#ik some of us are finding humor in the insult but like

[viciouslyrobotic]

Idk where ppl are getting off thinking "zippertits" is feminist praxis cause it's pretty well established that if someone wants to get surgery *for themselves* outside of pressure to conform to patriarchal (unattainable) beauty standards its their body, their choice, and shouldn't be shamed (nor should they be shamed in general regardless).

"Zippertits" How in your head do you have to be to forget breast cancer awareness or were you even in discussions about supporting people who remove their tits or have them removed and get implants later? Were you there for the discussions about how women are shamed for doing ANY alteration to their bodies no matter the reason and that we should support their choice to do so while not conflating personal choice with coercive abuse?

Yeah this particular insult's directed at ppl assumed female at birth (more specifically nonbinary ppl, trans mascs and trans men) and it's so fucking tone deaf? Its giving patriarchy. Its giving "you ruined your natural ~feminine~ body and need shamed for your transgression (which is a decision you made to live and/or to live comfortably)".

[leossmoonn]

One Hour

masterlist

pairing - tristan dugray x fem!reader

type - fluff, angst

note / request - “hi bestie 💕 could i get a soft tristian imagine where he's been bugging her. the reader finally agreed to go out with him and she ends up really liking him so they get together. i've been feeling soft and lonely 😔” such a classic idea! enjoy :)

summary - after some convincing, you finally so yes to a date with tristan

warnings / includes - mild language, food + eating, teasing, lil suggestive, crude humor, pet names, name calling, kissing, soft tristan. not edited

————

*gif isn’t mine* ik this is from one tree hill shhh

“hey, angel.”

tristan pulled a chair up next to me. i ignored him, putting my hand up to shield my eyes from him. i rested my head against my arm, continuing to work on my essay.

“awe, don’t ignore me now. i’m having a really bad day.”

i pretended that i didn’t hear him. i started on a new paragraph, looking at my prompt to find evidence of my claim. i started to cite my quote when he spoke again.

“c’mon, give me a witty remark. i’ll even take a glare.”

i finally turned to him, my brows knitted together and my eyes narrowed at him. he smiled at me, grinning from ear-to-ear.

“that’s my girl!” he exclaimed.

i rolled my eyes, sighing in annoyance and returning back to my homework.

“and now you’ve gone back to being a stick in the mud. great.”

“you know, you’re not going to get anywhere if you just sit here and annoy me. especially if you choose to insult me, too.” i finally spoke, my voice low with irritation.

“i’m not insulting you! i’m speaking the truth. why do you -”

“why do you have to be an asshole?” i shot back, my head snapping to him.

his mouth widened, his face filled with surprise. he was trying to figure out what to say, knowing that if he said anything else that made me mad, i would then punch him and get a restraining order against him. this was the game we played. he loved it, i hated it.

i decided to pack up my things while he was still thinking of what to say. i could just go to lane’s to study. no boys were ever allowed there, thanks to her mom, which i gratefully appreciated. it was the only place tristan couldn’t bother me.

i got up from my seat, pushing in my chair and walking out of the library. as i was about to step out of the doors, a hand grabbed mine. i was whipped around, coming face-to-face with tristan.

“jesus, what do you want?” i asked.

“you,” he grinned. i grimaced in disgust. “go and make out with louise or something. annoy paris or rory. they actually like the attention.”

“okay, one, i have never made out with louise, and i never will. two, i’m not interested in rory or paris. i’m -”

“you’re madly in love with me, yeah, yeah, i’ve heard it before. well, guess what? you’re not. you just like the chase.” i gave him a sickly sweet, sarcastic smile before turning on my heel and walking away.

i sighed in relief as he finally left me alone. i walked out of the school, going to my car and driving to lane’s. i parked outside of her house, letting myself in.

“hi, mrs. kim,” i smiled at her as i entered the house.

“hello, y/n. it’s nice to see you.” she said quickly.

“you, too,” i replied before going up the stairs and into lane’s room.

i opened the door, smiling as i saw lane dancing to music through her headphones, and rory on her bed, reading.

“finally!” rory exclaimed, throwing her book aside and coming up to hug me. “i was beginning to think you got in a car crash.”

i chuckled, hugging her back. “unfortunately, no. sorry, i got caught up writing my essay. and guess who was there to keep me in the library for longer?”

“oh, no,” rory scrunched her nose up in disgust.

“bingo,” i clicked my tongue. i sat down on lane’s bed, lane joining us.

“don’t pretend like you don’t like the attention,” lane remarked.

i scoffed, looking at her incredulously. “are you serious?”

“yep,” she nodded, her voice unwavering. i chuckled, shaking my head. “well, you’re wrong. i hate him and his attention. if anyone likes the attention, it’s rory.”

“what!” she squeaked. i smirked, “you like it when he calls you mary. don’t deny it.”

“i actually don’t,” she frowned. “i do like how dean asks about my books on the train, though,” she grinned.

“oh, yeah! has he asked you out yet?” lane asked.

