#ill never get another chance at highschool??

[plebplush]

I recently rewatched gravity falls like im sure everyone else has these past couple months. apparently my partner had never seen it despite us both being the prime demographic at time of airing. they enjoyed it so much we were both hurt there was no more.

we both understand why there can never be a season 3 but the bittersweet "summer is over and we can never come back here" hit more like 500 freight trucks straight to the heart than I remembered...

something about a place you can only remember :/

[nucleo-bang-tan]

Grayscale Pt.2 | JJK

Pairing/s: Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Cheating AU, highschool sweethearts, first love

Rating/s: No detailed explicit content, but wouldn't recommend it for minors.

Warning/s: SH!!, Major heartbreak (duh), Jungkook is literally a liar and a dirty, dirty cheat (not irl, he's an angel), mentions of sex with another woman, lmk if I'm forgetting anything.

A/N: Please leave comments, I would love to hear from you guys. Critique my writing and tell me if I'm doing anything wrong, really appreciate it.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Gaeul never wanted this. She never wanted to feel like such a disappointment. But whenever she was with you, she felt like one.

Ever since she transferred to your school, she was no longer the center of attraction. You were so, so kind and so patient with everyone, even with her.

You had helped Gaeul with adjusting to her new school even when you barely knew her.

At her previous school, Gaeul was the top student, and top athlete. But when her father succumbed to his illnesses, she had no option but to move in with her uncle.

The change of pace affected her studies and performance a lot but Gaeul could always count on you to help her with anything.

She would never admit that to some extent, she was jealous of you. Jealous of the attention you received.

"Hey, umm... Gaeul, was it?" She was caught off guard by her crush, Jeon Jungkook.

She tried her best to act nonchalant. Maybe he was trying to finally ask her out.

She fiddled with the cuffs of her school uniform, "Yeah? What's up?"

The anticipation was building up in her belly, or was it just the butterflies he gave her?

"You're friends with Y/n, right?" The mention of your name almost made her lose her cool.

Ofcourse you two were friends, not close ones, but friends nevertheless.

"Y-yeah, what about it?" She tried to contain her distaste towards you. Yet again, you took the attention, but this time, from the person Gaeul wanted the most.

"Does she... she doesn't have a boyfriend, right? I'm asking for a friend." He said.

She sighed, "She doesn't. Her parents would never let her. They'd kill her."

Gaeul could see Jungkook's face light up.

He smiled, "So, it's her parents? She can't have a boyfriend because of her parents?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"So would you do me a favour?" Jungkook asked.

"Sure, what is it?" Maybe it was her only chance to get closer to Jungkook, she wasn't going to risk it.

"Bring her to the basketball game this evening. I- my friend will handle the rest."

Gaeul wasn't dumb, she knew this wasn't for his friend. But whatever, she thought, you were probably too stuck up to date someone like Jungkook anyway.

Jungkook was really easy-going and shy and always loved to beat your ass in a match.

You on the other hand loved confident guys and were competitive. It wasn't surprising to know that half the school had a crush on you and Jungkook was among them.

But there was no way you would like Jungkook, right? Right...?

Oh, Gaeul was so wrong. She realised it way too late when she saw you two kissing in the gymnasium.

So after she balled her eyes out for a day or two, she decided it's enough. She was tired of you being better than her.

"Gaeul!" You approached her and hugged her.

"Hey, Y/n." She feigned a smile.

"I cannot thank you enough. You unknowingly helped me and Jungkook a lot."

She realised that she could one-up you. You were hot, for sure. But Gaeul had experience, she could seduce Jungkook easily.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Would you stop? I'm not telling Y/n about this because you are her best friend. Think about her." Jungkook had pulled Gaeul aside. "Plus, don't you have a boyfriend? Second one this month?"

Your friend group was at a club celebrating your nineteenth birthday. You were finally legal and Jungkook decided he'd teach you a thing or two about drinking.

She put a hand on the man's chest and stepped closer, "They would never know. Plus, you have your needs. I'm sure you won't be satisfied by her."

"Shut up, Gaeul. Stop trying to make moves on me, it's not going to work." He walked back to the bar where you were getting a bit too tipsy.

Your best friend watched as he led you outside the club, probably to get you back to your shared apartment.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

But one faithful night for Gaeul, was when you were sick and she found Jungkook studying in the college library alone.

Jungkook didn't notice her until she sat beside him, her skimpy skirt riding up catching his eye.

He cleared his throat and whispered, "What do you want?"

She leaned forward and whispered back, "You know what I want." And placed a hand on his well-built thigh.

But surprisingly, he didn't react to her touch as usual—like it was poison.

He was extremely stressed due to his finals. You being sick didn't help.

"Why do you do this?" He asked eyeing her legs.

"Maybe because I can love you more than Y/n could ever dream of."

He raised his eyebrow, "Trust me, I don't even wanna know. I can't do this right now, just leave."

Her hand trailed up, "Maybe you could use a little stress relief?"

Jungkook tried to make sense of it all, why did he do it? He loved you more than anything, more than he could ever imagine loving anyone. Yet, he found himself buried inside some other girl.

When he returned home, he hoped you were asleep because he was sure he couldn't face you. But you weren't, you stayed up, waiting for him.

He cried in your arms, muttering around a hundred sorry's. He never said why he was apologising. But you kept saying you loved him through it all which made it worse for him.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Jungkook got up from her bed, finding his shirt, "We can't keep doing this, I-"

"You give in to me all the time, Jungkook. I'm starting to feel bad for Y/n." Gaeul passed him his underwear.

"You're literally the worst person in the world and not to mention the best actor." He slung his bag over his shoulder and looked at her naked form for what he promised himself was the last time.

She smirked, "I'd do it all for love."

"Fuck you."

And fuck her is what he did over the years. Over and over and over again. He knew it was strictly physical for him but for her, he was the love of her life.

He decided to get married to you and maybe then Gaeul would stop. But it was him, he was the problem. He couldn't stop himself.

He knew you were more than enough for him. He could give you all the love he had with him then why?

He gave up at some point, he gave up trying to be loyal to you.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Jungkook?" You sat beside him on the couch.

"Yeah, baby?" He looked up from his phone, a smile still evident on his features. No doubt, he was texting her.

Jungkook noticed the change in your behaviour and appearance. You didn't wear his hoodies, the colour under your eyes became darker by the day, you rejected cuddles and never even asked or let him have sex with you, which was weird since the both of you had similar drives.

And the worst of it all, he didn't see you smile during these days.

So now, he was a bit surprised when he realised you initiated a conversation.

He placed his phone aside and slid closer to you. He didn't offer you any hugs or cuddles because he knew something was off.

"Eunwoo's gonna come over to help me with something." Your voice cracked despite your efforts to be stable and calm about it.

He smiled, "Yeah? Sure, we can have him over for as long as you'd like. But why can't I help you?"

"It's nothing. He'll be here in a few hours." You got up and tried to leave. Much to your dismay, your husband held your wrist to stop you.

"Are you alright, baby?" The question almost made you scoff. But you didn't. You wanted to scream at yourself because you didn't scoff at him and leave.

Instead, you melted into his touch and smiled.

"I'm- yeah, I'm good." You said as he pulled you onto his lap. The feeling was so familiar, almost like it was second nature to you.

You wanted to slap him, yell at him, throw a tantrum. But you didn't.

You sighed as your body softened. He caressed your hair, it was an instinct.

"Tell me." He whispered while kissing the top of your head.

You gulped, this was bad. This was so, so bad. You never wanted to be in this position with him today. You should have left. But you didn't.

Instead, you let him kiss you. You were human afterall, how could you stop yourself from loving your own husband?

It felt like home.

He felt like home.

But you weren't his.

Your own best friend could provide him with more comfort than you could.

You sighed into the kiss, letting him take over.

Just one more time wouldn't hurt, right? Letting him take care of you just once more? You begged yourself not to fall into him even if it was the last time. But you couldn't help yourself.

You broke the kiss, eyes tearing up, "Jungkook..."

"What is it, baby?" He pulled you into a hug.

It took you a few seconds to calm your breaths, "Am I enough?"

He pulled back to look you straight in the eyes, lying to you was a second nature to him at this point, "Yeah, baby. I would never want anyone but you."

You smiled, "You sure?"

Jungkook couldn't help but feel as if something, heck, a lot was off about your question.

He should have been truthful, he should have been honest at the time, maybe you would have stayed, "I'd never lie to you."

You couldn't help but chuckle a bit at his response making him confused. There was no way you found out anything about him and Gaeul, right?

You got up, "I'll just be in the bedroom..."

It was so casual, as if you didn't know anything. It was so uncanny for Jungkook. As if it was a normal day for you two. But it was anything but normal.

After a while, one of your college friends, Eunwoo rang the doorbell. You didn't even need to think twice before opening it.

Your friend was fuming to say the least and mind you, Eunwoo was never even angry.

"Where is he?" He asked.

"Eunwoo, I just... let's just leave." You said giving him space to come inside the house.

"Leave? You want to just leave after what he did?" He asked, frowning.

You sighed, eyes in a constant state of glistening, "I don't want to-"

"Hey, man. What's up?" Your husband walked in, greeting your friend.

But instead of some kind words, Eunwoo was quick to greet him with his fist to Jungkook's jaw.

The hit was so hard and sudden, it made him fall onto the floor.

"Jungkook!" You gasped trying to get to him but Eunwoo didn't let you. He held you behind him, protecting you like Jungkook was a wild animal and your friend was your guard.

Your husband was stunned but didn't stay down for long. He wiped his bloody lip with the back of his hand.

"You befriend my wife, come to my house and hit me? What the fuck was that?"

Eunwoo chuckled bitterly, "You don't deserve to call her your wife. That was for what you did."

Surely, you didn't know about Gaeul and him. But the way Eunwoo just hit him told him something else.

"I don't want this, let's leave, please." You tried to reason with him.

Jungkook looked visibly confused to which Eunwoo replied, "I'm taking her to my house."

"W-What do you mean?" Jungkook's eyes caught yours.

"Do I really need to explain, Jeon? I'm talking about Gaeul and you. I can't let Y/n stay here with you."

All the colour on Jungkook's face instantly turned pale, the only contrast being his busted lip.

"Y/n, it's not- I- no..." He looked at you for anything, a single word but all you did was look away, tears threatening to fall.

"Don't even try to explain, she's leaving with me."

Jungkook blinked, processing it all. You couldn't leave him. There was no way he was letting you leave with someone else.

"Y/n, please hear me out... it was nothing, I tried to-" He was cut off by another hit to his jaw making him stumble backwards.

This time you didn't bother to look at him. You knew Eunwoo was holding himself back for you. You couldn't bear seeing Jungkook hurt like that.

"You actually have no shame, huh? Stop trying to explain anything. I know, she knows."

Jungkook walked towards you, trying to touch you, he was already crying. But Eunwoo didn't let him near you.

"Please, Y/n, listen to me. I- please..." His voice came out coarse and his breath, bated.

Eunwoo looked disgusted at him, after what he did, he should not even have a chance to explain himself. But Jungkook fell onto his knees, looking up at you.

"I beg you, Y/n. Don't leave me. Please. I love you. I love you more than anything."

But you couldn't bear to look at him, instead, you looked at Eunwoo and silently whispered to him, "Shall we leave?" Your tears betrayed your commands.

Your friend took your hand in his, and led you away from Jungkook, away from the love of your life. Away from everything you ever had.

Jungkook knew he couldn't stop you. Not when you had your friend with you, not when he knew you didn't want to stay.

But he still rushed to you, and hugged your legs, "I can't do this without you, Y/n. Please, please.... don't do this to me."

You looked down and caressed his hair, all you could do was smile, "I love you, Jungkook. You are my everything, but I'm not yours."

"No, no, Y/n. I don't want anything or anyone but you. I promise you the world."

"You did that 11 years ago as well, but look at us now." You kept caressing his hair, it felt so familiar.

Jungkook knew there was nothing he could do, "No, I-"

"Get off of her, that's enough."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Gaeul entered the house in a rush, "Jungkook?"

The said man was lying practically lifeless on the couch. He didn't even bother to see or acknowledge her.

"Jungkook, hey baby. Finally, she left. I heard-"

Jungkook just simply whispered, "Get out..."

