#im absolutely fucking sick
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EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF EVERYTHING THAT CLIP OF NIWAKUNI??? MY WHOLE FUCKING HEART
the way niwa smiles at kuni
how kuni looks at niwa and smiles
JFC the way kuni just touches the hot iron and niwa immediately grabs his hand and blows on his finger
#genshin impact#niwa#kabukimono#niwakuni#IM SOBBING CRYING FROWING UP ON THE MF FLOOR#im absolutely fucking sick#gods them THEM THEM
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i need help with vet bills (again).
hi. for those of you who remember, earlier this year i asked for donations to help me afford toos' vet bills, who we found out through your help had kidney failure, and again with your help we got her on medication for it. unfortunately it wasn't enough, and we lost her. and then shortly after, dexter began deteriorating, which we put down to his grief of losing toos - she kept him young, he followed her everywhere, he only played because of her, he only ate when she ate, etc. without her he just stopped. and then he started to have seizures and fits daily. we got him blood tests, but he was suffering so badly. we made the decision to put him down. i didn't ask for donations this time, because i was so deeply embarrassed to ask for help again. but we are still recovering financially from that, as well as the parts of toos bills that didn't get covered from donations. my mother hasn't worked for a very long time, she's disabled and very sick, and she receives PIP from the government that only covers her monthly medications that are not covered by the NHS. my father retired early to become her full time carer, and we are living off his pension. i am too disabled to work, but because my mother already receives PIP and i live with them, the government are resistent to giving me any help - so i have zero income, and rely entirely on my parents.
this is jenny. she's a 14 year old cairn terrier, who loves when we garden because she wants to help dig holes. she helped us bury dexter and toos, digging their graves for them with my dads help. she's an angel, and loves people so much she likes to escape under the fence and join other families for awhile. one time she got into someones back garden and asked to come in as they were eating lunch. she really hates flies, and will try to bite them out of the air (she has never succeeded but i believe she will one day). she will rub her face against you until you start stroking her, and will growl and even bark if you stop! we don't have the money to take jenny to the vets, for a checkup or for anything they may want to do. this has been an ongoing issue, but toos and dexter took priority, and it hasn't been a bother to her. she existed as normal for a long time, but that's since changed.
jenny has this lump in her mouth, it is larger than the picture shows, but she is a nightmare to force open her mouth since this got so big, i think it's uncomfortable or painful for her. she can't properly close her lips now, and it has pushed all her front teeth away, misshaping her mouth, and sometimes it bleeds profusely. eating has become difficult for her, she can't eat anything hard, and currently will only eat soft human foods like rice, scrambled egg chopped up so small she doesn't have to chew, and things like soups and gravy. she's lost a lot of weight, and i'm getting frightened. to add onto it, i've found lumps like this across her body. i've done as much research as i can, and i believe it to be an oral tumor, it fits, and it looks right, and it spreading across her body is called 'full staging'. and going by all i've read - they will want to remove them in surgery. according to my research, this will cost anywhere from £585 - £4,740 for just the lump in her mouth. that's not including any checkup/test costs, or the other lumps on her body.
she hasn't been to the vet yet, i don't have any secure goal or bills to share, just my assumptions and beliefs from researching myself online. my parents refuse to take her because we can't afford it. i want to save up money, have it in my bank, and show them that we can help her now, before it gets worse, or it's too late. as i said before, i don't have any income, so the only way i can do this is with help.
here's a link to my paypal.me
the icon is a little mouse, and the @ is rivellon
i struggled so badly posting the first post like this for toos. i felt so guilty and embarrassed and ashamed. but i have no choice again, i want to help jenny. i don't want her to suffer. and selfishly, i can't handle losing another dog so soon. this year has been waking nightmare, and i need your help to stop it getting even worse.
please reblog and share, even if you can't donate.
thank you for reading.