“no. i don’t know if he will,” she said. “you know, you can ask him out,” i suggested.

rory chuckled, “i know, but i don’t know if i even like him like that.”

“you definitely do,” lane smirked. “and how do you know? are you cupid or something?” rory hummed.

“actually, i am.” lane got up, positioning her arms to look like she was holding a bow and arrow. rory and i giggled as she acted like she shot rory. “i now say you’re in love with dean!”

then she pointed her make believe arrow at me. “i now say you’re in love with tristan!”

i ducked down to dodge her arrow, glaring at her. “not cool.”

rory giggled, “it’s official, y/n. you’re in love with tristan now!”

“in his dreams,” i scoffed. “you’ll definitely be seeing him in your dreams tonight,” lane winked.

i grabbed her pillow, smacking her with it. she laughed, grabbing another one and hit me with it. i screamed, jumping off her bed.

we all had a pillow fight instead of studying. a better use of our time, if i do say so myself. i drove home and got ready for bed, only to hear rocks knocking on my window.

“oh, for pete’s sake,” i muttered, knowing who it was.

i peered out of my window, a not-so amused frown on my face as a saw a particular blonde trying to break my window. i slid the window up, sticking my head out.

“i’m going to bed! bother me in the morning!” i shouted. i then went to shut the door, but he started speaking.

“c’mon, angel! you know you like me,” he grinned.

i scoffed and leaned back, grabbing a book off of my bookshelf and then coming back to face him. “actually,” i threw the book, aiming it at his head, “i don’t.”

he caught it, looking down and smiling as he read the title. “romeo and juliet? how fitting.”

“not really, considering that i’m going to be alive after i run you over in my car tomorrow.” i gave him a sarcastic smile.

“wow, you’re really cranky when you’re tired, huh? it’s kinda hot.” he scrunched his nose.

heat rose up the back of my neck. i glared at him, grabbing another book off my shelf and aiming it at him. he put his hands up, beginning to plead for mercy.

“okay, okay! i would like to keep my two eyes. i’ll leave.”

i sighed, smiling, “thank god.”

“sleep well, angel,” he winked. he took romeo and juliet with him. i didn’t bother to call after him, i knew he would give it back to me sometimes during the week after he was done reading it. or after he was done trying to read it.

he was always trying to impress me. i’ll admit, at first, it was flattering. he would always look at the books i was annotating, trying to do some annotating of his own to show me how smart he was. he would play basketball when i walked by the park, pointing at me and making a shot. it was when he started talking to me when it got annoying.

he was so irritatingly persistent. my friends told me i should be happy, that he was chilton’s hottest. and while they weren’t wrong - he was attractive - he was just too full of himself. between him teasing me all the time and flirting with louise, i got sick of it and my hopes went down about him actually liking me.

i shut the window as i shook the thoughts of him out of my head. i trudged to my bed, turning off my lamp and snuggling under the covers.

i had trouble sleeping that night. i was tossing and turning. i was either too hot or too cold. my clothes tangled around my body, suffocating me. i woke up with a massive headache, sore throat, and stuffy nose. it seemed like my allergies had gotten the best of me.

but i didn’t have a fever, so i had to go to school. i said goodbye to my parents as i went out to my car, taking my time as i drove to school. i parked in my usual spot, yawning as i grabbed my backpack and trudged into school.

as i went in, i was immediately met my tristan’s booming voice.

“whoa, you look rough. didn’t sleep well?”

i looked at him, my face twisting in disbelief. “you’re a dick.”

i walked away, gripping my backpack and making my way up the stairs to my first class. tristan’s voice trailed behind me, getting closer and closer as the crowd of students slowed me down. he finally caught up to me once i began climbing up the stairs.

“hey, i didn’t mean that, i’m sorry. you just have circles under your eyes and you look like you’re in pain. i just want to know if you’re okay.”

i shook my head, brushing off his apology. i knew he didn’t actually mean it. he just hated when he didn’t get his way.

he sighed next to me, waiting until i was done walking up the stairs to pull me aside. his fingers wrapped around my wrist, making my heart jump out of my chest.

“hey,” he said, looking me in the eyes. “i really am sorry. i know that was rude of me to say. i just thought you’d play along.”

i frowned, “read the room next time and see if i’ll play along.”

i tried to push past him, but he held me back, pushing me up against the wall. goosebumps rose up neck as i felt his hot breath fan on my skin.

“i will. i just need you to know that i’m sorry.”

i looked into his eyes. they were shining with regret and guilt. i sighed, nodding my head.

“fine. you’re forgiven.”

“great,” he sighed in relief. “there was something i wanted to ask you.”

“what is it? i’m going to be late.”

“this’ll be quick if you say yes. i wanted to ask if you wanted to go to a movie with me tonight. we can make it a date. i’ll pay for everything and pick you up. you can wear whatever; pjs, a prom dress, i don’t care. just please say yes.”

my jaw dropped. i was completely shocked. “excuse me?” i scoffed.

his brows furrowed and he backed away slightly. “what?”

