#im actually impressed it lasted over 6 years

[freebooter4ever]

shit guys my tablet pen is going bad :(

[colebabey888]

A few DIY beauty secrets I began doing to elevate my "natural" look | IT GIRL DIARIES

something that I noticed over the years, when looking to enhance your natural beauty, there are 4 main points that build the first impression, hair, eyes, brows and lips..

I have naturally bushy brows that I used to manage with eyebrow gel, but it would start flaking during the day, which gave me the ickk. So, I began laminating them with a kid-friendly relaxer every two weeks (my eyebrows grow pretty fast, which is why I do it so often and i don't get them professionally done because i don't trust people with my brows lol).

I always tweeze my eyebrows instead of waxing them; they seem to grow back slower that way + it's easier to do, just grab a tweezer along with a pocket mirror and you can do it anywhere if you see a hair out of place. ( don't over do it though, i made this mistake and it went horribly, just keep them neat )

Get your lashes laminated !!! Natural lashes are so classy and I don't have to worry about putting on mascara or falsies. This I'd get done professionally though lmao, I would do this myself but I'm way to scared to be messing with anything chemically so close to my eyes, so it isn't necessarily a diy but still, get it done!

ALWAYS make sure your hair, eyes (lashes) and eyebrows are done! You don't have to have a silk press, falsies and freshly waxed brows 24/7 but make sure they're neat. These are the key features that attracts people's attention when youre speaking to them

I have tight 4b type hair, and I used to have to lay my edges with gel or edge control because of how fluffy they'd get when I wore my curls out, but it was super damaging from constantly pulling on them and having them laid down. So, I started relaxing my edges every 3-6 months. Now, all I use is a bit of hairspray to keep them tamed, and now it doesn't puff up even during workouts and it lasts my whole silk press. Yes, my curls are still thriving.

I do weekly deep conditioning, monthly hot oil treatments, routine trims, and always use a heat protectant and frizz control when doing silk presses to stretch them out and minimize heat application. ( my hair has grown so much, leave your hair alone and only feed it when it's hungry! )

you'll hear everyone talking about silk bonnets, but as someone who hates the feeling of having anything on their head or in their face, I always took it off unknowingly throughout the night and it defeated the purpose, so i got silk pillow cases instead, game changer! i don't wrap my hair as often anymore and i don't experience frizz anymore.

I apply a face mask every week depending on what my skin is lacking, whether it’s moisture or something else. It just keeps my face looking fresh and plump in between professional monthly facials.

I use a lip tint every third day. It makes makeup application easier, and it doesn’t wear off throughout the day so i don't have to re-apply lipstick continuously. It also gives my lips a bit more colour so now I just leave the house with a pretty gloss or plain lip balm.

I take zinc supplements religiously!

Vitamin C everyday, all day. Lemon wedge in my greentea for breakfast, orange for a lunchtime snack and a naartjie for a late night movie. My skin is glowinggg!

hair removal cream! this is so slept on, i no longer shave or wax, both of them have caused ingrowns for me and accentuate my strawberry legs. i use hair removal cream now and i don't think I'll ever go back! i use it probably every week or so depending on how much growth i have, it's so easy and mess free. apply it before you get in the shower and use an exfoliating glove to slide it off gently and continue with your normal wash routine. always apply tissue oil and moisturizer after! baby soft skin all day, everyday!

It's not much, but these small changes have completely transformed my overall look. i do them specifically for those actual no makeup days where i want to give my skin a break from makeup or where im working out but still want to look prettyyy and done up..it's like a wash and go except it's for your face lmao, anyways

mwah! xoxo, colebabey8.88

www.investingforbeginners/gumroad.com

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[pencildragons]

ty for tagging me tessa @clayvedevs !!!!!!!!!

1. Do you make your bed?

NO. making the bed is evil and also too hard

2. Favourite number?

uhhh UHHHH 12 ? 12 is a good number i liked being twelve. 67 is also a good number !!

3. What's your job?

divine prophet of The Bog (extremely unemployed)

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

yes !!!! i lovee school i lovee learning & my hs? extremely chill

5. Can you parallel park?

yes fire emoji fire emoji fire emoji

6. Do you think aliens are real?

I feel like the possibility that there AREN'T aliens is extraordinarily low, even if they haven't evolved yet or would be completely unrecognisable as a form of life to us. the universe is still comparatively so so young so i feel the chances that at some point in the next quadzillion years that the circumstances of earth won't be replicated at least in part is hugely unlikely

7. Can you drive a manual car?

technically? i learnt to drive in a manual ute that is ABSOLUTELY not roadworthy but i did not get a manual licence :( sort of regret that but im sure if i got back in a manual i could do it again. probably

8. Guilty pleasure?

thinking in depth and forever abt my girl in middle earth oc hobbit fic that i havent properly written since like 2021. she means the WORLD to me i could make it sooo good if i just got over the evil puritans in my head telling me it is cringe

9. Tattoos?

soon!!! one day!!!! trust and believe!!!!!!!

10. Favourite colour?

loveeeeee yellow i love yellow so much soo much. unfortunately i am ginger.

11. Favourite type of music?

idk if i have a favourite TYPE of music persay? but ive sort of been bouncing between a mix of folk rock and Silly Power Metal and i will hit up the odd soundtrack also. wait actually this is untrue i am, embarrassingly, really into hyperpop (UNDERSCORES I LOVE YOU)

12. Do you like puzzles?

yeah! they're kind of evil and i am not great at pattern recognition and they hurt my back. but also v satisfying to do

13. Any phobias?

ants i fucking hate ants i HATE them (i stood in a bullant nest when i was 2) + also maybe thalassophobia? idk though that may have also been cured by the time i played 130 hours of subnautica in a week in december

14. Favourite childhood sport?

touch footie!!! i was very good at it lowk and i miss playing it terribly

15. Do you talk to yourself?

LMAO YEAH. when im thinking about writing especially. or doing literally anything. i will talk to myself

16. Tea or coffee?

TEA I LOVE TEA I LOVE TEA SO MUCH. i cannot drink coffee because The Side Effects + caffeine does not seem to have the intended effect on me, so i don't really drink caffeinated tea that much either? i absolutely LOVE rooibos with honey in it though one million out of ten

17. First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

i wanted to be a scientist because i was under the impression that scientists blew things up and that it was exclusively their job to do that. i still want to be a scientist tbh but for different reasons

18. What movies do you adore?

im so normal and regular and fine about the hobbit extended edition trilogy. so normal. no but fr i love unexpected journey i have watched it more than twenty times total and. five times in the last week and a bit LOL

Tagging:

@sithfox @hastalavistabyebye @patchmates @rockcattomato and anyone else who would like to !!!!

[lorelaiislatte]

Do you think there's a chance a streaming service will pick ncis:h? I've signed the petition but do we dare to hope? I'm tired of this happening all the time. I just dont understand. It was doing fine in ratings and it's a part of a franchise that keeps getting more spin offs? How that makes sense? Do you know the ratings compared with the others ncis shows? Sorry im asking you but im not from usa and i have no idea how american netwoks work. So sad rn.

okay SO i am also not from the us but have done this dance before sooooo:

1) from what i’ve heard, they were planning to move either another ncis show (i think sydney?) or another cbs show to paramount plus - which they now are no longer doing. in theory yes, this opens up the possibility for ncishi to move over there; in practice, i’m not holding my breath, as typically that negotiation would happen before a cancellation announcement

2) how does it make sense? the honest answer is that it doesn’t. like, it really doesn’t. it’s been holding steady at sixth of 14 cbs shows in the ratings (which is a brilliant number, ensures it’s profitable, and is also impressive for a procedural that’s still relatively new). it’s been beating a LOT of other crime procedurals in viewership and viewer retention, and reviewers have been singing its praises. i think this is why it feels so much as if it’s because they just view this show as less valuable (socially and economically) than their usual white guy cop shows; it’s very difficult to argue that your profitable, successful show is too expensive when you’re flying cast and crews across - or, potentially, internationally to - australia, to continue a less-highly-rated show with no issue.

3) as far as ratings go - ncis hawai’i episodes were pulling in as many as 10 million viewers last year (s2 e10 came in with 10.5 mil, as per variety telecast viewership reports) which has it going toe to toe with the core ncis (seems to pull approx. 8-10mil per episode, via hollywood reporter). for the 18-49 demographic across us series, ncis hawaii is ranking at #13 of #21 as per tvseriesfinale.com - this is significantly above ncis sydney (renewed, #15), and elsbeth (#19, renewed), two other cbs shows, one of which in particular is incredibly expensive. crucially, ncishi has actually increased its viewership, which is VERY difficult to do on a year to year basis. its up by 4.18% among 18 to 49 year olds - for comparison the core NCIS is down 0.83% and fbi international - a competing show - is down by 3.73%. bear in mind that even a single percentage point represents hundreds of thousands of viewers.

i also want to point out that ranking at #13 isn’t strictly representative of viewer numbers, it’s about percentage of viewers that are within that core age bracket. the neighbourhood is ranking at #6, but only pulling in 4.8 million viewers - ncishi is at #13, and pulling in 5.2 million. ncishi pulls in over half a million more viewers than four shows ranked above it in that chart.

so essentially - it doesn’t make sense. from any perspective. it doesn’t make sense from a business perspective (ncis sydney is more expensive to produce and brings in approx. 200k less viewers than ncishi, and ncishi crew had already agreed to a shortened, budget-restrained final season), it doesn’t make sense for a ratings perspective (it continues to outperform many of cbs’ own shows, including ones that have been renewed), it doesn’t make sense from a social perspective (people are loving it, even outside of our fandom spaces).

objectively, it’s a really, really bad move by cbs. i also thought being part of a franchise would be a kind of safety net - fool me once, i guess. all the evidence suggests that they just don’t care enough about ncishi, especially when they’ve got their bullshit white guy ncis origins show, a young sheldon spinoff (?? who asked?) and a plethora of other cookie-cutter shows they can just keep going with. and we can make a pretty educated guess as to why, when the main things that set ncishi apart from the other ncis shows are its diversity and character dynamics

(edit: it was pointed out that people aren’t being flown to sydney from the us, which is true, and bad phrasing on my part - but many are flown across australia at seemingly similar costs to mainland us/hawai’i flights, and i believe not all of the leads are based in australia either, so i’ve updated that bit for clarity. apologies!)

[it-was-funeral-grey]

Realisations in mess (Al Haitham x F!Reader)

Masterlist Part 5 Part 6

Summary: you're finally home! But what is this mess? clean up + cooking with alhaitham basically

Warnings: vulgarities, trashed up house (matra's fault), reader's ankle is sprained, cleaning up, alhaitham spewing out absolute bs, they eat an onion lol (no joke i was far gone when i wrote that part), sword,

Word count: <3.4k

Inspired by:-

Author's note: im learning how to make gifs! also im not sure if its obvious, but this is gonna be a 'slowburn' type of story!

