#im afraid i don't have much time
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@greeniegaes I spoke the truth but at what cost....
*staggers towards the mic, all bloodied* Shen Qingqiu has a harem and anyone who denies it is Binghe
#that scary man standing outside my window...#im afraid i don't have much time#its either i kidnap shizun and use him as a bargaining chip#or turn into human pickle hashtag 2#mxtx#svsss#incorrect quotes#lou binghe#lou bingmei#shizun help
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hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.
if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.
additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.
i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."
"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.
#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"#to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid''#like..... gets me#yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai#and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that.#you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time.#dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem.#these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly.#they arent meant to be fun and exciting.#OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off.#but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X#dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was.#i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill.#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.#like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU#for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...
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Obsessed with what America and England have going on in HetaOni. America's like "I keep having to watch my dad die from overusing his magic in past timelines and not knowing how to stop it is killing me inside but I'm not going to talk to him about it" and England's like "I can't seem to hold a conversation with my son without insulting him but I won't hesitate to use my dying breath to ensure I can protect him from beyond the grave"
#good morning i still have hetaoni on the brain#that scene where it looks like america's going to die but turns out past loop england used the last of his strength to cast a shield on him#(+italy and germany) before sending them back to the present.... godddd#and then current loop england goes and takes on the monster america was worried about and succeeds. at the cost of going blind.#one of the very things america was afraid would happen!! he was so relieved when england survived the fight before finding that out too!!!#i don't know if this is coherent im just. they care about each other so much even though they won't say it and 😭😭😭 it makes me ill#sigh. rotating both them and hetaoni in my mind at the same time makes me so. waaughh#(also obligatory disclaimer that hetaoni doesn't label their relationship in any way them being father and son is just canon in my brain)#hetalia#hetaoni#hws america#hws england#tea dad n coffee son#personal#i have an old hetaoni wip fic that i think i intended to do more with but was mostly just about america and england as far as i got...#i can't remember the rest of my plans for it so maybe i'll shift the focus to them and try to get it finished sometime
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he is so so tired please get off his lawn
#hermitaday#docm77#hermitcraft fanart#docm fanart#hermitblr#my art#doc#doc has so many tropes that i love drawing but im bad at#mechanical bits.. anthro.. muscles...#anyway i was rlly looking forward to this one i love doc so much#the last time i drew him i drew him more. human guy with horns which i also enjoy seeing in doc designs#but idk. the anthro was calling. if i don't make doc the goat guy an actual goat who on earth else an i gonna do that with#i have furry ocs i just never draw them hfklfhklf#anyway i love the idea of like. all the redstoners having their own aesthetic when it comes to mechanical parts#whether that's actual cyborg bits or just stuff they build#i love imagining doc with like. whats the word. stuff that looks more scrapped together? almost apocalyptic#i imagine hes been working around the stuff for awhile and refuses to adapt to new aesthetics#guy who is still fighting the war. the actual war ended years ago but he just rlly rlly hates those kids on his lawn#and he's not afraid of breaking out the nukes to deal with them#we should all nuke grian#once in awhile#would be good for all of us
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Had the extremely upsetting experience of a mutual of like 6 years going off on me for occasionally making posts about supporting Harris because apparently that makes me a g n cide denier who refuses to learn and grow, with all of my views just being assumed not even from what I've told them I believe or what I've posted before, but just because I DON'T post particularly the kind of things they THINK I should be. When I pointed out how much they were just completely assuming about stuff I'd never talked to them about, I was told it doesn't matter what I do in real life or "care" about if I simply disagree with their conclusion and vote for her anyway. Like they were absolutely not sorry for the level of maliciousness they not just assumed of my character, but for some reason thought appropriate to bring directly to me before unfollowing me. No apology whatsoever for how discomforting or upsetting that might be and certainly no acknowledgment that I could disagree with them and still be a good person. I just got another even longer rant about how they fundamentally can't fuck with me because of this one thing, no matter WHAT else I do in my real life (which I pointed out that they do not know), and how I'm directly supporting fascism.
