#im actually not very normal about this anymore

[beckiboos]

*Right Taliesin, it's now or never*

Taliesin- Can't sleep? Or are we enjoying the view?

Calliope- Hmm..? No. Not really, too cloudy tonight. I thought I should come out here and keep watch, I've been struggling getting to sleep since... well. You know

Taliesin- Yes.. I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Can we talk? Umm.. Away from the cliff ledge? Watching you there is making me very nervous

Calliope- Ok... not like there's anything to see out here anyway

Calliope- So

Taliesin- So

...

Calliope- I'm so sorry about Rulindil. I don't know if he was a friend of yours or something more... but I am sorry I hurt you by killing him

Taliesin- Don't be. We lovers when I first came to Skyrim 3 years ago but he neither a friend nor was their great affection between us. He was quite the sadistic bastard really and the world is better off without him

Calliope- But? You've been so-

Taliesin- Rulindil... Rulindil was a high ranking Thalmor agent, my superior officer. The altmer are not incredibly romantic or affectionate people as you probably guessed. We still have needs though and most of us have some kind of arrangement with our colleagues to keep us entertained. He and I had such an arrangement for a brief time. He had picked me out nearly as soon as I left the dock to seduce. I'm not picky and spent the night with him. He bores of his bedfellows quickly however and when the boat came in with fresh recruits he moved onto his next toy and I moved onto other arrangements.

It was a while before I learned the true extent of his role with the Thalmor. He speciality was 'acquiring information' by any means necessary. He took a great deal of pride and pleasure in his work. At the time I deemed his actions an necessary evil and I certainly didn't envy him his job. But I never liked his methods. I don't have a taste for torture and luckily he preferred brute force rather than magic to get the job done so I didn't have to work with him much. I didn't take part but I knew what was going on. We all did. Just tried to ignore the screaming the best we could

Calliope- That's not your fault Tally-

Taliesin- No, but I was a part of it. Calliope you got caught. You PROMISED me. I wasn't there and you were caught. Do you know what would have happened to you if hadn't of killed Rulindil? Because I do. You've seen the scars on Kaidan's back. Trust me those soldiers had NOTHING on Rulindil. He would have tortured you until you were barely recognisable and only stop once you had told him every single thing he wanted to know 3 times over, all the while begging for death. What's more the last thing you would have seen would have been MY people. MY former colleagues, MY former lover taunting and beating you, if you were lucky, before your corpse would have been tossed into a cave for a trolls dinner

Taliesin- Calliope when you told me about Rulindil I wasn't just upset for him. I was shocked by it of course it was someone I knew someone I- regardless I was suddenly faced with the fact that I could have lost you. By the very people and ideals I used to follow and respect. These past few months... You have become quite a dear... friend to me. I guess I didn't know how much I cared until that moment. I don't get close to many people Calliope, me and you, this little gang, we have become closer than I ever was with anyone at the Thalmor... and yet I still care about what happened to Rulindil. I didn't handle the situation well. For what it's worth, I am sorry for snapping at you in Solitude. Forgive this grumpy old altmer?

Calliope- *chuckles* Forgiven but only if you forgive me too. I'm sorry for solitude too I may have gone a TEENY, tiny bit over the top there

Taliesin- A tiny bit?

Calliope- Ok a bit more than tiny. Friends?

Taliesin- ...Friends

Calliope- Good. I'm glad we're sorted this out Tally. I didn't like bickering with you. I missed this. Us

Taliesin- I missed us too

end of part 1. Look this post is already waaaaay too long. But I wanted to make some headcannons about Rulindil (sorry @dynamite124if you have anything planned for him) and why Tally was so upset and they really needed this talk. AND NO KISS. Sorry I take my slow burns very seriously

[deliriuxe]

...Yeah, I'd whore myself up for him like this. Next question.

[sesamenom]

maglor's first time getting to go to a concert / his favorite singer attending maglor's first big concert

[suffercerebral]

me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects

[healingheartdogs]

Cardio said my echocardiogram ultrasound, exercise stress test, and week long heart monitor all showed no serious issues, my resting heart rate is fine, but that my heart rate does seem to rise very rapidly under even small amounts of stress (postural changes, taking stairs, casually walking around my house) and rises very high (160+ bpm according to the monitor) so now I get to be put on beta blockers to see if they work and if they do she said that is sufficient evidence to confirm for sure that it's POTS.

Obviously could confirm it as well with a tilt table test but those are TORTURE based off what I've heard from fellow POTSies so I am very thankful that she doesn't think that's necessary and will not be making me do one.

[electoons]

my psychiatrist was trying to explain that a lot of my depression and anxiety probably stems from my trying to force myself into a (neurotypical/allistic) mold that i wasn't made for and that it's nothing to be ashamed of and she listed elon musk and bill gates as my fellow autists and that made me cry harder

[li-esonthefloor]

come closer

i am a normal fan and can be trusted with jade curtiss and luke fon fabre

[ozfi]

kenzaki has this wrap-around spade ring the entire series, along with other accessories (ep 13)

but hajime doesnt wear accessories like the other three (ep 18)

except (ep 38)

after kenzaki gives him his heart back (ep 39)

[pilmyeol]

JUST REMEMBERED THE FIRST TIME I EVER GOT DUMPED. CRYING…

[orbdotexe]

Something I adore when it happens is someone finding someo NPC without anything really standing out... and then writing a fic about it/ deciding "oh just a littol guy". It gives me so much life

[vanweezer]

me: shit why cant i tell people close to me that i love them when i havent been smoking

my brain: you dont trust yourself or anyone to say what they actually mean and also *** **** ***** *** *** **** ***** *** *********** ** **** *** ***** **** **, ***** ** * **** ***** *** ***** *** ********* ***** ** *** and when you smoke you typically only say it in a joking context so youre not worried about people taking you seriously anyway

me: ok real and true, pass that shit over here

[frobby]

i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.

[lagtrain]

THEY ARE STUNNING THEY ARE EVERYTHING THEY ARE THE FUCKING MOMENT

[ruedesfillesducalvaire]

sorry I'm having Post-Seine feelings about these lyrics and idk if anyone else is deranged enough to care but i'm gonna translate for you just in case:

Despite the old bitterness And loves that pass Friends we lose in the fog And ideals that are broken Life clings on and is reborn Like each spring returns In a breath of fresh air That soothes hearts in pain So if it happens that tonight you'd like to stay With me, the night is soft, we can walk And even if we know that everything only lasts a little while I'd like you to be, for a moment, My falling star

notes:

'amertumes' is actually plural, so, 'bitternesses', but that's not a word in English, so....

'la nuit est douce' means 'the night is mild', but the word 'douce' literally means 'soft', and I love that

'mon étoile filante' means 'shooting star' or 'falling star'; I guess 'shooting star' is more common, but 'be my shooting star' in English sounds a bit ridiculous. 'Étoile filante' is so good, shame it doesn't translate the best.

[barkingangelbaby]

venting so much i ran out of tags lmao

[our-lady-of-mcr]

everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn