#im actually like. gonna pass out or something

[bluemerakis]

and i forgot to mention that i wouldn't mind if the soldier boy x fangirl!reader fic had smut 🫣 i don't think sb could spend too long around someone who always admired him without creating a big sexual tension between them, that's just his nature !!!!!

oh bby… i was going to have some smut in there regardless alskdjxisjsn SORRY but like i’m not passing up the opportunity when it comes to SB LMAO. plus, we all know sb enjoys the glory and attention that comes with his title—it’s what he grew up seeking out with all the internalised fears that he’d never live up to a worthy image of what a man is (daddy issues af). so when fangirl!reader comes along and gives him the butter he can’t help but smear all over his bread (why did that analogy sound so gross WHOOPSIE), there’s defs going to be a tension that develops there. and it starts out as more of an infatuation thing but can definitely (and WILL bc it’s me) develop into something more genuine the more time they spend around one another. and i can see him becoming soft with the realisation that fangirl!reader really admires him past the facade of his fame once they get closer, and it drives some closeted part of him to want to hold her close and protect her. sorry im on a work break now and i have creative juices flowing like hell so im rambling now but I GOT YOU YEAH 🙂‍↕️❗️❗️❗️

in my mind, whenever i write a sb x reader where they don’t really have an established relationship, there’s a lot that’s douchey about him. i’m a firm believer of character development lmfao so i think that sb can be super insufferable when you first meet him, and he tries way too hard to come off as a charmer that’s gonna drop your panties within the first five minutes of conversation. but the more time you spend with him—outside of the public’s prying eye, trying to undress all that he is, you’ll come to see that he’s capable of giving a lot, actually. he’s just gotta be taught how to. and bc he grew up with a certain idea on what a man and a woman should be, there’s a lot he’s going to get wrong out of pure ignorance—but the more you educate him, the more he’ll try to do better by you and for you. and fangirl reader is absolutely going to give him a lesson or two PLEASE. 🙏 she’s gonna soften him so bad i can see it 🙂‍↕️

[fatedroses]

Chance encounters in Costa del Sol.

[rohirric-hunter]

I've gone and exposed myself to losers online who are incredibly mad about War of the Rohirrim for stupid reasons and I'm not gonna obsess over it, honestly, but I do want to point out that it's a supremely faithful adaptation of the single page of the appendices it was based on. There were two notable deviations from the extremely bare-bones story that we're given in the appendices. One, Hera killing Wulf at Helm's Deep instead of Frealaf killing him in Meduseld, simply had to be done because of the medium. Imagine a movie about the events that gave Helm's Deep its name, but the climax of the movie happened at Edoras. That would be so lame. I suppose Frealaf could still technically have killed him, but this ties into that other thing I was talking about, about great deeds that aren't remembered in song and Eowyn's complex about that. (There are no witnesses to Hera's challenge to Wulf except for some Dunlendings, Olwyn, and Frealaf at the very end.) The other deviation is Hama's death. I'm supremely ambivalent towards this in a movie where Hama is only a supporting character. His role in the movie was to motivate and develop Hera and Wulf.

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

why do they do this and can they stop it please

[redyarns]

snippet (undertow, ch. 6)

IM TIRED OF THIS GRANDPA

[skrunksthatwunk]

idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.

the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.

yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.

but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?

this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.

yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.

i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.

so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.

because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.

he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.

but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.

yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.

[mc-tummy-blur]

Didn't expect the year of our Lord 2025 to get into Alan Rickman, but I guess that's how it goes sometimes

The year of getting into an actor that so far I have only seen portray maladjusted men

[bsotted]

ok well. unfortunate news: sometimes ur niche is so niche u've already niched the niche. this is exactly the same as the feeling of hitting the end of ur ship tag in ao3 🥲

*edit: sorry i accidentally named like every character ever in the tags so ppl are Seeing this post who dont have the benefit of so much as a single crumb of context. if i accidentally namedropped ur blorbo its bc of this post:

anyway. i was excited for recs bc i also enjoy this genre of fictional character. unfortunately as above the niche is niched, it turns out. at least for me, content enjoyer georg, who has apparently already seen or read everything anyone else has already seen or read except for a small handful of specific media properties that i do not wish to see or read for various personal reasons and also not literally everything ever... just the same things as everyone else has already seen and read... u get the idea. ok thnks 👍🏻

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

[pen-papers]

Accidentally clicking QUIT instead on CONTINUE after finally reaching the top of Death Mountain in OOT

Remembering that there's the secret path back to Goron city through the Lost Woods

[islandlobster]

hello all. I've finished echoes of wisdom

[mishy-mashy]

[eightspringdays]

I'm so TIRED. I need to do like two 20 minutes walks carrying my shit to my new apartment because it's too Close to use a cab or an Uber and I rather walk that spend money mindlessly but I need to do that before my work where I have to run and play with dogs but yesterday it was so cold outside my body now feels like I lifted a 20 kilos dumbbells with my ears and I ran like two hours because a pomeranian had the energy of a chipmunk on crack

I have been awake for half of an hour and I feel Tired and like I didn't sleep at all

[subaru-meteorlight]

the very incredible experience of scrolling phaidei thirst trap fanart and thinking “if anybody saw this on my phone im gonna get outed as gay” before realising that im perceived as a girl so. ??

[randomfingthings]

Hate the brain sometimes (every other day really 🙂👌) cause tell me why i was suffering thru studying this entire semester in agony over how i would rather be doodling and doing a million other things and now that break is here.......

nothing, no motivation, no ideas, just meh and blehhhh and timeeeee

[thetriggeredhappy]

i dont wanna exaggerate and use terms like "personal responsibility" and "doing the right thing", implying that there's any amount of like, homework that you need to do, any kind of requirement in your day to day life - but i do think that sometimes you gotta do a nice thing for a kid, y'know? don't you remember how nice it was, being a kid, when someone older than you or cooler than you or more talented or capable than you said something or did something that showed that you, like, existed as a non-negative and non-detrimental entity? it's so hard, being a kid. tell them they're doing a good job. encourage them to go be human beings. do nice things for kids. c'mon. it's always worth it