#im a shitty writer
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Lancelot: How have you been? I feel like you recently acted a bit... strange
Merlin: I have no idea what you're talking about
Lancelot: So nothing is happening? Something for which you act like this?
Merlin: No, no, a lot of things happen all the time so I have no idea what you mean by "recently"
#and give this man a break#Someone told me that Merlin sweats as if a bucket of water had been thrown over him#And I'm not surprised when this man goes from one pole to the other doing everything in Camelot#incorrect merlin quotes#incorrect quotes#humor#funny#sarcastic#bbc merlin#merthur#merlin emrys#ao3#merlin bbc#merlin#merlintv#the adventures of merlin#sir lancelot#amazing lancelot#lancelot du lac#the knights of the round table#camelot#arthurian#fandom#multifandom#reccs#writing#fic writers#txt.mine#shitty post#im bad at tags
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the average acotar fans r so boring. like wdym you have no concept of media literacy or complex characters. Why does everything have to be spelled out for you? I have never seen such a flat and lowkey boring male character receive so much love (rhysand) when he does the bare minimum and also. SUCKS.
#and then they shit on tamlin likers#like im sorry i can look past a characterâs 2 bad deeds and acknowledge he was destroyed by the narrative#but god forbid i look at the performative feminist and go nah#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#tamlin#pro tamlin#sarah j maas#rhysand#sjm#anti rhysand#feyre#sjm critical#i mean sjm is kinda a shitty writer so its not completely rhys fault#theres no nuance theres no complexity theres no FLAVOR
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These shits own my brain, one of them more than the other.
Looking at you Augustine. Get out of my head. /j
#cold front#Augustine Orlov#winnie bosko#your honour i love them#cold front game#studio investigrave#pssssst fanfic writers you should totally go and write more cold front fics because theres only about 4 really good ones#the rest are shitty unfinished oneshots#ive read all of them.#im desperate#please#ratkingart#digital art#hell yeah
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alfajores
AN - the poll I put up the other day won out with fluffy pedro/reader and I'm working on a request I got for it but it's taking me a hot sec, so have this one that I already have written to hold you over :) hope you enjoy!
word count - 2,900+
rating - teen
content warnings - no warnings, just fluff!
summary - you decide to surprise pedro for his birthday on set with some help from bella (ao3 link if you prefer, it's titled pedrito over there :) )
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you worry too much
You hit send, tucking your phone quickly between your thighs as you tried to relax, eyes trained on the window outside as the plane started to pull back from the jetbridge. You were never much of a liar, but you hoped desperately that you could pull this one off somehow.Â
Your phone buzzed. A text from Pedro, no doubt.
Mi amor, thatâll be four shifts this week. You need a break :(Â
You couldnât help the smile that it brought to your face, knowing that he had no idea that youâd be seeing him so soon.Â
Iâll survive. Busy is good. Now go film some cool shit, tell Bella I said hi. Iâll text when I can. I love you
Love you more. and no hi for Bella, they ate all my bday cookies.Â
You chuckled to yourself and quickly clicked your phone over to airplane mode. Youâd paid for the inflight wifi so he wouldnât suspect anything if he happened to have enough breaks in filming to text you - he was a worrier at heart, especially when it came to those he loved, and an undelivered text would be enough to put him into a panic.Â
With everything set into motion, you settled back into your seat and reviewed the plan.
Youâd had it in the works for a month. All behind the scenes of course, but youâd gotten everyone in on it that you could. Neil, Craig, Bella, Gabriel - anyone who would be around set. The filming schedule was insane, but you knew that theyâd want Pedroâs birthday to be special, especially since he wasnât able to come home and spend it with you.
In the years that youâd been dating, you had learned he loved a good surprise, though he would never admit it. And even more so, he would never, ever , let anyone make a big deal out of things for him. Even if he played it off for the press about loving the attention, when it came to those close to him he would much rather celebrate those around him than be the one in the spotlight.Â
It was no surprise that they were one hundred percent on board with throwing a bit of a surprise party, with you being the main surprise. The next part of the plan was simple - getting a few days off work had been easy enough, considering Pedro had insisted that you went part time and only worked when you wanted to once he landed another job. It was a luxury that you allowed, considering it meant you got to spend so much more time with him when he was off filming, and even go on the occasional press tour with him.Â
Once the flight was booked and everything else had been arranged, the hard part came - keeping the love of your life in the dark. Pedro was the type of person that you wanted to tell everything to. From the simple things, like the dog in the rain boots that youâd seen on 2nd avenue that morning, to how much you wished you could be together all the time - any thought you had flowed off your tongue so easily to him. He was your safe space, and you were his, which was a cornerstone of your relationship from day one.Â
Thank god youâd only finalized your plan a few weeks ago, or you werenât sure you would have made it.Â
As a cover up, you found a highly rated South American bakery in Vancouver to send some of his favorite cookies and sweets to set, just like the ones his mom used to make when he was young. You sent some flowers too - hydrangeas, spray roses, gerberas - something to warm up the cold Vancouver set heâd been dealing with. Heâd called you that morning from hair and makeup, so grateful and excited. Youâd promised him there was more to come when you could see him in person, which he thought was in three long weeks when there was a small break in scheduling for something Bella needed to do back in London. That seemed to be enough of a birthday present from afar to satisfy him.
