#that volcano LMFAOOO

[toxooz]

SURGERY WENT WELL apparently my appendix did rupture overnight so its hella good I got it checked out when I did😬 I just feel a lil bloated and like I got shanked but that's better than before🤘

[spinnysocks]

more tlg outlanders as memes

that last one is especially bc of this post hgfhfhg

i love doing these sm if you have any suggestions lemme know >:)

[redeyeballhat]

honoring my 5th grade tradition of having a bar in my den(????)

by working on a like. proper lounge

[starcatchingsnake]

This shit is hysterical

why didn't they just leave pompeii when the volcano erupted? were they stupid?

[dekarios]

"HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF" MEME

tagged by @eternalergo & @lurakha !!! ^_^

im so bad at shit like this LMFAOOO sorry its lookin so low effort i ... i did my best o7

the character is ardbert final fantasy if life was kind to me i would be 1:1 a copy of him irl ... the fashion says "i never dreamed that one day i'd become a grumpy old man but here i am killin' it" because thats the dream baby thats the goal im gonna wear that shirt ... the object is afhiri gremlin from jellycat @vorgoth got me for christmas last year <33 ... place is just a chalk stream in the uk hehe they are sooo lovely theyre the bestest ... i didnt include a jumping spider picture to be a mercy on those i tag but please imagine theres a very cute one there :( .... song would be mines (cloth) or mines (icicles) or volcano mines (molten jelly) or volcano mines (forgotten world) so i just picked the sdv ost in general LOL .... my job is gamer :) ........ for food i picked the ideal meal : turkey dinosaurs and an ultra pineapple monster SLKDFJSDF .. colour yellow ^_^ !! ....... ok i did it

idk if i did this right ^_^ hehe

tagging everyone who liked this post undercut :3c

@magmethius @minrathousrain @hatsune @alistairstheirins

@quendiviner @magicmissiled @heavenfelll @evkaivo

@azatas @arborstone @fields-of-rye @talizoraa

@kadefox @demonia @carlosoliveiraa @tunarath

@lusus--naturae @theoldwest @timothylawrence @vieille-femme-moisie

@full---ofstarlight @ottobooty @left4dead @covenscribe

@lovedu @astarionsdarling @wormskul @ratscrap @darkwehl

@andrwminward @ch3rrybomb @vanoefucks @charico

@prettyjellyfish @cavesallegory @rosenfey @velnat004

@panicbroadcast @jerichoes @mt07131 @censorship

@crysdrawsthings @hellionsheart @hiddenbeks @palladium-poisoned

@sadchtulhu @anakinsthesis @ikarons @fluffy-top

@deadrlngers @frootabooga @vampireposter @agapimenos

@asharaks @kdval @edgepunk @jeanstapleton

@luttare @pathogenic @drhu0806 @steamclouds

@estevnys @pawnguild @nerdferatum @agothorn

@demisaurus @xhinc @eloquentspeeches @fair-lead

@radioactive-synth @rcpunzel @commandermahariel @ehlnofaey

@heinrix @localbisexualgenius @thedeadthree @jurispotence

@esmecarmona @ritualslaughter @gojjosatoru @gothimp

@johnnystorm @vampireposter @celticwoman @golden-ailment

@moltara @barking @mikumoroll @shadowsofrose

@mnasthaii @fllagellant @manakhemia @numiidiium

@alexios @elphael @fjorrd @wendingswoods

@darthyolk @cuntservant @vyrantium

[nyarnamaitar]

I suck at art lol sorry but I felt inspired so here's a quick drawing of cassowary Melkor XD

this is FANTASTIC, omg!!! (you don't suck at art at all, what???)

i love the small volcano on his head, lmfaooo

manwë thinks his brother's bird fána is very cute and pretty (everyone else keeps a safe distance)

after walking him for a while and preening his feathers (melkor would NEVER admit to anyone --and least of all himself-- how much he enjoys this), manwë brings him back to mandos, all aired out and clean

(námo isn't sure that melkor deserves these little walks, but he'll take every chance he can get to rid his halls of his king's demon brother, be it only for an afternoon, thank you very much)

[uvonobu]

Day 19 of pt doodles, day 9 of cringetober! The prompt today was childhood game. I did wii party cause that was genuinely the only thing I would play as a kid sorry these both look so scuffed… It’s late and I’m not good at chibis can u tell LMFAOO

Live phantom troupe reaction

Shal told them it was a luck based game. He said anyone could win. “The odds are in your favor!” He said as he absolutely bodied all of them in the minigames. Man u you’d think they’d learn by now LMFAOOO

Also Feitan got sent to The Volcano™️ five times he’s abt to crash out

[spamlets-blog]

hi you don't know what you've unleashed give me about two hours

LMFAOOO i love volcanoes i used to obsessively read books about them, i cant wait to see what you say about that one 💕

[violentviolette]

u know I thought fat femme fashion was shit and lacking but jesus christ if ur fat and masc ur only option is to go fuck urself I guess

trying to find a pair of 3x swim trunks that don't look like a literal garbage bag like im captain fucking Ahab over here

[patchesenthusiast]

I was making dinner when i cam eup with this. I felt you would appricate it Fyra, smelling like sulfur and crying: IT TOOK ME TO A VOLCANO NOT THE CAPITAL

Patches, actually feeling a little guilty: Awwww. it must of been a different iron maiden i was thinking of! No harm done though, you're here right?

LMFAOOO i hate that you cant confront patches about him sending you to volcano manor because he moves to Gelmir and Volc Manor

LIKE BRO PULLED THE BEST PRANK AND FOR WHAT?! FROMSOFT CMON

[no-psi-nan]

Extra Love Stories of Psychics Volume 2

Experimental Censored Edition

Chapter 4: A Lacy Day In

Aiura has hella cramps but she's being so brave about it, because there's no way she's gonna miss out on today's big date with Kusuo! Especially not when it seems like he's in the mood to smooch... 👀

Full chapter on AO3. T-rated version below the cut. More info about the Experimental Censored Edition here.

Censored content: Toned down descriptions of french kissing

[Are you okay, Mikoto?]

[I heard you thinking about pain…?]

"Oh, hey babe! Aww, you look so worried! It's okay Kusuo, I just woke up with killer period cramps today, criiinge…"

[Oh. Umm.]

[I can restore you.]

"I super appreciate the offer, but this would just come back tomorrow!"

[Ah.]

[Good grief… ]

"I guess you could technically keep restoring me over and over??"

[Hey. You lost your chance at eternal youth when you helped me stop the volcano.]

"Haha yeah!! I'm not interested in eternal youth anyways, I want to be a MILF!"

[Pffft. Haha.]

[Okay, I wasn't expecting that.]

"I made you laugh before our date already?? Already feeling better, hell yeah!!"

[Are you really okay to go on our date?]

"Wellll… I know I totes promised a super sexy breakfast before we hit the shops, but it does take like an hour for the painkillers to kick in, y'know?"

[Painkillers?]

[…Oh, that must be medicine, right?]

[The little pills.]

"LMFAOOO yes babe!! I love that you're just a little out of touch with humanity, it's such a mood!"

[Seriously?]

"Yeah! You kinda grew up as a god, so you missed out on some pretty basic human stuff. But that just means that I get to share a new experience with you! And I even get to see it with fresh eyes myself! Like, you're right, it IS whack that people can put lil healing spells in powder balls you swallow! Isn't that amazing??"

[It really is.]

"So like, dw, I'll take my meds and we can get brunch instead, what do you think?"

[Hmmm. Won't that make us late for the movie?]

"Nah, we totes can just skip the shopping. We'll go another time."

[What a pain, I know you were looking forward to shopping.]

[ …We can go tomorrow.]

"Awwwww, really?? Are you sure, Kusuo? We're already going to be out all day, and I know you need to have your chillaxing time!"

[I seriously don't mind shopping too much if it's with you.]

"Awwwww, come here come here come here!!"

[Hehehe… mmm… ]

"You're the sweetest, fr fr!! Love you, Kusuo~!"

[Love you too… ]

[ …Actually, I'm surprised you didn't see this coming.]

"That's valid lmao! Actually, I have a policy about not getting too many spoilers for my day lol. Like, yeah, I'll check for any danger I oughta watch out for every morning, and I'll pull a couple of random fortunes just in case, but otherwise I'd rather go with the flow, y'know? I've actually tried, like, previewing my whole day before and every time it literally sucks so bad. When you know everything that's gonna happen, it's all just kind of a bummer. Even when good things happen, I already knew they were coming, so it just isn't the mood lifter it would normally be. And I seriously felt like watching my day beforehand actually altered my day from what it would've been in a weird way. Fucked up my quantum state cuz I kept observing it, I guess!"

[Good grief… ]

[I've never thought of that before. It surprisingly makes sense.]

"Also there are like normal ways of knowing where you are on your period cycle but I admit I've been hella slacking on that end lol. It's just not as critical when you're not running the risk of pregnancy lmaooooo. If we ever get frisky, then I'll start worrying about it again then. Though… couldn't you technically restore me if I…?"

[Uhh… ]

[ … ]

[I've never– ]

[ … ]

[Theoretically… yes??]

"LMFAOOOOO I'm so sorry to give you a pop quiz before breakfast, babe, omg. Don't you worry about a thing, ya girl's always on birth control for health reasons anyways lol!"

[ …"birth control"…?]

"Omg, do you not know about birth control, babe?"

[ … ]

"Awww, lmao don't look so concerned~ There's a buncha types of birth control that stop ppl from getting preggers! The kind I have is the patch and it's a little sticker I usually have on my lower belly!"

[Ah… That's what it is.]

[What a pain, I thought it was just another sticker for decoration… ]

"LMFAO, not an unreasonable guess!! Nah it's actually meds lol~ I swap it once a week and it's soooo much easier than having to take pills daily at like the exact same time, y'know? It's not like we've fooled under the waist yet and you've gotta wear your gloves anyways, so I figured the patch wouldn't be getting in the way lmao."

[ …No, it really isn't.]

[I didn't know medicine could be on a sticker. Humanity can seriously be amazing… ]

"Ikr? But come on, let's get a little coffee at least while my uterus decides to take it easy~!"

[What a pain… I'm glad I don't have one of those.]

__________

"How're you sooo good at making lattes, babe?? You could srsly be a barista~!"

[No way. I've heard the thoughts of enough baristas to know better.]

"Hahaha, valid lol! …Hmmm… So like, what are you leaning towards, rn? Career-wise, I mean?"

[ … ]

[Good grief. I don't know.]

[Something where I can avoid standing out, I guess.]

[Maybe an office job… ]

"Boooringgg! I don't want to see my poor Kusuo locked up in a cubicle farm with a billion depressed nine-to-fivers, oof!"

[Do you have any better ideas?]

"Hmmm… Actually, yes! You should be my househusband~! I'll take care of bringing home the dough for my bae~!"

[Heh. Seriously??]

