#im a poor loser 😔

[101-smoke-me-away]

This is my spongebob AU, I call it the Time Before The Fry Cook, why? Because It’s simply The Time Before The Fry Cook. SpongeBob and Patrick are in junior high and they’re a bunch of geeks, they don’t live in the Bikini bottom but next to the Bikini Bottom in a small town. Squidward is a Senior who has a part time job at the krusty krab and he lives in the Bikini Bottom. Now onto the whole reason this vomit of a masterpiece was created! PLANKTON! He’s currently in college and he’s somewhat of a nice guy still, he’s a huge nerd and he’s dating his computer girlfriend Karen because she’s the only one who’s been with him all this time <3 awwww ain’t that just sweet and adorable. Also since me and all my friends are goofy goobers one of them literally made me make squidbob canon, it’s one sided love :’0 SpongeBob likes Squidward but Squidward don’t like him :’( it’s purely satire :p, but if you like it then go ahead and like I don’t care <3 I love you anyways :)

Thanks for stopping by you sea critters <3

[tommygotwrittenoff]

still thinking about how the thing buck cared about most from his disaster first date with t was that he lied to eddie

[norrisainz33]

Seeing Doubles Pt.2 - GR63

☆ summary: George Russell attends Wimbledon and meets the tennis it girl, Y/N

☆ pairing: george russell x reader

☆ fc: none

☆ warnings: slightly suggestive, you are responsible for the content you consume

prev.

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y/nuser has added to their story

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y/bff: now he’s got you playing doubles??

y/n: yes 😔

maxverstappen1: my invite must have gotten lost in the post… you still owe me that game of padel

y/n: let’s play when i get to monaco!!

maxverstappen1: i’ll make the reservation! you better be ready for some fierce competition

y/n: i have heard you are quite the pro

landonorris: simp 🫵

y/n: yes 🤭 have you seen him?

landonorris: unfortunately i have 🤢

y/nuser posted a story

view story replies

serenawilliams: you’re going to love monaco 💙

y/n: yayyyy!! miss you lots 🤍

serenawilliams: let’s get coffee when you’re back!

y/bff: come home the kids miss you

y/n: are you the kids

y/bff: yes mommy

lilymhe: see you soon gorgeous girl

y/n: looking forward to our date 🫶🏻

alexandrasaintmleux: leo is so excited to meet you

y/n: and i am so excited to meet leo 🥹🫶🏻

alexandrasaintmleux has posted a story

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y/nuser: love you both 🫶🏻

charlesleclerc: gotta teach leo tennis early 🎾

user18: omg alex and y/n together 😭

user27: two pretty best friends fr

maxverstappen1 has made a post

liked by alex_albon, georgerussell63, y/nuser and 325,038 others

tagged: alex_albon, georgerussell63, y/nuser

maxverstappen1: learned the hard way not to invite a professional to play padel

view all 986 comments

alex_albon: we are monte carlo’s finest losers

maxverstappen1: you got that right

georgerussell63: can’t relate 💅🏻

alex_albon: georgerussell63 a rematch without y/n will have you relating real quick mate

y/nuser: besties you all did great

user11: BESTIES?! pls tell me she’s not friendzoning george

y/nuser: thanks for the invite max! hopefully alex will take some of my pointers!

maxverstappen1: you’re welcome any time y/n

alex_albon: why am i catching strays now

landonorris: i can’t believe i missed a y/n masterclass

y/nuser: landonorris next time!!

user12: hanging out with y/n? likely place for george to be

user21: and hanging out with the other drivers? never beating the georgey/n allegations

user12: georgey/n agenda stronger than ever

user16: MAX IS THE GOAT

georgerussell63 added to their story

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user12: Y/N!!!!!! I’d recognize her anywhere

user18: this post just called me poor in 8 different languages

y/nuser: thank you for such a magical weekend georgie 🤍

georgerussell63: anything for you beautiful 💙

y/nuser: anything you say? come back to bed then

georgerussell63: running back from my meeting with toto right now 🏃‍♂️

georgerussell63 has made a post

liked by maxverstappen1, mercedesamgf1, y/nuser and 608,457 others

georgerussell63: summer break you were so good to me 😉 now let’s get back to winning races 💪🏻

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user12: just dropped to my knees

user17: SUMMER LOOKS GOOD ON YOU 😫

user13: this has got to be y/n ain’t no way

landonorris: mate we get it - you’ve got a hot girlfriend please stop rubbing it in my face *comment deleted by user

maxverstappen1: mate

danielricciardo: mate

y/nuser: lando please

user12: GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!! I SAW THAT LANDO

user19: ITS OFFICIAL!

user22: EVERYONE WAKE UP NEW BRITISH ROYALTY DROPPED

user23: i don’t know if i want to be y/n or george more

user19: LOVE YOU REGINA GEORGE

y/n & george texts

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tagged: georgerussell63

y/nuser: cats outta the bag (thanks lando)! i love you my gr63 🤍

view all 543 comments

user12: BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

mercedesamgf1: welcome to the family, y/n!

georgerussell63: i love you my star 💙

landonorris: IM SORRY MOM

georgerussell63: mom?

landonorris: dad!

y/nuser: it’s ok son

georgerussell63: oh

maxverstappen1: it’s about time!

user12: max is so me

user25: max is one of us fr

maxverstappen1: padel next week?

alex_albon: not this again

y/nuser: see you at the courts max

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☆ a/n: thanks for reading! still figuring out this smau thing so bear with me!! likes and reblogs appreciated 🫶🏻

☆ let me know what driver i should write an smau for next!!

© norrisainz33: please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[truly-a-snitch]

helloo just found this blog and love ur work <3

it says requests r open but I don't trust myself and so if they are, can I request pegging w dazai and chuuya (separate ofc) w a dom reader (idk why I'm specifying is it even possible to make a sub reader peg 💀💀)

im just a woman w simple needs ik it's boring 😔👊

never fear anon i too need to peg dazai and chuuya this is not boring at all. youre gonna ravish these losers

also yes it is possible for a sub to be doing the pegging !! dom/sub is just about whos in charge/who has power in any given encounter, not whos topping/bottoming. (see: succubus reader/dazai drabble i did, dazai was on top but subbing) thank you for specifying because i probably wouldve made this dom chuuya if u hadnt lol

warnings/tags: gn reader !!, can be read as strap or dick, praise w both, hair pulling w dazai, body worship sorta w dazai, brat!chuuya, youre a lil mean to chuuya (sexual style), overstim w chuuya, pet names used: darling, dearest, thing (for dazai); hon, toy (for chuuya)

---

Dazai

He was so easy to please when you actually managed to get him bent over something- usually a counter in your kitchen, though this time you had actually made it to the bedroom before bending him over. All it took was a few nice words and well-placed kisses, and he unraveled underneath you. Today seemed to be no exception.

"Ah, fuck," Osamu whined when you thrusted into him particularly harshly, melting into the sheets.

"Shh, I know, darling," you teased, admiring the way he squirmed under you, barely able to hold himself up anymore. You had covered him with hickies so dark you wondered for a moment how long they would take to fade. (A week? Two?) "Such a good little thing for me, taking me so well. There we go, dearest."

He was shaking already. As was expected. The poor darling was incredibly touchstarved, it only made sense he'd be so sensitive.

"Aw, you gonna cum? Poor thing," you said, fingers finding his hair and carding gently through, then yanking his head back harshly and earning a whimper at the movement. His mouth opened to try and formulate a reply, but he fell into moans again instead at a harsh thrust on your part. His arms gave out under him, and he melted into the sheets all over again.

"Fuck," he hissed. If you didn't know him better you'd assume you had hurt him. "Fuck, 'm close."

You cooed gently when he let out a moan that hitched up into a whimper, somehow falling even more pliant under you. You leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to his neck, and he shivered.

"Go ahead and cum whenever, darling," you said, and only a moment later he let out a broken groan as he came. You gently worked him through it, only pulling out when he was twitching from the aftershocks of orgasm and his fingers scrambled for hold in the sheets, as if he wanted to anchor himself to something. As if he feared you'd overstimulate him.

(You weren't above that, so he was definitely right to be worried, but you would just save that for next time.)

Chuuya

Chuuya talks a lot of shit for a man who so easily melts under you. He likes to tease you, get you all riled up while he's protected by the veil of being out in public. Always keeps it up until you get back to your shared apartment where- if he's teased you enough- he usually gets dragged to the bedroom by the collar of his shirt. (Or, on days you feel like meticulously unwinding him and teasing him right back, a palm pressed firmly to his lower back.)

Like right now.

Because, as usual, he had gone and teased you all day. It had worsened during dinner, with him purposely using phrases and pet names and the like, ones that he knew got your mind wandering. Ones he knew he'd deal with the consequences of the moment you got home.

And he was pinned beneath you right now, one arm twisted almost painfully behind his back and the other struggling to hold himself up.

He let out a whine as he tried to rock his hips back into yours.

"Hm? What's that, hon?" you asked, gripping his arm a bit tighter, twisting it a bit farther- and his hips stilled again. He breathed in pointedly, and a shiver visibly ran up his spine. "Feels good, I take it?"

"You are so mean," he muttered, voice shaky. Almost breaking. It was as if his resolve was about to give in on itself, about to collapse under its own weight.

"I know, how dare I give my darling toy what he's been begging for all night," you teased. "Don't think I didn't see what you were doing at dinner, hon. Those bedroom eyes are going to be the death of me one of these days."

He shivered again, and the tension began to melt out of his frame. You recognized this. He was close.

"Aw, hon, you gonna cum?" you teased, pace relentless. He nodded and let out a low moan. "Already? I've hardly had my fun yet."

Chuuya shivered again, let out a sharp whine, and a moment later he was spilling over. The tension in his body completely evaporated, and a moment later he was biting back an overstimulated sob as you kept going.

"Fuck, wait, it hurts," he said, voice shakily. "Slow down."

"Hm?" you hummed, then pretended to contemplate. "No, hon, I don't think so. You wanted me so badly earlier, whispering the dirtiest things in my ear on the train. You could hardly contain yourself. It'd be downright cruel of me to stop now."

[icetobes]

a rollercoaster of fucking emotions

911 thoughts s7 e5

- HAND MAN

- alien hand ?? lmao

- hen and her knowlate 🫶🏻

- lmao pleasee they’re struggling so much lmao

- oh bucks being choked

- bobby 🫶🏻

- oh eddie… um

- HES CHOKING BUCK AGAIN ??? oh dear

- kinda funny… those poor guys

- HENREN 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 MOTHERSSSS

- THEYRE GETTING A LITTLE GIRL

- i’m so excited this is aaaa

- NO WHAT 😭😭😭

- they’re ??? not ??? getting a little girl ????

- i’m devastated they can’t do this to me i was so excited why would they do this to me

- another girl ?? a nine year old :((((

- they’re the best chance :((( aaa

- THE DATE OH MY GOD

- HERE WE GO

- they’re going to a movie 🥹🥹

- evan.

- HES SO AAA

- the 118 was a regressive place… you did that ngl but it’s okay

- “i’m not lying” BUCK BABY

- “date with a dude” 😭

- A RAINBOE ON HIS INSTA HES SO CUTE 😭😭

- “i guess it’s just me that makes you nervous” IM GONNA AAAA

- HOT CHICKS buck stop ??? help

- SHES MOVING IN ??? HELP MEEEE NOOOO

- EW I CANT

- CLOSET SPACE “right evan” IM GONNA DIE

- he’s so awkward :(((

- “it’s mine”

- “i think you’re adorable but i don’t think you’re ready” IM SOBBING NO

- BABY BUCK NO PLEASE IM SNSOSBSKSBSSI I CANT DO THIS

- aaaa henren again 🥹🫶🏻

- the blanket is the only thing she has left :((

- hen understanding non-verbal i’m going to CRY

- denny is so sweet im aaaaa

- karen getting emotional me too babe

- THE TEDDY AAAA 🥹🥹🥹

- lied to eddie…

- BUCK

- a date…

- he’s not saying it…

- OUTNOF THE WAY

- “this person” he’s so 🫶🏻

- a MARRIED WOMAN IM SO

- “who it is isn’t the point”

- “HE”

- BACK GO THE PRONOUN

- IM AN ALLY BUCK STOP

- “more than an ally”

- “didn’t think that’s where you’re interests lie” eddie diaz

- CHEKC OUT A HOT GUYS ASS

- “EDDIES FRIEND”

- he came out to maddie… kinda im shaking

- THE HOT PILOT BAOSBSOSDB

- eddie and … her… ew

- IM GONNA DIE I CANT DO THIS

- STOP THAT

- i need him to find something dumb

- THE CACTUS “you’re kinda cool” he’s a loser i love him

- A NUN ??? NO WAY SHES ACTUALLY A NUN

- SHUT THE GUCK IP THATS SO FUNNY

- HES QUESTIONING HIS WHOLE LIFE

- IMAGINING HER AS A NUN I CANT IM CRYING

- karen 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

- oh the teddy bear:(

- mara are you okay :((

- oh she’s :(( poor baby :((

- buck at the stationnn

- EDDIE IN THE GYM

- GYM SCENE GYM SCENE

- “you are here early” buck you are literally so awkward

- a avoid not having sex ??? what

- CATHOLIC GUILT OH MY GOD YOURE DAY

- “SHE WAS A NUN” “oh”

- he’s so angry about her past as a nun im crying

- not the cross help…

- GO TO CAP 😭😭😭

- “you looked like you wanted to tell me something” uh

- hen and bobby time

- talk about mara :((

- that poor baby :(

- i hope she realises she’s safe she deserves it

- oh denny :( he’s so sweet i can’t

- karen kinda side eyeing her… don’t make me dislike you :(

- her blanket is her safety net 😭🫶🏻

- “this isn’t working out” NO YOU GOTTA MAKE HER SAFE

- i need this storyline to work out good it’s got to i need this

- BOBBBY TALKING TO EDDIEEE

- second thoughts about moving in BOBBY YOU ARE GOOD

- panic attacks mention

- a commitment phobe

- SHANNON

- demisexual eddie diaz i WILL have you one day

- “only you know that” but i don’t think he does tho

- go to confession hehe

- a dog attack …

- ARE THEY COMPARING A DOG TO THEIR FOSTER GIRL ??? STOP THAT

- they’re literally comparing a dog and a child i can’t

- and they’re vets now ???