You hoped he was still in the dark as you watched the small plane flit across your screen, taking you mile by mile closer to him.Â
It was a long flight from New York to Vancouver. You spent the majority of the time doing something you didnât get to do often on flights - watch something Pedro was in. Majority of the time, if you were on a long haul, Pedro was right beside you and in his true almost 50 year old fashion, heâd break out his headphone splitter and want to watch something with you. Youâd only recently got him to agree to airpods. Obviously, that meant anything he had been in was off limits, so you took the rare chance to go back and watch Narcos - you were only in season two, and you were loving how much screen time Pena was getting.Â
It made you smile hearing Pedro getting to show off in both Spanish and English - heâd taught you quite a bit in your relationship, and you caught quite a few words throughout the episodes that you recognized, though most of the time you were too busy watching him to pay much attention to anything else. God, you would never understand how youâd gotten so lucky.Â
Halfway through an episode, a text popped up on your phone.
This is gonna be so good dude, he is proper clueless.Â
You laughed as you read it in Bellaâs voice. A picture came through next of them holding a small cookie and running away, with a blur that you assumed was Pedro in the back.
Also, pls send more alfajores before he kills me
By the looks of the photo, they were shooting outside of the city still, which was what you had planned for. Pedro had begun a habit of sending you a picture each morning of the set for the day, a way of keeping you involved from afar. It seemed to be the same beautiful landscape as earlier - you hoped he had been having a good day so far.
The rest of the flight went off without a hitch. You texted Pedro once, feigning that you were on break at work, unsurprised that he wasnât able to answer right away, as you knew he was busy.Â
The excitement really started to set in when you touched down in Vancouver. You shot a text to Craig once you landed - it was 7pm local time, and you had about an hour and a half drive to get to set. To your surprise, the crew had insisted that you got the celebrity treatment by association, and had sent you a driver who met you outside of the airport and immediately got you on your way.Â
You made small talk with her until the first and only hiccup of the plan appeared - Pedroâs face popped up on your phone, an adorable picture of him from last summer on your vacation to Hawaii - an incoming facetime call. Of course. He usually called you in the evenings, but it wasnât always a facetime. As much as it killed you, you let it ring through, waiting about five minutes until you returned it with a regular call.
âHi mi amor , everything okay? You off work?â He picked up on the first ring.
âYeah yeah, Iâm good! Iâve got a headache so I took a shower and got straight in bed, sorry I didnât pick up.â It felt so wrong to lie, but you knew it would pay off.Â
âOh no cariño, did you take some medicine? Did the shower help? Thereâs some of that tea I made you last time in the cabinet still, in the purple box.â
âIâm fine love, just need some sleep is all. Guess itâs a good thing Iâm not there to put a damper on your birthday fun,â you teased, grinning to yourself. Your driver let out a tiny chuckle that you caught in the rearview mirror.Â
âWish you were here, headache or no headache,â he sighed. âI miss you.â
âMiss you more.â
â Mentiras. â He said. âLies,â he translated when you didnât contradict him. âI wonât keep you, just wanted to see your pretty face. We can talk in the morning when you feel better, okay? Call me if you need me. I love you.â
âI love you too. Happy birthday Pedro, Iâll call you in the morning.â
âBye amor.â
You hung up, letting your head rest back and your heart flutter as the city began to fade away behind you.Â
One hour later, and you were frantically texting with Bella, attempting to find the best way to surprise Pedro as you arrived on set.
Have your driver drop you off by my trailer, and Iâll sneak you into production stage. Meet you there in five.
You relayed the message and sure enough, Bella came scurrying around the corner, practically tackling you in a hug once they found you. Youâd met them the first time you came to set with Pedro, back in the beginning stages of production during some team bonding time, and you knew how important their relationship was to the both of them.
âDo you think he has any idea that Iâm here?â You asked, following Bella as they led you around the back of a large temporary structure that you assumed was production stage.Â
âNot a single fucking clue. Craig and I have been playing it off all day long, talking about how fun it would be if you were here,â Bella grinned. âI think Neil is bringing out a cake, câmon, we gotta hurry. Heâs probably in his chair, just hang back and sneak up behind him.â
As you rounded the corner, you heard the hum of voices inside and noticed the chairs. Bella gave you a quick thumbs up and hurried around so they didnât draw any attention to you, coming in from a different angle and taking their chair next to Pedro. You spotted Neil first, walking very carefully with a large chocolate cake alit with candles in the general direction of the chairs.Â
Crew began to gather around and you swung to the right so you could blend in but still see Pedroâs face as he realized what was happening. They all began to sing and you watched the adorable blush spread across his cheeks. Bella was filming beside him as he smiled and blew out his candles to the applause of all of the cast and crew - it warmed your heart to see so many people celebrating the man you loved.
They took the cake to a nearby table and began to cut it, passing Pedro his piece first. In all the noise, you seized your opportunity to sneak up behind him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and squeezing gently.Â
âCan I have a bite?âÂ
His eyes blew wide as he craned his neck to try and see who was behind him. You leaned back to help him out, laughing at the pure shock on his face.
