#ill just go back to bed then
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no lets talk about how george is constantly calling lockwood out on his feelings for lucy
#hes so right for it though#george karim#anthony lockwood#anthony bloody lockwood#lockwood and lucy#locklyle#lucy carlyle#lockwood and co#lockwood & co#l&co#obviously the#you gave her a free pass because you like the way she looks at you#but also things like#when lockwood tells lucy well do this together#and george goes#ill just go back to bed then#brooo#like a slap
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(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.
Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!
#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#jason todd#(yes for the teddy bear. it counts)#batgirl#batgirls#mine#< keep forgetting to tag my art as that I'm terrible 😭#ANYHOW I'm slowly getting back into drawing again after my last ipad got nuked (cant think abt that or ill cry) and i finished uni#oh yeah j finished my first year of uni btw. i went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert like a week or 2 ago. I've been busy lol#but yeah it's looking like I've got a fun summer of bottom feeding ahead of me now that I've officially been told i got passed over for that#-comic job i applied for. lol. lmao even#it's fine honestly it was a pretty daunting prospect i just have to find a way to fill the time by myself now#I've plenty of comics to read so that's nice. got wayyy into mark waids DD run recently (mostly for Chris Samnee's art)#so that's been fun! i have my empowered omnibus (embarrassing and kept under my bed <3) i have TT year 1 i have huntress and WW#uhhh i got flash 1 minute war. lots of good stuff!#so hopefully i don't go. completely feral from lack of stimulation#also hopefully commissions will be a thing i can do#godddd there's many mkre things i want to draw. i got too enamoured w my own bad theory and now I've drawn tim!bats#but unfortunately now i only want to draw tim!bats being laughed at my the batfamily bc seriously tim?? really??#< it's literally probably not going to happen but I've invested myself in this terrible future for some reason#imagine damian trying to robin for tim!bats for 1 (one) night and the next morning he doesn't say anything he just moves to bludhaven#he can't take this shit#oh so many ideas...#ANYWAY. ues. finally art. now if you like it. consider commissioning me (in 2 to 3 business weeks <3)#(no pressure)
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it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
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#ill be back laterrrr#december just aint my month haha#trying not to get so burnt out bleh#also not posting wips anymore i think i'll stay motivated to finish SOMETHING lol#loz#totk#legend of zelda#master kohga#yiga clan#age of calamity#going to lie in bed for like a week#too anxious to check my msgs im sorrrrry
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bro you cant do that to him... denying an ill man his curry is so means......
transcript under the cut cuz i know my handwriting is god awful:
Kabu: Would you like me to bring you any food back?
Larry: Curry. Spicy curry. For my sinuses.
Kabu: Spicy Curry? Do you like Spicy Currys?
Larry: I like you dont I?
Kabu: ....
Larry: ....
Kabu: When did YOU suddenly get so smooth, hm,
Larry: Who said I wasn't this smooth all along?
Kabu: Im no longer getting you a curry.
Larry very softly: Noooo
Kabu: Okay- Okay- Okay- LARRY.
#pokemon#gym leader larry#gym leader kabu#silverstreakshipping#aokabu#comic#i didnt mean to infect larry with my illness but i was thinking abt the other post where i gave him a fever n this appeared on the page#thibking larry refuses all help when dealing with a cold n tries to just get on with stuff but. kabu. man of Peak fitness is like. no.#go rest Please. pushes larry back into bed. i will get you food if u promise to stay and rest. n larry is convinced kajdksjd#anyway. im feeling better im at my laptop again finally. feels like its been years
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hiiii.. 🙃🙃
#ts4#the sims 4#ts4 edit#late night sim posting but its ok! who needs sleep anyway....#second sim kinda sorta inspired by cocona from xg except im really bad at making irl people in the sims soo..#anyway not sure if ill get back into posting regularly anytime soon. i have a gp save rn that i play like once a week when i have time#but tbh its so hard for me to have the motivation to play rn but thats just how it is during the school year 🤷♀️#and i might not have that much time in the summer since i miiiiight be studying abroad for a month (idk we'll see..)#will most likely continue lurking for the next few months tho :)#ok jfc enough rambling im going to bed gn sleep tight or have a good day <33
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Okay, probably not a hot take, but imma scribble about it anyway,
I honestly think Cale Hetinuse/Kim Rok Soo has chronic pain/fatigue.