- is this twice they’ve saved a dog

- dog :D

- they asked athena 😭😭

- “are you sure” oh my god i’m gonna cry aren’t i ??

- “i don’t want to be another name in a long list of people who failed her” 😔😔😔

- THEYVE ASKED MADDIE TOO

- her little voice oh my heart is breaking

- oh my god :(( mara you poor sweet baby i hope you get the love and safety and happiness you deserve

- i’m crying i can’t do this

- “she was afraid we weren’t goig to wake up” ILL SOB

- LOFT

- LOFT

- LOFT

- “she wants to know what i want for dinner��� lmao

- DO I??? stay in the loft 🤭🤭🤭

- NOT WITH GOD WATCHING LMAO

- “i’m gonna have to break up with her” omg best idea you’ve had

- “you and tommy have the best idea”

- IT WAS A DATE

- OH SHIT

- OMG

- WE WERE ON A DATE

- “really?”

- “WAIT TOMMYS GAY” IS SO FUNNY ???

- not questinging buck but tommy 😭😭😭😭

- “is that weird” “NO ABSOLUTELY NOT”

- this do in t change a thing between us

- “he dumped me”

- HE CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM :((((

- “you should call him”

- ONCE HE GETS TO KNOW YOU

- i’m so happy aaaaa

- TURN AROUND AGBTHE DOOR

- VOME HERE

- HUG

- “call tommy”

- not them exiting with a parallel lmao

- hi eddie

- “heyyyy” hes so awkward

- dinner with her brother girl-

- HES SO AWKWARD STOP YOU LOSER I LOVE HIM

- “guy who needs a minute” eddie diaz im in your fucking walls

- DONT YET HER ILL KMS

- EW

- STRAIGHT EDDIE GET OUT OF HERE PLEASE

- “can’t wait to move out” me either LMAO ME

- karen my love 🫶🏻

- the blanket slowly coming down, like a barrier coming down

- “you’re safe here even if it doesn’t feel that way yet” :(((( AAAAAAAA

- SHE SPOKE :((( baby spoke im so proud of her im not okay

- CRYING RN

- BUCK ????

- did he call tommy 🤭🤭

- omg hiiii

- coffee date aaaa

- “mmm so not like that” LMAO

- “i would like to change that” aaa

- “i didn’t want to pressure you” AAAAAAAAAAA

- “i don’t know what im ready for but i am ready for something” i can’t do this

- “COME WITH ME TO MY SISTERS WEDDING” BUCKA AOSJDODBDDIS

- “evan.”

- HOLY SHIT

- DATE TO A WEDDING

- “i need someone to dance with” HOLY SHIT

- HUH

- STOP WEDDIGN ????

- EVERYONE STOP

- OH CLIFFHANGER

- BUCK AND EDDIE WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

- 80s THEMED PARTY

- THE WEDDING IS THE CLIFFHANGER

- WHERE CHIM???

[uc1wa]

Haiiii I’m the one who asked for plug Roy Tehehe :3c

But anwyas hear me out

Loser Dick Grayson or Roy Harper (can you tell who my favorite character is?)

Dick is one of those gym bro losers, like the ones on Tiktoc who post thirst traps and them in their car trying to be funny by talking super loud then laughing but everyone eats it up? (I’m into them.)

The ones who spend all their time at the gym and think theyer so cultured because they know of feminism has daddy’s money

Roy is the loser who works at 9-5 dead end job (maybe like Spencer’s or at a gas station) and just smokes all day once he gets home and fights kids on x-box live, dosnt even contribute to anything

They both somehow get their dicks wet every other weekend and then leaves the girls they hooked up with on read till their lonely but we’re special so that didn’t happen and their super pathetic. Roy dosnt really do much he knows how to get a girl to finish but he does it in a lazy way and mostly just wants to get himself off. Dick is the same but at least he is more enthusiastic about it. Both don’t really care if the girl they’re with that week even finishes, he just doesn’t wanna be rude. But when they met you and decided “yeah, that’s my next fuck”, they do their usual, compliment you in a subtle way, talk about stuff you might be interested in, crack some jokes then ask for your number.

You guys talk for a few weeks (it’s 2, 3 1/2 if you’re busy 💀) At first you didn’t agree but when they send you a picture of them waring a pair of sweat pants and a wife beater (I’m sorry, im such a sucker for men in black wife beaters I like- AAAA)

You finally agree. At first they expected you to be like the other girls, kinda Submissive, but shy, and quick. But boy oh boy-

Once you both are in the sheets it’s over for him. Bro is whimpering and moaning, CRYING, TEARS ARE STREAMING, he’s sniffing and stuff asking to cum cause you won’t let him, refused to put his dick in cause he was lowkey being a dick to you ngl- you finally ride him and he’s about to cum but you do before him and get off leaving him all shocked. You give him a kiss on the cheek and say thanks then leave. He’s like

“WHATT???”

And bro spam texts you, calls you, even dming you on Instagram a voice message of hun begging you to come back and help him finish.

But yeah, I love pathetic losers 😔😔😔💔

babe… this was a mini fic in itself. thank u for sharing. will be thinking about this for so long, my additions under the cut :3

these both turned me on i won’t admit but… your detail to roy… oh god. he’s such a fucking loser i NEED to fuck him NOW!!!

can i add? roy’s breath only smells like monster energy drinks, so nasty but you only taste it when his tongue is sucking yours so of course it leaves connotations of yummy-ness! cums all over you and, if he’s feeling nice, throws you a rag while he goes in the shower himself—without an invite of course. poor you :( all left out, naked n bare n cold.

dick would def get pissed if you joined him in the shower. don’t you know he brought you to his dingy apartment to fuck you and be done with you? c’mon now.

but the thought of getting these man whores pussy drunk is just so. oh god. them sending dick pics to you when you haven’t responded, thinking that’ll have to get you to answer. of course they’re wrong, and manipulate you into feeling so bad with how many times they’ve told you that you’ve given them blue balls, you have to fuck them again >:3

anyways! i hope you liked my lil plug!roy drabble, trust i have one too many drafts of roy and dick as plugs.

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

thousand autumns donghua, episode 8~

OHHH he's the junior preceptor?? what an interesting title!! i have no idea what it means!! is that like 'guoshi' from tian guan ci fu, perhaps?? a similar title, maybe?? WAIT THE OLD MAN IS BULLYING BIRBS??? UNACCEPTABLE. I WILL PECK OUT HIS EYES >:V oh so they're competing for Number One Temple now?? have they already decided on the top ten brothels and five-star inns of the jianghu?? are the temples the only thing left to be ranked?? lol yan wushi curled up on the other side of the table before he stands up looks so fecking funny, i wish i could take a screenshot, he's like a lil purple daruma 🤣 SHEN QIAO IS OUTRAGED!! yws: why do u care what those losers do?? btw u lost this game so u have to do my chores >:) shen qiao: i mean….i guess i'll do it :/ ilu announcer man whose job is to shout the guests' names jfc shen qiao u couldn't even be bothered to dress up?? put on a different jacket or something?? ok then i actually find the random 'normal looking' side character and bg characters to be a bit more pleasing to look at than the super-pretty main dudes lol. might just be personal taste tho 😅 UH-OH HE LOOKS FOREIGN. WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS ngl he's kind of hot tho Duan Wenyang is STYLISH AF. vaguely menacing, but TOGGED TO THE BRICKS, as they say!! (idk anyone who actually says this) dwy: OH CHIEF DISCIPLE?? u can be our witness!! sq: im blind :/ WHY DO FIGHTS ALWAYS BREAK OUT WHEN PPL ARE EATING owo who dis??? he's even MORE stylish!!! wow ;A; the old man splayed out over his divan like a TART, robes hanging open like a TART, his hair LOOSE and FREE like a TART honestly i have the most fun with the fight scenes and watching yan wushi menace random ppl for his own amusement OH SHIT ITS JGY'S BIG BRO i don't TRUST HIM, he wears a HAT and MISTREATS MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS >:( yws: wow, ur such a creep. #cancelled BIG JGY U STOP HURTING THAT POOR INSTRUMENT!! is that a qin?? it makes such a pretty sound ;A; i want oneeeeee ;A; OOOOH PHOENIX POWERS!! YWS IS SUCH A BADASS OH MY GOOOODDDDD!!! HOLY SHIT!! GET EM OLD MAN, SHOW EM WHAT'S WHAT!!! WELL DONE!!! :DDD yeessssss MORE FIGHT SCENES!!! duan wenyang has got a whip and the li qingyu has got a really pretty sword!!! dwy: see y'all another time! :D poor shen qiao has to keep telling ppl that he's not the chief anymore, that can't be easy on him ;A; OH LOOK DWY IS BACK. i guess when he said 'another time' he meant 'in ten minutes' lol GET EM SHEN QIAO!! li qingyu thought shen qiao was a bad dude??? wtf??? WHO HAVE U BEEN LISTENING TO. WHO COULD CALL MY SWEET SHEN QIAO A BAD DUDE. HE'S LITERALLY SO INOFFENSIVE??? god the music SLAPS OH CRAP HE BROKE THE BAMBOO STICK----OOH NICE CATCH!!! lmao shen qiao immediately showing the other guy up after praising him for his good martial arts 🤣 HE'S SO POLITE. I LOVE SHEN QIAO lmaooo li qingyu seems quite nice as well, 'u can stay with us instead of the old man, if u like, we don't mind! :D' ASDFGHGFDS THIS KID WANTS TO PAINT SHEN QIAO 'bro ur like. SO HOT. LIKE A CELESTIAL BEING. WAY HOTTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. LET ME PAINT U PLS ;A;' i roast him, but as an artist i understand his pain 😔 sometimes u see someone so beautiful, u really can't help urself 😔 OH I SEE. duan wenyang and kehan dude and big jgy are all IN LEAGUE with each other!! innnnch restinggggg 👀👀 DON'T TRUST THE JGY SHAPED MAN, FELLAS. DON'T U SEE HIS HAT. DIDN'T U SEE WHAT HE DID TO THAT INSTRUMENT. IT'S A BAD IDEA ALL ROUND u know yan wushi barely evil laughed AT ALL during this episode. how disappointing 😔

[jinkicake]

Currently T-minus 6 days until scaramouche birthday and the worst day of my life😔like he’s been outside my bedroom door for the last few nights. Like ik that this mf has the nastiest sex EVER like the fanart community out?? They released him on purpose this close to Christmas(btw felt like another Tuesday like lmao how boring I bought albedo cat stickers to feel something) like I’m trying to be toxic w him but not really; the couple that’s always play arguing and making fun of other people. He can’t even get anyone pregnant but in albedo fashion he will fuck like he’s trying for a kid!! Clears his whole schedule (fatui scaramouche ig)so he can do nothing but pump you full of his cum, like he’s very messy I feel like the sheets are always ruined so you gotta keep a spare on the nightstand or something. Like he’s always trying to fuck in público places like he gets jealous very easily and he can do the whole lmao this ass is mine. But if he sees some loser ass fatui grunt still trying after he’s made is week he’ll he will literally call him into his office to reprimand him and like while he tries to explain himself he hears you choke bc he pushes your head all the way down without warning and he pays your head saying some shit like “don’t be rude I’m having a meeting” like he’s gunna absolutely dominante you and the poor bastard will have to watch like he can’t hear you slurping down there😔😔 “ their mouth feels really good, that why you been harassing them instead of doing your job?” Probably makes you cockwarm him but it’s fake bc when you beg he says you can ride him immediately.(as I will like lmao i am slamming down on him) but he’s just looking him dead in the eyes with the most bored glare. Slips his hand down in between your legs like he’s scrolling on his phone or something 😭 “hurry up and cum already you’re ruining my pants.” Or “you can’t to be good and cum on my cock?go head” and holds you tight as your eyes roll back and that grunt much less any other one talks to you again. Likes cute outfits!! Like he’s gunna buy you expensive intricate lingerie JUST to tear it off you. Will sit you on his face until you hit his head to try and get away. He’s such a Fucking menace😒 I feel like he would tie you up and leave wanting

omg only five days until the birthday bash of the year?! we're starting off strong! you guys are going to do a joint thing right looool

scara is really hoyo's new 'it boy' and as of right now, i dont hate it kekeke

omggg lemme see the stickerssss i want xiao stickers so badly hehe i might order some

bruh i just had a thought about clay man like he cant get you pregnant either but hear me out w albedo's big brain he would figure out a way to get you pregnant LMFAO like you gonna have some clay babies or something.... if he really wants it... (yandere!albedo impregnating you w/o you knowing oof- crazy!) but yeah no kid for scara (thank gawd!)

NO bc scaramouche is such a pathetic loser because he would so try to make a claim on you in public after another fatui agent glances at you.... like hed take any excuse to fuck you smh

honestly, i like pathetic!scaramouche (what does that say about me?!) like mean but pathetic scaramouche who has no problem yelling at you but then cries when you leave him LMAO

he pretends like he doesnt give a fuck while pleasuring you but in reality he's so deep in his mind making sure that he's doing everything right LOL like im sorry but i cant have scara not interested like he needs to be obsessed or i wont care about him-

oh he's so the type to put you in pretty panties, have you sit on his face and then just lock his arms around your thighs and then eat you out until you pass out- hes evil!

and he would so tie you up to the bed and leave you there as a punishment, to embarrass you even further he might leave the bedroom door open just a bit so that anyone who passes by (childe, signora) can get a glance

((side note: i hope you have a happy new year my dear!!! </3 and some good albedo dreams~))

[crowning-art]

TGCF SPOILERS

--------------------------------------

THEY TURNED INTO A FREAKING SWORD?!?? THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME I CANT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FUNNY

THIS IS BASICALLY THEM LMAO I CANT STOP LAUGHING

I never thought I would EVER use a transformers gif for TGCF of all things 😂

Stop Qi Ying is a literal puppy it's so adorable

Yin Yu had already snuck behind someone’s back to hide, but he was instantly picked out by Quan Yizhen. He jumped up and shouted, “SHIXIONG!”

Of all the reactions...this guy's reaction to hualian kissing is smt else lmao

Pei Ming: “Ho ho.”

Ok Santa Claus

AND THEN THIS MESS OF A CONVO OH MY GOD AND Qi Ying like ohhh that's how u borrow powers and everyone's like ok, who's gonna tell him?

Xie Lian accidentally choked a bit and only then did he break away. He didn't dare to look down, and shouted towards the sky, “B BORROWING SPIRITUAL POWERS! I’M ONLY BORROWING SPIRITUAL POWERS! VERY PROPER!”

Mu Qing was shaken too. “YOU DIDN’T NEED TO DO THIS TO BORROW SPIRITUAL POWERS THOUGH??? JUST A SLAP OR A SMACK OR SOMETHING WOULD’VE BEEN FINE???”

Xie Lian didn’t know what he was saying anymore, either, and cried randomly, “HAHAHAHA! I’VE BEEN SEEN THROUGH! IT’S NOT ACTUALLY BORROWING ANY SPIRITUAL POWERS! HAHAHAHA…”

FINALLY! JUN WU TOOK SO LONG TO COME DJJDJDJF but hey he's here to save the day!!

This was so poetic and like metaphorical but I'll explain that metaphor some other day lol

After Xie Lian stopped controlling it, that giant stone divine statue was still obediently lying on the ground, a gigantic, exquisitely-sculpted thing. Now that it’d fallen down, it also looked like a small mountain.

Imagine being Qi Ying and waking up and finding yourself in this random demonic place, and then u knock out, and you're a doll and you knock put and suddenly u r being forced into being a sword lmaoo

However, Quan Yizhen was confused. “Why am I going to the west? Just what exactly are we doing right now?”

No one could blame him for not knowing what was going on. Perhaps, he was confused the entire way: Why was he beaten? Why was he buried inside a wall? Why was he turned into a daruma doll? And why did he have to turn into a sword, too? There was not a single point where he’d figured out what was happening.

I CALLED IT AGAIN!!! (I think! I'm pretty sure I did...somewhere) but Goushi was so suspicious I KNEW IT

If Guoshi truly lived in this world for longer than Jun Wu, then the possibility he was one of the Four Guardians of the Crown Prince of Wuyong was even greater!

AYYYY HEAVEN'S EYE IS BACK! Love those funky losers lol

Wait, oh my God wait no oh my God no this has got be a joke, like my heart acc cracked PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS JUST A JOKE that poor beggar with his limbs cut off....was wind Master? Our beloved wind Master???? I literally feel like crying my heart is breaking so much

DID HE XUAN REALLY HAVE TO DO ALL THAT??? WAS THIS REALLY WHAT BROUGHT HIM SATISFACTION AHDUDJDJD UGHHHH IM SO PISSED AND SAD AND UPSET AND ANGRY AND EVERYTHING

My poor beloved wind master....

I am so sad 😔

[deutoplasmic]

POOR JUNKI LMAO i can already hear the loud whining noises in my head asking why YOU get special treatment,,,

LMAO takumi’s special skill fr 😭

HE ISSSS hes a softie but the funniest thing is hes not even the biggest crybaby in the group 😭 that title goes to my bias jinsik who is just the sweetest boy ever 🥲

yea omg filipinos are. intensely patriotic lmao but yea filipino-style spaghetti is great!! yea the sauce is tomato based ^^

YEA UH lets just say my ds games werent all. legal lmao HDNDJDJ my parents would bring me and my siblings to a shop to 🏴‍☠️ some games and we never questioned it 😭

OOF PLAYFIGHTING TAKERU,,, now thats the dream right there. he would win without question but that shouldnt stop you from trying. and yknow what? youre the real winner for being able to provoke him LMAOKDJDKD

HES SUCH A LOSER omg i was considering an au where he's a professional soccer player and you can't care less about it so he tries coercing you. or rather pestering you. into seeing the light. also junki seems like the chronically offline type of guy for sure

speaking of special skills rihito not blinking in the same ep and just desperately tearing up?????? WAY TOO FUNNY.

REALLY 🤣 they're a group of sensitive boys !!!!!! OH MY GOD his idol is XIAOJUN i can't believe it xiaojun is now trailblazing the youth that's crazy. AND HES FRIENDS WITH YOUNGK????? crazy oh my days i feel like im proving the six degrees of separation theory

omg wait no i mean what you guys call ketchup sorry 😰 and omfg my brother keeps telling me how tiktok is a cesspool of overly patriotic filipinos lmfao..... ILL HAVE TO TRY IT i am not fortunate enough to have a jollibees here so 😔 it's all gyg and kfc and maccas and whatever

I RESPECT THAT. saving money oh yeah 😎 i can't believe they don't produce the ds anymore like it was perfect. beautiful.... also omg you have siblings??? based on vibes alone i think i'm getting middle child

OK YEAH he prides himself on being a cool reliable guy but you just rile him up he can't help it 🤣 omg. au where he's a comedian and you adamantly do not laugh at his jokes and he's lost for words bc everyone laughs at him.....! what is he doing wrong?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WRONG oh he's in a dilemma which is the part that's genuinely funny

[seokgyuu]

Ik im fighting a losing battle but where are my fellow challenge me team wonwoo members 😔😔😔😔 is he an asshole simp loser? Maybe. But am i in love with him? Absolutely. Its not even her bc im convinced that relationship will not last considering the circumstances but poor wonu deserves a happy ending he's been through enough 🗣

BABES i’m so sorry ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 i fear wonwoo has had his time to shine 😔😔 it would be too complicated and while she is a lot of things she’s not someone who’s gonna get inbetween brothers! (do not mind that she literally fucked her best friends brother ok that’s DIFFERENT). i do think he deserves a happy ending tho!!! so, just stay tuned heheh.

[sugarcherriess]

1. That is so cute 🥺 I will keep your secret

2. Oh no I hope you're okay 🥺 he will give you massage and kisses

3. I want it so very bad and I am so very curious what do you mean strange 👀

4.I have been unwell :( - 🥛

Its written like something you’d read under the loser anime fan who gets zero bitches and thinks a hentai character is his actual gf would read 💀💀💀💀💀💀 very much insane and “i have to put my phone down and reevaluate my choices in life” strange

WHY HAVE YOU BEEN UNWELL🔪🔪🔪👺👺👺👺👺👺 what have you been doing to your poor body 💔 cant believe im gonna have to send Juyeon in to take care of you 💔😔✋🏼

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

qianqiu/thousand autumns, ep 4~

i can't believe the old man's calling him 'a-qiao~' in BROAD MOONLIGHT in front of EVERYONE'S SALADS amazing bai rong, stop bullying ppl u find attractive. they'll never love u that way! unless they have. very specific relationship needs. in which case. pls carry on 😳 bai rong: call me peony~ shen qiao: no :) ur barking up the wrong tree missy. something tells me that shen qiao is not interested in ladies.... 👀 LMAO MORE PPL CALLING SHEN QIAO PRETTY i mean, they're RIGHT. it's just funny that it keeps happening apropos of nothing 🤣 STOP CHOKING THE POOR MAN JFC HE'S GOING TO SUFFOCATE ONE OF THESE DAYS uh bai rong and the hood man are having their own…..thing rn. i dont think they need shen qiao for anything, they've uh. got it covered 😳 shen qiao: u should go on without me, im dying of victorian novel disease. i mean danmei protagonist disease. chen gong: NOOO why u want to leave meeee? i was so good and loyal to u! i would certainly never betray u out of self-preservation or greed!! ;A; WAIT SO THIS GUY WANTS TO he wants to take someone else's face…..off?? like, his face………off? to take….his face…………….off? hmmmmm xueyin: maybe if i say enough hail marys this guy will leave me alone 😒 awww poor chen gong having nightmares about john travolta and nicholas cage coming after him, that's so sad 😔 shen qiao is such a sweetheart ;A; 'u didn't help all that much but here, take my money and save ur own skin' how kind ;A; yws: heh, scared off the competition >:) OH NO RUN CHEN GONG!! DONT LET THOSE ARSEHOLES GET U!!! OH GOD ;A; well that's one way to hire a new servant i guess?? OH HE'S oh he's tiger food. WAIT NO DONT BE SO COWARDLY CHEN GONG!! but i mean…..its not like shen qiao couldn't take all of these clowns with his shillelagh tied behind his back. bringing them to him to fight like fish in a barrel is actually almost helpful lmao. now he won't have to do it later! :D 'chen gong, u know how to drive right??' 'get in losers, we're going to do martial arts!!' lol duke sadface is wibbling away like 'noooo mister pls dont hurt me, i was just killing peasants for fun, im so innocent uwu' shen qiao is so understanding!! he let chen gong go ;A; what a good boy ;A; and THEN he ruined duke sadface's day!! even better! :D WH CHEN GONG NO U GOT A SECOND CHANCE U LITTLE EEJIT DON'T SPOIL IT D:< poor shen qiao, he's all alone, walking everywhere and coughi--DAMN IT YAN WUSHI!! WOULD U GET OUT OF HERE?!?! WHERE DID U EVEN COME FROM?? WHOSE HANDKERCHIEF IS THAT AND WHAT WERE U DOING WITH IT BEFOREHAND?? yws: *evil laughs flirtatiously* HOMOEROTIC FIGHTING??? YES PLEASE :D shen qiao: 'what do u want from me?' MY LAD HE WANTS TO SLEEP WITH U. DO NOT TRUST HIM, HE IS AFTER UR TENDER AND SUPPLE FLESH!! THE NIGHT SKY CANNOT COMPARE WITH THE STARS IN UR EYES!! HE WANTS U TO BE HIS WIFE!! yws: *literally sweeps shen qiao off his feet and whisks him away unconscious* 'this is nothing personal btw. i would do this for anyone. u mean absolutely nothing to me' whatever u say yan wushi....whatever u say 👀👀👀