âWhat!? What the fuck are you doing here!? Youâre in New York!â He discarded his cake to the side, roughly pushing his chair out of the way to get to you as he stood up all in one move, wrapping you up in his arms. You could vaguely hear applause somewhere behind you but you didnât care. It felt too good to be in his arms after so many weeks, your brain didnât have much space to process anything else.Â
When he finally loosened up it was only to kiss you softly twice on the lips, then once on the forehead before he leaned back and grinned at you.
âYou sneaky little thing.â
âGuess Iâm not in New York,â you teased, popping up on your tiptoes to kiss him one more time before you disentangled from him, leaning over to give Bella a fist bump.Â
âOh you knew about this? Huh?â Pedro asked.
âOf course I knew about it, Iâve known for a month man!â Bella grinned.Â
âOh you see if you make it through a single take tomorrow kid,â he threatened, but they were both laughing.Â
âActually, as a birthday gift, tomorrow is a rest day. Everybody can thank Y/N for that one!â Craig announced, which was met with whooping and cheers from everyone, with a few yells of your name. Pedro pulled you up against his side.Â
âI assume that means youâre spending the night then, eh?â
âNah, figured Iâd just pop in for five minutes and then catch the next flight out,â you grinned, rolling your eyes at him. âIâm here for three days, two nights.â
âNot long enough. Never long enough, but Iâll take what I can get,â Pedro sighed, kissing your hair. âNow get some cake so we can go home.â
Home in Vancouver was a nice apartment that Pedro was renting downtown. After cake was had, final birthday wishes were given and hugs were distributed, Pedro changed back into his own clothes and led you to his rental - an Audi, of course. He opened the passenger door for you and climbed into the driverâs seat, holding your hand as he sped off of set and back towards the city.
It didnât matter that you had just done this drive - he held the back of your hand up to his lips, pressing soft kisses there as he drove down the highway and you couldnât have been more content.
âI cannot believe youâre here right now. I thought I wasnât going to see you for weeks,â he said, shaking his head. He hadnât stopped smiling since you had appeared behind him.Â
âI couldnât leave you alone on your birthday,â you sighed, leaning over and resting your head on his shoulder. It was late New York time, and the adrenaline of the day was beginning to wear off now that you were with your man.Â
âYou can sleep cariño, Iâll wake you up when we get there,â he murmured to you.
âNo, no I'm okay,â you reassured him, but it was already garbled.Â
The next thing you felt were soft lips on your forehead.Â
âWeâre here mi amor. Câmon, let's get you upstairs.â
He helped you out of the car, the lobby lights of the building helping to wake you up a bit as you made it to the elevator. The driver from earlier had put your suitcase in Pedroâs car, and he managed it with ease as well. You stayed tucked up to his side as you headed up to the top floor. He unlocked the door easily, keeping one arm wrapped around you even as you walked through the door, rolling your suitcase into the corner. He kicked off his boots and tossed his keys somewhere, and then he was scooping you up, making you squeal a bit when your feet left the floor.Â
âGod you donât know how many times Iâve thought about you being here lately. Iâve missed you like crazy baby.â He carried you down the hallway and into the kitchen, sitting you down onto the counter. Without asking, he turned and made you a glass of ice water. âDrink. Youâve been on a plane all day.â
You listened to him, grateful for the cool liquid on your dry throat.Â
âI need to go get all this makeup off, but Iâll be ready for bed in five minutes. Meet you there?âÂ
âI could go with you,â you offered, but your words were garbled by the long yawn that immediately followed. Pedro chuckled, kissing your nose.Â
âI donât think I can hold you upright and wash all this grime off at the same time love. Go climb in bed. Stay awake for me, Iâll be there in just a minute,â he instructed, taking you by the hips and placing you on your feet. He didnât let go until he was sure you were steady, and then he disappeared to the bathroom.Â
You didnât even bother going for your suitcase. Instead, you moved to your boyfriendâs drawers, finding his old Lakers shirt. It smelled so much like him that it made you smile as you stripped out of everything but your underwear and pulled it on.Â
You climbed into bed, making yourself sit up so you wouldnât fall back asleep as you listened to the water run in the bathroom, then turn off. Pedro was humming a song as he got ready, and you couldnât help but grin when he emerged only a few minutes later in just his boxers, hair damp and a matching smile on his face.Â
He wasted no time in climbing into bed next to you, immediately reaching over and pulling you right up against him. His hands splayed out underneath your shirt, finding skin as he sighed, pressing his nose up to your neck and breathing you in.
âAhh, mi deseo,â he breathed.
âTranslate,â you whispered, eyes closed as you melted into him, trying to get your skin onto his everywhere that you could. It lit a familiar fire in you that began to burn deep.
âMy wish,â he said. âI wished for you. Today, but also for so long.â
âIâm here. Right here,â you breathed, hands slotting into his hair. His fingers found purchase against your hips, pulling you over and on top of him.Â
âHappy birthday Pedrito.â
âHappy birthday to me,â he grinned, and got to work.
