#im a little worried im not cut out for this whole “being a manager” thing but im trying very hard to do well. its just very tiresome

[sniperdadmaccready]

sometimes your day is really bad and you spend a good chunk of your break at working crying in your car after being reamed by various customers and nearly vomitting with a headache but sometimes your partner surprises you with your favorite soda and a candy bar or your brother you don't get to talk to often texts you out of the blue or someone you went to school with is genuinely happy to see you in public even though you assumed they never really knew you existed and sometimes all those little things happen in a single afternoon and it's all those little tiny things that make life just a little less shitty and I think that's what I have to hold onto is the small slivers of good amongst everything else because otherwise I'll crumble under the weight of it all, y'know?

[gangrel-pride]

im already fully committed and subscribed to the inevitable Gomezification of Wednesday Addams so please give me your pitch dec of how Enid is Morticia because I fully agree

sorry it took me a bit i had to try and organize my thoughts and im not very good at that

admittedly I’d like to have more Morticia to compare Enid to but we only had 8 episodes so whatcanyado

under the cut so as not to annoy other people

-there’s The Big One: both Wednesday and Gomez would be dead were it not for Enid and Morticia. Garrett would have killed Gomez had Morticia not ran him through and Tyler would have gutted Wednesday where she stood had Enid not drop-kicked his ass

-then there's the fact they've both committed violence to protect the ones they love and 100% do not regret any of it— despite Enid being portrayed as extremely squeamish

-they’re both cunning as hell and they know how to "play their part" to their advantage. Enid can say what would Wednesday do as much as she wants, but at the end of the day the shit she pulled during the Poe Cup was 100% Enid—there’s also, you know,

the way Enid managed to pull one over on Wednesday? she played the part of the "airhead roommate" (yeah you can't convince me that "ew, what died?" when she walked into a crypt wasn't calculated), so Wens would underestimate her. And while we haven’t seen enough of Morticia to judge she always gives off the vibe that she not only knows more than she lets on, she will 100% use it (honestly a lot of Tish's characterization has the benefit of other iterations of her you can use to fill in some blanks). She at the very least seemed to have a contingency plan for every possible thing Wednesday could have tried to get away from Nevermore

-they’re both actually really good at reading people, it’s tied to the above point

-Enid's well-liked enough to not only have friends in multiple different cliques but she’s also on good terms with enough people to be privy to all kinds of gossip, human or supernatural— and judging from what little Weems said, Morticia seemed to be popular way back when too. Though idk if Enid is the school darling to the extent Morticia seems to have been cause the closest we get to the whole school interacting with Enid is, well,

-my absolute favorite parallel tho is how Enid's got Wednesday wrapped around her little finger just like Morticia’s got Gomez. Enid is the only one who can get Wednesday to do anything, from apologizing to Thing to putting her murder board somewhere else—she didn’t even have to ask, it made her uncomfortable and Wednesday just, like, moved it—to wrangle genuine compliments out of her. as a bonus Wednesday goes full My Girl Is Mad At Me I Hope I Die after their fight, which is very Gomez of her

-Enid can't stand staying away from Wednesday. In fact, she can stand it so little she doesn't even wait for Weds to apologize, she just comes back

girl you didn't even give an explanation for why you work, you just got tired of waiting for Wednesday to swallow her fuckin pride and came back all on your own she gave you NOTHING!

And while you could argue this is some Gomez-ass behavior, i think Morticia and Gomez are just as bad as each other on this

-this right here is some Morticia-ass behavior she's so proud:

-the height difference, it's uncanny:

in conclusion, whether intentional or not Enid is more Morticia than Wednesday is and Wens should be actually worried about being too much like her father thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[littlestarbigsky]

so this sign exists across the street from my home and it feels very targeted

i have written a whole au and i will not be stopped (it may or may not be under the cut ;)

this sign is positioned in such a place that it is physically impossible to not make eye contact with it and for *weeks* it has plagued my mind and i literally can not be quiet about it.

everyone say thank you to @youllneverseeonascreen for entertaining my whims bc we have been yapping away about this au all week

- paul and darry had.. whatever they had in high school. it was good, it was beautiful, and however it ended, they both knew that if the other came around again, they wouldn’t mess it up this time

- well, the day finally comes

- paul gets his bachelor’s in business, but doesn’t really know what he wants to do with it, so he starts doing what everyone else does and works for his father. gets married, is miserable, and wants to get divorced, like everyone else does.

- once ponyboy graduates, darry manages to work his way through a junior college program with what he’s been saving and keeps working full time

- they meet on accident one day while darry is working on paul’s sister’s place (im stealing penny from my other au- check the tags for more abt her) and god it’s SO awkward but penny tells them that they should catch up over dinner and they’re both too polite to say no

- they manage to actually speak at dinner, it’s pretty tense and they don’t really want to be there but they don’t kill each other and by the end of it they might have even had…fun?

- i haven’t decided how long it’ll take them to get back together BUT eventually they start hanging out one-on-one pretty often and they finally have *the talk* and decide that they want to try again

- but plot twist! paul has a six-year-old daughter with his ex (there’s gonna be a PLETHORA of posts about her bc girly is my new hyperfixation and ngl) and one day they’re at lunch and paul has to do a swap and he just looks and darry and his heart DROPS and he goes, “oh, right, uh, this is stella :)”

- and of courseee darry is SO good with her and she loves him bc he’s basically like her fun uncle (send me asks about stella i dare you)

- a little while passes, darry and paul get closer and eventually want to move in together, buttt darry doesn’t want to leave his home so paul and stella move in with them

- everything is pretty awesome and they’re happy and in love but paul absolutely HATES his job,, so naturally one day he has the oh so smart idea that they should just start doing their own thing

- darry had been having problems with the leadership at his roofing job for a while (getting passed up for promotions, disrespect, etc.) and he basically knew his whole team would follow him if he tried to start his own venture

- paul uses his degree (and let’s face it: his parent’s influence and money) to get them a startup loan, and he runs things on the business side while darry and his team work on houses (like fixer upper but it’s like 1972 lol)

- over the years, darry managed to pay off the mortgage on the curtis house, and soda (and cherry OOP) can afford to stay there so darry isn’t worried about losing their family home, so he and paul eventually move into a bigger place for them and stella

- they might not make it out of tulsa, but they make the best of being stuck there, and they open up a building company

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Ep. 15 "The Cavalry Has Arrived" Review

To say that I am happy is an understatement. I am beyond satisfied with the finale of TBB. For me, it was perfect and I cried several times. This was about a family. Of course, there are small things I would've liked to see more of, but that's more nitpicking. I watched the finale twice today and I am happy. I guess if I had to say anything, it's that I wanted more. I love these characters and I could spend hours with them.

From a more constructive criticism side (just to get it out of the way): I definitely think the writers needed more time overall with this show. There are corners that had to be cut and you can see it. The pacing is rushed at times. While I'm still happy with the final result, you can tell it really needed more time for character moments. I don't necessarily blame the writers; I blame Disney for not giving them more time. Jen and Brad are very capable of both action and character depth, but it's clear they didn't have the time for both.

On another note, the music and animation were phenomenal. The rain animation looked so real to me, especially when dripping off of the characters. Everything was stunning. And the music, like my gosh. The Kiners popped off here. Crosshair's theme and Omega's theme are two absolutely beautiful pieces of music and I really enjoyed hearing them throughout the episode. And my gosh, tension during the final stand against Hemlock was perfect. The music was incredible and I rewatch that sequence because of it (and other things).

Spoiler time; you know the drill 😎 This will be long, fair warning.

Crosshair's conversation with Wrecker and Hunter was truly heartbreaking. You can hear the guilt in his voice, especially when he admits he feels like he deserves to 'Plan 99' himself. To hear Crosshair admit that hurt. His past mistakes weigh heavily on him. However, I loved that Hunter stepped up and told him no. Family sticks together no matter what. It's a far cry from S1, where Hunter and Cross both left each other. But now, nothing will split their little family up. Crosshair's theme playing over that whole sequence had me in shambles.

The whole fight sequences with the operatives was also really well done. I can't imagine what would've happened if Hemlock managed to condition the boys. Omega got Cross out at the right time; if he'd stay'd there a few weeks longer, then Hemlock would've definitely adjusted the conditioning machine in time to fully break him. Luckily, Crosshair avoided that fate. Still, to know that he suffered in that machine for 5 months is heartbreaking. The operatives are true killing machines, devoid of life.

I can't believe I live in a world where Crosshair got Jaime Lannister'd. AND IM A HARDCORE JAIME STAN. This wasn't on my 2024 bingo card! I will say though, I can see why some people personally don't agree with it as a writing decision. Cutting off his had doesn't magically "fix" anything; it honestly will just add to his trauma. But at the same time, I love whump and there is symbolism of Crosshair being truly free. He is now just Crosshair and that's enough.

Omega really learned from the best, didn't she? Seeing her help the other kids and free the Zillo was epic. I got so many Ezra vibes from her as she slipped in and out of the vents of Tantiss. The faith and trust she has in her brothers is truly heartwarming. And it makes the epilogue feel even sweeter. Omega knows they raised her well and she can take care of herself because of that. She's grown so much since that first time seeing her on Kamino. It feels like looking in a mirror sometimes, at least for me. I see a lot of my life reflected in her, just like I do with Crosshair. It hits home.

The final standoff with Hemlock was definitely my favorite part outside the ending. I loved the music, the animation, and seeing Hunter and Crosshair work together. There is such trust between the brothers and Omega. Despite Crosshair's worries, there is no moment that Hunter doubts Crosshair's abilities. Hunter knows Cross will make it. He assures Cross that Omega also trusts her brother's abilities. And the hug after Hemlock died was so beautiful. I love that Omega hugged Crosshair first; he needed that.

Hemlock's demise was perfect. I kept joking that I just wanted him to fall off of Tantiss because it would be so pathetic. And guess what? He did fall off of Tantiss (after getting shot before hand).

Echo of course was awesome! Loved how he commented that he knew Omega was the one to release the Zillo. I also loved how he did get to fulfill his wish of freeing the clones and even lead them into battle against the operatives. The last domino still stands and I couldn't be happier. (Also glad that Emerie lived. She deserved it after realizing how messed up everything was).

Nala Se and Rampart were also handled well. Rampart never changed and I'm glad he didn't. Some people are just not nice, even after getting served humble juice. Meanwhile, I will cut Nala Se some slack. I will never forget Fives. However, she did save Omega so there's that. And she took out Rampart.

