#ill probably go for the usual
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Was looking for short haircut insp and found the closest to tsumugi's hair ive ever seen on a real life person
#well thats about my current hair length and it overstimulates me Badly so i need it aaaall gone#ill probably go for the usual#it only looks nice about a month or 2 after getting it but my god i hate taking care of hair
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And your dearest fantasy Is to grow a baby in me I could be a good mother And I wanna be your wife So I hold you to my knife And I steal your letter
Not a lot, just forever
#ill be honest i go back and forth on rhaenicent kids#for rhaenyra yes#for alicent i usually land somewhere between 'in a dream i saw my mother with the love of her life and no children#and it was the happiest id ever seen her'#and 'she'd probably want rhaenyra's kids'#but i saw that olivia cooke + wine + baby video on my tl again today#so#rhaenicent
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i'm sending this endless melody to a nameless you
#SKELETON ORCHESTRA AND LILIA I NEED YOU#project sekai#emunene#emu otori#nene kusanagi#pjsk#prsk#proseka#wxs cover wishlist copium.. 2!!#i have lots more of them i wanna draw but ill do st least one duet for each pair i think. maybe nnks next ive had one for them forever#Gyaaaa#Crying i have szks lunar new years art that idk how to render im missing the holiday. lord in heaven#Ik every leaker or whatever says this is going to mmj snd it probably will and i'll love the cover but still. emunene save me#wxs gets songs with nonsense lyrics its possible right Right right#i also wanted setsuna trip to go to emu in any duet but i looove the mnai cover so i won anways#Kind of too sleepy to do my usual. Sorry viewers who like reading theough my insane tags. Dont get covid it makes you sleep 13 hours a day#For the next month.#my friends saw me going nuts over this drawing actually and i gave up hard on nenes dress i just wanted to be done.. love how emus looks..#wait i actually can be insane in the tags THE WXS WORLDLINK SONG SJHDDYDJKYMY TGYAYDHUA!!! HAGSGYAAH!!!!! GY6;$;$;$;$;$ WHEHEHEHEHEH#WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH. Its so good please help. Wxs tetrad that illuminates the world save me.#why does the 2dmv have all of them under a WEDDING AROOOR WHY IS THERE A WEDDING BELL. CONGRATS ON POLYSHO MARRIAGE. HWATEVVRR!!!!!#wonderlands x showtime killing me taking damage augh Auughg akk akcghj
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im so Normal. totally not shaking and crying rn
#its nice to be this excited about something again! to the point of nausea!#and i Mean That#this is the good kinda stress. tis a welcome break from the usual brands#all week i've been having moments of 'ohhhh god New Information Incoming' and i have to sit down every time#and measure my breathing to chill tf out#is this unhealthy! maybe! i am trying to keep it Contained!! tightly leashed if you will#BUT OH FUCK ITS ALMOST HERE AGH AGH AGH#absolutely unprompted#welcome home#i will probably be unable to discover secrets bc i am bad with computers and the like#but hey! ill try!#if there's like... a spoiler tag yall want from me ill make sure to tag any Update Posts with it#then again wh is a unique scenario of like... Are there spoilers#bc it feels like a 'a couple people uncover stuff and then show/tell the rest' thing#but what would i know! this is kinda the first update!#LETS GO GAMERS I HOPE THE NEW STUFF IS TRAUMATIZING FOR BOTH US AND THE CHARACTERS#alright im getting to excited again im gonna go lay down#gonna be refreshing pages every ten seconds even when its completely illogical and meaningless to do so
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happy kiss day 💌
#duck scribbles#go for it mido#threw this together really quickly i dont usually do these kinda days but ive been drawing a bunch anyways so its fine#started listening to getsuyoubi no yuutsu again. if that wasnt obvious#maybe ill reblog some other art later hm#midoyuzu#enstars#yuzumido#will probably take a bit of a break for a week or so from here on out!!!!! ive drawn too much lately lmao#between graduation and packing/moving o7 girl help me ive barely prepared
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jamiazu / ashenviper week day 6: toxic yaoi overblot