"What?"

"Get the fuck out of my house..."

"What's wrong? Aren't you relieved that she left?"

"I don't want to see your face, ever. Just go away before I do something."

Gaeul flinched, "Kookie, come on..."

"I said..." Jungkook yelled at her, "...get the fuck out before I hurt you."

"What did I do?" She backed away.

"What did you do? You ruined everything. And for what? Some high school jealousy? I love her, Gaeul. Never in a million years can I live without her."

She looked annoyed, "After all these years? You still love her? Then why the fuck would you fuck me? Say all those pretty words to me instead of her?"

Jungkook had no idea why.

He was the one who ruined it all, Gaeul was just a factor. But blaming her made it much less painful than it already was.

"I never loved you, Gaeul. I've always loved Y/n. You have never been enough for me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You have always known it's going to be her, I would never want to be with you."

Gaeul blinked, trying to process it all. She knew Jungkook didn't love her but saying it out loud in this way?

She had originally planned to ruin your relationship as a challenge for herself, but along the way, she fell in love. And Jungkook always ignored it.

She always assumed it was because he didn't want a messy break up and loved the thrill of it all.

"Jungkook..."

He closed his eyes and covered his eyes with his forearm, not wanting to see or hear anymore from her.

"So that's it? We're over?" She looked at him for a denial.

"How delusional can you be? We never were anything."

She chuckled, "And that is why you ruined your marriage?"

"And what about you? Feeling better about your insecure self?" He replied.

"Jungkook, listen to me. We can start over, leave her behind..."

And that is how Jungkook ended up throwing her out of the house.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A knock on your door woke you up. You had no idea when you fell asleep, exhausted from all the happenings and crying.

Every moment felt like a burden to you. Every breath felt heavy. You had poured everything in for Jungkook and now you were completely drained.

You told yourself repeatedly, it was not your fault, not even a bit. But you couldn't deny that you tried to ignore all the bright red signs.

You sat up, your arms barely helped. The brush of your shirt against your stomach burned because of the fresh cuts you gave yourself.

You were living at Eunwoo's house for the past 2 weeks. He had been really supportive through every single bit of this ordeal. He even let you sleep on the bed while he rested on the couch.

Staying with him felt really comfortable, he made sure you had everything you needed. But it reminded you of Jungkook, and how he never let anything bother you.

"Hey... are you alright?" He said, entering.

You smile, "Much better I think. Cried more than I should."

"I uh- I'm sorry for this but..."

"But what?"

"Someone..." He sighed, "Jungkook is here to talk to you."

You looked down at your sleeve-clad hands on your lap, you knew this time was coming. You knew you had to talk to him. Forgiveness was not an option but talking would help a lot with the closure.

You had blocked Jungkook a couple of days after you left. He never stopped calling, not even for a single minute, hoping you'd pick up. Everytime he did, your heart physically ached for him.

But despite this, you weren't sure if you could talk to him without breaking down.

You weren't sure how you survived this long.

You didn't want to survive this long.

"I'll stay here while you two talk, is that fine?" Eunwoo asked.

You took a deep breath. You had thought this through, "I wanna be alone with him."

"Are you sure, I don't mind staying here."

"It's going to be fine, Eunwoo."

Your friend nodded and stepped aside and left letting your ex-lover step inside.

You could barely recognise him. He looked extremely dehydrated and starved. His cheeks no longer held their plumpness. His eyes only seemed to hold life the moment they were laid on you. He looked drunk. But you could tell he made an effort to look presentable to you.

The two of you mirrored each other when your eyes met. Jungkook, however, was the first to let his tears flow.

"Y/n..." He tested the waters by slowly walking towards the bed you were sitting on.

He kneeled down near the edge and extended his arms to touch you. But you didn't let him and it didn't take a genius to understand why.

"S-Say what you want to, Jungkook." You mentally cursed at yourself for stuttering. But how were you supposed to stay calm?

Jungkook had a whole speech prepared. He wanted to apologise for everything he did, everything he lied about and assurr you that he'd never do it again.

But all he could mutter up was, "I'm sorry, Y/n..."

"How long?" You asked. You were always a calm person, and always relied on Jungkook to stand up for you.

He gulped at your stern tone, "5 years..."

The crack in your heart could be heard by him. Tears were long out of your control.

"Y-You... for 5 fucking years?" You cried, "You were with that bitch for 5 years? Jungkook, did you ever even love me?"

"I love you, Y/n, please believe me on this. It was strictly physical with Gaeul."

You scoffed, "Does that even matter!? You fucked my best friend for 5 years, Jungkook. You fucked her when I was right beside you two."

His eyes widened, he had no idea you were awake at the time. He looked at you with pure pain in his eyes. Jungkook wasn't much of an empath but he could feel everything when he was with you.

"If you loved me..." You sobbed, "...you would've told me what the hell was wrong with me. Wasn't I enough?"

"No, no, Y/n, baby. You are more than enough, I-"

Jungkook's eyes landed on your wrist where your sleeve had ridden up. He looked more heartbroken than ever. As if the ground under his feet suddenly decided it didn't want to hold him up.

"Y/n... y-you started again?"

It took you a while but when you realised what he was referring to, you quickly covered your whole body with a blanket, still feeling as if it wasn't enough.

"Please..." He bowed down with his head on the edge of the bed, "...please forgive me, I- I never wanted this to happen..."

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at him, "But it did happen, Jungkook. And I can never forgive you for it. Maybe if it was a one night thing, heck, even a few couple of times. But we're talking 5 years."

He continued crying with his head down. You reached out to touch the back of his hand, which was held in a fist.

He immediately relaxed at your action.

"You humiliated me, Jungkook. Y-You keep apologising but it won't change the fact."

He looked up at you, you face kind as ever. He wanted you to be screaming at him, throwing stuff at him, he didn't even mind if you beat the living shit out of him. He hated this, he hated this so much.

He was the cause of what you were going through, he was the exact things he tried all his life to save you from—pain and disappointment.

"Jungkook?" You said, ever-so-calmly. But everything that had happened was evident in your shaky voice.

"Y-Yeah?"

"Do you love me? Even a little bit?"

It didn't take a single millisecond for him to answer, "Never have I ever loved anything more than I love you..."

"Then, let me let go of you." You whispered, bringing his hand to your lips and placing one last small kiss.

He shuddered, trying his best to not let go of your hand, but it slipped.

Everything he ever had, everything he ever wanted, lost.

You didn't say anything, you didn't need to. Jungkook knew you better than you did, he knew what your words signified. It was the end. The end of everything.

The sound of the door opening, Eunwoo speaking, everything seemed drowned out for him.

He didn't say anything either, he just got up and left. He didn't know where to, he didn't have a home, just an empty shell of what used to be.

[dominikspunk]

Thought id never see you again. | | Dominik x Fem Reader ★.

An: I randomly thought of this out of nowhere so writing this before I forget

————————————ᥫ᭡————————————

March 2021.

“ Y/n you have to understand this is the way wrestling works. ” Vince said .

“ I'm not saying I wanted it my way, I'm saying I'm tired of the way you treat me, I been in this company for a really long time, if you don't give me the opportunity I have then I'm gonna walk out. ” I told him.

“ Y/n you know your not gonna walk out , everybody knows it. Now accept the contact. ”

‘ I had enough with him but the fans was all I have . ’

“ No. ” I said to him knowing I have a match against Natalya tonight.

After i left, Vince let the producers know to tell Michael Cole to announce that I walked out of the arena .

“ If I could have your attention please Y/S/N had a match against Natalya tonight but unfortunately Y/S/N has walked out of the arena and disappointed many of you wwe fans. ” Michael Cole said.

————————————ᥫ᭡————————————

Monday Night Raw 2023

I was waiting for my music to hit for the surprise return after walking out and joining WWE'S Rival AEW .

I were gonna come out and interrupt Raquel Rodriguez And Be a heel once again.

“ And I'm gonna break every single 3 of you to get thru Rhea and get my title that i desv- ” Raquel Said

Fans cheered when they heard my music.

The producers put their camera on me and obviously I was hugging my fans.

“ you mean 4 of us if you can even get thru me to go to rhea. But let's face it.. you don't even have the chance to winning it. ” I told her in the mic while getting in the ring standing next to my ex boyfriend dom.

dominik was my boyfriend in highschool for a year we broken up , we got back together when he joined WWE we later went to our separate ways.

After our segment we went backstage, everyone was telling me congratulations and welcome back.

i was catering then i saw a figure coming towards me, when I got a look of his face i saw dominik.

“ hey, y/n ” dominik told me

“ hey dom. ” I told him not knowing what to say after not talking for a long time

“ i thought I'd never seen you again. ” he said while looking at me .

“ well I thought I'd never be returning and seeing you with a mullet ” i told him jokingly

“ yeah you got me there ” he said putting his hand on his head

“ it's okay i love the mullet you have , never thought you could pull it off tho ” i said to him hoping we can be like this.

“ yeah, but can we please talk tho , i know we already talking but i need to get this out. I don't know why we went our separate ways. i miss you alot , everything reminds me of you. please please please give us another chance . ” he said to me with those eyes.

“ I don't know dom. but ill see how it goes okay? ”

“ okay.”

————————————ᥫ᭡————————————

AN:this is horrible I hate it

[shveris]

rant about 261, spoilers, gojo character analysis ft. my bestie who doesn’t even know a lot abt jjk

imagine growing up in a family that almost works like a cult. and you are born with two rare abilities at the same time — the last person to have those simultaneously has passed 500 years ago. and your whole ass family/cult/clan treats you like just a weapon to be used in the greater scheme of things. you grow up with no friends, you only know pain and torture and sore muscles after training. but you’re the strongest. and the most loneliest because no one will ever understand you.

then you get into a school that promises to teach you even more, make you even stronger. you meet this one guy who seems to be like you — not the same but similar. suddenly you’re not alone anymore.

the second year of highschool approached, you have the best two friends by your side and they understand you, they support you, they have your back. your principal sends you on a mission with your best friend because you’re the strongest together. together.

everything goes well until it doesn’t, you get killed. you revive yourself. you kill your killer.

you carry the corpse of a girl you called your friend and almost lose it.

septemper 28th, your best friend massacres a village and leaves you his button as a silent love confession. they want you to kill him but you can’t, he’s your other half — he made you feel complete because all you knew your whole life was bitter and cold loneliness.

a decade passes, you’re grown up and still the strongest, you’re teaching at the school you lost your happiness at. one of the students you saved from being killed — by yourself — and he looks up at you with so much respect, it makes you wonder how you can protect the children under your care forever. you’ll certainly try your best.

your other half suddenly turns up and declares war. you remain mostly silent.

the fight was pure chaos but you find your way to him anyway — because you belong together. you tell him you love him. he laughs. you kill him. you can’t even burn his body.

another year passes, you’ve taken in another boy who ate curses like your dead best friend. they told you to kill him (a mere child) and you said no because you were always selfish. you were certain you could protect this boy until it was time to execute him for good. you just wanted him to have a chance at teenagehood, something you never had the chance to experience properly.

the days get colder and you get trapped. those eyes stare at you, your other half, who should be dead, as the prison closes around you. it reeks of death. you wait.

the second you get released, you teleport to his body. you want to kill whatever is using the corpse of that man but the body of the boy you saw as your own son stopped you.

on 24th of december you fight who was once your son and he kills you — cut in half, with a cleave so powerful it could shred the universe itself. but it was okay because when you opened your eyes, you saw your other half.

the first boy you protected and guided took over your corpse, using as what you were always meant to be: just a weapon.

no one seemed to care about a proper burial after you fought for your life just to save theirs; to protect them from any more harm so they could just be kids.

none of that mattered to them because everyone has always seen you as a weapon, except for your other half, sitting next to you in that empty airport.

i kinda just dropped this in his dms a few hours after the initial leaks. it’s actually pathetic how attached i am to a fictional character, the last time that happened was with oikawa and i was a hormonal teenager. i’m a whole ass adult now but still the same level of mentally ill and neurodivergent so guess that’s the perfect mix to make this happen

some more thoughts from our convo (i love him for trying to distract me):

[caernys]

i only dream (when i'm lying down)

relationship: spencer reid x reader, romantic pairing (part two)

summary: you're an agent of the violent crimes division of the fbi and you’ve fallen in love with spencer reid.

notes: also posted on my AO3 account, kitkat_katsuki

trigger warnings: vague mention of a dead body, and guns

part one -> part two

spencer reid was an anomaly and he knew it. he was used to being the smartest person in the room, a mysterious kid with an iq that could rival einstein’s– and he loved it. there was a certain rush that came from thinking circles around someone, being able to calculate equations with his mind. there were downsides, of course, but this is how he was put on this earth and he was going to make the best of it.

what was the use of hiding a mind that could remember anything? dumbing himself down to tend to others’s egos and adhere to normal standards? spencer reid was anything but normal, and he knew it.

another anomaly: spencer reid had trouble with women. morgan would tell you that that was anything but an anomaly, but morgan could get a date by handcuffing himself to a table and letting people line up.

contrary to popular belief, spencer reid knows how to talk to women. he knows how to talk to them once he’s comfortable, and then it comes easy, but spencer reid does not get comfortable easy.

he supposes it’s from his horror story of a highschool experience, but everytime he opens his mouth he finds himself on guard, closed off and wary. logically, he knows that there’s an extremely low chance that a random girl he meets at a club with the team will strip him naked and tie him to a flag pole, but he can’t help but worry about it. just a little bit.

the chance is never zero.

