#ikea likes math

[totally-ikea]

Anybody got any tips for getting into honors math? :3

[raulfernandez]

...

[huellitaa]

ikea youkea we all scream for ikea

[frostywisp]

pray tell me good sir:

why must such cushioned a chair cut off the circulation, the flowing of such vibrant life-blood to my limbs?

if only such premium a seat, such a fine specimen of the exotic variety, such a chair of the esteemed establishment of the Scandinavian geography,

could provide me with the lessening of pressure on the bottom side of my left thigh

then- maybe then- only then- would i be able to find one true route to victory over this mundane muddle of showing of a polygon through this messy list of letters and directional lines.

Ah, woe is me! For i may ne'er feel the touch of yet another well-made chair.

Why must this be so? why must the hard provide comfort but the soft provide ache?

This cannot be right, this cannot truly be the way of the world

However my self tells me it truly is so, thus all this pathetic being will do is weep

[raviolirash]

While I do believe that Astarion can mend clothes and embroider, I do not believe that he's a tailor. Considering how many instances of him there are seething at puzzles and the like. Making clothes from scratch is one giant puzzle of math. He can probably take a shirt and spruce it up wonderfully, but when I think of him having to deal with sewing patterns and the like all I see is him complaining lol.

He'd hate the Ikea concept too.

[bookish-bogwitch]

Thank you @roomwithanopenfire, @rimeswithpurple, @blackberrysummerblog, @nausikaaa, @larkral,

@hushed-chorus, @alexalexinii, @monbons, @whatevertheweather, @run-for-chamo-miles,

@artsyunderstudy, @mooncello, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @forabeatofadrum, and @aristocratic-otter for the tags over the past few weeks. I've had a crazy month (90% in crazy a good way) and too frazzled to come up with my own WIP posts, but have enjoyed reading yours and being included.

Here are six ten moody little sentence from Chapter 11 of Basil Pitch's Diary. (In case you missed it, I posted Ch. 10, September, a few weeks ago, then fled the country.) Baz is hanging in in Niall and Dev's room:

The last time I was here with Niall, he’d told me to hold out for more than ear scritches and the occasional carrot. Now we sat on his bed with a chessboard between us. “Baz,” Niall said quietly. “What are you doing?”  “Beating you.” I moved my queen to menace his remaining bishop. “With Snow, I mean.” Niall did that thing where the rook and king hop around, which shouldn’t be allowed, and I realized he’d won. Again. Somewhere, in a parallel universe, there is a me who grew up with someone to play against, demolishing a Niall who never went to math camp.

Below the cut: musing, a posting plan, and more tags.

Musing: I've actually written a ton since the last chapter even though I've been AWOL, but for a while no matter what I wrote, Baz felt out of character. I'd write a scene, like it, and then think "but why is he doing this?" Then I'd rewrite with Baz behaving completely differently, and that also felt OOC.

I worried that I'd somehow doomed myself with inconsistent characterization, but then I figured it out: Baz at this point is deeply inconsistent. He presents himself to the world one way, he tells the reader / himself that he's something else, and deep down he's a secret third thing. And sometimes his masks slip.

To some extent this is every unreliable narrator. But boyo has REALLY tangled himself up at this point. Something's gotta give. Until it does--which it will, soon--I have to be very clear in my mind, even if Baz isn't, about which Baz is driving the Baz at any given moment.

A lot of you can do that sort of thing intuitively. I can't. So I've been building this out (showing you just the headers b/c spoilers):

This might stultify some (most?) of you. For me, though, it's freeing. When my brain isn't trying to keep track of everything, my imagination can unfurl.

"'Everything'?" you ask. "This isn't that plotty a fic." It's not, but it's already 2.5x longer than anything else I've written, which means developing skills I haven't needed before. Anyway, my BPD chart and I are having fun. We're very happy together.

Posting Plan

I pushed myself to get Ch. 10 up before leaving home for three weeks, because Ch. 9 had ended on such a wretched note. While I was happy to have gotten it up, I didn't love the self-imposed time crunch (though betas @cutestkilla, @facewithoutheart, and @thewholelemon were fuckin' heroes). Feeling rushed had me stressing and second-guessing choices that were probably fine.

My plan now is to pause updates until I have at least a very rough first draft of the final chapter, then post it all at regular intervals. I know a longish pause means some folks who'd been reading along will wait until it's complete, if they return at all. To those folks--sorry, and I get it, and thank you for reading in the first place, and I love you.

Tags and shy waves to @brendughh  @beastmonstertitan  @carryonsimoncarryonbaz  @carryonmylovelies  @creepyspice

@comesitintheclover @cows4247 @confused-bi-queer @artsyunderstudy@chen-chen-chen-again-chen

@chronicallyhomoerotic @drowninginships @dragoneggos @excalisbury @emeryhall

@erzbethluna @ebbpettier @fight-surrender @fatalfangirl @gay-at-ikea

@fiend-for-culture @forabeatofadrum @foolofabookwyrm-activated @arthurkko @j-nipper-95

@gekkoinapeartree @goblindad-emoshit @henreyettah @hertragedyconnoisseur @hushed-chorus

@icarus-n-flames @ineffable-grimm-pitch @ic3-que3n @ionlydrinkhotwater @iamamythologicalcreature

 @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @shrekgogurt @im-gettingby @youarenevertooold

@monbons @mooncello @raenestee @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @messofthejess

[wh0re-in-the0ry]

SOLD TO CHUCKLE SANDWICH??? 😱😱😱

Part two :3

🩸🐑🩸 Begone Cherub 🩸🐑🩸

Shoutout to @kiddiesmores @phedgehogs @gummysharklover and my favorite anon, thank you for moral support in this economy (love y’all) ((no beta, we die like Charles Slimecicle)) (((oh btw Charlie is canonically dead in this fic so don’t expect him any time soon))) ((((sorry doctor freaky :/))))

(the next day)

Beep

Beep

Beep

My alarm goes off… I open my blue orbs… ugh… wh-where am I? Oh right… the Chuckle House…

Oh gosh darn it wasn’t a dream… I hop off my air mattress and go through my “new” ikea dresser (it’s Ted’s old one, it smells like cheap vapes). I couldn’t pack most of my cool clothes because I couldn’t fit them in my bag yesterday so I stick with something simple: a baggy gray sweater and leggings.

I look kinda basic but it’s better than the same graphic tee from yesterday I guess :/

I grab my phone and earbuds and head to the kitchen… wait… what am I allowed to eat here..? Like…I don’t wanna just steal their food…

But I mean… they did kinda steal me so I guess we’ll be even? I shrug it off, head to the freezer and plop in two toaster strudels. If they didn’t want me to eat their strudels then they shouldn’t of bought me.

As I wait for my strudels I plug in my earbuds and start listening to [insert favorite artist], man I just love [music genre]. Just as I was getting to the good part of the song… Schlatt walks into the kitchen. He looks confused for a moment but then has a moment of clarity. “Oh right… I forgot you existed…” he yawns tiredly.

“Wow…don’t I feel special…” I muttered under my breath. The toaster strudels pop out of the toaster and I place them on a paper towel to cool before I add the icing. I play my music again but I can’t focus on it… not with him in the room with me. It feel so… so… odd to be standing next to Schlatt- let alone live with him now… I refuse to look at him but I can feel him staring at me- judging me… The feeling of dread and anxiety is building up in me. After like thirty seconds of hyping myself up, I look up from my cracked phone and towards Schlatt.

He looks absolutely disgusted, borderline offended, but he’s not looking at me… he’s looking at my iPhone 6s.

“…what?”

“What the fuck is that thing?”

“…it’s my phone?”

“It’s a crime to my eyes.” He actually looks offended that I have my phone in his vicinity.

“Well I’m sorry but it’s not like I can just go get a new one- not all of us are made of money.”

Schlatt rolls his eyes and heads to the pantry and pulls out a box of Crunch Berries. He makes his breakfast and sits down. My strudels are just about cooled and I decorate the pastries. One of them has my name on it: Y/n L/n (it’s nice having such a short name). The other one I drew a… drew a…

wiener. hehe.

I sit down with my strudels, sitting in the opposite corner of Schlatt, I’m still not used to him. I take a bite of my breakfast as I scroll through Pinterest, looking through outfit inspos and dynamic pose references for my art that I’ll realistically never use.

I almost forget Schlatt is even there until I hear him dramatically get off of the barstool and groans, “I can’t take this anymore… get your shoes on- we’re going to get you something useable… (and probably a new wardrobe while we’re at it Jesus…)” He mumbles the last part, damn… I know I’m no fashion expert but there’s something extra insulting about him pointing it out.

“Wait like right now?”

“Yes LiKe rIgHT NoW,” Schlatt parrots back.

“Bu- but what about school? I already missed my first day-“

“Y/n, what’s more important: missing one more day of school that you’re going to forget in a month or getting rid of that eyesore?”

“…uhhh school?”

“Wrong answer.” He takes another bite of his cereal, “We’ll leave once we’re done with breakfast.”

I sigh, “So I really don’t get a say in this, huh?”

“No, but I’ll let you choose the color of your new phone.”

“…fine.” I guess I can’t really complain… Oh no! I’m going miss my second day of a math class I took last year and get a new iPhone 😰 Oh God the horror!! Yeah… it’s probably in my best interest to go along with this.

It isn’t long before we both finish our breakfast and head to the garage. And oh god it’s massive- like it’s easily twice the size of my old apartment. I am once again asking myself how the hell did these guys afford a place like this. Because there’s no chance that the Zocdoc sponsorships are paying enough to cover this… or maybe they do idk- I know next to nothing about the business side of YouTube :/

There five cars in here: Ted’s Tacoma, a car I’m assuming is Tucker’s, and three really expensive looking cars, one of them being the one I saw yesterday with the U-haul. It’s almost embarrassing how little I know about cars so I’m not even going to bother describing the models or anything. I feel like I shouldn’t be allowed in the same room as these cars- let alone get a in any of them…

We get to driving and I am pleasantly surprised that Schlatt is actually a good driver- unlike anything I’ve heard from the podcast or his old Truck Driving Simulator streams. He’s so careful as he drives down the freeway. Maybe- just maybe he’s being careful because I’m in here..?

…

Nah it’s probably because this car is worth more than all my organs on the black market.

Yeah- it’s probably that.

We pull into the parking lot and conveniently were at the mall I work at. Nice- at least I won’t miss another day of work.

The mall trip was all sorta a blur. One minute I’m picking out a color for my IPhone 15 (blue btw), the next we’re going to 8 different stores to get me new clothes because my clothes, and I quote: “are a f*cking travesty.”

Is it rude of him to say- yes 100%. But I might’ve allegedly outgrown half my wardrobe back in sophomore year and needed some new stuff to wear to begin with… Sooo… he gets a pass this time..

By the time we are done with our next store, my school day is just about halfway done so there’s no point of Schlatt dropping me off at school now. Speaking of Schlatt- he looks absolutely miserable. Like this man’s face just screams ‘I wanna go home’. To be honest I’m surprised he lasted this long.

Despite his social battery being in the negatives, we stop by the food court for a quick lunch. Schlatt is eating a slice of cheese pizza from sbarro while muttering to himself that it was leagues behind New York’s pizza while I picked at my cheese stick and fries.

