#im almost certain i didn't miss any

[okartichoke]

ahfehofehawoif so i just finished AAI1 and I compiled every "(I won't rest until I've inspected every suspicious-looking nook and cranny.)" from it. i hope someone out there enjoys the fruits of my labor <3 fellow nook and cranny enjoyers

Final nook and cranny count: 32 (+1 from Gumshoe)

(Spoiler warning for AAI1!!, you can see crime scenes and locations in the backgrounds of the images.)

quick shoutout to these 2 ^ where you finish examining this scene, then 5 minutes of gameplay later, Edgeworth is like "hey wait a minute... maybe there are more nooks and crannies?????" and so you examine the exact same scene again

Gumshoe nook and cranny ❗❗ ^

the final utterance ^ <3333

[kyumisyumi]

would you consider continuing eldritch nikto? (no pressure)

im so curious about him

Honestly yea, I wanted to make it a little longer originally but was battling writer's block and didn't want to push myself too much.

Part 1

It took you a long time to realize your eyes were open and that you were, indeed, awake. There was nothing but black in your vision no matter where your eyes shifted but you were certain your lids were peeled back, pupils dilated in its attempt to take in any available light. There was a constant buzzing in the back of your head that only got worst as you tried to sit up. The sound creeping through your ears as if seeking to fill your skull, it shifted and morphed until you realized it was voices. So many of them. Soft whispers yet they felt so loud, so intrusive against your ears. Your own thoughts lost to theirs as they announced your awakening. Your hands balled against your ears in an attempt to block them out but it barely helped.

"Quiet... please." Your words were soft and pleading, as if instinct had you trying to mimic their tone. Trying to conform. "Please." You begged but they just went on and on, conversing with themselves until finally you could take no more. "QUIET!" you snapped, voice hoarse against your dry throat, sounding more like a petulant screech. You immediately regret it when the sudden silence filled the air. While the voices felt like too much, the quiet felt like too little. Unnatural almost. Ominous. You couldn't see anyone depart, nothing but the writhing black walls endlessly pulse and squirm, but you felt it. Like a crowd dispersing as an event comes to an end. It was only then that you remembered where you were, your memory settling uncomfortably where the voices once filled.

You were in hell.

You curled up, body going defensive as you tried to figure out where to go from here. You looked around, your eyes had adjusted somewhat, the room was black on black on black but at least you could made out the shape of the square room you were in and the weird geometry within. You were a top some rectangular platform, like a bed but devoid of sheets and covers. At least it was soft. You stretched out your legs, they were no longer littered with the cuts and scratches from earlier's fray. At least you think it was earlier, it could've been days since it all happened.

As your mind began to ponder you felt a change in the room. It began with the hairs at the back of your neck standing, an awakened prey instinct warning you of danger. Your eyes darting around in search of the threat but you're unable to pick up its location. Ears straining some unnamed muscle to zone in on any sound but nothing. No one was near. You stayed like that for a while, hyper vigilant in a way that was opposed to your usual carefree nature, but nobody was around.

Nobody.

And yet you didn't feel alone. Your lips parted to speak; a greeting? A warning? You weren't sure. All you could muster up was a quiet "um" before you shut them again. For a long time there was nothing but you and the invisible eyes around you. Discomfort quickly set in and after a moment of weighing your options, you tentatively got up and left the dark room.

Outside the whispers returned. Every now and then a voice would offhandedly acknowledge you. 'The human' or 'It moves', occasionally there would be a reference to food but you'd rather believe it had nothing to do with you.

The structure you roamed was nothing but a series of tunnels. You were unable to find any rooms aside from the one you had woken up in, just dead ends and more passages ways. You'd managed to lose the feeling of being watched but you knew deep down you were never alone down here. The only point of interest you found was the entrance. You'd almost missed it, no beams light could manage to permeate the gloom of the pit but looking up you could see the circular patch of yellow-ish white trying to make it's way through. You had no idea what your next action should be. Was this the game? To have humans mull about until they inevitably died of starvation? Was that how you wanted to go out? No. But looking up at the miles of ick leading towards your only means of escape, you felt helpless. Truly helpless. And that stirred anger inside you. You who always held your life in the palm of your hands. Who walked through the world like it could do nothing to you. You didn't want to die but you'd rather face the creature that would kill you than waste away over time.

You turned away from the entrance, eyes scanning the darkness. You couldn't see the thing that stalked you but you knew it was here. Had always been here, only an arms reach away. For a moment, common sense tried to reach you but your lips were faster.

"If you're gonna eat me, just do it."

Of all the things to say.

Your eyes could barely register the speed at which it's tendrils moved, wrapping around your limbs and pulling you towards a wall. You resisted the best you could but for naught. A hard, gross smack as your back is forced against it. You couldn't see them but you could feel tens of smaller tendrils latch onto you, pulling you further and further into the semipermeable surface. A frightening numbness overtook every inch of you encompassed by its form.

"No, no, no no no no. Wait! Stop! " You begged, tears stinging your eyes as fear becomes terror becomes desperation. Oh, how you hated the feeling of regret."Don't, please don't. I didn't-"

When the panic subsided and you opened your eyes, you realized you were no longer being pulled. A dark, all-too-amused chuckle filled your ears. The sound eerily close to your neck.

It didn't even try to hide the mocking tone. "But you said..." The creatures voice was masculine, low and accented, though you couldn't quite place it. Wouldn't know where to begin since you'd never been outside your village.

"I know what I said! I didn't mean it." You quickly interjected. Numb wasn't even the right word for how half your body felt. The parts of you that was absorbed into him felt... Lost. "Please, please let me go."

"Why would you say words you do not mean?" You weren't sure how to respond and in your silence, his tendrils began pulling again.

"I don't know! I-" you thought. You hate having to do that, having to find reasons for your actions as if they weren't performed at the roll of a mental die. As if your entire existence wasn't one impulsive decision after the next. "I was frustrated." You admitted.

"Hmm... " you could feel the wall vibrate as he thought. His viscous limbs lazily sliding over your body, in a way that felt a little too explorative, but at least he was no longer pulling you in. "I know this emotion."

You almost fell over when he released you. Feeling slowly returned as you shivered, your limbs desperately trying to reacquaint themselves. You turned back to look at him but there was nothing but a wall behind you. He was there though, you felt it.

"What is wro-" You wanted to have an attitude but this time your brain stopped you, pleading with you to be careful. To choose your words and tone properly. "I want to leave."

"That's unfortunate."

I hate to cut this off abruptly but I felt like it was getting too long + brain machine broke (mostly the last one)

[gravidwithlore]

I didn't forget about Kaz I swear! Life got in the way, but I've finally finished the next update on how our little knocked up revolutionary slut demon is doing! When I first started the lineart, he was actually at 12, but by the time I finished him up we're at a total of 15 demon spawn growing in that belly of his! He's only a few months along, but I'm sure he's going to get MUCH bigger from here.

Remember, the next milestone is a new "uniform" so every like and reblog helps get him a new outfit! Maybe one with a little bit more room for a growing succubus? And to add more babies to that unnaturally fertile womb of his, you can donate to my Ko-fi, or every 10 reblogs also adds another spawn in that belly.

Prologue | Part 1

Once word got around that Kaz was thoroughly knocked up, he could barely take a step without one of the guards pulling him into a closet or just shoving him into a corner to fuck him senseless. Which is exactly what Kazimir wanted. When the revolution's leaders sent him on this mission, they'd made it seem like this operation would be hard. The only thing hard about it was every guards dick when they so much as thought about him.

He did find himself missing the presence of his revolutionary counterpart though. Levi was still in solitary, most likely to try and wring as much information out of him as possible. Kaz hoped he'd be let out to the general population soon. He wanted someone to talk shit about the guards with. The succubus had never encountered such a gullible group of idiots before, so easily swayed and charmed with just a soft moan or a certain arch in his back. Kazimir knew he looked fuckable, but even he thought it was getting a little ridiculous. At this rate, he'd be giving birth to an entire new army to serve his Masters in Hell.

“Holy shit, I think I can feel ‘im get more knocked up by the second.” The guard of the moment, having just cum and already hard and rutting into him again, as they roughly pressed one of their large meaty hands on the fertile swell of Kaz's belly. Kaz snapped out of his blissful haze, as he realized he might have been found out right there in the guards break room, the entire plan ruined.

The guard had noticed as the newest occupant of Kazimir's womb had grown to catch up to its siblings. The plan wouldn't work if he didn't give birth to them all at once after all. Usually Kaz basked in the moment, took pride in his fertile body and each and every little demon growing strong in his womb. But if the guards managed to remember that most human pregnancies don't work that way, he could be in big trouble.

“Fuck. That’s hot.” One of the other guards in the breakroom grunted, already stroking his cock through the tent in his pants. Some of the other guards groaned in agreement. “Now shove off, youve had a go, let my have my turn.”

“Fuck off! You can have your turn when I'm done fucking another baby into him.” The first guard growled defensively.

“Hell no, I'm getting my turn, whether you like it or not!” The second guard argued as he tugged down his pants and pushed at the other guard.

Kaz almost laughed. Here he was, afraid he'd been caught red handed, and these idiots were about to go feral over a chance to add to the unholy brood that would later become their very downfall. His eyelids fluttered and a guttural moan escaped his chest as both guards thrust themselves into his cunt at the same time. Still not as big as any of the demon lords he'd carried broods for in the past, but it still stretched his human-looking form to its limit, in the best possible way.