#animal illness#animal sickness#pet illness#pet sickness#vet bills#vet help#i don't really know what to tag this as. i don't remember what i did before#and i don't want to go look for my toos post because it will hurt so bad to see it i think#im on hiatus because i cant deal with this and be here right now. but im gonna queue/schedule this a bit i think#im sorry for asking for help again. but please consider helping jenny. she's so lovely#and she's keeping me alive right now#losing toos and dexter ripped me to shreds and shes the only reason i havent completely broken down#i am absolutely terrified of what will happen if we lose her too#god i feel so fucking guilty. i can't stop fucking crying. i hate this so much#im so sorry guys. please reblog and consider donating even a tiny amount#tiny amounts add up yknow#anyway . i should post this now instead of hiding in the tags
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ok but has anyone considered: glowy eyed Emerald Trio . upgrades people
#now that... flapjack is part of hunter#i like the idea that he will be able to do some golden magic like his flashstep#i think its very neat AND i get to draw more glowy yellow things so i win both ways!#i did this instead of finals! FUCK#guys im sick im not gonna draw anything for a bit (has the most intense craving to draw toh in weeks")#stares out my window. this was supposed to be a doodle.#pulls up a folding chair and sits in it with my head hanging to my knees#the owl house#toh fanart#toh#my art#willow park#gus porter#hunter toh#hunter noceda#pov youre belos and youre about to get absolutely obliterated. theyre gonna get some revenge ig
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I'm so happy to see you getting close to your goal for your new PC (and Veilguard). I shared your sale w all my friends bc you have some genuinely wonderful art AND it's going to a good cause (romancing hot Dragon Age Babes in your area). Much love, wishing you get all the funds in time <3
THANK YOU SO INCREDIBLY MUCH
AND AN UPDATE: I DID!!!!!
#IM SO FUCKING EXCITED I CRIED WHEN I GOT IT TO TURN ON#GUYS YOU DONT UNDERSTAAAAAAND#pc gaming has been such a pipe dream for me like absolutely unattainable until now#i’m literally so excited i’m shaking#IM DOWNLOADING BALDURS GATE LMFAO PREPARE TO BE SICK OF ME#thank you so much for your support everyone i cannot WAIT to be annoying about veilguard#answered
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i wish all people who use others' art as a means for financial profit a very fucking kill yourself. i mean it.
#just found out that this one motherfucker was making my skk art into stickers on redbubble and selling them online? with success?#like they were actually making a fucking money from it? money that should be directed towards ME bc those were MY blood sweat and tears#that went into the work. MY talent and skill and experience that i have cultivated over the years to produce something#where does one get the fucking audacity to even COMPREHEND DOING this#i am literally bitter beyond words. absolutely seething with anger#i just. i have no words. this a new level of vile#bsd fandom is absolutely HORRID when it comes to miscrediting and stealing and just overall treating artists like SHIT#i NEVER had a reposting issue when i was in genshin. or persona. or anything else ever#but NOW i have to deal with every other ask in my inbox being like “oh lotus your art was reposted :(”#IM SO FUCKING SICK OF IT
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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they called utah awfully quick. froze my ass off outside with covid (i wore a mask obvi) to vote. oh well, at least i got the sticker
#gpoy#my face#thats a pantsuit btw. super deep and silky pockets. got it secondhand for an absolute steal#im sick as hell rn and my hair is fucked but i gotta post vote sticker selfies#partially out of tradition and partially so no one can yell at me if harris loses. i did my part
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okay something ive been curious about is how people feel about their self harm scars. because mine are really important to me and I honestly feel love for them, and i enjoy when they are visible.
also this includes people who have any kind of permenant mark from self harm. and tbh if you have only self harmed in a way that leaves temporary marks then feel free to answer this too, or if you used to have some but now they aren't visible
#also this is not bc i get a lot of compliments on them#lord knows almost every member of family has said Something about them & my mother made me cry the first time she saw them#but they are important to me and i feel comforted by them#they feel like something very personal & smth thats truly my own#i absolutely do not blame people for having any sort of reaction towards theirs#my cousin has been getting his covered by REALLY fucking sick tattoos n im very happy for him#im just curious bc i dont feel like ive ever seen someone talk about their relationship w their scars in a way that feels similar to mine#m.#self harm tw
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The Hofas bonus chapter fulls me with so much rage like hello cassian fucking get off ur ass and do something??? Like ur gonna wait for a literal HUMAN stranger to defend ur mate (no hate to ember i love her sm) before u do it urself😭😭 where is the fucking logic??
Also i can’t help but question (i literally dreamed this last night) : Would Rhysand ever let Cassian speak to Feyre the way he speaks to Nesta????!!!!!
#no he absolutely would not#Rhys would skin Cassian alive#so why tf is cassian just standing there!!??#someone defend my girl#im so fucking sick of this#she didnt even do anything wrong#they can’t say shit the mask only answers to her#i just want to sucker punch them#i am filled with so much rage i could level mountains#anti rhysand#anti inner circle#pro nesta archeron#anti cassian#sjm critical#inner circle critical#god i HATE rhysand#like stfu u fucking narc#hofas bonus chapter#fuck rhysand#rhysand critical#nesta archeron
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I can't wait for this to come back!!! >>> when is this coming back?
