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jade-of-mourning · 4 years ago

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theformat wrote, "im floating with the birds im talking to the weeds look what youve done to me"

in which i spontaneously take several hours to translate nate’s awfully punctuated commentary on dog problems into Comprehensive English Words. partially so i can write my stupid essay on it for fun. but yes here you go, 4.2k words from a 2006 livejournal archive that i managed to snatch out of two saves. here’s a link if you want to read it from the source, but i’ll have you know it’s a nightmare. early 2000′s nate ruess learn how to type properly challenge.

theformat wrote,

[@ 2006-5-18 18:44:00]

"im floating with the birds im talking to the weeds look what youve done to me"

Hi,

Sitting on my couch, watching ESPN. Damn, it’s good to be home. Things have been pretty crazy the last 6 months. As a lot of you know, we were dropped by our label — we went and recorded a new record, labels became interested, [and] we decided to release it ourselves. We went on tour, and now I’m [...] home for the next week: my first week off in six months. What do I do?

Well, my roommate and I got memberships to the YMCA down the street from our house. It’s an amazing place. Downtown Phoenix is pretty much an amazing place. It’s not like the rest of the state — speaking of which, I’m declaring war on Scottsdale, it’s the opposite of Downtown Phoenix.

Anyways, so I wake up at 9am every morning. I don’t know what it is, really — I’ve been a "pro" musician for about 3 years now, [and] we are supposed to wake up at 11 or 12. I know some dudes that wake up at 1, but no; since I’ve been home the last few days, I’ve been going to bed at 1 and waking up at 9. My roommate has a job, [so] I think it has to do with that.

See, there are 3 showers total in our house. I have the big bedroom, so I have the big shower, [and] since I’ve been off on tour and recording, he has gotten used to the nice shower in my room (Which is fine — anyone that’s gotten close to me knows I’m not too fond of showers, so it’s not like I use it that much). So every morning around 8:45, I wake up to my door opening and my roommate going through my room to use the shower.

You know what it’s like when you’re half asleep but you want to act like you’re awake so as not to freak someone out with all the crazy babble, but you just end up saying all the same crazy babble? I do that every morning. I turn and look at him and try to act like I wasn’t just dreaming about tootsie rolls and parrots that shatter like glass. "Hey [Roommate's Name], that was some game last night" [is what usually] comes out of my mouth — something to that extent — and I think he feels sorry for me, but continues to walk right into my bathroom, and use the shower.

At this point, I’m awake. I usually have to pee, and I have to then use his restroom. It’s a terrible swap, and it always ends with me wide awake on my front porch (har har) smoking a cigarette and wondering how the hell I’m gonna fall back asleep when the air conditioning is broken. Ah, what a wonderful life at home, [but] that’s the weird thing — I love it. Now we wake up and we go to the [YMCA]. We run, we play basketball, we jump in the pool, we play pool basketball, we get yelled at for dunking the ball. We don’t use soap before we go into the sauna, and the night usually ends with a poker tournament. This is the life I love to live when I’m away from the road. It too is the opposite of Scottsdale. It’s who I am, [and] it’s pretty much who I’ve become.

See, for the last 23 years, it’s been about the highs and the lows for me. I’ve got an addictive personality, [so] I stay away from a lot of things because of this; however, when I find things, I get generally excited. I go crazy. It’s all I think about and all I do for the next howeverlong. For the first 23 years, it was either talking non-stop or locking myself in my room. It’s either great or terrible; not good or bad. Dog Problems changed that.

Initially, Dog Problems was supposed to be that — the original concept of Dog Problems was to be 2 sides of music, the first half taking over where Interventions [+ Lullabies] had left off: "We'll be together in the morning…"

We weren’t, in fact. We were over before Interventions was even released. We were over two weeks after it was recorded, [and] I spent the next 2 years feeling terrible. We got back together… we broke up… we got dogs… we broke up… we got back together and got dogs…

I was still miserable, but I wanted Dog Problems to get me through everything. I wanted it to help me, not anyone else — just me. The first side was supposed to be me down in the dumps [and] everything that went down: how the two of us were dealing with it differently, [and] the second half was supposed to be a realization.

The first inkling of realization was a day [when] we were on tour. We were all laughing about something I’m sure Marko or Adam said. Here I was supposed to be depressed, but the fact that I can spend all of my days in different states with my best friends, all of us doing what we love — that was major! Then my mom called… I’ve got my parents! My friends! What else could I possibly need?

At that point, I felt as if a relationship in a Michael Bolton sort of way didn’t mean anything. It was the people you surrounded yourself with — those were the people that made the difference, and that was going to be side two. I was convinced that when I just closed my eyes and thought about the wonderful people around me, I was going to be great. Not good, [but] great.

I didn’t get that far, no. I got back into the relationship.

I was sure it was going to work. At that point, life would be perfect, and we all want perfection right? [But] things went right back to far from perfect. Things went to terrible. I couldn’t stop feeling sorry for myself, but I had a concept. At that point, I figured that even by singing and recording these positive songs I was going to feel better, so Sam showed me what was then just a short acoustic guitar version of Snails.

This was it. This was my first chance to prove to myself that life can be beautiful. The thing is, I had never been more miserable. I remember writing the lyrics to Snails: my roommate was at work, I was on the bed, on my night stand was a giant bottle of booze, and somewhere off in California she wasn’t calling me back on a Friday night. So I went to work, listened [to it] over and over. I wanted to get it right; I wanted to be positive. I passed out, then I woke up the next morning [with a] big headache (P.S. drinking is not really that cool; it’s cool when you condemn it for the first 22 years of your life, then it becomes not cool, then it becomes ok when you moderate yourself) and I started writing everything positive I could think of. [...] Snails was, in Sam’s mind, supposed to be a 2 minute kid’s song, [but] I wrote so much that there was no going back. I thought that was it — Snails solved all of my problems.

It didn’t get that far either. Nothing could shake the depression, [and] I really started to worry about myself. Here I want to feel great, but I only feel terrible, [and] a few months later it got really really bad. I had to go to my parents house that night, I didn’t want to be at my house. I wanted to feel like a kid.

It’s funny how we always want to be adults when we're younger. We want to drive cars, we want to have girlfriends. I still didn’t consider myself an adult — all I wanted was to come home, be tucked in, know that everything was going to be alright. I woke up the next day [and found out] she met someone new. I’ve got to figure myself out…

In the meantime, we've got 4 songs we are recording over at our friend Aaron’s house (he is an amazing producer and [...] musician, and his house and his roommates have gotten me through a lot of tough times. They’re some of the only people I know who would rather spend their Saturdays getting dinner and watching a movie instead of going to a party. I like that). All of this turmoil in my relationship was going on at the time, and I was trying to write side two [but] I couldn’t. There was more fuel to side one. These songs have to be done, so I wrote about what I knew, and at that point I knew how to feel terrible.

So much for side two. Dog Problems is going to be one giant mess of depression and "look what you’ve done to me".

Atlantic got those four songs, as well as a few others. They were not psyched, to say the least, but some people at the label actually cared about it enough to say "go record". So we were able to pick our producer, we met with a few people, talked to a few more. Things were looking up. Dog Problems was going to happen.

I remember meeting Steve McDonald at his house — Sam and I were excited to be [there] because we knew his wife Anna would probably be there. Anna was the lead singer/songwriter for a band we used to obsess about called "That Dog", her brother was one of the ten drummers in the world that I actually liked, so Steve couldn't be so bad. And he wanted to produce our record, so he had to be pretty cool!

He was just that, and more. Sam and I were eating every word that came out of his mouth. He had stories; he was young, hip, energetic, and yet very all knowing. We saw someone that was going to let us do whatever we wanted to do, and in the meantime he was going to make us laugh and make sure we didn't lose our minds. From that point on, I knew there was someone I could always trust. I made a friend pretty quick.

Things were moving forward. Steve McDonald was to be the producer. I hated Los Angeles so there was no way in hell I was going to record there, [so] we decided Palm Springs would be perfect. Weird, but perfect. I had a phone conversation with Steve that night and we were finalizing everything. I was going to call Atlantic in the morning and let them know just how everything was going to work, [but] I didn't get that far.

I was sleeping in a blowup bed at the house when my phone rang. I didn’t wake up and answer like it was my roommate and he was coming into my room to use my shower, [because] this call felt different. Right away, I was awake.

It was our manager: "You’ve been dropped."

When I heard that, the first thought going through my mind wasn’t "Oh man...how are we going to be famous now and make boat loads of money?" It was more like "fuck...but Dog Problems. We were supposed to go make Dog Problems."

The thing is, Atlantic wasn’t into Dog Problems. They were into whatever it was they thought we were. Never had The First Single made more sense — what was supposed to be a song about getting the band started and doing something with it had actually turned into a song about how stuck we were in the labels eyes because of the song. I was past that; we're proud of something we wrote when we were 19 and 20, but when I think of music, I think of progression.

I think of all of the wonderful records I had been introduced to when I had nothing to do riding in a van. I think of all of the new influences, all the instruments, all of the "How did they do that?" And I think of how much it gets me through everything.

Music has been the consecutive[ly] great[est] thing in my life. It’s been that one thing, and with Dog Problems, it wasn’t about "I want everyone to sing along because I can write a catchy song." It was about feeling. It was paying tribute to all of the bands that we obsessively listened to. It was for Harry Nilsson and Van Dyke Parks, it was for Jellyfish and XTC. It was our way of saying thanks for making our lives better, whether it be lyrically or musically. It was never about being something, being told something, and sticking to something. It was an adventure, for the artist and for the listener.

[And] they didn't get that. They wanted the old record, the old songs, just with different words and a few different chords here and there. They didn’t care about Snails or Dog problems [or] what it meant to write those songs. They knew it wasn't going to be huge; the guitars were not big enough (if big guitars are your thing that’s fine, it’s just not really our thing right now); it wasn’t going to be competitive, and so they dropped us. And rightfully so: we weren’t going to change, and obviously the major label business is never going to change, [so] now it comes down to who goes down first. And we weren’t ready to go down.

Sam and I had conversations about it, whether the business end of things have been fucking with us so much that we'll never be sane enough to just enjoy it. We thought about getting out — it wasn’t [be]cause we hated each other, or the songs; it was because we hated the business.

Steve called to let us know that he was still onboard, label or not, [and] we let him know we were still on board. We were going to make this record, [and] I was going to feel great! But the record was going to cost something. How could we afford it?

We were lucky that we had a management company like Nettwerk. Not only are they the most forward-thinking music business people around, [but] they’re also (for the most part) Canadian. Oh, and they care a shit load about the music we make. They could have waited for the ship to sink, but they told us they would pay for the record if need be. Fortunately, we were able to get money for getting dropped — Atlantic actually paid us to leave, so we could afford the recording ourselves. The only stipulation was that it had to be done quicker, and when you want something quick, you have to go to the "right here, right now" capitol of the world: Los Angeles. I was a little irked at the thought at first, then Steve said it was his personal goal to make LA a wonderful city for me. Like I said, I would jump off a cliff if Steve said it was the best way to get coffee, but I wasn’t jumping off of cliffs. I was too excited to make Dog Problems, [so] LA it was.

Sam and I moved to the "Silver Palace" in Silverlake California in the middle of December. We found an amazing studio in Burbank, California and an amazing engineer in Ken Sluiter, and our goal was to just do everything free from a record label and someone constantly messing up the recording process by saying things like "that’s not high octave enough". The only pressure we had at all was from our manager saying "You have a tour you accepted in March, [so] get it done by then.” Other than that, it was me, Sam, Steve, and Ken working 13 hours a day for 6 days a week.

It became our lives we were putting so much of ourselves into. Everyone that worked and played on the record was the same way when they were there contributing. I would leave the studio at 2 in the morning and wake up at 10 to be at the studio by 11. There was no free time — the four of us were so invested in this. We all bought into the concept.

In the meantime, things outside of the studio were getting interesting. We had a lot of labels calling and constantly asking about it. During one week of recording, I remember at least 3 different label people coming down to the studio. Our minds weren’t made up as to what we were doing with the record once it was recorded — all we wanted to do was finish it — but we kept our options open and let people sit in the big chair and listen to what we had been working on. The response was overwhelmingly positive, but we didn’t really think about it too much beyond the compliments we were receiving. Sam and I got used to LA — I was 10 minutes away from where I had been the previous summer when I was back "on" in my “on and off" relationship. I was ten minutes from her, she was calling every day, I was singing about it… but how was it not getting to me? Why did I not care?

My phone was off. I woke up in Silverlake one morning and started wondering why for the last month I had a smile on my face. Sure, I was down at times, but the thing that had been bringing me down for 3 years was now the last thing on my mind. Apparently, it had been that way for awhile. Something that took 3 years to get over… I was finally just okay with it. No big realization — just the fact that things happen. People make mistakes. And I came out of it alright. I was good; not great… I was good, and that felt good.

I wasn’t looking for great anymore. I was okay. The last song on Dog Problems is all about that. Here, this record was supposed to be the downs, and the ups, and it ended with the middle: the realization that I don’t need to be talking; I don’t need to be locked in my room — I need to enjoy what’s going on around me. And if things go wrong, they go wrong. There’s always tomorrow.

Dog Problems means so much to me in so many different ways. I’ve never been more proud of anything in my life. I cried so many times during the making of the record. All the money I had spent on therapy, and all I had to do was go make a record, realize that I’m alright, and realize that I made something that I’ll forever be proud of.

Shit… the record was supposed to be about how California can change you for the worse, [but] it played a huge part in doing the opposite!

So as we were putting the finishing touches on the record (all our friends came in and recorded! A ton of people we admired came and worked on the record! All of their responses were so positive that it's hard not to get an ego about it. These are the people I worship. They’re the ones I wanted to pay tribute to, and they think we've made something unique and special. It’s like Michael Jordan telling you that you have a nice jump shot (no more sports references… I swear I’m done)) and we started to think about what we were going to do with it. How we were going to release it. Labels were getting pretty into it, and we knew we would have to make a decision soon.

After much debate and discussion, we decided that the record was something we had made completely on our own, so why not release it completely on our own? Nettwerk was going to take care of the distribution so it would have a major label distro. It would be inside all of the Best Buys; what more did we want? We didn’t want a big fat check — we did that last time. It made us miserable, and nothing came out of it. Barely anyone at the labels helped us, we weren’t making music videos, our songs weren’t on the radio, so why would we take their criticism? After all, everything that we’ve done — any success we’ve had is from being real people who make music. From showing up to play, from 3 years on the road.

On Interventions [+ Lullabies], there might have been an Elektra logo on the back of the record, but it ended right there. We were the ones SHOWING people who we were. I wouldn’t have it any other way — no one knows us better than ourselves, so why not release it ourselves? To me, it’s not only a testament to the hard work we put into the band (Mike, Don, Marko, Toco, everyone else involved in putting these songs to life — you guys are the best thing we have. It’s pretty special when your best friends are some of the most talented musicians), but I really feel like the people who come to our shows are such good people that they don’t give a fuck what label it’s on.

They are there because we are doing something positive, and because we care about them as much as they care about us. So for the time being we've said "fuck the middleman": we're the only people we can blame at this point. I’m so tired of even talking about major labels and the split and everything like this. The music is the only thing I care about. Dog Problems is the only thing I care about, so why let someone else ruin it?

The Vanity Label was born.

The record got finished. We had no time to rehearse, and we had to go right back out to tour. Our first show before the Motion City Soundtrack tour was in Nashville — I remember the last time we were in Nashville, there were about ten kids. Reuben’s accomplice kept asking them why they hate whales, so we figured why not go there and get some of the rust out of the way. After all, we haven't toured in a year so there should be like 3 kids there; we can mess up if need be.

Unfortunately, we were not allowed to mess up. On a Sunday night in Nashville, with Ted Leo playing across the street (I <3 Ted), our first headlining show outside of Arizona in almost a year was over sold out. What the fuck happened?

We thought we were going to have to play for another 3 years just to get back to where we were when we left, and yet it’s sold out on a Sunday night? It didn’t end there either — the whole tour went like that… night after night ("nite after nite?"). I couldn't believe it. As if having Dog Problems wasn’t enough, now we have people showing their support in the most positive way: coming to the shows, being there from the only thing they knew before. Those two months were such good months. It was the last thing I expected. Thanks so much to all the bands that played with us, and thanks so much for everyone that came to the shows and sang along. We'll be back in July.

In the meantime, things were going great on the Vanity Label front. Business actually felt natural. We are shooting a video with the directors we had always dreamed of doing a video with (it won’t be serious...no pouty face). There were magazines like AP and online magazines like AP taking notice, supporting the whole idea and concept. We actually took press photos. I’ve never been through any of this before, it’s exciting. I don’t think it’s going to change who we are, not one bit, but it’s still exciting to see people who can help out actually help out.

So where does that leave me now? Sitting on my bed. I’ve rambled for hours, the air still doesn't work, and I’ve been told that Dog Problems (something that isn't supposed to come out till July) has been leaked. Not the best news when you just got out of the pool, but it happens. I freaked out at first — I thought I was going to lock myself in my room. After all, this is something that we spent over two years making. It’s something that you have to take the time�� listen to in headphones… play loud… listen to in order of the tracks… the artwork… Sam did the best artwork he has ever done. The packaging is something we paid extra for because Sam’s concept was so brilliant, and now… it’s leaked on the internet? I was locking my door, then our manager called.

"Hello?"

"We're releasing it on the website today."

"Wow."

So, here goes. You’ve read enough. I shouldn’t have to go on about it anymore, but I will say, if you wanna wait for the full hard copy release then do so. It’s July 11 — we are gonna be touring right after that — but if you want to get it now,.please do it by purchasing it right here. We released it, it’s our money, it’s our little baby — you should take the time to listen to it all the way through, free of distraction. You should turn the songs into your own. It’s an adventure, and it’s something that we put everything we have into; and if anyone deserves it first, it’s you guys who have been here with us all along.

Without further ado...

"Dog Problems"

- Nate

#dog problems #the format #nate ruess #basically: dog problems; a lyrical & musical & emotional masterpiece #i honestly feel like i don't even need to write that essay anymore wtf #4.2k words baby that took me ages to edit bc he has the WORST typing habits #every half statement is interspersed with ellipses and there are no apostrophes and everything was no caps lmaooo #moving on #this is absolutely my favorite album ever and holy shit #finally reading this post in its entirety gave me so much more insight it's wild #i'm like so fucking emotional help jhfhbjgfhsdkg #i'm just glad he's doing alright now and having a good time even if music isn't a big part of his life anymore #and i also feel like i understand the breaking up of fun. a lot more as well #hell i just really understand nate ruess in general a lot more and it's really nice #bc he's been my favorite artist for a while and i know a lot of people shit on him for his personality but like. fuck off people are people #and u know. if work permits is my favorite song so hearing shit about it makes me happy #truly makes me appreciate the album more than i already did #and makes me get why it's the only part of his discography he still actually likes #even though OBJECTIVELY SPEAKING they are all Excellent but okay then nate

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pokeexehasstoppedworking · 4 years ago

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Love Doesn’t Do Encores Ch2 Welcome To The Wonderful World Of Pokemon

(Semi-songfic chapter. The song used is I'll Be The One by NerdOut on youtube. I don't own a single thing and all rights and credits go to the original artists. Im only using it for the song-fic chapter. Link to song here.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5PjLhNsnaM

"BBBBBBBBAAAAAAAA!!!!"

A sheep's cry pierced through the air as the darkness swallowing you shifted. You groaned and the first sensation your body felt was the softness of cushions under your sore, stiff body. Your....bed? Thank goodness! You were sure that the nightmare you had the other night was one of the worse ones you could've ever had. The soft groans of your own voice reached your ears and like any other typical morning, you begrudingly got up. You still had college-..THAT'S RIGHT! You still had to get to dorm registration on time! Oh you hoped you didn't oversleep again! You went to move your arm- You sucked in a hissed breath of pain through your teeth as pain throbbed from the sore limb making you flinch and your eyes blink open. The first thing you noticed past your blurry vision was that it was still fairly dark. Not completely dark but as if the sun was just starting to rise or a faint light in the room was turned on. Confused, you blinked even more as your vision cleared up even more and noticed the white ceiling in the dim lighting. You blinked at the ceiling before slowly turning your head to the left to see what was around you. From where you were laying, you could see a pink wall, and on the wall was a window framed by pink curtains. The view outside was a forest and beyond that was the twilight sky with the sun just starting to peek out letting light go out to the world. Next to it was a couple paintings, a woonden cabinet under the window with a few things on it, a TV, a white radiator, coffee table, and a plant in a pot. This-....

This wasn't your house at all. No room in your home looked like this. Then...where were you?

You sat up- A hiss escaped your lips as a spike of pain and soreness ran down your back and you winced. ...You..Tried to sit up but only managed to prop yourself onto your elbows as you took a better look around the room you were in. Taking notice that the couch you laid on was a green color. As you did you noticed a white door right across the room from you, and the sight of another uncarpeted room from you to the left. Along with another bookshelf and radiator alongside the wall behind the couch. YEP. Definately not your living room. How did you get here? Your f/c eyes looked down at your body and you noticed you still had on your fuzzy but now dirty pjs and what looked like was a home made quilt was thrown over your body to keep you warm and a few patches of your exposed skin was covered in bruises and small scratches from last night- Wait! So it wasn't a dream!? That giant crow thing did chase you!? Then how did you get in a nest!? Where were you!? Who brought you inside!? Were you still just dreaming?! That's it! This is nothing but a wild dream and you're going to wake up any moment. The sound of a door from the next room over opening and closing made you jump and turn your head towards the noises. There was some shuffling from over there before footsteps made their way towards you. Your eyes widened and breath hitched in your throat as you could only lay there and watch as a shadow danced across the wall in the dim light and soon after a person appeared head looking in your direction.

"Oh goodness. You're finally awake," came what sounded like a middle aged ladies voice and as the person stepped into the morning light coming in from the room you finally caught a glimpse of the person. What you were met with was a woman who looked around the same age as your mother. Oval shaped glasses sat in front of her brown eyes as her grey hair was pulled over in a ponytail sitting upon her left shoulder, tied back with a green ribbon. As she stepped closer to you you took notice of the flower printed gumboots making the heavy footsteps and the plain grey t shirt and long overalls adorned her body. "I was worried you might've been really hurt from how we found you." You didn't say anything as she kneeled down next to you and gave you a concerned look over, reaching a hand out but not touching you. "How are you feeling? You're not hurt are you?"

"Uh..." You shook your head finally coming back into the moment and reached a hand up to rub your head. "N-No. I-I'm alright." Your eyes again looked around the room. "Where am I?"

She sighed in relief. "Thank goodness. Oh. Where are my manners? You're in my house. Munchlax found you passed out by the garden fence and I was worried you were hurt. I almost thought about calling the doctor, but luckily you woke up shortly after we brought you inside." She smiled wider in a motherly way. "Wait. How rude of me. I didn't even ask your name."

"Uh..My name is Y/n, Miss," you answered back before deciding to fully sit up. Which you immediately regretted as you hissed leaning your body up. The lady watching with a concerned look as you sorely sat up all the way and looked back to her. "How did I get here?"

"I brought you inside, which wasn't easy," she sighed reaching a hand up to straighten her glasses, "But if you mean how you got by my garden, I can't really say. I only found you after my munchlax pointed you out."

"I-.." Your mind rewound to last night remembering the giant crow thing that you had ran away from in the middle of the night through the darn woods. "I was chased! B-By this giant black bird thing with wings!"

The lady's brow rose. "A..bird? Well I'm not sure what a 'bird' is, but there is a wild flock of corvinight in the woods out back. They're very territorial of that area. It's the reason I don't let my children wonder too far in there." A small thing popped up next to her and gave off a small puppy growl sound. "Oh look who finally came in."

You jumped and blinked at the-....the-...whatever this small cat-..dog-...bear thing was that was looking up at you both before you pointed at it. "W-W-What the heck is that?!"

"Oh this is my pokemon." She smiled happily at the small thing before petting it between the ears. It gave off a pleased growl as she did. "He likes to follow me around my garden and sneak veggies when I'm not looking, but it looks like today he found something else. Isn't that right, Munchy?" It growled again happily at the affection she gave it.

"Wait. D-D-Did you say-...pokemon!?"

Pokemon!? As in-...The game pokemon!? No. That can't be right, this couldn't be happening! There was absolutely no way you were in a fictional world of a video game and anime series right now! Your eyes briefly went back to the munchlax who tilted it's head back at you curiously and blinked like how a dog would. ....If you weren't seeing it with your own two eyes, and your pain proving you were in fact awake, you would've sworn you were still dreaming!

The lady nodded. "Yes. Have you never seen a munchlax before?"

"Uh! N-No no! I have! Must've just...slipped my mind!," you quickly fumbled with your words and the lady hummed.

"Well, it seems since you were chased by a corvinight I guess you would seem a little frazzled. Do you want me to call you a doctor or anyone?"

"N-No! R-Really I'm ok." Even if she called a doctor you really didn't have any money on you to pay for it anyways. "C-Could you tell me where I am-" You paused...Wait. What were places in the pokemon series called again. "Uh...Region! Y-Yeah! Could you tell me what region I'm in?"

Her brow rose up more as she looked at you. "We're in the Galar Region. You don't know where you are?" You shook your head no. "Are you sure you're ok? You didn't hit your head did you?"

Galar Region. Why did that sound so familiar to you? "Uh-...W-Well you see the thing is-...I-...Um..I-I'm-" Your mind raced with some kind of excuse to give the woman. You couldn't just say you were inside of a video game! She'd think you were crazy or really did hit your head. Although you might've taking that tumble from the tree last night. "I'm uh-...Just visiting here! Yeah! I-..M-Must've forgotten because of last night."

The lady stared at you for a moment longer before slowly nodding seeming to understand. "I see. I guess anyone would forget certain things if they were chased by a flock of corvinight." She finally stood up from her kneeled position next to you with a smile. "Well I'm glad you're alright. Although it looks like you had quite the fright by how messy you are. Would you like some breakfast? I imagine you must be hungry."

"I-I mean- N-N-No thanks! I couldn't possibly ask you to do that for me when you've already done so much for me," you insisted not wanting to overstep your welcome.

"I insist. It's the least I can do for you. By the looks of it you lost your things to the wild flock." She gestured to your body and you looked down at yourself. Oh...She was right. You really didn't have anything other than the clothes on your back didn't you? Great- A sound of thunder from your stomach made you sheepishly look down at your own stomach's betrayl of showing your hunger but she just chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes then." She smiled. You went to interject again before hissing as your sore muscles pinched in pain, making her tilt her head at you again. "Oh dear. It seems you were a little more roughed up than we thought. Why don't you go clean yourself up?" She gestured to the white door you had noticed earlier. "There's a shower and bathroom through there. You can clean up and I can let you borrow an old pair of clothes from the back closet."

"Oh NO!" You held up your hands to stop her. "Breakfast is more than enough. I insist!"

"And then you'd go around all covered in dirt with filthy clothes looking like you're homeless?" She asked raising a brow and you took a moment to pause and look down at your dirt and grass stained covered pjs..Oh yeah. You really didn't have any of your other things from your home did you? "Mm hm. That's what I thought. Besides. Like I said it's not a problem."

Well considering you didn't really have any other options at the moment- You sighed and nodded your head in agreement with her to which the lady smiled and again directed you towards the washroom of the home. Well, it's not like you had anything better to do..Except hiss and groaned in pain as every muscle in your body ached trying to move with you literally forcing yourself to toss the quilt off and force your sore legs off the couch and onto the cool floor. Hissing and reaching up to carefully massage your dull aching muscles in your arms and neck and shoulders. Getting up was another thing in of itself. You felt like you did a ten mile hike with how sore your body was, but never the less you willed your self to shuffle towards the washroom. On the way there the lady had come back as you opened the white door and held out an old shirt and more overalls and explained that they were an old pair and she really didn't mind giving them to you when you tried to resist her kindness once again, but you ended up relenting and you ended up taking them into the bathroom with you. You were happy you did in the end because you ended up discovering more than you'd think.

