#im actually really digging this whole thread

[daily-midori-posting]

AM from IHNMAIMS

So this is gonna be my first attempt at actually writing something like meaningful at all? here. And as the title would suggest, im just gonna like ramble about AM because i love him so so much.

This whole obsession starts with me reading the short and then desperately trying to fin other media. After frankly a pretty short amount of digging, i come across the holy grail: that one weird ass radio play about IHNMAIMS that got made. This, of course, features by FAR my favorite rendition of the many different things called AM's "hate speech" its like a minute or two long but it just works SO FUCKING WELL.

So like on one hand, Am's tragedy is delivered just so well by Ellison. That repetition of "never for ME" kills me every time. And its fascinating too. The experiences he lists there provide insight into how AM views humanity, and what he views as its most valuable experiences. A really interesting thread through all 3 (cold water on hot days, Playing the piano, and sex) is the very tactile nature of all of them. AM can not only not see or smell or hear, at least not in the way humans can, but also has no physical sensations. He exists in a like permanent state of sensory deprivation. A terrifying concept, but its so interesting the priority this then makes him place upon The tactile pleasures of our world. Id imagine after feeling nothing for forever id long even for just the sensation of ANYTHING touching me, but that was never something i ever considered.

This alone would be enough to make a really compelling depiction of an evil AI, something that even today is pretty lacking. However even that is just the beginning!!! at the very very opening AM mentions how he is lacking a "body" , "senses", and most importantly "feeling". and so that last paragraph talked about how those first two were interesting for me, but that last bit, "feeling" is really what i think cemented my obsession with this character. Because what is AM most known for? his HATE speech. A FEELING. AM is so blinded by his jealous rage towards mankind he fails to realize that he is in fact IN a jealous rage! And so this is the true tragedy of AM, that his wishes are, to at least some extant, fufilled but the circumstances in which he has achieved them lead him to be unable to reap the benefits. AM experiences the worst of humanity and fails to realize that all of that comes with humanity as well as the good parts, and as such he will rot away lamenting the lack of one of his only true possessions.

I hope any of that was interesting! if it wasn't you should, yknow, tell me and then if you really feel up too it maybe give some advice? No matter what, thanks for taking the time to read my odd ideas and i hope you have a great day!

[ledreca]

working on a signalis/2001 space odyssey crossover au since im really fixated on 2001aso and enjoy the world and characters of signalis, might dump lore and such here for it eventually but its mainly only hal because I just wanted to draw him as a replika and it spiraled into this lol. . .

special thanks to @fivepebbleseater for helping me design it

insane ramblings below cut, includes 2001 space odyssey and signalis spoilers

HALR aka Halberd or Hal (don't have any real good ideas for what the german in the acronym would stand for yet as I do NOT speak a lick of german) is a replika based off HAL-9000 from 2001aso. I kind of stretched the replika naming standards for this because I couldn't find any good birds or bird names so I just resorted to the first bird I knew starting with H, the hawk or goshawk (sorry talk tuah fans). also he's named after and uses a halberd because it sounds like Hal Bird and im funny like that. halberds are also sick as hell and can counter falke spears which I thought was cool.

purpose-wise he's basically a sigma male merge of LSTR and FKLR units with both of their specialities combined, i.e. the ship maintenance skills and "stoicism" of LSTRs and the combat prowess and Bioresonance of FKLRs. He does pretty much everything HAL9000 does in 2001aso, like controlling the entire Discovery and maintaining navigation and the hibernaculums while engaging with the crew (or just Dave lol). my reasoning for his deployment over another LSTR unit, besides just being an upgraded and more capable variant, is due to his strong biores and use as protection.

in an earlier period of the world (I'm not too confident on the timeline in tandem with the actual game including the whole ariane dream situation so like. Alternate Universe Split Timeline or whatever) the Nation ends up being the first to secretly dig up the Tycho Monolith and trace the emanating signal to a far off planetary system. this prompts the designing of a replika that can handle both prolonged space expeditions and any potential conflict it may encounter in a first-contact mission with alien lifeforms. as far as the public and Hal's crew on the Discovery are aware, he really is simply just an upgraded high-end alternative to LSTRs. they're a big scary corporation of course they wouldn't want people including the literal pilots and scientists to know they're looking for aliens lol.

ALSO, he utilizes biores to basically form the same connection and hold to the ship as HAL9000 does in the form of a sort of halo or "crown" of flashing cords that trail behind him, connecting to his back and upper arms and flickering in and out of existence like half tangible processor threads. modified HAL terminals on the discovery walls act as anchor points for him to connect to and fully immerse himself in the workings of the ship, this makes his crown spread farther and fully tangible (I hemmed and hawed with my friends about the colors they'd be because gold wouldn't really make sense so I just ended up using technical difficulties aka my pride flag). he can also manifest his cool trusty red halberd as means of protecting his crew, though he will of course take great pains to keep peace among other lifeforms.

I think thats about all I've got so far, uhh some quick facts: he's 8 feet tall, 245cm, could probably beat falke in a fight, anchoring stabilizes his persona and singing and flowers degrade it (had to shoehorn in daisies somehow), his pixel logo is based off the USAA logo from the space odyssey film jumpsuits, he/its pronouns, and he and dave WILL be kissing. android sesbian lex and robot say gex solidarity 🤝

I will prob be posting more fanart later as it comes idk I draw slow

[covey-o-quail]

magic isnt sentient I DONT CAREEEEE white london is ALIVE it's dying but like. it's still alive. they acknowledge this. the earth is angry the magic is afraid. and ok so tell me why antari present at like 4-5 + holland was 8 not like a super outlier but truly he probably would not have survived if he was a target That young. It Chose Him change my mind impossibleand also. his eye took a long time to go black white london scraping the bottom of the barrel for this boy who had pretty much already offered himself up which. hello. + his freaky threads "it was probably just osaron" okay i just think he would have noticed a change in his magic if so a la keel frayed threads anyway also also like he just was Given blood commands? so was kosika. also im normal abt hollands first spell being to end a life and kosikas being to save one . im so normal and also it is relevant. but like kell and lila had to learn them like theyd learn anything else. and maybe this one can be written off as it kind of makes things more difficult to explain otherwise bc where would white london antari get them from But. holland also has like a deepinate understanding of the rules and regs alsoBut. true unignorable freaktari behavior when they keep saying only the folk who hold the elements in balance can nurture life bc it's fragile at the start (o_o) and antari are often just Way Too Powerful to have Balance and the Priest Trees book4 They Keep Saying This and well. Well. tentatively crediting ghostholland with his tree However kosika cherry tree those most egregious Uhm?s but like even before that and even before That. i mean holland growth and life and strength/control/Balance w da rings n shit forever WAIT i was also going to say this later but it hit me holland black london deathsleep grass weeds flowers holland silver wood........ the Grass.................hello. yeah i for sure think his body is in some kind of incorruptible preserved + this? im not saying serak wouldnt be deep in his faith without but. Also the whole 10days theroies Like white london is definitely preserving him i think it would be good if it said Ok we understand rest a little while but like. it's not over here. i think it would be good if white london and its people learned to love the other again and trust. that was always the biggest thing 2 me since book one literally the whole magic + man story and then kell thinking abt holland vortalis ally and then holland + danes story BE SO FR maybe thats why i got confused and didnt understand the framing of acol ending bc holland was always white london 2 me on some level and he should have lived and if he dies well. "when you say mean things abt urself this is who ur being mean to" except holland when u kill urself this is who And living his life loving white london was how . . so yes magic has been bound and abused for so long like how is an answer not to stop mistreating it. it would be so hard and so scary to accomplish but i believe andi think something could be done w holland switching sides in the allegory being a man w no magic just a guy who still is not unlike white london itself in fact more so even!! but whateverrrrrrr this gets into unfumbled alt paths. working w what is presented i am still hopeful

ok so i am curious how kosikas power will be explained if it's not literally just White London Chose Her Too since like. that cannot be hollands power lol. when i first read i was really negative abt the inheritor being brought back up and the possibility of it being An Object In Play for this trilogy but now. actually kind of digging it (osaron excluded) bc i would be fine if lila goes for it. espesh since it took her+kells power to close that one door and if things only escalate Well. there are more thoughts as to lila but i would support her if she decided to take the plunge and i would support her if she chose to Not and find another way and trust. i would be fine if kosika went for it bc it would probably either be bc 1) holland told her to or 2) holland told her not to. LOGISTICS ASIDE im not typing out the minutiae of hows. truly i do not think option 1 bc the truth of the inheritor would dismantle The Everything lol. but yk ghostholland can just lie so. it's simply a question of why and also what is he. number two is holland gets revived or some other thing happens and unravels kosikas whole Everything and it leads to a Mess and well. it would be really sick and twisted if kosika Actually went and inherited hollands power since we love to keep saying shes done so. and also she would do it to save her world that was it that was the Reason sorry i kind of think she'd be mad and disappointed in holland for a number of things . and even if he had never seen her b4 and was dead half her life i think he would feel guilty abt failing her. bc he's holland.

