#ignore the fact that that’s not his left side okay? shhh shh

[checkereddreamsandicecreams]

I went on vacation and forgor how to draw, but music makes it better

[livingkore]

The Perfect Girl (Part 1)

TW: drugs, mention of miscarriage (not reader’s though), curse words, silly grammar mistakes ‘cause English is not my first language.

Notes: This was supposed to be a long one-shot but I got carried away, so there’s gonna be a second part but it’s not gonna be a massive fic. Also this is my first time writing, I guess this is what Eddie Munson does to people, huh. 

"Oh my God, Chrissy, are those the new Nike bike shorts?" Cindy asked dramatically pointing to the girl's legs.

"Yeah..." she giggled "Yeah, my aunt went to Indianapolis last summer and she gave them to me."

"Ah, of course" Cindy laughed uninterested "It must be nice to be able get new clothes, not like Hawkings lastest..."

Y/N couldn't hear anymore of that conversation.Maybe it was the blinding lights in the cheerleading locker room, or maybe she couldn't stand Cindy Davis' attitude,or maybe it was the throwing headache she has been having for a few days that didn't help at all.

She rolled her eyes, she would have to shower at home.

"Are you leaving so soon?" Cindy asked her with a frown on her face.

"I am, I'm not feeling very well, I- maybe I should recover at home, you know, I don't want to be sick for the next match."

"Sure, we can't be all Superman"

'What was that supposed to mean' Y/N asked herself.

"How do you know about Superman?" Janice asked at her side, tying her shoes.

"How could I not?" the leader of the cheerleaders scoffed "Have you seen Christopher Reeve?"

"Yeah, well I'm going, so see y'all later"

"Take care, Y/N" Chrissy said.

--------------

Maybe it was Cindy, after all, because the moment Y/N left the school, she felt much better. Still she chose to walk the long way home through the forest. 

It hadn't been a particularly rough week. In fact, it was Wednesday and still she felt like a Sunday Morning.

Suddenly, she blinked. But it was the longest blink she took.Once she opened her eyes, she saw static everywhere.

Damn, maybe she fell and had a concusion? She couldn't remember.

Her head was spinning and so seemed the ground all around her.

"Hey, hey, hey!" a voice at the distance snapped her out of it.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled.

"What? What for?"

"N-nevermind" In front of her stood no other than Eddie Munson, with a curious and worried look on his face.

"Are you okay? Am I okay? Do I have something on my hair? Why are you looking at me like that?" he carefully touched his long locks.

"N-no, no. What? Like what?"

"Like I've got something on my hair."

"You're fine Munson. I-" She suddenly stopped "You sell drugs, right?"

"Shh, sh, sh, sh, shhh!" he interrupted her "Are you out of your mind? You can't go saying those things!"

"Everyone knows, anyway"

"Everyone except the police, it seems. Why are you-- Oh my god, don't tell me that Hawkins' Sweetheart Y/N L/N is going down a bad path!" he gasped audibly.

"I don't know what are you talking about. I'm not Hawkins' Sweetheart"

"Of course you are... I mean, with the whole cheerleading look and the good grades... and your friends..."Y/N continued walking, not knowing how her body could react to the compliment.

"I have had this headache for days, don't you have anything for that?" she tried to ignore him.

"I'm not a pharmacist, sweetheart. Don't you have an ibuprofen at home?" Eddie the Freak walked by her side.

"It's not doing anything. There is a match next Friday, I can't keep feeling like this."

"Do not fret, L/N. I think I have something that might be able to help".The boy pulled up a ziploc bag out of the pocket of his pants.

"How much is it?" She asked wincing.

"For you? 20 bucks, what do you say? You'll sleep just fine."

"Deal" ------------------------ It's been two days since she last spoke to Eddie Munson and yet she didn't feel any better.

Perhaps because she didn't smoke anything since that last day.

How could she when she had never tried weed before? She was scared of how her body would react and how was she suppossed to roll up a joint?

She sighed, her forehead touching the cold steel of the locker. It's not like she could go and ask him without risking her reputation.

"Hey, why the long face?" Chrissy asked next to her. "We got a match in like half an hour and later Jason is throwing a party, so even if we loose there is no reason to be sad."

"Oh, I don't know about a party Chrissy, I've been tired lately."

"Come on! You're gonna have a great time"

-----------

Y/N sobs could be heard from the hall, but she didn't care. She didn't know at what point she ended up in an empty and dark classroom. The pain was unbearable and it made her extremely photophobic. 

It was alright, though. Her crying got lost over the people cheering Hawkings victory. Or maybe they were already at Jason's.

Suddenly the classroom door open violently making her scream.

"Jesus Christ, L/N. You scared the shit out of me!" a familiar silhouette put his hand on his chest "I thought there was some kind of shapeshifter calling for its prey"

In the entrace stood once again Eddie Munson.

"A-Are you insane?!" she yelled "Are you stalking me, Munson?"

"What? I'm not that of a freak. What are you doing here?"

She passed right next to him, her face illuminated by the moonlight.

"Nothing, I'm leaving." She opened the classroom door.

"Have you been crying?"

"Good night, Munson"

"Wait, can I help you?" She was leaving, dammit. It wasn't time for her body to freeze. "I assume the weed didn't help, right?"

She slowly turned around and with a embarassed whisper confesed:

"I didn't smoke it."

"Why not? Weren't you supposed to smoke it before the match?"

"I don't know how, alright?" she sighed frustrated "I've never smoked, I can't do it alone." The boy smiled tenderly.

"You could have asked, you know. I'm up for a smoke anytime"

"You know I can't" the girl frowned.

"Of course you can, it’s not that-- Oh, I get it." his enthusiasm dissipating in the air "Hawkings Sweetheart can't be seen with Eddie the Freak."

"Don't say it like that" she tried to look anywhere else.

"Like it is?" He raised his eyebrows.

"It's not like that..."

"Then you'd come to smoke one, right?"

"Right now?" It was her turn to raise her eyebrows.

"Yeah, right now. Friday night. I've just finished a campaign and I've got nothing else to do tomorrow."

"Sure, now it's a good time, I guess".

-------

"Ah, here we are." He welcomed her to his trailer "It's not Steven Harrington's house but..."

"I think it's lovely" She smiled not knowing where to look.

"Y-you do?"

"Yeah, I think it's got personality... just like you, actually" she said staring at a couple of beer bottles in the corner.

The silence dominated the conversation for a moment until Eddie exclamed:

"Aha! This is on me, keeep your stash for another day"

Y/N felt like a pigeon entering an office. She didn't know where to face, she had never been in a place like that. It sure wasn't Steve's house, but it still looked like it after a party.

She slowly walked to Eddie's bedroom, where he was waiting for her in a big matress on the floor. His bed.

It was an interesting place, to say the least. A big old amp stood there in a corner while an electric guitar hanged in front of a mirror. She noticed it was the only thing shining in there.

"Come on! I should be the shy one, I didn't expect any visitors. Let alone for Y/N L/N to stood in my room." He said with a cigarette filter in his mouth "Not that you see me complaining".

She looked at the boy, almost remembering he was in the room, and sat in the matress, noticing some stains.

"Yeah, those stains... "Munson looked around for answers "Those stains... I- I don't know what they are. They could be anything, really." Y/N giggled for the first time in the week and she wasn't stoned yet. "I really mean it." he continued "When I said, I didn't expect visitors tonight, I mean. Wasn't Carver throwing a party?"

"Yeah, how do you know?"

"That's my salary right there. Although, I used to make more when Hargrove was around"

"Right." the girl looked at his hands working on the joint "I didn't feel like going"

"Why not? I bet your friends are going to be asking for you tomorrow"

She stared at an Ozzy Osbourn poster that stared back at her with a weird expression.

"No, they are not. I mean... I told Chrissy I wasn't going so..."

"There you go." Eddie handed her the joint and a black lighter and she grabbed them like they burned. Slowly, the cheerleader put the joint between her lips. 

"So now you got to light it" He grinned.

"Hmm... yeah, yeah" she mumbled.

She tried it, once, twice. The lighter didn't go off.

"You don't have to do this, if you don't want to..."

"No, no... I-" she tried once again, and again and nothing. "I can't light it. I think I hurt my finger"

"Here, let me" Eddie took the lighter from her hand quickly checking her index finger didn't have a blister. Then she approached her and lighted the joint in her mouth, his eyes never leaving hers, no matter the proximity. "You gotta inhale now, sweetheart" he smiled.

"Y-yeah" she didn't notice she was holding her breath.

----------

"Have you seen the way Patrick was looking at me after I talked with Jason? He HAS to ask me out now! By the way, I don't recall seeing you at the party last night, Y/N." Cindy looked at her fellow cheerleader demanding an answer.

"I wasn't in the mood for a party, I'm feeling quite bad these days." she closed her locker.

"Yeah, well rumor has it that you left with Eddie the Freak last night, so either you weren't feeling that bad or somebody really hates you"

"What?" Y/N felt the blood leaving her face white as a sheet. "Who told you that?"

"So it was true?" Cindy raised her eyebrows.

"No. I- I saw him walking around but I didn't leave with him"

"That's what I said! As if you would want to do something with that freak, ew."

---------

"The Cure? Never would have thought, you'd like a band like that" commented Eddie laying down in the matress with Y/N.

It's been like that for several weeks. After Hellfire, the Dungeon Master would left his friends at their homes and return to an already waiting Y/N, in her cheerleading uniform.

"Why not? They make a great mood for crying and dancing" she, just like him, was staring at the ceiling. "I never took you for a Cure fan. I thought you were into, I don't know, Scorpions?"

"Well what can I say" he looked at her "They make a great mood for crying and dancing" 

The Perfect Girl started sounding all around the trailer and Eddie screamed excitingly.

"What's wrong?" Y/N suddenly looked at him.

"I love this song! It makes me want to dance." Clumsily he stood up from the matress and offered her his hand "Would you do me the honor, sweetheart?"

"W-what?" She giggled."Come on! It's a short one, let's dance!"

"I don't dance, Eddie"

"Are you bullshiting me?” he scoffed “You, Y/N L/N, Hawkins Sweetheart, don't dance, huh? You're a fucking cheerleader, for fuck's sake. Come on and humor me"

"I don't know..."

"Pleasee" He pouted and put his hands togehter like he was praying "Pretty please?"

"Fine" she smiled and stood up with the help of his hand.

Eddie put one hand on Y/N's shoulder and the other on her waist, but because it wasn't a slow song he started moving her all around the room.

"YOU ARE SUCH, SUCH, SUCH A STRANGE GIRL, THE WAY YOU LOOK LIKE YOU DO" the boy half-sang, half-shouted.

Maybe it was the butterflies in her stomach, or the weed kicking in but she couldn't stop laughing. Y/N realized she couldn't remember the last time anyone made her laugh like that. She decided she could live in that moment forever.

"Oh, Eddie...!" she tried to speak.

"Hey, I forgot to tell you!" he exclamed over the song "You should come to the next campaign, it's gonna be sick."

Suddenly she felt it, again. The headache. She froze in the spot like someone had throw her a bucket of cold water. The song, totally forgotten. Eddie noticed the change in her behavior.

"Are you okay?" he frowned.

"No"

"What's the problem?"

"No, I'm sorry, but you know I can't go." she felt her words like venom in her mouth. It got silent between them.

"I... get it." Eddie barely said but changed back his tone again "Yeah, no problem, it's not big deal."

She thought that saying no was painful enough, but seeing the pain in the boy's eyes, made her feel even worse.

"I gotta go, Eddie. I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything when she grabbed her things quickly and clumsily.

She didn't know if he was angry or just dumbfounded. 

She didn't turn back to check on him.

Why did she feel like that? A month long headache was already pain enough.

------------

Damn, why did she feel like that? Ever since that day, Y/N and Eddie didn't speak to each other again. She would see him around with his chaotic energy, messing with his freshman friends, but that was it.They didn't speak again and he seemed unbothered by it. She didn't know how could he always be so energetic, if supposedly he was always so stoned, but she couldn't care less.

Y/N was the one bothered but she still didn't know if it was because Eddie looked happy or because she missed him.Or maybe it was because the headaches returned, and this time she felt a voice calling her name every now and then.

Could she be having a withdrawal? Nobody ever told her anything and it wasn't like she could go and ask Eddie. No matter what was the cause, she still felt upset. Being able to hang out with Eddie, raised her standards to a point where she didn't find herself being part of a conversation about Jason's last party, or Gucci lastest collection. 

And all of it was gone. And it wasn't, because everytime she would see the metalhead around the halls, the wound would open again.

And then it happend again. The damn headache. Maybe she was getting weaker or maybe it was getting stronger, but it made her hear things, like a bell at a distance. She tried to focus, one step at a time, little by little but the nausea was growing rapidly.

Hawkins' sweetheart, left her bag in the middle of the halls and ran towards the toilettes, like her life depended on it.

-----------------

"Eddie!" She exclamed knocking the trailer's door. "Eddie, open up for God's sake!"

What would anyone say if they saw Y/N L/N in her cheerleading uniform, in front of Eddie The Freak's trailer screaming for more drugs. That was why she was there, of course.

The sun was going down. It wasn't like anyone would ask for her, but it still wasn't safe for anyone to be wandering around those places. After all, it was common knowledge that Hawkins was cursed.

She sat down at the entrance, sobbing with her head between her knees. Of course, Eddie wasn't home. He was probably having fun with some nerds, or with his band or maybe he was at a girl's house...

"Y/N? Y/N L/N?" a female voice said. Just great. Not only the headaches were back, Eddie probably hated her and she ran out of weed, but now she has been discovered.

The cheerleader looked up to see a red-haired girl with headphones on looking at her like she was an alien.

"What?" she said agressively, tears drying on her cheeks.

"I- Jesus, I just came to say that today is a campaign day, so Munson is going to be late."

"Sorry... and... excuse me- do we know each other?"

"Well, no -I mean yes. I-" she sighed and rolled her eyes. "You're Y/N L/N, everybody knows you. I don't know if you've seen me but I'm Max. I'm Billy's sist- step-sister" she corrected herself.

"Oh yeah... yeah, I've seen you around in his car" Y/N gaze softened "I'm so sorry about Billy... he-"

"Yeah, yeah" Max tried to dismissed it "Don't worry 'bout it. I won't tell anyone I've seen you."The oldest girl looked surprised. 

"Thanks. I owe you one."

"No, you don't. Anyway, gotta go. Nice to meet you, Y/N." 

----------

She felt herself falling asleep in class. 

When was the last time she slept without nightmares? 

Everything was turning blurry around her. She tried to follow her professor's voice, but it wasn't making any sense.

Then she heard it once, she heard it twice.The bells. It didn't make any sense, but it felt so real, until it didn't. 

Suddenly the bells turned into a tap on her back.She felt it once, she felt it twice. She turned around and whipered loudly:

"What?" Only to find out it was no other than Eddie the one throwing her paper balls.

Time stood still and so did they. She wanted to scream, to say sorry but also to tell him to go to hell, that it wasn't the moment.

"We need to ta-"

"No, we don-"

"Mayfield told--"

"Is there anything you would want to share with the class, L/N, Munson?" The strong voice of the professor proyected through the whole classroom.

"No, professor" The girl started "We're sorr-"

"Actually yes, professor" interrupted Eddie making her stare at him in horror "I was telling Y/N how boring this class is and the many things I'd be doing if I wasn't here wasting my time."

"That's enough, Munson. Stay after class."

"What?" Y/N almost yelled in shock at the boy's behavior.

"I said 'stay after class'" The professor misundertood her "and you too, miss. No extracurricular class after this, you'll be staying here doing homework. When I was your age adults were respected."

She could hear the fellow cheerleaders gasp in horror, as she hid her head between her arms.

After the bell rang, the students practically ran to their bikes or cars, not wasting one more minute in the building. Y/N felt the presence of her so called friends standing next to her seat.

"How dare he?" started Cindy with anger in her tone.

"It was so unfair!" continued Chrissy.

"Your reputation can't be stained by someone like Eddie the Freak!" exclamed Janice.

"Not for long" Cindy smiled venomusly "Let me take care of it, Y/N. And next time be more careful, would you? Jan is right, they touch you, they'll be touching Hawkins reputation. Don't forget it."

"Right, I'm sorry" The girls left Y/N alone in the room and she sighed almost relieved.

"Damn, what is Cindy gonna do? Hang me on a basketball net?" Eddie's voice startled the cheerleader, making her turn around in surprise.

"Fuck, Munson. You were there the whole time?"

"Of course, I got to stay too." He stood up and sat down on the seat next to her. "So it's Munson again, huh?"

"It's Munson because you've got me into trouble" she clenched her jaw, upset.

"Yeah, well I was running out of ideas on how to talk to you."

"You-- are you serious?"

"I can hear you from here, you know?" The professor said from his desk "If you don't have any homework to do, which I doubt, let me finish marking this exams in peace, please."

"Sorry, professor" Y/N said and turned to the boy again, this time speaking in a lower volume "What is your problem?"

"What is my problem? What's yours?" Eddie asked concerned "Mayfield told me you were crying in front of my door for a whole hour the other day, and now you don't even look at me."

"Mayfie-- oh you mean Billy's  sister?" she sighed frustrated "She told me she wasn't going to tell anyone."