(also, he deals with the absolute worst part of humanity for a living, and grabriella kingston and her crazy psychopathic pole tendencies seem to pop up in every third person he meets. he’s allowed to employ a little caution, damn it.)

so when he’s following penelope, who’s tearing out of her apartment and running down the stairs, he can’t help but think about what he’s going to say to the woman on the security feed that penelope had pulled up on her computer. 

the women who had shot penelope’s almost-killer, jar of peanut butter cookies in her right hand and a gun in her left, hands steady and eyes cold. 

she was beautiful.

spencer had a few issues talking with beautiful women, because beautiful women looked like gabriella kingston, and gabriella kingston lured him to a football field and stripped him naked and tied him to a pole.

and it was exactly because of those ever present issues that the first words he said to you were, “did you know that cows and horses only dream when they sleep lying down?”

[][][][][][][][][][][]

the first thing you did after firing the shot was drop your gun and put your hands in the air. you weren’t stupid enough to keep holding a gun in an fbi building while wearing civilian clothes. your badge was in the back pocket of your jeans, so you slowly moved to set the cookies down and turn around, hands still clasped behind your head.

“there’s a badge in my pocket,” you said, motioning slightly to the left one with an outstretched elbow. “i’m fbi. violent crimes.”

the man behind you, who had pulled a gun from a desk drawer pretty much as soon as you had fired the shot, slowly approached.

“which pocket?”

“left.” 

his hand pulled lightly on the edge of the pocket, the cold metal of his gun nosing into the your lower back. you waited while he flipped to your id picture, then flicked the whole thing to the shivering analyst who still looked slightly ill.

he examined it, pecked a few keys on the laptop, and gave a quick, jerky nod to the man. he lowered his gun.

you shifted your weight to your right foot, then solely lowered your hands. the man stepped around from behind you and outstretched his hand. you didn’t take it.

he let it hang there for a few moments before his fingers curled into a slightly exasperated fist and he dropped his arm to his side. his lips pulled slightly down at the corners, and he moved to hook his thumbs in the pockets of his slacks.

“i already know your name, but i’m hotch. you didn’t need to step in back there.”

oh, go to hell.

“yeah.” you step past him, wrap your hands around the jar of peanut butter cookies. your eyes flick over the body laying on the floor. okay— maybe it hadn’t been your finest moment. but for all “hotch” knows, you’d probably just saved his stupid life.

“you just executed a man!” hotch snapped, and you kept moving, not turning around. if he wanted, you could cite the exact bylaw in the fbi regulations that allowed you to take down an armed and clearly crazy man threatening agents inside the building. besides— you’d have to do the paperwork, not him.

you dropped the peanut butter cookies on the nearest flat surface and resolved to text penelope their approximate location as soon as you were downstairs. you took the long way across the room, neatly avoiding the sprawled corpse that was starting to leak on the carpet. 

maybe you should stay and clean that up.

hotch was still yelling, and you were still moving. you were halfway out the door and going strong when something collided agasint you.

[][][][][][][][][][][]

the flying object (that you had noted and catalogued while it was still hurtling at the speed of neon colors and boas five feet away) was penelope. you maneuvered her agasint your body and back through the front entrance where she’d come, blocking her view of the body.

there was no need to further upset her.

not that penelope couldn’t handle it, of course— penelope was one of the strongest people you knew. but just becuase she could didn’t mean she had to.

just like you techinically could try austin’s gravy that she had devised from the depths of hell, but you didn’t have to. something which you had made abundantly clear.

the familiar weight of her in your arms was both comforting and refreshing. the assault of colors and the warm hug briefly drew your attention, but you could clearly see dr. spencer reid standing behind her.

spencer reid was your white whale. you say that never having read moby dick and not truly understanding the metaphor, but the sentient was there:

your elusive arch-nemesis.

the little goal that you used to dream of surpassing.

the goal you had surpassed.

the man in the stupid patterned little suit that no self-respecting doctor would wear to a charity ball. (even if it was kind of cute.)

spencer reid.

he’s cute. his fair flops almost frantically around his face, and he has a rather nervous energy around him. 

you open your mouth to greet him, but he beats you to the punch:

“did you know that cows and horses only dream when they sleep lying down?”

you can’t help it. you laugh. reid looks minorly crushed for the few seconds it take you to say:

“yeah, i did. but that’s an article from a few years ago, dr. reid. they just published an update with a rather fascinating dissection of the involved rem cycles.”

penelope giggles in your arms and you push them out to examine her. “you okay?”

she looks a little frayed around the edges but nods and leans forward to nip lightly at your mouth. you smile and lean back on your toes, moving subtly out of her reach.

so maybe you wanted to look slightly available for doctor reid. so what?

reid bounces forward eagerly, shoves his fingers out for a handshake, then aborts halfway through and stumbles a little in his haste to return his hand to his pocket.

normally, you would’ve introduced yourself, but the adrenaline rush from the confrontation with the gunman has faded and the restless night you had yesterday is catching up with you.

penelope seems to notice, and starts to guide you to the elevator, looking harshly back at hotch’s cough of protest. spencer waves after you. 

“i’ll see you later, then?” he asks, and you look over your shoulder.

“definitely.”

[i-love-my-dorks-and-simps]

addressing my abandoned wg comic for my wg followers:

(ty @cargoshortsenjoyer for the suggestion!)

it will likely never be completed so as a result ill be sharing the basic ideas i had planned out for it below:

it was a highschool au staring becky/wg and tobey as being in a relationship (where tobey doesnt know becky is wordgirl)

important context for this au:

after some time of their elementary shenanigans, in middle school, tobey quits being a supervillain due to his aspirations of having a normal life. he's tired of pining over someone he knows will never reciprocate, and even more so of working so hard on his inventions that go unnoticed by everyone, especially his mother. (mommy issues alert)

after tobey's disappearance from villainy, becky/wg gets concerned for his wellbeing and check up on him (as becky). after seeing hes decided to change his ways for once (given its been years since wg originally takes place) she gives him a chance at friendship from which their rivalry turns into a sweet yet playfully competitive relationship with one another by the time theyre in highschool.

au starts:

the two are roughly in junior/senior year (undecided) nearing the end of highschool by the time the au takes place as tobey sees how the stress of school has taken a toll on becky. they have a conversation about it with tobey doing his best to comfort her when she mentions how much the supervillain population in fair city has been affecting her. being a former villain himself this sparks tobeys interest and he starts to pay more attention to his surroundings.

thats when he realizes the sheer amount of villains that had come since he quit. given they only have 2.5 heroes pulling the work of a city practically run by villains, tobey notices the imbalance there is. he finds it unjust that this has to be the state becky goes through everyday. he knows how important justice is to her (she also wants to be a district attorney like her mother) and decides to take things into his own hands

he takes out his robots for the first time in years, (only bigger and better than the ones he made when he was 10 (he's had more time to hone his skills in private)) and begins to "apprehend" supervillains in town, which prompts wordgirl to swoop into his robot warehouse to see whats been going on. (where else would he store those things? his backyard?)

from here tobey tells wg all about how hes being a hero now and creating less trouble or innocent citizens out there when she tell his that this is not the world becky (herself) would have wanted at all. shes not happy to see him like this again knowing the progress hes made and she doesnt want to fight him again after all this time.

events after the existing two parts i posted:

from there on tobey enlists the help of other 'retired' supervillains to achieve his goal of making fair city a better place (for becky). the story continues on as becky/wg urge him to stop and think about what hes been doing which he stubbornly disagrees with her, putting strain on their relationship.

throughout this tobey starts to adopt a savior complex and truly thinks its his duty to cleanse the world of villainy. everyone in fair city is too dense to realize what him and becky do. the fact that just jailing the villains alone wont stop them from crime. there needs to be an end. and he's going to be the one to do it. (adding onto this, tobey will eventually start to target regular criminals without superpowers after he gets rid of the supervillains through his mandated death penalty of those with unnatural abilities. at some point he will begin to view wg as a threat despite being a hero because she stands in his view of whats just. wg tries to save as many villains as she can and tobey is on her trail. at this point its likely rose may hold a part in his investigation, wanting to get closer to the action to get a better scoop.)

the fate of this au is undecided from here on (though there would be a ton of character moments unmentioned here to keep it from getting too long. i would love to touch on how tobecky is holding up throughout this alongside other characters reacting to the scenario (ex. family, friends, villains))

[jaesqueso]

Love me again

pairing: ex-boyfriend!lucas x female!reader

summary: when you encounter your ex-boyfriend after four years after your break up and he asks for another chance

for the Red collab by @jeonronwoo​

word count: 3,401

warnings: strong language, mentions of alcohol, domestic violence and mental illnesses, exes to lovers!au

a/n: I don’t how people are still feeling about Lucas but I already had this on the plans so I wanted to finish it and what a better time to post than when he makes a comeback to social media? hope SM gives us closure on the whole situation but in the mean time enjoy this poorly written story 😅 hope ya’ll enjoy it! ❤

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

“Thank you very much, you can wait at the end of the counter.” You smile at the costumer as you finish writing his name on the cup for his drink.

Getting ready on the system, you go ahead and great the next client.

“Welcome to ‘The Vision’, what can I get you today?”

“A venti iced coffee.” You stop recognising a voice you thought you’d never hear again. “And another chance?”

“L-Lucas?” Finally looking up, you freeze at a face you thought you’d never see again.

-

You met him in highschool. Typical bad boy, often spotted skipping class to go smoke behind the gym, his rudeness to colleagues and teachers constantly getting him detention but somehow managed to have good enough grades to get him through. Needless to say his popularity was not that great and he was definitely someone you wouldn’t like to be associated with. That was until you got pared with him for a school project.

You were the typical good girl. Not the best of your class but your grades were good. Never skipped or got detention, but you were classified as borderline nerdy so your popularity wasn’t through the roof. Honestly you didn’t care, you were just focused on finishing highschool and getting the hell out of this boring town. But for that you needed to keep your good grades and that was being threatened by getting pared with him.

At first you thought maybe you could do the whole project alone, that way you’d ensure you got a good grade and wouldn’t have to deal with him, but your conscience convinced you to give him a chance. That was error number one.

Almost an hour late, but Lucas eventually showed up at the library. It took some time to get him to do something but right before the deadline you two managed to get the project finished and delivered on time and you were actually surprised the under his careless atitude he actually did a good job that resulted in one of the best works on your class. After that you thought you could finally breathe and not have to hang out with him anymore but he had different plans. He sat next to you in class, even if it wasn’t in his typical seat in the back of the classroom, and you two started casually talking. As you got to know him better you realised that under that bad boy mask there was actually a nice guy so you let him in your life. That was error number two.

With time you grew closer and closer. The way he looked at you, talked with you, was different than with other people and you started feeling things. It all happened so naturally that when he leaned forward you gladly welcomed his lips on yours. That was error number three.