Like seriously what is it about Tumblr that makes people think they know someone based off of occasional posts? There were just such DEEP assumptions they were making of me and going off of very little or absolutely nothing. Around the time I first became mutuals with that person I used to express my personality and beliefs and talk about what was going on in my life a lot more openly, but I've significantly scaled back on doing that in many ways for many reasons. One of my major ones is privacy and the way I've had strangers outside my followers and following circles just find random things I say and dogpile me for it. I was fundamentally changed after some T Fs did that to me like 3 years ago. I also just didn't have many conversations w that person anymore (I message people in general on here like 10x less than I did circa 2018-2019, which I'm somewhat sorry about!). My point is to say I think this person felt comfortable assuming that they knew me, especially who I am in 2024 at the age of 25, much better than they actually did.
One of the specific things they accused me of was being afraid of learning and growing (because I don't perform social media activism on here like they think I should). Like AFRAID to take criticism. When again I've never received criticism from them or had to respond to any criticism on here before as pertaining to my views on... well, absolutely any of the issues they accused me of not caring about. They essentially treated it as if the only thing in the world I cared about was the US election and characterized me as the most out-of-touch liberal they could possibly imagine, because I'm not "pushing" Kamala Harris to be better (Oh?? Should I do that on here?? Does she read my blog??).
And most hypocritically what they said was that I only *sometimes* *vaguely* post pro-Harris things (I often post like 5 or fewer things in a day though?). But here's the kicker. "Because I know I'll get shit for it. And rightfully so."
Really????? Not a single person, anon or not, in my messages or in a tagged post or anything, has ever given me shit before for saying who I'm voting for. I'm actually NOT afraid of "getting shit" for that opinion, I just don't start fights with people who are anti-voting. And why should I??? I genuinely don't believe in trying to change the minds of strangers on the internet about that sort of thing. I'm just not confrontational about it; that is so not the same thing as being "afraid of getting shit." I'm not posting ENOUGH about my support for Harris, therefore I'm afraid. But therefore they can also make all these assumptions about me being their strawman for an ignorant Harris supporter.
I'm afraid of getting shit but I still post anyway? But if I weren't afraid of getting shit I'd be posting a lot more?? This is ALL based on their assumptions of what my blog *should* look like, based on what I really and truly believe. My level of posting every now and then is an accurate gauge of my feelings on complex, sensitive, global issues. Because I'm voting for the Democratic presidential candidate and I'm ok sharing pretty much just that little glimpse of myself.
I really don't think that person knows just how inappropriate and insulting that is to just say all of that to me. Like they really know what's going on in my head. Their first message began and ended with like "I'm sorry I love you I just can't take it anymore" but they clearly weren't sorry enough to try and be more respectful to me, and they didn't love me enough not to default to extremely ungenerous assumptions and attacking me based off of those instead of any actual words I've said that they take issue with.
Online radicalization is real and it's not necessarily bad because your political views can start to fall well out of the contemporary Overton window. The way you find it appropriate to treat people whose views, however common, seem to fundamentally misalign with yours... that does matter. You can't just assume the worst of everyone and then act on that in how you approach them as individuals. And then be shocked that you don't stay friends with them. You can't be confrontational with someone about an issue you've never had an honest conversation about, and then expect them to take your bad faith in them as reasonable well-meaning criticism.
I'm afraid of criticism??? I'm afraid of criticism. No I'm not. This person and I have never had an issue before where they criticized me and I got harshly defensive. It was ALL projection. The entire tone of their messages was as if all their anti-voting posts recently were somehow in communication with the occasional go-vote-for-Harris posts that I make. That's not a conversation. I don't post for your satisfaction. I don't post in "response" to my mutuals I disagree with. I just post what's on my mind, sometimes, about some things. I really again can't stress enough how baffled I am by this
