#draco writes critical role

[thalthanmadanus]

Draco is THE antagonist of the story and I'm lowkey sick of people diminishing his character's importance in the story and to Harry's character development. so I'm writing an essay about how Draco as a character is fucking important especially his antagonistic arc

💅

1. The crumbs:

First of all, and this doesn't get mentioned often, Draco is the first magical kid Harry meets his age.

Not only that, he is our first glimpse at two major upcoming conflicts in the series: Blood Supremacy, and Hogwarts houses.

Draco plays the important role of the narrative foil to Harry. (even wikipedia references them in the "foil" page)

Draco's main function as a character is to showcase Harry's best traits, through being his most worst. Unlike, Snape and Voldemort, Draco is more concerned with creating internal conflicts for Harry than external ones.

He is the character that says mudblood the most, with the frequency decreasing every book. He is the character that plays with/teases/bullies the psychological vulnerabilities of the trio (specifically Ron and Harry). He is one of the few characters that give rational criticism (against Hagrid, calling out the trio dynamic..) that, taken outside the keyframe imposed by the author, can showcase the flaws in Harry's views and his bias. He is also the only character that shows moral self-reflection that isn't motivated by either a reward or "love", which not only serves as character development for Draco but for Harry too who grows to sympathize with Draco, a small breakup from his fixed binary morality.

Draco is also a very active character. His actions and choices affect the plot. The majority of the first book literally happens because of his dumbass. In the second book, he is our first introduction to the word mudblood, he's also the main suspect to the two main mysteries. If Draco wasn't such a bitchass, would buckbeak gave been in said place for Harry to use him to save Sirius?

He is important narratively but what interests me is his importance to Harry's arc.

What separates Draco from other antagonists is that he creates internal conflicts that stem from his personal conflicts with Harry, because of Harry as a person. Not because Harry's the chosen one standing in his way, not because Harry's lily or James's son. Because Harry's Harry. and this exchange is mutual.

Their personal dynamic is set up in their first meeting. Harry, upon hearing two sentences from Draco, reacts negatively because of deeply personal issues (Dudley). I don't think Harry reacts personally to any other characters the way he did with Draco? Considering that Draco wasn't even hostile in his first sentences.

While Draco targets both Harry and Ron, there's a clear difference in how Draco bullies them both but also how Harry and Ron perceive Draco.

Draco is crueler on Ron. And his bullying doesn't feel personal, just apathetic, humiliating and mean. It feels like Draco is more cruel on Ron because Harry chose Ron over him and it shows by Draco coming back every now and then searching for Harry's compartment, trying to egg him, to look for a way that will make Harry regret rejecting Draco.

About Harry & Ron perception about Draco, it's showcased in the second book by the two main major events Draco was suspected in

1. Opening CoS. It was Ron who suspected Draco for this, not Harry. Ron suspects Draco for an action that affects everyone in the school.

2. Sending Dobby. Harry suspects that it was Draco that sent Dobby to prevent Harry from coming to school. Harry suspects Draco of an action that targets him specifically, and his reason of suspect? "because Malfoy hates me". It's personal.

Another instance of Harry making every issue personal with Draco: In the fifth book, after the sorting hat's song about houses unity

'And it wants all the houses to be friends?' said Harry, looking over at the Slytherin table,where Draco Malfoy was holding court. 'Fat chance. '

I'm also pretty sure the reason why Harry chooses not to be in Slytherin was 50% because Draco got sorted into Slytherin. the other 50% being Hagrid telling him that Slythering are eviiil. Btw a conversation that wouldn't have happened if Draco hadn't brought up houses in their first meeting.

Like I said, most of the plot in the first book goes back to Draco.

My main point is that the relationship between Harry and Draco as characters is beyond goals, motives, obstacles, moral causes bla bal bla, and is on the spectrum of "I took that personally".

2. the main plate:

Draco transitioned in the sixth book from an antagonist to a "side character" with a life. His role as character no longer functioned by his connection to Harry.

and this is where a flip of dynamic happened, where Harry became the antagonist to Draco's arc.

He's the one following him. He's the one egging him on (in the first 5 books,it was always Draco starting conversations with Harry, but in the sixth book, it's mostly Harry who started conversations with Draco) He's the one hurting him (Sectumsempra) (even on accident). He's the one trying to create obstacles to Draco's goal.

and why is that? why was Harry so obsessed with Draco?

If it were because of a moral righteousness, then why not focusing on Snape who's probably more suspicious? like who cares about Draco.. yeah he's sus but Dumbledore says it's not important..

This line of thought is more Ron and Hermione because they don't share the kind of deep personal issues towards Draco like Harry does.

so why is harry so obsessed?

"Harry, knowing and loathing Malfoy, was sure the reason could not be innocent."

This line in the sixth book explains it. Harry knows and loathes Draco with more emphasis on *knowing*.

Harry admits that he knows Malfoy, of course the fruit of labor of staring at Draco for five years, but why does he even stare in the first place? Because Harry is curious about Draco.

In comparison with Snape and Voldemort, our other antagonists,  Harry doesn't show the same enthusiastic curiosity for them. At least not the same way he does with Draco. Most of what we know about Snape and Voldemort are shown through external ways. Either their memories of memories of other people about them. Their character arcs happen outside Harry's vision,  either in the past or in a memory. It's not Harry who seeks those information. They come to him.

Draco, on the hand, most if not all of his character development happens in front of Harry. From his bullshit in the five years to him crying in the bathroom, him lowering his wand, him lying in the Manor. even the visions that Harry sees through Voldemort about Draco torturing Rowle, are happening in the present. Draco's character development is laid bare in front of Harry. 

but back to his obsession in the sixth book, it's because Harry knows Draco so well that not only he's right about him being a DE, but "Malfoy being up to something" is not something new to Harry, it's actually a normal thing that kept happening for 5 years of his life. Malfoy was always up to smtg. It's this idea of a normality that fuels like a new purpose in life for Harry after being wrecked by Sirius' death. Not only the mystery tingles his detective neurons, he knows he's right about Draco which only fuels his persistence. Draco being a person he hates also downplays the guilt/shame Harry could feel while stalking him. like I'm sorry but Harry was shameless and embarassing the whole year. The way Hermione and Ron looked at him sometimes so funny, also Hermione distancing herself from Harry when he talked to McG about Draco like "idk this person". Harry was kinda giving pre-HBP Draco vibes lowkey.

This shows that Harry himself is motivated by personal feelings (though negative) as an antagonist to Draco's arc himself.

And the important point here is the flip of dynamics. Draco is not just a mere side character in Harry's life. If anything, the moment he tries to become a side character with his is own arc, Harry is forcing himself in it. Because they're both foils to each other. It doesn't work on just one side.

The dessert:

The dynamic completely evolves again with the end of HBP as Draco gains a moral sense and Harry watching Draco's character development unfolding gains a more nuanced view than his old black/white one.

In DH, Draco and Harry are not antagonists anymore to each other. Draco and Harry are kind of heroes to each other?? as they both try to save each other like two times.

A lot of people downplay Draco's lie in the Manor, comparing it to Dudley's "You're not a waste of space" as "character development" moment.

bruh.

Dudley said that after Harry saved him. Draco literally was the one who took the initiative to lie, expecting no reward, literally had more to lose by lying, he was literally acting against his own interests, his family's life was in danger!!! Harry saved Draco after Draco saved him.

also Draco's character development started with him lowering his wand.

but back to being each other heroes. Our other comparison is Ron who is in both situations where Harry saves Draco but he's the one reacting negatively and complainig about them saving Draco, not Harry. Which is funny because Ron says "we saved you" but in both cases it's Harry who's doing the saving and Ron is  just there witnessing, and again I don't think he still realizes what was happening since the sixth year. He thinks his hostile feelings towards Draco are the same ones Harry has. That they're similar. Ron.. Harry literally almost risked your life to save Draco.

It also speaks of character development from Harry that he's not reacting negatively anymore towards Draco. He grew out of it. Like Draco also was starting to grow out of his toxic ideologies.

They're both growing up simultaneously.

And Draco was The first wizard kid Harry talked to (with no precognition or insidious motive)

Draco was the first character who he flew with

Draco was the first character who he dueled with

and so in DH,

Draco was the first character who tried to help Harry with no selfish motive

Draco was the first character that flew with Harry on the same broom (at least I think so?)

Draco was the first and only character whose wand Harry dueled with against Voldemort and won.

I wish I could write more. About Sectumsempra. About wand connection. but I'm tired.

[darkrpfinders]

Mina, she/her, super laid back roleplayer.

I’ve been in the roleplaying scene for 15+ years (thank you neopets and AIM!) but haven’t so much for the past 5 years admittedly.

I’m totally okay with weekly replies; we have lives and not only am I 32 years old, I’m also married with kids and a job. EST time. :)

I can do semi-lit to advance, and will usually send at least a paragraph for replies. I don’t mind short paragraphs or whatever as long as they’re genuine. 

We can be friends!! I absolutely don’t mind OOC at all, and understand if that’s all we can do when life gets busy.

I’m ultimately using role-play to get back into writing (starting with a hp fanfiction) and as a hobby.

I’ll be using Discord only - I'm INCREDIBLY new to it but I’ll catch on. My username is jadugaranii

Alright onto what I’ll roleplay :) it is incredibly limited right now but I’m willing to expand!

Harry Potter:

Marauders (I used to mainly play as Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, and OCs. I'm not well-versed in the new shippings, but I'm down for anything, I can definitely try other characters as well.)

Cursed Child (This one will be extremely new to me. I’ve read it a few times here recently, but I could definitely pull it off.. And I love Scorbus so very much.)

Golden Trio… is my least favorite. Nearly zero experience but as always, willing to give it a go. :) (You might hate me, but I can’t stand Drarry or Dramione. I would rather ship Draco with Sonic the Hedgehog. I’m sorry!!!!)

Fantastic Beasts (Never tried it but it’s my FAVORITE series and I just adore Jacob and Queenie with all my heart.)

Pirates of the Caribbean:

This is an oldie but a goodie!!! I usually play the /bolded/ but can play other characters

/Jack Sparrow/ X OC

James Norrington X /OC/

I also don’t mind original plots with OCS. I’m very used to doubling up and can do more characters as well. 

I’m pretty good at researching my characters to stay true, and I take criticism well. If there’s a particular way you want me to play a character, feel comfortable enough to let me know. :)

I’ve mostly done mxf but that won’t stop me from trying mxm and fxf. 

Obviously no incest, pedophilia, beastiality, etc, but I am open to darker themes.

Ok sorry that was so long!!! If anything seems good just hmu on Discord. :)

jadugaranii

[kookabara]

writing pattern tag game :)

post the first line of your last ten posted fics and see if there's a pattern! thanks for the tag, @b10000p <3 i haveee 5 fics to my name, only 1 of them posted (anonymously) so. yeah

“After the cathedral, Lapin doesnt sleep very much.” -an acoc everyone lives no one dies au; this is my newest and very much still in conception

“After they fall, before they hit the water, there is a long period of nothing.” -hannigram post fall, i love her

“Essek returns to Rosahna as Shadowhand to stand at the Bright Queen’s side.” -critical role campaign 2, literally forgot this existed until just now its so buried in the archives

“The first time Draco sees Potter after the war, it’s at his trial.” -yes i wrote a drarry fic no dont worry about it. malfoy becomes a muggle gardener & learns a thing or two about deprogramming

“Steve and Bucky knew each other from a young age.” -stucky soulmate au

i think i very much like to start off with a broad establishing statement. mostly bc this helps me start writing, but also bc i really enjoy interior writing and establishing statements are great for that. these mostly also start in media res too so it throws me into a specific setting and time so i know where im starting at. plus 3 of these are post-canon so some sort of ��after” statement just feels natural. idk. beginnings are hard so for me its preferable to start with the most simple and broad beginning possible

tagging: @catboypantalone and @doingthewritethings (until he succumbs to peer pressure)

[wordrage]

Ok so the reblogs on this went a little off from where I read this originally, and I wanted to clarify my interpretation and response to the above.

I am a person that enjoys the canon and fanfic/fanart/etc that feels like the canon. I like Draco best when he's got that mean, sardonic personality that we see in the books. I like my Harry emotionally distant and the introvert we see from canon.

That being said, I'm 100% down with characterizations of Draco or Harry (or any of the characters) that differ from the above. I'm open to reading how a writer can approach where we leave off in canon and continue forward with these character's stories. I can and have enjoyed flamboyant, flaming homosexual Draco as well as macho, hypermasculine Harry. I've read trans, genderfluid, or nonbinary readings of the characters and found them to be great! Homosexual, Bisexual, Pan, Demi, Ace, Drarrysexual. I have enjoyed them all. I'll continue to enjoy them!

(I do not care about top/bottom discourse and have no preference or opinion on it.)

The best part of fandom, and fic especially, is being able to see a writer take a character and go "what if?" Fanworks that can take from the canon character and make me believe he would fucking say that!

I do agree there are trends in fandom, certain characterizations that get repeated or inspired by. However just because it's a trend or a popular reading of the character, doesn't necessarily mean it's OOC. If a fic is not ticking certain boxes for me, I will disengage. Sometimes the more popular characterizations are ones that I really do not vibe with. Luckily, Drarry particularly is a huge fandom, so at least you're not stuck with one particular trend over another! There's room for all of us in the pool.

I do want to respond to the criticism that Draco being a diva, flamboyant or transfeminine is enforcing heteronormative or heterosexual gender roles. Yes, I can see the argument that there are biases a writer or artist can have and they inadvertently use stereotypes that have been perceived negatively. Yes, we can analyze where these stereotypes originate from and why some are more popular with certain characters or ships over others. I do have a theory why Draco over Harry is the one we see this a lot with, but it's not because of writers using heterosexual relationships as a template.

Fanfiction isn't published work. It's not a transaction between creator and audience where the audience can be let down. Fic/fanart is shared with fellow fans. Criticism, especially criticism that a writer is enforcing negative stereotypes or enforcing heteronormative gender roles, about a fic they wrote for fun does feel like we're assuming the worst intentions of the writer.

Attributing negative social consequences to their works, or assuming they are writing from a place of ignorance feels wrong. These are fanworks. There's no publisher distributing fic to mass audiences. There's no promotional circuit the writer is doing. Fanfiction is something a person has to seek out. We've gotten really good at ensuring fic is categorized and segmented appropriately over the past few decades.

I think it's important to remember that fandom is made up of fans. We're all here out of a shared love for the canon work. We love these characters and the relationships they have with each other. Fans create and share fanworks because they want to express and share the emotions and joy these characters inspire within them. DL;DR

alright kiddos buckle up, cloud has Opinions today

let's talk about the alpha douchification of harry and baby girlification of draco, as blackcathjp so wonderfully said

i will tell you that this isnt my first rodeo when it comes to mlm ships being shoved into heteronormative gender roles. ive been in the yaoi fandom, ive been in the BL fandom, ive been a weeb since i was aged single digits. im perfectly aware of how deep in mlm ship spaces this issue is. but today's subject of interest is drarry, and why i dont like a certain popular characterisation of drarry.

first of all let's pose the question : why is harry the manly alpha head honcho douchebag dumbass jock ? why is draco the naughty bratty overdramatic babygirl princess ? why do yall feel the need to push harry and draco into these stereotypical gender roles, especially in smut ? whats up with that ?

yes harry is a quidditch guy but that doesnt automatically make him a dumbass jock ? the guy's not stupid. i wont elaborate because i and several others have discussed harry's intelligence in other posts already (will link if asked), but yeah harry's not a "dumbass" or a "himbo", at least not in the way you people love to characterise him as. hes not even trying to be a dominating presence. hell, the guy wants to skeddaddle out of situations 8 times out of 10. hes a rough kind of dude, sure, but thats more for his own protection and not out of a need to dominate or control other people. it's weird and stupid to reduce harry's character just to make him fit yalls' homophobic and heteronormative view of mlm dynamics.

SPEAKING OF THAT, what is up with people overplaying draco's overdramatic tendencies and tying it to being a sub and/or a bottom or being the 'feminine' one in the relationship ? i love my bratty subs as much as the next person (my no.1 blorbo rn is a bratty sub who BITES), but if draco's only a bratty sub because hes an overdramatic princess diva who is so, so helpless without the presence of testosterone in your eyes, you need to reevaluate. yes hes a bit helpless in canon but again he was a kid with no pratical combat experience caught up in a war. + his parents' safety being dangled in front of him who wouldnt be helpess in that scenario ?

people absolutely love to explore draco's gender beyond being masculine and theoretically i love that because i love seeing people interpret characters all over the gender spectrum but there's just something about the popular draco gender exploration that just ,,, irks me, for the lack of a better word. people make him smaller ??? than he actually is ?? more helpless ??? like the height and size difference between drarry in canon isnt that noticeable but by god do people stretch it out to infinity and beyond. to make the fem-coded half of the ship smaller and more helpless and more dramatic is, frankly, toeing the lines of misogynistic if it isnt there already.

and why is it that it's always harry who is hypermasculine and draco who is hyperfeminine ? why not have both be feminine ? both be masculine ? both be all over the gender spectrum ? whyyyyyyy do they have to be male x female coded ??? hello ?????? if i wanted a heterosexual ship, i wouldnt be here

like come on guys, theres a bunch of different ways to write mlm ships and a bunch of resources out there to help you get going. why are we still sticking with the heteronormative gender roles in this day and age ? have we not grown out of it yet ?

THIS DOESNT MEAN I DONT HAVE AN ISSUE W HYPERFEMININE HARRY AND HYPERMASCULINE DRACO TOO. i despise heteronormative gender role coding. let queer ships be queer without the lens of heteronormativity.

[pazodetrasalba]

Dangerous Books

Dear Caroline:

When I was about 16 years old, I made my first reading of Cervantes' Don Quixote. It was a school assignment and it was only the first part, but I rather liked it (I'd already developed a weird taste for classics and old literature), except for the interpolated stories that cut the flow of the main narrative. Not long thereafter, I remember a conversation with a teacher in which he was expressing what, at the time, I felt was a silly, adult-entitled view: that one can only really understand Cervantes (and by implicit extension, other 'serious' literature) until one has reached a certain age and experienced certain events and life hazards.

Perhaps with time I have become like the teacher, but I'd still prefer to frame it differently: texts have multiple layers, topics, and a tendency to reflect what you bring to them. One that gets usually referenced when talking about Don Quixote is the power of books to do harm, the ability they have to turn the minds of susceptible readers. And it is not only the case of Alonso Quijano reading chivalry romances.

At around that same age, I remember reading for the first time The Communist Manifesto, which is a short and very well-written book, and a very persuasive one for an uncritical mind. As a consequence, I become a hardcore marxist for decades, and in spite of reading a lot and being quite rational, having adopted it as a mind frame, it become incredibly difficult to overcome it, no matter the evidence to the contrary. This has left me very wary of any sort of intellectual commitment beyond very basic stuff (like a militant belief and defense of reason, truth and Enlightenment values).

How is this supposed to relate to you? Well, I've been making progress with HPMOR (Harry has just now showed his Patronus-casting abilities to Draco; I am actually finding the read more enjoyable as I go along), even if it isn't my Carolingian book of the month (that'll be Piranesi; more about that when I finish it), and I couldn't help but thinking hoe influential that book must have been in shaping a lot of your thoughts, plans, role-models and expectations, and not always for the good. Seen in this light, your famous list of 'nice boy things' reads more like what Hermione would write down thinking about (Rationalist) Harry. It also sets the precedent for a type of fiction about young and smart women that you like so much to read and probably identify with.