Like, everybody loves the whole coughing up blood/wet meow meow thing he's always doing, but personally? People who are that nonchalant about Shit Happening To Their Body, are typically people who are waaaaay too used to Fucked Up Shit Happening To Their Body,
It's just a head canon, but as someone who is chronically in pain, I absolutely do some of the stupid shit CH/KRS does, like carrying stuff I should NOT be carrying, or continuing to Do Things even when I should be sitting and resting. I also know several people who (like me) can be experiencing level 4-5 pain and not show a hint on their face/through their actions besides maaaaybe moving a bit slower/stretching more
And we know KRS has been on his own since he was itty bitty... And then he grew up in a world hell bent on killing everyone. I can't help but think that a tiny child with no one to help him with the general cuts/bruises/little hurts of childhood would 1) have zero frame of reference for what "okay" actually looks like 2) probably has never really received medical care beyond emergency assistance (which does jack for chronic conditions) and 3) has NEVER really had someone in his life long enough for them to catch his way of coping with pain (my very close friends can hear when I'm hurting/tired, everyone else only notices if I am visibly incapacitated)
So, Kim Rok Soo ends up in a world/body that "technically" hasn't experienced his life, HOWEVER fibromyalgia and PTSD are like goddamn pb&j. It's a condition that is deeply tied to a body's stress response. And what does Cale say once he has the Heart? "I feel BETTER"
And that just speaks to me of a person who is so used to pain, that it no longer really registers... I had daily headaches for 7 years, it wasn't until I moved and got a new primary that I found out that more than 4 headaches in a month was considered a concern... I got on some migraine meds and actually stopped having that daily headache, something id just accepted as "how my body works" gone,
I personally don't consider pain at a 1-2 as particularly bothersome, it's more like a general annoyance. Onces it's up to 6-7 it's hard for me to move, and yet I often will still do so, despite the pain. It's only at 9-10 so I stop moving entirely and focus on just weathering it. Usually when that happens, I sleep so much after as my body tries to recover.
And when I read Cale, so casually continuing forward, despite the work he takes on himself, after the constant planning and prepping and ass kicking, all I see is a person who has lived so long with his body's suffering that it's just background noise. Yeah, he coughed up some blood, but the pain is back to "normal" so how can he raise a fuss? He killed 3 monsters with a dislocated shoulder that one time, this? This is easy. And despite claiming his body is weak, he refuses to truly accept the help and rest he needs because (like I used to) Cale thinks "this is just how my body works"
Sometimes, I cannot remember how I lived prior to my pain. Sometimes, I cannot imagine a world where I do not spend half the night attempting to force my muscles to relax, so I can actually sleep. I cannot imagine a world where I am able to do everything I want in a day and not collapse at the end. And I see so much of myself in how Cale continues to move despite the weight of the ancient powers, the expectations of the gods and his own personal hopes. He seems like a character doomed to continue walking, his bones broken but refusing the care because whats the point if everything still hurts the same way in the end?
Anyway, Raon should invent a cure for chronic illness and force Cale into a year long sabbatical
#trash of the count's family#lout of the count’s family#cale henituse#kim rok soo#listen okay#i am at the grocery store cafe sitting trying to recover enough to grab my 5 things and drive home#i am exhausted enough that i think i may end up in bed the minute i walk back inside my house#never have i wanted more to be able to teleport#and thus I began thinking about The Blorbo and realized... shit i am being kinda stupid#and it IS okay for me to just ficking go home and get stuff another day#i dont have to try and cram 15 things into one thing#one thing is plenty#and thus i felt like rambling about said blorbo as encouragement#but very seriously as a chronic illness girlie CH/KRS is One Of Us#i have declared him a spoonie who is in massive denial and i will not be taking any questions#load that boy down with whatever ails you#he probably has it#eventually i will expound on my Han Yoojin's leg is still fucked up but he's hiding it essay#however rn is goal: get fucking home time
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Tw for weight loss mention
The whole exercise will cure your disability thing is a fucking joke. Yes exercise is beneficial for your health, but only if you aren't already on shaky foundations. You need to be on a treatment plan that WORKS before going into the maintenance phase. You wouldn't do regular maintenance on a broken item, you'd work on getting it up and running first. And maybe it would even need specialized maintenance afterwards if it's especially fragile.