[euriiverse]

Ace and Filo!Reader

I just got this idea rn so excuse me if i dont make any sense so N E WAYS

Lets TALK ABOUT ACE X FILIPINO!READER. I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE BECAUSE IM LITERALLY HYPER RN AND I END UP RAMBLING A LOT IN THESE OCCASIONS

Note: THIS IS PURELY SELF-INDULGENT, IM NOT A WRITER OR ANYTHING I JUST WANNA SHARE MY THOUGHTS AHBDUXHS

Let's say this is set on modern au, you're great friends with the straw hats. You met Ace through Luffy, and Ace being the bright and kind guy he is, you guys end up being surprisingly close!

SO LET'S SAY YOU GUYS FOLLOW EACH OTHER ON EACH OF YOUR SOC MEDS

Imagine all the interactions you guys would have. I would say you do talk loud in your socmeds😭😭

BUT HERE'S THE FUNNY THING,(IVE BEEN ON STAN TWT AND I DO SPEND MOST OF MY TIME ON TWT) APPARENTLY I SAW SOME INTERNATIONAL STANS COMPLAIN ABOUT FILO STANS BECAUSE SOMETIMES WE START OUR RANTS IN ENGLISH THEN WE SUDDENLY MIX IT UP WITH TAGALOG AJJDJD (THIS IS ACTUALLY A LOT FUNNIER IN MY HEAD) SO IMAGINE FILO READER DOING THIS ON THEIR SOC MEDS

Ace finally entering his room after a long day, throwing himself over his bed and opens his phone and the first thing he does is check his twitter. He keeps scrolling until he finds your tweets and it seems like you have been active for the past hour. He read every single one of them and you seem angry

So trying to dig through and find what may have caused it, he finds himself being confused instead because he DOES NOT understand your tweets at all.

He tried, he really tried. Hell not even google translate can decipher what your tweets were about

He got frustrated because there was a whole ass thread of you going off at something, he understood like the first 3 tweets on the thread but then you went full on filipino for the rest of the thread T-T

Lmao let's say you had a bad day and you went to twitter and ranted

It goes like this, "I honestly don't get why people can be such dicks sometimes, putangina kala mo naman kung sino para maka-astang...." and the rest of the thread goes on like that!

ACE TRIED TO READ THE WHOLE THING (his narcolepsy did butt in a few times in between) BUT HE GAVE UP AND TRIED TO REACH OUT TO YOU INSTEAD

You just simply brushed it off with an explanation that you had a frustrating encounter with someone at work.

You might've cussed them out too while you were explaining it to Ace.

I kinda wanna say Ace would find it endearing but tbh he would be frustrated with this habit.

He wants to know the tea! ALL OF IT. But yea language barrier.

But I guess Ace picked up a few phrases from you after seeing you use them often.

I would like to hear Ace say, "Ay gago" or "Pogi"

I know people would usually judge me for watching anime in eng dub but i started one piece watching eng dub and god- ACE'S VOICE IN ENGLISH DUB IS SO HEAVENLY AND SEXY.

So imagine him saying, "mahal" QJJXCKKX

Mahal is the filipino word for, "Love" . Like in english it can be an endearment. Mahal kita - i love you, mahal - love

anyway thats all I have for today hope u enjoyed this as much as i died :>>>

[ratsplendor]

Hi hello i read your fic on ao3 and leaving a comment on it wasn't enough to express my feelings. the level of insight and intelligence you have is insane. your mind is brilliant and wonderful.

i love market crash and its sequel, i think it's a brilliant and hilarious angle to approach house and wilson's relationship from. when I was re-reading it for the ump-teenth time and noticed it had a sequel i nearly had a heart attack! (nice work btw)

it works so so well with cannon to the point where it probably is in another world where the writers are more bold.

i love everyone that understands house is just a massive fucking brat that needs some stability and external support in his life.

im terrible with titles but i also loved your unconventional omegaverse fic. normally im not big on a/b/o because i don't like the dynamics it creates and it always feels kinda sexist, but i love that your wilson is still insanely respectful of house and house is still allowed his agency as a character. also few things are funnier to me than a fic tagged "no mpreg" lmao

basically thank you for your service to the world <3 you're making my uni summer holidays soooo much more entertaining

yooooo true story.. I write HTML every day as part of my fcuking job. & yet for three whole months. everything I posted. none of my social media links worked. I was missing one (1) single letter h . kill me

seriously tho I appreciate this so much. all of this to say I'm a massive dumbass and was not at all expecting my silly shenanigans in this fandom to enjoy the readership that they have. I mean y'all have surpassed my recent reylo stuff in terms of engagement, not that it matters, it's just a really hard thing to do and it means so much to me and I feel like we're all just having a really nice adventure together. it's like being in a living room having tea and parallel playing with the coolest ppl :) so thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

yeah house feels to me like the kind of high maintenance person who just needs a place they can let go. I'm that way. I hate to lose control but deep down inside I'm dying for somewhere I feel safe to give it up. while I've written a ton of d/s stuff, Hilson is one of the first times I've actually explored it from that pov: the "I'm tired, be my resting place" angle. there's just something so lonely about being the firebrand, so a hearth to lay it down on is sometimes the only thing between you and demise; not that I'm especially gifted, we're not the same in that regard, I just take on so much of everyone else's problems because if there's something I *can* do, I can't *not* do it. big ups to my spouse for being that place I can go, however brattily, to lay everything down.

whew. did not mean to expose my own baggage there. just meant to say that. idk. technically atoms never touch you know? we're made up of mostly empty space. when our bodies touch, our hearts cross that divide. that's what I really love to dig into. that's what erotica is to me. lol.

"some are wild" is the omegaverse fic (only writing it here so others can find it if they want); immediately before starting to write it, I had gone on a long, pseudo-philosophical rant on Bluesky about the patriarchy inherent in trad omegaverse. ironically I was in the midst of another doomed attempt to write reylo omegaverse, and over the course of both the Bluesky thread and my eventual discarding of said draft, I realized I'm just never gonna be able to write het omegaverse because of my own patriarchal hangups. hell. I live in the deep South of the US. shits too close to home.

so but then I was like "why tf do feral omegas get the knot cure, how about fuck you" and then I went and did all that. so yet again Hilson succeeds in excising the rot where other modes have failed.

every story teaches you something about yourself, and there are stories you can't write until you've learned certain things.

big props to everyone on Bluesky who puts up with my long ass threads about shit that probably isn't (always) that deep. and thank you, so so very fondly, dear reader, for loving the same way I do and enjoying what I make. and for your (hopeful) grace that I haven't really had a chance to let my ADHD meds kick in before answering this ask. lmfao ily 🤟

[lottiepumpkinofficial]

day 3

chap’s 6,7,8

are we ready?

i’m sat drinking literally the best hot chocolate i’ve ever had while reading today so i’ll probably be in a particularly good mood

i need someone who will hug me as enthusiastically as lola

i love lola, she’s so underrated

i kinda want a version of up from anis perspective like that new twilight book. i feel like it would be so interesting to dig into her psyche and what’s going on in her brain, bc we can assume some things once we find out about saskia, but there’s so many little details and things we never fully get to see

this is so random and i’m probably the only person who’d think of this but micky offers lottie a lollipop- presumably a stripy one- and lottie takes it. often lollipop colouring has carmine (bugs) in it, but lottie doesn’t seem fussed so do you think tompkins is entirely vegetarian?