“And she didn’t. But she had to tell me, you know. What's going on?"

"I don't want to talk about it, now" she looked to the blackboard, trying to avoid the topic.

"Come on, it's got to be someth-"

"I ran out of..." she lifted her eyebrows.

"What?"

"I ran out o--"

"Oh, I got that part." he said and thought for a moment "Ok, bare with me, here for a moment. You're telling me that you went all over to my house, sat down on the entrance crying and screaming my name because you've ran out of you-know-what?"

"Yeah..."

"Hmm... no. I don't think I buy it, I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I said that I don't buy it."

"Well, I don't care, Munson" Y/N said firmly.

"Excuse me?" He scoffed.

"I don't care, if you don't believe me. All I know is that I'm going to be needing something stronger than..." she coughed "...after today"

"Something stronger?"

"Yeah, you've got something stronger right?" Eddie stared at her with guilt in his eyes.

"I- I don't know if I feel like selling you something stronger, Y/N"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not sure it's a good idea..."

"You got me into trouble just because, you're in no position to talk about good ideas"

"Then it might be the best idea ever, but I won't sell you anything other than... yeah..."

"I hate you"

"You're breaking my heart sweetheart" he dramatically put a hand on his chest.

--------

Y/N woke up that night, a jolt of electricity running through her body.

There it was again. Another nightmare. It was always the same one. 

She was in the kitchen changing her mother's pills, what could go wrong?

'Stop!' she internally exclamed. 

She had enough.

The cheerleader opened her bedroom window and looked down to the street. If boys like Steve and Billy used to escape from the window all the time, why couldn't she? It couldn't be that hard, right? 

One, two, three. She bit her tongue and aimed for the bushes. With a hump, she fell on her left side and stood there for a few seconds, getting used to the pain on the left side of her waist. Once she got up, she grabbed her bike and off she went to the trailer park.

About five minutes later, reality started sinking in Y/N's head as the breeze caressed her face.

What was the plan? Going at who-knows-what-hour of the night at Eddie Munson's place in her pajamas on her bike? She didn't even have money! He was probably asleep, and even if he wasn't, what would he say? What would she say? Numerous escenarios played in the girl's head and none of them left her standing with dignity.

Once she arrived, she threw the bike on the ground and ran to the familiar trailer.

"Hey, Eddie. I'm sorry for-- no, hey Eddie! Long time no see-- no, no. Eddie, I don't know why I always keep returning to this place-- Y/N, be nice... Munson, I hate you and you're ruining The Cure for me so please--" 

She stood frozen in place mid-sentence. The door was open, and the van was nowhere in sight. She thought about it, but curiosity got the best of her and she opened the door.

The whole place was a mess. More of a mess than usual.

Did they rob the trailer?

"Eddie" she barely mumbled "Eddie, are you okay? It's me, It's-- oh my god---"

What she saw next made no sense. She surely was still dreaming that horrible nightmare.What other rational explanation was to the broken body on the floor?

A body? That wasn't just a body. 

She felt her limbs getting weaker. 

Y/N could recognise those new Nike bike shorts anywhere.

Like a sleepwalker, she got out of the house, somehow. With shaky hands she grabbed the bike and returned home, the adrenaline pumping through her veins, making her heart beat incredibly fast. 

She couldn't think anything other than getting home, even though she wasn’t entirely sure what she saw.

[krispytidalwavesheep]

Lilith takes care of a very Hurt!reader (romantic if possible) ty! If you need a word prompt: "Breathe."

Hello! I hope you like what I wrote to your prompt, but I will probably rewrite some parts in the morning, because I am not satisfied with some parts, but my brain isn’t working properly right now, since it’s the middle of the night!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You know, you wouldn't have to go through all this if you just answered our questions,” one of the persons that took you asked. You didn't know how much time had passed since they abducted you. Although the reason why they did it was pretty obvious. You and Lilith were kind of an item, even though you weren't exactly in a relationship. She would come to you whenever she had the need, to sleep with you or just to talk to you. She was an immortal being, especially after she drank Lucifer's blood, which brought her just so much farther out of reach. You loved her, with all your heart, but you were nothing, compared to her. Just a mere witch, with no special power whatsoever. You honestly wondered how Lilith even noticed you, never mind liking you enough to talk to you and sleep with you.

Some of the demons still on Lucifer's side noticed how much time you two spent together, and decided to get to Lilith through you. They tortured you for information, but no matter what they put you through, you would never betray her. You loved her, and that's reason enough for you. And she got betrayed by so many people, it was high time that someone didn't do it and protected her. So you kept your mouth shut, taking everything they gave you, enduring all that pain and fear until it felt that nothing else was left of you.

“She will never come for you, so why don't you tell us what we want to know, and we will set you free.”

“I am not an idiot,” you pant, wheezing with pain and fear, “I know that she will never come for me.”

“Then why do you keep silent? She doesn't love you, you are just a toy!”

“Yeah well, I know all that, so you should continue torturing me with stuff that really hurts,” you hear yourself say. Even you didn't know where that boldness was coming from.

“Why do you keep silent for her, when she doesn't care one bit about what is happening to you?”

“Because I love her. Simple as that. I'd rather die than let you asshats get to her. So what if I am just her toy? I don't mind. I'll take what I can get. I don't care that she doesn't love me, because I do love her and I'd rather die than let anything happen to her!” you growl, staring them right in the eyes. You were scared shitless, that was obvious, but still. No fear and no pain in all the worlds would make you betray Lilith.

“Humans are stupid creatures. If you don't want to talk, we will find a way to make you,” one of them said and you closed your eyes. Partly out of fear but mostly, because you just gave up. No one would come for you. Of course, it hurt, but you knew from the very beginning that Lilith would never feel the same about you.

“And what do we have here?” an all too familiar voice asked and your eyes flew open. It couldn't be!

“Lilith!” one of the demons spat and his friends came over to form a circle around you. But they were underestimating her since they still thought she was stripped of all her powers. It didn't take long for them to fall like flies and Lilith rushed over to where you were chained, fear evident in her eyes.

“Hey,” you say stupidly and to your utter horror, sobs of pain and relief escape your throat as soon as your eyes fully connect.

“It's okay now, love, I am here. You are safe!” Lilith whispered and gently pulled you against her chest. You must be dreaming. There is no other explanation for that. Lilith would never come to save you, you weren't that important.

“I must have gotten mad!” you cry into her shoulder because a hallucination is still better than nothing.

“What are you talking about?” Lilith asked and you groggily look up to her. Fear shone through her beautiful eyes and you wondered why.

“You would never come to save me. You don't love me back,” you slurred but put a weak and bloodied hand against her face. The hallucination of Lilith is crying now, looking at you with so many emotions in her eyes. Fear, sorrow, relief, tenderness, and confusion.

“You are an idiot. An utter fool. Of course, I love you, or else I wouldn't have moved heaven and hell, literally, to find you!”

“I wish this was real,” you whisper, feeling your consciousness fade away. Maybe you finally outlived your usefulness and they killed you. But why did dying hurt so much?

Every bone in your body was on fire. Your lungs constricted and you couldn't breathe. What was happening? You hear their voices again, haunting you, hurting you. You saw the knives and all the other things they stuck into your body to make you bleed. To get information.

“Shh shhh it's okay, I am here, you are safe... Breathe, just breathe...” a soothing voice whispered through the fog in your brain.

“No...don't hurt me, please! I don't know anything! Just let me go!” you scream and awaken with a start. The first thing you noticed was that you weren't bound anymore. The next instinct was to flee, so you jumped, ignoring the pain your body was in, ignoring the fact that you couldn't breathe. You didn't make it very far before strong arms wrapped around you. Which made your panic even worse until you registered the voice that belonged to the arms holding you tight, urging you to breathe.

You knew that voice, and you knew that this voice meant safety, so you relaxed a bit, and tried to match your breathing with theirs.

“Lilith?” you ask cautiously, still fearing that this was all just a dream.

“Yes love, it's me. It's okay, you are safe now...” Lilith's voice sounded strange. You gently turned around to see her crying, with a look of utter relief on her face.

“You came!” you sobbed and threw yourself into her arms.

“Of course I did! Do you have any idea how scared I was when I couldn't find you? And how terrified for you I was when I did?”

“But I don't understand,” you mumbled and looked at her with confusion. Why did she save you?

“I heard what you said to them, right before I walked in. You were so brave my love. You have no idea how much it means to me that you protected me,” Lilith whispered and pulled you close, or as close as your injuries allowed, “I heard everything you said to them, and how on earth did you get the idea that I don't love you?”

“Uhm... I don't know? You never said anything...” you mumbled, cuddling close to Lilith.

“Neither did you... But... I do love you... I wouldn't have told you so much about me if I didn't...” Lilith whispered and you buried your face in her wild mane. Then the realization of what Lilith just said hit you, and you started sobbing. Lilith started sobbing too, kissing every inch of you that she could reach while she whispered “I was so scared that I would never see you again. That I lost you. And when I found you, you were covered in wounds. Wounds you got because of me. I was terrified when I saw what they did to you, and how close I came to lose you. That won't happen ever again. You will become my princess and no one will dare to lay a finger on you, or they will be burned in a fire that is way worse than hellfire. No one hurts the one I love without consequences...”

[love-and-monsters]

Wyvern Prince 7

Content warning: Fire, serious burns and injury

Everything smelled like smoke.

It was a smell you were intimately familiar with. In the winter, the servants had to tend to the fires in the castle, which usually left you smelling like smoke and soot. Even when you weren’t directly tending the flames, you spent most of your nights near them, trying to keep warm. The smoke smell was only made worse by the fact that no one particularly liked bathing in winter. Heating water was a pain and it was practically torture to bathe in the mostly melted snow brought in from outside, so the smell of smoke constantly clung to everyone’s hair and body.

The smell was so familiar that your first instinct to it was to roll over and go back to sleep. But as you kicked at your covers, you realized that it was warm. Too warm for winter. Also, it wasn’t winter. It was fall. And the smoke smell was so thick that it was kind of hard to breathe.

You sat upright. The air was choked with smoke. It was so thick you could only see the outline of the door. Hazy yellow light flickered beyond the smoke. Your eyes watered and stung. Coughs sputtered out of your chest as your body realized the air was bad to breathe.

Fire. The servants’ quarters were on fire. You rolled out of bed, trying to stay below the thick haze above you. It was barely helpful. The smoke had mostly filled your room. Coughs shook your body as you crawled on your belly to the door.

Outside was worse. The heat radiated against your body and you could hear wood creaking and groaning. Smoke filled the air so thickly that you couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of you. Your only indications of where the fire was were the glowing patches that grew and grew the longer you hesitated. You turned your head toward the exit and your stomach turned. A glowing patch of fire was spreading there.

The ceiling groaned. Before you could even look up, glowing chunks of wood showered your back and head. The ceiling groaned again, louder this time, and there was an ominous snap.

No time to crawl. You scrambled to your feet and bolted for the relative safety of anywhere else not under the collapsing ceiling.

It caved in, collapsing in a shower of burning wood, ash, and smoke. A flaming log slammed against your leg and you screamed as it seared your calf. The scream caught in your throat and your coughing turned into choking. You’d inhaled something hot and it was searing your chest from the inside out. Your leg wouldn’t carry you anymore, so you sank to the ground and started to drag yourself.

The pain in your leg was staggering. You couldn’t focus on anything. Every motion that jostled your leg made you sick.

Something nearby groaned and a burning timber fell out of the smoke at you. You flinched and rolled, but the edges of its flames caught your arm. Pain exploded up the left side of your body. You barely had time to see your sleeve catch alight before you were banging it out against the floor. The fire sputtered and died, but the new pain was making you dizzy. The smoke wasn’t helping.

You dragged yourself forward. Out. You needed to get out. Where was the exit? The smoke was so thick you couldn’t even tell where you were anymore. You just had to keep going. Keep crawling.

The hand you were using to drag yourself forward hit something. As you hauled yourself forward, you realized what it was. A wall. You had pulled yourself to a wall.

You scrambled to turn around, but it was so hot and you were so dizzy. The glow of the fire spread all around you. Even if you had the strength to drag yourself out, you didn’t know which way to go. The smoke was too thick and choking. You could barely even get a breath between coughs. It was hard to breathe. It was hard to think. You just wanted to lie down.

You slumped to the floor. Coughs and sobs mixed together as tears poured into the ash on the floor. You were so dizzy and it was so hot. Please, please, let it be over fast.  “Sara!” Someone was yelling your name. The sound echoed all around you. “Sara!” You tried to speak. It came out as a weak croak.

“Sara!” A figure emerged from the smoke. It was shadowed and you couldn’t make out much through your streaming eyes. It was tall, you could see that. And it had… horns. And a tail.

“Sire?” you croaked. The figure crouched and slipped the cloak off its shoulders, laying it over your body.

“It’s all right. You’re going to be fine,” the prince said. His voice was slightly raspy.

“You… sh-shouldn’t…be…” It was too hard to speak. Your chest and throat burned from your constant coughing. Everything hurt.

The prince lifted you in his arms. His cloak covered most of your body, but your head lay on his shoulder. “It’s okay. Just shhh.” He turned and started walking purposefully through the flames.

You were starting to fade in and out. A cool breeze on your face pulled you back to reality. You were outside. It was night. The moon hung overhead. There was dampness in the air. You were alive.

The prince took you away from the burning wreckage and carried you into the shadow of the castle. “Oh, Sara,” he whispered. “It’s going to be okay now. It’s all right.”

It didn’t feel all right. You couldn’t stop coughing, thick, heavy coughs that stuck in your chest. One of them seemed to lodge sideways in your throat and you rolled off the prince’s lap just in time to retch up bile.

The prince tugged you back toward him. “Shh. It’s all right.” There was a catch in his voice, a little shiver. “I promise, you’ll be okay.”

Something splashed on your face, then again on your injured arm. It made the burning go oddly numb. Was it raining? But the sky had been so clear…

It was too hard to think and it hurt too much to be awake. You drifted back and the world faded away.

You woke slowly, mostly because of the awful burning in your arm and leg. They demanded attention. Gradually, reluctantly, you opened your eyes.

The ceiling above you was not the stone ceiling of the medic ward, but a rich, red curtain. You were in a bed. A bed surrounded on all sides by red curtains. A bed you recognized.

You were in the prince’s bed.

Your first instinct was to get out as fast as humanly possible, but your failed at step one: sit up. Your head swam and your vision went gray. With a pillowy fwumph you fell back into the bed.

Someone outside the curtains stirred. Just as you turned your head toward the sound, the curtains flew open and the prince looked down at you.

“You’re awake.” Relief saturated his voice. “I was worried it hadn’t been enough.”

It was hard to talk. Your chest and throat burned and it took you several tries before you could make any coherent noises. “What?”

The prince sat down on the bed next to you. “Do you remember anything that happened?”

“Fire,” you said. Oh yes, you could remember the fire. Your arm and leg burned worse at the memory.

“You were trapped inside.”  The prince stared at the ground. “I pulled you out, but you were already hurt.”

“Why’m I here?” you asked. “Should be… in med room.”

 A guilty look crossed the prince’s face. “Ah… Well. About that.” He pulled at the hem of his sleeve. He was fully dressed, you realized, at the same moment you realized that you were still in your nightdress. If you hadn’t been in so much pain, you might have been embarrassed. “You can’t go to a medical examiner.”

“Why not?” It was getting easier to speak the more you did so, though there was still a grating edge to your voice.

“I’ll show you.” The prince pulled the covers of the bed down and revealed your left arm. The sleeve of your nightdress had been completely torn away and what now covered your skin was a layer of white bandages. With careful, gentle motions, the prince took your arm and started to unwrap the bandages.

Underneath them was a sea of red and white flesh. Anything that wasn’t hot and inflamed was blistered. The mass of burns spread from your elbow to the back of your hand, covering nearly half your forearm in damaged skin. You felt dizzy just looking at it. “Sire, that seems like a fairly good case for seeing a medic,” you said.

The prince ignored you. Instead, he pulled your arm closer to him and bent as though he was going to whisper something to it. His hair fell and blocked your view of him as he bent over your arm.

And then you felt the soft touch of his lips on your skin. You went stiff and still. His lips pressed to your skin for just a moment before withdrawing and you could swear you even felt his tongue touch you before he broke contact. Oddly enough, the skin under his mouth didn’t hurt when he touched you. It just went a little numb and tingly.

The prince kissed his way up along the burn until the entire thing had numbed. Then he sat back, brushing his hair away from his face. “Look,” he said.

You looked at the burn. The blisters were smaller. Slightly, but they were definitely not as pronounced as they had been only a moment before. No, they weren’t just smaller, you realized as you watched. They were shrinking. And the skin had moved a shade away from red toward pink.

When the blisters had finished shrinking, they were only half their original size, and a few had even vanished entirely. “How did you do that?” you rasped. You prodded at the skin and earned a sharp sting of pain for your trouble. “Ow!”

The prince pulled your hand away from your arm. “Careful. It’s not healed yet. It takes a few passes to completely fix severe injuries.”

“But how did you do that?” you asked again. The prince grimaced and glanced around.

“You can’t tell anyone that I did this,” he said in an undertone. “No one. Do you understand?”

You nodded. “Of course, sire.”

