#ill probably finish it today and tomorrow if i keep focused

[spnexploration]

Pack chapter 22

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Sam Winchester x Omega!Madison

Series summary: Omega!Reader is thrown into a world she's not expecting when her mate turns out to be a hunter, and she's not used to Alpha & Omega Pack dynamics.

Chapter summary: The morning after your night alone.

Chapter warnings: reader self-conscious including about her body, but nothing particularly detailed

Word count: 2.6k (long one!)

A/N: I forgot to add the last chapter to the masterlist when I posted it, which I have now done. Sorry about that! Make sure you read it first.

This fulfils the nesting square of my 2023 SPN AU bingo.

Series masterlist | Supernatural writing masterlist

Part 21 <- -> Part 23

“Good morning Y/N, how’d you sleep?” Sam asked as I trudged into the kitchen.

I just groaned in response.

He chuckled, “You really are perfect for Dean. There's fresh coffee if you'd like some.” I nodded and he fetched me a cup.

I was halfway through before I thought of sharing my news. “Dean messaged me when he got to Claire, at like 3am.”

“Yeah, he messaged me too. He said he's going to work the case with her today, then decide if they stay for tomorrow. I think he realises she'll rebel even more if he dismisses her work.”

I nodded, focused back on my coffee.

“So what are we doing today?” I asked when I was feeling more awake.

“That’s up to you. We can do some more lore if you'd like, you can spend the day reading or watching TV, or you can put yourself in Madison's hands and let her go crazy keeping you entertained.”

I laughed. “Maybe we can do some lore and then I'll see if I'm up for Madi entertainment.”

“Good choice. Grab some breakfast and then meet me in the library. I'll fill Mads in when she's out of the shower.”

---

Sam had me try reading some lore myself and try to make sense of it, all related to the topics we'd covered yesterday. I didn't realise how complicated killing monsters was!

After a while I was feeling tired and run down, so I headed off to Dean's room for a nap. It was probably just the poor sleep I’d had last night without Dean around. I snuggled into his pillow and fell asleep instantly.

---

I woke later. I was not feeling better. I felt so cold, but I was drenched in sweat. My joints ached, it was hard to move them at all.

It took a lot of effort, but I made it to the door finally. I was going to call out for Sam and Madi, hope that they had medication for whatever illness must've struck me down.

I opened the door but felt out of breath with the effort of crossing the room. I had to get my breath back before I could call out.

Suddenly, I heard hurried footsteps.

“Y/N?” Sam called, sounding worried. “We're coming.”

How did he know I needed him?

He rounded the corner a few seconds later, Madison hot on his heels.

“I think I'm sick,” I wheezed out.

“Omega, you're in heat,” he said gently. “I smelt it as soon as you opened the door.”

“But this feels- I've never felt like I was dying before!” I started to fall as I used up all my energy complaining. Sam quickly caught me and carried me back to Dean's bed. Now that he said it, I could feel slick gathering between my legs, but given how much sweat I was covered in, I hadn't really noticed before.

His phone started ringing. It said 'Claire Novak’ on the caller ID.

He answered and put it on speaker, “Hey Claire.”

“Sam! Dean just went into a rut and he is fucking mental! What the hell do I do?!”

I thanked my lucky stars that my body had settled on Dean, that our cycles had aligned. But now I just had to get to him, to be claimed. I shivered. What if my heat finished before I got to him?

“First, tell him Y/N is in heat,” Sam said to Claire. “It will reassure him some.”

“Sam says Y/N is in heat,” she said slightly muffled, like she'd turned the phone away. “He's growling, hang on.”

There were some strange noises and then Dean’s voice, much lower than normal, “Omega?”

“I'm here Alpha,” I managed.

“You... ok?” he sounded like speaking was hard for him.

“Yeah, I'll be ok.” I didn't want to tell him how unwell I felt.

Sam gave me a knowing look and said, “Alpha, can you put Claire back on? I'm going to work with her to get you two together.” Dean growled slightly throughout, but the sounds of the phone passing happened again.

“Sam?” Claire asked. “He didn't say anything, he just gave me the phone back.”

“Ok,” Sam continued, “The next thing you do is that you submit to him. If you start challenging him when he is in an unfilled rut, away from the Omega he is yet to claim, he is going to go feral. I recommend calling him 'Alpha’ and barring your neck if he gets antsy.”

“Great,” she deadpanned. The teenage sass was practically dripping.

“And then you get him back here, as fast as you can.”

“What about the case?” she asked petulantly.

“Claire, I promise, we will help you on this case. But this is literally the second time he has gone into a rut after finding his mate, their mating has already been threatened by factors outside their control. They cannot miss this opportunity. Plus I’ve got an Omega here who’s about to go through the worst heat of her life, she needs him.”

I gulped at Sam’s words.

“Ok, I get it. Sorry. I’ll get him back.”

“Thanks Claire.”

“Bye.”

Sam hung up and turned to me. “It's gonna be a while before they can get here, so we need to get you comfortable.”

“What- what if he doesn’t?”

“That's not going to happen. You've only just gone into heat, and even your normal heat probably lasts longer than one day?” I nodded. “This one is likely to be longer, and worse. Dean got to Claire in about half a day. There is plenty of time, Omega.”

I sniffled and he stroked my hair gently.

“How about we get you some painkillers and a cool bath or shower to try and drop this fever a bit, and then Madi can stay with you. I don't think you're going to want to be around another Alpha too much, but I'll help with the cooling down because I don't think you can hold yourself up right now. Does that sound ok?”

I nodded, too tired and achey to reply.

“I'm going to take off some of your clothes, ok?” I half-heartedly nodded. “Omega, I need your words. I'm not going to do anything you don't consent to.”

“Yes,” I mumbled.

“Ok, thank you.” He started to pull Dean's flannel off me and I whined. “I know, I know, we’ll get back to Dean’s scent as soon as we can. Now, bath or shower?”

I shrugged. He kept gently removing my clothes until I was in just my underwear. I wished he was Dean. Partway through Madi had brought me painkillers and water, but I didn't feel any better yet. Everything ached and every so often I shivered, although Sam assured me I was actually hot.

“I'm going to carry you to the bathroom, ok?” I nodded and he lifted me up bridal style. I leant my head on his shoulder and, whilst he smelled reassuringly like Pack, I just wanted Dean. I started to cry.

“I know, I know,” he murmured reassuringly. “We’re gonna get Dean back as fast as we can, ok? And you're gonna feel a bit better soon. You're gonna be ok.”

He made it to the bathroom where Madi was standing next to the full bath. “Ready?” he asked me.

“Yes,” I mumbled.

He went to his knees and lowered me into the water. It felt strange at first and I clung to Sam's neck, but after a few moments it felt better and I let go of him.

“Now, ordinarily we'd leave you alone, but I don't think you're well enough for that right now.”

I nodded. I felt too weak to do much more, which was probably Sam's point.

Madi wet a face washer and put it on my forehead. I lay back and closed my eyes. I was starting to feel a little bit better. My joints weren't aching quite as much.

I relaxed.

“Hey, hey,” Sam said, tapping my face. I didn't know how much time had passed. “No falling asleep in the bath.” I blearily opened my eyes and tried to glare at him. He chuckled, “I'm not about to let you drown in our own house.”

I started to get uncomfortable, trying to find a way to position myself. And the water was starting to feel cold. Sam must've noticed my fidgeting as he said, “How about we get you out?” I nodded. “You wanna try standing up?” I nodded again and he reached in, lifting me out and gently placing me on my feet on the mat. Madi wrapped me in a towel.

I was still too sore to do much other than whimper as Madi dried me off. It was like having the worst case of flu ever.

Slick flooded out of me into my wet undies and down my legs. I saw Sam's nostrils flare as he smelled it, and he swallowed thickly.

“Are- are you ok?” I asked him, suddenly worried that he might be unable to control his reactions.

“Yes, sorry I scared you. I'm not going to hurt you. The scent of Omega in heat is just a bit, uh, overwhelming to Alpha senses. But it's fine,” he said with a reassuring smile.

I felt like I knew what he meant. His Alpha smell was starting to get overpowering. I scrunched my nose up a little as I smelled him and he chuckled.

“I think you're entering the horny phase of heat,” Madi observed wryly. “Let's get you back to your room and we can kick Sam out before you start scratching him for getting too close to you.” Sam laughed.

“Huh?”

“I might have clawed Dean when he came into the kitchen and surprised me when I was in heat one time,” she said with a smirk. “He was literally just walking past but I, uh, reacted with claws before my brain engaged. Anyway, enough about me, I think you're dry enough.”

“Are you ok if I pick you up again?” Sam asked me.

I was still feeling weak and shaky, so I nodded. He lifted me into his arms and my skin started to crawl. I didn't like Sam touching me, he was wrong, wrong!

“It's ok, I'm going to put you down and leave in just a sec,” he murmured. I was holding myself tense, probably having my facial expressions tell the story of my discomfort.

I suddenly realised I was starting to growl.

I couldn't stop.

He placed me on Dean's bed and hastily backed away. I grabbed Dean's flannel and rubbed it over my face, utterly enthralled with its scent.

“Message me if you need anything,” he said to Madi. “I'll keep you in the loop if I hear anything from Claire or Dean.”

He left. I stopped growling.

“Alright, let's get you out of those wet things,” Madi said.

I tried to reach behind me to unclasp my bra, but my arms were too weak to undo it. I started to cry, scared and annoyed about what was happening to me.

Madi sat next to me and wrapped her arm around my back. “I promise, it'll get better. I think you're feeling rubbish right now partly because of your massive fever, and partly because you're away from your mate. When Dean gets here, I promise it will get better.”

“Omega biology sucks.”

“Oh, so much! Ruts look way easier to get through than the shit we have to put up with.”

“Was it like this for you? I didn't expect to feel this much like I’d been hit by a truck.”

“No, I had Sam with me. So whilst I felt bad when it started, we pretty quickly got to dealing with it. And it sucks you don't have Dean, but he is on his way. You just gotta hang in there for a bit longer.”

I sniffled. More slick flooded out of me, for no apparent reason, and I felt weirdly like my skin was missing something. I started to fidget, trying to work out what I was feeling.

“Ok, ok, before you get all antsy, let's get you in fresh clothes.” I’d almost forgotten my bra and undies were wet from the bath, so distracted by the various painful and strange sensations from my body. I let Madi help me out of them and into a pair of summer pyjamas.

I grabbed Dean's flannel again, rubbing it over me. Then I smelled his pillow, bringing that to me too. I tried to wrap them around me, whining when it wouldn't work.

“You ever built a nest before, Y/N?”

“Huh?”

“I think you’re trying to nest. Hang on,” she pulled out her phone and tapped away at it.

 I couldn't focus on what she was doing, I was too busy trying to work out what to do with Dean's things. I'd positioned myself over his side of the bed, throwing back the covers so I could smell it better. I kept moving his pillow and his flannel around, but it just wouldn't do what I wanted. I was starting to shiver again, and Madison held her hand to my forehead.

“Fuck,” she muttered, “you're burning up again.”

A few moments later there was a knock at the door and Sam pushed a laundry basket of clothes in. I growled at him. I didn't mean to, I just couldn't help it. He quickly shut the door.

I finally smelt the clothes, now that Sam's wrongness had gone. Dean!! I reached out weakly to the basket and Madi picked it up and brought it to me.

“I asked Sam to get all of the clothes out of the hamper that were yours or Dean's and smelled like Dean. I thought you might like to use them in your nest.”

I purred at her and set about arranging the clothes. I don't think I've ever purred in my life.

I had to admit, now that I was putting things where they felt most right, I was clearly making a nest on the bed. I was surrounding myself in Dean's scent, picking up each item and carefully deciding where exactly to put it.

Once it was done, I tried to position myself in it. It wasn't big enough. It wasn't quite right. I wanted Dean!! I whined.

My skin was feeling strange again. I tried to scratch it to make myself feel better. But it wasn't quite itchy? It was something else. I rubbed it. Yes, that was better. But it still wasn't right.

I moved my hands around on my body. It felt a bit better. But not enough. Now I was getting frustrated that it wasn't feeling better enough.

I whined again.

“Where are your toys?” Madi asked me.

“What toys?”

“Sex toys. Can't you tell you’re getting super horny?”

Oh. Maybe that's why my skin felt weird. And why it didn't feel like the right touching. It didn't feel like normal arousal, and I’d been so distracted by everything else, I hadn't even recognised it.

I moved my hands lower. I slipped my fingers under the waistband of my shorts and approached my clit. Fuck it was sensitive right now!

I tried to get Dean's scent. I tried to find the best way to be in my nest. I tried to rub myself, but it felt like trying to tickle yourself. I wasn’t getting anywhere. My skin was crawling again and my joints were aching. I was so annoyed!

Madi appeared in front of me. I had forgotten all about her. She held out her hand.

“Try this,” she said as she handed me a vibrator. “Trust me.”

.

.

.

Taglist:

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[dare-g]

Cross stitching is the art of taking an image you could easily recreate in any other 2D art form in a short sitting and making it take 50 times longer

[ultrastellara]

dilf kaeya x female teacher reader part two

authors note: hi sorry for UHH this being extremely late, i actually been spending a lot of time with my partner. 😭🤚VERY SORRY YALL!! i sorta been burnt out of genshin too :( but ill probably be on a semi hiatus for a while until then.

"well isnt that our dear, ms. y/l/n?" kaeya came walking towards your class room door, seeing you play with his son in the room.

"oh hello there, mr. alberich!" you felt your cheeks turn warm just like yesterday. klaus, his son was too busy drawing a picture. todays assignment was about family. little did you know as kaeya started to walk into your room, his eyes were focusing on the word 'family' that was written on your white board.

"family huh?" he asks you.

he sees his son is still drawing as you're sitting next to him, with a nod.

"todays a small preparation for our big assignment thatll be due next week" you reply.

he smirks slightly before chuckling.

"so cute, ms. y/l/n. honestly did you come up with that last night with the texts i sent you?"

your cheeks become more warm, with your cheeks almost hurting because he made you this flustered. last night you two had chatted for a few hours until you had to get ready for bed. the last

"mr. alberich our texts didnt lead us to-"

"come on, dear i think you should call me by my first name" you felt him closer to you, towering you from behind and gently whispering in your ear. the face you made once you realized he was teasing you more.

"mr.- i mean kaeya, please dont do that" you place your hands cover your face, trying to look away. his son was almost done coloring, asking you a question "ms y/l/n? you okay?". you nod in response, giving him a simple yes before he continued to do his work.

kaeya pulled out the other chair next to your right, he smirked knowing he got you well.

"klaus, are you almost done? i dont want to make your teacher stay even later for us" he gives you a cheery smile. you slowly remove your hands from your face once you felt yourself take a breather.

his son nodded and replied with a simple yes but he continued coloring, trying to find a color. he didnt notice the touchy behavior his father kept giving you.

"oh, dear you're really beautiful" he says, trying to make you feel more relax with his compliment.

"kaeya, thank you but please dont distract me. i am still working until i leave this building." you say replaying what just happened to you a few mins ago.

"i apologize for my behavior but you're really fun to tease, my dear" he winks at you before offering his left hand out to you. you admired how long his fingers were but as well his hand were so big yet pretty.

as flustered you got from looking at his hand, you gave your right hand to him. smoothly as he is, he pecks your knuckles. you noticed him looking from your knuckles and making direct eye contact. he wants to see how badly he can make you feel flustered.

"my dear, you really are fun to break. it's cute seeing how you react to my behavior with you" gently his hand was gripping your chin just like yesterday, wanting more of your attention at him.

his sliver tongue he had was making you feel dizzy but butterflies inside of your stomach.

"kaeya-" you were going to scold him on how he kept flirting with you until his son got out of his chair.

"all done!" his son states, and looks at you two.

his father was no longer sitting but instead was beside you.

his son walked over to you and him showing his masterpiece.

the drawing of his family was you and then kaeya. well kaeya was holding your hand in the drawing with klaus himself, being carried by his dad.

as flustered you were before, you saw kaeya blushing for the first time.

"klaus, who's in your drawing?" you ask him, wanting to see how his father would react to your plan.

your plan? oh playing with fire to fire. you now wanted to see how he would react to your teasing.

"it's me, daddy, and then you ms. y/l/n. you always make me feel better when we play house!" he cheerfully states. he smiles widely once you gave his attention all to you.

"i love it,sweetie! it's so cute. you're thinking of me as your family?" you ask, eyeing his father seeing that kaeya was completely caught off guard by your behavior.

"i see you as my new mommy!"

the looks on kaeyas face was replace by a smirk, once he saw you become flustered just like before.

"see you later, dear" he whispers into your ear, walking out with his son and his cute peacock backpack in his father's hands.

bonus:

"you should stop by our house next time" kaeya states to you.

you were calling him as a few hours ago, him and his son left your class room.

"kaeya i cant, i have work to finish tonight" you say, while typing your work onto a Google document.

"come on dear, i keep hearing klaus talk about you to me. makes me wish i was there with you to help out." you could imagine him smirking as his tone continue to tease you more. "besides i dont think i would want klaus's new mommy to be busy huh" that was what got you hooked onto this man. he really got you in his hands but before you could reply you told yourself just a few more words and i can go home and just eat sleep and not have to deal with this man until tomorrow.

"kaeya, again im still working. we can call later once im finish with my work " you sternly say. hearing him chuckle, "better call me later on once uoure home, dear. see you soon".

"this man...i swear to god hes so attractive but annoyingm.his flirting-" you stopped yourself from talking, feeling your face hurting from how flustered his behavior made you.

tagged list: @itsanastasiabell @luvlysuga

[ladynestaarcheron]

Fears All the Way Down - Chapter Five

ao3 - masterpost

hello, my dears. here's chapter five, without too much fanfare. enjoy<3

---

The morning of her first self-defense lesson with Cassian, Nesta awakes to a cool breeze blowing in the scent of roses from her open window.

"Good morning," Nesta says, smiling slightly. "I guess you liked my gift."

She had finished it yesterday, in the jewelry-making session. It had taken her the better part of the day. A sort of cover for the cracked, broken part of the walls the Illyrians had destroyed. Golden and gleaming and prettier than the beige paint around it, but complementing all the same.

And now the House, apparently, is showing her affection for it: a new rose bush outside of her room, fat flowers dangling down over the top of her window. A very pretty frame for her already spectacular view of the city.

The House gives her different clothes today, too. A fitted shirt, and a knee-length loose skirt, with leggings underneath. As close to pants as she'll wear. By Cassian's slight approving nod when she meets him after breakfast, he approves.

"We'll be starting on the roof," he says, in lieu of a greeting.

She nods once. She remembers hearing him, back in that awful first week here-goodness, but it's not yet been a full month since then, and it feels so long ago-hearing him up there, throwing knives around or whatever it was he did. She guesses she'll soon find out.

The crispness of the morning mountain air hits her in full force, but Cassian doesn't act like it fazes him at all. In fact, judging by the way his wings spread slightly wider, he likes it.

"All right," he says. "Let's begin."

The hour ticks by, slowing and speeding up depending on moments when Cassian touches her. There's none of his usual chatter or teasing; he's serious and unsmiling. The training ring is probably sacred to him.

Serious and unsmiling, but not discouraging. He's generous with his praise when she achieves his simple tasks-too generous, she thinks, but perhaps he has some ulterior motive.

Or perhaps, a small voice inside her head says, he's relieved you'll finally know how to defend yourself, and he means it.

It's not as daunting as it had seemed at first, this self defense. He's good for their agreement; this isn't training. He takes all her weaknesses and her proposed attacker's strengths into consideration and shows her how to maneuver past it all. How to cause an assailant-even one as big and strong as he is-to let her go when they grab her arms tightly in front, how to move her legs when she's caught in a chokehold, and how to break free when someone grabs her from behind.

"I guess no one will be able to pull onto your hair, though," he muses, more to himself than to her. "Keep your arms at your sides; you don't want them to get in the way of this one," he adds, mercifully changing the subject too quickly before he can notice her expression.

No one can pull on her hair now, that's the whole point. But they had, they had, rough enough that strands came out and she had no way to escape. What if she had known these tricks then? Would she have had a prayer? Would she still be human? Elain? And what of Father, would he still be alive? Or would it not have mattered; only delayed her certain torture and death, because she had been human, and they had been Fae, and in the end, that was all-

"Arms like this, Nesta," Cassian says, switching from mock-assailant to instructor as he gently tucks her arms against her sides, and drawing her out of her head to the sound of his voice and the feel of his hands on hers, his body behind her. His wings block out the wind, and she can feel the warmth radiating from him to her core. "Because you don't want them to get in the way of when you break out...and why else?"

"So I don't use them to hurt myself," she says, repeating his words from earlier.

"Right...good. Let's do this one again. One last time."

She takes a deep breath.

"Ready?"

"Yes." She doesn't hesitate. She doesn't need to. He doesn't let her feel trapped.

"All right, I'm grabbing you now-good!"

For she is ready for him, this time. He wraps his arms around her from behind, his arms trapping hers at her elbows, and she instantly draws them in like he instructed. Without waiting for his prompting, she gathers her strength and throws her head upwards and backwards, like he had shown her, and then leaps away as his arms fly open.