He hadn't carried a brood of demon spawn nearly this big since he'd first reached maturity as a succubus, when his libido and fertility were still wild, chaotic, and uncontrollable. He'd almost forgotten how amazing it felt. But as the still arguing guards came into him, and he cried out in pleasure as the warm fuzzy glow that always nourished him after each breeding filled his core. As a new pair of twins began to grow in his womb; he couldn't help but think: this might be his biggest brood yet.

Because I made you all wait so long, I'm gonna be generous and add 3 more demon spawn to Kaz's belly, on the house! I wanna see that lad get nice and BIG. Don't forget to reblog if you want to help the mission, and if you have some to spare, you can donate to my Ko-fi. And don't forget to like too! How else are we supposed to see that new uniform? ;)

[idkwhatimdoingherehonestlyy]

Hii!! This is my first time ever requesting 😭 but i was wondering if you could do something with earth42 miles and the reader both being the prowler?!! Love the work btw😻

MILES 42 X PARTNER!READER

A/N: Heyyyy I love this idea and thank your for requesting of course I can <3

WARNING: I don't speak Spanish so I will be using google translate, lol. However, if anyone is a translator and can help me out please do!

GUYS I JUST GOT A MESSAGE FROM AN ANON TO TRY THIS NEW WEBSITE SPANISHDICT SO I WILL BE TESTING THIS OUT BUT IM STILL OPEN TO TRANSLATORS!!

BE PREPARED FOR: FLUFFFFF, KISSING, VIOLENCE, LANGUAGE, JUST ROMANTICS, AND ANGST, LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANY

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

BACKSTORY:

You and Miles have been best friends since babies, given both of your parents were good friends.

As yall grew older yall started dating

When his dad died it crushed you almost just as much as it crushed him.

Miles didn't even show up to the funeral. He was in denial that his father was actually gone.

As time passed he would start canceling hangouts and dates because he had to take care of some "business" with his uncle.

He kept doing it so much to the point where you were fed up and took it into your own hands to find out what was going on.

So when school was out you followed him to his destination. Which looked like his garage?...

You ended up finding out this whole time that Miles and his uncle were in this whole "Prowler" scheme together and Miles was instructed to do all these dangerous murders missions by himself.

So you went up to his room and waited for him to come, so you could obviously confront him about it.

And there he is. Jumping through the window. So casually that you know he does it all the time.

" Hi., Miles"

He jumps startled at your unexpected appearance.

"¡Maldita mamá no me asustes así! ¡Y qué estás haciendo aquí!"

"Care to explain why you're jumping through your own window at 3am?" You question already knowing the answer just trying to see what he's gonna come up with.

He gives you that look knowing that you know what he's been up to.

"Bebé, escúchame yo-."

"YOU'RE THE PROWLER? AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME SHIT? THE FUCK KINDA BOYFRIEND ARE YOU MILES?" You are now angry, rage immediately taking over you.

"I did it to protect you, this is a dangerous job and I can't have you involved in this. No puedo perderte como lo perdí ma." He states in an almost whispering tone looking down at you.

"But that's the issue. I CAN help you, Miles, you can't keep doing this alone, just let me help you, por favor eres mi corazón y quiero ayudar! You plead to him. Your throat choking back sobs. Tears falling down your face.

He quickly opens his arms wide to trap you in a bear hug.

"Ok ok mami. Deja de llorar está bien. Puedes ayudarme shh está bien

______________________________________________________________

NOW TIME FOR THE ACTUAL HEADCANNONS:

• Even though you guys technically are partners now, he'll make you stay behind on certain missions depending on how dangerous they are. He'll be damned if he lets you get seriously injured.

• He's always patching you up and taking care of you every time you get hurt

"Oww Miles! That one hurt worse than the others"

He chuckles at your pouting

"Lo siento mami tienes una más solo sé una buena chica y respira estarás bien"

• He definitely designs your costume for you, out of your favorite colors and a heart symbol, which represents his love for you (awhhhhh ^-^)

• Kisses before you leave for missions because its a way of saying "I love you"

• If Aaron tries to make you go on a mission and makes Miles stay back he gets angry and flips out, and definitely doesn't do it

"¿Qué quieres decir? ¡Joder, no! ¡Ella no puede estar jodidamente sola, no! ¡No me importa!"

• In conclusion, yall are a great duo!

[girlboybug]

California Gurls

"warm, wet n’ wild, there must be something in the water."

or the one where joel hasn't been to california in god knows how long, but, one thing's for certain. he loves, california girls.

what’s playing 🎧 : california gurls by katy perry

pairing : joel miller x cali!girl reader

word count : 2k

CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUTTY HEADCANON LIST, age gap, public sex, light themes of exhibitionism, heavy petting, bikini fetish, is that a thing? it is now. unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampies, oral f!receiving, blowjobs, doggy style, riding, multiple orgasms, dacryphilia, switch coded joel and reader, joel still leans towards top/dom, edging, forced orgasms, drunk/high sex

TRIGGER WARNINGS : umm i honestly can't think of any besides sex under the influence of both alcohol and weed but neither joel and reader are sober so its all around consensual as always :) if i missed anything plz lmk!

a/n : hi baes, im sorry that ive been slacking on uploading, ive been a bit burnt out, and i recently just got a job! so i fear my uploading may become more scarce but i will try my best to not let it get too bad.

ive had this au in mind for awhile n thought a headcanon list would b perfect hehe and i might make it a full fic in the future. i have a very special fic im almost done with and then a few more requests, thank u to those patient ppl who requested it, i promise i havent forgotten abt u!!! anyways sorry this is so long kjjdsjhdjsj plz enjoy and if there is anyway i can make my writing more inclusive pleaaase let me know!

joel didn't even want to be in california, but it was on the way to where him and ellie needed to go, and it was supposed to be just them two passing through, nothing less, nothing more.

but then, and of course there's always a but, on the journey both joel and ellie stumble upon a beach.

a beach with you.

culture shock for joel, like immediately. it's almost like the virus never spread to california, specifically their beaches. girls girls girls, all clad in the skimpiest bikinis and swimwear he's seen in years - or ever actually.

ellie convinces him to stay, just for a little while, and of course, he obliges, begrudgingly. the begrudging feeling and furrow in his brows slowly melts away when he's left to unwind in the warm sand, wandering eyes traveling across the beach's very underdressed inhabitants.

he lets ellie play in the water, he's more than content enjoying the view surrounding him in the sand.

you’re quick to notice the newcomers, instantly excited upon meeting new people

you make it real difficult for joel to maintain eye contact while he talks to you, he feels like he needs to physically hold his eyes in place so they don't drift down to the way your tits spill out your bikini top

he can smell the salty water, the semi sweet and unforgettable scent of sunscreen and a hint of coconut on you, and it's honestly mind numbing

and when ellie begs to stay in california for a bit longer than they planned, he surprises both himself and ellie when he jumps to say yes.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

ੈ✩‧₊˚

you make joel never wanna leave california. when it's dark out, with the beach left empty and void of half naked and sunburnt people, it becomes a space for just you and joel.

he loves fucking you right on the sand, loves setting up your bright pink beach towel across the sandy floors just to push your face down onto it, smushing your cheek until your pretty lips pucker and sob his name when he bullies the fat head of his cock into your fluttering hole.

it was so easy getting joel to crack and fuck you, it didn't take much convincing, if anything, it took more convincing on his part to not bend you over upon immediate introductions. but when he finally lets himself have you, it's all he ever wants to do

it was a massive shock that he could keep up with your stamina, he's like what, 56? and you're a 20 something year old full of life and energy and yet he was giving you a run for your money, almost making you tap out when he forces a third orgasm of the night out of you

he loves to drag his tongue across your skin, loves to sink his teeth into the junction of your neck and shoulder when he fucks you from the back, he loves tasting the remnants of the ocean that lingers on your skin

loves to sneak off with you behind the lifeguard tower, and he loves hearing you plead with him to give you some attention.

he loves to make you beg for it. he loves pushing those tiny bikini bottoms that cover not enough, just to lap and lap and lap, at your soaked cunt.

loves to eat it til you cry, he doesn't stop until you have to push him off. he loves it when he gets to flip you on your tummy, he pulls your hips up and buries his face in your pussy, licking you up until your legs shake and can barely keep you upright, but it's okay, he's always there to keep you in place.

you enjoy feeding his ego when you tell him he's the best you've ever had, which isn't a lie

but the way he forces your knees near your ears when you whine about how his cock is the best, and the way he plunges in so deep you can feel him kiss your cervix, makes you feel like you'd say anything else he wanted to hear to get him to keep fucking you like that

sometimes he just can't keep his hands off you, so he'll pull you away to the secluded part of the beach, and make you ride him

oh you love riding him. you like feeling the slight shift in dominance that occurs when you get on top. you love pushing his chest down, letting his back connect to the sand, tons of little grains getting lost in his hair when you keep him down like that, fucking him the way you like, using his fat cock like your personal toy. 

you don’t care about how sensitive he is, you make him take your tight cunt, he's the one that wanted this, so it's only fair he finishes what he started after all.

it's your turn to only get more turned on when you see his pretty brown eyes line with tears when you're fucking him through his second orgasm back to back.

you're insatiable when you're like this, drunk on his cock, and drunk on the power trip of being in control. you’re unable to stop your hips from rocking down onto his, guiding his fingers to your needy clit.

you lower yourself down to his chest, kissing his freckled shoulders, teeth grazing over his collarbones when he's whimpering in your hair, feeling too much everywhere but he doesn't tell you to stop, he takes everything you give him

loves pulling you into his chest when you've ticked him off, he keeps your back to his front, he spreads your legs and keeps them open with his ankle hooking around your's.