Also, in this light, Yudkowsky's post in the EA forum to which I've alluded to before gets an interesting new layer of meaning. On the face of it, Yudkowsky explains in it how the EA community shouldn't feel guilty for allegedly having influenced you and been in some way a causal factor in your misdeeds, and he starts making a parody about how one of the last books you reference in your blog, that last of the  Scholomance trilogy, "could have made you do it". In fact, he was engaging in a very clear act of obfuscation at what arguably would have been a much, much bigger influence, and one exerted on a younger, more impressionable you, as was his own HPMOR.

Not that even in that case one can always put all the blame on books, especially when one becomes more critical and knowledgeable. What I rather suspect is that a lot in influences that stem from your communities and systems of belief could very easily have been twisted and rationalized to feed the worst devils of your nature in the direction of what ended up happening. And if that was the case, books and ideologies can't claim, like failed mathematical models, that they were just fiction, not reality.

Quote: 

FTX was an explicitly maximalist project, and maximization is perilous 

Following a utilitarian logic, FTX/Alameda pursued a high-leverage strategy (Caroline on leverage);  the decision to pursue this strategy didn't account for the massive externalities that resulted from its failure 

The Future Fund failed to identify an existential risk to its own operation, which casts doubt on their/our ability to perform risk assessment 

EA's inability and/or unwillingness to vet FTX's operations (lack of financial controls, lack of board oversight, no ring-fence around funds committed to the Future Fund) and SBF's history of questionable leadership points to overeager power-seeking  

MacAskill's attempt to broker an SBF <> Elon deal re: purchasing Twitter also points to overeager power-seeking 

Consequentialism straightforwardly implies that the ends justify the means at least sometimes; protesting that the ends don't justify the means is cognitive dissonance 

EA leadership's stance of minimal communication about their roles in the debacle points to a high weight placed on optics / face-saving (Holden's post and Oli's commenting are refreshing counterexamples though I think it's important to hear more about their involvement at some point too) 

Milan Griffes

[dracoqueen22]

[CR] Little Do I Know

Universe: Critical Role, Campaign Two Characters: The Mighty Nein, Fjord/Caduceus Rated: K+ Enticements: First Kiss Description: Chaos is what the Mighty Nein does, but Fjord desperately needs a moment to breathe and ask himself the hard questions, and maybe, ask Caduceus a question, too.

It’s been non-stop.

Fjord feels like he can’t breathe. The Mighty Nein races from one chaotic moment to the next. They leap through portals and ride horses and riskily teleport and face down Obann only to suffer defeat.

Fjord knows he’s breathing. He’s pulling air into his lungs. His thoughts are spinning anyway. His chest feels tight, like there isnt any room for his lungs, and he gulps down air, but it’s just not enough. It’s so much.

He’s jittery and anxious. He can’t find peace.

At least, not at all times.

Calm only comes to him in the morning. When he and Caduceus are the first to rise with the sun, and Caduceus brews his morning tea, and Fjord joins him. They sit around the fire, sipping some special brew, and they meditate. Or Deuces meditates, and Fjord tries, but his focus lasts as long as a few heartbeats before he watches Caduceus instead.

He always feels better around Caduceus.

At first, Fjord thinks it a fluke. He chalks it up to his need to be free of Uk’otoa and believing Caduceus has the path to do just that. He looks to Caduceus for guidance and comfort, and when he receives both, Fjord thinks that’s all it must be.

That’s all it has to be.

Fjord doesn’t know who he is.

He doesn’t know what he is.

There’s an angry sea god haunting his sleep and stealing his magic, and an angrier pirate queen who still slips into his dreams to rightly blame him for her death. Sometimes, he swears he can still taste her. It had taken far too long for the marks she left on him to heal, and he doesn’t only mean the physical ones.

The mental scars have a tendency to linger. They are, in the end, the worst.

It’s no mystery why he goes to Caduceus the night Uk’otoa refuses to rise to his bluff.

Fjord panics, and all he can think about is comfort and security and calm. He thinks about tea and a deep, rumbling bass, and the feel of Caduceus’ magic rushing through him like a warm, tingling blanket. He goes to Caduceus without pretense and a mask, and it isn’t until later that he realizes how tired he is.

Tired of lying. Tired of pretending. Tired of trying so hard to be something he’s not.

Caduceus doesn’t judge.

There’s a lot of things Deuces does judge. Their tendency to lie for one, but this, this Caduceus doesn’t judge. It’s like he recognizes the need for personal secrets, personal discomforts, personal pains. He doesn’t blink when Fjord speaks to him in a new accent, and reacts in a way only Caduceus could react when Fjord comes to him bleeding from the gut and desperate.

Fjord stops himself from falling into Caduceus’ arms, but only just. The firbolg radiates comfort and calm, and Fjord has to remind himself of something he doesn’t think anyone gets just yet.

Fjord doesn’t know who he is.

He can’t do anything, be anything with anyone, until he can answer that. Until he knows who he is and what he wants.

It hadn’t been Sabian.

It definitely hadn’t been Avantika.

And Jester...

Fjord adores her, he really does. But he doesn’t think what she wants and what he wants are the same thing. She fills him with light, but Caduceus fills him with ‘home’ and anyway.

It doesn’t matter.

Because Fjord doesn’t know who he is, and until he does, he can’t fall for anyone.

Caduceus heals him, and they talk, and Fjord starts to get an inkling. He goes to sleep, and She comes to him, and She offers and opens Her arms and Her heart and Her Being, and it doesn’t feel tainted. It’s an offer where the terms are expressed, and there’s nothing She wants from him but him.

He takes Her hands and wakes up a new person all over again. Or maybe not new. Maybe this is who he’s been all along, beneath the pretense. He kind of likes who he is now. And it seems the rest of the Nein do, too.

The hole Vandren left in him starts to heal and scab. Sabien is a distant memory. Avantika is a wound he can’t mend, same as the dark of Uk’otoa sitting like a lump behind his ribs, but he thinks -- I’m not alone. I don’t have to fight them alone.

And Caduceus.

Caduceus is there. Always there.

Fjord thinks he loves him a little more each day.

Love is unfamiliar to him.

Fjord thinks he knows what it is, but the Mighty Nein love him far more fiercely and genuinely than Vandren ever did. They protect him, and care for him, and encourage him, and sometimes, Fjord can hardly believe how lucky he is. He worries he doesn’t deserve it, but they keep reminding him, over and over, that he does.

Fjord thinks, if he knows anything of love, it has to be this warmth, this feeling when he looks at Caduceus. The slow creep of a smile. The way he goes weak and strong all over, how Caduceus can calm him with a look, a word, a touch to the shoulder.

He starts to lay his bedroll out next to Caduceus’, not that there’s really a next in the confines of Caleb’s tiny hut, but it’s as close as he can get. He can breathe in Caduceus’ distinct scent -- tea and dirt -- and it soothes him right to sleep. It can’t be anything more than this, not until he’s sure.

So he waits.

Back to Rosohna. Through chasing Obann. To Nicodranas and Zadash and back again. Chasing Obann and the Laughing Hand and Yasha through the Lotusden Greenwood and returning to Rosohna defeated and lost, and Fjord remembers.

It had been so close.

He’d tried to charm the Laughing Hand as a last resort, looking into the face of a monster which could kill him in a few blows. Jester and Caduceus were out of spells. They might not be able to bring him back. This might be his end, and the end of the Mighty Nein, and he’d cast the spell with every bit of desperation in his marrow.

And it had worked! They’d survived! A short-lived triumph in the end.

The sourness of their defeat lingers. The evidence of mortality makes his hands shake, and his heart thud, and he’s no better as himself than he was before, and he stumbles around, lost in the wake of it.

He doesn’t know what else to do but to go to the only source of solace he knows.

Fjord goes to Caduceus, who’s sitting at the base of the tree he grew for their home, incense sending curls of smoke up into the leaves, a cup of tea in his hands, still steaming, giving off a lightly floral fragrance. Fjord wonders who it is this time, and wonders when that stopped being so weird, or if it is still weird and he’s just used to it by now.

Fjord sits in front of Caduceus, legs curled lotus, and he waits. He doesn’t want to interrupt if Caduceus is meditating or communing. This is too important to rush. He can’t wait until the next close call, but he can wait right here and now.

"Hey, Fjord," Caduceus says with that slow and careful drawl, his mouth curving into a gentle smile. "You looking to commune? I think she's got her ears on."

A very small laugh escapes Fjord on an exhale. "No, I, uh, was wanting to talk to you. Actually. If you're not too busy."

Caduceus takes a long sip of his tea before he opens his eyes. "Not busy at all." Then, he blinks and startles. "Oh. Where are my manners? Do you want some tea?" He sets his cup down and pats around, in search of his bag. "I know the other cups are here somewhere."

Fjord curves a hand around Caduceus' wrist and then looks down in surprise at himself. He doesn't remember making the conscious decision to do this. But it's too late now.

Caduceus looks up at him, ears flicking. "Is that a no?"

"Maybe in a second," Fjord says, and his mouth goes dry, his tongue fumbling.

"This must be important." Caduceus settles back into himself, gives Fjord his full attention, but he doesn't shake off Fjord's hand, and strangely, Fjord doesn't seem to be in a big hurry to let go either.

His pulse pounds in his ears. He's hot all over, flushed. What in the Nine Hells does he think he's doing? Something stupid and reckless. Something a lot like pressing a shiny red button he ought not to have pushed.

He tries to speak, but his tongue ties itself in knots, and his hands shake.

"Fjord?" Caduceus' concern washes over him, and Fjord's chest aches with an emotion he doesn't have the right words for. He thinks it's probably because he's never felt it before, and therefore, doesn't know what to call it.

"We lost Yasha. Again," Fjord blurts out. "I don't know, it seems like we're losing. All we're doing is losing. And the strange thing is, you know, I don't remember when we started fighting. We were trying to get away from the war, last I checked, and now..."

Caduceus rests his hand over Fjord's, his fingers warm and soft. "Now it seems we're only getting closer to it."

"Yes. No." Fjord shakes his head, frustration gnawing at him. "I mean, yes, that's a problem, but no, that's not what I wanted to say."

"It's okay. Take your time."

Fjord exhales noisily and clasps Caduceus' hand between his, considering it a good sign when Caduceus doesn't pull away. "We lost Yasha," he says. "Again. If not for Jester, we'd have lost you. And we did lose Molly. He's not coming back." His voice cracks, and Fjord clears his throat to clean it. Some wounds heal a lot slower than others, no matter how much magic you pump into yourself. "I gotta do this before I lose anyone else."

"Yasha is only misplaced. We'll get her back," Caduceus says, and for once, his calm aura does nothing to quiet the frantic beat of Fjord's heart, or the sweat dampening his palms, or how tight his armor feels across his chest.

"That's not the point, Deuces," Fjord says. "The point is... I gotta stop being a coward before it's too late."

"You're many things, but a coward isn't one of them."

Fjord snorts. "I'm a mess is what I am. You helped put me back together, but that's not -- I don't want you to have to keep doing that. I want... I want more."

Caduceus tilts his head. "I don't follow."

Fjord hangs his head, and his fingers shake around Caduceus’. “No, I don’t guess you would,” he says, because Caduceus knows many things, but there’s a lot he can’t have learned, stuck alone in that graveyard with only his family and the dead for company.

Even traveling with them as long as he has, there are some things that can’t be taught. They have to be experienced.

Fjord swallows thickly and untangles his fingers from Caduceus’, hope buoying when he thinks he catches a flicker of disappointment on Caduceus’ face.

“I, uh, don’t want to just be a project,” Fjord says as he reaches for Caduceus, and cups the firbolg’s face oh so gently when Caduceus doesn’t rear back. His cheeks are soft under the stroke of Fjord’s thumb, and Caduceus’ eyes are so wide and bright.

But not afraid. Curious, definitely. Maybe a little confused.

“I want to be more,” Fjord says, and he licks his lips. He doesn’t want to be a coward anymore. He doesn’t want to lose anyone else. At least, not without trying first.

“Oh,” Caduceus says, and it’s quiet and wondrous, like he’s had a revelation. “Do you want to kiss me, Fjord?”

Gods.

Fjord swears steam whistles out of his ears, so quickly does his face flush with heat. “Could I?” he asks, and he’s already moving forward, tilted toward the curve of Caduceus’ mouth.

His thumbs sweep Caduceus’ cheek, and his mouth presses to Caduceus’ the moment he hears permission.

It’s not the fumbling, awkward, rough kiss he’d shared in the dark with Sabian. Neither is it Avantika’s biting claim. Or the desperate breath of life he’d given Jester in the temple.

It’s soft and gentle, a press of mouths, and the warmth of Caduceus’ lips. It’s a shiver over Fjord’s skin, gooseflesh rising beneath his armor and clothes, and the whisper of the night breeze as it sweeps over the roof of the Xhorhouse.

“Mm,” Caduceus says as they part, and a slow smile takes his lips. “I think I follow you now.”

“I mean, I don’t know if I could be any more obvious,” Fjord says with a laugh. His hands drop to Caduceus’ shoulders, and he tilts forward, his forehead pressed to Caduceus’ clavicle, the scent of tea and dirt floating up to his nose.

“I apologize.”

Fjord blinks and lifts his head. “For what?”

A long finger traces the scar on his face, and a shiver nips up Fjord’s spine. “For making you think you were only a project to me.”

“I’m not?” Fjord asks.

“Maybe at first,” Caduceus admits, and he ducks his head, looks a bit embarrassed and ashamed possibly. It’s hard to tell. Fjord doesn’t think he’s ever seen Caduceus be either. “You deserve better than that.”

“Well. I was a bit of a mess,” Fjord says. “Still kind of am.” He sits back, his hands slip from Caduceus’ shoulders, but they don’t go far, because Caduceus captures them. He tangles their fingers together, their palms pressed tight.

“You saved yourself. You did all the work,” Caduceus says, and he squeezes Fjord’s fingers. He sounds so earnest, Fjord can’t help but believe him. “You’re amazing.”

Fjord wonders if he’s ever going to stop blushing ferociously around Caduceus.

“Um, thanks,” he says, and gnaws on his bottom lip for a second, feeling the harsh pressure of his stubby tusks. “Not that I’m not appreciative of the support, it’s just…” How does he put this into words? How can he explain what he wants when it’s still so new to himself?

“You’d rather I were a little less religious leader and a little more… boyfriend? Partner? Lover? I’m sorry, I don’t know the term you’re looking for,” Caduceus says, in that frank way he has, which Fjord simultaneously adores and hates a little.

Fjord coughs and stares hard over Caduceus’ shoulder, looking for something solid in this suddenly stormy sea where he’s been set adrift. “Any of those would work if you were interested.”

“I could be. Maybe.” Caduceus tilts his head back and looks up at his tree stretching over them, the magical lights twinkling brightly. “I’m gonna be honest with you, Mr. Fjord, I don’t really know what I’m interested in.”

“Could you just call me Fjord? For starters?”

Caduceus breathes out a little laugh. “I can do that. Sure. Fjord.”

Gods.

Fjord swallows over a lump in his throat, and then he has to hide behind his hand, because hearing his name on Caduceus’ lips shouldn’t send a bolt of lightning straight down to his groin, but it does.

“Thanks,” he says, and sucks in a deep breath, trying to calm the frantic flutter of his heart. “Anyway, you don’t have to say yes right now. Or no. If you want to think about it, I mean, I did kind of confess out of nowhere, and it’s really not the time.”

“The way things are going right now, it’ll never be the time.” Caduceus squeezes Fjord’s hand and gets that distant look he gets when he’s thinking about something.

“Now is good,” Caduceus says after a moment. “Now is the time.” He traces a finger around the curve of Fjord’s face, and there’s something so tender in it, Fjord melts a little more. “Let’s give it a try, shall we?”

“Are you sure?” Fjord’s heart pounds a mile a minute, and his skin flushes, and a quiet hope nestles deep in his belly.

Caduceus smiles and leans in, and he kisses Fjord by way of answer. It’s a bit unpracticed, slow and unsure, but he gains confidence quickly enough, and Fjord eagerly kisses back.

Calm washes through Fjord.

Everything else might be chaos, but at least he has this, for whatever it becomes.

****

a/n: Feedback is absolutely welcome and appreciated. Feel free to scream in the tags, in a reblog, in my inbox, whatever. I’d love to hear from the readers! <3

[shespeaksinsongs]

𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚎 | 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚘 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

a/n: this took me over a week to write because i was extremely lazy. this has quite a few american references. huge thank you to @marcela6malfoy and to everyone in the hp event! i love you guys! enjoy! <3

summary: draco and y/n, famous actors, loathe each other for separate reasons. although both are on the fast track to become a-listers, you know what'd get them there quicker? a fake relationship for the publicity. in the end, will it still be an act?

warnings/content: make out sesh, mentions of alcohol and smoking (none done by the reader) one instance of sexual harassment, cursing, angst w/ fluff ending, fame au, fem!reader

word count: 8.62k

reading time: 34 min, 28 sec

masterlist | request | taglist

I. BUSINESS OR PLEASURE?

"Look, Y/N, do you know why I called you here?" Y/N's manager, Dusty, asked, lighting a cigarette.

Y/N snatched the cigarette, putting it out in his untouched glass of water - he would've gone feral had it been in his glass of wine. "No, I don't, D, but I suspect it has something to do with the fact that you told me you'd quit smoking?" She asked, scanning the menu for something high in carbs, like a nice grilled cheese.

Dusty rolled his eyes, leaning forward in his chair. "Look, sweetheart, this is your career. I don't call the shots. You do. So what you're willing to do to advance yourself in this dark, dark world of Hollywood is up to you." He said, pointing to her heart, making her roll her eyes. "With that said, I called you here, on your day off, with a proposal."

Y/N looked at her manager suspiciously, taking a sip of her tea. "A proposal?" He nodded. "What kind of proposal, exactly?" She said, wiping her mouth with her napkin.

"Think of it as a business one." He said, clearing his throat before continuing. "Now, your new movie's coming out next year." He said, carefully observing Y/N's unsure expressions. "What would you say if I could get you on the A-list by, say, the end of this winter?"

"I'm listening." Y/N said, ignoring one of the paparazzo's pleas for her to smile for the camera from the other side of the bamboo separating the restaurant and the sidewalk.

"Draco Malfoy-"

"And... that's where I go deaf." Y/N said, leaning back in her chair to show her immediate disinterest, as she quickly answered a text from a casting director.

"No, no, Y/N, wait." He said, pulling his chair closer to the actress, who was still aggravated by the mention of the blond's name. "Listen to me, Y/N. Mr. Malfoy not only has immense talent-"

"-but immense self-importance, too. I can't work with someone who's only going to criticize my every move! And besides that, Dusty, he's quite simply intolerable."

Dusty placed his hand on Y/N's shoulder, trying to calm her. "But you haven't heard the rest - you wouldn't be working with him, Y/N." He said, smiling as Y/N's eyebrows raised in interest. "You'd be dating him!"

