#ill probably delete this later but you know
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lzrdprsn · 2 years ago
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It's really weird when you know someone in a context different from how everybody else knows them so you look at them and you still kind of see that person they used to be
#this post is about the boy i dated my senior year who was so incredibly sweet tbh wouldnt be the person i am today if i hadnt met him#but he was so fucked up he had so many issues it was really hard so it didnt work out but i loved him and i think he loved me too#but hes in a moderately successful band now which i just found out about do i looked them up and theyre good#but its so weird because its like i know that when you were 17 you wanted to be an underwater welder#i helped you clean your room at your grandmas house because you were so sad you couldnt do it yourself#i ditched 5th period AP English to sit on the steps behind the auditorium and listen to you talk about whatever#you pushed me on the swings and we took the bus to the movie theater and you liked cherry wraps and you played me my favorite songs#i havent REALLY thought about that guy in years and we were only together MAYBE 6 months but its so weird what you remember about people#and especially how you remember how they made you feel because he made me feel so good like i was in control#all my previous relationships was me trying to desperately please someone who wouldnt do the same for me#and honestly a lot of my relationships since have been the same especially in college and with the one girl who honestly if she called me#today i would drop everything and go be with her again no questions because i cant get her out of my head#but stuff witj him was never ever like that it was so easy it was like breathing even though it ended messy i have 0 regrets#and its nice to know that things are going well for him because honestly he changed my life a little bit#the way i dont give a fuck now is something i learned from him#ill probably delete this later but you know
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skunkes · 10 months ago
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natsmagi · 1 year ago
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sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents
first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!
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what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)
i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....
i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?
which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!
all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.
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teabutmakeitazure · 5 months ago
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me: there's cinnamon in the tea? ugh I don't like cinnamon in tea.
"you're so picky. you have to go to an unfamiliar house, so what're you gonna do if your mother-in-law likes cinnamon in tea? don't have such preferences. it's not attractive on a girl 😄"
yeah I'm busting my ass off and greying my hair and losing weight at an unhealthy rate for my degree so that a lady who I have never met in my life can dictate my life choices before I even meet her. okay.
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1am-s0-veryt1red · 4 months ago
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with the leaks to the 2nd to last chapter out can I just ask that we hold off on criticism of whoever until the last chapter is officially out? I know it's asking a lot
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dc-himbo · 1 year ago
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Jason x Transmasc!Reader - Early Morning Rambles
Don't mind me, I just need to get these thoughts out of my head. Most of these are NSFW. You've been warned. Minors dni, obviously. Just did reader because that's popular here and honestly I'd like to see myself in these anyways. Fair warning, there is use of fem terms to describe specific body parts. It's not that I don't want to use gender neutral or strictly masc terms, it's just a personal preference of mine as a TransMan. Also warning for use of pet names, daddy kink, sleepy morning sex, we gotta fuck now sex, praise....I think that's everything.
Also, I am intentionally using he/him pronouns and not using you/yours. Let's get to it.
Note after writing: Might switch to you/yours. It's not confusing for me, but I can see how it would be for others. Jason's POV. Also I got carried away. Hehehe
Jason loves lazy early mornings. He loves the sunlight streaming in from the curtains. He loves the warmth of it on his skin. He loves the way his boy looks cuddled under warm blankets and pressed close to him.
He gets caught up in it. He gets overwhelmed by the warmth and the way his body fits perfectly against his own. He can't stop touching him. He has to. He has to know he is really there and that this is real and not a dream. His fingers trace over his spine, he gets lost in the feeling of soft warm skin.
It's not enough
Fuck.
It's just...it's not enough.
He's selfish. He needs more. Wants more. He wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer. One arm around his waist, the other around his chest. Jason's lips press soft, slow, lazy open mouth kisses to his neck.
Pretty boy
Sweet boy
My sweet boy.
Jason still can't believe that he's the one who gets to see him like this. Who gets to touch him...kiss him. He should let him sleep, but he can't help it. He just fucking can't help it. He needs to touch you. He needs to have you.
Now
He needs him now
Jason's hands waste no time sliding down down down until he's dipping fingers in to gather wetness so he can slide his fingers over his little cock. He knows how he likes it. He's fucking memorized it. Burned it into his brain so he will never fucking forget. Slow soft steady strokes that have those little noises he loves falling from his lips as he starts to wake up.
"Jay...what are...ah..."
He never gives his boy time to get this thoughts together. To wake up fully. No. He wants him like this. He wants him soft and warm and thoughtless.
"Morning Pretty Boy." Jason loves how he moans at the praise. "Tell me what you need." He would give him the world if he asked for it. He would do anything for him. It should scare him. It does most days. But mornings like this he doesn't let that fear distract him.
