#ill keep trying my best for the next chapters!!

[kabuki-writes]

Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia

chapter: 6 chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

pairing: emperor geta/emperor caracalla x acacius' daughter!reader

summary: The wedding ceremony with Emperor Geta gives you a first glimpse of what you are going to face, once the title 'Empress' crowns you. Meanwhile Caracalla has to deal with the thoughts about his twin owning you now.

warning(s): heavy nsfw & sexual violence | angst | alcohol consumption | drug consumption | semi-edited | english is not my first language, faults may occur | please let me know if i missed anything

Note: I am wishing you all a 'Merry Christmas'! Sorry that this chapter took so long, i wanted to finish it faster, but i was ill for quite some time and had no head for writing. No worries though, i am feeling better now! A small reminder: Due to the holidays, the next chapter might take a bit of time.

word count: 3.6k

Gods expected rituals and nothing in Rome was more important, more holy and more strict to certain rules than a wedding - especially the wedding of an Emperor. A whole series of necessaries had to be prepared in advance to this special celebration before the bride and the groom were able to stand in front of the altar. From the preparation of the dowry to the sacrifices made to the gods. It all began with the most formal part: engagement ceremony, where the exchange of promises between the groom and the bride's father hold more significance than the words of the soon-to-be-wed woman. In Roman society, being born a female was still strongly bound to ownership. First the ownership of the father and then the ownership of the husband. And even though rich Roman women had more freedom than others, it was still a life in societal chains.

Now that you sat on the floor to your mother‘s feet, you instantly thought about the eyes of that lamb your family had brought to the temple of Juno as a sacrifice. The innocence in its eyes slaughtered by the dagger of the priest. One Life for another Life - yours. Did Juno have her blessing? How could you know right now.

„Mother…?“, you spoke out as you noticed the shaking hands and the tears in your mother‘s eyes.

She was pale as marble, trying her best to keep her face, but you were well aware of how much it destroyed her and your father to let you go - especially when the arms of your soon-to-be-husband were Emperor Geta. As a daughter, you tried your best to comfort your mother, as much as it hurt you too. Your hands took hers, gently squeezing them, while your eyes found hers. "I shouldn't cry, i know...", she whispered and placed her hand on your cheek through the thin fabric of the flame-coloured veil that covered your face. Your body was clothed in a beautiful white tunica dress, embroidered with golden depictions of different flowers. You were shackled by the amount of jewelry - engagement presents of Emperor Geta for his bride -, expensive golden necklaces and bracelets that should depict the status you will have standing by his side. Although you were no Empress yet, you wore a bridal crown on top of your carefully braided hair. One of woven fragrant herbs and flowers, Rosemary, verbena, marjoram, roses, violets, and lilies, to represent fertility.

"My beautiful daughter, even Venus would envy you now. But i had wished that... that you would not have to marry a man like-"

"Don't", you stopped her, knowing fully well, which name she was about to say and you shook her head. It was meaningless to express any form of sorrow or hatred, even if this wedding was a forced one - a trade for your own life and that of your parents. Terrible or not, it would bring honor to your family and in the end, it would make you Empress. A gift as well as a heavy burden, especially given the man that will be your husband - your Emperor. Geta.

A marriage ceremony always followed specific rules, that were meant to please the gods. A scacrifice in the temples of Juno and Jupiter was mandatory, but soon you'll face another significant part of your wedding. As Romans believed the only bride of value was a virgin who had to be stolen from her family, they simulated the bride being abducted from her family as part of the ceremony. You were able to hear the chants and chattering of the big entourage of guests arriving to you parent's home outside - accompanied by a large amount of Praetorian Guards and the Emperor himself. Usually the large wedding feast and celebration would take place at the bride's family home, but given the significance of an Emperor's wedding and the amount of guests, it was agreed that it would take place in the palace after the procession.

Even if you tried to face it with a stoic mask, your heart pumped against your chest - a mixture of excitement and fear. Your eyes closed for a moment, as you heard the footsteps and voices of the Praetorian soldiers and amongst them Geta's, who was the first to enter the room. You were still facing your mother, holding her hands tight, while tears ran down her face. "I am here to claim my bride", the Emperor called out with a triumphant smile on his face, dressed in a golden, heavy decorated armor and a white groom's toga - a depiction like a god. Unusual for a wedding ceremony, but it was a symbol. A symbol of the power and wealth of the twin's reign, a symbol of his triumph over General Acacius, who had no choice anymore than to give him his most precious belonging - his daughter.

Seeing you there on your knees was a sight we might never forget. Even if your back faced him, he could see your curves under the garment you wore and he immediately thought about the wedding night, which was the highlight in his mind for today. But right now he had to calm himself, as he stepped forward and suddenly took you at the waist to pull you from your crying mother's embrace. "Mother!", you screamed as the groom forced you to go with him, tears dripping down your cheeks under the flame-red veil. The tradition dictated that the bride would cry out in pain to fool the gods of the home that she was taken away, 'stolen' before you would have to walk the procession without the protection of any god until you stepped into the home of the groom.

All of Rome had gathered in the streets to witness the procession of the Emperor's wedding. You stood at his side on a richly decorated chariot carried by two pale-white horses. The big amount of wedding guests accompanied your path by singing the Hymenaeus and carrying a whitehorn torch, a spina alba, to honor the goddess Ceres. Normally you would simply walk to the palace, as it was the core of such a parade, but nothing was normal about an Emperor's wedding and especially not Geta's. He wanted to show-off, he wanted eveyone to know how powerful he was and that he was now marrying the daughter of one of Rome's most successful beloved generals. It was all calculated and everything followed a plan, he viewed as perfect. This union was not only a definite way to get you, it formed an even closer bond between his and his brother's reign and your father's role as a military general. Would he ever betray them again, it will also be a betrayal against you. And another calculated side-effect was the use of Acacius' popularity through a marriage with his daughter.

The masses cheered for you and for the Emperor, they wished you "feliciter" - "good luck" for your marriage, some of them even shouted your name. It felt surreal and you were glad that the veil covered your face, while you bit your tongue. The palace, your new home, on the palatin hill looked even more oppressive than the last time you'd faced it. Your heart was heavy and you could practically feel the stare Geta gave you, but also the one of Caracalla, who followed you two alongside your father and mother as part of the wedding procession. There was something lingering in his eyes, something you didn't notice as you were focused on what lied ahead. Geta leaned towards your ear and whispered.

"Isn't it exciting, my dear...? You will soon be the wife of an Emperor, my wife." He accenturated his last words, almost as if he had to point out that your life center will soon be him and him alone.

"How could i forget. Just as i may never forget the true reason, why i am here. A threat is still a threat", you answered in a low tone, provocative.

But the groom simply chuckled and turned his face towards the cheering masses again, waving to the common folk. He didn't really care about them in any way, but he knew well about the power of such events in the eyes of the plebs. And to accompany this wedding, he'd already ordered games in the collosseum and many festivities around Rome in honor of his special day.

"Let me tell you that i rather enjoy those little outbursts of hatred. I will ask you again, once you enjoy all the privileges an Empress has. I can be a generous man, as long as you're not testing my patience. For now, i simply expect you to smile and show those peasants the beauty of their beloved general's daughter. Let them see that the sun is shining upon them in the presence of Venus."

Words like honey and yet they tasted bitter to you, while his hand was locked on your back, not only to stabilize you on the chariot, but also holding you tightly against his own body. You belonged to him now and he wanted everyone to see that.

_______________________________

“Ubi tu Gaia, Ego Gaius.”

“Ubi tu Gaius, Ego Gaia.”

The words still rang in your head, again and again, even as the music and the chattering of the feast surrounded you. And you still felt the kiss of Geta's lips on yours, even if it was only the beginning. You were considered married now.

Fire and Water. The symbol of life. The moment you stood at the main door of the palace, a matron of honor hold a candle and a bowl of water, as both you and Geta traced your hands over it. He was able to lift your veil at that point, kiss you and carry you over the doorstep - it was that simple in the end. And it had sealed your life forever.

It was necessary and yet the kiss was longer than it should've been as it was the first symbolic union of groom and bride in front of the wedding guests, who cheered and honored them with chanter and congratulations. And even though it was just a kiss on the lips, nothing more, you could practically sense the hunger of Geta, the hunger for more. Of course it had to wait until he got you in his bed the first time, but this would soon become a reality and you didn't know if you were ready for it.

The music and the voices of the people were still a numb background sound as your eyes glanced over the room, while you were sitting right next to your now husband on a lectus, receiving one personal congratulation after another. The palace was richly decorated, even more than the last time you were here for the victory celebrations of your father. Hordes of servants ran around to assure that all the guests had enough of the expensive wine and expansive food, luxuriously presented on a long table with tons of fruits, vegetables, fish as well as expensive, rare meat such as ostrich, peacock and wild deer.

Roman generals, politicians, rich merchants, every patrician from Rome’s upper class had gathered here to celebrate the union between Emperor Geta and his new wife. The wedding gifts ranging from gold, jewelry and silk to exotic animals were piling up in another room, as servants had to walk in and out, every time another guest paid his respect. You gave them your smile and your words of thanks and yet none of it really reached your eyes, as you were still trying to cope with the fact that they now adressed you as 'Empress'. Your eyes went to your parents, which were part of the guests, who participated in the feast and celebrations. But you could clearly see the pain in your father's eyes and the pale face of your mother, who could barely eat something even though she tried to hide her sorrows behind her rehearsed mask of charm and politeness. Their eyes find yours in certain moments and it hurt you the most to see them like this as you knew very well, that your father gave himself the blame for your current situation. But you had already moved on, as it made no sense to cry about the past in any way.

But you were pulled from your thoughts, when it was Emperor Caracalla, who stepped forward to pay his respect to the new wed couple. The twin of Geta with the golden laurel wreath crown on his head was dressed in an ornate that depicted his wealth, expensive embroidered silk in dark blue and purple colors, a stark contrast to his gingerblonde, wild hair. Even though he smiled, you could see that it was a forced one, a bitter smile, hiding his true thoughts. "Brother, i congratulate you and your beautiful wife on your wedding. May the gods bless this union," he spoke out, while Geta already stood up and you followed him.

"Your words mean the most to me, Caracalla. Thank you," his twin answered with a happy smile as he took him into his arms and hugged him tight.

Even though Geta came off as a crual human being sometimes, it was undeniable that he hold nothing but a strong brotherly love for his twin, despite them sharing the power. After Geta, Carcalla turned to you and placed his hands on your cheeks.

"I welcome you to the family," he whispered, before he placed one kiss on each side of your cheek.

It was not an uncommon gesture to do so, especially not as a way to welcome someone in a new household - but Geta's eyes were locked on you two as his brother did so. And you were very aware that something was off in this very moment, as you could feel the slightly trembling fingers of Caracalla on your skin, as if he had to hold himself back. He quickly stepped back, staring into your eyes, while a servant rushed to him, giving the Emperor a small wooden box, carved with all sorts of flowers.

"I thought, ... since you'e now the new Empress of Rome, the only present worth your grace would be a crown that truly underlines your beauty," Caracalla explained and opened the box.

In it was a golden half-round Roman-styled tiara with ornamental decorations, well-crafted with every little detail that catched your eyes. It was stunning, even given all the expensive jewelry with which Geta had hung you, it was still breathtaking. A soft smile appeared on your lips, before you spoke your words.

"This is a wonderful and very generous gift, my Emperor. I thank you dearly". Caracalla's lips shuddered, before he forced an almost innocent smile on them too.

"This tiara is made after my personal request. The artist was assigned to model it after the crown that Empress Poppea wore once. The wife of Emperor Nero. I thought you might like the... historical connotation to it".

Your face grew pale, while you tried your best to keep your smile in place. Geta didn't seemed to realize what his brother meant with that - but you did. You instantly remembered the conversation you had with him at the amphitheater, you remembered the way he looked at you, the desire in his eyes, that was still present in this very moment. And even though his brother did not understand the true meaning behind Caracalla's gift, he did sense the tension that lingered in the air.

"Thank you, brother", he instantly cut the air with his voice, his hands softly taking the tiara out of the box before you could do anything.

Geta positioned himself between you and Caracalla, a very clear symbol that even if he tolerated his brother in your presence and might even be willing to allow him much more freedom than a husband would, it was still Geta, who called you his wife now. You were his. So it was him, who placed the tiara onto your head, where it perfectly fit with the half-bridal hairstyle you wore. His eyes lingered on your face for a moment, before his fingers touched your skin as he pushed one of your straints of hair back in place before leaning down to your ear.

"Just a little more time and then I'll have you all to myself", he whispered, before he turned to his seat again.

There was only one step for this marriage to be fully recognized in the eyes of the gods and it was the wedding night - Geta's prize, which he longed for and Caracalla's hell. The reminder he will not be the first to have you, but his twin.

_______________________________

"Say it! SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME!", he hissed over and over again, pounding harder with each word.

His fingers pressed against the neck of a concubine, while his golden rings tightly pinched into the soft flesh. She wore quite a similar attire than you did today, her hair styled like yours, her face at least reminding Caracalla of you. But that concubine was nothing like you, a dull replacement, a vessel the Emperor needed to get the heat and anger off his mind as he fucked her senseless under the eyes of his entourage of male and female slaves. No one said a word, fear was written in their eyes, because they knew it was one of their owners 'outbursts'. They could see how the young woman tried desperately to get a catch of air, while Caracalla strangled her in his psychotic state, tears running down his cheeks as he did so. Instead of his brother it should've been him to marry you, to fuck you, to love you like you deserved. A goddess amongst the common humans, a Venus. He was Nero and you were his Poppea. At least here in his own chambers, he could play out this fantasy, while the wedding celebration still went on and you were probably on your way to the chambers of his damned twin brother Geta. It needed a lot of sex and a cocktail of ancient drugs to numb his thoughts over this injustice.

"I love you-..., my Emperor", the young woman under him moaned with all the strength that she could find in a situation like that, the fear of losing her life all written on her face.

But those words were the ones Caracalla needed to hear. With a couple of heavy thrusts, he came inside of her, spilling his semen into that concubine like he would've done with you - if he just had the chance. His eyes were still shimmering wet with his tears, while he pulled back, catching his breath for himself in this moment. The young woman layed on the mattress in front of him, still alive, but in a state of bliss and shock, her eyes wet in tears as well. She wasn't able to say something, and even if so, she were not allowed to do anyways. Caracalla's ice-blue eyes stared cold at her naked body, freezing in the moment as he tried to still pretend to himself that it was you laying in front of him. But it wasn't you and it hit his mind now. This woman was just another whore he tried so desperately to numb his thoughts with. Yet the voices in his head grew louder and louder. "Get her out of my sight!", the Emperor ordered.

"I don't want to see this girl ever again. She is nothing compared to her - throw her away, i cannot stand this waste any longer!", he screamed with a hoarse voice, still sobbing.

"Where is Dondus!?"

No one dared to speak up in a situation like that, no one even dared to look at Caracalla. Everything that might anger the young Emperor could end in an immediate death right now. Even the slave that always carried his pet monkey around, simply rushed to the Emperor and handed him over Dondus in silence, before retreating as fast as possible.

"Oh Dondus, all of this is so unfair. Every time i desire something, he has to take it from me. Nothing truly belongs to me and me alone... it is alwas us", he mumbled with a shake in his voice, while he carefully took his monkey and placed him on a pillow as if it was his child.

Caracalla never treated anyone as careful and caring as he treated his pet monkey. In fact, he could be quite cruel, depending on his mood that changed rapidly between weird happiness and irrational anger. This little animal had more importance to him than any human life - well, except for yours of course. And everyone here knew this. The Emperor would never hurt Dondus, but it only took one outburst of hate for a slave or even a patrician to lose their head in an instant.

"I want her, my Poppea ... i cannot stand the thought of not having her...i cannot. I love you her you understand this, Dondus, don't you? No one understands me the way you do. She is an incarnation of Venus."

But Dondus just looked at him with his dark button eyes - how could a monkey understand love? And how could he understand, how much it pain it left in Caracalla.

____________________________

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[yandere-daydreams]

Screening: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978).

Pairing: Yandere!Carlisle Cullen x Reader (Twilight).

Word Count: 2.1k.

TW: Wildly Unbalanced Power Dynamics, Medical Malpractice, Blood, Controlling Behavior, Deliberate Social Isolation, Misuse of Prescription Drugs, and Generalized Twilight. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.

It might’ve just been the isolation getting to you, but you were starting to think that your doctor wasn’t completely human.

Not that you’d ever say so out loud. At best, it was awful thing to think about a man who’d only ever been kind to you and, at worst, it proved yet another symptom to your ever-developing, ever-worsening illness had cropped up and would need further treatment to correct. You knew better than to say things that would make you seem more sick than you already were, but it was hard to stop yourself from lingering on the idea – especially considering you only had books, sleep, and his company to pass the endless time. Admittedly, it’d been a while since you’d seen another person, but you could’ve sworn he was paler than he should’ve been, to the point of bloodlessness. He never ate or drank around you, but sometimes when he spoke, the light would catch on his teeth in a way that made them look too sharp, too prominent. You might’ve been dreaming, but once, after you took your medicine but just before you fell asleep, you swore you saw him taking the cap off of the blood sample he’d taken a few minutes prior, like he planned to do something aside from—

You heard a door open and instantly, your paranoia was dismissed in favor of more interesting stimuli. In this case, that came in the form of your doctor, Carlisle Cullen, stepping into your bedroom, an inhumanly perfect smile already painted across his inhumanly perfect lips.

…maybe you should tell somebody about your little conspiracy. If only to be absolutely sure that you were really losing your mind.

“Good morning,” he said, and it occurred to you that you hadn’t thought to check the time, yet. Your life existed in three states: alone, asleep, and with Carlisle. Only that last one really mattered – the other two could easily be lumped into the same category helpfully labeled ‘waiting for Carlisle’s next visit’. “Have you been keeping yourself busy?”

“I’ve only been awake for a couple hours,” you explained, shrugging as he took his usual seat in the chair left next to your bed. He was always polite enough to ask about the boring details of your day, and you were always embarrassed enough to skirt around just how little you had the energy for. Most of the time, it was all you could do to pull yourself out of bed and yourself to eat before retreating back into your little safe haven. On a good day, you’d be able to go for a walk, maybe respond to a few of the calls you were constantly missing, but most days weren’t very good. “Reading, mostly. Thanks again for the recommendation.”

The book he’d lent you – a dry historical drama with characters as bland as water and a plot as boring as sin – sat open on your lap, but you’d only gotten through half a chapter before giving up. It was hard to believe Carlisle was only a few years older than you, sometimes. You couldn’t imagine how someone who seemed so young could have such awful taste.

Still, he looked pleased, his pleasantly aloof expression taking on a defined note of satisfaction. “It’s important to keep your mind occupied while your body’s recovering. You wouldn’t want to waste all of my hard work by letting yourself die of boredom, now, would you?”

“No, doctor.” It was stupid to try, but he’d set himself up for it. You couldn’t seem to stop yourself, your heart beating just a little faster as you grasped blindly for the impossible. “You know, there’s this friend of mine who keeps asking when she’ll be able to visit, and I thought it might help pass the time if—”  

“You’ll have to find a way to let her down.” Carlisle’s voice was smooth, calm. You did your best not to sulk, but still, he let out a labored sigh, only a touch too professional to roll his eyes. “It’s for the best. It’s good that you stay active, but you know what’ll happen if you overexert yourself, don’t you?”

Vaguely. It was hard to remember the details of your condition, and you weren’t in the mood for another lecture. “I do, doctor.”

“And you’re going to behave your check-up, aren’t you?”

“I am, doctor.”

“And that’s why you’re my favorite patient.” Your compliance was rewarded with a beaming smile, an appeased nod as he pulled his old-fashioned leather doctor’s bag into his lap. “We better make good on that promise before you change your mind, then.”

You didn’t protest. Honestly, you didn’t say much of anything. You never talked during your exam, preferring to let Carlisle go through the necessary motions with as little interference as possible. Instead, he filled the silence with mindless chatter about his children and how they were doing at the local public school, the hospital’s ongoings since you were unofficially discharged, and your favorite – Forks’ particularly colorful smalltown gossip, from the sheriff’s wayward daughter moving back into town to the spike in bear sightings on the local hiking paths. “It’ll be a busy week,” he mentioned, as he finished taking your blood pressure. “You might have some unexpected company, after all.”

At that, you perked up. You met nearly all of Carlisle’s assistants (medical students, you guessed, judging by their ages) by now, and even if you didn’t care for all of them, it was still nice to see someone other than him. Your least favorites were the dark haired twins – the wiry boy who always seemed to be biting back a smirk and the pixie-like girl who always acted like she knew something you didn’t – and you were particularly fond of the blonde girl… Rosemary, or maybe Rosaline. She was nice, compassionate, kind enough to keep you company even when Carlisle wasn’t in the room. More importantly, she brought interesting books – romance and horror, novels like Dracula and Carmilla and Interview with a Vampire, always handing over with a sweet smile and a hushed reminder not to let Carlisle know she was breaking his rules. Looking back on it, you probably shouldn’t have accepted anything she tried to give you. You would’ve hated for her to get in trouble just because she was trying to be nice.

Rather than voicing your overwhelming bias, you watched intently as he slipped the loose cuff off of your arm, tucking it back into his bag and removing something else, something long and silver and sharp. Immediately, your gaze shot back to your lap, your throat going dry in an instant. The next time you managed to spit something out, it was nearly too quiet to be audible. “…is there any chance we could, uh, I don’t know,” You paused, shrunk into yourself. “…skip the phlebotomy, this time?”

Carlisle’s answer was as swift as it was ruthless. An airy laugh, a jagged twist to this smile as he took up the needle properly and turned it over in his hand, looking for defects. It was already attached the glass syringe and, even worse, an empty vial; just a touch bigger than you remembered it being, the day before. “And take that kind of risk? How little do you think of me, (Y/n)?”

“It’s not you, it’s just—I already feel a little faint, and you take one every day, and—” You cut yourself off, inhaling sharply. “I just don’t know if it’s really necessary. Considering how careful you are and everything.”

“You’re right, I am careful. Which is exactly why I have to do this each and every time I come to see you.” He sighed, shook his head – suddenly more of a patronizing, paternal figure than any kind of medical professional, let alone peer. “You understand, don’t you? Without regular testing, your condition may worsen, and if you get any sicker than you are now…” You stiffened as he trailed off, bracing yourself. You knew what came next, what always came next.

“You’ll have to go back to the hospital, angel.”

It was strange, how a voice as smooth and as beautiful as his could be so difficult to listen to.

You didn’t like Carlisle. You hated his condescending smile, his repetitive rambling, his terrible taste in books and his creepy little students. You hated how little he let you do, how he talked about your illness – always skirting around the details, never giving you enough information to know whether you were on the verge of dying or a few days away from making a full recovery. No, when you were honest with yourself, you didn’t like him. Hated him, even.

But you couldn’t go back to the hospital, with its blank white walls and sobbing patients and strange, mind-altering drugs that put your sleep and made you feel like someone was biting into your throat. It’d been a miracle when Carlisle first told you about his domestic services, when he offered to have you discharged in exchange for only the promise that you wouldn’t seek care that didn’t come from him. Arrangements were made, your rent and bills taken over by some nameless, faceless local charity, and for the first time in months, you got to go home. You could live with Carlisle and his once weekly, now daily check-ups. You could live with the fact that you didn’t remember the last time you’d gotten to make a decision for yourself.

And, if you had to, you could live with paying for your freedom in blood, too. As long as it meant you didn’t have to go back to that terrible place.

Once again, you didn’t say anything, but you didn’t resist as he sighed and ran a sterilizing pad over your forearm, the antibiotic strong enough to burn. You clenched your eyes shut, but that did nothing to block out the feeling of a thin elastic band being wrapped around the crook of your elbow, of his needle pushing through your skin and burrowing into the vein underneath it. There was a second of pressure, of knotted soreness, and then, the syringe was gone and you were left feeling just a little colder, just a little more empty than you had before.

Even after opening your eyes, you kept them trained on your lap. You easily could’ve spent the rest of his visit in silence, but metal clinked against glass as he rushed to cap his vial and suddenly, you needed to hear the sound of your own voice. “I think I might be getting paranoid,” you managed, with a breath of a laugh. “For a few minutes this morning, I was able to convince myself that you were… I don’t know, an alien studying humanity, or something.”

“If I was, I’m sure that I would still pick you as the best possible specimen for my examination.” It was hollow comfort, but you smiled anyway, nodding along. Your medication came next, in the form of a small, chalky white pill that you still struggled to swallow under Carlisle’s vigilant gaze. You managed to choke it down, though, and as always, the effects were instant; a sudden clearness, blankness, followed shortly by an exhaustion so thick and so heavy, you couldn’t remember what it’d ever felt like not to be tired. You tried to hold yourself up, but faltered – buckling under your own weight. Carlisle chuckled as he caught you, helping you lay down with a soft squeeze to your shoulder, a feather-light kiss to the top of your head. “Sleep, angel. It’s good for you.” And then, his grin still pressing into your scalp. “And try not to dream about vampires, this time.”

So he did know about Rosalie’s books. Pouting, you shrunk into yourself, letting him drag the comforter over your abruptly immobile body as your eyes eased shut, as he pulled away – a vial of your blood still warm in his hand. It would’ve been impossible to stop yourself from falling asleep, but you managed to stave off unconscious long enough to watch him remove the vial’s carefully applied seal, to unscrew the air-tight cap with the kind of tenderness you’d only seen him use while taking your temperature or petting his fingers through your hair after he thought you were already too far gone to remember. He did a lot of things when he thought you weren’t looking, didn’t he? You’d never really noticed that, before.

Through your eyelashes, you watched him bring the vial to his lips before everything went dark.

[darlingdaisyfarm]

This honestly might be a downer or stupid, but I just got fired and I am having a really hard time. I just want to bury my head in Stan's chest and sob. I was wondering if you could write how the Stan and Ford might react to the reader being suddenly fired and maybe how they'd comfort them? I'm also really excited for the next chapter of your fic!

✧˚⋆ Stan & Ford supporting you when you need it most ⋆｡♡˚

oh sweetheart, im so sorry ur going through this, holy shit. just the moment i received this ask, i knew i had to write smth when ill get free time today, because i feel so sorry for you. i hope these two old men gave u even a tiny bit of comfort, please be kind to urself right now, youre gonna get through this, i promise. sending u all my love !! stay strong please 🫂🫂

STANLEY

the thing about Stan is that he gets it. he gets the feeling of being chewed up and spat out, of having doors slam in your face, of working your ass off and still being told you’re not enough. he gets the quiet humiliation, the bitterness in the back of your throat, the way your hands shake when you try to act like it doesn’t matterm

you don’t even remember how you got here. your feet must’ve carried you through the streets, past strangers whose lives weren’t just ruined, past cars honking, past buildings that still stood while the whole world inside you had collapsed.

“hey, hey. what the hell, sweetheart, breathe, alright? you’re okay, you’re right here.” his rough but worried voice reaches you when you slam mystery shack's door open, standing in the doorway with shaking hands, red-eyed.

“i got fired, Stan. j-just gone, outta nowhere. i don’t know what to do, Stan, im so lost.” your throat burns

before you can say anything else, he's opening his arms. “c'mere.” and you don't even hesitate as you crash into him like a wave, burying your face in his chest. and he holds you, one big arm wrapping around your back, the other hand coming up to cradle the back of your head

“there we go. you don’t gotta keep it all in, sweetheart.” the words hit you harder than you expect. you're so used to holding it together, to swallowing everything down, to being strong. and Stan, who’s built himself up from nothing, who’s taken every punch life threw at him and still kept standing, he’s telling you it’s okay to break.

so you do. you bury your face in his chest and cry until you’re dizzy, until your breath stutters and shakes, until all the anger and hurt and fear bleed out of you. Stanley doesn’t rush you or tell you to stop. “let it out, sweetie, s’gonna be okay.” he holds you close tightly because he’s spent his whole life holding people who needed it more than he did.

“it’s not fair,” you gasp, clutching on his clothes.

“no, it ain’t.”

“i worked so hard.”

“i know.”

“i feel like—like nothing i do is enough—”

Stan tightens his hold, pressing his chin to the top of your head. “hey. you listen to me.” his voice turns serious. “some suit in an office makin’ a crap decision got nothing to do with who you are. they're dumb. absolute morons for lettin’ you go. betcha the whole place is gonna fall apart without you because you were the best thing about that shithole. if they couldn’t see that, then screw ‘em. they lost you. not the other way around.”

you shake your head, clenching your fists. “but—“

“no buts,” he growls and then, softer: “you're not trash just ‘cause some idiots don’t know how to treat their workers. you're not worthless just ‘cause some suits decided you were expendable. you are not nothing.”

Stan pulls back to tip your chin up, making sure you’re listening. his thumb wipes a tear off your cheek. “i mean, you still got me, sweetheart. ain’t no job in the world that could change that.” he smiles genuinely at you.

you close your eyes, giving him a tiny sad smile back. you let yourself breathe, let yourself believe it, hiding your face in his chest again. Stan's grip stays strong and unshaking, shielding you from the whole world as you cry until you’re too tired, so all what you do is sob into his chest. you’re just leaning into him, exhausted, letting him hold you up.

Stan sighs, resting his cheek against your hair. “ya ever heard the story of the biggest screw-up in New Jersey?”

you sniffle. “what?”

”lemme tell ya, kid grows up in a house that don’t want him. gets kicked out. loses every job he ever had. ends up in a broken-down shack in the middle of nowhere. total loser.”

you shift against him. “Stan—“

“but he keeps goin’. and somehow, somehow, that dumbass loser ends up with people who love him. ends up holdin’ someone who needs it. ends up tellin’ the best damn person he’s ever met that they’re gonna be okay.”

he lets you lean into him again, lets you breathe him in, lets you stay as long as you need. tells you stories about all the bosses he’s scammed just to make you laugh.

at some point, when the tears have slowed and the weight in your chest isn’t crushing anymore, Stan ruffles your hair and leans back, arms crossed.

“y’know, i could use an extra set of hands around the shack.“

you blink up at him, sniffing. “what? you. . .you want me to work here?”

“yeah, id rather have someone i actually like workin’ here instead of hiring some random kid who’s just gonna rob me blind.” his usual gruff tone is back, but his gaze is what speaks louder, soft and certain, making it obvious that you belong here.

you open your mouth, but he cuts in, pointing a finger at you. “and before ya say some crap about not bein’ good enough or whatever, shut up. i’m the boss, i decide who’s good enough, and i say it’s you.”

you let out a shaky laugh, wiping your nose. “wow, such a heartfelt offer.”

he smirks. “hey, that’s as heartfelt as it gets, sweetheart. but seriously. think about it, okay? i got a spot for ya.” Stanley is not just offering a job for you, he’s offering a place, a place where you’re wanted, where you’re needed, where you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.

you take a deep breath, feeling lighter for the first time all day. “yeah. yeah, i’ll think about it.”

“good,” Stan smiles and ruffles your hair again. “now, wanna eat somethin’? watch a dumb movie? beat me at cards? or you want me to egg their car?” about the last thing, he's joking, probably. but if you say yes, you know he’ll do it.