“you decide to insult me, then ask me out as if your apology changed something in me?” i asked.

“n-no, i just -”

“take a hike, dugray. i’m done with you.” i then pushed past him, speed-walking to my next class.

he didn’t follow me like he usually would. i felt disappointment pit in my stomach, but i ignored it. that’s what i wanted all along, right?

the day went by painfully slow. every time i checked the time, only fifteen seconds had passed. i was so happy when the last bell rang, signaling that the school day was over. i was excited to get back home and take a five hour nap.

as i walked back to my car, i saw tristan leaning back on the hood. and just like that, all my happiness disappeared.

i walked to my car slowly, trying to wait out the time so he would get bored and leave, but of course, he saw me and stayed.

“what do you want now? i’m tired and i’d like to go home and take a nap,” i said.

“why don’t you come to the movies with me tonight and i’ll get you some ice cream?” he asked.

“oh, this again?” i groaned. “how about no.”

he frowned, standing up. “please, y/n. you won’t regret it, i swear.”

“i think i can decide for myself, thanks. and i’m saying no. so, please, if you respect me just a little bit, go away and let me go home. it’s been a long day and i don’t feel like arguing.”

he stared at me for a few second, his lips coming into a pout. he sighed and nodded, walking away from my car. “fine. have a good nap.”

i took out my keys, smiling genuinely. “thank you. see you monday.”

he waved at me before turning around and walking away. i drove home quickly, throwing my back on the couch and running up the stairs. i took off my blazer and skirt, flopping on my bed in just my button-up shirt and socks. i fell asleep immediately, only to be woken up hours later by a knock on my door.

i opened my eyes slowly, turning my head and seeing that the sun was setting.

“holy crap.” i muttered as i realized i had been asleep for six hours.

“hey, sweetie. you finally up?” my mom came in my room.

i sat up on my elbows, turning my head to her. “oh, hey. yeah, sorry, i was really tired.”

“no worries. i took a nap, too,” she chuckled.

“nice. well, what’s up? do you need help with dinner?” i asked.

“no, actually. your father and i ordered mcdonald’s. there’s some chicken nuggets and fries for you downstairs.”

“oh, awesome,” i grinned. “thanks.” i jumped out of bed, stretching before grabbing a pair of sweats.

“but i don’t think you’ll want to eat it,” she added on. i frowned and turned to her as i slipped on my sweats. “why?” i asked.

“there’s a boy here to see you. he seems very anxious to get you to go out with him. he has hamburgers, popcorn, soda, and candy.”

“oh, that’s tristan. i’m sorry about him, i told him no countless times.”

“it’s no problem. he’s really nice and polite, he’s downstairs talking to your dad right now. he’s cute, too. you sure you don’t want to hang out?” she asked.

i chuckled and shook my head. i went over to my closet, grabbing a t-shirt and changing into it as i answered her. “i’m sure. he’s been bugging me since rory and i transferred. i’m so done with him.”

“well, i think you should give it a try. he seems to really like you.”

i frowned, “you know i don’t like him. i complain about all the time, i -”

“it’s because you like him, y/n,” my mom said.

i opened my mouth to speak, but she continued speaking.

“just give him an hour. if you really don’t like him, then fine, you don’t ever have to go out with him again. but i can tell you like him. you’re going to regret not giving him a chance.”

i sighed, knowing she wouldn’t stop convincing me until i said yes.

“fine. just one hour,” i said.

“sounds good. are you going to change?” she asked.

“no. if he doesn’t like my outfit, then he can go and screw off,” i said.

my mom chuckled, “i guess that’s true. alright, well, i’ll be in my room if you need me. call us if anything goes wrong.”

i nodded, “i will. see you in an hour.”

she smiled, “see you in an hour.” she then left and closed my door.

i looked in my mirror, eyeing my clothes. i was wearing black sweats and a green t-shirt that had a name of a summer camp on it that i went to a few years ago. i looked at my closet, contemplating if i should change or not. i decided against it. tristan said it himself: i could wear whatever. if he didn’t like it, then my suspicions about him not really liking me would be right.

i walked downstairs, seeing tristan and my dad talking by the door. my mom was right. he had a bunch of food in his hands.

his head turned to me, his jaw dropping and his eyes widening. i rolled my eyes, putting an annoyed look on my face, but my whole body got warm and my heart started to race. i kept up my front, though.

“you’re gonna catch flies,” i remarked.

“y/n, be nice,” my dad frowned.

tristan just chuckled, turning back to my dad. “no worries, chris. i’ve grown fond of her attitude.”

“that makes one of us,” my dad smirked.

i scoffed, “sorry, chris. i got my attitude from you, though.”

“more like you got it from your mother, but don’t tell i said that. you two kids have fun. be back by eleven.”

tristan nodded, “of course.”

“i’ll be back in an hour,” i said. “alright. have fun, then,” dad smiled.

i smiled back, kissing him on the cheek. “thanks. see you later.”

i slipped on sandals that were next to the front door, going outside. tristan and my dad exchanged a hand shake before trisfan followed me outside.