"Oh, cut me a fucking break. This isn't a business proposal; it's your death wish." She sighed, holding her head in her hands.

Her manager looked down at the menu in front of him and back at Y/N. "This could mean the beginning of your career's legacy, Y/N. Don't do this for him. Don't do it for me. Do it for yourself."

"He stole a role that could have gotten me millions, Dusty!" She exclaimed, recounting their history.

Years before that day, Y/N and Draco had only brushed paths a few times, none of them interested in each other enough to make any attempt at a conversation with the other.

On one of those fateful days, a casting call took place. The casting director had been up to her elbows in stress. Both Draco and Y/N would have been perfect for the role. All there was left to decide was if the main character would be named Neo or Nova.

Draco ran to his father, infamous in Hollywood for buying (and sleeping) his way to the top. Draco's father bribed the director to give Draco the role, and the rest was history.

"You know what? I'll do it. Fuck. What've I got to lose, right? Just my dignity..." Y/N muttered to herself.

Her manager nodded, understanding. "Perfect! I'll call his manager and let her know right away!" He smiled, letting his foot rest on his knee as he quickly dialed a number. "Stephanie? Splendid! Listen, I've got good news for you..."

II. FIRST IMPRESSIONS

"And we're only meeting for..."

"Just a few minutes to discuss business matters, nothing too out of the ordinary." Dusty answered, licking his finger and fixing a stray strand of hair on his head. Y/N watched him in fascination, never having seen him primp himself before. He cleared his throat before speaking. "Hey, uh, listen, Y/N; I know you don't like the guy. But just try to be likable. This could mean millions for you." He said, causing Y/N to nod, watching as he swallowed some breath spray, coughing some of it out.

Soon after their short conversation, the elevator doors opened to a large penthouse - perfect for a bleach-blond diva like Draco Malfoy. It was one of the many estates he owned. Being British, he used his home in LA strictly for business. Still, his apartment was decently decorated and mostly gave the impression that he had good interior design taste.

A man in formal wear, presumably the butler, rushed up to the pair, taking their coats and storing them in the coatroom.

"Y/N, Dusty, you made it!" Stephanie announced, going in for a hug and kiss on both cheeks. "Stephanie Romano, Draco's manager, so nice to meet you." She nodded, shaking Y/N's hand before going on to greet Dusty. "Oh, Dusty, it's been so long!" She said, making Dusty giggle like a little girl when she held his face close, kissing each cheek.

Y/N went to greet Draco on her own, shaking his hand firmly. "Y/N Y/L/N, nice to meet you." Y/N said, trying to mask her disgust with the man in front of her.

"Draco Malfoy." He said as if he was stating the obvious - as if everyone should know who he is.

When everyone was acquainted, they walked to the living room, fit for a bachelor such as Draco. His oil portrait was hung over the wide brick fireplace, making his head seem as big as his ego.

"Champagne?" Stephanie fake laughed as she poured herself a glass, which Y/N shook her head to.

Dusty nudged her in the arm, muttering a "be likable" through a fake smile.

"No, thank you, Stephanie." She smiled, and through the corner of her eye, she swore she could've seen Draco roll his eyes. "Let's just get the ball rollin', shall we?"

"Right, well, I've already discussed with Draco. We're hoping with this relationship," Draco and Y/N grimaced at the word, Stephanie noticing. "partnership, that both of you can grow as celebrities. Like Dusty proposed, Y/N, I'm sure this will get you on the A-list by the end of winter."

"Hm," Draco scoffed. "won't take me that long." He said, his eyes fixated on the coffee table that separated him and Y/N.

Stephanie took a deep breath, realizing he was due for another social training. "Right, well, Y/N, I'm just going to need you to sign a few things so that we can have your agreement in writing." She smiled, pulling out her tablet, which held all her important documents.

"Have you signed these, as well?" Y/N asked Draco, who seemed like he'd rather pick his nose and eat his boogers than in this predicament. "Excuse me, I'm speaking to you." She raised her voice, annoyed by the childish act Draco was holding up.

"Mr. Malfoy has signed these papers, yes." Stephanie answered for her client, her skin crimson from embarrassment. "Just sign at the bottom of each page." She said, handing Y/N a stylus.

Y/N took a few minutes to read the rest of the agreements while Dusty and Stephanie flirted endlessly. "Says here I'd have to partake in physical affection." She interrupted, raising a brow.

"That's right." Stephanie said, nodding.

"Well, to what degree are you insinuating?" Y/N asked, looking down at the empty space that awaited her electronic signature.

Dusty cut in, clearing his throat before doing so. "Just the regular hand-holding, kiss, cuddling in public places, all that jazz." He said, bouncing his leg restlessly.

Y/N nodded, continuing to read the agreement. "And how long do you expect us to keep this act going on?" She asked. "Your contract doesn't give a deadline."

"Christ, it's a relationship, not a homework assignment." Draco stated, annoyed. "We're done when I'm at the top of the game."

"I wasn't talking to you." Y/N sneered, looking at Stephanie, who was frozen. "How long?"

"It's January now; let's just say the first of April?" She asked all three, who were mulling it over in their heads.

"Fine by me." Y/N said, sighing deeply as she signed her name on the last page of their contract. "So, when do we start?" She asked, looking briefly at Draco, who seemed to be wondering the same thing. She made a mental note of him always having his eyes on her, observing her - as if she was some kind of science project.

"Well, we need to ease into this." Stephanie answered, nervously picking lint off of her skirt. "Both of you have a very... possessive fanbase. We wouldn't want them to feel like we were just springing this on them."

"Right, and we want you to feel comfortable with each other first." Dusty said, taking a swig of the whiskey he had in his flask. "That's why you two are going out for coffee tomorrow morning."

"Coffee?" Y/N and Draco said in unison, glaring at each other.

"Coffee." Stephanie confirmed, nodding. "Something quick, won't tip your schedules off too much, and low-key. It'll give you a nice chance to get to know each other."

"Uh-huh," Y/N said, already not liking the idea of having to spend an hour with the blond. "and what about paparazzi?"

Dusty cut in. "Already taken care of. Tipped them that both of you would be on the other side of town tomorrow morning, so make sure you both are on time."

"Alright." Y/N smiled. "Well, Stephanie, it's been a pleasure." She said, shaking her hand. "Draco." She nodded, thanking the butler for her belongings. "See ya tomorrow." She said, her voice trailing off as the elevator doors closed in front of her and her manager.

Dusty grinned a toothy grin at Y/N, who shook her head. "Better hope that groundhog buys you another six weeks of winter." Y/N said quietly, shrugging on her coat. "Because I have a feeling this is gonna take a long while."

III. BAD DATE

"Hey, I've been waiting for you forever." Draco said to Y/N, who'd just arrived.

She gave him a flat look before speaking. "I fucking saw you get dropped off by your driver a minute ago."

Draco shrugged, opening the door for Y/N before walking inside.

"Hi, what can I-"

"I'll have a short black coffee." He interrupted, pulling out a couple of $50 bills and slipping them to the cashier. "Make it snappy. I got somewhere to be." He whispered to the teenage boy behind the register before turning to Y/N. "Well? Don't just stare at me, order."

Y/N picked her jaw up from the floor and turned to the dumbfounded boy. "Just a tall hot chocolate, please. Thanks." She smiled apologetically as Draco swiped his card to pay for their drinks. "We should probably find someplace to sit while we wait." Y/N said, still shocked at how easy Draco found it to be rude.

"I'll get our drinks, you go sit. I'm texting someone right now." He said, waving her off, his eyes stuck on his screen.

"God, you're like a teenager." She said, scoffing as she found a small booth in the corner.

She was about to text Dusty with an update when Draco came by with the drinks, almost spilling them by how roughly he placed them on the table. "This place is filled with idiots." He sighed, sitting down as he took a sip of his beverage. "I asked for a black coffee, and one of them asks if I'd like sugar." He scoffed, sipping his drink some more.

Y/N swallowed down yet another urge to punch him in the throat when she remembered her status in the celebrity world. "So, what do you do for-"

"Hold on, hold on, I have to take this." Draco said, holding up a hand as he answered a call on his phone. "Hey, man. Nothing, just drinking my morning coffee. Yeah, yeah, how's the wife?"

Y/N drank her hot chocolate, looking around the room for anything even remotely more interesting than Draco's conversation.

Three men, all dressed in business suits, an old lady ordering a Trenta iced coffee, and two young girls peeking at Y/N over their books, whispering to each other.

Y/N's brows furrowed until she realized what they were doing.

Ping!

Y/N's phone lit up with an Instagram notification saying that @y/ny/l/n and @dracomalfoy had been tagged at one of the Starbucks locations. "Oh, shit." She said, watching at how quickly paparazzi clamored outside the store, just waiting to snap a pic of her and Draco together.

Y/N took a look at Draco, who was still talking loudly on the phone, and touched his hand briefly to get his attention. "I'm just gonna go to the girls' room, be right back." She smiled as Draco nodded dismissively.

Little did he know she would not, in fact, "be right back."

"Hey, is this the back entrance?" She asked an employee, who seemed to recognize her.

The employee nodded quickly. "Yes, it is! Oh, my God, Ms. Y/L/N, I love your work, I-"

"Call me Y/N. Do you think I could get out through here without the paps noticing?" She asked, smiling, pointing at the entrance now flooded with paparazzi.

"Yes, you can! Y/N, wait!" She said before Y/N could turn around to leave. "Could I please just have your autograph? For my little sister, Tina." She asked, pulling out a sharpie from her apron and handing her an unused cup.

"Of course." Y/N nodded. "Tina." She said, quickly writing a thank you note. "Thank you so much!" She whispered, quickly slipping through the back entrance before any other employees noticed.

Draco had been drinking his coffee for a few minutes before he saw someone, who wasn't Y/N, come out of the single-stalled restroom. "Shit." He muttered, noticing the hoard of paparazzi outside the establishment.

He dialed Y/N's number, having to call Stephanie to ask for it first. It rang a second before being sent to voicemail.

Hey, it's Y/N Y/L/N! I'm not here right now, but shoot me a message, and I'll get back to you as fast as I-

"Bullshit." Draco said, hanging up before getting an idea. "Hey, Dusty, I was just wondering where Y/N is." Draco said on the phone with Y/N's manager. "She said she was going to the restroom, but she hasn't returned in twenty minutes. I thought everything was going great! We were talking about our careers and discussed a second date!" He lied with a shit-eating grin on his face. "Is there something I don't know? Do you think I did something wrong?" He asked, feigning innocence.

"Oh, God." Dusty said to himself, disappointed. "Yes, Draco. Unfortunately, Y/N's been at home for the past few minutes. I'm so sorry about this. I know it's extremely unprofessional," He said as if he were reprimanding Y/N through the other side of the phone. "We'll work this out tonight, I promise."

And they did - in marriage counseling.

IV. COUPLES' THERAPY

"For this to work, you need to trust each other." The shrink said, watching the two's mannerisms as their eyes flitted around the room uncomfortably. She held her hands in her laps as she spoke. "How about an apology to one another?"

Draco sighed while Y/N nodded. "Sorry." Draco said underneath his breath, causing Stephanie to shoot him a sharp look.

"Like you mean it." She said, intimidating even the shrink.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." Draco huffed, as Y/N said it back, with the same lack of enthusiasm.

"Lovely! Oh, we're making progress! Would it be a reach if I asked you two to hug-"

"Actually, we're not there yet." Y/N smiled, waving her goodbye and thanking her as Stephanie escorted her out.

Stephanie smiled, taking another sip of her champagne as she sat back down on the couch with her tablet. "Tomorrow, at 9AM, you two have an appearance at the Getty Museum. This was going to be your "coming out" as a couple. But, since the paparazzi managed to get photos of you today," Y/N grimaced at the mention of the coffee shop fiasco, embarrassed. "it'll be more of a confirmation to the press that you're together."

Dusty continued Stephanie's statement, subtly winking at her, which she blushed at. "Additionally, the designer brand Gli Astro wants to do a collaboration with you both and will be dressing you tomorrow. Stephanie and I will meet you here at 7AM. Don't be late."

V. THE MUSEUM

"Why'd it have to be him? Why couldn't it be, "Hey, Y/N, what do you think about dating Andrew Garfield?"" Y/N said, fiddling with her trench coat as her makeup artist put the last touches on her eyeshadow.

"Y/N, as much as I'd love for you to be Megan Fox-" Draco said from his pedestal beside Y/N.

"Shut up, both of you. Before Petro comes back." Dusty cut Draco off, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're giving me a grade A migraine." He said, helping Y/N step down from the pedestal she was on.

Petro, the fashion executive of the brand Y/N and Draco, were modeling for, spoke as he entered the room, wheeling a vast mirror behind him. "My genius is done. What do you think?" He asked, pulling Draco to stand side-by-side next to Y/N.

Y/N smiled, stuffing down a laugh at how different Draco looked wearing anything but black. "I think we look great. Don't you, love?" She asked, leaning her head on Draco's shoulder.

Draco looked in the mirror; his jaw dropped. He thought he looked horrible, especially in "gardenia cream." Draco threw an arm around Y/N, pulling her close to him, despite feeling her muscles tense at his touch. "I think you look beautiful, angel." He said, looking down at her before 'lovingly' kissing her forehead. He noted the warm scent of her hair while doing so, having to remind himself of his distaste. Y/N glared at him menacingly before shrugging his arm off, coming up with the excuse that he was pulling her coat off.

"My work always brings lovebirds together. I am brilliant." Petro said, swooning at himself. "You must go. It is almost time for my hard labor to be enjoyed by the public!" He said, ignoring the angered looks on the other stylists' faces. "Go, go, go!" He said, rushing Y/N and Draco into the elevator, even pushing the lobby button for them.

As the metal doors closed, their reflection chased them. "God, we look like fucking Fred and George Weasley." Draco said, referring to the twin jokester comedians, as he stared at the reflective doors in front of him in disgust. They wore the same color palette that, somehow, made Draco look washed out, but Y/N look like the star of the show.

"We don't look that bad." Y/N laughed, looking up from her feet to look into their reflection once more. "Well, I don't, at least." She said, snickering at the scowl that was still on Draco's face.

Draco grabbed Y/N's hand as they entered the lobby, interlacing their fingers together. Paparazzi and fans screamed at them in craze as they threw questions at them, praying one of them would catch them. "Smile, precious." He said quietly into Y/N's ear as she waved at the cameras, trying to stay upright as the lights temporarily robbed her sight.

"That ensemble is beautiful! Who designed it?"

"What's your exercise regimen like?"

"Can you confirm recent statements that say you and Draco are dat-"

"Ms. Y/L/N. Mr. Malfoy." A chauffeur greeted, opening the door for the two as they slid into the backseat.

"It's crazy out there." Y/N said to herself, adjusting her hair.

Draco sighed, ending it with a small laugh. "Your fans are crazy." He said, messing with his hair, which had been ruffled by a teen girl who wore Y/N's merchandise.

Y/N shook her head, fighting a smile. "You know where to go, right?" She asked the driver, watching his eyes through his rearview mirror.

"Yes, miss. We will be there in five minutes if traffic allows." He said promptly. "Would you and your boyfriend like some privacy?" He asked, his finger lingering over the partition button.

"That would be lovely, thank you." She smiled, watching the last of his eyes disappear before being covered up by a black wall. "Gotta act like a couple, right?" She shrugged, looking outside Draco's tinted window. "Seems like you've a big fan there." She said quietly, pointing to a young woman who held up a glittery and flashy sign.

"Marry me, Draco." He read to himself, half-laughing at the shirt she wore with a Photoshopped picture of him and her, holding hands. "You certainly must've broken her heart." He joked, his voice steady, as he took in the sight of Y/N. Despite his dislike for her, he'd admit it - she was gorgeous, especially in the colors Petro dressed her in.

She shrugged again, laughing very slightly. "Should've told her you have a girlfriend before you got involved." She teased, looking out her window, watching as the palm trees of Los Angeles swayed in the wind.

The pair sat in silence for the rest of the car ride. "We're here." The chauffeur said, opening Y/N's door for her as Draco slid out the same side. "Thanks." He said, handing him a $50 bill for his tip.

"Thank you, sir." She smiled, giving the driver $51, which didn't go unnoticed by Draco as he rolled his eyes at her. "Look happy!" She said in a sing-song voice, smiling again for the cameras and fans crowded around the main entrance.

"Y/N, Y/N! Are you and Draco together? Can you confirm?" One reporter asked, waving his microphone rapidly between the two.

Y/N nodded as Draco took the mic and spoke into it. "We can confirm we are together, yes." He smiled down at Y/N, who was beaming, swinging their hands. "Thank you!" He said, leading Y/N towards the entrance.

"Draco, just a minute of your time, please! How long have you and Y/N been together? Any upcoming projects?" Another reporter asked, ignoring Y/N, who stood right next to Draco.

"Uh, I'll let Y/N answer that question since I stole her question back there." Draco half-laughed, unable to hear himself over all the "who are you wearing?"' s.

"We've been together for a few months." Y/N smiled, giving a lovesick look at Draco. It was obviously fake to him, but others didn't need to know that. "Nothing in the works!" She said as Draco pulled her to keep walking, the crowd and flashing lights beginning to overheat the two of them.

"Thank you, Ms. Y/L/N!" was the last thing the pair heard before they finally made it inside, where there was a distinct absence of paparazzi.

Y/N and Draco made their way to the front desk. "Good morning. We're just here to redeem some tickets." Draco said, pulling out his phone.

"I have them ready and printed right here! Please enjoy your afternoon." The customer service said, handing them two laminated tickets.

"Thank you!" Y/N said before Draco whisked her off to the exhibit.

Draco turned to Y/N, their fingers still intertwined. "You know, you are so... fake." He said, shaking his head as he put their tickets in his pocket.

"Me?" Y/N emphasized, her eyes widening in disbelief. "You're one to talk. Looking at me like that with the press?"

"Like what?" Draco asked, using the exact same expression Y/N was talking about. "I'm an actor, am I not?" He asked, smiling, not wanting the press to make up some elaborate story about their "public fight" because they were caught scowling at each other.

Y/N shook her head, scoffing. "You really only care about yourself."

The pair stopped talking and instead watched art pieces together in silence. Draco let out a slow whistle, indicating he was bored, pulling Y/N's hand to go see the next piece, but she stayed planted, feet on the floor.

"Are we not going?" Draco whispered to her as she took a deep breath, continuing to look at the painting in front of her.

"No. This is my favorite piece they have here." She said, eyeing 'Irises,' painted by Vincent Van Gogh.

Draco sighed, guiding her to a bench that a couple had just left. "Well, since we're going to stay here all eternity, we might as well get comfortable." He said passively, making Y/N bite the side of her cheek in order not to let out a laugh.

Minutes passed of Y/N watching the piece, mumbling to herself. "You look crazy. You know that, right?" He asked, watching her tilt her head at the painting.

"I see you're not used to being left alone with your thoughts this long." She said, looking into Draco's eyes. "Just look at it."

Draco stared at the painting, both not noticing that they were getting closer to each other. "I don't see anything-"

"You think so much. What-"

"As opposed to you thinking so little?" Draco retorted, which caused Y/N to smile brightly, noticing another paparazzo in disguise behind him.

"Look at the painting again." She repeated. "What do you feel? What does it make you feel?"

Draco's eyes widened as he sat at the bench, finally understanding what Y/N was going on about, not wanting to admit it. "I feel... like I want to leave."

"Ugh." Y/N groaned. "Let's just go to the blue bed."

"The blue bed?" Draco asked, looking at her worriedly.

Y/N half-laughed, unconsciously squeezing his hand. "It's, um... well, you'll see." She said as they walked past halls to reach the room with a giant blue bed. It was an art piece composed of ostrich feathers, gilded iron, and silk.

"This is..."

"Cool, isn't it?" She asked, letting go of Draco's hand to get up close and inspect the details on the headboard. "This must have taken months..."

"It's... a bed?" He said, unable to have much appreciation for this art style. "I think you've officially lost your mind." He whispered to Y/N lowly, watching her in awe at how someone could be so fascinated with something so unimportant. "I can get something nicer from Ikea."

"Oh, my God. That's not the point, Draco. This is the kind of bed royals would sleep in back in the 18th century. It's art!" She continued, despite Draco rolling his eyes. "Did you know a bed like this was quite a status symbol? In fact, one French king owned, like, 400 of them." She said, looking back at the bed.

Draco raised his eyebrows in interest. "Hm. Maybe I'll buy one, then."

"Please don't. They're hideous." She said while Draco laughed at her comment.

The pair walked throughout the museum with the same dynamic seen previously. Again, one would be enthused, the other just hungry and ready to leave.

Despite Y/N's conscience, Draco wasn't as bad as she made him out to be. At least not at the near-surface.

And despite Draco's, Y/N was quite humble about her successes, not feeling the need to bring them up like him. Unfortunately, the reminder that some are more evolved than the blond sent him spiraling back into his aversion for the young actress.

"You can suck my fucking balls." Draco said, smiling in a way only Y/N and their managers could see through. A waiter walking by had overheard, her eyes widening in shock.

"Mm, always been the classy one, Draco." She responded back, smiling softly. "You're so uptight, the stick up your ass is nearly coming out your mouth." She said, delicately caressing his hair, twirling her fingers through some loose curls that covered the nape of his neck.

It felt nice to be touched like that. Even when Y/N was saying such vulgar things. It was almost like if her touch would be as soft as it was, he didn't mind it.

Dusty and Stephanie hid the urge to roll their eyes while in the company of each other. Instead, Dusty spoke up. "Enough, you two. You've stalled long enough. You owe the paps a kiss." He said, tilting his head towards the mounds of paparazzi outside the window.

Draco looked at Stephanie with a look she would've giggled at if it wasn't so immature. Y/N seemed as if she was about to throw up, and that wasn't saying much compared to how she'd looked for the past thirty minutes.

Y/N was the first to turn to Draco. She eyed his lips for a second before her eyebrows furrowed, and her eyes closed, pulling the back of his head towards her as she closed the gap between them.

Stephanie smiled, putting more sauce on her Caesar salad as they pulled apart. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"

It really wasn't, not for Draco and not for Y/N. But both were too proud to admit that kissing each other wasn't an entirely utterly horrific experience like they were making it seem.

His lips were soft, warm. It's not like he was sloppy. He was the mere opposite, in fact. And Y/N was anything but uncalculated. Still, it seemed to Y/N that Draco would've rather gone broke than kiss her again.

The two sat in silence for the rest of the meal, stealing glances when they thought the other wasn't looking.

"So, tomorrow's the filming for the Super Bowl. Are you two excited?" Stephanie asked, fighting Dusty for the check.

Draco looked at Y/N in confusion, as if she ever knew what they were talking about. "What filming?" He asked, his cheeks turning red when his voice cracked with nervousness.

Dusty cleared his throat, slipping his credit card in the bill folder. "The Super Bowl has asked you to film a short commercial to get people excited for the game."

"Where are our scripts?" Y/N sighed, not in the mood to argue.

"Right here." Stephanie said, taking out her portfolio folder and handing each of them the one-page script. "It's a bit..."

"Sensual?" Y/N finished her sentence, going through the lines again, which included moaning.

She'd done scenes like that before. But always with somebody charismatic like Mark Ruffalo. Never with someone as stuck-up as Draco.

Stephanie nodded, shrugging her shoulders up. "It's the best I could do. People want to see you together."

Draco placed the script face down on the table. "Steph, half of my family's going to watch me practically dry hump Y/N." He said, making Y/N sink in her seat, embarrassed. "Isn't there any way-"

Dusty shook his head profusely. "This deal will get each of you $1 million. Just for a little bit of kissing that'll last about a minute, tops. Are you sure you're willing to pass up that offer?"

Y/N shook her head slowly, and Draco followed as if he was getting reprimanded by his mother. "Wonderful." Stephanie said, getting up, Draco following. "We'll see you two tomorrow." She said, giving Dusty a very long hug.

Draco drew Y/N close, eyeing the paparazzi, whispering something incomprehensible to them into her ear. "Pretend you're laughing and kiss my forehead." He said, rubbing her back as her arms were settled comfortably around his torso.

Y/N pulled away, mustering up a fake laugh that made it no wonder she'd gotten so many acting awards. "Bye, love." She said quietly, kissing his forehead. She'd realized the paparazzi weren't able to decipher what she was saying, especially not with her back to them. But between the warm affection and all the commotion surrounding them, she'd gotten caught in the moment.

Their managers watched them exchange sentiments with each other. Their jaws dropped at how they could be so close and tender, despite how they supposedly felt about each other.

"Uh… bye, Steph, it's always nice seeing you." Y/N smiled awkwardly, ashamed she'd let herself get so caught up in Draco's aura. His eyes bore into the side of her head.

"Bye, my dear." She whispered before pulling away, watching Y/N's ashamed expression as they walked away.

"Are you still acting, Y/N?" Dusty said, leading her to the car parked outside, waiting to take her home.

VI. STEAM

The director paced the room as Y/N anxiously pulled her shirt, trying to cover as much skin as possible before she had to get rid of her modesty again. "So, how about we do the kissing smooch smooch, blah blah blah, and the dialogue in between, then break the fourth wall?"

Draco nodded, still feeling awkward from what happened the day prior. Y/N nodded, too, afraid any word she said would come out wrong. It was the fifth take the director asked for. Any more, and you'd wonder if he was getting hot to it.

"Alright, let's do this, we got thirty minutes' till lunch, and I'm not stopping until it's perfect." He said, sitting back down in his director's chair. "And... action!"

Draco rolled on top of Y/N, his hand lingering up her torso under her shirt, as the script said. His wet kisses lingered on her skin as he began getting rougher, his grip on her tighter. "Good thing everyone's gone tonight." He whispered his lines, unknowingly over a spot Y/N felt dizzy for.

"What do you mean?" Y/N asked, suppressing a moan to save herself further embarrassment as Draco's warm hands squeezed around her waist even more.

"For the Super Bowl." Draco said softly as Y/N took her cue to switch their positions, so he was now under her. Draco moaned her name quietly, although both the microphone and Y/N picked up on it.

"Oh, right." She said, kissing down his chest, each kiss longer than the last. She moaned into his skin, sending vibrations lower than she'd planned. Then, she turned to the camera beside her and Draco, looking in the lens, as Draco followed a second later. "You are coming to the Super Bowl, right?"

"And... cut!" The director said excitedly. "That's it, that's a wrap! That was perfect, you two, really great work." He said, adjusting his pants.

Dusty, standing by, quickly handed her a pair of shorts, socks, and shoes as Stephanie gave Draco a shirt.

Draco nodded at Y/N and headed to the sound editor, who sat in a corner on his third cup of coffee. "Hey, man, could you fix the part where-"

"The part where you moaned her name? Already on it, Post can fix anything." He said almost robotically, his eyes glued to the screen as he typed at lightspeed.

"Thanks, man." He said, sighing as he headed out the building to his trailer.

Y/N retreated to her trailer soon after, having overheard the conversation between Draco and the sound editor. She looked at herself in the mirror, sighing when she felt something poking the arch of her foot. She took her sneakers off to reveal a silver ring engraved 'DM.'

This must've come off while he was touching my- Y/N shook the thought as quickly as it came, utterly afraid of herself and her feelings at the moment.

She walked out of her trailer, nearly tripping over one of the steps for focusing so much on what she was going to say once she got in. She knocked on Draco's door twice before walking in.

"Hey, Draco, you left your- oh, God." She said, covering her eyes. Some girl, who looked remarkably like Y/N (Y/E/C eyes, Y/H/C hair, and her same smile), gasped in shock. She removed herself from on top of Draco, utterly embarrassed that she'd been kissing a taken man. "I'm- I'm sorry." Y/N said to Draco, dropping the ring on a table. Beginning to step out, she took a deep breath, walking quickly back to her trailer.

"Y/N! Y/N, wait!" Draco exclaimed, pulling on his shirt quickly as he let himself into her trailer. "Y/N." He said softly, watching her pack up her belongings.

She sniffled very slightly, afraid he'd notice the tears pooling up in her eyes. "I should've waited for you to answer the door. It's my fault." She said, looking down at her feet. Never in her life did she regret having met him more than in that moment. She'd fallen for him - Draco Malfoy, the obnoxious, self-absorbed asshole. She'd fallen for him, and it felt like there was no way out.

"Y/N, please just let me talk to you." Draco said, holding her in place by her arms.

Y/N's lip quivered as she inhaled his scent, something she'd learned to miss when in its absence. "There's nothing to talk about, Draco. You're allowed to have a life. It's not like this is real, anyway." She said, pulling a sweater on.

"What do you mean this isn't real? Y/N, of course, it's real! We signed a contract!" Draco yelled, making Y/N shake from holding in her sobs. "For fuck's sake, you're an actress! Act like you love me back!" He said, making Y/N wipe several tears out of her eyes.

She took a deep breath, holding back everything she could, including her true sentiments for him. "Acting and lying are polar things, Draco." She said, a tear sliding down her cheek. Draco swore his heart had never been so sore. "We have to make a brief appearance before we go home. Are you coming?" She said, sniffling her nose once more, extending her hand for him to hold.

He grabbed her hand, holding it tighter than he ever had, as if to show his hurt, knowing she wanted nothing more at that moment than for him to just leave her alone. Then, as they made their way out of the building, where paparazzi were piled up, Y/N squeezed his hand as if to remind him to smile.

They waved to the cameras, ignoring the questions they would have usually answered under different circumstances.

"Y/N, are you and Draco going home together?"

"Draco, how's the girlfriend?"

"Don't touch me." Y/N said to a paparazzo who'd been getting very handsy with her. She continued walking, her grip on Draco's hand a little tighter, and her body a little closer to his, as she felt his hands on her hip again. "I said, don't touch me!"

"Who touched you?" Draco asked Y/N, whipping to the side, looking the man in his eyes. "You touch her?" He said, letting go of Y/N's hand to approach the reporter.

"Yeah." The unsightly man laughed in his face. "She felt nice."

Y/N looked at Draco with wide eyes, never seeing him look so... predacious. Y/N tugged on his jacket, pulling him towards the car that was waiting for him, wary of the people watching. "It's okay, love, let's just-"

"You sick piece of shit, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Draco said, punching the man in the face. Then, with a bleeding nose, the reporter brought his camera up to Draco's face, snapping a picture.

"Draco!" Y/N gasped. The paparazzi choked, and even the flashing stopped for a moment before Draco spoke again.

"Oh, I'm gonna fuck you up." He said quietly before he shoved the camera to the floor, holding the man by the collar and kicking him right where it hurt. "Don't you ever," He said, kicking his stomach. "think you can," Security had now come for both Y/N and Draco's safety, as both were being whisked away to the car. "touch my girl ever again." He yelled, flipping the cameras off behind the car window before driving off.

Dusty and Stephanie stayed silent in the car's third row, shocked.

Y/N's heart raced as she looked out the window, praying she wouldn't cry in front of Draco and their managers.

Dusty tried to reprimand Y/N for not doing more, and Stephanie tried disciplining Draco for getting involved in something "trivial to his career." But not a word got through to any of them. All they were thinking of now was how fucked they were.

There were no more snarky remarks from him. No sarcastic quips from Y/N. It was just silent.

Draco's fist clenched around his seatbelt, his knuckles white, clenching his hand every once in a while from how sore it was. Maybe if he had accepted that he was entirely entranced by the idea of Y/N, maybe if he'd seen how she could light up any room she was in with her smile, maybe if he'd known that he'd fallen for her, this wouldn't have happened. But, alas, we don't all get what we want.

"Y/N, your stop. Have a lovely evening." The driver said, stopping in front of her apartment building as if he hadn't seen what had gone down just a few minutes prior.

"See you." Y/N said to Draco quietly, kicking herself for even addressing another word to him.

Surely what she felt for him, he felt for her, too. Otherwise, he wouldn't have defended her the way he did. The thing was - Y/N would've given anything just to know how he felt about her. Even if he didn't feel a way about her at all.

VII. AFTERMATH

She'd been cooped up in her apartment for a week now, only answering to her manager, asking him to cancel various appointments she had planned for the next few days.

A knock at the door was all she needed to distract her as she played Jenga with herself in her dining room.

"Who is it?" She called, pulling a wooden block out the side.

"Guess." Stephanie said, knocking on the door again. "Let me in. We must talk." She said, tapping her foot against the carpeted floor.

Y/N stayed quiet, pulling one more block out before the tower collapsed, making her jump slightly at the sudden noise.

She sighed, rolling her eyes and getting up to tend to the woman at the door. Stephanie smiled promptly and strutted in, a lattice basket in hand. "Come in, I guess." Y/N said before shutting the door behind her.

She sat down in the living room, crossing her legs before taking off her gloves, spreading out multiple magazines over Y/N's coffee table.

"And this is?" Y/N asked, pouring Stephanie a glass of champagne, her favorite.

Stephanie sat back, taking a sip before answering. "All the news publications that have written about you and Draco's "tragic breakup" since you decided your feelings are more important than your career." She said, watching Y/N pick up a random magazine and read the cover to herself. "Oh, this basket is for you, by the way, my dear." She said, placing her homemade care package on the ground as Y/N's eyes scanned the article on the trashy magazine cover.

"Did he really say this?" She said, defeated, holding up a copy of Celebrity Worldwide.

"SHE'S AN UGLY COW WHO CAN GO TO HELL!" CELEBRITY DRACO MALFOY SAYS ABOUT Y/N Y/L/N ON PG. 20.

Y/N glanced at the magazine cover once more before shaking her head to herself, tears dropping out of her eyes.

Stephanie pulled her close, letting Y/N cry into her shoulder as she tenderly stroked her hair - the way a mother would. "Of course not, dear." She said quietly, humming a tune. "But maybe he'll have a similar sentiment if you don't come out of this cave." She said, smiling at the small laugh that escaped Y/N's mouth.

Y/N looked into Stephanie's gray eyes, sitting up, as she unwrapped the care package to take out a frosted treat. "Cookie?" She asked guiltily, her mouth full.

Stephanie shook her head as she sighed before speaking. "Y/N - Draco's got a good heart. He may seem like he hates you, but trust that he's hurting. You need to talk to him. In the ten years, I've worked for him, I've never ever seen him like this. He's torn up. Eating cookies and drinking hot chocolate," She said, pointing to the empty pack of hot chocolate mix Y/N had on her dining table. "as soothing as it is, it isn't going to fix the issue at hand. You need to talk to him."

Y/N sighed, afraid of the thought of confronting the tall blond. "He's going to hate me."

"Have you seen the way he looks at you? Come on." She smiled to herself, being reminded of Dusty. "He'd be crazy to hate you. And you'd be crazy not to notice how much he likes you." She said, making Y/N blush.

"I'll talk to him." Y/N said, shuffling through the rest of the contents of the gift basket Stephanie had made her. "Chocolate?"

VIII. MISUNDERSTANDINGS

The clouds loomed over California - an occurrence that felt a bit more depressing the longer Y/N and Draco were estranged.

Y/N stood in front of his door, mentally preparing herself for any possible outcome of this visit. She shut her eyes, cracking her neck, before knocking on the tall double doors that marked Draco's apartment.

Draco opened the door, shirtless, messy-haired, his sweatpants stained. He eyed Y/N, who looked like she'd just seen a ghost, up and down, taking in a sight he'd missed for as long as he'd been away from it. She nervously fiddled with a belt loop on her jeans as she gnawed down on her cheek - one of her nervous habits, Draco had noticed.

"Can we talk? Please?" She asked, searching for a glimmer of the same desire she held in her eyes for him.

Draco nodded, tilting his head towards the inside. "Come in." He said, closing the door behind him as they made their way onto his loveseat couch. Draco quickly put on a shirt to hide that he hadn't worked out in days.

The two stared at each other, heartbreak in their eyes, with neither of them knowing it. "I'm so sorry, Draco." Y/N said, feeling her face heat up. "I made you lose deals, your reputation lowered because of me, and I just-" Draco sat up quickly, pulling her in for a hug - the first sincere embrace they'd shared, despite being so affectionate in front of the public so many times.

"Don't cry." His low voice rumbled as he rubbed her back, attempting to soothe her as her arms wound tighter around his neck. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who should be sorry."

Y/N separated herself, fixing her hair behind her ears. "What?" She asked, her brow unconsciously raising itself in confusion.

"I wasn't being fair at all. This whole thing was blown way out of proportion by me, and I was being so stupid. And the truth is, I was really only kissing that girl in my trailer because… well, she looked like you. I don't," Draco sighed heavily, wondering if his apology was getting through to Y/N at all. "I don't deserve you as a fake girlfriend." He said, making Y/N laugh, shoving his arm.

The two smiled at each other in a light-hearted silence before Draco asked a question that'd been bothering him since they'd stopped speaking.

"So you didn't say all those things in the press?" He asked, hope evident in his blue eyes.

Y/N shook her head, remembering what foul things she'd apparently told J-14 magazine. "You know me better than that, Draco." She giggled at him, who was swiping fake sweat off his forehead. "You're not too bad, I don't think. I was wrong about you."

Draco smiled through his words as he spoke again. "You know, I never said you were an ugly cow or a clay-brained robot incapable of feeling."

Y/N's body sprung up as she looked at him in confusion. "I didn't read that last one."

"Ooh. Stay away from People magazine, then." He said quietly, making Y/N giggle again. "You're actually quite…" Draco looked at Y/N, her eyes slightly red, skin clear, and lips puffy from crying. "Beautiful."

The word caught Y/N by surprise. Talk show hosts and interviewers and fans had called her that before, but it had never made her so speechless the way it did when Draco said it. "Me?" She asked, pointing to herself.

"I don't see anybody else here." He said, eyeing her lips again.

Y/N smirked, subtly inching closer to Draco, although it didn't go unnoticed by him. "You're not so bad yourself, I suppose." She said quietly, gasping before Draco pulled her to his lips.

It started out soft and innocent. They'd kissed before, but never like this - never in privacy.

Her warm lips traced his soft ones as they glided across each other as if it were a dance.

Y/N giggled at the thought that she and he were really doing this. Draco chuckled, continuing to kiss her through the haze. Their noses bumped against each other the more into it they grew, Y/N's fingers pulling Draco's ends. Even when they'd finally pulled away to allow each other to breathe, Draco rested his forehead on hers, licking his lips before giving her one more kiss.