his strong bicep, that you love, keeps you in a loose chokehold, his free hand teasing your soaked cunt, bringing you to the edge of release just to rip it away from you. he loves kissing your sunkissed skin, feeling the warmth from being in the sun all day while he whispers for you to, shut the fuck up and behave.

his fingers circle around your clit, switching between that and burying his thick digits in your aching hole, scoffing when you sigh and whimper in relief when he pushes his middle finger in

doesn't let you finish despite your pleas and cries

he's so mean when he's mad at you. :(

he takes your bikini bottoms, pocketing them away and tossing you his flannel if you're gonna complain that much about being bare even though you're practically naked 99% of the time.

you immediately go home, throw his flannel over a pillow and hump it, trying your best to focus on the scent that wafts from his flannel, and lingers on your skin, pretending the friction you felt was from his fingers

you love getting back at joel, like when you're sitting at the tiki bar, and he's trying his best to converse with your friends

you'll snake yourself in his arms, hopping onto his lap while he sits in the barstool, accidentally letting your wet bikini bottoms soak his drying swim trunks

you also unintentionally squirm around in his lap, 'not realizing' you're grinding your ass right on his hardening cock, looking up at him in faux concern when he starts stuttering and stammering mid-convo

he grips your hips, his fingers digging into your warm skin, silently warning you

you don't heed his warnings, naturally, and instead hop off his lap, announcing to the group that you've decided to go for another session in the water, leaving him to awkwardly swivel his barstool away as to not flash his aching erection beneath his swim trunks to all your friends.

of course joel always gets the last word, he's pulling you away from the water, tugging you along with him by the rocks near the shore the furthest from everyone

little girl is gonna learn today, he mutters to himself, and you have to hide your squeals of excitement, knowing he's gonna fuck you stupid

and that he does, he makes you work for your orgasm, and that’s only if he feels nice enough in the moment 

he has you on your knees in front of him while he leans his back against the sturdy surface of a large rock, his hand resting behind your head while he grunts for you to take every inch of him down your throat 

s’what girls like you are good for, i’nt that right baby? 

your cunt flutters at his words, he always makes you tingly from just speaking 

when he’s about to cum he can never decide which is better, seeing your pretty face covered in his seed or watching you swallow it down without a single flinch 

before you, joel hadn’t done anything like this in like, 20+ years, so when you think you’re done, you’re not. 

his cock stays hard sometimes, and he’s more than willing to use you over and over until he’s satisfied, not that you complain, you’re always so pliable and compliant for him. 

he sits you up, pulls you into his lap and makes you put it in, loves watching his fat cock disappear into your greedy cunt, sucking him in and wrapping around him like a tight glove. 

holds your hips down and keeps you in place while he fucks up in to you, tugs your bikini top down and sucks on your chest, tongue messily dragging all along your salty skin, teasing your sensitive nipples with his teeth 

sometimes he’ll play nice, he’ll rub your sweet little clit, cooing and kissing at your neck and cheek when you collapse in his chest, rutting on his cock while he fucks you through your all consuming orgasm. 

buries his face in your neck to breathe in your scent when he’s close, whispers to you if you’ll let him cum inside, and you always say yes 

grunts a few utterances of your name when he cums in you, he slowly fucks his cum inside you, the wet sound from your grinding bodies turns him on more than he can even describe, addicted to how it feels and how it sounds 

loves to slowly pull out, and watch his cum leak from your hole, loves knowing he’s the first and only one, who gets to do that to you. 

and when he’s at your small place, with ellie being at a girl her age’s place for the night, he unwinds in your bed with you, passing a blunt back and forth

you give him sips from whatever fruity alcoholic drink you’ve concocted that night, giggling mid kiss when you taste the mixture of a mango pineapple drink and weed on his tongue 

and he always gets the munchies on nights like this, but not for food

loves devouring your pussy when he’s high, he’ll make his way on top of you, eyes ablaze, mouth parted with low breaths, eyeing you down like you’re his prey 

you try to tease him by closing your legs, but that’s fine, he can work with that

he grabs your ankles, taking them in one big hand, pulling you down towards him before he lifts your legs up by your ankles, smirking to himself when he pushes your panties to the side and dives in tongue first 

he can eat you out for hours, he’s just so hungry, and he can’t get enough of you

and when you’re shaking, trembling, struggling to breathe, he loves watching the violent jerk your body makes when he pushes his cock inside your messy and soaked hole, loves holding you down while you shake beneath him from your burning orgasms you just had back to back 

fucks you nice and slow, wants you to feel every single inch, and every single vein inside of you, wants you to know who’s fucking you this good

and when he can’t hold off on leaving california any longer, he tries to convince you to come with him. and in the time that the pair has stayed in california, ellie has grown to like you, and naturally joins him in his pleas, begging you to come along with them. 

and as much as you want to go along with them, you can't get yourself to leave. california’s your home, and it could be their’s too, you try to tell them, but you both know where the other belongs. 

when he leaves, he kisses you hard enough that you pray it bruises into your lips for the rest of your life. 

you make him promise to try and come by at least every summer, and with a wide smile, he says he can do that. 

[reidmania]

girl if u dont update ur flicker series im throwing hands

FLICKER | spencer reid

whoopsies im sorry i forgot about this

warnings ; all chapters of this will contain strong mentions and descriptions of rape and murder, violence, eating disorders, suicides, abuse, sexual jokes and references, and all the criminal minds stuff, please be aware of this when reading.

"I don't think I am suppose to become friends with the FBI agents who are trying to find the guy who tried to kill me." Serenity said as she picked at the food Spencer had brought her.

She was sitting with Elle and JJ, the two girls on the team — who she had learnt were really quite friendly.

Spencer went back into the conference room after buying her a caesar from the cafe on the first floor of the police station, it was what she asked for and he was more than happy to spend the five dollars on something she would enjoy.

Elle scoffed, "I highly doubt there is rules on who you are allowed to be friends with." She said softly, sipping at the coffee in her hand, raising her eyebrow slightly as she looked at the brunette girl.

A soft laugh — almost a giggle left Serenity's lips. "Well yeah but is it not awkward for you guys? To be sitting here talking to a victim as if i'm not one?" She asked, she felt like it came out in the wrong way.

JJ frowned, "You are more than just a Victim." She said, she spoke in a way that almost made serenity believe it was true.

"How are you doing anyways. We know you're sitting here smiling and making jokes, but you don't have to put up a front, if you're struggling you can tell us you are struggling." Elle said softly, she had her own fair share of issues due to trauma and the worst mistakes she made was not talking about them.

Serenity pursed her lips slightly as she continued to move her fork around her salad that sat in the plastic container.

"I mean — I don't know really." She said honestly, she had never been quite the best at putting her emotions into words. Talking about what was going through her head when she could hardly understand it all herself just felt more difficult then keeping it to herself.

"Thats okay, but we want you to know you don't have to act like everything is okay, no one is expecting you to be fine." JJ said.

Serenity smiled softly at the two girls — she wondered how they worked in an environment like this — hearing about this sort of stuff all the time, seeing it constantly.

"Thank you" Serenity settled on replying, despite the thought that itched at her brain, wondering why everyone expected her to fall apart.

She didn't quite know how to do that.

"Hey Miss May." Serenity turned her head towards the sound of her name — it was so formal, and professional it almost made her uncomfortable.

She saw a man that she had yet to have talk to, "Hi." She said softly, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Hey, Im Agent Derek Morgan." He introduced himself, he hesitated before offering his hand for her to shake. Serenity could see in her eyes he was expecting rejection, maybe thinking the touch may be a certain trigger.

Instead she extended her own hand, meeting his, giving it a gentle shake. "Its nice to meet you" She said gently, a soft smile on her face.

He nodded his head. She watched as Derek— or agent Morgan looked around and Elle and JJ.

"Do you have any family, friends, anyone, that you'd like us to call?" He asked, returning his eyes to the brunette girl who had just replaced her hand in her lap.

The reality of the question dawned on her — if they did call anyone, then someone would know, someone real would know what happened to her. Embarrassment creeped up on her neck as she thought about it.

"Um, do I have to?" She asked after a moment. Maybe it was stupid for her to be alone throughout this process, maybe it was really smart — she didn't know. She did know however that how bad it was would be easier to handle than the embarrassment she would face if anyone found out.

"Of course not, but the option is there whenever, or if you change your mind all you have to do is let one of us know" Derek said, a soft — comforting sort of smile on his face.

He looked to the bowl of the untouched food, he knew Spencer had brought it for the girl, He was in the room when Spencer informed Hotch and Gideon about the girls lack of food consumption over the business week.

"Eat up, I think they will have more questions shortly." Derek said, before pausing for a minute. "We need you two in the conference room." He said, looking between JJ and Elle who were both quick to stand up.

They walked into the conference room, only about ten feet away from where Serenity was left sitting alone. She frowned as she stared down at the food in front of her.

There was a feeling of sick that lingered in her stomach, she didn't know if it was because she was now sitting alone and insanely on edge, paying hyper attention to every single sound around her, or if it was the idea of eating.

She wasn't completely alone, she knew that. Different officers were walking around the office like building, sitting at desks, but there was no one she knew.

She looked down at the food again, before grabbing it, turning around to the bin that was close behind her, throwing the salad out.

There was a hint of guilt in her chest, knowing Spencer had paid money for it, his own money. She made a promise to herself to pay him back for it no matter what.

It was going to go to waste one way or another. Either she would throw it out — like she did, or vomit it up.

She looked back down at the table as her skin began to grow hot, she could feel her pulse throughout her body as the realisation dawned on her —

no matter how many smiles she threw onto her face, it happened. It wasn't a bad dream or a twisted thought in her head, it really happened.