As the relationship grew, he opened up to you. You sat silently as he told you how his dad had problems with alcohol and used to hit his mom almost everyday, right in front of him, until he fled the scene. At the time Lucas was relieved but his mom just went into dark road into depression leaving him, an only child, to figure things out on his own. At that moment you understood the rebellion inside of him, it was not his fault. Foolishly in love you decided to help him, a typical case of ‘I can change him’ syndrome. That was error number four.

It took a while but you convinced him to let you help him study, so he can improve his grades and apply to college. It was hard work but your mission was successful and you even changed your plans to go to uni closer to him. That was error number five.

Moving into an apartment together, your relationship was better than ever and you couldn’t be happier. Lucas barely had any money so the house expenses pretty much fell over your parents pockets. Obviously they were not very happy with that but you defended him at all costs telling them how much he has changed. That was error number six.

A few months in something started to feel off. And then you found out he was failing most of his classes. You confronted him about it and, even though he seemed sorry about it, he told you he was quitting college. You argued about all the hard work you two had done to get him there but in the end you couldn’t force him to keep going. The following month he just either stayed in the house all day or just went out and spent money. Your parents money. Once they knew about this, they threatened to cut you off so you had a serious talk with Lucas that agreed to find himself a job and get some income. You trusted him and that was error number seven.

As you busted your ass with school and even getting a part-time job at a local cafe, you trusted he was doing what he promised, but it was a mess. He found a job at a bar but was fired about a week after, you don’t really understand why. He told you he was looking again but soon he started to come home drunk. The first time you pretended not to notice, after the second time you started to make up reasons in your head to excuse his behaviour, but then it started to get more frequent and it was starting to get on your nerves. A few weeks later, you were at home trying to relax after a dreadful day and there he came crumbling. But this time you had enough.

“Lucas?” You called out from the living room.

“Who else would it fucking be?” He mumbled, struggling to take off his jacket.

“Great…” Rolling your eyes, you leaned back on the couch.

“What now?” Finally he was able to take the jacket off and roughly throw it on the ground.

“It’s just great to see my boyfriend drunk in the middle of the day again.” You shook your head in disbelief of the words coming out of your mouth.

“Mind your fucking business.” His body tumbled to the other end of the couch.

“Well I am, when you’re out there spending my money on booze!” You got up, massaging your temples as you looked away from him.

“Oh, shut the fuck up.” He groaned, like he was doing nothing wrong.

“No, you shut the fuck up, Lucas! I’m tired of the same thing every day!” You turned back around almost screaming in rage.

“Whatever…” He huffed.

“Not whatever!” You finally let go.“I’m tired of busting my ass in school and work for you to just go ahead and have fun at my expense! You said you’re different but you’re just like your father-”

“What the fuck did you just say?” He suddenly got up preventing you for saying anything further.

“I-I’m sorry,” you quickly apologised as you shouldn’t have brought that up, “I didn’t mean to say that-”

“But you said it!” He rushed to you pushing you against the wall.”I’m not like that fucking coward you hear me?”

Your eyes widened as you noticed his hand pushed all the way back, tight in a fist and about to come down on you, before he stopped.

“Shit…” His flaming eyes came back to reality when he noticed what he was about to do.

“Were you going to hit me?” Your voice sounded stern but your whole body was shaking on the inside.

“Babe, I’m sorry-” Dropping his hands on his side, he gulped.

“Go ahead then. Hit me. Show me how different you are from your father by doing exactly what he did to your mom.” You challenged him.

“I…” He started to back away as he looked at his hands.

“I’m done Lucas.” You sighed. ”I tried to help you, but I can’t. I’m not strong enough for this. You need professional help.”

You went into your shared bedroom and grabbed a bag you had prepared because deep down you knew this day would come.

“I’m going to spend the night at Ahreum’s and when I come back I don’t want to see you or any of your shit here. It’s over.”

Lucas stood in the middle of the room, speechless as he watched you leave.

That was the last time you saw him. Until today.

The next day you came back and he was gone. Part of you felt sad he didn’t even try to fight for you, for what you two had built together. But another part of you was just knew that’s exactly what would happen and you felt relieved and free of the drama that came with Lucas.

-

“Hi.” His smile is soft and full of hope but leaves a mess inside your head.

“Kun, can you cover for me? I’m gonna take my break now.” You suddenly abandon your place behind the counter.

“S-sure.” Confused, your friend moves to the register as you disappear into the back. “You said venti iced coffee?”

“I’ll be right back.” Lucas flees out the front door leaving the other even more confused.

You open the backdoor that leads to an alley next to the coffee place you work in, panting as your heart is beating so fast you swear it will burst at anytime. You squat down, body shaking as a million thoughts go through your head. What is he doing here after all this time? How can he just walk up to you so casually after the way things went down? What does he expect to get out of this?

“Y/N…” You look up and there he is again, standing right in front of you.

Quickly you get back up and move towards the door to get back in, but he stops you.

“Wait! I just wanna talk!” He pleas and that makes your blood boil.

“What could you possibly have to say after all this time, Lucas?” The name that once gave you butterflies, rolls out of your tongue like razors cutting their way out. “You know what, I don’t even care, I don’t want to talk to you!”

“I know I have no right to do this but please just hear me out. You don’t have to say anything, just give me 2 minutes, please…” You can hear the desperation on his voice, even though he doesn’t raise his voice.

“Time’s counting.” Sighing you decide to let him speak.

“Ok ok, hm… I swear I had a speech prepared but it all vanished from my head now.” He scratches the back of his but then you give him a look that he knows he’d better not waste his time. “I know I screwed up. We had something great and I ruined it. You were so good to me and I just took you for granted so I ended up losing you.”

Taking a deep breath, you fight the tears that threaten to fall. He takes a step forward before continuing.

“Look, the day you sent me away finally opened my eyes. You’re the best thing that happened to me and I gave it all up. And for what? Nothing. So I left and I decided be a better person. For you. For us. I spent 2 years in a rehab center taking care of myself and 2 more getting myself together. I got a job, a small apartment and it really feels like I’m in the right path. I’m just missing one thing. You. Let me show I’ve changed. Please.”

“What makes you think there’s space in my life for you anymore?” You don’t know how you managed to get those words out of your mouth without cracking.

“I don’t know. I just…” He sighs. “I don’t want to believe our story is over. Just give me one more chance. If at any moment I even say the wrong thing just say it and I’ll disappear. For good this time. Please.”

“You don’t get to break my heart anymore, Lucas.” You gulp, trying to keep yourself together. “I promised myself I’d never let that happen again.”

“I won’t.” He looks straight into your eyes making you want to believe him so bad. “I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again.”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this…” You mumble to yourself.

“What?”

“You have a week.” Turning around you reach for the door.

“Really?” Good thing you can’t see how his eyes sparkle with hope.

“Don’t make me regret this.” You turn around and glare at him. “I mean it.”

“I won’t, I promise!” You hear him cheer outside as you get back to work, pulling a silly giggle out of you.

All you did for the past 4 years was trying to forget him. And you thought you did, until he showed up in front of you and brought all those feelings back. Maybe a few years are not enough to get over the one you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with and that makes you look forward to giving him another chance. But unfortunately you can’t just erase the bad times from your memory. You sent him away for a reason. He says he’s changed but you have your motives for doubting it.

The next day he takes you for a walk by the river. It starts off with awkward silence, none of you knowing how to talk to each other anymore. But as you take a seat in a bench facing the water you start to catch up. The way he talks is different but in a good way, like he’s not trying to put that bad boy facade anymore, he’s just the sweet guy you once knew. It really seems like he’s getting his life back together and you could almost see yourself fit in it.

The next date is a dinner downtown. Not a fancy restaurant, but he knows you’re not a fan of those anyways, just a cozy little place with great food. As you ordered you decided to test him and order yourself some wine. He didn’t seem affected by it, happily drinking his sparkling water as you eat and talk. Perhaps your tricky move triggered some instant karma because the wine glasses keep coming and in no time you’re seeing double. Lucas, takes you home, trying hard to follow your blurred instructions. He gets you inside, but just like a movie scene you trip and fall on your bed, pulling him on top of you. Your faces are inches apart and you can’t even think straight, but all you want is to feel those lips back on yours. However when you get closer he pulls away. The next moments fade from your memory as you pass out and when you wake up there’s a cute little note with water and a pill, just what you need for the pounding in your head.

Later that day he knocks on your door. Embarrassment takes over you but he doesn’t for one minute mention the previous night. He brings food, thinking you might not be in the mood to cook, and then he heads to the door but you ask him to stay. You two eat and then watch a movie, sneaking glances at each other not really caring about the plot.

The following date is a quick coffee at ‘The Vision’ as you have to work two shifts. You talk about college and how it’s been hard for you to get a job in your field after graduating, leading you to work here to pay the bills. Your heart skips a beat when he takes your hand over the table and tells you how he truly believes you’ll be able to achieve all your hopes and dreams. It seems like such a cliché thing to say but coming from him just hits differently. Luckily it’s time to get back to work because you don’t know how to deal with the desperate will to give it all up and get back with him.

With almost a week of dates with Lucas, you hate how easily you were brought right back into his spell. But at the same time it just felt so right. He really seems to have changed. During these days there were numerous occasions that, a few years ago, would’ve made him flip off just because. But now he seems more collected. Maybe things could really work out this time. Just maybe.

And there comes the end of the week. He picks you up late at night after your shift and takes you to a viewpoint facing the whole city. A beautiful scenario that looked quite familiar. Lucas pulls out some snacks and sodas before you sit and watch the lights below you.

“Cheeto sticks and Mango Monster?” You chuckle checking what he brought.

“It was a long shot but I hope you still like those.” He smiles.

“I can’t believe you remembered…” Shaking your head with a grin, you take a sip from your drink.

“How could I forget? Us driving around the empty streets late at night and ending up in places like this, talking about the future…” His voice trails off recalling all the broken promises made on those nights.

“Little did we know how things would turn out.” You sigh.

“There’s still time to turn things around.” Turning his gaze to you, Lucas examines your face trying to read it. “We can bring back those nights. And all the other moments we shared.”

“Even the ones you were out spending my money on booze and I had to carry you to bed because you were so wasted?” You scoff, closing your eyes.

“That’s not gonna happen again.” He promises.

“But how do I know, Lucas?” You finally turn to him. “You’ve made promises but that you didn’t keep! You said you’d get a job and instead you went out and got drunk everyday. You said you’d never hurt me but somehow I was still left heartbroken. You said you’d be by my side and then you left.”

“You were the one who told me to go!” He tries to fight back. “I didn’t want to but I knew it was the best for us! I needed to get better to keep all those promises. I don’t think you understand how hard it was for me to be away from you all this time.”

“If it was that hard to be apart what took you so long to reach out?” You get up and take some steps forward. “Didn’t you get out of rehab two years ago?”

“Because I needed to make sure I was good enough to come back!” Getting up too, he stands right behind you. “I needed to make sure I wouldn’t make the same mistakes again. I wanted to get a job and make sure I was done drowning my sorrow with alcohol. I’ve been doing therapy, going deep into my problems, and it has really been helping me. But something’s missing. You’re missing.”

With the ends of your sweater, you wipe the tears off your cheeks, thinking about how hard it was for you too and how you kept waiting for him to reach out, even if you wouldn’t admit it.

“And I was scared.” He takes a deep breath. “What if I came back and you had moved on with someone else? Someone who treats you better. Someone who gives you all their time and support. Someone who loves you like I do. And worst, someone who you’d love more than you ever did me.”

Slowly you turn around and watch the moonlight shine on his wet cheeks, shoulders shaking and chest heaving.

“I know I have no right barging back into your life like this, but I had to try, one last time.” He shrugs, smiling through the tears. “I know I hurt you but I just wanted you to love me again.”

“How could I love you again, if I never stopped?” You catch a glimpse of his eyes widening as you run into his arms, connecting your lips after what seemed like an eternity.

You’ve made a lot of errors when it comes to Lucas, but for the first time if feels like you’re doing the right thing.

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

a/n 2: not gonna tag anyone on this one as I don’t know how you feel about Lucas and also no networks, but I promise more works are coming!

[secretxxpaladaiseu]

Sick Streaming

Trigger Warning for graphic description of an injury.

Never had Jinae felt like the strong one. Growing up, she was the child that was always at the doctor or the hospital, her immune system unable to cope with even a small cold. It was weak, and it showed very often. It also had side effects that went far beyond just her frequent trips to a medical center.

In public, she grew up wearing face masks on a constant basis. It didn't matter if she went to the corner store, or to school. They had become a desperate attempt by her family to try and keep her as healthy as possible without cutting her off from the world. While it certainly may have worked to some extent, it didn't work as well as everyone had hoped. She ended up having to attend school virtually until her last year of secondary. Not only to keep her from getting sick so often, but also to save her from the ridicule her classmates threw at her.

"Ghost girl." "Mouthless demon." "Cursed girl."

They were just a few of the insults that were hurled at her, all because her family didn't want to see her so sick. It left her crying before the school day was even halfway finished, and many times the teachers pleaded for her parents to come get her if only so they could regain full control of their class once again. It was never for Jinae's sake, the teachers could hardly care about the teasing she took. They simply wanted a classroom distraction gone, and a crying child was quite a massive one.

When she started secondary, a doctor finally suggested that she begin undergoing weekly treatments for her immune system. Treatments that would've caused her to miss several days of school should she have physically attended. Those treatments, however, proved worth it. Within just a couple of years, her immune system had strengthened to the point that the treatments were only monthly instead of weekly. She no longer had to wear a mask everytime she stepped outside of her home, and finally, she could attend school properly.

To give her the start she deserved, her parents arranged for her to attend a school halfway across the city. It would mean a new set of classmates, and no one to remember the young girl who had to hide her face and cried. Jinae was excited for this start, as it gave her a chance to truly be herself.

It was unfortunate that teasing simply seemed to come along with school children, no matter where in the world one went. There was always something to tease another about, and for Jinae it was her grades. Consistently rising to the top of the school in just her first semester was a huge deal. She had upended some rather defensive students, and it came back on her. She wanted to fight back, to defend herself, to tell them that she spent her life practically confined to a bed with nothing else to do but study.Though with the teasing that was already being done for her nerdy ways, it would have only complicated things. Her defense would have only given them even more ammunition, but she was at least tougher this time. She was able to put up with it, to sit silently as they taunted and bullied her. There were even a few times where she had to admit they were getting creative, which she openly did, which wasn't to their amusement.

Nothing that special happened for a couple of years, her life being quite boring and monotonous until one disasterous day. Finally, Jinae was starting to feel stronger in her life. She spent fewer days sick, and got over illnesses quickly. Her school life was even looking up, with her finally gaining a circle of friends that she got along well with. Even with friends, however, that didn't mean bullying stopped. Many of the classmates from secondary followed into highschool, and they kept the same energy towards her there.

It was one of her treatment days, and so she arrived to school after a couple of classes and was rushing up the stairs. She had arrived just in time to slip into her classroom without much of a disturbance as it was still inbetween classes. That was a rare moment, and it had her feeling even more optimistic about her day. Well, she was optimistic, until she felt the sudden shove. It was strong, forceful, and came a second time as she tried to see just who had shoved her. That second shove was when she felt herself crashing downward onto the staircase, and heard a sickening snap that came from…Herself.

Time seemed to move so slowly as she only saw a glimpse of her assailant's legs running up the rest of the stairs and disappearing around the corner. Then she looked down, only to see her leg twisted in a very much unnatural manner. She had no idea how long it was between the discovery and her screams echoing through the hollow and empty stairwell. Screams that were soon followed by sobbing, and finally by the feeling of pain as she grabbed her leg. Grabbing the side of her leg, she could feel it. There was a large bump on the side of her lower leg that had a strange feeling gap in it as well. As a teacher finally rushed to check on her, with a large gathering of students suddenly filling the stairwell at the gut wrenching sounds, Jinae could tell her leg was broken.

She was rushed to the nurse, and then to the hospital, sobbing in pain nearly the entire time. There was no adrenaline rush, nor a moment to have such. There was no dramatic lead up, or even any warning. Instead, it was simply a good mood that was violently crashed along with her body. As she laid in the hospital bed, waiting for the pain medication to kick in and soothe the aching in her leg, she felt like a child once again. Yet again, she was in a hospital bed and missing school. Once again, she was sick and trapped. As the pain in her leg was finally dealt with, a new feeling washed over her.

Dread.

Eventually, as time went on and the questions kept coming with Jinae giving implausible and ever changing answers, her cousin was told the truth. He was finally told what had happened, and what she could remember. Though there really wasn't much to remember. Feeling protective, he told her parents, who in turn went into their own protective mode. No longer was she going to attend school, and was instead going to attend an online school instead. Again.

Fortunately, Jinae's friend group stayed mostly intact. They visited her in the hospital as often as they could, and even visited her just as often when she finally was given the opportunity to go home. It made the situation much less miserable for her, being able to maintain actual contact with the outside world while her leg healed. She never could get the hang of her crutches, and refused to be condemned to a wheelchair. It wasn't a pride thing, but she didn't want to be seen as mocking other people. While most people probably would have never judged her if she had, that wasn't what Jinae thought. That wasn't what she expected. Whether it was because she was that used to being taunted, or maybe it was a bit of pride, she always worried over what other people thought.

While she got to hang out fairly often with her friends, they still had other obligations. So for as many days as they got to come visit her, there were just as many where she had nothing to do after finishing her schoolwork. That was when she started to get into gaming. Well, more heavily into it. It had always been a passing hobby that she was actually very skilled at, and would often pour her weekends into it. Now, however, she was able to pour her time through the week into it as well. It only improved her skills, and one night, in a major craving to be social, she went live.

Creating an account on a major streaming website, she went live. Webcam and all, she went live playing Starcraft. For being her first stream, she had gotten extremely lucky, reaching 50 viewers total for the 6 hour stream. Letting the success fill her head just a little, she gave it another shot, with the same success. Night after night, she went live for hours at a time, and after a few weeks, her viewer count finally began growing. And growing. And growing.

It grew to the point that a topic came up that she hadn't thought about: Donations. Fans were asking how they could donate to her, and it wasn't something she thought about. She was simply streaming something she loved doing in order to interact with other people. It was entirely for fun, but she soon enough set up an account to receive donations. After all, if people were asking to, why not?

From donations, the interactions only grew. As she became more mobile as her leg healed, she started wearing different outfits and being a bit more playful with her chat. She was spending more time in between rounds to properly chat with her growing viewership. All of this only grew her fanbase. Something that had started as simply a way to socialize had now become something more. Never once did she feel arrogant, or get an inflated ego where nothing backed it up. She remained very down to Earth, and continually made sure to let her viewers know how appreciative she was simply for them watching her.

Even when her leg healed, and especially after the rejection to attend the school of seemingly her dreams, she continued streaming. Jinae found herself able to vent about these things as well as share her happiness with life. Even more surprising, was she found herself earning money. Not just a little bit, but a lot. She was able to upgrade her set up, buy more outfits, and just generally make her life more comfortable.

This change didn't go unnoticed by her family, and soon enough they were spying on her streams. At first, it scared her as viewers thought there was a ghost or demon in her room. Ones that would disappear as soon as she turned around. Finally, though, she caught them. They let her continue streaming for the night, though confronted her afterwards about it. Surprisingly, they didn't shoot it down. They had observed enough to know that she wasn't doing anything suspicious or sexual. It relieved them, and they actually supported her by buying her a light up box to hang outside of her room so they would know when she was streaming. It was a huge shock to Jinae, since they had refused to pay her tuition for the highschool she wanted to attend because it was 'just to play video games' and she needed to worry about an 'actual career'.

Well, the talk about an actual career never stopped, but that's because they still worried about her streaming gig drying up one day and her having nothing left.

Eventually, and when Jinae was old enough, she left her parents home. It was a bittersweet day, but it was also exciting. After saving and saving, she was able to get herself her own apartment. Not just any apartment, but a two bedroom apartment. Her very first place was a two bedroom apartment. Most people considered themselves lucky to score a one bedroom apartment, but Jinae had bigger ambitions for herself and saved up for it. It was the same apartment she had today, a few years later.

A simple hobby had brought her this far in not only her life, but in the world.

[theycallmeghostface]

Can I be honest with you?

It's just another morning here.

We all finally came home and my cats are loving it.

Got my coffee and I'm finally stoned.

Went to write in the journal and thought of somethings I ain't never thought of before.

The past few years getting my mental illnesses in line so they don't control me any more has been rather intresting.

It's more like a switch I can make now.

Right under my skin.

But it has been begging more questions then answers.

The experiences I've had are making me wonder if those who have had similar experiences have walked these halls before.

How many have lost?

How many actually got better?

I know with my experience it was dumb luck and enlightenment.

If I didn't get al hold of the internet I know for a Fact that I would be dead, dumb, or in jail.

It's fucking crazy because I always knew I was gonna have to work 2× as hard at birth.

People didn't like me. I didn't know how to be a person.

I wasn't given the chance tbh.

Maybe I wasn't a mean girl in highschool, maybe it was a vitamin definitely with an untreated personality disorder causing brain fog, irritability, and exhaustion.

Never mind all those other fucking symptoms that come with it.

Like insomnia

Needless to say I'm fucked up and the first 24 years of my life had to be spent trying to cater to the chemical imbalances in my head.

Basically where some of you started with emotional development in 5th grade, I'm starting at the ripe ol age of 25.

And that is only cause the perfect mix of intelligence and grace allows me to be self aware enough to not destroy the only things left avaliable to me after the utter calamity that was me navigating this world with a map I could barely fucken read.

What I'm trying to say is.....

I had to do it on my own.

And I'm not bad at stats....

So I know my experience was luck...

I can't imagine how many don't even know or didn't even make it....

[missmarie-onette]

Today

nowhere to go with these thoughts. ill talk about my background first. when I was 8, I wanted to be a fashion designer. by the time I was 13, that dream was crushed by voices telling me it was a fruitless profession. I had always loved stories, reading, and pretty words--worlds that only existed in our head that we could never truly touch--and so I dove deeper and deeper into fictional lands. by then, I was already imagining that I would pursue a STEM degree and hopefully achieve some 'respectable' profession in adulthood.

From this, what I mean to say is that, I--at some point--truly gave up on my own innate passions, and looked upon fiction as the one thing that could keep me ground in the madness that is this life.

I would even attempt to escape this reality by learning languages and cultures that were not my own.

Escapism.

And so now, I sit here as a junior at university, pursuing Neuroscience, and often spend my free time worrying about money and staring at thousand page long unedited documents of stories I wish to tell.

When I was in highschool, I would often yearn for rain and listen to the birds sing as though they were the lovely sounds of ones own children. I would imagine myself in victorian places under pale grey skies or dark, oil-lamp lit nights, classical music making ringlets of comfort around my entire body. It was so easy to escape then--a mere four years ago.

At age 21, I hate to feel so exhausted. I am not exhausted of work or school but rather of the concept of living. I grapple with the same struggle as most, wondering what is my purpose? what was I made for? will things always be this way? and why do things often seem to not play out as I would wish?

17 year old me who figured life would figure itself out as long as I could find a nice corner to sit in with a good book is still here, I wish to believe that. There is a truth that is hard to admit for anyone. Living is too hard for everyone. The mere fact that we must face our existence and mortality is enough to cripple some, even.

And so, I stare at my debts and my unclear career endeavors, and the ever-persisting world that I still cannot touch, and I listen to my growing stomach as an alarm goes off, reminding me to get ready for work.

I keep staring at those pages of unfinished stories, knowing nothing will become of them if the ideas stay in my head and if my fingers never reach the keyboard. I keep staring at my homework, knowing that I will not be able to get a better job if I don't get this degree. I keep staring at my empty fridge, knowing that I will continue to grow weaker and weaker if I don't eat--knowing that I have no appetite whether there is food in that fridge or not.

I have had so many ideas ever since I was a child, so many I could not possibly realize even a fraction of them, especially as I am now.

But my stories...somehow...I imagine what I wish to finish before I die, and I still believe that even if I were stranded in the middle of nowhere without food and water and no chance of help for days, I would still want to have a nice book and a way to write by my side.