SORRY it's very much a rushed mess especially in the lower half jdkslfjksd i was v busy today and trying to hurry to get something done for this before midnight [covers up the clock... i was close enough,,, it's still day 6 in some time zones jkfdlsjfs]
unfortunate that the overblots have so much going on and take me ten billion years to draw otherwise i think id like drawing them more bc they LOOK VERY COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#ashenviper week 2024#twisted wonderland#twst#jamiazu#ashenviper#azul ashengrotto#jamil viper#cereal tries to draw#and boy did i try. JFKLDSJFLDSJG#i kinda shot myself in the foot deciding today on the day i STARTED WAY LATER#to be the day that i wanted to try shading in the tones lol#and then. picked the day i was doing stuff with a lot of dark black parts#with no color to balance out the similar tones jkLJFSDKLJFDKLJS#im not exactly good with tonal contrast and UNFORTUNATELY IT'S VERY APPARENT HERE TODAY SORRYYYYYYYYYYYY#whatever it's practice teehee. good enough is GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!#anyway i was gonna draw them looking more evil but i kinda ended up goin the route of like. evil while gay#as in kind of extremely obsessed w/each other in their toxic yaoi state idk#like i think if they overblot at the same time it woulda been over for us boys theyd be too strong#uniting the powers of hypnosis and blackmail and also the fine print. and gay. to take over the school and then probably the world#u probs gotta click full screen squint on this one bc if ucked it up stupid style theres too much dark lol#USUALLY I HAVE THE OPPOSITE PROBLEM I DONT GO DARK ENOUGH#[professor voice] youre kinda stuck in the midtones#well. this time i went mid/dark and forgot the light lol#if i had more time maybe i coulda done some like actual shading to round it out but I DONT WANNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT'S LATE#AND IM SLEEEEPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#if drawing overblot details didnt kill me tho i think id like to draw them being overblot together more often lol i enjoy the concept#maybe if i can shorthand it or GO BACK TO MY BELOVED TINY GUYS#i spent the most time on this one of all the other drawings this week#tomorrow i do not anticipate ill spend as long on but#i was considerin the glomas outfits which are ALSO SCARY DETAILS AUGHHGHGH <- it's bc im bad at drawing. LOL
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Till's piece from the event is a very honest depiction, but I want to examine it in more detail since it looks so interesting.
For one, I find the headpiece confusing, I was hesitant on this point in the last post I made covering this I assumed the headpiece Till is wearing (separate from the headphones) was this device.
There isn't even a name for that device, but it's been theorized that it serves a similar function have the collars pet humans have, but affects the pet humans in some way.
I believe it's a behavioral management device since there is an emphasis on the brain when it's shown. And just based on the design itself. I think the purpose of it is similar to a shock collar.
Till in this environment looks familiar, he has that focused expression that he always has when he's writing music, like he's in a daze. Since this is a practice in a controlled environment I think he might actually be handling an instrument this time around (hence the headphones). Till has a natural passion for music, the environment of Anakt Garden also appears more calm than what he goes through with Urak so he looks very much in his element.
But despite how calm, and focused he looks outwardly, his collar shows orange.
Till is giving with his expressions even around the aliens, so if he was feeling bad (I would suspect as much seeing the fresh experiment patches..) I believe it would look more obvious, but the difference threw me off a bit. I could be reaching (definitely) But given how unruly his behavior can be, and how much effort the aliens are putting into finding ways to subdue him I think they used that device to mellow him out so that they could properly monitor him.
The collar being orange gives me the impression that he's not as calm as he looks but the headpiece is keeping him in a 'sedated' state(?)
Red - Condition in the negatives, energy depleted, feeling bad. overall horrible state.