"Serenity?" She heard Elle's voice and a heavy sigh of relief left her lips as she looked up towards the brunette girl.

She nodded, showing she was listening to whatever the girl might have to say. There was a look of almost pity on the FBI agents face, it made Serenity feel sick to her stomach.

"Listen" Elle said softly as she walked towards the table. "We know you want to go home, but that really isn't an option. For your safety" She said.

Serenity tried to keep the soft smile on her face, as she listened to Elle speak. She wasn't completely sure how she would cope to being alone at home anyways, despite missing the comfort of her house.

"Okay." She said, nodding her head in understanding.

"We are going to go back, we have more access to the information we need back at our building, However we still have more questions for you and we want you to be as much apart of this process as your comfortable with" Elle started explaining, her palms rubbing at her jeans.

Serenity just nodded her head, not quite understanding the point Elle was trying to make. She tried to ignore the fact that them leaving would mean she would once again be alone — basically alone.

Elle sighed, "Would you be comfortable coming back with us, and staying there until we catch the guy so you can go home safe" Elle asked.

Serenity refrained from letting out a sigh of relief and jumping up to celebrate the fact she wouldn't be alone.

"That would be fine" She said instead.

Elle nodded her head with a soft smile on her lips. Serenity tried to stop herself from gushing about how being around Elle and JJ, or anyone in the team, made her feel the most comfortable she had in days.

"You're doing amazing." Elle reminded, before smiling once more; turning around to walk back to the conference room.

There was maybe five minutes before The team of FBI agents were walking out of the conference room with there stuff, and then a mere moment before Serenity was walking between Elle and JJ to one of their cars.

"We're full" JJ said sadly, unfortunately their car was being used to hold boxes — and boxes of files and information on the case, taking up the back seats.

"Thats fine, we got room" Gideon said, nodding his head softly towards the girl. Elle paused for a minute as her face traveled over to Serenity's.

"Is that alright with you?" Elle asked. Serenity knew what thoughts were going through her head. 'How would a kidnap and almost rape victim cope with being in a car full of men'

Serenity just nodded her head, a soft smile on her lips. There was an utter of agreement before she was shuffling into the middle of the back seat, sitting between Morgan and Reid.

Spencer watched her carefully as she shuffled to pull the seatbelt on, he watched her hands pause as she looked down at the connecter for the seatbelt for a moment, he wondered what was going on through her head.

"Do you care about music? Hotch and Morgan like to carpool" Gideon turned around to wiggle his eyebrows at the girl.

Hotch didn't smile or laugh, instead the scowl on his face stayed, a scoff leaving his mouth. "You and Morgan, you mean" Hotch corrected, only brightening Gideons smile.

A soft laugh left Serenity's lips, "As long as it's a good song." She said, a soft fond smile on her lips.

Spencer couldn't help but frown as he looked at the girl, the smile the girl had been showing all day — beautiful smile, if he was honest, it wss dampening more and more every-time she tried to put it on, making him realise it may of never been real to begin with.

"You just let us know if it's a bad song." Gideon said as Hotch began driving. Serenity smiled once more before dropping her head slightly to stare at her hands that resting on her knee's, beginning to pick at her jeans.

Spencer began genuinely questioning how well the police at the station did their jobs — she was still in the same dirty, ripped up clothes that had been stained with blood. They hadn't gone out of their way to make sure she ate or was drinking water, he was almost positive they didn't to an examination for injuries.

"Ill get you new clothes when we get there." Spencer said quietly to the girl on his side, it was quiet enough that it was just between them, which didn't take much since the music and Gideon's and Morgan's loud singing sort of took over any other sounds.

Serenity looked up at Spencer for a moment, eyes traveling over his face for a moment. She wanted to excuse it and say it was fine, that he didn't need to do that, but there uncomfortableness she was feeling everytime she looked at her jeans, or blooded sweater, it was like a reminder of what he did to her.

"Thank you." She said instead. He just nodded his head. Serenity could almost see the clocks working in his brain like he wanted to say more, but he never did, instead just offering her a soft smile.

Derek Morgan was sat beside her singing softly — out of tune and almost horribly, it matched the singing of the man in the passenger seat.

She wondered how a group of people who saw such horrible things, day in day out, could sit here and still smile, it was amazing to her, how all their skin seemed seemingly so much thicker than her own.

"Are you alright?" Spencer asked, maybe he noticed her zoned out trance, or maybe he was just doing his job — either way, Serenity was appreciative of the males carefulness, making sure she was okay.

It was sweet, maybe it was apart of him doing his job but it was still sweet of him.

She looked up at him, something about the look in his eye made her want to be honest and break down into tears, it made a small piece of the walls she had built up around everything valuable inside her slightly crumble. She hated it.

"Im okay." She said.

[v-ternus]

MUSHY MAY TIME WHOOP WHOOP

Stellar prompts form @forlorn-crows. I cant wait to write about more of them.

im so excited. i havent written in a good, long sec

Day 1-- Cuteness Aggression

MountainDew baby... 700 words of MountainDew below the cut :))))

Mountain hates chores. He’ll never admit it to any of the other ghouls, forever wanting to keep up the image of the oh so serious ghoul. But he loathes the days full of work that isn't in the greenhouse. Today is different though. He’s at the sink washing the dishes from lunch when a certain fun sized ghoul jumps on his back. He’s more than happy to drop the plate and sponge in his hand. 

“What the fu–” He yelps, caught off guard by the weight of Dew knocking his hips into the marble counter. 

“Hi big boy” His voice is gravely, dripping of the sleep that made him miss both breakfast and lunch. He wiggles his grip, wrapping his legs around Mountain’s slight waist and holding himself up by his arms snug around broad shoulders. Their size difference is already so noticeable–during bows on stage, band photo ops, and especially during the late nights they spend wrapped up in each other, not knowing where one ends and the other begins. They both love it, even though it used to get under Dew’s skin to the point of self-hatred. 

In the pit, being small meant being a target. Combine that with being a water ghoul, it was a recipe for disaster. But up here, on Earth with a human vessel he’s found a home in, he doesn't worry so much. Especially with the way Mountain looks at him, the way he always indulges in their glaring difference in stature. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure, little spider monkey?” Mountain says as he takes off his wet gloves, turning his head back, angling for a kiss that Dew meets him with. It's slow, easy, and exactly what he needs to take his mind off of the mile long list of chores left for him to handle. But as nice as it is, it's an uncomfortable angle. He reaches his hands back to try and move Dew but is met by a low growl, playful, non-threatening. It makes him laugh, a soft chuckle against even softer lips.

Mountain really starts to wonder what’s going on. And almost like he was reading his mind, Dew answers his unspoken question. 

“Nothing’s up Mount, you’re just–” His words, cut off by him nuzzling into his soft curls and the top of Mountain’s neck, are punctuated with a tight squeeze from his lithe limbs. It’s not like he’s a boa constrictor, but Mountain would be lying if he said it didn't wring out a little more air that he’d like. As rare as Dew is calm, it's even rarer that he’s clingy like this. He’ll press himself up to the curve of Mountain’s back when they sleep, tangle their limbs up, but rarely like this. Unprompted. 

“Need you to finish your sentence there Dewy” Dew huffs, warm breath ghosting over the forming goose bumps along Mountain’s neck. 

“Wanna stay here” His grip gets tighter and it makes Mountain feel warm. “Too cute”

“Are you having that puppy thing with me Dew?” Dew hums, confused.

“That thing… when you see a puppy or a kitten or whatever, and it’s so cute that you wanna squeeze it. Bite it. The youth these days call it ‘cuteness aggression’”

Dew’s lips turn up into the cheesiest grin, human brain shutting off once his hellbeast mind hears ‘bite’. He mumbles a quick maybe and brings his mouth back to Mountain’s neck. This time, finding some flesh to hold between his teeth. Not enough pressure to pierce his skin or hurt, just to hold. Mountain’s stomach swoops with every gentle shift of Dew’s jaw. It's nice he thinks, especially nicer than doing chores too.  The little ghoul continues his onslaught, picking new spots and alternating between biting and worrying sun-kissed skin. Mountain gets lost in the tight feeling around his torso and the soft nibbles around his neck. So lost, that he almost forgets he’s standing. His balance shifts and it's the shortest millisecond but it's enough to shake Dew. He squeezes tighter, whining right in Mountain’s ear. Don't drop us, don't fall with me still on your damn back. He leans forward and mumbles an apology before anchoring his arms under Dew's legs.

He’ll feel this in the morning, the strain in his already bad back. He’ll whine about the ache, but Dew will be there to fix him. That’s a problem for tomorrow’s Mountain. For now, he’ll let himself be squeezed and nibbled on until Dew gets his fill.

[liampaynemysteriousdeath]

Wanted to say thank you so much for doing this, and hopefully, the truth will come out and Liam will get the justice and peace he deserves. Thank you for your work in compiling all of this, and spreading more information about this out there for more to see. Gonna send this ask to someone else here for their work in investigating and compiling about Liam as well haha. Thank you!!

aww thank you so much! That is very kind of you to say. :) I honestly wasn't even planning on making a blog. But then i kept finding more oddities.

I honestly thought at the beginning he decided on his own to end it all, but then someone said there was no goodbye note. I'm like OK so then maybe it was an unfortunate accident. But then things didn't add up with conflicting stories.But I started seeing comments from the locals about how corrupt it is over there and no justice is served.

and then i started reflecting on lots of things that came I to my mind. Like for example, demi lovatos drug dealer had victimized her by lacing her drugs so he could take advantage of her which put her in the hospital fighting for her life. Thankfully she pulled through. I wish we could say the same for liam. 💔 it sucks that just bevause celebrities can so times be addicts that everyone just assumes it was an overdose. I wish more people could see for themselves and use critical thinking that everything is not what it seems. Truth is stranger than fiction.