STANFORD

Ford finds you sitting at the kitchen table, arms crossed on the surface, face buried in them. you haven’t moved and spoken in a while, just sat there, motionless, like a puppet with the strings cut.

he clears his throat, stepping closer. “i, ah. noticed you didn’t come in for dinner.”

you don’t respond. his brows knit together, concern creasing his forehead. he takes the seat across from you, folding his hands on the table. “would you like to talk about it?”

for a moment, nothing. then, muffled: “i got fired.” slips from your mouth. so that's what happened. Ford doesn’t say oh. doesn’t say im sorry. doesn’t say what happened? he understands you because Ford Pines knows what it is to be discarded. he knows what it is to dedicate yourself to something, only to be told you are wrong. to be shoved out, unmoored, drifting in the space between who you thought you were and who they’ve decided you are now.

he knows what it is to look down at his hands and wonder if they are still meant to build something. after being betrayed.

he frowns thoughtfully. “that was. . . rather sudden, wasn’t it?”

you nod weakly. Ford exhales through his nose, gaze sharpening, analyzing. you. your sadness. the whole situation.

“it must feel unfair.“ he doesn’t just acknowledge the loss, but the injustice of it. and it makes your throat close up.

you lift your head slightly, looking at his face. “it- it is. i tried so hard. i put so much effort into that stupid job, and now it’s just—just gone.”

Ford hums. “tell me something.” he leans forward, putting elbows on the table. “do you think your value was in the work you did?”

you blink at him, but he doesn't even let you answer. “because if that were the case, then the moment you lost that job, you would have lost all worth as a person. but that’s not true, is it?” his voice is always so calm, full of absolute certainty.

you shake your head slowly, unsurely and Ford nods, satisfied. then, after a brief pause, he stands. “wait here” you don’t have the energy to question him. you just sit, staring blankly at the tabletop, until he returns a moment later with a notebook and pen.

he places them in front of you.

you glance up, confused. “what’s this for?”

Ford takes his seat again, tapping a finger against the cover. “do me a favor, darling. write down five things about yourself that have nothing to do with your job.”

your face looks tired and skeptical. you stare at the paper. “Ford, i—“

“anything,” he says softly, smiling at you. “everything. what you love. what you’re good at. what excites you, what makes you feel something. what matters to you.”

your fingers tighten around the pen. at first, you don’t know where to start. but Ford doesn’t rush you, just patiently sits beside you.

so you write. you write about the things that make you you. and at first, it feels stupid and awkward. it starts small, your favorite books, your favorite songs, the way you love thunderstorms, the way you always make extra coffee just in case someone else wants some.

but then it gets bigger. the things you’ve created. the things you’ve learned. the times you were kind when no one was looking. the people who love you, who see you. the way you keep going, even when it’s hard

Ford watches as you write, nodding approvingly at each entry.

“now tell me: did losing your job take any of that away?”

you stare at the words. the little pieces of yourself you hadn’t even thought about in the wake of everything. softly, you shake your head

Ford’s expression gentles. “then you’re still you. and you’re still worth just as much as you were yesterday. because no job, no institution, no single event defines you.” you swallow hard. Fords voice drops lower. “you are more than what you do, more than what you produce, more than what some company decides you’re worth. you are your thoughts. your curiosity. your kindness.” he gestures to the list. “you are all of this and nothing can take that from you.”

your breath wobbles. Ford’s gaze softens further. “come here, sweetheart.“ you hesitate but only for a second, then stand and he meets you halfway, arms wrapping around you. and Ford isn’t Stanley, isn’t someone used to giving big, open, thoughtless affection. but what he lacks in ease, he makes up for in intent.

because he means this. his big hand moves up and down your back slowly. “you’re not alone in this,” he murmurs into your hair. “we’ll figure something out. and until then. . . you are still extraordinary.“ his voice is so certain, and suddenly you don’t feel quite as lost.

“th-thank you” you bury your face in his sweater, hands gripping his sleeves

“and don’t let anyone ever tell you you aren’t smart or brave or worthy enough.”

you stay there a while. until Ford gives your shoulder one last squeeze and pulls back, adjusting his glasses. “now. i assume you haven’t eaten?”

you smile at him, shaking your head. “no, wasn't in the mood.“

“come, sweetheart, let’s fix that.”

[justagirlwholikesadam]

His Queen

Summary: Leonidas is growing up and he finally realized the kind of man his so called father, Joffrey is.

Warning: Joffrey is a tag itself, child abuse, Gregor has a part of this story, Sandor trying his best, reader suffers. Sandor x Fem!Reader

A/N: I have risen from the dead, I'm so sorry for not posting lately. please be patience with me because I'm still updating more stories. Enjoy -L

Word Count: 5.5K

Chapter: Two

Leonidas was young in age when he found out how cruel Joffrey could be. He had a bad temper and a vile tongue. Leonidas witnessed Joffrey order Meryn Trant to kill an innocent man for his own amusement. The face of the innocent man plagued Leonidas’s mind. His screams for mercy and the sound of Meryn Trant’s sword slicing the man’s head off taunted him along with his father’s laughter.

The knight standing guard barged into his bed chamber when he heard the prince crying in his sleep. The young prince woke up in tears, Leonidas begged him to get you. A few minutes later, you arrived running. You held your son in your arms as he told you about Joffrey killing that man. After calming Leonidas, you tucked him in bed and sat next to him brushing his thick brown curls out of his face with your fingers. You decided to tell Leonidas what Sandor told you once. Leonidas was now, realizing what kind of man Joffrey was and you had to tell him how things worked. You wanted to wait for him until he was the right age but Leonidas was smart for his age, both of your children were.

“My sweet boy, the world is built by killers. You have to get used to looking at them.” You told him, his brown eyes widened at you.

“One day you will be one too.” You told him.

“What if I don’t want to be one? What if I don’t want to hurt people, mother?” Leonidas told you as he tried to get out of bed. You grew worried, he looked like he was about to cry again. You gently pushed him back down and grabbed his hands with yours.

“Leo.” You called him by his nickname gently. “When the day comes you will. You will kill to protect your family, to protect your loved ones and to protect your kingdom.”

A tear slipped from his eye. “I don’t want to be like him.”

“I don’t want to be like, father. He’s a killer. A monster.” You held his hands and looked back at the closed door of his chambers. You didn't want the knight by his door to listen to your son. Joffrey would punish anyone who spoke ill of him.

“You aren’t like him, my Leo. You never will be.” You told him firmly as you leaned down to kiss his forehead.

“When the day comes that you have to make a decision whether or not to take someone's life. Do it for the right reason.” Leonidas nodded at you, he kept silent when he saw the collar of your robe move as you stood up from his bed. He frowned at the black and blue bruised handprint on your neck.

It was then Leonidas began to see how things were. He noticed how his father acted, how his father ruled the kingdom with fear and with no compassion. He noticed the bruises on you and the way you tried to hide it from everyone. He noticed his grandmother, Cersei, was the same as his father. He was the age of 16 when he came to terms with his father’s cruelty. He finally understood the jokes that were aimed at his uncle, Tyrion. He understood why people were so afraid of Gregor and Sandor but Leonidas didn't mind Sandor, not after Sandor opened up to him about his burnt face.

It was the day he found out about the vile things Gregor had done when Joffrey blurted out his “accomplishments.” He asked Sandor about it. Leonidas didn't see the pained expression on Sandor's face when he told the prince everything and at the end he gave him a choice.

“Being a Clegane comes with a bad reputation, my prince. I understand if you want to stop our training.” Leonidas frowned at his words. Gregor wasn't training much with him since Gregor had his own keep and lands to maintain. Leonidas’ training with Sandor continued very much.

“No, Sandor.” Leonidas shook his head and stared up at him.

“Your brother’s violence and sins doesn't define you. I would very much like to keep training with you. You are nothing like Gregor.”

“My prince, you think too much of me. I have done things I'm not proud of.”

“I know you killed people.” Sandor becomes quiet.

“My father orders you to kill.” Leonidas added with a sharp tone. “I know if you disobey my father then he will behead you. I don't want to see that. I know my sister and mother wouldn’t want that as well.”

Sandor held his breath at the mention of Joanna and you. “Mother told me that the world was built by killers.”

Sandor nodded at him. “She said I will be a killer as well but when I kill, it needs to be for the right reason. To protect my loved one and the people of this kingdom.”

“I know if you had a choice. You wouldn’t kill just to kill but you would kill to protect. People find the Clegane's brothers terrifying but it’s just really one brother that they should fear.” Sandor let out a small smile at him.

Leonidas had your sense of kindness, Sandor had to admit. Same words you shared with him one night were the same words his own son was telling him now. Sandor and Leonidas continued to train and spend time together. Joffrey was thrilled at the fact that his son was bonding with Sandor. He thought that his son could be the exact replica of The Hound, one of the best fighters and killers of the seven kingdoms.

Very often Joanna and you would be the audience of his training. Sandor was happy that he spent time with his son. He was grateful for you being there along with Joanna. His daughter didn’t seem to mind Sandor. She had always tried to grab his hands and try to hold on his hair when she was just a babe. Leonidas thought it was always funny how his sister, who barely spent time with Sandor, was so excited when she was near him.

Whenever Sandor had the chance to hold his children, it would be hidden in the library. You would keep him updated on their life and their likes. Joanna had grown to sleep in Sandor’s arms and with this it created a bit of a problem because she couldn’t go to sleep, unless it was in the arms of The Hound. As a baby and a young child Joanna would smile at Sandor whenever Joffrey came to visit. Joffrey would think that she would be smiling at him but the truth was she was smiling at the man over Joffrey's shoulder, Sandor.

This treatment also applied to The Mountain, Gregor as well. The servants and the council wonder why the small and innocent princess would give the giant the time of day. Joanna would sit on your hip when you came to watch Leonidas training. She would blabbed while chewing on her fingers until she saw him. She would squeal and wave her hands at Gregor. You bite your tongue to hide the giggling bubbling in your chest. The most dangerous man in Westeros looked uneased. Nervous of a little girl greeting him. Joanna would just fuss and fuss until she got her way. You would greet Gregor and ask for forgiveness since you had disturbed the training. He shakes his head and greets you back with no issue.

Sandor would glare at his brother. His hand on the hilt of his sword, ready to pounce in case his brother hurts Joanna or you.

Joanna grew to be a very poised young lady. She was spoiled endlessly by her grandfather, Tywin. Joffrey wasn’t there for the birth of Joanna. He had been away and during that time you had grown fond of Tywin since he was The Hand of the King. Tywin admitted to you one day during your usual walks throughout the castle. He had offered you his arm to hold on as you waddled with him. You were still pregnant with Joanna. It had been two weeks and Joffrey was still absent.

Asking for a break, both of you settled down on a chair and he had the servant bring you some water. While the servant walked away, Tywin expressed his great deal of affirmation for you. You had held up to be a wonderful queen. It was something he had wished his daughter had become when she was queen. You were well educated and had an idea of running a kingdom. Tywin, like most, knew how Joffrey ran the kingdom. You had proven your intelligence and loyalty to Joffrey. You had gotten far to sit with Tywin during court. Sometimes Tywin had asked you to fill in during courts and dealing with the people of King's Landing.

Tywin never admitted to you that he thought you would be just a breeding cow without a thought behind your pretty eyes but oh, how wrong he was. He saw so much of his wife in you. He had cried the day Joanna was born. You had granted permission for the servant to give the baby to him. Tywin's heart grew at the sight of the babe in his arms.

“Her name is Joanna.” Tywin gave you a nod of gratitude. You had given her the name of his late wife.

Sandor didn't mind whenever Leonidas stood for him when it came with highborns. Like him, Leonidas had his smart tongue. Sandor didn't think much of it until Leonidas received his first slap from his father when he stood up for him. Leonidas grew tired of his father belittling Sandor.

“His name is not Dog.” Leonidas told his father. Leonidas stood in the middle of the council room. Joffrey looked up from the table and started to laugh. He looked over at Sandor who was staring hard at Leonidas.

“I own him. He’s my dog. If I want him to bark he will. If I want him to kill he will. One day he will be your dog.” Joffrey told him as he stood up from his seat and walked towards Leonidas. Sandor grew anxious as he stared at the back of Joffrey’s head. Joffrey didn’t mind that Leonidas was now taller than him, he still gave his son a glare as he looked up at him.

“If I want to have my dog beat you up. He will because he’s my dog and my dog obeys me.” Joffrey said harshly. Sandor felt his eye twitch at Joffrey’s words. Millions of thoughts ran through Sandor’s head. What if Joffrey were to command him to hurt the prince? What would he do? He would die. He would die then hurt his own son.

“He deserves respect unlike you.” Leonidas answered him. Sandor flinched when Joffrey slapped Leonidas across the face.

“Be warned, boy. Next time I will have you punished for disrespecting me. I am the king.”

“Leave me be.” Joffrey yelled at Sandor before flinging the door open and stomping away.

Sandor shut the door and looked over at Leonidas. He walked towards him as Leonidas kept staring at the ground in shock by what just happened. His father had slapped him, it was the first time Joffrey had laid a hand on him. Leonidas was used to his father’s cruel words towards him but this was the first Leonidas had experienced this abuse. He wondered how you managed to deal with it.

“Look at me.” Sandor said as he cupped Leonidas’ face with his large hand. Sandor let out a sigh as he wiped the blood trailing down from Leonidas’ right nostril. His eyes were wide and filled with tears.

“Never do that again. Do you hear me?” Sandor yelled at him as he wiped the blood.

Sandor saw the expression on Leonidas’ face. Sandor dropped his hands and took a deep breath. His fingers ached to get his sword and slam it into Joffrey’s stomach for touching his son. Leonidas looked away from Sandor. Embarrassed that he tried to stand up for Sandor but at the end Sandor just yelled at him like his father did.

Sandor called out Leonidas' name but he didn’t respond. He kept looking at the ground. Sandor felt his heart drop when Leonidas flinched when Sandor tried to get closer to him.

“Look at me.” Sandor told him. Sandor bit the inside of his cheek as Leonidas looked up at him.

“I’m sorry.” Leonidas said softly. “Don’t be angry with me.” Sandor shook his head at Leonidas' plea, wiping his fallen tears with his thumbs.

“I didn’t mean to yell at you, Leo.” Sandor continued to wipe his tears.

Leonidas pitched his brows at the nickname. Joanna and you were the only ones who called him that. Sandor was always formal with him but he was glad that Sandor felt comfortable using it. Leonidas looked up at Sandor rather than his own father. He envisioned Sandor as the hero in all his stories. The underdog who saved the princess. Him and his sister had that in common. Both of them have seen Sandor act with their mother. They saw how gentle the guard of their father was with their mother. Opening doors and lending her his arm whenever she would sit down or stand up. Especially during their walks around the garden. Leonidas and Joanna would run and play in the garden while Sandor stood near you, keeping guard when Joffrey didn't need him. They smiled whenever they heard you laughing and talking with Sandor.

“No more standing up for me, you hear me? I’m an old man, being called a dog is nothing. I have been called at way worse things.”

Leonidas shook his head. “It’s not right. It’s not fair.”

“Life is not fair. You need to understand that right now!” Sandor told him firmly. Sandor looked away from Leonidas' gaze. He looked at him like you did. Leonidas wasn’t afraid to look him straight in the eye.

“I know life isn’t fair.” Leonidas spoke as he walked away from Sandor.

“I know that because my mother, a woman who’s amazing and a good queen, has to suffer with a man like him.” Leonidas told Sandor as he opened the door then left before Sandor could say anything.

Leonidas kept his posture. He held his head up as he walked out of the room. The servants greeted him as he passed by. Leonidas made his way to your chambers. He had knocked and heard one of your servants grant permission to come inside. He saw you sitting up in bed with a cup of tea. He smiled at the sight of you balancing the cup on top of your swollen belly.

“Leo.” You called out to him with a smile as you waved your hand to come closer to you. The servant bowed when you told her to leave and shut the door behind her while Leonidas made his way to you. He sat next to you as you placed the cup by the night stand.

“How are you, my love?” You asked as you rubbed your belly, wincing as you shifted. Leonidas was sitting on the edge of the bed near you. He felt your hand on his arm as you rubbed your stomach with the other.

“I wanted to see how you were doing.” He said, looking away from you. You gave him a smile at his sweet gesture.

“I’m doing well. I’m ready for the babe to get out.” You said eyeing Leonidas in front of you. He kept looking across the room instead of you.

“Look at me.” Leonidas didn’t have to be told twice. He did and you let out a small gasp.

“What happened?” You asked as you saw the right side of your son's cheek, it was red.

“Leonidas, tell me right now.” You ordered when he didn't speak up right away.

Sandor knew Joffrey was going to snap. He had walked with him to a council meeting that was being held without him. The blonde king was vivid at his grandfather, Tywin the hand of the king. Joffrey’s blue eyes widened when his grandfather had told him that he wasn’t needed and there was no need for his presence.

After his son told him, his guard demanded more respect than him and his grandfather told him he wasn’t needed. Joffrey’s anger kept bubbling.

“Any news on the Queen?” Joffrey frowned as Varys questioned Tywin. Sandor’s ears perked at the mention of your name.

“Bed ridden until the child is born.” Tywin had announced.

“People are growing anxious. We will have to delay the court date.” Varys said as he looked through the scrolls on the table.

“There will be no need for that. I will handle the people and their needs.” Joffrey said not even noticing the looks the council gave to each other.

“My king, the people in King's Landing would rather prefer the queen.” Tywin spoke out and held his gaze at his grandson who grew angry at this fact. Varys had shown Joffrey the scrolls of the amount of people asking for you.

“This is not up for discussion.” Tywin added when Joffrey started to make threats to the people who were asking for you. Joffrey was going to answer back when the door opened. Sandor frowned when he noticed you waddling inside as your ladies in waiting followed behind you with worried eyes.

“I need to speak to you alone.” Sandor didn’t miss the look of anger on your face.

Joffrey’s chuckle and shook his head. “This is not the time, woman. I’m busy.”

“Right fucking now.” You yelled loudly causing everyone to tense up since this was the first time you had raised your voice.

Joffrey said as he shook his head. “Whatever you have to say you can say in front of my council.”

Tywin watched as you looked over at the men of the group. The angry look on your face never left as you looked at them. Sandor watched as you sighed while placing a hand on your swollen belly.

“I am going to tell you this once. One time Joffrey.” Everyone stood quiet as you got closer to him.

“I tolerated the person you are. I looked away when you torture your whores. I looked away from your childish behavior and learn to deal with them. I have come to terms with your abuse when it came to me.” Sandor looked down at the ground when you spoke. He shut his eyes tightly when you mentioned the slaps, the names being called, the abuse Joffrey had made you endure. Sandor had cleaned the blood from your nose or cheek when Joffrey had wandering hands.

“But I will not tolerate you hitting my children.” The room was silent as you told Joffrey.

“You will not touch Leonidas. You will not touch Joanna and you will not touch this babe.”

The door opened again and they looked to see Leonidas and Joanna. Both of them were out of breath, like they just ran for miles. The room was getting filled when Joanna and Leonidas’ personal servants came rushing behind them.

Leonidas stood at the entrance as his brows knitted together when he saw his mother and father. Joanna held on his arm tight as she looked worried.

“You think you can tell me what to do -. ” Joffrey didn’t even finish his sentence. Tywin stood up as he saw Joanna was in tears and saw the slight bruise on Leonidas’ cheek. He had walked between Joffrey and you who were in a staring match.

“Everyone out.” Tywin announced as he walked towards Leonidas and Joanna.

“Clegane, walk them back to their room at once.” Sandor moved at once towards them.

“Wait, grandfather. If I can speak to my father.” “No.” Tywin said as he touched Leonidas cheek making him flinch.

“This will end now.” He looked over at Joanna who still held on to her older brother as she watched over at Joffrey who was whispering to you.

Tywin looked over Leonidas who kept staring at you, the fear in his eyes that something would happen. Sandor took a deep breath before walking to the children. The room was empty now.

“Come on.” He touched Leonidas’ shoulder. Tywin turned around when the door was shut.

The children were about to walk away as well as your ladies in waiting. Everyone had left except for them, the ladies had told them not to fret when they saw your children. They all looked towards Sandor who remained by the door. They can hear him breathing heavily as he stares at the door. One hand remained on top of his sword.

One of the servants calls out for The Hound but Sandor just ignores her. His shoulders rose up and down. This wasn't good, the children thought. Joanna and Leonidas looked at each other. Joanna steps forward ignoring the warning from the servant and grabs a hold of Sandor’s free hand. Sandor snaps back into reality. He looked down at Joanna, her brown eyes wide as she stared up at him.

“Grandfather won't hurt mother.” She tells him and Sandor doesn't know what to say, he just nods.

He knew Tywin wouldn't hurt you but it was Joffrey that he was nervous of. Sandor swallowed that fear, it hurt. He was ashamed that he couldn't do more, he couldn't do more for you and the children. He felt less of a man every time he saw a bruise on your body and now the sight of his son’s cheek made him feel ill. Joanna held Sandor’s hand and pulled him away from the door. She didn't let go, Sandor didn't as well. His hand dwarf hers and the servants had a small smile on their faces as they watched them walking with Sandor on either side.

Tywin wished he had done more to help you. Joffrey had agreed to not touch the children. He had swore to it in front of you and Tywin but that meant you weren't safe.

Sandor sat with you in the love seat of the library while you told him what happened after he left. Sweet kisses he gave you, when you began to cry. You didn't cry for your own but for your children. Sandor cried for you as he rubbed your belly. His unborn child in your belly kicked him and in the middle of it. Sandor told you what happened as well with Leonidas. A sad smile appeared on your face, you were proud of him.

Sandor left first, he gave you a kiss before leaning his forehead against yours. He promised to look out for the children but you must promise him to stay in bed until the babe is born. He rubbed your belly before wishing you a good night. You waved at Sandor as he shut the door behind him. You were about to push yourself up to leave after a few moments.

You let out a deep breath when you managed to stand up when you heard footsteps behind you. Your hands covered your belly when you turned around. You let out a gasp when you saw Sandor’s brother. He stood between the bookshelves, he was almost as tall as the shelves. His dark eyes stared hard at you and you took a step back.

“Ser Gregor. How are you?” When he did not answer, you began to worry. You looked around, he seemed to be alone.

“Didn't know you were a fan of books. Are you liking the library?” He begins to walk closer to the love seat.

“Never liked books.” He told you as he dropped his sword on the love seat. Showing you that his hands were empty. He held no weapons.

“Sandor was the reader of the family. He liked his books. I see, that hasn't changed.” Gregor walks around the love seat to stand a few feet away from you. His face was hard to read, his eyes just kept looking at your face then at your stomach. You felt petrified. Would you share the same fate as the poor women that Gregor caught? He couldn't though, you were the queen but Gregor is unpredictable.

“He even found someone to read books with.” Your stomach dropped in fear.

“How long were you hiding?” You asked him softly and you were surprised when he answered right away.

“The moment I saw you giving my brother the sign.” Gregor raised his hand up to his chin and scratched it. You couldn't believe he figured it out. Sandor and you were so careful to not be followed. He's been watching both of you for a while.

“What is it that you want from him?” He asks and you frown at his question.

“He's a second born son. He has no land and no money. He's the dog of the king.” You cut him off before he can say another word.

“He is not a dog!” You hiss at Gregor who raised a brow at you “The queen thinks much of the dog.”

You frown at his words. “I love him. I love your brother.” Gregor’s face fell. You held your head high and repeated it to him one more time.

“Then the children?” He knew the answer but he wanted to hear it from you. He knew Sandor would never tell him. You nod at him and look down at your belly.

“All three of them are his. They are your family. The princess is your niece and the prince is your nephew.”

“They will hang you for this. Hang them all including my brother,” Gregor says.

“They won't unless you keep your mouth shut. I know you hate Sandor but you can't hate Leonidas or Joanna”

“Who says I hate Sandor?” You let out a huff at that question and walked to the nearby desk. It was close to the door, you needed to be close to the door in case something happened.

“You burned his face, you pushed him to the coal.” Gregor shook his head. “His bed caught on fire.”

“LIES!” You shouted at him and Gregor’s jaw clenched. “You may have fooled everyone but not me. I believe him.”

Gregor takes a deep breath and it reminds you of a bull. You're frightened but you wouldn't show it. After today’s events, you have had enough of men like Joffrey and Gregor who use and abuse their power.

“Tell me, Ser Gregor. What do you want? What's the price for your silence?” Gregor took a minute to answer. His dark eyes stared down at you, almost trying to intimidate you but it didn't work. You stared right back at him with no fear.

“I want to know..” Gregor stopped in mid sentence and swallowed hard.

“Has Joffrey hurt the children before?” His question confused you. Why was he asking this, you wondered. Sandor has told you that his brother is incapable of feeling. His heart was cold and no love could come from him. All he cared about was killing.

“He has slapped Leonidas.” Gregor frowned deeply. His jaw clenched and his eyes hardened by your words.

“And the girl?” He growled. You shook your head at him. “We have come to a deal. He won't hurt my children. None of them.”

“Exchange for what?” You lower your eyes to the ground.

“I’ll be the one receiving the abuse.” Gregor hums and clears his throat.

“Nothing new.” You look up at him. “He's been doing it already. I have seen the bruising.”

“You're quite the observer, Ser Gregor.” You admit to him.

“Why let him abuse you more for the sake of them?” He asks.

“Because they are my children. They are mine and Sandor’s. I will protect them until my last dying breath and that includes Sandor.” Gregory’s eyes turned into slit at the mention of his brother.

You let out a sigh of relief when the tall man sat down on the loveseat. His elbows rested on top of his knees and he rubbed his hands together. You rubbed your stomach trying to ease your unborn child who was kicking like crazy.

“Does the girl have a knight protecting her?” He asks you.

“No, she doesn’t. She’s always surrounded by her maids and septon.” You answered him and looked at him carefully. He was asking about Joanna. Why?

“I want to guard her.” You shook your head.

“Ser Gregor, I know you are strong and well taught in fighting but your reputation is alarming. You rape and kill woman. Your temper worries me.” He looks away from you. You can’t understand why he’s asking for this. What does he want from Joanna? All the Gods will have to restrain you this moment because you were going to lash out. Why would his man want to guard your daughter, his niece.

“She looks like my sister.” The eldest Clegane brother said.

“Her smile and her hair.” His voice was soft as he continued to speak about her. Sandor mentioned before that her name was Ellie. That was the only thing he knew about her.

“I lost my temper one day.” He shook his head.

“Choked her, it was only for a few seconds but I was much stronger. Stronger than most. All it took was a few seconds. Broke her neck.” Gregor said as he looked across the room at you. He can still recall Ellie's face after he had choked her. Her eyes popped out and her face was red from the lack of oxygen.

“I saw the boy and the girl crying. Then I saw his face, his cheek. I couldn't protect the boy but let me protect her.” You wanted to believe him but you couldn't not after all the horrid things he had done. Not after all the blood he had shed.

“You think by protecting her, everything will be forgiven? The crimes you had committed and the rapes you had done. One day you will lose your temper with her. What would people think when they see The Mountain guarding the princess?” Gregor stood up from the seat and walked towards you. You took a step back and realized your back was against the door.

“I loved my sister.” His voice was strained. “She was the only good thing from my wretched family. Sandor does not remember but mother didn't give a shit about us and father was a drunk who liked to hit. Mother tried to sell Sandor when he was a babe.” Your face fell at his confession.

“I killed her when she came back, she wouldn't shut up about not selling him. Then I killed my father when he told me he wanted to sell Ellie for drinking money. Wanted to sell her to the highest bidder.”

No tears fell but his eyes were glossy. “There was no hunting accident. He simply fell on top of my sword.”

You let out a whimper when he stood in front of you. You were so close to him, you could smell the metal on his armor. You can smell the wine from his breath and he raised his large paw. You thought he was going to hurt you but he placed it on top of your stomach. Your unborn baby seemed to know who it was, your child felt the warmth on their uncle and kicked.

He lets out a small gasp and looks at you with wide eyes. With shaky hands you covered his hands with your own. The baby kicked again.

“Was that..” You nod at him and he starts to rub your belly. “Mother never let me touch her stomach. I wanted to when she was with Sandor.”

His words broke something inside of you. What if Gregor had a good family? A father and mother who cared, would he still be evil and murderous? His eyes remained on your stomach, you moved his hands back and forward around your stomach. A certain kick had you wincing loudly and he quickly removed his hand from your gasp.

“You alright?” He asked and you nod, biting your bottom lip. You were supposed to be bedridden until your pregnancy came to an end.

“Yes.” You answered him and leaned back on the wall, hoping to find some kind of comfort.

“Your brother’s children are always relentless at the end. Kicking their mother left and right at the end of the pregnancy.” You looked up at Gregor.

“Mother said the same thing.” He said softly. “Kicking to get out.”

You took a deep breath before asking him something that could change Joanna’s life.

“Are you truly serious about taking care of my daughter? She is everything to me, Ser Gregor. Sandor and Tywin adore her. If I accept your proposal and you lose your temper or something happens to her..”

“Then you behead me.” He cuts you off, surprising you.

“If I fail, then I accept death. I harmed my siblings, that I regret but I won’t harm my niece and nephew. That you have my word. Since I’ll be with Joanna, she’s mostly with Leonidas. I’ll keep my eye on him. I fear his tongue will get him into trouble with Joffrey again.”

You nod at him. “Sandor, won’t like this at all.”

“It wouldn’t matter unless Joffrey believes it’s his idea.” Gregor declared.

<-- Chapter One

[kurtsvonneslut]

Wait... what was the swanqueen fic recs? ...and are there more (...esp if theyre smutty) 👀👀👀

oh there are more!!!

first of all i'm just going to plug myself because why not. i have 78 swan queen works up - mostly oneshots, a couple longfics, including the fic i'm currently writing, change with the seasons. a lot of my fics are older (for example my 52 weeks of swan queen series was written in 2015) and i was a teenager when i wrote them, but i still find a lot of joy in them!!

now for the rest of the recs, i'm going to organize them as best i can into a few categories. also, a lot of these recs will be a bit older as i've been away from the fandom for a while, and am only just now coming back again. this is an open question if anyone else has recommendations to add in the reblogs!!!

longfics:

satin town by @coalitiongirl is probably my all time favorite fanfic, period. everything she's written for the fandom is incredible, but this one has always stuck with me. the dynamic between emma and regina (who is in full on evil queen mode) is just DELICIOUS and i love how she worked henry into the story. an absolute must as far as i'm concerned. PLUS she has a whole NOVEL out now, so go support that if you like the fic!!!!

the secret's in the telling by @the-pyrophoric-one is another classic in the fandom, and for good reason. the characterization is so spot on, and i absolutely love the arc of this story. the chapters are suuuuuper long though so it's a time investment!!

somewhere, someone must know the ending by maleficently who is not on tumblr as far as i'm aware is a divorce au. lots of angst with a happy ending. the same author also wrote an incredible three-part series called the fatal plunge, which remains, tragically, unfinished.

you gotta play dirty by amycarey who i'm not tagging because they don't write fic anymore. there's so many fics by amycarey that i absolutely adore (temporary distractions and keep the wolves outside by living well are also up there!!) but i chose this one because it's so unique to me. it's an au in which emma and regina are in a concert band together. i was a band kid myself, specifically a clarinetist, so i was pretty geeked over this!!

all that glitters is not (olypmic) gold by @queststar is another super niche but super fun and well-written au. in this one, emma and regina are olympic speed skaters. i just love the competitive energy between the two of them and the arc as they grow closer and eventually fall for each other. the author even got elizabeth mitchell to read some of it which is just. next level.

one fine star away by @bytherosebushlaughing is another au that gets a little meta, but it's sooooo much fun. in this fic, once upon a time is a tv show that regina, emma, and the others starred in. 20 some years later, the cast is reuniting, and the reunion is being covered by none other than one henry mills. it's such a clever fic, and i absolutely love it so far!!

oneshots:

of love and loss and love again by @snowivyimconfusi oh this one. this one is so bittersweet. emma and regina, grieving the losses of their partners, find comfort in each other. and more. it's so beautifully done, and i just adore ivy's writing style!!

what you thought you had to do by hoovahhoopah is the very first fic i read after making my ao3 account and it's still one that i love!! it's part of a six part series of oneshots called ill fitting pieces, but it also stands on its own just as well. just a beautiful, classic, canon-but-make-it-better kind of fic.

a woman moves when her heart has been broken by etotheswan because who among us wasn't absolutely destroyed by the season 3 finale???? this offered a lot of swan queen based catharsis while we waited for season 4.

monster-in-law by seriousfic is just a funny, light-hearted little oneshot about mary margaret trying to stop emma and regina's wedding by reminding them that they're all sort of related. a big departure from the seriousfic work we all know and miss dearly..... but enjoyable nonetheless thanks to their talent!!

and now, the moment we've all been waiting for, smut:

top of the list is, of course, our prophet of swan queen smut @angstbotfic. the making amends series is my all time favorite, and one that i recommended to my dear friend 27, but you can't go wrong with literally anything they've written.

wicked games by @starsthatburn is so. is so. it left me basically speechless. also recommended this one to 27, and i believe this is the one referenced in the ask they sent. it's the most insanely hot BDSM fantasy. if you like domme regina, look no further.

the thing she won't admit by beattheodds if you like butt stuff, here's swan queen butt stuff. need i say more?

paint it black by wily_one24 heed the warnings, this one is pretty dark. but if that's what you're into, this is the one. it's like if 50 shades of grey was swan queen and also good.

of love and loathing by morganlegaye and its sequel, transgressions of the heart are a hatefuck lover's dream. transgressions of the heart remains unfinished, but god is it good.

fealty by standbackufools you like throne sex? you like honorifics? you like D/s dynamic? enjoy :)

thank god it's BDSM friday by carrotlucky13 this one covers soooooo many kinks. emma and regina enter into a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle. for 95k words. i don't know what else to say but WOWOWOWOW. even if you're not into every kink in here it's still hot af.

emma's little problem by juicecup it's a magic!cock story with a slight humiliation kink if you squint, but otherwise mostly vanilla sex to round out a very kinky rec list.

go give these incredible creators some love!!! and remember, nothing motivates a fic writer quite like a nice comment :)

[deepfivetraveller]

King Baldwin x Time!Traveler!reader

chapter 1

Chapter 2 here

Okay I’m a little new to writing romance so please take it easy on me. Btw I’ll try to keep y/n as neutral as possible but since this is set in the ancient era and religion is very important, y/n shall be hinted as being Hindu since that’s the only one that seems neutral in this situation.

“Alright that's all for the lesson. And since its complete I expect all of you to be thorough with ‘Life of King Baldwin iv’ during this weekend since there will be a test on this very topic next wednesday. Have a great weekend by the way.” The professor stands up and closes his laptop and all the other students start packing up.

“He had a pretty hard life didn’t he?” One of your friends chimes in. You look at her unsurprised. “You mean king Baldwins?”

“Duh! Poor man suffered an incurable disease almost his entire life! Imagine having skin infested in bacteria, euggh!” She recoils in disgust. “Imagine the cure to that disease being bacteria itself! Pretty sure Leprosy can be cured using multi antibiotic therapy.” Another friend joins in the conversation. You finished packing up your bag so you get up. “But no matter what, you gotta respect him. He never used his illness as an excuse to be a bad king.”

“That’s true….” Your first friend agrees. “He’s tough. When I catch a normal cold I give up all of my responsibilities since I’m sick. Wonder how hard it must have been for him.” All of you exit the classroom. A few minutes go by and topics have changed. A fun conversation lasted for a while before it was time to go, so you three parted ways.

As you entered your home your first thought was to take a cold shower after a long, hot and sweaty day. While eagerly hopping into the shower you get reminded of the conversation you had with your friends a while ago. What did king Baldwin even look like? There were no images in your textbook. Curiosity got the best of you, making you draw back the shower curtains to leave. You wrapped a towel and went towards the table where you kept your mobile, typed a quick ‘King Baldwin the 4th images’ and hit enter. Two images popped up. One being an actual painting from the 12th century while the other being an image reconstructed by scientists which looked…realistic to say the least.

His face in the second photo was majestic. His mouth and nose were almost non-existent, having only two triangular shaped holes instead of a nose. His skin was dry, withered and stretched while having the hue of a dry leaf during autumn. Even though he was severely disfigured his eyes were pure and bright, having a child like innocence towards them. King Baldwin was…Quite handsome.

Okay that’s enough now snap out of it! It’s probably just some AI prompt message image anyway. If anyone found out you found him handsome they’d call you crazy. Plus now is not the time to fangirl over a dead king, now's the time to study. In an attempt to distract yourself you pick up your books to do work. Hours painfully go by as you study but finally, finally it was bedtime. You could care less about eating dinner or even taking a shower, you plop yourself onto your bed and wrap the soft blanket around your body. Thoughts about King Baldwin strike your mind again. Seriously, what's wrong with you?! Why is this man plaguing your thoughts all day?

A sigh escaped your mouth from irritation. If only it was possible to console him for his losses or better yet, cure him entirely. The world would have been a better place if he had the lifespan of a normal man.

But there is no point thinking about this, time to go to bed now. As you try to go to sleep your body keeps doing the fake fall thing, annoying you to the core. And finally when your bodys heartbeat was steady and your breathing was quiet, your body did that fake fall thing again but this time it was actually a real fall.

Eyes widen as you try to grab onto the air to prevent your fall but of course, you fail. Adrenaline rushes through your veins for that split second before you finally make an impact on the cobblestone path?

Owch! That fall really hurt, especially at the back of your shoulders! You hope it’s not bruised there. But after that reality check, you look around only to find yourself in some village?

You can see a few small huts and buildings beyond the grassy field. Where are you? How are you here? Why are you here? Too confused and dazed from the fall, you try to look around for people for help. That is until a holographic screen with text pops up.

Congratulations Ms. Y/n. Your wish to cure King Baldwin has been approved by the ₦ł₥฿Ʉ₴฿₳Ʉ₦Ʉ₴. You are now at Jerusalem, Year: 1181.

“What?”

Yes it’s true Ms.Y/n, you really are in the 12th century.

Your blood is now boiling in anger. “Just because….Someone wishes pity over a dead king DOES NOT ACTUALLY MEAN THEY WANT TO CURE HIM!” You try to grab onto the screen to shake it vigorously but your hands go right thru.

Now now, let’s calm down and try to get over with this together I’m sure we’ll find a solution.

“Calm down…CALM DOWN?!?!?!? I’m in the middle of nowhere in Jerusalem during the 12th century and you want me to CALM DOWN???? I don’t even know French and not to mention I’M NOT CHRISTIAN!” You were screaming with your hand in the air. Pretty sure you woke someone up.

Y-Yes but that’s why I’m here. Don’t worry about communication, the language module for french had been uploaded into your brain while you fell here.

The screen flickers a little, maybe due to fear.

Uploaded knowledge? “But I’m a woman from the 21st century! I can’t live here! I’m wayy to accustomed to the privileges of my time!”

That’s one of my perks miss! By using currency of this time you may purchase products of your time thru me! The screen changes to an online store. For now you have access to basic necessities like food and clothes. As you complete missions you shall unlock other parts of the online market! The screens display brightness increases due to enthusiasm, convinced it has impressed you.

You however look at it in exasperated shock. “How is this even possible?” You say with dread in your voice. “Who sent me here?” You ask, no, demand.

Like I said You’ve been sent here by ₦ł₥฿Ʉ₴฿₳Ʉ₦Ʉ₴. I’m pretty sure you can’t read that since mortals don’t have the capacity to….

Mortals? Is this the play of some higher being? God even? Too many questions float through your head, making you visibly tired. You can feel the bottom of the skin beneath your eyes folding, an indicator you’re developing dark circles.

Ah. It looks like you’re tired. It’s night anyway. You should sleep.

“But where do I-”

“Excuse me madam.” You turn around to see a man standing behind you. “I’ve noticed you’ve been talking to yourself.”

So he can’t see the screen. From his ragged outfit he seems to be a commoner. He also genuinely seems worried so you guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask for help.

“Yes, sorry for that.” You say embarrassingly while you get up. “You see I’m from the family of wandering traders, here to sell spices from my land. I was talking to myself since I was quite irritated at how I didn’t have an inn for the night.” The explanation seems responsible enough I guess.

“But I don’t see any goods with you… And how did a young lady such as yourself travel alone? Where is your husband?”

Crap. He’s doubting you. You need to give him a reasonable explanation fast or he’ll call you a witch or something.

“Oh no sir you’re mistaken! My father is the one who has the spices, it’s his business after all. We had to split ways during travel due to inconveniences, I’m merely here to help him!” You put on your best smile to convince him.

“O-Oh I’m sorry madame! H-Here let me lead you, I know an Inn nearby.” Good. Looks like he believes you. But now it’s your turn.

“I’m sorry sir but how can I trust you?” You step back a little. “What if you take advantage of me? How shall I testify my innocence? The locals would definitely believe you over me.”

“No no please don’t! I’m a married man. My wife’s right there.” he points at the lady standing just outside the house, looking worried. You look at her and she nods her head in reassurance. “You seem like a noble from your land madame judging from your colorful dress, why don’t the both of us show you where the inn is?”

Hmm….Guess colorful clothing is rare here. And he really does seem like he wants to help.

“Very well then. Both of you show me they way.” The man eagerly tells his wife the incident and both of them show you around. The screen follows you, showing you a winking emoticon.

Congrats Ms. Y/n! You have officially begun your first mission!

[house-of-lovin]

legally binded - 4

Jenna Ortega x F!Reader

masterlist | series mast. | prev part | next part

Chapter 4: Family Bonding, Festivals and Feelings?

Summary: After getting caught in some hot waters with the press, you are forced into an unexpected agreement with America's sweetheart, Jenna Ortega to save your career.

Warnings/Tags: dual!pov, famous!reader, mentions of hard substances, intoxication, mature language, real people (do not read if any of these makes you uncomfortable)

(this is all fiction!)

Note: Things are gearing up 😮‍💨 (ik i said i was gonna take a break, but i couldn’t help myself, now ill take a break lol, happy readin!)

Word Count: 6k+

“No one’s going to get cancelled — it’ll be fun.” Colin Jost smiles curtly on your flat screen TV.

You sit on the bed with a spoon hanging from your lips, an eye on the bright screen having just finished watching a rerun of Jenna’s SNL episode. You made sure to buy it as soon as it was available; locking yourself away in your room.

Currently, you are watching this week’s episode of SNL and Colin and Che are giving their weekly news update.

“Las Vegas is opening up a pop-up vaccine site in a strip club and don’t worry the strippers say the vaccine comes with singer and actress Y/N L/N. This time she’ll be the designated driver – I heard she’s on a tight leash.”

Your smile instantly drops.

“Speaking of Y/N,” Colin bounces off, reading off the cue cards. “Did you see her last week sitting in the audience during Jenna Ortega’s episode… hey, I wonder if they’re a real thing.”

Colin and Che share a knowing glance, “Nah.” They say in unison then move on to their next bit.

Scowling, you turn the TV off, practically throwing your bowl of cereal on the side table. 

You supposed you can’t be too mad – all too familiar with the snide jabs and harmless jokes from others in the industry. This is what you signed up for, right?

Whatever, you’re sure people are loving it.

It’s been a whole week since you left New York and you haven’t spoken to Jenna. It seems how you two acted back in the Big Apple was a success because it got your managers to back off, for now. You didn’t see a reason to contact the actress so you let the silence pass — you see when she posts on social media. 

You don’t have time to think about it because Coachella weekend is coming up soon. For the first time since Vegas, you will be working and you have been itching – wanting nothing more than to dive head-first into work mode. 

It’s what you do best.

You are invited to do a guest performance on a big producer’s set for the festival. It would be your first ever time performing at Coachella but you were privy to the culture of the festival, having gone as an audience member to support your musician friends.

“Hey, you got a minute?” Link pops his head in your door, holding a phone up.

–

“Please don’t do this.” Your pleas go underheard.

“I don’t know why you keep trying, the answer is the same Y/N.” Link rolled his eyes, pointing to a house.

“I think this is the one.”

You scan the two-story typical American home tucked away in the boroughs of suburbia up in the desert, otherwise known as Coachella Valley.

Or well, Jenna’s parent’s house at least. 

After Link had dropped the most terrible news; you had to be seen with Jenna in Coachella. Liv and Jake had instructed your team to drive you to stay with Jenna as you prepare for the festival – it was convenient they said.

Convenient my ass.

“Relax... Marcus will be back to pick you up, he’s gonna drop off your bags at the rental house.”

“Why can’t I just go with you then?” You ask.

“Liv said to drive you to this address. Jenna gave explicit directions to drive you here.”

You frown pulling on a loose thread on your sweater.

What could Jenna possibly want that she’d want you here? She looked pretty upset at you, the last time you talked.

You really don’t have it in you to fight with her, again, especially after the long drive from L.A. up to the desert where you thought — you’d be staying in your villa for Coachella weekend.

“Now go see the girl, please.” Link reaches over to open the door.

When you step out, the car is already driving speedily down the street not even giving you a chance to change your mind. You hear a flurry of voices from the side of the house but it sounds far away. Toy cars and trollies litter the grass yard. 

Slowly, you walked up her porch, your shoes scraped as you ascend the concrete steps. Hesitating for a brief moment, you realize: Jenna is inside. Well duh.  But the thought of her on the other side of the door has your heart dropping out of nowhere. You see flashes in your memory of her frown as you explain why you have to leave New York so soon.

Unspoken words as she says ‘well I thought–’

What did she think?

You would probably never know.

The door opens with a creak breaking you out of your thoughts.

“We have to stop meeting like this.” Aliyah leans against the doorframe, smiling.

You laughed, “Yeah, we do.”

She doesn’t say anything else and just yells over her shoulder, “Jenna, she’s here.”

Then walked off. 

“Hi…” Jenna appears, leaning on the doorframe with a hand.

She scans you for a brief moment; not having seen you since New York, a week ago. She had to make sure you’re still alive because she hasn’t heard from you since then.

You also practically ghosted her.

After feeling guilty about how she left things with you, Jenna sent you a text the next day, asking if you made it back to Los Angeles safely.

You liked her message with a thumbs up.

A thumbs up! Not responding would have been better, the actress bitterly thought.

“Hey.” You greet. “How are you?”

“Fine. You?” She answered quickly, smile sealed tight like an envelope.

“I’m… good. Yeah. Just working.” You answer honestly.

“Oh really?” Jenna asked.

“Yeah, something for Coachella actually.”

Jenna raised her brows in surprise. “Like what?”

You send a tight-lipped smile, “It’s a surprise. People don’t know I’m here yet.”

Jenna can’t fight her excitement; giddy about being in on a secret. But then she remembers that she’s supposed to be annoyed at you and not fascinated.

“Why haven’t you texted me?” Jenna sighed, her voice dropping to a lowly whisper, in case someone was walking by.

You raised your brows, surprised by her question. “Oh… um. I’ve been busy like I said, just working, trying to keep my head down and all that.”

“Are you sure that’s it?” She asked accusingly.

You missed her tone and shrugged, reassuring her, “Yeah. Of course.”

“But, I heard you were busy this week too, filming another movie with Barry Keoghan and The Weeknd?” You changed the subject, hoping to talk about something else. She takes the bait after scanning your eyes for a second.

“Yeah, it was just a short role. But it was a lot of fun. Abel actually talked about you.”

“That’s great, I’m happy for you Jen… and yeah he’s an old friend.”

“Sung your praises pretty high, I had to make sure he was talking about the right person.”

You chuckle, “Oh okay, I see how it is.”

Your laugh caused a sudden warmness to manifest in Jenna and she couldn't help but join along. “Come on, my family has been dying to see you again.”

“Really?” You asked, stepping inside her childhood home. “So you think I made a good impression?”

She turned to look back at you, surprised that you care. “Maybe… don’t let it get to your head, though.”

You laughed as you followed her through the house. “Is that jealousy I hear Ortega? Scared you won't be the only movie star around?”

She snorted, rolling her eyes. “Shut up. You’re an idiot.”

“An idiot that may have impressed your family?” You cocked your head and grinned wide.

“Yeah, yeah. Like, I said. Don’t let it get to your head. They could care less about celebrities and Hollywood. They’re pretty grounded.”

You shrugged, looking at the various family pictures hanging on the wall. “It’s fine. There’s only one Ortega I want to impress anyway.”

You’re not sure where that came from and it seemed Jenna shared the same thought because she raised her brows at you – but didn’t comment.

Jenna blocks you from walking when you reached the sliding glass door. “What?”

Jenna chewed her lip anxiously, “My family can be a lot. In numbers and in the other sense too. There’s a lot of us.”

“Oh… that’s okay.” You answered. A bit confused as to why she is telling you this. When you see her genuine concern your gaze softens. “Jenna, relax. I can handle the family… and I can charm anyone’s socks off.”

She relented, rolling her eyes at your joke. “Okay, okay.”

"Wait..."

Jenna turns around.

"Why am I here exactly? At your parents, that is. Link told me that you gave my driver instructions to bring me here."

Jenna bites her lip in contemplation. "Um—like I said my family wanted to see you again and I heard you were going to Coachella anyway so you know, two birds one stone."

You nod, accepting her answer.

Jenna opens the door for you two to step out.

–

Sounds of laughter rang around as you and Jenna sat in lawn chairs in her parent’s backyard.

“What are Timothee Chalamet and Zendaya like in real life?” Markus – Jenna’s brother leaned forward to ask. 

“Markus!” Jenna scolded and threw her brother a glare.

The actress blushed as she sat beside you but all she felt was the vibrations of your laughter, indulging her brother’s question. 

Jenna can’t help but wonder if you have other family members that spend time with you like this. You look so carefree and genuinely happy; comfortable around her family — after knowing you for a couple months now; she guesses it’s a no.

“They’re cool. Just like everyone else to be honest. Especially, Timothee, sweet guy but he’s a bit of a typical frat bro.” You joked, “And Zendaya, well. She’s just as amazing as everyone says she is. Great work ethic, it’s inspiring when you work with someone passionate like that – makes you want to be better and work harder.”

Jenna’s sisters are eating your story up. Secretly she knew they enjoyed the tales of celebrities and pop culture. It’s nearly impossible to live your life without seeing a public figure pop up on an ad on your phone or on the side of a bus stop on your drive home. 

Jenna is barely home enough to be able to have moments like this where she can humour her sister's questions. But they all had their own lives to live. She's has been looking forward to this break for a while, knowing it was coming up after her long week in New York.

She still can’t describe New York.

Something seems to have shifted between you two by the end of the week. But she didn’t know if it was for the better. The two of you have this constant push and pull; where everything is fine one moment, then one of you says something and it turns tense and weird as you both stay silent or you just completely blow up on each other.

Jenna didn’t know if she had it in her to try to decipher what these restrained responses she gets from you could possibly mean.

You are an enigma; a defensive, hot-headed asshole that grinded every gear the actress had.

“Do you like Zendaya, buddy?” You bounced her niece in your lap, enjoying how the baby grabbed at your fingers. 

But then Jenna turns around and you act like this. Sweet, protective, charming. 

How are you the same person?

She can’t fight her smile as she watched the adorable sight.

Jenna didn’t know you were good with babies. 

“I think Z would think you’re just the most adorable thing. Oh my god, Jen, can I send her a picture of us?” You turned to her, with a bright smile.

Jenna didn’t know when you started calling her by her nickname but she certainly won’t say how she enjoys how it sounds when you say it. “Uh–sure, if it’s okay with my sister.”

“Zendaya’s gonna have a picture of my baby on her phone? Uh yes!”

Jenna laughed, nodding. “I’ll take the picture.” She took your phone, opening the camera.

“What are you doing? Get in here with us." You asked with an adorable scrunch in the nose, surprising Jenna.

“Oh, I just thought— okay.” She swallows her growing grin, sliding in beside you.

Her sisters share knowing glances.

You happily scooted in, pressing your chest to her back.

Jenna is suddenly reminded of her you and her, alone in her dressing room.

She presses back into you. 

“Say, cheese guys!” Jenna clears her throat.

With big bright smiles, you placed your head above her shoulder to get in the frame, repeating, “Cheese!”

Even her niece seemed to be enjoying the attention as she smiled brightly and toothless while standing on your lap with her chubby legs. Jenna snapped a couple for good measure, checking over the pictures. The three of you are squished together as she held it in portrait; you all looked cute Jenna can admit. 

Like a little family.

What?

“Oh Jenna, send me that, please. I want to post it on my Instagram.” Her mom spoke up already reaching for her phone. 

“Okay, okay.” Jenna rolled her eyes but sent herself the pictures first before airdropping them to – everyone – who begged for it. 

“This is adorable, I think I’m gonna make this my lock screen.” You grinned, staring at the photo. She sees you typing a message, indeed sending it to the actress like you said you would. “Just for your niece.”

Jenna felt her heart skip a beat. “Are you saying you’re gonna crop me out the photo?”

“No… but now that’s a good idea, thanks.” You mocked with a smile.

“Mom, how did you already post that picture so fast?” Mia asked.

–

“Don’t be mad.” Jenna begged.

“Mad? Jenna. This isn’t what I signed up for.” You pinched the bridge of your nose.

The two of you were standing in her driveway, in a discord of course. Jenna just forced you into another situation that you wanted no part of.

“You just told Link to call off my driver and now you’re saying don’t be mad. Of course, I’m mad! Why did you say yes to your Mom, Jenna.” You sighed, dropping your hand limply.

“I didn’t know she’d insist.” She groaned walking closer, “She said that you shouldn’t stay in that big house by yourself for the weekend when there is room here, next thing I know she’s forcing me to ask you in front of everybody.”

"I'm sorry." She grabs your arm. “Link said you might be mad.”

You stare at her for a couple of moments. Their hearts are in the right place, you guessed. Eventually, you rolled your eyes and sighed. “Thank you I guess… I appreciate that the sentiment.”

Jenna smiled in relief, “Yeah, of course.” Then scrunched her nose in thought.  “We actually really don’t have the room so I don’t know where she’ll put you.”

She should have known. This is so typical and cliche; sharing a bed trope? Please, can the universe be any more unoriginal? 

“Mom, are you sure?” Jenna whispered as she peaked her head out the small awning of the door – making sure you can’t hear. 

“Jen, go to sleep. We have a packed day tomorrow. Everyone’s coming over for the game.”

Tomorrow is sports night and her uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents are set to come over. It was a weekly tradition for the extended family to host a gathering to watch the game every Friday; with Jenna’s busy schedule, she hasn’t been to one in months. She’s grateful this one is hosted at her house but then inwardly sighed because she should probably warn you about that too.

“Mom…” She pleaded in a whisper.

“Goodnight and be responsible. I trust you two.”

“Mom!”

Jenna dropped her head in defeat as she listened to her Mom’s footsteps dwindle further away. 

“Hey, you should probably get in there before all the hot water runs out..”

She turns, seeing your freshly showered figure. For a moment, Jenna finds herself stuck. You’re rubbing a towel on your wet hair as grey sweats hung lowly on your hips and she was desperately trying to avert her eyes from the small patch of you skin exposed.

“I already showered.”

“Oh okay.” You shrugged walking over to grab your phone. 

“Which side do you prefer?” You asked absentmindedly,

“What?” Jenna blinks away.

“Of the bed. Which side do you prefer?” 

“Oh. The left.”

“Thank god. Every bed I’ve had to share I’ve had to fight for the right side. You’re perfect.” 

Jenna watched as you jump into your preferred side, getting comfortable under her covers.

She doesn’t know why she feels a mismatched thump fall out of rhythm with her heartbeat at seeing you in her bed. 

“Alright, are you gonna be weird about sharing a bed? ‘Cause I can just take the couch or call my driver to pick me up. I can get a hotel room or something.” You sighed sitting up. 

Jenna furrowed her brows, “What no. Can you please stop jumping to conclusions?”

“I’m not.” You mumbled but don’t argue further. Jenna gets in beside you. 

“You satisfied now?” She throws out but it sounds just shy of playful and maybe even flirtatious – definitely not how she meant for it to sound.

“Uh– sure.” You replied sliding the blanket up to your chin as you tried to get comfortable again.

There’s that weird tension again, Jenna thinks and she thinks it’s starting to annoy her.

“Okay, what’s your deal?” Jenna crossed her arms, turning to you.

You blinked, confused. “What?”

“Why are you being so weird?”

“I’m not.” You sat up to face the other actress.

Jenna frowned, “Yes you are. You have been since New York. Did I do something? Because you still haven’t told me why you just left town like that.”

“I told you. Jake wanted me back for Coachella. Why else would I have just left all of a sudden?” You explained.

“I just– I just feel like you’re not telling me something.” She admits, a bit insecure. “I, at least, thought we’re friends now and when I didn’t see you in the crowd or the dressing room after SNL I was a bit… disappointed? I don't know if it’s dumb but you really did calm me down before my monologue and I wanted to thank you over dinner. But, yeah–” 

Jenna looks away, missing your guilty frown. “Jenna… it’s not dumb. God, I feel like an asshole.”

“Well, sometimes you can be.”

You laugh but it’s dry. “I’m so sorry. I–I should have been there.”

You grab her hands. “Look at me, please.” It gets her to look up, the light from the lamp is bouncing off your eyes making them look softer in the dim light. “I promise, I’ll always be there for the important moments from now on. Before, during and after – we are stuck together until the foreseeable future, so.”

Jenna snorts, looking down at your hands. You begin to rub lines with your fingers on her open palm making her shiver. “Yeah, I guess we are.” She whispers.

She doesn’t know when she makes the bold move to intertwine your fingers. But for the first time since SNL, you two hold hands and this time you don’t pull away. But she doesn’t miss the questioning glint in your eyes as you look down. Jenna ignores the attention and squeezes your hand to make you look at her again.

“You mean it though?”

Your eyes soften. “I mean it.”

–

“Where’s Y/N?” Mia asked over the breakfast table.

“Rehearsals,” Jenna mumbled sleepily shoving spoonfuls of food in her dry mouth – still trying to wake up.

When the actress had awakened, the sun was high above the horizon and the desert heat was already inching inside her cracked window. But she woke up, alone.

Differing from how she went to sleep the previous night with you barely pressed up beside her as you laid with your backs to each other. Jenna only found herself un-tensing after hearing your breathing fall into short even exhales.

When she turned over to grab her phone this morning, you had sent a text:

Sorry for not waking you up. You sleep like a rock but I had to go to rehearsals. I’ll be back by 3 :)

She couldn’t be too annoyed at the smiley face you leave with your occasional messages.

“She’s performing?” Mia asks shocked.

Jenna nods, too tired for words.

“The crowd is gonna lose their minds.” Aliyah laughs. “With who?”

“Won’t say.” Jenna muttered bitterly, thinking back to her incessant begging; you never caved.

“Okay… can we talk about it, now then?”

“Talk about what Mia,” Jenna sighs dropping her fork on her plate.

“You and Y/N.” She says like it’s obvious.

“There is no me and Y/N, it’s all for the cameras. Remember the NDA I had to beg you guys to sign?” The actress rolls her eyes. 

“Then why were you so upset after New York?” She challenges; tired of her sister’s silence over this whole situation. There’s no way she’s just unaffected by this.

“Mia drop it.” Her mom says.

“No. I’m serious, she’s literally staying under our roof, sharing a room with Jenna. And no one is still saying anything? Am I the only one who thinks there’s something going on?”

“Yes.” Jenna says quickly.

Mia rolls her eyes, “You still haven’t answered my question, Jen.”

Jenna crosses her arms, sitting up. “Of course I was upset. She just left town without a warning, if we didn’t catch her in the lobby she was just gonna a send a text. A text! Anyone would be upset at that — but it doesn’t mean what you think it means.”

But her sister doesn’t buy it. She opens her mouth to refute but their Dad swoops in saving the day. “Leave your sister alone, Mia. I’m sure whatever is going on with Y/N and Jenna – they can figure it out themselves.”

Jenna groans, “Dad, not helping.”

He shrugs, sitting at the head of the table with his own plate of breakfast.

Eventually, her family scatters to their own corners of the house to get ready for the day. Her other family members would be arriving soon and the actress had to start getting ready. Crap, she forgot to warn you about game night because you left so early. Jenna decides she’ll send you a text after she gets out of the shower.

With the raucous of the day, Jenna forgets to send the text. Her cousins arrived much earlier than anticipated and she was already getting pulled out to living room to talk about her upcoming projects. She gets so lost catching up with her cousins that she doesn’t realize when you arrive.

"Jenna, your novia is here." One of her aunts shouts making her head snap up to you as the front door opens. "Oh wow, and she's brought the whole store!"

Jenna's jaw drops as you walk in, holding multiple large bouquets of different arrangements of flowers. "Y/N?"

"Hey!" You peek your head out from the large flowers. "These are for your family... but I may have overestimated how big these were and Link refused to help me."

"Oh god, these are beautiful Y/N." Jenna's mom gets up from her seat, grabbing as many flowers as she can. "You didn't have to..."

"Oh, it's nothing, really. You guys are letting me stay here, I just wanted to express a little gratitude." You duck your head, all timid now.

Jenna knows it's not nothing. Those flowers cost a fuck ton, she would know she gets gifted those whenever she has an event.

"Well, gratitude expressed. I don't even know where to put these. Mia, Aliyah help the girl, please!"

The two sisters grab all but one smaller bouquet from your hands, walking away with smug smiles.

"Jen, get up," Aliyah whispers in passing as all the women and Jenna's dad filter over to the kitchen to view the gorgeous flowers.

She still hasn't moved from the couch and briefly, she thinks she can feel her cousin's smirking at her reaction.

"You got my family flowers?" Jenna asks dumbly, walking over slowly; ignoring everyone's eyes on them.

"Uh—yeah. Sorry if it's a bit much. I wasn't sure what everyone liked so... I got them all." You scratch your head with a bouquet in hand, catching Jenna's eye.

"These are for you..." You smile, holding out a smaller albeit more personal? flower arrangement. It felt like Jenna, somehow.

“I picked it out myself.” Your smile turns shy.

Like, if she were to walk into a flower shop and see this bouquet, she would instantly grasp it and never let go.

We still talking flowers?

"Thanks..." Jenna mumbles, grabbing the flowers; your fingertips touching sends sparks down her arm.

"Um—you're back early..." Is all she manages to say.

“Yeah… they didn’t need me for a long time so I decided to come back.” You explained, glancing at the new faces in the room. “Uh– what’s all this?”

The actress sends you a sheepish smile, “Family game night, we watch the game every Friday and cook some barbeque, it’s a whole thing. I forgot to text you, I’m sorry. You can call your driver back if this is too much.”

You laugh, squeezing her shoulder. “And miss out on great food? No, thank you.”

Jenna scans your eyes for the truth, “Are you sure? I know this isn’t exactly your scene so I understand.”

“Jen.” Your hand slides down, softly grabbing her hand. “I can’t even remember how long it’s been since the last time I had a home-cooked meal. I’m so in.”

You squeeze her hand for good measure. “Guys close the door.” Someone shouts.

Jenna doesn’t let you drop your hands this time because she’s already gripping them, pulling you to sit with her cousins – introducing you.

She ignores the giddy feeling in her chest that you want to stay.

You don’t say anything even when you’re both sitting and she’s still holding your hand.

–

“Who are you performing with?” Jenna tugs on your arm.

You squint to see her through your sunglasses. The Californian sun was making its presence known today and there are crowds of people everywhere as you tried to find some shade. It’s just past 6 PM and people are already starting to get rowdy – before all the good sets are even on. 

Fish nets, sparkles and bedazzles are all you see in the sea of people and you just know you’re at Coachella.

“I can’t say…” You fight the smile on your face, finding her begging adorable. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.”

“But Aliyah knows! I heard you whisper it to her.” She glares back at her sister standing a fair distance away from you two – who was talking to Mia and her boyfriend.

“I didn’t tell her anything, Jen. We were just fucking with you.” You laugh, sliding your hand in hers. 

An unspoken comfortableness has formed between you two. Light touches are a new development in this… situation Jenna had with you.

Whether it was knees touching under the dinner table, walking shoulder to shoulder on your daily walks around the neighbourhood (there wasn’t much to do as Coachella weekend approached) or leaning her head on your shoulder as she slept when you two watched TV before bed.

And now, it seems like things have escalated to a new level of comfort where you two willingly linked fingers whenever you walked anywhere. Neither of you make a peep when someone eventually reaches for the other’s hand. 

“Rude…” She pinches your side making you flinch away from her.

Jenna’s immediately tugging you back closer.

“Hey… I can’t get an injury before my performance. I’m legally binded to a contract.” You state.

Jenna snorts, “I thought you were friends with the performer? Are you really not gonna tell me who it is?”

“Nope and sure we’re friends but, I’m still contractually obligated to the festival and all that.”

“Come on Y/N!” She groaned unconsciously stepping closer to you. “I’ve been so nice to you, I haven’t called you an idiot all day!”

You laugh, “Is that supposed to win me over?”

“You tell me? Is it working?” The laugh dies in your lips when she tits her head in question.

Jenna misses the gulp you take because she was leaning closer, trying to find your eyes behind the dark-tinted glasses you had on. 

“No…” You replied with a vacant tone.

Jenna steps back when the sun blinds her eye. “You’re no fun.”

“I don’t know what to tell you… you’re gonna have to wait like everyone else.”

“Speaking of everyone else, I’m surprised we’re not surrounded by your groupies.” Jenna eyes the group of people hovering not too far away. 

You snicker, “They are not my groupies. I barely know those people but it happens at every music event. They flock over like geese. I let Link handle them.”

Jenna frowns, “Doesn’t it bother you?”

“What?” You look down.

“That you can’t even enjoy yourself at a festival without someone hovering over your shoulder.”

Since Jenna’s started this PR relationship with you her fame’s only increased overnight. She hates to say it but Sarah was right, being associated with you has only made her more famous and well-known. She felt like a Kardashian or Tom Holland who couldn’t even step out of their own homes without a camera being shoved in their faces. 

It’s getting so bad that Jenna has security with her everywhere she goes. She stopped driving herself to places. A headline even dropped that you two are official and serious now and that you have met her family; paparazzi tried to camp at her parent’s house until they called the police.

“Sometimes.” You answer honestly, shrugging. “But it’s part of the job.”

Jenna’s frown deepens, looking around. “This is not part of the job. At least not what I’ve seen.”

“Yeah, but we learn to deal with it, right?” You nudge her shoulder. Seemingly unbothered that made Jenna bothered for you.

“How?” Jenna couldn’t help her curiosity.

“Surround yourself with people that genuinely care about you. That still picks you even after all your fuck ups. Only got me about three of those, so I try to keep them close.” Then you let out a sad laugh, “I make it very hard for them sometimes, though.”

Jenna looks at Link as he holds a bored hand up when a girl tries to walk up to you. Then he’s shooing her away and whispering to both of your security guards.

She wants to fight the urge to say that you have a fourth person in your corner with her.

Instead, she says:

“I think you got a good one with him.” She nods to Link.

You follow her sight, “Yeah, I do... He’s usually right about most things too.”

“What do you mean?” She looks up in questioning.

Maybe Jenna’s not so bad? Flashes in your memory but you don’t tell Jenna. “Nothing.”

Jenna squints her eyes. “Fine… keep your secrets.” Tone a playfully bitter.

Eventually, you, Jenna and her sisters walk around aimlessly from set to set, taking pictures and enjoying the atmosphere. Jenna would be lying if she said she wasn’t enjoying herself right now. Somehow you all managed to find an empty corner by the Artist section of the performances which meant you had loosened up a bit. 

Jenna decided she liked it when you’re smiling, carefree and happy.

It suits you better than your permanent scowl. 

You’ve been so stressed this last week, taking phone calls and Zoom meetings. She tried not to express her concern at seeing how you obsessively fretted over some project, consuming you some nights. 

Jenna knows obsessive. She knows anxiety. This was different.

She finds herself with more questions than answers when it comes to you.

Why are you so closed off all the time? Is this how you work all the time? Where did this recent streak of bad behaviour start? Is there more to it than what you’re saying?

Are you okay?

But Jenna can’t find the right words to ask, so she doesn’t.

Only offering her warm pressure on top of you to hopefully lull you to sleep when you both drift off in her childhood bed.

Somewhere along the evening, she finds herself close to you.

You've loosened up as the days progressed and somehow, you and Jenna have found yourselves wrapped up in each other's arms as you danced.

Jenna had her back pressed firmly against your chest; her head tucked under your chin as your arms wrap around her waist from behind; hands linked as you jammed along to the music.

“The Met Gala’s coming up.” Jenna speaks up after a few moments of silence. “I’m invited.”

“Me too.” You reveal. She perks up, looking back at you.

“Yeah?” She smiles, pleased with your answer.

“Mhmm. I’m actually a co-chair this year.” You send an embarrassed smile.

She turns in your hold, jaw-dropping. “You are?”

“Yeah… why do you think I’ve been taking those calls all week? I was getting ready for the Met.”

“I thought that was for Coachella?” She snorts but can't help but ask, "Do you ever stop working?"

“Says you. Miss Scream Queen.” You tease making her roll her eyes.

“Be my date.” She says all of a sudden. “and walk the carpet with me this time.”

You raise your brows at her bluntness. This time?

You remember the last time she said those words and a tiny part of you prayed she meant it differently this time. But you can't fight your smile because you couldn't even say no if you wanted to — overwhelmed with the sudden want, to show off the girl in your arms. “I would love to be your date.”

Jenna's eyes sparkled with delight, beaming at you widely.

"Great! I'll talk to Enrique and Thom Browne about it."

"But I'm a Prada Ambassador?"

"I'll handle it." She nods with finality.

But before you can say anything, Link slides in with a whisper in your ear and a knowing smirk in Jenna’s direction.

“Hey, I have to go.” You whisper into her ear, pulling away but Jenna tightens her grip.

“Wait.” She steps forward – much closer than she means to.

“Yeah?” You asked softly and suddenly Jenna can’t hear the loud thumping of the bass anymore.

“Good luck and break a leg.” She says in a whisper.

Her hand reaches up to brush your neck still looking into your eyes. Jenna feels the same overwhelming pressure in her chest that she’s recently felt around you and gives into her sudden impulse; leaning in, parting her lips; meaning for them to connect to your cheek but instead swerve and slot in between your lips instead, in a moment’s haste.

She feels you tense for a moment before giving in, cupping her cheeks too. Kissing her back. Jenna loses it a bit, not expecting your lips to feel so soft and smooth and perfect against hers. Jenna can't help but tilt her head to the side, allowing your lips to press harder.

She feels the same electricity from your first meeting – when you shook her hand. The same electricity she tries to fight off every time she's near you. Except this time, it's by tenfold.

Jenna is so lost in you that she can’t even hear her heart beating loudly in her ears anymore — only feeling your thumb softly stroking her jaw.

The sound of coughing breaks you two apart.

“Sorry but Y/N we need to go.” Link sends a sheepish smile but he's trying to fight his grin at having a front-row seat to the show.

When Jenna pulls away she looks deeply into your eyes searching for some kind of indication of your feelings.

You smile shyly, squeezing her waist and rubbing her back. “I’ll find you after the show?”  

“Yeah…” Jenna whispers, still staring into your eyes.

“I’ll find you!” You yell over her shoulder as Link drags you away.

“Holy shit, finally!” Mia slides in beside her. 

Jenna doesn’t have the energy to shrug off the arm Aliyah throws over her shoulder as she brings her fingers up to her burning lips. “I don't know why I did that...”

“Oh my god, you’re an idiot. The both of you.” Mia rolls her eyes walking back to her boyfriend.

Jenna looks around, blinking, immediately catching the phones held in the air capturing her moment with you.

She walks off, following her sisters.

Unbeknownst to you and Jenna, a headline is about to drop:

New developments in Y/N L/N's Vegas case. Caught with cocaine! Las Vegas PD makes no official comments on possible charges or arrests. But is this the end for the bright star?

-

:)

The strip club and vaccine bit with Colin and Che is from a real line in one of their segments LOL.

yall happy now?

-

@alexkolax @ladey @jjsmaybank20 @werewoofrobinbuckley @chealsib @fanboy7794 @la-douleur-ne-finit-jamais @zelload @natashadeservedmoree @orang3-ish @friedryes @canyonyodeler @nahnahnahwhatt @be-missed @jjuncidio @fearstreetsoloyouandurmom @oksana-moods @theirishmanronan @r-ude @wokethefuxkup @bandaidss @skate-to-breathee @user173781 @frasersgf @natblidaclexa @justafoolinlove @bring-mecoffee @slu7her @haughtsauce21 @wheesunsangel @cyberexpertalienspy-blog @jennaortegasfootrest @zaza11sblog @omega-horus @heroofdeath11 @selluequestrian @justalittledissociation @imaloserbby @catswag22 @sorexhera @smjmgko @acutenobody @raven-ss @canceldevvi @sweetaimu @rockwyn @rwndsana @cheesybacon1 @cvluswnt @secretbackrooms @vixen1006 @zhasmindoesntknow @namesduntmatter @ulicebld @rozmrazaradelfinow @icarly23 @cartierdreamx @thenextdawn @annalestern

[ohmybueckers]

Never Strangers: Chapter One

Word Count: 5.7k

Warnings: drinking, author who is terrible about being consistent with tenses, incredibly down bad main characters (be gentle with Paige and Maya guys, the first love WLW situationship breakup is ROUGH)

Authors note: Not sure exactly how I feel about this chapter, but I feel like it gives a decent amount of context. Prepare for more flashbacks next chapter. Also this is highkey not proofread so … approach with caution there.

August 26, 2023

The drive from Stamford to Storrs is about two hours, traffic permitting. My mom waits approximately 20 minutes before she begins the inevitable interrogation session into the state of my life. More specifically, the train wreck it has become.

“You know, I really think you should consider rejoining mock trial. You loved it for so long, and look how many friends you made.” She rambles, her eyes never leaving I-95. “You probably would have never met Brooke if you hadn’t joined mock trial.”

Brooke and I met as co-counselors at a mock trial summer intensive for high schoolers at Yale the summer after my freshman year of college. Turns out trying to keep track of a bunch of hormonal fifteen year olds is a bonding experience like no other. She quickly became my formerly long-distance best friend and very soon-to-be roommate. 

“I told you, I’ll check it out when I get there.” I say, half telling the truth and half just trying to get her to change the subject. Clearly, my attempt was failing.

“I just want to make sure you’re making the most of college. I know University of Minnesota was not your thing, but I want you to find your why when it comes to Connecticut.”

I sighed. One of the perks of having a therapist as a mother is that you always have someone to listen to your petty problems without judgement. The downside is that she’s always trying to dig deeper, even when I really do not want to. “My why is being close to you. Plus, UConn is close enough to New York.”

“And close to Paige.” This remark nearly makes me choke.

“Mom!”

“Sorry, sorry!” She quickly apologizes, though knowing her she knew damn well what kind of reaction she would receive. I never told her full details of what actually went down between us - maybe because I thought it would be too embarrassing, or maybe because I knew that if she ended up in my mom’s bad graces, there was no coming back from that. All she knew is that at one point we were friends, then we were more than friends, and then things got messed up and we don’t talk anymore. She also knows that I really don’t like talking about it with her. “Does she know you’re coming?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know, I didn’t tell her.” 

The last text I had sent Paige was shortly after the basketball player announced she tore her ACL. Despite the tension between us, it felt wrong to say nothing in these circumstances. Basketball was Paige’s world, and I couldn’t even fathom the grief she must have felt. I received a “thank you maya, i hope you’re doing well. miss u” in return. It took everything in me not to call the blonde after reading the last five letters. 

Thankfully, my moms line of questioning ends there, and she returns to the driving playlist we made together the night before, an eclectic mix of 80’s hits with the occasional R&B ballad. Occasionally I hear her sing along, letting the crack of fresh air from the car window flow through her almost-black hair. Some people say I’m basically her twin: same dark hair, dark eyes, olive skin, and short stature. I just wish I got a fraction of her curves.

The rest of the car ride, I alternate between reading the newest Emily Henry book and messaging Brooke, who has been sending me updates on our new apartment. She moved into a couple of days ago while my mom and I were still on our girls trip to New York City, and her texts ranged from “ill give you the room with the ensuite bathroom if i can have the bigger room” (deal) to “our neighbors are FINE” (knowing her taste in men, doubtful). 

After what feels like too long in the car (maybe I never actually got over my tendency to get carsick), we pull into a lot. there it is: My new apartment, a small building surrounded by others similar to it and tall trees, still wrapped in vibrant green hues untouched by the incoming fall. I hear a yell from across the lot as I step out, but I’m so overwhelmed by the new sensations in Storrs that it takes my brain a moment to process that the tall figure running across the lot with a truly impressive speed was my best friend.

Brooke barrels towards me, wrapping me in a hug that nearly tips me over. “About time you got here!” She grabs my shoulders, her white acrylics a comfortably familiar sensation on my skin, before turning to my mom with her award-winning smile. “It’s so good to finally meet you! I’m Brooke. Wow, you could have convinced me you two were sisters. You’re gonna have to give me your skincare routine before you leave.” She gestures to my mom, who giggles. I can tell that her day has been made.

I will never fail to tell Brooke Jones that she is perhaps the most charismatic person I have ever met. When I’m in Mock Trial, I will fight to make my voice heard. Outside of the courtroom, however, I tend to lean on the more reserved side. On the first day of counselor training, it was as if she could sniff out how nervous I was and made it her personal mission to befriend me. And one thing about Brooke: she will make you talk. Somehow I don’t mind it as much when I’m with her. 

So it’s a great sight when Brooke and my mom trail ahead of me, hands filled with various decor items and chatting (I think I hear one of them mention bringing out photos of me in seventh grade, an action I know I will have to intercept later for my own sanity).  

About three hours later, with the hard work of the three of us supplemented by SZA’s discography, my space is set up just enough to where I can sleep comfortably for the next few nights. Brooke pulls my mom in first, after getting her phone number “for emergencies”. Next, it’s my turn. 

“Alright, you know what I’m about to say.”

“We’re not going to throw a party, I know you’re worried about the security deposit.” Behind my mom’s shoulder, I could see Brooke’s brows furrow as she mouthed don’t promise that. 

“No, I meant have fun. Take risks. Find your why,” She grabs my shoulders at the last word for emphasis, and it’s hard to believe that this is my real life and not some after school motivational special. 

We embrace one last time. Despite her cheesy moments, I am reminded just how much I’m going to miss seeing my mom every day. After three years of being in closer proximity to my dad, it was nice to spend the summer in Stamford, my days filled with NYT crossword games by the water and day trips into New York City. This summer solidified that it didn’t even need to be Boston - I was just happier on the east coast. 

“I like your mom, she’s sweet.” I hear Brooke say as we watch the white Toyota leave the parking lot from our third floor window. Our view is perfect, and I picture what it will be like to watch the leaves change from it as the semester goes on. It makes the last few hours of lugging furniture and suitcases up flights of stairs worth it.

“I love her when she’s not trying to psychoanalyze every decision I make,” I chuckle, moving to continue unpacking some miscellaneous items in the kitchen.

Brooke follows me. “Is that what that whole ‘find your why’ thing was about?” 

“Got a whole interrogation in the car. Everyone in my family thinks I’m having some sort of crisis,” I place a stack of plates (a gift from my mom’s boyfriend) in a cabinet. “She even suggested I came here for Paige.”

Brooke stands there, her lips falling into a flat line. She is taking far too long to respond for my preference. My jaw falls, eyes widening. “Stop.”

Brooke lifts her hands in surrender. “Ok, I would be lying if I said it hasn’t crossed my mind.”

My head falls into my hand, fingers pinching the bridge of my nose as my eyes shut. “I swear to god, why does everyone think I chose to go to UConn because of Paige?”

“Maybe because other people definitely have.” Ok, Brooke does have a point. While I have done everything in my power to not think about the blonde, everyone else has been increasingly trying to get in her orbit. I’ve even seen a handful of edits made for her in the past few months as people anticipate her first season back from her injury.

I shake my head. “I’m not that dumb. I’m here for-“

“In-state tuition and to be closer to me and your mom, I know.” Brooke finishes, coming around to wrap one arm around me. It’s her way to both apologize and check in on me. While I appreciate the gesture, a small part of me feels guilty - like I have gotten use to people extending pity to me for one reason or another: my parent’s divorce, the move to Minnesota, Paige, transferring schools. It gets to a point where I just want to win at something.

I lean into her embrace, smelling the citrus in her hair product. “I know I was down bad for a while, but I promise I’m fine.”

I feel Brooke nod above me. “Good, because she’s kinda everywhere on campus. Even if you don’t run into her, people don’t shut up about her.” This was to be expected, a fact I have been preparing myself for months for. I decided it’s just something I’m going to have to get used to, like many things in life.

“Well, why don’t we shut up about Paige and order some food. I’m starving,” I exclaim, moving towards my phone to pull up Doordash. Perhaps my first win can be proving to people that I can thrive at UConn and absolutely not fixate on Paige Bueckers. 

“Okay, okay. You good if we invite my cousin Adria to come over too? She’s chill I swear.” I remember Brooke telling me about Adria last summer, how she was entering her freshman year at `UConn at the time. I nod in agreement, excited to host my first get together in my new space. 

////

Just an hour and a half later, the three of us are sat in the sparsely furnished living room, eating pad thai surrounded by a large collection of boxes. Upon one look at Adria when she stepped through our front door, I could tell her and Brooke were related: both had the same long legs, clear deep complexion and white smiles that looked like they belonged on billboards. Where they differed was in dress: while Brooke wore the same blue sweat set that she helped me unpack in, Adria was dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a boho white tank top, a cascade of black and blonde braids down her back and an “A” necklace around her neck. 

Adria is only a sophomore, and yet from the first hour I have known her she appears far more put together than I was at this time last year. It’s evident in the way she talks about her pre-professional sorority, or in the way she talks about getting ahead of internship applications for the next summer. It would almost be irritating if she wasn’t also so charming.

“So what brought you to UConn?” Adria asks me from the other end of the couch. 

“Well, I tried U of M. My dad and his new girlfri… new wife,” The correction felt bitter on my tongue in a way that made me feel guilty. “They live out there, so I got in-state. It just wasn’t for me. I decided to transfer here just in case I still want to go to law school, since my mom lives in-state and I don’t want to go further in debt than I need to.”

“What do you mean if you still want to go to law school?” Brooke questions, her face incredulous. “Wasn’t that your whole plan since you were in, like, fourth grade?”

I love Brooke with everything in me, on the deepest platonic soulmate level there is. I tell her everything - except for the fact that I don’t know if I still want to practice law outside of college. I guess if I said it out loud to her, the girl who I once dreamed of going to law school with, practicing in the same city with before opening a shared practice, it would become more real: that I was seemingly blowing up all I’ve known with no plan B. She already thinks me dropping mock trial is some sign of an incoming mental breakdown.

“I’m just… exploring all of my options.” I muster, though from the furrow in Adria’s brow it must not be as believable as I would have hoped. Judging by the way Brooke’s shoulders appeared to relax, however, it at least worked on her. Eager to switch the attention off of myself, I turn to the younger girl once more. “Adria, what are you studying?”

“I’m kinesiology, trying to become a physical therapist. Maybe do some athletic training?”

Brooke chokes back a laugh, waving her hand. “She’s just saying that because she’s fucking someone on the basketball team.”

If there’s one similarity between Adria and I, it’s the way both of our jaws drop at Brooke’s candor. Her cousin seems particularly taken off guard, throwing her hands up with a, “Jesus Christ, Brooke!”

I can’t help but laugh at the dynamic. “Who is he?”

“She’s on the women’s team.” The word she rings in my ears as my cheeks get hot with embarrassment. I’m literally a lesbian, I thought she was above assuming sexuality based on looks after having it done to me throughout the summer by daddy’s money frat guys in Stamford.  Adria scratched the back of her neck, her cheeks flushing. “Um, KK Arnold?” 

I’ve only seen the name in passing, during a late night scan of the women’s basketball roster that I would never admit to. KK was the new recruit from Wisconsin to my memory … or was it Indiana? 

“She got a job with athletics over the summer. Somehow her and KK crossed paths and they’ve been hooking up since.” Brooke took a bite of her noodles between sentences, filling in the gaps that Adria left. 

“We haven’t even had sex, chill.” Adria held a hand up to her sister, but the shy look never left her face. “KK’s nice though. I think I could really like her, which totally sucks because basketball players aren’t exactly the relationship type.”

“Looks like you both have the same type.” Brooke says through another bite.

Silence falls on the room, followed by a confused “What?” from Adria. 

A part of me wants to be frustrated with Brooke for bringing it up - the last thing I want is to be known at UConn as just a girl who got with the basketball star. However, Adria seems like a kind person, and she did just confide in me about KK. Part of me feels like I owe her an explanation in some sick way. With a sigh, I give her the context. “Brooke is giving me shit because a long time ago, in high school, I kinda had a thing with Paige Bueckers.”

The younger girl looks at me for a beat as if she can’t believe the words that just came out of my mouth. Once she gets a minute to reboot, she explodes “Like Paige Bueckers Paige Bueckers?Holy shit!”

“Don’t say anything, it was a really, really long time ago,” I plea, recognizing that she was acquainted to one of her teammates. Oh god, the last thing I need is KK telling Paige that her … whatever Adria was … told her that her sister’s friend is still hung up on her or something.

“I won’t, I promise.” Adria holds both hands up, a move that must be genetic. “You’re not gonna hit her up now that you’re on her campus?”

“Yeah, I’ll pass,” I say, taking a bite of my own food. I try to ignore the way my stomach flips at how Adria claimed the entirety of University of Connecticut as belonging to Paige somehow. As if there was no room for me. “She may be great at basketball, but that girl does not do emotions.”

“Well, I’m not exactly surprised.” Adria shrugs. My head snaps back up, and Brooke shoots her cousin a pointed look.

“What do you mean?”

Adria continues, “I mean, its not a secret Paige kinda has a reputation here.”

So much for not fixating on Paige Bueckers. My mind races as I ask, “What kind of reputation?” although based on her tone and the context, I can make my own educated guesses. 

“She just gets with a lot of girls on campus.” Adria speaks slowly, her expression somehow guilty. “My freshman year roommates friend got with her. Said she slept with her one night and never talked to her again.”

It’s not like I had no clue that Paige had no issue moving on from me once she got to Storrs. For one, she didn’t seem to have an issue doing such a thing when we were together in the first place. She had also heard rumors through the grapevine at school during her senior year, with people saying that they knew someone whose sister was friends with someone who got with Paige or some outlandish connection like that. Hearing confirmation from someone in Storrs somehow made it more confirmed in my mind. That all Paige wants is to kiss as many girls as possible, touch as many girls as possible, fuck as many girls as possible. Maybe that’s why she started acting so cold and things fell apart. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t enough for her, I can’t help my mind from thinking bitterly. 

“Can’t say I’m surprised.” I force myself to breeze past the conversation, knowing that I cannot dwell on the past again. After a year or two of trying to figure out where everything went wrong, I have long since realized that there is nothing else to decode. I preferred to think of Paige as a painful memory that I’ve locked far, far away - it was just easier that way. “Who wants to watch a show?”

“You good, Maya?” Brooke asks, a small smile on her face. I know she feels guilty for bringing it up in the first place. But really, I have no reason to be mad: I was the one who ended things, and years ago at that. Being hung up over Paige Bueckers was ridiculous at this point.

“Yeah.” I answer, my voice more sharp than I intended. Fuck. Shaking my head as if to shake off any sort of doubts in their mind, I smile as I stand and walk towards the kitchen. “Believe me when I say I do not care what that girl does. She can do what she wants, and so can I. And what I want right now is to drink some prosecco and watch the Bachelorette.”

The sight of me pulling out the bottle of wine seems to strip Brooke of her doubts, because she agrees with a “Hell yeah, lets do it.”

Thankfully, once the TV is on we all settle into a groove of gossiping about strangers on our TV, not the very real people in our lives. Brooke in particular is enthralled, even though I had to beg her for weeks last summer to give the show a try. Even Adria chimes in as the two contestants cry over these men with a yell of “stand the fuck up!” I am quickly reminded in this moment that these two girls are, in fact, related. At one point in the night, Adria whips out her phone and snaps a photo of Brooke and I, grinning under a pile of throw blankets with our wine glasses in hand, an act I fail to question. After all, she had been checking her phone sporadically throughout the night.

Soon enough, we catch up on the past two episodes, our heads buzzing with the wine we consumed and our eyes struggling to stay awake as we say our goodbyes for the night. Adria pulls me into a hug, my head surrounded by the scent of her vanilla perfume as she whispers, “I’m so sorry about saying that stuff about Paige. You should know you… you absolutely did not deserve that shit, whatever she did. For the record, I think you’re awesome and that its completely her loss.”

I smile, happy to hear her words even if this is just a wine happy trail of thought. “It’s okay, Adria, I promise. It was so good to finally meet you.”

Brooke walks her out, and I can barely make it through brushing my teeth and washing my face before collapsing on my bed. The mattress is not the best quality and Amazon still says my mattress topper won’t be here for a few days, but I drift off easily, my thoughts filled with nothing except gratitude for my first night in Storrs and eager for my new start.

It’s safe to say this feeling does not extend in the morning, when I am awoken by the sun blazing through my window. My mouth is dry as I reach for my phone, eager to check the time and groaning when I see it is only 7AM. My groan is not audible for long, though, as I am quickly silenced by my most recent notification. One that has been awaiting me since 12:37AM.

Paige (DO NOT CALL): You go to UConn now???

August 26, 2023

“Go, go, go… Let’s fucking go Dorka!” I yell, watching as my old teammate scored in a game against the Liberty. It’s the Saturday night before the start of classes, and while the streets of Storrs are filled with people on their first night out of the semester, my teammates and I have all been moved into our current apartments for a little over two months. When your summer breaks are filled with workouts on campus mixed with brief vacations or visits home, that first night out doesn’t exactly carry the same novelty.

Which is why some of us were sat in Nika and Azzi’s living room, game on the TV as the two hosts prepare whatever alcoholic beverage they are subjecting us to from the kitchen separated by a counter. Three of our freshmen sit in the room with us: Ashlynn is on the floor, Ice is right above her on the couch with Aaliyah and Aubrey, and KK is next to me, typing hurriedly on her phone. Being one of the oldest players this year, I feel it’s especially important for me to get to know them - not just how they play, but who they actually are off the court.

“If UConn gets me playing like that,” Ice gestures to the TV, “I’ll know I made the right decision.”

“No turning back now.” Aubrey clapped her on the back, an over exaggerated grin on her face, which Ice responded to by shoving her off playfully. Ashlynn giggles, but doesn’t respond beyond that. It’s not abnormal for her to be quiet - what is abnormal is how silent KK is, her phone apparently more interesting than any of us. Aubrey seems to notice too, because she calls over to her.

“Hey KK, what did you think of that play?” No response. The typically extroverted girl has her chin in her hand, still staring at the screen in her other hand. Ice grabs the nearest pillow to her and throws it at the girl, prompting a jolt and a startled “What?” from KK and a “Ay, cut it out!” from Nika across the counter as she stirs a pitcher of God knows what.

“Bruh, KK, you’re not even watching,” I roll my eyes.

“Probably busy texting her girl,” Aaliyah mutters, although clearly she wasn’t trying that hard to be quiet. Hold up … her girl? Now the entire room quickly turns away from the game and to the freshman, who sits up from her slouched position with a death glare.

“I told you that in private.”

“Yo what? KK, you’ve been on campus for, like, five seconds,” Nika pops in the room.

“Clearly that’s all she needs,” Ice shrugs, earning her the same pillow thrown right back at her.

“Y’all suck,” KK slumps back into the couch, crossing her arms with a slight pout. I feel bad, wondering if we’ve been too hard on the teasing.

“Ok c’mon, we’ll stop. Let’s see her.” I gesture her to bring her phone closer to me, an act that she ignores for now.

“She’s not even my girl,” she mumbles.

“Do you want her to be?” Nika asks, eyebrows raised as she steps closer. All of us watch as KK bites her bottom lip, looking down at her sneakers. Hold on… she’s blushing. I may have only known the girl for two months, but i’ve never seen her do that before.

“Holy shit,” Nika exclaims. “KK’s a lover girl.”

“Nothing to be ashamed of, just surprising is all,” Aaliyah clarifies, “not many freshmen are too into settling down.”

I notice Aaliyah, Nika, and Aubrey turn to face me, their stares deadpan. “What are you lookin’ at me for?” I exclaim, pointing at my chest. The heat rising to my face reveals that it’s no secret, even to me.

“What do you think?” Azzi calls from the next room. I sigh.

It’s no secret among the team (or anyone, really) that I had a pretty… entertaining first two years at UConn. Once COVID restrictions began lifting and the team was able to see other people outside of other players, some of the older players made it their mission to show the younger ones what they had been missing, one of those things being who they were missing. Honestly, it’s what I thought I needed at the time: being trapped in my dorm the majority of the time I wasn’t in practice gave me a lot of time to think, and with thinking came regret. More than once I jolted up in my bed in the middle of the night, dreams of dark hair, tanned skin, and that laugh replaying in my mind. It was torture.

Being in a different girl’s bed every weekend silenced it, just momentarily. Some people viewed me as a player who got off on getting any girl she wanted. The guilt of it finally caught up to me at the beginning of my sophomore year, when I thought about all of the girls I hurt, the ones who thought I wanted more than just one or two nights. It just reinforced my worst fear about myself: I was a womanizer who was incapable of caring about anything aside from basketball. 

“Aight aight,” I surrender, shifting my attention back to KK. “We not talking about me right now. Let’s see her.”

KK unlocked her phone, typing a username into the search bar before handing the phone off to me. Nika and Ice were quickly at my side, craning their necks to see a peek. The girl (Adria Taylor, I discover from her bio) is tall, with deep skin and long braids going down her back.

“She’s so pretty!” Nika gushes, and I would have to agree.

Ice, unable to resist the pink circle surrounding Adria’s profile photo, taps on the waiting story before KK can protest. The phone illuminates with a photo of two girls smiling on a couch, captioned “first night back” with a heart and a couple of mentions, presumably her friends handles. I don’t even need to take a look at what is written, however, because my eyes seem to have zeroed in on the girl further from the camera, and my mouth seems to go dry. It can’t be, but it is.

Because the girl in the photo is Maya. 

“Holy fuck.”

I don’t even realize I’ve said it until the three girls turn to look at me, confusion laced in their faces. “What?” Nika asks, concern evident. My heart is racing at a million miles an hour and my hands suddenly feel impossibly sweaty, but I refuse to reveal myself to them. 