I don't know if people write with the intention of sharing their stories every time. I know that...when I touch my thoughts to any page, I get so terrified of another pair of eyes befalling it that I even lose motivation to write any further. All writers surely experience a fear of putting themselves out there in that way and certain criticisms. It is the nature of creative work. Even still, will I be the next Stephen King? Will my words catch on among the young like a Rick Riordan series? Will my name be found running around niche communities underground communities of sub-genres?

They will say stop worrying and just do. Perhaps a degree of perfectionism holds me back.

I grew up unable to do many things. There was always a sacrifice for another good. One can either eat or drink, or neither one, but never both. Either the socks on your feet or the toy in your hands. And that is quite an exaggeration for the actuality of my upbringing, but I suppose I mean to say that one could never truly have their cake and eat it too. I spent those days in my room, buried in a book or typing away about some fantasy land or learning foreign words and customs. Beyond my door, it was a stone wall, covered in dust and splatter with old grime. Another exaggeration, of course.

Today, I have found some peace in the rain sounds again, the sound of the birds calling, and a book by my side. It has truly been so long since this feeling, and so I could say I feel like a teen again in this melancholic bliss.

I wanted to see BTS in 2025. I'll give up on that. I wanted to go to the UK and see a comedy show. I'll give up on that. I wanted to buy an RV and maybe take it around the country next year. I'll give up on that. I wanted to go out and meet someone who could buy me flowers and let me whisper sweet nothing in their ear. I'll give up on that. Children, I dreamed I could have two of my own and then adopt many more, filling their days with everything to grow into themselves and lead fulfilling lives. Always a warm dish on the table. I'll give up on that dream too. I thought I might be fluent in another language and live in another country for a while. I'll give up on that. Many more. Many more things like this.... For now, I simply must give it up for a later date.

Right now, it is too much looming over my head, my hopes and aspirations and dreams. It hurts quite remarkable when one begins to mix their reality with fantasy only to find it remotely impossible to achieve even one of ideal.

I wonder how long I'll be stuck in this machine. School. Work. Debt. Waiting. Loneliness. Watching out of a window. I really do wonder.....

But, as always, I will take up my books and my computer, dim the lights, and play those melodic sounds, once more slipping into worlds where it is not just music in ones ear but the very earth beneath their feet.

It is...just that simple. Too much effort, I say, I spend...trying to find a place in this outside world to which I have never felt I belonged. I am tired or makeup and wigs and pressed clothing. How I only desire to wrap myself in a big blanket under a willow tree beneath a grey sky, and ponder...how I could become stronger.

This year, I don't know what world I will make for myself to hide away in.

I am tired of my room smelling of old clothes from the previous tenant. I am tired of the smells in my home in general. Tired of dirty bathrooms. Unwashed dishes. Dirty floors. Stale linen.

Try as I might to clean and separate myself from the filth, it lingers like that old stone wall I used to know. This torment could be worse, and yet I still can't escape it.

If I could break free...I don't even know where I would go. I may look back at the place of my old captivity, some awkward and long stare as though waiting for it to chase me down and capture me again like an animal who was not supposed to escape.

Around me...I don't know how to hide. But I wish too. Truly, most days...I wish to. And yet, I can't go anywhere but that park around the corner, swinging there and wondering if I truly must...go back home or go back anywhere. Why not, like the birds in the sky, can I not fly anywhere I so please and rest my head where I so choose?

What is the value of their freedom and a short lifespan to mine of a longer lifespan and these limitations?

[justsadge]

It was over before it even started

So I guess he got a partner and never told me. He said i could shoot my shot but never told me that id be shooting at nothing. What's the point anymore man, the one person i thought I ever had a chance with now I know i have no chance ill never have a chance cause no one sees me as someone worth being romantically involved with, never have and honestly at this point never will. 27 years and ive been on one date and it was when i was a freshmen in highschool and even then they just wanted to be friends after that. why doesnt anyone want to love me why am i not worth peoples love what is wrong with me. he said im not ugly people say im nice to be around that im a good person and that i deserve love and that "I'll find the one for me" well as the data shows they are looking me in the face and lying to me trying to make me feel better with lies and im fucking sick of it im done, im tired, im sad, im mad, i want to end it all i want to stop existing. my life has been a joke for TWENTY SEVEN FUCKING YEARS and i dont want to go another ive tried waiting for good things to happen, ive tried making good things happen and nothing good ever happens for me nothing ever ever ever ever ever ever happens for me i cry in my room everyday i have to go to work everyday and pretend like nothing is wrong i walk around my house and smile and joke with my roommates but its all a lie i havent been happy since i can remember and honestly i think i wont be happy before i kick the bucket. I love him i want him to have a good life and to be happy and healthy and loved but i really wanted it to be me that did those things for him I knew i never had a chance looking and being like i am cause lets face it im so fucking worthless i cant drive, im bald, im fat, covered in acne and acne scars, out of shape, stupid, no hobbies, no interests, i dont want to do anything in life no asperations no big goals nothing, why would anyone want to to love someone like me? what could i possibly ever contribute to a relationship? I knew he wouldnt want me i knew even if i tried and tried and tired to be as good to him and be there for him that he would just turn me down and move on from me. all im good for is being used being left behind, im used to it its fine its whatever ill just get over it or something i guess.

[reidsnose]

Black Eye

overview: reader and spencer go to reader's highschool reunion as a fake couple

genre: fluff i think

warnings: mild violence and swearing, a guy being kind of a total creep, and mentions of bullying

a/n: idk if its any good again just love the idea but it was inspired by a dream i had last night (thank you temporal lobe) so yeah let me know what yall think !! :) also im posting this at like ass oclock in the morning so whoops

masterlist

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you and spencer had gotten yourselves in quite the situation.

your dreaded highschool reunion was just around the corner and you made the mistake of complaining about it to penelope. she was always trying to make everyones life easier (and more interesting) so when she heard you had no date she took it upon herself to find you one.

it didn't take a lot of looking, none at all actually; because Penelope had already been trying to figure out ways to get you and Reid together.

you two were undeniably perfect for each other. you were an amazing team at work, you hung out alone all the time (though both of you denied these hang out as being dates, Garcia had her own ideas on this), and you were both very obliviously head over heels for each other.

and somehow, through the magical ways of Penelope Garcia, you and Spencer were now sitting in the parking lot, fake married for your high school reunion.

"do we need to go over our back story again?" you worried, looking up at him.

"our backstory is basically all true anyway we just fall in love after a little bit. and i have an eidetic memory so i remember; you're my wife you should know this!" he joked, trying to relax you. "we got this! we're gonna be so married!"

Spencer had actually never been this nervous in his life but he was trying to be brave for you. it would be more embarrassing for you both to show up like nervous wrecks than if you had just come alone. he was just happy to get to be fake married to you.

"the marriedest!" smiled, fist bumping him.

"now lets go make some people jealous!" he chuckled getting out of the car and jogging over to your side, opening your door before you got the chance to; like a true gentleman.

you stuck out your hand which he happily took into his, neither of you commenting on the redness you both had sprinkled across your cheeks. as you walked in, you saw all the people you dreaded seeing.

the boys who tormented you were balding and the girls who made sure you felt awful everyday had wrinkles riddling there skin. you were surrounded by botched botox and bleached blonde to cover graying hair. you felt terrible to admit it, but you were a little happy to see that their beauty had faded like this; they made their looks their whole personality in high school, you couldn't help but wonder what was left for them to be. not that it mattered, but you and Spencer were undeniably the most attractive couple there.

you actually had an ok time, you had spotted a few of your friends that you hadn't seen in quite a few years and it was nice to catch up.

Spencer had wondered a bit, but not too far, he was talking to some guys who used to be in science club when you were younger. you smiled at the thought of what they might be talking about.

"y/n! hey youve really filled out!" you heard a gruff voice from behind you.

you turned around and were met with the very unappealing face of the ex quarterback. Spencers attention had been caught at the sound of your name.

"um..hello," you muttered, trying to covertly back away from him.

"i see youve got a ring, interesting i dont remember us getting married!" he said in an incredibly creepy tone.

"do you know im a federal agent now?" you said through a gritted smile.

spencer had already begun walking towards you, he could tell something was off.

"ill tell you what sweetheart," he put his hand on your shoulder, pulling you slightly closer to him, "you can put me in handcuffs any day."

you threw his hand off of you and drew back your fist, but were cut off before you could deliver the punch but his hand engulfing your own, and squeezing.

"THATS MY WIFE!" spencer yelled in a voice you had never heard from him before.in the blink of an eye he was standing between in front of him. "do not ever talk to her like that, let alone lay a finger on her or so help me God i will-"

"what beanpole? what are you gonna do? what if i did this?" the man asked.

and then he sent a swift punch to Spencer's face.

thats gonna leave a mark.

in a matter of seconds, Spencer had him overpowered, laying face first on the floor with his hands uncomfortably angled behind him, completely helpless.

"now i'm going to let you go and you're going to walk out of here unharmed. if you try anything like that again, ill let my wife handle you. and i promise if she gets a hold of you, you'll be a dead son of a bitch." Spencer muttered in the mans ear, gruffly pulling him up by his collar and shoving him towards the door.

"were leaving." you said, grabbing Spencer's hand, trying to ignore how incredibly attractive he looked right now.

"babe if you want to stay we can stay," he offered as if he didn't just have his shit kicked in by a coward with misogynistic tendencies.

"honey, i want to take you home," you smiled, liking the way it felt to call him a pet name. you walked into the parking lot, "what were you thinking?"

"i was thinking this guy is trying to hurt you and i was not going to ever let that happen." he answered confidently as you two reached the car. "plus this totally made the marriage thing more believable. i wouldn't get a black eye for just anyone."

"thank you. i'm sorry you got punched trying to protect me." you sighed, feeling incredibly awful about the whole thing.

he chuckled, "id do it again."

you fought hard against the blush creeping up your face.

"i gotta say, the black eye really suits you. you look pretty badass." you chuckled, trying to change the subject before it got too sappy and you said something you shouldn't.

"maybe it should just be my new look," he joked, looking down at a ping from his phone. "uh oh."

"we have a case?" you asked.

"yep. and hotch wants us in the office asap which means we cont stop by either of our houses." he sighed before starting the car.

the drive was mostly silent. but a comfortable silence. Spencer thought about how in the moment, he didn't care how many punches the guy threw at him, as long as it meant you were ok, he was willing to take it. he knew he loved you far before that moment but that truly solidified it.

at the same time you were thinking of how quickly your time as a 'married couple' was over. it felt so right to call Spencer yours. so unexplainably perfect for the two of you to be together. if only your time wasn't cut short by a sucker punch.

you neared the building's parking lot. you looked over at Spencer who you could very easily tell was lost in his own world.

"whats going on in that beautiful head of yours?" you asked, causing him to stifle a smile.

"just thinking." he answered.

"what about?"

"us." he stated, pulling into his parking spot.

oh. oh.

"do tell."

he hesitated, "if i tell you, and you disagree, do you promise it wont change anything about us?"

"i promise."

"did it feel right to you? us being together?" he asked, his eyes innocent and filled to the brim with a mixture of anxiety and adoration as he looked at you.

"yes. it absolutely did. and i was so mad at the assclown for cutting our time short," you admitted, "and punching you in the eye, obviously."

"i- i'm not sure how to ask this but- do you...would you..sorry i-" he stammered.

"yes."

you cut him off, pressing your lips to his. his hand gently cupped your face, deepening the kiss and you both felt like you were on cloud nine.

"thats exactly what i was trying to say," he cracked a dopey smile, causing you to chuckle.

"i've been trying to say it for so long." you confessed, causing him to smile impossibly wider, "we gotta go hotch is waiting."

"just one more kiss?" he asked, which you gave in to, obviously. and then another. and another.

maybe it was good thing that he got a black eye that day, because when you got to the office the whole team was so focused on it they didn't even notice the hint of your lipstick left on spencers lips.

-

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ultra mega super cool taglist:

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos

[chocominnie]

Redemption — Preview (M)

→: This is book two to my story Desperado. Read that one before continuing on to read this one.