#my writing#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal#pedro pascal writing#pedro pascal fluff#:)#hope you enjoy! my next one has some angst thrown in hehe#and im still working on my javi p one I just have the worst writers block of all time apparently lol#sorry the gif is shitty I threw it together in literally 5 minutes haha
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Vi is gifted kid burnout but in the english major way
#sheâs the best characterization Iâve seen of gifted kid burnout outside of super-genius characters#like. as a burnt out gifted kid by legal designation. she is me#trying to succeed at everything because thatâs what youâre told to do or what you think needs to be done to be worth anything to anyone#being rigid to change because itâs not being done right but at the same time accepting change so long as people stay with you#and also how that ties in with being an eldest sibling#because ik folks love the whole âgifted kid jinxâ thing (not me but yaâll do you) but yaâllâ#YAâLL DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY NEED FOR BURNT OUT ACADEMIC VIâ#because Vi never got the chance to be a kid and learn and grow and find what she actually enjoyed in the world outside of the last drop crew#but look at her. the way she speaks and the way she tried to teach powder the lessons she earned the hard way in the gentlest way possible#in the way she so desperately clings on to people and memories#my girl would be a WRITER#my girl would be writing poetry drunk in her shitty basement apartment after hooking up with a girl#my girl would be writing novellas in prison and getting her degree#because you know she sees the world like a romantic. her world is art and emotion and devotion. to her family. to anything she cares about#i need more literary! student vi. i need more academic vi. i need more grudging debate-team captain vi#i need vi getting her own place and having an extensive book collection that she develops because of the loneliness#Her gkb is going from a leader & soldier to someone who could be useful regardless to someone who is useless & being okay w/ it ->#to being needed again and not knowing how to handle it but knowing she refuses to fuck it up this time#GIVE ME VI W/ MY GIFTED KID ARCCCCCC#this probs makes no sense and is like 4 tangents but Iâll expand on it later âcause im tired#coherency is for losers and the well-rested#vi arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane season two#vi
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destiel fic excerpt - claire kinda tricks dean into going to pride with her
okay i've been in a massive block lately for any writing whatsoever but i'm TRYING to get back into it. mentally i'm just not really anywhere but i would like to be anchored back down into writing mode.
so here's a little bit of the destiel fic i have in progress. it's a dean focused post-15x19 (lol what finale) fix-it that deals a lot with dean's grief. this particular excerpt is quiiiiite a ways in, cas has been dead for almost a year at this point (happy destiel ending guaranteed fam). dean is still absolutely grieving but he's been doing a lot of work.
(warning dean does use the word queer here in a way that's like, halfway between accepting and internalised homophobia - it's not made out to be a big deal in this but i thought it would mention anyways)
***
"I'm not a parade guy, Claire, and I sure as hell ain't a flag waving queer. I'm not - I'm not this." Dean gestures vaguely to the revelry and upbeat atmosphere around him. He feels like a fish on a bike.
Claire shrugs with her whole body. "I don't give two shits what you think you are or aren't, grandpa. Every baby gay needs to attend their first Pride, it's like a right of passage or whatever."
Dean gawks at her. "What the fuck," he sputters. "Baby- did you just call me grandpa and a baby gay in the same sentence? What the fuck is that?"
Claire rolls her eyes like Dean's a fucking idiot. He feels like one right now, in his jeans and flannel with a knife tucked into his waistband, surrounded by rainbow everything and kids making out in those weird napkin tops that don't pass their navels.
She says, "exactly what it sounds like, loser. You're old, but you finally had your big gay realization, it's fresh and shit, erego, baby gay. Reborn a queer, hallelujah."
Dean stares at her like she's speaking another language, but he latches on to one bit that's plain. "Ain't that fresh," he mutters.
Because. Because it's not like Dean never had an inkling he was into dudes as well as chicks before. Not like he never had any tiny lightbulb moments while drooling over Doctor Sexy or being 16 and watching a hunter in his 20s clean a gun in front of him. It's just that every time that lightbulb flicked on, Dean had been very quick and very thorough in burying it 6 feet under like it was a body in a grave after a salt'n burn. Expert, even. Like he was was with real graves. He could go years without that lightbulb resurfacing, and he could forget. He could flirt with women and forget, kiss women and forget, take women back to his motel room when he was 24, haunting small towns all alone, and forget. It was easy. Because women's waists and women's hair and women's voices made it easy. When they pitched their words low and came on to him with confidence and a shadow, a daintier echo of violence than what he was used to, it was easy. What would have been the point inâin anything else?
Nothing. No point.
Until his best friend told him he loved him and his graveyard of buried lightbulbs was flooded, upturned, exposed. Electrified. He sees the bones of every man he ever desired like they're cartoons sticking their fingers into sockets.
Bzzzt. That hunter with his rolled up sleeves, exposed forearms, cleaning his gun while chatting easily to John. Dean sitting there, trying his best to be a part of the conversation, puff himself up like he belonged at the table, 16 in a too-big jacket, a real hunter, a real man, dragging his eyes away from the hunter's hands again and again until he could unfocus them entirely with the beers his dad let him sip.
Bzzzt. A shop teacher of his, once, during a 9th grade stint somewhere in Nebraska. Mr. Callaghan. Showing the class how to use a circular saw, sparks flying, Dean's eyes wide, mouth a little dry.
Bzzzt. Benny in purgatory. Slicing and hacking his way through monsters to get Dean to Cas before they could escape. Dean's weird, twisted up, sickening feelings of - I love you because you know my secret. Because you know I love someone else even though I won't let my own self know. I love you because you have big hands and a big heart and an appetite for blood and because I can bully you into staying, searching, endlessly, for the one. The one I love the most. I love you until I find him and then I still love you a little because you helped make that possible and because you did it for me.