"Good, Nesta!" he says, eyes shining as she turns around. He isn't hurt; he keeps moving away for this one so she doesn't do any real damage. "You would've hit his neck there...normally, I'd say go for the chin, but neck's really good...at that speed, with that force, really good..." He grins broadly at her, his first smile of the morning, and after an hour of being in instructor-Cassian's presence, she blinks at the easy switch.

"You did really well," he says, after handing her a glass of water. "Did you...how was it for you?"

She shrugs slightly. "All right." It wasn't fun. But it was hardly suffering. And the movements, following Cassian's instructions...a good way to keep herself focused.

"Would you...do you want to continue?" His voice is casual, but from the careful way he does not meet her eyes, she can tell he is tense.

"Yes," she says, trying to keep her voice casual too.

He brightens, and something inside her dims automatically. His...elation, relief, whatever this spark is, at seeing her agree to do this...it feels, somehow, as though she is doing something wrong. She is cheating or lying. She does not deserve this, is not worthy of his joy. Of him.

"It's not healthy to do workouts every day," he says, "especially...when you're in recovery."

When you're weak, he means. When one is ill and emaciated-even if she is getting better, and trying, it's not going to be enough-never enough-

"So I think...Mondays and Tuesdays...and Thursdays and Fridays? If you'd like to do this long term, I mean."

Nesta blinks. "How long-term?"

He shrugs. "Till you want to stop, I guess."

She purses her lips slightly. "Don't you have...I mean, will you be able to do this four times a week, indefinitely? Don't you have..." An occupation, she wants to say. Running the strongest military on their island, maybe one of the strongest in the world. "You don't have the time," she decides on instead.

He does it again. His deep hazel eyes latch onto hers and don't let her go. She doesn't have a prayer of looking away until he lets her. There's not enough self-defense lessons in the world for her to be strong enough to fight this off.

"I always have time for you, Nesta."

She shivers, and it doesn't have anything to do with the crisp wind under the weak October sun.

He moves his head, and lets her go.

"So tomorrow, then," he says.

"Tomorrow," she echoes. She doesn't stay to watch him fly off.

---

Nesta had done incredibly well. Spectacularly. And she had looked even better.

He had stayed up half the night before, wondering if she was going to show up in pants. She hadn't, but the skirt she had worn had gone only to her knees. The shortest he'd seen her in by far. And her black top...like a second skin. A healthier skin, almost normal. Not translucent any longer. Covering a softer body. More curves, like she used to have. Bones not protruding so much. Golden hair shining in the dim light, coiled and braided like a princess', like a queen's. She even has it up when she goes to sleep, he'd learned during her first week here. Does she ever wear it down? Only to bathe, probably. And what does she look like then, with this slight new weight, this perfect skin, this beautiful hair reaching he doesn't even know how far down...He'd only allowed himself a few moments of ogling her before violently shoving out all thoughts anywhere near the realm of lust from his mind. The training ring was not for this.

Feyre and Elain are beside themselves with happiness, as he knew they would be, when he tells them how it went.

"She agreed to more lessons," Feyre says in wonderment.

"It can only be a good thing," Elain says, tugging on a stray lock of hair.

"Yes," Feyre agrees. "But...maybe, considering...you know. Your history." She shoots him an apologetic look. "Maybe it'd be best if..."

Cassian's heart rate picks up. "You think someone else should teach her?" No, his instincts tell him. She had asked him. She wants him to do it.

But he knows he'll give in. If her sisters think it would be better...because it's her that matters. Not what he wants. What matters is her getting better.

Oh, but he knows he can be the person to help her. Or one of the people, at least. If she just lets him.

Mercifully, Feyre says, "No, no, not that. Just...maybe you could do with a chaperone? Azriel or-well, no, not Rhys. But maybe it would be good for Az to drop by occasionally...what do you think?"

"That's not a bad idea," he admits. A buffer. He could do with one.

"So, what are you teaching her, exactly?" Elain asks.

"Just some self defense. Breaking away from an assailant, today." But maybe, in time, he can convince her to do more. More general exercise, maybe even some offensive techniques. "There was something at the House," he adds. "On the wall where the Illyrians attacked."

"What?"

"This gold...thing. Covering the damage the Illyrians did to it." He clenches his jaw at the memory.

"I thought the House was magic now," Elain says. "Couldn't it have fixed itself up."

"Nesta made it," he says. "She told it she was going to fix it, so..."

The wall had been as fine as any other in the House, in any one of Rhys' homes, before the attack. Painted well, a warm beige, and decorated with any number of ornate pictures and mirrors and shelves for vases and whatnot. But now, the wall was white and bare but for the swirling metal covering the cracks and craters.

Cassian understands. If Nesta had made something for him, he'd want it to be the only thing people saw when they looked at him.

"She made something?" Feyre asks, eyes widening slightly.

"She did say she had that jewelery thing...she said she liked it."

"I never thought of Nesta as an artist before," Feyre says, quieter. "She never had any patience for painting when I showed her."

"Well, I'm sure she doesn't think of herself as an artist...I got the impression she liked it as a way to calm herself down."

"Do you think? What does she need calming down from? Is she-is she angry, do you think?"

Feyre and Elain continue to discuss Nesta and guess at her thoughts and motives while Cassian sits and desperately wishes he could only ask her.

---

Thalia asks to see her as soon as she's available, so Nesta tells Gwyn she'll see her after lunch and heads down to her office.

"Good morning," Thalia says, smiling up at her from her couch.

Nesta sits opposite her. "Hello."

"You're looking refreshed."

"I started...some self-defense. Just a little. With, um, Cassian." Does she know Cassian, Nesta wonders. Probably. He's the kind of person everyone knows.

"Really?" Thalia says, sounding impressed. "How wonderful!"

Nesta shrugs a little.

"Well, I think that comes at a perfect time, actually."

Nesta's eyes shoot up. "Why?" she asks, wary.

"I think I've settled on an idea to help you tackle your goals. I wanted to know what you think."

"All right," Nesta says, after a beat. "What is it?"

Thalia tilts her head back slightly, chin set. Oh, this should be good. "What do you think about keeping a log and schedule of trying new things?"

She sucks in her bottom lip before saying, "Trying new things? How does that help me with my goals?" It seems like Thalia is trying to push her own agenda over actually helping Nesta achieve hers.

"It'll get you in the habit of doing things you aren't used to," Thalia says, patient. "It'll keep you focused on something. It might bring new joys or interests into your life, perhaps personally, or perhaps by bonding with others. And it'll greatly increase your confidence and self-esteem."

Nesta blinks. "That's not one of my goals."

"I know, dear. It's one of mine."

Nesta looks down. "It's..." She forces herself to say the words she would normally just drown in inside her own mind. "Just hard to remember sometimes."

"What's hard to remember?" Gentle, not prodding.

She swallows hard. It sounds so stupid inside her head. How will it sound out loud? "That I'm actually supposed to...get better. Sometimes it feels like that's the wrong thing to do." She bites her tongue-she hadn't meant for that part to come out.

But Thalia never acts like what she's saying is pathetic, even if it is.

"How does it feel wrong?"

Nesta sighs. Not out of irritation over the question, just because she isn't quite sure how to answer. "It's...I don't know. Sometimes one just knows a thing is wrong."

"Hm," Thalia says. Considering, thoughtful. "Well, at any rate, your self-defense lesson today can count as your new thing for the day."

"Well-wait, for the day? You want me to do one new thing per day?"

Thalia's lip quirk. "How often did you think I was asking you?"

"I don't know. A week, maybe."

"I don't think so. Once a day, please. Don't forget to track them all. Write them down. Run along, now, Nesta, and if you could take these books with you? Thank you."

Gwyn finds her putting Thalia's books back on the fifth level. "So, how did it go with Thalia? And with your training session with Lord Cassian?"

Lord Cassian. She'll never get used to that. "News travels fast, I see," she says primly.

"You know it does. How did it go?"

"It went...all right."

"Which one?" Gwyn takes a book from Nesta's hands and puts it on a shelf over her head.

"Both of them. Actually, I think the lesson with Cassian went better," she says in surprise, after reflecting. "And it wasn't training. It was just some self-defense."

"Same difference. What happened with Thalia?"

"She's making me try one new thing a day."

"One per day? Every day?" Gwyn shudders. "I can't believe you go along with everything she says. All her meetings and exercises and now this self-defense...You must be four times as brave as I am, at least."

Nesta winces.

"What are you going to do?" Gwyn continues, either not noticing Nesta's discomfort or respectfully ignoring it. "For your new things, I mean."

"I don't know," Nesta says, weighing two books, as if debating between her options for tomorrow and all the tomorrows after. "I guess...try every fruit I haven't?" Gwyn laughs. "I don't know what she expects me to do."

"I'm sure you'll think of things. You're...you'll do better than the rest of us. You do better than the rest of us. It's so obvious, how much you want to live." She says it confidently, assuredly, her teal eyes set.

Nesta bites her lip. "I did really want to live," she says quietly. That night in Hybern. She had fought with everything she had. The whole way to the Cauldron, and even after, inside it. She hadn't stopped. "I...can't..."

"I know," Gwyn says, voice soft as Nesta's. "You can't remember why. It's all right. You will. I can tell."

Nesta blinks rapidly. She's not about to cry. She's not. She just...she doesn't know what she is.

"I can't believe it's not even noon," she mumbles.

Gwyn chuckles. "Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your day's hardly going to be a quiet one. Calliope wants you all afternoon."

She likes Calliope, generally, so that's not so awful. "For what?"

Gwyn shrugs. "Sorting through her papers, probably. Maybe she wants you as an assistant."

If Nesta gets assigned to a High Priestess, than she doesn't have to do these menial tasks anymore. Of course, there's no promise that the priestess she'll be assisting won't have her own miserable things for her to do...Merrill, Gwyn's priestess, is a royal pain, Nesta knows...

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then," Gwyn says. "Wearing your dress backwards or eating starfruit."

"Ha," Nesta says flatly.

Gwyn laughs once more before going, unbound copper hair flowing behind her.

She's wrong, Nesta knows, about her being braver than anyone else. About her being brave at all. All she's doing now is what other people are telling her. Go see Calliope in her office, Nesta. Come sit with Thalia on the third level, Nesta. Tell Clotho if you liked Daphne's lecture, Nesta. Simple motions, simple movements. Nothing brave about it.

"Now again on the left, Nesta. Good. Good."

It's Thursday morning, and Cassian is the one ordering her about. Sometimes she thinks he sounds like any one of the priestess, with how he talks to her in these lessons, which makes her feel...she isn't sure. It's odd, certainly. Considering all the ways they used to talk to each other. Barbed insults, right in the House, to the other end of the spectrum. The words that cycle in her head some nights, the newest among them being I always have time for you, Nesta...and, of course, intermittent praises from when she does well.

"Excellent. Keep your torso just like that...now with your arms just as I-yes!"

There's really not any bravery required, Nesta decides. Not when the priestesses are all eager to do anything that encourages the girls to, well, do anything, and not when Cassian is...himself. Even now that Azriel, the member of her sister's circle Nesta is wont to consider her favorite if only because he never talks to her, has started showing up for a few minutes every session. Even he, with his face more closed off than Amren's (back when they were on speaking terms), and those dark shadows of his...even he does not discourage her.

Their hour ends, and he watches her drink two glasses of water-discreetly, drinking some himself, too-before turning to leave.

"Um," she says, voice slightly louder than it needs to be.

He pauses. Turns. Waits.

She can't look away again-his eyes-but she has to say something, doesn't she? What was it she was going to say?

"I seem to be doing well," she blurts out. Then flushes crimson.

He grins. "You're doing very well, Nesta."

She smooths her skirt, as if that'll somehow help her regain composure. "What I mean is," she says, voice hopefully not wobbly, "these...lessons...seem to be doing me good."

His grin gets smaller, but his eyes grow soft. "I...am very glad to hear that."

"I mean they help me feel...better. I feel better. Stronger. And I don't get so distracted all the time. And I...don't think about drinking so much." That's true, she realizes. In fact, she hasn't wanted a drink since...Monday? Sunday? She can't even be sure.

Cassian inhales sharply. "Good," he says, rather faint. "That's...that's so good, Nesta."

"So I was wondering if maybe you thought that...because I thought...well, I-I don't know, but maybe..." Stammering, tripping over her own words, it's just-

I have never in my life thought you were pathetic.

She nearly gasps, the words playing in her mind so clear in his eyes it's almost as though she can hear him saying them aloud.

"I thought maybe some other girls would like to join. If you don't mind. Having some more of us."

Cassian blinks. "I...I don't. I don't mind at all. I think that's a great idea, actually."

"Well, I also thought," Nesta starts, encouraged, "that since, you know, you've wanted that female Illyrian legion for so long-" he blinks again, evidently unaware that she knows that-"maybe you could also see if some Illyrian girls wanted to join. Just to see if they have a taste for...any of this."

Cassian's mouth falls open slightly and his hand goes to his forehead. "I...can't believe I never thought of this myself, actually," he admits. "Self-defense as a sort of gateway...that's actually really fucking brilliant, Nesta."

She huffs a sound of amusement at his swearing; it's been so long since she's heard any curse, as the priestesses are all so pious and proper. He starts at the sound.

"Well," she says, ducking her head to busy herself with her skirt so he doesn't see her color again. "I have to go bathe and..."

"Oh, yeah. All right. Well...so Monday? With some other girls?"

"If they want," Nesta says. "I don't know if anyone will want..."

"Well, you just let them know. Maybe ask Clotho..."

"I will. And...will you go to that camp? Windhaven?"

"Windhaven?" he asks.

"I met a shopkeeper..."

"Emerie?"

"Oh," she says. "You know her."

"She's the only female shopkeeper," he says. "We've met."

"I talked to her a little. I think she might be interested. I think she has some friends who might like it, too."

"Oh," he says, surprised. "I didn't know...I assumed-well, never mind. All right, Nesta. Goodbye, then. And great idea, really. And..." he trails off. She looks up to see him smiling. "You did really well. I mean it."

She nods, just once. But then she says, "Thank you."

She can't quite believe she said that. But judging by the way his grin widens enough to show all his teeth, it's something he's been waiting a while to hear.

[honesthammie]

From my prompt list:

4) After reaching your 16th birthday you gain the ability to see everyone's red strings of fate and on your 18th you finally get to see yours, except yours dissappears into the ground/sky.

Fandom:Doctor who

Pairing: 13 x gender neutral reader

This is my first fic on tumblr. I know its hella long and not all of my fics will be like this. This came to me from a dream I had recently. I love Jodie and I decided to write the spider episode from a different perspective. I may have change the episode slightly to fit the reader. I am thinking of doing a part 2 but it may be a while before I do as I have deadlines and stuff to keep up with. The next part may be more fluff between 13 and yourself. I know this didn't have much but it's something. I'm also sorry to any Americans reading this, I love yas but its just the personality I put to go with the readers personality. I'm also sorry for any spelling mistakes as I'm doing this on my phone.

Summary: spider episode with a small change I'm plot to accommodate your beautiful self in this fic

Warnings: slight description of a couple of panic/anxiety attacks, swearing and a bit of angst. Long intro for small fluff. And it's a part 1 do I guess a small cliffhanger is a warning?

Beep beep beep. Your alarm starts blaring in your ears, waking you up with a start. You glare at the interrupting machine before turning it off. After such a crazy night, you did not want your sleep so rudely interrupted. Why did you have a crazy night? It's your 18th birthday today and your friends decided to visit your place for a little house party, last night, to celebrate and now you have a pounding headache.

You groaned as you realised, you would need to take some pain meds before you even think about going back to sleep. Slipping out of your bed, you walk to the bathroom and find the cupboard with all sorts of medicinal and bathroom bits and bobs. You then grab the glass that you placed there in preparation for the definite hangover. The glass was a little cold to the touch but you filled it with some cool water from the sinks tap.

You took two, just so you could have a longer sleep. You waddle back into your bedroom and just as you get comfy, you widen your eyes at the memory. You needed to see your mother today, she said she had a gift for you but she would only be at home until 11. You looked at the machine that you hated for the time. It was currently 10:05. You jumped to your feet and rush to get ready.

As you walked outside, you saw the regular red strings that you saw everyday. Why do you see strings? You honestly didn't know, but you knew their purpose, it helped match 2 soulmates together. But something seemed a little off, there was no one on the street anymore, so why could you still see one line of destiny? You decided to follow the string south, down to your own (s/c) hand which was now slightly shaking at the sight.

"Fuck. Fuck,fucky fucking fuck. Why now? Why me? What the shit is going on with me?" You curse to yourself. You could feel your breath getting rapid and your head started spinning slightly. You quickly unlocked your car and sat down to help calm you down. You took a few deep breaths and focused on your senses.

When you eventually calmed down, you decided to look at where the string led. Oh, how you shouldn't have looked. It didn't go in any way of a compass, it went straight up and past the clouds. How? You had so many questions but you had to focus on the day ahead.

You had been to your mothers house and collected your new (fave game series) and your card. You were incredibly thankful as you have been saving up to buy it for yourself one day. You had played the previous games and loved every one of them and to say you were excited was an understatement. You almost ran back into your place if it wasn't for needing the key to access the gates.

Living in a gated community helped you feel a lot safer but it did also make you a big target for thieves to practise picking locks. No one had figured out where the hidden camera that kept alerting the authorities was though. Even you have tried put of plain curiosity but you got stumped after the 10th day of searching. You were sure you looked in every possible hiding spot, yet the camera always seemed to evade you in the pointless game of hide and seek.

As you unlocked the gate, you felt a twitch on your finger. The string was moving down and at a very fast pace, almost falling speed. You looked up and saw a small black dot heading towards the ground, if thats your soulmate, they would certainly be dead the second they meet their fate. When you could no longer see the dot, you kept your eyes glued to the string, waiting for it to disappear like everyone else's did when a soulmate died.

After five minutes, the string was still there and was still as red as ever, like no harm had come to them. But thats not possible. No creature could survive that especially from that great a height! You were beyond curious and quickly went into your living room and searched on all your social media for anyone else that may have spotted the dot in the sky, yet no one had but you knew (b/f) had another massive fight with their roommate, Stella, over whose turn it was to do the dishes again.

If you didn't know that Stella was in a relationship with another, you would have sworn those two were in a relationship. You giggled at the silly thought, "if Stella ever goes through a break up with her, I'm totally gonna set those two up."

You give up on finding anything out today, maybe it'll be on the news tomorrow and you set off to go on an online shopping spree, you had a few codes and now, thanks to your wonderful mother, had a little cash to spare and you did see that gorgeous top on sale. Once you had spent the day either shopping or gaming you decided to head to bed but you couldn't stop thinking about that dot and what the red string meant for you.

When your alarm had went off, you hit it and got dressed for your new job at some hot shot posh hotel run by an aspiring American with High expectations and little experience with Sheffield. You had been told you wouldn't get to meet him much and you were beyond fine with that, you hated Americans, simply because you hated violence and guns were the big no on your weaponry list of avoidance. You didn't mind weapons in video games, those were harmless to the outside world. You didn't mind verbal violence though, it was all you had to defend yourself with and in Sheffield, that was better than nothing. You were very short tempered when it came to your anger but you found that it was either verbal or physical, you chose to be verbal.

You looked at your phone for any messages from (b/f) and had a good luck message. You replied with a smiley face and a "ill need all the luck I can get. I've heard from a few employees that he can be a real asshole for no reason and fires people just because they made eye contact for too long. It's like he suspects someone is out for his blood."

After 2 minutes you received a reply from from them. "You better be on your best behaviour then, young lady!"

"That's the problem. I wonder what the record is for the quickest a person has got fired? Because I may break that, you know me! I don't exactly do as I'm told, that's why finding a job has been so hard. Anyway, I best get ready, gotta look the part! First impressions and all!" You replied with a nervous face. What you failed to notice was the red string no longer pointing towards the sky and you were making it shorter with every step you took. You did give up on finding out about the strange dot and came to the assumption that it fell in a lake, there were plenty of them around.

You walked into the swanky looking hotel and noticed the cobwebs that definitely were not there two days ago when you had your interview, yet they looked like they had been there for weeks. You would have put it down to Halloween decorations if it wasn't for the fact that it was June. You decided to not ask in case this was some sort of strange new American trend that your boss was following to help bring in the youth. It does help make it fit into Sheffield a lot more with the run down and abandoned look. It would need some rust, water damage, mold and cracks to finish the look but it was a start. If you had to be honest, the spider webs helped bring the place together. It was way too posh for Sheffield but you had to lie and say you love it in order to get hired. Just from that lie alone you knew exactly the personality of your boss, arrogant, vain and ignorant.

"Hello, you must be my new helper! I'm Najia, your second in command here. As you can see, there are loads of spider webs so they should be priority. If you could start cleaning in the south west second floor and continue that floor, that would be amazing. Now here's your cleaning trolley and if you happen to finish the floor early, send me a little message through the walkie talkie and I'll give you another room or floor. Do you have any questions?" Najia spoke softly. She seemed lovely and it was shame that she had to be in a place that would get more damage than its worth.

"Just one question: why so many spider webs?"

"I don't know, they just seemed to have appeared, I thought it was silly string from some teenagers that managed to break in somehow but it is actual spider web. It wasn't here when I left last night. I guess I'll have to ask someone about that."