Thank you everyone for your comments and encouragement! I can;t thank you all enough!

as usual i hope this is ok i tried

Please give criticism! Also, if i missed any warnings, do tell me so i can add them!

Her house is a fucking mess.

Al Haitham can try, but he can't recall what her house looks like. But he knows it's not supposed to look like this.

Archons, what the hell did the Matra do? 

He doesn't stop her when she unslings her arm from around him. Instead, he holds the door open as she hobbles into her living room. He hears her let out a defeated sigh, but when she turns around to face him, she smiles.

"Well, at least I'll have something to do this afternoon," she looks around with pursed lips. "Been thinking of rearranging stuff anyway!"

Her cheerful tone doesn't fool him. It's as clear as day that she's beyond upset at the state of her home.

"You're...going to clean up this mess on your own?" she can't be serious. The place is completely trashed (is that...Harra Spice on the floor?). "Just you. With your sprained ankle." 

"Well, you did see the looks that the neighbours gave me," no, he didn't. He was focusing on other things. Like making sure she leans her weight on him, not her ankle. "I should probably keep to myself for now," she replies, her eyes downcast. "Hopefully, whatever rumours about me will die out soon." 

With that, she squats down, picking up a book off the floor. 

Huh, now that he thinks about it, there are a lot of books here (and yes, that's definitely Harra Spice on the floor.). And no, not notebooks or record books. Actual books- look, there's a book on languages over there and a thick book about Liyue Adeptuses right next to it. Al Haitham has never seen another house with this many books (apart from his own). In fact, most of her living room floor is covered in them, ripped from their bookshelves which lay not too far away from them. 

It must have taken her years to collect this many books. He's impressed that she managed to keep them all hidden all this time.

"I'll be fine, really," her voice strains as she reaches for another book. "Thank you for helping me back! And for everything else." 

Al Haitham's moving before he knows it. One second he's standing up, looking down at her picking up her books. The next, he's dropping his overnight bag and squatting down, grabbing her book for her.

"Oh! Thank you."

"You need to rest your ankle," Al Haitham states, reaching over to take the book already in her hands. "Stand up." 

Moving over to her, he gestures for her to sling an arm over him before standing up with her.

"There's no way you're going to be able to clean up this mess," he unslings her hand gently before walking over to her overturned couch. "I'll help."

"Ah! It's fine," she hobbles over to him, but he's already flipped her couch over. "You must be busy. I can-"

"It's lunchtime now. Everyone's on break." 

"Then you should be taking a break too!"

"I've already done so on the boat."

"Well, what about your lunch? I didn't see you eat anything."

"I had a heavy breakfast."

"That's not lunch."

"Sit down and rest your ankle."

"Hey! Did you hear what I just said?"

Despite your protests, you're grateful you won't have to clean up this mess alone.

"How do you arrange your books?" Al Haitham asks as he lifts your last toppled bookshelf back upright. "By topic? Height?" He then shoots you a wary glance. "…Colour?"

"Topic, then by height," you reply, feeling slightly useless as you sit on the couch with a newly bandaged ankle (courtesy of Al Haitham). "Wait, colour? Do people do that?"

"You'll be surprised," he chuckles, and you see his shoulders relax. "There exists a certain individual that insists on making it their personal mission to convince others to arrange their bookshelves that way purely 'for the aesthetic'," he picks up a red book off the floor, running a hand over the slightly dented cover. "You have a lot of books here."

"Do… you find it strange?" you ask meekly. You wouldn't be surprised if he did. Hardly anyone in Sumeru used books, much less kept them thanks to the (recently abolished) Personal Book Act. This wouldn't be the first time a visitor judges you about it.

"Not at all," Al Haitham replies, flipping through the book gently. "I'm just surprised that you read," he stops at a folded page. "Almost no one reads in Sumeru. Not even Akademiya scholars. All they relied on was the Akasha terminals."

He balances the book in a hand and shuts it.

"I'm impressed that you managed to get your hands on this many. The Akademiya doesn't print any books. And there aren't any bookstores in Sumeru."

He passes the red book to you, and you swear his lips curve upwards for a fraction of a second.

"It's well written, but the author gives no evidence to back up his hypothesis. It's pure speculation on his part."

"You've read this before?"

"It's a title in the House of Daena," he explains, bending down to pick up another book and reading its title. "Although it's better off as a storybook."

"The House of Daena has books about Liyue?" you ask. The book in your hands is a Liyue publication which took you many pains to obtain. If there's an easier way to get access to such books-

"Definitely," he seems intrigued by your enthusiasm. "Many darshans' studies involve learning about other cultures and regions. So, books on such topics would be provided. Although whether the students want to read them is a different story."

So they'll have books about Liyue Law! You haven't been able to get your hands on any thus far.

He picks up a few more books off the floor and places them on a bookshelf nearest to him.

"You have a lot of books on Law. And Liyue."

"Ah! Yeah," his observation shocks you back into reality. "I…actually wanted to study in Liyue's Law School."

"Wanted?"

"Well, you know," he turns to look at you, and you look away. You know you won't be able to control the disappointment written all over your face if you talk about this. "Times aren't exactly the best now. Money is tight right now, with inflation and all. So…"

"I see."

"Yeah," you sigh and quickly plaster a smile, as you turn back to him. "But it's alright. I can still read about it! There are many more books in the House of Daena, so I'll borrow them!"

"…You can only borrow books if you're a student or teacher at the Akademiya."

"Oh."

It takes Al Haitham about an hour to finally get all the books off the ground and into a somewhat orderly manner. The floor is much more empty now, save for shards of glass and foodstuff amongst overturned furniture. Al Haitham knows that the Matra are thorough in their investigations, but wrecking a house to such an extent in search of evidence is seriously going overboard.

He's going to have a long talk with the Matra stationed at Port Ormos when he gets there.

"Here?" Al Haitham asks the lady standing next to him. She's insisted on helping, against his protests. Eventually, they came to a compromise- he'll carry and arrange the books, and she'll point out where to put everything.

"Yep! These few are fine- ok, switch those two," she instructs. "Everything else is in order. Thank you!"

"Where's the broom?" Al Haitham asks, kicking a shard of glass away from her. "There's glass everywhere."

"It must be the bottle of Harra Spice I bought," she hobbles past the dining table over to the kitchen, Al Haitham following closely behind her. "I bought some groceries the day before I got arrested. I left it on the dining table and… forgot to unpack it."

She didn't forget. Al Haitham takes the opportunity to quickly pick up the chairs and push them under the table, which she thanks him for. She was taking care of me and didn't have the time to put it away.

They both ignore the splinters of wood that fall out when he moves the chairs.

"I'm sorry about this whole mess," Al Haitham sighs. It doesn't matter how he tries to reason with himself. No matter what, this whole situation is his fault. And it leaves a really bad taste in his mouth that she's the one paying the price for it. "I'll be sure to pay for whatever damages there are."

"None of this is your fault," she quickly retorts, grabbing the broom's handle…which immediately detaches from the broom's head. "And like I said," she reaches for the broom head, but Al Haitham beats her to it, taking the handle from her as well. "I've been thinking about rearranging the place anyway!"

Yeah. Rearranging, not refurbishing. Past her shoulder, he sees the wrecked kitchen. And shards of broken tableware among other objects sprinkled all over the floor. She's going to need to replace a lot of things.

"Still, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you-"

"If you really want to make it up to me, take care of yourself and don't faint in front of a random person's house again!"

"I'll do my best."

"Is…that a yes or a no?" her head tilts as she frowns, eyeing him puzzledly. "And wait! Do your best to not do that or to do that?"

And out of nowhere, Al Haitham feels the sudden urge to 'push it', as Kaveh call it. Just to see how she'll react. For research purposes.

"Celestia wills the movement of the mountain and hills." he recites an old rhyme while observing her increasingly perplexed expression with great interest. The rhyme was just his grandmother's way of saying that no one knew what the future held- except fate.

"…what?"

"May the stars align your wish alongside their plans."

"???"

The good news is that cleaning your kitchen didn't take very long. The bad news is that you pretty much have to buy a new set of almost everything for your kitchen.

No, you're not joking. All you could do was grab things off the floor and counter and throw them into the bin. It hadn't taken long for you to realise that the Matra had destroyed almost everything, save for your stove and sink, a dented, but still usable pot, a single onion and a small bottle of oil.

Nothing else was spared. Not your tableware. Not your bottles of sauce. Not any of your newly bought ingredients. And most definitely not your bottle of Harra spice.

"This should be the last of it," Al Haitham re-enters the kitchen with a fully filled dustpan. "You need any help in here?"

"No, I'm done here," you groan. The Matra had destroyed all your groceries for the week. Do you even have enough Mora to buy food again this week? "Squeaky clean!"

"…and empty."

"Don't remind me," you grumble, sitting on the counter. "How did they break so many plates? It's not even fragile! It's made of wood!"

"A hidden ability of overzealous and bored Matra, I suppose," Al Haitham says as he dumps the contents of the dustpan into your overflowing bin. "Is there anything else?"

"No, just my room. I'll settle that myself," you answer. Rubbing at your bandaged ankle, you sigh, leaning your head against the overhead cabinet. "Thank you for your help, really. I wouldn't have been able to clean this all on my own."

"It's no problem. How does your ankle feel?"

"It's alright. Doesn't hurt too much."

"That's good. Elevate it when you can."

"I will."

A peaceful silence washes over the two of you as you finally get some rest after cleaning the entire house. But all that's interrupted when your stomach suddenly rumbles.

Oh, Archons. 

"I…I'm so sorry."

"Well, it is a little bit past lunchtime. How are you settling lunch?"

"I have an onion."

"Sorry?"

"I have oil too."

"You're going to eat an onion?"

"I gotta," you grip the onion in your hands. "But all my knives are broken, so I can't dice it."

"Can't you go out to buy some ingredients?" Al Haitham looks a little concerned. "You don't need to eat the onion."

"The only person who sells groceries these days is Bahram," you begin peeling the onion. "But he closes shop early. He should be closed right now."

"So, how are you planning on eating this…onion?"

"I'll try to fry it."

"You're just going to toss that whole sphere of onion onto a pan?"

"Well, I don't have a pan anymore so I'll use my pot," you grab your pot and place it over the stove. "Hopefully, it won't roll out."

"Now, hold on. Don't do that."

"I mean the other alternative is eating it raw, but-"

"Use this."

"Hm?" you pour some oil into the pot before turning to him. "What the he-"

"Calm down. You're going to spill the oil onto the floor."

"Where did that come from?!"

"From me."

Before you is a beautiful green blade, rounded by a white and gold spine. A majestic aura surrounds it- as if it belongs to a higher being. It almost looks too holy to touch.

"Here. Use it to dice the onion."