Bzzzt. Cas. Castiel who walked into a barn, sparks again (maybe men are electric and women are grounding, or - fuck, who knows, maybe sparks are just hot) a few days after Dean rose from the dead. Castiel who walked towards him with steady eyes of blue fire and withstood every act of violence Dean could commit against him (or so he thought). Castiel who saw into his soul, maybe not even into it, just the whole scope of it, macro and micro. Cas who shoved him into walls, laid hands over his mouth and a knee between his thighs (accidental?), Cas who spoke to him vulnerably one moment and then disappeared the next, Cas who stared into his eyes and made Dean's chest feel molten, his tongue feel heavy. Cas who wore a stupid trench coat, even when given a fresh start, an opportunity for reinvention. A trench coat Dean grew to hate because of the sheer amount of times he imagined pulling it gently off the angel's shoulders. It always stayed. Dean could burn that fucking coat.
He kept that coat. He carried it. He misses it.
Dean comes to in the middle of a fucking pride parade with the desperate, overwhelming urge to press a coat that he no longer has into his nose. He needsâ
"Earth to fuckin' Dean Winchester," Claire is saying, eyebrow cocked kinda like Cas, which is weird because he doesn't remember Jimmy ever doing that. He guesses he didn't know Jimmy very long though. Maybe he's just seeing Cas wherever he can manage it.
"Sorry, kid," he says lamely. No follow up. He feels the hole and it aches and aches and he needs to get a hold on it before it engulfs him.
"Dean," Claire says gently, and she sounds like she knows where he is. Like she can find him back here among his grief that is so far removed from, and unrelated to the situation.
He looks at her and forces a grin that cracks his face. Painfully. Half rolls his eyes.
"C'mon kid, show me the ropes then," he says. He's here now. Probably wont ever be again, but he's with Claire.
And he loves Claire. Because she reminds him of his not so long ago selfâyoung and angsty and passionate and angry and full of mistakes past, present and futureâand because she reminds him of Cas. Her face, her independence, her stubbornness, her smile. Because Cas loves (loved, Christ) her, even if her feelings towards him might be more convoluted.
She doesn't let him off easy, a trait she kind of shares with both of them.
"Dean... I miss him too".
Years ago, maybe even just months ago, Dean would have rolled his eyes and changed the subject. He would have deflected: "so how do you get on one of those floats" or "why is there so much mesh here" or maybe mouthed the words to You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) right along with the drag queens in the parade without even realising it.
But nowâ
"ClaireâI can't. Not if we wannaâ not if today's gonna be any good."
His voice sounds far away and raw and he feels tears in his eyes even still. Even still after all these months. He wants. Wants Cas back so hard it scalds his insides.
Claire's mouth sets hard and she nods once. There's a grim-feeling cloud around the two of them, a black hole in the middle of this rainbow candy-land ass street block on a sunny day.
And then Claire scares it away. Physically waves it off like she can see it and then plasters a grin on her face that's almost conspiring. She can rally, Dean'll give her that. It's not as if Claire completely fits here eitherâshe looks more like him than she does most of the other revelers. Black tank top, red flannel tied around her waist, black shit kickers. Hunter get-up. But she grabs some stickers from a drag queen that's handing them out and slaps one on her chest - it says "I support gay rights and gay wrongs" on it and the circle behind it is striped orange and white and pink. Dean snorts. He doesn't know for sure what that means but he guesses it's probably for lesbians cause he knows everybody gets their own flag in this world. He's learned that through osmosis at group*.
She grabs his hand and slaps another sticker on the back of it. The circle is blue, purple, and pink, and he does know the bi flag, has figured that one out at least. The words in the centre say "oh no, everyone is so hot".
Dean rolls his eyes so hard he almost throws his neck out. "There's no way in hell you think I'm keeping this on," he says.
"You are keeping it on, old man, and if i see you've taken it off I'll take you to the face painting tent and make them give you full bisexual glam." The threatening tone of her voice contrasts too deeply with the contents of that sentence and Dean huffs out a surprised laugh.
"Oh yeah? How do you think you're gonna make that happen?"
"You're not the only one packing here, Winchester."
Dean keeps the sticker on his hand. Stares at it for a minute, then looks all around him, taking in the colour and the joy like a thing that's not used the sun would. A rodent or a worm. Maybe a monster.
"Don't get me wrong but this doesn't really seem like your scene," he says.
Claire shrugs. "I dunno. Maybe a couple years ago I woulda felt the same. Used to think it was all real frivolous and silly y'know?"
She pauses for long enough that Dean's pretty sure the conversation's over. Finally, she speaks again, just a bit quieter: "But, I kinda figure, I can be more than just one thing, right? I can be a hunter and still enjoy some of the nice shit in life. Frivolous and silly is kinda fun."
She's not wrong. Dean doesn't get a lot of moments to be frivolous and silly, but he takes them when he can. Feels like maybe if he'd been born in an different universe he could've known those feelings full time like they were an engrained part of him rather than just fleeting visitors.
Then Claire says, "you're more than one thing, y'know. You're lots of things"
Dean huffs a little laugh and shakes his head, not really sure what he's denying.