Idk if you saw that one dreezy guy on tiktok, he talks about how there have been lots of drug deaths in the area reported. And then the US issued a warning to tourists that this kind of thing happens a lot in that country.and that one tiktok girl has a really good theory as well.

I hope she's not right, but it almost seems like a courptney love/khrt cobaine situation if she is correct...

Anyways, Check out my pinnedpost. I think im onto something lol...

I wish my blog was less messy and more organized but I don't have time for aesthetics lol. People can use the search feature I guess lol.

I'm glad more people are waking up to the truth and finally questioning things.

This isn't the first celebrity death I've come across that has had weird circumstances. I remember years ago, a certain celeb, there was debt involved with the celebs manager as well. Anither similairty is tmz was always the first to report everything. Also certain things were setup ahead of time, there were also witnesses who were paid actors, etc.

Anyways thank you for checking out my blog and for encouragement lol. I'm slightly burned out from dedicating about a hundred or so hours to research, etc. But it will all be worth it in the end when liam gets justice I hope. 🤞

P.s. any research you wanna keep feel free to take screenshots and whatever else you find I teresting bevause certain articles have been taken down and certain social medias have also been shut down suddenly. Both times connected to roger it seems,

Edited to add the tmz part.because certain celeb I talked about theirs was handled by tmz as well, so i feel like it's worth mentioning.

[sugar-omi]

Omg I love your mermaid!Cove! Can I request some more please? 🩵

surprisingly i have many ideas on mer!cove lol, i didnt think i did but this is so long!! so enjoy<3 tysm for the ask anon, im glad you liked my mer!cover hehe<33

tags : Fluff, headcanons

eta a bit on cove w sharp teeth <3

mmm... merman cove is so pretty even in human form

in human form, he has scales in a few places

down the side of his hips to the top of his thighs and a few straglers on his ankles

his scales are blue and green. they're iridescent as well, super pretty

the closer to his chest, the lighter his scales are but there's still some dark ones around his hips that are more like a navy blue

his fins are probably on the greener side as well, and im thinking more translucent too

i looked at some fanart, i think his tail would be more on the "capey" side as well

and if i can go as far as you link you to this beautiful kokomi fanart by nataliadsw on twitter: here

in fact i'd even say the fins are like in the art! very sparkly and pretty

how do we feel abt a purple to light blue gradient?

i was thinking abt his ears too n yk how some ppl draw mermaids with fins for ears or whatever?

i think his ears are long like an elf, but the tips have a blue-to-flesh gradient. maybe even

lots of pretty piercings!! has gold and pearls in his ears.

ETA BC I TOTALLY FORGOT ABT THIS

BUT COVE HAS SHARP TEETH <333

well, sharp canines anyway

kinda like this photo: here

imagine his lil sharp smile..... i love him

also don't ask me how he shifts. bc i have no idea

as far as I'm concerned he's like a fucking Dino capsule that you drop in water and inflates

LIKE A FUCKING ORBEEZ

okay that settles it, that's what we're going with LMAO

oh my god

before i forget.. mer cove is Big

know how i said orc!derek was like 7 foot?

cove is like 7 foot 2 or some shit

idk, but derek has competition!!

i don't think that's the normal height for mer-people either. well. not mermaids anyway. orcas and whales? for sure

he has claws as well!! he tries to keep them short bc he's clumsy but he has em

ykw i didn't considered webbed hands.... is that an idea?

...nah. i think his tail makes up for it since i imagine cove is missing some key mermaid qualities due to being part human

in his human form he has the claws as well

back to the big, 7 foot thing!!!

cove has big hands as well, of course in his mer form but also in his human form

even in his human form he's still over 6'5

lots of piercings in his ears. has studs in his ear lobes and has a chain connecting his helix and his stud on one of his ears

a chain of pearls on his wrist!!!!

oh. my. god.

waist chains.

of course he doesn't wear these nice shiny all at once lol, he's not into being blinged out like that, but wears any jewelry he's gifted all the time <33

wears waist chain's mostly when he's in human form, since he doesn't have any fins getting caught or evil pirates to worry about

!!! i almost forgot

he brings you many many gifts

he's like a puppy this way

you have jars of shells and sand, some sand different colors from certain beaches he's visited.

cove even brought you your own string of pearls, and you have mini towers of different colored sea glass

so many gifts that you have a whole book case for them and even then some things spill into other areas of the house

whether or not you met cove at a young age, i think you start to understand what all his different chirps and sounds mean

like a few quick chirps are a sign of happiness

i even imagine he purrs like a cat so he'll put your hand to his heart and let you feel the rumble of his chest

or he'll nuzzle your cheek and you can hear it in your ear <33

[traegorn]

You are older than me by atleast 1 whole me, (I think) so I think you're a good person to ask: at what point in this being an adult thing do I start to actually feel like an adult? Like I know something? Like I am capable of literally anything? Because I've been an adult for almost 10 years and I feel like im still 17 and lost and confused and scared and it really feels like everyone else found the secret knowledge of being an adult and I missed it. Like I'm fantastic in a crisis but otherwise I have no idea what I'm doing and I feel so much about it? I know I'm basically an infant in the grand scheme but I'm also supposed to be more put together by now? I don't know

Let me math that... you think I'm in my fifties?!

I'm 43. Like, I'm middle aged, yeah -- but, like, barely.

To answer your question: The secret to adulthood is NO ONE FUCKING KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING. You parents? They 100% had no clue what they were doing when they raised you. The only people you think know what they're doing? Faking it or deluding themselves.

I mean, not always, but probably.

I will say the one nice thing with time is that you gradually get used to doing stuff. Like, I can book myself doctors appointments and shit -- not because of any maturity, but because I had to... and then I got used to it. I know how to fix certain stuff on my car because I drove shitty cars and it was either learn how or not get to work. I know how to do my taxes because oh fuck I need to do my taxes and no one else will do it for me for free.

There's no blanket thing though. You learn everything individually. New things always suck, you just end up having more shit that you're used to (and therefore more comfortable with) as you get older.

And I also didn't get my shit together until my thirties, so, like, don't stress too much about it.

[razberrypuck]

obligatory qsmp zombie au thoughts that have been swimming in my brain (except its a little bit charlie/slimeriana centered bc im a sucker for them)

zombies are (more or less) the same functionally as normal zombies, but significantly more... sludge-y. as the infection spreads throughout the body, anything that can rot is overtaken by a disgusting, slime-like substance (jrwi fans think victims of the black sea). this substance, in its "purest" form is bright green; however that color may change when mixed with rotting flesh. this substance is extremely maliable, sticky, and can stretch quite far- but should not be handled without proper protection, as infection can and will occur.

direct contact with this substance is the only way to be infected by it. however, when an individual is infected, after a certain point slime will begin leaking from the eyes, nose, and mouth, as well as any wounds the individual may have.

behaviorally, changes don't typically occur until the previously described stage. then, infected individuals will become noticeably more hostile. an individual won't lose their sentience in full until the infection reaches the brain.

charlie slimecicle is patient zero. my man cannot catch a break. because of the manner in which he was infected, he seems to be partially exempt from the behavioral changes the other infected show (hostility comes and goes, essentially. he's usually able to control himself.) charlie is missing his left eye and entire right arm and shoulder; the latter has been replaced entirely by slime (though he usually wraps bandages around it to cover it up). he also as a large gash on his forehead, above said missing eye.

the first group survivors were originally two groups that merged into one (the two train groups minus charlie). the "eggs" are children they found about a month after joining forces. they split up the work of raising the kids between them, but it is very much a "it takes a village" situation. the brazilians and french are small groups of survivors that found and joined the larger group at later dates.

anyway uh at some point, somehow, juanaflippa is separated from the group. for almost a full month, no one has any fucking idea where this kid vanished to, and many are convinced that she died- but surprise, she didn't! eventually she finds her way back to the group, with a new friend in tow. another survivor, they think-- until they get a better look at him.

enter patient zero. as it turns out, flippa got very lucky, being found by charlie. injured and being hunted down by a hoard, he saved her life. it didn't take long for flippa to figure out just how infected he was, and how much danger she was in just being AROUND him- but he was kind, and took care of her as best he could in the month spent searching for her makeshift family. she was the one who insisted he join her when they found them.

it took a little bit of convincing, but they didn't immediately kill charlie. but, for fear of possible infection (though she had no way of spreading it if she WERE infected) the adults very strictly instructed the rest of the children to stay far away from flippa, and charlie as well. mariana, though relieved to have flippa back, was in the same boat regarding charlie's presence. they tended to argue a lot- but flippa still insisted upon being around him, so he and mariana spent more than enough time around each other.

I don't have many specific thoughts after this point yet but like. I have so much brainrot over this ik I don't normally post abt au's but I NEED to share this

if you have any ideas for ANYTHING w/this (absolutely doesn't have to be centered on the characters I talked abt specifically) even if it's just possible worldbuilding PLEASE add on I would love to hear more ideas!!!!!!!

