#im a shitty writer
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Lancelot: How have you been? I feel like you recently acted a bit... strange
Merlin: I have no idea what you're talking about
Lancelot: So nothing is happening? Something for which you act like this?
Merlin: No, no, a lot of things happen all the time so I have no idea what you mean by "recently"
#and give this man a break#Someone told me that Merlin sweats as if a bucket of water had been thrown over him#And I'm not surprised when this man goes from one pole to the other doing everything in Camelot#incorrect merlin quotes#incorrect quotes#humor#funny#sarcastic#bbc merlin#merthur#merlin emrys#ao3#merlin bbc#merlin#merlintv#the adventures of merlin#sir lancelot#amazing lancelot#lancelot du lac#the knights of the round table#camelot#arthurian#fandom#multifandom#reccs#writing#fic writers#txt.mine#shitty post#im bad at tags
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the average acotar fans r so boring. like wdym you have no concept of media literacy or complex characters. Why does everything have to be spelled out for you? I have never seen such a flat and lowkey boring male character receive so much love (rhysand) when he does the bare minimum and also. SUCKS.
#and then they shit on tamlin likers#like im sorry i can look past a character’s 2 bad deeds and acknowledge he was destroyed by the narrative#but god forbid i look at the performative feminist and go nah#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#tamlin#pro tamlin#sarah j maas#rhysand#sjm#anti rhysand#feyre#sjm critical#i mean sjm is kinda a shitty writer so its not completely rhys fault#theres no nuance theres no complexity theres no FLAVOR
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These shits own my brain, one of them more than the other.
Looking at you Augustine. Get out of my head. /j
#cold front#Augustine Orlov#winnie bosko#your honour i love them#cold front game#studio investigrave#pssssst fanfic writers you should totally go and write more cold front fics because theres only about 4 really good ones#the rest are shitty unfinished oneshots#ive read all of them.#im desperate#please#ratkingart#digital art#hell yeah
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alfajores
AN - the poll I put up the other day won out with fluffy pedro/reader and I'm working on a request I got for it but it's taking me a hot sec, so have this one that I already have written to hold you over :) hope you enjoy!
word count - 2,900+
rating - teen
content warnings - no warnings, just fluff!
summary - you decide to surprise pedro for his birthday on set with some help from bella (ao3 link if you prefer, it's titled pedrito over there :) )
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you worry too much
You hit send, tucking your phone quickly between your thighs as you tried to relax, eyes trained on the window outside as the plane started to pull back from the jetbridge. You were never much of a liar, but you hoped desperately that you could pull this one off somehow.
Your phone buzzed. A text from Pedro, no doubt.
Mi amor, that’ll be four shifts this week. You need a break :(
You couldn’t help the smile that it brought to your face, knowing that he had no idea that you’d be seeing him so soon.
I’ll survive. Busy is good. Now go film some cool shit, tell Bella I said hi. I’ll text when I can. I love you
Love you more. and no hi for Bella, they ate all my bday cookies.
You chuckled to yourself and quickly clicked your phone over to airplane mode. You’d paid for the inflight wifi so he wouldn’t suspect anything if he happened to have enough breaks in filming to text you - he was a worrier at heart, especially when it came to those he loved, and an undelivered text would be enough to put him into a panic.
With everything set into motion, you settled back into your seat and reviewed the plan.
You’d had it in the works for a month. All behind the scenes of course, but you’d gotten everyone in on it that you could. Neil, Craig, Bella, Gabriel - anyone who would be around set. The filming schedule was insane, but you knew that they’d want Pedro’s birthday to be special, especially since he wasn’t able to come home and spend it with you.
In the years that you’d been dating, you had learned he loved a good surprise, though he would never admit it. And even more so, he would never, ever , let anyone make a big deal out of things for him. Even if he played it off for the press about loving the attention, when it came to those close to him he would much rather celebrate those around him than be the one in the spotlight.
It was no surprise that they were one hundred percent on board with throwing a bit of a surprise party, with you being the main surprise. The next part of the plan was simple - getting a few days off work had been easy enough, considering Pedro had insisted that you went part time and only worked when you wanted to once he landed another job. It was a luxury that you allowed, considering it meant you got to spend so much more time with him when he was off filming, and even go on the occasional press tour with him.
Once the flight was booked and everything else had been arranged, the hard part came - keeping the love of your life in the dark. Pedro was the type of person that you wanted to tell everything to. From the simple things, like the dog in the rain boots that you’d seen on 2nd avenue that morning, to how much you wished you could be together all the time - any thought you had flowed off your tongue so easily to him. He was your safe space, and you were his, which was a cornerstone of your relationship from day one.
