#ik im not obligated to post but still

[employee052]

sorry if im inactive recently yall, been in a weird state atm but im working n drawing and potentially reading house of leaves soon so ill be doin stuff, ill just be inactive bc im off getting distracted :P

[havocskies]

bro pls pls pls pls 🙏 do an NSFW alphabet with hobie ill do anything?!!!

HOBIE BROWN | NSFW ALPHABET

i am losing my self respect day by day.

anyway im also sorry for not posting ive been flirting w this dude for the past few days he is so cute but that will not stop me from writing for yg xoxo

╭──╯ . . . . . ༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶ . . . . . ╰──╮

A = AFTERCARE

- hobie is an absolute GOD at aftercare n i wholeheartedly believe this. especially when he knows he can be a bit much at times, there’s never a time where he skips out on aftercare. i think he would like to just relax, cuddle, and talk for a bit after he cleans you up thoroughly. then probably get a little treat, but he always likes to make sure you actually had fun as well. he’d put all of his attention on you way before he started worrying about himself, you’re always his priority

B = BODY PART

- i think hobie doesn’t have a MAJOR preference for anything but he seems like a thigh kinda guy. doesn’t matter the gender or size, he’s a thigh enthusiast. not always in a nasty way, he also just thinks they’re comfortable and whatnot. wear anything that shows your thighs and he is all for it 🙌

C = CUM

- im sure hobie keeps up w his health and cares for it, so i don’t think he’d taste horrible. he’s considerate guys 😭 idk if he’d really have a preference for where he cums either. probably asks beforehand or just knows what you prefer but if you’ll let him he’ll switch it up for funsies

D = DIRTY SECRET

- hobie doesn’t really keep secrets much, and i don’t think he’d be doing anything vile enough to really have to keep secrets anyway 😭 he’s just a normal dude imo but thoughts wise ?? he’s definitely imagined some things he’s too scared to talk abt im sure (take that how u will)

E = EXPERIENCE

- im sorry ik yg see him as like a sex god manwhore but i cant see it 😞 he’s spiderman he’s a nerd and he’s goofy, like yes he’s hot but he definitely fumbles without knowing the opportunity was even there LMAOO but regardless i think his body count is VERY low if not even zero. that doesn’t mean he’s ignorant, though. he’s figured out enough to know what he’s doing and what to do, he’s considerate and never wants his partner to be left out of thought

F = FAVORITE POSITION

- i can’t really see him having a favorite position i think he would’ve had little to no opinions but the moment yg find one you specifically like a lot he LOVES it. loves anything that makes you react the most, he’s such a pleaser yg cannot convince me of anything different

G = GOOFY

- yg write him to be all serious n i dont like it 🙁 he’s hobie he’s gonna crack a few jokes, especially if he’s nervous or he sees you’re nervous and he wants you to relax. probably jokes about how he’ll try his best not to send you to the hospital or wtv (he is not that confident)

H = HAIR

- hobie probably isn’t always clean shaven so he believes you don’t have to be either. still he’d at least be trimmed just to make things easier and whatnot. just his preference, whatever you do w yours he could not care less. other than that i think if sony was allowed he’d have a happy trail but unfortunately sony are pussies (im kidding)

I = INTIMACY

- i think hobie would prefer intimacy over anything else. he’d see sex as less of a pleasure thing and more of something to be shared when you’re extremely close. i don’t think sex w him would ever be meaningless, he’s always trying to show how much he loves you

J = JACK OFF

- hobie’s probably just an average dude. doesn’t do it too much bc like ?? why would he when he has you. ofc, if you’re not up to it yea he’ll go somewhere or just deal with it, you’re never obligated in his eyes. i just think he’d prefer you over anything else

K = KINK

- he’s gotta be a little freaky. like i say a lot (im sorry) he does joke abt biting, so he probably has some small kinks but i doubt anything serious. maybe at the most a very minor corruption kink, but its only about introducing you to things if you’re entirely willing. something about knowing he’s the one introducing you to it makes him wanna do it more

L = LOCATION

- hobie doesn’t strike me as a very public kinda guy. like maybe on occasion, but it’d have to be somewhere he’s pretty sure yg won’t get caught. i do think he’d prefer in your or his own home though, makes it more intimate and less stressful. he would however joke about fucking near someone yg don’t like out of spite

M = MOTIVATION

- you’d probably have to be actively trying to get him going, sex is never really the first thing on his mind. ofc it can very well happen unintentionally. i think gestures, positions, anything that shows off something ALONG WITH the clear intent will make him realize. maybe. i still wholeheartedly believe he’s pretty oblivious most of the time, he can be wanting it but he won’t realize you’re trying to make him want it. he’s a little dumb bear with him. he also just doesn’t associate revealing clothing with you wanting sex, so you’ll have to find other ways to get him to realize you want him. anyway i think mostly anything that shows off your thighs will get his mind wandering. anything that shows off their shape or just shows them off in general

N = NO

- in no way ever will you get this dude to do cnc (consensual nonconsensual) he gets sometimes its a trauma response but yg also have to remember he’d have to be getting off by pretending to assault you and i just can’t see it. he couldn’t do it, he’d rather try and help you with that trauma in other ways

O = ORAL

- happy to give always 🙌 he sees it as no different than you giving. even so, i don’t think he’d ever ask you for head. he’d see it more as a bonus, not something that’s expected in a relationship. if you’re never comfortable giving or even receiving head he will not be losing sleep whatsoever

P = PACE

- probably likes to switch it up. while i do think most of the stuff he said in his intro were jokes (runway model, inconsistency, labels, etc) i do think he does like to switch things up. he doesn’t like being limited to one thing, he likes to explore a bit and keep you on your toes xoxo

Q = QUICKIE

- hobie doesn’t strike me as someone who cares much for quickies. he’d much rather take his time, show he actually loves you. if both of yg are REALLY struggling then yg are going home, end of story. if you were to suggest a quickie he’d be unsure but he’d be willing to try at least

R = RISK

- hobie’s big risk taker im sure, but sex is a lot different than everything else. it’s a lot deeper and meaningful, so he doesn’t want to risk upsetting you or causing problems. idk if he’d even wanna risk being caught bc that’s just an inconvenience to everyone else 🙁🙁 only if it’s inconveniencing someone neither of you like i suppose

S = STAMINA

- pretty good stamina. not crazy or anything, but he can definitely go for a while. i think he finishes fairly average time but he can go multiple rounds, yk ?? like i said not a sex god guys

T = TOYS

- im sure hobie isn’t against toys at all ☠️ kinda goes back to what i said w introducing you to things. he’ll definitely try anything (as long as it’s humane 😭) and really doesn’t have much shame. take that part how u will.

U = UNFAIR

- hobie definitely likes to tease, no doubt. not all the time ofc but he can be an asshole just for jokes. if you’re genuinely upset he’ll stop. plus i think edging and overstimulating would count as something that deserves to have a conversation over first, not everyone’s completely into that and he knows full well

V = VOLUME

- i don’t think he’d be loud. not a whimperer probably but definitely a groan kinda guy. he has no shame breathing and groaning in your ear if he’s really goin (with you ofc he is)

W = WILD CARD

- switch. i think by default he’s more dom leaning but if you take that position he won’t complain, he thinks it’s hot as hell. would probably let you do almost anything to him 😇

X = X-RAY

- he’s pretty tall guys, it’s not small that’s for sure. i think honestly he’d be around 6-8, anything above is just scary in my full opinion so that’s not what he has ummm. i do think he’d be pretty normal girth. and, ofc, if he is pierced he would’ve done it himself. a stranger handling and piercing your dick is not for the weak im sure

Y = YEARNING

- probably a pretty normal/average drive. he didn’t think much about sex before you so going without it isn’t a problem for him at all. i don’t think he’d be like horny 24/7 around you, most of the time he’s just happy to be around you

Z = Zzz

- like i said w aftercare hobie prefers to stay up with you and spend time. even if it’s late at night he will try his absolute best, he’s not sleeping until he’s sure you’re comfortable and completely cleaned up. unless you like emptied his balls or destroyed him or something, then aftercare is on you i guess 🤕

[draculeo]

hi this is so random but i need to wax poetic. you have no obligation to reply to this. also i do not mean this in a parasocial way at ALL lmao i recognize that idk you trust. i first found ur blog in 2020 as a eighth grader in lockdown that was completely lost. i had lost my uncle to covid during that time and went from being a stellar student to receding into my shell and watching my grades tank. my shit home situation and undiagnosed depression led to me sinking into any form of escapism possible, mainly thru the form of books. i was super obsessed with perry johnson LMAO at the time and had all the time in the world to look into the fandom. this was around the time the unnamed author was just, like, violently and belligerently racist and scathing to any fans that questioned otherwise. being a tumblrina, i went to this site to see people comment on this, only to find you and ur mutuals were the only people openly discussing how he was just plain vile. i remember how sickened i felt seeing how you and other people of color were getting doxxed and threatened for pointing out what i thought was incredibly obvious. as a rlly sheltered person of color, this was the first time it struck me that the world was lying about how much they were actually willing to stick up for us, as before that i was just stupidly optimistic. anyways bc of that i started checking ur blog like EVERYDAY because of how much your words resonated with me. i was in complete awe of just how witty you were, and how you took no shit from people. granted this was a defense mechanism from crazy ass white fandom bitches but it was still weirdly inspiring. i still remember seeing u pull out the yale trap card so often and being like, oh shit this girl is something else lol thats hysterical. for the rest of high school i would keep up to date with u and specifically ur writing and poetry on promethes. kal i need you to realize your words actually rearranged my brain. the poems about your great grandfather, your mother, your pos friend, of being a horror, to love and to be loved is rest, everything EVERYTHING is etched into my memory. i really feel like i stumbled onto the modern fucking plato or something. anyways my critical thinking skills and love of poetry both are strongly influenced by you. i used to be the kind of person that hated everything and couldnt bear the thought of tolerating this world for another second. but your unyielding positivity and optimism, and insistence that kindness being the more difficult choice is inherently more radical really changed me. ik u didnt invent that or yadda yadda but u really made it seem real. im still learning to take each day slower, to breathe in a little deeper, but the beauty of so many things i previously dismissed is so obvious to me now. that post you made about you and ur mutuals educating a whole generation is so true lol. so just thank you. honestly thank u thank u thank you from the bottom of my heart. im a senior now who just submitted my yale application tonight and thought of you and im a little drunk right now so i think thats why i wrote this whole ass essay but just. like idk. u changed me and idek know you. i made my friend who got into princeton a trap card bc urs was so inspiring lol. anyways i truly hope you have a peaceful happy life and a good night. your soul is really such a beautiful thing and you deserve the world pls never settle for anything less

idc if it’s parasocial i love u and want the best for u and know u will go far and i almost doxxed myself by telling u the city i live in so u could look me up if you’re ever here lol. ik im a stranger or whatever but im proud of u idc ur like my adopted little sibling now. also @taumoeba yale card inspiring generations

[matd0]

life update ig ??:

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi !!!

ok so

1. i mentioned about having medical issues and some people got concerned so i just want to quickly explain the thing yk; in short it turns out having anxiety can cause heart arrhythmia ????? which can be like kinda dangerous;; but like in most cases it's fairly harmless so i should be alright :] !! still have to go check it out at the hospital (which i have been sorta putting off for a while bc yk. anxiety,, lol) but like other than it stressing me out a bit, everything is relatively fine :]

2. school is kicking my ass rn 💀 have a lot of unfinished work and missed a ton of classes bc my mental health kinda sucks,, so yk it's not exactly going great lol. but uhhhhhhhhhh im sure I'll figure it out ? ig ?? ye.