I have fibromyalgia and acute degenerative disc disease. My immune system attacks my nerves and discs in my spine are slowly calcifying and causing the bones to constrict and damage my nerves (i think thats how it works). I have days where it feels like my body is on fire from nerve pain and days where it feels like my spine is about to rip from my back. And days where I have both (like today!). I get numbness in my hands and feet. I have horrible migraines. I can no longer walk unaided more than maybe 5 minutes without severe pain. I have something wrong with my knees and hips but the doctors don't know what yet.
You'd think I live an obviously seditary lifestyle correct?
Hell no.
I walk aided on average 6 miles a day over difficult terrain OUTSIDE of regular activity almost everyday. My legs are muscular and strong. I get my heart rate up and a good sweat, like all the gym rats swear on. I am often doing physical labor such as weeding, digging, sample collecting, pruning trees etc.
I'm not saying this to make other disabled people feel bad or prove that they can do anything if they just tried harder. This is an extremely painful lifestyle I've chosen that takes a lot of lifestyle management AND BOUNDARIES to keep up with the work. I also have an extremely forgiving boss who is also physically disabled and knows what I'm going through (deciding between your passion and your health and having to do so each and every day) No one should ever be expected to do what I do. I'm not even sure if I should be doing this myself.
This is to prove that exercise? Has not cured me. My muscles are strong but still hurt as if they're broken and I have to take more breaks than my coworker. I am constantly getting out of breath and I flare up regularly if I'm not careful. I am in excellent physical condition outside of my disabilities. I go to different doctors several times a month to get checked out.
I previously went through a diet program and lost a lot of weight (basically starving myself and got off my depression meds which cause weight gain but are also the only ones that work) and guess what? That didn't do shit either!!! I still felt horrible!!! I've since gained back the weight anyway after switching to focusing on adding more nutrient dense foods than taking stuff away from my diet (also muscle weighs more than fat, and fat helps cushion my aching joints and spine).
The muscle doesn't do shit for my disabilities outside of maybe some stability. Exercising everyday doesn't make the pain go away. Without my medications and aids and nutrition plans and steroid injections and spinal adjustments and physical therapy (that takes my fibro and spine into account) and alternative work methods I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I DO. Exercise alone is like trying to make a car run with no oil. Yes it'll go but it'll get more and more damaged till it can't and will need its entire engine replaced!
And yet I see new doctors and they look at me and the first thing out of their mouths is do I exercise? I should try doing a little every day :) and then i fucking blow their minds when I tell them about my job. No longer can they use that fucking cop out on me. I've been through this rodeo. Ive tried their suggestions. If you are in pain and nothing is helping? Exercise ain't going to do SHIT. You need to get to a point where you can move without severe pain first (if that's even possible). Then and only then should you consider implementing regular exercise if you can. Also weight loss talk is a red flag and a cop out. They made me lose 50+ lbs before they would look into the reasons behind my pain. Weight loss did nothing for me and exacerbated my pain.
I am living proof that all that shit is a lie and a cop out. That is the point of this post. I cannot believe people with serious medical conditions are being forced to put their bodies through extreme duress just to be believed. You are not disabled because of laziness or because you sit a lot. Plenty of people live seditary lifestyles and do not live in constant excruciating pain (they may develop disabilities later in life due to this however, and should be doing preventative exercises to maintain their health)
Please, share my story with doctors. Use me as an example. I am proof that "exercise first treat later" does not work. I should not have had to wait years to have my pain validated. I'd rather hundreds of fakers get (what? A blood test? An MRI?) than one chronically ill person get told to try yoga and go away by a doctor.
