#ignore this as I give myself a pep talk
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puffins-muffins · 2 months ago
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Control - The Beginning
Pairing: Jax Teller x Female!Reader Word Count: 7,300 Summary: You return to your hometown as a successful defense attorney to represent SAMCRO President Jax Teller, the former love of your life, in a murder trial. Years after your painful breakup, unresolved feelings resurface, and the lines between your professional duty and personal desires blur. Warnings: 18+ only please, cursing, cheating, mentions of parental death. A/N: So, this is my first Jax/SOA AU-ish fic. This establishes Jax & Reader's beginnings as teens/young adults. Feedback is so greatly appreciated! Beta'd by just myself, all mistakes are my own. I am also new to posting like this so apologies now if I've missed anything. We'll learn as we go. Please be kind.
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Jax Teller leaned against his bike in the Charming High School parking lot, his leather kutte draped over his broad shoulders. With a lean, muscular build, he exuded an aura of danger on two wheels. His sandy blonde hair was a tousled mess, falling just below his ears and framing his face in a way that highlighted his rebellious charm. One flash of his boyish, crooked grin sent girls swooning, but when you walked past, you didn’t even glance his way.
Curiosity piqued, Jax straightened up. “Hey,” he called, his voice smooth yet laced with cocky confidence. “You too good to say hi?”
You turned your head slightly, raising an eyebrow at him. “What?”
“I’m Jax Teller.” He starts. “You’re Jimmy’s daughter, aren’t you?” his eyes narrowing slightly as recognition dawned. “I saw you at the clubhouse a few weeks ago when your old man patched into our charter.”
You shrugged, barely reacting. “Yeah, that’s me. So what?”
Jax smirked, intrigued by how unimpressed you seemed. “Just surprised I haven’t seen you around more,” he said, stepping a little closer. “You’re not into the whole MC thing?”
You quickly glanced him up and down, a playful glint in your eye. “Not really my scene.” 
Jax tilted his head, genuinely interested. “That why you won’t give me the time of day, huh?”
You shrugged again, a smirk creeping onto your lips. “Maybe you’re just not as charming as you think you are.”
His grin widened. Most girls would’ve melted under his attention, but you? You gave as good as you got. He liked that. “You might be right, but that’s not going to stop me from trying, darlin’,” he replied, adding a flirtatious wink. “Can I take you somewhere?” he asked, gesturing toward his bike.
You scoffed, glancing down at his bike and then back at him, your tone teasing. “With you? On that? No thanks. I only ride with my dad.”
“Alright, Pep, another time then,” he said, his tone light and flirtatious, making you bite back a smile.
“Pep?” you asked, confusion furrowing your brow. 
“Pepper,” he explained, grinning widely. “You’re kind of spicy, and I like that. I think that nickname suits you.”
After rejecting his ride, he hopped on his bike, strapping on his helmet, ready to leave. “We’ll see how long it takes before you’re begging me to give you a ride.” he said, his voice dripping with innuendo. 
You flashed him a smirk, determination in your eyes. Cool, calm exterior. “Oh, don’t hold your breath, Teller.”
But inside, a rush of conflicting emotions surged through you. His words caused your stomach to flip. The easy banter was just a front; beneath it lay the undeniable pull between you, and you felt it tugging at your heart. As you watched him take off, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d be craving that ride sooner than you’d like to admit. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After that first encounter, it was like a slow, steady burn between you and Jax. At first, you made it a point to keep your distance, though it was impossible to ignore the magnetism between you. He’d always find an excuse to talk to you in the halls, leaning against lockers like he owned the damn place. You’d roll your eyes, give him sass, but there was always that spark — the kind that lit up the air around you both.
Then came the day he convinced you to ride with him. He pulled up to your house one Saturday afternoon, engine rumbling beneath him, and shot you that devil-may-care grin. “C’mon, Pep. You’ve been avoiding this long enough.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, one hand on your hip. “I told you, I don’t do rides, Teller.”
But there was a challenge in your voice, and Jax heard it loud and clear. He just revved the engine, making it purr, his gaze never leaving yours. God, he was cute. “One ride with me. You don’t like it; I’ll never ask again. Please.”
You didn’t respond right away, but the way your heart thumped in your chest betrayed you. Something about Jax made you want to push your own limits, and this was no different. Relenting, you grabbed the helmet he offered and swung your leg over the bike behind him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. His body was warm and solid beneath your hands, and you could feel his heartbeat through his leather.
The bike roared to life, and before you knew it, you were speeding down the back roads outside town. Wind whipped through your hair, the world a blur of color as the adrenaline pumped through your veins. Every time Jax took a sharp turn, your grip on him tightened, but soon you weren’t holding on out of fear, you were holding on because you didn’t want to let go. The rumble of the engine, the feel of the wind, the pure freedom - it was intoxicating. And the way Jax handled the bike, confident and effortless, only added to the rush.
He’d glance back at you every now and then, smirking when he saw you weren’t just holding on anymore; you were leaning into it, craving more of that wild thrill. And with every ride, it became more than just adrenaline. It was the way he made you feel when you were with him, completely invincible, like nothing in the world could touch you.
The weeks turned into months, and a montage of memories built up between you two. Sneaking out at night, the hum of his bike your only soundtrack as you wrapped yourself around him, laughing into the wind. Bonfires by the old quarry, where he’d pull you close with that cocky grin, his touch always gentle with you.  Late-night rides to nowhere, where you’d hold him a little tighter, whispering sarcastic comebacks into his ear even as your heart betrayed you, racing faster with every mile.
Then there were those unexpected moments, the quiet ones that caught you off guard. Like when you found yourselves perched on the roof of Teller-Morrow, cocooned in your own little world. In those instances, a different side of Jax emerged—one that was introspective and thoughtful. He would often pull out a notebook, jotting down his thoughts and feelings, exposing a vulnerability that stood in stark contrast to his tough exterior. As he lit a cigarette, you would lean into him, savoring the warmth radiating from his body. You’d tease him playfully, the banter punctuated by that same smile tugging at the corners of your lips. And when you thought he wasn’t paying attention, your gaze would linger on him just a little too long. 
It wasn’t long before you realized something had shifted. The thrill of the ride was more than just the speed and adrenaline. It was the way Jax’s hand would find yours when you weren’t paying attention, the way he’d look at you like you were the only thing that mattered. It was the sound of his laughter, the way his eyes softened when he saw you, the fire and sass he loved to tease but never tried to tame.
One night, after a long ride along the coast, the two of you sat by the edge of the cliff, the ocean crashing beneath you. Jax was beside you, leaning back on his hands, his gaze fixed on the horizon. “You know,” he said after a long stretch of silence, his voice low, “I didn’t think you’d ever actually give in.”
You turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “Give in to what?”
He grinned, that playful glint in his eyes. “To this. To riding with me. To… us.”
For a moment, you just looked at him, the sunset painting his features in warm, golden light. You couldn’t deny it anymore. The exhilaration wasn’t just from the rides, it was from him. 
“I guess you’re not the worst company,” you admitted, rolling your eyes even as you leaned into him, your head resting against his shoulder.
He chuckled softly, his arm slipping around your waist, pulling you closer. “Yeah, well, you’re my Pep. No one else like you.”
And that’s when you knew you had fallen, not just for the rides, but for the boy who had made you feel alive in ways you hadn’t expected. The boy who saw through your sarcasm, who called you Pepper because he liked your fire, and who made your heart race faster than any ride ever could.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Senior year was a whirlwind. While you were focused on your classes and keeping up with your honor roll status, Jax was slipping further away from school. He barely showed up anymore, spending most of his time at the garage or with the club. There were days when you’d catch glimpses of him, riding in with Opie, that familiar roar of their bikes, the MC patch on his back more of a constant presence than his textbooks.
You had always known Jax was different, more interested in bikes and the MC life than anything school had to offer. But now, it felt like he was already halfway out the door while you were still trying to figure out where the future would take you.
The contrast between the two of you was glaring. You were getting acceptance letters from universities across the country, each one congratulating you on your achievements. It felt surreal, but there was this gnawing ache every time you thought about leaving Charming — leaving him. You had spent the last couple of years with Jax as your constant. The idea of being somewhere without him felt like cutting away a part of yourself.
One afternoon, you met Jax at the garage after school, where he was elbow-deep in the engine of a Harley. He looked up when he heard you approach, wiping his hands on a rag, that familiar grin stretching across his face. “Hey, Pep,” he called, dropping the rag and walking toward you, pulling you in for a quick kiss. “How was your day? Ace another test?”
You rolled your eyes with a smile, nudging him playfully. “Actually, yeah. I got into Berkeley.”
Jax’s face lit up with pride. “Damn, look at you. That’s huge, babe.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, squeezing you affectionately.
You leaned into him, inhaling the familiar mix of leather, grease, and smoke. “Yeah… but it’s kinda far, Jax. And I don’t know if I want to go that far. I was thinking maybe San Fran or even Fresno. Somewhere closer.”
Jax looked at you, brow furrowing a bit as he leaned against the workbench. “You’re gonna throw away Berkeley for Charming? Why?”
You shifted, feeling the weight of your answer before you even said it. “Because of you,” you admitted, voice soft but steady. “I don’t want to be miles away from you, from everything I know, my dad. I want to study law, stay close, and—”
He cut you off with a kiss, pulling you closer, his hand resting at the back of your neck. When he pulled away, his eyes were soft but conflicted. “You’re too good for this place. You’ve got this big, bright future ahead of you, and I don’t want to be a reason you hold yourself back.”
You searched his face, trying to understand where this was coming from. “You’re not holding me back, Jax. I want to be near you. Law school, everything — I can do that here.”
He let out a long breath, running a hand through his long hair. “I don’t have a plan. Shit, I’m barely gonna graduate. I’ll probably work at the garage, help with the club… I don’t know where I’ll end up, but it’s not gonna be college, that’s for sure.”
You grabbed his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “I don’t care about that. I care about you. You don’t have to have some perfect plan. We’ve got time to figure things out.”
Jax smiled softly, but there was something behind it, a flicker of doubt, maybe even fear. He pulled you close, resting his forehead against yours. “You deserve more than just ‘figuring it out.’ You deserve everything. And I don’t know if I can give you that.”
You held his face in your hands, making him look at you. “You’ve always been enough for me, Jax. Always. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to.”
Jax only kissed you, this time slower, deeper, like he was holding on to something he was afraid to lose. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, his voice barely a whisper. “I could never tell you to go. I just… I don’t want to hold you back.”
You kissed him back softly, the noise of the garage fading into the background. “You won’t,” you promised.
But even as you said it, there was a part of you that knew things would never be that simple, not with the club, not with the way Jax was already tied to a world that didn’t leave room for easy choices. Still, in that moment, with his arms wrapped around you and the world at your feet, you believed that somehow, you could make it work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Two years into undergrad and everything felt different. The late-night rides and stolen moments that used to bring you and Jax together now seemed like distant memories. You were buried in textbooks and case studies, drowning in deadlines and long hours at your internship. The law classes were brutal and balancing your workload with everything else left you running on fumes. You’d chosen a college about an hour outside of Charming, far enough to give you space but close enough to keep Jax in your life.
But even with that proximity, things were… different. The once easy connection between you and Jax felt strained, pulled thin under the weight of time, distance, and the lives you were both living now.
You were sitting at a small table in a coffee shop near your campus, your laptop open and legal notes scattered everywhere. Your phone buzzed, a text from Jax lighting up the screen. Hey, been trying to call. Busy?
You stared at the message for a moment, guilt swirling in your chest. You had seen the missed calls earlier, but your study group had gone long, and then there was work. You typed out a quick reply: Yeah, sorry. Studying. You okay?
His response came fast. Yeah, just haven’t seen you in a while. Miss you.
That simple sentence hit harder than you expected. You missed him too, desperately. Lately, it felt like missing him was all you did. You weren’t the same girl who had spent nights riding on the back of his bike, laughing into the wind. Now, you were someone constantly pulled in a dozen directions, and Jax was being swallowed up by the club. He was taking on more responsibilities with the Sons, more rides, more late nights. And you knew what came with that lifestyle - the danger, the temptations. You’d heard about other women. Nothing concrete, but the rumors alone were enough to keep you awake at night.
You texted back, I miss you too. Maybe I can come by tomorrow?
Yeah. I’ll be at the clubhouse. Be good to see you.
The next day, you drove back to Charming, your stomach knotted with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. You parked outside the clubhouse, a place that used to feel like a second home, but now felt distant — like you didn’t quite belong in Jax’s world anymore. You walked inside and immediately saw him at the bar, his back turned as he talked with Opie.
“Hey,” you called, and he turned, that familiar smile lighting up his face as he saw you.
“Hey yourself!”  he said, walking over to wrap his arms around you, a tender kiss placed on your lips. The feel of him, solid and warm, instantly melted some of the tension inside you. For a moment, it felt like everything could be okay, like you were still those two kids who fell in love years ago. But as soon as he pulled away, reality slipped back in.
He led you back to his clubhouse room. Both of you sitting on the bed, his hand resting on your leg as if to anchor you both. You made small talk, catching up on each other’s lives, but the conversation felt stilted. There were gaps now, things unsaid between you, like the life he was leading in the club, the hours he spent with them, and the stories you heard but never wanted to ask about.
“School’s killing me,” you admitted. “I barely have time to breathe, let alone come back here. It’s just... a lot.”
Jax nodded, but you could see the distance in his eyes, the frustration he was trying to mask. “Yeah, you’ve been busy. I get it.”
You sighed, looking into his eyes. “Do you? Because it feels like… I don’t know, like we’re both living these separate lives. When’s the last time we spent more than an hour together?” There was always this heightened tension between you two now.
Jax’s jaw clenched, and he leaned back, rubbing a hand over his face. “I know, I know. But it’s not just you. I’ve got a lot going on too, with the garage, the club and everything…” he trails off.
“And what does ‘everything’ include?” you asked, your voice quieter, a trace of the hurt you’d been holding back slipping through.
He looked at you for a long moment, eyes shadowed with a mix of guilt and defensiveness. “What are you asking?”
You hesitated. This was the conversation you’d both been avoiding, but you couldn’t pretend anymore. “I’m asking if there’s someone else, Jax. I’m asking if the club has taken more than just your time.”
His expression hardened, but there was a flicker of something else beneath it - regret, maybe. “There’s no one else, Pep. Don’t be ridiculous.” He snapped. “But this life… it’s not easy. And you’re not here as much. I’m not saying that’s your fault, but it’s how it is.”
You nodded, blinking back the sting in your eyes. “Yeah, I get it. You’re right. We’re both busy, and it’s hard. But we’re growing apart, Jax. And I don’t know how to fix that.”
He reached for your hand, squeezing it gently. “I don’t want to lose you. But I don’t know how to fix it either.”
There it was — the raw truth neither of you had said out loud until now. You still loved each other, deeply, but it was like trying to hold on to something that kept slipping through your fingers. The connection that had once felt so unbreakable was fraying at the edges, and neither of you knew if you could tie it back together.
You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder, his arm wrapping around you like it always had. For now, in this moment, you could pretend that everything was okay. But deep down, you both knew that things had changed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another year had passed, and your relationship with Jax was hanging by a thread. Between the LSAT’s, your paralegal job, law school applications, you were constantly thinking about the future. A part of you still wanted that future to include Jax, despite all the cracks.
The tension between you two had been building for months. He’d invited you to a big MC party, but things between you were so fragile that you weren’t sure if going was the best thing. The law firm you worked for was in the middle of a huge case and you didn’t think you would be able to get away from the piles of research you had in front of you. Just as you were grappling with whether to go, your phone buzzed, Jax’s name lighting up across your screen.
Hey Pep, you coming to see me, or what? ;)
The pull between duty and heartache twisted in your chest. The case you were working on was critical, your future in law depended on it, and yet, a part of you longed to see him, to feel connected again. But you couldn’t ignore the creeping sense that you no longer fit in his world. The MC lifestyle felt more alien with every passing day.
Your fingers hovered over the keyboard. I’m slammed with work right now… not sure if I can make it.
The moment the message left your screen, a wave of anxiety hit you. Would he be disappointed? Relieved? Part of you wanted him to push back, to make you feel like you still mattered enough for him to want you there.
A few seconds passed, then your phone buzzed again. His response appeared almost immediately, as if he had been waiting for your message just as eagerly.
You’re always slammed with work. But this is important to me. Come on, it’s just one night. I miss you.
Your heart clenched. He was good at that, making you feel guilty for choosing anything that wasn’t him or the MC. You read the message repeatedly, feeling the weight of his words.
"I miss you."
It was what you wanted to hear, but at the same time, it left you more torn than before. School, the case, it all seemed so distant now. Your mind flickered back to the last time you'd seen him, the strained goodbye, the unsaid things between you two. Maybe one night wouldn't change anything, but what if it did?
The screen dimmed as your phone idled, but you couldn't take your eyes off the words, wondering if you could keep walking this fine line between your past and your future.
You typed out ‘I'll try’ and stared at it for a long moment, your thumb hovering over the send button. It felt like a compromise, a way to keep one foot in each world without fully committing to either. But as you sent it, a pit formed in your stomach. You knew deep down that it wasn’t just about this one night—it was about all the nights before and all the ones that could come after.
Your phone buzzed again almost immediately.
That's my girl. I’ll be waiting for you.
His words sent a familiar warmth through you, but there was something bittersweet about it too. His girl. You weren’t sure if you even belonged to him anymore. Jax had a way of making you feel like nothing had changed, like the years apart hadn’t put a canyon between who you were and who you’d both become.
You sighed, glancing at the stack of case files on your desk. The logical part of you said you should stay, focus on the case. But another part, the one that still longed for the way things used to be, pulled you towards him. Like always.
You decided to work for another hour, hoping the mountain of research would drown out the thoughts of Jax and then head to the party. But time slipped away from you and when you finally glanced at the clock, a surge of panic shot through you. You were hours behind. Cursing under your breath, you threw everything into your bag and bolted out of your dorm.
The drive to Charming was long and familiar, each mile pulling you back to a life you’d tried so hard to leave behind. You hadn’t heard from him; you knew you were hours later than you planned, and he probably thought you weren’t coming. You decided to surprise him at this point, to see his face when you showed up after all. Maybe you could feel like you still belonged in his world, even if only for one night.
The roar of motorcycles echoed faintly in the distance, a sound you knew all too well. You parked a little way down from the clubhouse, your heart hammering in your chest as you walked toward the sounds of the party.
The parking lot was crowded with bikes, the familiar smell of leather and gasoline hitting you as you approached the entrance. The music was loud, people spilled out from the doors, laughing and drinking. You weaved through them, feeling the weight of old eyes on you, some curious, others familiar.
As you stepped inside, the chaos of the party washed over you. It was everything you remembered - loud, wild, and unapologetically SAMCRO. You scanned the room, looking for him, the anticipation of seeing him again made your heart race.
As you navigated through the crowded room, the air thick with smoke, alcohol, and the unmistakable roar of laughter and loud voices, you couldn't help but notice the women, Crow-eaters as they were not so affectionately referred as, draped over several members. They were scantily clad, their bodies pressed close to the bikers, and you felt the sharp sting of being out of place. Their boldness, their ease in this world, it was a stark contrast to the careful, controlled way you lived your life now.
You tugged at the hem of your jacket, suddenly hyper-aware of the more conservative clothes you wore and the way you didn’t fit in. You were polished, buttoned-up, and in a crowd like this, it made you feel like an outsider. The club girls knew their place, their roles in the MC hierarchy clear, but you used to think you belonged here. Now it felt foreign, like you were intruding on a life that had moved on without you. You weren’t one of them, and as much as you tried to pretend this night was about reconnecting with Jax, the reality was painfully obvious. This just wasn’t your world.
When you finally spotted him, it wasn’t the reunion you imagined. There he was, in the corner, alone with another girl, a girl too close for comfort. She was laughing, her hand on his chest, and his expression wasn’t one of protest.
Your stomach dropped. You’d heard rumors swirling around for a while, whispers you hadn’t wanted to believe, but this? This was undeniable.
You stormed over, heart pounding. “What the hell, Jax?”
He looked up, startled and shocked, and you saw the guilt flash across his face. The girl backed off immediately, sensing the tension, but it was too late. The damage was done.
“Pep, wait—” he started, but you weren’t having it.
“Wait for what? For you to finish whatever this is?” You could hear the anger and hurt in your voice, and it took everything not to lose it right there in front of everyone.
Jax stood, frustration mixing with his own guilt. “Shit, Babe - It’s not what it looks like. She’s no one, I swear—”
“Then why was she all over you?” You could feel your hands trembling, the betrayal sharp in your chest. “Do you even care anymore, Jax? Or am I just holding on to something that doesn’t exist?”
He stepped closer, grabbing your arm gently. “Of course I care. Pep, you know I love you and I’m not screwing around.”
You wanted to believe him, but that image of him with her was now burned into your mind. Still, as you stared into his eyes, the same eyes that had looked at you with love for years, you found yourself softening. Maybe it was out of habit, maybe it was out of hope, but you nodded, letting out a shaky breath, not wanting to do this with an audience. “Jax, this can’t happen again.”
He nodded quickly, pulling you into his arms. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll do better. I swear.”
After the confrontation, he had come to you, apologizing, trying to explain away the situation as a misunderstanding, a mistake. And in that moment, you wanted so badly to believe him, to let the history between you two be enough to erase the pain of what you’d seen.
You stayed and he held you close that night, whispering promises that felt hollow. His arms around you were familiar, but they no longer felt like home. You could feel the space between you two, even as he lay beside you, his breath steady as he fell asleep.
You stared at the ceiling, your mind racing. Everything about this night, this life was a far cry from what you had imagined your future would look like. It didn’t matter how many times he apologized or promised to change. Something between you had shifted, and no amount of love was going to fix it. You knew deep down, as you lay there in the dark, that this had to be the end.
It wasn’t just about the girl he flirted with or the way he had laughed with her like you didn’t exist. It was about the path you were on, the future you were fighting for. It was about who Jax had become and who you had grown into. Jax had chosen this life, and in exchange, never fully choosing you. The club would always come first, and that realization cut deeper than anything else.
Your heart felt heavy as you got dressed quietly, careful not to wake him. The thought of leaving without saying goodbye tore at you, but you knew this had to be done. You had to walk away before the weight of staying crushed you.
You leaned down, placing a soft kiss on his lips, your hand resting on the side of his face, memorizing the feel of him one last time. His lips moved slightly under yours, and for a moment, you thought he might wake, but he didn’t. Part of you was relieved, saying goodbye right now would have been too hard.
Standing over him, you took a deep breath, knowing this might be the last time you’d ever see him like this, your Jax - peaceful, vulnerable. Your eyes lingered on him before you turned and walked out of the room, your heart breaking with every step.
The drive out of Charming felt endless, every mile putting more distance between you and the life you once knew. It gutted you to leave him behind, but deep down, you knew it was the only way to save yourself. You had outgrown this world, and it was time to let go of the one person you thought you’d never lose. As you merged onto the highway, the sun barely beginning to rise, you wiped away the tears that had silently fallen. This was the end, and even though it hurt like hell, you knew it was the right choice.
It had been a few weeks since that night and the heaviness in your heart had only deepened. You spent countless hours wrestling with the decision to end things with Jax. The memories of laughter and love felt like distant echoes, overshadowed by the harsh reality of your lives drifting apart. Tonight, you’d finally decided you were going to have the talk - the one that would sever the last ties binding you to him.
As you gathered your things, the clutter of books and notes on your desk only reminded you of the life you were trying to build apart from him. The stack of law books felt like a barrier, protecting you from the emotional storm you knew was about to hit. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the words you would say.
Just as you were about to walk out, a firm knock echoed through your small dorm. You paused, quizzical. You weren’t expecting anyone, and a twinge of anxiety twisted in your stomach.
“Hey,” came the gruff voice from the other side, and your heart dropped. It was Jax.
You opened the door, and your breath caught in your throat at the sight of him. He looked pale, his normally vibrant eyes clouded with something heavy. His usual confident demeanor was replaced by an unsettling vulnerability, and it sent a jolt of panic through you.
“Jax? What’s wrong?”
He stepped inside, his presence both comforting and terrifying. “I—” His voice cracked, and he took a moment, visibly struggling to find the right words. “It’s your dad. He… he’s gone.”
The world around you seemed to tilt on its axis. “What do you mean, gone?” you stammered, heart racing. “What happened?”
His gaze dropped, and he rubbed the back of his neck, a gesture that made your stomach churn. “There was a deal that went south. He got caught in the crossfire. They got him to the hospital, but it was too late.”
Shock flooded your body, a cold wave that left you feeling numb. “No. No, this can’t be happening.” You stumbled back, your vision blurring as tears threatened to spill over. Your father had always been your rock, the steady hand guiding you through life, it had always been just the two of you. “What do you mean caught in the crossfire? He was just… he was fine. I just saw him!”
Jax stepped closer, his expression pained, his own tears threatening to spill over. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
You shook your head, refusing to accept the reality he was laying before you. “You don’t understand. This is… I can’t… I don’t even know how to process this.” The words tumbled out, a desperate plea for understanding that fell flat.
He reached for your arm; his grip firm yet gentle. “Please, let me help you. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
The warmth of his touch ignited a swirl of conflicting emotions within you. He was the last person you wanted to turn to, yet in that moment, the desperation for comfort overpowered everything else. You felt so fragile, and the thought of facing this tragedy without him was daunting.
He cupped your face and in that moment, it was like the ground dropped out from under you. The room spun, and suddenly, everything—the fight, the tension, even your plans to leave Jax, seemed insignificant. Your dad was dead, and the club, the same club that had taken so much from you with Jax, had taken him too.