And with that you separated and got to your floor when you finally noticed a slight burning sensation on your finger, it wasn't hurtful. It was like putting the finger in a really hot bath. You looked down and noticed it now pointed downhill and seemed to be glowing a shade of gold ever so gently that you would miss it if the weird sensation didn't make you look.

You left your trolley outside a toilet to make it seem like you were in there when really you had wondered off to follow the string. You would probably lose yourself in the maze of hallways that all looked the same as the last if the string didn't help lead you to a ballroom. You opened the door and instantly screamed. A giant spider was walking towards you, however you couldn't get out, you had used a staff door which needed a key card to use from this side as the other side still needed to be fitted and you left yours in the trolley, near the toilets. And the massive spider seemed to be blocking the other way out so you were trapped.

You weren't scared of spiders but seeing them at the size of a van did intimidate you. You started shaking from fear of what it would do to you. Out of pure instinct, you put your hand out to protect yourself and the sound of 8 legs against wooden flooring had ceased. The only sound was your laboured breathing. It stayed like this for what seemed like hours but in actuality was only 5 minutes. You opened your eyes slowly to see 8 more stare right back. 8 eyes that showed fear but no intention of harm. Instead the spider gave you space to breathe by walking back a few feet. Then it seemed to be watching you, studying your next move to see if you were a threat and whether or not it should kill you.

You stayed still for a moment, wrapping your head around what had just happened before gently walking towards the creature with both hands forward to show them clean of weapons. You decided to try and speak to the spider to see if it can understand you.

"Hello. I'm new around here, I'm sorry if I'm trespassing on your area, I wasn't aware of you being here to be honest. I mean you no harm, if anything, I want to help you but unfortunately, I'm stuck in here aswell." You spoke carefully as if it was a child that was afraid. You gently put your hand in its head and it seemed to understand your good intentions and your situation as it let you pet it. Now you were close, you started to admire it and realised it wasn't poisonous or venomous, it was just a regular house spider. But you couldn't figure out how or why it got this big but it did explain the cobwebs everywhere.

You had been with the spider for hours and it seemed like Najia either didn't care or has gotten fired as she hasn't asked about you. You had spent the time talking or singing to the spider. She, as you found out after looking it up, seemed to put her body around you to protect you. You had even met a couple of her children as they gave you food from the cafeteria to nibble on when your stomach growled.

Eventually the burning on your fingers turned up massively and was causing you pain. The spider seemed to sense this and wrapped her web around your finger to help cool it down a little. It didn't help but you showed gratitude anyway as she was only trying to help in anyway she could. You gave her a small smile and her eyes seemed to show sympathy in return.

Then the doors opened again and the sound of several feet walked in. "Oh thank god. I thought I was never going to be found in here." You thought to yourself as you heard the voices mumble to each other and probably about Betty and what's the best way to get rid of her. You would have paid more attention if your finger didn't feel like it had caught fire and was tight as if your soulmate was amongst those that had walked in.

Now you were nervous. How would you introduce yourself? What did they look like? Were they male or female, not that you really cared? So many questions made you feel lightheaded so you grabbed onto Betty to keep yourself planted.

Then the door opened again and a familiar voice echoed in the hall and you knew exactly how he'd want to deal with Betty and after your bond today, you would rather die than her. She was obviously innocent here and maybe the others could see it. Then you heard the familiar click of a gun safety being taken off and your body reacted before your mind did and you jumped in front of her to stop him, although you had a feeling it wouldn't, but it was worth a shot for the others to stop him.

"Don't you fucking dare shoot that gun Dickhead! Not without going through me!" You spoke with fire in your eyes and maybe a slight mix if fear aswell. That's when you looked over at the new group of people. They all seemed trustworthy enough.

There was Najia, who welcomed you here earlier and she looked sad, so she had definitely been fired. Then there was another woman who looked a lot like her, you guessed she was a daughter or something and she was pretty and definitely somone with authority with the way she stood and held herself, maybe she is a police officer? A man who looked as though he was in his 50s and definitely did not belong in this weird group. A young man who looked of a similar age to the police woman, maybe they are friends.

Then you laid your eyes on one of the most beautiful woman, no, human, you had ever seen and would probably never see again. She had short blonde hair in a bob. They seemed to be brunette at the root. She had beautiful chocolate honey eyes that glimmers with so much emotion and age well beyond her years, like she had experienced thousands of years before this moment. You also noticed her odd sense of style but you admired her boldness and it did look amazing on her. You decided she could only be described as sunshine and rainbows.

Then you noticed her hand And a familiar red string that was also glowing a beautiful subtle gold. Like millions of tiny golden stars circled around the string in a beautiful dance of love. Your eyes started to follow the string down and back to your own. She was your soulmate. That goddess that stood before you, was to be yours forever some day.

Then you looked into her hypnotic eyes before you remembered where you were and what situation you were in. And you realised everyone was staring at you for your previous action towards a spider.

"If you want to keep your job, I'd suggest you move out of the way silly girl!" Your boss grumbled in a threatening tone.

"Nope. You are about to hurt an innocent creature that is stuck and terrified. You built on top of landfill and didn't bother to check and thought of no consequences. This is your fault. Is this how you would treat a child that was a mistake after a one night stand or something? Would you shoot a child that had no choice?" You spoke with confidence yet more nerves now she was there listening to every word. When he didn't answer you shouted "Answer me! Would you shoot your mistake of a child?"

He glared at you. "This is different. This is an animal. A pest. It needs to be killed so more can't be born! I made my mistake and now I'm fixing it!" He bellowed just seconds before a shot was made from his gun. You had expected pain but instead you heard a horrible shriek from behind you.

You quickly turned around and petted her whilst whispering sweet words as she took her last breath. You stood up and made your way over to the murderer. You couldn't stand him and you were so tempted to take his gun and shoot him with it, but you didn't. With fire in your eyes and pure hatred, you slapped him hard enough to leave a mark and maybe a bruise as a reminder of his shitty choices. "You can't fire me because I fucking quit you arrogant dick! She had caused no harm to you or I and I'm sure if you would have sorted it sooner, so many more lives could have been saved as she only had humans because flies didn't fill her anymore! She was so kind and just so afraid. I hope you lose everything you pathetic sad sack of boiled shit! You are truest one of the lowest excuses for a human I have ever met and if we meet again please be very afraid, because next time, it won't just be a slap you have to worry about! It'll be your balls as I cut them off beacuse men like you shouldn't repopulate the planet! You horrid scum! I hope your empire fucking collapses!" You spoke with venom lacing every word. You were seething and boy did his face look punchable. Instead you walked away with your middle finger proudly being the last thing he sees as you walk out the normal doors.

Once you were outside, you sat in the steps and finally let out all the emotions. You cried so hard, over your loss of yet another job and a newly found friend. You screamed at him with a string of curses that would offend just about anybody. You suddenly felt somone sit at the side of you. You knew who it was when the string was burning more than ever before and yet you couldn't feel it over the pain your heart.

"You did brilliant back there. You chose, not just your job, but your life over a creature you barely even knew! If you wouldn't have jumped in when you did, I don't think her children would've had a chance to escape to my TARDIS because he's going on a hunt right now for the rest of them. Sure, you didn't save her but you saved so many more lives than you think. And I know each one is eternally grateful for what you did. I know I would be." Her words were certain and sympathetic. They seemed to calm you down instantly. Or maybe is was the way she talked that helped with her soft but strong voice and you knew you already couldn't get enough like it was the best drug ever. You could listen to her all day and yet, she had said very little to you. It was a strange effect but you liked it.

She fell into a silence for a while just keeping you company as you came to terms with had happened.

[escapewriter]

Light of My Life

pairing : minghao x reader

synopsis : what’s better than celebrating your boyfriend’s birthday rapunzel style?

genre : whole lotta fluff and a bit of humor

word count : 2k

warnings : slight mentions of murder but its a joke

a/n : for minghao’s birthday😌 it isnt a lot like how i wanted but it does justice lol. also, lets pretend they weren’t by the ocean lol

svt written masterlist || main masterlist

You sat in your apartment opening the box you received from the mail today. Jun had helped you plan this date for Minghao for his birthday and this item would complete the whole date. You pulled out the lanterns that were in a plastic bag and scanned them. 

“Perfect,” You place them carefully in the picnic basket, finally set for your date with Minghao tomorrow. You heard your phone buzz on the table.

Minghao : hi yn, what you up to?

You smiled at his text, grateful that he took the time to text you even with his busy schedule 

You : i am currently preparing for our date tomorrow :D

Minghao : ooo how exciting. can i know what you have planned??

You : you should know the answer to that question 

Minghao rolled his eyes as he stared at his screen. Of course you would turn the tables on him, he always made your dates a surprise. 

Minghao : no fair :(

You : how is this not fair??

Minghao : cuz i want to know lol. 

You contemplated but stood your ground; you can’t tell him. 

You : guess you just have to find out tomorrow. 

Minghao sighed, giving up on attempting to find out what you have planned. 

Minghao : fine. but don’t think ill tell you what i have planned for your birthday. 

You : yeah yeah i know. dont you still have practice?

He looked at the clock in the practice room and then to some of his members who were sitting on the floor or standing. 

Minghao : yeah i should probably get going. its late too, you should sleep. 

You : i will dont worry. stay safe and dont push yourself. 

Minghao : i wont. goodnight my love, i love you.

You : i love you too. 

You locked your phone and took the basket, placing it on the kitchen counter. Tomorrow was going to be an eventful day. 

~

You placed the basket with all the supplies you needed in the trunk of your car, deciding to make it a surprise. Taking the other basket that you prepared this morning with various types of food, you put it in the backseat behind the drivers side. Getting in, you started the car and headed to Minghao’s dorm. 

You tapped the wheel in excitement, you finally get to have some part of the day with Minghao before his birthday. It was November 6th, so it wasn’t exactly his birthday, but you did get to have him until midnight and that’s all that counts. And it made your plan perfect. 

You got to the parking garage and texted your boyfriend that you were downstairs waiting. After 5 minutes, you see the elevator open and Minghao step out, looking as handsome as ever. 

He approached the car and got into the passenger seat, giving you a quick kiss. “Hi,” he smiled at you, “Hi,” you smiled back. You began to pull out of the building, picking up a small conversation with each other.

“How was the drive?” You turned down the radio, “Same as usual, smooth, nothing wrong, I was safe.” He smiled, happy that you had a decent ride, “That’s good. So, where are we going?”

You took your eyes off the road to look at him for a split second before focusing back on the road. A grin creeped onto your face, “You’ll find out soon Hao. Be patient, you’ll love it.”

“No, I know I’ll love it, I just have to let my manager know because of protocol,” You sighed, “Is that really the reason?” He looked outside the window, playing with his rings, “Half of it, they told me to have fun.” 

You smiled and turned up the radio, “Shut up and enjoy the ride baby. Trust, you’ll enjoy it more.”

~

“This is nice,” Minghao sighed beside you on the picnic blanket. “Yeah it is.”

All the food in the basket was empty, mainly Minghao devouring most of it. “So, what are we gonna do now?” You looked at the time on your phone. Sun sets at 6:45 and it’s 3:50. You have three hours for what you have planned so it should be enough. 

“I’ll be right back, I have to get something.” You got up quickly and retrieved the extra basket that was in the trunk. You returned to Minghao, “Ta da!” 

“More food??” You laughed and sat down in your place, “No, an activity. Jun actually helped me with the idea.” You opened up the basket, taking out of the things you packed inside, “What is this YN?” He picked up one of the lanterns. 

“It’s a lantern. I packed all these art supplies so we could decorate them and light them up and release them. Originally, I wanted to do it at midnight because that’s when your actual birthday is, but the timing wasn’t right, and plus it’s dangerous during nighttime.” 

He looked at you with his mouth agape, “That’s so,,, thoughtful. I can’t believe you came up with this.” 

“Actually Jun-” “-let’s just give you the credit for now.” You smiled at him as he leaned over and kissed you on the lips. You held his face in place as his right hand was planted in between the two of you so he wouldn’t lose balance. Pulling away, you smiled at each other, “Happy Birthday my love.” 

“Thank you, I love you so much. Now! Let's get to painting!”

~

“My lantern looks like crap oh my god,” you looked at the blue blob on your cylinder object. “I’m sure it looks fine YN, just keep going.” You put down the paint brush and looked at your boyfriend. 

He’s been in ‘The8’ mode ever since you two started painting. He didn’t want you to see what he was making, so it became a rule that when you both finish, that’s when you present your pieces to each other. 

“I don’t know why you’re not letting me see yours, it’s not like I haven’t seen you paint before.” You continued to try and make your blob look presentable by drawing a happy face, “You know, when you took me out here in like the middle of nowhere, I thought you would’ve killed me, broken up with me and left me here to starve, or go cloud watching.”

You looked at him with a weird face, “Well for one thing, there are no clouds today. And two, I wouldn’t have let you starve, that’s too painful.” You finally looked up at you, “So you would’ve killed me?” 

You purse your lips, “Would you rather starve to death?” He rolled his eyes and looked back down at his artwork. 

“I get that Jun helped you with this, but like, how did the idea come about?” You painted mindlessly while pondering on an answer, “Well I thought of you and what you would like, even if you said anything. But I just thought about what you meant to me, like how lanterns are bright when you light them up, and when you release them, they float. It’s a really bad metaphor, but you’re like my lantern. You’re the light of my life and every time I’m with you, I’m always on cloud nine. Plus it fits with your culture.”

He was looking at you when you tried to sneak a peek at his lantern. “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just see you try to look at my lantern. But besides the point, that was really cheesy, but I love you.” You smiled and put down the brush. 

“Well, I’m done with mine.” You looked at him, seeing him also set down his brush, “Me too. Do we let it dry and assemble it?” You contemplated on your answer for a bit, “Uhh, I could probably assemble mine because it looks like trash anyway, but if you like yours, let it dry a little and then assemble it.” 

~

Minghao just finished assembling his lantern after it dried for a bit. It was currently 6:50, the sky was just turning into various shades of orange, pink and purple. “Okay, wanna see mine now?” You looked at your boyfriend and he held his lantern behind his back, “Show me.”

He brought it in front of him and lifted it up, slowly turning it to see the details that he drew on. “Wow, it looks beautiful, I can’t really see it.”

He brought it back down and signaled for you to scoot closer, “This here, is the bouquet of your favorite flower that I got you for Valentines Day,” You smiled as he turned it a little to move to the next picture, “This is the tree that we sat by on one of our dates. The one where a bird pooped on you,” You laughed and slightly hit his shoulder, “I can’t believe you put that there.”

“How could I not? It was an amazing memory. Anyway, this is a drawing of our matching bracelets, I didn’t want to paint it because I thought it would ruin it, so it’s a bit plain.” You shook your head, “No it’s beautiful.” He turned it to the final piece.

“This is a picture of us, or a silhouette of us. We’re watching the lanterns fly up into the beautiful sky together.” You felt a tear drop fall from your eye, “Aw crap what the fuck? Why am I crying?” You giggled and quickly tried wiping away the tears with your hands as Minghao laughed beside you. 

He put down his lantern and pulled you in closer to him, “Why are you crying though, baby?” You sniffed, “Because this is a celebration for you, and I feel like I should’ve painted something beautiful for you.” You kissed your forehead softly, “I don���t care what you paint baby, as long as I’m here with you, it doesn’t matter.”

“I kinda don’t want to release that one, it’s too beautiful.” He looked at you with a pout, “but I painted the future.” 

You laughed, checking your phone, “Okay fine. It’s 7:10, we should light it up now.” 

You both got up, lanterns in your hands. Grabbing a lighter, you lit yours and then Minghao’s, “Ready YN?” You held the hand that he held out, “I feel like I’m in high school musical,” he laughed, squeezing your hand, “Keep it PG, we do not makeout in public.”

“Okay,” You rolled your eyes with a smile, “On the count of three.” You both gazed into each other’s eyes, “1. 2. 3.” 

You both let go of the lanterns and saw them slowly float into the sun-kissed sky. You felt Minghao release your hand before hearing jazz music begin to play and feeling his arms wrap around your waist, swaying softly to the music. 

“Of course jazz music.” You heard him chuckle behind you, “Well, you can’t blame me, it’s a perfect time for it.” You smiled and leaned more into his embrace.

“Did you like the date?” He hummed in response, his chin on your shoulder, “It was perfect. I loved it a lot, thank you for making this special for me.” 

“Of course. It’s, well almost your big day after all.” You turned around, placing your hands on his shoulders and his on your waist. “Happy Birthday my love,” He smiled at you, heart filled with love and happiness as he looked into your eyes more. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss to your lips, taking your breath away. You would never get tired of this feeling. 

Pulling away, you smiled at each other before he looked up, “We should take a picture.” He took out his phone from his pocket, pausing the music and switching on the camera. He held it at a low angle to get the lanterns in the picture, but also getting the sunset in the background.

“Say cheese!” Instead of smiling at the camera, you placed your lips on his cheek, him capturing the moment perfectly. “You sly person,” you giggled and quickly pecked his lips. You grabbed his phone and resumed the jazz music. 

Hold out your hand, “I believe we were dancing earlier?” He gave you a smirk and took your hand into his before pulling you closer, the two of you watching the sunset and dancing slowly to the sound of jazz.

[drprettyboyspence]

You’re a Hero, Spencer Reid

Dr. Spencer Reid/reader 

Summary: Late one night Spencer comes home from an especially difficult case. His girlfriend Y/n persuades him to talk about it. Inspired by the JJ/Will episode “Sick Day” (Season 12 Episode 2) This takes place during Season 15. 

words: 4.9k

warnings: mentions of violence, mental illness (basically the amount of violence in a regular cm episode), angst, very very light swearing,  nothing else to my knowledge! 

a/n: I honestly love that JJ and Will scene so I decided to right one about Spencer. This made up case took we way too long to come up with and honestly I know way too much about lobotomies now lol, but I hope you enjoy!! :) 

It’s 12:30 am, Spencer Reid trudges up the stairs to his second floor apartment which he shares with his girlfriend of 5 years, Y/n Y/l/n. His body on the verge of collapsing but his mind hyped up on adrenaline, Spencer pulls his key out of his pocket before unlocking the door, excited to finally be home after an energy-draining case. He knows he should sleep, the team very rarely gets much sleep during a case and the last one had been short but intense, so it’s been about 48 hours since Spencer has slept if he’s being truly honest. Spencer feels as if he’s in a trance, he’s exhausted but he just knows he won’t be able to sleep if he tries. His exhaustion leads him to crash into a chair near the table, causing it to scrape against the floor loudly. Damn it Spencer thinks, hoping he didn’t wake up his girlfriend but knowing he probably isn’t that lucky. 

“Baby, you’re finally home! I missed you so much!” Y/n says, appearing out of the shadowy hallway, obviously having just woken up. She gives Spencer a hug and notices the way he holds on to her extra tightly, like he does when he’s feeling stressed or overwhelmed. 

“I missed you too Y/n, so much.” Spencer whispers, still enveloping her in a tight hug. The last case had been harder on him than he’s willing to admit, but holding Y/n close to him makes him feel safe, he can’t lose her if he just never lets go, right? 

“Are you okay Spence?” Y/n asks after Spencer finally lets her go. She knows the tells, she may not be an FBI profiler but she can tell when Spencer isn’t okay, and right now is unfortunately one of those times. She can see the way he holds her just the smallest bit too tight, she can see his eyes, droopy from exhaustion but darting around the room at the same time, still hyped up on the adrenaline from the case, and the eye circles that have become a signature look for her boyfriend are even darker than usual, showing he’s been without sleep for likely more than a day. 

“I’m fine Y/n, really, you know how the job is, it's never easy.” Spencer replies, in a manner that shows Y/n he wants to talk about it, but he doesn’t know how to ask and doesn’t want to be a bother. 

“Are you sure Spence? We can talk about it if you want to-“

“I said I’m fine Y/n! Please drop it!” Spencer snaps back at Y/n, regret immediately flushing over his face. He doesn’t yell at her often, and they hardly ever fight, he says he’s seen too many couples separated by tragedy to waste time on silly arguments and quarrels. “I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to snap at you, I think I’m just high-strung and exhausted.” 

“You can’t keep it in Spencer, it will all build up inside and stay with you, you know that. We need to talk about it if it's weighing down on you this heavily, I’ll put the coffee on, it looks like we won’t be sleeping for a while.” Y/n says warmly, walking across the kitchen to switch on the coffee machine. “Okay Spence, start at the beginning…” 

40 hours earlier 

“All I’m saying JJ is that you aren’t even giving science-fiction a chance, its not all-”

“Spence I honestly don’t care, I refused to go to comic-con with you back in the day and I still refuse now, but you can take the boys, they’d love to go.” JJ and Spencer abruptly finish their conversation as they walk into the round table room and see the rest of the team staring back at them with solemn looks on their faces. 

“Let’s get started please.” Emily says promptly as JJ and Spencer take their respective seats at the table, everyone focusing their attention on Garcia.  

“Alright my crime-solving friends today’s devilishness comes to us from the one, the only, sin city itself, Las Vegas, Nevada.” Long-time members of the team glance sympathetically at Reid, knowing how difficult it can be for him to go home, especially now that his mother has been moved closer to Virginia. “Those pictures on your tablet now, they are of Dolores Smith, the fifth victim in a series of what appears to be lobotomies gone wrong.” The team winces, remembering the last time lobotomies had come up in a BAU case. 