3. got a small art block. well it's more like "i have so much work to do, how dare i draw at a time like this" (and then just go to sleep bc im soo stressed and overwhelmed about everything 💀) but like. I'll probably get over it soon 🤷

idk i also just feel super obligated to always post super high effort paintings if i have many followers yk? like alot of the time i just feel like my drawings aren't good enough and everyone will like despise me for it;; and idk ig i just need constant approval for everything i do for some reason sjdhjshd. ik it's like. a really inaccurate and terrible way to look at it but i just can't rlly help it;;

uhhh all that to say, i hope it's alright if i post more sketches and unfinished drawings ? ;;

4. i would like to formally apologize for barely responding to literally anything. like. im so sorry dudes;;;;;;; unfortunately i have. very intense social anxiety and literally do not respond to anyone ever. (/srs it's like. a genuine issue in my life. whoops) but like i feel super bad about it bc i don't want to seem like i don't care T_T cuz lik e. i literally read every comment, message, tag, etc. and they always make me so so so happy ;;;;; like i routinely show screencaps of random comment to my friends gush about how nice they are 💀 idk point being; im a loser, i love all of you and it blows my mind that anyone cares about my silly drawings for a p much dead fandom lol.

extra: also i uh made a creepypasta oc 🧍‍♂️might post about him maybe idk im scared it'll be cringe sjhsjsgdhgdhd epic

TLDR; pretty stressed, small art block, school suckz, might die but probably not lol.

(sorry this came off super negative and sort of venty 💀 its all good i swear, im just silly)

[un-father]

i get some men too who message me and immediately jump into asking for nudes or sexting or they like to say “they really would appreciate help” to try and guilt me or smth but the thing is i don’t even post anything, they all find me through my liked posts since they’re public. honestly it’s annoying, bc as much as ik i shouldn’t feel bad and im just falling for their guilt trap when they get angry or annoyed at me, i just can’t help it and end up feeling awful and thinking abt it forever how i should’ve just done this one little thing and i could’ve helped them. idk i just wish ppl were more respectful there’s been one person out of probably somewhere around 20 men who have done stuff like that and i don’t understand it but still end up feeling guilty every time.

You have no reason to feel like that.

While wanting to help is a big drive in some you have no obligation to do so. Remember you can say no, stand your ground and don't back down.

They don't like when they are confronted. Or block them if they can't take no for and answer.

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

small rant below <3

tbh. genuinely so upset ab the bryce whitewashing. not in the way i was angry before but the fact that i don't really have anyone on my dash anymore. like i didn't even follow most of the people on there but id still have more activity even just from rbs and stuff. but it's so fucking quiet now. literally posting for myself w hours between dash updates

and there are still people mad at ME for blocking and unfollowing them. for whitewashing. then not apologizing or apologizing badly. like bro i didn't want you to do it EITHER!!! it's so fucking lonely here and this is my hyperfixation so there's not really anything i can do ab it. im still going to be here but no way am i supporting people who explain away their racism yk. you're not getting rid of me that easy but im under no obligation to make amends

like. ik choices is a horrible fandom bc pb breeds an environment made for erasure. made for white cis people. but idk this whole thing just solidified that there really is barely anyone decent here. like w how many fandom activists that were contently supporting racism it really showed that. yeah. most people here do suck.

and i don't mind having those people gone. but i just wish there were More than 5 people i can confidently follow and know they won't create an unsafe hateful environment. it's such a bad fandom to be in but i can't do anything ab it

like it's really killed my desire to create bc the people i can comfortably talk to aren't even in the fandoms im in. so what's the point yk. and like all those people that supported my creations are the ones that got mad that i wasn't willing to mediate and hear Another apology. why are they apologizing to me anyway. like i wasn't the only one hurt, and on top of that i was just the one who bothered to say something. like. that's the kind of fandom it is. don't say anything until you get called out then be upset when people don't immediately forgive and forget. idk. i just hate what that event did and the fact that there are still people who don't care about their actions. and on top of that i really can't interact w fandom anymore bc of it (and other reasons bc half the "big" creators here are incredibly ignorant to their biases or are ai supporters. so.)

but yeah idk. just wishing for the fandom to be something it's not for personal reasons bc i want an active dash

[honeysucklethornsandalligtrhorns]

TSP Character Headcanons!!

these are just personal headcanons of mine- you are not obliged to agree :]]

btw this will be a long long post so im putting the cut here lmao

𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℕ𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕣:

-demisexual af. like he sees absolutely no appeal in ANYONE unless he's hardcore bonded with em (cough cough Stanley)

-ik this one is common but he absolutely talks with his hands, like, to the point where you have to stand further back because they're gesturing so much

-cannot STAND anything scented. scented candles, soap, even certain foods (hm? projecting onto characters who?)

-He could change his voice to sound like anything (like with the mannequin wife) they just went with a british accent since it thought it made them sound 'smart and sophisticated'.

-germophobe to the max- always washing his hands, wiping stuff down, etc.. it wears gloves often in order to keep itself clean (and sane)

-only ever eats dark chocolate (FOR THE RECORD I FUCKIN HATE DARK CHOCOLATE)

-he loaded in his human avatar once and hit their funny bone/ulnar nerve HARD against a desk, and proceeded to sob for an hour while Stanley calmed him down

-he/they/it pronouns babyyy

-will often show Stanley the dumbest most grandma/white mom-eqsue facebook memes (he thinks its comedy gold and Stanley never has the heart to tell it that they're oh so painfully unfunny)

-when it realised he had feelings for Stanley he immediately reset out of surprise and fear (stanley was three hours into the baby game and wanted to strangle them afterwards)

𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕝𝕖𝕪:

-before the Parable he'd use almost an entire bottle of hair gel every day to keep his hair flat (he honestly prefers it natural)

-this guy is the biggest fucking fan of fidget toys. buttons especially.

-pansexual but demiromantic babyyyy

-has in fact eaten several bugs, the current running list including a cockroach, a mealworm, and a surprising number of ants and flies (a lot of them by accident)

-has also eaten dirt, mud, and candy wrappers- he was the type of kid who just put everything in his mouth lmao

-uses 5 million emojis/tone indicators when he texts, it started out as a joke but now he genuinely feels like he can't get his point across without them

-instead of scented things, he can't stand bad textures- the feeling of stucco walls, rubbing your fingernail wrong etc.. it's one of the reasons he's not the biggest fan of slime- he hates the feeling of it sticking to your fingers.

-he fuckin loves citrus. the fruits, the scent, etc..

-when he realised he had feelings for the Narrator he just. locked himself in the broom closet with the bucket for a couple hours.

𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕒:

-demigirl AND a lesbian babyyy

-she loves berries. blueberries especially.

-yes, she can backflip. she learned how back in high school, trying out for cheer (their crush was on the team and they wanted to impress her).

-has a hard time letting go of things- gets attached very easily lmao. She has a ton of burnt-out candles and broken mugs still sitting around their apartment.

-has punched multiple people in the face and... other places, in defense of her friends- loyal af

-likes to sing but is mediocre at best; they're really into showtunes and 70s 'hippie music'. she got to see stevie nicks in concert, and considers it one of her highest achievements. also partial to heavier stuff like rock and roll

-has a really close relationship with their dad- he helped her a lot growing up and he was so supportive of them when she came out (projecting again?? ME???)

-she has a 14-year-old pet cockatoo named Alfred (idk why im including this it's just something i believe in)

this post is getting so long but i just had to include my favorites, part 2 later!!

[zumicho]

♥︎ THANK YOU FOR THE TAG ZEE !!

STARTED WRITING

for as long as I can remember! I have loads of novel/story drafts, scripts, & fics in my gdoc drafts and my notes app collecting dust TT

STARTED BLOGGING

I’ve had tumblr since 2017 (?) but only started posting early this month — I’m relatively new on here even though I’ve been in this community for a while, I’ve just been hiding lol

FOLLOWERS

in less than a month we’ve gotten to 277 AND I’M SO SO GRATEFUL BECAUSE WHAT??? still comprehending that there are people who actually read & like my work; even if the number seems minuscule it’s big deal to me, thank u thank u thank u 😭😭🤍

COMMUNICATION

I’m super extroverted n a huge people person irl, I’m not sure why that doesn’t translate online HHH.. social anxiety on here is insane,,

it gets me excited when I get to interact w any of u tho :( whether replies, dms, or reblogs, it makes my day always <3

LIKES

the form of interaction doesn’t matter to me ^^ getting my content out is what brings me joy !! thankful for the support in any way shape or form ♡( • ◡ < )✧˖°

REQUESTS

open at all times send them in!! but like zee mentioned, I don’t obligate myself + depending heavy on inspiration

WRITING

writing is quite literally just another way I vent 🚶🏻‍♀️ this is why 90% of my work is self indulgent / related to me & i churn them out like a machine

WORKS IM PROUD OF

my bokuto drabble I made recently is one of my favorites <\3 possibly because it’s him; my SMAUs are very once done store away & never think of them again but my upcoming one: off the charts , has some writing which I’m very proud of & it has a very special place in my heart (which I’ve said before too) !!!

♥︎ tags: @yenonnoff @causenessus (sorry ness ik I’m filling up ur notifs TT) @wyrcan @mitskicain @meloinurmind @gl6ss + anyone who wants to participate !

Behind the scenes of a Tumblr Writer - Tag Game

Hey there, I love behind the scenes and since this is something that's rarely talked about, let me start the chain... if you feel uncomfortable with a question, just skip it. You can add some if you want as well.

Started writing: I wrote my first Harry Potter fanfic at age 10. Started posting around 15,16 years old. I'm now 31, so...

Started blogging: I started on a German fanfiction site around 2010/11 I think. Might have been earlier too, but back then I was mostly reading, no posting. I really started when I got into One Direction (very late, tbh)

Followers: Currently at 961, which is wild to me. I don't even know that many people IRL. I convince myself that half of them are bots tbh, so I don't freak out all the time.

Communication: The people I talk to regularly are: a few writers who answered after I constantly reblogged and commented on their works and a few people who commented and reblogged my work. Writing and blogging on here can be pretty lonely, depending on your personality and the time you're active (I'm from Europe and a lot of my followers seem to be living in Northern America, so there's the Timezone thing) ... And I found that the best way to strike a conversation is to reblog, comment, and to not be shy. I do wish I got more asks, though....

Likes: I actually filter them out. I have 793 original posts up at the moment. It doesn't give me anything to know how many likes a fic has other than to tell me which characters are liked more than others or maybe that one fic does especially well. My activity only shows me comments, asks, reblogs with tags, and answers to my own asks. I live for the tags and the comments.

Requests: I love talking to people about ideas. That's how I started the plotbunny game because I have so many ideas and so little time. And sometimes an idea just doesn't want to be written out fully. Requests are fun because YAY, I get some mail... but then I freak out because I don't really know how to write this NOW and then I freak out because it's been a week already, two weeks, wait, two months? I'd rather have suggestions where people tell me vague things like "I'd love to read something about this side character" or "Have you ever considered this character with a soulmate trope"? because then I don't have the feeling of failing the request when I write it a little bit differently.

Writing: I am a fast writer. I know that's one of my talents. I can churn out a oneshot of 1k words in less than an hour. People read slower than I write. That can suck sometimes because you've just posted this and you want to know what people are thinking but they're not as fast as you are. I do have a lot of ideas. I want to write constantly but my brain doesn't always want to. I am trying to respect that.

There are also certain things that I just feel wrong writing. I cannot write anything suggestive (I also don't like reading it) and everything past that gives me panic attacks. I can hardly write mean characters and jealousy feels so wrong to me that I cannot write it. I've also overdone it with the soulmark trope and now I feel like everything I write about it feels lifeless.

I write best in the mornings before going to work, but I don't have much time there. I don't need special music (but it helps), but I need to have at least some energy left and at best, no distractions. But I have been writing for over 20 years, so I will say experience helps a lot.

Tagging: @revasserium @shoulmate @lemurzsquad @screamin-abt-haikyuu @toomanygoldfish @satorisoup @emmyrosee @reverie-starlight @alienaiver and @writingsofanomnivore and everyone else who wants to join

[clairenatural]

y’all we were all roleplaying on twitter yesterday. we just told two different stories. ours trended nationally the entire day and was at #4 for a few hours and wasn’t really roleplay it was just us perceiving the truth and chad’s featured ash beating up elvis and then the roadhouse blowing up. as far as i’m concerned, the only thing he and samantha contributed to our story/perception of the truth was initially saying “wedding” and “roadhouse” in the same sentence (and he definitely knew what we were all talking about and intentionally fanned the flames that first night, but whatever). after that it was all us. we planned it and we carried it out. what they say about their story/twitter roleplay/fanfiction doesn’t impact ours and is no more valid than ours, because they don’t own the story any more than we do (and. ours trended nationally and hit #4 and had 50k tweets and reached millions of twitter users).

