grow and love myself for the first time. Your words have often made me feel stupid and inadequate, and that’s something I can no longer accept.

I expect that my message will be met with defensiveness, but I need you to take accountability. You’ve chosen not to seek help, while I’m striving to be better every day. Your journey is yours, but I need to focus on mine now. I won’t respond to your messages or phone calls, and I’m stepping back from social media. I’m choosing emotional intelligence for the sake of my peace.

What I want from you is love, and it shouldn’t come with a price tag. I doubt I’ll receive that, but I will still wish you well. Merry Christmas, happy New Year, happy birthday, and all the holidays I’ll miss. This isn’t a choice I wanted to make, but it’s one I need to.

Goodbye, Mom. ✌🏻

[meejijis]

ppl who goes against their "dni" and break their own rules by either invading other people's spaces or hate stalking the ppl they hate (which the said person they hate is literally everything they described in their dni list) will always make me so annoyed