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illfoandillfie · 5 years

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5 Simple Rules for a Successful Fake Relationship: The Proposal

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: Your's and Ben's agents approach you about pretending to date in order to boost interest in your new movie.

Warnings: Nothing for this chapter other than some swearing maybe? Things may get a little spicy in later chapters though.

Words: 5843

AN: This fic was written for El @laedymoon for her 1K celebration! I took the trope 'fake dating' and this was the result! Honestly fake dating is one my my fave tropes and I've been wanting to try my hand at it for a while so this was so much fun to write! Originally it was meant to be a one shot but when have I ever been good at sticking to plans lmao? Instead it'll probably end up as a three or four part series, maybe with an epilogue as well, who knows.

I’d also like to point out I started writing this months before we got those photos of Ben and Olivia so this was in no way inspired by anyone’s theories about whether or not their relationship is a PR stunt and I’m not particularly interested in that kind of talk.

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @ezmina98 @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie

You’d known fake celebrity relationships were a thing that happened, you just never expected to be approached about one. But, here you were, sat next to Ben in an office usually reserved for producers meetings, a slight frown on his face as he listened to your agents explain how beneficial it would be if the public believed you were a couple. “It’ll be good for the movie,” your agent, Mary, said matter-of-factly, “Studies show that if people – particularly women ages 15 – 45, the exact demographic we’re targeting – believe a real romance sprouted during the course of filming a movie, they are 78% more likely to see the movie. Plus, your names in the tabloids mean more exposure for both of you which means more offers in future, no matter how well this movie does in the box office. It’s all about being seen, people knowing your names.” “Are you serious?” Ben asked slowly, glancing to you, as if trying to determine your reaction. “Look, Ben, obviously we can’t force you or Y/N to do this,” his agent, Peter, introduced to you moments before, said, “the movie has already started filming and everyone appreciates your opinions, so saying no isn’t going to affect your jobs. But,” he paused, making sure the words were getting through to you both, “we strongly recommend you consider it. There are enough pros to make it worthwhile and it would only have to last until a week or two after the premiere. We can give you the rest of the day to think it over and make your decisions, but we will require an answer by tomorrow morning. If you agree, we can discuss terms and get everything in order to run the first story early next week.”

You and Ben left, tempted to laugh at the strangeness of your morning. “Think I need a coffee after that. You wanna come over to my trailer for a cup?” “Yeah, okay, sounds good,” you followed him quietly for a moment, thinking over the conversation you’d just been part of, “What do you think?” “About what? Coffee? You know I love it,” “Not coffee, the whole pretending to date thing,” “Oh that,” you could almost hear his eyes roll. “You don’t think it’s worth it?” He paused. “Saying no won’t hurt my feelings,” you nudged his shoulder, hoping to ease his obvious discomfort, “it is a weird situation.” “Weird is an understatement. And weren’t you with that Luke guy, what would he say about it?” “He’ll say nothing since we’re not seeing each other anymore,” “Wait, what?” “Yeah that lasted like three dates and went nowhere, I haven’t seen him in weeks.” “Oh, sorry.” You shrugged, “What’s there to be sorry for, he was boring. Anyway, we were talking about you and me.” “Right, that.” Ben opened the door to his trailer and waved you inside, following you over the threshold, “What do you think about it?” “I’m not opposed to it. We already spend a lot of our time pretending to date anyway.” Ben chuckled as he flicked the small kettle on, grabbing your two mugs and the instant coffee. “Plus it would be good to get our names out there a bit more. And we're friends, right?” After the weeks of pre-production costume fittings and script read-throughs you certainly thought you were friends and hoped Ben did too. “Of course we’re friends doofus,” “Thanks dweeb. But that means it'll be fun getting to hang out and stuff.” “So, wait, you think it’s a good idea?” “Well it can’t hurt, can it?” Ben frowned, forehead creased, “Don’t you think it’s all a bit, well, daft? As if us dating, real or not, would really have an impact on the movie, I think that’s bullshit. Plus, y’know, the work we’d have to put in to making it seem real or whatever. That’s just inviting extra stress into our lives and extra work which it doesn’t sound like we’d be getting paid for. Acting’s fun but I don’t want to spend every waking moment doing it.” “Well it wouldn’t be every waking moment would it? Just the ones when they had photographers around. They’ll get a few photos of us leaving set holding hands or out having dinner together and spin it into a big romantic story and all we’d have to do is hold hands and have dinner. And you can’t call bullshit when they had actual statistics to back them up.” “It sounds like you’re trying to convince me.” “No, if you don’t want to I don’t mind, but I also don’t see anything wrong with it. And I think you should actually think about it instead of writing it off instantly.” “So if I said I was into it, you’d want to?” You shrugged, “Yeah. I want this movie to do well, I want this job to go somewhere. And if I have to date you to make that happen I will. That sounded better in my head. I just mean that I’m happy to pretend to date you, even if I wouldn’t in real life, no offence.” “I’m a little offended,” he chuckled, “but really can’t argue with that can I?” “If you’re not comfortable with it, say so and we’ll tell them no,” Ben paused, staring at you as he considered what you’d said, quiet for so long you were sure he was going to say he wasn’t interested. You were about to put him out of his misery and tell him you didn’t want to anymore when he spoke up. “They did say it would be good for the movie and out careers,” “Someone’s coming around,” you sing-songed, taking the mug he offered you. “Alright, I admit, maybe not as awful an idea as I first thought. There are…some pros anyway. And I guess we can hear the terms and then make up our minds properly.” “Aww, looks like I got myself a boyfriend,”

The next morning you found out what you were in for if you did agree to it. Once again both of your agents were waiting in the office but this time a third person was with them when you arrived. “Y/N, Ben, take a seat. This is Barry, he’s a representative from Paramount Pictures.” Barry, with his salt and pepper hair and well cut suit, leaned forward in his seat to shake Ben’s hand and then yours with a pleasant greeting. “Well,” Mary spoke up, “have you made a decision?” Ben looked to you before he spoke, “It’s a tentative yes from both of us. We’d like to hear a bit more about it before we fully agree but, so far, it sounds okay.” “Glad to have you on board,” Barry said, reaching into his bag and pulling out a manila folder full of paper. “In that case, the terms,” Peter said, glancing around to make sure everyone was ready, “If you do agree, we’ll need you to sign some paperwork stating you understand your obligations and all that, so take a copy of these,” he took two small stapled documents from Barry, handing you each one, before passing another to Mary, “just so everyone has all the info at hand.” “Are these the terms?” “Yes. Don’t worry, we’ll explain, but it’s all laid out in there if you need clarification.” “There’s more pages than I was expecting,” Ben said, already sounding like it was becoming too much work to worry about. “You don’t have to worry about the last few pages, it’s mostly just legalese. Essentially, you’ll be required to act like a couple in public. That’s really all there is to it, though contractually it’s a little more complex.” “What does that mean?” “We just need you both to agree to perform specific relationship type moments that we can sell. For instance, Y/N, we will need you to be spotted by paparazzi leaving Ben’s apartment a couple of times. Or vice versa. It is the 21st century afterall.” “You mean like a walk of shame?” you asked, glancing at the paper in your hand. “That’s not the official term on the contract but it’s more or less correct. You’ll need to change clothes, make it look like you stayed the night even if you didn’t really.” “Wouldn’t it be more traditional to wear the previous day’s gear?” “Perhaps but if you’re in the same clothes as the day before the paparazzi can’t sell the photos as easily because they can’t prove they were taken on different days. We want to make these photos easy to sell and easy to circulate. To that end, some paparazzi and gossip blogs will be tipped off by the studio and hopefully word will spread as the buzz around you gets stronger.” “There will also be required dates, of course. At least one of them needs to take place at the French restaurant Boucher because they have a partnership with the studio. There is also a clause about an argument, provided people become interested in your relationship and we keep it going all the way to the premiere.” “Wait, an argument?” Ben flipped through his papers, trying to find the right section. “You just have to be caught arguing, or at least looking like you’re angry and about to fight, just so we can sell the whole trouble in paradise storyline.” “People like conflict,” Mary shrugged, “Otherwise all we need is the two of you to act like a couple in public, maybe a few social media posts, from now until a week after the theatre release. After that you’re free to ‘break up’, though you will also need to sign a non-disclosure agreement which will stop you from talking about it for a few years. We’ll organise a few magazines and gossip sites to run stories about the split and, depending on how the public react to your story, may later run some Ben and Y/N, back together question mark type pieces, entirely fabricated of course.” “You will attend the premiere together and, obviously, do press together. We will tell reporters not to ask about your personal lives, so no one suspects the relationship to be fake, though a few questions may slip through. Though we don’t expect this movie to earn any award nominations since it’s not being marketing for any there may be some later down the track. In that case we may ask you to extend your relationship long enough to attend the ceremonies together, provided you aren’t working on other projects at the time.” “The only other requirements are that, a few times a week you allow yourselves to be seen in public. Hand holding, kissing, really sell the whole fallen in love thing. That’s it really.” “And we can’t even tell our families?” “One leak is all it would take to have this revealed. You tell your mum who accidentally lets slip to the neighbour who sells it to a magazine. And if it’s revealed it could be harmful when it comes to box office numbers, which is the exact opposite of what we want. But enough of these have been done so that we know how to manage them, and all you have to do is keep quiet about it and act like you’re in love. Easy. Are you both on board?” Barry, who’d been quiet throughout the meeting, leaned forward expectantly. You already knew what to say, "I’m in if Ben is,” Ben chewed his lip as he skimmed over the paper in his hands again. He sighed and raised his eyes to where Barry sat, waiting. “I don’t know I-” You’d seen it coming, his answer. Really it wasn’t much of a surprise. Ben didn’t strike you as the sort of person to go in for schemes like this and he’d been hesitant from the second it was suggested. You heard him sigh again as his gaze landed on you and you wondered if he thought less of you for wanting to be part of it. “Okay. I’m in.” You were a little stunned by his change of heart but you were the only one. Everyone else in the room seemed relieved and a little frantic, Barry reaching back into his bag, Mary and Peter talking over each other to assure you both that you’d made the right choice. “Glad to hear that, Ben,” Barry was saying as he pulled out another folder of documents, “Now, we’ll need you to both to sign here.”

After shooting was done for the day you accompanied Ben to a small pub for a drink. Mary and Peter had left the meeting on their phones making hurried calls to get photos of the two of you leaving the set together. You’d jumped a little as Ben grabbed your hand before realising why his fingers were linked through your own. It was warm and he didn’t let you go until you reached the pub, the snap of cameras audible as you walked down the street. You found a booth while Ben headed to the bar, returning a little later with a drink in each hand. “One G and T for my girlfriend,” he laughed as he put the drink in front of you and slid into the seat opposite. “Y’know if you told me last week that I’d have had a boyfriend before we finished filming and that it was you, I would have laughed.” “God me too. Our jobs are so bizarre. Literally what other profession would encourage you to pretend to date?” You laughed and pulled out the papers you’d been given that morning, “And who’d have thought there’d be so many contractual requirements.” “We should add our own set of rules. Like just so we’re clear about what we’d be uncomfortable doing or whatever.” “Safewords?” “Get your mind out of the gutter. Christ, you fake ask a girl out and suddenly all she can think about is sex.” “My mind was in the gutter long before we were set up.” He let out a huff of laughter and shook his head, reaching for his glass. “I know what you mean though. We should definitely define some things,” you grabbed your bag and began digging through it for a pen. When you found it, you turned the papers over giving you a blank canvas to work on, “Firstly sex.” “Should have known,” “May as well start with the big one. Rule 1: No Sex. Completely off the table.” you took a sip of your drink as you began jotting it down. “Your wank game strong?” The conversation was interrupted as you choked on your drink, finally recovering enough to splutter, “excuse me?” “Well it sounds like we might be together for a while. Can’t go on any tinder dates or anything since that would look like cheating. You sure you can last that long? “100 per cent.” “Alright, if you’re sure. Rule one, no sex.” You finished writing it down, rolling your eyes, “What about PDAs? We have to do some but is there anything you’d be uncomfortable with?” “I’m not really one for like public make out sessions,” “Thank god, me neither.” “Okay, good. What about cuddling and that kind of thing. Man this is weird to talk about,” “Yeah, is a bit. I can do some cuddling in public but y'know, nothing too much. Hugs are fine, an arm around my shoulders is fine. Holding hands is obviously okay.” “What about an arm around the waist?” “Hmmm….maybe. Yeah, I think I’d be okay with that. But your hand never goes below my lower back. I will have no arse grabs or pinches or hands in my back pocket.” “Wasn’t planning on that but good to know. Does cuddling include lap sitting?” “Absolutely not.” “Okay, strong boundaries, I respect that. You going to write all that down?” “Rule 2: PDAs kept respectable and to a minimum. And rule 3: hands above the belt at all times. What about our families and friends?” you asked as you made notes on acceptable PDAs, “chances are we’re going to have to deal with them at some point since they’re going to think it’s real.” “Okay, um, how about…no meeting anyone unless there’s a reason like a family gathering you’d be expected to bring a partner to. And if that does come up we can work out a game plan then.” “Make sense. Rule 4: No families unless no escape.”

By the time you left the pub, your list of rules tucked into your bag, it was quite late. “Hey, you wanna crash at mine tonight?” Ben asked, “we can text Peter and Mary, let them know so they can organise paparazzi for the morning.” “Tonight? I don’t have a toothbrush or a change of clothes or anything.” “We’ll pop into a shop and buy you a new toothbrush, should probably get you one for my place anyway since apparently you’ll be staying over more than once. And I’m sure I’ve got something you can sleep in.” “And tomorrow? Can’t wear this again in case we get photographed.” “I’ll give you something and then I’ll drop you home in the morning,” he shrugged. “I guess that would work,” “C’mon, it’ll be like a sleepover. Stay up late and talk about boys, have things devolve into a sexy pillow fight, sleepover stuff.” “And you say my mind lives in the gutter.” “That’s not a no,” “Alright, I’ll crash at yours. Closer to here than mine is anyway.” “Awesome,” he grinned at you, “c’mon, this way….babe?” “Didn’t sound so convincing there, Ben,” you snorted. “You should have used a pet name then, instead of my actual one. And I was just testing the waters, what’d you think?” “Babe’s okay. As long as we don’t get into weirdly cutesie things like turtle dove or snookums.” “You don’t want me to call you snookums? How about cuddle bunny? Pumpkin pie?” “Oh fuck off,” “Think you mean fuck off honey bear.” “Rule 5: Standard pet names only!”

As much as he clearly enjoyed teasing you, Ben made sure you had a good time with him. He took your hand again but it was only so he could pull you into the warmth of a small Chinese restaurant. It was one he seemed to regularly visit judging by the way the man at the counter knew Ben’s order straight away. He seemed a little surprised when Ben asked to add extra dishes, eyes darting to your entwined hands, and then back to Ben’s face, but he said nothing, just cheerily gave Ben the new price. “What was that about?” you asked as you walked the last block to Ben’s door, each of you carrying a bag, his full of food and yours supplies from the grocery store, “the look he gave you when he saw me?” “Oh, that’s nothing. I used to go to that place a lot with my ex and then we broke up and I kept going on my own cause it’s close and it’s fucking good food. But, um, they know me pretty well and I guess it’s been a while since I took a girl there.” “Well I’m flattered that you chose me to be part of this touching moment,” you laughed and followed Ben to his front door, taking the second bag from him so he could pull his keys from his pocket and let you in. You’d never been inside Ben’s place before so you let him lead you down the hallway towards the kitchen, taking charge of pulling everything from the bags as Ben got out plates and cutlery. “Oh shit, hang on gotta text Mary and Peter,” You took over dividing up the food as Ben dug his phone out of his pocket. A few seconds after he’d sent the message and put his phone down a ding made him snatch it back up again. “Peter says there’ll be someone here to snap us while we leave. They want us to kiss if possible. Guess it’s really started then,” “Guess so. Can I ask one thing?” “Sure,” he said it slowly, almost nervously. “Why’d you change your mind about this? I thought for sure you’d say no.” “Oh, that. I don’t know, I guess I figured it wouldn’t hurt, especially if it was going to benefit the movie. C’mon, don’t want this to go cold,” You weren't sure you believed him but you let him shrug off the question as you picked up your plate and followed him into the living room. The next couple of hours were spent eating and watching trashy reality tv shows, making jokes at their expense. You and Ben kept talking long after the show ended, until he realised how late it was getting. “Better turn in otherwise I won’t get up in the morning,” he laughed. “Yeah, probably a good plan,” you stretched out on the couch, placing a cushion under your head. “C’mon, I’ll show you to your room.” “You mean I’m not sleeping on the couch?” “Oh my god you’re a dork,” he threw another cushion at you, “I have a spare room you can use.” “Well I didn’t know that,” you laughed as you pushed yourself to your feet, following him back down the hallway towards a closed door you hadn’t noticed before. “Nah, you’re all good. It’s honestly mostly used by my friend Joe when he’s travelling over this way. There’re clean sheets in the linen press in the bathroom which is the next door on the right, and extra blankets in the cupboard just there. Also watch the blinds if you try to close them, they can be a little stiff. If there’s anything else you need let me know, my bedroom is at the end of the hall, near the living room.” “Some PJs would be good, if it’s no trouble.” “Oh right, yeah of course, give me a second.” You dropped your bag in a corner of the room and then popped into the bathroom to grab some sheets. Ben came back with an old t-shirt and some flannel pants. “These are mine so they’ll probably be a bit big but they’ll be fine for the night. And they’ll look good for the camera in the morning.” “Thanks,” “That everything?” “Think so, night Ben,” “Night, snookums.” “Rule five mister,” Ben just laughed, pulling your door shut behind him.