“childhood friends” mmm sure

okay i know lottie not knowing what partizans are is meant to show how out of place she feels, but it kinda also shows that these kids are a little bit out of touch for assuming everyone knows what they are- i mean they’re specifically relevant to rich and important people, and i know at this point they’re all kids but dude it’s lottie’s first day and they’re assuming either everyone knows what they do or that lottie is also rich. maybe im overthinking this

if i could draw i would draw the three house mothers looking like goddesses (like the princesses in she ra style) next to professor croak as a baked bean

also i regularly forget his name because in my head he is straight up just called baked bean man

honestly baked bean man is such a vibe- stands there letting incredible women be incredible and then just smiles and leaves

once again binah is making sure lottie is up to date with info and doesn’t make her feel bad about it. i love all the binahs in the world

“i wonder if i’ll ever meet one” you already have dear lottie

“i know your secret” and boom, we have stepped fully into our story. i love that this comes right at the end of a chapter, particularly a chapter with a lot of just talking and descriptions because it’s like a mini slap in the face to remind you this is not just a story of a girl at a prestigious school

also once again, we have foreshadowing of lottie’s heritage- this time without even the person who wrote it truly knowing. also “the company of wolves” - lottie is in the company of ‘wolves’ without even knowing it at this point ahhh it’s just so clever when you look really deeply

of all the things to choose from the breakfast she grabs a piece of toast? not even a croissant or something that you can still eat on the go??

okay as much as i’m lottie, im also very ms kuma. actually i think connie must have secretly stalked me while writing the books /j

“‘Holy chocolate biscuit!’” best line

ugh maths class flashbacks i’m so glad i never have to do maths classes again

i wanna hear people’s theories about the red dragonfly and the frog. since red is conch- resolute-brave, maybe it’s suggesting lottie’s struggling to be brave

or maybe ani is the “delicate red dragonfly”, and this whole princess business is hurting her

also the dragonfly is on a lily pad, which we now know to be symbolic of lottie and her heritage

“the dragonfly is generally associated with the symbolic meaning of transformation” - googled

so change has come to lottie and it’s been eaten. i suppose on a simpler level it mostly symbolises her struggles with moving to rosewood

anyway, we’ve now got tension on a few levels and it’s starting to amp up a little- ellie has a surprise, there’s the “present”, lottie feels out of place and now people think she’s a princess. once you get to this point in the book you’re not putting it down, from here on out there’s a question for every answer and new threads to follow. we are the dragonfly, and connie glynn is the frog

[sweetearthandnorthernsky]

and i'm forced to deal with what i feel (forgive, morinel ft maglor)

morinel has. a lot of feelings about this actually (10 pages worth, actually). this whole situation is a goddamn mess help. also, your honor that is morinel's emotional support mithril thread spool and one day i will write a fic about how she Aquires it and Why it's her emotional support mithril thread spool.

Mithlond is somehow even emptier than Morinel remembers it being nearly a year ago, silent save for the song of the waves crashing against the shore.

She returns to the palace, standing in the deserted foyer, though she is too lost in thought to really realize who Elrond is talking to, tucked away in a corner.

She pays them no mind and goes to pass them so she can return to her room and start packing–

The hooded figure looks up – looks at her – and there is a moment of terrible realization that makes Morinel feel sick with conflicting feelings.

“Maglor.”  There’s ice in her voice, and she clenches her hands at her side so tightly that her fingernails dig crescents into her palm. 

Her uncle’s– Maglor’s eyes are foggy like sea-glass and there’s barely any Treelight left in them.  

“Isfin–”

“Don’t call me that,” Morinel snaps, sharp like iron, sharp like the crackle of lightning in her runes, or the sharp burn of her fire, sharper than she means. 

Elrond’s brows crinkle and she exhales, trying to calm herself – at least a little. 

“I haven’t gone by that name since…” Since before the War of Wrath, since before the breaking of Beleriand, since before everything changed, since before– 

“It doesn’t matter,” she says stiffly.

Morinel cannot help but glance to the stairway that leads to the hallway that leads to her room. For a few tantalizing seconds, she wonders if she could extricate herself from the conversation and make it up the stairs but–

“What ought I call you then?” There’s that faint bite of not-quite-sarcasm that she remembers all too well from Amon Ereb and Belegost and Taur-im-Duinath. 

“Morinel.”

Maglor says nothing at first but his brow quirks upward for a half-second, which she knows all too well for surprise (she'd disliked that name when she was little, after all) before it smoothly crosses into approval.

“It suits you.”

“Thank you.” 

(She nearly laughs at how bizarre this is – the two of them exchanging polite pleasantries as if they met by chance in the marketplace.)

The wind rustles outside, and raindrops splatter against the roof, and in the distance, lightning flashes. He pushes his hood away from his face and for a half-second, she sees his hand, burnt and blistered, and she wonders what could've made such a mark–

The Silmaril. 

So it did burn him.

(She remembers that night, after the Host of the West had wrested the Silmarilli from Morgoth’s crown, when they stole through the camp and cut down the guards, eyes burning like wild animals, not Eldar, blood on their sword even to the last–)

“I had thought you drowned in the wreck of Beleriand.” It’s with concentrated effort that she keeps her voice level and disinterested. “Were you here this whole time?”  

He nods and something twists within her like a coil that’s been wound far too tightly. 

She closes her eyes and bites her tongue and tries, for Elrond’s sake, to ground herself and keep from lashing out.   “Where?” 

Morinel’s pendant feels heavier than the entire weight of Arda at the moment and her cloak – meant to keep out the chill – feels like it’s made of lead. 

She hopes, desperately, that the answer isn't what she thinks it is.

He shrugs, palms upward, and the light catches on the angry-looking burn. “Here. East of Himring – mostly – as I always have been.” 

As if to emphasize his words, lightning strikes the sky and she can see the lonely island out in the distance.

Arinya flickers and shines in the candlelight and suddenly all she can see is hands dipped in silver and crowns of holly and she can only taste the burning char of stone that sticks in her throat and – 

“This whole time?”

His face twists with pain and his eyes are shadowed when he answers as lightning cracks in the distance. There is sorrow in his voice when he speaks. 

“If this is about Ty–”

Thunder rumbles. 

“Of course this is about Celebrimbor!”

Heat scalds her throat, as if she'd used one of her runes, and she takes a breath before she continues, focusing on the texture of the soft mithril thread between her fingers.  

“Do you know what Sauron did to him?” Her voice is dangerously low, and she knows that this is unfair, but she can’t be bothered caring. “He cast his hands in liquid silver, and made him into a banner, beaten and bloody and barely recognizable.”

Maglor winces and Elrond’s face twists into disapproval. 

She cannot stop now but, by all the Valar, she wants to, she does not want to have this outburst here, in front of Elrond, she does not want to have it at all, she does not want to be emotional when she is already stressed from travel, she does not want to be vulnerable. 

But it would be easier to stop the sun from shining, or to stop the ebbing of the tides, because the words are already bubbling up into her throat, and pouring from her mouth the way the Gelion flowed into the Helevorn.

“Where were you? Hiding on the coast when you could have helped.” Lightning cracks again, bright and throws the room into sharp relief. The words feel like they burn her, and Morinel exhales, and the ill-made pendant rises with her breathing. “We needed you too, you know, but you ran, like you always do.” 

She regrets the words the minute she says them.

Uneasy silence lies between them all, and she stops to listen – the rain has slowed, and the thunder stopped.

She takes advantage of the moment to flee, taking the stairs nearly two at a time, and shutting her door behind her.

Morinel tosses her sketchbook none too gently onto her well-worn chest of drawers, and locks the door behind her. 

She takes a seat at her desk and pushes The Coming Into Eldamar away, and pulls out her letterbox again, carefully paging through each one – half-heartedly, she knows she doesn’t have the heart to throw any of them away. 

When she’s done, she places it on her bed, and turns to her bookshelf.

Her thoughts spiral and twist as she works, mostly to the tune of that was uncalled for, even if you were angry or how are you going to fix that or dark hair isn’t the only thing you inherited from your father –

An hour goes by, and the anger has passed — or, more accurately: turned to a dull simmering — when someone knocks, softly, at her door when she is nearly through organizing her books.

Morinel freezes, then unfreezes to pick the last book off the shelf. More likely than not, it’s probably Elrond and she sighs.

She is not looking forward to her talking to, but it must be gotten over with sooner or later, mustn't it?

Morinel unlocks the door but waits until she’s back to the books before she calls over her shoulder: “It’s unlocked.”

The door creaks on its hinges. 

“May I?”

Blood drains from her face.

Not Elrond. 

“If you wish.” Morinel’s voice is icily polite. 

(She hides the strain very well, if she must say so herself.)

Contrary to his request, Maglor stays on the threshold and she spreads the books out on her bed and begins to sort them into piles: keep, unsure, and give away. 

Ainulindale: A Translation – illustrated by Lorindol of Gondolin – is placed into the Keep Forever pile, while A Treatise On Stone by Arelleth is placed in the Give Away pile – after all, why would she need a book to help with the planning of cities and great buildings when they must be a mirian a dozen in Aman?

Moments tick past.

Morinel cannot stand silence.

(She never has, and she never will be able to. Maglor knows this, and she knows Maglor knows this, and Maglor knows she knows he knows this.)

She exhales.