→ pairing: Mafia!Jungkook x reader

→ genre: Angst, smut , a bit of fluff

→ summary:  It’s been 4 years since everything that happened. If he could re-do everything he would, but cannot. With Won-Shik dead, and everyone’s back’s turned against him.. what can he do? You took a toll on him to the point where it’s hard to function without you and everyone’s concerned. Another gang has entered their teritory and is giving them a run for their money. The heir to the mafia thrown is now in charge with everyone waiting for his first big move. Yet, how can someone so broken inside take care of business though? 

Warnings : This honestly isn’t for the light hearted and the weak. Drug dependency, drug mentions, high angst, mental illness, depression, anxiety, assault, gore, guns, usage of weapons, daddy kink, bigdick!jk, hair pulling, soft sex, rough sex, squirting, mouth fucking, overstimulation, consensual drunk/tipsy sex, protected & unprotected sex. I may be forgetting some so sorry in advance!

Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken.

Play this song after reading :)

You were so close. So fucking close to living and you tried. You tried to fight so hard to keep from slipping into an eternal slumber but your body was weak. It took on brutal beatings from the kidnapping. There were multiple blows to your head leaving you with a concussion. Your arms and rib cage were bruised to the point of no return. Too much swelling in areas that need to function properly for you to heal. You were a lost cause. All due to Jeon Won-Shik.

The news of your death did not settle well with anyone. Although they all played a part in it, Jungkook, Namjoon, Ayami, and everyone else, an innocent soul was taken. For once, Bangtan had grieved a death. Usually assignments don’t get grievement, but you weren’t just an assignment. You somehow had came to be someone who was kind, sweet, and fiesty to everyone. Most importantly you meant a lot to Jungkook. 

He will never forget that day. The day you died in his arms while he bawled his eyes out repeating the words, I love you. I love  you. I love you. I love you. I. Love. You.  He said it thinking that you’d open your eyes and somehow see his point of view in things to forgive him. He didn’t want you dead. He wanted anything else but that for you. Jungkook got his first taste of real love, something he had a hard time growing up with. Although you two used to argue, he enjoyed every second that you guys didn’t because he would show you pieces of the real him to you. The real way he wanted to show you love and to recieve it back. 

While in the hospital getting treated for his wounds and tests run on him, Casper was the one to break the news to him that you did not make it. Within the split of a second Jungkook was yanking all the cords and i.v’s he was hooked up to and screaming to the point where nurses had to come inside and sedate him. He was going mad. From all the trauma from childhood till now was being let out on anyone who tried to calm him down and hold him down for the sedation. He screamed, cried, kicked, and sobbed loudly saying your name. Casper stood back and told the nurses to stand-by and to let him get it all out. 

Of course they listened.

Finally after another 30 minutes of screaming and crying, he’d exhausted himself. By that time his mother had entered the room, nearly on the brink of crying due to seeing her son so distressed. So when he did exhaust himself she climbed in the hospital bed with him and held him, patting and rubbing his back like she used to do when he was a child. He still sobbbed in her arms while the nurses came back again to sedate him with a needle. 

It was a rough first night. Hell, it’s been a rough four years in general. He graduated highschool with anxiety and depression. Stopped showing up to enter the school with the boys and sarted to blend in with the crowd. Head down, airpods in, and attempting to catch up on the sleep he didn’t get everynight, in class. Sungmin transferred schools. He couldn’t fathom being in the same school as a murderer, let alone his new brother. Crystal and Namjoon stuck together for the rest of the school year. Ayami went back to Japan. None of them spoke to each other again after being released from the hospital. Bangtan was put on hold for obvious reasons. Everyone seemed to go their seperate ways. 

Somehow Jungkook couldn’t seperate his way from you. The drugs gave him hallucinations of you and he’d get high every chance he’d get just to escape his cruel world world and the pain from your death. That new tattoo he got representing you sits right on his right wrist. Your name with a small outlined paw print. Lost puppy. That’s what he first called you. You two were lost souls that ended up infactuated with each other. He also lost himself when he lost you. He’ll never be the same. Never again. 

[maxineswritingcenter]

You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader

So, back in the day I wrote this story on Quotev. And it was one of my first stories that got into the popular section and I am really proud of it. The only problem is.... It was written in 2013, uber cringe-ville. If you wanna try to find it, be my guest but be warned: the main character is an OC, she has “I’m NoT lIkE oThEr GiRlS” syndrome and there are some weird ass love lines added in. So, I am reviving and rebranding that story so it may live a better life, like witness protection. Anyway, hope you enjoy

* I wrote it in first person just because I thought it would be easier to read

(Y/N)’s family is killed in a fire that seems to plague Beacon Hills, moving in with the Stilinski’s was bound to cause hijinks, but what happens when she gets involved with the the illusive Derek Hale?

TW: Kidnapping, some violence

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At first glance Beacon Hills seems like the perfect community. It wasn’t until later that I would realize that everything I ever knew was a lie. 

~

I slowly slipped out of the front door and locked it behind me. Sneaking out wasn’t my usual schtick, but it was the last day of summer and for the first time I was going to live a little before starting to work at the Highschool as a volunteer coach for the lacrosse team. It was my first time ever sneaking out and just the idea of it made my heart pound, but the anxiety turned to adrenaline as I made my way out without either of my parents noticing. They were both incredibly heavy sleepers, there could be a parade outside their door and they wouldn’t wake up. 

The party would mostly consist of most of the men’s and women’s lacrosse teams, and what would a lacrosse party be like without the team captain?

Walking down the sidewalk, I thought more about college. UCLA was a choice, or a community college too. Most kids would have gone straight after graduation, but I decided a year off would be good for me to de-stress. But honestly, I was just more afraid of the change. That and leaving my best friend, Stiles, behind was a little hard to fathom. We had known each other our whole lives. Another thing was…would he be okay? After losing his mom… who knows. But then there was also Michael. Michael was my boyfriend, and I loved being with him for the last four years. He really hadn’t mentioned plans for college, just working in the family business. What the family business was, I never knew. 

About a block down the road is when I heard the howl. My instincts first go to fear, wolf in the darkness. But then logic comes in, there had not been wolves in California for decades. It was probably the neighbors husky. 

The autumn chill had no mercy, whipping my hair into my eyes, I stopped on the corner of Fifth and Main, pulling my jacket closer and waited for the wind to pass. When it did, the figure in front of me made me gasp. But the shock subsided soon after. 

“Mikey,” I sighed in relief, “Why’d ya sneak up on me like that? Almost gave me a heart attack. What are you doing out here?”

“Waiting for you.” He smiled. Ominous certainly, but this was probably just another one of his pranks. 

“I guess so, I thought you said you weren’t going to the party.” 

“We’re not.” That’s when a chill ran up my spine. Something wasn’t right, he wasn’t acting like himself. His goofy smile was gone and replaced by a dark looming presence that I wasn’t comfortable with. It was like he was a completely different person. I took a slow step back. 

“Come on, this isn’t funny.” He said nothing, only matching my step going forward. 

“Michael.” With every step I took back, he took one forward, matching my increasing pace. With no other choice in mind, I chose to run. But as my back was turned, he grabbed me by my middle with one arm and pressed a cloth to my mouth with the other. Without thinking, I breathed in, the chemicals in the cloth slowly numbing my senses and my body. I tried to fight the darkness entering my vision, but it was no use. I was done to my knees, Michael right behind me. 

“Goodnight, (Y/N).” Were the last words I heard before the darkness took over. 

~

“Sweetie, time to get up.” My mother’s voice rang in my ears. 

“C’mon mom five more minutes…” I grumbled. 

“(Y/N), you need to wake up.” Her voice is more urgent. I finally opened my eyes, seeing my mother, her body engulfed in flames. 

“Wake up!” 

My body jerked as I woke up, leading to soreness in my arms and legs as a few things became clear: 

1. I was tied to a chair, and 

2. I didn’t know where I was. 

The events from last night slowly started coming back and nothing made any sense. Michael had never been controlling or abusive. Was I so blinded by the relationship that I hadn’t seen the signs? No, there were no signs. As far as I knew, Michael had no history of mental illness so something like dissociative identity disorder didn’t make sense and it wouldn’t explain the behavior either. 

There was a bandana tied around my head, keeping me from any sort of speech. From the layout of the place, it looked like an apartment Michael had, but everything was different. There was a tack board hanging in the living room with so many pictures of myself and my parents, shots that looked like they were taken without us knowing. There were scrawlings but they were too scribble-like to make out. 

The door opening brought my head to look towards the source. Michael walked in, shoving his phone into his back pocket. 

“Well good afternoon, sleepy head.” He closed the door behind him and made his way over to the chair I was bound to. 

“Alright, I’m gonna take the gag out but you can’t scream.” He smiled. 

I nodded along. With one hand, he pulled the gag from my mouth. 

“HELP! HELP ME!” I cried, hoping one of his neighbors would hear and call the police. 

“Shut up!” He slapped me across the face, the stinging pain only added to my screaming for help. 

“I said shut up!” He pulled a knife from his pocket, pressing the tip of the blade against my cheek. This new threat silences me, leaving me breathing heavily through my nose, tears making their way down my cheeks. 

“See, was that so hard?” He stood up and made his way across the room to the box TV on his floor, “I’m sorry for the mess, but with all my planning I hadn’t had a chance. I’ve been planning a big surprise and it’s finally done.” I didn’t speak, only continued to watch his movements. 

“I figure, even if you didn’t listen, you can still have your surprise.” He pressed the round power button on the screen and it fizzled to life. 

“-the same arsonist on the loose? Coming back to breaking news, the second house fire in six years occurred in the early morning today. Firefighters were called out to the residence of (Y/D/N) and (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N) where their home had gone up in flames.” There was footage of my home up in flames, streams of water coming from the firemen below. “ Both (Y/D/N) and (Y/M/N) were found dead, seemingly from being crushed by a falling support beam in their basement. Their daughter, (Y/N), has not been found and is considered missing. If you have any information on her please call Beacon Hills police.” My photo came up on the screen. 

My heart sunk into my stomach and my throat ached to scream and sob. Michael turned off the TV then and looked down at me. 

“I’m surprised they found the bodies with how hot it was.” He said nonchalantly.

“Why are you doing this?” I whispered. My parents were the nicest people in the world and treated Michael like he was a part of the family, why would he do this?  

”Don’t worry, (Y/N/N). It’s all a part of the plan.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. 

“I’m gonna head to bed, been out all night. I’ll see you in a couple hours.” He made his way to her bedroom and closed the door behind him. 

Finally, I completely broke down. Silent cries poured out. My parents were just gone in a puff of smoke. And all at the hands of someone we trusted. Someone that I trusted more than anything. 

After the grief quickly came anger. I don’t know how or when, but I am getting the hell out of here.

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Read part 2 here!

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Message me comment to to added to the General Tag or the tag list for this series!

[sakuatsutingz]

Sorry for being specific but Can I request Atsumu and Kageyama with a fem!crush who is the top female highschool volleyball player and is the only female invited to the National youth training camp and basically they were paired together for training or something? Thank youuuuuu 💞

hand in marriage anon ?? also the trainings mentioned below were from my own experience in vb training camp !! enjoy bbies <3 aLSO ATSUMUS PART GOT SELF INDULGENT SORRY YALL - jamie

atsumu & kageyama with a crush who was invited to the youth training camp

masterlist here request or talk to us here

atsumu

before we start can we appreciate the photo of tsumu like bc THATS MY MAN -jamie

you were a second year volleyball player in itachiyamas girl vbc

and it just so happened you were the top highschool female ace and server in all of japan !!

but atsumu’s never heard of u because he was too focused on his own competitors

and so when you walked through the doors of the gym, he was confused

everyone was confused

why is a female here ?? in a training outfit ?? 

answer was the female’s youth training camp was canceled due to the lack of eligible female players

and it just so happened you were the only one eligible for a youth training camp so you were redirected to the male’s youth camp

and thus u were the only female invited to the camp

searches how to be a y/n ...

let’s just say you were friends with sakusa and komori and they were the only ones in the camp informed of you being a part of it

and when you entered komori jogged up to you with a wave and greets u !! <3

“hello everyone !! im l/n y/n, i look forward to training with you all !!” “wAHH A GIRL IS WITH US ??” “WE GOTTA IMPRESS HER GUYS HOLD UP”

when atsumu saw u something inside him just felt good ??

like why does he suddenly feel like the world got just a bit brighter whenever he sees you

inwardly panics in jealousy when he sees u with sakusa and komori during lunch

he assumes you must be rlly good in vball because how else would one girl out of all be invited to a national camp meant for boys ??

the first time you guys talked was basically in a practice match

you were the temporary captain of your team and he was the temporary captain of the other team

before the match started you both shook hands like the good captains u both are lowkey wheezing abt how that was a fat lie

“let’s have a good match now, miya !” “u-uh, yeah- same for yer’ team.”

he wasnt his usually flirty self around you BYEHAHHABDBF

he was trying his hardest to actually look smooth and talk to you 

but he fails 99% of the time and his crush for you just grows even more

but on the last day of training, the serving practices basically required a partner on the opposite side of the net

your mental list of desired partners slowly narrowed as they all got their own parters, leaving atsumu for you to ask

when you went up to him with a smile he short circuited

pls help him he’s malfunctioning

“oi, miya, do you wanna be my partner ?” “yeah, yeah.”