[sir-arlieosaurus-lung-struggler]

Like- I'm annoyed cause, I don't feel like this should have to be my responsibility. I'm fine with taking it I just shouldn't feel or be obligated (before it even starts anyway). I, a child, in a new setting, with a life, shouldnt have to at least feel like im building my comunity from the ground up. I know I'll have help. What I dont know is any fucking thing to do with how this shit will be set up or look like or sny fucking thing, like i dont want this 1 to curmble like the last native club. I shouldn't be ligit feeling peer pressured by literal adults to do this shit.

Then on top of that the native teacher they had to run the club left, so I can anticipate just how fucking awkward this can and or will be with a non-native staff member running this ship. Like I prey to God *I* dont have to educate THEM. (Ik I likey won't honestly but I admitadly overthink way too much)

It's not my responsibility to educate you! I was not born a god damn teacher! And that's from someone who likes talking about and teaching people about shit im invested in! (under the right circumstances ofc but anyway) like genuinely I just ask about native support as a "funny" test at this point to see how they react & of the ~5 times I've asked (different ppl, different times, etc) MOST have been like "... I think? Wait can you check my notes? Ya, I think so, don't quote me on that though." And if not that just "hey, you can start a club!" Like do they not get that I didn't just mean "club" when i say native support? (In retrospect maybe they took it like that cause there was club showcases in the same room, but it WAS a general orientation) i meant like- idk? logistical support?! Any native staff!?!? I mean just look at our fucking drop out rates god damn 🤦!

[Image ID: Screenshot from Native Hope's websight reading "Thus, it stands to reason that many Native students a negative attitude toward education has been transferred down through generations and affects children today. In fact, Native American children have the highest dropout rates of any ethnic group in the United States. Recent statistics from the Bureau of Indian Affairs have noted that 29% to 36% of all Native American students drop out of school, mostly between the 7th and 12th grades. These numbers are even higher in areas where the parents complain of a major lack of understanding of Native culture within the school/community. This means only 75 percent of Native students graduate high school—this is the lowest graduation rate among American students. The post-secondary success rate is more disparaging with only 9.3 percent of all Native Americans earning a college degree." /. End ID]

Stats curtesy of Native Hope (linked here)

Like. This shit is isolating. I'm still kinda pissed but at least i know how to channel anger into productive spite 🙂 guess who's got 2 thumbs and has extensive training in living through spite?! Disss guyyyy

On this topic here's my playlist I made for this exact feeling of intersectional isolation that i made a lil bit back when I was in the middle of an existential crisis :D

(Just for the fuck of it I'm tagging u @sillyboigaylus)

Eee. I've definitely had a day 😑

So. I'm (going to try to) start a native club at school (w/ @axoodle, again thank u)

Lowkey pissed, but ultimately exited honestly. Like "Yay! Oportunity!" & also "Yay! Oportunity I feel kinda obligated to." 😑 at least I dont think we'd be starting from scratch-scratch. There was a native club but it dissolved after some kind of drama or complications in preivious years I think.

Honestly I just wanted to go through HS as undetected as possible, like as little ppl know my name as I could manage, but fine, damn me for wanting community 😑. Still exited about the club tho, ultimately, hope it goes well) I guess making a club will look good on transcripts, if I even go to collage lol (look at Pic under cut for reference)

So ya. Hope this goes well, bringing more attention to myself- as a gay native 🫥

So ya. Advice? If u have any

[Image ID: screenshot with text that reqds "in 2020, 22% of the 18-24-year-old Native American population were enrolled in collage compared to 40% of the overall US population. since fall 2010, native american enrollment has declined from 196,000 to 123,000, a 37% decrease: undergraduate enrollment declined from 179,000 to 107,000, a 40% decrease." /.End ID]

Pic from Google after looking up "native american college rates"

[triageatborealis]

ok I'm gonna stop the queue for this blog officially. I don't really have the energy for it too much tbh, and my interest in hlvrai is fading off hardcore. I'll still post occasionally, but don't really expect anything timely. I may do some more week day posts, but no promises.

I'll use this to quickly promo my tf2 blog, if anyone is interested in following me there; @nyann-co

And again, my main blog is @skyblurry

[ffeynn]

oml another enstars writing blog!! if its not too much, what about leo tsukinaga and hiyori tomoe hcs or scenario (whichever you like whahah) with a sleep deprived s/o?

ive been reading your posts and i love it so far btw (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

「 sleep deprived s/o: leo and hiyori 」

a/n: anon anon anon first of all thank you for loving my post!! and second,, uuu this is bad.. it's ooc yes ik but i just don't have it in me to make it better ah ah im sorry anon!

pairings: tsukinaga leo, tomoe hiyori x reader (seperates)

when leo opened the door to your room, he didn’t expect to be greeted with a sight of you drinking your coffeeーwait why are there so many cupsー, eyes slightly red and look at the bags under your eyes!

are you doing your work? if you’re then you should stop because he can’t bear seeing you like this. leo went straight to leap himself to your side, wrapping his arms around you making you caught off-guard. “leo?” you looked at your lover who’s practically latched to you.

“stop working! let’s go to sleep already.” he pulled away from you and dragged the chair you’re sitting on far from your messy desk which was filled with documents and such.

you turned to your back with your mouth pouting a bit, “but it’s afternoon leo and I still have work to be done.” if he wasn’t resolute to bring you to sleep, he would’ve given it up to you. no good, leo’s too weak when attacked with your puppy eyes.. although you didn’t even pull a puppy eyes.

the tangerine haired shook his head, telling you he refuses to hear those excuses. what care of afternoon when you clearly haven’t been getting enough sleep for days now! and you obviously should prioritize your health before work, if you get sick because of your overloaded work then leo will go meet your boss himself.