HUH.

"Waitjustholdonasecond," your words jumble as you struggle to understand his request. "You want me to take your fancy blade and use it to cut the onion?"

"Yes," he pushes the blade further towards you. "Go on."

"You can't be serious. I can't do that to your sword!"

"If it's hygiene you're worried about, I assure you that-"

"No, it's not that!" honestly, it kind of scares you how hygiene isn't your main concern here. "Your sword! I can't cut an onion with your sword! What if I break it?"

"If my sword breaks from cutting an onion, I wouldn't carry it around."

"You carry it around? Where? I didn't see- ok, I'm going off-topic," you sigh. "Are you sure I can use it? It looks really expensive and I don't wanna, uh, desecrate it."

"It's a sword. It's meant for cutting things," he takes the onion from you and slices it into two before handing it over to you. "You're using it as intended. I don't see the problem."

"If you say so…" he lets the blade go into your hands, and you jerk at the sudden weight. "Oh- Archons, how do you carry this?"

"You alright there?"

"Yep, yep, I- I'll be fine!"

Your onions end up more chunky than usual, but you'll take it. You heat up the oil (after trying to squeeze out every last drop of oil from the small bottle) and gently add in the onions later. The sounds of sizzling oil fill the kitchen, and you happily take in the scent emitting from the pot. After a while, you feel that it's time to stir it around so you-

Wait. How are you gonna stir it?

"Uh oh," you grab the handle of the pot, tilting it from one end to the other. But it's no use. The onions aren't flipping over. "Oh no."

"Hm?"

"I forgot I don't have a spatula. I can't flip it."

"Use the sword."

"I- fine. Use the sword."

The final product looks better than you expected. Golden brown onions lay on top of each other inside the pot and your mouth waters at the sight.

"You'll have to wait till the pot cools down a little," Al Haitham cautions as he places the pot on the dining table. "Or else you'll burn your hand when you reach in for a slice."

"Haha, no."

"Hey! What did I just say-"

You really can't help yourself. You're too hungry. Reaching into the pipping hot pot, you pinch a piece of onion and quickly toss it into your mouth.

"Ah- hwot-"

"Unbelievable."

"Take- a slice!" you say between blowing out hot air. "It tastes pretty good! Must be the fancy sword flavour."

"I'll take one when it cools down a little. So I don't burn my fingers and the roof of my mouth."

"Suit yourself."

And the two of you fall into another cycle of silence- this time only interrupted by the sound of you blowing out hot air and Al Haitham scoffing at the display before him. Eventually, the pot cools down, and he takes up your offer and grabs a piece.

"What do you think? Pretty good, right?"

"It's good."

"That's all you have to say about the onions your sword painstakingly chopped?" you hold your chest in fake shock. "How dare you, good sir!"

"Well, my sword seems happy enough," he plays along, reaching a hand out. In an instant, the blade materialises. "I don't see any dissatisfaction from it."

"Woah!"

And then the blade disappears. And his hand is again as empty as your kitchen is.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what? Keep my sword?"

"Yeah! And make it reappear!"

"Well…"

The rest of your meal is spent happily chatting and making the poor man materialise and keep his blade over, and over again.

As selfish as it sounds, you don't want him to go. Because the moment he does, you'll be alone in Vimara Village, with nothing but rumours to keep you company.

But he has a job to do- an important one, at that. He's Sumeru's Acting Grand Sage. He's not a friend.

"I think it's about time I take my leave," he finally says, snapping you out of your train of thought. Standing up from his shaky chair, he grabs his overnight bag. "Thank you for your hospitality."

"Not at all," you reply, slowly standing from your chair as well. "I'm sorry that I couldn't host you under better circumstances."

"Would you happen to know where a certain Dilawar lives?" he asks. "I was told that he lives here."

Ah, so that's why he's here.

"Mr Dilawar lives not too far from here. Just head upwards from here and stop at the second house from the bridge," you answer. "Are… you here to fix Port Ormos?"

"Yes," he replies. "The closure of the port is not a problem I can ignore. Discussing the current state and future of the port with the trade supervisors is a crucial step in fixing the problem."

"Well, if you're on the case, then there's nothing for us common folk to worry about," you let out a relieved sigh. "With you as the Acting Grand Sage, Sumeru is in good hands."

"…Thank you."

You walk him to your front door, and he pauses outside for a moment to look back at you.

"Make sure to rest your ankle."

"I will."

"Keep a look out for any shards of glass on the floor. I may have missed them."

"I highly doubt that, but alright."

"And," he pauses again, looking over at your bookshelves. "Don't give up hope on going to Law school."

"Eh?"

"You must have taken a lot of effort to collect and read through all those books," he says. "It'd be a pity if all that effort went to waste."

He stands a little straighter, looking you in the eye this time.

"This is a temporary issue. Don't let something like that ruin a lifetime of fulfilment."

With that, he turns around.

"Well then, see you."

"Ah! Yeah, see you."

And he walked off.

"Well, you know," she doesn't turn away fast enough for Al Haitham to miss that crushed expression of hers. "Times aren't exactly the best now. Money is tight right now, with inflation and all. So…"

"I see."

So, it's a money issue. The reason that she's giving up her dream is because of money.

Like hell he's going to let that happen.

He'll solve it. He'll fix Sumeru's entire economy. He'll force the port open with his own two hands.

Just get that look off her face.

Join the Taglist!

Tagged: @sh3wholiv3s @simpcreator @confusedparticle @quintessentialdreaming @icedlemontea03 @levisbebe @anxious-piece-of-bread @confused-red-head

[player1064]

Footy RPF Fictober, day 6 - Different sport AU

also available on ao3

shoutout to the carraville server for brainstorming what sports they could do in this one........... im literally no thoughts head empty just imagining gary in a gymnast's outfit. tbh.

---

Something that nobody tells you about the Olympics is how boring it is. You spend four years training for what ultimately comes down to a couple of days’ worth of events.

Jamie does alright for himself in national competitions – more than just alright actually, alright doesn’t get you picked for team GB – and he’s had his fair share of European medals. Even at the international level, he’s lost track of how many times he’s made the finals at the World Athletics Championships (maybe it’s not polite to brag. But who cares – he’s worked hard to get where he’s got, he’s allowed to toot his own horn a little).

The Olympics, though… they’re a different beast. It’s his second go-around and if you’re just going off of placement then technically it’s been worse than the first. He’d not made it out of the heats for the steeplechase and he’d come dead last in his semi final for hurdles. But he’d got new PBs for both, so it’s not been a complete waste of time.

It does mean that he’s been stuck loitering around the Olympic village with nothing to do while he waits for the closing ceremony to come around. He works his way through the books he’d brought along with him, he gets to know all the other sorry bastards who are in the same situation as him, and he goes to watch whatever random events the Team GB people can get him tickets for.

That’s the one highlight of it, really. Usually Jamie’s so locked in to the world of athletics that he forgets other sports actually exist, that there’s people who actually earn a living off of, like, boats. Or beating other people up.

Or, as it would turn out, gymnastics. The first time Jamie shows up to watch it he’s expecting to see a load of young girls jumping around in sparkly leotards – not really his thing, but he can appreciate it from an athletic point of view. Instead, though, he’s met with a lot of very muscular men performing routines that he can’t tear his eyes away from.

The British team earn themselves bronze medals, too, and it’s far enough removed from Jamie’s own sport that he can skip feeling jealous and just be impressed. So he asks if he can get tickets for the next day. And the next.

There’s this one guy on the team. He must be around Jamie’s age, maybe a couple of years older, and Jamie’s pretty sure he’s not smiled once the entire games. He’s tall for a gymnast, though really not that tall at all, and his legs. Jesus fuck, those legs. His arms, too, and his chest – just every bit of him, actually.

He’s in the next event – individual all-round – and he doesn’t place. But then at the next one he bags himself a silver for the rings, and he just misses third for the vault (Jamie’s only just learnt the scoring system for this sport but he’s certain he was robbed). And then he’s not in the next event, and when Jamie leans over to ask another team GB spectator where he is they look at him like he’s stupid and tell him “he’s already done all his disciplines”.

So he politely waits for the British lad to be done with his bit (gotta support the side, even if it’s not the British lad he’d been hoping to see), then he high-tails it out of there and goes back to mope around the village.

Neville, he’s learnt by now. Gary Neville. He’s been asking around the team GB lot to find out what people know about him (the usual stuff – name, what part of the village he’s staying in, does he like men, how old is he, please for the love of god tell me he likes men, that sort of thing), and it’s not a lot. He sounds like a bit of an anti-social prick actually, so focused on his sport that he doesn’t have much time for other people.

Sporty family, apparently. His brother plays football for Manchester United (Jamie makes a mental note to avoid football talk when they eventually get to speak), and his sister plays netball for England. Gary is somehow (especially considering that Jamie’s just watched him snag two Olympic medals) the least successful of the three.

There’s a bunch of fast food places in the Olympic village – kind of stupid, considering what professional athletes usually eat, but also kind of genius considering the amount of people who’ll be in need of comfort food. It’s in one of these that Jamie manages to accidentally-on-purpose run into him.

“It’s Gary, right?” he says to introduce himself, all casual-like. “Surprised our paths’ve never crossed before. I’m Jamie, but most people just call me Carra. Athletics.”

Gary squints at him, frowning. There’s a little line at the centre of his brow that Jamie hadn’t noticed when he’d been watching him from the stands. “Right,” he says slowly, like he’s not quite sure why Jamie’s talking to him. “Hi. Were you waitin’ to order, or…?”

“Nah, not too big on Chinese. Just – was walkin’ by and I saw you, thought I’d congratulate you on the medals.”

“Oh! Thanks, yeah, obviously I’m really proud, and pleased for my whole team too I s’pose… erm, I’ve not had much time to watch the athletics, that all go alright?”

Jamie shrugs. “As expected.”

“Right. Well, nice to have—”

Gary takes a step as if to leave. Jamie takes a step too, so that he can’t. “Didn’t fancy going back up there today to cheer your mates on?”

His face scrunches up with displeasure as if Jamie’s just suggested he walk over hot coals. “It’s my rest day,” he says, like that’s reason enough not to go.

To be honest, Jamie can’t really judge. He’s been avoiding the other track events too.

“D’you want some company?”

“You what?”

“With yer resting.” Jamie looks around the village, gestures vaguely at the other athletes milling about like we both know they’re all doing it too. Then, in case the problem was less the principle of the thing and more that Jamie hadn't made himself clear enough, he adds, “in your room. Would you like to rest, with me, in your room. Or mine, I’m not fussy.”

Gary blinks. “Are you comin’ on to me?”

“Jesus Christ, what else would I be doin’? I’m fit, you’re fit – in both senses of the word –” with that, Jamie adds a wink. It may be over the top, it may be sort of cringe-worthy, but he’s never had any complaints about that sort of thing before. Someone even once called him cute for it. “Why not give it a go? If it’s shite then you won’t have to see me for the next four years anyway.”

