#im a mess rn and i have nothing to do | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

showaboutdeath · 5 months ago

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hi im bored

Selfshippers!! Reblog with your F/O and/or your S/I (Max: 1 each) and I'll doodle them.

Examples below

note: these wont be super good and I'll be taking a small amount of submissions. also, i'm visiting family rn so bear with me in terms of timing. im within my right to not fufill a request if i feel i wont be able to do it. will be edited when i close it

edit: CLOSED!! i will get to these as soon as i can, ty!!

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orcelito · 2 months ago

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I'm going through another character arc

I'm becoming worse

#speculation nation #negative/#im mostly just being dramatic. still very deeply unhappy n #*right now lol #not in breakdown territory at least. just. tired.#yes this still has to do with the damned tub. i need to be in bed in less than half an hour.#first round of drano did nothing. i prodded at it with the snake. nothing. then had to scoop drain the tub Again.#if there is still no progress after the next adminsitration of drano im just going to try to wipe the tub (to remove drano residue)#and just take another foot bath shower. :/#might try to eat smth while i wait rn. it's messing up my routine but #just gonna have to deal with it i guess. i dont want to stay up Too late.#sigh. whys this gotta happen to me man.#my curse for what. having ungodly thick hair???#mark my words. after this im buying a drain guard.

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ice-devourer · 3 months ago

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a government worker was a little mean and now im sad i hatehate hate being sensitive

#basically i was so anxious i messed up my address in the form and they looked at it and went #'*laughs* there's so many mistakes'#and the person next to them said 'well better than knowing nothing. that would be stupid' *laughs again while looking at my form*#i am going to kill myself #tw suicide mention #tw suicide #IM NOT ACTUALLY KILLING MYSELF BUT DO U GET ME I AM NOT IN THE RIGHT HEADSPACE FOR INSULTS RN MY GUY #i was getting my voter's certificate #like i was so polite to u even tho u were already so cranky like...why would u do that :(((((#i just had to let this out dw im fine i think. im just kinda sad bc i already have so many existing doubts and have been bullied since #childhood so idk man i just dont feel good lmao #tw rant #id rather have ny head slammed against a wall again likeback then in childhood than go thru verbal insults id rather accept pain lik that #i have high pain tolerance but emotional stuff?? i am soft and gullible 💀

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natsmagi · 1 year ago

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OKAY SORRY FOR SPAMMING LAST ONE BUT SPEAKING OF HIM BEING A SWEETHEART THIS HASNT LEFT MY HEAD

WE GOT A FUCKING CHARMER ON OUR HANDS!!!!!!! oh but he really is so sweet and kind and loving its no wonder like everyone i come across yumes him. What a cute little guy......

little tangent but one of the hills i will die on is i think people play into his rudeness and "edginess" way too much bc like. Hes really only mean to tsumugi (justifiable) and at times his classmates because he thinks theyre being annoying (also justifiable i say) and he really isnt that edgy hes just alt. hes just an alt dude. and being alt isnt abt satan worship or whatever the hell its purely just about expressing urself in a fun and unique way thats true to u. he does struggle with managing his emotions and doesnt have the healthiest outlet for it but these things dont make him a cruel person....... he just. like. has alot of shit going on. and hes weird. but time and time again we see natsume want to help and assist people. he looks out for the underdogs aswell as his fellow classmates and colleagues (although he wont be the most upfront about it and may shield it behind some grand performance or w/e. points at ms alkaloid) and then u have his entire relationships with anzu and sora. him just being incredibly sweet with the absence of his shy+stubbornness u might find with people like tsumugi

TLDR I THINK HE IS VERY SWEET AND HIS SWEETNESS SHOULD BE HIGHLIGHTED MORE ESP SINCE ITS A VERY CONSISTENT FACTOR OF HIS CHARACTER

#people should read switch stories i think. that would be epic #anyway im a natsumugi artist though which means i gotta portray him being a cruel little shit every now and then. as is my duty #oh and he is just naturally a big tease ofc #be it with anzu or people like souma #he enjoys messing with people #but thats just him being silly and having fun #let him be silly and have fun #ask #me telling myself im not gonna write a natsume analysis bc i got shit to do rn and then doing so anyway #WHATEVER THIS ISNT A PROPER ANALYSIS DONT TAKE THIS AS GOSPEL IM TLAKING OUT OF MY ASS #IM JUST SAYING WORDS #THERES ALWAYS MORE NUANCE AND INSTANCES THAT I HAVENT TACKLED OR GIVEN THOUGHT RN AND YADA YADA WHATEVER. THIS IS A BRAINSTORM #MEANS NOTHING

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lottieurl · 1 month ago

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really really need to get back on mood stabilizers

#im rly such a mess mentally and its so annoying bc things are constantly like #going wrong but in a way that kinda works out so i should be fine but im not fbdnsjs #like terrified abt my dogs state for weeks -> finding out shes rly quite sick but theres treatment and shes doing better rn #scary fucked up horrible experience at work -> nothing physically bad happened to ME i handled it as well as anyone could #going to dublin to see chappell and injuring my foot at the concert -> b's a sweetheart so it was fine and my leg is pretty much ok now #but its just. so stressful and im already having panic attacks daily #plus i have stress dreams every night for the past 4 weeks and wake up terrified its so annoying #i just wanna relax #everyone please keep your fingers crossed that i get put on mood stabilizers at the end of this month and my mental health improves

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the-kipsabian · 1 year ago

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happy pride month 🌈

support your local cryptid queer creator mayhaps

#i dont plug my ko-fi a lot rn cause i have nothing to offer in return for tips but anyways #its pride month. im far from the only or the best creator in this community but im still here #so like. yeah #anyways #im gonna write now. maybe i dont provide visual arts anymore but damn do i like writing #night is an absolute mess on main #you know what im gonna pin it for now why not

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glitterghost · 1 year ago

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Feeling the ace-solation tonight.

#asexual #aromantic even #it just feels like the whole world looks at marriage and kids as endgame and holy fuck no #people only ever focus on who is dating who and when are you having kids and when are you getting married #like what the fuck #im over here thinking about how much time i can mash together seeing friends #and what books i want to read and bring me joy #and always thinking about these fictional worlds that have brought me so much more happiness than this one #like you belong somewhere else #like what do you do when you know nothing is wrong with you but sure as hell know others would think there is if they KNEW you #in all your ace or aro or whatever else glory #i just want quiet and peace without this looming feeling of people looking at you like youre supposed to be doing more #like you're in some fucked up timeline of having to achieve these life goals that sure as fuck arent yours #like please leave me tf alone #make the norm be however you get your happiness is the goal #the feels are real tonight #an untethered feeling of floating away or something #dont mind me im going back to my asmr videos #these tags are a mess rn

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olli-online · 5 months ago

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#i wish i could pinpoint what exactly has my mood all messed up rn #my brain is just recycling the same thoughts the second i open my eyes #how many times do i have to tell myself to prepare to be discarded because i have nothing to offer anyone. myself alone isnt good enough and #never has been or ever will be. i have to make up for it and still i show up empty handed #like ive run out of things to give. which i guess is true. how do i give what im still trying to rebuild #as cliche as it sounds its true that everyone i have ever loved has taken some part of me with them that i cant get back #i wish i was still kind and openly loving. i wish i wasnt full of dread. i wish i could love any part of myself. i wish for too much i know #i wish i knew when to leave well enough alone #i wish i could tell where im truly wanted #ugh #anyways i need to find smth to do to shut my brain off or just pass out again

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nerdie-faerie · 7 months ago

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So I'm supposed to be in London tomorrow for a 9am meeting. Just went to check my ticket which I specified I wanted to arrive at 8am for..... and it departs at 11:35pm and gets me there....... the day after my appointment 🤦‍♀️

#ace is a mess #travel tag #so glad i checked but fck my life im screwed #theres nothing i can do this late #im panic looking rn but i dont think its an option id checked a couple of hours before? who knows #i can get a flight thatll cost over £100 thatll get me there on time.... but i have no way to get to the airport cus i live in a stupid tow #im gonna cry of course this would happen i cant correct my ticket because the correct coach is now sold out obviously #might need to book another visa appointment and pay for all new travel 😭#*edit: ive booked another coach. itll get me to london 10 minutes before my appointment and then i still have to travel to the embassy #but i cant book another appointment while i have an existing appointment and although a flight would get me there in time #i cant get to the fcking airport cus i cant drive and theres no travel options this late cus im an idiot #aaah shoulda checked earlier god this whole summer camp process has been too stressful i need a coma

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dandyshucks · 8 months ago

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i want to draw specific digital art ideas but i want to write but i want to draw things for other ppl but i want to start my next crochet project but i want to play a video game that's been sitting in my steam library untouched for ages but i want to draw in my sketchbook but i want to - etc etc etc 😭

#and so i sit and do nothing bc i cannot make up my mind about which to work on fsdjkl #i think ''okay just choose one and go do it.'' and then... sit here bc i can't choose one HFDSGJKL #i try to use a wheel spinner but that messes w the brain gophers for some strange reason #also i need to work on cleaning as always HFDSJKL #AUGHHH I HAVE TOO MANY IDEAS #its like... marbles in a marble tower and theyre all in the funnel and jostling for position so nobody can make it down the funnel #the only thing keeping me sane rn is that im listening to the da vinci c.ode audiobook LOL #otherwise i'd just be sitting here going insane all day JFDSJKL #dandy.cmd #vent //

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tinylittlebab · 2 years ago

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2/10/23

goal: 1000 / total: 821 / extra burned: 100 / net: 720 / weight: 94.5

disappointed in this. wouldve been less but i kinda blanked while eating goldfish and forgot to count them out bc i was too busy sorting them. oops. well its not that bad. i didnt end up getting to do my usual stuff so the day was very hard. i had planned to wait to eat till later or not at all but around 8pm i started feeling very ill and shakey so i decided to eat. unfortunate but whatever.

mad at myself for being hungry this morning since i had over 800 yesterday. my body is so pathetic. i fed it so much yesterday but even still.

#ugh. 821 thats so much i feel so bad #i know that ill still definitely lose weight if im eating that much daily but i feel pathetic for not going lower even when i wasnt #exercising. the main reason im able to maintain 97 and still eat 2000 a day is bc i exercise so much every day #my sedentary tdee is 1400 and i burn so much extra every day so it works out. i guess im lucky that my main coping mechanism that i use to #feel regulated and also happy (basically a hobby tbh) involves exercising. idk daydreams are more vivid when i skip around #makes me forget my body exists. and i do it so much that i burn a whole lot of calories #ugh. my body hurts rn. i should eat but idk what. should i go higher now and lower later or vice versa #im allowing myself to be ok with higher numbers today. nothing above 1100 but above 800 is ok #think its kinda silly that i always SAY my limit is 1000 but its actually not. but if i set my limit to anything less than im actually more #likely to meet it or go over. i more frequently get totals of 500 with this limit. i tell myself i can have a bigger meal later and then it #comes to bedtime and instead of eating i just go to bed. qhen its a lower amount i know i wont be able to eat anything larger so i am #doing way more counting of cals on everything to figure out what to eat later and it messes me up #and eating over 800 2 times a week isnt so bad. ill still lose weight. i feel bad tho. like im not disordered enough #but 800 is still a very small amount

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tillman · 2 years ago

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an old accent sold so i finally got enough for stained for my eddie dragon everyone CLAP AND CHEER my assassin dragons are done :-)

#DANCES AROUND SO HAPPILY #txt #i might still mess w eddies outfit its so nothing rn but also. its eddie. how the fuck do u put clothes on that beast.#so im content #i have to stop being lazy and get them to lvl 25. for fun

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widevibratobitch · 1 year ago

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.

#vent post uwu havent seen those in a while have we <33 #looks like a depressive episode again #aw shucks #:/#laid in bed all day. did absolutely nothing. slept for 18 hours.#havent washed my hair since saturday. havent taken my thyroid meds in three days so idk that may have sth to do with this too ig #my flat is a total mess and im ignoring all uni groupchats (uni itself as well) and non-groupchats too.#only pretending im Normal to my best friend even tho she explicitly asked me to tell her when im feeling Bad and she does reach out to me #with her problems but i just cant bring myself to talk to her about mine #also i miss my ed so badly i need it back desperately. and i mean DESPERATELY.#anyway. something is seriously seriously wrong with me rn. like fr.#and i still haven't found the earring kms #had a bit of a ✨strongly suicidal✨ moment yesterday like it really made me go Wowwwwww girl hold yer horses cause yeah.#we havent seen that one in a while either #(no matter what my evil poll tags might have said lmao). anyway. absolutely horrible last two days.#and i once again feel like the worst and most useless and most disgusting person in the world.#my body is trash and there's nothing in this world that i hate more than it. i wish it would just. evaporate. whatever.#i hate it with a passion. peace and love.

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im-smart-i-swear · 1 year ago

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Does Jiro has ghost like abilities (possession, ability to levitate things, etc etc) or does she just live in Shiro's head?

when i created this au, i thought the best option would be for her to be unable to interact with the physical world in any way(including possesion), beacuse i really wanted to lean into her isolation and how it affects her....... and while thats something i still want to emphasise here, lately ive been toying with the idea of jiro being able to impact the physical world somehow(though it still being fairly limited). i think letting her have some control could have a lot of potential! buuuut i also have no idea what abilities i want her to have lol

For now i think im not gonna give her any telekinetic abilities, bc i feel like it would be giving her too much power......... if she could throw shit, shed go APESHIT with it. it would made things too easy for her. i'm sorry babygirl but i'm NOT giving you the possibilty to throw knives and other sharp objects, i dont trust you to not kill someone:/

i really like the idea of her being able to temporarily posses her old body in certain circumstances tho- maybe when shiros uncouncious?? or like when hes is very tired or heavily injured she can kind of 'squeeze through' and take control back for a few minutes???? idk. i think this could be a very cool ability to give her- it cant be frequently used but can also be very helpful, and also theres so much potential for ✨shenanigans✨here>:) oh god i could put these fuckers in so many Situations with this..........

uhhh. so basically i think all of her influence on the physical world are through shiro. shes here bc of her connection to her old body, and thus its the only way for her to interact with anyone besides him- and shes NOT HAPPY about this(neither is shiro).

#ask #thank you for this ask!! it made me think more in depth about jiros abilities and come up with this so thanks<33333 #if you have any ideas pls share them with me cause im still not really 100% set on everything lol #also im making a new tag for this au ->#two disasters au #bc. theres two of them.. and theyre both Mentally Unwell #also im gonna use this ask as an excuse to ramble about jiros motivation and character a bit-#okay. so i feel like the most importrant things about jiro are her tunnel vision and self-rightiousness #she gets really focused on one thing at a time and then fixates on it so much that she doesnt see how her behavior affects others #so when she gets evicted from her own body her first reaction isnt 'oh god this is such a messed up and dehumanizing thing to do to your #friend. what the FUCK guys'#its instead 'oh COME ON how am i supposed to be the black paladin without a physical body??? what the FUCK guys'#and bc deep down she KNOWS that if she ever stopped and thought about her situation for like 5 seconds shed just fuckin BREAK. so. she #doesnt do that.#and bc her self worth hinges on being the black paladin #she is really protective of tha title and tries her hardest to make sure shiro knows just how much better at paladin-ing she is than him #and that he wouldnt be able to keep the role without her help #she doesnt have any sense of personhood besides her job and so she clings to it desperately #the same applies to her gender #when jiro gets a new body(did i mention that???? i feel like i forgot to mention that. whoopsie???) he #(sometimes im gonna use he/him for jiro for when im showing things from a certain characters perspective cause thats what pronouns #she was using at the time)(if thats not okay i can stop tho) was trying very hard to pretend that hes just Shiro No. 2 and nothing more #to kinda 'make things easier for everyone' and bc he could FEEL the gender crisis approaching and was just. dead set on ignoring it and #hoping those feelings would go away(spoiler- they very much didnt. it just made things so so much Worse)#so anyway. basically jiro is a person obsesed with being Good Enough and respected but also lacks the experience patience and foresight #wnich results in her ignoring everyone and everything else to focus on doing her job Correctly #does this makes sense?? im still figuring shit out with her but thats what ive got rn

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the-kipsabian · 1 year ago

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so ready for the funny number fic lmao

#who will post it? what will it be?? idk but im so ready lmao #just a fun thought #it wasnt even that long when we reached 50 fics.. and now its funny number time...#three digits here we come ~#im just. so happy to be contributing to this idk. it just feels good. it feels like something #its super silly cause its just fanfiction on the internet but its the one thing rn that i do that feels like it serves some kind of purpose #idk. i have a new au at works (cause im the worst lmao) so you might see that soon #they just keep me creating no matter how much i complain. they keep me going. they make me want to make things. which keeps me alive #idk fam this is stupid but it means so much to me when theres nothing meaningful going on in my life otherwise #...anyways this was a post about the upcoming funny number sorry didnt mean to make it real ough #night is an absolute mess on main

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lannisterdaddyissues · 2 years ago

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sorry i’ve been so inactive and noncommunicative today friends!! i see all your tags and messages and asks and i love you for all of them i just don’t have the time to answer them right now 💔 but please keep tagging me in things and sending me stuff!! i love it!!! 🥹

#im just urhsgdjfhsgjrs because apparently im failing organic chemistry rn!!!!!! AND i have a c in anatomy which i rlly wanna fix!!!#ive never done this shitty in school ever ive never even gotten a c before #well except one time in a high school english class but that was because my bitch of a professor refused to grade my final essay #which was worth 25% of my grade :^)#but yeah im . not doing well rn y’all! and i DO want to fix this so im having to buckle down and cut back on tumblr besties time :(#so ill get to everything when i can but it may take around 2-5 business days because everything is hell rn </3 #real talk tho this semester has absolutely sucked ass. i feel like nothing is going right for me and i’ve tried everything :/#i messed up really bad by taking 3 upper-level science courses at once and now i am paying a pretty huge price #BUT spring break is in one week and we’re going to adopt a new kitten then so there’s light at the end of the tunnel!!!!!!!! (temporarily)

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