Thank god you’d only finalized your plan a few weeks ago, or you weren’t sure you would have made it.
As a cover up, you found a highly rated South American bakery in Vancouver to send some of his favorite cookies and sweets to set, just like the ones his mom used to make when he was young. You sent some flowers too - hydrangeas, spray roses, gerberas - something to warm up the cold Vancouver set he’d been dealing with. He’d called you that morning from hair and makeup, so grateful and excited. You’d promised him there was more to come when you could see him in person, which he thought was in three long weeks when there was a small break in scheduling for something Bella needed to do back in London. That seemed to be enough of a birthday present from afar to satisfy him.
You hoped he was still in the dark as you watched the small plane flit across your screen, taking you mile by mile closer to him.
It was a long flight from New York to Vancouver. You spent the majority of the time doing something you didn’t get to do often on flights - watch something Pedro was in. Majority of the time, if you were on a long haul, Pedro was right beside you and in his true almost 50 year old fashion, he’d break out his headphone splitter and want to watch something with you. You’d only recently got him to agree to airpods. Obviously, that meant anything he had been in was off limits, so you took the rare chance to go back and watch Narcos - you were only in season two, and you were loving how much screen time Pena was getting.
It made you smile hearing Pedro getting to show off in both Spanish and English - he’d taught you quite a bit in your relationship, and you caught quite a few words throughout the episodes that you recognized, though most of the time you were too busy watching him to pay much attention to anything else. God, you would never understand how you’d gotten so lucky.
Halfway through an episode, a text popped up on your phone.
This is gonna be so good dude, he is proper clueless.
You laughed as you read it in Bella’s voice. A picture came through next of them holding a small cookie and running away, with a blur that you assumed was Pedro in the back.
Also, pls send more alfajores before he kills me
By the looks of the photo, they were shooting outside of the city still, which was what you had planned for. Pedro had begun a habit of sending you a picture each morning of the set for the day, a way of keeping you involved from afar. It seemed to be the same beautiful landscape as earlier - you hoped he had been having a good day so far.
The rest of the flight went off without a hitch. You texted Pedro once, feigning that you were on break at work, unsurprised that he wasn’t able to answer right away, as you knew he was busy.
The excitement really started to set in when you touched down in Vancouver. You shot a text to Craig once you landed - it was 7pm local time, and you had about an hour and a half drive to get to set. To your surprise, the crew had insisted that you got the celebrity treatment by association, and had sent you a driver who met you outside of the airport and immediately got you on your way.
You made small talk with her until the first and only hiccup of the plan appeared - Pedro’s face popped up on your phone, an adorable picture of him from last summer on your vacation to Hawaii - an incoming facetime call. Of course. He usually called you in the evenings, but it wasn’t always a facetime. As much as it killed you, you let it ring through, waiting about five minutes until you returned it with a regular call.
“Hi mi amor , everything okay? You off work?” He picked up on the first ring.
“Yeah yeah, I’m good! I’ve got a headache so I took a shower and got straight in bed, sorry I didn’t pick up.” It felt so wrong to lie, but you knew it would pay off.
“Oh no cariño, did you take some medicine? Did the shower help? There’s some of that tea I made you last time in the cabinet still, in the purple box.”
“I’m fine love, just need some sleep is all. Guess it’s a good thing I’m not there to put a damper on your birthday fun,” you teased, grinning to yourself. Your driver let out a tiny chuckle that you caught in the rearview mirror.
“Wish you were here, headache or no headache,” he sighed. “I miss you.”
“Miss you more.”
“ Mentiras. ” He said. “Lies,” he translated when you didn’t contradict him. “I won’t keep you, just wanted to see your pretty face. We can talk in the morning when you feel better, okay? Call me if you need me. I love you.”
“I love you too. Happy birthday Pedro, I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Bye amor.”
You hung up, letting your head rest back and your heart flutter as the city began to fade away behind you.
One hour later, and you were frantically texting with Bella, attempting to find the best way to surprise Pedro as you arrived on set.
Have your driver drop you off by my trailer, and I’ll sneak you into production stage. Meet you there in five.
You relayed the message and sure enough, Bella came scurrying around the corner, practically tackling you in a hug once they found you. You’d met them the first time you came to set with Pedro, back in the beginning stages of production during some team bonding time, and you knew how important their relationship was to the both of them.
“Do you think he has any idea that I’m here?” You asked, following Bella as they led you around the back of a large temporary structure that you assumed was production stage.
“Not a single fucking clue. Craig and I have been playing it off all day long, talking about how fun it would be if you were here,” Bella grinned. “I think Neil is bringing out a cake, c’mon, we gotta hurry. He’s probably in his chair, just hang back and sneak up behind him.”
