#im always thinking of Her but i havent touched her in a while lol

[jedibongrip]

hello i just re-read your snippet for a little mind break never hurt anybody and i am losing my goddamn mind do you have any more thoughts to share in this verse?

the mind break in question

💀 ngl the mindbreak fic is, and has been, in (pre)development hell FOR A WHILE lol. i think of it often but have not made a lot of progress on it.

in terms of THOUGHTS THO:

anakin loses both his legs on mustafar, and lost an arm to dooku, but i think im gonna leave his remaining arm in tact. for Reasons

the reason(s) is (are): i want to give him jewelry that act as a force suppressant cuz obiwan is terrified anakin is gonna feel deception in the force

in a similar vein as 'obiwan shapes anakin into a whore by lying about their past 'relationship'': obiwan 100% somno anakin, FREQUENTLY, in part cuz.... he loves being able to fuck anakin while he's all relax and loose and he makes such cute sounds as he sleeps, especially the first thrust in, and obiwan always makes sure anakin is well-fucked so there's never too much resistance.... and anakin likes it too, he genuinely loves waking up and realizing obiwan is fucking him and probably has been for at least a few minutes. but obiwan also somnos anakin to like, idk, use some alpha pheromone bullshit to try and keep anakin more calm and docile throughout the day

(i think. i wanna try to get across that obiwan actually Likes it when anakin gets snarky and argues back. he doesnt want anakin to be some door mat or some super submissive little trophy spouse. he hates it when he realizes he's overdone it, that anakin is just so dazed and floaty that he isnt HIMSELF. but, for the greater good of the universe, obiwan will have to turn his boy into a submissive cock slut with a breeding kink 😔 god gives his toughest battles to his most horny and repressed soliders)

i got ideas bouncing around about them going on a lil vacay/honeymoon or smth and fucking in a natural hot spring. is this recommended irl? no, due to UTI, BV, and brain-eating amoeba reasons. do i want obiwan and anakin to have an exhibitionist kink tho? yes.

idk maybe ill add in some oral knotting. well see what happens

if anakin is LUCKY.... i'll let him peg obiwan.

a minor point i wanna hit is like. anakin wants them to buy a cool and fast speeder and is sooooo fucking mad when he realizes he CANT cuz whatever vehicle they get needs enough space for their kids and it needs to have a good safety rating and all the speeders he wants are to expensive and obiwan will never agree. evil and darkness brought on cuz he isnt allowed to space tokyo drift

[nomairuins]

i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

[ewwgene-fitzherbert]

lrb

[acuar-io]

8 for alphie 15 for avery and 13 for juno ! 👀💞

8. Describe a significant relationship in your character's life and how it has influenced them.

I'd say her relationship with Avery changed/influenced her. I haven't showed it yet in my gameplay, but Alphie doesn't do committed relationships or didnt do committed relationships in the past because they are constantly out exploring the world and moving around. She is in San Myshuno to experience city life and finish up school. Didn't plan on falling in love at first sight, but it happened! Meeting Avery and being in a relationship with him made her less afraid of being in a relationship, if that makes sense. what I mean by that is that, she loves him so much that, her fear isn't going to spot her from being with him or experiencing a relationship.

15. Describe a defining moment in your character's life that marked a turning point or significant change in their path.

I hate that im repeating myself lol BUT I haven't been able to show much yet bc i havent touched my gameplay due to broken mods v.v but Avery meeting Alphie was a turning point for him!!! this post specifically under the cut, he gained the cheerful trait. I don't think that would ever happen if he didnt meet them. Being around a cheerful, outgoing and social person really pushed him to be more social and talk to people outside his friend group & doing things he doesn't usually do! Avery has always kept to himself and tends to be quiet around others especially people he doesn't know, but I think these days he tries to talk to strangers and initiate small talk.

13. Does your character have any recurring dreams or nightmares? How do these dreams affect them?

oof this one might be triggering since im going to go into topics of verbal & physical abuse and alcohol abuse. Proceed with caution please!

He has nightmares about being hit by his father while he (his dad) is drunk. His father would verbally and physically abuse both Juno and his mother. His parents constantly fought and argued because Juno's dad came home from work late a lot so his mom would imply he's out cheating (he was) and he'd deny it and get pissed... Juno would get in between the two especially when his dad tried to hit his mother. So he'd always take the punches he'd get told he's a worthless, disappointing son and he has no idea why he worked so hard if his only son is going to be a loser. Mind you, this was when Juno was a teenager, he was always rambunctious and a troublemaker bc of his parents, but he didn't and doesn't deserve to be told he's nothing because he's lost and didn't know (at the time) what he wanted to do with his life after graduation.

Obviously, the abuse he faced and witnessed affected him as an adult. Ya'll already know he in non-committal, he sells drugs as a side hustle and he ghosts his "lovers" yea it really did fuck him up v.v

[sunshowersanddandelionwine]

Once in A Blue Moon Update #6 Current word count: 18,446

Sniffling slightly, he doubled over in a headrushing sneeze, blinking the stars from his eyes at the force of it. Being stuffed in a flying tin can had massacred his sense of smell, filling his head with nothing but body odor and bravado. Now freed to the open sky, he breathed in deep, clearing his sinuses of the thick, roiling stetch of sweat and musk from braggart marines and upstart officers, and welcomed the rush of fresh air. Oil, gunpowder, and cigarette ash twined through the freshness, a combination almost welcoming in its familiarity. The start of a smile clawed at the corner of his covered mouth, smothered almost instantly by the rising wall of nerves. There was no one on the airfield there to greet him. It wasn’t much of a surprise. He’d actually been originally scheduled to arrive hours later than he had, closer to sunset and the end of the work day. Thanks to a mix up with the pilots, they had stuffed him into the first available seat and bombarded him with apologies from the administrative team. Nothing arrived from John Price, his potential new captain, save for a single message letting Roach know that he wouldn’t be able to greet him immediately, but telling him to find him in his office to meet the rest of the team. The icy touch of trepidation trailed down his spine, followed closely behind by the sticky touch of cold sweat. The team. The 141. His team. Pack? It was too early to tell, disregarding his thoughts on the matter. (He didn’t want a pack anymore. He didn’t. Not after every rejection and failure and mistake. But a pseudo bond was inevitable. A ticking clock, counting down to doomsday. He couldn’t afford it, wouldn’t bear it, if he tried to make the bond solid with them. Chose them, and didn’t have them chose him in return. Roach didn’t know if he could survive this time, not again.) He stood on the dark asphalt of the airfield for who knows how long, the rest of his travel companions long disappeared into the buildings surrounding him. A questioning look from an flight engineer and a movement as if to approach had him scuttling off, bags in hand, gracelessly tumbling into the closest building with a grunt and a grimace. In a rare show of mercy from whatever higher power might exist, he met no one in the sparse, white-tiled hallway. The whining hiss of air through the ventilation systems filled his ears and the taste of stagnant, stale air hit his throat with force, and he felt his eyes water slightly from the overwhelming sensations. His eyes shut without his knowledge, and he leaned heavily against the nearest wall, head sagging between his shoulders as he panted. The thin gaiter around his nose and mouth suffocated him. Green-brown gloves encased his hands in layers of concrete. The bag on his back dragged him down, down, down into the earth. Heat pulsed in his skin. His flesh bubbled and dripped down into the dirt, leaving the white of his skeleton to bleach in the sun. Just like Simon. He’d always wanted to be just like him. He couldn’t breathe through the smoke, his shriveled lungs charring black, flaking away into gray ash and dust. Red droplets sizzled where they landed, hissing snakelike and fierce. A thousand snakes in his ears. A thousand snakes on his skin. Drowning him. Someone was laughing. Someone was shouting. Venom burned. Fire raged. He choked. can’t breathe can’t breathe can’t breathe can’t breathe can’t- “Uh… sir? Are you alright?”

i think my mom passed on something from one of her patients to me lol so i havent been able to write for a while but have this little thing i guess idk what im doing anymore

[kosmicdream]

NEW DOLLS to report............ Gore-ganizer Draculaura - for a while i was not planning on getting her cuz of the price and how simple the doll was.. but.. i also just loved her face details so much that i caved in. and now her face details are probably my favorite of the g3 dracs so far! so i am glad i got her. I also use the organizer thing to store my 40000 unused MH accessories. so thats nice. it took a long time to get here tho for some reason..?? Ghouls Rule Frankie - so.. this dolls kinda old! (2012 wow!) but i got them new in box from a seller on ebay. i was not planning on getting this one but the person selling gave me a discount so i just... kind of impulse grabbed it.. i always wanted more old MH dolls that are “new” in box and i really liked the face details on this one, so i am glad to get them! the only other old MH doll i have “new in box” was my neigthan rot. so im happy to have two of them now. unfortunately, frankie has mega glue hair but i suppose thats to be expected.. i kinda doubt i’ll do anything tho cuz the hair is already like, styled in a certain way so it sorta doesnt matter. lol also: man i love the designs and color schemes of the older MH dolls but i always feel like im gonna snap their little arms..!! i have to say i like how the new G3 mh dolls feel to pose and such much more. they just feel a lot sturdier!  Shadow High S2: Dia Mante - i love that she has short hair but god damn. the glue. i washed mine once because it just was so nasty to touch and now theres like, some random tinsel hairs poking out so she looks crazy but its fine. i also dont really like the shade of purple used for her base but i love the outfit. i kind of hated seeing the new shadow high series 2 because they just.. dont look like shadow high dolls tome (but what do i know ig) i just wanted more monochrome grey/black/white dolls. i thought they looked so good that way! i feel like theres a lot of repetitive purples in this series too. either way, i have warmed up to the new line up but i just ended up having to not think of them as shadow high dolls for me to like them more LOL Shadow High S2: Zooey Electra - This one was my clear fav of the group and the one i wanted the most so im happy to have her! i love the alien look and her brown eyes are pretty cute too. i wish she had 2 outfits tho ngl.. i miss that feature LOL.. mine also has a slight factory defect (or im suspecting) cuz her ear holes are kinda higher than normal and the earrings fall out super easily. one of her arms can hyper extend/bend backwards and the other one really struggles to bend. theres also like a tiny mark on her leg. either way, i still love the doll. i think cuz its so simple in design the flaws stick out a bit more lol Shadow High S2: Reina “Glitch” Crowne - Yeah! i liked her a lot. she reminded me of the 2 pack twins so she at least felt like one of the “more colorful” SH dolls that still felt like. part of SH. i like how her undersuit looks when you take off her dress thing. mine also doesnt have too much product in her hair but i havent washed it yet. even tho i feel like shes really simple, i really like the face makeup. Besides that, i still think i like S1 of shadow high way more and felt way more excited to get more of the dolls.. but these are still pretty nice and i like that they’re cheaper lol. thats it for now

