#im a mess rn and i have nothing to do | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

showaboutdeath · 25 days

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hi im bored

Selfshippers!! Reblog with your F/O and/or your S/I (Max: 1 each) and I'll doodle them.

Examples below

note: these wont be super good and I'll be taking a small amount of submissions. also, i'm visiting family rn so bear with me in terms of timing. im within my right to not fufill a request if i feel i wont be able to do it. will be edited when i close it

edit: CLOSED!! i will get to these as soon as i can, ty!!

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natsmagi · 1 year

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OKAY SORRY FOR SPAMMING LAST ONE BUT SPEAKING OF HIM BEING A SWEETHEART THIS HASNT LEFT MY HEAD

WE GOT A FUCKING CHARMER ON OUR HANDS!!!!!!! oh but he really is so sweet and kind and loving its no wonder like everyone i come across yumes him. What a cute little guy......

little tangent but one of the hills i will die on is i think people play into his rudeness and "edginess" way too much bc like. Hes really only mean to tsumugi (justifiable) and at times his classmates because he thinks theyre being annoying (also justifiable i say) and he really isnt that edgy hes just alt. hes just an alt dude. and being alt isnt abt satan worship or whatever the hell its purely just about expressing urself in a fun and unique way thats true to u. he does struggle with managing his emotions and doesnt have the healthiest outlet for it but these things dont make him a cruel person....... he just. like. has alot of shit going on. and hes weird. but time and time again we see natsume want to help and assist people. he looks out for the underdogs aswell as his fellow classmates and colleagues (although he wont be the most upfront about it and may shield it behind some grand performance or w/e. points at ms alkaloid) and then u have his entire relationships with anzu and sora. him just being incredibly sweet with the absence of his shy+stubbornness u might find with people like tsumugi

TLDR I THINK HE IS VERY SWEET AND HIS SWEETNESS SHOULD BE HIGHLIGHTED MORE ESP SINCE ITS A VERY CONSISTENT FACTOR OF HIS CHARACTER

#people should read switch stories i think. that would be epic #anyway im a natsumugi artist though which means i gotta portray him being a cruel little shit every now and then. as is my duty #oh and he is just naturally a big tease ofc #be it with anzu or people like souma #he enjoys messing with people #but thats just him being silly and having fun #let him be silly and have fun #ask #me telling myself im not gonna write a natsume analysis bc i got shit to do rn and then doing so anyway #WHATEVER THIS ISNT A PROPER ANALYSIS DONT TAKE THIS AS GOSPEL IM TLAKING OUT OF MY ASS #IM JUST SAYING WORDS #THERES ALWAYS MORE NUANCE AND INSTANCES THAT I HAVENT TACKLED OR GIVEN THOUGHT RN AND YADA YADA WHATEVER. THIS IS A BRAINSTORM #MEANS NOTHING

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the-kipsabian · 1 year

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happy pride month 🌈

support your local cryptid queer creator mayhaps

#i dont plug my ko-fi a lot rn cause i have nothing to offer in return for tips but anyways #its pride month. im far from the only or the best creator in this community but im still here #so like. yeah #anyways #im gonna write now. maybe i dont provide visual arts anymore but damn do i like writing #night is an absolute mess on main #you know what im gonna pin it for now why not

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glitterghost · 1 year

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Feeling the ace-solation tonight.

#asexual #aromantic even #it just feels like the whole world looks at marriage and kids as endgame and holy fuck no #people only ever focus on who is dating who and when are you having kids and when are you getting married #like what the fuck #im over here thinking about how much time i can mash together seeing friends #and what books i want to read and bring me joy #and always thinking about these fictional worlds that have brought me so much more happiness than this one #like you belong somewhere else #like what do you do when you know nothing is wrong with you but sure as hell know others would think there is if they KNEW you #in all your ace or aro or whatever else glory #i just want quiet and peace without this looming feeling of people looking at you like youre supposed to be doing more #like you're in some fucked up timeline of having to achieve these life goals that sure as fuck arent yours #like please leave me tf alone #make the norm be however you get your happiness is the goal #the feels are real tonight #an untethered feeling of floating away or something #dont mind me im going back to my asmr videos #these tags are a mess rn

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meatexe · 4 days

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What's your build on Elden Ring right now?

im starting completely over n am only 4-5 hours into this playthrough but um i wanted to play w some dragon incantation stuff so i’m going prophet n the plan is eventually a high arcane build w reduvia n dragon communion. uh my entire set up is a fucking mess rn, atm im rockin w uchigatana just bc i knew where it was at n i had to stab sleepy dragon for some runes n hearts. rn i’m just running around n grinding but eventually i’ll go take out some dwagons for their incantations ^3^

#this answered nothing rly #lots of stone sword key n smithing stone spot hitting is all thts happening rn :T #i havent even replaced my armor yet im running around barefoot n squishy as hell #my playthrough is a mess rn n i have a very loose idea of what im gonna do #last time i did a warrior n think the time before tht i did wretch just to be funny but rly nobody was laughing n it was awful #also nobody yell at me for sleepy dragon cheese i believe in cheating to make games fun :T #im the worst elden ring player ever but thank u for asking anyway <3 #ask.exe

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olli-online · 21 days

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#i wish i could pinpoint what exactly has my mood all messed up rn #my brain is just recycling the same thoughts the second i open my eyes #how many times do i have to tell myself to prepare to be discarded because i have nothing to offer anyone. myself alone isnt good enough and #never has been or ever will be. i have to make up for it and still i show up empty handed #like ive run out of things to give. which i guess is true. how do i give what im still trying to rebuild #as cliche as it sounds its true that everyone i have ever loved has taken some part of me with them that i cant get back #i wish i was still kind and openly loving. i wish i wasnt full of dread. i wish i could love any part of myself. i wish for too much i know #i wish i knew when to leave well enough alone #i wish i could tell where im truly wanted #ugh #anyways i need to find smth to do to shut my brain off or just pass out again

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nerdie-faerie · 2 months

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So I'm supposed to be in London tomorrow for a 9am meeting. Just went to check my ticket which I specified I wanted to arrive at 8am for..... and it departs at 11:35pm and gets me there....... the day after my appointment 🤦‍♀️

#ace is a mess #travel tag #so glad i checked but fck my life im screwed #theres nothing i can do this late #im panic looking rn but i dont think its an option id checked a couple of hours before? who knows #i can get a flight thatll cost over £100 thatll get me there on time.... but i have no way to get to the airport cus i live in a stupid tow #im gonna cry of course this would happen i cant correct my ticket because the correct coach is now sold out obviously #might need to book another visa appointment and pay for all new travel 😭#*edit: ive booked another coach. itll get me to london 10 minutes before my appointment and then i still have to travel to the embassy #but i cant book another appointment while i have an existing appointment and although a flight would get me there in time #i cant get to the fcking airport cus i cant drive and theres no travel options this late cus im an idiot #aaah shoulda checked earlier god this whole summer camp process has been too stressful i need a coma

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dandyshucks · 4 months

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i want to draw specific digital art ideas but i want to write but i want to draw things for other ppl but i want to start my next crochet project but i want to play a video game that's been sitting in my steam library untouched for ages but i want to draw in my sketchbook but i want to - etc etc etc 😭

#and so i sit and do nothing bc i cannot make up my mind about which to work on fsdjkl #i think ''okay just choose one and go do it.'' and then... sit here bc i can't choose one HFDSGJKL #i try to use a wheel spinner but that messes w the brain gophers for some strange reason #also i need to work on cleaning as always HFDSJKL #AUGHHH I HAVE TOO MANY IDEAS #its like... marbles in a marble tower and theyre all in the funnel and jostling for position so nobody can make it down the funnel #the only thing keeping me sane rn is that im listening to the da vinci c.ode audiobook LOL #otherwise i'd just be sitting here going insane all day JFDSJKL #dandy.cmd #vent //

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tillman · 1 year

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an old accent sold so i finally got enough for stained for my eddie dragon everyone CLAP AND CHEER my assassin dragons are done :-)

#DANCES AROUND SO HAPPILY #txt #i might still mess w eddies outfit its so nothing rn but also. its eddie. how the fuck do u put clothes on that beast.#so im content #i have to stop being lazy and get them to lvl 25. for fun

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widevibratobitch · 8 months

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.

#vent post uwu havent seen those in a while have we <33 #looks like a depressive episode again #aw shucks #:/#laid in bed all day. did absolutely nothing. slept for 18 hours.#havent washed my hair since saturday. havent taken my thyroid meds in three days so idk that may have sth to do with this too ig #my flat is a total mess and im ignoring all uni groupchats (uni itself as well) and non-groupchats too.#only pretending im Normal to my best friend even tho she explicitly asked me to tell her when im feeling Bad and she does reach out to me #with her problems but i just cant bring myself to talk to her about mine #also i miss my ed so badly i need it back desperately. and i mean DESPERATELY.#anyway. something is seriously seriously wrong with me rn. like fr.#and i still haven't found the earring kms #had a bit of a ✨strongly suicidal✨ moment yesterday like it really made me go Wowwwwww girl hold yer horses cause yeah.#we havent seen that one in a while either #(no matter what my evil poll tags might have said lmao). anyway. absolutely horrible last two days.#and i once again feel like the worst and most useless and most disgusting person in the world.#my body is trash and there's nothing in this world that i hate more than it. i wish it would just. evaporate. whatever.#i hate it with a passion. peace and love.

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tinylittlebab · 1 year

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2/10/23

goal: 1000 / total: 821 / extra burned: 100 / net: 720 / weight: 94.5

disappointed in this. wouldve been less but i kinda blanked while eating goldfish and forgot to count them out bc i was too busy sorting them. oops. well its not that bad. i didnt end up getting to do my usual stuff so the day was very hard. i had planned to wait to eat till later or not at all but around 8pm i started feeling very ill and shakey so i decided to eat. unfortunate but whatever.

mad at myself for being hungry this morning since i had over 800 yesterday. my body is so pathetic. i fed it so much yesterday but even still.

#ugh. 821 thats so much i feel so bad #i know that ill still definitely lose weight if im eating that much daily but i feel pathetic for not going lower even when i wasnt #exercising. the main reason im able to maintain 97 and still eat 2000 a day is bc i exercise so much every day #my sedentary tdee is 1400 and i burn so much extra every day so it works out. i guess im lucky that my main coping mechanism that i use to #feel regulated and also happy (basically a hobby tbh) involves exercising. idk daydreams are more vivid when i skip around #makes me forget my body exists. and i do it so much that i burn a whole lot of calories #ugh. my body hurts rn. i should eat but idk what. should i go higher now and lower later or vice versa #im allowing myself to be ok with higher numbers today. nothing above 1100 but above 800 is ok #think its kinda silly that i always SAY my limit is 1000 but its actually not. but if i set my limit to anything less than im actually more #likely to meet it or go over. i more frequently get totals of 500 with this limit. i tell myself i can have a bigger meal later and then it #comes to bedtime and instead of eating i just go to bed. qhen its a lower amount i know i wont be able to eat anything larger so i am #doing way more counting of cals on everything to figure out what to eat later and it messes me up #and eating over 800 2 times a week isnt so bad. ill still lose weight. i feel bad tho. like im not disordered enough #but 800 is still a very small amount

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the-kipsabian · 8 months

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so ready for the funny number fic lmao

#who will post it? what will it be?? idk but im so ready lmao #just a fun thought #it wasnt even that long when we reached 50 fics.. and now its funny number time...#three digits here we come ~#im just. so happy to be contributing to this idk. it just feels good. it feels like something #its super silly cause its just fanfiction on the internet but its the one thing rn that i do that feels like it serves some kind of purpose #idk. i have a new au at works (cause im the worst lmao) so you might see that soon #they just keep me creating no matter how much i complain. they keep me going. they make me want to make things. which keeps me alive #idk fam this is stupid but it means so much to me when theres nothing meaningful going on in my life otherwise #...anyways this was a post about the upcoming funny number sorry didnt mean to make it real ough #night is an absolute mess on main

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lannisterdaddyissues · 1 year

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sorry i’ve been so inactive and noncommunicative today friends!! i see all your tags and messages and asks and i love you for all of them i just don’t have the time to answer them right now 💔 but please keep tagging me in things and sending me stuff!! i love it!!! 🥹

#im just urhsgdjfhsgjrs because apparently im failing organic chemistry rn!!!!!! AND i have a c in anatomy which i rlly wanna fix!!!#ive never done this shitty in school ever ive never even gotten a c before #well except one time in a high school english class but that was because my bitch of a professor refused to grade my final essay #which was worth 25% of my grade :^)#but yeah im . not doing well rn y’all! and i DO want to fix this so im having to buckle down and cut back on tumblr besties time :(#so ill get to everything when i can but it may take around 2-5 business days because everything is hell rn </3 #real talk tho this semester has absolutely sucked ass. i feel like nothing is going right for me and i’ve tried everything :/#i messed up really bad by taking 3 upper-level science courses at once and now i am paying a pretty huge price #BUT spring break is in one week and we’re going to adopt a new kitten then so there’s light at the end of the tunnel!!!!!!!! (temporarily)

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theodore-lasso · 1 year

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I have to do a six month review at work and it goes for AN HOUR. Girl in what world do you have an hour's worth of stuff to talk to me about.

#i have to do fucking paperwork #bro im ngl if they ask me a single question about my time im gonna go blank depression has wiped my memory CLEAN of the past 6 months #i got Nothing #my ability to think critically??? gone #also my boss straight up keeps being like. haha jamie is the me from 5pm to midnight. but don't tell anyone ive said that because then i #have to pay them more #and im like. youve just said it. in front of someone haha pay me more and hes like haha #and theyve never pulled me up on anything so im like. can i just continue doing what im doing #im scared theyre gonna ask me to do more than what im currently doing which. im not doing without a payrise #or will ask me whats my plan for the future which idk how to bullshit rn with how mentally ill i am #im like my plan for the future is not killing myself thank you v much for checking in #and they're like oh i meant career wise #and im like yeah okay then making enough money to keep myself from offing myself haha which is what im currently getting so we good #i just clean up other peoples messes that's my job. and we're gonna get more people and more fuck ups #that i will continue to look after

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spacedlexi · 2 years

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I know your commissions are closed at the moment but for future reference do you have a commission info card post available anywhere I could look at or do we have to DM you?

love your art by the way

im going to be updating the prices i used to charge but i havent 100% decided on anything yet. i plan on having lots of different tiers (sketch/cleaned/lined/full bg/no color/greyscale/flats/full color/bust/half body/full body) so there are more options for affordability. when i open comms all prices will be listed on the post

its nice to see people are still interested in commissions from me even tho im taking forever to open them again 🥺💕 and thank you aha

#you know what im on this forced break with my arm rn anyway #i should just finally bite the bullet and deal with paypals bs while i have nothing better to do #im ALMOST better #i keep getting to the point where im feeling good but i get back into working too soon and mess it up again :|#i must have patience....which i do not....#anyway.....yeah.... need to finally get this all sorted before i start having to worry about school again #replies with lexi #incognito

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strwbrymlkshake · 1 year

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been getting a lot more into Killing lately

#mine #vent post again hello. for the love of god #🎸#anyways um uhh uhhah uhagh i feel like violence is more apparent in my life #though it could def be due to the violent outburst i had the other day. just the aftermath of it ig #i have been feeling depressed and like i cant control my own life bc things are being withheld from me #hrgngh :( as usual. nothing is changing. i have to wait like this for a long ass time before it does.#oh right the point of this post: i keep feeling like my bf is mad at me even though there is literally nothing to signify that #he did not even say he was mad at me so why is my anxiety thru the roof HUH. well probably trauma #he said he would love me no matter what! but im still so worrieedddd :< i guess it wasnt a big thing to be mad about anyways so #i dont understand why he WOULD be mad about it. so unless he says he is mad/upset then he ISNT but my brain does not get this #there is NO reason for me not to trust him #also i have moved on from the 'why doesnt he message me first in the morning' fiasco which is good. i dont have an explanation as to why #i just am not mad about it anymore idk lol. well besides that my brain is feeling illogical things that i can recognize are illogical #but they still impact me :< its not fair at all... i could hypothetically construct reasoning why hes mad at me rn but im only hurting #myself this way. me moment. it was relatively innocent its not something to be MAD about he said hed love me for all my mistakes #so even if it was a problem he wouldnt stop loving me!!! do you understand brain? goodness...#HES LIKE. he is my beloved forever and i want to be holding him or touching him always. going to punch a wall idk #i just love him so much i dont want to mess up ever!!!!! god damn!! we are both depressed / have mental problems so we are doing our best #metaphorically smoking a joint with him rn i miss him. drugs are bad btw i would never do a weed. only in the metaphorical sense #i want us both to be less miserable so together we can be happy!! but why am i keeping him from doing things he likes...#but i want him to be happy?! but i want to spend time with him :( im gonna cry. WHAT AM I MAKING MYSELF UPSET FOR #he didnt even say he was mad at me i am just spinning this way out of proportion! ok!? he loves me forever #but yea i feel like my social filter for violence related things dissipated entirely. so i have been openly talking abt killing people #which is not good i am not going to do any of these things. my brain is too fond of them

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