Today felt kinda odd. I’ve never been so spoiled before, it feels so strange but it’s certainly not unwelcomed. I look up at Schlatt, “Thanks Schlatt… I uhh… I appreciate it a lo-”

“Don’t mention it, Kid,” he says as he takes another bite of his pizza, still not looking at me while talking with his mouth with a little bit of food in it, “it was more a favor for me than you anyways.”

We go back to quiet.

When we are about halfway done with our food Schlatt looks up at me for the first time in like two hours, “So… Ted told me you work here.”

“Hm?”

“Ted said that you work at this mall.”

“Oh yeah- I drive those kiddie trains here.”

He nods, “okay…” there’s a brief moment of silence before he talks again, like as if his brain was checked out for the day, “do you have a shift here today?”

“Yeah.. it should start in about an hour.”

“…” he rubs the bridge of his nose, “I’m going to be real with you- I’d rather kill myself then be in this mall for another minute.”

“Fair enough,” it’s about a thirty minute drive to get here so it doesn’t make sense for me to leave now, “You can leave with the stuff right now and I can-”

“Y/n (≧∇≦)!!!” I can recognize that voice and the smell of Twilight Sparkle branded perfume from anywhere but before I could even turn my head, my best friend, [Best Friend] ran in and practically tackled me into a hug. Schlatt’s eyes widen for a second as I almost fall out of my chair because of her. “[Nickname], where were you yesterday? The mall was sooo boring without you (╥﹏╥)”

“I’m sorry, bestie but I had some… things happened yesterday..” I can see Schlatt’s confusion expression as he studied my friend. I know that [Best Friend] can be a lot with her 27 different beaded bracelets and her ever growing collection of Invader Zim memorabilia, but she’s an absolute sweetheart and the most loyal friend a girl can ask for.

“That’s suspiciously vague but okay then- oh also don’t worry I checked you in yesterday so don’t worry about your boss giving you an earful tonight (^_^)” She says, while still hugging me.

“Oh shoot- I completely forgot about work yesterday… Thanks [Best Friend] you’re a lifesaver!”

“You’re welcome…” She loosens the hug and looks at me, her tone sounding a little more serious, “but I can’t be doing this all the time again, Y/n. We talked about this, you promised that this year would be a fresh start for you and ditching work isn’t going to- ”

“Huh?” There’s a look of bewilderment written all over her face. I look at her confused until I realize she’s looking right at Schlatt and a pit forms in my stomach. Man I really don’t want to explain my situation to her- not now at least.

She asks the dreaded question, “Is that flippin’ Jebediah Schlatt (ಠ_ಠ)”

Both me and Schlatt look at her, then at each other, and back to her again and spoke in unison, “No.”

——

An: hey y’all thanks for reading part two of this mess. No one asked for this but I had a lot of fun with the first part so here we are. Idk if I’ll make more because I don’t have much after this planned but if you have any ideas/suggestions my comment and asks are always open!

I’m not gonna lie I’m too lazy to to add a link to the first part of this but if you click on the tag s writes or a homage to wattpad it should take you there.

Anyways here some doodles I made while writing this mess

Okie that’s all bye :)

-S

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

The Arcana Mini-HCs: Brainrot's Masterlist, Pt 4

Finding out MC is ticklish

When MC can't swim and falls in a pool

M6 breaking MC's hyperfixation

Someone flirts with MC in front of M6

MC walks into a pole looking at M6

Waking up at midnight to ask "will you be my Valentine?"

M6 when MC can't dance

M6 meeting MC's ex

MC kissing M6 when someone else is flirting with them

MC takes on an apprentice

When Drunk!MC tells M6 to leave their partner for them

M6 with an infertile MC

M6 when MC's feeling needy

MC is good with an axe

M6's kid asks them for love advice

Tickling the M6

M6 meeting their teen's first partner

M6 with an MC who likes to deflect

When M6 see MC eat an orange whole

M6 playing Minecraft

When MC can see dead people

MC with sharp teeth

M6 with a mysterious MC

When MC looks like they're being threatened

M6 when MC listens to horror stories to fall asleep

When MC bakes a behemoth brownie

When MC purposefully sings lyrics wrong

M6 and classical music

When MC says "this song reminds me of you!"

When MC has a phobia of their familiar

When MC chokes drinking water

MC's younger sibling gives M6 a shovel talk

MC asks M6 to marry them again

Talking in silly voices

When MC's heart skips a beat for M6

M6 driving

M6 when MC gets hangry

MC with a jellyfish familiar

M6 when MC starts using pet names

When someone breaks into the shop

M6's pfps/usernames

Climbing trees

When affection makes MC emotional

Naming their kid

M6 when MC stims verbally

MC with horns and a tail

Keeping things fresh

MC and M6 as Orpheus and Eurydice

MC with long tangly hair

When MC's familiar is the same as M6's

MC has a butterfly familiar

MC giving M6 a massage

M6 at an amusement park

MC brings home a kid from the docks

MC's younger sibling teasing M6 about their relationship

When MC gets stuck on a claw machine

Shape shifter!MC

M6's horror movie preferences

M6 have a nightmare of MC dying

Giving M6 surprise hugs

When MC doodles on M6's arms

Knowing M6 before the plague

MC makes an unhinged comment and runs off

Booping

M6 trying the ribbon-on-bicep trend

With a soft-spoken MC

With a bear familiar

MC that draws math in the air

When MC runs REALLY warm

With a trapeze artist MC

M6 in the cold

M6 and the Cat Distribution System

Deaf!MC hearing M6's voice for the first time

MC takes out their hearing aids for a migraine

When MC works with ghosts

M6 eating bland food

MC getting jumpscared by their familiar

MC is a vampire against their will

When MC has a speech impediment

When MC is romance starved

M6 when MC's familiar is injured/sick

M6 playing Wipe Out

M6's kid gets unfairly dress coded

M6 at IKEA

M6 with hiccups

When MC likes having their hair played with

M6's kid has a nightmare and asks to join them

When M6's kid sneaks out, then asks to get picked up

When MC didn't like the M6 at first

M6 kissing MC when they're eating spicy food

When MC picks/bites their fingernails

With a parrot familiar

When MC has a rough time on a rollercoaster

When MC used to be famous

Perfectionist MC with a fragile ego

With a coyote familiar

Deaf!M6 hear MC for the first time

MC with entomophobia

MC rants about a bad book/play

M6 as college students

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 19

PREVIOUS

There’s a couple things about FF that might be good to know at this point.

1. There are few things in the world he hates doing more than asking for clarification or admitting he doesn’t understand / know something. The thought of going up to someone and admitting that he hasn’t perfectly comprehended the situation upon the first explanation is something makes his stomach twist like he’d just eaten Mango-Habanero ice cream.

He has figured out his own math theorems in the pursuit of not having to ask the math teacher to explain he doesn’t understand. He got lost in an Ikea once for over 6 grueling hours where he considered making a home there and living among the display rooms until his grandma grabbed him by the ear and dragged him to safety (the food court) and let him regain his strength (eat Swedish meatballs). He, to this day, is not sure about one of his foreign language friend’s names (how embarrassing he just keeps waiting for someone else to say it but they go by some insane nickname).

So he has become a master of piecing shit together on his own. He sometimes gets it wrong (Andrew, god how embarrassing) but for the most part 8 times out of 10 he can get to the right answer if he just has a couple pieces to work with. No one had ever actually explained to him how Exy works and he was too embarrassed to ask after the third week of practice in middle school so he just pieced together what he was and was not allowed to do through the art of trial and error. He’s even mostly pieced out the rules for the other positions.

So with the information he has gotten through people being bound and determined to talk in foreign languages in front of him he has an idea about the tenuous situation some of the older Foxes find themselves in.

He’s heard Kevin Day and Jean Moreau talk in French.

He’s heard that the anxiety in both of their voices as they talked about their futures and owing 80% of their salaries to the ‘Moriyamas’ and how nervous they were about getting on professional teams or else they’d be killed.

Captain Neil and Andrew are not always using Russian to talk dirty.

He’s heard Andrew soothe Captain Neil’s worries about playing for a professional team. He’s heard Captain Neil mention that at least ‘Ichirou’ would likely just kill him and not make a game out of it like his father did.

Organized Crime might have more to do with Exy than FF had originally thought.

(He had thought it. Plenty of times he had thought it but his Gran had warned him that he was overthinking things. That he wasn’t playing a sport invented by the Mafia. That he had caffeinated coffee instead of decaf. “It’s going to be okay sweetie. Just take a deep breath.”)

This leads into the second thing you should know at this point.

2.  Before he had signed with Wymack he had known the broad strokes of Captain Neil’s life. There had been a lot of news articles about it and Gran (bless her) loved trashy gossip magazines.

After he had signed with the Foxes he had done a bit of a deep dive on as many of their controversies as he could find. There’d been things from brawls on the court (worrying), player overdoses (concerning), a straight up MURDER (Oh god), and the very public breaking of the King of Exy’s arm resulting in his suicide (Warranted, that wacko was going to take off Captain Neil’s HEAD.)

But the thing that had made him actually a little bit, dare he admit, excited to go to Palmetto was the fact that Captain Neil was there.

For someone who froze for almost a decade, who just took it and didn’t have the balls to even react? Neil Josten is an inspiration.

This is someone who got away, who lived a life completely unlike FF’s, someone who knew how to run and more impressively someone who learned how to FIGHT. Captain Neil was being hunted but he still ripped people to shreds in interviews. Captain Neil was probably more scared of the Butcher than FF had been of anything in his entire life but Captain Neil was way braver than FF could ever hope to be.

Captain Neil was taken and tortured but he still fought. FF had seen the scars and Captain Neil is right to wear them proudly (though based on some conversations he has unfortunately overheard he is sure Andrew may have a role in Neil’s positive feelings about them).

FF had thought that he was being lead to his death down in a basement of a club (Don’t cringe. Don’t cringe. Don’t cringe. Don’t-) and he just trailed right behind the two of them without even an illusion of a fight.

Neil Abram Josten was a bit of a personal hero.

He’s proud to call him Captain Neil. He wishes Andrew hadn’t been there when Greg had mentioned wanting autographs because FF wants an autograph from Captain Neil but now Andrew has probably mentioned it to Neil.

Long story short, FF had looked into a lot of details on Captain Neil’s case.

Including two of the Butcher’s top men who were still on the loose.

Romero Malcolm and Jackson Plank.

He keeps his presence low but no matter how many times he blinks the man grumbling in Italian next to him continues to be Romero Malcolm.

Moreover Romero Malcolm continues to grumble about the fact that he is having a hard time finding ‘Nathaniel’ and that he’ll have to grab one of ‘The Wesninski brat’s friends’ to draw him out.

FF is a recently confirmed friend of Captain Neil.

FF who is standing next to this man, with his dick out, and trying to remain as invisible as possible.

After two shakes (Yes he was watching but only because he had to! He wonders briefly if he goes to the FBI if they would accept a description of Romero Malcolm’s penis for the wanted poster? Probably not but it is BURNED into his retinas.)

He watches as Romero tucks, zips, and then bypasses the sink entirely.

FF shivers at how unhygienic that is. Who RAISED him?

The door shuts and FF needs to get out of here ASAP but his hands are shaking with the sudden adrenaline of ’One of the FBI’s Most Wanted just took a piss next to me and is looking for me friend’. He pulls his phone from his pocket and ducks into one of the stalls. Even if there’s no door it’ll at least FEEL a little safer, a little more private. He needs to warn Neil, Warn Andrew, and warn-

The door to the bathroom SLAMS open and music blares in (palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy-) and his phone slips out of his hands and into the toilet. There are footsteps coming towards him and FF digs deep.

He’s in ultra stealth mode. He is the wall behind the wallpaper. Mantis shrimp can only dream of the color he becomes, the United States military have the CIA on the look out for him because he’s fallen off all conventional forms of radar and tracking.

He is a bargain fruit platter on a dessert table at a kid’s birthday party.

He is ULTRA stealth.

Romero’s gaze glides over him.

Then the man leaves (STILL DID NOT WASH HIS HANDS).

His heart is hammering in his chest but he manages to reach down and grab his phone. Well, Coach Wymack had gotten the extended warranty at least. (“Do you know what these fuckers do to phones? Josten crushed his last year in a fight with the Baseball team captain.”)

His phone’s extended dip into the toilet water had not done it any favors in working properly.

Well fuck.

He wipes his phone down the best he can. He wipes his phone down with some toilet paper before cramming it into his pocket (Sorry Nicky, he’ll wash the toilet water pants if they survive).

He sees a flyer on the wall of the bathroom and starts to think of a plan.

He rushes out of the bathroom (he still washes his hands because he will not have something in common with a man on the FBI’s most wanted list and he just dipped his hand into a CLUB TOILET) and clocks Nicky’s wild arm movements and WORSE clocks Romero just 10 clubbers away.

He sees Romero’s eyes lock onto Nicky and a smile that terrifies him.

He’s out of Ultra Stealth Mode even if every atom in his body wants to run.

He is so stressed and panicked that he has gone beyond his body’s ability to process that so all that is left is determination. He’s got a head full of a half-baked plan, a hand going to his pocket, a second hand on the only ‘weapon’ he has on him, and a stomach full of acid.

He’s pulling his phone out of his pocket before he can really let himself think about it and walking up next to where Romero is standing. He holds his toilet water phone up to his ear and does the one weird social anxiety thing that he had never done before.

He pretends to be on a phone call.

“Hey Captain Neil,” he says and in the corner of his eye he can see Romero’s gaze shift from Nicky (surrounded by an adoring public, covered in sweat and therefore difficult to grab - a difficult target) to himself (alone, shorter, and probably looking like he’s about to pass out). “Yeah I think I’m going to take a break outside after I grab quick drink and then a water at the bar.” He says because he has to be the easier target and he has to go to the bar. “Yeah, yeah, okay I’ll mention it to that bartender guy.” He says and pretends to hang up.

He turns and he walks towards the bar and feels his pulse in his throat go to the beat of the music (success is my only motherfucking option, failure’s not).

He only knows about the alley because in the car ride to Sweetie’s Nicky had mentioned that he wouldn’t let FF’s first time be out there. He had been embarrassed but it was the only way he knew to get Romero out of the club and away from where he could hurt Captain Neil or anyone else in the pursuit of that.

He spots the bartender who had gotten the drinks for their table and his mind completely blanks on the name but the bartender sees him and smiles. “Oh you’re Neil and Andrew’s new friend! What can I help you with? I thought you were-“

“Hi, yes I am Captain Neil and Andrew’s friend.” He says a little loudly because he can feel Romero behind him and he does NOT want the man to know anything about where Captain Neil was.

“Captain Neil? Oh wow that’s adorable.” The man gushes. “What can I help you with? I won’t ask for ID for one of their friends.” He winks.

“I’d like to order the uh…” he tries to remember the exact drink name from the flyer, “…the deluxe chocolate martini?” He asks and knows he got it right when the bartender’s expression shifts ever so slightly.

“Oh yeah, how do Andrew and Neil feel about that?” He asks and oh great a coded conversation. It’s nice to actually be having a real one of these for once instead of just perceiving normal conversations to have hidden meanings.

“They don’t know. They probably prefer that I order it instead of Nicky or Aaron.” He lets his eyes dart to the wide where he believes Romero is watching him.

“I don’t know if that’s true.” The bartender says, “Nicky knows how to handle a drink and Aaron’s not a lightweight either.” He adds.

FF struggles to find a coded way to say ‘It’s not that someone’s hitting on me too hard like the flyer mentioned. It’s that there’s a mafia hitman in your club.’

Finally after a moment, “It’s not the usual kind of drink they get.” He tries and the bartender looks confused by the statement, dammit. He struggles to find a different way to say it before the bartender smiles.

“Y’know you’re really cute.” He reaches under the bar top and grabs a piece of paper and a pen. “How about you write down your number for me cutie? We can meet up sometime.” He says. “I’ll get started on that chocolate martini for you.” He says.

HE COULD KISS THIS MAN.

“I’d like that.” He says.

He writes out a quick message on the small note paper.

‘Armed. After Neil. Looked at Nicky. I’m going to the back alley. Phone is dead.’

The bartender comes back and looks at his note. “We’re out of chocolate martini mix, can I get you something-“ He hopes the club lighting obscures how pale the man got, “something else?” He asks and FF can SEE his pulse.

“Can I just get some water then?” He asks.

The bartender nods and pulls up his phone and hopefully is dialing the police and hands FF a water. His hand grabs hold of FF’s “You don’t need to go out into the alley. You could hang in the backroom with me?” He offers.

There really are some kind people in the world.

“I think it’s better if I’m not in here for a bit.” He says back and honestly he needs this kindness and he has a spare bit of courage, “What’s your name by the way? Sorry I missed it.” He says.

The bartender swallows, “It’s Roland.” He says.

“Thanks Roland.” He twists the cap off of the water bottle and takes a sip.

He turns and pretends not to notice how Romero is trying to be inconspicuous pretending to be on his phone.

He makes his way over to the alley door and notices that Romero is tracking his movements but is not following him like he did to the bar.

His heart is pounding and he can’t BELIEVE he’s doing this. He wants to run, wants to hide somewhere, wants to become imperceptible but…but…

He opens the door to the alley as the bass of the remixed song finishes.

(You can do anything you set your mind to, man)

He lets the door slam behind him and he is alone in the alley.

He was not expecting a van to come to a screeching halt in front of the entrance and for a different face to appear climbing out of the car.

Jackson Plank.

FF looks at the ugly smile on the man as he walks towards him with a knife in hand.

Okay now what genius?

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

5/26/23: EDITED. Can’t believe I forgot to put the Captain in front of Neil’s name on the meme. I’m blaming the accidental early awakening.

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23​ @dreamerking27​ @andreilsmyreligion​ @belodensetdust​ @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace​ @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world​ @obscureshipsandchips​ @booklover242​ @whataboutmyfries​ @sahturnos​ @pluto-pepsi​ @dreamerthinker​ @passinhosdetartaruga​ @leftunknownheart​ @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead​ @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme​ @tayspots @nick-scar​ @crazy-fangirl2524​ @blue-jos10​ @stabbyfoxandrew​ @splishsplashyouropinionistrash​ @sammichly​ @the-broken-pen​ @bitchesdoweknowu​ @very-small-flower​ @ghostlyboiii​ @its-a-paxycab​ @bisexual-genderfluid-fan​ @cheesecookie​ @theoneandonlylostsock​ @foxsoulcourt​ @blueleys @adverbialstarlight​ @elia-nna​ @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner​ @nikodiangel​ @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat​ @hallucinatedjosten​ @satanic-foxhole-court​ @vexingcosmos​ @chalilodimun​ @insectsgetcooked​ @angry-kid-with-no-money​ @queer-crows​ @lillyndra​ @themugglemudperson​ @readertodeath​ @apileofpillows​ @mortalsbowbeforeme​ @hellomynameismoo​ @next-level-mess @youreonlylow​ @interstellarfig​ @notprocrastinatingatalltoday​ @percyjacksonfan3​ @queenofcrazy27​ @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares​ @spencellio​ @adinthedarkroom​ @harpymoth​ @sufferingjustalilbit​ @anxietymoss​ @oddgreyhound​ @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken​ @ken22789​ @atiredvampire​ @isoldescorner​ @not--a--pipedream​ @azure-wing​ @bushbees​  @roonilwazlib-main​ @crumplelush​ @foldedaces-paperbirds​ @thesenseinnonsense​ @let-tyrants-fear​ @ketchupfriesandallthingsnice​ @legowerewolf​ @deadlydodos​ @but-we-respect-his-craft​ @cariniqe​ @zanypersonapricotbiscuit​

The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it  right but you didn’t  get a notification there might be something  switched around in  your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

Lillyndra it worked this time!!!

[ireallyliketacosokay]

HELLO!

My name's Taco!

I'm a minor that loves tacos, cats, and marvel. And roleplaying like I'm in the mcu myself! That's what I use this blog for.

Info below the cut!

------------------------------------------------------------

A bit about 'me':

Adopted by: @your-fav-russian-assassin, @fox-barnes + @laufeykid-loki

alternative caretaker: @notquitebuckybarnes

Friends: @official-pietro-maximoff @the-real-peterparker @official-buckybarnes @prophet0bamas-left-toe @goddess-of-birds @thebolter1904 @nyxe-dragonetti @yeahimdarcy @wolverineofficial @your-darling-gaze @goddess-of-chaos-and-destruction

Pets: @scruffy-stray-cat (Tortilla), a duck named Noodle (no blog for it)

Approximate age: 12

Eye color: a brown I'm not sure how to describe. Like amber, but dark, but not dark enough to be medium brown... The fact they have gold, yellow, and green along with brown in the sun doesn't help.

Hair color: Light brown. It looks gold in the sun :)

Skin tone: Olive-y tan

Hair texture: Curly wavy

Height: 5'1

Pronouns: She/they

Birthday: December 16

Powers: Fire manipulation

------------------------------------------------------------

Looks like:

Tacos, animals, messing with people (in a friendly way), making risky decisions, Tacos, Math, Donuts, reading, lifting weights, Tacos, pranking, annoying people, Bucky, being called kid/kiddo, scaring @0din-borson and tacos.

------------------------------------------------------------

Likes:

Dislikes:

"I told you so", small dogs, Gen Z slang, Geography, waking up before 8:30, running, smarter people, child-proof caps, carrots, and having knives taken away from them.

------------------------------------------------------------

Will very much randomly give you a name if she doesn't remember it. Such as!

@thebolter1904 = Ikea

@goddess-of-birds = Stitch

(ooc- if any of you ever do not like these names or want to change them to something else, PLEASE tell me!!)

------------------------------------------------------------

Nicknames:

Tacocat (given by @fox-barnes

Tacos (given by @prophet0bamas-left-toe

Taco Bell (given by @official-buckybarnes)

Cat (given by @diana-astra)

Tic Tac (given by @official-buckybarnes)

Tacito (given by @ducktamer415)

------------------------------------------------------------

Problems:

'if I fits, I sits'

Screeches like a pterodactyl when excited, surprised, or overjoyed

Loves making bad decisions. Especially where I'll get hurt.

Thinks it's not okay to cry. (It's okay if other people do it, though.)

Mind is constantly in at least 4 places at once

Can't function without music

Laughs when people fall

Pyromaniac

'tattles'

Will beat you up if you touch me without my consent. Which you may never get. (This includes having your elbow be an inch too close to mine.)