“since when are you on first name basis with my dad? didn’t you just meet him?” i asked.

“yes, but parents like me. i’m charming,” he shrugged.

“yeah, sure,” i snorted. “anyways, where are we going to go?”

“there’s a movie showing at the park. i’ll drive you there,” he said.

“okay, but we’re only staying an hour. it’ll give you enough time to realize you need to stop bothering me.”

“alrighty, sounds good,” tristan grinned.

we walked to his car, tristan putting all the food in the backseat. i got in the passenger seat, buckling up and waiting for him to get in. we drove in awkward silence to the park.

i never thought he could be this quiet for so long. i never realize how weird it would feel. i didn’t like it one bit.

“so, um, what movie is playing?” i tried to make conversation.

“you’ll see,” he grinned. i frowned, “why can’t you just tell me?”

“it’s a surprise. we’ll be there in literally a minute. you can wait.”

“fine,” i grumbled.

he was right, we did arrive in one minute. he parked in the parking lot and we got out. i made my way to the park, confused as to why nobody was here.

“are we the only two here?” i asked him. “yep. i said it would just be the two of us, right?” he replied.

“i guess,” i nodded.

he put a blanket down and the food. he instructed me to take a seat and i did so, watching him walk to where the projector was. he started the movie, running back and joining me on the ground.

as the introduction started, i couldn’t help but smile.

“romeo and juliet, huh?”

“yep. i know it’s your favorite book and movie,” he said. “how do you know that?” i asked.

“i overheard you saying it to paris,” he explained.

“oh,” i said, “well… that is nice. thanks for renting it.”

“no problem. and i bought it. i thought that when we started to date, you’d probably want to watch it a lot.”

“whoa, slow your horses. i never committed to anything.”

“not yet,” he winked. “great,” i muttered, turning to the movie.

“want some food?” he asked. “yeah, sure,” i answered.

he gave me a hamburger and soda, and set out the popcorn and candy.

“whatever you want is yours,” he said.

“thanks.” i gave him a brief smile as he gave me the food. he returned the smile, turning back to the movie.

we watched thirty minutes of the movie before tristan spoke again.

“how many times have you watched the movie?” he asked.

“um, not too many, actually. this is my like, fifth time,” i answered.

“fives times is a lot.”

“it’s a lot less than thirty times. which is, by the way, the number of times rory has seen casablanca.”

he chuckled, “yeah, i heard her say that, too.”

“oh, so you pay attention to her, too? i thought i was special,” i remarked sarcastically.

he turned to me, a deep frown on his face. “no, i just happened to hear her say that while i was listening to you. and i thought you didn’t like the attention.”

i looked away and at the bowl of popcorn. i shrugged, trying to play cool.

“i don’t. i was just making a joke.”

he chortled, “yeah, right. you keep telling yourself that.”

i turned to him and glared. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“nothing,” he shrugged.

i didn’t say anything else. i looked back at the movie, holding myself up on my elbows.

“do you want a pillow?” he asked. “no, i’m okay,” i shook my head.

i yawned, laying down completely, putting my arm under my head for support.

“are you sure? i have a blanket and pillow in my trunk,” he insisted.

i looked at him, body shivering as he was already looking at me.

“you’re cold. i’m getting a blanket. here, take this for the time being.” he stood up and took off his sweatshirt, his undershirt riding up so i saw his lower stomach.

i gulped as i saw a his happy trail trail down below his jeans that were hanging dangerously low. i could see his v-line that was greatly defined. it definitely didn’t leave much to the imagination.

he smirked at me as he threw his sweatshirt to me. “you’re catching flies, angel.”

i clamped my mouth shut immediately, my face heating up as he ran to his car. i sat up, mocking him quietly as i put on his sweatshirt.

“you’re catching flies, angel. whatever. i’ll make him catch flies.”

he came back, setting the pillow behind me and putting the blanket on top of me.

“thanks,” i said.

“no problem,” he grinned. i cocked my brow. “what’s that face for?”

“you look great in my sweatshirt.”

i rolled my eyes. “i knew you’d say that.”

he didn’t say anything else. he sat down next to me, taking a few pieces of m&ms and dropping them in his mouth. i sighed quietly and turned my attention back to the movie. i laid down on the pillow and snuggled into the blanket.

the collar of the sweatshirt sat right under my nose. i inhaled deeply, his scent filling my nose. i couldn’t help but smell it again. it made my head dizzy.

“do you have a cold?” he asked.

i pulled his sweatshirt down, shaking my head. “no. my nose has just been really runny today.”

“oh, sorry to hear that.”

i shrugged, “it’s alright. allergies, you know.”

“understandable,” he said. “yeah,” i sighed.

“have i told you that you look really beautiful tonight?”

my head snapped up at him. he was staring at me already, his eyes wide and reflecting the moon.

“n-no,” i stuttered. he smiled, “well, you do.”

“thanks.” i looked away to the screen, avoiding any and all eye contact.

he shuffled next to me and in the corner of my eyes i saw him lay down next to me.