“You’re a real charmer, aren’t you?” Gary shakes his head, then looks him over consideringly. Jamie feels a bit awkward under his analytical gaze; he puffs his chest out a bit, tries to stand a little taller.

Then, Gary shrugs. “Yeah, alright then. But if you break one of these fuckin’ – flimsy little beds, you’re paying for the damage. Deal?”

[cherripieee]

Dangerous Territory

pairing: Mindy Meeks-Martin x fem!reader (slight Mindy x Anika)

summary: You and Mindy were such close friends, that was until a girl came along and things slowly drifted apart between the two of you. But, one day, you hear a certain song playing from her room...

word count: 2.2k

warnings: SMUT, cheating, slight scream 5 and 6 spoilers, oral sex (Mindy receiving), fingering, no aftercare at all, praise, swearing, mentions of sexual tension/chemistry, the ending lowkey kinda abrupt im sorry lol

‘You look so pretty and I love this view’

It’s that damn song again. The one that your roommate can’t stop playing and it’s getting annoying. You’re probably wondering, what’s so annoying about it? ‘we fell in love in october’ is a good song, it's actually one of your favorites. But there’s an issue. 

You moved onto campus last year and you’re a junior in college who is majoring in dance. It’s the best thing in the world to you and it’s definitely what you want to do for the rest of your life. Everything was going great; you had a girlfriend, the routine you had choreographed was gonna be showcased in front of the whole university AND a few famous choreographers…

But then she had to come along. Mindy Meeks Martin. 

Of course, you didn’t mind the fact that she had moved into your apartment! Plus, you needed a roommate after that nasty break up you had with your ex, who shall NOT be named. You found a pair of panties that weren't yours, and one thing led to another. 

Obviously Mindy didn’t cause your break up, she was just an innocent bystander. Hell, you barely knew her. But it all started once your ex moved out of your apartment and Mindy moved in. She was constantly giving you weird looks and stares as if she was suspicious of you. 

At first, there was nothing wrong with it. You knew about what happened in Woodsboro and you felt bad so you thought nothing of her odd behavior. Being almost brutally murdered isn’t something you get over quickly. 

She started to warm up to you. 

It took a while, but she definitely did. 

It was roughly three in the morning when she came back into the apartment, coming back from a late night hangout with Tara and Chad. She honestly thought you were asleep, she knew it was a weekend but you were always busy. In fact, Mindy was impressed by how efficient and clean you were. 

She walked by your room and stopped dead in her tracks when she heard what you were watching. As a big horror movie geek, she knew every movie line by heart and if she didn’t, she’d learn the whole script in the next week. 

You were watching ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’, a classic. 

“I never took you for a horror movie fan, roomie.” She said, leaning against your door frame as she watched you turn around. 

“Well, roomie, you never hang out with me so I doubt you know anything about me.” you retorted quickly. 

Mindy took that as a challenge. Ever since that night, she swore to herself that she would learn anything and everything about you. She would hang out with you more, A LOT MORE. 

She’d always ask about the things you liked and secretly keep mental notes in her head about every single thing. 

Mindy Meeks Martin was falling for you. 

Your personality was magnetic, almost identical to Mindy’s. Both of you called people out on their bullshit, spoke your minds, loved horror movies and were two geeks at heart. 

Things were going great between you two, that was until Mindy met someone. 

That someone was Anika Kayoko. 

They had met in Blackmore’s student library, Mindy making the first move. She noticed her having trouble getting a book off of a high shelf and Mindy rushed over to help out, mind you she almost couldn’t reach the book herself. But she did! Soon after that, they had made plans to go out that night.

The two of you were supposed to hang that night. 

You and Mindy had a disagreement on a movie and decided to put it to the test and watch it together, to see who was right. But once Mindy told you that she had a date, everything was different. 

You were starting to like Mindy. 

But you didn’t want to seem clingy, so you wished her a good time and watched the movie on your own. She stayed out almost all night, laughing and talking with Anika. 

It went on for days. 

Mindy would ditch you for Anika time after time with the same old apology: 

“Hey, I gotta run! Sorry, we can finish it next time I promise!” 

Days…

Weeks…

Months… 

And now, you’re stuck in your room listening to the music blast in her own room. 

‘We fell in love in October’ 

That’s your song. That’s the song that you showed to Mindy and she instantly loved it. 

That’s the song that played when you caught Mindy and Anika making out in the living room. 

You didn’t know why you were shocked, really. All of the signs pointed to Mindy seeing someone; staying out late, making up excuses. You guys weren’t even together, just REALLY close friends. 

‘That’s why, I love fall’ 

In a blurred rage you’re banging your fist on her door after texting her MULTIPLE times to turn the damn music down. 

“Mindy!” You yelled, your voice cracking a bit. You had been yelling at her for the past few minutes and your voice was getting tired. “MINDY!” 

At this point you’re about to barge into her room and cuss her out for ignoring you AND blasting music louder than it needed to be. You would play music in your own room but you knew your limits. 

The music stops. 

You hear loud footsteps approaching the door, it sounds like she’s stomping. …is she angry? 

The door flies open and you’re surprised that it didn’t smack Mindy square in the face. She’s pissed. You know Mindy way too well not to notice the signs. Her brows are furrowed, her eyes are more glassy than usual, her lips are pressed in a firm line and she’s breathing heavily. 

“...what crawled up your ass?” you jokingly asked, trying to lighten the mood. Usually you’d get a dry snicker from Mindy whenever a situation like this occurred, but that same look stayed on her face. 

She’s looking you up and down, her eyes are like fire as she checks out your body. Her jaw ticks as her eyes meet yours once again and she rolls her eyes. 

“Anika blew me off for some other girl.” 

You knew the feeling. 

You’re a good friend so you don’t bother to point that out, instead you pull Mindy into a hug. Her hands are on you in an instant, hugging the curve of your back tightly as she buries her head into your shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry, roomie…” 

Those are the only words you can let leave your mouth. You don’t want to make this worse by putting yourself into Mindy’s mess, so you stay quiet and hold her like a good friend should. You rubbed her back soothingly as her breathing slowly calmed down, becoming normal. 

“Is there anything I can do for you, Mindy?” 

She looks up at you with a new look in her eye. That same fire from before has brightened even more, but not with anger. 

With want.

With desire.

With lust. 

Mindy lets go of you, stepping back into her room and watching you with hooded eyes. The red lights illuminating her glassy eyes, making them look red and hot as they bore into your own eyes. 

“Wanna do something you’ll regret?” 

                                                       ~

“Fuck, you’re so good at this…” 

This was definitely NOT what you expected. 

Her back is pressed up against the mattress and you’re sending feather-like kisses down her stomach, slowly reaching dangerous territory. 

You want to stop, you really do. This isn’t fair to Anika and you’re helping Mindy cheat on her, techincally. Anika cheated first, but you didn’t even know the full story. All you knew is that Mindy wanted you and you couldn’t tell if she was using this to get back at Anika or if she simply wanted to fuck you. 

“This is so wrong…” Your words vibrate against her warm body and all she does is moan in response. 

“Should I stop?” That question slips out just as you reach her thighs, and you can smell her. She smells amazing and it’s everything you’ve ever wanted. But, this whole situation was wrong. 

“If you stop, I’ll simply just keep going.” 

You immeadiately retaliated, scooting back as Mindy slowly pulled down her panties. She’s dripping wet just from the thought of you in between her legs, she’s thought of that many MANY times before. 

You look up as she swirls her index finger in her mouth, sucking on it and keeping eye contact with you the entire time. Behind those glassy eyes was pure lust and desire for you. 

Slowly, she trails her finger down her stomach and that leaves a glistening trail of her own spit. It shines red due to the led lights and a moan slips out of your mouth once she starts to circle her clit with her fingertip. 

“I’ve thought about this, y’know.”

Her words catch you off guard as you tear your eyes away from the beautiful sight to look her in the eye. 

“Thought about what?” 

“I touched myself just like this, roomie. Thinkin’ of you and how sexy you are…” 

She puts an empathis on the word ‘this’ and moves her finger down to her dripping cunt. She plunges it inside of her, swirling and curling it inside of her. 

“Fuck, Mindy…” 

You don’t want to stop, but you know deep down in your heart that this is truly wrong. You fucking despised Anika and Mindy’s relationship and you wanted Mindy to yourself, but why were you acting this way? 

“Come on, roomie, help me out…” 

Her eyes are fixated on your blushing face, and you’re suddenly glad that the led lights are red because so are your cheeks. 

After a long sigh, you carefully took out her finger from her entrance. It’s dripping with her arousal and you can’t help but let out a low groan. You suck and lap at her finger greedily, taking every last bit of liquid you can. 

“You taste so good, Mind. Just like I imagined…” 

You’re in between Mindy’s legs as they rest on your shoulders, shaking uncontrollably as you dive into her wet cunt. The slow strokes of your tongue is making her go completely wild as she howls out curse words and tugging at your hair, surprisingly not ripping it out by now. 

You lap at her greedily and grip her thighs, stopping them from shaking so much so you can focus. 

She’s so fucking wet and her juices are dripping down from your chin as you continued to eat her out like it was your last meal. 

“So good…” Mindy whispers as she lolls her head back, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. 

Your nose is pushing up against her clit at the most perfect angle, and she rides against your nose and starts to chase her own pleasure. She lets out little ‘shits’ and groans as her stomach starts to rise and fall even faster. 

She’s close. 

The fact that she’s using you to get off is making you horny as hell, but this was about Mindy. 

Mindy was the one who had pulled you into her room in the first place, covering you in heated kisses and complaining to you about Anika. You can briefly hear her talk about her while you’re in between her thighs. 

“She’s so weird for that– fuck, right there! How're you gonna cheat on me and try to deny it?! Ah, go a little bit faster…” 

You’re not even bothered with her little rants as you bury yourself in her cunt, lapping at her soaked folds. 

She goes on and on about Anika…

..until she stops. 

Letting out the loudest cry, so loud you’re certain that the whole university had heard it, she clenches around your tongue and pushes your head into her.

“Ohmyfucking– Shit, shit, shit!” 

Her whole body stills as she lets out one final moan that’s followed by quieter ones and heavy breathing. 

…you just fucked your roommate and gave her an ear shattering orgasm. 

You sit in between your legs, catching your own breath. That was one of the most hottest and intense things you had done in your life. 

“Wow, Mindy, I-” 

She sits up, her eyes now filled with guilt and regret. 

“You should leave.” She doesn’t even look at you as she says it, instead looking to the side of the room and curling her knees up against her chest. 