"Why not~? Gender roles are literally sooo passé and it's not like I shouldn't be able to afford it, y'know? Plus, if Aketoumi ends up living with us, then it'll be even more comfy money-wise lol. Economies of scale babyyy!!"

[ … ]

[That… does sound really good… ]

[Not having to hide my powers all day… ]

[ … ]

[I'll think about it. But I'm still getting a degree, good grief… ]

"Fair enough lol~! Ya gotta make your mama proud~ Plus, if you drop out, we won't get to live together like this and it's been sooo much fun!!"

[Yes. I feel the same way.]

[ … ]

[I already wish we could all live close together like this in the future… ]

"Hahaha, moooood~! Hey, who knows, maybe Saiko will have another complex ready for us by then, lmao! I'm totes down for being part of his extended friendship harem LOL!"

[What a pain… ]

[I've already heard a few of his guards thinking about us like that… ]

"REALLY?? LMFAOOOOO!"

[Seriously not sure how I feel about being considered part of a harem… ]

[ … ]

[What's that?]

[More birth control?]

"Oh, this? Nah, it's more like a funky little sticker you put on your lower tummy and it heats up to soothe your muscles! Heat really helps with the cramps and it's gonna start working faster than the pills, y'know? Want to make double sure I'm good to go for our date later today~!"

[Hmm… ]

[I can heat your muscles directly with pyrokinesis.]

"Whaaat?? For realsies??"

[Yes.]

"That is… so freaky, ngl… But hey, I'll try almost anything once, let's gooooo!"

[Good grief. Should I be worried about why you said 'almost' anything?]

"Hahaha, no worries babe~!"

[Well… If you say so… ]

[Give me a few seconds to get a good look at what I'm heating.]

"UGH… GROSS… I'm so fucking sorry you have x-ray vision, I would literally die if I had that!!"

[Don't be sorry. You're actually the picture of good health.]

[Well. Except for your skeleton.]

[It's healed incredibly well, but you can still see the impact of the truck.]

"4 REAL?? How is that [the picture of good health]??"

[You don't even want to imagine the sorts of things I've seen. Seriously.]

"Yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes!! No fucking thanks!! Sometimes I get a little bit jelly of your powers but then– Oooohhhh god, that feels gooood…"

[Better?]

"Yesssss… okay I'm back to being mad jelly of your pyrokinesis, this is literally SOOOOO much better, I could french you so good rn!!"

[ … ]

"Mmm, that's just the perfect temperature right there, babe~! Could you keep it just that hot without having to like stand around staring at my tummy for an hour lmao?"

[What a pain, I usually need to see what I'm heating.]

"Couldn't you make your hand super toasty and press your hand over here? Not like, AS good as the direct heating you're doing rn but the painkillers should start kickin' in soon anyways!"

[Yes. I can do that.]

[We can sit on the couch and watch something on TV until you're ready.]

"That sounds ballerrrr! Oh– and you're even offering your lap?? HELL yeah!! I get to be all cozy with my Kusuo~! …Mmmm, your hand is nice and toasty~ Ohhh, that's the ticket, I feel soooo much better already~!"

[Heh. I'm glad.]

[ …I seriously don't mind doing this any time you need it.]

"Good to know~! Def gonna take you up on that offer sometime cuz getting cuddled by my bae with a toasty hand on my tummy is obviously the super best way to deal with cramps, for realsies!!"

[Happy to help.]

"Goshhh, I wish I could brag to all my friends about you~! Like obvs I can't mention the psychic powers yadda yadda, but like even just to say how sweet you are as a bf! And I totes understand keeping the deets on the down low for our homies here, cuz yeah, it would be pretty awk to hear ppl thinking about you like that! Especially cuz half the building has had a crush on you at SOME point lmaooooo. But sometimes I just wanna shout from the rooftops how much I love you, y'know? And it would be cool to be able to gush to a bestie without embarrassing you lol. Maybe I could vague-blog about you on a side account lmao?"

[ … ]

["Vague-blog"??]

"Oh, that means posting about smth or someone on social media but like without naming names lmao."

[ … ]

[I'd really rather not be on social media.]

[But… ]

[It's not fair to you either, to have no one to talk to, good grief… ]

[Is there someone… who doesn't live here that you could talk to?]

[I don't mind it if you tell a stranger everything about us. Except the ESP obviously.]

[It would just be seriously embarrassing to encounter someone thinking about me like that… ]

"Really?? What if I told one of my old besties who moved to America? She headed out in middle school so she doesn't know anybody from P.K. at all, plus she'll basically never be around town cuz all her family moved out there too! I could even like use code names since some of our names here are kinda unique lmao."

[That sounds like a great compromise.]

[ … ]

[I should be the one shouting from the rooftops about what a great girlfriend you are, good grief… ]

[Even though you have so many friends and love to talk, you've been so discreet for my sake… ]

"A good fortune teller has to know how to keep stuff in confidence~ But for realsies, I know you're a private guy, so no worries! I'll keep the hot gossip to my homegirls away from home~!"

[Thank you, Mikoto. I seriously appreciate it.]

"Ehehehehe~! Mmmm~! Y'know, I do prefer you using your mouth to kiss me like this than shouting from the rooftops tbh~ With your hand on my tummy, and your chest to my back and your lips on my neck, I literally feel like a queen~ I promise I'll return the favor later, babe~"

[ …Heh. I'm glad.]

[ … ]

[ …You said you could "french" me.]

"Hmmm? Oh yeah, I did say that earlier lol. Like French kissing, y'know? With tongue!"