"I can't get enough of you." Draco whispered, panting against Y/N's mouth, the corners of her lips quirking upwards.

"Well, I'm right here." Y/N answered, having gained enough breath to continue their kiss, tasting subtle mint notes on Draco's tongue.

"I fell for you first." Draco bragged, feeling his body relax as if the world had no stress or worries.

"You did not." Y/N said as Draco began kissing down her neck.

"Did, too." He said, coming back up for just one more kiss.

IX. EPILOGUE

Draco babbled with one of Dusty and Stephanie's twins in his arms, making funny faces, trying to amuse the small boy. At the same time, his girlfriend, Y/N, answered a fan's question at a film promotion for their new movie together.

"His sense of humor." She answered, bouncing the other twin on her knee. The crowd smiled at the babies, their adorable chubby faces lighting up at the sight of the audience.

"Oh, one more question." The same person from the previous question said. "Draco, what was your favorite scene to film?"

Draco chuckled into the mic, letting the baby in his arms play with his rings. "That one's easy. The scene where Y/N wore a pregnancy belly." He said, feeling himself glow red as the audience let out "ooh's." "It's not- come on, it's not like that, guys!" He said, making the audience laugh. "It was just endearing to see her like that." He said, gawking at the pretty girl sitting next to him, who was looking at him with the same lovesick eyes. "Alright, alright, next question?" He said jokingly.

"This one's for Draco - um, what was the best part about working on the film?" A young girl asked, clearly nervous about speaking in front of such a large crowd.

"Probably being with my girlfriend all the time. I'm sorry, I know I'm making all these answers about her, I can't help it." A chorus of "aw's" escapes from the audience. Draco grins, nodding, as Y/N playfully shoves his arm.

It only takes one person in the crowd to say it before everyone else is influenced: "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" The audience said, each chant louder than the last.

"What do you say? Should we give the people what they want?" Draco smirked, covering their mics as the chants kept getting louder.

Y/N smiled, nodding as she closed her eyes and leaned in for a kiss, but not before Draco covered the twins' eyes, their feet kicking to see what they were missing.

"No one I'd rather be with than you." Draco said, pecking her lips one more time, admiring his world.

"Ditto."

---

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[ofdarkestdesires]

The Canon Muse List of Of Darkest Desires and Darkest Desires Erotica

So many people have been asking about this...for years now. I specifically don't list the canon characters that I write for because that list is lengthy, and changes with the wind and my personal muse. However, since it is a new year, I suppose it's time we did a full canon character list for this blog. And, as an added note, I will also add at the end of each section notable OC muses that belong to these specific worlds.

Quick key before we get to the list, though: if a character is one of my favorites, they will be bolded and colored. If a character can be written genderswapped, they will be italicized. If a character is written non-canonically, they will be struck-through.

Avatar: Aang, Katara, Sokka, Prince Zuko, Toph Beifong, Suki, Jet, Azula, Mai, Ty-Lee, Princess Yue, Kyoshi, Korra, Mako, Bolin, Asami Sato, Kuvira

Bleach: Ichigo Kurosaki, Rukia Kuchiki, Orihime Inoue, Yasutora "Chad" Sado, Uryu Ishida, Tatsuki Arisawa, Yoruichi Shihoin, Kisuke Urahara, Kukaku Shiba, Sosuke Aizen, Rangiku Matsumoto, Toshiro Hitsugaya, Sui-Feng, Shunsui Kyoraku, Nanao Ise, Isane Kotetsu, Yachiru Retsu Unohana, Isshin Shiba-Kurosaki, Neliel tu Odelschwanck, Grimmjow Jaegerjacques, Tia Harribel, Francheska Mila Rose, Ulquiorra Cifer, Coyote Starrk, Lisa Yadomaru, Mashiro Kuna, Kensei Muguruma, Kirio Hikifune, Bambietta Basterbine, Meninas McAllon, Candice Catnipp // Ryuko Yorukitai

Critical Role: Vax'ildan, Vex'ahlia, Keyleth, Grog Strongjaw, Percy De Rolo, Pike Trickfoot, Scanlan Shorthalt, Allura Vysoren, Kima, Cassandra De Rolo, Delilah Briarwood, Sylas Briarwood, Caleb Widogast, Nott the (Thicc) Brave, Veth Brenatto, Jester Lavorre, Fjord Stone, Beauregard Lionette, Mollymauk Tealeaf, Kingsley Tealeaf, Yasha Nydoorin, Essek Theylyss, Reini, Queen Leylas Kryn, Imogen Temult, Laudna, Ashton Greymoore, Orym, Dorian Storm, Fearne Calloway // Scourge Maelstrom, Twilight Obsidia, Verdexis Sylvain

DC Comics: Bruce Wayne (Batman), Dick Greyson (Nightwing), Jason Todd (Red Hood), Barbara Gordon (Batgirl), Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Selina Kyle (Catwoman), Clark Kent (Superman), Lois Lane, Supergirl, Powergirl, Starfire, Blackfire, Rachel Roth (Raven), Princess Diana (Wonderwoman), Darkseid, Aquaman

Disney: Princess Jasmine, Genie, Jafar, Aladdin, Mulan, Esmeralda, Nani Pelekai, Moana, Maui, Queen Elsa, Pocahontas, Princess Ariel, Ursula, Merida, Princess Kida, Megara, Jessica Rabbit, Kim Possible, Shego, Pacifica Northwest, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Wendy Corduroy, Eda Clawthorn, Lilith Clawthorn, Amity Blight, Luz Noceda, Willow, Hunter, Helen Parr, Violet Parr

Fairy Tail: Natsu Dragneel, Lucy Heartfilia, Gray Fullbuster, Erza Scarlet, Wendy Marvell, Mirajane Strauss, Lisanna Straus, Cana Alberona, Juvia Lockster, Gajeel Redfox, Laxus Dreyar, Ultear Milkovich, Jellal Fernades, Minerva Orland, Sting Eucliff, Rogue Cheney, Yukino Agria, Sorano "Angel" Agria, Erik "Cobra", Irene Belserion, Brandish // Nyx Sylvain

Final Fantasy: Tifa Lockhart, Cloud Strife, Aerith Gainsborough, Barret Wallace, Jessie Raspberry, Yuffie, Scarlet, Sephiroth

Harry Potter: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Daphne Greengrass, Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, Cho Chang, Parvati Patil, Padma Patil, Lavender Brown, Bellatrix Lestrange, Nymphadora Tonks, Fleur Delacour, Fred and George Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Voldemort // Romulus Antares Lestrange-Black

Marvel Comics: Spider-Man (Peter Parker), Spider-Gwen, Miles Morales, Black Cat (Felicia Hardy), Mary-Jane Watson, Scarlet Witch (Wanda Maximoff), Black Widow (Natasha Romanoff), Iron Man (Tony Stark), Captain America (Steve Rogers), She-Hulk (Jennifer Walters), Wolverine (Logan), Wolverine (X-22), Kitty Pride, Thor, Loki, Jean Grey, Storm, Rogue, Wasp (Janet Van Dyne), Nebula, Black Panther (T’challa), Black Panther (Shuri), Captain Marvel

My Hero Academia: Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, Toshinori Yagi (All Might), Ochako Uraraka, Momo Yaoyorozu, Todoroki Shoto, Mina Ashido, Kirishima Ejirou, Tsuyu Asui, Toru Hagakure, Yu Takeyama (Mt Lady), Nemuri Kayama (Midnight), Rumi Usagiyama (Miruko), Mei Hatsume, Itsuka Kendo, Camie Utsushimi, Keigo Takama (Hawks), Nejire Hado, Himiko Toga, Dabi, Nomu // Tetsuga Bushido (Iron Midknight)

Naruto: Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, Kakashi Hatake, Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akimichi, Ino Yamanaka, Hinata Hyuuga, Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame, Kurenai Yuhi, Tenten Higurashi, Anko Mitarashi, Tsunade Senju, Gaara no Sabaku, Temari no Sabaku, Kankuro no Sabaku, Tayuya, Orochimaru, Mei Temuri, Raikage Ei, Samui, Mabui, Yugito Nii, Konan, Kushina Uzumaki

Nintendo: Princess Zelda (SS/TP/BotW), Link (BotW), Ganondorf (TP/BotW Rehydrated), Impa (SS/Warriors), Midna, Urbosa, Riju, Mipha, Sidon, Paya, Purah, Robbie, Princess Peach, Bowser, Bowsette, Princess Daisy, Pauline, Donkey Kong, Luigi, Samus Aran

One Piece: Nami, Nico Robin, Yamato, Boa Hancock, Luffy D. Monkey, Portgas D. Ace, Trafalgar Law, Roronoa Zoro

Pokemon: Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, Misty, Lt. Surge, Sabrina, Lorelei, Bruno, Lance, Giovanni, Gold, Silver, Krystal, Whitney, Jasmine, Clair, Karen, Brenden, May, Roxanne, Brawley, Flannery, Winona, Tate, Liza, Maxie, Archie, Admin Shelly, Admin Courtney, Phoebe, Drake, Steven, Wallace, Lucy, Anabel, Lucas, Dawn, Cheryl, Gardinia, Fantina, Volkner, Commander Mars, Commander Jupiter, Lucian, Cynthia, Hilbert, Hilda, Rosa, Ashley (B/W Mom), Lenora, Cheren, Bianca, Roxie, Elesa (B2W2), Skyla, Brayden, N, Caitlyn, Grimsley, Shauntal, Marshall, Iris, Professor Kukui, Professor Burnet, Olivia, Guzma, Lusamine, Sonia, Leon, Bede, Marnie, Nessa, Kabu, Bea, Gordie, Melony, Raihan, Oleanna, Klara, Honey, Burgundy (Scar/Vi Mom), Cylene, Adaman, Irida, Arezu, Mai, Ingo, Palina, Gaeric, Lady Cogita, Nemona, Penny, Arvin, Dendra, Saguaro, Raifort, Brassius, Katy, Iono, Tulip, Grusha, Professor Sada, Professor Turo, Mela, Giacomo, Atticus, Eri

RWBY: Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna, Yang Xiao-Long, Jaune Arc, Nora Valkyrie, Pyrrha Nikos, Lie Ren, Glynda Goodwitch, Professor Ozpin, Cardin Winchester, Coco Adel, Fox Alistair, Velvet Scarletina, Yatsuhashi Daichi, Roman Torchwick, Cinder Fall, Emerald Sustrai, Mercury Black, Neopolitan, Hei Xiong, Miltia Malachite, Melanie Malachite, May Zedong, Arslan Atlan, Sun Wukong, Adam Taurus, Qrow Branwen, Raven Branwen, Taiyang Xiao-Long, Summer Rose, James Ironwood, Salem, Oscar Pine, Kali Belladonna, Ghira Belladonna, Sienna Khan, Ilia Amiitola, Saphron Cotta-Arc, Terra Cotta-Arc, Winter Schnee, Willow Schnee, Harriett Bree, Elm Ederne // Stark Ryker/Fall, Fenris Silbern, Russet "Rusty" Vulcan, Hozukimaru Wukong, Cherrybomb Alistair, Baelfieyr Zirconia, Zephyr Zirconia-Nikos, Scarlet Zirconia-Nikos, Lupin Zirconia-Nikos, Bast Zirconia-Belladonna, Shrike Zirconia-Branwen, Kyrstal Zirconia-Schnee, Sirius Silbern, Orion Braith, Clay Taurus

Skyrim: Yngvelja Ashkeeper (Dragonborn), Serana Volkihar, Lydia, Aela the Huntress, Mjoll the Lioness, Maven Black-Briar, Astrid, Queen Elisif, Thalmor Ambassador Elenwen

Xenoblade: Shulk, Reyn, Fiora, Dunban, Sharla, Melia, Rex, Pyra, Mythra, Malos, Jin, Nia, Mòrag Ladair, Brighid, Vandham, Eunie, Mio // Gairic Dáraig

Other: Chel Dorado, Ember McClain, Desiree, Danny Phantom, Gwen Tennyson, Charmcaster, Ben Tennyson, Kevin Levin, Gwen (TDI), Courtney (TDI), Bridgette (TDI), Heather (TDI), Bulma Briefs, Android 18, Android 21, Bayonetta, Lara Croft, Daenerys Targaryen, Sansa Stark, Jon Snow, Melissandra, Sandor Clegane

[scorpionyx9621]

Do you think Jason Todd fandom is kinda toxic? Because it seems like NO MATTER what DC do, there'll always be complains. Forget the bad adaptation like Titans. Even Judd Winick cannot escape the criticism with how he potrayed Robin!Jason. They just never satisfied.

SORRY, IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THIS. I just moved from Washington D.C. to Seattle, which, for my non-American friends, that's 4442km away. And I DROVE THERE ALL BY MYSELF. And now I'm trying to find new work in a new city and trying to stay mentally healthy and positive. Life is exciting but hard and scary.

*sighs*

As someone who was a fandom elder with V*ltr*n. I've seen some of the worst when it comes to fandom behavior. I'm talking people baking food with shaving razors and trying to give them to the showrunners. I'm talking leaking major plot details and refusing to take it down unless they make their ship canon (I am looking at you, Kl*nce stans) For the most part, DC Comics has had a decades-long reputation of treating their fans like trash and not caring what they think so from what I've seen, we all just grumble and complain in our corners of the internet about how we don't like how X comic portrays Jason Todd.

The challenge with Jason Todd is that he's your clinical anti-hero, the batfamily's Draco in Leather Pants, he's a jerkass woobie, and on top of all of that, he's a Tumblr sexyman. It's a perfect storm for a very fun but frustrating character to be a fan of. It doesn't help that every writer decides to re-invent the wheel every time Jason comes up so his canon lore is confusing at best and inconsistent as a standard.

I guess starting with a general brief on who Jason is and what is uniform about him with every instance he's appeared in comics/media.

Grew up in a poor family in Gotham with a dad who was a petty-mid-level criminal, and a mother who dies of a drug overdose.

Survives on the street on his own by committing petty crimes and potentially even engaging in sexual acts to keep himself alive.

Is cornered by Batman and taken in after Dick Grayson quits/is fired

Becomes the second Robin, but is known for being the harsher, more brutal Robin.

Is killed by Joker after being tortured, but somehow comes back to life and regains senses through the Lazarus Pit

Resolves himself to be better than Batman by basically being Batman but kills people.

Where there has been a lot of conflict in the fandom is the fact that Jason Todd is not a character that is written consistently. DC Comics loves to go with the narrative that Jason was "bad from the start" and was the "bad robin" when, yes, he has trouble controlling his anger, but he also still is just as invested in seeing the best of Gotham City and trying to be a positive change for the world as any other DC Comics hero.

Where I get frustrated with the fandom is its ability to knit-pick every detail of a comic they don't like while completely disregarding everything that makes the comics great and worth it to read. My example being Urban Legends. To which most people had pretty mixed reactions to. I was critical of the comic at first but as it went along I ended up really liking it. I have a feeling DC Comics went to Chip Zdarsky and told him he had 6 issues to bring Jason back into the Bat Family, and honestly he didn't do a bad job. Did it feel rushed? Absolutely. I wish there was more development of Jason and Bruce's characters and their dynamic as a whole. However, where I see a lot of people being angry and upset with Urban Legends is that they feel Zdarsky needlessly wrote Jason as an incompetent fool who needs Bruce to save him.

Whether or not that was the intention of Zdarsky is up to debate. However, and this may be controversial, but I don't think he wrote Jason Todd out of character at all. For as fearsome, intimidating, and awesome as Red Hood is. Jason is a character who is absolutely driven by his emotions. Why do you think he donned the role of Red Hood? As a response to his anger towards The Joker for killing him, and towards Bruce for not taking action against The Joker and for seemingly replacing him so quickly after he died. Jason didn't care about being the murderous Robin Hood or for being the bloody hammer of justice against N*zi's and P*d*ph*les. He only cared originally about making The Joker and Bruce pay. It wasn't until he trained under the best assassins in the world and realized most of them were horrific criminals who trafficked children and were p*dos that Talia began to realize that the teachers that she sent Jason to train under started dying horrific and painful deaths.

The entire story of the Cheer story in Batman Urban Legends was started because it finally forced some consequences upon Jason. Tyler, aka Blue Hood's father was a drug dealer who gave his supply to his wife and kids. And when Tyler's father admitted he gave the drugs to Tyler, it immediately made him fall within the self-imposed philosophical kill-list of Jason Todd. And Jason, well, he proceeds to kill Tyler's father. When this happens, Jason is in shock. Tyler's dad fit the bill to easily and justifiably be killed by Jason. We've never seen Jason having to deal with the consequences of being a murderous vigilante on a micro-level. When Jason realizes what he's done in that he's murdered Tyler's dad, he's shocked. He tells Babs the truth. He does a rational thing because he's in shock. He doesn't know what to do, he never has had to face the consequences of his actions as Red Hood and now the gravity of befriending a child as a vigilante hero who kills people just set in when he killed the father of the same child he was just introduced to.

(Oh here's a little aside because it had to be said, Jason would not have been a good father or a good mentor to Tyler and absolutely should not have been his new Robin. Jason is a man who is in his early 20's (not saying men in their early 20's can't be good fathers at all) who is a brutal serial killer using the guise of a vigilante anti-hero to let him escape most of the law. the complications of having the man who murdered your father adopt you and make you his sidekick are way too numerous for me to explain in a long-winded already heavy Tumblr essay post. There's a reason why we don't advocate for a story where Joe Chill adopted Bruce Wayne or one where Tony Zucco took in Dick Grayson.)

The next biggest argument is that they feel that Jason is giving up his guns as a means to just be invited back into the Bat-Family. To which I will tell anyone who has that argument to go actually read Urban Legends. Already have and still have that argument? Please re-read it. Don't want to? That's okay, I will paste the images from the comic where Jason specifically says that he doesn't want to give up his weapons for Bruce and his real reasoning down below since the comic isn't exactly readily accessible.

Jason gave up the guns because he felt the gravity of what he had done and knows how it'll effect Tyler. Thankfully his mom is alive and in recovery. But Tyler doesn't have a father anymore. And Jason killed Tyler's father. It may have been in accordance to Jason's philosophy, but it was a case where it blurred the lines. Jason Todd isn't a black and white character, just very dark gray. He doesn't kill aimlessly like the Joker. If you are on Jason's list you probably have done something pretty horrific, and also just in general, being in his way or being a threat to him. Mind you, in early days of Red Hood and the Outlaws (Image below) Jason almost killed 10 innocent civilians in a town in Colorado all because they saw him kill a monster. That being said, Jason isn't aimless in his kills.

(Also can we just take a moment to appreciate Kenneth Rocafort's art? DC Comics said we need to rehabilitate Jason Todd's image and Kenneth Rocafort said hold my beer: It's so SO GOOD)

That being said, the key emphasis in the story of Cheer asides from trying to introduce Jason Todd back into the Bat Family and give an actual purpose for him being there, other than him just kind of being there ala Bowser every time he shows up for Go Kart racing, Tennis, Golf, Soccer, and the Olympic games when Mario invites him, is that Jason and Bruce ultimately both want the same thing. Jason wants to be welcomed back into the family and to be loved and appreciated. Bruce want's Jason back as his son and wants to love and protect Jason. Both of these visions are shown in the last chapter of Cheer while under the effect of the Cheer Gas. It's ultimately this love and appreciation they both have for each other that helps them overcome their challenge and win.