The warm water of the shower helped to release more tension from your aching muscles and while scrubbing off any dirt it was like something clicked in your mind that halted your movements for a while. Pokemon-....You were INSIDE the world of POKEMON! Or having a very very very realistic dream or hallucination. But HOW!?...Well you guessed that question wasn't on the table for now. The more important one was how to get back!? You paused there for a little while pondering over all the questions and info you had just gotten in your head. Ok. Relax. You took a deep breath and exhaled trying to relax yourself and mind. Ok. Don't freak out. The first thing you rationalized was to figure out where you were, then you could go from there. The woman said this was the 'Galar Region' right? Alright. But since this is Pokemon, does that mean you were in the show or one of the games? And why did Galar sound so familar. A memory suddenly flashed by in your mind and you gasped as the memory of being back home. Of the box that knocked over and seeing the games and old consoles tumble out. Of the pokemon game case: Pokemon Sword and Shield- HOW COULD YOU HAVE MISSED THAT!? It was the very last video game you had completed and it took place in the GALAR REGION!! You wanted to smack yourself as everything came flooding back and you groaned. Great! Well at least you knew where you were now, nevermind the fact that going into a video game should've been inpossible unless dreaming. Now that you knew where you were...to an extent, you could try to process what to do next after this-....Wait a moment....Now that you thought about it. This home and that woman seemed familiar too. Had you seen them before? You shook your head, deciding it was enough thinking to yourself and got out. Thankful for the clean change of clothes you slipped on once dried although your (f/c) hair was still sticking onto you slightly wet. But the surprises didn't end there however. As soon as you excited the washroom you were met with another person just sitting on the couch, she looked up as soon as you opened the door and the both of you stared at each other.

You blinked in surprise and looked at her. Not expecting a person sitting there. The girl was younger than you by a few years, looked about 13-14 years old if you had to take a guess. Her dark brown hair was in a short hair cut above her shoulders with matching dark brown eyes, her body adorned a pink dress, grey jacket, green socks with brown boots, and a green beany on her head with a white pom pom sticking up from it. In her hands was a phone and the noises of a crowd cheering wildly came from it in the time you two stared at each other. Presumably what she was watching, and in front of her on the coffee table was now a tea cup on a saucer pan. Presumably what she had been drinking.

Eventually she asked, "Who are you?"

You jumped and blinked at the question. "Uh...I-I'm Y/n. Uh...I just....W-What's your name?," you asked back.

"Gloria. This is my house-"

"Oh there you are." You both jumped and turned around seeing the woman with the glasses once again making an appearance, Munchlax waddling at her side eyeing the plate she was holding in her hands and she sent another smile at you. "I see you finished just in time, and you met my daughter." She then looked to the young girl who looked back at her apparent mother. "Now don't be rude to our guest. She's already frazzled enough being chased by corvinight."

"Corvinight?," Gloria asked eyes widening a bit as her mother nodded. "Oh wow. That's a bad experience."

"And now you know why I never let you kids in those woods." She turned back to you and held out the plate. "Here. It's nothing fancy but it's good enough."

You agreed and nodded reaching for it. "Thank you." The plate as you could tell had a few eggs and some meat on it, but you didn't mind as your stomach rumbled and you happily ate it with the fork you were provided. As you ate, you noticed the sunlight through the window had gotten much brighter. It still looked early tho. Maybe seven, seven thirty in the morning. "This is good. Thank you." You complimented to the woman who smiled back at you.

"I'm glad you like it. I'm sorry I couldn't offer you more."

"N-No. You've already been too kind. I couldn't ask for anymore anyways."

"Well, if you wait around a moment longer I can at least get your other clothes all cleaned up before you go. It'd be cruel to let you go out in that condition, and you can keep the ones you're wearing now. I insist!" She cut you off as you went you counter. "I wouldn't let my own children go out with such things and it'd be cruel of me to do the same to you. You did seem like you lost everything during your scuffle last night."

That made you pause...That's right. You didn't literally have anything other than the very clothes on your back! No money. No phone. No car. Nothing!! And you doubted you could've called anyone with your phone anyways if you still had it. They were all a world- or game- away from you. ...So it's better to take what she offered right?

"O-Ok. If you insist."

She smiled. "That's the spirit. How are you feeling anyhow?"

"Better thanks. The shower helped," you answered before taking another bite of eggs.

"Im glad. Why don't you two sit down and talk while I finish up cleaning those clothes of yours?" She gestured to Gloria who shrugged now with a small smile before looking back to the screen of her phone, before turning and walking out of the room towards where ever you guessed she was cleaning your clothes.

You watched her go before you looked back towards the couch and the girl who was excited watching the screen the cheering noises were coming from. ....Gloria?..GLORIA!! You recognized her now! In the game you could chose between two trainers and considering if you didn't rename them or change their looks to yours, they were either Gloria or Victor. And that woman was their mother in game!! Now you recognized her! Which means in front of you was one of the playable trainers you played as during the game! So you guessed you really were in the game. You stared at her a bit more before clearing your throat grabbing her attention.

"Uh...S-So-..." What do you say to a video game character you play as?..You pointed towards the couch. "W-Would you mind if I sit down?"

She shrugged. "Sure. I don't mind!," she replied before looking back to the screen. You watched a moment longer before deciding to slowly walk over and sat down next to her- "YES!!" She suddenly yelled out doing a fist pump catching you off guard almost dropping your fork. "LEON WON!! Not that I'm surprised of course." She said to no one. "He's the champion for a reason."

You blinked and paused for a moment....Champion..Leon?? OH YEAH! Wow. It had been a while since you played this game. Couldn't remember everything in one day you guessed. Leon was the reigning champion of Galar's gym leaders and pokemon League. You wracked your brain for as much info you could remember at that moment about this Leon, but you weren't doing a good job on it except that you vaugely remember he had a horrible sense of direction and he was supposedly really nice. Your eyes tilted to her phone. Maybe if you looked?

"What are you watching?,'' you asked nodding to the screen and she turned smiling at you widely.

"It's not what but who!" She excitedly pointed her screen to you and you blinked. The sounds of people cheering greeted you as did the sight of some purple haired man waving to the crowds around him....and you blinked at the sight. Flashbacks from last night spearing into your mind like lightning. "HEY! I know that guy!"

"Who doesn't? Leon's been champion for years running! He's like one of the kindest most strongest trainers out there!," she spoke to you happily. "This was from earilier this morning during his latest match. I was asleep but thank goodness for news websites!" She brought the screen back to her again as the video stopped. "Raihan was challenging him for champion title again. But it's always so cool to see them both."

Raihan? Well now that you knew the game you were in you could definately remember some parts including some of the characters. Raihan including. "Isn't that the guy who flirts with everyone and takes too many selfies?"

"...PFFFFT- AHAHA!!" Gloria turned her head with a snort and a few bits of laughter. You weren't expecting that...but smiled at the light hearted laughter from the teen before she looked back at you with a bright smile. "I g-guess you could say that. Hehe. Although I haven't heard anyone refer to him like that before." She shook her head no. "Nah. Raihan's the strongest out of the Galarian Gym Leaders. Other than Leon of course. If Leon wasn't so powerful Raihan would've become champion instead, but since he is Raihan is the top among the gym leaders and likes to challenge Leon a lot for the title...Despite losing all the time. He likes to document everything and posts it all to his own website for everyone to see! ...He's actually a pretty fun guy by what Hop and Leon have told me."

You nearly choked on another bite of your food as you turned to look at her again. "....Wait. You MET Leon?"

"Well, yeah. I knew him ever since we were all little. He's from here you know."

"No I didn't know. Uh...Mind telling me where we are?"

She blinked. "You really don't know?"

"Corvinight chasing can make someone lose a sense of direction,'' you answered as an excuse.

" You're in Postwick. A farming town since days of old where people and their pokemon live in close harmony...or that's what they put on the post cards for the few tourists." She shrugged. "Not really an amazing place, but it's got pretty wildlife and lots of wooloos. So I guess I can't complain. Not when I'm about to start and finally challenge this year's arena battles for the title!"

You blinked. "The title?"

"For the Champion? How do you not know that?" She rolled her eyes. "Not everyone can challenge Leon for the official title other than a few with special titles themselves like Raihan, since he's considered the top strongest gym leader. But there's also the arena battles for the new trainers that begins once a year. It's so special you have to buy a pass just to join or else you can't and only after you get the gym badges before the actual event you can battle in. It's the Chairman's way of making sure only the best trainers can try to earn the title and battle Leon themselves."

"Wow," you muttered. You vaugely remembered all of that from the game but actually hearing Gloria explaining it seemed like it was much more harder outside your gaming experience.

"Oh yeah! And ever since Leon took the champion title from the previous one, he's been unbeatedable for YEARS! Last year he actually broke Galar's record for the longest standing champion yet!" She pointed towards the ceiling and smiled with a determined look in her brown eyes! "And when I get out there Ill show Leon and them all my years of training paid off! Victor's going to be so jealous!"

"Victor?" Wasn't that the name of the male trainer you could've played as in the game. "Uh...Where is he anyways?"

Gloria shrugged. "My brother was more interested in traveling and seeing things than battling. He left home on his own journey earlier this year but we keep in touch when we call or he sends us pictures."

Brother? So in the world you were sucked in Gloria and Victor are siblings rather than an only child the player could pick? Interesting. ..Was that the only change in the game? You tucked that info aside for later in case you needed it and nodded. The next few minutes were you and Gloria watching some more videos on the phone, the plate emptied soon after and placed on the coffee table next to the cup. Eventually Gloria pulled up a song and you instantly tilted your head towards it. The younger girl seemed to noticed the smile on your face now.

"Oh you like music?," she asked.

"Duh! It's like one of my most favorite things!,'' you comfirmed with a smile.

She smiled back. "Well then I don't suppose you know who Piers is do ya?"

Piers?...Piers. The name rung a bell, but you couldn't quite place a name to a face here. ..Wait a second- "Uh....He's one of the gym leaders right??"

"Yeah. Sadly not a lot of people know that or battle him really...In fact I don't think his gym badge is required at all to get into the champion cup?..But nevermind that. He's known throughout galar for something far more than just a Gym Leader! Most don't even know about the Gym Leader bit because of his other job!" She turned and began typing something into her phone.

Oh. So Piers was another gym leader huh? You really had forgotten a lot. Haven't you? "Other job?" You rose a questioning eye brow and Gloria finally pulled up a video and held up the phone to you.

A beat you had never heard began to play and she smiled widely. "Yeah! He's a rock star! The most popular in Galar! Watch and listen!"

On the screen was a stage. And on the stage was a band, but they were more hidden in the dark, the spot light mostly on a single person standing on stage and holding a mic to his mouth. His punk rock attire seemed to fit him well as he tapped his punk rock boots along with the music as it played. Long black and white bangs and hair flowed from his head as piercing blue eyes looked out at the crowd. Or whoever was filming.

"You know there's more to the chapter,'' the man sung out and you blinked at the sudden tender, gentle tone of the man it came from. There was a....an almost tired motion behind the tone, but you could've just been thinking wrong. "On the edge of the darkest day. To be the ultimate master. I'll take my story to any place. Jumped in a race, I was born to run! Fresh out the gate, I was born to run! I'm not look-ing back-wards! They'll yell my name through the stadiums when I'm gone!"

"Isn't he great?," Gloria asked and you blinked to her a bit in surprise, having been absorbed in the music for a bit. "I actually think this is one of his older songs, but he's always trying to put more out to attract attention."

You blinked but turned back to the man with piercing blue eyes as he continued.

"-I'll never be gone." There was a brief three second pause as he took a breath and closed hit eyes. "I'm. On. My. Way. A destiny as old as the sun! They'll. Stake. Their. Cla-a-aim. But I know that I'll be the one!" The beat suddenly picked up with a more rock theme mixed in and bright blue eyes popped back open as his soft expression from before turned into what you could only describe as Gloria's determined face from before as he sang after the brief pause for music. "But I know that I'll be the one!" Another brief pause of music as he began moving along to the beat. "But I know that I'll be the one!" Followed by another pause of music.

"Wow..He's really good." You spoke out loud not meaning too but Gloria nodded.

"I know! He's been singing for as long as Leon's been champion!"

Oh really? Man you really wished you had more time back home to listen to music instead of your mother constantly badgering you to study or work. ..But then real life wasn't like this. And any moment you were still expecting to wake up from your sleep with your mother demanding you get ready and head for the first day on Campus because you were late again.

"A legendary adventure. Out in the wild to prove myself. This power too high to measure. I'll go to battle, don't need no help!" He suddenly leaned the mic forward a bit repeating the chorus from earlier. "Jumped in a race I was born to run! Fresh out the gate! I'm not look-ing backpwards! They'll yell my name through the stadiums when I'm gone!" One hand darted out pointing up. "Straight to the top. Yeah. I'm. On. My. Way. A destiny as old as the sun. They'll. Stake. Their. Cla-a-aim." A smile graced his otherwise tired or determined face and you couldn't help but feel the happiness from it. "BUT I KNOW I'LL BE THE ONE!!" More rock now dropped in the back most likely from the band behind him, and he began moving more to the music. "But I know that I'll be the one!!.....But I know that I'll be the one! I'm! On! My! Way! A destiny old as the sun! They'll! Stake! Their! Cla-a-aim! But I know that I'll be the one!"

The music ended and you couldn't help but smile at the ending performace, the singer, Piers you guessed by what Gloria said lifting a hand to the watching crowd as they cheered. Piers huh? Hopefully you're old memories would come back soon enough to remember him and everyone else soon. Might be helpful.

"Thank you! Please give a round of applause for my marvelous band and consider visiting my own music capital Spi-" He spoke into the mic but you didn't get to hear him finish wait he was saying before Gloria pulled the phone away and turned off the video. A little disappointment filling your features at the end of the song.

"Wow...He's uh..a good singer,'' you tried complimenting to remain polite.

"HE IS! When I battle him on my way to victory Im totally asking him to sign something for me!" She smiled like a giddy teen girl her age would and you smiled. She seemed to have a lot more personality to her than her in game part you played as.

"Well it certainly sounds like you two are getting along." Both of you looked up and over to see that Gloria's mother had returned and in her hands was you could only describe as a very old worn looking back pack and a smile on her face as she walked in. "I hope I'm not intruding."

"Hey, Mum! Nah. I was just showing Y/n some music videos." She nodded to the bag. "Whatcha got there?"

"Y/n's clothes I promised, and Victor's old school bag." She smiled as she held it out to you. "Here. I figured it would be awkward for you just to carry a pair of pajamas under your arms while traveling."

You stared at the bag before you..but it was placed into your lap before you could protest. "A backpack too?! Ma'am. It's nice b-b-but I can't accept this."

"Think nothing of it. That old thing was taking up space anyways. Victor never wanted it back after he got a new one before he left and it's been collecting dust ever since in the closet. You'd be doing me more of a favor if you took it." She reassured. "I'd be much happier knowing it's being used than becoming Munchlax's next chew toy. Besides, if you're going to start traveling, you'll need something to carry all your essentials in." Said pokemon yawned from behind her as the munchlax walked over to a carpet near the white door to the washroom and flopped over in a position for a nap.

Well....when she put it like that, it'd be much more useful to have. An old back pack was enough for now. "I...Thank you so much! ..for all of this! Im really grateful, Ma'am."

"Like I said think nothing of it. If I had lost everything being chased down by a flock of giant corvinight, I would've wanted someone helping me in the same way. And I can tell you're a good person." She smiled before turning her attention to the dishes left on the coffee table and picking them up. "You better be ready Gloria. Today's your big start you know."

"I know! I was just relaxing a bit." Gloria smiled and her mother rose a brow.

"We'll make sure you're ready," she said before turning and walking off letting Gloria groan. Kinda reminded you of your ma a bit.

"Oh. Are you going somewhere today?," you asked looking back to Gloria who nodded.

"Yeah! The Champions Cup! It's finally back and I'm feeling pretty lucky this time around! But I'm kinda waiting for someone still."

That's right! In the game is started out with the weird dream you had last night, which you now realized must've been the match between Leon and Raihan who must've been that other guy with the orange head band from said dream, before Gloria or Vincent went on their journey in game with...with...Another kid you were sure but you couldn't remember who. You went to ask her for a moment but the sound of a doorbell made the two of you blink and look over as the door just opened and you blinked as another teen walked in.

"Hello, Hello!," a younger male voice chimed out as the door closed behind him as he looked around. Before catching sight of Gloria sitting in the next room over on the couch next to you smiling as she smiled back.

"HOP!," she chimed happily. And your eyes widened.

HOP! That was his name! The boy who might've been the partner of the main player with how close friends they were, and the Champion's younger brother if memory served you right. The boy smiled and walked towards you both but your eyes blinked and went down to the fluffy companion by the boy's side. It-...It looked like a cheep with grey braids. It baaed in greeting following it's you guessed master into the living room.

"Oh, that your new flash phone, Gloria?," Hop asked noticing the phone in her hands to which Gloria nodded with a hum. "Were you watching Lee's exhibition match on it?"

"Sure was!" She burst with happiness! "It was so cool how he defeated Raihan!"

"But you can't cheer him on with your hands full!," Hop insisted followed my an agreeing bleat from his ...sheep pokemon, "You know the only way to properly cheer on Lee would be with his famous Charizard pose!" He then struck a pose that looked slightly familiar to you with his hand up and head tilted down. Gloria giggling and smiling and you not helping the smile on your face that came. Hop broke away from the pose and smiled again at Gloria...before blinking over at the lady beside her who oh so happened to be you. "Oh. Is that your friend?"

Upon being gestured at you paused and looked over him. He wore a blue fur-rimmed jacket, with a black shirt and pants, the latter with two purple stripes on the sides, along with black, white, and purple colored shoes, and a green bag thrown over his shoulder. His eyes were a gold yellow with a darker complexion, and dark purple hair. Like a younger Leon almost now that you remembered. Gloria however jabbed a thumb behind her at you.

"Who this? This is Y/n. She was chased by a flock of corvinight last night and Mum found her passed out by the garden."

You felt kinda embarrased about letting the lie go further and found it a lil more embarrassing that they thought you were chased by a flock of giant bird brained pokemon and fainted by a fence-....But you guessed it was better than them thinking you were crazy if you had said they were characters in a video game and you were somehow teleported here from the real world. But the way Hop looked at you gave you a more guilty feeling.

"Wild Corvinight?," he asked wide eyed, "How did you meet a whole flock of corvinight?"

"Uh-...." You tried to think of a good excuse of why they would chase you other than 'I magically woke up in a tree and saw a giant crow'. You settled on. "Camping in the woods??"

"...You mean you actually went camping in the Slumbering Weald?," he asked and you could only nod. "How are you alive?! There's lots of different dangerous wild pokemon there! How could you not know?"

You shrugged. "W-Well...Im kinda new around here."

Before he could say anything else an older woman's voice caught his attention from behind him. "Hop!," Gloria's Mother greeted him with a bright smile, "Didn't expect to see you here today, Dear. Isn't today the big day?"

Hop smiled and put his hands behind his head. "Yeah! That's why I came running over to get Gloria! Never mind watching the match now. I've got it recording at home anyway. I record all my brother's matches." He turned from he smiling lady and turned to Gloria still sitting on the couch. "Come with me, Gloria! He should be here any minute!"

Gloria gasped. "REALLY!?"

Hop nodded back. "And Lee always brings presents when he visits, so I wouldn't forget that bag if I were you. Now I've got to run! See you at mine later!" He turned and waved a hand at you. "It was nice to meet you Ms. Y/n!"

You could only wave as he and his pokemon quickly turned and exited the house with another squeaky noise from the door and Gloria quickly fumbled with her phone, shoving it into her grey jacket's pocket as she got up. And you blinked.

"Hey, where are you going?," you asked.

"To see Leon with Hop!," she excitedly answered looking at you, "Hop's been friends with Victor and me like FOREVER! Not to brag but I've known and liked Leon even before he was cool and we're like siblings! But I haven't seen him in forever and now he's seeing us before we start our own journeys! Im so excited to see him again!" She quickly turned and started towards the door-

Only to be stopped by her mother's voice. "Rushing off in that state, Gloria?," he mother asked raising a brow, "Didn't Hop say you should bring your bag?"

Gloria blinked. "OH! Right! I forgot!"

Her mother chuckled. "I last saw it in your room. And don't forget to grab a hat for the weather."

"I already have my hat!," she retorted back but ran past her mother and through the kitchen into through a door with a slam to where you supposed where you room was. Her mother shaking her head as she did.

You slowly stood up from your place on the cough, back pack in your hands as you slowly stepped away and through the living room entrance by the front door just as her mother turned back to you.

"Um..Y-yeah. I think I should get going too." You started but really...you were just not wanting to take anymore space than you already had. "T-Thank you for the clothes...and the food. I really appreciated it."

She smiled and waved a hand. "Not to worry a bit. It was the least I could do. Thank you for being so polite." She paused and blinked at you though. "But have you figured out where you're going next?"

You paused at her words. You hadn't even thought of that!! What WERE you going to do now? It's not like you could waltz right on home when you didn't even know how to get back!! You didn't even know where to go from here?! So to answer her you shrugged.

"Travel around more...I suppose."

"Travel around Galar barefoot?," she asked gesturing to your feet and you followed her pointing at your feet. ...Oh right. No nothing also applies to no shoes either. And before you could reply, the lady shook her head before walking towards you. "Here. You can have my old gum boots until you can get something better." You blinked and followed her with your head as she made her way past you and over to the coats handing on the wall by the front door. Reaching down and picking up a pair of green gumboots that looked the same as the flower print ones she wore, minus the pretty patterns. With a smile she turned back to you and held them out to you. "Here. Ever since I got the new ones I haven't used these at all. They have a small hole in the bottom of the left one's sole that leaks water in but it should work for you considering you don't step in water or any puddles."

You gawked at her for a moment but she placed them into your arms without a second thought as you gaped at her like a goldfish. "W-WHAT?! W-Wait! I just can't take your boots."

"Correction. Your gumboots with a hole in them that I definately can't use if I want to garden or use in the rain. Im serious when I say I can't use them and don't need them anymore. If you don't accept them, they'll just end up in the rubbage or recycling bin anyways. You're doing me a favor by taking them off my hands for me." She smiled. "And it'd be terrible if you had to walk around barefoot and stepped on a sharp rock or something and hurt yourself. It's better to have this in case."

Well....when she put it like that, it was probably best you took them. "I-....T-Thanks. I appreciate it." You smiled and bent down to put them on. The rubber boots squeaking as you did before you leaned back up and threw the backpack you were given. But there was still the question...What now? You could travel around you guessed since that's what you suggested..but you wanted to go home. How could you get home? You didn't even know where home WAS from here!...This reminded you of an old anime you watched a long time ago when a girl was sucked into a video game and she had to live through the whole thing trying to stay outta trouble-....Wait. Your f/c eyes widened. THAT'S IT!! In the game of Pokemon Sword and Shield the player who played either Gloria or Victor traveled around Galar for the Champion's cup to battle Leon and eventually defeat him and taking over the title of Champion themselves! And since it was Gloria going on this journey you assume this world has her to be the future champion. If she goes on her journey and defeats it as the game did, that would mean the game would be over! And if the game was won and over-...That means maybe..Just maybe whatever hallucination or dream or...or whatever fantasy realm thing happening to you would be over with too and you could go home!! Maybe..It was a long shot, but right now it was the only thing you could think of! So there was one thing you could think of now! To make sure Gloria succeeds on her journey and get home! Sounded like the cliche beginning of some fantasy show but what ELSE were you supposed to do now?? The sound of Gloria slamming open the door caught both of your attention as you both turned to her beaming and slipping her bag onto her back.

"I FOUND IT!!," she called and stopped in front of her mother who crossed her arms.

"Uh huh. And did you pack everything you need for a journey that could take days or even weeks to complete?"

"YEP!"

"Uh huh. Extra clothes?"

"Yes."

"Hygiene products?"

"Yes."

"Extra poke balls?"

"Yes!"

"What about food? That mini first aid kit? You PHONE?"

"MUM!!" Gloria puffed her cheeks out in a pout. "YES!! Can I PLEASE go now!? Leon's here!!"

...Her mom gave a smile. "Alright. But not before you give me a good bye hug, young lady." Gloria happily abliged and you smiled at the sight before she pulled away and patted her daughter's head. "You be safe out there ok? Don't forget to call me every so often. And say hi to dear Leon for me, alright?"

Gloria nodded and turned to you once she noticed you there with the back pack slung over your shoulders. "Are you leaving too Y/n?"

"Um..Yes. I remembered what I was traveling for. I was actually on my way to watch the Champion's Cup!," you replied and she smiled.

"Really? Wow! That's amazing but it's still pretty far off considering they have to give everyone time to complete the journey to get the gym badges. What are you gonna do in the meantime?"

You shrugged. That was a fair question. "I guess I'm going to travel around for a bit until then." After all there wasn't really anything for you to do in the meantime til then. And you shouldn't interfere in the events of the game just in case. You couldn't risk altering the events or Gloria's chances of becoming Champion herself.

"Hey! Why don't you come with me!?," she suggested and you blinked, "You seem like a cool person! And anyone who can make me laugh at Raihan is totally cool in my books!"

"ME! T-Travel with you?"

"Why not? I was planning on traveling with Victor or Hop, but considering Victor's already traveling and Hop might go a different path on his way to get the gym badges it could be fun to travel with someone! It'll be fun! Please Mum?!" She turned to her mother who hummed and glanced at you after seeing Gloria's smile. "If I travel with someone then you don't have to worry about me being alone! And Y/n is good. I can tell! And I've never ever been wrong before following my gut!"

She hummed again. "Well...It's true you were never wrong before..and Y/n's been nothing but a polite person." You were nervous as she rose a brow in thought. "And if you weren't alone I would feel better.....Oh. Alright. But at the first sign of trouble you call me immediately and get help."

"YES!! I promise, Mum! THANK YOU!! Not only am I starting my first journey but I got my own traveling buddy before I even start too!" She fist pumped. "Sucessful Jounrney to be champion is a go!!"

Wow. You didn't remember Gloria being so pumped up and energetic in game, but again, you shouldn't interfere so should you even go???....Well, it would be better to watch just to be sure thing's would progress like in game, and this way you wouldn't just aimlessly be walking around until you did go home.

"I....I guess I'm going with you then," you nervously smiled.

"YES!! Trust me you won't regret it! NOW!!" She pointed towards the door. "Onwards to Hop's house and to Leon! You'll love him! He's like the nicest, most chillest guy ever!...Even if he does have a bad sense of direction."

She smiled and went to the door and opened it, you following behind but stopping and glancing at Gloria's mother for a moment. "Hey..Um..I j-just wanted to say thanks f-f-for everything, Ma'am. I really, really appreciate it!"

Her mother smiled. "Not to worry. I know it must be difficult to lose everything to a pokemon. I feel the same way everytime Munchy chews up and destroys something of mine. You just take care and good luck to you on your journey."

You smiled before inhaling and exhaling and turning to the door. You had one goal ahead of you know. Travel with Gloria and help her succeed in becoming Champion no matter what. And get home...Easier said than done.

#piers x reader #reader x piers #pokemon swsh #pokemon piers #reader #pokemon piers x reader

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itsnsfwalways · 5 years ago

Text

Canyon Moon

FIC MASTERLIST

warnings for ch 3: mentions of drug use (weed), swearing, oral sex (m! and f! receiving), a hint of degradation if you squint

chapter 3: you’re so golden

The sun hitting your eyes was the first thing that woke you up, the warmth inviting, but also very bright. Scrunching you’re face up, you tug the blanket over your head, turning to the side and taking a deep breath in. You find giving your body a few minutes to wake up before you force yourself out of bed makes you feel so much more awake and in a good mood.

Stretching your back, you rub the sleep out of your eyes and roll out of bed, trudging to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth.

Yawning as you walk into the kitchen, you make yourself an iced coffee before starting on breakfast. Putting on Rumours, you sing quietly to yourself while making a scramble with a bunch of veggies to get your greens in early.

Heading back to your room with hot sauce in hand, you light some incense and take a few bong rips before eating your breakfast quietly on the window sill. That was something you absolutely LOVED about your room, the edge of the window was just wide enough for you to sit (or lay down) and admire the view of palm trees and beautiful blue skies.