Forgets directions seconds after they're given.

WARNINGS!

It's not good if I speak/act formally.

May act a little psychotic at times. Your sign to run is sudden giggling.

And that's all I can think of! Have fun with your life!

[verystrxxwberry]

hi there! ok, my request might be a bit strange, but: what would the guys in moonlight lovers be like as modern young people? i mean., knowing the seven adults who are in the age range from 30 to 2380 y/o, their personalities, styles and how they relate to each other, let's change the canon. 8 university students (including MC), living together in a dorm, studying different majors.

what do they study? how do they dress? what kind of young people are they? what are their tastes? i'm intrigued by the youth version of Vladimir, Neil or Aaron in the 21st century. i ask it as headcanons, but if you are more comfortable with an OS, whatever💗!

thanks in advance

MOONLIGHT LOVERS university AU

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: sfw, only routes (except Neil, I have a curse against him it seems…), routes living the 21st century, they’re humans, pics of the outfits, long!! ↝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: It’s not a strange request! I genuinely found it pretty cool and I have lots of ideas for this. I hope it is entertaining and you like it! I did it in a general way, both in University and also their normal lives in the 21st century, in headcanons.

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

AARON

Before going to university, he was just a regular student who passed stuff but without being brilliant at it. That’s fine for him, he didn’t want to get straight A’s but he didn’t want to fail either. He just wanted to do what he enjoyed.

His grades on math, history and sport are effortlessly good, getting all A’s. But that’s why he likes practical stuff instead of those subjects that have a lot of theory to memorize. History is an exception for him though. He likes to learn about past times.

It's canon already that his handwriting is a mess, but not only that, his notes ARE a mess.

When he reached university, he decided to study something that allowed him to be practical and to memorize less theory. This man loves both human and animal biology. He loves animals. That’s why he was raised with a few dogs who he took care of with all the love of his life. So he decided to study in a Veterinary school to specialize to be a veterinary surgeon.

He doesn’t like seeing animals in pain, and more than once during the practices he had to leave the room because it was too much for him to see an animal in pain. 

Aaron is good with animals and has all the patience when it comes to stand the smelly and noisy environments of farm animals (because veterinary surgeons are usually the ones in charge of diagnosing and treating domestic pets, farm animals, zoo animals and horses). He also knows how to keep animals calm and expects to be attacked more than once as they are also nervous living beings.

He had to move from the camp to a dorm in the city to be near that vet school and do his 5 or 6 years of major, which he achieved to do for his passion in healing and taking care of animals.

In that dorm he got really close to Raphael and Vladimir since they two were calm and had a lot of interesting stuff to talk about with Aaron. He also got along with Ivan since he sometimes needed help with math or other subjects (also some life advice). With Beliath things got slightly different and he got a mate to go drink with after work since they worked in the same restaurant for a few months.

To pay the rent and also his own needs he got to work in several places. 

His job career started by working in a restaurant, in which he worked for a few years. The first years living in the dorm he worked with Beliath in another restaurant, as mentioned before, but he decided to change and work in an Ikea after it.

He’s a big fan of music and some mythological literature. And when he gets to see some shows on Netflix thanks to Ethan, he becomes obsessed with Blood of Zeus (same). They all pay for Netflix together, the ones who use it at least.

About music… I hc he likes imagine dragons, hozier, adele, abba and glass animals. He got some influence from Ivan and Ethan and started liking Avenged Sevenfold, even if it’s not the kind of music he’d actually listen to.

He is the taxi driver for Ivan, Raphael and Vladimir. 

He doesn’t use his phone too much, and ALWAYS has the volume on. He doesn’t know how to use social media, only twitter and only because Ivan showed him. He is a dry texter and probably uses the thumbs up emoji 98% of the time.

He has a simple style and doesn't put much effort on it, as long as it is comfortable for him. He doesn't really like colorful stuff to wear.

BELIATH

This guy had to repeat a whole year of high school because he didn't put his effort at all. He wanted to have fun instead, making friends and going to parties, so he skipped classes to go somewhere with Ethan and other people, or maybe he was simply going through a terrible hangover. 

He is the kind of guy who is effortlessly smart but has no interest since he finds studying boring. He is too good at biology and physics though. When he repeated the year, he started getting very good grades at those two subjects because he decided to put in a little bit of effort just because Ethan motivated him. He basically got told “if you don't get a job of something you do enjoy, you will be enslaved in a restaurant and will suffer.”

Every challenge for him is accepted. So he will search for a restaurant or bar to work in to challenge himself. He would meet Aaron there and after it go to get some beers after their night switch.

He worked in a nightclub but got kicked after flirting with his customers. Sigh…

His grades were mainly Bs but he got As on biology thanks to his big knowledge<3.

He got stressed when he had to pick a career and didn’t really have it sure, he just decided to study something related to biology and did deep research to see what was more amusing for him. So he decided to pick simply biology, and then end up working as a pharmacologist, which seemed interesting and not so hard for him.

Still, he did not finish the major because he got tired of the same routine. Then he dropped but begged Vladimir to stay in the dorm now that he found a little family to live with.

He knew Ethan from the same work and thanks to Aaron they both could get into the dorm due to the need of being somewhere close to the universities where they did study.

Beliath loves to travel a lot and whenever he has a holiday, he goes on spontaneous trips to other cities or countries. He definitely has been to Spain, Poland, Finland, Italy, Norway and Germany. He aims to travel further and visit other continents as well. He would love to go to Canada and Australia.

He is a big Lady Gaga fan and has gone to concerts of her. His insta stories were a big evidence of how he yelled and vibed to it. Next day he had no voice.

He also likes Britney Spears, Bad Omens, Melanie Martinez, Michael Bublé, Childish Gambino, Ricky Martin…

He is always calling for taxis, and definitely late to everywhere he has to go.

He is pretty obsessed with his phone to send tiktoks and shit to Ethan. His messages are good to understand, he uses the typical :) and :P, uses lol and lmao a lot and definitely answers to stuff with memes… cringe memes… Ivan teases him for that…

Has a very well organized spotify for each mood of his day. And he has NO shame in putting up nasty ahh songs every time he showers and sing them out loud.

He posts suggestive pics on twitter… yet his instagram is very friendly. He still receives flirty messages from people because he is always handsome in his pics. He posts the worst pics he has of Ethan too though.

He probably has an onlyfans.

Big eurovision fan.

Casual yet formal and attractive.

VLADIMIR

He had to put effort on classes no matter what since his family was pretty strict with that topic. Still, he developed the habit of using his free time to study something so he didn’t forget the topics and he was able to understand the lesson better. He even went to a language academy thanks to his parents, where he discovered a big passion for learning languages. He started with French and then learnt Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, German, Italian… and he definitely knows a little bit of Russian and Arabic.

The subjects he enjoyed the most were English literature, history and language. He got all As except in sport, since he has had a weak physical condition since young.

Deep inside he never wanted to focus all his time on studying, yet he obeyed his parents. He didn’t plan on going to college and he was forced to get into a computer science major since it is the most advantageous university major. But he did NOT like it at all.

Even if in this AU he has grown in the technology century, he still does not like it at all, even if he owns a phone. He owns it, but never uses it. 

Even though he comes from a rich family, he decided to produce his money from a very young age with the idea of being independent sooner. He worked as a dog walker, as a teacher for younger kids that needed help with school, as someone to take care of the gardens of his neighbours… And thanks to this last job, he found out how much peace he got from being surrounded by flowers.

As soon as he turned 18, he moved into a dorm and searched for more roommates so the rent was cheaper and he didn’t have to explode himself that much. That’s how he met the other guys.

He didn’t finish the computer science major, he didn’t want it at all. He changed then into a horticultural science degree which he enjoyed the most and really had him in a good mood instead of studying something he didn’t like at all. During the years of the degree he achieved to open a flower shop in the city! 

It was notorious the amount of effort and excitement he put into his small business, which helped him for the economy. His flower shop is really well organized by types of flowers and their colors, then he has a section for medicinal and legal herbs, and a section of tools for gardening. He also made a catalogue for those spiritual people who believe in the meanings of each flower (and he explained it truly well in there). 

After the major, he went to a small course of herbs and then, once he was bored of not doing anything, he decided to do a major in a literature major, which he also truly enjoyed.

He has gone on small trips with Beliath… and not because he was going to enjoy the company of Beliath, but because he wanted to see the world.

Aaron, Raphael and him traveled to Egypt and enjoyed it a lot. Vladimir received a lot of calls from Ivan because Ethan and Beliath were making chaos in the dorm… He made video calls with Ivan to explain what they did on the day, just like a father-son relationship.

He has a blog where he writes his own self, expressing himself through writing. With this I mean that he posts poems and short narrative stories. He is planning to write a book :). But he also does book and movie reviews! Because he only likes seeing movies whenever Ethan, Aaron or Ivan are going to (as long as it isn’t terror). 

He has his own garden in the dorm and had to argue Ethan a lot to avoid getting weed plants in his PRECIOUS garden.

He likes classical music and jazz, not rock or noisy stuff. He likes Mitski, Amy Winehouse, some songs of beabadoobee and not much from the actual era. He prefers classical playlists that can be easily found on youtube…

Whenever he texts someone, it seems more like a letter from the 15th century than a casual message.

He keeps his style as formal as he can, no matter the context. He doesn't even care if his dressing code seems old for the century, he likes it and that's what matters.

RAPHAEL

As he grew up, he wasn’t a blind kid, so he had the chance to see the world around him and find out his passion for art. He is a person that truly does admire the effort of artists, writers and musicians. So even if everything in school went well for him, literature and art subjects always went good for him due to the extra passion he placed on it.

He begged his parents to get classic books to read and some of them mainly focused on art, finding a true devotion for art history.

He was a big fan of Raffaello Sanzio, getting some of his paintings in his bedroom such as The School of Athens. He also got some paintings to decorate the walls of his bedroom such as The Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh, Mystic Nativity by Botticelli…

He really wanted to study art history and be able to teach people about historical paintings. Not only that but he went to an academy to learn deeply about the methods to paint on canvas, since he also liked that kind of stuff. He sold his own paintings for not much money, but simply to get something. He even did some commissions to people around him that needed it.

Raphael has an old twitter account where he posted his art and offered commissions to others.

since in this AU vampires aren’t seen, I’m gonna change a little bit of his canon history. In this AU, the way Raphael got blind was due to a car accident on a trip with his friends, where Margarita was human and she unluckily died. 

He went to university late since he decided to first recover from the emotional shock and the depression he got sinked in. After it he decided to learn braille, and luckily he didn’t find it so hard, so he needed only weeks to be able to read, even if it was at a slow pace. He devoured braille books thanks to this, so it was a plus that he got to finish some books he had on his list since long ago.

He wanted to do something with his life that wasn’t simply reading in braille and being careful whenever he went outside to not get hurt. 

If he couldn’t see and analyze more paintings, thing that saddened him, he could rely on the musician side of him. He decided to focus on his musician side and improve his skills, now that his hearing would be the most developed sense in his body after touch.

He decided to get into a major in music theory and composition, where he was able to express himself thanks to music.

Thanks to Ivan he was able to find out about audiobooks, so whenever he decided to lie down and rest, he heard an audiobook of any book Vladimir told him about. He also listens to podcasts and some of them about philosophy, which he finds truly interesting.