“The fifth victim? Why weren’t we called in earlier, lobotomies aren’t exactly a common occurrence, even in Las Vegas.” Rossi asks. 

“This unsub has been driving his victims out into the desert, even crossing state lines, victim number two, Susan Atkins, she was found in Utah, almost 400 miles away. They simply didn’t put it together until the last two victims were found in Las Vegas.”

“Garcia, anything connecting the victims, they seem to be of different sexes and ages.” JJ asks. 

“Yes, this is where it gets tricky, all five victims were schizophrenic patients at Bennington Sanitarium.” It was like a chill went through the room.

“So they were all patients at a mental hospital?” Luke says, clearly confused about the strange energy currently in the room. 

“Tell them Spence” Emily urges. 

“Bennington Sanitarium isn’t just any mental hospital, it's the mental hospital my mom was in.” 

The coffee machine beeps, interrupting Spencer’s telling of the story, he moves to pour the cups. Y/n places her hand on his knee before he can move out of the chair.

“Sweetheart, let me do it, you just sit here and try to relax, you’ve been through enough, the least I can do is a pour a damn cup of coffee for you.” Y/n picks out Spencer’s favorite mug, a Doctor Who one she had bought him for the first Christmas they spent together. They both inhale deeply over the cups of steaming liquid, as good as gold on a late night like this, the 1:20 am flashing over the stove only showing as a reminder that this night won’t be ending any time soon. “Alright, continue.” 

36 hours earlier

“So here’s what we know. All five victims had recently been released from Bennington Sanitarium, they were schizophrenic, having been residents of the hospital for ten to twelve years.” Luke starts the discussion as the jet begins its descent into Las Vegas. 

“Why were they released?” Spencer responds. 

“Garcia, any information you can give us?” Tara asks the computer screen where Garcia’s face pops up. 

“My friends, unluckily because of the discreet nature of mental health records, the mistress of all things technological is having a little bit of trouble narrowing in on the information you search for, but from what I can see, all five victims were taken out of the hospital after responding well to medication, I haven’t gotten to those records yet but I will hit you back as soon as I hear anything, peace out.” 

“You okay Reid?” Emily asks Spencer as quietly as she can, knowing that this case is surely striking a nerve with him, all these victims sharing a very big part of their life with his mother, she probably knew some of them personally. 

“I just have a bad feeling about this, and I tend to listen to those feelings very carefully. Let’s finish this one quick and get back to Quantico.”

“You heard the kid, let’s make quick work of this case and put this bastard away before he can even think about taking another victim.” Rossi states, earning nods from the rest of the time. 

“I hate to burst your bubbles my friends, but a sixth victim has just been found in Las Vegas once again, 63 year old Barbara Sullivan.” Garcia popped in. 

“Alright change of plans everyone, Matt go to the 5th dump site, Tara and JJ, you girls will go to the most recent dump site, Luke and Rossi will go the morgue, try to get any information you can about the lobotomies, Reid and I, we’ll go to Bennington and get insight into why each of these victims were released and what medicines they were on at the time. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but why was Garcia having such a hard time finding the medical records, isn’t that type of thing usually a breeze for her?”  Y/n asks. She’d become quite close to Garcia in the years she and Spencer had been together and there was nothing that girl couldn’t do. 

“We were having trouble with that too to be honest, mental health records are usually rather secretive, but nothing a hacker like Garcia wouldn’t be able to crack in an instant. Can I have another cup of coffee baby?” 

“Of course Spence, anything you need.” Y/n say before filling up another coffee, glad he’s finally relaxed enough to talk freely about whatever happened on this case that was so clearly affecting him. 

34 hours earlier 

“Dr. Reid, good to see you again, I wish we didn’t have to meet under these circumstances though.” The main doctor at Bennington says, having known Spencer over the years Diana had spent at the hospital. 

“Dr., hello. This is BAU Unit Chief Emily Prentiss, we want to ask you some questions about the victims if that would be possible. I know it’s-”

“Excuse me Dr.! Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt! Wait, are you Dr. Spencer Reid of the Behavioral Analysis Unit? I’m a huge fan of your work. Work, oh god you must be here about the recent murders, tragic aren’t they?” A rather hyper man interrupts Spencer. Spencer awkwardly and reluctantly shakes the hand of the stranger, both him and Emily puzzled about this strange interruption. 

“Mr. Robbins, if you would, please leave us alone as the federal agents and I have some important details to discuss. Actually, you may go home for the day, your services are no longer needed, see you tomorrow.” The high-strung man nods eagerly before waving once more and leaving. “I’m so sorry about that Dr. Reid, that would be the new data collector and organizer, Mr. Robbins, a bit hyper for my taste, but that man is a wizard with anything technological.” Just as Emily is about to resume questions about the victims, Garcia calls. 

“What’s up Garcia? Anything you can tell us?” 

“Emily, my sweet, sadly I come once again bearing bad news. A woman has just been reported missing, 54 year old Dana Reeley, schizophrenic, reported missing by her son 20 minutes ago, says he left the house for no longer than 20 minutes, came back to an empty house no signs of struggle.” 

“Is it possible his mother is confused, left the house on her own?” Spencer asks, remembering times his mother had been so confused that she went off on her own. 

“Definitely not, the doors had protective covers, the mother couldn’t get out by herself, it had happened before. By the way, I’m still having an extreme amount of trouble trying to figure out why the victims were taken out of the hospital.” 

“Oh I can help you with that, each of the victims were taken out of this establishment due to the opinions of each of their respective children that they would be better taken care of under their own roofs.” 

“Well, uh- thank you unknown male voice that I’m assuming is the Dr. running Bennington Sanitarium, that’s helpful information.” 

“Dr. thank you for your time, but it seems we should we getting to the police station.” Emily says, realizing that this probably isn’t a good place for Spencer to be, and seeing his face becoming increasingly distressed due to the implications of the information the Dr. had just given them, if they’re going to need him to use his brain to solve this case they need to get out of here. 

“Woah wait one second Spencer, all of the victims were patients at the same hospital that your mom spent years at, they were all schizophrenic, and they were all taken out of the hospital by their children shortly before their murder, that’s a-“

“Hell of a coincidence, I know, and you know me, there’s no such thing as coincidences. This was weird though, like a very small chance that this could be about me, but it was seeming more and more like I was to be more involved with this case than I had thought.” 

24 hours earlier

The rest of the team had gone to bed hours ago, but Spencer is still awake, lying in the hotel bed staring at the ceiling. He debates calling Y/n, he tries not to bring his work home, he tries his hardest to keep the purest thing in his life away from the horrors and despair he sees everyday. He doesn’t want to put two and two together on this case, he doesn’t want to believe that this could all be because of him, all these victims, their lives ended early, simply because he decided to join the FBI those many years ago. It had happened before, Professor Rothschild back in 2009 and he doesn’t like to think about it, but Maeve was in the center of a case inspired by him as well. Spencer knows he’s overreacting, he knows he can’t blame himself, he didn’t kill those victims, and he didn’t force the hand of the unsubs, all he can do now is get some sleep so he can use his IQ of 187 to stop this son of a bitch, stop him from killing anyone else, ever. 

The sound of a stomach rumbling interrupts Spencer this time. 

“Spencer, when was the last time you ate? God knows how long its been since you slept and its probably been even longer since you ate. Tell me how long Spence, please.” Spencer looks down guiltily, knowing that Y/n is going to be mad when he utters his next words. 

“I don’t know um I’m having trouble remembering-“ Y/n’s face tells it all, the man with the eidetic memory can’t remember when the last time he ate was. “It was yesterday afternoon, there were bagels at the Las Vegas police station, terrible ones but I ate one of those, figured I shouldn’t be drinking five cups of coffee a day on an empty stomach.” 

“Yesterday afternoon? Spencer it’s 2:30 am!” 

“Okay so the day before yesterday afternoon I guess, sue me Y/n!” 

“Spencer Reid I know you aren’t trying to tell me you haven’t eaten in over 36 hours! You wouldn’t do that to me right? Sweetheart, you need food! What would you like?” Y/n notices that it’s strange, right now in this moment Spencer looks like a small child, shy and embarrassed. 

“Um, could you…make pancakes?” Spencer quietly asks. Y/n could laugh, Dr. Spencer Reid, renowned FBI agent who will walk into an interrogation room no problem, is scared to ask his significant other to make pancakes. 

“Pancakes is it? Sure thing sweetheart I’ll make pancakes.” 

“With chocolate chips?” Spencer adds.

“Now you’re pushing it.” Y/n retorts back with a giggle, beginning to make the batter, if Spencer hasn’t eaten in 36 hours he deserves better than some nasty boxed pancakes, that’s for sure. “So what happened next Spence?” 

17 hours earlier 

“Good morning Garcia, any information for us?” Luke asks in the morning. 

“Oh newbie how I wish it was a good morning, another victim has been taken, 43 year old Richard Saxons, his daughter reported him missing when she woke up to an empty house, hasn’t seen him since last night.” The team looks at each other with confused glances. 

“Another victim? But he hasn’t dumped the last victim yet, this is a major change in M.O., do we think the last victim is still alive, we need to rethink this.” Emily explains. 

“Okay why a lobotomy? That can’t be the easiest way of killing the victims.” Matt asks.  

“Here’s the thing, this unsub isn’t necessarily meaning to kill the victims. Lobotomies began in the 1880s when Swiss physician Gottlieb Burkhardt removed parts of the cortex of the brains of patients with auditory hallucinations and other symptoms of schizophrenia. Later in 1935 Portuguese neurologist Antonio Egas Moniz is credited with inventing the lobotomy. There are numerous negative effects and since the procedure literally involves drilling into the brain to slice up pieces of the frontal lobes, if it isn’t performed by a doctor there’s a very high mortality rate.” Spencer of course rattles off. 

“That makes sense with what the medical examiner told us, the lobotomies were crudely done but there was no reason to believe the unsub is a sadist, no signs of torture, the bodies were often dumped with what could be taken as remorse.” Rossi adds. 

“Okay so we’re looking at an unsub who’s trying to cure these victims of their schizophrenia.” Tara states. 

“We need to deliver the profile.” 

“We believe our unsub is a white male of medium build, we believe this because all victims have been caucasian and although there have been cases of serial killers crossing racial lines, overwhelming statistics show he’s most likely white.” Luke begins, 

“He has come into contact with all eight victims including the two currently missing, he knew all of them suffered from schizophrenia and were recently released, he waited until they were no longer patients at the hospital , meaning he most likely has a close connection to Bennington Sanitarium and could be tied back to the crimes, if he works at the hospital it puts him between the ages of 25 and 50, he could be the janitor, a cook, any job like that.” 

“We don’t believe he has official medical training because the manner by which the lobotomies were performed lacks the professionalism a doctor could use, but he also demonstrates knowledge of schizophrenia and lobotomies in general, which shows he isn’t dumb, most likely can hold down a job.” 

“Important as well, we don’t believe this unsub necessarily means to kill the victims, he is attempting to help cure these victims of their schizophrenic symptoms, he may have experienced a loss caused by mental health issues or believes the treatment each of the victims received was inadequate.” Tara finishes the profile, all of the team stepping back into the other room. 

“Hey Garcia you’re on speaker with the whole team here” Rossi answers his phone, 

“Hey guys, this is just getting more and more strange, I finally got into the hospital records, it really seemed as though someone was hacking me from the inside, but I finally got in and here’s the kicker, all of the records of the victims have been deleted, who would even have access for that.” Garcia says. 

“Okay we’ll looks into that Garcia, can you start looking at anyone who fits our profile, has access to the records at Bennington, and has purchased items needed to perform an at-home lobotomy in bulk over the last few months, if the missing woman has somehow survived, this unsub needs at least elementary medical equipment in order to keep her alive, hopefully we’ll see it in his credit history.” Spencer instructs to Garcia before Rossi hangs up the phone. 

“You know who might have some knowledge about all of this, that guy from the hospital, I know the Dr. osaid he’s only worked there a few months but maybe he’s seen something, or maybe he’s noticed someone snooping around the online files, we need to go back to the hospital, Spence lets go.” Emily says. 

“So Dr., you’re saying Mr. Robbins hasn’t been to work since you sent him home when we were here last? That’s odd. What did you say his name was again?” 

“Anthony Robbins, like I said before, he’s an odd guy but does good work, no one around here knows him that well though.” Spencer and Emily nod their heads to each other before Emily calls Garcia, 

“Garcia I need a background check on an Anthony Robbins, stat, and send Rossi and Luke to his house, we need to talk to this guy fast, he knows something.” 

“Agents, are you thinking he could have anything to do with this? I can’t imagine Mr. Robbins doing any harm to any one, especially not the patients at this hospital, he is always the kindest to them, the schizophrenia patients in particular.” Another call from Garcia interrupts Emily and Spencer before they can answer. 

“Things are starting to look a little weird, Anthony Robbins, 37 years old, native of Las Vegas, was born to Linda and Christian Robbins, he had a happy childhood, no signs of trauma or abuse that I can see. He doesn’t have a record, juvie or adult, but his life did change when he was 10.” 

“What happened then Garcia.” 

“Reid stop interrupting me, you know how I like to tell my dramatic story. When Robbins was 10 his 7 year old brother Charlie was diagnosed with schizophrenia, when he was 18 he was put into care at a mental hospital, not Bennington but a close by hospital.” 

“Any interest in alternative schizophrenia treatments?” 

“As a matter of fact my dear genius yes, Robbins has been publishing articles for years, and I’m looking at his recent purchases right now, Robbins has been purchasing health care equipment as well as tools needed for an at-home lobotomy, Anthony Robbins is your unsub.”

“Hey Rossi, change of plans, the guy’s our unsub. You sure? Alright you guys stay there in case he comes back, the guy must have a secondary location.” Emily says before hanging up her phone. “Alright Reid that was Rossi and Luke, Robbins isn’t at home and it looks like he left in a hurry, there’s gotta be somewhere else he’s working, Rossi also said he wouldn’t be able to hold anybody in that tiny apartment, there’s no room and neighbors would hear.” 

“Okay let’s think, we profiled he may have suffered some sort of loss. Garcia do you see any type of loss in this guy’s recent history.” 

“Charlie Robbins, his schizophrenic brother, died two months ago.” 

“That’s right before the murders started, that’s gotta be the stressor.” 

“Garcia what hospital was the brother treated at?” 

“Uh, it looks like a place called Smith Sanitarium, he was there was there for almost 20 years.” 

“Smith! I know where that is, it’s scheduled for demolition actually, closed down about a month ago and has been abandoned since, it’s only about a 15 minute drive.” 

“That’s the secondary location, let’s go Reid.” Emily says, the two agents rushing out of the room. 

“Spence, the pancakes are ready.” Y/n says, pouring syrup over the stack, just the way Spencer always likes them. 

“Thank you so much Y/n, I don’t deserve you. I know talking about the case is supposed to make me feel better but I just feel like an idiot. I mean, he was right there the first day we were at the hospital, it was so obvious, why didn’t I see it?” 

“Spencer stop that right now, you can’t blame yourself for any of it, you met that man for less than a minute when your mind was focused on researching the victims, there was nothing about him that should have screamed 'mad scientist performing lobotomies to mourn the loss of his recently deceased schizophrenic brother’, you can’t blame yourself.” Y/n reassures her boyfriend while reaching up to rub his shoulder. He begins eating the pancakes in front of him, groaning slightly at the taste of food after going so long without eating. 

“I love you Y/n, not just because you’re amazing at making pancakes, seriously these are so good, but because you somehow always know how to make me feel better.” 

“That’s my job babe, personal pancake chef and make-Spencer-Reid-feel-better specialist, now tell me what happened next, it seems like you’re almost at the end.” 

10 hours earlier 

“Alright Reid, the rest of the team and Las Vegas police are on their way and will meet us as soon as they can, but you and I are going to be on the scene first, they’re significantly further away than we are, we’ll have to wait for them of course, this man may not be meaning to kill his victims, but he’s killed at least 6 people nevertheless.” Emily says, driving as fast as she can through Las Vegas towards the abandoned mental hospital, Reid quietly looking out the window. Emily is strapping her vest on when she sees Reid walking towards the hospital alone. 

“Reid, no! I told you, we need to wait for backup, it’s too dangerous!” 

“Emily you know how much I respect you, but there’s two victims in there and if they’re on the brink of death, an extra 10 minutes is not something we have, I’m going in.” 

“Damnit Reid” Emily whispers before running after him.

“Anthony Robbins, FBI put your hands up”, Reid loudly speaks as he walks into the hospital with his gun in the air, immediately seeing two victims in chains. 

“Dr. Reid, I’m so happy you’re here! Let’s put the gun down so I can show you the medical masterpiece I have accomplished.” Mr. Robbins says while holding what looks like a grenade in his hand. 

“Mr. Robbins I know you think you’re doing what’s right, but this isn’t what your brother would have wanted, these people did not ask for this, they were doing well with the medication, now I need you to put down the grenade and let these people go.” Sirens can be heard from outside and Emily appears behind Reid as well, noticing the grenade in the unsub’s hand, but Reid’s eyes are completely focused on the female victim, a woman with extreme similarity to his own mother. 

“It’s such a shame Dr. Reid, I thought you of all people would understand, seeing as you went to Mexico to research alternative medication for your own schizophrenic mother.” 

“That was different Mr. Robbins, I was attempting to research homeopathic remedies for dementia, not performing life-threatening surgeries on mentally ill adults.” Emily can tell that Spencer is getting angry, this case being too close to his personal life, they should be stroking this guy’s ego, not angering him. 

“Mr. Robbins, Emily Prentiss here, I think what you have done is magnificent! I actually want you to come with us, the rest of the world needs to see this!” 

“No, too late, Dr. Reid doesn’t appreciate my genius, so no one will be allowed to. Sorry, agents.” The man says before dropping the grenade. Emily grabs Reid, pulling him out of the hospital while he’s screaming, still not taking his eyes off the female victim. They make it out of the hospital just as it explodes, Reid staring back into the burning building in disbelief while Emily looks at the rest of the team, shaking her head. 

At this point in the story Spencer’s voice cracks, tears start welling in his eyes. “I should’ve saved them, it was completely my fault. He was a classic unsub with a god complex and I did exactly what they teach you NOT to do. I let my emotions get in the way and three people died because of it.” Spencer gets out before he starts crying completely. Y/n enveloping him in a hug and allowing him to cry into her shoulder. 

“Oh Spence, shh, it’s okay, that was not your fault. That man was holding a grenade, did you force his hand? Tell him to kill those victims, no.” 

“But we should’ve been able to save them, we profiled him exactly right, and I ruined it all by raising my voice at him, plus I didn’t wait for the backup we needed, I was too focused on saving a woman who reminded me of my mom.” 

“Spencer Reid, I need you to listen to me right now, look at me, okay, you can do that right? Look at me sweetheart.” Spencer lifts his head to look at Y/n, his teary eyes matching her sympathetic ones filled with love. “You, Spencer Reid, are a hero. You’re my hero, you’re a hero for your team, and you’re the hero of all the people you save every single day. Today was not a good day, but how many victims would that man have killed if your team hadn’t intervened. Today you didn’t save everyone, but if you stop now, you’ll never save anyone ever again.” Spencer and Y/n sit at the table holding hands in silence for longer than either of them care to count, before Y/n hears soft snores, realizing Spencer has fallen asleep in her arms, exhausted from the past days and the emotional release of reliving it all in their kitchen. “Come on Spence, let’s go to bed” Y/n gently shakes him awake and helps him to their bed, knowing that what Spencer needs is a good night’s sleep and a lot of love, which she is more than happy to give him, for the rest of her life even. 

[toutallyahoe]

Flirt ~ Shinsō Hitoshi (BNHA)

Requested By: --

A/N: this'll be a series but my dear gremlins... pray to a god that ill actually follow through the fucking outline i have written and have the motivation to write because lmao

also, wowowow bnha yall? and here i thought i outgrew my weeb phase but guess not! now, dont spoil me shit please because i still have no clue what the fuck is happening in the fandom since i havent touched any anime for fucking months (well, except me watching four episodes of free! two weeks ago but shhhhhh) so dont fucking be cunt to spoil, yeah? lmao thanks and enjoy this shit ajsvdjskdbjsb

fun fact, this was supposed to be only 500-800 words but GUESS WHO GOT TOO INTO THIS SHIT AND WRITTEN 3600 PLUS WORDS YALL?!?!?!?!?

Flirt | Flirt 2 | Flirt 3

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Hitoshi let out a tired sigh leaving his lips as he shoves his hands on the pockets of his hoodie. A frown on his lips as he tried to hide his face inside the purple scarf wrapped around his neck, hiding away from the cold breeze passing by.

It was a cold day, that can be said and Hitoshi wished to just stay in his warm bed while being cocooned with his comforters and blankets to keep him from suffering the cold air of January while sleeping probably until noon, if he was lucky that is and not have his mom wake him up. Sadly, Hitoshi was asked by his one (and only) friend to meet up and hang out and the indigo haired knew that no matter how many times he flat out disagrees, the [Hair color] haired male always was a stubborn one. And once he makes up his mind, he'll drag Hitoshi along with him.

"This better be worth it," Hitoshi grumbled as he was still angry to leave the comforts of his bed and warm room to be outside with the January air being cold and having no clue where he was. With a sigh, Hitoshi remembered how [Name], his friend, basically begged him to accompany him to the new cafe that opened. Hitoshi would have flat out reject the [Hair color] haired male if it wasn't for [Name]'s four words he uttered yesterday.