Overall, I'm just really glad that everyone made it out in the end. I would've been fine with a sacrifice, but the Batch was constantly being forcibly split apart, I'm glad that they now get a break and can be family. (Tech lives on in all their hearts). They will be ok and they know that. TBB was my comfort show and seeing that final shot of the Batch reminded me that I will be ok. Stuff happens, but somehow, things will work themselves out.

And the epilogue! I wish we got old man Crosshair and Wrecker (maybe one day we will), but it makes sense why it was only Hunter and Omega. He's her primary father figure and their relationship has been one of the driving forces of the show. For so long, Hunter has been very protective Omega, almost going too far at times. However, he learns to let her go and trusts that she will be ok. He is at peace knowing he, Wrecker, and Crosshair (and Tech + Echo) raised her well. It reminded me so much of my own experiences with my parents and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect epilogue. It also hit hard seeing Omega as an adult; she was so tiny in the beginning.

Anyways, that was a long review. I am overall thrilled with the final and I'm glad everything wrapped up neatly. I'm sure we will see Wolffe, Cody, and Rex in another project; their story isn't over. But Clone Force 99's is. They struggled so much and are now finally able to rest. The epilogue confirms that Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair got to grow old and watch their kid grow up. For me, there's such a beauty to that. In a galaxy that is riddled by war and darkness, there is hope for a better future. The Bad Batch started as a group of "defective" clones, but in the end, they became something so much more: a family. And in my eyes, that is the perfect ending.

[goldenempyrean]

Hi! Could I please request sick reader x Scarlett where R passes out from heat/exhaustion/whatever and Scarlett panics a little/ takes care of us until we come to? Maybe on set for a movie or sth? Just soft soft wife Scarlett please. Thank you so so much!

Way Too Warm

〚 Notes - Hey, hey, hopefully you’re having a great day. I’ve never really written for heat exhasution so this is new leaf for me, no promises of how medically accurate things are :P Anyways! Enjoy :D 〛

〚 Summary - Filming in the summer had its drawbacks. Especially when they came in the form of a rather unpleasant bout of heat exhaustion. But theres no way Scarlett is going to let you go through it alone. 〛

〚 Wordcount - 1312 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

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The harsh heat from the sun beat down against you. It beat against everything really. Whilst filming in the summer was great, it really did have its drawbacks, especially when you had to film outside. One being the intense temperatures which you’d have to work in and today was no different.

Temperatures had reached an all-time high and if you were being honest, it had started to affect you. It had begun when you’d failed yet again to a decent night sleep. You’d hardly slept, mainly because of the sheer stuffiness of your trailer, another negative effect of the intense heat. The feeling of fatigue had gradually washed over you and before long you’d felt a headache begin to settle behind your eyes.

By some miracle, you’d managed to somewhat cover up how you felt, shrugging off your costars concerns, and everything had gone pretty smoothly too so far but as fate had it, that didn’t last long.

By the time lunchtime rolled around you felt awful, you could hardly keep yourself awake not to mention the thick cloud of fog which had taken refuge in your head. It felt like everything around you was being filtered through a sheet of cotton.

Looking down at your schedule, you saw that it was time to film your scenes with Scarlett. This was always your favourite part of the day. Scarlett was on the team of producers along with being one of your co-stars which meant during her work-hours were hectic meaning you only really saw her if you were filming together. Of course, you’d still see her after the day had finished, you did share a trailer afterall but it was always great to see her during the day too. So, you took a deep breath, readied yourself and stumbled down to set.

“Hi, my love,” Scarlett smiled wide when you finally made it onto set. It turns out walking is alot harder when your view of the world feels like it’s spinning around at 90mp/h, “You okay?” She asked, noticing your spaced gaze.

“Im fine.” You fibbed, waving off her concerns. You could tell she didn’t quite believe you but at that moment your director called for everyone to get into positions, so she had no choice but to drop it.

What happened next, in your mind, was nothing short of embarrassing. Scarlett gave her line perfectly but when it came to you… nothing? Your mind went blank, completely and utterly blank so instead of speaking, you just stood there awkwardly, looking off at some distant point.

“Cut! Y/N, what was that? Is everything alright?” The loud voice of your director snapped you out of your haze.

“Im sorry! My mind just went blank.” You apologised before getting back into your position, airily mindful of Scarlett’s eyes as she looked over you with an expression you couldn’t quite recognise. Was it worry?

"Just give me a minute."

You took a deep breath weary of Scarlet's eyes follow you, and not just her eyes. Her whole body seems to pivot toward you but still, she only watched as the both of you got back into your original positions.

"Action!" Your director shouted again.

You tried. You really did try. But that pain gnawing at your temples began too much, the world spun. it became hard to process what was going on around you and you found yourself tongue tied yet again.

Scarlett tried to cover for your mistake, inventing another line for her character. However, your director appears to be tired of your antics and calls out the command once again, "Cut. Y/N, I don't know what's going on with you today but if you're going to waste my time you can head back to your trailer."

Scarlett shot him a look that you’d hate to be on the receiving end of. You took a step forward as you began to stammer another apology, but a wave of nausea came over you, causing you to stop and cup your arm around your stomach as you winced.

The next thing you knew, your peripheral vision went black as your knees buckled, giving out beneath you sending you dropping to the floor with a thud.

“Y/N!” Scarlett shouted as she rushed over towards you, kneeling beside you in an instant, “Fuck. Are you okay?”

Your head felt unimaginably heavy as you struggled to fight against the urge to close your eyes. Barely registering Scarlett’s touch as her worried hands cupped your faces. But your efforts were in vain as only moments later, your vision swayed and dimmed as you inevitably blacked out.

You weren’t sure how long you were out. The next time you opened your eyes, your head was resting in Scarlett lap as she cradled you, quietly whispering words you couldn’t quite hear.

You made a noise of discomfort and confusion as you slowly came round, “Mm.”

“Jesus Christ Y/N, you almost gave me a heart attack.” Scarlett breathed a heavy sigh of relief as she helped you move up into a sitting position. She kept her arm around your shoulder to support you, but it was as her arm touched your exposed skin that she noticed the intense heat coming radiating from you. Prompting her to place her palm over your forehead.

“You’re way way too warm sweetheart,” Scarlett voiced as she kept her cool hand pressed against your forehead, calling over for the on-set medic so he could take a look at you now that you’d come too.

Ignoring your protests, the medic came over and knelt down with the two of you, he handed Scarlett cool, damp cloth which she used to gently dap along your forehead whilst making sure to keep her hand clasped around your own as the medic started his observation, looking over you with an unreadable expression.

“Headache?” He inquired.

You nodded.

“Fatigued?”

You nodded again.

“Have you been feeling nauseous at all?” He asked as he reached into his bag, rooting over before pulling out a thermometer.

“A little.” You admitted, not missing the small worried glance Scarlett gave you hearing your answer.

The medic hummed as he held his thermometer to your head. It was the fancy kind which required no actual contact for it work. Seconds later it beeped, the small digital screen gave off an orange light as it displayed the numbers ‘38.7’.

“You’re running a fever. A pretty high one at that, combined with your other symptoms I think it's safe to say that you’re experiencing heat exhaustion.” He announced before standing up, “you shouldn’t work for the next day or so, not until this heat dies down a little. Try your best to keep cool and your symptoms should slowly go away too.”

“Thanks.” You gave a weak smile as the medic left to go and sort out some paperwork and you slowly began to pull yourself up.

“Easy there,” Scarlett soothed as she helped you stand, “I guess we better get you back to the trailer, you should’ve said you weren’t feeling well. Heat exhaustion isn’t a joke y’know.”

“I know, Im sorry.” You sighed, taking Scarlett’s hand in your own, “I didn’t think it was that bad.”

“It's alright, let’s just get you cooled off, a cold shower should make you feel better too.” Scarlett smiled as she began to lead you away from the set, “you’ll be okay, is there anything else I can do to make you feel better sweetie?”

You shrugged, ignoring your discomfort as the hot sun shined down onto you, magnifying your nausea, “I just need to cool off,” You tried to sound assuring, giving a soft smile as the pair of you continued towards your trailer, “Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Of course, now, let's get you inside.” She smiled as you approached your trailer, “I promise you’ll start feeling better soon.”

[99point9percentwhump]

BBC ATLANTIS

The midday sun was beating down as Jason and Pythagoras struggled to push the over weighted wooden cart thru the soft sand just outside the city with Hercules picking up the rear.

"come on lads nearly there now." came the jovial encouragement from behind Pythagoras stood stretching his back painfully shooting the larger of the three a dirty look

"You know we'd have been there a half hour ago if you helped." the blond mathematician pointed out as Jason leaned wearily on the cart.

Hercules scoffed offended "Its my shoulder! I need to rest it or it'll never heal." rubbing it for dramatic effect.

Jason drew a hand across his sweaty forehead trying to fight off the wave of nausea threatening to strike "Pythagoras lets just get on with it." and readied to continue the journey into the city as Pythagoras  continued his disagreement with the older of the three "It'd probably heal faster if you didn't keep reinjuring it lifting pint mugs!" he accused.

Feeling anger and starting to physically shake Jason turned abruptly to the two "would you both just shut it and get this damn thing moving!" Jason shouted louder than intended shocking the duo

Hercules squinted at the younger man as he noted him starting to sway slightly "You alright?"

"w-we just have a little further to..." was all Jason managed before his gaze turned to the sky and his eyes rolled back and his body gave out collapsing to the sand barely being caught in the arms of Pythagoras  who struggled to support his deadweight.

"Jason?!" both men called out in worry as Pythagoras  eased him to the ground Hercules knelled down to take the younger man in his arms as Pythagoras lifted one of Jason's eyelids then placed a hand on his friends forehead "He's very warm!" he noted worried

"It is very hot out." Hercules pointed out leading to shake his head "no this is something else I think he has sun sickness we need to get him home."

Hercules pondered the situation for a moment "Right."

He grasped Jason under the shoulders and lifted him into his arms.

and the two rushed thru the busy streets to their sanctuary.

_______________________________________

in their shared dwelling finally out of the scorching sun Hercules lay the younger man on his bed.

"we need to cool him down take off his tunic and Ill make a tonic!" commented Pythagoras as Hercules followed his orders.

Once the drink was ready Pythagoras returned to Jason "Help sit him up."

Bracing Jason between them Pythagoras poured his herbal elixir between his friend's lips causing his to cough after a moment and finally his eyes fluttered open and gaze blurrily at the duo.

Hercules smiled "There he is."

Pythagoras peered into Jason's eyes and ran a hand over his forehead then let out a sigh or relief "think he's gonna be ok."

Jason groaned "i feel more dead than alive"

Letting a chuckle " as long as you dont go fainting on us again Im sure youll be up to getting the cart back here before dark eh!"

"I did NOT faint!" Jason countered

"well technically..." Pythagoras started but a cured look from Jason cut him off. "well you most certainly not going to go pushing that bloody cart at least."

Hercules scoffed "Fine Ill just have to use the donkey to bring it in then."

Both Jason and Pythagoras looked at the older man shocked "You mean you had a mule to pull that cart the whole time and didn't use it?!"

Hercules looked offeneded "Firstly a mule isnt a donkey second the cost would've been taken out of our pay and it was outrageous trust me." he finished with a nervous chuckle.

"How much?" Pythagoras asked causing Hercules to stammer "In terms of ale how much?!"

Jason grabbed the pillow behind him and threw it at the older man who ducked and took several quick steps to the door "two maybe three but its a sacrifice I'm willing to pay for till Jason is over his fainting spells." and he bolted out of the house.

Leaving Pythagoras and a still shaky Jason to look at each other dumbfounded Jason fell back heavily to the bed "Never."

Pythagoras shook his head "Nope ever again helping that... that mule of a man!" Jason laughed then groaned and lay an arm over his eyes.

[icey--stars]

Stories To Be Told: PART 15

Series Index

A shadowsinger, a warrior, an Illyrian, that's what she was. Trained by one of the most formidable female warriors. Escaped the Illyrian camps and her clipping when she was barely sixteen and is now the holder of 6 siphons. What happens when she tries to sneak into the City of Starlight? And starts down a whole new road of chaos?

a/n: im gonna be honest ya’ll. im giving MYSELF backlash with this damn writing lmao. one second she loves az. the next second she’s back to cussing him out. i love it and hate it so much right now. but dont worry. itll end soon.

↢ 『 ☾ 』 ↣

I didn’t sleep that night either. Nothing could quell these thoughts in my mind. The walk had done nothing. Azriel had done nothing. My thoughts were not only hitched on that stupid dream I had, but the few memories I had of… the event. Gods, I needed to find a way to refer to that. Rather than just the “event”. 

The next morning, with my eyes sunken in and my head feeling so incredibly weird, there was a knock on my door.

I stood up, limping a little bit less as I cracked the door. Azriel, of course, was on the other side of it. I opened the door a bit more, leaning against the frame as I stared at the hazel-eyed male.

“You look tired,” he observed. “Did you manage to sleep last night?”

I sighed, rolling my eyes. “If you’re coming here to check on my well being again, I’m fine. The fact I told you I was thinking at all is a miracle.” The thread in my check yanked again and I grit my teeth hard.

“I’m aware, I’m not here to push it. Cassian canceled training today, so I was going to invite you. Since you wanted to continue training and all,” he explained.

I cocked a brow. I did remember saying that. Az was here to actually make good on that promise?

“Why’d he cancel?” I asked curiously, opening the door a bit more as I moved to grab my leathers.

“Unrest in Illyria, Rhys went with him. And seeing as you’re already not taking Madja’s advice seriously, I figured training couldn’t be too bad, since you walked nearly 15 miles in the forest.”

I narrowed my eyes, jerking my head to meet his gaze. “How do you know that?”

“Shadows can do a lot more than you think.”

I rolled my eyes, strapping on my last dagger before following him through the halls. He didn’t go to the balcony, where we would fly up, instead, as if still concerned for my healing, he led the way up the stairs to the training area.

The fresh breath of air I got when we finally got up onto that little plateau, was relieving in the best of ways.

“Would you like to work with mitts first? Or something else?” Azriel asked, stretching out his wings a bit as a wind blew from the left.

“That sounds fine,” I replied, hiding a yawn behind my forearm as Azriel went to retrieve the equipment we needed.

“By the way,” He said, walking to me. I’d settled myself into one of the fighting rings. “You’re wearing your leathers for the Day Court meeting. Along with the other Valkyries.”

“Alright.”

Azriel seemed a lot different than a few days ago. We had been arguing before the event. And now he has gone a lot more… placid and compliant to my requests to leave things be. Which, don’t get me wrong, I appreciated it, but it just made me wonder.

Was he getting tired of forcing himself to deal with me? Or was I really just being that sensitive? Maybe I’d spent too long away from actual civilization. Maybe this was actually all totally normal. Maybe-

I cut off my thoughts as I wrapped my knuckles with a bit of cloth offered to me.

Azriel had protective sparring pads on his hands, and braced himself carefully, and then gave me a challenging look. “Let out whatever you’ve been holding. If you need to work off the strain working your body to the bone, we can deal with the fallout.”

My lips tightened, and then I settled into a stance and threw the first punch. Azriel didn’t budge, just had his arms out in front of him, preparing for the next. So I kept it up. I threw the next punch with more force behind it, and then another. I kicked high, my body basically splitting in half, and then righting myself quickly, punching skillfully again.

I didn’t focus on who was behind the pads, just… I just let go. Punching became the silence I needed. Kicking became my release. It almost felt like I was back with Rainne. Training with her again.

Distantly, I thought about what she’d told me right now.

“Little bird… you need rest.”

“I can’t rest!” I argued.

She clicked her tongue, pulling the pads back up. “Then hit. Until you cannot anymore. Until your thoughts are no longer too loud. Remember to breathe. Follow through. Whatever hurts you… let it flow through.”

I knew the shadows were whispering to me, telling me to stop. They weren’t always unkind. Sometimes they worked to keep me from losing myself. It just wasn’t common. The kind ones were never as loud as the ones who claim to have better decisions than I. 

The pads dropped. With it, my focus.

I looked up to meet Azriel’s eyes. “What?”

“Are you… alright? Your shadows are going insane or something. Even I can hear them from right here,” he admitted.

I glanced back. The shadows were large and flowing around me, and I heard them basically screaming. “Shut up,” I ordered quickly. “I’m fine you little pests.”

The shadows calmed after a few moments of placating. I pulled them closer and then turned back to Azriel. At least whispers of my failures hadn’t been coming through them, I thought distantly. That was always a good thing.

“I’m fine. How long have we been doing this?”

“Almost an hour.”

That shocked me, my eyes widening. “Didn’t mean to get so much into that,” I admitted. “Do you want a turn?”

“I’ll only take a turn if you’re certain you’ve worked off whatever is up with you.”

“I’m fine,” I lied and began unwrapping my hands.

Azriel put one of the pads to my hands. I raised my gaze. “You sure?” He asked.

I sighed. “I’m alright Az. Your turn.”

We switched equipment and I braced myself carefully, and let Azriel get in his own punching as well. My body ached distantly from all that I’d been doing. Goddamn. Ever since I got caught up with this Inner Circle, I’d have the most crazy ride of emotions and events. It was nothing like the forests, or the years that passed by in just the blink of an eye. No, I’d been here for a while, but it hadn’t even been that long. The days dragged instead of passed.

But you wouldn’t have met any of them if this hadn't happened. Nesta, Emerie, Gwyn, you wouldn’t have met any of them. Know them at all even.

Friends. I hadn’t had friends for a long time. And now I have three sisters. Not by blood, but it felt impossible. I’d lived the majority of my life either alone, with Rainne, or mourning for her. And now it was like a whole new life I had. Whether for good or for bad. So far, it's been both. Training and being with my friends was great. Azriel, work and the event had been absolutely terribly confusing or painful to think about.

“Be here,” Azriel said suddenly, breaking me of my stare with his wrapped fists. “You keep getting that look that you’re thinking about something that’s in the past.”

“How would you know?” I countered, taking his next blow with ease.

“I get the same way,” He admitted, looking up for a moment before sending a winding kick. “You keep thinking that much and you won’t like what you find. So be here. Right now.”

He flared his wings as he moved to punch again. I grunted as he hit true. Strong damn Illyrians, I cursed.

“See now you look frustrated. That’s better than the thinking look you have,” Azriel commented. “If you’re thinking about the events that have happened, you have to find a way to stop. Find a way to not… zone out or whatever. If you have to, use your anger to keep you centered. Or something, anything else. Thinking does you no good if you’re just upsetting yourself.”

“How do you know I’m upsetting myself?” I countered, moving to the side of him, forcing him to move with me. “How do you know? What if I’m just thinking about the creatures I met in the woods yesterday?”

“You get… a look when you’re upset. That’s all,” Azriel replied. “What creatures did you meet?”

“A lot of wolves,” I replied. “And something that was dangerous, but it was the one who can’t climb.”

“A Fright?” Azriel guessed. “I’ve seen a few.”

“I think that’s what they’re called,” I answered. “Only see them in the Night Court.”

“They have other creatures in other courts.”

Azriel paused after a bit. He and I kept sharing a few words. I shared a few about creatures I saw in the Winter Court. He shared his from the times he was tasked to check out reports of them and then deal with them. 

“Would you like to continue, or are you done?” He asked, unwrapping his hands as I slid the pads off.

I lowered my gaze to the sandy ground. Did he want to continue? Or was I once again burdening someone else?

“I’m good,” I answered. “I’m going to go find Nesta, see if I can do a dance lesson.”

He raised a brow. “Nesta’s teaching you to dance?”

I nodded.

“Good luck then. I’ve seen her skill for myself, so I hope you can keep up.”

I rolled my eyes and left him as he put back the equipment, wanting away. I just keep avoiding people, I noticed.

I spotted Nesta reading in one of the chairs of the common room. “Nesta,” I regarded as I approached.

She lifted her gaze, and her lips raised in a smile. “Y/N, how are you doing? Your injuries mostly healed?”

I nodded. “It’s only some slight pain. I was hoping to uhm- maybe do a dance lesson?”

She stood, placing the book on a side table. “Yes,” Nesta said, grinning. “Yes, that sounds amazing. That book was getting boring anyway.”

“Just pining after each other endlessly? Or ignoring each other's presence until the end of time?” I guessed.

She gasped. “How did you know!? Yes! That’s exactly what they’re doing! Both!”

I chuckled. “Their the most endless tropes I know of. Only reason I ever read them is because they tend to have a good confession scene.”

“You read romance, I like you even more. I didn’t even think that was possible,” She chuckled, walking towards me. “Alright, follow me, I know where we can start.”

Nesta grabbed onto my hand and began to drag me after her. I stumbled a bit but quickly jogged beside her quick pace.

“Have you never danced before?” She asked.

“Rainne tried to teach me one formal Winter Court dance once. I think we just forgot to practice. Or we decided to not go to the Solstice celebration that year.”