#wrenfea.exe#doctors and nurses dont fucking clown on this post#anything you say needs to be backed up by sources with apa citation thrown in for good measure#this is my personal experience dont tell me im exaggerating or just havent tried hard enough#i will kick you with my horse legs and then go lie down for 4 hours#bedbound people i am sending you so much love and will probably be joining you in a few years#chronic disability#chronic pain#spoonie#fibromyalgia#disability#chronic illness#from the field#physically disabled#this also applies to neurodivergent and mentally ill people but pls don't derail#this is mainly about physical disabilities#you are welcome to make your own post and reference mine if you want @ me and ill reblog it#sometimes im like oh i cant be disabled bc i do all this stuff im a faker inflatrating the community#and then i have days like today where i cannot leave my bed#i am so pissed off that people with long covid and ME have to go through that fucking exercise rehabilitation program#that actively makes their mitochondria worse#you wouldnt start using a vase without fixing the cracks first#the water will spill out and the flower will die#degenerative disc disease
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At some point in your life you'll realize that pulling all-nighters isn't worth it most of the time and that you can as well just go to sleep and have a good rest instead of feeling miserable in front of that word document while you aren't even physically able to write that another paragraph because your eyes sway to the side, your hands are shaking, your eyelids are heavy and you feel like you might have an out of body experience very soon. Sometimes you need to stay up all night, when your life depends on it (more or less), there are situations for which these type of measures are appropriate and necessary but you gotta ask yourself - is this really worth feeling drained and tired? Is it worth having the days blur and stretch like some sort of never ending purgatory? Nay it is not, hear my words and remember them when the eepyness comes to gather it's daily crops.
#its hard to pull all nighters now when i realize there is literally nothing holding me back from going to bed and sleeping at least 6 hours#i wish i could but my brain is completely altered and any time im not in danger of being screamed at for not doing something on time#i will just. go sleeb. go and rest. cause nothing ill do from that point will be as good as of i did it well reste#d#rambling#also i love sleeping i love that and I don't understand why i have been denying myself this simple pleasure#for sooo long. so long....
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ocd is weird bc I definitely still have it, I just got really good at identifying it and shutting it down. Like I was taking down a gross medical sticker on my wall that for some reason I stuck up there last year, and my brain was like “no don’t do it. You’ll die if you do that” so I put it back on and my brain was like “or…maybe life will get way better if you take if off. And if you leave it life will get worse. Want to make that choice” and I was like really stumped over it, then suddenly I was like ohhhhh ocd you tricky devil… and tore the sticker off. I go thru this exact experience about thrice a week.
#ocd#Just a peek into my twisted mind……#Jokes aside ik this probably still sounds weird and mentally ill#But trust me on this#It’s way better than it sounds#At least comparatively#Back in 2020 I literally didn’t piss for 2 days because I thought pissing would cause the world to end#Like me at 15 was legit contemplating suicide bc it got to a point where I couldn’t even move#Without being convinced it would end the world#So all I could do was just lay in bed and I couldn’t grab my phone either bc that would also end the world I guess#Couldn’t blink freely had to do like one blink two fast blinks one slow blink#Damn just remembering how much it tormented me before I got a handle on it is actually pissing me tf off Wtf#Fuck ocd I fucking hate ocd#I’m so glad I outsmarted it#Shit was easy too#Bc the way my ocd worked was it was just completely spontaneous#There were certain patterns especially w numbers (like I couldn’t interact w the numbers 6 or 4)#But for the most part it was just whatever my brain decided was bad in that exact moment#Which was why it got as bad as it did so quickly#But that was also why I was able to go “ok well if I obey any compulsion all my fears will come true”#And that WORKED#IT WORKED FUCKING PERFECTLY#SO FUCKING DUMB#who even needs therapy I’m fucking Mr. Mental health. Fuck uou#tw compulsions#tw ocd#tw sui mention#< sui mention is in tags
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There's this particular flavour of frustration from feeling lonely and isolated due to chronic illness while simultaneously feeling repulsed over being seen at your lowest not even just irl but digitally as well and i dont know what to do to distract myself from this physical pain
#idk how to make my bed better for me either like pillows etc#rn i am not doing myself any favours for my entire body but man#idk what to do ill just pray i can play some switch at least without my hands dying and/or my head and eyes exploding#also my jaw hates it but i dont have proper back support so i gotta lay down and#god my thumbs are killing me typing this LMAO doing well over here#going to go insane one of these days and thats almost a promise#silvi talks#or complains and whines about health like always because got nothing else of worth rn LMAO
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ok making these tags a separate post just so i have this like. on my blog bc its been in my head for days since a blog i was following posted a pretty nasty rant about "fetishist creeps" who talk about gerards gender and it messed with me.