[I know that much, good grief.]

[ … ]

[I guess I've never tried it before.]

"Do you want to? Try it, I mean?"

[ … ]

[I don't know. It seems… ]

[ … ]

[It seems a little… ]

"Lmao, you can say [gross]! It does seem kinda messy from an outsider pov, lol. You're always so neat and tidy, so I've never tried for sloppy makeouts with you because I figured you might not be into it!"

[ … ]

[But you enjoy it, right?]

"Well, yeah. It's hella different when you're fired up and doing the making out vs watching two strangers get their mack on! Something about the vibe makes it super hot instead of super nasty lol. Hormones are wild yo!!"

[What a pain. It still sounds bizarre.]

"Well, you know I'd be more than happy to help if you ever wanted to try it~ No pressure tho, I'm perfectly happy kissing your cute face when we cuddle~!"

[Hmmm… ]

[ … ]

"Hehehe, you really do want to try, don't you~?"

[ …How can you tell?]

"You give off a different vibe when you're asking something for my benefit or when you're actually curious about it yourself~! But you know I don't want to do anything you're not totes comfy with or ready to try, so it's really up to you to tell me when you want to try something new!"

[That's fair. I do seriously appreciate it.]

[ … ]

[So can we try… kissing… with tongue?]

"Hehe, absolutely~! I'm guessing you wanna give it a go right now, huh~?"

[ …yes.]

"Oooh, a little eager, ain'tcha~? But first we gotta get in the right mood~! The difference between mack and wack is all vibes, y'know? Lemme turn around~"

[Alright… ]

Once she's settled comfortably on his lap Aiura leans in to press a soft kiss onto his mouth. Before Saiki can figure out what to do next, she's already moved on, trailing gentle kisses up his cheek.

His eyes drift shut as she sweeps her lips over as much of his face as she can reach with his glasses in the way. She peacefully covers his face with little kisses, her thoughts hazy and happy as Saiki hums with delight.

"Kusuo, Kusuo, Kusuo~" she sings, toying with the chain around his neck, and he can't resist leaning forward to kiss her back, relishing how her giggles tickle his lips.

Once she has her fill of little kisses, she curls her hands gently around his cheeks, her thumbs tracing just under the bottom edge of his glasses. Saiki starts to sweat, unwilling to lose sight of her gorgeous green irises as they look into each other's eyes.

"Love you," she whispers, caressing his face. "Tell me if you're uncomfy with anything, okay?"

[I will. Love you too… ]

His broadcast is full of jittery, eager energy she can feel in her marrow, and she smiles, fond and grateful that he trusts her with this first experience. She presses another gentle kiss onto his mouth, thumbs stroking sweetly at his cheeks. He startles, but doesn't retreat, his cheeks flushing a bright pink under her thumbs.

[Feels… feels good… ]

With the ring on his finger, Saiki can't hear her answering thoughts, but her eyes crinkle with amusement. She kisses his mouth again. One of her hands slips up his neck to comb affectionately through his hair, and his eyelids droop with pleasure behind his glasses.

[Mmm… ]

The vibe of his psychic broadcast has settled into a sensual fizz, and Aiura grins, knowing he's ready for a little experimentation. She kisses his mouth affectionately once more, then starts kissing him a little deeper. His eyes widen and he freezes, unfamiliar with the sensation. She only hums approvingly against his lips and keeps playing with his hair, until he relaxes, closes his eyes, and opens his mouth a little more for her.

That's her cue to tilt her head and kiss him more. He's clearly uncertain of what he should be doing with another tongue in his mouth, but the way he's carefully tugging her closer to his chest proves that he's enjoying it. She pulls away for breath and he leans in automatically, following her mouth, then pauses when he realizes what he's doing, and flushes a dark pink.

"Ehehehe, Kusuooo~! You liked that huh~?"

[ …yes… ]

[ … ]

[ …you were right. It's seriously different to watch it and to do it… ]

[But good grief… what am I supposed to do when you kiss me like that…?]

"Weeelllll… There's an easy way I can show you~!"

[ …yeah?]

"Yeah~! Just kiss me back and I'll show you how it's done~!"

[ …what a pain, you've only shown me one example and you want me to try it on my own.]

[I'm not convinced that you're a good teacher.]

"LOL true!! But dw babe, I'm not grading you! I promise I've suffered through way worse kisses than any you could do!"

[How do you know that?]

[ESP…?]

"Lmaooo, nahhh! It's just that I'm super into you, so you basically get a +5 bonus on making out~! So like, don't worry about technique or whatever, just do what feels right~ And I see that look– I'll tap your shoulder if you're accidentally hurting me or whatever. I get that you're still totes nervous about your strength, and like it's def a good practice to set up easy ways to communicate consent etc, but you've been super good about holding back and I'm proud of you~!"

[ …thank you.]

[ … ]

[I'm going to kiss you now.]

[Er… French kiss you. Now.]

"Hehehe, plzzzzz do~!"

[Good grief… ]

He approaches her nervously and hesitates, then turns his face to plant a soft kiss on her collarbone. She smiles as he covers her shoulder with sweet kisses, tilting her head to give him room and relaxing into the affection. He slowly works his way up her throat, his jitters soothed by her quiet hums and sighs of bliss.

[Mmmm… ]

He treats her cheek to several plush kisses, then presses his lips against hers with hardly any hesitance, and she tilts her head welcomingly so their noses won't bump together. Encouraged, he carefully mimics how she'd kissed his mouth.

[Mikoto… ]

They kiss deeply for a while, playfully taking turns exploring each other's mouths.