Opening up Misery, you finish a few chapters and mindlessly eat for a bit, listening to the birds chirp and the buzz of the city waking up. Once you finish your food, you go sit cross legged on your meditation pillow, facing the floor length mirror as you make sure your posture is straight. Putting on your favorite meditation music, which, at the moment, is 432hz Healing Tones, you take a deep breath in, clearing your mind and allowing the sun and healing vibrations to roll over you. You imagine yourself breathing in healing energy and nothing but love, and exhaling all of the stuck, negative energy, trying to ‘push’ it out with your breath. Sometimes it felt a bit silly, but if it made you feel loads better, why not do it?

About twenty minutes pass before you slowly blink open your eyes, yawning quietly before going into child’s pose, stretching your back and hips after sitting for so long.

Lying down on your back on the mat, you stare up at the ceiling, feeling an overall sense of being okay. Your body feels good, your mind feels good, your stomach’s full of butterflies that make you smile and blush at the thought of seeing Harry in a bit.

Pulling yourself up with a grunt, you throw on a swim suit and a random pair of shorts, not caring to bring a real top. After applying a bit of sunscreen on your face and shoulders, you slide into your flip flops and fill up a water bottle before heading out the door.

Unlocking Sunflower, you sit on the edge of the side door while sliding on your scuffed white rollerskates with obnoxiously bright blue wheels. They were your pride and joys, and made you feel as if you were in a different time, enjoying the breeze on your cheeks as you skate towards your spot. The journey only took about 15 minutes, with minimal stumbles, so it was already turning out to be a great day.

Finally pulling up to the small lot, you squat down to pull of your skates, putting them behind a rock along with your socks and shorts. You shook your head as you sprinted towards the ocean, leaping into the freezing water. It was the only way you were able to get in, you were never one to wade slowly in. Swimming about half a mile out, the waves crash over you coolly, soothing your quickly warming body. It was going to be a hot day today, good to know. Treading water, you look at the coast, everything looking so small. You made sure to breathe in, capturing this exact moment in memory. The feeling of salty water on your skin, wet hair stuck to your neck and the slight burn in your arms, but this was it. This was pure bliss.

But, you’re also not insane, so after a bit you swim back to shore, spending about ten minutes doing handstands and flips before getting out, wringing out your hair on your way up the beach. Climbing up the pile of large rocks next to cliff, you lay on top of a relatively flat one, allowing your body to dry off for a little bit and give you a few extra moments of sun.

You always hated dusting off your feet for forever before getting back in your socks and skates, but rather that than get sand in them.

“Fuck, I really am killing it today,” you pant to yourself, definitely feeling a burning in your thighs as you start heading home, desperately wanting a shower and some chocolate.

Throwing your skates in Sunflower, you slam the door closed and trudge up the steps to the apartment, practically falling over as you enter the door.

Laura looks up from her phone, perched on the countertop eating a bowl of cereal.

“Look at you, sexy girl, how was the water?” She teases, handing you a banana from the counter immediately because she knows you need it.

“Good,” you sigh, taking a bite and moaning, leaning against the wall for a minute in silence.

“When’s your date with Harry again?” She asks, glancing at the clock.

Oh fuck.

The clock read 10:30.

“Okay, that’s not bad, I just need to get my ass in gear,” you convince yourself, throwing the banana away and grabbing a spoonful of peanut butter. You didn’t have time to make yourself anything else, plus you were eating with Harry soon anyways.

“You got this. Do I get to meet him?” Laura encourages, raising her thumbs at you.

You laugh and nod. “Absolutely, just don’t ask about his exes or I’m going to look crazy.”

“Got it, no exes. Get in the shower, you’re dripping everywhere!”

You run upstairs, yelling back, “I’ll clean it up,” as you head into your room, turning on Currents by Tame Impala to pump you up as you shower, quickly washing your hair and body, shaving the itty bitty stubble just in case.

Running some curl cream through your hair, you try and scrunch and dry your hair as fast as possible, which doesn’t really work, but at least you tried.

A bathrobe envelopes you as you sit down at your small vanity, starting on a little bit of makeup. Dabbing a bit of concealer on your undereyes and small blemishes, you keep it semi-natural with just bronzer, blush, and highlighter, admittedly a ton, but who’s to say. Brushing your brows out and filling in the ends a little darker, all that goes on your eyes is a brown eyeshadow and a beautiful gold pigment, then comes drenching your eyelashes in mascara.

You turn your attention back to your hair, thank god you were having extremely good luck today, because it fell perfectly, the layers framing your face so elegantly that you had to smile at your reflection. Self-love is a journey, and you were glad to be in a good space.

Checking your phone finally, you find a text from Harry, sent 2 hours ago. Whoops.

Good morning, Y/N, just wanted to make sure we’re still on for 12. Hope you slept well.

Well, it’s confirmed, you’re a completely asshole. It’s 11:15 and you still haven’t responded to a text about a date happening at NOON.

AHH IM SO SORRY hi harry ! i don’t check my phone for a while in the mornings, i’m the worst, i know. we definitely are still on, haha, noon still work for you ?

You throw your phone on your bed while you stare at your closet, trying to find a good outfit for today.

Eventually coming to a pair of high waisted white shorts that you got from your mom, thankfully having the same waistline as her in high school, and a light blue silk tank top with gold straps. Planning on wearing your black boots with the gold detailing, because, hey, it seems you’ve got to up your fashion game dealing with Harry, you place them next to your bedroom door before checking your phone.

You scared me for a minute, I was about to go eat a very sad lunch by myself. I’m going to start heading over, that alright by you?

You giggle quietly at his response, typing out,

sounds great :) i’m planning on wearing a pair of boots, should i bring sandals or anything ?

Woah, trying to outdress me?

He sends the next one moments later.

Just teasing, boots will be fine. We’re going to this cafe I really like.

of course i’m going to out dress you, who do you think i am ? and awesome !! see you in a bit !!

You grab a small black bag, putting your sunglasses case, gum, keys, wallet, chapstick, lighter, your dab pen (you never know), and a small rollerball perfume inside. Sliding in some gold hoops and placing your rings back on your fingers, you wiggle them a bit. They always look a bit naked without them on.

Putting on your boots, you head into the bathroom to brush your teeth once more before Harry arrives. But nope, the doorbell, rings as soon as you start brushing your molars.

“Shit,” you gasp, heading over to the door, toothbrush in hand.

You swing open the door and rush out, “Hey, Harry, I’ll be out in two seconds, come on in.”

Taking in his appearance, you grin at the white sunglasses pushed in his hair. Wearing a white t shirt, it’s tucked into a pair of blue pants that matches your shirt to a goddamn T, which you can’t help but laugh at as you walk away. Passing Laura in the hallway, you give her a look as she walks over to him.

Their conversation travels through your open door as you finish brushing your teeth.

“You must be Laura,” Harry starts, and you can just see him reaching his hand out.

“I am, it’s great to meet you,” she says, her smile bleeding into her voice.

“You have a beautiful home, so close to the beach too,” Harry compliments.

“Thank you, yeah, Y/N found this place forever ago and we’ve been living here since we moved out. My dad knew the landlord and they gave us a ridiculously low price for it, but I am not complaining.”

“Oh that’s sick, I’ve been in Malibu for just a bit, always kind of changing my location around LA and England.”

“That was what we thought we were going to do, but I definitely am glad we stayed here. Living in the city is fun and all, but it’s a lot, you know? We need our peace and quiet at home.”

You walk back out, purse and phone in hand, taking in their positioning. Laura’s sitting on a stool, cup of coffee in hand as Harry stands across from her, eyes on you as soon as you walked out.

“I’ll see you later,” you grin at Laura, sneaking another glance at Harry as you give her a quick hug.

“Okay, bye! Nice meeting you, Harry!” she smiles, and of course he replies with the same.

You close the door behind the two of you and he looks you up and down again, meeting your eyes and smiling.

“Hi,” you breathe out, his eyes capturing you immediately.

“Hi,” he whispers back, squeezing your exposed side. “You look really good, Y/N.”

You bite your lip to hide your smile, placing your hands on his shoulders, feeling the fabric (but really just his muscles). His hands immediately go to cup your waist, not pulling you in, just holding you.

“So do you. Like the blue,” you grin, moving your hands down to his waistband.

“Proper matching, I’d say,” he cheekily smiles, thumbs feeling the edge of your shirt’s material along your ribs, your breath hitching slightly at his movement.

You’re the first to pull away, moving your hand to lace your fingers together, tugging him gently down the stairs. He follows after you, squeezing your hand with his and shaking his head, trying to mask his smile by twitching his nose.

That gorgeous being of a car is parked in front of your house, the color alone bringing a smile to your lips, but now the top was down, which was about to make this a lot more fun.

“God, Harry, I might have to steal this from you,” you sigh, arms crossed as you look up at him seriously.

He laughs loudly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“Maybe one day I’ll let you drive it,” He whispers, kissing the top of your head before pulling away and opening your door like nothing happened.

You stand there still for a moment before blinking and getting in, holding his hands on the door when he closes it. Turning your body, you lean out the door, placing your hands next to his as you whisper in his ear,

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

Sliding your lips along his cheek as you pull away, you plop back into the chair, putting on your sunglasses and messing with your hair a bit.

Harry clears his throat before walking around the car, sliding into the driver’s side and starting the car.

“Do you want to play music?” He slowly asks, his tone sending shivers down your legs.

You perk up at this, nodding quickly and taking the aux cord from him.

“I’d love to. Have you heard of Tash Sultana? They released an EP a few years ago, their voice is incredible. They make all their own loops and play every instrument by themselves.”

Harry gives you a side eye, grinning as he says,

“That’s some pretty new music for you, princess.”

Your lips part slightly and Harry watches closely as your cheeks flush, licking the side of his mouth with a grin.

“Have I found a nickname you like, Y/N?” His voice has raised slightly, obvious excitement in his expression.

“Only sometimes,” you shrug, trying to play that off as cool as possible. “And yeah, my ex actually introduced me to their music.”

Harry raises his eyes at this, bringing a finger to his lips to hold his laugh in.

“Why the fuck did I say that?” Your hands go up to your face as Harry finally laughs at you, turning the volume down just a little to listen to you.

Sighing for a second, you pull your hands away before blurting out,

“I don’t want you to think that I’m lying to you about not knowing your music or you, because I do listen to stuff released now, obviously. I’m not a music snob or one of those too cool for school people because I absolutely blast SZA when I’m drunk and I’m starting to overthink and-“

Harry cuts you off by taking your jaw in his hand, turning your face towards him. Perfect timing, as always, pulling up to a red light right when he needs it.

“Hey,” he whispers with a smile, stroking your cheek. “I don’t think that you’re lying to me, and I understand. I was kind of a dick for saying all that right away to be honest, but I get it. I listen to mostly oldies too, if I really think about it.”

You exhale, looking up at him.

“Okay. I’m still going to freak out about it and make sure you know.”

He squeezes your jaw slightly, scrunching his nose.

“No,” he cutely protests, and you can’t help but giggle.

He smiles in return and lets your jaw go, hands going back to grip the wheel a little bit tighter

The two of you drive for a little bit, not really saying anything. You can’t help but dance in your seat to the beat, silently mouthing the lyrics to yourself. Harry keeps glancing over at you, too, grinning at the way you blush when he notices you doing it.

“How was your morning so far?” You start, just wanting to hear him talk.

He has to talk a little bit louder over the wind, but he’s happy to get the conversation started.

“Quite good actually. I’m going to Cabo in a couple weeks and was just getting some early packing in. Don’t you hate when you go somewhere and realize you forgot something like a toothbrush at home?”

“It’s the worst, I always end up having to go to a corner store and get something. What’s in Cabo?” You ask, already so amazed at his lifestyle.

“Friend of mine is having a birthday, so we’re there for a bit celebrating, going to be an amazing trip. Happy to be here, though,” he adds, eyes flicking to yours as he says it.

“I’d be worried if you weren’t.”

“What about you? How was your morning?”

“Really good. Sorry about not texting you back for so long, by the way. I just have this thing about using technology right after I wake up, it gives me pretty bad headaches so I go as long as I can without it unless I hear it ring. But it was super productive, I got a good breakfast and read in, meditated a bit, skated to the beach and went for a swim, then got ready for this.”

“You put me to shame, Y/N, you really do.” Harry laughs, running a hand through his hair.

“I just woke up in a really good mood. I can definitely be grumpy in the morning, I’ll tell you that,” you try to explain, scared of feeling too pretentious.

“Yeah? I can see you throwing a fit if someone wakes you up before you’re ready,” Harry nonchalantly says, looking at the rings on his fingers before checking your reaction.

Cheeks hot, you feel almost scolded by him, thankful for the large sunglasses on your face.

“You’re not wrong,” you finally agree, crossing your legs smoothly.

That doesn’t go unnoticed by Harry, reaching a hand down to rest on your thigh almost immediately. His large hand wraps around your skin, thumb immediately starting to go in small circles.

“I started meditating a few years ago but I absolutely love it, I feel like it allows you to start the morning off right.”

Taking a deep breath before answering, you nod and say,

“Completely agree. It still can feel a bit weird doing it when I’m in a mood or anything, but whether you believe in it or not, having all that negative energy in you without doing anything about it isn’t good for you.”

“You’re quite cute when you talk about things you like. Light up like a little sun,” Harry smirks, pulling his sunglasses up to look at you, the piece of gum in his teeth allowing his jawline to be even more prominent. You do the same, placing them in your lap as you uncross your legs, his hand staying on your left thigh as it goes back towards the seat.

“Yeah?” You don’t stop looking at him, watching his eyes flit between you and the road.

Harry hums before adding, “I think you know that though.”

“That I’m quite arguably the epitome of all things golden? Of course, but it’s always nice to hear.”

You make a noise of protest as Harry removes his thigh to make a left, while simultaneously laughing at you.

“You are absolutely golden, love, don’t you forget it.”

He pauses for a moment before starting again.

“I’m going to warn you right now that there might be some photos taken of you when we go in or leave, or fans coming to take pictures. If that bothers you-“

Cutting him off quickly, you sit up, shaking your head.

“I dressed cute for a reason, if it happens it happens. I’m going to be pissed if someone comes for my outfit though.” You giggle at yourself and grab Harry’s hand, squeezing it gently. “I know what I’m signing up for. You’re good.”

Squeezing back, he looks down at his lap for a moment before glancing back at you, eyes so sincere your heart clenches a little.

“Thank you. Just... need a little reminder sometimes too.”

Unlacing your fingers, you stick your pinkie out, swearing, “I promise that I will always remind you that you’re not going to cause me any problems, and I’m not going to do the same. You promise to always remind me I’m golden?”

“‘Course, love. Was gonna do that anyways,” Harry chuckles, intertwining your fingers, heartbeat going just a little bit faster.

He couldn’t explain it, didn’t want to admit it to himself even, but your presence made his world just a little bit brighter. He couldn’t get you out of his mind, your smile, giggle, and sweet-smelling perfume was all he could think about since last night. His brain was trying to come up with reasons why this was a bad idea, how you could be using him, you were going to break his heart and leave without a second glance. But one look at your face, those eyes looking at him with so much wonder, made him hate the part of himself looking for excuses. These feelings felt way too much, too fast, but all he knew was he wanted to call you his girl. His sweet Y/N.

Parking his car next to some trees, he runs over to open your door, helping you step out and shutting the door behind you, placing the cover on the car quickly. The two of you walk into the cafe in silence, arms swaying next to each other. You figured he wasn’t comfortable holding hands in public on the first date.

The atmosphere of the Beachwood Cafe was everything you could want in a coffee shop. Absolutely stunning artwork covering the walls, a checkerboard floor, fun colors splattered all over. Your face must show how excited you were because you feel Harry bump you, grinning down at you. You hum, smile on your cheeks as he holds your face in his hands for a second.

“Like it?” You nod happily at his question, following the waitress to your table, one in the furthest corner from the door.

“Can I start you off with some drinks?” She asks, setting menus in front of the two of you. Harry gestures for you to go first and you quirk an eyebrow before turning.

“Can I please get a large iced coffee with some honey? Thank you so much,” you add, looking Angie, her nametag reads, in the eye.

“And for you?”

“A large iced americano would be wonderful, thank you, love.” Flashing that award-winning smile at her, she writes down his order and heads back to the front.

“This place is really cute, Harry,” you gush. “Thanks for bringing me here.”

His chest tightens at your cute face looking at him from across the table, the amount of gratitude coming from you at all times filling him with light.

“‘Course, honey. You don’t have to thank me,” He earnestly tells you, placing his chin in his hand.

“I know, but I feel like I need to,” you trail off, looking at one of the names of the scrambles on the menu. Snapping your eyes back up to him, Harry can tell where you’re going with this.

“Please don’t,” he half-laughs, half begs.

“But it’s so easy,” you pout, grinning when he sighs and waves his hand for you to continue.

“Should I ask how strong the Weid scramble is going to hit?”

Groaning into his palm, Harry tries his hardest not to laugh, but can’t help one escaping when you kick him under the table.

“Satisfied?”

“Very,” you nod, looking over the menu once more. “Have you had the Thai noodle salad? That looks hella good.”

“It is ‘hella’ good,” Harry teases, using quotation marks in the air.

“Right then, love, what’re you getting?” You respond in a British accent, folding up your menu.

“Probably the Brussels sprouts salad, it’s my usual here.”

You open your mouth to say something before your drinks are placed in front of you, Angie asking if the two of you are ready to order. Harry goes ahead and orders for the two of you, delicately grabbing the menu from your hands to hand it back to her with a charming smile on his face. Watching her walk away, you grab your drink, lifting it for a cheers.

“To living,” you simply state, Harry repeating it with a look in his eyes you can’t quite name.

“So,” you start, adjusting your position in your seat for a second. “You said you’re writing for your second album, right?”

Harry nods, licking his lips as he pulls away from his glass, catching the way your eyes wander to his mouth.

“Sort of. I want to, you know, take a break, try and just have some fun, rather than jump straight into writing and recording again. At the same time, I really fucking miss it. Writing and being in the studio and getting all that out just feels so good.”

The way his accent wraps around his words makes it hard for you to focus on what he’s saying all the way, realizing he’s waiting on you to respond.

“I definitely think you could use some down time. But that also doesn’t mean you have to stop making music. Write out your ideas when they come to you, and when you feel like you’re ready, start pumping them all out. I’m willing to bet $100 that you already have at least a few songs under your belt, though, am I wrong?” You grin at the headshake Harry gives you, catching the blush on his cheeks. “I knew it! We all do, it’s impossible to just not write, but don’t worry about timelines or due dates. You can’t rush art.”

“God, it’s just so good to hear out loud, I feel like you already know me,” Harry shakes his head, pushing his hair away from his face with one hand.

“I’m pretty good at reading people, I’d like to say,” your arm raising above you as you stretch a little, tilting your head from side to side.

Seeing your neck arch and the way your veins move slightly under your skin causes Harry to have to clear his throat a little, taking a sip of his drink as he feels his forehead start to sweat.

“What kind of artists do you normally write for?” He blurts out, trying to figure out how to get to know more about you in a roundabout way.

“If you’re offering me a job, I’m walking out right now,” you warm, raising your eyebrows. “Kidding. I don’t know, really, I write for a lot of my friends, like I said, when they need help on some of their own projects, or if I’m hanging out in the studio I get pulled around the rooms for a different set of ears. Working with Khalid was one of my favorite experiences, though, he was so fucking cool.”

Harry’s eyes sparkle at this, perking up.

“Love Khalid. He is so talented, and hilarious. I swear, my stomach was aching after being with him for a little while. I only asked because I think I’m trying to figure you out a bit. I just wanna get to know ya,” He shrugs, fingertips tapping on his glass.

“I wish you good luck on that task, Harry, I really do. The first step in recovering is admitting you need help,” you solemnly nod, bursting out laughing when he rolls his eyes and ATTEMPTS to hide his smile.

Your food is placed in front of you suddenly, and you jump, glaring at Harry for smirking at your reaction. He couldn’t help it, you were like a little puppy, overexcited and always jumping from place to place. Harry starts eating right away, sending you a quizzical look when you sit with your hands in your lap, almost like you’re waiting for something.

“You going to start eating, honey?” He gently presses, snapping you out of wherever you went.

“Sorry,” you blush, grabbing your fork and shaking your head a little. “I don’t know what the fuck that was about.”

Fuck, yes you did, and Harry knew that. You were waiting for his permission, and that thought alone sent you into a daze. Closing your eyes around the fork, you fought off the urge to moan and tried to push the fact that he already holds so much control over you out of your head. Snapping them open, you find Harry’s eyes on you, the look in them dangerous. Clearing your throat, you whisper, “It’s really good,” which Harry responds with a simple hum, leaning forward on his elbows towards you.

“You tell me if this is too forward or too much, yeah?”

Your lips part as you nod your head, not really ready for what’s about to cross his lips.

“I’ve been noticing certain... things that you do and, well, are you a sub, darling?”

Your throat dries, unable to break eye contact or even speak, only nodding when he squints his eyes a little at you. Fuck, this was not happening, you thought, reaching to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Like to hear that pretty voice of yours, yeah?” Harry urges you, hands fighting off the urge to hold your jaw in his fingertips.

“Yeah,” you sigh, taking a swig of coffee to think of something to say. “I’m going to assume you’re a dominant,” pausing to let Harry nod, jaw moving as he chews. You throw your hands up, leaning back in your seat.

“You are the complete package, Harry, shit.”

He laughs at this, covering his mouth quickly. “‘S’all you. A dream, really.”

Your heart flutters at this, shit, no, this is a FIRST date, you cannot be feeling like this. Taking a bite of your food, you are able to just sit back and look at him. Watch how he sticks his tongue out while he puts a bite in his mouth, something you’ve done since you were a kid for no reason. How his hands look almost sinful holding the white napkin to his lips.

“Staring at me, love,” he comments after a few minutes, his eyes looking at you sweetly, like he didn’t mind, but just needed to call you out.

“Merde, je veux te sucer,” you breathe out in French, banking on him not understanding you.

“Viliane,” Harry tuts, clicking his tongue at you. Before you’re able to answer, Harry is handing his card to the waitress who passed your table, asking for two boxes for your meals.

Your eyes snap to his, all the oxygen leaving your body as he brings your plate his side, getting ready to pack it up for you.

“W-Where?” Is all you manage, drinking the rest of your coffee, before setting it down on the table, a drop of honey falling down your lip. Harry can’t help but swipe it off with his thumb, slowly placing it in his mouth afterwards, not breaking eye contact, with you.

“I live nearby. That alright with you?”

Nodding slowly, you sit quietly in the booth as Angie comes back with the check and two boxes, legs bouncing excitedly as Harry packages the food up.

“Come on, lovely, let’s get out of here,” he tells you, holding you by your elbow as you walk outside, heading straight for the car. He doesn’t bother taking the top off, opening your door for you without a word and shutting it, almost sprinting to the driver’s side.

His hand finds your thigh immediately, rings shocking the delicate skin and making your muscles tense, his fingers quickly moving to massage out these aches.

“You wanna give me a safeword, pretty girl?” His voice drips with confidence, his hands moving closer to where you needed him most. His eyes keep flickering back to you while trying to focus on the road. His curls are a mess around his sunglasses, the brown hair swallowing up most of the eye ware. A pinch on your thigh reminds you that he expects an answer, shaking your body out slightly before answering.

“The stoplight system’s good. Green, I’m good, yellow, slow down or take a break, red, stop everything. What kind of dom are you, Harry?” You push, wanting to know what you’re getting yourself into. You had done a lot of kinky stuff in the past, and there were some things you weren’t a fan of.

“Mm, I’m relatively easy going. Not going to give you any rules, unless we’re playing and have a scene set up. But,” he pauses to exhale harshly, “I’m quite mean, love. I like to take control, pick you apart bit by bit until you’re just trembling under me, can’t say anything but my name. How does that sound, puppy? Tell me now how you like it.”

His voice sends shivers throughout your body and you moan quietly, biting your lip to try and stifle it. Harry’s words circle around your brain, your stomach tightening with need. All the air seems to escape you, but you know he wants an answer.

“G-good. I like it rough, dirty, just wanna please you,” you stutter out, chest rising and falling rapidly. You absent-mindedly rub your fingers against your neck, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe while thinking about what he’s saying.

“Good fuckin’ girl,” he moans, removing his hand from your thigh to place it behind your neck, squeezing it in his grasp. He knows what you want, even if he’s driving, he’s able to pick up on any little signals your body makes. Your back arches as you let out a breathy moan, eyes slipping closed.

“Tell me, princess,” he starts, squeezing the side of your throat to make you open your eyes and pay attention to him. “What do you want to happen when we get back to my house? Don’t want to go too far too soon.”

“Fuck, Harry, I just really want to suck you off, please, please, please,” you beg, a tear actually falling from your eye as you look at him. His pupils dilate at your words, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows harshly, mouth suddenly dry,

“Y/N,” he growls, reaching a hand to squeeze his growing bulge in his pants. His tanned hands and dark rings contrast the bright color, adding to your ever growing list of things that Harry does that turns you on.

The car pulls up to a gate and you sit there for a few seconds before Harry is buzzed in, probably driving way too fast back to his house. Parking in his driveway, he finally releases his hand from your neck and exits the car, making his way around to open your door. Holding your hand as you exit, he places his hand on your low back to guide you into the gorgeous home, the size of it taking your breath away. Harry gives you no time to admire it, shutting the door behind him with a slam before bringing his hand up your chest to rest on your throat, slamming you into the wall. He slips a leg in between yours and takes your hip in his free hand, guiding you to start grinding on his thigh. Your face flushes with heat as he tightens his grip.

“Know you wanna suck me off, but will you cum for me first? Don’t want this pretty cunt to go to waste.”

Your head rolls back and hits the wall, hips stuttering at his words, eliciting a chuckle from Harry as he leans in, breath hitting your lips before he envelopes them, encouraging you to start grinding faster. His tongue runs along your bottom lip, prying them open to lick into your mouth, your moans being instantly swallowed by him. Pulling away slowly, he maintains eye contact with you as he removes his hand from your throat to slip two fingers into your mouth. Feeling your wet mouth on him, sucking his fingers with such need, Harry groans lowly, removing his fingers to kiss you even harder, hands making quick work of removing your shorts.

“Such a naughty girl, can’t even wait to get to the bedroom, just has to have me feel you right here, hmm?” Harry scolds, removing his lips from yours to suck a mark into your neck, fingers moving to feel your wetness through the cloth underwear. Your hands wrap around his curls as you shakily inhale, resting your forehead on his to moan out lowly.

“Fuck, Harry,” you sigh, feeling him rub along your folds through the fabric, pushing it ever-so-slightly inside of you. His mouth pulls away from you with a pop, only to bite down on the red skin harshly, working his way up to your mouth once more. He bumps his nose against yours and opens his mouth to move his tongue past your lips. Your head is spinning, breath ragged as you suck his tongue with yours, feeling the vibrations in your mouth when he moans lowly, pulling a whimper from you.

Suddenly, he drops to his knees, pulling the thong down with him. You swallow at the change in pace and allow him to help you step out of them.

“Wanna take your boots off, sweet girl?” He checks, kissing your inner thigh softly as you lean fully against the wall. You think for a second, these were pretty comfortable, pretty solid grip, why not stay in them?

“‘S okay. Perfect height for you,” you breathe, bucking your hips up. He doesn’t even wait a second to smack your pussy, grabbing your thighs to spread you even wider.

“Filthy, you are,” he growls, licking a long stripe from your hole to your clit, a gasp immediately falling from your lips. He looks up at you and grins, licking long stripes through your folds, almost like he’s trying to remember how you feel. He takes his time catching your wetness slowly, despite the little gasps and moans coming from you. Flicking his tongue over your clit for a second, he pulls back to blow cool air on it, the motion causing your legs to falter for a second.

“Gotta stay still, okay? Can’t have you falling over,” he spits directly on your core as he says this, looking up at you with his jaw hanging slightly open, loving the way your hands go to your hair to find something to grab on. He smirks to himself, licking into you while his hands find your hips, pinching the delicate skin between his fingertips. He collects as much of you and his spit on his tongue as he can, swallowing around your clit after he sucks it into his mouth. The suction makes your hips fight to buck up into him, but you use all of your strength to stay still, causing your thighs to start quivering in his palms. Harry grins and scrapes his teeth along your clit, your loud moan going directly to his quickly hardening cock.