"Don't make me give you a whole rundown on your own personality dude. You're not just some workhorse hunter, you got other stuff. Like, gay shit like this doesn't have to be one of your things. But everything's worth a shot once, right?"
He wants to agree. Thinks maybe he'd like to be a lot of things, but everything is kind of blur right now, has been for a while. What are the things he'd like to be? Like to enjoy?
He shakes his head again, not so much denying as delaying.
"Okay Oprah, what got you so wise?"
Claire smirks. She nudges him forward to follow the parade and says, "the internet mostly."
#*group refers to the late in life come out group i'm making dean go to in this fic hahahaha he's gonna hate it at first đđ»#destiel#destiel fic#rey writes#finale fix it#dean and claire#claire novak#fic snippet#writers block got me sharing shit i've barely proof read so sorry for any mistakes and shitty writing#i'm taking a week long holiday SOON and im soooo hoping i get some inspiration to continue this#or literally any of my other projects that are like 1/100th finished
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Why don't you like Jimmy or Jimmy simps??
Hey darling!
So I don't like Jimmy for.. obvious reasons, but I have nothing against Jimmy simps!!
Let your freak flag fly, I do not care. I just personally don't write for Jimmy as it is a personal thing, but I can always help direct people to writers who do!!
Like for example, and these two are on the top of my head because 1. I love their work and 2. They actually have commented on one of my posts earlier so they're first writers that come to mind
@/jambalaya-enthusiast and @/curly-my-beloved are good ones!! I don't write for Jimmy, but last I checked these two do!! They're amazing writers and you guys should check them out
#im not going to fully tag them because I dont know them personally#but they seem like lovely people and if you have any jimmy x reader requests for Mouthwashing#they are some good ones#I think there might be a few other writers but im not sure..#if anyone knows any more please let me know and I will add their names on here too!!#I dont like jimmy but I have nothing against his simps guys#and by the way I dont really appreciate those âanon was lucky they stayed anonâ comments#because as a writer and a reader it can really suck seeing those comments and thinking theres something wrong with it#like curly is a shitty dude too but I still weite for him I just dont write for Jimmy since its a personal preference#ill stop rambling#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing#mouthwashing horror game#jimmy x reader#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#jimmy x reader mouthwashing
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halfbaked and basic landoscar fic concept where Lando tends bar at a struggling pub recently passed down to Logan and Alex, who reaches out to Loganâs childhood friend Oscar to help save the bar and over the course of several weeks/months/however Oscar and Lando grow closer trying to do their best to save the pub while Sargbon try to set them up
#So like the vision is#Logan and Alex got handed this pub (probably named williams or smth) by a old family friend and itâs pretty in the dumps already#theyâre gonna sell the place until Lando (someone who tended bar under the old owner and is really attached) convinces them itâll be worth#so they call oscar in whoâs working like a shitty 9to5 and has no friends or life outside work#and beg for his help saving this bar#and itâs very hallmarky like the whole town gets together to help save the bar with the rallying of Lando and the genius of oscar#the two obvi get closer together over the course of saving the bar#but hijinks ensue through miscommunication#probably smth like Lando overhears Oscar telling logan he is giving up/going back to shitty 9to5 out of context#when really itâs the opposite#and they fall in love#so oscar ends up running the admin side of the bar while logan alex and lando all work the front of house#fanfic writers im giving you this half baked shitty concept#as a gift#landoscar#mctwinks#oscar piastri#lando norris#logan sargeant#alex albon#sargebon
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revstar fans we need to put on the best talent show this towns ever seen and save ReLive!!
#revue starlight#NOT TAKING THE NEWS WELL AT ALL. MY GIRLS THEYRE TAKING MY GIRLS AWAY FROM ME!#like its been a part of my daily routine for like a year and half now... im not gonna know what to do with myself#i really cant stand all the people being like HAHA EAT SHIT AND DIE GACHA GAME#like i will not defend the gacha aspect. i wish it it did not have to be a gacha. i acknowledge gacha games as a concept suck#but like relive wasnt some souless cash grab gacha game#the writers clearly had real passion for what they were doing. they had stories to share with us in the revue starlight universe#and sadly the way things are shitty gacha game was how they were able to make it possible#and truly it had such amazing stories. like. theres no media quite like rev star. a complete cast of female characters#all of them complex and flawed and getting to have big messy feelings!! and fighting eachother with magic swords about those feelings!!#all the different relationships between them love and rivalry and friendships and sisterhoods all complicated and fleshed out#LIKE IT JUST MEANT MUCH TO HAVE THE STEADY STREAM OF COMPELLING STORIES ENTIRY FOCUSED ON GIRLS#and now its going to be gone. i know theres still all the other revstar medoa and hope they keep doing stuff with the francise#i hope we see the frontier and rinmeikan girls again someday. they honestly had the most moments that made my jaw drop#onward to the next stage#right?#anyways do you get it talent show lol cause theyre stage performers
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Ohhh I am trying so hard not to get mad at people online you have to believe me but that post about bloodborne liking women is driving me a little bit crazy not gonna lie. We can all so clearly see and point out misogyny in ds (um. Im hoping at least) so why can't we ever do it in bloodborne? Even though its the same people? What about bloodborne makes you think theyre feminists all of a sudden. Because it talks about women? Okay, but that's not how that works, a work that disregards women is misogynistic, that much everyone knows, but a work that does talk about women but portray them in a weird light can also very much be. Also whenever people say bloodborne is about women or femininity, a huge chunk of the time what they mean is bloodborne is about motherhood and pregnancy. Which is true, but thats... Not what womanhood is thats not what women are about you can't just reduce women as a concept to birth. And motherhood. And being caretakers. Almost every woman in bloodborne has less agency than their men counterparts, most of them are more strongly abused, shown as complacent and weak and only exist to serve. Even maria has no agency and is constantly driven back to the fact she was gman's apprentice and following he and laurence's orders. She has little identity outside of them in written down ingame lore and the one time she did something outside of them, is the one time she became a caretaker (because all women are it seems). The fact the og lady maria npc even exists is even worse on that part. I'm using her as an example because shes the one people most often take as an example of bb being good about women (look theres a strong female character!) but it's obviously much more than just her, just look at arianna and adella for more than one second. The only npcs i can think of that i would consider Actually Good And Normal About Women are eileen and fauxsefka. And i mean actual npcs im not counting bosses that we dont know much about on a personal level (like rom and amelia)