He likes soft music such as jazz, something that is calm and it isn’t too loud for him.

Every time he goes out with Aaron and Vladimir, he takes a grip in any of their arms to not get lost. Then they three go to drink a coffee and talk about some stuff related to their lives.

He is the therapist friend… If you want a school motivation speech, he knows how to give it properly. He is good at teaching other people, listening to them and advice them.

To pay the rent he luckily got to work in a library, which he loved as it was almost always quiet. But years later he got to do his own compositions and thanks to Ivan, post them on some platforms to get money from his effort!

Vladimir would hire him in his shop :3

We know he is a sweetheart, so he gets along with everyone in the dorm, adapting to their likes. Whenever Ethan watches crime documentaries, he listens to it with all the attention.

He owns a phone but doesn’t use it, only to answer the calls of others.

When Vladimir or Beliath go to buy some clothes, he always asks them to pick something nice yet comfortable for him to wear in home. He definitely has the cutest style of all of them.

ETHAN

He is a regular student with regular grades who barely puts effort on it but never fails. He is the clown classmate, and many people can’t stand him, but he is smart. During class he puts attention only on those stuff he finds interesting, which is biology and maths. He dislikes history but is really good at it.

He skipped some classes to go smoke something with his group of friends or to go gossip somewhere with Beliath.

He put effort the last year before university just because he started finding interest in being a doctor thanks to some shows he watched on Netflix. So he was pretty clear on choosing a major in medicine.

And he achieved it! He surprisingly put a lot of effort on it because he wanted to take good advantage of those years. But that doesn’t stop him from going to a party and having an exam the next day…

Still, he was passionate about the idea of being a doctor, so he tried pulling for jobs in hospitals mainly. The first years there was no response, but later he managed to get into a hospital as a clinical radiologist. He often took pics of some broken bones of his patients and sent them to Ivan or Beliath… (ivan is traumatized)

He goes to parties with a black eyeliner which makes him fucking gothic n handsome because he loves it. He isn’t an edgy like Ivan, he is just a low level of punk. He loves to wear rings and a unique dressing code.

He has a spotify playlist with anime openings which he vibes to. And it is thanks to Ivan actually.

Ethan worked as a delivery man for certain companies before being a clinical radiologist, as he knows how to drive a motorcycle. 

Definitely dyed his hair several times.

Loves to take the guys to Finland so they can go skiing whenever they are bored. He loves adrenaline and those adventures which makes him feel it constantly.

He absolutely adores crime documentaries and terror movies. 

He has a few tattoos around his body, and some of them were even made when he went to some parties. He won’t have many tattoos that actually mean something to him.

During his free time he plays some of the games he has on steam, and you can also tell that the soundtrack of any game or movie he likes, will be on his playlist. He has a small library on steam and the games which have more hours are definitely risk of rain 2, terraria and devil may cry. Even though he plays lethal company with Ivan and other friends. He simply pays for those games he knows he will like.

Loves slipknot, glass animals, the neighbourhood, onerepublic… and basically anything that has him humming the melody afterwards.

His twitter is filled with memes and definitely things that will get him into a cancellation thread… he has to learn to shut the fuck up more often.

His instagram is made in revenge to Beliath, where he posts the worst pics of him. He has no fear in posting funny videos with Ivan, Aaron, Beliath and other friends. Even though he got scolded by Vladimir when he heard that Ethan posted a video of Vladimir talking to his roses in the garden and writing on a corner “he’s becoming psychotic”.

Probably opens a youtube channel to post vlogs, paranormal videos in which he goes to explore random places, tasting weird food…

IVAN

He is the kind of student who sometimes puts his effort but unluckily doesn’t get the grade he expected. He isn’t the best student, but he isn’t the worst. He hates the idea of needing the help of others to understand some subjects, but at the end he feels like he doesn’t know anything after studying almost all the noon. 

He was mostly late to class and that was because of Loic and him going to parties as teens (Constance joined most of times, yeah…), so he had hangover most of the times. Luckily that only was his teen years until he met Ethan near his campus and got a new friend group. Even if Ethan dragged him to parties, it was a way more healthy than with Loic and Constance.

His best grades were mainly on language and technology, maths and other shit were much lower than he ever expected. Still, he decided to do something he was more excited about: studying a major in computer science.

Even though the first months he found it difficult to be organized and did see it as a must, he learnt to like what he was doing and he became really passionate about the practical part.

It was currently something interesting for him as he was in constant touch with computers, a thing that he truly enjoyed.

He worked in a McDonald’s to pay the rent, and thanks to his knowledge through the years on the major, he was able to work in one of those stores where you can fix your computer and stuff. He enjoys it and he knows how to set up a computer piece by piece.

Edgy and freaky tastes in music huh. He goes from my chemical romance, slipknot, deftones, mindless self indulgence to The living tombstone, some k-pop groups (I need to make someone like aespa in here, but he also is an og EXO fan), and game soundtracks…

His steam acc is definitely filled with games, and some of them haven’t been touched yet. He spent all of his credit card in most parts of the games… (He is proud even if Vladimir and Aaron aren’t)

He is also an emo with his dressing code. 2010 emo vibes but modern at the same time… Vladimir has to scold him every now and then so he can wear something decent and regular to go to public spaces, but he doesn't actually have formal clothes actually… only the job ones..

He is a big jojo fan. He made Ethan and forced Aaron to watch jjba. He is always talking about jojo references and everyone around him see him as a weirdo -he is-

Bro is obsessed with brawl stars.

His twitter is filled with literally shitpost, just as his instagram. 

He and Ethan decided to share the youtube channel so both of them had the chance to do their craziness ft. Beliath around there. 

✰; remember to reblog and like to support my content, I hope you enjoyed it!

[icallhimjoey]

In 120 Hours

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: You work as a temp and are offered a very exclusive interview for a very exclusive job. You see, someone needs a personal assistant for a very eventful week, and you happen to be the perfect fit.

CW / disclaimer: 18+, language, drinking, rpf, fem!reader

Author’s note: part four! this is where we get unprofessional, but, you know, it's not just you. for all my new readers, know that my joey is soft joey first and foremost - if you were waiting for some filthy smut, im sorry to disappoint!

Wordcount: 4.5K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

At 6AM sharp you grabbed the remote control from Joe’s bedside table and turned his TV off before placing a cup of coffee down.

“Get up, Joe,”

You were still in pyjamas yourself, bedhead, barefooted, voice groggy and sleep still stuck in the corners of your eyes. On your way out of Joe’s bedroom, you said, “We’re leaving in about thirty minutes,” and then didn’t get a response.

You stopped in the doorway, looked back and couldn’t help but imagine what sleeping in that big bed with Joe would be like. The bed looked like it was a twelve-year-old Ikea piece that had been taken apart and put back together too many times - like it would wobble unsteadily any time someone in the bed would turn over. Good thing his new bed was coming in today.

You found the switch for the big light, slapped it, and flushed the room with bright white, hurting your own eyes as well as probably Joe’s.

“Joe?”

Then a thumbs up shot up from the big pile of white duvet, and you scoffed, huffed a laugh, and said “Coffee’s on your bedside table, we’re having breakfast at the shoot.”

In the car on the way over it was quiet. You were both freshly showered, and you’d even had the time to blow dry your hair, but it was still early, and the both of you were still tired. You imagined it was mostly because of the loud TV – there was no way Joe was getting any better sleep than you were with that thing blaring. At least your new earplugs worked just fine and you’d managed to get a lot more sleep than the night before.

The morning felt a little heavy, because with all the driving around London, getting to see so much of it, you had started thinking about why you hadn’t actually moved back yet. Memories of your ex wanting to move away, back to his hometown, his estranged nan dying and leaving him the house... it felt like you’d hit the jackpot at the time. And your family was relatively close too, so it was fine. But you’d had real withdrawal symptoms from leaving the city, and now that you were no longer actually with him, you tried to think of reasons why you’d bought a flat in his hometown after you broke up, but you came up empty.

“Are you all right?”

You looked at Joe whose eyebrows quirked, giving away a polite bit of worry.

“There’s going to be a lot of deliveries today, I’m doing mental math to figure out how I’m going to do this,” you lied in truths. “And I’m really hungry.”

Joe was asked to go to a workshop after the photoshoot, just for an encouraging word, nothing insane, but it meant you were going to be rushing a bit. After the appearance at the workshop, there’d be a phone interview, and then there’d be another screening.

Joe sighed.

“I don’t want to be rude and skip it, but, I kind of want to skip the film screenings today,”

“You’ll still have to go to be seen, talk to some people,”

“Yea, don’t really want to do that either,”

You paused, looked over Joe’s schedule, at how many things there were, saw that tomorrow was his film premiere with the Q&A straight after, and then the day after that, the awards ceremony. You understood the want for a short break, looked at Joe and said, “Let’s have breakfast first, before you make any rash decisions,”

But then Joe smiled wistfully, and you knew this wasn’t a rash decision at all.

Fine.

You could come up with a vague excuse for him, no problem.

A busy morning passed you by, and you'd made a deal with Joe’s driver. You said he could have the evening off if he would go back to Joe’s house to sign for furniture deliveries, and then you’d call if you needed him to come pick you up and bring you somewhere else.

A tricky deal because this was power you definitely didn’t yield. But Joe had said he didn’t want to go to the screenings, which effectively meant that he wouldn’t need to be brought anywhere from the workshop forward.

You were lucky the driver seemed to like you, with a sneaky wink and a small smile, the driver dropped you off, accepted the front door key you handed him and drove right back to Joe’s address.

And then you spent the whole photoshoot on the phone to him, because the men moving the furniture in had also been paid to place all pieces in the correct rooms, and then when you heard the driver walk up all the stairs, you felt like you were crossing a thousand boundaries letting all these people into Joe’s house without you or Joe being there.

“They want to take the big bed out of the master bedroom,”

“Yea sure, can they disassemble it and leave it in another room on the first floor? Just so it’s out of the way. We can maybe use it for another guest room, or whatever, don’t let them take it away. Wait. They can take the mattress; can they take the mattress? There’ll be new ones coming in. Not having to haul that thing off ourselves will be a huge help.”

“Yes, ma’am,”

You crossed your fingers that everything would work out fine, and that you weren’t going to walk into a huge unfixable mess of a house later that day.

Joe basically had a full day of picture taking. The shoot was obviously very camera heavy, but the appearance at the workshop was basically a fan meeting in and of itself. It was all teenagers who either already went to film school, or really wanted to go to film school, and Joe was the only big celebrity that people who weren’t into film would also recognize in a selfie. So, they all wanted selfies, and who was Joe to tell them no?

On the way back to Joe’s house in the late afternoon, you asked him if he wanted to do the scheduled phone interview, and just when Joe was about to say something snarky about you asking him if he wanted to, you had the phone already ringing for him.

Joe narrowed his eyes at you with a small sneaky smile, and started a mild insult, “You little– hello!” but wasn’t able to finish because someone picked up on the other end. You grinned, couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your throat, and this time, Joe didn’t grab your knee to squeeze, but his fingers found your forearm to scratch before he focused all his attention on the lady on the phone who asked him questions about previous and upcoming projects.

Deep breaths, everyone. It was just a scratch. One that made your belly somersault, but you know, t’was just a little scratch. Nothing major. Shit. You had to calm down.

