#im actually not bothered to draw anything

[mersei47]

I've been thinking about this self indulgent hank x player story for a while now and I really wanna share it because I love player and like the thought of them and hank met each others. This is gonna be long (and possibly broken grammars) but I will do my best at explaining it. the story is below

in one loop player started their own personal investigation to find out who this hank is out of curiousity. When both of them finally met, hank found player to be interesting and curious as to why player is so good at fighting (player didn't tell hank about the loop yet because they think nobody would believe them). Hank then decided to join player's team as a temporary hireling but he told them he didn't want any payment, he only joined them because he bored and wanted some entertainment.

as time go on hank and player started to get close. Hank realized that player is unlike the others and was fun to be around with. When it was time for player to enmesh the mandatus hank just went "you going to kill god? like an actual god? that's my shit count me in too". Player tried to tell hank that he can't go there because they have no idea what will happen to him if he did and this scenario had never happen before but hank was stubborn as fuck so player just let him.

when player and hank met gambler, gambler was confused at hank's presense and said how this event was not supposed to happen (hank found gambler annoying and commented on how he liked to use ambigious and fancy words to make himself looks mystery). Gambler tried to prevent hank from going any further but player told him that it was fine just let him do whatever he wanted because honestly they secretly wondering too what will happen.

After both of them finished taking down the machine, they got warped back to nevada and standing at the edge of the nowhere. player told hank that this is gonna be the last time hank see them but they are happy that in this loop they didn't face the machine alone and glad to see other side of hank that's not only violent part. Hank didn't think too hard about what player said but he really let himself get attached to them and suddenly feel....disappointed? regret? he didn't say it out loud and didn't know what to say so he just watched player walked into the nowhere until he couldn't see them anymore.

After player went vanished everyone at annex building went into chaos for a few days but soon managed back to normal by 2bdamned. Hank already knew that doc must knew about the whole mandatus thing with player so he went up to doc and asked him if player will ever coming back and doc said no. Hank didn't bother asking more from doc because he knew that doc already made up his mind about this but he couldn't help being frustrated himself. He also regret not really say anything to player back then. (he realized his feeling too late)

but after all those events, the machine will view hank as a bug/defective to the system because player is supposed to be the only one witness it but now hank witness it too.

this graph I draw is how I view arena mode event combined with my story. player stuck between points in time. And hank you can view him as like a virus or something like that because since he meant to be contained just like player but he's not and now continue to exist until present time. making him a dangerous being to the system (nevada)

think of it like, hank knows too much behind the curtains and he could use that to his advantage to destroy the machine anytime he wants

that's all I have for now. you can tell I really struggle with the last part of how should I explain it but im glad I get it all out. I hope you guys get the overall context of my rambling

[insightonthestars]

the secondary colour sage squad

we may have a problem

[todayisafridaynight]

[fanofthelamb]

i said i wasnt gonna do this, then immediately went off to go do this bc i realized i could procrastinate other projects if i did (im really responsible!!!)

anyway SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE TAGS AND STUFF!!!!! i wanted to practice drawing peoples lambs, i tried to mostly stick to people i know but we got 2 new ones here :D

@paintpaintpaintman (WAR), @lambment , @bamsara ,

@aychama , (me) , @spiderin-space

hope you guys like it!!!!!!!!!

[anglerflsh]

wow ive been kind of off lately I should take a day to rest an[explosion]

[pup-pee]

ur bartkon art legendary

TYSMM!!!!! IM GLAD U LIKE ITT!!!!! <33

heres a silly sketch i prolly wont color :3

[skunkes]

abt to say smthng deranged

but ive reverted to accepting my fate here especially since im really really lazy and stupid and just want to draw but the only sharp thing still poking at my sides is wanting to transition and how I know as soon as my birthday rolls around I'll wish I had done anything to get out and start that, while sobbing hysterically over how the years just keep passing me by in that regard. 14 years. 15 years. And many many more.

But at the same time its like. I wouldnt want to claw my way out solely to transition (which at this point would be the sole positive thing about leaving). Because whats the point. I want to be transitioned before I really look for or accept love, yes, but moving out and doing so wouldn't lead to that I dont think. Id be living the same life im living here, but Worse and more exhausting. So i also dont see the worth in fighting to do it.

I feel those 2 views are at odds, but, like, its never enough to do things just for myself even if I really need it. It always has to be in relation to someone else. There would not be a someone else so why bother. Im not finding love while I live here so it doesn't Really matter if i cant do it, but this wouldnt change if i left so why would I fight for it. Why be the true version of me if I have nobody to share Me with (especially considering it will ostracize me from most everyone else I love.) I dont know

[epicdogymoment]

[dewgongs]

ughh why do i have to have njghtmares about them

[anxiously-going]

.

[radlegowaffle]

i love digital painting! i wish i understood how to do it

[humanmorph]

alright since i am at my wits end. fatt mutuals/followers. when you hear “i believe that justice given is no justice at all” what image comes to mind for you. anything in particular

[occasionally-victor]

guess on what i spent very little effort, too much effort and an entire month? (you can clearly see how i got sick of this somewhere after 3/5 lmaoo)

Part 1 (you are here)|| Part 2 (doesn't exist yet)

i haven't forgotten to put text there, its intentional ("Uh..." "This is quite pants, isn't it?." no shit bestie)

[pl4n]

[caffeinatedopossum]

I feel like I'm lying to myself about how much pain I'm in (surely it can't be that bad right?) But now I'm aware of the pain in my toes and my fingernails and my ears and like. It doesn't feel like the rest of my pain anymore because I tune it out, it's like a completely new feeling almost. Idk how to explain it cause I feel like you could argue it isn't even pain but I can tell that it is, it's just really weird

[apoapsis]

ok! thread tracker from 49 -> 17

what got dropped is really anything prior to november/december, stagnated interactions (i.e: idk where to go w/ the thread or i just dont have muse for it), anything i can't find, or, in the case of ppl i have multiple multipara threads with, i simply chose my favorite/most impactful ones to track

my updated tracked threads can be found here

due to the notification issues with tumblr, it did tamper with the tracker so unfortunately you will not be able to click through to the threads themselves atm, but feel free to dm me to request the link to our thread(s)... idk when this will be fixed so im just using the tracker list basically to remember exactly who my active threads are with atm so i know which urls to filter through in my tags

if there is an unlisted thread you desperately would prefer to continue, please link me to the thread in question and i'll let you know if i'm capable of continuing it.

there is a chance there are other threads i may have wanted to continue, but i intentionally tried to limit myself to keeping 2 threads per character (meaning 2 threads per muse not blog, in the case of multimuses)