#tales from diana#long post#this is not really a post about voting this is a post about online etiquette#i also remember that this person at one point when we were teenagers had a crush on me#so they might have somewhat idealized me or maybe just had respect for the good times#good conversations we had over the years etc#i still held them in regard even though some of their anti-voting posts i took serious issue w#again i really don't care to argue w ppl against voting bc really i mainly only disagree w that one conclusion#the systemic critiques that were made in those posts i don't think make them bad ppl#i sympathize w why someone might think that way#i just cannot pretend that i think nothing changes if we have dt as president again#i can't act as if im not anxious at the state of the world we're in where we're seriously at risk of that#i don't have that same level of concern about harris. i don't. i don't think theyre the same#i think they diverge in so many meaningful ways but im usually not writing detailed long thoughtful posts about it#do i have to??? for TUMBLR?? id rather not...#but i don't wish to be confronted as if these are nuances i MUST not hold in my opinion#can't stress enough they were basically calling me a g n cide denier like that's just a cool ok thing to do#i have literally never made a post about ppl not voting for harris bc of the war in gaza#i specifically haven't not because im 'afraid' but bc i don't believe in comparing those 2 things#there was gonna be a presidential election this year anyway and there does not have to be this war#if u think dems aren't doing well enough on the war for u to vote for them. i can't argue w u#but i was always going to vote anyway#again im afraid of getting shit?? ONLY this person has EVER given me shit until now#im not pushing harris enough? how tf do u know that? bc im not reblogging ill-informed posts from ppl like u?#im not PUSHING this woman running for president enough bc im not writing critical posts she and her advisers will never see#about how im threatening to withhold my vote from them. something id never honestly do considering the opposition#they kept stressing to me to about how they weren't a trump supporter when *i* never said as much to them#i do agree that not voting for harris 'supports' trump in that it benefits him overall#but i don't attack ppl who just aren't voting in that way. ok?#damn i hate being on the defensive like this
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realizing after meeting eldrin how many parallels I've completely accidentally managed to set up between davrin and rye despite the fact that they're such incredibly different personalities and feeling an embarrassing swell of real tears rising up
#...I don't care if it makes for a better story I'm not letting davrin die I can't let davrin die I'm shielding him with my own body#the narrative can't have him that's my brother and friend and assan's dad learning he's so much more than he thought he was#I want to run up to the last battle with davrin and lucanis and rye squabbling the whole way the way it was meant to be#...so I'm really going to just go ahead and fuck over the ancestral spirit of the dwarves again basically then aren't I fhsjka#ah yes. The true thedosian tradition: fucking over the dwarves so incredibly bad every time and like mostly as collateral damage!!!#when an elven god sneezes the entirety of dwarven civilization falls over dead on the spot for no reason. im so so so sorry#but. probably not sorry enough to let go of davrin's hand to stop him from falling fdhsakj#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#davrin#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#rye seeing davrin and eldrin interact and unavoidably thinking about how old renn would be today if he were still alive like 'this is fine'#(it was not fine but they won't actually realize that until their soul cracks open to reveal the abyss inside in about half an act's time)#I am going to do a 'golden' run with rye once I know the game in and out so I can get it all right (I didn't know him in the beginning!)#and do quests in the most pleasing order and everything. which has me afraid I'll explore the darker timeline where davrin does die#but like. let me have the other world first at least I'm going to be selfish on the first run
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No more star trek?
i still love star trek dearly! i wish i could be one of those artists who are just pumping out art all the time like it's nothing, but unfortunately i am quite slow and my drawing energy is limited so i tend to focus my efforts on my newest ideas, which are usually for my latest interests. i haven't necessarily given up on star trek—i still plan on participating in the yearly swimsuit zine however long it runs (i skipped this year's because of burnout and college but i'm doing better now), and i'd love to do some art for lower decks before it ends... but i can't promise anything :( i can barely keep up with new ideas for new interests, so going back to older ones is a little difficult for me, much as i try. i don't like it anymore than you do but it is what it is
#if you've followed me for any specific fandom other than quantum leap i'm afraid i'm going to inevitably disappoint you haha#i have projects from like five years ago i still haven't gotten to. many cool ideas i've had to abandon because of time or lost interest or#a changing relationship to the source media. i'm not good at this!#star trek is an inextricable part of my life and that won't ever change. i wish i couldve honored that better w more art but alas!#txt#i do plan on rewatching mash eventually. and im already rewatching queap once a week so i don't lose that thread#but star trek is such a huge fandom i don't feel like it's losing much without my contributions haha
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its so important to me that you know how much ive already cried over this wip and its literally only been two days