Then she taps his shoulder and he immediately disengages, worry written loudly on his face.

[Are you alright?]

"Y-yeah! Not, not hurt, just– wooo! Just catching my breath…!"

[Oh.]

[Oh.]

[I forgot that normal people can't hold their breath for very long, what a pain… ]

"Hahaha, I was breathing thru my nose but like, a girl still needs more oxygen than that after a while lmao."

[Ah.]

[Wait, so did I do it right…?]

"Oh hell yeah, that was literally a godtier first frencher, daaang! You're going to be devastating the heck out of me with your kisses soon enough~! And the way you say my name or make happy sounds in my head, plus your psychic broadcast?? It's like constant consent check-ins and it's soooo hot knowing just how into it you are?? LITERALLY obsessed… I might have to start tapping out for swooning purposes, omg!!"

[ …you're exaggerating.]

[But this is… fun. I wouldn't mind trying it again.]

"Is that so~? Then how about we kiss a little more rn~?"

[ …I wouldn't be opposed… ]

Her eyes sparkle and she wraps her arms happily around his neck, pressing a whirlwind of little butterfly kisses on Saiki's face. He laughs breathlessly with delight, and as soon as she slows her assault, he returns the volley, pressing slower, sweeter kisses onto her face and neck.

Their lips find each other after a while, and they kiss deeply again, this time taking little breaks for breath. They enjoy increasingly heated kisses, until his glasses start to slip down his nose. They yelp, both rushing to push it back up.

[What a pain… I almost petrified you…!]

"…yeah. Um. Most ppl take off their glasses when making out, tho it's obvs not that easy in your case…"

[Good grief… ]

"Uhh… Sooo like, don't feel pressured or w/e but you know how a girl likes to be prepared?"

[Uh oh.]

[Good grief.]

[What is it?]

"Wellllll… The other day I was kinda thinking about how your glasses would be mega uncomfy for kisses and other fun stuff you might want to try later on… And I think I have a fix? But idk if it'll actually work unless we try it?"

[You have a fix for my petrification that doesn't involve glasses?]

"Ummm, I think so? Uh… Well, basically, you said you have to cover your eyes with something to stop your Medusa gaze, but it doesn't have to be glass exactly, right? Just something not alive. So I figured, how about a blindfold?"

[A blindfold? Seriously??]

"Kusuo, you literally have x-ray vision lmao. And a blindfold can be comfier and fit against your face better than glasses, right? Plus since they're tied on, it's harder for them to slip off even if you're in a weird position!"

[Hmmm… ]

"Wait, that was just my first idea tho. Cuz I didn't really like the thought of not getting to see your pretty purple eyes when we kiss… So I wondered, what if there was some sorta transparent blindfold we could use? And then I realized that sheer fabrics are a thing! And that they should probably work to cover your eyes just enough to stop your power, but like still be almost totally see-through~!"

[That actually sounds like a good idea… ]

[But it would be a pain to test it. I don't want to turn you into stone.]

"Awww! Yeah, I thought you might feel that way lol. I figured maybe we could try with some bugs from the pet store? But like, I wasn't about to keep a bunch of crickets in my closet indefinitely to see if you might want to try my experimental makeout solution, lmfaooo!"

[Ugh, yikes.]

[Good grief. I'd suggest borrowing Nendo's hamster, but I think it would hurt his feelings.]

"Okay yeah I'd feel bad turning someone's pet into stone lol. Like 'whoops, my bad?'. Oof! I mean, I'm pretty sure my idea will work but I'm not like 💯, ya feel?"

[ … ]

[Oh! There are some squirrels that nest in the tree outside Touma-kun's bedroom. They won't notice if they miss a day.]

"Good idea babe! If you accidentally stone one, we can totes just bring it inside until it turns back so it doesn't run the risk of falling out of the tree, right?"

[Exactly.]

"Perf!! So I'm gonna go grab my lil stash of sheer fabrics, and you're gonna meet me in Aketoumi's room with your germanium ring on and without peeking into my 'just in case' box, okay?"

[ … ]

[What a pain. I won't look.]

"Awesome~! But before I go grab that, I do want to make out just a little more if you don't mind~!"

[I do not.]

"Perf, cuz you still taste a teensy bit like coffee rn and I'm suuuper digging it~!"

[Good grief… ]

__________

"Okay, so like here are the softest, sheerest fabrics I've been able to get my hands on! I've got nylon, voile, chiffon, silk organza, batiste, a bit of silk gauze, tulle…"

[These look expensive… ]

"Dw dw, I've been collecting these for a while and just getting little bits n pieces to test~"

[Seriously? How long have you been working on this??]

"Ehehehe, dw lmao! ANYWAYS, why don't you give em a try? I can help you tie on the fabrics if you like~"

[Thank you, but no.]

[It would be a pain if I accidentally caught sight of you.]

[Even if I only saw your hand, you would be petrified!]

"Aight, fair enough lol. Time to check out some squirrels, huh?"

[Let's see if your theory works… ]

[ … ]

[No petrification!]

"SRSLY?? HELL YEAHHH!!!"

[Let's try this next cloth… ]

[ … ]

[This one works too!]

[ … ]

[These all work!]

"YAY!!! That's literally so swag, any of these should be way more comfy for making out than your glasses~!"

[Wait, there's one piece left in here… ]

[Is this… Lace??]

"Haha, yeah! Not exactly as soft or sheer as the other fabrics but like… it would be soooo hot, y'know?? Tbh I don't think it'll work cuz it's got lotsa lil holes in it, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try~!"