Waking up in Ben’s spare room was mildly confusing. The bed faced a different direction than yours did, the blinds blocked out too much of the morning light, and the sheets felt different. But the previous night came back to you and then the reason you were staying at Ben’s did too. It made you too nervous to go back to sleep, too restless to stay there, so you got up and stumbled to the door, opening it just in time to see Ben leaving the bathroom. “Morning,” he groaned with half shut eyes and sleep mussed hair, “you want a coffee?” “Please. Thanks.” He yawned, acknowledging your answer with a nod and left the bathroom to you. When you were done you found him in the kitchen with a steaming mug of coffee in his hands and a second on the bench in front of him. You took it gratefully, letting the warm caffeine wake you up.” “Breakfast? I can offer you toast or cereal unless you wanna wait for pancakes to cook.” You shook your head, “Don’t normally eat breakfast,” Ben looked aghast, “You know breakfast’s important, right?” “Shhh, lemme wake up before you start lecturing me,” Ben smiled into his own mug, falling silent until you’d downed half your drink, “You good now? Alert?” “Close enough. Please don’t tell me about breakfast though.” “I wasn’t going to. There was another text from Peter this morning.” “What’d it say?” “Well, a photographer will be here around nine-ish ready for us, but they said he’ll stay for as long as we take.” “Okay.” “And, um, he was very careful in how he worded it, but they want us to look like we fucked. Also I told them I’d take you home so there may be someone waiting for us there too, he never got back to me on it.” “Shit, okay. Umm, guess I’ll just wear this then?” you indicated the pyjamas you’d borrowed, “might lose the pants though, help sell it a bit more.” “Yeah, guess so,” Ben cleared his throat and took a sip of coffee, his eyes firmly fixed over your shoulder. “What time is is?” “Uhhhh,” he glanced at the oven, “Twenty past eight.” “God I haven’t been up this early on a weekend in months.” “Not one for farmers markets or anything then?” “Not really. Much prefer lying in bed doing nothing.” “Me too,” “We’re meant for each other,” you laughed, “did you want to have a shower or anything?” “Nah, you can if you want though,” “Might as well wait until I get home. But I am gonna clean my teeth, especially if we have to kiss.” “Maybe mess up your hair too, make it look like you didn’t sleep much.” “Well how could I when you’re such a good lover,” “I know you’re joking but if anyone asks, I’m incredible. You came like three times.” “Did I now?” “Of course.” “Good thing no one’s gonna ask then, don’t think I’m great at lying.” “You’re an actress, Y/N. Besides, it’s not really a lie, I am that good. You just haven’t experienced it personally.” You poked your tongue out at Ben as you stood and headed towards the bathroom again but you did as he’d suggested and messed your hair up as much as you could.

“How do I look?” you ask Ben when you were done. “Gorgeous,” he said, eyes raking over every inch of your appearance from the ruffled hair to the hint of panda eyes you’d manufactured with your eyeshadow to the slightly unbuttoned flannel shirt and missing pants. “But do I look like I’ve been thoroughly fucked?” “Oh, right, umm, yes I think so,” “You do? I feel like theres something missing.” You darted back into the bathroom to look in the mirror again, “Oh! I know. Might be taking it a bit far though.” “What is it?” Ben asked, following you and watching you in the mirror. “What if you gave me a hickey?” “Y/N, I-” “Yeah, I know, that’s a weird thing to ask. Don’t worry, I think we’ll be fine without it.” Ben’s cheeks puffed up with air that he slowly let escape his lips, “no, you’re right, if I’d really slept with you last night I would have marked you up a bit. A hickey will definitely make it look more authentic.” “It’s not totally inappropriate for me to ask?” “No, no, we have to make it look legit, it’s a good suggestion. Here, I’ll uhh,” he stepped in close, one hand tentatively winding around your waist to pull you back against him, the other moving to push your hair aside. His breath was hot as he leaned into your neck. You saw him glance at your reflection, eyebrows slightly furrowed, but then his lips were on your skin, sucking at you until a bruise formed. Your own breath quickened with the contact but you knew it was just because he’d found a particularly sensitive spot and it had been a while since anyone had handled you like that. It was still just Ben and it was still part of your jobs. But all the same you let your eyes slip shut and hummed at how nice it felt. You were almost disappointed when it was over. Ben stood there for a moment, head bent over your neck, long enough to take a deep breath, but then he seemed to collect himself, taking a quick step back. “Will that do?” “It’s great Ben, really ties the whole look together.” Ben returned your smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Good. Good. Okay then, I’ll umm, what time is it?” “Just after nine,” you said, glancing at your phone, “wonder if the photographer is here yet.” “I think I will jump in for that shower actually, by the time I’m done he definitely will be.” “Okay,” “Make yourself comfortable though, watch some TV or something.” “Alright. Thanks for being so cool about all this. I know you’re a little sceptical about the benefits and everything.” “It’s fine, Y/N, no need for any of that.” He smiled again as you left the bathroom and the door shut behind you, but it still seemed off.

You settled onto the couch to flick TV channels, pausing at a breakfast news show and then at some kids cartoon you didn’t recognise, only stopping when Ben entered the room, clean and dressed. “Hey, I was wondering,” you said, turning towards him, “should I give you a hickey as well?” “No,” You were a little taken aback by how quickly he’d answered. “I mean, I think that’d be overkill. Keep it up our sleeves for next time, yeah?” “Okay, yeah, sure,” “Is he there?” “I think so.” Ben walked towards the window and twitched the curtain aside just enough to peek out, “Yeah, looks like him. Big camera pointing at my front door.” “Okay,” your heart began to beat a little faster, “show time then,” “Show time.” Ben nodded as he turned back to you. “Do we have a plan? I kinda wish I had a script right about now,” Ben laughed a little and you thought he seemed more himself, “I think you should go out first so they can get a good clean shot and then I come out after, maybe with my hand on your back?” “Sounds good,” “Okay, umm, I’ll lock the door and when I turn around you kiss me and then I’ll open the passenger door for you and we’ll drive to your place.” “Don’t bother opening my door. I’m not big into that kind of gesture, plus I think if we were actually being caught by the paparazzi, we’d be getting into the car as quick as possible. Maybe throw a look his way like you aren’t happy about being photographed just so it doesn’t seem too staged.” “Okay, no opening doors, noted.” You shrugged, “I just think it’s a bit old fashioned and unnecessary,” “I’ll keep that in mind for our dates. You ready to do this?” You nodded and stood up, leading the way to the front door. Ben collected his keys and wallet and placed a hand on the lower part of your back, your signal to open the door and step outside. “Kinda wish I had pants on,” you said softly, “It’s a bit brisk,” Ben chuckled as he followed you out, “We’ll put the heating on in the car for you,” he turned to lock the door. You watched him, fingers gripping the key a little tighter than he perhaps normally would, and as soon as he began to turn back around you were moving towards him, one hand thrown around his neck, the other in his hair as your pressed your lips to his. His hand found your back again, pulling you in close as he kissed you back fiercely, as if he were unwilling to let you go after such a good night together, the kiss of a man falling in love. For half a second you forgot it was an act. And then he was gone, his nose brushing yours briefly before there was space between you. You felt a little dazed with Ben looking at you so softly but you took a deep breath and reality came back to you. With another breath your turned and headed towards the car, able to hear the rapid click click click of the camera. You shot a look towards the noise and then got into the car, Ben hopping into the driver’s seat about a second later.

“You’re a good actor,” you said before silence could settle between you, “I already knew that, of course, but the kiss was really good. Almost completely believable.” “As long as it’s believable enough in the photos,” “I’m sure it will be. I think we pulled it off.” Ben nodded, “Yeah. You still chilly?” “Little bit,” He reached over and twisted one of the dials blindly, warm air suddenly washing over your goosebump covered legs, “better?” “So much, thanks.” “I think he might be following us,” “You did tell them we were going to mine, s’pose he’ll be trying to grab a couple of shots of us there.” “Yeah, probably.” “Should we come up with another game plan? Maybe you walk me to my door, we stand there talking for a bit, saying goodbye. I stay and watch you leave before I go inside.” “Perfect. Is another kiss part of the goodbye?” “Careful Ben, you sound almost like you want to kiss me,” you laughed, “but yes, think it needs to be.”

It went completely according to plan. By the time you were getting out of the car the photographer had pulled up outside your house, his camera sticking out the window of his car so he didn’t miss his shot. The camera clicked as Ben took your hand and you led him to your door. “Well, guess that’s it for today. I did have fun with you last night, even if it wasn’t the kind of fun everyone else will think it was.” “Yeah, me too. Happy to have you stay anytime you want to be photographed again. Maybe we’ll get you some PJs that can live at mine though.” “Probably for the best. If this goes well I can see them wanting us to do it again soon.” “Oh definitely. They’ll probably have notes for us so we can get an even better performance next time. You ready to wow them with another kiss?” “Lay it on me, babe,” “Anything you want, snookums,” You groaned but before you could protest too much Ben was kissing you again, softer than before, no longer trying to convince you to stay, just trying to prolong the moment before the goodbye. It left you a little breathless as he cupped your cheek, leaving his hand there when he pulled away. As you opened your eyes you saw him bite his lip and then he leaned in to leave you with a final chaste peck before his fingers slipped from your skin and he was walking away. You let out a long exhale as you watched him go, waving as the car took off. Once you were alone inside, the door firmly shut behind you, you laughed at how ridiculous the whole arrangement was. But at least Ben was a good kisser. Not too firm, not too wet, just the right amount of tongue. Believable enough to give you butterflies.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ahhhh #this was fun #i hope ya'll like it

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clarkgriffon · 5 years

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tagged by @supernovablake @montygreen :D

rules: Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. don’t cheat. tag 10 (or however many) peeps.

my shows:

1. the 100

2. the good place

3. cloak and dagger

4. OUAT

5. stranger things

questions:

1. who is your favorite character in 2?

— chidi!! eleanor is a close second, but everything about chidi is such a mood. eleanor is a mood in a different way- like who i wish and aspire to be, chidi is the mood of the eternally anxious.

2. who is your least favorite character in 1?

— i mean, e/cho, we been knew.

3. what is your favorite episode of 4?

— OOF. Favorite episode of Cloak and Dagger? maybe B sides. It was ridiculously good, and we got to see ty and tandy live so many lives. B sides or (and I’m blanking on the name) the one very soon before the S2 finale where Tandy fights her dad and Ty fights himself and they switch partners? Iconic.

4. what is your favorite season of 5?

— definitely S1. it’s just incomparable to 2 and 3. 2 and 3 are good, especially 3 I enjoyed, but S1 is just on another level for ST.

5. who is your favorite couple in 3?

— TYRONDY TYRONDY TYRONDY

6. who is your favorite couple in 2?

— Cheleanor, but second favorite is Janet x Jason.

7. what is your favorite episode in 1?

— probably I Am Become Death (1x10). It’s just a classic and Season 1 is my favorite season. S6 has been so good, though, that I’d say 6x09 is edging it’s way into second place.

8. what is your favorite episode of 5?

— i don’t remember episodes well off the top of my head for this show because i binge it but the one where el saves mike from falling off the cliff is a good one. the s3 finale was great too.

9. what is your favorite season of 2?

— season 1 probably. like i said, i’m a ho for an origin story. s2 is not as good, s3 is really good again, but s1 is my fave.

10. how long have you watched 1?

— since the hiatus between s4 and 5. i started RIGHT when s4 ended.

11. how did you become interested in 3?

— being in the t100 fandom and following a bunch of multifandom blogs, i saw a lot of bellarkes freaking out about tyrondy and decided, what the hay, i’ll give it a try. glad i did.

12. who is your favorite actor in 4?

— Jennifer Morrison. jmo has a hold on my heart, but i loooove josh, ginny, and colin too.

13. which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

—though i wish i didn’t, i gotta with 1. it has a death grip on me and won’t let go. i wish i could like TGP or ST better, but man, the 100 is 3/4 of my personality at this point.

14. which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?

— 1, just out of sheer episode count.

15. if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

— i was going to say emma swan because light magic fuck yeah, but she’s lived kind of a hard life. you know what, how about david. he grew up on a farm being a shepherd, then got to be a royal, then found true love. sounds like a pretty charmed life to me.

16. would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

— oof? okay. well C&D is part of the MCU, right? So, in the MCU, there’s the town of storybrooke, originated from the fairytales we read about. nick fury stumbles upon storybrooke somehow and needs someone to tackle the problem/get a read on the situation. ty and tandy have just left new orleans for their “make the world better” mission at the end of S2, and this is their first assignment, checking out storybrooke. we follow the misadventure of Tyrondy trying to figure out what storybrooke’s deal is while the storybrooke citizens desperately try to hide their magic and go “what the fuck are these random teens doing here???” just realized this said would it work not HOW would it work oh well im not changing it

17. pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple

— i’ve always thought a good one would be monty and clarke. they’re very like-minded people (which is perhaps why that can’t work) in terms of their morals, their level-headedness, and their brains. they both make up two of my OTPs (marper and bellarke), so i could never actively ship it, but like... they’d be good together.

18. overall, which story has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

— i think cloak and dagger? it has a clear purpose, clear villains, it knows where it’s going. ST I think stalled out a little after S1- they didn’t know where to go or how to expand on being a retro horror show.

19. which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

—gotta go with OUAT on this. I love the musical cues in TGP, but OUAT has one of my favorite soundtracks of all time.

tagging @talistheintrovert @fen-ha-fuck-you @clarkegriffinlovebot @hostagetakerandhistraitor @nvermindiseeyou to do this if they want to <3

#tag game

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skamfairy · 6 years

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - thoughts after reading it for the first time

oh my god it’s come to this. we made it. WE ARE HERE. at the end. im emotional. shsajhahjs THATS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. This whole book has left me so emotionally drained but not in a bad way. it made me feel so so so much and change everything and i’m just shjjhsahjas I GOT A LOT OF THOUGHTS but i’m also worried i’ll forget things cos i took a long time to read this and a lot happened so ashjashjas let’s see how i go (i really should have kept notes as i read but i’m chaotic and it’s too late sajsahj i’ll do that if i ever review a book on here again)

THIS IS SO LONG so if you read all of this then sajhsajha wow you must really love me or harry, or both sdhjasjhahjssajh 💖

ALRIGHT lets start with dudley!! it feels like years ago now but when he actually showed feelings towards harry it was soooo good and unexpected and i really really loved that choice. like showing that he’s not a villain or anything and that he does actually care for harry despite being such a brat his whole life sahjsahj idk it made me remember that he’s just a kid too who was also raised by the dursley’s you know? anyway i loved it and i’m hoping harry and him do sorta keep in touch.

this also feels like a big part of the theme in this series i want to touch on. I feel like instead of villainising characters straight up, we sorta get to see that when you are shown nothing but cruelty and disrespect then they are the traits you will only know as you grow and it’s really sad but also creates incredible empathy and understanding in the reader when you see characters like draco and dudley kinda follow what their parents teach them. and then when you get that reminder with both characters that that’s not really them and once they begin to think for themselves or get shown something else they can finally branch away from that and be who they really are. That’s what i love so much in this series! being able to see that they aren’t evil or bad they’ve just been taught shitty behaviour and they can change once they follow their own beliefs and not those of their parents.

i also had a slight critique about slytherin’s potrayal here shjashj but i deleted it cos i felt like i ranted more than i should ashjashj but basically i just felt like there was sooooo much anti-slytherin content in the series but i got it cos i figured it was all building up to a big SLYTHERINS ARE GOOD TOO LETS BE FRIENDS moment and i mean i wasn’t wrong? we got that sorta, in the end when harry talked to his son and told him that slytherins are cool too, although the example was snape jhsjhsa. but yeah i think after all that i was expecting something more idk. especially cos i found it weird that not a single slytherin was in dumbledores army or fought on the order of phoenix side in the battle. like they all just left! but idk maybe i’m too new to hp to understand sahjsahj i just thought at least a couple slytherins would fight just to show that not all of them are bad but maybe they were scared cos of voldemort’s ties to the house shjashj sorry this still turned into a bit of a rant but i’m not like annoyed just surprised. imagine a character who was in the squad but they were slytherin sjhasjh