#if this ever gets finished it will be a blasted miracle#god i just. it is just so much to me#its right in that sweet spot where it fits exactly with the image of the character in my head#AND its pressing on the bruise of an enormous hangup for me in my real life as well#i say this very genuinely: i think if u are not used to the creative process of things like making art/writing/music/dance/drama etc#its difficult to really get into how emotionally significant and worldview-changing those processes can be#obviously they dont HAVE to be. u can sing a song just for the sake of singing it and it doesn't need to mean anything at all if u want#but when u are actually CREATING it. like from nothing. boy that can really get u (in a good way and a not-good way)#and i dont say this to make the creative process sound all superior and grandiose just to make myself feel better - i really do think#that there is smth profoundly transformative and tender inside it that it is so important to feel#i mean. essentially its the feeling that the high school theatre kids are addicted to lmao#but they r totally right to be because it IS addictive and it DOES feel really good#when it comes to writing fic for me it can be such a powerful emotional experience#i only used to get that from dance (and that didn't start to happen until at LEAST 11 or 12 years after i started)#its not always SO intense. but when it is then it Really Is#and i think you can kind of tell when you read it#sometimes its emotional bc its the satisfying execution of a singular vision - its motion capture/out of my head/resist and elongate#and sometimes its bc the feeling is so intensely and overwhelmingly personal - return to me/blood sugar baby!/reeling/sea change/#in my mind i think you can really see it in my human nature series - the one with warden and vega#i dont know if thats purely bc that series means so much to me - its been my baby for almost 2 years now#or if its also bc much of it has happened during a very emotionally intense part of my life#in any case when i say that these things are very personal i don't mean in a literal sense necessarily#im not ACTUALLY out here building stalker museums or cannibalising prison guards or splitting the fabric of time#bc whats important is how it FEELS - at the heart of those fantastical things are emotions that aren't magical or supernatural at all#feelings and fears and desires that i have in my life - translated into something much bigger and grander and easier to talk about#do not worry because this is not going to be read by anyone. but if i were your english teacher i would tell you#to go and have a skim of one of the fics i mentioned just now#and i wonder what you think i was thinking about when i wrote it#what i was afraid of or what i was wanting or what i didn't know how to deal with#i dont have to ask because i already know. but i think you could guess if you really really wanted to
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u ever get so anxious that if u move u might throw up
#bc rn i am paralyzed in my bed thinking abt if i got this job or not#idek if they'll tell me today but i have a feeling they will#my whole body is trembling and im having heart palpitations#idk if i can go into my other job today i feel so sick#i had so many dreams last night that i didn't get the job and i kept waking up in a panic#i'm trying to have faith and be positive but i really just cannot stomach rejection#i have already invested so much time and energy in this process#if i don't get it i'm going to be absolutely crushed#fuck i'm so afraid
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I love it when im looking at my own post on my own Tumblr and it shows me the 'more like this' collection of posts and it shows posts from blogs I've blocked like?? Yes girl that’s exactly what I wonna see :D man this site is insufferable lol
#ig this is kinda like a vent but not really im just being petty :p#man I fucking hate this webbed site#would y'all hate me if I left Tumblr and moved to twitter fr this time LMAO#this also happens to posts by people I've blocked reblogged by others like?? Tumblr STOP I do not want to see that askdjhadkj-#I don't really need to know when my mutuals are doing that come on now ://#also the blacklisting feature?? why do u need to give me the option to see posts just just let me mute things for good <//3#in some strange way I think twitter functions work better than Tumblr lol#at least my notifications are real there and half my followers aren't bots </3 blocks actually fucking work#so much easier to tell what people believe in/stand for too akjdhjd-#someone liked a tweet of mine and right in their bio they had like all the twt factions they're in and Saw Some Alarming ones and nope righ#to the blocklist- I don't have that type of security on Tumblr ppl actually keep parts of their lives private here wtf /lh /hj#the issue with twitter though is that im afraid to be annoying there cuz I mostly just post art and interact with like the 5 mutuals Im -#not afraid of#also tags on Tumblr my beloved <33#also no one on twitter knows im a Furry Artist Primarily and atp im too scared to let it be known </3#im just a silly wolf girl who accidentally grew a following release me from this hell /lh#Maybaps it’s time for me to take a Tumblrer break now that the season is bungover
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Nobody asked but white supremacy is the reason why white women are obsessed with true crime.
So when chattel slavery was becoming cemented in the United States and other European areas, the idea of biological race and racial hierarchy emerged to justify the generational enslavement of Africans and the genocide of indigenous people. Africans and other non-whites were labeled as less developed, more susceptible to their "primal urges" and committing sex crimes and therefore needed to be controlled by white men. Specifically to protect white women.
White supremacy is typically framed as necessary to 'protect' (read: control) white women, the mothers of the next generation of whites. They must be protected from "sexually voracious black men" (read: miscegenation and mixed race children). So white supremacy operates on the myth that white women are constantly under threat of sexual violence and must be protected by white men.
That myth becomes baked into the public consciousness, many unaware of the origin or even that the idea is there. It even becomes less racially based, but there is still a common belief that white women are inherently vulnerable to violent crime. Especially among white women. To be fair, it's difficult to not internalize an idea that you are not exactly aware of but is still seeped in every interaction and bit of advice. Don't wander off, don't talk to strangers, don't go out alone or late at night, cover your body, hold your keys between your fingers, take self defense, watch your drink, don't be under the influence. Your body is soft and valuable and delicate and you must protect it.
This idea of vulnerability is reinforced in the news media, which chooses to focus on stories which fit this particular narrative of white women's vulnerability. Missing white women syndrome. This subconscious belief has saturated society. White women develop an outsized fear of death by violent crime. So what do they do? They embrace it. They eat up stories of families like theirs and the deaths of women like them.
It's been suggested that experiencing that fear of violence in the controlled environment true crime provides can be cathartic, somewhat like watching a horror film. There is also a sense of justice and closure felt when the perpetrator of that crime is punished.
In conclusion; White women love true crime because it's a coping mechanism for their deeply embedded fear of violence which was established and is upheld by white supremacy.
#statistically white women are the least likely to be victims of violent crime. they can be and all victims need support but white women are#just not as vulnerable as society makes them out to be. and it becomes the standard of behavior and treatment for women of all races#women don't need control and protection they need empowerment and for men to treat them like goddamn human beings.#i kno im using binary language but u tell me how to better word this. the binary is fake tho. all the little stranger danger things got to#me. walk away from the street don't walk too close to unknown men I'm not afraid of my community!!! no one should be!!!!#we should not fear each other. i understand that violence and assault are real things that happen to people all the time but it's much more#likely to happen to men and women of color. they deserve love and support and real effective change. and white women shouldn't have to#be afraid and feel vulnerable. we need legitimate efforts to address and prevent random violence#not fearmongering and the offloading of responsibility onto potential victims. anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk#why am i talking#maybe I'll use this one day#i wrote this at 2am don't @me. i am right tho. i also like me some ethically filmed#true crime content. it needs to be tasteful though. and people need to be normal about it.
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Anyone else have big dreams and no idea how to realistically achieve them and a fear of inadequacy so they're worried they're going to stagnate in their current situation because they're too afraid to leave it or is that just me?
#personal#inferiority complex#i have so much shit i want to do#i want to leave the job im im because i dont like it#i want to be using my degree for mkre than i am#i want to be working full time in theagre and/or film#and i keep applying for jobs and just get every door slammed in my fucking face every time#and now im almost 26 so i have to worry about any job i *do* take offering insuramce#and the job im in right now 'much as i hate it has insirance for when i turn 26#and I'm afraid to leave because of that even though they don't even pay me a livable wage#if i wasn't living with my parents I'd probably be homeless or have 0 savings#and its not like i can really say fuck it and quit and move somewhere more conducive to what I want to do because I have savings#because I need a job somewhere that can pay me enough to support rent and has insurance and those are in short supply#i just feel like shit#i feel like im stuck in this rut and don't know how to get out of it and am never gonna get out#im just exhausted
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Been dealing with some really bad self esteem shit lately...
#had big cries today#still kinda teary#basically imposter syndrome to the max#except like you know how imposter syndrome suggests you actually DO belong somewhere?#idk I just feel really stupid and like a fake#and im scared im doing bad shit#I'm afraid im in the wrong field#like I don't belong here#things with my supervisor have been meh#he has hinted at it a bit but maybe i read too much into it idk#the suggestion that I might be in the wrong field#and I feel it bc I feel so fucking stupid all the time#like I never know what I'm doing#and I don't even have anything to validate myself#just feeling like shit#like I don't belong#it's hard bc people always say everyone is like that - everyone is faking it#except I am SEEING people NOT faking it#im SEEING people do the right thing that i don't know how to do#and I feel so stupid#im just scared#idk#personal vent
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if i drop out of college i may lose the opportunity to make friends with other people in similar age and interest groups VS i'm already not making friends in college so it's not like i'm missing out on much. FIGHT
#goddddd i am so miserable. things will be ok eventually but right now god they suck#i made it to class today and im so dissapointed in myself bc ive been here for 4 years so ive seen a lot of the same people and i still don#know them and they dont know me. i wish i knew how to make and maintain friendships better#also i know that friendships don't stop when college stops its just the fear talking#but i sure am afraid!#today is the first time ive left my apartment in like 1.5 weeks ive been so fatigued. i dont know how im supposed to do this#but i also dont know how im supposed to tell my mom i might drop out :(#anyways anyways anyways#i have a meeting with a coach from my uni disability services later and i might ask about it then. i feel like theyre gonna discourage me#which is fair but like im not looking for encouragement so much as resources#like if i DO drop what should i do next#orating!
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#WHY DOES IT ALL HAVE TO BE SO MUCH#i don't usually get like this. im usually a kind of person that just lets stuff happen around me and not care a lot in terms of like social#behavior and relationships#you meet people. sometimes they go#that's how it is#there's people that we just drifted away or they vanished and it wasn't hard feelings#and normally i get over it. i miss them alot but it doesnt hit me this hard#and the thing is i haven't even lost anyone#it's just ive been so angry and low energy and pissed off by everything all the time that ive been distancing myself#and even when im not like that.. im just tired. my brain is clouded i just don't have anything to say#i want to say something but there isnt anything#so i havent been talking to a lot of people#and im like really afraid by the time im done working over whatever this is. that people will have found more other people they#prefer to talk to more or are closer with or we just find out its been too long and we dont have anything in common anymore#because i know ive been away from my friends more and more of late of late ive barely talked to anyone at all beyond 1-2 message exchanges#sometimes not at all .this isn't abnormal#but i happen to the kind of person who crumples if i don't get some kind of interaction daily#so as much as im empty-headed and angry and bad at conversation i need to be around people constantly#at the end of the day i don't have anything going on outside of drawing and talking to friends. i have nowhere to be in real life#i cant go anywhere. i don't know anyone and i hate my family#i don't know. im scared and lonely and it feels like i can be kind of a nothing person to talk to#dib noise#some of this is problems with myself which i do work on and i work on them hard. i don't want to be like that#i'm bad at meeting people too. i don't like taking risks or new things its all so much#I SHOULD CLARIFY. i am happy for poeple i am close to when they meet new people. i love hearing about them#and meeting them. i just have a horrible fear of being replaced or forgotten
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Thinking abt Him again (Wendy Carter)
#rat rambles#missing my favoritest carter atm. and also wendy ig#I am sad that wendy skill tree drop isnt by webber's side but at least abby gets to be skill tree bros with Her bestie 😌#I still haven't looked at wendy's skilltree because god I am afraid why has it been taking this long wendy abby what did you two do#I will keep procrastinating tho because even tho my standards aren't technically all that high I still feel like they're too high#wendy has like 4 game mechanics and I ideally would want his skill tree to stay focused more on those things#Ive heard that wendy's skill tree lets him do some stuff as a ghost and thats. neat I guess. but its not what Im looking for.#I Really don't think Wendy needs whole new types of mechanics I just want stuff to make sisterns both good and interesting some stuff for#abby to make her more fun to fight stronger enemies with and some new elixers#and tbh. I dont like the idea of wendy himself doing cool ghost stuff. if anything Id rather he be able to buff other dead players#I just think a vital part of wendy's kit to me is that without abby hes just a less shitty wes#but the problem with that is that it means that for like 90% of the bosses (it Im being generous) you are fighting as a less shitty wes#and could fuck around with the idea of wendy expanding from being an abby specific support unit to a more general support unit#now ofc this would have drawbacks and be hard to implement well but y'know.#I also just dont like the idea of too many non abby ghost perks in general as I think it would just add needless bloat#which tbf is like what half of every skill tree is so idk what I expected#some characters rly do need the extra mechanics due to very nothing burger base kits but I really don't think wendy needs that much#again the tools for giving wendy and abby cool flashy shit or more practical stuff are already present#so yeah idk if Ill like his skill tree much. which is why Ive been avoiding looking at it like the plague ever since it was announced#I try not to be too bitchy abt skill trees even tho I've basically never liked them since most of the time they're inoffensive#but this is my boy so I will be a big baby about his skill tree being mid no matter what they put on it lol#I hope walter and wortox mains are having fun at least they both need the reworks badly#now for walter I dont trust that a skill tree will be what he needs but wortox can work with this I think#just above all else god I hope webber's skilltree is good whenever klei decides to release webber from their basement#poor boy needs the buffs so bad he has been painfully outclassed in every regard for years
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