[ …Fair enough.]

"Oh wow…! I was right, that is suchhh a look!!! Even just a side view so you don't risk stoning me… Wowowowowow!! Kusuo, wouldya mind snapping a mirror selfie of this one?? I need this pic in my life!!"

[Seriously…?]

[Alright.]

[B. R. B. As you say.]

"OMG??"

[[ ( Teleport ) ]]

"Gooooooshhhh��� What a man… Literally just went to the bathroom next door, but the drama… Oh hey, he sent a pic– OFFU!!! Hot DAMN… Literally begging the universe to let the lace work so I can make out with him like that, PLS!!!!!"

[Heh. Let's see if the universe is feeling generous.]

"Squirrels stay soft, squirrels stay soft, squirrels stay soft, PLEASE–"

[[ ( Ah fuck. ) ]]

"NOOOOO–"

[[ ( Telekinesis ) ]]

"Damnit… SIGH… Life-size squirrel statue and no lace…"

[What a pain… ]

[But hey… the other fabrics worked.]

[I could wear one of those underneath the lace.]

"You rly wouldn't mind??"

[No.]

[Here. Silk and lace. I'll just layer them together.]

"Wait, I actually have one more trick lmao! I got these lil gold beads n stuff to tie onto the ends of the blindfolds if they worked out. So they can match your glasses in value and you can apport em anytime for makeouts~!"

[Very clever… ]

[ … ]

[You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?]

"Ehehehe… Well… A girl can hope!!"

[Heh.]

[Good job.]

[Once you finish preparing that blindfold, I'd like to make out again.]

"HELL YEAH, you don't have to tell me twice!! Ummm, ummm, here's the receipt for this bit of lace & here's for the silk & here's for your glasses & here's for the beads… Like what… G = L + S + xB, solve for x… Ummm… Wait, the value of the blindfold can be anywhere within 10% of the value of the glasses… Can't BELIEVE I've gotta do math to make out with my bae hsfjdlshfks… I guess three gold beads would do it, but that would be uneven?? What if I like replace a gold bead with some cheaper ones? AUGH that means MORE math… Cuz x has to be a whole number divisible by 2… Girl help, WTF…"

[Hehehehehe… ]

"SMH laugh it up… What if two glass beads, a jade bead, and a gold bead on each side… …Okay, I think this is it! Give 'er a spin, Kusuo~!"

[[ ( Apport ) ]]

[ !!! ]

[Perfect…!]

[Good job, Mikoto!!]

"Ehehehe~! Thank you babe~! And dang… you look sooooo good with that pretty silk and lace on~ Espesh since I can see your gorgeous purple eyes like this when I lean in close~!"

[Kiss me then… ]

She did, with pleasure. This time her eyes stayed open, peering into the violet depths of his eyes behind the delicate whorls of thread. This close, the lace filled her vision, and she could pretend it was a wedding veil. With his ring on, he couldn't read her mind, but he must have felt some of her enthusiasm nonetheless, because he was broadcasting love and joy on every wavelength as he held her close and kissed her back.

[Mmmm…~ ]

[ … ]

[What's that beeping sound…?]

"Mmmmm~? Hm? Oh shit, that's my alarm! It's telling us to wrap up shopping and go meet everyone at the movies, rip. Oof, we didn't actually eat anything, did we??"

[Ah. What a pain… ]

"Urgh, def not enough time to cook or eat out, rip… If we hustle now, we'll barely make it to the movie on time!"

[Wait.]

[[ ( Clairvoyance ) ]]

[ … ]

[We can teleport there and eat at the concession stand.]

[Not the best quality food, but– ]

"Good enough 4 me! We'll just eat something sexier for dinner! Let's gooo~!"

[Wait… ]

[One more kiss…?]

"Ehehehe, you got it~!"

__________

[Alright, the coast is clear. You go out first.]

"Teleportation is sooo convenient lol~! Oh hey Chichi-chipmunk~!"

"Don't call me tha– Wait, what were you doing in that storage closet– SAIKI???"

[Hey.]

"WH– WHY ARE YOU WEARING A BLINDFOLD??"

[ …Ah.]

" …whoopsies lmaooooo…"

--------------

If you enjoyed this, please let me know in my inbox, in the tags, or in the replies~! It was REALLY hard to censor this one and I didn't even think it needed it originally hsfjdlshfks

[pepperful-qt]

Heyo pepperoni! I left for a day and I came back to people thirsting on my homepage. Send help please🆘 Anyways, I'm stuck on ori and died a thousand times over. I also did a stupid thing and didn't explore before I entered the stupid volcano. Now , I gotta redo the whole thing after I finish the game... 😖 Here's a science pick up joke for ya " are you uranium? Cause I am in love with U" man , I love chem pick up jokes... ~😏

LMFAOOO RIGHT ngl I enjoy the occasional thirst but the ones in my inbox are never.. normal yk lol. & omfg yeah that's so frustratinggg ive don the same thing in other games. rlly it's hard to tell sometimes when you're entering a new area !! also I have a few hours of patience before I look up tutorials hAHA unless I feel close.

also imma just smile & nod bc I haven't learned the periodic table in like 4 years though im pretty sure I get that one :))) i love your pickup lines too

[ririthedevil]

LMFAOOO how has my friend managed to jump out a plane one day (skydiving) and then the next had to turn back from her trek on an active volcano because it started erupting - all within 24 hours 😭😭😭

[taeswrrld]

if breena and i met bts pt2

———

‘oh my GOD,’ julia exclaimed, jumping into the car, ‘kim taehyung LITERALLY gave me directions to the BATHROOM BRO,’ she yelled, talking with her hands.