What I'm trying to say is, i think it's awesome when people have feminist interpretations of bloodborne and i think its a good thing to take those female characters for yourself and its a good thing to make the game as transgender and gay as you want it to be, and its perfect soil for that too, i do it all the time and find many many themes in it by myself, but we can't keep lying to ourselves that it was any good at it on its own. It's soulsborne for fuck's sake it has Always been Really Weird about women and minorities just look at ds look at firekeepers and gwyndolin and many other examples. Bloodborne isnt exempt from that just because men are writing about pregnancy as horror.
#i swear i say this every month but like i feel strongly about this#slsborne isnt 'inherently gay' WE made it#and thats a compliment to us and not the writers#the writers did not intend to make it as gay & trans & feminist as we interpreted it#that much is very clear to me#its completely ok and awesome to celebrate bb as like trans culture and whatnot#i do that too im always talking about how its an extremely trans game#but we have to remember its because we saw ourselves in it and made it so not because the writers made it so#miyazaki is absolutely not a feminist icon or whatever#theres always more i have to say about this but i cant ever figure out how to word it#the thing is the way women are in this game are fine if they were isolated cases#but its the fact that they almost all are Like That that makes it bad#cuz believe me i love women with issues and women that r horrible people and women that are doomed to have no agency#i think theyre always the most interesting characters. but thats in cases where its not All Of Them#when its All Of Them that r like that it says something abt the writers more than anything#my worst curse is that i badly love female characters that are forced to be serviceable#im the blood saints fan im the firekeepers fan. but i see and know how absolutely fucking shitty of a trope they are#bc they dont exist in a vaccuum#writing tag
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you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.
There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.
#like so much of their dynamic (esp but not exclusively in S3) has been about showing the ways that carmy's trauma and dysfunctional#attitude in the kitchen impacts other people and how even though he cares about syd and wants their partnership to work he keeps self#sabotaging and setting himself and by extension her and the restaurant up to fail and replicating the same toxic environments that#he grew up and trained in and this is very much consistent with his character and a natural continuation of the conflicts they've been#having since S1 but because him being shitty with her runs contrary to them getting together suddenly its 'ruining the story' and#out of character and only happening bc the writers just hate to see this ship winning and like. if you really think that i genuinely don't#know what show you've been watching bc it sure as shit wasn't this one. like it hurts to see him do this because you know#they could do something genuinely great together and that he's ruining a really good thing but this is also the reality of where he is rn#if he was just a good and supporting business partner and not deeply dysfunctional it would be wildly out of character#the problem w S3 wasn't that it 'ruined' their relationship it's that it had no clear focus overemphasized carmy's arc at the expense#of the other leads deprioritized the supporting cast while failing to give them their own arcs gave more screen time to#unecessary and uninteresting new 'comic relief' characters and let conflicts stagnate without resolving them or#letting them evolve over the course of the season.#this isn't exclusive to the bear this is a general trend ive noticed where as soon as the 'shipper' part of people's brains get activated#it's like they lose the ability to read the story any other way and it stops being about what's good for the narrative and starts being#about whether or not these two people kiss and anything that gets in the way of that is bad and anything that brings it closer is good#and it's usually whatever but it's really frustrating when the story ppl are doing that to is this good#it also makes people fundamentally incapable of treating any 'obstacle' to that romance in a way that isn't wildly meanspirited and#gross (esp bc those characters are usually women) which is exhausting. like no claire isn't evil or a 'pick me' or 'bad' for carmy#or a useless addition to the story or whatever other nonsense you guys have decided must be true to feel okay. she's a perfectly normal#character and their relationship is exploring some of the ways that carmy's inability to deal with or actually address his trauma#impacts the various relationships in his life. she doesn't even have to be a monster or a narrative mistake for him and syd to be#'destined' for each other or whatever. this isn't a middle school wattpad fic.#im definitely gonna get killed in the street for this but ive been looking for a good reason to spend less time on here so might as well#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto
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I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms đïžđïžđIâm all ears
I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!
The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.
More:
Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.
Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)
Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like thatâ oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.
Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4â5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.
Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.
The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.
They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.