Jason Todd is a character who, just like Bruce, has been through so much pain and so much hate in his life. The two are meant to parallel each other. While Bruce chose to see the best in everyone, giving every rogue in his gallery the option to be helped and give them a second chance, hence why he never kills, Jason has a similar view on wanting to protect the public, but he understands that some crimes are so heinous they cannot be forgiven, or that some habitual criminals are due to stay habitual criminals, and need to be put down. But at the end of the day, the two of them both try to protect people in their own ways.

I am aware that through the writings of various DC Comics authors such as Scott Lobdell and Judd Winick, the two have had a very tumultuous relationship. And rightfully so, I am by no means saying that Scott Lobdell writing an arc where Bruce literally beats Jason to within an inch of his life in Red Hood and the Outlaws, nor Judd Winick's interpretation of Under the Red Hood where Bruce throws the Batarang at Jason's neck, slicing his throat and leaving him ambiguously for dead at the end of the comic is appropriate considering DC Comics seems to be trying everything they can to integrate Jason back into the family. That being said, a lot of these writings have shaped the narrative of Jason and Bruce's relationship and have an integral effect on the way the fandom views the two. It doesn't help that Zdarsky acknowledged Lobdell's life-beating of Jason by Bruce at the very end of Cheer by having Bruce give Jason his old outfit back as a means of mending the fence between the two of them. That does complicate a lot of things in terms of how they are viewed by the fandom and helps to cause an even greater divide between the two.

Regardless, I want to emphasize the fact that Jason Todd is a part of the family of his own accord. Yes, he's quite snarky and deadpan in almost every encounter. However, Jason is absolutely a part of the family and has been for a while of his own will. There's a great moment in Detective Comics that emphasizes this. Jason cares about his family because it is his found family. Yes, they may be warry about him and use him as a punching back and/or heckle him. At the end of the day, we're debating the family dynamics of a fictional playboy billionaire vigilante whose kleptomania took the form of adopting troubled children and turning them into vigilante heroes. Jason Todd wants a family that will love and support him. This is a key definition of his character at its most basic. This was proven during the events of Cheer and is being reenforced by DC Comics every time they get the opportunity to do so.

Now, none of this is to say that I hate Judd Winick. I do not, I don't like the fact that in all of his writings of Jason, he just writes him as a dangerous psychopath, and Winick himself admits to seeing Jason as nothing much more than a psychopath. Yet Winick is the one who the majority of the fandom clings to as the one true good writer of Jason Todd because 'Jason was competent, dangerous, smart' Listen, friends, Jason is all of that and I will never deny it. However, what I love about Jason isn't that he's dangerously smart of that writers either write him as angsty angry Tumblr sexyman bait or that they write him as an infantile man child with a gun. There's a large contention of this fandom that has an obsession with Jason Todd being this vigilante gunman who is hot and sexy and while I definitely get the appeal. It is very creepy and downright disturbing that all of you hyperfixate on his use of guns and ability to be a murderer. It is creepy and I'm not necessarily here for it.

What I love about Jason Todd is that despite all of the pain, all of the heartache, all of the betrayal, and bullying, and death, and anguish. Jason Todd is one of the most loving and supportive characters in all of DC Comics. Jason has been through so much in his life, but he still chooses to love. He still chooses to see the bright side in people. Yes, he takes a utilitarian approach and chooses to kill certain villains, but at the end of the day he wants to see a better world, and he wants to be loved. It takes so much courage and so much heart to learn to love again after one has been abused or traumatized. I would not blame Jason at all if he said fuck it and just went full solo and vigilante evil. He has every right to, but he still chooses to be with the Bat Family of his own accord. That's something that I see a lot of in myself. I have been through a lot of trauma and yet I try to be a better person myself in any way that I can. It is extremely admirable of Jason to allow love back into his heart when he really doesn't need to. He kills and he protects because he has this love of society. It may have been shaped by anger and hatred, but Jason has found his place amongst people who love him and value him. I think Ducra, from Red Hood and the Outlaws put it best in the image given below.

To end this tangent, I love Jason Todd and all of his sexy dangerousness, but it's far more than that. As much as Jason may be dangerous and snarky, he loves his family without a shadow of a doubt. I look up to Jason Todd because despite all of his pain and all of his trauma, he still choses to love. Jason Todd is a character who is someone I love because despite all of his flaws and having a very toxic fandom, he still serves as a character filled with so much heart and so much passion. I wish more writers would understand that. But for now I will live with what I have. Even though the fandom may be vocal about it's hatred for his characterization, I choose to love Jason regardless because he is a character who chooses love and acceptance regardless of his pain. Jason Todd is by no means a good person in any sense of the word. He has easily killed upwards of 100 people by now. He is a character who is flawed and complex but ultimately is one who powers forwards and finds love and heart in a place from so much pain and anguish. That is what I love about Jason Todd. After all, to quote a famous undead robot superhero, "What is grief, if not love persevering?" Jason Todd chooses to love despite all of the trauma and pain and grief. Yes, he is hardened in his exterior, but inside there is a man with a lot of love to give and someone who deserves the world in my eyes.

[gallifrey1sburning]

Hooray!! Happy recovery to you! I hope it is as gentle and smooth as possible. For a prompt, hmmm... What about picking out an outfit, as a prompt? Could be picking one out before a date, or remembering an outfit, or picking one for each other, or for Halloween... Whatever you feel like!

Hi Starry!! Thank you for the prompt! I had about five directions that I thought about taking this, but somehow ended up writing my second Halloween costume fic in a week. I hope you enjoy! GB

“I feel like this is house discrimination,” Harry complained, pulling discontentedly at the heavy suit of golden-brown fur. “I feel like there were a lot of ways that this could have gone that weren’t this one.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” Draco’s voice had gone that special level of posh that Harry knew from long experience meant that his boyfriend knew exactly what he meant but would deny it to the grave. He didn’t bother to meet Harry’s eyes, instead giving himself a critical look in the mirror as he smoothed his hands over the voluminous froth of pink and glitter flaring from his narrow waist. “I feel like this could use more tulle.”

“Draco, come on.”

Draco’s wand twirled in his hand and his skirt ballooned another foot in each direction, pushing Harry even further out of his sightline. “Stop being such a child, Potter. This isn’t about you. Your godson wants to be Dorothy for Halloween. It’s your duty as his guardian to support him. You don’t want to reinforce toxic gender roles by refusing, do you?”

Harry gave him an incredulous look. “Did I miss the part of the conversation where I said ‘I don’t want to wear this monstrosity, so the whole group costume has to be scrapped?’”

“It was implied,” Draco drawled.

“It wasn’t even a little bit implied.”

“Teddy wants you in that costume.”

“Teddy is four and extremely suggestible.”

Draco ran his fingers through the smooth ringlets of his hair, narrowing his eyes at his reflection. “It isn’t my fault that he is an excellent judge of character. Do my cheeks need to be pinker? I feel like they do.” He swiped a fluffy brush over his cheeks in a way that made absolutely no difference that Harry could see before finally glancing over. “Besides, would you rather have been brainless or heartless instead? And anyway, those costumes were already taken.”

“I could’ve been the wizard,” Harry grumbled.

“Ah, yes, the conman, that would have been much better.”

“At least the outfit would have been cooler.”

Adjusting his tall silver crown one last time, Draco turned from the mirror to face Harry fully. “Trick or Treating is going to start in twenty minutes. Stop pouting and put on your costume.”

Giving up, Harry reluctantly climbed into the hot, baggy, rented monstrosity, grumbling under his breath all the while. “Ron and Hermione are meeting us here?” he asked as he straightened, wrinkling his nose as Draco cast a charm on his face to make the mask adhere more realistically to his features and rearranged the stupid little bow sitting atop his curly mane.

“Any moment now,” Draco confirmed.

As if on cue, Harry heard Ron’s irritated voice calling up the stairs. “Malfoy, get your petty arse down here!”

Harry raised an eyebrow at Draco, who didn’t deign to acknowledge the look, instead brushing past Harry and somehow managing to exit the room and descend the narrow staircase gracefully despite his dress being at least three times its width. “Weasley, Granger,” he greeted. When Harry finally managed to climb out from behind him, he found his two best friends looking distinctly unamused.

“The Scarecrow? Really?” Ron asked dryly. “This is because I beat you at chess, isn’t it.”

Draco looked at him innocently. “I have no recollection of that.”

Ron snorted disbelievingly. “And Hermione?” Reaching over, he knocked twice on her metal-enclosed chest, giving Draco a pointed look as the sound echoed rather more than physics would suggest it might.

“They’re just costumes, Weasley. Stop reading so much into it.”

The conversation was cut short by the flare of the Floo as Andromeda guided an excited and extremely adorable blue plaid pinafore-wearing Teddy through. “Don’t keep him out too late or let him have too much candy,” Andromeda warned Harry.

“Got it. We’ll see you in a few days, okay?”

“See you all soon,” Andromeda agreed before leaning down to kiss Teddy goodnight. “Be good.”

“Trick or Treat!” came Teddy’s excited answer.

Andromeda gave Harry a look that fell somewhere between sympathy and amusement. “Good luck.”

As Teddy grabbed Ron by the hand, dragging him toward the door and beginning a loud and offkey rendition of Follow the Yellow Brick Road, Harry looped his arm through Draco’s. “So tell me, really, what did Hermione do to earn herself the Tin Man?”

“She keeps refusing to put my petition for updated uniforms before the St. Mungos board.”

“Those massively expensive ones that look like they just came off a runway?”

“I maintain that it’s heartless to make someone who looks like me wear lime,” Draco insisted. “It’s a complete waste of my complexion.”

“You are an absolute nutter.” Looking over at Draco’s ensemble, he couldn’t help but ask, “So, why Glinda, then?”

“Have you seen The Wizard of Oz?” Draco asked him, not bothering to pause for an answer. “Glinda is absolutely a Slytherin. She could have told Dorothy how those shoes worked at any time, but she decided to use her for her own purposes, first. She has an impressively diabolical brain wrapped up in all the glitter. Besides—” He stepped away from Harry to give a little twirl, “I look fantastic in pink.”

Harry rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hold back a smile as he pulled the blond in for a kiss. “I’ll give you that one. But next year, I’m getting Teddy hooked on something I like before you can get into his head with something else that’s going to make me and my friends look like idiots.”

“Is that so? And what sub-par piece of media do you think you can manipulate him into choosing?”

“I was thinking Star Wars. Pretty sure I could rock a Han Solo costume.”

Draco studied Harry for a moment, his cheeks flushing slightly as he licked his lips seemingly-unconsciously. “I suppose I could live with that.”

Harry grinned devilishly. “Besides, I think you'd make a great Chewbacca.”

Draco’s squawk of displeasure was barely audible over Harry’s cackling laughter as he slipped away from his boyfriend to link his arms with Teddy as he, Ron, and Hermione, skipped gamely down the road.

AO3

[victoronyurionice]

Carry On Trilogy: AWTWB Review

So I know this is pretty much a Yuri On Ice exclusive blog, but this is my one and only blog and therefore I have nowhere else to put my thoughts, so please excuse this post if you’ve never read Carry On.

However, if I’ve found the right people, and you have read Carry On, hello!! Let’s be friends. Also this will contain heavy, heavy spoilers, so if you haven’t finished the trilogy I suggest you finish reading and then come back to this if you don’t want anything spoiled for you :) 

One last thing before I get into the nitty-gritty let me just preface this by saying I am NOT an author, or even someone with massive experience with writing. Therefore any critiques I have regarding the writing, the storyline/plot or characterisation is purely my opinion, and what my brain specifically expects. 

Let’s get into it!!

So I discovered Carry On through Tessa Netting (an amazing Harry Potter youtuber) and was immediately drawn to the idea of it when she said it was basically like Harry Potter but if it was a Drarry fanfic. Being a HUGE Draco and Harry shipper, I thought hell yeah and decided to give it a go. I took to it immediately (well maybe not immediately, the first couple of chapters were kind of confusing, there was a lot of information to process at once, but then again you do catch up very quickly). The dynamic between Simon and Baz IS the main reason for why I chose to read Carry On and was delighted to discover that there was a sequel and a 3rd book in the works!

Carry On left many, many unanswered questions, so when the sequel (Wayward Son) was basically a filler novel with no answers to these questions and barely any interaction between Simon and Baz, I was really disappointed. However we DID receive Shepard (my beloved) and Agatha became a lot more bearable.

Fast forward to the present day where I’ve read Any Way The Wind Blows anddddd... I have a lot of thoughts. Mostly good ones so if you were looking for a review that absolutely bashes Rainbow Rowell and the entire Simon Snow series, you’re better off looking at goodreads. Howeverrr I do not hold back on any criticisms, so be warned.

First of all: We were promised SnowBaz by RR and BOY did we receive. I kept savouring each interaction between them, thinking it was the last, thinking that it’s gonna blow up and there’ll be no more, but it just kept coming and I loved that. I’ve seen a lot of criticism saying that it was overtly sexual and the dynamic was odd, but I personally disagree: I think that at times, yes it was awkward, and yes it wasn’t perfect, but in my eyes, that made it all the more REAL. Each interaction, each conversation and each intimate moment felt like witnessing a proper relationship. Romantic standards and expectations of what a relationship should be has become untouchable and set on such a high pedestal, it’s quite frankly unreachable, but RR found a way to make it realistic and I adored that. 

What I will say though, was that there were some unnecessary moments. I agree when others say that Simon and Baz did not need to break up for the duration of 20 pages, it didn’t add much to the plot...

Speaking of the plot... this was perhaps the most obscure thing regarding AWTWB...I’m still not quite sure what it was about, and the jumps between each narrator made it hard to follow at some point. We go from Simon and Baz having not-sex and hunting down the not-chosen one to Penny and Shepard summoning demons, to Agatha doing... well I’m not quite sure what she WAS doing

Agatha’s role in AWTWB was not needed, her narration and the plot set out for her really added nothing to the book. Honestly, if I were to just tear out each of Agatha’s sections, the book would still make perfect sense. I’m not quite sure what to make of this, since I really did not like her character in Carry On, but she has grown on me after Wayward Son and AWTWB - her gay panic when Niamh cut her hair is my favourite moment and it’s absolutely EVERYTHING. But really and truly her role in the book was to what? Assist a goat in giving birth? The jury’s still out on that one.

I mean, the main ‘villain’ in the book isn’t even a villain as far as I’m concerned. His intent wasn’t even that malicious really, he’s really not even worth mentioning. 

The ending for me was bittersweet. I’m going to pretend the epilogue doesn’t exist because it adds absolutely nothing to ANYTHING except confirm that Agatha’s become the new goatherd, which I guess good for her? 

I was very anxious when the book was coming to an end, 83 chapters in and still no indication that Simon knows who his real family is. Thankfully, it gets resolved, but it feels rushed. Also the excalibur bullshit, surely there was a MUCH better way to find out, then being able to pull out a magical heirloom from the family dining table. I personally thought it would have something to do with the whole ‘rosebud boy’ thing - that would’ve been a major set up for angst (imagine: all this time Baz has been clinging onto the thought that perhaps his mother did love him enough, to call him her rosebud boy, and maybe she wouldn’t be ashamed of his vampire-ness. Instead though, it was Lucy calling Simon her rosebud boy, so what does that mean for Baz?).

The ending is very sweet, our final SnowBaz moment, and it shows real growth on Simon’s part, as someone who used to rely on no one but himself and was very rarely vulnerable, is now holding onto Baz for support. I was satisfied with the way the trilogy ended, but I can’t help but think about al the big questions that remain unanswered:

Everything to do with Vampires. I feel like only the surface was scratched when it came to learning about vampires, what they can and can’t do and what their limitations are. It’s never really explained. How does a vampire drink human blood without turning the human in question? Was Nicodemus correct in saying drinking only animal blood will prevent immortality? What else is there to know about the Vampire world?

Just everything about the goats. We’re told they’re magic and have some sort of significance, but huh?? How? What? Why? Just...so many questions about the goats

Simon and his wings was a massive part of AWTWB...but we never get told what he decides to do with them. As far as I’m concerned he still hasn’t changed his mind about getting them amputated, but then again he never really mentions the subject at the end of the book so I’m really unsure

On the topic of Simon, it’s confirmed he was in fact Lucy and Davy’s son... the son of 2 very powerful mages, meaning he was a magician all along, and could never have been a Normal. What does that mean for his magic? For anything? Again this is not really explained

Ok last one about Simon, but for god’s sake, he just found out that not only did he ‘kill’ his mentor and father figure...but he was ‘responsible’ for the death of his actual biological father (or as I imagine he’d see it himself). That’s really got to fuck someone up - so what happens afterwards? I’d like to know the aftermath

Dead Spots - We’re aware to the fact that magic hasn’t returned to the spots the Humdrum stole the magic from, but we’re not given a concrete answer/explanation as to why they remain ‘dead spots’

All in all I still think there are quite a few loose ends that I would really love to be tied up neatly, but this was always supposed to be a trilogy, and while I think we’d benefit from a fourth book, I don’t necessarily think it’s needed. Perhaps a spin-off where some of the questions are answered. 

I think my main takeaway from AWTWB is if you’re in it for purely the plot, you might find yourself slightly disappointed. I’m not one of those people, I was largely in it for SnowBaz and I received PLENTY and I could not be happier for it, so if you wanna read about how these two idiots manage to make it work despite the odds, you will really, really enjoy it :) 

[agerefandom]

A Year of Agere Writing

What a year! I started this blog on December 23rd, 2019, and posted my first agere fanfiction in January 2020. Since then, I’ve posted 18 stories and 32 headcanon sets! 

Here’s to another great year. 

--

Stella’s Stories of 2020 (Alphabetical by Fandom) 

The Best Fish: Achievement Hunter. regressor!Gavin, telling Ryan about his regression. 

Safety In Numbers: Be More Chill. regressor!Rich, worried Jeremy

Old Friends: Calvin and Hobbes. regressor!Calvin visiting home and rediscovering Hobbes

Books and Pigments: Critical Role. regressor!Jester and regressor!Caleb playdate in a ‘regression is known’ universe. 

Evenings Of Eternity: Good Omens series! regressor!Crowley and cg!Aziraphale, just two lost divine beings experimenting with age and forgiveness. (chapter two here)

Cupcakes and Moms: Homestuck. regressor!Dave and his mom Roxy! 

>Dirk: Regress: Homestuck. Dirk alone and regressing for an afternoon. 

Song of the Hive: The Magnus Archives. regressor!Jane Prentiss story with horror overtones.  

BONUS: Entities and Age Regression (The Magnus Archives) 

Quiet Days: Marvel. cg!Natasha and regressor!reader drabble. 

Shapes and Friends: Night In The Woods. regressor!Mae hanging out with Gregg while Angus orders pizza. 

Bowed, Yet Unbroken: Original dnd characters! Hurt/comfort regression in a fantasy universe. 

Forever More: Phantom Of The Opera. regressor!Erik and cg!Christine, post-canon and happily ever after. 

Just Plane Overwhelmed: Sanders Sides. regressor!Virgil and cg!Patton on a stressful plane ride.  The Playtime Solution: Sanders Sides. regressor!Logan needs a break, cg!Patton saves the day.  To The Moon And Back: Sanders Sides. regressor!Logan, cg!Roman playdate. 