‘shut UP you were SO embarrassing in there,’ breena scolded, plopping down in the drivers seat.

‘i was not, i can tell they are people who appreciate honesty, and thats what i am. HONEST,’ julia rolled her eyes.

‘whatever bro, just dont make a scene at lunch, ill fucking punch you.’

————-

about 15-20 minutes later, breena got a simple text from namjoon:

‘우린 준비되었다. 우리는 큰 검은 메르세데스에있을 것입니다.’ (we’re ready. we’ll be in the black mercedes.)

‘alright bitch, buckle up. its time to go,’ breena said, turning the key in the ignition.

‘goodness im so fucking excited,’ julia clapped her hands, jumping up and down in her seat.

breena spotted the mercedes and followed behind it, blasting various kpop songs on the way.

———

the mercedes pulled into a spot in the front, and breena parked next to them, hopping out of the car.

‘hey hey,’ julia greeted, swinging her mini backpack over her shoulders.

‘hey.’ jimin said coldly.

‘yah! dont be dry! thats so rude!!’ jin scolded, to which jimin just rolled his eyes.

‘yeah what jin said,’ julia said, laughing.

namjoon shook his head for what felt like the millionth time today, ushering everyone inside the restaurant.

they found a table in the back, away from fans so they wouldnt be bothered.

‘here julia,’ hobi said, pulling out a chair for her.

‘oh wow so gentlemanly,’ she praised, thanking him.

‘okay so no ones gonna pull a chair out for me??’ breena asked, partly kidding, partly serious.

‘hoseok is just a kiss-ass, pull your own chair out, youre a big girl.’ jimin stated, chuckling.

‘boy- fuck off,’ breena said, plopping down in a chair.

they all browsed the menu, julia shaking her leg, causing the table to move.

‘bro quit doing that,’ said jimin, glaring at her.

‘oh fuck my bad, i didnt even realize,’ she said, slightly embarrassed, biting the inside of her cheek.

they continued to look through the menu.

the waitress came over and took their order, very obviously hitting on jimin- and of course jimin was flirting back.

eventually, she wrote down all of their orders and left.

‘god jimin, do you have to be such a whore?’ jin complained, glaring daggers at him.

‘hey, if i see a pretty woman i need to flirt, its just how i am,’ he explained, leaning back in his chair.

‘hey dont lean so far ba-!’ namjoon didnt get to finish his sentence.

‘WAH!!’ jimin yelled, toppling over.

it was silent.

and then-

‘BWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA,’ julia laughed, the sound erupting from her like a volcano shoots out lava.

‘oh my fucking god,’ breena chuckled, lightly tapping julia on the shoulder.

namjoon was holding back his laugh, jungkook and taehyung were struggling to breath, hoseok was slapping the fuck of of his thigh, yoongi giggled quietly to himself, while jin leaned on julia for support as he laughed.

‘HOLY SHIT,’ julia gasped for air, clinging onto jins shoulder, in tears.

‘PLEASE THAT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY,’ jin yelled, laughing even louder.

‘okay. OKAY SHUT THE FUCK UP HOLT SHIT,’ jimin said, standing up and wiping his pants off, ‘youve had your dumb laugh now shut UP.’

‘you sure are smooth, jimin,’ breena said sarcastically, sipping on her water.

‘yeah yeah, what the fuck ever.’

——-

they were served their food, and julia immediately dug in.

‘do you always eat like that?’ asked yoongi, watching in awe.

‘like what?’ she said, with her mouth full.

‘....nevermind.’

‘hey, you have some food on your face,’ taehyung said, reaching over with a napkin and wiping it off.

julia blushed, ‘thanks man.’

breena scoffed, picking at her food.

‘do you not like it or what?’ namjoon inquired, pointing his fork at her.

‘nah i like it im just... not very hungry? i dont know man’ breena sighed, nibbling at her food.

‘so, how old are you guys?’ asked jimin, looking at the two girls.

‘julias 21, and ill be 21 in march.’ breena answered, swallowing her noodles.

‘wait wait wait, SHES older than YOU?’ hobi gasped.

‘yeah man, hard to believe huh.’

‘WHAT? i act my age, dont even,’ julia whined. jimin laughed at that, and she shot him a venomous glare. he stopped laughing.

jungkook burped loudly, smiling, ‘excuse me!’

‘YAH!!! THAT WAS GROSS,’ jin complained, throwing a crumpled up napkin at him.

taehyung decided this event needed alcohol, asking the waitress to bring them soju.

‘yeah, lets party woop woop,’ julia said, dancing in her seat.

‘it’s literally noon. and we have practice in three hours.’ namjoon said, ‘we cant day drink man.’

‘yeah well... we can just skip practice.’ taehyung said, shrugging his shoulders.

‘i like the way you think,’ said yoongi.

namjoon sighed, resting his head on his hand. breena patted his shoulder.

———

this soju arrived, and within the next 30 mins everyone was tipsy.

‘shooooo, i have a question about penises,’ julia asked, leaning over the table.

‘well, you have seven proud penis owners sitting right here. ask away,’ said jungkook, puffing out his chest.

‘so like, when its hard... like.... what if it gets so hard it falls off...’ julia asked, staring at nothing.

hobi howled with laughter, and taehyung looked scared.

‘i never thought about that,’ tae said, ‘what if it DOES fall off??????’

namjoon rolled his eyes, ‘your dick wont FALL OFF, taehyung. its scientifically impossible. DURRR.’

yoongi laughed, throwing his head back. taehyung relaxed in his seat.