ANYWAY back on track shjasjhas

hedwig dying broke my god damn heart

IM CRYING remember when fred and george got turned into harry’s and they turned to each other and said in sync “WOW WE’RE IDENTICAL!” im sorry i just flicked to that page by accident to remember what to discuss next and that just made me laugh again im sahjahjhjsa

SO I GUESS THAT MEANS IT’S TIME TO TALK ABOUT FRED AND GEORGE. okay yes so they are two of my fave characters EVER not just in hp but in anything i’ve ever read or watched. they bring me so much laughter and happiness and while reading this series, when i was feeling down and i needed something to get my mind of things, i would read hp. but every single time a line from fred or george came up, it would make me feel SO much joy and i can’t express how much they both helped me and brought light into my life while reading this series. and they’ll always hold a special place in my heart. i’m so thankful for this series because it introduced me to some of the most beautiful characters i’ve ever met. and fred and george are two of them. They showed how much you can give and help in such a horrible situation, just by giving people something to laugh about and that was so so so incredible to read. to see that you don’t have to be super brainy like hermione or strong or brave like ron and harry to be important and a hero. bringing light and laughter in people’s lives during a dark time is just as heroic and meaningful as anything else and i love that fred and george represented that power. (but also they had everything else too sajashjhjas) anyway i really love them. and i remember while reading this book, fred pulled the same joke he did when we first saw him in book one and it made me emotional because we have come so far and he’s still just as warm and joyful as he was 7 years ago. losing him was the worst thing in the whole series, not worst in the sense that it didn’t make sense or anything because it did and i’m glad i could feel soooo much but it was the worst thing by it hurting the worst for me personally and ishjajhashjsa im never gonna get over it. everytime i think about it i cry like i am now dammit sdhjsahjajh SO LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT

oh my god one of the things that broke my heart early on wasn’t even a death but hermione erasing herself from her parents minds to protect them???? That’s absolutely heartbreaking and sad and i love her so much. she is so clever but also so caring and brilliant and she does whatever she needs to and it’s just fucking hell it was so sad and i just hope it all worked out and she was able to undo it cos i’m really stressing about it i don’t want her to lose her parents :(( and they love her so much like we never got to see them much but i remember in the second book how supportive they were even tho it was so out of their element and scary they were just happy for their daughter and GAH I’M EMOTIONAL anyway i love hermione so much, moving on.

Ron and harry fighting??? MADE ME AGE A THOUSAND YEARS OUT OF STRESS AND PAIN that’s the worst, i hate it. i hate it when they fight. it breaks my heart because you know how much ron means to harry. he’s his number one, he’s his family, his best friend, the first person to ever love him and show him loyalty and love and what it’s like to have a brother who loves you like sahajshhjas IM SORRY ONE OF MY FAVE THINGS IN THIS WHOLE SERIES IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP 100% they mean everything to me. Ron is so insecure because he constantly feels like he’s in harry’s shadow but what he doesn’t realise is that when it comes to harry, everyone else is in his shadow because ron is the most important person to him. i mean don’t get me wrong they love hermione too ashjsahjahj but like ron and harry <3 it’s special they need each other im super asjhhajs im sorry im so passionate about their friendship and chosen family it means so much to me. like i hated it when they fought in goblet of fire and THEN I HAD TO GO THROUGH IT AGAIN??? but the scene where they made up literally made me cry and scream in happiness i love them so much i don’t want them to ever not be in each others lives.

honestly i like ron and hermione! idk if that’s unpopular or what but i feel like they do make sense and their relationship was actually built up based on actual connection and years of developing.....unlike some people who never even talked and then woke up and suddenly were in love for no reason *cough*

TIME TO TALK ABOUT SAD THINGS AGAIN! dobby dying was absolutely horrible that whole chapter was SO DARK and scary and i was actually genuinely frightened for the first time in the series i was so so so scared it was horrible and then dobby came like an angel and saved the day and then he was just....gone??? it was so unfair and so sad and just i hate it so much i can’t comprehend it. he was a free elf! he didn’t deserve this. no one deserved this. that’s what was so tragic about the deaths in this series and it’s what makes everything so real. im so sad god dammit let me find something less sad to talk about again.

HARRY IS THE DESCENDANT OF THE BROTHER WHO CHOSE THE INVISIBILITY CLOAK FROM THE DEATHLY HALLOW STORY!!!! ahhhhh im so happy i love that harry is related to something so cool and ahhhhhhhh it’s honestly so good and exciting how everything came together naturally like that. and CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?? like how he literally went from saying he would choose the ressurrection stone, to in the end, just leaving it in the middle of the forest? im so proud of him he breaks my heart and i just wanna protect him forever i’ve never loved someone so much like ashjsajhsa i need to stop but seriously, harry is my absolute everything i love this god damn kid help.

speaking of people who love harry.... jhsjhassjjas i really really love draco. like i feel so protective of this kid? i want to know more more more about him and i want to help him and go back in time and keep him away from all that bullshit dark stuff i can’t wait to read all the fics that analyse him because i know he’s actually a genuine good? i feel like he is. his parents let him down and he didn’t have any healthy relationships in his life to help him see another side of things even tho i know and really feel like if he did, things would have been different. he was just a kid and you could see he didn’t want this he hated it, he was so scared and alone and sahjsahjhjsa IM SORRY I LOVE HIM

OKay can i just roast voldemort for a sec by saying, he is TERRIBLE at researching plans before execution and thinking through things like he acted like a silly egotistic child im so. how did the death eaters take him seriously? i don’t understand OKAY YES I KNOW HE HAS SO MUCH POWER but pfft he kept taking snapes credit for killing dumbles. but then it turned out dumbles asked snape to anyway so like sjshjjhsa and harry roasted him with that himself. i love that kid. anyway yeah i can’t wait to make voldemort memes forever this dude is so sjsajasjkajsk i hate him but also enjoy hating him.

Remus and tonks :((( im so sad i love lupin so much it’s not fair but also now teddy is an orphan after a war just like harry and now harry is the godfather to teddy just like sirius was to him :(( im emotional.

MOLLY SLAYED BELLATRIX I LOVE HER “NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!” jhsdjhsjhsdj queen

okay okay okay finally i’ll address the thing that MESSED ME UP oh my god sajhhjashjsa so i have been complaining for ageeeees that i want LILY! BACKSTORY! and when i didn’t get it in half blood prince i was devastated sahjsahjjhsa and i figured it was never going to happen and then when i least expected it I GET ACTUAL LILY BACKSTORY CONTENT from the man i have been roasting and hating since book one im sahjshajhjas the irony kills me. anyway lily was just as amazing as i thought she was. i love her so much she’s so beautiful and kind and loyal and compassionate. she’s everything <3 and honestly i was actually able to empathise with snape? their friendship was so pure and sweet and i can’t believe he was her best friend in hogwarts this whole time. it’s really sad how he let himself be drawn to dark magic because she was never going to give up on him. him being drawn to that magic, and calling her a slur was what pushed her away and also brought her closer to james so, thanks for helping harry be born mate ashjjhas idk it’s sad and i empathise with snape now and now i can understand things i couldn’t before. LIKE EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW. it’s like the missing piece has been found and i can see everything with new eyes it’s insane. and i remember seeing something about obsessive love in half blood prince and guessing that it was foreshadowing something and i think this is it. it’s just sad :(( and he actually was on dumbledores side im so sahjsahjhjas this whole thing was such a mindfuck idk what to think. but yeah i do emphasise with snape. do i like him now? no 🙈 sorry BUT i can understand him better and his character intrigues me it’s just really sad but he’s still an adult who bullies children. and daaaamn he hated harry, lucky for us he loved lily more than voldemort tho whoop i’m pretty sure my older sister loves snape tho so maybe i’m being too harsh idk

HARRY WAS A HORCRUX??? i can’t that was epic and such a shock what in the world. i’m so happy how things turned out but holy shit that was insane. yet it made so much sense im so sjjshahjas

oh i love luna ashjahjshjas just gotta say that she’s my everything <3

NEVILLE I LOVE NEVILLE HIM KILLING THE SNAKE WAS ICONIC !!!!! im so so so happy it was him. i love him so much he really showed how much bravery and potential he has i love this kid.

okay so hands down the Kings Cross chapter was one of the best chapters in this whole series. seeing dumbledore finally tell us everything and getting to hear and see his mistakes and flaws and his truth was so so so emotional for me and it felt like final closure. im so dhjahjhja the way it was written!!! just all of it every single bit of it made me feel something and OPEN AT THE CLOSE im asjhhjsahjas ofc im just god the whole thing was sooooo jhsjhasjhas THE FEELINGS im sorry im not at all articulate when it comes to this im just the whole thing played in my head so well and i still have chills just from thinking about it i really don’t want this to end :((

finally the ending, im surprised that harry married ginny (i mean i guess not surprised cos he’s her love interest, maybe just jahsjhsasahj indifferent?) but im happy that we got to see him happy and again i love that he told albus it didn’t matter if he was in slytherin cos slytherins are cool too jsshjahjsa that was so important. ALSO draco!!! they nodded 👀 also shjsahja luna and george weren’t mentione :((

OH MY GOD I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT HOW MUCH NOSTALGIA I GOT IN SNAPES MEMORY WHEN WE SAW JAMES AND SIRIUS FIRST BECOME FRIENDS ON THE TRAIN IT MADE ME THINK OF THE FIRST BOOK IM EMOTIONAL

Now i just want to say i genuinely love harry so so so much. he’s sassy and brave and selfless and caring and he has so much anger and frustration but that never stops him from doing what he can to help people and it just :(( he deserved a happy, free and loving childhood. i love this boy with all my heart and i always will im so thankful i finally let myself actually read his story.

This series brought me so much laughter, wonder, tears, pain and magic. i’m so so so happy i finally read it sahjsajh despite avoiding and judging it my whole life lmao i was so wrong about it and this series has made me fall deeply in love with every single character and now im obsessed shjashjhjas LIKE I LITERALLY CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT i can’t im so asjhashj

im actually obsessed with harry potter i didn’t think this would ever happen to me. thank you for taking this journey with me angels 💖

anyway now i got 8(?) movies to watch for the first time sahjashashj stay tuned 💖

#Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows #mikki reads hp for the first time #book review #hp #i plan on making recap/reviews for the movies as i watch them so ashjsajhsaj stay tuned for that nonsense #i'm like a cockroach #it never ends with me sahjahsjhasj

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moved-to-femmesun-blog · 5 years

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all the lgbt asks :+)

fuck you.

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?transmasc (technically genderfluid but i’m very much transmasc) + he/him and ae/aem/aer

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?idk. i just never rlly liked girls. didn’t really care much for dating at all but i was def more attracted to guys, and so i ID’d as mlm for most of middle school to high school. now i lean more towards bi - and ID as bi - but i still use mlm for myself.

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?hahah yeah. even when i was going by “Benjamin” back in high school i was constantly misgendered. i just dealt with it. was too much of a pushover to say anything so i just ignored it kdnsknaksnd

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?some guy i was friends with that who obviously liked me. he took it pretty well, told me to tell my friend if i really wanted.

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?i was impulsive and so i just. did it. i don’t really remember much about it - it didn’t feel that significant to me because i was SO disconnected from gender and identity, and i also just don’t remember small details well.

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?parents just. took it well ig. made an effort to use the name i wanted, were supportive enough. mum’s done more research than my step dad has - he thinks he can say the q slur lol - and was there along side me for a lot of my transition progress, but overall they’ve both been okay. at least with the binary stuff. i’m not open to them about my sexuality or the indepth details of my identity, aka my new pronouns and name - so it kinda sucks - but overall it was pretty good. friends were okay about it, had a few name hiccups with them using “em” for me instead of emmett (which i was going as at the time) but *shrug*

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?no one ever asks me shit KDNSKNDkdn and tbh i don’t think anything would bother me? unless the person is being an asshole about it, i’m really open to answering questions.

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.i don’t really know what Style i have but like, lately i’ve gone back to just wearings leggings, big jackets, and then tank tops/my croptop. i used to be rlly rlly anal about like, Presenting As Male, and tbh i was really uncomfortable during that time. being overweight, i just felt ugly and gross and clunky. and so i’m glad i’ve gone back to wearing more fem stuff bc like. it fits me better, i love and feel better, and i have more options.

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?uhhh for bnha i’d say my faves right now are: bakukami/bakukirikami, kamisero, todoiida, iiseroyama, and then minamomojirou.

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?i’ve never been one to wear make up. the furthest i ever went was using BB cream and then nail polish, and i haven’t used BB cream in years. i own One bottle of nail polish now and it’s this clear stuff with gold glitter chunks in it.

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?not... really? i USED to big time. but now i’ve just mellowed out since shifting towards nonbinary/genderfluid and stuff. back when i was Set on being “100% FTM” i was super dysphoric. i just hated hearing she/her pronouns, and that’s really the only time i get dysphoric now - and when people call me a girl, but y’know dknskndd - and so... most of the time i’m good. i’m on T (have been for 2 years, though i havent been taking it lately due to complications with my endo clinic - and i’m almost a year and a half past getting top surgery - which im happy w/ bc i had a huge chest, though i do sometimes miss my boobs - and so i’m pretty good!

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?there are SO many dumb things i’ve heard over the years of being on tumblr/online/at public high school, so i don’t know how to give this just ONE answer dknsandnknds

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?the “i can’t read/drive/do math” jokes bc i’m gay

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?i could say a lot of things here but i do NOT wanna risk starting any shit so KDNSKNDSKND

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?i’ve been to pride as part of my school’s team for the parade once! i haven’t gone since just bc i don’t really have anyone in my city i’d like to go with

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?i’m REALLY disconnected from celebrities... i really can’t answer thiskNDksnd

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?a bunch! currently i have two boyfriends and i met both of them through bnha discord servers - specifically rp servers KDNSKDNSKNd

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?i can’t read! (i genuinely can’t remember the names of any gay books i’ve read so SOBS)

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?yup! i’ve been called slurs in public, had people obviously try and figure out my gender - fun fact: one time a guy very obvious leaned over at me as i passed by to try and look down my sweater to check my chest B) - uhhh misgendering on purpose. nothing physical yet thankfully, but y’know.

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?i am LOVING carole and tuesday rn im ngl KDNSKND

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?all my mutuals ;)

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?q slur, that’s all i can claim KDNSkdn i’ll use it when i know the people around me are comfortable seeing/hearing it but otherwise i just keep it to “q slur”

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?nope. almost did once - this dude in my city wanted to take me, and at the time we were friends and i had a crush on him, and we would’ve had a uh. fling. if we’d gone - but never did end up going. shit happens KDNSKND

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?idk i’m just like. i’m a dude - i’m NOT a girl, 100% not a girl - but at the same time, i’m not a dude? i’m not agender but it’s like... i’m just SO disconnected from the idea of having a gender but i’m super comfortable ID’ing as a guy because i find comfort it in (and in being able to say things like Yeah I’m Transmac and Yeah I’m MLM) but really it’s just. a big blur. i shift between being a Dude and then being Kind Of A Dude and then Not Being Anything and then Being ??? so yeah kdsnkdn

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?nope. trauma fucked me up and i don’t wanna ever risk putting a child through anything. i wouldn’t be able to handle parenting a child. if ANYTHING i’d adopt an older kid, early/late teens, but idk.

What identity advice would you give your younger self?you don’t have to MAKE sure every one knows you’re a Dude. you don’t HAVE to pass at male. you feel so much more uncomfortable when you confuse people about your gender, when you wear want you want and what you feel comfortable wearing. you’re gonna hate looking back on yourself in a couple years because you’ll realize just how caught up you got in toxic masculinity, but it gets better. you get more comfortable being You and doing what You Want, and you’ll find people who accept that more than your current friends ever could. it gets better. you get better.

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?*throws them out the window*

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?toxic masculinity is a BITCH and i wishhhh that i’d had more understanding friends. there’s something just so sad and... weird... about the idea of FORCING yourself to have to “pass” at all times - when “passing” is a dumb enough concept itself - but idk. i learnt a lot from it, even if it sucked.

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?it really isn’t easy. every day you’re dealing with stuff, from yourself and from other people, so let us have our jokes. let us have our pride. let us be loud about who we are.