I fake a cough, covering it with one hand while the other goes to scratch the back of my neck. “Uh, nothing. Thought I saw something but um,” Suddenly the sight of my lap clad in Nike tech sweats is the most interesting sight in the world. “She’s cute, KK.”

Almost like some sort of angel sent to save me, Azzi appears with a tray full of drinks that are a bright pink color and look entirely too sweet. “Drink it slowly guys, I’m not really sure I measured correctly.” She looks embarrassed at the admission, passing them around the room. Upon my first sip, I wince. Yep, definitely not too sweet. Will I still drink it? Yes. It would be a shame to let a perfectly good drink go to waste, and I now have something to run from tonight.

We continue watching the game, or at least I am. During commercials I spark conversations with anyone who will listen, including asking Ashlynn about some country concert she went to with her parents over the summer. I don’t even really listen to country, but it was nice to see the typically shy girl light up over something. Plus, it gave me an excuse not to think too hard.

Truthfully by the end of the night I was fucking hammered, not bothering to keep track of how many shots I chased down after whatever concoction Nika and Azzi made. Everyone in the room knew it too, to the point where Nika took it upon herself to walk me back to my apartment once the game ended, even though I only lived one floor down and KK and Aubrey were both still at her apartment. 

After I promised her I would chug some water before bed and take the pain reliever she laid out for me in the morning, she agreed to leave and let me go rest. I collapsed in my bed, which suddenly felt like the most comfortable place I had ever been. My brain, on the other hand, was providing anything but comfort running at around 100 miles an hour. Unable to resist, I look up Adria’s profile on my account, clicking the story. Sober me probably would have thought about how it would look if I showed up in her profile views, but drunk me clearly didn’t care enough. 

Sure enough, she’s sat there with a glass of wine in her hands. My heart jumps as I realize that she’s still just as beautiful as she was when I first met her, just more grown up this time. Her face is all defined cheekbones, glistening eyes, and a smile - God, that smile, that never failed to brighten my day if it was directed at me. It’s been a while since I’ve glanced at her profile - though we still follow each other, she barely ever posts and I don’t remember the last time she’s interacted with anything I’ve posted. Viewing her profile is reserved for nights where I’m filled with just enough delusion to convince myself it’s a good idea. Nope, never is. 

The girl next to her (Brooke, I assume from the tag) is leaning into her slightly in a way that makes my stomach flip. She’s not entirely unfamiliar to me - I’ve definitely seen her in a photo dump by Maya last summer. A part of me wonders if that’s the next girl that gets to treat her the way I should have. What if she came to UConn for her, I think. Nope. Can’t do that. Maya hasn’t been mine, not for a while.

The urge to reach out has died down through the years, going from entirely unbearable at times to more of a constant dull itch that I feel as though I can’t ever scratch. Her texting me after my ACL tear last summer provided temporary relief. I mean, it had to say something that she cared enough to show that she cared. A person that hates me wouldn’t do that.

But then, she never responded to my reply. A person that hates me would do that.

So yeah, there is nothing I want more in this world than to text Maya one last time, just to tell her I’m sorry. That I still think about the way I treated her, and how I’ve been too afraid to be with another girl since I’m worried I’ll do the same thing. That I know I don’t deserve her, not even platonically, but feelings aside I miss being around her. I wish we could be friends again, or acquaintances who occasionally text each other on birthdays and holidays, or something. At the very least, I want her to know I’m sorry.

But beyond everything, I want her to be happy. And if me not talking to her makes her happy, as stated the last time I saw her physically where she stated she “just needed time”, I was willing to suffer through that.

Somehow knowing she could be anywhere right now, even just a short walk away, made the suffering unbearable right now, in a way that I hadn’t felt since freshman year. 

Blame it on the alcohol, or the picture, or whatever you like. Doesn’t change the fact that I opened my contacts in search for one particular one. Doesn’t change the five word text I sent that took an embarrassingly long time to think of. And it doesn’t change how my fingers pressed send before any other doubts could enter my brain. Putting my phone on do not disturb, I plug it in and turn off my lights, deciding that chugging water can wait until tomorrow. For now, I need to sleep off everything I’ve seen tonight and the memory of what I just did. 

[johnwickb1tsch]

The Girl Next Door - VII

A Constantine x FemVampire!Reader (feat John Wick!) fic based on this imagine. all chapters warnings: nsfw, blood, biting, violence, trigger warning this chapter mentions pregnancy/death divider by animatedglittergraphics gif from pinterest-if yours ill gladly credit u

7.  hard to kill

Needless to say, you are too happy to retire early to the closet, having stolen his comforter and made a nest in which to curl up and feel sorry for yourself. You steal a towel too, expecting to cry. Perhaps it is a mercy, that they're only silent tears, for John as much as yourself. 

You lay there in pain, staring at the wall, until the rising sun brings you the merciful relief of sleep. 

When you wake, you find a note on the kitchen table that reads:

Gone to check on some things. Do NOT leave the building! My friend Beeman lives in the basement. Don’t eat him. Back soon. -John 

Would a please really kill him? 

He’s gone to check on Angela, you reason. The human girl he really wants to be with, but with whom he may only have very limited time. You are not sure which part of that hurts you more. 

The idea that he could be dying still doesn’t feel real to you. Aside from the coughing, he seemed so strong. You think about what he said about the bond you share, and how your own strength was probably the reason he was even still alive. 

You feel good, with dhampir blood still in you, but you reason it would be best to keep yourself fed, keep your energy up. You are in a part of town where you think it will be an easy thing to harvest the evil doer you require for your meal. 

You head out for a drink. 

♰♰♰

By the time you return to the bowling alley John still has not returned. Worried, you try to reach out through your connection, curious what he’s up to. You find it shut like a brick wall has been put up between you, and you sigh to yourself. 

Fine. Be that way. 

There’s nothing to do in this apartment. No books. No tv. You are still in your dress that you wore to the club the night before. It’s black, and doesn’t show it, but you can smell the splatters of blood on the fabric from your little misadventure at the club. You decide to take a bath, and maybe with a little spite, you use John’s toothbrush. 

Poking around for something clean to wear, you pick out one of John’s white shirts, which you swim in, and your undies from before. Maybe it will give him a laugh, when he gets home. You covet his mirth as much as his kisses, pathetic thing that you are. 

You sit at the kitchen table, staring at the cracked subway tiles and bored out of your skull. You are considering exploring the building just to kill some time, when you hear some thumping outside the door, and there’s a heavy knock. 

You freeze in your tracks. 

How did you not even hear the footsteps coming up the creaky stairs?

As you try to reason what could be out there with your undead heart pounding in your chest a deep voice calls, “I know you’re in there, vampling.” 

Fuck. 

You look around for something that you could use as a weapon against John Wick–and can’t help but feel like it's a hopeless endeavor. 

You just stand there silently, torn as to what to do.

“Still here, milaya,” he calls.

You're not sure why you feel embarrassed. “What do you want?” 

“I’ve brought your boyfriend a present.”

Double fuck. 

Does he need an invitation to enter, like a vampire does? One more thing John neglected to explain to you. You almost contradict that John Constantine is so not your boyfriend, but then you reason that might be the thing that kept John alive the night before.

Strangely…even if he is a vampire killer, you don’t really think the dhampir means you harm. However, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t scare you. 

Trembling in your bones, you go to open the door. 

John Wick is there, a tower in black, looking unfairly edible–with a vampire curled in a ball at his feet. “What the fuck?”

“Can we come in?”

“No.” 

It’s worth a shot. 

Wick rolls his eyes, and pushes past you, dragging the incapacitated vampire rather unceremoniously behind him. 

You guess that answers that question.  

Wick drops the vampire in a heap on the floor. You see that the unlucky bastard’s hands are bound with heavy metal cuffs behind his back, and a large silver knife protrudes from his chest. He’s seeping blood onto the floor, and you wonder if you should complain, or if it will make one bit of difference in this dump. 

“Where’s Constantine?” 

“He’s not here.” 

By the way Wick turns to look at you with sharpened interest, you wonder if you shouldn’t have admitted that. This is when he seems to really notice what you’re wearing, the corners of his lips curling in a little smile. 

Maybe Constantine’s oversized shirt fits you like a dress, but you realize you are showing quite a bit of leg. Rather pointlessly, you tug down the hemline–entirely too late. 

“What is this?” asks the dhampir, gesturing up and down with his chin at your ridiculous outfit, amused.

“I didn’t have any clothes here…” you defend, backing away as he slowly advances on you. “What are you doing here?” 

“Hunting.” He is still advancing towards you, slowly, and you continue to back away.

Hunting who, you’re afraid to ask.

When you pull one of the mismatched kitchen chairs into his path the vampire hunter looks at you with amusement, his eyes practically sparkling. But maybe he realizes that he’s scaring you, because he pauses in his tracks. “This vampire has some interesting information about don Juan’s plans. I need Constantine.”

“Why?”

“Because demons are not my specialty.”

You wait for him to elaborate, but it seems he is waiting for John to explain further. He looks around the crumbling apartment with a critical eye, clearly not impressed. “He lives like this?”

“It’s a safehouse,” you defend, though you have no idea why. “That worked well, obviously.” You frown up at him, which he seems to enjoy.

“It may have, with the wards on the door,” he answers, nodding towards the runes scratched into the jamb. “If you hadn’t left their protection. I tracked you.”

“You what?” The back of the rickety chair creaks under your grip.

“I’ve had your blood, you’ve had mine,” he says like that should be enough of an explanation. Then he inhales, his eyes sliding closed for the barest moment. “You had a good feed tonight. Ripe with blood. Care to share?” His fangs glint in the low light, and you extend the chair further before you. 

“No, we are not doing that again.”

This forbidding, lethal, terrifying man extends his full lower lip in a pout, and it’s so cute that you are dumbfounded.

“I thought we had fun last time.”

“You had all the fun.”

“I can return the favor,” he assures you with a lift of those unruly dark brows, and goddam if suddenly you are holding the chair for support, because your knees have gone weak beneath you. 

Do not look at his mouth.

You can’t help it, and it is lush, and well-formed, and curled into a shit-eating smirk.

A sharp crack fills the apartment, and only a moment later do you realize you broke the chair.

“Someone’s pent up. Poor darling.”

He advances on you again, and you flee to the other side of the table. That sweet scent of flowers and spices has started filling the room between you, and a fine tremor starts in your core, making its way straight to your loins. “Stop that.”

“I will if you will,” he invites, bracing himself upon the table as though he might leap over it. “It isn’t just me.”

“What…is it?” you ask through gritted teeth, clenching your fists against the urge to go to him, to wrap yourself around him and climb him like an oak.

“A long time ago…my wife used to pick a little white flower in the meadow near our izba. She loved their scent. That is what you smell like to me, milaya. Light and fresh as spring. Who are you?”

But all you can do is shake your head, suddenly so weak that you have to sit. “How long ago?”

“Three hundred years? Give or take.” He makes a this or that gesture, and you are distracted by the sheer size of his hands, those elegant long fingers waving. 

The scope of such a timespan lived by one man is still dizzying to you.

“What happened to her?”

“I killed her.”

Your eyes fly wide with shock, perhaps because he clearly worshiped the ground this woman walked on. “What? Why?”

“The usual way. Something went wrong with the birth of our daughter. She was born dead, and took her mother with her.” He looks at the wall while he tells you this, almost as though he is recounting a story that happened to someone else. “I should have known that nothing living could be created by something half dead like me. I tried to follow them…but I am hard to kill.”

“Jesus. I’m so sorry.” 

He nods, and turns his stare at you, that piercing dark gaze holding all the weight of the world.

“You are lucky you needn’t worry of such things any more.”

“Excuse you? You don’t know anything about me. I wouldn’t call being taken and turned into this lucky.”

“Then you wanted children with John Constantine?”

He seems to have no problem with asking you such a personal question, and the leap of this logic gives you whiplash. “No, that would be…fucking insane.”

He smirks at you, as though he’s proved a point. You, on the other hand, aren't even sure what you're arguing about anymore. 

Before you can tell him off though, he changes tack again, looking around the dilapidated space with a raised eyebrow. “So this is how he keeps you? You like this?”

“I told you…we don’t live here.” 

He takes a deep sniff of the air, continuing to walk around. “It smells like he lives here.” 

You frown at this, open your mouth to argue, then shut it again. You think about all the clothes John has stored here. Has he been living here for the past month, to avoid running in to you? No wonder he was able to ghost you so perfectly. 

You’re not sure why it surprises you at this point, but it still feels like being stabbed. You press a hand over your chest absently, willing it to stop hurting all the time. Jesus fucking christ, it would be nice to have some relief from this grief you’ve ultimately caused yourself. 

Wick watches you with eagle-sharp eyes as you process this, a small frown pulling between his brows. “I don’t think I like the way this stupid boy treats you, zolotse. If you were mine, I would keep you in comfort, and you would know how much you are adored every day.”

You have to keep reminding yourself that you do not know this man. That words like this from a total stranger are borderline crazy, and you should not be so charmed by them as you are. 

“Please…stop,” you beg him, hiding your face in your hands. Where the fuck is Constantine? He really needs to come back now. You reach out to him again, trying to convey some sense of urgency, but find the invisible thread between you is still blocked on his end. Turd.

 “We do not know each other.” 

“That’s not what it feels like,” he says, and even though you’re not looking at him, you hear the shrug in his voice. You feel him near closer, and you tell yourself that you stay put because it’s ridiculous to run around the kitchen table like he couldn’t catch you any time he really wanted to, and not because…you like the feeling of his solid warmth at your side. For a man who claims he’s half dead…he feels very alive, and your every nerve ending stands at attention with John Wick at your elbow.  

“Because there is something about you, something out the corner of the eye, and the way you hold your head, and the way you talk back to me so bravely when you know I could break you in two…I feel like I know you, vampling.”

“Well…you have lived a very long time.” You try to explain it away, but you can tell just by his eyes that he’s not having it. 

“The longer you live, the more you know…the more you realize you don’t know. But things do seem to move in circles.” He dares to touch you, just your hair, very lightly fingering the strands still half-damp from your bath. “You should come back to New York with me.”

You really do need your head checked, because for the barest second–you are sorely tempted. You are more angry with yourself than him when you snap, “Wow, you really don’t waste any time, do you?”

“I feel that I have waited lifetimes for you, milaya.” 

He leans over your seated form, engulfing you with the breath of his chest, his muscle-corded arm braced upon the table. With one of those agonizingly large hands he turns your face up to look at him, not allowing you to hide any longer. Those piercing dark eyes gaze right into your soul, and that intoxicating infusion of spiced sweetness engulfs you again. A warm, fuzzy certainty settles over you: what is the point in fighting him? This man, in whose arms you belong?

 This is the moment John Constantine choses to burst through the door, and chaos erupts above the BOWL BOWL BOWL. 

---------------

*izba - cabin made of pine logs, often with ornate little details on the outside around the windows. 

[wasitforrevenge]

new romantics pt 2

pairing: MODERN AU!college azriel x female reader

warnings/content: suggestive language, yearning!!! alcohol and drugs mentioned, two love sick idiots, some parts are flashbacks, this is not edited…ill do it later sorry, photos from pinterest

word count: 4.5k

summary: the start of long weekend vacation starts, azriel surprises you and both of you struggle with holding your feelings inside.

authors note: i feel like i use too many of the same words im trying here please! anyways hi part 2 of my azriel fic! i think im gonna write 4 chapters, i’ve already started on part 3 and can’t wait to post! hopefully this weekend, azriel smut coming soon!!!… i am so excited i can’t stop blushing as i write it so! enjoy this part and hopefully i’ll have the next one out soon! thank you for all the likes and comments! i appreciate all the feedback thank you all!

the next friday afternoon, you’re sitting in the last row of the room, fake listening to your english lecture droning out your professors voice with thoughts of azriel. as always. you truly wonder how you manage to keep passing.

this is your last class before a four day weekend, your whole day has just dragged on and frankly, you’re exhausted and just want to go home and do nothing all weekend.

your head has running with thoughts of last weekend all week. its been driving you mad. you’ve never been one at being able to talk about your feelings, like at all. growing up an only child left and never having any more than just a couple friends you knew growing up left you lonely.

but once you became friends with azriel, you just felt like you belonged somewhere. the days you just spend laying around and talking about anything and everything. whether its what some dumbs said in class, the best dad joke you can find to the hardcore shit from your childhoods.

the only thing you could never talk to him about was… him. all you wanted to do was confess to these feelings but yet you haven’t. how can you just admit to your best friend that you’re in love with him.

that’s also something you came to the conclusion to over this week. that you’re in love with him. you thought azriel was driving you mad before you realized this but afterwards… it was so much worse!

when you and nesta finally connected after the party, she for sure entertained your delusions. you told her about everything that happened, leaving out the way he talked to you and held you. that was something you wanted to keep for yourself.

you’re deep in your mind over him, yet again, when you hear a psst from behind you.

and there he was.

azriel peeking his head through the slightly propped door, he grinned when you looked back towards the door to see what was behind you. your eyes grew wide… he’s supposed to be in class right now but you couldn’t even think about that as he stuck his hand and motioned for you to come, there you were making sure your professor was turned to the chalkboard before grabbing your bag and going with him.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

when you got outside your classroom, azriel grabbed your hand and brought you directly to the car. he opened your door and let you in before sitting in himself. your eyes focus on the sight of his scarred hums gripping the steering wheel and all you can think about is that video of the girl saying “you wish that was you huh you wish that was you!”

he’s always done that and it sends butterflies through you every time. once he got in and started driving… away from the direction of your apartment. when you turning to look out the back window, you notice a couple bags in the back seat.

“oh my god az pleasseee tell me where you’re taking me” you groaned pretending to be annoyed at the man in the drivers seat.

he looked over at you again and the sparkle in his eyes just sends you back to when he was staring down at you laying on his chest, cuddled up against him.

he laughed and said, “sorry can’t tell you it’s a surprise.”

you groaned again, even louder this time. “this better be good i missed the rest of the class for this.” you would miss every lecture for this man and he wouldn’t even have to ask.

“oh don’t worry princess, it’s insanely better than whatever that professer was saying… not that you were paying attention to anyway.”

you turned to look at him, mouth open wide and mumbled a shut up. he laughed so hard and then of course you had to laugh, but your eyes couldn’t ignore the way his chest lifted and the muscles in his arms contracted. what you would do to feel him hold you again.

the drive continued with you guys laughing and singing to the playlists on your phone. another thing you guys love to do is to blurt out states on license plates when you see a new one, something that azriel, of course, excels at and seeing them first every time.

about 3 hours later, you pull into a long driveway in the middle of the woods. you didn’t mind the long drive, in fact you and azriel mainly take backroads every time you guys go out just to take in the scenery. the trees and mountains on this drive particularly blew your fucking mind.

“is this where we going?” you ask looking out the window like a little kid, fingers holding on the door. azriel couldn’t help but look over at you as you spoke, his heart swelled at the sight of you.

the way your hair moved from the window open, how your skin gleamed in the sun shining through the windows of his old mustang and the look of utter excitement that coated your face the whole drive.

he doesn’t answer and just keeps driving up the dirt road before your eyes land on a beautiful, old wooden house next to a huge lake. you’re in awe of the masterpiece before you as you notice two cars already in the driveway. you know right away by rhysands honda civic and nesta’s toyota rav4, that everyone is here.

you can’t help but internally scream right now. you can’t believe that azriel has brought you here, and kept it a secret for you don’t even know how long. you look at him, eyes wide and he can’t help the smile that breaks out on his face when you look him.

you smile back at him, even bigger than the one he gave you if possible before your eyes turn to the front door and you see nesta and cassian standing there waving at you to come inside.

you go to open your door but azriel is there doing it for you before you even notice he got out of the car. even though you loved sitting in his car engulfed in the smell of him, you couldn’t wait to get out and spend the weekend here.

you step out azriels car, breath taken away yet again at the view in front of you. nesta is throwing herself into your arms before you even realize, engulfing you in a huge hug.

as she pulls away, you see through the corner of your eye azriel and cassian getting your bags from the car. she grips your hand lightly in yours and starts pulling you towards the house as she asked you about your drive up.

walking inside the house, she let go out of hand and spun around in a circle yelling “TADA” as you both laugh. your eyes dart across the house to the two big L black couches, along with a couple comfy chairs, a fire place along a wall that had shelves covered in books and photos. floor to ceiling windows covered the outside of the house giving you an amazing view of the trees, mountains and lake surrounding the house.

to your left, you see a open wooden kitchen, cabinets littered the walls with a huge two door fridge with a huge kitchen island, covered in different bottles of alcohol. oh yes you guys will be partying it up over this long weekend.

you hear the steps of people behind you, hoping to see azriel again you couldn’t stop staring at him during the drive up. everyone he caught you staring he smiled at you and just kept on driving, like it was perfectly normal. you turn around to see rhys and feyre walking down the staircase next to the entrance way of the house along with azriel and cassian walking into the open front door.

your smile widened as you saw him and you felt nesta jab her elbow into your side and you gave her a glare before she smiled wide at you, before leaving to walk to the kitchen.

you laugh in your head and walk towards azriel to greet everyone, “hi friends!” you said as cassian pulled you into a bear hug. what you didn’t see was cassian give azriel a wink as he embraced you. he pulled away with a laugh before both feyre and rhysand brought you in for a hug.

as they let you go, nesta called everyone to come to the kitchen. they followed but you stayed there as you watched azriel move your bags off to the start of the stairs to take up to your rooms later so you guys can join your friends in the kitchen. he turned around he saw you there watching him. he swears his heart almost explodes out of his chest every time you look at him.

azriel was ready to tell you that he was in love with you. it’s a feeling he refused to admit for years up until a couple months ago. despite not admitting it, deep down he knew what it was, he never had anyone treat him like you did. the way you cared about him and just treated him normal after so many people in his life have just walked on eggshells around him.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

when he met you, he was attached to you from the start. he knew a lot about greek mythology, taking the class was just something fun for him and when you and him got partnered together, he knew it was the beginning to an end. the way his heart started beating faster when you came around, the way his hands got sweaty when you accidentally brushed hands or when your thigh rested against his while sitting next to each other in the library.

cassian and rhysand knew something was up the way azriel came into rhysand’s apartment. the faint blush still on his cheeks, and the smile that didn’t seem to disappear. this had been happening a lot over the past couple weeks when they saw him.

azriel walked in, backpack slung over his shoulder as thoughts of you looking beautiful, sitting across from him at the coffee shop you guys were studying at that night. he didn’t even glance towards the couch until he heard cassian call out to him, “what’s the smile for az?.”

azriel turned towards his brothers, seeing their own smiles painted on. azriel laughed as he walked over and tossed his bag into the chair beside him before taking the seat next to cass.

he swiped a hand over his face and sighed in exaggeration, “what smile?” when he looked towards them, the shit eating grins on their faces said it all. they knew about the unrequited crush he held onto for mor, they knew what his family did to him, all they hoped is that whoever was making azriel smile this much wouldn’t break his heart.

a few weeks later, azriel walked into his own apartment, with you in tow. after he came across you in the elevator, he realized it made spending time together a lot easier. after class one evening, he invited you over one night to join in on movie night with his friends.

he finally told his friends who you were a couple days ago. they couldn’t even remember a time they had seen him talk about something so passionately, rhysand and cassian don’t even think that he registered it. azriel was still insisting that you guys were just friends.

that night was spent watching the jurassic park series. you were so relived walking to his apartment, you were nervous to meet his friends but he assured you everything would be okay and there was nothing to worry about. you loved that about him, sometimes you didn’t even realize how much you stressed yourself out, but every time you spoke it, azriel was there assuring you everytime.

after three movies, four bags of popcorn and a ton of candy, you were starting to doze off. you were so comfortable on the couch surrounded by the way azriel’s apartment smelt.

azriel, who was sitting next to you, noticed that you were getting sleepy and leaned down to whisper in your ear, “hey princess, i’ll walk you down.” you nodded to him with a smile. he stood up and offered you his hand. you guys said your goodbyes and everyone pulled you in a hug. you loved his friends already, nesta especially.

he holds his your soft skin with his own flawed, he could never really get over the way you felt against him. during this point of him liking you, the touch was minimal but he ate it up every time. azriel opened the door and walked out behind you, his hand ever so lightly grazing over the small of your bag where your t-shirt had ridden up.

“but the scene of the t-rex oh my god az,” you laughed lightly as you were exiting the elevator on your floor. he shook his head at you, “no way the scene with the kids in the kitchen was the best in the first one!” he insisted throwing his arms up in exaggeration.

“okay az whatever you say.” you giggle as you approach your door, turning around to face azriel behind you and grab your keys out of your shorts pocket. you look up and meet his eyes as he towers over you. you stand in silence staring at each other before you tear your gaze away, you wonder how long you’d been staring at him like that. he gives you a smile as you look down nervously with your keys in your hand. you turned back to unlock your front door then moved back to face him to say goodnight.

“thank you for movie night az, we have to do it again.” he brings his hand to your cheek and moves a piece of hair that fell into your face from your messy hair clip, he tucks it behind your ear as you look up at him again. “of course, its rhys’s turn next but you can have the one after him.” he said with a laugh as he stepped closer to you. your feelings for azriel were getting worse. it was an innocent crush at first but now… he’s all you could think about. your heart was basically beating out of your chest, your chest almost brushing against yours, you could feel the warmth of his body spreading over yours.

he was pressing against you now as he leaned down, you watched him as his face made it to yours, you were so eager to kiss him but instead he brushes his lips against your ear to whisper, “goodnight sweetheart, ill see you tomorrow,” as he gripped the doorknob behind you and opened the door for you. he leans back and gives you a huge smile as you step back into your apartment, mostly in shock at the way his body felt against yours. you smile back at him before whispering back, “goodnight azriel.” and shutting your door.

azriel is still in front of your door, a few moments longer than he should been after you were in your apartment. he shakes his head with disappointment in himself as he finally walks away. he was so centimeters from your lips and just couldn’t do it. what if you weren’t into him? he didn’t want to press your boundaries, he needed to know this was reciprocated before he did anything.

as much as he wanted to go back there and knock on your door until you opened it, so he could pick you up in his arms, carry you to your bed and fuck you like it was the last night in the world, he just could not.

at least… not yet.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

you don’t even know what time is it now as you all sat outside on the patio behind the house. it overlooked the huge, dark lake with trees covering every inch that surrounded you, not another house in sight. it was incredibly peaceful as you sat on the swinging bench in the corner with azriel, your legs over his lap as you both held drinks in your hand. the sky lit up with stairs as you looked around at your friends talking amongst themselves. you guys spent the day playing drinking and card games. playing cards against humanity with the inner circle was truly a remarkable time. feyre and rhys made homemade pizzas for dinner and they were amazing. you guys laughed for hours and now out on the deck, everyone else sat in chairs around the fire pit as you guys passed a few joints around.

azriel was laughing at whatever cassian said along with rhys while feyre and mor chatted, she showed up halfway one of your card games. amren was nesta sat in the chair next to the bench you and azriel were sitting on as you both sipped on glasses of red wine, talking about the last smutty books you were reading.

as you spoke to her, you couldn’t help by getting distracted at azriel holding the bottom half of your leg with his hand as they rested of his lap while the other one left a glass of whatever they were drinking now. he was just barely moving it back and forth but god it sent chills through your body, it doesn’t help that nests speaking about whatever book she was reading lately as you focused back on what she was saying, trying to get the thought of him touching you farther up out of your mind.

“the slowburn was top tier,” nesta said to you giving you a wink as she sipped her wine, “but oh my god the way they fucked,” letting out a frustrated groan, she shook her head as you both laughed.

“yeah nes, just wait until the sequel, if you thought that was good… you’re in a for treat.” you wiggled your eyebrows at her and laughed. you hear azriel laugh next to you and turn your head towards him. drunk you wants to kick everyone to their rooms and take him, here and now… but alas you’re stuck just staring at the beautiful man in front of you. the way his muscles flex when he laughs, and the way his chest moves. his tattoos peek out of the collar of his shirt and all you wanna do is hold him in your arms.

an hour goes by hanging out by the fire before everyone else else heads to their rooms, leaving you and azriel swinging on the bench smoking another joint. he blows the smoke out in a laugh as you guys talked about the last episode of parks and rec you guys watched. you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of the weekend with him. it just felt a little too natural.

“oh my god duke silver… i just cant,” you laughed as he handed you the joint. azriel laughed, “ron swanson is the best part.” your heart starts beating faster as his hand is now actively rubbing up and down. this bench was surprisingly comfortable but

“along with april,” azriel said and you couldn’t help but agree, they just really are. you hit the joint a few times and pass it back. “okay az, i’m tired now,” you look at him with a small smile on your face. “okay let’s go,” he said with no hesitation. you let out a little laugh and move your legs off his lap, instancing losing the warm of his legs and hands on you.

you guys head into the house and azriel grabbed your bags to carry them up to the 2nd floor of the house, you guys walk down a hallway to the end and he stops in front of the door on right. “here this one is mine and that one,” he said pointing to the one directly across from his, “is yours.” he smiled at you before you turn and open your door as he opened his.

you grabbed your suitcase and carried it into the room and shut the door. you move and find the light switch. locating it, you switch it up and look around the room in front of you. only to find mor asleep on the bed. you quietly groan, out of exhaustion, drinking all day on vacation really takes it out on you. you aren’t close enough with mor so you cant just slide in next to her, so now you’re stuck with your last option.

azriel.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

immediately after entering the room, azriel took a seat on the edge of the bed. his hands still warm from rubbing them on your legs as you sat next to him the whole time. he looked at them, the scars were hard to deal with but never once it did bother you. but they bothered him for some reason, old insecurities and harsh memories all wrapped in something he has to live with everyday.

when his hands are on you, it’s a different story. it’s something he never wants to stop doing. he’s mesmerized by you entirely. he’s in the midst of his thoughts about you when he hears a low knock on the room to his room. he stands up and opens it.

seeing you standing outside his door in the dimly lit hallway, suitcase next to you, hand up about to knock again. he sees you jump at the way he opened the door so fast, not expecting him to be there already.

“hey princess, did you get lost?” azriel said as he leaned on his shoulder against the doorway, a smirk across his tired face.

“mor is asleep in my bed…” you grumble, “can i sleep with you?” you ask him.

a millions are in his head at once. mainly the last time you guys had slept next to each other, the night that he beat the shit out of that guy for touching you, the warm of your body against his, it was like that the entire time. something that he wanted forever. he wanted you in his bed, right now.

with his mind crowded, azriel just nods as he picks up your bag handle and brings your suitcase in the room, shutting the door and locking it behind you after you stepped in.

“thank you az,” you tell him sheepishly.

“you didn’t even have to ask,” he says smiling at you, he points to the other door in the room, “there’s the bathroom so you can get ready for bed.”

“thank you, i’ll be back.” you tell him as you walk towards the bathroom. he watches the door shut behind you, he needs to get himself together before you come out, the thoughts he’s been having all day about you, clothed and naked, where consuming him, yet again.

he realized that you didn’t take anything to the bathroom when he hears the sink turn on. before it’s off, he moves to his own suitcase and grabs a large t shirt he brought and a pair of boxers for you to wear, he loved when you smelled like him. he grabbed out a pair of gray sweatpants for him to change into.

he hears the bathroom door open and looks over to you stepping out. you give him a smile as he watches you walk to suitcase next to his. you pulled out your toiletries bag and were about to pull out your pajamas before azriel had to cut in.