“Better than nothing. I learned all the formal ones, so I’ll teach them to you. In case you ever end up needing to know them. I practice with an instructor down in Velaris sometimes, but normally I just tend to steal Cassian.”

I scoffed, amused. “What are you stealing Cassian from?”

“Brooding, or paperwork. I don’t know- he’s the general, so general-y things.”

I chuckled. “Yes, general-y things.”

She hummed. “Do you want to learn the female side of the dances only? Or would you like to learn both? We can steal Az and get him to help with those.”

I shook my head immediately. “No- no, I’ll just learn the female ones. I can learn the male ones by watching.”

She and I walked into an empty room that was pretty large. Nesta walked confidently toward the middle of the room, pausing as she turned back to me.

“Alright. First order of business!” She declared. “Hand placement.”

Dancing, it seems, was actually quite complicated with the specifics like hand placement, and where you go with the dance and all the more complicated steps. But it seems that the grace I displayed with my footwork when fighting, actually was quite similar to these formal dances Nesta insisted I try. My thigh twinged uncomfortably on a couple moves, like the spins or dips, but I just grit my teeth and continued. Luckily, my wings proved barely a problem. Besides the dip, when a male’s arm generally goes behind your back. Nesta managed to work it in a way that comfortably rested on the small of my back. 

My shadows, however, fell in love with the movements instantly, swirling around me as if they were learning to dance themselves. Some still remained wreathed around me, writhing happily as I completed a movement successfully, while others tried to do it themselves in the shadows that my wings cast on the ground.

Nesta was stronger and more confident in her moves than me or my shadows. Distantly, I thought about what she would be like with a skilled partner. Probably very regal and graceful, I guessed.

“You did well on your first day!” She insisted as we walked out of the room. “It's just memorizing the dances now. Think of them like battle maneuvers. Except instead of fighting, you’re dancing with a partner.”

“Yeah,” I hummed. It was almost dinner.

“By the way- Rhys asked me to ask you if you were going to become a Valkyrie. Do you know?”

I smiled. “Yeah, I think I will. Azriel told me as well. I have to cut a ribbon, right?”

“Yes.”

“Shouldn’t be too hard. You think I can sneak into training tomorrow and get it done?”

“With Cassian banning you from training? No,” she chuckled. “Just wait.”

I rolled my eyes. “I can deal with Cassian,” I insisted.

“Y/N,” she warned. “Heal first.”

“Fine,” I grumbled. “But first day back and I’m cutting it.”

Nesta chuckled, smiling. “Yeah, you do that. We can dance again tomorrow if you lose that pain in your thigh you keep wincing from when you spin.”

I scoffed. She gave me a look. “Fine,” I conceded. “I’ll wait.” 

↢ 『 ☾ 』 ↣

TAGLIST (see post for getting added)

@mis-lil-red, @bunnymallowo, @judig92, @biblophilefox82, @azzydaddy, @thegirlintheshadows101, @whatupmydudes01, @feyres-fireheart, @elizarikaallen, @xenlynn, @panzees-bizarre-adventures, @starswholistenanddreamsanswered, @baebeepeach, @nyctophiliiiiaaa, @brekkershadowsinger, @officiallyunofficialperson, @bookslut420, @margssstuff, @bluephoenix908, @goldentournesol, @rebloggiest-reblogger

[milf-harrington]

Ooh tell me about trailer park neighbours please

gladly!! it's one of my steve-has-an-older-sister fics, and it's a mix of pov's and a bit of a relationship study w/ a side of steddie it's just not the focus. i also think i might end up making it a 5+1 fic, but im not sure yet.

louisa, older than steve by about 5-ish years, lives in the trailer park after being kicked out by their dad. her plan was to move to chicago and go to school or something, but she couldn't bring herself to just leave her mum or her little brother, so she stuck around. despite being really close as kids, their parents manage to turn steve against lou by basically just brainwashing him, but when steve starts reevaluating his life in s1, he realises he misses her and reaches out and they wind up having weekly dinners

in the beginning those dinners tended to end in arguments that cut the evening short and steve would storm off and drive home, it happens less and less as they grow closer again and stop feeling like they constantly have to have their guards up around eachother

and then there's eddie, who is one of lou's neighbours and doesn't really know who she is - he sort of thinks shes one of king steves conquests at first, what with the way they were yelling at each other that first time he saw them, but then steve just keeps coming back and eddie can't really make sense of it

and then, july '85, someone starts banging on eddie's door and it's louisa and she's like "i need to borrow your first aid kit" and eddie ends up following her back to her trailer and finds a very bloody, slightly delirious, steve harrington on her couch which is when he finds out they're siblings. and steve's like. still a tiny bit drugged and also finally coming down from the adrenaline of the whole night so he just sleepily babbles about how pretty eddie is and eddie's like o///o

here's a lil snippet also:

Someone was knocking on his door, frantic heavy slamming like the slap of an open palm. "Alright, alright!" Eddie yelled, trying to wrap his hair in a towel and yank on pyjama pants at the same time. He threw open the door, hinges groaning and skin still damp from the shower, to find the woman from down the road standing on his porch. Her name was Lisa, or Lucy, or something, and she looked frazzled, dressed in a grey singlet and pink pyjama shorts, hair falling out of its scrunchie. There was blood smeared on her shoulder and jaw, staining her fingers. "I need to borrow your first aid kit." Alarmed, Eddie let go of the towel half wrapped around his head and felt it fall, hot and damp, around his shoulders. His hair followed, cold strings of wet spaghetti down his neck, but he ignored it. "Are you okay?" "I just need your first aid kit, do you have one or not?" "I- yeah?" He stuttered, automatically stepping back to let her in. She glanced down the road, towards her own trailer, eyes worried, before following him inside. "It's just in the kitchen." He told her, somewhat uselessly but unsure what else to do, as he reached up to pull the box from the top of the fridge. "So, what do you-" "Can I just take the whole thing?" She asked, clearly itching to get back to whatever emergency she needed the kit for, and Eddie paused. "Do you need help?"

[quietbluejay]

False Gods 6

you know im a little surprised that Erebus didn't go for "he's going to thunder warrior you" instead but that might be too big of a pill for Horus to swallow so he goes for Horus' fears instead

Erebus: think, horus, think! if this was entirely science why didn't he make 100 or 1000 horuses?

all i can think of is

Horus: the Emperor would never! like honestly I know it's controversial but I actually think most of this dream sequence is well done

the entire dream sequence should really have been "step 1" in corrupting horus not him right at the end deciding "yeah i'll go with erebus who has been lying to me the whole time" and then suddenly waking up as sexy evil lamp horus you know all his appearances could be replaced by a sexy lamp with "evil" written on it

the exceptions being, what, Vengeful Spirit and a few bits in Slaves to Darkness

Erebus: yeah you're all warpy Horus starts having the beginnings of what sounds like a panic attack Horus: so we're tainted, all of us… Erebus: noooo it's just power, it's about how you use it (lol) Horus: so why'd the Emperor do a bad job? Erebus: because he was weak leannnnsss towards Horus Erebus: not like you

Horus: take your hands off me, "Sejanus", and yeah i know it's not actually Sejanus the Custodes run in and dramatically point a spear at Horus and tell him to halt and face judgement

he's hurt that the Imperium fired at him Horus finally loses it and goes wild on the Custodians

you'd think that okay maybe that'd be his first instinct to talk to Valdor but okay…when's he going to remember he's time travelling…

anyways it's now down to him vs Valdor and the force of the fight is starting to affect the tanks, so Horus backs off

hmmm

Horus, you recognize Valdor but not your dad….. and time snaps back to reality ope there goes gravity and the tanks are born away on a whirlwind

okay

back over to loken

loken really isn't in the mood for a qruze story

qruze: the what loken internally: shit loken: the weapon that wounded Horus qruze: ahhh it must be powerful loken quickly changes the subject he wanted to go back down to davin but he was worried about what he'd do to abaddon or little horus qruze talks a bit about brotherhood

qruze tells Loken about how dare Varvarus want things like telling the fleet what happened, giving compensation to the victims' families, and punishing the guys responsible

Loken internally: welp RIP Maloghurst for having to deal with this loken also drinking that astartes superiority kool aid unsurprising tbh

but loken notices something else qruze said about remembrancers

karkasy….maybe you shouldn't have named it after a phrase that was said in a significant conversation with an astartes… though i mean, tbf, once loken saw the poems he'd probably catch on so of course now we cut to Karkasy who is feeling like he was productive and deserves a little treat he notices a whole lot of lectitio divinitatus symbols scratched on the walls and figures if he follows them he'd end up at a prayer meeting wow they've gotten bold

oh karkasy i'm afraid your universe is much, much worse than that he gets back to his door and apparently astartes smell like piss wait no i misread the corridor smells like piss but he can smell astartes even above that he's been found out he decides to face it like a man and enters his room to find loken reading his notebooks

you know what i'm proud of karkasy

though i guess he's got nothing to lose, but still it's more brave than he'd have been before karkasy: you're the one who told me to tell the truth even when it was unpalatable he managed to hit loken in his weak spot and he collapses a bit and sits on karkasy's bed

they have to stay out of the gray spaces as well which is LMAO but i get that what he means is with respect to the people they are supposed to be the defenders of and karkasy says he's going to keep writing til they throw him in jail well, loken can't argue with that lol otherwise he's a tyrant so he's putting karkasy under his protection

time for Keeler and Sindermann to talk Sindermann has been isolating himself for a while, though i mean i guess we knew that already but like he's been really isolating himself

ugh

you know given the state of Terra and everything, why would being thin be desirable? but i know im expecting too much from McNeill here so Sindermann wants to know more about the Imperial Cult Keeler is dubious because she thought he'd use his iterator skills to try and deconvert her

ah i do love irony specifically i'm referring to "religious hectoring from an autocratic priesthood" the pattern Sindermann has noticed is that there's a mysterious giant gold figure that keeps showing up in all these old texts sindermann thinks he's got his hands on the book of lorgar the one written by lorgar which is, er, written in a derivation of an ancient human language …that's supposed to be Colchisian right? it's one Sindermann doesn't recognize though

lol lmao

Sindermann: what if we've been wrong our whole lives Sindermann: i think we need a god more than ever keeler: w t f it's in cuneiform the book, that is

over to Horus and now his hallucination takes him to Cthonia

also, Erebus is gone and he hears the wolves again Horus: OKAY FINALLY LETS GET THIS OVER WITH voila, it is magnus

im still not over how he sacrificed a few thousand people for this like way to prove the haters wrong buddy

Magnus: it's YOU who is the impostor Magnus: BEHOLD ITS EREBUS Erebus: ok i lied to you about who i was but i was totally telling the truth about everything else Magnus: nuh uh Erebus: uh huh

and now over to Keeler and Sindermann time to look at some pictures

they're identical to the ones in the book of lorgar Keeler makes a composite image of the tattoos and prints it out

this is literally word salad im not going to bang on about it because this is probably a time crunch thing but geez so Sindermann goes to work on the translation and Keeler looks around at the books he's been reading she picks up a book that calls to her, against her better judgement

meanwhile Sindermann is stuck reading out loud and can't stop

oops! daemon summoning she ends up punching Sindermann to try and get him to let go of the book it works and he's able to stop and the two of them start running but unfortunately the daemon is enough here to chase after them

disco party daemon

so things aren't looking so good for our duo! it's about to breathe flames on them!

ending the scene on a cliffie

[arisherifeu]

Broken People Part III

Author’s Note: Im asking myself how did this story ended up getting part III? That’s the the thing about impulsive writing. It just happens. ໒(⊙ᴗ⊙)७✎▤

WARNING ‼️- DRUG ABUSE

Part I Part II Part IV

Last night felt like fever dream for Lynette. House came, struck a fight, James got angry, she confessed she was using drugs to stabilise her chronic migraines that comes every time she moves and today, she was still not going to work. It was already 5 am and she attentively watches James sleeping on the couch where he offered to stay for the night.

Lynette went over at the couch but she sat on the floor, her back against the couch. Carefully trying not to wake James up. She brought her knees to her chests as she contemplates on what to do with herself. She knew what she needed to do. But she was scared. She loves being a doctor. She didn’t want to lose any credibility. A part of her was hoping that House wouldn’t say anything at all. Not to anybody. Because she heard stories about how ruthless House can be. She was scared and intimidated by how powerful House was at the hospital. Would she be spared from his ruthlessness? It wasn’t fair to her. Because House was just as guilty as he supposed to be. This hospital would be bankrupt if anyone exposed what House did to his patients despite saving their life. Lynette was thinking hard. She got too worried.

But a gentle pat on her back relinquished her from all the evil thoughts. She lifted her head to the side to see Wilson sat up, looking at her endearingly. “I hope you’re feeling a little bit better today.” He wished.

And to be honest it kinda did. Just a little bit better.

______________________________________

James decided to stay at home together so they can talk things out today. He was just so glad that he already settled down all his patients charts and the medicine to be prescribed to them today. So, he doesn’t have to worry about work at all. While Lynette got herself sorted out in the shower room, James helped himself to her kitchen trying to make something out with the things he found in the fridge. For someone who doesn’t eat much like Lynette, he was just really glad the fridge and the pantry were stocked with food. He decided to make a heavy breakfast for her to start off the day. So he managed to make eggs, toasts and sausages with cut up apples on the side.

Lynette walks in the kitchen smelling something so delicious. With towel on her head, cropped shirt that display her awfully skinny body with protruding bones in her baggy sized jogger pants that dropped lower than her waist. James unconsciously eyes her again. He couldn’t stop worrying. Hoping that she will never ever fell and break her bones.

“I made a heavy breakfast.” He smiles.

“It smells nice, James.” She smiles back.

They both sat together at the eating table. Face to face as they eat in silence. Lynette didn’t gobble up the food at once like she did before. She was slightly scared that she might throw up again so she ate slower as she can.

“I can’t thank you enough..” she started. She was still looking at her food. To be honest, she was still shy. She was timid as she was yesterday after listening to the whole ordeal about the fight yesterday with House.

“It’s fine. I am just sorry that he went through your personal record. But trust me, he means well. He just can’t put it into good words..He understands..you know hes on vicodin..” James began.

Lynette just kept eating in silent. James doesn’t push her with anything except to eat silently with her too because he knows its hard for her to admit to everything thats happening. He was also worried about the fact that the relationship started off on the wrong foot.

“I lost my dad at the hospital I used to work before Princeton..I jeopardised the whole operation thinking that I knew better than the doctors who had his chart. That was my dad and I couldn’t let anything happen to him. He was the only I had left. So I..” Lynette stopped, subtly choked on her food. Trying hard to swallow the food with the glass of water in her hands.

“You don’t have to tell me the story if you don’t want to. You don’t owe me anything.” James clarify. He held her left hand. Lynette looks deeply into his eyes, feeling comforted but she knew in the end he will found out about her maybe from someone else’s mouth so she decided to come clean with it. It’s the best way to get this relationship stabilised.

“You just need to understand, I am not the person you know today or these 6 months before. I was different. How I was back then was just the consequences of self negligence. I did it, with my dad in my mind hoping he would still be alive on that table when the doctors cut him. But I was wrong, it was never the heart, even when he has the condition before. It was his head. But even with all the blackmails I did to the doctors, to force them carve open my dad’s heart. It was already enough to send me into some sort of vortex. My license should have been revoked but I was saved. Then all I know I was already here. Then my migraine came and haunt me. It wouldn’t stop hurting. I feel pain every time I move anywhere. So I took the pills and they help.” She stopped there.

By then, James already stopped eating his food. James silently stares at her unknowingly that he has been caressing her left hand and never let go. Even when the story ended. Lynette’s heart has never been that fast. She couldn’t hear herself breathe because of how strong the heartbeat of her heart is. Her hand started shaking. James noticed and he just held it more tight. Not letting go. He sat silently. Grieving with her as she tries her best but her body’s started to shake, quite vigorously. James got so worried that he pulled Lynette from the kitchen and bring her straight to the bed where he covers her with the blanket. She was already on the withdrawal phase he suspected.

“When did you stop taking the pills?” He questioned. Lynette was already shaking profusely with sweat all over her forehead. “Last week..” she said but almost sounded like a whisper.

“You didn’t take any pills then? At all?” He questioned again sternly. But Lynette can only shook her head trying to deal with the pain in her head.

“You’re doing so well. You look better. You’re gonna get better in a couple more days.” He motivates. James was astonished at the woman’s durability. James passed her a cup of water to chug. Which helps to stabilise her electrolytes. James hugged her the best way he possibly could so he could stop the shaking. Which did help Lynette to become more calmer.

She was way worse before in the last week when she first stopped taking the pills. Her head pain worsens, nausea and vomiting everywhere. She doesn’t even have the energy to clean her own mess that she would leave it for a few days till maggots formed around it. She slept on her bed for a few days dealing with her pain, crying. But she had to go to work. She was so good at hiding her pain when nobody else watches. Even James didn’t realised that her demeanour changed. Lynette can only feel glad that the withdrawal doesn’t seemed as bad and that only her head hurts and she was glad that James doesn’t see her worst side.

Lynette suddenly shot up, James was taken aback. Lynette started running towards the toilet and vomit all the content that she had. James trailed behind and held her hair up, stroking her back while she vomits all that she can.

“We gotta go to the hospital, Lynette.” James started.

“No. I am not going anywhere near a hospital.” Lynette resisted.

“But we gotta do scans, we gotta do MRI. We can find if there’s anything we can do to subside your migraine.” He tries to convince. Lynette slowly closed the lid of the toilet, and flushed the contents. She sat with her back against the wall, looking at James weakly. She already has to deal with the pain but now she has to resist James knowing James can just force her to get the scans. But she was adamant, she can fix this on her own. James started to spoon her, and carry her with ease to the couch. He was worried at the lack of fat she has in her body considering her weight was like a feather.

James gave her more water by filling up a bottle and hand it to her to drink. She drank willingly. James also brought her unfinished food to the couch table, in hoping she can try to eat again. Lynette willingly takes another bite at the toast, slowly chewing. She was afraid to vomit again but she was hungry. She needed the energy. Thankfully, she managed to eat everything even though she took around an hour and a half to finished them all.

By then, she has some energy to walk around in the house. Just pacing around. James watches attentively to everything she was doing. She decided to do housework and started uncovering her bed sheets and pillow sheets but James sighed and went up to her.

“I will do it. If you let me?” He requested but more commanding. He held her forearms very gently.

“It’s fine, James. I need something to distract myself right now.” Lynette said looking at him, feeling kind of cranky.

“But what you need is rest..” he looked at her with his puppy dog eyes.

“Is that how you flirt with most women?” She scoffed, feeling blushed looking at his soft eyes.

“It still works.” James smiling shyly at her.

Lynette softened. She looked at James with the most smitten look on her face that she immediately blushed right after. She went over to her drawer to get fresh sheets to hide her blushes.

“Can I ask you a question?” James asked.

“Shoot.” Lynette responds after passing him right side of the bed sheet so James could fit his side of the edge.

“Do you have someone before this?” He questioned nonchalantly while Lynette stopped in her tracks, feeling weirded out by the question.

“Well I haven’t been thinking about it for quite some time now..had that monkey love when I was at school..but that was like 7 years ago. I couldn’t be bothered with this because of my dad.” She answered and she finally got the left side edge fitted on to the mattress, leaving the pillow sheets left.

“Is it still recent? About your dad?” James asked again.

“Well yeah..it’s technically last year. Tomorrow night should be his first death anniversary.” Lynette answered finally got the new bedsheet sorted in with James’s help. Lynette lay on the bed feeling a bit tired just from doing that small chore. James just sat beside her, arms stretched out holding his weight while his legs stretched across the bed.

“I’m not just some damaged goods right..?” Lynette questions.

“Why do you think so?” James asked worryingly. Lynette took a minute to answer because she was nervous, so she decided to lay on her other side so she doesn’t have to look at James.

“I don’t like the look in your eyes James. You’re looking at me as if Im damaged beyond reparable. You look nice. But your eyes are telling me I am just too different than any other person you saw. It’s the same look you give House too.. sometimes I see how you looked at him and I wondered if it was true…that I am just the girl version of him. Thinking that if you could fix me .. maybe there’s a way for you to fix him..” Lynette finished. James looked defeated. He loves Lynette for she was but she was needy. She needed someone on her side and James decided to stepped up to the role. He hated how House was right that he always comes to the rescue when this case happened.

James was frustrated but he couldn’t say anything. Instead he got up and walk out. Lynette got up and trailed behind him but as soon as she saw James reaching for his jacket and walk towards the door, Lynette ran after him. An adrenaline rush throughout her whole body. She rushed to hug him from behind. James was surprised because of the momentum his body felt when she hugged him.

“Even if it was true! I…I don’t want you to leave. I have no one else..” Lynette trembled, because she was desperate to stay connected to the feeling that she has right now with James. It was the one thing that could make her keep going. Something that she could look forward to. James was saddened, as if he didn’t feel the same epiphany before because he knew, he relied too much on House as well and wanted House to change and be someone like Lynette. House is his best friend. But with Lynette it’s so much different.

James turned his body and looked at Lynette with his left hand on her jaw, feeling her warmth, his thumb caressing it. He looked in her eyes with the same puppy dog eyes he always have. “Do you trust me enough when I said I love you?”

[i-am-beckyu]

AHHHH IM SO HAPPY YOU ENJOYED THE CONCERT IM SO JEALOUS BUT REALLY HAPPY FOR YOUUU!!! LIKE SERIOUSLY! totally deserved, i hope you had a good birthday season :D <3 <3

also happy halloween! trick or treat? :3

THANK YOUUUUUUUUU IT WAS FLIPPEN AMAZING AND JUST MY GOSH I SO WANNA GO AGAIN! WAS AN AMAZING NIGHT!!!!! HALF ALIVE IN CONCERT IS A MUST SEE!!!!

and now I'm gonna ramble about it in full under the cut :3

Okay okay okay so like the whole thing was just wonderful and considering the last music concert I saw live was when I was like 9, this was a HUGE experience!

So like I went with my dad (cause obviously he is my best choice lol) and I kinda know how he'll be late and all the rest if you say it starts at a certain time. So obviously I told him the concert started at 7:30pm, when in reality the doors opened at 7:30pm.

If there is one thing you should 100% do when going to a concert it is get there early cause we arrived at like 6:45pm and by the time the doors opened we were in the front 1/4 of the line that stretched ALLLLLL the way down the street. And I don't know if this happens at other places, but like I got this cool smiley face stamp to go in but other people got like the wrist band so I don't know what that really meant but it was cool regardless lol.

But anyways, cause we were so early, we got in before it got super packed so I had a choice of where I wanted to be cause the whole place was a mosh pit basically. BUT! There was this little upstairs loft bit that you could watch from the balcony and it had seating!!!

Now tbh I love my dad but I didn't want to go stand in the mosh pit the whole night by myself and knew he was just gonna sit at the back cause he had no idea who Half Alive was but I wanted to be with him.

So I absolutely SCORED when we got two chairs in the balcony bit, right in the middle!! This lady was sitting in a seat with one next to her free and it turned out she was the manager of the band opening the show which was so cool to meet and chat with her and she said she wasn't staying and gave us her seat and the spare one. Bless her TwT.

I got to sit the whole night without my legs getting sore, had THE best viewing spot with no one in front of me AND could get pics and vids without having to worry about the video cause it just balanced on the balcony bit so I could enjoy the show too!

Like yes I know I could have been in the mosh pit, but for me it was so much better to be where I was cause I got to share the moment with my Dad! (who had ear plugs in the whole time from all the screaming fans lol but he thoroughly enjoyed the night even tho he had no idea what to expect)

And now of course the actual performance

OH MY GOSH IT WAS CRAZY! HALF ALIVE IN PERSON IS JUST AN ABSOLUTE AMAZING EXPERIENCE AND I SO WISH I HAD GOTTEN THE VIP TREATMENT LIKE MAN I LOVED IT!!!!

Like you know how sometimes seeing bands live vs their music sounds different cause of like auto tune and stuff like that? WELL THERE WAS NONE OF THAT HERE! IT WAS ALL RAW VOCALS AND JUST MIND BLOWING!!! I AM SOOOOOOO HAPPY I HAVE THE CLIPS AND BITS THAT I DO CAUSE LIKE AHHHHHH I AM IN LOVE WITH IT!!!

They didn't perform every song obviously but like there were bits and pieces of sings in some bits and like the way they performed each number and getting ready in between was flawless. Like it all flowed seamlessly into the next song and just AHH THEY ARE PROFESSIONALS I ADORE I ADORE I ADORE!!! And I loved that while this was their conditions of a Punk tour, we still got to hear older songs like Still Feel and Creature live too. (I would have died if they didn't perform creature I swear and it was the last song of the night and I just felt so happy hearing my fav song ever live. It was such a special moment)

And then my gosh if you've seen like the clips they've shared of the performances like nah man. They don't hold up to actually being there. The dancers were flippen INSANE!!!! Like just yessssssss! They absolutely slayed and it looked like they were having so much fun! It was awesome!!!!!

Oh and at one stage of the night (cause in perfect aussie fashion) we did our usual chant of Aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi and it was so funny seeing their faces cause they had no idea what was going on lol. I loved it.

Now if you follow half alive you'll also notice in their posts that none of them were wearing any shoes that night and you're probably wondering why. Answer: The theatre just said no with the dancers having any shoes cause the stage was carpeted. Do I understand this? Nope. But it happened lol. So we got socked feet all night.

Now of course I also got merch :3 And this is where that stamp thingy comes into play cause like at the start, being up stairs a guy came and called us and said: Who wants merch and then ushered us all down to get merch lol. I skipped such a long line I felt a lil bad but like: I got here early and I was lucky lol. So now I have a very expensive tshirt, but I love it lol. Did I take a pic of it? NOPE! I forgot lol but I can always share it later <3

I'm pretty sure a whole lot of other stuff also happened but this post is already pretty long lol. Overall you can tell I had an amazing time and I highly recommend to anyone to go see your fav bands live if you can cause it is such a special experience and you won't regret it. Being able to see Half Alive is easily one of my top fav experiences of all time so yes. I had a great time <3

[acrosstobear]

I feel you've moved away from Mick slightly in the last few weeks. I also thought your comment about Laila being on a free trip to Japan was a bit cutting. Obviously they both want to spend time with one another. Lsila also has her own money and has acquired quite an amount of money too. Maybe I'm wrong but you're normally one of the first to post or tag Mick

hi best bud!!! thank you for giving me an opportunity to chat a little about where i'm at in my head and in my heart and honestly in my life in general. so for the last two race weekends i have been on a tropical vacation literally 8000 km away from my home with my best buds 🥰 girls trip!!! and on previous vacations i've tried to keep the posting going but honestly this time around it just felt super difficult and i really needed to disconnect cause i've got a lot going on in my life rn (under a read more not to bore you all)

tl;dr is that i still absolutely adore Mick, but the uncertainty over where he's going to end up is really tough for me to be dealing with on top of everything else in my life. i'm working through it!!!! for the last 6 races, they are also generally WAY easier for me to keep up with for posting cause they are in my timezone :) so you will see me back on your dash posting rather than reblogging real soon!!!!

really appreciate your concern and love buddy <3

1) my mom is going through chemo for stage 4 cancer and while i was away, ended up in the hospital for a fractured vertebrae, which is super stressful cause its just me and my dad around to help her and they were worried it was possible that the cancer had spread to her bones and etc etc etc. all good in the end and they have her on a pain management plan while it heals and finally gets to the end of her chemo plan (she can't get any further treatment until chemo is done) but obv that's been weighing on me really really heavily. i did most of my grieving earlier this year and have honestly been handling it pretty well since then, though there are weeks more overwhelming than others, but yeah, it sucks very very much.

2) remember boy that i was seeing who got deported? we've been doing really well keeping in touch with calls and texts and even all through my vacation he was sending me good morning texts, little check ins throughout the day, etc. until near the end he found out that his company was no longer going to sponsor his visa 🫠 and full credit to him, he was super upfront about it right away and we agreed we would deal with it when i got back and well. i got back. and we agreed that until he can know that canada is actually a real possibility, its best if we end things here ☹️ so yeah basically got the "it's not you, it's me" from him but i do agree that if he doesnt plan to be in canada im not doing short term long distance if there isn't going to be an end in sight.

3) there is soooooo much uncertainty surrounding both Mick & Callum right now and where they're going to be next year and that has been majorly stressing me out if i'm honest. like i had to totally disassociate from the whole social media fiasco Callum got pulled into cause im sincerely so worried we won't see him on the grid next year, that would actually possibly kill me. and similarly, Mick is being rumoured for WEC seats and the F1 door is closing and like. i can't do WEC. it's not that i don't love it, but i've been there for Callum and had a tough enough time just being able to find a place to watch them, nevermind that 8h-24h races are just not sustainable for me unless i drop another sport that i love. and quite honestly, i don't love that Mick has made most of his public persona his relationship right now. when was the last time he posted about racing? i LOVE a hard launch, it truly brought him back into the mainstream in terms of conversation, but then he didn't really capitalize on it to even do a throwback or even a post himself about Mick's Kart Race that DVB organized or a fucking training post. i totally understand where you're coming from in that they want to spend their time together as much as possible and like, alright go to japan amazing!!!! i just wish that we were SEEING more than her. momentum in this kind of job market is so easily influenced by perception, and right now my perception of Mick is that he has a girlfriend and no job prospects. ALL THAT TO SAY. i adore Mickolas. that will never ever change. i want to support him wherever he ends up. i've been there for Callum and done it before and i will absolutely do it again for Mick.

4) balancing having a life and work and friends and love, which was new for me, is fucking hard to do if you also want to post and write and edit and gif and watch racing. i'm having a tough time figuring it out. i've been grieving over the last month quite honestly, cause i love this community and i adore what i've built here and i still LOVE racing and sharing that love and passion with you guys. it's just really hard to figure out how to do without sacrificing things that mean more / have a higher priority in my life right now. but i'm missing it!!!!!!!!! so much. i wanna get back to gif'ing and posting and writing, truly.

[tskumoyuuma]

during last period the teacher who helps run english club suddenly asked me if every week i could find 2 articles about america and american events n create worksheets about the articles so we could go over one in every english club meeting. n my immediate thought was "the students wont want to do this and neither do i really want to make them on top of my actual job" (since english club is just me volunteering my time after work to do fun activites in english w students). but cause i cant say no i went to work, but w the little time i had since english club was today after school, i could only think "uh ok article about the solar eclipse" but finding a simple english article about it that my students could understand is. so difficult. n i was already busy today doing actual teacher shit so the best i could manage was cut down an article explaining what a solar eclipse is n how to safely view it, plus adding word translations n barfing out three true or false questions on a worksheet. so english club happens, n its the first time all the new first years came, n everyone is just staring blankly not understanding anything. so the other teacher has to explain a Lot in japanese n then at the end basically says to the students "todays article was very difficult but maybe future articles will be easier n have pictures to help" n like. maybe if u had given me time id have been able to rewrite the article myself w easier english and included pictures, but i barely had time to even write a few translations at the bottom of the page. even w the video i very very quickly found showing the eclipse, i could feel the disappointment from the students as they were leaving cause we advertised english club as a club where we have fun w enlgish, which is mostly what happened last year! but this teacher did this last year, where she keeps trying to making enlgish club into another little classroom instead of a club. last year she said every club meeting should start w someone making a speech in english n then everyone should make a comment or ask a question. but as soon as she got too busy to check in w the club we v quickly abandoned that n i took over to have them do more fun things, like games n stuff. and now i keep flipping between being angry that this teacher would give me such little time to do something like this causing the students to not understand, and being so sad n worried that some students will stop coming to club if thats what they think itll be the whole year. i want english club to be fun, i want them to enjoy learning english, cause they have enough studying during actual class. n im worried that cause this teacher is now a first year teacher instead of a third year teacher, she'll have more time to keep controlling english club in this way and even the second years will start dropping out.

[koqabear]

hello hello WHERE HAS THAT ALIEN SOOBIN TENTACLE PORN FIC ALL MY LIFE???????

as a fiend for all things terrestrial and lover of monster fucking i just lost my mind over how mind numbingly good that was

and i mean all of it, like the world building is on top and how i love the power dynamics when mc got into the kingdom, and am i deranged for thinking the scene w mc tied down to a chair was so hot?

oh imma get into soobin like HSJKDODJSJWI ur descriptions on his alien physique and powers was so so good like the image i have of him in my mind is killing me, if i have the skill to draw i'd fill up a whole book w him

AND THE SMUT GODDAMN!!!!!! how mc didn't moan when soobin choked her is beyond me but omfg that got me all fucked up i was starting to feel like im in heat too 😭

like im banging my head on the wall how u manage to build up all the tension from mc being level headed and leader-like to her throwing herself on tyun and hyuka and then still trying to brat out soobin to ultimately get her mind broke.

ALSO THE FACT THEY WATCHED AAAA im making myself ctfu cuz i kept imagining them in their minds w mini spongebobs panicking and burning files while trying to not make eye contact 💀

love how soobin also slowly got softer like he's this tall almighty couldn't-look-into-his-eyes intimidating being back at the palace and now he's a cuddly smug lil shit w mc just cuz they mated 🥹

which btw im also curious as to how he's able to form a bond by injecting his blood (?) into her, which is completely fine by me if u wanna leave that up for Interpretation! im just so interested in this universe, like bullets don't affect soobin? his species instilling fear after mc figured out what he is? could soobin just kill the mc and sever the bond or could he not? like how good of a pussy do u need to have to tame this beast?

u don't have to answer all that im getting obsessed w this fic and the world and i need to stop this is getting so long im sorry 🥲

anw i love ur writing and ur one of my fav writers, that was such a good good read and it's definitely my top favorites now, honestly every fic u put out has impeccable background and again i adore how u write relationships and dynamics so naturally and deep and the whole experience is just so immersive

k ending this here before i add another 10 paragraphs... 🚶‍♀️

hahaha thank you!!! this sudden resurgence of interest for what the body wants was completely unexpected but wholeheartedly welcomed! this fic was the first lengthy, detailed one that i published on here, so it’s such a compliment to hear that you enjoyed it ! <3 and omg, you’re making him wanna draw him now… pause… i think i will after this. 

i honestly was a little worried that both the mc’s and soobin’s change was too sudden 😭 i still feel like i could’ve executed it better, maybe? or maybe i’m just overthinking things, idk. but seriously, that smut was genuinely one of the most insane one i’ve ever written?? i didn’t realize that i’d forever be cementing soobin to a life of nonhuman!aus after that— sorry soobin i simply do not make the rules. 

i answer your questions under the cut!! i also go overboard with it aksbsksn

-[blood bonds? how tf does that work?]

ok. so! in the universe that WTBW is set in, Soobin’s species (that i am too lazy to go check the name of) are seen as absolute indestructible units by both other aliens/monsters and humans. Why is that? Because of their blood! it’s used as a weapon against other nonhumans because it’s toxic and deadly— thus, the reputation of the lilac blood gave the creatures the image of being insanely dangerous. 

as a matter of fact, there are operation sites that breed and harness blood from Soobin’s species because it’s such a sought after (and illegal. insanely illegal.) weapon! and that’s the reason why humans— more specifically, the mc and her crew— are so terrified of the Hexen species, (yes i did look up the name just now.) and more importantly, their blood— because it’s known to be used as a lethal weapon. 

Now, onto the main question; blood bonds, what the hell is up with that? lilac blood is lethal to every species but the one it came from— in other words, it doesn’t harm the hexen species. so, when they give each other / inject their blood into each other (i know, it sounds a little gross) it’s basically their way of bonding/mating— it represents them uniting and becoming one, and is a promise to remain together as long as they’re alive; yeah, they bond for life! 

-[do bullets affect soobin? how strong is he?]

long story short, yes— however, they don’t affect him as much as they would a normal human, or another nonhuman that isn’t as strong as his species. would they penetrate his skin? yes, but it would be a surface wound at most; his species has evolved to be extremely strong because they carry lilac blood and are able to receive it, so their body should be strong enough to handle it, and also, they have like six other limbs to attend to— it takes quite a bit of mental and physical strength to be able to develop and strengthen everything properly, if that makes sense.

could the mc’s crew have taken him down? yeah, a headshot is a headshot and soobin would’ve been a goner askdlh,, but his threats were enough to bring them to their senses bc yk.. he has tentacles that can move at the blink of an eye and he would’ve most likely taken one of them down before getting killed. he’s not invincible, but you do have to put a little extra effort in harming/killing him.

-[could soobin just kill the mc to break the bond?]

here’s the fun part hehe— so lilac blood, when used on humans, doesn’t kill them. Instead, it acts as an aphrodisiac. originally, lilac blood was only used as a weapon against non-humans; in other words, before space exploration evolved into what it is in that universe. Because of that, the hexen species didn’t evolve to combat against humans— which means the deadly aspect is taken away from the whole injection of it all. on soobin’s planet, everyone is already strictly against interacting with humans— the hatred doesn’t run as intense as other planets however, which is why soobin is so indifferent when he encounters the mc without her pin— so really, none of them knew what would happen if you injected your blood into them. 

soobin simply thought it would work as usual; what he didn’t account for, however, was the fact that humans don’t die from it— which means that they’re able to sustain it, and now… soobin’s body and mind thinks he’s just bonded with another of his kind!

as previously mentioned, the hexen species bonds for life— meaning that, if soobin tried to kill the mc, his body would go haywire and immediately think that his mate— his other half— is dead. a life without your mate can be seriously detrimental to both one’s physical and mental health, so soobin wouldn’t have lasted long without the mc; he would’ve been immediately weakened, and the crew would’ve taken that chance to take him down— if they somehow chose to keep him alive, he quickly would’ve died after anyway. (that’s dark sorry.)

ahhhh im so mad i never really included any of this in the original fic, but thank you so much for leaving me such a kind review and allowing me to ramble about this story!! i hope this answered your questions hehe, thank you again!  

[misspoetree]

Um... you were kinda right with the "sr in case anon didn't saw that" ^^; because yep, anon didn't saw that XD

But honestly, no worries about answering the ask late or so, please, no, just don't, even tumblr (and if not the app then the topics) can get exhausting over time, so please, take your breaks and recover a bit, even if I would never get an answer, it is completly fine, you are not obliged to answer it at all :D

But after you cast out the fishing line like this, I admit, I am a lazy carp, I bite.

CHOMP down on this hc's, because I literally just threw so much mismatched pieces at you (I really FORGOT about Tays business background, OF COURSE! It totally makes sense that Korn keeps him close because of business, I am dumb) but your genius idea about Korn getting a glimpse of Tays dangerous side... hooolyyyyyy... i am getting goosebumps!

(There is still an itch that wants to dig deeper into the whole net of Korns idea behind Tay and Time as friends for Kinn, like, is it just to keep business partners close? If so, how important is the business really, that Korn is willing to let an emotional bond like friendship grow between the boys and risk Kinn, our all-time-titts-out emotional dandy who is fucking starved of platonic affection, to hesitate, if things with the business of Tay or Time goes south? He either considers the business as that safe that it can never fail or loose its worth or Tays Family is that powerful that it wouldn't be good to have them as an enemy (Tay mafia heir incoming????) maybe it is completly different and he has more reasons for it... So much to unpack, I am getting my pool noodle right this moment and gear up for a deep dive)

But back to the important things, your reminder of ep 7, where Korns whole house of cards is swiped away by Tay, YES! One and a million, YES!

Ohhhhh, seeing Korn put business over everything else, that this is the reason for the whole friendship between Tay and Kinn, but then he needs more distance between them, but the more he tries, the more there is Tay with a machete gracefully hacking and slicing the net of lies apart- AHHHHHHHHH! You have a fantastic brain!

Btw, I am so happy that you liked the things my brain came up with, but I am even more in love with what you did with them.

Because Tay sways between the things he was forced to learn, the smiles, the way how he carries himself, the way he speaks and interacts with people, all this got build on the raw, unpolished knowledge that he has no choice but to master all those things if he wants to survive in this world.

He cuts the net Korn sets up, not to fight him head-on but to avoid getting caught in it as well. He simply survives. Inside the conference rooms, where words wield the power and outside in the bars, where a knife is loosely carried and a gun only a few seconds away.

(Again, how fucking exhausted must he be to perform in this two completly different scenarios, with clients and persons that are the exact opposite of each other and still manages to survive?)

Your, I will call it little scene because when I read it, it felt a 100%like it! Holy. Wow.

Oh hell, I need to recover, because you broke open my head and wrote that what I would never be able to convey in words, even if its just in an ask.

You have talent talent my dear, so please, if you start writing it, pin it up everywhere because I really want to read it

Tay being torn apart by his actions versus his heart and emotions is amazing and felt painfull good to read! And it kicks up my brain... I think unlike the other (traumatised™️) kids in the show, I don't think he is used to putting all his emotions aside... especially after I read your snippet, holy... I mean, with Kinn it is pretty obvious that he pushes his emotions aside and is done with it. But Tay?

Im mean, you already showed with your Ep7 reference that he is able to pull Kinn out of it. That doesn't sound like a man who is used to seeing his feelings as unworthy or useless.

I think Tay loves with a feral snarl and a gentle hug. He loves desperately and truly. He knows how to keep his friends safe, how to talk with them about feelings. He isn't someone who pushes everything away knowingly.

So maybe the time where all his training, his watching and analyzing turns into a blind "act", he looses control, he doesn't see himself as the person he knows anymore. And an overthinking, overanalyzing guy meets moral and emotional distress of his own making, ouuu... could turn out pretty dark for a hardworking brain like Tay's if you ask me...

And I am curious because you beautifully crafted the moment, where Tay's whole angelic act comes crumbling to the ground. That moment, when he flees and runs away from his own actions, when he's desperate and broken and so, so vulnurable...

I am curious to see, if there's something that catches Tay when he falls, or if he crashes and break his wings.

For now (I am open for discussion if I overlooked something again XD) I think that Tay... would be pretty lonely. Back then (I think of pre Porsche era) he had Kinn, who is forced to swallow down his emotions (best example, when Kinn listened to Tay and Time how he should smile and behave towards Porsche to show that he is ahem, interested. Aaaaand this brings me back to Tay being so used to putting up an act as soon as he goes outside that he even knows how to break it down for someone else and explain it. Because it is normal for him to know which impulse that he gives causes which reaction. It is engraved in his mind) so Tay is the one who helps Kinn out but on the other hand, it's going to be difficult for a guy with an emotional capacity like a rock like Kinn has, to be helpful in a full fledged breakdown.

And Time? Looking at him roughly, I see someone who has cheated on Tay many times, in this case breaking his trust and definitly the perspective of being someone to hold on to when shit is about to get real.

That brings me to the question, who would catch Tay? Who would take care for him, who or what would give him the place of peace and a break from the constant attention he has to maintain? How could not break under all this pressure?

Your whole part about Tay and his feelings, the moment where his instincts and heart collide and shows him the monster, holy. You nailed this!

Tay wants to love! He wants to have something real, something more than just a lingering thought of companionship or a blissful fantasy!

But he sees himself now, he sees under his own veil and realizes what he could do with that power and those abilitys.

He is so fucking scared and desperate and there's still no one in sight, no one to hold him, no one to catch him. He stares in his own abyss and he stumbles and he falls, he falls, he falls.

I mean, I could be wrong with a lot of this stuff, so I am kicking the ball back to you, what do you think would happen? ^.^

(Having the time of my life with getting into the Tay agenda rn XD)

Beloved Anon, you’re evil (affectionate). ❤

You dropped that into my asks while I was at work, and I genuinely lost my mind for like half an hour. I’m glad nobody came into my office because they would have seen me acting insane. Stading by the window, wrapped in a scarf, staring out into the thunderstorm, vibrating, talking to myself. (Having the time of my life, honestly.) 😂😂

And you’re really sweet and hilarious by the way, thank you. <3

Uhhhhhh, your itch with Korn’s idea behind the friendship with Tay and Time got me itching, too. I DO think that Tay’s family really is that influential. Time says that he crushed his car in the old area of Tay’s father, and “he cleared it off. The whole thing went silent.” There’s more than money necessary to make something like that happen, in my opinion. So yeah, being on good terms with those families is probably a smart business decision. (Random side note: Tay mafia heir is also an incredible sexy concept, OMG. Honestly, why has there been so little Tay action in the fandom?! The possibilities!!! 😭😍)

But you’re right, nevertheless. Ther’s never just one side to Korn’s actions, always playing 4D chess against everyone. And it is risky to allow “our all-time-tits out emotional dandy who is fucking starved of platonic affection” (that description made me laugh so fucking hard, oh my God 🤣🤣) to have this kind of emotional bonds, sure. But: wouldn’t the opposite be even more risky? To put Kinn in complete social isolation and still expect him to be a somewhat functional human being, NO, to be the heir of the family, able to differentiate between friend and foe?

I mean, look at all three brothers and their social life: Tankhun’s “friends” are his bodyguards, paid to be there (dying on that hill that Pol was only hired to keep Tankhun company btw 😌), paid to do what he wants, to obey, to die for him if necessary – not seen as independent, free-thinking human beings at all. (I’m not saying that Tankhun doesn’t love his bodyguards but that still doesn’t change the situation.) And Kim, well, he has completely isolated himself until he decides to pull Chay into his very own net of manipulation and we all know how well that went for Kim, being utterly starved of affection - only ending up tangled in a trap of his own making.

My point is: isn’t Kinn the most socially functioning of all of them because he’s the only one that has real friends? Friends that keep him in check and tell him when he’s being fucking stupid? That are not paid or lovers or part of the family?

And even though I think that Korn doesn’t really get the concept of friendship outside of business, he’s smart enough to see that they are…necessary. That it’s better for his children to have them than not. Well, at least until he comes to the conclusion that one of those friendships might not be worth the trouble…if you catch my drift. 👀

You keep saying such incredible nice things to me (not me reacting like a dog that’s been called “Good girl”, wagging my imaginary tail. 😭 I’m so weak, it’s embarrassing. 🙈🙈🙈) but I also really love your thoughts and the way you phrase things, it’s brilliant! 🙌🏻🙌🏻

I mean, ahhhh, you spelled it out so beautifully, the way Tay isn’t a man “who is used to seeing his feelings as unworthy or useless”. (But a man who might tend to put the feelings of others over his own, to shift the focus from him to others. A man who is used to deal with his feelings on his own. A man who might not push everything away knowingly, but some things just happen to…slip through.)

And your paragraphs about Tay’s actions turning into a blind act, an “overthinking, overanalysing guy meet(ing) moral and emotional distress of his own making” and TAY EXPLAINING HIS OWN ACT TO KINN - *gently shakes you by the shoulders* - ahhhhhhhh, yesssss, exactly, you get it!!!! 😭😭😭

“He is so fucking scared and desperate and there’s still no one in sight, no one to hold him, no one to catch him. He stares in his own abyss and he stumbles and he falls, he falls, he falls,” – AHHHH ANON I’M GOING INSANE AGAIN!!!!

I’m so sorry that I have so little to add to the second part of your ask except for “!!!!!” and *static noise* but I’m actually maybe under circumstances writing a little something. 👀 I’m rusty af and it will probably take months because I’m a really slow writer and I have so little time and who knows if it even will be any good …but I’m still so fucking excited?! So, thank you again for putting the idea into my head and to my Tay HC people who started all of this. 😭🙏🏻

And well, I don’t want to give too much away at this point, but the fic I’m writing plays relatively soon after the thing with Tawan happens, so Kinn is definitely no help with any form of breakdown…or any emotional thing at all. But just like you said, I don’t think that Kinn is very helpful on a good day either. He’s just not a person you would go to…to lay your heart bare.

And well…Time. Good old Time. His infidelity is actually one of the catalysators of my story, getting Tay into this situation he was trying to avoid because he knew (through instinct, paranoia, “training”) that things would end up going south. So, he’s also not a candidate to catch Tay at the moment. If he ever is. But…that doesn’t mean I don’t have plans for him. 👀

I don’t think that there’s any person to catch him, to hold him, to take care of him, actually. Not at that moment, not in the way he needs to, anyway. But I think there’s a person to ground him. A person to make him see things from a different (not necessarily better, but different) perspective. A person who digs out truths with reckless abandon, who isn’t deflected by kicks and screams and a bloody mess but encouraged. A different kind of beast.

I want Tay to go to Vegas. As crazy as it sounds. (And that only works based on my “There's...'something' between Tay and Vegas, some kind of understanding” headcanon, I guess. )

So...wow. This answer somewhat escalated and I hope you’re not disappointed with it, Anon. 😅 (Btw, no need to be shy, my DMs are always open ❤…even though I don’t answer them any quicker, I'm sorry. 🙈)  

[iraliira]

Life update

22/08/23

This past week has been better because my life is starting to fall back into place. Although its going slowly, its comforting to know that im doing better both mentally and physically.

This week i managed to prove to myself that im capable of fufilling my own promises to myself and im becoming better at self discipline. And the more i do it, the more i feel confident about myself. Real confidence. Because before i had fake confidence and by fake i mean i made myself believe i was confident but in reality i was lying to myself so that i dont have to face my own miserable reality.

Here are the things that im doing:

1. I began to workout, its been difficult at first and im not doing it concistently but its a start and i am trying my best. So far i managed to complete a whole workout which was a great accomplishment and i was proud of myself.

2. I decided to practice fasting. Im following a pattern where i eat for 12 hours and fast for 36 hours. I am following this pattern in order to get my measurements down to about 34-23/22-35. And so far i managed to complete a 36 hour fast and whilst i was fasting i realised that i dont get hungry easily and its just that i eat out of boredom.

Fasting has a lot of benefits and this is a short-term diet since i am not fat and just out of shape and during my 12 hour eating pattern i can eat anything i want. I DON’T HAVE AN EATING DISORDER and im also fasting for the other benefits such as: autophagy, cognitive performance and other amazing benefits. And i have fasted before so i know what im doing. If you want to learn more watch this video.

3. I decided to read a book a week. For a number of reasons: i want to spend less time on social media, i want to increase my knowledge, i want to widen my vocabulary, i want to speak properly because even though english is my first language, i cant speak because i keep tripping over my words and mid sentance my brain goes blank.

Other things that ive been doing:

im watching my comfort show One Tree Hill and im soo close to finishing the show which is making me sad because i dont want to finish it. The show is my absolute favourite thing in the entire world. The characters in the show are relatable in a lot of ways and this show taught me that being a teenager can be confusing but its also fun because im learning and going through a lot of change

Also the cast are soo fine

I mean…

Lucas scott (chad micheal murray) is soo fine

Anyways, back in June, i did my GCSES which if you don’t know is some standerdised exam every 15-16 year old does in the uk, and i get my results this week Thursday. And im not nervous about the actual exam results, im more worried about meeting everyone at school again and seeing my “friends” again. Which im planning on cutting them off and im really really scared about it because i hate confrontation. But im going to do it for myself and i dont want to live a lie anymore. Its exhausting. So im going to say to them that i dont want to be friends with them anymore.

I personaly am sick and tired of letting other people around me dictating my life and controlling the type of person i should be because thats my job. All my life ive been trying to please everyone and not myself. I also am a shy person (according to literally everyone around me) but i believe that im not and im sick of being “quiet” and “introverted” like i cant even set boundries or stand up for myself. WHICH IS SOOO PATHETIC. So that has to change because this type of behavior prevents me from achieving many things in my life.

And im not a little girl anymore and my parents arent always going to be with me so i need to grow up and act grown. I really hope i change and i believe that i can because this summer i went abroad for vacation and i spoke a lot of people so i can.

I really need to believe that im not who i used to be and if i want to have my desired futrure, i need to act like my desired self.

Well thats all i’ve been doing so far and im starting to like this new version of me.

Thank you, ira