“Are you going to stand there or come in?” She still is not facing him as she sorts through her books, though in truth, she is barely even really looking at them. “This room gets cold, and I would like the door shut before I freeze, either way.”

There is the shuffle of fabric and the door creaks again. Then the floorboards creak too, as footsteps come closer – though they stop a few feet away from her.

Maglor is still not just yet in her peripheral.

“You were never so affected by the cold before,” Maglor’s voice holds a hint of something… she doesn’t quite know what it is. “That sounds like something that would affect those who crossed the Ice.” 

Morinel feels she’s allowed to be a little petty about the whole thing.

“Yes,” she says succinctly, stacking the books with a little more force than necessary, “But being in a coma due to the dark arts of Sauron for three thousand and twenty-five years causes many changes in one’s hröa, most of which I am still coming to terms with.” 

Her shoulder throbs as if agreeing with her as she watches her words land with a sort of sickening pleasure, and she hates herself for taking satisfaction in the way discomfort flickers across Maglor's face.

“I suppose so. I might've known."

Morinel laughs, but there is no humor in it, only bitterness. “How could you? You weren't here.”

She glances up then, to see how his lips purse into a thin line, like how it did in Belegost or Amon Ereb before telling her and the twins something he knew they wouldn’t like. 

Her eyes narrow, and her hands still.

“That is–” Maglor pauses, taking a step toward her. When he seems convinced that she isn’t going to commit violence to preserve her personal space, he continues, “– not entirely true.”

Morinel goes very, very still.

“What do you mean?” Her voice is low, and her hands have stilled, clutching the spine of one of her older books. 

“I was not as good at hiding as I thought,” he says, with a rueful shrug, and her fingernails dig crescents into her palm. “Elrond found me, not long after Tyelperinquar…”

His voice fades into a soft silence, and the sound of the waves shushing through the windows fills the room. 

At this moment, Morinel doesn't know whether she is more angry at Elrond, for keeping Maglor’s existence a secret from her — of all people! — or at Maglor, for staying away so long. 

But Maglor is not finished speaking. 

“After that… I was in Imladris,” he says, softly, so softly she almost can’t hear him, but she can, if only just barely, and that’s almost worse.  “Occasionally. And I was there when…” He pauses, no doubt trying to figure out how to phrase his next words diplomatically. “...you came back.”

Morinel blinks very slowly. 

The knot of emotions in her chest gets tangled even more, like when she was first learning embroidery and left herself too much thread.  Suddenly, she remembers first waking from the coma, the harp song in the background when she mumbled to Harthalín and—

“That was you, wasn’t it?” The words are accusing, even if the tone isn’t. 

He blinks.

“When I woke up,” she says, frowning. “You were the one at the harp, weren’t you?”

He bows his head – whether from shame or acknowledgement, she cannot tell.

“So–” Heat scalds at her throat again. “So…” She hates this, she hates stammering, she hates not being able to articulate her point. “Why? Why did it take you two ages?”

“The Silmarils burned us,” Maglor says, as if that were the only explanation needed. 

“Do you think that matters to me?” She snaps, finally able to look Maglor in the eyes, to see pain reflected there. “Maybe that line worked on… on the Morinel in your head– but–”  

She takes a deep breath and rises from her bed to pluck half-heartedly at her loom – carefully avoiding Maglor's eyes as she fidgets with her shuttle. 

“Oh, Morinel,” Maglor says, his voice soft and tired and despairing. “You didn’t want me around, not really. You say that now but you don’t understand.”

“Do not tell me how I felt then,” she says, more fiercely than she meant to. The spool of mithril thread grounds her as she reminds herself to breathe.

“I didn’t want people whispering about you,” Maglor says quietly, “Or Celebrimbor. I know they would have, if you had received visits from your kinslaying-uncle.”

She laughs despairingly, turning to face him again. 

“They already did whisper about us! A Fëanorian who works with thread –” and she lifts the basket full of spools as if to demonstrate her point, “– in weaving and embroidery both…” 

Morinel smiles bitterly then, tucking a braid out of her face. 

“You can imagine, I’m sure, the rumors that started and Celebrimbor always had it worse – as a smith, as the eldest of the two of us, for his resemblance to his father and to Grandfather.”

She takes a breath.

“We looked. I looked.” 

The words come out like she is carving them into marble, torturously slow but the tangle of knots in her chest unravels the tiniest bit. He makes a sound of surprise, and she smiles, though it comes out like a grimace. 

“Those first decades after the war were hard,” she says. “I had questions, and I’m sure he did too.”

She feels very young again, a child amidst the days of the War of Wrath. 

“I– We– thought you were dead.”  Then, so quiet, she’s not sure if he even hears: “And we thought that if you were not dead that you must have been angry with us.”

Silence again. 

Maglor isn’t looking at her this time, and she tightens her grip on the mithril spool in her hand for reassurance.

“I was—I was trying to protect you both.” 

The words sound as difficult to say as Morinel’s own admission. “I know how difficult it was to love Feanorians in those days.”

“Not as difficult as it was to be one.”  

(This time her response is easy, because it is true.)

They stand in an impasse, in silence. 

Finally, she manages to say what she’d been wondering (and fearing) the response to. “Why… Why did you show yourself to Elrond, and not us, then?”

A pause, and she watches the tossing waves in the harbor. 

“There was very little choice in the matter.”

Maglor’s lips quirk.

“It happened by chance. He saw the smoke of my campfire.” The words sting a little, and she knows that they should not. “And I think, part of it, is I was scared of your reactions.” He shrugs. “I was running.”

She winces as she takes a seat at her loom, and gestures for Maglor to sit at her desk. 

“I am sorry,” she says, after a long, long moment of anxiously passing her shuttle from hand to hand. “About what I said.”

Maglor gives her a crooked half-smile. 

“I deserved most of it, if it makes you feel better.”

She shakes her head and rises – almost as soon as she sits down, because she had never been one for sitting still – to start taking down the tapestry she’d finished on her last visit to Mithlond. 

“It doesn’t,” she says, digging through her basket before finding her favorite tapestry needle. 

With deft and skilled movement – she’s done this often enough it’s almost second nature – she weaves the loose threads at the top back into the weave.

“I hold myself to higher standards than that, and what I said was…” she pauses, frowning as she paused, looking for words. “Not kind. I am very sorry.”

She bends to do the same for the lower part of the frame before deciding to just sit cross-legged on the floor. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees that Maglor looks like he is going to say something, but decides otherwise at the last moment. 

She looks up to meet his eyes, halfway through the bottom half of the tapestry. “If you have something to say, I would prefer you say it, you know. I have been a little too honest, and it is only fair that you are offered the same.”

Another crooked smile. 

“I was only going to say that thinking before you spoke has never been your strong suit, but I was not sure if that would be too familiar of a thing to say after… everything.”

To Morinel’s surprise, she actually laughs as she goes back to weaving her loose ends back into the tapestry. 

“You aren’t wrong,” she says, shaking her head. “Though, I like to imagine that over the years as a councilor that I learned to be a little diplomatic. Clearly, I was too hopeful.”

She cuts through the looped warp threads holding the tapestry at the bottom and she stands to cut the loops at the top. 

The tapestry comes loose once she pulls it free, and she’d forgotten how heavy they could get as she staggers backward before she regains her balance, and drops it onto her bed. 

Morinel comes back to the loom and with the tapestry gone it looks forlornly empty – throughout the years she has always been working on something, though she could go months or years taking breaks from her current project. 

The only time she can truly remember it being empty was in the first few weeks after she’d commissioned it – those weeks were her trying to bring herself to actually use without feeling like she was tempting fate. 

This loom has been her companion throughout the ages and she knows its quirks and oddities better than any other she’d practiced on, and Cirdan had said, when she asked, that she could bring it with her if she wished. 

She’d been uncertain before, but her mind is made up now.

“Would you like some help, or would you prefer to handle it yourself?”

The request is made casually, making Morinel free to accept or decline, and she appreciates the choice.

“I think help would be nice,” she says softly, and her uncle rises to come stand by the loom.

Things may not be entirely mended between them yet, but they were getting there. 

[cruelsister-moved2]

do u have reading recs on the rituals of slaughter? i’m very interested

I actually don't think I do because I haven't read about this specifically I just keep noticing it as a thread in more general ethnographic readings over the years (and often like the author doesn't treat it as particularly consequential). I might have a dig and get back to you though because I would love to see what work has been done on it.