“Taste so fucking good, angel,” he groans, nose rubbing against your clit as he fucks his tongue into you, the soft muscle dragging along your walls and guiding your wetness into his mouth. The sounds coming from him are obscene, loud slurping, sucking, and spitting onto your trembling pussy.

“Fuck, Harry, I’m not going to last,” you cry out, feeling yourself start to clench around him. He grins around you, pulling away to thumb at your clit and look directly into your eyes.

“Mm, that’s not how good girls ask,” is all Harry gives you, slipping a finger inside and immediately curling it towards himself, finding your g-spot with ease. His lips wrap around your clit, sucking harshly while his tongue draws designs on the sensitive button.

“Please, Sir, can I come?”

This has Harry moaning against you, pinching your clit between his teeth as he slides another finger in, fucking into you faster. Your eyes roll back, one hand splayed against the wall, another in his hair to give you some sort of balance. He relentless massages and thrusts into your g-spot with his fingers, feeling you clench around them so tightly that his head starts to spin. “That’s it, puppy, ask me again,” he demands, the title you gave him sending shivers throughout his body. He sucks harder on your clit, somehow speeding up his fingers inside you. A moan vibrates against your center when you pull on his curls, your hips bucking up against his waiting hand.

“Sir, please please please can I come? I’ve been so good, haven’t moved,” you beg, gasping loudly when your legs start to shake noticeably. Harry pulls away, looking up at you and grunting out,

“You have been such a good girl, haven’t you? Go. Cum, now, right fucking now on my tongue.” A loud slapping noise is heard when Harry smacks your ass, the pain sending you over the edge. Your head hits the wall with a thud, but your moan drowns everything out, the guttural sound coming from your soul. Tilting your head back, you cum into his mouth, one leg slipping out from under you and Harry places it on his shoulder without a second thought, holding you up as you ride out your orgasm. The tightness in your stomach releases and your pussy trembles around his fingers, only encouraging him to continue the constant pressure on your g-spot.The strength of it knocks the wind out of you and sends electricity throughout your finger tips, your hips slowing down their rocking motion as Harry eases his fingers out of you. He continues to lick you clean before placing your shaky legs back on the ground together, trailing his hands up your body as he stands up.

“Thank you,” you breathe into his chest, holding on to his hips for balance. His chuckle vibrates against your cheek, and you feel him move your hair out of the way to kiss your shoulder.

“Of course, lovely. How you feeling?” He is all smiles, his voice gentle and caring as he breathes in your smell, leaving small kisses along your neck.

“G-good,” you stutter out, nudging his head to make eye contact with you. He pulls away after a second, one arm going around your waist when he notices how you’re practically falling over with how shaky your legs are. Smirking, he places his other hand on your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. Tasting yourself on his tongue was too much for you, whining into his mouth before pulling away.

“Can I suck you off now?” You ask shyly, using your best puppy dog eyes. And, wow, do they work. Harry groans, biting your bottom lip harshly before pulling away, not wasting a second before pushing down on your shoulders. You topple to the ground easily, landing surprisingly softly (thanks to Harry’s expert hands), on the hardwood floor. After helping him remove your shirt, you place your hands behind your back immediately and tuck your chin down, grinning to yourself when you hear the moan Harry let’s out at your position.

“Spoiled little girl. Gets everything and more that she asks for, hmm, yes?” Harry demands, tugging your chin up by his hands. His eyes are pointed, staring directly into yours, pupils blown out and hair a mess behind him. You can see the pieces stuck to his forehead from sweat, but his chin glistens with something that has to be you.

“Yes, sir, so good to me. Wanna make you feel good, please,” you beg, leaning closer into him, the difference in clothing setting you into a daze, seeing him fully dressed while you’re waiting on your knees in front of him, naked, panting, and pleading to have his cock down your throat.

“Greedy,” he sighs, taking his hand away from your face to slide off his shirt, tossing it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. He keeps his eyes trained on yours, daring you to avert them as he unzips his pants, stepping out of them. He looks away for a second to pull of his boots, and you take your time admiring his thighs, because, fuck. They were thick, muscled, tanned, and the little tattoos on them were asking to be bitten, you made a mental note to do that later.

“Got a bit of a staring problem, love.”

Harry’s voice snaps you out of your daydream, eyes flickering back up to him, mouth dropping open when he’s bare in front of you, slowly stroking himself. You involuntarily make a little noise in the back of your throat, sticking your tongue out for good measure. Seeing Harry’s hips thrust up into his hand and his neck vein pop was confirmation enough for you, but you waited for him to put himself in your mouth, absolute torture you must say.

Harry finally takes mercy on you, moaning out, “God, you’re such a little cockslut, just want something in that fucking mouth of yours. Bet I could leave my fingers in there all day and you wouldn’t complain once,” when he eases himself into your open mouth.

You flatten your tongue on the underside of him, not breaking eye contact as you slide off his cock to lick at his tip with feather light touches, drawing figure eights along the top. Suckling lightly on just the head, you feel a spurt of precum land on your tongue, licking it up happily. Tearing your eyes away from his, you open up your throat to begin taking him deeper, feeling his hand immediately come to your hair as you do this.

“Yes,” Harry draws out, allowing you to take control for a moment. You wanted to suck him off, so who is he to tell you how to do it? The view is what is killing him the most, though. Your tits bouncing as you slurp him down, spit falling onto your thighs, your little bit of stomach pudge falling over as you completely lose yourself in making him feel good. That is what gets him to buck into your mouth, closing his eyes and biting his bottom lip, breathing heavily as he begins to thrust into you. You pull away after a moment, jerking him off steadily as you swallow and look up at him.

“You can fuck my throat. Don’t have much of a gag reflex, anyways. Wanna see how you like it, Sir,” you pant, not giving him any time to think before you take him back into your mouth, placing your hand on the wrist that’s in your hair, giving him another okay.

“God, Y/N, you’re heavenly,” Harry breathes, testing out the waters by doing some shallow thrusts, only then beginning to actually throat-fuck you. He places his other hand around your neck, essentially pulling you into his throat and choking you from both ways. Your eyes roll into the back of your throat and you place your nose against his belly, breathing in deeply. Harry pulls himself out of you, rubbing his cock against your cheeks.

“Feel so good,” he draws out, easing himself back into your waiting mouth, rubbing the head on the ridges on the roof of your mouth. He moans through closed lips and tilts his head back, giving you the chance to admire his strong jawline from this angle, body sculpted by Michaelangelo himself. He had no room to call you all these beautiful names while he looked this fucking good getting his cock sucked.

You start speeding up your bobs, keeping him deep in your throat and only picking up a little, the change in pressure earning you a tug on your roots when Harry pulls you to look up at him.

“Mm, you want me to cum, don’t you, dirty girl,” he grunts, a lazy grin on his now flushed face. His thumbs make their way to press on either side of your cheek, moaning lowly when he feels himself through the tissue.

You hum around him, using your tongue along the vein you can feel, looking up at Harry with such need in your eyes. You pull off for a quick second, gasping loudly while saying,

“Want you to come in my mouth so bad, want to taste you and make you feel as good as you made me,” Taking him back in your mouth and sucking him off with a vice-like grip.

“Fuck,” Harry half-laughs, half-moans. “You’re incredible. Gonna make me come so fast, you’re taking me so fucking deep.”

Not even a minute later, you feel him begin to pulse in your mouth, pulling back to just suck on the head, using your tongue to dip into the hole, and Harry cums with a loud shout, burying his cock down your throat as he shoots ribbon after ribbon of come into you. You keep your eyes at his face, remembering how his mouth looks wide open, his eyes pinched closed, hair making a perfect halo around him. His throat makes you want to cry, the veins popping out and slightly red. He stays in your mouth for a while, allowing you to suck him dry and soften slightly, before pulling out of you with a pop.

“Thank you,” you croak out, swallowing what’s left in your mouth and leaning into his touch, quite spent if you were being honest.

Harry had to look away for a second, moving his hand to hold your head while he caught his breath. You were right about being golden, your skin shone, and you just radiated everything good in this world, right after he had his cock balls deep down your throat nonetheless.

“You’re too much, beauty. Thank you, did such a good job,” he gushes, kneeling down. He takes your chin inbetween his fingers and kisses you softly, just barely moving his lips. He leans his forehead against yours and wipes your lip with his thumb, allowing you to suck the bit of cum still on your face off with a blush tinting your cheeks.

“Reminds me of this morning, a bit,” he giggles, laughing louder as you hit him in the chest, grumbling ‘dumb’. He pushes your hair out of the way and holds your face in his two hands, effectively shutting you up as you breathe in deeply, feeling strangely comfortable being this vulnerable with him this fast.

“Do you wanna take a bath with me right now? Know you were on shaky legs and this hard floor for a while,” he pouts, kissing your forehead softly. You nod slowly and he smiles, nodding against you before pulling away to unzip your shoes, placing them next to the wall before he’s picking you up with way too much ease, pulling a shriek from you.

“‘Sorry, love, your poor legs okay?” he asks, holding you to his chest with one arm, using the other to hold your thigh. He receives another nod to the shoulder and he nuzzles you, trying to see what’s happening.

“I’m okay, just tired,” you sigh, and he murmurs an ‘okay’ kissing your temple before allowing you to sink back onto him, making a mental note to ask you about it once you’ve got your breath back.

“Why don’t you go turn on that shower and wash yourself real quick with some warm water and I’ll have the bath ready when I join you, that okay?” Harry whispers, sliding you down slowly. He pushes you toward the large glass door and you smile back at him, your heart bursting with appreciation.

This one is going to change you.

A/N: and that’s a wrap !! lemme know if you guys prefer this kind of phrasing (‘you said’), or if you like ‘she said’, or ‘i said’ better. this is my first time working with a full story using y/n and second/third person kind of view, so pls bear with me. also !! i know some people aren’t really cool with weed. im a ~stoner~ (such a weird thing to type out lmao) so i smoke a lot, but if y’all aren’t comfortabke with me mentioning it p much every other chapter, let me know !! (it can even be anonymously sent in) hope you liked it, and let me know if you have any other requests for future chapters or just one shots💗💗

- lana💔

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #dom harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction

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tteokdoroki · 5 years ago

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💜- alright last part of my poly hawks and mirko story, anyone have any requests for the next one?

You wake up to the sound of whisper yells,

“We should wake her up, she needs to drink water and eat something! This whole week she hasn’t been able to recover and she needs to eat!” You hear a voice say, you assume it’s Rumi but you’re too exhausted to check.

“She needs some rest, and I’m not gonna wake her up. She looks so peaceful,” you hear keigo say, arms tighten pulling you closer to his chest.

“Bird brain stop trying to hid her with your wings,”

“No, I cleaned up the apartment while you two were asleep, now it’s my turn to get my cuddles,” keigo whines.

Opening your eyes you look up at keigo, who doesn’t even notice your awake. Rumi has a tray of food in her hands, and she is wearing a hoodie and shorts. You realize that you’re lying on Keigo’s chest, an arm wrapped around you.

“ hi baby, you were so good to us this week, so so good. We couldn’t have asked for a better wife,” Rumi says noticing that you’re awake. She puts down the tray of food and kisses your forehead.

“I’m sorry feather, did we wake you up?” Keigo asks, gently brushing the hair away from your eyes with his free hand.

You shake your head no, voice too sore to speak.

“Here baby, drink up. I bet you’re dying of thirst,” Rumi says grabbing a cup and beginning to pour some water in it.” Keigo, can you please help sit her up?” She asks brining the cup over to the both of you.

Keigo takes it from her hands, as you were about to grab it,”come on feather, let us take care of you,” he says nuzzling his face in your neck as he brings the straw up to your lips,”you were an angel for us this week, let us return the favor,”

You finish drinking and Rumi takes the cup from you, climbing ontop of the bed she holds out an unwrapped lozenge for your throat.

“This will help baby,” she says plopping the sweet tasting medicine in your mouth.

“You wanna eat first? Or take a bath? Or something else?” Keigo asks, sitting up straight, using a wing to help hold you to his chest.

“Bath, please,” you ask as both Rumi and keigo smile.

“Of course feather, Rumi did you get the stuff on the list?” Keigo asks shuffling to the side of the bed, picking you up in his arms and standing up.

“Of course I did Keigo, “

“Wait, what did you get? “You ask, peeking up. They just smile.

“Well, We thought you might enjoy some pampering, so I got you some of those bath salts that are good for sore muscles, some face masks, and some other goodies for you,” keigo said, placing you don’t on the bathroom counter.

“You guys, you didn’t have to, you both are the best,” your smile grew as you kissed them both on their cheek.

“We wanted to, you were so perfect for us, so we wanted to pamper you. Now, let us take care of you,” Rumi says as keigo fills up the bathtub. They both strip down, and keigo steps in first, being careful with his wings. Once you and Rumi are in, keigo takes the shower head and gently begins to wash your hair, giving you a nice scalp massage.

You just smile, closing your eyes as Rumi begins to put the bath salts in.

“You’re so pretty, how did I get so lucky for the two most gorgeous girls to stick around with me,” keigo says admiring you and Rumi.

“Hmm. You’re right, I’ll just take my baby bunny and leave you,” Rumi says jokingly grabbing your hand and kissing it.

Keigo scowls and shields you from rumi’s sight,”no. Mine. Both of you are mine, and I’m yours.” He grumpily says as Rumi laughs and tries to move his wings out of the way.

“I know bird brain, I’m just joking. I love you both,”

“I love you both too,” you say as keigo rinses the shampoo out of your hair and starts to put conditioner in.

You try to reach for his shampoo or rumi’s when they stop you,”these next few days are about you, not us. “Rumi says grabbing your hands and kissing them.

You go to argue but keigo stops you,”no if’s, and’s or buts,” he says as Rumi begins to lather your body up with nice smelling soap.

“What kind of food do you want for later, I know you like miso soup? I picked up some of your favorites from the store?” Rumi asks, as keigo rinses the conditioner out of your hair.

“We can order out, pick up that meal you really like,” keigo adds, kissing your face.

“Order out please?” You ask, leaning your head against Keigo’s chest.

“Anything for you feather,”

Rumi stands up, and gets out first,”wait here, I’m going to get some towels and bathrobes.

Keigo turns you to face him, “how many times have I said that I loved you today?” He asks with a smile on his face.

“At least ten,” you say

“Hmmm, that’s not enough,” he says kissing your nose,”nothing I ever do will be enough to show how much I love you,”

Rumi comes in with a bunch of fluffy towels and bathrobes.

“Come on keigo, don’t hog them, and the water is getting cold,” she says holding out a towel for you. Keigo picks you up and places you in the ground, his hands around your waist, supporting your body weight.

“Do you think you can stand?” He asks.

“I got this ,” you say, as keigo loosens his grip around your waist. Your legs immediately buckle and both keigo and Rumi grab you.

“Okay, maybe I was a bit overconfident,” you say laughing. As Rumi wraps you in a towel.

“You’re gonna give us a heart attack one day.” Keigo says as Rumi carries you in the bedroom, gently tossing you on to the bed.

Keigo is carrying a basket with lotions and leave in products.

They spend the next hour just massaging you, you can barely keep your eyes open by the time they’re done.

By now it’s around 12 pm, you’re dressed, had something to drink, showered and currently you’re bending fed chicken ramen with mushrooms, egg, and lots of veggies, with chicken. Wrapped up in their arms as you listen to the go back and forth, Rumi calling keigo a cannibal when he eats some of the chicken, and keigo telling Rumi that if she keeps thumping her foot on the floor there is gonna be a hole. They love play fighting, and you love watching them playfully banter. Cause at the end of the day, you three are curled up together, underneath a pile of blankets, watching movies together.

pls keigo gets so clingy and baby like after his rut all he wants to do is scoop you up in his wings and make a little nest with you :((( he makes room for rumi too n cuddles his babies into his chest aaaa brings you both shiny gifts because he wants you guys to know how grateful he is and how much he adores you !!! rumi pampering you both and letting you help wash keigo’s big wings and his hair aaa he’s literally you guy’s baby!!

rumi dressing you up in her clothes and spoon feeding you while kei just clings to your side and Does Not Leave im in love <33

#soft hours open #hawks #miruko #💜 anon #you’ve got mail 💌

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gabriellexhunter · 4 years ago

Text

drunk nights and streetlights

warm. too warm.

was all that went through gabby’s head as the sun beamed down on her face, cursing herself for drinking, and not shutting the shades and for even being awake at what was probably some ungodly hour. letting out a small groan in protest her mind seemed to catch up to her body as her hand reached out into the spot next to her. the redhead peeked her eyes open when her hand didn’t meet a warm, just as crabby human next to her. Her hand tangled in her sheets as she sat up, holding the gray thin fabric to cover her chest. Maybe Max got up and made coffee? He was always an early riser, but maybe he had work? Or maybe he’s just in the bathroom waiting for her to get up?

Everything in her mind was telling her to panic, to freak out when she didn’t see him there. Or hear the familiar creaks of the house as someone walked through it, he wouldn’t just leave, right? And not say goodbye? Green eyes fell onto the floor and as her clothing was scattered everywhere still, his were nowhere to be seen. Hera chose this time to hop up onto the bed and meow towards her, probably hungry, and a part of her hoped he was just there, maybe doing the crossword so she couldn’t at her table.

Scratching behind her cat's ears, she brushed through her hair as she got up, the afterglow from last night had turned into grossness and tacky skin, shuffling her way into the bathroom she took the fastest, hottest shower she could. Gabby slipped into her lounge wear and pressed her palms into her eyes as she tried desperately to not overthink. This wasn’t the easiest situation, but he wouldn’t just dip. She knew him. He was an ass sure but after something so altering to their dynamic?

Bouncing down her stairs, a cat strong at her heels, she paused a bit at the end of her staircase, staring into an empty, undisturbed area. Her wine glass was still on her counter and the near empty bottle was in the sink, and the towel that was hung over her stove was discarded on the floor, probably from them. This also meant he wasn’t here. A part of her brain was accepting defeat, but the part that was so tightly wound with her heart couldn’t accept it. Moving to make a pot of coffee, her actions felt slow, like she was dipped in syrup trying to get out. Gabby’s cellphone sat dead on her kitchen island and as she picked it up, she prayed some small impossible thing would happen and he’d call. When she placed her phone on the table charger she poured her coffee, watching the phone more than her own movement, watching it light up and turn on and it even took her a few extra seconds to realize she was over pouring her coffee onto her counter.

“Fuck shit” Was mumbled out as her hand grabbed that towel and threw it down over the mess. “Get it together” Gabby said softly as she moved to dump a bit of the extra filled coffee out of her sink and each new ding rang out as messages and emails flooded the small screen. Taking a gentle sip her hand reached over the mess to reach anything that was popping up, every new thing pushed aside when it wasn’t from who she wanted it to be from. Her finger dangled a bit in front of his contact, the silly stupid picture staring back at her as she swallowed down the anxiety and took a deep breath. Meeting his voicemail was something she didn’t expect.

“hey uh- sorry I woke up so late i know you’re an early bird” this was more embarrassing than she thought it could be. her fingers pinched her nose before she took a deep breath and continued. “i know you might be busy or you know working or whatever but if you umm have time later we could talk about everything? i mean if you want? im sorry im so fucking nervous i just- i want to make sure we’re okay. you’re my best friend Max, just call me okay? i could word vomit forever.”

Staring down at her phone screen, she paused for a few extra seconds as she finally hung up the call. Her fingers curled around the device as she tucked it under her chin, shutting her eyes as she let out a shuddering breath. The thing was that now that this happened, it wasn’t like she could just ignore it. Looking back down at her phone screen she went to their texts as she mumbled to herself as Gabby deleted and retyped something a thousand times, trying to find the right words. The right way to fix this, because if she didn’t pick at this; it’d be her undoing.

‘Just call me when you can, okay?’ was all she typed out and let out a scream when she actually sent it. This is why she didn’t do things like this.

Twenty four hours.

It was the anxiety of it that was killing her the most. Not knowing. Not sure of where things were, or if he was upset or how he felt. She had to sit with her own emotions only, and that was almost worse. Max wasn’t there to tell her she was overthinking it, or being irrational towards herself and the situation. Gabs tried not to let the sadness creep in, she truly did, but when the text moved to delivered and she still never got a response, or a call back, a part of her heart broke. What if that was all he wanted? Seven years of build up just for sex? Max wouldn’t do that to her, he couldn’t do that to her.

Kicking her door closed, the redhead let out a groan as she pressed her back to it. Her gym clothing was sticking to her, and even though it was her normal coping mechanism, it didn’t touch the anxiety that sat on her shoulders or in her chest. She must have looked wild to those around her, carrying her gym bag under one arm and two bottles of wine in the next, but at this point, all she felt was defeated. Dropping her bag down and kicking off her shoes was the easy part, and as she dragged herself to the kitchen the first thing she did was find a bottle opener. Not even bothering with a glass and taking a big swig caused her to burp as she stared down at her phone. Gabby took another long sip, trying to build up the courage to text him again.

‘Can you at least tell me if we’re okay?’

Half a bottle of wine and a change of clothes later.

‘Max just give me something. I cant do radio silence, please?’

Full bottle and half a sandwich.

‘We dont even have to talk, send an emoji or something.’

Two bottles and a long cold case marathon later.

‘Don’t act like i won’t show up to your job’

‘I mean i won’t because you’re already avoiding me and i think it’d cry if you ignored me in person’

‘Im sorry im not trying to be that girl who demands something after a one night stand but

I just hoped i was more than that’

‘sorry’

Two days.

This asshole had ignored her for two days. The hangover was absolutely not worth it. And her sadness turned to anger overnight. Even if he didn’t want something serious, a single text would shut her up. One. single. Text. and he couldn’t even do that? Calling out was not in her work ethic but the anger she felt was all consuming, the sadness that would creep in would be overshadowed in anger and the need to hit him.

Her phone was her enemy, and every buzz and ding that came from it was false hope. Max was going to get a punch to the head when she saw him next, that was for sure. Did she completely waste her time with this? Did she push him too hard? All of these questions clouded her head for two days, but now they were replaced with venom. How could he do this to her? Were the things he said to her a lie? Maybe he didn’t want to give up his bachelor life. Or maybe he didn’t care as much as he thought and now she was just left in the dark. Gabby cried too much over this, sad and angry tears but there was never any relief. When she was getting a divorce there was a moment where everything turned calm again, and she stopped crying over it all, but that never came for this situation. She was just angry.

Wanting to text him and yell at him was her worst character flaw, she couldn’t leave things well enough alone. But he knew this about her. Did he just think she’d let this go? That she wouldn’t annoy the fucking shit out of him until he answered? The anger she felt from being completely disregarded was holding her body hostage, she couldn’t concentrate on anything else. All her normal coping ways didn’t even scratch the surface of it all, she was left feeling more angry, and in a sense betrayed. Even if he didn’t see this going anywhere, or wanted to stop all this, why wouldn’t he just tell her? Why leave her like this? Not knowing. Consumed. Burning.

When she finally gave in to text him again, all she wanted to do was spit hate at him. React bitterly and angry, like how she felt, but the thought of lying and telling Max she hated him, didn’t sit well. Puffing out a giant breath, her thumb hovered over the call button, and every time it rang she hoped he’d pick up. If he just answered she’d feel less angry. When his voicemail played again, she hung up the first time, “Get a fucking grip, you can yell at him it’s fine” and tried it again, and her anger flared again as it played again.

“Hey Asshat, I get it okay? This is a lot but you have to give me something. You know I don’t work well on silence and and avoidance, I’m just so fucking mad at you, All you have to do is answer me. An empty message at this point would be better than nothing. I hate...” Pausing, knowing how it was going to sound to him, she quickly tried to fix it. “I just hate that you responded like this. This isn’t right, this is stupid im not doing this I can’t do this. It hurts too much and I’m too angry at you, talk to me when you’re finally ready to have a big boy conversation.”

Staring down at the phone, her breath caught in her throat as it all came down on her. What if they never recovered from this? Was she going to lose him for good? Pulling up the messages she saw all her one sided moments and typed before she could even stop herself,

“I love you but i also fucking hate you right now, all you had to do was stay.”

And with that, she accepted her anger and finally broke down in tears again.

Day three.

This was the day that hit the hardest. She could only call out for so long before others were asking if she was okay, and how serious her stomach bug was etc. Gabby wanted to crawl into her bed and just scream, and nap and mostly scream. Holding her coffee close to her chest as she walked through the familiar doors and all the way to her desk, Oliver insisted she make up for the lost time before her normal drive along. Her partner was already there waiting for her, probably waiting to give her a hard time.

“Marky I swear to god if you’re here to start shit I’ll turn around and walk out” The redhead started as she rolled her eyes at him, she knew they all meant well, “You missed two days of ride along and you expected to get through without shit? Come on Hunts, you know me better than that.” He was laughing, nudging her shoulder like it was nothing and dropped a muffin bag onto her desk. Markus was one of the ones who knew of her special deal with Oliver and her therapist, and a part of her was always nervous he’d say something, make some wack ass comment, but he always kept it respectful. The department welcomed her with welcome arms, many knew her from her previous work but when Oliver introduced her as Officer Hunter the cheers were all the welcoming she needed.

The three hours of desk work was killing her, every shift and turn in the chair was making some new part of her crack. Pushing her glasses up a bit and taking a sip of her coffee, she struggled through a few reports, only stopping when she got a clap on the back and an overeager Markus on her right. “You ready?” He asked, giving her a pleased smile when she nodded. Shutting the folder and placing it in her locked desk drawer, the woman grabbed her jacket and moved forward, following closely behind him. “Are we in the normal area tonight?” Gabs asked carefully, shrugging on her jacket and adjusting her shirt a bit as they entered the garage. “Yeah, we’ve got a few routine stops, and we have to check on that one family again but other than that we’re sitting on our asses tonight.”

Just like that the night moved on. New cups of coffee every hour, normal buildings and streets passing by in blurs. Streetlights either too bright or not bright enough, the rush of it all was just enough to distract her, shift her focus from the absolute emotional jail cell she felt trapped in. But good moments only last so long, it’s not all saving kids and eating donuts, there were days it tested her and tonight was one of those.

They were first to arrive on scene. Gun shots, domestic dispute, children involved. None of it was a good feeling. Things like this only had two ways of ending, bad or good, and there was just no telling which one they were getting. Markus and her stood by the door, weapons drawn as a few other officers were next to them, needing all the back up they could get at this point, medics on standby in case someone was injured. As they knocked on the door, identified themselves, and when all they heard was yells and screams it took less than ten seconds for Mark to kick the door down and they were in. Clearing each room, and right when she was going to check the final door with another officer that’s when all hell broke loose. Kids were crying, a woman was crying and all they saw was a man holding the woman by the neck and using her as a shield. There are moments when the universe is warning a person about something, she felt this years ago, when she was at that scene before she got hurt but this was part of the job. Gabby couldn’t back out now, not when the lives of others depended on it, it all happened so fast the woman was shoved to the ground and the man took off running. The other officer was helping the lady up and Gabby took off after him, “Adams is on the run! Officer Hunter in pursuit” She heard a few confirmations and Markcus staying close behind but she barely heard a damn thing.

Running through the streets of the Mission District was the last thing she wanted to be doing. Shoving people out of her way as she followed him, “Move move move!” Was all she could say as they continued running. He had to get tired at some point, she was near huffing. Rounding into a smaller side street, the redhead watched Adams disappear down a smaller alley and instantly her gut told her to turn back, save herself and just forget about him. Drawing her gun again, her steps got softer as she rounded the corner slower than him, her eyes bouncing back and forth between each side, each sound and every small movement she could. The further she went down the darkened alley the worse her belly ached, and that anxiety she felt for days felt minuarture to the anxiety and fear that held her body hostage. Swallowing slightly, she licked her lips as a soft breath passed through her lips, eyes taking in every detail she could, he couldn’t have gone far, he was slowing down a few blocks away, he was close. He had to be.