The prince gave a strained smile. “All right. All wyverns are natural shapeshifters, yes? That is how we can assume a human form. Or any form we want, really. But we have another ability that we have been rather reluctant to share with humans.”

“You can heal,” you said. The prince nodded.

“All of our bodily fluids have healing properties. Tears, saliva, blood. All of them can be used to heal injuries and even disease. It is something we have been reluctant to share with humans.”

“Because you’re afraid we would hurt you?” you asked. The prince gave a small nod.

“Even in the best case scenario, even if your royalty outlawed hunting us, there would still be humans who hunt us out of desperation. It would devastate us.”

“But you risked the secret to help me anyway,” you said.

“I risked it to save you,” the prince said. “I don’t believe you would have survived without help. Your lungs were damaged from smoke inhalation too. And your leg…” He hesitated for a moment, looking vaguely sick. “It was bad.”

“Let me see.” You sat up, pulling at the covers. Your nightdress was torn and burned around the hem, pulling up above your knees. From the knee down, one of your legs was wrapped in bandages.

“Ah.” The prince twisted your leg, holding you by the ankle. “The blisters are weeping.”

Yellow fluid leaked through the back of your bandage. The combination of that and the sickening pain from the burn was really turning your stomach. “Oh.” You swallowed hard.

“Don’t look,” suggested the prince. He started to unwrap the bandages. “I don’t know too much about human medicine, but I should still be able to heal most of this regardless.”

Air stung against the burn as the prince finished unwrapping the bandages. You shuddered. “I know,” the prince murmured. “I’ll be as fast as possible, I promise.” He licked his fingers and kneaded them against the wound. You groaned. The area his fingers touched became numb, but there was an ache the numbing agent didn’t seem to be able to reach. It felt like the burn went deeper into your leg than the one on your arm.

“It’ll be over in a moment, I promise. Just hold on a little longer,” the prince said. “I know this is a little slow. Tears would be more effective, but I’m afraid I never learned to cry on command.” He lowered your leg back to the bed. “That should be enough for now.”

“Thank you, sire,” you said.

The prince smiled as he stood. “Please. I have told you one of the greatest secrets of my people. You may as well call me by my name.”

“I shouldn’t sire. It’s-”

He held up a hand. “I really would prefer it. You don’t have to do it in front of anyone else. Please, just call me Davrakoss.”

“If you wish it, s- Davrakoss,” you said. The prince smiled.

“I’ll get some bandages and redress your wounds.” He walked out of your sight and returned a moment later with bandages and some water. “Here. Drink. You must be thirsty.”

You hadn’t noticed, but as soon as the water touched your lips, you discovered that you were parched. The glass was drained in seconds. “I’ll get you some more in a minute,” the prince said, unfurling a roll of bandages. He lifted your leg and started to rewrap it.

It hurt. Every touch was agony. You had to bite your lip to hold back a cry of pain. The prince hurried, but it still took him well over a minute to get the bandages in place. “I’m sorry,” the prince said as he tucked the bandages in place. “I know it hurts. I still need to do your arm. Are you-”

“Just get it over with.” No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t keep your voice from sounding like it was on the edge of tears. The prince nodded and took your arm.

The arm wasn’t half as bad as the leg, but it was still pretty bad. You still didn’t scream, but you couldn’t help a few gasps and moans of pain. The prince murmured apologies every time you made a sound. “I’m sorry, just a little longer. I know it hurts. It’ll be over soon.”

Finally, the prince finished with the bandages and sat back. “That’s over. I wish I could do more for the pain.”

“S’okay.” Your voice was growing raspier every time you spoke and your chest stung. The prince winced at your gravely tone.

“I’m afraid your chest is harder to fix, since I can’t apply anything to it directly. You’re fortunate I managed to cry last night when I pulled you out or I might not have managed to help as much as I did.”

“It’s okay,” you insisted. “You already helped so much. I can’t ever thank you enough.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I’m glad I can heal you. I don’t know how I’d manage if something happened to you.”

“You are a bit helpless in human politics,” you said. The prince grinned.

The silence between you was broken by a rather ominous growl from your stomach.

The prince stood. “You must be starving. You’ve not eaten in a while. I’ll get you something.” Before you could say anything, he left the room.

When he returned, he was balancing a tray. “This feels a little ironic,” he said as he walked back over to the bed. You gave a weak smile as he carefully set it down next to you.

“You could have asked another servant to get this,” you said.

“I am trying to make sure no one else knows you’re here,” he said. “And there aren’t as many servants around as there usually are.”

A cold shiver dropped into the pit of your stomach. “How many people died?” Your voice was clipped and detached.

“Three, last I heard. Two were lost in the fire. One succumbed to their injuries a few hours ago. Quite a few were injured. A few are still on the edge of death.” Davrakoss stared down at the bed. He pulled and picked at the hem of his sleeve. “I went to see some of them earlier, when I was sure you were stable. I did my best to help them without anyone seeing me, but I don’t know if it was enough.”

“There’s nothing more you could do?” you asked. “They’re going to die.”

Davrakoss passed a hand over his face. His fingers were trembling. “I can’t. I cannot risk letting humans know about our healing abilities. I am the prince of my people. I can’t justify risking all of our safety to save a few human lives.”

You sagged back into bed. “I… understand.” And you did. He had his duty to his people and he was bound to them. Even if it hurt him, he still had responsibilities. “And I’m sorry.”

Davrakoss put a hand over yours. It was warm and soft. “Thank you.” His fingers tightened for a moment and he gave you a warm smile. Your breath caught and warmth fluttered in your chest. It was far too pleasant a feeling to be related to your injuries.

His hand slid from yours. “You should focus more on yourself,” he said. “Here.” He pushed the tray toward you. “Eat.”

Now that it was closer to you, you could smell everything. Davrakoss had clearly gotten a human meal. There was a large chunk of bread and butter (butter!), some sort of roasted root vegetable, a chunk of pork stuffed with a mash of vegetables, and a cookie with molasses. You could feel yourself drooling.

“Take it easy,” Davrakoss said as you dove into the meal. “You’re already having trouble breathing. I don’t want you to choke.” You made a vague noise of assent and slowed down only the tiniest amount.

You weren’t able to eat as much as you wanted. The food was rich and heavy and getting through even half of it strained your limits. Davrakoss sat next to you the entire time, looking around passively while you ate. When you finished, he took the tray and set it on his table before returning to your bed.

“Are you still feeling all right?” he asked. You nodded. “Nothing hurts?”

You lifted the shoulder of your good arm in a shrug. “My arm and leg hurt.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do more,” Davrakoss said. “Applying the healing too much can cause worse damage.” He brushed some of his hair back from his face. “You’re going to have to stay off your feet for another day. Just to let your leg heal.”

“People are going to ask about me,” you said.

“I’ve been covering for you. I told them you made it out and were keen on continuing work. With any luck, no one will be suspicious.”

“Where do you want me to sleep?’ you asked. Davrakoss blinked at you in confusion.

“In the bed?” he asked, voice tilting up. “You’re already in it.”

Your face burned. “Sire, I can’t take your bed.”

“Davrakoss,” he corrected. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve slept outside for most of my life. The floor here would be luxurious for me.” You frowned. “Be at ease. It truly is no concern for me. I would much rather you heal than I have a bed.”

You tried to inhale and your breath caught. Thick, choking coughs erupted from your chest. You doubled over and Davrakoss rubbed your back until you slumped back, wheezing. “We shouldn’t be arguing. You need your rest.” His fingers brushed your hair, then he withdrew his hand sharply. “Ah. Er. Rest. And yell if you need anything.” He stood and gripped the curtains, then hesitated and leaned back toward you. “And don’t hesitate if you do need something.” He leaned away again and slid the curtains closed.

[lovelilijazunde]

And It All Fell Down, Part 2.

Fic: And It All Fell Down, Part 2.

Writer’s Note: This is, as you can probably tell, a Part 2 of the fanfic that I wrote for @deafgirl-and-hercoven ‘s Heir AU. I worked on this one with her, and I had a blast doing it!

Ships: Romantic Demus/Dukeceit

Warnings: Depression (in the past), random words in all caps, broken limb (off screen) (Again, if anything needs to be retagged, please tell me!) 

Word Count: 2866

Summary: Princess, Deceit and Remus’s greatest secret, has just been revealed to the other Sides and Thomas. Also, a conversation was greatly overdue.

Princess blinked. Suddenly she wasn’t in Remus’s  lovingly comforting embrace anymore, where he had pulled her into his arms after Deceit had disappeared from right in front of her with no warning. She was cold, and something was hurting, and there were strangers looking at her. Too many people - where did they come from - where was she? She whimpered, curling in on herself, scanning her surroundings, searching the strange new figures for a familiar face. She spun in a circle, and then stopped, with a feeling of relief amongst the panic that was washing over her. She darted into Deceit’s arms, crying.

“Mommy!”

“MOMMY?!” the others echoed in varying levels of shock and confusion. Then they all started talking over each other, asking questions “How?” and ”When?” and ”Why?”. The voices swirled around Princess, loud and harsh-sounding, causing her to bury her face even deeper into Deceit’s shirtfront. He hugged her with fierce protective love, bringing out all of his arms to do so, ignoring the horrified looks he got from the others, completely concentrating on his daughter as she whimpered. 

His baby girl, his special care, his princess . . . no, no, no, don’t cry,  he wanted to whisper, it’s going to be okay. But what if it wasn’t? What if-

Remus popped up, looking panicked and disheveled. He had gone to comfort Princess, only to have her snatched out of his arms by an invisible force. Upon locating his daughter, his eyes at first softened with relief, then melted with heartbreak. His baby girl was crying into his boyfriend’s shirtfront with terror, and he wanted to protect her, to make whatever had done that to her hurt and bleed. He knew what had done it though, and he knew he couldn’t do that to Thomas - curse object impermanence, his child was TERRIFIED and he wanted to DO SOMETHING.

Princess was crying, loud, gasping, chocking sobs.

“Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, why did you g-go?! Did you not - not love me anym-more?! Why was I taken away f-from Daddy? Where a-are w-we?”

Deceit ran his gloved fingers through Princess’s hair calmingly. “Shhh, shhh, it’s okay, sweetie, it’s okay, shhh, Mommy’s here. Shhh, shh, you’re going to be fine. Hey, look at me, Princess, look at me.” 

Princess raised her reddened eyes up to meet Deceit’s own, tears still falling down her cheeks, but slower now. She was hiccuping as she tried to choke her tears back.

“Remember that Mommy loves you very, very much, okay? And so does Daddy. You don’t have to cry, it’s all okay. It’s all going to be okay.” He kissed her forehead before shifting slightly to the side to allow her to see the rest of the room. “Remember when Daddy and I were talking about Thomas and the other Sides?”

“Uh huh,” Princess murmured softly, recovering slightly. She blinked at the other occupants of the room shyly.

Deceit pointed at Thomas. “Well, Thomas summoned you. And Mommy, too, We have a VERY important job to do.” He said, bopping her lightly on the nose. She gasped. One last tear rolled own her cheek, unnoticed.

“I’m a Side too?! Like you and Butt?”

“Pardon me, but who is ‘Butt’?” Logan interjected, grimacing.

Princess stared at him, wide-eyed for a moment as if startled by his voice, before pointing at Remus. “It means Best Uncle in The Thomas!”

At the confused looks that garnered, Deceit clarified, “She’s learning acronyms.”

“Wait,” Roman interjected, “If Remus is Butt, then who is Daddy?”

Remus looked as if he were about to make a dirty comment, but Deceit silenced him with a glare. Remus shut up, no powers necessary, and Deceit answered instead. “Princess used to call Remus Daddy, and still does in . . .” he paused, glancing down at her, nestled in his arms, “Times of trial. But Princess wanted to know why Remus says ‘Daddy’ oddly, on occasion, and Remus, naturally, explained it to her. Then she changed what she called him to Butt.”

Roman looked as if he were thinking this over, but the rest of the Sides nodded in comprehension. Patton looked a wee bit confused also, and Deceit decided to steer the conversation away from the previous topic. He looked back down at Princess.

“And, d’you see him?” Deceit asked, gesturing to Patton. Princess nodded.

“I’m not blind, Dee!” She giggled.

“Ah, the sarcasm is strong in that one,” Virgil commented, relaxing his posture slightly. Princess giggled at his words. Deceit rolled his eyes, trying to take back control of the conversation.

“That’s Patton-”

“The Light Side daddy!” Princess interrupted, gleeful to know the answer.

Patton made an aww! noise. “You taught her that?”

Remus smiled proudly. “We never said anything bad about any of you. Although, Double Dee here was worried that because of the bitterness between our groups, you would turn our princess against us.”

The other sides looked guilty for putting that horrible thought in Deceit’s mind. Deceit flushed, embarrassed to have his innermost worries laid out for his “coworkers” to see.

“Oh! Well, erm, that’s uhhh, one of many factors . . .”

Princess pulled on his caplet for attention. “Dee! Dee! Again! Again!”

Chuckling, Deceit pointed to Logan. “You want to play a guessing game? Okay, Princess, who’s that?”

“The smart Light Side! Lo Lo! Like how you’re the smartest Dark Side, Dee!”

Logan smiled at Princess for the first time. He had been paying close attention to this new arrival, but until that moment it was with curiosity devoid of emotion. He couldn’t help enjoying that this child knew that he was the “smart one”, at least out of the Light Sides. His inner teacher was pleased by this child, and he was feeling a feeling that felt the way chocolate chip muffins smelled. Was that normal? Logan decided that he liked it.

“That’s very correct, my dear. But his name is Logan.”

Princess rolled her eyes at him, which was rather comical, as she hadn’t fully gotten that hang of doing that without moving her whole head.

“It’s a nickname, Dee!”

“My apologies.” Deceit smiled. He looked at Roman then, squashing down six years worth of worry and evasiveness to do so. “Now, my little angel, do you remember when I told you that even though I made you with science, you don’t hold my blood?”

Princess nodded enthusiastically. “Uh huh! You used donors! Someone else’s duna!”

“DNA, sweetie.” Deceit corrected gently.

“Oh. Yeah. That.” Princess agreed.

“Do you know who that is?” Deceit asked, pointing to Roman. Princess nodded again.

“That’s Prince Roman. He’s Butt’s brother! I want a brother. Or a sister. Roman helps Butt with creativity!”

Roman looked a little affronted at being reduced to “help”, and Remus looked gleeful to see his brother affronted, and probably would have given him a playful shoulder punch if he were not so far away. At some point during all this, Remus had moved to stand next to Deceit and Princess, causing Logan to move closer to Virgil to make room. Virgil, in turn, had shifted closer to Princey. 

Deceit pushed on with the lesson. “Yes, Princess, that’s right. I used Roman’s DNA to make you. And, Virgil’s, too.” Deceit gestured towards Virgil.

“Anxiety!”

“Yes, dearest, exactly. You have both of their DNA running through those little veins of yours.” Deceit started to tickle Princess. She laughed, rolling out of his arms and onto the floor. “If they want to be your other Mommy and Daddy that’s okay.” he glanced at Roman and Virgil, who seemed frozen, shocked. Deceit knew he would have to have  a proper conversation with them later about this, but Princess was his priority right now. “Then you would have two mommies and two daddies.”

“Yay!” Princess said, before being interrupted by a giant yawn.

“Oh no, is someone ready for a nap?” Deceit asked.

Princess went limp. “Nooooooooooo! I don’t wanna nap!”

“How about this? You take a nap, and when you wake up, you can have a cookie?” Deceit offered, bribing his daughter for the upteenth time. Princess fell for it, just as she usually did.

“Yay! Can Butt tuck me in?” Princess asked.

“Of course,” Deceit conceded, giving her a loving peck of the cheek before putting her down. Princess scampered into Remus’s embrace before grabbing hold of his hand. 

“Bye-bye!” She said, waving as she and Remus sank down together. Just before leaving Deceit’s field of vision, Remus sent Deceit a quick look of reassurance and loving support. The look gave Deceit the strength to not sink out with them, and stay for what he knew was inevitable. Deceit sighed softly, taking off his hat for a moment to run his gloved fingers through his hair.

“I’ll be taking your questions now,” he said as he replaced his hat.

There was a beat of silence before Logan spoke up. “How?”

“An artificial womb.” Deceit answered softly. Logan, ever the curious one, looked like he wanted to know more, but he was interrupted be fore he could get details.

“Why?” Virgil asked.

Deceit wouldn’t be able to explain why he reacted the way he did later, but in the present, Deceit just snapped. 

“Why? WHY?! Because I’m never WANTED except for Remus! NO ONE EXCEPT FOR HIM EVEN THOUGHT I WAS NECESSARY!  DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT’S LIKE? To be completely unwanted, and to be thought by all around you to be unnecessary? You’ve forgotten. When you LEFT US for the LIGHT SIDE, I was CONSTANTLY ALONE! Remus was in the Imagination all day and I was LOOSING MY MIND. I needed a project to work on to keep my mind off of that fact!” 