[jeysbvck]

tell me you love me ('cause that's all that i need to hear)

a/n: thank u to my bestie @vigilvntes for reading and being my hype person and coming up with the perfect title for this little thing i wrote! comabuck has been embedded in my brain since last year thanks to the lovely genius @loveyourownsmiilee first spoke about the theory, and after 6x10 i reworked the wip a little and came up with this! hope you all like it, and please reblog!!

warnings: minor spoilers for 6x10, angst, fluff, coma buck. if im missing any just let me know!

word count: 2.6k

summary: "You're in love with Buck." Maddie said like it was a factual statement. The sky is blue, the grass is green and Eddie is in love with Buck. "You didn't know?" She asked.

"No, I, um, I knew." Eddie confessed, and a weight fell off his shoulders as he did. "I just…"

"Didn't know anyone else knew." Maddie finished, and Eddie chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as he nodded. "Yeah, exactly." "Well, I'm pretty sure the only person that doesn't know, is Buck."

The sounds from the television mounted on the pale blue walls and the high-pitched rhythmic beeping from the monitor Buck was hooked up to were no match for how loud Eddie's thoughts were. He couldn't stop playing what happened in his mind, like he was watching a horror movie on a movie screen. He went over every moment, from Buck going up the ladder instead of Chim, of Eddie himself hooking Buck's rope. He'd lost count of how many times he'd done it, it was almost second nature at this point, but had he made a mistake this time?

Eddie knew he'd never forget the sight of Buck's lifeless body hanging from the rope, or the way his stomach dropped, his chest tightened as he realised what had happened. He saw it when he closed his eyes, he could see it now, and each time it made him want to throw up. Sure, Buck had been hurt before, and it scared Eddie, but not like this, and he'd never been out for this long, he'd never been quiet for this long. Eddie longed to hear the sound of Buck's voice; to hear one of the random facts Buck had learned, or for Buck to ask him a question about a receipe. Even if he could just hear his laugh that filled Eddie with warmth and comfort, like it was his favourite song.

The conversation with Chris about Buck was almost as hard as the conversation about Shannon. Eddie didn't know what to tell him, he didn't have the answers to the questions Chris was asking. He couldn't promise that Buck would be okay, he couldn't tell him if or when Buck would wake up. After Eddie and his son cried and hugged, they had a movie night, with ice cream for dinner, but Eddie couldn't focus. All he could think about was when he was shot and was it all as hard for Buck as it was for Eddie now? Did Buck feel like this; did the thought of losing his partner shatter his heart into little shards that were stabbing his chest? Did Buck feel like his world was ending, just as Eddie did?

Eddie knew he had an advantage over Buck in their parallel situations. Eddie knew how much he and Chris needed Buck, it's why Eddie put him in his will. Something they hadn't spoken about, even since the shooting. Buck didn't understand how much they needed him, and Eddie was sure he still didn't truly understand, even after everything. Eddie needed Buck to fight to come home, to come back, and that's why he allowed Chris to visit Buck.

It broke Eddie's heart, seeing Chris' heart break as he stared at Buck. "He looks like he's sleeping." Chris whispered. Eddie choked on his words, but thankfully Hen stepped in, and placed a hand on Chris' shoulder. "He is sleeping," Hen replied gently, the smile on her face not quite reaching her eyes. "He just needs a lot of it to get better, and the machine helps him." Chris just nodded, then slowly made his way to Buck, sliding his small hand into Bucks large, soft ones. He started talking quietly, and Eddie could only make out certain words, but the one phrase he did catch made him leave the room before he could break down. "I know you'll wake up, Buck, because you promised you weren't going anywhere."

Eddie, Maddie, and the rest of the 118 all took shifts in sitting with Buck. When it was Eddie's turn, sometimes he brought Chris, who liked to read to Buck while Eddie spent the whole time choking on the permanent lump in his throat. When Eddie visited alone, he had to fight the urge to hold Buck's hand, he had to fight the wave of emotion that threatened to drown him. Instead, he told himself Buck could hear him, and he spoke about work, passed on Carla's messages, told him when to expect Chris; he talked about everything, except his own feelings.

That was, until, Buck crashed. Eddie and Bobby were watching through the window, while Hen was in the room. Then, the machine started beeping wildly, and Hen jumped off the chair as she screamed for someone to help. Bobby had to hold Eddie back as he tried to burst into the room, and now Eddie was hiding outside, begging himself not to have a panic attack, begging the universe not to take Buck away from him.

Maddie was the one who found him, and they sat silently on the bench. "He's back." Maddie said, after a while. "He's not awake, but they got him back."

Eddie let out a breath of relief, one he didn't realise he was holding onto, and Maddie put her hand on his arm. "You should tell him."

Eddie looked at her, confused. "Tell who what?" He asked, and Maddie chuckled. "Buck. You love him."

"I-uh-I-what?" Eddie stumbled, words failing him. Of all the things he thought Maddie was going to say when she sat down, this was not on the list of possibilities.

"You're in love with Buck." Maddie said, like it was a factual statement. The sky is blue, the grass is green and Eddie is in love with Buck. "You didn't know?" She asked.

"No, I, um, I knew." Eddie confessed, and a weight fell off his shoulders as he did. "I just…"

"Didn't know anyone else knew." Maddie finished, and Eddie chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as he nodded. "Yeah, exactly."

"Well, I'm pretty sure the only person that doesn't know, is Buck." Maddie replied.

"Yeah, maybe he never will." Eddie whispered. Maddie snatched Eddie's hand and gave it a squeeze, making Eddie look at her.

"Buck is going to be okay. He's going to come back to us, to you." She said, her resolve and confidence in her younger brother was enough to let Eddie hope too. "Tell him, now. It'll make you feel better, and it might be enough."

"Enough to what?"

"Bring him back."

-

So here was Eddie, about to confess to his partner, his best friend, the person he'd put in charge of his life, his world, that he was in love with him, with absolutely no idea if he could hear him. He took Bucks hand, which was surprisingly warm, and sighed. Even here, Buck was stunning, and Maddies words echoed round his brain. It might be enough to bring him back. Eddie was willing to try anything to make Buck open his eyes, and if this worked, if Buck opened his eyes and laughed at Eddie's confession of love, it would be worth it, just to look into Buck's breathtaking blue eyes.  

"Hey Buck, it's me, again." Eddie began, rolling his eyes as the heat of embarrassment crept into his cheeks. "Shit, this is embarrassing. I need to tell you something, and it can't wait anymore." Eddie sighed, his eyes fixed on Bucks face, waiting for any sign that Buck was waking up, or even just that he could hear him, but nothing. "Buck, I need you to wake up. I don't know how to do any of this without you. You just- you're such an important part of my life, of Christopher's life, we need you, more than you know."

"I can't function without you, Buck, nothing feels right. Being at work, without you there, it's wrong. Sure, we've worked without each other before, but this is different, because right now, you're not coming back. And I need to you're coming back. Movie nights without you don't feel the same, I miss you talking over the film, I miss you making us pause it because you have a crazy fact. Christopher won't even look at the zoo when we drive past it. He's been writing everything down in a little notebook, everything that he's been doing, so he can tell you when you're awake."

"Jee misses her uncle Buck too, she keeps asking for you, and Chim doesn't know what to tell her. She knows somethings wrong, kids always do, but she doesn't understand. We all need you, Buck, we love you. I- I love you, Buck."

Eddie wiped the tears streaming down his face, and his eyes darted up to the window, grateful that nobody was watching this unfold. Had Maddie told everyone about the conversation? Were they giving Eddie privacy because they knew he was confessing his feelings? He hated that this is how he had to do this. He hated that the first time he was truly expressing his feelings for Buck, was while Buck was seriously hurt. A part of him hoped it didn't work, that Buck didn't hear him, then Eddie could tell him after his recovery. He had recognised his feelings long ago, and he didn't want Buck to think this was just because he was hurt.

"Buck, I've been in love with you for years. I- I didn't know until therapy, but Frank- well, he made me see. I'm not sure when I fell in love with you, maybe it just happened one day. You just- you make me feel safe, Buck, there's nothing that feels more like home than being with you and Christopher. I handed you most of my heart when I made you Chris' guardian, and now I'm giving you the rest of it."

Eddie's heart slammed loudly against his ribcage, and he was certain that if anyone walked in now -or if Buck woke up- they'd be able to hear it too. He couldn't bear to look at Buck anymore, so he leant forward, dropping his head down as he brought Buck's knuckles to his lips. Then, he lowered Buck's hand back on the bed, but he didn't let go, even when Bobby finally came into the room.

"You alright?" Bobby asked and Eddie nodded. "Athena is on the way, she's bringing coffee, I think everyone's had enough of the stuff they serve in the cafeteria." 

Eddie chuckled, then sighed. "I'll get out of your way in a moment, Cap, I just-" Eddie stopped, his eyes wide as he stared at Buck. Was he imagining things, or did Buck just squeeze his hand?

"What's wrong?" Bobby asked, and Eddie shook his head. "Nothing, I just thought I felt-"

He felt it again, this time it was stronger and he looked up at his Captain. "Bobby, I think he's waking up!"

Bobby took two strides towards the bed and took Buck's other hand. "Buck? Can you hear me?"

Eddie's blood turned to ice in his veins as he flashed back to when he asked Buck that same question, before he realised he was unconscious in the air. Everything came rushing back, the tight chest, the guilt and anger that bubbled up when he tried and failed to pull Buck towards him. But when Eddie heard Bobby open the door and shout for help, Eddie was brought back to reality. His eyes found Buck, whose eyes were open slightly, as he adjusted to the light.

Eddie felt relief consume him, and he tried as hard as he could to blink the tears away as the nurses removed the tube from Buck's throat and helped him sit up. He watched silently as Bobby helped Buck take a drink of water.

"How you feeling, kid?" Bobby asked, and Buck's slight chuckle turned into a cough. "Like I've been hit by lightning."