Orange, yellow - to a lesser extent, more like if you're feeling skittish, nervous, (think of this mode as feeling under the weather)
Green - Good, calm, happy, normal and a healthy mode.
(Translation by kh47uo on Twitter)
This behavior could also show desensitization, as he had likely been conditioned to not be phased nor show weakness in front of the aliens even if he feels bad, a way of tolerating. But this is just me trying to make sense of whatever that head gear was... he could've also been sedated beforehand (banging my head against the concrete)
Also interesting to me that we weren't shown Till doing other things, like dancing, or singing. I think it's a testament to Anakt's (And Urak's) priorities as they have Till build on his music skills, his strongest skill. It's probably because that's all he has to offer is his music (His grades in every other subject are a mess.). So building that to its greatest potential before anything is important. But it's a reminder of the situation, he's not so intense about his craft because of his inclination to it. He doesn't make music simply because he likes it, he does it because it's what he has to do to survive. Despite doing what he is naturally driven to do, he looks like he has had his life drained out of him.
Urak (the bastard) knows that for sure. Appearances, and 'decent' skills can get you far but overwhelming passion and skill can put you farther above all the rest, it's exactly why Luka is the best in his league, and why Urak pushes Till to his limits to surpass that even with such destructive means.
#overanalyzing this under a microscope for science#yes this is a smelly brainvomit i really just want to yap because i love this piece#probably one of my favorites#im gonna kill urak im gonna kill urak im gonna kill#explodes#i think i went a little off track here but i found a lot to say about this piece#this whole event looked like what the aliens find flaws in their pet humans/ need to perfect#like Ivan. above all things he needed to get his appearance corrected for the stage#things like that#it's probably very mundane to the aliens#to me it looks like medieval torture#average day of kindergarten in alien stage:#im getting tears on my keyboard#alien stage#alnst#alien stage till#alnst till#i think they probably zooted him out like usual if the head piece is there for nothing in specific#i know its something to do with experiments though the wires are tell tale#whyre the aliens taking so much fucking blood#ill become a doctor to solve this mystery#something something heperu and urak are going to drive their pets ballistic the more they treat them like soldiers that can take anything#in the name of 'improvement' more like 'win my silly ego game my little barbie doll'#THEY WERE ALL JUST KIDS DAMN#FUCK#slams my head on the pavement agai
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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doodles of househusband / homemaker gohan where I accidentally show you that I forgot how to draw in the months of not drawing much
#wishpost#wishartstuff#dragon ball#dragon ball z#gohan#son pan#i fffffuckgin really just did not do too well but these are doodles ill probably never revisit so it feels lame not to show em#based on prev rb about househusband gohan#he deserves the break#these are kinda just warm ups i didnt . even reference or anything#theyre so . im posting them but now going to send this shit to anyone which i usually do kdfjhglsjdhgkjshdfkhdfg#ANYWAYS. POSTING BEFORE I CHICKEN OUT
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do you think you'll put "Stasis in darkness" on AO3 eventually?
see, when the idea first came to me, I hadn't really planned on doing anything with it because I wasn't sure if I could make it work. there's a level of gravitas in the relationship between a god and their devoted servant that I didn't think would translate well to steddie because, let's be real, those boys are goofy dorks. but the idea wouldn't leave me alone so I typed up the original post in an attempt to work it out of my system and move on.
(the post kind of blew up, which I was not expecting at all!! like, not even a little bit! i post all sorts of rough little ideas for my own amusement and I've been able to do that without drawing much attention until that point.)
Anyway, I wouldn't have done much with it but @acowardinmordor left some comments/tags/what have you that helped me nail down the setting in my head which really opened the door for me to explore how the story could progress. (apologies, strife, I'm not sure I ever properly thanked you for that burst of inspiration, so please accept this shoutout as an expression of gratitude). And the amazing @ent-is-indecisive allowed me to rant about it which really helped flesh out the story. Seriously, there are elements and lore coming up that would not have existed if it weren't for ent. (and thank you once again ent for the ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL fanart you made for the reveal scene, I'm still overcome with joy whenever I think about it!).