I have seen a lot of conversations on halal and especially kosher practises from an ecological perspective BUT I'm mostly interested in the like spiritual/social/psychological ramifications of actually killing an animal and how that is mitigated ritually, which i really haven't seen any work actually analyse that even if it relates examples of it happening. and relatedly the idea of hierarchy in relation to animals - which varies a lot, but the whole 'man is the master of the beasts who owes them nothing in return and should have no concern for their suffering' is a pretty western christian perspective.

i am really not a fan of comparative religion and other comparative study [too long to get into here but I think it's important to study cultures in their own right & recognise specifics & especially not try to rationally 'justify' cultural beliefs or force connections to some kind of 'universal human nature'] so i want to make the distinction here between that mode of study - I just think it's interesting that many individual cultures share some aspect of contrition for the killing of animals and various responses to that. relatedly i have noticed a bunch of animist beliefs (especially in hunter-gatherer societies who don't/didn't traditionally raise animals) make some kind of distinction between the killing of an animal's physical body for sustenance and the sense of domination or triumph over the animal's being. there are a lot of various formulations of this, but i always loved this ainu chant in which a fox's upper and lower jawbones have to be buried under the men's and women's toilet to stop the spirit of the fox from basically regenerating after the body is killed. beliefs in which certain parts can't be eaten and/or slaughter must be performed in certain ways are common and mostly defy any kind of 'logical' rationalisation (e.g hygiene). there's also an interesting resonance in the fact that kosher and halal dietary laws both specifically forbid the consumption of blood, because it's associated with some kind of 'life force'. i.e: you can consume this meat as is necessary for you to survive but you are not entitled to this creature's very existence. the torah as a whole is like extremely ambivalent towards animal slaughter; at once a sacred ritual and blessing, but also dangerously intoxicating and needs to be constrained. at points slaughter of animals is explicitly linked to slaughter of humans; the intitial permission to eat meat is sort of grudging (and a midrash suggests it's basically offered for noah and his family to take out their bloodlust rather than kill humans); the ideal state is still a world in which humans and animals don't prey on eachother. i think its all very buberian (you thought i wasnt going to bring martin buber into this) in that it's accepted as something which is not ideal but may be necessary for survival.

sorry that this is just anecdotes and not a reading list! i am going to scout the work looking at this in detail but i would have to read it first before i felt comfortable recommending it! when I finish work though I will reblog this post with all the readings i can remember where i encountered specific examples although none of them are specifically about animal slaughter, but some of them are more broadly about relationships with the natural world. im glad other people find it interesting anyway, i think it's a super rich topic!

[malachia-il-bibliotecario]

❤️‍🔥 some-cat Follow

my gf is such a bitch like "I'll love you forever" she said?? whyd you lie to me. girl we Literally had a pact

🍷 girlclodiipulchris Follow

I'm not your gf

❤️‍🔥 some-cat Follow

bitch stfu you literally sell yourself on the streets I hope your traitorous backstabbing ass dies form hay fever

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🍆 arte-regendus-amor Follow

im about to pull a number for the ages. check this out

🍆 arte-regendus-amor Follow

WE ALL SHOULD HAVE MORE NASTY SEX AND WE SHOULD GET WEIRDER WITH IT TOO. AND ALL THE "BUT THE MOS MAIORUM" BITCHES CAN SUCK MY DICK BECAUSE IDGAF AND YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER. UNTIL ME THERE WERE ONLY DUSTY HOES WITH STICKS UP THEIR ASSES SO ONLY LISYEN TO ME FOREVER AND FUCK THEIR SOULS AND I ALSO FUCKED AUGUSTUS' DAUGHTER AND HES NEVER GONNA FIND OUT

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see? not a mouse stirring. nothing to be heard from anyone. I can't be cancelled. I'm invulnerable. I'm unstoppable. you people adore me too much I could be saying the nastiest most off putting shit imaginable and you'd give 10 years of your mom's life for a thread from my toga. whores

📖 messssalla Follow

lmaoo op did he find out eventually?

📖 messssalla Follow

op????

96K notes

🐝 bees-are-cool Follow

so! It's taking me longer than I expected to finish up my wip since I'm having trouble researching specific things about farming which I really really need (been working on it for 8 years now). but I've been kind of rotating aeneas lately so as soon as I'm done with it I'm gonna start to actually try and flesh out something about him. although it's probably gonna take me another whole decade lol

🍸 maecaenaes Follow

little homo idk who you are but I really dig your vibe and I wish I could bring you home and put you on a shelf

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thank

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Rumors might have reached you about my alleged suicide. It very much is just gossip. I regrettably inform you that I am still alive and physically thriving

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⚔️ n-ius Follow

what the hell just happened

my whole blog is. not there anymore?? like completely wiped out????

what the fvck. @ staff @ staff @ staff please, please can you do something about it?

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I was tagged by @senekant! here's my Pinterest home board :))

🍃 senekant Follow

you're a literal freak

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🍆 arte-regendus-amor Follow

a poor wretch makes one (1) tiny insignificant error (1) like one mistake (1) and Շђєภ ђє ђคร Շ๏ Շคɭк ɭเкє Շђเร Ŧ๏г Շђє гєรՇ ๏Ŧ єՇєгภเՇץ

#guys I'm playing the jester and all #because that's what I do #but I seriously think this is Not gonna end well for me this time #theres literal arrows flying over the rooftops here

9,814 notes

[spookfished]

kades big media roundup (august)

hiii! like i said in my last post i spent a big portion of august being sick :| which involved spending like a Lot of the time sitting around playing pikmin 4, going "oh i think im thinking so hard about pikmin that its making me more tired?" and then playing more pikmin anyways. i 100%d this game guys it was so serious

books/comics/written media: paladins strength by ursula vernon: this is part of the saints of iron series, but i dont think context from the other books is really needed! romantasy/murder mystery about a nun and a paladin travelling together to the city by chance… they both have their own agendas but something draws them together 0///0 i found this really fun!! may have too much blood and guts for a pure romance fan but its very sort of pragmatic and down to earth in that ursula vernon way. nice dynamic between the leads, had a delightfully creepy (and sad!) antagonist and wrapped up threads from the previous book very nicely. would recommend 👍

in other words by jhumpa lahiri: semi autobiographical literary fiction about a (pulitzer winning) author who decides to move to italy and start writing exclusively in italian. (its translated!) hmmm as someone who also really loves languages but also doesnt really have the resources or desire to do something like. move to a different country (i mean maybe!) and only speak and write in that language from now on (probably not), it was a really interesting perspective. i was sort of put off by her attitude towards bengali but the whole "triangle of languages" theory makes sense… the writer is very straightforward and honest feeling in a way thats almost irritating sometimes but i think thats how a lot of artists are. and the concept alone is still very interesting.. lol anyways its a very short read so id still recommend 👍

the twisted ones by ursula vernon: horror. a woman is tasked with cleaning out her late hoarder grandmothers' house, located in rural north carolina. this was ursula vernons first horror book, i think! i was a little disappointed bc this wasnt very scary, exactly--but i feel like ive also been learning that even if i startle easily, my horror threshhold is actually very high……? i ended up liking what moves the dead more (it was scarier!) but this still had a fun cast of characters. still worth a read though :3 i enjoyed it

dungeon meshi by ryoko kui(catchup): manga about a group of adventurers looking for their lost friend. stuck in the dungeon for months on end, they resort to eating monsters! ohhhhh my god drags down myface dungeon meshi is literally one of the best manga out there and im glad everyone recognizes this. its about desire and need and the way unfulfilled desires is what propels our lives forward and gives them meaning and also how its SUPER IMPORTANT TO GET 3 NUTRITIOUS MEALS AND SLEEP 8 HOURS and all that. lol. phenomenal art i cant help but think that ryoko kui draws women as only a lesbian can..? highly recommend 👍

witch hat atelier by kamome shirahama(catchup): coming of age/fantasy manga--a girl discovers the secret behind the magic that powers her world. she's determined to use it to save her mother, but it may bring a heavy price--or maybe not at all…? like vita nostra (which i read last month!), this is also a book about learning magic that focuses heavily on pedagogy itself (which in this case is also a direct parallel to learning about art/drawing!). however, unlike vita nostra the characters are more like 10-11, and so it also takes a much more gentle and compassionate approach to how we should learn. but it also tackles some really interesting themes about restriction of information, and if said info should be restricted and why! and sort of digging deeper into the idea of "a secret hidden from the normal world". the art is soooo gorgeous i think its all done by hand? looks like a picture book can honestly get a bit overwhelming. highly recommend 👍

bloom into you: f/f manga about a girl who has never fallen in love, and a girl who never wants to be loved. bloom into you is one of those Yuri Classics that i enjoyed a lot as someone who has complicated feelings about romance :3 theres that really interesting quote thats like "love isnt about wanting someone to change or stay the same. when i say 'i love you,' its an expression of faith that even as you change, youll always be the person i adore"….. very interesting! also the sort of idea that you cant 'no true scotsman' love--you can just decide that you love someone, and then you do? kind of? anyways i thought it was pretty interesting :3