“nope, nope. I don’t care about that, you’re more important than that! you said your deadline is the day after tomorrow right? then we can go to sleep now, I miss cuddling with you~”

oh dear, if he says it like that, you’re for sure going to oblige whatever he’s up to. you missed cuddling with your boyfriend too so there’s no cons in this. begrudgingly not, you stood up from your chair and was about to walk to your bed when suddenly your legs felt weak. resulting in you to fall down except leo managed to catch you in the process.

the expression on leo’s face hurts you, was he that worried? you’re both thankful and guilty for that.

in no time, you were already under the blanket acting as a small spoon in your cuddling position with leo. his hand caressing your hair up and down while he hums a lullaby he made up for you on the spot. you never realized how sleepy you were until leo took you in his arms, putting you to sleep with his melodic voice and slow hair caressing.

leo looked at your face and realized you’re already asleep, he smiled subconsciously upon the peaceful expression you have. he doesn’t want you to get sick from sleep deprivationーleo doesn’t want you to get sick at all!

maybe sometimes sure, he can take care of you after all. anyway, now that you’re asleep, he’s going to go to sleep too. may he meet you in the dreamland.

“if you want me to stop staring at you then go to sleep.” he huffed at your stubbornness to keep on doing your work.

when hiyori heard the news of you being deprived of sleep for few days straight, he went to your house immediately once his schedule for the day had finished. lucky for him, today’s schedule ends early or he would’ve gotten in more trouble for skipping out.

which brought us to this situation; hiyori taking a seat beside you, never leaving his eyes off you while you restlessly typed into your laptop.

as much as he wants to take the laptop away from you and drag you to the bed, hiyori will believe the fact that you said you’re almost done. “and.. done. now to revise itー” hearing your decision of working more, your lover gasped.

“no can do sunshine, we’re putting you to sleep now! and if your boss has any complaints with you taking a rest after overworking you then I, tomoe hiyori will send my complaints.” the green haired stood up from his seat and held your hands tight before taking you to the bed despite your obvious reluctance.

even so, hiyori is right, you really need to be put to sleep. you didn’t even realize the lack of sleep you have is uncountable.

“you can’t do that hiyo.. alright, alright, don’t give me those eyes, I’ll go to bed.” you chuckled at how frustrated he looks. a thought flashed in your mind but to say it will be selfish. and yet, hiyori noticed that you wanted to say something. tell him! he’ll do anything for you unless it doesn’t go overboard.

“if.. ah.. do you mind laying beside me?” the smile that flashed upon his face made it seem as if hiyori had been waiting for you to say it. your speculation was right actually. he has been waiting for you to invite him and on the off chance you didn’t he’ll just invite himself to you.

hiyori quickly gets himself under the blanket, leaving no distance between you and him. sometimes the big spoon is hiyori and sometimes it’s you. today the big spoon is hiyori. as he let you snuggle onto him, face in the crook of his neck, hiyori left a kiss on top of your head. a goodnight kiss or so he says.

you better not wake up first! since you’re the one who’s sleep deprived, you should get more sleep than him. in no time did your boyfriend find you asleep and in no time did hiyori fall asleep along with you after leaving some more head kisses.

[anna-scribbles]

i was tagged by @ponpasta, a fact which nearly made me go into cardiac arrest bc pon is one of my favorite artists on this site and also the real actual creator of connie maheswaran <333 luh u <3

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

1. steven getting taken off cash register duty  (i’m just gonna include 1 panel from long comics)

I had to include one of my gf/su crossover things (even tho they’re from before I rly knew how to use procreate lol) bc thats the original anna-scribbles brand babey!! this comic is probably my favorite one from that series just bc it still makes me laugh and I love making steven stupid <3

2. prettiest boy in paris

this one isn’t particularly good from like an Artistic Standpoint but I just think i rly captured the essence of adrien with these. like. thats just a little boy. hes pretty and full of love. yeah

3. summer nights 

I like the colors and the vibe of this one a lot!! it feels very peaceful and casual which is something these kids don’t get a lot so I like to give it to them. I drew this before I knew how to color in procreate so I was v proud of the colors back then and i’m less proud now but ik I worked a long time on it so i’m still a little proud

4. just some stevens 

I like these a LOTTTT esp the top middle steven, I think he looks really steven-y. I had a lot of fun playing with different kinds of warm & cool lighting, and experimenting with different not-okay steven facial expressions. also I drew lion which I never do bc lions are hard to draw but I like how it came out. & the way he’s nuzzling steven’s neck turned out exactly how I wanted!!ok im done 

5. at comm

this was my first Big Commission!! I worked on it for many hours and I was very proud of how close to the original adventure time style I was able to get the characters. I showed it to my dad and he said he liked it :)

6. tell me something

this commission I love a whole lot!!! it’s a scene from one of my favorite fics EVER, tell me something (I don’t know) by @chatnoirinette​. idk if u can tell but the real star of this piece is the railing on marinette’s balcony bc that took SO LONG to draw. but i also like the expressions and the lighting and how glowy chat’s eyes are 

7. obvious animatic 

baby’s first animatic!!! ive been wanting to make an animatic since I was like 15  so I finally sat down and did it and I actually love it a lot. I think it’s rly expressive and fun to watch and I enjoyed testing how many sparkles I could put in adrien’s eyes until he ran out of pupil 

8. ladrien christmas 

this is my most recent full piece (for @mlsecretsanta​) so I actually kind of DO know how to color in procreate in this one!! I almost never do backgrounds but I tried one in this and I like how it turned out. also I love how glowy the little light strands are and i’m just a sucker for ladrien in general so all around it makes me happy to look at 

ill probably make a sappy post later abt how much fun being on tumblr has been for me this year but this post is already too long so we’ll save it lol 

I tag @sabertoothwalrus​ @spooksier​ @chatnoirinette​ @marikittynoir​ @ladybuginettes​ @peachcitt​ @tizzymcwizzy​ @rosekasa​ @jattendschaton​

no obligation obviously!! I just love all of your work sm <3

[ozzy-bozzy]

ok ik u said u wanted more requests for other sk8 characters im so sorry but i just had this great idea for a Reki angst fic. Reki’s crush finally admits they like him and he automatically thinks they’re in the talking phase after that, so he doesn’t say anything ab his returned feelings. but they think he just kindly rejected them. so they grow more distant and don’t notice his more flirty behavior. so Reki now thinks he did something wrong. and after a while more of them avoiding him, he breaks and asks if they don’t like him anymore and they hit him with the “why does it matter? you don’t like me anyway, right? i’m just trying to avoid getting hurt further.” and then it all connects for him. i’m sorry this is so long and another Reki request :’>

hello! I hope this is written okay, I loved the idea :((!!

also ik I posted about it a while ago, but pls never apologize for something like this! I know I asked for more sk8 characters but I love writing for Reki and Langa so it's no trouble getting requests for them!! I'm comfortable writing for them so if anything those requests might even get done first :D!!

also sorry if this is musty dusty am tired and its deadass 2:17 am LMAOO

You fumbled with your fingers, tapping them against each other and listening to the soft taps of your nails hitting each other. You could feel your heart beating throughout your body, the rapid pulse keeping you in a steadily nervous state as you waited in the shade of a tree.