Safe and Sound: Steven Universe. regressor!Steven tries to stop regressing, cg!Crystal Gems

Cold Palms, Warm Words: Twilight. regressor!reader with cg!Alice and Jasper

A Story For Sans: Undertale. regressor!Sans is exhausted, and Papyrus is worried. 

Headcanon Sets Under ‘Read More’! 

The Adventure Zone  taako regression taako and lup regressing together 

Beetlejuice regressor!lydia

Be More Chill puppy regressor jake 

Critical Role caregiver!mollymauk caregiver!caduceus 

Death Note regressor!L

Disney caregiver!merida  caregiver!jack skellington 

Doctor Who ninth doctor (caregiver) tenth doctor (caregiver)

Gravity Falls regressor!dipper 

Harry Potter regressor!harry and cg!draco regressor!draco 

Hazbin Hotel cg!charlie and cg!vaggie 

Hetalia regressor!canada 

Homestuck regressor!vriska and june

The Magnus Archives regressor!sasha 

Marvel deadpool regression

The Mechanisms regressor!mordred

Night In The Woods regressor!mae caregiver!bea

Rick and Morty regressor!morty

Sherlock regressor!sherlock and cg!john

Skulduggery Pleasant anton shudder regression

Supernatural dean winchester regression with sam and cas as cgs)

Twilight headcanons for alice and jasper adopting the reader cg!felix volturi

Undertale regressor!sans caregiver!papyrus

Welcome To Night Vale regressor!cecil and cg!carlos

Youtubers regressor!dan howell

[llendrinall]

What would Harry and Draco be like if they were parents? How would your take on it be from their child/ren's birth to adulthood?

Sorry if my English doesn't sound right.

Well, on the one hand I don’t think either of them would want to have children. Or rather, neither wants to be a parent. Harry knows too well what a bad childhood does to you and I imagine he would be terrified at the prospect of something happening to Draco and him and leaving his child an orphan. Sure, Ron and Hermione would take that hypothetical kid, but what if something happened to them too? And to the rest of the Weasleys? And Luna? And Neville? What would happen to the kid them? James and Lily gave Harry a godfather and it didn’t stop Harry from growing up in an abusive home. So Harry would be super anxious about that, imagining more and more elaborate scenarios in which anyone remotely capable of raising a kid without giving them life-long trauma would be unavailable, and Harry’s kid would end up in hard and uncaring hands, just like Harry and Neville.

(And I’m sure Neville doesn’t help on that respect when he says he won’t be having kids and if he has any, he wants them to have their mother surname. No Longbottom will have a claim to them).

Draco knows his parenting role models are awful. He was extremely spoiled while also suffering immense pressure. Draco got all the candy and gifts he ever wanted, but he was also expected to excel at school, be a powerful wizard and become a Death Eater. It’s not that he doesn’t have a frame of reference, it’s that the one he has is really, really, bad. How do you go not giving your child a mix of anxiety and self-absorption? He would sure like to know.

On the other hand, I’m sure that Harry will adopt anyone who stands still long enough. He is not one to let pain make him hard and cold. Rather, his suffering made him more compassionate.

So he and Draco would eventually adopt a kid (or two or three). Although they might also get an accidental biological magical child too. Let’s give the kid a name, just to make writing easier. Say, Celeste. Celeste the most likely adopted, but still possibly biological magical child.

Celeste would be happy and loved. Probably an only-child for a long time, because both Harry and Draco would still be scared at the notion of parenthood. Celeste would learn quickly to entertain themselves and relate to adults better than to other children.

Harry would stress about Celeste’s wellbeing and having them be self-reliable. Draco would insist on letting the child express themselves and find their own interests. There would be a lot of mistakes and doubts, but overall they would do fine.

Celeste would grow up under the assumption that candy exists only as a Weasley family tradition. Like, candy is something that the Weasleys do but no other household has it. Celeste has certainly never seen a candy treat that didn’t come from Weasley hands.

It’s because Draco has this weird crusade against treats. He got so many as a child! It’s a wonder Draco didn’t develop an eating disorder. There were many other aspects where Draco was spoiled silly, but since he wants Celeste to have a broom and learn to fly young, and also play an instrument and what’s the word? A game-boy, Celeste ought to play muggle games too, Draco is focusing on treats and candy which are completely banned at their household. The Weasleys just ignore the prohibition. It evens out. Celeste has some candy, but not as much as they would otherwise get.

I love the idea of Celeste developing magic (especially if they are some sort of magical biological child, because people would see them as Potter 3.0 Malfoy edition) receiving the Hogwarts letter, going to Diagon Alley to buy a wand, everything, all the little traditions and rituals, and once they arrive to Hogwarts… they don’t like it. Beautiful magical place, yes, but it’s still a boarding school. Putting aside that everyone, from teachers to students, looks at them weird because of who Celeste’s parents are, Celeste misses home, isn’t making friends because it takes them a while to open up and overall is having a bad time.

So Harry and Draco take Celeste back home. No questions. Their child wrote saying they didn’t like it there, so Harry and Draco removed their child from that situation immediately. There is no reason they can’t apparate every day for lessons and even if there were, even if there were all kind of obstacles… Their child wrote asking for help and harry and Draco want to do better.

They take Celeste home, where Celeste has all their stuff, is happy and can see Oso. (Oso is the family dog. A huge mastiff so called after a picture in a children’s book. The picture was of a bear, but to be honest Oso does look like a bear to any well informed three-year old).

Of course Hogwarts doesn’t agree with the new arrangement. Harry reminds them that on Halloween of his first year they had a troll roaming inside and things only got worse after that. Harry is told that most of those unfortunate events where a consequence of Voldemort. Nowadays Hogwarts is perfectly safe and perhaps Harry is letting his anxieties take undue hold of him.

“What about the student bullying?” Harry says, with heroic calm. He would rather set the desk on fire.

“What about it? There are centaurs in the forest, but no bulls, I assure you, and as you well known, Mr Potter, students are prohibited from wandering the forest. I do think you are seeing threats where there are none”.

Ah, of course. The wizarding world isn’t familiar with the concept of “bullying”. The application and execution, they know it well, but they don’t’ have a word for what is considered normal conduct.

Celeste attends the rest of the year as if it were a normal school, which is widely criticized although there are also many other parents interested.

And then… The academic year ends and Celeste drops out of Hogwarts. The whole wizarding world comes to a stop, although one should specify that in this case “the whole wizarding world” means “English wizarding society”. The continent doesn’t care if a child attends school or not. Welsh and Scotland care, but not enough to come to a halt. They do discuss it, but they go on with their business. It’s the English wizards who seem to have a problem with it. From September to December the papers write about nothing else.

The things is, Celeste has acquired some of Harry’s anxieties and is concerned with how little they were learning at Hogwarts. A lot of magic, yes, but nothing on language (and Celeste loves reading and learning languages) and even less about math. Not that Celeste likes math, but they worry about not knowing how to adequately manage the family fortune when their parents are gone. You know how wealth does not last three generations? Well, it certainly won’t if Celeste doesn’t learn how to balance expenses. Celeste wants to learn enough that they won’t be vulnerable to their solicitor., and when they put it that way even his gransfather has to admit there is a point.

(And maybe Harry failed Celeste here, letting his child worry so much about becoming an orphan, but Harry routinely receives dead threats and Draco has suffered two attempts on his life, so).

Harry couldn’t be more proud. No benevolent-looking wizard will take advantage of Celeste. Draco is also very happy because Celeste’s muggle school has art lessons in the curriculum and they have Drama as an extra-curricular. Celeste doesn’t want to sign to Theatre, but the mere fact it’s there pleases Draco immensely.

The ministry makes Celeste sits the OWLs in order to keep their wand. There are parents asking about educations alternatives, so the Ministry hopes that once Celeste fails people will accept Hogwarts as it comes, none of that day-school nonsense and hiring qualified teachers.

Except muggle school prepares you really well for the study process (or maybe, it simply prepares you better than magical schools do) so Celeste excels at the written exams. They do really, really, well, which is something Hermione Granger had been predicting for the last four years but nobody listened to her, so she is even more chuffed than Harry and Draco. Hermione has won sixteen different bets and is going to bring parliamentary reform to the education system.

Celeste’s spell work could see some improvement, but they have no trouble conjuring a corporeal patronus and that still qualifies as an automatic O in DADA. With that and some luck in Transfigurations, Celeste graduates Hogwarts having only attended a year. Lucius Malfoy, who is still racist but above all is a social creature and social climber, gives a week-long ball to celebrate his grandchild academic achievement. He also gifts Celeste a summer trip around Europe. Correction, because Lucius knows both Harry and Draco, but specially Draco, are very strict with gifts, he makes a donation to Celeste’s school language club. Did Lucius pay so thirty-odd muggle teenagers can spend three weeks around Europe practicing their foreign languages? Why, he sure did. And you won’t disappoint said children, will you Draco? I will take the money back if you ask me to, but little Prisha will be crushed.

There is a Prisha in Celeste’s school. Lucius is either weirdly stalkerish or paying attention to Celeste.

So maybe Celeste has inherited some anxieties and complexes, like many children do, but Lucius has become a better person and a pretty cool grandfather, so overall I think Harry and Draco are good parents.

[dracoqueen22]

[CR] Generosity Provides

Universe: Critical Role Campaign Two, And Other Virtues Series Characters: Fjord/Caduceus, The Mighty Nein Rating: K+ Enticements: None Description: Fjord notices things, too. And he notices that Caduceus needs to look after himself a bit more. For FjorClay Week, Day One “Battle Couple/Post Battle” Warmth washes over Fjord, followed by a ticklish tingle, and the last of his aches and pains vanish. He feels the smile of the Wildmother like sunshine on the crown of his head, and though he hadn’t noticed them, a few tiny scratches on his arm fade into nothing. The battle had been more of a skirmish. These days, a few dire badgers are nothing the Mighty Nein can't handle, but one had gotten past Fjord’s guard when he'd been aiming at the largest of them bearing down on Caleb, and weak or not, badger claws are sharp. It cut right through a gap in his armor, slicing under his arm.

"Thanks Caduceus," Jester says as she feeds little niblets to Sprinkle, looking none the worse for wear despite having been the one to stumble on the dire badgers first. There are a few rips in her cloak, but a quick Mending cantrip takes care of those. "Oh yeah, thanks," says Beau, like an afterthought, though she doesn't mean it that way. She's lounging near Jester, flopped on the leaf-littered ground, the claw marks on her arm healed to tiny red lines. She'd taken that blow for Jester. Unsurprising. "Oh, it's no trouble," says Caduceus, and Fjord's belly does that little flip-flop it always does when he hears Caduceus' voice. "The hut will be ready in a moment," Caleb offers from nearby as he methodically stakes out the perfect location and begins the ritual which will create their protective bubble for the night. "Take your time. I don't think those badgers wanna mess with us anymore," Beau drawls. It’s hard to tell if she’s serious, or genuinely annoyed. She really needs to work on her tone. Fjord makes a mental note of it. "They definitely don't want to mess with you, Beau," Jester says, poking Beau in one of her envious deltoids. "I think you punched that one so hard his momma felt it." They laugh. Caduceus picks his way through their gathered friends, past Nott fiddling with her crossbow because it had jammed on her earlier, and past Yasha, carefully running a whetstone over her blade. "There you are," Caduceus says with a slow smile. "Here I am." Fjord pats the empty space beside him, which he'd left specifically for his -- boyfriend? lover? Partner? -- he’s still looking for the right term. "Was I lost?" "No. I think it's just a thing people say to each other." Caduceus sits, laying his staff beside him, armor clanking a little until he clicks the buckles loose and slides off the heavy chestplate. His shoulder slump with relief as he rolls his neck, trying to ease the tension gathered there. There's a cut on his cheek. Fjord brushes his thumb under it, swiping away a few droplets of blood. "You didn't fix this?" "Jester needed it more." Caduceus sweeps his hair over one shoulder. He gives Fjord another one of those soft, slow smiles. "It's just a scratch." It's always just a scratch. Until it isn't. Caduceus gets mortally injured a lot with them, more so than most. Used to be it was Caleb they had to watch out for, but Caleb sticks to the back more often than not, while Caduceus runs into the fray to pick them up and put them back together. He's like a magnet to their enemies. They always aim for him. And he always thinks of the rest of them first. "It'll be gone by morning. Mostly," Caduceus says. Fjord makes a non-committal noise and reaches up, dragging his fingers through Caduceus' hair, claws gentle over his scalp. Caduceus groans quietly, his ears sinking down with delight. He leans in toward Fjord almost unconsciously until he catches himself and gives Fjord a quiet, embarrassed glance. It’s always hardest for Caduceus to ask for it when he needs it most, as if he’s not allowed to take care of himself until he’s sure no one else needs him. "Lap's open. If you want it," Fjord says. Caduceus slants him a knowing look. "I do," he says, and shifts around, until he pillows his head on Fjord's thigh, hair spilling in a pink thigh over Fjord’s trousers. "Though it seems to be more for your sake, than mine." "What makes you say that?" "Mm. Intuition." Caduceus' eyes slit closed, and he tilts his head into the stroke of Fjord's fingers, the familiar paths he's learned since the first time he'd touched Caduceus like this. "You all right?" Fjord wants to kiss him. "You fixed me up. I'm fine," Fjord says, and he concentrates, reaching for the place within him, where the touch of the Wildmother blooms like a knot of warmth and comfort. He draws it up and out, focusing, and when his fingers stroke over Caduceus' cheek, they brush gently over the cut. Melora's warmth seeps from his fingertips, the cut sealing up and healing over, without leaving so much as a scar. It's not much, Fjord's devotion isn't as strong as it could be yet, but he -- and her favor -- will get stronger yet. Caduceus hums and looks up at him. "You didn't have to do that." "Yes, I did." Fjord tucks some hair behind Caduceus' ear, taking the opportunity to tickle it until it flicks out of irritation. "You take care of us, so I should take care of you." His face heats a little. "It makes sense, right?" Caduceus gives him a long look, and then he smiles, and gods, Fjord wants to kiss him so much. "Sure," he says. "Feels nice." "It's not much," Fjord admits. Because Caduceus puts them back together from the worst wounds, the terriblest poisons. He guards their lives, dulls mortal blows, and keeps an eye for them in the battlefield. Healing a small wound is nothing in the face of that. "It's perfect." Caduceus grabs his hand, pulls it in range to lay a kiss on Fjord's knuckles, scarred as they are. "This works, too." The tips of Fjord's ears burn. "If you say so." "I just did actually." Caduceus chuckles and puts Fjord's hand back on his hair. "You can keep going if you want." He does, in fact, want. So he threads his fingers through Caduceus' hair -- picking out a stray leaf and petal which managed to find their way into the long strands -- and picks up his rhythm once more. "You'll get stronger," Caduceus murmurs as he closes his eyes, and fully relaxes under Fjord's touch. "I'm not worried about that." "Yes, you are." Fjord exhales a sigh and smiles. "Yes, fine. I am." Caduceus grins, and one eye peeks open in a rare show of mischief. "In the meantime, however, I've heard there is one thing which also helps with healing." Fjord lifts his eyebrows. "And what's that?" "He wants you to kiss him, Fjord!" Jester says from too far away, but also too close. Fjord glares at her, as she giggles and nudges Beau with an elbow, who nudges back, a little harder than she intended probably. "Stop being nosy," Fjord says. "Stop being gross in public," Beau retorts, and promptly flips him off. "They don't really have a choice right now, Beau. Besides, do we count as public?" Jester asks, elbowing Beau again, and she must have jabbed Beau good, because their monk coughs and rubs at her ribs. "Ow." "Sorry." Fjord sighs and returns his attention to Caduceus, whose face is creased with mirth. "She's not wrong," Caduceus says as he sits up and leans into Fjord's space. "I do want you to kiss me." Fjord tilts his head up, and then up a little more -- Caduceus is just too damn tall. "That's a myth, you know." "All myths hold a little bit of truth to them," Caduceus says, and he bends down so Fjord can kiss him, like he's been wanting to do since the skirmish ended, and Caduceus had barely avoided the swipe of the badger's claws. Fjord threads his fingers through Caduceus' hair and keeps him close for the kiss, their mouths moving together, the brief taste of Caduceus' tongue on the seam of his lips. It can't be anything more than this, not here and now, but this is good. This is perfect. Sometimes, Fjord can scarcely believe how lucky he is. Until a branch cracks under the weight of someone's boot -- it had to be deliberate -- and Fjord pulls away from Caduceus to see Yasha standing nearby, awkwardly shifting, but smiling indulgently. "The, uh, hut is ready," she says, pointing over her shoulder with a thumb. "If you two want to, um, join us. Or not, I mean, you might like it out here for a bit." "Thank you, Miss Yasha," Caduceus says, because he seems to be immune to embarrassment. "Sure," she says, and because she's Yasha, she stands there for another awkward moment before she turns and leaves, ducking into the hut where everyone else has gone as well. "I think this technically counts as privacy now," Caduceus says. Fjord laughs and presses his forehead to Caduceus' clavicle, slipping an arm around his -- lover? partner? boyfriend? they really need to figure this out -- waist. "Guess that means you should kiss me again." "I think it does." Caduceus hums. He leans in and does just that, slanting their lips together. Warmth blossoms in the middle of Fjord's chest, not unlike the drizzling warmth of Caduceus' healing prayers, and he smiles into the kiss, deepening it only as much as he dares. They're alone, for a few precious moments before they have to join the others, and Fjord plans to soak up every second he can. He has to get stronger, to prove his devotion so he can call on Melora when he needs. Someone needs to watch out for Caduceus the way he looks out for them, and Fjord plans to be that someone. He wants to hold on to this as long as he can. ****

a/n: Feedback is greatly welcome and appreciated! Feel free to comment, reblog, et cetera. I’d love to hear what you all think! 

[astoriias]

{ cisgender woman, she/her } ❝ Thank god women learned to whisper / though I crave a megaphone. ❞ huh, who’s CAITRIONA BALFE? no, you’re mistaken, that’s actually ASTORIA MALFOY (NEÉ GREENGRASS). she is a 47 year old PUREBLOOD witch who is CHIEF WARLOCK OF THE WIZENGAMOT. she is known for being JUDGEMENTAL, DISHONEST, COLD, RIGID, and CALLOUS but also PRACTICAL, DRIVEN, INNOVATIVE, STEADFAST and DISCIPLINED, so that must be why she always reminds me of the song TOMORROW - MINER and BLACK LEATHER BRIEFCASES, THE CLICK OF HIGH HEELS ON TILE FLOORS, THE LINGERING TASTE OF FAIRY FLOSS, BURGUNDY NAIL POLISH, AND PEARL HAIR PINS. i hear she is aligned with NO ONE so be sure to keep an eye on her. 

BIO

Cursed with a blood malediction that left her and her parents preoccupied with maintaining her health throughout early childhood, Astoria grew up without direction, without passion, and without much to do or think about other than staying alive. She did what she was told and completed what was asked of her by her parents: mostly swallowing thick potions that made her head spin and remaining in bed when all she wanted to do was tumble through the lush gardens of the Greengrass estate and scrape her knees like other children. As she grew older and defied Healers’ expectations — making it past 5, then 10, then 15 — Astoria grew weary of the half-life she’d been prescribed. At Hogwarts, she followed her sister Daphne into Slytherin because she didn’t know where else to go. 

It took Astoria almost a year at Hogwarts before she would speak up in class or acknowledge anyone with more than a handful of words — and each time she did her heartbeat would quicken, her face would flush. If she was called on by a professor and — Merlin forbid — got the answer wrong, her eyes would fill with tears, her gaze would shift to the floor, and she wouldn’t be able to breathe. One day, outside her second-year Transfiguration class, an annoying boy named Colin saw her heavy breathing and told her about panic attacks — Astoria’s irrational fear of social situations and new people now made sense.

That same annoying boy became her close friend not long after. It was a month into study sessions by the Black Lake that Astoria Greengrass learned that her Colin, the boy who kept a camera slung around his neck at all times and was so nice to her, was Colin Creevey, yes, that Colin Creevey, who was petrified by a Basilisk a year prior for being MUGGLEBORN. Astoria found that didn’t bother her very much. Sure, she never advertised that they were friends and didn’t freely associate with Colin in public places, but he understood her position or in the very least, didn’t protest it. She even got him to join Herbology club — though she insisted that they enter and exit the greenhouse at different times and never spoke directly, his presence was a comforting balm.

Colin tried to get her to join up with the student resistance that was brewing in her third year — but Astoria knew she wasn’t the type to stir up such trouble. She couldn’t stand with the muggleborns and blood traitors no matter how right they were; she couldn’t risk losing her family. Unlike those in Dumbledore’s Army, Astoria didn’t see this conflict in terms of black and white, good vs. evil — there were plenty of others like her, struggling to find themselves in the midst of conflict, battling tradition and family expectations. She kept out of Umbridge’s way during that time. Kept out of her father’s way during that time — while he had no Dark Mark to speak of, his entrepreneurial hands passed cursed objects and ingredients for poisons to any Dark Lord-aligned wix who wanted them.

Through her friendship with Colin and her time in Herbology Club, Astoria learned she was a talented witch in her own right. Formed an identity outside of being the sick girl everyone doted on. Quietly realized that her muggleborn classmates  — despite what her pureblood indoctrination taught her — were fully-fledged human beings. To someone who didn’t grow up feeling trapped in the (sometimes socially constructed) confines of a blood illness, perhaps her time in Herbology Club wouldn’t seem so transformative. But for Astoria, it was everything.

Nowadays, Astoria is still defying life expectancy estimations and is perhaps best known for her robust political career. She joined the Ministry as a pupil/intern in its Wizengamot Instruction in Magical Law Program (W.I.M.P.), and in the span of twenty-five years has climbed the ranks to barrister’s assistant, barrister, then Wizengamot member, and finally, the youngest Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot in the last hundred years. She is extremely opinionated about the runnings of the legislature and judiciary, and her past two years as Chief Warlock have been marked by her love for procedure, due process, and fairness -- essentially meaning trials are very thorough and very focused on making sure the Ministry doesn’t overstep its bounds. 

BLOOD MALEDICTION

i’m truly on my bullshit and this needs its own section..........,,,,, i’m sorry

I originally started writing Astoria out of pure spite — it enraged and continues to enrage me that all we’re given about this woman is a few lines about her and an off-page (or off-stage, I guess, but Cursed Child is its own beast) death. It makes me mad that she is only defined by her role as a mother and wife to Scorpius and Draco, that she doesn’t get her own ambitions and a life of her own. The racist and sexist underpinnings of the blood malediction/Maledictus concept are par the course for JK but still, bad!

And while I can’t choose for Astoria to have this particular chronic illness and completely divorce it from those origins, I can at least eschew parts of it I don’t like and give a Astoria a rich and fulfilling life with a chronic/potentially terminal illness — not in spite of the blood curse, but because those of us with illnesses and disabilities are people with rich and fulfilling lives, wants, desires, and ambitions.

AN IMPORTANT NOTE:  I try to be really careful about ableist language when I describe this blood malediction and its effects on Astoria’s life — I think that there is so much to explore regarding chronic illness and what, exactly, we constitute as ‘health’ — but I know that I can fall into the traps of my own internalized ableism. If there are terms or concepts here that make players uncomfortable and/or have harmful effects, let me know! I’m happy to make changes.

So anyway!

— origins of the blood malediction

I don’t have this fully worked out, but I think the Greengrass blood malediction stretches back a good ten generations to a very vindictive-in-her-righteous-cause-Muggleborn-witch cursing the family for their refusal to let her marry their son. It’s not limited to just the girls in the family, because I hate that, but it does affect at least one child per generation, so long as the family continues to marry exclusively purebloods — which they have continued to do, not knowing that their bigotry (though in some cases, real love!) is the reason for the curse’s spread. Astoria’s parents mistakenly believed that since the last few cases of the curse had cropped up in different branches of the Greengrass family — distant cousins living on the Continent — that their children would be spared.

— astoria’s symptoms and treatment

Since it’s a blood curse, I figure Astoria’s symptoms manifest as issues both with her blood and with her cardiovascular system at large. I’d compare it to haemophilia. Her blood itself is thin and cannot clot without healing spells and thickening potions, meaning that nosebleeds are frequent, bruising is easy, and bad cuts can be fatal. She’s at high risk for internal bleeding in her joints, and  a big — though often unvoiced fear — of hers is a brain aneurysm that ruptures into a haemorrhage.

(miscarriage tw) These symptoms have waxed and waned her entire life, with particular incidents that have brought her close to death; an accident falling from the garden wall at five, a wayward spell hitting her across the face in second-year DADA, trying for a child. She doesn’t regret that last one — not at all — though it was five weeks after her miscarriage before she was able to stand unassisted, and her Healer’s face when she said “I strongly advise you to not have any more children” haunts her to this day. Scorpius’s birth, possible due to a wonderful surrogate, was alternatively the happiest day of her life. (end miscarriage tw)

Then there come the potions — a barrage of them, to be taken at specific times of day, with extras if she’s bleeding externally or feeling pain in particular areas — that come with side effects like exhaustion, headaches, and nausea. She visits St. Mungo’s once every three months to ensure that the potions are working as intended and has learned to accept her Healers chastising her for the times she skips parts of the regimen or pushes herself too far physically.

PERSONALITY

astoria!!! my love. clearly i have a lot of thoughts and Feelings about her lol,,,,,,,

there isn’t any world or timeline in which astoria would be rushing to join the death eaters -- lol, i’ve always envisioned her being extremely inquisitive and Critical of other people, their motivations, their methods -- this makes her extremely Good at Lawyering and Suspicious of Bullshit. i also have always thought that it was important for her to make a muggleborn friend or two just to really hammer the point home that pureblood nonsense is just that.

still, again, she’s not really motivated by niceness, she doesn’t have a bleeding-heart-sense-of-empathy, she’s kind of snarky and mean. her friends describe her as an acquired taste. 

has a massive sweet tooth. her family is regularly concerned she does not eat enough vegetables.

adores her son. just, absolutely thinks he can do no wrong. she and draco agree that most parents think their child is the most perfect and amazing child in the world, but scorpius actually is the most perfect and amazing child in the world, so. 

a note on astoria and draco: i think draco doesn’t treat her with pity or kid gloves, and has never underestimated her capacity to get shit done in light of her blood curse. and they have an honesty and rapport with each other that astoria hasn’t been able to cultivate with anyone else. they may not be very great people but they’re great partners and great parents. i luv them ok bye

STATS

GENERAL

name. astoria céline malfoy (née greengrass)

nickname. aster (reserved for use by her sister only!)

birthdate. 1 january 1982

place of birth. greengrass residence via midwifery

family. daphne greengrass (sister), draco malfoy (husband), scorpius malfoy (son)

residence. malfoy manor, wiltshire

occupation. chief warlock of the wizengamot

gender identity. woman

romantic orientation. biromantic

sexuality. bisexual

blood status. pureblood

relationship status. married

pets. a scottish terrier named hades

HOGWARTS / MAGIC

house. slytherin

extracurriculars/leadership. herbology club

allegiance. neutral/no one

n.e.w.t. grades charms (o), transfiguration (o), herbology (o), d.a.d.a (a), potions (a), arithmancy, astronomy (o), history of magic (a), ancient runes (e).

wand. willow, nine inches, unicorn hair core

boggart. tbd

patronus. also tbd! my brain hurts 

magical strengths. nonverbal casting, herbology, transfiguration, ancient runes

magical weaknesses. flying, defensive spells, domestic spells

[raptured-night]

Hi! I’m part of the lgbtq+ community and Severus is my favorite HP character and I was wondering (if you have the time and feel obliged) if you could please give me a few examples of how he’s queer? It’s been a few years since I reread the books, and def before I came out, so I’m a little in the dark here lol Thanks!!

First of all, I just wanted to apologize for how long it has taken me to properly respond to your ask. I’ve been dealing with some ongoing health issues that have turned me into something of a moody writer. I’ll get random spurts of energy and inspiration and then hit a wall of absolute writer’s block assisted by a major case of executive dysfunction every single time I try to respond to the multiple asks languishing in my inbox. Fortunately, I found myself involved in a discussion just today that addressed your ask so perfectly that I wanted to share it with you.  In the very least, that discussion has also managed to shake off my writer’s block temporarily so that I have found myself in the right head-space to finally be able to give this lovely ask the thought and attention that I feel it deserves. 

Although, in regards to the Snape discourse I linked above, I feel that I should warn you in advance that the discussion was prompted by an anti-Snape poster who made a rather ill-thought meme (I know there are many in the Snapedom who would rather just avoid seeing anti-Snape content altogether, so I try to warn when I link people to debates and discussions prompted by anti-posts) but the thoughtful responses that the anti-Snape poster unintentionally generated from members of the Snapedom (particularly by @deathdaydungeon whose critical analyses of Snape and, on occasions, other Harry Potter characters is always so wonderfully nuanced, thought-provoking, and well-considered), are truly excellent and worth reading, in my opinion. Also, as I fall more loosely under the “a” (I’m grey-ace/demisexual) of the lgbtqa+ flag and community I would prefer to start any discussions about Snape as a queer character or as a character with queer coding by highlighting the perspectives of people in the Snapedom who are actually queer before sharing any thoughts of my own.

In addition, I also wanted to share a few other posts where Snape’s queer coding has been discussed by members of the Snapedom in the past (and likely with far more eloquence than I could manage in this response of my own).

Source

Source

Source

Source

Source

Source

Source

Source

Source

Source

Along with an excellent article in Vice by Diana Tourjée, in which a case for Snape being trans is convincingly argued. 

Importantly, you’ll notice that while some of these discussions do argue the possibility of Snape being a queer or trans character others may only discuss the way that Snape’s character is queer coded. That is because there is a distinct but subtle difference between: “This character could be queer/lgbtq+” and: “This character has queer/lgbtq+ coding” one which is briefly touched on in the first discussion that I linked you to. However, I would like to elaborate a bit here just what I mean when I refer to Snape as a character with queer coding. As while Rowling has never explicitly stated that she intended to write Snape as lgbtq+ (although there is one interview given by Rowling which could be interpreted as either an unintentional result of trying to symbolically explain Snape’s draw to the dark arts or a vague nod to Snape’s possible bisexuality: "Well, that is Snape's tragedy. ... He wanted Lily and he wanted Mulciber too. He never really understood Lily's aversion; he was so blinded by his attraction to the dark side he thought she would find him impressive if he became a real Death Eater.”) regardless of her intent when she drew upon the existing body of Western literary traditions and tropes for writing antagonists and villains in order to use them as a red-herring for Snape’s character, she also embued his character with some very specific, coded subtext. This is where Death of the Author can be an invaluable tool for literary critics, particularly in branches of literary criticism like queer theory. 

Ultimately, even if Rowling did not intend to write Snape as explicitly queer/lgbtq+ the literary tradition she drew upon in order to present him as a foil for Harry Potter and have her readers question whether he was an ally or a villain has led to Snape being queer coded. Specifically, many of the characteristics of Snape’s character design do fall under the trope known as the “queering of the villain.” Particularly, as @deathdaydungeon, @professormcguire, and other members of the Snapedom have illustrated, Snape’s character not only subverts gender roles (e.g. his Patronus presents as female versus male, Snape symbolically assumes the role of “the mother” in the place of both Lily and later Narcissa when he agrees to protect Harry and Draco, his subject of choice is potions and poisons which are traditionally associated more with women and “witches,” while he seemingly rejects in his first introduction the more phallic practice of “foolish wand-waving,” and indeed Snape is characterized as a defensive-fighter versus offensive, in Arthurian mythology he fulfills the role of Lady of the Lake in the way he chooses to deliver the Sword of Gryffindor to Harry, Hermione refers to his hand-writing as “kind of girly,” his association with spiders and spinners also carries feminine symbology, etc.) but is often criticized or humiliated for his seeming lack of masculinity (e.g. Petunia mocking his shirt as looking like “a woman’s blouse,” which incidentally was also slang in the U.K. similar to “dandy” to accuse men of being effeminate, the Marauders refer to Snape as “Snivellus” which suggests Snape is either less masculine because he cries or the insult is a mockery of what could pass for a stereotypical/coded Jewish feature, his nose, Remus Lupin quite literally instructs Neville on how to “force” a Boggart!Snape, who incidentally is very literally stepping out of a closet-like wardrobe, into the clothing of an older woman and I quoted force because that is the exact phrase he uses, James and Sirius flipping Snape upside down to expose him again presents as humiliation in the form of emasculation made worse by the arrival and defense of Lily Evans, etc.). 

Overall, the “queering of the villain” is an old trope in literature (although it became more deliberate and prevalent in media during the 1950s-60s); however, in modernity, we still can find it proliferating in many of the Disney villains (e.g. Jafar, Scar, Ursula, etc.), in popular anime and children’s cartoons (e.g. HiM from Powerpuff Girls, James from Pokemon, Frieza, Zarbon, the Ginyu Force, Perfect Cell, basically a good majority of villains from DBZ, Nagato from Fushigi Yuugi, Pegasus from Yu Gi Oh, etc.), and even in modern television series and book adaptations, such as the popular BBC’s Sherlock in the character of Moriarty. Indeed, this article does an excellent job in detailing some of the problematic history of queer coded villains. Although, the most simple summary is that: “Queer-coding is a term used to say that characters were given traits/behaviors to suggest they are not heterosexual/cisgender, without the character being outright confirmed to have a queer identity” (emphasis mine). Notably, TV Tropes also identifies this trope under the classification of the “Sissy Villain” but in queer theory and among queer writers in fandom and academia “queering of the villain” is the common term. This brings me back to Snape and his own queer coding; mainly, because Rowling drew upon Western traditions for presenting a character as a suspected villain she not only wrote Snape as queer (and racially/ethnically) coded but in revealing to the reader that Snape was not, in fact, the villain Harry and the readers were encouraged to believe he was by the narrator she incorporated a long history of problematic traits/tropes into a single character and then proceeded to subvert them by subverting reader-expectation in a way that makes the character of Severus Snape truly fascinating. 

We can certainly debate the authorial intent vs. authorial impact where Snape’s character is concerned. Particularly as we could make a case that the polarizing nature of Snape may well be partly the result of many readers struggling against Rowling subverting literary tropes that are so firmly rooted in our Western storytelling traditions that they cannot entirely abandon the idea that this character who all but had the book thrown at him in terms of all the coding that went into establishing him as a likely villain (e.g. similar to Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, Snape is also coded to be associated with darkness/black colors and to represent danger and volatile/unstable moods, while his class status further characterizes him as an outsider or “foreign other,” and not unlike all those villains of our childhood Disney films which affirmed a more black-and-white philosophy of moral abolutism, such as Scar or Jafar, the ambiguity of Snape’s sexuality coupled with his repeated emasculation signals to the reader that this man should be “evil” and maybe even “predatory,” ergo all the “incel” and friendzone/MRA discourse despite nothing in canon truly supporting those arguments; it seems it may merely be Snape’s “queerness” that signals to some readers that he was predatory or even that “If Harry had been a girl” there would be some kind of danger) is not actually our villain after all. 

Indeed, the very act of having Snape die (ignoring, for the moment, any potential issues of “Bury Your Gays” in a queer analysis of his death) pleading with Harry to “look at him” as he symbolically seems to weep (the man whom Harry’s hyper-masculine father once bullied and mocked as “Snivellus”) memories for Harry to view (this time with his permission) carries some symbolic weight for any queer theory analysis. Snape, formerly portrayed as unfathomable and “secretive,” dies while pleading to be seen by the son of both his first and closest friend and his school-hood bully (a son that Snape also formerly could never see beyond his projection of James) sharing with Harry insight into who he was via his personal memories. For Harry to later go on to declare Snape “the bravest man he ever knew” carries additional weight, as a queer theory analysis makes it possible for us to interpret that as Harry finally recognizing Snape, not as the “queer coded villain” he and the reader expected but rather as the brave queer coded man who was forced to live a double-life in which “no one would ever know the best of him” and who, in his final moments at least, was finally able to be seen as the complex human-being Rowling always intended him to be. 

Rowling humanizing Snape for Harry and the reader and encouraging us to view Snape with empathy opened up the queer coding that she wrote into his character (intentionally or otherwise) in such a way that makes him both a potentially subversive and inspiring character for the lgbtq+ community. Essentially, Snape opens the door for the possibility of reclaiming a tradition of queer coding specific to villains and demonstrating the way those assumptions about queer identity can be subverted. Which is why I was not at all surprised that I was so easily able to find a body of existing discourse surrounding Snape as a queer coded or even as a potentially queer character within the Harry Potter fandom. At least within the Snapedom, there are many lgbtq+ fans of his character that already celebrate the idea of a queer, bi, gay, trans, ace/aro, or queer coded Snape (in fact, as a grey-ace I personally enjoy interpreting Snape through that lens from time-to-time). 

Thank you for your ask @pinkyhatespink and once again I apologize for the amount of time it’s taken me to reply. However, I hope that you’ll find this response answered your question and, if not, that some of the articles and posts from other pro-Snape bloggers I linked you to will be able to do so more effectively. Also, as a final note, although many of the scholarly references and books on queer coding and queering of the villain I would have liked to have sourced are typically behind paywalls, I thought I would list the names of just a few here that I personally enjoyed reading in the past and that may be of further interest should you be able to find access to them.

Fathallah, Judith. “Moriarty’s Ghost: Or the Queer Disruption of the BBC’s Sherlock.” Television & New Media, vol. 16, no. 5, 2014, p. 490-500. 

Huber, Sandra. “Villains, Ghosts, and Roses, or How to Speak With The Dead.” Open Cultural Studies, vol. 3, no. 1, 2019, p. 15-25.

Mailer, Norman. “The Homosexual Villain.” 1955. Mind of an Outlaw: Selected Essays, edited by Sipiora Phillip, Random House, 2013, pp. 14–20.

Solis, Nicole Eschen. "Murder Most Queer: The Homicidal Homosexual in the American Theater." Queer Studies in Media & Pop Culture, vol. 1, no. 1, 2016, p. 115+. 

Tuhkanen, Mikko. “The Essentialist Villain.” Jan. 2019,  SBN13: 978-1-4384-6966-9