Eddie rolled his eyes but his heart swelled. Buck's voice was gravelly, and he no doubt had a sore throat from the intubation tube, but he still sounded like himself. Eddie didn't even know what to say, he just stared at Buck, like he couldn't believe he was real. Like Eddie was going to wake up any moment, and Buck was going to be lifeless again.

"I guess I won't be working for a while, huh Bobby?" Buck said, and Bobby laughed.

"You've been awake for two minutes and you're already worrying about coming back to work." Bobby sighed, and Buck smiled, bashfully. "Just focus on getting better first, okay?"

"Okay." Buck agreed, then he looked at Eddie for the first time, and his eyes softened, like he was seeing his favourite painting for the first time. "Hey, Eddie."

"Hey, Buck." Eddie breathed. Hearing his name come out of his mouth, for the first time in almost two weeks, was almost enough to make Eddie burst into tears, but luckily he held it together.

"Hey Cap?" Buck said, his eyes fixed on Eddie, a playful smirk on his face, and Eddie knitted his eyebrows together, watching Buck suspiciously. "Did you know Eddie loves me?"

Eddie choked on air as Buck grinned smugly. Eddie was shook, not only by what had just happened, but by the mere fact that Buck had actually heard him.

"I'll go let everyone know you're awake." Bobby said, the chair scraping across the floor as he stood up, and before he left the room, he turned to Buck. "And yes, I did know."

Buck laughed loudly as Eddie groaned. "You're such an ass." Eddie said, and Buck grinned.

"Yeah, but you love me." Buck replied, and Eddie rolled his eyes. "Come 'ere." He said, beckoning Eddie towards him with a curl of his finger.

Eddie got up from the chair and sat next to Buck on the bed, the shitty hospital mattress dipping as he did. Buck too a deep breath, and then smiled. "I love you, Eddie."

"You...you do?"

Buck nodded and held his hand out flat, palm facing up. Eddie took it without hesitation, and Buck wrapped his fingers round Eddie's tight, just as he had done to Buck's earlier. "I'm in love with you."

Eddie's free hand instinctively caressed Buck's cheek, Buck's long eyelashes fluttering as he closed his eyes at the gentle, intimate touch. Eddie leaned in slowly, stopping just inches away from Buck's full lips. "You know, this isn't because you're-"

Buck closed the small gap between the two men, their lips moulding together as they fell into the kiss. Eddie had never had a kiss like this, it took all the oxygen from his lungs, the volcano inside him erupting as the world around them faded away. This is what a first kiss is supposed to feel like.

"I know it isn't." Buck mumbled against Eddie's lips. "We should've done that a long time ago."

"We're idiots." Eddie said with a laugh, and Buck beamed. "We've got plenty of time to make up for it, though." He replied, pressing his lips to Buck's again, just in time for the rest of the 118 to burst through the door.

Bobby, Athena, Maddie, Chim, Hen and Ravi all stood crowded at the door, staring at the two men on the hospital bed. Then, Hen grinned and shouted, "Time to pay up!" as Chim and Ravi groaned and muttered complaints under their breaths.

"You guys knew?!" Buck asked, and Chimney laughed.

"Neither one of you was very subtle about it, cowboy."

"I'm never going to live that down." Eddie grumbled, and Buck laughed as he kissed his cheek.

"Just be glad those weren't your last words to me." Buck teased and Eddie groaned again. "Is it too late to retract my declaration of love?" He asked.

"Yes it is." Buck giggled, then his voice dropped so only Eddie could hear him. "Maybe I still have my cowboy hat somewhere, from when I worked on the ranch. Would that make up for my mocking?"

Eddie raised his eyebrow at Buck, who was smirking shyly at his adorable attempt to flirt. "Hmm, It's a start." Eddie replied, before kissing Buck again, forgetting -or not caring- that everyone else was still in the room. "I'm gonna hold you to that, Buckley."

"Oh I'm counting on it, Diaz."

[cipher26]

this is truly a tmi but i have no friends to talk to about this stuff so here i am, yet again.

hooked up with a guy from tinder tonight. first time having sex. i'm quite proud of myself for going through with it instead of chickening out. i'm also quite surprised at how not nervous i was, which is either testament to my maturity and Growth™️, or a result of the anxiety meds which must be working wonders, absolutely top quality product right there. 10/10

it was also interesting that like...not only was i not nervous and less awkward than normal, but it didn't feel like...shocking? idk i lost the word i wanted, but like touching someone and having them touch me just felt normal. it wasn't weird or embarrassing or whatever, which again...testament to the cocktail of drugs im on lmao. but anyway, idk. i'm a pretty lowkey person to begin with, but it is hard to tell how you'll react to certain situations until you're there.

anyway it was great actually. i mean the guy was fine, attractive but also kinda basic like... the "do we really need a condom?" kind of basic which was almost funny. textbook "high school peer pressuring boy from the examples in sex ed class" kind of basic. it def wasn't romantic in any way, which is probably better for me at this moment. also it didn't last very long lol, and i didn't cum. not surprising but i did have some hope. thank goodness for the toys i have at home. and then i just left.

i'm sure most people would be shocked or appalled that my first time wasn't "special" or whatever (i didn't tell him i was a virgin, i told him "it's been a long time" cause i'm not gonna date the guy and didn't want to deal with that drama, and also i've used toys so it wasn't my first rodeo in a lot of ways).

but the thing is, most of the moments in my life that were supposed to be special, these milestones people romantacize, they were never that special for me. in fact i missed out on most of those life events entirely, for reasons. so this was really on brand for my life i guess. i'm just glad it was on my terms.

oh also it was truly just a quick fuck, there was no kissing involved, which is even funnier when you think about it cause i've never been kissed cause no one cares about me. lmao. my life is so ass backwards i can only laugh about it at this point.

i will say, it was an amazing confidence boost though. physically i'm in the worst shape i've ever been in, and have been convinced my whole life that no one could possibly find me attractive. but he did. i actually felt sexy. and suddenly i don't feel so... different i guess. idk i'm not saying the words right, but you know what i mean she says to the ether. i genuinely think the adhd meds have also helped, because i've been taking care of myself more lately, in some ways anyway. definitely not with eating food... so i think that helped me have enough confidence to even go for it in the first place. i almost didn't out of habit, but then i was like "bitch you are on this app for literally one reason..."

and also i walked into a bodega and bought condoms and didn't feel weird or embarrassed about that either...

honestly i have been wondering if these meds have maybe numbed my personality a bit, cause there are a lot of things going wrong in my life right now and yet i don't feel the familiar ache and coldness of the depression. but maybe this is how normal people function all the time, and i'm not being numbed i'm just feeling what normal people feelings are supposed to feel like for the first time ever, lmfao. i need a focus group of neurotypicals to compare notes with. "so these barely there feelings is how you experience life all the time? it's not an extreme rollercoaster of emotion? weird." lol.

anyway that's enough of that. i did jokingly say to myself earlier "you should lose your virginty before you have to move back in with family in a month, and for the forseeable future" and i didn't think it would actually happen but then it did lol. high five to myself.

anyway if you're still reading this for whatever reason, and you relate to my anxiety/depression/adhd fun factory combo, and you haven't talked to a doctor about trying meds to help manage, i highly recommend you do. i was so against it for so long, and it took me many years to admit that i needed help. and not just that, but that i WANTED help because i was so tired of struggling every day. but it has been such a relief. it's taken over a year of trying and adjusting meds (and convincing the doc that i definitely have adhd) to get to this point, but it's been so worth it. i feel like i'm finally getting to a place where im actually able to live my life, aside from the I'm Broke factor, and i know for a fact i would be a mess without the antidepressants because i'm literally in the middle of losing everything i've worked for for the past 15+ years, including my home, literally, and yet im able to get out of bed and exist and even laugh! that absolutely would not have been the case 2 years ago. so if you need help, please don't be afraid to ask for it. it's so worth it.

strange moral lesson to end this post with but.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 4 Himatsubushi pt. 3

The first of the TIPS in chapter four gets rather philosophical. It's a lot about how intertwined people truly are, simultaneously not at all, but could be connected in a big way.

The second of the TIPS is about the Inukai child who was kidnapped. The kidnappers talking around him about how he needs to calm down, and also if he doesn't vague threat vague threat.

The next morning Akasaka tries to wrangle a little tour of Hinamizawa using the cover of being a photographer who wants to capture the natural splendor of Hinamizawa before it gets submerged by the dam construction.

And just like that he's invited into village under the guise of a simple tourist. Quite surprising that those in charge of the village and the Onigafuchi Guardians would just let some rando in, but hey we need the plot to progress somehow. On his way through town he spies all manner of anti-construction/anti-government protest signs along the roadside until he arrives at his stop.

If you ever feel the need to ask yourself if you seem suspicious, you probably do. Nine times out of ten it'll just be nerves, but it's that one time you have to worry about. Especially when you're conducting a wee bit of espionage.

I'm surprised we didn't get the eyes at any point during chapter three. Seems like during the many many many many many many many many many many scenes of Keiichi going on about how he needs to kill X Y or Z it would've popped up, but surprisingly they didn't. I missed them, I missed the feeling of dread they gave. I don't think they're really wise to the fact that he's a cop, I think they're probably just giving him the suspicious stare because he's an outsider. The villagers seem certain that every person from outside Hinamizawa isn't on the level, so it makes sense they'd be untrusting of this random yahoo from Tokyo who just so happens to be wanting to have a poke around during such a sensitive time.

After getting off the bus filled with suspicious villagers Akasaka finds a small bus stop, which is filled to the brim with Rika and posters and such with protest slogans.

