#i helped you clean your room at your grandmas house because you were so sad you couldnt do it yourself

[lzrdprsn]

It's really weird when you know someone in a context different from how everybody else knows them so you look at them and you still kind of see that person they used to be

[a-concert-just-for-me]

Whatever hasn't been answered/whatever ones you feel like answering of these (cuz it's a lot lol): 1-4, 6-7, 12-13, 16, 21-23, 25-28, 31-32, 35-36, 43-44, 47-49, 51-52, 54-56, 59-65, 68, 70, 73, 79, 81-82, 84-85, 87, 89-94, 97-100

Noddy you’re insane. But I also like a challenge. Here’s most of them.

1. What were your summers like as a kid? My grandma and grandpa lived right next door, they took care of us while my parents had to work. In the summer, I usually just played pretend outside with my two cousins and sister that also lived next door on the other side of us.

2. Do you enjoy thrilling rides like rollercoasters? Yes!

3. Who was your childhood hero? I looked up to the creators of atla a lot!

4. What is your favorite book? Probably still Behemoth, the second book in the Leviathan series by Scott Westerfeld

6. What is your favorite outfit? Probably my cherry blossom tee with a pink skirt. Comfy and cute.

7. Does seeing people in love make you happy? Sad? Annoyed? Annoyed and jealous, if I’m being honest. I wish I could feel that way. At least as naturally as other people.

12. Iced drinks or hot drinks? Iced drinks. My favorite drinks are iced coffee and iced tea.

13. Bright colors or neutral tones? Hmm. Probably neutral. I’m a big fan of pastels, if that counts.

16. What’s your favorite feature of yours? As much as I complain, probably my squinty eyes. My Dad and Grandpa both have them too and I like that I inherited that feature from them. I think it’s endearing that our eyes disappear when we smile, lol.

21. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into? I remember arguing with a cousin over the phone when I was little on if it’s okay to run a red light if no one else is at the intersection. I insisted it was because my grandpa told me it was. She valiantly disagreed. That phone call lasted forever XD

23. What's your dream date? I don’t know. Maybe a movie or car ride so I don’t have to make eye contact LMAO

25. Do you like parties? Nope. Too loud.

26. Did you enjoy high school? Somehow, yes. I liked band and during lunch I got a break from everyone by eating lunch in a teacher’s room.

27. Who is the craziest person in your family and why? Pfft. Dear lord. Just one? My family has issues. Gonna skip over the mental illnesses and addictions and interpret this lightheartedly. My bisexual??? aunt is the life of any party. She can make friends anywhere. She lies all the time, over the dumbest things too. She is so fucking funny and problematic and I love her.

28. What's your favorite holiday tradition? 4th of July. My grandpa hosts the best party in the area at his house. My uncle and dad are usually the ones that organize it. Along with the help of most other family members who cook, clean, set up, etc. A lot of people come out and we eat barbecue, play games, light sprinklers, and watch the fireworks show.

31. What's a show that everyone loves that you didn't? Survivor. It’s so boring to me.

35. Who are your top 5 celebrity crushes? Only one I can think of is Robert Sheehan. I love his hair.

36. If you could learn one language fluently what would it be? Ugh this is hard. The weeb in me says Japanese. The “language I’ve studied but am not great at” in me says Chinese. And the practicality in me says Spanish.

44. Do you have a favorite quote? “And the universe said I love you because you are love” and “despite everything, it’s still you.”

47. Biggest pet peeve? Someone demanding me to do a task without 1. prior notice and/or 2. me even agreeing to it

48. Favorite personality trait about yourself? I care a lot about fairness.

49. Sum up your type in three words. Goofy. Kind. Introverted.

52. Hot or cold weather? Cold weather

56. Favorite dessert? Cookie cake

61. What's your guilty pleasure movie? The Spongebob Movie

62. What's your comfort movie? Also The SpongeBob Movie

63. Is there a genre of music you don't like? Not a huge fan of country. Or rap with a lot of bass in it. Sensory ick

64. What's an album that you think has no skips on it? Through the Tides by Fish in a Birdcage

65. What's your favorite thing to watch on youtube? Reaction videos and aviation/diving disaster documentaries

68. What are you craving right now? Indian food

70. What's something you haven't done that you think most people have? Been in a relationship.

73. What time of day do you like best? Night

79. Do you like surprises? Hell no

81. What books influenced you most as a child? The Leviathan series, also the Care and Keeping of You books

82. Do you like kids? Yes! They can just be overstimulating sometimes.

84. Any wild stories passed around in your family? Apparently one time my dad and (older) cousin were walking across the beach on their way back to us from the bar and my dad tripped on a cord. The cord came unplugged and he accidentally cut off the music to someone’s wedding. Oops.

85. Do you consider yourself an independent person? Socially and emotionally? For the most part. Financially? No.

87. What was your childhood dream? I wanted to be a counselor to do better for the mentally ill kids like me than any of the “professionals” that handled me did when I was at my worst

89. What's one thing you want to achieve this year? Get a job that doesn’t make me burn out (impossible challenge)

93. What's your craziest work related story? One time a kid bit me on my boob really hard and left a bruise for weeks. One time another kid bit my finger and made it bleed so hard I had to go to the urgent care. One time one of our kids somehow spelled out the word ‘sexy ❤️’ by placing random letter stickers

94. What's the best job you've had so far? Being a carhop. It had a lot of downsides too but it is the only one I haven’t gotten fired/nearly fired from due to my autism swag yet LMAO

97. Are you more of a planner or a spontaneous adventurer? Planner, for sure

98. Do you think you see yourself the way other people see you? No. Depending on the context, most people would either see me as pretty wise and smart for some reason (friends) or the dumbest and most immature person you’ve ever had the displeasure of working with (coworkers). It seems like there’s never any middle ground. I’d like to think I’m in the middle of those extremes.

99. What's the last show you binged? The Owl House

100. What's one of your fondest memories? Making shadow puppets for my sister as we snuggled up in her bed when we were little

OKAY I’M DONE

[animalistic0]

The Spider Deity

You know the saying, everything will work out? What they don’t tell you is that it doesn’t always work out in your favor. Let me start from the beginning, so you’re caught up to speed. 

Now I know most stories start with, years ago, or when I was a child. Those are most definitely outdated, but this did start years ago, more specifically when I inherited my maternal grandmother’s farmhouse. I was eighteen at the time, and starting college that fall. It was my first time living on my own, and more importantly, the house was all paid off! It had a recently redone well, and solar panels. As you can tell, my grandmother was a self-sufficient woman especially after grandfather died and most of her children moved away. My mother was the only one to stay with grandma, of course, I also stayed. Lardie, my grandmother refused to rely upon electric and water companies as she believed that she shouldn’t have to pay for electricity, water, or even food. Oh, which leads me to inform you that she had not only a garden but a farm on the property. Which I also inherited, from a large garden holding fruits, vegetables, and grain, to the animal pens holding sheep, chickens, cows, and even pigs. There was also a field for horses, but the last horse she had died two years before she did.  

As for why I inherited it and not my mother or her siblings, well my mother died when I was ten. It wasn’t really traumatic, it was more sad and stupid than anything. My mom, Linda, (yes my grandmother was a big L-name fan which I’ll explain in a moment,) died by a flashlight. Now I know you’re wondering how a flashlight can kill someone, well this is where it gets more stupid and sad. She was a huge bike-riding fan and was riding to the store one evening, and instead of strapping the flashlight to her handlebars, she put the flashlight in her mouth. (Why? I don’t know, I never got the chance to ask her, as she’s dead.) You see where this is going. I should also mention she never wore a helmet either. Okay so, with the flashlight in her mouth and no helmet on, she was going downhill and everyone knows how fast you go downhill, well as she hit the bottom of the hill in some freaky coincidental accident, from what we can assume her front tire hit a pebble and flung her off. She landed face first, her flashlight crushing through her skull. Now doctors assume she would have lived if she didn’t have the flashlight in her mouth, though she would have definitely had some nasty scars, but that’s how my mom died. My grandmother banned me from riding a bike at night after that, like at all, to the point that when the sun started to set she’d lock the bikes up. She also took me in because my father had never been in my life. (A long story for a much later time.) 

Now, my aunt Lucy and my uncle Lee, (see the L-name obsession), weren’t really involved with my mom or grandmother after they moved away and had their own families. Uncle Lee didn’t like the whole self-sustaining lifestyle my grandmother lived, and well Aunt Lucy she um, well she took Grandpa’s death really hard, saying she couldn’t be around us because the memories were too hard. So it was just a few folks that knew my mother through work and school, and of course grandmother and myself who attended her funeral. Now because my grandmother was my legal guardian and my aunt and uncle weren’t involved, that’s how I inherited the farmhouse.  

Grandma died at eighty-six, peacefully in her sleep from a stroke. She was sick for the last few months but refused to get help, she passed just four months after my eighteenth birthday. She was thirty-six when she had my mother, and was seventy-eight when she became my legal guardian. Now you’re almost all the way caught up, just a little bit more context. 

Now this is when the chaos begins. Now I had never moved out of the house so there wasn’t really any moving I had to do when I inherited the house. However, I did have to clean out Grandma Lardie’s room. Which wasn’t too difficult, she didn’t have much, I should also mention she was a minimalist but did keep every gift that I had given and made for her. I couldn’t find it in myself to part with her stuff, but I also couldn’t bring myself to keep staring at it. So I moved it into the attic and kept her room closed. 

Now see, having spiders around or inside a farmhouse isn’t abnormal, so when I noticed a spider here or there I shrugged it off. Especially the select three I had found in different corners of the attic while I was putting grandma’s stuff up there. They weren’t harming me, in fact, I started to notice fewer other pests, especially the bugs I hate. Like mosquitoes, flies, or even cockroaches. So if I saw one, depending on my mood I’d either just leave it be or capture it only to release it outside. 

Now, I can hear the people who have arachnophobia judging me, but again it’s normal to have spiders around, especially in a farmhouse, but don’t get it mixed up. We don’t, well usually don’t get an infestation of spiders, but like I said earlier not everything works out in your favor. Now while I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, I’m also not the dumbest, however, the following events would disprove me having any smarts, though it could also be explained as me being oblivious. As they say, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” and after hearing how my mother died, well you get the picture. 

The first sign that I missed that perhaps there was an issue came a week after I had moved all of Grandma’s belongings into the attic. It had been a rough day and I wanted to seek out the comfort of my grandmother. So I visited the attic. Okay, looking back there is no excuse for me not acting or thinking it was anything but abnormal, but at the time I shrugged it off. So, you know, how I mentioned there were three spiders when I moved Nana Lardie’s items into the attic? Well, a week later when I visited it had to be somewhere of around fifty spiders. I know, I know! But, the arachnids weren’t strawn about any of Nana’s or mine items, they covered the ceiling and the higher areas of the walls. They didn’t bother or hinder me from getting anything or from chilling in the room. So I ignored them. 

The other sign that I missed was the quickly growing number that kept appearing in the attic. Every time I entered the attic it seemed like the spiders had multiplied and covered even more parts of the attic. Still they never, or at least I never found them on our items or even traces that they had been around the items. There was also always room, untouched where I could maneuver to and fro from our items. 

By the third sign, I should have done something, but at the time I was still oblivious. Now the third sign wasn't anything big, like them growing in numbers in the first two signs. Sign three, well it sounds odd, but I would find small ‘gifts’ wrapped in web where I would sit when I came into the attic to feel Nana’s presence. By gifts I mean, coins, pebbles, pens, and I even once found a Hershey's Kiss (wrapped in foil and webs.) Now looking back I can understand how odd that is, but legitimately I don’t think I ever really processed that it could have been gifts or offerings from the spiders. 

In fact, it wasn’t till the fifth sign that I think the idea of “this is a problem” crossed my mind. I’m jumping ahead though, the fourth sign was minor, it was basically individual spiders that would get close, in my line of sight, and they’d start dancing. You know like their matting dances but different. Most of the time I didn’t see or I didn’t acknowledge them, I mean it's not like they were speaking to me. Ah…. Now that leads to sign five even perhaps a sixth sign. It’ll make since when I tell you. 

I didn't understand the spiders at first, I mean who would? I also was slow to realize that the spiders were getting smarter, in other words, evolving. Eventually, though, I noticed tiny items on some of the spider's heads, similar to hats, I should also mention I noticed them around the same time I thought I was hearing voices. Turns out, probably as you've guessed, it was the helmets allowing the spiders to speak to me and me to understand them. Crazy I know!

Now you’re almost caught up to speed, but there are still a few key points I need to mention. The hat thing came first, or it’s the first time I really paid attention to the evolving spiders. Now at first, I heard simple words like, “food, shelter, communication, preach, god”, and so on. Again, I thought I was going crazy until this eight-legged jumping spider landed on my shoulder and bowed! I mean like an actually bow, like this little fella held out its two front legs upwards and out as it lowered its body and spread out its other legs. I was shocked of course and was about to flick it off my shoulder when I noticed the hat and then a soft voice called out, “My lorrrrd!” 

I paused my finger before it could reach the arachnid and answered with a shocked, “Excuse me?” Though, I don’t think the spider understood what I meant because it gently tapped my shoulder with its left front leg before bowing again, its voice dragging the words almost like how an evil villain would. “My lorrrrd, please don’t be angry.” Let’s just say I fled the room like I needed to charge my phone that was on one percent and the charger was in the other room. I avoided the attic for the next month, as I tried to wrap my head around what had happened. 

People always say that aliens will come to Earth, but what if the aliens are from Earth, are beings that we have always underestimated? What if everything we grew up knowing and believing just evaporated before our very own eyes? I mean talking spiders, what are the odds or even the chances? 

Now, you’re all caught up to speed. You may be wondering, well what happened? We’re about to find out. It’s been a month since the talking spider incident and the handle on the door to the attic looked haunting and the anticipation of what waits behind the door is enough to make me want to turn around. But I allowed this situation to get here and now I must face what awaits.

The scene I open the door to is quite the sight, It’s nothing like actually seeing it, but I’ll try my best to do it justice. Around the four walls of the attic are legit, like professional-made, web murals of well, me!  These aren’t small murals either, imagine the Statue of Liberty, but for spiders, that’s how large these four portraits were. Below each mural was an altar that held private items of mine that I had put in totes and boxes because I didn’t have room around the house. At each altar there was a framed picture of myself, and surrounding the framed images, were trinkets and even old toys of mine. However, what really surprised me, was the newest items, like a TV remote, a hairbrush, even a toothbrush, and my favorite spoon, all of the things that had gone missing in the last month. 

Now the altars weren’t even the craziest part. You know those little-scale model cities that some adults have in their homes? Imagine that but everything is made of webs, and hundreds if not thousands of spiders milling around.  Surprisingly the area I used to sit at was left untouched, and so was Nana’s and my items, of course minus the trinkets that they had taken from my boxes. 

I heard them before I truly saw them. Thousands of voices all chanting the same things over and over again. “It’s her! Our lord, she’s back. Our lord is alive. All hail our deity.” The words rolled off all their tongues like a purring vibration of those spinning light-up wands. 

And that is how I not only came to realize a growing spider civilization but came to rule it.

And as all stories must come to an end I must end this here, but remember this, this is only the beginning...

You realize you should’ve done something about the spiders in your attic before they multiplied, gained intelligence and started a civilization. Recently they started worshipping you as their deity.

[patrixiajoi]

My life during Semestral break

My whole Semestral break was so peaceful and at the same time it was productive; being productive during our semestral break really helps me a lot and it even helps me with my everyday routine. During our vacation, I spent most of my time in our house with my siblings and grandparents; it was also fun spending time with them. It was short period of time but memorable one. It is the time of giving break from acads and to yourself. Because almost all my time have been spent from school hour nor time for making assignments and projects even though I'm at home. I maximized those short vacation by helping in the house chores, like cleaning rooms, taking care of my siblings at the same time playing with them, cleaning all my rubber shoes since I love collecting it. I'm a bookworm also, because reading makes me feel like dreaming like something magical can happen. It yes, was indeed a time to rest in waking up early morning just to prepare for school.

School is fun but exhausting. Well I guess that's life! It's all about hard works, and hard works always pay of. There's no shortcuts. You need patience and consistent in all things in able for you to achieve all of your dreams. My goal to be on top and finish my studies. having a good education will lead you to success because school provides knowledge and intelligence for several people in the word cannot afford for their kids to go to school so it's important for us to learn how to read, write and communicate. Semestral break is indeed a time to forget all the problem that we have encountered specially in school, and time to have peaceful mind without thinking about assignments nor projects. During those times, I had enjoyed a lot because I can finally rest my brain even just for a week. And that was perfect! I had found time to be with my family specially my brother and sister since they're growing so fast. I like hanging out with them and I know they're too. My mom always tells me that time spent with family is worth every second. As you may know, I grew up that my mom was always away since she's an international flight attendant. Its hard to have an overseas Filipino worker mom but I do understand the situation, she's earning money for us so we can achieve our dream and so we can buy everything that we need or want. And one day I want to become like her, to be a flight attendant so I would be able to travel the world and learn different cultures and meet different people.

I also hang out with my friends. I went to their house or they went to ours so we could hangout even just a hour. Take the time to catch up on our upcoming lesson, when the semestral break is over and back to school, I would have advance knowledge in the topic on that subjects. I also like listening to music. It makes me calm, helps me sleep better and most of the time makes me productive. I and my siblings as well as my grandma and grandpa went to cemetery to visit my relatives like my grandpa, uncles and aunties who already passed away. It's sad that I wasn't able to meet them when they were still alive but mom says, grandpa was amazing and as well her brother and sisters. If I can bring back the time, I would like to meet them in person.

Students most likely of our age really crave for a vacation or break especially those who are really stressed and drained out during the school days. We are always expecting for vacation/break because we think that we need to have a break in academic. The keep saying millennials is far from Gen-Z in term of everything, like lifestyle, bonding, even using gadgets. That’s why sometimes I and mom have conflict. Good thing daddy is always to the rescue. My parents are strict; I have limited time using my phone. I could only go out of our house when I need to go to my classmate's house for a project but I still have a curfew. but I know it is  for my own good. I know they’re just protecting me in this uncertain world and they only want the best for me. Going back to the topic, sembreak really helps us a lot it gives us a break in academic validation. I also hang out with my highschools friends like Kiesha, Chloe and Chrizia we played a lot like playing board games, codm and roblox then we bought Jollibee for our lunch then we went to xentro mall so we could have shopping. I can say that it was somehow fun.

I learned that our Sem break / vacations should be spent wisely. We have to use our time wise and we should be more productive so that we can do more things and be more organized. I was so happy when the DEPED order announced that we had a semestral break but before our semestral break I complied all the activities and quizzes that I missed. Vacation means a gentleness with ourselves, helps you relieve stress and boredom and gives us scenery, and help us to bring closer to people we love. As our vacation comes to an end I’m grateful for the moments I shared with family and friends. It’s always bittersweet but the memories last forever. It’s also a reminder to appreciate the moment and cherish the memories of past. For now, it time to focus again in my studies again. Like my mom always says, keep your eye on the goal. One day, I will fly soar high and waking up in different country. For now I just need to wake up and go to school and keep my focus intact.

[faeassassin]

I forgot.

TW: childhood abuse

I've been saying for years "at least I wasn't beaten as a child".

I could never forget the emotional abuse. I could never forget the sexual abuse.

But I forgot the physical abuse. Not the spankings that were considered harmless and good parenting in the late 70s and early 80s when I was a young child and I had to be hit for my own good. Those never put me in the hospital.

A few weeks ago, I was talking about a recurring pain I get that shoots down my left arm, and I've had it since I was a child. Nerve pain. It's fairly random, but it really strikes when I'm under stress. Thanks to wild assumptions by my grandma, I wondered for years if it was heart related, but that never seemed right. Still, my anxiety fed off of it and made it worse.

It's this nerve pain that takes my breath away. It makes me stop everything until the pain stops, because that pain is my whole world for a moment. Then it goes away.

Anyway, I was mentioning it to my dad, and he reminded me.

When he was in the Army, stationed in Germany, my mom lost her temper a lot. She was very young, and she was all alone with two children, and I think she assumed her extended family up in Utah would help her more than they did.

What I never forgot was going to the VA, and my left arm wasn't working because it was dislocated, and it hurt a lot. The nurse was a man, and he very kindly helped me put my arm into place without hurting it worse, and he was proud of me for being so brave. I remember saying, "That was easy! Can you show me how to do it myself in case it happens again? I don't want to go to the hospital again." I didn't mean "again" by that time. What I didn't forget was that I was talking about a previous time my arm was dislocated, and putting it back in socket had hurt a LOT. This came with a vague recollection of going down the stairs, and fear, and pain.

My dad said, "Well, that pain might be because you dislocated your arm a few times when you were little, living with your mom. That was bound to leave some damage."

It unlocked a world full of memories.

I was 18 months old when my dad's best friend risked (and gave up) that friendship to call the police on my mom. We lived in Glendale, AZ. My mom and my grandma (my dad's mom) both said that "someone" had called CSP for neglect and filthy living conditions. There were dirty diapers piled up to waist height in the room my sister and I shared. When my grandma tried to clean up the diapers, cockroaches scurried up the walls, climbed over each other to the ceiling, and fell into the crib my sister and I shared. They had 24 hours to clean it up, and it wasn't enough time, so my mom fled the state with us to live with her mom in California.

But that's not what happened.

My dad's best friend called the police because he suspected my sister and I were being abused, and he was right.

My literal earliest memory has always been that day. I was potty trained by that age, but my sister wasn't, and since we were driving from Phoenix to Buena Vista, my mom put me in one of my sister's diapers. I was sad, I was scared, I was angry, I was tired, I felt insulted, and I didn't have the words to express any of it. We got to my other grandma's house and I was hungry and I was put in a high chair that was too small and I flailed my arms as my grandma put my milk down and it spilled all over my food. I was immediately terrified because I expected to go hungry at best, beaten at worst. And my grandma, bless her, said the first words I'd ever remember clearly. "There, there. There's no use crying over spilled milk." She then laughed, and hugged me tight, and I cried harder for a moment, and then I calmed down. I wasn't being blamed. I was given more food. And I think I was finally taken out of the diaper right after that, but my memories are fuzzy after that. I was a toddler. And I was finally safe for the moment.

I know how young I was, because when I was 13 my mom and my sister and I were talking about our earliest memories and when I told her that she insisted I didn't really remember that. "You would have been 18 months old. Nobody can remember being that young." I started going into detail, and she went pale, then changed the subject.

That memory is vivid, but I've mined it several times because there was so much that I just didn't understand. Why was I so scared? Why had I been put in a diaper? Why was I expecting to be in trouble for ruining my food? When I was little I'd take out that memory and only think about the good parts and see it on a surface level. The "spilled milk" adage gave it some staying power because whenever someone else said it the link was reinforced. But I still wondered about some of the discomfort that lived alongside those words. (I was given a yellow Tupperware sippy cup, and I vaguely remember peas and carrots with animal crackers being drenched in the milk. No one should have a memory that vivid from that age last this long unless it's wrapped in some pretty deep trauma...which I've pieced together over the years that it was.)

There were other pieces of memories that point to the abuse. My mom mentioned when I was 8 that she'd stopped hitting us kids with anything but her hand after she broke her hairbrush spanking my sister. When questioned about it, she said she had to back then because our diapers were so thick that we wouldn't feel being hit otherwise. (Also, it wasn't true, because if no one else was around she'd still hit us with wooden spoons. The "bare hand" idea had been my dad's limit, not hers. If he was going to hit us, he wanted to feel the pain of it as well. So, props for trying I guess, but that's the 80s for you.) I told her that it had hurt, and she called me a liar, and again questioned my memory. She honestly thought I'd never remember being that young.

But this pain in my arm? She used to get impatient with me when I wanted to do something myself. I was the big girl, I had to be an example for my baby sister, so I *could* go down those stairs alone even if we were in a hurry. But because I'm blind in one eye I was probably slower than even most kids, lacking depth perception. Yes, I fell down stairs a lot, too. Not this time, however. When I push, I remember being yelled at to hurry up. I remember my mom was carrying my sister, and she yanked me by the arm to pull me the rest of the way down the stairs.

Most of all, through the pain, I remember being coached. Don't tell anyone she pulled me by the arm. If anyone asks, I slipped and her arms were full, and she tried to catch me.

This was normal. This was repeated behavior. I didn't question it this time, because the threat was always that if I told the truth I'd be taken away. And, by the time I went to the VA for that emergency room visit I remember clearly, we were living in Utah and family was *forever* and I'd better not do anything to threaten Heavenly Father's great plan for us.

I was coached. It was normal. Because my sister and I were assaulted many times, and my mom had been threatened with CPS many times, had run away with us once already, and I tried to protect my sister and be strong so she didn't have to be, and by the time I was five I was tying together everything in my room with string so that if I closed the door hard enough maybe everything would fall and crush me and I could go to heaven so all the pain and fear and confusion could finally end. When my dad completed his service in the Army, I couldn't let go of him because my mom was different around other people, she wouldn't hurt us around other people, she wouldn't yell at us for things I did but didn't know what I had done wrong around other people, and I felt betrayed when my dad had to go to a job because that meant that there would be HOURS every day when I wasn't safe. But that was NORMAL, and I wasn't allowed to say anything to anyone or I'd be taken away.

The last couple of months I've been looking at all these memories that got stirred up by talking about my arm pain. Putting puzzle pieces together. Because I'd forgotten I'd been physically assaulted by the only caregiver I had from 18 months to four and a half years old. And my poor sister was an infant when all this started. Holy crap, no wonder I was so protective of her.

I mean, my mom's idea of funny stories included me sticking my hands in a popcorn maker at less than a year old and getting blisters all over my hands and that's how I learned the word hot. And just after that healed I reached up and grabbed my dad's razor from the sink and walked up to her with blood gushing from my little hand and said it was hot and she told me it was sharp. She laughed at these things. She laughed that I had a permanent bump on the right side of my forehead because I'd climb over the crib railing, fall onto the hardwood floor, and turn my head to the right so I couldn't see the floor coming. That was FUNNY to her.

No wonder she was also the type to date a man who molested her daughters, encouraged her to molest me, and beat our little brother. No wonder she was the type of person to play innocent when he was caught and arrested. The type of person who punched him when he got out and then married him as if a light tap on the cheek with her fist absolved all their wrongdoing.

A lot more abuse came after. A lot. But I'd been told over and over and over again that I should be glad, thankful, grateful, that at least I'd never been physically abused, so many times that I forgot. I had the memories right there, but that wasn't abuse. That was normal. They insisted that I wasn't abused when I was little until I finally remembered that actually, I was, and I'm old enough that they can't tell me it wasn't abuse anymore.

Nobody wants to read this. Not even me. If you did, God, I am so sorry. If it helps, I'm 49 now. It's long, long in the past, and the monsters can't hurt me now. I haven't talked to my mother in over a decade. I'm finally free and working through it all.

Best of all, I'm still alive. I made it. Through all the pain, depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation, I'm still here. That bitch didn't win. And she never will. I'm succeeding despite her, not for her or because of her as she always said I would. She didn't make me. I did.

[ihavetheblues96]

What is a strong woman?

It's now 1:13 pm my son is asleep and I'm feeling proud! I cleaned my house pretty well. Not that it's ever disgusting since I do the same tedious tasks every day BUT I did more than I normally do. Anyways I finished but my heart felt heavy and ached as if someone told me I'm bound to lose everything I love. I think it's weird how people say that the heart holds no actual emotion when here I am feeling pain. When I feel heartbreak it does so how sure are they when they say that? as to why I feel this way as I was cleaning I realize no one is ever going to see my struggles. No one will acknowledge the Janitorial staff as they clean the school, workplaces hospitals, etc so why would this be different? I don't need the thanks cause I know what I do. The problem is when I was cleaning I thought of my mom and aunts. I remember them cleaning after coming home from work, or even my stay-at-home aunts who sighed heavily as they cleaned. Always saying why don't we clean up after ourselves or why we just leave dishes here and my heart broke. Now that I'm an adult with kids of my own I understand their complaints. They were tired. I don't remember ever seeing my mom wash clothes and I realized we never had a washer or dryer. remember always having clean clothes and sometimes complaining when my clothes were damp cause she had fallen asleep. she was tired. I remember thinking why was my tia so tired and sad while doing laundry when she never worked? she had more than 5 kids of her own plus us that she would feed and take care of. she was tired. my other tia coming home her face always stoic and sad as looked around. Day and night she was waking up to go to work one way or another. She was tired. I feel disgusting and ungrateful. I hate myself again. My mom who was berated and hurt constantly in some form or another by my 'father' cleaned worked. We were somehow always comfortable and never hungry. I'm sure she wasn't and I'm sure she was hungry. We used to take my father's pants when he passed out drunk and slowly crept into the room to get his wallet and change so we could buy food and things. my mom's worried expressions hoping he didn't wake up. my mom's face when she prayed and cried at church begging god to hear her prayers to help my dad to help him stop drinking, cheating, and hurting her and us. praying for help and support for relief from her burdens. God was her savior the only one who listened and cared. she never gave up. Even when we had no place to go after an argument and we stayed in church. I watched her pray and cry like she was asking for rain but she only made her rainfall. She is my father, mother, a goddess. she's the reason I have good in me for my children. I remember a car ride on the way back home from church. I was scared I didn't want to go home I didn't want to see my father yell and throw things. I didn't want to hear him calling her names and accusing her of ridiculous things. I looked at her as she drove our tiny hot car that was always thirsty for gas with windows that would never go down more than a crack, and asked her "why don't you leave him why do you keep going back?" she was quiet for a moment I saw tears swell in her tired eyes as she smiled for me "I love him god will change him. you kids need your father." I remember thinking 'you are my father I have you and you say god is father to us all so why? if this is love I refuse to have it.' Now I realize what she meant. she loved my father deeply she gave everything she had to him hoping he would look at and appreciate her one day. when she said we needed him she meant we needed him financially because she didn't get paid enough to support her 4 children on her own. even if she had to sneak money and lay with garbage she did what she did for us. My mother and my aunts My grandma who still wears her wedding ring to this day after my grandpa left and started a new family they are what strong women are. their bruised bodies and rough hands that only soften because of age are proof.

Blues

[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers as Roommates

Intro:

So, the MC has left the Devildom and, of course, everybody is quite sad… But this time around, they have a little trick up their sleeve. With just a bit of magic (and training thanks to Solomon) the MC can now summon one of their favorite demon boys up to the human world with them! There's just, uh, one problem though… After being summoned to their side, their beloved demon now refuses to leave it.

Alright MC, enjoy your new demonic roommate!!

Lucifer

Apparently Lucifer is on sabbatical… And yes, he does appreciate that irony in that.

Lucifer actually has a surprising amount of human world money stashed away in alias accounts (because this man renting a cheap motel on business trips? Let's be real) so he uses that wealth to get them a place befitting his standards… which are high.

Spacious apartments in nice areas that would make even the upper middle-class shit their pants? Congrats, MC, that's where you're staying now!

Even with all that money, though, Lucifer CANNOT sit idle for a second. The guy is used to working all his life and just sitting around would drive him insane!

Expect him to still be running some Devildom affairs long-distance style while doing something else on the side, probably stock market stuff tbh.

Is going to want to pay for and provide everything himself but will respect the MC if they still want to work and split the bills (not to a ridiculous degree, though, like half-and-half because that would mean getting three jobs at least).

A lot of trips and vacations too, especially if the MC likes to travel. It’s a good excuse to relax while also technically doing something so he doesn’t lose his mind doing nothing in particular.

He is going to be that strict roommate who expects you not to be a slob and isn't afraid to say so. Regularly scheduled cleaning/organization days are mandatory because hygiene is important. Take some pride in yourself and wash up, MC. That kind of thing.

Also going to have short-fuse for… antics. If you want to prank him, do so at your own risk because he may prank back (and that’s not nearly as fun as it sounds, trust me.)

Mammon

Yeah so, living with Mammon is like the inverse of Lucifer. Prepare to be poooor.

Man has no human money, are you kidding me? Even if he did, he wouldn’t keep it for very long. Couples budgeting is a MUST if you’re looking to survive.

The apartment is going to be whatever the MC can more or less afford on their own with Mammon shoved in somewhere like a cheap lamp… Don’t expect a lot of room.

However, Mammon is great at the hustle. Man can work multiple jobs and actually be pretty dang good at them. For the most part, anyway. He may occasionally trip up and get himself fired, but he bounces back quick.

If the MC isn’t so moral he can also uh… “find” some extra money lying around too. Just be careful when playing with fire, right?

Even if they’re poor as shit, Mammon is still a blast to be around. The guy knows how to have fun on and off of a budget. Lots of “window shopping” (getting kicked out of stores for goofing off), nightclubs, amusement parks, and cheap fun. They’ll never be without a story to tell or a smile on their face!

He IS pretty slobbish though. He’s not going to remember to clean up after himself unless told, but he’s also not going to be bothered if they don’t do the same thing. A weekly cleaning day is going to be ideal unless they don’t mind living in a pigsty...

Prank waaaaars!! The kind of guy to get them both water guns and have a war in the middle of the apartment complex. Good luck getting any rest with Mammon around.

Leviathan 

Whelp, your room is now his room, quite literally MC. You had to pick the shut-in…

The guy isn’t exactly poor but what human money he does have is all wrapped up in his many interests… Merch interests specifically. 

Thankfully, he won’t take up too much space. Put him in a room with a desk, bed (or bathtub), TV, and computer and he’s good to go! 

He’s not going to be a complete bum, thankfully. There’s no way that they can get him to leave the apartment, but he can run small online stores (usually anime themed) or become a streamer. Probably enough to help pay the bills, but not much more.

If they don’t mind having a literally permanent housemate, then being with Levi has its own kind fun. Lots of anime marathons, movie nights, and game nights. Really, it’s just like how he was in the House, but now transported to the human world.

Is probably going to want a pet goldfish, snake ,or lizard so prepare to house Henry 3.0.

When he does leave the apartment, it’s to take the MC to conventions, concerts, or anime stores. He always manages to get just enough money for these trips, but never says where the money comes from… Best not to ask. Could be black market for they know...

… He’s a shut-in. He’s a shut-in roommate. Hygiene isn’t exactly his main concern. If they ask him to, he’ll make sure to clean up after himself, but he may need a reminder.

Can have a fun side, but just don’t mess with his stuff too much. He doesn’t need a Mammon 2.0 around too...

Satan

He's either hatching a plan for world domination or adopting 10 cats… One or the other.

About as poor as Mammon at first, but threat not. He won’t be for very long. Satan is intelligent beyond his years (or equivalent his years maybe?) so he’ll probably net himself several degrees within a couple semesters like a certified prodigy.