“Really?!”  You’re fucking pissed! She was the one who convinced you to do this, this was her idea! It’s not YOUR fault that Anika dumped her for another gi- 

“Yes, really. This was a HUGE mistake, and I shouldn’t have let you in!” 

“But guess what, Mindy? You DID!” 

She doesn’t bother to look at you, even after everything the two of you had done. 

“Just…go.” 

With that, you stand back up on your own two feet and head for the door. Casting one last glance at Mindy…

You swore you could see a tear rolling down her cheek as she buried her face into a pillow. 

You stomp angrily to your room, slamming it loud enough for Mindy to hear. 

There’s only one thing you want to do right now. 

You grab your headphones and press a few buttons on your phone before music blasts in your ears and you’re lying face down on your bed. 

‘You look so pretty and I love this view’ 

[davejade-sometimes]

3 - massive fail 2 electric boogaloo

---

As soon as he steps foot through the door, he is totally regretting his life’s decisions. Scanning the room, it is as he feared: The Girl is there, laughing with Karkat and, surprisingly, John. Dave does a double take. John and Karkat in the same room together? He’s surprised the place is still standing. Dave hopes that she - Jade, right? - has forgotten all about him and his massive uncool failure, but Karkat turns his head to see who’s at the door, and shit, the jig is up. It’s all over. He can pinpoint the exact moment Karkat realizes the power he has to turn around and ruin Dave’s life. He does not disappoint, nudging Jade and saying something barely audible to her. John perks up, looking over as well. Take a picture losers, it’ll last longer, Dave thinks sourly as John begins to wave.

JOHN: dave!!! it’s me, john!! 

DAVE: wow really i hadnt noticed

He makes his way up to the counter, Rose in tow. He knows she’s watching all this go down with sharp amusement, feeling her beady little eyes on his back. John is sitting on the counter (to compensate for his shortness), and Karkat moves up to the register in front of them. Jade is nowhere to be seen.

KARKAT: HEY DAVE. 

He gives Dave a shit-eating grin. 

KARKAT: HAVE I INTRODUCED YOU TO MY FRIEND YET? 

KARKAT: I THINK YOU’D REALLY LIKE HER. 

KARKAT: YOU HAVEN’T MET BEFORE, RIGHT? 

DAVE: no no i definitely havent she doesnt have a very memorable face no siree 

DAVE: who is this person to have been deemed worthy of my acquaintance

DAVE: im a very busy guy karkat

DAVE: not a lot of time for trivial matters like consorting with coffee-making damsels

KARKAT: OH I’M SURE. 

KARKAT: COME HERE, LOVE. OH SORRY, I MEAN LOVELY LADY.

The lady in question pokes her head out of the pantry, tilting it quizzically.

JADE: wait karkat are you talking to me

JADE: i mean uhh

JADE: yes?

KARKAT: I WANT YOU TO MEET SOMEONE.

KARKAT: THIS IS DAVE.

DAVE: sup 

DAVE: nice to meet you

DAVE: definitely for the first time

JADE: uhhh yeah! likewise

Dave holds his hand out to shake, and Jade awkwardly slaps it like a high five. This is going great. Karkat looks ready to pass away from holding in hysterical laughter. In the background, John looks confused. This is not an unusual occurance, as John is often confused. It’s a fact of life at this point. Rose has ambled over to the display case and appears to be intently scrutinizing the goods. 

DAVE: so uh

DAVE: john

DAVE: whatre you doing here

DAVE: are you a coffee connoisseur

DAVE: now are you fancy bitch or starbucks junkie

DAVE: i dont see you as either honestly but then again i didnt know you liked coffee at all

JOHN: no, i’m visiting my sister! jade.

JOHN: do you really not remember me ever talking about her?

JOHN: we’ve known eachother for what, 6 years?

JOHN: i even said something about it a couple days ago! i told you i would be busy because i would be helping her here.

DAVE: i have no recollection of this 

DAVE: wheres the evidence egbert

KARKAT: I CALL BULLSHIT. 

DAVE: surprise surprise

DAVE: im shocked

DAVE: flabbergasted even

DAVE: if i wasnt so young youd need to call life alert because i just had a heart attack

JADE: i know cpr!!

DAVE: impressive

DAVE: a woman of many talents 

DAVE: i respect that 

ROSE: So very feminist of you, Dave.

ROSE: Your progress is astounding.

JOHN: dave’s a feminist now?

JOHN: i think the lack of sun exposure on his eyes has somehow warped his brain.

DAVE: whats the problem guys theres nothing wrong with feminism 

DAVE: i love feminism. i. love women?

KARKAT: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

ROSE: Did something change in the last few minutes that I wasn’t aware of?

KARKAT: I SEEM TO RECALL DIFFERENT THINGS.

JOHN: i like women too. 

John nods in a very serious manner. Dave can’t tell whether he’s actually serious or doing it for the bit. He doesn’t think he wants to know the answer

DAVE: im glad

DAVE: women really need to be liked and treasured

DAVE: anyway

DAVE: can i get a uhh

DAVE: latte

Karkat resumes his place at the register and ringing him up. Jade turns and starts making the espresso, and Dave steps back to let Rose order. He finds himself a seat at the bar counter next to John, resting his arms on it and talking about nothing in particular. He’s only half paying attention, watching Jade work from the relative privacy his shades offer.

A short while later, a latte is pushed across the counter to him. The frothy milk jiggles a bit as it stops, and he observes the expertly poured heart shape in the foam. When he looks up, Jade has already moved on to the next customer, laughing over her shoulder at something he can’t see.

---

hey there quick authors note ig

thank you (especially you!! you know who you are. you can absolutely be crowned our number one fan) for the support on our silly little self-indulgent writing

:)

[memes-saved-me]

I have so many questions for your hunger games au oh my gosh

Did Billy and Steve have to go through what Finnick had too after the games? How did Billy get the name the tiger? What were their experiences like inside their games? Did they join career packs? Have allies? A Rue situation? What was their training score? Their skills? What was it like being reaped? Especially when Billy has a sister of reaping age? What was it like living without each other only seeing each other a few days each year except maybe through the monitored phones in the victor houses? Did they starve and suffer in their districts before their wins?

I'm so sorry if this is too many questions 😭 Im madly in love with the hunger games and what you wrote is utterly brilliant

This is literally the best ask I have ever received so buckle up for some info dumping because I planned this AU out years ago with my sister at like 2am while on holiday lmao.

Yes. Yes they did but Billy more so as for a few years after winning Steve dated a series of girls in his district to try and avoid what he had heard whispers of. Billy didn't have the advantage of information and soon found himself being transported to the Capital for whoever had requested his services.

He basically went feral in the arena and killed his way through it threw pure rage and fear. Just like a Tiger he stalked the other tributes and attacked them getting the upper hand through surprise mostly and his strength. Shock attacks but he definitely held his own a few times as well.

As said, Billy went beast mode and killed anyone he ran into until no one was left and he won. Fear and anger being a constant emotion throughout but due to his killing spree it didn't last very long since no one had the chance to hide for long before he found them. Only Max moves in with Billy as his father isn't invited and Susan stays with him. Steve, however, charmed his way into sponsors and kept to himself only killing those who attacked him first. Shame and guilt occupied his mind throughout as his family name was being dragged through the mud by the son who chose to hide rather than fight but when he was crowned that was all washed away and he went on to live in victor's village alone while his family stayed at home.

Neither of them did but Billy was approached multiple times.

Billy planned to die in the arena before he realised he could actually win and went on his rampage so no but Steve did befriend a few of the other tributes before entering the game. However, they all either died before he could find them or actively attacked him.

Nope. Lone wolves lol

Billy got somewhere between 8-9 for his strength, climbing abilities and axe work. Steve got 6-7 for his fighting abilities but didn't really impress anyone.

Billy is very good at sneaking because of his home life and he can deal with injuries due to being used to it. He is strong from being a lumberjack but doesn't care for accuracy in battle and just goes in for the swing. He can climb anything and that becomes very useful when surprise attacking other tributes. Steve is observant and good with people. Strong but more smart in fights as he doesn't have the instinctive rage like Billy. He's good with a weapon but not so much his bare hands.

Steve was reaped and he couldn't move but somehow walked up to the stage smiled at the cameras and it didn't sink in until he was on the train and he went into full on panic attack mode. Billy laughed. Of course it would be him, of course when he was almost safe.

Billy had a few of his name in there from getting extra food because of course Max couldn't but he never actually thought he would get reaped.

They definitely had a code system to get away with saying things over the phone. Like "I hope I get some good tributes this year" meaning "I cant wait to see you" or "I miss the Capitol" meaning "I miss you". Stuff like that which would sound like they love the games but in fact they only continue to mentor to see each other. It would be difficult. Especially the guilt of their happiest moments coming at the cost of dead children and Billy finds that very hard to deal with.

Steve's family had money. His parents both being quite important in the energy sector and he was expected to follow in their footsteps but didn't pass any tests or qualify for higher up positions. Billy's mother died when he was 10 and then Max and Susan moved in soon after as Neil couldn't deal with raising him alone and wanted someone to run the house while he worked in lumber making just enough to feed everyone but he still used Billy to get extra food and the day Billy turned 14 he was dragged out of school and an axe was put in his hands.

I could keep going with lore lmao but its 3am and I've ran out of questions to answer so hopefully this answers them!

[thecoolerliauditore]

HEY ANON! Idk what it is but im feeling super duper extra forgiving and kind today so I've decided to actually type up a response to that ask but im answering it like this cus i don't wanna subject my followers to having to scroll thru what u wrote 👍

stuff below the cut (heed the warnings in the tags)

this is the context, for those curious

FIRST OFF this is so so so SO not okay to send to anyone but ESPECIALLY not a stranger on the internet. Anon you are so lucky I am as comfortable as I am reading and talking about depression/suicide and (I hope) you didn't send this to someone who it could potentially trigger and that I am as normal as I am and not someone who would respond to this callously.

This is such a jump from "i don't draw good", nobody on this website is your therapist or your parent and nobody owes you the time of day to hear you vent. You really don't deserve a response at all but I am doing this because 1. I am nice and very very bored and 2. I believe I used to kind of be like you so I'm somewhat sympathetic.

That being said re: the 'draw more' comic

Anon not everything is about you or directly addressed to you. The message of that comic isn't to just draw more (if anything, mindlessly grinding art isn't the most productive studying you can do once you reach a certain skill level imo), it's to illustrate your mindset and why it's flawed.

The artist in that comic is frustrated with their own progress and skill only because they cannot see the 100x amount of work their more experienced counterpart put in. That doesn't mean their own effort doesn't matter, it just means they have no sense of scale and don't understand why, when they've done so much, they aren't as skilled as those around them.

It's this mindset that inevitably leads to the assumption that other people are just born more talented or didn't have to work as hard for their skills when they certainly did (this might not have been what you intended to say but using words like "life is unfair" paints a very specific impression). Which is. Frustrating, you could imagine, for those of us who have pushed through that period of growth only to be met with "oh woe is me, not blessed by the art muse like your holiness".