When you rounded the corner into Joe’s street, it was time to face the music. See what state the house was left in by the delivery men.

Downstairs in the living room, there were three rolled up rugs, still in its plastic packaging, a new TV unit, another sideboard that was meant to become a little bar area for Joe, and there were large ceiling lights, still in their boxes – no sofa yet. In the dining room, next to the clothing racks, were ten dining room chairs, lights and a long shelf – no table yet.

You knew upstairs Joe’s new bed would’ve been delivered, and you were about to tell him about it, but stepping into the kitchen you could see Joe hunched over the counter, reading a script, and munching on a banana.

When he saw you, he looked up and asked, “Do you mind if I go sit in your room to read this?”

Your room.

“Of course not, go ahead, it’s your house.”

And Joe left you alone. Which was great actually. It’d give you time to unpack furniture, drag things into their right spots and, you know, see your vision come to life a little. You texted Joe’s management a weak excuse for Joe not going to the film screenings or the industry happy hour that day and got to work.

At 6PM you called, “Joe, you hungry? Should I order some food?” up the stairs. You heard movement, saw him appear at the top and he said, “I’ll cook us something,” as he made his way down.

You watched him jog all the way down, and when stood next to you at the bottom, he gave you a confused look, asked, “What?”

You looked down at his hands.

“How are your wrists doing?”

Joe looked down as well, rotated both hands, completely unsure of what you meant.

“Because you’ve got a lot of signing to do tonight,”

About two hours later, all furniture had been unpacked, all plastic and cardboard had been sorted and taken out, Joe’s clothing racks had found a new home in an empty room upstairs and you had both eaten a beautiful home-cooked meal.

Because there was no sofa and no dining table yet, the two of you found yourselves on the floor, laid out on one of Joe’s new rugs. You were passing Joe photographs of himself in costume, one by one, and Joe signed the same squiggly ‘Joe’ on all of them, laying on his side, hanging into one of his shoulders.

It was boring assembly line work. But there was wine. A lot of wine. And music. Although, you had real strong doubts about the playlist Joe’d put on, but whatever, people liked different things. It was fine.

“If someone had told you five years ago that you’d be signing five thousand pictures of yourself the night before your film would premier at the London Film Festival, would you have believed them?”

“The person I was five years ago was a lot more confident than you’d think,” Joe said, having a sip of wine, giving his hand a 5 second break from holding the sharpie before getting right back into the routine. Dangerous game this, having red wine on a brand-new rug.

“I probably wouldn’t have believed them, not deep down, but I would’ve definitely pretended they’d been right,” Joe continued.

“Sort of, blind confidence, you’d have been like, me? oh yeah,”

“Yea, me? famous in five years? yes, absolutely,”

You both laughed.

You had a nice rhythm going, working in a big triangle. You would slide a photo over to Joe from his left, Joe would sign it, and slide it away from him to your left, where they all gathered in a huge pile that you’d later organize into neat stacks to go back into the boxes. But there were so many photographs, you’d no idea how you were going to finish them all with tomorrow and the day after being busy days.

“You’re a fidgeter,” Joe suddenly said, and you immediately stilled your fingers and balled your hands into fists.

“I’m a fidgeter?” emphasis on the I, you reached for your wine and took a sip, giving Joe some accusatory eyes. You’d seen Joe fidget his way through his days – thumbs finding the underside of his rings, teeth biting into the skin of his lips, sweaty palms being rubbed over his knees, whatever there was left of his nails scratching into his scruff... you wondered if there was anything left of the confident Joe from five years ago he’d just described.

“I’m not saying that I’m not, I’m just saying that you clearly are too,”

You looked at your hand – at your ring, and kind of wished it would’ve just reminded you of your grandmother by now, but it didn’t. Of course, it didn’t. Would it ever?

“That’s a nice ring,” Joe observed, making polite conversation, but carefully, because your face would do this thing whenever you looked at it, or touched it, and Joe didn’t like how he’d lose you for a second.

“Thanks, it um... it used to belong to my grandmother,”

And that’s when Joe thought he understood.

“I’m so sorry,”

You looked up and saw two ridiculously empathetic eyes look at you, displaying far too much pure, raw emotion, especially because it was totally misplaced, too.

“Oh no, she’s alive still. Very alive. Probably making a poor kid behind a bar somewhere cry because he’s mixed her drink wrong,” you chuckled, but it died quick, got stuck in the back of your throat somewhere as it constricted. And Joe didn’t speak, which, honestly, if he’d really been this kind dude that he was portraying to be, he would’ve said something by now so you didn’t feel the need to fill the silence yourself.

But he didn’t. And now you were going to have to share personal information about yourself.

You waited a second longer, looked at Joe to see if maybe he was going to say something, but he’d stopped signing, even capped the sharpie, and just looked at you.

Fuck.

“No um, so, this used to belong to my grandmother, and then she gave it to my boyfriend to propose to me with it, and he did, but then, that... we didn’t work out, so, I’m not engaged anymore, but I can’t give the ring back to him, can I? It used to be my nan’s!”

You were rambling a little, not making eye contact as you reached for the bottle of wine to refill your glass. Surely Joe had left it out here because the expectation was that you were going to finish it, right?

“My nan’s, not his... so I turned it into a normal ring, started wearing it on another finger, and now I... I kind of wear it to prove to myself that it’s something that ties me and my nan closer together, and it's not, you know, the engagement ring my ex-boyfriend gave to me,”

You moved the bottle over to Joe’s glass, and he gave it a small nudge to get it closer to you for a top up.

“But it just, it obviously just reminds me of him all the time... I’ve convinced myself there’s going to be a moment where it won’t, and maybe that will actually be the case, at some point,” you were talking with your hands, waving the bottle around and it made Joe reach a fearful hand over. That was red wine, and you were on a new rug.

“Oh, sorry,”

You knew how expensive this rug was, too.

“Go on,” Joe said softly, as he silently slid your glass away from you a little too.

“No, um, yea...” You shook your head to get back on track. “It’s not been that long anyway, so who knows. I don’t want to give up on it yet, it’s just stupid that it was an engagement ring before it was anything else to me, you know?”

Joe nodded, asked, “How long has it been?”

“About a month and a half,”

“Since you broke up?”

“Um no, since I secretly bought myself my own flat.” You huffed out a laugh. You knew it wasn’t funny, but you also knew that you sounded like a clinically insane person.

Joe didn't look at you as if you were crazy, but he also didn't say anything.

“I knew,” you squeezed your eyes shut for a moment. “I knew it wasn’t going to work out. I should’ve never said yes, I should’ve never – honestly, I should’ve never even moved out of London for him, but you know... things happen.”

You slid another photograph of Eddie over to Joe, and it prompted Joe to uncap this sharpie again, sign the one that was still in front of him before moving onto the next. Slower pace now though.

“I only ended the engagement last week,”

“You had your own flat for over a month and he didn’t know?”

“Yep. No clue.” you smiled a painful smile, then cleared your throat. “So, that’s why I’m single.”

Another photo for Joe. Another sip of wine for you.

“What about you?”

“Why am I single?” Joe’s eyes shot up at you, a little playful smile underneath.

“Why do you fidget, you idiot,”

Joe laughed.

“But sure, that too. What’s got you all fucked up inside?”

Joe then grinned, silently signed a few more photographs, then took a deep breath and closed his sharpie again before leaning down further, head now supported by his hand.

“At the risk of sounding like the biggest twat ever,”

“Okay wait,”

You moved, positioned yourself to lay on your stomach, feet up behind you, leaning heavily into your shoulders, ready to listen.

“I’m ready, go,”

Joe laughed silently, then nodded to himself, and said, “You know how fizzy drinks, sparkling drinks, how they go flat if you leave them out long enough?”

Fantastic. An actor using a metaphor.

“Yes,”

“That’s kind of... that’s kind of what tends to happen with me. I’ll really like something, or someone, and then... it loses the bubbles. And I don’t like coke without any bubbles in, you know? I’d rather not drink it, just, get something else instead.” Joe groaned as he heard himself say it. “I don’t mean, I don’t – you know, I don’t shove someone out and just get someone new in immediately, that’s not...” Joe didn't finish the sentence.

You looked at Joe for a second, then clicked your tongue.

“Easy fix, you’ve just got to stop going around and leaving bottles uncapped,”

And Joe laughed. Threw his head back and let the rest of his body follow, rolling onto his back, and you couldn’t help but laugh with him. “What? Tell me I’m wrong!” you challenged him.

“Well, I can’t keep all the bottles closed the whole time either, can I? I’ve got to fill up some glasses,”

Joe was slowly losing you with this metaphor.

“Sure, so, fill up a glass, put the cap back on, and back in the fridge it goes!”

A more tentative silenced followed next. Joe flipped back onto his side and reached for his wine.

“Or maybe we could just have wine forever.”

Your conversation carried on, and you talked about all different kinds of things. Joe had you explain the full vision you had for the room you were in, had you dart around gesturing where the sofa would go, which light had to be hung where, what paint colours to use for each wall, which Joe had to get painters in for, because these ceiling are too high to do that safely yourself, buddy. And Joe said he loved it, but you didn’t believe him, because Joe didn’t seem like the guy who could visualize the way you could. He’d confessed being bad at that when it came to his outfits, how was he ever going to convince you that he could do it for his interior? But fine. You could accept a compliment, even if it didn’t mean anything. They were kind words anyway.

When you finished the bottle of wine, Joe asked what time you needed to wake up tomorrow, and it wasn’t until 10 that a stylist would come over with clothing for the premier, so you said 9AM and Joe promptly opened the second bottle before sitting back down and filled up both your glasses once more before getting back into signing.

There was a brief moment where Joe tried to teach you how to forge his signature so you could help, but it was very obvious which ones you’d done, so that plan was quickly given up on.

And when that second bottle was nearing its end as well, somehow, the conversation lulled back onto singledom, and you talked about how being single was actually really quite nice.

You had all this time to yourself, no one to answer to. The place would actually be quiet for once. No mess from other people to clean up after – fully ignoring your current temp job in the moment, you’d been cleaning up after Joe all evening – and no person to yell at you for making a mess.

But then it quickly took a turn, and you both became sarcastic.

“It’s great having dinner by yourself all the time,” Joe spoke into his glass.

“Waking up in empty beds is so fine,” you gulped your last sip down.

“Going out and being the only single one in your group of people is not weird at all,”

“13th wheeling is so fun, isn’t it?”

“Oh, the best,”

“It’s great reaching for a hand to hold in bed and finding that the only other hand in there is your own other hand,” you said, and Joe winced at that, laughed because that felt too real.

“And it’s easy to fight off any loneliness by just turning on the TV to pretend there’s people around and you’re not so fucking alone all of the time,”

And you gasped a sad breath, making Joe freeze just as he was about to take his last sip, and he pointed a finger.

“No, don’t,”

“Oh no... you have that TV blaring because...”

“Don’t,”

“Because you’re lonely?” Your eyebrows couldn’t possibly knit together any further. “Joe, that’s really sad,” you said, but you burst out laughing straight after.

“Yea, well,” Joe emptied his glass, let the last bit of red slide down his throat. “At least I don’t hold my own fucking hand in bed,”

You erupted into full belly laughter. Just, raw joy from the deepest pits within you. It all bubbled up and out, and you laughed until you couldn’t anymore because it started to hurt your stomach too much. You were tipsy, sure, but you hadn’t been able to laugh at yourself like this in ages. Felt great. Sort of cleansing, in a way.