At that point, there really isn’t much to worry about (aside from student loans, join our pain Satan) but he can sell himself just fine and probably get some high paying job like a lawyer or doctor or whatever… I’m not jealous…

They’ll start out in a pretty modest place, but there will be upgrades fairly quickly when he starts racking it in so Satan’s a fairly decent choice as a roommate.

He does still have that nasty habit of breaking things when he’s pissed off, but that can be subverted by getting a pet! Just hold up whatever cat you own when he’s about to rampage then declare that he’s scaring/upsetting them and he’ll stop in his tracks. Works every time!

Probably going to be the most domestic out of the brothers. He enjoys cooking (and ain’t half bad at it either), shopping is a practical necessity, he’ll take care your pets like they were his own flesh and blood, etc.

There will even to be points where he’s in bed reading in the middle of the night with tea and reading glasses like some kind of grandma so take that image for what you will.

Satan is the prankster of the household, but he does his pranks more as a way to give grief to his enemies rather than for funsies. Be warned, if you poke this bear he will retaliate for sweet, sweet revenge and he has centuries worth of pranks behind him. Good luck.

Asmodeus 

It's a new party every night, sweetie, get used to it!

Asmo is the only other brother who has some amount of money to offer from his own trips to the human world, but it's just a modest amount.

Is totally willing to work to help pay for a nice place. He wants a building nice enough to host parties!

Would go back to modeling and maybe dip his toe into acting from time to time… He gets a lot of gigs (this IS the Avatar of Lust after all) so they won't be strapped for cash. Which is good, because Asmo is a very "business by day, but party every night" kind of person. 

Do know that his shopping is NOT going to slow down either. Keep an eye on the budget.

He’s also going to make friends wherever he goes so he’s going to want for them all to hang out at least somewhat regularly.

That being said, he can tone it down some if the MC so desires, just know that they can’t keep him cooped up in the apartment for too long or he’ll start getting antsy. You can’t keep this stallion locked up, MC, he needs to run free!!

Being with Asmo is going to be like having a free pass to whatever gathering the MC wants to go to, at least. He could even get them into red carpet events with just his sheer charisma, charm, and er-… “charms.” Who doesn’t want to meet their favorite actress or singer, eh?

But oh, sweetie, please don’t prank him! Life is too short to waste on silly games (he also just genuinely just doesn’t enjoy being messed with so best not do it).

Beelzebub 

Brave choice, MC, but quick question. How in the world are you going to pay your food bills???

Beel is a real sweetheart through and through but his stomach is NOT. That thing will eat them out of house and home! (Maybe even literally!!) Both of them are going to have to work and probably some pretty looong hours (cause he’s got no money either).

Honestly, Beel would be best as a personal trainer in the human world. He’s a pretty decent combination of tough but genuinely kind and motivating. (The fact that he’s pretty easy on the eyes would help out a lot too).

But the MC won’t have to worry about Beel sneaking off with someone just looking for some “quality time.” He’d take his job seriously, though he’s not particularly versed in what the human body can’t handle so only the really dedicated (or masochistic) would stick with him anyway.

“Good work last week, April! You did so well that we’re going to go from 500 pushups to a thousand! … I can see you’re worried, but I believe in you.”

But hey, he can deadlift well over 2,000 pounds without breaking a sweat so who has the balls to argue with him, anyway?

Trying out every restaurant in town would be a must. He’d even plan out vacations for them with the sole purpose of travelling the globe and tasting the different flavors. Food trips!!

He's neat enough since he used to tidy up a lot for Belphie so no need to worry about him picking up after himself (except for the occasional pile of wrappers. Toss those out unless you want ants)

I mean, you can prank Beel if you want. He'll be pretty good-natured about it as long as it stays harmless. Just don't ruin any of his food, got it?

Belphegor 

So… Belphie makes for some excellent décor! Really he is great at laying around and looking fantastic just… he’s not that great at much else...

Realistically, choosing Belphie as a roommate is kind like having a high maintenance pet. He’s good for love and cuddles, but he’s not going to be helping with the bills or anything unless they whine incessantly about it.

If the MC can make enough for the both of them, then it should be fine. They won’t get upset and he won’t be crabby but if not… Oh boy.

Regular job Belphie is a needy Belphie. He’ll come back from whatever job he’s working, likely a night shift, and demand attention or cuddles right then and there. He needs to recharge those batteries, after all...

If he isn’t working then he's at his happiest. He can even pull off being a “househusband” of sorts. He’s not going to go above and beyond the call of duty, but he can keep the place clean, get a basic meal on the table (provided someone teaches him some human recipes), and get groceries if he needs to… You know, basic domestic shit.

They’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that, at some level, Belphie just doesn’t believe in “common curtesy” or “human decency.” If some neighbors are being too noisy for his liking, he will troll them to oblivion and beyond. He may even get sued for it if he takes it too far, so the MC will have to keep an eye on him…

He’s the House’s #2 prankster, but unlike Satan he doesn’t need any malice to be a little shit. The MC will be pranked and it will be at the most unexpected times. Be warned...

Check out my Masterlist for more!

[tom-holland-parker]

painted picture

Summary: Tom has an emergency meeting and asks you to babysit. You say yes, determined to get his daughter to be comfortable around you

Pairing: Dad!Tom x reader

Word count: 1516

Notes: not edited...kinda hate this but I needed to write something so I can get out of my writers block

Masterlist

“Hey I need a favor” You barely opened the door as Tom rushed into the apartment, “Can you please watch Issy while I go to this meeting?” He asked, clearly in a rush. You didn’t even notice the small child attached to his hand. You bit your lip nervously, Issy was still shy around you and Tom had never let you be alone with her. 

“Are you sure you want me to do it?” You asked. He nodded his head, “I know you’ll do a great job, think of it as a day to bond with her” He smiled as he grabbed your hand, “Please it’s just a few hours” 

You glanced at the shy 5 year old who was looking around your apartment. Tom had always been protective of his daughter and you knew that it was taking a lot of trust for him to leave you alone with her. You took a deep breath, “Sure I’ll watch her, it would be nice for her to not run away from me every time I’m at your house” 

Tom sighed in relief, “thank you so much I’ll get back as soon as possible”. He crouched down to be face to face with Issy, “y/n is going to watch you while daddy goes to a meeting so be nice and have fun, I’ll see you when I get back” He kissed her cheek before getting up and turning to you, “she’s allergic to peanuts, her asthma medicine is in her bag, and her nap time is- ” 

“ at 2:15” you interrupted him, “Tom I got this I’ll call you if anything goes wrong, you’re going to be late for your meeting”. He sighed and kissed your cheek, “I’ll be back as soon as possible thanks you” 

You shut the door as he rushed out of your apartment, “So Issy what do you want to do?” She stared at you blankly not saying a word. You bit your lip, “Do you want to watch some T.V?” She ignored you, walking around your living room staring at your paintings on the wall. She pointed to one of the artworks, “that’s pretty” she mumbled

You smiled, “I made that”. Her head quickly turned to you before looking back at the wall. You sighed in disappointment, you really liked Tom and it made you sad that his daughter didn’t like you, but you were determined to bond with her one way or another. “Have you ever painted before?” 

She shook her head as she sat on the couch. Her answer shocked you, your earliest memory was painting pictures for your parents to hang around the house. You smiled as an idea came to you, “Do you want to paint a picture so Daddy can hang on your wall?” 

Issy smiled and nodded as she got up from the couch. “Okay but we need to go to the art store first for supplies” you said as you grabbed her coat, helping her put it on. The walk to the store wasn’t long and the second you entered Issy looked around in awe. She held your hand tightly as you guided her through the small shop, “what colors do you want?” You asked once you reached the paint aisle. 

Issy started at the large shelves, “I like pink” she said as she grabbed the pink colored paint and threw it in the basket. “I like pink too” You chuckled. She smiled in amusement, “I also like green and blue” she continued until almost every color of the rainbow we’re placed in the small basket. 

“Okay next we need to get you brushed and canvases” You said as she grabbed your hand. You could help but wonder if she was grabbing your hand because she didn’t want to get lost or because she trusts you. You quickly grabbed a pack of brushes and a 10 pack of canvases.

When you returned to your apartment you sat the 5 year old on the couch, letting her watch cartoons as covered the floor with trash bags and set up the paint area. “Can I paint that one?” she pointed to the art on the wall, it was a sunflower in the sky, a painting you made when you were a teen. You chuckled, “You can paint whatever you want”

It took a few minutes of her watching you before she became confident enough to grab the brush. You watched in amusement as she smeared the paint all over the canvas smiling with each stroke of the brush. You grabbed your phone quickly, sending a picture to Tom before returning back to your artwork. 

After an hour of painting you both were finally finished, “Can I see?” Issy asked as you put your brush down. You turned the picture to show her the frog you made. She giggled and showed you hers. “That’s so cool” You praised as you set them on the counter to dry. 

“Daddy’s gonna be mad that we got paint on our clothes” She said looking down at her stained pants and shirt. You chuckled “I have one of his shirts you can wear as a dress” She quickly stood up, rushing to grab your hand as you guided her to your bedroom. You sat her on the bed as you looked through your dresser, pulling out one of Tom’s t-shirts and handing it to her. You grabbed a change of clothes for yourself, “I’ll get dressed in the bathroom just yell if you need me” 

She nodded as you left the room. You quickly changed your clothes before going to the living room to clean up. “Can we watch cartoons?” You turned around to see Issy standing tiredly in Tom’s shirt. She was way too small for it but it made her look adorable. You glanced at the clock noticing that it was around her nap time, “sure” You smiled as you turned on the T.V.

You both sat on the couch quietly watching Curious George. You glanced at the small children when you heard a yawn leave her mouth, as she laid down her head landing on your lap. You smiled to yourself, happy that she was somewhat comfortable with you. 

////

Tom was worried. You hadn’t answered any of his calls and weren’t texting him back. He knew you would never do anything to hurt Issy but he was afraid something bad had happened to the both of you. He quickly made an excuse to leave the meeting early and rushed to his car. Thankful that your apartment was only a few blocks away. 

He tried calling you again, his anxiety only increasing when you didn’t pick up. “Come on y/n” he whispered to himself as he parked his car. He looked around his car trying to find the spare key you gave him. 

As he reached your apartment he listened carefully from the other side of the door, only hearing the faint sounds of curious george. He quickly unlocked the door, sighing in relief when he saw the both of you on the couch asleep. 

He couldn’t help but smile at how adorable you both looked cuddled on the small couch. He quickly took a picture before kneeling down, “Wake up sleepy head” he whispered as he kissed your forehead. Your eyes shot open quickly, “what’s wrong? Where’s the kid?”

“Babe you’re literally holding her calm down” Tom chuckled, “You didn’t answer my calls so I left the meeting early to come a check on you”

You let out a deep breath as you rubbed your eyes, “We must’ve fallen asleep watching cartoons”

“Yeah well I gotta take her home my mom wants her to spend the night” Tom smiled as he moved to wake up the sleeping child. “Issy it’s daddy wake up we gotta get you to grandma’s”

She groaned and rubbed her eyes, “But I want to stay” she said in a sleepy whisper. Your heart swelled at how adorable she was. Tom chuckled in surprise, “You can come back another time grandma made brownies” 

She let out a sigh as she slowly climbed off the couch to get her coat, “why is she wearing my shirt” Tom asked in confusion. “We painted today” She said happily as you moved to get the dried pictures. You handed it to the excited child who quickly showed it to her father, “It’s a flower” she said

Tom chuckled, “it’s amazing sweetie, we’ll hang it in your room when we get home”. He stood up quickly pulling you into him by the hips, “thank you for watching her” 

“No problem", You smiled and gave him a quick kiss, “I actually had a great time” You pulled away from him as you felt a small tug on your shirt. You looked down watching as Issy hugged your leg, “Can we paint again?” 

You chuckled, “Next time we see each other we’ll hang out and get ice cream okay”. She smiled and hugged you again before grabbing her fathers hand. You waved goodbye as they left the apartment. 

[angelmavmurdock]

Our Little Secret: Part Six - A.R.

Word count: 5976 Summary: After Lenora’s funeral, Arvin learns some news about her. Y/n and Arvin have sex for the first time and ends up being way past her curfew...

-

WARNINGS: SMUT, FINGERING, DIRTY TALK (mild), READER'S FIRST TIME

-

I attended Lenora's funeral as her best friend.

No one knew about Arvin and I and we were keeping it for a different reason now. Not in case Lenora found out but to keep everyone else sane in this crazy time.

I had taken a week off school, helping the Russell's around the house with cooking, cleaning and some company. Emma was absolutely distraught, only coming out of bed when she needed the bathroom or needed to eat - even then it wasn't promised.

Ma was so busy with helping Daddy while I was busy helping the Russell's, we hardly got to see each other. But we both knew after the funeral things would calm down.

Arvin was handling his sister's death strangely. He wasn't sad. He didn't cry. He would go out on car rides, asking to be alone a lot of the time. I didn't know what he was doing and to be honest, I didn't want to know.

At night, once Earskell had went to bed and well after Emma had went to bed, we'd stay up, sitting outside on the patio in the old rocking chairs with some tea and listen to the radio quietly humming in the background. We wouldn't really speak much. We'd just be in each other's presence. We'd kiss. Then I'd go home.

But today was her funeral. I had a standard funeral outfit on: a black dress with tights and patent shoes with a black ribbon in my hair. I had been crying all day so my tears stained my cheeks and my eyes were red and puffy.

Emma was much the same as me while Arvin was trying to be strong for us, only a few tears leaving his eyes during the ceremony. He held me close to him, his hand just above the curve of my waist to not draw attention to us. We stood by together as Emma cried over her casket.

"Oh Lord, there's just some things we can't understand..."

She cried, kneeling to the floor and caressing the wood with her soft hands.

"But you take her into your arms..." She had to stop speaking because of her sobs.

I watched, tears falling from my face and I looked up at Arvin, rubbing my hand over his back softly. He stared numbly at the casket, only the ever-so-often squeeze of my waist indicating he was okay.

"Now I ain't somebody for sayin' prayers or..." Earskell talked, coughing and then clenching his jaw.

Arvin looked over to his Uncle and then removed his arm from around me, leaving me feeling cold without him. He slightly bent over and helped Emma to her feet, holding her by her arm and then wrapping his other arm back around me, this time on my waist.

"Let's go home." I said in almost a whisper.

Emma and everyone else nodded. I pulled away from Arvin and when he looked at me I looked back as if to say it was okay. He nodded slightly and helped his Grandma to the truck. I followed loosely behind the three of them, giving them some space to be with each other in the fresh air.

As I walked behind them through the grave yard I thought about everything.

What did she have to tell me? What happened with the preacher? Why was she so ashamed? Why did she want to end her own life?...

There were too many questions and none of them I could answer. I was supposed to be her best friend and I felt like I had let her down. I had let her down.

***

"I think it'll be real good if you went out for a night, Emma." I sighed, sitting next to her on her bed.

It had been a few days since the funeral and she was still lying in bed, only getting up for the bare minimum. Even for food she wasn't getting up for, which I was cooking each night.

"I don't have the energy, y/n." She croaked.

"I think you need a bath. And a nice new dress. And your hair did and your friends around you. There's a church day out at the beach on Saturday. I think you should go." I said with a smile.

She laughed lightly, "Honey, I hardly have five dollars to put together, how am I supposed to buy a new dress and get my hair done?"

A grin grew on my face, "Luckily I am here to help with that."

***

Saturday rolled around and I showed up early morning with two new dresses for Emma. She had gotten her hair done the day before and she was feeling a lot better. She showered and I met her in her room when she came out. I lay the two dresses on the bed and she looked in confusion.

"Pick your favourite and I'll see you in the living room." I smiled simply then left her room, closing the door behind me.

I waited in the living room with Arvin who was reading the newspaper, a cigarette bouncing between his lips and an ash tray.

"Ma asked for me to be home at 9 tonight." I said with a sigh.

Arvin looked up from the paper, "Really? That early?"

"Yeah. She does not like you." I groaned.

"Damn...I'm guessin' there's not much I can do about that, huh?"

"Not really...don't you have work today?" I asked.

"Only a small shift. Just gettin' back into it after the accident and then obviously..." He gulped.

"I know...well that'll be good." I smiled.

"Yeah."

"I'm ready!" Emma called from her bedroom.

"Come on out!" I beamed, getting up from the couch.

She clicked down the hallway in her red kitten heels. I gasped with delight. She chose the poppy patterned dress that flowed lightly below her knees. It fit her perfectly. A silver cross hung over her clavicle and her hair was pinned up nicely.

"Emma Russell, you look absolutely divine!" I grinned.

She blushed, "Really? I do love this dress, I can't thank you enough y/n."

"It's no problem at all. I'm just glad you're feelin' better and havin' fun. You deserve it."

She took a deep breath and smiled, "Thanks, darlin'."

Arvin got up to drive her to the church and he complimented her with an embrace.

"I'll be back around 11pm. It's late but the girls are all hitchin' rides with the men after their poker."

"Well I'll be gone by 9 so I'll see you tomorrow? I hope you have fun, Emma." I hummed, hugging her tightly.

"Thank you so much. Have fun!" She waved as Arvin opened the door for her.

We both watched as she and Earskell talked, going to the truck. Arvin closed the door slightly, leaning forward to me.

I giggled and cupped his face, bringing his lips to mine. It was soft but meaningful. His hands lightly touched my waist before we both pulled away.

"Have a good day at work and drive safe, alright?" I said.

"Thanks, y/n. I'll see you later. Bye." He flashed me a smile before leaving the house.

And I was left for nearly a whole day by myself.

***

Arvin's POV

The working truck pulled up to the car park outside. I jumped off the end along with everyone else and we said our goodbyes. As I headed to the truck I saw an officer standing by, looking at me.

"Need to have a word with you, Arvin." He announced.

"About what?" I asked, standing a few yards from him.

"It's uh...it's about Lenora." He spoke awkwardly.

I took a deep breath and looked away for a second, "What about her?"

"I came by here instead of home so nothin's put on your grandmother-"

"Put on her? What do you mean?" I asked.

The officer removed his uniform hat which is never a good sign. He seemed awkward. He seemed nervous.

"Y'know old Dudley in the coroners? He's a drunk but...he ain't no liar."

I looked at him with a stern look, masking the fact that my stomach was flipping inside.

"Did you know Lenora was carryin' a baby?" He asked.

I tilted my head slightly, my eyes on his. This seemed real. But it couldn't be.

I continued staring at him, hoping he'd crack.

"That's bullshit. That son of a bitch is lyin'." I clenched my jaw.

"Dudley ain't a liar. He came to me privately so as your family knew...I felt he was right." The officer nodded.

I averted eye contact, feeling myself tear up. No, no, no, no, no.

"I might've put my foot in somethin' but that wasn't my intention."

He fiddled with his dark green fedora, uncomfortable with the conversation and uncomfortable with the fact he had to tell me.

"You know that preacher ain't said no words for her? Not for people that kill themselves." I shook my head and clenched my jaw.

That son of a bitch.

***

I drove home in anger and confusion. When I pulled up, I saw y/n outside on one of the rocking chairs, a mug in her hand and a blanket wrapped around her.

My mood lifted almost automatically. She looked gorgeous in the dim sunlight. I remembered the house was empty and I was happy in that y/n and I could spend time together alone but then again, Lenora wasn't there.

I walked tiredly up the steps and she sat her mug down with a pout of her plump lips.

"Hey, you okay?" She asked me, standing up.

I didn't say anything.

"Arvin?" She prompted.

I looked up at her.

"How was work?" She asked, trying to pry something from me.

"It was fine." I shrugged, walking back to lean against the post.

She bit her lip, "Is somethin' botherin' you?"

She knew me too well.

"A uh...a police officer stopped me before goin' home." I said, retrieving a cigarette from my pocket and lighting it.

"What? Why?" She asked, arms folding as she leaned against the opposite post.

I chuckled. It wasn't to be annoying. It was in anger and confusion and disbelief.

"He told me that Lenora - my innocent, God-loving, 17-year-old sister - was pregnant before she died." I stated.

She blinked at me like a deer in headlights. She didn't speak for a few seconds, her brain working to log the information properly.

"She uh...she was p-pregnant? No." She shook her head.

"Well she was." I took a puff.

"What the hell? How did I not know?" She pressed a hand to her chest.

"Don't get mad at me I'm just repeatin' what he said!"

"I'm not mad! I'm just...she was pregnant?"

I licked my lips and nodded.

She chewed her lip in thought, wrinkles forming between her eyebrows.

"I don't believe it. That's bullshit."

"That's what I said. But, apparently some guy down at the coroner's said that she was. And apparently, he don't lie." I said.

She shook her head, "Who...who was the father? Cause he'll be out there right now runnin' free!" She exclaimed.

"I don't know. I have an idea but I don't know." I licked my back teeth.

I couldn't tell her about the preacher. She clearly didn't know and I wasn't about to tell her. Because if I told her I would have to explain how I knew and stalking some guy doesn't seem like the best thing to say.

"Well that is just...wow." She rubbed her face.

"I know."

We both went silent, our heads filled with thought and worry and confusion. How could neither of us had known?

"Are you gonna tell your Grandma?" She asked.

"No. No, I'm not." I dropped the cigarette butt and stood on it.

"I think it would set her back." She agreed.

"Exactly. She don't need that right now, she's at a good place."

y/n nodded, agreeing with me. I sighed and took my hat off, running a hand through my hair. y/n walked towards me with her arms outstretched. I smiled and welcomed her. Her arms wrapped around me tightly, her chest pressed against mine. I leaned my head on top of hers and stroked her back softly.

"We didn't get to tell Lenora." She whispered.

I gulped, "I know..."

"Well if heaven is real then she'll be lookin' down at us thinkin': I told you so."

We both chuckled at the thought. But it was slightly uncomfortable to think of her that way. Dead. In heaven. I didn't like it.

"Hey," She chirped from underneath me.

I moved my head and looked at her. She reached her hands up and wrapped them around my neck.

"You were such a good big brother." She stated.

An immediate lump in my throat formed at her words. Not if you knew the things I had done or what I was planning to do...

"And you're an amazin' person, Arv. You really are." She smiled.

I just smiled weakly at her.

"And I know you feel like you have to be strong all the time but with me...with me you don't have to." She whispered, trailing her hands down then up my chest.

Reader's POV

He stared down at me with a sudden look of lust and hunger. Before I knew it, I was being pushed back against the post, gasping as the wood hit my back. Arvin kissed me ferociously, his tongue pushing into my mouth without missing a beat. I moaned in surprised but sunk into him, getting the fast-paced rhythm he was implementing.

He moved his kisses to my neck and he began to kiss and suck on my sweet spot.

"Arvin," I moaned breathlessly, tugging his hair slightly.

His hands slid down my dress and grabbed my ass through the fabric as his mouth worked on my skin.

"Feels so good." I hummed.

His lips came back up to mine and our tongues worked with each other's, pushing and swirling in some sort of dance. It was passionate and hot and I felt like I needed more of him.

Suddenly his hands roamed further to my thighs and swiftly lifted me up. I gasped as my legs locked around his torso effortlessly. He smirked up at my surprise and kissed me again. He blindly opened the door and it slammed shut behind us. He walked through while kissing me intensely.

And then I knew I was in his room. I had only been in once or twice for laundry but I knew it was his. He pushed me against the door, ultimately closing it. I moaned again and he moved his lips to my neck again.

"Want you, Arvin." I hummed.

He looked up at me with a glint of lust and hope in his eyes.

"You sure?" He asked.

"I need you." I whispered.

That was enough for him.

He brought me off the wall and to his bed, lying me carefully on his sheets, getting on top of me.

He kept kissing me, his hands beginning to lift my dress up. I sat up and allowed him to slide it off my body. Thankfully I was wearing nicer underwear this time. He threw my dress to the side and looked down at my body in awe.

He stood up from the bed, eyes burning through my skin as he started to undo his buttons on his shirt.

I felt a colour rise to my cheeks. He was seeing me in my underwear. No guy had ever seen me in my underwear before.

"You are fuckin' unreal, darlin'." He complimented, his eyes shining with adoration.

I bit my lip, "You're makin' me nervous standin' like that."

He removed his shirt and then pulled off his dirty white t-shirt from underneath. I had seen his chest before but his bruises were nearly healed and he looked even better than before. Probably since he'd been working all day. He undid his belt and then slid down his trousers, stepping out of them.

My jaw dropped. Arvin. In. His. Underwear.

"Whatcha starin' at?" He smirked.

I gulped then looked back up at him, "Nothin' much."

He shook his head and leaped on top of me. I squealed before he kissed me.

"You're a minx, that's what you are." He chuckled against my lips.

"Well then teach me how to be good." I whispered.

He pulled away, looking down at me with his dilated brown eyes, almost completely black with passion.

"Fuck, I want to."

He began to slide his hand down my body, making rest stops at my waist and my hip before teasing the waistband of my pants. I gasped and looked up at him in lust.

"Have you ever been touched before?" He asked lowly.

He slid his hand carefully into my panties. I arched my back and moaned lightly at his touch.

"N-no." I answered honestly.

His eyebrows furrowed for a split-second.

"You've never been touched before? When you look this pretty?" He quirked an eyebrow.

His fingers slowly circled on my clit, warming me up. I grasped his arm and bit my lip at the new feeling.

"Have you ever touched yourself before?"

My throat went dry.

"No." I answered again.

He smiled, "That's okay...but you've gotta tell me if you don't like what I'm doin', alright?" He asked.

I nodded with a hum.

He pulled my panties off and I felt completely exposed. Only my brasserie covered the last part of my modesty. But I felt safe with Arvin. I trusted him.

His hand returned back to my core where he continued rubbing circles on my clit. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the new-found pleasure.

"Already so wet, darlin'."

I whimpered at his filthy words and felt his finger slide down my core. He slowly pushed a finger into my entrance. I gasped and gripped his arm that rested beside my head, propping himself up.

He started moving it in and out, beginning to pick up a pace.

"How does that feel?" He asked.

"So- good." I hummed, eyes closed in pleasure.

He began to speed his finger up, curling it up to find my spot. I moaned, bucking my hips into his palm as if to say more.

He got the message and slipped a second finger in with ease. I moaned loudly as his fingers worked inside of me. His thumb grazed constantly over my clit and whatever he was doing was making my stomach flutter.

I could hear the sounds of my arousal and it added to the pleasure.

"So good for me, y/n. So good." He praised.

"Arvin!" I whined.

"What, angel?" He asked softly.

"I need you. Please." I practically humped his hand in desperation.

He smirked, "You sure you're ready?" He asked cautiously.

I nodded, "Please."

He removed his hand from me, leaving me a whimpering, pathetic mess. He slid his underwear off and my jaw dropped once again. His member was a lot bigger than I had anticipated. But to be honest, I had never seen one so I had nothing to compare it to. But my god.

He pumped himself in his hand as he got back onto the bed, kneeling between my legs. I sat up and removed my bra myself. I then took my hair out of the band and the ribbon, sitting them aside. I lay back down, attempting to make my hair look as nice as it could splayed out on the bedsheet.

"You're so fuckin' gorgeous. Can't wait to feel you." He groaned, getting on top of me.

I bit my lip and held his arm with one hand and gripped his hair with the other.

"You ready?" He asked.

I took a deep breath and nodded. He leaned down and encased my lips in a passionate but loving kiss, our lips moving slowly over each other's and our tongues swirling around perfectly. I got so distracted by the kiss that Arvin could easily slip half-way into me. I gasped at the feeling of him.

"Is that okay?" He checked, brushing some of my hair out of my face.

I nodded and hummed. He gave me a moment to adjust to his size. It was slightly uncomfortable but that soon went away when he pulled back then thrusted slowly into me again.

"Arvin," I moaned.

He lifted my thigh up to his side and pushed further into me. I tugged his hair and bit my lip.

"So fuckin' tight, fuck. Feel so good, darlin'." He panted.

"Please go faster." I whimpered.

He dipped his head into the crook of my neck and held my thigh firmly as he began thrusting into me. His pace sped up quickly and soon enough he was moving effortlessly into me.

"Feels so good!" I moaned, arching my back into his chest.

His lips came to my breasts, taking one nipple into his mouth. I gasped at the new feeling as his tongue lapped over my skin. His thrusts sped up and he completely bottomed me out, his skin slapping against mine with every push.

"Oh god!" I tugged on his hair.

He groaned, "So gorgeous, so hot - fuck."

I rolled my eyes back at his words.

In a Christian based Southern state, having premarital sex was looked down upon. But it didn't feel wrong. It felt so good.

"So tight around me," He commented lowly.

"Can we flip?" I asked breathlessly.

"'Course."

He smoothly flipped us, so he was on his back. I bit my lip and hovered over him, taking his member in my hand.

"Fuck." We both cursed in unison.

I pumped him in my hand a few times to see what it was like and how he reacted. He gripped my thigh tighter and bit his lip. I smirked, feeling a pang of power course through me.

I swiped his member on my folds, surprised at how wet I actually was. I slowly sank down on him and we both let out long groans as I bottomed him out.

"W-woah." I panted.

He sat up, shifting inside of me. I moaned a little at the movement. His arms wrapped around me and I held his shoulders. I kissed him deeply, running my hands up into his hair and his tongue explored my mouth like it never had before.

I started to move on him, up and down was my instinct. Apparently I was right.

"Fuck, darlin'." He cursed against my lips.

"Oh god." I moaned, gripping his broad shoulders for support.

He gathered my cascading hair and put it behind my back as I moved on top of him. For some reason it made emotions flow in my brain.

Love.

They way he cared for me and was gentle with me obviously set off an emotion I had never really felt before. Not romantically, anyway.

I looked into his dark eyes and stopped bouncing on him. He looked into my eyes and held my waist.  He started to move my hips in a grinding motion. My mouth dropped open slightly at the feeling.

His eyes stayed on mine as I rolled my hips on his, his hands guiding me. It was intimate and passionate and I loved him. I held him as close to me as possible, our chests matching and my hands massaging his scalp.

"Arvin," I moaned.

I could feel a build up of tension in my stomach.

One of his hands slowly came down between us and started to rub my clit again. I threw my head back in pleasure, the feeling intensifying.

"Shit!"

"You close, darlin'?" He asked lowly.

"Close? To- to what?" I asked, fastening my movements.

"Fuck- to your high, baby."

His fingers kept working on my clit and his other hand still guided my hip.

"My high? Oh fuck! That feels so good!" I moaned loudly and highly.

His fingers worked faster.

"If you feel like you need to let go...then do it, baby." He groaned.

I didn't really know what he meant but the feeling in my core and stomach tightened.

"Oh god! Yes! Yes!" I moved my hips faster on him.

"God you feel so good, baby. So good around me." He praised.

I dug my nails into his back, my head going to his forehead.

"Arvin, I love you." I admitted breathlessly.

"You-you love me?" He repeated as if he was surprised.

"Yes! Yes, I love you." I bit my lip.

"y/n...pretty girl," He brushed some of my hair behind my ear.

"I love you, too." He grinned.

I stopped my movements for a second to smile and kiss him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him as close to me as possible.

He started to thrust up into me, the sound of skin slapping and my surprised moans filling the room.

"Oh! Yes! God, yes!" I squealed.

He worked a lot faster than I did. His member brushed a spot inside of me I didn't even know existed. I could feel myself clenching around him and he groaned at the feeling.

"Let go for me, baby. Come on." He grunted.

"I love you! Arvin, I- yes!"

I felt the knot in my stomach snap and the feeling in my core burn. I moaned and cursed and gripped Arvin's hair in ecstasy. He continued thrusting up into me, my wetness dripping down onto him and his thighs.

"Feels so good baby, good job." He praised.

He kept me in my high like I had entered nirvana. My mind went cloudy, my vision hazy, my hearing muffled. All I could sense was Arvin. And that's all I needed.

"Fuck, baby-"

He quickly flipped me back onto my back and pulled out of me. I was still somehow in my high but I opened my eyes to see what he was doing. He pumped his member a few times before grunting and finished on my upper thigh and lower stomach.

I watched in awe. His muscles tensed and untensed, his head was thrown back and the sounds leaving his mouth were heaven.

After he calmed down he crashed next to me and we both caught our breaths.

"Sorry about that, I should have asked you." He sighed.

"It's okay. I liked it." I giggled.

He shook his head and looked at me, "You are perfect, y/n."

I shook my head back, brushing my hand over his loose curls, "No, you are."

He smiled at my touch, "How was it?"

I laughed lightly, "Good. I didn't even know it was possible to feel like that."

He smirked, "I'm a master, what can I say?"

I rolled my eyes and smacked his chest. He laughed and then shuffled closer to me, lips decorating my shoulder.

"Did you mean what you said?" He asked quietly.

I nodded, "Every word."

His lips connected to mine in a soft, long kiss.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you, too."

-

He dropped the needle onto the record and waited for the music to play.

(Play now)

'Cry To Me' by Solomon Burke began to play through the speaker.

Arvin had poured us a glass of very fancy scotch each. He said it was only for special occasions. I had only put my panties and one of his button down shirts on. The warm, humid weather was enough to keep me warm. Arvin wore a white vest shirt and some long pyjama bottoms.

"I love this song." I hummed, sipping the warm alcohol from the crystal glass.

"Dance with me." Arvin stated rather than questioned.

I smiled and sat my glass down. He gave me his hand and twirled me under his arm before bringing me into his chest.

We held hands on one side while his other hand held my waist and my other held his shoulder. We swayed back and forth to the music, enjoying the post-sex bliss.

"Come on, and cry to me." I sang an octave higher.

Arvin smiled, "I love you."

I giggled, "I love you, too."

We stayed like that, dancing and singing to the parts we knew, hands all over each other, stealing a few kisses whenever we could. He'd spin me out and I'd attempt to spin him but he could never get the hang of it.

We were happy. And we were in love.

"I've never seen you like this before, you know? I like happy on you." I smiled up at him.

A one sided smile curved on his face, "No one's been able to bring it out of me before."

I bit the inside of my lip at his words. Part of me was happy and proud that I could make him feel like that but the other part felt horrible that he's felt that way for so long.

"Well get ready to be happy a whole bunch, 'cause I ain't goin' nowhere."

He laughed, twirling me under his arm and back into his chest.

"That's exactly what I want." He smirked, leaning down to kiss me.

Our lips pressed together.

But only briefly.

A truck pulled up outside. And both of us turned to look out the window.

"Wait WHAT?!" I shouted, noticing that it was Emma and Earskell in the car.

I looked at the clock on the wall.

11:57.

"SHIT!" I exclaimed.

It was nearly midnight. I was supposed to be home at nine.

I scrambled to Arvin's bedroom and hurriedly put on my dress and shoes. Arvin put the shirt I was wearing on and changed into his work trousers again. He grabbed his jacket and his keys, shoving his feet into his shoes as we ran to the front door.

"Oh! You two are still here?" Emma jumped at the sight of us rushing past her outside.

"Back soon!" Arvin shouted.

I jumped into the passenger seat and Arvin got in the drivers. He pulled out frantically and drove off.

"Oh my god. I'm dead. I'm dead." I panicked.

"Just calm down, you'll be fine." Arvin tried to soothe me, speeding through the village.

"You'll be dead, too! Oh god what are they gonna do, Arvin?" I gripped my hair.

"We're nearly there, it'll be fine." He grasped my thigh lightly.

I took deep breaths, looking out at the silent town as we zoomed past everything. The dread in my stomach grew as we drove up the road and then entered the grounds, past the gate.

"Go before they get you, alright?" I ordered, jumping out the car.

"Y/N Y/M/N YL/N! Where the HELL have you been?!" Ma shouted from the door, storming outside.

"Ma, I can explain! Let's just go inside!" I exclaimed.

"Boy, get out that car right now!" She shouted at Arvin.

"Ma! Stop! It's not his fault!" I shouted, beginning to get defensive.

Arvin got out of the car and held his hands in his trouser pockets, walking towards Ma and I. I saw Daddy standing by the door, watching everything and my heart ached.

"You are supposed to be takin' care of her! How dare you keep her away this long with no contact! How dare you!" She shouted at Arvin, pointing a finger at hi accusingly.

"Ma! He didn't do anything!" I shouted.

"I am not STUPID y/n! I know that you two have been gettin' together almost every night. I see the car bein' parked behind the gate, I see the way you two look at each other. And I do not have a problem with that! But if the so called MAN known for his sexual acts keeps my 18 year old daughter out until MIDNIGHT, I am not gonna be happy!"

"We lost track of time, ma'am." Arvin stated calmly.

"Oh did ya' now? Doin' what?"

"Ma!" I shouted.

"No! I wanna know what was so important that stopped you from comin' home on time!"

Arvin and I stuttered, not knowing what or how to say anything.

Ma scoffed and clenched her jaw. We could practically see steam coming from her ears.

"You. Inside. Now." She demanded, pointing at me.

I furrowed my brows, "No! I'm not goin' inside with you!"

"y/n, inside right now!"

"No! I'm not leavin' Arvin!" I held his arm in mine.

Her chest heaved with rage, "Arvin, stay the hell away from my daughter."

Ma went to grab my arm but I dodged it.

"No!" I screamed.

"y/n!"

"No! I wanna be with Arvin!"

"He is no good for you!" She shouted as if he wasn't there.

"You do not get to tell me what I can and can't do! I'm an adult and if I am in love with someone-"

"IN LOVE?" Ma shouted.

"Yes! In love! We love each other and you can't stop that!" I held his arm so tightly I was surprised I hadn't cut his circulation off yet.

"You are not to be with each other anymore. You are a bad influence on my daughter and I never want to see you near her again. Do you understand?" She spoke sternly to Arvin.

I looked up at him. He gulped, his eyes becoming teary, "I understand." He uttered.

"Arvin!" I scoffed.

"I'll leave you alone." He murmured, beginning to walk away.

"Arvin! What the hell are you doing?!" I shouted, my arm still attached to him as he - we - walked away.

He opened the car door and clenched his jaw, not looking at me.

"Go with your parents. I've done enough."

"Arvin, don't say that! You- you just said you loved me!" I felt tears begin to fall from my eyes.

His chin quivered, "Just go, y/n. Please."

"What? No. No! I'm not going!"

He ripped his arm away from me and went to get in the car.

"No!"

I slammed the door so he couldn't get in.

"No! You don't get to do that, Arvin! You don't get to say you love me then fuck off when somethin' comes between us!" I shouted, realising these were more sobs than anything.

"Just go inside, y/n." He said to the ground.

I furrowed my brows and shook my head in disbelief.

"y/n-" I interrupted my mother.

"No! Arvin, please! Why are you doing this?"

"We can't be together." Arvin sniffed.

"Yes we can! We can!" I went to cup his face but he moved away.

I didn't know if it was sadness or utter rage but I broke down in tears.

"You said you loved me!" I screamed, pushing him against the car.

He took it. He didn't look at me, though. But he took my babyish tantrum.

"You said you loved me!" I cried, hitting his chest.

"y/n, go inside. Please." He begged quietly.

I saw tears fall from his face.

I stopped and stood back, watching with blurred eyes as he got into the car and drove off quickly.

I choked on a sob and kneeled to the ground in a cry, letting all the emotions I had pent up go. Absolutely everything.

Ma came up to me to comfort me but I pushed her off and stood back up.

"No! You don't get to comfort me after ruining love for me." I cried, pushing past her and running to the house.

I ran up the steps and I paused briefly when I saw Daddy watching with tired and heartbroken eyes. He silently moved to the side to let me storm away. I sobbed uncontrollable sobs as I ran up the stairs and slammed my door shut, sliding down to the floor.

I thought he loved me.

-

{Tags: @notanordinaryprincess96 @imagine-yourself-happy​ }

[buckstaposition]

Don’t wanna miss a thing

Birthday song challenge for @din-damn-djarin (prompt 37)

Marcus Moreno x widowed f!reader, Missy Moreno & reader 

1999 words

summary & warnings: Just days before your wedding to Marcus, your emotions are going a bit haywire. Starts angsty but turns fluffy I promise! Themes of loss and grief, loss of a spouse/family member

Sobbing in the bathtub a couple of days before your wedding was not where you thought this evening was going, but here you were. Bawling your eyes out. You had just meant to take a quick shower to freshen up before bed, as your day had been mostly filled with last minute preparations and you were sweaty from hauling around decorations. Maybe not hiring a wedding planner had been a mistake, in more ways than one.

“Honey? You in there?” Marcus’ voice sounded after a hesitant knock on the bathroom door. You knew you should answer him, but you just didn’t have the strength to at this moment.

“Sweetheart?” He tried again, and you could hear the worry in his tone and it only made you feel worse.

“I’m coming in.” Marcus warned after another two minutes or so. It was endearing how considerate he was of your privacy even though you’d told him it was okay to come into the bathroom with you on numerous occasions. If you really didn’t want anyone to come in you’d lock the door and he was the man you were going to marry in less than 48 hours.

The door creaked open and Marcus padded across the bathmat, slowly pulling aside the shower curtain.

“Darling?” Hesitantly, he reached out his hand to you, gently nudging your shoulder. Still sobbing, you gripped it and held it to your face, kissing his palm between tears and hoping he’d understand. Even if you didn’t.

“Is this about Sean?” He asked softly, thumb caressing your cheekbone. You nodded. Marcus sighed; he hated seeing you upset. Just like Sean had. Marcus nudged your chin up and pressed a kiss to your forehead, not caring that the water got on his glasses.

“If you want to be alone for a bit longer that’s alright, but please let me get you out of the shower? You’re shivering.”

It was true enough. The water had gone cold a while ago and now, taking stock of your body you realized you were freezing. You nodded and let Marcus help you up and wrap you in the big fluffy towels he’d bought the two of you as a house-warming gift when you’d moved in together. You leaned on him as he dried you off, suddenly exhausted from your outburst of emotion. You let him help you dress yourself in your fluffiest pyjamas, the shivers slowly subsiding when he pulled your extra fluffy socks onto your feet.

“Okay?” He asked, kneeling on the ground between your feet while you were sitting on your shared bed. You nodded absently, catching his hand and bringing it up to your face. The tears had stopped but the deep sadness lingered.

“Please stay?” You whispered. He kissed your knee, then your free hand.

“I’ll just tell Missy good night, okay?”

A noise from the hallway drew your attention. Missy stood in the doorframe like summoned, and your heart broke at her anxious expression.

“Hey bunny.” You tried to smile, but it didn’t quiet reach your eyes. Missy looked between you and Marcus in concern, her lip starting to quiver.

“Bunny, what is it?” You patted the space next to you, inviting her to sit. After a look at her father, she rushed over, instantly wrapping her arms around you. You exchanged a worried glance with Marcus, and he rose to sit down at his daughter’s other side.

“What’s wrong, bunny? You know you can tell me.” You coaxed again, your own undefined sorrows forgotten in face of her obvious anguish.

“Diyouchangeyourmindaboutthewedding?” It rushed out of her in one breath and she clung to you harder. You hugged her back, squeezing her smaller frame tightly and caressing her hair.

“Oh sweetie, no! Why would you think that?”

“Cuz I heard you crying and-“ she hiccupped a sob into your shoulder, her voice small when she continued. “Please don’t leave us!”

“Oh bunny!” Your own eyes were starting to water again. “I won’t! I won’t ever leave you! You two are my whole world!”

You squeeze her tightly to you, feel Marcus’ arms enveloping you both and look up briefly to see how he’s doing with all this. The look on his face is heart-breaking, and you lean over quickly to press a reassuring kiss to his lips.

“Then why are you so upset?” Missy sniffled. You sighed and ordered your thoughts, mad at yourself for causing anguish to this girl you’ve grown to love so much.

“It’s sort of a silly thing really.” You began. “You know how I was married before?”

“Yeah.” You’d taken her to see his grave once, just like Marcus and Missy had taken you to meet the previous Mrs Moreno. It felt only right. “You still miss him?”

“Yes. Yes, I do. I always will, but that’s not what made me cry. It was… I feel guilty for being so happy, with you two. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah…no… I don’t know.” Missy scrunched up her nose in thought. She was a smart girl, very mature for her age, but in the end she was still only a twelve-year-old girl.

“You see, when you lose someone you love very much, that grief never really goes away. Like you still miss your mom, right?”

“Every day.” She sniffled a bit less now, and looked up at her father, who nodded silently. “But I’d miss you, too!”

“I know, bunny.” You kissed her forehead, wanting to soothe her. “You won’t ever have to choose between us. Your mom is your mom and that will never change.”

“I don’t want to have to choose.” Missy whispered, wiping her tears away. “But I still want her back.”

“I know, bunny, I know. I want my husband back all the time, too.” You exchanged another glance with Marcus, glad to see that he understood and let you take the lead in this discussion. It warmed your heart to know how unconditionally he trusted you with his daughter. “It’s so unfair, isn’t it? It makes me so angry sometimes that it happened to me.”

“It does?” Missy’s eyes went wide. She turned to her father to confirm and he nodded, mouthing a soft ‘yeah, me too’ to her.

“The point is, it’s okay to feel all these conflicting things. And sometimes they might overwhelm you, like they did me today, and that’s okay too because I have people who are there for me when that happens.”

“You know you can always talk to me, us, about anything. Or grandma. Or your friends.” Marcus hugged her close and wiped away her tears, like he had yours earlier. “And if that’s not enough we will do anything to help you, okay?”

“Okay.” Missy smiled a watery smile, snuggling into her dad while holding your hand close. The three of you huddled together for a few minutes, giving everyone the chance to settle. Missy, being a kid, bounced back fastest.

“Can we have a movie night?” She looked at you both with the big puppy eyes she had inherited from her father and perfected over the course of her young life. You didn’t even need to look at Marcus to know the answer.

“And what movie were you thinking?”

“Mulan!”

“Okay, you prep the TV, I’ll get on the popcorn.” Marcus prompted, motioning for her to go ahead downstairs. She was out of the room with the speed of lightning.

“You sure that kid doesn’t have any powers? Super speed maybe?”

“Positive. You okay, honey?” He cupped your cheek and looked deep into your eyes, gaze searching.

“Positive. This actually really helped.” You smiled and leaned in for a small kiss. “So, I think we’re not too bad at this parenting thing, huh?”

“Are you kidding? You’re amazing at it!” Marcus hugged you close, kissing your forehead and then your cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

---

The reception was in full swing and everyone was enjoying themselves. There had been no mishaps save for the kind that would make for funny stories later and the cake was almost gone. Almost being the operative word. You were in your seat, relieved to be sitting down for a while and re-braiding Missy’s hair where the decorative ribbons and flowers had come loose during the day. Marcus was weaving his way through the guests back to your table, grinning triumphantly.

“Swiped the last slice of cake while Colin wasn’t looking.” You looked behind him to see Miracle Guy frowning at the now empty cake stand.

“Oh darling, you shouldn’t have!” You protested insincerely. It was your wedding after all. You felt you were entitled to some cake.

“He’s already had two!” Marcus put the plate down in front of you and produced some clean cutlery from his pocket. “Besides, anything for my girls.”

“Awww, you’re the best husband and dad!” You pulled him in by his bowtie to press a kiss to his lips.

“Gross.” Missy commented, snatching up one of the small fancy forks and starting to dig in. The two of you paid her no mind, too engrossed in your new marital bliss. You took turns feeding each other cake in between kisses and whispering sweet things, but really Missy got most of it. You didn’t even notice the band switching to a new song. Or the announcement they had made just before that, apparently. At least not until Anita planted herself right in front of your table and brought her cane down hard on the ground.

“You two! Stop canoodling! It’s time for your dance!”

“Mom!” Marcus whined, mostly for show as he was already pulling his tux jacket back on in the same motion, then holding his hand out to you. “May I have this dance, Mrs Moreno?”

“Gladly, Mr Moreno.” You smiled and rose, letting him lead you to the middle of the dancefloor. The band had been stuck playing an intro to your chosen song for several long moments now and launched into it one last time as you took your positions. Aerosmith – I don’t wanna miss a thing. Your song. Marcus took your hand, smiling softly, and when the vocalists started so did you, twirling around the dancefloor. You felt like you were floating, a moment of near perfect happiness.

“I love you so much.” You mouthed to Marcus as he led you across the dancefloor, his hand warm at your waist. He smiled, spun you out and then reeled you back in, closer this time to press a kiss to your temple.

“I love you.” The song ended and you paused for a moment to receive the applause from your guests. The band faded into another song and people started filling the floor around you while you swayed in place for a moment.

“You know, there’s only one thing missing.”

Marcus’s brow furrowed. “What’s that?”

You nodded towards the table where Missy was still sitting, chin in her hands and looking out towards the dancefloor, a picture both wistful and yet a little forlorn. You waved to get her attention, then motioned for her to join you two once that was accomplished. She started, her brow furrowing in the exact same adorable way as her father, then stood hesitantly.

“Come on, bunny!” You called, letting go of Marcus just enough to make space for her. Her whole face lit up and she came running over, long hair swooshing after her. She all but crashed into the two of you, throwing one arm around your waist and the other around Marcus.

“Wanna dance?” You smiled at her, drawing her as close as the volume of your skirt allowed for a little side hug.

“Yes!” She exclaimed, already starting to sway to the music. Marcus surreptitiously wiped at his eyes before hugging the both of you close. It took you all a moment to adjust your footing, but you managed it soon enough. This was truly, absolutely perfect. You could stay lost in this moment forever.

- - - 

author’s note: I started this whole thing over like five times, with different concepts and characters, and somehow landed on this. It turned more into bonding with Missy than the pairing, but hey. Hope you’ll still enjoy it. 

and yes, I named Miracle Guy Colin. He just looks like a Colin to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[truglori]

Homebody (Ch.14)

Summary: Amiyah is the younger sister of local drug dealer (Durkio). Shy and reserved she keeps to herself and stays out the way. But lately she began to find interest in his right hand man/ best friend (Erik Stevens). Wanting to get him to notice her she discovers that he already had her wrapped around his finger without even trying! There was only a few problems that kept her away from her fantasies , her brother that controlled almost every single breath she took and would kill anyone who looked at her that way and lastly Eriks girlfriend, Alexis , who they called the queen of the hood according to her lavish lifestyle as well as being with the next newest top boy in the making. While Alexis was his girl to the streets all Amiyah wanted to do was be his Homebody...

Pairing: Erik Stevens x Thick OC

Warning: Language

Lighting her favorite scented candle, Amiyah inhaled the fragrance with her eyes closed. After a long day at the boutique she wanted to relax with a good smelling room, dim lights, and her music playlist on repeat. Taking her hair out of the ponytail she massaged her scalp feeling relieved. After having it in so many protective hairstyles she decided to give it a break and let it breathe by wearing her own natural hair until it was time for her to get it done for the trip.

Laying flat on her bed with her legs twisting one over the other she scrolled through her phone. She wasn’t going into anything particular just wandering around for a while checking text, missed phone calls, and old pictures of herself on Snapchat. Clicking on her Instagram app it opened up to a relationship post from one of the pages she followed.

It was a post of a quick video of a boy laying on top of a girl who was rubbing his head. Amiyah felt a twinge of sadness prickle her heart. She longed to have something like that only for it to be a part of her fantasies and not her reality. She’s seen plenty of post like that before but this time it felt different. Mainly because she had an opportunity to recreate a small video of her own with the man she had in her hands and let slip away.

Amiyah regretted the moment she had broken up with Erik that night. Speaking without thinking, which was a trait she always had, she ended it with him before they could even work things out. Her stomach dropped when she witnessed him walk out the door and never came back like he always did. It wasn’t until the party that she knew her feelings for him was still there.

Amiyah didn’t know if Erik felt the same until they had their moment in the hall. The kiss very much dripping with emotion as their drunk but true feelings came out of hiding. Amiyah could tell that he missed her as much as she missed him. The only thing that bothered her was that she didn’t know the situation with Harmony. Was it to make her jealous? To try and get back at her for breaking up him? She wanted to know it all. But if it was real between them then she had no other choice but to fall back. Being a home wrecker wasn’t something she want as her reputation.

The sound of the front door closed and footsteps walking in the hallway had caught her attention. Looking at the time on her phone it was closed to midnight and Durk was finally coming in. Getting up she slipped on her UGG slippers and walked into his bedroom. Amiyah seen him sitting on the edge taking off his shirt leaving him in his white tee before leaning over on his knees to remove his watch.

“Knock knock.” She spoke making herself known.

Durk glanced at her with tired eyes. Amiyah could understand why knowing that he left the apartment around four in the morning.

“What’s good Miyah? What you still doing up?” He asked yawning.

“I just got done cleaning my room. You look tired.” Giggling lightly she moved near him and sat on the bed.

Durk shook his head smiling. “A nigga be out here hustling. What can I say?” Taking off the rest of his jewelry he sat it on the nightstand next to him.

Looking at his sister Durk knew that there was something on her mind that she must have wanted to talk about. Amiyah wasn’t always a direct person. She would try to talk about random things before getting to the topic that she really wanted to discuss. But Durk was the opposite. He wanted to know what a person had to say to him right then and there.

“So wassup. What you come in here to talk about?” He asked bending over and folded his hands together.

“Wha do you mean?”

Durk gave her a knowing look.

Amiyah sighed, annoyed that her brother knew her so well when she had something to say. “I wanted to talk about what happened at the shop the other day. You know whatever you and Erik was talking about.”

Durk nodded his head. “What is there to talk over? Didn’t you just say that Erik and I were the ones talking?”

“Yeah but-“ He cut her off.

“So then why are you stressing about it? It’s grown man business Amiyah. Don’t got shit to do with you.” He sent her a stern look.

Amiyah scoffed. “Why do you always have to do that Durk? Every time I try to help you, my own brother, you always push me away like I’m still some kid. If you’re in trouble then you should tell me. I have every right to know.” She stood up in front of him.

“Okay so even if I was Miyah what could you do about it? Hmm? How could you help me like you think you can?” He mocked her body movement waiting for her to answer.

Amiyah shook her head. It amazed her how things between them could always get so heated and escalate quickly. It was probably because they were both alike with their stubbornness.

“I don’t know we can go to the police.” She stated shrugging her shoulder unsure.

His laugh boomed through room. “Girl you better sell that dry snitching shit to someone else because you know I ain’t never been the one. Watch out now.” Durk stood up and walked to his bathroom.

Amiyah followed. “Durk I just want to be there for you. I mean isn’t there anything I can figure out for you. To relieve some of the stress I know you’re dealing with.”

Durk sighed glancing at his reflection in the mirror.

“Amiyah the best thing you can do for me is to stop worrying about me. I’m fine. Me and Erik is going to handle the situation. Focus on your own life.”

Closing the house robe she wore, she covered her body. Amiyah knew that Durk already had it made up in his mind and that there was no way she could be a help.

“Can you just answer this question for me please?” Staring at him with glossy eyes she asked him. “Did you do anything that could back fire on you?”

“Why you ask that Miyah?”

“Because if you did Durk I don’t want to and can’t afford to lose you. Mommy and daddy are already gone and you’re the only person I have left.” The tears that she tried to hold back fell one by one.

Durk pulled her in his arms. He kissed her head repeatedly. “Miyah don’t think like that.”

“It’s true. If I lose you then I would have nobody.” She expressed through her tears.

Durk felt a lump in his throat. He shook off the feeling to cry. It was something he hasn’t done since their mom passed away.

“Amiyah look ain’t nothing gonna happen to me. I’m gonna be straight. But even if it did I know that wouldn’t be true. You’ll always have someone.” He didn’t know what he was saying or why he said it but something made him speak with confidence.

Amiyah smiled when he wiped her tears away. She hugged him with all of the strength she had in her body ,embracing him and not taking a simple moment as them conversing for granted.

“Damn you coming in here fucking my high up and shit.” He spoke making them laugh together.

“Sorry.” She giggled wiping her face.

“You good kid. Come on let me show you something.” Throwing his arm over her shoulder he walked back over to his bed. Sitting down in their previous spots Durk reached in his drawer.

“Here.” He handed over a brochure that displayed an apartment building.

Amiyah flipped through the pages. “What’s this? Are you thinking about moving us somewhere else?” She asked becoming curious.

Durk paused staring at her before speaking. “Nah not me. Just you. It’s your new place if you want it to be after we come back from the trip.”

Amiyah laughed smacking her lips and trying to hand him back the piece of paper.

“Shut up and take your stuff back.” She stated not believing him. Her laughter died down when she saw that he didn’t join.

“Wait, you’re serious Derrick?”

“When have I ever played with you about something like this? I was gonna keep it a secret until we made it to Turks and Caicos but since we had that little heart to heart a few seconds ago I had to lighten up the mood.” He spoke honestly.

Amiyah was shocked and confused. Never in a million years did she think Durk would be the one to initiate her leaving and getting her own. She just didn’t understand why he was doing it and why now alll of a sudden.

“Durk why are you doing this now?”

She watched him hesitate. “Well because you’re getting older Amiyah. Old enough where I know you are gonna want your own personal space and not have your older brother all in ya shit.”

She shook her head agreeing with a smirk.

“Besides I get tired of coming into the house catching you in ya nasty ass grandma panties walking around thinking you the only muthafucka that lives here.” He joked.

Amiyah pushed him before laughing and leaning her face into his shoulder. “Shut up. Don’t do me.”

Durk laughed. “Nah but it’s time you get your own because a nigga like me get tired of fucking bitches at they roach infested crib. Them muthafuckas be there like they paying rent and shit.”

His genuine venting had Amiyah cracking up. She was laughing so hard her stomach started to cramp.

“Durk I can’t stand you.”

“I’m not playing girl I’m serious. But I’m bout to knock out. I been up all morning and I’m tired as hell. We’ll finish talking about this later.”

Amiyah nodded her head standing up. She walked to his door before turning around. She flicked off his light leaving a dim gloominess from the moon.

“Love you Durk.”

“Love you too. Night.”

_____________________________

“Will that be all for you two?” The cheerful waitress asked looking back and forth between the couple sitting down before her.

“Yes thank you.” Erik smiled showing his dimples.

She gave a polite smile before walking away.

Erik began to dig into his syrup covered waffles. They were the best fluffiest waffles he had ever eaten. It was Bendix’s diner famous family recipe that had him craving them every other day. Erik couldn’t deny that after Amiyah had brought him here on their first date he became addicted to the hospitality, homey feeling, and good food.

Hearing the sound of a fork clink in front of him brought him back down from his food euphoria.

“My bad. I’m just hungry as hell.” He hadn’t eaten anything all day and it was going on five in the afternoon.

She laughed. “It’s no problem. Thank you for inviting me out here. Everything is good so far.”

Erik wiped his mouth with a napkin giving Alexis a small smile.

“Yeah well you know why I asked you to come. I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on.” He spoke referring to the Shawn situation.

It’s been about three days since Durk informed Erik about a leak being in the circle. With only a handful of people knowing about the plan to rob Shawn they had to keep their eyes open and ears uncovered on everyone. There was no man being left out of the questioning. Erik and Durk was checking for everybody, especially Alexis.

With her being so close to him it made them wonder if she had somehow folded between the time of planning to even after the job was done. Erik wouldn’t have put it past her. It was easy for him to discover that she was a selfish who would turn on everyone just to cover her ass. He knew this the moment she revealed that Shawn was her off and on fiancé and how she didn’t have a problem setting him up. Alexis was a sheisty person.

Fixing her sunglasses she cleared her throat. “Erik I don’t know how that information got to him. You know if I did I would tell you.” She replied through her shades.

“So there’s no way you know?” He put his fork down crossing his arms.

“Erik it seems to me that you wanted to meet up with me as an interrogation instead of getting the information you need.” She put her elbows on the table folding her hands.

“I’m just calling it how it is. Shit was going good and all of a sudden word gets out about the way this nigga got hit move for move. Durkio’s name get brought up and you mean to tell me you don’t know shit about it? What’s wrong? You running out of the hush money he gave you?” His jaw clenched.

“No! Look things between me and Shawn have been tensed. Ever since the first time you assholes robbed him shit was getting out of hand. He was on edge trying to find the niggas who did it. It wasn’t that bad until he found his stash broken into when we came back from vacation. It’s been a living nightmare being with this nigga.” She finally pulled off the glasses revealing a black and purple mark on her left eye.

Erik sat up observing the bruise. His fists clenching and releasing. One thing he couldn’t stand was a weak pathetic man who liked to put their hands on females. This was surprising to Erik because he had never seen her with one before. With the time that him and Alexis had put in, she did do some shit that could irk the hell out of a man but never to that level where he would hit her. Erik felt that it was a sign of weakness with women already being vulnerable and not even having the same strength as a man.

“This nigga been hitting you. Why the fuck is you even with his bitch ass?” He stated pissed off.

Alexis rested her head along the palm of her hands.

“Because if I leave now I know for a fact he would try to kill me. Hell he’s already paranoid and suspicious about me. That’s why he’s been beating my ass the way he does. He’s fucking crazy Erik.”

For the first time Erik saw the fear cloud over her face. Alexis looked like she was terrified to bring his name up let alone to try and leave him. He started to feel bad. Despite of her mistakes in the past and her trying to come against him by blackmail Erik didn’t want to see her go through the pain she was probably experiencing.

“Alexis you have to get the fuck out of town. Take whatever you have left and don’t look back. It will be your best bet.” He warned her genuinely.

“I want to but it’s just not the right time. At least right now.” She paused hesitating to speak for a minute. “Erik could you just promise me something? Please?” Her eyes became soft as she held his hand.

He glanced at it. “What’s up?”

“Help me get out. When the time comes I want you to help me leave him. Please?” She begged.

Erik saw the fear and genuineness in her eyes. He shook his head agreeing. What could he say? He had a big heart for people who were going through. He experienced his own struggles and knew what it felt like to be alone.

“I’ll be here. Just say the word.” He replied calmly.

Alexis smiled squeezing his hand that she was still holding.

“I missed you Erik...I missed us.” She spoke before she could stop herself.

Breathing in and out slowly he removed his hand from hers gently.

“Alexis I apologize for what you’re dealing with on behalf of a real man but you know that there could never be another me and you together.” He spoke under his breath but loud enough for her to hear.

She sighed folding her arms. “I didn’t say I want us to be together I was just saying that I missed this and us how we used to spend quality time with each other.”

“Yeah well good things don’t last forever.”

Alexis watched him. He was becoming closed off and short answered. The only time he did that was when he was being bothered by something or put in an uncomfortable position. This must have been one of those.

She blew out air changing the subject. “Anyways I did have a little bit of information. After all that is my only reason for being here.”

Erik ignored her backhanded comment waiting for her to talk. “Go ahead.”

“Shawn has been getting word about someone going around town rocking his chain that was stolen. He’s asking around and he’s starting to get names Erik. I know you and Durk would never be dumb enough to do stupid shit like that so my guess is it’s the other motherfucka that went with y’all.”

“Cane?” His brows knitted.

“Exactly! I mean I get it. He’s a young hot nigga on the come up finally getting his hands dirty. He’s tryna prove himself but me and you both know that it would be that same flexin shit that could have him in the bottom of the ocean. So rather it be you or Durk, y’all need to check that nigga before he fucks it up for all of us.”

Erik nodded his head taking in every word. “Gotchu.”

Alexis put her shades back on and grabbed her purse.

“One last thing. Shawn is supposed to be meeting up with someone. I’m not sure if it’s related to you guys but I’ll keep you on post about it.”

Erik gave her a nod of acknowledgment and thanked her silently. He watched her get up and put on her coat.

“Be careful with yourself Erik. I mean that shit. You’re a good person that’s just tied into the wrong life. You’ve always deserved so much better.”

With that she walked out the restaurant leaving Erik behind with his thoughts. This had to be confirmation for him. For the last few weeks he’s been wanting to be fully done with this shit. He had enough money saved up where he could move anywhere across the country and not look back. But he couldn’t. He had unfinished business that he had to take care of first. Erik was never the man to leave his problems unsolved.

Taking out his wallet he pulled out a crisp fifty to take care of the bill. Grabbing his coat he left out and hopped into his car to go over to Durks. He wanted to inform him about the meeting that he had and also to warn him. It was about time they started to keep their circle tight.

___________________________

Banging on the door firmly. Erik waited in the hall until he heard the locks unlocking and came face to face with Amiyah. He took in her frame. Her face covered with her soft natural features that made her look even ten times more beautiful to him. Her healthy brown natural hair straightened with a middle part and falling just above her shoulders. She could rock any hairstyle but this one had Erik swooning over her in the inside.

It was a few seconds of silence before he spoke. “Hey is your brother around?”

Amiyah nodded. “Yeah he’s right there.” She giggled sheepishly pointing at him on the couch.

Erik looked in the direction as he saw Durk flipping the channel on the tv but he was eying the both of them suspiciously out the corner of his eye with his face scrunched up before shaking his head and giving his attention back to the screen.

“Damn I ain’t even seen that nigga.” He chuckled when he heard her laugh which was contagious.

“It’s okay I was just leaving. I’m going to Kelley’s so you guys be good.” She smiled widely before walking away.

Erik let her by watching strolled down the hall and into the elevators. She looked a lot happier today for some reason and it somehow made him feel better. Going inside he closed the door behind him and sat on the recliner.

“What’s up fool?” Erik said leaning into the chair.

“You tell me weird ass nigga. For some reason y’all two be acting like some fuckin weirdos when y’all get around each other. Laughing at nothing and shit.” Durk stated nonchalantly as he threw the remote down next to him.

Erik smiled. “Damn I can’t be the reason why she smile?” He asked teasingly.

Durk gave him a “stop playing with me” look causing him to laugh.

“What yo goofy ass doing here?”

Erik sighed. “You know that meeting I had set up?”

Durk nodded waiting for him to continue.

“It was with Alexis.”

Durk snickered shaking his head. “That wack ass girl. What she try to lie about this time?”

“Nah man to be honest. I don’t think she was lying to me. At least if she was it would be a damn good one but it just seem real this time.” Erik spoke looking him in the eye to let him know he was serious.

“Why you say that? Bitch suck ya dick or sumn.” He chuckled sitting up and grabbed his weed tray.

Bringing a hand up to brush down his waves, Erik rolled his eyes. “Nigga I said it because when I saw her she had a big ass bruise on her eye. That nigga Shawn been beating her ass because he’s paranoid as shit right now.”

“Hmph so don’t you think if he was doing that to her, that will give her a reason to go ahead and tell him everything she know? He’s suspicious about her so he starts punching her shit and then Alexis start throwing us under the bus. You can’t tell me different man.” Durk replied putting a blunt to his lip and lighting it.

Erik sat up sighing frustratedly. “Durk are you not getting what I’m saying? I mean it can’t be her because if he’s already beating her ass because he’s only suspicious about her then imagine what he would do to her if he found out that she was involved?”

He stopped mid sentence waiting for him to catch on. Durks face began to show an expression of realization when he thought about it silently.

“So if she end up telling him that it was us that robbed him and how she helped, she’d be dead before she could finish telling the story.” Durk added as he blew out the smoke from the blunt.

“Exactly! That’s exactly what she would be. Dead. It wouldn’t make sense for her to rat when she would only get herself killed. Which is why I don’t think it was her.” Erik retorted.

Durk smoked his blunt down half way quietly before he spoke again.

“We got to lay low. Shit is getting too hot and niggas is starting to know too much. I’m not sure for how long but we definitely gotta move in silence.”

“I agree. No more hits or jobs. Just have ya people work the corners and that’s it.”

Durk handed him a blunt. “Say less. It’s already done.”

Erik reached for the lighter that was on the table and sparked up his splif.

“She also told me that Cane running around here with that nigga chain on. She want us to check his ass before shit hit the fan.”

Durk shook his head. “Why do we always gotta clean up after grown ass niggas man? Yo when I see Cane I’ma fuck his ass up. Then I’m gonna interrogate him to see what he knows. Let him be the one. Fucking me over will be the last thing he does.”

“We gotta watch him too. He moves too reckless D.”

“I got eyes on him as we speak. Everybody’s a suspect. Except you. You the realest nigga I’ve ever known since I met you.” He inhaled his blunt.

Erik lifted his shoulders. “Loyalty is important to me. I go hard about that shit.”

“I know which is why I want you to come with me to Turks and Caicos in two more weeks. It’ll only be for a week but it’s better than looking over our shoulders over here. I’ll appreciate it if you accept the offer.” Durk asked giving him his full attention.

Erik chuckled. “Man what we going to Turks and Caicos for? What about your sister? Who’s gonna be with her?” He questioned him.

“That’s part of the reason why we’re going. I’m taking Amiyah for her 22nd birthday. It’ll be her first time out the country. Thought I do something different for a change with all the shit I put her through.” Durk snickered swiftly scratching his nose.

Erik smiled. The minute he mentioned the reason for the trip he was down to accept his invitation. A whole week away from the stress and drama to dinner on the beach with a view. This was something his body has been yearning for physically and mentally.

“That’s dope. I think she would really appreciate and cherish that man.”

“So what do you say? You coming or not?”

Erik tossed the roach blunt on the ashtray. “Nigga I’m fucking going to Turks and Caicos even if I have to swim my black ass over there.”

They both laughed getting back into good spirits.

“You one funny muthafucka man.” Durk chuckled reaching over to give him dap.

Erik smirked. “This might sound a little out of pocket but maybe I could bring Harmony with us. Only if that’s cool with y’all?”

Durk knitted his brows confused. “Nigga of course that’s okay. Why the fuck would I have a problem with that?” He laughed.

Erik shrugged his shoulders. The question wasn’t really meant for him but towards Amiyah.

“Shit I don’t know. I wasn’t sure if this was a family/ close friends only type of trip.”

Durk waved him off. “Look if shorty a friend of yours she a friend of mine and besides I think Amiyah would want to have another female on the trip that she could hang with.”

Erik nodded his head.

“But you must really like this girl. Thinking about inviting her and shit. Damn is the pussy that good nigga?” Durk asked leaning over towards him.

Erik laughed shaking his head. “Come on you know I don’t kiss and tell G.”

“Ahh whatever Erik. I’m happy for you though. If she’s someone who you can bring around and trust than I have no other choice but to like her as well.” Durk sent him a genuine smile.

“Yeah, we not official but she a good girl. Easy to talk to, smart, funny, and keeps it real as fuck. I fuck with her for real.” Erik replied thinking about Harmony.

Durk lifted his brows. “Aye but can I tell you something? All jokes aside.”

Erik turned to face him. “What’s up?”

“Between you and me...for a minute I thought Amiyah had a little crush on you or some shit. I even thought y’all was fucking around.” Durk snickered.

Erik’s stomach dropped. His heart even skipped a beat when he heard Amiyah and the words ‘crush on you’ in the same sentence. Putting on his best poker face he chuckled it off and pretended to be unbothered by his comment.

“What? Why you say that man?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it was just the way she used to look at you and act shy whenever you’d come over. Like earlier y’all doing that weird shit looking at each other and laughing. Fuck is that? Then there was the time you offered to bring her back to her friends crib late at night.” He explained scratching his head.

“Nah man. She’s cool. I like your sister.” Erik spoke sincerely making sure it didn’t come out the wrong way.

“ I don’t know man maybe it’s the weed talking but if you didn’t start seeing this Harmony chick I would have definitely suspected some shit about you and baby sis bro.” Durk chuckled.

Erik joined him to play it safe.

“Well you ain’t gotta worry about that. But look I’m out of here. I’ll get back to you on the information about the trip. Later big dog.” Standing up he dapped Durk up and left.

When Erik made it into the hall he finally exhaled the breath that he felt like he was holding in. That was too close for his liking and he was glad it didn’t get any further.

______________________________

Please excuse any mistakes!

Turks and Caicos trip in the next chapter!

Tag-List

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[intoanothermind]

Idyllic - Enoch O’Connor

Word Count: 11.3k words

– Enoch O’Connor x reader

Synopsis: Is it possible to fall in love through stories? Well, it happened to me. I fell in love with the stories that my grandmother told me.

Masterlist

(Okay, maybe I got a bit too excited writing this. But it was worth it, I liked the result, even if first I was going to make a whole fanfic out of this idea. And I based it off the movie as I still haven’t read the books. AU where Jacob was never followed by Barron.)

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I analysed the sepia photograph that almost shattered in my hands. It was old and worn out - from the time and the number of times it has been handled. The photo represented a small cave that seemed to be forgotten by everyone. The passage to the time that permeated most of my grandmother's teenage stories. I lowered the photo, seeing that I was directly in front of that same cave, on the small Welsh island of Cairnholm. I put the photograph in the pocket of my torn jeans and took a deep breath, trying to ignore how shaky my hands were. This was the moment I had been waiting for years, since my grandmother started telling me stories about this loop and I fell in love. I took a deep breath, knowing that this moment would change my life and I would not go back to my time again. I was prepared to leave everything I knew behind, with the proper farewells already made.

I squeezed the strap of the backpack that held some of my belongings and entered the cave. I could tell when I entered 1943. The air changed around me, becoming more dense before quieting. The sounds became calmer and my breathing heavier despite being in less polluted air - but I could blame the emotions. When I returned to the beach, the sky was no longer terribly cloudy. Instead, blue was prevalent, with only a few clouds. I smiled, because that meant I had done it. I followed the beach along the path I had taken the day before, when I visited the wreckage of the orphanage. It hadn’t been a pleasant visit. Even knowing the loops existed and how all the children were saved, seeing the place in pieces was heartbreaking. No wonder Grandma never returned to that place. But as I retraced my journey - familiar and at the same time unsettlingly different - I was trying to control my emotions. I didn't know how everyone would react to my presence. Grandma was still in correspondence with Miss Peregrine, but I didn't know the extent of their knowledge about me. Much less if they knew I was coming and whether they would be receptive to my arrival or not.

I started to hyperventilate when imagining the possibility of not being accepted, by everyone and by a peculiar one in particular. I stopped where I was, a few feet from crossing the small stream before the trees that hid the orphanage, and tried to take a deep breath. Even though there was a chance I wouldn’t be accepted, I had no other choice. Grandma was already getting old to protect me alone from the Hollows and I had no choice but to head to one of the loops around the world marked on the map Grandma gave me - and of course my obvious choice would be the one where my grandmother spent almost a decade living. When I felt calmer, I continued my walk. Seeing the big house - with reddish bricks and flowers growing through the structure - that housed Grandma's best childhood friends, I couldn't help the smile forming on my lips. The first to see me was a small, blond little girl in a pink dress that swayed around her body as she ran towards me.

“Eloise! You came back!”

My heart sank and the smile was gone.

“I ... I'm not Eloise. I'm her granddaughter, Y/N.” I replied. She stopped in front of me, studying my face.

She looked a little sad, but soon opened a big smile. “You look a lot like her. I'm Claire. Come, you have to meet everyone! They will be very happy!”

She started pulling me by the arm and, as much as I was eager to get to know everyone - even though I already knew from the stories I heard all my life - there was something I needed to do before.

“I would really love to, but I think I need to speak to Miss Peregrine first. Can you take me to her? Then you can introduce me to everyone.”

“Of course! Let's go!

Claire took me to the door. Every few meters that we walked, some new child turned to see who Claire was guiding so excitingly. Whispers and murmurs after a few seconds of silence. My arrival left the other children in an uproar. Wide eyes and surprised faces, they started whispering to each other, but none approached as Claire led me to the door. Perhaps because of my resemblance to my grandmother or the current clothes I wore. I looked among the children who were watching me, but the face I was looking for, however, was not among them.

“Miss Peregrine!” exclaimed Claire, entering the house with me.

As soon as we passed the bluish door, I looked around in wonder. Everything was so clear and clean. The staircase in front of me was complete, as were the side doors and the corridor hidden under the stairs on the right. So different from the orphanage that I visited back in 2019, the day before. That orphanage was destroyed, the wreckage left by the German bombing more than half a century before, still lying there.

“Y/N!

I looked at the person who called me and instantly recognized Alma Peregrine from the pictures Grandma showed me. Thin face and short hair with bluish threads. Blue eyes wide with a gleam of insanity, anxiety and wisdom. I smiled when I saw her approaching me with two cups in hand.

“Just in time, dear.” She said, handing me one of the cups. The smell that rose made me realize it was mint tea. “Claire, you can go play with the others. I'll take Y/N to meet everyone in a moment.” she told the blonde girl who still held my hand.

“But, Miss Peregrine...” Claire started to mumble, but the woman gave her a steady look that made her release my hand and jump happily back out.

“My name is Alma Peregrine, but I imagine I already knew that information.”

I smiled, nodding and accepting the handshake. “It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Peregrine.”

“The pleasure is mine, dear. Eloise talked a lot about you and warned us of your arrival.” She put a hand on my shoulder and guided me down the hall under the stairs, but stopped before we entered. “Leave your bag by the stairs, you can take it to your room later.”

I did as she asked and we headed down the hall, then into the kitchen and finally out into the courtyard. It was large, with grass, trees and shrubs pruned in various shapes - I could recognize an elephant, a centaur with a bow and arrow stretched out and a dinosaur farther down, near a football goalpost, where two boys played. One had bees around him and the other, well, I could just make out the clothes. Hugh and Millard. A blond boy was sitting under the dinosaur-shaped bush, shouting penalties at both of them while sharing his attention with a book. Beside him was a girl with brown braided hair and a few freckles watching the two boys play. Horace and Fiona.

Before we approached the presentations, however, I remembered something important.

“Oh, Miss Peregrine.” I said after taking another sip of tea. I reached for my jeans pocket by the folded letter and handed it to him under a curious look. “Grandma asked me to give it to you as soon as I arrived. You’ll have her new address, some new information before she forgot and… let's say attempts to keep in touch while you can.”

Alma Peregrine looked up at my face and I immediately recognized the look of pity and anguish that I so wanted to avoid.

“I'm sorry for your family, Y/N. And for Eloise too.”

I broke into a forced smile.

“It's all right. My parents' death happened many years ago, it isn’t something that bothers me very much.” I said and, on the one hand, I wasn’t lying. I was only eight when the Hollows killed them trying to get to me and my grandmother. Since then, Grandma and I haven't settled in one place for a long time and she was always with me, taking care of me. Until she thought it was appropriate for me to go on a loop because Alzheimer was advancing little by little. “And about Grandma... Well... We both knew that day was coming and she prepared me for it.”

“Still” Peregrine said, putting the letter in her dress pocket and hugging my shoulders “, I'm sorry.”

I nodded. “Only you and I have her new address. She wanted me to correspond with her while the disease is not yet very advanced and she can still remember.”

“Of course!” Peregrine stated. I sighed, relieved. I knew that someone other than her corresponding to the outside of the loop could be dangerous and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to have contact with Grandma. “As long as possible, you can send letters to her and I will help you with that.”

“Thank you, Miss Peregrine.”

She smiled warmly at me, before being distracted by someone calling her name. I followed his gaze and saw Claire approaching again, this time with a girl about her size, with brown curls dangling around her face. I smiled as I recognized Bronwyn and right behind them the twins dressed in white clothes from head to toe.

“Y/N, you already knew Claire” Peregrine started the presentations. “and this is Bronwyn and the twins.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I said, smiling at the children in front of me.

The twins jumped a little, looking excited, but Bronwyn stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my legs. She lifted me up and I had to hold on to her shoulders to keep from falling when she lifted me off the floor.

“I'm very happy to meet Eloise's granddaughter, she was always sending photos of you.”

“Bronwyn, put her on the floor!” Miss Peregrine hurried to say, but I could only laugh.

“It's quite alright.” I assured. “It's really nice to meet Grandma's friends too, Bronwyn, she talked a lot about you.”

She giggled as she put me back on the floor and let out a “it'll be great to have you live with us” before running with Claire and the twins into the house. I looked at Peregrine, a little confused.

“The children knew that when you came it was to stay, Eloise always warned us of this, although not everyone believed that you would really come.” she paused and I wondered if she knew I could guess who she was referring to. “Claire must have spread it to everyone that you were here.”

We went further into the courtyard, approaching Horace and Fiona, who soon got up when they saw us.

“These are Horace and Fiona.” said Miss Peregrine. “Fiona, it's almost time.”

Fiona smiled broadly and waved at me before running towards the front of the house, to the garden there, while Horace watched my clothes curiously.

“This is an interesting attire.”

I lowered my head, examining my clothes. Half-worn jeans, a white T-shirt and a denim jacket on top, with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. On my feet I had a pair of black mid-high all stars. Ordinary clothing, at least for the year I came from. I opened my eyes wide when I realized that I would have to adapt to the 1943 dress. Which meant I couldn't wear pants, let alone jeans.

“Miss Peregrine, will I not be able to wear my clothes?” I asked, almost getting desperate. I wasn’t at all comfortable in skirts and dresses.

Peregrine sighed, half defeated. I was sure Grandma must have had some discussions about it with her in the letters.

“It wouldn’t be ideal, but if you only use them inside the house, where no one but us would see it... I think we can work out a deal.” She said, taking me farther in the yard, passing the boys playing. “These are Hugh and Millard.” they waved at me, but continued the game. Well, Hugh waved and Millard must have touched his hat, which moved a little in the air. “And this is Jacob and Emma.”

I turned my head at the sound of the strange name. Emma was easy to recognize from Grandma's photographs. Blonde and very beautiful. She was barefoot and tied to a rope, floating back to the floor. On the other side of the rope was a tall, thin boy with black hair and blue eyes. Beside him were Emma's heavy shoes. But as I looked more closely, I realized that the boy was familiar to me. Not from Grandma's pictures, because I never heard a story that included any Jacob, but I recognized him. I had to hold the cup with both hands in order not to drop it on the floor due to the fright.

“Jake?!”

He turned so fast and startled that if Emma hadn't already been putting herself back in her shoes she would have flown away.

“Y/N?!” He seemed as surprised to recognize me as I was.

“Do you know each other?” asked Peregrine, frowning.

I blinked a few times to dispel the astonishment.

“Yes, we... We studied together in Florida for a few months before Grandma moved us.” I answered.

“My God, Y/N, it's you!” Jake hugged me quickly, before returning to Emma's side. “You look so different, older!”

“Well, it is 2019 on the outside, Jake, I think I aged a little bit more than you.” we laugh, including Emma.

“You must be Y/N, Eloise's granddaughter. I'm Emma, nice to meet you.” She said sympathetically, shaking my hand with a smile.

“Wait, is Eloise your grandmother? Eloise who left with my grandfather from the loop?”

I looked sideways at Emma when I heard Jacob's words, but she looked fine, smiling with Jacob's hand clasped in hers. I think there were some updates from the peculiar kids that Grandma didn't let me in on.

“So Abe is your grandfather.” I said, finally understanding why Jacob was there. “I don't think we found out before because I never saw your grandfather with you.”

“So you met him?” He frowned, confused.

I nodded. “Yes, Grandma took me a couple of times to see him, but when he was alone. He said he didn't want his grandson to know about the peculiars before he was 18. I'm really sorry for your grandfather.”

Jacob nodded, a little ruefully.

“Well, I see that you have a lot to talk about.” said Miss Peregrine. “I'll leave them then while I prepare dinner. Emma, take Y/N to her room later and lend some dress while we don't fix her wardrobe.”

“Has she met everyone?” she asked.

Miss Peregrine gave me a look that I couldn’t decipher and, by her next words, I wondered how much she knew me from the letters exchanged with Grandma.

“Y/N can meet Olive and Enoch at dinner.”

She took my cup of tea, which by now was cold, and went back into the house alone, leaving me with Emma and Jacob.

“So this means I'm now older than you?” I asked, hoping to break the silence.

And it worked, for Emma's laugh and Jacob's eyes roll.

“Only in appearance, Y/N, only in appearance.”

“Still, I'm 19 and you are 16.” I laughed with Emma when I saw Jacob's exasperated expression. “What is your peculiarity? It shouldn't be too obvious, since I didn't realize it when we were at school.”

Jacob scratched the back of his neck, a little uncomfortably.

“It's the same as my grandfather's, I can see the Hollows.”

After a few seconds of tense silence, I finally said something.

“Wow, that would have been so useful and easier than binoculars.”

“ Binoculars?” asked Emma.

I nodded. “A few years ago, Grandma, Abe and I created out of Grandma's peculiarity a type of binoculars to make visible what is invisible. So you can see the Hollows and even Millard if you want. We tried to recreate it to send another one to Miss Peregrine, but we couldn't.”

“And where is it now?” Jacob asked.

I swallowed hard and tried to respond as naturally as possible.

“With grandma. She would need it out there more than I do in here.”

Their faces became a little sad, but Emma soon changed the subject.

“And do you have the same peculiarity as Eloise? Artistic reality?”

“Yes and no.” I broke into a small smile when I saw their confused faces. “Grandma could give life to her paintings, but she was limited to canvas and paint. I just need a place to draw and a pen or pencil.”

“This is so cool, I would love for you to demonstrate!” Emma exclaimed, looking cheerful. “But dinner starts in a few minutes and we need to get you a dress.”

I think it was easy to see how I felt about dresses in my horrified expression, because Jacob started to laugh. Emma barely cared, holding my hand and leading me back to the house. Jacob came after us both, still laughing at my reluctance. But I knew there was no escape. We entered through the back door and passed the kitchen, where Peregrine was already busy with dinner. Jacob stayed behind to help her place the table in the dining room. When we returned to the foyer, I only had time to grab the strap of my backpack quickly before being pulled by Emma toward the marble stairs, covered in a dark red carpet.

After we passed the two flights of stairs, I found myself facing a half-dark corridor full of doors and a window at one end. Emma guided me to one of the doors to the left of the stairs. But I froze before following her into the room. I heard two voices coming from one of the rooms on the right side of the stairs, along with some strange noises, like scissors and clicks. I widened my eyes when I remembered that in the destroyed orphanage I saw in 2019, that room was the one with the bookcase full of broken jars. Enoch?

“Y/N?”

I turned to Emma, eyes wide and cheeks burning.

“Yes?” My voice came out squeaky and I was sure Emma noticed.

She raised her eyebrow, a little cynically, but said nothing. She just entered the room again, and this time, I followed.

“This is my room.” She said, going to the old wardrobe. Well, old for me. “Your room will be at the end of the hall, I'll take you there to change. But first, let's find a dress for you.”

I mumbled a little "okay" to her and watched as she went through her things. Emma took a small look at my shoes and pulled out a simple light blue dress, cut similar to the baby pink she was wearing, from inside the wardrobe.

“I think this dress here will look better on you with your... modern shoes.”

I giggled at her hesitation, but accepted the dress. Emma smiled and led me back into the hall. We passed the stairs and through the room that I had heard the voices before. We stopped in front of a room two doors down from that. After she said it would be my room from now on, she left me alone to change and get down in ten minutes. I looked around me. A simple single bed, an old wardrobe, a medium size mirror hanging next to the door and a simple table with a chair and a lamp under the window that faced the orphanage and the vegetable garden. The room was simple, but it looked cozy and I smiled. That would be my room for the next few decades and I wish I could make it my own corner. I left my backpack by the bed, knowing I could unpack later. I didn't bring much more than clothes and personal items in it, I knew that no electronic device would work there. Although I brought at least my cell phone and my polaroid camera. I knew I could design some kind of adapter for the plug and more paper for the photos.

I changed my clothes quickly, leaving my shirt and jeans folded on the bed. When I put on the dress, a little reluctantly, I went to the mirror. I was surprised to find that I was beautiful with it, despite some discomfort when using it. And Emma was right, it didn't look so bad with my black all star. I didn't want to be too late, so I just fixed my short curls and left the room towards the stairs. When I got to the hall, I realized that I had no idea where the dining room was. I heard the chirping voices of the children and followed one of the doors on the sides of the hall. The dining room was well lit and decorated. There was a large table in the middle, full of food and where everyone was already seated, except Miss Peregrine, who was standing at one end. There was an empty seat on his right side and soon after Emma, Jake, Bronwyn, Horace and Fiona, with Claire, Millard, Hugh, Olive and the twins on their other side. I looked at the other end of the table, at the boy I had been looking forward to meeting since I knew I was coming to the orphanage.

They must have heard it when I opened the door, because everyone turned to me. I smiled, a little embarrassed by the attention, but it widened when Enoch's dark eyes met mine.

“Eloise?!”

My smile closed slightly when he stood up abruptly, looking at me with a kind of horrified expression. I knew I wouldn't have a very good reception from him, but I think I was still hopeful that it would be different.

“Now, Enoch, of course not! It's Y/N!” exclaimed Millard, looking delighted that I joined them.

“Of course, you and Olive haven't been introduced to her yet.” said Miss Peregrine, holding out her arm for me to approach. “This is Y/N, Eloise's granddaughter. We've talked about it, kids, Y/N will be joining the orphanage from now on.”

I smiled when I realized that Olive and the others seemed to give me warm, welcoming smiles when I sat down next to Peregrine. But not Enoch. He was still looking at me with a dark and unreadable expression. He wasn't happy that I was there, but I couldn't figure out what else my arrival was doing to him. I didn't have much time to find out, as he soon turned and ran out of the dining room, with the children screaming for him.

“Okay, kids, we can have dinner today without him.” said Miss Peregrine.

Some children looked surprised. I don't think it was very common to have a meal with someone missing. But it seemed that everyone knew the reason behind it, from the effort they made to not mention it during the entire dinner. Other than that, however, the dinner was very lively. I avoided saying anything unless a question was addressed directly to me. Which means that I talked almost all the time that I wasn't chewing. Where were you born? How's Eloise? Why did you come? What do you think about meeting your grandmother's friends? Where have you two travelled before? Is it true that you already knew Jake?

It wasn’t so uncomfortable to answer the questions. Everyone there already seemed to know about Grandma's situation and why I would come here at some point. So even with the heaviest responses, the mood was not tense. When everyone was done, a phone rang in the background and everyone fell silent. I was a little confused, since I didn't remember Grandma talking about a phone call they received that September 3, 1943 in whatever story she told.

“Well, we will have to answer it.” said Miss Peregrine. “Emma, why don't you go ahead and answer it? Children, go with her and soon I will go. Y/N, wait a minute, please.”

As everyone went out into the hall, Peregrine took the empty plate that was in Enoch's place and began to fill it with the leftover food in the middle of the table, while I waited standing beside the chair. When she looked satisfied, she wrapped the cutlery in a napkin and placed it in my hands along with the plate.

“Can you take this to Enoch, dear?” she said, with a twinkle in her eyes that I dare say is a little suspicious. “His room is the first door to the right of the stairs.”

Of course it was.

“Are you sure it isn’t better for you to take it?” I asked in a low voice, a little afraid. “I don't think he'll want to see me.”

“He needs to get used to you sometime, Y/N.” She stated in a sweet voice. “Now go and come down again before reset.”

I nodded and headed for the hall. I could hear the children's tumult in the hallway leading to the kitchen, but I ignored them and went up the stairs, trying to prepare my heart to face the boy who had stolen my attention in all the stories Grandma told. I took a deep breath when I stopped in front of the door indicated by Miss Peregrine. I was nervous and afraid to drop the plate from my shaking hands. I knocked on the door and waited, but got no answer.

“Enoch?” this time I called when I knocked again.” Enoch, I brought your dinner.”

When I didn't get an answer again, I decided to test the knob. The door opened and I went inside. The room was as I imagined it from Grandma's descriptions and from what I could see from the wreckage of the orphanage in 2019. It had another door facing the entrance and a lamp in the middle of two large shelves full of pots. Some empty and others with dark water and shapes inside. I didn't need to look any closer to know that they were animal hearts. On the other side of the bookcase was the room itself. The single bed beside the door and a table directly in front of it, full of the most diverse objects, tools and doll parts. On the other side of the table was a large window with a closed blue partition. On one side of it was a sink and a half-dirty mirror and, on the other, a hammock hanging from the beam with more pieces of dolls. Despite the big window and the lamps and lamps scattered throughout the room, the atmosphere was still dark and impression of being somewhat morbid.

Enoch was facing the window, one hand in his pants pocket and the other arm resting on the frame. His expression was somber and, although he seems to be too absorbed in watching the sun almost set outside, I knew he was aware of my presence by his tense posture. I took a deep breath, preparing to formally introduce myself and leave him his food, but he spoke before I could open my mouth.

“What are you doing here?” His voice was low and anguished and at no time did he turn towards me.

“Miss Peregrine asked me to bring you dinner.”

“I didn't mean up here, I meant what you are doing here in the loop.” He turned abruptly, with clenched fists. His gaze met mine and I had to control myself not to back down. I came knowing that my presence would bring painful memories to him and that he would be rude to me, but I didn't imagine that I would see so much hatred and contempt in his eyes. “If you are to leave just like Eloise did, you can go now. We don't need you here.”

I took a deep breath and tried to keep the pieces of my heart from becoming tears. I knew it would happen, I was prepared - it was what I kept repeating in my mind. Even so, it still hurt.

“I came to stay.” I replied and realized when he gasped with my firm tone and not intimidated. I left the plate and cutlery on the table, in a part free of dolls and tools. “I know that my presence is not pleasant at this moment, Enoch, but I am not leaving. I don't have the desire that she had to know the world outside because I already knew him. Since I was a child and heard stories about this place, I knew that this was where I would come when Grandma couldn't take care of me anymore. I imagine that like the others you must also know her situation. She was everything I had out there, so I have no reason to leave.

He opened his mouth to say something and I just raised my hand so he wouldn't interrupt me.

“No matter how much you want me to leave, I won’t. I came to 1943 to stay. You may have been the person I most wanted to meet. Yes, I know about your story and how much she hurt you, but she told me the amazing person you could be when you’re not in a bad mood around the corner and she always said that one of the biggest regrets in her life was leaving it. Before crossing the ocean, she asked me to take good care of you, because she knew you could be someone special to me and I intend to keep that promise, whether you want to or not. So you can treat me as badly as you want, I will not give up and I will not leave!”

I turned abruptly and left, without looking at him one last time. I was surprised at myself, for having said more than I intended, but at least I felt a weight coming out of my chest. And I wasn’t lying. Grandma said that one of her biggest regrets was having left him to go live in the world outside, but that at least it had led her to have mother and me. And the promise was real. I would take care of him in one way or another and I did intend to get him out of that armour.

“Oh, Y/N.” Peregrine looked at me with a warm and pitiful expression when I went down the stairs and that's when I realized that some tears were streaming down my cheek. I dried them quickly, hoping that it wouldn't be too apparent when I joined the other kids. “He just needs time, my dear, you just need to be patient.”

I swallowed hard when I realized that Grandma had talked more about me than I felt comfortable with. How embarrassing is your new headmistress to know about you liking the same boy your grandmother was romantically involved with? Is this just because of the stories told by the mentioned grandmother? I could almost feel my face exploding with shame.

“C'mon C'mon.” she rushed me, putting a gas mask in my hands and guiding me to the patio. “It's almost time to reset.”

I noticed that the children were all outside in the rain, with their masks on their faces and behind a small wooden table, where they had a gramophone and an open umbrella. Miss Peregrine hurried to put a clock on the table and turn on the gramophone. Typical '40s music started playing and I smiled as I put on the mask and joined the kids. It was a little nostalgic to hear it, as I always listened to it with Grandma. Olive, who was at my side, put her thick-gloved hand around me in a brief hug.

That's when I saw the flashes between the clouds. They looked like thunder, but they were orange. The first plane flew over the orphanage and I gasped, shocked to see a German plane live, even after I had prepared for it. It seemed too unbelievable that I was there, in the middle of World War II. Two more planes flew overhead and Miss Peregrine looked again at the pocket watch in her hand. Eight more planes passed over the house. A final plane flew over, and when it was near the orphanage, it opened the cargo hold and a bomb fell. I could see the swastika painted in white from my place on the floor. I winced. Not just because of the cold rain that ran down my clothes or because I knew what would happen if Miss Peregrine didn't return the last 24 hours - because I knew she would do it precisely. But because I knew everything that that symbol painted on the bomb meant. These kids living in a loop unaware of what happens in the future seem like a gift that Jacob and I wouldn’t share. Our knowledge of history seems to be a burden.

Seconds before the bomb hit the house, time stopped. The bomb stopped and so did the rain droplets. I saw Miss Peregrine turning the clock and everything moved in reverse. The bomb returned to the cargo compartment of the plane, which flew backwards in the sky, as did the other planes that had already passed and now returned. The raindrops returned to the sky, as did those that had already fallen. Time came back and it was day again. He came back more and it was night, but not like the one I had seen seconds before. It was a clear night with a starry sky. The clock read 2 September 1943.

I took a deep breath and sighed when I took off the mask. I was impacted by the reset. Despite everything Grandma had said and as she described it, seeing it in person was another experience. I was here, finally. My dream came true and I was here, in Cairnholm, Wales, living in Miss Peregrine's orphanage with other peculiar children, just like me. I would live my life frozen at the age of 19 and reliving September 3, 1943 every day.

And I couldn't be happier, despite all the circumstances that have brought me here.

“Y/N, Y/N!” Claire's voice took me out of my thoughts. She was already pulling me by the hand towards the house and the others laughed a little behind us. “Today I want Y/N to tell me a story!”

I laughed too. “But of course, princess. You just don't have to rip my arm off.”

The others continued to laugh and I smiled.

Before Claire pulled me through the door, however, I looked up. In one of the windows on the second floor I could see a figure watching us. Despite knowing that Enoch probably had a closed expression when he watched me, I put the mask under my arm and used my free hand to wave at him. I made sure to keep my smile on my face.

                         ~*~  

                  The months went by and when I realized it had been a year since I arrived. I was able to adapt easily to the life in the loop. Everyone there was very receptive to me - well, almost everyone - and the daily tasks weren’t so difficult, since they were distributed among all thirteen children. Many times when I stayed to prepare breakfast or lunch, Enoch was responsible for helping me. And I was sure I had been Miss Peregrine's idea. She seemed to want to help me interact with him. Not that it helps much, since he doesn't speak to me more than strictly necessary. But at least it was progress from the first many months, when he was just rude all the time. Olive also tried to help. She was closest to Enoch and, after a girl’s night in my room with her and Emma - when they not only tried on my 21st century clothes with a lot of laughter but also forced some secrets out of me - Olive tried to make him open up a little and not just plainly ignore me. Still, I treated him as I treated everyone: with a smile on my face and always willing to approach.

I became part of the routine there. Between the letters I exchanged with Grandma and the daily chores, I quickly became friends with everyone. Most of the morning I spent with Bronwyn, Claire and the twins, whether playing with dolls or playing tag. During the afternoon I played football with the boys or chess with Emma or Jacob. At least once a week I would join Emma and Olive for a girl’s night. When I didn't feel very well, either because I missed Grandma or because Enoch was extremely rude to me, I would sit in the library and spend all day there reading. Horace used to join me these days. Sometimes he managed to get some conversation going, sometimes we just kept each other company while we read. It was comforting.

When I first took my camera out of my room, everyone was curious. Miss Peregrine had a strict rule about talking about the future or having things from the future, but I think that since Jacob arrived three years before me, she didn't care so much about a few slips. Especially if it wasn't something that could cause too much impact. Even Enoch seemed interested, even though he tried not to show it in front of me. I made sure to take pictures of everyone and leave a copy for each peculiar. I even taught Emma how to use the camera and she loved taking it with her when she was out walking with Jake.

As for my peculiarity, I never practiced it as much as there in that loop. The younger children were always asking me to make them a new doll or toy for them, Hugh always asked me for a new ball when the old one burst and I managed to avoid some trips outside the loop by doing some things that Miss Peregrine needed. I always carried a pen I had in 2019 in my dress pocket. It was easier to be prepared, since there was always someone asking for something. And I didn't complain, it was always good to be able to see the smile on their faces afterwards and to be able to practice. Each new order was a new challenge. I had even started a new project to make binoculars that allow Miss Peregrine to see invisible things. It still hadn't had the same effect as I did with Grandma and Abe, but I was on the way.

Enoch, however, had never asked me for anything. Not that it stopped me from taking my pen and using several pieces of paper to draw hearts of all sizes. At least once a week I filled pots with hearts and left them in front of his room. At first he seemed upset by this and even told me to stop, but of course I ignored him - especially after I heard him saying to Miss Peregrine that their efficiency was equal to that of animal hearts. One of the times that I left the pots for him, I hid behind my bedroom door and waited for Enoch to leave his room. I could have sworn I saw a small smile on his lips before he slammed the door.

I was happy that Enoch seemed to open up to the other kids at least. A few weeks ago, after talking to Bronwyn about Victor on a day that she was particularly sad, I left the house looking for Claire, as I knew that maybe she was a little disoriented without her usual company. When I approached a tree furthest from the garden, I was surprised to find Enoch sitting in the shadows with Claire, giving life to several dolls in order to distract her. I stayed away, watching as he made her laugh with a small smile on his lips. I turned around and joined Bronwyn in her room again, my heart warming from the scene I witnessed, but not wanting to disturb them.

But even after the progress I made with Enoch, perhaps today it was the trigger for everything to go down. My emotions have never been so close to exploding.

Tonight was a movie night. Horace had announced that morning that he had dreamed of more than just clothes and Miss Peregrine decided that we would see after dinner. Everyone spent all day anxious, as it’s been many days since Horace hadn’t dreamed of anything interesting to be shown. Several times throughout the day I caught him looking at me like he was having an inside joke that I didn't understand. When everyone had finished dinner, we spread out in the living room. Claire sat on my lap, like almost every time we watched Horace's dreams, and I started braiding her hair, being careful to keep my fingers out of her backmouth. The twins sat on the floor, leaning against my legs, and Bronwyn sat down with Enoch on the couch directly across from us.

“Everyone ready, dears?” asked Miss Peregrine when she arrived in the room after taking the call.

“Horace said he had a very interesting dream! What do you think is it about?” Claire asked me, looking excited.

“We’ll find out soon enough, princess.” I replied, finishing braiding the blond hair.

When Miss Peregrine turned off the lights and Horace projected the images on the wall, I almost immediately regretted being there in that room. The first image was a girl with short curls and a tear-stained face. It was me. I couldn't see much beyond my face and my hand moving a pen over a piece of paper. I didn't seem to be doing my drawings, I was writing. I sniffed, with more tears streaming down my face, and ran my hand over my cheek to dry some of them, before leaning over the paper. Something moved behind me and it was then that I realized it was a door opening. A figure came in and the dream me turned around in fear. I felt the eyes of the other children on me and I swallowed, hoping the images would soon change. And they changed. The next image was of a beach, with calm waves. It stayed in that image for a few seconds before changing again. Horace was trying on a suit and looking at himself in the mirror.

The image changed again and I almost felt my face explode with shame. The dream showed me sitting in the shadow of a half-hidden tree, probably at the back of the orphanage courtyard. But I was not alone. Enoch was with me, his back against the tree and hugging me around the waist. I was leaning against his chest, between his legs. I had a book in my hands and read it aloud. We both laughed at something and he kissed my face several times until I turned and kissed his lips.

I just wanted a hole to open in the floor and swallow me. Some kids started giggling and Claire nudged my arm, laughing softly too. I heard a whistle from one of the boys and Jacob, who was sitting next to me, raised his eyebrow at me with a mocking smile on his lips. I gathered courage and looked up to see Enoch's reaction. I wish I hadn't done it. He didn't look at me, but he had an expression of pure disgust on his face. And it hurt more than I expected.

“I think it's fine for today, Horace, thank you.” said Miss Peregrine, turning on the lights while the others made noises of indignation. “Come on, come on, kids, it's almost time for reset.”

Everyone got up quickly. I wasn't in such a hurry, I was feeling a little dizzy with everything. When I finally got up from my seat on the sofa, the children had already gone after Miss Peregrine and only Enoch remained in the room. I avoided looking him in the eye when I passed him to leave too. But I was stopped abruptly when he grabbed my arm in an iron grip. I turned to him, confused, and the question stuck in my throat when I saw his black eyes shining with pure contempt.

“If you think that will happen, you are extremely wrong.” he said with so much venom in his tone that I almost choked on tears that were threatening to rise. “Now that Horace has shown us the dream, I will stop it.”

I didn't want to hear anymore. My emotions, which had been choking me for the past few days, seemed to bubble. I yanked my arm out of his grip and barely felt the sting that his fingers left on my skin. I practically flew out of the room and into the kitchen, ignoring the curious looks of those still in the hall. I needed to calm down. I took some water and took a sip. I took a deep breath, trying to contain the tightness in my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut to keep the tears from falling. I stayed there for a few minutes and, when I heard the rain starting to fall, I decided that I would go to the room instead of watching the reset. All I wanted at that moment was to write a letter to grandma. She would know the right words to say to me so I wouldn't let my emotions take over my decisions and end up leaving for another loop. I finished drinking my water and left the kitchen. When I was heading for the stairs, however, I heard voices coming from the living room. It seemed to be an argument.

“… right to say that to her, Enoch!”

Emma.

“Doesn’t matter.” he said in a voice so low that I almost couldn't hear. He didn't seem as angry as he used to. He seemed almost… sad.

“Of course it matter!” Emma did look annoyed. “Y/N was nothing but kind and sweet to everyone here, especially you! You cannot treat her that way when she has given you no reason to do so.”

“You don't know that! She can decide to simply take her things and leave just like Eloise did! And what will prevent it? And what will become of me when I have to go through this pain all over again?”

“Enoch, put this in your head: Y/N is not leaving! She came here knowing that she will live here forever.”

I appreciated the fact that Emma was defending me, but I needed to act on my own. I opened the door and they both looked surprised to see me there.

“Emma is right, Enoch.” I said in a voice so calm that it surprised even myself, because I felt the complete opposite of calm. “Yes, there have been times when you treated me so badly in the last few months that I got to the point of almost taking the map I have with the loops and leaving. But do you know why I didn't and won't do it? First, because you wouldn't be the one I would leave behind. I made friends here, I made a family. I wouldn’t be able to abandon them because of you. And how many times do I need to repeat that I don't need to go back to 2019 because I have no reason to remain there besides my grandmother who is no longer able to live with me without attracting Hollows. In addition, I made a promise that I intend to keep.”

Emma tried to leave the room quietly, but I raised my hand and motioned for her not to go. My head was spinning so much that I needed her there with me in case I passed out in front of Enoch. He, in turn, just watched me while I vented everything. His shoulders fell and his eyes shone with an emotion that I didn't recognize when they strolled across my face. It was then that I felt tears streaming down my cheeks, but I didn't even bother to dry them.

“I promised grandma that I would take care of you, Enoch. And it's not just because you were an important person to her, but because, with all the stories I heard from this place, I managed to fall in love with yours. I know this is weird. To I fall in love with someone just hearing about that person? Well, it happened. And then I get here and I can only fall more in love with you. You have become an important person to me and I feel completely pathetic for being in love with someone who has treated me badly since the moment you saw me. But I made a choice, I chose to come to this loop and I will stay true to that choice. Maybe I’ll regret it in the future? I might, but I will remain here because you are here and, even if you spend the next few centuries hating me, I will spend the next few centuries here enduring it, because I am pathetic. I'm pathetically in love with you.”

I finished talking and I was almost in tears. My breathing was heavy and my vision blurred. Emma looked at me biting her lip, as if holding a smile, but Enoch looked at me with wide eyes and completely bewildered. It was then that I realised everything I said and after a few seconds paralysed, I ran out of the room. I only stopped when I was back in my room, just in time to see through the window the night turning into day and night again. The children would soon begin to return to their rooms for bed. But I couldn't sleep after everything that happened that day. I just needed Grandma there with me, to give me a hug and make her special hot chocolate.

I took a deep breath, my back still against the closed door, and tried to control my tears, but I couldn't. The memory of the dream of the two of us under the tree and the way he treated me were still stuck like iron to my eyelids. I looked at the table under the window and ran to it. I turned on the lamp and took a piece of paper from the corner. I took my pen out of my dress pocket while I sat down and started writing a letter. I just hoped the handwriting was minimally readable, since I couldn't see very well between my tears.

                 Hello Grandma,

How are you? How is the nursing home treating you? I hope you haven't had any problems and that no Hollow has found it. I know it hasn't been more than a week or two since the last letter I wrote to you, but I think maybe I’ve reached my emotional limit. I know what you're going to say "but Y/N, it's only been a few months!" I know, grandma, I know. But I think I let everything accumulate and I couldn't take it after today's events.

I think the progress I reported to you was not so positive. I am quite sure that Enoch hates me perhaps more than he hates you. I'm sorry if I failed the promise to take care of him. In my defence, I did and continue to do whatever I can to let him at least know that I am being truthful about my intentions here. But after today I know he will hardly want to be in the same place as me, let alone open up again and stop being so… lonely.

Tonight was a movie night, Grandma. Do you remember how delighted I was every time you told me about them? And that, the first time I saw it, I wrote a whole letter about it? I am still fascinated by how Horace manages to project his dreams, but today all I wanted was for him to have kept that dream to himself. Maybe then my heart wouldn't be so broken. Horace dreamed of us, Grandma, me and Enoch. Together. Sitting under a tree and being kind to each other. Enoch even smiled in the dream. And while my heart was filled with a warm and euphoric feeling at the sight of it, Enoch later shattered it into thousands of pieces. He made it very clear that it would never happen, as he would do his best to avoid it.

Grandma... Is there something wrong with me? You were the only one who was present with me in my whole life, my only constant, my only friend and family. So I ask you to be completely honest with me and I trust you to be. Is something wrong with me? To prevent people from getting closer, to prevent me from being happy in the only place I have felt at home in my entire life? Is it my fault that I am unable to find the peace I have always sought here?

I feel so small, Grandma, so small and pathetic. Maybe it's my fault for not being able to be happy here. While everyone is so warm and welcoming to me... I feel like I blew it with Enoch, who was the biggest reason I chose 1943 in Cairnholm to stay. I told him, Grandma. I know you said that I should have told him before and in a way that I wouldn't scare him, but I practically screamed at his face that I was in love with him. I never felt so stupid and never really wanted so badly to go back in time and avoid my mistake. He will never want to look at me again...

I should have kept that secret with me forever. And it was the first time that I felt that maybe it was a mistake to come to this loop. What if he was better before I arrived? I don't think we ever got to talk about that possibility, but I admit that it just crossed my mind today. What if he was already better and I just made it worse? Should I go? Should I ask him if he wants me out? I'm sorry, Grandma, but I think I would have to break our promise and go. My heart sinks at the thought of leaving the others, but I would do anything to make Enoch happy.

                                       I had to stop writing the letter for a moment when more tears started to flow. I ran my hand over my cheek in a futile attempt to dry them and leaned over the paper again, trying to organize my confused thoughts into coherent sentences. But I didn't get to write, because the sound of the door opening caught my attention. I turned around scared, because I didn't expect anyone to come here after the curfew. I widened my eyes even more when I realized it was Enoch at the door and stood up, surprised.

“Enoch?!”

Enoch said nothing as he closed the door behind him. I rested my hands on the table behind me, embarrassed and nervous. When Enoch took the necessary steps to approach me, I had to support myself with my hands and waist on the table, as my legs no longer supported me. When his scent - a mixture of earth, soap and formaldehyde - hit me hard, I looked up and looked at his face. I was even more surprised when I saw anguish and sadness in his dark eyes. He raised a callused hand to my face, but hesitated only for a second when I tensed. I gasped and closed my eyes when his fingers touched my cheeks and dried my tears.

“Y/N...” Enoch said, his voice low and choppy. “I'm so sorry.”

I opened my eyes wide. An apology from him was the last thing I expected.

“I didn't want you to feel that way. Okay, I wanted to, but not for the reasons you think.” He added when he saw my raised eyebrow. He wiped away more tears that had just fallen and continued to hold my face in his hands. “I don't hate you, Y/N. At least not anymore. I wanted to hate you, I wanted you to hate me, but I can't. Even when I was rude to you, even when all I did was give you reasons to be rude to me too. But I feel different with you, when you open that smile even when I do my best to ignore you. When you put hearts on my door, when you share all your free time with others, giving them your attention and never complaining.”

My breathing became heavier as I began to understand the words he spoke as a small smile opened on his lips. His eyes shone a little brighter with each sentence and his gaze roamed my face with an emotion that I couldn't identify. When he spoke the next sentence, however, I felt like I could pass out right there.

“I fell in love with you, Y/N, and I'm sorry for everything I did with you. I just didn't want to get hurt again.”

I couldn't formulate any sentences. I felt like my brain had stopped working properly. I could only look at Enoch's face, opening and closing my mouth, trying to say something but without succeeding. After a few minutes of looking at us, Enoch's expression fell and he started to walk away from me. That's when I started to panic because I needed to give him an answer. I grabbed his wrist before he could walk to the door and put my other hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me. Our lips touched and I felt like my heart was going to explode when he didn't pull away. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and my entire body relaxed against his. His kiss was magical and I couldn't concentrate on anything other than Enoch - his scent, his arms around me, his chest against mine, his curls wrapped around my fingers, his lips forming a smile against mine.

We broke the kiss, but we didn't move away. I felt my cheeks burning when I saw his eyes watching me with a fondness I wasn’t used to. I hid my face against his shoulder, embarrassed, and he hugged me against his chest. The feeling of being in his arms was wonderful.

“Y/N?” he called and I leaned away minimally. I followed his gaze to where I had left the letter I wrote to Grandma and hurried to hide the letter behind my body. Enoch looked up at my face with a determined expression. “Y/N, I don't want you to leave. Please don’t leave me.”

The pain in your voice broke my heart.

“I won’t.” I guaranteed, placing my hand on his face and caressing his cheek. He leaned closer to my touch, seeming to relax. “I won’t leave. This is my home now. With Miss Peregrine, with the children and with you.”

Enoch took me by surprise when he kissed me again when I had barely finished my sentence. His kiss this time was stronger, more passionate. He pulled me even closer and I felt immersed in his perfume and his touch. One kiss became two, three, four and neither of us wanted to let the other go. Enoch lifted me up and my feet left the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist to keep from falling and he held my thighs. His touch on my skin, his hair under my fingers, his lips against mine. I could only think of that moment, right now and how happy I was. Enoch guided us to my bed and leaned over me when my back touched the mattress. He looked into my eyes, searching for confirmation, and I pulled him to kiss him again.

I don't need to say what happened that night.

            ~*~

        The next day I woke up with something soft against my cheeks. Despite the sleep, I managed to open my eyes and see the smile that Enoch was giving me. It was such a rare smile that I couldn't help but smile as well. Enoch leaned over again and placed a kiss on my lips. When he pulled away, I couldn't help but try to go after him to prolong our kiss. He laughed.

“I need to go back to my room, Y/N.” He said and I frowned. “Miss Peregrine will wake up in a few minutes and it won't be good if she finds me here and in the situation we are in.”

Last night's memories flooded my mind and I realised I was out of my pyjamas under the covers while he was already dressed again. I blushed, but I couldn't help smiling.

“Yeah, I don't think it would be a good idea.” That was all I managed to answer, still feeling the euphoria of happiness in my chest.

Enoch laughed again and placed another kiss on my lips, this time taking longer.

“Get changed and go downstairs, I'll meet you at breakfast. After that I want to take you on a walk.”

“Alright.”

He pulled away to leave, but I grabbed his arm and kissed him again, a little resistant to let him go. He smiled against my lips and dodged my arms. I laughed when he winked at me before closing the door. I laid down again and sighed. The smile didn't leave my lips and I started to doubt that it would fade at some point. I just wanted to stay in that bed, going over the memories. But following the logic that the faster I got up, the faster I would meet him, I got out of bed and put on one of the dresses Horace had made for me.

Before leaving, however, I decided that I would finish the letter I wrote to Grandma. Maybe I would even write another one. When I sat down at the table, however, I noticed something interesting. The letter was already finished, in a letter that wasn’t mine.

          Dear Eloise,

I heard about your situation and I hope you are well as far as possible. I know that I cannot erase the past as I so often found myself imagining. I also know that the hole you left in my chest when you left may never close properly again. But I found someone who makes me ignore it and makes me concentrate on the happy moments here in the loop instead of drowning in sad memories. For a long time I hated you for the way you broke my heart when I left, but I won't be sinking into that feeling anymore, because if you hadn't left, if you hadn't left me, I wouldn't have known the reason for my smile. If you hadn't gone, I never would have met Y/N.

I don't say that as if the time we both spent together was in vain, as if nothing had meant anything to me. But looking at Y/N now, sleeping in her bed with such a serene expression on her face, as I complete her letter, I realise that maybe I was wrong about the intensity of the love I felt back then. Y/N makes me happy, truly happy. She makes me light and euphoric, as if there is nothing in the world to worry about while she is beside me. I know I made her suffer during the year that she was here and seeing how she didn't give up for a moment made me fall in love with her even more. And it also made me realise that I couldn’t deprive myself (or even deprive her) of that happiness just because of my fear that she would also leave me.

So I end this letter (heartbroken after reading the first half) by making you a promise just as she had done: I promise that I will take care of Y/N. I promise that I will spend the rest of our lives making up for the pain I caused her in her first few months here. I love her and all I want is for her to be happy here, beside me.

Thank you for having a wonderful granddaughter and I thank you most of all for the opportunity to have her in my life.

Affectionately,

Enoch O'Connor

              I couldn't help the lonely tear that ran down my face when I read the letter, just as I couldn't help my lips parting in a smile. I felt like I was falling in love again and even more when reading Enoch's words. I folded the paper and placed it in an envelope that was next to the lamp. I checked that I was properly dressed and left the room with the envelope in hand. I would like to ask Miss Peregrine to send it as soon as possible.

During breakfast the children looked confused and skeptical with the looks that Enoch and I exchanged, while Miss Peregrine had a small smirk on her lips and Emma was barely trying to hide her smug expression. I didn’t care. I was too anxious to take the walk with Enoch and to spend the next few centuries with him.

Needless to say, Horace's vision of the two of us in the shadow of the tree happened just a few weeks later, right?

[themfchase]

endings & beginnings | jjk (m)

Jeon Jungkook x Reader

‒ ending and beginnings. (m) one-shot. ✎  [14k words]

genre: supernatural!au, childhood friends!au.

warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), slight dirty talk, slight choking, (jk has a massive dong), an absurd amount of scoffing and eye rolling, lowkey pining, angst, hhh angst again, mentions of blood, mentions of car accident, mentions of death and grief. physics or spiritual physics mean nothing here, don’t judge me.  After the sad passing of your grandmother, you take on the task to pack up her things so you can sell the house, but you’re interrupted by someone you haven’t seen in years, and oh, he’s hurt.  N/A: This is based on a movie plot, but I don’t wanna say the movie because I don’t want to give it away, but, I decided to write a little supernatural type au for the spooky season, and of course, I’m a lover of angst, so, I’m giving you all this. I really hope you like it, and if you do, please remember to press that heart and reblog button! It helps a lot. And please, never hesitate to send me messages! I really love receiving them!

Death.  It was truly a mysterious thing. The concept of death. Humans gave it a meaning, as if life was only but a preparation for what was to come in the afterlife. Heaven, Hell, Oblivion. It didn’t really matter to you. And no matter how many years you spent in Sunday school, learning about sin and how it was a currency that either allowed you to enter the peaceful realms of the afterlife or the eternal suffering of the underworld, it still meant nothing to you. But still, you prayed for forgiveness as a child, your grandmother right there beside you clutching her rosemary tightly in her fists with screwed shut eyes and mumbling apologies in hopes for redemption.  You wonder if she found what she was looking for, and it was almost a bittersweet thought as you looked down at her lifeless body, neatly resting in the casket. She looked peaceful, at least. Maybe that meant something. And even if death for some reason meant nothing to you, you still couldn’t hold back the quiet tears that rolled down your cheeks. This woman raised you. She raised you into the strong woman you were today. With your own business, no longer struggling to put food on the table, but now able to send her money every week, to give her the life she deserved. Because she was one hell of a woman, that you can say, from the years she raised you. Resilient, strong, and all by herself when your parents suffered a terrible fate in a car accident when you were only a toddler. Come to think of it, you were quite familiar with death. It had visited you one too many times.  Maybe that was why you didn’t care for it. For what was to come, because, in the end, death would be everyone’s end. And some may say it’s a sad life, to not really think there is anything at all once you die. That your brain simply shuts and then there is a lot of nothing.  No, you weren’t skeptical; you believed in... Something. Science, nature perhaps. You believed that it didn’t matter if our subconscious continued to echo through the air giving us a fake sense of the afterlife or if in fact; we were reborn in another life. Because death was death. And for you, and everyone else, it was inevitable. Just as inevitable as having to come back to this town, back down to the old farmhouse where you were raised, three hours from the city you lived in, to clean out your grandmother’s things. Ever since she was sent to the hospital, a buyer was interested in the large land, offering a good price on it once she passed. And people called you cold, that you’d even negotiate with a man while your grandmother was in her deathbed, but the reality was that you hadn’t been to this town in almost ten years, and you and the doctors knew she wasn’t going to make it.  You loved her, you truly did. You were grateful for everything she had done for you. But what were you supposed to do? Keep the house there, gathering dust while you went back to your penthouse in a busy city and forgot about it altogether? No, that wouldn’t be fair to your grandmother. If you weren’t going to take care of the house, you could at least put it to good use. And you thought about maybe renovating it, putting it on Airbnb for some backpackers that would eventually stop by the town. You were still pondering on that idea even while you drove into the driveway, coming from the small meek motel just three blocks from the funeral home where everyone mourned the town’s loss. And even looking at it as you parked, one single bagel from Cindy’s Diner hanging in your mouth and a cup of Iced coffee you had to explain to Cindy’s daughter how to make, it looked... Exactly as it did ten years ago when you left. Three floors, with hard oak walls and, resin painted wood on the outside, vines that crept upwards midway past the second floor, but never too close to the windows, a vast wooden front porch with two swings on each side of the door and the large tainted glass windows from the living room and kitchen, reminding you of the same ones you saw in Sunday school. It was almost a smaller wooden castle, too many bedrooms for just the two of you as you grew up, but enough that you became really good at hide and seek. It was still the same, and you sighed.  You had some amazing memories here, that was true. Bonfires with your grandmother as she told you scary stories, your neighbors coming down to play with the hose when it was really hot. You even remembered trying to build a treehouse with your grandma, but you never finished because rain season started. And the sky looked just like it looked right now, dark rumbling clouds closing in, nothing but the vast field behind the house and the faraway mountains on the horizon. Before the thick raindrops began its descent you rushed out of the car, chewing on the piece of bagel as you rushed to the back seat to grab your bags, deciding to leave the unfolded cardboard boxes there and maybe get them later once the rain calmed down. Rushing up the driveway with your large bag of clothes in your hand, the rain began to pour just a few feet away from the porch, and you let out a little shriek at the cold drops hitting your skin, making you run a little faster.  Finally, under the protection of the front porch, you dug into your pockets for the keys, rummaging through both front pockets and the single pack pocket. You were sure they were there, and you huffed in annoyance, a little wet already as you put two and two together and remembered the iced coffee in your cupholder and the keys right beside it. You grunted, throwing your head back and gazing towards your black car. The rain was pouring down hard and from what you remembered, chances were it wouldn’t stop soon, so placing your bag right beside the door you took in a deep breath and ran for your car as raindrops soaked right through your clothes. Opening the car door and quickly reaching for the keys, you made your way back to the porch now dripping wet from the unforgiving rain that had started. Finally opening the thick wooden door, it screeched open, showing that it hadn't been used in the six months that your grandmother made the hospital her permanent home. You shoved your bag in with your feet before finally closing the door behind you.  It was quiet. Well, other than the harsh rain that hit against the windows and wood, the house was dark and quiet, a little gruesome too. You rested your back against the door, head falling back as you took in a deep breath. You opened your eyes and let them roam through the house, the open kitchen, and the large living room. No television. Quickly taking out your phone, you huffed once again, no service either. You were thankful that you left your catering business in good hands with Jimin, your partner, back in town, so even without service, you knew there was really no good reason for him to reach out other than to chat.  Finally, pulling away from the door, you flick on the lights, the old yellow lamps flickering before it illuminated the space, and it suddenly felt normal again, just like it did when you were a kid. It almost felt like home. Sighing, you picked up your bag and placed it right beside the couch, walking towards the laundry room to retrieve a dry and clean towel you knew your grandmother always had in case she had any visitors and you began to dry your hair already walking back to the living room to open your bag for a fresh pair of clothes to change into. Maybe you’d take a shower before you made something to eat. The sun would be setting soon anyway, so there was really no point in starting to pack anything today and the rain really didn’t seem like it would stop anytime soon. If you remembered correctly, sometimes it rained like this for days on end, the roads rather dangerous, some even closing down. You remembered how on days like these, school was canceled, and you could stay home and play all day, have tea parties, bake and cook with your grandma. You smiled fondly at the memory as you found a white shirt and some sweat pants from your bag, and just as you were standing up to strip from your wet clothes, three loud knocks to the door startled you. With your heart now beating in your throat and a hand lifted to your chest, you looked at the door.  Who could it be?  Eyes moving to the clock just above the kitchen sink, it read seven pm. When did time pass so fast? You had just―  Three more loud knocks.  Blinking at the door, you finally decided to walk towards it, not even thinking before you unlocked and opened.  In reality, the town had always been safe, and maybe it was your big city fears creeping up on you but the sight of a wet man with his head down and hands resting on each side of the door had you startled, eyes bulging slightly as you couldn’t make out his face in the dark, your hand blindly reached out to the light switch beside the door, the one that turned on the porch lights and you flicked it on, the man lifting his face to you. Oh. He seemed familiar, and he was young, about your age. Black, wet shirt hugging his strong and muscular frame tightly, making your eyes move to the bulge of his biceps and veins that dripped with water, then your eyes moved to his strong shoulders and up to his thick neck before landing on his defined jaw that also dripped with water and blood― Wait, blood! “Oh my god, are you ok?!” You asked, one hand coming to cover your mouth in your loud surprised reaction as you noticed he had a small cut right above his thick eyebrow. He smiled, well, smirked almost as he let out an airy chuckle. And oof, if that wasn’t the most charming smile you have ever seen, despite the blood dripping down the side of his face.  “I, well��� I need some help, is your grandmother home?” He asked looking into the house, now standing fully, towering over you.  The mention of your grandmother had your mouth closing. Who was this guy and how did he know who lived here? And well, if he did, it was unfortunate that he didn’t know that she had passed the day before.  “I’m sorry, who are you?” You asked, and even if you tried not to sound condescending, you did, and he lifted the brow that wasn’t hurt.  “You seriously don’t recognize me, Y/N?” He asked and crossed his strong arms over his chest. He knew your name, and yeah, he did look familiar, but he seemed to remember you a lot better than you remembered him.  At your silence, he chuckled again.  “Jungkook.” He said, and the name had memories rushing back like a tidal wave. “We used to make mud pies together, I’m offended that you don’t remember, you ate them with vigor.” He joked, and you laughed, pursing your lips right after.  “Shit, I’m sorry, you look so...” Hot. “Different.” He smiled wide, now letting his hands down, moving into his front pockets. “So do you, it’s been what... Fifteen? Sixteen years?” He asked, and you nodded, crossed your arms, and resting your shoulder on the door frame.  In a perfect world, you would be able to gawk at his wet body without being caught, but in this world. He tilts his head to the side and flicks his tongue out once he notices your eyes roaming, giving you a quick once over himself.  “So uh... Is your grandmother home, I lost control of my car down on the secluded road somewhere...” He trailed off as if unable to remember exactly where. “...and it won’t start back up. I cut my eyebrow, I was wondering if she could take a look at it for me.” He took you out of your thoughts and you blinked a few times, leaning away from the door frame.  “Oh... My grandma... passed away yesterday.” Your voice was a lot lower than you expected and Jungkook’s eyes bulged slightly, lips parting as if he wanted to say something but he didn’t know what to say. “I uh, I’m here to pack her things.” You nibbled on your lower lip, nodding before you cleared your throat. “Would you like to come in, though? I can take a look at it for you.” You made way, and he just nodded, coming inside.  Closing the door behind you, you watched Jungkook take a few steps inside, his back to you as his eyes roamed the house. Memories of his own coming to play.  “You can take a seat at the kitchen table, I’ll get the first aid kit.” You said making your way to the cabinet under the kitchen sink.  You could barely hear him move, but once you grabbed the small white box, he was there seated quietly, looking at you.  How could you forget Jungkook, anyway? You spent most of your childhood with him, playing in the backyard, sometimes going to his house for sleepovers, even if it was far from the farmhouse. You both were inseparable before his parents divorced and his mother moved to the city, taking him along with her, and you never saw him again. Not until now.  As you took out the gauze, antiseptic, and some surgical tape you watched him look almost uncomfortable, looking around the empty house before looking at you.  You knew what he wanted to say, he had that look in his eyes, the “shit, you lost someone and I’m really uncomfortable because I have no idea what that’s like, but I still want to show you some sympathy” look, and you took in a deep breath.  “You don’t have to say it, you know, I heard it at least fifty times yesterday.” You spoke softly as you took one cotton ball and swiped gently at the cut.  “Say what?” He asked, looking up at you, not even flinching as you cleaned his wound.  “You know... I’m sorry for your loss and stuff.” You shrugged, taking another cotton ball and soaking it in antiseptic.  “Oh...” He said, one hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. “I am though... I loved your grandmother.” He sighed, and you smiled softly, looking at a now clean wound. It didn’t look deep, but you were no expert. It did seem as if he had bled a lot, so you decided to wrap it before it started to bleed again. “Well, thanks, everyone loved my grandma, she was amazing.” You said softly as you began to tape the gauze to his cut, never once did he complain of pain. With the close proximity and the uncomfortable silence, you cleared your throat. “So... Did you move back here?” You asked, and he shook his head.  “No... My father is getting too old to come down to the city now and then, so I decided to come here for a change, I’m only in town for a little while.” He answered, looking out the kitchen window to the rain still pouring out.  “How is life here, anyway? I haven’t been here since forever.” He shook his head as you slowly ― tried to ― tape the gauze in place.  “I wouldn’t know, haven’t been here for the last ten years. Left for college at 17, didn’t come back.” You shrugged, reaching for another piece of tape before leaning back into him.  “Where did you go?” He asked, and you leaned back, blinking at his question.  “Oh, you mean for school? McKenzie Brown.” You said and his eyes bulged.  “No fucking way. So did I! How did we not cross each other on campus?” He seemed excited, and it just showed his boyish ways, a contrast to the very manly muscles on his body and that smirk he had given you earlier. Chuckling, you were also surprised that you had both gone to the same college, but yet, never crossed paths. It wasn’t really that hard to believe, given the university you were accepted to was very, very big, with a lot of students and up to 100 per class.  “Guess life didn’t want us to.” You shrugged, and he shook his head.  “Fucking coincidence. I was kinda famous back in school.” He said, looking down at his lap and you lifted a brow, making him look up at you and chuckle. “All I’m saying is that I had some fun, had a reputation.” Your smile widened, and you squinted your eyes, even if you both haven’t seen each other in sixteen years, somehow it didn’t really feel like you were strangers.  “Are you telling me, that Jeon Jungkook, the cute, bunny teeth kid that made me mud pies and held my hand when we crossed the street, was a fuckboy?” You laughed as you finally finished wrapping him up. His mouth opened almost to protest, but instead of that, he shrugged, and a smirk spread on his lips.  “Who said anything about was?” A loud scoff left your lips as you rolled your eyes at him. Truly, it was hot. He was hot, that was undeniable. But to imagine this man that was here in your kitchen as a fuckboy was truly something you weren’t ready to let your mind wander off. Wonder off to how many people he’s slept with, how much experience he must have. You cleared your throat.  “All done.” Was all you said as you got up.  With his clothes still wet and yours too, you threw the soiled cotton balls away and directed him to the bathroom where he could wash the blood that had dripped down his face.  Once he made his way back, you stood by the door with the pair of fresh clothes in your hands, ready to bid him goodbye, but instead, he walked mid way and sat on the handrest of the couch.  “You said you were packing her things, why?” He crossed his arms again, your eyes shot to his very wet clothes against the couch and you blinked at his question.  “I’m selling the house.” You said and started making your way towards the door, still hearing the rain rumble aggressively outside.  “Wait, what? You can’t sell the house!” He stood up, a look of outrage in his eyes. You turned around and looked back at him with an incredulous look on your face.  “Excuse me?” You questioned, blinking in disbelief.  “You can’t sell the house! This house has... Has a shit ton of memories and it’s a place where you can raise your kids! You’re just going to sell it to some stranger who’s probably going to turn it into another cellphone tower?” He sounded annoyed, irritated even.  “This is my house, and if I want to sell it to someone who wants to turn it into a fucking strip club or whatever, I will.” You crossed your arms, and he furrowed his brows. Truly, you wouldn’t, not that you had anything against strip clubs, but you wouldn’t want your grandmother’s holy name to go to dust in a conservative town like this. “And if anything, this town could use a freaking cellphone tower, since there is no service here!” You shrugged as if it was obvious.  “Wow, didn’t take you for a heartless bitch.” Now that was the last straw. It was almost as if the funny, charming Jungkook from before had vanished in a blink of an eye and all you could see right now was a condescending, nosy ― but hot ― stranger making demands and offending you.  “Get out.” You said calmly, crossing your arms. Jungkook gave you a pointed look, a scoff leaving him.  “You’re going to kick me out in this rain?” He raised a brow.  “Well, you somehow made your way here in this rain, I’m sure you can make your way back.” Maybe you were a heartless bitch. And your ex-boyfriends might agree, but the truth was, you didn’t like anyone making decisions for you, if anything, you didn’t like men making decisions for you.  “Oh, don’t worry your spoiled little ass, I’ll leave in a second, just gotta remember where...” He began walking towards the door and stopped midway, his voice slurring. He stumbled a little, one hand moving up to the wrapped cut. “Remember where my... my car...” He shook his head, as if unable to see straight, and even if you were irritated, your mind and body quickly went into action, walking towards him to keep him steady.  “Jungkook?” You called softly, and he leaned against your hand, unfocused eyes looking for you.  He didn’t look good, the once white gauze now with a bright red spot where the blood seeped through.  “Hey, why don’t you sit down a little, you might have hit your head a little harder than you thought.” You continue to speak softly, slowly maneuvering him towards the couch. You sat him down with a thud, a huff leaving him as his head lolled in his hand. From the few medical documentaries you’ve watched in the past, you knew that if he had a concussion, sleeping right now wasn’t the best idea.  “I’m going to get you some dry clothes and make us some coffee, I think you better stay here tonight.” You look out the window, he surely wouldn’t have made it back to his car.  A minute ago you were ready to kick him out into the rain because of your irritation, now you would have regretted it if anything had happened to him, had you done so. Sighing, you quickly made your way to your grandmother’s closet where she still kept a few of your father’s clothes and you took a large shirt and some sweats, just like your own.  Making your way back down, Jungkook still sat there with his head between his hands. He looked up at you once you made your way to him and reached out for the clothes.  “Feeling a little better?” You asked, pursing your lips.  “Yeah, just... Dizzy.” He admitted, not looking at you. “I’m... Sorry. I’m sorry. That was way out of line.” He blurted out, looking up at you as he took in a deep breath.  You pondered on it for a few seconds, you both were friends once, even if you were children, he wasn’t a complete stranger and that meant that you still nurtured some type of fondness over him ― and no, it wasn’t only because he glowed up. “We’re cool. Just don’t call me a bitch again, or a brat, otherwise, I’ll probably give you another concussion” That made him chuckle, and you laughed back. “Anyway, get dressed, we’re going to end up sick if we stay in these clothes.” Jungkook nodded, immediately reaching for the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head, and you didn’t have time to turn around before his bare torso ― and abs― came into view.  Oh, he was truly a sight to see, wet locks falling down his face, damp, glowing skin in the dim yellow lights of the house, ripples of his abs and thin waist so well defined, if your mouth wasn’t agape before, it was now and you caught yourself, turning around to give him some privacy.  “Please, as if I didn’t catch you checking me out at the door.” He scoffed, you couldn’t see him, only hear the sound of ruffling clothes.  “I wasn’t checking you out!” You defended yourself, not looking at him and not sounding convincing at all.  “You were totally checking me out, I was checking you out too.” Yeah, you were checking him out, but him checking you out? That was new information.  Not that you weren’t worthy of being checked out, in fact, you were very confident in yourself, not because of your looks, but because you knew that success was written all over your face and that was enough reason for men to find you attractive.  “Figures.” You smirked, arms crossing over your chest.  Jungkook rolled his eyes, even though you couldn’t see it and you could hear him standing up, probably changing out of his wet pants.  You waited patiently, very tempted to peek, see what he was hiding behind those pants. You had noticed how firm and thick his thighs looked in those dark, wet pants.  “You can turn around now.” He informed, and you quickly turned, seeing him in the cozy clothes you had picked out. It wasn’t that you remembered because you didn’t, but seeing Jungkook in your father’s clothes made it all very... Domestic. You quickly swallowed as you looked him down and grinned.  “Ok, I’m... I’m going to go change and make us some coffee, don’t fall asleep.” You informed, and he sat back down, folding his wet clothes.  You were glad that there was at least coffee in the pantry, because food? Other than some crackers and powdered eggs, none of that. You made a mental note to go get some tomorrow if you were meant to spend the week here.  You picked up the two mugs and made your way to the living room where Jungkook sat quietly, looking around. Handing him his mug, he took it with a quiet “thank you” before you sat on the armchair right in front of him.  It was awkward now. Both of you quiet as you sipped on the hot coffee in your now dry clothes and looked around, it was uncomfortably quiet until― “I can’t believe you’re selling this house.” He shook his head and you rolled your eyes.  “Well, what do you expect me to do? It’s not like I live here, I haven’t lived here in ten years!” Jungkook sat closer to the edge of the couch.  “Maybe not now, but what about in, like, a couple of years when you get married and have kids, wouldn’t you want to settle down in a peaceful place like this?” He stated as if it was obvious.  “What makes you think I want kids? What makes you think I even want to get married?” You gave him a pointed look. And he was quiet, thinking for a while.  “Well, I assumed you were the type...” His voice was more hesitant.  “You assume a lot of things about me, apparently. Besides, if you’re so into the whole traditional family thing, why don’t you move back to town and all that jazz?” With that, Jungkook rested back against the couch, laughing bitterly and shaking his head.  “Me? No, no. I don’t believe in marriage.” It was your turn to scoff.  “And yet you were expecting me to believe in it?” You took a sip of your coffee. “No, I have no plans of getting married, my business is thriving and I’m making a shit load of money, I have no need for a man.” You looked down at your mug and Jungkook went quiet.  You flicked your gaze to him, confused at his silence, and you were met with an intense look right back at you.  “What?” You asked.  “Are you straight?” He asked, and you almost choked on your own spit.  “Why does it matter?!” You were appalled by his question.  “Well, are you attracted to men?” He continued.  “Yes!” You answered right back.  “So you don’t need men for anything?” He lifted a brow.  “I can’t seem to find your point here, Jungkook.” You argued.  “I’m saying if you’re attracted to men only, and I don’t want to assume, sexually speaking, you maybe can get by with a toy, maybe a very realistic dildo or a vibrator, but I take that it’s not like the real thing, so you’re not fully satisfied, therefore... You kinda do need men. Even if it’s just to get off.” He finished with the calmest expression ever and you were left with your eyes bulged and a slightly parted mouth.  You were speechless, not only because of how nonchalantly he said those things but because he had a point. Sure, you got yourself off pretty well here and there with toys, but a real, live human was irreplaceable to you. With your mouth opening and closing a few times, you blinked.  “If we’re talking about sex and sex only, then maybe, yes, I do need a man, but 90% of the time they don’t do it right anyway, so I rather resort to my toys. They’re also pretty quiet.” You rested your mug on the center table, lifting your legs and folding them besides you.  “You met the wrong kind of men.” He cockily says, and you notice then that he’s flirting. This was something you enjoyed. Flirting. You were pretty good at it too.  “And I assume you’re the right kind?” You teased back, and the lazy smirk that spread on him was devastatingly attractive.  “Would you like to find out?” He rests his mug right beside yours, sitting back again, and your eyes fell to the swell of his thighs. Surely they would feel delicious under your palms, or perhaps your heat, fuck, all of him would probably feel delicious, his large strong hands, his bulging muscles and you were pretty sure he wouldn’t disappoint in the downstairs department.  “I would like to know how you’re feeling.” You change the subject, watching him purse his lips and nod in understanding before he answers. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought about sleeping with him, in fact, you had since the moment you laid eyes on him. But he was hurt, maybe still a little confused, and you surely didn’t want to take advantage of that.  “Feeling better, yeah. I don’t think I can walk back to my car, though.” He admits, eyes falling to the window to see the rain still resilient outside.  “We have spare rooms, you can stay the night, and tomorrow we can find a way to call for a repair or something like that to get your car from wherever you left it.”  He nodded, getting up and picking up the mugs before making his way to the kitchen where he left them both in the sink.  You showed him the way to the guest bedrooms, making sure you left him in one that was close enough to your old bedroom in case he felt sick during the night, and you being a night owl, would make sure to check on him during the night.  You gave him a fresh change of sheets and a towel in case he wanted to shower and said goodnight before moving to your room. It had been a while since you stepped foot in there, and it was all still exactly the same.  Your dark purple walls with posters, the pictures of your friends from high school hanging on the vanity mirror, you smiled fondly at one of you and Jungkook, maybe you were ten, nine, you couldn’t remember, but his large bunny-like teeth peeked out, one single hole showcasing his loss of one tooth. You sat down on the bed with a huff, a picture from the vanity flying off with the wind it caused, and you reached down to the floor to pick it up.  It was one of you and your grandmother.  Her large smile, so bright and powerful as it always was, leaning down with white gloves as she planted a flower right in the front garden of the house. You were right there beside her, wide smile as well, just as happy, as thrilled as you both planted new flowers to adorn the house. The same was in the background, full of life and so many memories that you felt a light tug at your heart. Maybe Jungkook was right... Maybe selling a hose as memorable as this one was a heartless act. But you brushed that thought away, placing the picture on the vanity counter and getting ready for bed.  You were hyper-aware of the man in the other room, one that had insinuated that he wanted to sleep with you only but a few minutes ago, but not because of that. You were hyper-aware of him in the other room as you finally felt a hard sob rip through your throat. Crying everything you hadn’t cried in the last three days. You tried muffling your cry, but it was too painful to do so. You would miss her and you regretted not visiting. You regretted how annoyed you seemed when she showed up to your apartment unannounced with her bags saying she “missed you and was spending the weekend” detouring whatever stupid plan you had. You regretted so much, but now it was too late to regret anything at all. She was gone. You were completely alone in this world. No parents, no family at all, not even a cousin, a boyfriend. Not even a real friend.  You fell asleep with silent sobs that night, and unknown to you, a very wide awake and hazy Jungkook hearing every moment of it with a weird feeling in his chest and body.  It wasn’t only because you were crying.  But because he couldn’t remember.  He couldn’t remember anything about his accident or anything before he knocked on your door.  Pancakes. Or maybe waffles, perhaps eggs. Yes, eggs and bacon. That’s what you smelled. And coffee, fresh-brewed coffee.  Your eyes gently fluttered open, the soft light seeping through the curtains in the room quickly reminding you where you were, and yet the smell of breakfast was all you could think of.  You rubbed your eyes, slipping on your flip-flops before slowly making your way out of your room, you quickly passed the room Jungkook had slept in, looking in to see it was as if no one had slept there at all and as you made your way downstairs slowly, the smell intensified.  You went around the kitchen wall only to be met by a shirtless Jungkook, the shirt you had given him hanging on his shoulders as he whistled to a song on your grandmother’s old radio and stirred some eggs on the frying pan. The low slide of your flip-flops against the hardwood floor had him turning his head towards you.  “Good morning!” He beamed with a bright smile.  Your eyes moved to the kitchen table, eggs, bacon, coffee, and... Pancakes? You were confused, very confused.  “Someone’s not a morning person.” Jungkook chuckled as he turned off the oven and pushed more eggs onto a plate in the center of the kitchen table. “Come on, sit down, have some coffee so you can function like a normal human being.”  You didn’t know what was more startling, the sight of pancakes when you clearly saw there was no food or the sight of a shirtless Jungkook cooking you breakfast as if you two had just slept together the night before.  You didn’t say anything, still confused and drowsy with sleep as you sat down, eyes flicking to Jungkook as he put his shirt back on to sit right beside you and start pouring you a cup of coffee.  “I’m...” You began, watching him pour himself some before reaching for the really well-done pancakes. “How did you...” “The pancakes?” He asked, and you nodded. “They’re vegan. I found some flour that wasn’t expired in the cabinet and some vanilla extract, made them with water and some oatmeal powder, oh and sugar!” He shrugged. “I actually work with vegan and vegetarian food. Not that I am either of those myself, but there is a huge place in the market for it. I make easily affordable meals for people who don’t have time to cook for themselves.” You rubbed your eyes slowly, reaching for the coffee mug and bringing it to your lips, taking a large sip before you sighed.  “That’s pretty useful, I’ve lost some clients in the past because my menus don’t offer them Vegetarian or Vegan options.” Your raspy voice spoke out.  “Menus?” He asked, brows furrowing.  “Yeah... I have a catering business. Weddings, parties, companies, even movie productions.” You began to explain. “I started with culinary school, wanted to become a chef, I kind of did, but I didn’t want to work at a restaurant where you have these really straight forward menus, I wanted to do something different, even fun.” You reached for a single piece of bacon. “So, my menu also caters to children, we have gourmet corn dogs, sweet popcorn, some over the top hamburgers.” You smiled, bringing the food to your mouth and taking a bite of it.  “Just like your grandma, huh?” He said and your eyes moved to him.  You had never made that connection before. But now that he pointed it out, he was right.  You remember you and your grandmother cooking several fun meals all day. Baking cakes, pies, making savory snacks for when your friends came over. And your birthday parties always had a little something different, and it was all your grandmother’s doing.  “Yeah, I guess...” You chewed, reaching for the vegan pancake, not really trusting it would taste good with the ingredients he had mentioned.  But to your surprise, as soon as you cut a piece and put it in your mouth, the loud moan you let out would have been lewd if not for Jungkook’s loud chuckle as he watched you eat his cooking.  “What the fuck, this is delicious!” You almost screamed, digging in more.  “And it’s healthy too.” He lifted his cup.  “Fuck, fuck... So fucking good.” You continued the moans of gastronomical pleasure.  “Not going to lie, it’s kind of hot watching you lose your shit over my cooking.” He chuckled, and you gave him a pointed look, rolling your eyes before going back to the pancake.  “Jesus fuck, Jungkook, this is amazing, we should totally work together sometime, I have so many clients that would pay big fucking bucks for healthy, vegan meals like this.” You offered, already finishing the pancake.  “Yeah? I could use the cash, business is good but it could be better.” You smiled at him, still chewing, and just as you were about to speak the radio beamed with what you recognized as a hurricane alert.  “Seems like we have a hurricane heading towards the town in about one day or two, all main roads are closed for the time being, we advise everyone to stay in their homes, stock on food and water. Do not go outside under any circumstances, I repeat, do not go outside under any circumstances.“  You and Jungkook shared a concerned look, and he pursed his lips.  “I should probably find a way to get to town...” And just as he said that a bright flash of lighting had you bulging your eyes and a loud rumble of thunder shook the house, heavy, aggressive rain pouring outside in a matter of seconds.  Jungkook looked at you and you pursed your lips.  “Or maybe not.” You said right before the lights flickered and you heard the refrigerator turn off. “Great.” You chuckled and Jungkook shook his head.  “I’m really out of luck, I bet my car is already fucked by now.” He sighed, resting his head in his hands.  “If you have insurance your car will be fine.” You said standing up to test the lights before confirming the power was off and heading for the kitchen drawers, looking for candles.  “We don’t have any more food or water,” Jungkook interjected, watching you bring two packs of candles and leave them on the table. It was still pretty illuminated in the house, despite the dark clouds making it seem like the sun was already setting.  “I, well, we do, actually, my grandmother has a bunker I guess, she has a lot of canned foods and stuff like that, also a shit load of water, we should be good.” You informed, walking back to the table, noticing that Jungkook’s hair was wet.  “Did you take a shower?” You asked, and Jungkook furrowed his brows in confusion.  “Your hair is wet.” You said as you sat down.  His hand moves up to his hair, running his fingers through the damp locks.  “Oh... I guess they just take a long time to dry.” He shrugged, and you gave him a look of confusion before finishing your breakfast.  “You don’t mind me staying?” He asked after you both finished eating, you were at the sink, washing the dishes as he sat on the kitchen counter right beside you, watching.  “Honestly, what’s a couple more days gonna do. Besides, I would probably shit my pants if I had to go through a hurricane in the dark by myself.” Jungkook lifted his brow at that.  “So... Another thing you need a man for other than getting off?” He gave you a smug look.  You rolled your eyes at him, spraying some water onto him. “No! Company doesn’t necessarily require a man, Jungkook.” You answered, finally finishing the dishes, placing them to dry. “And you seem to be obsessed with the idea of me getting off.” You dried your hands and looked at him, leaning on your hands on the counter.  There it was. That lazy, charming smirk of his. One that honestly had your panties twisting.  “You want me to lie?” He cocked his head.  “You’re outrageous.” You chuckled, turning your back to him and taking a few steps before you were stopped by a cold hand on your upper arm.  It wasn’t a tight grip, if anything, it was a gentle one.  He was already on his feet, tugging you back to him, and the little huff you let out once your body fell flush against his had him smiling wider, your hands resting on his chest.  “You know what’s outrageous?” His hands slipped down your arms gently to rest on your hips, it was almost as if he was hesitant to touch you, waiting for consent, as his silky voice spoke, his back rested against the counter, legs slightly parted for you to slot yourself in the middle. “The fact that I know I can make you cum so hard and good that your legs stop working and you’re here pretending you don’t know.” That had a blush spreading on your cheeks, a loud swallow almost inaudible because of the hard rain hitting the window just behind him.  “How would I really know, though? You seem like a teller, not a shower.” You teased back, already feeling heat cripple down your body. You could feel his firm body against yours, even if you weren’t exactly pressed to him and his hands rested gently on your hips. You moved your gaze up. Even a little slouched down he towered over you, eyes glossy and full of intention, and that smirk. That freaking smirk.  His pink tongue came out to flicker over his bottom lip, your gaze following it before moving back to his dark eyes.  “May I?” His gaze moved to the hands on your hips and you blinked slowly up at him, nodding once.  What was once a hesitant touch to your hips became a hard, deliciously painful grip. Thumbs digging into the dip of your hip bone and pulling your hips into him, your middle gently rubbing against his. Your lips parted as you gently let your head fall back, giving him an opening even you weren’t aware of in your clouded judgement. And soon, lips were on the expanse of your neck. Soft, damp lips, grazing your skin and sending ripples of goosebumps down your body, eliciting soft whimpers from your parted lips.  “The things I’ll do to you...” He whispered against your skin, parting his lips to gently nip at the curve of your neck and jawline. It was as if you were entranced, truly. His body, words, touch was like a magnet to you, unable to even think properly as he littered his way up with gentle kisses, sucking softly at your skin once you whimpered at a rather sensitive spot.  “Jungkook...” You whimpered out and he rolled his hips into you at the sound of his name, clearly pleased with how it sounded coming from you.  Your arms quickly moved to wrap around his neck as he made his way up, more and more, lips tracing your jawline all the way to your chin before he hovered right against your lips, eyes almost shut as he looked at the ultimate surrendering look on your face.  Your eyes opened into slits, looking back at the intense gaze he was giving you, lips almost aching with the want to be kissed, you wanted to kiss him so bad, no... You needed to kiss him. It was almost as if you were desperate.  “Do you want me to kiss you, sweetheart?” His breath fanned against your lips, warm and smelling of coffee.  Just as you were about to answer, another bright flash of lightning blinded you for a second before the violent rumble of thunder shook the house.  You squealed, it was so close and Jungkook, despite his manly frame also had bulging eyes as he looked around, watching the lamps shake slightly.  “Shit, that was a close one.” He let out under his breath. You could feel something poking against the edge of your stomach and suddenly you didn’t feel in the mood to make out with him, but rather protect yourself.  “You think we should go to the bunker?” You asked, looking back at him with wide eyes and a slight pout on your lips.  He was so endeared. You looked just like you did when you were a child, scared of whatever it was, and he sighed, despite the arousal still very clear in his eyes.  “Yeah, we can go to the bunker. Can you grab some blankets and pillows? I’ll grab your bag and the candles.” He informed and you nodded, quickly making your way up the stairs.  The “bunker” was actually the basement, with concrete walls and with shelves filled with canned foods and gallons of water along with medicine. There were two sleeping bags, one that was meant for you and another that was meant for your grandmother, and as you laid them down, placing the pillows and blankets on them, Jungkook was strategically placing the candles around the room, using a lighter he found in a drawer to light them. When he was done, he went up the little stairs to close the door, the strong lock making a loud nose. He made his way back to the candlelit room, you were already seated, with crossed legs on one of the sleeping bags, eyes a little wide as you heard rumble after rumble of thunder.  “It’s really pouring out there.” He said as he sat down beside you, trying to ease you a little.  “I don’t remember going into this bunker since... I don’t even remember.” You admitted, taking in a deep breath. “It’s... Scary.”  “What is, the bunker?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. You pursed your lips.  “No... I guess... It’s scary not knowing what’s going to happen. We can be here and think we’re safe, but the whole house can fall on us and then poof... We’re gone. That’s scary.” You swallowed at the thought.  Jungkook nodded, understanding what you meant.  “I think... Death isn’t meant to be scary. It’s the not knowing that is scary.” He said, and you looked at him, watching him look ahead as if rearranging his thoughts. “Some believe in heaven and hell, others believe in reincarnation, I think it’s all in an effort to give them some peace, fear death a little less.” He nodded, and you brought your knees to your chest.  “What do you believe in?” You asked, resting your cheek on your knees, looking at him. He thought for a few seconds, nibbling on his lower lip.  “I don’t know. I want to believe that when we die... We go to a place where all our loved ones are waiting for us, where we find peace and we can choose to either live in peace or go back and do it all over again.” He looked at you. “But I can’t really believe in that when I’m just as terrified of dying as I am of being alive.” His brows furrowed and so did yours. “Like... What if I die alone? What if I die forgotten somewhere, in the cold, all by myself? What if I die knowing that I accomplished so many financial things in life but not... Emotional? No one to love, no one to be loved by. That terrifies me.”  “Not being loved?” You asked, and he shook his head.  “Dying as alone as I lived.” And that hit you like a ton of bricks.  You and Jungkook were so alike it was really frightening.  You were also alone, having conquered so many things in life. With your own business, money, success. But at the end of a busy day, you went home and you were alone. Alone with yourself and your silence. And you didn’t notice until now how lonely you were.  “At least here... If anything happens, I know I won’t die alone. I’ll die with my childhood best friend and honestly, someone I really want to get to know better.” He looked at you again with a smile and you never felt so comforted.  Your grandmother didn’t die alone. Even if you had spent most of your years away from her, even if you had only come back to this town to hold her hand one last time before she took her final breath. You were there, and so were her friends. She wasn’t alone. And even if you didn’t know what happened after, you’d like to believe that she was with your father and mother, hugging each other again, your grandmother filling them in on how well you had grown up. Smiling fondly back at him you both were quiet for a while, still hearing the thunder outside, but now it was less scary to you.  “I think we have some cards here somewhere.” You said standing up and rummaging through a drawer, Jungkook threw his head back with a grunt.  “Ugh, thank god, I was already starting to think we were going to die of boredom down here.” He chuckled, and you scoffed.  “Good to know my company bores you, Jungkook.” You found the pack of cards making your way back to the pile of blankets you had made.  “Please, you’re far from boring. If anything you’re really fucking interesting. Really proud of who you grew up to be, even if you can be a heartless bitch that wants to sell her childhood home so it can become a strip club.” He quirked a brow with a teasing grin and you slapped his arm.  “Oh, shut up. I’m not sure I’m going to sell the house anymore, I might have other plans.” You said without looking at him, taking the cards out. “Do you know how to play poker?” You asked flashing him a grin.  He raised a brow.  “Can we make it interesting?” And you squinted at him with his lazy smirk that made you tingle.  “Is it something kinky?” You asked with a tilt of your head.  “Definitely.” He winked, and you rolled your eyes before giving in.  “Fine, whatever, you pervert.”  If you had known Jungkook was this good at poker, you probably wouldn’t have agreed on making it strip poker, because now you were in your bra and panties, no socks on and he was only but socks and shirt down.  You want to blame your loss on his exposed chest, your eyes unable to focus on anything other than his ripped abs, but in reality, Jungkook was just really good at poker and his annoying cocky smirk and those strong arms draped over his legs only made you more annoyed ― and turned on. “Royal flush. Lose the bra.” He set his cards down giving you a very pointed look. Your mouth fell agape because you really weren’t expecting this at all. For a second, you thought about ending the game, but the way his eyes roamed down your half-naked body really made heatwaves rush down your spine. Placing your cards down, you let your tongue flick over your lower lip, his eyes didn’t miss that as he watched your hands move to your back to unclasp your bra. There was a look of anticipation in his eyes, glossy lids focused on your chest as you let the straps fall down your shoulders, your eyes focused on him before you slowly peel the undergarment off, exposing your perked nipples.  His jaw clenched at the sight of your exposed breasts, eyes moving all over to take them in, and there was a slow almost shaky exhale coming from him, making you pant slightly. The sexual tension in the air was as thick as the rumbling clouds in the sky. You were almost bare for him, and he loved that. Loved that he was getting the chance to see you, all for himself. You leaned back on your hands, your breasts arching forward, bouncing slightly and there was almost an animalistic growl bubbling in him.  “Take off your panties.” He breathed out, commanded, asked, you really didn’t care. There was no game anymore, that you knew for sure, and one single hand moved down to tug at the side of your underwear gently, pushing it down before you pushed the other side, sliding it down your legs. You let the fabric rest along with your bra, your heat still covered by your thighs before you bent your knees up to your chest, looking at him with lust-filled eyes. You loved the way he was looking at you, with so much want and so much desire it almost clogged your lungs. And he waited patiently, his own chest slightly heaving up and down before you slowly parted your legs for him to see all of you.  Fully bare and spread for him.  “Fuck.” He cursed out, and you knew that if he didn’t swallow thickly, his mouth would have pooled with drool. You could feel his heavy gaze fixed on your heat and you knew he could see it glisten as the candles flickered.  “Fuck, please, please can I touch you?” He breathed out, one hand already placed on the blankets in front of him, ready to crawl to you. The desperation in his voice almost made your hands falter.  “Yes, yes, do anything you want with me.” You spoke out just as breathless. And before you even had a chance to breathe back in, he was on you. Slotted right between your legs and hungry, desperate mouth on yours, you whimpered into his mouth, tongue flicking out to find his. He tasted so divine, so heavenly and you let yourself lay back on the blankets as he kissed you like it was the last time. Passionate, tender even, but messy and wet. He grunted against your lips as his hips rolled into your slit, you could feel the outline of his hardened length against your bare heat and your eyes rolled back at the delicious rub. Your hands moved to his hair, fingers tangling in between his locks. They were still wet. But you were less focused on that, and rather focused on his hot breath against your lips, sweet taste on your tongue, and the way his body rolled into you so expertly.  He pulled away only to latch them onto your neck, kissing and sucking harshly at your skin, probably leaving bruises in his path down your body. He didn’t relent when he met your breasts, sucking one perked nipple into his mouth with a deep vibrating groan that rippled down your body, sending shivers down your spine.  You arched into his mouth, whimpering softly as little shocks of pleasure shot straight to your core.  “Jungkook.” You whimpered out and his brows furrowed, hips rolling into you harder as he let your nipple go with a lewd pop.  “Fuck, I love it when you say my name like that, sounds so perfect.” He whispered against your skin, moving his lips down your middle, kissing just below your navel and you know where he’s headed, already parting your legs further for him.  “Good girl.” You barely catch the whispered praise, but as you do, you feel your cheeks blushing furiously, heart picking up in rate.  A loud moan rips right out of you, fingers gripping at the blankets once you feel his mouth wrap around your nub. He sucks it into his mouth softly, tongue swirling around and under it, making you choke out whimpers and moans at the intense pleasure. If anything, he seemed like a fucking pro, letting your nub free only to flatten his tongue, dipping the tip into your aching entrance before lapping up your slit to suck your clit right back into his mouth with a deep groan in his chest.  Your arousal was all over him, lips, chin, tongue. And you loved how messy it looked, how completely hungry he seemed to be buried in your cunt. The soft sucks to your clit became more frequent, tongue swirling it around inside his mouth and you let out a high pitched whimper, signaling he was at the perfect spot. Jungkook was a good listener, and he was adamant in making you cum, more than once. He sucked harder and harder, both hands moving to spread your legs wider, thumbs so close to the edges of your entrance as he spread it open, the ache becoming more unbearable as it stretched slightly. With just a few more sucks you let your head fall back and back arch off the blankets, legs shaking violently before a hard wave of pleasure washed down your body. Vision flashing white and extremities tingling, you couldn’t feel your legs. Your empty core clenched around nothing and he could feel it with the edge of his thumbs so close to your entrance.  He sucked softly again, riding your orgasm before he pulled away completely, only peppering small kisses over your swollen clit, watching you flinch slightly in overstimulation. You finally relaxed, back meeting the blankets once again and droopy eyes searching for him as you felt him crawl up over your body.  The lazy smirk accompanied by cum coated lips and chin was way more than you were prepared for and you whined at the sight, tilting your head up to capture his lips. He only chuckled, pulling away to tease you.  “You taste like fucking heaven.” He whispered, still pulling away every time you tried to catch his lips. “Would you like to taste yourself, sweetheart?” You nodded with a pout and he leaned in, tongue breaching your lips as he kissed you slowly, sensually, letting your cum coat your tongue as well, and you whimpered at your taste, making him pull away with a groan.  “Fuck, I want to taste you more, please?” He asked, brows furrowed and your hand moved down in between your bodies to cup his hard bulge. Palm rubbing at it back and forth. His eyes fluttered as he let his head fall at the delicious rub of your palm.  “I want your cock.” You whispered, and he took in a deep  breathe, exhaling shakily. “Please? Please, Jungkook, please?” You begged, breathy voice, a little hoarse from your loud moans, and who the fuck was he to deny you of anything at this point. He was completely under whatever spell you had on him.  He pushed his sweats down along with the black brief boxers he had under and his cock sprung up to hit against his stomach.  You were right. He surely didn’t disappoint in the downstairs department. If anything, he was impressive. Thick and long, large veins adorning his hard length, the tip glistening with pre-cum. He was massive. You even questioned if you could take him at all, and the slight doubt on your face had him chuckling.  “We’ll go slow, I promise.” He said in reassurance before he positioned himself at your entrance. He pushed slowly, and you felt your entrance stretch around him just as slow, the first inches were the hardest part, and once you felt that “pop” from his tip it was smooth sailing from there, your core stretching around his thick girth with a slight burn, he grunted as he slowly bottomed out, stilling as he panted, resting his forehead on yours, being careful not to press his wound onto you.  “Can I move, sweetheart?” He asked softly, clearly strained, his hands moving to find yours, interlocking his fingers with yours right beside your head. You nodded at him, feeling so full your eyes rolled to the back of your head. “Good girl.” He said a little louder this time, pulling out only to roll his hips into you with a breathless groan. The praise along with the thrust had your core clenching around him, making him hiss at the tight fit.  “Fuck, so good.” He breathed out, starting a slow, steady grind of his hips in and out of you, cock twitching so deep inside, you could feel him in your cervix.  “H-harder.” You whispered and Jungkook snapped his hips into you without warning, eliciting a loud, high-pitched moan from you.  “Like that, baby?” He questioned, moving his lips to the shell of your ear. You whined and he let out an airy chuckle, biting down on his lower lip as he pulled back only to snap them forward harder this time.  Your body bucked with each hard snap of his hips, his hands moving from yours to rest beside your head, hold himself up as the other moved to wrap gently around your neck, your entrance clenched harder at it.  “Oh, what a surprise.” He breathlessly teased. “The heartless bitch likes to be fucked like a whore.” And you wish you were mad at it, but truly, you did. You liked it rough and dirty just as much as you liked it slow and passionate.  “Good thing I’m a pro at it.” He gave you that cocky smirk before he started a relentless pace into you, hips snapping so hard your breasts bounced with each powerful thrust, feeling him hit deep into your core over and over.  “Such a sweet girl...” He spoke as he fucked you, grip tightening around your throat. “Making mud pies, playing hide and seek and getting fucked by her childhood friend in the basement of her childhood home, full fucking circle.” He snapped them hard with a grunt, making you reach out to latch your nails to his shoulders.  “That’s it, baby, feel my cock deep inside of you, feel it drag in and out of that sweet, tight cunt. Feel every ridge, every vein, make yourself cum all over it like you do with those pathetic toys.” He growled out. You already expected Jungkook to be a dirty talker, you just didn’t expect him to be this fucking good at it. “Just like that, yeah? Fuck, if it were for me you’d never use a fucking toy again, only my cock, I’d fill you up every fucking second of the day, creaming this tight pussy over and over as if it was made for me.” You clenched tight as his grip tightened, feeling your second high already creeping in on you. God, he was so good. “Fuck, scratch that, this little pussy was made for me, you’re all mine, all fucking mine.” He closed his eyes, getting lost in the sensations of your tight, hot walls hugging his length, deliciously rubbing against his cock as he fucked into you again and again.  “Say it.” His strained out breathy voice blurted out, and you didn’t need him to explain to know.  “I-I’m y-yours, Jungkook, all y-yours.” You were sure you had broken skin by now, your nail digging and scratching as you felt your high approach you at an unforgiving speed.  “That’s a good fucking girl.” And there it was, the praise again. And that alone seemed to send your high ripping through your body aggressively. Choked out sobs and shaking body making you unable to think and even Jungkook was surprised when you came, holding you in place as you let it wash over you, blinding your vision and making the slide of his cock even more smooth. The choked out broken whimpers and moans were music to his ears as he felt you clench over and over around his length, his brows furrowing as he concentrated on the feeling while helping you ride your second high. He slowed his unforgiving pace back down to a slow grind of his cock, the hand around your throat moving to interlock your fingers again as the other one gently soothed you, clearing the wild locks away from your face, he shushed your quiet sobs as he leaned down to kiss the tears― even you didn’t know you let fall down ― away. It was so tender, so gentle, you weren’t used to that from someone that was only but a one time lover.  But was Jungkook only but a lover?  He was your childhood friend. And sure, it had been a long time since you had seen him, and to some people that would make you strangers, but you weren’t strangers, in fact, you knew each other very well. He knew that you chewed on your lower lip when you were nervous. You knew that his eyes went wide and dear-like when he was surprised. He knew that you hated storms and the rain. And you knew that he had always protected you since you were kids.  His brows were furrowed as he rested his forehead against yours again, you could tell he was close, could tell he was only savoring the pleasure as his lips parted to let out a low, deep whimper of his own.  His eyes opened to look straight at you, it was so personal. So intimate. And right when he was there at the edge, he leaned down to capture your lips in a messy, uncoordinated kiss as you felt his cock twitching inside of you, spilling his hot cum deep within. His breath was so harsh an aggressive coming from of his nose and he couldn’t kiss you for long as groan after groan left him and he came. Fuck, he was even hotter when he came. You were doomed.  It took him a few minutes before he finally stopped. Breathing harshly before he rolled off of you, laying beside you.  You both went quiet for a few minutes, only catching your breaths before he turned his head to you, a lazy smile spread on it.  “Told you so.” He let out a cocky smirk.  “You’re outrageous.” You scoffed at him and he reached out, pulling you flush against his side. You rested your head on his damp chest, both of you flushed and fucked out. There was a quiet moment where you both just looked at it each other, it was as if time stops, as if everything made sense right there, right at that moment. It felt like home. He felt like home. Just like this house. Peaceful. And if death was anything like this, you’d gladly die.  “I know this is really weird... But I really feel like telling you I love you right now.” He admitted with a loud swallow, Adam’s apple bopping. Your heart did something you weren’t aware it could do. “Maybe it’s the after-sex haze, but I really feel like saying it back.” You said too, cheeks blushing slightly at your admittance.  “I love you.” He whispered out. And you were surprised by how it didn't feel weird, by how it didn’t sound foreign. It was as if you heard it a thousand times before, but also as if it were the first time and truly, it was. But it felt... Real.  “I love you.” You said it back and his lips spread into a wide smile.  Maybe he felt it too, felt how familiar it sounded, how... Fitting it was.  And maybe it wasn’t love at all, maybe it was just the afterglow of sex and that was ok, you’d both deal with it later. Right now you just wanted to bask in this feeling, nothing outside really mattered. Not even the rumbling of the thunder still roaring in the sky.  “God, I suddenly feel really fucking tired.” He huffed out, and you chuckled.  “You can sleep if you want.” You said but Jungkook’s brows furrowed, his once damp skin suddenly turned ice cold against you and you gasped.  “Jungkook?” You called, but he still had his brows furrowed, his lips suddenly changing shades. You sat up, looking down at his naked body, he was shaking, trembling so violently it felt like he was possessed. His skin had turned pale even under the yellow glow of the candles. And you watched the gauze on his head turn crimson red, taking over the whole thing.  “Jungkook!” You called louder, but the boy only moaned as if in pain.  Reaching out for the gauze, your fingers brush his hair.  They were soaked, dripping onto the blankets as if he was right under pouring water. Your eyes bulged, so confused at what was happening.  “Y-Y/N?” He called out your name and your trembling hands cupped his ice-cold face.  “Jungkook? I’m here, I’m right here, tell me what’s happening!” You desperately asked.  His eyes opened slightly, and you felt like you were breaking into a million pieces at the pure sadness in them.  “Please... Find me. I don’t want to die alone.” He whispered out, and you were even more confused at his statement. Desperately trying to understand but not wanting to stay still, turning your back to him, you hurridly got dressed, looking through the drawers desperatly for something to clean his wound, and just as you turned back to him there was no one there. Your eyes bulged, your heart racing.  What was happening? What was going on? You looked at the door, it was still sealed shut, there was no way he could have gotten up and opened it in the state he was. There was no way you wouldn’t have heard him! “Jungkook?!” You called for him as you made your way up the stairs and out of the basement.  You roamed the house, desperation laced in your voice, on your face in the tears that― unknown to you ― streamed down your face.  You looked for his clothes that you put to dry in the laundry, there was nothing there. But the food was there, you ran to the mirror and his marks were there.  Please... Find me. I don’t want to die alone. That was what he had said.  And even if nothing made sense right now, even if reason and logic weren’t on your side, your brain worked at full capacity, head aching, throbbing, knees falling to the floor as your hands came in between your hair. You wanted to scream. What was happening, what was happening, what did he mean?  I lost control of my car down on the secluded road somewhere...  Your eyes bulged at the memory, maybe... Just maybe that’s where Jungkook was. Maybe he had gone back for his car, maybe... Just maybe you weren’t going insane.  The storm roared outside, the hurricane now at its peak, but something inside you roared louder, no matter how crazy you felt.  You didn’t even bother to put on your shoes, grabbing your car keys and going out in the absolute havoc of a storm, soaking wet and shivering cold you got in your car with a struggle as the wind was strong against you. Turning the engine on, it took a few turns and a few punches to your wheel for it to finally come to life.  You were a good driver, but in these conditions, even the most skilled driver could die. You didn’t care, something deep inside of you screamed that you were running out of time.  You drove in the pouring rain and wild aggressive wind unable to properly see as you sobbed uncontrollably trying to remember where the secluded road was. It was a shortcut people always took when they wanted to get from the farms back to town quicker instead of taking the highway. It was also up a mountain with a lot of trees. Bumpy roads and slippery, muddy tracks. You drove regardless, making your way up the mountain road, mud making your tires turn falsely here and there, but you relented, and you drove, cursing out loudly.  “Where the fuck are you?!” You screamed before you saw on the horizon a black car, clumped down the hill a little, the front smashed straight into a tree, you drove until you were close enough, sprinting out of your car as you ran to his.  “Jungkook!” You screamed as you reached the driver’s door. The windows were shattered, rain falling into the car and there he was, unconscious, the cut still very much there, unattended in the same clothes you had met him in. You tried opening the door, but it seemed jammed. And you screamed in frustration as you hit the car a few times before trying again, pulling as hard as you could, kicking the sides to try to make it budge.  Your free hand moved to grip at the edge of the shattered window, broken glass digging into your flesh, but you were filled with adrenaline and dread, pure dread.  Jungkook was dying.  You gave all you had until you finally felt the door budge, swinging open and almost throwing you back. You stumbled in the hard rain, the wind blowing so hard against you, you felt like you could fly away as you reached into the car, undoing his seat belt before wrapping your arms around his middle.  You were small compared to Jungkook. And even if now you were questioning if anything that had happened in the last day was real or just some sort of feverish dream, you knew he was heavy, you pulled him out of the car with a lot of effort, grunting as he flopped down on the muddy floor.  You leaned over him, seeing his lips blue, his cut still very much bleeding. Your shaking hands reached for his pressure point, searching for a pulse and you concentrated, feeling it so faint against your fingers. He didn’t have much time.  You dragged him to your car, slipping as you used all your force to get him there, but somehow you did, somehow you were able to open your back seat and push him inside. You didn’t even know you had it in you.  And fuck did you drive. You drove fast, knowing it took at least ten to twenty minutes from the secluded road to the town hospital, and in this weather, it was harder to drive up the mountain, but you did, you drove fast and relentless and once you made it to the hospital it all happened too fast.  The nurses and doctors rushing to pull Jungkook out of the car, lay him on the stretcher. Your bloody hand wiping your hair out of your face as you followed them in.  But you couldn’t hear anything. You couldn’t hear the questions, you couldn’t hear the shouts.  All you could see was Jungkooks’ almost lifeless body, so pale and fragile. Fuck... You... You kissed him. You touched him, didn’t you? You... You said you loved him.  Was it your imagination? How... How would you imagine this, how would you imagine where he was, that he was hurt? It didn’t make sense to you.   “Miss! How long has he been unconscious?!” The nurse yelled, taking you out of your racing thoughts.  “Since... Around seven pm yesterday.” You mumbled out, still walking with them, watching them put wires, tubes, oxygen on him. That’s all you could really think, that Jungkook was never really there, that he had been unconscious in his car since the moment he knocked on your door.  “Are you his wife, family?” She asked, and you shook your head.  “I’m... I’m his childhood friend.” You almost couldn’t speak.  “I’m going to have someone take a look at your hand, you’re going to have to stay here.”  And just like that, he was gone. Past the double doors.  You waited.  Even after someone had come and sutured your hand, you waited, soaked, cold. You waited, even after you saw Jungkook’s father storm in between the hospital doors. Even after he had spoken to you, thanked you for saving his son after all these years.  You waited until the storm was gone, nothing but a light breeze and scattered leaves outside on the wet asphalt. You waited until he woke up and the nurse had told you he didn’t remember you.  You waited until his father said that he didn’t feel comfortable having someone he hadn’t seen in sixteen years wait for him at the hospital. He didn’t remember.  Of course, he didn’t remember.  Jungkook was stuck unconscious in a car for 24 hours and you? You were visited by someone, something urging you to save his life. And you didn’t really spend any more time wondering if it was really him, perhaps his spirit, perhaps his consciousness. You didn’t even waste your time wondering why you. Wondering why put you through something so painful, no matter what it was. In the end, it didn’t matter. What mattered was that Jungkook was safe, alive. And whatever supernatural thing had happened that allowed you to save him... You were thankful.  Two weeks had gone by since everything. The house extremely quiet as you packed your grandmother’s things slowly, not one drop of rain to keep you from doing anything at all. In the end, you had moved all of her things to the attic, deciding to maybe spend some time here, take a break from work. You didn’t allow yourself to think about Jungkook or try to explain what had happened. You had spent the first few nights crying yourself to sleep as nothing made sense, but the excruciating pain still haunted you. It hurt that he didn’t remember.  Sighing as you looked at the rough drawing of the renovations you wanted to make to the house in front of you, you reached for your mug of coffee. The afternoon sun coming through the windows and making the whole place seem cozy.  You were also baking some cookies, deciding to keep the house as you remembered it. Something always in the oven. And you had tried a new recipe, vegan. Testing out to see if they worked, if they would taste as good as... You brushed the thought away, focusing on the paper in front of you.  It was three loud knocks that brought you out of your thought. You wondered if it were perhaps a neighbor, or maybe even the delivery boy coming to bring you the groceries you had called earlier for. But you gasped once you opened the door. “Jungkook.” You whispered out, surprise and dread written all over your face.  He looked just a good as he did that day. The cut on his head now almost healed completely.  “Uh, hey. Y/N, right?” He sounded shy, hesitant. One hand coming to rub the back of his neck.  But the way he had said it only made your heart break, he really didn’t remember. “I was heading back to town, but... My dad told me that you were the one that saved my life so... I wanted to stop by to thank you, I guess. This is really awkward for me.” He nervously said. “Y-you’re Y/N, right?” “You seriously don’t recognize me, Jungkook?” You swallowed the lump in your throat, repeating the same words he had said to you that day.  “I’m sorry, it’s... It’s been a really long time. You look really different.” He pursed his lips.  “Y-yeah, that’s me... And... There r-really is no need to thank me. I’m glad you’re s-safe and ok.” You swallowed harder, nodding at him. Jungkook swallowed before he took in a deep breath, brows furrowing right after as his nostrils flared.  “Are you baking cookies?” He smiled, hands coming into his pockets. He was more relaxed now it seemed.  You pursed your lips, a soft smile spreading on them.  “Would you like to come in and try them? They’re vegan.”  The end.  N/a: Now that you read it, yes, it’s based of Charlie St. Cloud. I freaking LOVE that movie. I hope you enjoyed this fic! <3

[frostedfaves]

I Don’t Feel Alive (1)

Masterlist

Pairings: Jake Peralta x sister!reader (platonic), Rosa Diaz x fem!reader (romantic), Jake Peralta x Amy Santiago (also romantic)

Summary: Jake has always loved and adored his sister more than anyone else in the world. You’re the first person he runs to with good and bad news, which is why it breaks his heart that he has to find out on his own that you’re struggling with addiction. Inspired by this blurb, and Luke and Nell from The Haunting of Hill House!

Warnings: mentions of abusive foster parents and physical abuse

A/N: decided to post this a day early because in all honesty, I’ve waited far too long to start this series already. anyway, excited to hear everyone’s thoughts on this! 

-

One thing Jake never expected to receive was a younger sibling. With his parents constantly fighting and his father spending less and less time at home, he assumed he’d be the only Peralta child for a long time, possibly forever. Then you came along.

Karen Peralta was just Mrs. Peralta when you met her, and she was the art teacher. You liked her, part of the reason being that she complimented your painted butterflies and trees often. The words “talented” and “advanced for your age” were thrown around a lot, especially when it was uncommon for a four-year-old to grasp the concept of coloring inside the lines (or at the very least inside the borders of the paper).

You felt yourself beginning to latch onto her a bit. Staying a little later in her class because hers was the last of the day, and the bell meant you had to go home to a horrid family. Your birth parents were removed early on in your life due to some kind of trouble that no one would explain to you. Part of you missed them, because at least they were nicer than the next set of adults you were placed with. 

You were a quiet and well-behaved child, an act you learned in your foster parents’ home because anything else earned a physical punishment. Therefore it wasn’t met with much pushback when you arrived at school one Friday with cartoon themed sunglasses covering part of your face. One teacher tried to take them away from you and immediately quit when she was met with screaming.

When you entered Mrs. Peralta’s class, it was different. She greeted you with a compliment, but her concerned gaze lingered on your profile as you walked by. Class went normally until the bell rang, and she waited until the students filed out to approach you at your desk, where you were packing your things as slowly as possible.

“I had fun today, Mrs. Peralta!” you told her with a big smile as she sat next to you.

“I’m glad to hear that. Although it wasn’t as fun to me, not being able to see your whole face.” She paused, watching you begin to squirm in your seat as your expression of joy faded. “Do you mind taking your glasses off for me?”

The room fell silent as both of you held eye contact, only broken by the heartbroken sigh from Mrs. Peralta after you slid the sunglasses away from your face. Just under your right eye was a small purple patch.

“Who did this to you, honey?”

A whimper fell from your lips, your grip tightening on the object in your hands. Your foster father told you not to take them off at school and you did anyway, so you were sure to get in even more trouble when you got home. 

“I can’t say! He won’t like it.”

“Do you mean your dad, honey?” The teacher carefully questioned, and you slammed your tiny fist on the table as tears began to stream.

“He’s not my dad! She’s not my mom!” 

Other incoherent words began to pour out of you in the form of loud sobs, and Mrs. Peralta pulled you into her arms as you became nearly inconsolable. She gave you some time to let everything out, waiting until you were quietly hiccupping in her lap to wipe away your tears. She whispered some encouraging words as she helped you clean up the rest of your things, and you slid your glasses back on while you patiently waited for her to make some phone calls.

-

Within a couple hours, your few belongings from your foster home were packed and placed in Mrs. Peralta’s trunk by your social worker, who explained and promised that you weren’t going back to your foster parents. Instead, you were going to live with Mrs. Peralta (or Karen, as you were allowed to call her outside of school), her husband Roger, and their little boy Jacob. 

You held Karen’s hand tightly as she led you to an apartment door, squeezing a little harder when it opened and there was a boy a little taller than you on the other side.

“Hi, Mommy! Who’s this?” he asked as his attention turned to you, noticing the way you hid behind his mother.

“Jake, this is Y/N. She’s going to be coming home with us, and I’ll tell you more later. Why don’t you introduce yourself while I talk to your grandma, okay?” 

Karen gently nudged you toward him as she let go of your hand, and you followed him over to another little girl around the same age.

“Who’s this, JJ?”

“I’m Y/N,” you offered quietly, occasionally glancing at your shoes.

“Mommy says she’s coming home with us. This is my best friend, Gina,” he tells you with a grin.

“The one and only.” Gina offers you a grin of her own as she quickly shakes your hand. “I wish my mom would bring me a little sister.”

“I’m not his sister,” you spoke a little louder and Jake turned to you with a frown.

“Why are you gonna live with us then?”

“So I don’t have to go back to the bad people.”

Jake didn’t quite understand it, but he felt a bit of sadness settle into his heart for you. He started to feel a little guilty for those times he complained to Gina about his father missing dinner and bedtime a few times a week, now that he’d had his first realization that some kids didn’t even have parents to go home to.

“You’ll be safe at our house. My mom is really great and my dad isn’t always home but he’s nice, too. And I’m really good at fighting bad guys.”

Karen caught Jake’s words as she approached the three of you and couldn’t help but smile at the way her son seemed to care for you already. It only strengthened her belief that she’d made the right decision.

-

Tags: @halfofwhatisayismeaningless @xetherealbeautyx @gaulty74 @ochrythum @makapaka11 @marie-03 @creepingwolfberry

[prodtrouver]

𝐏 𝐇 𝐀 𝐍 𝐓 𝐀 𝐒 𝐓 𝐄 𝐒

᯽ Fairytales are always said to be all happy and lovely. With fairies, dragons, queens, kings, princesses, princes, and many more to bring their magical world to life, however, it's never really like that.

Although these original ones were overshadowed by the retold ones, there are still many who reads the original ones. They're even making videos, theories, and much more about them.

It was hoping to be read and finish the unfinished fairytales written in the book full of retold tales.

Pairing: Choi Soobin x fem!reader

Genre: fairytales, fluff, angst, fairies, fantasy au

TW: mentions of death, blood, torture, sharp objects, mausoleums,

Word count: 10,567

Based on the fairytale by George MacDonald, PHANTASTES

Fairytales are always said to be all happy and lovely. With fairies, dragons, queens, kings, princesses, princes, and many more to bring their magical world to life, however, it's never really like that.

Those happy and lovely fairytales everyone kept on hearing were all retold tales. The original ones always have that sad, furious, or scary part. No one just wanted to believe them because they all want a happily ever after.

Although these original ones were overshadowed by the retold ones, there are still many who reads the original ones. They're even making videos, theories, and much more about them.

One mysterious book, one secret, full of retold fairytales. Plot twists were made yet, the book remained unfinished. It was currently in the hands of the author's great-granddaughter.

Although, it was tucked away deep in his chest of his valuables. Dust covers the exterior of the book, just resting at the very bottom, ready to be found, cleaned, and read.

It was hoping to be read and finish the unfinished fairytales written in the book full of retold tales.

You walk down the flight of stairs, a basket full of fruits in your right hand whilst your other hand has a tray resting on your palm. You put the tray on the table before you put down the basket as well.

Afterward, you grab the towel that was hanging on the chair before you wipe the sweat forming on your forehead. You gently place the fruits on the sink and hear the loud and cheerful voices of your dear brothers.

"I'm coming to get you! Better run away, Luca!" Your brother says, picking up the boy who is smaller than both of you, perks of being an 8-year-old.

Your youngest brother laughs, swinging his arms in the air as he shouts to put him down.

"Okay, little bud! Help mom with dirty clothes. We'll wait for you before we cook." He pats his head. Their younger brother nods as he runs out of the house to call their mother. Meanwhile, he walks to your side as he helps you wash the fruits.

"I overheard mom's conversation with grandma this morning. They want you to finish something that belonged to our great grandfather." He says as he takes the washed fruits and the cutting board on the side. You look at your brother, Felix Lee, as he takes the knife out from its sheath. He places the washed apple on the wooden cutting board before he cuts the apple into half, then into quarters.

"They said it's in the chest in the attic. You know great grandfather's chest of valuables, right?" Felix asks, grabbing another apple to slice it into quarters.

"Yes, I know the chest, but what do they want me to finish?"

"I'm not sure which one, but they said it's a book. It's different from the others because it's the only one with a title... At least, that's what they said." Felix specified, you finished washing the fruits and put them on the side for Felix to slice.

"I'll go check it out. You can tell mom and Luca to cook without me. Don't mess the kitchen now and don't cut yourself either like last time." You say sternly, ruffling the hair of her brother.

Felix could only roll his eyes as he watches his sister go upstairs to the attic. You open the door of the cold attic, your chocolate brown eyes immediately land on the baggage stacked on the side.

Dust was mostly everywhere, ready to give someone a cough. You made your way to where the chests are, old and new ones. You shoved the ones that were covering the old chests.

Specks of dust suddenly get everywhere. "I need to wash after this." You let out a heavy sigh and open the chest that has the label of your great grandfather.

It was half-empty, almost every object in the chest was visible. Books were stacked on one side, alongside with notebooks and sketchpads beside it. Paint, paintbrushes, and other things for art on the other side. In the middle were the things he used for writing.

It made you think of all the things your father has told you and your brothers. How much your creative great grandfather loved art and wrote whatever he wanted. It was an opportunity for him to explore what he wasn't able to explore.

You look for the said book, the only book with a title. After you lift the pile of books, notebooks, and sketchpads, in hopes to find the titled book, and you finally did. The book had a red hardbound cover; the title was on the bottom of the cover.

You wipe away the dust from the book and blow away the remaining dust. You then close the chest, returning the objects you moved to get to the things of your great grandfather. Soon enough, you left the attic with the book in your grasps.

You enter your room and close the door. You changed your dirty clothes into cleaner ones, ones that you actually feel clean to wear.

You sat down on your wooden chair and took out a wet cloth to wipe the dirty red hardbound cover.

You could read the title now, Book of Retold Fairytales, it said. You flip through the pages, unbothered to read the book just yet.

You stopped your actions, however; you noticed a plentiful of empty pages between each story. It was as if it wasn't finished then you realized: that's what they want you to do.

The completion task is yours, but you felt scammed. You aren't good at writing stories or essays at all. Your great grandfather could write these stories, how could you, a person who doesn't write, end it?

Well, there is an answer to that. An answer that your great grandfather has always waited for. An answer that always helped him with his imagination and concentration, and that is to do it.

Go to the destination, do the actions, complete the story, that's all. The question is, how can one do it? Another simple answer! Get dragged into it.

You let out a heavy sigh and flip back through the cover page. How would you get dragged into the story? You don't even believe in those things! You read the very first fairytale you saw, and it's titled 'Phantastes'.

You tilt your head to the side, just remembering that the tales written here are retold in the words of your grandfather.

After reading the first page of the tale and was about to flip the next until your arm was being wrapped with mysterious yet sparkly yellow dust.

You dust it off and found out that it was hard to get it off. Soon, it engulfed your entire body, and you ended up in a completely different world.

You were confused, scared as well to where you are. You were stuck in a weird place, almost as it was a room full of unknown technology. You faced in front of you, a circular platform made from Silver, Concrete, and Marble.

Outline the circle. There were chairs made of concrete and marble. The gray concrete was painted white to make it more appealing to the eye.

You were hesitant, but you slowly made your way to the raised platform. Instantly, you flinched when a small concrete pillar came out from the ground.

There you see a card, a holographic card with a silver lining. You inspected, 'Phantastes' was written on both of its side. You slowly take the card from its pillar, only to find yourself in a bedroom, except it's not your bedroom.

You jumped when a paper appeared in front of you. You caught the falling paper and mumbled for an explanation instead. You sigh, ready to throw the blank piece of paper away until it started glowing.

You stared at it; something was being written, word by word, and you weren't the one writing.

You sat on the bed of the enormous bedroom. The bedroom looked nothing like yours back home. Instead, it seems like those bedrooms in Victorian mansions of wealthy people.

The paper in your hand then withers away into nothing but dust.

"I wasn't even able to read that," you stand up from the bed. You examined the bedroom until you sat in front of a mirror.

Even your clothes are different, and just like the bedroom, it looks nothing like yours.

You had a white blouse with long sleeves with added cuffed sleeves at the end to look clean. The skirt was a blue plaided skirt that stopped when it touched the ground. You slightly lift the dress and saw a glimpse of your black doll shoes. Your hair was styled beautifully, so beautiful you don't want to let your hair down.

Suddenly, you hear a tinkling sound from the desk beside the bed. You turn around to see a small creature standing there.

You slowly and carefully walk towards the little creature, and with every step you took, the tiny creature takes the form of a human, but there's something else. It had wings.

The insignificant creature flew and stared at you, but soon, it broke the eye contact, for it turned its head to the side. Your eyes followed the fairy but stood frozen when the bedroom changed.

Tall trees, bushes, flowers, and grass appear. Suddenly, you got the urge and courage to go to the wondrous sight in front of you.

"This is Fairyland, a land full of magic and spirits." The fairy spoke, and this surprised you.

You were already in front of Fairyland that the fairy had shown. Could it be the way for you to go back to your home?

"What do I have to do to come back home?" You spoke to the fairy who looked scared, maybe worse; terrified and traumatized.

"The boy who lived in this mansion has gone there and lost his path. I never saw him again, but he is alive. Find him, and you will return to your home," the fairy said.

You turned your head to look at the forest. Now, you knew why it showed Fairyland to you. When you faced the woods again, it looked darker and gloomier.

You have no choice though, if that's the only way for you to return. You entered the forest, possibly never to be seen again. You turn around, and the bedroom is gone. It wasn't there anymore.

You're now in the forest, nowhere else to go but forward and look for the boy.

The forest was beautiful rather than gloomy like earlier. Countless fresh flowers, mushrooms growing on trees, birds chirping, and living in their homes peacefully. You were enjoying the sight of young fairies flying and playing around.

A smile made it to your lips, but it soon disappeared when you saw a cottage and heard the loud and cheerful voice of a young girl. You took a couple of steps closer to the cabin, and the sight of a young girl playing with flowers and fairies greets your presence.

The young girl laughed until she saw you, and a broad smile was immediately plastered on her face.

"Mommy! We have another special guest!" The girl ran to you, she hugged your legs as a sign of welcome. A woman then comes out of the cottage, a surprised and welcome smile on her lips. She walked towards you and her daughter.

"Hello, welcome to our home. Would you like to come inside and have some tea?" The woman insisted on which you felt bad to reject it.

"Of course, that would be nice, thank you," you follow the woman and her daughter into their cottage. The girl lets you sit down on the chair while she washes her hands.

"I never thought that we would get another guest after that boy yesterday. I am confused why you both suddenly appeared." The woman places the finished tea on that table in front of her. The woman then sits down, the welcoming smile still on her pink lips.

You flinched your head to look at the woman.

"Wait, a boy? If I may ask, why was he here yesterday?" You ask, and the woman's smile became softer.

"I believe he got lost. I told him where to go and what to look out for, but I believe he got attacked after leaving our home." The woman looked worried; her last sentence made you wonder.

"What attacked him?" You questioned, the woman let out a saddened sigh.

"Spirits, evil spirits that live in the forest." The woman answered, a puzzled expression on your face. The lady seemed to notice it.

"Everything here has spirits from the trees to the plants to the rocks to the grass, Everything. There are more good spirits than bad, though." The lady explains,

"However, there are the most dangerous ones. They are the spirit of the Ash trees and the spirit of the Alder trees. These two spirits will attack anyone who comes near its property," The lady adds.

She gets up from her seat and takes out a sketch pad from her wooden shelf. She gives the sketch pad to you, where you could see the appearances of each spirit.

"These are what the spirits look like and what they are guarding. This girl is the spirit of the Ash tree, and this is the spirit of the Alder tree." She points at the two spirits, which they looked like two teenage girls.

"I want you to look out for them when you explore the forest; they are very dangerous, especially towards humans like us. The other spirits are just guarding my daughter and me." The lady added.

You close the sketch pad once you gain the memory of the appearance of the two spirits. You let out a heavy sigh, unsure if you can find the boy without getting into trouble.

You placed the sketch pad on the table in front of you as thoughts arise in your already clouded mind. What if you get hurt and die? Will you be stuck in this world?

"Thank you for warning me and letting me know what the spirits look like." You smiled at the lady; the lady's welcoming smile was back on her lips.

"No problem, dear! I'm glad that I could help." The lady responded as she watched you finish your tea.

You stood up from your seat and sent your heavy thanks to the lady once more before leaving. You stopped, however, when the lady shouted you something.

"Don't die because you'll die for real. You won't be able to return to your home." The lady says.

You turn your head to look at the lady, but she was already gone, out with her daughter. You left their property with fear and countless thoughts, and assumptions of what the outcome of your death that you hoped would never come.

Exploring the forest has never been scarier than your first. Now, you know what you need to ignore, avoid, and to fear, it scared you.

Your head was so full of thoughts to the point you didn't notice you have stepped into the land you aren't meant to be on.

You were out of your trance when you heard words murmured around you.

Instantly, you inspect your surroundings, and feel your body tremble in fear once you realized where you are, in the forest of Ash and Alder Trees. The two spirits known to be always together as if they are sisters.

You're afraid to take another step, but also afraid to stay in one place. You tried to take action slowly, only to hear another word being murmured to you.

You shut your eyes as you gather all the courage in you to take another step, a step you never knew would give you a nightmarish encounter.

You come face to face with one of the two spirits you were told to stay out of trouble, the spirit of the Ash trees.

She looked young, a young teenager, but her eyes were scary green with a hue of blue. Her hair was long, long enough to touch her kneecaps. She reaches her hand out to you before a mischievous appears on the spirit's pale lips.

In a flash of a second, you were grabbed by branches. Most of it started from your feet. You let out a fearful gasp when you felt the tingling feeling of the vines.

You felt disgusted and weak; you felt like your death was nearing. However, most of it disappeared when you saw a shard of glass on the leafy ground.

You swing the shard to cut the vines, which end up with the spirit yelling for the help of the spirit of the Alder tree. You quickly escape with the shard of glass, leaving a few cuts on your palm. But you couldn't care less; you just want to get away.

Eventually, you escaped and left the forest of the Ash and Alder spirit.

You angered them, made them furious, and now you're is sure they are ought to find and punish you.

With anxiety and courage on your side, you continued your search for the missing boy.

You kept the shard of glass in the pocket of your skirt. Speaking of your dress, it was now covered in dirt.

Your white blouse was dirty as well; a tear has appeared on your left sleeve! However, you ignored it; you continued walking and ignored the blood that was dripping from your hand.

You halted when you heard singing. The boy's voice was soft, almost gentle, and silky as if it made for a long silk ribbon.

You followed the voice, curious about who was singing and what it was singing for. Your curiosity grew when you saw a boy in front of a statue. The statue was a lady, and although it was a statue, it looked beautiful. You came to understand why he was singing to the marbled figure.

The boy has chocolate-brown hair, a delicate jawline, pink lips, and eyes that seem to smile with his lips. He was handsome, his voice sounded lively, and his dirty clothes looked wealthy if cleaned.

Your eyes widen when you saw the statue lady flee from him. The boy looked surprised, overwhelmed with the scenery of the statue that fled from him.

You took a step forward, let the boy hear the rustling of leaves around you. He turns around and feels his heart stop at the sight of you.

You stare at each other with shocked expressions, but the surprised faces turned into threatened and feared.

Both of you aren't aware of what the other is capable of. You could mistake him for a human when he could be a spirit, and the boy felt no different.

"Who are you?" You both questioned in sync, both are silent until spoken again. "I said, who are you?" Asked in sync once more, you groan.

"I ask you one more time, who are you? Are you a spirit or a human?" You said, your stern voice masked your fear.

"I'm a human, are you as well?" The boy asks, and you bob your head as an answer to his question. The boy lets out a sigh of relief as his fear of death disappears.

You stare at each other for one more time before they look away. The boy walks forward, your nose scrunches at the way the boy walks.

"Are you injured?" You question, to which the boy gives you an expression you cannot describe.

"I don't think so... also, I should ask you that. Your palm has a cut, and you're too careless to pay attention to it." He makes his way towards you.

He grabs your hand and examines the cut; a concerned expression replaces his indescribable one. He put your palm closer to his face.

The cut wasn't at all deep, but it wasn't small either. Dried blood surrounded the fresh-cut. You were lucky it's not infected yet.

"We need to find water and clean that cut of yours. It might get infected," he rips a part of his cloak. His action brought surprised expression on your face.

The sound of cloth ripped from his cloak confused you; why did he have to do that? He takes your hand once more and wraps the piece of cloth around your cut.

"That will do it! We need to find shelter before the spirit of the Ash and the Alder tree finds us again. I'm guessing you angered them as well?" He gives you a questioning look.

"I angered them as well... All we could do is hope that we don't get killed." He lets out a soft chuckle before he walked in front of you.

"Come on, better walk before we get killed." You walk through the forest again, both always on the look-out for anything harmful.

"I never got your name, may I know it?" The boy asks you, his eyes glued to the path in front of him.

"My name is y/n, how about you?" You were the one asking this time. The boy looks and smiles at you, the way his pupils disappear, and the dimple on his cheeks shows itself.

"Soobin, Choi Soobin... Hm, did you get dragged in this forest as well?" he asks again before you continue your walking journey.

"Yes, they dragged me here to look for the boy that never came back for days. I guess boy is you," you raise a brow whilst Soobin sighs.

"Yup, that's me... but I've been gone for days?" It confused him; it felt like only a couple of hours had passed.

"Yes, days! The fairy who brought me here said and-," you were silenced when you heard a rustle. Soobin was about to ask, but you immediately silenced him.

You look around attentively, a sight of any moving object wary of you. You moved closer to Soobin, in fear of suddenly getting attacked.

Suddenly, you see a woman walking towards you both. Soobin looks at the woman with a suspecting face. The woman smiles, which gave discomfort to the two.

"Hello, I'm a maid from a palace near here, but I lost my way trying to return. Can you help me find my way back?" The woman says with an upset expression.

Soobin looks at you, who has an uncomfortable expression. You weren't buying this; the maid was suspicious. She came out from nowhere and this warred you.

You walk to Soobin's side and hold his hand. "Sorry, but I'm afraid we can't help you." The maid's upset expression turned into a disappointment one.

"Y/n, come on, ease up a bit. She works in a palace. It can't be that far! Anyway, I should be certain that the palace is enormous for us to see." Soobin says whilst he pats your back.

He looks at the maid and offers her both of your help. The maid solemnly smiles at him. But there was something wrong with it- it's the way she weirdly glared at you afterward.

Soobin helped the maid find her way back. Their walk was long, just like their other walks whilst exploring the forest.

You swore you have seen no other sign of humanity again, if only you don't include the 'maid'. The way the maid kept looking at you made you feel annoyed.

You were walking behind Soobin and the so-called maid. Soobin was busy talking to the maid whilst you were on her guard, and constantly.

Suddenly, you heard something break behind you. You spin around, only to see nothing but a branch fall from a tree.

You turn around again, and jump in shock when the spirit of the Ash Tree stood in front of you. Her pale face staring intently at your not-so-pale skin.

"Hello, we meet again! I'm afraid you caused me too much pain, that will cause death." The spirit says and suddenly, vines grab your legs.

You tried to grab the shard of glass in your pocket, except your arms were wrapped with the vines already.

"Soobin! RUN!" You screamed, and vines made its way to your neck. You heard the spirit laugh at your suffering.

Suddenly, the vines were cut once again, which resulted in the spirit's deafening screams. She dropped you to the ground and arms were wrapped around your shoulder.

You cough for air before you face the person who has their arms wrapped around your shoulder. It was Soobin. His lingering eyes stared at the spirit in front of you.

"Well, look who we have here," the spirit of the Alder tree shows herself. She was still dressed in her maid clothes, which she used to trick them both.

"I'm sorry, I should have listened to you," you heard Soobin mutter when he saw the bruises around your neck.

"No, it's fine. You're quite stubborn, but you only wanted to help," Soobin helps you stand up. The two spirits laugh and try to attack you both at the same time.

Soobin's eyes widen and leap in front of you to shield your weak figure. However, neither of you felt pain and only heard the screams of agony of the two spirits.

You both turn your heads, only to see a man dressed in iron armor.

"Knight Choi Yeonjun, I never knew you would protect such weak human beings." The spirit of the Ash Tree snickered at him. The knight only pointed his iron sword at the two spirits.

"We shall not support Death in the lands of Fairies and other spirits. This shall be the last time if you are not on your property. If blood gets on one property's land other than your own, you are bound to be banished from Fairy Land." He stated and the two spirits groaned.

The two spirits glare at Yeonjun before they fled back to their forests. Yeonjun looks at the two who looked lost and are extremely lost.

"Go on, they will not bother you anymore," Yeonjun says and flashes them a smile. He gets on his horse.

"Thank you for helping us, good Knight, sir," you say, the knight says no more and walks away from them to do his duties.

"We better get going. It looks like the night is coming to pain us." Soobin jokes and you let out a laugh.

The two continued your journey once again, but found another cottage. It looked different from the cottage of the lady and her daughter.

The door of the cottage opens, and a man exits the cottage. He looked surprised to see you and Soobin. He grabs a sword on the side and points it at your direction.

"Sir, we mean no harm. Please, put your sword down." Soobin stood in front of you to shield you once again. The man didn't do what he was told, but another lady came out and made him put his sword down.

"Oh, my, guests! Honey, that's no way to treat them. They look like troubled and exhausted, treat them nicely." The lady says and runs towards you and Soobin.

"Hello, I'm Jihyo and that is my husband over there, his name is Daniel. Please, come inside! The night is arriving!" The lady insisted and dragged them both inside.

Soobin holds her hand before they enter their home, which was brighter and more spacious than the last home they visited. Suddenly, a young girl comes down the stairs. "Guests!!" She jumped off the stairs and hugged their arms.

"Welcome to our home! What are your names!?" The little girl asks, a wide smile on her face.

"My name is y/n,"

"Hello, I'm Choi Soobin," The little girl jumps in joy.

"My name is Jigeon!" The little girl says and sits down beside her father. Jihyo comes with a tray of cups of tea and she puts it down on the table. "Here is some tea, you may rest here for the night." Jihyo insisted,

"Ah, really? Thank you so much," you both smile at Jihyo before she sits down beside her husband.

"Big sister, do you believe in the magic of Fairyland and fairy tales?" The little girl asks, and she shows you her drawing of a fairy.

"Yes, I believe in magic but I don't know about fairy tales, love."

"If it's okay, can I ask why?" Jihyo asks, her eyes stuck on you and Soobin.

"I'm not saying I don't believe in them. It's just that so many people have retold them in different ways, no one knows the proper story." Suddenly, you remember the fairy in the bedroom from before.

"But I guess, I believe in some of them. Not everything about life will end in a happily ever after." She added and Daniel sighed in disbelief.

"Who believes in those things anyway?" He asks, causing Jihyo to chuckle.

Everyone continued to talk about fairy tales, facts about themselves, and what you and Soobin will do on the next day.

Soon, the evening arrived, and the family went to bed. You were staying in the extra bedroom they offered you both to sleep in. Soobin insisted on staying in the living room, for he doesn't want to trouble them.

They provided extra sets of clothes to wear for your next journey. It was a good and quiet evening, although the two couldn't sleep.

You exit your bedroom quietly and head to the living room. You halted your tracks when you saw Soobin still awake. He seemed to read a book; Soobin noticed your presence and smiled.

"Why are you still awake?" Soobin asks, "I should ask you the same." You let out a chuckle and sit beside him on the wooden couch.

"I'm just thinking of home. It was my choice to enter this forest but never thought of what could happen." Soobin lets out a heavy sigh.

"I can't relate at all. I got dragged here because I was told to look for you." you pout, Soobin laughs, and pats your head.

"I'm sorry about that," he apologized.

"Don't apologize, I was dragged here in this book." you exclaimed, but soon realized what you said. Immediately, you cover your mouth and turn her head to look at Soobin.

"What- what do you mean?" Soobin was confused, but you just looked away.

"Well, what's the point? We probably won't see each other again after you go back home." You look into his eyes, which were showing sadness. The prominent frown on his lips.

Your eyes, however, were hopeful, and your head was still full of unanswered questions. You take Soobin's hand in yours.

"I don't belong in this place, or this world at all. It's hard to believe, but I'm from a whole other world. We are in a fairy tale that my great-grandfather retold." Soobin looks puzzled. But soon it disappeared.

It was replaced with a rather disappointed one. He looks at you and smiles. The disappointed smile made your heart flip.

"I understand, why were you dragged in this fairy tale, anyway?" He asks, his tone of voice was soft, unlike his usual tone.

"We have this family tradition of finishing what our ancestors started or else, they won't rest in peace. I was told to finish this book before my great-grandfather started and here I am," you answered.

Soobin just nodded and looked away. It disappointed- you're leaving after he finds his way back home. Though you talked little, he enjoyed your company.

Silence then came and took over. The two are quiet, both are scared to speak after your explanation. You sighed, which caught the attention of Soobin.

"Let's forget I said that and try to enjoy this dangerous journey until we get back. You should rest, we still have many things to do." You smile before you patted Soobin's head.

You were about to head back to your room until Soobin stopped you. You face the boy who has a smile on his face. "Good night, I hope you sleep well."

You smiled and nodded, "I hope you sleep well too." You went back to your room, the softest smile on your lips.

You lay on the bed, the comfort finally arrives, and you felt better. You close your eyes and let the sleepiness get to you. At last, ever since you came into the forest, you finally felt at ease.

The next day, you and Soobin thank the family once more before you get ready to leave. You both turn around and walk away from the family's cottage.

"What are we going to do now?" Soobin asks while he moves some branches for you to pass without getting hurt. "Find a way back home, stay out of trouble," you stated.

Soobin just agreed with you as he watched you walk in front of him. He was about to push away another branch until something grabbed his wrist. He turns around to check, but he sees no one.

He turns his head to the tree, and his eyes widen. His shadow was holding his wrist. He quickly takes his wrist back and follows you. Throughout your entire journey, Soobin's shadow kept on annoying him.

It made Soobin trip over nothing, hit himself twice, and kept on bothering him. It concerned you; you did not know what was going on until afternoon came.

"Soobin-," you turn around, but Soobin wasn't there at all.

"Soobin? Soobin!" You shout his name. But no one responded. You turn around again. But he still wasn't there.

He wouldn't leave you there, right? Something bad must've happened.

You took a step forward, only to trip on nothing, and hit your head. You wince, your palm caresses the pained part.

You sit up, scared to suddenly feel blood on your head. However, you felt your heart skip a beat when you saw an enormous palace. You get on your feet and make your way towards the two gold doors.

You caressed the gold details, fascinated by the beautiful designs. Suddenly, the doors open. You come face to face with the long hall of the palace. You took a step inside and the two doors shut itself. You walk your way through the palace, still fascinated by the interior of the humongous building.

Everything was gorgeous: the gold and white furniture, the marble tops, the large arched windows. You even discovered a room with stained glass windows, and a room with a grand staircase. There were many rooms which might take days exploring.

You find another room with two large doors. Except the doors were silver. You pushed the door open. Your mouth goes agape at the sight of millions of books. A soft smile makes it on your pink lips as you enter the library.

"This is magnificent," you mutter in amusement. You were about to take another step, however. Music plays in the halls. The music sounded like a waltz. You exit the library in curiosity and go towards the direction of the music.

The music changed its tone. It sounded more like a ballroom's music. You stop in front of a door, a silver one and gold one. You press your palms against the door and pushes it open.

Your eyes went wide at the sight of the dancing statues. They all turned at you and immediately returned to to their pedestals. You enter the hall and jumped when you heard the door shut behind you.

You look at the hall in front of you: The statues were porcelain or marble, but they all looked marvelous. You walked through the hall, but you halted your movements once you saw a familiar figure staring at one empty pedestal.

"Soobin!" You shout his name, the boy turns his head to look at your running figure. He smiles in relief and rushes towards you. Immediately, he embraced you.

"I thought I lost you!" You both said in sync.

"You vanished from my sight!" You both said again. Soobin breaks the hug and notices that you were staring at the pedestal behind him.

It belonged to the Marble lady he was singing to. You then remembered the music you heard that played throughout the entire palace. It was the lullaby Soobin was singing to the marble lady for the first time.

"Soobin, sing the lullaby you first sang to her." You said, your eyes full of curiosity, and Soobin does what he was told. After his lullaby, the marble lady materialises the pedestal. The marble lady looks down upon you both, only to flee the next minute.

"Wait! M'lady, come back!" Soobin chases her, you follow them through the long hall you were in. The waltz music plays again. The statues you both ran past were dancing again.

The marble lady opens a door and goes through it. Before Soobin could stop and analyze the door, he tripped through alongside you.

You were the first one to look where they ended up in. It looked like you returned to Fairyland. You hear a groan below you and your cheeks flushes red immediately. You quickly get off Soobin and help the tall male stand up.

"I'm so sorry, Soobin! I never realized you were below me," Soobin laughs and pats her head.

"It's not your fault, it's my fault for suddenly fleeing after the marble lady. By the way, where are we?" He asks- the trees looked shorter, more mushrooms on the trees, and lizards standing on two legs whilst wearing heavy armor.

"What is that!?" Soobin shouts in fear and shock. He hid behind you, even though he's the taller one. The creature turns its head at both of you before it pulls out its sword. Your eyes widen as you immediately get on your feet.

You inspect the lizard related creature. It looked like a dragon, but with no wings. The heavy armor makes a clicking sound every time they move. The creature looked strong; they are definitely not a match for neither of you. Suddenly, you remember what they are, they're from her great-grandfather's sketches. He calls them Kobolds!

"Kobold, sir... we mean no harm and we wouldn't want harm to us as well. Please, put your sword down. I promise you, we are weaponless." You reassured them. The kobold looked hesitant but eventually put his sword down.

"Why are there humans in our forest?" The kobold who you talked to ask the other beside him.

"Sir, we were chasing a marble lady but ended up here. Have you seen her? I also deeply apologize if we are trespassing on your property. All we wanted is to go back to our home," You added, and kobolds look at her in shock.

"You, lady. How can you understand us? We are speaking our own language," you assumed who was the leader asked you.

"What do you mean, good sir? You are speaking the human language," you tilt your head.

"Yes, s-sir. You are speaking the human language." Soobin stares at them, fear still prominent on his face.

"No, we are speaking our own language! I am guessing, there is some power in you that could make you understand us. That power makes it seem like we're speaking in your language," The kobold explains.

You look at Soobin and show him a relieving smile. He gulps the lump in his throat and holds your hand, tightly.

"Kobold, sir. Do you know how we can leave your forest?" you question the Kobolds who nod their heads.

"We could show you, but it will be a long journey. Maybe, along the way, you can tell me how you got here." He says, and you showed a reassured smile. The kobolds smile at your reaction.

"Splendid! We'll let you guide our ways," you say. The leader Kobold shows you both the way. Eventually, he would ask you questions about your sudden appearance.

Unbeknownst to you and the leader, Soobin was being mocked by the other Kobolds.

"Another question about us, how did you know we are Kobolds? It takes time for other creatures and spirits to know we are Kobolds." The leader asked. His eyes kept glancing at you and the path in front of him.

"I've seen a sketch of your kind in my great-grandfather's sketchbooks. His sketches are marvelous, always so realistic and splendid. You look very similar to the very first kobold he drew." You smile, suddenly, the kobold halt his steps. You did the same and turn to look at him. A softer and relieved look flashes over his face.

"It has been very long, I see. When did your great-grandfather pass away?" The kobold asks.

"The mid-last year. Why do you ask, sir? Do you know him?" You ask, curious about why he looks like that.

"It is nothing, we are almost there." The kobold smiles as you continue walking.

"Y/n, help me~ they kept on mocking me," you turn your head around. You try to contain your laughter when Soobin looks miserable in between all three kobolds. Soobin grunts and goes to your side.

"Aw, wittle baby wants his mommy~," The kobolds continued to mock Soobin who looked embarrassed. Soon enough, you were all outside the forest, and a much more pleasing sight greeted everyone.

It was a beach, its sand was a beautiful beige color, the waters were crystal clear, and there were sea shells of different sizes.

"This is beautiful, but how did we get to a beach?" Soobin asks, the kobold didn't answer and points at a boat by the docks.

"Get on that boat, let it take you to an island with a cottage. There will be an ancient lady. I believe she could help you." The kobold smiles,

"Thank you so much, Kobold Si-," you look at the Kobold who now looks like a human. He was still tall, however, he was more human than a creature.

"My name is Taehyun, a great friend of your great-grandfather. I'm glad he found a loved one and had a family. I'm hopeful you will continue this fairy tale for him." Taehyun smiles before he jogs forward you and Soobin.

"Now end this fairy tale. Good luck," you nod and hold Soobin's hand. You both bid them a goodbye before they both walk to where the boat is. Suspicions arise when you saw the man on the captain's seat.

"G'day~ I'm Jake! You're headed to that island, I believe?" He points his finger at the island across from you. The island has a cottage on it, but not that clear for both of them to see.

"If that's where the said ancient lady lives, then yes, that is where we are headed." Soobin says, and the man nods before he starts the engine of the boat. Soon enough, the boat moves at a rapid speed.

The clear blue sky was replaced with a dark cloudy one. The waves were getting larger, and the boat was unstable. Luckily for them, Jake was quick enough, and they made it to the island safely.

"Have a safe trip! Don't danger yourselves in that cottage! A young man went inside and never came out on the other side." Jake says as he watches you and Soobin get off the boat.

"Thank you, sir. Let's get going, y/n. I doubt this is the end," Soobin turns his head at the girl. You bobbed your head as you both entered the cottage.

The cottage was small, however, when they went inside, there were four doors. Each one made from different wood. Just 4 doors and nothing else.

"Y/n, I think we need to stay together this time," Soobin says as he watches you press your hand against the dark oak door.

"You think so?" You push the door open. Instantly, Soobin runs to your side and intertwines their hands. "Let's take a step together, shall we?" Soobin takes a deep breath and clasped your hand tighter.

You smile and like what you both agreed on; you took a step together.

Once you open your eyes, you were both back in the manor where it all started. However, Soobin was a young boy again.

"What- why am I child again?" Soobin asks, you chuckle, and kneels to pat his head.

"You're so cute, Binnie~," You say to which he smiles widely. He jumps into your arms and hugs you tightly. This reminded you of your youngest brother, the warmth of the little boy made you miss your home.

The door opens after a knock. Soobin breaks the hug as you both turn your heads at the door. The sight of his mother greets you both.

She was wearing a black dress that touches the floor. She looks sad, almost emotionless.

“I see you are handling my son well. Please, get him dressed. It is almost time for my son's funeral,” your eyes widen. You turn your head to look at Soobin.

His eyes of glee replaced with sadness when he remembered this dreadful memory of his.

"Of course, m'lady. We'll be ready in 30 minutes," His mother leaves the room and closes the door. You embraced Soobin once more, the boy completely melting because of your warmth.

"It may be just a memory and we're re-living it now, but I guarantee you, we'll leave this memory together. Let's get you dress, little one," you kiss forehead before standing up.

You went through his closet, pulling out the required attire. You give the boy his clothes and exit the room for the young boy to change.

"Is Soobin getting ready?" A man asks her. He had some of Soobin's features, so she assumed he's the father. "Yes, sir," you say and his father sighs.

"Please, as Soobin's personal maid and his friend, try to cheer him up. Other than you, he is very close with his brother." He says, obviously concerned. He looks like he was about to cry.

You pat his shoulder, "Sir, I ensure you that Soobin will be okay. He is a strong boy, he has gone through enough to prove that. Focus on saying goodbye to your eldest son, peacefully," you smile before you heard the door open.

"I'm done..." Soobin peeks his head out and you smile.

You excused yourself and enter Soobin's room. The boy was sitting down on the bed, "Is there something wrong?"

"I miss my brother and I know this is just a memory. I've accepted his death, so I'm not really sad, but must I re-live this memory again?" Soobin asks to which you didn't answer with words but a hug once more.

"It won't take long, I promise," you muttered and Soobin nods. Soon, you were called and told to get in the car provided. They drove you both to where the funeral is held.

Soobin looks at the familiar casket where the pale and lifeless body of his brother lay.. He walks closer to the casket, his hand in your grasp. He emotionlessly looks at his dead brother.

He was quiet the whole time they were saying their farewells to him. His grip on your hand only became tighter. They stand on the side. His parents were crying for his brother.

"Y/n, I can never see you again after I get back.... right?" Soobin whispers as he looks down. You look down at the young Soobin. You notice the tears falling from his eyes onto the grass.

"I'm more sad saying goodbye to you," Soobin wipes his tears away. You frown and patted his head. You couldn't say anything, you couldn't say you might meet again.

He embraced you once more before you were back to the cottage. Soobin wasn't a young boy, anymore. You turn their heads towards the door they went through, it's gone. Three doors remain.

You wipe his remaining tears away before she stands up. "Come on, let us continue." She smiles and helps Soobin stand up. "Now, let's go through the next door." The next door was made of birch.

Soobin opens the door, and he turns to look at you. He reaches his hand out, making you smile softly. You intertwined your hands and soon; you enter the door together.

You were back to the palace, in the hallway of the dancing statues. Soobin halts his movements once he sees Knight Yeonjun and the marble lady.

You glance at Soobin before at the other two. Yeonjun was holding the marble lady's hand. The lady was smiling and was leaning closer to his lips. It looked like she was about to kiss him.

"And here I thought, I could fall in love with her," Soobin sighs in disbelief. You laugh and shake your head and mentally ask him how he had that thought.

"How can you even fall in love with a marble lady? You just saw her, sing for her, and fall for her." You continue to laugh, Soobin joins you. His grip on your hand became tighter, and he rests his head on your shoulder.

"Heartbreak must really love me. It must love me so much since the marble lady loves the knight and you're going to leave soon," Soobin whispers, you feel guilty.

You bring his hand close to your lips. You place a soft kiss on his knuckles before you pecked his cheek.

"A handsome and kind fellow like you does not deserve heartbreak, Soobin. Maybe, you're just unfortunate." You sweetly smile as Soobin's cheeks flush red.

"Let's go," Soobin coughs, and in a blink of an eye, you were back to the cottage. The door was gone once again. Two doors remain.

You went through the next door, a door made of normal oak wood. You gasp in fear when your eyes land on the fearful sight in front of you both. Soobin was surprised as well, but as soon as he gained his mind back, he stood in front of you. The smell of iron fills the room.

You look around the room while staying close to Soobin. You cover your nose and hold tightly onto Soobin's shirt. "S-Soobin, I think... We're in your family's mausoleum." She stutters,

You shake at the gory sight in front of you. His mother laid dead on the floor. Blood covers her entire body. "We need to get out of here," Soobin kept his arms around you and ran out of the room.

He found the door and immediately went through it. You both returned to the cottage. Both tried to breathe the air with no smell of blood. "That was horrible..."

"One more door..." Soobin helps you get up. You were still shaking. You rest your head on Soobin's chest. As if he read your mind, he lets you stay like that and regain your breathing.

He kept his arms around you before he patted her head twice whilst you finally calm herself. She moves away from him, muttering a 'thank you' to him.

"Thank you, let's go through that door now. It's the last one," you say. Still holding his hand, Soobin nods. Soon, you both went through the door together once more.

However, when they entered the room, it felt like everything was spinning. Everything was getting blurry, and you both felt like you want to throw up. That continued for minutes, but it felt like forever.

Suddenly, someone grabbed your hands and dragged out them of the room. You let out a grunt as you make eye contact with the lady.

"What happened?" You ask softly, the lady helps you sit up. You turn your head to look at Soobin, who has his hands on his head.

"I saved you, but you remember nothing. Now, I want you both to leave this place. You opened all the doors. The island will sink. There is an isthmus outside the island. Use that and leave," The ancient lady drags you out of her cottage.

You wrap Soobin's arm around your shoulder before you cross the Isthmus. However, your strength ran out and you both black out when they made it to the other side of the Isthmus.

Soobin groans in pain as soon as he wakes up. He was warm, too warm to the point he was sweating. He sits up and looks around the place he was in. It was a blacksmith. Two men were forging swords and armor on the side.

One man looks at him and smiles. "Ah, you're awake! Your female friend is still asleep, but would you like some armor?" The brunette one asks him.

"Do not mind him. I'm Beomgyu and this is my brother, Huening Kai. We're forging weapons and armor to battle the three giants living in a stronghold! You could join us," Beomgyu smiles at him.

They confused Soobin: Is this how they treat people who just woke up? He looks around. No sign of you or anything. "Where is the girl?" He asks as Huening Kai points at another door.

"She is still unconscious. You can enter the room but do nothing. I will not hesitate to chop your head off." Huening Kai says as he shows him an axe he forged. Soobin nods and enters the room.

You were still unconscious, like they said. He moves to sit beside you and brushes the hair away from your face. He studied your facial features. What attracted him the most are your eyes and your lips. Soobin holds your hand and kisses it. "Please, wake up soon," He says and the door cracks open.

"Join our fight while she's still asleep. I will give you armor, don't die on her," Beomgyu smiles and Soobin follows him. He didn't even get time to prepare himself.

He just woke up, talked to these two brothers, checked on you, and now he's joined their fight. No time to prepare at all. The fight was going well until other giants ambushed them. Both brothers died and Beomgyu has asked him to tell the girl he loves that he loves her.

Soobin nods and kills all the giants; their blood splattered all over him. He looked like a piece of bloody meat. Everything happened too quick. He couldn't comprehend anything at all.

Soobin returns to their now empty home and sees you. As soon as your eyes landed on him, they grew wide. He was covered with blood, head to toe, as the smell of iron fills the room. He quickly apologizes and head to the bathroom.

After cleaning, Soobin explained everything to the worried you. You sighed in relief. He survived and embraced the tall male. He's now the hero of the kingdom he just saved.

"Soobin, we need to journey again. I'm sorry I was unconscious for a while," you whisper. Soobin chuckled and wrapped his arms around your waist. He pulled you closer to him.

His eyes staring directly at hers as his heart beats quicker. He leans closer and pecks her lips, which surprises her. He leans back and examined your reaction. You were surprised but definitely not disappointed.

You leaned over and closed the distance between you both. Your arms around his neck whilst he placed you on the table. Your lips connected and warmth fills the cold room. The kiss felt euphoric for both of you.

Soobin breaks the heated kiss and rests his chin on top of your head.

"It's alright, but we need to find the woman one brother loved. We need to tell her how he felt about her," Soobin says and changed his clothes into lighter ones. You flushed red and turn around.

"Must you really change in front of me!? How did you get so confident?" You pout, your cheeks grew warmer. Soobin finishes changing his clothes and wrapped his arms around your waist once more.

"I am now a hero of a kingdom I saved. I must have confident to be a great hero. Also, I just kissed the girl I fell in love with... I feel really confident," Soobin says. You pouted and turned around to face him.

You pecked his lips before you start your next journey. It felt like it has been months since you entered this world. How much longer do they have to journey for to return home?

"Let's hurry, we must race the night." Soobin, his facial features stand out more when his hair is brushed back. You froze on your spot when Soobin wrapped his cloak around your shoulder.

They both left the kingdom's grounds. Both staying close with each other as they walked through the forest. Suddenly, your kiss popped inside into your head.

Your first kiss... taken by a man whom you met in a storybook.

You dreamy sigh, you noticed the sun was setting. However, your eyes grew wide in surprised when you saw Soobin's shadow moving. It looked like it was about to hit him with something.

"Soobin, watch out!"

Soobin wakes up in a cell. His eyes go wide when he sees you unconsciously laid beside him. “Y/n! Y/n, please wake up!” He rests your head on his lap. He flinched his head to the side when he heard something fall from the other side of the call.

“You fool! I will get you!” Soobin enrages when he saw his shadow. It looked like it was laughing at him. He fights the tears that threatened to fall and face you once more.

"Please, wake up. You don't know how much you mean to me right now. I have fallen, fallen deeply in love with you, y/n. Please, wake up, my love," Soobin says as he pecks your lips once more.

Days have passed, Soobin has refused to eat anything his shadow has offered him. You remained unconscious, which worried him. However, he knows you will wake up; you are still breathing, after all.

Suddenly, you let out a loud cough, and Soobin pull immediately pulled you closer to him. "Y/n! Thank goodness!" He hugs you tightly as you questioned the unknown events.

"We will find out way out, I promise," Soobin clasps her hand.

"Bin, we're in a cell underground... How can we escape?" She mutters,

"I do not know, but we will find a way-," Soobin was cut off by a song. A lady was singing a song, although they don't know where the lady is coming from. Suddenly, the cell broke and Soobin could shield you from the metal pieces.

"Are you okay?" You ask Soobin, who nodded. Immediately, you get out of the cell and ran upstairs. The song still being sung, and it only stopped when they made it far away from the underground.

"Her voice sounded like the fairy I met before entering fairyland," you stated. Your hand supported the side of your forehead.

"Ah, really?" You nod at Soobin's word. You both continued to walk through the depth of the forest. Soobin was still holding her hand, but you felt safe with him.

You wished you could stay longer with him, however, your life outside of the book stopped you. You have a family to take care of, a world to go back to. You can't stay and low-key dreading for this book to end.

You both stopped once you heard the rustling of leaves on your side. Soobin stood in front of you, ready to fight whatever was coming, until Knight Yeonjun appears with his white horse.

"Ah! Soobin and y/n! Nice to see you again, all safe and sound!" He says and looks at you. A softer smile appears on his lips as he reaches out a sheathed sword to Soobin. The action confused Soobin.

"Become my squire, Soobin! We shall return to my kingdom soon, and I can guarantee you and y/n safety." Yeonjun spat and Soobin looks at you for permission, once you nod your head, he accepts the offer.

He lets go of your hand to take the heavy sword from Yeonjun. Soobin thanks Yeonjun and smiles at y/n, who thanked him as well.

You both follow Yeonjun, talking a little with the knight. Soobin smiles widely whenever he sees you smile. His smile disappeared when his mind reminded him you have to leave soon. Soobin halted his steps when he heard voices. He stood in front of you while Yeonjun pulled out his sword to fight whoever was there.

Suddenly, he was hit on the head causing him to pass out.

A day later, Soobin wakes up in an unknown room once again. The room was dark, the only light source was the candle on the side. He looks around for y/n, only to realize you aren't on his side. He gets off whatever he was lying on and rushed out of the building.

Suddenly, he sees 5 men around a platform. One of them looks at Soobin, a smirk on his lips, and his platinum blonde hair almost covers his eye. Another boy looks at him, he has blonde hair with yellow highlights.

"Sleeping beauty has woken up! How was your sleep? I'm certain you are looking for the girl," the platinum blond says. Soobin sees the platform behind them, his eyes widen when he saw you seated on the platform. You weren't unconscious, but it looked like you weren’t yourself.

Your gaze stayed on the ground and your eye colors looked pale. That's when Soobin felt furious. He rushes towards them but was stopped by another one of them.

"Let go of me!" He kicks the guy off and grabs the idol beside you.

"Don't let him-!" Soobin smashed the idol on the ground. He pulls you closer to him and sees a horrendous monster coming out of the shattered idol. Soobin grabbed the sword from the side and gently placed you down.

"Y/n! If I'm going to die here, please... at least wake up!" Soobin stood still when he felt the monster's arm inserted inside of him. He snickers when he saw the sword in the monster's chest.

"Farewell, my love... I hope you get back home safely."

Soobin gasped before he jolted up from his bed. He looks around the spacious room. Was it all a dream? Why is he suddenly back in his room after death? He hears the door open and sees his mother enter the room.

She runs towards Shotaro and embraces him immediately. Tears stream down her eyes as she kisses her son's forehead. The warmth of her son she missed dearly. A sense of relief fills the hole in her heart.

"I'm so happy you're back... you've been gone for 21 days!" Her mother cries and Soobin felt his heart stop. Soobin felt like he spent years in fairyland... Why did it seem like his long journey lasted for years then?

He looks out of his window, his head full of thoughts of you. He smiles softly and hugs his mother tightly. All he hopes for is that you are safe and are in another world you need to complete.

You were back in the mysterious room. You receive another holographic card which says; 'Chapter two'. She turns it around and sees the title of the next fairytale.

Suddenly, you were in a normal room. The paper appeared in front of you as it wrote it own's words.

"Chapter two; The Little Mermaid."

[rhysismydaddy]

Naughty Neighbors pt. 1 (Elriel)

Synopsis: Elain’s stuck in a dead end relationship, bored beyond belief with her life. When she befriends her brand new neighbor, it’s like taking a breath of fresh air. But with each day of friendship, she grows more and more drawn to him and the past he’s desperate to escape. His smile is all she thinks about, invading her head at the most inconvenient moments. He’s made his intentions with her perfectly clear, but she’s determined to resist his charms. She won’t allow him to turn her calm, quiet life upside down. Right?

I’M SORRY THIS HAS TAKEN SO LONG. Moving did NOT go smoothly, and my professors are taking online classes a little ~seriously~ even though they haven’t started yet lol. 

Part 2 should be out by Wednesday, and it’s in Azriel’s POV :))))) This one’s a slow burn ladies and gentlemen, so get ready for some pent up desire 

______________________________________________________________

Elain rolled over in bed, somehow too hot and cold at the same time. Gods, she was miserable. Her boyfriend was next to her, snoring loudly, and the sound did nothing to help her worsening mood. 

She was so exhausted-- when you owned a flower shop, wedding season was always hectic--but sleep had been refusing to find her for the past hour. 

It didn’t help that she had a moose-sounding man in the room. 

Reminding herself that she loved him and definitely didn’t want to strangle him in his loud ass sleep, she rolled over and pulled a pillow on her head. 

Somehow, after two years of dating, she hadn’t gotten used to how loudly Lucien snored. 

Thank the gods we don’t live together, she thought, then admonished herself for it. 

They would eventually. 

She just had to get used to it. 

The pillow over her head became suffocating, only adding to the over-heating problem, so she threw the covers off, grabbed a robe, and walked out. After going up a few flights of stairs, she found herself on the roof. 

It was the place she always went when she was stressed or sad or just needed to see the night sky. She’d even started a garden a few months ago, so she started to head over to check on it. 

But then she saw who was sitting on the bench in front of her rose bushes and paused. 

Paused and stared, because the man sitting in front of her wearing dark clothes and a smirk was both classically beautiful and dangerous. 

He was the kind of man most men would do anything not to fight and women would do anything to bed. 

Smoke curled around him, and the shadows somehow seemed to cling to his tall frame. The stranger dwarfed the small bench, large frame taking up enough space for two. Even though he was sitting, she could tell he was well over six feet. And built like a Greek god, if the way his black, long sleeve t-shirt clung to his chest was any indication.  

He was the most attractive man she’d ever seen, and that was without taking in the strong, clean shaven jaw, hazel eyes, and hair the color of spilled ink. 

And oh fuck, he was studying her, too. A shiver ran over her as she realized she was covered in just her robe. 

Her body begged her to both run far away and draw closer, and for some reason, she listened to the urge to do the latter. 

“Who are you?” she asked as she walked through the maze of flowers. 

“Who are you?” he shot back, not answering her question. Her body reacted to his voice alone, goosebumps raising at the cold but somehow soothing tone. 

A breeze caused her hair to swirl around her as she replied, “I’m Elain. What are you doing here?”

He jerked his chin at the cigarette dangling from his fingertips, but that wasn’t exactly what she’d been asking. “No, I mean what are you doing here?”

“I live here, Elain.”

She realized she shouldn’t have told him her name, because now he could say it in that sexy, very manly voice of his and it would do strange things to her sanity. 

He said her name like a lover would, soft and sensual, but also coldly amused. He sounded like he knew her, like he’d known her for years. 

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.” His eyes are laughing at her now, but he didn’t sound mean. 

"Which apartment?”

“4B.”

Elain’s eyebrows pinched together at that news. She lived in 4A and hadn’t even noticed she’d gotten a new neighbor. Then again, she’d been at work all day. “Oh. I guess we’re neighbors then.”

A small smile graced his full lips, and she studied it before forcing her eyes back to his. “Lucky me.”

Oh, gods. Was he... flirting with her? 

She didn’t even know. It had been so long since someone had that she’d forgotten what it sounded like. 

So she rolled her eyes good naturedly, leaning against the brick railing encasing the roof. 

“Sneaking out for a smoke?” His voice was like gravel and smoke, and his hazel eyes raked over her body in a way that made her shiver. 

“Couldn’t sleep.”

He nodded, then extended the cigarette to her in question. She smiled but shook her head and said, “I don’t smoke.”

“A good girl, then.” He didn’t sound at all bothered by that statement. And once again, his hazel eyes skirted down her body. “Do you want to sit down?”

There was almost no room on the bench, but it beat standing on the edge of the roof on such a breezy night, so she walked over and sat as far away from him as possible. 

It was still way too close. 

Her arm was pressed against hers, allowing her to feel the dense muscle covering it. She doubted she could wrap both hands around it completely, but she shut down the urge to try as she crossed her legs casually.

The warmth from his body seeped into her, goosebumps raising where they touched. “You’re warm,” she commented stupidly. 

“Are you cold?” he asked, hazel eyes scanning her face, then dropping slightly. 

No small amount of horror grew when she realized what he’d glanced at. She crossed her arms over her chest, then scowled when he grinned. 

Her eyebrows flew up, though, when a heavy arm landed across her shoulders and tucked her into a warm, firm side. 

Oh, gods above every place they connected was tingling. Heat rushed into her--both between her legs and from his side.

She needed a heat CT. 

“Is this your garden?” he asked, taking a puff of his cigarette and blowing the smoke away from her. 

She nodded, then realized her head was pressed against his chest. Elain pulled away slightly, then asked, “Will you tell me your name?”

His hazel eyes were dark, like molten caramel. She felt lost in him. “What will you give me in return?”

Every inch of her body went taut and loose at the same time. Her thigh was suddenly warm, and she looked down to see his hand resting on her skin. The back of his hand was covered in scars and tattoos and his palm was covered in callouses, but it was nothing but gentle and warm on her thigh. 

Her maybe-neighbor was perfectly still, his face cool and composed while he waited for her to react. But his eyes told her exactly what would happen if she leaned into him just a tiny amount. 

And gods, she wanted to. 

Something was holding her back though. A small voice was screaming at her, and a disgusting amount of guilt crept up her shoulders. Almost jumping out of her skin, she remembered whose existence she’d forgotten completely. 

Lucien.

Her boyfriend. 

The man she’d been attempting to sleep next to not an hour ago.

She pulled away, instantly missing his warmth. “I have a boyfriend,” she said unceremoniously and with about as much enthusiasm as someone declaring grandma was dead. 

His eyes went a little darker, even as the corner of his lips twitched. “Hm.”

“I should go.” That was beyond true. 

Lucien was trusting, and their relationship was relaxed, but practically snuggling with another man wasn’t right. Even if it was all she wanted to do at the moment. 

“Okay.”

“I hope we can be friends in the future,” she said, trying to maintain polite normalcy. “But only if you tell me your name.”

Once again, those amber eyes slid over her, and she was very, very grateful she’d crossed her arms. “We’re never going to be friends, Elain.”

The way he said it didn’t feel like a rejection; it felt like a challenge. Her body thrummed, even as she shook her head slightly and started back down the stairs. 

The picture of his face followed her all the way into her apartment, sticking in her head until she fell asleep with a soft smile on her face. 

~

The next morning, she woke up and had breakfast with Lucien, who hardly glanced up from his eggs as he asked, “Where’d you go last night? I heard you get up.”

Her heart started to race even though she’d done nothing wrong. Technically. Calming her voice, she said, “I went to the roof to check on the garden. Couldn’t sleep.”

Lucien just shrugged, knowing this was pretty typical for her. 

She knew she should tell him she’d met their new neighbor, but for some reason, her mouth stayed shut. Probably because she didn’t even know his name. 

It definitely wasn’t because she’d almost kissed him. 

“I have to go; I have an early meeting.” He worked at a corporate finance place downtown, so this wasn’t exactly groundbreaking. He got up from the table, navy suit slightly wrinkled, and kissed her brow. “Thanks for breakfast. I’ll come back Friday, okay?”

This also wasn’t news. He stayed at her place a few nights a week, most of the time Sunday and Friday. She didn’t go to his that often because she didn’t have a car and liked to walk to work. 

Elain nodded and smiled, then went to get ready once he’d left. 

Were twenty-four year-olds supposed to feel like this? Like they were stuck on a conveyor belt, destined to do the same thing for the rest of her life?

It sometimes felt like she’d gone to sleep and woken up in the life of a fifty-year old housewife. 

Whenever he stayed over, he liked coming home to a clean house and meal, so she cooked for him, pretending to love it, when in reality, she’d be just as happy eating takeout on the sofa. 

She greeted him with a smile, and they talked and watched TV together, then went to bed at the same time every night. 

And gods, it was starting to get boring. 

Even the sex was starting to follow a routine. It wasn’t written down, but Elain had noticed they slept together at the beginning of the month, then not at all for a few weeks. 

She missed the beginning of the relationship, when they were so in love and crazy about each other they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.  

She didn’t expect fireworks after being together for so long, but... it had only been two years. And despite never mentioning it, Lucien was bound to propose at some point. 

Could she do this for the rest of her life? Go to work, come home, cook, go to bed? Did she love him enough for fifty years of the same routine?

That thought shocked her. Of course she did. 

He was perfect for her. He didn’t keep secrets, had a good job, and treated her with kindness and respect. So what if the fizzle had worn off? 

So what if she got more turned on sitting on a cold bench next to a complete stranger than after actual foreplay with her boyfriend?

It meant nothing. 

At least, that’s what she told herself as she put on a light blue dress and sandals and fixed her hair. 

Once she was ready, she walked outside and started down the street to her store. It was only a five minute walk, one of her favorite things about her apartment’s location. 

“Elain,” came a low voice from right next to her. 

Surprised, she turned to see her brand new neighbor walking next to her. Just like last night, he was dressed in dark jeans and a black t-shirt. But with the light she could make out his features better, and it did nothing to sway her of how attractive she found him. 

“Good morning.”

He smiled, and she found herself mimicking the expression. 

I mean, when someone who looked like a villainous Prince Charming smiled at you, you smiled back. 

“Better now,” he told her in a low tone, still smirking. 

“You’re a horrible flirt,” she laughed, brushing off how the comment made her skin tingle. 

“Horrible?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting one as they walked. “I’ll have to step up my game then. You look beautiful today.”

“I amend my statement. You’re a mediocre flirt.”

He blew a cloud of smoke around him and rolled his eyes, and she grinned agian. She did that a lot around him, she realized. It was easy to. 

There was just something alluring about him. He was dark and cold and beyond mysterious, but also sensual in a way she’d never seen before. It both threw her off guard and made her want to be reckless for once in her life. 

“Where are you going?”

“Work. I own the flower shop down on third street,” she told him proudly. The shop was her life’s work, and it made her insanely happy to tell people about it. 

“The Archeron?” he asked, and her brows shot up in surprise. “I work across the street. Start today, actually.”

“Oh, at the tattoo place?” 

The idea of getting a needle stabbed into her skin over and over again made her nauseous. 

Azriel noticed her expression. “You ever come in, I’ll give you a discount.”

“I’ll absolutely never take you up on the offer, but thank you. If you ever want a lovely bouquet, feel free to come on in.”

His hazel eyes met hers. “And what if I just want to see you? Do I still have to buy flowers?” There was a blush on her cheeks, and his eyes darkened when he saw it. “I like making you blush.”

Gods above, the man wasn’t giving up. 

She was surprised to find she didn’t want him to. 

She deflected anyway. “Fine. You’re an average flirt.” 

“Oh, baby girl, you have no idea.” They were somehow already in front of her shop, and he looked through the window and grimaced. “On second thought, if I want to see you, I’ll just knock on your door. Lot of flowers in there.”

“That’s kind of the point,” she reminded him, blocking out the picture of Azriel coming over to her apartment. “If I want to see you, who should I ask for?”

Humor flickered across his hard features, but he still shot down the request. 

“If you need me, I’ll be across the street encouraging people to make horrible decisions.”

Laughing, she unlocked the store and watched him walk away. Somehow, even though it was broad daylight, he was a spot of darkness on the street. 

She didn’t even know his name, but she was tempted to follow him, just to see his smile again. If seeing him smile made her feel that happy, how would it be to hear his laugh? 

More than anything, she wanted to find out.

And Elain knew right there that he’d been completely right: they would never be friends. 

______________________________________________________________

Part 2

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