As you rounded the corner, you heard the hum of voices inside and noticed the chairs. Bella gave you a quick thumbs up and hurried around so they didn’t draw any attention to you, coming in from a different angle and taking their chair next to Pedro. You spotted Neil first, walking very carefully with a large chocolate cake alit with candles in the general direction of the chairs.
Crew began to gather around and you swung to the right so you could blend in but still see Pedro’s face as he realized what was happening. They all began to sing and you watched the adorable blush spread across his cheeks. Bella was filming beside him as he smiled and blew out his candles to the applause of all of the cast and crew - it warmed your heart to see so many people celebrating the man you loved.
They took the cake to a nearby table and began to cut it, passing Pedro his piece first. In all the noise, you seized your opportunity to sneak up behind him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and squeezing gently.
“Can I have a bite?”
His eyes blew wide as he craned his neck to try and see who was behind him. You leaned back to help him out, laughing at the pure shock on his face.
“What!? What the fuck are you doing here!? You’re in New York!” He discarded his cake to the side, roughly pushing his chair out of the way to get to you as he stood up all in one move, wrapping you up in his arms. You could vaguely hear applause somewhere behind you but you didn’t care. It felt too good to be in his arms after so many weeks, your brain didn’t have much space to process anything else.
When he finally loosened up it was only to kiss you softly twice on the lips, then once on the forehead before he leaned back and grinned at you.
“You sneaky little thing.”
“Guess I’m not in New York,” you teased, popping up on your tiptoes to kiss him one more time before you disentangled from him, leaning over to give Bella a fist bump.
“Oh you knew about this? Huh?” Pedro asked.
“Of course I knew about it, I’ve known for a month man!” Bella grinned.
“Oh you see if you make it through a single take tomorrow kid,” he threatened, but they were both laughing.
“Actually, as a birthday gift, tomorrow is a rest day. Everybody can thank Y/N for that one!” Craig announced, which was met with whooping and cheers from everyone, with a few yells of your name. Pedro pulled you up against his side.
“I assume that means you’re spending the night then, eh?”
“Nah, figured I’d just pop in for five minutes and then catch the next flight out,” you grinned, rolling your eyes at him. “I’m here for three days, two nights.”
“Not long enough. Never long enough, but I’ll take what I can get,” Pedro sighed, kissing your hair. “Now get some cake so we can go home.”
Home in Vancouver was a nice apartment that Pedro was renting downtown. After cake was had, final birthday wishes were given and hugs were distributed, Pedro changed back into his own clothes and led you to his rental - an Audi, of course. He opened the passenger door for you and climbed into the driver’s seat, holding your hand as he sped off of set and back towards the city.
It didn’t matter that you had just done this drive - he held the back of your hand up to his lips, pressing soft kisses there as he drove down the highway and you couldn’t have been more content.
“I cannot believe you’re here right now. I thought I wasn’t going to see you for weeks,” he said, shaking his head. He hadn’t stopped smiling since you had appeared behind him.
“I couldn’t leave you alone on your birthday,” you sighed, leaning over and resting your head on his shoulder. It was late New York time, and the adrenaline of the day was beginning to wear off now that you were with your man.
“You can sleep cariño, I’ll wake you up when we get there,” he murmured to you.
“No, no I'm okay,” you reassured him, but it was already garbled.
The next thing you felt were soft lips on your forehead.
“We’re here mi amor. C’mon, let's get you upstairs.”
He helped you out of the car, the lobby lights of the building helping to wake you up a bit as you made it to the elevator. The driver from earlier had put your suitcase in Pedro’s car, and he managed it with ease as well. You stayed tucked up to his side as you headed up to the top floor. He unlocked the door easily, keeping one arm wrapped around you even as you walked through the door, rolling your suitcase into the corner. He kicked off his boots and tossed his keys somewhere, and then he was scooping you up, making you squeal a bit when your feet left the floor.
“God you don’t know how many times I’ve thought about you being here lately. I’ve missed you like crazy baby.” He carried you down the hallway and into the kitchen, sitting you down onto the counter. Without asking, he turned and made you a glass of ice water. “Drink. You’ve been on a plane all day.”
You listened to him, grateful for the cool liquid on your dry throat.
“I need to go get all this makeup off, but I’ll be ready for bed in five minutes. Meet you there?”
“I could go with you,” you offered, but your words were garbled by the long yawn that immediately followed. Pedro chuckled, kissing your nose.
“I don’t think I can hold you upright and wash all this grime off at the same time love. Go climb in bed. Stay awake for me, I’ll be there in just a minute,” he instructed, taking you by the hips and placing you on your feet. He didn’t let go until he was sure you were steady, and then he disappeared to the bathroom.