[daedalusdavinci]

i know you didn't intend this, but your fic new growth made me lowkey ship harvey and talia and now i'm a little hurt no one else has written any kind of dynamic for them

thats hilarious. i love doing that to people im ngl. im also shocked no ones written anything! i mean theyre two of bruces most iconic exes, and people write bruces exes hooking up w each other all the time. plus, there is a SLIGHT basis for it in canon (which is more than exists for harv n clark, but theyve got fics). i honestly think it has to do w the fact that the dent system just... doesnt fucking have a lot of fics to begin w (im p sure theyre written as villains in other ppls stories usually), and while i havent checked the bruce n talia tag, im certain its in a sorry state just based off of other fics ive seen w her. ppl r not kind to talia in this fandom (and we know whose fault that is!) and the dent system is. woo. thats a whole other conversation

but! i must enable you anon.

we know that in canon, harvey and 2f are both demonstrated to have a thing for women that can kick their asses. they are. fucking hilarious abt this, actually. im not going to touch on the renee thing at all bc ive never read any of those comics but their reaction to manhunter (probably 2f?) makes me fucking laugh. she nearly kills them and theyre like damn is she single? lol. get a GRIP pLS 😭 and the fact that harvey does actually hit on talia once while she goes turncoat on the rogues and manages to evade every single one of them? you know they like her. if nothing else, they have to respect her. its harder for me to speak to whether or not talia would like them, but harvey and bruce are parallels in a lot of ways, and she has a much greyer sense of morality than bruce, so do that w that

i also just have to say i love the potential of their dynamic purely as like. this is a person bruce has loved and been changed by and i have to find respect and appreciation for what they meant to him. i think they have a lot of potential as good friends in aus where the system is a little more morally gray or trying to recover, and ive always believed that most good friendships in fiction can be improved w a little flirting. and i definitely think the system would flirt. bc harvey and 2f are. insufferable actually, oh my god. i dont think i acknowledge that in fics nearly enuff bc its bruce and bruce is Bruce and so its different bc hes Too Valuable to lose but they are actually kind of obnoxious flirts im ngl to u??? why are they like this.

im not sure where im going w this but lol its early here

[rouge-the-bat]

HEY ROUGE who is the most aroace sonic character

i actually have a list of my hcs for sonic characters bc i was planning to make icons of em sometime! tho i havent touched it in sooo long so it needs some revising for some New Thoughts that have changed or gotten more specific, and i just wanna think more on some i didnt focus on much yet or never fully settled on

but anyways! the sonic chars i for sure headcanon as fully aroace are Big and Omega! i also hc Big as a demiboy (tho potentially also genderfluid and/or bigender 🤔), and Omega as agender! Omega may also be a bit quoiromantic hmm... actually i probably see Eggman as aroace too? how do i not have him on my hc list. ig this list was more wip than i thought hfjshjf

additionally i hc Infinite as aroace (and agender too), and also straight-leaning (maybe aesthetic attraction?). as in like, he has no interest or desire in romantic or sexual relationships but he would die if a pretty girl flirted with him. not that hed let that be known 🔪

i could also absolutely see Sonic as aroace as well but i moreso hc him as aro bisexual! i do have a lot of romantic ships (esp polyam) with him but i dont ship them as heavily anymore, i dont always ship within my hcs anyways. aro Sonic is just very very good :> dude just wants to befriend everyone

and now *cracks knuckles* (sorry knuckles) onto Me And My Boy. this is where i get the most hyperspecific lol. Rouge is bi lesbian & genderfluid, while Shadow is lesbian & agender. both are demiromantic and demisexual, moreso aroace but with an exception only for each other. Rouge experiences a bit of aesthetic attraction otherwise as well, but no desire for anyone besides Shadow.

also shoutout to Elise who i hc as demiromantic-pan and ace :> AND OH SHIT I NEEDA ADD SAGE TO MY LIST ooo i gotta do some Thinks for her. she could potentially be aroace but unsure, i havent considered her identity much yet

so whos the MOST aroace in the sonic series?? i suppose Big, thats some solid aroace-ness from that big lad. love him. hes the main one im very for-sure on being completely aroace. 10/10 would sleep on his belly

[horrorknife]

why do you like jake so much?

because i love it when characters are difficult and complicated and their characterization escapes the vast majority of a fanbase. there is SO MUCH to jakes character and a lot of it gets misconstrued/misunderstood or straight up just blown past. also jake has a lot of "required reading" as i like to call it irt movies, many of the movies and medias he enjoys can be looped back around into the reader's understanding of him; big examples here are princess bride (which i actually havent seen yet but i Understand how it impacts him), avatar, and i would say even his interest in comics! Everything is Something with jake.

if were gonna use avatar for example. You might think Oh jonah. This is just his silly joke interest! which yeah thats true but it absolutely can be both and i choose to interpret it as such. but if youve seen avatar then youve seen the way neytiri and jakes relationship operates. Its literally dirkjake in a different font you guys. an important sentiment i always come back to with avatar is "i see you". jake wants to be Seen and Understood and Known but he is also very scared of being Seen and Understood and Known because he is, more than anything, a Faker. he hides the truth and even squirrels it away from himself and this is the thing that causes a lot of his internal strife and etc. in avatar jake sully at the end of the movie makes the choice to become a na'vi and be with neytiri. he literally changes himself to be with her (and ironically turns himself into a Blue Guy to be with the Blue Girl) and i think this is probably a really easy and quick way to explain the Jake Camouflage. jake Pretends and Fakes because he wants people to like him. he is desperate for validation and approval from other people to the point where it wears heavily on his wellbeing. this is one of my favorite things to play around with.

jakes relationship with gender and sexuality is also a really heavy hitter for me, i love gender and exploring gender and talking about gender because it is the Core of me as a Person. i <3 being nonbinary i will never shut up about it. Anyway. the way jake haphazardly traipses through all of his interactions with women he is "supposed to" be attracted to just screams closeted gay guy to me. like. Check this out.

here jake is having an argument with 'himself' (bgd) about his attraction to aranea and how hes having intrusive sexual thoughts about her but "theyre just thoughts they dont mean anything im not trying to have them!" comes off to me like "Please Someone Fucking Save Me From Forcing Myself To Like Girls To Fill The Part Of A Macho Man Which I Know I Am Not". jakes relationship with jane is a fucking disaster because theyre both trying to appeal to a cishetnormative read of themselves (and for jane she pastes that onto both of them) and play the part of their agabs (tmasc nonbinary butch lesbian jane and tfem nonbinary gay jake household sorry if you came here for something different) while failing spectacularly.

when it comes to gender jake really enjoys his extremes--he loves peak masculinity and he loves peak femininity but he HATES the idea of being a man (his own words!) cue: the excerpt everyone sources.

i have a Lot that i could say about this exchange but this is already a really long post so im gonna try and wrap shit up here.

i could honestly talk about this All Day and write several thousand words about jake alone (notice how i didnt touch on dirkjake at all here. Yeah thats because it would be the worlds longest post ever if i did. We can save that for a rainy day LOL) but for your own sanity anon i will abstain. Um yeah but this is just a quick snippet of my Thoughts. i have a lot more and i definitely left a lot of things out here but im always happy to infodump like this if i get prompted :-)

[celestie0]

WOW ITALY THAT'S EXCITING! I’ve always wanted to visit Europe (or anywhere outside Asia) but I haven’t gotten the chance yet 😭💔 ESPECIALLY ITALY. I NEED TO EAT AT LEAST ONE PLATE OF PASTA IN ITALY BEFORE I DIE 👹

but oh my gosh it does suck to travel around when you aren’t feeling your best :((( I hope you’re feeling a lot better now, ellie! get lots of rest and drink plenty of water !! (not me lecturing the med student LMAO)

as for me, I’m doing good! I’ve been lazing around, enjoying my last few weeks of freedom before uni starts. I’ve also been self-studying pre-calc ! I took AP stats back in high school because the uni I was originally aiming for allowed students to take stats instead of calc so I never properly studied pre-calc and calc 😭 (I was homeschooled btw so my subjects were pretty flexible) but plans changed and I decided to enroll in a different uni that required to take both stats and calc for the course I’m taking soooo 💔😭

but on a happier note, I’m meeting up with a close friend I haven’t seen since her family moved to Australia about 10 years ago !! her flight is in a couple of weeks and I’m sooo soo excited wbdjssj!! we’re gonna gossip about lame irl boys and gush about hot fictional men for sure 🤫

that’s all from me for now! I hope you’re enjoying your vacation so far! 💖

- 🫶 anon

HIII darling omg i’m so sorry this took me a while to respond to things were a lil hectic over here 😭😭😭

HAHAH no fr the pasta here is magnificent and the pizza too. literally the most random spots on the side of the road have like the best pizza i’ve ever eaten in my life. it almost makes the travel nausea n dehydration n chronic exhaustion worth it 🤣🤣 (i am such a delicate person)

thanks my love!! gosh idk i’ve just been STRUGGLINGGG out here like my body really struggles when it’s been taken out of its ecosystem n i am feeling the effects 🥲😅 buuuuut we’re flying back home today n tomorrow so :”) im gonna be happy to be home, except i leave for roadtrip right after buuuut at least it’ll be in the states where there is iced coffee n central air conditioning. BUT I STILL LOVED ITALY SM I DONT WANT TO SOUND LIKE I WASNT SO HAPPY N GRATEFUL TO GET TO TRAVEL HERE 💗💗💗

yesss my love enjoy that freedom!! hope you’ve been indulging in hobbies that may have escaped you when busy <3 ik that’s what i used to do when i had breaks from school lol. ALSO SAME I TOOK AP STATS IN HS TOO EYYY also noooo omg that sucks but it’s ok bb!! soon enough it’ll be over n you never have to look at calculus ever again 😭 it’s so good that you’re pre studying for it tho i think that’ll really help you for sure!!

AW OMG FRIEND REUNION THATS SO SWEET i hope you two have the best time!! seeing ppl you havent seen in forever is soooo crazy but sm fun cuz it’s like wow sm has changed but sm has stayed the same too n it’s like wow. especially chidlhood friends!! have u guys kept in touch over the years or is this sort of out of the blue meet up after being apart for a while?

thaaaank youu darling i am typing this ask out while suffering from a mild tummy ache so tysm for the sweet words that have distracfed me temporarily from the pain 🤣 much love from me!!

- ellie 💕

[neteluvr-library]

i was actually half way done with this chapter before realizing i was on chapter 4 and not 3 so that explains why i was confused bc i was like where tf did the birthday scene go?