Once it got to that point, I knew I wanted it to be a self-contained story and I was afraid that if I did a multi-chapter fic I'd lose the thread and never make it to the ending I want the fic to have. (no, the end scene hasn't been written yet but I KNOW what it's going to be and I hope everyone will love it as much as i do). So I promised myself that I was not going to post it on ao3 until the whole thing was written out completely.
However, I occasionally need a confidence/motivation boost so I've been posting consecutive parts of the rough draft here. you have no idea how much the people who reblogged with tags or left comments have helped me fight off the discouragement my brain likes to bog me down with; off the top of my head, @godsweakestboy , @redfreckledwolf, @fuctacles , @spectrum-spectre , and @lawrencebshoggoth have given me lovely, enthusiastic words of encouragement. and they're only the ones I can think of at this moment. there's so many other people who've done this, so if you've ever left me nice tags or comments, please know that I've read every single one of them repeatedly whenever I need to get over a slump. I'm so grateful for all of you!
Anyway, all this is to say yes! It is going to be posted as a oneshot on ao3 once I've finished writing it. <3
#trensu replies#trensu tells stories#stasis in darkness#okay you probably didn't need that whole rant in response to your very simple and straightforward question#the response got away from me a bit#ill admit it#its just that i kinda feel bad that i cant work on it as frequently as id like#for one thing i didnt have a laptop for the last two or three months#but mostly it's because i have carpal tunnel and a full time job that requires i type for most of every shift#this means that writing fic usually results in me experiencing quite a bit of pain if i let myself write for as long as i actually want to#hows that saying go#the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak?#so it might take a while before the fic makes it to ao3 but it WILL get there sooner or later#(and there's still one or two more chapters i need to write to finish off the second installment of hawkins halfway house on ao3 also oof)
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love my voice changing, very gender, very cool! but it absolutely sucks that i have to relearn how to sing along to all my favourite songs from scratch because now i cant hit my usual high notes anymore and i'm not used to singing low at all so it's very awkward! And it keeps changing too! can't wait for my voice to settle in somewhere so i can actually find the right range and keep it :/
#oh also my dad keeps calling me 'cute' when my voice cracks 🙈#and i get embarassed because i can't control it and every time i get excited or talk a bit loudly i sound hickupy#im sorry i just cant talk in a monotone voice! i need to be funny! and dramatic!!#anyway im listening to a playlist and i cant sing along like im used to :<#do i need to learn the lower parts of california dreaming now? i alsways sang the high parts since i learned the song in school#mine#t diary#oh fun fact im going to a karaoke thing with friends next week which usually sounds fun (i like singing!) but maybe ill just watch this tim#today i really cant get any of my usual songs right and its a bit frustrating#probably not too fun in front of people i dont know#anyway im sure itll be fun either way#(btw singing stuff on my own works more or less okay but singing along to a song just doesnt work)#ill just keep practicing :)
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Don't you have anything better to do?
Just let them go.