“here you can wear these,” azriel told you, he felt his face grow red, cursing himself for not holding himself together. “thank you az.” his gaze moves down to your lips as you smile at him, taking the clothes from his hand, he feels your fingers brush his. he watches as you turn back around and head to the bathroom to change for bed.

azriel took this time to change into his own sweatpants while he waited his turn for the bathroom. he connected his phone to the tv and put whatever episode of park and recs you guys left off on, leaving it on for background noise and he turned off the light, leaving the room with a small glowing lamp in the corner by the door.

azriel watches the tv from the edge of the bed as he sees you from the corner of his eye come out of the bathroom. dressed in the clothes he gave you, his heart started beating faster.

“i feel like i’ve said thank you a thousand times but thank you again az,” he heard you say as you walked towards him. he looked up to meet your gaze as you stood, almost in between his thighs as he rested his hands on them, “thank you for bringing me here, this place is fucking beautiful- i can’t wait for tomorrow, you’re amazing az thank you,” he feels your hand reach up and hold his cheek, rubbing it thoughtfully over his sculpted cheekbone.

he couldn’t help the way his cheeks heated up under your gaze, “thank you for coming with me, this will probably be a weekend you will never forget,” azriel said with a nervous chuckle, rubbing the sides of your hips.

azriel heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth and go to the bathroom before you guys go to bed. when he comes back, he sees you in the blankets like it’s the most normal thing you’ve ever done. the comforter is pulled up to your chin as your eyes linger on the bathroom door as azriel stepped out.

he moves toward the bed and walks around to the opposite side of the bed, sliding in next to you before he lays on his side, facing your back. the show plays in the background as he watches you turn to face him.

azriel lifts his arm and brushes some of your fallen hair behind your ear as he spoke, “i’m glad we’re here.”

“me too az,” you say quietly.

his hand rests on your cheek before azriel watches you move to cuddle into his chest, just wanting you to be closer to him. he wraps his arm around your body, pulling you closer into his body as he kisses your forehead.

“goodnight princess.”

“goodnight az.”

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

thank you all for the support, love and feedback! here’s the taglist for this! thank you guys so much! comments and feedback are always appreciated

@purple-haired-faerie @thespencerhastings-blog1 @scorpioriesling @kitsunetori @scooobies @elsie-bells @nickishadow139 @lilah-asteria

[penkura]

last forever [5/13]

Summary: Zoro only offered to marry you to keep you out of an arranged marriage with a man much older than you. You agreed with the caveat of ending it via annulment once you received word from your parents regarding the original engagement, despite your growing feelings for your close friend.

Pairing: Zoro x Fem!reader, mentioned Sanami later (like epilogue later so chill)

Warnings: Marriage of Convenience, Fake Marriage, referenced sex (waaaaaay later on), mutual pining, Zoro is bad at feelings but what's new there, eventual romance I promise, mention of past attempted assault (I'll warn in that chapter), creepy older dude later on

Note: Only three hours late, that's not so bad haha. I had fun with this one, adding in how our couple met, I was going to do it as a flashback but I couldn't get it to work in my head how I wanted, so it's here differently. I'm a little mean to Reader at the end, or, well, Zoro is, but he has his reasons. Things will be okay, I promise.

[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2] ● [Ch. 3] ● [Ch. 4]

Honestly, at this point, you shouldn’t be surprised at Zoro’s tendency to get badly injured from his own stupidity at times. Little Garden ended up being more than just an island you all passed through, with giants and more Baroque Works agents, you’d even been caught by Mr. 3 and nearly turned into a wax statue, joining Nami and Vivi shouting at Zoro that he was being an idiot with his threats to cut his own legs off at the ankle to fight the agents there.

You were relieved when Luffy and Usopp showed up, stopping your husband from doing anything ridiculous. Once the four of you had been freed and Sanji showed up, explaining where in the hell he’d been, you grabbed onto Zoro’s shirt, making him look at you while you give him a blank stare.

“…what?”

“Sit down. You need stitches. Again.”

Rolling his eyes, Zoro does listen to you, sitting down nearby the rest of your friends as they discuss your next course of action and Dory and Broggy offer to help you all leave. Vivi comes over and watches you as you stitch up Zoro’s ankles, looking impressed by your quick work and how you don’t even look a bit squeamish about it.

You just shrug when she comments.

“I’ve gotten used to it. This guy’s an idiot—”

“Hey.”

“—so I’ve had to learn to fix him up.”

Vivi laughs a bit and nods, seeming to understand. Once you’ve finished and out your small kit away, you just give Zoro a smile when he quietly thanks you, before you walk back over to the rest of your crew. You hang close to Sanji and it again causes a strange ache in Zoro’s chest, he has to bite his lip to make it stop.

You’ve started spending so much more time with your cook, he should be happy about it, maybe you’re starting to have feelings for Sanji. Some of your free time is now spent in the kitchen, if Zoro walks by he hears you laughing most of the time. The weird feeling in his chest moves to his stomach when he hears you, he’s still not sure if it’s annoyance at you and Sanji getting close or jealousy at the situation.

Shaking his head, Zoro pushes the feelings away and goes to join you all to leave.

What the hell is wrong with me?

+!+

When Nami comes down with a strange illness after you leave, leading to your crew trying to find an island with a doctor, you all take your turns watching over and caring for her. You hope and pray you all reach an island and find a doctor quickly, you don’t want to lose one of your best friends. The boys freaking out about it doesn’t help at all, leaving you and Vivi to really care for Nami and try to help her get better. Every second her fever doesn’t go down scares you, it’s worse if it’s gone up even a tiny bit.

You know nothing about medicine, it’s something your mother thought was useless for you to know. All you needed to know was how to bandage yourself or your future kids up, that’s it. She really treated you like you were made of glass at times, you always wondered if that was due to how late in her life you’d been born. Whatever the reason, you’re happy to help Nami right now, to try and make her feel better.

When you and Vivi switch off one night, instead of heading to bed like you should, you choose to go up to the crow’s nest where Zoro’s taken the first watch of the night. You stopped in the kitchen before heading up to bring something to drink with you, grabbing a coat on the way since you’re in a colder area right now.

Once you make it up the ladder, you poke your head in and give Zoro a smile when he looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

“What?”

“Wanna share a drink?”

You aren’t surprised when he seems to light up briefly at the mention of sake, nodding you over to sit by him, handing over the bottle you’d gotten from Sanji while you made yourself comfortable beside Zoro. You’re still not used to the burn of alcohol but still take a big a drink when Zoro hands the bottle to you, passing it back to him. The only reason you started drinking was because Zoro had bet you to do so on your eighteenth birthday, promising you he’d give you money if you did it, so you took a few shots that were given to you, quickly regretting it when you threw it all up outside the tavern you two had been in. He may have lost the bet but at least he was nice enough to hold your hair back and get you to your hotel room without much trouble, and you did get your money a few days later.

“I meant to thank you for the other day.”

“Huh?”

“In Loguetown when we ran into Elias,” Zoro barely looks at you, but you pay him no mind, instead watching the light snow fall against the midnight sky, “For not telling him the truth about, you know, us.”

Shrugging, Zoro takes another swig of drink, before offering it back to you which you decline.

“Wasn’t any reason to tell him. Don’t need him telling your parents the truth.”

“He wouldn’t have, but I get what you mean.”

Zoro nods, partially believing you just from the one meeting with your brother and the things you’ve told him. You were a surprise to your parents, coming along when Elias was ten-years-old, your parents in their late thirties and not planning to have another child. Elias was enthralled with you once you were born, he’d protected you from everything, especially once you turned fifteen and your parents started to sift through possible suitors. According to you, he was pissed when your parents chose someone even older than him, promising he’d never leave you alone with the man and eventually helping you run away in the dead of night.

You two were close despite your age difference.

“You know,” you draw Zoro back to paying attention to you when you speak again, “Taking care of Nami reminds me of how you took care of me when we first met. Remember?”

Your smile as you ask makes him feel like his stomach is doing flips, it must be the alcohol doing that he thinks, but he still nods a bit.

How could he forget that?

You were unexpected to him too, running into a rundown bar so quickly you’d slammed into Zoro, making him grab your arms to keep you upright as you tried to apologize but your mouth felt like it was full of cotton, you don’t even know if actual words came out. You were burning up from a fever and passed out while Zoro kept you upright. The bar owner was nice enough to put you up in a room while you recovered, and he still isn’t sure why he did it, but Zoro took care of you the entire time. Johnny and Yosaku had been there at the same time, helping out by bringing any medicine they thought would help, getting a doctor to come check on you only to confirm you had pneumonia but that you’d be fine after a few more days of medicine and rest.

Once you were better, you were so grateful to the three men that you offered to give them whatever money you had on you, which they all rejected, you definitely needed it more. You kept the truth about why you were running into a bar in your state to yourself, eventually making an offer to Zoro only that you could travel with and help him, but he'd only agree to that if you beat him in a small sparring match, he’d noticed your sword right away.

Of course you lost, but you both had a great time, to the point Zoro let you tag along the last year and a half, he helped you improve your skills and you’re still so grateful to him for everything.

The second you shiver form the cold you’re about to go back down to sleep, before Zoro moves his arm to open the blanket around him and nod you over again.

Smiling again, you scoot over and sit right up beside him, practically flush against his side when he brings his arm back down around you. You’re both used to this, used to coming to each other for simple things like warmth or food, even with the rest of your crew. It’s leftover from when it was just the two of you.

Zoro doesn’t want this to go further past your friendship and being crewmates, not now. Neither of you can or should be thinking about romance, that’s Sanji’s job.

So why does he feel disappointed when you finally go down to the bunks?

+!+

After leaving Drum Island with Nami well and Chopper aboard as your doctor, you’ve started to have a tiny second shadow following you around. The reindeer taking a liking to you right away, starting to follow you around the ship after you’d given him the initial tour. He's started staying close to you and showing you how to make medicine and dress wounds, teaching you more than you ever could’ve imagined knowing.

Chopper has also started bringing you with him to nap with Zoro, your swordsman almost rejecting it at first, before Chopper pulls you to sit beside him while your doctor lays across Zoro’s lap. It makes you laugh as Zoro tries not to have any eye contact with you. Can’t let you see him being all soft and stuff about Chopper now.

You don’t say anything about it, especially once you all make it to Nanohana and do your shopping to find desert and heat safe outfits, though you feel like you’re going to suffocate at times, you’ll be glad to avoid a severe sunburn or heat stroke.

Then you all met Luffy’s big brother Ace.

You remember seeing him in the paper before back home, briefly, the thought in your mind that wow, he’s attractive but it’s not like you’d ever meet him.

The universe laughs at you constantly, you swear, especially when it seems like Ace starts to flirt with you as he joins you all for a bit on your journey to Erumalu. You feel like you have a never-ending blush on your face and it makes Ace laugh when you shove his arm after he says something to you about how shy you seem.

“You’re so cute! I can’t believe you’re on my brother’s crew!”

“Stoooop, you’re making me blush even more!”

You do laugh alongside Ace, he’s easy to be around. Comfortable and almost familiar, you’d say. It reminds you of time spent with Elias, though, without the flirty comments. Ace throws an arm around your shoulders, trying to keep his voice down even though your crewmates are all over the place at this point either partying or sleeping nearby, in Zoro’s case.

“So, you got someone special to you or do I have a chance?”

You hum, pretending to think before giving Ace a smile after you take a sip of your fancy drink Sanji made for you girls.

“Sorry, I got my eyes on someone else.”

“A shot to the heart!” Ace throws his head back as you laugh, double checking that Zoro’s still asleep in case Ace asks you for details, “Just don’t say it’s Luffy, I couldn’t handle losing out to my brother.”

“No, no,” Shaking your head, you watch Ace as he seems to perk back up knowing it’s not your captain you’ve got the hots for, “Definitely not Luffy.”

“Is it a secret then? Promise I won’t tell nobody.”

Ace leans on close to you, your face still warm from either the sun or your blushing you aren’t sure, but the few glances you take towards Zoro tell him the answer, making him grin.

“Ooh him huh? Yeah, I can see it.”

“S-See what??”

“You guys, together. Does he not like you back?”

You wish you hadn’t been so obvious, but you shrug a bit, shake your head, then groan and hide your face behind your drink.

“I…don’t know…he’s not really the romance type.”

Nodding a little, Ace keeps his arm around you and pulls away just a bit, he’s probably making you more nervous that you already were by being so close to your face. He hasn’t known you for more than a day at this point, but he’s been able to see you and Zoro seemingly drawn to each other most of the time, or Chopper does it for shade or to be carried by one of you because of the heat.

Maybe your face is warn more from a blush than from the sun after all.

“I bet he’ll come around. You’re cute, he’d be lucky to have you.”

You almost drop your glass at that.

When Ace leaves you all the next morning, you feel sad at the fact he’s going on his own again, but when Luffy says you’ll all see him again, you agree with a smile. Zoro watches you, wondering how you’d gotten so close to Ace in such a short time, but he realizes that’s just you.

Despite your past with your parents, you trust far too easily at times. Granted, Ace is a good guy, but Zoro worried that it’s going to get you, all of you, into trouble one day.

Though, it’s more likely to be because of Luffy than you.

+!+

Alabasta is finally free from Crocodile a few days later, thanks to your crew and Vivi’s work. You’ve all been granted stay at the palace to recuperate, all of you sustaining major injuries though some were starting to heal faster than others. Luffy spent a couple days sleeping but was now up and ready to party as Alabasta celebrated their freedom.

Your worry for Zoro at the time had kept you attached to his side for the most part, latching onto his arm enough that he’d gone from flinching at the contact to quietly removing your hands from him, he doesn’t want you that attached to him, you get it, kind of.

It still hurts when he does it, Sanji sees it on your face more than anyone else. Zoro had protected you at points during the attacks going on, until you all separated to battle different members of Baroque Works, you ending up trying to stop several of the fights between Alabastan army members and the rebel forces, a few of them not taking that kindly and turning their weapons towards you. Most of your wounds were stabbings or slashes, a deep one on your abdomen that Chopper fixed up no problem.

After you’ve all healed enough to join in the celebrations, that’s just what you do, even with the Navy around. Sanji drags you along to dance with him, trying to keep you distracted from Zoro, though you gravitate towards him anyway. It’s like in Cocoyashi, you just lean against the wall Zoro’s placed himself at, giving a smile while you talk to him, brushing your arm against his whether by accident or on purpose. You’ve brought him another drink too, it makes Sanji scrunch his face in annoyance, only because it seems like Zoro just doesn’t care, like he’s that oblivious to your crush on him.

And maybe he is, the blond isn’t sure, even when you look a bit dejected and return to his side for a just moment, to tell him you’re going back to the palace to up to rest for a bit. You’ve gotten tired from the party and need a few minutes. Sanji promises to come get you after a little while, which you thank him for as you leave.

He has a half a mind to tell Zoro to go with you, but by the time he looks back, the swordsman is gone.

+!+

“Why are you up here?”

You hum a but, turning and giving Zoro a smile. Yes it was late, normally you'd be asleep, but Alabasta was still awake, having a party to celebrate the end of the their war and the rain returning to the country. You had chosen to return to the palace, watching your crewmates outside the window. Luffy and Usopp were celebrating in disguises to keep the Navy off your tails, Nami was laughing with Vivi, Chopper and Karoo nearby asleep, and you haven't seen Sanji or even Zoro until now, when your favorite swordsman found you.

“Just…wanted to rest a bit.”

Understanding, Zoro nods a bit, leaning against the wall beside you, arms crossed over his chest while he watches you.

You know that he heard you talking to Ace when he was with you all, telling him you've developed feelings for your legal husband. Honestly he's had his suspicions for a while, mainly after you all left Drum Island and you acted so odd at times, but he never wanted to confront you about it before.

It was harmless, a crush didn't mean you really believed the two of you would be a couple or anything. Despite your actually being married, since it wasn't meant to last forever, he figured he'd leave you be and maybe your feelings would fade over time. You spent a lot of time with Sanji, Zoro fully expects at one point for you to bring the annulment papers to him, saying you liked the blond or that your parents finally responded to you.

Neither of those have happened, and seeing your constant smiles and little blushes at him, Zoro feels the need to say something about it.

"Listen."

Zoro sounds so serious you can't help but sit up straighter, keeping your gaze on the still partying city outside the palace, but you nod to let him know you're listening.

"Whatever…this is between us," he's staring right at you, but you don't dare to look at him, knowing what he's going to say, "it's not going any further than our being crewmates. Whatever feelings you may have, I'm not returning them any time soon. We need to focus on our goals and helping Luffy, not romance. Got it?"

Despite the ache in your chest at that, you nod, the softest agreement coming out of your mouth in return. You knew this was coming, from the way Zoro started to distance from you after your time on Drum Island and the recent events in Alabasta, you could tell something was up and you guess this was it. Zoro was trying to put a stop to your feelings for him, he couldn't be caught playing romance with you right now, maybe never.

Of course, even with your half-hearted agreement, you know feelings can't be squashed so easily. You don't want to stop them, but Zoro wants you to so you can focus on your goals. You weren't going to become a world renowned swordswoman if you were busy focusing on a relationship with someone. Zoro would never become the greatest swordsman in the world if he was focused on you.

When he finally leaves you alone, you can't help yourself and the quietest tears start. You knew this was going to happen, Zoro doesn't like you back, he’s only still married to you because you haven't heard a thing from your parents, but damn it still hurts to basically get a rejection like this.

It feels worse when Sanji comes into the room a few minutes later, having kept his promise on bringing you back down to the party with him, and he knows you've been crying without having to see your face. He wants to go after and curse out Zoro for making you cry, whatever the reason, but chooses to quietly pull you into a hug instead, telling you that you don't have to say anything, but he's here for you.

Honestly, having Sanji around, someone who was willing to listen to you and just let you cry over something that felt stupid at the time, you felt like things would be okay after some time.

Even when he says he'll kill Zoro for making you cry once you tell him why.

[hellsitedotcom]

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*·˚ PRETEND IT'S THE FIRST TIME ft. Moze *·˚

words: ~4k

This is a "continuation" of those First Kiss headcanons I made a while ago! [Linked in my pinned post] I literally lost my mind with this, and I'm unsure how I feel about it, but I've spent too long on it to just...not post it. [Also on AO3]

warnings/info: first part of the chapter features Guinaifen as your friend; I don't think any warnings necessary? maybe some angst, but I don't want what really qualifies as angst. [Is it obvious that I never post my writing and have no idea how to tag it?]

English isn't my native language!

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‘’Hello? Are you even listening to me?’’ 

Torn from your thoughts when someone suddenly started waving a hand in front of your face, you blinked in surprise before glancing over at the woman walking beside you, her expression a mixture of frustration and confusion. ‘’I feel like I’ve been talking to myself for the last hour,’’ Guinaifen huffed, crossing her arms while waiting for an explanation from you, ‘’Did you even catch any of the things I said?’’

‘’I’m sorry, Gui,’’ you sighed, offering her an apologetic smile before straightening up, ‘’I was just…thinking about something.’’ That was one way to explain it. You had been thinking about said ‘’something’’ for the past couple of days, and it had become apparent to anyone with a functioning pair of eyes. Even your colleagues at work had commented on your absentmindedness, given how clumsy and forgetful it had made you since…that day.

Next to you, Guinaifen shook her head, though there was no ill-intend in her reaction, ‘’I’ve noticed that much. I’m telling you, you need to work less. The stress is probably just getting to you.’’ ‘’When I picked you up this morning, I had your neighbors come up to me to ask if you were okay,’’ she sighed, staring at you, ‘’He said you haven’t left your apartment for anything but work in days. What’s going on?’’

You weren’t sure yourself, you thought. Since your transfer to the Yaoqing, your life had actually improved tremendously. You couldn’t remember the last time you were that excited and happy on the Luofu, and you hadn’t mourned your old life since. Yet recently, you felt like you were again stuck in that same everyday routine you had dreamed of escaping from back on the other flagship. And all because of one dumb, intrusive decision.

‘’I don’t know,’’ you sighed, hoping your friend wouldn’t catch the lie, ‘’It’s not work, I promise. I’ve never had a job I loved that much.’’ ‘’Maybe my subconsciousness is trying to tell me something,’’ you suggested, shrugging, ‘’I mean, it’s been a while since I was on the Luofu. Maybe I’m homesick without realizing it.’’ 

At that, the woman beside you just chuckled, throwing an arm around you to pull you into a side hug, ‘’Well, see what happens when you never visit! Huohuo and the others miss you.’’ Much to your relief, Guinaifen didn’t notice the lie, or at least, she didn’t call you out if she did. Instead, she began recalling recent stories from the Luofu as if trying to help your alleged ‘’homesickness’’. 

‘’You know, I’m sure even the General would appreciate seeing you again,’’ she hummed as you made your way back to your apartment, ‘’Actually, I was hoping to drag Sushang and Huohuo along with me, but that didn’t really work out. That’s on me, though. I should’ve planned it better.’’ 

You chuckled as you continued listening to her, this time determined not to get distracted again as you watched her. Something about the woman’s optimism and endless energy helped lift your mood, silencing the overbearing thoughts in your head, though another emotion threatened to plague you now: Guilt. Keeping secrets from your close friends was never easy, but how were you supposed to explain to her what had happened? 

By the time you arrived at the alley leading to your apartment, you felt lighter, the best you had in days. ‘’Anyway, I’m sure Sushang will want to tell you herself,’’ Guinaifen huffed, stepping in front of you, ‘’You really need to visit us soon. We need to get the group back together again! And don’t tell me Feixiao won’t let you leave!’’

‘’Well, I’ve not really talked to her in a while,’’ you admitted sheepishly, avoiding your friend’s eyes. ‘’But,’’ you quickly added, hoping to distract from that topic, ‘’I’ll see what I can do, okay? I can’t promise you anything, though.’’

You breathed a sigh of relief when the woman didn't question your words, merely rolling her eyes before she continued talking about yet another thing on her mind. Watching her head toward your apartment, you hesitated to follow when the sudden feeling of being watched made your skin crawl. Is someone there?

A glance over your shoulder toward the empty street behind you didn’t help calm your nerves, yet before you could look around any further, Guinaifen’s voice called out to you, ‘’And you’re not paying attention again. Seriously, what’s going on with you?’’

There it was again, that guilt plaguing you. You checked the street behind you one last time before walking over to your friend, an apologetic expression on your face. ‘’I’m sorry,’’ you sighed, fiddling with your hands, ‘’I just- had this feeling someone was watching us. I didn’t mean to ignore you.’’

‘’Why would someone be watching us?’’ the woman huffed with a raised brow, ‘’Besides, even if someone was watching us, why care? It’s not like we’re breaking any rules.’’ ‘’Are you sure that everything’s alright?’’ she insisted, her usually relaxed expression now serious. 

‘’No- I mean, yes, I- Fuck,’’ you just groaned, dragging your hands down your face, ‘’I don’t know. I’m not even sure how to explain it. It’s ridiculous, really.’’ Before she could ask any further questions, you pushed past her toward your home, ‘’It’s really not that important. I just made a dumb mistake, and it’s kind of been haunting me ever since.’’

Guinaifen was far from convinced as she caught up to you, blocking your way, ‘’Oh, come on now! I’ve seen you make dozens of mistakes before. You never act this way because of a stupid mistake! Spill it, what happened?’’ 

‘’I made a mistake in a conversation,’’ you tensely elaborated, wrapping your arms around yourself, ‘’I…said the wrong thing, and I’ve not had the chance to fix it yet. H- They’ve been avoiding me since then, I guess.’’ Or maybe you’ve been avoiding him, no? Suddenly, the feeling of being watched made you even more nervous. Was he watching you?

Your friend perked up at your response, her interest piqued, ‘’What do you mean, you said the wrong thing? How bad of a thing could you have possibly said?’’ Oh, guilt was a beautiful feeling, wasn’t it? Especially with how strong it was growing the more you talked to Guinaifen. 

‘’Well,’’ you struggled to find an answer, unsure how to continue building on your lie as your face turned red, ‘’I- urgh, fuck. I didn’t really say something wrong, you know. I…did something wrong? I made a dumb, intrusive decision-’’

‘’Oh my god,’’ the woman interrupted, her eyes wide, ‘’You kissed someone.’’ 

‘’How did you deduce that from one sentence?’’

‘’...I didn’t. I just thought it would be a funny reaction,’’ Guinaifen smirked, winking at you before the realization settled in, ‘’Wait, you kissed someone?! Who?!’’

‘’Keep your voice down!’’ you whisper-yelled, covering her mouth with your hand, ‘’Fucks sake, Gui. I don’t need the entire Yaoqing to know about it!’’ After making sure she wouldn’t start screaming again, you took a step back and sighed, ‘’He’s a good friend. We were…hanging out, I guess, and I got caught up in the moment and had this intrusive thought to just…yeah, and now I’ve not seen him since then.’’

‘’Oh. Oh wow,’’ the woman seemed at a loss for words, processing the information you just shared, ‘’I mean, uhm. Well, have you tried texting him?’’ 

‘’Seriously?’’ ‘’What?’’ she huffed defensively, pouting, ‘’I’ve never had that happen to me. I’m a little lost right now, okay?’’

‘’Well, you’re not the only one,’’ you muttered under your breath, walking toward your apartment door, ‘’I was hoping that maybe he told Feixiao about it, but she doesn’t seem to know anything. Jiaoqiu’s been acting like he knows something, but- yeah.’’ 

At that, Guinaifen’s mouth fell open, ‘’Wait. I need you to repeat what you just said.’’ Yet, before you could, the woman herself did it, ‘’You were hoping that he told Feixiao? As in, the General? You kissed the General’s friend?!’’

‘’Technically, he’s her personal Shadow Guard,’’ you admitted under your breath, wincing when Guinaifen screamed.

‘’What?!’’ 

‘’I told you to keep your voice down!’’

‘’How do you expect me to keep my voice down after telling me all this?!’’ she whisper-yelled, flailing her hands, ‘’You just- You kissed the General’s personal Shadow Guard?!’’

Well, at least you didn’t feel guilty anymore. You held your hand up to stop the woman from rambling, taking a deep breath before answering, ‘’Can we do this tomorrow, please? I promise I’ll tell you everything, okay? But right now, I’m just getting tired.’’

Despite not being satisfied with your answer, Guinaifen agreed with a deflated groan, ‘’Alright, fine. But I get to tell Sushang and the others-’’

‘’Absolutely not,’’ you scoffed with a raised brow, a warning in your eyes, ‘’I don’t need the entire Xianzhou Alliance to know about this, okay? I’m serious, Gui.’’ ‘’I need you to promise me that you won’t be talking about it with anyone, okay?’’ you insisted, internally already expecting the worst.

But, to your surprise, the woman nodded slowly, ‘’Alright, alright, you have my word. Only because I love you so much!’’ ‘’But that means you’ll have to tell me everything tomorrow, alright?’’ she countered, walking up to you, ‘’I need all the details, understood?’’

‘’Understood,’’ you sighed, struggling to hide your nervousness as you embraced her, ‘’Come on, you should get back to your hotel room. It’s getting late.’’ 

‘’I’ll see you tomorrow then?’’

‘’Yeah,’’ you muttered, a hand resting on your apartment’s doorknob, ‘’See you tomorrow, sunshine.’’ With that, you watched her disappear down the alley before unlocking your front door and slipping inside your apartment.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

‘’Fuck,’’ you groaned, falling back against the wooden door. Well, today didn’t go quite as planned, did it? But then, did any of your recent days? After everything, today was still one of your better days since screwing up your relationship with-

‘’Moze? ’’ 

A little stunned, you blinked, hoping you were just imagining things. Yet, when the man’s silhouette didn’t disappear from your doorway, a nervous chuckle escaped your lips, ‘’What are you doing here? How did you even get inside in the first place?’’ 

‘’Through your balcony door,’’ the man calmly replied, watching you from the shadows of the hallway, ‘’You forgot to lock it.’’

‘’I- And you just decided to let yourself in?’’ you muttered in disbelief, straightening up as you made your way toward him, ‘’How long have you been waiting for me?’’ In the dim light, you could barely make out anything but his eyes, violet orbs watching your every move. 

The man just stood there, seemingly indifferent to the fact that he just trespassed on your property. ‘’Not that long,’’ he just replied, his expression obscured by shadows, ‘’Feixiao told me that you had visitors, so I figured you’d be home somewhat late. I think we got here around the same time.’’

‘’Well, that’s- okay,’’ you sighed before shaking your head and meeting his gaze again, ‘’Listen, I- Can you just give me a minute real quick? I need some water.’’ Today really feels like one big joke, you thought to yourself while pushing past him, careful not to touch him as you headed toward the kitchen, ‘’Do you want anything?’’

The man soundlessly followed after you, his presence unfortunately doing the opposite of offering you comfort, ‘’No, thank you. I don’t want to inconvenience you even further.’’ ‘’And I apologize for not informing you of my visit,’’ he muttered almost hesitantly, leaning against your kitchen wall, ‘’I didn't think of it. I’m sorry.’’

‘’Don’t rack your brains over it,’’ you dismissed his concern, pouring yourself a cup of water, ‘’I mean, I haven’t cleaned the place in days, but you'll have to deal with that now.’’ ‘’Besides,’’ you hummed, taking a sip of water, ‘’I’m sure you’ll gladly help me clean up if I ask nicely enough, no?’’ Is this really the right time for some lighthearted joking? Well, you certainly hoped it would at least ease the awkwardness.

Moze, bless his soul, just furrowed his brows, meeting your gaze, ‘’If you need me to, I can help. I don’t mind.’’ 

‘’Is that why you’re here?’’ you hesitantly asked, turning to face him, ‘’Just for some small talk? I mean, I do appreciate the visit, but it doesn’t usually warrant you breaking into my home.’’ There was a part of you genuinely hoping he’d just share some random information with you before leaving again, but deep down, you knew where this conversation would eventually lead. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have practically avoided each other for the past few days.

And, as expected, Moze confirmed your suspicion. ‘’No, I was hoping we could talk about what happened,’’ he explained, your nervosity growing with each word, ‘’Jiaoqiu thought it might be the best course of action.’’

‘’So, he knows?’’ you hesitantly inquired, tapping your finger on the kitchen counter, ‘’I mean, that we- that I- fuck, Moze, I’m so bloody sorry.’’ You stepped away from the counter, wrapping your arms around yourself as the words uncontrollably spilled from your lips, ‘’I should’ve apologized a lot earlier, I know, but I was just- bloody scared of your reaction.’’

‘’I shouldn’t have kissed you,’’ you sighed, unable to meet his gaze, ‘’I- I’m sorry I made things awkward. I wasn’t thinking, I just-’’ ‘’I should’ve said something first anyway, instead of just- doing it without warning,’’ you continued, waving your hand around, ‘’I don’t know why I did it, okay? I just- fuck.’’

The man merely watched you, waiting for you to finish before gently interrupting your rambling, ‘’I’m not angry.’’ ‘’Not to mention that I didn’t act any better,’’ he reminded you, making you stop in your tracks, ‘’I just left you on that rooftop without saying a word. Jiaoqiu chewed me out for it.’’

‘’I mean, I kissed you without your consent,’’ you muttered, your hands dropping to your sides, ‘’You had every right to just…up and leave. You’re not at any fault here.’’

‘’Well, Jiaoqiu thinks differently,’’ Moze spoke, pushing himself off the wall, ‘’He said I should’ve talked to you sooner.’’ You watched him walk around the kitchen island, keeping a respectful distance from you, ‘’Though, he did call us both idiots.’’

You chuckled, though the sound more hysterical than you intended, ‘’He’s not wrong, is he? I mean- I did kind of fuck that up. I really should’ve just- said something instead of expecting you to do so. I’m sorry, I- suck at this stuff.’’ 