#barry.txt#not naming the blog or posting the rant bc my goal isnt to like harass anyone or start some flame war#just like. i dont think i get super vulnerable on here a lot and this is something that genuinely hurt me and i wanna talk abt it#i also think the fandoms fear of or even disgust towards talking abt gerards gender in earnest holds back the ability#to fully discuss mcr bc its not like. a small thing its so There that even when ppl werent talking abt it we were talking abt it#gerards gender identity and struggles with/against masculinity are So present in mcrs discog#i should head to bed (or go in the terrible influence tag bc my show was earlier tonight)#so ill wrap it up before this turns into a second long rant
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SURGERY WENT WELL apparently my appendix did rupture overnight so its hella good I got it checked out when I did😬 I just feel a lil bloated and like I got shanked but that's better than before🤘
#i thank my grandma for getting me off my ass to do this bc i was just gunna try to pass it off as shitty immune system and BOI#i gotta stay here overnight Again bc i gotta take antibiotics for the rupture but at leaat im in my own room with a ~new bed~#instead if the ER dear god the amounts of screams and wails of agony while my ass was dying of thirst i thot i was gunna lOSE MY DAMN MINDD#ngl i almost got emotional when i was finally given water to drink afterwards plus a Gatorade shewwww started feeling like sam and frodo on#that volcano LMFAOOO#but yeah recoverys going to be Annoying but oh well ill get back on my bullshit soon enough
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hey does anyone have any tips for how to convince an adhd brain with executive dysfunction and also chronic back pain to do its physical therapy exercises regularly . like . at least twice a week .
#just blahs#help#im about to go to bed but ill probably be up a while just bcs of back pain#i was like . actually *going* to pt for a while#but i finished that and they were like hey you arent fixed you still should do your stretches once or twice a week#and i#have not figured out how to do that yet#and now my back is killing me about it again#anyways
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happy weekend, friendos <333
it's going to be another quiet one from me as i recover from a really physically taxing week, BUT!!!!!!! if you're on the lookout for some wonderful writing to boggle your mind and some beautiful art to boggle your eyeballs, you should really check out this year's amazing contributions to @untildawn-secretsanta!!!!!!!
scroll through the blog! appreciate how many talented people are in this fandom 🥹 it's 100% what i'm going to be doing this weekend as my brain and body patch themselves back up :P
🫶🫶🫶
#queenie rambles#six sentence weekend#PUH-LEEEEEEEEASE go check out all the beautiful gifts from this year - everyone on the blog deserves so much love#i fully intend on getting back to prompt fills and stuff asap it's just. been a lot over here guys lol#what they don't warn you about growing up is that you WILL hit an age where like. you are. very responsible for funeral stuff. lmao.#it's all behind me now and i'm really hopeful 2025 will be. different for me.#but today the chronic illness is illnessing and i fully plan on staying in bed and snacking napping and crying hahahahahahaha#i made the rookie mistake of pretending i didnt have chronic fatigue this week and surprise - it caught up to me 😔
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how I'm feeling after the update as a cainlaner
#me chanting “ya allah” for twenty minutes as i read every cainlane scene#i'm literally fucking dead and inconsolable and fundamentally changed as a person#i'm gone#cain i won't ever speak ill of you again i take everything back you're not just an emo mcr listening bitch to me#i can't. i can't. i can't. i need to go to bed#rc hsr#rc heaven's secret requiem#rc cain#cainlane#I'M DEAD
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