You’d not even gotten through half a box of photographs.

Time for bed.

There was something nice about tidying up before bed, moving things into the kitchen, turning off all the lights and walking up the stairs together. You said goodnight as you walked into the guest room, and Joe made his way up another flight, but you’d only just taken your socks off when Joe called down for you.

“Um... I think we have a problem?”

Joe’s bed.

You ran up the stairs and found Joe, staring at his new bed. Flat-packed, still. There were dressers, nice armchairs, and bedside tables too. But all still in boxes. Wrapped in plastic. New mattresses nowhere to be found.

Shit.

You’d forgotten all about Joe’s bedroom, and the two of you just stared at it for a moment, trying to think of what to do.

“Take the guest room,” you suddenly said, opting a very sensible solution. “I’ll go... I don’t know, find a hotel to stay at for the night,” But then Joe was already scooping up his pillows that had been left in a pile on the side, and said, “Or, we could pillow-wall it?”  

After asking maybe fifteen times if you felt comfortable, if you were okay with this, if you really were fine, which, “Yes, Joe, shut up, this bed is massive, I won’t even feel it if you turn,” you were in bed together with Joe’s pillows strategically placed in between you underneath the covers. Like you were children who both thought the other was gross and touching each other in your sleep would be the death of you. It was fine. Cute even, but you kind of wished they weren’t there. They had to be. Obviously. You were his PA. Ew, gross. Were you getting paid to sleep in the same bed? Technically you were, weren’t you? Disgusting - that was a thought to push down immediately and to forget about forever.

You were right about the bed, though. It really was wide enough for you to move around freely and not have it be weird. But, you know, it was still a little weird. And you were both a little awkward about it, so you found solace in humour as you got comfortable in the dark.

“If someone had told you a five years ago,” Joe started, and already had you giggling. “That you’d be sleeping in the same bed with me, would you have believed them?” Joe asked, and you could hear how he tried to hold back his own giggles.

You were two ten-year-olds at a slumber party, that's exactly what this felt like.

“You were nobody five years ago,” you laughed. “I would’ve gone, who?”

“Who the fuck’s Joe Quinn?” Joe said in a high-pitched voice.

“I’d also probably say, that won’t ever happen, I would never let my boss talk me into bed with him,”

“Oi, fuck off,” Joe laughed. “I’m only here because you fucked up,”

Oof, shots fired over the pillow wall.

“I’m sorry there’s no TV in here for you to deafen your own sad thoughts with,” you fired right back.

“Good night,” Joe spoke sternly, and then you both laughed until silence took over.

“Good night,” you then said back in a softer tone of voice and turned over onto your side. Joe yawned, said good night in a nice way too, indicating that it really was time to sleep now. No more chatting, no more joking. Just silence, and sleep.

You didn’t know how much later it was when you suddenly snapped out of thought – one of those moments where you were like, oh I’m still awake? I could’ve sworn my thoughts were dreams – by something touching your wrist.

“Stop fidgeting,” you heard Joe whisper drowsily, his voice muffled by duvets and pillows. He’d snuck an arm over to your side and let his fingers wrap around your wrist. Almost in a reflex, you twisted in his grip and took hold of his wrist too.

You laid like that for a little while, until you had the thought that, if you were to fall asleep, your grip would loosen and you’d lose each other. You didn’t know why that pained your chest the way it did, but it was enough for you to move your hand down, fit it into his, and Joe followed your lead as your fingers laced together. You inhaled a sharp breath, and you felt Joe squeeze tightly. You could cry at how comforting this was.

“Don’t let go of it,” you whispered into the dark.

“I won’t.”

And without trying to overthink about how you’d gotten here, which steps you’d taken throughout the past three days that lead up to this moment, you fell into a deep sleep, sunk all the way into the plush softness of the bed, holding hands with Joe, with only fifty-six hours on the clock still.

—

The Taglisted: 

@ghostinthebackofyourhead @dirtyeddietini @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @sadbitchfangirl @thatonefan-girl @paola-carter @eddiemunsonfuxks

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(taglist currently full, sorry)

[emero0]

Man i love 88 kasa

Its so pretty and holds a special place in my heart—

Wait-

GUYS THERE WERE CATS AND NOBODY TOLD ME?!!?!??

Honorable squirrel mention also who do we thinks in the photo chat? /j

Kinda looks like kagamines but probably tenmas considering the event which is really sweet

Dang now im analyzing the card-

Why is there a key? Why does the open book next to tsukasa look like a math textbook or an ikea instruction manual?

Asking the big questions here /j

[kimyoonmiauthor]

A few gender things...

In light of people being A-holes over the Olympics and particularly mixing transphobia, racism (mostly anti-Black, but also anti-Asian), sexism, I thought I would do a list of a few things to ponder while people are being a-holes about it.

When I was in Middle school, we had intramural sports—soccer, baseball, dodgeball.

Some of the girls were legit much better than the boys.

That author who shall not be named has an intramural sport called quidditch. (which, BTW, is pretty much stolen from 2 games, both of which originated in China... which is kinda mind numbing considering that character...)

If she believed that boys were stronger than girls, then why, why is Quidditch intramural all the way up through adulthood? The positions also are interchangeable between the sexes. It's also a contact sport.

Back when I thought I was cis and dating a cis guy ('cause queer denial and not enough information on the internet)

He insisted, since he's the guy that he would build the bookshelf for me, which I didn't really need him to do, but he was one of those "guy role" assholes or whatever. And he really, really struggled with building the bookshelf. It was one of those kits you buy. Like Ikea, Sauder, etc. (but not from scratch). He could not figure it out.

I looked at it, being a child of an engineer and figured it out without swearing pretty quickly.

Likewise when he needed help refinishing a table, I knew how to do it and he didn't.

Why? I had the life experience by that point and had tinkered with wood quite a few times. I'd made a doll out of wood (to be fair, a pillar), I'd made a birdhouse from a kit. My Dad had shown me how to use a saw. My uncle let me use his tools in his garage.

But this ex was so held up with the idea of "weak women don't build things" that he thought I couldn't do it. But he insisted and I wasn't going to argue with him because he was kinda an asshole.

Gender ideology is kinda dumb when you're that strict.

This ex also believed in pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen, which he knew pissed me off.

Also told me that I wasn't skinny enough at 135 lbs and 5' 6". So yeah, asshole.

Let's play a round of what gender are these people from personality descriptions.

Person A

Likes Science. Is really good at math. Good at chemistry equations. Like salmon pink because they like eating salmon. Doesn't really understand emotions that well.

Person B

Like the color black and pink—those are their favorite colors. Loves nature and nature walks. Wanted to be a Park ranger. Dislikes going out too much.

Person C

Favorite color is Green. Likes drawing. Not good at cooking. Spends 2 hours preening in the mirror. Loves Shopping. Cares a lot about what other people think about them.

Person D

Tends to sleep a lot. Isn't that scared of heights. Has bungee jumped a number of times and to the point that to gain extra points in games will bungee jump more times. Has unbelievably good luck.

Person E

Scared and anxious about heights all of the time. Like even 8 feet off the ground gets to them. Nervous about everything. Has a wicked sense of humor. Wears glasses. Loves Ramyeon and will preach about the correct way to make it. A decent cook. Reports that their home chores are to wash dishes for their spouse.

I bet you guessed wrong. These things are gendered. But you can't know for sure.

As I pointed out life experience, and so on shape what they can and can't do which doesn't necessarily correspond to gender.

Olympics

The racism in the Olympics are already that Black women are "manly" and don't act "feminine" enough because literally a connection to slavery and the whole "Black people feel less pain" stereotype. https://www.aamc.org/news/how-we-fail-black-patients-pain

'cause if you're going to literally enslave a whole population of people, you need to dehumanize them by saying things like they feel less pain, all of the women are actually men (to justify that you know, white men didn't r*pe black women, though they absolutely did) and so on.

Literally trying to make them into Morlocks.

With Asians, it's the reverse. Asians were made out to be "hyper feminine" on the heels of—yes, you guessed it, institutionalized rape via treaties forced on India, China, Most of Southeast Asia, Korea and Japan. They aren't *that* kind of workforce. So you have to reframe the population psychologically in two ways: the men aren't manly enough and the Asian women are hyper white women. The white women who suddenly in the 1900's learned to fight for rights—like "how dare they" type of psychology. In doing it this way, you can argue the women that these men basically r*ped "wanted it" so they feel better about themselves.

Thus an Asian woman not acting hyper feminine is to these people "must be a man" and you know, Asian men are seen as "weak" and undesirable after years of fighting and reframing Asian men so Asian women wouldn't want them. This makes the Asian woman "less desirable" because they are "really a man."

And a quick reminder here for the white trans people who sometimes get amnesia, that author who shall not be named literally started with Black trans women. Which you keep glossing over every. single. time. Like, be intersectional and talk the racism too and invite black trans women in. I've been seeing an uptick of people who are "shocked at that author's racism from white trans faction and like—did you get amnesia, she literally started her path to hating trans people from hating PoCs and specifically Black trans women during Pride.

She was doing poorly on PoCs long before she was slipping terribly on the whole "But Dumbledore was Gay" I'm saying this: Get with it.

Anyway, the research has solidly shown that there are two factors to physical strength: socialization. If you constantly tell women what they do is weak and not worth anything, of course they aren't going to be physically strong. "Be a princess."

And the other factor is training.

Every terf out there when you point out that through training women can be stronger than men, go onto something like, "What are you talking about? We are talking about the average."

So you are saying that women can be stronger than men and can train and beat a boy at sports based on their interests...

and then watch them backpedal hard.

If you show them the stats for women who are better at marathoning than men. (Haha, apparently applies to sex too... but ace spec thoughts, I suppose on the weirdness of sex. Allos for some reason flip out when I point out how weird sex can be? And not weird in sex shaming way, but like the whole thing? Human sex in particular.) they start to flip out.

But sports in every freakin' ad says it's not just physical fitness, but mental fitness too. And then the people who want everyone to stick to white gender roles invented after the 1950's, because WTF is with some of their disciplining, somehow often think white mental acuity is higher than everyone else (you can test some white terfs on this by tip toeing towards it.) You can test them to see if they've ever left their country of origin too, because that often challenges your idea of what gender is and isn't.

Anyway, the point is, it's an intersection of these things, and often people are so entrenched into white gender ideals, they don't like being challenged.

I met someone online who was (not naming the ethnicity, not white) who blocked me because I pulled up folktales from their culture with cross dressing and trans people which were extolled in their culture as one of the top 4 folktales of all time and pointed out the shift from more fluid ideology of gender to a colonizer one and they couldn't handle it.

Similarly, I did this with someone who claimed to be from Nigeria (you can't trace this one easily). And so I pulled Nigerian tribe groups with the third gender category and asked them why are they working for the colonizers and from the name of the groups, you could tell it was native to Nigeria.

Terfs 100% work on a colonizer agenda. Don't tolerate it. And don't freakin' forget that the author hated on Black trans women to slip down the anti-trans train. Keep shouting it. Especially as a white trans person. Keep pointing out the racism. You have to recognize it's on the heels or colonializing racism a lot of these anti-trans people are working on.