“Who is going to stop you?” you laugh, and the sounds reverberates through his body and settles deep in his soul. He’s heard this sounds countless times in the 14 years he’s known you. It never ceased to amaze him. 

If anyone thought this about my laugh i would have to marry them on the spot *dreamy sigh*

...feels a pang of hurt as he considers the fact you didn’t think of him when reading a book so close to your heart.

He's such a sensitive baby ):

“Ah, there is it.” You cleared your throat, then continued. “He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

I LOVE THIS QUOTE SO MUCH. it's so lovely and warm. this quote plus the quote from cruel summer where vol says she doesn't know where she ends and neteyam starts are my absolute favorite. ITS SO ROMANTIC AND DREAMY AND I CANT COPE WITH HOW MUCH IT MAKES ME FEEL MUSHY ): to be so in love and love someone that you think you are the same ): I WANT THAT SO BAD IN MY LIFE...you have raised my standards for love. also i need to add pride and prejudice to my reading list but i am determined to finish emma first

“Pandora’s box.”, you thought to yourself, with a bitter chuckle.

Wow i too have a pandora's box full of memories and things i want to forget and avoid...except its in my brain

“Yeah, me and Max worried about that, but, Ace… you have weathered every storm life’s thrown at you like a champ and I think beyond this great unknown lays a future so bright it will be able to make this planet shift on its axis.”

I meant great for Atan...but Norm doesn't realize just because Atan has weathered many storms...does not mean she wants to weather another one 😭

You started poking your body in different spots and let out a small laugh at the feeling: it felt like touching soft metal.

I've always thought that the Na'vi have leathery like skin ? AM I THE ONLY ONE ??

You left the room smiling. You will make him eat his words, and you will enjoy every minute of it.

VERY VI CODED OF ATAN TO THINK THIS

“Damn, you’re hot this way, too. This is unfair, you know? But also somehow makes me feel better that it turns out I’m not into a different species altogether, just one girl.” 

I KNOW YOU HAVENT SEEN THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY BUT IF YOU EVER WATCH IT, LOAK IS SO JEREMIAH!!!! (if you reblog this and if any of your followers see this...please tell me im right.) AND NETEYAM IS CONRAD OHFUIEHFRFVJNVEN. and if you ever watch it andra, tell me im right too

Her stripes were somehow more accentuated than normal, and they reminded him of his own.

they are always connected somehow ): even in her avatar body, atan was meant to match neteyam. THEY ARE MADE OF THE SAME SOUL

“I don’t know you, Neteyam.”

YEAH BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK IS THE NETEYAM IN FRONT OF ATAN ACTING LIKE HE DOESNT LOVE HER WITH EVERY FIBER IN HIS BEING????

Your emotions impact her, your thoughts impact her, so you have to calm your mind.Easier said than done in your case, I fear.” 

I'm a basket case half the time so i would not be able to bond with any of pandora's animals lol

“Well, I want to be strong and capable so I can always protect you. I mean look at you, Tuk’s gonna be stronger than you soon.” 

NO HE DOESNT GET TO SAY THAT WHILE ACTING LIKE A COMPLETE ASSHAT....okay wait just realized this was a flashback MY BAD 😭 I SHOULD HAVE READ MORE CAREFULLY

Soon enough, you could taste the metal taste of blood that was lingering in the air and by the grace of whatever spirit was out there still looking after you, you felt yourself collapse in Neteyam’s arms. 

No because this was so sad ): atan just has straight trauma..but also this would a very traumatic thing to witness. like she already doesn't know her father and is iffy about him. but to see his bones abandoned in the forest like he didn't belong to anyone? ID BE SCARRED TOO...also this makes me very sad because its just *spoiler* another instance of where neteyam feels be only brings negativity to atan's life ):

OKAY ITS CURRENTLY....12:57. IM GONNA AIM TO FINISH CHAPTER 5 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE'RE GETTING CLOSER TO THE JUICY STUFF.

Illicit Affairs | Chapter IV: Evermore

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: You and Neteyam both have to navigate a lot of painful memories on your first day in a new body

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, descriptions of ptsd flashbacks, cursing

Word Count: 6,2k words

A/N: Chapter 4 is the longest chapter I have written so far. There's definitely some fluff in there and some light hearted, beautiful moments, but it's also the darkest chapter I have written so far. There's some heavy stuff in there, so please read with caution! I wanted my characters to be well rounded and for there to be a good reason for every action they take; why the reader is a recluse, why Neteyam behaves the way he does, and why he left. There's layers to their story that will be unveiled through memories from both the main characters, so I hope you stick around to see where I plan to take this story <3 I never expected people to like it so much, and I hope you guys like what I have planned!

"I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone Trying to find the one where I went wrong And I couldn't be sure, I had a feeling so peculiar That this pain would be for Evermore"

“Am I allowed to be here?” Neteyam says, carefully taking in the new environment that he’s never wondered through before. It was small and dark, his eyes needing a second to adjust to the contrast from the bright neon orbs that illuminated the hallways. His nose scrunched up, trying to assimilate the smell, and realised it just smells like you. 

“Who is going to stop you?” you laugh, and the sounds reverberates through his body and settles deep in his soul. He’s heard this sounds countless times in the 14 years he’s known you. It never ceased to amaze him. 

You take off your Converse shoes and throw them carelessly to the side, jump on the bed and reach for the light on the other side of it, sitting on the bedside table. The lamp turns on and Neteyam finds himself having to adjust to the brightness once more. He settles on the chair that was accompanying a small messy desk, filled with papers, books and electronic tablets that had something you called a graph on it. The words “cell viability” were written on top of it, but Neteyam didn’t know what that meant, so he turned his attention to the many, many books that were displayed on the shelves above the desk. 

He’s seen some of them before, some of them multiple times, as you did seem to have your favourites. He picked one up he recognised. It was called Pride and Prejudice and Neteyam assumed it was written by a person named Jane Austen. He knew you loved this book, but he’s never asked why.

“I love that one…” you started.

“I know” he says in Na’vi. “I just don’t know why.”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you. My mum read me paragraphs from it growing up, and it’s just a book that brings me comfort. I’ve read it so many times, I’ve memorised it, so it’s like a blanket. It makes me feel safe.”

“What is it about?” Neteyam probed further.

You thought about it for a second. 

“It’s a story about two people who come from different worlds, and their journey of understanding each other and overcoming their feelings of, you guessed it, pride and prejudice towards one another and towards each other’s world.”  

He sat with this new information for a while. “So like us?” 

“Mmm, I don’t think it’s like us at all. I think it’s more about my mum and dad, or at least I think my mum thought of her and dad when reading it.”

Your words upset him, he realises in slight surprise. He looks at your figure sprawled over the bed looking up at the ceiling above you in contemplation and feels a pang of hurt as he considers the fact you didn’t think of him when reading a book so close to your heart.

“I have a quote from another book that reminds me of you, though.” Almost as if you read his mind, you turned your head towards him with a smirk and raised an eyebrow.

He didn’t look at you, a small pout erupting from his lips without meaning to. You laugh at him and smile endearingly, softly shaking your head. 

You jump from the bed, slightly wincing when your left leg registers the action, and click your tongue at him so he can move from where he was sat. He obliged and found another spot on the bed, which was now emanating the warmth of your body, and he slowly touched the blanket as if trying to commit the feeling to memory. You climbed on the chair with another small wince and found a book on the uppermost shelf. You jumped from the chair straight on to the bed and fell next to him. 

Patting the spot next to you, you signalled for him to lie down. He did, although his legs were completely off the bed, the tiny contraption barely able to accommodate his torso. You let out a small laugh, but seemed happy to have him so close. 

You placed your head on his chest, and he prayed you couldn’t hear the way his heart felt like it was trying to escape his ribcage at your proximity and warmth. You opened the book and looked for the quote. 

“Ah, there is it.” You cleared your throat, then continued. “He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” 

“Get the fuck out of my room, Neteyam.”

You had just finished washing the day off when you heard a small knock on the door. Still reeling from the fight, it was taking everything out of you to muster up the strength to open that door and deal with whatever was waiting on the other side. With a deep sigh, you did so anyway. It was surprising for you to find Jake peering at you from the other side of the open door, a curious look on his handsome face. 

“Hey kid. We’re going to get going now. I just wanted to talk to you for a second before hand. Can I come in?” 

You hesitated for a second, then moved so he could enter. 

“So..” He started awkwardly. “I don’t really know how to do this.” You saw his left hand reaching behind his head and scratching his scalp with a small laugh. 

His eyes drop to a little package he was holding, wrapped in the same sort of cloth as the other gifts had been. He didn’t look at you as he spoke.

“Your mum gave me this, a couple of weeks before she passed. She asked me to hold on to it and give it to your on your 18th birthday.”

Your breath stopped in your lungs. He peered at you with a sad look and handed you the little box. A small video camera, like the ones used to record the Avatar program video logs was now resting peacefully in between your hands. 

“I hope whatever’s on there will give you some peace of mind, kid. I know life’s not been kind to you, but it’s time… time to move on, you know?” 

He got up from his spot on the bed and silently made his way out of the room. “See you tomorrow?” 

With your back to him, you gave him a nod, and with that, he was gone, closing the door behind him.

You stood like that, in the same position, with the camera in your hand for a long enough time that your left leg was starting to ache, an ache that eventually overtook the one in your soul and with that, you took the camera and the bracelet you removed from Neteyam’s hands and shoved them both in the bottom drawer of your desk. “Pandora’s box.”, you thought to yourself, with a bitter chuckle. 

You woke up with a groan, and the meanest headache known to man. Yesterday felt like you did in fact have the biggest party this world has ever seen, and the hangover to match. You scrambled out of bed, still in the dark, and searched on top of your desk for the little bottle of Ibuprofen you keep for days just like this. Today’s the day…

Norm enters your room quietly, and is surprised to see you up already. “So nervous you couldn’t sleep?” He says with a tentative smile.

“Something like that.” 

“Hey…you’re happy about this, right? Tell me we haven’t done this for almost a decade for no reason, cause you know, we can’t just give someone else the Avatar.” he says, with an uncomfortable chuckle. 

“I’m happy, Norm. It’s just a lot to take in, you know? A lot is going to have to change, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t tend to do well with change.” you response, laughing to yourself.

“Yeah, me and Max worried about that, but, Ace… you have weathered every storm life’s thrown at you like a champ and I think beyond this great unknown lays a future so bright it will be able to make this planet shift on its axis.” 

You throw your head back and laugh loudly, “Wow, that’s a lot of trust right there. I’ll try not to disappoint.” 