You collapsed into Jax’s arms, your tears soaking his shirt as you clung to him. And just like that, all your plans shattered. You weren’t thinking about law school anymore. You weren’t even thinking about breaking up with him. All you could think about was the fact that your dad was gone, and Jax was the only one who could understand the weight of that loss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You and Jax made it through your father’s funeral, now bound together by grief, but even in the depths of your sorrow, it was a fragile connection. He had become your lifeline, holding you close as you navigated the crushing waves of loss. The club surrounded you, providing support in ways you hadn’t expected, ensuring that you wanted for nothing as you buried yourself in your studies during your last year of undergrad. You moved through life on autopilot, the world around you fading into a blur as you focused on school, pretending that everything would somehow work itself out.
As the months passed, acceptance letters from several schools filled your mailbox, a testament to your hard work and determination. But the joy of those accomplishments felt overshadowed by the grief that still clung to you like a heavy fog. Each letter was a reminder of a future you were hesitant to embrace. You were torn, unsure of where to go. Part of you wanted to stay close to Jax, to the familiarity of Charming, while another part yearned for a fresh start, a chance to break free from everything that haunted you.
But while you clung to Jax for comfort, the distance between you was palpable. You knew he was there, physically present, yet your relationship had become stagnant, a shell of what it once was. Jax provided a familiar solace, but it wasn’t enough to bridge the gap that had formed. The love that had once burned brightly now flickered like a candle, struggling against the grief that surrounded you both.
Everything came to a head one night at the clubhouse. As you paused outside Jax’s door, your hand froze on the doorknob, heart racing at the faint sound of laughter inside - his laughter. But he wasn’t alone. With a deep breath, you pushed the door open, and everything seemed to freeze around you.
There he was, sitting on the edge of the bed, shirt half unbuttoned, lips locked with some woman you didn’t recognize. Her laughter mixed with his, a sound that shattered your world once again. Time felt suspended as the reality of the moment set in.
“Jax!” The sound of your voice echoed painfully in the room, causing their laughter to halt abruptly. His eyes widened in shock, but they quickly filled with shame as he processed your presence. The woman beside him blinked, confusion dancing in her eyes, but you ignored her, shaking with betrayal as you stared at him. You didn’t even recognize him anymore.
“Shit! Pep, I—” he started, his voice thick with regret, but the words evaporated in the tension that filled the room.
Anger boiled within you, raw and relentless, as you stepped forward, heart racing. “You said you loved me! You promised you’d do better!”
He shifted uncomfortably, guilt etching deeper lines on his face. He couldn’t meet your gaze, knowing he had fucked up royally. The realization of what he had done hung heavily in the air, a small part of him recognizing that he had sabotaged your relationship out of fear. Fear of feeling stifled, of the stagnant love that no longer felt like home to him either.
When he reached out to touch you, desperation tinged with shame, you yelled. “Don’t! Don’t fucking touch me!” The slap was swift, fueled by raw emotion, landing with a force that surprised even you. The sound echoed in the room, sharp and definitive, as Jax's head snapped to the side, his face flushed with the imprint of your anger. The room seemed to hold its breath, and everything inside you unraveled.
The warmth and safety Jax once provided had turned cold. You could see the regret in his eyes, but it wasn’t enough to undo this betrayal.
That’s when Opie appeared, his expression a mix of sadness and empathy. He stood silently, a protective barrier between you and the pain. Without saying a word, he placed a hand on your shoulder, grounding you as everything inside you threatened to collapse. Jax remained quiet, his shame on full display, knowing he had lost something precious but feeling powerless to reclaim it.
“I’ll take care of her,” Opie said quietly, his voice steady. He didn’t need to say more; Jax knew better than to push. The hurt in his eyes was evident, but it was too late for apologies.
“Pep, please,” Jax finally managed, his voice hoarse, but it lacked the strength of conviction. His eyes were desperate, but beneath that desperation lay a deep-rooted acknowledgment of his failures, the realization that he had successfully pushed you away.
“Stop,” you snapped, tears streaming down your cheeks, anger morphing into deep-seated sorrow.
He stood there, paralyzed, unable to find the words that could ever justify this.
Opie stepped forward, his presence a comforting weight, trying to navigate you out of the room. “Come on. Let’s get you out of here.”
You turned away from Jax, feeling the ache of loss settle in your chest like a stone. Only a silent farewell passing between you. It was done. You and Jax were over.
As Opie led you away, the weight of everything crashed down on you. You had lost your father, and now, Jax too – his love that once brought you to life felt distant, unreachable. The noise of the clubhouse disappeared into the background, leaving you in a world where the only constant was your grief, and you didn’t know how to move forward.
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Leaving Charming felt like tearing a piece of your heart out. You had chosen the best law school you could, deliberately picking one as far away from California as possible. It was a decision that both terrified and relieved you. You needed to escape the memories, the grief, and, most of all, Jax.
As the day of your departure drew closer, the reality of it settled in, leaving you with an emptiness that clashed with your determination. You packed your things meticulously, each item a reminder of what you were leaving behind. But as much as you wanted to flee from your past, a part of you still ached for closure.
So, you agreed to meet Jax for a final goodbye, knowing it was something you both needed, even if it felt hollow. You chose a secluded spot in the park where you used to share lazy afternoons, a place where laughter once rang in the air. But today, the atmosphere was heavy with unspoken words and lingering sadness.
Jax was already there when you arrived, leaning against his bike, arms crossed, looking every bit the man you'd fallen for. His eyes locked on yours, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. The silence felt thick, filled with all the things you couldn’t say anymore.
“So, this is it,” Jax finally said, his voice quieter than usual. There was no edge, no teasing, only rawness.
You nodded, unsure of how to respond without unraveling. “Yeah, it is.”
He looked down, running a hand through his hair, the same way he always did when he didn’t know what to say. “I get why you’re going. You need to do this.” Jax replied, his eyes searching yours for something - understanding, perhaps, or forgiveness. “It’s just… hard to believe you won’t be here.”
You swallowed, your heart tightening in your chest. All you could muster was a simple nod of understanding.
For a solitary moment, it was like time rewound, and you were back to being the two of you, before everything got complicated. Before the weight of the club, the violence, and the grief. It would have been so easy to fall into his arms, but you held yourself still, knowing that this moment wasn’t about holding on, it was about letting go.
Jax straightened, stepping closer, his blue eyes still searching yours. “I wanted this life for us, you know? A real future.” His voice broke, just slightly, and it hit you harder than you expected.
“I know,” you whispered, your own emotions threatening to spill over. “But that’s not where we’re headed anymore.”
He reached for your hand, his grip firm but tender, as if it was the last connection keeping you from drifting apart. “Just… promise me one thing.”
You looked at him, your throat tight with unshed tears. “What?”
“Don’t forget about me, alright? Even if I’m just a memory, don’t forget.”
The weight of his words settled deep inside you. You could promise that, but you weren’t sure how much of Jax would be left in you once you stepped onto that plane. Still, you nodded, because in that moment, it was the only thing you could give him.
“Goodbye, Jax.”
His jaw clenched, and he pulled you into a hug, strong and secure. The scent of leather, smoke, and something distinctly Jax, washed over you, making you dizzy with the realization that this was truly the end. And when he let go, you didn’t look back.
As you walked away, each step felt heavier than the last, there was no turning around. Not now. You had to let him go, even if part of you never would.
Part 2 - The Reunion
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passengerprincessblog · 15 days ago
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“Too Rough”~ Max Verstappen short
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WARNINGS: SMUT! NSFW! Mean max, degrading? Rough blowjob.
Summary: After a brutal press conference where doubts about his championship prospects are thrown at him, Max storms back to his room, seething with frustration. When his anger spills over onto Y/N, she stands her ground, igniting a tense, charged moment between them.
The door slammed shut, and Max stormed into the room, his expression thunderous. I barely had a chance to stand before his voice cut through the silence like a knife.
“Unbelievable,” he spat, pacing back and forth, hands flexing with barely restrained fury. “They actually think I’d lose to Lando? Lando.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes as if the very thought was a personal insult. “I’m the best out there, and they’re acting like I’m already washed up.”
I could see the anger twisting his features, his jaw clenched so tightly it was a wonder he hadn’t cracked a tooth. I stepped forward, cautiously, reaching out. “Max, it’s just press talk. You know how they are. Don’t let it get to you—”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” he snapped, his tone sharp enough to make me pull back. His eyes, usually so bright and clear, were dark and narrowed, focusing on me with an intensity that felt almost hostile. “They’re talking to me like I’m a nobody, and now you’re here, acting like I need some… some kind of pep talk.” His words were biting, dripping with disdain.
I swallowed, feeling a sting from his harsh tone but choosing to ignore it. “I just thought maybe you needed someone to be here for you, that’s all. You don’t have to carry it alone, Max.”
He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Alone? You don’t get it, do you? I’m not some charity case that needs your comfort. I’m Max Verstappen. I don’t need anyone, especially not someone telling me to ‘not let it get to me.’ If you’re not going to say something useful, maybe you should just go.”
The words cut deeper than I’d expected, each syllable sharper than the last. But I stayed silent, letting him vent, knowing this wasn’t really about me. I’d seen him like this before, on the worst days, when nothing went according to his plan. I knew he’d push everyone away if it meant keeping his pride intact.
Still, it didn’t make it hurt any less. I took a small breath and steadied myself, speaking softly. “I’m not going anywhere, Max. Even if you think you don’t need me.”
He just glared at me, and I could feel the weight of his frustration directed fully on me now. His eyes narrowed, scrutinizing me like I was another one of his problems. I looked at him, hoping he’d see that I wasn’t backing down, but that only seemed to irritate him more.
“What?” he snapped, his voice rough and unyielding. “What? What’s wrong with you? Don’t look at me like that.”
A flicker of defensiveness sparked in me, and I crossed my arms, taking a small step back. “I’m not even doing anything, Max.”
His jaw clenched tighter, and his stare hardened, a dangerous glint in his eyes. He took a step toward me, his presence overwhelming as he loomed closer. “Watch it,” he warned, his voice low and dripping with a threat that sent a shiver down my spine. “I’ll make you regret opening that mouth.”
The tension was thick, charged with a mixture of anger and something else I couldn’t quite place. My breath caught as his gaze bore into mine, challenging me to either stand my ground or step back. But I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. Not tonight.
“Fine,” I replied softly, my voice steady. “Do whatever you want, Max.”
Before I could process what was happening, his hand shot out, gripping my arm and pulling me to him, our faces mere inches apart. His eyes darkened, and the intensity in his gaze sent a jolt through me.
“Excuse me?” he whispered, his tone dangerously low. “Watch your tone. Do you know who I am?” His grip tightened just slightly, grounding me in place. “Do I need to fix that mouth?”
My heart raced, my breath shallow as his words hung in the air, thick and laced with a challenge I wasn’t sure I wanted to meet
Without warning, he pushed me backwards, his hands gripping my shoulders and shoving me down onto my knees. The cold tile floor was hard against my skin as I knelt before him, looking up at his towering figure.
"Look at you," he sneered, his gaze raking over my body. "On your knees where you belong. Maybe this is what you need to remember your place."
His hands moved to his belt, undoing it with practiced ease. The sound of his zipper lowering made my heart race, and I watched as he pulled out his already hard cock, stroking it slowly.
"Open your mouth," he commanded, his voice leaving no room for argument. "And don't you dare make me ask twice."
I hesitated for a moment, my mind racing. But the look in his eyes told me that disobeying would only make things worse. With trembling hands, I reached out and wrapped my fingers around his shaft, feeling the hot, velvety skin beneath my touch.
"That's better," he purred, a cruel smile playing on his lips. "Now put that mouth to good use. Show me how sorry you are for pissing me off."
I leaned forward, parting my lips and taking him into my mouth. The taste of him filled my senses. I worked my tongue along his length, trying to please him, to make up for my earlier comment.
But it wasn't enough. His hand fisted in my hair, yanking my head back roughly. "Is this all you've got?" he taunted, his voice dripping with disdain. "I thought you were supposed to be good at this. Guess I was wrong."
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I didn't dare protest. Instead, I took him deeper, relaxing my throat and letting him slide further into my mouth.
His grip on my hair tightened, his fingers tangling in the strands as he held me in place. "That's it," he growled, his hips thrusting forward, forcing himself deeper into my mouth. "Take it all, like the good little slut you are."
I gagged slightly, my throat constricting around his thick length. But I didn't fight it, instead focusing on pleasing him, on making up for my earlier mistake. My tongue swirled around his shaft, tracing the veins and ridges, eliciting a low groan from his lips.
"Fuck, that's better," he panted, his voice strained with pleasure. "Maybe you're not completely useless after all."
I felt a surge of pride at his words, even as they stung. I hollowed my cheeks, sucking harder, my head bobbing up and down his length. My hands gripped his thighs, nails digging into his skin as I worked him over.
"Yeah, just like that," he hissed, his hips rocking faster now, fucking my face with abandon. "Keep going, don't stop until I tell you to."
I complied, my jaw aching from the strain, my lips stretched wide around his girth. Saliva dripped down my chin, pooling on the floor beneath us. The wet, obscene sounds of my sucking filled the room, mingling with his grunts and moans.
"Goddamn, your mouth feels so good," he groaned, his head falling back in ecstasy. "I should keep you on your knees like this all day, every day. Would you like that, baby? "
I whimpered around his cock, the degrading words sending a shameful thrill through me. I knew it was wrong, knew that I shouldn't enjoy being treated this way.
After a few more moments, I felt his movements become erratic, his breathing growing ragged. With a final, powerful thrust, he buried himself deep in my throat, his cock pulsing as he found his release. I swallowed quickly, desperate to take everything he gave me, not wanting to waste a single drop.
He held me there for a long moment, his grip on my hair loosening slightly as he caught his breath. Then, with a soft curse, he pulled away, his spent cock slipping from between my lips.
I looked up at him, my vision blurry, my face flushed and tear-streaked. He stared down at me, his expression softening just a fraction. One hand reached out, gently stroking my hair, almost tenderly.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice gruff. "I was too rough, maybe. I let my anger get the best of me."
There was a hint of regret in his words, but it was overshadowed by a condescending note, as if he were patting me on the head, reassuring a child.
He helped me to my feet, his hands lingering on my hips for a moment before he kisses me softly.
"Go clean yourself up," he ordered, his voice back to its usual brusque tone.
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Note: welp 😅🚨💀
Lmk if you want more! Liking and following let’s me know you want more writings! 💜
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semperama · 3 months ago
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AHHHHHH will you write me buddie for 56 "it brings out your eyes"????????? 😃😃😃
“It brings out your eyes.”
----
"Okay, which one?" Buck asks, holding up two different t-shirts, one sky blue and one salmon-y pink.
Eddie sighs and scrubs his hands over his face. He's been perched on the end of Buck's bed for what feels like an hour, watching him fuss with his hair and then rifle through his closet. "I don't know, Buck." He lets his gaze drift down Buck's body for what feels like the millionth time, trying to ignore the way it gets fractionally harder to breathe each time he does it. "The blue, I guess. It brings out your eyes."
Buck snorts. "I'm going to a club. No one'll be able to see what color my eyes are." He tilts his head to the side and grins. "Not that they'll be looking anyway."
"Oh my God." Eddie looks up at the ceiling and says a silent prayer for mercy. "This is why I told you I wouldn't be much help. What do I know about clubs?" Much less gay clubs.
"Come on, man." Buck tosses the salmon shirt down on the bed and starts peeling the blue one off the hanger. "I'm freaking out, okay? Are you sure you can't come with me?"
Can't? Maybe that was a lie. With Chris gone, he has no good excuse to stay home these days. But the last thing he needs is to watch Buck get hit on by random strangers--especially not if alcohol is going to be involved. He wouldn't even have come over to help Buck get ready if he hadn't begged him. It'll be the first time I've gone out since me and Tommy broke up, Eddie. I could really use a pep talk.
"I don't even understand why you have to go," Eddie says. He watches Buck pull on the shirt, tries not to linger too long on how it stretches around his biceps, over his chest. "Is this really a good way to meet guys? At your age?"
Buck gasps with exaggerated affront. "At my age?"
Eddie raises an eyebrow at him. "Last time we went out with Hen and Karen you puked in my front lawn and then complained about your hangover for two days."
"I did a bad job pacing myself that night," Buck says, his mouth twisted into what could almost be a pout. "Karen holds her alcohol better than I do. And anyway, they're older than us, so if they can go out--"
"They go out like twice a year. Together. As a couple. Not to meet people."
Buck's expression darkens. "Yeah, well. I'm not part of a couple, so." Okay. So Eddie fucked up with that one. He sighs, but before he can apologize, Buck spreads his arms out and swivels his torso a little. "Just...how do I look?"
He looks good enough to fucking eat, of course. The shirt hugs him in all the right places. His jeans make his ass look great. He must have found some new product for his hair, because his curls are perfect and soft-looking, begging to be touched. Eddie wants to drag him in by the belt loops and beg him to stay.
"You look great, Buck," he says quietly. Because Buck asked him for a pep talk, and so far he's failed the assignment. The least he can do is try to turn it around. The least he can do is be a good friend, not a selfish, jealous asshole. "Seriously, you're going to have guys falling at your feet."
The smile that creeps its way across Buck's face make it all worth it. He ducks his head, shrugs his shoulders up, and Eddie is stabbed by a longing so intense he's halfway to his feet before he realizes what he's doing and stops himself.
"I'll let you get going then," he says, shoving his hands in his pockets do he doesn't give in to the temptation to touch. "Let me know how it goes?"
"Yeah," Buck says. His gaze is searching Eddie's face. For what, Eddie doesn't know. "Yeah, of course."
Eddie makes it to the door, breath painful and ragged in his chest, before he hears Buck's feet pounding down the stairs behind him. He turns to look, to ask if there was something else, but he barely opens his mouth before Buck is there, one hand on Eddie's neck, the other wrapping around his waist, pulling him in so close it knocks the air out of his lungs.
Then, Buck is kissing him. Desperate press of lips, tongue licking into Eddie's shocked mouth. It's an electric shock, white heat spreading through him, painfully good.
But then as soon as it started, it's over, and Buck is staring at him, wide-eyed. Eddie wants to dive into that blue gaze and drown there.
"I'm sorry," Buck says. "I just--I had to try. I had to know, before I--"
"Buck." His fingers are curled in the back of Buck's shirt, and he curls them tighter, presses Buck closer. "Don't go," he says. "Stay here. With me."
"Okay," Buck says breathlessly. He looks like he has no idea what's happening, and Eddie knows the feeling, but they can talk later, figure it all out later.
"Good," Eddie says, and pushes his fingers into Buck's hair, pulls their mouths together again.
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lost-inthe-v0id · 7 months ago
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Young Snape x Reader prompt/idea? Idk
I can’t really write so this is a scenario I made up that I just word vomited
I’ve always had a crush on snapes young actor since I was like 8 so this is js something I made up when I would daydream
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Student!Reader is a ravenclaw pure blood with no strong opinions on wizards/witches with no magic parents and a lot of ravenclaw and slytherin friends
Student!Reader and Student!Snape meet on the train and click right away but don’t hang out at school as much because Lily told Snape she didn’t like reader. They’re still acquaintances until that changes due to Lily getting closer to James and Severus getting a class with Reader. Little by little they slowly start getting closer together.
Reader would like to spend more time with him but he feels a responsibility to stay with Lily all the time since she was the only one who cared to stick around with him. Reader doesn’t like the way Lily treats him and the fact she’s all buddy buddy with his bullies
Finally it’s all solidified when Severus and Lily have an argument their 4th or 5th and he calls her a mudblood. Lily starts to ignore Severus not only everytime he goes to apologize but anytime he comes near her at all. She starts to stand by and just watch James and his gang bully Snape and sometimes laughs.
Reader finds Severus crying and comforts him. Gives him a pep talk about how wonderful he is and how people make mistakes and no one deserves to be treated like he is. Finally after that they start hanging out everyday. Severus becomes good friends with Readers friends but they still usually only hang out with each other.
Reader tells people in Ravenclaw and slytherine how Lily treated Severus and people stopped talking to her, gossiping about her even. Since Reader is a pure blood that’s part of an affluent family she grew up around other affluent family kids. Overall reader was not only friends with higher influence kids but also very respected among them due to her kind and understanding nature. So a lot of these people started to look down on Lily.
Finally it all comes together when Snape and Reader are near a tree talking one day when he starts telling Reader how much he doesn’t deserve her and kind of confessing and rambling when Reader kisses him. After that they start dating, the don’t try to hide it either. They hold hands ALL the time, sometimes you find the pair snogging, other times you find Reader laying her head on his shoulder.
Lily doesn’t like this, she liked the fact Severus liked her and the attention she would get from him on top of that people she use to talk to won’t even look at her now. She tries to talk to him saying she’s ready to hear him out but by then Severus couldn’t really give a shit.
Idrk about the rest
I know not a lot of people like Snape like that so I’m just posting this for myself not really expecting anyone to see this lol
If someone does end up making a full fledged fic plz credit me :<
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summerclementine27 · 4 months ago
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Meet Me in The Hallway 🌷 pt.2
Summary: Y/N finally admits her feelings to Mr. Styles, feeling a wave of honesty as they have a drink together to celebrate their debate team’s win. However, what Y/N doesn’t expect is that he feels the same or the escalation of events that happens when he admits to his feelings.
Warnings: smut, argument, and fluff.
Word count: 14.5k
(sorry it’s long but there is a happy ending if you stop at the line and ignore the rest)
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We made it to the semi-finals, and the pressure was palpable. Every debate round brought us closer to the goal, and I could feel the weight of my team’s expectations on my shoulders. I wanted us to win, not just for the glory, but because I believed in our hard work and dedication.
Amidst the stress and excitement, my mind often wandered to Harry. There was an undeniable chemistry between us, a spark that flickered in our shared glances and lingering touches. It was thrilling and confusing all at once, adding an extra layer of intensity to an already charged atmosphere. As we prepared for the next debate, I couldn’t help but hope that our connection would somehow bring us luck, pushing us to triumph in the competition and maybe, just maybe, in our budding relationship.
I started to truly see potential for this after we won the first few rounds, when Harry hugged me tightly for the first time, rather than his usual awkward side hugs, his enthusiasm matching my own. His embrace felt warm and reassuring, a silent promise that we were in this together. The way he looked at me, with pride and something else I couldn't quite define, made my heart race. It was in those moments of victory, amidst the cheers of our teammates, that the chemistry between us became impossible to ignore. His hand would linger on my back, his eyes would lock with mine a little too long, and every shared smile felt like a secret.
The debate team gathered in the hotel conference room, the air thick with anticipation. As president, it was my job to rally the team, but today, I wanted to give Anika, our vice president, a chance to lead. She had worked tirelessly alongside me, and I knew she had the passion and skills to motivate us all.
"Alright team," I began, "today's the semi-finals, and we've fought hard to get here. But I'm not the one who's going to lead the debate or give the pep talk today. Anika, take it away."
Anika stepped forward, a mix of surprise and determination in her eyes. "Thanks, Y/N," she said. "We've all worked incredibly hard to reach this point, and I couldn't be prouder of each and every one of you. Remember, it's not just about winning. It's about representing our university with pride, about supporting each other, and about showing everyone the power of our ideas. Let's go out there and give it our all!"
The team responded with cheers and words of encouragement, their spirits visibly lifted. As they filed out of the room to prepare, Harry stayed behind, his eyes fixed on me. Once we were alone, he approached me with a curious look.
"Did you do that as the president, or as Anika's friend?" he asked, his tone both gentle and probing. "Are you feeling less confident about today?"
I shook my head, meeting his gaze steadily. "How could I feel that way when you’ve been by my side, supporting me? I believe in myself, in this team we’ve trained, and I genuinely believe Anika can do this."
Harry smiled, but there was a flicker of something deeper in his eyes. "You’ve got a way of inspiring confidence in others, Y/N," he said softly. Then, his expression softened further as he noticed a strand of hair on my face. "Hold still," he murmured, reaching out to gently tuck the stray hair behind my ear.
I laughed softly, feeling a rush of warmth. "Oh, are you fixing me up now?"
"Yeah," he replied with a playful grin. "We have each other's backs, right? Do I look okay?"
I glanced over him, my eyes lingering a bit longer than necessary. "You look more than okay, except your tie is a little loose."
Feeling an inexplicable pull to be closer to him, I stepped forward and adjusted his tie, my fingers brushing against his chest. I let my hand rest there for a moment too long, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath my palm.
Harry's eyes darkened slightly, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Y/N," he said, his breath warm against my cheek. "You’re quite the motivator."
A shiver ran down my spine at the intensity of his gaze. "Well, Mr. Styles," I whispered back, my hand still on his chest. "If we win tonight, maybe we should do something to celebrate. How is that for motivation” I teased, knowing the influence I had on him now.
“I don’t know, Y/N. All the teams are having a party on their floor, don’t you want to join them instead of hanging out with your old professor”
“Hey you’re not that old, your maybe ten years older than we are. Plus I would rather escape the noise.” He didn’t seem convinced so I felt compelled to change his mind. “A few drinks could do us some good." I tried to add without sounding too desperate.
He chuckled softly, the sound vibrating through his chest. "Is that your professional opinion, Madam President?"
I smiled, my heart racing. "Absolutely," I said, reluctantly stepping back. "Now let's go out there and win this."
As we left the room, the playful tension between us was palpable, making me feel both exhilarated and grounded.
The room buzzed with anticipation as the semi-final debate was about to begin. The stage was set, with the opposing teams seated at their respective tables, their expressions a mix of determination and nerves. Our team, representing our university, was positioned confidently, with Anika at the helm as the lead debater. I stood to the side, trying to maintain my composure, knowing that Harry was somewhere in the audience, his presence a constant source of support and encouragement.
Anika opened the debate with a strong introduction, her voice clear and authoritative. She outlined our position on the topic, highlighting the key points we would be addressing. As she spoke, I could see the judges nodding, their interest piqued by her articulate delivery.
"Our stance on the issue of renewable energy is not only based on environmental necessity but also on economic viability," Anika stated, her eyes scanning the room. "We believe that investing in renewable resources is the only sustainable path forward."
The opposing team responded, presenting their arguments with equal fervor. They challenged our points, bringing up counterarguments that were well-researched and thought-provoking. The back-and-forth exchange was intense, each side trying to outmaneuver the other with logic and evidence.
I watched Anika closely, admiring her composure under pressure. She deftly countered their arguments, pointing out flaws and inconsistencies with a calm confidence that was impressive. The rest of our team supported her with well-timed interjections, reinforcing our position with additional data and examples.
As the debate progressed, the atmosphere grew more charged. The stakes were high, and every point made felt like a small victory or a setback. Harry’s eyes met mine briefly from across the room, and I drew strength from his steady gaze. He believed in us, and that belief was contagious.
In the final round, Anika delivered a powerful closing statement. "Our commitment to renewable energy is not just a policy choice; it's a moral imperative. We owe it to future generations to act responsibly and sustainably. The evidence is clear, and the time to act is now."
The room fell silent as the judges deliberated. The tension was palpable, each of us holding our breath, waiting for the verdict. Finally, the head judge stood up and announced the results.
"The winner of this semi-final debate, based on the strength of their arguments, clarity of presentation, and overall impact, is...Manchester University!"
A wave of relief and elation washed over me. The team erupted in cheers, hugging each other in celebration. Anika beamed, her hard work and dedication rewarded. I glanced towards Harry, who was clapping enthusiastically, his eyes shining with pride.
We gathered our things and began to exit the stage, the exhilaration of our victory still coursing through us. As the team dispersed, Harry made his way towards me, his smile warm and genuine.
"You did it, Y/N," he said, his voice filled with admiration. "You led them to victory."
I smiled back, feeling a rush of gratitude and affection. "We did it, Harry. Together."
He reached out, his hand brushing mine. "So, about that celebration tonight..."
I nodded, the excitement of the win mingling with the promise of a quieter, more intimate celebration. "I think we’ve earned it."
Harry and I agreed to meet in the hotel bar later that evening. The entire debate team was planning a celebration on our floor, but the idea of escaping the noise for a quieter moment together was far more appealing
I arrived at the bar first, feeling a mix of anticipation and nerves. I had changed into a neat black dress that hugged my figure modestly, paired with black tights and a burgundy cardigan for a touch of color. I had clipped half of my hair up, hoping it looked as polished as I felt. The bar was dimly lit, creating an intimate atmosphere, and I chose a corner stool where we could talk without interruption.
A few minutes later, Harry walked in, looking effortlessly stylish in a fitted navy blue blazer over a crisp white shirt, paired with dark jeans. His hair was slightly tousled, and he wore a charming smile as I noticed him, in the middle of trying to take off my cardigan in the heated up space.
“Here” he said as he helped tear away the fabric from my arms. He draped it over my bar stool chair as he placed a hand on my back and gave my cheek the most subtle kiss, his lips barely touching mine though I felt the heat of his cheek.
"Y/N," he greeted before I could thank him, taking the stool next to mine. "You look amazing."
"Thank you, Harry. You clean up pretty well yourself," I replied with a grin.
He laughed softly, signaling the bartender. "What are you having?"
"I think I'll start with a glass of red wine," I said.
He nodded, ordering a glass of wine for me and a whiskey for himself. As we waited for our drinks, he turned to me, his eyes reflecting the warm light of the bar.
"So, how come you’re celebrating with me and not your friends?" he asked, genuinely curious. “Not a party girl?”
“Oh, you’d be surprised,” I replied with a playful grin.
“Would I?” He raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued.
“Well, not too surprised, I suppose,” I said, making him smile that smile that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. “I go to Uni parties often, once a week maybe, or twice if there's an occasion. Less if I'm busy or tired.”
“Hmm, I pegged you for the quiet type. Do you dance?”
“I try, but my years of ballroom dancing proved to be useless,” I admitted with a laugh.
“It often happens that way,” he joked. “It seems you had a strict upbringing—cursive, ballroom dancing. What else can you do?”
I took a sip of my wine, considering his question. “Well, let’s see. I can play the piano, though I’m a bit rusty. I also learned how to paint, mostly landscapes and still life. Oh, and I can bake a mean batch of cookies.”
Harry chuckled, clearly amused. “A woman of many talents. I’m impressed.”
“What about you, Styles?” I asked, turning the tables. “What hidden talents do you have?”
He leaned back, swirling his whiskey thoughtfully. “Well, I’m not much of a dancer, but I can play a decent game of football. I also dabble in guitar playing, though I’m no rock star. And I can make a pretty good cup of tea, if I do say so myself.”
“Guitar, huh? Maybe you can play something for me one day,” I suggested, feeling a warmth spread through me at the thought.
“Maybe I will,” he said with a soft smile. “But only if you promise to dance to it, ballroom style.”
I laughed, the tension between us easing into a comfortable camaraderie. “Deal. Just don’t laugh if I trip over my own feet.”
“I would never,” he said, his tone serious but eyes twinkling with mischief. “Besides, I’m sure you’re a wonderful dancer.”
“So, can you sing too, or just the guitar?” I asked, shy at his compliment but beaming at his words, nonetheless. I was fearful I was coming off as too excited but I couldn’t play it cool if I tried. Besides, I think he liked it.
Harry’s eyes sparkled. “Yes, I do sing. I enjoy it a lot, though I wouldn’t call it a talent. I like Karaoke” he said as though compensating for the former part of his sentence.
“Do you know about the karaoke bar near the School of Literature?” I asked
Harry nodded, a playful glint in his eye. “Yes but you’re forgetting one very important thing, Y/N.”
“And what’s that?” I asked, intrigued.
“It’s always packed with students,” he teased.
I laughed. “Hey, I’m a student too, you know.”
“You’re different,” Harry said, his voice taking on a softer, more thoughtful tone. “There’s something special about you. I’m not sure how to explain it, but it’s not the same.”
I felt a thrill at his words. “So are you.” I said as he hummed quietly.
As the night went on, the conversation between Harry and me flowed effortlessly, shifting from lighthearted banter to deeper, more personal topics.
“And your parents are divorced too?” he asked, his tone casual but curious. After sharing that his mum still lived in Holmes Chapel, Manchester, and that he visited her on weekends when he wasn’t working, he continued, “I don’t mean to pry, but you mentioned how you visit your mum in London and your dad in—”
“—In various places,” I finished for him, smiling. “Yes, they are divorced. I guess I’ve gotten double the vacations out of it.” I chuckled, leaning in a bit.
“That must be nice, where have you been?”
“My mum loves to take me to places rich in culture, like Bali or Thailand, but we usually end up spending most of our time cooped up in a resort. Not that I’m complaining; the food is incredible. But, I guess you can say my mum and I have our differences”
“Hm” Harry said, nodding. “And your dad? You take more after him I suppose”
I smiled, considering his question. “I guess you could say that. My dad’s got this adventurous spirit, always seeking out new experiences. He’s the one who took me on those trips to Morocco and Kenya. He’s the kind of person who’s always on the move, exploring different cultures and cuisines.”
Harry’s eyes lit up with interest. “Sounds like you inherited the best from both worlds”
I tilted my head, intrigued. “How do you mean?”
“Well,” Harry began, leaning in slightly, “it seems like you’ve got this adventurous side from your dad, always seeking new experiences, and a taste for the finer things from your mum. It’s like you’ve got the curiosity and zest for life from one side a sort of classy stillness in your disposition that I suppose is from your mum. It makes sense why you’re so dynamic and interesting.”
I smiled, feeling a warm glow from his words. “I guess I never really thought of it that way. But I suppose it does make sense.”
Harry’s gaze lingered on me, a playful glint in his eye. “I think it’s a great combination. It makes you someone incredibly interesting while still being elegant and poised.”
I laughed softly, touched by his thoughtful observation. “Thanks, Harry. That makes me sound like – well its quite the compliment. Changes my mind about what I inherited from my mum.”
“Is that why you didn’t stay in London for university? Because of your differences with your mum?”
“Yeah, something like that,” I replied with a laugh. “I always tried to get as far away as possible without raising too many eyebrows. I even took a gap year to study French in Paris, which my dad was actually quite enthusiastic about.”
“Wait I wouldn’t have guessed you took a gap year, you were born in 2005?”
“2004,” I corrected with a smile. “I’m a bit older than you might think.” I teased though I still worried the 10 year age gap would feel more pronounced once I mentioned something about it.
Harry’s interest was piqued. “And you can speak French now?”
“Yes, fluently,” I replied, trying to hide my pride.
“Say something in French for me,” he prompted with a teasing glint in his eye.
I hesitated, feeling a twinge of embarrassment. “Oh, Harry, I don’t think I should, My accent is not the best and-.”
“Come on,” he urged with a playful nudge.
I took a deep breath, my cheeks warming as I said, “Je t’aime beaucoup, Harry, plus que tu ne pensées.”
Harry’s eyes widened in surprise. “What did you say?”
I bit my lip, deciding to be honest. “I told you that I like you very much, Harry. More than you think.”
Harry looked at me, his gaze intense. “Do you really mean that?”
I met his eyes, my voice steady. “I wouldn’t say it if it I didn’t.”
Harry’s gaze softened, his brow furrowing slightly as he struggled to find the right words. “Y/N, I need to be honest with you,” he said, his voice earnest. “I feel the same way you do. I am in awe of you, truly. And I have found this adoration for you outside of academic contexts. You mean so much to me and you don’t even know it” he laughed. “I find myself thinking about you day and night and I want to be more.
My heart pounded in my chest, the weight of his words sinking in. “You mean more than just as my professor, don’t you?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper, the nervousness in my tone palpable.
Harry’s eyes searched mine, a mixture of vulnerability and hope in his gaze. “Way more than just your professor,” he said, his hands reaching out to hold mine gently. “I want you. I want you in ways I don’t think you’re ready to hear coming from my mouth. But I would never forgive myself if I forced my feelings onto you.” He said nervously, sweat appearing on his forehead.
The warmth of his touch sent a shiver through me, and I held his hands tightly, trying to steady my racing heart and with it, calm him down. “I’ve been feeling the same way for a while now, and I’ve been thinking of you too. Thinking of things – inappropriate things. and you’re my professor, I mean” I admitted, my voice trembling with a mix of excitement and anxiety. “I was always afraid of how it might complicate things between us.”
Harry’s gaze was tender as he brushed a strand of hair from my cheek. “It doesn’t have to be complicated, Y/N,” he said softly, his voice filled with warmth. “We can figure this out together.”
I felt a flutter in my chest at his touch, the electricity between us palpable. His hand lingered on my cheek, his thumb gently caressing my skin. “I’ve been so confused about how to handle this,” I admitted, my voice trembling slightly. “But hearing you say that makes me feel so much better.”
His eyes held a mix of vulnerability and determination as he leaned in closer. “I care about you, Y/N, more than just as a colleague or a student. I want to have you, I want to feel you. In every way I can. I want to savor every bit of you.” He said, slowly closing the space between us.
As his lips brushed mine, the kiss started off soft and sweet, a gentle exploration of feelings that had been building between us. But as the seconds passed, the kiss deepened, becoming more urgent and passionate. I could feel his need and longing, and it ignited a fire within me. I responded with equal fervor, losing myself in the intensity of the moment.
Suddenly, the kiss became overwhelming. I pulled away slightly, searching his eyes for some clarity. The passion that had ignited between us made me feel both exhilarated and slightly apprehensive.
“Harry,” I whispered, leaning my forehead against his. “Maybe we should find somewhere more private. Otherwise, someone might see that you’re kissing your student.”
His eyes were filled with understanding and affection as he nodded. “You’re right. But between you and me, you are so much more than my student,” he said softly, his voice filled with sincerity.
“I think I’m starting to understand that” I replied, my heart racing as I intertwined my fingers with his.
We walked hand-in-hand to the elevator, the anticipation building with each step. The elevator doors slid open, and as soon as we were inside, Harry’s lips met mine again, this time with an urgency that mirrored my own. The kiss was fierce and passionate, our bodies pressed together in a way that made the world outside disappear.
When the elevator reached our floor, we stumbled out, still wrapped up in each other. We made our way quickly to Harry’s room, our connection more intense than ever. As we reached his door, he unlocked it and pulled me inside, his hands never leaving mine.
In the privacy of his room, we continued to kiss, our passion for each other evident in every touch and embrace.
Our kisses were feverish and unrelenting, our breaths mingling as we paused briefly to catch our breath.
“I’ve thought about this,” he murmured between kisses, his lips lingering on mine.
“Yeah?” I responded, my voice breathless.
“Mhm,” he said, his hands sliding down to my waist, pulling me closer.
“What did you think about?” I asked, my fingers tangled in his hair.
“I thought about finally getting to kiss those lips,” he whispered, his breath warm against my skin. “About holding you like this, my hands on your waist, your hips, in your hair. About having you against me like this.”
“So have I,” I admitted, my heart racing.
“You have?” he asked, his lips brushing against mine, his eyes locked onto mine.
“Of course I have,” I breathed. “All those times we were alone in your office, I was wishing in my head that you would kiss me. That you would even undress me.”
“And what then?” he asked, his voice low and filled with anticipation.
I looked into his eyes, the intensity of the moment consuming me. “And then… and then you would do things to me.” His expression softened but his eyes darkened as they filled with lust.
“You really want that?” he searched my eyes to make sure
“Harry, I want more than anything to feel you, in every way possible.”
“Then I'm ready to give you everything you want. Just say the words,” he whispered, his voice thick with desire.
“Fuck me, Harry,” I said, watching a groan escape from his parted lips before they returned to mine, more urgent than ever.
“Jump,” he ordered. When I did, he lifted me effortlessly, allowing me to wrap my legs around him. My cardigan slipped to the floor as my hands found their way into his hair and around his neck.
As he lay me down on his bed, a rush of anticipation surged through me. He lifted me slightly to unzip my dress, slipping it down my body before releasing me back to the bed. I barely noticed where he discarded it before his hungry lips were on my neck again, trailing down to my breasts with sloppy kisses.
He began by kissing my cleavage, then wrapped his arms around me to strip off my bra. An eager gasp escaped his lips as he finally unveiled my breasts. With one hand on my left tit, he kissed the right one passionately, my nipple caught in his teeth. Despite the urgency, his touch remained soft as he licked and teased my sensitivity.
Finally, he looked up, his gaze softened entirely. “Y/N,” he said breathlessly, as if words were failing him.
“I,” he began, lips on the top of my stomach, just under my breasts, giving me a wet kiss.
“Am,” he continued, kissing just below the first one.
“So,” another kiss.
“In,” yet another kiss.
“Awe,” he said, finally looking up at my face, which rested on the mountain of hotel pillows that decorated his bed. “Of you, my angel.”
He finished, his fingertips grazing the inside of my black sheer leggings. Slowly, he pulled them down, lifting himself until he was almost upright to tear them away from my legs. I lifted my feet to help, and he tossed them aside, his eyes never leaving mine.
The moment hung between us, electric and tender. His hands roamed my body, exploring every inch with reverence and desire. As he leaned down, his lips met mine again, the kiss deepening with each passing second. The intensity of our connection was undeniable, and I knew that whatever happened next would be unforgettable.
I used the chance to lift myself up as well, unbuckling his belt. He removed his shirt to help me, revealing a toned and tattooed chest. By the time he was done, I was working on his pants, which he slid off the bed briefly to take off along with his shoes and socks. When I finally saw him, in nothing but briefs, I was struck by the sight of him.
For once, all his tattoos were on full display. I had briefly seen a few on his lower arms and, of course, the cross on the back of his hand, but never would I have guessed he was covered in ink. Swallows on his chest, a butterfly on his stomach, and an array of intricate designs and symbols covered his skin, telling stories I longed to hear.
When he noticed me staring, he smiled. "Do you like it?" he asked.
"I love it," I replied, my hand moving to his chest, feeling it heave under my touch. He returned to kiss me before lowering himself to the only clothed part of my body: my pussy.
"I'm going to take this off now, baby," he said, placing a finger on my clothed clit, feeling my wetness drench the thin black fabric. "And you're going to be a good girl for me, right?"
"Yes. Yes, Harry, I will be a good girl for you," I promised, my voice trembling with anticipation.
"Good. Now, you may squirm, and God knows how much I want to hear your pretty little moans. I've been dreaming of you moaning out my name, but you can't cum unless I tell you to. Understood?"
"Yes, Harry."
"Good girl," he said before placing a final kiss on the clothed fabric, another on the inside of my thigh, before pulling off my panties at once. The air shocked the area, making me gasp as he looked at me with a mixture of hunger and admiration.
He began by giving soft kisses on my clit, making me squirm just as he said it would. His hands gripped my thighs, and before I knew it, my legs were over his shoulders. I gasped and moaned at the feeling of his lips against me, my hands gripping the sheets.
“Harry, oh my god,” I gasped, my body arching towards him.
“Mmm, you taste so good, love,” he murmured, his voice sending shivers down my spine.
I felt him reach a hand up to mine, which was clenching the sheets. “Take off my rings for me, love,” he said, referring to the rings on his right ring finger and middle finger.
I did as he asked, my fingers trembling as I slid the rings off. He looked up from where his tongue was working magic on my pussy and simply said, “Atta girl,” which weirdly worked well with his accent.
His voice got thicker as his fingers returned to my wetness. “How many can you take?” he asked.
“I’m not sure,” I said, breathless. “Only two, probably.”
He laughed knowingly. “You’re going to need much more than that to prepare for my dick, angel.”
“Do whatever you want with me, Harry, I just want to feel you,” I said, knowing that if he took off his briefs at that moment, I wouldn’t be able to hold myself from sucking him off, wanting to taste every bit of him.
Returning to the moment, I realized Harry was here, actually fucking me, and before I knew it, I felt two of his fingers inside my pussy, already hitting my G-spot carefully. I moaned, my hips moving against him.
“Fuck, Harry,” I whimpered, the sensation overwhelming me.
“You like that, don’t you?” he said, his voice a low growl. “Just wait until it’s my cock inside you.”
“Yes, please, I want it,” I begged, my body trembling with need.
He smirked, his fingers continuing their relentless assault on my G-spot. “Patience, love. I want to make sure you’re ready for me.”
I moaned louder, my hips moving desperately against his hand. “I’m ready, Harry, please.”
“Not yet, baby. I need to make you come first,” he said, his thumb brushing against my clit as his fingers worked inside me. The combination was too much, and I felt my orgasm building rapidly.
“Harry, I’m so close,” I gasped, my body tensing. “please” I begged, not knowing when he would let me come.
“That’s it, love. Come for me,” he whispered, his voice filled with command and desire.
With a final, skilled movement of his fingers and thumb, my body shattered around him, my orgasm crashing through me in waves. I screamed his name, my hips bucking wildly as I rode out the pleasure.
As I came down from my high, he slowly withdrew his fingers, licking them clean with a satisfied grin. “You taste even better than I imagined,” he said, his eyes dark with lust.
I pulled him up to kiss him, tasting myself on his lips. “Now, Harry, I need you inside me,” I said, my voice desperate and needy.
“Patience, love,” he murmured against my lips. “ I was just inside you” he teased as though he was truly oblivious to how desperate I was for his lips. “I’m going to make this worth the wait, sweetheart.”
He slowly removed his boxers, making me gasp at his length which sprang up against his stomach as soon as it was released, hard and aching for me. I reveled in the idea that I got him this hard, for me, and as though he could read my thoughts he said, "Look what you do to me, angel. Are you proud of how hard you've made your professor?"
I nodded, my eyes wide with a mix of awe and desire. “So proud,” I whispered, reaching out to touch him. His cock twitched under my fingers, and he let out a low groan.
“Good girl,” he murmured, his voice thick with lust. He leaned down to kiss me, his lips capturing mine in a heated embrace. I could feel the tension between us, the anticipation building with every touch.
I kept stroking him as we kissed, trying to distract myself from how much I wanted to put my mouth on his dick. Once I felt his precum drip over his entire length, I used it as a lubricant to stroke him harder, my grip tightening. He groaned into my mouth, his hips bucking slightly in response.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathed, his voice strained with pleasure. “You’re driving me crazy.”
I smiled against his lips, feeling a surge of confidence. “Is that so?” I teased with an unknown confidence, my strokes becoming more deliberate, teasing the sensitive head before sliding down to the base.
“Yes,” he gasped, his hands gripping my hips as if to steady himself. “You have no idea.”
I moved my mouth to his neck, kissing and nibbling on his skin as I continued to work him with my hand. His breath hitched, and I felt a shiver run through his body.
“Harry,” I whispered, my lips brushing against his ear. “I want to taste you.”
He let out a deep groan, his eyes darkening with desire. “You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” I interrupted, my voice firm yet sultry. “Please, let me.”
He looked at me, his gaze intense and filled with lust. “Okay, angel,” he murmured, his hand gently caressing my cheek. “Anything you want.
I slid down his body, my lips trailing kisses along his chest and stomach. When I reached his hips, I looked up at him as he sat down for me, my eyes locking with his as I slowly placed kisses on his sensitive head before I finally took him into my mouth. His cock twitched against my tongue, and he let out a shaky breath.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he groaned, his hand tangling in my hair. “You’re perfect.”
I moaned around him, the vibrations eliciting another deep groan from him. I took him deeper, my tongue swirling around his length as I bobbed my head. His grip on my hair tightened, guiding me as I pleasured him.
I glanced up at him, seeing the raw need in his eyes. His chest heaved with each breath, and his lips were slightly parted, his expression was one of pure ecstasy. I increased my pace, my hand working in tandem with my mouth as I used the other to grasp his balls, bringing him closer to the edge.
“Y/N,” he gasped, his voice trembling. “I’m so close.”
I pulled back slightly, my hand continuing to stroke him. “I want you to come for me, Harry,” I whispered, my voice filled with desire. “Please, I want to taste you.”
His eyes darkened even more, and with a final, shuddering breath, he willed himself to tear my hand away.
“Fuck,” he panted, his hand gently caressing my cheek as I looked up at him with teary eyes. “As much as I love what you’re doing, and the thought of coming in that beautiful dirty mouth that I never thought could do such obscene things, I don’t want to come until I am inside of you, my angel.”
He gently threw me back until my head hit the pillows again. “What a gorgeous sight, baby.” He moaned as he loomed over me, hands on my hips already.
His touch was both gentle and demanding, and I felt myself climbing higher and higher, the pleasure overwhelming. "Harry, please," I begged, my voice a breathless whisper. "I need you."
He looked up, his eyes filled with lust and affection. "I need you too, love," he said softly. "But remember, you have to be patient for me, my girl." He murmured as he reached a hand towards his nightstand, opening a drawer quickly to grab something.
I nodded, biting my lip to stifle my moans as he continued to tease me with his fingers. The anticipation was maddening, and I felt like I was on the edge of a precipice, waiting to fall.
When I moved my head to see what he was doing, I realized he was grabbing a condom, bringing it to his mouth as he used his teeth to unpackage the elastic. The sight sent a new wave of desire through me, my anticipation heightening with every second. He rolled the condom on with practiced ease, his eyes never leaving mine.
Finally, he moved back up my body, his cock pressing against my entrance. "Are you ready, angel?" he asked, his voice thick with desire.
"Yes, Harry," I whispered, my hands gripping his shoulders. "Please."
He entered me slowly, stretching me in a way that felt both painful and exquisite. I gasped, my nails digging into his skin as he filled me completely. "You feel so good," he groaned, his forehead resting against mine. "So tight and perfect."
"Move, Harry," I urged, my body aching for more. "Please."
He began to thrust, each movement deliberate and powerful, driving me closer and closer to another orgasm.
His movements grew more urgent, his breathing ragged as he drove us both closer to the edge. "You’re incredible," he murmured, his lips brushing against my ear.
Every thrust sent waves of pleasure through my body, making me arch against him. "Harry," I moaned, my voice trembling with need.
"That's it, baby," he panted, his lips trailing down to my neck, kissing and nibbling at the sensitive skin. "You’re doing so fucking well. Taking my cock so well my angel." He soothed me.
I could feel the coil tightening in my lower abdomen, the pressure building with each powerful thrust. "Harry, I'm so close," I whimpered, my hands moving to grip his back, my fingers digging into his muscles.
"Come for me, angel," he whispered, his voice low and commanding. "I want to feel you come around me."
His words sent me over the edge. My body tensed, my toes curling as my orgasm ripped through me, my walls clenching around him.
"That's it, Y/N," he groaned, his pace quickening as he chased his own release. "You're so perfect."
I could feel his thrusts becoming more erratic, his breathing harsher. "Harry," I whispered, my hands moving to cradle his face. "Come for me."
With a final, deep thrust, he buried himself inside me, his body shuddering as he found his release. "Fuck, Y/N," he moaned, his forehead resting against mine as he rode out his orgasm.
We stayed like that for a moment, our bodies intertwined, our breathing slowly returning to normal. He pulled out gently, discarding the condom before collapsing next to me on the bed.
“You're incredible,” he said again, his hand reaching out to brush a strand of hair from my face.
I smiled, feeling a warmth spread through me at his words. “So are you, Harry. I can’t believe I was able to take you. You’re the biggest I’ve ever had.”
Harry's eyes widened slightly, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Is that so? Glad to hear I’m making an impression,” he said, his tone both teasing and affectionate.
I chuckled, feeling a mix of satisfaction and shyness. “Definitely making an impression,” I confirmed, my fingers lightly tracing patterns on his chest. “It was more than I expected, but in the best way.”
Harry raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I know, I was overwhelmed too, your body is fucking incredible, you know that? Must be all that yoga.” He joked.
I laughed softly, playfully swatting his shoulder. “Oh, so you’re saying I should thank my yoga instructor for this?”
He nodded with a smirk. “Absolutely. And I have to say, your pussy is as phenomenal as your body. It’s been a pleasure getting to know it up close.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t hide my smile. “Glad I could meet your high standards. You’re not too shabby yourself, Mr. Styles.” I said, surprised to earn a faint huff from his pretty pink lips.
The mention of his name clearly had an impact on him as it made his eyes darken with a mix of desire and amusement. He pulled me closer, his voice a low, heated whisper. “Oh, you’re playing with fire now, using my full name like that. It seems you’ve got a knack for turning me on.”
I grinned, feeling a playful thrill at his reaction. “Just giving you a taste of your own medicine, Mr. Styles.”
Harry’s hand slid down to rest on my lower back, his touch igniting a fire between us. “Well, I must say, you’ve got quite the talent for it. You’re making it very hard for me to keep my composure.”
I leaned in, my lips brushing against his ear as I whispered, “You’ve got me all worked up, Harry. It’s only fair you return the favor.”
He grinned, his fingers lightly tracing my arm. “Well, I’m glad you think so. I’d hate to disappoint after all the anticipation.”
I leaned in closer, teasing him. “So, was I everything you hoped for? Or do you have any complaints?”
Harry chuckled, his lips brushing against my ear. “No complaints at all. Everything was perfect. In fact, I think I need to get to know that body of yours even better. Maybe a few more yoga sessions are in order.”
I playfully raised an eyebrow. “Is that an invitation for more intimate… workouts?”
“Definitely,” he said, his voice full of promise. “And trust me, I’m looking forward to every single session.”
We both laughed, the light-hearted banter easing any lingering tension. Harry’s hand continued to caress my back, his touch tender and affectionate. I snuggled closer, feeling the steady beat of his heart against my cheek.
“So, any other compliments I should know about?” I asked, looking up at him with a teasing smile.
Harry grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Oh, just that you’re absolutely incredible. And I’m one lucky guy to have you here with me.”
I felt a rush of warmth at his words, and I leaned in to kiss him softly. “Well, I’m pretty lucky, too. I’m glad we finally got this chance.”
Harry’s gaze softened, and he brushed a strand of hair from my face. “Me too, angel. Let’s stay like this for a while. No rush, no pressure. Just us.”
“Yes,” I agreed, my fingers tracing the lines of his tattoos. “Let’s. Maybe I’ll finally get to know the stories behind all these tattoos.”
Harry’s eyes lit up with a mix of amusement and intrigue. “Oh, you’re in for quite the storytelling session,” he said, his tone teasing. “But we don’t have enough time tonight. I already kept you up and you need your beauty sleep.” He joked, as if the final tournament weren’t tomorrow, or I guess, today seeing as it was almost two in the morning.”
We lay there, entwined, our breaths slowly evening out as the intensity of the moment faded. His hands gently caressed my back, his touch light and soothing. I could feel his warmth radiating against me, a comforting presence that made me feel safe and cherished.
After a few moments of peaceful silence, he shifted slightly, reaching for a nearby box of tissues. He carefully cleaned me up, his movements tender and considerate. “I hope that was okay,” he murmured again, his eyes searching mine with a hint of concern. I worried that maybe regret was setting in.
“It was more than okay,” I replied, my voice soft and filled with affection. “It was amazing.”
He smiled, his eyes lighting up with a mix of relief and happiness. “I’m glad,” he said, his hand brushing along my arm in a soothing gesture. And so was I, realizing that he wasn’t feeling guilty after all.
He kissed my forehead gently, his lips lingering in a tender touch. “You’re something else, Y/N,” he said, his voice filled with sincerity. “I never expected to do this.”
I snuggled closer to him, my head resting on his chest. “Neither did I,” I confessed. “But I’m really glad we did.
He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close as if afraid to let go. “Me too,” he whispered. “I want to make sure you’re okay.” He said again, clearly anxious about my feelings.
“I am,” I reassured him, my fingers tracing small patterns on his chest. “Just enjoying being here with you.”
He sighed contentedly, his hand gently stroking my hair. “Now get some sleep, angel” He finally said.
“Okay,” I murmured, my eyes already growing heavy. “But just one more kiss before we fall asleep?”
He grinned, his eyes twinkling with affection. “I think I can manage that.”
He leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to my lips. It was a sweet promise of the connection we shared, a reminder of the intimacy that had brought us together. As we settled into a comfortable embrace, the quiet hum of the city outside became a soothing lullaby.
With his arms securely around me, I closed my eyes, feeling a profound sense of contentment. In Harry’s embrace, I felt like I had found a piece of home, a place where I belonged.
—————— ——————————————————————
I didn’t feel myself falling asleep; it washed over me so naturally, like a gentle tide pulling me into a serene, dreamless rest. Normally, I had to fantasize about Harry until I was too exhausted to stay awake, but tonight was different. I was enveloped in a cocoon of comfort and warmth, his arms around me making me feel safe and cherished. It was as if nothing else mattered.
When I awoke, it was to an empty bed. The space beside me was cold, and a pang of worry shot through me. I usually never got up for anything in the middle of the night, but the absence of his warmth made me uneasy. I slipped out from under the covers, searching for my underwear and bra, but they were nowhere to be found. I ended up pulling on one of Harry’s shirts, the fabric hanging loosely on me, and padded across the cold floor, shivering slightly as I walked toward the balcony.
As I approached the sliding glass doors, I heard Harry’s voice, raised in frustration. “Yes, I know that, Horan,” he spat into the phone. “Don’t you think I’m aware of the code of conduct? Maybe I haven’t been a professor here as long as you have, but I know the rules.”
I paused, hidden behind the door, trying to piece together the conversation. Harry’s tone was defensive, his words filled with exasperation. “I didn’t call you to gloat. You know I didn’t.” he said but I couldn’t piece together what professor Niall Horan was saying on the other end of the line. Until:
“I guess I just called you to talk about it. I am freaking out mate.” He said, making me shudder at what he might think of me now, at how things will be.
“Yes, Niall of coursed I asked her. Before and after.” He said like he was hurrying to defend himself in between Niall’s questions. “No I didn’t tell her that. There was no reason to, but she knew. She knew she could leave and that we could stop but trust me it takes two and she was definitely as complicit as I was.” He said before being silent for a long time.
Finally: “I was not trying to be a dickhead, okay? I didn’t think about the power dynamics but either way, she gets good marks, she wouldn’t have been scared to tell me no. Either way what’s done is done. I already slept with her. What is there to do now? I can’t undo what I did.”
My heart sank as I listened, the realization of the situation hitting me with a sharp sting. I turned to walk away, feeling ashamed, scared, and hurt. The cold floor beneath my feet seemed to echo my anxiety until my knee cracked loudly, causing me to wince. Harry’s voice abruptly cut off as he heard the sound, and he quickly hung up the phone.
“Y/N?” he called, his voice tinged with concern as he turned toward me. I stayed silent, not meeting his gaze. “Did you hear that?”
I nodded, feeling a surge of emotion. “Yes, I heard.”
Without saying a word, I began to remove his shirt, searching desperately for my bra. Harry stepped forward, his expression a mixture of frustration and regret. “I didn’t mean for you to find out like this. I just... I didn’t know how to explain.”
“Was this just a one-night stand?” I asked, my voice trembling. “Did you only want me for tonight, and now you’re done?”
“No, it’s not like that,” Harry said quickly. “If it were, I wouldn’t have let you sleep here. I care about you, Y/N.”
“Oh, really?” I snapped, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “How noble of you, Harry. Thanks for letting me sleep here after sleeping with me.” I said because it was not even up for discussion, of course I was going to sleep with him, it was the least we could do. Not just as a favor to me – as to avoid stumbling back to my room, half-dressed at 2AM, but as a way to spend time together, to hold each other as a non-verbal agreement that we were content and happy and there for each other.
His face fell, but he tried to maintain his composure. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just... I didn’t plan this. It’s more complicated than that.”
“Complicated?” I echoed, feeling tears well up. “Is that what this was all about? The dynamics, my beauty, or maybe because I’m smart? Were you just tempted?”
Harry stepped closer, his voice softer. “No, it’s not just lust. I’ve developed real feelings for you. It’s not just about physical attraction.”
“But then why were you talking to Niall like that?” I asked, my voice breaking. “What, now that the novelty is gone, you’re going to leave too?”
“Do you think you’re just a hookup to me?” Harry asked, his eyes widening in hurt.
“I don’t know,” I replied, my voice filled with anguish. “But if you’re planning on ignoring me and leaving me completely, what does that make me? How do I go back to class now? How do we continue our friendship or even our professional relationship if I’m just a source of guilt for you?”
I knew I was unreasonable. That he was probably feeling the weight of his job and the complexities of managing a relationship with a student, but the fear of the unknown possibilities, one of them being him getting fired or penalized in some way, worried me. And I was more worried that under the pressure of a job he is so passionate about, he would be willing to let me go. And that would make me feel like a one night stand, because everything would fade away after a tipsy night together.
Harry’s face was a mixture of pain and resolve. “You’re not just a source of guilt. I genuinely care about you, Y/N. I just need to figure out how to make things right.”
I shook my head, feeling overwhelmed. “So I am a source of guilt? Among other things but still, you’re guilty?” I said searching for an expression amidst his anxious disposition. “I need more than just words, Harry. I need to know where we stand. I need to understand if this is something real or if I’m just a temporary distraction.”
His expression softened, and he reached out to touch my arm gently. “I want to make this work. I truly do. But I understand if you need time to process everything.”
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “I just need clarity. Right now, all I have is confusion and hurt.”
Harry nodded, his eyes filled with a mix of regret and hope. “I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that I’m committed to this, to us. Just give me a chance.”
We stood there, the weight of the situation hanging heavy between us. The cold air from the balcony seemed to mirror the chill in my heart, but there was a flicker of warmth, a hope that maybe, despite everything, we could find a way through this tangled mess of emotions and uncertainty.
“Look, it’s late,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions. “And we’re both tired. Let’s just get some sleep.”
I went to grab my clothes, feeling the weight of the night’s events pressing heavily on me. As I began slipping on my dress, Harry’s eyes followed me, his expression shifting from confusion to concern when he saw that I wasn’t just putting on my underwear but was dressing fully.
“Are you leaving?” he asked, his voice tinged with worry.
“It’s best if I sleep in my room,” I replied, trying to sound as composed as possible. “I need some space to clear my head.”
Harry’s face fell, a mix of guilt and distress evident in his features. “Y/N, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you.”
I could see the pent-up emotion in his eyes, the frustration and regret that mirrored my own feelings. “I know, Harry. But I need some time to think. This isn’t something we can just gloss over.”
He reached out, his hand hovering in the air before he dropped it, clearly conflicted. “Please, don’t go. I want to work this out.”
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “Look, I’ll leave you my spare key card. You can come to my room tomorrow morning before we meet for practice.”
Harry nodded, his eyes reflecting a mix of relief and apprehension. “I will. I promise. I’ll be there.”
I walked to the small table where I had left the key card and handed it to him. “Goodnight, Harry.”
As I turned to leave, he reached out and gently touched my arm. “Please, don’t think that this changes how I feel about you.”
I gave him a small, weary smile, feeling the ache of the night’s events. “I know. We’ll talk more in the morning.”
I made my way back to my room, my mind racing with thoughts and questions about the future. When I finally lay down in my bed, the silence was almost deafening. The warmth and safety I had felt earlier were now replaced with a deep sense of uncertainty. Despite the exhaustion tugging at my eyelids, sleep was elusive, my mind replaying the night’s events over and over.
I woke up feeling the heavy weight of last night’s unresolved tension pressing down on me. The room was quiet, save for the soft hum of the heater. I forced myself out of bed, the events of the previous night replaying in my mind. I needed to start my day, even if it felt impossible.
I stepped into the shower, the hot water cascading over me, trying to wash away the lingering anxiety and uncertainty. I let the steam envelop me, hoping it would clear my thoughts. As I dried off and began to style my hair, I focused on the routine as a distraction, meticulously curling and arranging each strand, applying makeup with steady hands despite the tumultuous emotions beneath.
I ordered a breakfast bowl from room service, hoping that the normalcy of breakfast might ease the sting. I even thought of Harry and how he liked his breakfast: eggs and black coffee. I ordered those for him, too, placing them beside my own meal, hoping he’d show up and we could discuss what had happened.
But as the minutes ticked by and my breakfast grew colder, Harry’s absence became more pronounced. The food was untouched, the coffee growing cold, and my heart sank further with each passing minute.
Finally, Anika’s text came through: “Everyone’s downstairs waiting for you. Even Harry.”
My stomach twisted at the mention of Harry. The realization that he hadn’t shown up was a fresh wound, deepened by the thought of him making me look bad and embarrass me by not being there. I’d spent the morning waiting for him, hoping for a resolution that never came.
I took a deep breath, grabbed my stuff, and headed downstairs. As I walked through the hotel lobby, I could feel the stares and whispers, my unease growing with every step. The team was gathered in a cluster, and Harry was among them, engaged in conversation with a group of people. He looked composed and detached, a stark contrast to the turmoil I felt inside.
Anika immediately noticed me and came over, her eyes sharp with concern. “Hey, the debate topic was announced. We don’t have much time. You look rough, Y/N. What happened?”
I gave her a tired smile, knowing she could always read me better than anyone. “Something happened with Harry last night,” I admitted quietly, my voice heavy. “But we can’t talk about it now. Let’s discuss it after the tournament.”
Anika nodded, her face reflecting a mix of sympathy and curiosity. “Okay, we’ll talk later. Let’s get through this.”
As we joined the team for practice, I couldn’t help but notice Harry’s avoidance. He seemed distant, his demeanor colder than usual. Every interaction felt strained, as though he was trying to keep a deliberate distance. It was clear that something had changed, and the tension between us was palpable.
Despite my efforts to focus on practice, the weight of the morning’s events and Harry’s apparent coldness overshadowed everything. The anticipation of the debate and the upcoming celebration party felt hollow, a stark contrast to the excitement I had felt just a day before.
Throughout the practice, Harry’s demeanor remained defensive, his interactions clipped and formal. It was clear that the connection we had shared was now a chasm filled with unspoken words and unresolved emotions.
Anika found me sitting alone in a corner, trying to steady my nerves. She approached with a concerned look, her eyes searching mine for reassurance.
“Hey, Y/N,” she started, her voice gentle but firm. “I know things have been a bit...off lately. Are you sure you’re up for leading the debate today? You look pretty shaken.”
I looked up, meeting her gaze with determination. “I’m fine, Anika. I can do this. I know it’s been rough, but I’m ready to lead. I’ve got this.”
Anika nodded, her face softening with a supportive smile. “Alright, if you’re sure. Just remember, you’ve got this. We all believe in you.” She said as we made our way to the hall.
The tournament hall was abuzz with energy as teams prepared for their debates. The atmosphere was charged with intensity, and my nerves were a tangle of excitement and dread.
Midway through my opening statements, I glanced up and saw Harry sitting in the audience. My heart skipped a beat, and I momentarily froze, struggling to gather my thoughts. The sight of him, a reminder of the unresolved tension between us, was almost too much to handle. I could feel the weight of his gaze, adding pressure to an already challenging situation.
I managed to pull myself together, but the distraction happened again and again throughout the debate. Each time I saw Harry, my focus wavered, and I could sense the team’s score slipping as a result. I cast a desperate glance at Anika, who nodded in understanding.
“Anika, I need you to step up,” I whispered urgently. “I’m losing it up here. Can you take over?”
Without hesitation, Anika took the lead, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. As she spoke with confidence and clarity, I found myself more relaxed and able to contribute effectively as a supporting member. The pressure of being in the spotlight was lifted, and I made stronger arguments, though the unease still lingered in the back of my mind.
Finally, as the debate concluded, the results were announced. Our team had won. The relief and triumph were palpable, but I couldn’t shake the anxiety that my earlier performance had almost cost us the victory.
Harry approached, a look of mixed concern and congratulations on his face. “Congratulations, Y/N. You did great, despite...”
I cut him off, grabbing my things and heading towards Anika. “Thanks, Harry. I need to go.”
Anika and I headed to her room, the quiet and familiarity offering a respite from the day’s chaos. We got ready for the party as I tried to tell her everything, sparing her the details of me and one of her own professors.
As we sat on the edge of the bed, I recounted everything that had happened. “I thought I was falling in love with him, Anika. It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even know how to process it.”
Anika listened patiently, offering a comforting presence. “You’ve been through a lot. It’s okay to feel how you’re feeling. We’ll figure it out.”
Just then, my phone buzzed with a series of texts from Harry. I glanced at the screen, my heart sinking as I read his messages:
Hey, Y/N. Can we talk?
I just left your bedroom.
Is there any more to do?
I know there’s a party, but I’m hoping you’ll come around.
Just let me know ill be at your door.
Please. I really hope you’ll come around.
Please just let me know, I’m on the floor.
Maybe we’ll work it out.
I just gotta get better at this.
But still, we need to talk about this, or else we never will. It will become something we don’t do, ever.
Cause once you go without it nothing else will do.
Meet me in the hallway, Y/N.
I stared at my phone, struggling to make sense of Harry's messages. The words seemed to jumble together, each text blurring into the next. The thought of him sitting outside my door, slumped against the wall with his phone in hand, sent a pang of confusion and empathy through me. How desperate must he have felt to use my key card to get in and to send these pleading texts?
Yet, Harry's messages seemed to be an emotional puzzle I couldn’t quite piece together. The need to resolve things was overwhelming. If I didn’t confront him now, he might be right—perhaps this was our last chance to address what had happened between us. Ignoring it would mean losing whatever we had built, potentially ending our connection for good.
I knew that if we didn’t talk, our relationship—whether personal or professional—might never recover. The thought of walking away without understanding where we stood left me unsettled. I realized I needed to face him, to hear him out and try to make sense of everything. Only then could I decide whether we had a future or if it was truly over.
Determined, I took a deep breath and made my way towards the hallway, resolving to find out what Harry truly wanted to say.
I stepped out of the elevator and into the dimly lit hallway, the soft chime of the doors closing behind me fading into the background. The hallway stretched out before me, a quiet, almost eerie space illuminated by the occasional flickering light. My heart raced as I saw him—Harry—sitting at the end of the corridor, his back resting against my door. His posture was slumped, his legs sprawled out in front of him. The exhaustion etched on his face was unmistakable, and his eyes were fixed on his hands, which rested in his lap.
He looked weary, almost broken, and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy as I approached him. The way he sat there, isolated in the dim hallway, spoke volumes about how troubled he must have been. The soft, muted light from the hallway accentuated the dark circles under his eyes and the tense lines on his face. His disheveled hair and rumpled clothes suggested he had been there for a while, lost in his thoughts and waiting for a chance to make things right.
I dropped down beside him, my knees brushing against the cold floor. Without saying a word, I reached out and gently took his hand in mine. The contact seemed to stir him from his reverie. He looked up, his eyes meeting mine with a mixture of relief and apprehension.
“Harry,” I said softly, my voice breaking the silence. “Get up.”
He blinked, the surprise in his eyes giving way to a tender vulnerability. “Y/N?” he asked, his voice hoarse. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, my gaze steady despite the hurt I felt.
His face fell, and he looked down at the floor, his expression one of deep regret. I reached out and helped him to his feet, his hand still clasped in mine. As he stood, I unlocked the door, the soft click of the lock echoing in the quiet hallway.
“Can I come in?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Of course you can, Harry,” I replied, trying to keep my tone as warm as I could manage. “It’s what I want.”
We stepped into the room, and I closed the door behind us, the soft click signaling our transition into a more private space. He stood there, looking around the room as if seeing a hotel room for the first time, his emotions palpable. I gestured for him to sit on the edge of the bed while I took a seat next to him, our hands still intertwined.
“Are you okay?” He finally spoke.
“I’m fine,” I replied, though my voice wavered slightly. “But I’m disappointed you didn’t show up this morning.”
His face fell, and he looked down at the ground, clearly pained. “I didn’t mean to let you down. I got caught up with Niall last night...” he tried to defend until finally he relented, I could tell by the change in his expression which was more honest now.
I looked at him, the ache of disappointment still fresh. “I was waiting for you, Harry. I wanted to see you. You said you’d come by before practice, and when you didn’t, it felt like... like you didn’t care.”
He shook his head, his eyes filled with remorse. “No, Y/N, that’s not it at all. I was just... overwhelmed. Niall was really laying into me, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I know that’s no excuse, but it’s the truth.”
I nodded slowly, processing his words. “What did Niall say?”
“He... he was furious. He didn’t hold back. He told me I was breaking all sorts of rules, that I should’ve known better. And he’s right. I know it was wrong. I didn’t call him to brag or to make excuses. I just needed someone to talk to, and it turned into this whole argument.”
He slowly began again, “He called me. It was an hour earlier in Manchester and he had just gotten home. I wasn’t going to tell him at first but then he made a joke about how I’m holding up while on this trip with you, pining for you and –” he spoke as if afraid of his own feelings for me. “that’s when I told him.”
I frowned, feeling the sting of his earlier words. “So, you were talking about me?”
“Yes,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “He was right about one thing—this has to stay a secret. At least until next year, when I’m no longer your professor.”
The gravity of his confession hung between us. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my emotions. “Is that what I am to you, Harry? A secret?”
“No, it’s not that simple,” he said urgently, his voice cracking. “You’re not just a secret or a one-night stand. I—” He paused, searching for the right words. “I was afraid. Afraid that I’d ruin everything, that I’d lose you. I thought if I could just get through this, we could find a way to make it work.”
I looked down at my hands, my mind racing. “But what if that’s not enough? What if I’m just a fleeting distraction? You were saying with Niall...”
Harry’s face contorted with frustration and sadness. “No, Y/N, that’s not how I see you. But you have to understand that it actually is complicated. My job is on the line, and your reputation. I know it’s a 10 year age gap but everyone will still know you as the girl who slept with her older professor. But you’re not a secret. We would have to take it slow the next term, obviously. And for us too, I mean I will take you on a proper date, believe me I’ve wanted to do that before sleeping with you, but we can’t exactly be the most public. Maybe next year we could be more public if you were ready to not take any more classes with me, and for the scrutiny we would face, because I would be. I am willing to deal with anything, I would work through any conflict with the university for you.”
“Wait, you have really thought about this haven’t you? Logistics and all?” I asked.
“Of course I have, I told you, you are not a one night stand. You have been the only thing making me this happy Y/N. All year, you have been the source of my joy, even if all I get is a glance one day and a stroke on my arm another day. I will have you in anyway you would let me, just please stay in my life.” He looked at me as I was trying to believe him.
Finally, he cupped my cheek and said, “If it wasn’t clear already, I have been falling madly in love with you. I love you Y/N, with all my heart.”
The intensity of his confession, combined with the raw honesty of his words, made my heart ache. I reached up and gently cupped his face, my thumbs brushing away the stray tears that had begun to trail down his cheeks. “I love you too, Harry,” I said, my voice trembling with emotion.
He looked at me, his eyes filled with a mix of hope and desperation. The gravity of our feelings pulled us closer together, and as we leaned in, our breaths mingling, the world seemed to fall away, leaving just the two of us in this fragile, sacred space.
Our lips finally met in a kiss that was both tender and passionate. The initial touch was soft, exploratory, as if we were both savoring the long-awaited contact. His lips moved gently against mine, his kiss full of the longing and regret he had expressed. I responded in kind, my fingers threading through his hair, pulling him closer.
The kiss deepened, growing more intense as we both gave in to the emotions we had been holding back. His hands slid up to cup my face, his touch firm yet gentle, as if he were afraid to break the spell. I felt a surge of warmth and love as he pulled me even closer, his body pressed against mine.
We broke apart slowly, our foreheads resting against each other, breaths mingling in the quiet aftermath. The kiss had been a release, a way to bridge the gap that had grown between us. As we looked into each other's eyes, the words were no longer necessary. We both knew what this meant and where we stood.
“I’m so sorry,” he repeated softly, his eyes searching mine for any sign of lingering doubt. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
I smiled, the last traces of tension melting away. “It’s okay,” I whispered. “You love me?” I asked, though it sounded more like a statement I was repeating to reassure myself.
“Yes, Y/N, I love you. So fucking much that it aches.”
“You love me.” I said again more confidently. “God and I love you too, to bits and pieces.”
In that fragile, intense moment, our world seemed to shrink to just the space we occupied together. With a trembling breath, he closed the distance between us, his lips finding mine in a kiss that was both desperate and tender.
His kiss was full of longing, each press of his lips a silent plea for forgiveness and a promise of something more. It was as if he was pouring all his heartache and love into that one contact, his kisses alternately soft and urgent. I could feel the heat of his breath against my skin, the fervor in his touch as he cradled my face, his fingers splayed against the sides of my neck. It was a kiss that spoke of regret and hope, of an intense, almost overwhelming desire to make things right.
My hands moved instinctively, sliding from his neck and through his hair down to his collar. My fingers fumbled for a moment with the buttons of his shirt, the need to be closer to him driving me forward. I could feel his heartbeat quicken beneath my touch, his breath hitching as I managed to open the shirt, exposing his chest.
He pulled back slightly, his brow furrowed in concern. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice thick with emotion. “We don’t have to—”
I cut him off, my voice steady despite the whirlwind of feelings inside me. “I want nothing more, Harry, than to love you.”
His eyes locked onto mine, the vulnerability in them giving way to a deep, earnest emotion. The sincerity in his gaze was a balm to the tumult inside me. As I removed his shirt completely, the urgency and tenderness of our connection grew even more palpable.
With a mixture of hesitance and yearning, we drew closer again. Our lips met with a renewed intensity, the kiss deepening as we both gave in to the moment. His hands roamed over my back, pulling me closer, his touch both reverent and possessive.
As I sat beside him on the bed, the charged atmosphere between us crackled with intensity. His hands were careful and deliberate as he began to slip my cashmere sweater off. Each movement was slow, deliberate, as if he was savoring every moment of this unwrapping.
When the sweater was finally off, his gaze fell on the collared shirt I wore underneath. A smirk played at his lips as he looked at me with a teasing glint in his eyes. “God, woman, how many layers are you hiding under there?” His voice was husky with a mix of desire and amusement.
I met his gaze with a playful smile, my fingers already reaching for the buttons of my shirt. “This is the last one,” I teased, unfastening the buttons one by one.
As the shirt came off, revealing my bare chest, his eyes widened in appreciation. “No bra?” he said, his voice low and tinged with surprise. “You’re killing me.”
A soft laugh escaped my lips, filled with both nervousness and anticipation. “I figured you’d appreciate the surprise,” I said, my voice barely more than a whisper.
Without breaking eye contact, he lowered his lips to my skin, his kisses trailing a path of fire down my chest. Each touch of his lips was electric, causing shivers to cascade down my spine. His mouth was warm and firm, brushing against my sensitive skin as he explored every inch with tender reverence.
Unable to hold back any longer, I guided him gently until he was lying back on the bed. His head rested on the pillows, and I straddled him, feeling the heat of his body against mine. I leaned down to kiss him, our lips meeting in a fervent, hungry embrace. The kiss was deep and full of longing, our breaths mingling as our tongues danced together.
I broke the kiss just enough to press a heated mark on his lower neck, my lips lingering with a firm, deliberate pressure. He groaned softly, a sound that fueled the fire within me. My kisses continued their descent down his chest, my lips tracing the lines of his tattoos with reverent care.
“These tattoos,” I murmured between kisses, my breath warm against his skin, “You’re so fucking hot.” I said slowly and breathlessly.
He responded with a deep, appreciative chuckle, his hands gripping my hips as I explored him. “They’re nothing compared to you,” he said, his voice a mix of admiration and need.
With a mix of anticipation and eagerness, I began to slip his pants down. As I worked, he lifted his hips to assist, his eyes never leaving mine, filled with a desperate need that mirrored my own.
Once his pants were discarded, I paused for a moment, my hand resting on the waistband of his briefs. I could feel the heat radiating from him, and his breathing grew shallow with anticipation. His cock was already straining against the fabric, a hint of its length visible.
“You’re taking care of me so well,” he murmured, his voice rough with desire. “I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”
I looked up at him, my eyes softening with affection and desire. “Anything for the man I love,” I whispered, my voice filled with sincerity.
Slowly, I palmed him through the fabric of his briefs, feeling the heat and firmness of his growing arousal. I leaned down, placing tender kisses along his V-line and lower stomach, my lips brushing over the sensitive skin of his thighs. Each kiss was deliberate, making him whimper and writhe with barely-contained need.
Finally, I tugged his briefs down, revealing him fully. As the fabric slipped away, his cock sprang out, partially erect and throbbing with need. The sight of him, vulnerable and exposed, only heightened my own anticipation. The head was already glistening with pre-cum, and I could see the veins running along the length of his shaft, pulsing with every beat of his heart.
His body tensed, and he let out a desperate groan as I looked at him with a mixture of admiration and desire. The sight of him, so eagerly waiting, made my own need intensify.
He moaned softly as I began to lick up and down his shaft, placing little kisses everywhere and using one hand to stroke the bottom as I teased his head.
“Such a fucking tease” he remarked breathlessly though I knew he was enjoying what I was doing with my tongue, intending to savor him more than I did last night.
I continued to lick at his slit before he moaned “Y/N please, I need you.”
“Need me to what, Harry?” I asked innocently.
“I need your mouth, please – ”
Before he could continue I took him in my mouth at once, bobbing my head until I could feel him in the back of my throught, my eyes tearing up slightly as my hair fell down to drape my face. He somehow managed to pull himself up, despite rolling his head back in pleasure only a few seconds prior, and grabs my hair, willing it into a tight ponytail with one hand, using the opportunity to reach his long arm to place his other hand on my boob, grabbing it harshly as I continued to pleasure him, his dick pulsating in my mouth.
Finally I stopped to stand on my knees, the excitement of the moment coursing through me. I quickly removed my skirt, tossing it aside with a playful flick. As I positioned myself over him, I looked down into Harry's eyes with a mix of anticipation and affection. He was already sprawled out on the bed, his breathing heavy and eager.
With a teasing smile, I placed my hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him back until he was lying against the bed. He looked up at me with a mix of desire and admiration, his eyes locked on mine as if trying to memorize every detail.
I positioned myself over him, my knees bracketing his hips, and took a moment to enjoy the way he was watching me. His cock was already hard and waiting, twitching slightly with every move I made. I rubbed my clit against the tip of his cock, eliciting soft moans from both of us as the sensation made me shiver with pleasure.
Harry’s voice was rough, filled with need. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, his eyes searching mine for confirmation.
I leaned forward, brushing a stray lock of hair from his face. “I want nothing more than to be with you, Harry. This is what I want.”
I was poised over him, my heart racing with anticipation. Harry’s eyes locked onto mine, a mix of desperation and adoration. “Do you have a condom?” he asked, his voice rough.
I bit my lip, shaking my head. “Shit, no. But I’m on birth control.”
His expression softened with relief, though the hunger in his gaze remained. “I’m okay with going raw,” he said, his voice filled with raw intensity. “I want to feel you fully. I want to feel myself inside you, filling you up.” He said, making me smile wide.
“Anything for you, Mr. Styles.” I teased making him moan before lowering myself onto him in one smooth motion.
I gasped as he filled me, the sensation of being stretched and full making me moan softly. I began to move, my hips rolling in slow, deliberate circles as I found a rhythm that felt right. His hands gripped my hips, guiding me as I rode him, our bodies moving together in perfect harmony.
The heat between us was electric, every thrust sending waves of pleasure through both of us. Harry’s hands roamed over my body, his fingers exploring my curves as he whispered praise and affection.
Harry’s moans grew louder with each thrust, his hands gripping my hips tightly as he guided me. “You feel so amazing,” he groaned, his eyes never leaving mine. “God, I can’t get enough of you.”
I bit my lip, focusing on the pleasure building within me. “You feel so incredible inside me, Harry,” I whispered, my breath coming in ragged gasps.
As the intensity of our movements built, I began to tire, my energy waning. Harry sensed it and took over, his hips bucking up to meet mine with an urgent, powerful rhythm. The sensation was overwhelming, my body trembling with every thrust.
He gripped my hips more firmly than before, his voice husky with desire. “I loved having you ride me, but now it’s time to fuck my princess like she deserves.”
With a swift, practiced motion, Harry flipped us over, his body pressing mine into the mattress. He took control, thrusting into me with a relentless pace that left me breathless and desperate. “You’re mine, angel,” he murmured, his voice a heated whisper in my ear. “I want to make you feel everything.”
As his rhythm became more intense, I felt a familiar pressure building inside me. I could no longer hold back, and I came with a shuddering cry, my body clenching around him. The feeling of my orgasm triggered Harry’s release, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he moaned deeply.
“Fuck, Y/N, my angel,” he groaned, his voice filled with both pleasure and awe. He collapsed onto me, his body pressing into mine as he emptied himself inside me. The sensation of him coming within me was almost too much to bear, and I clung to him, my own body still trembling from the aftershocks of my orgasm.
We lay there, entwined and panting, the world outside forgotten. Harry pulled out slowly, his movements gentle and careful as he retrieved a wet towel from the bathroom. He returned and cleaned me up with tender care, his touch soft and reassuring.
“Let me take care of you, sweetheart,” he murmured as he gently wiped away the traces of our passion. “You were amazing.”
I smiled, my heart full as I watched him clean me with such tenderness. “Thank you, baby. I feel so good, euphoric.”
“Good. I want to make you feel like that always, my love” he said, and before I could reply “Lets clean up, yeah?”
We made our way to the shower, the warm water cascading down over us as we stepped under the stream. Harry pulled me close, his hands gently tracing along my back as he started to lather soap into a sponge.
“Here, let me help you,” he said, his voice tender as he began washing my body. He took his time, his touch soft and careful, as if he were savoring every moment.
“Harry, you’re making me feel like royalty,” I laughed, tilting my head back to let the water run over my face.
He chuckled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Well, if I’m going to pamper you, I might as well do it right.”
He moved his hands in slow, deliberate circles, starting from my shoulders and working his way down. His fingers caressed my arms, then slid down to my waist, paying special attention to every curve. He was gentle, making sure the soap was thoroughly rinsed off.
“You’re so meticulous,” I teased, laughing as his hands moved lower. “I didn’t realize I was getting a full-service treatment.”
Harry smirked, his gaze lingering on me with affectionate amusement. “I aim to please. Plus, I want to make sure you’re clean and comfortable before we get out of here.”
As he continued to wash me, his hands occasionally brushing against my skin in a way that made me shiver pleasantly. He took extra care around my neck and shoulders, where he knew I liked it best. Each touch was tender and loving, and I found myself smiling as I relaxed under his care.
“Is this what you do every time you’re in the shower?” I asked playfully, raising an eyebrow.
“Only for the people I love,” he replied, his voice warm. “And right now, you’re the lucky one.”
After he finished washing me, he turned to grab the towel and started drying me off, his movements gentle as he patted my skin dry. The soft fabric of the towel felt comforting against my body, and Harry’s careful attention made me feel cherished.
Once we were both dry, Harry pulled on his boxers and I slipped into a pair of cute pajamas—a matching set of black pants and a black tank top with lace on the neckline. Harry’s eyes lit up with admiration as he saw me.
“Well, don’t you look gorgeous, angel” he said, his voice full of affection. “I think I’m in love with these pajamas. They’re almost as cute as you.”
I leaned in for a kiss, feeling content and happy in his embrace. “And you look pretty good in just boxers, you know.”
He chuckled, giving me a quick peck on the lips. “Well, I’ll take that as a compliment.”
We settled onto the bed, still wrapped in each other’s arms, enjoying the peaceful intimacy of the moment. It felt perfect—like everything was exactly where it should be.
“Do you want to talk to Anika now?” he asked, his voice soft and full of care.
I shook my head with a smile. “No, I’ll catch up with her tomorrow. Right now, I just want to be here with you.”
Harry nodded, his smile warm as he held me close. “I’m glad. I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too, Harry,” I whispered, snuggling into his side. “Always.”
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hope you enjoyed reading this :)
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 11 months ago
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Seven Days to Fall Again | Thursday | Jeon Jungkook
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Inspired by the MV "Seven" by Jung Kook ft. Latto (obvi lol) Summary: Flowers for my love. Jungkook is trying absolutely everything he can to get you back. No matter how ridiculous it might seem. Pairing: Reader x Jungkook (almost exes to lovers lol) Word Count: 3.2k (longer one this time lol) a/n: So I haven't posted anything for this series in almost a month so I'm really really sorry for that. I have so many other series going at this point that it's taken me a second to come back around and write for this one again. This one is a little bit longer to hopefully make up for it. Let me know what you think! p.s. Pretty much wrote all of this is one night so I hope it's not complete crap but I thought it was cute hehe Start from the beginning
Jungkook's visit yesterday threw me for a loop to say the least. 
I've tried to do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't get to me but no matter how many pep talks I give myself or how many times I've tried to scold myself instead, nothing works. 
I miss him, and I hate myself because of that. 
I've been able to go through my morning and most of my afternoon with radio silence from him which has been incredible for my stress levels but I can't help but feel his absence more and more as time goes by.
He was hardly ever around for the last few months of our relationship so I don't know why his presence; which I had specifically chose not to have around now almost feels more painful. 
"Maybe I just need a walk" I say out loud "Yeah a walk and some fresh air should clear everything up" I continue, trying to lie to myself in thinking that some sunshine might actually fix this. 
Walking out of my apartment and heading straight to the subway I make a decision to go to a little cafe that I used to go to with my classmates. It's been a while since I've been there and their strawberry crepes were to die for from what I remember so I think it's time I treated myself to something nice.
~~~~~~~
Leaving the station I notice a big crowd starting to  gather around and I get a glimpse of what they're all staring at, seeing that it's some guy getting picked up off the ground and rolled out on a gurney. 
Taking a closer look, believing that I somehow know them, I feel the need to make sure they're okay but I'm stopped by the police tape they've put up. 
Once the guy's head turns towards me my eyes widen in horror seeing that it's Jungkook. "Wait! Wait! Jungkook! Wait that's my boyfriend!" I say and duck under the yellow tape not bothering to worry about the repercussions. 
When he hears my voice and opens his eyes and I see them quickly change from seeming like he had been on the edge of life and death into his big doe ones, sending me a bright smile, showing zero sighs of distress anymore and leaves me stopping in my tracks.
"CUT" I hear someone shout in the distance. "Who is this girl and why is she on my set?" the same voice say as they gradually get closer. 
"No one" I say, crossing my arms over my chest and see Jungkook give me an awkward smile in response. I scoff and don't bother listening to no doubt the director trying to speak to me and from the small bits I catch onto it sounds almost as if he wanted me to complete the scene. 
"Not interested" I mumble and walk off, ignoring their efforts to keep me there. "Baby wait!" I hear Jungkook say as he struggles to get the belt they had fastened off of him. 
I don't even bother responding and continue to make my way down the street to the cafe, praying that he won't follow me but it seems as though the universe is laughing at me because despite the growing crowd around us he still is able to keep his eyes on me. 
"Y/n wait! Please!" he yells, making sure that there's no way possible that I couldn't hear him but I choose to ignore him nonetheless. "Please Noona wait!" he continues, using a word that he knows will get a reaction out of me and my steps stutter for a second but I regain my balance seamlessly and pick up the pace seconds after. 
"Excuse me, sorry. Excuse me, thank you" I hear him say, continuing to use that loud voice letting me know that he's still on my tail but as soon as I get to a crosswalk I start to walk a bit faster, hoping to cut him off and lose him when he hopefully gets stuck waiting for the next light and luckily this time it works. 
I take a quick glance behind me to check and see him standing there catching my gaze and turning to a flower vender beside him and buying a bouquet of sunflowers, my favorite flowers during this time of year and I know he didn't just get them randomly because no matter how much I think he doesn't pay attention or care about our relationship I know he makes sure he knows the little things about me.
And that's one of the things that makes me want to take him back. 
"Y/n wait! Please" he yells and I turn around just in time to see him decide to take a risk and cross the street without waiting for the light and seconds later I hear the sound of tires screeching on the pavement and see Jungkook duck out of view. 
"Jungkook" I whisper, stopping dead in my tracks, my body totally frozen at the thought that he might've gotten hit. 
Moments later though I see the sunflowers resurface above the crowd and his head soon after that and I watch the exchange between him and the driver and then soon see him turning back to me and abandoning the conversation to start running after me again. 
"Wait!" he says and I turn on my heel to keep going, hating the fact that I've already lost the distance I had gained between us. 
I duck into a random shop in hopes that he'll somehow lose sight of me and walk right past it, losing me and hopefully letting me resume my intended relaxing day to myself. I'll just stop by the bakery instead and make my way home so I can head in the opposite way of what he probably had expected me to be going in. 
As I hear the shopkeeper welcome me I quickly return their greeting and hide behind one of their shelves, picking up a random book and holding it up to my face. Making sure it's open and covering me just enough for him not to notice, but also giving me enough visual to see him pass by and continue his search in the opposite way, just as I had planned. 
I watch as he walks past the store, frantically turning his head in all directions to see if he could finally catch sight of me again and to my delight he continues on the path he had seen me on a few minutes before. 
I let out a deep breath at the sight and put the book down, finally gaining some of that peace of mind. 
"Were you looking for anything specific dear?" the older shopkeeper asks. "No not really, I was just trying to lose my tail" I say pointing towards the window. "My ex boyfriend has been trying to get me back and he won't stop trying to talk to me so we can 'Talk things out' or whatever" I say, letting out a huge sigh, happy to get a chance to talk to someone at least a little bit. 
"Well have you given him a chance to say his piece yet?" she questions, leaving me shocked, expecting her to side with me. "Well...no, but we've gone through these sorts of problems before and I just don't want him to say something that will convince me to give him another chance again" I say, walking towards her and leaning on a shelf nearby. 
She takes a second to think before responding and says something that I was hoping she wouldn't. "You need to give him a chance to at least say something. Everyone deserves closure don't you think?" she says with a soft smile, hoping to get through to me. "Unless he's violent or something of that sort. Then he can go fuck himself" she says with a grin, already knowing that's not the case. 
I open and close my mouth a bit, not really knowing how to respond and she laughs at my reaction, loving how much she's caught me off guard. "He was the young man that just passed by with those sunflowers wasn't he?" she says with a knowing smile. "How did you-" I start out but she cuts me off with another laugh. 
"That boy had the most adorable panicked look, searching here and there as if he had lost his owner. He's quite handsome if you ask me" she say winking at me and making me blush a bit at her straightforward nature. "Give him a chance love. And if you let him go, then you let him go. Trust me, you don't want to deal with the what ifs if he stops trying" she says giving me a soft smile. 
I know she's right and I know I should at least hear him out but at this point I think it's something I've gotta work my way up to. His all or nothing attitude right now is just too much for me. 
"You're right. I'll take some time and when I'm ready I'll sit down with him to talk it all out. Thank you. Oh I'm sorry I should probably get out of your hair. Uh" I stammer at the end, feeling guilty for taking up so much of her time. 
"Um here, can I buy this?" I ask, placing a little bear with a lavender flower embroidered on it's collar on the counter, grabbing the first thing I laid eyes on. It can't be more than four inches tall with it's cute round belly and a little sun hat on it with the ears sticking through it. 
"Keep it" she say, not even bothering to offer room for discussion as she walks away from the counter. "It's full of lavender petals so keep it close and the smell will help calm you down whenever you need it. You might even want to hold it close when you're talking to that boyfriend of yours" she says with a wink and walks to the back of the store, disappearing behind a shelf, leaving me alone with my thoughts. 
I pull out my wallet and put a five dollar bill in the tip jar and take a second glance at the bear and hold it up close to my face, breathing in it's sweet and slightly musky fragrance. I smile down at it's cute little face and put it in my purse. 'I've never been in this bookstore before' I think to myself, now finally taking a second to check out the rest of the interior beyond the immediate storefront. 
I make it a note to come back here one day and return her kindness by bringing something for her to repay her not only for the bear but also for her hospitality and advice.
I take one last glance around and turn to make my way out. 
"You certainly took your time in there" I hear a familiar voice say beside me, leaving me holding my breath for a second at the scare. "Jungkook" I say placing my hand over my chest before using that same hand seconds later to wack his arm making him drop the flowers he had started to hold out for me to take. 
"Hey! What was that for?" he whines, rubbing his arm for a few seconds and picking them back up. "That's for not only scaring me just now, but also scarring me earlier today with that stupid ambulance nonsense" I say throwing my arm out towards what I now know as being a stupid movie set and when I turn back to face him all I can see is a big grin on his face. 
"Why are you smiling at me like that?" I question crossing my arms over my chest. "You know you called me your boyfriend back there right?" he says, his smile growing even wider. I scoff at the memory and don't even dignify his words with a response, turning and making my way back to the bakery just as I had intended as my plan B.
"Wait Noona please" he says and places a light grip on my arm. "What?" I spit out, turning to face him again, a look of displeasure on my face which somehow makes him smile even wider. "Can I at least walk you home?" he asks, poised in anticipation. 
Now that the shop keeper had equated him to a dog I can't help but notice how much he's been giving off golden retriever energy these past few days. Excited and begging for my attention no matter what I say.
"I'm not going home" I say pulling my arm out of his grasp but he grabs onto my hand this time instead, making me stop again, knowing that as much as I want to, I'm probably not going to get my way this time. "Can I walk you to wherever you're going then?" he questions, now completing the look with his puppy dog eyes that pull on my heartstrings every time.
"Fine" I say and he happily catches up to me after deciding to hand the flowers off to some guy and his girlfriend, knowing for a fact that I won't take them. For a second I don't even realize that he had decided to hold my hand again until he sways them back and forth a bit making me rip mine out of his grasp and opting to cross my arms over my chest instead, leaving it hard for him to try to grab onto me again. 
~~~~~~
Walking up to the bakery a few minutes later I stop and face him for a second hoping to shoo him away. "Okay, you can leave now" I say and take a few steps but I still feel his presence close behind me. "Why are you following me?" I ask turning around again, not amused at the fact that he's not listening to me. 
"Who said I was following you? I wanted to get something from here too! You know I like the chocolate donuts here, remember?" he says giving me a soft smile. "Fine" I mumble and reach for the door handle but before I can his hand reaches for it and opens it for me. I spare him a glare and he sends me a sweet bunny smile in return making me roll my eyes in response. 
I walk in and when he tries to do the same he notices a group of older woman making their way out and he waits to hold it open for them as well and I can't help but roll my eyes again, watching him continue to play the sweet loving gentlemen. They smile and thank him a few times in return which he responds with a smile and once they're finally out he heads inside intending to stand next to me in line but is cut off by a few people between us leaving me smiling in victory but it doesn't last long. 
"Excuse me sorry do you mind? I'm with her" he says pointing towards me leaving me widening my gaze and turning around but not fast enough for the others to notice if he's lying or not. "Yeah, sure" one of the guys says and they step aside and let him walk up to me but in the process of squeezing through he stumbles and falls into me a little bit, leaving him latching onto me, pressing me up against the wall I had been leaning against. 
"S-sorry Noona" he apologizes, ears turning red clearly embarrassed at our current position. "It's fine" I grumble and push him off of me, creating some much needed space and walking up to the counter where they're waiting for the next customer. 
"Hi can I get a raspberry donut and a ham and cheese croissant? Thanks" I say and the worker looks over at Jungkook as he is standing next to me and waits for his order. "Oh we're not, we're not together" I say tripping over my words, this being the first time I've said that in front of someone while he's standing right next to me. 
The worker looks between us and draws what I can assume is a line under my order that she's written down and then asks for Jungkook's which he orders just what he had said before, a chocolate donut. 
"Thank you" he says warmly and the worker looks between the two of us, not believing my words from before but smiles almost amused by our situation and tells us our orders will be right out before handing the paper over to the cashier where she gives me my total. 
Before I'm even able to reach for my card though I see Jungkook place his phone on the card reader to pay. 
"Hey!" I say in protest while Jungkook tells her to ring him up again for his donut as well. I decide it's useless arguing with him in public and walk off to the side to wait for our food. "I can pay for my own food" I grumble as he walks up to me. "I know, but I wanted to" he says simply and we wait in silence until they hand us our bags. 
"So where are you going now?" he asks, holding the door open for me again and jogging after me, having to hold the door for the next person again. "Home" I say and make my way to the subway entrance. "Can I walk you home?" he asks, already knowing the answer but trying anyway. 
"No Jungkook. You can't. You asked if you could walk me to wherever I was going next but that isn't an invitation to follow me around for the rest of the day. Just leave me alone." I say, the last part not as confident as the rest. "I just want to make sure you get back safely" he offers and at that my blood starts boiling. 
"I'm more that capable of taking care of myself! I don't need you to babysit me because last time I checked I was the one that was older than you" spit out at him, pressing a finger on his chest. Getting more and more irritated with every breath and watch as his eyes get wide, surprised by my sudden hostile nature. 
"I'm s-sorry I didn't think tha-" "And that's exactly what your problem is. You don't think about what I want or even what I don't want. Now will you please leave me alone? I don't want to deal with this today and I don't want you to follow me" I say, punctuating my words so it'll get through his thick skull. 
He opens his mouth to respond but I cut him off again before he makes me even more upset. "Don't" I say and walk away, throwing my food away in the nearest trashcan and descend down the step into the subway station, hoping and praying he doesn't follow me. 
This time around though the universe smiles down at me, granting my wishes but leaves behind a broken and beaten down Jungkook, truly trying to figure out how everything went so wrong. 
Wednesday / Friday Series Masterlist
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icycoldninja · 7 months ago
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May i request dante, vergil and nero with a gn!reader who is depressed and has negative thoughts about themselves? (You can ignore it if you feel uncomfortable with it though ^^❤️)
I'm not uncomfortable with it at all! Very comfortable, actually. In fact, I had planned to do this for some time now. Enjoy!
Sparda Boys x Depressed!Reader headcannons
¤ Dante ¤
-Dante's a man who's experienced with depression. He's been very depressed many times throughout his life, to the point that he once considered suicide.
-He knows you're in pain and wants to do his best to help you, so he introduced the coping mechanism he's most familiar with: alcohol.
-You two drink until you're both heavily drunk, then you cuddle on the couch, revealing your deepest secrets to each other. Though it's likely you won't remember much of what you said, Dante will.
-The next morning, he addresses everything you're depressed about, including your low self esteem. He reassures you, telling you you're not worthless, that you're an amazing, strong person, and that he's always going to love you.
-"Look, I know how ya feel, I really do, but you don't need to feel down. Ya know why? Cause you're a badass, capable of pushin' through anything. You can get through this no problem--and I'm gonna be here for you the entire time. I love ya, baby."
-After that, it's loving kisses and warm cuddles all the way until you fall asleep, and then more hugs and kisses until morning.
■ Vergil ■
-Vergil understands your pain, remembering a time when he once thought darkly of himself because of the death of his mother.
-Vergil then decides to do something he'd never do normally: initiate physical affection.
-He scoops you into his arms and holds you, without saying a word. He tightly clasps you to his chest, running his fingers through your hair while rubbing circles into your back.
-After a little while you start confessing your worries to him, breaking down in tears in the process. Vergil holds you and listens to it all, wishing there was more he could do for you. Then an idea pops into his head: He would motivate you.
-"Do not allow yourself to be troubled by such trivial matters. There's no reason to think negatively about yourself when there is nothing negative about you. If others are to blame for your current mood, then give me their names and addresses and I will deal with them myself."
-His words really were motivating, and made you feel better very quickly. When you tried to get off him, he held you down, letting out a small grumble in the process. It seems you're going to be trapped in his arms for a while--better make the most of it.
□ Nero □
-Nero's been through his fair share of emotional crap, so it's safe to say he relates to what you're going through.
-He won't be giving you a pep talk anytime soon, but he will give you as many hugs as you want, as well as listen to anything you might want to get off your chest.
-He doesn't want you to feel like you're worthless or unimportant, or anything negative like that, so he'll be sure to pepper your face with kisses the entire time you talk to him.
-If you start to cry, he'll internally panic because he isn't the best at comforting others verbally, so he'll just squeeze you really right until you stop crying, regardless of whether it's because you're cheered up now or he's crushing your ribs.
-"Alright, I'm not the best at this, so I might sound mean, but you got nothin' to worry about, ok? You're feeling depressed for a stupid reason. I think you're awesome, and you should too. Now c'mere and lemme hold ya."
-And that's just what he does for the rest of the night, snuggling you in an effort to make you feel better.
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soupbaddie · 10 months ago
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A Day With the Pavel Family
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*only suitable for mature audiences, 18+*
While this story is fine for 13+, future parts will not be.
This story contains spoilers pertaining to Najuma and Hodari quest lines.
◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
"Hey! Your dad said you were wanting some tea, so I brought you some sweet leaf."
Najuma had just barely made it out of her room, still yawning, before I started talking to her.
"Oh! Um.. thanks! This will be great after dinner tonight. Thanks, Em."
I couldn't get out a reply before she took off out the front door, saying something about not wanting to forget her newest idea.
I sat back down on the couch and picked up my book. I had spent the last hour reading, waiting for Najuma to wake up. I started my day early in the hopes of getting a sernuk before it was too hot to hunt. Luckily it didn't take me too long, so I came here right after and got straight to reading.
"Hey, darlin'."
I was so lost in my book, I didn't even see or hear Hodari come through the door.
"What are you doing here so earlier? I don't usually see you 'til lunch time," he said, while giving me a grin.
"I could ask you the same. You should work while it's still cool out. Also, how did you know I was here?"
He nodded toward the door and said, "I saw Najuma come out of here with a pep in her step and I knew that meant she'd seen you."
I looked down and smiled as he made his way to the couch to sit by me. He put a hand on my thigh and I could feel a tingle move up my leg and to my spine. His touch always felt so new and made my heart race.
"What can I do for you, darlin'?"
"Oh. Nothing," I replied. "I was just out and thought I'd try to make the day easier for you by getting some steaks for dinner. Lucky for you, I was successful." I looked up at him and he was already looking back at me.
"You know you don't have to do that for me," he said quietly.
"I know but now it's one less thing for you to worry about."
"Well, I really appreciate it, Ember. You take good care of Najuma and me."
He gave my thigh a light squeeze and I felt a wave of nerves run through me.
"I wish I could help out more but, I'm a better hunter than I am a miner."
He chuckled. "Well, how about you join me in the mines today and I can give you a few tips."
"I'd like that."
He stood up and grabbed my hand to help me up then led me out the door.
I waved at Najuma as we made our way towards the mines. She smiled and waved back but I knew she was upset that she couldn't join. I was slowly convincing Hodari to let her back in the mines but it was taking more time than I'd hoped.
As we got closer, I started to feel some nervous energy creeping up inside of me. I had been working on my skills and was really hoping Hodari would notice. I didn't want him to feel like all his help in the past had been ignored. He had more patience with me than he should've and I felt like I needed to prove that I was worth the work.
"Alright, Ember, let me see what you got."
I swung the pick above my head and using the weight of it, came back down on some iron in front of me. It didn't do much but at least I hit my target this time.
"Not too bad, darlin'. You're getting better at this. Move your legs further apart, they're too close together. Now give it another swing."
I pulled back the pick again, and with better balance, was able to come down with a little more force.
"That's it. Nice swing, Em."
I let out the breath I had been holding and gave him a nod. When I went to hit a third time, I swung back too fast and lost my balance. I dropped the pick in the hopes of moving my hands in time to catch myself. Before I hit, I felt Hodari catch me.
"Take it a little slower next time. There's no rush," he said as he helped me back to my feet.
"I know we just started, but I think I'll take a break. That pick is always heavier than I remember. I'll come back once I catch my breath."
He gave me a nod of approval and I took off to find some shade. I sat under a tree close enough to the mines to see Hodari at work. He was great at his job and all those years of hard work really showed. He was strong. I could feel it when he caught me. He held me like I didn't weigh more than the pick I was swinging. I sat back and admired him. His face was so still and focused. His stance was firm and unmoving in a way I knew I'd never conquer. And his arms, his chest...
I got a weird feeling in my stomach and turned to look at something else. Any time I really stopped to look at him, these feelings would come. I wasn't very familiar with them. Existing was still pretty new.
When I arrived here, I had no idea what being human meant. I knew the basics of being alive, but I had almost no memory of where I came from or what I was before arriving. Everything I did and saw were firsts for me. The foundation of who I was was there, but nothing was built on it.
I pulled a book out of the bag I had been carrying. It wasn't the one I had thought it was but it would do.
"Stalking Prey for Beginners," I read out loud. Not as entertaining as the romance novels Caleri introduced me to but still good enough to keep me reading.
After some time passed, Hodari made his way towards me wiping sweat from his brow.
"It'll be dark by the time we get back. Don't want to keep Najuma waiting," he said.
I hadn't even realized it had gotten so late. I'd spent the whole day reading this damn book... and occasionally staring at Hodari.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I never went back to help. I got lost in reading."
I looked down, a little embarrassed, and he chuckled.
"You know I don't mind, darlin'. I'm glad you found some time for yourself to relax. You deserve that. "Now let's head back." He grabbed my hand and we walked back to the house.
Najuma was already inside waiting for us. She was at the table writing notes about her latest creation. She had yet to tell me what it is but I knew she would when she was ready for a test subject.
"Hodari, you go clean up and I'll start prepping dinner. Once you're done, I'll go next," I said.
"Sure thing, darlin." He kissed my hand then headed outside.
"So, what did you get up to today?" I asked Najuma as I started washing some potatoes.
"Oh, the same as always. Wait until dad is out of the workshop then get started on my latest projects."
She paused then said, "I found one of your books. But don't worry, I won't tell my dad."
I felt my face get hot and turned to her. "You didn't read it did you?" I started to panic.
She let out a laugh then said, "No way. I'm not into your romance books. Seeing you and my dad is gross enough."
A breathed out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness she thought it was just some dumb romance novel. I'd hate to find out it's my fault she was introduced to smut.
Once I had calmed down, I got back to prepping the potatoes while waiting for Hodari to come back.
"Go ahead and get yourself cleaned up, darlin'. I'll take it from here."
He walked in smiling while rubbing his hair with a towel
"Oh! Perfect timing. The steaks are ready for the grill and that's definitely your job."
He laughed and took the steaks outside to cook. I followed before heading for the outdoor bathing area around the house. I washed the dirt off my skin and out of my hair and tried my best to get all the dust out of my clothes. It wasn't perfect, but I felt so much better and much more presentable.
By the time I was done, dinner was ready and the table inside was set. We all sat and enjoyed the meal.
Najuma told us about how Auni was bothering her again about joining him in bug hunting. Hodari talked about a promising new mine. To everyone's surprise, he asked Najuma to join him in checking it out and to come up with a game plan for getting it open.
He's getting there. This is a step in the right direction. I know he's having a hard time letting her back in but I think he's starting to see that keeping her from her Path is only making their relationship worse.
"I'm gonna make some tea. Do you want to try some, Em?"
"I would love some! Thank you," I replied.
She had an excited smile on her face as she got out another teacup.
Once brewed, she brought me the tea. It smelled earthy yet sweet with a hint of mint. I took a sip, and it was delicious. I know Najuma could tell I liked it because she reassured me there were plenty of leaves for another cup or two.
We all sat in silence for a while. This was pretty typical of the Pavel family and I didn't mind. I enjoyed the comfortable quiet that came with being around them.
"Thank you for trying the tea, Ember. My mom and I used to enjoy a some after dinner together. It's nice being able to do that with someone again." Najuma said quietly as she spoke into her cup. I reached out my hand and placed it on her forearm.
"Thank you for sharing something so special with me, Najuma. I'm honored," I said.
She gave me a shy but happy smile and we went back to our tea.
Hodari reached under the table, put a hand on my knee and gave it squeeze. When I looked to him, he had a soft, happy grin on his face. If he wasn't proud of me for the mining, he was for this moment. 
"Well, I'm going to bed!" Najuma said as she hopped from her chair and made her way to her bedroom. We all knew she wasn't actually going to sleep but at least she pretended to.
"Don't stay up too late, now. I want you up bright and early to check out that new spot," Hodari said, but she was in her room before he even finished.
He let out a sigh and I stood up from the table.
"Leavin' so soon, darlin?"
"Not unless you want me to stay a little longer. And if you do, might I suggest we move to a more comfortable spot? Like the couch?"
"Of course I want you to stay. I can't seem to get enough time with you."
We made our way to the living area and sat down. He put his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder.
"I saw you lost in that book today." Hodari said.
"The hunting one?" I asked.
"No, the one you forgot on the table."
I felt my face get hot. I let out a nervous laugh then replied, "Oh, that? Its nothing. Just a dumb romance book." I was too embarrassed to look at him.
"Well, I won't 5 it didn't look like nothin'," he said as he gave me a sly smile then let out a chuckled.
"So what're you plans for tomorrow, Em? If you're in the area, you're welcome to come by and say hi. You know I'll always make time for you."
I looked up into his eyes and something inside me was begging me to ask him if I could just stay forever. Not only do I hate the long walk out here but I hate always having to say goodbye.
He could tell something was wrong because his expression changed to concern when he said, "Is there something bothering you, darlin'? You can talk to me."
I couldn't even look at him when I replied, "I was wondering if you'd ever be interested in letting me stay the night?"
He started fumbling for words.
"Well, I, um, I haven't really thought about it."
I knew he was lying, but I could see a little bit of fear in his eyes.
"It's okay. I don't want to push you. I know you want to take this slow, and I understand that. But, I want you to know that I'm ready whenever you're ready."
I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"I'm sorry, Em. I'm scared. I'm scared to get close again. I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to hurt you, and I especially don't want Najuma to go through that kind of pain again... From someone leaving... I know I shouldn't worry, but I want to make sure I'm doing this right."
He paused then quietly continued, "When I gave you my pin, I knew I wanted us to be forever."
He was no longer looking at me at this point, so I put my hand on his face and gently turned it towards me.
"Hodari, I will never know how it felt, to go through what you did, but you don't need to be afraid. There is nothing you could do that would make me want to leave." I took a deep breath. "And I decided, long before you gave me your pin, that I wanted to be with you during this life and the next."
I could see the sparkle of a tear in his eye before he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. His kiss was gentle and it set my chest on fire. All I could think of was him. I was lost in his kiss as the room around us disappeared.
I felt one of his hands cup the back of my head while the other found its way to my hip. He kissed me deeper and I couldn't get enough. I kept one hand on his face and placed the other over his heart. It was beating fast. Faster than I would've expected from someone so stoic.
I don't know how much time had passed before we were interrupted but the creak of a door.
We both jumped in surprise and turned to see Najuma sneaking out for her nightly session in the workshop.
Hodari gave her a disapproving look then said, "I'm just gonna pretend I don't see you sneakin' out right now. But don't forget you have a busy day tomorrow."
Najuma slipped out the front door without saying anything.
Hodari let out a sigh.
"Sorry 'bout that. I should've known she'd be out here soon," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. He'd never admit it, but he was embarrassed. Admittedly, I was too.
"It's alright," I said. "You need to be getting to bed soon, anyways. You also have a busy day tomorrow, and it's getting late. I'll stop by breakfast in the morning."
I stood up and made my way towards the front door. I needed to get going or it would be the next day before I even got home.
"Ember, wait."
Hodari stood up and made his way towards me. He took my hands in his.
"Why don't you stay here for the night, darlin'?"
I gasped. "Are you sure? Like, totally sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable if you're not ready."
"I'm sure."
"Okay... Well, I can just stay on the couch if that will make you more comfortable."
He gave me a flirtatious smirk before leaning in close to me. I could feel his breath on my neck when he whispered in my ear, "I'll get my bed set for two."
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Hey! If you've read this far, you're a Saint. This came out so much longer than planned. This is my first time writing something that wasn't required of me. I'm still learning and would love feedback. Criticism is welcome as long as it's nice because I take everything personally. If this gets a positive response, I'd love to write a part 2, but it will be NSFW. Let me know, and thanks for reading!
Feel free to share because I'm too scared to 😅
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badomensgoodomens · 21 days ago
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RIFFS AND REGRETS - noah sebastian - part two
part one here
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hi, i have ultimately decided that after a week i absolutely hate this storyline and believe i can do better lol. i had intended to progress further after this chapter, but it is suitable to stop here.
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Hadn’t planned on waking up in a shitty emergency tent during the festival of a lifetime, much less the angry danielle who was standing over me lecturing me. 
“Are you fucking stupid?? You were so dehydrated that the adrenaline made you faint!! We talked about this- that is the number one rule of touring-” “danielle-” “you had me worried sick!! That is so not cool-” “danielle!!” i shout, overwhelmed. “Fuck- did i hit my head on the way down?” i ask, rubbing my face.
 “Uhhuh, leo said you went down like a ton of bricks, hit your ribs on the fuckin toilet bowl.” i groan, leaning my head back. “He was watching you, yaknow.” she says. I pause, looking up at her in utter confusion. “Who?” “noah. From the artist tent.” i close my eyes with a sigh at that information. “Thanks for sharing.” i mumble, trying to ignore the stinging coming from my ribs. 
“You can't keep ignoring him, you know.” she says, shifting her weight from one foot to another, hand resting on her pregnant belly. “He broke my fuckin heart dani.” i reply, too exhausted to put up a proper fight. “Oh please. You didn’t even date.” she says, vic comes up behind her. “Who?” he says, wrapping his arms around danielles stomach. “He who shall not be named.” dani retorts, leaning her head on his shoulder. “She STILL stalks my insta. I am NOT talking to him. Hes probably cheating with poppy anyways. Shes pretty.” i say, sitting up a bit. “Arabella, you're one stupid bitch.” 
____________________
The next morning i have a much needed shower, i stand infront of the foggy bathroom mirror in nothing but a plain black set, admiring the nasty ass bruise that littered my left rib. Yikes. I shimmy into a stage outfit, now ruined by the bruise i adorned. 
I managed to limp backstage with the help of vic, who set me down on a random, rundown couch with a bottle of water. I lean back with closed eyes, until the weight shifts that is. I crack an eye open, nicholas sits next to me. “So i’m just ticking you all off one by one huh?” i murmur, closing my eyes. “You could say that i guess. Hey i heard through the grapevine about what happened yesterday. You okay?” i take a sip of water, allowing the cold liquid to soothe my throat before speaking again. “This water is good.” “you didn’t answer my question.” he uncrosses his arms, leaning back a little. “I don’t want to lie to you” i shoot back. He grins. “Ive missed you, bella.” he side hugs me, narrowly missing my bruise. I just hum in response. “Hows the rockstar life?” i ask, he tilts his head. “Its okay i guess. I really do miss having you around bella-” he starts again. “Hey, we’re on in five.” noah calls out, briefly walking past the room, he avoids eye contact. 
Its almost like im a thorn in his side. 
I probably am, honestly. 
______________________________
I can’t even lie, bad omens stage presence is phenomenal. Its exhilarating and exhausting all at the same time. They give every concert their all, its admirable. However, unfortunately we were allocated the time slot AFTER them. I hobble towards side stage, taking deep breaths. Leo gives me one of his bullshit pep talks. “I’m not even anxious, just unsure how im supposed to do this.” i laugh, pulling myself up the stairs. 
“Hey australia how we feeling!!!??” I call out, genuinely trying  to muster up ANY ounce of energy. “So yesterday i took quite the fall, and now im covered in bruises, so i need YOU guys to give it your all!!” 
We launch right into our set, the crowd menacing once again. During each set i allocated 5 minutes at the end to play whatever song i please. 
“So i intended to perform doomed today, because i know yall love oli sykes. But considering im uhhh a bit.. Limited. We are gonna sing a bit of sleep token.” 
Gene begins to play the opening chords to “the love you want” 
Everyone and their mother knew how much i loved sleeptoken, how much noah did. However i was dumbfounded when i spotted him standing side stage, his gaze boring into the bruises on my left side. Fuck. this just got an awful lot more awkward. I finish off on stage, managing to slip past him in a timely manner despite being injured. I collapse on to a leather couch, exhausted. 
I lay there for a while, watching the different bands filter past. Eventually, i hobble my ass out of there, humming mindlessly. 
“Give by sleeptoken huh?” 
I actually nearly shit myself, my heart falling to my ass. 
“Can i help you?” i respond, turning around to face noah. I can’t pinpoint what flashes across his face. “Its been a while arabella.” he shifts awkwardly. I nod, we stand awkwardly, the wind picks up. “We should really talk.” he breaks the silence, taking a step forward. 
I step backwards, muttering “ill think about it.” before escaping to my bus. I shut and lock the bus door, sliding down it. Shit. Shit. I just fucking ran away from him. 
“You good?” leo asks, handing me a beer. “Just ran into noah.” i breathe out, taking a sip. He joins me on the floor. “How’d that go? You wanna talk about it?” i sigh. Gene and lucy join us. “What even happened between you two” lucy questions, cradling a vodka cruiser. 
“He started dating this girl and got really distant. She told him to drop me, eventually i got so sick of it i tried to walk out and we got into an argument. He said… some stuff, so i got the hell out of there.” i summarise, avoiding eye contact. Leo elbows me, “you wanna say the rest?” 
I cringe, the whole situation not having been my best moment. 
“Okaywellyeahihadacrushonhim butineveractedonitsoidontknowwhyshewassomad-”             
Leo laughs. 
“Im fuckin doomed for eternity, he wants to talk” 
____________________________
“I think you should.” danielle says, crowded around a bar table in a bustling underground joint. I shake my head. “Do i even bother though? How do i know hes not going to just reprimand me for what happened?” i groan, my head in my hands. Vic hands me a much needed drink. I sigh, unsure of what to really do with myself. 
A couple drinks in, vic whisks dani away to the dancefloor, leaving me alone. I toy with the straw of my drink, running my fingers over the rim. Somebody sits opposite me. I look up, meeting the eyes of folio. “You okay?” he asks, signature grin slapped across his face. “I’m good, you?” i answer, trying to make smalltalk. He replies with a nod, downing the rest of his drink. “Shouldn’t you be with the boys?” my voice is quiet, small. “Nicholas and noah are god knows where. Jollys chatting up some girl. Didn’t wanna kill his vibe. Plus you looked sad so….” 
Right. He was only here because he pitied me. Just like the rest of them. “”Nick, it was great talking to you but i think im gonna head back to the buses.” I say, packing my things up. “Oh- okay. Get there safely.” he smiles, pulling me into a hug. I step out, exhausted. I slip towards the side alley, reaching for a cigarette in my bra. I lean my head back on the cold brick wall, the night air was cold compared to the short dress i was wearing. I was honestly a mess… this was all so…. Confronting. 
I wait patiently for my uber, wanting to get the hell out of here. “You got a lighter?” i gulp, turning around. Im face to face with his chest. Fuck i forgot hes a fucking giant. I look up at him, nodding. I watch him light a joint, leaning on the wall next to me. “You wanna talk.. Or..?” 
I take a deep breath. Contemplating every single life choice.
“Are you and her still together?” i ask, rubbing my hands on my thighs anxiously. He shakes his head, taking a drag. “I broke up with natasha four years ago.” i hum, so they stayed together a whole year after i left. I look up at the night sky, unsure of what to say next. 
“Im sorry for what i said to you.” 
Im almost immediately agitated. “You hurt me noah.” he rubs his face, handing me the joint. “You don’t think i don’t know that?! I watched you walk out that door knowing there was nothing i could do-” “there was SO much you could fucking do.” 
Its silent for a moment. 
“She threatened me that day.”
“What?” 
“Natasha. She slashed my tires.” 
Hes honestly.. Taken aback. 
“Sorry?” 
“She told me you’d never love me. That i was pitiful for thinking i had a chance.” i swallow, avoiding eye contact. 
“Bella-”
I take a drag. “I’m sorry noah.” 
“What for..?” he says, almost holding his breath. 
“I told you that i hoped you’d feel sick to your stomach when you hear my name.” i laugh bitterly. 
He nods. 
“Uhh… not exactly far from the truth.” 
We sit in comfortable silence, just smoking. 
“I broke up with her because she cheated on me. Shes a tattoo artist now, atleast thats what ive heard from nosey interviewers.” he says, effectively breaking the silence. 
I don’t say anything, staring at the ground. It starts to rain. 
“We weren’t supposed to end like this.” he speaks again.
“Atleast not in my dreams.” i laugh. 
“Chase two girls, lose the one.” noah says, looking down the alleyway. 
I look at him quizzically. 
“Wait. you liked me?” 
“Like.”
fuck this. I need to go, i need to get away from him. Fuck. fuck im going to fuck something up. I shouldn’t of done this. 
My heels click as i begin to run away again, wiping frantic tears. He reaches for my wrist, his fingers warm compared to the coldness of the night. pulling me back to him like a safety net. Almost immediately i wrap my arms around his waist, sobbing. 
“I don’t hate you” i wail, he sighs, stroking my hair. 
I shouldn’t be doing this. 
“I know bella.” he murmurs, tightening his grip on my waist. 
“I should.” i sniffle, looking up at his doe brown eyes. 
“You should. And it makes me the luckiest bastard in the world that you can’t manage to.” 
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flammingnachos · 1 year ago
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𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠(opla!zoro x fem!reader
𝑺𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; you were the girl that joined the straw hats crew after giving them a great plan to beat arlongs crew, you’ve captivated him, making him unable to get you off his mind even though you have only just met him, he can already feel a strong connection and desire to be with you
��𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈; best man zoro, slight cursing, protective zoro, perverted Sanji, disclaimer; this takes place after the straw hats defeat arlong and are on there way to the grand line AFTER telling each other about there goals
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Everything happened so fast, you certainly didn’t think you would leave your village with your parents to join some straw hat crew that helped out your people from arlongs power
All you’ve wanted to do was help out the gang of pirates with arlong and be about your way and ignore a certain green haired pirate that wouldn’t keep there eyes off you the whole journey
Now your here leaning against the going merry, watching the sunset and the birds fly as your captain was on top of the head of the boat enjoying it too
Nami was in her usual place in the decks office drawing away her map, Usopp doing god knows what I’m the back, Sanji cooking and Zoro taking his usual nap by the railing
I’ve taken quite the liking to the swordsman as he speaks to me and Nami with a much more different approach rather than the captain and the cook
Nami would always tease me and say that he’s been giving me love eyes ever since the day I joined and that he’s more kinder to me than to her
That’s nonsense he knew her before me
We’ve had conversations here and there nothing too big as I always seem to catch him during the late nights when I couldn’t get any self
There was one moment in particular of where we’ve nearly went intimate but I had to remind myself he doesn’t see my that way but his new crewmate
It was another late night on the going merry, another day with me getting nightmare about leaving my parents behind so I came out to the deck to breathe some fresh air
Everyone is usually sleep during this time so I didn’t expect to see zoro standing by the railing look out
“Couldn’t get any sleep either” he mumbled out
“Nah mother nightmare” I confessed walking over to where he was as he turned to me
“About?” He asked furrowing his eyebrows
“I’ve been thinking that maybe joining this crew wasn’t the best thing I did” I said looking out into the sea
“Why do you think so” he asked
I looked over at him and then back at the ocean
“You guys don’t know if arlong is truly defeated he’s a fish man after all I’m…just scared that maybe I left them there and it still isn’t ..safe” I whispered out feeling a bit unsure in myself
“Are you kidding, you joining the crew was the best thing that we ever had-”
I looked over at him with awe, a smile making its way onto my face
he stopped himself slightly as he cleared his throat
“I-i mean your a really good strategiest, we needed one with all the shitty plans we’ve made in the past that couldn’t really help us” He said in a more monotone voice
Just when I thought he was expressing himself
I nodded my head sucking in a breath of air as I looked back over on to the ocean
“Your right, you guys needed a good strategist for the team and picked the person with the most fucked up life” I mumbled out
His eyes went wide to realization seeing how his words affected me
“Wait no that’s not what I-” He tried to explain
I shaked my head turning my heel to leave zoro alone since he really wasn’t helping much
Before I could fully walk away he grabbed my wrist making me freeze unable to move
“Listen.. I don’t really do these pep talks with the rest of the crew when they don’t feel value in themselves..” He then said
I turned my head looking deeply at him in the eyes
“I can see” I giggled in which he only smiled
“Luffy doesn’t pick anyone to join his crew, he picks the one’s he knows that are the best of the best no matter the background..”
“I don’t usually agree with everything he does but you joining the team was something he didn’t even have to repeat for me to be aboard with it” he finished off looking at me in the eyes and then my..lips
“Oh” I rasped out as our faces started to inch closer to one another
Our breath fanning on top one another’s face’s..
We were almost close to kissing just one more step forward and our lips would have collapsed onto each other
he shaked his head mumbling something to himself while backing away slightly
I looked at him confused
“I’m sorry..Goodnight” He then said backing away and then hurrying back down in the where everyone’s room where at leaving me there dumbfounded
And ever since that day I couldn’t help to notice zoro always avoiding me, whenever he came in the kitchen and saw Sanji flirting with me per usual he would hurry out
At nighttime when he thought I wouldn’t notice or feel a presence behind me I did and when I did turn around no one was there
That day has been stuck on my mind
“a beautiful drink for a beautiful lady” singed out Sanji as he gave me another drink he made for me and Nami
“Thank you” I smiled out in which he blushed giving the heart eyes as usual
“Anything for a beautiful woman like yourself” he expressed out
“Hey! Where’s my drink” Luffy yelled out from on top of the going merry
Sanji rolled his eyes walking away
“You’ll have to wait” He yelled back waking back into the kitchen
I only laughed while taking a sip
But from the corner of my eyes I saw Zoro get up out his sleeping spot mumbling out something as he made his made to where our rooms where at
I just shrugged it off as something else
Maybe I should talk to him after all this has been going on far too long now..some point we gotta own up to what we did
I tossed and turned in my bed, before finally opening my eyes and looking up at the ceilings
Another night of me getting no sleep
I sighed getting up to do what I normally do, making my way out to the deck but to my surprise zoro was there first completely unaware of my presence or so I thought
“still having nightmares” he asked out looking into the sea while leaning pressed infront of the railings of the going merry
“No..just not tired” I responded back slowly inching closer to him
“Oh..well I’ll just leave you to it” he said taking a huff of air turning around to walk away before I stopped him
“You’ve been avoiding me..”
“Why?” I asked
he stayed quiet
“If it’s about what happened with us then at some point we gotta own up to it and-” before I could even finish zoro had grabbed my face pressing our lips together as we shared a passionate kiss
Our lips roughly moved against each other as I our tongues fought for dominance over reach other’s his obviously winning
I pulled away quickly as I was starting to get out of breath
I took heavy breaths looking at him frantically
“What-” I tried asking out but he cut my off again
“The reason I’ve been avoiding you is because of my feelings towards you..I know we’ve only meet a couple of weeks now and you we haven’t fully introduced ourselves but being with you just makes me feel like…” he took a deep breath
“Like we’ve knew each other life times ago, I don’t know what keeps pulling me closer and closer to you to the point where you’ve been the only thing on my mind day and night day and night but I..”
“Guess I only avoided my feelings because I wasn’t sure if you’ve actually felt the same way, especially since the way how that dumb cook would have flirt with you” He grumbled out taking another deep breath looking down onto the floor
I was amazed
I think I felt tears start to come out my eyes
I was completely speechless I didn’t know what to say to him in this moment
He must have noticed my quietness and looked up
I pulled him into another kiss this time with more love and passion pulling away after some moments
“Yes..I-i like you too zoro” I whispered out looking at him deeply in the eyes
He smiled
That beautiful smile
“Then let’s go back to bed shall we” he asked with that beautiful smile of his
I smiled back and he gave me a peck on the lips
“Yeah..”
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amethxxt · 5 months ago
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What are brutally honest thoughts on:
Harriet Hook
Li Shang Jr(ignore his name)
Herkie
Aziz
Claudine Frollo
I'm not sure about brutally honest lol but I'll do my best:
HARRIET HOOK
• I don't think you guys understand how much I love Harriet. She's one of my most favorite Descendants characters to write about.
• Based on the few things we know about her from the books, she already seems awesome. Sometimes, I have to remind myself that my headcanons are not canon lol but I have many about her.
• What bothers me the most about Harriet is not her fault at all. I get so mad that they have created Harriet, Harry and CJ, and altright refuse to have them coexist. I would love to see all three Hook siblings together, but noooo, Disney hates fun.
• I can't remember if they mention her having her own crew, but to me, she does and it's one of the most respected gangs on the Isle. No one dares messing with Captain Harriet.
• She dances with Anthony Tremaine in the books and they're a couple. I'm not sorry, I make the rules and they are canon to me.
• To be honest, I could make a whole list of my headcanons about Harriet, I'm just not doing it now because there's more characters to talk about.
LI SHANG JR
• I wish we had seen more of him, maybe have him and Lonnie interact - then again, I don't think it would be possible for them to include all the characters I want in the movies.
• Again, I hate his name, just to make it clear. Also, just made some headcanons about him and Lonnie here.
• It would be nice to have him interacting with Jay and Carlos in D1 after they joined the Tourney team, maybe giving them pep talks instead of the coach and help them feel like they belong there.
HERKIE
• If Disney doesn't stop giving Descendants characters such terrible names, I swear-
• Again, since he's part of the Tourney team, it would be cool to see the boys interacting with him. Since Herkie's really strong, he could show Jay strenght doesn't have to equal agression.
• I also have a few headcanons about him that I'd be willing to share someday. Herkie's also a minor character in my fic about Audrey.
AZIZ
• My poor boy, getting cut from the first movie...
• Seriously, I would've loved to see him! They cut his character and didn't even have him appear in the other movies or Wicked World.
�� He was also supposed to be in the Tourney team, why does Disney hate them lol So yeah, it would've been really nice to see all of these boys hanging out. Since Mal mentions Jay getting "victory pizza with the team", I wish we had gotten to see that.
• Despite D1 being the movie that I think was able to work the Core Four individually the best, I still think we could've seen a bit more of how the boys were doing in Auradon.
CLAUDINE FROLLO
• This character... Oh, I adore her. Like I said on my other post, I don't remember much from the books, but I know she was part of the Anti-Heroes Club.
• I always say I wish Descendants could be darker, and Claudine is one of the main reasons why. The daughter of Claude Frollo? The girl is a walking bundle of trauma. There are some og characters that I can see growing to be good parents, but Frollo? No, call child services.
• I don't really like that Claudine is mentioned to be the person ringing the bell at Dragon Hall in the books, mainly because I don't think Frollo would raise her to be a copy of Quasimodo.
• Still, I like that she's part of the Anti-Heroes Club, and I imagine her as very strong girl who would be extremely determine not to become like her father.
I would love to talk about my headcanons for some of these characters, so just send an ask if that's something you'd like to see!
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Anybody who thinks it's easy to be seen in any fandom should receive a reality check. I'm going to give those people a bit of tough love. Yes, it is discouraging to try so hard without getting much interaction in return. Yes, it is mostly based on luck and timing whether you get your foot in. No, a gigantic yield of likes and comments isn't going to pour at you with one or even a handful of works just because you think you deserve it. And no, you're not going to be making friends overnight if ever. Most fandom experiences are actually quite lonely. People who do make fandom friends often sacrifice a ton of their free time and in-real-life relationships to hang out with them. It's hard work, it's rotten work and it can eat at you mentally since getting friends and also sticking with them, no matter what your or they do, is hard. Making people read or look at your things is even harder because you feel like you are imposing on them (most of the time you are by the way). This is why you are not creating for others. You are creating for yourself! Out of self-indulgence! Because you are obsessed over these little fictional characters playing out scenarios in your head! I am so sick of hearing people complain about lack of kudos, likes, reposts and comments, and I can't believe a fandom this small suffers from it as well. Why do you care so much for a made up internet currency that will just make you miserable? Create something out of love for the creation. Why give a flying fvck about what others think about your work because chances are, they aren't real critics with real knowledge and feedback that you need. I've noticed that the "icons" of fandoms often don't even interact much in other's creations' comment sections. So why don't you concentrate on perfecting your craft instead, like they do? You can mope about it all day or you could go outside, work on your poetry, do a study of an impressionist painting or read a classic. Consume art, watch movies, go to the theater, experience. Make a roadmap for your goals, take notes, watch tutorials. That's what's gonna give you skills, inspiration and ultimately, visibility for your work, both fan- and/or original. Just do something useful, you! Right. Now.
👀
Sorry, I'm gonna have to tackle this little pep talk head on.
It's horseshit to say "write for yourself" and act like it's shameful for people to express their frustration with the perception of having their work ignored. Yes, one should ultimately create fanworks that are true to themselves as much as possible, and do so because they enjoy it first and foremost, but I have a feeling that anon here doesn't know what it's like to pour your heart and soul into something and get crickets. When you know people are seeing it, that feels like a judgment of your work - a negative one. I say that as a quasi-popular creator in the fandom.
I'm not saying people are obligated to like or engage with works they don't find appealing, I'm simply arguing why it's valid to feel sad about that situation.
If fandom creations are all "for ourselves" then why bother posting on Tumblr or ao3 in the first place? It's because there's a community here that we want to engage with. Every single one of us.
This posturing about "I write for myself so I don't need or want any validation for my work" might put you in a special category of emotionally different people but it's not true for the majority.
In fact, most of the idea of asking for prompts on Tumblr is to entertain an audience of people supportive of your work, so I hope you've never answered a creative ask, anon. That would make you a hypocrite.
Everyone should absolutely be writing what pleases them first and foremost, but that doesn't detract from the sense of community and pride you get when someone else openly enjoys your work.
I also feel like there's a definite subtext in this confession that reads "you're not popular because you're not good enough. You need to work harder and you'll succeed." Studies have shown that popularity is not necessarily based on merit, and it's almost random what gets popular based on who latches onto something and shares it.
In short, anon, please get off your high horse. There are plenty of amazing writers and artists in this fandom who get little to no traction. Maybe if you stopped getting comments, kudos, and likes on your work for a day we'd see how you feel about this issue then.
This is certainly not a dynamic unique to HL, although in a fandom with only a few hundred active members at most (at least on Tumblr), it feels more personal when your work is ignored. Since our tags are small, it's harder to just accept that you're being overlooked and not take it personally.
You can find countless posts decrying the overall decrease in engagement in the past few years on Tumblr and begging people to leave kudos and comments! Maybe people should try to keep in perspective that they're not alone, maybe we all should complain less, but the idea that we should be better than wanting others to enjoy our work (and show that) does not sit well with me, especially while we're constantly watching others in the fandom sniff each other's farts.
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hana-bobo-finch · 2 months ago
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kabbu bug fables kabbu bug fables KABBU (PERSONAL YAPPING INCOMING!!! LOOK OUT!!!)
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kabbu….reading too much into kabbu get ready….he used to be my least favorite (not that I didn’t like him but just that I liked vi and Leif more) but he is. Urghhh. He won my heart in chapter 5 (have not finished chapter 5 yet though). the way that one of the main thing he does is try to make his teammates feel ok….like he literally has a skill called pep talk…..and he spends a lotta his time helping them and stuff……meanwhile he has to have his own trauma basically pried out of him with a crowbar and is all iffy about taking about it and it comes out as anger………..uuuuuuuuu STOP IT!!! STOP DESTROYING ME LIKE THIS KABBU. it is just SO painfully relatable bc. I spend so much of my energy trying to help people, but in the process I ignore my own problems and just kinda let them fester, and then they eventually all come out in some destructive way, rinse and repeat. And that goofy little bug is forcing me to be introspective because I spent the beginning of chapter 5 thinking “TALK ABOUT IT KABBU ITS OK!!! TELL THEM!!! YOU DONT ALWAYS NEED TO BE THE ONE DOING THE HELPING!!!” and then I realized oh crap I could probably use that advice too. uurrghh don’t like this don’t like that the funny bug game is making me start soul searching. cause it’s TRUE!!! I realized it so potently earlier today. I was in a downright whimsical mood but I saw 1 (one) thing that made me remotely sad and it took like a solid 15 minutes to try to calm myself down to prevent a full blown panic attack and remember that it isn’t my responsibility to help all the time and I had to let myself be happy for once, and even then it took another hour to feel completely normal again……ooougghhh aaaarrrghhhh. the hyper empathy is hyper empathying….rrrghhh. ive mentioned it before I think but being hyper empathetic sucks so bad. feels like just soaking up everyone else’s emotions and I don’t got room for my own. Whether good or bad emotions. so I was dealing with that earlier and I thought abt kabbu and it just got me thinking yknow? maybe I’m a bit too much like that little bug man for my own liking and that’s why his backstory utterly destroyed me (and the fact that he was so panicked over leif being hurt in chapter 4 because he didn’t want to lose anyone else again HOO BOY that hit me square in the gut and I haven’t even had anyone close to me die I just have REALLY bad anxiety when it comes to that kind of thing!!!). so um. Is there a point to all this talking?? um sort of!!! will probably dial back interacting with my moots’s more personal posts because I am Pretty Sure I am soaking up all of the emotions and it is stressing me out!!! listen listen listen i can NOT stress this enough, this is not targeted towards any of yall and it’s not any of yall’s fault!!! I do not want to give off the wrong impression that is the exact opposite of what I am trying to get at!!! in short I will be avoiding more personal posts like the plague until I can get my own brain in order because right now I am nothing but a sponge, soaking up everything around me. But rest assured I will be cheering you all on in life from the sidelines. anyway I was going to go into the rest of team snakemouth and how much they mean to me but I think ive talked enough already and I haven’t even beat the game yet lmao (VI AND LEIF MY BELOVED SOBS SOBS SOBS THEY R JUST LIKE ME FRFR)
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seenoversundown · 9 months ago
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Sparrow Of The Dawn : Chapter Seven
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Sam x Willa (Fem OC)
Warnings: Anxiety (Normal and Flying related) Mentions of Plane Crashes (all in panicked thoughts) Lost Luggage (it can be a rough time for some people) Angry Sam (if you squint) , and Fluff (but like..if you get Sam Feels, you chose this)
Word Count: 7.1k
Summary: Sam unfortunately finds himself in not so meet cute with Willa. Hopeful that he doesn't cross her path again; the world works in mysterious ways and not always in your favor.
Author's Note: I hope you're ready 🤭
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Stuck In the Middle With You - Stealers Wheel "Well, I don't know why I came here tonight, I got the feeling that something aint right, I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair, And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs."
“Alright, repeat after me.” Quinn says after placing their car in park. They turn to me, hands extended as they explain. “No annoying man is worth your shot at this job.” 
“No annoying man is worth my shot at this job.” I repeat, also turning to face them for the pep talk they're giving me. 
“Good. Just.. don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do out of state. Most things I wouldn't do out of state are felonies, there’s a lot of red tape with crossing state lines.. so, assault is off the table.” Their nonchalant attitude about committing crimes will always make me laugh. The thing is, Quinn doesn’t look like the type of person who would commit a crime, but also definitely looks like the type of person who would commit a crime. I don’t put anything past them because I’m sure whatever they’ve done if they’ve done it, they’ve one hundred percent gotten away with it. 
“Assault is off the table.” 
“Right. My knitting needles are still available if they’re needed when you’re HOME.” a definite emphasis on home.
I take a deep breath, centering myself for the morning, trip, and week ahead. Oh, it’s going to be a long one.
“You got this, don’t you stress that pretty little head. Just text me if you’re feeling particularly violent.” 
“Okay, okay. You’re right.” I pull them in for a hug. “I got this.” Once again repeating their words back to myself. 
I hop out of their car and tug my definitely overpacked luggage from the back seat. 
“I’ll text you when I land, okay?” I call back to them and shut the door, and turn toward the entrance to the airport.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
After I checked my luggage, I went searching for the gate. I find a seat, sit down, and wait. Albeit very early, but you can never be too sure with flights. It could be busy, or they could have changed the gate; there are too many variables to things going wrong. I decided to send Sam a text to gauge when to expect him while I sit here. 
Willa: What’s your ETA?
I try to keep it simple enough, but as the minutes tick by I start to get more anxious. Why are men so terrible at texting? I wait another few minutes and text him again.
Willa: Are you on your way?
Could I be any more like an annoying girlfriend? God. Ew, don’t think about Sam and Girlfriend in the same sentence. 
I check my phone for what feels like the millionth time this morning. Where the hell is he? Scrolling through my apps trying to distract myself to no avail. I close out and open my text thread with Sam, which only consists of me texting him. He still hasn’t answered my last one, and his read receipts aren’t on so I don’t know if he’s ignoring me or just hasn’t bothered to look at his phone. Which, why would he not check his phone? We’re seated together, we’re flying together; why would he not bother to communicate with me? Unless..
No. 
No way? 
He wouldn’t bail, would he? 
I mean, I don’t exactly know him super well but.. He wouldn’t.
Right?
My heart starts to race in my chest as I begin to panic. I stand up and look around, trying to see if I can spot him through the crowd of people walking down the hallway. I stand on my tiptoes, trying to gain the tiniest bit more field of view when I see him. Casually walking down the aisle, breakfast sandwich in hand, headphones on, paying nobody any mind. 
I seethe.
He smiles at me when he catches my eye. I swear it takes an age for him to finally meet me with how slow he’s walking. Like he has all the time in the world.
“Morning, Birdie.” He says cheerfully, taking another bite of his sandwich. It astounds me how little regard he has for other people. Just living life flying by the seat of his pants, not worrying about the time or anyone else involved. Especially not if that anyone is me. 
“Where the hell have you been, Sam? We board in–” I double-check the time. “Ten minutes!” I say exasperatedly. 
“I know.” He looks confused. How could he be confused about this? The email stated explicitly boarding begins at 5:50am. Oh, it's too early in the morning for me to be dealing with this. “That’s why I’m here? Why on earth are you irritated before 6 in the morning?” 
“Why do you always show up at the last minute?” I snap back.
“I’m still early, they haven’t started boarding yet. Jesus, calm down, okay. It’s gonna be fine.” He takes the last bite of his sandwich and throws the wrapper in the nearby trash, wiping his hands on the front of his gray sweatpants. God, his gray sweatpants. I shake my head of the thought, remembering I’m angry at him and refusing to let the thought of his ass in tight tapered gray sweatpants distract me.
Oh, I could hit him, I am that mad. Get it together. You will not let this man ruin this experience for you just because he wants to be a bonehead first thing in the morning. What was it that Quinn said again?
I take a long breath in, hold it–
“He’s not worth my job. No across-state line crimes. Assault is off the table. Knitting needles in case of emergency.”
– and release. 
I choose silence instead of violence. 
The attendant comes over the speaker and starts announcing boarding schedules. We have pre-selected seats and are, thankfully, sitting on the side with only two. We at least won’t have to deal with any strangers for this leg; PMW is a small airport, so of course, we have a layover to get to the West Coast. I hope I can convince Sam to let me have the window seat. Naturally, we’re one of the last groups to board. I’m just happy I checked my suitcase and just brought my backpack for the flights so I don’t have to worry about the overhead bins. Can’t say the same for Sam though, as he stands next to me with his backpack on and duffle bag gripped in his hand. 
When our group gets called, Sam heads over first; I sort of just cower behind him like a small child. Annoyingly latching onto the back of his cream-colored henley. We take awkward baby steps through the aisle as people file into their seats. I give Sam a gentle reminder of our seat numbers, 11A, and B, in front of the wings where it's quieter but not the emergency exit.
He pops the overhead compartment open and shoves his duffle bag inside then he slides in, right to the window seat.
“Uhm. Can I..” I start nervously. “Can I actually take the window seat?”
He stares up at me. His mouth hung open, clearly confused. “Why?” he asks.
I roll my eyes, irritated that we’re holding up the line to some degree, as people mumble and push past me. “Seeing out the window.. Helps.” trying my best to tiptoe around the elephant in the room.
“Helps?” He parrots me. 
“I hate flying, Sam. Okay? Can I please just sit in the window?” I rush out under my breath, finally spilling the beans. If he had just an ounce of intuition about him. Nevermind. 
“Ohhhhh.” He says, standing up, well, standing as best he can under the overhead bin. “That’s why you were being so psychotic this morning.”
He stands up straight in front of me in the middle of the aisle, waving me in with his hand. 
“It’s not psychotic to want someone to show up on time.” I slip past him and slide into the window seat. Shoving my bag under the seat in front of me. He follows, plopping down next to me and doing the same with his bag.
“I was on time, just not early. I’m actually always on time, you’ll find.” He leans an arm against the armrest between us, placing an inquisitive finger to his chin. “I’ve not once been late since you’ve known me, have I?”
I decline to answer, and instead raise the shade on the window and pull out my headphones, ready to drown him out once the flight attendants are finished with their instructions. Because, yes I do pay attention to those. You can never be too careful. 
The plane starts to move, and instantly my heart is beating like a drum in my throat. I wring my fingers together, focusing on the friction of my hands. The heat of my palms only soothes me so much. 
Sam leans over the armrest again and whispers, “You can hold my hand if you’re scared, it’s okay.” I look down to see his palm staring right back at me. I glance up to his face trying to determine if the smile he wears is genuine or if he’s being a dick. 
My pride won’t allow me to accept the former, so I reply, “I’d rather eat dirt, actually. Thanks for making fun of me.” Then I cross my arms and stare out the window. 
“I wasn’t – Nevermind.” He adjusts in his seat and puts his own headphones back on his ears. 
The relief I feel knowing this first flight is a short one is minimal at best. Just when I get used to being in the air, we’ll have to touch back down and then I’m waiting in the airport to do it all over again. 
I pull my headphones over my ears and choose a playlist I specifically curated to be relaxing for the flight. I tilt my head back and focus on anything but the low hum of the engine. Just as I start to forget, I’m thousands of feet in the air..
Turbulence. Fuck.
I jolt upright and clasp my hands together, squeezing them together so tightly I’m on the verge of breaking a finger. I feel a hand touch my forearm. I peek open one eye, despite knowing that the only person that could be touching me right now is Sam. I look up at him, and he gestures for me to remove my headphones. 
“It’s a short flight, so they won’t go up as high. Meaning there will be more turbulence than normal as we fly through the clouds.” 
Great.
Wonderful. 
Amazing.
That makes me soooooo happy, actually. My breathing picks up, and I trying to calm my nerves and focus on my breathing. In through my nose, and out through my mouth. Sam sneaks into my line of sight again.
“Hey.” He gives me a gentle smile and I might find it sweet if I wasn’t losing my mind at the moment. “We’ll only be up here for ten minutes tops, then we descend. You have nothing to worry about.”
Easy for you to say. I resist the urge to snap at him and go back to my breathing techniques.
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I have never in my life been more thrilled to touch solid ground. Every time the plane shook, I squeezed my eyes and hands tighter. I’m surprised I made it out unscathed. Well, relatively unscathed. The skin around my thumbs bore the brunt of my anxiety when I wasn’t trying to be as still as possible. Somehow, my logic was if I can stay still, we won’t plummet to the ground to our untimely deaths. At one point, we dipped what I’m sure was a normal amount, and I swore that was the end of me. 
“I’m hungry.” Sam says to me as we walk through the tunnel to the airport. “Think I’m gonna roam around to find some.”
I stop midstep. “No. I don’t trust you. We’re going to find the gate.” I say.
A statement, not a question. 
“But Birdie, I’m hungry.” He complains, like a five-year-old. Jesus, if I wanted to tote around an annoying child, I would have had one by now. 
“We’re going to go and find the gate, Sam.” I don’t let him argue with me. “Please, don’t do this to me. I’m already stressed, and I don’t trust you not to make it worse by showing up at the last minute again.” We finally step into the gate. Airports always smell so bad, and the Newark airport is no different. No matter what time of year, they always smell like sweaty socks. Gross.
“How about this,” he counters, and I wait for his terrible idea. “We go find the gate–”
“Yes! Thank you!” I exclaim triumphantly. I honestly thought I’d have to fight him harder on that. He throws me a pointed look as we walk side by side.
“How about we go find the gate, we see it exists, and then we go get food. Together.”
I contemplate his words, mulling them over in my head. I’m not usually one to eat while flying. Due to all the nerves and stress that I’ll miss a flight or get lost. I don’t fly much for this reason.
“Come on, Bird. We have a two-hour layover, and if I don’t eat, I’ll be cranky, and there’s no vacancy in the cranky department because we both know that spot is taken by you.”   
“Hey!” I protest. He’s.. not exactly wrong, though. Am I cranky? Yes. Do I have a reason to be cranky? Yes. Come to think of it.. I don’t think I’ve actually seen Sam cranky. I’ve seen him surprised, like when I yelled at him at the farmers market. I’ve seen him happy, like when we won the contest. I’ve seen him sassy, because yes sassy is the word I’d use to describe when he bickers with me. But I’ve never seen him cranky or mad even. He always matches my snarkiness tit for tat, but he never seems irritated by it. It’s one of the reasons I don’t fully mind having to do this project with him. He’s talented, which makes the work part easier. And he’s a total pain in my ass. Mostly because I just.. Don’t understand him.
“So…” He waits with anticipation. 
“Okay.” I give in; I feel like I’m always giving in to him. “We’ll see where the gate is, and then we’ll go get food.”
We make our way through the crowd. Luckily, the gate we have to be at is just at the next terminal over, so we don’t have to walk very far. Sam, however, is a very tall man, and I find myself struggling to match his stride, even at a casual walking speed. Or what I’m sure is casual for him. I wrap my hand around his elbow and give him a gentle squeeze as if to remind him of my presence. Just another example of Sam acting like he’s the center of the universe. He does, at the very least, slow down a little after that, but I don’t let go of his arm. Just in case. 
“There’s our gate, Birdie.” He looks at it lovingly and slips his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. “Isn’t she pretty?” he lets out a dramatic sigh. 
“Yeah, okay. I get it. Let's get you some food before you wither away and die.”
Choosing a place to eat goes swimmingly when I point out somewhere, and he turns it down. Stupid vegetarian. Finally, we end up at one of those marketplaces that’s more like a rest stop than an actual place to eat. 
Sam buys half the store worth of snacks, and I stick to just a bag of goldfish and a coke until he yells over to me. “Hey, can you grab me sushi if there’s some over there?” He points to the cooler. 
Does he really think he’s going to find sushi here? In the airport? I look anyway just to appease him, and when I find none, I check out. I grab my two items and meet him in the hallway, and we head back to the gate to sit until we board. Thankfully.
We find a couple seats next to an outlet and put all our belongings on the seat between us. 
“There was no sushi?” He looks over at me with the biggest puppy dog eyes I’ve ever seen. Jesus. Have his eyes always been that pretty?
“No, Sam. There was no sushi.” I say, hardly wanting to disappoint him. 
“Damn.” he mutters, shoving a couple chips into his mouth. 
“This is Newark. Did you honestly expect there would be sushi?” I ask, opening my bag of goldfish. 
He shrugs, “I dunno. Ya never know.” 
“I thought you couldn’t eat sushi, being a vegetarian and all.” I question skeptically, popping a few crackers into my mouth and opening my bottle of coke. 
“Sushi is my one exception.” He whispers to me like it’s a dirty secret. “Don’t tell Daniel.”  He says as if Daniel and I are in cahoots with each other to conspire against him. I’ve never even met the man. Not officially, anyway. I’ve seen him at the bar a few times, but we've only exchanged a handful of words as he’s checked my ID a time or two. 
“My lips are sealed.” I pretend to lock my mouth and throw away the key. He smiles at me, and it reaches his eyes. Bright and happy. How he manages to be in such good spirits traveling is beyond me. 
I reach between us, setting aside my goldfish, and dig through my bag for a charger. I spent so long checking my phone and staring at my empty texts from him that the battery is getting low, and the next flight is the longer one. I feel through every corner of my bag; I swore I packed it in and I don’t feel it. I open another compartment and feel around there, nothing. Another, and nothing. God damnit. 
“What’s wrong?” Sam asks, setting his food down next to him. 
“Can you just–” I start pulling out items from my bag and setting them in his hands. His eyes are wide with confusion, but I don’t care. I need to find my charger. 
In what feels like Aggie Cromwell’s endless purse of goodies, I stare down at my now empty camera bag. All the contents strewn between mine and Sam’s laps, his arms overflowing. 
“Uh.. Bird?”
“Ugh! I can’t find my charger.” I lean back in my chair, annoyed, and he laughs. He LAUGHS. The nerve of him.
“I have an extra.” he attempts to hand me some of my things back. I stare at him slack jawed. Okay?
“Well good for you!” I snap back. Mr. Overprepared Kiszka has an extra charger while I’m going to have to buy a new one. He laughs again, his eyes squinting as he does. 
“I mean I have an extra you can borrow. Hold on.” He starts to successfully hand me back my things and I crowd them around my lap. 
“Here you go.” He gives me a small smile, and I grab the charger from him. 
“Uhh, thanks.” I unravel the cord from where it's tucked around itself and plug it into the wall socket next to me. I pause just before I stick the cord into the lightning port on my phone. Why does he have an extra?
“Sam.”
“Yeah?” He doesn’t look up from the book he’s reading. 
“Why do you have an extra charger?” 
“Just in case.” He shrugs, still not making eye contact with me. I have a feeling of what he’s going to say if I press the issue, and I better be wrong. 
“Why?” I push his book out of his view. And he sighs. Oh here it comes.
“Because Birdie.” He adjusts in his seat, putting his bookmark in between the pages and looking me directly in the eye. “Clumsy and forgetful usually go together, and you’re definitely clumsy. Is that what you wanted me to say?”
I’m not forgetful. I’m prepared–I’m overprepared, really. I overpack. I plan, and I plan, and I plan. I am not forgetful. Sufficiently annoyed and again choosing not to argue with him, I start to place my things one by one back in the pockets of my bag. 
With his eyes still watching me, he says, “So.. Do you like the camera bag?” a wide smile spreads across his lips. God damnit. I knew he was going to be like this and still bought one anyway. But to be fair, it was the first bag that popped up in my Google search for ‘camera bags’. He totes his around everywhere he goes, so clearly he thinks it's a good choice. 
“I do. It has lots of pockets for all of my things.” I say.
“Like your rocks.” He holds up a black tourmaline raw chunk, and I pluck it from his fingers and tuck it securely in one of the pockets. 
“Yes, like my rocks. That one is good for travel.” I say matter of factly. My phone buzzes against my leg, drawing my attention away from him.
Quinn: Birdieeeeee, you got some splanin to dooooo
Willa: Not you too 🤦🏻‍♀️
Quinn: Hey! You’re not allowed to protest when I was just trying to be a good, dutiful, stay at home roommate and do your laundry while you’re away. HOWEVER I found these in your hamper
Quinn: [ picture ]
Quinn: I was just wondering, if your ratty old sweatpants are here.. What you’re planning on wearing there?
I groan at their text, earning a curious side-eye from Sam. When we won the competition, an email was sent out informing us that we would be sharing a double room. Despite knowing we’d be in two separate beds I still wanted to seem like I have my shit together. Ratty sweatpants do not say ‘I have my life together.’ They say I’ve worn these through every breakup I’ve ever had and are stained with no less than four different kinds of comfort meals and chocolate syrup from the ice cream I've consumed in them, too. Resulting in the conclusion that my life IS, in fact, a mess. Sue me for cryin’ out loud. My phone buzzes again.
Quinn: Are you wearing your sexy pjs?
Quinn: for HIM?
Quinn: A MAN?!
Quinn: You only wear them for me? ☹️
That causes me to laugh, out loud. 
“Everything okay?” Sam asks, concern written on his features.
“Oh, HA, yeah. Everything is fine. Just roommate stuff.” I explain awkwardly.
Willa: They are not sexy pjs just because they match. I was trying to seem like I have my life together okay. People with matching pjs have their lives together.
Quinn: [ picture ]
Quinn: That’s cold, Wallaby.
Jesus Christ. I stare at a photo of Quinn’s pouting face and promptly redirect my attention to Sam. He’s just been in his henley this whole time. No jacket, no coat, no scarf, and he usually always wears a scarf. 
“Are you not cold?” I let my impulsive thought escape my lips. 
“No.” He says plainly, turning the page to his book. 
“Did you even bring a jacket?” I can’t help myself but ask.
“I packed a jacket, yeah.” He pats his own camera bag. 
“Oh.” Well damn. How am I supposed to respond to that? He shuts his book with his finger still keeping his place.
“Are you cold?” He asks.
“I’m always cold, remember?” I say absentmindedly. 
I always come prepared for traveling because airports are cold, planes are cold, and, in my unfortunate turn of luck, it's cold where we’re going. I get a free vacation to an equally cold place. Not how I pictured California. I wore a black long-sleeve under my cream-colored Patagonia pullover to keep warm. I figured a small coat would be enough, with the beginning of April around the corner. 
“Did you want to borrow it?” He interrupts my thoughts.
“What?”
“My jacket. You said you’re cold. Did you want to borrow it?” 
My eyes go wide at his suggestion, and I can’t seem to make my mouth move in protest. I just sit there with my mouth hanging open like a weirdo, and because I’ve taken too long to answer, he already starts to pull his jacket out of his bag. Oh god.
“Here.” He says, giving me a small smile. I take the jacket from him and straighten it out. Oh. It's the rust-colored jacket he was wearing the first day I saw him at the Farmer’s Market. I slide it around my shoulders and slip my arms through each sleeve, staring down at the ties in lieu of buttons. Sam laughs as I stand there.
“It just ties, Birdie. Here,” His hands, oh god, his hands, work the delicate strings at the front. Tying them in tiny little bows. I’m exactly the same height as him as he stays seated in front of me. When he’s finished, he’s still smiling. “There you go. Perfect.” And I really look at him for what seems like the first time. Oh, this is going to be bad.
“Now Boarding Flight 2637 to San Francisco.” They announce over the intercom. Thank god.
 We’re not the last boarding group this go around so it should go a little easier. We stand slightly out of the way until it's our turn to go; this time, Sam lets me lead. Similar to the last flight, we’re in front of the wings, and he allows me the window seat. It works out better that way because he spent so long trying to fidget with the overhead compartment before sitting down next to me. 
Much like the previous flight, I fight with my nerves. I’m just hoping there isn’t turbulence. We’re in the air for almost seven hours; I don’t think I could handle turbulence for that long. I run through my routine. Taking my headphones out and wrapping them around my neck, double-checking my playlist, slipping my Kindle into an easy-to-grab area just in case I am calm enough to read. Doubtful, but we can hope. 
I clasp my hands together and wait as the plane navigates the runway. The flight attendants start their safety presentation and as always, I pay attention. I think I catch a slight giggle from Sam as I crane my neck to be able to see over the seat in front of me. Then we take off. 
I stare out the window as the ground shrinks beneath us, the wheels folding up under the aircraft. I make myself small and still, paying attention to my breathing and the speedy thrum of my heart in my chest. In through my nose, pausing, and breathing out through my mouth. My head starts to get fuzzy as I take in the smell of Sam’s cologne still lingering on his jacket. The woody notes of cedarwood, balsam, and amber calm me down a little. Has he always smelled this good? Why have I never noticed that before?
My eyes wander to Sam, curious to see how a normal person handles a flight. Secretly stealing a glance at him, I take in the profile of his face backlit by the sun from the opposite window. He really does have good genes; all of them do. It’s kind of rude, actually. His hair waves slightly, resting against his shoulders. He runs a hand through it as he casually scrolls through his phone. I lean my head against the back of my seat, feeling myself start to relax a little with each deep breath I take. 
He meets my gaze and holds his hand out to me, offering me the same comfort I previously denied him on the last flight. Again, I decline with a small wave of my own hand. I should be okay, I think to myself.  
After a bit, I’m jolted from my calm demeanor when more turbulence hits. I sit up straight and resume my position of small and still, nervously wringing my hands together.
Sam grabs my hands with both of his and squeezes gently. I look over at him and he looks so worried about me. Why does he look so worried?
“Come here,” I think is what his mouth says to me. I can’t hear anything over the rapid beating of my heart in my ears. Everything else is muffled.
He breaks apart my hands and laces his fingers with my right one, my left one having no choice but to wrap around the back of his. He tugs me a little, pulling me closer to him and I lean my head against his arm. I inhale deeply, searching for the scent that calmed me earlier. In through my nose, pause, out through my mouth.
Again and again, until I feel my heart slow, even if just by a small amount. His thumb gently rubs against the back of my hand. 
“Hey, look at me.” He says softly, as my ears start to clear up. I tilt my head up, never leaving his arm, and stare directly into his warm brown eyes. “You ever heard of the jello theory?” I shake my head no. 
“The theory is that when a plane experiences turbulence, it's kinda like a stapler trapped in jello. The stapler wiggles around but doesn’t suddenly land on the floor. So the plane isn’t going to tumble out of the sky because of a little turbulence; it’s just gonna wiggle around a bit.” 
Huh, I never knew that. I can feel my muscles start to loosen where they’re half wrapped around him. 
“Better?” He asks.
“Better.” I say. Which is the truth. I do feel better after hearing that. 
“Want to watch a movie? Help distract you a little more?” He bends down slightly, unzipping his bag and pulling out his laptop, all one-handed, as he never lets go of mine. 
“How?” Obviously confused by the mechanics, we both have over-the-ear headphones, which puts sharing out the question. And Sam doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to listen to a movie with the sound on blast in public.
“I have one of those splitter things. Borrowed it from my brother, actually. Ya know.. Just in case.” He says, and the smallest tint of pink washes over his cheeks. He pulls down the tray and sets his laptop on top of it, again reaching into a pocket and pulling out the splitter, and clicking it into place. He wiggles his fingers at me to give him my headphone jack, and then he plugs that into place right next to his. 
“I have Zootopia, The Godfather, and uhh,” he pauses looking down at me. “Twilight.” he mumbles.
“I thought you said you’ve never seen Twilight?” I question skeptically.
“I haven’t.” and I’m almost positive he’s lying. “I uploaded it ya know.. Just in case.” he repeats for the third time today. Samuel ‘just in case’ Kiszka.
“Twilight it is.. Everyone should see it at least once.” I give him a bit of a side-eye. My belly does a flip, and I squeeze his hand tighter when another jolt of turbulence hits. He squeezes my hand back, letting me know its going to be okay. 
“Twilight it is then.” and he clicks play on the movie.
My eyes start to flutter close sometime around ‘Hold on tight spider monkey’, but before I fall asleep, I could swear I see Sam quoting the movie under his breath. I tuck that nugget away for another time.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
When I wake up, I’m still curled up to his arm, our fingers still clasped together, his head gently resting against mine. I raise my head a little, careful not to disturb him, and notice the spot of drool I’ve left there. Oh god. I sit up straight, scaring him in the process, and begin furiously wiping at my mouth. He looks at me wide-eyed, then down at his arm, back up to me, and turns back to his movie. He doesn’t say anything nor does he look upset. My face heats with embarrassment, and I scoot as far away from him as I possibly can. 
He disconnects our headphones and starts to pack up his laptop when the pilot informs us of our descent. I feel like I’ve been on a plane for ages today. Somehow, despite my nap, I still feel unrested. Must be all the anxiety. 
When the plane finally touches down, Sam is quick to get up and stretch. I can’t blame him; he’s nearly six feet tall. I can't imagine that’s comfortable. Especially with my clinging to him like a koala the whole flight. I stand as tall as I can in the cramped space and set my bag on his seat waiting to exit. I feel around my pockets, double-checking that I have everything. Where is my phone? I bend down to feel around the floor, looking to see if it has fallen between the cracks, and notice it under Sam’s seat. I grab it and pocket it. I stand up and get about halfway, only to come eye-to-eye with Sam’s bare belly button. I peer up, and he’s on his tiptoes in the overhead compartment, trying to wriggle out his duffle bag. 
Sweet Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. With each stretch and pull of him trying to get his bag out, his sweatpants shift further and further down, exposing the band of his Hanes boxers. Fuck off. Honestly. What have I done to deserve this torture? 
I stand as tall as I can and stare right at the bottom of the overhead compartment just as he gets his bag free. God, I need a fucking nap.
“We have to stop at baggage claim.” I remind him as we start to walk single file down the aircraft. 
“Right.” 
We both say goodbye to the stewardesses, both of whom bid Sam a warm farewell and don’t bother to look at me. Lovely.
“I think it's this way.” He says, pointing at the signs. I let him lead the way; if he wants to captain our way through the airport, so be it. My brain is fried, and I don’t even want to be here anyway. We walk down two flights of stairs to a carpeted area at ground level, nine carousels lined up next to each other. He takes a left to one-half of them and points. 
“They said this one.” 
So we wait. And we wait. And we wait some more. 
Bag after bag comes out, none of which are mine. I start to get restless. Stepping from foot to foot. 
“Sam.” I look over at him. I tuck my hair behind my ears and then begin wringing my hands together. “My bag isn’t here.” 
“What do you mean your bag isn’t here?” He drops his duffle off his shoulder with a loud thud.
“I mean, none of these bags are my luggage.” My eyes are wide, and my pulse picks up. “Oh god.” I run my hands over my face and start to pace back and forth in front of him. “What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“Hey, hey, hey.” He calls to me. “Birdie!” finally grabbing a hold of my shoulders and stopping me. “We will go check with the baggage claim office and figure it out. It’ll be fine. Please calm down.”
“Calm down? You want me to CALM DOWN?” I start to raise my voice a bit too loudly for where we are. Even though it’s nearly a ghost town down here for it still being in the middle of the day, I know I’m embarrassing him, but I can’t stop myself in the heat of the moment.
“We're in another state. This is for WORK, and my luggage is gone. I will have nothing to wear to anything they need us to do. I can’t even brush my teeth! And you want me to be CALM?” my chest rises and falls with my rapid breaths. He reaches out and snatches one of my hands and cradles it between both of his. 
“I just meant we’ll figure it out, okay?” 
A frown makes its way to my face, and I just wave him onward to whatever plan he’s internally concocted. He leans down and grabs his duffle bag, and heads off to his destination. 
When he finally reaches the desk for our airline, no one will pay him any attention. All trying to get their own affairs in order before glancing over at him. 
 “Excuse me.” he says and waits. No one looks. “Excuse me.” he tries again, and nothing. Finally, seeing a side of Sam I’ve never seen before, he raises his voice and yells, “Who the hell do I need to talk to to get my girlfriend’s luggage?” and I nearly choke on my own saliva. 
“Sorry sir, what can I do for you.” a petite young woman says to him.
“My girlfriend checked a bag, and it wasn’t at baggage claim. We’re in town for a business trip, and it’s important that she has her luggage. How can we figure out where it is?” My eyes gloss over and my ears start to play static noise at the second mention of ‘girlfriend’. I don’t even hear the rest of the conversation when he shakes me back to reality. 
“They sent it down the wrong track. She said it should be on number 2 instead of 7.” When I fail to move my feet, he questions me. 
“I’m your what now?” I ask him. Girlfriend.
“I just thought they’d take me more seriously if I said that. ‘Coworker who usually hates me and bickers with me all the time’ doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.” he says casually, putting an arm around me and leading me in the direction the receptionist sent him. “Why? Do you think I should have said something else? Fiancee? Wife?” 
“Oh, Sam, for the love of God, please shut up.” I rub my fingers over my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. Yep, I definitely need a nap.
“Damn, okay..” he laughs.
We finally make it to the right carousel and I grab my luggage. Crisis averted. I give him a small thank you, knowing he made it happen but also still being incredibly annoyed by this process. And maybeeee taking it out on him a little bit. Just a little..
We make it to the front entrance, where a man in a suit and cute little hat has a sign that says “Sam Kiszka and Willa Clarke”. He introduces himself as Christian, takes my bag and leads us to his vehicle. I hop into the backseat as Sam and Christian put the luggage in the trunk. When Sam joins me in the backseat, I don’t even bother to open my eyes. 
“He said the hotel is like a half an hour’s drive with the traffic.” He whispers to me. The faint click of his seatbelt follows. I hold up my hand, give him a thumbs up, and try to nap the rest of the way there. 
The ride feels much longer than it actually is, given its bumper-to-bumper traffic. The roads are terrible and bumpy, and he zigzags through the cars, but I try not to pay attention. I wish I had some melatonin so I could just conk out when we get there. Every curve, bump, and honk of the horn grate on my last nerve as I’m pulled from my nap and further thrust into insanity. 
I feel myself barely keeping it together by the time that we get to the hotel. Longing for my PJs, I meet the boys at the trunk to get my luggage. I say thank you to Christian and watch as Sam shakes his hand and stealthily hands him a tip. Even in my half-asleep brain fog, that still makes my stomach flip. Why was that kinda.. Nope, not even going there.
I follow behind Sam, and he opens the door for me. At least he has manners. And we wait our turn to talk to the receptionist at the front desk.
“What name is the reservation under?” He asks. I pull my phone out of my pocket and go searching for the email in my inbox. 
“Says both of us.” I pocket my phone again. 
We step up to the counter, and the young man greets us with a pleasant smile. “Welcome to the Hyatt, I’m Dustin. How can I help you?” His curly hair bounces as he talks. 
“We have a reservation under Sam Kiszka or Willa Clarke,” Sam replies. 
“You’re with the newspapers, right?” 
He shakes his head. 
“You’re in room 422. You’ll head down this way to the elevators, and you’re on floor four.” Dustin says as he slides us our room keys. Sam grabs them, handing me the extra. 
“We have continental breakfast every morning starting at 6 and going until 9 in the morning. We have plenty of amenities, like a pool and fitness center you’re free to use, just use your key to access the rooms. If you need anything else, call down to us from the phone in your room.”
We thank yet another person and make our way to the elevator. Sam presses the correct floor button and I lean against the back wall.
“The home-iest home stretch of all home stretches.” He says to me, and I just glare at him, having depleted my energy for the day. God, I’ve lost the will to bicker with him. 
The elevator dings, and I nearly hear the chorus of angels singing in the distance. My bed is calling me. Well, a bed is calling me. I tote behind Sam like the sleepy toddler I’ve become as he twists and turns his way down the appropriate hallways until he reaches room 422. The golden room. Finally. 
He places the key against the pad, the light turns green, and the sound of it unlocking is music to my ears. He steps inside flicks on the light, and starts hysterically laughing. I’m not even sure I want to know what’s so funny when I ask him, but I do anyway. 
“Why are you laughing?” his tall frame blocking my view of anything as I try to get my suitcase in the door. I shut the door when I’m finally successful, and he’s wiping the tears from his eyes as he continues to roar with laughter. I let go of my luggage handle and step into the light.
“Oh. My. God.” 
Of fucking course, there’s only one bed.
Chapter Six
Chapter 8
Masterpost | Taglist (or reply to be added!)
Taglist (:
@gvfsstardust , @myleftsock , @mindastreamofcolours , @dont-go-home-without-me , @literal-dead-leaf , @lizzys-sunflower , @mackalah , @klarxtr , @edgingthedarkness , @writingcold , @takenbythemadness , @i-love-gvf , @threadofstars , @ladywhimsymoon , @earthgrlsreasy , @peaceloveunitygvf , @violet-hayes , @musicspeaks , @anythingforjtk
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rinsuniverse · 1 year ago
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for this req i didn’t know who to choose so you can choose whether you want to write for woozi seungkwan or soonyoung! I’m a very quiet person and even when I try to raise my voice sometimes I’m not heard so eventually sometimes I just give up on what I’m trying to say, so what do you think one of those boys would do if they had an so like that? do you think they would try to speak up for their so or something else, especially since svt can be very loud… and make sure you’ve eaten today if you haven’t already!
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woozi with a quiet partner! ✧˖°.
this is cute concept and very very real
i myself am quiet (sometimes lmfao), and whenever people talk over me, i kinda just get quiet and give up
since you gave me the option, of course i'm going to choose woozi!
but seungkwan would be your personal megaphone and say everything you say louder so you'll be heard
and soonyoung will listen to you thoughtfully before yelling at everyone to listen to your great idea
woozi would be different since he's quiet and an introvert as well
imagine you're at the recording studio with woozi and the other svt members
the performance unit is in the studio, crowded together to record their song
and they're talking over each other and making jokes
and woozi's letting you take over the recording while he's in the bathroom
you're trying to tell them to focus, but they're laughing a bit too loud to hear you
poor thing
and you don't have the nerve to raise your voice at your idols
and it's not like you to raise your voice at all
suddenly, jihoon reaches over your shoulder and presses the button, sternly saying
"yah. y/n has been trying to tell you to be quiet, and you're too loud to even hear them. are you serious?"
all of a sudden, they're so apologetic and they acknowledge you
and you carry on helping with recording
even though jihoon is sitting next to you, scowling at his members for not respecting you
later, he sends them a text talking about how you're a quiet person and threatening them to always listen to you, especially when he's with you, or else.
for another scenario, you've brought jihoon to hang out with a couple of your friends
and your friends are talking amongst themselves
and you mention a joke for them to hear, but they're so distracted
and you try to say it again, but they still aren't listening
you kinda sigh and give up
but jihoon chuckles and goes, "haha, i guess they aren't listening. that was funny, though."
he makes sure you know he's listening to you
he's not the type to speak up for you, though!!
he might softly ask, "do you want their attention?" and reassure you
"i'm sure they don't mean to ignore you"
he won't mind speaking up for you if you ask tho!
woozi would love having a quiet partner
i can't stress enough how much he would love spending time with you where you both don't even talk and do your own things!
he is the type to get kinda pep talky? does that make sense?
like "you should be more assertive when you say things, you know? you deserve to be heard by everyone. you're funny and smart."
but he loves you for you!
he just wants the best for you!
i can't think of anything else for this idea, i'm so sorry :")
thank you so much for requesting again! feel free to request many, many more things! ✧( ु•⌄• )◞◟( •⌄• ू )✧
(p.s. requests are still open! i specialize in woozi stuff, but i don't mind writing about other svt members! i can also do some nsfw if you want! so request whatever and as much as you want! ς(>‿<.))
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sapphire-heart-tippy · 4 months ago
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pepping myself up and focusing on my mental health healing journey 💙 giving myself affirmations
I will also answer asks in a few days and slowly go back to how things used to be in a few days
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I need to be nicer to myself... I keep being just so... So awful and mean to myself. Sometimes I'm my own worst bully when I should be my own cheerleader.
Vanilla is very proud of me and definitely wants me to be my own cheerleader! He wants me to hype myself up instead of bring myself down! He also hypes me up too, I'm his favorite person in the world 🩵💙💜 and I need to remember that every time I feel down
Bel also very much wants me to build up my confidence little by little. Baby steps! Every tiny step is still a step towards progress!! 🩵💙💜
Whenever I feel left out, sad, upset, anxious, ignored, irritable, start negative self talk, feel rejected, or my fear of abandonment comes out, I need to remember that Vanilla and Bel are very proud of me. I can be my own cheerleader, I can get/make myself gifts to cheer me up(or Vanilla and Bel can "get me gifts"), I can compliment myself, I can get to know myself, I can do things just for me! I can learn how to be my own best friend
I can and will heal! I can roleplay and write and draw my f/os for comfort as much as I want, and they will help me heal 🩵💙💜
I need to repeat some mantras: "I'm doing this for myself." "My feelings are valid even when they feel irrational." "My f/os support me no matter what." "I am worthy of love, affection, and care even when I feel like everyone is ignoring me." "One step at a time." "I am deserving of happiness and comfort."
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I'm not happy. But I'm trying...
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