The clanging of metal made her turn, gun raised as she watched a stray cat run from behind the garbage cans, shattering from the area. One move fucked her, and as she heard the shuffling of shoes and rock, she knew. Barely having time to turn, Adams was right there; 6’3 and near two hundred pounds and he was taking her out like she was nothing. The distant sound of cop cars and sirens weren’t enough to stop him, really it only made it worse. Tackling her down to the ground was nothing to him, and even when she tried to stop it, scraping her hands, ignoring the sting and blood rushing, it wasn’t enough. Her gun flew from her hands, metal scraping against the ground, head smashing off the ground and it took everything in her to fight back. Her fist collided with his cheek, temporarily shocking him, and it was just enough to attempt to move. She was scrambling up trying to grab her gun, trying to get some sort of leverage over him but he was too quick, too big, too strong. His hand wrapped around her ankle, dragging her back to him, her lungs were burning, her head hurt in ways she didn’t ever want to remember and she could practically hear her heartbeat.

Dragging her back only added to the scraps and cuts on her hands, she was clawing her way at the ground trying desperately to find something, anything to get her out of this. His hands were gripping her so strong she was sure she’d have fingerprints, turning her around his fist connected with her face. Blood was rushing down her nose as he laid another smack down onto her, gabby was trying to shove him off, claw at him, harm him in any way, but he was a lady hitter, this was probably fun for him while she fought through everything just to make sure she made it out okay. His one hand reached down to grab her throat as his other hand reached behind him, and into the back of his pants and tugged out the firearm he was previously. The hand on her neck tightened as the gun pressed into her forehead, at least this one had enough brains to aim for the head.

BANG BANG BANG

Gabby’s eyes shut instantly, and when she wasn’t met with pain and darkness her eye creeped open watching a bloodied Adams start gasping as he toppled off her. Shoving him fully off of hef, her eyes widened as she tried to drag herself away from him, feet and sirens were closer and suddenly Markus was sliding next to her, trying to get her to sit still, wait for a medic, but she couldn’t function. The pain in the back of her head made her vision blurry, her hand was gripping Mark’s arm hard as she tried desperately to catch her breath. A medic was by her side in seconds and they were helping her up, trying to talk to her, but all she could think about was how much pain she was in, how the ringing in her ears wouldn’t stop and the phantom feeling of his hand around her neck wasn’t disappearing.

What a shit fucking week.

...

....

“Hello is this Max Fields?.... Right, Hi. This is Captain Oliver Lee with the San Francisco Police Department I’m calling in regards to Gabby Hunter..Listen, Gabs has you as her emergency contact and she got hurt tonight in the field. She’ll be fine but she’s gunna be benched for a bit, you just gotta come sign her out or they won’t let her leave. We’re at Saint Frances..room 603 Just get here when you can, she’s pretty out of it right now so you got some time. Don’t leave her hanging, can’t wait to meet you.”

#self para #drunk nights and streetlights

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reading-between-truth-and-lies · 4 years ago

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(Have A little snippet of what is now considered a past conversation between Kokichi and Shuichi. It’s the night before Kokichi started going to class. If anyone wants me to do snippets of Kokichi meeting each character for the first time just send in an ask! ~Mod Kokichi)

Shuichi steps into his room, another long day of classes and nosy friends behind him. He sighs exhaustively and sits on the edge of his bed, hunching over. A moment of quiet passes as the detective relaxes enough to find his words. "Tomorrow is supposed to be the first day you'll be joining me in my classes... How are you feeling?" He doesn't bother addressing the kitsune by name, there was simply no need. Shuichi knew the other was there and awake.

Kokichi poked his head and upper body out of the void. he crossed his arms against the floor, resting his his chin on his arms as he looked at the detective. “You know when you talk like that people are gonna think you talk to yourself Shu~” He smirked then shrugged his shoulders. “What’s there to worry about? It’s not like I am being graded like you losers.”

The Kitsune moved to put a finger to his chin tilting his head in a thinking motion. “Now that I think about it... I have never gone to a school before.” He then moved his finger to right above his lip with a smirk. “I mean when the orphanage found me they tried but I never went~ It sounded soooooo boring and I had better things to devote my time too. Besides I learned everything I know from my fellow kids, the streets and my past animal pals.”

The detective sighs, "Some people already think that." It was a slight exaggeration, collage pupils have probably never thought that. Shuichi continues, "Ah- but, you haven't been around more then a few people for a long time now, right? Just as long as you're prepared for that..."

Shuichi finds the energy to shuffle through his briefcase to pull out a notebook, he finally looks in the kitsune's general direction as the male extends it towards Kokichi. "I-I can give you a run-down of my classes as we move between them tomorrow, but I wrote them all down in this; what you do with the notebook is up to you." And then, rather hesitantly adds "S-some of these might uhm, interest you, as scary as the idea sounds..."

Kokichi pursed his lips slightly before lowering his ears slightly letting a bit of his true feelings. "Y-You want honesty? I really don't know. Guess I am a little worried. Maybe. It has been awhile..."

Seeing the notebook held out to him the kitsune crawled out of his little hole to sit right in front of Shuichi. He took the note book and looked it over. It was just a plain red notebook. Nothing really special about it.

Opening it he looked at what the detective wrote. He already saw few classes that sounded interesting enough to keep his attention. "A quick run down tomorrow might help. Maybe." He spoke without looking up from what he was reading.

Shuichi nods, "Y-yeah." The kitsune seemed to be placing some amount of trust in him and that sort of jumpstarted the detective's anxiety, but damnit now is not the time!

He finds his eyes drifting down to the other's hands, mindlessly looking at them, "Let me know if you need to step out of a class for a bit. My professor's already know you'll be with me a-and that you're, um... Different, i-in this case." Shuichi can't help but grimace at his use of the word different. And now, clean up the verbal mess you just made-

"They don't know anything more though, so don't worry about that, okay?" The detective back-peddles. "S-sorry, im probably not doing a good job of preparing you..." He sighs, lowering his gaze to the floor, resting his face in a hand.

Kokichi nodded "Okay. I know. They told me that all the professors know I'm not an actual student here. But to treat me like I was one unless you stepped in or something goes wrong with- No, Encase the bird comes. I always have to deal with the bird. Noone else should have too."

Kokichi panicked slightly seeing the other get depressed suddenly. "H-Hey, Your doing fine! This is new to you just as much as its new to me. B-But I guess you are helping. Maybe..."

"The bird..." The words carry like lead on his tongue, but Shuichi nods slowly. Just keep going along with it. "Y-yeah. I'll do my best, Oma-kun." He gives a small grin he hopes is encouraging. The male glances over to the small clock and the grin fades, "I'll- no, we'll need to be up by 7:30..." The detective yawns softly.

Kokichi nodded and gave a faint smile. He looked at the time and winced slightly. "If that's the case then sleep is needed." He crawled back over to his void to slide back into it. Luckily he was already in his sleep wear: a galaxy themed shirt stolen from Kaito.

Shuichi nods and stands once the kitsune was back in the void, changing out of his day clothes and throwing on an old T-shirt. He grunts, laying down on his bed; thoughts continuing to spin in his head. If he's going to be by me now, then I should just... "Uhm... K-kokichi-kun?" The male tries out casually addressing the other.

Kokichi froze in his void at hearing Shuichi use his actual name. A small blush dusting his cheeks. He just calls out from inside the void, voice muffled and slightly distorted "Yes Shu?"

"Goodnight"

"...Yea, N-Night shu!"

#danganronpa fantasy au #ask-kistune-kokichi-n-co #danganronpa v3 #ask blog #drv3 #kokichi ouma #kitsune!kokichi #shuichi saihara #halfghost!shuichi #past conversations #mod kokichi #mod shuichi #plot tag

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deeeelightfuldee · 4 years ago

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Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though.

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago?

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough.

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler.

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss.

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary.

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs.

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

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orionwhispers · 6 years ago

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Wishing It Was You; Tommy Shelby Imagine

(A/N - hey guys... its been a while. I started this in april and finally finished it. she might be my longest yet my fave imagine ive done. im tired and lazy so sorry if there are any mistakes. PLZ let me know what you think and my ask is always open!! ily)

Tommy knows he's standing next to Grace.

He can feel the warmth radiating off her skin, can feel the pressure of his hand against the curve of her waist, can smell her expensive perfume, with it’s notes of rose water and lemon, lingering on her neck, but all he sees is you. Grace is leaning into him, her giggles sounding like twinkling diamonds as she laughs at a joke he hasn’t registered, his mind completely preoccupied with thoughts of the woman standing at the other side of the room.

He hadn’t expected to see you here. In fact, he hadn’t expected to ever see you again. It strikes him like a bullet in his gut, leaving him winded and gasping for air in the middle of an expansive ballroom, the gin on his tongue suddenly as hot as acid.

Have you seen him yet? The thought fills his brain like a buzzing hornets nest, the feeling is immediate and prickling at the back of his skull.

Do you know he’s here? Have you noticed him?

Most importantly though… Did you come alone?

His hand unconsciously tightens around Grace’s waist and she smiles at him, as sweet as sugar, completely unaware of the femme fatale on the opposite side of the room, capturing her husbands attention and luring him like a siren.

He bites his tongue until he can taste metal and copper. A fresh wave of guilt and shame collapse over him but he swallows it down like it’s nothing but a lump in his throat.

He loves Grace, he adores her. He isn’t doing anything wrong.

And yet, he can’t take his eyes off of you.

At first he thought he was going mad. He hadn’t believed in ghosts and spirits since he was a boy, sat in a caravan, reading tarot cards with his Mum. He became too used to death and decay in the war, too used to seeing blood and rot to believe in a chance of a second life - not when he had sinned so much in his first.

He hadn’t thought of you in so long. Hadn’t conjured up the image of you in his mind like he used to do late at night, imagining the feel of your skin against the pads of his fingertips, the smell between your shoulder blades, the weight of your ribs underneath his.

You were always at the back of his mind though. No matter how hard he pushed you away, your smile and voice would always linger at the back of his head, a beam of sunlight whenever the shovels would get too loud.

You were real though. You were back. He could tell only because of the way you captivated everyone around you, the faces of those enchanted by you were proof that you weren’t just a memory his drunken mind had created. Throwing your head back and giggling, chewing on the bottom of your painted lips, you had everyone under your spell.

He can’t take his eyes away from you. Its like he’s a puppet and you’re toying with the strings without even realising. He’s tethered to you, no matter how far apart you may be.

“Tommy?”

Grace’s syrup like voice cuts through him like a blade, and he straightens up. He’s acting like a teenager and the thought repulses him, he’s a businessman, not a child. He’s fought in the war, dealt with fearless gangsters and killed men with his bare hands, how come seeing you has rendered him breathless?

He turns to look at her, her gentle features illuminated under the chandeliers, her brow is furrowed with a mixture of mild irritation and curiosity and he lets her familiarity wash over him like the ocean. She smiles kindly at him, turning her attention back to the guests surrounding her, and Tommy feels a clench of white hot shame that whilst he is stood next to his wife, his mind is dizzied with the thoughts of another woman.

Grace is Grace.

She’s beautiful and soft and kind and warm. She was the stability he needed, the type of woman he needed to come home to, she tended to his wounds and listened to his rants and kissed his scars. She was too good for him and he knew it. She had lied and deceived him in the past, but it strengthened their love, rebuilt their trust like a fortress. He loved her, he wanted to have a family with her.

But she would never be you.

You were as familiar as the peaked cap that adorned his head, you were as much as a part of him as the gun in his holster. Your face flashed in his mind whenever he heard the last gasp of air from an enemy, it was you who appeared in his dreams and rescued him from the depths of his nightmares. It was as if you were stitched into his skin since the very first day you met when you were children.

He needs to get home, he can’t stay. Too long and you’ll sink your claws into him. Too long and everything he’s worked so goddamn hard for will start to crumble around him.

He flattens his palm against the back of his wife’s dress, ready to make hasty excuses and polite apologies and leave, nestle her into the back of his car and drive far away.

He opens his mouth to speak, but before words can slip from his tongue, he spots a smug, sparkling eyed Polly approaching, arms spread, lips curled into a smirk.

Fuck being polite. He’s Tommy fucking Shelby, he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

His hands curve around Grace’s spine and she tuts in protest, ready to scold her husband for his haste, but she snaps her lips shut at his flushed expression.

“Oh Tommy! Isn’t it wonderful?”

Polly approaches, already buzzed, arms spread like a bird in flight, just waiting to engulf him. A cigarette dangles from the corner of her cherry painted lips, her eyes gleaming with a mix of alcohol and mischief.

He inwardly curses, Polly cornering him like a lioness, ready to tear him and his wife apart. She’s practically chomping at the bit, the delight of seeing your familiar face and the knowledge of what that’ll do to Tommy and Grace making her float across the floor. She’s drunk on elation and glasses of champagne, her mind too fucked to even think about the consequences.

“Oh Tom!” She repeats, cradling his face like he’s a boy again. Under any other circumstances he would be delighted to see his Aunt so happy, a sight he was rarely blessed with, but now he’s wishing for anything else. Grace’s grip tightens, he can feel her stare on the side of his skin, burning holes into his flesh. Polly feels her gaze and turns to the blonde beauty, her disdain for her nephews wife enough to drill the final holes into his coffin, sealing him shut into eternal darkness.

“It’s (Y/N)! She’s back.”

Grace stiffens beside him, arching a penciled eyebrow at her husband and opening her lips. Tommy can feel his palms moisten, an unfamiliar sensation that takes him back to being a teenager, one that only ever occurred around you.

“Who’s (Y/N), Thomas?”

————————————————————

You were the same age as Ada, reserved and soft spoken, new to Birmingham and all of its smoke and gristle coloured cobbles. She saw you one day in the school yard; sat alone on your first day, picking at the skin on your swollen lips, round doe eyes following the other children roughhousing and laughing. She was immediately drawn to you, her inquisitive mind growing protective, and it wasn’t long before she strode over to you, confident as ever, introducing herself and deciding to take you under her wing.

The two of you became fast friends, sharing jam sandwiches and apple slices under the sun, skipping along the streets and throwing stones into the cut at dusk before your parents hastily called you inside and scolded your recklessness. You barely left one another’s side, spending every night you could at each others house, giggling and gossiping under the covers, trying on your mothers makeup and making sticky pinkie promises to be best friends forever.

The years passed and you still remained attached at the hip, growing closer than ever as your limbs grew and you wandered into adolescence, facing every problem you encountered together. You were Ada’s shoulder to cry on when her mother passed, sleeping next to her in a single bed for month on end as the night terrors kept her awake. You grew closer to Ada’s family as well, especially considering the amount of time you spent there. Aunt Pol became a surrogate mother to you, chastising you and supporting you and always being there for you, sometimes with a smack on the back of the legs, like the time she caught you both smoking before you hit your teens.

You became a fond fixture in the Shelby household, slotting in like just another straggly stray at the dinner table every night. You were young, but you weren’t stupid, you had known the Shelby boys since the very first day you came back to their house and even as a child you could sense the mischievous aura surrounding them. As you grew, so did your curiosity, and it wasn’t long before you learnt of the betting shop located in the back room of Pol’s house. Ada and Polly were both protective of you, and managed to keep you out of trouble despite the spark of interest that brewed in your stomach and so that back room just became another chest to lock in the back of your mind.

They both knew that there was something different about you, and as you grew from a timid child to an inquisitive teenager your thirst became insatiable. Ada had always recognised the unpredictable nature the you harboured, you could be quiet and meek but under the surface your brain was a kaleidoscope of spontaneity. It was you who suggested late night adventures and rain splattered trips that got you both into trouble, you who dreamt of cities and lives bigger than the both of you. Ada adored that about you, your desire for change something she wasn’t used to in the dismal, grey town she grew up in but deep down she was terrified that you wouldn’t ever be satisfied.

She wasn’t the only one who noticed the impulse in you. From the very first time he saw you all those years ago he noticed the crackle of electricity under your docile exterior, bubbling under the surface like lightning that struck the sky. Of course, back then you were just a child and Tommy was far too interested in pursuing the betting shop than taking notice of his little sister’s friend, but he always kept an eye on you. The two of you had a bizarre relationship, despite the age gap between you both, you managed to find a level ground. Whilst Arthur and John would ruffle your hair and swing you over their shoulders as if you were still a toddler, Tommy would talk to you as if you were an adult, the two of you could bicker like siblings but there was a mutual respect underlying it all, you both connected by your need for more.

It came to a head when Tommy was counting money at the betting shop one evening in August. The sun was fading to the colour of a bruised peach and the air was still warm, notes stuck to his fingers and he hummed in frustration just as the large doors swung open. His head snapped up and he came face to face with a flushed Ada, her cheeks were as red as a Gala apple and tears welled in her wide eyes. Tommy immediately reached for the gun shoved in it’s holster ready to send bullets flying over his watery eyed sister, before her exasperated voice broke through the silence.

“It’s (Y/N)! She’s had a fight with her fucking dad and now she’s gone! Please, Tom, can you help me find her?”

As Tommy had the family car, he was left trawling through the country lanes surrounding the city whilst Ada and Pol searched your usual hiding spots in Small Heath. According to Ada, you had about a two hour head start from your house, and Tommy’s foot itched over the pedals at the thought. This was hardly the first time you had run away, usually it was over to Polly’s for the night after you had had enough of your family, but after a particularly bad spout with your parents last year, Ada had found you halfway to London. You were definitely a flight risk.

Tommy’s hands clenched over the steering wheel as the sky darkened, you were a beautiful teenager, walking alone through the streets at dusk; it was a recipe for disaster. Tom knew you could hold your own, but the creatures that lurked around at night were ravenous and there was no way in hell he would let them sink their claws in you.

Tommy could feel heat prick at the bottom of his spine. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that the feelings he harboured for you stemmed much more than the ‘sibling love’ he disguised them as. The attraction between the two of you had always been there, something magnetic joining you both before you could realise it. Over the years it had blossomed, despite his attempts to distinguish the fire that you brought out in him, something about you had captivated him.

All of his thoughts turned to wisps of smoke as he rounded a corner, nearly swerving into a thorn bush as he spotted you. You were walking with determination, and he couldn’t help the smirk that grew on his face as he watched you march forward like a solider, your small frame filled with force. Your hair was loose, draping around your shoulders like a halo, bouncing with every step you took.

He trailed behind you, edging his foot off the gas and waiting as the car slowed next to you. He knew you noticed the intrusion from the way your shoulders tensed briefly, and he allowed the car to match your pace, the two of you moving like boats on water. He knew you would be the first to speak, and allowed your words to run over him like warm milk and honey.

“Hello, Thomas. Out for a drive?”

He smiled, rolling his eyes slightly before responding. “C’mon (Y/N), time to come home.”

“No thank you.”

“It’s getting late.”

“Is it? I hadn’t noticed.”

He tensed his foot against the gas, the car rumbling lowly and rolling forward. He pulled it into park right in front of you, the dark exterior blocking you from walking any further up the lane. You exhaled in frustration, the tips of your ears and the apples of your cheeks flushed the colour of Shepard’s delight, and he cant help but bite back the smile curling in his mouth. He patted the seat playfully and watched as you scuffed your foot into the mud like a child, coyly sucking on your tongue before clambering next to him, crossing your arms and settling into the leather.

Tommy’s hands rested on the steering wheel, he flexed his fingers for a moment before turning to face you, examining your skin under the dim light. Both of your fathers had a lot in common, alcoholic, nasty and violent, something dark like rum boiling inside of their blood, men who ruled with fear and aggression. There were no marks he could see, not like the time your arm was coated in purple thumb prints that left him seething, only calmed once you and Ada had snuck off to her room and he could control his thoughts with a cigarette. That night he pretended he couldn't see Polly watching him like a hawk.

“He didn’t hit me this time.”

Good. He would have killed him.

“Kind of wish he did though, Mum bought a new frying pan that could have come in handy.”

He let you talk, the birds and the wind the only noises disturbing the peace. You were quiet, and it was rare for you to open up like this, so he cherished the moment despite the underlying bleakness of it all.

“I know it seems childish, but it just feels easier to get away.”

He hesitated, looking down at you picking your nails in the front seat of his car. The words forming on the edge of his tongue tasting like whisky, not knowing how to comfort you without implicating himself. He tried to imagine himself as Polly or Ada, the kind of person who would know what to say.

“You have people that care about you, you don’t need to fuckin’ up and leave.”

“I know I do, but anywhere is better than Small Heath.”

He blew air through his teeth. “It ain’t so bad.”

You swivelled to face him, round eyes and raised eyebrows set on him like a sniper. “Really, Tom? You do know you’re saying all this sat in the front seat of a bloody Bugatti? Bought with dirty money might I add?”

It’s the first time he’s seen you so heated and despite the truth in your words the sight of your small face twisted in annoyance is enough to make his lips curl, only adding fuel to your fire.

“You can sit here and tell me that all you want, but you know better than anyone that there’s more out there than Birmingham. I can see it in you Tom, and if you want you can act like you don’t need anything more, then that’s fine by me! But I hope you’re alright with lying to yourself.”

He stared deep into your eyes, expression blank and solid as if your words had truly punched him in the gut. You watched him for a moment, cheeks flushing slightly and eyebrows scrunching, wondering if maybe you had over stepped the line before his eyes glimmered and he held his hands up playfully, peaked cap bouncing with every exaggerated movement.

“Alright, bloody hell. Remind me not to get in a fight with you. I can see how much our Ada has rubbed off on you.”

You let a tiny smile tug at the edge of your lips before it expanded and took over your face, tossing your head back and letting your hair fall over your shoulders as you grinned. Tommy swore he felt his heart skip a beat. He started the car as quickly as he had stalled it, feeling it purr and jut under his feet, the world righted once again now that you were sat next to him. The car rolled over a bridge, and after you crossed over onto the other side he cleared his throat, opening his mouth to speak.

“If you ever feel like running away again, come and see me first, alright?”

He kept his eyes on the road, but could feel yours on the side of is neck, running softly over his flesh like fingertips.

“If I didn’t know any better, Thomas,” You spoke teasingly, using his full name just to get under his skin, “I’d think you were going soft.”

The evening sun beat down onto the two of you, and as the car lurched forward he mirrored your own smile, because maybe he was, for you.

————————————————————————-

After that long drive home it was like a switch had flipped. The two of you became closer, as if an invisible thread was tying you both together. You were allowed into the betting shop more often, counting coins and change and bickering playfully with the Blinders. Tommy took you to your first horse race under the guise of “teaching you more about the business” you wore your finest dress and he pretended he couldn't feel his breath catch in his throat when he looked at you. His hands clung protectively around your waist as you downed a glass of strawberry wine, rolling his eyes and smiling as you laughed into him as the horses galloped and the crowds cheered. You spent evenings climbing through the window in his bedroom, sitting on the sloped roof tiles as rain pattered onto the streets below, sharing a cigarette and watching the stars peek through the smoky air, unsaid words bubbling behind both of your lips as yours knees pressed together.

The rest of the family noticed the change between the two of you, but said nothing. Even Ada couldn't help smiling to herself when she saw the glances that you shared, her kind and clever older brother was the only man she could possibly think was good enough for her best friend. Although she would never admit it, it meant he was distracted enough to not notice her leaving to spend time with a certain man named Freddie.

Tommy drove you to the beach for the first time, exploring the pier and walking barefoot across the sand. Your wide smile as you danced in the surf and talked under baying seagulls was forever cemented into his mind, he vowed silently that he would move mountains just to see you happy, the feeling unlike anything he had ever felt. He taught you how to shoot a gun, your body pulled flush against his as you squealed in delight as the bullet ricocheted off the can. Your conversations flowed like running water, able to converse and laugh about everything and anything from dusk till dawn. He was mischievous and playful and would crack jokes even on your worst days, when your father was mean and your mother was distant, he would make you feel whole again.

That’s why, on a rainy Thursday as the two of you walked side by side by canal, you pulled his face towards yours with your small hands and kissed him. He froze, with all of his previous girlfriends he had always initiated things first, but with you he had felt uncharacteristically hesitant, terrified of scaring you off and losing you. However as your parted lips met and he felt you smile into his mouth, tasting of cherry jam and stolen tobacco, he let his hands snake around your waist as if they had been carved there. The wind whistled and the rain splattered both of you, his peaked cap sheltering his ruffled hair and your face from the droplets, it was freezing but heat crackled between the two of you. You were practically half his size, resting on your tip toes to meet him fully, but in that moment he knew you had him utterly under your thumb.

The relationship the two of you shared was pure and untainted. It was all soft skin and moonlight painted faces, freckles and wide teeth and apricot coloured skies. His hand would brush against yours as he walked you home, you’d laugh into his neck at the Pictures, your words would mingle together at midnight as you sat and talked. Things couldn't have been more perfect, as sweet as the whisky tea you would drink with Ada and Polly, as merry as the laughs you shared with the brothers and as syrupy as the kisses you would have with your first love. But just like the smoke that filled the once clear sky above your heads, your life was soon to darken.

It all happened so suddenly, maybe your blissful youth had created a candy coated picture over the political dramas happening around you, but now they couldn’t be ignored. There was going to be a war. You knew from the start the brothers would be drafted, they were filled with pride for their country, they were young and fit and strong, they knew how to fight, punching and slashing with their razor blades, but you loathed the idea. You bit your tongue until it bled, knowing there was no point in arguing, but that didn't stop you staining your pillow with tears every night.

You refused to let the boys see you in such a state, and tried your best to enjoy the last few days you had until you would be separated from your family. The ache in your chest remained despite your false bravado, dinners were different, quieter, and you would often catch Polly staring at nothing, as if she could see a ghost.

Tommy took you away the night before. He drove the caravan for miles, his favourite dappled mare pulling you through fields of wildflowers as the sun followed you overhead. You parked in the woods by the river, silence falling over both of you. His hands laced through yours, thumb running over your soft skin, and you watched him, drinking in all of his beautiful features like whisky.

“Will you wait for me?”

His voice is quiet, so unlike his usual boyish, playful tone. Seeing him so vulnerable was like a bullet entering your heart. You rested your head on his shoulder, feeling the soft cotton of his shirt dance against your cheek.

“Forever.”

He intakes sharply. He plucks a daisy from the grass, toying with the tiny flower between his large palms before turning to you and pushing it behind your ear, looking at you in a way that makes your body melt like butter.

“I love you.” He watches you, gauging for your reaction, but you don’t give him any, you just look up at him with those big fucking eyes. He exhales, turning back to face the water as he continues. “Known it since we first met. Since that very first day, when we were just kids, I knew. You had a hold on me since day one. I couldn’t leave without telling you…telling you how grateful I am for you.”

His voice softens, “How much you mean to me and because of that,” He clears his throat as if struggling to get the words out, “I’ll understand if you want to move on, find someone else or…”

You don’t let him continue, you attach your lips to his as if they were magnetic, feeling him collapse under your touch. You pull away much too soon for his liking, a smile reaching your eyes as you press your forehead against his, the light making you look angelic. “Stop talking.” You kiss him again, harder, in that teasing way you have mastered so well.

“I love you too.”

Under the stars, as the moonlight bathes the caravan in a soft eerie glow, you pull off the straps off your sundress, watching Tommy follow you as if he’s in a trance. Calloused, firm hands meet your tender flesh as he worships you like a Goddess, unable to believe that you are human. You give yourself to him fully, and it’s unlike anything he’s felt, the connection flowing between your bodies stronger than anything, love and lust connecting as your bodies mesh. Despite his earlier sentiment, as he buries himself inside of you, he loathes the idea of another man touching you and you can feel the heat radiating from underneath his skin and pull his face to you, staring him down, telling him everything he needs to know.

You’re his, and he’s yours.

Candles flicker around you, painting your limbs the colour of the sunrise. You playfully touch his nose, and then his lips, dragging them open with your finger. Your bodies are slick with sweat, exhausted but alive, feeling as if you are the only two people in the world despite the knowledge of what lurks ahead, you just feel young and blissfully in love.

“You won’t forget about me, will you Shelby?” You tease. “Won’t find a nice French woman to take my place?”

You’re joking but he kisses you silent, eyes connecting to yours, “I’ll never be able to replace you, little one.”

——————————————————————

No one expected the war to last as long as it did, least of all you. Every day you sat by the radio, waiting and wanting desperately for news that it was over, but every day you would leave with tears filling your eyes. You busied yourself the best you could during those long, dark days. You and the girls ran the betting shop, you looked after John’s kids and Finn as if they were your own - despite your young age, the war had forced everyone to grow up.