It was a cloudy, Friday morning. The first period was over and each class has a ten minute break before the next teacher comes in to discuss whatever subject they had planned for the young minds of each of their classes. Hitoshi distinctly remembered that the next period teacher was absent for today and with that knowledge, the indigo haired male decided to spend the ten minute break and aswell as the next period doing something important. Sleeping.

The indigo haired male suffered from the lack of sleep. With his hectic sleep schedule and insomia just kicking in, Hitoshi has limited amount of sleep and it can be known with the large bags underneathe his eyes. It doesn't help that he had to finish some homework his teachers had pilled up to them. So, Hitoshi decided he'll sleep than study or chatter with his classmates like the others are currently doing. The indigo haired male let out a sigh and he positioned himself to be comfortable on his seat and plopped his arms on his desk and was about to slam his head onto his arms when a loud bang echoed inside the room.

Due to the loud noise, it made a lot of students shriek in fear and stopped whatever they were doing and snapped their heads on where the loud noise was heard. The loud bang they heard was from door of the classroom slammed open with so much forced that some pondered how the hinges of the door was still intact. But what everyone focused was the figure stood there, clad in the familiar clothing of the male's uniform of the school although the uniform was now wrinkled here and there and the student's hair was messy and all over. His hand was gripping the doorknob tightly as the student was panting harshly and gasping for air, indicating that he had did something to actd that way, and everyone knew it was running.

"HITOSHI!!!" The figure screamed when be had gathered his bearings and immediately, everyone recognized that it was none other than the school's resident ray of sunshine, [Name] [Last name].

[Name] stood tall and proud when he finished gasping for air. Wiping the sweat off his forehead as he sent a beaming smile to everyone as he frantically looked around the room but then his gaze directed to the said male he screamed their name out.

"Hito-chan!" [Name] had happily called out to the indigo haired male as skipped inside the indigo haired male's classroom. Not minding the lively chatter that comtinued before he interrupted from the other students that were still inside the room nor the way their eyes following him approaching the indigo haired male that everyone enjoyed to avoid like the plague. As [Name] was close, he immediately threw himself to Hitoshi and hugged the male who gave him an unimpressive stare with his actions.

"Let's go out together this saturday!" [Name] suggested as he smiled at his friend who he felt slumped on his arms, clearly lazy and tired. "I found this new cafe and I think you'll like this one!" He had happily said as Hitoshi grunted on his arms.

"No," Hitoshi bluntly disagreed and shoved [Name] away from him. Hitoshi's surprising actions made [Name] let out a yelp and almost stumbled back. It doesn't help that the realization hit him on the indigo haired male's answer, he frowned for a second but then jumped back to his childish attitude. Hitoshi did not mind his friend's sputtering on his answer as he prompted his arms on his desk and placed his head on them. "And stop calling me that!" Hitoshi grunted as he closed his eyes as the indigo haired male wanted to sleep for a bit before the break was over.

"Huh?!? But why?!?" [Name] pouted and whined as he looked at Hitoshi. The indigo haired male let out a groan when he felt the [Hair color] haired male shake him by the shoulders.

"Hito-chan! Don't just sleep on me!" [Name] whined to his indigo haired friend in annoyance. "Tell me why!"

Hitoshi grumbled incoherent words to himself as he raised his head and opened his eyes to glare at his friend who still was shaking his shoulders. "Stop being immature, idiot," Hitoshi grumbled ad he rolled his eyes at his friend's childish and immature actions on puffing his cheek and crossing his arms over his chest, acting like a toddler being mad.

"Am not!" [Name] grumbled as he then pouted. "Why are you such a meanie, Hito-chan... and answer my question!" He whined as Hitoshi rolled his eyes again. Christ, why was he friends with [Name] again? Who even says meanie as an insult anymore other than four and five years old?

"Because I said so," came Hitoshi's blunt answer which made the [Hair color] haired male whine louder. [Name] frowned as he looked at Hitoshi who did not paid mind to him and was about to lay his head on his arms again to try and sleep.

"Come on Hito-chan!" [Name] had begged as he drop down on his knees and kneeled down beside sitting form of his best friend. His hand cupped together in front him as he gave his best puppy dog eyes to his indigo haired best friend who didn't even looked at him. "Please, Hitoshi?" He begged, using Hitoshi's proper name and not the one he calls to the indigo haired male. "I promise you'll enjoy this one!" [Name] pleaded.

Hitoshi narrowed his purple eyes and took a glance at his [Hair color] haired friend who was still in the floor, kneeling and trying to coerce him with his puppy dog eyes that was definitely NOT working. Hitoshi sighs as his ears picked up the sound of chattering surrounding him. 'Right, we're still in class... this is so embarrassing...' Hitoshi grumbled on his thoughts as he closed his eyes.

"Please Hitoshi!" [Name] shouted when the indigo haired male was too silent for his liking. As the [Hair color] haired male stayed there on the ground, not moving from his kneeling position. Hitoshi thought over his words on hanging out together on Saturday. After a few more seconds, Hitoshi finally made his final decision.

"No," came Hitoshi's final and blunt reply. Still unchanging despite the [Hair color] male's efforts on pleading and begging for him to consider.

"Hitoshi!" [Name] cried out as he whined at the indigo haired male who went back to placing his head on his arms to get some sleep.

"I'll pay for everything!" [Name] had said. It seemed like those were the magic words as he saw the indigo haired male crack one eye open to look at him. There was a hum from the tired male as [Name] begged to whatever deities listening to him currently that they would give him some good karma and bless him to have his friend accompany him.

As [Name] begged some higher beings to make the indigo haired male reconsider his answer, Hitoshi thought about it again. Was it worth waking up early to meet up with the [Hair color] haired male? Was it worth not getting some much needed sleep just to hang out with this male who Hitoshi swore doesn't know what quietness or silence is?

"... fine..." Hitoshi grumbled out his agreement as what is more better than food? Free food and Hitoshi will make sure the [Hair color] haired male will have an empty wallet after tomorrow. Hitoshi saying his agreement had closed his eyes again and tried to get some sleep. Not minding [Name] immediately stood up from his kneeling position and fist pumped the air while screaming "yeah!" in excitement.

Hitoshi sighs as he stopped walking and looked around the area he was in. The indigo haired frowned and looked at the sky in annoyance, he then looked back around again and tried to remember if he was in the right place on where his [Hair color] haired friend was supposed to join him to take him to the cafe he was obsessing on taking Hitoshi there. Tapping his shoe in annoyance at the pavement, Hitoshi let out a tired sigh as he then took his phone out from his hoodie's pocket and unlocked it. Pressing on the massaging icon, the indigo haired male immediately pressed the very top of the messages with the familair name displayed and he began typing, rather annoyedly as he did.

TO: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

FROM: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

where are you?

[08:22 AM]

Hitoshi typed and sent it when done as he stood and looked arpund again. He was standing in the sidewalk from a busy street where people, young and old walk around and minding their own business. On some occasions, Hitoshi would see some people with unique quirks. The indigo haired male had to hold his sjort when he saw a businessman with a head shaped like a cactus. As Hitoshi looked around and waited for his [Hair color] haired friend, his phone vibrated on his hand. His screen lit up, indicating it recieved something to have its user be notified. And the indigo haired male saw the sender's name which made Hitoshi let out a tired sigh.

Idiot (◕ω◕✿) sent (3) messages

Hitoshi opened his inbox and tapped the most recent messages that he received and the indigo haired male saw what his friend had replied. If he can, Hitoshi would have liked to slap [Name] when he saw the messages.

TO: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

FROM: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

IM SORRY FOR BEING LATE HITOSHI!!! .·´¯'(>□<)´¯'·

[08:27 AM]

I OVERSLEPT AND I HAD TO FEED TOSHI \(๑>д<๑)/

[08:27 AM]

DONT WORRY IM ON THE TRAIN GOING THERE ASDFGHJKLL ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ

[08:28 AM]

The indigo haired male stared at his screen for a moment as he then raised one of his hand and slapped it on his forehead. "My God... [Name]..." Hitoshi grumbled underneath his breathe as he began to type his reply.

TO: Idiot (◕ω◕✿)

FROM: Hito-chan♡ (눈_눈)

hurry up idiot

[08:32 AM]

or else im leaving

[08:33 AM]

After sending those two text, Hitoshi immediately gotten a reply and he didn't have to look at the screen of his phone which displayed the messages to know that his [Hair color] haired friend was whining at him on being a 'meanie' and begging him not to ditch [Name].

Not a few seconds later, Hitoshi's phone vibrated. The indigo haired let out an annoyed grunt as he tap the green icon to receive the call from [Name] as he then placed the phone on his ear. Hitoshi winced and had to hurriedly pull his phone away from his ear with how loud [Name] was on the other line.

"HITO-CHAN!!! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!!" [Name] cried out on the indigo haired male's phone. Hitoshi had to gather his bearings from the [Hair color] haired male's voice. Hitoshi swore that [Name] sometimes had that loud pro-hero's voice, Present Mic. Both being incredibly loud and their voices goes annoying real fast.

"HITO-CHAN PLEASE WAIT FOR ME!!! IM ALMOST THERE!!!" Hitoshi let out series of grumbles as he listened to [Name] beg for him to wait. Hitoshi wonders why he even bother with his friend. Looking around, Hitoshi noticed he was getting some looks, from judgmental, curious to annoyed ones. It made the indigo haired embarrassed.

"Keep quiet," Hitoshi hissed as he felt heat creeping in on his cheeks from the looks of passersby he was getting from the loud [Hair color] haired male on his phone. "I'll wait but just... shut up, idiot," Hitoshi grumbled as he heard [Name] thanked him profusely on the other line. The indigo haired male rolled his eyes at his friend's attitude and had to stop himself from snorting when he heard [Name] getting scolded on the other line from how loud he was. 'Idiot...'

"A-ah! I'm so sorry for the disturbance!" Hitoshi heard his [Hair color] haired friend apologize. There was another voice piping on the other line aswell as shuffling. The indigo haired wondered where his friend was. 'He said he was close?' Hitoshi thought. 'But he also said that he was still in the train...'

Hitoshi was about to end the call when [Name] continued talking, more quietly than before. "Hey, Hito-chan?" [Name] had called out. The said male hummed to show he was listening as Hitoshi looked around the area again to see people walking pass by him.

"Yeah?"

"I... well..." Hitoshi raised his brow at his friends uncharacteristic hesitation but the indigo haired nale did not mind. The indigo haired male knew that [Name] always goes head first in situations and did not think about it. Hitoshi found that attitude of his to be stupid really but [Name] was [Name], and his friend always gets it in the end. "Thank you for being my friend..."

Hitoshi paused. Gripping his phone tightly, there was a smile on his lips as he rolled his eyes at the [Hair color] haired male's words.

"Yeah... sure... whatever, idiot..."

Hitoshi looked at the time on his phone and let out an annoyed sigh when he saw it was twenty-two minutes after [Name] had called him and ended the call with the [Hair color] haired male promising he was close by already.

'Yeah right... close my ass...' Hitoshi thought as he bit his bottom. The male was still not here and it made Hitoshi regretted leaving his bed more than ever. 'At least he should've have the decency to come in time...'

Hitoshi swears that when he sees his friend, he'll slap the [Hair color] haired male for being late. The indigo haired male knew that he will make his friend buy the most expensive stuff in this cafe they were going so [Name] will regret inviting him and being late. But either way, Hitoshi liked watching the cars and people passed by, the indigo haired male just wished it wasn't so goddamn cold and that he was actually sitting than standing like a dumbass in the middle of the sidewalk as he waited for his friend.

Looking at his phone again, Hitoshi decided to pass the time by playing games on his phones. It was already twenty-six minutes since the call and despite [Name] assuring him that he'll be there, he still wasn't and Hitoshi did not want to think what made his friend so late. He knew [Name] always had a terrible skills in time management. The [Hair color] haired male can either be ten minutes early or twenty minutes late, there is no inbetween and the indigo haired male wished [Name] was the former for atleast this outing but it seemed like lady luck was not on his side. Well, when was she always on his side? She never was as he grew up anyways. Having born with a villaino--

"HITO-CHAN!!!"

"GAH!!!" Hitoshi almost dropped his phone and would have been thrown to the ground if he had not steadied himself on time. That still not prevented the indigo haired male to be scared out of his wits and a frightened scream leaving his lips when he felt a body colliding behind him aswell as weight distributed on his back and arms wrapped around his neck, tighly.

"Hito-chan!" The said male let out quiet curses as he turned to look behind him to see the male he was waiting shining him a beaming smile. "Hito-chan! Im so glad you didn't ditch me," [Name] had said as he nuzzled his face on the other male's cheek.

Hitoshi felt his face burned in embarrassment from his best friend's affectionate gesture. And not to mention [Name] was being so close to him in public. Hitoshi's cheeks were painted a light shade of pink flush as he turned his head the other way from his friend.

"I almost did..." Hitoshi muttered as [Name] guffawed at his answer with his [Eye color] eyes widen from Hitoshi's words. "Now... g-get off me idiot!" Hitoshi had exclaimed as he tried to push his friend away but [Name] whined at him.

"Hito-chan!" The [Hair color] haired whined in a childish way. "Don't be mean!"

"Idiot! Just-- get off me! It's embarrassing," Hitoshi retorted as the [Hair color] haired male pouted but complied with his words. Not without one last whine about the indigo haired male being so cold towards him which amde Hitoshi roll his eyes at his words.

"Whatever..." Hitoshi had said as he adjusted the scarf of his neck and avoided his [Hair color] haired friend's eyes as [Name] turned to look at him with a bright smile.

"Here you go Hito-chan!" The [Hair color] haired male had pushed a white plastic bag towards the indigo haired male's chest. His actions made Hitoshi turned to look at him with surprise on his face as he took the bag. [Name] still had that smile on his lips as he looked at Hitoshi.

"What... what's this?" Hitoshi asked, confused as he looked down on the white blastic bag on his hand. Hitoshi heard [Name] awkwardly laughed as the [Hair color] haired male rubbed the nape of his neck. If Hitoshi would have looked, he would have saw the soft pink flush on [Name]'s [Skin color] cheeks.

"Ah, well..." [Name] had started as he awkwardly coughed onto his fist. "I knew I would be really late so I... kinda decided to stop at this small shop near here to buy you an apology gift..." He had explained as Hitoshi looked up towards him again then back at the bag. [Name] flashed Hitoshi a grin, silently urging his indigo haired friend to see what's inside the plastic. "Hope you'll like it Hito-chan."

Hitoshi opened the plastic and had one of his hand to reached inside. There was something small and round. That's what Hitoshi had felt and with curiosity swallowing him whole, the indigo haired male pulled it out. Hitoshi couldn't help but softly smile. On his hand, it was a small keychain. The keychain was shaped like a cat with its paint being purple and had a droppy eyes. There was a small mischievous grin on the cat's face as it stood in two legs while one of its paw was raised to signify it was waving. Oddly enough, Hitoshi thought the small cat was to signify it was him.

"When I saw that... it kinda reminded me of you..." [Name] confessed.

[Name]'s comment made Hitoshi feel something inside. It was sweet, Hitoshi could not lie as he looked at the purple cat keychain on his hand. His [Hair color] haired friend thought of him when he bought this. Maybe he'll not rob [Name] off of his money for being late when they get to this cafe. It made Hitoshi feel happy--

"I mean... it had Hito-chan's tired, grinning face!" Scratch that. [Name] was still the dumbass that he was and the indigo haired male is going to order every expensive stuff to leave him broke.

Hitoshi turned to look at [Name] and would start to nag the [Hair color] haired male's ear off when the male had reached down and took his unoccupied hand and began to walk away, dragging Hitoshi with a smile on his face.

"Now, come on Hito-chan!" [Name] had said. His tone excited and happy as he looked forward and not looking at Hitoshi who walked behind him, a bit dumbfounded from his actions on just dragging him along. "The cafe is a few blocks away from here!"

"You could've had sent me the damn address so I could've waited inside..." Hitoshi bit his bottom lip and rolled his eyes. He tightly held the keychain on his hand as he caught up to his friend's pace.

Now, the indigo haired male walked side by side with the [Hair color] haired male who if Hitoshi would've looked, the indigo haired male would have saw the soft smile on his lips and a pink hue on his cheeks as they walked together towards the direction of the cafe in [Name]'s lead, hand in hand. And if [Name] would've looked at Hitoshi, the [Hair color] haired male would have saw Hitoshi held a small soft smile on his lips.

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NEXT >

[littlemissaddict]

Sick Day

Summary: Luke fakes an illness to stay off school to work on a report he forgot about. (Requested)

Word Count: 1.9K

A/n: To the anon that requested I’m sorry this took so long it ended up being longer than planned but I hope this is what you were looking for.

Monday mornings, Luke hated them with a passion. It wasn’t because he had to get up early, that he could deal with, it was that it was the start of a new week which meant that he had five full days of school ahead of him. That was what he hated. He hated being stuck in a place he didn’t want to be, learning things that he couldn’t care less about and it wasn’t like he couldn’t do the work either, he could, his grades were good. The only reason he hadn’t dropped out yet, other than the fact that he thinks his parents would freak out if he did, was that Julie had convinced him to stay and well he couldn’t say no to Julie. Alex and Reggie liked to joke about it, once even accused him of being whipped because he couldn’t say no, that had left a lot of embarrassment on his part but what could he do, he loved Julie and he would do anything to make her happy, even if it meant sticking it out at school for the next year or two.

“Luke, Luke” 

He groaned hearing his mom call his name, it was the same every morning, she would make sure that he was ready for school before she left for work. Her head popped round his bedroom door not long after that.

“Good you’re awake. I’m having to leave early for work today so please make sure you’re on time today. I really don’t want another call from the school telling me you’re not there” she says and he nods in response. She watches him for a second longer before say goodbye and heading out to work. Luke waits until he hears the front door close before he pulls himself out of bed and heads to the bathroom. Half an hour later Luke’s grabbing his bag and heading out the door, he’s running a little late but he’ll make it on time. He hopes.

He makes it to his locker just as the bell for first lesson rings, grabbing his books and heading to class. He slides into his seat in record time without so much as a warning from the teacher, which is a bonus. The whole morning seems to drag, he spends most of his lessons in a daze, his mind wandering to the song him and Julie were working on over the weekend. He was thankful when the bell went for lunch, packing up his books and practically sprinting out of the room where he found Reggie waiting for him by the door.

“Hey man, where were you this morning?” he asked falling into stride with Luke as they made their way to the cafeteria.

“I was running late” he said simply and Reggie nodded, it wasn’t a secret that Luke didn’t like school but he knew Luke wouldn’t go back on his promise to Julie. Once there they grabbed some food and headed over to where Alex, Julie and Flynn were sat, they where having a discussion about some report they all had due and Luke didn’t think much of it until her heard that it was due for their English class.

“What hold up since when did we have a English report due?” he asked no one in particular but he hoped one of them would have the answer, they all stared at him in disbelief.

“Please tell me you’re joking?” Flynn asks but Luke just shakes his head.

“Luke it’s due Friday, we’ve had about two months to work on this” Alex says, still not quite believing that Luke managed to forget about it.

“Well I suppose I’ll just have to work on it tonight, it shouldn’t take that long right” he grumbles and he hears Alex gasp beside him.

“Luke you can’t just throw something together and hope for the best like you usually do. It’s worth half of your grade” Alex tells him and that’s when Luke begins to panic. He knows his parents have been off his back lately about the band because he hasn’t been skipping school and because his grades are up so he really needs to do well on this report. He’s so caught up in his thoughts that he flinches when he feels a hand rest against his arm but when he looks down he see’s that it’s Julie and he relaxes a little. 

“It’s gonna be okay Luke, have you at least read the book?” she asks softly, he nods confirming that he has and she smiles “good that’s most of the work done, how about I come round tonight I can help you plan it and then you can spend the next couple of nights after school working on it” she says and Luke lets out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you Julie” he says giving her a quick hug before joining the conversation with the rest of the group.  After his last class of the day he meets Julie by her locker.

“We still good for tonight?” he asks making her jump as she hadn’t realised he was there.

“Every time, really Luke” she moans making Luke chuckle “and yes, I’ve messaged my dad to let him know that I’m going over to yours so as long as I’m back for dinner it’s all good” she smiles closing her locker and they make their way to Luke’s.

When they get to Luke’s, he call out to him mom to let her know that Julie’s there and they’re going up to his room to study, he doesn’t wait for a reply just heads up the stairs with Julie following. When they reach his room he drops his bag by his desk and then flops down on his bed making Julie laugh at how dramatic he’s being, she perches on the edge of the bed, careful not to sit on the boy as she pulls her book out of her bag. 

“So we should probably talk about what you remember of the book the you can decide what you wanna write about” Julie suggests and Luke sits up reluctantly agreeing. They talk about the book for the next hour, discussing the different parts and what they mean or what they think they imply and Luke makes sure to make notes because he’s only going to forget it all when he comes to write the report.

“Hey that would make a good lyric” Luke says interrupting Julie as she speaks, explaining one of her points about the book.

“No Luke, just write it down and move on you don’t have time for this” Julie warns, knowing that as soon as he gets distracted it’s very hard to get him back on track and she wants to make sure he’s got this. Luke grumbles but does it anyway not wanting to annoy Julie when she’s offered to help him.

Julie’s dad picks her up around 6 just before Luke’s mom calls him to let him know that dinner is ready, he eats dinner with his parents and they ask him how school is going. He makes sure not to tell them about him forgetting about the report knowing that it’ll only cause an argument, that they’ll blame it on him spending to much time focusing on the band. After dinner he goes back up to his room to make a start, he pulls out his notes feeling much better than he did at lunch but he knows he’s got a lot to do and he doesn’t think that he’ll be able to finish it in time. That is when he comes up with a plan, a plan involving him to fake sick so that he can spend the day off school to work on the report, he knows his dad will have gone to work already by the time he gets up so it’s just his mom that he needs to convince.

He wakes the next morning and he’s nervous, he really hopes this plan is going to work because there’s a lot riding on him finishing this report. Like clock work his mom pops her head round his door to check that he’s up and ready.

“Luke what’re you doing you’ve got school” She scolds when she sees that he’s still in bed.

“Mmm but I’m not feeling too good” he says, his voice small, he’s laying it on thick as he peaks at her from under the duvet, only his head visible. She makes her way towards him, sitting on the edge of the bed as she rests the back of her hand against his forehead.

“Well you do feel quite warm and your face is flushed, I do hope your not coming down with anything” she say more to herself than him “I guess you can have today off, see how you feel but I expect you back at school tomorrow if this turns out to be nothing” she sighs closing the door on the way out of his room. He waits until he hears the front door close before moving over to his desk where he switches his laptop on and sends a text to the group chat letting them know that he won’t be in school while he waits for it to load.

Pulling out his notes he places them on the desk next to him, silently cursing himself for his own bad handwriting when he can’t quite make out what he’s written. Still he makes a start, trying his hardest to stay focused. He manages to work for nearly the whole morning before he feels like he’s losing his mind, looking between his notes and the laptop he runs his hands through his hair, tugging slightly in frustration. If only he hadn’t forgotten about this stupid report then he wouldn’t be in this situation right now he sighs reminding himself to relax, stressing is not going to help anything. After a few deep breaths he gets up stretching out his body as he’s been sat hunched over the laptop all morning before he heads to the kitchen in search of food.

Hunger settled, he heads back to his room to carry on working on the report but he finds a message from Julie telling him that she will come over after school to see how he’s doing. He smiles at the text and finds it gives him enough motivation for him to keep on working.

By the time Julie gets to Luke’s house after school Luke has almost finished and he can’t be happier, he’s worked hard all day so he’s happy to have break and he can’t think of any better way to spend it than with Julie.

“So you weren’t really ill were you?” Julie questions taking a seat on Luke’s bed, watching him by his desk.

“No” he admits looking at her sheepishly “I um I was working on the report instead. I didn’t think I’d get it done just working on it after school so” he explains and Julie nods.

“Well let’s just hope your mom doesn’t find out” she says raising her eyebrows at him and he pulls a face at her words, yeah that’s definitely the last thing he wants. She doesn’t stay long after that as she wants to get home before Luke’s mom does so that she doesn’t have to explain why she’s there when he’s supposed to be ill. 

When Friday rolls around Luke surprises his friends by not only being early for school but by handing his report in, on time, as well and he can’t help keep the smug smile on his face at the looks of disbelief on their faces.

[londonsquitebiggg]

The One -Chapter 2

^^college campus^^^^

Krista’s POV,

After school I headed home and did the usual, helped mom cook dinner, talked with my parents about our days. My dad asked me about Harry and his friends whose names I didn't know. I blushed profusely at the mention of his name, not wanting to be drawn back in to the thoughts I had about him... they weren't the most appropriate which isn't okay because he is obviously not my mate because he would have said something to me, right?

Either way I shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts about him.. especially because I've never had such vulgar thoughts about any guy no matter how hot they were. Not to mention I'm supposed to be focusing on the fact that I'm going to have my first shift in two days, plus it will be my birthday and we'll have a huge party.

You see, in the werewolf community your eighteenth birthday is the same amount of excitement humans get on their twenty-first birthday. Just instead of getting to drink and become an "adult". It's when we shift for the first time and we get our wolf, we get to start our training, and not to forget we can start searching for our mates.

With me being the Alphas oldest child it's a pretty big deal. My parents are throwing a HUGE party. Inviting every pack member to show off their pride and joy of a daughter coming of age. Once I shift and find my mate, they will take over the Alpha position from my father and ill become our packs Luna.

"Krista, sweetie did you hear anything that I just said?!" My father exclaimed, frustrated that I was not listening to what he was saying.

"Sorry daddy I was just lost in my thoughts. I'm really nervous for my shift." Was my response knowing that he was go easier on me knowing that I was scared. You see I've always been a daddy's girl. My dad and I have always been super close, he wants me to know everything there is about being a good leader and person.

"I was just saying that we should invite Harry and his pack mates to your birthday party. Might be a good opportunity for them to find their mates seeing as our whole pack will be in one place?" Daddy responded.

My breath caught in my throat and the thought of them being there, him being there, making it a lot easier to find out if he is my mate.

"That is a great idea! Would you like me to ask them or would you like to relay the message?" I asked, hoping he would leave it up to me so I would have an excuse to talk to him again.

"You can do it, I do believe that Harry is supposed to be coming over tomorrow afternoon so that I could catch up with him. I haven't seen him under non-pack related circumstances since his mother and Robin got married. But seeing as you'll see him before me and it is your party, I think you should be the one to invite them and show they are welcome here." Was his response as we all finished and mom started cleaning off the table.

After being excused from dinner I decided to retire to my room for the remainder of the evening. I started reading over the notes I had taken today and going over the semester notes before changing into my pajamas, washing my face, brushing my teeth and heading to bed. Not being able to keep a certain brow haired green-eyed man out of my mind.

****************************** THE NEXT DAY *************************************

"BEEP, BEEP, BEEP"

Another morning awoken by that lovely sound. My morning consisted of my normal routine, as finished I walked into the living room where my dad was sitting, I walked over to him and kissed his cheek.

"Morning daddy, I'm off to school I love you see you later"

I walked into the kitchen to tell my mother goodbye, while also grabbing an apple and granola bar before grabbing my bag and walking out to my car and drove to campus. As I pulled into my parking lot and I saw Harry standing there with his group of friends. What a beautiful sight to see first thing in morning. I wouldn't mind starting every day staring at his god like face.

I shook that thought away and shut off my car, grabbed my things, and got out. It was almost like he sensed I was near he turned around and checked me out while taking his bottom lip in between his teeth and winking at me once we made eye contact.

I have to admit, when he does that it's so sexy and a turn on... WHAT AM I THINKING?!?! I felt myself starting to blush so bad that I probably looked like a tomato. I did the only logical thing I could think of, I ducked my head and started walking with my head down into the school as quickly as my legs would carry me.

Harry's Pov,

I was standing outside school talking to the guys about how I am going to talk to the Alpha today about me finding my mate... I know what you must be thinking, "Harry, why not just tell the girl? Why put her and yourself through the torment of waiting?" well you see in the werewolf community, if either party is not of age the older wolf must ask for the families permission before starting a relationship with each other.

Trust me I'm going crazy not being with her but I've been waiting for her for eight years, I'm sure I could last a few more hours until I go speak to Alpha Mayfield to locate her family and go figure out claiming what is rightfully mine!

Speaking of my lovely mate I was knocked out of my thoughts about all the things I couldn't wait for once I was able to officially say she was mine, when I caught her delicious scent. I turned around to gawk at her when I let out a deep but quite growl at the site of her.

She had on a white tight-fitting cropped tank top, with a red, white, and blue flannel shirt over it, light blue Jean SHORT shorts, and converse. Holy shit I was that is girl is trying to kill me! Like hell how does she manage to look so incredibly sexy yet still innocent???

I saw her looking at me and I bit my lip and shot her a wink looking to get a reaction out of her, I know she was trying to hide it but I saw a splash of color make its way onto her perfect face.

******************* AFTER SCHOOL AT KRISTA'S HOUSE******************

As I walked up the front steps of the Alpha's house, I was mentally giving myself a pep talk. I mean, I've known Alpha Mayfield for most of my life but having to tell him I met my mate and figure out how to initiate contact is a big deal. I knocked on the front door. I heard heavy footsteps approaching and I straightened myself out when Alpha Mayfield opened the door.

"Ah, Harry my boy, it's so great to see you again. Please come in, come in."

As I walked in the door there was a faint scent of my mate as if she was here recently, I assume she must be friends with the Alphas kids.

" It's good to see you too sir. Thank you so much for allowing me and my friends onto your territory to look for our mates. It means a lot to us to have your cooperation with the matter. I'm sure you will be delighted to hear that I have indeed found my mate." I told him while I followed him into the living room taking a seat on the couch as he took a seat in the recliner.

"OH! This is great news!!!! I'm so thrilled for you Harry, tell me who is the lucky girl?" Just as I was about to respond to him, that lucky girl come rushing through the front door. I figured that she was here with the Alphas daughter. So, imagine my shock when MY lovely mate walked straight up to the Alpha and gave him a huge hug and kiss on the cheek.

I was stunned! Is she trying to make me mad? Didn't she see I was right here? Are they together? He has a mate and so does she.... ME! and not to mention that she was a lot younger than him... what the bloody hell is going on her...

"Hi daddy how was your day?" Came Krista's greeting, breaking me from my troubled thoughts. It all made sense now, she wasn't his daughters' friend, or his lover, she WAS his daughter.... Holy shit....my mate is the Alphas daughter!

Telling him who my mate was just got a whole lot harder! When I tell him Krista is my mate is there is a 50% chance I am going to be killed. I mean I don't think he would because he knows me and everything but he's an Alpha and we are talking about a twenty-six your old man coming in and taking his only daughter as his own. I know if it was my pup, I would be ... well let's just say if the guy didn't leave with his tail between his legs, I didn't do my job right.

" It was a long day sweetheart! Krista, you know Harry right? He's one of the wolves I told you about, I know you said you were going to invite him and his friends to your party. Oh! And good news he found his mate!" Alpha Mayfield told her with excitement, I could have sworn I saw disappointment flash across her face but she quickly covered it.

Krista's Pov,

NO!!! He can't have mate! I was supposed to be his mate, this totally sucks. I'm so upset I just want to run to my room and cry. I have to suck it up and find out who she is so I can scope out my competition. WAIT! What the freak am I thinking?!?! in less than two days I will be able to find my mate, I can't not fall for this guy who already has a mate!

"So Harry, who is you mate? She sure is a lucky girl! It really is so exciting that you already found her." I fake enthusiasm and acted like I'm not dying on the inside.

"That's for me to know and you to find out" He responded adding a wink at the end.

"I still need to talk to her father and your dad um, because I'm not sure if she is a full wolf yet and also, we don't want you to spoil the surprise now do we?" he was really nervous and distracted as he finished his statement. I don't understand why he is so distracted; it couldn't be because of me could it?

OH MY GOD HE HAS A FREAKING MATE ALREADY GET THAT THOURGH YOUR THICK SKULL!!!

"Well I'll leave so you guys can talk then. Congratulations Harry, she's a lucky girl" As I started to walk out when he calls out "I'm the lucky one" and winks at me I try not to cry and blush, let's just say I bolted out of the room faster than ever before.

Harry's Pov,

I have no idea how to phrase all of this, I will just have to tell him privately in hopes that she can't hear us. Let's just hope I make it out of this alive!

"Sir, do you think we can discuss this somewhere more private? I don't really want to risk anyone hearing." I ask trying to keep my voice from shaking. I mean don't get me wrong I'm not a wimp! But when you find out that your mates father is the Alpha or the strongest pack in the United States it's a bit intimidating.

"Oh, of course come on we can go up to my office. Follow me" We both got up and headed upstairs. As we were we passed a room which I assume belongs to Krista because of the smell, Marcus starts going crazy!

"Mate!! Go to mate claim her as our, mark her so everyone knows who she belongs too!!"

I had to ignore the urge which is super hard considering I'm an Alpha. Once we find our mates the pull is so intense it hurts to be without them if you haven't marked them. I just kept following Alpha Mayfield until we got to a set of French doors which I assumed led to his office.

My assumption was confirmed as he opened them and walked in taking a seat behind a huge desk in the middle of the room.

" So, Harry you mentioned that you weren't sure if your mate was of age yet. Do you know her name? I can look her up in the packs database and then take you to the right place."

I didn't know how to say it, so I kind of just blurted it out.

"KRISTA'S MY MATE!" My breathing heavy and eyes wide as I waited for his reaction. The look on his face was pure shock which then turned into one of fury.

" WHAT?! When did you find this out?!" He screamed back at me, face turning red in anger.

"Sir please calm down, I found out that she was my mate yesterday and I only just found out she was your daughter a minute ago I swear! Had I known who she was, I would have come and spoken to you sooner. " I was scared to say the least. I didn't want to be disrespectful but I also wasn't going to be a coward. I knew what I wanted and that was MY mate, my other half, something that was mine and was made for me just like I was made for her!

"Well you can't tell her that you're her mate!" ... Who the fuck does he think he is? I mean yeah, he's her father and I want him to accept me, I would like to have if approval. But I don't give a shit if he is the most powerful Alpha around, he has no right to say I couldn't be with my mate! I decided it was time to give him a piece of my mind. I don't fucking care if I die, I wasn't going down without a fight!

"Well why the fuck not?!?! I have a right to be with my mate. I don't care if you're the bloody alpha or her father you can't stop me!! You were the one who invited me onto your land so I could find the person that the Moon Goddess created to complete me, And you want to deprive me of that? Deprive your daughter from being with her mate!? " I was really fucking pissed off he has no right to make that decision.

I was trying to calm myself down I could tell that Marcus wanted to take control, I'm sure that my eyes were pitch black right now. If I didn't calm down, he would take over control and there is no telling what he would do.

"Oh Harry, calm the hell down would you! I give you my blessing. I couldn't think of anyone who would be a better fit for my little girl than you." He said helping to calm my anger.

"It's just if you go and tell her now, she won't be able to experience the thrill of finding her mate. The experience of seeking out your smell, locking eyes for the first time and knowing that your hers. I mean I can already see that she is attracted to you, and by the look on her face when I said you had found your mate showed that she is somewhat feeling the effects of the mate bond" He continued.

I could understand what he was saying but I was still confused.

"So what do you expect me to do? I wont be able to hold my wolf or feelings back forever." I told him slightly irritated.

"You don't have to wait forever; you just have to wait two more days. On her birthday she will have her first shift, then she will be able to seek out her mate and you guys can be together. You'll come to her party, heck you and your friends are like a group that sings right? You guys can play at her party." I had calmed down tremendously, still irritated but calm.

Let me just say...

This is going to be the longest two days of my life!!

Krista's Pov,

After I left the living room, I bolted up the stairs taking them two at a time. I opened my door and slammed it closed locking it and flopping down face first onto my bed.

All I could think about was Harry and his mate, who wasn't me. I have this pit in my stomach. The thought of him with someone who isn't me making me nauseous which made no sense to me. I should be happy for him; he has been looking for his mate for eight years and he finally found her! I'm going to start looking for my mate in two days so it shouldn't affect me, I should be focusing on my own mate.

But the thought of Harry and I not being a possibility makes me not want to have a mate. How am I supposed to be seeing him with someone who isn't me? Act like seeing him show affection to another doesn't make me sick? Why do I feel like this?

Is this normal? Why did he have to stumble into my life and make it so difficult?! Why did he have to come and make me like him? I shouldn't be feeling these things for a mated male who isn't mine! I don't understand why he would flirt with me if he had a mate? Maybe Ashlyn was right, maybe he is a player. Maybe he thought that I would be easy, Fall for him just because he's super hot and I'm a nerdy, insecure girl.

I mean I guess in a way that was true, that is what is happening, but I was going to put a stop to this! For the next day and a half, I was going to avoid Harry as much as possible and then once I shift and find my mate I won't even care about, I'll be too focused on my mate and my Luna training starting.

This starts now. I got up from my bed, deciding that I've spent too much time and energy on the god like man that is Harry Styles. I walked to my bathroom turning on my bath faucet and dumped in my strawberry bubble bath, I needed to relax and not think of him!

After shedding my outfit from the day and stepping in. Breathing out a relieved sigh, this is just what I needed. All my tense muscles relaxing, loosening. Sinking into the water deeper, I slowly started drifting into a dreamless sleep.

********************************** 20 Minutes Later *******************************

There was a knock on my bathroom door, my Mother waking me up from my relaxed sleep. My water has gone cold, my fingers and toes are all pruned from the exposure to the wet environment. I pulled the plug, and stepped out of the tub onto my soft bathmat.

Changing into my pajamas and heading down to eat. Picking at my food until I couldn't eat anymore, the pit in my stomach coming back full force. I decided I have had enough of the awful day I retired to my room for the evening. After turning on Netflix and finding "Pretty Little Liars" I curled up in my comfy bed full of fluffy pillow and soft blankets. Eventually falling into a thrilling dream that may or may not have involved a certain green-eyed man.

*****Krista's Room****

[hotchley]

hey sumayyah! i saw your sign!! I'm writing the JJ & Emily parts of the really out of the blue and shitty mini-whatever it is 💀 and hopefully I'll figure out how to shorten it or something lmaoo

but i wanted to come here and talk for awhile i guess

it's like, 2am where i am right now and I'm just so drained mentally like idk i can't seem to focus on getting all my work done (school work) and i just submitted a fake corrupted file to pass off as my homework because i haven't been able to finish it (it's not graded or anything it's just 2 biology practice papers for revision for the upcoming exam but they're really long & biology is not my strong subject......)

like I'm 60-70% done on both papers and yeah i feel so bad for doing what i did and i am still planning on finishing those 2 papers (both as legitimate practice/revision & just in case my teachers do check and decide to ask me to resubmit/send them the file through another channel) and idk i obviously can't really talk to any one in school about this so i came here.... sorry for this bout of negativity i just feel so drained inside and it's not even the first time.... I'm on my break right now (mid years break) but my break is ending in roughly 4-5 more days? and I've felt unmotivated and horrible throughout the entire break idk :/ idk if this is just burn out or something else.... I've been planning on finding a therapist/professional to talk to? but 1. i can't exactly do it "openly" because i come from a rather conservative family and mental health issues (& sexuality etc) aren't things we talk about in my family.... and 2. I'm still a full-time student & I'm not sure of what services are available + the costs and all the other concerns? so like idk I'm not even sure where to start :(

and because I've been feeling like cr*p most of the time the last 3 weeks, I've done absolutely nothing & so i have TONS of school assignments piled up (those that were due during the break I've finished (somehow lmao) and submitted, but those that are due AFTER the break when school reopens.... i have completely not touched) & the worst thing is I'm not even entirely sure what's my entire workload.... so i definitely have to start seriously getting my work done from tomorrow (technically today) onwards.... but like i genuinely have a hard time focusing on work and I'm not sure if it's just my issues with procrastination or if i have a genuine illness or something and i don't want to self diagnose so I've been trying to not think about this but lately it's been so hard because i can't even finish my work on time and exams are coming and it's just really affecting me? and it's getting worse? i don't even have anyone i can truly talk to about this irl too and SKDJSKSNS idk 😭😭

i am SO SORRY for all the negativity!!!!! i just felt so alone and really had to vent somewhere i am so sorry, feel free to delete this ask if you're uncomfortable 🥺

i hope you're having a much better day/night and i love you ❤️ your blog (& cm Tumblr) is really giving me hope & keeping me alive, if i can put it that way 🥺♥️♥️ thank you for being you, and thank you for simply existing. I'm sorry things got so depressing all of a sudden lmao I'll be fine (eventually, probably)

- 🌙

I feel like my answer got long, so I put it under the cut :)

YAY!

Also, I did see this when you initially sent it, but I'm working on boundaries and priorities, which is why I didn't answer it then- I just needed a break <3

Look, you're learning during a pandemic that has disrupted everything and caused a lot of pain and stress. One corrupted file does not make you a bad student. You're still going to try.

There were so many days during lockdown where I just... didn't submit any work, and then I would submit it later saying the thing broke- which seemed believable because the thing we used never functioned properly.

And we cannot be happy or perfect all the time. Sometimes we need to share our problems. I have always said you can talk to me, it just may take me a few days depending on my own situation, and I stand by that.

Sometimes breaks just make us more miserable. Sometimes it is just genuinely a phase that you will snap out of. Sometimes it isn't. Either way, you need to let yourself feel this. Don't try and bury it. That'll be worse.

So when it comes to therapists, if you've been thinking of seeing one, go for it. Chances are, it'll help.

I get what you mean. I don't know what it's like where you are, but in England, everyone over 16 has control over the medical stuff. That basically means your parents cannot be told what you're doing, and you can do things without their knowledge. If I wanted to make an appointment, I wouldn't need to tell them I was making it, or what was discussed. Neither can the doctors.

I asked one of my friends (I have consent to share this), and she said that she went through the BetterHelp website, and that it's really helping her. Now I know BetterHelp had some real serious problems, so I would be cautious, but that is one option. Hers is between £50-£60 a session, but there were cheaper options.