You didn’t even bother going for your suitcase. Instead, you moved to your boyfriend’s drawers, finding his old Lakers shirt. It smelled so much like him that it made you smile as you stripped out of everything but your underwear and pulled it on.
You climbed into bed, making yourself sit up so you wouldn’t fall back asleep as you listened to the water run in the bathroom, then turn off. Pedro was humming a song as he got ready, and you couldn’t help but grin when he emerged only a few minutes later in just his boxers, hair damp and a matching smile on his face.
He wasted no time in climbing into bed next to you, immediately reaching over and pulling you right up against him. His hands splayed out underneath your shirt, finding skin as he sighed, pressing his nose up to your neck and breathing you in.
“Ahh, mi deseo,” he breathed.
“Translate,” you whispered, eyes closed as you melted into him, trying to get your skin onto his everywhere that you could. It lit a familiar fire in you that began to burn deep.
“My wish,” he said. “I wished for you. Today, but also for so long.”
“I’m here. Right here,” you breathed, hands slotting into his hair. His fingers found purchase against your hips, pulling you over and on top of him.
“Happy birthday Pedrito.”
“Happy birthday to me,” he grinned, and got to work.
#my writing#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal#pedro pascal writing#pedro pascal fluff#:)#hope you enjoy! my next one has some angst thrown in hehe#and im still working on my javi p one I just have the worst writers block of all time apparently lol#sorry the gif is shitty I threw it together in literally 5 minutes haha
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Part of me wonders if Buck had told Tommy he loved him, instead of asking him to move in Tommy wouldn't have freaked out as much as he did
#bucktommy#momo.txt#this is me just desperately trying to rationalise that shitty break up#i get that it's all the writers but FUVK#so ooc but im trying to make it work
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Why don't you like Jimmy or Jimmy simps??
Hey darling!
So I don't like Jimmy for.. obvious reasons, but I have nothing against Jimmy simps!!
Let your freak flag fly, I do not care. I just personally don't write for Jimmy as it is a personal thing, but I can always help direct people to writers who do!!
Like for example, and these two are on the top of my head because 1. I love their work and 2. They actually have commented on one of my posts earlier so they're first writers that come to mind
@/jambalaya-enthusiast and @/curly-my-beloved are good ones!! I don't write for Jimmy, but last I checked these two do!! They're amazing writers and you guys should check them out
#im not going to fully tag them because I dont know them personally#but they seem like lovely people and if you have any jimmy x reader requests for Mouthwashing#they are some good ones#I think there might be a few other writers but im not sure..#if anyone knows any more please let me know and I will add their names on here too!!#I dont like jimmy but I have nothing against his simps guys#and by the way I dont really appreciate those “anon was lucky they stayed anon” comments#because as a writer and a reader it can really suck seeing those comments and thinking theres something wrong with it#like curly is a shitty dude too but I still weite for him I just dont write for Jimmy since its a personal preference#ill stop rambling#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing#mouthwashing horror game#jimmy x reader#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#jimmy x reader mouthwashing
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halfbaked and basic landoscar fic concept where Lando tends bar at a struggling pub recently passed down to Logan and Alex, who reaches out to Logan’s childhood friend Oscar to help save the bar and over the course of several weeks/months/however Oscar and Lando grow closer trying to do their best to save the pub while Sargbon try to set them up
#So like the vision is#Logan and Alex got handed this pub (probably named williams or smth) by a old family friend and it’s pretty in the dumps already#they’re gonna sell the place until Lando (someone who tended bar under the old owner and is really attached) convinces them it’ll be worth#so they call oscar in who’s working like a shitty 9to5 and has no friends or life outside work#and beg for his help saving this bar#and it’s very hallmarky like the whole town gets together to help save the bar with the rallying of Lando and the genius of oscar#the two obvi get closer together over the course of saving the bar#but hijinks ensue through miscommunication#probably smth like Lando overhears Oscar telling logan he is giving up/going back to shitty 9to5 out of context#when really it’s the opposite#and they fall in love#so oscar ends up running the admin side of the bar while logan alex and lando all work the front of house#fanfic writers im giving you this half baked shitty concept#as a gift#landoscar#mctwinks#oscar piastri#lando norris#logan sargeant#alex albon#sargebon
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revstar fans we need to put on the best talent show this towns ever seen and save ReLive!!