Four years is a long time, and that’s exactly how you felt as you waited on the platform, hand in hand with Ada, waiting for your boys to come home. You felt as if you had swallowed rocks, nausea bubbling inside of you, acid in your throat. He had been home three times since it had started. Three times in four years had you been able to see his face in real life, touch his skin, tell him words that wouldn’t do justice on paper. You had seen the effects of the war distort the people around you, heard awful tales of shell shock and seen men returning home with missing limbs and broken hearts. Every day you waited for that call, that piece of paper that told you Tommy wouldn’t be returning, but blessedly it never came, and finally, he was coming home.

You’ll always remember that day he came off of the platform. The last time you had seen him had been so long ago, but even then you had noticed the grey of his skin, the pain in his eyes. He was quieter, milder, refusing to speak of the horrors he must have endured, instead focusing on light happy stories. You wondered how much he had changed since then.

He was beautiful.

He still had that boyish look, his sharp jaw and tousled hair, but he looked older, haunted. You felt your knees buckle at the mere sight of him, the way his eyes danced over the platform, looking for something, someone - you. Your eyes met and you watched them glimmer, something you had been starved of for so long that you devoured the feeling. Euphoria bit through your skin and tears pricked at your eyes. You ignored everyone else, storming through the crowd like you were the solider, racing with your arms wide open, not caring how childish you looked. He smiled in what looked like relief and laughed in exhaustion as you fell into his arms. He held you so tight that you could feel the air expel from your chest but you didn’t care, you cried hot, wet tears into his shoulder, and you felt him bury his head in your hair. He looked at you, breathing hard and opening his mouth, but before he could speak you smashed your lips onto his, melting into his touch like all those years ago.

“Welcome home, Tommy.”

——————————————————————

Weeks passed, and it was as if the darkness had seeped into his skin. You longed to tear it off of him, wished that you could swap yourself with him, carry a little bit of his pain, but you knew that was impossible. Night was when he found solace, with you wrapped up in his arms, breathing in your sweet clean scent, something he had been deprived of for far too long. If you strayed too far in the night, woke up for some tea for a sore throat or simply because your mind was restless, you would hear the gut wrenching moans and cries leave his lips and would dart up the stairs two at a time to crawl back onto him. The first time you heard it he sounded like a fox with its paw in a trap, something so inhumane that it stayed with you like an awful lullaby on loop in your brain. As you managed to wake him from his own nightmare, he pulled you impossibly close, breathing into your hair as you whispered words of comfort, feeling utterly helpless.

After the war, everyone had their own poison. Arthur started boxing, channeling his anger and frustration into fighting, Freddie started protesting, looking for change in places he found wrong, and for others like Danny Whizzbang, sometimes the war clung its teeth in too far and refused to let go.

Tommy however, became obsessed with power.

You had known about his incredible work ethic and savvy business skills since the very first day you met, but now his hunger was insatiable. He was up before the birds had started chirping, planting soft kisses on your collarbones as he left for work, and didn’t come to bed until you physically had to drag him away from his desk. You were worried, but as always he conducted himself in a manner that made it seem like he was always in control, smooth and charming, unfazed by his hectic schedule and the looks you sent him.

It came as no shock to anyone that Tommy had been leader of his unit, the kind of man that people would listen to and follow without hesitation, the kind of man that knew how to be in charge. You knew some things about what had happened in the tunnels, horrors so unimaginable that it tore your heart in two to think of him suffering, and you were just left wondering what kind of marks that would leave on a man. His high ranking earned him thanks and praise wherever he went, he was honourable and that lead more and more men to join the Blinders, wanting to be close to such a powerful man, wanting the things he could offer.

The experiences he’d suffered through had led him to become disillusioned and determined to move his family up in the world, especially you. He became increasingly overprotective, a trait you at first found endearing and then ultimately suffocating, you knew he meant you know harm, wanting to shield you from the things he had endured, but you felt like a child again. You longed for trips to the country, to walk along the beach with him, to sleep under the stars, but it was as if that part of him had been killed on the front line.

You would be a liar if you said you were unaware of the illegal activity going on in the betting shop, you had always known of the shady dealings going on behind closed doors, but they thrilled you, excited you, mainly because you always knew that Tommy was in control, he could never get hurt. Your whole life you had always wanted more, hungry for a lifestyle that never bored you, but now you were wondering if you had bitten off too much.

He was changing, morphing in front of your eyes like a creature you had read about in a storybook when you were a child. Growing up his violent tendencies were sporadic, but with both of your fathers being unpleasant men he was always tainted by his family reputation. You had helped sew razor blades into their peaked caps, had seen the fights in the school yard over petty childish things, and had wiped his knuckles clean when he beat Tim Green black and blue after he called you and Ada vile names. Back then it was exciting, the adrenaline making you fall onto him, enthralled by this beautiful man, feeling safer with him than you had ever felt before, but now you were wondering if you should be scared.

He would rather die than hit you. He had never called you anything other than sugary sweet pet names, never once raised a hand other than to caress your cheek, never in a million years did you think he would ever hurt you, not intentionally. But it pierced your heart like a bullet, walking down the street, watching those you once called friends hide in their houses, whisper his name like it was sour milk, spit at your feet once you had left. It never bothered you what those small minded people thought of you, but knowing the awful things they thought of your Tommy, that killed you. It felt like a knife in your ribs when you leant back against him and felt the unfamiliar weight of a gun tucked into the waistband of his expensive trousers, as if it was nothing more than the cigarettes he constantly carried. It clawed at your throat like a rabid dog, when he came home at midnight, covered in blood that wasn't his, his eyes grey and pale.

You wanted to be by his side throughout everything, holding his hand and being the woman that he had turned to for everything, but it felt like you were hidden in the shadows. He didn’t want you involved, wanting to rise up on his own merit, and give you all of the rewards without seeing the carnage he was leaving behind, but that wasn’t you. You weren’t some housewife who just tended to his wounds and looked the other way when he stuffed the local officers pockets with bribes, you wanted to be his equal.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you, it was that he didn’t trust anyone else.

Some nights you would sit staring at the moon from the windowsill of his small bedroom, reminiscing on making love under his scratchy sheets, giggling into his skin, thinking of days when you would tell him anything and everything, and he would always know what to say. You hated yourself for thinking this way, knowing that he had fought for his country, with the terrors he had lived through, of course he would be a changed man, but this seemed more than that and it tore your heart in half.

He’d slip into the room at midnight, any miseries of the day diminishing when he saw your small frame, and he’d wrap his arms around you, whispering into your hair. Any bad thoughts you had would vanish as he cradled you, reliving all the times you had in the past, feeling as if home was a person, but you would be jolt at his words. He’d tell you of all the things he would buy you one day, spun tales of all the things you deserved as if he could magic them from thin air. He spoke of a large manor, marrying you in a ceremony with a thousand roses, expensive cars and hand-cut jewels, things that were enough to make anyone salivate, but not you.

The war had forced you to put your life in perspective. Those gut wrenchingly long nights away from your lover, biting your lip raw wondering if he was suffering. Days spent feeling numb, trying to distract yourself from thoughts that plagued your head, you wanted to escape. Small Heath had suffocated you, the smoke and the ash now clung to your lungs thicker than ever, and you were desperate for a gasp of fresh air. You thought that was what Tommy wanted too, thought that the both of you would flee Birmingham, climb on to a ship, sail around countries neither of you could pronounce, kiss under hot rain and see the buildings you read about in the newspapers, but maybe not.

You would have to make sacrifices. That’s what love is, you told yourself, tying your hair up with an expensive silk hairband that Tommy had bought, that wasn’t really you. You loved him, adored him, you were so head over heels with him that the thought of leaving made you feel nauseous. You would follow him to the end of the earth if he asked you to. This was the man you wanted to marry, the only man you could picture yourself having a life with, and you knew that he felt exactly the same. That’s what love is, you remind yourself, staring at the unfamiliar painted face in the mirror, it’s about compromise, right?

When Arthur bought the Garrison, despite Tommy’s apprehension, you took a job as his accountant and secretary, helping him keep business afloat when all he wanted was to drink his money. You fell into a comfortable routine, waking up early and working late, taking extra time on Sundays to learn how to bake, going a little further into town to buy fresh vegetables from the market, reading books that had sat on their shelf for years. You wore a smile that could melt even the toughest of hearts, but deep down you were so mind numbingly bored, it felt like you had slipped on somebody else's skin, trapped in your own ivory tower. It all became worth it though, when Tommy would come home, his skin igniting against yours, lips savouring the taste of your flesh, the only good thing in both of your days. His hips pressed against yours, scratching your nails into his back and feeling him melt under you, enthralled by you, both of you so totally in love that it radiated around the small room, you knew why you did it. Curled under his arm he would smile and laugh, tell you snippets of his day, talk about the future, and hearing his words and charming accent, the way they fell from his lips like wisps of gold, running his hands through your hair, knowing that it was for a better future for both of you, you accepted your fate.

Ada noticed it first. Of course she did, you two were practically sisters. You knew each other like the back streets of Birmingham, like the lines and curves on your hands. She watched the way your vibrancy dimmed until you could fit in with the grey coloured photographs on Polly’s coffee table, listened as your giggles and playful teasing came to a halt and you spent more and more hours alone, separated from the world. She was heartbroken, torn between shaking you and forcing you to come to your senses, willing your vivacious personality to rise to the surface, and knowing that doing so could ruin the best thing Tommy had going for him, and shatter both of you into a million pieces. The rest of the family saw it as well, your light dulling with every day that passed, but they were unsure how to help without stepping over the protective line Tom drew around you, and with business tougher than ever, there was more than enough on their own plates.

To Tommy you were the most precious thing in his life. Because of you, his youth had been damn near perfect, meeting you had changed his life and he felt that he owed you the world. After the war you had rescued him from the depths of his own murky head, your letters and the image of you in his battered brain and been the only thing keeping him alive on he frontline. Whenever he felt like he was drowning, it had always been you that had pulled him from underwater, your smile putting the air back into his lungs. You made him feel alive, made him feel like in the world of smoke and debris he could breathe, that even on his lowest and darkest days, it was you that kept him going, but even he knew that was a lot for a person to carry.

You were wilting like a flower and he despised it. You had always been so beautiful. You could light up a room just by entering it, could trap men and enamour women with nothing but a look, could take his breath away with just a smile, but you were fading away. He had felt the darkness radiating off him since he returned home from the war, and he had fought tooth and nail to stop it corrupting you, you were too perfect, too pure, to be dragged down with him. He thought that he had kept you untainted, thought that he had done what was best for you, but now he wasn’t so sure.

He watched you when you weren’t looking, his eyes always finding your features no matter where you were. Whenever he was nervous or unsure he would find you and his breath would steady and his heartbeat would calm as if you were a shot of rum on his tongue. Almost a year after he had returned home did he start seeing you clearly, he had been so wrapped up in love, in coming home, in becoming the best man he could be, that he had clouded over you like fog on a winter morning. The glisten in your eyes had faded, they had dulled like a worn penny, and your collarbones and ribs began to rise from under your flesh. He tried to think of the last time he had made you laugh, a proper belly laugh like when you were kids, and he came up empty. He knew what the reason was but he refused to accept it, refused to admit that their might be cracks in your perfect relationship, because losing you just might break him.

He tried to be better for you, but he was too far gone. He could feel you slipping away from his fingertips and there was nothing he could do. You had tried to change for him and in the process you had lost part of yourself, and the war had carved a hole between both of you. It was heartbreaking and nauseating, both of you loving each other too much, but ultimately becoming different people. He refused to let you go without a fight, he knew he was being selfish and possessive but he couldn’t just let you leave, you had both been hopelessly in love since the very first day that you had met, you were soulmates. He chain-smoked you like a cigarette, took in your body like it was holy, craved your touch like it was medicinal, you were his everything. You were the reminder of the good days, looking at you and he was transported back to his youth, chasing you under apple trees, kissing until your lips were full and swollen, laughing until your ribs grew rough. You couldn’t imagine life without him, and every evening you clung onto his body, inhaling his sweat and tobacco covered skin, tracing his tattoos like they were bible verses, a million words lingering between you both. You were clinging on for dear life, knuckles glowing white as you refused to release your grip, desperate for everything to work out.

On a Friday, he let you go.

Curled up beside him, you felt otherworldly. He allowed himself moments of weakness around you, to everyone else he was the devil incarnate, but he softened whenever he touched you. He wanted these final moments to last forever, his girl wrapped up in his arms, the only bright light in his world of darkness. Tears were welling in his eyes, something so unfamiliar to him that he had to catch his breath, clear his throat before he could speak.

“I’ve not been good to you.”

Your head rose, resting on his strong chest as you peered at him, noticing how he refused to look at you.

“If I was a better man, a stronger man, I would have let you go sooner.”

“Tommy…”

“I’ve been selfish, little one. Too fucking selfish, and I see that now.”

You sat up further, already knowing his next words, your heart racing like one of his prize mares in your chest. You cling onto him, knuckles tensed as you feel him under you, willing him to look at you, but he can’t. He knows that if he sees your beautiful face, watches the tears slip down your cheeks and your lip quiver, he’ll crumble. That’ll be it, he’ll have broken, sweep you under him and try to piece you back together, but he knows this time he can’t.

You trace your fingertips over the hairs on his chest, the rhythmic motion helping to calm your rapid breathing. You feel like you’re in the firing line, on your knees, head bowed, just waiting for the final shot to blow your skull into pieces.

“I’ve never loved somebody the way I’ve loved you.” He coughs, rubbing his nose, and you’re not sure if its because it’s the tobacco in his lungs or the lump in his throat. “And know I’m realising that, what I’ve put you through, was wrong.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Tom, none of it. I’d do it all again if I could. In a heartbeat.” He knows you’re telling the truth, the honestly in your tone making his heart swell, but it doesn't make it any easier. He knows what he has to do, he has to be the bigger man, no matter how much it’ll wreck him, he has to do the best thing for you.

“I know you would, but that’s not the life you deserve.”

Silence falls across the room. Both of you bathed in smoke and ash and moonlight, memories flutter around you like torn photographs, drifting down onto the wood floor like snowflakes. The air is thick with tears that you both refuse to let slip, you had both known this time was coming since long before either had you had spoken the words. This was love. It tore you and ripped you in half, and neither of you had gone down without a fight. You loved one another so much that it had consumed you, swallowed you both whole and you wouldn’t change a thing. Despite the pain, it had been the best years of your life.

“I don’t think I know how to exist without you.” You confess, your lover such a part of you that it feels like you’re going to lose a limb, a terrible hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“You will. You know I wouldn’t let you go if it wasn’t safe for you, you know I wouldn’t…I’ve got some money for you, to find a place to stay, somewhere far away from here, OK?”

“I’m not taking your money, Tom.”

“Yes you are.You’re not leaving unless I know you’ll be alright, eh?”

“No I’m not T, seriously -”

“Always so bloody stubborn!” He laughed, pinching your outer thigh playfully, a gesture so innocent and intimate and awfully familiar that it makes you both deflate with sadness.

You refuse to let the silence engulf you. Refuse to accept that this might be the last time either of you smell one another’s skin, the last time you can take comfort in one another, refuse to accept that forever might not mean what you thought. Refuse to accept that saying goodbye felt like the right thing.

“Tom. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll rule the world one day. But promise me something, promise me you won’t lose yourself? Promise me that you won’t do anything that you can’t come back from. For me?”

He nods, burying his face in your hair.

His exasperated laugh sounds like sparkling champagne, “I almost drove myself mad thinking of what I was gonna say to you, but I couldn’t find the right words. After everything we’ve been through though, we don’t need words do we, little one? I love you and you love me, that’s more than enough. No matter what happens, it’ll be us forever. Even if we’re apart. We don’t need words to say what we mean.”

Your lips met his, making him come alive just as you had done under the canal all those years ago.

“So let’s not talk.”

Tommy wished forever that he could burn the image of that final night behind his eyelids, see you whenever he closed his eyes. He dreamt that he tatted you on his skin, could trace your figure whenever things got too rough, that you would pull him back to shore. That final night felt like a dream, you both cried, sank into one another’s bodies, muffled one another tears with open mouthed kisses. Your beautiful gangster falling apart only for you, his darling angel clinging to just him in those final hours. Your bodies had intertwined for the last time, exhilarated with lust but exhausted from sadness, communicating through touches and kisses.

Tommy slept the best he had done for years. No dreams of shovels, no thoughts of the business racing through his skull. Instead he let himself get utterly wrapped up by you,falling into a satisfied sleep with his girl next to him. Woozy and delirious, when he first opened his eyes he forgot about everything that had happened, felt that unfamiliar emptiness in the bed beside him and thought that he’d find you nestled in an armchair drinking sweet tea, but nausea filled the pit of his stomach like acid when memories came flooding back.

It wasn’t until he saw the envelope he had filled with notes and coins for you, unopened on the desk, and your treasured photograph of the two of you from that very first beach visit, left on top, painted with a cherry red lipstick print and the words, “Goodbye, Tom. I love you.” Did he lose it. He flung the peaked cap off its hanger, let out an animalistic roar and shattered his fist through the wall, before falling to his knees and burying his head into his hands.

———————————————————————————————-

He had heard that you came back. Similar to a alley cat, you snuck in and out of the city under the cover of moonlight, only being seen by those you wanted. He had heard that when Ada fell pregnant, and she stayed locked away in Freddie’s basement flat, you were the only person she let in. Sometimes he would loiter on those back streets after work, hoping and dreaming for a glimpse of you, something to satisfy his hungry mind, but he never got so lucky. You kept in contact with the others, sending them letters and postcards, but they kept them hidden from him, and he pretended he didn't fantasise about ripping them open and devouring your words. Polly and Ada would speak of you sometimes, but would fall silent whenever he was nearby, and he would pretend he was unbothered, despite the want of knowing where you were clawing him inside out.

He threw himself into work harder than he had ever done before. He could feel himself slipping away, and without you to ground him he felt the darkness start to consume him, but he would never blame you, you were too good, and he would have ruined you. He dreamt of you every night, thought of you in every spare moment, so it was easier to be doused in another’s blood or making a dangerous deal than to be left alone to his own devices. Wondering if you had met someone new made him feel violently ill, it was like torture thinking of another man making you happy, another man touching you, making you smile. Almost every night he paid a visit to a whore house, fucking somebody else and dreaming it was you, he knew it was unhealthy, but he couldn’t stop. You lingered in his brain constantly like the smoke that left his sullen lips.

He became used the the thought of being alone. Enamoured with the idea of being on top; controlling and dominating the streets was all he cared about. You were always at the back of his mind, wherever he looked he saw you, thought of you, it drove him crazy, but then again you always had. He was in desperate need for a distraction, some form of happiness to grasp after you had left, he knew he had to move on, but he was uncertain he would ever find it again. He had to get used to the nauseating fact that you were gone, and then, like a ball of sunshine, the new blonde barmaid smiled at him and he felt his world lighten.

But now you were back.

————————————————————

He can’t remember walking towards you.

His feet and brain were disconnected, he had become an entirely different person than the calm, collected business man he usually was, his composure crumbling the moment he saw you. The second he saw a falter in your conversation, when you excused yourself from the enamoured, sleazy men around you, practically drooling as you stood before them, did he know he had to say something to you or risk regretting it for the rest of his life.

He apologised quickly to Grace, half heartedly and rushed, something he knew he’d have to explain later, but he couldn’t stop himself. He also didn’t miss the curl of Polly’s lip at the sight of her nephew infatuated with you, reminding her of the teenager she missed dearly.

Every move of his was calculated. From business to his personal life, he refused to let himself be ruled the same as the common man, everything he did was deliberate and precise, but even he’ll admit he was tongue tied as he pushed past the rest of the people in the ballroom, eager to reach his target.

You had stepped outside. Desperate for the relief of cool air against your flesh, the comfort of the stars above you and the solace of a must needed cigarette between your lips. Tommy couldn’t help the smile on his face, 5 years of separation pouring out of him as he exhaled at the sight of you, so close that he could reach out and graze your skin with his fingers. It was intoxicating, you were intoxicating, and he hated himself for still being enchanted with a woman he couldn’t have and shouldn’t want.

Movement behind you made you turn your head, dazed and hazy from the alcohol and the smoke filling your lungs, but you felt stone cold sober as your muddled mind placed the man before you. Air left your body like a pinched ballon, your chest expanding with surprise.

He’ll admit seeing you so flustered at the sight of him did wonders for his ego. Igniting the flame inside of his stomach that proved that you still thought of him, still cared for him. But just as quickly as you lost your cool, you regained it instantly, straightening up and letting a soft smile grace your features, and he felt himself melt.

You looked so familiar, yet different.

You were more tanned, freckles across the bridge of your nose, constellations he could remember tracing when he was a teen. Your hair was longer, tousled into a style he had never seen on you, but it looked right.

He could tell your dress was expensive, embroidered and embezzled with lace and crystals, a finely crafted necklace sliding off of your collar bone, and thoughts of gifts from admiring suitors sent him into a tailspin. He loathed himself for it, but his eyes narrowed to your left ring finger, audibly exhaling when it came up empty, and he didn’t know if he should feel relieved or ashamed.

A moment of silence and shared memories flashed between you quicker than the spark of a match. A warm familiar feeling brewed in the pit of your stomach, so gut wrenchingly nostalgic you feel as if you have been winded. Both of your senses are heightened, you can smell him, imagine the feel of his hair, despite it being almost shaved to his scalp, imagine the tattoos under his expensive suit, can practically recall your nails tracing them in a sleep induced haze. You had forgotten just how he made you feel, and the recognition makes you both halt.

He breaks the silence first; as if to prove to you his new status. He was no longer as boyish, as playful, he controlled the room, owned it, and the devil sitting on his shoulder wondered if that extended to you.

“Hello, (Y/N).”

“Hello, Tommy.”

He almost falls to pieces at the sound of his name on your sugar sweet lips, reminding him of the times before the war, the times he had locked away in his mind. You’ve turned a strong man weak, rendered him speechless and you grab the control as it slips from his fingertips.

“It’s been a long time, Tom.”

“That it has.”

“You’ve been away for quite some time.” He inhales sharply, determined to clasp the reins once again, determined to dismantle you and get a reaction, “Didn’t even see you at Freddie’s funeral, would have been nice of you to show up.”

The funeral was years ago but he still hates the fact that he hadn’t seen you that day, he was burying one of his best friends and yet you had clawed all over his mind like a virus. He even stayed after everyone had left, saying private words to his friend, and wondering if he could catch a glimpse of you, but that evening he walked home as alone as he came.

You raise a brow in challenge, your eyes glinting with a mix of disbelief and humour. “I stayed with our Ada for over a month when Freddie died, I was by her side through the thick of it. I didn’t come to the funeral out of respect, I didn’t want it to be about anything other than him.”

He swallows your words, nodding slowly. Letting the silence settle around him like smoke before he asks you his next question. “Where did you go?”

A small smile fell on your lips, and you looked up at him in a way that almost made him turn his head as it was too familiar, too painful.

“Anywhere and everywhere. Paris, Rome, Berlin. It was nice to see them rebuild after the war. I stayed in America for a year or so, Boston and New York, and then settled on the beach in California for a bit, it was beautiful.” He listens to every word that escapes your mouth, noting how happy you sound as you describe your travels, so breathless and elated as you reminisce.

“You did always love the sea.” He says gently.

“Yes,” you smile, “I do.”

“What brings you back? To a party like this?” He changes the subject, not wanting to linger in the past, fearful of what that might bring up in him.

“I’ve been in London with a friend, I owe him a favour and ended up here.”

Him. Three words that strike him in the gut and nearly make him double over. He can feel the heat rising in him, he’s married and it’s been years since he’s seen you, but the thought of you with another man makes vomit and red hot anger ascend inside of him.

“He’s just a friend, Tom.” You say slowly, offering him an olive branch, you shouldn’t have to explain yourself but you want to, because it’s just as hard for you. “He owns a distillery but he doesn’t do well at parties, so I offered to take his place.”

He laughs humourlessly, almost breathless from disbelief at the sheer incredulity of it all. “Solomons? Of fucking course.”

“You know of him?” You ask, tilting your head slightly.

“You could say that.”

“Well,” You grin, “Looks as if we have something in common.”

The knowledge that you were mere miles away, laughing with Solomon’s, head thrown back as you made time for a man that wasn’t him, drove the nail further into Tommy’s own coffin.

“So your dress? Your jewels? Presents from him?” It comes out harsher than he intended but he doesn’t care, the sight of you has made him as inebriated as a dozen shots of whisky on an empty stomach and he allows it to distort his words.

“I make my own money, Tommy.” You respond.

He steps closer, the toe of his expensive leather shoe inching towards you like a high tide.

“Do you ever think about me?” The words escape him before he has a chance to stop them, and he sees emotion pool in your eyes, and he watches a breath escape your lips.

“Everyday.”

He isn’t sure what to say, suddenly feeling 15 again, if anyone saw him now they would be in utter disbelief that he was the same ruthless gangster they knew. He is within reach now, you could extend your fingers and feel him under you like you had once done a million times before, you wonder just how different his lush suit would feel compared to the ones he had run around in when he was a teen. His eyes scour your face, drinking you in like water, comparing your face to the last time he had seen you. Neither of you let your eyes meet one another, darting away like rivals, and yours slip over his head back into the crowd.

“Is that your wife?”

His head snaps up as if he has been doused in ice water, and he follows your gaze across the floor. He sees Grace, surrounded by other women, but her eyes trained on the two of you. He knows later he’ll have a conversation he isn’t ready for, knows he’ll have to explain feelings he’s kept hidden for years, but he turns on his heel, away from his wife and towards you.

“Yes.”

“She’s beautiful.”

“She’s not you.”

Silence. He loathes himself for his words but hates himself even more that he doesn’t regret them.

“Good. You deserve someone better.”

Your eyes finally meet.

His are stoic and unwavering, lacking the spark you loved but still the same ocean eyes you loved to drown in. Yours are filled with emotion, finally exposing yourself after so many years, you soften him to the touch as your eyes meet his, melting him like an icicle.

“I know what you’re thinking, Tom.”

“You always have.”

You smile softly. “I almost came back you know.”

His ears prick up like a bloodhound, his heart bursting under his flesh.

“I heard rumours. People would whisper in the street about a devil, I knew exactly who they meant before they even spoke your name aloud.”

He inhales sharply, not knowing where the story will take him, desperate to regain control but ultimately knowing he’ll always be trailing after you.

“They said you were cunning and brilliant but they also said you were ruthless and cold blooded. They said you were a man on a mission, a man destined to get to the top, they told me they were scared of you. Terrified.”

He steps closer.

“I begged Ada to tell me everything, managed to get her drunk from expensive liquors, you know the ones she loves? The ones that taste like the sweets we would nick after school?”

He nods, the memory distant but familiar. The taste of sugar on your lips, teeth clashing together, giggles that sounded like bells.

“She told me the darkness came back, took you away. She said she was worried for you, she told me she didn’t want to lose her brother, not again. I was going to come back, but I was a coward.” Your voice falters, and he wants nothing more than to cradle you in his arms but he knows he can’t and instead watches the rise and fall of your chest. “I was worried that if I came back you would get worse, I’m not good for you Tom. You know that.”

“You’ve always been good for me.”

“You say that cause you love me,” You tease, “But we’re not kids anymore, Tommy.”

He looks at you, older now, taller. He can remember the colour of your hair from the sun, the grass that stained your knees, the way you felt under him. He can remember everything. If you aren’t good for each other, why is he still under your spell?

He can see the way your face contorts, passion evident on your features.“She told me you met a woman, fell in love and got married. I was mad with jealousy at first, like a bloody woman possessed.”

He hates the way your admission makes him feel smug.

“But Ada, she told me she was good for you. She told me how she makes the shovels stop Tom, she makes you a better man. I knew in that moment that you deserved her, and she deserved you. You deserve to be happy, because you’re a good man, Tom.”

You walk towards him, luring him to you like a ship to the shore. He responds immediately, so close that he can feel the warmth of your body, smell the wildflowers that linger on your neck.

“I asked for a sign that night,” you say softly, “a sign that you would be alright.”

“A sign?” He asks almost playfully, just enough teasing in his tone to remind both of you that maybe he isn’t too far gone.