If only Norm knew… knew how you have not been able to brave any storm, and how the storms, in time, turned to tornadoes and then hurricanes and then bigger hurricanes and all you’ve done your whole life is just move further in to the middle of the shelter hoping that someday they’ll just go away by themselves and when they do, there’s still some walls, any walls, surrounding you. 

You put some of Grace’s old workout clothes on and made your way to the Avatar room and properly looked at it, probably for the first time in your life. You used to love coming here as a kid, looking at the scientists in their link pods, at your mum in hers, sitting in Max’s lap and watching the brain activity, bombarding him with questions with answers you couldn’t’ possibly comprehend yet. You’ve moved away from that fascination in time. Now here you stood, about to get your own linkpod and your own brain activity analysed. You peered in the room next to it, where on a big flat metal table lay a blue body, and you couldn’t help yourself from moving closer until your breath was so close to the window in was fogging up the glass. You placed a hand on the cold glass and stared at the new you, and a small smile appeared on your face. It was beautiful, more so than you ever thought your human form to be. Your heart picked up pace in your chest and you were shocked at the realisation that the nerves that you thought only reflected fear and anxiety, also reflected excitement. 

“It’s time.” Max said from somewhere behind you.

You turned and made your way with timid steps towards the linkpod. You climbed on it and the feeling of the green malleable foam woke up a memory inside you, that you fought to push back to where it came from. Now’s not the time. It was cold on your arms and thighs as you lay in it, but weirdly comfortable, like what you would imagine water mattresses you saw in old Hollywood movies to feel. 

Max placed a metal frame of sorts on top on your own and spoke slowly. “Okay, you know the drill, Ace. You have to relax and let your mind go blank. You will be disoriented when you wake up, so take your time in there and don’t rush. Please don’t do a Jake.” 

You chuckled at the story you’ve heard one too many times, but never seemed to get tired of it. 

“We will have to run tests to make sure everything is in order. This is new territory for all of us, and we don’t know how the Avatar will behave yet, so we will take our time and do it right.” 

“Aye aye, Captain.”

You did as you were told and found it hard to relax and let your mind go blank when it was running a million miles an hour with so many emotions, so many thoughts and worries. Still, with all your might, you sat there, and cleared your mind for a split second. It was enough. 

You woke up like from a dream, feeling groggy and tired. Your muscles hurt, a lot. You winced slightly at the gentle touch of a hand, which felt like that time you touched the inside of an electrical socket and got slightly electrocuted. You felt clothes clinging to your body and hated the way the synthetic fabric felt against your skin. You took your first breath and your nose crinkled in disgust at the overbearing smell of alcohol and chloride. 

“Ace? C’mon kid, there you go, you can do it.” 

You finally opened your eyes and groaned at the intense light on the ceiling. Your eyes took a while to focus, but when they did, you saw Norm staring back at you with a smile.

“Hi.” you said, with a deep frown and groggy voice. This was overwhelming. 

“Hi back! Take it easy, alright? Me and Claire will runs some tests to make sure everything’s a-okay. It will take about an hour, I know this whole experience can be a bit strange in the beginning, so hopefully this will ease you into it.”

Norm was a man of his word, and after about an hour of wiggling every part of your body, touching your fingers to your nose, remembering names of objects and repeating it to them, among other things, you were ready to go. You realise to your surprise that you’re excited about going outside. You couldn’t stand the sensation overload that came with being in this lab, in this body. You stood up gently and removed the chords that were still attached to you. You turned around to look at the glass that was reflecting your new figure back at you, and found yourself at a loss for words for the millionth time in 24 hours. It was such a strange feeling, and you knew it would take you a while to get used to looking in the mirror and be met with this. You smiled and waved, knowing Max would be watching you from behind the glass, even though you couldn’t see it. 

Norm handed you a bag, and you peered inside to find a beige loincloth and the top Neytiri gifted you yesterday. “Go change, I think you’ll feel better in these.” 

You did as you were told. Removing the white hospital garb you had on, you looked at yourself fore the first time, properly looked. You were tall. Very tall. And skinny, very skinny. Lean was probably a better word for it, as you couldn’t see an ounce of fat anywhere on your body. You started poking your body in different spots and let out a small laugh at the feeling: it felt like touching soft metal. You were strong. The thought made you happy. You looked again in the mirror at your face. Big yellow eyes looked at you curiously. They traced your nose, and your plump lips and your white freckles, beautiful like the night sky. Your eyes settled on your hair, long and soft and dark and your arm reached behind you to bring your braid into focus. You lifted it and looked in awe at the queue and the way the tendrils were moving on their own accord. Adrenaline was coursing through your veins like water breaking apart mountains to make a canyon of your mind. 

Neteyam’s words suddenly broke through.  “You’re not going to make it.” 

Adrenaline turned into rage and you hated it, hated the boy in that moment. Hated the effect his words had on you, even after so much time. You dressed slowly and tried to make sense of the “top” Neytiri gave you. Once you put it on, you looked back in the mirror and loved the way it looked on you. You also had a newfound appreciation for the soft feel of the feathers and the beads, and took note of the contrast between it and the unnatural feeling hospital gown you were in a few minutes ago. If it wasn’t for your eyebrows and your five fingers and your soft, straight hair, you wondered if anyone could be fooled into thinking you are, in fact, Na’vi. 

“You know nothing about the real world.” 

Dropping the clothes in the bag provided, you took one last look at yourself and saw something in your eyes that wasn’t there before. Determination. The sick, stubborn determination that has always made you push out all reason as soon as someone tells you you can’t do something. 

“Tell Norm no.”

You left the room smiling. You will make him eat his words, and you will enjoy every minute of it.

You reached for the mask packs by the entrance and dropped your hand. You will never have to wear that damn mask again, you thought with satisfaction. As you stood outside, it felt again like emerging in your avatar body for the first time. So many sounds, colours, sensations flooded your being and you couldn’t even register the voice yelling your name until the person that spoke it took you by the shoulders. You hissed at the sudden contact and it shocked you. Where did that come from? 

“Angel, you there?” 

“Give her a second, Lo’ak. This is bound to overwhelm her and you yelling at her isn’t going to speed up the process.”

“I can’t believe she just hissed at me.” 

The world slowly seemed to settle around you, and you focused you sight on the boy in front of you… the boy who was now your height.

“Lo’ak?” 

“Hey, you.” The younger Sully boy gave you a big smile and eyed you intently up and down a few times. “Damn, you’re hot this way, too. This is unfair, you know? But also somehow makes me feel better that it turns out I’m not into a different species altogether, just one girl.” 

You laughed, really laughed. Lo’ak was a charmer, another one of the many many traits he inherited from his dad. 

“You’re shorter than I thought you’d be.” 

“Ouch.” You knew he wasn’t really offended, so you blew a kiss towards him and shifted your attention to the world, that you realise you have never seen before. Not properly. Its beauty left you speechless. You don’t know how you were supposed to function when all you wanted to do is just walk around, smelling the flowers. 

“We have to get going, you’re going to start your training today, and your new boss is not going to be happy if you’re late.”

“My new boss?”

“Yep. Neteyam has been given the tough job of taking your lab ass and turning it into a Na’vi warrior. I have to say, I don’t envy him,  and I definitely don’t envy you.” 

“Lo’ak, shut up.” 

Well, this is going to be fun… You had a hunch Neteyam would have to train you, as Lo’ak is too young and restless and cares about the rules too little, or not at all, to do it, but hearing it as a fact made you shudder. You haven’t spent a whole day with Neteyam in years, and you didn’t particularly care for this new-and-improved version of himself. You wondered silently how this was going to go. If the last two interactions are anything to go by, you were not in for a happy time.  

“Lo’ak should be here any second. I want you to start training her right away. Maybe start with the Pa’li first, and do bow training when that gets too much. You won’t really have to teach her the language, but try to make sure you talk in Na’vi more than in English, and this way you’ll see if there are any gaps in her knowledge and address them. Neteyam, are you listening?” 

The oldest Sully sibling was only half paying attention to what his dad was telling him. In truth, he was scared half to death. He didn’t want to do any of this. This is not how any of this was supposed to go. He couldn’t be around you. He didn’t want to be around you and he most definitely didn’t want to have to teach you the ways of the Na’vi and have to put his own training and responsibilities aside for this. He has already had to teach Lo’ak whenever his parents had better things to do and he was getting so fucking tired of being used as soon as it was convenient for other people. 

He pushed the bitter feelings aside. His parents relied on him for a reason, he tried to remember. They relied on him because they trusted him, and because he fought hard to be worthy of that trust. He had no right to complain, not when he knew how much worse it could be… for better or for worse, at least he had parents to rely on him. The thought made him sad, and he felt guilt at the words he spat at you yesterday. He knew they were for the greater good, but he also knew they crossed a line, a line that he might not be able to cross back from. 

He didn’t have time to think about the consequences of his actions, as he heard a yell that pulled him out of his thoughts and he knew it was time to come face to face with his worst nightmare. 

“We’re here!”, screamed Lo’ak, and Neteyam suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at his immature younger brother. 

He made his way outside of the tent, picking up his knife and placing it on the sheath resting beneath his chest. He took a deep breath, one that got lodged in his throat.

Next to Lo’ak was a girl. The most beautiful girl he has ever laid his eyes on. Her stripes were somehow more accentuated than normal, and they reminded him of his own. It was something he was insecure about growing up, the deep contrast something his friends and even family teased him about relentlessly, but now, looking at it on her, he realised they were blind - he was blind - to have ever hated them. Her eyes were now yellow, a big departure from her human eyes, and although it was strange, just like the rest of her, they still felt familiar to him. Like no matter what body she inhabited, her soul would always shine through, always calling out to him like a moth to a flame. He knew then he’d always feel like this about her, for the rest of his life, no matter what she looked like. Fuck.

“Look at you, kid! You look like you belong already!” 

Jake’s voice cut through the tension that you felt sitting here, being eyed at like you were a new cub at the zoo. The stares made you so uncomfortable you felt like you were going to explode, and could not wait until this was no longer a novelty to anyone, including yourself. 

“Thank you, Jake. For everything. I cannot express how grateful I am that you and Neytiri, and the tribe, are so willing to accept me in the village.” 

“No problem, kid. Anyway, we will have plenty of time to discuss everything tonight at dinner, but for now I think you and Neteyam should head off. There’s a lot to learn.”

“Right.” You turned around and gave a half-smile to Lo’ak, who looked at you like you were a deer in headlights. Maybe you did look how you felt. 

You bid a small goodbye to everyone and suddenly found yourself face to face with the only person you didn’t want to see. 