Out of the corners of his eyes, he saw Thomas look guiltily at the ground, but Deceit was entirely focused on finally being honest. “So I found an article on fake wombs. I thought, ‘Hey, maybe this would solve both of your problems with one stone!’. Remus agreed, I think, at first only because he was scared that I would stop getting out of bed in the morning. So he helped me build a fake womb. We tried, again, and again, and again, with our DNA, but it WOULDN’T WORK. I nearly gave up on just about everything before Remus suggested getting donors. But of course we weren’t going to just go up to you and say ‘Hey, Virge, since you left I’ve been severely depressed and have almost given up on existing, would you mind donating some DNA for me to make a child so I don’t have to think about you?’. NO! At best you would have felt guilty. As for who we chose, WE CHOSE YOU IDIOTS BECAUSE ROMAN IS AS CLOSE TO REMUS AS IT GETS, AND YOU WERE A DARK SIDE!”

Roman looked instinctively offended by that, but his expression quickly morphed back to conflict. It looked like he was starting to process that fact that he had a child. Virgil was just staring at Deceit, eyes wide and chest heaving. Deceit wasn’t done yet, though.

“And you know why we hid her so long. I worked my ASS off just for Princess to EXIST! I almost killed myself in the process, but she lived. If I had to make  a choice, I would chose her life over mine any day. I LOVE HER! You may see us as villains, but so help me, if you ever put your bigoted division into her eyes, you will regret EVER BEING FORMED!”

The room was quiet for a few seconds. Deceit realized that he was gasping for air, and mentally counted down from ten to try to regain control. He looked around the room at the others. Virgil was taking just as big gulps of breath as Deceit, and was trying equally hard to regulate them. Roman was still frozen like he was still processing the fact that he technically had a child now. Logan looked like the emotions were starting to get to him, and he didn’t quite know what to do. Patton looked like someone had handed him a new kind of spider and told him that it needed emotional support. Thomas looked frightened, but also like he was suddenly understanding Deceit for the first time. That was . . . new.

Patton was the first to regain control of himself long enough to speak. Sighing softly, he frowned, looking at Deceit. “Deceit . . . I’m so sorry that we treated you like we did. We had no idea how much you were hurting. And, I want you to know that Princess is completely welcome here.” The look he shot around the toom at the other Light Sides brooked no argument. “I’m sure that we will all try our best to work with you in a way so we can all, um . . .”

Deceit consciously relaxed his shoulders a fraction. “Don’t hurt yourself. I’ll be okay working with you, and Remus will as well. Princess is so curious about everything, Remus and I simply cannot keep up. Perhaps, you, Logan, could educate her?”

Logan blinked, surprised. “You . . . you want me?”

“It makes sense.” Deceit said. Logan looked a little bit shocked, and rather honored. He hadn’t thought that he would ever get a chance to really, properly teach someone, regardless of the fact that his first manifestation was that of a teacher from Thomas’s Vines. He didn’t think that anyone knew that he even wanted to be a teacher. And he definitely didn’t think that the ones who would notice would be the ones that he routinely countered - even if he agreed with their points. Logan smiled then, as warmly as anyone had ever seen him smile.

“I would be honored.”

Deceit glanced at the others, eyebrow raised in an indication that he would be amenable to more inquiries.

“How . . . how old is she?” Roman asked. 

Deceit’s gaze turned wistful. “She’s turning six in April. God . . . I still cannot believe that it has been so long . . .”

Roman finally smiled. The Thomas-really-wants-to-have-kids instinct was overriding his confusion. “I see. Anything else we should know about her?”

“Well, she is basically a miniature you, Roman, but with Virgil’s unfiltered anxiety. We’re working with her on it. She’s scared of using her own powers, but that is a story for another time.” Virgil looked guilty at that.

“She loves music. Ah, ooh! She is very hard to say no to. Exhibit a) She did my makeup.” Dee chuckled, gesturing at his face. “She is very determined in everything that she does. Nothing goes unfinished if she has anything to say about it.”

Roman looked proud of her. Logan nodded his approval as well.

Deceit continued. “She loves snow in the Imagination . . .” he chuckled again. The others had never heard him laugh like he had today before, warm and soft and full of love, without a trace of sardonic belittlement in sight. 

“When she was two, Remus introduced her to snow for the first time. She just stood there for a moment before falling face first into the snow and just . . . laying there. She wasn’t bothered by it at all. What a crazy kid.” He smiled off into the distance of fond memory for a moment before pulling himself back to the present. 

“Oh, and one more thing: She is terrified of rats. Another long story.”

“Ahem. So, does she have a real name?” Logan asked curiously.

“Oh, no,” Deceit replied, subdued “When she broke free from the fake womb, I . . . I didn’t want to name her because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to take it if you . . . if you all took her away from me. So I didn’t want to get attached, but Remus started calling her Princess 626, not just normal 626-”

“Makes sense, after all, she is royalty,” Roman grinned. Deceit glared at him balefully for interrupting before continuing as if he hadn’t spoken. 

“The next thing we knew, we were calling her Princess like it was her real name. But it is just a nickname - she had full creativity over her full name. So far, she has called herself Bob, Cat, Dean, Grey . . . pretty much anything she could think of, but she hasn’t ever been able to settle on one for long. Though we don’t mind calling her Princess.”

Virgil took in one last deep breath, making sure he was calm enough not to accidentally use his Tempest Tongue before asking, “Um, w-who dyed her hair?”

“Meee!” Remus popped back up, making Virgil jump. He grinned at the Anxious side cheekily before turning to Deceit. “Oh, also, Double Dee, Princess is really gonna need your cuddles when she wakes up. She broke her arm when you were summoned - fell forwards with a splat onto the floor. Her words, not mine. Poor darling.” He grimaced. “N-normally a broken arm is good, but not if it’s Princess’s arm.”

“Her arm is WHAT?! I gotta go - I have to check on her!” Deceit gasped.

“Don’t worry, Dee!  Took care of it!”

Deceit shook his head at his boyfriend. “Really, Remus, I greatly appreciate your help with everything I have, but I do not trust your medical care at all.” He sank down as fast as he could. Remus shrugged.

“That’s fair.”

Taglist If you want to be added, message me!):

@deafgirl-and-hercoven @fanartfunart @fandomfan315 

[ionlydatesassyelves]

sad bats part 2

there is, indeed, a second part, where things get slightly better and the hero smooches the bat.

------

Antasma had slowly recovered inch by inch in the short time he'd been taking shelter at the mansion. It hadn't taken terribly long for the angry, red swelling on his ear to go down, and after a time, he didn't shake and cringe so much when Luigi carefully tended to it.

That was the real sign of progress to Luigi. The fact that Antasma could go twenty minutes straight without shaking now, could look in Luigi's eyes and speak up while they were talking, could uncurl himself a little at a time like he was slowly unwinding his defenses. It made Luigi so proud that he was trying.

He was still hurt, and he still had a long way to go, but the first steps were often the hardest to take. Luigi knew that too well, and he had grown so eager to help the bat along.

Luigi's thoughts derailed when he felt claws sink in his leg. He stopped his hands abruptly, let Antasma press his face against his shoulder and felt him shaking. Luigi kept thinking he couldn't be comfortable curled over in his lap like that, but it was the only way Antasma would let him near his bad ear.

A minute passed, and slowly, delicately, Antasma unhooked each claw from Luigi's leg. Luigi bit his lip, fighting down a noise. It stung already, but Antamsa was hurting worse.

"Sorry," the bat whispered, so faint Luigi almost didn't catch it.

Luigi waited for the shaking to still a little more before he spoke. "Its okay," he said, and tried to match Antasma's volume. "Did I hurt you?"

The ear flinched, and Antasma squirmed a little. "...no," he decided.

Luigi pulled his hands slowly back and reapplied the disinfectant to a clean cotton ball. "I just have a little left. Is it okay if I keep going?"

A stuttering breath, like he was waiting for something worse. "Yes."

Luigi gave him another moment, then took the damaged remains of his ear very gently in his hands again. Antasma cringed when the stinging solution met his ear once more, and Luigi found himself saying "Shh, shhh, it's okay... almost done, I promise..."

Claws pressed teasingly against Luigi's legs again, like Antasma wanted to tear him apart and it took considerable effort to resist. Luigi tried to ignore the sensation. They couldn't both be on edge.

At last, he finished, moving quickly to scoot the first aid supplies away on the floor. "Okay there, all finished," he said. "Its looking a lot better."

Antasma just flinched, and held onto him a little tighter. Luigi knew what he was thinking. It looked less infected, no less just shredded remains, no less a brutal punishment he hadn't deserved.

Luigi watched the bat a moment, then very gently reached up and ran his fingers along the back of his head. "...is this okay?"

There was a pause, and Antasma relaxed. "Its fine," he managed when he recalled his words. He let Luigi pet him a minute longer, and then whispered a soft "Thank you."

Luigi smiled, absently petting the thick violet fur. It had grown soft again since Antasma had shown up, damaged and terrified and desperate to warn them about Abscuro. Kamek had said the stress probably did it, which given the ear, seemed likely.

Luigi still couldn't believe it. How anyone--even a villain, even a twisted monster--could ever treat someone else this way. If Antasma had loved Abscuro half as much as Luigi had seen him worship Bowser, how could the shadow find the will in himself to hurt him so?

"He vanted you, and I couldn't do it."

Luigi thought about those words almost constantly. Perhaps this level of hurt and betrayal was beyond him, but more than that, he really couldn't believe someone like Antasma capable of such compassion.

And an hour from now, Antasma would be in a distant corner of the house, curled up and shaking with his claws sunk into himself, convinced he didn't deserve to be anywhere near Luigi. Convinced he didn't deserve to be safe and cared for, worlds away from Abscuro.

"I couldn't do it."

Luigi's heart broke again and again for the bat. Even after all the nightmares and heartache he had endured at Antasma's hand, the nights he'd seen Kamek sleepless and sick with worry, the stress he knew he was putting on Dimentio and L all the way across the country.

This giant, deadly, horrifying thing was curled up pitifully in Luigi's arms, afraid and desperate but with no where else left to go. Allowing Luigi to gently hold his hand and pet his fur and soothe every shake and tremor out of him. It was like meeting a totally different person.

Luigi couldn't imagine hurting him the way Bowser and Abscuro had. Couldn't comprehend how Abscuro had held him closer than this and whispered he loved him as he tore the poor bat apart.

Antasma took a deep breath suddenly, and startled Luigi out of his thoughts. He pulled back a bit, and squirmed like he was unsure of himself. "...Vhat are you thinking so deeply about?" he finally asked, his voice soft and quiet.

Luigi found his smile again, scratching at that little spot between the back of Antasma's ears that made him sigh so happily. Luigi was getting fond of that noise. "Its nothing," he lied.

There was a pause, then Antasma gathered his nerves and sat up straight. He would've been much taller than Luigi even sitting up beside him. Propped in his lap like this, the bat towered over him. Their faces were so close as Antasma stared down at him with wide, glowing eyes, and Luigi felt his breath hitch in his throat. "You daydream vhen it is nothing," he half stated, half accused. "Does... something trouble you?"

Luigi shook his head, and he wasn't entirely lying. It wasn't that he was troubled, it was that he knew the longing ache in his own heart too well, and he wasn't entirely sure what to do with it. "No, I'm fine," he decided.

Antasma held his stare, and Luigi felt his tail flick against his leg, felt the bat's hands hold so tightly to his. Not like he was afraid, like he was wondering--again--if he should be. Luigi wanted to hold him close and squeeze him tight until he understood.

"I'm just..." Luigi hesitated. He reached up and gently held the side of Antasma's face. He waited for the bat to lean into his touch and gently ran his thumb along his cheek. Antasma made an odd, conflicted sort of face, but he gave a tiny sound like he liked it and reached up to lay his hand over Luigi's. Cautiously, Luigi continued. "...I'm just... thinking about you."

Antasma slowly opened his eyes. His grip tightened on Luigi's small hand--all strength and claws and it didn't seem to dawn on him that he could crush Luigi. He held on like he was pleading, his eyes afraid and desperate and begging Luigi not to drag his guard down and hurt him when he wouldn't stop him.

"...Vhat about me?" he said slowly, and his eyes searched Luigi's frantically.

Luigi held his stare and squeezed his hand and kept gently petting his face. He really wasn't sure what to say now, he was thinking too many things. You deserve everything and I wish I could give it to you. I would physically pull all the hurt out of you and throw it in the ocean right now if I could. I want to absolutely destroy anyone who's ever enjoyed that look in your eyes. I want to piece your heart back together even if I can't have it, because you deserve to be happy and I don't think you know that and its eating me alive.

He couldn't say any of that, he was going to scare the bat. But his silence would worry him too. He had to say something. But, gold eyes searched blue, and Luigi lost his train of thought again.

"Can I kiss you?"

It came out as a strangled, hoarse whisper, and he hadn't entirely meant to say it aloud. The following silence was suffocating, and Luigi could watch every emotion flood Antasma's eyes--first he was shocked, then he grew afraid, then there was a fleeting spark of hope before he thought to be afraid again.

"It's okay, it's okay," Luigi found himself repeating. His voice was so quiet, but it was a struggle now to talk any louder. As if the moment would shatter like glass if they didn't move slowly and quietly and carefully. "You don't have to, it's okay." He ran his thumb along Antasma's cheek again, and if Antasma leaned another inch down their foreheads would be touching. Two inches and they would be kissing. "Antasma, I understand, it's okay."

The hope was back in his eyes and then he was drowning in longing. Like he hoped he was dreaming and he would be sick when he woke up but there was nothing he could possibly want more. Luigi was familiar with the feeling.

"I won't..." Luigi took a shaky breath when his voice cracked. He saw Antasma's ears pin back and his eyes melt a little softer. "...I won't hurt you. But, I-- ...I understand. If it's too much, I understand."

"No--"

Both men jumped when the bat spoke. Luigi leaned back, afraid he was crowding him, and Antasma followed him. "N-no, I-- vait..." Luigi watched him curl back, then lean cautiously closer again, his eyes darting over Luigi's face as he struggled for words. "That vasn't-- no, I-- I meant--"

Luigi waited patiently.

"Please..." Antasma managed, and his voice cracked on just that one syllable.

Luigi felt his heart flutter, and couldn't contain a shaking smile. He coaxed Antasma gently closer until he could feel the bat's warm breath against his lips. "...you're sure?" he said one more time.

Antasma considered. Honestly, deeply struggled to consider. "Yes," he decided.

Luigi hesitated one more gasp, then leaned in and pressed his lips to Antasma's mouth.

The bat went stiff, squeezing Luigi's hand tightly. Luigi kissed him tenderly, rubbing gentle circles on his cheek and the back of his hand with the worn pad of his thumbs. Something about his teeth had made Luigi think his mouth wouldn't be soft, but the dangerous fangs hid neatly behind Antasma's lips and he had been very wrong.

Slowly, Antasma relaxed, and leaned closer to Luigi, gradually returning the kiss. It was deep and warm, despite the uncertainty from both of them. Luigi heard a noise stifled in the back of Antasma's throat--a high, longing sort of hum, and Luigi's heart melted when he heard it. He wanted so badly to drag Antasma on top of him, see what other noises he would let slip, drag his hands through thick fur and make him feel incredible.

Luigi allowed himself exactly five seconds after that thought, and slowly forced himself to pull back. He watched Antasma take a staggering breath, watched him try to process everything before his eyes fluttered open and searched Luigi's.

It finally dawned on Luigi to be terrified that he'd messed up everything. He watched the gears click slowly in Antasma's heard, and grew afraid the bat wouldn't trust him anymore, would fear a repeat of what he had just escaped.

He tried not to jump when Antasma leaned in again.

The bat drifted close to his mouth once more, and as his eyes searched Luigi's again, words seemed to fail them both. He let Antasma kiss him again, slowly and hesitantly.

Luigi felt stress and tension gradually ease out of them both. Antasma moved his hands from Luigi's and propped against his shoulders as he slid closer. Their hearts hammered against each other, and Luigi sighed, tilting his head back to allow Antasma to kiss him even deeper.

Some lost defense mechanism in the back of Luigi's head kept creeping up to remind him the creature in his lap had once wanted him dead. Had devoured pieces of his mind and thrived off his fears. But then those dangerous claws scratched so gently through his hair, and that commanding voice was reduced to the pitiful humming sound again, and Luigi couldn't stand it. He didn't care.

Luigi wasn't sure when his hands had drifted down to rest on Antasma's hips, but he came slowly to his senses when Antasma pressed him against the back of the couch. He could feel the bat's tail tangled tightly around his legs, hands dragging through his hair. He began to consider what Antasma was violently pushing down in his own mind.

Carefully, Luigi slid his hands up to Antasma's chest (had to collect his thoughts after the tremor that ran through the bat) and gently pushed him until Antasma took the hint and broke the kiss. They stared at each other, dazed and a little breathless. Luigi smiled dizzily up at him. "We should probably slow down..." he said distantly.

Antasma took another steadying breath, reaching up to rub the daze from his eyes as he nodded mutely. Luigi gently pressed their lips together just for a second longer. "Thank you," he said, honestly.

Antasma looked like he had no idea what to do with that. He stared at Luigi again. Less like he was comparing him to others, and more like he had never seen anything like him.

Luigi found a hundred more things he suddenly wanted to say, but he was going to overwhelm the bat at this rate. So, instead, he gently pulled Antasma back down until he could rest his head against Luigi's shoulder again. Luigi let him squirm into a more comfortable position than he had allowed the shorter man to tend his ear in. For some reason, it wasn't like Antasma to make himself comfortable, and Luigi was so glad to feel him relax in his arms.

"Want to stay here for a bit?" Luigi quietly asked. He gently scratched Antasma's good ear as he said it, and the bat squirmed closer and allowed it.

Antasma breathed deeply for a moment, considering. Wondering what he actually wanted and what he would allow himself. Luigi smiled when he felt the bat's grip on his waist tighten. "I vould like that," he admitted.

Luigi kissed the top of his head, and caught a pointed ear turn slightly redder in his hand. He made himself comfortable around Antasma and slowly relaxed as well.

[honeybee-babe]

Super sick, delirious, sad Luther, and everyone taking care and appreciATING HIM HIM GODDAMMIT thanks

HI THIS TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG AND THERE IS ALSO A PART 2 COMING YOUR WAY! This also fulfills “Don’t leave me” in the dialogue prompts (for @laimerrylin :)).

TW: Hallucinations, ANGST/guilt, references to character death, implied PTSD

Two through Seven stood in a line in the doorway to the infirmary. For once, they were all silent, staring at the operating table where Number One, finally asleep, lay shivering violently under a thin sheet.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Vanya was the first to speak up. Klaus reached through the space where Ben was standing to put a gentle hand on her shoulder when he heard the break in her voice. 

“Fever’s on the way down!” Grace was at the sink washing the thermometer. She turned around and flashed Vanya a sympathetic smile. “It should break within the next two hours. He’s also got a bit of sinus infection, but it doesn’t sound as bad as last time, and we caught it early. He’ll be just fine.”

Ben walked through Klaus’ outstretched ard past the series of monitors Luther was hooked up to. As he reached out to “hold” Luther’s hand, Grace turned the sink off and stripped off her rubber gloves. She walked over to Vanya and putting a cold, yet still somehow warm hand on her face, then turned to face the rest of them.

“Your brother needs his rest. Why don’t you kids all go into the living room and I’ll make you some lunch?”

None of her “kids” made any effort to move. They stared silently again at their sick brother for a good thirty seconds before Diego finally spoke up.

“Klaus, you should really go.” He glanced up at the screen displaying Luther’s body temperature, which read 105.9 degrees, down from the 106.3 that had sent him rushing out of Luther’s room and calling for Mom just ten minutes ago. He looked back at his frail brother, who was shooting him a pleading look. “We can’t have you catching this.”

“It’s not contagious anymore.” Grace assured as she glided across the room to adjust Luther’s sheets. “He’s been sick for three days.”

“Wait, you said he was only sick for one day!” Diego hissed at Five.

“That’s what he said!”

“And you believed him?”

“Boys, that’s enough,” Grace used her stern tone, then quickly softened again as she pulled the sheet up to Luther’s chin. “You need to let your brother rest.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Klaus shot her a genuinely grateful look, then looked up at the monitor himself, which beeped as Luther’s fever dropped to 105.8. “Are you sure there won’t be any permanent side effects? Ben says that’s a really high fever.”

“It shouldn’t stay up long enough for that.” Grace insisted. She tucked the sheets up to Luther’s chin and turned around to smile at Klaus. “Tell Ben I said hello!”

“Ben?” Luther called out from the operating table. Before anyone could respond, Luther was screaming bloody murder. Pale blue eyes flashed wide open as he clutched his arms to his chest, knocking over the table to his side in the process. “Oh my god.” He stared down at the empty space in his arms and started shaking his hands up and down violently, as if he was holding something. “Get some help!”

An uncomfortable silence fell upon the room as Luther continued to thrash about and Klaus, Allison and Diego looked at one with a tension so thick it could be cut with a cheese knife. Even Grace seemed to key into the painful, communal understanding. 

Vanya and Five apparently didn’t get the memo.

“You’re okay, Luther,” Five soothed, and blinked over to his brother to touch his arm, which did nothing to stop Luther from curling in on himself further. Vanya crossed over to his other side.

“Shhh, you’re just having a nightmare, it’s not real,” she soothed, gently touching his other arm. “Should we wake him up?”

“It’s not just a nightmare, Van.” Klaus swallowed a lump in his throat. “That’s what he said when… when Ben-”

“Holy shit.” Five blinked back to the doorway and Vanya followed suit, though she had to physically back up to her place. Neither of them had been present during Ben’s death, the one being off in the apocalypse, and the other being excluded from missions.

“I’m so sorry, we didn’t–”

“Wait, guys,” Allison cut Vanya off, “why are his eyes open?”

“He might be having some hallucinations.” Grace’s tone was still calm and sweet. “It’s not uncommon with a fever this high.” She gently touched Luther’s arm; it didn’t go unnoticed when he flinched away from her and put his hands over his eyes. “Best you leave me alone with him. You kids shouldn’t have to see him like this.”

Once again, they all ignored her instructions, and stood watching as Luther whispered to the empty space he held cradled in his arms.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, Ben, I’ve got you.”

Allison turned to Five, and pointed a finger at him, eyes narrowed into slits.

“You should have called us!” she hissed.

“Well you should have been there!” Five defended, pointing his finger at Allison. “He didn’t want me to call you because it would ruin your precious night out.”

“And you listened to him, knowing the shit he pulled last time,” Diego barked. He’d unconsciously put a hand on Luther’s arm when he’d tensed away from Grace, which had settled his brother down a little bit.

“I had it under control!”

“This is your definition of under control?” Klaus cried, gesticulating wildly towards Luther. “You should have at least told Mom when his fever spiked!”

“It didn’t spike! It was only 102.”

“That’s still a fever!”

“He was probably drunk.” Vanya put a hand on Five’s shoulder. “He wasn’t in the right frame of mind, right Five?”

“That’s no excuse!” Diego cut in. “Klaus is drunk all the time. Hell, we’re all hungover right now. Yet I had the common sense to call Mom when-”

“Guys, stop!” Everyone whipped their heads over to the operating table where Ben stood, glowing in blue light emanating from Klaus’ fists. He pointed down at Luther. “Look at him!”

Luther had his hands over his ears. He was curled up on his side, silently sobbing, as shivers wracked his body. Diego retracted his hand from his arm and slinked away to the doorway.

“I’m sorry,” Luther mumbled. “Please stop yelling at me.”

Two through Five let out the tension in their chests in a collective sigh. Seven, who was already calm, crossed back over to One.

“We’re not yelling at you, Spacey,” Vanya reached out her hand to gently wipe the tears away from his clammy, burning cheek. Luther’s eyes shot open at her cold touch.

“Vanya,” He seemed shocked to see her, almost scared. “I’m so sorry, I never should have–”

“Hey hey hey, that’s in the past, okay? We’ve been over this, all is forgiven.”

“Luther, look who’s here to cheer you up!” Klaus brought his hands together once again in a burst of blue light, and Ben appeared at his brother’s bedside. 

“Hey buddy. Not feeling too good, huh?”

“Ben,” Luther’s eyes flashed wide, and he let out a sigh of relief, sinking back onto the operating table as all the tension in his body seemed to dissipate.  “Oh my god, I thought we lost you!”

“Can’t get rid of me that easy, Big Guy.” Ben smiled down at Luther, and ruffled his brother’s hair. “Someone’s gotta be here to annoy you!”

“Hey, that’s my job!” Klaus bent over to wrap himself around Luther’s waist. Allison followed, coming around from the other side and holding gently onto her sick brother’s hand. Diego stood watching 

“Kids!” They all turned to Grace, who was speaking in her serious voice now. But the smile quickly returned to her face. “I understand that you’re all concerned for your brother, but he needs to sleep now, or his fever might spike again.”

That was enough to send Five blinking out of the room. Vanya kissed her brother’s clammy forehead once (and wiped the sweat off her lips) before leaving too. Klaus squeezed Luther’s hand and similarly wiped his hand on his pants before leaving, Ben following after him like always.

Diego still lingered silently in the doorway, watching as Allison whispered something in Luther’s ear. Was she rumoring him? He tensed as he watched. That didn’t seem to be the case though, as Luther didn’t seem to move or react at all. That is, until she tried to leave, in response to which he abruptly grabbed her by the wrist, much to Diego’s surprise. 

“Luther, what’s wrong?” She tried to break free of his grasp but it was impossible, his strength was unmatched even in his weakened state. In response to which, he tightened his grip. Allison looked up at the monitors, but she couldn’t decipher anything except the fact that his fever now sat at 105.5. She turned to Grace, who gently put her hand on Luther’s other arm to soothe him. Allison noticed how he tensed away from her touch a second time. “Mom, I think something’s wrong. Can you-”

“Don’t leave me,” Luther pleaded, shooting her a pitiful look. Allison’s own expression softened and she stopped struggling in his grasp, instead bending over to kiss his forehead.

“Luther you have to rest so your fever can go down,” Allison whispered against his clammy skin. “Mom’s gonna stay with you, okay?”

“Please don’t leave me alone with her,” Luther whispered, loud enough only for Allison to hear.

“Oh.” Allison turned back to look at Grace, who was still smiling at her. And then it clicked. “Oh.” Luther had mentioned to her in passing that Grace had been in the infirmary with him when Reginald administered the serum. She cleared her throat.

“Hey, Mom?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Why don’t you go rest and I’ll look after Luther.”

“Allison, you know I don’t need to rest! I’ll stay here with–”

“I want to stay here with him,” Allison said decisively.

It took a few moments for Grace to register that, her expression blank as she blinked multiple times. But then she looked at the monitor, which now read 105.3, and turned back with a thousand-watt little smile finally crossed her face.

“Okay! I’m hooked up to the monitors in case anything goes wrong. Let me know if he needs anything else!”

And then she left the room. Diego slid away from the door so she wouldn’t see him, and waited for the sound of her heels clicking down the hallway to fade away before he peeked into the room again.

[human-trash-fire]

Beautiful Disaster: Chapter 2

Hello loves, the following is the second installment of my Pynch fic! as usual you can find it on Ao3 @glam_reaper2 

TW: Blood and honestly some just big sads/ hospital/ references to grief and self harm.

His phone had not stopped its incessant Rhythm atop his nightstand. Adam was staring blankly at it. ringing... ringing, and then flashing: BLUE (missed call). She’d been trying to reach him for two days and he had yet to move from his bed for more than a quick trip to the bathroom. He’d shot a text to Boyd telling him he had a family emergency, skipped classes, and stood vigil alone in a sea of blankets. 

Grieving. 

His heart ripped from his chest by a man he’d never learn to love. His happy ending. Every color he’d dreamt of seeing, swallowed him whole. How was the world outside so bright? Who gave it the right to be so radiant, when hope had bleed out on the concrete in a back alley.

He closed his eyes, and let the dark drag him back.

The sound of a key turning the lock of his front door woke him. He knew it would be Blue, his best friend of four years, the only person other than his landlord who had access. He burrowed further into the covers and stared blankly at his bedroom door, waiting for the inevitable. 

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEE- oh…. Adam.” What had begun at a yell, drifted to a near whisper when her eyes found his. They were big, and the richest brown, Adam would have been lost in the color if he had the strength to feel. 

“Adam, what happened?” She whispered, coming to perch at his side, delicate hand reaching to touch his cheek.

“He’s dead Blue. He died. I- I couldn’t, I- “

“Shhh, it’s okay. Who Adam, what happened? Who died?”

My heart died. 

His eyes shifted to her left hand which was firmly gripping his. “Your nails don’t match Blue, they’re all different.”

“My wha- oh… OH GOD. ADAM! You found them? When did this happen? This is amazing! No, no don’t cry, fuck…Sweetheart.. what happened?”

He looked up then, her face a mask of concern as she wiped the tears falling from his eyes in splashing drops. 

“I… I was going to Boyd’s. There was screaming. There was so much blood Blue, it- it was everywhere. I tried to help, I- I couldn’t stop the blood. And then everything was bright and it was so red. Everything was so red. And warm. And cold. And I couldn’t sto-stop it. I-“ he choked on a series of sobs that wracked his whole being. He couldn’t find it in himself to stop. Blue kicked off her green boots and crawled into the covers, holding him tight to her chest as he cried. 

For hours she said nothing, allowing him the comfort of touch, and the space to grieve. He was completely broken, and she held the shattered pieces of his soul so tight, as if she could glue him back together with force alone. 

At some point he had fallen asleep, and when he woke Blue brought him water. He mustered the courage to tell her what had happened in the alley, tears flowing down both their faces when he finally made it through. 

“I don’t,” he released a shuttered breath, and tried again. “I don’t know what to do now Blue… there’s nothing, no happy ending. It’s… everything I’ve done.. I’m alone. I’m alone, again.”

“No. You’re not alone. You have me.” She stated, fact. “You have Henry. You have grad school and a future, and you’re going to change the world. This? This is horrific, but this is not the end for you. I promise.”

She was earnest in the way that only Blue could be. He heard the words, and wished they were true, but this felt like the end. 

“I…. I never even knew his name. How can I- how- I can’t even grieve Blue. I don’t know who I lost,” Adam whispered.

“Your heart knows, love, that’s enough.”

****

His eyes were heavy. His body felt like it was weighed down by sandbags, and his throat was on fire. He stirred slightly, trying to open his eyes, to lift his head. Water he thought, but the word never fell from his lips. 

He heard the muffled sound of a chair scrape back, and suddenly there was a cup being pressed to his lips. A warm hand holding his head steady, allowing the liquid to coat his ravaged throat. 

Ronan felt like death. Which was funny to him because, had he actually been dead, he imagined he’d feel a lot better. He choked on the cold, and the cup was removed. The telltale click of it being set somewhere off to the side, though the hand never left his face.

“Ronan…” Gansey. His voice was hollow, and the name on his lips was like a whispered question. 

“Mmm,” he hummed a non-committal sound, and tried again to peel his eyes open. He was met with bright light, and squinted, the blurry face of his friend slowly coming into focus before him when his breath caught.

“Dick,” he croaked. “Your eyes…” He still couldn’t breath. The world narrowed down to two pools of light-brown, rimmed pink, and set above purple shadows.

“What? Ronan, what’s wrong?”

“Fuck.. your- they’re- brown…” He trailed off, and felt Gansey stiffen from his perch at Ronan’s side.

“....What?” Gansey spoke, nearly inaudible. 

“I said they’re brown, Dick. THEY ARE FUCKING BROWN!” his scream was met with a surge of noise from the machine to his right, and that’s when he realized he didn’t know where he was. 

The world around Gansey’s eyes flew into focus, and he found himself in a hospital room. White walls, scratchy sheets, yellow lights.

He hated hospitals. 

“What the fuck happened? Who touched me Dick, WHO FUCKING TOUCHED ME?” He was hysterical. The beeping from the machine intensified with the beat of his heart. I’m having a fucking heart attack.

Gansey was pulled back by a team in scrubs, they swarmed the bed and spoke quickly. He couldn’t breath normally, his chest to fucking tight. His wrists searing flame. His heart a staccato beat hammering his ribs. He was dizzy. 

He was going to die. 

This is it.

Ronan felt the cool of a liquid being pushed through the IV in his hand, and as sleep came to claim him once more, he heard himself say “Who touched me..” then it was only a dream.

~~

He woke again, minutes, hours, days later, to the sound of hushed voices. This time, he stayed still. He didn’t want to be awake. He didn’t want to be here.

“- I asked Noah,” Gansey said.

“And?” Declan. Fuck.

“And, he doesn’t know.. He never got a name.”

“We’re sure it wasn’t one of the paramedics?” Mathew. Shit. Ronan wished his little brother wasn’t here to see him like this.

“I asked everyone on the scene, even the cops present just to make sure. It had to be the- Hey, Ronan. How are you feeling?” Gansey’s whisper morphed into the “Senator’s son” voice easily as his eyes found Ronan awake, and watching the group meeting in the corner.

“Fucking fantstic Dick.” He croaked, then swallowed hard, fighting the bile rising in his throat. They don’t know his name. He didn’t want me. He left m- Ronan smothered the thought in a blanket of self-hatred. Of course he didn’t want this, who would? 

The bed sank next to him and he turned to see Mathew’s beautiful head of curls softly lit in the low light of the room. “Hey buddy.”

“I’m sorry,” Mathew’s bottom lip quivered, and silver lined his ice blue eyes. “I, we, should have- I’m..” the sentence ended in a sob, and his head fell against Ronan’s chest. 

“Shhh, shh, shh.. Matty it’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong, I promise. I love you, okay?” He brought a bandaged wrist up to rest lightly on Mathew’s back. Even the slight movement sent dizzying pain down his arm. Ronan met Declan’s hard gaze over the head of curls. He looked tired; wrinkled and unshaved. His eyes, like Gansey’s, were circled pink, but his jaw was set. 

He was pissed. 

He made his way to Mathew’s side and gently pried him from Ronan. 

“Hey, do you think you and Gansey could go find us some real coffee? I can’t stand the vending machine anymore and I think we could all use some? Maybe you could even find Ronan some jello? I’m sure he’d love it.” Mathew dried his eyes, smiled, and nodded. Gansey moved to open the door, and Ronan saw Declan mouth thank you. Gansey’s head dipped subtly, and the door closed behind him with an echoed click. 

Silence. 

“I don’t want to fucking hear it.” Ronan growled. 

“Well that’s too fucking bad.” Declan spoke, tone hard. “What the hell were you thinking? Christ Ronan-“ 

“It doesn’t fucking matter.”