Akasaka, you're now two for two on saying things someone who isn't suspicious should say out loud. Stop it.

Seems even six years ago in the past Rika is fully aware of what's going on in the narrative. Although her calling Akasaka Tomitake Mk. II makes it seem like she's aware of the fact that Hinamizawa seems to be stuck in a time loop going back even further than the constant looping of June 1983. Since Rika is the physical reincarnation of Oyashiro, does she experience time non-linearly? Was I wrong about the notion that everyone knows about the time loop except for Keiichi?

Thinking about it I think I might be able to work out how it's happening, to an extent. Rika is the one going through the time loop. For whatever reason she keeps getting plonked back into June, 1978 and is forced to relive the events going from then until the end of June, 1983. Since she's relived these events however many times she's gone through them she's tried influencing events in an effort to escape it. Only for June to end, only to find herself back in 1978, and repeat the whole process over and over. And each chapter is a new wrinkle in the ever repeating process. This, for instance, is the first time she's interacted with a cop pretending to be a nature photographer. Hence: Tomitake Mk. II.

Akasaka suffers from the same instantly trusting of a person he just met disease Keiichi has (I almost described it as falling in love, but that felt wrong). It's explained away it's because Rika is his vision of what the perfect child would be, and his own wife is about to give birth to their own child. Brief tangent, and I apologize in advance, but I just thought of an absolutely wild theory that has no chance of being correct. What is the subplot of Akasaka having a child is somehow tied into the cult of Oyashiro? What if Rika is somehow trying to impart the spirit of Oyashiro into the unborn child of Akasaka and his wife Yukie, in an attempt to break the cycle?

After a nice drive around Hinamizawa, Akasaka is taken to the Furude shrine where he is able to do some light reconnaissance into the inner workings and strength of the Onigafuchi Guardians. He also meets the mayor of Hinamizawa Kimiyoshi (I want to say his first name is Keiichirou, but I don't remember off hand). Who is now slightly more relevant to the plot, as he now has a character art. Also there was this:

Which, I would like to thank the internet for making innocent terms sound extremely dirty and wrong. Also:

Anyway, during his brief wander around the Furude shrine grounds, Rika pulls him aside.

This particular chapter seems to be speed-running the usual song and dance of the chapters by getting to the central plot creepiness quickly.

"The girl I had spent time with... Rika Furude... would not speak like that." Akasaka, you've known this girl for maybe four hours. You don't know her, at all! How can you honestly stand there and say there's no way she'd act like this? For all you know, this is how she'd normally act! Just because you're mentally trying to imprint the idea that this unknown child is how your unborn kid will act doesn't make it so. Also, that's kind of a weird thing to do, but then again I'm not a parent, so who the hell knows, maybe expectant parents act like this all the time.

I'm now envisioning that scene from Disco Elysium where Cunoesse is taunting the detective into shooting her. Only replace the detective with Akasaka, and Cunoesse with Rika.

I think the Rika who was warning Akasaka to go back to Tokyo was the "real" Rika, the cute child with the meeps is an act. It's a facade she puts on to make other adults trust her, and disregard her as a helpless, safe creature that they can safely ignore and speak candidly around. I reckon, that in the future, 1981 and forward the only ones who see the "real" Rika are the other heads of the three families.

You can't really tell, but I'm pretty sure behind the text box here is the good old soulless stare. Also, I have to say, even looking at the box art (I know it's not an actual boxed game, but I don't know what you call the art on Steam and so on that have the title. Key art? I know there's an actual term for it, I'm just blanking on it.) I wouldn't have guessed that the chapter would take place six years before the other chapters and be the Rika and Ooishi chapter.

[wyvernest]

hi!! i LOVE your work and i really really hope this doesn’t come off rude. so i see your stories all the time and they’re all SOOOOOO FUCKING GOOD but there’s one problem i seem to have in almost every story of yours i read.

you tend to reference skin color, usually a white person obviously and it makes me not even wanna read the rest cus it’s so jarring; the way it sucks me (and any other person of color) out of the story. so i sent this kinda as a psa? i’m sure you don’t do it on purpose! i was hoping you could just be a bit more aware when writing <3

its not rude at all!! thank u for telling me about this 1. im not really sure what specific words i used reference skin color (bcs i avoid things like 'pale' etc) but im not saying you're wrong. if you could please educate me on the certain phrases that slipped past me so i can remember not to use them next time, it would be greatly appreciated<3

2. as an explanation, most of the fics i post originate from really old docs drafts i have from the time i thought i was never going to post them, so its very likely that i was way more self-indulgent then than i would've been knowing other people will read my stories too; and that self indulgence includes hinting at a skin color or a body type, sadly

3. while i still am quite self indulgent with my writing, my own skin color is definitely not a detail i need to include in my fics in order for them to still be relatable enough to me. i would hate to know that poc's don't feel comfortable reading my fics just because of something i missed when beta reading them / something i didn't know could reference a certain skin color

[stormyoceans]

Monica, you often write about your bisexual ass. Is that true? May I ask how you understood that? I'm going through a metamorphosis of myself right now, and you give the impression of a person who cares, who can share experience of findingself.

hello, anon!!!!

i can confirm i am very much bisexual and that i've dated both men and women, although my actual serious relationships count amounts to a shocking number of...... two. so you know. im hardly an expert ;;;;;;;;

realizing i was bisexual was a bit.. tortuous for me, but im gonna try my best to keep it short. im also gonna put it under a read more since it's personal stuff and people may not want to see it, so if you're still interested about my personal experience you can find it under the cut!!!!!

right, so. basically i had this best friend who i had known since elementary school and we were very close and very affectionate with each others: we would cuddle and hold hands and even exchange little pecks on the lips as an hello. no one worried about it when we were kids and we never really questioned its 'normalcy', but as we grew older (around 11/12 years old) our families made it clear that that was not 'appropriate behavior', because certain things were okay to do only with boys

then high school happened and that was.. pretty much the worst period of my life ;;;;;;; my friend and i went to the same school and were in the same class, but while she was well liked and had quite a few relationships with boys, i was bullied a lot, until one day they started to refer to me as 'that lesbian', as if it were an insult. my friend started to pull away from me a little, but she would also buy me a rose for valentine's day every year and say she missed me and that no boy made her happy as i did, so i was. a bit confused ;;;;;;;; i also felt jealous of her, but i wasn't sure if it's because i wanted to be her or if i wanted her to just be with me

and you know, i was already deep into fandom spaces at the time, but it was also very different back then: there wasn't a lot of genuine queer representation (brokeback mountain came out when i was 15 and the only other queer relationship depicted on screen at the time was tara and willow from buffy the vampire slayer), shitting on female characters was considered 'cool', and you could find essays on how liking yaoi and being interested in MLM was 'completely normal because those stories are made exclusively by straight women for other straight women' (which is why i now hate this mentality but that's a whole different matter)

ANYWAY. after high school, my friend and i grew apart, then i met a guy in university who i REALLY liked, who shared my same interests and gave me back a little of self-confidence, and we dated for almost two years. then one day my friend contacted me out of nowhere to catch up and when we met she confessed that she had always liked me, and when she kissed me i didn't stop her. so we got together and were in a relationship for three years before it ended (badly), but the important thing here is that i was in my 20s at that point, and queer representation and awareness had started to slowly get better, especially in fandom spaces where there wasn't just heterosexuality and homosexuality anymore, but people were starting to talk about bisexuality and asexuality and gender identities too, so reading about all of that kinda did the trick for me. it's when i looked back and realized that there was a reason why i was obsessed with both sailor moon and dragon ball as a kid, and that i did indeed have a crush on harrison ford as han solo in star wars and heath ledger in a knight's tale but also on keira knightley as elizabeth swann in pirates of the caribbean and katie mcgrath as morgana in merlin. it wasn't an either/or situation, i liked both and that was who i was

okay so this still ended up being long as hell ;;;;;;; and im not sure reading any of this was actually helpful, or if im even the best person to talk to about this, but i do wanna say something that i find to be true for my experience, which is: i feel like a lot of people think about bisexuality as a.. perfect balanced proportion, for lack of a better term, like it means that you're attracted to men and women (or men and non-binary people, or women and non-binary people, etc.) in equal measure, but that's not true. you can be attracted to idk.. 9 men and 1 women, or 6 women and 2 men and 2 non-binary people, and you're still very much bisexual in all cases!!!!!!

and the thing is.. i think labels in this case are important when it comes to give you a sense of self and a sense of community, but they don't have to limit you. i also think it's completely normal to maybe feel scared and confused when reading about sexual orientations and romantic orientations and gender identities, because there are some people who just connect with a definition and know who they are right away, but there are also people who don't know if something actually applies to them or not and that's okay!!!!!!! you can take all the time you need to figure it out!!!!!!!!

and if you're not sure what to identify with, but you do know that you're not straight, then it's perfectly fine to identify as just that: not straight (i know some people are not comfortable with the term 'queer' but i personally like it because you can use it as an umbrella term with that meaning, however there's nothing wrong in simply using 'not straight')

so, um, yeah ;;;;;; again, idk if this can be helpful in any way, because figuring out about being bisexual to me was just a mix of.. liking someone and trying to be in a relationship with them and then realizing you can like both men and women and thinking 'oh that's me!!', but everyone's experience is different. i don't think i have any advice to give you, except maybe 'be open to possibilities and talk to more people to hear about as many point of view as possible', but also you were right to say that i care and if you need someone to talk to, im here for you

hope you'll find the answer you're looking for, anon, and please know im holding your hand through this journey!!!!!!