DONT BE FOOLED BY HIS OUTER SELF HES LITERALLY DYING INSIDE

as the practices started he didn’t know what this boy has gotten himself into

atsumu is the top male highschool server

and he just so didn’t know his own partner was also the top female highschool server so it turned into a competition REAL QUICK

god damn this boy needs to read the volleyball magazines more ..

“hA YOU WERENT ABLE TO RECEIVE THAT BEAT THAT LOSER” “iTS JUST A FLUKE ILL BEAT’CHA JUST YA WAIT”

you guys turned into best friends real quick bye

sorry not sorry komori

after a long day, you were already in the bus station abt to go home

it was basically atsumu’s last chance to actually talk to you before he has only luck to see you again

so he went up to you in the bus stop like the smooth boy he is

spoiler, he wasnt. he looked real awkward tryna sit next to you

you were just scrolling on your phone until he asked u out which made u choke on AIR

like dude r u fr ??

“so um, y/n.” “yeah ?” “go out with me.”

he’s literally a blushing mess good bye

you smile bc u were literally hoping he would ask u out before u went home

you kiss him on the cheek and say yes <33

HOW TO GET AN ATSUMU MIYA IN YOUR LIFE ??????? THIS IS FUCKINMG UNFAIR

a bonus “why do you have l/n as your phone wallpaper, ‘tsumu ??” “SHUT UP ‘SAMU”

kageyama

okay so youre a first year and still the top ace and server in highschool ykyk

but this time you were on shiratorizawa’s girl vbc !!

you got invited to the camp cause they needed another person for an even number but couldn't find a male

so you got invited

kageyama would probably know who you are already

he’s been to one of your games in the nationals and that’s where his crush started <33

like he seemed to pay much more attention when it was your turn to serve !!

he wasn’t exactly oblivious about his own crush on you but he is definitely confused on why does he look at you like you’re the only player on court

it was kinda obvious so when hinata pointed it out to him it just clicked

oh shit ,, he does have a crush on y/n l/n

literally panics on what to do with it but honestly he doesn’t see you much unless you guys are on the same court

which is exactly what happened in the national youth training camp because you guys are ON THE SAME COURT

he got really flustered about it, thinking that he was to spend the next few days with you

when you get partnered together he got very quiet at first

ya'll got partnered because kageyama didn't want to ask anyone so the coaches put you together

"why did it have to be her?" "she's going to find out ,,"

very shy around you at first

but eventually once you two get comfy he becomes more like his usual self

he's a lot more caring and observant when it comes to you

i mean a lot

he would offer you to join his table during lunch

your both very good servers, so you help each other practice serves

you would need to be the one to ask him out

probably would be second to last day of camp or the last day

"hey kags? would you wanna meet up after the camp ends? like a date or something."

boy would malfunction right then and there

it would take him a moment, but would eventually accept <33

doesnt talk about it when he gets back to karasuno

but the others on the team can just s e e somethings different

he seemed happier and more motivated then usual

we all know hinatas gonna spill about his crush on u tho just saying

cause u both made a promise to see each other at nationals finals !!

and he wanted to keep that promise <33

a bonus “kageyama-kun, was that l/n from shiratorizawa you were talking to ?” “wAIT WHAT I DONT KNOW HER UM” “but you even hugged her ..”

[imaginesmai]

Arvin Russell - The preacher’s sins (1/2)

Requested by an anon, please enjoy it! It was too long, so I divided it in two parts. I’ll post the next one tomorrow!

Plot: there is nothing bigger for you than the love you feel for Arvin Russell. Not a lot of people can awaken what he does in you, with his cheeky smile and chocolate eyes. Now, a stranger threatens to break that bond, manipulating where it hurts the most.

Warnings: It’s the devil all the time, and you know the preacher. So if you’re reading this, it’s because you’re alright with what’s about to happen. Anyway, violence and manipulation.

Arvin’s car was waiting for you when your shift at the café ended. You couldn’t keep the smile off your face when you thought about the upcoming events; a whole weekend just for the two of you, in your house since your parents were away in a business travel. That meant you could sleep in the same bed, have your own space and dream about finally moving in together. As you crossed the street jogging, your bag hanging from your left shoulder, you thought you could get used to it.

He was smoking, looking ahead and lost in his thoughts. Some wild strands of hair had fallen on his face, making him look a bit more childish that usually. Arvin Russell looked as handsome as ever, and for two whole days, would be handsome only for you.

“Arv” you announced your presence when you climbed in the seat beside him, rubbing your arms in an attempt to get ride of the rain’s coldness.

“Hey, pretty girl”

Arvin dropped his denim jacket over you, and while you put it on, he threw his cigarrete through the window’s car, moving his hand around to get ride of the smoke. Once he made sure you wouldn’t choke with it, he closed the car’s windows and looked at you with a half-smile.

“I can’t believe it’s finally happening” you giggled softly, enjoying that moment of excitement and peace.

“Hope ya haven’ changed your mind” Arvin quickly pressed his lips against your cheek, before starting the car. “How was work?”

As you started talking about a cute dog which owner had let you pet, Arvin drove you to your house. He managed to listen to the story, drive safely and sneak a hand so that he could hold yours.

During most of the weeks, it was hard to see him. He was busy with his family and his part times job, taking what he could to earn a little money. Lenora took a lot of his time too, because she often got picked up by the bullies at highschool and Arvin insisted in picking her up every day. Then, he went with her to the grave yard to visit his mother, and he stayed with her until she finished. Sometimes, he would sneak for a few minutes and come visit you in the café, ordering the cheapest thing in the menu and watching you for afar.

Neither of you had a lot of free time. Your family, humble and hard-working, was also very conservative, so even if they accepted your relationship with Arvin, they didn’t like when he stayed at night. His family didn’t have a lot of free space neither, and if they had they didn’t see with good eyes sleeping together before marriage.

That week hadn’t been different. You had been working every afternoon until the sun came down, and then drove back home. The only difference was that you had been stopping briefly at the church, to talk with the new preacher. You knew Arvin didn’t like him – which was why the mood darkened on the way to your house.

“He ain’t good, Y/N” he grumbled, briefly looking at you.

“You don’t know him, it’s just – he’s new here, he needs a chance to prove himself” you defended. “I know what he did to your grandma was wrong, but we can’t judge him by one mistake!”

“It wasn’ just one mistake. He talks and talks ‘bout how everyone is a sinner but ‘im” Arvin protested.

“Arvin, please” you shifted closer to him and placed a hand on his arm. “It’ll be just a few minutes. He told me he needed my help with something, you don’t even have to see him.”

The preacher, indeed, had told you the previous day that he wanted to meet you in the church on Friday. You hadn’t told him your plans with Arvin, even if he was kind of interrupting your peaceful weekend with your boyfriend; probably, because you knew he wouldn’t approve you spending the night with him.

Deep inside, you knew that Arvin was probably right; he always was at the end, no matter what he was talking about. He was the one who said that the boy who Lenora’s was after wasn’t a good man, and now he had fun chasing her with a bag and awful words. There was something about the preacher that you didn’t like either, but you still didn’t know what. For now, you wanted to be on his good side.

“So? Can we stop?”

“I’d feel better if not” Arvin scoffed. “But I guess that’s a yes”

Arvin stopped on the graveyard, an empty place where the sun was setting already. It was dark and silent, and even you, who wanted to stop, were starting to reconsider the decision. You looked out the window, seeing that the church’s door was open and a dim light could be seen from the inside. Arvin exited the car without another word, and you knew he was pissed. He wasn’t too keen on sharing his feelings, even more when they weren’t of love or happiness.

You had been dating for seven months officially, and it had been ten since he asked you for a date after your shift at the café. There was no way you could make him talk about it and comfort him before the sun disappeared completely, so you decided to ignore him and walk towards the church. Still, before entering you looked back, half expecting him to be ready to leave and pick you later. But he had lighted up another smoke and was leaning against the car, looking to his feet.

Much less happier than before, you entered the church. You wanted nothing more than Arvin to be happy, and if you were up to wish anything, for him to have a better relationship with the rest of Knockemstiff; starting with the preacher.

He was sitting in the first row, reading from a small book. The faint lights you had seen came from the candles, which made the place much more scarier than usually. You didn’t think anything about it, not even when you made yourself heard by calling him and he told you to close the door. It was a cold, October day, so you guessed there was nothing wrong with it. After looking at Arvin once more, and receiving no smiles, you closed the door behind you.

“What did you want me for, preacher?”

“Come sit with me, Y/N” he patted the bench beside him, and you approached him. “You ever read the bible?”

“Um, a little. Lenora reads to me sometimes, a-and from what I hear on Sundays” you explained, not really wanting to say it out loud.

The truth was that you had never learned how to read. You had had to drop out of highschool at a young age because your mother had fallen ill, and your father couldn’t manage the family business on his own. With no money to buy books or material, your father had you help in on the shop. You were good with numbers, from years of experience, and you were starting to know what some words were written like thanks to Lenora and Arvin. But not a lot of people in Knockemstiff knew that you didn’t write the orders down in the café because you didn’t know how.

The preacher hummed, finally raising his eyes from the small book on his lap. He shifted closer to you, until you were sure you could hear his heartbeat. He showed you what he had been so focused on, and while you knew some of the letters, it all looked like garbage.

“This is my favourite part” he said, his voice soft but with a sharp edge. “Mom used to read it to me every night, too. You know it?”

“U-um, yeah” you said. Quickly, you tried to search for a word that you could understand. Lenora always read to you a passage of the bible when you went to their house, and maybe you could know what was it about. However, the preacher closed the bible before you had time to find it.

“God is merciful and benevolent, Y/N” he stretched one arm behind your shoulders, and you felt tears run to your eyes when you understood he knew it. It wasn’t something to be ashamed of – Arvin had managed to convince you it wasn’t, but you felt embarrassment crawl through your spine. “He forgives us all, all of our sins. But you know what is what he doesn’t forgive? Lies”

The back of your hair was grabbed with so much force that you emitted a low cry. If the door had been open, maybe Arvin would have heard you. But he angrily pacing around the graveyard, thinking about how he shouldn’t be so hard with you, and you were too afraid and embarrassed to scream any louder.

You were met with the preacher’s hard eyes, hateful and unforgivable. The back of your head throbbed from how hard he was gripping it, and finally a lonely tear made its way down your cheek. It seemed to offend him more, because he squeezed harder.

“You think you’re worthy of stepping into this temple?” he hissed, his hot breath making you shudder. “You think I wouldn’t find out that you can’t read? Or that you spend the nights with that boyfriend of yours?”

“Preacher –“

“Shut the fuck up!”

The nice man who you had been talking to the rest of the week disappeared in thin air, and you were thrown to the ground with a force you didn’t know the kind preacher had. A small cry of pain left your lips as your right wrist bent awkwardly against the edge of the bench, and you tried to move away. But the preacher had other ideas, because he hoisted you up until his face was inches away from you again.

You were sure he would just bash your head against the bench and Arvin would only have your cold body for the weekend when his face morphed, and that calm that always surrounded him was back. He sat on the bench again, and put his head against his hands, as if he was in deep thinking. Before you could think about running out of there screaming Arvin’s name, the preacher talked.

“Get naked”

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists​, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

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