“It matters a great deal actually. Do you know what it was like? I got a call from Gansey telling me that Noah found-“ he took a deep, shuttering breath. “Found you, I.. I had to tell Mathew. How could you be so selfish?”

“I’m sorry to disappoint.” Ronan turned his face away. “I’m still here, so you can fuck off back to hell anytime. I’ll be fine.”

“Oh fuck you.” Declan spat. “You don’t get to do this anymore.”

Ronan ignored him, rage boiling beneath his skin. He wanted to be left alone. He took a deep breath, in through his mouth, out, slowly through his nose. A smoker’s breath, and closed his eyes. 

“This shit, whatever has gotten into you? I’m done, Ronan. You’re done.” Declan spoke frankly. “I’ve already called a rehab center in Arlington-“

“No.”

“-and seeing as you’re on a 72 hour hold as it is, they’re willing to take you in.” Declan continued as if Ronan had never spoken. “You’ll finish your detox there. Gansey has already sent over your clothes.”

“I said no. Get the fuck out!” Ronan snapped, opening his eyes to glare at Declan with a look that had brought lesser men to their knees.

“You don’t get a choice. Either you go, and save yourself, or you continue on this path of self destruction alone. I will not allow you into Mathew’s life if you choose the latter, he won’t be made to watch you deteriorate any longer.”

Ronan closed his burning eyes, once more.

“I’m sorry,” Declan whispered. “I-we can’t do this anymore Ronan. You’re breaking us. We love you, but we won’t help you destroy yourself.”

Silent tears slipped from beneath his closed lashes, running tracks to the starched pillows below. 

“I’m tired.”

Declan sighed, bringing his hand to squeeze Ronan’s once, lightly, before making his way through the door. 

“I’m sorry.” Ronan whispered to Declan. To no one. To everyone. To him. 

[armoured-iron-geek]

Tony’s Final Choice (If He Truly Has to Die in Infinity War)

“Oh God, PETER!”

A promise to May Parker shattered into nothing more than a million wisps of despair.

“Promise me. Promise me you’ll bring my boy home. Safe.”

“I swear to you, May. He’ll come home. I won’t have it any other way.”

Tony had thought Peter had been holding his own well enough to take his focus off him for a few minutes while he teamed up with Rocket against the leader of whatever the hell these aliens were supposed to be. At Tony’s advice, Peter committed himself to maintaining the high ground by attaching himself to the cliff faces and attacking the outside ring of the hoard from above. The small group had found themselves separated, Strange, Gamora, Wong and Groot had disappeared over the horizon long ago. All things considered, things had been going as smoothly as possible.

But when things took a turn, it all came crashing down hard.

Tony had known The Mad Titan wasn’t far off, so why had his appearance come as a shock?

Why hadn’t FRIDAY alerted him?

Why was Tony so stupid as to not keep an eye on the Spiderling?

Why had Peter been so foolish as to challenge Thanos?

Why hadn’t Tony been there when his kid needed him?

Why?

Peter was half-trapped under boulders of human-crushing weight, breathing reduced to heavy rasping, his arms splayed awkwardly about him, one clearly disjointed and broken. Tony landed with a quiet crunch a few feet away, barely able to walk due to his entire body trembling with fright. However, that hardly stopped him from making his way over to the teen, dropping to his knees beside him.

Tony’s helmet collapsed back, revealing a grief-stricken face, eyes already red with yet-to-be shed tears. He gingerly reached out, grazing the back of his fingers against a blood-stained cheek. 

Peter’s eyes flickered open. It took a moment to register who he was seeing, “T-Tony?”

“Shh, Kiddo, don’t go wasting your breathe,” Tony murmured, inwardly kicking himself at the morbid wording. He placed a gauntlet on Peter’s heaving chest, “F.R.I.D.A.Y, I need a scan. ASAP.”

“It’s...It’s not looking too good, Boss,” came the A.I’s reply in his ear after a few moments. She sounded horrified, “Broken bones and fractures are the least of Mr. Parker’s concerns. I detect internal bleeding and it’s exceedingly fortunate that his broken ribs didn’t pierce his heart. The bleeding...it’s...it’s coming from his femoral artery, Boss. Unless we find a way to stem and close the flow...he’ll...he’ll...”

“I get it, Baby Girl,” Tony whispered, continuing to stroke Peter’s cheek. Anything to convince himself that Peter is still with him. Shit.

“I’m trying to touch base with Doctor Strange, but he’s completely disappeared off my radar. I’ll extend the radius of my search,” F.R.I.D.A.Y continued.

“Keep me in the loop.”

“Always, Boss. Always.”

At this point, Rocket had caught up, left behind by Tony when Karen had first let off a distress signal. In his periphery, Tony could see the raccoon was highly concerned, but his attention was only on the kid in front of him. 

God, he looked so small. So young...

“Tony?” Peter tried again, this time with a little more strength in his voice. Did the kid look...apologetic?

“Still here, Kid. What is it?”

 “ I-I’m sorry,” he coughed, “You were right. You didn’t want me to come, but I wouldn’t let up. I..I wasn’t ready for this and now I’m endangering everyone. I’m  sorry, Tony. I’m sorry!”

“Hey! Shhh, none of that now!” Tony soothed, brushing a curl of Peter’s hair back, “We both know that you would have followed us no matter what I said. It doesn’t matter now, all I care about now is getting you some help. Are we making any progress with Strange, F.R.I.D.A.Y?”

“Sorry Boss. If Strange is anywhere, it’s not within this cluster. I can’t detect him anymore.”

Tony swallowed back a slew of colourful words. Even if the Doctor was unable to heal Peter himself, he could have created a portal directly into a hospital. This was just the worst possible scenario, but what made it all the more painful was that fact that Earth wasn’t all that far away. In terms of space, this cluster of planet remains brought about by Thanos was just beyond being in danger of being pulled into Earth’s orbit.

Throwing all of his intelligence into practice, Tony searched around him looking for something, anything, that could possibly be of use. Nothing. Fucking nothing. Sighing heavily, he reassessed Peter.

The Iron Spider suit was beyond repair, perfectly built to withstand alien enemies, but nowhere near good enough to withstand Thanos-powered punches. Tony was honestly surprised the Iron Man armour hadn’t shattered from the strike to the face he himself had gotten from the Titan before Thanos had gotten bored and searched elsewhere for some fun.

“Tony...it’s so hard to breathe. Everything hurts..please..please make it stop.” Peter wheezed, reaching out with his one good arm to clasp the crook of Tony’s elbow, “Getting...gettin’ lightheaded.”

Shit. He was losing too much blood. Tony carefully reached for the location of the bleeding artery, grabbing the suit’s material and re-closing the gash to add the necessary pressure. Thinking quickly, he un-clipped one of the web-shooters and used the webbing to secure the material in it’s place. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it was adding precious minutes.

Peter had cried out in pain during the small process. It was a dreadful sound Tony never wanted to hear again. But what the hell could he do? Peter had to get back to Earth and the only thing he could think of was to power up the armour and carry him back down, but that was stupid cause Peter would be deprived of oxygen and be crushed by the atmospheric pressure unlike Tony who had built the armour to prevent both those things and-

Hold on. Hold on just a second.

“Hey Rocket,” Tony called out,”Help me get these rocks off him. Sorry, Pete, this might hurt...”

The Guardian was quick to jump in, pulling a laser out to break the rocks apart. The armour was able to lift the bigger boulders and within the space of a minute, Peter was freed. 

“Wha’...wha’s goin’ on?” Peter blurted.

“We’re getting you outta here.” Tony replied. Deep inside, he was shaking with something that was beyond fear, but his well practised mask showed nothing but a newfound confidence as the armour opened around him and he stepped out.

“The kid has a good question, just what are you doing?” inquired Rocket, apprehensively, watching as Tony laid the still-open armour onto the dusty ground, readjusting the limbs accordingly.

Tony ignored the question, instead asking, “You still have that anti-gravity gun?”

“Don’t go anywhere without it. Why?”

“Because, if I lift up Peter myself, it could cause more damage. Anti-gravity will keep him stable until he’s in the armour.”

Peter perked up in alarm, “The armour?”

“Yeah, Pete, the armour. F.R.I.D.A.Y can remotely direct you back to Earth and straight to a hospital. You’ll be safe.”

“But...T-Tony?”

“Let’s do this. Ready Rocket?”

Despite his steadily deteriorating condition, Peter managed to protest all the way through the process of lifting him and placing him in the suit. He only stopped to cry out in pain as Tony regretfully had to maneuver his broken limbs. The process was over in a matter of seconds and Tony closed the armour back up with the exception of the helmet, Peter now snugged securely inside. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, make sure there’s a constant pressure in the leg.” Tony ordered anxiously. His trembling nerves were getting harder and harder to hide as he tried and failed to push back the intensity of his latest decision.

“Got it, Boss.” The A.I sounded devastated...but not for Peter.

“Tony?” Peter whimpered, looking even smaller in the embrace of Iron Man, “Why are you doing this?”

“To save you, Peter, why else?

“But you won’t have your armour. You’ll be stuck here. Want if Thanos comes back?”

“Who says he will?” Tony responded, trying and failing to pull off a nonchalant shrug, “Don’t worry about me, Kid. You’re far more important.”

“No. I’m not-!”

“Just listen to me for a second, okay? You are far more important, more worthy than I’ll ever be. Kid, I talk big, but I’ve always been a wreck. I never stood a chance. But you...you’re the purest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. The world needs Peter Parker more than it does Tony Stark and that’s a fact.”

For the longest of moments, Spider-Man and Iron Man wistfully held each other’s gaze. There was no stopping the tears that began to fall from the teens eyes just as there was no preventing the older man from cupping the teens cheek in a rare gesture of affection.

“How can you say that?” whispered Peter, “Do have any idea what you’ve meant to us? To me? You were there when it was just me and May, You’ve been so good to us...I...I...”

Peter couldn’t bring himself to say it and Tony understood why: the finality of the statement. But Tony said it anyway.

“I love you, too, Kiddo.”

Peter started to sob. Tony started to break with him.

“I know I haven’t been the father-figure you’ve probably needed, but you’ve certainly been the son I would never have had otherwise. Thanks for keeping me grounded.”

“Tony...please...don’t say goodbye...”

“This isn’t goodbye. It’s just farewell for now. If I don’t see you back on Earth, I’ll definitely see you on the other side, okay?”

Tony had little to no resolve left, his voice cracking as he spoke. His statement got no response from Peter, who looked far too solemn to speak. So Tony decided to make one last request.

“Peter?”

The teen locked eyes with him.

“Promise me you won’t go through life living like you have everything and nothing. Promise me you won’t go wasting your life. As I did. It was my biggest mistake.”

Peter choked back a whimper, “I promise.”

“That’s all I could ever ask of you.”

With that, Tony restored the helmet over Peters head.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y?”

“Yes, Boss?”

“Get my kid the help he needs, huh?”

“Of course....Boss?”

“Yeah, Baby Girl?”

“It’s been an honour.”

“Love you, too. F.R.I.”

With a thrust of the repulsors, Iron Man took off, leading Peter to safety.

And leaving Tony very much alone. The last remnants of his broken soul on their way back to Earth.

Several Hours Later

Rocket had long since disappeared, leaving at Tony’s insistence to find the rest of their group on the condition that Tony would do his best to stay hidden until someone could get another suit to him.

But Tony could feel in his very bones that he was beyond rescue. Something had been coming for him ever since he had flown that nuke through that portal in New York several years ago. 

So there he crouched, bent over, clutching and wringing his hands together, sobbing and rocking himself into a stupor.

On the outside, he may have looked overwhelmed, but deep in his gut, he was just relieved. He could finally let go, years of pent up guilt, anxiety and stress pouring out with the tears. It felt so therapeutic, so goddamn good. 

So when Thanos indeed returned, staring down at the weak mortal. Tony glanced over his shoulder, studying the Titan for a moment before getting steadily to his feet.

His eyes were red, but they were fierce. He no longer trembled, his stance strong. His face was set into a determined mask before bringing forth his trademark showman grin.

His kid was safe and therefore his legacy was too. He could be with Pepper again.

Tony Stark was once the Merchant of Death. Today, he greeted it like an old friend.

[beesartandstuffs]

Who Killed Markiplier: Shot in the Dark-- Condolences (Oneshot)

(More angst. What else is new. Don’t forget to LIKE and REBLOG!!)

I was getting tired of the color black.

My sister-in-law stood at one side, holding her baby. Black veil, black dress.

Damien stood at the other side. Black suit.

My skirt and blouse were black. My hat was black. I twisted the flower stems in my fingers. At least they weren’t black.

Mark stood behind me, and I felt his hand on my shoulder.

His hand was shaking.

He wore black, too.

One by one, we dropped the flowers onto the simple memorial. There was no grave. There were no bodies.

There was nothing. Nothing but dirt and stone.

I watched the flowers fall, intrigued by how some fell faster than others.

Did some of them die faster than the others?

Nobody spoke. Not even Mark, who had prepared a eulogy. When i stepped away from the memorial, I glimpsed his face. He looked angry.

I didn’t blame him. We all were.

His wife stood behind him like a spectre. Alien, curious.

We didn’t acknowledge each other.

I didn’t feel anything, although I felt like I should be crying or something.

We all prepared to leave, and Damien grabbed my arm as I walked past. “Hey—Emma—“

I didn’t want his comfort. He still had his sister, his parents. I had nobody.

He tried again. “Emma, please.”

My sister-in-law gave me a look. Her eyes were empty and cold. She ignored Damien as she passed by, continuing on to the car. Mark and his wife followed.

I forced myself to succumb to Damien’s hand on my arm, and faced him. “What, Damien.”

I didn’t dare look him in the eyes. I was too afraid of what I’d see there.

Too afraid of what he’d see.

He pinched his lips between his teeth and let go of my arm slowly. “Emma, if…if you or Ellen need anything, just…”

“No.”

He paused. “Pardon?”

“I don’t want your help, Damien.”

My voice was cold like granite. My shoulders were stiff. My nails bit into my palms as my hands clenched into fists. “We can get along fine on our own. I’ll take care of Ellen and the baby.”

“But your license—“

“I’m going to quit. I’m quitting law school.”

His jaw tightened. “Emma, you’re not thinking straight.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not!” He grabbed my arm again as I tried to walk away. “You’re grieving, Emma, but you’re not stupid!”

I planted my feet, my chest heaving. Was I angry? This didn’t feel like anger. But I didn’t feel sad, either. I didn’t understand.

It wasn’t until I heard my own sobs that I realized what was happening.

As naturally as if he’d done it every day of his life, Damien pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

“Hey, hey, shh. Shhh,” he whispered into my hair.

“I don’t want this, I don’t— I don’t want to feel this, make it go away,” I choked, holding onto his jacket for dear life.

He stroked my hair and patted my back. “I know. I know.”

“I don’t want to quit school, I don’t want to, I don’t– I don’t know what to do.”

“I know. Just… just no big decisions right now, okay? There’s time. There’s time.”

I don’t know how long we stood there, slightly swaying as the breeze stirred the grass around us. It was all surreal, from the deaths of my father and brother to the fact that this is what it took for Damien to really, truly hold me.

I hated myself for even thinking about that that day. But the thought stuck, even as we separated and left in our respective cars. Even as we went about our days, and the days turned to months. Even as I continued in law school, supported by scholarships and mysterious philanthropy. Even as I watched my nephew grow into a happy, healthy ankle-biter, thanks to his mother’s hardworking spirit and generous friends.

Despite all this, I ignored the memory of the warmth of his arms and the kindness of his voice. We were professionals, and didn’t want to risk our friendship for the sake of curiosity.

I figured that once I had grieved long enough that the strong, confusing feelings brought on by tragedy would fade, and it would be back to normal.

I was wrong.

@mayor-damien-protection-squad @markired @blackaquokat @damiendeservedbetter @pleaseletthisjimbetaken @jojored22 @gravitykaz (if i’ve tagged you and you don’t want to be tagged, please tell me! Inversely, if you would like to be tagged in these, don’t be afraid to ask!)

[quote-star]

So I guess it’s a series now

Another entry in the SCP: South Park AU! A little longer and bloodier than the last one. Takes place before this. 

Title: Breach and Closure

Pairing: Creek

Warnings: Blood, Language

AO3 Link

When the alarm sounds to signal a containment breach, Craig is already on his feet. He pays no mind to the directions over the PA system. He ignores his colleagues rushing past him in the opposite direction. He marches with grim determination towards the employee lounge.

He told them this would happen.

It’s barely been two weeks since the higher-ups had started experimenting on Tweek again. He had been stressed, anxious, terrified. Experiments meant withdrawal. Withdrawal meant transforming. Transforming meant people would die.

Craig had tried to play the voice of reason to the Head Researcher. SCP-████, he reasoned (god he hated calling him that), was getting better; was more calm than ever recorded. The experiments, he continued, would only make things worse; make him less likely to be compliant, make him more likely to break containment.

The Head Researcher had laughed in Craig’s face. Craig was just a Junior Researcher, a newbie, what did he know? And wasn’t he getting too close to SCP-████ anyway? Better that proper scientists keep a professional distance. After all, he had laughed, a knowing sneer on his face, people were getting ideas.

So Craig had flipped him off, thought for a moment, and then punched him in the face for good measure. He had been immediately suspended, and the Head Researcher had threatened to have him fired, perhaps even demoted to D-Class. (That researcher was also probably dead now, though, so Craig supposed it didn’t really matter. It certainly served the sick old fuck right, at any rate.)

As it stands now, the breach has more than likely been caused by Tweek. And Craig knows there’s only one damn thing that’s going to fix this before the fucking security personnel go in there and “neutralize the threat.” So he fills a to-go cup with the strongest coffee the vending machine will give him, and he makes a b-line for the Euclid wing.

It’s bad, when he gets there.

The guard post at the junction of the hallway before Tweek’s cell is abandoned. Most of what’s left of the guards is dripping down the walls and pooling across the floor further off. The body of the Head Researcher is slumped against the wall near the cell door. Anyone else in Craig’s shoes might be rethinking their life choices.

But Craig is too angry, too worried, to be properly terrified. He never for one moment considers that maybe, just maybe, this is a bit of a mistake. (But then, he’s never considered anything to do with Tweek a mistake.) He enters the room without even thinking.

Its (no, Tweek’s) eyes are on him immediately. Huddled in the far corner, blood drips from his talons, and a deep, rattling growl sounds in his throat at Craig’s intrusion.

“Hey,” Craig manages tightly. “Hey, there, Tweek.” He tries to inch forward, but that only pisses Tweek off. The growl becomes more of a snarl, teeth bared. His eyes are pinpricks of light in deep, dark sockets, and they just about seem to burn.

Craig keeps trying. “Come on,” he murmurs. “Just gotta calm down. It’s alright, see?” He steps slowly around a pool of blood, holding the to-go cup out in front of himself like a talisman. “It’s just me, you know? Just me. Craig. Remember?” He taps his chullo hat for emphasis.

Tweek slowly uncurls from the corner, still growling, but his head cocks to the side just so. That’s good, Craig thinks. Interest and not murder is good. “Yeah, sure you do,” he continues. He crouches low against the furthest wall, trying to make himself smaller, less threatening. He sits, sets the coffee down beside him, and reaches out to Tweek, hands empty and open. “I’m not gonna hurt you. You know that. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

Slowly, achingly slowly, Tweek advances. The harsh rattle in his throat never stops, but it isn’t exactly menacing. Craig’s actually pretty sure Tweek is terrified. He wonders how much of these episodes he remembers. He spares a glance at the ruined bodies in the room and in the hall. Hopefully not too much.

It takes long, long seconds, but finally Tweek looms before him, in all his SCP glory. Craig is almost close enough to reach out and touch him, and he considers it—when suddenly one of the fallen guards' radios crackles to life in a horrible burst of harsh static.

“TUCKER?! TUCKER, GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THERE, WHAT ARE YOU—!” Craig grabs for it, scrambles for the switch, but it’s too late— the moment is gone. With an inhuman shriek, Tweek lunges forward those last few feet, and his teeth sink deep into Craig’s shoulder, pinning him to the wall.

Craig barely manages to keep himself from screaming. It’s like someone detonated a bomb in his shoulder, white hot, and he feels teeth grind agonizingly against bone. But if he scares Tweek again, he’ll only make things worse.

So Craig reaches out with his good arm and runs his hand across Tweek’s shoulder.

The action seems to confuse Tweek more than anything; while he doesn’t release Craig, he doesn’t tear him in half, either. It’s a start. “Hey, Tweek.” His voice is choked and raw, but steady. “I’m sorry...That probably scared you real bad, huh?” He strokes his fingers through Tweek’s hair, thinking, through the haze of pain, about how his mom used to take care of him when he was small and scared. “It’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. They aren’t gonna hurt you, either. They aren’t gonna fucking touch you, okay? It’s alright, I swear to god, it’s gonna be okay…” His voice wavers, and the touch turns into more of an embrace as Craig clutches at Tweek, trying desperately to keep the edges of his vision from going black. He’s still got some feeling in his left arm, so he angles his wrist to brush his fingers against Tweek’s hand. “It’s okay…”

And somehow, the low rumble of aggression slows, dulls, stops altogether. A shuddering whine takes its place. Something sparks in Tweek’s eyes, and in a wonderful, beautiful moment of relief, he releases Craig. The whine turns into a croaking sob, and Craig feels his heart break a little.

Tweek recognizes him.

“Shhhhh, shhh, shh...” He keeps his voice low, keeps stroking Tweek’s hair. “It’s alright. You didn’t mean it, it’s okay, shhh….” Tweek utters a broken little cry, and Craig brings his ragged arm around in a proper embrace, pain or no.

After a few moments, the adrenaline racing through his system finally connects to his brain, and Craig remembers why he was here in the first place. “Hhhh. Where’s that fucking coffee cup…” He gropes around him with his good hand and finds it miraculously upright. “Hey, Tweek. Hey, here you go. This’ll help, won’t it…?”

Tweek, who has been staring, devastated, at Craig’s wound, looks up sharply, eyes wide. His taloned hands scrabble for it, and Craig is only too willing to give it up. Tweek rips the lid away and brings his maw down around the paper cup, drinking deep and desperate.

It starts to work almost immediately. Tweek’s already noticeably less bulky: tail fading, talons retreating, teeth settling back to their normal size and shape. By his third gulp his voice is recognizable, and for Craig it’s the worst part. He’d prefer the threatening growl to the guilty, aching sobs. He hugs Tweek back to his chest, muttering reassurances into his ear, ignoring the flare of pain and the tacky blood still dripping down his back. The cup’s empty when Tweek finally finds his words, his wet, green eyes slowly fading in from the black sockets.

“Craig, I didn’t— I can’t— God, I’m so sorry—!” And anything else that might be said trails off into shuddering sobs, and Craig just shakes his head, keeps him close.

“No, nono, shhhhh…”

He doesn’t know exactly when people finally come to survey they damage, but come they do. He’s vaguely aware of being separated from Tweek, and he thinks he might lash out as he struggles. Someone yells something about leaving, and infirmaries, and blood, but Craig just wants Tweek safe. He thinks he says so. He hopes he says so. It’s getting hard to think. He’s lying down very suddenly, but someone has his hand, and he thinks it might be Tweek, so he thinks about holding on as hard as he can. Then something jars his shoulder, and the world turns grey, and he doesn’t think about anything at all.

-- -- -- -- --

“He’s going to be alright, you know.”

The voice snaps Tweek out of his daze, makes him jump badly. “W-what?”

The black haired woman sitting in the waiting room with him smiles a bit at that. “Junior Researcher Tucker,” she clarifies. “He’ll be alright.”

Tweek looks down at Craig’s hat in his hands, feeling miserable. “He might not have been...”

The guards had come, finally, to make sure Craig wasn’t dead. It had been a near thing, too. If Tweek had nicked an artery, he’d definitely have died before help arrived. They’d whisked Craig off to the medical bay (though he’d been fairly adamant he stay to protect Tweek; had, in fact, punched another researcher square in the face in the ensuing struggle), and Tweek had stayed there, clothing shredded, covered in blood, still sobbing.

At least until the arrival of the woman in question, dressed in a crisp black suit, who shouted down the head of security who wanted him “neutralized”, who insisted on his changing and showering, who personally escorted him to the waiting room where they’d been ever since.

He assumes she must be one of the staff psychologists. But she has not asked about what happened in his holding cell. She has not even asked about the experiments leading up to it. She has instead asked a lot of questions about him and about Craig, and also gotten up three times to get him more coffee.

Her voice shakes him from his thoughts again. “You didn’t kill him, though.”

“I could have,” he chokes out. “I almost did.”

“But you didn’t,” she says again. “You controlled yourself, in that moment. You recognized him.”

That part is still a little hazy in his mind, though. He remembers the withdrawal starting. He remembers the pressure behind his teeth and the splitting headache. He remembers red, red, red. And somewhere in there, he knows Craig spoke to him, calmed him...and was attacked by him. The memory of the taste of blood in his throat, Craig holding him close, apologizing as if he was the one to blame… And then recovery, blessed caffeine, and realizing fully what he had done.

He has told this strange woman his version of events several times now, though this is the first time he manages it without sobbing. She gave him Craig’s hat to hold on to while they waited. It’s more comforting than it should be.

“You recognized him, SCP-████. I think you should give yourself more credit. Junior Researcher Tucker certainly does.” She smiles at him then, and he thinks suddenly, in the back of his mind, that she’s very young. “He’s helped you immensely, but you’ve done a lot of growing as well.”

He shrugs a bit at this, skeptical. It doesn’t change what he’s done, and not just to Craig. He’s killed people. So, so many.

“You shouldn’t have even been in experiments these past few weeks.” Tweek’s head snaps up, and he’s surprised to see irritation on her face. “Your condition was stable, remarkably so. Junior Researcher Tucker even approached them beforehand. But they went ahead with testing anyway. And for that I’d like to apologize.” She takes a deep breath. “The Foundation is meant for humanity’s protection from objects and creatures such as yourself; but it’s also meant for your protection, from those who would use and harm you.”

Tweek is too stunned to speak. He’s at a complete loss.

“I understand if you don’t trust us, SCP-████, but Junior Researcher Tucker has shown nothing but care and compassion for you.” Her mouth quirks oddly, eyes amused. “Much more than he strictly should.”

Tweek feels his face growing warm, realizing what she’s getting at. He’s tried not to think much about whatever it is he feels for Craig, for Craig’s own sake. But it’s awfully hard when Craig is so gentle when they speak. When he smiles and laughs and looks at Tweek, not through him. He thinks about Craig, gravely injured but still holding him close, and his stomach flip-flops.

“You’ve had quite the effect on him as well, of course.” And that really gets his attention, as much as he hates himself for it. If the woman notices, she doesn’t let on. She simply regards her own cup of coffee as she continues. “He’s an abrasive young man. More inclined to rude gestures than team work. But there’s been a substantive shift in his personality lately. It’s been noted by several researchers and other staff who’ve worked with him. And it seems to have started around the time he was assigned to you, SCP-████.”

And Tweek wants very, very badly to ask more about that, even if it isn’t his place to do so. But right at that moment, one of the medical staff steps into view.

“Ma’am,” he addresses the woman. “He can be seen now.” He eyes Tweek warily, but otherwise ignores him.

“Thank you.” She looks to Tweek. “Shall we?”

Guilty or not, there’s no way he could say no to that invitation. To give himself some much-needed courage, he puts on Craig’s hat. It feels just a little bit like armour.

The room is dim and full of softly beeping machines. When Tweek sees Craig, his eyes well up, and everything warps to a too-bright blur. “Craig…!” His voice breaks, shatters, really, but god it’s so good to see him safe.

And even though he’s doped up on painkillers and hooked to about four different machines, he smiles just a bit through that haze, his good hand struggling weakly against the sheets. Tweek doesn’t hesitate to move and take it, doesn’t think about the waiting room woman’s knowing look, doesn’t think about how the medical staff might react to him grabbing the man he tried to kill only hours before; all he can think of is touching Craig.

“H-hey,” Tweek murmurs.

Craig squeezes his fingers. “Hey...” His voice is raspy and distant. Tweek sits on the bed next to him, reaching a hand to brush his hair out of his face. Craig’s eyes focus slightly. “...Hat,” he manages this time, and Tweek can’t quite help the soft smile that spreads across his face.

“Yeah. It’s mine until you’re better.”

Craig makes a sound that is probably protest; and it’s so familiar, this gentle almost-arguing. He’s still wracked with guilt, but he feels a little lighter like this.

Eventually, though, it’s time to go. Craig is exhausted, and needs rest to heal.

The woman guides him out of the medical room, and escorts him back towards his cell. The floors and walls of the hallway are already clean. He tries not to look at the guards when they wave them through the checkpoint.

They’re silent as they walk, and it’s not companionable silence, not by a long shot, but it isn’t really uncomfortable, either. And since she’s been so understanding, so oddly apologetic, so nice to him, Tweek can’t resist asking. “Can...can I see him again?”

She turns to him, surprised. “Of course you can. Weren’t you listening before in the waiting room?” And that’s the end of that.

They stop outside the door to his cell. He can’t smell blood anymore, which is a blessed relief. She scans her keycard, and he hears the familiar sound of the locks disengaging. His cell is clean, too.

He knows he needs to go back. He hates it. But it’s safe here.

“Um, thank you…” He realizes he has no idea who this woman actually is.

As if sensing this, she smiles, and holds out her hand, which he shakes awkwardly. “Site Director Wendy Testaburger. I hope we meet again under slightly happier circumstances, SCP-████.”

And then he’s inside, and the door is closing, and she’s gone.

He struggles to process that, at first, but puts it aside for the time being. The first thing he does to occupy himself is to start the coffee maker. That’s going to be an obsessive priority-number-one for weeks, just like it always is after an “episode”. And after making sure he has a full pot of coffee in easy reach, he turns off the light and curls up tightly on his cot as the events of the day finally catch up to him.

The tears aren’t long in coming.

[presidentmeachum]

I know you have those hc's about giving Ward a blowjob but can you mybe write a one shot? I need some NSFW Ward stuff

You sighed. Wondering why your fucking boyfriend was late this time. You’ve been waiting 30 minutes now and 15 minutes ago he promised he’d be here. You sighed again.

“Hey, hey, hey!”, you heard behind you. “So, so, soooo..”, he began while he grabbed your shoulders and turned you around, “..sorry I’m late, there’s this thing at work and I couldn’t leave and they gave me a bad time for leaving for dinner..”. You raised your eyebrow. “..so I told them they have to get some food so we could continue–”. “Hold up”, you cut him off, “ are you telling me you’re going back after this?”. Ward gave you a cheeky smile, pulled you into a hug and then kissed your neck. “You are súch a asshole Ward! Can’t believe you are doing this to me again!”. “Stop fucking whining and get inside”, Ward replied. “You are just mad that you aren’t getting laid tonight”. Your jaw dropped out of astonishment. “Asshole”, you said as you unwrapped yourself from him and headed towards the entrance. Ward just stood there with a big grin on his face. “Hey, at least you won’t have to change the sheets again tomorrow morning. You’re always complaining about..”, he stopped talking when an elderly couple walked by and looked curiously at your boyfriend. Ward laughed. “Okay baby, lets go get dinner”, he said while walking towards the door and holding it open, presenting himself like some kind of gentleman while gesturing towards the entrance.

“I’m fucking hungry”, you said. “I know” Ward replied, trying to hide his smile. “Jezus what now Ward?”. “Well it’s just.. You’ve been hangry a lot lately”. Again, you raised a eyebrow. “You know, angry because you’re hungry..?”. You just ignored him. The waiter came by and took your order. While eating, nobody said a word. “Baby listen, I’m really sorry okay, I’ll make it up to you”, Ward said while bowing down. You had lowered your head so you were facing your lap, Ward trying to get some eye contact. “I just miss you a lot lately, you’ve been so busy and I feel neglected”. “Shit, I’m so sorry.. I.. What if we take some days off next week and head to the Hamptons?”, he asked sweetly. You looked up to a pair of puppy eyes. You knew you could never be angry at that pretty face for a long time. You sighed. “Alright, alright”, you said with a soft smile.

“Are you still going back to the office tho?”, you asked carefully. “I’m so sorry, they just really need me and depend on me”, he said while looking down. “The last couple of weeks are crazy busy at the office, just the expansion in China and all the stress.. I just need a break too you know. With you”, he said while looking up at you. Again, with those beautiful puppy eyes. “You can’t do this to me again Ward..”, you began. “Hey! Are you listening?”, you said strictly at the sight of Ward looking at his phone. “Sorry, have to be back in 20″, he replied. “You are paying for fucking dinner this time, mister”. He smiled, not laughing at you but just admiring you. Your big mouth was one the characteristics he liked the most about you. “You know I love you right? Everyone at the office is fucking jealous I’m dating New York finest”, he said with a cheeky smile. “Have they told you that?”, you asked him. “Told me what? That you’re New York finest?”, he teased. “No Ward, you know what I mean”. 

He turned around to a couple of guys and asked them “Isn’t she New York finest?”, with one of the biggest pokerfaces I’ve ever seen. “Fucking embarrassing”, you thought while blushing majorly. To my surprise they all complied and Ward turned around, proud as ever. “You are such a show off”, you told him. “You are such a beauty”, he replied while leaning forward. You knew what he was doing. Trying to make you forgive him, trying to get on your good side. You were sure you wasn’t going to let him until you felt his hand stroking your inner thigh under the table. “Stop it Ward, there are people all around us”. He grinned widely. “How did you came here?”, he asked. “C-car”, you replied while you felt his hands coming closer to your center. “Listen Y/N, I’m going to get the bill, you are going to get your coat, walk outside and wait for me there. He pulled back his hands and you nodded while standing up.

