#im barely on tumblr (trying to cut back on screen time)

[nrivanwrites]

who reblogged my intro post. what's happening. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[qianinterprises]

Warm Mornings

Pairing | Jeno x Reader x Jaemin

Warning(s) | slightly suggestive (if you squint), polyamorous relationship

Synopsis | Just an everyday morning in the life of you, snuggled between the loves of your life.

Author’s Notes | I wrote this after reading this by @bluejaem. After getting permission (in the form of a brain dumped imagine lol), I decided to write my own little NoMin poly! I would also like to add that I started over three damn times before I was finally happy with it, but it has not been beta read so... expect grammatical errors (Im sorry!)

Work Count | 1.9K

°:.   *₊     .   ☆    ° .       *₊    ☆     ✮       ° .    ☆     *₊   ☆°:.   *₊        ° .   ☆     ✮　 °:.   *₊       °:.   *₊     .   ☆    ° .       *₊    ☆     ✮       ° .    ☆     *₊   ☆°:.   *₊        °

As morning bloomed over the city, pulling individuals out of their dreams to dawn a new day, you rolled over under the blankets, careful not to disturb the arms wrapped around your waist in your quest for comfort. As you settled on your side, facing the eastern window, your eyes cracked open, sleep already leaving you for awakeness.

Sunlight beamed into the window, casting hues of gold along the walls, creating patterns and designs of light around the room. One beam of sun in particular hit the back of the man to your left, light bouncing off his bare skin and illuminating his body in such a way he appeared to almost be glowing. Golden rays bounced off his dyed brown hair, creating such an heir of elegant innocence around him.

The bed ruffled and the body behind you wiggled until one of the arms around your waist was pulling you back against a broad chest, face nestling in your neck, blowing soft tufts of air across your sensitive skin, making you shudder.

“Good morning,” his voice was deep and raspy, husky with sleep.

“Morning,” you whispered back, quiet so as not to wake the male in front of you.

“Is he glowing?”

A smile falls across your face, eyes roving over the porcelain face of Na Jaemin, deep in the confines of sleep, eyes fluttering lightly with dreams, hair a mess atop his head.

“Like an angel,” you whispered.

The arms around your waist seemed to tighten even more as he pressed a kiss on your jaw.

“Our angel.”

You placed your hands lightly over his, stroking along his skin, tracing the bulging veins that came with being a well-built muscular man with a love for exercise.

“Are you two talking about me again?”

Jaemin’s voice brought a yelp from your throat and your body lurched backwards in shock, unfortunately sending your foot into a not so friendly place for the man behind you.

The arms released your body completely as said male let out a slow whine, hands moving down to cup himself, coaxing the organ to stop spiking with the pain your foot had left.

You rolled over, careful of your limbs this time to check that the male was alright.

Lee Jeno. A tall, lanky but muscular man that had stolen your heart the first time your eyes met. His face was contorted in pain, eyes squeezed shut to keep in the tears that surely weren’t far from falling.

“I am so sorry!” you breathed, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder, but he flinched at your touch.

“Give him a moment. Let him catch his bearings.”

Jaemin’s voice wasn’t half so husky now as he wound his arms around his waist and pulled you back, careful of your feet as you curled your legs again comfortably.

“That wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been pretending to be asleep!” you hissed.

“Oh I wasn’t pretending. You two just aren’t as quiet as you think you are.”

You turned your head to send a glare at him when a puff of air left Jeno’s lips and his body uncurled itself. His eyes opened, glassy, and he blinked a few times to rid the tears that threatened to fall.

“Next time you jump in fear, try to make sure your not curled up first!”

Jaemin snorted and you shook your hide, sliding out of Jaemin’s arms and closer to Jeno, who engulfed you in a bear hug, pressing your face against his shoulder.

“No fair! He got cuddles already! I haven’t got my cuddles yet!” Jaemin’s voice whined behind you.

“I just got kicked in the balls! I think I deserve a few extra cuddles!” Jeno insisted.

You rolled your eyes and pulled away from Jeno slightly. He let out a small, puppy whine, hands clinging to your waist as Jaemin cackled behind you, making a grab to pull you away. He let out his own yelp when you slapped one of his hands away and instead, grabbed his arm, tugging him closer until his chest was pressed against your back.

“You can both cuddle me,” you mumbled, nuzzling your face into Jeno’s neck as Jaemin’s arms slowly wrapped themselves around your body.

Your eyes began to droop as two warm bodies help you snuggly between them, hands softly stroking your back or your arms, lulling you back into your dreams, breathing in Jeno’s scent of earthy body wash, content at the way Jaemin’s lips pressed butterfly kisses along your neck.

°:.   *₊     .   ☆    ° .       *₊    ☆     ✮       ° .    ☆     *₊   ☆°:.   *₊        ° .   ☆     ✮　 °:.   *₊       °:.   *₊     .   ☆    ° .       *₊    ☆     ✮       ° .    ☆     *₊   ☆°:.   *₊        °

When you opened your eyes for the second time, you noted the lack of arms around you and the rhythmic heartbeat against your ear.

You let out a soft yawn, shuffling closer to the chest, immediately recognizing it as Jeno’s. You wound your arms around his waist, holding onto him like an overstuffed teddy bear.

He had his phone in his hand, playing some weird alien-killing game, his other hand lazily drawing patterns beneath your shirt against your back.

“Where’s Jaemin?” you asked with a small yawn, nuzzling closer.

“In the kitchen.”

It shouldn’t have been a surprise when he didn’t glance up from the game as another green alien blob appeared on screen.

“I’m going to go see if he needs any help.”

You moved to get up, but the hand down your shirt quickly pulled out and wound itself around your waist, preventing you from moving.

“I’m under strict orders not to let you out of this bed.”

You rolled your eyes but complied, happy to rest your head against Jeno’s bare chest, but his abs were only so interesting.

“Can you hand me my phone?”

Dating two was a lot different than dating just one. You had to make compromises and things didn’t always work out flawlessly. For example, sleeping arrangements.

After dating for a while, the three of you had decided to get an apartment together rather than living in two separate apartments (because Jeno and Jaemin already lived together). It made sense, especially with their differing jobs and never having time to go on dates as a trio. When you’d first bought the apartment, you’d taken your queen sized bed from your old one, but that quickly ended in disaster, either Jaemin or Jeno ending up on the floor in the middle of the night after being kicked out of bed from a restless sleeper.

After finding one or both men snuggled up uncomfortably on the couch because the bed just wasn’t big enough for the three of you, you’d pooled your money and bought a larger, King sized bed. However, while this kept you all in bed without bruises, it also meant you were stuck under two blankets between two boys, both of which radiated heat like a space heater.

You’d find yourself waking up in the middle of the night, their arms wrapped around you, your shirt sticking to your back in sweat, which should have been an easy enough solution, just kick the blankets off. Problem was, when you did, you either squirmed so much it woke one or both of them up, or you ended up warm and toasty between two shivering boys. That was an issue solved with a ceiling fan, though it wasn’t perfect.

The newest issue, however, was always needing assistance to reach something. Rather than sleeping on a side with a night stand, you were constantly shaking them awake to ask for a sip of water from the nightstand or crawling over one of them to use the restroom. A solution to this problem didn’t seem so simple as the others. However, despite waking them up countless times in the middle of the night, they never complained. In fact, they almost seemed happy to do it, even when Jaemin was sluggishly pulling himself out of bed at 5am for work after a rough night.

Unwinding his arm from around your waist, Jeno reached for your phone on the nightstand, unplugging it, and placing it in your hands, wrapping his arm back around your waist and going back to his game.

Pressing a kiss to his chest in thanks, you unlocked your phone, smiling at the photo of the three of you at the beach, begrudgingly taken by Donghyuck who’d gotten roped into third-wheeling when Renjun had bailed at the last minute.

You opened your Tumblr account, shifting to hide your screen from curious eyes and you pulled up your initial feed, hearting posts and reblogging memes until you came upon a fic from your favorite blog <your favorite blog> featuring South Korean heartthrob, Jung Jaehyun.

Biting down on your lower lip, you took another glance at Jeno before letting your eyes scan greedily over the words, drinking them in. It wasn’t long before you were fully absorbed in the story that you didn’t realize Jaemin was calling your name until the phone was snatched out of your hands.

“Geez! You’d think you’d gone deaf!” Jaemin exclaimed.

You felt your cheeks heat up, nose twitching in embarrassment as you carooned into Jeno’s chest.

“What in the-”

Jeno cut himself off. You glanced up at him, curious as to what had shocked him, only for your eyes to widen when you found him gaping at your screen.

“What kind of filth-!”

“It’s called smut! And it’s not for you!” you cried, reaching for the phone, only to have it raised higher, out of your reach.

You huffed.

“When did you start reading that stuff?!” Jaemin gaped.

“Probably around the same time Jeno put that virus on your laptop!”

“Hey!”

“So you’re the culprit! I had to explain to my older brother why I had a virus from an adult site I’d never watched before!” Jaemin exclaimed.

He jumped on the bed, grabbed his pillow, and hit Jeno over the head with it, hitting you at the same time.

“Ouch!” you whined. “Stop it!”

Jaemin huffed and flopped down on the bed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jeno placed your phone back on the table and all was quiet until you turned to look at Jaemin.

“What were you calling me for anyways?”

He stared at you in confusion for a moment before perking up.

“Oh! Do you want orange juice or coffee?”

“Um… coffee duh! We started dating two years ago, right? Not yesterday?”

“I was just making sure!” he grumbled, crawling out of bed and stomping back to the kitchen.

When he was gone, Jeno leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead.

“I still want to know why you were reading filth about that idol…”

“Just forget it Jeno. You wouldn’t understand,” you groaned.

Not even a minute later, Jaemin was walking back into the room carefully balancing three trays in his arms. Jeno reached out to grab his own. Jaemin placed your tray over your lap and slid back under the blankets on your left. You sat up in bed and leaned close to press a kiss to the males cheek, only for him to turn at the last minute, capturing your lips.

He brought a hand to your face, cupping your cheek softly, drawing you closer as his tongue brushed over your bottom lip before pulling away, placing a lasting peck on your forehead.

“I love you,” he whispered.

You nuzzled yourself closer, careful not to disturb the tray of food on your lap.

“I love you more,” Jeno, clearly dissatisfied with his lack of attention, stated moving up behind you and pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

You let out a breathy laugh, wrapped one arm around Jaemin’s neck, the other around Jeno’s.

“I love you both the most.”

[rouiyan]

hmm im quite new to tumblr and honestly am dissapointed with the lack of GOOD doyoung fics on here. can I request a scenario or a drabble (whichever u see fit) of doyoung taking me along when 127 were touring and the moments we had (backstage/fights and making up/ comforting when he felt unsatisfied with his perfomance/moments with some other members too) I just miss 127 touring a lot !! and ofc if this is too complicated u can refuse lol

hey lovely, this ended up way longer than it should have been but it’s really just a bunch of drabbles strung together that have somewhat coherence to another. i liked the way it turned out though and i hope that you do too <3 

𝐨𝐟 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐈𝐆 𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 — idol!doyoung x (gender neutral) reader ✧ genres : established relationship, fluff, angst ✧ word count : 4.7k ✧ disclaimers : swearing, food

synopsis — snapshots of what it's like to travel with your boyfriend. oh an his nine other teammates.

“how much space do you have left there?”

doyoung peers over you, chin propped atop your shoulder, and even though he sees for himself quite plainly, you supply him with an answer anyways, “not much, just the front pocket now.” his chin digs and you shift your head the slightest in his direction, to appease him with your attention maybe. he doesn’t budge nor speak so you take it upon yourself. “what?”

“quick kiss?”

plucking the garment from the assortment of items he'd passed along, you inspect it with curious eyes, "you gonna wear this?"

"huh? oh, that." he sits back on his knees, then onto his bottom, then crossing his legs, "i thought i'd give sleeveless a try." you don't mean for it to come out offensively, rather teasingly in actuality, "you?"

unbothered, he simply muses on, "yeah, me. why?" with eyes rushed and flitting across his surroundings for a sight of his phone. now you're even less in the intent of offending him, more so just pushing his buttons in the face of humor, a humor that's evident in the way you glance up from the tee, eyes locking with his own and shadowing with mischief, "with what muscles?"

doyoung clicks his tongue, sticks it into the side of his cheek, and now back on his knees, treads over to where you're sat, countenance teeming with amusement. his demeanor himself traces in the slight of a smile that's yet to appear, only held back as he defends his biceps, "hey, i've been working out, you know." you watch him situate himself once again, legs crossing just opposite of your own. placing both your hands on both his knees, you lean in, lips puckered and nose scrunched either in emphasis or hilarity, he isn't quite sure though he thinks it's cute. that is, until you speak again, "you want your kiss? how bout now?" and he mirrors with an, "i'll pass," standing to retreat back into the hunt for his missing phone, head shaking all the while at your devious antics.

minutes later and upon finding it within the folds of his sheets, doyoung reverts his attention back to you who, by the looks of it, has just finished packing for the night with both sides of your suitcase clamped shut but yet to be zipped. his feet are planted firm on the ground when you move to stand in between them. they're off the ground a moment later when you push him back into the bed with an 'umph' and a hug that pulls both your bodies flush against each other's.

you'd go on about it for days but to you, doyoung has always been a silent lover. a kind of lover that people would mistake as just 'a friend of yours' or sometimes even a brother, cousin, relative of the sorts. by no means is he vocal with his love for you, and though times are abundant when you find yourself at dead ends with the thoughts of how he seemingly flits between, in and out of love, the one thing that never fails to reassure you is how he holds you tight. 

forehead on his chest and arms laced around his back, you do your best to hold him as closely as he does you but it's impossible, you think, and not because of his so-called 'muscles.' the intimacy you share with him is bred from comfort, apprehension, normality. it's apparent when he next speaks, voice lower and reserved for when you are close and the tingling feeling in his heart softens his regard a tenfold, "excited?"

you lift your head to peer up at him. the same softness is returned in your one-word response, "elated," as you thud your temple back upon his chest. the chuckles he give reverberate beneath you, "sarcasm or no?" a shake of your head is given but doyoung craves more. hands on your waist, he manhandles you, in the gentlest possible way, so that your head lies in the dip of his neck, arms around his shoulder, and legs on either side of him. he knows that at this point, your energy is already teetering the lines of consciousness. he makes the most of what little you have left.

"kiss me?"

a sloppy peck is left at the foot of his neck and your lips stay there for the rest of the night.

the wind slaps at the skin of your face. you swipe away a hair or two that it'd blown into your mouth, open as you exclaim into the wide air before you. the city air is noticeably laden with light pollution and carbon emissions alike but it's refreshing to you who has spent the greater part of the day limited to a cramped airplane seat. the shuffle of feet, a sound that's barely discernible in the mix of whizzing cars and honks, calls for your attention from behind. heeding to it, you find  doyoung, swaddled in a sizeable down coat, with his eyes squinted in the wind. "coming in soon? you've been out here yelling for almost twenty minutes."

you give him a look that makes it seem as if the situation were of a scolding mom and a naughty child. it's like you're adhering to the script because apprehensiveness does indeed rest in your wary response, "i just wanted to try it, like how they do in the dramas, you know?"

his tone chides, "yeah, yeah i know," while dragging you back inside the warmth of the hotel room, sitting you atop the bed, crouching before you. "doyoung, what are you-" though bizarre, the prospect of a ring emerging from behind his back does cross your mind. instead, he draws forth a bottle of wine.

you comment on it a little later, four hours, with jaehyun sprawled upon the bed to your left, snores loud and resounding in between the sentences of your hushed (and very much drunken) conversation. "you know, earlier when you brought out the wine, i thought you were actually going to propose to me." under the lamplight from the bedside table, your boyfriend's cheeks are tinged a soft pink, flusteredness maybe, inebriation surely. his head slops forwards onto your stomach, off and out of the hold of his palm, and lolls there for awhile before his dwindling bouts of energy jolt him upright. the sudden movement of his elbows digging into your abdomen have you groaning until a light smack is landed on his forehead. doyoung gives you a sleazy smile.

"maybe."

suddenly you're very much sobered up. "what'd you say?" though doyoung is still very much intoxicated as his head tumbles down upon your stomach once more, mumbling against your skin, "i did bring a ring to surprise you. i don't know if now's the time though, what do you think?" you don't think, in fact, you are completely and utterly void of thoughts. his, "hm?" pulsates from beneath you but even then, you're at a loss of words.

"i think—" i think yes. "i think you ought to go to sleep." 

when you will your eyes upon his figure, perhaps a minute later, you find that per your instruction, he's already fast asleep.

the flight from jakarta to london is 15 hours (too) long and you'd planned to spend a good chunk of it doing what you were doing now, seat reclined the furthest possible and knees brought up to your chest to prop up your switch. you'd come to the conclusion that packing your earbuds in your suitcase that went into cargo was perhaps your first big mistake; your second, forgetting to ask doyoung for his before he fell asleep. with the volume turned to mute for the past four hours and counting, you scrunch your nose as your animal crossing character silently stumbles across another wasp-laden tree, third in a row, but before you're able to net it, your boyfriend stirs from beside you, his fingers tapping incessantly on your wrist to call for your attention. you glance over at him, "what?" and when you glance back to the screen, you're displeased, to say the least, to see that your character now has a swollen eye, courtesy of the wasp and its programmed sting.

the look on your face when you drop your feet to the ground, the device dropping to your lap, is enough to get doyoung to cut straight to the point. "i need to brush my teeth, wanna come with me?" puzzlement clouds your expression and he furthers in explanation, "you know, to save time?" still not quite getting his point, you nod along anyways, thinking a little walk and stretch to the bathroom wouldn't hurt. "okay." 

taking his outstretched hand, the journey to the bathroom turns out to to be the most stressful. the whole row of three very tall men (jungwoo, jaehyun, and johnny in that order) with their very long legs making the situation a lot more complicated than need be. you end up tripping once over jungwoo's left foot, twice over jaehyun's right shoe, and thrice over johnny's right knee, a lot higher than where any normal knee should mark when planted straight on the ground.

the lock on the lavatory clicks shut behind you right when you realize just how small the compartment is. doyoung closes the toilet lid and props a knee upon it, leaving you with enough space to place your legs shoulder-length wide at most. you look over at him, or rather, you tilt your head slightly to the right and chuckle into the fabric of his hoodie, his chest pressed into your face. you manage between your chuckles, "go on, brush your teeth." 

his arms bustle their way around and about you to grab at one of the packaged toothbrushes at the left of the sink and a paper cup at the right. there really is no way around it though a moment later, he relents by taking both legs upon the toilet seat to accommodate you. his kneeling stance stunts his height so that you're at about eye level with him. "here," you pass along the toothpaste and he flicks a dot of it on the brush. instead of stretching over to the sink, he simply passes along the toothbrush for you to run under water, passes the cup for you to do the same, and accepts them back with grateful hands. "you know, this would've been a lot more efficient if you'd just gone by yoursel—"

"i know," he says it as if unimpressed, though it sounds more like 'iiroe' (or some other incoherent keyboard spam) as he continues to brush his teeth. you prop your hands upon your hips, both elbows hitting opposing walls and a teasing lilt is added to your voice, "are you mad you brought me along?" you're not sure if he's smiling or if he's simply following through with his teeth-washing regimen. doyoung shakes his head, "no." you smile at that.

you know for a fact that he's smiling when the two of you switch spots, quite the haphazard move for your head clunks onto an overhanging cabinet while his back is then subjected to half your falling weight. a hand of yours is quick to clamp over his mouth right when you gather your bearings because his laughs come out loud in between panting breaths. you're terrified at the thought of being caught by a passing stewardess who'd suspected two people and some funny business upon breaking in, only to find two people, yes, but one brushing teeth on the closed toilet lid and the other laughing hysterically with a hand clutching his sore back. 

doyoung backs out of the bathroom at first alone, head snapping left and right in a spy-in-a-secret-agent-movie-esque way, before tugging you behind him, the folding door clapping shut. he waits as you prod careful steps over the three soundly sleeping men and he grins when his turn comes and he epically fails in his attempt to cross over in one, sweeping step. he apologizes sheepishly at the three, now awake though still very tall, men and he turns back to you, only then letting the suppressed sniggers out. 

if not your lover, doyoung is your best friend. there's something reassuring about having someone that always has your back. whether it just be laughing with you, crying with you, sitting with you in silence as you both scroll through your phones, or even now, as he peers over your shoulder to watch your little character fish the same sea bass over and over again. you like the comfort that you share with him, the comfort you were so lucky to have happened upon.

the armrest in between is pushed up as you slip your switch back into the front pocket of his backpack. doyoung holds an arm out and you slip into the warmth of his side, head bobbing to the turbulence and onto the heights of his shoulder. he glances down at you, briefly, and when your eyes meet his, they curve into the sleepiest of smiles. the two of you sleep with the pace of your breaths in tandem with each other's, the two of you wake under the announcements of a landing, and your fingers hook onto the sides of his backpack as he leads the way off the plane, in a single file line all the way.

doyoung drapes a jacket over your shoulders the second you break the open air of london and he hooks the same jacket above your head where the awning of the airport stops and the thundering skies continue their downpour where it left off. his hand provides cover as you duck into the car, so as to prevent you from hitting the frame of the door, and when he slides in, right next to you as always, you grab his hand in your own, eyeing each other with the indications of a smile. 

it's then, as you point to the little droplets that whizz across the window of the car, that doyoung finds himself face to face with the same conclusion that he comes to time and time again. he loves you, a lot.

the palm of his hands slide down the satin fabric of his slacks, repeatedly. the look you throw his way has him gulping. "you sure you're not nervous?" his hands stop midway, too obvious it seems. "not at all." a quirk of your lips is given in response as you take the seat next to him in the waiting room. you watch as he tucks his bottom lip under teeth and you watch as his hands shift in their continuation down his thighs but retract and interlink as if they'd remembered not to do so. a stage manager knocks once before bursting in, sweat trickling down the sides of her face and a side of her headphones pulled backwards of an ear. she pants though the show has yet to begun. "five minutes and he has to get backstage," is what she directs at you and you pair your nod with a kind smile, signaling her exit.

the interaction only seems to ignite increasing bouts of anxiety from your already antsy boyfriend so you take his hands in yours, situating your body a smidgen to the right, and do your best to absorb his attention in something, anything else that could sidetrack his nerves for just those five minutes. 

"excited for tomorrow?" doyoung's hands squirm in yours and his facial expression morphs into a flicker of confusion before righting itself and following through with a reply, albeit half-hearted, "yeah, i guess."

"it's your first day off in awhile," you give his hand a squeeze, "and we get to explore the city, all by ourselves." he only nods along and though you're sure your attempt is futile, you hope that it falls through, "and new york's up next huh, i bet the snow will be real prett-"

"what are you getting at?"

it takes a second for you to process what he'd just did, what he'd just said, "what?" though looking at him, he's nonchalant as ever; the tone in which he rejoins makes it seem as if he's ticked off somehow, "why are you telling me this?" 

doyoung's brows draw to a point and it throws you off. he is ticked off. and it's plausibly that realization that gets you taking a stand for yourself as well, voice now clipped, "i just thought that i could preoccupy your thoughts for a bit, you seem so ne-"

"y/n." stopped in your tracks, you blink back at him benumbed. "i've already got enough on my plate as it is, why can't you just let me deal with my own shit?" 

there's something brooding beneath the face you put on for him. he sees it surfacing and he has enough sense to pay mind to it. that is, until you retort, "your own shit? then why the fuck am i-" 

"yes, my own shit. last i checked, i'm the one going up on that stage tonight so stop talking as if it's our job." and his defenses are held back up, sky-high, untouchable. doyoung's scowling at you as if you've never been more wrong in your life when in fact, you're almost positive that he's never been more at fault. the clench in his jaw, his hardened eyes, edged stance, everything about him in the moment jars you and you want nothing more than to punch him square in the nose (you do have quite the mad uppercut) but you restrain yourself under the pretense that he's minutes, maybe even seconds, away from being called to the stage, to perform.

sighing, the only thought that comes to your mind as you gather your bearings along with your belongings is the feeling that creeps between the synapses that once had held tight in your belief of his support, of his leniency, of his affections when it came to you. you swallow thickly, bag in hand and other hand reaching out for your coat, because you're sure you've never felt as unwanted as you do now, in front of him, glowering in your presence. at least the glint in his eyes soften when you come to a stop in front of him. 

doyoung peers up at you then, dubiously, and the first urge he receives is to duck his head back down. he feels small, and not because he's sitting and you're standing. he feels small, infinitesimal, with the knowledge that somewhere in those five minutes, things had gone awfully awry with little hope in rectifying in the little time left. the air that hangs heavy between the two of you remains silent, save for the unspoken passing of words that neither of you acknowledge. you're the first, and last, to break it.

"are you mad you brought me along?"

doyoung wishes he'd been quicker in denying. maybe that would've been enough to keep you from excusing yourself the second the stage manager had made her reappearance. maybe that would've been enough to get you to stay, to watch him, to cheer him on, to support him. maybe that would've calmed his nerves, finally, at last. he doesn't know, he's having a hard time deciphering his thoughts, chunking through his regrets, wallowing in his worries. 

doyoung gets into position. the only thing he knows is that he's in the right spot, the glow-in-the-dark tape tells him so. he'll have to sing soon, and maybe his scratchy voice will add to his pile of regrets. he'll have to dance too, to remember formations, stage directions, but the idea seems so far away, foreign, when all he can think of is the look on your face as the seconds dragged on, waiting for him to say 'no,' to say 'of course not,' to say 'i'm sorry, i love you.'

he's having a hard time because even now, long after you've left, the words stay lodged in his throat. and as the screams from just beyond grow louder and louder, as the lights overhead grow brighter and brighter, doyoung finds himself face to face with the same conclusion that he comes to time and time again. he needs you, he needs you more than ever.

it's dark and cold when doyoung first enters. to the right, he flicks the light on mindlessly to be met with an empty room. he supposes that it's warranted. setting his backpack upon the bed, sheets still pulled crisp and unfurled, he almost succumbs to the taunts of sleep that entice him but a single thought of you rectifies him, hand fishing out his phone from a back pocket of his jeans. 

it's then that he notices, with a startle that rivals a starring victim in a horror movie, the door to the balcony propped open a finger's length. he takes a glance back at the entrance to see your discarded shoes that had went unnoticed just seconds before, he figures. the curtains that skirt the adjacent windows billow in the wind that veers past the crack allotted, the gusts that becomes stronger and more fervid with each step doyoung takes in the direction. there's no creak that accompanies the swinging of the door, though he wishes there were so he wouldn't have to break his presence to you so suddenly. the second thing he notices, just behind the fact that you are indeed out here, is that the air is a biting cold, explaining the initial temperature he was met with upon entering. 

you're wearing the same, thin sweatshirt that you had donned for your backstage viewing of the concert, regrettably the coat had been neglected in your state. from the far edge of the balcony, you know there's a whole world splayed out before you, buildings lower, taller, equally as tall as the high-rise of your hotel, winding streets that never seemed to end, traffic that never seemed to move. you know, but it's impossible to see for yourself with the tears in your eyes that come as fast as they go.

time is stagnant, has been for hours upon hours, for you. for you also, crying is foreign territory, really, you'd like to consider yourself headstrong in the face of conflict and composed in the face of inner turmoil. it feels silly to find yourself hundreds of feet in the air and hundreds of miles away from home, sobbing in the light of an ineffectual fight with your boyfriend of three years. and it isn't as if the fight proved detrimental to the relationship, it was trivial in all the ways that pointed to the single course of action being to simply make up with him and move on. but somehow, your hesitance holds in resilience. 

you don't want to admit how unnerving it was to see an argument stem from such a small trifle, such a small amount of time, such a lack of care. why is it that situations that seem so small in their doing hold the most significance in their passing?

doyoung clears his throat and now you're the starring victim in a horror movie. a, "holy fuck!" accompanies the startle and the knuckle-white grip that both of your hands impose upon the rail. he steps fully out of the hotel room, into the frigid air of a london night, a london midnight in the middle of winter. "sorry, i- i'm back." rather lame but there's little headspace for you (or him for the matter) to process that. 

with a hand still on the nob, doyoung stands stiff across from you who is slowly but surely withering in the realization of how pitiful you must look, hair mussed in the wind, tear tracks evident, and the remnant pants that your hiccups had left in the wake of your breakdown. if not pitiful, then straight up pathetic. 

"are you okay?"

you blink at him. there's not much else you can say except, "yeah, i'm okay."

doyoung takes a step closer, a hand off the nob and the door clicks shut behind him. two more steps and he's a two foot distance from where you're stood on the far right of the terrace, gaze intent on his every action. he doesn't say anything at all, and what vexes you the most, he simply opens his arms wide, a forlorn sort of smile settling across his features. his apology.

there's not much else you can do except to give in to his embrace, reminiscent of all the love you've ever come to know, all the love you will ever know. you cry again, once in his arms; something about the smell of him, the warmth he gives off on a cold winter night, that gets you sniffling into his chest, finger fisting his own sweatshirt at the small of his back. a hand of his rounds your figure and holds you upright, the other is lain on the back of your head, soft strokes to tell you that he does care, he's here for you. really, the one thing that never fails to reassure you is how he holds you tight. 

hundreds of miles from home, scratch that, because right there in his arms, there is nothing more convincing than the fact that doyoung is your home, you are home.

mark sips on his smoothie until the straw begins to make those whistle-y, echo-y sounds that tell of how he's finished the drink. a passing waitress takes the emptied glass from him and he gives a nod to her muttered, "refill?" 

glancing back, he's met with a plate of food that's been cleared for a good while now and a table of mostly drunk boys that can't seem to get a hold of themselves. taeil, quite the horrific drunk, is slopped over haechan's side. neither of them seem to notice. and then there's yuta, taeyong, and jungwoo, all seated in a row and all with their heads fallen straight on the table, backs hunched over. sicheng and johnny are nowhere to be seen but mark supposes it wouldn't be all that odd to find one of them lain out flat on the floor, or underneath the table, or even suspended from the ceiling at this point. 

mark glances across the table, locks eyes with jaehyun who had also decided to remain sober for the night. jaehyun gives a nudge of his head over to his right, to where mark looks to his left to see you and doyoung at the end of the table engrossed in conversation, so much so that it seems as if you're leaning into each other, elbows propped on the table and all. he could chalk it up to the speakers, the music was turned pretty loud, so naturally you'd lean in to hear the other better. or maybe, mark thinks, maybe the two of you are just naturally drawn to each other, a thing that happens to couples as he'd heard, subconscious actions like these are plausible as well. or maybe, mark thinks, but his train of thought is interrupted when the waitress returns with his strawberry smoothie, straw exchanged and drink refilled. he takes it from her, a gracious, "thank you," supplied and when she turns to leave he takes a sip, turning back himself.

whatever made it into his mouth is spat right back out when he sees the scene unfolding before him. here is mark's inner narration on what's happening:

doyoung-hyung's not in his seat, huh. oh there, he's standing, no wait—now he's kneeling, oh, he's kneeling. what's he getting from his pocket? a box, it's a teeny box. he's opening teeny box, oh fuck, oh jesus, oh he's proposing. he's asking you to marry him. oh my god, what if you don't say ye-

"yes."

copyright © 2020 rouiyan all rights reserved.

✧ end note — hey anon, i hope that you thought it was a GOOD fic. if not, ahem, i apologize for taking up your time. but really, this fic holds together so many mini ideas that i had but were never substantial enough to turn into writing so thank you for giving me a base to build off of, i enjoyed writing it very much <3

[andromedasstarship]

in the stars - prologue

photo credits: unknown

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

warnings - depictions of violence, stalking, murder, angst, age gap couple, general criminal minds warnings. 18+, minors do not interact. 

summary - One of the biggest names in Hollywood, your relationship with Aaron Hotchner was kept on a strict need to know basis. When he unexpectedly ended things, you struggled moving on from a relationship barely anyone knew ever existed. Now, nearly two years later, a new unsub has taken a special interest in you. When the BAU is called in, secrets come out and Hotch and his team will have to race against the clock to save you from an untimely end. 

masterlist // read it on ao3 here

-----

You weren’t sure how much longer you could stomach this. This was the fourth woman to be murdered in your name. It was like clockwork, every two weeks a new body was discovered. Each woman eerily similar to you and in their mouths there was always a piece of paper that had the title of a movie you had been in, a different title each time. The police had no leads, no suspects, not even a sliver of DNA to try and run off of. All they had been able to do was certify you weren’t the one behind the murders. It was becoming increasingly apparent that the deaths wouldn’t be stopping any time soon and that the police weren’t even close to breaking the surface of the case.

Officer Reynolds sat across from you, when the murders began her soft gaze and gentle voice had once been a source of comfort. But now, it was just a tell that you were being called back into the police station, not because they had found the culprit, but rather another body turned up. 

“Miss L/N, did you hear me?” 

"I’m sorry, what was that?” 

“Miss, we’ve called in for a team of specialists from the FBI. They’re arriving tonight. They’re trained in-”

"Did you call in the BAU,” you quickly cut her off, eyes wide with a mix of emotions Office Reynolds couldn’t quite place. 

“Oh, yes we did. Have you, um, worked with them before?” Officer Reynolds asked, her face twisted in confusion. 

“No, no. I’ve just heard of them. Once, a very long time ago. I heard they’re really good at what they do. Which is a good thing, a really good thing. Thank you for calling them in, I appreciate it,” you were practically choking on your own words, but unable to stop, “can I leave now?” 

Officer Reynolds stared at you as if she had something to say, her confusion at your sudden change in demeanor written clear across her face. Her mouth opened as if to say something, before smashing her lips together in a tight line and nodding her head. 

“You’ll need to be back tomorrow in the morning Miss L/N, the team is going to need to speak with you directly about the case,” she said, giving you another one of those ‘comforting’ looks. 

“Of course, I’ll be here,” with that you took a deep breath to steel your nerves. You quickly grabbed your things and exited the room. In a flash you exited the building, nearly running into your car. In your haste, you failed to notice the faint clicking sound of a camera coming from the tree line. The entire drive home only one thought was on your mind. 

He was coming. 

On the other side of the country, the BAU was staring at the files being downloaded onto their tablets. They had been called in rather unexpectedly, for a case that had ‘highest priority’ according to correspondence from LAPD.

“I’m sorry to bring you all in at such an hour, but LAPD is nervous about an oncoming media nightmare,” JJ said, pointing the remote towards the screen, a photo of you popped up. No one noticed as Hotch swallowed harder at the sight of you, his knuckles turning ever so slightly white as he gripped the table. “This is Y/N L/N,” JJ continued, “over the past two months, four women who resemble her have turned up dead in LA and the surrounding area. A piece of paper with the title of a movie she’s been in has been found in each victim’s mouth as well, different titles each time. LAPD has no leads.” The photos of the four women filled the screen as well, the similarities they all held exemplified on the big screen.   

“Four women in two months, with such a clear connection? Why are we only being called in now,” Derek asked. 

“LAPD thought they’d have it under control. They’re used to big celebrities being stalked or targeted. But they’re hitting dead end after dead end, so far the dump sites have been spread out enough to avoid media attention, they’re not trying to push their luck any further,” JJ explained, pausing for a moment she lifted her head up from the tablet in front of her, “all the files should be downloaded by now, LAPD wants us there tonight, the jet is being prepared now, we’ll meet with Y/N in the morning and go from there.” 

 “Y/N won’t be there when we arrive?” Hotch interjected, hyper aware of how every agent turned to look at him. 

“No, the contact said she left pretty quickly after getting the news we were being called in, but promised to come in in the morning,” JJ replied, already moving out of her seat. With that, Hotch’s shoulders relaxed ever so slightly, a motion missed by the rest of the room. 

“We’ll debrief more on the plane. Garcia, I want you to figure out everything you can about the victims. In the morning, Emily and Reid, I want you two to talk with L/N and see if she knows anything useful. Derek and I will visit the last dump site for clues LAPD might’ve missed. Dave and JJ, I want you covering our media trail, make sure nothing gets out unless we authorize it,” Hotch ordered, his voice tighter than usual, “Y/N-, L/N’s status means it’s of utmost importance that we keep a low profile, we don’t want to send the unsub underground before we even step in the building,” he finished, internally flinching at his almost automatic response to refer to you by your first name. If anyone was curious about his mild slip up, they didn’t show it. As the agents all quickly filed out of the room, grabbing their go bags and heading to board the plane, Hotch only had one thought on his mind. 

He was coming.

-----

a/n - wow, hi anyone reading this! this is my first time ever writing fic, im nervous and excited and so happy to be sharing this with you! chapter 1 is in the works and will be much longer than the prologue! if youd like to be added to the taglist, send me a reply or ask! minors do not engage/interact, 18+ ONLY

no permission is given to copy or repost my work anywhere else. if you see this story anywhere besides my tumblr or ao3 account, it is stolen work. 

taglist: @mac99martin​ @iwaizumiee​ @kylorendrip​ 

[neon-junkie]

Hopefully it's not a bother, but could you write something about the Van Der Linde gang getting magically transported (Magic, Tardis, Marko, Science ) to the modern universe and having the gn! Reader help them adapt to this world? Maybe some of their reactions to new things (indoor bathrooms, new music, tv, memes) Thank you so much, love!

oh god this is a long post, and as always, im convinced i’ve missed one member out... minor drug warning on Johns headcanon, but the rest are tame. hope u enjoy!

Part 2 is here  |  Part 3 is here

Arthur finds your computer and figures out how to turn it on. Your face turns white when you find him on Tumblr, quickly shutting the tab and urging him up off the chair. "Hey! I was reading that! I was... erm, I think I was having sex with myself," he tells you. Yep, he's found the fanfiction. "Do they really mean that? That I got kind eyes and a, uh... fat ass, I think it was?"  You quickly show him the kitchen and run back to delete all your history. John goes rummaging through your cupboards for something to eat, and eventually finds the brownies in the fridge. You find him on the roof, his eyes red and his heads spinning. "Them.. them brownies..." he mutters. "I know, John," you sob back. You know which brownies he ate, and my god, he ate a lot of them. Arthur babysits him, his mind still questioning what he just read on your computer. Dutch finds the beast of a lawnmower you have in your garage, so you show him how to use it. Why not? He's mowing your lawn for free. Well, he did mow your lawn, but you eventually have to send a search party out after him, only to find him a couple of streets away, parked up next to a childs lemonade stand, insisting they should be selling this lemonade for more if they want to make a profit. 

Hosea also goes missing, but you find him during your search party mission. He's walking up the street back to the house with a paper bag in his hands, and he tells you he's managed to con the gas station clerk into giving him some free booze. You're not sure how, but he's done no harm so you let him enjoy his wine in peace. Bill found your anime figure collection, the ones with the big boobs. He asked you what they were, despite seeming rather flustered, but you tried to explain that it's normal and gave him a book to read. You catch him on your computer a few hours later buying himself a waifu body pillow because "I love her, dammit! Just let us be!" He also keeps pressing the squishy boobs on your anime mouse matt, and yes, he's still very flustered. Javier finds the TV in your room that has Netflix on it, so you show him how to use it and he seems happy distracting himself with that. You walk in a few hours later to see that Javier hasn't moved, but Molly is now by his side, also engulfed in the drag show on the screen. Javier has a thick pair of false lashes on that Molly managed to put on him, and the first thing he says to you is "can you believe this? They voted her off! I... I can't believe this." He's shaking his head and looks like he's about to cry. Charles discovers your computer, and you decide he'd be happy just browsing the web. You come back hours later to find 100 tabs open and your computer fan is louder than an airplane. The current tab open is on a 'where's Waldo?' piece. He's very close to the screen, and you decide to show him how to zoom in to help him find Waldo faster. He's very thankful, and not causing any damages so you leave him to it. Lenny also rummages through your kitchen and finds a pizza in the freezer. He asks you what it is, so you put it in the oven for him. He spends the whole 15 minutes sitting in front of the oven, briefly saying hello to Sean as he runs through. Lenny manages to get the pizza out without burning himself, turns the oven off, cuts up the pizza and takes it upstairs to enjoy with Jack. Yes, he also fed Sean a slice. Sean finds the energy drinks in your fridge that you keep for work. They tasted a little funny at first, but after the third one, he's decided he likes them. You catch him opening his fourth, his eyes are wider than the moon. He cries when you take it off him, and spends the rest of the day running around the garden with your dogs, followed by going to each member of the camp and personally annoying them until he crashes out under your dining table. It's a cozy spot for a nap. Kieran uses your computer after Charles comes off it, and discovers youtube. He starts off with simple cat videos and eventually moves on to fails and meme comps. By the time dinner rolls around, nobody can understand him, and you barely understand half the things he's saying. The only thing you do understand is "big mood," which is what Kieran says when he sees Sean asleep under the dining table. Pearson decides to avoid the kitchen and try something new, and you're quick to decide he'd enjoy rock music. You show him a couple of CD's and leave him to have a listen, only to come storming back up the stairs a few minutes later because he's turned the volume up to full blast and is having a rather funky jam session. "Now this, this is real music!!" He's really enjoying the classics. Trelawny is quick to figure out how to use the TV. He's seen "those moving picture shows" before, and he's mesmerized by how far they've come! You catch him up at 5am watching documentaries to help bridge the gap between his time and yours, and when you walk into the lounge, you're met by a very sleep deprived Trelawny. The only thing he says to you, with heavy bags under his eyes, is "terribly sorry to hear about all these wars you've been having, my dear." He finally goes to bed, but only because you make him. Swanson disappears, but there's a church down the road from you so you decide to check there first. He's inside, joining in on the ceremony, singing his heart out to all the hymns with a real bible in his hands, not the fake one he has back at camp. He seems content so you leave him to it. He thankfully returns just in time for dinner, and tells everybody how he's been blessed and that we can "never leave this land!" Strauss also disappears very quickly, and you have to search for him when you go to look for Dutch. He's also at the lemonade stand, trying to explain to Dutch that if the child sells the lemonade for more, then they're less likely to get customers as it's too expensive. The two of them are arguing, and the child seems rather confused. Strauss later has a breakdown at the noise your toilet makes, he informs you that he'll be using your outside bathroom, even if it is just the bushes. Micah says he doesn't need you to show him the ropes and swats you away, so you leave him to it. You've not seen him for a good few hours, so you run around the house trying to find him. You eventually find him in your room, going through your underwear draw. Arthur is quick to knock his lights out, and you leave him tied up in the garage so he can't do any more damage. Micah also pissed all over your toilet seat and didn't flush. Abigail joins Trelawny in the lounge, watching the TV after Jack tells her he's happy playing with the toys in your room. She and Trelawny have an argument over what to watch next, so you give her your laptop to watch TV on, along with a pair of headphones. She refuses to come off a few hours later because she's way too engulfed in the modeling show she's watching. You promise her you'll let her give you a makeover if she comes off, and she finally agrees. Jack discovers your big box of legos and he seems more than content playing with those. He ends up building a fort, with the help of Lenny, and the two fire pillows at you when you try and enter the room. The pillow canons are, of course, made from legos. At least they're not lego pillows! Jack also thanks you for the pizza, describing it as 'yummy.' Sadie finds your katana collection, and you're quick to take them off her and attempt to hide them. She spends some time pretending to be interested in something else, but as soon as you turn your back for a split second, she's found them again and is heading straight for Kieran. The room where you keep your katanas is now locked and Sadie is in time out. Susan comes across your sewing machine and you're happy to show her how it works. She picks it up quickly, and her eyes glisten as she realizes just how fast this thing is. You leave her be since she's not causing any harm, but come back an hour later to find she's made new a new dress for herself, and all the girls in the gang, including Sadie. They're all matching! Tilly finds your piano and tells you she's happy to be left to her own devices, she knows how to play. You eventually have to tell her and Susan to calm down after receiving another noise complaint, as Susan is attempting to sing opera, and Tilly is killing it on the piano. At least she hasn't damaged anything. She later joins Mary-Beth in time to watch Beauty and the Beast, also sobbing at the film. Karen goes into your garage and discovers your old golf clubs. You show her how it works in your garden, but just like everybody else, it goes wrong. Your neighbor knocks on your door, screaming, demanding to know why you keep firing golf balls through their window. That's when you find Karen and Sean (who is still on his energy drink high) having a contest to see who can smash the most. Mary-Beth discovers your kindle, and she seems rather content with being able to read. There's no way this could possibly go wrong? Well, you come back a little later to find that Mary-Beth is sobbing after reading Beauty and the Beast. She wants a sappy romance just like that to happen to her. She cries even harder when she watches the Disney film, along with Trelawny who hasn't moved from the TV for hours. Molly picks up your tablet, and after showing her what youtube is, you leave her to it. You find her a few hours later sat in front of your mirror with the most flawless, full face of makeup. She greets you by going "hey sisters!" and speaks to you like a vsco girl. You have no idea what she's saying, but she seems to be doing fine, so you leave her to it.

[eury--dice]

history, huh?

chapter 3: propius

(check the rb for chapters 1 + 2 on tumblr + ao3 links!)

Adam was woken at 5 o’clock on the dot with a series of sharp knocks on his door. “Up and Adam,” Gansey’s voice called, making the one stupid dad joke that always set Adam’s blood to a boil. He was too tired to react, however.

“Kindly leave until a later time,” he called, his voice heavy with sleep. “I don’t have class for another three hours.”

Gansey opened the door anyway, striding in with more pep than anyone should have in the morning.

“You’ve made the tabloids, my friend. Your weekend with Ronan finally hit.”

“Did you sleep at all?”

“Nope,” Gansey said cheerfully. “‘From America, With Love: Ronan and Adam flaunt friendship.’” He turned on his heel once he’d crossed the length of the room, which Adam could never forget was formerly Malia Obama’s, and seated himself in Adam’s desk chair.

Adam had never been closer to considering strangulation. He elected to shove his hearing ear into his pillow instead.

Unfortunately, the muffled sounds of Gansey speaking still made their way in. “‘Photos: Adam’s Weekend in England,’ oh, that’s boring…ah-hah: ‘New Bromance Alert? Pics of FSOTUS and Prince Ronan.’”

Adam resigned himself to his fate and mentally promised himself a giant cup of coffee. “As long as I’m getting fewer death threats on Twitter, I’m happy,” he mumbled into his blankets.

Gansey ignored him. “Why are you so tired? It’s the hour of kings, time to be awake and alive.”

“I’d settle for dead if it meant I could sleep at this point, to be frank.”

“Please don’t be frank. Be Adam.”

Adam sat up, eyeing Gansey in his wire-framed glasses with disdain. “Any more puns and I suffocate myself with this pillow.”

“Please don’t,” Gansey said, but his eyes had already returned to his screen. While he read through the articles, he continued his line of questioning. “Working on the campaign late last night?”

“Not really,” Adam admitted. “I had a Press and the Presidency paper to write.”

“Just write ‘I’m Adam Parrish’ on a piece of loose-leaf paper to turn it in and you’ll probably get an A. You live it every day, for Christ’s sake.”

“And yet I still need to cite sources in Chicago Advanced.”

“You’d think nepotism would work out more in your favor.” He flicked to a fresh article, a gesture Adam only recognized from all the other times Gansey had done it. “Luckily, I think the press is eating this one up.”

Adam grimaced. “Fantastic.”

“Not-campaign-ruining, you mean.”

“That too, I suppose.” He wanted nothing more than to flop back against his pillows and get the sleep his body so desperately craved after being jet lagged for a week, but he fought the urge.

“That _ People _exclusive takes the cake, I think. I didn’t realize how much you cherished your relationship with Ronan.”

“Fuck off, please. Or end my misery.”

“No to both. Why are you even taking that press course?”

Adam slid out from under his blankets, rolling his shoulders to try and wake up more. “Curiosity, I guess. It never hurts to learn more of what not to do.”

Gansey looked up from his phone to level a glance at Adam. “And what have you learned so far?”

“…Don’t have a sex scandal?”

“You _ would _need someone to tell you that.”

_ “Hey,” _Adam said, affecting outrage.

Gansey lifted his thumb to run over his lower lip, tilting his head consideringly. “One of us three will probably have a scandal before your mother’s second term is up.”

“If there is a second.”

“Chin up, young padawan. With you working on it we’re guaranteed.”

“I don’t know, Gansey,” Adam replied. “I don’t think I’m the good luck charm you believe in.”

“Of course you are,” Gansey said. “We won the first time, no?”

Adam glanced exaggeratedly around the room and to the phone in Gansey’s hand. “I’d say so. That or we’re about to get questioned very thoroughly about the the events of last three years.”

“Don’t make me cut you off on the true-crime videos.”

His eyes narrowed, focusing on Gansey. “Don’t you dare.”

“Blue agrees, anyway,” Gansey said, successfully deflecting topics. “Said there’s a ninety-four percent chance you’ll get into a sex scandal before the general.”

“Both of you date more than I do, why am I the one who’s supposedly having a sex scandal?” Once his initial outrage passed, disbelief crept in at the time of day. “Did you just text Blue at five AM and get a response? How the hell did you manage that?”

“She’s been up,” Gansey dismissed. Adam stared at him for a moment, and then Gansey seemed to feel the weight of his stare. His eyes widened almost comically. “Oh, Christ, no, not that. Nate Silver asked for another set of eyes on the Superbowl predictions, and she’s trying to get a shoo-in with them before the primaries begin. I just brought her some coffee.”

“And you didn’t bring me any?”

“You’re the only one of us who hasn’t been up all night. You need coffee the least of all of us.”

“Don’t blame me for your bad decisions.” Adam squinted at Gansey. “Were you working on an article all night or something?”

He snorted. “Hardly. They’ve been blocking all of my pieces. Too far from my mother’s politics, too far from your mother’s, too controversial, too critical, all in that order.”

“Thought you were liking the _ Post _gig?”

“On paper,” Gansey dismissed. “I’ve defaulted to writing about Welsh history.”

“Sounds like it’s right up your alley, then.”

“Once again, on paper.”

“How do you even connect the Welsh to the hellscape of American politics?”

Gansey waved a hand. “‘Eternal spirit,’ ‘fighting for honor,’ ‘remembering Glendower and others who set a pristine model,’ et cetera, et cetera.”

“People read that? That just sounds like you in high school spouting off again.”

“Yes, Adam. People read it.” Gansey squinted at his phone again. “Twitter _ really _likes you and Ronan together.”

“We’re exciting,” Adam said dryly, reaching for his laptop. He scanned over his most recent paper while Gansey dramatically narrated replies to the gif of them on _ This Morning. _

“‘Either of them could stab me and give me one of those smiles and I’d thank them,’ Jesus Christ,” Gansey read, “They really love your fake smiles… ‘name a more iconic duo, I’ll wait,’ hm, maybe any other duo? ‘Oh my God, just _ kiss already.’” _

Adam choked out a laugh as Gansey punctuated the last one with a dramatic and uncharacteristic hand wave. “At least it’s working,” he allowed, shutting his laptop once he felt secure about his essay. “Now get out. _ Some _of us have places to be.”

Adam’s phone buzzed on his way out of his cursed Presidency and the Press course.

Somehow, the interest of those around him seemed to pique even higher when he looked at his phone instead of in front of him. It wasn’t a new sensation by any means; ever since starting at Georgetown, he’d felt eyes on him constantly, but the intensity increased tenfold each time his classmates thought he was too occupied to see them staring. He noticed every time, but of course nothing could be done about it.

The name _ HRH shitty bird boy _ popped across his screen. How strange - in only a week, he’d almost entirely forgotten that the name he had (quite maturely) given Ronan in his phone was… _ that. _As he swiped the notification open, he felt a certain amount of trepidation as to what a technology-averse prince would ever text him about.

His harassment and emergency fears flew out the window with the body of the text, simply a screenshot of their tabloid appearance with the added caption of _ youre the nerd and I’m the cool jock. _

_ Competitive yachting? _Adam asked in response, nearly tripping over his own feet while typing.

_ ffs i told them to stop writing that as my preferred sport. _

Adam felt his lips twist against his will.

_ I’m sorry, this is a common problem? _

_ you can’t even imagine. _

_ I appreciate that they consider competitive yachting a regal sport. _

_ status symbols and faux athleticism are the core of the monarchy. _

Adam blinked down at his phone, stopping short abruptly. Persephone, from behind him, adjusted accordingly.

He…hadn’t been expecting this. Any of it. The text, the almost-joking response, the casual statement about the monarchy being ridiculous despite him being in it. Their conversation ended there, and it was probably for the better. He resumed his pace, trying to get to his next class. He almost forgot about the texts, too; save for a rogue screenshot Adam sent him of speculation on Ronan’s presence in Majorca, nothing else went between them.

Sometimes, Adam could _ just barely _ get away with being on his phone during briefings with Maura. He hated to be distracted during them - they were _ important, _he knew that, but all the same occasionally she spent a particularly long time covering an obscure dignitary’s comments and he’d gotten too few hours of sleep to truly focus and someone or other was blowing up his phone.

Maura’s topic of conversation this week appeared to be a series of Buzzfeed articles run on the lack of pets in the First Family, complete with a power point dissecting their points

The glamorous side of politics, truly. Discussing a clickbait series in the West Wing briefing room.

_ iMessage chat to _ ** HRH shitty bird boy **

_ Resumed 30 October, 2019, 1:47 pm _

_ if you want a pet chainsaw dragged in a mouse the other day _

_ Ah yes, the mouse. A pet eternally beloved by constituents. _

_ we can’t all have a raven, that would be unfair _

_ Your heights of cool and goth are truly dizzying. _

_ im glad you agree _

_ Modest, too. _

_ it comes with the wealth and fame _

_ As long as you’re being straight with me, feel free to be as ‘modest’ as you like. _

_ i’m the prince of bloody england. i’m straight all the damn time _

_ That’s the biggest lhxemxlp_

His phone slipped from between his fingers, landing with a dull _ thud _onto the wooden floor. Adam stared helplessly at it, a sleek black rectangle hiding between types of oak. But Maura repeated his name, and he suddenly remembered what had made him drop his phone in the first place. He dragged his eyes up, staring at a spot on the sterile white wall just beyond Maura’s head.

“Adam,” she said a third time, but he refused to look her in the eyes. She conceded immediately. “What the hell?”

He felt his cheeks darken as blood found its way up. “I’m sorry.”

Her lips thinned just like Blue’s did, turning into a dark line on her brown face. “Do you even remember what I was saying?”

“Er…” he scrambled. “Don’t mention animals in any public setting?”

She looked at him for a long moment, then picked up a mug of coffee and took a controlled sip.

“Get out?” she said once she’d swallowed her sip.

“I-”

She pointed to the door. “I am impossibly busy. Take your phone and go laugh in private.”

He nodded once, finally, ducking under the table with his spine pressed against the bottom to grab his phone. His fingers closed around it, grip the edge of the wood, and he was up in a second.

He couldn’t regret it.

Because - well, here was the weird thing.

He wanted another text from Ronan.

_ iMessage chat to _ ** HRH shitty bird boy **

_ Resumed 31 October, 2019, 12:03 am _

_ it’s finally spooky day in your hell country _

_ Isn’t it 5 am in England? _

_ Do you ever sleep? _

_ bold of you to ask that question _

_ halloween, bitch _

_ it waits for no one _

_ I’m really going to have to advocate better habits. _

_ I understand, you’re enthused for Halloween. _

_ do you even care at all _

_ I enjoy halloween like everyone else. _

_ Though your level of excitement feels a little pagan? _

when the skeleton army rises Jesus will forgive me

_ appreciate this glorious day parrish _

_ I have enough fear in my daily life, thanks. _

_ I filed my own taxes all throughout highschool. _

_ And payed rent. _

_ The horrors of early adulthood. _

_terrifying _

_ terrible i’ll never deal with that shit _

_ You’re the prince, we know. _

_ Do you also not have enough horror in your life? _

of course i do

_ but parrish. listen. _

_ this is the one day a year all the monarchy and parliament dress as they are in life _

_ hideous monsters _

He laughed a little harder at that than he should have.

_ You’re telling me the monarchy plays dress up. _

_ ronan_frankensteins_monser_costume.jpg _

_ matthew insisted. did this on me an hour ago _

_ oh my god _

The makeup _ was _really good, and the monstrous look suited him, but hell if Adam ever said that to him.

He may have saved it to his phone, though, to glimpse Ronan’s green-paint covered skin and crooked, drawn-on stitch smile on his perfectly blank face.

Although Adam certainly didn’t intend to make a habit of texting the Prince of England, when he saw a funny bird or a stupid article or an obscure meme his first thought became _I should send that to Ronan. _And Ronan, clearly, was thinking along the same lines. The sheer number of sole emojis that seemed to tell a Ronan-centric story he received at all hours only affirmed that. And somehow, between all the pictogramme and jokes, he started to learn snatches of information. Declan was a better storyteller than Ronan, Matthew was the only person who could make Ronan attend family dinners ever since their father died, and his mother - the Queen of England, Adam had to remind himself sometimes - drew further away every day.

The problem became that he always wanted to know _ more, _and Adam didn’t know if that was due to his rampant curiosity or something else buried deep inside of him, and he was too afraid of what he might uncover by digging to look.

Adam had very few friends.

Most of that came with the territory of being part of the First Family; nothing made casual acquaintances drift away quite like being constantly surveilled by Secret Service agents and trailed by NDAs. Adam didn’t have time for small talk and coffee, a fact which he sometimes lamented and often loved. Part of this came from the type of friendship he became accustomed to with Gansey and Blue, the all-encompassing type of friendship that took over their minds in spare moments and forged ties stronger than steel between them. He’d probably forgotten how to have normal, casual friends, not friends an outsider would think he was completely in love with. And, perhaps more than anything else, it came back down to Robert Parrish and his heavy hands and ringing words. Adam’s memories of his first few years were scattered and inconsistent, but they filled up a too-large corner of his brain all the same. Blue, who entered his life at the tender age of 5, had won his trust with greater ease than their other peers, and Gansey had done the same in high school. They knew him and what he’d been through, and so they could (platonically) love him for all that he was. When campaigning and political office came into the mix, that full truth of Adam Parrish became a secret to guard like any else.

But, oddly enough, Adam had a third friend: Noah Czerny, the thirty-three-year-old baby of the Senate.

Noah and Adam met through an Aglionby networking event while Adam was a student and Noah a recently-elected congressperson, both green as grass in different ways. Adam, thrown neck-deep into a Presidential campaign, had questions, and most of the time Noah had answers. Although all of the professors had warned Adam to proceed cautiously with Czerny, Adam found nothing to fear. Noah had mellowed out quite a bit from his high school days, becoming a familiar face at political events and a surprisingly-wise piece of advice always at the ready. Despite Adam’s near hero-worship of this brand-new politician, half-Mexican just like him and just as frequent to lose sleep rewriting policies that unjustly taxed communities of color or defunded children’s education, they’d formed an improbable bond. The summer before his sophomore year, Noah let Adam closer to the politics process than even his mother had as he ran for the Senate, and Adam took to it almost at once. A politician twelve years his senior was perhaps not a conventional choice of friend, but Adam seldom remained conventional.

It wasn’t too out of the ordinary for Adam to arrive at Noah’s congressional office unannounced, either with business or without, and so when Adam rounded on Noah’s stark, bright, white office, he wasn’t at all surprised to see him ducked over an obscene number of papers.

“It’s Friday night,” Noah said without looking up, barely before Adam had even crossed into the office. As always, the tiny burst of color in the Pride flag deposited in a tourist mug drew Adam’s eye for a long moment before Noah himself did. All Adam could see of him was his brown curls, resolutely held in place even as bent over a desk. “Go party or something.”

“Damn, I didn’t _ think _ this looked like a frat. I knew something was off.” Adam slid into one of the seats across the desk. He had several inches on Noah, but he always felt smaller in those chairs across from the most important legislators in the country. “What’s got you here at eight PM?” Off of Noah’s brief, incredulous look, he amended to _ “this _particular time, I know. You’re salaried. Shouldn’t you…ever go home?”

“I’m trying to get something done so that there’s at least a hope of banning fracking in our lifetimes.”

Adam scoffed quietly, though not for lack of faith in Noah. “Let me know when you’ve cracked the code.”

_ “If, _but sure, I’ll be in contact. Now, why are you here?”

“You didn’t answer my leaving-the-building question.”

Noah’s eyes flickered shut briefly. “Jesus, Adam, I am salaried by the taxpayers of millions of Americans. I’m not going to slack on them.”

“Fine, but don’t make me drag Gansey in here to make you take a long nap and drink some hot soup.”

Adam’s phone buzzed, but he ignored it; despite it being almost 1 am in England, Ronan could presumably take the blame. Noah asked, “Did you catch the Fox town hall last night?”

Adam grimaced. He’d seen part of it, trying to multitask with his macroeconomics homework at the same time, but instead he’d fallen asleep with his head on the laptop screen. “Part of it. It was a shitshow.”

“You can say that again.”

“I honestly thought that Whelk would pull more support from the extremists. He just seemed desperate last night.”

“Oh, he definitely was.” Noah leaned away from his desk, appraising Adam as though considering his words carefully. “We went to school together.”

“Aglionby?” Adam asked. He knit his eyebrows together. “How did I not realize he went there?”

“The school doesn’t exactly love toting him.”

“He’s older than you, though, right?”

“Yes, Adam,” Noah said slowly. “I’m thirty-three. He’s already announced a bid for President. How old do you have to be to run for executive office?”

Adam scowled. “I just came from class, I can’t use my brain. He was a senior when you were a freshman?”

“Yep,” Noah replied. “We were paired in upperclassmen-lowerclassmen bonding.” His lip curled a little. “He outed me.”

“Wait, _ what?” _

“He outed me to the school,” Noah repeated. He looked back down to the papers on his desk, his voice softening to a barely audible level. “I trusted him, which was a dumb thing to do, but I was a really stupid freshman. Scared, too. He was a friendly personality.”

_ “Fuck,” _Adam said, pushing a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, that’s…”

“Terrible?” A bit of Noah’s life returned to him. “Don’t worry about it, kid. It was years ago.”

“But then…Whelk, he was the reason you…?”

“He didn’t make my parents react the way they did. They did that on their own. But no, they wouldn’t have known without him.”

Adam shook his head. “I thought it wasn’t possible to like the guy less, if only because of his politics, but he’s done it.”

“Done what? Received the full wrath of Adam Parrish?”

“He very well may.”

“Don’t worry about him. Whelk will be out soon, believe me. I know him. He may have his parent’s money, but he’s barely old enough to hold office and he’s running on fumes.”

“If he’s not, I’ll convince Blue to skew stats until he is.” Noah knew just as well as Adam that that wouldn’t change anything, but it lightened the air anyway. “It seems kind of pointless to entertain any of them. Greenmantle is probably going to win no matter what.”

Colin Greenmantle: former antique collector, congressperson from Massachusetts, and millionaire with the funds to take over the Republican primary, and very possibly the whole election, before any papers were even filed.

“It’s early,” Noah said. “Too early to worry about it. Too early to even be _ talking _ about it.”

Adam slanted a half-smile at him. “Never too early to worry about an election.”

Noah looked back to his papers before broaching the next topic. “I hear you’ve got a job on your mother’s re-election campaign.”

“Once I graduate, and maybe a little earlier, yeah.”

Noah cast a glance around the office. “Are you sure this is the life you want?”

Adam knew he was referring to the constant bustle, the fear of disappointing and harming instead of helping, and the ever-evolving media scrutiny. He knew it was the closest Noah would give to a warning. “I’m sure.”

Noah sighed. “Fine.” He pointed to the door. “But I won’t let you throw your youth away, not this early. After you graduate, Parrish. Go get drunk and make out with someone.”

Adam stood, his frame unfolding and standing tall. “You are a terrible role model.”

“Can’t hear you over the loud music.”

“You and Blue and Gansey - if I die of alcohol poisoning, it’s all your fault.”

“Feel free to blame, so long as you’re out there and not here.”

“Alright, alright, Jesus. You’ve made your point.”

“Finally,” Noah called after Adam’s retreating form. But Adam could hear the amusement in his voice all the same.

For someone so allergic and averse to technology, Ronan sure seemed to share a lot with Adam.

_ iMessage chat to _ ** HRH shitty bird boy **

_ Resumed 13 Novemeber, 2019, 8:38 pm _

_ bird.m4a _

_ she wont stop nuzzling my head?? _

_ Picking for lice, probably. _

_ God knows you have so many. _

_ my scalp is perfectly clean _

_ Forgive me for abstaining from running my hands over it all the same. _

_ I’ll leave that to her. _

He didn’t always respond, though.

Adam tried not to read into it.

(He mostly succeeded.)

Adam never tired of stepping into the Oval Office. On the Wednesday right before Thanksgiving, he stepped in with the same amount of awe he always had, allowing himself a single moment to glance around at the wide windows and perfectly upholstered furniture. He sat on one of the couches without preamble.

His mother looked up from what was in front of her on the desk and smiled, albeit a tired one that frayed a bit at the corners; Adam had seen a few particularly troublesome foreign dignitaries be escorted away not long before, so he didn’t have to guess at the reason. Ana looked like she belonged to sit right there amongst all the history at that desk, from the sun dipping just beneath her halo of hair straightened within an inch of its life and her stick-straight posture. It might have been a lot at times, but seeing her was a reminder of all the good that came from her position.

She rose and walked to join him, her heels clacking lightly at the ground before she sank onto the cushion beside him and pulled him into a loose hug. Adam had overtaken Ana in height some years before, but there had been a long gap in there as he grew - like one day he was three and a half feet tall and wrapped tightly in her arms and the next he was off to Georgetown and several heads taller. She pulled away after a minute, slowly and bit-by-bit as though savoring her moments as a mother rather than a president. Her hand reached to muss his hair a moment later, and Adam ducked away instinctively before exchanging an identical grin with her.

“God, I forgot how light your hair looks in here,” she said, leaning back a little. “Almost golden.” She tilted her head as though examining him. “Nah. Still brown. But much lighter.”

“How could you forget? The photo here was in _ GQ, _the same article that first declared me the family golden boy.” At the corner of their conversation was the knowledge of where he’d inherited that hair color, as it sure as hell wasn’t from Ana. But he let the thought stay buried, patting the dirt back down with the shovel himself. Their relationship always had an absence in it, and he didn’t particularly feel like deepening it in the Oval Office.

“Ah, so that’s the one I have to blame for your big head,” she responded, reaching for a piece of fruit from the little coffee table. It was a familiar half-jest, borne from Adam’s constant contradicting confidence and imposter syndrome. Idiosyncrasies were just Adam’s style, never one to make things easy for himself. He sometimes wondered if so much of himself conflicted because he tried to walk the middle road so often, balancing his weight over all sides to minimize the damage if the rug was yanked from beneath him, like lying down on a bed of nails: a thousand tiny, dull pains over one sharp, potentially fatal puncture. She smiled again. “Is Noah doing well?”

“For Noah he is. He would barely look up from some new reports on fracking, seems hopeful he’ll be able to garner enough support.”

Ana snorted. “Good luck with that. I’ll be shocked if it reaches the floor for debate.”

��That makes three of us, then.” He nodded towards the desk. “Bad meeting?”

The frown lines on her face deepened. “Don’t get me started,” she drawled, falling back fully against the cushions. After only a moment, she _ did _ get started regardless of what Adam did or didn’t do. “We received the memo a few days ago that a delegation from Sweden wanted to be in contact, right? Fairly standard stuff, Maura gets back to them quickly because they worded it like it was an urgent matter, and there’s a back and forth for a while about scheduling and accommodations. We’re of the belief they won’t be out here until Monday at the earliest.”

Adam knit his eyebrows together. “It’s not Monday.”

“You fuckin’ tell me. Anyway, I’m halfway through a meeting with a few UN representatives when Maura has to interrupt. They arrived at the White House, claimed they had a meeting, and just…didn’t leave. Evan Maura couldn’t get through to them, which is the thing that scared me a little.”

“You should have put Calla on it.”

“Believe me, if she were here, I would’ve. But as it was, I had to hurry out the UN members to deal with decidedly more antagonistic foreign relations.”

“Why were they even here?”

“They wanted to discuss the military relationship between our countries-”

“What the hell?”

“Yeah, I don’t know,” she said, waving one hand in dismissal. “Any points they were trying to make went straight out the window when they started pulling out cue cards, to be honest. I might have to call Löfven to smooth things over.”

“Well, there’s never a dull moment,” Adam said fairly. His mother snorted.

“Sure isn’t. Anyway,” she said, glancing at her watch, “it’s now Thanksgiving, so no more meetings for twenty-four hours.”

“It’s Wednesday.”

She pulled a face in dismissal. “We take our patriotism seriously, darlin’. Don’t want our home state gettin’ too mad.”

“Of course.”

Ana checked her watch again. “The turkeys will be on their way to the Willard by now, so we’re not ruining any American traditions today.”

“Wait,” Adam said. “Where?”

She looked at him, her eyes narrowing. “The Willard. They stay there every year.”

“What? No. _ No. _You cannot give the turkeys five-star accommodations with taxpayer dollars. You’ve been doing this every year?!”

“It’s public knowledge, sugar. Every news outlet mentions it.”

“How did I not-” Adam cut off. “There is no way you can do that! They’re turkeys! It’s a waste!”

“It’s precedent, Adam. I’m not sure if there’s anything to be done at this point.”

Adam stood quickly, pacing back and forth, and his mother stood behind him. “It’s a _ blatant _waste of money, I’m shocked we haven’t already been-”

“Hon, every president so far has done the same-”

“Imagine the story if we broke the tradition! Even conservatives would have to applaud your frugality-”

“We can’t play games with tradition, you know they already call us disrespectful-”

“-we can’t be using _ taxpayer money-” _

“-by all means, if you have the time to find lodging for two forty-pound turkeys-”

“Put them in my room!” Adam blurted. His mother stopped short.

“You’re not serious,” she said. “We’re not putting the turkeys for me to pardon in your bedroom.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Adam-”

He shifted his feet, coming to a stop. He lifted himself up to his full height. Debate Captain Adam, six-time Best Delegate Adam, and First Son Adam converged into one. His mother barely looked phased.

“Oh, God,” his mother said. “I can’t listen to another sales pitch.”

“Madame President,” Adam began, “I’d like to echo the sentiments of the forebears before me-”

“Nope,” she said, making double-time back to her desk. “You’re not going to filibuster me.”

“In 2018 alone, at least forty-three articles in the Wall Street Journal accused the sitting administration of wasting tax dollars. This came on the heels of a tax increase for Americans making more than ten million dollars per year and the subsequent pushback from a more conservative electorate in Congress.”

“Fine!” Ana said, her hand falling to the desk with a thump. She brought it back up to her head to massage her temple a moment later. “I’m too tired to hear my own history read back at me. You win.”

He sat back down on the couch, crossing his legs primly. “Perfect,” he said, allowing himself to smile once again.

[flamehairedwritings]

Hopper Comforting You After A Break-Up

Probably a year ago, maybe two years ago (yikes), @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash got an ask from someone asking about what Hopper would do if you were going through a break-up, I believe. She so kindly, because she’s an absolute sweetheart of a human being (thank you so much, lovely!!), tagged me in it to possibly write and I said I would! ... And here we are a year or so later.

Again! Apologies to all for the delay! 

—

Hopper’s had his heart broken many times.

Sure, his actions were usually the main cause of it but it didn’t mean it hurt any less.

He doesn’t love or care for many people, so when he does, he loves and cares for them fiercely.

You haven’t known each other long but you already fall under that category.

He could sense your relationship was coming to an end, knew you secretly did, too, with the way you talked about it.

It was still a shock when it came, though, and you had called him, barely able to get your words out as you cried.

He’d gently cut you off, telling you he was on his way over. If he’s working, he’ll get someone to cover his shift, say to only call him if there’s an emergency.

You open the door to him, teary eyed, cheeks wet, sniffing, and he’ll step in and wrap his arms around you. You dissolve all over again, and his heart breaks another time.

He hadn’t wanted to comment on your relationship, it’s a shitty thing to do unless someone asks, but, fuck, he’d had to bite his tongue several times.

There had been nothing majorly wrong with your partner, they just weren’t good enough for you. Well, no one would be good enough for you, in his opinion, but they certainly hadn’t been.

If it did end badly, though, he’ll have to use all his self-restraint to stop himself from going over to their place and giving them a piece of his mind.

He guides you to the couch, sits you down and keeps his arms around, letting you get it all out.

‘I know, I know...’, he’ll murmur every few moments, stroking your back and rocking you a little.

When you’ve cried all you can, he’ll want to make sure you’ve had something to drink (he won’t frown if you say yes and just mean alcohol), something to eat, and if you have the rest of the day free.

He’ll then just start looking after you, getting you a drink, making you food, making sure you stay on the couch and putting the TV on for you.

If it’s cold he’ll wrap a blanket around you, tucking you in tight.

He’ll sit and eat with you as you quietly watch whatever show’s on.

After some time, when you’re looking at the screen but not taking it in, he’ll quietly ask how you’re doing.

You’ll shrug, giving a small smile. ‘Okay. Just... Can you stay a bit longer?’

He will, absolutely.

You’ll talk about the relationship, needing to have some kind of closure in identifying what went wrong, what went right, how you felt.

He’ll offer to stay the night, but you’ll say no, not wanting to take up anymore of his time. You’ll be more insistent than him, not wanting to be a burden, so he’ll go.

When he’s home, though, he’ll call you five minutes later, to check up on you, and you’ll try to hide how relieved you are that he has.

You’ll talk for a few more hours, about anything and everything, until you’re lying on your bed, he on his couch, and he can hear how tired you are, the silences between your words getting a little longer.

He’ll stay on until you fall asleep, then he’ll finally hang up.

For the next week, he’ll see you every day, either for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, or when you’re on your break, distracting you, seeing how you are, keeping your spirits up. He’ll even stay over a couple of times, when your mood dips low and you won’t really talk.

He’ll be there for you when you need it, no matter what, no matter the time of day.

And, one day, you’re smiling easier, laughing easier, and the spring has returned to your step.

He’ll give you some more time, though. Let a little more time pass before he gathers his courage and asks you out to dinner. And not just as a friend.

—

Reblogs and comments make my day in a way I can’t describe.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged or removed in my future work!

Masterlist

Tagged: @herb-welch, @pascalispedro @davidkharboursex, @jobean12-blog, @warmbeardsandredwine, @mademoiselle-black, @scrunchinn, @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash, @divadinag, @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan, @deepsouth, @neganslittlebae, @ashphoenix105, @alahmorah, @daughterofthebrowncoats, @letsby, @tbkc, @kiwiphroot, @ashmely, @sistasarah-sallysaidso, @unicornsandgliiitter, @lucifer-in-leather,  @heyjudeinthesky, @sleepylunarwolf, @ambeazyyy, @countryfire22, @sithlordslut, @mondsafari, @thejealousorchard, @norcula, @earinafae, @beltzboys2015-blog, @jinxiejenna, @justsimplevicky, @hellosupernaturaldoctor, @ginasellsbooks, @dwarvenbunnyears, @vale0413, @mrslydiaholden, @kimberliinabox, @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly, @allylupin, @cant-shake-this-feeling-off, @the-bitch-gotham-deserves, @warriorqueen1991, @thesurestthing, @zuni21798,  @quietlovelovely, @maddieisaboredable, @windinyoursnail, @happy-hopper, @yedi16, @negansdirtygirl22, @slipperywhenwetsstuff, @my-rosegold-soul @madkskillz, @im-not-great-at-making-up-names, @sergeantangel, @bitchinsinclair, @dewy-biitch, @focusonspn, @wearethebrokenones, @sarcasm-is-my-native-tounge, @thatprettymvthafvcka, @pulplorrd, @gifsbysimplysonia, @notsomellowmushroom

Apologies to those Tumblr won’t let me tag!

[dvp95]

quiet on widow’s peak (10)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 2.8k (this chapter), 32.4k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

They try everything. Sophie handles the cameras and phones while Phil and Chris spend way too long cleaning up files on their laptops and doing what they can to get any clear images out of the mess. It's no use. By the time PJ returns from driving Dan home, all they've accomplished is figuring out that the corruption is on their devices, not on the exported files. No matter what they do, the videos and pictures they took have the effect of being scrambled, like someone has pressed fast forward and also put a noise filter over them. The sound is no better - there's a high-pitched sort of ringing in all of the video and audio recordings that Phil can't understand the source of. Some files won't open altogether.

"How does this even happen?" Sophie mutters, bent over Chris' phone with a furrowed brow. "There's nothing left. Like, at all."

"We still have footage from the first night," says Phil. He's trying his very best to stay positive, but this is unbelievably frustrating. They experienced something last night, even if they can't agree on what it was, and they're supposed to start driving back to Brighton before it gets too dark. They don't have time for this. "With the shadow, you know."

His friends make grunts of irritated agreement. Phil knows that all of them are disappointed and a little angry about the lack of evidence for their hellish night, almost like they went through it for nothing, but he doesn't have anything comforting to say.

Phil has never been very good at comfort. He's good at distracting people and forcing optimism, but seeing such visceral emotions from his usually mild housemates makes him want to retreat into himself. He takes his glasses off to rub at his eyes, fighting off a budding headache.

"That's not really enough for a video, though, is it," says PJ. "I mean, you're not going to convince anyone with just a shadow."

"Well, we can't stay to try and get more," Chris says with a little huff.

"I can," Phil points out. He doesn't think he wants to, really, because this whole situation skeeves him out and going back alone would not help, but he needs there to be a purpose to his friends' suffering or he'll never forgive himself. He stares at his unfocused laptop screen, full of files that don't work, and wonders if they're going to bother to try and stop him. "I mean, you guys all have work tomorrow. I don't have anywhere to be. And I kind of want to see this through, so I can, like… take the train home when it's done."

There's a moment of quiet. Phil feels his shoulders tense at the possibility that he's going to have to argue his way into this. It's his job. Plus, he already knows his parents are going to have a problem with him staying longer to investigate, and fighting with yet another set of well-meaning people is more than he wants to do.

"Normally I'd be like, whatever," says PJ. "You know what you're doing and you do this sort of shit alone all the time. But, Phil, how the fuck do you think the paralysis will work if you're by yourself?"

"I won't try to sleep there," Phil decides, shoving his glasses back onto his face. "That's the only time it's happened, right? When people are already falling asleep?"

PJ's mouth twists unhappily, but he doesn't protest further. Phil wonders if he's actually won this argument or if PJ is just too tired from bickering with Dan about cryptids, or whatever they talked about on the drive. Thinking about Dan is a distraction, and not exactly a welcome one. Phil doesn't know how he feels - or even if he should be feeling anything at all - and he doesn't want to add that crisis on top of the one he's already dealing with.

"So you're just going to go there," says Chris. "Alone. And then poke around and go home?"

"That's what I do in most haunts."

"Fair play. Carry on."

It's almost funny how quickly PJ's expression nosedives into aghast. "What? That's it? You're not putting up more of a fight?"

"Why bother?" Chris asks with a little shrug. "He's a stubborn bellend."

"Hey," Phil half-heartedly protests. His friends don't deign to acknowledge it.

"You should bring a sigil with you," says Sophie. Her voice is soft and tired, but her eyes are kind in a way that PJ and Chris don't bother to be. "Why don't you bring something down that you'd have on you, and we'll all put something on it?"

"Really?" Chris asks. It's impossible to tell what he's thinking. Phil doesn't know if he thinks the idea is good or stupid, but he nods after Sophie does. "Alright, we can do that."

PJ is looking off into the distance while cogs seem to turn in his head. "Something you'll have physically on you, Philly, since we can't put it on your skin itself. Let us draw on your glasses or jacket or -"

"Knickers," Chris chimes in.

"Or your knickers," PJ agrees, far more solemnly than Phil thinks is necessary.

It doesn't seem like it'll actually help, but Phil feels so much affection and gratitude for his friends wanting to protect him in any way they can that he doesn't argue.

Phil doesn't really like the idea of going to the Wilkins place alone, either, but he's a lot more comfortable doing that than dragging his innocent friends along for the awful ride again. He thinks about Sophie's kind eyes staring up at the ceiling blankly, the way PJ gasped when he woke up, Chris trying to hide his own concern about the situation, and he feels his resolve stiffen even more.

Maybe he is a stubborn bellend. This is his responsibility, though. It's not right for him to keep asking for help. Phil lets the conversation flow to what snacks they're going to get for the drive and thinks about how he's going to break the situation to his parents.

--

It doesn't feel as satisfying to shut the door of his childhood bedroom, now. Maybe it's the fact that he's too mature to slam it, or maybe it's that the room itself isn't the haven it used to be. All the neutral colours and boring pieces of art are like a constant visual reminder that his life isn't here anymore.

He doesn't want it to be here. That isn't the problem. It feels stupid if he thinks about it for too long, but he grew up in this house. He's got scars from the sharp corners of the old furniture and more memories than he has in any other singular location. Sure, it makes sense that his parents are retiring and want to downsize from a big, empty house, but Phil really isn't comfortable with this level of change. He kind of assumed he'd always be able to come visit and feel at home again.

Phil sinks onto the mattress. For a long moment, he seriously considers going to sleep. It's barely past seven, but he didn't sleep well this morning. At least if he's unconscious he doesn't need to deal with the crushing weight of his parents' disappointment and worry.

The decision is made for him when his phone buzzes with a notification from Tumblr.

tell ur parents thanks for letting me stay and tell pj thanks for bringing me home and tell urself thanks for the uhhhh experience lmao its deffo not one im gonna forget anytime soon

Phil huffs a laugh and gets comfortable. You're very welcome. I'll tell them when I come out of hiding.

arent you in a very small car on your way to brighton mate… how tf do you manage to hide in there when youre huge

Oh I'm not in the car, I'm still at my parents' place. It's a long story and I hate typing a bunch on my phone. Phil grimaces at himself for the way that sounds, like he's cutting off any questions Dan might have before they ask. He sends another message. Voice call me on Skype or something if you wanna hear about my no good, very bad day.

He doesn't expect Dan to actually call him, let alone immediately, but Phil's phone starts buzzing with a Skype call before he's collected himself enough to find his headphones. He's still detangling while he answers with a sheepish, "Oh, hello!"

"Hi," says Dan. Their voice is low and amused, and Phil can't believe how nice it is to hear after only a handful of hours.

"I'm woefully unprepared, as per usual," Phil rambles, finally getting his headphones in and grinning at the bland wall in front of him. Nobody is here to judge him for it. "You, er, got home alright?"

"Obviously yes," says Dan. "So, you had a bad day?"

"'Cause you had a bad day," Phil sings back to them. The sound of Dan's giggle makes any embarrassment worth it, he thinks. "Yeah, uh, it was rough. So we wanted to look over the footage from last night to see what the camera caught, y'know, but… I don't know how, I don't have an explanation for it, but everything is corrupted. Our audio, our video, our photos. They're all beyond repair."

There's a few moments of silence, where Phil would think Skype had frozen if he couldn't still hear the faint music on Dan's end. Then, "What? You - what? We don't have anything?"

Phil likes the sound of 'we'. He probably shouldn't.

"We tried everything," Phil explains, his heart feeling heavy all over again at the reminder that they spent hours terrified for nothing. "But the corruption isn't even in the exported files, it's on our devices themselves. Chris' phone, our cameras… they're all fucked."

"If you're swearing, it must be fucking serious," says Dan. Phil wants to interrupt then, explain that his policy on bleeping out curses is more about staying monetized and keeping his parents happy than any personal morals, but Dan has already shot past the topic at the speed of light. "So basically we've got no proof we were ever there, let alone that something weird happened - which I'm not saying is some kind of fucking paranormal shit, by the way, but it was weird - and now you've got nothing to make a video with and I never should have told you about this place to begin with?"

"Dan, breathe." Phil waits until he's sure that Dan is at least trying to follow the directive. "It's okay. I'm glad you brought me here. And that's why I'm still in town - I'm going to get more footage."

"Not alone, you're not," Dan says fiercely.

"Peej and the other Scoobs already went home. I just didn't go with them."

"I don't care where your friends are," says Dan. Phil can almost see their hand waving dismissively. "You're not going back there alone. End of story."

The clear insistence in Dan's voice should be getting Phil's back up against the wall. He hates being told what to do with his own projects, needs to be in complete control whenever possible. Instead, he finds himself thinking that it's sweet of Dan to worry like that.

Christ, but he's got it bad.

"I'm still in town either way," Phil says, picking at a loose thread in his sleeve absent-mindedly. "Which my parents are, uh, not thrilled about."

"Really?" Dan sounds genuinely surprised. "They seem like they really love you, mate."

Love has never been the issue. That feels strange to think, cocky almost, but Phil has never really worried that his parents won't love him. Even with the secrets he keeps from them and their fears about the way he lives his life, the worst he's ever expected is disappointment. That just isn't the way their relationship works.

"Oh, they do," says Phil. "But they hate my job, and they think that it's stupid of me to keep investigating a place that clearly doesn't want to be investigated. They believe in ghosts and demons and all that jazz, y'know, they think I'm inviting evil into my life, so they said they'd let me stay here while I work but that we're going to have a 'serious discussion' about my life trajectory when I'm done."

"Ouch. I'd hate that conversation."

"Trust me, it's going to suck. I just got the preview today, and I already know I'm going to want to run away to Iceland."

There's a beat. Then, Dan says, "At least when you're there you can look into the hidden people. You know, the Icelandic elves or whatever that live in a parallel world. That seems up your alley."

"Your mum lives in a parallel world," Phil mutters.

Dan giggles. The sound of it is soft, like they're aware of their own volume, and Phil remembers that Dan lives in some kind of housing with a bunch of other students. He still loves the sound, so much so that he drifts into a nonsensical daydream of making Dan laugh as much as possible and almost misses Dan's voice coming through his headphones again.

"Since you're still in town," Dan is saying, and Phil makes a conscious effort to tune back in, "you should come by the shop tomorrow. I have an early class, but I'm starting work at eleven."

The prospect of seeing Dan again is such a good one that Phil doesn't even hesitate before he's agreeing. It'll be a bit of an effort to get out of bed early enough to avoid his parents and catch Dan for a good amount of time, but Phil feels like it's definitely going to be worth it. He likes Dan, likes being around them if absolutely nothing else, and the ill-advised butterflies in his stomach aren't enough to make him fall on the side of finding this a bad idea.

It isn't until after he's hung up and getting himself a sandwich so he doesn't have to eat an awkward dinner with his parents that Phil realises he's going to have Dan all to himself tomorrow. Well, to himself and to whatever patrons come into the coffee shop. The force of those warm eyes, just focused on him… it's going to test Phil in a way he's not sure he's ready for.

He turns away from the fridge and almost jumps out of his skin.

"Mum," he complains, free hand clutched to his chest. "Don't just stand there, you scared me!"

A smile tugs at Kath's lips, but her arms are crossed and her eyes are staring into Phil's very soul. He feels cornered all of a sudden, like he ought to be clawing for escape.

"Philip," she says, all warmth. There's that slight edge that he remembers so clearly from mishaps as a child, but for the most part it seems like she isn't here to lecture him. He imagines that's going to come from both of them. "This thing that you insist on doing… it's dangerous. You must know that, love."

Phil doesn't actually know that. For the most part, his career hasn't given him anything but boredom and a complex about his own creativity. It's just the odd cases, the ones like the Wilkins house, that get him squirrelly.

"I know, mum," he says anyway. It isn't worth the argument. "But this is my job."

"It doesn't need to be," she presses, and Phil realises that his assumption was very, very wrong. They're going to divide and conquer. She continues like she hasn't noticed the way his whole body is tensing up. "You have such a wonderful mind and loads of ambition, my dear. And that imagination! Gosh, you could do anything that you set your mind to."

Anything he set his mind to - if he actually tried. Phil can hear the words that she isn't saying, that his dad will have no trouble voicing later, and he feels the familiar burn in his throat like he's going to start crying.

He won't. He doesn't cry much, as a rule, but he's well-acquainted with the sensation of holding it back.

"I know that I can," says Phil quietly. He looks down at his sandwich. He isn't very hungry anymore. "Mum, I'm not - I don't do this because I - you know, I like my job."

That's not exactly the truth anymore, but Phil is also well-acquainted with the art of lying to his mother. She doesn't need to know about the doubts that plague Phil, the way that he's felt like he's slogging through videos until they catch his interest properly. That's something he can figure out on his own. He forces his eyes back up at her to drive the point home with a sincere, pleading sort of look.

Her mouth twists, unhappily this time.

"You need to grow up sometime, Phil," she says, so soft that it almost cushions the devastating blow of her words.

Almost.

[blxxdsweatntears]

I want to request a drabble where tae is with his s/o watching the nightsky and the moment is very romantic and she confesses him. I want some fluff and happy momemts

im so mad i was almost done writing this and tumblr erased all my progress so here’s round 2😔✊🏽 sorry this turned out quite long for a drabble but i have a Lot Of Feelings™️

-

-

-

You wholeheartedly expected Taehyung to say no. To tell you to try to sleep. Instead he told you to get dressed, and that he would be in front of your house in 15 minutes. It was 1:54 am, and the raspiness of his voice when you called told you he was very tired, if not asleep.

15 minutes later, there he was. Dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, he was there for you. He knew you were struggling recently and would always come when you called, knowing how hard it was for you to admit you needed help.

You smiled at him and he smiled back, watching you step out of your building. He did a dramatic bow, “Greetings, Madame y/n, any requests for a specific location this evening?” you rolled your eyes at his theatrics as you walked up to him to give him a quick hug.

“Just away. I want to look at the stars.” you said simply, and he nodded before releasing you from the hug. Soon enough, the two of you were off to his abandoned place of choice.

Taehyung drove you a little ways out of the city. You could see the scattered lights of the city if you looked behind you, and you smiled a little. You listened to the sound of the truck driving over the gravelly road, inhaling the smell of the fields surrounding you as your hair whipped around in the wind due to the windows being down. You looked up at the sight of the stars above you, brighter now that the lights weren’t polluting the sky. Then you looked at Taehyung next to you, one hand on the wheel and the other intertwined with your fingers. He wore a beanie, probably to disguise his bedhead but he looked ethereal nonetheless, even in the darkness.

He glanced at you quickly before grinning slightly and turned his eyes back to the road, pulling into a small area to park. He turned his truck off and unbuckled his seat belt, taking his hand back from you. You did the same and hopped out of the truck. You walked towards the back, going to meet him halfway. He opened the back door first, but you couldn’t exactly see why until you saw the blankets and pillows in his arms. You could barely see his face. You grinned.

He tossed the blankets in the back and hopped up into the bed of the truck, quickly laying them out and offering you his hand to help you into the bed. You accepted, and quickly got comfortable in a close cuddle. You nuzzled your face into his chest, your arm wrapping around him in a hug. His opposite arm came to rest over yours, his thumb rubbing back and forth on your tricep.

It was quiet and peaceful for a few moments, you listening to the steady sounds of Taehyung’s breathing, his strong heartbeat a lullaby to your ears.

You felt more than you heard him chuckle beneath you. “I thought you wanted to watch the stars, not my chest, hun.”

He couldn’t see your face but you were positive you were blushing. You huffed and turned so you too, were laying on your back, your head laying on his left arm, body still facing him with your legs over his.

“Well pardon me, Mr. Comfy Pillow. You’re nice to lay on.” you retorted, gazing up at the sky nonetheless. He snickered but said nothing else.

It was peaceful. The two of you layed there for a while, pointing out the occasional shooting star or presumed planet (neither of you knew too much about astronomy). Taehyung did point out the three constellations he knew, though, following the patterns with his finger.

The two of you went back and forth, talking, making jokes under the night sky. During one particular laughing fit you opened your eyes to find him staring at you, his eyes seemingly replaced by stars, they were twinkling so much. You blushed slightly, “What’s that look for, Tae?” you asked shyly. Your heart raced. Were you finally going to tell him?

He didn’t respond, he just kept staring at you. Your heart beat harder. You saw his eyes trace over your face, taking in every feature. You’re sure you were blushing heavily by now. “Tae?” you managed to squeak out under his intense gaze. You watched his eyes flicker to your lips, lingering there for a few moments before meeting you eyes.

“y/n.”

You gasped slightly as he moved forward, his forehead gently resting against yours. His eyes left yours to focus on your lips once more as you gasped. You were positive your heart was going to beat out of your chest now.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered.

Your eyes went wide, looking into his for any sign of a joke, to find anything to see that he wasn’t serious. Was he? The passionate look in his dark brown eyes told you he was indeed, very serious.

You nodded, and your eyelids fluttered closed as he moved closer, his warm breath brushing against your lips before meeting them softly.

Soft. So soft. His lips were so soft. Your heart was pounding and you were dizzy with affection and overwhelmed with the feeling that Taehyung was currently kissing you.

His lips moved against yours softly, carefully, his other hand coming up to hold the side of your neck, his thumb brushing your cheek affectionately. You felt your eyes grow hot with tears. He was being so sweet. Taehyung was always so sweet. The most ideal best friend, your closest confidant. But those were the forsaken words. Best friend. Did he really share your feelings?

You felt him pull back, and when you opened your eyes you saw surprise on his beautiful features. His thumb swiped at a tear on your cheek and he turned towards you completely, both of you laying on your sides.

“Hey, darling what’s wrong? Did you not want me to kiss you? You could have stopped me, you-“ “Tae, it’s not you, it’s okay. It’s me.” you interjected, stopping him from feeling guilty. Your throat closed up at your growing emotions. More tears fell down your cheeks which he quickly wiped away, growing more concerned. “What’s wrong?” he questioned again, his tone soft and patient.

You let out a small sob. He was still being so considerate. Your mind raced, with thoughts that he could never love you the way you loved him, and another half of your mind fighting and saying he was here now, he’s always been there, when he never owed you anything, he always chose you. Your thoughts grew chaotic so you took a deep breath and hugged him, burying your face into his chest and gripping his hoodie before you spoke. He immediately held you close, rubbing your back and holding your head gently.

“Tae..” you rasped, the emotion clear in your voice. “I wish I could look at you as I say this but I’m too scared.. Yet I can’t keep it in anymore. Tae, I love you. More than friend love. I love you like I want to wake up to your dorky snores every morning with Tannie at the end of our bed sleeping at our feet. I want to cook your favorite food and watch you eat enthusiastically with the stars in your eyes. I want to kiss your soft fucking lips whenever I want, I want to be the only one they kiss, I want-“

Your rant was cut short by him pulling you back slightly and pressing his lips to yours, not as gentle as the first time. It was full of passion, purpose, and emotion. One hand held your face, the other pulling you closer to him. He kissed you hard, trying to convey his emotions through actions. You tasted his salty tears when they slipped into your kiss, snapping you out of your trance.

“Tae? You’re crying?” you asked, slightly panicked. You immediately wiped them away with your thumb. A million thoughts went through your mind before he laughed lightly.

“God, who would’ve thought you were going to confess first, you dork. I.. I love you too.” Your eyes widened at his declaration. He continued.

“I want my lips to be the only lips you kiss, I want your cooking to be the only cooking I come home to... Besides Jin’s because let’s be real, man can cook.” You snorted and slapped his chest. He laughed.

“I want Tannie to be our ring bearer, I want to do everything with you, live my life with you. I love you too, you massive dork.” he said, a huge smile on his face as he held your cheek in his hand.

You couldn’t help the tears flowing from your eyes now, this time full of happiness and love. You launched foward and tackled him into a hug, his back hitting the bed with you on top of him, hugging him so tightly. He laughed and brought you close, burying his face in your hair.

The next few minutes was just the two of you repeating “I love you” back and forth, hugging and kissing wherever you could reach. When you finally parted you noticed the growing light around you, the pinks and oranges of the dawn showering you two in a soft light.

You two sat up, cuddled together as you watched the sun rise. Leaving your other hand intertwined with his, you checked your phone, a picture of Taehyung with an ice cream cone smiling at you from your screen.

5:46 am

[cherrymoonvol6]

some avengers endgame Thoughts cause i saw the movie yesterday and can't stop thinking about it

of course..... spoilers ahead

nebula and tony playing!!!! i just love how nebula's personality comes through without it being ooc

also... nebula carefully sitting tony up. she Cares so much :(

steve immediately going to tony :( like im a stucky kind of gal but holy shit i love them

which was completely erased in the next scene where tony drags steve up and down and after that passes out, which is a confrontation Mood

i wonder how they made tony look so skinny and sick. if it was cgi then i applaud them cause it looked so good

the way they killed thanos so fucking quickly here... i don't know how to feel lmao. like cutting the gauntlet arm and then slicing his neck... that's what we were all screaming at them during infinity war. it's good to see them learn from their mistakes, i guess ?

(can't remember the order in which things happen from now so forgive me if i make a mistake)

i told my sister "that's one of the russos!!!!!" so it took me ten seconds to realize that the russo was the gay character everyone was talking about (i thought it would be fury for no other reason than it being shocking and fury having very little to do with the plot, but)

and steve being supportive of that :( man out of time said gay rights!

carol's new hair!! holy shit!!!!!

rocket insinuating carol has been experimenting with more hairstyles... i would like to see it

don't think i missed that carol x rhodey nod. i support it.

don't wanna say it now... for now ill just state: i love what they're doing with natasha in the movie. she truly feels like a friend to steve. like that small gesture of her sliding the plate towards steve is just so domestic and beautiful! it really makes her feel so human and complex at the end. i was so worried about her being wasted but i loved her throughout the film

it was a fucking rat who got scott out. i have to laugh.

also is that the guy from that old "gayyyyy" meme????

cassie is all grown up!!!!!! i can't even imagine how hard it had been for her

also what happened to her mom? and the stepdad??? are they fine????? i hope so

i was hoping we would get more tony as a dad in this movie and it delivered!! tony is so fucking good with kids. the bond between him and morgan was so well portrayed

also the place they live in is so cozy and that's what he deserves

when steve stepped down the car in that black outfit with the leather jacket on i gasped... he's fucking gorgeous

i kept wanting him and tony to kiss lmao tf is wrong with me

OKAY my hawkeye rights. i missed him so much

the stylish subtitles on the middle of the screen felt like too much. this isn't a tumblr gifset honey, just write them down!

thinking about the whole clintasha conversation really foreshadows the whole thing. natasha cares so deeply about clint and really puts his needs before hers. it's so beautiful to see

honestly... my clintasha rights!

i think the hulk/bruce scene was kinda endearing but then the ant man banter dragged on for toooo long

the dab i YELLED. these poor kids have to stand this man on 2023 pulling out 2016 trends to appear Hip and Cool

fat thor...... i hate how it was handled. hate it so fucking much.

new asgard! that's so cute. i hope that's on norway

miek and korg are alive!!!!

the thought of thor insulting a possibly 14 year old on fortnight is too much for me. it sounds like bad fanon talk. i still laughed (bc noobmaster69??? that's fucking hilarious)

tonys reaction to i love you 3000 is so beautiful. like the way he looks taken aback and so happy. i love irondad

steve in a white shirt and jeans!!!! i gasped again. he's delivering, the fucking model

i know they were like, barely being decent to each other again, but i still wanted my stony hug:(

when they're discussing their infinity stones memories and natasha and tony are laying down together on a table???? adorable. amazing.

also why tf didn't nebula said the soul stone required a sacrifice??? i thought that's what she got from gamora dying in volmir

as soon as natasha and clint arrived to volmir i began chanting "nonononononononono"

fuckkdjdksndk fucking nebula. cue to more nononono chanting

rhodey knocking out quill with a single hit is the funniest scene in the movie

clintasha calling on bullshit on the sacrifice thing was also quite funny

the forehead touch :((( im so weak! so sad!

clintasha literally fighting each other to be each other's sacrifice!!!! kill me now!!!!

jeez now i can finally say it: scarjo shined so fucking much on this movie!!!! her delivery was amazing, i really felt a connection between her and the avengers, it really showed her growth during the five year time jump. she fucking killed it. she did her best and she's the best black widow we could've ever gotten.

clint mourning her :((((( probably the third time i cried during the movie

thor's panic attack being used for cheap laughs was the most uncomfortable moment for me... or any scene where people only saw thor as Fat and Lazy (basically, two thirds of the movie)

the freya + thor reunion was so sweet though!

okay. okay. hear me out. tony was on a very serious mission to regain an infinity stone. and the first thing he does is check out steve's ass. and aknowledge how glorious it is. i couldn't believe what i was watching!!!!!! like that actually fucking happened. consider me a fully formed stony bitch.

and scott joining in to say it was "america's ass" ???? poetic cinema

so it's canon that everyone checks out steve's ass and appreciates it as a national treasure. that's all i never thought id needed.

steve saying "hail hydra" i YELLED. it was a nice nod to the whole "cap is a nazi" mess

and steve fighting himself... hot

using his bucky trauma to shock himself is :/// but also :((((

i loved that for one moment i knew everyone on the theatre was staring at steve's ass

and steve being appreciative of his own butt!!!! ok that's all i have to say about steve's ass

i loved the reminder that thor was still kinda goofy back in avengers 1, for everyone who says taika completely changed his character. and the little tony + thor moment was adorable

"howard..... potts" i can understand tony being a mess but how did howard not suspect of anything??? elevator lady took one look of steve's face and all of her alarms started ringing

peggy carter... ive missed my wife so much

did peggy marry souza. i hope she did. steve tf are you doing staring at a married woman (jk)

clint kicking the stones away as soon as bruce is done with the snap is the biggest mood

also... the hell was scott looking at that made him think it had worked? just... more birds outside? i was really curious

the irony of the only avenger without superpowers being left with the stones

"i know you" *hands out stones* how can you not love clint, he's so pure

nebula killing his 2014 self is a power move. that would be me if i met my 2014 self

thor with a braided beard!!!!! beautiful

thanos is like, a real threat and i love that

okay. i kinda saw it coming. i saw thor leave mjolnir behind and i thought "oh????". and then the shock of thanos being able to wield stormbreaker. and then fucking mjolnir moving!!!!! i was the only person in the theatre who yelled

but seriously!!!! steve wielding AND fighting with mjolnir!!!!! couldn't stop thinking about it all day!!!!!!!!! STEVE IS WORTHY!!!!!!!

parallels to thor going for the chest. it never works babies!

and just.... this was steve's moment. steve i-can-do-this-all-day rogers really fighting with every ounce of his body and soul against the most powerful being on earth. justice for him getting knocked after touching thanos for one second in iw!

and steve getting up again! all dirty and wounded!! trembling with exhaustuation and resolution!!! with his broken shield on his arm!!!! just him facing the biggest army of the universe!!!!! so powerful

sorry to destroy this epic moment, but like, okay. people had been reintegrated to life like, twenty minutes before. and i understand that they were all confused and out of place. but sam really needed ALL that time to just... try to communicate with steve????? ok

the "avengers..." *brings mjolnir with one hand while bracing his shield with the other* "assemble" moment was... oh my God. chills all over my body.

that One Moment where steve has stormbreaker on his hand... so fucking hot

the tony and peter reunion holy shit. the hug was everything i needed! like please just hug tony stark for ages

and tony and pepper fighting together!!! that's a power couple right there

i felt it when quill looked at gamora and just... stopped. im so sad his moment was played for laughs when it was obviously such an important moment for his character

thanos was so fucking scared of wanda that he put his own troops at risk to stop her for a little while. strongest avenger right there!

and carol coming back!!!! i was like

i felt so relieved at that point. i was like "yeah thanos is fucking over what's next"

no need to talk about all the women coming together to defend peter :')

thanos getting the gauntlet again... the nonono chanting came back

fucking CAROL trying to stop him. looking at him with such a determined face, like "you can't stop me from stopping you". it was so powerful he had to snatch one stone to stop her

and strange giving him the one finger to tony.... i knew what was coming holy shit. i knew it. they knew it.

tony really proved himself there. it was his best scene on the entire mcu, don't argue with me!!!!!! the way he stood there and took all the power of the stones, unmasked, unaffected, powerful and almighty

"i am... iron man" cue to ugly sobbing

tony knew there was no other way. pepper did, too... she knew exactly what she had to tell him. she was right. tony spent all of these years moved by selfishness first, then fear, then guilt. an endless battle since thanos was on his head. but the war was over. what mattered was that he saved everyone, and he sacrificed himself for everyone. a complete 180° from last movie's ending.... wow

gotta said... peter there felt a little bit out of place for me. i think it would've been more powerful if he didn't say anything, though peter is a teenager, i can get it

his arc with steve felt unfinished, too. i would've liked to see steve's reaction as well, since tony had told him he wanted everyone back and also for his family so survive. but whatever

im not against tony killing thanos instead of gamora and nebula but i would've liked if we saw them react to his death, at least:/ like a little parallel between nebula's reaction at the beginning and the end of endgame

the One stucky interaction here was pulled from cap1 and iw. i feel betrayed

bucky Knew what steve was going to do. i wonder if steve told him before or bucky just sensed it

you can't convince me steve would go back and carelessly dance with peggy knowing his friend is being used like a weapon by hydra and bound to kill tonys parents. nah nah. it all felt wrong

my steggy rights!!!

love that the russos foreshadowed cap!bucky on tws just to give the shield to sam at the end

anyways what the fuck bucky was all steve had but he lived the happiest life without it and left him alone on the 21st century? okay fuck y'all

[yiulee999]

Hey! What do you think of OPM season 2? I still love it & am looking forward to next weeks new episode but i just wish Saitama had more screen time ;-(

hey nonny~! 

apologies for the late reply, its a combo of not getting notifications (tumblr u useless trashbucket) and being on surgery rotation (i miss sleeping so much) 

firstly, i am truly glad you still love it and look forward to the new episodes!!! 💖💖💖please dont let anything i say from this point on dissuade you from that enjoyment 

THAT BEING SAID 

///cut for length 

ive only watched up to the second episode, and i am having Such Difficulties convincing myself to keep watching. i know my rxns to ep 1 were overall pretty positive and I stand by it but the more i watch the more the Cringe/Hypercritique starts take over. 

Turns out, the art style had a bigger impact than i thought on the length of which i enjoy shows. personally, i just really like when anime/shows have a happy marriage between writing and artwork. and when show directors know how to interpret writing, how to set up a scene (the angle, the music, the pacing), and then communicate with artists who have the skills to bring that idea to life using the medium they’re given -- that’s when writing becomes storytelling. OPM’s writing is still fantastic since they’re going off ONE (whereas GoT has the opposite problem where the production value is 4K and the writing is early 2000s livejournal/fanfiction lol god why is everyone dropping the ball in 2019??)

As for the art, since opm switched to jc staff and shingo natsume & co. left for other projects ( ;;_____;; im emo ), its inevitable we would see a drop in animation quality and i find myself constantly getting distracted by things i never used to get concerned about in the first season (bc of the high bar of expectations set by s1 artists/directors, like theres just no way jc staff would match up it to all of that and i feel bad for them, they’re trying their best but that doesn’t mean theyre immune to critique on the artistic liberties that they’ve taken that i feel as a viewer, may not have been the best choice?) 

the shading: no, just, unnecessary and distracting and why is it the center of saitamas face, im by far no expert in lighting but a bish can tell something doesnt look right??? 

the shading pt II: color choices. just gonna say i was not expecting sai’s ‘hair shirt’ in ep 1 to be bright-ass neon green, it was a little jarring at first and i miss him in red ;-; i get hes supposed to have poor fashion choices but i dont see him as the type to pick something that stands out so much in the crowd, like he likes to be left alone. NEON doesnt really relay ‘hi dont mind me im just barely existing here lol’ 

the shading pt III: genos arms/neck. okaY so the bby looks good in screenshots. like he’s shiny and nice to look at when nothings moving. bUT this is animation?? movement of objections is different from still life manga so making every single scene almost 99% like murata’s panels translates a little awkwardly to the screen (like staff is lucky bc murata’s a force of nature with his panels playing out like a movie for ref). but when genos moves, the arms are just distracting bc everything around him is drawn simply without shadows so they stand out by themselves and i (visually) forget about the rest of him haha. 

the pacing: it feels scripted, person A says this so we’ll show person A in the shot, then person B is saying something so we have to cut to person B, etc etc like keeping pretty steady to manga lines to the point where i was starting to get bored bc i knew what was coming. it was really intervaled? like someone had to be saying something at a certain effect and i think s1 had more dramatic pauses (lol) but thats how you can place emphasis on scenes to have an emotional impact if the character doesnt say anything and just let the soundtrack do some talking and the cadence of the script will change too (im 10000% talking about the sunset scene in s1 god bless. like it was slow, there was MOOD there wasn’t any rush and really gave the viewer time to think about the relationship between the two characters and what that moment meant to each of them) i feel like there were several scenes that could have been more like in the scene where sai protected fubuki, could have been a little more dramatically emphasized (aka just a pause) so the viewer could get a chance to understand that he purprosefully shielded her or when genos says that strong heroes are drawn to saitama--bUT nope its the same pace, like c l o c k w o r k just like my t eARS--

the fight scenes: how do i even start. the one scene that got me INTO opm (like watching the anime, reading the manga, drawing fanart, writing fanfic, reading fanfics etc) was kickstarted by the fight scene between genos and saitama in s1 that was circulating on tumblr a while back. i thought the characters were interesting and the fight was badass and it just looked SO COOL. (also the forehead flick at the end just kinda sealed my fate). going from that to s2 fight scenes where its mostly cut scenes and freeze scenes?? where theres a cut out behind the characters back?? during a fight scene????? this isn’t a calling card or an anime opening??? i dont understand. when they dont do cut scenes, its interesting but my initial impression is just underwhelmed. i can find good parts but it feels like i have to replay the scene to notice it? theres also an overwhelming amount of graphics/cgi manipulation that overpowers the actual art sometimes. its lacking some of the fluidity that comes from hand drawn fight scenes from first season. OTL

the sound directing: so i thought that the mood just felt off for certain scenes and the sound didn’t seem to support the scene as well (unless it was like the character’s theme or smtg) and i looked it up and the sound director was also replaced (Yoshikazu Iwanami replacing Shoji Hata). i have no idea if the sound director is also in charge of character lines but there were parts were fubuki was monologuing and i had no idea she was inner monologuing, i thought she was talking out loud and that just took extra effort on my part to re-orient myself (im nitpitcking i know but its just how i watch shows lol) 

there are still some parts i like about the animation:

fubuki looks bangin and i love her👌👗

all of this just made me realize how insanely lucky we were to have an amazing s1 and just have it exist and how i really could not care less if they had just waited forever to make s2 as long as we had the same crew come back. but anime is still a business and the quicker they dish out merch/seasons, the more money they can bring in. which they do in the short run but they would bring in more if they spent a little more on quality in the long run and it becomes one of those classics that ppl will rewatch and keep recommending to ppl who want to get into anime and oh my god we’re never gonna have that now, are we. if im gonna rec it to a friend its gonna be ‘read the manga!’ or ‘just watch s1!’ uGH. its just an unfortunate situation, its not one person’s fault either, so many factors go into what made opm s1 so spectacular and seeing s2 just made me appreciate s1 more. i guess im happy to have a s2 regardless? 

i’ll still watch to support (and bc i like suiryuu and wanna see sai in a karate gi and wig lol). maybe i just have to get used to the new style. 

so in summary,

[sunny-jac-blog]

Take It Out On Me (Modern Barlyle)

hey guys! ok so this was originally inspired by a song i love (Take it Out On Me - Florida Georgia Line) but i kinda changed some things around a bit ?? idk have some barlyle ft. nervous kicked puppy phil

also pls don't hate me i love carlwheeler a whole lot but the only way it would make sense and to have them break up pls forgive me (also i am so sorry for not having cuts im only on tumblr mobile love yall sorry for long posts ack)

Word Count: 1.5k

__________________________________

“What’d she do this time?”

Phillip shrugged as he pushed past Phineas, who had been holding his apartment door open. He had been getting a lot of visits from Phillip recently, to talk about Anne, and something she did or said or made him feel. Mostly, they had been good, but recently things had been tense, and Phillip hadn't come to Phineas's apartment in two weeks.

When he saw the tear streaks on Phillip's cheeks, he knew that there was no getting better.

“She-... She broke up with me, Phin. Last week. I tried convincing her we could work through it, but--” He took a deep breath, shaking his head. “She… she said that she would rather end things and go back to being friends. Which I'm fine with, don't get me wrong, I don't care, as long as she's still in my life, but--”

“--You still have feelings for her,” Phineas finished, and sighed. “I'm sorry to hear what happened, Phillip… Why so suddenly?” He glanced over and bit his lip as he walked to the couch, gesturing for Phillip to sit next to him with a sigh. He moved the remote away as the younger man crossed the room, sitting with his arms crossed.

“She told me that she had other things that she needed to focus on first, and she needed to focus on herself more right now. And- And I get that, and I agree, because she's been kinda distant lately, so I'm completely fine with this. It's just… It’s the fact that I can't get over her. I can't get my mind off of her, no matter how hard I try, and I know I shouldn't be upset that we broke up, but… I-I can't help it.” Phillip sighed, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head. He looked up at the ceiling and crossed his legs.

Phineas gulped. He thought for a moment, and shrugged. “Well, Phillip, I… I wish I could say it gets easier, but breakups can be kind of hard…” He sat up, looking at him with a sympathetic smile. “What you need is a distraction. Get some of your friends, go- go on a roadtrip or something, maybe hit a few strip clubs, hook up with someone new. It doesn't have to be a relationship--”

“You know I'm not that kind of man, Phineas,” Phillip sighed. He stood, shaking his head. “This was a mistake, I should go, I'm sorry.”

“Wait, Phillip,” Phineas sighed and stood, tugging his wrist gently. As he looked down at Phillip's wide eyes, he couldn't help but gulp. Phineas found himself taking a slow step forward, sliding his hand down his arm. He chose his next words carefully. He let out a soft breath, and clasped Phillip's hand.

“Let me be your distraction.”

There was a moment of silence. Five seconds. Phillip seemed to be unresponsive, thinking something over. Phineas started to pull his hand away. Phillip gripped it tighter, took his free hand and grabbed Phineas's red t-shirt, and roughly tugged him down into a burning kiss.

Instantly, Phineas's was pulling Phillip closer, one hand on his hip while the other threaded through Phillip's hair. He pulled back from the kiss long enough to look into his eyes, and leaned down, gently kissing Phillip's jaw.

Phillip let out a soft groan, his hands resting on Phineas's chest. “Phineas, what-- What are we doing?” He asked breathlessly, and quickly pulled back, looking up at Phin with a nervous gaze. “...I- I can't do this, not now, I'm sorry,” He whispered, looking at him for a few moments more, before hurrying to the door, quietly closing it behind him.

_______________________________________

The next time Phillip saw Phineas, it was a week later. He hadn't left his apartment since going to Phineas's, and after that kiss, he was terrified. Terrified that Phineas would be pissed at him, terrified that he would get hurt again so soon.

And, most importantly, he was terrified of how the kiss had made him feel. For that brief moment, the kiss made him feel as if he was on top of the world, all thoughts of Anne vanished from view. Truth be told, he couldn't stop thinking about it, about him. Phineas was on his mind when he woke, and was the last thought Phillip had when he drifted off to sleep.

He had been writing non-stop since the kiss, and now had five drafts for five different “stories” that would never be seen by the public. That morning, around four a.m., he opened a new document on Google docs, shaking as he typed.

‘His lips were a blazing fire, leaving me burned in their tracks. He had caused me so many feelings that I knew I couldn't deny, and while intoxicated under his kiss, I was powerless. Even now as I lie awake, my mind goes back to the one encounter we shared, and I feel all over again. I love him.’

He stared at the words on the screen. Slowly, he deleted the last three words of the paragraph, shut his laptop, placed it off to the side, and went to bed.

_______________________________________

When they finally saw each other again, it was a chance encounter. Phillip had been at a coffee shop alone, staring at his laptop as he attempted to read through some critic's views about his latest published work. Since quitting the play scene and joining Phineas's lesser known entertainment company, Phillip hadn't been doing much writing, but that had all changed recently. He scoffed as he read a particularly harsh line, glancing up as the door opened.

When he saw Phineas walk in, he froze. Phin glanced around, spotting him and hesitating before walking over. He sat in the seat in front of Phillip, gulping. ”Phillip, we need to talk.”

One. Two. Three.

When phillip opened his eyes again and saw Phineas there still, he nodded and rubbed his forehead. There was no way he could run away now- he had to figure out this mess.

“Can we talk somewhere private?” Phillip asked with a sigh, standing. “My apartment is a few blocks away. Let's go.”

The walk there was silent. Phillip refused to speak, and Phineas didn't know what to even begin to say. Once at the building, Phillip walked inside, gesturing for Phineas to follow. He walked to the elevator quickly, before going to the eighth floor.

His apartment was neat. Stylized. It was decorated in shades of gold, red, black and white, and looked extremely classy. Phineas didn't know what he expected, but it wasn't that.

And he surely didn't expect Phillip to push him against the door, pull him down, and kiss him.

He had no complaints about either realization.

As he kissed back, Phineas wrapped his arms around Phillip's waist, pulling him closer. Phillip ran his hands through Phineas's hair, down his sides, up his arms- he wouldn't stop touching him, as if he were making sure that he was even real.

Phineas slowly pulled back from the kiss and took Phillip's fidgety hands, looking down at him. “Is- Is everything alright?” He asked softly.

“I couldn't stop thinking about you. I shouldn't have left, Phin, I--... I'm sorry,” Phillip murmured as he looked up at him. He looked almost vulnerable. Like he was afraid that Phineas would laugh in his face and leave.

“Phillip,” Phineas started, gently cupping his cheek. “you don't have to apologize. I understand.”

“I know, it’s just- I don't know, you make me nervous.” Phillip mumbled. He slowly walked to the couch and sat down, and Phineas followed. Phillip could've sworn to see a smirk on his face, and he gently whacked his shoulder, rolling his eyes. “Don't laugh at me, Phin.”

“What- I'm not laughing! I'm not laughing,” He smiled at Phillip, rubbing his shoulder. “Don't hit me.”

“I can hit you if I want to hit you!”

“Phillip. You're the size of a kitten.”

“I hate you.”

“They why did you kiss me, hm?”

Phillip started to respond, but he groaned and rubbed his forehead, a slight grin on his face. “Will you shut up? I kissed you because-... Because, I, uh… I like you, I think.”

“Well, it's about damn time,” Phineas murmured, grinning as he pulled Phillip closer. At this point, Phillip wa as almost on top of him. Phillip cupped his cheek and leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips, before pulling back with a wide grin.

Phineas raised a brow. He smiled up at him, resting his hands on Phillip's waist. “What's that grin for, hm? Are you planning something?”

“...Does your offer still stand?”

“My- My offer?”

Phillip looked up at him and smirked softly. He leaned in closer, their lips barely touching, his fingers playing with the hem of Phineas's shirt as he whispered, “Will you be my distraction, Phin?”

Phineas only chuckled and pulled him in for a deeper kiss, deciding that maybe he could get used to this.

[parappa-and-lammy]

Why do you demonize sunny so much? Just for your ship? You know parappa's concerns in the 2nd game arent real right?

i had like 50thousand different reaction pics and gifs for this that i dug up on my phone but i didnt want this to be overwhelmin with em all so i just cut it down to only this one:

and also i genuinely don’t understand what you mean by “parappa’s concerns in the 2nd game”, so Blease, feel free to elaborate on that,,,,

Haha, well noooo i dont Extremely Dislike her ‘just for my ship’, as you saaayy Sunny Apologist Anon, since believe it or not.. ive never liked her since the very beginning. I coulda sworn i mentioned that in the Submitted post from a bit ago, but imma elaborate aneeweys just for yoouuu!~

So when i was a super youngin, just a wee lil bebe, i loved watching my then uncle play Parappa the Rapper on the playstation we all shared (and yes i watched him, didn’t play it myself, because i was super young. and you think id be able to play it?? i can barely play it now and im olderer now!! so nah sadly…i did play the fighting game he had though. i always played the funky dinosaur. He was my favorite and i named him Gecko.)

Anyways So i would watch, and my favorite was always The Dog. He was so adorable, just dancing and trying his best. i loved The Dog so much that i even remember how one time, after watching for a few hours, when we got back to our house i ran to my room and attempted to draw him in my dinky Notebook, and used my new Stamp thingies id gotten as a gift to stamp little hearts all around him, since thats how much i loved him.

Besides The Dog, i also loved The Cat too. She was funny. And blue. She liked dancing too, and that was cool seeing her on screen. (i coulda sworn i tried to draw her too…) I liked The Brown (i didnt know he was a bear. i was a really dumb kid ill keep tellin ya) sorta too, but i guess since his stuff was more dialogue based (and i was too much of a young dumb kid to understand anything) i didnt think much of him. He was cute too though. He sure loved to eat donuts and other foods.

and of all of them, The Flower was my absolute least favorite. I mean, she was colorful, literally…all them pinks and yellows, plus the colors on her dress, looked super nice. But i was bored with her. Didnt draw her one bit. Especially didnt like her one bit at all. Least interesting. meh. i wanna see The Dog again. but eh..i was never much of a flower person. i was always about Dem Animals.

so years pass, i grow from a dumb kid, and every now and again wonder ‘what the heck even was that game. it had a funky name’ Through some seriously uncharacteristicly Dumb Luck, i randomly make a tumblr account, and happen to see a post celebrating the 20th anniversary of PaRappa The Rapper.

i get ridiculously happy and all the memories pour back! To try and make this story shorter, i binge watch someone playing it, and discover Um Jammer Lammy. so i binge watch that game too - at first i didnt like it (just like how i am with any other sequel) but then grow to Immensely love it. Then i loved Lammy too. And after some stuff i wont go into too much depth about since it aint what ya asked, i somehow got hooked onto actually seeing PaRappa And Lammy together.

After all that, and all that re-discovering, i still didnt like Sunny at all. but i tried to get out of that mindset by delving into The Community here. They all had wonderful stories, beautiful arts, and especially stuff with Sunny in it too!

But i tried. I tried doing that, and it didnt work. I still didnt like her. In fact, i had liked her even less than before after my delving. I mean, my favorite fics i remember reading were the ones where she was the Absolute Antagonist! (and coincidentally, the ones i liked the least were ones with her in the spotlight, being Praised to the sun and back and shown as a protagonist. No thanks.)

So dont try and say i didnt try to like her. i did. I tried very hard.

But something i DO enjoy is, as you say, ‘demonizing’ her. Pointing out how ah…Not Good she is, though everything wants to portray her as such. How she is the literal, textbook definition, of a Mary Sue and everyone (in-universe and even out-universe as well) loves her to death, and i am Not Jiggy With That. Pumping her up with flaws because the series she was created in refused to give her any.

Should she have been an animal instead in order to appease the Stupid Kid that i was way back when, or give her an actual character so that Slightly Less Stupid Me can then enjoy her, i could absolutely like her. But i dont. And i genuinely do not understand why anyone does, other than ‘Flower Pretty. Pretty = Good.”

honestly tho dont worry about Dumb Ol Me. The Parappa series wasnt ever about the characters, the world theyre in, why some people are animals and others are normal humans or inanimate objects or detached parts of the body; it’s about the music! It’s about how the dog raps and has a dj, and how the lamb plays her guitar and is in a band. I just dont like Sunny is all.

I didnt like her before, i didnt like her recently, and i especially dont like her now. and with that in mind, doin dumb stuff like makin her like, sympathize, and excuse the actions of the characters in RENT, be very apathetic to you and your plight, plus whatever other dumb stuff ive drawn is funny to me. And absolutely in character by the way.

but iunno. how would i know?? It’s not like she has any in the games!

Keep doing you though. If you like Sunny, theres obviously something in her you like that i be forever blind to see. And if you, Sunny Apologist Anon, have some proof of her bein good or anythin of the sort you’d like to slap me in the face with, go right ahead! Feel free to drop a submission or an ask if you want me to talk on about something for way too long (cough like this one haha). I keep an open mind, and am welcome to any feedbacks.~ 🧡

[lockewoodandco]

Crossover is Bad

This is not a gr8 review, i’m just throwing my thoughts down after first watch (cause hell no im not watching it again and i have no patience to even torrent it for a review i don’t have my full faith in cause im not actually a reviewer). I’m also not jewish so this won’t go into depth about how they handled that cause i don’t actually know anything more than the history aspect. 

I should also mention that even though I riff on the writers a lot, I doubt it’s all their fault. Although this whole thing can basically be summed up by I Complain But Also Give Everyone The Benefit Of The Doubt so you know, make your own opinion. I don’t know everything and if you do, you’re lucky. Impart to us your wisdom, maybe. 

also shout out to the first time I have an opinion on tumblr.

if its not apparent already, spoilers.

Crossover is Worse Than You Think

First order of business, let’s get through the problems with the mechanics of the show before we go into the fact that the whole premise is Bad.

 The way everyone just... appeared? Bad. you have all these writers and none of them can think of a way to explain absences and appearances? If you’re working with so many characters, that should be your first order of business. Assign certain people to keep track of certain character if you have to. Why aren’t certain characters at the wedding scene? (*cough* RAY) Why was Mick at the wedding when anyone in their right mind would expect it to cause more problems than it did? Why didn’t Mick bring Ray or Amaya? Despite his grumbling, I would think it would have made sense if Ray was asked to be Mick’s +1, as Ray would be the perfect buffer, and given their history as acknowledged on screen, it would show how far their friendship has come especially after Ray disappeared during their trust fall. Also, why weren’t all the legends invited? Why wasn’t all of team arrow invited? Why wasn’t all of team flash invited? Dibny? gone. did they even invite him? are you telling me he didn’t clock in at all when there were very obvious Nazi’s literally swarming? what is his excuse?

the problem is, these characters have no excuses for being absent. No one mentions why Dibny is awol, no one mentions “oh, [character] couldn’t make it” or “[character] is [possibly comics throwback]”. When some characters just magically appear halfway through like “oh, we were just waiting for you to call even though we gave no reason for us not to know about the nazis especially since we already seem completely briefed.” no mention of a previous anachronism or baddie they were busy doing while most people were at the wedding. Nothing like “we just got back fighting [baddie/in year] and now we gotta punch some nazi’s.” where was everyone? apparently just waiting offscreen for their turn to kick ass. 

another missing character that definitely should have been invited; Hartley Rathaway. there's not a single mention of him. he’s good now!!! where is he!!!! I want a scene where cisco sneaks away and calls him up like, “i know you and barry are awkward considering everything but he invited you so i think you should be here!!!” have Andy call in his roll, maybe have someone shoot a sound thing off screen and think it’s canary when it definitely isn’t! This man still exists in canon as a friend of team flash, at least mention why he couldnt make it!!!!! 

I’m not that great! I don’t know shit! I’m an amateur writer barely making it through writing his first book! But I do know that instead of humanizing Nazi’s with love, you could have spent a little more time fleshing out the world your main characters are in. i mean seriously. bringing in just a mention of hartley rathaway? Bam. a question everyone’s been asking is answered AND your universe feels more real by the fact that this character is now probably doing something completely independent of any storyline.  there are ways to use these characters even when their actors are not available. you own the rights to use these characters!!! the actors dont own them!!! they arent automatically off the table, especially cause a lot of them have masks on, put them in a background shot my dude! like i said before, you don’t even have to have any part of them or their costume on screen to show they still exist! this! is! not! news! this is working with what you got, and you got a lot more than you think you do! if you actually don’t have the power to do that, then you must have the worst contract negotiator known to mankind. 

that was longer than i anticipated me going on for, but next problem: Leo

once again, appeared out of nowhere, this time in a fully populated area where he should have come barging in, obvious signs of cold chaos behind him, probably moving quite similar to his counterpart. maybe give barry more of a shock, instead of just a look of, “oh, he’s nice this time, thats kinda unexpected.” why? cause it’s not unexpected. not for Barry at least. 

you know what i dont buy? aloof Leonard Snart. Sure, it makes a good act, but is it one that Leo would hold up next to Mick? especially when he seems to drop it for his boyfriend. Do you really think that Leo would not notice the way Mick refers to him, and not try to give him some form of comfort besides a passing sentence that feels like the equivilant of “get over it.” they both lost each other, leo may not be as close to his mick as mick was to len, but we already know that Leonard Snart is far from emotionally stunted, his last iteration was full of emotion and you can tell that this Leo is the same, if not even more, so where even a single second of understanding before the scene cuts. It feels like you did this to address a fan concern, without seeing it as your concern. guess what? it is your concern! why? cause its a loose thread, and it was pointed out for a reason. The script is getting on the level of a daytime soap my dude. whatever internal problem is causing this lack of quality, it needs to be addressed. And don’t let me hear about it cause I don’t want to know! I just want to see it improved! 

A bit of good that came from that scene, Mick struggling to figure out how he should verbally react to the way he died on Earth X. 

Also, giving Len a boyfriend, pretty good. i have nitpicks but they arent important to this.

Alex

Sex is not character development! If you gotta have it, it should have been after the heart to heart with Sara! I do get it to a certain extent though, but the way it’s handled leaves a lot more to be desired. you get this pickup to a good minor plot that just can’t be completed. I can’t even see how this helped Sara grow as a character in any way, even though it was probably supposed to be about seeing damien darhk again and dealing with him, but you don’t hear that! Just a little line about Laurel. Minor complaint, they missed out on mentioning Sara also has the whole, my sister has an evil doppelganger thing, Although I don’t think she knows so I’m mourning the loss of the impossible on this one. Circumstantial humour there. 

The Ray

have we seen him before? on any dctv show? I dont know! i have no clue! He looks familiar but I even googled it and nothing! (doesn’t help that he shares a name with Ray Palmer) He’s supposed to be from Earth 1, right? Where is he! please tell me, I wanna know. He looks familiar but I could just be giving you the benefit of the doubt! you can’t just be like “oh he’s also from earth 1″ and just leave it there. How? And then he doesn’t stay and I doubt that the rest of the team really cares but I care! i care a lot!

also, why is Eobard Thawne the same Eobard? i mean, I forgot how much i enjoyed Tom’s performance as Eobard, good on you, you almost got me distracted, but like, he cant just (say it with me guys) appear. also, he has no motivation! cool! i hate it! the only thing i could possibly think of is he just wants to see his earth again but also he hates the time period so what!!! literally just make him a different Eobard! you don’t need to explain why his face is Tom because you already explained that Earth X is just Earth 1 with Nazis! (which um, also time doesn’t work that way, especially with mass genocide and jewish characters)

with leads me to my next problem!

time doesn’t work that way, especially with mass genocide and jewish characters!!!

also, you mean to tell me in a world where everything’s the same except nazi’s, that Kara Zor-El did not immediately rage against the machine, especially if the who earth looked like a burning sepia photograph. also, dead bodies! same on any planet! She’s gunna freak! you can’t escape death and wholeheartedly accept genocide like that! not without a very good reason. really, instead of giving kara/x a dumb love thing, maybe make it about what shaped each of their beliefs despite coming from the same beginnings cause once again, it was established that everything’s the same except nazi’s, so krypton still died. and since you gotta shoehorn arrow in Bad Town, make it an unrequited love! cool! Cause Nazi’s portrayed on tv don’t deserve happiness! Sadly I can’t stop actual Nazi’s from finding love! Wish I could! Also why is Oliver the weak link when he’s the Fuhrer? its dumb, really dumb. also, Overgirl’s death is dumb, especially since it should have killed Kara as well. Basic logic says if a blast kills your doppelganger and you’re pretty close to next to them (guessing that Kara was able to escape a ways even though they were shown to be basically next to each other) you’re going to get more than a little falling action.

Also, you know what happens to jewish characters (and basically anyone who’s not a cis straight aryan at that point) on Earth X? pretty fucking obvious. You know what happens when you lose that much of a population and try to compare it to an earth without that loss? You realize you lose a lot more than you think, and a lot more things change. you probably don’t even have to think about it that hard, someone’s probably already done that thought experiment!

Here’s one I gotta shoehorn in,

Joe mentions the fact that Iris and Barry are both his children in a speech when they’re about to get married. Heres an option: Dont! Say how much he enjoyed seeing them grow up together without mentioning any familial bond that connects the two people getting married. Cool! You know why? Crossovers pull in new viewers! Also Supergirl has a younger audience! These! People! Don’t! Know! Any! Better! 

Killing a Canon Jewish Character in an Episode about Nazi’s

There’s no way to paint this in a way that’s not shitty, especially when he didn’t have to die. You could have let him go back to his family. I can’t imagine what the thought process for this was. Shock value?! I don’t know. Maybe, because everyone expected Victor’s end to be Stein going home to his family. If it was, this really wasn’t the episode to do it in.

Next Up! Nazis!

Not good! Trying to backpedal and make your main villains have a non-nazi-ish reason for conflict? Worse! Nazi’s don’t deserve sympathy! They aren’t just a group of people in history! They’re a group of people in history who advocated for and took part in the absolute slaughter of millions. The numbers I checked agree it was near a billion when you include beyond just those who were jewish. What makes it worse is that this stain on human history has not died out. Sure, we all love punching Nazi’s, but as I understand, theres a lot more to it than that. Now we get into the part where my expertise lacks. As I understand it, one of the biggest problems in the comics is jewish coded heroes fighting as Nazis. How well did they avoid this? I don’t know! Someone please add to this! I want to know! 

So, if I hated the crossover, why did I watch it?

The flippant answer is that i hate-watched it. watched it for the sole purpose of leaving a bad review. That’s not really the reason. If it was, why would i complain on tumblr of all places? i think the real reason was that I just had to know. I just wanted to give the dctv the benefit of the doubt because I love the flash so much, and that love ends up extending through a lot of the other shows and characters, and I wanted to trust that even though the whole premise was Bad, that they had a handle on it. I keep coming back because I’ve grown attached to these characters so much, leaving feels like leaving a part of me. But that’s just me, a lot of other people have their reasons for staying, and a lot of it is no longer about the quality of the show itself. It means we’re all holding on by our fingernails desperately trying to hold on to that magic or pretend it hasn’t faded. Eventually we’re going to let go. What does that mean for the show? Are they just going to lose a small portion of fans, or a whole sector? How many are going to find the changes better than the previous season and take our place? I dont know! i live in an internet bubble my dude! Tumblr isn’t great for gathering analytics! All I know is, bad writing doesn’t make or break a cw show. It’s the cw, I mean what do you expect? I signed up for this, i made my bed, i’ve chosen to lie in it, I can get up whenever i want, its just a matter of when because some day, I’m going to get fed up. You might have my view for a little while longer, but you won’t have my confidence, you won’t have my support.

[datdeathqueen]

Question tag

Thxx @literally-just-yoongi-trash for tagging me!! :D Rules: Answer all the questions, add one of your own and tag as many people as there are questions 1. coke or pepsi? Coke 2. disney or dreamworks? Disney  3. coffee or tea? Tea, i dont drink coffee  4. books or movies? Books! But i love movies too lmao 5. windows or mac? Windows 6. dc or marvel? Marvel! 7. xbox or playstation? PSP lmao so Playstation 8. dragon age or mass effect? I have no idea what both are but there is the word dragon so dragon age? Looks like role play games tho? 9. night owl or early riser? Night owl..if u ever see me up early...nah u wont 10. cards or chess? Im bad at chess (I only know the basics like i can t really play lol) so cards 11. chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate!! 12. vans or converse? Converse, i ve never had vans but they look nice lol 13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar? It looks like knights names lmao but idk what it is 14. fluff or angst? BOTH!!!(depending on my mood haha) 15. beach or forest? Both!! But rn i would love to go on a walk in a forest 16. dogs or cats? *Clear throat* PUPPIESSS!!! (But i love cats too lol) 17. clear skies or rain? Clear skies 18. cooking or eating out? Man..i dont cook that often and im not even sure that im good at it but cooking lmao at least i know what i put in there. 19. spicy food or mild food? Mild.. i dont like too spicy food 20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas? New year (im a rebel deal with it xD) 21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? Even if i hate being cold i d rather be a bit too cold than too hot forever lmao 22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be? Flying...do i really need to explain? 23. animation or live action? Live action 24. paragon or renegade? Sorry i may be dumb but idk what are those (maybe video games cause i think i saw paragon on something video game related somewhere at some point?)(i could search...but nah) 25. baths or showers? Showers 26. team cap or team ironman? Team Ironman! 27. fantasy or sci-fi? Fantasy  28. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so, what are they? I have WAAYY more than 3 or 4 gOSh its gonna be hard to choose (Does it have to be from books? Or from a known person? Anyways...) "What doesn't kill you make you stronger" -Stronger, Kelly Clarkson "Don't take life so seriously, it's not like you're going to get out alive" -Smart random person somewhere at some point "Those who don't belive in magic will never find it" - Roald Dahl "Sick of crying Tired of trying Yeah i'm smiling But inside i'm dying" - Unknown "Nous naissons tous fous. Quelques-uns le demeurent." - Samuel Beckett (Its in french but it means "We are all born crazy. Some remain so.") Alright enough (BuT I HAVE SO MANY QUOTES THAT I LOVE FROM HARRY POTTER AND MORE AAHHH (stupid lil indesicive hoe that i am) .... "The stories we love best do live in us forever, so whether you come back by page or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home." - J.K. Rowling (Ok that was the last one!!) 29. youtube or netflix? Youtube.. i used to have netflix...but i prefer youtube and illegality...wait what? 30. harry potter or percy jackson? Harry Potter!!! But i loved PJ too!! 31. when do you feel accomplished? Didnt unlock that level yet, probably never will...not even probably lmao never will... i actually never wanted to start that game that is life...where do i sign off?? 32. star wars or star trek? Meh, star wars but not a huge fan 33. paperback or hardback books? Paperback most of the time 34. horror or rom-com? Rom-com, i HATE horrors 35. tv shows or movies? Movies 36. favourite animal? Unicorns! 37. favourite genres of music? Kpop/HipHop/Pop 38. least favourite book? I dont remember the title (and too lazy to search) but a book i had to read for school eeww 39. favourite season? Summer..tbh all beside winter lmao (unless i could hibernate...) 40. song that’s currently stuck in your head? ...Barbie Girl...dont...dont even ask... 41. what kind of pyjama’s do you wear? A nightgown with a cute penguin on it (dont judge me its so pretty and comfy xD) 42. how many existential crises do you have on an average day? My whole life is an existential crisis my bros...actually it s a joke, my life is a huge ass joke ok good haha i laughed enough now let me die 43. if you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be? Actually i have my whole (well almost all) funerals planned lmao but for the song: The beginning of the cercle of life from Lion King (The BAAASOOWWWEGGNNAAA BABADIBOUSHIBAA...) then a swag transition to AgustD (there is more but lets leave it here im not sure u are ready lol) 44. favourite theme song to a TV show? Hannah Montana? Or Victorious they were catchy lmao 45. harry potter movies or books? BOOKS HOW DARE U EVEN ASK?!?!? 46. you can make your OTP become canon but you’ll forget that tumblr exists. will you do it? It was all fun and games until this. Ugh...wellllll if I forgot tumblr exists my friends wont so they ll remind me... lmaoo then MY OTP (how to cheat on the system 101) 47. do you play an instrument and if so, what is it? I can like....play some BASIC songs on piano.... i aint even good nvm lol i ve been well educated into being an idiot 48. what is the worst way to die? Painfully i guess (im shit i know thx) BUT if u want an example (u asked for it (!!dont read if ur sensitive!!))*Clear throat* *Take a deep breath* By getting ur skin peeled slowly then pouring lemon juice and alcohol on it while cutting ur toes and fingers with a plastic knife. Then, getting ur eyes extracted with bare hands and getting ur vital organs removed one by one from the least vital to the heart. Finally crush it just cause why not :) Also called TORTURE but I had to exemplify it cause you asked :) (please dont be scared of me tho!! Im a nice hoe and NO FREAKING ONE DESERVES THAT!!! Not even the worst criminal!! ) 49. if you could be entirely invisible for a day, what would you do? A lot of things....like walking in underwear outside (i dont like being naked dont judge me) and no one sees me SO HELL YEAH NO SOCIALIZING!! (Im an antisocial lil hoe and hate most humans (not u reading this, i love you lil ball of perfectness :D) 50. What are you planning on doing with your life? What life? Need to have one first which is not gonna happen lmao 51. Favorite Disney movie? Ohh Boiii im a hoe for movies AND Disney...Welll...In the classics i d say Fantasia, Cinderella and Peter Pan (Im still waiting for him to take me to Neverland tho :(). And in the more recent ones i ll go with Tangled, Brave, Frozen, Big Hero 6 and Moana (i only choosed from the animated ones, it s already hard enough like that lol) 52. (My question) Do you believe in aliens? OF COURSE! I mean the earth is a grain of sand on a beach that is the universe lmaoo we cant be alone you lil selfish (jk haha) LMAOO!! I cant tag 52 people...so yea... know what? Im too lazy to tag anyone...just do it if ya want :)

[lonelylittletransgirl]

 3:58am - 13/05/2020

i’m gonna try and tell the rest of the story, its now been 4 months and a day since last talking to him, this writing is stream of thought im not editing any of this fyi

the introduction to rowan was a messy night, I had just finished work and it was probably around midnight, i recall it being a cold night, i wasnt in the best of mood, as dan and i wrapped foh shutdown i noticed a new person in the discord, everyone was in vc, so i joined in, and asked who this new person was. after being teased for a few hours over being jealous of the new person i went to bed, i think i cried myself to sleep? i forget, but i remember it was cold, talking on discord driving home, not a fun night at all.

within the first month of rowan joining he quickly became close with felix, lots of flirting, suggesting things he wanted to do to the boy, and the boy asked for it, soaked up the attention, felix took pride in me being jealous, he fed off it, he’d ask if i was jealous of rowan, and he’d giggle while asking, i hated rowan, and rowan hated me.

a lot of shit happened, but i forget most of it, im gonna skip ahead to the day we met rowan, because its significant to me, and is the most i can remember anymore.

the day we where gonna meet rowan we planned on exploring an abandoned house, i really didnt wanna go, but felix needed someone to drive him, and i didnt want felix to go without me, i was scared id loose him otherwise, so i went along. i woke up that morning and immedietly had an anxiety attack, i felt like i was going to puke, i was trembling, i could barely tie my shoes, but i managed to get some water, got dressed, and made my way to pickup felix. outside of his house anxiety really hit me again, i thought i was gonna puke, or faint, and felix just sat in the passenger seat, asked if i was okay, and if i was ready to go, he didnt seem to actually care about me, but it was whatever. we met up with rowan, and he was... okay ngl he was kinda cute, tall, nice hair, well dressed, but i was too busy hating him for trying to take felix to actually crush on him, so... yea. we met up with chris and the rest of the discord group shortly after, drove around, couldnt go into the abandoned house because there where workers there, we drove to chris’s house, chris played video games, i just kinda sat there, trying to not cry, while rowan held felix in his arms like a baby, kissing in view of everyone, i hated rowan. finally we had to leave, felix had work, i dropped felix off at his house, then dropped rowan off at the bus station so he could get back to hamilton, i went to go see xander, and that was that day.

rowan increasingly felt the need to call me out that im not dating felix and got more and more protective and possessive of him, as it turns out, felix had been hiding rowan from me since september, i got more and more desperate for felix’s attention, i started self harming more frequently and more visibly, he didnt care, i started threatening suicide, i got to a point mentally where i thought it might be time to take myself to a hospital to stop myself from doing anything dumb, but my busy work schedule + not being able to just dissapear from home meant that was a complete non option.

more things happened, we made a seperate group chat for sending tasteful nudes of ourselves to; idk why, but i partook, i didnt enjoy anything anyone else sent, but i wanted attention and validation, so i partook. there was another night that was kinda meaningful, felix and i where gonna sleep over, but then felix invited chris over, and i didnt want chris to come over, but he came anyways, stayed for an hour or two, then had to go to work and was gonna come back after work, i ended up crying for over an hour once chris left, and had to leave myself, stayed at xanders house instead.

finally, we reached a point, the 20th of january, i was at felix’s house, and i was in a bad mood, i had a bad night the night before, and i had cut myself quite a bit compared to previous, felix was hiding his phone screen from me, nothing out of the ordinary, but i caught a glimse, i realized he was on my tumblr, then suddenly he grabbed me and looked at my scars, scolded me for cutting, then went back to his phone what looked like screen shotting my tumblr. see, i started my previous tumblr similar to this one, for venting, and i shared the link with felix for some stupid reason, but i started catering the phrasing of my posts to include the things i wanted felix to know about, and started omitting the things i didnt want him to know, i would purposely include things i wanted to linger in his mind, and at this point he was going back through them all, realizing what kind of things ive been saying/feeling; i looked at him, and asked if i should leave, he said no, but i did end up going home. that night he sat in voice with rowan, his ex, and chris, i didnt join i was too busy crying. next morning i came online, and noticed it was quiet, i messaged felix asking if he wanted to hang out later in the week, and he left me on delivered for hours. i texed him again that night around 9:30pm asking if we where okay, and got no reply. finally, i messaged chris, asking what was up with felix, and the response i got was that chris isnt supposed to tell me, but rowan and felix’s ex convinced felix im a bad person, and that im toxic, and bad for felix. i felt sick, i couldnt stop crying, i knew it’d come to this point, and i tried so hard to keep him, but he finally gave up on me, i went to xanders house and cried more, finally, at 11:32pm i messaged felix, i appologized for everything, i thanked him for being a decent person to me when nobody else would be and that was that.

I dont know how i feel about it, writing this out makes me feel numb, im not crying, im just shaking, i wanna hurt myself, i wanna get in my car and drive off to nowhere and fall asleep forever, i hate felix, hes a terrible shitty person who hurt me when i was vulnerable and in need, i feel taken advantage of, like i was just some toy to use and throw away, and he almost seems to enjoy my suffering, i cry about him every few days, look at the memories we made together, he was such an important part of my life, he was the best part of my life, the only thing i had to look forward to every week, honestly without him i dont even know if i’d be alive, and to him i was just some weird obsessed creepy trans girl.

i’ve texted him a few times since then, he’s never replied, i miss him a lot, but idk if i can take him back anymore without being scared of getting hurt again.

and i think thats the whole story of felix and i, i fucking loved him to death, and sometimes still do, but he treated me in ways that im not even sure are normal or not anymore, i want him back so badly, id do anything for him, but i hate him, he’s a terrible person who deserves to feel the loneliness ive gone through for almost 20 years

i guess the only addition is that i ended up kinda crushing on rowan for like a good month or two, idk why

its not 4:54am and i need to write down all the shit i wanna bring up in therapy because thats something i need to pay more attention to