#im becoming ambitious
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Everyone meet Wilfred.
Wilfred used to have a witches hat with the four hogwarts house colours on it.
Now Wilfred has evolved to wear ferrari merch and hold Anakin's lightsaber.
He means the world to me even if he took several hours away from my life.
Everyone give Wilfred some love because he deserves it. Look at that adorable snake face
#profile picture#i actually drew something#and it didnt self implode#i did art#you have no clue how much of an achievement this is#if youve seen the seagull you know#Wilfred#Live Laugh Love Wilfred the Snake#Wilfred the Snake#Wilfred the snake who is ezras profile picture#what should he wear next time#i might edit him sometimes#ooo cutesy#it will be like a yearly thing or smth#im becoming ambitious#but yeah#enjoy having Wilfred#hes such a big ferrari fan#even tho the ferrari logo in his universe is a snake#i would rather die than attempt to draw that horse#and hes in love with anakin skywalker#who wouldnt be#hes one of us fr#f1#formula 1#formula one#ferrari#ferrari fan#star wars#anakin skywalker
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obsessed with liah and alek's dynamic btw......
#oc: liah#thinking abt them on this fine monday evening. also im back home from hospital again yay#anyway revan & alek/malak's relationship... it's something i need to study under a microscope#to me liah and alek r like theeee toxic worsties... always trying to one up each other... but also idk like#they make a perfect team they know each other so well. they hate each other they dont trust each other at all#no one understands them the way they understand each other!!!!#like they used to be actually genuinely good & supportive friends right?????? but there was always a teeny bit of rivalry#they were both so ambitious. and proud. and then the uhhh mandalorian wars began and so did their descent to the dark side...#and at first it's like... they're still besties... but gradually their relationship becomes a power struggle...#like the tension that always was there but only surfaced as playful banter or during sparring becomes full-blown hatred. and its nastyyy#and like on the surface they keep things professional and cooperative. however all the warmth of their friendship is gone#and beneath the surface they're like playing 5D chess#malak plotting his betrayal... liah trying to stay one step ahead and ensure that malak stays as number two...#and like??? maybe alek always knew he was second to liah... but back then he was ok with it...#but then the dark side took this feeling of inferiority and turned it into spiteful jealousy...#and maybe liah always knew she was the stronger jedi... and the dark side fed her pride and she grew obsessed with keeping it this way...#i still havent finished kotor btw. so this is all based on the vibes i've gathered so far... with my own embellishments.. etc#also the other day i learned that alek/malak is canonically 2 meters tall#and i lowkey wanna make liah shorter. to make the difference bigger#short queen and her tall sidekick (reluctant)... a fun juxtaposition...#but also i like 178 cm liah. hm#maybe if i make her like 173. still tallish but also noticeably shorter than the 2 meter guy standing menacingly behind her#anyway i need to listen to absolution again. u dont understand. it's The revan/malak/kotor album!!!!#i associate it with revan and kotor so strongly i can't think abt them without one of the songs starting to play in my head!!!!
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(insert time related joke here)
my attack for @atticustimestwo's oc, mr. sinister ! boy was this one fun to do
#was just itching to post this right after i finished cause this might be the most ambitious attack ive done and im proud#i like this guy. the smilerrrrrrrrr and i like the concept of an entity jumping around peoples bodies and becoming a slasher#its like a little parasite YEAHHHHHHHHH#also if you see any mistakes shhhhhhh shhhhhhhh shhhhh#shout out matt my bro for helping with the background colors otherwise i wouldve made it eyestrained to shit#artfight
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Take some Fydd's I just realized I never posted
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#eternal gales#fydd is such a comfort character to me rn its not even funny I adore this lil lad#hes been helping keep me sane#Ive also been keeping sane by brainstoriming more abt how I wanna make eternal gales someday which is also helping#and lemme say its getting real ambitious folks this bad boy isnt getting made for a While lol#the more Ive been thinking abt eternal gales and how I want it to be formatted the more certain I become that while its not going to be a#game Im probably going to be making it within a game maker engine#like Ill still look into how feasible making it all into a website would be but I think for what I want to make this would work best#which is! very ambitious and is definitely not smth I can manage rn! but I have been wanting to re learn to code anyways so!#its mostly just a matter of like. doing some smaller projects first and getting my shit together#ideally I want to be able to be in a place to get started in about 5 years maybe? idk that feels reasonable to me#but Im fine if it takes longer as long as Ive gotten at least some actual real project started and worked on#Ive been playing around with the idea of maybe trying my hand at making a small game for fun#not right this second but maybe soon? idk depends on a bunch of shit#honestly eternal gales has dragged me through so much whenever I feel hopeless I just have to remember that I Need to make it some day and#imagine ppl asking me questions abt it and analyzing my writing and I go ok so I must persist no matter what I need ppl to read abt them
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this is from one of my p4 aus that requires too much explaining. all you need to know for now is that it takes place a few years after p4 and that Yosuke and Kanji's shadows are in cahoots
#yosukan#kanji tatsumi#yosuke hanamura#shadow kanji#shadow yosuke#persona 4#kanji x yosuke#yosuke x kanji#yoskan#kansuke#yokan#kanyo#I've got so much unposted art of them. but i have like. multiple aus that require so much explaining.#this au used to be very different but ive reworked it to be less centered on these 2#all of my ysk aus eventually expand and become too ambitious because i want to include everyone. lmao#tedart#tedpost#this one is actually an accomplice au believe it or not!#feel free to ask me more abt it. im planning on writing a fic for this one. after i finish my debut fic#kanji's shadow is based off of frankenstein's bride#and yosuke's shadow is the prince of neets
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happy Final Week of Mermay!!!! here’s Giselle, a Shipsnarer Mer based on the Sea Angel!
Shipsnarers: Mers who can shapeshift to additional forms beyond human/mer, often with 3-5 monstrous forms they can take. Transformation is arduous for this group, but they can shapeshift to look like various sea monsters, often gaining or losing large amounts of body mass between shifts. Cast-off parts from shifts often turn up as blobsters. Their sea monster forms are more akin to mimicry than 1:1 replicas (think leafy sea dragons or mimic octopus). Their baseline mer forms can resemble any sea creature you could think of, rarely resembling a fish the way most mers do (e.g. cnidarians, siphonophores, polychaete worms) and those shipsnarers who do resemble fish often are most alike to atypical fishes such as seahorses, barreleye fish, frogfish, etc.. An extremely rare and solitary type of open-ocean mercreature.
#mermay#mermay 2024#mermay challenge#mercreatures#mermaid#mermaids#merfolk#sea angel#clione#new age#shipsnarers#character design#original character#dream blue#redesign#my art#DONE W/ THIS HALF OF THE SERIESSSSSSSSSSSS#this was Originally gonna be 14 characters w/ 2 pieces of art each but that was Too Ambitious to complete in a month#so Next Year im gonna be workin on The Other Half#im soooooooooooooooo so happy w/ how their mer form turned out i love cliones#&theyve become Fairly Mainstream so theres a Good Amt of clione mers ive Seen before online#but none of them have rly Captured them the way i imagined it myself so Here They Are#also getting to show off my mer bone anatomy [or @ least 1 variation of it]
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the problem is that i have the temperament of a caged animal, but i also have no end goal lol haha isnt that funny. everyone start pointing and laughing already
#i used to be ambitious because i could see myself becoming someone.#im only 20 going on 21 but it feels like i died when i turned 17... i lost everything i used to run towards#and i don't know what to do with myself in the grand scheme of things which is why everything feels pointless in general#but also. if i don't force myself to get up and go through the motions#if i dont even try to push myself past my comfort zone in dose amounts#how will i ever figure out where to go.#it all feels meaningless on a day to day level because i have no goals or ambitions in terms of my entire existence but if i don't DO#anything Now how will i even figure out where to go? what to run towards again?#so i keep going. and it's so exhausting but i keep on fucking going#i hate the part of myself that's so desperate to be seen. why am i so desperate for recognition#it doesnt MEAN anything so many people get recognized and still feel alone and empty#a small tiny example of that: when i won second in a spanish literature competition this February#my prof and head of the department congratulated me and told me they thought i did really well...#my prof even told me she thought i should pursue literature#and i was immensely flattered but it felt fake.#it all felt like lies#i couldn't couldn't feel happy because i was so stuck feeling like an incoherent pile of experiences and emotions#rather than a Person#and because of that i couldn't believe anything nice or real that anyone that was telling me#i don't know what i need anymore. to disappear honestly. i don't think i was meant to be a person#z.post
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putting a man in my screenwriting tv show concept with shaking hands knowing the fandom would completely disregard the sapphic main characters for him
#teeth gritted rn giving him the worst most normal average joe name. bc i want no one to care about him#ive learned my lesson being a tma fan#fandom would rather sympathize w a shitty man than have basic empathy or understanding or respect for a woman#im adding a shitty boyfriend to the story bc it needs outside conflict. so robin has a lowkey misogynistic bf lol#hes the type of guy who seems normal until you express any sort of interest in traditionally feminine interests#and then he turns into a filmbro whos going to explain the concept of cinematography to you#but if you get to ambitious and start to be more successful than him he starts bitching about chores and how you dont love him bc you-#were to busy with work to cook dinner for him#its not perfect on robins side ofc. shes becoming intertwined w this woman at work even if it seems antagonistic and shes starting to-#-ignore him in favour of aria who is giving her the excitement and mutual respect that her shitty bf has never given her#aria may think she is the most evil disgusting horrible woman on earth but she doesnt condescend or think robin is incapable#robin is in fact so capable she is singlehandedly ruining aria's life lol#anyways thats my oc rambles <3
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that moment when it's chreon week and you have nothing prepared 🥲🥲🥲🥲
#i need to write my BOYS#(im always writing my boys who am i kidding)#my oneshots always get too ambitious and then they become multichapter fics#oops
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ok now I am starting to think I might be bipolar for real bc i think maybe suddenly im not depressed anymore and now im spending hundreds of dollars and planning out how im gonna post three videos and stream twice every week and im gonna go to big lots after work and look at recliners bc I think I want a recliner for my new apartment or is this how normal people act? Literally I have no idea.
#like to be fair im moving but a week ago i had no energy for any of it and now im buying new furniture and selling#or giving away some of my old stuff and just a lot of planning and stressing and packing#but also becoming v ambitious about my sims channel
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And to add to the fact that Elrond also suffered and is a victim of the generational trauma that his entire lineage/ancestors caused. His parents sacrificed themselves and died in his early years, then his foster parents suffered from the fate of the silmarils, his wife was forever emotionally scarred from the war that she had to leave middle earth- leave him and their children etc. What I love about him is he could’ve been anything; he knows the status that he held just by being a descendant of the most powerful elven kings. But Elrond was different, he learned from his ancestors mistakes - by choosing to be Kind. He is the descendant of all those legendary war heroes that were undone by the war; by general storytelling standards, Elrond’s character trope is to be the descendant who will avenge his ancestors - “seek revenge cliche”.
But NO. Tolkien wrote him to be a Healer, because Elrond chose to be compassionate. Elrond became a healer, because he has known loss and chooses to cherish deeply all the people he is with. Elrond chose
to be the healer of his lineage and mend the wounds that his ancestors caused in middle earth (literally and figuratively).
And I love Tolkien for that- for giving us Elrond, as kind as summer. Like OP said “He’s his ancestors but actually successful.”
crazy that elrond is just walking around in his garden with his hobbit friend reading books and eating dinner or something and then you remember he's. the great grandson of THEEE LUTHIEN. the luthien of legend!!! and then the great grandson of TURGON! literal KING OF GONDOLIN. and then you calm down a bit and then immediately stop again because now you've remembered that if we go back another generation we've reached THINGOL and FINGOLFIN – the merging of elwë and finwë's folk. you know, the OGs?? he could (theoretically) be king of both the sindar (and all the teleri tbh) and the noldor......... that's like 2/3 of the big three groups of elves? he's one of the only living descendants of the high kings of the past, and not in a ridiculously distant way like aragorn is. he... he could be the king of the whole world honestly. and he isn't. he doesn't want to be.......he wants to be the lord of a haven where people can rest and heal and grow and learn and talk and love.......he chooses peace and serenity and safety over glory. he's his ancestors but actually successful. he's the sun. he's beautiful. he's as strong as a warrior. he's as wise as a wizard. he's as kind as summer. he's the bestest boy in the whole world. I'm eating my hat
#And Elrond wasnt even mad at his ancestors#He knows that they’re all deeply tired and scarred by the war#so he decides to mend those wounds and becoming the chill Elven lord that he is#creating Rivendell as a safe haven for all and became the best healers in middle earth#Thats why Im so confused with the new ROP series showing elrond being political#and ambitious they said? like gurl. He didnt need to climb any corporate ladder he was royalty since birth#but Elrond didnt choose glory he chose LOVE#the series needs to get that
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man ive just nawt been having a good time with art recently ill be real i think im so cooked for uni next month if i cant get a grip soon
#im enjoying doing little flippant sketches ig butwhever i have to knuckle down and render or do something technical my brain is full of lead#i think im just becoming increasingly aware of my lack of technical skill and its affectign my drawings more#my comps arent as ambitious. my anatomy is off. i dont render details as well. all fixable things but they require time#which is really bad timing to return to the final sem of an art degree lol#girl. my dissertation............#anway. the horrors consume but we must keep going peace and love we will push through ect ect
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sorry i haven’t been online i’ve been hyperfixating on bolstering my dynasty in ck3
#on my fourth high king of ireland!! had a rough start since the vassals were all like you need a regent ☝️🤓 since your family has been rulin#g for so long#and i was like ugh fine for like a year and then i deposed my regent after she made me the scapegoat of making the crown a higher authority#(which she wanted me to do but i did it since i revealed that she was the one who forced 😋 my hand)#and then i had to wrangle the faction that came about after we lifted the crown authority and i tried to murder the earl who started it but#then i tinkered with my perks and did a feast with him as the honorary guest and made me him love me 😁#and then all was right#but now i have to figure out my succession since my wife decided to only birth sons (we have like five)#tried to get my second eldest to take his vows (become apart of the clergy) but he was like lol no i’m too ambitious for that pops#actually my third eldest since my second eldest did take his vows but now he’s my archbishop!!! so i’m like you still have lots of power if#u want dude!!! but now i’m going to have my two youngest take their vows (hopefully) but if not my heir might have to do some fratricide or#the like 😞#i at first wanted to set out on forming the empire of brittania but we’ve gotten super rich and famous just as the kingdom of ireland#also every monarch of england is super vulnerable (i would know considering i’ve killed six of them in murder schemes including one who was#my lover 🙄 sorry sybilla i just thought you were not cool for flipping me off after i won our game of chess just like super uncool you know#but if anything happens i will set my sites on the kingdom of alba since the king i was friends with just died but alba is almost as chaotic#as england like i married off one of my daughters to the king but then he got deposed in a liberation war (which he asked me to join him in#i did but i didn’t do anything to help since i hate raising my military since it takes such a big toll on my economy)#and i bought my daughter and her husband back to my court in ireland and the new king of england started bitching at me because he knew i#had him in my court and i was like well damn that sucks for you but im not letting this dude go if i know i have this boon on you 😁#(boon being his claim to the kingdom of england and all those duchies etc)#anyway i love political intrigue and making money it’s fun#dianna.moon
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Been playing around with the idea of figuring out how to make a simple social game, like Potion Craft?
in that genre where you're just a lil shop keeper or whatever and you make decisions and there's no real goal but it's a cozy little game
#im not actually sure what the genre is called but i do have a pretty solid idea of the concept i would wanna pursue#and a tentative title even if that might be kind of ambitious since i havent even started anything yet#still become the change you wnana see etc etc and i wanna see more cozy shop games
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Thinking abt the random card au again. Why must it go so crazy hard I miss it sm
#rat rambles#random card au#no matter how far I drift from my bndori and sekai peak days the random card au keeps hitting me like a truck every now and then#it just scratches an itch that I havent been able to satisfy since my cr days years and years ago#I wouldnt say the random card au has super similar worldbuilding to my old cr stuff as that was much more large scale#but it still has a similar appeal to me I think#I think its the building entirely new worldbuilding based off of designs and general vague starting concepts and bringing them all together#that gets me invested as it feels so satisfying slotting it all together and then actually getting to play out the story in this new web#I loveeeee jumbled webs of worldbuilding and characters that all tie together in a way that makes it almost impossible to completely#seperate one cast of characters from another#I love the feeling of a world with a bunch of intertwining plots like that even if it makes it near impossible to format a normal story#like my cr stuff was just so much man I still miss it sometimes even if I hate cr itself#Ive become a much better story creator too now so I know I could make what I had so much better nowadays and I already like my old stuff#it just makes me all the more sad that I went so crazy hard on worldbuilding for a franchise that sucks ass </3#it may have been two of the worst years of my life but Ill also never reach that worldbuilding high again I think#oh also it made me actually start the slow slow process of getting more ambitious with my art and doing more digital stuff#rly thats the biggest reason the random card au pains me so since I wanna post stuff for it but man do I not wanna draw anyone from it#first of all human characters so already eh but also Id have to adapt the cards theyre based on into a design I can actually draw#so as much as I wanna make a billion random card au animatics I cant even bring myself to draw them normally#you see olivia and jackie are easier to draw because I just made shit up for their designs and as such made their designs very simple#but I cant just make shit up for bndori and sekai characters they actually have designs and hair that Id have to adapt to my style it sucks#I just wanna draw doggy arisa is that so much to ask for (yes yes it is I dont wanna figure out her hood)#also rip mygo yall will probably never get in but who knows maybe one day Ill have my second bndori era and then y'all will get in#its rly just the fact that they likely wont have enough cards to properly add them for another few years#especially if that other band also gets in if that happens neither are getting enough cards until the servers shut down lol#like I Could just pick and choose but thats boring#kinda ruins the point of the au y'know?#like tbf Ive cheated in the past by reroling two and limiting my options with several sekai characters#but thats just because at the time most sekai characters had almost no usable cards for this au and the two I rerolled were also unusable#like Im sorry but I couldnt just add normal ass hagumi and masking it wasn't happening
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Talking with Oliver about friendships is so fucking... Intresting lmao
#miranda talking shit#Hes making them sound like actual business things... And meanwhile im here like... Lol only thing in common with people all around me that#Invest time is that they care. They care differently all of them#But they do care in their own way about things/others. Uncaring and unfeeling people are generally not who i invest time in#Oliver: i want people around me with similar ambition and opinions. Meanwhile im there like... Gos there's so few in my life that share#My ambition. I know and have known people with bigger ambitions. Those who want to be well known artists.. Roo working to become a doctor#Giulio is an dentist surgeon... Linnéa is an nurse. Only thing about them all is that they are caring/loving people in their own way#To me... Money and work/ambition in that way doesn't... Matter. Not something i care about at all... So i think it works#For me having people with so different ambitions and higher knowledge than me bc they are also caring people and thus dont give an f about#Others choices or ambitions/money/background? I have friends who are driven and ambitious and hard working...#Which i am not but we are both... Okay with it? I mean i show my support for them and gladly listen to them discuss it with me#Maybe they don't like that i am so... Unambitious and so on but it doesnt seem to be on the level they wont be my friend lol#I just find talking with him so fascinating bc its almost always an different opinion than me#Unfortunately the more i hear him talk the more confident i feel like he would never talk to me outside of work ajdkfkslaldmgk#Which yeah a bummer but i get it. I am not an easy person to like or want around in general
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