“it’s nearing an hour. should i take you home?” he asked.

“wow,” i chuckled, “you are letting me leave?” i turned to face him, my breath stopping as i realized how close we were.

“i don’t want you to hate me,” he explained.

my eyes went down to his lips. they were shining with butter from the popcorn. they looked so soft and kissable.

“do you actually hate me?” he asked.

my eyes snapped up back to his. “no,” i shook my head slowly.

“really?” his eyes lit up with joy. “yeah. you can just be a little annoying sometimes,” i said.

he chuckled, scooting closer to me. our nose bumped together and i couldn’t help but smile.

“have you ever kissed anyone?” he whispered.

my eyes widened. my heart stopped as i could tell where this was going. i didn’t dare interrupt the moment.

“yeah, but it was in middle school and it wasn’t very good.”

“wanna make your first kiss up, then?” he asked slowly, his eyes going down to my lips slowly.

butterflies shot down in my stomach and i started to feel giddy.

“yes,” i whispered.

and with that, he set his lips onto mine. the kiss was a lot more gentle than i thought it would be. he kissed me tenderly; with care. his hand came up to my face and cupped my cheek, his thumb rubbing back and forth on my skin.

my hands reached up to his hair, my fingers burying themselves into his golden locks. his other hand set itself on the small of my back, high enough to where it was polite, but low enough for heat to grow between my thighs.

i pushed my body up against his, our legs tangling together. his tongue ran across my bottom lip and i opened my mouth immediately. i never realized how much i wanted this.

our tongues met tentatively at first. we were feeling each other out, and i loved it. my fingers pulled on the back of his head, a husky moan leaving his throat. i pushed my chest up against his in response, my tongue running up against his, too.

his hand slipped under my shirts. his fingers were surprisingly cold and it made me jolt up against him. his fingertips skimmed the curve of my lower back, a moan of my own sounding.

“tris,” i breathed out.

he pulled away, his eyes shining with concern. “did i do something wrong? i’m sorry, i was trying to read the room, and i thought you’d like it. i -”

i crashed my lips onto his, taking his hand and placing it where it was. he smiled into the kiss, his fingers tip-toeing up my back.

i pulled away, smiling at him. “you didn’t do anything wrong. it was really nice. you’re a great kisser.”

“why, thank you. you’re a magnificent kisser.”

i giggled, setting my hand on his chest and fisting his shirt.

“i thought you said you didn’t like me,” he smirked.

i grimaced, pushing him away. “what a way to ruin the moment.”

he laughed, “you know me.”

“yeah, i do,” i smiled. “it’s past an hour,” he said.

“oh, damn. looks like i went past my limit,” i sighed.

“well, it’s getting late anyways. want me to take me home?” he asked.

“nah, we can finish the movie,” i shook my head. “great,” he grinned.

he laid back down in his back. i scooted closer to him and put my head on his chest. after a few moments, i looked up at him and spoke again.

“prom is coming up. you have a date?” i asked.

“hm, no. i don’t believe i do. why do you ask?” he grinned.

“oh, i’m not asking you anything,” i snorted, turning back to the movie.

he chuckled, his chest moving up and down under my head.

“would you like to accompany me to prom?” he asked.

i smiled and looked up at him, nodding. “i would love to.”

“great. along with that, would you like to be my girlfriend?” he asked. 

“will you kiss me in front of louise and paris then?” i hummed. “oh, absolutely. count on it monday,” he smirked. 

“oh, i will,” i giggled.

he leaned up and pressed a kiss to my lips, intertwining our hands in the process. he pulled away after a few moments, laying back down on the pillow. i sighed contently and laid back down on his chest, turning my attention back to the movie. 

one hour definitely wasn't enough. 

————

the ending sentence bye 

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@myalupinblack​ @lukes-orange-beanie​ @sebsbrokentoe​

[botslayer]

Top Ten games of the 2010′s

This trend seems to be doing the rounds at the moment and seeing as I’ve been gaming for about as long as I can remember, It just feels right. So, let’s get into it. But first, worth saying: These aren't really in any specific order, it's just the games I've personally had the most fun with overall, but it's pretty hard to decide what the hard numbers on things you enjoy for different reasons are if that makes any sense. 10. The 2010's weren't exactly the best time for anyone, I think. For me they were a slog of finding myself and learning things I wish I didn't. Amid all those things I wanted some levity. The world needs something and stupid. We got a lot of it ion 2013 but I feel like we could have used it scattered around a bit more. In that spirit, allow me to show you one hell of a pick me up:

Saints Row 4

Saints Row 4 does not give a fuck. It is aggressively demonstrating that the entire time you play. It doesn't care in the slightest what you think or why, It just wants to show you cool, if juvenile, and interesting, if weird shit. It's the finer points of Ratchet and Clank's arsenal, SR3's humor, And superpowers that genuinely put Prototype and Infamous in a blender and tell you to go ape shit with them. The soundtrack isn't top shelf, it's the roof of the building the shelf is in. Saints Row Two had a better story overall but SR Four's was just plain fun and a solid enough story to still be invested.

The DLC was just as irreverent and madcap, Featuring everything from an evil Santa Clause to evil Gimps on Game of thrones chairs made of dildos Or Tropey-ass costumes and weapon reskins that I'd be genuinely surprised the game dev didn't get sued over. It has earned its place in my top 10 and I will die by that decision.

9.

2016 saw the advent of a new genre. They blended TF2 and MOBAs, and we got hero shooters in their first AAA forms, Overwatch and Battleborn. But neither of these games is on this list, much as I liked them. Partly because the whole time, I kept thinking of one simple question: "Why do I keep thinking of...?"

Anarchy Reigns

Anarchy Reigns is my favorite Platinum game. Full Stop. The Story mode is interesting and has genuinely good character moments, the characters themselves are completely mental, ranging from a mercenary with a bionic cat leg that secretly has a gun built into it to a giant cyborg bull-man with a jet-powered hammer. The soundtrack is mostly angry hip-hop, making every song a banger and fittingly speedy for things like random bombing runs from jet fighters that come from absolutely nowhere.

There are giant monsters, cars with mounted flame throwers, giant robots, and the online is still pretty sweet because even when abandoned, loading it up with bots still rules. I regularly have more fun with this than I ever did with Overwatch, and I don't care how insane that sounds.

8.

Some games want to make you feel something and fail. Some games make you feel some things accidentally, for example, a desperate need to laugh. This game made me feel like a human blender. Like a Chthonic god of mangled flesh and raw destructive power. Nyarlathotep ain't got nothing on me. I speak, of course, of...

[Prototype] 2

There's no end to the absolute destruction you feel like you're causing in this game. It feels more fluid than the first, the main character is a pinch more relatable, and all the body horror, superpowers, zombie hordes, and big old monsters make for some of the most memorable and fun moments and fights in gaming. The DLC is also pretty solid, adding new fun side challenges, and new powers and weapons that elevate you from "Flesh god" to "Screw physics, I made them" Omnipotent. Best god/monster simulation of all time.

7.

Sometimes some games are at an honest tie in your mind. Be it that you like them for essentially the same reasons, or for completely different reasons, but the overall total joy or entertainment they bring is roughly equivalent. Here, we have a case of the former:

Furi/Cuphead

Both games have a tight focus on giving players a unique, boss-centric challenge, both have interesting, somewhat minimal narratives, and both are absolute eye candy.

Furi has a more "Samurai Jack" Quality to me. A complete badass on a relatively simple quest with a somewhat minimalistic art style learning some things as he goes.

Cuphead on the other hand, nails that rubber hose animation style, and the fun levity of such animations while still making the player's ability to interact with the world damn impactful and fun.

They share a spot in my soul, games I love everything about but will never be able to finish. Hats off to both dev teams.

6.

Now here we have another tie. Mostly because the games are so close together, they need to be evaluated more or less as one product IMO, not enough changed for me to consider them separate games, fortunately, that is the furthest thing from an insult it can be in this situation. I present to you, my next pick(s).

Costume Quest 1/2

Now, This might seem pretty random considering my other picks, but honestly, I love Halloween, I love creative madness, I love subversion, I love good characters, and I love cool action, these games have all these things by the bucketload.

The first game is a wild ride through Halloween in multiple very lively locations and the second, slightly confusing as it is, is pretty awesome for the things it introduces, including time travel. Other elements, like the battle stamps, the truly epic forms of everything in the fights, The ability to customize your costumes, etc. they blur together in a pretty big way, but again, there's not a thing wrong with that when both games rock like crystal candy. 

5.

Now, if you hadn't noticed, all of the games on this list have had some hard action at their core, and while I don't HATE calmer games, a lot of the time, so many are kinda dull to me in that with the exception of easter eggs of some sort, most farming sims, for example, just have you doing normal farm stuff with very few twists, may as well start a real farm in that case. My most chill entry is a game that tosses that to one side, asks you to grab a suck cannon, and start harvesting gelatinous monster poop.

Slime Rancher

While you don't spend a lot of time actually interacting with other characters, they just talk at you, the story of the game is pretty effective, the player character of Beatrix has left Earth for a simpler life of Slime Ranching, which entails the raising of alien crops, delightfully derpy and colorful chickens, and going all around in an attempt to farm new breeds of slime for their genetic material to sell off or trade-in for the creation of gadgets while being surrounded by a cast of interesting characters. It's all very wholesome family fun.

The game looks great, has great ideas, and is genuinely the best farming game I have ever played. @ me all you want.

4.

The 80's are almost fetishized nowadays. Given all the property reboots, games that go for the vibe and aesthetic of the time, etc. It almost seems as though the eighties vibe train ain't gonna stop rolling any time soon. But we owe it to ourselves to remember the first big swipe of madcap neon-colored actiony B-movie bullshit and how mind-meltingly epic it was. Ladies, Gents, and whatever else, I present:

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Blood Dragon's story is relatively simple, you play Sargent Rex "Power" Colt (A name said in full so many times I thought his last name was "Powercolt" for the longest time), a former "Omega force" cyborg. Rex and his friend "Spider" were sent into a secret island base to investigate the supposed defection and treachery of their old commander, Ike Sloan. It turns out he has gone rogue and taken an army of "Mark 5" Omegaforce cyber-soldiers with him. What follows is a long story of betrayal, science fiction of the highest nonsensical level, comedy, and brilliantly cathartic action.

The collectibles range from data on animals, to research notes from a scientist, to literal VHS cassette tapes that have full descriptions of movies that I would legitimately watch if I could. "You may now kill the brides" is not a real film and I am angry for every day that that is true. Anyway, play Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, I dunno if it's on PS4 but it's one game I'd buy a new/old console for.

3.

A lot of superhero games NEED to railroad you. Your goals MUST be to save the lives of the people and help the weak and all that. But one dev asked the simple question: "What if it didn't?" "What if the player chose how to use their power? What if the player could be as evil or as good as they damn well pleased?" One game gave you the powers of thunder and lightning and asked what you'd do with it. It's sequel asked you the same, but against more... interesting forces.

InFamous 2

InFamous 2 is a game about making choices, just like the first one, also just like the first one, it can have an effect on gameplay. That effect went from "What does this particular power do in this allignment?" To "Which new set of NEW powers would you like?" The forces of the last game went from “Three flavors of gun-toting whackos” To “Possibly an allegory for the Klan, Swamp monsters, and Ice-powered super soldiers.”

This was, and still is, the best game in the whole series, The powers felt distinct from anything else and still do, the story is solid as a rock, and the enemy types were still varied enough to be interesting, I miss the Reapers from the first game, but that's about it. Everything else was a massive step up. If you have something that can run it, play it.

2.

Action is something I think we can all appreciate on some level. We can understand when it does or does not work, we can understand when we do or do not like how it feels when we are the ones partaking in it. EX: Any schlep can tell you when the weapons in your game lack impact, or when your character moves too slow for the game to be fun. The following game is something I can't say anything of the sort about. And it's kind of like Wolfenstein, when you have enemies this bad, who the hell cares how many you kill?

Doom 2016

Y'all are lying if you say you didn't expect this one. It's DOOM 2016. This game is made of hate and fuck. AND I LOVE IT. You move so fast, you may as well be half cheetah and half sports car. You slaughter the dregs of hell by the dozens and even the biggest, baddest things this game throws at you can be beaten with the starting pistol if you have the stones for it. It looks amazing graphically, the demons all look appropriately threatening, and even the Multiplayer is a great deal of fun in my book.

Something worth noting: The story presented by default is pretty barebones, but that's where supplementary material fills in the gaps, the difference between supplementary material in most games and supplementary material here is the material is till IN THE GAME. You're free to ignore most of the plot as it happens around you, and even interesting tidbits of the lore like how certain demons function. Not only are these things missable collectibles, prompting continued play to find them, they are also pretty interesting reads. So yeah, just about everything you could want in a sequel/remake, builds the on lore and gameplay very organically. 

1.

And here we are, the last game I'd put in this category. An entire decade, and here, we end on the last game that left such an impact I'd put it in my top ten. But first, let's talk about expectations and delivery: When you say a game is coming out, there are certain expectations you have for gameplay, EX: I say "Ratchet and Clank" and you expect a TPS with platforming elements and crazy guns. I say "Gears of War" and people expect something to do with lumbering about in big armor, dismembering things with a chainsaw gun and otherwise shooting them to paste. We might also expect changes to things, better graphics, innovations in grenade variety, something as that franchise goes on.

After the last game in this series was released, there were tons of people who felt let down and disappointed by it. Then they released the still somewhat disappointing special edition of it. They were both still fun, but neither really felt like the full next step in the series. After a failed reboot, they returned to the original story and the lot of us rejoiced. And when it finally came out? It was a step up in most, if not, all regards, to its predecessors. You know what this last one is. Please, give a warm round of applause to:

Devil May Cry 5

A game that was not only a return to form, but a major escalation in gameplay for one character, and a new style of gameplay all together by way of yet another new character. It didn’t exactly hurt that the story kicked ten kinds of ass and that the game looked spectacular in both the design of everything and the actual graphical fidelity.DMC 5 is, like DOOM, Like InFamous 2, Like [PROTOTYPE] 2, everything you want in a good sequel. It built very well on already solid foundations and it was generally just a fun, slightly goofy, massively stylish, and ultra badass ride. I recommend this, and all these games, to anyone.Good night everyone, have a great 2020. And the rest of the decade, for that matter. 

[four-loose-screws]

Calill / Shinon C-A Support (PoR Lost Support #4)

Every time I write a support conversation, I have a prompt - a couple of questions - that I use to get the ideas flowing. My first question is “What new thing(s) can we learn about at least one of the characters through this interaction?” Then, I get to thinking. But for Shinon and Calill, I was totally stuck. However, I did find inspiration in my second question. “What do they have in common to kick off a friendship with?” And that’s where I started for these two. They actually have a lot in common, leaving rude impressions on people, but then revealing softness and kindness when someone manages to get them to open up.