‘yah! what kind of question is that?!!’ jin inquired.

‘i dunno man. just wonderin i guess HAHHAHA,’ julia answered, tossing back another shot.

breena suddenly had a thought, and she shot up from her chair.

‘how the fuck are we gonna get back to hybe?’

‘oh fuck i didnt think about that HAHAHA,’ taehyung said, shrugging.

‘man we cant drive like this,’ said jimin, shaking his head.

‘fuck.’ said namjoon.

—————

LMFAOOO HELP THIS SERIES IS GREAT

[dickie-gayson]

so i got a mini-Justice League comic in a box of cereal and it’s called Truth Hurts.

long story short, there’s a volcano the League’s trying to prevent from erupting and Aquaman uses the underground stream to help. it sprays the league but has spores and a high count of oxygen in it that makes them meaner. they all start talkin shit to each other and fighting and Diana’s like ‘shit man wtf.’ then they all realize what’s up. they’re all assessing everyone and finding out what they really think

meanwhile Bruce over here is like ‘i feel fine’. and everyone else is like ‘...u kno, u right. ur about as much an asshole as before.’ Diana even uses her lasso on him to see if he’s telling the truth and he is. 

fuckin Bruce is so much of a dick that the Stream of Ruthlessness doesn’t really affect him lmfaooo

it also has Jessica Cruz and Simon Baz in it, so bonus points

[shreyamistry]

Thank you so much for accepting my request????? I've been rewatching loads of them and feeling all nostalgic and as the HSS gang are probably around my age they grew up on this stuff too so I could imagine them just being lame and nostalgic together ?? Idk just a dumb fantasy of mine haha. I'm doing great! How are you?! And yes I love your messy ass you're awesome. And server b*by.???? What.????? I'm so confused lmfao 😂😂😂 Also I just wrote out all of the LIs favourites debate with me [c]

Maria: Witch’s Ghost because of Hex Girls Monster of Mexico because of the traditions and stuff (she’s latinx or something, right? If not she just really finds the culture inspiring. The scene where all of the statutes come to life is the best part of the film okay) Michael: Zombie Island because he’s an edgy bastard and he was a fucked up child because he watched it every night Legend of the Vampire because, again, HEX GIRLS !!! He adores them and wishes they were a real band

Caleb: Cyber Chase! He can’t settle on one type of adventure, so Cyber Chase satisfies everything from space to dinosaurs Where’s My Mummy? because the giant scorpion was SO FUCKING COOL WTH Emma: Boo Brothers! Really old classic and she loves the riddles and stuff in it. She was really interested in them as a child She adored the live action ones, even the ones being released now!

Aaaaand Aiden: Alien Invaders because the Groovy song was his fucking jam. Also aliens are so cool. He also really loves the live action movies (Spooky Island and Monsters Unleashed - not the new shitty ones lol) Sorry these are so long and lame omfgkfkclkskd Debate with me.

these are not lame, i can’t contest to them not being long but they’re not lame and i asked for your opinion and im happy you delivered! let’s debate! *rap battle commences* or maxwell would dream it would happen lmao.

ahh forget it then, you are not whom i thought you were unless you’re pretending not to know to throw me which, if so great tactic and it worked if it worked okay im gonna stop speculating and sounding dumb lmfaoisfoifja thanks for supporting my messy ass a true genuine soul

Maria: i do believe it was confirmed she was Hispanic yes! the monster of mexcio was a great movie, deserved all it’s praised. i love that scene, when all the status came alive as a kid i had the toys and would reenact that scene with them lmfaooo. she would love the movie, it’s simply amazing and that’s the tea! and witch’s ghost has historical components i think she could appreciate alongside the Hex Girls lmfao.

Michael: oooh I could see his edgy thot ass loving Zombie Island, tis an epic movie, my brother used to get nightmares and i’d watch it 5 times in a row lmfaojfosjf oh YEAH the legend of the vampire,i forget about that one sometimes, definitely and the make up and killer bands featured in the episode Michael could get behind that. OR THE reluctant werewolf where shaggy had that blonde girlfriend and Scrappy was there and all the ghosts were real and they raced, I could see him enjoying that as well

Caleb: i tend to agree, Cyber Chase has everything he could want, the action and the fun of a scooby doo movie! and BASEEEEBALLLLLL spoiler alert if you never saw the movie lmfaooo, i feel like he’d love Aloha Scooby Doo (is that whatit’s called?) idk surfing volcano and action? i think he’d love it. i haven’t seen wheres my mummy in years, but i think i remember what you’re talking about and i AGREE.

Emma: oh poor emma, i’m sad to say i’m sure she’d enjoy the remake live with Hayley Kiyoko, scooby doo the mystery begins (and the lagoon monster bitch ass one idk what it’s called) was half decent i won’t lie, i enjoyed it and fred was really cute (my teenage self thought so) the second one however no. i hate when they force the velma/shaggy relationship it’s tragic. the boo brothers as emma’s fave makes so much sense actually, like it’s  right up her alley

Aiden: phew finally made it, that was a joke don’t take it as me not wanting to have this convo pls love you husband. tHE GROOVY SONG IS MY JAM, I LOVE THAT MOVIE IT HAs THE PERFECT BALANCE OF IRRESTIABLY FUN MUSIC AND ALIEN ACTION AND TWISTS, AIDEN LOVE IT! and the live action ones he’d appreciate the seond ones cinematography i’d asssume