He started walking without saying a word, and you followed him. You refused to say anything to him, there was nothing to say to him after yesterday. Before yesterday, you might have demanded an explanation, you might have demanded he told you what happened to him in the year he abandoned you, what lead to him leaving without a single word, how dare he forget about what he meant to you and what you knew you meant to him, how could he just forsake you like you were nothing; you would have screamed at him and told him you hated him without meaning it and hoped he would just hug you and told you he’s sorry, that he was stupid and that he’ll never leave you again. None of that came out. You were past that. He crossed a line and you knew it in your mind that no explanation would be enough, no excuse would justify his behaviour enough to satisfy you and make you forget. Not anymore. 

His back was to you as he was leading you away from the Sully tent, and for the first time in your life, you saw him for what he was. A leader, a warrior. He was lean and muscular, and his physique reminded you a lot more of Jake than a Na’vi man’s. His shoulders were broader and his arms were bigger, leading to a more accentuated contrast between them and his waist, and you hated yourself for how it made you feel, how your mouth filled with saliva you had to force yourself to swallow and how your pulse increased so rapidly it almost made you dizzy. He was taller than you, taller than Lo’ak and you knew that even in this body, he would still tower over you. You definitely hated how that made you feel. 

He stopped at the entrance to a tent. He opened the flap of the entrance and motioned for you to enter. You obliged without a word. He followed you in and closed the flap behind him. You didn’t like being in such close proximity, but you knew you’d have to get used to it, so you let it go.

“This is now your tent. Mum and Dad thought you would feel more comfortable with your own space. They also thought you’d like my old training bow. There’s a pouch for your knife that you can put around your torso and I have the knife, but I won’t give it to you until I make sure you won’t kill me with it.” 

As far as an attempt to diffuse an awkward situation goes, this wasn’t half bad. Still, not nearly good enough to matter. He sighed at the lack of response.

“Right. I think we have to get a few things straight.”

Your eyebrow raised, but you let him go on.

“I know you’re mad. I know you’re so mad you’re probably thinking of ways of sticking needles in my eyes. But I don’t care. I was given a responsibility to take care of you and to teach you. I know you think you know everything, but you don’t. I know you think you know this world, but you don’t. Not in the way you need to, to survive. There’s a reason no scientist living on Pandora has ever become one of the people. You can’t see. As my grandma always says, “you cannot fill a cup which is already full”. I know you. Your cup is overflowing. From now on, you do what I say. Pretend you don’t know me, pretend we’re not you and me.” 

“I don’t know you, Neteyam.”

He winced inside at the words. “That’s enough!” He said, forcefully. 

“You answer to me from now on and I want to make sure you understand that. Dad will skin me alive if anything happens to you. You will listen and you will do as I say. Whatever issues you have, you’re going to have to deal with them in your own time.” 

Another blow below the belt, you thought, and reminded yourself that you were here for a reason, you were here to make him eat his words, and if he wanted to play his game this way, you were more than happy to beat him at it. 

“Yes, Sir.” 

You made your way out of the village and walked in silence through the woods. You were looking at the bow in your hand, and carefully traced every mark and scratch on its surface. You couldn’t help wonder about what events in Neteyam’s life lead to each and every one of them, and vowed to yourself that you would take care of this bow with your life, if not for anything else, for the still untarnished memory of that little boy you once loved so much. Once you reached a large clearing, with beautiful lush greenery and a majestic waterfall, you thought this was definitely a much better view for training than the reagent-filled benches of the lab. You saw about half a dozen Pa’li peacefully feeding off the sweet nectar of flowers in the distance, and smiled gently at the sight. You will never get used to it, you knew. 

“First step to being a Na’vi, learning to form Tsaheylu and learning to ride the Pa’li.” Neteyam spoke in Na’vi over the soothing sounds of the forest.

“OK.” You answered shortly.

“In Na’vi. We speak Na’vi from now on.”

“Kurkung (asshole).” Neteyam shoots you a dirty look and you can’t help but smirk. “What? That’s Na’vi. Perfect pronunciation, by the way.” 

His mouth tightened in a straight line and he left you, busying himself with a Pa’li he called over. He caressed it gently and held his hand next to his eye, whispering. 

“Tam tam, Tirea, tam tam.” 

“Get on.” He spoke to you still looking at the Pa’li. 

Even in this body, the direhorse was significantly taller than you, and you shot Neteyam an incredulous look. Regardless, you made your way to the animal and with all of your might, willed yourself to get on top of it. It took a couple of tries, but you eventually succeeded. You were stronger than you realised, and you were excited to discover exactly how strong you could become in time. 

Neteyam gently took the neural whip of the direhorse and guided it to you. You took it in your right hand and stared at it in amazement. You have heard so much about this, you have seen it firsthand with Neteyam’s Ikran, but to know you will now have to make your own Tsaheylu, experience this deep bond you knew everything and yet nothing about, it was terrifying. You left hand went behind your head and brought forward your own queue. This was it. Slowly, you brought the two together, and held tightly on to the Pa’li as the new sensation overwhelmed all of your senses. It felt like all of your neurons were firing at the same time. It felt like you were being electrocuted. As the feeling subsided, you felt a breath that was moving at the same time as your own, you felt a second heartbeat that was going much faster than yours possibly could, and you tried to calm yourself down as you knew the nervousness the animal felt was mirroring your own. Neteyam allowed you a second to experience this for yourself with no interruption, and you appreciated that. He trusted you enough to give you some space, and with everything, at least this hasn’t changed.

“This is Tsaheylu. The bond. Take some time to feel her, feel her heartbeat, her breath. Feel her strong legs. You can tell her what to do, inside your mind. Remember that as you can feel her, she can feel you, too. Your emotions impact her, your thoughts impact her, so you have to calm your mind.Easier said than done in your case, I fear.” 

You felt your anger pick up and the Pa’li let out a scream and rose on its hind legs, throwing you straight in the dirt. Neteyam laughed, but came to help you get up. As you were removing mud from your face and hair and cursing all manners of profanities under you breath, you came to the bitter realisation this was going to be harder than you thought, especially with him as your teacher. 

He still knew you too well. You slapped his hand away and got up by yourself, indignantly. You jumped back on the Pa’li and tried your very, very best, to calm yourself before making the bond. The horse didn’t react as violently as last time, so you figured you were off to a better start. You calmed your mind as much as you could, like you did in the linkpod, and imagined her slowly moving forward. You smiled when she did just that, no words needed. It was hard to be able to maintain your composure when you were LITERALLY mind controlling another living being, but despite it needing active continuous effort, you felt you were doing a good job. You managed to make her go, sprint, gallop and turn, and despite the direhorse’s best efforts, you were somehow still tightly attached to its back. 

After a couple of hours, Neteyam told you to get off. He told you to follow him, and he took off, not sparing you a second glance. You followed him the best you could for a while, desperately trying to overlook how uncomfortable being barefoot made you feel. You didn’t like it at all, and more and more, you felt your heartbeat picking up in your chest and your knees shaking. You felt beads of sweat getting in your eyes and they stung, so you stopped. Your laboured breath became shallow, and your hands were shaking uncontrollably as you raised them to wipe your forehead. You felt your knees collapse under you, and you knew what was about to happen and that it was too late to stop it. 

“Neteyam, wait up.” You called after the blue boy, slight panic in your voice.

“I thought we were supposed to be racing.” 

“You win, alright? Don’t leave me alone in the woods.” 

You saw Neteyam jogging back to where you stood with a guilty look on his face. “You know I’d never leave you alone.”

He picked you up and placed you on his back. “After 16 years, have I ever left you alone?” 

“Well, you’ve been training a lot recently and I barely get to see you anymore, so I would say yes, you leave me alone plenty, more than I can say I care for.” 

“Well, I want to be strong and capable so I can always protect you. I mean look at you, Tuk’s gonna be stronger than you soon.” 

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” You pretended to ignore his first sentence and how it lit your entire body on fire. 

You walked like this for a while. You placed your head on his shoulder and peered up at the tall trees. Prolimuris were swinging on them, picking up fruits as they went along. You saw two infants following their mother and stopping on the same branch as her, where she passed them what you were sure was a tasty afternoon snack. You smiled contently at the scene, and at the feeling of warmth Neteyam provided. 

“Put me down, I want to walk! I came with you to exercise, not be carried like a tiny Pandoran baby.” 

He did as you asked, huffing at your forever mercurial temper. 

With your back still to him, you let out a laugh and started running. “Race you to the clearing in the distance?” 

He rolled his eyes, and with a laugh, stopped himself. He always gave you a head start. “Fine, but you can’t get mad when I beat you again!” 

You turned around to give him a smile as you were running and loved the feeling of the ground beneath your feet. The only place you could run around barefoot, the only time you still felt alive. 

You came to an abrupt halt when your foot touched something strange, something unnatural. You slowly looked at your feet and froze in place as the smooth pale object made your blood run cold. It couldn’t be. You stepped away from it, not leaving it from your view and slowly, deliberately knelt down next to it. You heard Neteyam coming to a halt behind you, but couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge his presence. Your hands started digging in the ground with morbid curiosity and the sounds around you became muffled as your erratic heartbeat was the only thing you could still hear. You removed the ground around it and tears formed in your eyes at the realisation that this was indeed what you feared it was: a human skull. A human skull you just stepped on. Before you knew it, your hands were reaching for a glimmer of silver shining in the shallow grave. You lifted it to your eye line and heard yourself scream, wail louder than you ever had before. The panic that overtook you was primal, but not unfamiliar and you threw the dog tag on the ground, with enough force you hoped would bury it further than anybody would ever be able to dig. You couldn’t see properly anymore, the tears and dizziness flooding your senses and you prayed you passed out, prayed to make this stop, prayed you were back in your room where your Xanax always lay by your bedside table. In a blind rage, you were clawing at your feet, trying to remove the dirt, remove the skin that stepped on your dad’s dead body like it was a gum wrapper on the pavement. Soon enough, you could taste the metal taste of blood that was lingering in the air and by the grace of whatever spirit was out there still looking after you, you felt yourself collapse in Neteyam’s arms. 