I think it’s the least original of all the 35 support chains I’ve written for FE so far. Shinon and Calill’s secret soft spot for children is discussed elsewhere in the games, and the support set pretty much ends up exactly like Shinon and Janaff’s supports.

But I still think I totally succeeded with this one. To see them really get along, after clashing so much at first, is very heartwarming.

That, and any conversation with Shinon involved is wildly entertaining to me. I was so upset when I had finished both of his conversations. I could never write enough of him!

Enjoy!

Shinon / Calill C Support

Shinon: Out of the way, woman!

Calill: Ah!

Shinon: …Dead. Wow, the Daein spies are getting just plain boring. Have I really killed all the good ones already?

Calill: Amazing shot, good sir Shinon! I hadn’t even seen that enemy over there, and you’ve killed him with one arrow! What skill you have!

Shinon: Yeah. And that’s why I’m the sniper and you’re not.

Calill: What did you say?! Ooh, to think that I was polite despite the warnings about you!

Shinon: Yeah, you were awful stupid to ignore them.

Calill: I can’t believe I was asked to work with you! Is this how that grumpy little tactician thanks my stellar contributions to this army?!

Shinon: You’re on guard duty too? Great… Here’s the deal. You stay on your side, I’ll stay on my side, and we’ll both have a great night. See ya.

Calill: What?! I can’t believe that there are people in this world who would stand up a woman like me!

Shinon: Truly one of the greatest tragedies of our time. Goodbye.

Calill / Shinon B Support

Shinon: Hey.

Calill: Ah! An enemy!

Shinon: Foolish mage woman! Get that tome out of my face! It’s me!

Calill: As if I would realize that! You haven’t talked to me since the first day we were put on guard duty together!

Shinon: And I quite like it that way.

Calill: Then why are you here now?

Shinon: I saw you training that desert kid.

Calill: And what of it?

Shinon: What’s some hoity-toity lady like you training an uncivilized kid for?

Calill: He’s an obnoxious kid, but no matter how much I loathe his presence, I’d be shunned by magic wielders everywhere if I didn’t do all I could to stop him from potentially striking a deal with the spirits. But that’s all, so what are you questioning me for?

Shinon: Hmph. Stop smiling, then. It might actually make me believe you hate caring for him.

Calill: I have no tolerance for your insults against me. Now, will you leave my side of camp?

Shinon: Perhaps you aren’t as bad as I thought… But if that’s how you want to be, then I’ll happily leave.

Calill: …Why does he even care what I think about a child…? What’s he thinking…? Shinon, wait up! ……Gone already. Maybe next time…

Shinon / Calill A Support

Calill: Shinon, why do you insist on keeping up such a cruel front?

Shinon: …Hey, where’s my polite greeting, fancy lady?

Calill: Hmph! Any attempts to be proper are lost on a brute like you!

Shinon: Sure are. I don’t have time any time for your nonsense. I’m off.

Calill: Wait! I just wanted to say… I saw you playing with Rolf and Mist the other day.

Shinon: …They had wandered off while playing and ended up outside the campgrounds. I was escorting them back as Ike had ordered.

Calill: You were sitting with them in the woods.

Shinon: They’re kids. Once they realized I was there, they insisted I play with them and it’s impossible to say no when they won’t stop pestering you until they’ve passed out from exhaustion.

Calill: You were smiling. Sure, it was a small one, but there’s no mistaking it.

Shinon: You can imagine anything if you want it to be there.

Calill: C’mon, you have to be honest at some point! I SAW you with them!

Shinon: So what are you going to do about your little discovery? Prance around telling everyone about how soft I actually am?

Calill: No… I saw for the first time that there might be more to you than a sharp tongue, and thought maybe I had found someone like me.

Shinon: Me? Similar to you? Your humor is lacking.

Calill: I’m from the countryside of Crimea. After a drought, our farm was no longer sustainable. With a need to support my aging parents, I moved to the city. Everyone loved having me around… so they could put down the country hick and feel good about themselves. The only way to avoid it was to join their game and appear to be one of them, becoming prim, proper, and harsh to those who didn’t fit the mold. But you must have gone through something even more difficult than I, right?

Shinon: Hmph. You expect me to share a sob story? …Alright, here goes. Can’t trust people. The end.

Calill: I’ll consider myself lucky that I even got you to say that much. …I don’t think people like you and I can ever become proper friends. There is too little trust left in us. But… I would like to hear about some of the games you play with Rolf and Mist. Whatever game you were playing in the woods looked really fun. I bet Tormod would love it.

Shinon: Not really interested.

Calill: …I’m not finished yet! I’m no fool. I know these kinds of requests must involve offering you free food and ale.

Shinon: …So you can speak my language after all, mage woman. Alright, it’s a deal.