(Yes its based off that pic from Veil)
#okay sansnomaly rant time.#ITS ABOUT. THE YEARNING.#one of the main themes of undertale is letting go#toriel lets go of her stubborness. letting you go and giving asgore mercy#asgore letting go of his anger#flowey/asriel accepting that chara is gone#chara refusing to let go of hating humanity... to the point of destroying themselves to take em down#and of course#us.#if we cant let go then neither can they. but thats tough. to let em go#we have that “perverted sentimentality”.#as mr alex hirsch says#“the first hardest challenge is to convince people to fall in love with your work"#“second hardest challenge is to create a finale because youre trying to break up with the people who just fell in love with you”#okay personal time#so guess whos semester is starting up again#so high chance i cant post as much as usual HAHAHHA oof#med school is gonna be a toughie ; w ;#ill try to interact but i probably cant draw as much anymore... enjoy this extremely rushed drawing... maybe ill clean it up one day#the brainrot is still strong though#thank you sansnomaly#keep trucking on everyone#sansnomaly#sans x self insert#sans x reader#junie art post
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#mine#bastille#what a silly little guy#i wish i could capture the maniacal nature of his laugh in a gifset but it simply is not possibly pls go and watch it if you haven't#i had to go to coal drops yard the other week to pick up a new phone and the whole time i was just like#they don't know that bastille did a little set floating down here last year#i mean maybe some people did but it probably wasnt the main thing occupying their mind the way it was mine cause theyre probably sane#on a gifmaker point i think i really like the colouring on this like kind of peachy#the vibrancy settings are the same as i usually do but its like softer for some reason#i think its cause i played around with the colour balance more than usual but yeah anyway its cool maybe ill get back into gifmaking on mai#wouldnt that be exciting (literally no one cares)
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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normalest friend group
#wrong they all hate each other#except for elias only eden hates him rightfully so#he got his bestie dante exhiled anyways thats for when i design kat which might be never back to the line up#brooke looks so cute shes eliciting a omg puppy response from me. never slimming her face down again her cheeeks#the more adorable they look the eviller they are. in order brooke elias diamila eden#diamila will stab you in the back for fun and she probably has the highest vampire bodycount in the us BUT she doesnt kill humans#so that basically makes her a good person#elias and brooke would literally kill a kid the only difference is elias would only do it if he was pissed brooklyn would do it for fun😭#shes so cute#wip#ill draw a full body line up later shivers#elias and brooke are the only ones where same face syndrome kicked in but i dont mind that much there is literally no way theyd get mixed u#wait let me go back on what i didnt mention#eden is off the evil scale hes a relatively good guy.... by kindred standards tho hes still a hypocrite kind of nines style but worse#he did the most to become baron and rallies the anarchs into going to war w the camarilla basically but he cant stomach violence#back to how much they all hate each other diamila and eden used to be friends but she did her usual backstabbing when chose the vt m b#camarilla ending diamila hates brooke and brooke just dislikes her but has no reason to hate her and eden and brooke hate love each other#mostly hate by 2021 honestly#his bestie wasnt named dante i meant it dante exhiled. you know
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feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole
#hivemind tv#hmfcu#riley savage#graydon weaver#quadeca#jane remover#eden burke#my art#2023#fanart#doodles#furry#its like. augh. longtime fleouriarts followers are familiar with my eternal tango with posting art online#doing this since i was 11 has like rotted my brain and made me rely wayyyy too much on external validation to motivate myself#and every year or so it gets bad enough that i take a break. but the break usually only lasts a month before i miss the feeling#and come back and then the cycle repeats#its probably worse now bc this is a fandom where getting seen by the creators is not really that hard#so there have been times where im like 'well idk if i wanna draw this. but if i do maybe hivemind will rt it :-)'#NO!!! THATS NOT WHAT ART IS ABOUT!!!!! i cant keep letting myself get addicted to the numbers going up man i gotta get out of here#and i was reading a quad interview from around when idmthy got released. cus hes also brain poisoned like this. but he managed to get out#and now just kinda comes online to release music and then leave#i need to be like that. i need to take a break from art posting thats so long that i come back as a changed man odysseus style#idk. its been so long since i drew stuff that no one gets to see but me. all the art i keep to myself is just out of embarrassment#i need to relearn how to draw stuff just for the love of creation and not “maybe people online will like this one”#or “this new thing came out i need to prove my love of it by drawing it”#sometimes it leads to good art but more often than not it just makes me feel worse#whatever. if any of yall are in the hivemind jane or quadeca discord i MIGHT still post stuff there. but otherwise ill keep to myself and m#friends for a while i think#woooooo this is queued to post while im in orgo lab everyone wish me luck with my thin layer chromatography
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