His boy takes too long to answer, but Jason doesn't care. It gives him time to suck a few hickeys down his throat, to stroke his fingers over his boys cock, to dip his fingers inside his tight hole and stretch him open. Get him ready. He loves this. He loves working his boy up until he's moaning and panting and arching against him. Until he's desperate and needy. Until he's begging for him.
"Jason please. Need you. Fuck...please fuck me."
Finally.
Fucking finally.
It's effortless. Fuck...it's too easy. He wastes no time in pulling his leg up. He wastes no time as he lines up and slides inside him with a groan. Jason is overwhelmed by how good he feels. Overwhelmed by tight walls gripping him and milking him and fuck fuck fuck fuck.
His boy is cumming.
Fuck
"Love my tight little boy's pussy...'m close baby. So good. So good for me." Jason get lost in praise. He can't stop telling him how he feels...how good he is...how much he loves him...how much he loves his body.
Jason feels like he cums against his will. He slams deep, holds himself there as he fills him up. Jason isn't done. No. He can't be done. He doesn't want to be. He needs to feel his boy squeeze him again. He tell him as much as he strokes that little cock until he is cumming hard, arching and gasping and begging and saying his name like it's fucking music to his ears.
Jason loves lazy early mornings. He loves how he looks in the sunlight, all flushed and sweaty and sweet and dazed. He loves seeing his boy fucked out. He loves him. He loves him. He wraps his arms around him and kisses over the marks he left on his neck. He loves him. He hopes that will be enough to keep this for as long as he fucking can.
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horrorknife · 7 months ago
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the thing that really Gets me is how much adam and lawrence absolutely broke the mold and subverted john's expectations so much. john thinks he can predict most human behavior, and based on the way we hear him talk about lawrence throughout the movies, he clearly didn't have a high opinion of him At All before putting him into the bathroom (duh why else is he there), but i don't think he expected lawrence to fuck it up so bad.
really, yes, the bathroom does have a massive hand in changing lawrence, but i think adam's presence is what threw a wrench into how everything was going to go. i think if it had been anyone else, lawrence might not have done things the same way. adam, even though he's inflammatory and terribly mean at times, the same way lawrence is, has more empathy available to him and voices that on several occasions. this contrasts lawrence HUGELY because lawrence is so self-centered, his entire world is in his own head. but adam, despite lawrence shoving and pushing and reacting first with anger and never understanding, is kind and gentle at times. lawrence's sincere moments are few and far between, and certainly not as frequent as adam's, but i think they're just as important.
adam changes lawrence so hugely that he may as well just have ripped the floor out from underneath the guy. you SEE it happen. he crawls over to adam after adam kills zep (and i think this detail is incredibly important because ADAM is the one to kill the guy who lawrence assumes has killed or severely injured his family. adam's killing him bc he thinks zep is jigsaw but lawrence makes it personal to him like he does everything.) despite the fact that he's bleeding the fuck out and shouldn't be taking extra time, but he Needs to give adam some semblance of comfort because he's realizing Finally that this isn't just about him and never was. he thinks he'll be able to come back for adam, he means it when he says that he isn't lying; this is lawrence's turning point, this is where he undergoes the biggest change. and adam doesn't believe him, because he doesn't think lawrence is the type of person to change, he thinks he's lying because that's all he's heard lawrence do for eight hours straight. and it fucking kills me because even though they've started to know each other in ways no other human will ever understand, adam can't trust lawrence because he has no reason to while lawrence basically rewrites his entire life philosophy because of what happened with adam in that fucking bathroom.
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prussianvenom · 8 months ago
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linkedin-corp · 3 months ago
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lzrdprsn · 1 year ago
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Kurt Cobain: A sonnet by 1 of my 9th graders
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"Music is subjective, ain't that a fact
From mumble rap to hopeless fools
Most artists these days are frankly quite trash
Not to mention they sound like pathetic tools.
Kurt, you were special, you were a star
You blew everyone else out of the field.
As you would say 'Come As You Are'
To fresh fans, those words wouldn't yield.
But your voice was tired and filled with much pain
Nobody knew how you truly felt.
Masses thought you had everything to gain
But with this pain, few knew with how you dealt.
I love you for all of this, but one thing I can't forgive
Is the world of new annoying Nirvana fans in which we live."