‘’I think we both know I’m not the best at conversations either,’’ he replied, and for a split-second, you thought you caught him smiling at you, ‘’Maybe we should let Jiaoqiu and your friend do this for us.’’

‘’Absolutely not, that’s a horrible idea,’’ you interrupted, the thought alone making you opposed to the idea, ‘’I’d never hear the end of it.’’ ‘’Do you, uh, think Jiaoqiu told Feixiao?’’ you wondered, glancing over at him, ‘’I mean, I doubt he would do it, but you know him better than I do.’’

Moze was quiet for a moment, allowing you to move a little closer to him, ‘’Admittedly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did tell the General, but I trust him enough not to until this is all over. You don’t need to worry about that.’’ 

‘’Oh, I’ll worry regardless,’’ you sighed, rubbing your temples, ‘’I’ve realized I’m really good at that. Worrying, overthinking, the whole thing.’’ ‘’I’ve had people at work come to me these past days to make sure I was alright,’’ there was a self-deprecating tone to your words as you recounted the past days, ‘’And earlier, Gui told me that some of my neighbors approached her to ask about my well-being. Worrying was the only thing I was doing since, you know.’’

In the dimly lit room, you couldn’t make out Moze’s expression as he watched you. Then, unexpectedly, he spoke with a gentleness you had never heard from him before, ‘’I didn’t know this was affecting you so much.’’

Your eyes widened at his words, tearing your gaze from the floor to meet his. For a second, a mixture of fear and uncertainty crossed your face before you collected yourself, clearing your throat, ‘’Well, I thought I screwed up after you just left.’’ Then, you looked away again, your voice more quiet, ‘’I guess I was terrified of losing you.’’

The silence that followed was unbearable to you, a throwback to those nerve-wracking minutes right after you had your first kiss. Internally, you were cursing yourself out, reprimanding yourself for being so open with Moze, but could you really blame yourself?

‘’Can you please say something?’’ you whispered hesitantly, wrapping your arms around yourself, nails digging into the skin of your upper arms, ‘’I’m getting a sense of déjà vu.’’ 

‘’I’m sorry,’’ the man apologized, the gentleness still there, ‘’I should’ve said something back then. I- I guess I panicked. I’ve never-’’ He fell silent before finishing the sentence, pulling his hood down to obscure his face. 

‘’I- I didn’t mean to put you in that position,’’ you quietly muttered, the grip on your arms weakening, ‘’I don’t know why I- There were so many times before that where I was in perfect control of my thoughts and actions, but that day? I can’t even explain it.’’

‘’You wanted to kiss me before?’’ Maybe you should learn when to shut up, no? Moze was already staring at you when you looked up, a storm raging in his violet eyes. 

Hesitantly, you shrugged, taking a deep breath before elaborating, ‘’I guess I did. Do- Do you remember the last Wardance? When…Hoolay escaped.’’ After Moze nodded, you continued, ‘’After everything was over, after I finally found you, I just- yeah. I think that was the first time I wanted to kiss you.’’ 

There it was again: The unbearable silence. Maybe you really shouldn’t admit all these things so openly . But, catching you by surprise in the process, Moze didn’t let it stretch this time, his voice growing unsteadier with each word, ‘’Why didn’t you do it?’’

‘’I- I didn’t think it would’ve been the right moment for it,’’ you muttered with furrowed brows, gesturing around with your hand as if to emphasize your point, ‘’I mean, you were all injured, not to mention the entire Borisin crisis. I didn’t want to add to your problems.’’

‘’You’re never a problem to me,’’ the man replied, straightening up, ‘’I might not be the best at showing it, but I care about you deeply.’’ ‘’Otherwise, I wouldn’t have kissed you back that day, don't you think?’’ he added, his voice quieter.

For a moment, you thought your heart would jump out of your chest, the beating drowning out all the noise around you as you processed his words. He did kiss you back, didn’t he? ‘’I figured maybe you just- I don’t know, had a moment of weakness?’’ you rambled, growing more nervous again, ‘’I mean, I didn't- I know you kissed me back, but I didn’t think it meant anything, I guess.’’

‘’You…thought it didn’t mean anything?’’ ‘’I was panicking, okay!’’ you argued defensively, ‘’I mean, you just disappeared without a word after that, remember? How did you think I’d react?’’ 

Moze didn’t have an answer for that, watching you silently while you continued to ramble, ‘’I’m not blaming you, I swear. I just- there wasn’t really a positive way in which I could’ve reacted to the situation, you know? How would you have reacted if you had been in my shoes?’’

Once again, no answer. Admittedly, you wouldn’t have one either if you were in his shoes. Well, and that’s that on it being an awkward situation. ‘’I feel like I’m just making this worse, aren’t I?’’ you muttered, offering him a weak smile, ‘’I’m sorry. Again. I don’t think I can apologize enough for causing- well, all of this.’’

‘’Did the kiss mean something to you?’’

Moze’s interruption caught you off-guard, eyes widening in surprise. Well, you've already admitted to wanting to kiss him a handful of times before. Confessing your feelings can't possibly lead to a worse outcome, right? ...Right? Truth be told, you weren't really sure what outcome this entire conversation was heading toward anyway, so you might as well be completely honest with him now.

Still, it took you a moment to reply, afraid of being this vulnerable. ‘’I wouldn’t have kissed you if it didn’t,’’ you hesitantly admitted, looking away, ‘’I...care about you, Moze. A lot more than I probably should. More than normal friends should.’’

‘’I think I realized even before the Wardance, but I just- hoped it’ll go away,’’ you chuckled, the sound hollow, ‘’And when it didn’t, I just kept hoping. Which obviously failed, given, you know.’’

You weren’t sure what Moze was thinking, too scared to look at him. Another silence settled between you, making you feel restless as you waited for him to say something. Anything. Please just don’t leave this time.

And he didn’t. Instead, Moze stepped in front of you, tilting your face up to look at him, his violet eyes roaming across your face until he met your gaze, ‘’Can you- Can you kiss me again, please? Pretend it’s the first time?’’ 

His voice was surprisingly soft, barely audible over the sound of your own heartbeat. Did you get that right? ‘’You want me to kiss you?’’ you breathed out, a dozen questions running through your head as you stared at him, ‘’Are- Are you sure?’’

‘’I’ve never been this sure about anything else in my life,’’ the man muttered, caressing your cheek, ‘’I’ve noticed that I- felt different around you around the time you got transferred to the Yaoqing, but I didn’t think much of it until…well, recently. The realization didn't hit me until I talked to Jiaoqiu about it and he put it into words for me.’’

‘’Oh’’ 

‘’Is…that all you want to say?’’

‘’To be honest, I never thought I’d be in this situation,’’ you admitted, still processing what he had just told you, ‘’I- I can’t believe I was terrified of losing you like, ten minutes ago, and now we’re…here.’’

‘’That’s…a good thing, isn’t it?’’

‘’I think this a better outcome than I had imagined possible,’’ you huffed, straightening up, ‘’The only thing I need to worry about now is explaining everything to Guinaifen.’’ Then, still shaking from nervousness, you leaned forward, ghosting your lips over his, ‘’May I?’’

‘’...You may.’’

And you did, gently pressing your lips against his as if afraid all this was just your imagination, that he'd vanish the second you touched him. Yet, when his arm wrapped around your waist to pull you closer, you knew you weren’t dreaming. ‘’You’re…really okay with this, right?’’ you whispered between kisses, glancing up at him, ‘’I’m not just hearing what I want to hear?’’

Moze merely responded by pressing his lips to yours again, hand wandering to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss. ‘’You worry too much,’’ he eventually muttered before pressing his forehead against yours.

‘’It’s a talent,’’ you chuckled, slightly out of breath but audibly relieved, ‘’Besides, the only reason I was so worried in the first place were you.’’

‘’May I remind you that you were the one kissing me without warning?’’ ‘’Alright, alright-’’ you groaned, just barely containing your joy, ‘’I’ll never live this down, will I?’’

You freed yourself from Moze’s grasp, turning to head toward your bedroom before stopping and glancing back at him, hesitating, ‘’Do- Do you mind staying for the night? I don’t…want you to leave just yet.’’

‘’If that’s what you want, then of course,’’ the man reassured, ‘’Just don’t start complaining when I wake you up too early.’’

‘’Don’t make me regret this, big guy,’’ you chuckled, offering him your hand while you made your way toward the bedroom, ‘’Thank you, by the way, For…well, everything.’’

‘’Always.’’

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

[astarionancuntnin]

here's my masterlist with everything i've written! note that:

all fics are explicit and astarion x fem!reader unless specified

series and multichapter fics have their masterlist linked with all chapters and ao3 links

one-shots/requests will have their main theme mentioned in parentheses next to the title, and the full lists of content warnings are available on their linked post/ao3 page

Requests: OPEN!

Current pending requests: 2

- i am more comfortable writing astarion (spawn or ascended) and halsin, but im open to get out of my comfort zone and write other characters! - i write in third or second POV (more experienced with x reader/tav) - comfortable with most types of writing (fluff, smut, angst, hurt/comfort) - i am willing to go extremely dark and kinky (basically ask and if its above my limit ill tell you, but if ive already written about it, im cool with it) - send an ask and ill get started on it! (i am quite busy recently, but i promise to get around to your request sooner rather than later)

fics are posted in chronological order of creation

this list will keep getting updated as i upload more

full list below the cut!

she was a wildfire that couldn't be tamed; he was the night star admiring her ruthless dance

Undisclosed Desires (Denial of feelings, rivals to lovers) (part 1)

Masterlist

astarion and you, along with your other companions, have been traveling together for a few weeks now. he gets on your nerves at least once a day. but as much as you hate to admit it, your late night activites are plagued by him. little do you know, hes aware of the effect he has on you and intends to use that to his advantage.

Bad Blood (Mature, Angst, follow up fic to Undisclosed Desires, Astarion POV) (part 2)

Masterlist (not posted yet)

it was meant to be a nice, simple plan. get the sorceress to fall in love with him to assure his safety. what he didn't plan was to fall for her as well, and all the complications that came along with it.

A Lesson in Taming Your Dark Consort

(all fics in this series are one-shots that surround the dynamic between Ascended Astarion and his consort Malva (my oc evil tav), heavily BDSM driven)

Taming a Tempest (spanking, semi-public sex)

oh, to be the Vampire Ascendant's dark consort. to have eternity and enhanced powers right at her finger tips - only to be denied. but two could play this game, and Malva would make Astarion regret witholding anything from her.

read on ao3

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Dancing on the Edge of a Knife (knife play, orgasm denial)

ever since his ascension, Malva was convinced that Astarion was the only person who could understand her every twisted desire. well, almost. there are some things she still keeps to herself, he simply wouldn't understand this part of her, the one who dances on the very edge of her knife.

read on ao3

read on tumblr

Contributions to Angels of The Night Collection

Blood Sisters (MalvaxMerelind)

Die For You (Lovers to Enemies to Lovers, Ascended Astarion) Completed work!

contains some Shadowheart x fem!reader

Masterlist

the ascension changed the person Astarion was, or so you believed. you broke up and parted ways after defeating the netherbrain, thinking it was for the best, but when you see him again 6 months later at the reunion, you realize you never truly moved on. and neither did he.

Meet Me In The Woods (predator/prey)

read on ao3

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it's astarion's turn to keep watch for the night. everyone's off to bed and he's still gone hunting and nowhere to be seen. you refuse to be the one to fill in for him again, so you venture into the woods looking for where he was last seen.

Midnight's Embrace (weed, polyamory)

astarion x female!reader x halsin

read on ao3

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you can’t recall the last time you had a real, good night of sleep. your fight with the nether brain is approaching fast and your anxiety is only increasing. halsin proposes to try a special brand of herbs to alleviate your mind. turns out this herb also awoke something else in you.

Nothing But A Dream (somnophilia)

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you've agreed to take things slow with astarion, only partaking in nighttime activities when he specifically desires them, and this morning, he wants you. but he would hate to intrude on your precious beauty sleep.

Run, Little Fox (predator/prey, hate sex, mildly dubious consent)

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this brat of a rogue questioned your leadership one time too many, it is time he learns his place, and youll do it the only way he'll listen to you: with a challenge. if you win, he will be held accountable for his actions, but if he wins, he gets to use you every night. it doesn't matter anyway, you'll win... won't you?

Public Display of Affection (A!A, jealousy, semi-public/loud sex, hints of voyeurism feat. Gale)

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his consort - his beautiful, too kind for her own good - forever young lover. she was his, and his only, and he believed it was long overdue to make that statement clear among the rest of their group. after tonight, the only name spiling from her luscious lips would be his.

Death is Not an Escape (Mature, Dead By Daylight AU, heavy angst)

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it wasn't supposed to end like this, they were supposed to get out and defeat the absolute - together. but as a dark fog swallowed them whole, their fates changed drastically.

The Ways of Worship (Priest/Modern AU, Corruption)

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this faith was all you've ever known. so when you wake up a morning with the dreadful feeling that you've lost it, you do the one thing that makes sense - confess to your local priest. when he offers his guidance with the promise of making you whole again, you accept without a second thought. your first lesson begins tonight.

Remember Me (Angst, Audio adaptation)

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you can't make sense of where you are or even how you ended up in this cell - hells, you're not even sure of who you are at this point; any memories of your past are a blur. it's all the more confusing when a group of adventurers come to rescue you, and a particularly worried pale elf takes it upon himself to help you remember who you are.

Silent Night (Somnophilia, Heavy Non-Con, Breeding)

gale x tav

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gale's one dream with Tav is to have a family - something she's been teasing for too long now. something gale is done denying himself. tonight, whether she wants it or not, he'll make her the mother of his children.

sleeping next to astarion

A!A's children

your short future with astarion

A!A being possessive of his consort

[colormepurplex2]

Beneath The Boughs | Dare To Dream

↳ Namjoon x f.Reader ⤜ Robinhood Retelling, Strangers to Lovers/Soulmates, Ruined Arranged Marriage AU ⤜ Rating: MA🔞 ⤜ WC: 6,740 ⚠️violence, crass language, mentions of parental illness, melancholy feelings

Next Chapter⇾ ◅ Back to story masterlist

“My Lady,” Ms. Duckett calls from beyond the doors of the balcony terrace. “My Lady, it is time. If we do not leave now, we will not make it through this side of Sherwood before nightfall.”

You sigh with one last look out over the rolling expanse of bleak countryside. You push to your feet and smooth your gloved hands over the back of your gown, brushing away any detritus that might have attached to the fabric from the bench you were seated on. The heavy silk skirts swish over the layers of your thick wool petticoats as you turn to make your way back inside.

The first flurries of winter have begun, and unless you wish to spend the season shivering in the northern reaches of Yorkshire, you best get on with it. The window to return to the city of Nottingham is closing swiftly. It was a fool's move to leave it until the last moment anyway. But you couldn’t bring yourself to rejoin society sooner than absolutely necessary.

“Apologies, Duckie,” you offer her, the childhood nickname you gave her rolling off your tongue with affection despite your surly mood.

Verna Duckett has been your attending maid ever since your mother fell ill some twenty years prior and found herself with more need for a nursemaid than a lady’s maid. Duckie’s age is a mystery to you, but considering the silver knot tucked under her bonnet, you’d guess she was far older than her spry body and fiery attitude suggest.

Thinking of your mother’s continued ailing constitution only sours your demeanor further. After all, it is why you’ve found yourself in the predicament you are currently trying to avoid. So, to keep from dawdling further with those dark thoughts, you focus on gathering the fox-fur-lined cloak you left draped over the end of your bed and securing its thick golden clasp at your throat.

Duckie titters under her breath, reminding you of a flittering songbird as she encourages you from the room. “The sheriff is waiting with the carriages.”

That news pulls you up short at the top of the grand staircase. “The sheriff?”

“Indeed so, My Lady. He has come up from Nottingham to be your escort at the request of Prince Seokjin.”

Bile threatens to rise from the churning pit of your stomach. The Prince. “Must it be so?” you mutter to yourself. “Right,” you try to clear the disappointment from your voice as you begin the descent down the stairs. “Let us not keep him waiting long, then.”

The bite from the snowy northern winds does little to soothe the blazing tempest in your chest as you breeze through the open doors of the home you’ve kept for the summer in Yorkshire. It was once your father’s estate, passed down to you when you came of age. You prefer it to the oppressive halls of the inner city home you keep in Nottingham—the one your parents choose to reside in year-round.

“My Lady.” The sheriff greets you by way of an oily smile and a tip of his chin. “Trying to catch a cold before your big day?”

A snide remark forms on the tip of your tongue but you bite the offending appendage before it can garner you trouble over the next two days of travel. The absolute last thing you wish for right now is to land on Yoongi’s—the sheriff’s—bad side.

It’s possible you might have once considered him a friend. He has all the charm and grace of a pleasant gentleman. But, when he started to bow and scrape, doing the Prince’s bidding in forcing your hand, you lost all respect and good will towards him.

You’re aware that’s not exactly fair, considering Yoongi is merely a sheriff, and the prince is, well, a prince. But it simply is not fair, and you are more than aware of the other dealings the prince and Yoongi have gotten up to in the recent years since King Seokjoong went on his crusades.

Mirth twinkles in Yoongi’s eyes; clearly, he can see the restraint painted all over your face. “Of course not, My Lord—I mean, Sheriff,” you reply, your words dripping with saccharinity. His lips flatten at your intentional misuse of the title.

Yoongi is as much a Lord as you are a pigeon. And you know that rankles him far more than any snide remark you might have bestowed upon him. Being the Sheriff of Nottingham brings Yoongi power, but not nearly enough to satiate his growing greed. That much is evident in how he swindles and ousts any and all meager bits of coinage from the pockets of those he is sworn to protect. No, Yoongi protects only himself…and occasionally you, per the prince’s request.

The ride to Nottingham starts slow and ponderous, the snow turning to sleet with each creeping mile south, causing the dirt under hoof and wheel to quickly form ruts and mud pits that suck and pull, sapping any haste from the procession.

Duckie was being generous in her assessment of time, as by the time the sun drops below the horizon, your caravan escort has barely hit the outskirts of Sherwood. You know it was unwise to have spent so long avoiding the ride; this is your own doing.

It’s not that you mind the forest at night; it’s just that the swaying oil lamps and guttering torches do little to diminish the darkness. Every creak of the carriage and distant animal chitter have you quite literally on the edge of your seat, the velvet cushion firmly crushed under your hands where they fist the lip of the bench.

The sudden, jarring stop of the carriage nearly unseats you. Muffled shouts sound from beyond the drawn curtains. Duckie frowns, absently pulling a handkerchief from her apron pocket and fanning her ample bosom with it.

“Dreadful luck stopping in these cursed woods,” she mutters nervously before flicking back the edge of one of the curtains and peeking out the window. “What in heavens is going on out there?”

She jumps back, her alarmed yelp echoing through the carriage as Yoongi jerks open the door. “My Lady, I apologize for the delay. There is some debris across the roadway. It should only take a moment for it to be moved, and then we shall be on our way once more. I think it best we continue through the night,” he says with a grimace as his focus is pulled somewhere back beyond the carriage.

Without another word, he disappears, shutting you and Duckie in the carriage once more. The silence is only broken by the soft swishing of Duckie’s handkerchief as she goes back to fanning herself.

“Not to worry, dearie. I’m sure the Sheriff will have us back on the move in no time.”

Adrenaline courses through your veins when muffled shouts and screams rend through the air, breaking the tense silence. You catch the faintest bellow from the head of the caravan.

“Brigands! Brigands in the trees! To arms!”

Duckie shrieks, her handkerchief fluttering in the air as she lurches toward you. The air wooshes from your lungs as she drags you bodily into the bottom of the carriage and throws herself on top of you. 

One of her elbows catches you in the chin as you try to turn over, your skirts tangling around your ankles with each struggling movement.

“Duckie!” you croak, sucking in pitiful gasps of air. The corset stays pinching at your ribs, combined with the full weight of your maid laid across your back, are making it hard to gain the breath that was shoved from your lungs when you hit the carriage floor. “I cannot breathe!”

She wails something unintelligible and pushes up onto her knees. You flop over onto your back and suck in a sweet lungful of air. Your exhale is an aching sputter that turns into a fit of coughing. Suddenly, the air inside the carriage is too hot and thick.

“My Lady!” Duckie’s bark of protest follows you out of the carriage. You couldn’t reach your feet fast enough, scrambling up from your knees and shoving open the carriage door, stumbling out several steps. You stand there, plunged into the cacophony around you, trying valiantly to suck in fresh air.

The night is alive with pain and shrieks of madness. Chaos engulfs your small caravan, and there are scattered pockets of struggle everywhere you look. Figures dressed in various shades of dark green and brown are engaged with the bright reds and golds of the Prince’s colors.

As if wanting to bear witness to the violence, the moon has worked its way through the gloomy cloud cover overhead and lends its light to the smoking oil lanterns and torches to illuminate the mud-churned—now striped with blood—road.

A sneering face comes into focus, startling you back a step. “Are you mad, woman!? Get back in the carriage!” Yoongi roars before taking off back into the fray.

He meets the swing of a brigand's sword with his own; the clash of steel against steel rings through the air, further jolting you from your frozen state. Panic harries you as you retreat further, your eyes on a constant swivel for danger.

A gout of flame flares to life near the head of the line of carriages, and the screams of horses pierce the din. “Fire! The horses!” thunders a voice that is soon swallowed by the frenzy of other sounds.

You watch in horror as a carriage engulfed in flame careens off the road, being dragged through the sticky muck by out-of-control horses. Their fear is palpable, the flames devouring the front coach seat and licking so close to their tails.

The painful whickering of the beautiful draft horses draws you like a moth being led directly to the inferno. You’re heedless of the danger around you. One sole focus consumes you; no one is available to free those horses…if you don’t do it, they’ll surely die.

Once again, your feet move before you can do more than register Duckie’s protesting cries from behind you. You fist the billows of your skirt in your hands, hiking up the thick material, making your reckless sprint a little easier, though the churned mud still sucks at the soles of your slippers, which are soon filled with icy water and slimy muck.

“My Lady!” Duckie’s cry follows you, closer than before. “Please, My Lady, no!”

“The horses, Duckie! We have to help them!” you beg, skittering to a stop in the muck, arms windmilling to keep yourself upright.

Whether or not she heard your desperate plea or simply followed you out of an attempt to get you to turn back toward the carriage, she stumbles to a stop beside you as you take in the carnage.

The carriage that caught fire was one of the ones lit with the hanging lanterns. Arrows dot the wooden side, which is now facing the sky. The entire thing has turned over in the muck from the mad dash of the horses combined with the sticky mud. It’s evident an arrow hit one of the lanterns and caused the fire. Whether by accident or intentional, the damage is done, and your time is running out as the flames lick across the carriage and shoot toward the sky.

A massive tangle of leather hitching straps and splintered wood connects the two draft horses to the wreckage. They rear and scream, massive hooves raking the sky as they thrash and pull in vain at their harnesses.

Ignoring the sapping cold of the mud seeping through the skirts of your gown, you throw yourself on the ground where the straps attach to the overturned carriage. Duckie lands in the muck beside you a second later, her hands moving as frantically as your own as you wrestle with the buckles and bolts. The entire wreck shudders every time the horses stomp and attempt to free themselves, but you don’t dare abandon the buckles to try and calm them. You’d likely catch an errant hoof to your person for the efforts.

Heat beats down on you, and the faint stench of burnt hair and singed fabric mixes with the acrid stink of smoke filling the air around you. The flames are growing closer, but you ignore the discomfort, pouring all your focus into freeing the horses.

“To your right!” a voice calls out over the din of battle a second before something thunks heavily into the ground beside you.

You spare a glance up, and your eyes catch on a hooded figure. Time suspends in a moment of what you can only describe as magick. Something flickers in your chest as your eyes meet the ones staring out from the cowl, like a blossoming flower opening under the warm spring sun for the first time.

It’s captivating, soul-capturing, and utterly unexplainable. Dark, seemingly endless eyes, inky hair, and a face you’re sure you’ve never seen in full before…yet know more intimately than even your own—a man of your dreams. Dreams you’ve had since you were a young teenager of a man with eyes like endless pools of night sky and a heart that beats in kind with your own.

A frantic cry from Duckie breaks the spell, the carriage shifting so violently it rocks you backward onto your bottom. You tear your eyes away from the mysterious man. Focusing back on the task at hand, you grasp the hilt of the forearm-length blade you know he’s responsible for tossing to you. It is embedded point-down in the ground by your side, still vibrating from the force.

Ripping the blade from the mud, you make quick work of slicing through the harness straps. The horses burst free from their restraints and take off at a panicked gallop away from the fire raging behind you.

Quiet sobs are hiccuping from Duckie. She grabs a fistful of the back of your gown and jerks. “Go!” But instead of directing you back toward your carriage, her momentum sends you sprawling in the direction of the closest darkened clutch of trees. “We need to hide! Hurry, to the trees!”

Digging for purchase in the icy muck, you lurch to your feet and stumble until the forest's darkness gobbles you up. Duckie is only a pace or two behind you, her mud-covered bosom heaving as she slumps down behind a knotted and gnarled tree.

Wordlessly, she beckons for you to join her, and you both sit there, peering around the side of the tree and back at the chaos still engulfing your caravan. The fighting has died down. A few green and brown-clad bodies writhe on the ground, making your stomach protest the senseless violence.

Broken crates and boxes lie scattered about, their insides spilled and pilfered through by the brigands—clearly a band of no-good highwaymen. It’s one of the main reasons the Sherwood Forest should be avoided after dark. Bands of rogues and disgraced knights have taken to prowling the thick woods.

As sour as your thoughts are, you can’t help searching the fray for a particular hooded figure. You feel like if you could get one more glimpse of him, you might be able to decipher what happened when your eyes met his. At the moment, you could have sworn he was the man of your dreams, but now, you’re not so sure. There is far too much adrenaline coursing through your system for you to make heads from tails of it.

You watch as one of the brigands uses the pommel of their sword to clock one of your escorts across the temple, crumpling him into a heap of red and gold. Focusing on each pitched cluster of violence, you realize the red and gold figures are the only ones trying to deal lethal blows. You’ve watched enough tournaments of combat to know the basics of battle.

“They’re not trying to kill them,” you mutter under your breath.

“What, My Lady?”

Sparing a glance at Duckie, you nod back toward the road. “The brigands. They’re not using lethal moves. It is as if they are intentionally avoiding critical damage. Like they…” you trail off, catching sight of a familiar hooded figure, glinting eyes shadowed in the cowl latching on yours.

“You cannot possibly be suggesting—”

“Behind you!” you scream, lurching from your hiding spot and sprinting back toward the road where you saw Yoongi creeping up behind the hooded figure as he was distracted, staring at you.

Branches scratch and rip at your gown and the exposed skin of your throat and hands. But the stinging lashes are second to the intense panic slicing through your chest as Yoongi’s bloodied sword arcs through the air.

By the time you spill from the cover of the trees, the cloaked man is springing up from a roll where he must have dodged Yoongi’s blade. You watch as he spins to face Yoongi. He brings a hand up, and an ear-splitting whistle pierces the air.

As if the sound has broken a dam, the dozen remaining hooded figures, including the one with those molten eyes locked on you, disengage and retreat. They dissolve into the surrounding trees like fog baked away by a noonday sun; there one moment and gone the next.

Yoongi barks an order to pursue, and half the remaining gold and red soldiers peel off to follow. They look like a ragtag bunch, their armor speckled with dark mud and blood. But, you know they have received extensive training under the tutelage of Yoongi and the Prince’s court mage and will try to track down as many of the brigands as they can like the good hunting dogs they are.

“Yoongi, please, call them back!” you plead. “The wood is dark. It is not worth it! Please, I beg you, let us hurry—”

The narrowing of Yoongi’s eyes causes your words to catch in your throat. You’ve never seen such a venomous glare. It pierces right through your heart, spearing you in place. You think he is about to lay into you, lashing at you with that curdling tongue. Yet, he just nods, turning away and stalking from you before whistling a sharp cadence that you recognize is used to call the guards back.

“My Lady,” Duckie sniffles. “Oh, your gown. This simply won’t do. Come, come, back to the carriage.”

She ushers you quickly back toward the open door of your carriage, the horses tethered to the front, finally calming their stamping hooves and wild eyes.

“Move out!” Yoongi shouts. The guards who had peeled off to follow the brigands emerge back into the clearing, and in a few short minutes, the caravan moves once again—albeit a few carriages short, the carnage left behind like a pock on the King’s Road.

🍂🍂🍂

Namjoon

There were too many.

Too many uniforms of red and gold and sharpened swords.

It was a bad call.

No amount of coin is worth the bodies that were left behind in the mud. Namjoon knows he shouldn’t have encouraged the men. He should have put his foot down and been firm in his insistence that they hold back.

But, there’s naught to do for it now except lick their wounds and hope the amount of coins and jewels they got off with can fill their larders against the coming winter. The bags seemed heavy enough, but one can never be too sure until they actually begin to count and weigh it out.

The men seem happy enough. Their jovial shouts and laughter carry through the woods, adrenaline adding to the thrill of it as they all easily lope along under the darkening boughs.

The dense foliage overhead absorbs their merriment, and Namjoon doesn’t wish to take it away from them by asking them to quiet down. He realized that the Sheriff called off his dogs shortly after anyway—a surprise for sure and a welcomed one at that.

“How many did we lose?”  Hoseok asks, pitching his voice low so others don’t hear. His long legs trot along, keeping pace with ease beside Namjoon.

Namjoon frowns, huffing a breath as they jog in silence for a few moments. “Five.” He rattles off their names, hating how each one coats his tongue with a bitterness that nothing but the most potent fyre ale will be able to staunch.

“We will honor them and ensure their families are taken care of,” Hoseok offers, his voice hollow but firm. He’s always been a softer guy, something Namjoon has cherished in all their years of friendship. Hoseok has helped to temper Namjoon’s anger and quell his intensity at dire times of need; he is an empath through and through.

Not trusting himself to say more, Namjoon just nods as they continue through the woods until they reach their destination.

It’s a hidden city—a village, really. But everyone likens it to a city, considering it stretches across nearly an entire league of forest, tucked into the upper branches of the trees. It’s a proverbial city of wooden treehouses and rope bridges spanning between platforms. They have nearly everything a city does, even a bakery and a small darning shop.

The only thing not within the hidden city in the tops of the trees is the smithy—too much of a fire hazard, of course. So, Jungkook has his forge and the bellows tucked away into the crumbling remains of an ancient fortress long forgotten in the woods.

As an exiled knight of the crown, Jungkook knows his way around weaponry. It wasn’t that far of a leap to smithing once he got the hang of it. Namjoon can just see the glow of the forge fire as his band approaches, the approaching call having been whistled just a moment before.

It’s safer like that, using mimicry of bird calls as signals. He learned early on that you can never be too careful. The last thing Namjoon wants is for someone to come across his home…his people, the outcasts and the damned.

“I’m going to check in with Jungkook. Be up shortly,” Namjoon tells Hoseok before veering off towards the old ruins.

Hoseok disappears into the foliage, rallying the band up the rope ladders to the hidden homes above, where most of their families wait. Despite how ramshackle and hodgepodge his little city is, there is beauty in it, too. Beauty in the families, the small children that have spent more of their lives living among the leaves of trees than on the ground. But at least they’re safe; that’s what matters most.

That and the food from the coin they managed to loot tonight will garner.

That’s the primary reason he needs to speak with Jungkook. Being an exiled knight, the man not only knows his way around weaponry, but he has a knack for trading and brokering deals as well.

Despite his exile, Jungkook is still respected among many of the Prince’s men. With a well-placed word and an extra coin or two, Jungkook can get just about anything Namjoon needs.

There is a chill in the air, but the forge is blistering hot, the heat reflecting off the stone ruins' few remaining walls. Namjoon thinks this particular nook of rubble was once a stable—the rusted iron hitching posts lining the lower wall leads him to that conclusion.

Jungkook seems to be getting ready to shut the forge down for the night. He’s shirtless and dripping sweat with an assortment of new blades, which are laid out on the makeshift table off to the side.

“Oh! You startled me,” Jungkook huffs, a soot-covered hand slapping over his heart as he turns and spots Namjoon.

Namjoon smiles apologetically. “Sorry, brother. I was just about to announce myself.”

“It’s no matter,” Jungkook says, brushing it off. He swings around further, depositing the leather roll of tools cradled in his other arm on the table beside the new blades.

“What brings you here? I thought surely you’d be up with everyone else, filling your belly with some ale. There are still a few casks left.”

“In due time.” Namjoon shrugs, looking for something to distract from the real reason he’s come to talk to Jungkook. “Do you mind if I have one of these?” he asks, gesturing to the pile of fresh blades.

Jungkook’s eyes sweep over Namjoon, landing on the empty dagger sheath at his hip. “That’s, what, the third blade you’ve managed to lose in as many months?”

Namjoon scrubs a hand through his hair, sighing. “Yeah…there was some trouble on the road.”

Those eyes that were resting on his empty sheath now narrow into a calculating query as they rise to Namjoon’s. “How did it go?”

The tense silence lasts just a spell before Namjoon clears his throat and breaks it. “We came away with a few hefty bags.”

“But? There’s a but there, I can tell. Go on, tell me, how many did we lose?” Jungkook leans a hip against the table. He pulls out the rough-spun towel tucked into the top of his leather apron and begins to absently brush and wipe the soot and grime from his hands.

As much as Namjoon would rather talk about the trade and bartering that would come from the coin, he knew Jungkook would ask after the loss. After all, it was Jungkook’s suggestion that took Namjoon and his band of men to the edge of the forest tonight. He had heard that the Sheriff would be moving precious cargo. It turns out the precious cargo was in the form of a woman.

A fierce and brilliant woman who came rocketing into Namjoon’s life like a shooting star blazing through the night as she streaked across the impromptu battlefield to free those terrified horses. It was an accident, the errant arrow catching one of the hanging lanterns. He heard the man who loosed the arrow curse and lament over it and they both got caught up defending their backs against the Guards before they could act.

“We lost five,” Namjoon says to pull his mind out of that rabbit hole. The last thing he needs to be thinking about is the odd, visceral connection and pull he felt with that mystery woman.

Jungkook nods, his lips thinning into a straight line. “They’ll be honored by all,” he says, mirroring Hoseok’s words from earlier. “Tell me what else went on? What was so precious Yoongi disregarded all safety guards and ventured into the Wood so late?”

The words get caught in Namjoon’s throat. In part, he doesn’t want to tell Jungkook because he somehow feels possessive of the woman. It’s absurd. Forcing that notion aside, Namjoon forges on, recounting everything that transpired for Jungkook. By the time he’s done, Jungkook nods with a faint look of knowing on his face.

“For some reason, the Sheriff signaled a pullback a few minutes after the order to follow. He’s never done that before.”

“That,” Jungkook says, tucking the now-soiled rag back into the top of his apron, “would be The Fair Maiden of York’s doing.”

“Wait. The who?” Namjoon has heard of The Yorkshire Maiden. She’s renowned throughout the parts, even for someone as hidden and removed from society as Namjoon. In fact, he knows that she’s— “The Prince’s betrothed? You mean to tell me we attacked her caravan?” He mutters your name, the sweet sound of it coating his tongue like honey. “That’s who that was?” Each new line of thinking has Namjoon’s alarm rising.

“I had thought she had already ventured south. It didn’t even cross my mind that the precious cargo could have been her. In truth, I should have considered it. I’m sorry, my friend. I’ll try to get better information next time.”

Namjoon barely registers Jungkook’s words, giving him a jerky nod and a half-muttered excuse of needing to go. Jungkook waves him off, saying he’ll be up shortly.

But he won’t find Namjoon when he does.

No, because Namjoon is now on a different trail, having passed off a curt message to a sentry about returning in a few days' time that he was going to speak to a contact. Which isn’t entirely a lie. He needs answers and fast. There is only one place he can think of that he might be able to find them. A place he hasn’t visited in far too long—months at this point.

The feeling in his chest…the name still echoing in his mind. There is an explanation. But he needs to be sure, confirm it, and see it once again with his own eyes. Because surely it’s impossible… fairytales are just that, fairytales.

It’s not like he didn’t already know your name. But the combination of your name and the feelings that assaulted him…Namjoon’s thoughts trail off as he focuses on putting one foot in front of the other, keeping to the shadows.

He cuts around the tree-top encampment, skirting the ruins until he hits a very seldomly trailed path. It spears right into the heart of Sherwood, leading Namjoon directly to the outskirts of Nottingham.

Namjoon has to journey through the night, taking a brief reprieve under the drooping boughs of a pine. Thready light filters through the trees, guiding Namjoon. Despite the infrequent use of this particular trail, he knows it perhaps more intimately than any other. It was the path of his childhood, where he found salvation and freedom.

The spire of the old church comes into view, breaking through the canopy before it gives way entirely to the thick stone wall encasing the city proper. It was the wish of the church to remain outside the city so its doors could remain open to any and all manner of wanderers, even those who may have found themselves on the wrong end of the Kingdom’s sword.

“Friar Gill! Friar Gill, are you within?” Namjoon whisper-yells, peeking over the sill of one of the rear windows of the sprawling sect house that connects to the church proper. It’s early enough in the dim morning hours that daily service and devotionals haven’t happened, but the brother within should be awake to prepare for them.

“Is that you, Namjoon?” comes a familiar voice, though one that does not belong to Friar Gill.

“Jimin? Er, Friar Park, yes, it’s me.”

“What brings you here at this hour?” Jimin asks, his tousled head of dark locks poking out the window a second later. His eyes are bright, the dark irises catching the first glimmers of morning light. A hefty tome is clutched to his robe-covered chest and there is a smudge of ink on the apple of his left cheek.

“Is Friar Gill here?”

“I’m afraid not. He left per request of the King, nearly a month gone now. He’s to bless the front lines and bestow his grace upon the King as he continues his crusade. It seems the Prince’s favored mage has not brought the King any luck,” he adds that last part with a healthy smirk, his cheeks instantly coloring as he clears his throat. “Forgive me for speaking ill of the Prince’s Mage.”

It’s an automatic response, Namjoon knows, for Jimin to feel contrite over his words immediately. Even if he knows Namjoon holds no warmth with the Prince nor his Mage. If anything, Namjoon harbors far more resentment and hatred towards the snake of a magick caster than most.

After all, it was The Mage who saw to Namjoon’s displacement and subsequent outlawish ways. It’s his fault that Namjoon has had to resort to pillaging city-bound caravans to get by.

He reminds Jimin as much, “You know there is no pleasantry lost between Taehyung and myself.”

Jimin nods, a frown pulling down his full mouth. “Yes. Yes, I don’t suppose so.” Straightening up, Jimin gives a quick shake of his head. “Friar Gill may be gone, but perhaps I can help you. What is it that you need?”

“There’s a book…a book that was shown to me when I was just a boy by Friar Gill. It has a green leather cover and gold etching along the edges. The title was something odd, a language I’m not familiar with. Do you know it?”

“‘Prophetia Somniorum’,” Jimin intones softly, his eyes widening with twinkling wonder. “A book about dreams. Prophetic dreams.”

“Yes. That’s the one. I think it has the answers that I seek.”

🍂🍂🍂

“Please, My Lady, come away from the window before you catch a chill. It’s the last thing you’d want on this day.”

You sigh, turning away from the open window of your tower room. The landscape beyond is bleak, the sky streaked through with heavy, grey rain clouds. There’s been a perpetual drizzle ever since you arrived in Nottingham.

Six days. It’s been six whole days since the incident in Sherwood Forest. Six days since you saw him…and you can’t stop thinking about those dark eyes. You’ve dreamed about them several times throughout your life, a few times a year at most. Now, though, it’s become a nightly occurrence.

There was a point in your life, in your early twenties, when you asked your mother about the dreams and whether or not she thought they held any meaning. You’ll never forget the faraway look she got in her eyes and the sad smile that curved her rouged lips.

It was like she was haunted by your question, or rather whatever your question made go through her mind. Memories, perhaps. Though, she never would tell you, no matter how much you asked. She simply told you that you should always dare to dream, whether your eyes are opened or closed.

You wish you could seek her guidance now, to ask her whether or not the man on the road could genuinely be the man you’ve been seeing in your dreams or if that kind of thing only belongs in storybooks.

It’s been months since you’ve seen either her or your father. Ever since your mother took ill and she and your father took up permanent residence in Nottingham, you’ve spent far more time alone in Yorkshire than in either of their companies.

As it is, you’ve not even seen either of them since you came into the city. Their estate is on the far side of Nottingham, in the garden district, and you’re restricted to the Palace. You had received a brief letter from them when you first arrived, a simple check-in via a cursore. You sent a response, but there hasn’t been word since, not a single knock at your chamber door aside from the occasional servant bringing your meals.

You wouldn’t be surprised if it’s still months before you see them again, given your mother’s health and your father’s demanding position within the governing body.

Duckie titters, her hands automatically moving to straighten your gown, even though not a stitch has moved since she trussed you into the stays an hour gone. The sun sits heavy and low on the horizon, its thready rays trying pitifully to eat away the thickness of night and perpetually grey cover.

You woke long before you should have, feeling restless with an itch beneath your skin. The fine hairs along your arms prickle under the long bells of your sleeves. You can’t shake the feeling that’s been gnawing at your gut since your eyes popped open, the dream of your highwayman sluicing away like a rush of icy water down your back.

“My gown is fine, Duckie,” you mutter. It takes every ounce of nerve you have to not jerk away from her prodding and fluffing.

Her wrinkled lips turn down in a frown. “One can never be too lax on a day such as this, My Lady. I just want to make sure you are pristine for Prince Seokjin.”

You might have once smiled at the thought of a prince. Part of the girlish charm of childhood, you’re sure. Pretty dresses, handsome princes, and a single care of naught else in the world. Only, you’re not a girl anymore. Not even close.

“I’m quite alright. Please. If the prince cannot accept me as I am right now, then perhaps he does not befit me after all.” You meant to say that to yourself, a mere utterance under your breath, but your frazzled nerves must be affecting your senses as a whole.

The gasp from Duckie is so dramatic it belongs in the theatre, center stage with an anticipation-gripped crowd holding their breaths to find out what happens next. In this case, it's a twitching of your eye as you suppress an eye roll and plaster on a tense smile instead.

Duckie swallows whatever response is on her tongue when a loud, sharp rapt sounds at the door. She schools her features and turns towards it, giving you a quick glance over her shoulder. You nod, letting her know it’s acceptable to open the door, even if you’d rather tell her to send whoever it could possibly be away. Nothing good can come of a knock on the door today, even if it could be a cursor from your parents.

Just as expected, the door opens, and you’re certain the temperature in the room drops several degrees. If you were facing the window, you’re sure you’d see the sun slink backward in the sky, choosing to hide from the figure on the other side of your threshold instead of continuing its journey to spread its meager warmth.

The prince’s mage sweeps into the room, his upper lip curled in mild disgust as his gaze sweeps over Duckie, quickly dismissing her, until they land on you. Those cold, calculating eyes have always unnerved you. What with their slender vertical pupils that slice through his golden brown irises, he looks every inch the venomous snake you know he is.

“My Lady,” he says, tilting his unruly head of midnight hair toward you. Even his voice has a hiss-like quality to it, the syllables drawn out just a breath too long.

“Taehyung.” You hope he can hear the apparent disinterest in the flat tone of your voice. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” Though it’s anything but, you mentally note.

“I came to escort you to the arena.”

Of course, he would be the one to come and escort you. You should have figured as much. Despite the threat of rain, today’s festivities are set to commence at high noon. In celebration of your betrothal to the prince, a tournament of varying specialties is being held. There will be horse jousting, stone lifting, archery, and a multitude of other events, along with a giant feast. The event is open to most of the public, one of the only times mere commoners may get the chance to mingle among the upper echelon.

You balked at the idea when it was presented to you by your father. But, he would hear nothing of it, nattering on about how this marriage will benefit not just the Kim crown but your father’s own standing with his home country as well. For lack of a better way to say it, you are simply a means to a political end. No better than a slab of meat being bartered for at market.

“There is no—”

“There have been more reports of attacks on the road, growing ever closer to the city. The prince worries for your safety. You can come with me, or I shall have to call for the sheriff. My Lady, there simply can be no other way.”

It’s tempting to make him call for Yoongi. However, you’re not sure who the lesser of two evils is. As much as you hold disdain for the sheriff, you know if he’s pulled away from his duties to escort you, his wrath will be great. While the prince’s mage unnerves you…best to get this over with.

“Very well.” You incline your head and clench your jaw in preparation for the feel of his skin against yours as you stiffly rest your hand over the top of his when he offers it to you.

Ignoring the foreboding feeling growing in the pit of your stomach, you allow Taehyung to guide you out your door, Duckie shuffling close behind. The soft whisper of your slippers over the cold stones in the corridor might as well be the toll of a bell, telling of your impending doom and the future you want no part of.

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[sissylittlefeather]

If I Can Dream: Chapter 2

A/N: I am so flattered by all the comments on Chapter 1! Seriously, y'all made my life with your kindness! I'm so glad there are other people who love Jo and 1975 Elvis as much as I do. I hope this one continues to live up to expectations! Keep the comments coming!

Need to catch up? Masterlist here.

Summary: It's 1975 and Jo Bellamy has been in love with Elvis for 20 years. She doesn't even care that they haven't met yet. All she needs is a chance and she's determined to get one.

But Elvis doesn't feel much like Elvis anymore. What happened to the man he used to be? He's pretty sure he's long gone.

Can a chance encounter with Jo change the ill-fated trajectory of his life?

Warnings: This will have smut, so minors stay away, but this chapter is all fluff/minor angst. Elvis gets mad and Jo is a bit triggered by it. Oh and Elvis takes pills again.

Word count: ~2.4k

Jo gets back in her car, rubbing her hands together for warmth, and says a silent prayer that Elvis will call.

******

Elvis wanders around the house aimlessly, trying not to wake anyone else up. He decides to take a peek at the cameras down at the gate to make sure everything is quiet. When he looks, though, he sees a girl standing there with her hand on the gate. She seems vaguely familiar, but he can't really see her face and she's bundled in a hat, coat, and scarf. He watches as she stands there for a bit and then walks away. Sighing deeply, he watches for a couple more minutes and then decides she must be gone. But just as he goes to turn away, she's back with something in her arms.

“What the hell?” He whispers as she starts trying to throw them over the gate. A chuckle escapes him as she misses a few times and has to walk further down the wall. Then, it dawns on him what she's throwing: paper airplanes. He watches as she throws the last one, rubbing her hands together and walking away. Then, his curiosity gets the best of him and he goes to Jerry's door, knocking. “Jer! Hey Jer, you up?”

Jerry takes a while to come to the door and Elvis knocks impatiently. Finally, he opens the door, his hair a mess and his eyes bleary with sleep.

“What is it, boss?”

“I need you to do somethin' for me.”

“Right now?” Jerry looks around for a clock to tell him what time it is.

“Yes, now. Get dressed.” Elvis turns and walks away and Jerry grabs some pants and shoes and follows him.

At the front door, Elvis explains what he wants Jerry to do.

“Just go out and get the airplanes?” Jerry raises his eyebrows. This seems like a simple task.

“Yes. And bring them to me.”

“You couldn't do this yourself?” Elvis smiles slyly.

“It's cold out there.” Jerry rolls his eyes and walks out the front door down to the wall. He picks up all of the notes and heads back up the driveway. When he gets back to Elvis inside, he's shivering.

“You want me to read ‘em to you too?”

“No, that's all. Thanks Jerry. Goodnight.” He takes the airplanes from Jerry and walks back up the stairs, leaving the younger man shaking his head and trying to warm his hands up.

Back in his bedroom, Elvis plops onto the giant bed and opens one of the airplanes. His heart stops when he reads it. He quickly opens all the others to find the same thing written on them. Without a thought, he grabs one and walks to the phone on his nightstand, sitting on the bed next to it with the receiver pressed to his ear. He dials the number quickly and waits as it rings.

Jo is in bed, wide awake, when the phone rings. She looks at the clock on the wall and picks it up tentatively.

“Hello?”

“Hi…” Elvis looks at the name on the note. “Jo? It's-”

“Elvis?!” She has to work hard to keep from screaming it into the phone.

“Yeah, honey. I got your airplanes.”

“Oh my god. You did?”

“Well, Jerry got them for me, but yes. How are ya?” Elvis is strangely nervous. His stomach flip-flops waiting for her response.

“I'm… I'm great, I guess. You know it's almost 3am?” She cringes a bit, knowing she shouldn't question this amazing situation, but she wouldn't be her if she wasn't a little sassy.

“Were ya sleepin’?”

“Um, no.”

“Didn’t think so. You live in Memphis or are you visiting?” The conversation continues as they move through the pleasantries into deeper topics. He can't believe how easy she is to talk to, how cute her little laugh is, how much he wishes she was actually there with him. It's been a long time since he's actually genuinely enjoyed a woman's company like this.

Jo is in heaven. This is everything she's ever dreamed of. The only thing that would make it better is being next to him. Still, she'll take what she can get. She's giggling at some story he's telling when she realizes the sun has started to come up.

“Elvis…”

“Yeah, honey?” She tries not to melt when he calls her honey.

“The sun is coming up.” He looks at the window and chuckles, sunlight creeping in under the blackout curtains

“Well, I'll be damned.”

“I have to be at work soon.” Jo twirls the phone cord in her finger, wondering if she'll ever hear from him again if she hangs up.

Elvis doesn't want to stop talking to her, afraid this spell will be broken if he ends the call.

“Why don'tcha play hooky today and come to my house?” Jo’s heart skips and Elvis can't believe what he's said. Why on earth would he invite her over to his house?! He's been up all night and needs to sleep. For a half second, the thought that he'd like to sleep next to her enters his head, but he gets rid of it as quick as it came. As young and pretty as she is, she'd expect more than just sleeping and he's not sure he'd be capable of that today.

“Oh, umm, I'd love to, but I really need to go to work. If I miss again they'll fire me.” He breathes a sigh of relief that she's not coming over immediately, but he still wants to see her.

“How about after? What time are you done?”

“I work until 4. You really want me to come over?” He thinks for a second and then the answer just comes tumbling out.

“Yeah, I really do.”

******

Jo is filled with a kind of nervous excitement all day long that keeps her awake. She's running on pure adrenaline and caffeine, so when the clock strikes 4:00, she's out the door in a heartbeat. She slaps her cheeks as she drives to Graceland trying to stay awake and before she knows it, she's knocking on the front door. Jerry answers and leads her into the foyer.

“Come on in. He's, um, in with the Colonel, but he told us you were coming.” He gestures for her to sit on the couch in the living room. She perches on the edge, careful not to get too comfortable for fear of falling asleep.

Just as she starts to doze, she hears a door slam upstairs and the Colonel comes down the stairs and walks straight out through the front. She hears another crash and it sounds like Elvis has broken something. She stands up instinctively and sees Jerry in the dining room, motioning for her to stay where she is. Elvis stomps down into the foyer and starts yelling to Jerry about whatever he's angry about. Jo isn't sure what to do, so she looks at the door and starts to walk towards it slowly. Maybe she should just get out of here…

“No! Jo, don't leave.” She turns and Elvis is close to her, still breathing heavily from his fight with the Colonel. His hair is fluffy like he's run his hands through it a hundred times.

“I just… I'm exhausted Elvis and you're obviously upset-”

“I'm fine!” He yells at her and she flinches. When she opens her eyes there's a fire in them that makes Elvis step back a little.

“Do not yell at me. I have not done anything to you. I grew up with a man yelling at me for things that weren't my fault and I'm not going to let you do it. I don't care if you are Elvis fucking Presley.” Jerry's eyebrows practically hit his hairline and he crosses his arms, waiting to see how Elvis will respond. Elvis is absolutely floored. No woman has ever talked to him that way. His mouth hangs open as he tries to figure out what he should say. She turns away from him back to the door and he finally speaks.

“Wait, please. Please stay.” He's careful to keep his voice even and quiet, so she doesn't think he's yelling again. Stopping, she lowers her head and breathes deeply. “I just have one more phone call with the recording studio and then I'm all yours. Please.”

Jo turns slowly and sees the pleading desperation in his eyes. She couldn't leave now even if she wanted to.

“Okay. I'll stay.” Elvis smiles, obviously relieved.

“Come on, you can wait down here.” He holds her elbow and leads her down the stairs to the TV room. Jo takes one look at the plush couch and smiles nervously. “I'll be back in just a minute. It'll be quick; I promise.”

She tries to perch on the edge again, but it's so soft and inviting that not long after he leaves, she's asleep. When he comes back down about fifteen minutes later, he finds her with her shoes off, snuggled on the couch sleeping soundly. He chuckles when he remembers that she stayed up all night and then went to work while he slept. She really is something else.

There's just enough room between her head and the corner of the couch for him to sit, so he positions himself there, careful not to touch or disturb her in any way. He clicks the TVs on and turns the volume down, looking down at her while she sleeps. With her haircut and big eyes, she's like a little fairy. He runs his fingertip down the side of her cheek gently and is overwhelmed with the desire to lean over and kiss her, but he doesn't.

Despite sleeping all morning, he's tired too, and before too long he's passed out as well. Without thinking, he snuggles into the corner and puts his legs up on the couch next to her, not even conscious of how close this makes them. She stirs a little when he does and groggily lifts her head, moving her body up to be in the crook of his arm. Neither of them is really aware of what's happening, but they cuddle there on the couch sleeping for the better part of three hours. At one point Jerry comes downstairs and smiles at the scene. It's been awhile since he's seen his boss this comfortable with someone new.

Jo’s stomach is the one that wakes her up. She worked through lunch, so she's starving. It rumbles and she opens her eyes sleepily. For a second, she has no idea where she is or who this man is that she's laying with. She sits up so quickly that it wakes Elvis up too.

“You're awake.” He stretches and pulls her back down against his chest.

“You're Elvis Presley.” His chest rumbles with a chuckle and she smiles.

“That I am, honey.”

“I'm sorry; I didn't mean to fall asleep.” This position is so habitual that he presses his lips to her forehead without thinking and mumbles.

“It's okay. I know you were up all night talkin’ with some old fool.” His hand runs up and down her arm as they talk.

“Yeah, my favorite old fool on the planet. And besides, you're not that much older than me.” He scoffs.

“Honey, do you know how old I am?”

“I've been a fan of yours since 1955. I know how old you are. I'm 36.” His hand freezes and he looks down at her. He would've sworn she was in her mid 20s.

“Are ya really, honey?” She nods against him.

“You wanna see an ID?”

“Nah, I trust ya, I'm just surprised. You look a lot younger.” For the first time since he called, Jo starts to doubt herself.

“Is it a problem?” She sits up and looks down at him where he shakes his head nervously.

“No! No. Women don't have expiration dates.” They look at each other for a minute, both of them wondering what it would feel like to press their lips against the other’s. Jo’s stomach growls again and breaks them out of their trance. “We need dinner. Come on.”

They peel themselves off the couch and go upstairs. Elvis arranges dinner for them and they eat together in the dining room, laughing and talking through the whole thing. At the end of the night, Elvis is dying to ask her to stay, but he's still afraid of what her expectations might be. She's a grown woman, not a girl, and he doesn't want to disappoint her. Instead, he takes her hand and kisses the back of it gently.

“Goodnight, Jo.”

“Goodnight, Elvis.” She smiles up at him softly, wishing he would kiss her. “Will I, um, will I see you again?”

Her heart flutters and she's afraid to even ask, but she has to know. This might've been a beautiful dream and nothing more.

Elvis hesitates for a second. He's reluctant to make any real promises, but he does want to see her again.

“Oh, well, Jo, um…” She shakes her head.

“It's okay. I shouldn't have asked. I'm just thankful for the 24 hours I got with you. G’night.” Before he can say anything else, she practically runs out the front door and down to her car. She doesn't want him to see that she's crying. Even though he's only known her for a day, she's known him for most of her life, and it hurts that he doesn't love her like she loves him. She knows it's an outrageous expectation, but some part of her thought that if she could just get to him, it would happen. So she cries all the way to her car and all the way back to her apartment and if she wasn't so tired, she probably would cry all night long.

Elvis watches her go and the full, heavy ache of loneliness settles in his chest again. But she's too grown up, too sure of herself, too much her own person. It would never work. And besides, when she really got to know who he is now, she'd leave like all the others. Best to save himself that heartache. He goes back in the house and up the stairs to bed, takes another handful of pills and calls it a night.

But he misses her in his arms, the big bed feeling cold and empty.

******

Will they see each other again?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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[xoxostargirlsblog]

5894 Words // Book: No Surprises • 5 Chapters

Inspiration: Me Before You, Me, The Fault in Our Stars and Lana del Rey songs

Summary: You have an illness and believe that everything is over, but what would happen if you fell in love?

Warnings: Mentions of illness, deep conversations, cute Rafe.

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Chapter One • New York, December

It was the arrival of another depressing Christmas for you. Everything was dry and dead for you. You were dying and it seemed like you were the only one who knew about it. Everyone was "hopeful" but you were the only realistic one. But anyway, it was December 1st. You were free to spend Christmas at home, that was the only good thing that had happened... well, that's what you thought.

You had (COPD) a very serious lung disease and were hospitalized for years, trying to survive each day, everyone felt sorry for you. You were a sweet and happy person before you were diagnosed with that disease ater he became a cold, pessimistic, serious person, who used acid humor.

"Y/N, You are authorized to spend Christmas at home," your doctor says with a gentle smile.

"That's great, I couldn't stand this place anymore" you say getting off the stretcher and sitting in a wheelchair, your legs were weak because of the illness

"Oh, come on. Don't be so pessimistic, you have friends here." Your doctor says guiding your wheelchair to the exit of the room.

"What friends?!" You say, amazed that you didn't even see a fly in that old and peaceful hospital.

"Of course it's me." Your doctor says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. You just roll your eyes in derision.

Your parents were there waiting for you at the hospital door. You take a deep breath because you don't know what's coming next.

"Daughter! I miss you so much!" Your mother runs to hug you even though you're in a wheelchair, and your father does the same thing too.

"Hello sir and madam...Y/n have shown improvement since last week. So I decided to reward you by letting you spend Christmas with you."

The doctor speaks in a serious manner and his parents react in the same way.

"See Sn! What great news" your father says smiling in dark circles

"But...just in case, I'll send a sub-nurse to keep an eye on you until the end of Christmas."

The doctor says and you immediately become revolted

"What?! Seriously? I don't need a babysitter," you say, completely angry.

"It's just to be on the safe side, if anything happens, he'll be there and help you. By the way, his name is Rafe Cameron."

The doctor says and you can't even look at him because you're so angry. You and your parents were already in the car and they wouldn't stop talking about how much fun it was going to be the most Christmas ever. You can't I was very excited before, but I was even more discouraged knowing that there will be people watching me (Rafe Cameron)

Arriving at your house, you are faced with snow on the ground, ice on several parked cars, and all the houses are quite decorated, especially yours. I'm sure your parents tried hard to try make you like the decoration is sincerely You loved it.

"Did you make cookies, Mom?" You ask, entering the house and giving a cute smile as you smell the fresh cookies.

"Yes daughter, it was made just for you." Your mother says, taking your scarf off your neck. Your parents were good parents, after all, they just wanted the best for you.

"Thank you," you say, sitting on the couch. You couldn't stay standing for long.

You were talking about life, making small talk with your parents. But suddenly the campaign starts playing.

"Who could it be?" His mother says, getting up from the table and going to open the door.

"Hello, my name is Rafe Cameron. I'm going to be the nurse at the hospital." Rafe appears in the doorway, giving his mother a slight smile.

"Oh sure! The doctor told me about you. Come on, let's come in!" His mother says, making room for Rafe to enter.

Rafe walks into the house and her eyes immediately meet his. He was gorgeous, muscular, tall and had a wonderful look.

"Hello Y/n, I'll be your nurse until the end of Christmas. I hope to help with anything you need," Rafe says with a gentle smile that made her heart flutter.

You didn't answer anything, you were mesmerized enough to be able to answer. But you nodded so as not to seem like a complete stranger.

"Come on Rafe, sit down, we're going to dinner now" His mother says with a gentle smile.

Well, you, Rafe and your parents sit down. The conversation is quiet between your parents and Rafe. He seemed like a knight, he was so polite, you were feeling small next to him. You were sitting at the table waiting for dinner and Rafe sat next to you giving you a simple smile you returned. Your mother makes a face since you weren't so nice to strangers.

"So Rafe nurse how long?" His father asking stirring dinner

"Well, I studied business administration because my father made me work for his company, but my dream has always been to help people."

Rafe explains that all you could smell was his cologne that was driving you crazy. All you could think about was his hands pulling up your dress...Oh God this was so wrong, but he was so handsome and hot... you couldn't refuse.

"So Sn? What do you think?" Your father asks taking you out of your inappropriate thoughts.

"Oh...and...sorry, what were you talking about?" You ask hypnotized after coming out of your tase.

"About horror movies, who is the best villain" Rafe clarifies with his deep and hoarse voice making you shiver

"Ah... yeah... well, I really like Freddy Gruguer" you reply with a quick smile.

"He's cool, but he's not as good as Jason," Rafe says as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Seriously? A masked guy who has no story, Freddy is definitely the best" You say feeling offended for being a big Freddy fan

"Okay, I think you're not right in the head, who in their right mind prefers Jason over Freddy?" Rafe says clearly trying to irritate you in a joking way.

Your parents laugh at the silly fight you were having with Rafe, and Rafe himself laughed at it. Time passed and everyone went to bed, Rafe went with you and that was making you nervous.

"So? Are you going to sleep with me or what?" You ask clearly jokingly, making Rafe feel awkward on purpose.

"No! No, God, I'm just going to give you your medicine and see if you're okay." Rafe stutters, making you laugh at his nervousness.

"Hey, relax, I do these kinds of pranks. If you're going to stay with me until the end of Christmas, I think you'd better get used to it."

You say giving him a gentle smile and that relieves him, it seemed like that smile calmed Rafe, who himself found it strange.

"Well...let's see how your breathing and heart rate are" Rafe says preparing the doctor's things to see if you were okay.

He puts his hand on your back and another on your chest to check your heart rate. This gives you goosebumps and makes your heart beat faster than it should.

"I think...he's going a little too fast. Are you okay? You seem nervous." Rafe says in a hoarse voice.

"Yeah..I'm fine" you say trying to calm down and hoping he doesn't notice.

Rafe finished what he was doing and wrote everything down in a notebook, I think it was some kind of report. He makes you comfortable on your bed. Rafe looks at you for a moment and gives you a smile.

"What was that?" You ask through the smile

"What was what?" Rafe asks already knowing what it was

"Why are you smiling at me?" You ask without fear of speaking

"You're beautiful." Rafe says..

Next Chapter - November 24th

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