You could also go through your school!! My school has what is called a "well-being practitioner" who you can just go and see when you're feeling down, and it all remains confidential UNLESS they think intervention is needed. So you could see if there are any sessions they do, or if there's any help you can get from them :)

I have seen SO, SO many teachers on TikTok recently say two things: ask them for help if you need it, and they will give it, and just do something. I don't know what you're teachers are like, but they're probably stressed and burnt out too. If you need an extension or a break or help, they'll do their best.

And if you can't do everything, then just do one thing. Do your favourite subject, or the easiest thing. I know people say do the hardest thing first because then everything gets easier, but the one time I did that, I started crying and I gave up for a good three days so...

If you've done extensive research, then maybe it is something, and if you think that there is that, then you should try and get tested <3 and it's okay if there really is nothing. Sometimes brains are weird

You don't ever have to apologise for being human <3 Remember how I mentioned crying for twenty minutes to my history teacher? I said the same thing to him: that I feel bad talking about these things because everyone has their own problems. His response was: well yes, but there are so many people that want to help you. And they would tell you if you were being a burden.

You need to trust that. And it's hard. It's painful. It's difficult. But I promise you, telling someone will always be better than bottling it up- and this comes from the person that was pissed for six weeks because I got a phone call home from someone higher up because previously mentioned history teacher told them that I was not doing great

I love you too!!

And sometimes life gets you down! That's okay! Things will get better! Maybe this isn't healthy, but my thing is: things will work out, and things will get better because they need to, and I refuse to believe I am living a life where they won't.

You will be fine! I have every faith in you!!

[love101imagines]

Pretty little secret

(sinan & ışik | imagine)

Request: Could you write an imagine about Sinan & Isik? Either with nr 7 or 30 from the prompt list.

Prompts used: 7. You’re jealous, aren’t you? 30. I’m pregnant.

requested by: @l0ve1o1

a/n: You can’t imagine how much I have thought about the two with a baby !! Please request more things similar. I also made the gif 💓

She could feel her head spinning so much she wasn’t sure if she was going to faint, throw up or both. The room seemed dizzy and her hands shook as she silently told herself to calm down.

“Işik, you look very pale. Are you alright?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Kemal froze in the spot. He knew that the teenager had only turned 18 a few weeks ago (she was still a child) and that she was in a relationship with a boy who, even though he had a good heart, had already problems with alcohol.

“Have you told Sinan yet?” He asked handing her a cup of tea he had made when Işik arrived concerned at his apartment.

“No one has seen him since last week. I thought maybe you knew where he could be.”

He furrowed his brows. He was never good with teenagers, and he knew the magnitude of the situation. But there wasn’t anything he could do to help. He tried not to make it worse than it already was.

“I haven’t seen him either, I heard the teachers saying that finally he had left for good.” That wasn’t a good answer as the girl’s mood seems to sadden even more than before, so he acted quick. “But what about your friends? Have you told them about...this? Maybe they have seen him.”

She took a deep breath as the memories she had though about over and over again came back to her. “We don’t talk anymore. We had a fight and Eda already left for college, I haven’t seen Osman in school either and Kerem is hanging out with boys who scare me. But no one has seen him and I don’t know what to do. You are the only one who may know where Sinan is, but he just disappeared without saying goodbye.”

And all because of that fight.

~~

It had to be a stomach bug. It couldn’t be anything else, right?

Those were the only things Işik had in her mind as she continued to throw up in the school’s bathroom. She took a gulp of water from the sink and washed her hands and face before heading to class.

She made it just in time walking before miss Ayşe and headed straight to her desk, avoiding the staring of her classmates. Sinan was already there reading a book which he put down the second Işik sat down.

“You were almost late.” He stated.

She avoid his gaze by doing another task, which consisted in taking out her notebook and pencil case. “I had to talk with Mr. Kerif about my grade on his last assignment and explain to him why I found it unfair. I got a bit carried away.” She spoke fast.

He didn’t think much about it and only rubbed his eyes. “You worry too much.”

The lesson carried on but she still felt something in the fit of her stomach. She was worrying too much, just like Sinan said. She had to focus on the lesson or something else. Behind her Eda was doodling in her desk, Osman played with his tie, Kerem seemed also lost on his thoughts and Sinan did his best to stay awake and write down a few notes.

Işik felt dizzy all of the sudden. Luckily for her, the lesson finished with the ring of the bell and she was the first out of the door headed straight for the bathroom, leaving her friends behind with a confused stare.

“What happened to her?” Osman asked nearing Sinan as the others did the same.

“Is she sick?” Kerem said .

“Did you do something to her? She told me that...” Eda started angrily before Sinan interrupted them.

“You can stop interrogating me, I don’t know anything.” He said picking up his bag. On another occasion he would just leave, but now he seemed concerned too. “She seemed off this morning.”

Eda only rolled her eyes before muttering “shit” and going the same way Işik had before. Once she reached the bathroom, Işik was with her head between her hands walking from one side of the bathroom to the other.

“What’s wrong?” Eda asked.

A few girls were staring at them and after she gave them a nasty look they left leaving the two girls alone.

“I don’t know. It started yesterday, the nausea, not being able to keep down my breakfast.” She stopped abruptly and took a deep breath.

Eda furrowed her brows. “Didn’t you go to Sinan’s house for your birthday and...”

“Eda!” Işik said irritated with wide eyes. “Do you want the whole school to find out?” She whispered.

The brown haired girl only rolled her eyes. “Come on, it wasn’t your first time together. Don’t be such a prude.”

Işik grabbed her bag from the floor. She felt better than before now that her stomach was empty, but she felt the crave of something sweet.

“We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. You were too drunk Kerem had to leave you on your doorstep and Osman had a family emergency.” She said walking down the hall with Eda next to her.

“Well, better for Sinan, right?” Eda replied with a smirk.

Işik only sighed. Eda continued walking until she noticed Işik had stopped a few steps before her. She was about to urge her to stop acting so weird but it didn’t seem like the right thing to do, since her friend seemed too concerned.

“Eda...you don’t think I’m...?” She started.

“No.” She quickly interrupted her wrapping her arm around her shoulders. “It’s probably that you ate a shitty breakfast today or you felt sick after seeing Necdet’s face.”

Işik still didn’t seem convinced, so Eda took a breath and stopped just before they went out into the courtyard where the boys where waiting for her.

“If you aren’t sure you can buy three tests and see how they come out. I’m sure it’s nothing. Did you use a...”

“Yes, we did.” She whispered seeing if someone had heard them. “Can you come with me to the pharmacy? I don’t want to go alone, I’m too nervous.”

Eda bit her lip uncomfortably. “I’m sorry but I can’t. My parents want me to talk about college and I have already postponed it too much. But, don’t worry! I’ll tell Kerem to go with you and not ask you why.”

Işik nodded unsure. “Thanks.”

Both girls went out into the school yard where the boys were waiting for her. After telling them that she was ill and eating a hazelnut from Osman, Işik did her best to hide her discomfort. However, Sinan could see through it but still wasn’t sure what was wrong. Only one possibility crossed his mind, and it wasn’t a good one.

After school, his suspicions grew. He had gym so he had to stay at school but he was able to see his girlfriend leave with Kerem, acting nervously and him listening closely.

“So you think you might be pregnant?” He asked and she nodded facing the ground. “Who’s the father?” Kerem said after they walked for a while to a pharmacy.

“Kerem! Do you think I would cheat on Sinan?” She said with her high pitch voice.

Even though he was taller than her by almost two heads, he panicked. “Of course not! I mean we all expected you two to date for a few more years, but no to be parents”

She sighed and hung her head low, a million thoughts crossing her mind.

“But it’s fine. We’ll help you, and Sinan would never leave you. Besides, you would be a great mother.”

Işik smiled a bit. Sure, she was panicking inside but she knew deep down that she could count on Sinan and her friends.

And now there she was, on Sinan’s living room with three positive tests on her bag pack she hadn’t seen yet the result. They were both doing homework, but the silence between both of them seemed off. She decided to break it, trying to prepare for what would change their lives.

“Have you received any reply from the colleges you applied?”

Sinan took a sip from his hip flask and grabbed a few letters from his bag which he left in the table. Işik eyed him warily and started reading one of them.

“Sinan, this is great news! Why didn’t you tell us?” She asked with a bright smile.

That smile. That damn smile which he loved now only made him snap.

“Probably because you were too focused on going behind my back.” He said standing up with anger.

Işik only stared at him confused. “Going behind your back? What are you talking about? I don’t understand Sinan.”

The whole situation was too much for her. It remembered her to that time they argued over her giving him her test and risking her grade. Only this time, she wasn’t going to sit down and cry quietly. She got up and crossed her arms.

“Why were you acting so weird today?”

She shrugged acting like it was obvious. “I told you, I wasn’t feeling well today. I had a big breakfast and it made me sick.”

She made her towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water since she was nervous and she didn’t want to tell him yet why she felt sick. She didn’t want Sinan to freak out more than he was now and she didn’t feel it was the right thing to do in the middle of a fight.

Sinan was faster than her and grabbed her by her arm before she could leave.

“Sinan! It’s the truth, I’m not lying to you.” She said exasperated.

“I saw you with Kerem.”

That threw her off but she still didn’t want him to found out the real reason why they both went to the pharmacy. “We’re friends. You and Osman had gym and I needed a ride. Eda couldn’t come with us and he’s the only one with a car.”

He still seemed not convinced. “Are friends that close to each other? Even when both of them are in relationships?”

It all came to her like someone had dropped a bucket of water. She couldn’t believe it. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

He didn’t answer but let go off her arm. Işik stared at him as he took a big gulp of his flask until there wasn’t any liquid left and he dropped it to the floor.

She took her bag and paused. Sinan was sitting on the couch staring at the floor but she knew she had to give him some time.

“Let’s talk tomorrow when you are sober.”

Sinan didn’t reply with one of his sarcastic comments and she left. A few blocks away she opened her bag to grab her scarf, three positive pregnancy tests fell. She dropped to her knees to see them and for the first time that day, she didn’t feel sick.

~~

She had meant to tell Sinan, but then that fight happened and the group broke up completely, and in the rush of them not being friends anymore, she didn’t notice Sinan moving out of his house and leaving entirely. She didn’t have anyone else to help and was alone now.

“Do you know what you’re going to do? What about your parents? Have you told them?”

Işik left her cup of tea on the table in front of her before answering her teacher. “I’m leaving for college to Trabzon and my parents already rented an apartment for me. They aren’t talking to me at the moment but...I’m going to keep it, I’ve already made my mind.”

He wasn’t sure what to say so she got up slowly.

“Well then, congratulations. I know you will be able to do it and if any news of Sinan come around I’ll let you know. Burcu lives in Trabzon, I’ll write you down her address and number.” He said before scribbling it down on a paper.

A few weeks later, she was on her apartment clutching her small, almost inexistent, baby bump. She lived relatively close to Burcu so she visited the teenager quite often, even though she was still surprised of her condition but willing to help.

She found a job as a waitress and managed to buy a few things to make her apartment as kid friendly as possible. It wasn’t that big but it was enough for two people. After a while, her parents started answering back her calls and even visited her giving Işik some money. She got through school with the best grades and even though many students and even some teachers stared at her, a few were supportive.

And just when she finished her first year in college, she gave birth to a healthy boy holding a nurse’s hand. She named him Cevdet and gave him her last name. After the delivery her parents and Burcu visited her at the hospital with presents and she knew she was ready to take care of him, without Sinan but with their help.

Three years later, she was doing well balancing school, work and raising a child when she answered her door to Burcu, Eda and the father of her child.

[pbandjesse]

I feel really exhausted today. I dont feel as bad as I did but it has still been a little hard. I could not fall asleep or get comfortable last night and it was not fun at all. I was up until almost 2 and when I did sleep I had very active dreams and it wasnt even good sleep. Sucked. 

So when my alarm went off I told James I needed 5 more minutes. Which made it so I had to leave right away once I was washed and dressed. So it was a little bit of a stressful morning. 

But I got to work on time. And it was a nice enough day. We have 3 more kids registered but they are probably coming tomorrow. So it was just our small crew. But we were all kind of off today. Tired. 

Dasia came in late because her mom was flying back into town and her flight got delayed and it was a whole thing. The twins were there when I was and they were both tired. Caylee was in baby voice mode all day, and Caleb was just poking at his sister all day. But we did do some beading and that was fun. Hopefully well do more tomorrow. I probably could have been a better teacher but I was just really tired so we only did it for their first break. 

Once the other two girls got there we were all mostly just in class mode. I worked on sewing but I could barely focus on that. Today just sort of drug on. I did get some stuff done at least. And I read for a little while. 

We had lunch and me and the twins went outside for a while. It was very breezy today and it made me pretty cold. The first time we went out I remebered my jacket but the second time later in the day I forgot it inside and I was just so cold! My sweater was just to thin. I might put this one in storage. I have so many black sweaters so it wouldnt be the worst thing to put one away. 

Because everyone was so tired we pulled out the yoga mats and the kids all made nap areas. We used the big pieces of fabric in the closet as blankets and the bags of stuffing as pillows. It was very silly. But we had the lights off and for the most part they all focused on their work and it was all good. We were all sleepy though and I was shorter on patience for nonsense today. Like sneaking on youtube when youre actually in class. Like sure have a youtube video on while youre doing work, but not during the actual class. I know the class is stupid. I get it. But this is how this year is and yes I know the mask is annoying but we gotta wear them why have I had to ask 10 times in the last half hour. I might do a check mark system and if they get enough positive checks for masks Ill give them candy? Well see. I hate rewarding when its something they should just do, but this is a weird year. 

The second time we went outside we sung on the swings and on my silk for a while. But by the end of the hour we were all sort of whiny and tire. And so we went inside and cleaned up and I got ready to leave. 

I was very tired at this point. I checked in with Evers and gave him updates of the day. Told him the book requests from the kids. Turns out they are having someone from the library coming to bring books anyway so it was just a nice coincidence. 

I headed home. Took a different way home and it was nice. I stopped at burgerking and got a milkshake and when I got home I made the veggie popcorn chicken and it was alright. I might bake them longer next time to make them crispier but they were still nice. 

After I ate I decided I would sleep for a bit. Which ended up being almost 2 hours. I woke up very dehydrated and very confused because the sun had gone down. I changed into my new sweatshirt and got something to drink and I felt a little better. I checked on our animal crossing island and you can catch leaves right now! That was exciting but I was bad at it and got frustrated. 

I did some and work in my studio for a bit. I have two commissioned big frogs this week and so I sent them some fabric ideas. I also stuffed and finished a few other friends. I have to go through my frog box again though because I think I may have missed a bunch when I photographed before so I think Im gong to retake all the ones I still have? Well see. No sales today but James did get the two from friday sent out today. The printer issue seems to be a known thing so he found a work around and printed the labels in blue. He's so smart. 

I did the dishes and now I am just laying in the studio. I think I am going to go take a shower and get in bed. I am really hoping I can get easier sleep tonight. Dasia isnt going to be in tomorrow, so I will be alone with the kids. Which is fine, she is mostly just another set of eyes in the room. I wonder if the three new kids will be nice? I hope so. 

I also hope you all have a good night. Please keep washing your hands. And try to stay in. I know our government hasnt made it easy for us and hasnt set a good example. But we got to do our best. 

Sleep well you guys.

[dracoqueen22]

[CR] Sharing Space

Universe: Critical Role, Campaign Two, And Other Virtues series Characters: Caduceus/Fjord, The Mighty Nein Rated: K+ Description: Of all the weird shit the Mighty Nein has encountered, Caduceus and Fjord accidentally swapping bodies has got to take the cake. For FjorClay Week, Day Four, Class Swap "It wasn't my fault this time," Fjord says. "Are you sure?" Beau asks, squinting up at Caduceus' body, only it has Fjord's familiar vocal patterns and not the steady drawl of Caduceus’. It's fucking weird, is what it is, Beau thinks. Caduceus has this nice, slow drawl, and to hear Fjord's cultured tones in Caduceus' voice is just weird. Plus, he stands all wrong. A bit hunched, awkward, like the armor doesn't fit right, but of course it does, because it's Caduceus' armor on Caduceus' body. It's the person inside the armor who doesn't fit right.

"It was my fault," Caduceus says, and that's less weird, his vocal pattern coming out of Fjord's mouth, because Fjord changes accents like some people change their underwear, so it's less disconcerting. He stands weird though. Cranes his neck like he's trying to see over their heads, not that Fjord is short, but well, when you're used to seeing the world from a certain height, Beau supposes that it would be weird to be a foot shorter. "Wow," Jester says, her hands on her cheeks, her eyes darting between them. "Couples really do start to act alike, don't they? Caduceus, you should know better than to touch weird buttons." "To be fair, it’s not technically a button," Caduceus says, and he tugs on the bottom of Fjord's chestplate, making a face Beau has never seen Fjord make. It's fucking weird. Fjord's staring at his hands, wriggling his fingers, as if fascinated by them. Which he shouldn't be. It's not like he's never seen Caduceus' hands before. They've probably been all over his body and-- Nope. Beau's just gonna stop that line of thought right there. "How do we fix it?" Veth asks as she circles Fjord-inside-Caduceus and looks way, way up at him. "This isn't the way to get stronger, Fjord." "Shut up," Fjord-inside-Caduceus says, and his ears flick up and down in a way that’s a lot more animated than when Caduceus does it. "What did you touch?" Caleb walks a slow circle around both of them, fingers tracing symbols through the air before pulling out his spell book and flipping through it. "Nevermind. Be quiet and let me have a look." And by be quiet, he means keep on chattering while Caleb himself focuses and does his wizard thing. "It's Fjord. The real question is what he didn't touch," says Jester. "Hey!" Fjord-inside-Caduceus rears back, indignant, and his ears rear with him. "I already said this time I didn't do it, and even Deuces said he did. Stop blaming me." "It was probably that thing." Caduceus-inside-Fjord points to an object lying on the ground between them. Beau bends down to look at it, but Jester grabs her shoulder and yanks her back. "Don't touch it!" she says, sounding panicked. "What if you get body swapped, too, and then all three of you are mixed up! That would make kissing even more awkward for them." "That's fair," Beau says, and the object suddenly levitates itself into the air, except not on it's own because Veth stands nearby, concentrating. "Mage hand!" she sings, and as the object lifts, Beau realizes it's a coin, but it's not made of a metal she recognizes. Veth turns it slowly over and over, so they can see it from all sides. There are two faces -- one is a human and the other is some kind of monstrous thing with too many eyes and too much teeth. There's writing on it, too, but Beau can't read the language. She's guessing it's some kind of magic language. Probably a form of Draconic then. "Hey, Caleb, come look at this," Beau says. "Where did you get it, Caduceus?" Yasha asks, sounding the calmest of all of them. She tends to take this stuff in stride. The coin wobbles midair and then falls back to the ground. "Oops. Mage Hand only lasts for a minute," Veth says. "Maybe leave it there for now?" "Everybody back off." Caleb plops down in front of the coin, book in his lap. "I need ten minutes of quiet." He starts to trace his little circle around the coin, and well, that's that. Beau gestures everyone to give Caleb his space, and they kind of form a circle around him, too, so no random person interrupts Caleb's concentration. They’re standing in the middle of the street as it is, and people are flowing around them. If they don’t hurry, they’ll attract the attention of the Zhelezo. Caduceus-inside-Fjord scratches at his jaw, then winces when he realizes he cut himself on a talon. "Ow. You should trim these, Fjord." "I've been meaning to," Fjord-inside-Caduceus says. "Especially because... um. Never mind." Jester giggles. "Because it's safer for you if he does," she says. "You didn't answer Yasha's question," Beau points out as she starts to pace. She wants to do something and sometimes, it's torture waiting for Caleb to finish his ritual. "Where'd you get it?" "Oh!" Caduceus-inside-Fjord blinks and grins, and wow, that's a little creepy right there. "I found it at the Sea Floor's Bounty. She gave me a great price for it." Veth narrows her eyes. "How much?" "Does it matter?" Jester asks. "No offense, but Mr. Clay's concept of how much things cost is a little skewed. She probably ripped him off," Veth points out. "That's fair," says Caduceus-inside-Fjord. Caduceus and Fjord, standing next to each other in their swapped bodies, are giving Beau the willies. Because they aren't standing right, and they don't look right, but they're still doing that thing where they lean into each other, and exchange heated glances, and make it pretty damn obvious all they want to do is kiss. It's pretty gross. Not because, you know, of what they are. Just... Beau doesn't like being around all that lovey-dovey crap, and it's weird to see Fjord being so lovey-dovey, and they're kind of like her family, not that Beau has really seen her parents be lovey-dovey. Gah. Bad thoughts all around. "It's fine. Caleb can fix it," Veth says with a sense of certainty. "Or we could ask Essek, I suppose," says Yasha. "He could help." "Destroying things seems to work. We could try that," suggests Jester. "That might not be a good idea," says Caduceus-inside-Fjord, and well, that's at least not weird. Fjord is sometimes the voice of caution. "What if destroying it makes us stuck like this?" Fjord-inside-Caduceus makes an alarmed face, which goes back to weird because it's very rare for Caduceus to look alarmed unless they're in the middle of a battle that isn't going so well. "No destroying it! I don't want to be stuck like this. I mean, no offense, Deuces--" "None taken, Fjord. I like your body just fine, but I like it from the outside, not from the inside. I want to be me, not you," Caduceus says, and then they're looking at each other in that soppy way, and Beau fights the urge to gag. "But think of how kinky it could be," Jester says, and she's got her sketchbook out now, frantically scribbling down her thoughts in one of the pages. "I bet it'd be super weird to kiss like this. Why don't you try it?" "No," they say in impressive unison. Veth giggles. "You're right," Yasha says. "Couples do act alike." There's a snap as Caleb closes his book and sighs with an air of grievance. "Scheisse, it's amazing I can concentrate at all with the six of you chattering above me." "Were you able to complete your spell, Caleb?" Jester asks. Caleb tucks his book away and says, "I did," before he bends down and picks up the coin, slipping it into his pocket without a single hesitation. Nothing happens. "Good news is that we can pick it up right now with no ill effects," Caleb says, and that's definitely a smug smirk. He’s such a little shit sometimes. "And the same person can hold it without activating the magical properties." "All right. What about us?" Fjord-inside-Caduceus asks. "Yeah," Beau says. "What about them?" Caleb gives them all a look that faintly feels as if he's chastising them before he says, "The better news is that the effect only lasts for an hour. Unfortunately, it can't be ended prematurely." "Can we use it again though?" Jester asks, leaning in toward Caleb, and Beau can already see the ideas brimming inside that beautiful head of hers. Jester's no doubt imagining all the chaos she can wield with that coin. Caleb's smart enough to recognize that, too. "The magic has been expended today, but yes, it could be used again tomorrow." He pats the pocket where he'd tucked the coin, and leaves his hand over it. "I think I'll keep it. For further study." "Aw. But I want to look at it," Jester says. "I don't think that's a good idea," both Fjord and Caduceus say in an eerie unison which makes shivers crawl up Beau's spine. "Gross," she says. "Now it’s just getting creepy," Veth says, speaking for all of them. "Stop doing that." Fjord-inside-Caduceus harrumphs and folds his arms, which is such a non-Caduceus thing to do, it once again hits the realm of uncanny valley. "It's not like we did it on purpose." "It's an unexpected bonus," Caduceus-inside-Fjord says, and then his forehead crinkles, and he looks like he's thinking very hard. "Can you hear my thoughts? Does it work like that?" "No, it doesn't allow you to read thoughts," Caleb says with a sigh. He pinches the bridge of his nose. "There's nothing to be done but wait it out, which we can do elsewhere." Beau looks around. They are kind of blocking traffic and attracting stares. Then again, they'd do that anyway, given their colorful bunch. Still, Caleb has a point. "We could go to the beach," Jester says, and her eyes light up with excitement. "Let's do that!" "Water? No, thank you." Veth spins on a heel and starts off in the opposite direction. "I'm going to go back to Yeza and Luc instead. You guys have fun." She waves over her shoulder. "But we haven't even settled on the beach yet," Yasha says to Veth's departing back. Yeah, but Jester said it, and everyone knows if Jester wants to do it, everyone else will eventually agree as well. It's impossible to say no to her. Beau, in fact, had not even considered it. "I think we'll head back to the chateau, too," says Fjord-inside-Caduceus, sharing another glance with Caduceus-inside-Fjord. They haven't been together that long, but they've already got that secret glance thing down pat. "Wait this out." "Sure," Beau drawls, folding her arms. "A completely innocent wait in the privacy of your room. I'm sure that's all that's going to happen." Jester giggles. Caduceus-inside-Fjord looks confused. "What else would--" "Come on," Fjord-inside-Caduceus says, laying a hand on his own shoulder and spinning him in the direction Veth had gone. "If you get her started, the others will join in, and then I'll want to tear my ears off." "I feel like I'm missing something." "I'll explain later." Off they go, Caduceus-inside-Fjord with this weird, loping gait like he's trying to compensate for a height he no longer has, and Fjord-inside-Caduceus taking wobbly steps like the length of his legs makes it harder to gauge how to move. "What do you think they're really going to do?" Jester asks. "I haven't any interest in speculating," Caleb says, and turns to go the other direction, briefly looking up at the sun to orient himself. "Let's go to the beach, ja? That is what you wanted." "I'm fine with the beach," Yasha says. "Sure, why not." Beau shrugs. Jester cheers and off they go. At least, Beau hopes, the day can't get any weirder. ****

a/n: Feedback is absolutely welcome and appreciated! I’d love to hear from you! 

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

A lesson in knowing your limits

Gyroid hunting, magic spells, mountain climbing, hanging with friends - all the makings of a fun campsite event! But as with all events, there's also the stress of getting things done in time.

Let's say that what happened earlier today served as a reminder to us that sometimes life gets too stressful and that there will be times where we don't have everything under control. That's not to say that this gyroid adventure hasn't been fun, but on top of all the other stuff that's been going on, it's hard to enjoy yourself when your mind is elsewhere.

Since opening the camp, I have developed a love/hate relationship with the holidays. And with this being a holiday event, we're in a bigger time crunch if we want to get everything set for Toy Day. There's also the fact that Daisy Jane and I are going back home to Rosevine for Emmaline and Minnie's wedding right after the festivities so that puts even more pressure on ourselves to finish things fast.

Joining us for our toy gyroid escapades are Almie, Pippa, and a new friend - Mariposa Silva! Her name means butterfly - isn't that pretty! Almie and Pippa talked about her a lot last time and I'm glad to finally meet her! The three are staying with us until Toy Day, which is in a couple days, so Daisy Jane and I will be leaving with them for home.

I can see why Pippa's all starry eyed over Mariposa and after what happened today, I think the two of them being friends is the best thing to ever happen to her in light of everything she's been through this year. Almie's been a good big brother to her but Pippa really needs someone who can understand her and Mariposa's the kind of friend who fits right in.

So Mariposa is a newcomer who's been living with Rosevine's notorious troublemaker witch Luna as her apprentice. Luna may act all tough but we all know she has a soft spot for us kids like Almie and Emmaline. Pippa's been training with Luna too as witchcraft and wizardry kinda overlap in some areas. I don't know what surprises me more - Luna taking in a teenage girl she randomly bumped into (literally) with no questions and teaching her magic or Luna agreeing to help Pippa (a wizard of all beings - in short, bad association with wizards) with her magic as well as teaching some witchcraft as well. Then again, for the latter, Luna and Almie are partners in crime so it makes sense that she has a soft spot for Pippa as well.

What makes Mariposa unique is that she's able to conjure magic despite not being magical herself, which takes a lot of work. It's not an easy feat for us ordinary people - believe me, I've tried (and tried)! Maybe there's hope for me but at this point I shouldn't get my hopes up too high. Because of life circumstances she has to bear since birth (she really has a way with words), Mariposa has mastered the art of improvisation.

Since she can't summon magic naturally like Luna and Pippa, Mariposa developed her own way of conjuring glyphs and such. So she has to do a little bit of extra work to cast a spell, which can complicate things a bit. There's a lot of things that can slow Mariposa down, however there's two that can't. First is the conjuring of spells - she's resourceful, creative, and super imaginative - when you can't make magic the traditional way, you gotta get crafty. Second is her right arm - or lack of.

In short, Mariposa was born with a bunch of health problems, a nonexistent right arm is one of them. At this point it's all just "blah, blah, blah" to her. She's spent sixteen years with one arm - her entire life - so whatever pitying thing someone wants to say to her, she's heard it all. Sure it might complicate conjuring magic in some situations but she just rolls with it. That's why she's so good at improvising, problem solving, and thinking way outside the box - something she believes is the universe's way of compensating for what she's been given.

For the past few days we've been hiking around the camp looking for gyroids. Mariposa and Pippa showed off some cool spells they learned from Luna while Almie told us about their latest shenanigans. Highlights include Pippa one-upping a frenemy of Luna's with a scalding hot burn, Almie offering to fix up Luna's car with some "embellishments" which may or may not have caused a wingbat uprising, and Mariposa accidentally awakening an ancient spirit while trying to impress Willow and Angie. And of course, we've been talking about the upcoming wedding.

Since I last saw Pippa, she's been getting her strength back. From being diagnosed with leukemia to suffering from complications as well as a near relapse, the past several months have been hard on her. Almie said that outside of family, Mariposa and Angie, and later Willow, were a great deal of help - especially Mariposa. It's so good to see Pippa out and about, almost like how she was before she got sick.

I guess sometimes we're so focused on trying to get things back to normal after getting thrown off that we don't always realize that in many cases, there's no going back. With Pippa keeping up with her studies, practicing her magic, and helping out with the wedding, it seems like everything's back to normal. Aside from having to keep up with meds and appointments and such, Pippa's well on her way to recovery.

Of course, looks can be deceiving. While Pippa is doing well, she still has to be careful not to wear herself out too much. The wedding's been a bit of an incentive for her to stay healthy, especially since she's a bridesmaid - so she's been keeping busy helping Soph with planning the reception and everything. Pippa's a hard worker but she has a bad habit of putting herself last.

The main reason why Almie wanted to come back to the camp was to give Pippa a chance to relax. He's been protective of Pippa since her hospitalization due to other people's carelessness regarding her health. So he wasn't too happy when Pippa admitted to him a couple days ago that she slipped up by missing her meds a couple times over the past few weeks. He said she'd tell him if something was wrong but seeing that she's been trying to keep on schedule for the most part, she should be okay.

While the past couple days were fun, it was clear that the cracks were starting to show. A combined mess of stress from personal life stuff, holidays, the gyroid event, and the upcoming wedding hit us all at once. My mind was elsewhere, worrying about getting stuff done - it can be draining.

Mariposa was the one who helped us refocus by sitting Pippa down and setting some hard truths for her. Almie was right to be concerned about Pippa overworking herself. I get that she's been feeling stuck in a rut so anything to break her out of that monotony is a welcome change. It's good to try to get back on track but you can't force it. From the way she was jumping up and down and climbing all over the place, you'd think we were being timed on finding gyroids.

Exhaustion has a way of wearing you down, physical and mental. If we had health bars hanging over our heads, Pippa's would be almost depleted. And if I'm being honest, mine's probably in the red zone too. Almie and Daisy Jane are likely in red too while Mariposa's probably in yellow. To be honest, I think everyone in the camp's either a red or yellow - it's just one of these days.

So Pippa overestimated herself and eventually reached a point where she couldn't just get back up and act like everything's fine. As in, she fell off a tree, landing hard on her back and was unable to move for a few seconds, scaring the hell out of everyone. Thankfully she doesn't have a concussion or broken bones but she'll be really sore and bruised tomorrow. By then I figured that we collected enough gyroids for the day so we headed back to the camp despite Pippa's protests.

Almie's usually a pretty chill guy so seeing him go off on Pippa was... let's just say I'm glad we all cleared out when they both started raising their voices. When things started getting out of hand, Mariposa decided to step in for a bit. What she said to Pippa had me thinking about accepting your limits.

Basically what Mariposa's saying is that we can't measure our worth by our productivity. If anyone knows how Pippa feels about stagnating due to circumstances out of control, it's Mariposa.

She got it through to Pippa that it's okay to fall short of expectations. I get that it's frustrating when you try to set goals for yourself, only to fail - but you just gotta accept that sometimes things don't work out and it's not your fault. I know that Pippa can be hard on herself, especially since this year has been turned upside down for her.

Mariposa also brought up a good point about the whole don't let your disabilities and illnesses stop you from being accomplished. It's one of those things that's supposed to be encouraging but does more harm than good. Because there will be days when your disabilities will stop you from achieving what you want. There will be times when you're forced to put your life on hold while the world is unsympathetic to your battles. You have to learn how to accept that it's okay to step back and accept that there are things beyond your capability - and that you shouldn't be shamed for that.

In other words, it's important to know your limits. Wise words from the witch in training, something we all need to be reminded of.

Once it seemed like Mariposa's words got through to Pippa, we stepped aside so the siblings can have a moment alone. To keep ourselves busy, I took Mariposa to the Marketplace to craft Toy Day stuff with Reese, Cyrus, and Jingle, which she had a blast doing. After making a bunch of toys we headed to the cabin and put together gift boxes.

It was nice getting to know Mariposa on a one on one basis during that time. Almie and Pippa weren't exaggerating with her wild, creative, and daring imagination. Who knew that there could be so many ways to wrap gift boxes? We got to talking about a lot of stuff, like how she's enjoying staying with Luna, Skully, and Owly, her magic training, Willow and Angie - she's only been in town for a short time and it feels like she's been part of the Rosevine gang since forever!

Also, she has met Emmaline and Minnie so she's definitely on the guest list. Actually she's coming as Luna's plus one since she met the couple after the list was finalized. Though knowing how Emmaline makes friends like bees to honey, Soph made extra sure to accommodate for a growing guest list - which I'm pretty sure has doubled since the invitations went out!

Once we finished with the gift boxes, we headed back to the campsite. Pippa and Almie finally worked things out and were back to their old, playful, bickering ways. They surprised us with desserts - Toy Day themed cookies and mochi! After having a busy couple days hunting gyroids, we decided to take it easy with a cozy bonfire dinner.

Nothing like freshly baked cookies and mulled cider to unwind after a stressful week!

[swimmingnewsie]

Of Coffee and Cookies (Chapter 7)

...You know I used to be patient and methodical with my upload schedule. But now I just want to share with the world my work <3 So enjoy two chapters in less than 24 hours.

Link to AO3

---

"I just don't understand why she can't tell me what's wrong. Obviously there's something, and maybe I could help if she would just let me in!" Maren said in frustration as Ryder drove.

It had been three days since Maren had walked out on Elsa in the cafe, and she hadn't heard from the woman since. What was so bad that Elsa couldn't bring herself to talk about? It wasn't like they hadn't had deep conversations before. They had talked about everything from miscarriages to the death of parents to mental health crises. What was so bad Elsa couldn't even name?

"Have you considered the chance that maybe she's still processing whatever it is? And that she wants some sort of grasp before she tries to talk about it with someone else?" Ryder suggested, eyes focused on the open road ahead of them. There was no destination today, but Maren had a feeling that Ryder was doing this so she would talk candidly. They had never been good at a direct face-to-face conversation. Driving provided an easy environment for them both.

"Maybe, but she's my girlfriend, Ry. I'm supposed to be there to help her with stuff," she exasperated. All she wanted was to be there for Elsa. Why was that so hard?

"You may be her girlfriend, but she's still her own person. She's allowed to keep her secrets if she wants. That's just something she does. Have you tried talking to her about it?"

Maren shook her head. "I told her to come back when she was ready to be mature about things. She needs to come to me first."

Ryder raised an eyebrow. "But is that fair? You're the one who walked out on her because she wasn't talking. Do you really think that's the best way to get what you want?"

Maren rolled her eyes. "No, but- but- I don't know!"

"Then put your stubbornness aside and apologize. She may have done things wrong, but so did you." Ryder said, looking at her. "You yelled at her for not opening up when you knew full well the shit show that the last week has been for her with Anna being so sick.

"Look I don't know Elsa as well as you do, obviously, but I do know this: she internalizes her feelings while you externalize your feelings. If you guys are gonna make this work, you’re gonna have to learn to deal with that."

Maren looked stunned at her brother. Where the hell had all that come from? Her brother had grown a lot from that flighty boy who wouldn't talk to anyone for anything. Maren laid her head back on the seat. "When did you get so wise?"

"I'm dating a self-proclaimed love expert who was raised by actual love expert marriage counselors. You pick up on this kind of shit," he said simply. Ryder sighed, turning the car back towards home.

Maren could hear the sadness in her brother's sigh. She was far more adept at her brother's emotions than anyone else's. "Well, I may not be able to pick at my girlfriend's mind right now, but I can pick at yours. What's running in that pretty little head of yours?"

Ryder gave a hint of a laugh. "Just trying to solve all the world's problems today, aren't you?"

She nudged her brother in the shoulder. "Maybe," she said with a slight smile.

"You're worse than Anna about meddling!" he teased.

"Am not!" Maren slapped her brother's shoulder.

"Hey! Hey! No hitting the driver!" Ryder called out laughing. "And answering your question would require whiskey, and considering we both have work tomorrow, that is not an option."

Maren rolled her eyes. "So you're not going to tell me? Even after everything I've gone through with Elsa?"

"Dramatic much?" he asked, mirroring her eye roll. "We'll talk about it Friday. I promise."

Ryder held out a pinky that Maren happily linked. "Friday," she agreed.

"And in the meantime, you are going to your girlfriend's and talking this out."

"As you command, Mr. Love Expert."

---

"Hi, Maren! I wasn't expecting to see you today." Maren was greeted at the door by a sleepy looking Anna. She looked much healthier than the last time she had been by. Her face had more color, and she seemed far perkier.

"Hi, Anna. How are you feeling?"

"Tired still," she admitted coughing in the sleeve of her sweatshirt. "But what can you expect when you get the flu and strep throat at the same time?"

"Oh, Anna, that's terrible," Maren frowned. "I'm sorry. Have they been able to give you anything to make you feel better?"

Anna nodded. "Antibiotics for the strep and cough syrup to help me sleep at night. Seems to be doing well enough. Elsa's in her room if you want to come in." Maren nodded in reply, entering the apartment. "She had headphones in earlier, so she might not hear you if you knock."

"Thanks, Anna," she said sincerely. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Honestly? Get my sister to go to bed," she said with tired eyes. "She won't say anything, but I heard her coughing all night and I'm worried."

Maren's eyes softened. Of course Elsa wouldn't say anything while Anna was still sick. "I'll do my best."

"Elsa?" she said as she entered the bedroom quietly. Her heart ached at the sight. Books and tissues were scattered on Elsa's bed while Elsa herself was passed out in the middle with her laptop open on a half finished word document and Marshmallow curled up at her side. Her face was much paler than usual- something Maren had thought was impossible- and she shivered violently on the bed clinging to the fluffy cat for warmth. Maren placed a gentle hand to get girlfriend's head; she was burning up. Their discussion could certainly wait, she thought.

Marshmallow meowed up at her. Maren didn't know cats could looked worried, but he certainly did. She gave him a comforting pet. "Don't worry, Marshie. We'll take care of her." He meowed in reply before rubbing up on his owner again, pleased with her words.

"Hey snowflake. Can you wake up for me?" she asked softly. Elsa couldn't be comfortable like that, and if she was hiding her illness like Maren suspected she was, then she was going to get her the rest and medicine she needed.

Elsa's eyes slowly opened to reveal glassy blue eyes. "Maren? What are you doing here? You were mad at me. I'm- I'm sorry," she managed before coughs overtook her chest, scaring Marshmallow off the bed. She sounded terrible.

Maren shook her head, patting Elsa's back to help with the cough. "That's not important right now. How long have you been feeling sick?"

"'m not sick," she said, sniffling as her runny nose betrayed her.

"While you make a very compelling argument, snowflake, do you think you could you tell me the truth?" Maren asked wrapping an arm around Elsa.

Elsa tried to recoil from the touch. "Don't want you to get sick," she said hazily.

"So you admit you're sick," she said with a small smirk. "Love, I teach middle schoolers. My fear of catching a cold is long gone. Now how long have you been feeling bad?"

"Monday."

Monday. Monday was when they fought. A wave of guilt passed over her. "And have you been going to school and work every day like a bad sick person?" Elsa nodded wearily. "Oh, love," she sighed.

Maren moved from the bed, beginning to pick her up her papers and books. "What are you doing?" Elsa asked, clutching at some of her books. "I still have work to do."

"That may be true. But if you have the same thing Anna does, you need to rest more than you need to work. Did you even tell your sister you weren't feeling well?"

Elsa shook her head. "I didn't want to worry her. She has enough to worry about."

"I think you failed that mission, snowflake. She told me she heard you coughing all night last night. Meaning you probably didn't sleep and that you definitely shouldn't have been teaching today." Maren turned to Elsa's drawers. "What pajamas do you want? You aren't resting in those clothes."

Elsa slowly relinquished control, allowing Maren to help her change, something the brunette was very happy about. How Elsa had still been pushing on stunned her. She was running a temperature of 103 and yet here she was still working away on research. But Maren had told her enough was enough, and Elsa was settled in bed with two quilts and a dose of nighttime cold medicine.

"I'm sorry," she said sleepily looking at Maren.

"What for, snowflake?"

"For not calling, not talking to you, not telling you. I know you just wanted to help," Elsa said teary eyed. The combined illnesses must have been making her more emotional than usual, Maren thought.

"I'm sorry too. For yelling and running away on you. But we can talk about those things when you're feeling better, okay?"

"But I was so mean to you," she said before being interrupted by a sneeze.

"Bless you. You were getting sick and under a lot of stress, sweetheart. I can't hold that against you. Especially when you're still so unwell."

"But I don't- but I don't want to sweep it under the rug like it never happened." Her voice cracked, clearly strained by all the talking.

"We won't. There's a difference between sweeping an argument under the rug and waiting until you're well enough to talk without your body interrupting." Maren brushed a hand against her girlfriend's hot forehead. "We will talk about all this another day."

"Promise?" she asked.

"I promise. Now shush, don't strain your voice anymore." Elsa happily snuggled up against Maren, eyes shut. Soon enough, her wheezy breathing evened; and Elsa was fast asleep.

Maren was still just as confused as she was three days ago, but that didn't matter. Elsa was here with her, willing to talk. They would take it one step at a time, one breath at a time. They would figure this out. They would be fine.