And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.
I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.
#and then. and im putting my most controversial opinion in the tags bc im scared lmao. but like... then... you have the fans..... doing......#the same fucking thing.#the amount of times I have seen Wriothesley used as just a side prop for Neuvillette to feel bad about shit. While Wriothesley is just.....#portrayed as having the inner peace and acceptance of a fucking monk. I was shocked when I read some fics I swear#they really said this man has no trauma at all! the stuff in his past? he's over it!#i hate that passivity when writing victims. like ok if One is written like that#sure. but MHY write all their victims like this#I mean look at fucking Lanoire#and Neuvillette sentenced him to prison after he killed his parents who were never confronted by the law. That's canon.#that's more canon than WRLT itself.#why weren't they confronted? did wriothesley try to talk to someone about it? why did he feel like killing them is his only option ?????#at least have there be some sort of conflict and friction there. How does Wriothesley feel about the court and Neuvillette when#this is the literal system that allowed all that shit to happen to him in the first place???#are you Sure he won't be at least a little wary? the fact that some people think he's Grateful to Neuvillette or even idolises him is crazy#because the man literally subjected him to prison. and if you want to portray his prison life as easy breezy and trauma free#you undermine his entire shitty little 'prison reform' narrative#and if you think he'd be completely 100% accepting of the justice system. Then why the fuck would he kill his parents himself#don't you see that the whole 'I'll accept whatever sentence in order to kill my parents' thing in itself is an act of defying the system#and I Hate#this idea. about being some of the most powerful men in the nation. and yet they can't fucking TRY to set up a better system or smth#i can't believe I read a fic where leaving starving street kids croissants is the most they (the characters and the writer) want to do#like. what the fuck. the whole point of that scene is just to make neuvillette feel bad and be like aw......... poor people exist.... OK???#this is literally how MHY would portray him though.... tbf..... This is what ppl would argue as 'in character'#I just think the character they're in is bad.#I will say I'm giving the fic a lot of grief. there's more to the scene than that. and. ultimately.....#fanfic is (saying this through gritted teeth) ........ recreational....................and free........... in the end.................#i dont think this is reflective of the writer. I do think it is reflective of the way the canon material (genshin impact)#presents in the audience who consumes it. most fans only want these guys to fuck anyway. not think about systemic injustices#canon doesn't make it about the systemic injustices either so why should we. the aesthetic of slums and prisons are just there for fun guys#IM JUST CRAZY OK. I SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE THIS IS NOT FOR ME . I DONT CARE THAT MUCH FOR PEOPLE FUCKING AND I CARE TOO MUCH
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Desperate Dog - original poem
Trying to appease my one-track mind
It's got a bone to catch
It's rough, gentle, a caress of sharp teeth
Slow slippery hope
Hanging by a noose
Crippling me
I would crumble at your animosity
So please never leave me
I can be the flowerpot you tend to under-water
You'll be mine, that I tend to obsess over
Write stanzas and sonnets for my one true love
Ink stains permanent on the hands you hold
Cold winter nights
Swallowed by your warmth
Slow summer highs
Gazing in your eyes
Do all lovers feel,
they've created something new?
Is this why I feel,
so damn confused?
Novelty felt so right and familiar
Cruelty by your hand, seen as no matter
Food I cannot eat, as I look at you and wonder:
Was this always,
fated in the stars?
Was I always fated,
to fall this hard?
#another poem about a love so deep i can only fantasize about experiencing through shitty poetry written in substitution classes??#what nooo absolutely not. ur crazy. im done with that cringe shit#mithi's own#poetic lil mithi#shitty poetry#spilled ink#poems and quotes#words words words#poem#prose#spilled poetry#poetry quotes#poetry on tumblr#poems and poetry#original poetry#dark poetry#poetry#short poem#poetic#poems on tumblr#spilled poem#short poems#sad poem#original poem#poems#love poem#poets on tumblr#my poem#writers and poets#poetsandwriters
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ewan has been consistently saying in interviews that aemond still holds love for aegon that their relationship is complicated but they're still family so he is still loyal yet none of that is actually shown or written to be like that on-screen.... am kinda convinced that ewan hates the aemond betrayal at RR just as much as we do đđđ
#oh greens actors im so sorry i wasnt your writer.... đđ#ive been getting second hand embarrassment from the actor interviews for this season bc they all try so damn hard to make the shitty writing#condal and hess served them up work w disseminating their headcanons post factum đđ#i feel so bad for the actors đđ#hotd#anti hotd#bakma bana
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i am one (1) mention of that ridiculous season away from busting out my 10+ years of fanfic writer and my film degree and rewriting the whole last season of TUA into something little child me expected when she first read the comics and that adult me put HOPE into the WRONG PEOPLE APPARENTLY to make it come true [eyelid frantically twitching in barely contained rage] do i have the time? absolutely not. will i do it anyway? perhaps. 99% chance.
#i am not kidding#i didn't went through my screenwriting class four times because i was a shitty writer like them#i went through it four times because i actually *wanted* to write better scripts and liked the classes#im about to rewrite it and present it to netflix as a threat#like jared leto allegedly (i don't wanna be sued thanks) giving dead mice to coworkers to get into the joker mood#fuck netflix#TUA#TUA Season 4#The Umbrella Academy
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