#revue starlight#NOT TAKING THE NEWS WELL AT ALL. MY GIRLS THEYRE TAKING MY GIRLS AWAY FROM ME!#like its been a part of my daily routine for like a year and half now... im not gonna know what to do with myself#i really cant stand all the people being like HAHA EAT SHIT AND DIE GACHA GAME#like i will not defend the gacha aspect. i wish it it did not have to be a gacha. i acknowledge gacha games as a concept suck#but like relive wasnt some souless cash grab gacha game#the writers clearly had real passion for what they were doing. they had stories to share with us in the revue starlight universe#and sadly the way things are shitty gacha game was how they were able to make it possible#and truly it had such amazing stories. like. theres no media quite like rev star. a complete cast of female characters#all of them complex and flawed and getting to have big messy feelings!! and fighting eachother with magic swords about those feelings!!#all the different relationships between them love and rivalry and friendships and sisterhoods all complicated and fleshed out#LIKE IT JUST MEANT MUCH TO HAVE THE STEADY STREAM OF COMPELLING STORIES ENTIRY FOCUSED ON GIRLS#and now its going to be gone. i know theres still all the other revstar medoa and hope they keep doing stuff with the francise#i hope we see the frontier and rinmeikan girls again someday. they honestly had the most moments that made my jaw drop#onward to the next stage#right?#anyways do you get it talent show lol cause theyre stage performers
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you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.
There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.
#like so much of their dynamic (esp but not exclusively in S3) has been about showing the ways that carmy's trauma and dysfunctional#attitude in the kitchen impacts other people and how even though he cares about syd and wants their partnership to work he keeps self#sabotaging and setting himself and by extension her and the restaurant up to fail and replicating the same toxic environments that#he grew up and trained in and this is very much consistent with his character and a natural continuation of the conflicts they've been#having since S1 but because him being shitty with her runs contrary to them getting together suddenly its 'ruining the story' and#out of character and only happening bc the writers just hate to see this ship winning and like. if you really think that i genuinely don't#know what show you've been watching bc it sure as shit wasn't this one. like it hurts to see him do this because you know#they could do something genuinely great together and that he's ruining a really good thing but this is also the reality of where he is rn#if he was just a good and supporting business partner and not deeply dysfunctional it would be wildly out of character#the problem w S3 wasn't that it 'ruined' their relationship it's that it had no clear focus overemphasized carmy's arc at the expense#of the other leads deprioritized the supporting cast while failing to give them their own arcs gave more screen time to#unecessary and uninteresting new 'comic relief' characters and let conflicts stagnate without resolving them or#letting them evolve over the course of the season.#this isn't exclusive to the bear this is a general trend ive noticed where as soon as the 'shipper' part of people's brains get activated#it's like they lose the ability to read the story any other way and it stops being about what's good for the narrative and starts being#about whether or not these two people kiss and anything that gets in the way of that is bad and anything that brings it closer is good#and it's usually whatever but it's really frustrating when the story ppl are doing that to is this good#it also makes people fundamentally incapable of treating any 'obstacle' to that romance in a way that isn't wildly meanspirited and#gross (esp bc those characters are usually women) which is exhausting. like no claire isn't evil or a 'pick me' or 'bad' for carmy#or a useless addition to the story or whatever other nonsense you guys have decided must be true to feel okay. she's a perfectly normal#character and their relationship is exploring some of the ways that carmy's inability to deal with or actually address his trauma#impacts the various relationships in his life. she doesn't even have to be a monster or a narrative mistake for him and syd to be#'destined' for each other or whatever. this isn't a middle school wattpad fic.#im definitely gonna get killed in the street for this but ive been looking for a good reason to spend less time on here so might as well#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto
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I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms 👁️👁️👂I’m all ears
I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!
The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.
More:
Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.
Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)
Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like that— oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.
Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4–5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.
Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.
The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.
They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.
And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.
I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.
#and then. and im putting my most controversial opinion in the tags bc im scared lmao. but like... then... you have the fans..... doing......#the same fucking thing.#the amount of times I have seen Wriothesley used as just a side prop for Neuvillette to feel bad about shit. While Wriothesley is just.....#portrayed as having the inner peace and acceptance of a fucking monk. I was shocked when I read some fics I swear#they really said this man has no trauma at all! the stuff in his past? he's over it!#i hate that passivity when writing victims. like ok if One is written like that#sure. but MHY write all their victims like this#I mean look at fucking Lanoire#and Neuvillette sentenced him to prison after he killed his parents who were never confronted by the law. That's canon.#that's more canon than WRLT itself.#why weren't they confronted? did wriothesley try to talk to someone about it? why did he feel like killing them is his only option ?????#at least have there be some sort of conflict and friction there. How does Wriothesley feel about the court and Neuvillette when#this is the literal system that allowed all that shit to happen to him in the first place???#are you Sure he won't be at least a little wary? the fact that some people think he's Grateful to Neuvillette or even idolises him is crazy#because the man literally subjected him to prison. and if you want to portray his prison life as easy breezy and trauma free#you undermine his entire shitty little 'prison reform' narrative#and if you think he'd be completely 100% accepting of the justice system. Then why the fuck would he kill his parents himself#don't you see that the whole 'I'll accept whatever sentence in order to kill my parents' thing in itself is an act of defying the system#and I Hate#this idea. about being some of the most powerful men in the nation. and yet they can't fucking TRY to set up a better system or smth#i can't believe I read a fic where leaving starving street kids croissants is the most they (the characters and the writer) want to do#like. what the fuck. the whole point of that scene is just to make neuvillette feel bad and be like aw......... poor people exist.... OK???#this is literally how MHY would portray him though.... tbf..... This is what ppl would argue as 'in character'#I just think the character they're in is bad.#I will say I'm giving the fic a lot of grief. there's more to the scene than that. and. ultimately.....#fanfic is (saying this through gritted teeth) ........ recreational....................and free........... in the end.................#i dont think this is reflective of the writer. I do think it is reflective of the way the canon material (genshin impact)#presents in the audience who consumes it. most fans only want these guys to fuck anyway. not think about systemic injustices#canon doesn't make it about the systemic injustices either so why should we. the aesthetic of slums and prisons are just there for fun guys#IM JUST CRAZY OK. I SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE THIS IS NOT FOR ME . I DONT CARE THAT MUCH FOR PEOPLE FUCKING AND I CARE TOO MUCH
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ewan has been consistently saying in interviews that aemond still holds love for aegon that their relationship is complicated but they're still family so he is still loyal yet none of that is actually shown or written to be like that on-screen.... am kinda convinced that ewan hates the aemond betrayal at RR just as much as we do 😭😭😭
#oh greens actors im so sorry i wasnt your writer.... 😭😭#ive been getting second hand embarrassment from the actor interviews for this season bc they all try so damn hard to make the shitty writing#condal and hess served them up work w disseminating their headcanons post factum 😭😭#i feel so bad for the actors 😭😭#hotd#anti hotd#bakma bana
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okay i meant to make this post forever ago but my personal opinion on why so many people were so dissatisfied with lightfalll (disclaimer: i am not one of these people, i love lightfall SO much), is that lightfall was kind of subjected to a really aggressive marketing campaign.
like, stick with me here, i feel like almost all the lightfall release content (the trailers especially) were so focused on battling the witness, how this battle has been centuries in the making and this is the Second Collapse Finally Finding Us, only for there to be,,, no real resolution. the end was left on such a severe cliffhanger, but not only that, there was NO battle with the witness. the witness didn't even seem to be having a hard time at all with what we WERE throwing at it.
and for narrative reasons *i* am obsessed with this ending; in terms of storytelling i adore practically every creative decision that was made in lightfall, but i think the reason that so many people were so upset about it is because lightfall had such intense marketing and was rooted in the implication that this was the End of Days, only for us to get almost no closure, and instead so many more questions.
(there's also something to be said, i think, about the fact that the people who ARE most upset about this are like, the youtube gamer dudebros who's content is very very often rooted in the aggressive, violence-and-warfare, pvp-centric, no-interest-in-lore approach to destiny, and that the people i've seen primarily ENJOYING the narrative decisions (or at least being understanding about it) are the artists and writers and loremasters of the fandom, but i'm not quite sure,,, how to expand on that point.)
#like. something something yt dudebros who are like 'uhhh destiny is about violence and war and the lore is only for people who suck at pvp#and destiny is a shitty evil game i hate it sooooo much hashtag 26871435 hours recorded gameplay' asshats#being the ones complaining MOST about the narrative in. a narrative driven game. and refusing to engage with ANY lore in a LORE HEAVY GAME#vs. the community on here thats full of artists and writers and people who actually like to analyze the story and characters#and engage with the lore and have any emotional attachment at all to the characters and world and themes#being the ones who are like. appreciative of the narrative decisions made and looking forward to where the story will take us and#looking at the game with LOVE instead of hatred and malice#and even if you didn't like lightfall!!! people in the latter category are still the people who i keep seeing be like#'yeah even if i didn't personally like it i can understand the significance of this narrative decision.'#'i acknowledge that bungie put so much time and effort and passion into making this even if it wasnt satisfying to me personally.'#'i have the critical thinking skills to understand that bungie is not a sentient malicious entity trying to ruin my life; me; specifically'#like. do you get what im saying. gamer dudebros who think the world revolves around them vs the fandom members who actually understand art#bc. thats what destiny is. its art. the whole thing is a massive art project made by a group of people that are very passionate about it.#do you hear what im saying at ALL its like two separate fandoms for the same piece of media the difference is so stark#mine#destiny 2#lightfall#destiny 2 lightfall#eos destiny essays
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i'm not exactly innocent of this and i am not defending her at all as a person, but sometimes when people criticize l!ly 0rchard, i can't help but side eye a liiiittle bit when they nitpick EVERYTHING about her writing... including stuff that i knowwww the average person wouldn't criticize a cis and/or male writer for doing.
and it bugs me more that you cant point that out without people going "omg its not transmisogynistic to criticize a bad youtuber!! look, we don't misgender her, dont we get a medal for that?"
#like the ''ewww she doesnt write male characters? she writes female characters??? shes got a woman fetish!!!!!'' thing i keep seeing#im sorry thats a weird ass thing to say about a transfem creator#''she wrote her self insert as a cis woman... thats kinda weirddd shes trivializing the trans experience... shes erasing trans people''#she is the trans people in question?#like idk i dont think lily's writing is bad bc she prefers to write women. i think its bad bc she's a shitty person and that leaks into#her work#this woman goes on about how her fans have shitty trash writing and shes the only good writer among them and thats the core of her bad writ#writing. to me anyways. anyone who's that spiteful and petty towards other creators is just prone to poor quality content#bc she doesnt respect other creatives so whats the chance that she respects the actual creative process yknow?#obligatory ''no this is not defending her as a person. i am not dismissing allegations. i am talking abt her work.'' tag
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God the new ultimate guide sucks
It's not JUST the awful art, either. The art's just worth mentioning because even if the book's info had been terrible or contained nothing new, really cute art can make it still worth having.
But, no, it's even full of recycled lines we've been hearing for years like "Bramblestar Can Match Squirrelflight's Fire Not Contain It," and that's when it DOES get everything right. These entries leave out major, important details (making them bad summaries) and are sometimes even straight-up incorrect.
SUMMARY THOUGHTS
Leafpool is said to have watched Brambleclaw kill Hawkfrost to save Firestar-- but for one, no, she was not there because Ashfur was still leading her and Squilf towards the scene. For two, no, Brambleclaw did not kill Hawkfrost just to save Firestar, it was self-defense. Hawkfrost had him pinned and was going to kill him.
They're REAL cute about Leafpool's death, too, neglecting to mention WHY the Sisters needed to be saved at all and just saying Leafpool's "generosity" lead to her death in that cave-in.
I'm not even going to get into everything on Bramble's entry jesus christ.
Sagewhisker's entry is ESPECIALLY fucken' dandy, framing Yellowfang's Secret like she was simply waiting patiently for Yellow to realize her 'destiny' and not actively shoving it on her at every opportunity.
Leopardstar's entry states that romantic interest in Tigerstar was part of her motivation. "Perhaps she'd hoped he would be her mate" please speak to a woman irl for once in your life.
Gray Wing's entry forgot that the reason he "blamed himself" for Bright Stream's death is because he was literally staring at his big strong brother too much and tripped on a root in front of him. It IS his fault she died.
Clear Sky/Skystar's entry is just obscene. "He regretted abandoning his son and after a fire, he encouraged him to live with him" instead of "saw his teenage child was useful now and bullied and belittled the kid and his uncle into letting Thunder come with him." "Retaining his fierceness towards his cats and outsiders which caused his son to leave" instead of "murdering, brutalizing, and abusing everyone around him caused Thunder to leave." I'll just say this tho; "Fierce" is an interesting way to spell "Cruel."
It's interesting that they don't point out that a major part of Jagged Peak's arc was proving he was "Just As Good" as every other cat in spite of his disability, thanks to his introduced-and-pregnant-in-the-same-book wife becoming his life coach, only earning Clear Sky's respect after being allowed to physically lead a patrol in Blazing Star. Instead they frame him finding his place through taking care of kits, which... was something he seemed to resent in the actual series, considering how the books suddenly treat Gray Wing's protective treatment of him as a terrible thing in Blazing Star because he "didn't give him a chance". But at the same time I actually strongly dislike Jagged Peak and his messy, frustrating character arc so I'm not really UPSET with it. Just... noting it. I suppose this is the official direction they're taking away from it?
Shadowstar's entry is barely even 3 paragraphs yikes.
SHORT STORY THOUGHTS
And if you're wondering if the 4 brand new stories they smooshed into the end in a desperate attempt to make the rush job worth buying are good? No. Of course not. They're all slop.