“Yes, a sign, and I got one.”

You tear your eyes from him, down to your diamond encrusted purse in your hands. You open the clasp, and rummage around, slipping out a piece of paper no bigger than your palm. You rest it against your fingertips before holding it out to him, and he slowly takes it, not missing the sparks he feels as your hands touch.

He turns it over, and let’s out a genuine laugh, one that shocks you both.

It’s a newspaper clipping, from one year ago, the black and white print almost seeming harsh under the light of the moon. He traces the picture with the pads of his fingers, smiling more this evening than he can ever remember.

He clears his throat and reads softly, “Tommy Shelby’s mare “Little One” comes first place at national derby.”

Your eyes connect once again, the corners of your mouth upturned. “Little One.” You repeat, “She was my sign.”

He nods, looking down at the picture of the thoroughbred he loved dearly. “She’s the most beautiful horse I’ve ever seen, but she’s stubborn as all hell, can be aggressive too.”

“She sounds lovely.”

“Oh, that she is.”

You tentatively place one hand onto his chest, as if you are taming a wild animal. He responds to your touch like he’s been craving it his entire life.

“I should go, Tom.”

He doesn’t know what to say, or do, something so rare for a man always one step ahead. All he can think of is to cling to you like a child, wanting to savour the moment for as long as he can.

“I don’t want to lose you, not again.” He admits, his tough facade shattering like glass.

“You let me go once before Tom, you can do it again.”

He holds you against his chest, not bothering to wonder who can see him in such a fragile state. A lifetime of memories flutters between you like pages of a book. Everything unwinding in your mind, tears pricking at the back of your eyes. You feel like a teenager again, can smell him beside you, feeling as if you are curled up back in his single bed, running your fingers through his hair.

“You’re going to go back to your wife, Tom. Your beautiful, kind wife. The wife who is good for you, and you’re going to go and be happy.”

He thinks of it all, the money and the mansion. The power, the gold and jewels and paintings that lather every wall in his house, he thinks of everything he has, and wonders how any of it compares to you.

You place one palm against the side of his cheek, pulling him into you and you shake your head as if you can read his mind. You plant a soft kiss against his skin, it scorches into him like a branding, like rubbing salt on a fresh wound. He exhales shakily, watching as you step away from him, forever beautiful and young and enchanting, slipping back into the teenager he chased around sunflower fields and danced with under the stars. Back then his hands were freckled and tanned, now they are covered in blood.

“Goodbye, Tommy.”

“Goodbye, Little One.”

He swears he only turns away for a second, to locate Grace, to try and think of any explanation for his erratic behaviour this evening, to not let you see the emotion flooding over his face like a tsunami, and when he turns back around, maybe to stop you, or maybe to get one final look before you go, you’re already gone.

#peaky blinders imagine #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby oneshot #peaky blinders oneshot #thomas shelby imagine #writing

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goth-girlfriend · 5 years ago

Note

Heyy could I get a matchup please? I’m a pansexual non binary person excepting and loving to all, I have short black hair and I am 5’1. Tbh I’m more interested in the 1A boys but I do love all the pro hero’s and the villains too. I can be shy at first but once you get to know me I can be very chaotic and alt. I’m very open minded and understanding no matter what your situation is and I am very patient, I rarely get angry. I also do a lot of art from pairing to potter and photography, I love to try new things. I also love your work so much and I hope your doing well 💕

Thank you! 🥰 It means a lot! I hope your doing week in this time ☺️💙 sorry it took over a month 😅 but! I’ll make it up to you! And! The other four waiting....and the few in my inbox! Well! I hope you like it!

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✨Denki✨

Kaminari, you wouldn’t think five inches is enough for him to look down and bully you about your height. But...honestly? You couldn’t be mad at it considering it’s what made your friendship with the blonde bloom.

Then again, when you first met him you were kind of a wreck and didn’t have the guts to tell him, “I’m not an arm rest stop leaning on my shoulder.” Instead you let it be, fidgeting fingers and looking ahead until her smiled brightly at you, “SHORT FRIENDS ARE GREAT!” he looked down at you eyes closed, “I should keep you around more.”

Well, after that you were adopted by, THE BAKUSQUAD! Bakugo not really caring, but when Kirishima and Denki followed him around he always made sure to grab you and drag you with them, because “I WAS SCARED AND PANICKED! I DIDN’T WANNA BE ALONE!”

So, for the first and second week he treated you like a quiet kid, mostly starting conversation until you got into a comfortable groove, and he almost died seeing how you really turned out. YOU started to bully him, when he entered his short circuit, the jokes you made, but still, you took care of him making sure he didn’t get into trouble or hurt. At times you’d become a bit impulsive and your chaotic side came out.

“MOVE! IM GONNA DO IT!” You screamed “Y/n! NO! I LIKE YOU BETTER ALIVE!” He screamed. Silence, you moved your head, trying to pull back, but no luck, your eyes moved in panic looking at Denki, his own eyes wide before he started laughing. You tried to move your head regretting it instantly. Your right hand came up, forefinger and thumb pulling at your tongue that was now stuck to the pole you had made victim to your weird antics. “mm thuck.”

you have great goofy moments together, but the moment he hears Bakugo screaming and silence, and then he hears you screaming? Hah, no. All relations are canceled/expired/rejected/blocked/denied/gone. He likes being alive, and right now, you were a threat to his life, so “Oh, uh yeah I got a thing to do in the other ro-“ RUN

he’s more than great full to have you around, your patient with him when he just can’t do something but he’s determined to. Like the month he dragged you of the dorms every night, because “IM GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS HAUNTED HOUSE WITHOUT SCREAMING.” The haunted house opened the first of October, and ended on Halloween, it was terrible, at one point he passed out, another frothed at the mouth, his screams were priceless, he clung to you more than a few times crying about being scared. Decked a few jump scare people, and at least twice went into Pikachu self defense mode and electrocuted the groups of workers around the two of you at least twice. Honestly, you were surprised they let you both keep coming back. But the last day, he managed to only let out squeaks and squeeze your arm and hands but he did it. Thirty one long nights of walking the same halls, jump scares, and voids, mesmerizing the right way of the maze, you mad wit out fine, he was only slightly shook.

Art? Denki doesn’t get it, claimed he can’t draw to save his life and when you watched him try you believed him, BUT THE COMPLETE AND UTTER SHOCK WHEN YOU FOUND OUT HE WAS BASICALLY AN ART MAJOR WHEN HE SHORT CIRCUITED..... you started saving his drawings and sketches, and then you’d show him and he’d be impressed, but completely denies that he ever did it. “Nope, you got the wrong guy, you’ve seen me, I can’t draw a circle.” But he loves to watch you paint, and take photos, but don’t take him to wildlife sets with you. He will get hired of waiting for birds and throw himself on the grass and start sighing loudly and rolling around, “Nothings coming y/n!” “MAYBE IF YOU SHUT UP THE BIRDS WOULDNT FLY AWAY LIKE ITS THE END OF THE WORLD!” Silence, you can definitely feel him staring you, “Well that’s just rude.... you scared off the only bird that was actually here.” Pottery? He watched you, and he wanted to try, the first time he ended up slinging clay everywhere, second he can’t keep his hands still enough, the third time you took pity and ended up like the cheesiest movie scene, but, you were behind him guiding his hands, he became a flustered mess and crushed the almost pot when you spoke to him and he felt your breath on his shoulder. He was blushing and flustered and then started apologizing for ruining the pot... in the end you both together did make a lopsided pot, it now sits in your room, home to your shared black prince succulent. When you brought it home he made anyone who would listen come see his first pot and new child.

⚡️✨✨⚡️⚡️✨⚡️⚡️⚡️✨⚡️⚡️✨✨⚡️

“Y/n?” You heard knocking and groaned getting up off your bed to open your door.

“I brought someone else to meet prince...” the look you gave him was one of ‘Are you sERIOUS?’

You closed your door a bit to look at the digital clock that was hanging just above your desk, 1:37 in the morning...

“It couldn’t wait till sun up?” You asked eyes kinda squinty as the hall light started to flood into your room now that you opened the door wider to let whoever in.

“It’s important everyone knows my new son!” He stepped in and you moved and plopped onto your desk chair.

“Alright, but be careful, you bruised one of his petals last time.” You stretched and looked at your abandoned school work, you looked at it reading the question you had struggled on, and by some miracle, being half groggy and half awake, you read it and the answer came to you. You started to write it down before you forgot. And you were so proud of yourself, until you heard the feminine voice.

“Kaminari, you’re an idiot.” And then a slightly muffled laugh.

You didn’t have a problem with Jiro, in fact you liked her as a friend, she was nice, had good taste in music, bullied Denki with you sometimes, friendly and you’ve never seen her angry or get snobbish with anyone. She was laid back and cool.

But, one thing you didn’t like, was the fact she was slowly becoming the center of Denki’s flirting. Jealous? Nahh....well....no.... maybe a little? Nope, nah that’s not it.......okay yeah.

“Y/n Chan! Jiro is bullying me.” He came and shook you by your shoulders pulling you from staring at your school work.

You turned your head to look up at him. “What?” You asked.

“She called me an idiot.” He pouted and closed his eyes.

You laughed and dropped a hand onto his head, after he kneeled to plead you defend him, “Oh Denki, if you want me to disagree it’s gonna be a long night.”

He pouted at your words but sighed in defeat, until the next words came, “So (y/n), if Denki’s son is in your room does that make you the mother of his son?”

You looked at Jiro a faint blush tinting your cheeks as you registered what she said. You gave a few quiet laughs but before you could say anything Denki became a stuttering flustered mess. Catching both of you and pulling you both out of the conversation that almost started.

“Well! (Y/n)! Well go! A Princess does need her beauty sleep!” He winked at you as he left in a hurry, Jiro just quirked a brow before she told you good night and you returned it as she left. You yawned and got back into bed, before your phone buzzed and you cursed, but the blush on your cheeks wirsned at the flirty text you’d gotten from Denki, you’d think you’d gotten used to it already, but maybe the feelings you thought you’d pushed away never really left the surface.

‘Good night princess 😉 Don’t forget to dream about me 💛’

Cringe yes, but that’s literally the best flirting line he has. Apparently getting comfortable with Denki meant he was comfortable flirting with you 24/7, no hesitation. And you enjoyed the attention and flirted back with him, but things kinda changed when Jiro started to give him attention too.

******

“Mornin’ babe,” you yawned at Denki’s greeting and gave a wave and small smile as you walked to a table and plopped down. You didn’t get much sleep, you finished your homework so now you had the weekend free, but what were you going to do? You stared at the empty table in front of you thinking about nothing, head empty, until Mina came and sat across from you, “So babe huh? Is it official!” She whisper screamed.

“Pfft, just about as official as me being All Might.” You had a small smile, small but genuine. “Boooooooo.” She pouted, “I have my own theories but I really want to tell you this one, soooo! Bakusquad girls day! But... just you and I. Get ready let’s go!”

So, after deciding you’d buy something to eat instead of cooking you got ready and then both you and Mina set off to talk theories and what’s really going on in her head. “So, I think he wants something serious but since you guys joke so much I think he thinks he’s in the friend zone and don’t even deny it I know you like him, I’ve seen the way you smile at all his stupid jokes even I don’t laugh at all of them and I try to be nice. Plus the way you loook a Jiro is enough to show your jealous but he doesn’t see that, I’m pretty sure he thinks you just don’t like her humor or something, but from what I’ve seen your good friends with her when Denki isn’t around so that lets me believe your jealous of his attention going to someone else. Soooo, what do you say? What do you think? And I think he’s trying with Jiro because you guys kinda have similar personalities and hair cuts? Well not really but you know? When your in love you call broccoli Midoriya and a grenade Bakugo but that’s a different story, so? What do you think?” You just stared at her, the takoyaki had with your toothpick just to far from your lips as you wondered if she was right. A shot smile pulled at your lips as you looked down and closed your eyes to let out a sigh, “Well, I won’t say your wrong, I’ve done lot of things but being in denial has never been one of them. I’m not going to confess or anything but I do have one question.” You looked at Mina through the corner of your eyes while your face was still pointed to the ground. “Yes!” She cheered and nodded looking at you with a big smile, “If this is about a plan I’ve got it all figured out so don’t worry!”

You shook your head and faced her completely, “Nope! Keep the plan well use it later but, if I do something about this Denki thing you have to so something about tape boy.” Mina became flustered at your words but nodded, “well, your first lady she smacked you back causing you to slightly choke on the Takoyaki you’d finally started to eat, after catching your breath and wondering around for a bit you both talked it out and it’s go time.

****

The next morning you started the plan (titled by Mina) “Seducing Pikachu” Taking a deep breath you readied yourself to take your flirting next level, he called you babe you had to call him daddy, he gave you a hug you pulled his face down to peck his cheek, he draped an arm over your shoulders you had snuggle closer and hug his waist, he tried to tease you by taking your hand you can’t pull away, in stead you interlock fingers and squeeze, if he leaned into your ear to whisper something you can’t push him away. And we’re you ready? No, in fact you felt queasy, and like you had to bathroom, but with a shove from Mina you entered the kitchen and like usual “Good morning babe!” And the usual flirty wink, but this time instead of getting flustered or yawing you locked eye contact and with everything you had, “Mornin Daddy.” You smiled at him and walked to the fridge to try and occupy yourself. In the background you heard Mineta screaming about the name daddy. You looked at Denki with the same smile after grabbing a juice and he was flustered, red cheeks and it looked like his hair had fluffed up a bit. It’s working! You waved at him and walked to the common room and sat down on one edge and looked at the tv, it was playing some show about volleyball. Jiro came and sat across from you on the other sofa joining you and a few others in watching this show, right now, the only empty seats are the spot next to you on the love seat, or the two seats beside Jiro. He sat by you and was strangely quiet, oh gave him a smile when he turned to look a you, he smiled and looked at the tv, after an hour or two your hands began fiddling with the juice in your lap and you felt a tug at your hand, you felt Denki place his hand on yours usually you’d pull away and punch his shoulder, but this time. You didn’t take your eyes of the tv when your intertwined your fingers and squeezed his hand. You brought your other hand and squeezed his hand between both of yours and snuggled closer to his side and laid your head against his shoulder, he tensed a bit then relaxed quickly. He laid his head on yours and you eyed Mina real quick, you gave you a thumbs up and you motioned to Sero with your eyes and she stopped and pouted. After another hour you started to get up and pull away from Denki. You felt a hand pull at yours and you looked at Denki, “Where are you going?” You titled your head, “Gonna go buy lunch maybe.” He looked up at you still holding your hand, “Don’t leave me.” He said, “Come with me then.” You gave his arm a tug and without second thought he jumped up outside you were cool, but inside, you were going ballistic, inside you were nothing like usual, you were honestly so surprised that this plan was working, with your attention he didn’t even pay attention to Jiro,,,, were you really jealous?

Getting to a ramen place you both sat down and filled our sheets with your orders, casually sitting in silence your phone dinged, “So.... did he confess? Or do women really have to do all the work, 🙄, Sero didn’t understand what I meant until I- never mind, how’s it going?”

You smiled at the message and shook your head.

Denki being curious why you were smiling tried to peek, “Mina is trying to confess to Sero and she says he’s an idiot.” You smiled and turned to Denki explaining before he could see.

“Yeah, I didn’t wanna say anything sometimes Sero isn’t the smartest.”

You felt a smile pulling at your lips, “Yeah, I know someone else who is just the same.” You propped your elbows on the table and placed your chin on your palms. He did the same and pushed his cheeks so they looked chubby against his palms.

“Kaminari,” you called his name in a chirpy tune with a smile, he closed his eyes and smiled before he said your name in the same way.

****

“How good are you at noticing small things?” I asked and tilted my head. “Hmmm, did you grow out your hair?” His head tilted, and he smiled.

“No? It’s been this short for a while.” I dropped my arms flat against the table palms up, “try again.”

“Yooouuuu,,,, are wearing contacts?” He asked. “I’m not blind.”

“Yoouuuuu.....are trying a different Boba?” “No... well yes, but not what I’m talking about......try one more time and I’ll give you a hint if you can’t guess.”

He nodded and squinted at me looking like he was concentrating hard.

“I know!” He took my hands in his and squeezed them, I felt my heart start to race, “You’re fingers are cold, the tips are turning reddish.”

I smiled and looked away and licked my top lip trying to not laugh, “That wasn’t it but a good guess.”

“Then what is it?” He asked pouting.

“Close your eyes.” I said and waved a hand, he nodded and then closed them, I placed my finger tips on the left side of his jaw and tried to pull him closer, after getting him halfway across the table I leaned forward and lightly pressed my lips against his cheek.

I pulled away, and moved my hand away from his jaw.

“I...so think you should try again, I didn’t get the hint.” He looked away with a bush slowly becoming prominent on his cheek.

I smiled and shook my head, silence fell over us as I shifted around, “Another hint huh?”

“Maybe just one... or two... or a few....” he still didn’t look at me hands now fiddling together.

“You know, for a flirt you sure do get nervous when someone actually makes a move on you.”

“Heh, yeah.” He was smiling but not looking at me, “Sooo, when?”

“Do you remember the day, you got sick and made me baby you for a whole week? It was that Thursday, you feel asleep on my chest, and I held you and had to pull the blanket off, I realized then, how much I cared about you, and how much I’m willing to do to make sure you’re okay. I realized how much I love your terrible jokes and cheesy pick up lines, your warm hugs and the face times late into the night, and the movie nights passing out at three in the morning and rushing to class when we woke up late. Holing your hand when you were scared, and bullying Bakugo, honestly, I wouldn’t wanna die at the hands of Bakugo with anyone else. I’m not saying I love you or anything, but if this is what falling for someone feels like...I don’t not like it, especially when it’s you.” I looked out the window we sat by and could feel his stare, I looked at him through the corner of my eye.

“I wouldn’t want to be murdered with anyone else.” He held his hand out and I tilted my head to look at him, I took placed my hand on his and he smiled, before he shifted his fingers and closed them around mine. I smiled and closed my fingers squeezing his hand.

“So? Are you going to ask?” He said.

I felt my brows furrow, “Ask?”

“Ask me to be your boyfriend.” His smile widened.

“You’re supposed to ask me!” I scolded and shook our hands.

He tucked his head between his shoulders, “okay okay, fine.... now you’re going to wait because you yelled at me.”

***

“Y/n!” I turned to look for the person who called my name, “yeah?” I asked and pulled my blanket tighter, the Christmas season was here and I was freezing on the sofa.

“Come look! The snows falling again! And the it’s pretty on the blossoms that are still around.”

“Fine.” I grumbled and stood up, I walked to the second floor windows and looked out. Sero, Denki, Kirishima and Bakugo were all outside, I could hear Katsuki screaming at them while the ran around dropping things on the floor.

They all stopped and moved away as Bakugo screamed at them and took off his gloves, it looked like he was grumbling something until Denki slung an arm I’ve this shoulders, Bakugo brought up his hand causing sparks and Denki to smile nervously before patting his shoulder and moving his arm off.

Mina tapped on the window and they looked at us, we waved when three of the four waved. Denki turned to Bakugo and with a simple blast a chain reaction started and lit up a circle, inside the circle were the words made in very sparse but still pretty blossoms, “will u be mine?” Your phone began to ring and you answered it.

“So, after two months of non official dating, will you be mine?”

You smiled, “Yes, Kaminari, yes.” You swallowed and over the phone you heard cheering and watched to em high five minus Bakugo who was pulling his gloves back on. That night, you spent under the blue keys you two piled high, his head on your chest, and you kissed his head running your fingers through his hair, “I love listening to your heart, it’s pretty, like you.” Your take his face in your hands and kiss his lips or forehead, and eventually would change spots, still cuddling to keep the warmth and love between you while the rest of the world was slipping into sleep or madness.

✨🤍🖤🤍🤍💙🤍🤍🖤🤍✨

I hope you have a good day, and remember to stay hydrated 💙

#buko no hero academia #my hero academia #mha denki kaminari #mha denki #bnha denki kaminari #bnha denki #bnha matchup #mha matchup #bnha ask blog #mha ask blog #bnha ask #mha ask #bnha blog #mha blog #bnha #mha #bnha kaminari #mha kaminari

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honeydots · 5 years ago

Note

"61. “Were you drawing me?”" for the ask meme? 👀

“Were you drawing me?”

akira sleeps in and yusuke takes advantage of that. because of COURSE if im given the opportunity to write shukita im going to take it of course i am

(ao3 link)

Slugs were okay.

Akira didn’t have much of an opinion on them, to be honest. Nothing negative. They were a little goopy, sure. But that wasn’t a bad thing. Sometimes you’re goopy and squishy and occasionally poisonous, it happens to everybody. Akira was sure he’d had a Saturday just like that. They were just little creatures. Slugging along.

…That said, he didn’t like them much when they were on his face. He especially wouldn’t like them if they were the poisonous kind. He didn’t think these ones were, but still. That would be completely unpleasant. And then he’d be goopy until he died. Just terrible all around.

But not these bad boys. Akira was sure they were just your everyday slug. Lucky for him! But they were still on his face. He didn’t really want that. Slug along anywhere else, please. He was trying to relax. This wasn’t the time.

In his limited periods of consciousness, Akira often thought about how weird it was that he never realized when he was dreaming. Once he was in the dream, he was there. No second thoughts about it. The slugs were on his face now, and that’s where they belonged. But pointedly, again, they were not poisonous. Nice to know his subconscious wasn’t going for a gastropod themed execution.

He woke up blissfully slug-free. Thank god. What a morning surprise that would’ve been. He also woke up alone, which wasn’t too unusual. Yusuke tended to be an early riser. Up and about, doing his creative stuff. He had picked up sculpting, recently. So far, he’d made a lovely bust of Isaac Newton (and if not him, it was a not-as-lovely bust of Haru), and a pistachio (this one really was a pistachio). Akira was happy he was expanding his repertoire, since he seemed to be enjoying himself. He was keeping busy, and he had a career after all.

But the bed was meant for two.

He shifted a bit, peeked his eyes open and, oh. He was surprised to see Yusuke sitting not far across from him. He was staring deeply into his sketchbook, very focused and very quiet.

You know, he could always draw in bed. It’d be warmer that way. “Good morning.” Akira lazily stretched out his back. “Sketching?”

Akira probably shocked him, because Yusuke jumped. He usually felt just a little bit bad when he did that, but today there was something mischievous dancing around in his brain. A tiny goblin who had wanted so desperately to cuddle, probably.

You and me both, Goblin-kun.

Yusuke looked up to him, and he seemed a little stoic. “You’ve awakened. Good afternoon. Please do not move.”

Technical technical. Akira treated afternoons like mornings, anyway. He relaxed his body back down, trying to look as natural as possible. “Were you drawing me?” It wouldn’t surprise him. It’d hardly be the first time. Yusuke liked to make him blush by calling him things like his Muse, or his Starry Night, or his Lobster Fra Diavolo.

“Ah… I suppose,” said Yusuke. He swiveled a turn in his chair, and swept up a dab of paint with a brush. “Now, close your eyes again.”

Akira did. So he was painting him. Again with Yusuke’s technicalities, his this’s and that’s. It was endearing. There was something very sweet about his specifics, since Akira knew he was included in them.

He wondered if he could go back to sleep. If Yusuke wanted him to keep his eyes closed, the chances went up. He could already feel himself falling into it. Anyone who knew Akira was well aware that he wasn’t one to pass up opportunities to sleep in. Well, sleep in more than he already had. Yusuke knew better than to let him stay in bed, Akira couldn’t be blamed. And it was for art after all.

But the afternoon did have plans for Akira. Goddamn. For example, something cold and wet being splattered onto his forehead. It was… weirdly familiar?

He jumped, but in like, a groggy half-awake confused boy way. “Ghh?” His eyes flickered open. Yusuke was there? He hadn’t heard him come over. “What are you…doing.”

Yusuke remained focused as ever, eyes glued to, uh. Uh? “Akira, please. I do not want it in your eyes.” The wet spot moved and spread across his brow.

The dots were sleepy and the lines were wiggling, but all connecting nonetheless. “Are you painting,” Akira said, flinching at the sloppy feeling, “on my face?”

Yusuke lifted his paintbrush and looked very thoughtfully at the smear he’d created. “Do not speak much. I would hate for what has dried to crack.” He turned away, probably to get more paint.

Akira squinted at him. It was already drying? As in drying drying? “How long have you been… at this.”

Yusuke sighed, and shook his head. “Please, my love, if you must talk,” he said, turning back, “Try to be minimal. I will be finished soon.”

He returned to Akira’s side, this time with a pool of paint on the back of his hand, probably for quick access. Akira stared silently at him. He wasn’t mad at all, more completely amused. Unique way to spend a morning. He’d woken up before with drawings on his face, but that was usually Futaba scribbling squiggles and mustaches with her sharpies. Oh, but he’d always get back at her for that. He’d refuse to wash it off and make her be seen with him, Mr. Sharpie Face Man, in the all forbidden public. She was one of those second-hand embarrassment people.

Wow, the paint felt weird. He was all too aware of it sitting on his face. It was thick. And the actual spreading of it had been really strange. There were out of body experiences, and then there were all too aware of what is happening right now on your body experiences. Akira was the former. He was pretty surprised it hadn’t woken him up, actually.

Wait.

The slugs.

The non-poisonous slugs.

That made sense.

Yusuke continued painting. Little swirls and pointed dots. Akira tried to guess what he was doing. The paint he had was blue, so maybe a bird? A fish? He was sure Yusuke would do something more outlandish, though. Maybe a bird with glasses. He wondered if Yusuke would let him name it.

Inevitably, they made eye contact. Akira had been staring pretty relentlessly, and boy he was good at that. Yusuke held it for a moment, before something visibly clicked. There it was. Akira had been thinking about if he’d remember to answer. He didn’t, always. Yusuke had quite the way with concentration. He’d just about have to shake him out to come to dinner some nights.

Yusuke had run out of paint on his hand, and he turned back to get more. A short silence hung. “A few hours,” he said.

So, a while. His projects usually took a bit, so he was glad to hear this hadn’t been some all nighter. That could’ve been nice too, though, because then Yusuke would certainly take a nap. And of course then Akira would get to take a nap. Which would be great. But he’d have to wash all this paint off first. He hoped it would come off easy.

It wasn’t like Yusuke had never painted on his body before. But that was usually, you know, doodling with a pen on his arm. Or some grand experiment on his back. Face painting wasn’t technically something to be considered out of the ordinary, but unconscious face painting was. Yusuke’s inspiration strikes were always charming.

Akira watched as Yusuke readied his brush again. He felt him very gently move some hair out of his face. This wasn’t really a view Akira usually got. Hello there. Thank goodness he was nearsighted.

But, all good things must come to an end. Yusuke looked down at him. “It really is imperative you shut your eyes, now. This would sting.”

He probably spoke from experience. He already knew Yusuke had drunk paint water before. It was an accident, he said, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t also accidentally get paint in his eyes. Akira also doubted that the paint water incident was entirely accidental. He had evidence. But, despite all that, he heeded his advice. Yusuke was kind enough to wait until he did so. Akira wondered how long it would take for Yusuke to just start painting, anyway.

He felt the brush fit into his eye socket and curve around down, above his cheek bone. Very confident but delicate strokes across his eyelid, and then repeated on the other side. He decided this was much better than slugs. Though still just as goopy.

The brush lifted, and did not come back down. “There,” Yusuke began, “Now, please remain very still. I will return in just a moment.”

Akira obliged, keeping his eyes shut tight but careful not to scrunch. He heard footsteps, and a door opening. Yusuke was probably getting their camera. They’d bought a very nice once for situations like this. Non-portable art, or anything that would wash away. Akira supposed he wouldn’t mind being on display for an art show. Ehh, that was, as long as it didn’t last too long. He didn’t really get fidgety, but he did get bored.

He heard Yusuke come back, accompanied by some clicking and clunking. He probably also brought in a light, since he tended to be very particular about his art pictures. Akira appreciated that his face-canvas was being given such fancy treatment. He hoped he was doing the art justice.

There was shuffling. The sound of curtains opening. The buzz of a lamp. And eventually, many, many clicks. Yusuke always took bunches of pictures, with light adjustments and in different positions. He’d learned how to use a camera very well, at this point. Akira was glad to see it, because initially Yusuke had been a little helpless with one.