#seriously there has been such an uptick recently in people asking me about my hiatus#I KEPT GETTING SICK#FOR NO REASON#BECAUSE OF OVERWORK...#like literally without exaggeration once a month minimum knocked flat on my ass for multiple days#and mysteriously since being on hiatus hmmmm#it hasnt been happening hmmmmmm#almost like making LIKE 50 PAGES A MONTH#is a little too much work!#for anyone!#no amount of time saving texhniques makes that less work#and I'm trying to make it a satisfying conclusion#which takes more time#and I'm trying to write as much as possible before coming back#as much as webtoon will let me#because twice now ive had to write and produce episodes week to week#and it absolutely destroys the quality of the arc#in my opinion#it at least makes me less satisfied#and whats the fucking point of spending thousands of hours on something#if im being forced into a schedule that. when i get to the end. im not even satisfied with what ive done.#so seriously like please#I'm trying to be as transparent as i can possibly be without outright spoiling everything im writing#its good#it's fun#it will take time to be those things the rest of the way through#ive finished three episodes and I'm halfway through two more#i have 13 episodes thumbnailed#and i have 22 more episodes to write and thumbnail#because webtoon said i need to make it fit exactly into that space
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look at them having a completely normal non-manipulative friendship what good friends they all are. look at those happy smiles and ignore the red lines im sure the red has no symbolism at all hahaha
#qsmp#jaiden fanart#took a few days to figure out exactly what i wanted to do with this and im really happy with where it turned out :]#i normally dont put so much effort into a piece but i wanted a cool new banner#my fave detail is absolutely the little bits of red though#if you look very closely there's a little bit of red in the cucus smiles and eyes#(and a little bit of red on the arm behind cucurucho's back- hiding evidence)#and the red that emphasizes jaiden's smile is extra bright red#enjoy the island etc etc#i dont normally use texture backgrounds or leaf brushes but i totally get why people do holy crap they're SICK#the perfect lil bit of background noise hehe#i had a lot of trouble with the colours until i put a greyscale filter on everything and realized that jaiden's values blended her into#the bg. it got a whole lot easier when i paused to figure out the values and then added the colour#overall i think im happiest with jaiden's face though she just. she looks so happy#but that fucking red.....#okay tag ramble over godspeed nerds remember that if your colours look fucked up you may just need to experiment with the values#shape draws
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i seriously need more narumi and mina moments because just imagine the relief mina felt when narumi joined, similar age to her and was also considered a prodigy in the force.
to have someone to share the burden of the defence force’s future with must’ve felt so freeing. because before he joined it was just her, age 18, being told that she was going to change kaiju extermination with her exceptional synergy with firearms. and she was so, so scared.
narumi doesn’t have the kind of skills or talent for long range combat like she does, but he’s also a top candidate (despite his behavioural issues- which aren’t much of a hinderance anyway) and mina doesn’t have to carry the burden of the future alone anymore
(although she’d never admit, given she probably views narumi as someone completely shocking i just think it’s so funny how she stood there like O_O when she first saw him)
like i LOVE seeing the contrast. mina who was sent onto the battlefield for the first time and was deathly afraid vs narumi who was sent out and immediately took action because that’s how he always lived (fighting)
and now they’re the top two strongest captains in the force and they will be the ones to lead the new generation..
#egg boils#IM SOOO BONKERS SORRY THEYRE MY FAVES I WANT THME TO HAVE AN IMPACT ON ESCH ORHEF SO FUCKING BAD.#consider this: narumi teaches mina to be less serious. to stop holding onto the burden of others and her team mates and Fight because she#wants to. hold onto ur weapon clench ur teeth because you WANT to be here and protect lives and not because You feel like you have to ashir#and mina teaches him abt team work and yes you can work along but And maybe having to consider ur team members IS burdensome for u but isnt#it nice to have someone watch ur back? for someone to Help you narumi#please please show me how they’ve influenced each other I KNOW DAMN WELL THEY HAVE. I INOW IT. matsumoto please.#i will never be over mina and how genuinely AFRAID she was#ashiro mina my absolute beloved#narumi tells mina to stop being so freaked out all the damn time because you have your team mates don’t you?! always talking my ear off abo#about team work but you can’t even trust your own comrades?!#mina tells narumi that HE keeps acting recklessly because he doesn’t trust his team mates either!!! they’re perfectly capable too#ohhhhh i’m sick im sick i want mina to knock some sense into narumi and vice versa i want them to be the reason they trust their units to#SUCH a degree now. i want them to be the reason why they stand for their men so strongly (narumi immediately pouncing on no.9 when he showe#kikoru isao’s face. mina’s anger and appreciation when her unit stood their ground against no10.#mina#narumi#kaiju no.8#they’re my top two of course i’m making this shit up. i need it so bad bside please please please#i know she grit her teeth and got used to be alone when she subjugates from the roof top but CONSIDER narumi the delinquent but extremely#capable recruit being the one to show her how to live less in fear#i need a tag for them#don’t be stupid#okay that’s it that’s my tag#kn8 spoilers#sorry again. tagging for myself#narumina
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Did I ever share this btw? I forgot because EVERYTIME i see this it’s like a self inflicted punch to the gut I’m not finishing this for a long time I wanna paint it on separate canvases
It’s like top left to bottom left to top right to bottom right and it makes me ILL!!!!