You had texted Reki and asked him to meet you here, and when you thought that was nerve-wracking enough he said he would text Langa to meet the both of you there and you had to explain that you wanted the two of you to be alone. And you had to do it without revealing too much, less you start confessing your feelings over text.

The rhythmic sound of skateboard wheels clacking over sidewalk cracks broke you from your thoughts and you looked up to see Reki already looking back, both confused and a twinge of concern gracing his features. Once he reached you, he saw how nervous and jittery you were,

“Hey, you okay? You look like something terrible happened; are you hurt?”

“N-no..Reki.. I’m okay don’t worry..”

He popped his board up off the ground and propped it against the tree you were leaning against and sat down next to it, looking up at you and patting the grass next to him,

“Well, let’s talk about whatever you have to say”

You gulped, nodding and sitting down next to him. He saw you wringing your hands together and reached to hold one in his own, and you hated how immediately the effect was on you. You took and deep breath and looked at him, he looked ready to listen.

“Um… so I wanted to tell you.. How I’ve been feeling...towards you..” He didn’t move to respond, just waited for you to continue,

“And.. and if you don’t feel the same or if I make you uncomfortable please just stop me so I don’t embarrass myself, it won’t hurt my feelings or anything I just don’t want you to feel obligated or anything...but I really, really like you Reki, and I have for a while. And if you’re okay with it, I was wondering if we could maybe do something about...us..?”

You had been staring down at your entwined fingers, and when you peeked up at him he was just staring back at you. After no response, you felt the embarrassment flood over you and you went to slip your hand from his when he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you against his side, a soft smile on his face,

“Oh, sweetheart you’re so cute” he rested his cheek against your head and rubbed your shoulder soothingly. You melted into his side, but couldn’t help the nagging in your head that he never actually answered you. And that nagging feeling found itself a nice little home in the back of your mind where it reminded you every time you seemed to forget about it.

Days had passed since the faithful confession and Reki had seemed more cheery than usual, but you just chalked it up to him being himself or just being in a good mood, but Reki was having more than just a good few days. His adorable little crush had confessed to him and actually, truly liked him back, the same way he liked them. He had gone home that day and told Langa all about how cute they are and how in love he was. Reki would buy you lunch the days you go out together, would invite you out even when Langa wasn’t available, and would ask to call you all the time. He even offered to help teach you how to skate and would make you your very own deck.

The more he spent quality time with you and thought he was making you happy and getting closer to asking you out, he was driving you away. After thinking it over and over again in your head, you had realized he probably was just letting you down soft by not opening up about his feelings or answered you when you asked to further your relationship. This lead to you making a lot more excuses than usual, telling Reki you weren’t feeling good or were tired whenever he asked to hang out. Eventually leading to you just not going out to meet him at all.

Reki was concerned about how distant you were growing and asked Langa if he had noticed, to which he agrees it’s weird but didn’t think much of it. After about a week and a half of you seemingly avoiding him, he sat on his bed and called you. When you answered, he could feel his whole mood lighten and all his worries were washed away just from the sound of your voice,

“Hey, I had something to ask you” He wondered if you could hear the smile on his face when he talked,

“What, Reki?” You seemed a little annoyed, but it was pretty late, maybe you were just tired and he caught you right before bed,

“I was wondering if you were okay? We don’t seem to spend any time together anymore and I missed you…”

“What?”

“I mean, I don’t know, it could just be me overthinking but like..” He caught himself chewing on his lip and he didn’t know why he was so afraid to ask you, “...it just kinda feels like you aren’t really interested in me anymore? And I was hoping we could talk about it” your silence was so loud, and Reki was about to ask if you were still on the line before you started talking,

“Are you serious? What would it even matter if I’m still interested in you anymore, it’s not like you let me know you were interested in me anyway. Honestly, I’m just trying to keep myself from getting any more hurt, so please, just leave me alone. Goodnight, Reki.”

Reki pulled his phone from his ear when he heard the call ending’s telltale tone and stared down at the screen with wide eyes. Falling back on his bed, he thought about the past couple of weeks and you. You had seemed so happy and bubbly around the time you confessed, and then after when he started to make more contact with you you just seemed to drift away more and more. Could you have just lost interest? No, you had so much emotion when you had confessed and when he had called you, there was no way for you to have lost interest in him so fast. You had said how he had never made it clear he was interested in you too, and staring up at his ceiling, Reki realizes he never actually relayed his feelings out loud, so all the meaning and emotion he put into his attempts to spend more time with you meant nothing to you. He could feel his hands start to shake and the pressure of tears building up.

Pulling his phone back up, he tried calling you again, only for it to go straight to voicemail. He tried texting you, asking for a chance to explain himself, but you never answered or even bothered to read the messages. Reki knew he had to try, he didn’t know what he would do if he lost you for good. He figured if he put our the effort to show you he made a mistake you might listen and give him a chance, but there was a small part of him that told him it doesn’t matter at this point. He waited too long. It just seems like he’s pitying you now and that you’re never going to hear him out.

With shaky hands, he set his phone down on his nightstand and curled up around a pillow. Staring at the device, waiting for it to light up with a late response from you, he felt warm tears slowly fall down his cheek and stain small puddles on the fabric of his pillowcase.

[isaksforelsket]

.

[aphrorite]

-ˏˋ sweetheart diaries ˊˎ- #8 !! 🥞💫🧸

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ♡༘

⋆ ✧₊ june 14th 2022 🎻🍞🐻 ⊹ɞ

hewwo diary :3 today im din hav too ba day, or may bee im jus block out da bad parts >_< im slight vent buuuuut also a feel teensy 🤏 bit bwetter. <3

tw vent // vent regression

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

so where do im start diary? 😮😮 oh ya ! :3 2day im woke up likeee 10 mins before my bus came so im din hav much time 2 get ready BUT BUT BUT ,,, im did wear deordoorrant which is gud ! cos usually when i wakes up lil lwates dese days , im forget deodorant n it make me very embarrassed bcos im stress sweat easily … n dont wanna bother peoples w bad smellys ))): so am proud dat im din forget this time!!! ^ω^ am wore a maroon varsity jacket dat matches my school colours <3 denim jean shorts n a white tubbie top along w my signature pearl necklace :33 im was feeling very pretty today 🙈😊

sooo todays im got on bus in time 🚌 ^o^ im din get time eat breakfast doe so im was hungry ))))): gurgurugyrle. maths class was really borinf n i din really understand it >_< n den art class was vry rypical but im had funny moment where im went to refill the paper towel n just as i refill it there dis guy who looked down at the papertowel like :0 then at me like :0 and we had a good laugh <3 (:

im kinda sad doe because recently my friend has been acting weird :I she wa skinda passive aggressive to me when i explained to her tht i was hanging out w my close friend for stranger tings s4 n was like “i understand u wanted to hangout w him but likeee im here you know” which mad eme feel kinda sad and obliged when i dont owe her any of my time as a friend . bcos if we were gonna aply this logic to her than id passively aggressive remark her everytime she hang out w her friends. and she has lots. but i dont. im dont even b mad or express it. ya it kinda lonely and a lil sad bc i wish i had lot friend like her doe honestly she just kinda poopy friend rn ): n even when she hangout w other friend i understand cos everyone have ofher fg and she do too and she not obliged to hangout w me but when she do its like im not even dere. u inv me and rhen trweat me badly. is meanie. and den after that day i tried hanging out w her or a few day later n then she really left me out n i just walk behind everyone and felt so alone and she din even say goodbye to me when i walked into my class so i felt so alone and left out and unwanted ): i wanted 2 cry ))): after dat day things habent felt the same and seein what she posts on her story makes me feel like it a slap in the face becos she always talking abt how she so stressed abt schoolwork but i see her hanging out w her friends every single day and den she complains abt it, n then complains abt people msging her n doesnt reply and it makes her sound rlly ungrateful ): ik she jusy very stressed bur if she is then she should let people know to take it easy on her but she dont n it really… urhhggg it make me ): angy. sad. bothered. annoyed. and its ok to feel day way cos its emorions and i am allowed to. *sigh* im jusy wish dings were diff cos i thought she were my rock doe for now i just distance :I

im gor driveb work n it was :IIIII,,, OH OMGGGG im went into winners and i found dese rlly cute stuffies n a playmat!! a lady looked ar me weird but im kiddo so is ok if i look at toys n placemats ):< even if i not kiddomo it still ok hmph )):<< but YA they were so cute uhggg im wants buy them so bad it was $40 OG but was going for $30 so only 10% off T^T hmph. dey were feel like pillows doe when i touch the playmat so now i reallllyyy want a playmat or a pink rug :0 for my room !!!!

so den i ate lunch n it was yummy 😋:3 but when i try deunk me water it had soap in it becaos im not priplery clean waterborfl yesterday!!!!! ): but fortunatel y im make myself custom order at starbuck n manage to get a deal ! im wanted fhe deagonfruit lemonade refresher but for a grande 470 ml it was 5.85, so im did custom lemonade w 2 pump raspberry, scoop of strawberry, dragonfruit infusiob and light ice in a venti 780 ml and got that for 5.35 so i got a deal for the same taste :DD 😋😁 i happy it mobile ordee roo soo im not have to spend time trying to tell ordwer cos im get anxious sometime ))): esp w starbuck. i am ok w ordering boba sometime bcos im know what i want but starbuck mot so mych ))):

work kinda made me sad ): im was on stock and the only ding i get as a gift for working at it for 4 ish month is a 75$ gift card dat would b like… abt 1-2 paycheck (basically one biweekly for a month) but i did internship for free for 4 month. ): i just wish i learnee more or had a more enjoyable experience because honestly my boss is very toxic and she completely didnt even inv me to the employee photo for an outfit op which make me feel excluded and alone, hearing them all pose and laugh outside on the sales floor while i worked on stock alone in the back ):

my rl mom told me that alone i stand out feom the crowd as a star and dont need people like them who seek external validation which sort of made me feel better but i just wish id feel not so alone even when in crowds ): im always feel like an alien or an outsider )):

im got home, pet my furbaby, n then fell asleepy when im not supposed to ): so i feel bad abt taking nap. im sleep for 3 hr wake up n is 8:30 . im did homework which was personal finance n was kinda hard so i couldnt get alot done :I my rl mom gav me food doe before bed n brought it up which was nice bc i was only thinkin of homeworks n not of dindin. so im ate bacon egg and some 🍜 😊😋 yum yum.

am was hesitant but im called my clwose friend cos recently him n i gots in situation dat really made me sad ): we had a heart-to-heart conversation dwoe and now have a better understanding and i am so relieved dat i checked on him bc i miss his voice n his lil laughs n stutters ))’: and he missed me too which made my heart warm ( ^ω^ ) am glad that im din cry too cos if i did then itd b difficults to speak but im was super super strong today !!! im still strong when im cry but today???? nah im was strong strong ! hehe

so ya im talk w him for like hour n den now i in bed. im gon fill out habit tracker, manifestation n shut my eye, dat p much da update diary. i am very very sad indivudal and im trying to get theough it befor i relapse relapse n dings go sour. i am jusr hoping that my stress will b taken away soon and dat i can finally have my wants and needs come to fruition. i love u diary. muwah muwah.

and im also want dino hoodie but cant find any one i likes :S hmmmph ):< but am will find one one day ! <3

╭┈─────── urs truly, ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈➤ sweetheart xx