#ill take ss if i have to lmao

[reluctanttrabbit]

they're matching :3

[avocado62524]

[enstarsrefs]

sorry for the radio silence! decided to take a small break after catching up on feature and event scout outfits to prepare myself for the semester (also since im just doing events as they come on en i havent really had anything for the queue lmao) some outfits that ill be posting soon: -ryuseitai ninja clan -undead trip -pulsing spring nagisa -ritsu fs2 -koikoi tori -white new year rise -red/white team ss outfits i also have a bunch of misc outfits that people have submitted that are in the backlog i just havent gotten around to them but. hopefully soon good luck to everyone playing ss on en and switch climax on jp!

[underratedandoverit]

You Wanna Wish Away Your Sins (2/3)

After losing to Best Friends at Arcade Anarchy, Kip undergoes shoulder surgery. One person reaching out to him afterwards sends Kip spiraling, turning all the pain and suffering in him into… Flowers? Flowers growing in his lungs?

Kip Sabian/Chuck Taylor. Hanahaki disease. Angst. Hurt/comfort. Emotional hurt/comfort. One-sided attraction. Also tagged this from now on with manipulative Kip.

Marked Mature on AO3 for general content. Warnings for mentions of hospitals, surgery, medical stuff. Described feelings for choking and vomiting.

Other characters on-screen include Penelope Ford. Rest of Best Friends are mentioned. Background ship of Penelope/Kris is heavily implied, but never specifically shown.

part 1 || part 3

On AO3

I really didn't mean to write this for a month but hey mental illness be damned lmao. This is more of a setup for the final act than anything else, I hope it's not super repetitive, I tried to minimize things during editing.

Also this chapter is 7,1k words long I am SO sorry.

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate @ss-trashboat

---------------------------

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes Kip walked into the living room, not being even slightly surprised to see Penelope already standing there. He hadn’t woken up when she had arrived and Penelope didn’t announce her arrival very loudly, which was just fine with him. She had acted more or less as his caretaker since he was discharged from the hospital, both of them knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to take care of himself entirely on his own. Which became very obvious very fast after the first night when Kip had called her in pain after the painkillers had worn off.

“Good morning.”

Penelope perked up a little, eyes shooting over her shoulder towards him, clearly a little surprised as she hadn’t heard him walk into the room. She offered him a smile though. “Morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Better,” Kip shrugged, walking past her towards the kitchen. “It still fucking hurts though.”

“Of course it does,” Penelope stated, leaving the items she was shuffling through on the coffee table, walking after him into the kitchen. “You were literally cut up and sewn back together barely a week ago. It’s not going to pass that fast.”

Kip just nodded absentmindedly, grabbing a cup from the sink before walking over to the coffee maker. Penelope had arranged everything ready for him, learning from the mornings before that food was somehow the first thing in Kip’s mind when he rolled out of bed. He was very grateful for all the work she did for him, knowing that he would most likely barely actually get out of bed if it wasn’t for Penelope to make the early recovery days even somewhat bearable.

After pouring himself a cup of coffee Kip took a seat on one of the stools by the kitchen island, watching as Penelope sat on another seat from across him after sliding a plateful of breakfast items in front of him, observing the Brit as Kip took a sip of his coffee, nodding his head a little as if to give his approval of the quality of it. He averted Penelope’s eyes, her look almost a bit too expecting for him, almost as if she was waiting for him to strike a conversation with her that he didn’t want to have right there and then.

Instead Kip coughed a little, feeling the by now way too familiar scratching in his throat.

Oh god, not now.

“You’ve been coughing so much lately,” Penelope muttered, watching as Kip tried to hide his mouth behind his hand as he hastily set the coffee cup down, having maybe finally learned that he couldn’t use the other to cover his face anymore. Without Penelope noticing – he was fairly sure she didn’t, she would have without a doubt said something – Kip managed to get the few petals out of his lungs, hiding them in his hand before he returned to his coffee, drinking it down in hopes that it would help with the burning in his throat. “Ever since you got back from the hospital. You better not be sick with something.”

“It’s fine,” Kip assured her, his voice hoarse as he cleared his throat a little, still feeling something stuck in there. Penelope just shook her head at him, pushing herself up from her seat, preparing to get back into cleaning the living room like she had been.

“Just make sure I don’t catch it. I have no time to be sick.”

Kip watched as she walked away, letting out a quiet sigh as he glanced at the few purple tinted rose petals in his hand.

“Yeah, I’m sure you won’t be catching this.”

It had been a week, and Kip still didn’t have a solid explanation to any of this. He had tried his absolute best to work it out after the initial freak out in the hospital, but so far there were no answers. When he had coughed the petals up the first time, the nurse that came to his aid after hearing his horrified screams in the hospital room was convinced that the petals were just dropped from the freshly brought set of roses that sat on the nightstand next to the bed and Kip in his tired, painkiller amplified state just didn’t notice neither the flowers nor the petals before. She didn’t take him seriously, only gave him some sedatives to put him in a sleepless slumber so he would stop freaking out.

Ever since then Kip hadn’t told anyone about the petals. Most of the time he managed to keep the coughing to a minimum around other people, like he did around Penelope just now, keeping the petals down in his throat or in the worst case scenario hidden in his mouth until he was alone to get rid of them. The coughing fits came and went, mostly at random and he had little to no control over them, their timing or the intensity, always starting with scratching in his throat until it became unbearable, making it hard to breath, ending with Kip coughing out at least a handful of purple tinted rose petals.

He had thought about telling Penelope about it, but without having close to no idea himself why all this was happening, Kip had decided against it. Penelope was the levelheaded one out of the two of them and she put up with a lot of Kip’s nonsense already, but this might have been above even her understanding. And if Kip couldn’t explain it to even himself, well…

He wasn’t going to risk it with Penelope.

Finishing his plate while pondering through all of this before getting up to get more coffee, Kip poured the petals from his hand into the trash, sighing a little. He had tried researching the phenomena he was experiencing to the best of his ability, but every source he could find was either fictional or made little to no sense to him while he was reading it. The only connecting thread he could find in all of this was the few sets of words that seemed to come up in everything he found, no matter how grounded in reality it was.

Unrequited love.

Flowers growing in his lungs.

Be loved, get surgery… Or die.

Chewing on his lower lip, Kip sat back down to the stool he had stood up from, sipping on a fresh cup of coffee as he dwelt in his thoughts. He wasn’t really sure what it all meant, but he sure had noticed that as time passed with him coughing the petals, it seemed like the throat scratching got worse over time and he had a harder time catching proper amounts of air into his lungs. At first Kip had just put it down as the fault of the medication, but the more he looked into this whole thing, it seemed like this was definitely a lot worse than just medication messing with his body or the short time he had been in bed rest already messing him up physically.

There was something else, as another coughing fit reminded him of, making a few petals drop onto the counter of the kitchen island. Kip stared at them for a moment, slowly wiping them to the floor. Watching them gently float down until they were out of his view Kip sighed.

How did something so beautiful make him hurt so much on the inside? And maybe even more importantly, why?

“…Are you even listening?”

Kip’s eyes shot up, meeting Penelope’s gaze as she leaned against the door frame at the kitchen entrance, arms crossed over her chest. By her reaction Kip was thinking she hadn’t actually seen the petals still, but he had been too deep in his own thoughts the past few moments to notice her talking to him from the living room.

Kip shook his head slowly. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Penelope sighed, but her features clearly softened as he finally replied to her. “I was just asking if you needed me around today for anything. Or if it’s okay if I leave.”

Kip sipped his coffee, eyeing Penelope for a moment. She had done so much for him that he never asked for, just because they were friends and she lived close by, and was one of the people he trusted the most, knowing their shared background and the work they’d done together and everything. Penelope had been the first person Kip had called when he heard his shoulder required surgery, she was the one that made sure he got in and out of the hospital with this whole ordeal, and now she was here, caring for him when he had asked for none of it.

He finally shook his head again. “I think I can handle myself for a day. I don’t feel worse than before today.”

“Which reminds me,” Penelope spoke up, walking back into the living room for a moment. Kip raised a brow at her as she re-emerged into the kitchen, but his face twisted into a little smile as he watched Penelope slide his pillbox across the kitchen island towards him. “Your meds. Remember to take them.”

Lowering the coffee cup from his hand Kip pulled the pillbox closer, struggling a little to open the correct container with one hand, eventually managing it on his own. He could feel Penelope’s eyes burning holes to the top of his head as she watched him wrestle with the small box, but it was obvious that she wasn’t going to step in before Kip asked her to. She knew he was slowly learning to do things like this on his own, and that she just needed to give him time with them.

“What would I do without you,” Kip sighed with a smile tucking in the corner of his lips as he finally observed the pill he managed to free from its plastic prison, popping it into his mouth, drinking it down with the coffee he had at hand. Penelope just rolled her eyes at him a little, but couldn’t help but to smile. “Well, today you have to figure it out. I’m heading out with Kris.”

Kip nodded, hand reaching for the pillbox again as he snapped the lid of the container shut, handing it back to Penelope. She knew where to store it and how to fill it better than he did, though Kip would eventually have to learn that as well.

“Shopping trip with the girls?”

Penelope grabbed the pillbox from him, Kip being sure he saw a soft blush crossing her cheeks as she giggled a little. “More like A Date with The Girl.”

Her enthusiasm was so obvious with the emphasis she put on her words that Kip couldn’t help but to smile at her, watching Penelope twirl a coil of her hair around her finger as she proceeded to leave the kitchen again to handle her business with the pillbox. His happiness for her was short lived unfortunately, as Kip could feel the by now way too familiar scratching on his throat again all of a sudden, only this time even stronger than at any point this morning so far. It almost felt like something was trying to make its way forcefully out of him, like sharp nails scraping against the walls of his lungs, ripping them to pieces.

And then the doorbell rang.

Penelope quickly showed back up to the doorway, Kip trying to hide the sudden struggle to breathe as she beamed at him, obviously very happy about her upcoming day.

“That’s probably Kris. I’ll see you later, text me if you need anything, I can stop by when I’m heading back home.”

Kip just nodded back at her with a small thumbs up, trying to keep on a false smile as he tried to hold the coughs back. He watched Penelope leave the doorway, disappearing from his view again, and as soon as she did, Kip sprung up on his feet, almost throwing himself to the sink as a wave of petals forcefully made its way out of him through his mouth. Gasping for air between a few small waves of rose petals exiting him, he leaned against the kitchen sink, barely keeping himself up on his feet, feeling like the air had been completely punched out of him.

Wiping a shaky hand over his face, Kip tried to take a deep breath as he closed his eyes, the burning worse than it had been since the first time he had vomited the petals out that night in the hospital. He could feel the sweat on his forehead and tears stinging in the corners of his eyes, reminding himself much of the worst hangovers of some of his younger years. And yet, somehow, this was nothing like that and far worse than anything he had ever experienced at the same time.

“Kip?”

He slowly straightened up, holding himself up against the sink with one hand, turning around to lean back against it. Opening his eyes Kip looked across the room back at Penelope, the worry and confusion clearly written on her face, though Kip was definitely quick to reflect that same emotion back at her, having thought that she had already left.

“Are, are you okay?”

Kip just waved his hand a little, offering her a weak smile. It probably wasn’t very convincing, but it was the best he could do at the moment, to give her a small amount of peace of mind if nothing else.

“I… I don’t think the painkillers are still sitting very well with me today.” He inhaled deeply, finally getting some air into his lungs that didn’t burn, surprisingly enough considering how different the situation had just been mere seconds ago. “But I thought you left.”

“Well, yeah, Kris is outside.” Kip’s eyes narrowed a little, brows furrowing in confusion. “But, uh, there is… Someone here to see you.”

Before Kip could ask, Penelope stepped a bit deeper into the kitchen, leaving the doorway open for a brief moment before another figure stepped through it. Upon seeing the man enter the kitchen, his kitchen in his house, Kip could feel something tightening in his chest as his fingers grasped onto the edge of the sink behind him just a little bit tighter. No, this time it certainly wasn’t his lungs filling up with rose petals to the point of nearly bursting out of him.

This ache was coming straight from his heart upon seeing the slightly awkward Chuck Taylor standing just a few feet away from him.

Kip didn’t register his greeting, only saw Chuck slightly wave his hand at him. Kip’s eyes shot over to Penelope, clearly begging for help as he wasn’t sure at all how to handle the situation that had suddenly evolved around him, which she thankfully understood as she walked up to him, Kip mentally letting out a sigh of relief watching her walk around the kitchen island to the side where she couldn’t possibly see the content in the kitchen sink. The last thing he wanted to do right now was to explain to her why he had gotten sick with odd colored rose petals.

“What is he doing here?” Kip whispered, eyes darting between Penelope and Chuck, despite knowing how awfully clear it made it in this situation that the other man in the room was the topic of their secretive conversation. Chuck just avoided eye contact, almost pretending that he wasn’t there as the two blonds continued their whispering, just looking around the kitchen walls as if he found them extremely interesting.

“Kris drove him here. He said he wanted to see you, insisted even. Talked about some apology or something.”

Kip’s brain was reeling, putting the pieces together slowly. He hadn’t heard anything back from Chuck since he had gotten back from the hospital and replied to the other man’s initial message, having just been left on read. Kip honestly hadn’t expected anything more out of that offer, just assuming in the moment of Chuck hearing that he was going into surgery and holding himself responsible for it, he crumbled and sent the message.

This was the last thing Kip would have expected him to do, and even less so Chuck being the one doing it, especially without Kip asking for that help he was offering.

“Do you want me to chase him out?”

Kip’s widened eyes finally landed back onto Penelope, it dawning on him that he never actually told her that Chuck had reached out to him about the surgery. Maybe it was given, considering how Kip had ended up there and how basically everyone had messaged him about it around that time, so it wouldn’t be as odd to think that Chuck did it too.

Maybe Kip was the only one making it odd and awkward by thinking that it was.

Especially as in the moment he also realized that he never told Penelope that he might have real feelings for Chuck, either.

“Kip?” He blinked at her, but didn’t respond. “I really gotta go, Kris is waiting outside. Just a word and I’ll drag him out with me.”

Kip slowly shook his head, his mind still spinning as he was trying to put the whole situation together. He wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, to keep Chuck at arms reach like this especially if they were going to be alone with just the two of them, but at the same time something was telling Kip that he needed to do this. For the sake of his own sanity, if nothing else.

For the sake of… Whatever this thing was that was wrong with him, as he couldn’t shake off the feeling that all of this was related somehow. And this was as good of an opportunity as any, at least in his mind right then, to try to get at least a little bit closer to some answers. And Chuck himself, for that matter.

“It’s… It’s fine,” Kip finally spoke up, eyes traveling from Penelope to Chuck, who still tried to look interested in anything else in the kitchen than the two of them. A small smile tucked the corner of Kip’s lips, Penelope without a doubt noticing it too as she remained silent, but her eyes surrounded by the perfectly done makeup narrowed slightly. “I’ll see what he wants. I think I can handle it.”

“…Are you sure?” Kip turned back towards her, seeing a real flash of worry in Penelope’s eyes. “After what happened and he… You know.”

Kip watched Penelope motion towards his arm hanging on the sling, the girl biting her lip a little as she was trying to be careful about choosing her next words correctly. “After all of this, are you sure you want to be alone with him?”

He wanted to laugh, but held the sound back, just smiling at Penelope a little, hoping it would melt off at least some of her concerns. They were valid points, Kip admitted that, even if Penelope already knew that what had happened to Kip wasn’t Chuck’s fault in the slightest.

“It’s Chuck Taylor. He wouldn’t hurt an already injured man. It’s all good.”

Penelope clearly wasn’t still entirely convinced of this, but she knew better than to stall the inevitable and continue to debate this with Kip, so instead she just gave a little pat on his healthy arm, offering him a smile. “Just… If he tries anything or you need help, just let me know, okay? I’ll –”

“It’s okay. You go enjoy the day with Kris. Don’t worry about me.”

She honestly wanted to fight him on it, but the smile Kip returned to her made Penelope drop the topic. With a sigh she turned on her heels, eyes landing on Chuck as she approached him on her way out of the kitchen, nudging him closer by tucking the sleeve of his shirt, whispering something to him that Kip couldn’t hear. He could have sworn he saw a quick flash of almost fear in Chuck’s eyes though, making it fairly obvious what sort of words Penelope was giving to him. Chuck just nodded before Penelope let him go, the blonde sending Kip a quick look and a nod before she exited the kitchen, leaving the two men awkwardly standing there as Chuck slowly looked at Kip from across the kitchen island as they both could hear the front door of the house being closed.

“Uh… Hi?”

Chuck waved an awkward hand at him again, Kip forcing a small smile on his lips as he shook his head a little. He honestly felt a little bad for lying to Penelope, as he had no actual idea what it would be like when they were left alone together with just the two of them with Chuck, Kip just assumed that the other man was as well-behaved as he had convinced to himself that Chuck was. After all, there was never an actual intention to hurt Kip, the way things had happened was just an unfortunate coincidence.

“Would you like some coffee?” Kip tried to offer him a smile, motioning towards the coffee maker on the counter next to him with his free hand. Chuck glanced over at it, nodding his head a little, though he was clearly hesitant. Kip returned the gesture, turning on his heels to reach for a coffee cup on the dish drying rack next to the sink before walking over to the coffee maker. Only then it seemed to click in Chuck’s mind that he was basically asking a one armed man for some awkward hospitality, even if it was in his own house, making him quickly round the kitchen island to the coffee maker.

“I got it, I got it,” Kip just smiled at him, Chuck stopping next to him to observe as Kip poured coffee into the cup, easily sliding the coffee pot back into its original place afterwards. “Just because I’m one arm short doesn’t mean I’m completely incapable.”

“I-I know, I was just--”

“Don’t worry about it.” Kip shook his head, trying to keep the smile on his face despite the awkward feel of the moment. He couldn’t get on Chuck’s nerves now, Kip had to remind himself that Chuck was just here to help. To apologize. He was here to make peace, and Kip didn’t need to treat him like the villain of this story that he definitely even wasn’t.

Pushing the thoughts aside from his mind, Kip reached over to the kitchen island, picking the coffee cup he used before into his hand, finishing the coffee in it before pouring himself a new cup. At this point it was more of a formality to keep his hands occupied and hopefully to make Chuck feel a little less awkward than he would be if he was the only one around enjoying a drink, than Kip actually needing another cup of caffeine to get him started on the day.

With Kip taking the charge, he led the two of them out of the kitchen and into the living room, motioning Chuck to take a seat on the couch. Kip wasn’t sure how long he had planned this visit to last, as Penelope had only mentioned that Chuck was here to present him with an apology of some sort. Kip already had a pretty good idea what he was about, the texts he had received from Chuck on the day of his surgery were permanently burned into his mind, and they hadn’t talked about it since Kip had sent him an acknowledging response a day later.

“So how are things?”

Kip looked at Chuck, shrugging a little as he sipped on his coffee.

“You don’t look terrible,” Chuck continued before the silence could linger around them for longer, making anything he said sound desperate and more awkward than it already was. “I mean. For someone who had surgery only like a week ago. Sorry.”

Kip shook his head with a soft chuckle. “Don’t worry, that’s still nicer than anything Penelope has told me all week.”

Chuck hummed a little in response before focusing more on his coffee, but Kip was certain he could see a little smile twitching in the corner of his lips before they disappeared behind the cup. Which was a relief to him, knowing that at least his little quip was funny enough to ease some of the clear tension in the living room. He was getting a good grade in being a good host today.

“Speaking of Penelope.” Kip raised a brow at the sudden direction the conversation was taking, him having not expected it, especially being told earlier what Chuck was here for. “She spends a lot of time here these days, huh?”

Kip’s eyes narrowed a little, him not really liking the tone that such a question was presented to him with, as usually people asking about the relationship between him and Penelope thought there was something more than genuine friendship going on there. Kip would have thought especially Chuck would know better than to ask such questions, him being friends with Kris and all who could have easily told him the true nature of things.

Besides, Kip absolutely did not want Chuck to have the wrong idea about the things that were going on with him and Penelope.

“She’s the one friend that lives close enough to help me out, with, you know, all of this.” Kip motioned at his arm hanging on the sling, watching Chuck nod back to him. “…And you do know she’s dating Kris, right? You’re friends with her, if someone should know, it should be you.”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Chuck muttered, taking another sip of his coffee. “Just… Looking out for her, you know?”

Kip was really hoping that wasn’t actually all Chuck was trying to achieve with that line of questioning, but he remained quiet, both men just focusing on their coffee as the silence finally fell into the living room. Probably with anyone else Kip would have found the silence comfortable, but with Chuck around like this all of a sudden, with minimal explanation on what he was actually doing here after everything, it was just making Kip a bit uneasy. He wasn’t going to push the issue at least immediately, in hopes that he wouldn’t annoy Chuck too much.

Kip finally had some alone time with him. He hadn’t seen Chuck in person for a week and a half, and before that they didn’t spend time together outside of a few rare occasions when they were somewhere with a group of other people. And now he was here, sitting on his couch, drinking his coffee out of one of his coffee mugs, observing his decor in his living room. It was more than Kip had ever asked for, more than he had ever hoped for, and quite honestly with how things had been going the past week, it was something Kip desperately needed.

Having Chuck Taylor in such a close proximity as this was the chance Kip needed in hopes of trying to make all of this right. To make all of this make sense.

“But really though,” Chuck’s voice finally broke the silence again after a moment, almost startling Kip out of his thoughts. “How are you doing? It can’t be easy to deal with everything with one arm.”

“No, not really. Especially when it’s your non-dominant arm.”

Chuck winced a little at the mere thought, Kip just carefully shrugging one shoulder. “Yeah, it sucks, but what can you do. It could be worse, I could have no arms.”

“That would really be the worst case possible, huh?”

Kip chuckled at him, humming a little as he sipped on his coffee again. This seemed to be going well now, at least by his standards. Being able to just joke around like this with someone other than Penelope despite his current condition was refreshing, usually Kip had to deal with people wanting to talk about this topic more seriously than he did. Sure, it was a rather serious situation, he wouldn’t have required surgery otherwise, but that didn’t mean he needed to be all grave and gloom about it at all times. And at least Chuck was throwing that mentality back at him even a little bit, which Kip just found kind of nice.

“I’d imagine you get bored easily, dealing with all of this. Not really being able to do anything and all.”

“Sometimes,” Kip muttered, eyes almost on instinct landing on the tv remote on the coffee table. “Especially if I don’t have any company. You can’t really play games or something with just one hand, so I just end up watching a lot of things. I can’t tell you the amount of shows I’ve binged in the past week alone compared to maybe the rest of my entire life.”

Chuck nodded, silently pondering over his words, Kip picking it up as a sign to continue. “You just kind of realize how used you are to having two functional arms and how much easier even simple household activities are. Cooking is so much easier when you can lift a pot full of water with both hands. Showering feels incredible when you don’t have to be extra careful about your cuts and stitches. Being awake without having to take painkillers, let alone sleeping through the entire night without waking up to excruciating pain… You know what I mean.”

“Yeah…” Chuck’s voice drifted off, Kip stealing a curious glance towards him. Chuck was staring at the bottom of his coffee cup, clearly contemplating on something, and Kip was slightly worried about being able to decipher a look of distress on his face. Kip almost wanted to ask him about it, but thought better of it, not wanting to derail this relatively relaxed conversation to whatever else was in Chuck’s mind. Unfortunately for him, Chuck had other thoughts, as he slowly shook his head, inhaling sharply, Kip’s eyes shooting towards him almost a little bit too quickly.

“Listen, I…” His voice was quiet, Chuck stopping to think again for a moment, not bearing to look back at Kip who he most definitely felt staring at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I never meant to hurt you like that. I’m so sorry about everything that happened.”

His words registered pretty fast, but it still took a moment in Kip’s mind to connect everything together. Biting his lip his eyes shot away from the other man, mentally beating himself up for whatever he said that brought up this topic so suddenly. Kip had wanted to avoid talking about this for as long as possible, of course the moment Penelope had said that Chuck wanted to apologize for something Kip knew this was eventually going to be talked about, but they were having such a nice time just moments before. They were just having a regular conversation, a thing that they rarely ever did together, and it all just felt so nice at least to Kip.

Most importantly right now though, Kip needed to tell him the truth. Chuck still clearly lived with the belief that he had caused all of this, that Kip’s injury was his fault and that it all happened because of the bump he had initiated, even if it was under mutual understanding and agreement. Kip hadn’t talked about it with him so far, having avoided saying anything about it, in texts or in person, kind of just hoping that it wasn’t being brought up. When Chuck had said in the initial text messages that he was sorry, Kip had honestly thought that that was it, especially since they didn’t talk about it after that in the past week at all. Well, they hadn’t talked at all in the past few days to be honest, but that had just solidified it in Kip’s mind that this conversation was over before it even happened to begin with.

Unfortunately for him, he was wrong about it. And now Kip needed to deal with it, and probably face the consequences of not telling Chuck the truth immediately, having left him to live with the regret of causing this much pain and suffering to Kip up until this point. All he needed was to tell Chuck the truth, to be honest about it, to just say it wasn’t his fault. That’s all Kip needed to do.

“It’s…”

Tell him the truth.

“It’s fine. Accidents happen.”

Fuck.

Chuck nodded, somehow looking even more discouraged than he did before. Kip knew exactly why, but he couldn’t bring himself to correct his words.

The only thought in his mind was that if he told Chuck the truth, he would just walk away from him. Just like how he had left Kip on read for a week after reaching out to him when Kip had told him that surgery went well and everything was okay, Kip was afraid that Chuck would leave him now if he knew this wasn’t actually his fault.

It was just a little white lie, and if it was giving Kip a chance to spend time with Chuck, to maybe fix this entire thing, it was worth it all to him.

Almost on cue at the thought, Kip felt a familiar scratching in his throat. Almost as if it was mocking him, making fun of Kip for not being able to tell Chuck what was really going on. The shame gnawing on him on the inside, Kip tried his best to push the feeling aside, letting out a quiet cough, hoping it would help with the growing burning in his lungs.

“It could have happened to anyone. It’s the risk we take.”

Chuck didn’t reply back to him, but he was in deep thought, processing Kip’s words. Kip tried to hold himself back from explaining any further, not wanting to make things sound any worse than they probably already were in Chuck’s mind, him thinking that all this really was his fault. It could lead into something in this scenario that Kip didn’t want, expose his lies or drag him down deeper than he wanted to go with this whole thing, at least for the time being. Maybe eventually he was ready to tell Chuck the truth, if it even mattered at that point anymore.

The honest truth right now was that the less Chuck knew, the better chances Kip had at keeping him close by. And the closer Chuck was to him, the easier it was for Kip to try to decipher this riddle he was living with that included rose petals coming out of his lungs every now and then, but especially when Kip was thinking about the man sitting next to him on the couch just a little bit too long.

He coughed again, watching from the corner of his eye as Chuck shot a quick look that almost resembled worry towards him.

“I’m fine,” Kip smiled a little at him, coughing again. It was getting worse, he could feel it, so Kip quickly pushed himself up on his feet. He could never quite predict when or how forcefully the petals would be pushing out of him, so the sooner he got out of sight before it happened, the better. “I’m just going to get some water. Do you need anything from the kitchen?”

Chuck shook his head slowly, watching as Kip spun around on his heels, making his hurried exit from the living room and into the kitchen. He was barely able to make it back to the sink as he coughed again, loudly and almost violently as the purple tinted petals he was so used to by now appeared again, landing to the bottom of the kitchen sink where the previous pile was still waiting to be cleaned up. Kip tried to keep the noises down, not wanting to draw attention to himself and his condition, knowing how difficult it would be to explain. He struggled with it himself, he had not told Penelope about it, Chuck was the last person Kip wanted to know anything. Especially if this was all caused by him, indirectly or not, as Kip had thought all this occurred.

Kip straightened himself up against the sink, glancing over his shoulder towards the doorway, being quietly thankful that he found it empty. He was worried that Chuck would follow him, especially after the wretched noises Kip was making, just to check on him, but apparently he wasn’t loud enough. That, or Chuck just didn’t care about them, which was a thought Kip immediately pushed away as he could feel it causing more burning in his throat, not wanting to deal with another wave of petals.

He ran the faucet, waiting for the water to turn cold, watching as the flowing water grabbed some of the petals from the sink to play around with. Kip found it odd that every time they got out of him, the petals were almost in near perfect condition – he had never seen one that was torn up, they were almost all identical and symmetrical to one another as far as he had compared, and every time they were almost like freshly plucked straight from a flower. Kip never threw up anything else when the petals exited his body, it was almost like they came from a completely different source than anything else a normal human being would be throwing up.

And as they swirled around in the sink while Kip reached his coffee cup underneath the running water, he thought that in all this time he had never seen one wither away no matter how much time passed. He still had some in the trash from earlier in the week and they still looked exactly the same, hell he kept one petal to examine it later from the first night he threw them up in the hospital, and it remained unchanged since then.

Pulling the coffee cup back to himself, now filled with water, Kip took a sip from it, feeling it make him feel slightly better. The back of his throat was still burning, he could feel the scratching somewhere in his chest, but after ejecting some of the petals again the feeling was milder than before. That’s how it always went, Kip had learned that much. It was one of the two things he could count on, the other one being that somehow whenever his mind wandered off to Chuck, these things started to happen. He understood the connection from what he had been able to discover about this condition, but it still baffled Kip that this could happen in the first place.

Finishing the cup of water Kip poured himself another one, returning to the living room. Before he could get there though, he stopped in the doorway, hearing Chuck talking to someone. Staying out of sight on the side of the kitchen, Kip peeped into the living room carefully, hoping Chuck wasn’t able to see him, spotting the brunet still sitting on the couch, now with his phone pressed against his ear.

“Yeah man, I think I have to stay here for a while.”

Kip’s brows furrowed but he remained silent, his heart doing an extra lap as he realized Chuck’s words. Him? Stay? Here?

“Listen, I don’t really like it either, but… I kinda did promise him that if he needed something, I would be there, since… You know.”

Kip leaned against the door frame, pulling his head back into the kitchen, just sipping on his water and listening. Chuck was right, he had promised that after all. Kip hadn’t said anything about needing help or company today, but apparently Chuck had decided that he needed it. Which Kip was thankful for, more ways than he could express or actually say out loud, honestly.

“Just for today. Look-- Trent, let me finish. I’m just gonna keep him company today, okay? We can do stuff tomorrow. I promise.”

Kip nodded to himself, pushing himself off from the door frame before he inhaled deeply, walking back into the living room as if nothing had happened and he hadn’t heard anything just now. He just smiled at Chuck, who quickly got off the phone as the Brit arrived back, taking a seat on the couch. Kip sipped on his water, not wanting to directly jump into asking Chuck about the call to expose himself as a filthy eavesdropper, but at the same time Kip didn’t really know where to take the conversation from here.

“So uh.” Kip glanced at Chuck, watching the man just shrug a little as his hand reached for the remote on the coffee table, Kip raising a questioning brow at him. “Would you like to… I dunno, hang out or something? Since Penelope isn’t here, so you don’t get bored or whatever.”

Kip took another sip of his water, almost pretending to ponder over the question for a while as Chuck turned the television on without waiting for his answer, surfing through the channels to try to find something interesting enough for both of them to busy themselves with. Of course Kip wanted him around, it had been the only thing he had been thinking about since Chuck showed up unannounced earlier. He was the key to all of this after all, and even if he wasn’t, Kip would be lying if he said that he didn’t want this chance to be around Chuck today. Or any chance that ever presented itself for them to hang out, really.

“Since you’re already here, why not.” Kip kicked himself mentally for trying to sound almost too nonchalant about it. The last thing he needed was to give Chuck the wrong idea about how much he actually wanted him to be there. He had to find the perfect balance, just enough to make sure Chuck knew Kip wanted him, but also that Chuck didn’t know that Kip wanted him. He needed to make that connection, but not ruin it with his over enthusiasm so he wouldn’t preemptively ruin it all. “I also have some games I think you might be interested in.”

Chuck nodded, watching Kip lower the coffee cup from his hand before motioning towards the tv stand and the cabinets underneath it to emphasize his point. As Chuck stood from the couch to check out the selection Kip spoke about, the Brit allowed himself to sink into his own thoughts for a brief moment, trying to convince himself that this was a good idea.

This was what he needed. This was the breakthrough he had been looking for. Chuck Taylor was right there, within his grasp, and all Kip needed to do from this point forward was to make sure that Chuck fell madly in love with him.

[yume-fanfare]

about your ibatori post—there’s a home screen interaction between tori and wataru(i think) where tori mentions that someone from cospro gave him a piece of candy and said “let’s get along, salute~”, obviously the salute implies that ‘someone’ is ibara. so that might’ve been their ACTUAL first meeting, depending on how canon you consider homescreen lines. but of course cradle of turbulence was the first time they had a proper conversation…i’d really like to see them talk more, i’d especially like to see akira’s take on their rlship

YESSS i know!!! and there are follow up interactions too hsdjhfgjks

(unsure if that fourth one is related, but thought it was worth adding!)

warning you before you get to the rest of the ask i have thought about this at length so. information that may not be of interest to most people

because although funny, it's an odd line to me bcs if we're being realistic, it's imposible for tori to not recognize ibara given hes. a really important guy you know, cospro's deputy director and part of eden who were in the ss and that tori's admired hiyori-sama is part of. and in cradle of turbulence he indeed recognizes him perfectly and refers to him as saegusa senpai like it's not a big deal. so i guess they had somewhat met before offscreen 🤔 gotta wait for rainbow translation and see if there's anything there

and i find it suuuuch an interesting interaction too ! ill read too much into it because i can. it's macarons, so ibara most likely knows tori has a sweet tooth. not something too hard to find out about given they have many contractions, but it's one of those moments where ibara's penchant for collecting information "for evil purposes" comes across as a sweet gesture hskjflsjdkfhs picking a gift he'd like. but i also like how nonchalant tori is about it gajskdhfslds he did learn to not accept food from strangers. and it Is a pretty weird thing to do. i wonder if he really did it just to piss off yuzuru lmao but he's not the type to actively look for conflict so idk, he def knew it was not a way to actually get tori's favor either. i once in fact read it as a post cradle of turbulence interaction, like some odd way of saying "i like you" but yeah, it doesn't quite track with the "someone"

AND YEAHHH AKIRA WITJ THEM i need that so bad. adding this to the mental "tori finds out about the military facility" ideal event. it's precisely because there is such a heavy link between them that cradle of turbulence is a perfect first one-on-one interaction. a situation where ibara has to protect someone he has many reasons to dislike, because tori is a cute and lovely child that almost inadvertantly has that kind of effect on you ("his loveliness is a centripetal force // the people around him won't let him be sad"* and so on). by seeing tori in a vulnerable position it makes it more unlikely that he'll later do something that could be bad for tori.................. and at the same time it's so telling how casual tori is about ibara, as he just makes simple small talk like there's nothing to be awkward about, because to him there isn't.................. much to think about. i really want to see how akira makes ibara grapple with tori as a person and everything he signifies. a cute child, partly responsible of many terrible experiences ibara has had, yuzuru would kill ibara if he ever laid a finger on him, hiyori sees him as a small version of himself somewhat, eichi's successor of sorts... jimenyan's best friend, even. there is so much there. i kind of really want him to be the one to tell tori about the military facility. there is Something there that has potential idk. maybe put yuzuru in some sort of danger and have tori be more in charge or something mhmmm.....

[mihai-florescu]

word count anon back to say thanks for taking the time to find that post, that's exactly the one i was thinking of!! and holy shit that's a lot of words. i wouldn't be surprised if it's more like 6 million now since almost 3 years have passed

TRUE we have had hefty stories since like obbligato, the entire ss arc, 1.5, all the climaxes and more... yeah you might be completely right actually. 6 million words...insane. somehow in my mind that post wasnt thaaaat old... until now when i realised i wasnt even into enstars yet when that wordcount *was* made in may 2021. Lmao. If u need anything else anytime ill try my best to find it (^_^)7

[kyogre-blue]

OK, onto SS choice and the timeskip!

Due to when they let you save, I've actually played into the very start of the war phase, so I'll just say it here. I was kind of disappointed by how limp-wristed the whole Edelgard situation is? I expected some more "join me and we shall rule Fodlan" kind of thing, but Edelgard is very neutral and almost disinterested about it. Oh, you're not joining her? Oh well.

The Byleth relationship with Claude is rather detached because he has so little stakes in Fodlan and keeps hiding his actual background and motives for so long, but like the tradeoff is that they have no actual beef or conflict and just cooperate well. I kind of thought Edelgard would be more emotionally charged in some way and she... isn't really? Post timeskip, they go through the motions of starting a sword fight, but then just kinda... stop and... part ways... Not sure if Edelgard's rather under-played delivery is part of the issue. I'm not saying her voice actress is bad, but she doesn't really sell the character imo.

Anyway, I am as ever unimpressed by Edelgard.

Live blogging notes:

Edelgard going to Enbarr to be crowned is a secret.

Man, her dad looks very ill. The implication of her dialogue is that it's because of the "burden of the throne" but eeeeeh

Normally, the archbishop should act as a witness to the ceremony, though iirc the original JP script just had "bishop"...?

"By the covenant between the red blood and the white sword"

Man... Both Hubert in their support and Ionius IX here frame it as Edelgard being "stolen away to the Kingdom" but like, no, her mom took her there? And from what I understand, Edelgard was perfectly fine there. The real issue was when Thales posing as Arundel brought her back. But it seems that Edelgard doesn't actually remember that stuff, so are they purposefully lying to her?

It seems like Ionius IX saw his children experimented on. Edelgard mentions seeing him clench his fists until they bled.

Edelgard's first act: putting Duke Aegir in his place and basically imprisoning him in the palace (?)

Ionius IX and Edelgard both keep referring to how the fate of Fodlan is in her hands now, which is kind of lol given that she's technically only taking over one of three countries in Fodlan.

Oh, interesting. In GD (and I believe BL), you fight the Flame Emperor in the Tomb and then break their mask, revealing Edelgard. But here, Edelgard walks in as herself from the beginning and willingly reveals her identity.

Her wehehe evil henchguy states clearly that they're here to take the Crest Stones, and also the bones. Oh boy!

It's interesting that Edelgard can't just order her classmates to stand down. She's their Emperor, so by disobeying her, they're functionally all traitors. In general, I'm surprised we do battle with her initially and only choose whether to side with her after being ordered to kill her directly.

Despite what I kind of expected, Edelgard never really tries to recruit you and isn't at all surprised that you stand against her. Ngl, I expected a "join me and we can rule the galaxy together" pitch. Kinda disappointed...

Yeah, all the BE kids are like "so what if she's the Emperor, we're just gonna do our own thing" but without actually confronting what they're doing. (Update: Hubert at least obliquely threatens Ferdinand if you attack him, with "you have people you care about in the empire, right? think about what'll happen to them if you stand with the Church")

Edelgard's big speech is like "Church wants to rule Fodlan!" and "Church split up the empire to make kingdom and alliance, all to set us against each other" which, I cannot emphasize enough, doesn't really come across as an issue when there's no major history of conflict between the nations. The only actual post-independence conflict was the Hrym-Ordelia business which barely gets mentioned and is also the Empire's own fault... The gold and extravagance thing is just nonsense too.

Oh, lmao. Seteth says that Edelgard "demanded her own father relinquish the throne" but like... I was at her coronation. They either got lazy copy-pasting dialogue from other routes or assumed you'd totes side with her if you saw that scene.

The tone Rhea and Seteth take in regard to the "progenitor god" is a bit weird because Rhea in particular fluctuates between clearly considering Sothis her mother and her loss as a very personal one, and speaking of Sothis as her goddess and a much more detached authority figure.

Ferdinand says that half of the six big noble families declared support for Edelgard. Hubert's dad was assassinated, Bernie's dad is under house arrest and his wife is siding with Edelgard in his stead, and Ferdie's dad his been stripped of his PM position, his rank, and his lands.

Huh, a bunch of the church units auto-recruited.

You can recruit Hilda here, though I don't have enough of... probably axe ranks.

Dimitri has mysteriously come to the conclusion that Edelgard is responsible for Duscur. The month before, his explore dialogue was about how he hasn't been sleeping.

Anyway, time to kill off some children. I want no one coming to the promise day.

It is unexpectedly hard. Normal mode is so easy you have to be trying to lose on purpose, and even then it's hard to do.

The battle starts with the enemy already within the walls (Outer Wall on the map location). The Church is holding out for reinforcements that come in through the left and right entrances, but they are first taken by Imperial forces (Death Knight on the left, Hubert on the right), which have to be cleared out.

There are "Onagers" (basically catapults) that archers can use to fire in the town and "Fire Orbs" that mages can use next to the monastery inner walls.

There are two Winged Demonic Beasts with the Imperial forces. They have creepy masks and hold "Pointy Art(ificial) Crest Stones" which are "artificial Crest Stones with a distorted shape, produced in the Empire." They have enormous wings that are even a barrier ability (lol) and are noted as being very swift.

Rhea's class is Archbishop, she's using the Sword of Seiros (which is also mentioned in the class description lol) and Seiros Shield (interesting point: halves monster damage). She's got A in sword, reason, faith, and leadership, B in fists, but nothing in axes or bows, and only a D in lances. Her abilities include Sacred Power (gives boost to allies and lowers damage taken) and Charm. Walking buff point, I see.

After we repel them, Edelgard sends in the reserve troops and signals Arundel (Thales). (He comes in with more Demonic Beasts and also attacks Byleth and Rhea with dark magic... in his real form lmao, wonder if anyone noticed how their commander changed out for another dude somewhere along the line.)

I saw this before, but why does Claude fight with a sword in cutscenes? Sword here and sword in the Fort Mercius scene against Nader too. Also, funny that he and Dimitri are hanging out together for some reason.

Note that Byleth swings and extends the Sword of the Creator with enough force to shatter a Demonic Beast's mask and bodily throw it off the Immaculate One. Like, dang... those things are big and heavy??

[kosalupp]

soooo ive been giving this "roleswap turned rewrite" some more thought

part one (?)

i think the first thing to fix would be the timeline ? ik Nintendo doesn't really care for it but they've established something with skyward sword that they can't really take back and trying to revamp the entire timeline (and foundation of Hyrule) when botw leans heavily on the whole blood of the goddess and spirit of the hero thing is plain stupid.

spoiler alert i haven't played/watched all the games which makes me inadequate in actually trying to fix the timeline lmao but i try my best

ik most people are miffed by the time travel/draconification because it took away a lot of the mythical and spiritual part of botw and I won't deny that. but im a whore for a good old causal loop so ill keep those elements in although it would be more interesting to replace the zonai era by post-ss era. on one side you've got a kingdom that has fallen to the calamity a hundred years ago trying to rebuild itself now that the threats of evil have been defeated and on the other side there are the hylians who descended from the sky into a land that hasn't been explored yet and have to make do with probably unfamiliar ressources. both would be stories of communities building and expanding their settlements to offer a better life for their people (less talk about royalty more about community the push to stick to traditions, ancient legends and hierarchy was one of the major issue encountered by link and zelda pre-calamity)

as for the ancient sheikas id assume 10,000 years before botw would still be taking place after all the other zelda games so after a convergence of the three timelines ? the fallen hero timeline ends with a pretty... dead Hyrule, no settlements afaik. the child timeline kept traditions and the royalty alive and in the adult timeline we know that Tetra and Link refounded Hyrule and found new continents, they made hyrule their own and technological advancements flourished. it wouldn't be far fetched to imagine the sheikah built upon those growing technologies.

after that we know the sheikahs endured genocide at the hands of Hyrule royalty, id like to think that because of this, Hyrule fell into a dark age, it would explain why so much was lost to recorded history after the first calamity.

to me all of this would make the timeline cleaner, we don't need hundreds of variations of Hyrule refounding itself but im not willing to touch upon what botw has established and moving it around the timeline probably wouldn't work.

this is the first time ive tried to put all those thoughts on paper lol it's still vague in my head and im not really eloquent sorry :')

[zartophski]

I’m thinking a lot of Sky thoughts today, so have some Sky questions

1. Favorite SS Link? (As in which AU)

2. WHY

3. Favorite SS Link design?

4. Favorite LU Sky fanfic?

SKY

1 lmao can I choose my own fhghdshk The skord link in my au is named Levs, and I just think he's neat

2 I'm realizing I never shared the picrew I made for Levs so here :D

Look at them!! Levs is a very kindhearted person who will always do everything she can to help the people she cares about. The name Levs is a made-up diminutive form of Levias, which the people of Skyloft started calling him after he freed Levias and the people became more aware of what was going on. It's essentially a nickname meaning "Little God" because he's become a protector of the skies just like Levias. Levs takes that role with honor, and while it's a little embarrassing at first, it grows on her, so when she meets some more heroes, she decides to continue using that nickname.

3 I really like Loft from bonus links. I like the way em fashioned the sailcloth on his design, and the formal wear design was very tasty and yeah, I just wanna give him a hug

4 The entirety of Sister's Built on Trust series. This was probably my first introduction to chronically ill Sky and I love the way sister portrays it.

SKY!! <3

[saviourkingslut]

idk if ur not doing the fe3h asks anymore but if u r #8 pls!

sorry for only getting back to you now anon ive had a couple mad busy days. but ill gladly take any excuse to give my opinion lmfao

8. what storyline threads should have had more development / been further explored?

the whole argarthan plotline is just. such a mess. on the one hand the game tells is that they're a major player in fódlan's history and current politics - they orchestrated the death of lambert, resulting in the duscur massacre and the destabilisation of faerghus, weakening it for future war; they ally themselves with edelgard, though they support her and work against her in turns; they're directly responsible for jeralt's death and for byleth becoming enlightened, etc. they can nuke whole-ass cities. and yet at the same time? they feel completely inconsequential. if they hadn't been there almost every action they undertake could be foisted upon the adrestian emperor in one way or another, or in case of byleth's enlightenment, forced through in some other way (it's a world with gods and magic, it wouldn't have been hard to figure something out).

white clouds makes Such an issue of their powers and involvement, they build up all the mystery around tomas and thales and their involvement with the flame emperor, and then in the war arc they deadass do fuck all and show up as a complete afterthought in the last few chapters on ss and vw (and i believe on am you straight up take out a bunch by circumstance on the final map and it's barely addressed lmao like they genuinely disappear from the narrative after the timeskip). all the attention goes out to the war with adrestia - which isn't bad, bc that is the main story the game is going with and which should be fully developed, but the argarthans just fit into it so awkwardly that i feel like the writers didn't really know how to combine the red emperor plot with the argarthan plot. especially bc their goals do not actually always align with edel/gard's, so you can't treat them as a wholly allied entity either.

i don't have any real ideas as to how their writing could've been improved on, exactly, but their potential is pretty wasted. i mean, the whole 'mole people who live in an underground city and want to kill the last angels remaining on earth' feels like a bit of a reach, but ive seen weirder things executed well enough in other media. im still particularly disappointed with the way nemesis is shown to be a larger than life figure, a literal killer of gods, he looks fucking insaneee in the intro cinematic, and then he shows up in one final map and it almost feels like a joke. zero build-up, doesn't feel like anything is truly on the line. that's the problem with the argarthans in general i feel. edel/gard's war at least makes me feel something, especially on am: the stakes feel real, she has to be stopped. the argarthans are just kind of. there. and the game tells me they're evil so i guess ill kill them but they feel like annoying pale magic clowns to me more than anything else lmfao

[canarymemories]

anon <33 asked: There is this scenario in my head where leo asks sena to bathe together and talk about issues like sena not finding a new job or leo drowning in work. And leo chooses talking in the shower bc he knows water makes sena more relaxed so its a huge stress relief for both and

it's so funny u say this bc i have a wip that's vaguely similar to this. or technically two. izuleo hivemind is real lmao but that's so cute like I can't word my thoughts properly abt it but I love that so much 🥺🥺 do tell me more

 the first wip I have is what I lovingly call ace izuleo (bc they are ace to me which is a conversation for not this reply fkdks) where the general premise is that izumi is out of the country for modeling for idk a few days, less than a week. (also meowzart is in this one but this isn't about her, sorry my little darling meow meow 😔) but anyway, izumi is in the bath and just relaxing for a moment and thinking about he's glad to be home even if he was gone for only a few days and then leo peeks his head in the bathroom and is like sena can i sit with you 🥺🥺 like just sit on the floor bc he's missed izumi and izumi is like yeah sure. then there's this really soft part that I'll ss and put in the replies once this makes it to twt and like,,, they're just so comfortable with each other and so domestic and they make me ill fkdksks then leo asks if he can get in w izumi who again says yes and like,,, fr they have so much potential to be just like. physically intimate like that and just enjoying each other's presence and holding each other and and and 

then the second one is more of just an idea I noted down and forgot about until recently but the two of them comforting each other when they have bad days, whatever that means. like just taking care of each other in what probably seems like little things (izumi brushing leo's hair, etc). idk I just think they do little things like that to look after each other, they've essentially promised to support one another and so that means we're both right 👍  [Smile or comment on the answer here](https://retrospring.net/@canarysmemories/a/111054856572431456)

[mestos]

anden is the funniest ffxiv character to me. i love him so fucking much im cackling

its been months since did his custom delivery questline but these have been singed into my head ever since

I DIDNT SS THEM BOTH DOING /SHOCK WHICH PISSES ME OFF BUT I DREW IT INSTEAD

oc ramblings undercut

honestly in my head i like to think that the First!Noi is literally so normal. a normal guy. he works in the Crystarium as part of the crystalline mean. and i actually had the idea of a blue quest where he's connected to the anden questline because my HC is that Anden and Noi were childhood friends LMAO

alongside my third OC, Viper. who is relatively normal in his ffxiv edition compared to how i use him in my oc rp groups LMAO

in my head the custom delivery quest connects to a follow up blue quest where Noi in the Crystarium asks the Warrior of Light about the rumours he's heard about Ilhl Mheg. He says he used to belong to a tribe further in the forest of Fanow, but for a brief time, he went to Voeburtite for a bit with his two childhood friends. They all picked out names—he chose Noi, because he liked the calm and quiet, where his friend chose Viper because he thought it was cool, but his last friend preferred to blend in and chose Anden.

"When the Light came in, I was worried for my siblings," Noi says. "I seperated myself from my friends and returned to my forest to ensure their safety." His voice is quiet. "Well, things went awry in the process, and I couldn't save them in the end. I followed the wave of refugees and eventually found myself a place here, under the Exarch's guidance. I'm happier, now, honestly, but in the quiet moments of the night I find myself wondering all too often what happened to the rest of my people." "Tales of your visits - especially your exploits in the former ruins of Voeburtite stroke a bit of a chord in me. What was it like there?"

The Warrior of Light tells him about their adventures directly, and Noi listens with keen interest.

"Wait. You said you have met Gillte— I mean, Anden? Truly? Gods, a miracle in itself... I'm sorry to impose, but would you mind taking me to him?"

They bring Noi to Anden's sheep shed where he has all his fairy friends and its like such a sweet reunion but also with some pixies almost threatening to turn Noi into a leaf man too im crying

"Wait, I recognize those highlights.... Could it be, Ukina? You survived!" Anden's ears perk up in astonishment. "You are the one who defied all odds here, Gilltett," he laughs, light and lilting. "Though it is very much like you to have managed to worm your way into every heart. You were always the sweetest one of us." "Ha, I assure you, it wasn't all that great," Anden scratches his cheek, no doubt recalling his times as a leafy green. "But I am glad to be back to the shape of a man. I can finally properly tend to the sheep as I should be." "Always the animals first with you, huh?" Noi chuckles, then turns to the Warrior of Light. "Thank you for reuniting me with my friend. I couldn't even dare hope to know that my family could have survived like this, but even if it's just my tribe brother, it is enough."

as a quest reward he gives high quality food. im crying

ITS MY HC that he is there afterwards and is in cutscenes whenever you turn in custom delivery quests. he visits anden often but for whatever reasons the pixies are scared of him HAHGSKGJHKSDHJG (they sense the freak nature that was roughly avoided here)

sometimes you see anden in the crystarium by the cafe having coffee with noi. and there's a third male viera there which is my other oc, viper! theyre hanging out.

Noi tells Anden that he's found a beloved, who is also a viera, and theyve both moved passed their old traditions in favour of staying together. they've gotten married so he can't go back and breed with the old tribe in fanow LMAOO and anden is like omg, that makes sense buddy. viper gets pissed off though and hes like IF NEITHER OF YOU WILL TAKE UP THE OFFER ILL GO MYSELF!!!!11!!1!1

he is absolutely skeletal when he gets back to the crystarium after which is so funny in my head. i will be drawing a comic about this

[jinlix]

[tinyidle]

Hey I wanted to ask if you can do more with ateez and piss kink 👉👈 oh and BTW I love your account

ATEEZ Having a P⚠️ss Kink as Doms (in Depth)

ive been getting lots of love for my mtl that i was even asked to do the piss kink fics with other groups! this ask in particular, however, caught my attention. trust me, after this fic ill get to the other asks. but since i made the mtl and my mind has manipulated my body to clench in my pee (tmi i know lol 💀) i just had to write this.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

WARNING: pure filth lmao (aka smut), title gives the description, bladder control, tw: fluid k*nk, mentions of drinking liquids (water + alcohol), mentions of *nal, sp*nk*ng, consensual force (rough s*x, as in reader gives permission to let atz use them harshly), light bdsm (always remember boundaries folks!), nicknaming (cuz im not a "y/n" writer lol), dom!ateez, sub!reader, fem!reader, light cursing, all fiction

tags: @eclipsehye , @rap1inewhore , @fyeah-bubblekey , @xduygu-arsx , @staytinyexe , @aigokayla , @glitteryskzstraykidsdream , @amultislifeforme

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Hongjoong

you wanted to pee so fucking bad. your boyfriend made you drink 1 liter of water in the past 2 hours and then made you sit and watch netflix while he himself was checking out samples for a new song piece, just for fun. but you had to go.

"joong, i can't take it anymore. i need to use the bathroom," you said, squirming on the couch and desperately clenching so that no water droplets could come out of your system.

the aforementioned man then turned around with a sly smirk. "ah, you need to go, baby?" he then lifted himself from his computer desk and went to the couch where you sat down. he then lifted you up a bit to bring you down on his lap. "then turn around and go on me."

you widened your eyes in both shock and pleasure. the sharp burn of arousal that hit your pelvis didn't help your already expanded bladder either. when hongjoong realized that you were too stunned to move, he encouraged you by grasping onto your hips and moving you forwards and backward. "come on, baby. you can do it," he encouraged with a smile on his face.

you swiveled around and then took it upon yourself to grind against your boyfriend, finding a sweet yet sinister feeling in knowing you'd leak any time soon. when you felt yourself leaking, you started whimpering, and despite your attempts to clench, the streams kept going. "fuck, joong. im leaking," you sobbed, grinding even harder until your arousal mixed with the piss you had that pooled on your boyfriend's sweatpants.

he caressed your back through all of this. "it's okay, baby. i got you." while you shook until you calmed down, he himself had also cum in his pants. which meant your guys' clothes will have to wash immediately, he'd have to find a better way to do this without much mess, and there would need to be a shower time afterward because you pissed a lot and he came a lot.

he tucked your hair behind you ear and talked to you softly. "when we get in the shower, how about you ride me as a reward for being so good?" your libido rose up again and you moaned a 'yes', much to hongjoong's liking.

Seonghwa

nothing made seonghwa feel better than pleasing his baby, even if he didn't enjoy it much. your satisfaction above his was his motto. he knew you wanted to try pissing for pleasure, but he wanted nothing less than cleanliness. although you respected that, he still wanted to please you. so today he was going to fulfill your desires his way.

"princess, would you like to take a shower together?" seonghwa asked when you guys were getting ready for bed. you, always loving intimacy with your boyfriend, accepted with a smile.

you guys were in the shower cuddling and showering when all of a sudden you felt your taller partner kiss your left shoulder. "can i give you a bit of an extra wash?" you, liking how this is going, agreed to let him do what he wanted. he kissed your left shoulder in a silent thanks before you felt warm streams.

it kept pooling until you felt both your feet get warm by the clear liquid. you gasped when you felt seonghwa's cock grow behind your ass, his crotch rubbing against your leg. "hwa-" you quietly moaned, feeling your arousal grow in your own crotch.

"if you don't mind, doll, i'd like to finish what i started." you never nodded so fast, knees buckling, ready to be pleasured to entirety.

Yunho

you acted up just to see how your boyfriend would punish you. never in a million years have you thought he'd used one of your most dirtiest kinks against you.

"yun, i can't take it anymore," you said, squirming while leaning over the island of the kitchen you guys were hanging out at. while attempting to cook, instead you were trying not to pee all over the floor.

"fucking hold it," the tall man growled, his back to you while finishing up on the rice for lunch. unfortunately, it's been over 20 minutes and you drank way too much water prior. you ended up having an accident right where you were standing.

yunho, hearing the sound of you leaking on the floor, smirked, turned around, instructed you to take off your clothes, and rubbed your clit until you couldn't piss anymore. "my tiny little baby really couldn't take it anymore, hmm." although you were whining, you've got to admit: you were loving every second of it.

Yeosang

one time you guys tried anal, and as fun as it was and as enjoyable as it felt for you both, the lube stains on the sheets were extensive. yeosang couldn't help himself as he's just a messy man. a beautiful man, but a messy one. the line crossed when he tried to make your squirt. you let out so much that he was wondering how long it would take for his bed to fully air out. no way is he going to try pissing. on purpose, that is.

you like to drink water before bed so that your bladder can wake you up in the morning. it was obvious that you drank too much alcohol that night because of your wooziness and your boyfriend's constant hold on to your body while you were wobbling to the bedroom. trying to help you out, he gave you water to help clear your head. apparently, you drank too much of that too.

yeosang was holding onto your side until he felt something warm. shit, he thought. you were too comfortable in your sleep that you forgot to go to the bathroom. luckily he has plastic over the bed from the last sex session. he woke up, and although your hangover didn't hurt that much, you groaned due to the mess you made.

"little doll forgot to pee in the toilet," he said teasing you a bit. he didn't expect you to be aroused by his simple rhetorical question, but you in fact were very turned on. you ended up whining, which yeosang's ears caught on to very quickly. he chuckled and kissed your forehead. "you like being my messy little doll, huh? maybe after i clean up this mess we can make even more mess in the bathroom."

San

this man knew you loved to watch him do things. you loved watching him dance, him singing, him acting, him modeling, even him just breathing. but san knew something only you and he knew: you were a voyeur. you loved when your boyfriend chased his own pleasure while you watched. you especially loved it when you could help him out.

"be a good girl and get me off, then ill return the favor." you quickly went on your knees, stroking him just the way he liked. at times you'd take his dick in your mouth to egg him on, but you knew san loved being teased in order for him to properly make a mess on your body.

soon enough san warned you about his release, and you took off your shirt and shorts, just leaving your panties on. you continued jacking him off until you saw small spurts of clear liquid come from his tip. you let his streams go down on your chest, covering your boobs and almost drowning your underwear.

the short-haired man smiled while looking at you, and you looked back at him. you were now going to get the favor returned.

Mingi

you guys were fucking for about an hour now. at first you guys used protection, but then your dumb brain told mingi afterward that he could go in bare because you were on the pill. some 3 more orgasms later, you guys were sensitive yet still very horny. no way was mingi pulling out now, and no way were you going to tell him to stop.

"fuck, honey im gonna pee soon," he said, still going at near-full speed on top of you. you were being lifted forwards a bit with every thrust, and you wanted to pee as well, but you still wanted him.

"let me go on top and ride you until you have to pull out," you said, almost breathless. mingi moaned at your request and moved from on top of you and sat you down on his throbbing cock. you started bouncing, your breasts in mingi's face. he happily took them and sucked on your nipples while licking around the areola area. he was very close, so he pressed onto your bladder and lightly rubbed clit simultaneously so you could get there. "fuck!" you yelled out.

your tall boyfriend quickly lifted you off his dick and pissed on the sheets underneath you too, while you were spazzing and leaking on top of him. "you did so well for me, honey."

Wooyoung

"woo, i need to go," you said while rocking back and forth on your heels.

"go where? baby, it's raining outside." you knew your boyfriend was playing with you since he knew where you want to go to the bathroom. yet here he was, acting stupidly oblivious.

"dammit, jung wooyoung, i need to pee! let me gooooooo~" you said, now full-on dancing. you saw as the cocky man started laughing at your comprising state. he loved fucking with you as much as fucking you. he left and came back with the sheet you knew all too well. he's gonna have fun with this.

wooyoung took off all his clothes then tugged on your tank top. "i told you not to drink too much water. now you're gonna use me as your bathroom." you've done this many times before ever since he found out you were into it, but every time you still blushed. "unless you don't want to go?"

you shook your head, face still hot by the embarrassment (that honestly shouldn't be there). you took your tank and bra off, before quickly sliding off your skirt and underwear before you leaked anything. humming in approval, the dancer lay himself down on the 'designated piss cloth' and held your waist as you went on top of him. leaning forward and holding onto your boyfriend's shoulders, you slowly started grinding onto him.

wooyoung tried to chase his own pleasure, so he gripped your hips and made you rub against his dick harder. your small gasps turned into huge ones, and soon enough (with the help of the cocky man's teasingly pressing his tip to your ass) made you pee hard.

he kissed your cheek and caressed your back while waiting for your shaking to cease. "such a dirty baby. you deserve a rest, yeah?" you mumbled a small 'yes', and your boyfriend kept holding onto you.

Jongho

you were told to hold in your bladder. usually, it's easy for you, but your strong boyfriend showed that you are weak-willed when around him. he was pressing on your stomach when you guys were watching tv, made sure to leave the door open when he went to the bathroom to shower, pee, and wash his hands.

you to your disdain were going to break when jongho saw that you gave him the silent treatment. "listen here, sweetie, just because you can't go to the bathroom doesn't mean you ignore me. come here." he caught you by your hip and tugged you to him. he effortlessly lifted you up over his shoulder from the living room area to the couch where the tv was.

"no jongho, no! i was so close to winning-"

"you should have thought about that before purposefully ignoring me all day." he was right, and you knew it. you in an attempt to win his challenge ended up disregarding him, being outright rude sometimes. well, your punishment was waiting for you now. he sat down on the couch, with you over his lap. he pulled your shorts and panties down in one go. he then gave your right cheek a light tap, making you jolt due to the gentle force. "count until i feel like you've learned your lesson."

you haven't even reached 10 yet and had leaked all over your boyfriend's trousers. jongho didn't care, however, as he loved seeing you moan from the pleasurable pain, as well as having an excuse to tap that cute ass of yours. it was more like a harsh smack for you, as you felt both cheeks getting hot. once the tenth spank occurred, you cried out. "10! please jjong i can't take it anymore"

jongho gave your ass a break and lifted you onto his pissed-soaked lap to hold onto you. you sobbed in pleasure that couldn't be explained. "shh, shh, sweetie. you've done well. ill run you a bath soon and we can cuddle later, okay?" wiping the tears from your eyes, you nodded.