Story 1: Firestar and Graystripe
First one's a marginally cute story about Graystripe and Firestar which is setting up the framing device linking the mini-tales together. They both remember this situation where Firestar fell into a ditch wrong. The punchline is that Thunderstar remembers it perfectly and they're both like, "WOW! Too bad Thunderstar's memory sucks!"
It's not terrible, but it does feel a bit pointless. But, hey, if you want more Firestar and Graystripe in the series that tosses them fanservice at every turn, who am I to judge?
Story 2: Dovewing and Ivypool
The next one is the Dovewing/Ivypool reconciliation passage everyone's talking about. It's... fine, but immensely dissatisfying to me.
Dovewing is apparently having problems adjusting to her Clan, grapples a little bit with the fact she has no friends but is going to be finding meaning in helping tigerHeartstar "bring the new ShadowClan into existence." She ultimately decides that she needs to talk to her sister, and begs for reassurance that Ivypool believes in her, feeling that her support can help her get through this difficult time in her life.
I think its biggest problem is that Dovewing was not the right choice for the POV here.
Dove was never the one responsible for the rift in their relationship. Ivypool is. Ivypool is the one who was jealous, willing to sabotage anything that would put Dovewing closer to Tigerheart, and continues to be generally aggressive towards her. So when Dovewing is reaching out to Ivypool in hopes of them reconciling, it feels wrong because Ivypool is the one that should be reaching out to Dovewing. SHE is the one who has some things to apologize for, and to show how much she loves and misses her.
It's even kind of frustrating, because Dovewing can never catch a break. She has to have these problems to force her to reach out, Ivypool even ends up suggesting that she leave and come home and take her kids with her, but in the end even a LITTLE bit of assurance from her aggressive sister helps.
I feel super bad for Dovewing, man. She deserves better than this cheap writing. What was the point of such an unsatisfying, rushed reconciliation, shoved into a crummy field guide, when we KNOW from the newest book that they're just going to use tension between them as part of the drama anyway?
shouldn't have even been written, imo. Even ends off with, "They'll always have each other :)" which is so... cliche. It's TIRED. Are any of you really happy with just getting a retconned platitude in a good-for-nothing field guide, instead of seeing complicated, INTERESTING feelings in a main book?
Story 3: Alderheart and Twigbranch
A tale of Cherryfall getting sick during TBC and Alderheart sneaks back into the territory to treat her. Also Crowfeather has a scene where he yells at him. Charming.
Twigbranch comes up with a diversion while Alderheart does his work, which is cute. It's a fine story.
Story 4: Clear Sky
Trash. Three dogs spawn in the middle of a gathering so that Skystar can have an uwu big boy sendoff saving his grandkit. Then he goes to StarClan and throws a fit because they can't give him ANOTHER life, becoming so upset that he attacks the nearest woman. Naturally, Shadowstar brushes it off because it's not the first time Clear Sky has pummeled her in the midst of an adult tantrum and this book series thinks violence is fine if their favorite sadboy does it.
Then Gray Wing brings him to the magic mirror pool where you can see the living, to confirm that Star Flower is ok and that makes him feel better.
Then it launches into Firestar saying "ouuuugh yum I LOVE the taste of his butthole. Clear Sky is so misunderstood, He Just Loved Too Much."
to which Graystripe responds, "Yes, he was a good and amazing person and his farts smells SO good, and can you believe that some people think StarClan punished his Clan for his arrogance? As if he ever did anything wrong, ever?"
Firestar, indignant, refutes it with, "Ugh!! StarClan would NEVER be interesting, we don't punish living cats we just float around and make vague, frustrating prophecies that do nothing but pad the word count. Why cant ppl understand that, gosh."
who wrote this? Gray Wing??
#The amount of passive voice Clear Sky has to be surrounded with in order to look like a redeemable character is dizzying#I feel like I'm reading a headline about cops who blew up an orphanage every time I read anything official about him#oh wait im sorry. A ''high-pressure accident which occurred at a government institution with 3 officers present'' lmaooooo#ultimate field guide#bone babble#im actually REALLY glad actually they havent been making these#This was garbage#There were a few good things in this but overall? Absolute slop. I wouldn't even feed this to a pig.#I think this is actually down there with Cats of the Clans (with Rock) for worst field guide#This is abysmal#You would be better with the wiki summaries and the 4 stories are mid at best#What a shame that they re-pivoted so hard from Riverstar's SE which I was JUST praising for tossing out that shitty ''redemption arc''#Nope. We're right back to square one.#How much do you guys wanna bet it's ONE writer who's OBSESSED with Clear Sky and every time he writes anything he does this#I'm not sure who wrote this one but let's see if my hunch is right lmao
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