He took pictures all the time now. It was much more convenient, since instead of pulling over and waiting thirty minutes for Yusuke to be satisfied with a sketch, they’d pull over and spend just ten minutes taking pictures. They still had to leave an hour early for events, but they were late less often. They were also a little poorer, because memory cards didn’t come cheap. Yusuke’s new cocaine, he guessed.

The clicking went off and on. Akira sat through it, beginning to drift back to sleep again. When Yusuke had said ‘afternoon’ that could’ve meant 12:01, right? Which meant it would be perfectly reasonable to sleep for a few more hours. Just a little catnap. He’d bet anything Morgana was still sleeping. And how was that fair?

He was thoroughly lost in cat-jealousy thoughts, and did not notice the clicking stop. So, the sound of Yusuke’s voice scared him right out of his drowsiness. “You can move about now. I’ve finished.” Gah.

So, no naps for him. Yet. But Akira guessed he was getting a little bit cramped anyway. He stretched out again, properly this time, and opened his eyes. He watched as Yusuke turned off the extra light, and carefully put the camera down.

Yusuke looked to Akira and smiled very sweetly. Akira smiled back, entirely sure he probably looked very silly. His whole face was (presumably?) blue, after all. He was still thinking of a bird name.

Yusuke sat down at the foot of their bed. He fiddled a bit with his fingers, and scratched at the drying paint on his hands. A learned habit.“I do hope you slept well.”

“Mm,” Akira replied, pushing himself up. “I think you gave me weird dreams.” He felt around a little for his glasses. If paint got on them, oh well. He’d curse the glasses god today. He wanted to see.

Yusuke reached out and picked up Akira’s pair. “Did I?” He handed them to him.

This tended to be a typical morning procedure. “Thanks.” He was pretty sure Yusuke’s hands were covered in paint. Maybe it was inevitable his glasses would get messy. “You did.”

“I apologize. You seemed to be sleeping quite soundly.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Vision at last.

Yusuke seemed relieved. Akira was sure if he told him about his slug encounter, he would take a good fifteen minutes connecting it to art and philosophy. Which would be fine, but Akira’s face was kind of itchy and scratchy. He could tell him later. He picked at it a bit.

It wasn’t like Yusuke wouldn’t notice, obviously, but it probably gave him the wrong idea. “The paint is thoroughly non-toxic. There is nothing to worry about.” He rubbed hard on his hand.

Akira wasn’t worried. There were things to worry about with Yusuke, but he wouldn’t consider this one of them. Yusuke was particular, it was a completely defining trait of his. No, Akira would not trust him with their grocery money. He would also not trust him left alone in a candy store. But he was considerate, and precise, and attentive. Especially to his art. And especially, Akira would bashfully admit, to him.

He could still tease him a little though. “It’s not at all?”

Yusuke straightened himself up. Which was a little bit funny to watch with his typically impeccable posture. It was more like he shuffled his shoulders around and puffed out his chest. “Absolutely. I would never let you near such toxins, not even dream of such a thing.” It was hard to not constantly give Yusuke fond looks.

He failed. He was a fond look giving machine. “So a kiss would be fine?” He grinned a very bluish grin. Give him a smooch, art boy. It would probably be better than paint water. Actually, he really really hoped it would be better than paint water.

“Ah.” Yusuke said, giving a sigh. “An innocent request turned devilish, I see.” Yusuke was also a fond look giving machine. They could make it a competition. The most sugary and sweet one in the world. The kind that would give Morgana hairballs, the poor cat.

Akira didn’t say anything. He looked at Yusuke, guilty but not regretful, and waited. It was only a little devilish, he thought. He could do much worse. He could do better, too. But there was no fun in that.

Yusuke stood up, and walked right up next to Akira, standing just where he was before. Akira gave him an innocent look; he was good at those, and it made Yusuke smile. Which was only more reason to get even better at them. Lying at interrogations was just an added bonus.

Yusuke was an all or nothing kind of guy. Akira knew this. So he wasn’t surprised when Yusuke cupped his face and leaned down, to give him a kiss, first on the cheek, then on the lips. Soft and sweet. Lovey and dovey.

Akira was very unhappy to see that when they pulled away, a grand total of none of the paint had gotten onto Yusuke. A foiled plan. He wiped at his lips anyway. How rude, you mean to say he didn’t want second-hand (second… face?) paint on his mouth? Like some kind of moderately health conscious member of society? You drank paint water, Yusuke. You’ve eaten grass before, Yusuke! The thought made him chuckle.

“What is it?” Yusuke asked, sitting himself down on the bed.

He probably wouldn’t appreciate the thought. “Nothing.” Akira fiddled with a piece of hair. “Did you get the picture you wanted?”

The question made Yusuke beam. “Indeed. I took several. Adjustments do need to be made, however.”

“That’s good.” He was glad Yusuke had become accustomed to editing digital photos. He was very against it at first, pretty much because he didn’t really understand what the editing was. Not like, photoshopping things in. Just things like saturation and lighting. This was another little hobby he’d picked up. He had never accidentally recreated Isaac Newton in Adobe, though.

“I will most certainly show you the completed product.”

“I’ll look forward to it,” Akira said. His nose itched. Not really in a sneezy way, but it was annoying him. He wanted to sniff, but he also didn’t exactly want to snort up Yusuke’s project. Yucky. “I think I want to wash this off, now.”

“Ah, of course.” Yusuke moved to let Akira off the bed. He hovered there quietly as Akira got up, and followed him to the bathroom.

Okay? “What’s up?”

Yusuke pressed his lips together. “Oh. I simply wanted to help you. As a penance, perhaps.”

Akira scoffed. “Strong word.” He didn’t mind Yusuke helping. He’d probably need it, or he’d give up halfway and finish by midnight. What wasn’t inherently tender about getting paint rubbed off your face. Ugh, and the peeling. It wasn’t a super great smell, either. He was gonna have such a look going on for this. Cute.

They walked in. Akira turned on the light and readied himself for a face scrubbing. He wondered if there had been any that got in his hair. That would suck getting out. He looked in the mirror, his mind set on checking, and thoroughly surprised himself at his reflection.

So the bird guess? He was kind of sort of close.

He’d made his whole face very lightly blue. There were feathers painted around his eyes that very gracefully formed into wings bending out and upwards towards his forehead. Little patterns of flowers and leaves framed his face and fell in swooping designs. It was all done in different shades of blue, you had to really look at it to see all the detail. Except on his cheeks. In a thick gold sat long tears, layered on top of each other. They traveled all the way down to his chin.

It was pretty.

He wanted to touch it.

He pressed his fingers into his cheeks, and squished upwards. It was sticky, and it didn’t give way much. But the farther he went, the more it moved. It got on his hands. He was all smudgy now. This was incredible.

He was also being watched. “I’m not sure that’s the most effective way.” Yusuke commented.

“I feel like,” Akira kept on squishing, “the slime in those stim videos.”

He laughed lightly at that. “I suppose we do all experience art in our own ways.”

Akira watched Yusuke absentmindedly through the mirrors reflection, while still giving his face a very blue massage. He grabbed a rag, and turned on warm water. He also took out a bottle from one of their cupboards. Yusuke had all sorts of painting things stored away, so it wasn’t all that surprising. Akira had found about eight bottles of acetone in Yusuke’s dorm room years ago. He remembered gaining a certain understanding of Yusuke’s budgeting problems.

He placed his materials down. “Will you be satisfied soon?” He asked, now watching him closely.

Akira paused mid-squish. He looked at Yusuke from the corner of his eye. “You want to give it a try?” Why not.

Yusuke blinked at him. And then visibly considered it.

“I’ve no reason to object, I suppose.”

Double the squish. This probably could’ve gone fifty-fifty. Akira dragged his fingers off his face, careful not to touch anything. They didn’t need a blue bathroom too. He held his own hands, and let Yusuke reach over to him.

Yusuke, who gave this a little more forethought than Akira had, removed his glasses first. Yeah, smart move. He couldn’t exactly wear them while they washed his face, anyway. He followed Yusuke’s hands as best he could when he put the glasses down, and followed them back up as he rested his palms on Akira’s face.

He pressed inwards and held him there for a second, and then moved his palms farther up just past his cheekbones. It made Akira quietly giggle, just quick little exhales. It felt way weirder when someone else was doing it. Not that it hadn’t felt a bit weird when he’d done it himself.

Yusuke was smiling too. Akira was very adamantly keeping his eyes open, which sometimes proved to be a challenge. He was gonna sit there and stare him down like this was the height of romance.

Yusuke placed his thumbs on the crook of Akira jawline, and swiped with his fingers outwards on his cheeks. He stayed there. Akira leaned into it. “Having fun?”

Yusuke tapped his fingers. “As much as you will let me.”

Akira nestled himself farther into Yusuke’s hands. It scrunched his face up more. He felt so squashed. Now this was amore. He was the king of romance.

It made Yusuke laugh, just a little. “You know, we are wasting water.”

In reply, Akira (very masterfully) kept as blank as an expression as possible while giving him fish lips.

That got a real laugh out of Yusuke, and he took his hands away. It was always nice to get laughs out of him. He didn’t used to often. That was, other than his occasional hearty chuckle when he was feeling an odd kind of inspired. Akira liked those ones, too.

Yusuke scrubbed his hands as well as he could in the water, and then wet down the rag. “Let us get to work, then.”

He was very gentle, wiping off big pieces and rinsing the rag whenever it got cold. Alright, this may have been better than Akira had anticipated. Yusuke was considerate and routined. Working through section after section, and making sure no water dribbled down onto his clothes. It was almost nice, even with the inevitable scrubbing that came with it. Yusuke picked up the mystery bottle. Akira gave it a look.

Yusuke had always been good at reading him. “It is coconut oil.” He unscrewed the cap. “Oils do well to get paint off of skin.”

He made a little noise of understanding, and Yusuke went back to his work. It was less rough this time. He felt super greasy, though. He was pretty sure coconut oil was good for your face? Maybe this would turn out to be a miniature spa session. He wondered if Yusuke was any good at nail art.

“Close your eyes, now,” said Yusuke. Akira was also pretty sure coconut oil was not good for the eyes. Just a wild guess. He did as he was asked, and Yusuke went to work, very careful on his eyelids. Very very careful around his eyes.

That reminded him. “I have a question.”

Yusuke hardly hesitated. “Anything.”

“Why was I crying?”

Yusuke stopped, just for a moment. “Ah,” A silence sat. “It was only that, in your rest… you simply seemed horribly melancholic.”

He sounded so sad.

And Akira about choked.

Yusuke retreated immediately. “Have I gotten some in your mouth? I am terribly sorry.” Understandable question, he’d made him start coughing like a maniac.

He cleared his throat. He was fine, he was chill. “No, don’t worry. That’s not it.” He wiped around his eyes. Oil was kind of gross, actually.

“Oh.”

He should probably elaborate. Yusuke looked confused. “It’s just funny you say I looked sad.” He leaned down onto the counter. “I was dreaming about slugs.” Or, the everlasting woes of slugs, apparently.

Yusuke paused. Processing, a little bit. “Slugs… you say?”

Slugs… he said. “Yep.”

“Were they… causing you any discomfort?”

Akira shook his head. “They were just hanging out.”

Yusuke was obviously considering this. It made him smile too, of course, but he was certainly lost in thought.

He’d come to his conclusion. “Perhaps they meant something more profound. The ways of the subconscious are ever mysterious.” He wet down the rag again, and poured more coconut oil.

Did they need that much? “Maybe.”

Apparently, they did. Less is more, but more is also more. He started up again, lightly scrubbing. “You know, due to ancient influences, a slug is considered to be more of a spiritual being than an earthly being. In symbolism, that is.”

“Is it now?” He’d known this would happen. Of course it would, it was Yusuke. He always kept little random pieces of knowledge about symbolic references in art and literature.

Which, you know, was fine. He was happy to hear it. He was covered in paint and coconut oil, sure, but they were working on it. Sometimes, this was what your days were like. Lazy, and a little slimy. He hoped that his skin would glow like goddamn Polaris after this.

They’d fly down a list of topics, starting at one point and ending at another. Yusuke would lose himself in talking, and Akira would always love to listen.

So, the morning ended the way it began. Feeling goopy.

And slugs.

#hello no i did not forget about these!!!! im just slow #also sorry i am incapable of making things short and sweet #i mean it its kinda probably longer than these prompts are supposed to be;;;;;;;#but. whatever.#anyway!!! i hope u enjoy #ask #relationshipcrimes #my fics #my p5 fics

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years ago

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HS^2 bloggin’ upd8 2020-01-17

Alright, morningblogging yesterday’s 2020-01-17 upd8 to Homestuck^2 let’s go! Spoiler-free again. I kinda don’t want even the next chapter names image-spoiled above the cut anymore so I’m going to have to figure out WHAT to put above the cut in these liveblog posts for visual reinforcement... a unique silly icon? Going back once I’m done with the upd8 and posting something non-spoilery but weird-looking out of context?

Eh, can’t be assed. Just know that after this I’m going to pony up for the Patreon commentary and skim it for anything plot-useful to y’all (in a separate post). Let’s get started.

Okay, what’s next: Any bonuses? Oh, none! Phew. Unless those are coming faster too and just staggered differently, which would mean I gotta overcome my irrational pre-Homestuck-reading anxiety even MORE often. :T

No Homestuck you don’t GET to ask how my-- ah, right. :P

(FYI, HS^2 has been good to my emotions so far, quite a balm for the epilogues, so once I START reading I’m usually fine; but after being hurt so badly how could I possibly convince my lizard brain to trust it until it’s right in front of me? Seriously, just hearing that the upd8 has landed messes me up a bit until I come fix it by reading w/ y’all here.)

Okay, so whose feelings? As much as I’ve been waiting for Jade, I hope this isn’t about Jade.

> ==>

Ah fuck, we’re finally with the Pursuit Crew. Bracing myself. That means we get to see probably sleeping Jade ( :C ), full-swing DaveKat (approving nod), the first canon onscreen look at masculine-mode Roxy (<3), a probably pretty pissed off Kanaya (possibly either the feelings target, the one Saying How Are Your Feelings, or both), and uh... did they drag Callie along? Or leave her back there with her meta freakout? Probably left her back there, but... hm.

Let me turn up the brightness on this screen to sear these next pages into my retinas. (Also, it feels odd to still be using a four-person “==>” for these, although if Jade is still asleep the numbers might fit on both ends... :c )

> ==>

I don’t think Dad is in the spacefaring business, so this is probably one of Jake’s shittier spaceship designs.

> ==>

...well that’s a touch disturbing. Is that a Jade-occupied bed or are those just pillows?

Oh what the fresh fanfic’y heck is this command.

> i enter.

Okay that’s great. I got a kick out of that.

JADE [in calliope red]: the prince’s power grows.

--but that’s not. That explains the narrative command text, it’s alt!callie talking through a still conked-out Jade. Please let her wake up between speak-throughs, please tell me you’ve learned that trick?? I already know you’re gonna pull an “oh she was asleep pretty much all of those THREE YEARS OF TRAVEL” thing on me and that’s hard fucking enough to deal with.

KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!

He’s actually using the full curse correctly, huh?

...These commands. Guess part of the puzzle is how much alt!Callie is being typically morbid and how much she might actually be wising up enough to get a kick out of this.

> the knight of blood falls.

DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second DAVE: also are you ok

Has CallieJade chilled for even a single second this entire trip?? Is he asking just if Karkat’s okay or Jade too???

--yeah I’m overblowing things out of nervousness. Just wait and see a bit, boots.

Alt!Callie has at least learned to be more of a smartass:

> karkat is characteristically appreciative of the alarm call.

Shirt trade Karkat, nice. And uh, Jade’s dress sure is a... dress. Hm.

(Did alt!Callie alchemize adjustments to did she just luck out to have a red-symbol’d Bec belt and accent leggings? I’d prefer the former, because as much as it would be acceptable within Homestuck proper, using the transition between the epilogues and this new-author’d work to just HAPPEN to give her a fitting outfit without an excuse via providence is kind of lazy.)

KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM! KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN! JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario. KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

...please let that mean he’s not used to her being possessed all the time and she wakes up sometimes. PLEASE.

DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door JADE: i unlocked it with my mind. DAVE: fuck KARKAT: FANTASTIC. JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.

Dave, I’m pretty sure regular-ass no-Green-Sun Space powers can flip a few lock tumblers too. (--though, I guess from context this was a Jakeship technolock. Confirmation on the ship’s bad taste in design. --I think I’m foggily remembering it said in the Epilogues that they took one of Jake’s ships just like Dirk did, too... man, being depressed so much by the Epilogues sure took a lot out of my ability to recall them decently.)

KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?

God DAMN IT she’s been asleep and possessed the whole fucking time.

> sleep is abandoned, coffee sought.

More obligatory DaveKat being cute, somehow only emphasized by the embarrassing glowing-with-power observer who doesn’t really get any of it.

Ah, here we go:

> the rogue is also awake.

Oh huh. Cool!

Hero outfit, understated... her his choice of heart-shades color-coded to stand out from Dave more to avoid further mistaken identity cases. Works well! (Holy shit I only JUST remembered at the end to go back and correctly gender Roxy as him, that was close. I blame the epilogues for a lack of visual reinforcement; I shouldn’t have as much trouble soon enough. Seriously, I don’t remember ANYTHING without visual reinforcement, I think that’s why I remember so much of Homestuck proper so clearly.)

KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US! ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess ROXY: it be like that

ilu roxy.

I missed Roxy so much, you guys. I need more of him remarking on all this crazy shit if I’m gonna stay sane though all this. (And I need more of him and AWAKE JADE kicking ass independently or together if I’m going to continue to believe there’s justice in the world.)

> ==>

We rarely saw Rose drinking anything but the rare coffee in canon, but I think Kanaya would have gotten her plenty into tea, yes. Or at the very least, wanting the aesthetic of drinking tea with Kanaya would have gotten Rose into tea even if it never crossed Kanaya’s mind to try the stuff.

ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances" > the prince is contemplated for a moment in silence.

FUCK, Dirk can see the narrative all the way out here??? No wonder alt!Callie’s forced to have possession turned on 24/7. That’s fucking disappointing. How the hell are we going to get any proper Jade time with THAT hanging over our heads? She’d only be able to do anything when Dirk’s knocked out, and maybe not even THEN!

I was virtually promised more of actual non-asleep Jade getting shit done in HS^2. Now there’s an even longer wait on it than I expected. This sucks.

(EDIT: BOY did I misread that link line. Thinking “is contemplated” meant is sitting contemplating, when it meant "is being contemplated by everyone here". That was dumb of me.)

*clicks that next link*

Oh my goodness, Roxy joined the Bird Hair Crew. It makes him look like a fucking asshole but I kind of love it.

KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?

I can’t believe Karkat is okay with drinking milk. --yes, culturally Trolls are more comfortable with animal excretions than we are, but you would’ve thought years of railing against Equius would have purged any tolerance the idea of milk from his psyche.

I guess Dave introduced him to cereal, and it was all over from there.

DAVE: this is more like a castle DAVE: a castle of idk DAVE: twenty something ennui

Sounds like a relatable mood. Especially considering Dirk probably decided to conquer reality out of almost nothing but twenty-something ennui.

Alright. You aren’t going to turn Kanaya into an alcoholic or anything on us are you?

> the knight of time seeks a sylph...

--this is the shittiest shipboard starship aesthetic.

> ...and finds her, momentarily.

WOW that looks fucking depressed. :(

> ==>

...okay you know what? Never mind. That outfit has wrapped straight back around into Trying Too Hard and is now hilarious.

DAVE: you ever feel like our whole lives are eventually gonna end up like this DAVE: just blasting through space on a sweeps long journey to ""somewhere"" chasing after or running from some vague enemy thats sometimes a god modded pet dog and sometimes your dad DAVE: without the faintest fucking idea of whats going to happen when we get there DAVE: thats a little specific but you know what i mean

Why do you think the epilogues upset us so much? We thought we’d won free of that bullshit.

> ==>

Oh jesus christ that’s the most depressingly sad I’ve ever seen Kanaya drawn. :C

--Karkat got you to watch Serendipity? That’s amazing, Dave.

KANAYA: You Arent Reminding Me Of Her As I Rarely Think Of Anything Else KANAYA: I Close My Eyes And I See Her KANAYA: I Keep Them Open And I See Her

Fuck.

Y’know how little showing these two in love and actually HAPPY together we’ve seen in this entire comic and its subworks? Despite them having spent at least a few happy years together we only saw in tiny screenclips? And how Candy alluded super hard that they most likely couldn’t get that in this real timeline where shit’s going down?

Seriously, FUCK. You could at least pretend to give us some hope, here.

Oh no, don’t ask for the nursery story, Dave. Unless it turns out to be a funny one or a Rose twist on an old story or something. Which it probably is, I should stop worrying.

> ==>

KANAYA: Oh Its A Wriggler Story About A Young Prince And The Beloved Flower He Loved And Lost DAVE: flower DAVE: like a plant KANAYA: Its A Fairytale Dave DAVE: right KANAYA: A Singular Wild Rose He Failed To Cherish When He Had Her KANAYA: And His Journey Of Discovering What She Meant To Him All Along KANAYA: Culminating In A New Quest To Find Her And Win Her Back

Dirk you PIECE OF SHIT did you rewrite the narrative of the fucking STORIES SHE TOLD CHILDREN?!?? Does the fact that alt!Callie is only in the present mean he can rewrite ANY past event we didn’t literally SEE??? FUCK you. Seriously fuck all of this.

Please tell me she was kidding just then, or realizes there’s fucking something wrong with what she’s saying and getting angry or.

(EDIT: shoutyourporpoise replied: "Hey, idk If you picked up on this, but the 'nursery story' Rose told to the wigglers is just The Little Prince, which is maybe a BIT early for them to read, but I don't think that's a case of Dirk changing the narrative; its just Rose being Too Adult as usual." Oh, damn, I didn't even CATCH that it was that story. That makes all of this a lot more forgivable, even if pretty unforgivably leaning into the fiction that Dirk used to brainwash and kidnap her. Maybe that's exactly why it worked -- fiction, a story so blazed into the public consciousness? Hm. Thanks, shoutyourporpoise.)

KANAYA: But In A Way I Feel As If It Is the Greater Universe Trying To Tell Me Something

Mother fuck I’m even going to have to see our protagonists warped by Dirk when they’re ostensibly FULLY SHIELDED aren’t I. There’s only so much of that I would be able to take, you know.

KANAYA: It May Simply Stem From My Longing To See Her Again And How Much Is Indicative Of Something More Sinister KANAYA: She Is A Goddess Of Light And The Only Of Her Kind We Know Is Alive After All KANAYA: Maybe Shes Wrested Dominion Of The Entire Concept In All Its Appearances Within This Frame Of Reference

Hm. Well, it being a product of Rose’s ascension instead of Dirk’s is possibly a more charitable take, with Ultimate Rose projecting the delusion enforced on her backward, visible to past Rose’s Sight when she isn’t paying attention and thus paving the way for Dirk to paradoxically exploit that “ideal” as something Lighty and Important and “Perfect”. I still don’t fucking like it though.

> ==>

DAVE: sorry i know you say you got your badass monster powers but kanaya you look tired as hell DAVE: not that im tryna psyche you or whatever but youre waxing poetic in the dark which i guess is maybe on brand but still

Yyyep.

DAVE: unless terezi is lurking in the vents somewhere and now that i bring that up its actually not out of the question so im kind of gonna be thinking about that one for a while

Pffff.

DAVE: youre the only person i know whos still basically the same as when i met you

--Which is kind of going to have to change, right? She’s got some other cosmic purpose ready to change her a little more than she changed pre-human-troll-meetup, you’d think.

> ==>

Cute as hell.

> ==>

KANAYA: How Are Your Feelings

There’s the title drop. I’d think Dave’s doing pretty well, considering? Still fucked over by Dirk betraying and tricking Rose away who he’s been close with all his life, but.

> ==>

DAVE: except sometimes your best friend disappears and your other best friend goes into a ghost coma and your third best friend fucks off to space with your dad DAVE: the dude youve spent the last 7 years convincing yourself isnt an egomaniacal anime villain DAVE: and who isnt actually lying in wait to completely decimate your life and your emotions and shit

Ah... yeah. A little worse than my casual list, huh? Forgot that Jade vanishing into a possession-coma for THREE FUCKING YEARS is going to be hard on people inside the comic too, fuck.

DAVE: maybe it was naive to think that a bunch of twenty something trauma victims could run a society

I was honestly surprised they TRIED to run society at all. Jasp even just highlighted a big reason why not in the bonuses.

DAVE: cool how earth c existed for centuries then we show up and manage to ruin society in seven fucking years

Well, the trolls got THEIR lesson on why they didn’t deserve to rule over their new universe like gods; I guess some of y’all needed that lesson too?

DAVE: every serious conversation i have inevitably falls apart into riffing on a casual acquaintances ass

True.

Dammit, Dave didn’t feel like he could just be Some Guy even on Earth C. :(

> ==>

...don’t think I’ve forgotten that nursery story, though. I don’t want to think that it was something that ACTUALLY past happened, especially not without manipulation. Like maybe past Rose was foreseeing the false purpose that Dirk wrote for her or the like, a cooperative misunderstanding between the two instead of Dirk or Rose literally reaching back in time.

> meanwhile...

KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN ASKING? HE’S OBVIOUSLY NOT FINE. KARKAT: ARE ANY OF US? ARE YOU? ROXY: not rly KARKAT: EXACTLY.

--Oh right. I remember that Callie and Roxy were going reasonably steady in Meat even though it was only alluded to, she didn’t freak out and stay awol or what have you. That’s good to remember. But it means Roxy deliberately left her behind to go on this dangerous quest, for years. :C

KARKAT: KANAYA BARELY EVEN TALKS, CALLIOPE WON’T LEAVE THEIR CABIN, JADE JUST FLOATS AROUND LIKE A CREEPY BALLOON THAT’S MOSTLY MADE OF HAIR.

Oh, SHIT. I should have read one line further. They DID bring her. Alt!Callie being here too must really FUCK with her. ...maybe she can actually learn to accept that alternate way her life might’ve played out, though?

KARKAT: THE REALLY FUCKED UP THING IS I MIGHT BE THE MOST OKAY OUT OF ALL OF US, WHICH IS HOW YOU KNOW SHIT HAS REALLY GONE GLOBES UP.

Quite true.

ROXY: ur kinda an intense dude anybody ever tell u that KARKAT: NO.

Pff.

> ==>

KARKAT: AGAINST PRETTY MUCH ALL ODDS, AND DESPITE ME NOT DESERVING ANY OF IT, I ENDED UP GETTING PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING I WANTED. KARKAT: OVER AND OVER AGAIN. KARKAT: SOMETIMES IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE WHATEVER SLATHERING MONSTROSITY OF A COSMIC HELLBEAST THAT PUT ALL THIS SHIT INTO MOTION...ACTUALLY LIKES ME?

Well, if you want to blame Lord English for instance... we never saw Caliborn and Karkat interact much, but the parallels between the two were drawn so severely that Caliborn was basically the idealized, multiverse-threatening Ultimate Kismesis that he’d always dreamed of. And operated against him without him even ever quite realizing it.

If a level of “respect” went from Caliborn to Karkat, too, from his Lord-Englishy vision nigh-omnipresent, then this outcome isn’t very surprising at all.

> ==>

(I don’t quite feel I get why Roxy shifted to this exasperated-Dave expression, but I get logically that he’d been waiting for Karkat to make a breakfast choice... Homestuck proper rarely pulled a “last line said corresponds to next-panel’s expression” without either leaving the conversation blank or having the NEXT lines of the conversation reinforce it, to prevent this inelegant misunderstanding. Andrew was really damned talented in getting his point across visually, in that regard. Just like, that careful visual intent delivery.)

Alright, I guess that’s it for this short upd8! Meeting the pursuit crew was both more and less difficult than I expected. Hopefully I get desensitized a bit as the characters continue to feel semi-almost-sorta-fine.

I have NO idea how this group is gonna work as a proper crew when we get to whatever weird other-players’ session this shit is going down in, though.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots #spoiler #spoilers #shoutyourporpoise

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