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i wrote this while feeling sad about my current state, but when i finished writing this felt somewhat better (probably because writing is a comfort for me). hopefully you guys are feeling 10x better than me!

if you have any asks or suggestions, let me know! i can write for more groups, but more atz asks are okay.

[sneverussape]

snape fic recs - old magic/epic worldbuilding

related to this post. i decided to dig through my bookmarks and wrack my brain for some of the fics i remember reading that scratched this particular itch. this will have fics that had the characters practice old magic and are more focused on the adults/hogwarts staff rather than the kids, or if the kids would be mentioned they would not be the main povs. these will be multi-chaptered, often long (and obviously au), and some of them have pairings. please heed the tags and warnings that the individual authors would have left; what you consume is your own responsibility. the fics are also listed in no particular order:

In His Name by moira of the mountain -  After the Final Battle, a fallen Snape is hidden, bearing Tom Riddle's last Unforgivable. There are three Secret Keepers and a Muggle healer to protect him, but will it be love - or an obligation - which finally frees him?  - no pairings // kinda brotp between mcgonagall, snape, and hagrid // also unfinished so fair warning. the lore is so rich though, it feels like how magic in hp should have been.

Death’s Dominion by MMADfan - Severus Snape’s life was changed when he was hit by an errant spell, and he comes to a decision that defies Dumbledore’s wishes. Even the fate of the wizarding world is altered by this ill-cast curse and Snape’s subsequent resolve.Long after the spell has dissipated, its effects continue echoing in the lives of Severus, Albus, Minerva, and Hermione, and they bring with them a shadowy figure whom Snape does not trust and whose motivations and influence on Minerva are murky. Not all is as it seems, and conspiracies and schemes swirl around Severus as he continues on his path of deception to his final confrontation with the Dark Lord. A “Light” fic of love, loyalty, and redemption. - mm/ad, ss/hg // this fic. is LEGENDARY. this is one of those fics that require your full attention and will eventually suck you in and spit you back out with your whole life changed. it will take you on a whole rollercoaster of emotions. the mm/ad pairing is quite an obvious one but the ss/hg is a subtle one and it’s more friendship throughout the whole fic than an actual romantic relationship. the ocs (a lot of them minerva’s family) are also SO well-made you’ll forget they’re not canon. 

FALLING FURTHER IN by kaz2 - Hermione begins to learn something of the man behind the dark sarcasms of the classroom. - ss/hg, also features wolfstar, brotp between the faculty and severus // this was one of the fics i had in mind when i did that last post about missing old hp stories. this was started in the early 2000s and the author had free rein on a lot of the material. flitwick and sprout are married here and are the cutest things on earth. it’s also set during the summer leading into harry’s final year so all the teachers are staying at hogwarts and are all good friends with each other. hermione is there as well because her parents had been murdered by death eaters and so she’s spending it with them. the way the ww is written here is so...epic, jkr couldn’t even. snape lives in an invisible tower called serpens tower, the teachers often go to a brothel-which-isn’t-really-a-brothel in hogsmeade, the other teachers often baby severus subtly because he’s the youngest, wolfstar are tolerable and remus actually learns to brew his own damn wolfsbane, etc. the story is in story format until near the end iirc and then the author outlines what happens next rather than writing it out. i can’t blame them; it really is a massive undertaking.

The Crest by sheankalor -  Dumbledore only holds partial say in who the Head of House is. Severus Snape is nominated as the Head of Slytherin, but has to pass a final test. Can he? Does he work well with the other three Heads of House? And just what is The Crest? - no pairings // staff fic // one of the rare one-shots but it’s in an au which feeds into other stories // i loooove the lore in this. it provides an explanation as to how a house head is approved by the school and i’m a sucker for any fic that has the faculty getting along.

Balance by rabbit and -v-Jinx-v - Hogwarts is under siege, and it's going to take everyone to find a way out of danger. - no pairings // brotp minerva and severus, also harry and draco form a friendship // this is one of my personal faves. it’s not only old magics but the entirety of hogwarts come together to battle against dark forces (not even death eaters but...balrogs...and other things). there’s no build-up to it; you enter the story after the battle’s already begun and then you get taken along for the ride. also has a part where the heads of houses meet the founders and there’s this epic dance that’s reminiscent of the danse macabre in The Graveyard Book (if you’ve read that you’d know what i mean).

Another World by Aeryn Alexander - Detention with Snape turns into something of an adventure for Hermione and Ginny, not to mention Professor Lupin, as they all discover that Hogwarts holds a terrible secret that none of them want to learn. - ss/hg, rl/gw // this fic took me by surprise because i didn’t expect it to go the way it did based on the summary lmao. the 4 basically get trapped in a mirror version of hogwarts after a potions accident, and the mirror world has literal demons in it. they have to find a way to get back into the real world while not getting killed at the same time. i actually liked lupin in this one and he and severus form a tenuous friendship. 

In One Spirit by mavidian - Voldemort and Dumbledore prepare for war and survival. Plans go awry, intrigues abound and nothing is what it seems. Snape created the Dark Mark but that mistake may cost him everything. Can Hermione be his saving grace? - ss/hg but it’s such a slow build you barely notice it during even the first 20 or so chapters because he’s his usual asshole self and they’re too busy trying to protect hogwarts // the concept of this fic and the lore it built up...wow. the faculty are all friends and they’re trying very hard to protect hogwarts using their own magics and their own clever schemes (war brooms? battle wands? blessing tree? filch even gets powers!). voldemort is also equally devious here and snape has loving pureblood parents! (not that it matters, he’s still an ass, but then it’s nice to read about him having a nice family for once). neville also steps up as a member of one of the Traditional Families so he’s quite a BAMF here. 

yo pls feel free to add your own recs to this post, i’m pretty sure there are loads more out there!

[lovphobic]

Ooo let's hear about thalya! Love that name btw

oo an enabler. love u.

i will try to do this as linear as possible, but a lot of her story is sildraste's, and a lot of sildraste's is hers lmao. and of course all of this is subject to change due to me having her as a character with substance for like. 3 days max, while also filling in the roles ive already given her through sildraste

so she lives with her father in this settlement out in what would be the country. just outside of a city basically. she works as kinda an apprentice under her father, who is a jeweler. which is how the pendant comes into play eventually

when she isnt helping him though, she likes to be helpful to other people in the settlement. a healing hand. so right now i have her as an alchemist artificer (which is a lot to try and understand when youve never played and barely understand the game as is fjhsdjkf) which i feel plays well off of sildraste's class of ranger.

i want her to be this really kind and bubbly character. really em and sympathetic. she will cry when you cry. i want to play her off as naive but like, shes really not. belle from beauty and the beast. thats who i want you to think of. just with less focus on the books. just a joy to be around with no real enemies

which is how she and sildraste really come to hit it off together. sildraste wandered into the settlement on one of her journeys, stopped for supplies and food and a place to generally safely rest. and ended up staying.

im still not sure how i want this to come about, but i am dead set on this pendant somehow leading to sildraste "killing" her. so im going to skip over this bit of the story for right now. its cursed somehow and leads to thalya becoming a danger to the settlement, thats all you really need to know jfshfjk

but when sildraste looses and arrow that Shouldve been a killing shot, due to the general Weight of the situation. the anguish and disbelief and. well. every emotion you can expect to have when you have to kill the love of your life. due to all those emotions she misfires. it wounds her! and in her panic, sildraste Really Does Think thalya's dead. so she takes the pendant from her neck as something to remember her by, and flees. middle of the night leave her on the floor "dead" flees.

but of course in classic good ma/ss ef/fect 3 style heartstring tugging, soon as shes gone, thalya draws breath. not well enough to stand, or to call out. just enough to know she's still alive and needs help. WHICH! i think would be a good play on her artificer class to cast healing word on herself

im not sure again how i want her to come to the conclusion that pendant cursed > i was cursed, i was a threat to society > pendant gone > love of my life has it > the story is going to repeat on > i have to find her before its too late BUT thats the conclusion i want her to come to.

essentially i think itd be really cool for her to have to have this pleading showdown with sildraste right as shes on the brink of no return and in a jen/nifers bo/dy style just RIP the pendant off her neck

thats kinda her story right now! i dont have much else to say about it. but some fun things are: i figured out her birthday and sign today! she was born december 19 and is a sagittarius. after i post this and shower ill work on her alignment quiz and get around to posting THAT.

and here is her playlist, if you want to get a better Feel for her character. it kinda goes through her whole story on its own, just not in order per se LJFHDSJKFSA

LASTLY!! here is her picrew + face claim. i found the face claim on unsplash and. because of that i have no idea who this is. but thats my thalya! (peep the pendant)