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jabeur · 1 month ago
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was taken aback by my coworker's genuine kindness today and then taken aback by my (new) other coworker's lack of tact and humanity lol
#suicide tw#for my next tags and GRAPHIC kind of so take care#but i genuinely think if you say something like 'i don't think he actually wanted to kill himself. if you want to slit your wrists you do#it you don't just slit them a little bit'#you should probably consider shutting the fuck up ??????#like that lacks so much compassion and not to mention a lot of us in that office are mentally ill or have a history of mental illness#which i think she doesn't know she literally got here 2 days ago#but holy shit maybe don't just start talking about someone you know slitting their wrists with people you barely know?#it was so unnecessary too like she was telling a story but she could've just said he attempted suicide no need to be specific about the#method. like it was extremely triggering for me i was genuinely so shaken#also lmao. clearly she's never tried to slit her wrists .... idk if it was a me problem but it's not as easy as it seems lol#it's actually in my experience the hardest method. that i've tried. for a few reasons i'm not getting into but it also takes lots of guts#so maybe don't go around saying 'if you REALLY want to kill yourself in that way then you just DO IT'#and if you really wanted to be a piece of shit you could just say i think suicidal people are a bunch of cowards or something lol#ALSO LIKE. before that she was like 'my friend's son who's not well.. he has severe psychological problems poor thing...'#like 😭😭😭😭 can you not treat us like we're poor little souls who need to be pitied. thanks#god i hate ppl sometimes. it'd take 0 effort to just not say things that could make others feel bad and yet#delete later
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impostorsshow · 3 months ago
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Eugh, making a disclaimer I'm not proship or antiship but this does discuss that topic so. Beware or whatever I'm gonna post Hatsune Miku tomorrow
I've had it on my mind for awhile and this is my fucking soapbox and I'm allowed to do what I want so; those fucking "recovering proshipper" TikToks drive me fucking insane are those ragebait and I'm just falling for it or what because all of the comments are fucking genuine and all of them are just shit like "what I ate today" and not even fucking related, like stop mocking people recovering from Actual Disorders and life damaging events
YOU DO NOT. "RECOVER" FROM PROSHIPPING this proship/antiship bullshit is stupid and everyone on both sides just needs to touch some fucking grass and that's coming from someone with a vitamin d deficiency
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mchi22 · 5 months ago
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im going to actually injure myself trying to beat this song
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rachelcommitscrimes · 1 year ago
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“i’m so delulu” girls when i say that i once believed i was put on this earth to fix the earth’s economy and eliminate the lower class
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aroacedavestrider · 2 years ago
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Trans women talking about misogyny doesn’t mean they hate trans men, cry harder to ur terf friends
good job dipshit youve successfully demonstrated to the class what the strawman fallacy is. how is it that youre able to recognize that trans women talking about transmisogyny isnt an attack on trans men but not vice versa
you really gotta be plugging your ears and ignoring the shit out of trans men if you think that anybody with a brain is arguing what youre accusing us of lmao. which lemme check my Transandromisia List, oh shit
talking over us, erasure of our experiences, purposeful misconstruing to make us out as the Bad Guys (thats you!)
calling us terfs and grouping us in with actual dangerous oppressors (also you!)
othering us in some us vs. them type bullshit (you did that!)
dogg i dunno how to tell you this but youre an s-tier example of why trans men are fed up to the point where theres a brand sparkly new movement that pisses you off. maybe youre pressed cause were trying to dismantle the oppression olympics and you think youre winning. too bad sunshine, nobodys a fucking winner when it comes to any flavor of transphobia. pull your head out of your terminally online ass and go interact with somebody. go think about why trans men discussing their struggles is such a fucking issue for you
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raspberryzingaaa · 1 year ago
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Thinking about going to World Most Boring Bible Study Ever. Idk yall. Idk. Idek.
#the number of times i have faked a call yo leave early. the number of times ive played solitaire on my phone. i got to the potty to kill tim#like! just answer questions its not that hard!!!!!!#you dont even need to be right just throw some spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks!#also group leaders stop reading questions from a script from your phone#ALSO PLEASE CAN WE STOP GOING THROUGH THE SAME VERSES WE GO THROUVH ON SUNDAYS#this is why we have a split in our life group/church crowdm just sayin#i just. i just miss doing bible studys with people who were way smarter than me#being a church kid in a college church is just 👁👄👁#i shpuldnt be dreading going to bible study!!!!!!#so its probably a me problem right?!#and also the group leaders have had to tell me to stfu more than once (politely. which was really annoying. dont pussyfoot around!!)#also our only bible study is also our ~only space for new comers~ so i get in trouble if i get too meaty in my excitements and theology#EHICH SHOJLDNT BE MY FAULT!!!!!!!#and YEAH it IS my fault that its my only spot where im spiritually feeding. but also there is a secret eomens group people mention that..#i guess im just excluded from? but also i know most of the women dont like me bc I have interminable Doesnt Shut Up Disease l#like i understand fhat yes it is a little my fault rhat me talking about deep theology makes them feel inadequate but also THAT SHOULDNT BE#guh. i also forgot my meds today so im a little bit more mulish and hard hearted#and i KNOW its a teachable moment amd God is usimg this to temper me or something else but im feelimg grumblr#and ill probably delete this later.#and i have to got to work ok bye
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