Also, gender doesn't dictate much of shit besides what's "acceptable to wear" out in society which is ever shifting. I know a boy that liked purple pink and orange. Are you telling me that those colors are gendered, thus men can't eat carrots or salmon? I think people need to get off of it. Gender is the least stable bit about culture, at least to me. I mean 10 years ago, the gender thoughts of flexibility for men were different.

[mxmspeedster]

sfw alphabet with oscar piastri

mentions of male reader and toxic relationships but nothing graphic. and swearing, but your here so thats on you. fair warning, i'm mildly dyslectic but i had grammarly to help me this time so i should be better than the last one lmao.

auto correct saved my life on this one, i wrote in two hours listening to viva la vida but lofi on repeat.

a- affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

hugs !! my god does this boy love to hug you. his driver room? hugs. middle of a flight? he will hug you. cooking? back hugs. he will do anything for a hug. he also loves to give you small, everyday things that remind him of you. he sees a flower shop with your favorites in the window, he’ll by them for you. soft toy of your favorite animal? he’ll get one, put a little bow on it and gift it to you. he would so give you a little ring with ‘81’ on the inside, if you played a sport/raced he would have a matching one with your number in it. and if you didn’t, he would put your initials. vv sweet baby.

b- best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

he would drag you to his house to watch every single race when you were kids. you’d be forced to sit next to each other in the seating plan and became fast friends, especially if you’re good at math, (why do you think i have so many friends?) he would miss a lot for racing so you’d take extra notes for him so he would buy you a little trinket at every race, and you’d put them all on a shelf. (your parents had to take you to IKEA and get new shelves, just for the trinkets.)

c- cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

little spoon. even better if you’re taller than him. if you disagree, you can talk to the rock wall as i climb it. (i’m a rock climber btw, this isn’t meant to be a joke)

d- domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

he cooks and bakes a lot. (in Australia, you have a class (i had to take if for two years but that varies) on cooking, he would thrive there). he would do all the cooking because he loves it so much, so you would always clean up to share the work load. he would so want to by a little cozy house, maybe on a hobby farm, and adopt kids with you. you would take in sibling sets so they wouldn’t get separated in the system. i can see him doing that later in his career (after he wins a WDC maybe), and he would be a stay at home (working form home) dad for your little family (of like 10 kids across four adoptions and a surrogacy) while you worked full time.

e- ending (if they break up with their partner, how do they do it?)

he would let them down gently. he wouldn’t break up with someone for no reason, so if it was out of his control, he would by flowers and do it somewhere privet but with no real sentimental value to anyone. he’d cry doing it too. but like i said, unless they cheated of him, bby wouldn’t break up with anyone, ever. it probably meant he had a toxic high school relationship that one of his sisters had to get him out of because he didn’t want to make anyone upset :(

f- fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they be to get married?)

if he won an aus gp he would so take you out to dinner at his favorite place (he looks like the kinda guy to take you grilld at any and every opportunity) and propose to you at a park with ice cream afterwards. i think he would have no problem settling down. it’d give him some peace of mind that he always had someone in his corner to go home to after a bad race or stressful day.

g- gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he would treat you like glass, even if you could kill him with your bare hands, he’d still be so so so gentle with you. he’d always ask you how you’re feeling, and would tilt his head while listen to you talk about your emotions. the king of communication. 100%.

h- hugs (do they like hugs? what are their hugs like?)

he loves hugs. i will not be elaborating. (especially if you lay on top of him, he loves it, it makes him feel so safe.)

i- i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)

depends on how long he’s known you. if you met as kids, he’d probably say it to you before you got together (in a platonic way.) but otherwise he’d wait until you said it to him.

j- jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

he gets jelous so easlity, but he wouldn’t show it. if someone was flirting with you, he’d go all quite and moody as he holds your hand tighter or hugs your waist. he won’t outwardly do anything to anyone because he trusts you so much, he knows you would never do anything.

k- kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

he loves to kiss you. he would kiss your cheek then blush and run away. if you had tattoos, he would so kiss them. if you kissed him, anywhere, he would melt into a pile of goo and mark would have to stop him spacing out every five minutes for the rest of the day.

l- little ones (how are they around children?)

he loves children. did you see him with the grid kids at the aus gp? he didn’t look like he stepped on lego for once. if you had to baby sit a small child (between 4yo and 10yo) he is so coming with you. he’d probably enjoy the toys/shows you give to the kid than the actual kid.

m- morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

if you had a whole day off, you would just never leave the bed. he’s be so cuddly and soft. if you try moving before 10 am he would complain that it’s too cold without you. then you’d make breakfast and eat on the balcony/porch together. until lando or logan comes over unannounced and insist that you all play a video game.

n- night (how are nights spent with them?)

so so so soft. he goes to bed a 7 pm on the dot every day. the golden light from the setting sun would be so cute. he’d look like a teddy bear. he’d also insist that he childhood toy would sleep with you guys.

o- open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything at one or wait a white to reveal things slowly? )

he’d be so mysterious and would suddenly drop lore like he’s a dad or something. you wouldn’t know anything for months, then you suddenly know his favorite flower is a daisy and he once had to go the hospital because he ate a dandelion. then you have to wait months for any new information.

p- patience (how easily angered are they?)

he is a saint. unless your lando, logan or fredrik, then he is perpetually annoyed at you. if you had a disability (both visible or invisible) he’d be so so patient with you if you were slower to get somewhere/do something/understand him. and if you spoke a different language, he’d learn it in secret so you could talk. he’d probably be more comfortable talking in your native language than in english, he gives me the vibes of “i don’t like speaking English to people i’m close to, it doesn’t feel special enough for them.”

q- quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he would remember every little detail you ever tell him ever. your favorite pen brand you mentioned as you walked though officeworks or your Favorite teacher from when you were 5. he will remember everything. until you ask him, then he forgets his own name.

r- remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

when you brought him flowers for the first time when he was still in f3. you brought them for him when you went on your first in person date since covid started and he took them home and pressed them so he could put them in a frame and keep them forever. he’d set the photo of you two from that date as his wallpaper and would always show it to people like “look at my man :D”

s- security (how protective are they? how would they protect you?)

he would wrap himself around you entirely when he wants to protect you but he also cried when he almost killed a spider so i don’t think he’d be capable of anything else.

t- try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts everyday tasks?)

he puts so much effort it making things special for you were ever he can but it’s all or nothing. it’s either pizza on the living room floor with a shitty film, or the most expensive wine he could find with a home cooked, three course meal on a balcony in Paris. he’d always make is special for you, but it depends on his mood and what he can do.

u- ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

he’d bite your fingers if you put them too close to his mouth. he’d get the overwhelming sense of love and would bite your fingers to keep your hands on him or at least close to him because he would cry otherwise. this wouldn’t be a problem for you if it weren't for the fact he has sharp teeth and a strong jaw.

v- vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

he does not care. he does not give two fucks about how he looks. until it’s a fancy date, then he cares. he’d learn how to do eyeliner so he’d look extra good for you. (him in eyeliner, i’d pay money to see that)

w- whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

absolutely. he would cry every night he couldn’t be with you or call/talk to/see you. he would take your clothes so he could feel even just a little but closer to you.

x- xtra (a random headcanon for them)

he’d call you ducky. no reason for it. he just called you that one day and never stopped.

y- yuck (what are somethings they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

he wouldn’t want someone who would always one up him or treat him like a baby. he also wouldn’t want someone who always did all the cooking and cleaning while he just did nothing. he’d probably cry if the work load wasn’t split evenly.

z- zzz (what is a sleep habit of theirs)

he’d take all the blankets. even in an aussie summer, he insists on sleeping with three blankets and you’ll always wake up at 3am with no blankets and again at 6am with him (and all the blankets) on top of you.

[kymiya]

geordi n cutie headcanons bc im trying to manifest their next audio

⋅ cutie can (and will) fuck up a seafood boil, i mean sauce all over their face and hands, broken crab shells everywhere, they dgaf 💀

⋅ geordi is a clean freak, and not in the way you’re thinking, he’s a clean freak because he literally cannot handle the thought of judgment. his anxiety is actually eating away at him when (or if) people come over

⋅ speaking of which, geordi actually doesn’t like inviting people over. well, he doesn’t really mind if people come over, but he would much rather go over to other people’s houses for his own comfort

⋅ cutie is also the same, but not for the same reason. cutie is the BIGGEST people watcher (and listener) and likes to sit back and observe how people react and move, not in a creepy way tho 😭just so they can get a gist of how they should respond and what to be mindful of

⋅ cutie HATESSS conflict, in any way. confrontation, fighting, awkward tension, hates it with a passion. which is a continuation of the last hc, they read peoples’ minds so much so they don’t have to ever deal with accidentally confusing or offending someone

⋅ geordi has the softest hands known to man, but they get sweaty easily, which is something he hates, i just KNOW this mf hates sweat. the feeling of it, skin on skin. which is one of the reasons he doesn’t like running

⋅ cutie and geordi have nights where they will binge one of their childhood shows, snuggled up in a weighted blanket (they both fall asleep within 15-20 mins 🫶🏾)

⋅ geordi’s personality gives off “mama’s boy” vibes but is actually closer with his dad, mostly because he n his mom held different viewpoints

⋅ geordi also has scars from his childhood from random times he was clumsy asf 💀he isn’t ever really insecure about it, but he’s never felt better about them until cutie started kissing each one and giving him compliments

⋅ cutie specifically gets lipstick only to cover geordi’s face in lipstick stains (like that one tiktok trend), but instead of posting it, they make it their home screen. geordi’s cute ass smile, lips n the rest of his face covered in red stains in the shape of cutie’s lips. UGHH i hate them

⋅ geordi gets lost in ikea very often

⋅ he also loves the kitchen sets and stays there for an abundance of time analyzing each parts (so real)

⋅ their first kiss as a couple was so awkward 😭geordi was trying to plan out how it would happen but after cutie kissed him on the lips without warning, he forgot how to function n just stood there. cutie literally heard his mind go blank, and it was like that for a couple of seconds. it was cute but actually so awkward for both of them (and geordi hates when cutie brings it up)

⋅ geordi had (and still has) lego sets as a kid and never let them go, nd he accidentally bring it up in a convo between them and now cutie helps build them with him

⋅ geordi’s body is naturally very warm, so when they cuddle in the spring/summer, they have to have thinner bed sheets n blankets so they both don’t wake up in sweat 💀

⋅ cutie does not want geordi meeting their family/parent(s), and not because they’re ashamed of geordi, because they never could be (who tf would??). but because they don’t have a good relationship with them

⋅ i feel like geordi moved a lot when he was younger, so he had trouble making friends n mostly stayed to himself, until he finally got to settle down in college nd met guy, which is still his bestfriend to this day

⋅ cutie had issues fitting in with others when they were younger, nd its a popular headcanon that they got their powers late (i think 😭), so when they started reading people's minds, they began to change in order to maintain friends

⋅ i genuinely can’t pick between if cutie and geordi would’ve meet in college/high school, but if they did, i feel like cutie probably changed their appearance A LOTT like they weren’t recognizable at first when geordi saw them at the park

⋅ geordi is CRAZYY good at math (i also don’t know if he’s a teacher or an accountant (in the recent audio)) (if he is a teacher, he’d be either a math or english teacher, ik it’s basic but 🤷🏾‍♀️)