Why are proud to be lgbt+?cause it means i’m not cishet LOLif you read through all of this: why? why do that to yourselfkNDKSNd

#bipolys #ask #ask games #fuck you chasekndksndskndkn #pride

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soraenun-archive · 2 years

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No can do! We are all here to celebrate (& help) you Shannon. There will not be a moment where you're wrong. And if you happen to miss something, clues will be given to you ;) You'll always win bestie :D

I'm so 🥺 that you took the time to listen to the songs I recommended. And it's totally normal and okay to not like certain songs. We all have our own taste in music ^^

Amélie is indeed one of my favourite movies of all time (so great guess!) but I was talking about azur & asmar (a french animated movie by michel ocelot : a masterpiece!) . As for the disney/pixar movie question, let me give you two little clues: BOO & a lot of doors!!! I think this will help you, or at least if I'm still good at giving clues hehe

Of course 🥺 If I make a promise, I try my hardest to complete it. In fact, you gave a few of my favorite elo songs in your answer. While waiting for your answer, I had the time to finish listening to his entire discography. Rose, angel, cupcake, lip service, falling dreams & can't be happy are my fave elo songs <3 We must really have the same taste in music if you had so many correct answers wow I'm impressed!

If I'm being honest, I'm not a sone </3 I know I know, this must come as a shock to a lot of people but I started my kpop experience with f(x) and I was so focused on them that I didn't dive into snsd's music :/ But you still got the correct answer because the other groups mentioned are a part of my fave 2nd gen ggs. Other answers I would've accepted are t-ara & 4minute :)

Well, ladies and gentlemen, tonight's the last show of the shannon game (disappointed oh's can be heard) but alas, there is an end to every good thing. But, worry not! it is for a good cause :D I will finally reveal myself to shannon! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M SO NERVOUS!!!

Tonight, there will only be one question, but it is a very important one (drumrolls)

Question #10: How would you describe our friendship?

Folks! That's it! That's the end of the Shannon game :( It was a pleasure being with you for this long and I'd like to thank Shannon for being such a good sport and taking the time to answer those questions. One more time, let's give a round of applause to Shannon (clap clap clap)

Ilu & please take care <3

from 🐘💌 anon

thank you for rigging the game so i can never lose i really appreciate it <3 it would be pretty bad to lose a game that was literally named after me

of course!! i always enjoy a good music rec and i had a lot of fun listening to them even if they weren't all my taste i still enjoyed it since i knew they were songs you liked 💞

oo okay yeah you’re right i have never heard of that!! but it sounds really interesting and it seems to be a pretty popular film and it won a lot of awards and stuff so maybe i will have to watch it sometime!! okay you are way too generous with your clues! you basically gave me the answer but i will accept it because i would have had no idea without that! (it would be funny if i was still wrong but i think i'm right) monsters inc is an excellent choice!! it’s such a cute movie 🥺 idk if i have a favourite disney/pixar movie but monsters inc is a really good one!

wow i can't believe i guessed so many of your favourites either but we really do have similar taste!! can't be happy is one of my favs as well his new album is really good!! i really appreciate you checking out his music and i'm glad you found some songs you really like <3

ohh i really thought you liked snsd because i’m sure i have seen you reblog some taeyeon posts before but are you more just a fan of her rather than snsd? but i’m glad i still got a couple answers right then i can’t be too disappointed <3

aww no im so sad the game is over :( but i’m very excited for the big reveal !! oh this is kind of hard because i’m not very good with words but i think our friendship is like when u meet up with an old friend and it’s like no time has passed and you just pick up where you left off and catch up! sometimes a few days or weeks may pass between our messages but it feels like no time at all… and we have a lot in common so it feels very familiar and comfortable but also we share lots of new things with each other too!! genuinely your messages are a huge comfort and your warm and kind personality always comes through <3 they really do make my day! 💗💕

thank u so much it has been an honour !! i had so much fun playing <3 love u too bestie i will be looking forward to your big reveal !! 💓

#🐘💌#anonymous #💌

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danfanciesphil · 6 years

Text

Give Me A Try (New Chapter)

Gay Instagram Model/Bartender Phan AU Part 3

(Part One)

(Part Two)

(Read on Ao3!)

Dan’s in the middle of his break, scrolling through his phone, when a text notification appears at the top of his screen. He drops his bagel into his lap, cursing.

The text is from Phil. He doesn’t know any other Phil’s, so it has to be AmazingPhil, texting him, inexplicably.

He clicks the notification, eyes wide, simultaneously scooping up the bagel bits that have fallen onto his knees.

From: Phil To: Dan im in makeup for a weird photoshoot for some korean clothing brand and they just put loads of silver goo in my hair to make it chromey

As Dan is reading the message, searching between the lines for a reason Phil might be telling him this information, another text pings through.

From: Phil To: Dan whoops, i kinda meant to send that to PJ. but hey, if you’re interested, here’s a pic of me with ‘Kpop Idol Silver Hair Paste’ in lol xx

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

The phone slips from Dan’s fingers, clattering through his legs to the floor of the staff room. Phil has sent him a selfie. An un-edited, un-Instagrammed photo of his breathtaking face, up close. Sure, there’s a weird silvery goop in his usually raven hair, but still. Gingerly, Dan retrieves the phone, a small, strangled sound escaping from his throat as he surveys the image in front of him.

It makes a little more sense now that Phil has informed him that he had actually mistakenly texted the original message, but did the guy really have to follow up with a photo? He must, surely, be aware of Dan’s crush. He witnessed the brunt of Dan’s obsessive stalking in person on his phone, after all.

Bagel entirely forgotten, Dan just stares down into the pixelated blue of Phil Lester’s eyes, wondering how to respond, and if he even should. Deciding eventually that it would be rude not to, Dan shakily types out something he hopes is vaguely witty.

From: Dan To: Phil hahaha wow :’) kpop? more like kpoop. (it looks like bird poop, sorry dude.) x

From: Phil To: Dan hahaha it does ur so right. and if you think thats bad you should see the outfits… xx

Settling back into his chair, Dan bites his lip. As he thinks of a potential response, his eyes wander over to the spot, just to the right of him, where he and Phil had stood not long ago, when it had seemed like maybe, possibly, Phil might’ve…

But obviously that’s absurd.

Dan’s wishful thinking had clearly driven him to the point of hallucination, because the very notion that Phil Lester, AmazingPhil, the famous Instagram model, would ever have looked at Dan as anything more than a random bartender, is laughable.

Dan sighs to himself, then smirks. Well, just because he has no chance, doesn’t mean he can’t utilise his semi-connection to the celebrity to get some behind-the-scenes footage of his fave.

From: Dan To: Phil well now i have to see x

There’s a noticeable pause, and Dan wonders, panicking vaguely, if he may have pushed too far. Is it a little much to ask this of Phil? Maybe he just won’t respond, and Dan will have to quit his job forever, or maybe just spend his shifts on red alert that Phil will wander into the bar, and hide from him if he does-

He texts back.

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

From: Phil To: Dan hot, right? xx

For two long, uninterrupted minutes, Dan is frozen. Then, he lets out a muffled groan of frustration. The photo Phil sent is a full body shot taken by someone else; he’s dressed in an asymmetrical long white t-shirt with several long rips through the chest, some bright pink camouflage trousers, and a shiny silver puffer jacket with a black fur-lined hood. The outfit is a complete disaster, but it doesn’t matter in the slightest. His chest is visible through the slits in the tee; having seen it twice now IRL, Dan is drawn to the slivers he can see. The trousers make his eyes pop, and the jacket matches the silver streaked through his hair.

His pose is casual, feet apart, smirking at the camera, with his hands gesturing to his body as if to say ‘see what i mean?’. If he’d posted this on his Instagram, Dan gets the feeling he’d have saved it to his camera roll anyway, maybe even made it his phone background.

Dan’s done that with a few of his favourite photos of Phil in the past. He won’t even dwell on the time when Phil posted a photo of himself in the bath and Dan, in a semi-sleep-deprived fit of insanity, printed the photo out and stuck it on his wall.

Tyler came over once, weeks later, saw the photo taped above Dan’s bed, and tore the thing down. He’d told Dan, quite rightly, to stop being such a creep and keep his crazed obsessive behaviour to social media like everyone else.

“Who even has physical photos these days?? You’re like a fucking serial killer!”

Dan chuckles at this memory. He’s glad for Tyler, sometimes, even if he’s only good for keeping Dan’s stalkerish behaviour within the realms of normalcy.

Belatedly, he realises it’s been over five minutes and he still hasn’t responded to Phil. Also, his break is close to being over.

From: Dan To: Phil woww. please, phil of the future, tell me what life is like in 2087 x

From: Phil To: Dan stawwp. i keep laughing out loud at what ur saying and now the designer is sending me death glares :’’’D xx

Trying hard to ignore the fact that his dorky jokes are apparently literally making Phil ‘lol’, Dan checks the time, and sighs, typing out another message.

From: Dan To: Phil is the designer a martian? or maybe secretly one of those reptile-people? maybe skin him just to be safe. also my break is over so i gtg. have fun on set of NASA’s moonlanding recreation x

From: Phil To: Dan aww ur at work too? that sux. i forgot that u work at night lol. hope u stay dry this evening ;) xx

From: Dan To: Phil speaking of… why are u at work? isnt it kind of late for a photoshoot? x

From: Phil To: Dan well its 8am here so no haha xx

From: Dan To: Phil where are you? x

From: Phil To: Dan seoul :) hence the… unusual fashion lol xx

Dan’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. He stands from his chair, throws his half eaten bagel in the trash, and looks around himself. He’s in the staff room - a small, dusty space with a row of falling apart lockers, a couple of chairs and a small table. There’s a hook on the wall which holds a load of unused aprons, and a rusty heater for when it’s especially cold.

He’s about to go back out to serve a load of rowdy customers some overpriced cocktails, then mop a dancefloor sticky with sweat, alcohol, and whatever other liquids might have found their way there. Then, he’s going to go back to his crummy flat way across in Kemptown, unfold his sofabed, and fall asleep to Netflix.

Phil, on the other side of the world in Korea, is having his hair, makeup and wardrobe done by professionals. He’s being treated like a celebrity, no doubt, and pampered excessively. Later, he’ll receive high-definition, professional photographs of himself looking gorgeous, and post them to his Instagram, where millions of people will tell him how stunning he looks.

Dan sighs to himself. How the other half lives.

The following day, Dan wakes up to find that Phil has updated his Instagram story, and posted the photo with the silver goo in his hair. The same one he’d sent to Dan. The caption reads:

Not sure silver hair was a good idea! The designer was going for Kpop, but ended up with Kpoop… can’t wait to show you guys the photos from this shoot! xx

Two things cross Dan’s mind.

First, Dan can now officially state that he had a sneak-peek at an official AmazingPhil photo before it was posted.

Second, the bitch totally stole his joke.

He smiles to himself ruefully, then decides to leave a comment. There’s no way that Phil will even see it - he’s never seen any of Dan’s others, or at least Dan sincerely hopes he hasn’t, as they’re mostly things like ‘choke me’ or ‘slap me round the face with your yaoi hands dad’.

Okay, maybe he tends to leave those sorts of comments when he’s less than sober.

This time, Dan just taps out a simple:

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

Still smiling to himself, Dan rolls over onto his side, and settles in to watch Phil’s story. The stories are usually long, silly, and full of adorable clips of Phil being clumsy and cute. As expected, this one is no exception. It’s a tour of Phil’s hotel room in Seoul, which is very posh.

Phil exclaims over the origami hand towels on his bed, the robe provided for him in the wardrobe, and the multiple options on the ‘disco shower’ as he calls it. Just as Dan is marvelling at the panoramic shot Phil has filmed of his view from the balcony, a notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil replied to your comment: joke stealing is…

Dan sits bolt upright in bed, the sheets falling off him. He runs a hand through his messy hair, eyes wide. He clicks the notification before it disappears, heart pounding.

Oh no, oh no, oh no. Dan hadn’t intended for him to actually see. What if Phil thinks he’s being rude? He doesn’t actually mind Phil stealing his stupid joke about the hair goo. It’s an honour, if anything, that Phil finds his dumb joke good enough to post as a caption millions of people will read.

Heart thrumming, Dan finds the response Phil left.

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

amazingphil: @danisnotonfire aha i was kinda hoping you wouldn’t see ;D

Another notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil started following you

“Holy shit,” Dan says to nobody.

amazingphil liked your photo

“Fuck,” Dan squeaks, clutching his pillow for support. “Stop it Phil, I’m gonna have a heart attack.”

Curious, Dan clicks the last notification, wondering which photo it was that Phil pressed the little heart for. To his surprise, it’s a selfie, one he took at work around a month ago. He took it during a lull between serving, if he remembers correctly. The lighting hadn’t been awful when he was doing his hourly fringe check in his phone camera, so he’d snapped a pic. It’s nothing special, just a moody expression and a wash of pink lighting across one half of his face.

amazingphil commented on your photo

amazingphil: nice pout ;) xx

Dan falls back into the pillows, mind obliterating itself into a thousand, tiny pieces.

Over the next few weeks, Dan has several text conversations with Phil. They’re usually started by Phil himself, who will - out of what Dan assumes is boredom - sometimes send him a random meme, a musing about his surroundings, or a selfie. For obvious reasons, Dan prefers the latter.

No matter how many times Phil reaches out via text, the surreality of it never fails to send Dan’s mind freewheeling. It always knocks the wind out of his lungs, it always makes him stop dead in his tracks, and it always leaves him struggling to recover for the next few hours. Whenever this happens at work, Tyler never fails to tease him mercilessly.

“Whoops! Please excuse him, sir, his mind has been blended by a single text from his crush,” Tyler tells a customer the fifth time Dan drops a glass behind the bar.

Dan scowls at his friend, but doesn’t try to defend himself. It’s true, after all. One text from Phil has him behaving like a moron. He becomes physically inept, unable to make the simplest drink.

One night, after the bar has closed, Dan and Tyler are cleaning up.

“So when’s he gonna stop torturing you over text and come sweep you off your beer-drenched tootsies?”

Dan rolls his eyes at this. “He’s not, Ty. He’s a rich and famous superstar, and I’m clearing up puke for the third day in a row.”

Dan wrinkles his nose as he continues mopping up the patch of vomit. He’s suspicious at this point; three days in a row is unusual. Is the same person coming in each night and spewing their guts all over the dance floor out of spite? Perhaps it’s some sort of hate crime.

“It’s like a Cinderella story!” Ty exclaims, pirouetting around his broom. “Except it’s gay, which makes it even better.”

Dan scoffs at him. “I’m pretty sure fairytales don’t involve stalking someone over social media and having them find out. He’s just taking pity on me because he saw that first night that I’m a fan.” Dan dunks the mop back in the bucket, turning to Tyler. “Besides, I’m pretty sure he has a boyfriend.”

Tyler sucks in a scandalised breath. “What! Who?”

Dragging the mop back to the supply closet, Dan laughs. “Remember the drunk guy he came with? The one who gave me a lovely Rainforest shower?”

“Him?”

Dan sighs, locks the cupboard, and nods. He digs into his pocket for his phone, and brings it over to show Tyler the photo of Phil and Charlie kissing. Matt, the security guard wanders over to see as well, letting out a low whistle.

“He’s a nonce if he thinks that guy’s behaviour was attractive,” Matt says. “He puked ‘soon as I got him out the door that night. All over the pavement.”

Dan looks at Matt, tilting his head in interest. “He did?”

Tyler plucks the phone out of Dan’s hand, zooming into the photo to have a better look, a frown on his face.

“Yep, your friend there came out, called him an Uber and sent him off,” Matt says. “Doubt pukey there would’ve made it home without him.”

“Nice guy,” Dan mutters, cheeks warm.

“This is staged,” Tyler announces abruptly.

“What?”

“Look,” he says, bringing the phone back over for Dan to see.

He zooms in on the crux of the kiss, right onto Phil’s face. Dan grimaces.

“Ty, I don’t want to see-”

“Shut up and look at his face,” Tyler interrupts, grabbing Dan’s chin and angling it towards the phone. “See how his lips are puckered? All stiff and pointed, like he’s kissing his grandma. And his eyes are open.”

“He’s looking at the camera!”

“Nah, Tyler’s right mate,” Matt says. The gum he’s chewing is making gross squishy sounds right in Dan’s ear as he leans over to look. “He looks awkward as hell.”

Dan narrows his eyes at the photo, trying to see what the others see.

“Besides, didn’t you say he hated that guy?” Tyler asks, clicking off the photo.

Dan tuts, snatching his phone back. “Well, apparently he was just being nice to compensate for the fact his kissing buddy covered me in sugary cocktail.”

He makes the smart decision to step away from this preposterous conversation before he does something stupid. Like allow either of these morons to give him hope that Phil is actually single.

Not that Phil being single would even matter.

“Or he was making it clear that he’s available!” Tyler calls after him as Dan stalks over to the staff room. “He whipped his shirt off for you twice and gave you his number. Do you think he’d do that if he had a boyfriend?”

“Drop it, Ty!” Dan calls back, shutting the staff room door behind him.

He will not let himself fall into the trap of daring to believe he could get someone as gorgeous, as hilarious, as pure and… amazing, as Phil Lester.

He won’t.

This is a good philosophy, in theory.

In practise, it turns out to be a lot more difficult. Dan finds this out to his cost when Phil strolls into Habenero the following Friday with Charlie Hickory at his side. Dan’s stomach sinks as soon as he sees the pair, the butterflies that appear each time Phil so much as acknowledges exploding into dust the moment he registers who Phil is here with.

Phil makes a beeline for the bar, a big smile on his face as he sees Dan. Warily, Dan smiles back, very aware that he is not exactly Charlie’s biggest fan.

“Dan!” Phil sings, chipper as ever.

Blushing already, Dan waves an awkward hand. He will never, he’s sure, get used to hearing his name on Phil Lester’s lips. “Hi. You’re back.”

“Of course! This is my local hangout now,” Phil says, winking. “Great cocktails, cute bar staff, crazy Bingo nights… this place has got it all.”

“Some people might not agree with you about the cocktails,” Dan can’t help himself saying, glancing at Charlie.

Charlie shuffles awkwardly on the spot. “Right,” he says, casting a look at Phil. They share a look that seems loaded with something Dan is not privy to, and then Charlie sighs, turning to Dan. “I wanted to, uh, apologise. About last time. Totally not cool of me to… tell you off like that. I was wasted.”

For an awkward moment, Dan waits for the actual word ‘sorry’ to leave Charlie’s mouth. It becomes obvious fairly swiftly that the dude feels he’s already said enough, so Dan just gives him a tight smile, and clears his throat.

“Oh, yeah man,” he says. “Let’s just… move on, I guess.”

If Charlie won’t say sorry, then Dan’s sure as hell not going to say he forgives him.

“So, drinks?” Phil asks, seeming to sense the taut atmosphere. “Maybe not cocktails?”

Dan can’t help the splutter of laughter, but Charlie shoots a dagger-like glare Phil’s way. It makes Dan’s lip curl; how could anyone be angry with Phil, of all people?

“Maybe some beers?” Dan suggests, teeth clenched. “We have a load of craft beers, or if you’re more into spirits I could make you guys a-”

“I’ll have a vodka and light tonic, no ice,” Charlie interrupts. “A double. If you use regular tonic, I will know.”

“Charlie,” Phil hisses under his breath.

They exchange another loaded look, and again Charlie sighs, turning to Dan with a fake smile. “Please.”

Swallowing the urge to roll his eyes, Dan nods, then gladly turns his attention to Phil. “And for you?”

“Oh,” Phil says, like it’s only just occurred to him that he needs to order as well. “God, I’m so bad at deciding, err…”

As he’s dithering, Charlie sighs. “Are you cool to get these, Phil? I’m gonna go find us a table.”

“You don’t wanna dance?”

“Not in the mood.”

Phil nods, obviously disappointed. “Okay, yeah, I’ll meet you in the back.”

With that, Charlie is gone, slipping into the crowd. The look of distaste must be more evident on Dan’s face than he thinks, because Phil laughs at it.

“I know,” Phil says. “But he does have a few… marginally amiable qualities.”

‘Why have you chosen to be with someone that’s marginally amiable when you’re so great,’ is what Dan wants to ask. Instead, he simply shrugs, deciding to change the subject.

“Have you decided on a drink yet? I’d better get on with making his low-cal dishwater.”

Phil laughs a little, then leans forwards, his smile deepening as he leans across the bar. “Surprise me.”

Something sparks a roman candle in Dan’s stomach, and his skin prickles with the heat it creates. He drags his eyes free of Phil’s with some difficulty, nodding, and turns to make the drinks.

He prepares Phil a ‘PopQueen’ cocktail, which is one of their most popular. It’s inspired by popcorn, along with the trio of Pop Queens that rule the gay music scene: Gaga, RiRi, and Bey. The moscato vodka base is made from Italian grapes to represent Gaga’s heritage, the spiced rum is a shoutout to Bey’s favourite drink, and Riri comes in in the form of a smoky splash of passion fruit bitter. The rest is topped up with popcorn syrup, lemonade, a sprinkle of caramel popcorn kernels, and as many sparkly cocktail sticks as Dan can fit in.

He explains the whole concoction to Phil as he presents it, a little smug because he knows this is an impressive looking cocktail. It’s probably his favourite one to make; the Viniq shimmery moscato vodka makes the drink swirl and shimmer - always exceptionally pretty.

Sure enough, Phil’s mouth drops open at the sight of it. “Okay wow,” Phil says, chuckling. “I’m gonna get drunk tonight, aren’t I?”

“If that’s your plan, this should definitely help you on your way,” Dan says, laughing too. “I wouldn’t recommend having a second if you want to remember your evening.”

Phil leans forwards to take a sip of the PopQueen, moaning around the straw, much to Dan’s dismay. He plucks one of the popcorn pieces off and eats it, eyes closed. In related news, Dan struggles not to fall to the floor. “Dan, you are an artiste,” Phil says. “Popcorn is my all time favourite food.”

“Oh, wow, that’s... lucky, I guess,” Dan stammers, a swell of pride surging up into his chest. “Glad you like it.”

“So, how much?”

“Oh, on the house.” Dan smiles, sliding the cocktail across the bar along with Charlie’s vodka tonic. “I feel bad for not letting you in on the forfeit for Bingo last time.”

The look on Phil’s face softens into something so sweet Dan can taste sugar on his tongue.

“You don’t have to do that,” Phil says softly.

“It’s fine, really,” Dan assures him, all but sliding his elbows across the bar towards him. “I insist.”

A twitch in the corner of Phil’s mouth, and then he’s leaning across the bar. It happens slowly, but Dan still manages to be caught off guard. One moment, he’s watching, bemused, as Phil inches towards him, and the next there’s a light press of paper-soft lips to his cheek. A scratch of stubble grazes over Dan’s skin as Phil leans away.

“Thanks,” Phil tells him, smiling. “You’re sweet, Dan.”

And then he’s turning away, drinks in hand, slipping into the mass of people.

For the next few hours, Dan hopes for Phil to return to the bar for another round. He waits, eagerly, for this moment to come. Instead, Charlie is the one who brings his and Phil’s glasses back over, and waves to flag down Dan’s attention.

He nods in acknowledgement, finishing up the drinks order he’s in the middle of, and sidling over to Charlie. He forces a strained smile.

“Same again?”

“Yeah,” Charlie says, digging out his phone. “And a couple of vodka shots.”

He says nothing else, eyes glued to his phone screen. Dan waits for a moment before moving off, eyes stuck to Charlie’s face. He’s the kind of gorgeous that shouldn’t exist in real life. Unblemished, tanned skin. Clean, dark stubble, lacing his perfect, razorblade jawline. His hair is a swoop of glossy mahogany; even the cut of it looks expensive.

Charlie’s eyes flick up to Dan’s, obviously questioning why he’s staring, so Dan nods, embarrassed, and hurries to make the drinks. From a superficial standpoint, it’s obvious why Phil is with Charlie. Obviously, in Dan’s eyes, Phil is the most attractive man on the planet, but that’s just because he’s Dan’s type. Even he can tell that Charlie is objectively a beautiful human being.

It’s just a shame about everything below the surface level.

Dan pours the two shots Charlie ordered. “All together it’s twenty pounds, please.”

Charlie snorts, then pockets his phone at last. “Figures you’d give Phil the discount.”

He pulls out a twenty and slaps it on the counter.

“Sorry, I can’t give you guys free drinks all night.”

Charlie just stares back at him, a faint, knowing smile caught on his dusty pink lips. One of this thick eyebrows is slightly quirked, sliding an irritation under Dan’s skin. “Listen, Danny, is it?”

“Dan,” he grits.

“Dan,” Charlie says, leaning across the bar. “A little advice, yeah? Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.”

He downs both the shots in quick succession, baffling Dan, who is frozen, mortified, to the spot. Before his brain can thaw enough to stammer out some witty rebuttal, Charlie has swept the drinks off the counter, and is moving away.

Cheeks burning, Dan turns around, trying to calm his boiling blood. He squeezes his fists together, counting to ten, the way he makes himself after all encounters with dickhead customers.

“Hey, sweetcheeks, can we get some drinks over here, please?”

With a deep sigh, Dan unclenches his fists, and turns to the next customer.

At around one in the morning, Dan runs to the bathroom for a minute, and on his way, he sees Charlie. He’s against the wall of the club, near the DJ booth. There’s a muscular, dark-skinned man pressing him there; their faces are close. Dan can’t stop, he’s left Tyler and Dodie to the mercy of the drunks in their worst state - things get rowdy an hour before closing - and he needs to get back there. So, instead, he simply tucks the image away in his mind, to think about later on.

That man, leant against Charlie in a less-than-innocent seeming stance, was certainly not Phil, after all. As he exits the bathroom, he notices that Charlie is gone, as is whoever was with him.

At 1:55am, the lights come on. As usual, an enormous groan chants out of the crowd of patrons on the dance floor, followed by a few pairs awkwardly stepping out of the shadows, some squinting and eye-covering, and the slow, jelly-legged walk to the coat-check area.

“I think I just saw some guy getting up off his knees in the corner,” Tyler says despondently. “Shotgun not mopping the floor tonight.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Dan sighs. “On the dance floor? Really? Why can’t they suck each other off in the bathroom like normal people?”

“Oh, there were definitely people doing that in one of the stalls about an hour ago,” someone says to Dan’s right. The voice, for some reason, sends the hairs up on the back of Dan’s neck.

He turns, wondering when Matt’s voice got so low, only to find that Phil has perched himself on one of the bar stools, the dregs of his cocktail still in a glass in front of him. For a moment, Dan is too stunned at the sight of him to reply. Then, he registers that the lights are on, and cringes, knowing he likely looks frightful. Phil, of course, looks radiant as ever even under the harsh fluorescents, apart from a faint tiredness, visible in the dark circles underneath his eyes.

“You’re still here,” Dan comments. “I thought you guys had gone.”

“Charlie left,” Phil says, looking away from Dan. “Or I assume he did.”

Out of sight, Tyler catches Dan’s eye, making an obscene gesture with his hands before snickering and running off in the direction of the supply closet. Dan just glares after him, pink-cheeked, and turns back to Phil.

“Wait, he left without telling you?”

One of Phil’s shoulders moves towards his neck, then falls. “He does that.”

“Wow that’s… kind of shitty.”

As soon as the words are out, Dan regrets them. He can’t help but think of Charlie’s comment from earlier; it rings in his ears as if the guy had screamed it at him.

Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.

He was right, probably, though Dan had hated hearing it. He should stop being such a suck-up. It must be awkward and cringey for Phil to see Dan so obviously smitten.

Still, Phil throws him a faint smile. “It’s cool. He’s just a flaky guy. A bit of a princess. He grew up rich, so he’s always been a bit superficial. I’m trying to wring the bourgeoisie out of his blue blood.”

Dan snorts with laughter. “In my experience, you can’t filter the dickishness out of people very easily.”

There’s a silence, then. Phil regards him with a faintly curious expression.

“Maybe I’m wrong,” Dan says once the silence gets too uncomfortable. He shrugs, grabbing the rag from his back pocket and starting to wipe down the bar. “I don’t know the guy, really. I’ve just had a couple of unfortunate experiences with him.”

“Oh no,” Phil says, face falling. “What did he do this time?”

Dan laughs, bitterly. “Don’t worry about it. He’s just a little mouthy, is all.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“So, when do you get to leave this place?” Phil asks, playing with his glass. He still hasn’t drunk the remainder of his cocktail. “Or do you sleep here?”

“On weekdays, the bar closes at two, so I get out of here at around two-thirty.”

“Christ,” Phil mutters. “And I thought my job was long hours.”

A laugh bursts out of Dan’s throat, but he covers it as best he can with a cough, turning away. Busying himself with ‘dusting’ some liquor bottles, Dan tries to compose a straight face. Is Phil honestly going to try and argue that his job is difficult? When was the last time that guy ever grabbed a broom, or handled someone’s sticky change?

In a minute, Dan is going to go into the corner of the dance floor, get down on his knees, and clean up some randomer’s come. A few weeks ago he saw Phil swanning about a five-star hotel in Korea. If AmazingPhil’s worst complaint is that he had to have a few questionable outfit choices put on him, and some silvery goo in his hair, then he needs a reality check.

Nevertheless, Dan knows that he can’t say any of this. Not only would he never dream of insulting Phil Lester, but it’s pointless to try and explain the differences between classes to someone in a privileged position. They’ve usually forgotten how to understand.

“Are you close by, at least?” Phil asks, interrupting Dan’s thoughts.

Dan turns back to him. “Kemptown. It’s half an hour’s walk, more or less.”

“You walk?” Phil asks, eyebrows skyrocketing towards his quiff. “At two in the morning?”

“Five in the morning on weekends,” Dan confirms, hiding a smile at Phil’s surprise. “It’s okay, you get used to it. Besides, it’s mostly just drunk idiots chugging cans of cider and threatening to run into the sea. Not too scary.”

Despite Dan’s reassurance, the look of pity and concern on Phil’s face doesn’t subside. After a while, Dan turns from it, feeling awkward. He busies himself with clearing away the last of the empty glasses, yawning into the crook of his elbow. Tonight was rough.

“You should crash at mine,” Phil blurts.

Sure he must have misheard, Dan faces Phil slowly. “Um, what?”

“If you’re exhausted, I mean.” Phil fidgets, fingers tapping against his glass. “Like, on the nights you can’t face walking all the way home, you can totally just sleep on my sofa.”

Speechless, Dan simply stares.

“The couch is pretty comfy,” Phil continues in a ramble, not meeting Dan’s eye. “And my flat is just up the road, literally like a minute away. I’m not saying, y’know, come over every night, ‘cause obviously… that might be an issue, but you can absolutely stay round on, say, Saturday nights when you finish later. That wouldn’t be a problem.”

He’s just being nice. That’s Dan’s only explanation. Phil Lester is a sweetheart of a person, and he got so worried about the hypothetical danger involved in Dan’s walks home, that he offered something big, even though he didn’t really mean it.

Dan is a stranger to him. He needs to decline the polite offer, and let Phil off the hook he accidentally created to string himself up on.

So, Dan forces out a small chuckle, and says: “Oh, no, it’s really fine. Thanks for the offer, that’s really good of you, but I quite like the walk. It’s a nice come down after a busy night.”

Phil nods, chewing his lip. He looks unconvinced. “I’m not just saying it, though.” His voice has dropped to a lower tone. “Like tonight… you’re so tired, I can see it. Just grab some sleep at mine before you head back across town.”

As soon as Phil mentions it, the quilt of his own exhaustion flops around his shoulders, dragging Dan’s bones towards the floor. He tries to picture the stumble back to his crummy flat in Kemptown, loathing each imaginary step.

“You barely know me,” Dan says - one last attempt at refusal.

Sensing he’s won, Phil smiles very slightly, then downs the rest of his cocktail at last. “I don’t know if it’s just me, Dan, but I have this feeling that we’re going to be good friends.”

(Part 4!)

#phan #phanfic #bartender au #phanfiction

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shinwhoohoo · 6 years

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ok~ since I don't really have anything to add to your contract post (as always, I agree 100% with what you said) and I don't really like talking about serious stuff (i'm always emo, but for some reason when i say it out loud my sarcastic ass always make it sound like idk about anything even though i'm LEGIT crying when I'm alone in my room or in the bathroom at work god) I was just thinking I could name a couple of random things I just thought about, just to share the love and lift the mood(1/5)

since the break up I couldn’t really listen to their songs without feeling sad so I just didn’t (that was like, what?, 6 months without hearing b1a4), but yesterday I finally had the courage and I’m so happy that I did. before I knew it “because of you” came on and man do I love that song like shinwoo rapping and voice is so on point and everyone sounds so lovely and urghh I was singing along and smiling, and since we are talking about great songs can we talk about the best EP to ever exist(2/5)I’m talking about what’s happening of course, I was going to mention starlight song, but who am I kidding I could talk hours about good love too???? it’s such a good song??? gongchan singing the first lines is pure art. Also I was reading your cnu megapost and you said that you didn’t fall for him right away, and it’s funny cause that’s the mv that did it for me lmao the absurdity of that video, how freaking CUTE they looked, gongchan little curls so adorable, baro and deul being extremely (3/5)funny, jinyoung being awkward ofc and, probably what started my love/want to punch you story with him, that freaking scene with him smiling in prison, like dude seriously? I’M WEAK his perfect little face drives me mad. and lastly, but not least, the long hair styled like that (I really liked those braids i’m sorry lol), the glasses, those playful winks and lip bites.. his beautiful smile idk more than anything else I just found his face really attractive? and while I’ll forever treasure (4/5)and miss those times, I’m ready for new and better things. I guess at the end of the day, I just want shinchandeul to be happy, to remember the past with love like we do but also know that sometimes things don’t go how we plan them and that’s life, we can get mad and cry, but we need to get up again. they will always have our support, i believe in them (that’s it, play road, suddenly i’m an emotional mess again) god this ended up being extra long im so sorry i just got so excited (5/5)

me reading your asks:

the biggest YES ever to all of this, bless you for spreading some much needed positivity and good vibes~

And I literally agree with everything you say here like I’m not even kidding ‘Because of You’ for the longest time was one of my favorite b-sides (I mean it still is one of my faves) and CNU’s rap is so cute and charming in it. Totally underrated everyone should experience how sweet that song is.

And ‘What’s Happening?’ EP?? Literally the best, most cohesive EP they have. It’s always been in my top three albums, sometimes trading places with ‘Good Timing’ album for 2nd place. AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON ‘GOOD LOVE’ OH SHIT THOSE TRUMPETS AND SYNTHS GET ME EVERY TIME. Admittedly, I’m partial to ‘How Many Times’ though myself, I think that’s my fave b-side on the EP. I mean ‘Starlight’s Song’ speaks for itself though, literally one of their prettiest tracks. That shit’s just fukin gorgeous and luckily (and unlike ‘Good Love’ and ‘How Many Times’) I feel like ‘Starlight’s Song’ is at least more known and appreciated. Damn that mini was just… gold. I mean ‘What’s Happening’ is and will always be my favorite era so I cannot say a single bad thing about it. There was just so much… good energy and good vibes. So much growth. Ah I gotta stop or I’m going to get emotional now ;;;;

Yeah like while ‘Beautiful Target’ made me fall for them as a group (largely cause of the reasons you listed and lmaoo totally agree about Jinyoung even then with that swarmy smile that was both so handsome yet infuriatingggg) CNU def didn’t grab my attention initially with that MV…. it’s so strange cause you’d think I’d remember the exact moment where it finally clicked and I was like ok I love him he’s my bias but I don’t really… all I know is that it didn’t take too much longer lol by the time 2012 rolled around I was already pretty smitten… *sighs*

Same as far as A3 too… in a perfect world, I just want them to be able to look back fondly on their days as five, as rookies and trainees up until their 7th year anniversary as wonderful times of growth and development, along with friendships that they formed that will never be replaced or forgotten– but in the same vain, I want them to be able to cleanly move forward with no regrets as three, and follow the new paths that they want, knowing that us fans will always be there supporting them~

Thanks so much for reading my contract megapost, and for sharing your thoughts here! I’m glad you’re back (and able to listen to Bipo again~), I missed talking to you!! ♡ ♡

#lmaoo and seriously we should all join hands in a circle and just keep playing 'road'#until we all break down into sobbing messes cuz road is that bitch of a song #but what can i say it's also my favorite bipo song.. like in all seriousness it is so #what'sa girl to do #b1a4 #cnu #jinyoung #shindeulchan #beautiful target #what's happening #text #ask #reply

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literaphobe · 6 years

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i was tagged by @romanticcstylez !! (legend)

rulez: list 10 songs you’re currently obsessed with and then tag 10 people

Rough - GFRIEND (i was really into this song like a year or two ago?? but then i randomly thought hey,, i haven’t heard this song in a while so i put it back in my playlist and the rest was history im obsessed again this song makes me feel like im in a field of dandelions and its kinda snowing a lil and i should be dancing and also clocks are ticking THAT BEING SAID the actual meaning of this song title in korean is ‘running through time’ how do u get ‘rough’ from running through time?? wtf man who translated this shit but yeah rough is the official english title and did i mention that this song is about a bunch of girls yearning to tell their crush that they like them but they either keep missing their chance or get too scared BUT in the music video there are no men around?? and at the end all the girls get real happy to see one another and they’re riding bikes and shit anyway i assume its a song about a bunch of girls who are in love with girls but are too afraid to tell them bc wlw cowardice and it makes sense bc the song makes the world out to be a lot tougher and scarier than it would be for a straight couple IN CONCLUSION i like this song and therefore its gay)

Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea - Fall Out Boy (FUCK ANYONE WHO DOESN’T THINK THIS IS THE BEST SONG IN MANIA- im just kidding, i mean, it’s the best, but that’s a personal preference for me?? i love this song so much i want it playing always i could listen to only this song forever and i’d probably be okay with that?? like this song is a drum storm and it’s yelling at me and i LOVE it love the yelling v v good there’s also some french?? wordplay shit idk so that automatically makes it sexy it makes no sense yet is also v deep?? is it deep?? who knows. in writing this very pointless explanation as to why i like this song THE ONLY THING THAT’S EVER STOPPING ME IS ME HEY sorry i’ve listened to this song like 3 times already while slowly typing all this out and oh my god it goes so hard!!!!! it goes so fucking hard i love it i love this nice thick and hard song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it deserves a music video im so mad like its so fucking good when mania dropped FOB didn’t give me no warning they didn’t prepare me with a random mv that made no sense and gdi STAY FROSTY ROYAL MILK TEA DESERVES AN MV also im naming a fic after this song word for word hgdfjghadjf i should stop tldr this song makes me feel like i can take on the world i feel so powerful when i listen to it also i listened to it like a fourth or fifth time i think hoo boi)

The Ballad Of Mona Lisa - Panic! At The Disco (SAY WHAT YOU MEEEAN TELL ME IM RIIIIGHT AND LET THE SUN RAIN DOWN ON ME come ON this song is so fucking good!!!!!! its creepy how good it is it makes no sense in a way but it speaks to me so hard!!!!!! it’s like good!!!!!!!!!! like the bells?? esp in the beginning and throughout the whole song tbh also the drums and like the drum buildup to the chorus was SICK and so was brendon urie yelling in song at the top of his voice that i enjoy recreating i’ll stop here bc i can’t keep fucking making these so long)

Emperor’s New Clothes - Panic! At The Disco (if it weren’t for this song i would have said that the ballad of mona lisa is my fave p!atd song but alas here lies a sick banger!!!!!! got sick lyrics that i haven’t analyzed but it got sick beats!! okay given the way i explain why i like this song it seems like i don’t even like it but i do okay!!)

All Falls Down - Alan Walker, Noah Cyrus, Digital Farm Animals (god i got some weird nostalgia shit attached to this song?? my sister first got me into it when we were on vacation in Finland and the thing is i usually don’t care too much for being abroad like places are just places and no matter how dope or wild a place is i put it into a ‘cool concept’ box and i tuck it somewhere in my mind and at the end of the day i’m glad i had some experiences but i like being at home-- BUT whenever i listen to this song i think about being in the bus in finland and it’s a long ride so it’s quiet but i’m listening to this song as i stare out the window and look at the snow dusted trees that pass me by each of them unique and beautiful and something i can’t help but anticipate;; i think about that time we were in this supermarket and i bought a ton of candy and the song came on over the speakers and me and my sister got so excited i think about how the sun set at 2 in the afternoon because we were deep into winter and i remember holding onto my dad as we drove through a crazy snow that was kinda stormy on this KTV like thing and it felt like there was no one around for miles and we went really fast,,,,, and a part of me feels like i’m there again, i’m still there, yet i’m here and i want to go back?? cold as shit but yeah i always feel Finland™ when i listen to this song so i can’t bring myself to skip it!! also its like a heck of a bop)

Earth - Sleeping At Last (what i love so much about this song is that i discovered it on accident?? i was listening to venus by the same artist at first and then earth came on and when it ended i was blown away. venus is also a good song that has a very sweet beginning but it doesn’t speak to me like this song does which i’ve heard someone say is about global warming?? which is hilarious anyway FAULT LINES TREMBLE UNDERNEATH MY GLASSHOUSE BUT I PUT IT OUT OF MY MIND LONG ENOUGH TO CALL IT COURAGE TO LIVE WITHOUT A LIFELINE I BEND THE DEFINITION OF FAITH TO EXONERATE MY BLIND EYE TILL THE SIRENS SOUND IM SAFE sorry god thats so good i love this song i was playing it one day while we were playing mahjong and the rule is if u win a round u get to play ur music on the speakers until someone else wins and my sister told me ‘do u have to play this song it sounds so depressing’ and god that just made me love this song more bc she’s right it has this Sad vibe but in a way it also goes hard?????)

The Last Of The Real Ones - Fall Out Boy (this song is sadly lower on the list than it deserves to be but thats prob bc i am not as into this song as i used to be STILL it is a VERY good song with a wicked piano beat in the beginning and before frosty dropped this was my favorite song in mania and honestly i’d easily still consider last of the real ones the second best song in mania?? song is very good and i like to think that it’s objectively very good so i don’t think it’s just me who likes it!!)

Death Of A Bachelor - Panic! At The Disco (THERES A REASON URIE NAMED THE ALBUM AFTER THIS SONG!! its bc it a good song and its just so?? raw?? just pure brandon doin his dope job, pulling those wack vocals and making me go wowza!!)

Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) - Eurythmics (i wouldn’t say i’m obsESSED with this song its just i put it on my playlist and i can’t remember why but i like?? can’t skip this song it’s just good and like wow its good)

Dragostea Din Tei - O-Zone (SHUT UP DON’T JUDGE ME)

anyway i’m so sorry for bein so extra i didnt need to be yet here i am doin a tag game after 28594940 years so here are the people who im forcing to at the very least glance at my bullshit: @chelseperetti @fourdrinkamy @linettithelezbian @distractingchildishmarriage @juliadorable @bisexualinetti @jakeperalta @beatcopjake @startofamoment @proofthatihaveaheart

#tag game #feel free to talk to me about any of these songs #or these artists #also if i didn't tag u that doesn't mean i don't love u i just ran outta slots

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cicinicole-14 · 6 years

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14x19–– Beautiful Dreamer [episode review]

can we talk about Grey’s here for a second? I’m gonna review this episode because it’s been a really great episode. I think one of the best we’ve seen in a long time. so lets start off with saying this: I am sorry for how unorganized and choppy this is going to be, I’m apologizing in advance but my brain is going a million miles an hour. ALSO. WARNING::: SPOILERS AHEAD!!! 🚨🚨

first off–– Richard and Ollie

this was so, so sad. this gave me Amelia and Michelle, on PP, parallel feels, how Ollie is much like Amelia’s best friend Michelle and Amelia and Richard both watched their friend die a slow death. I really think and hope this is going to bring Amelia and Richard closer as friends and support systems. this storyline (Richard and Ollie) was very real, heartbreaking and sad. I really liked it even though it was rough.

Arizona

two things here, first; Carina. I just. I don’t like her. it’s half “she’s never going to be callie” and half idk I just don’t like her character. she’s useless and just no. I really don’t like her. and I would really like for her to go back to Italy. like Arizona said, her study there is almost up… also, the comment at the beginning of the ep “I have no kids, thank god” like okay, I get that people don’t always like kids but coming from Arizona, someone who broke up with her girlfriend over children, this just made my heart swell. like carina you don’t say that to the person you’re with if they fucking have kids. thats like almost as close as basic human decency as we get here…and second; Arizona’s idea of the crash cart thing, that was amazing. seriously. “treat every delivery as a trauma” I can’t clap loud enough. this is amazing. I’m so glad she figured something out and she can stop stressing just a little bit. take a breather babes, you’re awesome, you’re a rockstar. [also, another note; I really am dreading JCap leaving and this is sad af, because we only have like what 3 episodes remaining?]

Bello and Deluca

I actually have a lot to say about this and this is where its going to get very unorganized. I love that they’re incorporating real life like this, fucking neurosurgeons in the making, who have been living here their whole lives, facing deportation to a country they don’t know just because of our terrible choice in leaders. I can talk a while about this but I’m not going to. I thoroughly enjoyed Bailey stalling the ICE agent [we will address this later] and how literally the whole hospital was banning together to help Bello out. I genuinely like her and I’m really sad to see her leaving. I loved all the scenarios of running, getting married, Jo telling her how to fake her death with a guy in New York, I actually laughed so hard. like this was so great. this whole storyline. and then when amelia asks Owen to call Megan to help out because her “favorite intern” is going to get deported for rUNNING A FUCKING RED LIGHT. A RED LIGHT PEOPLE. we can’t even put rapists in jail, and you’re exiling an innocent fucking surgeon to a country they spent barely a year in when they were born, because she ran a red fucking light? okay moving on, coco. I loved that amelia said that, it was really cute. and like then Meredith using one of Maggie’s old papers [im assuming] and telling her Sam got accepted in Zurich and is working with Cristina. that was actually so sweet and I can’t. and then poor Andrew. I really loved them as a couple. they are really sweet and I wish we got to know more about their story, but sadly we won’t since Bello left. their goodbye was so adorable and bitter sweet. I hope she comes back one day or Deluca leaves to go be with her, he deserves happiness and an actual storyline like this because Giancomo is kinda getting screwed with Deluca’s character here.

Jaggie…

as @jordan202 said last week, “jaggie is gaggie” and literally, yes. I was really excited to see Maggie ignoring him, because Jackson can be kinda dickish and like he should’ve told her April kissed him. if you want a relationship to work, be honest. and Jackson should’ve told her from the beginning. now to be honest with you, I skipped every jaggie scene, and caught the little bit at the end. I did want to point out, while I do not support Jaggie at all whatsoever, I find it very sweet Maggie showed up and made the speech and stood up for herself about not telling her because she said Jackson didn’t think he could handle it. go Maggie. and then I gagged again and skipped the scene that followed that… gross.

the interns

okay I love love loveeeee seeing Jo be the chief resident [I mean not like there can be any other chief resident because lets see, mousey died, Stephanie left, ben became a firefighter and where the fuck did Leah disappear to?] anyway, I love seeing Jo be the chief res and then bringing the interns around for rounds and no one letting them into rooms for rounds, that was actually quite funny.

Matthew and Ruby

okay, so I feel bad for Arizona because this was her case, but I empathize with Matthew, and he’s hurting and this is a lot. and I’m glad Owen could be put on this case, tho really fucking weird since he worked as a trauma surgeon in the army I didn’t peg him for a peds stand in, but I know this was just a little veer in his path for his storyline [which we will talk about as well] and I’m really grateful for April here. I know that everyone kinda looked weird at her for leering around Matthew and yeah I get it its weird, but her mother’s intuition was calling, and hey, guess what, it was fucking right. I’m really glad she was able to help and the end scene with her and Matthew was really sweet. it was full circle for them and I really enjoyed that.

lets go with the ICE agent next, and Bailey.

so I thoroughly enjoy that Bailey was at first just trying to stall him as long as possible. great tactic. and then her instincts kicked in and she pretty much saved this man’s life. I think that was really cool. and the scene with Maggie telling Bailey that she’d run all the tests, and then Bailey actually being serious about it. this was really nice. Bailey was being sincere to this man, she was serious because this guy, who is trying to take her intern, she could’ve easily just ignored his symptoms. but she didn’t and telling him, jfc that was great. “I swear to god this isn’t a joke” or whatever. bailey’s being serious, might I even say as serious as a heart attack… [okay, okay, I know, terrible joke I am sorry] anyway, this was really sweet that even though she deemed him as the enemy, she stilled helped save his life because its her job, just like, while he hates it, being an ICE agent is his job.

um what’s next? ou, Catherine.

can I start out saying I’ve never liked her? she’s always fucking shady and untrusting. seriously. and first off, do not go blaming your fucking son for this issue with the neurosurgeon lady. this is your fault. your “oh its nothing” thing with harper Avery and this lady. well yeah, we’re gonna think its nothing if you say it like that, of course Jackson won’t think anything of it and try and fucking fix things, there’s a child’s life at stake. if you weren’t such a shady bitch and were honest with Jackson, y’all won’t be getting into this mess, whatever the fuck it may be. ugh I do not like Catherine at all. Richard deserves better.

um, who else… Owen okay Owen.

so, I am still logically confused why Owen was placed on ruby Taylor’s case… like I mentioned before, he’s trauma not peds, but whatever, I guess if a hospital can have a bomb, shooting, 2 plane crashes, a fire and a billion other things happen, I guess a trauma surgeon can double as a peds one for a day. now, onto why. I’m really actually genuinely excited for Owen to take this step into singlehood and hopefully soon-to-be single fatherhood. I’ve been saying this forever, but give the man a child. he’s very similar to Alex in a way, he doesn’t act very decent with other adults, but in front of children, he’s an angel and its what he really needs. I can’t wait to see what comes of this storyline!

KIMMIE!

okay, wow! this breaks my heart. part of me is like “yes! go to NYC, go sing on broadway, explore the world while you still have the chance” and the other half of me just screams “stay strong just a little longer and stay at GSM for Alex and amelia to fix you, because I know they can”. Alex and kimmie’s dynamic is so sweet and their relationship just kinda melts me [and jo, but we will talk about that next!] I really hope this isnt the end of kimmie’s story. I hope she’s not going to just leave. side note: where did Tom go? is he back in New York? did he go back and I forget? anyway, whatever.

last but not least, the best, jolex.

okay, we got literally the sweetest scene I’ve ever fucking seen. I think I like this more than the proposal. actually, this and the 9x24 “I love you” scene are tied for first because ofc, that was my fave but also this one was. Jo telling Alex that she wants kids with him and wants to wedding plan and get married at joe’s bar and soon and ugh I cannot. and then her telling him she wants his last name because “I’ve never had the last name of anyone who’s loved me before” okay get out. bye. I’m dead. spoiler alert: I’ve been typing this from beyond the grave. this scene fucking melted me into a pile of goo. I cannot. bye!

bonus! 14x20 promo!

I AM FUCKING DEAD. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS EPISODE. ABSOLUTELY CANNOT FUCKING WAIT. this looks so goddamn fucking hilarious I literally almost started crying. first of all, Arizona being the innocent lil bean to unknowingly give everyone pot cookies, I’m in tears. then, Alex wearing the fucking whatever that was on his head and “oh yeah, it was so good” pissing myself. also, fuck, was that deluca hugging a bush?!? and Bailey professing her love to Meredith. I can’t I can’t. seriously, I have high expectations for this episode, and I hope it doesn’t disappoint.

end note: no gifs are mine and I’m sorry for not crediting artists, I just pulled these off google. thank you for letting me borrow your work.

#grey's anatomy #grey's spoilers #omelia #jolex #meredith grey #jo wilson #alex karev #amelia shepherd #owen hunt #april kepner #jackson avery #miranda bailey #all the things

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katiekeysburg · 6 years

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many many many thoughts on Infinity War

i’m not sure this will even make sense. spoilers

why does the read more not work on mobile

spoilers

last chance

GOTG

My favorite thing about the movie, by far, is the role the Guardians of the Galaxy played in it. They are my favorite, so that’s not surprising, but I honestly expected they’d be more like guest stars. They will probably be benched for most of the second film tho, so I guess this makes up for it.

Everything about meeting Thor is absolutely perfect. The crew’s fawning over him, Peter’s jealousy, “a pirate and an angel had a baby”. Thor assuming Rocket is in command because Peter is being so childish. I was laughing so hard for the whole thing, but my favorite moment was when Rocket goes to leave. Peter has a short aside with him, not unlike their aside when Peter, Gamora and Drax leave Rocket behind on Behar in GOTG2. Except they part on better terms, indicating how much both characters have grown.

Canon Starmora caught me a bit off guard, but then it’s been a couple years since GOTG2, and now the unspoken thing is now spoken. That’s an area rich for fanfic to fill in. I think my main issue was that tonally that seen just careems all over. Gamora’s flashback, begging Peter to kill her, then they’re kissing. Then Drax interrupts. Of all the moments in the film, this one need to breathe a little more to let it happen more naturally.

My favorite part of the movie might be the bit on Knowhere: Gamora’s grief when she thought she killed Thanos, and Peter’s attempt to kill her. The first GOTG shortchanged Gamora’s decision to move against Thanos and why; at that point she’s just made up her mind. So I loved seeing a bit more of their family dynamics. Peter’s attempt to kill her went on a bit too long IMO, but I loved the whole concept. I didn’t think he’d be able to do it, but he tried! My poor baby. He’s grown so much. I can forgive him his ultimate actions, they are understandable and there’s plenty of material to support him.

Gamora’s too make sense. I am most upset about that particular death, as her character arc is REALLY NOT COMPLETE. In my GOTG2 meta I discuss how she’s just barely begun to learn to deal with her emotions. She’s apparent come some distance since then, since she can tell Peter she loves him. But if this is really the end for her, she won’t ever get to complete her arc and I hate that. I assume she’s bound with the soul stone and will be back, but I HATES IT PRECIOUS. FUCK YOU RUSSOS/MARKUS AND MCFEELY IF YOU RUINED THE ARC OF ONE OF MY FAVES. It would be a really poor choice to fridge her like that, for fucking Thanos and Peter. FUCK.

Anyway, all the Guardians are used to absolute perfect effect within the larger story and with perfect characterization so bless James Gunn for co-producing. Mantis and Drax could have been easily sidelined, and while they don’t really have arcs of their own, they are used to great effect.

THOR

Thor is my second favorite part. He zings with everyone, although I didn’t expect the team up of him and Rocket. It makes perfect sense to send him on a quest, which mirrors his quest to be worthy of the hammer in the original Thor. It even requires a trial. And his arrival on Earth with Rocket and Groot is one of the greatest moments ever put on film.

Kinda pissed about Loki tho, even though what we did see of him was perfect.

Other than the Guardians, Thor and Hulk are the only characters who haven’t been in character stasis since Phase 2. Which is thanks to Ragnarok so BLESS TAIKA WAITITI

STARK/STRANGE/PETER

The Facial Hair bros are not my favorite, but I do appreciate the Stark/Strange pair up. Their friction is immediately believable and it works. This is Tony’s worse nightmare - not only was he worried he was going to die in space, but now Peter Parker is there too. It’s really the only climax they could do for Tony at this point, although I’m pretty pissed his character has basically been in neutral since The Avengers. We’ve seen him try to overcome his fears, try to compensate for them, try to protect against them, and he hasn’t really grown much as a character since then. He’s struggled, but it hasn’t gone anywhere and it leads him here anyway. Worse, rather than just be responsible for the Avengers who are at least powerful adults in their own rights, he has Peter who is there because of his actions.

Just cause Tony is a popular character is not a good reason to leave his character spinning until they could get to this movie. BAH.

Thank goodness for Peter. I died at his Aliens references. He lightens up the two Facial Hair bros who would otherwise get too dire. This group gets a lot better when the Guardians show up tho. They all get to zing off each other.

I just want Peter and Peter to talk more pop culture. I really need to write that fucking heist fic for the two of them. SO MUCH. Fuck. Anyway, Tom Holland was pure perfection and also used really, really, really well.

THANOS

I saw praise for developing actual motives for a villain and making him understandable. Overall I feel pretty meh about Thanos though - he works excellently as a foil for both Avengers and GOTG but independently I don’t think he’d be that interesting. He’s certainly no Loki or Ego. It made sense to make this movie his movie, his quest, given where it ended, but I still feel it was a little underdeveloped. Why go after the stones right this second? What’s he been doing since the Avengers, besides having the gauntlet made?

TEAM CAP

If this movie makes one mistake, it’s who they choose to leave on Earth. The problem with sending all your funny people to space is that everything on Earth after that sort of lagged. The only relief was really Bruce reacting to everything he had missed while he was gone, plus whatever lines they could scrounge up for Rhodey and Sam and Oyoke. The sidekicks do all the heavy lifting but the Earth scenes lack the cohesion of the rest of the movie. It’s mostly set up and dreary exposition. If I cut anything out of the movie (besides making every battle shorter) I would cut out Rhodes talking to the Colonel. That whole scene is WAY too long to establish that Cap is still a criminal and Rhodes was on the other side.

Honestly, of the many failures Civil War had, one really evident one here is the lack of my ability to care for Vision and Scarlet Witch. Neither of those characters nor their romance has been developed enough for the importance the plot tries to place on them. It was present in Civil War but never really clicked. I think it’s partially the ridiculousness of the very young-written SW in combination with the ridiculous purple android. The relationship never manages to feel real.

The best part was Black Widow, Scarlet Witch and Oyoke all fighting together, and I want my female Avengers movie.

Cap is given basically nothing to do but show up and look cool. I’m assuming he will therefore have a bigger part in the next movie, but FUCK if I’m not still pissed at the Russos/ M&M for continuing to kick the Stucky can down the road. As far as I’m concerned, they’ve never reached and real emotional catharsis or resolution that was promised in Winter Soldier. Poor Bucky literally keeps getting PUT ON ICE as they used CW to set up this movie, and used this movie to set up Avengers 4. Deeply uncool.

FINAL THOUGHTS

The ending sucked. I hate walking out of a movie theater on a down note. I get where we are in the structure and why they did it and it will ultimately be fine, but it’s not a great place to end the movie. It was almost as bad as walking out at the end of Deathly Hollows 1. It would have been worse, had we not known pretty much everyone that dies has another movie scheduled. I am kind of glad most of the Guardians are gone actually, since if Gamora is gone at least the others aren’t there to mourn her. Pretty harsh to leave poor Rocket alone tho, as he’s the least capable of dealing with it. He’s going to make a good foil for Tony in the next movie.

The stinger at least helped. The nerd boys in the row behind me thought Fury was calling Nova and I had to correct them that it was Captain Marvel. They were like “Oh, her.” Fucking sexist ass nerd boys can’t get excited for Captain Marvel. It will be a great move into Phase 4 to have her show up and work with Gamora in the Soul stone to save all these emotional constipated male superheros who just can’t seem to deal with their issues.

Putting Avengers members with the GOTG crew really just highlights how much of Phase three has been treading water to get here, for every Avengers character but Thor and Hulk. I absolutely blame Markus and McFeely and Civil War for this too. Poor Tony has been stuck since IM 3 but Civil War could have done a lot more than look cool and manufacture conflict to get everyone in the right position for this movie.

TLDR: Infinity War is better than Civil War but suffers for the lacks in CW, just as it’s buoyed by the strengths of the other franchises. And fuck Markus and McFeely.

#infinity war #infinity war spoilers #infinity war meta #mcu meta #i have many feelings #and they are very mixed #but this came out more coherent than i anticipated

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drmatchupmode · 6 years

Text

Matchup Request

May I have a matchup with a v3 boy please?? Im a gal, 19, 5’3”, very petite body type!! I like drawing, playing video games, and watching horror movies!! Personally I’m the kind of person who is very shy and awkward (social anxiety and depression are constantly kicking my ass), but over time I open up a bit more (and tend to overshare oops). I have really high empathy like??? I care too much about stuff. People think it’s dumb. I get overly emotional sometimes too. But I always try to be nice and polite to anyone I meet!! Also I get flustered so easily,, like with compliments and stuff!!! (I reached the ask limit so I submitted it instead, I hope you dont mind!!! Alsjajsjak i hope im a good match with my fave)

Hi-Hi!!!💕From here on out i’m going to start apologizing to everyone who still has a matchup in my inbox cause boi have I taken a long time to answer them, so I’M SORRY I DIDN’T ANSWER YOUR MATCHUP SOONER AHHHH. Judging by your icon I suppose(??) you are still in the danganronpa fandom, so that’s always good (exhales loudly). And actually, the longer the info the better! So i’m glad you decided to submit your info hehe. Anyways! I hope you’ll be able to enjoy your matchup.

I’ve decided to match you with…

Gonta Gokuhara!!!

After debating it for some time, I believe you’d make a good match with Gonta! Gonta and you are a tiny bit similar, but not in a way that it would highlight each others faults, quite the opposite in fact! For someone with bad anxiety and depression like yourself, I believe someone who is open and accepting instead of judgemental and overly critical is good choice. Gonta proves to be very openminded with his eagerness to learn about the world around him. Although he might not be the best conversationalist, he is definitely friendly and enthusiastic about meeting people, and when he senses that the conversation he is sharing with someone is not pleasurable, he’ll try to make it so for the other person. He is also quite the gentleman, so when speaking to others he is always polite and kind. When you open yourself a bit more, your tendency to overshare would actually be welcomed by Gonta, as like a mentioned, he has an eagerness to get to know the world around him and other people. Like you, Gonta is also very empathetic, for which he would not find your empathy dumb in any way, but be glad that there is someone who really cares and is willing to help someone in need. Also, this means he’d be very empathetic towards your problems. He might not completely understand the issues you deal with, but he is absolutely willing to learn about them and at least try to understand them to a degree in which he can help you. When it comes to Gonta, as he is someone who is quite naïve and inexperienced, many people tend to get frustrated with him. Due to this, a parter of his would need to be patient and willing to help him, which is a role I believe you could fulfill. In addition to this, Gonta actually faces a lot of insecurity issues, relating to his intelligence and at times background. For this, he also needs someone who will empathize with his feelings and situation even if it might be hard to understand or assimilate to. In a curious way, with both of your similarities, you manage to complete each other and compliment each other in your main differences.

Headcannons:

When you first meet, Gonta shows that he is very interested in getting to know you

He approaches you a bit too overly excited at first, but after he notices your shy demeanor, he tones it down and acts more gentlemanly instead

You end up getting very flustered because of all the compliments he gives you and having to excuse yourself with Gonta thinking you left because you were sick

Your next time you met up it went much better though

Ultimately, you two grew a close bond with each other

Each time you would stop yourself from oversharing or feel guilty about it, Gonta would encourage you to do it or tell you it’s okay

SUCH A CUTE AND SOFT COUPLE💖💖💖…my heart…it can’t take it (dies from cuteness)

If you have to go somewhere, Gonta will literally carry you there if you ask

You know what? You don’t even need to ask, Gonta will do it literally out of pure love

Loves your drawings, thinks you are like the most talented person ever??

Get ready for a whole lot of compliments!!!

Doesn’t really understand why you get flustered at first and thinks it’s a bad thing as he sees you get red, until you explain to him it’s not a bad thing and you make him flustered instead lol

He doesn’t really like horror movies and gets pretty scared at them, but if you hold his hand through them he can make it through one

Thinks you are pretty brave for being able to watch them!

Whenever you get overly emotional or suddenly your anxiety and depression troubles you, he will hug you and will not physically let you go until you tell him to let you go or tell him you are okay

Afterwards, he will wrap you in a blanket and get you whatever you need

When he learns you have depression and anxiety, he doesn’t quite understand, so he starts researching about them

He will also ask you about it and what he can do to help

Can I just say this boy is a complete CUDDLE MONSTER

Will always cuddle you and hold hands with you

He will love you for eternity with all of his heart

Other options: Kaito Momota, Shuichi Saihara

Hope you enjoyed the matchup! If you feel like you weren’t portrayed correctly/I misinterpreted your information let me know and I’ll make the corrections!

#regularmatchup #submission #16 #matchup #danganronpa

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franeridart · 7 years

Note

I absolutely adore every single KiriBaku thing you draw. They’re so pure and I love them.

;O; !!!!! thank you holy heck!!!!!

Anon said:Fran i missed your hq fanart, it was so good seeing some more from you!

I’m happy you liked them!!!! I missed drawing them too, really !!!!

Anon said:Imagine this - BNHA kids like It kids. Also love your art!

But I haven’t watched It :O and thank you!!!

Anon said: Is it ok if fictionkin people reblog your art and tag it as kin or anything of the sort?

Sure! People are gonna do so anyway whatever I say after all, and this seems like a really silly thing to get bothered over since it’s not like it hurts me in any way haha

Anon said:Who dabs more, Denki or Mina?

If I gotta pick one I’d say Kaminari, but I sure as heck hope dabbing isn’t still a thing in whatever future bnha is set in, anon hahaha

Anon said:yo i love it when you color your sketches, so pretty!!

OH BOY thank you so so much!!!!! :O

Anon said:I love you and your art so much?? like??? you’re so perfect?? just keep doing what you’re doing because you’re doing fucking amazing

I’m the furthest thing from perfect you’re gonna find, anon haha but thank you so much for the compliment!!

Anon said:thank you for always making me smile.

And thank you cause this ask made me smile, anon!!

Anon said:your coloring skills are improving!!! gosh your art is visibly getting better lately (not that it’s even been “bad”, there’s no such thing!! i’ve always loved it). i don’t know if it’s a good idea to tell you this but i mean it as a genuine compliment!

Are they really??? °O° I wouldn’t have said so, honestly haha but I’m super happy to hear that, thank you!!

Anon said:Are any of your OCs romantically involved? Or are they all just good friends?

Yes and no, depending on at which point in their respective story we’re talking about haha Josh and Chris are in love with each other, and so are Max and Leo (well, their situation is a bit… uncommon, but if I were ever to write their story they’d be together in the end) - I once posted about Gabe and Hector, and by the end of their story they’re in a poly relationship with a girl named Erica I’ve never posted about. Luca has a love (?) interest of sort but he’s not been posted about yet hohoho maybe sometime in the near future. Still deciding about Isa and Ana’s relationship, but maybe. Who knows? That’s about it as far as the ones I’ve posted about go :D

Anon said:your ocs are adorable!! esp ana, I want to know EVERYTHING ABOUT HER (and, yeah, having new ocs is super exciting, like you said! just– being able to figure all that stuff out, actually mould a character of your own– it’s a lot of fun!!!)

Anon said: What are Ana and Isa like? From that drawing, I already think I would want to be friends with Isa! She looks like lots of fun!

She is!! She’s sort of a jock, a bit of a dummy and really loud, she’s easy to make laugh and got the type of laughter that makes you wanna laugh with her so when she’s around the mood is always a good one! She’s not exactly a social butterfly, but she’s got no problems with socializing, knows by instinct how to bend her behaviour to fit with all types of people and has the incredible ability to have every and all awkward situations fly right over her head, she just doesn’t notice them, and that makes it hard to be anything but relaxed when she’s around. She’s actually how she and Ana got in the group, since she’s gym buddies with Leo! She also really really likes ball sports :D

Ana’s an introvert all the way through, on the other hand - she’s really witty and sassy when she feels comfortable enough, and sarcasm is her preferred way of communicating, but if she doesn’t know you/ too many people she isn’t 100% comfortable with are around she comes off as timid and closed off, smiles politely and barely utters a word - people assume she’s the subdued and shy type at first so once she starts opening up it’s always sort of a shock haha she’s got a scientific mind and while she isn’t a “gifted kid” like Chris she likes to learn and study a lot, which is why she ended up having a real great relationship with Chris specifically out of everyone in the group (they like to nerd out together) (Josh isn’t particularly happy about it, the jelly idiot)

Anon said: I love seeing you drawing and getting asks about your OCs. They have so much personality and it makes me super happy. I hope you’ll feel like sharing them with us more often!

Thank you so much!!!! I’m really really happy people seem to like them too!!!! :O

Anon said:you draw the children so long i love it :0

!!!!! :D thank you!!!

Anon said:Did you now that the voice actor of Tenya is also the one of Kageyama ? (I start Haikyuu because of you by the way, thanks for this and for all your great art !)

I did know!!! There’s a lot of hq va’s in bnha, that’s always made me happy haha

Anon said:Love the new Haikyuu art! Although it’s sad that someone made you lose motivation to draw BNHA :/ Daishou is one of my faves, too. He’s such a doof, love it.

OH BOY I love Daishou so much, I’m glad you like him too! Aside from how much fun he is to draw (and color! he’s a green haired boy and that matters lots to me haha) he’s got so much personality and he’s such an interesting character! I honest to god disliked him with a passion during the nekohebi game, actually haha but that’s how it is with most of my hq faves, after all hahaha glad you liked the doodles, by the way!!!

Anon said:DOGS? SHOUTS? LUCA IS MY KINDA GUY

THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY ANGRY SON !!!!!! :D

Anon said:I love Luca! Where did he get his scar?

A fight with some punks back when he was a teen that ended up escalating when knives became a thing that was being used :O he comes off as the dangerous sorta type which makes good people steer clear and bad ones come looking for trouble/ pick fights with him cause they assume he was picking a fight cause of his resting bitch face. Well, he’s an ass so let’s say that at least half the times he had been picking fights, and it’s not like he runs when someone tries to fight him anyway… that’s not the only scar he has, it’s just the most visible one haha

Anon said:I’m kinda freaking out about Luca and the others being italians! It makes me love your OCs even more ahah Btw, don’t know if you’ve already answered this or if it’s too personal but… are you Italian? (Or what nationality?)

Yah I am! :D and I’m super happy to hear you like my kids!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! I just wanted to let you know that you inspire me a lot! Your blog is honestly such a happy, fun place to be. You draw so much stuff, so much cute and sweet stuff regularly and I aspire to be like that! I’m extremely slow at drawing, and I lose motivation or get distracted from drawing easily, but I’m hoping for a day when I can make a blog just like yours; a place where I can regularly draw things that make me happy. I hope you have a wonderful day!

I’m!!!! so happy to hear that!!!!! And yeah I 100% understand the being slow and getting discouraged easily, I used to be (and sort of still am) like that too :O my need to be faster is what had me end up with the style I have now, actually haha I hope you’ll find a comfortable style that’ll let you be as fast as you wish soon too, anon!!!

Anon said:I don’t think you understand how much it means to me that you drew an asahi! He’s my fave and he looks precious and pretty in your style! Thank you for this gift :’)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m glad you liked him, then!!!!!!! *O* thank you!!!!!

Anon said:Thank you for drawing Noya! Im sorry it was sort of cause of a shitty anon, I also really enjoy your bnha drawings so im not trying to be all “waaaah go back to hq”, but im happy to see my lightning son and also find out hes in your favs? Yay!

YAH HE’S THE BEST ISN’T HE he’s been one of my top 5s since he first appeared, he’s such a good I’m glad you liked him!!!!!!!!

Anon said:FRAN YOUR NEW HQ ART IM IN LOVE!!!!!! YOU DRAW DAISHOU LIKE A LITERAL SNAKE HES SO SMUG ITS SO GOOD!! AND YOUR OCS!! I WOULD HONESTLY READ A BOOK ABOUT THEM. OR A WEB COMIC. BOTH ARE GOOD. SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS IM JUST EXCITED BC HQ!!!! AND AWESOME OCS!!!! (can you tell that i have a weakness for other people’s ocs, esp when done well) (which you certainly have)

THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS OH GODS !!!!!!!!!!!! Especially about my ocs, that makes me so happy oh boy ;O; !!! And and and I’m super happy you liked Dai! He’s honestly so much fun to draw, for me hahaha

Anon said:I’m sorry that people are being assholes, sending good vibes! I love all your art, I hope you have a good day

This to you and everyone else who’s sent the same type of ask, thank you SO much! You guys are all so incredibly nice and supportive, bless all of you ;O;

Anon said:Dave!!! :D

Dave indeed!!!!!! :D :D

Anon said:your art is Good

Thank You !!!!!!!!

Anon said:omg i love your ocs so much

SOB thank you?????

Anon said:I love how the collar on Kiri’s coat in the ‘Them boys’ post is reminiscent of his pauldrons

……………………………………………….. that was totally on purpose. Yep. Definitely. Hmhm.

Anon said:Anon from before showed me your stuff today and just wanted to say wow I love your stuff what even your art is so good I fuckin love kiribaku and oh my god I swear I must have gone through your whole kiribaku tag and I’m gone your art just made my day

GOSH I’m glad you liked them???? thank you for such a nice message aaahhhh !!!!!!

Anon said:Im cry omg i just realized ur url is franeridart fjhfhf this whole time i thought it was friend art bddnjx

You’re the second person that tells me that in the span of just a couple of days omfg hahahaha it’s cool tho, I wish that was actually the url, it’d have been such a soft one haha

Anon said:hi Kaminari can skateboard he has a skateboard in his room

Kaminari in his room also has a dart board, a basketball and a dj console, and that’s only the stuff whe can see so actually, considering in his likes there’s “cool things” I think he’s the type of boy that tries to pursue any hobbie he might think would make him look cool, so either he has no clue how to use any of the cool things in his room above a vaguely amatorial level or he’s still pursuing all of those interests! Which would actually be super cool! Incidentally this is my preferred headcanon too so, yeah, as far as I’m concerned he knows how to skate. And play basketball. And darts. And also how to dj. He’s a cool kid haha

Anon said:Bless you and your super cute kiribaku ^_^

Bless you for the super sweet message, anon!!!! ;O;

Anon said:THAT JIROU IS SO TINY AND ADORABLE I’M DYING LOOK AT HER SIDE BY SIDE WITH KAMINARI AND BAKUGOU OH MY GOD

Hahahaha I might have actually accentuated that a bit, but she’s about 20cm shorter than the both of them and in a chibi style that’s hard to keep accurate hahahaha but yeah I love my pocket sized girl she’s the best

Anon said:Im so fucking happy because youve been posting (almost?) daily for a few days now

That was my own poor attempt at something similar to inktober, actually! I’ve had a few days through the month I wasn’t at home at all so I couldn’t draw all 31 days, but I think I got close? Maybe? I’m glad you enjoyed it, tho!!

Anon said:you deserve all the love in the world

I’m f sobbing so do you, friend ;u;

Anon said:do you like as*noya?? or, which are your main pairings for asahi and noya :)

I do ship as*noya, but I prefer Asahi with Daichi and Suga (ot3) or with Kiyoko, actually :O while my fav Noya ship is with Tanaka~

Anon said:I have recently fallen totally in love with kiribaku as a ship, and your art is always my favorite to see in the tags. Thanks for drawing those two nerds, and I hope you have a good rest of your day!

Thank you!!!!! This fandom is super full of incredibly talented people, I hope you’ll enjoy it here hahaha

Anon said: I first found your blog searching the Bokuroo tag.I was very happy because it was one of my all time OTPs,but they didnt have much content.Then there you came,with amazing art.Time passed and you watched BNHA.I was absolutely captivated by BakuShima and then I checked your blog and it had BakuShima!!I told myself “this person cant get any cooler”.But today i found out about TetsuKami and I checked their tag and yoU ALREADY MADE FANART OF THEM!!Officially ,you are the coolest person on Tumblr tbh

We seem to have really really similar tastes in ships, anon!!!! that’s so great omfg !!!!!!! :O and I’m super happy you like my stuff still afer all this time hahaha

Anon said:Could I draw some fan art of your ocs?

Oh my god yeah!!!!! please do link me to it if you do!!!!!

Anon said:BLESS YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL FOR MAKING SUCH AMAZING ART

BLESS YOU FOR BEING SO KIND, ANON!!!!!!

#fran answers #fuck me and my procrastinating ass #also #original art #but just blabber about it?#oc asks #okay that's better #anonymous

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valyrfia · 6 years

Note

hey friend! fello eurovision shitposter here :) first of all I want to say that im so glad to have finally found someone whos as convinced as i am that bulgaria should win this year! I had another question for you: so you post a lot of marvel as well and a lot of stony so i stalked your blog and im confused because you said you started to ship them more after civil war? idk im a huge stucky shipper and steve and bucky just seem to have the better dynamic no offense intended i just want yourview

BULGARIA. THEY’RE AMAZING RIGHT? I’m honestly almost more in love with this song that I was with Beautiful Mess last year (that’s a lie I still cry that my boy Kris didn’t win but I also adore Amar Pelos Dois so I’m not mad). Now with the footage of their AMAZING live performance at the London pre-party, I’m almost fully convinced that they are gonna clinch the top spot this year. I mean, imagine Bones with the camera work and lighting of Eurovision and the atmosphere of the arena. It’s going to be incredible I’m so excited.

Moving on from my trash talk: why I ship stevetony and not stucky? Whoo boy this is gonna take an essay to answer, and it’s going to be difficult a. because I can never remember all the reasons why I do ship stevetony (I always end up missing one lol) and b. because stucky shippers are…enthusiastic, for the lack of a better word. I love them, I respect a lot of them and I’m friends with people who ship it. But fandom is a tricky business. Stevebucky never did it for me as a ship. The explanation is long and complicated but it can be boiled down to a distinct idea: For me, adding a romantic element to Steve and Tony’s dynamic makes their interactions much more interesting and intriguing, while adding a romantic element to Steve and Bucky’s dynamic would almost subtract something quintessential from both of those characters.

Friendships to me are almost more impactful on a person’s life than romantic relationships, god knows where I would be without my friends today. There’s a tendency in the media to push the obligation that the most important person in your life has to be your significant other. I hate that, frankly. Steve and Bucky love each other more than anybody else in the world, and for me, that’s beautiful. I guess I just never did understand the romantic connotations that people attached to what seemed to me, seemed to be a fully functioning, complete and beautiful relationship.

Steve and Tony’s relationship however, you always feel like you’re missing some part of the story when you observe their interactions. From their respective monologues to each other, The Confession and The Oath to their familiar joking with each other right before everything goes to shit at the base in Siberia in CA:CW. You feel like you’re missing some part of their story. I, (it seems along with Jonathan Hickman, RDJ and Chris Evans) like to headcanon that this missing piece is a romantic plotline, but you can interpret it however you want. That’s the beauty of fictional works. It’s not the cold, hard canon that matters, but your interpretation of it. My experience is different from yours and to me that’s beautiful.

An essay is available below the cut, if you’re interested in how I actually stopped shipping stucky and started shipping stevetony (an origin story if you will.)

In my introduction to Marvel, a couple of years ago, I did initially read Steve/Bucky fics more than any other pairing, but incidentally it was a Steve/Bucky fic that made me start reading Steve/Tony ones (oops I guess?) The Man on the Bridge by boopboop on AO3 was the one that got me invested in the Steve/Tony dynamic, it was the fic with the highest kudos on AO3 at the time that I was reading Stucky. It’s a really great fic 11/10 definitely worth the read (I think you need an AO3 account though) but what kept me going wasn’t the ship I was supposed to be reading it for, it was the dynamic between Steve and Tony. For example: you get great scenes like Steve and Tony bickering like an old married couple over coffee at least four times and banter like this out of nowhere:

““I sent flowers?” Tony asks, trying like hell to play it cool. He gives her a desperate look that she ignores by default.

“Tony picked them,” Pepper says, determined as ever to ruin Tony’s reputation.

“He did, did he?” Steve asks knowingly.

Pepper leads them all into the wide social space inside. “He spent a lot of time trying to find your favorites.”

It’s dark enough to hide the fact that Tony’s ears are a little pink, even when someone has as sharp a vision as Steve does. That doesn’t stop him wanting to crawl back into his suit and hide. “Really? Do we have to tell him that?”

“He might think you don’t like him if I don’t,” Pepper says with a knowing smile flashed in Steve’s direction.

“I don’t,” Tony says firmly. “I tolerate him. Barely.”

“Uh huh.” Steve chuckles, his smile growing warm. “Right. I get it.””

and lines like this

“We - Nat and I - figured Rogers would come to you for help once he and Bucky made it out of Florida.”

“You did?” Tony asks, stunned. He can think of a dozen people Steve would have picked over him, even with the resources Tony has at his disposal.

Barton looks at him like he’s an idiot. “Yes,” he says, simple as that.

“And that brings you here why?”

“Because neither of you idiots have a single shred of self preservation between you,” Barton says bluntly. “That’s why you’re good for each other.”

and general power couple stuff

She hardly looks a day older than she had appeared in the recording they saw before leaving for London - but Tony knows that file was dated 1991. Her sharp features are paired with dark eyes and unnaturally pale skin, offset by a razor sharp, almost masculine suit. “Mr Stark,” she inclines her head, “Captain Rogers.”

She had been given no other identification in the videos, other than being addressed by Lukin as ‘Synthia’. Since they don’t want to give away how much information they have, Tony tips his head to one side and asks, “Should I know you? Have we met?”

“We have not, Mr Stark. Captain Rogers and I do have a shared acquaintance, however.”

“Don’t you dare talk about him,” Steve growls, tense at Tony’s side. The fact that he hasn’t rushed forward and unleashed that brewing violence is something of a shock. He’s practically shaking with his rage, every muscle in his body tense and strained.

Tony puts one hand on Steve’s arm, steadying him. “Look lady, I don’t know who you are but I’m tired of games. What do you want with us?”

She tilts her head, “Why not the pleasure of your company? You are Iron Man and Captain America after all. An unstoppable force. The two greatest superheroes of our time.”

even the goddamn villains ship it I was supposed to go into this fic and not come out the other side shipping steve and tony come on

there’s a reason that this is the only non-stevetony fic i’ve read in three years goddamnit

*clears throat*

But yeah that was the fic that got me interested in the possibilities surrounding the Steve/Tony dynamic. Then I started doing some research and came up with the canon content (like their respective love confessions in 616 and the actors fascination with the ship (shoot me I’m weak okay)), and it’s been a wild ride ever since.

If you’re interested in seeing their dynamic in action through a romantic lens, may I suggest Disrepair by Tippet for MCU and Belief Space by magicasen for 616. Neither have huge confessions of love or anything like that, Belief Space does have one kiss towards the end but the focus point is Steve and Tony’s dynamic during the incursion crisis in 616 and Steve’s POV remains largely platonic throughout the fic. Disrepair actually has no romantic connotations in it, as far as I remember, but it analyses the MCU dynamic in such a way that you start to see what I mean when I say that Steve and Tony’s relationship would be ten times more intriguing with a romantic element. Both fics are interesting character studies of both Steve and Tony and I would highly recommend reading them anyway. Also Belief Space is my favourite fic of all time, and does not get enough love goddamnit, so there’s that.

Anyway, I’ll finish your lovely ask by giving you what is frankly my stevetony song for Infinity War and the only song I listen to nowadays. It’s my fave. What else would it be in the month before Eurovision? It’s Bones by EQUINOX.

youtube

#ask #stevetony #otp: he loved you #answered #esc 2018

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dreamerology · 7 years

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my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

#dont feel like u gotta read this im just yelling 2 the void djkfhsjdhf #its rly long nd a lot of text but i wanted 2 write something nd it got sorta out of hand #i say 2k later kdjhfsjhfkjsd #long post /#IM SO SORRY IF UR ON MOBILE AND THE READ MORE DOESNT WORK #lu.txt #for those who are wondering why its real ass emobebe hours its bc its my 1 year stanning mx and im a Giant Sap #now im gonna shut up and not talk for the rest of the year ://

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