Anyways silly sketch I did awhile ago to cope with comms of me and garroth based off the Scott pilgrim thing
#jinks art#mcd#aphblr#minecraft diaries#mcd garroth#minecraftdiaries#sketch#self insert#me and garroth#absolutely sickening#are we soulmates in every universe#are we even soulmates in this one#IT FUCKS ME IP IT FUCKS ME IPPPPP#DO TOU UNDEESTAND ME IM SICK Anywyas Go Look at my oc art while I take a nap
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headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again
#this headcanon has no purpose im just thinking of scorpius in bed like a sickly victorian child with scarlet fever or something#asking if he'll make it to sunrise lmfao#so then he hates hospitals with a passion#my friend from school was in them constantly he was even a make a wish kid and he can not fucking stand the places so#headcanon scorpius becomes a healer anyway lmao#im sick and this is how im coping by putting baby scorp in hospital lmfao#it just made draco that little bit more protective#lucius made an insensitive comment about it once and draco was ready to throw hands#this headcanon doesnt really go anywhere ive just decided scorpius was a sick child#he has sick child energy lmfao#he still knows some of his doctors/healers because he was there so frequently#just imaging lil scorp in a hospital bed and draco and astoria are sleeping in the room on like uncomfortable chairs and the fever finally#breaks and hes like uh daddy im hungry and its like 4am but draco couldnt care less cause scorp hasnt been able to eat anything for days#let alone ask for food directly and baby scorp is wondering why his parents are acting so damn weird just cause he asked for some toast#but once hes grown up whenever he gets sick its on such a lower level than what it used to be when he was a kid because his immune system#got better that he struggles to gauge when other people would usually stop trying to do daily activities and albus has to start wrestling#scorpius back to bed instead of going to class cause scorpius really youre practically dying and hes like pfff you wanna see dying? use tha#timeturner one more time and go back to see me at literally any point between 2 and 10 i am FINE#(he absolutely was not fine)#scorpius malfoy#albus potter#draco malfoy#hpcc#scorbus#this is so many tags im so sorry
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chocobros vs the mystic (joint slay)
#creations#gifs#games#final fantasy xv#ffxv#ff15#final fantasy 15#square enix#gladiolus amicitia#prompto argentum#ignis scientia#noctis lucis caelum#all i can think of looking at the one where ignis is sending them in is that fucking meme thats like TEAR X APART!#anyway yes#their joint slay the absolute slayage of this#the whole kings of yore segment i was MICHELLE VISAGE DOT GIF what an experience#i will be trying to gif their seperate slays against the kings i will just hav to hunt for a nice video with the subs taken off like this o#im going to link the video in the source bc gifs do not do justice for how SICK it is#i was going to say sth else but#it is 3am and it has escaped me#o yeah i was going to complain abt promptos AP bar not being in the middle. it hurts me#whatever im done they r the coolest i lov them sm
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the secret to happiness is doodling something catered to You Specifically. one second you're normal the next you're biting your own arm
#ouaghasfaifadkj WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#having a great time rn#barnaby/eddie/howdy is affecting me more than i thought it would#its soooooo surface level but WHO CARESSSSS IM EXPERIENCING JOY#literally have to pause to bite my hand/arm tho its making me insane#sometimes happiness is drawing a puppet sandwiched between two bigger puppets & getting smooches from Both#delight delight delight De-fucking-light!!!!#happy chemicals in my brain!!! hello! i have not seen you in Days!!!#slamming my face into a wall but in happiness#absolutely unprompted#ouuugasahgshagfshaksjas#the ship is Not That Deep but its so Ough yk#pure indulgence!!!#again!! catered to Me Specifically!!!#im feeling so indulgent that i will treat myself to takeout tonight#i do not have it in me to cook#and im sick of canned soup & microwave meals!!!#sushi tonight babey!!! bento box!!#ill even force myself to do the rancid dishes ive been putting off for nearly a week#that will make the takeout even More of a treat!#i will feel more deserving of it and less Guilty!
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