I put that there because your message reminded me of it. The last thing it's meant to be is a direct message towards You to Draw More.

re: learning art

My guy nobody is happy with their art straight away. I wasn't happy with my art for like. 6 years.

Learning art is as much of a mental battle as it is a physical one. The improvement over time chart is something I've tried to keep in mind for years when it comes to those "dip" periods in which it suddenly feels like you suck.

I've seen quite a few people touch on it in recent years but the first time I saw it was in this Sycra video.

Just like a bad mental health day due to seasonal depression I found it much easier to bear once I could sense a 'dip' period incoming and braced myself for it. I even.. kind of learned to enjoy it and accept it as part of my growth process because it was a sign I was going to improve enormously in the coming month or so. but that might just be me lol.

Eitherway, hope this helps 👍speaking of that though

re: depression/suicide/mental health

Let's be honest with ourselves here there is something much deeper going on with you in your life if Drawing Pictures gets you feeling suicidal.

Art isn't this all or nothing thing, you're allowed to take breaks for years and then come back fresh, you're allowed to start drawing at age 98. There's no expiry date on it. It's not professional gymnastics.

What I'm trying to illustrate here is that art is clearly a symptom of a bigger problem in your life that has you taking this attitude with yourself and the way you talk is doing anything but helping your case. You know what's especially unhelpful tho is venting to faceless block man artists on tumblr about this who don't know your personal circumstances or like.. who you are at all. seriously.

This is a problem you're going to have to fix yourself. "seek therapy" is the stock standard answer that we would all love to accept but that isn't realistic for alot of obvious reasons. I can't say what would work for you but personally I'd advise looking to online free mental health resources (forums like reddit are a last resort but if you can find the right space for that then what works works).

If you want an artsy spin on it I'd recommend literally any number of artists' youtube videos on their artistic journeys and their own struggles with impostor syndrome, insecurities, depression, etc. Off the top of my head I recall Jazza has made a few over the years and i adore these marco bucci videos in particular.

The bottom line is that you're going to have to help yourself, Anon. You can't expect others to make themselves smaller to make you more comfortable, you have to create that space for yourself.

We can all uplift each other but no one's going to respond kindly if you come out of the gate downplaying everyone else's efforts.

[mikarchive2]

what i read in february 2023 📚

1. teatro grottesco by thomas ligotti - ★★★★ - picked this up because i randomly read one of his short stories on a train once and was so enamoured ... a short story collection centered around a subtle existential sort of horror that is less about gore and violence and more about something unknown but dreadful lurking in your peripheral vision . some of these, especially the ones from the deformations section, felt very welcome to night vale . delicious . makes you feel like a kid listening to scary campfire stories . i enjoy hanging out in the world created by this narrative voice so much

favourites: purity, the town manager, the clown puppet, my case for retributive action + in a foreign town, in a foreign land

2. the raven and the reindeer by t. kingfisher - ★★ - i think what im doing here is trying to read a fairytale retelling every month 👍 ... this really did not work for me though . the writing style felt so childish ( this could have been a book for twelve year olds ) + the story did not go anywhere and stayed extremely surface-level throughout the whole book . yeah sure there were lesbians but no actual substance whatsoever . the reading process was somewhat enjoyable because the humor was alright, but thats pretty much the only redeeming quality

3. the world keeps ending, and the world goes on by franny choi - ★★★ - i believe this is a case of ‘its not you its me’ because even though the way the author plays with language is straight up fascinating something about her poetry never clicks with me . i had the exact same issue with soft science as well - there is a certain detachment and coldness to her style that doesnt allow me to properly process the poems on an emotional level . still, i really liked the fourth section, it was so imaginative and full of the kind of resilience that is only born out of utter hopelessness

4. the passion by jeanette winterson - ★★★ - unfortunately i have the same issue here as with franny choi - something in me just always refuses to click with jeanette winterson . the author is trying to lead me somewhere by the hand but she is always slightly out of reach . this is my third book by her and while i can see and appreciate her craft it just never leaves a lasting impression on me its so strange ... i enjoyed the imagery + the philosophical ideas about love and passion but the story itself ... i dont know

5. the sandman: world’s end ( vol. 8 ) by neil gaiman - reread - i am not rating these god bless and putting them in the review post is probably not a good idea either since i ramble about them enough as is . what can i even say about a series that pretty much formed the way i understand the world and the human condition . stories within stories within stories . the foreshadowing here is insane and probably unnoticeable unless you are rereading . its hard to say what the writing process here was actually like perhaps it was way more spontaneous than i imagine but it all seems so meticulously and purposefully planned its just stunning

( + two books i left unfinished last year because of my broken ebook reader and decided to finish this month: )

6. wyrd sisters by terry pratchett - ★★★ - ( looks above ) my reading order here is very ‘frequently bought together’ ‘do not separate them’ huh ... this was very shakespearean which was fun but not ideal for me personally because it means some things definitely flew right over my head . i think i enjoyed equal rites a little more ? however at the end of the day its just your typical discworld novel i laughed i witnessed some well-written women and losermen i laughed some more . what else could i ask for

7. when i grow up i want to be a list of further possibilities by chen chen - ★★★★ - wonderfully heart-warming and radiant and witty and has the power to restore your belief in love and tenderness at least for a moment . this kind of literal and confessional american poetry usually isnt for me but miraculously chen chen made it work ! basically the hype is well deserved

up next: im actually not sure im trying to slow down since i need to get through some college textbooks 💔 ... + im sure want to finish the sandman which is really enough for the next one thousand years . considering mrs. dalloway by virginia woolf too someone called it a spring read once and ive wanted to read it during this season ever since

[isabelguerra]

Good luck with finals week!! I would love to know your thoughts on how Izjo's respective friend groups regard their relationship. You've gone over Max (the poor unfortunate soul) in your AU but I would LOVE to know more. In general do the AC and Jang just have to watch as Izjo have the world's most insane bisexual dynamic ever. Do they just have to accept it as a part of their lives now. Because the impression I get from Izjo is that they will make their dynamic EVERYONE'S problem

aw thanks! im assuming you mean in the wizard au, i’ll focus on that.

short answer: yes.

nuanced answer: no.

elaborative answer: they DO make it everyones problem, but not in the way you would expect. one of wizjo’s key elements is how horrible they both are with their feelings; their earlier years are made up of near constant frenemy rival bickering and the occasionally genuine physical/verbal fight, but by the time they stop being kids and start developing a Different dynamic it’s something that they go out of their way to avoid and not acknowledge.

so in a way they make it everyones problem by being avoidant, and not making a problem of it. which in itself is a problem. you have feelings, you cannot just pretend they don’t exist. your friends will notice because they care, and they will worry about you. they stop making Knowing Each Other everyone’s problem (rowdy) and start making Knowing Each Other everyones problem (their actions to avoid confronting how they feel end up having a larger and more obvious impact, with more convoluted consequences, for those around them than just being their normal rowdy selves would)

this is a Whole Thing. johnny’s dare, that ends up stranding everyone in the forbidden forest for hours past curfew, scattered and split up, is made because he gets too twitchy to talk to isabel normally. isabel accepts because she feels she cant back down; to her the act of pushing back is a similar kind of resistance to the emotions shes been bottling up for a year. and challenges are familiar territory, so she feels like this is safe ground to indulge and playfully push back against. but both of their decisions end up landing everyone in a (ultimately non serious but still pretty dick move to your friends) situation. avoiding their feelings has more lasting effects on those close to them than just bucking up and facing their feelings honestly.

but! that’s only one part. its not always that heavy. so the jang, ollie especially, figures out johnnys crush about midway through 2nd year. johnny, however, does not REALIZE THEY KNOW. he doesn’t figure it out until the start of their 6th year, after izjos (accidental) first kiss. hes talking to ollie about it, and ollies like ‘we are your best friends. we have been your best friends for 6 years. do you really think that we wouldnt notice’. ollie gets the full brunt of it due to being johnnys roommate. he’s gently supportive, if not horrifically teasing at times, and he and isabel get along surprisingly well, theyre on first name basis. johnnys like whaaaat nooo since when how come and ollie goes you could also on first name basis if youd be willing to just put down the bit of calling her guerra 24/7.

the AC isnt as tight knit as the jang but i think they know before isabel does. max at least can tell somethings off. hold on sorry im so sleepy. ill continue this tomorrow actually, thanks for the ask :^)!!

[luvvixu]

i'll just answer them all cuz this has been on my draft for so longggg and if you all still want to know more, just do the number 36 and drop it on the "a penny for your thought" in my profile.

1. my nickname is luwisi (and my name is louise, btw)

2. my birthday just actually passed quietly, and it's on may 27

3. my longest relationship lasted for 1 year and 6 months (this actually happened on 2021-2022)

4. my favorite book is pride and prejudice by jane austen!!

5. im insecure of my weight :((

6. i've got a huge crush on these five male, namely; joshua hong from seventeen, finn wolfhard, jaemin from nct dream, alex turner, and avan jogia

7. OKAY SO I'VE REALLY LOVE THESE FIVE FEMALE CELEBS AND THOSE ARE; cate blanchett, kang hyewon former member of iz*one, gwen apuli from bini, anne hathaway, and giselle from aespa!!

8. my dream job is being a forensic psychologist

9. probably my biggest accomplishment so far is that i entered my dream university

10. my parents actually got my name while my mother is pregnant with me and they were strolling in a cemetery, saw two names and they combined it together—they liked it sm so here i ammmm

11. let's just take the month of may since the june was just starting. my high is that the school year ends with me being on the rank 8 out of 1,043 overall in our school and my low is my birthday.

12. i really want to go to canada and see the aurora borealis

13. to de-stress, i sleep, listen to music, and watch yt

14. i really love youtube, instagram, tiktok, tears of themis, and ofc roblox

15. i would like to describe myself in one sentence is "i need more money"

16. my face card never declines

17. i'm good at academics, specifically literature and writings

18. im bad at all sports but im do good in badminton

19. I ONCE LIED ABOUT MY AGE TO PROTECT MYSELF BUT ITS REAL THIS TIME LMAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO

20. i've seen this a million times and this never fails to make me laugh, it's a fact that there's a species of fish called the "slippery dick" 💀💀💀

21. my cat knows me the best

22. my most prize possession is my cat—i just pick him on the streets and no thing or anything could replace that dude

23. my longest friendship is 12 years and we're still hanging out till this day.

24. i first feel like an adult when i prioritize the feelings and comfortability of others than mine (that was like when i was on third grade or eight years old)

25. yeahhhh, i once compete on a badminton tournament in our school and won bronze medal

26. i actually feel nothing at this moment

27. def a night owl

28. yes, i do believe in love at first sight

29. my fave lyrics atm is this verse from mind over matter by young the giant — "and when the seasons change, will you stand by me? 'cause I'm a young man built to fall."

30. for me, self-care is having a homeostasis in your body—in which i do not have lolololololololololol (BUT I DO A LOT OF SKIN CARE, HABITS, ROUTINES, AND I AM HAPPY WITH MY HOBBIES)

31. if im describing myself as a singers, then i'll be conan gray, alex turner, and clairo

32. i'm really nervous when someone text or chat me just by my name and without any context, like they would text me "louise" and i was like internally "WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?!?!?!" yeahhhhh, so next time pls text me with context, it will really help me control my anxiety.

33. i have a lot of pet peeves and it will take me a long time to say it—i have anger issues.

34. i have a lot of things that will make me and it will take me a long time to say it—i have a soft heart.

35. im so sorry to say this but my first impression is that if they're annoying, approachable, and gay

Question Game

Are we tired of these yet?

What is your nickname?

When is your birthday?

What was your longest relationship?

What is your favorite book?

What is something you're insecure about?

5 Male celebrity crushes

5 Female celebrity crushes

What is your dream job?

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

What were your highs and lows for this last month?

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

How do you de-stress?

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

Describe yourself in one sentence.

What do you think makes you attractive?

What is something you're really good at?

What is something you're really bad at?

A time that you told a lie.

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

Who knows you the best?

What is your most prized possession?

What is your longest friendship?

When did you first feel like an adult?

Do you/ Have you played any sports?

How are you feeling right now?

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Favorite song lyrics right now?

What does self care look like for you?

Describe yourself with 3 singers.

What makes you nervous?

What’s a pet peeve you have?

What will always make you cry?

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

Free Pass! (Ask any question you want that's not on the list)

[approachme4fun]

Why Im Over MissBanshee....Finally

Lovelife Ended

Since my last blogpost,MissBanshee went ahead and made a horrendes "hang Approach out to dry",camoed as a "adressing the situation". Where she without any sort of proof,tossed at me personality traits as a Stalker,a Weirdo and a Creep.

Like Theo Von said when a prostitute called him a pervert and a creep: "Well,im defintly not a creep!".

Stalking? Make it make sence that someone who has been deeply in love with you daily going on the 6th month and therefor for almost half a year fully,overnight turns into a stalker???? It doesnt make any fucking sence,from one day being sweet love and someone neither can get enough of,to the other day: fucking weirdo,fucking creep,fucking stalker!!! (Your own words on a stream!)

None of my friends who looks at us both as friends,or at least tries to look at the entire situation as objectively as possible,states that you have no reason to call a super recent boyfriend turned ex by you,a stalker/weirdo/creep.

Again,i adressed this in a Twitter article,how i have withnessed own female family members getting new IDs and a new location to live,top secret,to be protected against stalkers. They wanted the individual both mental and physical harm. I could NEVER hurt YOU intentionally! You know this better then anyone else,you said so yourself countless of times: "you dont have a bad bone in your body".

If i unintentionally hurt you,then i will fall to my knees and apologize the very moment i become aware! Well,if you let me that is......and i have proven this time and time again,its all in our endless amount of discord conversations over these almost full 6 months.

You also called me a creep? Only creep im looking at myself as in between,is when i listen to Radioheads song Creep.

Whatever you thought you had on me,to legitimize hanging me out to dry as all that,you DONT! But you did it anyway,wich proves to me not just that i invested alot more into our relationship,but you also dont feel anything for me.

You had a chance to highlight my good sides too over 2 fucking hours of hanging me out to dry,where you indirectly at first encouraged people to attack my twitter,and people in your own community to make up wild stories about me being married to children (one of your new mods btw),while the other sugardaddy Mod took things completely out of context,to show theyr true fucking colours!

And other people you said you disliked personally,and hadnt even been in your streams in forever,all of a sudden were there talking massive smack about me.

And yes,someone that is being shut out of someones life they have literally lived for the last half year,will be searching up streams to see how you cope with the breakup yourself,if you mention them at all for some closure,if anything. I would find it really fucking cold and unusual if someones partner DIDNT look up theyr partner in a similar situation.

I admit,my amount of text at certain social medias was abit too much,ideally speaking. But i was desperate for some answers,some closure so i knew what the fuck was happening,and quite frankly....had you answered me,put some effort yourself into the mix,alot of what you reacted so badly upon would never have been mentioned. I know this,and you know this.

Makes me wonder how much your mom really did read,if she was of such a bombastic impression of me. Didnt bother to tell her how i actually treated you day in and day out,for almost full half year hah?

Figures...... it seems to be an ongoing thing with you,while my whole idea was to also highlight your good sides and abilities wich i love.....or loved. Because they are now just imagination to me......never real. Something you can thank yourself for......

I have never mistreated anyone like you described on your "hang out Approach" stream. Funny that i should start with you,when it all has been explained with me being exhausted (no sleep),pain wich also resulted in deep depression,dumb reversed psychology was also in the mix,plus i was already upset over the latest neglect.

Blame me for waiting and waiting,staring at the wall,then back on discord,starting to do other stuff while waiting,as i thought your internet really was out for soo long,only to find you in a lobby with the same people you claimed to me that you had told: "Only me and my mans are gonna hang out this weekend!" Is it really soo much to ask for,to get a heads up? You knew this from previous neglects,how my head gets messed up over knowing only after the damage is done.

You need to update me!!!! Its soo easy to avoid these types of arguments,geezus fucking christ!!! You knew about my past of hurting and huge mistrust towards women,and you repeatedly promised me that you would never......

I kept my promise at least,i fucked up massively ONE TIME,and thats when you block me,when the depression is thick as a mist on my words! You know i would never break up with you,it was depression talk! So when i realized you had blocked me,it gave a ping in my head,i got super worried,regretful.....i just wanted to embrace you right away,reassure you that i would never go anywhere.

Then i get a screenshot sent of you saying to Megyhs that youre gonna do "a tactical death and give Megyhs your twitch". Thats when i really got scared of losing you,and i became even more desperate of getting you to talk to me!

CANT YOU SEE IT???!!!!!! *Smacks my own head real hard* If you only used your head for a tiny bit,instead of being soo stuck up in your own onesided imagination of me all of a sudden.

We both went into our relationship knowing about us both having mental health issues. I treated you and that fact with the outmost respect! I only stomped abit in the salad 1 time over a half a year period,and i have not stopped punishing me over going on 2 weeks straight now,for that massive blunder.

I should have never talked to you that morning,how harsh it sounds i should have made sure that i was more lightheaded first.

But now knowing how you are not only on another guy already,but you do the exact same things together in discord that we used to do etc,makes it obvious to be soo much more then just a joke that your excuse was on the "hang out Approach" stream.

Its like you defintly had this planned. You even did a full 180 on the emotes we spent so much time planning,only thing you kept was your Stitch theme. Everything else you got wrid of real fast.

Yeah....you were never as invested in the relationship as i was.

Only reason im able to write this,is because i actually tried to eat something for the first time in probably a week+s time,and unfortunately i threw it up again,im really messed up over this.....

Because of the vomiting i started shaking uncontrollably,it got soo massive that i thought my heart was gonna stop,then i blacked out (my whole body was shaking uncontrollably) I was exhausted....

I came to myself with a pounding headache,and a back that had locked itself,also being in pain. Yeah,this is the "creep,weirdo and stalker" you described alright....

You know creepers and stalkers shut off theyr emotions pretty well right,as they often got some fucked up mental illnes thing too? They dont care as warmly and passionate about theyr loved one,as i did with you.

Are you proud of yourself now,MissBanshee__? Will you tell your mom that you were in your wrongs to cast these personality traits on me? Nah,i think you thrive being in your position right now.

Interesting how your new sugardaddy is donating all over the place now,to kiss ass and get connections,it all seems very fake. I never hated on him for gifting subs btw,as you wrongfully claimed recently,with your immatured "dodging the actual problem",by taking things out of context. I used him as an example over someone you honestly barely know compared to me,and still you warned me by donating too much money on you,as you had blocked friends in the past who did this.

You wanted to refund me my 10K bits i once gave you,but you said nothing against your new sugardaddy "bestie bestie bestie" after barely knowing them a couple of weeks+,when he not only went over me in bitties in total,but on top of that gifted subs and bought shit from your throne.

Oh yeah,i have been building my case alright. I dont care much for your lame excuses anymore. You cant wiggle your way out of these facts.

One of your community members has even impersonated me,trying to make it sound like i called you ugly. HAH! Look at my twitter reply to this very thing. I always defended you,even now when you turned me into an emotional mess,and im barely clinging onto life really.

And i told you this was gonna happen,if i ended up falling for you,and you shut me out of your life or stabbed me in my back/in my heart....

But you still did.....

I got my blame to take for this argument leading up to it,where i wish i kept a clear head,loved you and agreed to us spending time together. Instead of suffering,losing my cool.....then deciding to take a breather on my own,where the plan was to make you happy again the next morning. It all sounded soo easy in my head.....then that morning came,and i wasnt myself at all.

But you didnt exactly help.....when you saw me in that state of mind,you should have said "Babe,i love you!" or "Babe,are you okay?".

Those works as "pings" in my head,i manage to shift focus/break out of the pattern and by focusing on you still loving me,i will also focus on giving you my love. And i start feeling better.......

But you expected me on your "hang me out to dry stream",to do it all by just asking for reassurance? Has it ever occured to you,that my mind doesnt function like that whenever im that "messed up"?

It doesnt happen often thankfully,thats why i often kept my distance abit. Not to be an asshole,but i wanted to protect you incase i bursted out something spontaneous i later on regret.

You seemed totally fine with it,the few times it happened and i managed to avoid us having missunderstandings over it.

And btw,Mei/Meijika offered herself/himself (i dont know if theyre all an act or what,but several people do question this individual) to reach out to you on my behalf,AFTER i had reassured them that they didnt have to do anything on my behalf.

They said they had thought it over,and offered out of the blue to write you. Thats when i first hesitated knowing how you had treated me up till that point,but then my head was like "maybe another female manages to reach in to my love?". But her reply back to me an hour later,told me that you had been seriously pissy at her,telling her that it was none of her buisness..... But she offered herself.....lets make that perfectly clear.

She then goes onto asking me to never contact her again (lol,she was the eager one to add me in the first place,calling me boo constantly,wich ill come back to in a sec)

I know how much you disliked Meijika according to yourself and your history with her,and next thing i know,shes constantly in your streams,calling you BOO and asking if you got room for her.......

You are soo easy to expose..... I hate that i feel soo much for you still.

But its finally time,to make that difficult standpoint once and for all. If i die i die,but at least i made the best closure for myself.

I will let my soul,my brain and body take the time they need to get over you,and then i wont be looking back,ever! I will stop having my door open for you to come back,because you obviously didnt invest as much into our relationship as i did,and you have had a complete change of character,how you run your streams,how you let people you hated become your VIPs and literally SPAM chat wildly.

Talk about a immatured chaos. I would think it was run by one of your younger siblings and not you,who i thought i got to know over soon half a year.

I will always cherish our memories,because they gave me a fake feeling of finally meeting THE ONE for me,and i looked forward into creating TONS of more situations and experiences like that. I thought i had finally found happiness,a purpose in life......but looking at us now,how one constantly tried for the longest to get his loved one back,or at least to talk to him again,if only for a little while,was met with a cold,aggressive,destructive wall of silence.

And after that,direct personal attacks,from someone that should know me better then so. (And now people that constantly made you freak out before stream if they messaged you,is also VIPs and screen mascots...HOW ABOUT THAT!)

And before you try to excuse that away with "people do change": Do they really change that much in 1 or 2 weeks? And most importantly: WHERE THE FUCK WAS MY CHANCE??!!! You literally unblock/take back guys/community members that has treated you way waaay worse then me!

For the first time im just gonna say it,respectfully: You were not worthy of my time,MissBanshee__! I loved you waaaay more then you loved me! Remember? I always told you "i love you moar",because i meant that shit. You started copying me,but just to tell me what i wanted to hear.... I figured you out in the end,you became good at "telling me what i wanted to hear",just not when it mattered the most.

Like avoiding that argument leading you into blocking me.

Nope,just blame it all on me,one who doesnt have that much more life experience then you have,i told you all about that too. Strange,how easily you chose to forget about certain things,and angle and nitpick on other things,as you claim me to be.....

Takes 1 to know 1 i guess......... Not until i begged people not to go after you and disrespect you,be mean to you,did you do a similar thing in your horrendes "Approach stream".

You loved to pick on a man almost out of energy for theyr writing skills/english,did i ever go at you for your messed up way of writing? No,im not petty like that..... So why the fuck did you?

I could keep going,but im feeling drained again,drinking alot of liquid is all i do in the heat. I feel like i could sleep for a thousand years,but everytime i try i cant.....

This song once described what i would do for you daily,and what you meant to me. Let me ask again: Is this the feelings and thoughts of a stalking,creepy weirdo?! So i watched you after you blocked and banned me? I FUCKING LOVED YOU,AND I SEEKED ANSWERS,COMFORT AND REASSURANCE!! It makes me fucking upset that some people act as dumb as this,just so they can throw more toxicity in there,and destroy another humanbeing COMPLETELY!!! I hope you and your mom is truly proud of yourselfs!

And before you get all agrovated and wants to jump in my throat for involving her: YOU INVOLVED YOUR OWN FUCKING MOM AGAINST ME,ON A FUCKING STREAM WATCHED BY ALMOST 300 PEOPLE!!

TF IS WRONG WITH YOU??! Yeah,im over you alright.......

And way to go to completely copy Rkive with your "new viewers,dont be shy/scared,say hello heart heart heart". Could you be anymore fake? PLEASE.... FINITO!

One final thing: You claimed you had read every single article,blogpost. But i call horseshit,because if you actually read it with interest,you would have felt sorry for shutting me out cold,you would have felt guilt yourself,and you would have done more to win me back yourself,at least the MissBanshee__ i once knew or thought i knew. I doubt you will ever read this last post either,so this is a final goodbye. Please do me a favor though,stick to your own click of communities. I dont have much left,and the only 2-3 streams i feel like i can relax somewhat in,you constantly come barging into.

Gimme some fucking space!

[180oz]

wanted to start posting updates of my life even though nobody is really reading 😫. ive been having a really tough time and i need some positivity in my life to look back on when i feel down or unmotivated. I just want to stop being scared of the world and start taking better actions i can feel proud of 🥺❤️

im actually kind of excited, which i dont feel often!? 2024 feels like its going to be my year. i want to take care of myself and really work on my mental health which needs a lot of love and pampering and big hugs and smooches right now muah 😘

sometimes i forget that i am only 24 and that my life shouldn’t be given up on just yet. I always had this lingering feeling that i would die early based on my mental state or something else happening. even if i was to die early, i want to know that i lived a good life even if it was for a couple of years. i would rather die knowing that i accomplished some very cool things ive always wanted to do than die knowing i stayed the same person for the rest of my life. i want to die happier than i was last year or today.

some small things i want to do this year (some of them will sound very silly and miniscule):

1. bake something from a recipe i saved on youtube

2. post more art on tumblr, especially my OCs and fan art of shows i used to enjoy. learn more art tricks and tips so i can replicate the way i exactly imagine my art to be like !!

3. find a good job for the summer, hopefully one that is full time and i can make good connections and money with 🥺

4. finish this semester knowing i did my best to go to the library and study as much as i can! hopefully pass with a 3.8 overall (i have never gotten over a 3.1 overall since i started university a couple years ago…so lets see where this goes

5. find something i’m very passionate about as i get close to finishing my degree.

6. do more activities with current friends and make new friends

7. make some cool nail art with my polygel nail kit

8. move out of campus dorms and into an apartment with friends this year.

9. start writing again and work on my webcomic

10. learn japanese again so i can visit my friends in japan and impress them with how much ive improved!!

11. learn front end development

12. eat healthy full meals instead of skipping them and snacking throughout the day

13. be the positive happy and kind girl i miss being! ever since i had started going to uni here, my attitude has gotten worse and i feel like i am a bit too mean and sensitive now, but no more of that !

14. get my learners!

15. grow and pamper my lovely natural hair

i dont think this is all but i think its a good start while i make an official goals list for 2024💪🏾

[pesterloglog]

Jane Crocker, Jake English

Act 6, page 4208-4217

gutsyGumshoe [GG] began bothering golgothasTerror [GT] at 11:40

GG: J, how goes the bunnyquest?

GT: Ive barely even begun!

GG: Tell me about it.

GT: Youre off to a sluggish start then too i gather?

GG: Dad has the whole house in full fatherly lockdown mode. Talk about blowing a few measly "assassination attempts" way out of proportion!

GG: So I'm currently mulling over my next move.

GG: What is it that has you hamstrung? Did you ever track down the slippery Mr. Strider?

GT: Not exactly.

GT: His stupid doppelglasses have set me on a wild goose chase to go pry his dumb robots chest open and swipe its uranium.

GG: Sounds dangerous!

GT: No shit.

GT: I think id rather deal with the monsters.

GG: Why is it that our two best friends in the world always seem to place themselves at the source of all our problems, while simultaneously presenting their only solutions?

GT: I know right???

GG: I'm debating whether or not to enlist his help in the matter of my current imprisonment. But I'd rather keep it as a plan of last resort.

GT: Dont do it jane its a trap!!!

GG: We'll see.

GG: So I take it you're out and about now?

GT: Hell no. I spent so much time haggling with those confounded shades im only leaving my room just now.

GG: Right. Well, not to keep you too long, since we both still have our missions ahead of us, but I wanted to tell you about that dream I had.

GT: Oh yeah!

GT: I was curious about that. Tell me everything and make it snappy!

GT: *Whips up bucket of freshly popped corn.*

GG: Hoo. :B

GG: Ok, but, I should say that the nature of the dream was a bit worrisome.

GG: And I'm concerned it may have implications for the game we're about to play.

GG: So it's probably best that I tell you about it before you leave.

GT: Well shoot.

GT: Ok then lay it on me jane.

GG: I woke up on the planet which we have been told about by our mutual acquaintance.

GG: The one covered in golden cities. Prospit, remember?

GT: Oh. Wouldnt it be prospits moon?

GG: Yes, you're right. It was the moon, actually. I could see the planet on the dark horizon.

GG: I was dressed in a golden dress, like a sort of nightgown, and I could fly. I left my bedroom, which was at the top of a tall tower. Surrounding me were the gold cities, just as described.

GG: Behind the skyline was darkness. But just above was a bright blue sky and puffy white clouds.

GT: That was skaia!

GG: Yes, probably.

GG: Are you sure you haven't woken up there before?

GT: Haha i WISH.

GT: I have received reports from jade about this as well. She liked to talk about her dreams on prospits moon a lot.

GG: I see. The impression I have developed is that this is supposed to be a real place, and all who dream there have shared experiences.

GG: Did Jade ever mention seeing us there?

GT: No but why would she? This was long before we were born! She was dreaming there like a hundred years ago or something.

GG: Hrmm. Anyway...

GG: I explored the moon, and began to notice people gathering in the streets.

GG: But they weren't human. They were funny looking, perfectly white creatures.

GT: Yeah those are prospitians.

GT: They have these hard carapace shells and also have something to do with chess i think?

GG: Well, I don't know if they had much to do with chess here.

GG: The more closely I observed, the more they appeared somewhat despondent.

GT: Like...

GT: Sad?

GG: Yes.

GG: I determined they were in mourning, actually.

GT: Hey.

GT: Jane you said i was in this dream. Where do i come in?

GG: Shoosh! I'm getting there.

GG: More and more Prospitians were filing out of the buildings every moment.

GG: They all began to form a single, major procession.

GG: When I got closer, I could see that some were in tears.

GG: I realized this was a funeral.

GG: I heard whispers, but couldn't make out what they were saying, so I got closer.

GG: They were all saying the same thing, over and over.

GG: "The Page is dead."

GG: "Our hope is lost."

GT: The page?

GT: Whos that?

GG: Jake.

GG: The Page was you.

GT: Oh.

GT: Drat.

GT: Are you sure?

GG: Yes, I saw your body lying in a sort of coffin, on a bed of flowers. You were dead as a doornail.

GG: Everyone was so distraught!

GG: Including me. :(

GG: But before I could get too horribly upset, let alone make sense of any of it, I woke up.

GG: I of course immediately wanted to tell you all about, but it was still well before sunrise for you, and you were surely still asleep.

GG: Then as the day went on I guess I became distracted by other things. You know how it is.

GG: I hope I'm not too late to "warn" you, though to be frank I don't have the foggiest clue what it is I'm warning you about.

GG: "Dear Jake, oh please do try not to... have already... died in my dream? Likely while you were sleeping, perhaps peacefully?"

GT: Haha yeah. I see your point.

GG: Still, I think you'll agree that it's to be viewed as a troubling omen.

GG: I care very much for you, and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you both in my dreams, and here in this world.

GG: So for whatever good it does, just please be extra careful out there today!

GT: Roger that janey!

GT: And um same goes for you about being careful what with these various rogues accosting you with foul play lately and whatnot...

GT: Because well i sure do care a lot about you too you know that.

GG: Hooray! Will do. ;B

GG: Now let's get this silly old adventure off to the races before the coat of dust it's growing gets any thicker.

GT: Booyeah!

GT: Ok good luck jane and keep me posted! C ya.

golgothasTerror [GT] ceased bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG]