#nowadays i dont do that. if ppl dont like me for who i am they can find someone else to be their friend

[apple-os]

its ironic seeing some ppl having talked abt me like im some kind of evil beast as if they werent legitimately ableist towards me

"you did something wrong! but im not going to tell you what it is because i dont like you. and here are all the superficial reasons why <3" like okay but if there's something i did wrong i'd like to know because newsflash. i am fucking autistic!! i can't pick up on social cues!!! you never fucking told me i hurt you!! nobody did!! not even once before i was cast out, like seriously?? who treats ANYBODY like that??

i'm also trans!! and queer as fuck!! i make jokes about queerphobia as if i am a queerphobe sometimes to be silly!! i'm not a queerphobe, obviously!! if you have an issue with the jokes i make or things i talk about just tell me??? like it's not that hard

not like u didnt totally chat abt sexual shit around a minor anyways tho so rlly i shouldnt care lol it's not even funny i am so glad you're out of my life, even if it was in the most bullshit and mean way to end that very short-lived "friendship" like okay ur friend insults me to my face and i find out youve been talking about me behind my back, without addressing anything civilly, nor directly...and you still think you're in the right, despite all that?

if i had an issue with you while we were still friends, i would've told you and talked through it. you didn't have the decency to do the same for me, therefore 0 respect. therefore, we never should've been friends in the first place. kinda hope someday u see this and rethink the way u handle shit like this. ive heard from people that you've treated others like this before, so maybe dont. it's not healthy to talk about people with your friends, behind their back, without bringing anything up to them, especially if it gets to the point where you dont want to be their friend. just fucking tell people your problems next time like jesus christ

my last post abt this shit was prolly very OTT [i have bpd, long story short] but this is like. genuine. be nice and open-minded, people deserve a chance to redeem themselves, especially if you haven't pulled them up for their hurtful behaviour prior

this is probably the last post im posting here. read tags if u dare .,,

[yumenosakiacademy]

i told dad tht its odd tht he n others perceive me as being a massive anime fan when i barely watch any nowadays n hes like but u still WATCH SOME n its like yea n its not much. casual fan but its not my Everything anymore. n he got mad at me bc 'some' is still more than 'any random person' like ??? who cares

[itsalwaysdark]

and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do

[miiilowo]

just as like a little psa for my followers who have been hanging around for a while: while i dont blame myself for thinking i may have had NPD a while back, im not so sure nowadays. definitely had the symptoms and it all lined up quite nicely and Had been lining up for a while, but now that im not in public as much and not in a weird relationship essentially none of them are there. and who knows. maybe i do have it and it just isn't as clear given those factors being missing. however !!!!!! i cant comfortably say that i think i may have it anymore. it is something ill bring up to a professional when the chance arises but i just wanted to put it out there for ppl who have stuck around for a bit. i may have been wrong. i know not. put it on the backburner OK thank you i am a little older now and like .5 percent more wise (i also deleted a bunch of posts about it bc i dont want them being incorrectly circulated now that im less confident about whatever is wrong with me)

[cryscendo]

i was gonna reply to your comment on my post but i thought id bring the discourse straight to your inbox instead alskfjdslk its not like we're telling teenagers to go out and discover some weird kinks of their own right this second lmao but they absolutely have to learn to be comfortable with the fact that people are going to be into kinky shit they think is weird and thats its not in fact a moral issue and also none of their business lol

like when i was a kid everything was so fucking raunchy and im not saying it was better but everything has to be so fucking sanitized now and thats not good either. when i was a kid online in the 00s people would literally link you to shock porn videos as a joke and that was just an accepted norm. nowadays there are so many ways to tailor your online experience to you and people are just ignoring all these block and filter functions and look at shit they know they dont like and bitch about it when they had every opportunity not to see it

and it goes back to the fucking rocky horror discourse like god forbid youre trying to portray a queer character in a way thats anything other than the most palatable beige blank slate that ever was. god forbid a queer character acts or dresses or looks or behaves in a queer way aksfjsld they want everything to be so fucking boring and palatable to 1) encapsulate every single queer experience on earth in a single piece of media and 2) be tolerable to straight people because theyre under the illusion that there is any acceptable way for a queer person to be to a bigot other than dead. both are a useless endeavor and they need to quit wasting energy on caring about either

like god fandom just feels so bleak nowadays and i know part of it is bc of how fast things move and no one can hold longterm interest in stuff anymore but a huge part of it is how flat out prudish people are all of a sudden

let ships be problematic let queer characters be weird let sex be kinky lmao let fandom by fun again my godddd

sorry for the rant aklsfjkdshfdk i apparently had a lot to say but hey i love you thanks for complaining with me xxxxx

omg i’m so sorry i meant to respond to this earlier than now!!! i saw it originally when i was waking up for work and thought “ooooh she’s making some banger points i’ll respond to that on my break” and then i just… forgot. so here i am now better late than never 🥰

i’ve always had a bit of a problem with the incessant need to sanitize fandom. i’m not saying ppl can’t curate their fandom experience to appeal to their interests, because obviously, they absolutely can. HOWEVER i do think it has become much more policed than it once was.

i think kink, and understanding its place on a fundamental level (especially within queer spaces), is something that takes maturity to fully understand. like with the rocky horror thing, the use of sexuality and kink is inherently different than what a young person of today might perceive it as. it doesn’t particularly surprise me that people are so sensitive to it, because they simply don’t understand their roots — they’ve formed this concept of queerness that pleases them, and therefore find other demonstrations of queerness to be antiquated or “back-pedalling” (even though we both know it isn’t). i think it’s dumb and immature to try to dictate “right and wrong” ways to be queer, but i’m also not all that shocked that it’s happening.

all this to say, queer characters don’t have to fit into the boxes that we deem as “appropriate”. just like how real queer people don’t owe an explanation for who they are, these queer characters don’t HAVE to reflect every queer person that engages with their media.

personally for me, kink is a MASSIVE component of the queer experience. so because of that, i like my favourite bitches to be kinky but that’s just me 😌

absolutely feel free to rant anytime your opinions are literally always correct to me <3

[enden-k]

Seeing you mention that you hate when people over-explain things made me think of hc for Alhaitham and Kaveh duing their student years (bc i don't think it could happen nowadays with their 'genius' status)

(Also this kinda just turned into me rambling at 2:00 am about them being nd, sorry if this doesn't make much sense, words are hard)

But like why can i see alhaitham also hating when people unnecessarily over-explaining things to him vs kaveh who had a habbit of doing just that, not bc he thought people are dumb, but bc he feels like he just sucks at explaining things (im probably projecting, but adhd brain makes words hard, there's a reason he isn't a linguists) and when you can't explain things well, people assume you don't know what you're talking about, then rejection sensitivity kicks in and now he's rambling/repeating himself and probably not helping them understand any better then before

But also like, imagine at first they but heads over this, until it clicks that they're both nd (im talking like withing hours of their initial meeting, they haven't even left the library) and like alhaitham knows kaveh isn't trying to talk down to him, and Kaveh doesn't feel the need to try and explain things as much. They just get each other.

Tldr: they're adhd vs autism and adhd/autism solidarity

(for ppl who dont know, this is in reference to an ask on my other blog where someone brought up the topic of tone indicators for me)

anw this is interesting, sorry if i cant say much bc i lit just woke up and my brain is still struggling to turn on ajsjshd also idk much about adhd stuff to comfortably babble about it without worrying i get smth wrong so, id only be able to add to it by just self projecting rambling about haithams perspective as a fellow autistic lil guy 💦 but yeap

[timomoe]

estonia for the bingo thing

Oh god, anon, you really opened the flood gates with this one. This is gonna be a massive post, and I'm so sorry to everyone in advance.

Note: these are all things that bother me personally. I am not attempting to make anyone feel like they should also feel mad about these things. I am not out to shame anyone who has hcs that are different than my own. I'm just breaking my thoughts down. Idc how anyone characterizes Estonia.

1. I Dont Trust The Fandom With Estonia, Ever

Estonia's fandom depictions range from elegant, eloquent, intelligent, calm, and collected to creepy basement dwelling discord mod neck beard with no friends and no personality. The latter characterization is - you guessed it - a leftover from Old Fandom and is slowly dying off. It doesn't stop people from continuing to make him into an internet-y, awkward loser, though, and that's really sad to me, ngl. A lot of people see him as a weak, lonely loser, when this is actually extremely removed from canon. Ofc, headcanons are fine, but I see a surprising amount of people who think this characterization is canon, when in reality, it's just fanon. Canonically speaking, Estonia is very good at making friends and is easily able to maintain good relations with most of the nations. He's perceptive and able to read the feelings of people around him. He has lots of hobbies that he's really good at, too. He's smart and good with money and business. According to Himaruya, he SMELLS LIKE MONEY (which I just think is funny).

Nowadays, the fandom is usually nice to him, but unfortunately I do still see ppl completely mischarachterizing him and his relationships, especially when it comes to the Nordics. I think people tend to forget that Estonia is on good terms with every Nordic except for Iceland, and it isn't for no reason. Estonia shares very strong history with Denmark, Sweden, and Finland - a majority of the Nordics - and Norway seems to like him - or at least tolerate him - too. In the series, Estonia sees Sweden as a mentor figure, and he deeply respects him and his opinions. Finland is Estonia's best friend. Denmark and Estonia are on good terms. Their relationship isn't expanded on much, but Denmark never so much as implies that he thinks Estonia is annoying or a try hard. Norway, notorious teaser and pain in the ass (affectionate) also never teases or takes a jab at Estonia on screen or in the manga.

He's friends with people like America - the two work on silly little projects together just for shits and giggles. Oddly, America seems to treat Estonia quite well; from the little we've seen of their friendship, it seems like the two have been friends for a while, at least since 2007, as "The Gentle Fight Between Russia and I" is based off the 2007 Russian cyber attacks on Estonia. That's around 16 years ago, now.

As mentioned previously, Estonia is also frequently viewed as being wimpy and weak, when this is not the case. People usually tend to point to Estonia's time in the Soviet Union or the first time that Sweden and Estonia meet to back that up, but I counter with this - Estonia was actively being colonized at both of those time periods. The strip "The Violent Mr. Sve of Northern Europe Takes a Swing," is set at the beginning of the Swedish Era in Estonia. It details just how Sweden got ahold of Estonia to begin with - by being generally terrifying on accident. Prior to this point in time, though, Estonia was being treated badly by literally everyone around him (Teutonic Knights, Baltic Germans, etc.), so of course he would assume that this new man was here to treat him similarly (especially if you consider Estonians and Swedes had squabbled in the past over various things, and Estonia ALSO burned down Sweden's first capital.)

As far as the Soviet Era is concerned, Russia was extremely abusive to all of the Baltic States, dishing out really nasty punishments to them - going so far as to kill Latvia (albeit on accident) - when they speak out or annoy him. Of course he would be afraid of him.

Now, though? Estonia is daring and confident. He isn't afraid of Russia and routinely mouths off to him, challenges, stands up to, and outsmarts him. Even if he was afraid before, he isn't now. He has, seemingly, come back into himself. Yay character progression!!

2. I Know Him Better Than The Creator, Yaas, Queen, Give Us Nothing, & If I Could Save Him From the Narrative, I Would.

I know I just wrote 6 whole paragraphs about why I like Estonia's canon depiction, but I have to be 100% honest, I'm also not the biggest fan of Himaruya's interpretation of Estonia. There are good things about him, and I enjoy a lot of what he's put out, but at the same time there are things about him in canon that really annoy me.

For one, despite Estonians being very fond of their country, its history, culture, and language, Estonia... Isn't. At all. He is obsessed with being a Nordic, does not really treat Latvia and Lithuania well (which is strange imo, bc due to shared oppression, history, and struggle, the Baltic States are pretty tight knit.) and doesn't seem to care that it hurts them to know he would rather be a Nordic than a Baltic, and he seems to think that becoming a Nordic will solve a lot of his problems. He talks more about how cool Finnish culture is than he does his own, and that's really disappointing to me because when it comes to history, culture, and language, for Estonia there's so much to talk about.

Like let's think about the Eesti Can't Into Nordic joke that's running in the series. I'd like to remind y'all (/lh) that the Estonian government proposed the idea of Estonia being Nordic only once. One time. And the reason it failed was two-way. Not only did the Nordic nations not care, but Estonians were generally against it.

As far as I know, it's got to do with previously stated attachment to the other Baltics, and also because of their flag. For those who don't know, the Estonian flag was a banned symbol in the USSR, and anyone caught with it could face some pretty hefty punishments. The only reason we still have the original Estonian flag is bc two college dudes were like "mine vittu, venelased!" *Spits on the ground and shoves the Estonian flag behind a chimney where it will stay safe.*

Also. The joke about Estonia wanting to join the Nordics seems silly, as there's been this neat little thing called the Nordic Baltic 8 that's been around since the 90s. There's already an entire organization made up of all the Nordics and Baltics with the point of it being mutual aid and cooperation. Meaning all of the things Estonia thought he'd get by becoming a Nordic have already come to fruition.

On top of that, it had been a symbol of Estonian endurance, freedom, and perseverance for decades by that point. People were so attached to it and adverse to making the tricolor into a Nordic cross, so the idea died.

Edit: was also reminded by an Estonian friend that some of the suggested designs for the first Estonian flag were in fact in a Nordic Cross pattern, but they all lost out to the tricolor, meaning that whole idea wasn't just rejected once, but twice.

There's also something about his name that annoys me a little. While I believe it was genuinely an accident, Eduard's name is surreal. Let me explain what I mean. Himaruya tends to legacy name his characters. England is named for king Arthur, Sweden's last name is taken from a Swedish writer, Finland is named after Väinämöinen, Latvia is named after a Latvian singer.

The only person in Estonian history of any note with the last name Von Bock was a Baltic German man who, among other things, hated ethnic Estonians and believed them to be subhuman. Bit of an oopsie to give him a name like that. Not even Eduard is an Estonian name, it is just the Estonianized spelling of a German name too. Eduard isn't so bad though, since it is actually a common Estonian name.

3. I Want To Protect Them, Babygirl MF, They're Like a Brother to Me, & They're So Cute When They're Bleeding.

Ok so the basics of this one are: I love Estonia, he's a weirdo, he's my favorite, I only ever want good things for him, and yet every single time I write anything involving him, it always winds up being angsty as shit and sad. I am not allowed to let this man be happy, IG.

[astronnova]

Okay but I wouldn't purely blame LMK for the flanderization of Tripitaka. All the flanderized depictions in fan works I've seen are from people who actually read the book and made fan art of the original source. And both versions of Trip develop into better people, anyways. Also, it's a little hurtful to say that most people don't analyze what they read, no? Granted, it's a kids show so much of the fanbase are minors, but like...kids will be kids.

my bad that it came across as hurtful! thats not my intention, i meant it as more of an objective viewpoint on something that's become widespread online and irl then just an insult to people.

unfortunately, a lot of people within the uhhh lets say 15-early 20s range dont... dive as deep into literature as they should. you ever heard of that one meme about "the door is blue because the author liked the color blue" ?

this is just one of many, and you couldnt go anywhere online without seeing somebody make this kind of joke. schools dont even really teach deep analysis of literature recently (i should know, ive been in multiple english lit classes and most of them don't dive as deep as you could and should. the only one that does that is with my most recent professor), and this stuff happens in highschool. yknow, during students most formative years of learnin stuff.

kids shouldnt just get a free pass on choosing to ignore the main point of a piece of literature because "kids will be kids". literature is the backbone of critical thinking, most people develop that skill through reading, and stories have a greater purpose, especially classical ones, than just "heres a show that provides constant stimulation with no reason".

i probably sound a little crazy or something, and im not articulating this as well as i could due to me taking *checks notes* two melatonin like 30 minutes ago BUT anyway tldr for that section is that a lot of people just dont dive deep into literature and its true meaning. a lot of folks like only looking at the surface level bits because its so much easier and simplier than writing an 1000 word essay about the importance of a certain theme within a piece of classical literature or something

steering this back to monkie kid,

the thing i explained above i think is one of the sources as to tripitaka, and sun wukong's, flanderization within the monkie kid fandom. instead of looking at the characters with the original intent of the religious text, its looked at as more of a "well he did X so he's a bad person". its too literal for a religious allegory. trying to apply strict "real world black & white morals" onto characters like this just wont work and will end with every character from the original jttw with the label of "bad person".

i could go onto a whole rant about how the recent decline of deep analysis of literature is the reason so many people seem to prefer "childrens cartoons" (because of the easier to understand morality/lessons) over, say, classical work or hell even some modern classics. this isnt an insult towards ppl that like "kids cartoons" btw, like look at my whole blog its just about cartoons LOL . i think theres more than just that one reason as to why people, at least online, gravitate towards childrens cartoons (likely because theyre more fantastical rather than trying to cater towards "adult gritty realism" and are animated, which is hard to find nowadays with all this "live action remake" junk), but i do think its one reason.

again, my bad if i sound like an ass or something or if i dont make sense, its like 12 am and i shouldve been asleep like an hour ago but im easily distracted LOLOL . but yeah, i think the source of the flanderization is just people misunderstanding the point of the original text and trying to apply modern storytelling conventions to something thats meant to be a big ass metaphor for enlightenment

[rpfisfine]

do you hate miles?🤨

i was wondering when someone would send me an ask like this yeah i dont like him to be honest. i know ppl on here have largely moved on from the fateful 2016 interview and it has been discussed to death and yeah he immediately said he was joking etc etc but i dont think its weird to think you shouldnt have to feel pressured to like completely forgive and forget and absolve the sins of a male musician saying something that made a female reporter feel unsafe or objectified or 'caught in an increasingly distressing situation' or act like its some sort of unheard of and unimaginable offense that has never happened before in the history of music interviews and one someone’s favorite musician who can do no wrong in their eyes could definitely never get caught up in (esp given how gross in general the music industry is towards women). OR even go so far to say the reporter did it all for attention i cant believe this is even a discussion that has ever been had in any form ever like genuinely nothing makes me angrier than ppl who literally turn into blatant sexists whenever their favorite white guy's reputation is even mildly put at risk ive literally seen one person on here say the whole interview was made up and exaggerated and that she just wanted to 'join the me too movement' which is like Okay man i think you might just not have any respect for women in real life maybe. even watered down and not as extreme its a take thats more prevalent on am tumblr than i thought or previously imagined and i hate how bad it makes the fandom look like i trust that everyone on here is a reasonably intelligent and empathetic human being who has at least a basic tumblr education on the fact that victim blaming is bad so we dont rly need to turn around and immediately go 'she just misunderstood what he was saying' or 'she just didnt get his sense of humor' like Alright

i hope im articulating all this reasonably well like i think its literally fine that ppl have accepted his apology and moved on and are able to enjoy him as an artist and/or as a person too thats awesome and im happy for the ppl that i follow that have this kind of relationship with him. even if it wasnt for the interview thing he stil wouldnt be for me i used to be a pretty big fan of his music when i was younger but nowadays since ive found different music i dont rly pay any attention to him. im glad he was able to spark alex creatively but thats as far as my enjoyment goes of him to be yonest

also ive just realized now that all this makes me look kind of contrived given the fact that ive written milex before and i dont rly have like an impenetrable explanation i literally started writing for jamex around the time the car album came out bc i found out all my fav jamex fics had gotten deleted by their author so i wanted to fill the void and then one day i was like wait am i good enough yet to write a functional milex fic (plus i was hoping to get more ppl to notice my writing and milex offers a pretty easy way to do that) so then i wrote 2 and i was like ok i am cool. i dont intend to write another fic for them

hope this makes sense i probably forgor to say like 10 other things i wanted to say but thats okay

[oraclemoontarot]

ahh ur cool to chat with.

im sure kpop has set ways but lately im uncertain as to what they are aiming for... loved enhypens recent comeback it was so cool, did u see it yet? but again theyre an other group I can only really like and its so strange to me when theres teens who r obviously much younger than myself overly obsessing and being possesive over the idols bc i had exactly the same stance about western bgs during the 00s. now im kind of just enjoying them for the music and dont feel the need to deeply obsess over every detail but tarot blogs r so fun to ask qs and find out stuff we couldnt find out about one direction etc etc. it honestly seems so long ago the 00s and its weird bc when u find a new group and theyre so young i have to check difference in age gaps nowadays (lowkey wish there wasnt an age concept at all in society bc then it wouldnt matter). but ngl it is so awkward, like even seeing how ppl nowadays still flock to harry styles home town (yes also did that myself). yet kpop in general has so many cool themes and vast difference in terms of performance styles as well.

ik its only awkward if u make it awkward but ppl kinda take obsessing abt idols way too far. yet we have all been thru that phase so i get it but kpop stans seem next level crazy sometimes in a good way sometimes in a bad way, i also dont get how such delusional obsessions can lead to building closer relationship with said idol like u aint just going to make friends if ur crying over them in front of them yaknow? and other stuff like going to their hotels or following them whilst theyre out in their downtime. i dont think theres ever just been a non crazy time for idols at all. i cant imagine what their dorm rooms must be like cause I bet they all been doing other adult / human things lmfao. yet the way their fans overreact to mere dating rumors is ridiculous atp. or say for instance idols future spouses as well is the topic that seem to get ppl most riled up when it comes to thee sorts of readings. lowkey sometimes i ask why do i need to know but i ask anyway bc why the fuck not then i think its childish of me lol

aw tyy so are you!! I haven't watched their mv or listened to their album yet (if it wasn't a single), but I heard parts of it online and it does sound real good, I used to be an engene so maybe it's a sign to listen to this comeback.

no I get you so much here especially. Being a fan(girl) is so so much fun, you get to watch content, listen to music, learn about the members, go to concerts, collect merch, and meet other fans. There's a whole culture and community around it that, when you first get into kpop, it's so exciting. It's unsurprising people would get obsessed at first.

But yeah, I personally get really excited watching their content or over an idol (ahem haechan) when on my own, but whenever I meet them in person it's like all that excitement disappears and I'm like, 'oh, they're just a guy/person...', and it's really chill. I don't at all know how people think following them around, partaking in every single fancall, and getting overly excited and emotional would lead to them getting close with them.

You know, I think this obsessiveness dies down as we mature/get older. It's like we have other things to focus on, we become more grounded with less free time, and distance ourselves a little more.

Please, just imagining they're probably lying in bed scrolling through videos etc. while at home is kinda funny. They likely do what we do anyway as they're people at the end of the day, it kind of makes you see them more... normally?

We're alike haha. Yeah it's fun, especially with ideal type readings etc. but then you take a step back and think, am I doing too much? 😭

[atcmbmb]

hate having to post this but i have had zero interest in being here purely due to utter lack of responsiveness/interaction, gonna do a clean-up as a result. removing blogs that have liked/asked for starters yet left them hanging. removing blogs that have ignored/forgotten my dms. removing older mutuals who never replied to any calls or sent any memes. my rules are clear — i don't do reminders, and i do not want to be mutuals if you're not interested in actually writing. i dont EXPECT anyone to rp with me if they dont want to, but if you read my rules and still followed/followed back, or if you liked a plot/starter call, then i am completely confused as to why this keeps happening to me. why did you even follow me.

most of all the running pattern in this modern rpc of just forgetting about (or lbh, ignoring) dms, starters and the like, with zero consideration or qualms about it, is bizarre to me. id feel so ashamed if i asked someone for plots then left them hanging for weeks after they sent me a bloody list, yet apparently its the norm to do that nowadays. ppl who do this: i hope you realise how utterly demoralising and humiliating it is for the other party. maybe im a boomer, but i cannot believe this is how people treat each other in the rpc now. this wouldve never flown a few years ago.

[ihavenothingtodo10220]

do u ever think how in life we are told to aim for so much success and reach our full potential but then every other average person including celebs, idols etc etc are or have already done so, so why should we also need so much wealth or why should we need to put ourselves out there.

im constantly torn between wanting a simple affordable life that id be happy with maybe in the countryside (but its not affordable nowadays to live simply we still have to slave away) and the other side is that i have a need to constantly prove myself and to gain some type of recognition cause we are always told from kids to aim for the top paying jobs etc etc, most of that is what celebs have or do. i mean it cant always be that great what do rich ppl keep buying for each other dont they run out of things to own eventually cause they already own most rich people items?

fair enough if celebs and idols have talents but i dont im not even remotely pretty enough to do whatever it is they do but again its alwayd the what if i wouldve done things differently, maybe it would feel less narcissitic to want a bit of what celebs have if i already had done something differently yonks ago

the other issue is i no longer feel so attached to society if at all like i dont care to succeed i dont care to fail, im neither fussed if im alive or dead it just dont matter to me anymore, in the end the only thing thats going to happen is i will eventually pass away so no ones exactly going to miss me even in death or heaven as people still have their own lives i wouldnt or havent been anyone special at all

its almost saying how it only matters if its someone rich and famous so we have to be a somebody in order to be remembered otherwise we generally end up being a nobody as it is the way the internet goes into meltdown when celebs pass away as if it wasnt to be expected at some point. but if we arent on social media or we dont have a following we honestly do not matter even if we dont have partners or social group either like im so irrelevant no one gonna notice bar immediate family if i stop existing rofl

the way we have to do everything via a screen and screens are everywhere doesnt help me at all cause i feel further distanced from folk and like i dont belong, i dont need nor want a following but its almost being forced on all of us like people.

even idols cant do anything without needing to show their fans but the idols wouldnt notice every single fan to ever exist would they? all the interactions with celebs that fans have is always monentary or beifly. stays even treat bangchan like a long term permenanttherapist friend. yet neither if them truly know one another, so why do we get so attached to the idea of having thoughts and feelings towards someone whos never going to know us so again it dont matter if we do or dont exist as long as these idols and celebs briefly have enough fame for them to get by

but then what am i someone who just does nothing for a living cause i dont want what others want out of life if that makes sense? i either end up feeling like im from the wrong era dont belong with my generation dont belong with next generations would probably have preferred being in previous generations when things were simpler and affordable

sorry if this ask is a bit morbid, nihilistic or pessimistic i have so many mixed thoughts and feelings about existing lately what do you think? i mean obviously there is much narcissism in the world as it is so wouldnt we just be adding to it? am i just having nearly mid life crisis early? idfk anymore

Honestly people tell you to aim high because not only is it the best way to survive, but also because you can easily improve things. Many people who’ve done a lot were considered sub par, and the main reason they did was pure spite to the people who looked down on them and had more, and then they eventually became those people. It’s a cycle, and it’s human nature. And in this society, whether we like it or not, only the successful can truly be sure they can make it. Even middle-class families can easily crash and burn in the blink of an eye with losing their job and end up without anything to eat. But the successful don’t really have to worry about that, because they have a lot to fall back on. Things are also getting more and more expensive, and only the wealthy can really keep up with that. It’s sad, but reality.

And yeah, I think fans put so much pressure on idols because they’re just that. Idols. They idolize them and see them as these perfect beings far above any and everything, and they delude themselves into thinking they can be with them one day. So if an idol makes one wrong move, or dates someone, that false image comes crashing down. You don’t see that in the west simply because we don’t idolize celebrities to that same capacity. To us they’re not necessarily idols, and they’re much more open about their humanity.

[camo1000le]

The EVOLUTION of the silly boy

Feb 2022 - May 2023

If you wanna read me ramble look down lol

This is why I dont wanna be mean to ppl who can't draw fat unless it's quite obvious if comes from beaing mean- I myself couldn't (and you can argue I still can't) for a long while, but I wanted to! And I tried! And I practiced!!

I've been silently fighting for more chubby mikes for years before I even could draw it lol, not in here bc I'm shy of rambling? But is insane how you would think the mikes of the fandom are so diverse but. No. They're not...

I, also, was (and still am) quite shy of my design and interpretation for the same reason, i babygirlfy him too much. You all make him.metal and rock and tired with life and my Mike likes all of that too i swear!! But. He's also silly and is trying so hard to have his childhood back by... letting himself be childish and cringy and all of that for the first time. Surely a lot of you get that?

Anyways, I really need to do a *literal* redraw of the first one 'cause that's the base AU! While the other is Emily! Mike AU(s). That outfit he has on 2020 is still very dear to me, base Mike is still very dear to me... I just.gosh i hate fnaf sm and i love fnaf sm at the same time.

I just LOVE that you can see all the ideas of 2020 still in there. Just better... my boy didn't change. Just evolved, and turned autistic for some reason

And ofc his mentality changes with the AUs. Base mike uses more thigh clothes/still tries to please will at 18+. While e!mike prefers loose ones, i just love little changes like that. I love AUs so much.

Actually b!mike is a big fan of thigh jeans (likes how he looks on them) while e!mike prefers bell/loose ones, he likes thigh ones too but he's shyer

The jackets have lore! The black one was a gift from William when he turned 18, while the green one is Henry's. It's like. A metaphor that Michael tries to copy his parental figures as best he can bc he doesn't know how else to be a good son. That's also why he dyed his hair is the 2nd one (the first one was supposed to be just brown) bc Henry has black hair.

This is how the black jacket looks nowadays:

The jacket has sm lore for being a jacket lol

I just wanna end with.

My boy is like a babygirlfied slasher.

He's 1.93 and weights 130kg and is fucking strong at the arms but he's also so sweet. Look at her. Just a big Baby, let her rest from the horrors

[moomoomooing]

same anon as before (you already know who i am but i'm shy to slide into your dm's :3c)

same tho!! i love mamamoo but i don't really stan any group outside of svt. i used to keep up with tbz too but it's tiring, i can barely can keep up with svt nowadays. and was also there when skz and atz debuted but i was never too interested in them? because i'm not that into dark concepts but there are a few songs that i like. i just happen to have a friend who is a rlly big fan of those two, and she's trying to get me into them while i try to get her into svt and twst haha.

i also recently met someone who also likes twst and svt and we were discussing wich dorm each member would go to, what do you think about that? i've already started drawing a few, i want to do all but 13 is a lot of people q.q slowly but surely...

as for lolita fashion i like to wear it but it's expensive so my wardrobe is very small,, so yeah, meanwhile the best i can do is draw it fjkskd.

anyway you don't really have to answer this sorry aa i kind of just rambled abt myself so maybe you don't want to have it in your blog, if you want to chat we can move to dm's but !! idkidk

ID LOVE TO CHAT!!!!! and youre so big brained the svt members in twst dorms simply MUST BE DISCUSSED (feel free to slip into my dms anytime~~~)

hmm without thinking too much abt it- here are my assignments

cheol is in savanaclaw LOOK AT HIM? my competitive bby

hannie is in octavinelle OR pomefiore cause lord is he beautiful- but i think leaning octavinelle (im not double checking my spellings lmao)

shua is pomefiore imo, hes tricky but also def has the pomefiore vibes that outweigh octavinelle yk?

jun i feel more savanaclaw but he also has kalim scarabia vibes going for him

hoshi same as jun but im kin assinging him to kalim, hes also pp cunning when he wants to be (dont lie) so scarabia it is

wonwoo hes big diasmonia vibes, hes vv mysterious exclusively to ppl who dont know him lmao, hes a big fan of the rain around diasmonia, real vibey

woozi, now i wanna say pomefiore for some reason but hes gotta go to scarabia to match hoshi, the jamil to kalim is you will (without all the murderous intent)

mingyu absolutely savanaclaw. no doubt abt that

minghao, pomefiore for sure, the boy loves his fashion!

dk a ray of sunshine who competes with the kalim status hmmmmmm truthfully i can see him in both savanaclaw or scarabia (ill necer recover from when he got buff)

vernon he also has diasmonia vibes, less serious tho and more silly

seungkwan HES EITHER POMEFIORE OR HEARTSLABYUL (NO ONES IN HEARTSLABYUL YET)

dino- if seungkwans in pomefiore or heartslabyul dino is also there with him, theyre a pair do not separate pls

honestly i cant reallly think of too many of em being in heartslabyul, but reallt vernon could also follow kwannie and dino into whatever dorm and it still fits www

[mithliya]

"Is anon trying to revile woman nowadays based on-" hi im that anon, not really Im just anti military 😭

i have no motive to try and push a "women are just as bad as men" im just an anon! I might be seeing it as more accusatory than that person intended but. i wasnt even expecting any one other than mena to respond or read that! I didnt dig anything up it was just something I heard of and thought it was a very clear example bc it really messed me up to see + read!

Like even though women in the military are not cruel as often or to the extent that men are, they still aren't innocent and sometimes participate or go along with their male teammates cruelty, Thats pretty much it.

Also no offense but i feel like something from 20 years ago isnt that irrelevant or far away... isnt the USA still warring with the same countries, isnt the mindset of a lot of americans very similar? When I read about jt i was so freaked out bc i thought it *wasnt* that long ago. And then I was freaked out bc well if that happened then, what's happening now? What don't we know about?

Anyways i hope I am not being rude ?? 😭😭 its just weird to be misinterpreted bc that was just random.ramblings which I tend to do ..

i dont think ur being rude! also ngl i can somewhat empathise w the ppl who joined the military in the US bc they’re poor n it gives them some opportunities. at the same ive come across some that joined for such reasons but they’ll ALSO like defend the military and promote it online and everything lol which is beyond off-putting. i reckon they cant shit talk the military online for obvious reasons but.. i assume they dont have to promote it the way they do? while i understand human nature is selfish and they are being incentivised into doing sth they may not necessarily want to, i did come across some who said they joined the military bc they’re super poor meanwhile they can afford so much useless shit that could feed entire families for a whole month 😭 and on the other side some who say that aren’t extremely poor, just not rich enough to afford most of the expensive ass universities in the US. also ppl who go into combat from those backgrounds i just think.. well. i can understand your desperation. but i do not think the brown ppl who lost their family members & saw their country go up in flames bc of ur army will. bc what they faced & continue to is far beyond the desperation you faced.

idk. i feel like either way i have no stake in this convo the way many do. i was around US army kids and while many of them were racists and xenophobes and were outright talking shit about my country & culture & entitled etc, im just not gonna have the same experience as someone from a country that allies w the US & isnt being bombed by them.

[joculatrixster]

as someone who started watching south park in like middle school and is currently 18 let me just quick reply to this post bc honestly? the op has a point but went about saying this point in the most teen-repellent way possible.

like no fucking teen already watching south park is going to listen to the post its dripping w/ condescension and just kinda is clearly for adults to remember bad times w/ sp fans or who just dont like the show to get in the replies and say shit like “yes ur so right for that!!! hot take the sp fandom cant handle” which is annyoing to me. bc honestly why else did u make this u didnt honestly think anyone 12-17 was gonna listen to ur post right?

10-15 years ago most ppl in the media diudnt even know what nonbinary meant its a completely different social landscape nowadays in terms of rights, recognition, and teen’s access to education on bigotry. most teens on tiktok or tumblr know about these subjects more than their parents do and u bringing up over a decade ago when u urself was 9-14 in the 2010s is not the same experience as those who r in the age of tiktok and twitter and modern youtube/twitch. teens online know more shit and activist have spread a lot of awareness easy to access in these decades that ppl who make dark humor jokes are aware the difference between joke and bigotry and aware of how distorted south park is on purpose. and if someone isnt and takes it at face value? yes they should stop watching and reassess their media literacy and the way they interact w/ information thats CLEARLY exaggerated. that is a failure on the teens part to watch a show meant for adults and not have critical thinking skills therefore that teen needs to be told point blank “ur stupid as fuck” then told the show is a comedy and satire not serious political discussion and they need to strop believing everything they see on tv like a dumbass and grow tf up. thats a teen yeah, and a dumbass one to be sure yeah? not every teen is like that tho and south park isnt the only reason they made bigoted remarks liek that.

saying south park introduced bigotry as funny to a lot of kids is actually just making me have to sit down for a second and look at most adult cartoons, most famous comedians, and look back at my middle school days and my current high school ones and most of the jokes kids would make. i am looking at a culture that make bigotry funny and kids who have been joking about shit like that openly for decades. its the most “think of the children!” type bs to say “hey south park specially is making it funny to be like that to kids. nothing eles kids woudlnt have done that w/out south park!” no i assure u the show definitely helped some kids become worst off but it is not solely south park that does this i have been hearing the most vile shit from kids around me for my whole life and that wasnt bc of south park its a cultural thing that south park has been born of and contributes to but is not the sole cause of and to say ppl wouldnt do that w/out south park is actually just ignorant. its funny because its forbidden and bad and punching down which r all things teens, specially young teens, love to do not bc south park made it funny specifically

the issue isnt sp bad no one watch it, the issue is ppl under the age of like 14 dont have good media literacy. the issue isnt “hey do NOT watch this show that has bad things in it” the issue is “Hey when u watch this show be aware of the issues it talks about and have urself educated on the topics and ur own stance son them bf u let a show about comedy first most shape ur opinions.” telling teens not to watch something thats incredibly popular and main stream is actually stupid ur not helping the core of the issue by painting it as an issue w/ the show when its an issue w/ the audience. teens like 16 and older can handle southpark ur old enough then to understand the difference between a joke and being a bigot. id say kids younger than that would need to be more aware of the issues they joke about and need to be educated on that stuff not forbidden from seeing it joked about and sheltered form hearing about it in blasé and rude ways bc that doesnt WORK.

south park is just going to become more enticing and appealing and then they will think ppl like U who say “teens shouldnt watch south park” w/out actually explaining “they dont have the mental capacity at that age to understand the nuance of dark humor” and not "they r stupid kids who need to be sheltered”, are wrong then will just go watch it

ESPECIALLY when u say teens who r actively watching south park r to allowed to enjoy and connect w/ the show bc u personally do not like it. like girl what. if someone whos a fan of the characters is making them queer has it crossed ur mind they may already be aware the show is bigoted in its humor and can actually CRITICALLY watch it w/out consuming all it says mindlessly. this post gives me the vibes u personally do NOT like dark humor or anything at the expense of a group which is valid! i know ppl who r sensitive or just plain uncomfortable w/ that stuff and thats fine! and hey i can be reading u wrong here and u litterly could have been well meaning and im just misinterpreting what ur saying but to ME is teenagers r not allowed to watch a show u deem too offensive. no. the answer is no to that teens can watch whatever the fuck they want and no one owes u being 100 percent pg all the time. Being straight up bigoted is NOT something south park EVER supported it makes light of everything and anything but the show in itself is first seeking to make an easy joke based off current events and has clearly show3n beign antisemitc, homophobic, racisit, sexist, ect IS bad bc the butt of the joke is never just the one discimated against but also the bigot who chose to do that(mainly cartman) and if u want op i can give u quotes and episodes but i dont think u actually want that. i think u want to see ur idea of the show and blame it for kids being cruel or making jokes out of bigotry and dont actually want to get that in fact some kids just like dark humor and need to be more educated on serious subjects

that means the issue is teens need to stop ONLY watching south park and watch other shows and be aware of social issues, but honestly? teens r also just dicks man, shielding them form south park will make them cling on to the next edgy ADULT media and then what? how does ur post help those teens stop making bigoted jokes? maybe instead of being reactionary about a form of media actually make a post that helps educate teens who dont understand the shit they talk about bc they saw it in the media and heard about it form their friends.

idk what teenager needs to hear this but please stop watching south park