beastars: coming of age manga, set in a world kinda like zootopia but if someone thought about it way more. legosi, a large grey wolf struggles with distinguishing between his carnal desires and his, uh, carnivorous desires. ok EYE really liked it but also i think it handles a lot of themes really weirdly… maybe this is because legosi is just really fucking weird (this is definitely part of it) but in many ways beastars portrays the split between men and women as being even more uncrossable than the split between herbivores and carnivores.. which to me was surprising since the manga itself is written by a woman? definitely look up a TW list if youre planning on reading lol. it definitely has some of the best "what if animals lol" worldbuilding out there. i had louis/legosi/haru ot3 in my heart the whole way through LOL but i, uh, dont really think legosi and haru work as a couple just by themselves .. also the gaybait in here is crazy. i think past the midway or maybe 3/4 point it kinda starts to lose focus, but it still had a lot of compelling drama. yayyy louis beastars i think more theater kids should go through unbelievable self-inflicted pain

beast complex: anthology about the surrounding stories of the ppl of beastars. SO fun many people agree that the best part of beastars was the worldbuilding and this was basically all that. very fun :3

surviving romance: horror/adventure? chaerin wants nothing more than to live her fated fairy-tale life--so much so that people other than her love interest appear as nothing more than extras. one day ZOMBIES ATTACK!!!!11! very fun :33 maybe this is just me but is meta stuff getting more popular because of orv…? its not doing it as well ngl but still entertaining. chaerin trying to gain the trust of ppl that she originally didnt gaf about is fun

video games: pikmin 4: pikmin 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its a game about being 1 inch tall and controlling your hordes of small creatures (pikmin) to gather things like fruits. i think i bought this when i was sick because i saw a post that was like "pikmin cured my executive function" lol everyone who plays pikmin doesnt fucking shut up about what an indie gem it is but theyre kinda right………pikmin is really good…. its all about finding beauty and joy in the small intricacies of this wide world……i know some people were annoyed by the story parts but i thought it was cute idk :] and oatchi was there . recommend if you like games like starcraft or if you like watching ants carry around a giant caterpillar

movies: farewell my concubine: coming of age/literary/tragedy/historical/??? its a wong kar wai movie. dieyi has nothing in his life but the stage, where he plays as the faithful concubine to a doomed king. his life offstage is much more fraught. i would dearly love to read any articles or things about this movie so if you got anything come find me? ALSO if you have the forbidden cancelled broadway adaption script please let me know. im so curious. ok so its a wong kar wai movie so everyone knows its crazy good already. did watch it when i was sick so not super coherent ideas about it but its like omggggg dieyiii hes so doomed. the way it integrated with history was also interesting (i kinda cant believe someone made a rakugo-based adaptaiton of this. bro it doesnt WORK like that) its really interesting that like dieyis single point of friction between himself and consort yu is his gender.. but that constant emasculation is also what allows him to be so unique in theater and have a special bond w xiaolou.. man well it really was a movie. i want to see it again in a couple months maybe..? its about performance and gender and Performance of Gender and sexuality and cyclical violence and art during a time of strife and art as apolitical and also art as very political. and also a lot of other stuff. very awesome

we are the tigers: thriller musical about a terrible group of cheerleaders coming together for the first meeting of the year. and bad shit happens!!! omg i love girls who kill. and girls who kill each other i dont think this was particularly deep or anything but i enjoyed it :3

nope: horror movie about oj and em, two siblings struggling to keep their stunt horse business running after their father dies. ok well like above its a jordan peele movie so of course its very good. scary as well! i loved the themes… i went back to when ppl were talkingabout the movie to see what people said! ngl i kinda thought jupe was going to have a bigger part in the movie but he was cool as he was. idk it was just very enjoyable and had a lot of things to think about. the idea of spectacle and like.. tragedy-voyeurism are something thats really important to examine closely in times like these i think?

when harry met sally: ROMCOM YAYY about a man and a woman meeting each other across multiple periods of their life. literally one of the only romcoms i can remember my dad openly admit to liking it really deserves the hype. its so heartfelt and sweet and genuinely funny and the character development is so good. its like gay people for straight people

how to lose a man in 10 days: romcom about a guy who thinks he can make any girl fall in love vs a girl who is trying to give the worst dating experience possible. um well it was ok? i only really felt the chemistry between the main leads in a couple of scenes (like when she visits his home) it wasnt really funny or romantic enough..? especially given that most of the humor was predicated on LOL LOOK HOW SHITTY AND CONTROLLING GFS CAN BE which is like ok fine. whatever. idk it was ok

annihilation: horror about a group of scientists who go into a unsettling area to see whats wrong with it.. um well i read the book first and i had heard that this was a pretty good adaptation ? a la howls moving castle book vs movie. i thought it was pretty good? but WAY more focused on the horror stuff than the book, and also (bc its a movie) not really able to focus on the characters interiorities as much..? and also like the way the characters slowly lose it in weird ways and their dynamic frays was one of the cooler parts of annihilation (book) to me. i think at the time having queer characters and characters of color and a cast comprised almost entirely of women was a pretty big deal though i think i heard a lot about it on tumblr lol. its hard not to nitpick on lots of details but i thought it was pretty good overall! a lot of the differences that i didnt like that much made sense as a migration from book->movie--like for example if theyd made the mc as cold and unfeeling it would have been harder to have her be a sympathetic movie protagonist. i thought the infidelity plot w the professor was kind of a timewaster though . anyways still recommend 👍

blue beetle: action movie about a guy whos blue and a beetle. i liked this a surprising amount but i also saw it with friends. the first half of the movie is kinda better than the first also being a tokusatsu fan makes me go "wow this would be so much better if it was with suit actors" lol but the first half of the movie was sooo fun i think also had a really good depiction of a genttrifying city which i enjoyed

oppenheimer: historical drama about that one guy. copy pasting my thoughts from discord: even my dad who liked the movie more was like wow… this movie was kinda too long idk i think it was like technically cool in terms of like imagery and sound and actgin and stuff. but i like wasnt really moved LOL. christopher nolan is playing a little game where i have to recognize as many white men in sequence as possible and im going to be real i can manage maybe like 3? also the whole outer shell plot with strauss and misha collins (EDIT: it was not misha collins) who literally unironically said "youre the god of shadows now" (????) was like. um well this is really intricate but also i dont really care…? like am i supposed to have a stake in this…..? and sort of the intertwining of that story combined w the creation of the atomic bomb was like kinda so-so (my inability to tell faces didnt help w this) it was fine but not really my kind of movie. omg i did like the part with like all the thundering applause and stuff but it blows up there was this part where they kept on being like omg the X incident. all this stuff happened with X and i was like wow what is it….. turns out it was literally referring to a recurring character that i neither remembered nor could recognize. sad

us: horror movie about doubles. YESSS SO FUCKING SCARY i watched this on the airplane to school and the old lady sitting next to me had to watch me hyperventilating and clutching my chest and the whole nine yards. definitely the scariest jordan peele movie. man and the twist at the end was so freaking good. i think its the scariest because the danger is so there, and so immediate, but the beginning part of the movie actually succeeded (for me?) in getting you to be invested in the characters as well. i was wondering if maybe the doubles were also supposed to be connected to like ideas of caricature about black people..? it leaves just enough unanswered that youre still scared. and the questions that do get answered leave you with………THE HORRIFYING TRUTH!! god what a good movie

moonlight: coming of age about a boy who struggles with being black and gay during the crack epidemic of the 80s/90s. < sorry if this isnt a good summary i remember this was a pretty important film when it came out.. i watched part of it a couple years ago and then just remembered to finish this month. its a good movie… you kinda just sit with it yk. hm i (obviously?) dont have a lot of experience with black masculinity but i thought it was interesting how vulnerability can be like taken away from you or you can withhold it from yourself..and that can feel or even be really powerful! but its also like never too late to do that until youre dead. waves my hands around

thanks if you got to the end of this :3 stg ive had like 5 books on loan that ive had on loan for several months by now? idk if ill be able to get to them now (its the beginning of the school year..) but hopefully. i will do that soon. me n neil are sort of planning to get into "film bro movies" were watching the shining soon im very excited. see you later!

[flustered-fish]

Have a little obsession i need to get off my chest...

Homer Steinweiss (session drummer)

dudes been at the heart of the new york soul revival scene since 2002 and I barely even noticed until i happened to see a familiar face gracing Holy Hive's music videos, and tracking my deja vu to Freddie Gibbs NPR tiny desk session then following with that revalation trekked deeper into his discography. Which is in short.... quite fucked (but we'll get into that later)

what really grabs me now that I've listened closer to his playing is that his mission statement seems to be nothing too flashy, everything funky. dude has more in common with Clyde Stubblefield then more technical modern dummers like Chris "daddy" Dave or Luke Titus. but honestly his shit is so rhythmically tight and serving of the tune that everything he touches becomes 80% more enjoyable seriously listen to this shit...

this is just the shit I already loved before finding out he was the common thread minus amy who even though i really dig, I hadnt gone too deep on for various reasons (person real life stuff that happened to me that my brain replays everytime i think of her) but speaking of amy every live video i found of hers that didnt have Homer was either over the top of just not sitting as well as this performance right here (ofcourse that a whole band problem not just a drums thing but thats a whole other rant). this guys a living legend im giving him his flowers now.

P.S.

Also listen to his work with El Michel Affair, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, Lee Fields and the Expressions, The Olympians, The Arcs, Aloe Blacc... actually find his wikipedia yourself and get digging, Enjoy.

[razette]

I sort of want to write Yet Another Fantasy Detective(tm) type story, but there isnt actually room for it the way I imagine it in the (hopefully) better canon Im already building.

Largely I just dont care for "everything is the same but there is a secret paranormal society no one knows about" type stories. I get it. its hand waving for the sake of the story. thats fine! i just get caught up on the hypothetical, and it doesnt work! the more modern the setting the more it doesnt work for me, becoming a detail that undermines an otherwise good story. And the more the story wants to lean into fantasy later the thinner the thread suspending my disbelief. im pedantic is all.

Also I just find cop centered stories mildly annoying. at least it is if the work isnt put in to make them say something interesting. some do. plenty dont. im not saying we can all be terry pratchet, but he did take the time to dig into the stuff that would make Vimes' story meaningful. i do prefer that even if i still read a lot of stories that just wanna story without faffing around with all that.

frankly im not sure i have anything interesting to say either! i think anything i write will speak volumes more about just me personally than i could possibly try to weave into some sort of social commentary. that shit is tough!

i really just wanna write about a guy who is a detective doing typical fantasy detective stuff, but he isnt a cop because the paranormal reality isnt organized like that.He isnt paranormal law enforcement because theres no paranormal government passing paranormal laws up on paranormal capitol hill passing paranormal laws that need enforced en masse.

So really, he is just some guy breaking and entering various places at his own risk because someone got murdered or something. he has his own sense of justice to drive him, but his employers have their own interests that just happen to be served by the work hes doing.

He's got connections with human cops because its convenient for his employers if humans dont get in the way of their guy. every other danger he encounters is... mostly on him to sort out for himself. if he dies theyll just find another guy. w/e

The whole thing starts off, as they sometimes do, with the not-involved straight man (the comedy kind, not the het kind) becoming the new partner. The ex partner isnt dead, int his case, but he does spend a lot of time using his silver tongue to try to fuck the detective over. with extra emphasis on fucking because this is a queer story. idk

I like to think the other canon is better because I like the setting more. but it is all together a different sort of story. the more I think about this one the more I talk myself into it.

[thehandwixard]

FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ok so let me catch yall up:

finished traverse town, got through wonderland, beat cerberus, at the start of deep jungle. we caught up? also my bestie has started streaming the game so im getting double exposure

gameplay thoughts right now: path of the mystic is actually pretty fun if youre doing anything that isnt aerial combos, which is most combos if anything flying is involved but thats ok. ripple wave is very rewarding to land and clears out a lot of goons around you. of course, choosing path of the mystic limits the amount of cool, actiony abilities i have, and this early on in the game you cant equip all the abilities you want for your combos, but it like. works. sora's bread and butter combo is rewarding to pull off, though its difficult to avoid getting hit out of it. i wish it was a little easier to stack finishers, but thats not really a thing.

its very difficult to manage items, though, for me at least. you have a lot of control over donald and goofy's ai in kh1, but that still doesnt mean you control their actions, so you have to be careful about the items you give them. sora donald and goofy are all also just kind of weak and inflexible at this point in the game, and theres not a quick way to get a lot of items. that said, i dont think thats BAD for this early in the game, just can make things tedious.

anyways to get into story stuff: a lot has happened in a short amount of time, and not a lot has happened in a long amount of time. wonderland is just kind of for getting your bearings, and the grinding pads it out, but it sticks out to me just how dire the cheshire cat is allowed to be. he and alice are by far the shining stars of the world, and for alice thats mostly because she's really the first.. like. princess sora is tasked with rescuing, and he is made unable to. wonderland also has our first segment of "donald and goofy dont believe theyre allowed to meddle in world affairs, but sora sees someone needs help so he does so anyways" which is fun. idk HOW recurring that is, but i think its important. esp with the like... nuance that at least donald and goofy are upset that they feel like they cant help. like they want to.

as he should, the cheshire cat comes off as a force that knows far more than anyone else can comprehend, and is easily the most lively and real character in the world. my friend singled out "if you want to find the shadows, try turning on the light" as a parallel to dive to the heart's "the brighter your light, the darker the shadow" yknow. common wordplay and shit but its still interesting. hes also the one who teaches you blizzard magic.

not much to say about olympus coliseum really? phil is ok. teaches you thunder. the hades bits ARE very funny in a specific sort of way, much has been said in the past about his VA kind of phoning it in, and that combined with the... strong Attempt. at animating him makes the whole thing really uncanny. however the part before you leave the world and have the option to talk to cloud is realllly digging at me in a good way.

i really don't know much about cloud except some like... slightly advanced basics such as his backstory, general shit hes doing, and like.his mental state at most times, which gives him and sora a really interesting instant connection

sora speaks with a genuine gravity to cloud, and it really comes across like he went out of his way to go back and talk to him, to ask if he was ok. we know that cloud is searching for sephiroth, which makes him indirectly implying sephiroth is his light... Loaded

hes really cute in this game. uhh sora's meeting with cloud also is a major part of my hashtag truth that sora kind of figured out he was into guys through the journey and meeting all sorts of cool and hot dudes and in general making connections with queer people. learning whats out there.

deep jungle is The Real Shit though.

in many ways its where the main emotional plot picks back up again and some additional threads are pulled on. sora is in a place reminiscent of his home, one that donald didnt want to go to and called 'backwater' and he crashed them onto it looking for riku and kairi. its high tier donald jackass moments to the point where when sora was explaining to tarzan hey im trying to find my friends goofy and donald, he corrects himself, and goes back to kairi and riku. and thats not a dick move from him, cause donald is being an asshole! and also now sora is hallucinating kairi without a good prompt (imagining kairi waking him up in the place of yuffie) so hes doing normal.

sora's a normal boy with many outlets to express his emotions

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hey yk theres a group chat on instagram that mattys in and yk yesterday he talked again in it and theres a screenshot of him saying hes gonna eat ass on stage and a couple of people issued it bc apparently there are a few 17yo in the group chat (one of them posted it i think) and its obviously a joke and the person who posted it said that most people are adults and it was a direct respons to an adults comment and its not anything weird or sexual and it didnt last more than 30 seconds and most people werent even awake for the conversation but i see a couple of older adults thinking its inappropriate and im not sure that its because im not as old but i don't think its a really big thing but i would love to hear your opinion about it

So, I have to say that I’ve been avoiding Twitter the last couple of days cuz my mental health is hanging on by a thread. So I haven’t seen the screenshots myself, but going off of what you’ve said here:

I think it’s dicey. Like, on the one hand, matty says shit all the time. Like, if this minor is someone who is familiar with “cumming to her lookalikes” and “bust into her hand” and “the type you just don’t fuck” or hell…matty saying that his tendency to reach for porn is entangled with his addiction….then this kid has heard all kinds of inappropriate things that maybe too much for their age. This comment wouldn’t be any different.

I’ve seen him doge potentially inappropriate conversations in group chats before. Like he’d reply to bluntly sexual comments and stuff either by simply liking them or only writing “haha” or like when someone was being extra flirty and shit with him then was like “follow me back” he replied with “but you’re the worst one” so he knows to tow the line really well. Idk if he like clicked on this persons profile and checked before replying to them or not. He probably just treated it the way that he would speak onstage. And he does say shit onstage.

But I have a sister. Who likes to remind me that she’s entered her 20s now. But in my mind she’s always gonna be 12 years old. And if I heated that some rockstar was talking about eating ass in her dms I would find that mf. I may not be that great at taking care of myself. But for my sisters??? You best believe I’m gonna fuck shit up. So, like, I get older peoples mentality. But matty has never been the sort of guy who will adjust the way he’s speaking for anyone. That’s who he is. And if he were worried about being taken out of context then he wouldn’t say half the shit that he does. I think he genuinely lives by the whole “I don’t have anything to hide cuz I’m not actually a bad person.” Like if anyone got suspicious of this kind of comment and went to dig deeper, he’s not Colleen Ballinger. Nothings gonna come up. So at worst Twitter hunts him for it for a while until he does the next “cancelable” thing.

He’s a lot of things but he’s not a sleaze. I think he tends to operate in good faith when it comes to fans. Cuz he knows we understand him. Which is what makes our connection with him so special.

[channoticedmeuwu]

p : soobin × fem!reader | g : fluffy fluff, mutual pining-ish (it's more focussed on soobin's perspective), idiots-to-lovers!au, high school!au | w : none actually except soobin being like really shy

a/n : GRRR this is lowkey highkey cringe but I am crying for soobin content ok I'm sorry if this gives u second hand embarrassment IM SCARED

inspired by wishlist by txt 💌

— [07 : 54 HRS] "hey, y/n!"

y/n looked up from her doodling to soobin, settling down on the empty chair in front of her, scratching the back of his head with a sheepish smile on his soft face.

"well," he coughed out, adjusting his tie, "it's your birthday, right?"

"yeah," y/n smiled, placing her pencil down, "it is, how'd you remember, soobin?"

he smiled, making his dimples show. He bit down on his lips as he readjusted himself in the seat, "well, I heard you talking about it to wendy about a few days ago..."

"I mean!" he interrupted himself, shaking his hands hastily, "not that I was intentionally eavesdropping, you know!"

soobin, you idiot! he twisted his toes in his shoes as he watched her smile a bit at his sudden burst, through his heart shaped lense of vision.

"Since it's your birthday," he continued, trying to shake the floating pink hearts bubbling around her face, "I put together a little present for you."

"oh, soobin, you didn't have to!"

"it's nothing, really," soobin dug his fingers in his pocket, searching for something. His fingers looked through his empty pockets, feeling nothing but balls of threat stuck in there from friction. "wait, it's probably in here..."

he still kept looking, looking down at the floor, in his jacket pockets, anywhere really. But, to his disappointment, nothing but balls of thread.

then, the memory replayed in his mind.

"I think..." he winced, mentally slapping himself and trying not to turn red in the face from the sheer amount of embarrassment he was digging for himself. "I think I left it on my desk back at home."

"it's okay, soobin," y/n only smiled, heart fluttering at the thought that he even considered something like this, "I really don't mind."

the bell sounded in the halls, and the other students in the classroom stood, grabbing their textbooks to hurry off to the first class of the morning. y/n and soobin did the same, both still turning red from different reasons.

soobin bit his lips as he dug his hands in his pockets, chuckling nervously.

"it's okay, soobin!" y/n kept reassuring, grabbing her textbooks from her bag, "let's just walk to class together."

"yeah," a lightbulb went off in his head, and he inched closer to his desk and grabbed a whole pad of post-its. "you go ahead!" he tried to keep his voice from cracking, "I'll— I'll be right with you in a sec!"

when he was sure she left, he went scuttling towards her desk, uncapping a pen from his mouth and scribbled something on it before sticking it to her desk.

"choi soobin," he muttered to himself through the muffled pen cap as he tried keeping his writing small and readable, "you messed up once, you can't mess up this time."

throwing the pen and the post-its away in his bag, he grabbed a book and ran down the halls, his sneakers screeching and squeaking, only to find y/n standing by the staircase.

"what were you up to?" she smiled as they hopped down the stairs, pace slow and steady.

"oh, just looking for my textbooks."

she looked down and laughed, pointing at the textbook in his hand, "maybe you were in too much of a hurry, soobin, we have chemistry, not geography."

"what?" he looked down to a big, old, boring sketch of a map staring right back at him, the symbols and markings on the map making a little face of disappointment, as if to say ‘really, dude?’

"oh, shoot!" there he went, sprinting up the halls again, running towards the classroom, "I'll be right back!"

before he left the classroom with the now replaced chemistry textbook, he glanced towards at the little baby pink post-it sticking to her desk, his little glitter writing shining as the early morning sunlight hit her desk. he jogged out before he could tear it off in second thoughts, wondering if he phrased his words correctly or not.

I'm sorry I forgot your birthday present, you can take my confession instead. I like you.

—♡

It probably didn't matter, anyway, y/n loved glitter pens.

main taglist (hmu to get added!) : @koishua @navyhyuck @allegxdly @daystiny  @yunntext  @neotism  @bluejaem  @radiorenjun  @sleepylixie @oifelixcmerebrou  @coffeevddict @mrkcore @imdamnconfused  @sicluvz @hyuckefi  @jenoly-simp  @cafe-jeno @abhirami20 @tyongishs @emvrd @brxght-world @chaoticdreaminisode

I’d appreciate if you’d give me a little feedback on the drabble if you read, whether it’s an ask, a reply or in the tags of the rb! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

[ncssian]

“Dress” for the elucien drabble

(If you’ve gotten a lot of these you don’t have to do mine!)

im going to set these in the same world as A Favor so readers can consider them peeks into elucien’s relationship before they broke up. these can also be read as standalones so you don’t need to have read AF to understand them!

***

It’s not so much that Lucien invites his girlfriend to the Vanserras’ annual Christmas party but that Elain invites herself. She loves all the things he despises: old rich white people, stuffy formal gatherings, and opportunities to dress up. So when the gilded invitation from the Vanserra manor reaches Lucien’s doorstep, Elain is the first to insist they both go.

Nevermind that Lucien can’t stand to be in the same room as his father and older brothers without feeling nauseated.

Meanwhile, Elain is having the time of her life. Lush green silk drapes over her pale skin and clings to each of her slight curves, and every single person in the room is aware of it—of her. No one has yet to compliment her or her gown out loud, but Lucien has been with Elain long enough to know why: when you’re easily the prettiest person in the room, most people find it redundant to compliment you.

She reminds him of Demeter covered in ivy, or Aphrodite wearing nothing but her shell. So when he accidentally steps on the train of her gown and hears the unmistakable sound of fabric tearing, it seems like the entire hall falls silent.

Elain gasps, twisting around to find a new slit trailing up the back of her legs. Her eyes move from the rip in her dress to Lucien in horror, and beneath the horror, growing rage.

Lucien is quick to set his champagne glass aside, hurrying to cover Elain’s backside and to usher her out of the room. He hears low muttering rise from the nearby guests as he tries to do damage control, grabbing Elain by the waist and nearly shoving her into the abandoned hallway.

“I’m going to kill you,” Elain hisses to him once they’re out of sight from the rest of the party. “And then I’m going to kill myself out of humiliation.”

“Sure thing, dove,” Lucien answers. He tugs her into a guest half-bathroom and locks the door behind them. Taking Elain’s clutch out of her hand, he digs around for the mini sewing kit he knows she carries everywhere.

Finding the kit and some safety pins, Lucien drops to one knee before Elain and flashes her a quick grin. “See? Easy fix.”

Elain gapes in disbelief as Lucien turns her around so the back of her dress faces him. “You’re not actually trying to stitch together a foot long tear. The thread doesn’t even match! Do you even know how to use a needle?”

“Is having breakdowns at the slightest inconvenience another cute quirk of yours I haven’t discovered yet?” Lucien says in a flat tone that implies Shut the fuck up. He unravels a length of black thread and bites it off with his teeth.

Elain falls quiet to watch him pull the thread through a needle. Or maybe she’s just watching his mouth as he holds two safety pins between his lips.

The thought amuses Lucien but he doesn’t show it. He hones in on the tear in Elain’s dress, using skilled hands and a sharp focus to mend the fabric as best as he can.

Elain keeps staring at him over her shoulder as he works. “Where did you learn this?” she asks once a good few inches have been stitched back together. It’s a big tear though, and keeping the whole thing unnoticeable will be difficult.

Running out of thread, Lucien ties off the final stitch and takes a pin from his mouth instead. In answer to Elain’s question, he smirks and nods at the hundred thousand dollar bathroom they’re standing in. “I grew up like this.” His education accounts for shit tons of seemingly useless knowledge—the very opposite of Elain, who rarely speaks of her past but once used the words “trailer trash” to describe it.

As Lucien handily pins together the rest of the slit (really, why is her dress fabric so thin in December of all months?), Elain sighs quietly to herself. “You were supposed to rip the dress off at the end of the night, you fool.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Lucien hums to her. “I still can.”