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi

[whatsnothappening]

I was asked to be his valentine today

As ive said before, i am married. I love this man with all of my heart. We are very newly married but i feel like i have been married to him for years. Now we are just legal. (said that already i know lol) But today he asked me to be his valentine. Something so simple, and it gave me butterflies. I had been joking with him the past couple of days about him asking me, it was an honest joke. I had been seeing on tik tok, facebook etc. of all these girls saying that if their husbands dont ask them to be their valentine then they're not even married lol. But he made sure to ask me, to me i feel that is so sweet. Even with something so simple he made sure to make it happen for me. He knows i dont really care for these hallmark holidays. They're just created and made a big deal for money. We can make any day of the year our valentines day. Valentines day is just the one day of the year where couples are pressured into buying the other something when they need nothing, flowers are brought home to die, disgusting valentines day chocolates are bought to be thrown away and its a day for people who are lonely and single to wonder why they dont have a special someone. (you dont need one, girl/boy live you're life and love your self.. valentines day aint shit.)  I cant stand it. But now i sit here, a hypocrite because i am excited that i was asked to be his valentine. Something that he probably thought i was kidding but wasn't sure and wanted to make sure he was doing right by me and asked me. I find it extremely sweet and it just makes me fall in love with him even more. I am currently in the mindset where i am just at a understanding that not every relationship is perfect and never will be. Everyone will have their ups and downs. I just hate our current negative. This is so uncomfortable to say, but i need his physical touch. I need the warmth of his hands on me. I need him. We havent been able to be intimate in so long because he blames it on his testosterone. Which could be true... but, there is a very big back story to this (i am already preparing myself for the rambling im about to do to try and explain this story) that leads me to believe that it isn't entirely the testosterone. Now, he has been told by doctors that it could be the fact that he is over weight. but we both are.... So why is it that i can beg for him and he never is in the mood. So let me go back a few years. Even before we even got engaged. We have been dealing with this for a long long while. Before our relationship lacked lust we were constantly in each others pants. There was a time together that we weren't at least feeling each other up. I could not keep my hands off of him and he couldn't me. Until all of a sudden it stopped. i mean it just stopped. It wasn't like how you see in movies or dramatic shows where you see random pans of the guy making a move and the girl pretends she's tired/ has her period/ has a head ache. Or where the husband just explains he cant because hes too tired but secretly he has had someone on the side and he literally is drained out. (which i hate that they always play that way, because that could go either way... girls are players too.... aside from the period part.. men cant fake that lol) Now, i am not in any means accusing him of cheating. we have been dealing with this issue for years. i would not have married a man i suspect of cheating. Believe me or not, im sure i sound like every other girl... but the man would never. i know he is in it for the long haul. I think the problem is me. and it isn't that i dont want him. i fucking want him, everyday like i have every day since ive met him. i am absolutely infatuated with the man. but i am not what i was when he first met me. I was thin, i was in shape. I was flexible. now my face is unrecognizable, my body is bigger than it ever was before. i am not desirable anymore. i am not what he finds attractive today. he tells me im beautiful every time i cry to him on why he wont touch me or make love to me anymore. and he tells me how sorry he is. he tells me he will go to the doctor. he promises me that he still loves me and wants me everyday but his body wont let him. he says he tries to get himself in the mood because his mind wants it but his body wont...get up and go. So, if his doctors has told him that considering he is over weight.. and that he has never been able to grow facial hair or whatever else they've told him i would say okay, yes this hurts but it is his testosterone. it has to be. Well my issue is... when his body does work is when we are with other people... we are open. i trust him. i know that even if he is with another women he will come back with me. now we never go off on our own with other people. we just like group activities. at first i wasn't about it because i had never tried anything like that before. i had always thought about it. but i always thought my first time would be with friends or randoms from a bar or whatever. not with the man im going to marry, but i honestly am happy that it went this way because we have been safe about it and he keeps me feeling comfortable and confident during everything. if i still was in shape i dont think i would have much issues with confidence, but with the body i have now...im not used to her. i dont want to be, im trying to get back to being comfortable and healthy but thats a whole other story. so back to when we first started talking about it, i enjoyed talking about it. a lot. it was so fucking hot. it was like we were back to the beginning everything was so fucking fresh and exciting. i loved talking about it. then it fucking lit his flame again. i was full again. i had no issues. everything was perfect again, until i realized that every time we were making love the main topic was having a threesome or having an orgy. He would start everything off with that. He would bring up a scenario and pick my brain about it and then start telling me how sexy he thinks it would be to watch me doing whatever we were talking about with another girl.... i started to freak out, i was panicking. Sex with him started to become empty, i was just going through the motions for a while. until i broke. i told him that we needed to break up because i couldn't offer him what he truly wanted and that i would never make him happy. he was extremely quick to shut that down. he said that a threesome or anything like that meant nothing to him if it meant losing me and that he never wanted to talk about it again. the first time that happened i think we had sex just a few times after that and then we were back to nothing. going to bed sometimes giving a peck and saying goodnight. i dont remember how it was brought up again but it was and i told him i needed time to think about it, we talked about it and went through the motions again and i chickened out. because it felt like the first time. we went back and forth with this for a while. well i think i started to tell myself that i was being ridiculous and that i needed to get out of my head and realize that we both are kinky and we just like sex and obviously something so new would get anyone excited. so i agreed to it. the first time was absolutely horrible. the people that we did it with where absolutely fucking psychotic. needless to say we no longer talk to them. they tried making it seem like we were in a relationship. the next couple of times where amazing. well we stopped doing them because well... life happened and we just had to buckle down and we were trying to plan our wedding. oh yea btw somewhere in this time frame we got engaged. well, i have noticed that ever since we stopped with the group shit we are back to this roommate shit. i mean thats how i feel. i just have a roommate that i now share a bank account with? i mean... am i an idiot for marrying a guy that doesn't want me? i kept saying its a coincidence that his dick just works only when we are talking about sex and having group sex but if he doesn't want me then why would he marry me? why would he even ask me? because we were having these issues before he even proposed.. So what is all of this for. its not a fucking coincidence. im sorry, but it isn't. he no longer is attracted to me. i dont know if he just doesn't realize it or if he is afraid to admit it. but i know thats what it is. i just dont know how to fix it. because the thing is... i am back in the gym i am trying to watch my portion control and just make smarter and healthier choices but it is so annoying because i want to make sure i am doing this for myself and not so he will fuck me.... i want to be happy, i want to be healthy, i want to feel good. i am not going to the gym just so i can get some fucking dick from my husband. i mean god damnitl... who knows if i will even get dick if i lose all this weight (wait not if WHEN i lose all this fuckin weight) because when i do i am probably going to have saggy deflated tits and loose skin everywhere... hed probably prefer me fat. god, imagine if i was going through this after having a child with him. would this make me resent my child? i mean this shit genuinely scares me. it makes your head go through dark shit. do i just confront him and tell him that he needs to really think about it and own up to the shit? or am i just putting thoughts into his head? I literally have no clue... i think my issue with thinking this way is that we have been dealing with this for so fucking long and he has promised to go to the doctor for it but he has yet to do it. and im tired of hearing fucking excuses... it has been years that we have been dealing with this. enough is enough. i guess i can tell him and be honest and explain to him what has been going through my head and tell him that if he doesn't buck up and go to the doctor and i dont see some fucking results then that proves me right. because if it genuinely was his body and he is as broken as he says he is then why the fuck hasn't he taken care of it yet. i mean jesus christ.... anytime he does joke around and get the tiniest bit touchy i am uncomfortable and literally have to tell him to stop because its not normal to me. i havent had his normally constant handsy shit so now im just.... not used to it. what? am i supposed to just be ready to spread my legs when ever hes horny? and thats another thing... he told me “you have to keep in mind, if i ever get touchy dont think that means i automatically want to have sex. im just messing around” WELL, we havent fucked in god knows how long so my bad for hoping that you man handling my tits OUT OF FUCKING NO WHERE makes me hope and prey that i might feel physically connected to you finally.... i hate this... i just want to get back to normal. we have other negatives too... those are soo fucking minor, like the most microscopic little disagreements.... why cant those be our big issues. i feel like i am just married to a friend. not a lover, not a husband. what did i do wrong? he gained weight too! its not just me... i still love him and want him with every inch hes gained. i still think he just as handsome if anything more handsome than ever because we watched each other mature and find our selves over the years. why is it like this? i think i need to just talk to him. he needs to understand that this shit needs to stop and change before this shit goes south. im sorry but i cant handle this for much longer. having sex with him isnt just sex. i feel connected... i feel safe... i feel loved. i miss that so much...

[problemsleuth]

Please it's pride month u legally have to tell us ur midnight crew and problem sleuth gay headcanons

ALKFDSJF MAN WHAT tbh i havent been thinking about them that much this much but i will do it for you buddy

edit: ok now that i'm done im actually all jazzed about ps/intermission again so thank you for this ask anon LOL i had a lot of fun getting to ramble on about stuff and have an excuse to neglect work HAHAHA

guess we'll stay topical and go with like gay awakening headcanons or related. just as a general reminder this is assuming theyre all humans since carapacians probably dont have sexualities defined

Problem Sleuth - I like the whole deal where sleuth assumed he was milquetoast straight for most of his life until he met slick and was like uh oh im bisexual arent i! i think he had other close call moments but sort of mental-gymnastics'ed himself into believing it was just admiration for their hardboiledness or like Friendly Comradery fit with all the intricate rituals to touch another man. fighting and arm over each others shoulders while drinking away at the bar sort of thing. falling in love with slick sort of hit him like a truck, injuries and all. he still sometimes grapples with old habits dying hard though. no i will not elaborate :( sorry.

Hysterical Dame - think she knew for forever she was bi, like i think she had a lot of anime ass moments back when she was in school where a lot of girls would fall for her Roguish Charms and outgoing personality and it was relatively easy for her to explore from there. very much the girl knight in shining armor sort of effect from her willingness to get into fights as well.

Pickle Inspector - wow i think he was well aware he was queer from the get-go. he always knew he was weird or whatever because of his grab bag of issues and quirks, so i think him realizing he was attracted to whoever was not really that big of a deal to him. less of a gay awakening more of a gay "oh i accidentally put an extra box of cereal in my shopping cart. ok". i think if he wasn't literally crawling out of his skin with psychosis and anxiety he would enjoy old drag culture a lot. but as it stands now its way too elbow-to-elbow social and young for him to really get into it. and he's much too busy... (excuse)

Nervous Broad - similar to Sleuth surprisingly i think she had a very late sort of deal where she had the classic "wait, you dont act this way when you see cute girl?" moment with her gal pals from uni. HD being very easy to get along with and very direct made it easy for NB to realize she was developing feelings for another woman. i think NB is very much like bi/pan (she doesnt really get or feel strongly about labels) but she has a really strong preference for femmes.

Ace Dick - apologies to ace dick likers who disagree but AD to me is like the Staple Early 1900s Man from the Adverts. he has a lovely wife who he loves so much and a rambunctious boy he plays catch with on the weekends and they sit around the radio to catch the regular mystery hour. he's aware that there's been a few men about town that he'd probably be willing to get to know more personally in another life, but he's fully satisfied with his little city-suburbia Classic Heterosexual Middle Aged Couple dynamic. so basically no salient gay awakening type moments, just in tune with himself to be aware hes probably not classically as straight as people assume him to be. i also like to joke internally that he considered sleuth one of those aforementioned "men about town" before the guy went and opened his mouth, demolishing the thought before it had even finished forming HAHAHA

===

now for the midnight crew...

Spades Slick - very much has lived by the code of living dangerously, down to his partners. usually tends to be drawn to the kind of people who give the impression of someone who would not have many qualms about slitting your throat in the middle of a hookup. scarysexual. think thats why in my head he's had a few on and off moments with droog (even though truthfully, droog is a lazy stringbean of a guy, despite the outward reputation that precedes him). its for sure why he's so drawn to Snowman, even though their dynamic from start to finish has never been anything close to a healthy relationship. but they both feel it works for them, so they keep going. (i think this is why him shacking up with sleuth was such a surprise to everyone that knew him well - sleuth's soft, and worse, he's got a working moral compass. that's not slick's typical mark. but he gives as good as he gets all the same, in both fighting and fucking, so slick doesnt think twice about how he's breaking status quo. and thats how he ends up catching feelings along the way). i got off topic. tldr; slicks never really thought about his sexuality so no real gay awakening moment either. more of a whoops caught feelings moment, since that was rarer and later in life.

Diamonds Droog - WORST case of hetero posturing you'll ever encounter ever in your life. kept a lot of Tasteful Female Nudes on and around him to """""accidentally"""" let slip to ascertain YES he is SO HETEROSEXUAL. there is NO DOUBT that he LOVES WOMEN. in reality he's been painfully aware that he's into men since he was practically a teen and has worked to cover that fact as thoroughly as possible since. i like to think that contributed to how he got so good at lying. and also why he's repressed as all get out fuck and extremely extremely private about his sex life. normal relationships whomst? anyways id like to direct everyone to helen's (@jawbonejoe) catholic guilt portion of the droog headcanon corner because that basically sums up a similar idea LOL

Hearts Boxcars - he's like droog where he had his gay awakening in his teen years but he was normal about it. he's just not as obvious to clock because one of his biggest hobbies is indulging in corny romance novels which are (for the most part) hetero, is passively religious, and happens to be very courteous to women as well which paints him a little as a stereotypical southern gentleman. but no hes very much a big gay man who hopes to settle down someday right proper.

Clubs Deuce - kind of a natural airhead sort of charmer, so has naturally had a lot of people of various gender identities approach him for a date or two early on. he also doesn't see the point of saying no as long as he likes them somewhat, and boy he sure does love people! later he finds out there's nifty names for the kind of people you like to date, and they come with fun colored flags - well ain't that just swell? when he gets later into his crew involvement in his early 30's, he gets less people approaching him right off the bat for intimate socializing, and since he's not really the type to reach out himself, he kind of stagnates for a while dating-wise until he hits his middle years. then he becomes Kind Of A Dilf and gets back into the dating scene. so not so much a gay awakening either.

===

im zooted atm so apologies if anything is confusing or run-on, but that's basically the 411 on my sexuality headcanons for the team and crew respectively. hope u enjoyed anon!! sorry it's long. i didnt get too much into gender stuff because to be honest, my headcanons on their gender journeys are a lot less solidified in my head. i like to go with whatever headcanons the people around me lean into, since i dont feel strongly about them. this is probably because i dont feel a strong attachment to my own gender. like if gender is a spectrum i am a mote of dust that is floating nearby. generally my defaults tend to be that PI and NB are very much genderfluid and nonbinary, slick is trans (if human - i assume that due to the nature of carapacian production, gender doesnt have the same meaning or impact as it does with humans, and therefore gender identity isnt really something that's needed for them. unless specifically they're formed and prototyped into a universe that is heavily impacted by gender, in which case they can understand it conceptually. otherwise theyre out here presenting however they want down to like re-prototyping their bodies to comfort), DMSG is intersex and identifies as a woman (whoops shes not technically team sleuth but i think about here a lot), and sonhearst likes to identify as transmasc (i like to imagine AD and WH sort of being boomers about the lingo but very much being fully supportive and loving parents about it. heart in the right place sort of comedy vibes).

[twinsunstars]

@marvel-starwarsfangirl thanks for the tag!! omg uhhh i havent written fics in so long and usually i keep them to myself bc im shy lol…. last year before ahsoka came out i started this fic where ezra lost his memory while him and thrawn were stuck in space and eventually sabine and ahsoka would find him all with some amnesia and everything, so i’ll just share the prologue….

Darkness was the only thing that could be seen. Voices could be heard faintly in every direction. The voices felt like they were calling to him. Different tones went in and out, changing every second. There were voices that were playful, sad, angry, filled with joy, or scared. Sounds of vibrations and lights appeared within the darkness, swaying around, but he couldn’t figure out what they were.

He could start to see some figures appear one by one, talking in muffled voices. He couldn’t recognize them, but he felt like he knew them. There was a man who would either appear with his eyes open or covered, a green Twi’lek woman, a girl who had different hair colors and colorful armor over her clothes, a purple beast who shared a smile, and sometimes a little orange droid would appear. Other people appeared throughout the visions, but these five would be the most common. Each of them would speak one by one, or at the same time. Sometimes, he could hear his own.

One voice echoed the loudest from the rest. “The Force will be with you. Always.”

He didn’t know why, but his eyes teared up. One tear fell loosely down his cheek, his thoughts seeming to savor the memory.

With a halt, everything returned to the darkness. Silence could only be heard.

The young man’s eyes opened, the visions completely gone from his head. He looked at his surroundings and his clothes, covered in bits of dirt. He didn’t remember his legs being a little longer, but guess it was time to finally grow some height.

He groaned and pushed himself to stand, feeling the cuts on his arms sting. The back of his head throbbed, and when he put a hand to it, it became sensitive to the touch. He couldn’t recognize where he was. The damp forest surrounding him looked nothing like Lothal’s plain sunny atmosphere. He didn’t remember how he got here, or how he got the injuries that began stinging like hell. On the ground, there were some footprints and claw marks embedded into the dirt.

“There you are!”

He saw a tall man who had a deep blue skin tone, bright red eyes, and medium length that bounced as he ran towards him. His clothes were shaggy and his scarf torn. “I was beginning to think you got killed by that thing!”

“Whoa whoa, stay back!”

The blue man froze at the young man’s tone. He had put his hands in front of him, ready to protect himself from whoever this blue man was.

“Relax. That thing’s gone-“

“Who are you?”

The blue man arched his eyebrows. “I’m not in the mood for playing around, Ezra Bridger.”

“How do you know my name? I’ve never even met you.”

Thrawn was going to say more, though instead he closed his mouth and studied Ezra. His expression, the way he was ready to protect himself. The young man was genuinely scared and confused.

That’s when it hit him.

:) no pressure tag: @ladywren7 @jessicas-pi @jedi-nurse @half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk @anyone else!!

WIP tag game

Tagged eleven times since the last time I did these (two weeks ago, whoops)

Notable offenders (<3) are @winterinhimring, @musewrangler, @kraytwriter, @afaroffsong, @informedimagining, and @called-kept. however I’ve also been tagged in the Heads Up Seven Up twice, by @kraytwriter and @musewrangler. So how abouts I take care of all this at once by adding twenty-five (not all consecutive) sentences?

 She had children old enough to take on some extra responsibilities, so there was no question that they could get by. Which might be why Erran’s offer of help felt like such a gift, despite his lack of experience. He could have looked at what they had and assumed that he wouldn’t be needed or wanted. He could have decided that his own responsibilities (whatever they might be, for surely he had to make his living somehow,) were more important.  

Working on the tunic till it was time to start supper brought them more than halfway to completion. They often stopped to compare progress and make sure neither of them strayed off course. If Shona had a slight advantage in age and experience over Isie, it showed more in speed than in neatness, and in the end when Rose compared the sides they were both even. 

>>——>

As it happened,[name] hadn’t learned much from his conversation with Erran. They’d talked mostly of the work, as she might have known they would. She pondered over what she’d gleaned from [name] as she rolled out dough for pasties: only a confirmation that Erran was not from the area, and that he had lived in a city before coming to live somewhere away west of town. An odd change to make, especially coming alone as he had. What sort of work had he done? Had he been apprenticed in a trade? [name] did not seem concerned about his lack of experience. He was willing to learn and the fact that he’d offered his services at all seemed to speak well of him, and that was enough for [name].

“The lads know enough to teach him,” [name] had said. “T’will be good for them as well.” 

And well it might be.

____

The next morning, earlier than before, Erran was back and the work on the thatch resumed. He’d arrived with red cheeks, twinkling eyes, and three more apples for the children to share but his hands had been very cold. He could use some mittens.

She did raise her brows at the apples though. Where had these come from?

“Wynn Fullrede sends his greetings and says to say thank you for feeding me yesterday,” Erran said, rather sheepishly in response to her look. 

Rose smiled. 

EDIT: you’re all tagged back for the WIP game

[flingza-roller]

Sorry if this is bad timing, but I just saw your post about lorikeet and I love them! Could you tell me a bit more about them and your other splatoon OCs?

OHO YES! there is no such thing as bad timing to ask about ocs, im just incredibly happy that somebody is interested!! heheh time to Ramble (this is long sorry)

ok so im gonna stick to the bird kids cuz theyre a lot easier to explain GSJFD (maybe someday ill give my other ocs refs and backstory stuff....)

all four of em are very much based off how i play the game as each character, so i pretty much just grab my in-game behaviour and give it to em as a personality.

so, lorikeet! splat3 is still very new but i think ive somehow already solidified their personality lmao. theyre super reckless, pretty much always falling off stages and getting themself splatted by doing stupid things like running headfirst to a tacticooler or trying to challenge the eliter that wont leave them alone (i think mahi-mahi is the absolute worst for this). they like to go a little bit cazy and get as many kills as possible, which is silly when the only mode u play is turf war... (on that, there is not a single splatoon game that has gotten me to like ranked/league. i played it a few times and then swore off it, so now all four of the kids hate ranked lol)

lori fucking ADORES deep cut so theyve got the three earrings in their right ear bc they wanna be like shiver and frye. on deep cut, they love splatfests and all the music n fun stuff that comes with it. theyre weirdly not too competitive when it comes to defending their team, BUT they will go extra feral during splatfest turf wars and go complete beast mode. they still dont have a main weapon? favours brushes but thats pippins thing so they should probably pick something else GDKGS

oh they have the worst adhd brain. if they see something cool happening in the bg of a stage they will just straight up stop in their tracks and watch for a while, completely oblivious to whatever is happening in the match. and of course the moment they hear the tacticooler they will run for it even if theyre literally in the opposite end of the stage.... stupid. favourite stage is yet to be decided, gotta let the game marinate for a while longer

as the new agent 3 lori is pretty good at following orders, they just kinda... die in the dumbest possible ways. trying to jump through walls, walking straight off ledges, accidentally attracting attention to themself by throwing lil buddy right next to them. but theyre pretty good at fighting! also they like annoying the captain, because of course (this doesnt bode well for kiwi)

id like to build more on their character eventually but that requires me playing more splat3 and ive been rly unmotivated to do so >:/ ive barely played any salmon run and still havent touched table turf. augh. lori u will grow as a person i promise

now PIPPIN! (she/they) theyre my kid from octo expansion! shes very silly but surprisingly strong and skilled. never asked for help from OTH and went through every single test multiple times to get every weapon ticked (hell). also enjoys fighting inner agent 3 because ??? clearly a lot more competent than theyre letting on.

so once pip came to the surface they were very much like "id rather NOT do the whole fighting thing again" and jumped into turf wars with the intention of just having fun and messing with people. her gear set is 100% QSJ cuz she likes annoying the enemy team and then jumping away like a coward when theyre cornered (it jumpscares people bc they dont expect an octo to jump THAT fast).

she uses brush so that they can draw love hearts in enemy base :] they think its very cute and gets sad when ppl ink over it. also if an enemy tries to initiate a party they will always join bc make love not war etc. always goes for the highest inkage (highest score excluding win points was over 2000) favourite stage is inkblot art academy!

zero sense of fashion btw they either wear the QSJ gear or whatever they think will make her look hot (big fan of the octoling armour and marinas crop top). sometimes changes gender to Boy bc why the hell not, gender is arbitrary.

when grouped up with the others, they like teaming up with pigeon to cause chaos and havoc. shes very excited to see lori joining the team cuz theyre equally as insane as the other two! kiwi is the only one carrying a braincell here rip

PIGEON time!! (also she/they) technically my first oc because splatoon 2 was my first game! so she definitely has the most going for them. foil flingza main (my beloved), absolutely a frontliner and goes for the kill as much as possible. very good at sneak attacks! main gear is almost entirely special charge up (sorry. im the og missile spammer) except for ninja squid which they use to scare the shit outta ppl.

pigeon adores the birds u see hanging out on various stages, especially the pigeons (naturally). favourite stage is moray towers! i never said we had good taste. moray is excellent for roller users and allows for fast clean base inking >:]

like the others they love a good squid party but isnt always in the mood, HOWEVER she will never splat an innocent partier bc thats a dick move. if theyre not a threat, theres no need to splat.

outside of turf, pigeon is actually not a very violent person. very sweet to their friends and oh so very lesbian. she sees a pretty girl in the square and goes 😳 (btw this DOES work in battle, be a cute girl and they will be distracted). fucking absolutely obsessed with squid beatz like you have no idea, aims to get gold on every hard mode song. favourite songs to play are frantic aspic, shark bytes, and entropical. she and pippin love playing games like this together, i bet theyd be great dance duo.

in hero mode, pigeon is naturally a completionist and obtained every weapon. fucking loves harassing marie and annoying her as much as possible. adores callie so much <3 their best speedrun time is 40 sec on octo samurai (sadly cant reach the world record of 39)

unlike pippin they actually have a pretty good fashion sense, always coordinating their outfits and ink colour to match. a very stylish squid!

now kiwi is an interesting one. i first played splatoon 1 in beginning of 2018, so sadly i missed out on the splatfests. still got plenty of turf in and played hero mode repeatedly bc i have brainrot!

so kiwi (again. she/they) is really into amiibo challenges, especially the kraken challenge. being a kraken for that long makes em feel powerful, and its lotsa fun. they actually spend far more time on hero missions than anything else, they enjoy turf on the occasion but find it weirdly intimidating (favourite stage is flounder heights!). she feels most at home in the valley, with craig and the squid sisters. theyre far too sympathetic toward octolings (unlike pigeon who just goes fucking ham) and tries her best to just avoid fighting them entirely. because of this, shes pretty good at stealth missions, especially since she rarely makes much noise anyway. theyre definitely the most low-key out of the four agents.

SO!! why do i name them all after birds? because.... i like birds :D yes im a wannabe ornithologist and birds are my main special interest. i also mainly name them after aus/nz birds cuz im just Like That. we have cool birds in australia, and lorikeet was just far too fitting to pass up. (btw pippin is short for peregrine falcon)

despite being so skilled in hero mode missions they do actually get hurt a lot and almost always has some kind of bandaid or gauze on her body from various injuries. is it a lack of skill, or just recklessness? hmmm (its definitely just because she doesnt take enough care of their body lol).

if kiwi were to be captain in splatoon 3, theyd definitely be just constantly scruffing new 3 by the collar to stop them from doing something stupid. is very afraid of a new idiot joining the gang, as if pip n pidge werent bad enough. all 4 as a splatfest team would definitely be the most chaotic thing possible.

also theyre this way because when i draw squirds (tagged on my blog as "wings au") i think its fun to see how different they all look! kiwi would certainly be more fitting as a bird of prey but i think they look so silly with the stubby wings so im not changing my mind. this does mean shes real fast at running! pip and lori are the fastest flyers, pigeon is just kinda in between rip

final note, theyre all at LEAST 18 just so that its not weird. they all use she/they except lori, whos exclusively they/them. they all fucking hate ranked but love hero missions. also all of them have 1 braincell bouncing between them (mainly held by kiwi)

if u managed to read this far, thanks for ur time!! ill eventually draw all these silly bird kids together as squirds, i think itd be fun.

[hey-its-cweepy]

Okay so first off, idk if its alright I do smth like this or not, if it is please let me know-

ALSO- I wanted to try my hand at other characters too! So I kinda just yeeted some of my/your ocs into a wheel and hoped for the best lol

Credit where credit is due: Tiam, Mythra, Leroy and Mellow belong to @fumikomiyasaki!

Anyway-

Marinus and Tiam:

As much as I joke around that he'd just violently grab Tiam and drink from the little straw on his head, (,,, which technically isnt a joke bcs he would and then say sorry while feeling really bad, especially if he left bruises,,,) Marinus would definitely still try to be careful to not hurt Tiam real bad- he'd also always thank him for the drink and be apologetic if he scared/hurt him, unless,,,, yk,,,, you like that sort of thing,,,,,,

Bullies? No problem! With Marinus by your side they probably already went "missing" got eaten but if you asked if he'd seen them, he'd just go "Nope, no idea where they could be :)" and then resume gremlin thoughts

Marinus will sometimes forget certain words from time to time, considering his mom didnt even really want him to get an education and just wanted him to be like a feral siren-

Expect minor things like "Holy shit, Tiam, its a bunch of quack quacks!" And they're freaking ducks-

And speaking of ducks- Marinus hates birds (mainly seagulls/pelicans) but ducks are an exception because "They're the only birds that are nice to me" so I dont think he'd get along too well with winged characters like Rubina-😔✌️

MARINUS WOULD NEVER BITE, SCRATCH, HISS OR GROWL AT TIAM- Unless of course he asked him too

Marinus WOULD however h*ld h*nds (how sinful) and Tiam's crooked smiles will be met with a sharped tooth gremlin smile <3

Also yes, you are right, a LOT of characters (my own/discord friend OCS) are afraid of Marinus or wanna fight 😔🤣 (I think its funny-)

However, just because Marinus has people scared of him, doesnt mean he isnt scared of things too! And he will absolutely freak out if anyone/anything covers his mouth (actually, I think being restrained in general could go here), if someone sees him while he's in siren form, etc (I'll probably add on more another time lol)

I almost forgor to mention, but hair is kinda a big thing for sirens (at least in my head, idk if disney will take it and throw it in my face that its not 💀) so, if Mari is comfy enough, he'd definitely be letting Tiam touch his hair, style it, do whatever with it tbh lol and expect him to do the same with Tiam's! (No, he doesnt care if its sticky-)

Im starting to think of ideas that are more dating-like and idk if thats ok so next character

Amos and Mythra:

THE DANCE COUPLE!!!

Probably only see each other on few occasions bc different schools 😔✌️

Maybe they could teach each other new moves too 👀

Amos, however, will dip just as fast as my dad did the moment somebody from her school/dorm walk in 💀💀💀

He's honestly a real charmer tho and knows how to treat a lady :tantrums:

I imagine ears/tails are also important to beast-people (?) just like hair is for sirens (unless Disney will yeet that im wrong in my face too-) so maybe some nice scenario of Mythra petting/gently scratching his ears while Amos purrs? 🥺 And then he gotta dip bcs Sindren 💀/LH /NF

I'll be honest, Amos is one of the newer characters and hasnt been developed as much as older characters that I havent introduced lol

Momo and Mellow

OKAY so- Momo (blue haired plant baby, I have posted him here before but I need to post a ref lol- I WILL DO THAT SOON THO-) has a habit of straight up running away from people that are taller than her, I mean freaking BOLTING the moment someone bigger than 5'10 (177cm) is in her vision-

But luckily, Mildew seems to be smaller than that, so she'll at least stay! :D

In order for them to be friends tho, they'd have to interact without Dallas in the picture (another piss gremlin I have yet to post a ref of, but basically he tells Momo bs to isolate her from everyone and she'd believe it because toxic relationships✨)

Momo would be really shy at first though, but I think it could work! Like a slowburn friendship (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

Momo is a little passionate about art (maybe not enough to go into full on rambles about different styles n stuff but enough to try it out herself although she doesnt usually share her artworks) so he'd probably occasionally glance over and stare a bit if she notices him making something but looking away immediately if Mellow looks back

(some Momo art for reference!)

Dallas and Leroy

I do not know if Leroy understands that Dallas is just being a crotch gremlin because his parents spoiled him rotten (and he's also only like... 15 💀) but regardless-

Dallas would hands down find a way to try and "egg on" Leroy to do something and then play the victim card in front of Crowley like he does to all the "big spooky" OCs

Like bullying the clothes he wears when he finds out its a heating issue and not "because he dresses weird", probably like "You're telling me a little bit of sunshine is going to screw you over? Quit being so sensitive"

HOWEVER, I feel like he'd just end up annoyed at the spiteful pranks and then the tables would turn as now its Dallas being served some humble pie (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

(Some Dallas art for reference!)

DONT LET THE EYES FOOL YOU HE'S A LITTLE TOXIC AND HATEFUL GREMLIN