You did as he asked and waited outside. Ward payed the bill, went outside and grabbed your hand. “Woah!”, you called out while Ward dragged you along. “Why are we going so fast and why aren’t you wearing your coat?”. “20 minutes babe, left my coat at the office. You parked at the usual place?”. “Yes but you’re going to get sick and–”. “Shh, shh, we’re almost there”, he cut you off. “Keys?”, he asked. You pressed the unlock button on your car key and Ward opened the backdoor, pushing you down on the seat. He squeezed part of himself between you and the seat, the other half of him laying on top of you. “Ward..”, you tried. “Shhh, I am going to make you feel good”, he said in a low voice, making you shiver allover. He started kissing you passionately, first your mouth, then your ear, then your neck and then your collarbone. You moaned quietly. “What if someone hears us?”, you asked worried. “You.. have to.. be real.. quiet” he said, kissing you between the words. Then you felt his hands moving all over you. This was too much, Ward was everywhere and you loved it. Thinking straight was getting more difficult by the second. Ward’s left hand disappeared under your shirt, leading to your bra where he cupped your breast. His other hand went down, opened the button of your pants and sliding down, rubbing your clit. “Fuck”, you said trough your kiss. One of your hands was combing his hair and the other scratched his back while you spread your legs around him. 

It was all happening so fast but in your head it did not matter anymore, all you wanted is Ward. You kept getting more turned on by the second, as you felt Ward’s length getting rock hard between your legs. A loud moan left your mouth as you felt Ward’s index and middle finger enter you, while his thumb circled your clit. He kept rubbing harder and harder while his fingers moved rapidly inside and out you. You slammed your head backwards and arched your back while your boyfriend kept rubbing you fast. “Come for me baby”, he said. “You’re doing great baby”, encouraging you. You knew that was all you needed to get you there as you came to your climax and screamed out his name. Making some convulsions as you came, Ward steadied you and kept you in place, whispering soft things and sweetly reassuring you. “You are okay baby, you were great”.

After a minute of recovering, you slipped from underneath him, out of the car, making sure your clothes were in place. “Your turn”, you said teasing him. You grabbed Wards kneecaps and pulled them towards you. He sat up as you unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants, allowing his cock to spring free. For a second you admired him. You were so lucky to date such a sweet, handsome, intelligent and sometimes asshole guy, with such a big cock. You woke yourself from up your thought and grabbed his length while your other hand carefully played with his balls. He watched you carefully. You stroked him as he let out soft noises. “Y/N.. time..”, he said in a weak voice. You looked up as your mouth closed over the tip and moved down further, your hand still wrapped around him. “Fuck”, he cursed under his breath. Your mouth and hand worked together and stroked him passionately, your hand twisting around him while your tongue worked up, down and around him. Every time you looked up he tossed his head backwards, swearing softly. Then you decided to move faster and you felt him trembling beneath you. Ward let out noises in a hoarse and husky voice. You know he was really close when his legs started shaking. “I’m.. I’m gonna cum”, he said, hoarse as ever. Ward moaned like crazy, as if you were home. You did not expect this at all, normally he wouldn’t do that in public because he was too scared of someone walking in on them. Given the fact that he was really stressed, this must be what he really needed.

You moved faster and faster as you felt a hot liquid enter your mouth. You looked up at him as you swallowed it. “Good”, he said while stroking your hair. “Fuck Y/N, that was fucking amazing”. You smiled at the sight of your relieved boyfriend. “Now fix your clothes and I’ll get you to work”, you said while kissing his cheek. Ward smiled. “We should do this more often”, he said with a wide grin. “Yea, yea mister, get dressed before anyone from Wallstreet sees us, you replied with a warm smile on your face.

[hotchnerfuckmeup]

Gone Pt. 5

Part One  Part Two  Part Three  Part Four

A/N:  This has been on hold for such a long time, and I’ve just been so busy with life, it’s been hard to keep up, but hey i’m back bitches and I’m finally writing again, go me.  So please enjoy the long awaited Part Five of Gone.  P.S. sorry if I stress you out at all with this one, shit gets real intense oops.  P.P.S. my requests are still open right now, but I will close them soon, so any more requests you have, send them in while you can!!  Side note: this is my 100th post, how serendipitous.

Word Count: 2,009

Warnings: smutty morning oral sex my bad.

The familiar sound of your son’s cries woke you from your slumber.  Without thinking about it, you began to remove the bed sheets from your body, but something was weighing you down, making it hard to move.  You looked over to see what the lump on your stomach was, and images from the day before came flooding back to you when you saw Aaron sound asleep, his arm draped protectively across your torso.

You basked in the memories of the heartfelt reunion in the BAU bullpen, the smile on his face when he met his son for the first time, the feeling of Jack safely in your arms after three years of being deprived of it.  After three years of not knowing whether or not you’d ever see the two men in your life that you loved more than anything, suddenly they were under the same roof as you.

Everything just felt so right.

You gently removed Aaron’s arm from your body and stood up to put a shirt on.  Then you walked out the door to go aid your crying son.  Quietly, you made your way down the hall but stopped short when the crying faded.  Leaning your ear against the door to the nursery, you could hear Jack shushing the baby boy.

“It’s okay baby brother,” you heard the boy say, your heart fluttering at the sound of his soft and comforting voice.  “It’s alright AJ.  Shh.  Our mommy and daddy are sleeping.”

Did he just say…?

He did.  He called you his mom.

You covered your mouth with one hand and your heart with the other.  How did you get so damn lucky?

On your tiptoes, you quietly made your way back to your bedroom, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.  God, there was just too much crying that’s been going on lately…

Once you were back in your room, Aaron was sitting up in bed, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes.

“Morning,” you muttered, climbing back onto the bed.  You wasted no time wrapping yourself around his figure, still enjoying the feeling of him next to you.

“Why are you up?” he asked, kissing your arm that wrapped around his neck.

“AJ was crying but I heard Jack handling it.”  You smiled into his shoulder.  “He called me his mom.”

Aaron turned to face you, a subtle smile setting on his lips.  “I know.”  You furrowed your eyebrows, confused.  “Before we left, he was worried about you.  He kept telling me that he saw you as a mother and how he didn’t want to lose another one.  It just made it harder on me, too, knowing I was taking that away from him a second time.”

The memory of them leaving ached your heart.  “Stop, okay?  I’m done hearing that.  Nothing but happy thoughts right now,” you said, pulling him into a hug.  Until you have to leave again, you thought, but you pushed it away, pressing your lips to Aaron’s.  “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied, pulling you to lay on the bed.  Slowly, he ran his fingers against your skin, down your body.  They left goosebumps in their wake, causing you to shiver.  You moaned as his mouth was on yours again.

“The kids are awake,” you whispered as he took of the shirt you’d put on earlier.

“Then you’re going to have to keep quiet,” he replied with a smirk, his lips making their way down your body.  He was peppering kisses down your body, on your neck, collarbone, breasts, and stomach.  He clearly did not get enough love-making in the night before.

“Jack could come in here,” you warned him, gripping onto the bed sheets beneath you.  

“I’ll make this quick,” he said, hovering above your sex.  The feeling of his hot breath made you moan.  “Shh,” he warned, grabbing your hand.  

Without warning, his mouth was on you, licking up your arousal.  You sucked your bottom lip into your mouth, trying to hold back moans that were bubbling in your throat.  He took his time, licking clean up your slit at first then circling his tongue around your clit.  It was a blissful torture, seeming to be exactly what you needed this early in the morning.  

Using his free hand, he held down your restless hips.  

“Jesus just fuck me already,” you whisper-shouted, tired of the teasing.  He chuckled against your heat, the sensation causing you to moan.  

“Shhh,” he said again, a smile on his face.  He started rubbing his fingers against your folds, readying your entrance.  You placed a hand hard on your mouth, desperate to keep quiet.  Aaron was loving every second of this a little too much.  You internally groaned.

Without warning you, he inserted his fingers into you, quickly removing them and replacing them, again and again while his mouth worked at your bundle of nerves.  You tried to ignore the fact that your sons were a few feet away, both probably wide awake.  Biting the palm of your hand, you squeezed Aaron’s hand that was holding yours, signalling that you were close.

“Come for me,” he whispered against your clit, sending you straight over the edge.  You hit the wall of pure pleasure fast and hard, your legs shaking and thrusting your hips to ride out your high.  You successfully kept quiet, though, managing to keep your screams of euphoria under your breath.

Once you were spent, Aaron removed his finger and sucked from them your juices, smirking to himself.

“See?” he said.  “Just a couple minutes.”

You rolled your eyes as you panted, looking up at him.  He smiled down at you, getting up to nab a quick kiss before getting out of bed, throwing his boxers on and head out the door.  You sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

Everything just felt so right.

“We are all going to be there.  The whole team,” Emily said through the phone.

“I’ll check and make sure.  I don’t really know what his protective detail will say about it and I don’t even know how much long he’ll be here,” you replied, spooning AJ another bite of cereal.  The phone was positioned between your cheek and shoulder and you were feeding AJ with one hand, and yourself with the other.  Queen of multitasking, honestly.

“Funny you should say that, because I already talked to his detail,” she said. 

“Em, I told you-”

“I know, Y/N, but he’s our family, too.”

You sighed.  She was right, after all.  They’ve all known Aaron much longer than you have.

“Plus you had him all last night, give us some time with him, too.”  Emily’s voice was light and playful, trying to lighten the dark mood that surrounded you.  Happiness was definitely what you were feeling with Aaron and Jack here, but you knew it was only a matter of time that they would be gone again, so in the back of your mind lingered that feeling of sadness, eager to make itself known.

The BAU team lost a member that day when he left, you weren’t the only one.  You had to always keep that in mind.

“Like I said, I’ll talk to him.  I’m sure Jack would love it, but I have to make sure,��� you said.

“Good.  And you can tell him his detail is okay with it.  As long as they’re with us,” she replied.  You could hear the smirk in her voice.  You smiled and shook your head.

“Bye.”  After hanging up the phone, Aaron walked into the kitchen with Jack in tow.

“Morning Y/N,” Jack said, giving you a hug.  “Good morning AJ!”   His smile was big and bright and beautiful.

“Hey buddy,” you replied, handing him AJ food.  “Mind feeding him for me?”  He nodded and sat down next to his brother.  You got up and followed Aaron to the stove, where he was starting to make bacon.

“Prentiss called me,” he said.  His face was impassive and his voice was low.

“I just got off the phone with her.  I’m guess she asked you the same thing,” you said, wrapping your arms around his stomach and leaning into his back.

“Y/N,” he grunted.  He wasn’t happy with the idea.  “That is way too risky.  We can’t.”  Despite his tone, he leaned slightly into you, letting you kiss his shoulder blades.

“How about instead of at her house, we just meet at the BAU?” you suggested, trying to persuade him.  They’ve missed out on him for three years, they needed this.  And he needed this.

“That’s hardly any safer,” he replied.  You could tell he wanted to try, but he really didn’t want to risk anything.

“You said yourself that your protective unit is the best you’ve ever dealt with and that you and Jack were safest at the BAU than anyplace,” you reminded him.  It was a battle to even get him to agree to come back to the house, but he trusted his detail.  He knew they were safe.

“I don’t know,” he said, finally looking at you.  You sighed and looked at his defeated face.  He was such a broken man.  He’d been tortured, stalked, and forced to leave by one man.  One person who had the power to bring down the strongest man you knew.  The only man you loved.

“They lost you too, Aaron,” you said, looking into his eyes, that were filled suddenly with tears.  “And you lost them.”  He pressed his lips together and blinked back the tears.  Your heart slowly broke at the sight.  He nodded, grabbing you and silently crying into your shoulder.  You held him to you, gently rubbing his back and looking behind him at your boys, who were oblivious.  Jack was happily feeding AJ, AJ happily eating his food.

Despite the heaviness in the room, everything just felt so right.

“You know I would tell you if I could,” Aaron said, looking at Reid.

“I just wish I knew where I could go if I ever needed to tell you anything,” the genius replied.  The team had been conversing for a while now, mainly asking him questions he knew he couldn’t answer.

“We could find a place to have a dead letter drop,” Emily said matter-of-factly as if it was obvious.  “That’s a method of communicating through espionage-”

“We know what a dead letter drop is,” JJ said, cutting Emily off with a smirk.

“As fun as that would be, I still don’t think it’s a good idea,” Aaron admitted, holding AJ on his lap.

“Fine, fine,” Emily said.  “Was worth a shot.”

“I’m going to go get more ice, can you come with me JJ?” you asked the blond, standing up from the round table.  She nodded, shoving one last cheeto in her mouth before standing up and following you out the door, the sound of laughter fading behind you.

“It’s just so good to see him again,” she said as you walked towards the entrance of the bullpen.

“I know you’ve all missed him just as much as I have so it made sense he’d spend some more time with everyone,” you replied.

“He’s always-” JJ started, but she stopped short when something caught her eye.  You followed her line of sight, you heart dropping at what you saw.  “Oh my god,” she said as she ran towards Chad, one of the men on Aaron’s protective detail.  He was laying in the middle of the floor, lifeless and covered in blood.

You ran up to be beside her, heart pumping.  “No, oh my god.”

She checked his pulse.  “Y/N you need to get Aaron.  Now,” she said frantically.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

That voice.  

It was an eerily familiar one.

It was the voice that drove your family away from you.  The voice that taunted your dreams for years.

Before you could scream, two shots rang out and the world turned black.

Because even when everything just feels so right, it can all fall apart in the blink of an eye.

[thisxolove]

Nothing Without You (Chapter 4)

Abel

I stood in the doorway of the bathroom with my eyes wide. Nicki’s little sister found one of my pills. Fuck! I don’t need this shit right now!

I felt my mind racing trying to search for a good excuse.

“Aleve,” I quickly explained the blue pill in her hand, “I had a headache.”

She ruffled her eyebrows and a corner of her mouth opened in suspicion.

I tried my best to look away from her eyes because I could see her studying me. I knew my eyes were a shade of red and I didn’t need her seeing that. She’s known me for years enough to know what that means.

“Why are your eyes so red?”

Fuck, I knew she was gonna ask.

“I got allergies,” I said, looking away again, “I have to use the bathroom.”

I only said something in hopes that she would drop it.

She didn’t move, though. I was beginning to get impatient.

“Are you lying, Abel?” she asked.

I sighed. Obviously, I wasn’t going to get out of this without saying anything.

“Look, it’s not Aleve, okay? You can’t tell anybody.”

“What is it??” she asked in a louder voice.

“Shh!” I urged, “Look, you can’t be loud about this shit!”

“I thought you were done with drugs, Abel!” she says.

I could see the tears forming in her eyes, but her voice never calmed. I threw my hand around her mouth to quiet her down.

“Shhh!” I urged again, “Look, it’s only ecstasy. That’s the only thing I’ve done besides the weed. You have to be quiet, Christian.”

When I felt her calm down a little, I took my hand down.

“Why are you doing drugs again?! You know how dangerous that was!”

“I know! I don’t have any other choice.”

“What do you mean you don’t have a choice, Abel?”

“I can’t explain all that right now. Look, just don’t tell Nicki, okay?”

She didn’t respond and I began to get a little nervous about what that meant.

I took her arm, “You can’t tell Nicki, okay?”

Her eyebrows wrinkled in anger as she snatched her arm out of my grip.

“You’re a fucking liar!” she says to me.

She’s never cursed at me before. This shit was trippy. Without giving me a second thought, she walked past me out of the bathroom.

“Christian!” I said, trying to get her attention again. I needed to make sure she wouldn’t say anything.

But she ignored me and continued walking away.

I saw she had sat the pill on the vanity. I quickly took it and flushed it down the toilet before I banged on the countertop in frustration.

“Fuck!”

Later On That Night

We were all sitting at the dining room table with dinner plates sitting in front of us. What made this night awkward was the fact that Christian was sitting in the seat directly across the table from me. I could barely look up at her.

I guess Nicki noticed because she tapped me on the leg.

“You okay?” she asked.

I looked over at her and nodded. “I’m good.”

“So, Abel, what are your plans for this year?” Nicki’s mom suddenly says.

I was caught off guard and hated that I was immediately put on the spot. Shit!

“Um, I’m just working on my music,” I said.

“I love the new hair cut. It makes you look years younger,” she responds.

I awkwardly chuckled, “Yeah. I needed a change.”

“I’m proud of you. You’ve been doing really good, lately.”

“Thanks,” I say awkwardly before taking a sip of wine.

“Have you been to church in a while?”

My eyes widen. God, I don’t really feel like answering these questions. I’m already high as fuck.

“Um, with all of the things going on, I haven’t been able to attend church lately, but I pray everyday and my religion is gonna be a big inspiration for my next project,” I answered.

Hopefully that answer will satisfy her enough not to ask a follow up.

“Well, always remember, Abel, walking with Christ isn’t a religion, it’s a relationship.”

I nodded, “Note taken.”

“What? Abel, you’re gonna start singing gospel?” Nicki’s brother, CJ jokes.

I laugh, finally some comic relief to relieve some of this tension I’m feeling.

“What? Nah, man. Just gathering inspiration.”

“I’m down for this next one, bro. Beauty Behind the Madness was amazing,” he complimented.

I smiled in his direction, “Thanks, bro.”

“Yeah, Abel’s been doing such a great job, lately. Baby’s been on a roll,” Nicki said, touching my hair.

“Is it true you worked on Kiss Land and Beauty completely sober?” Nicki’s other brother, Jeremy, asked.

“Uh,” I hesitated, “Yeah. I did.”

“How??”

Shit! I hate follow up questions!

“I mean, it was something to get used to.”

“I know it had to be hard with everything in your music talking about the complete opposite of being sober,” CJ said.

I swallowed hard, “Um, it was kind of hard, but uh…”

“By God’s grace, he did it,” Nicki said, pridefully.

I tried to muster a smile but it was only awkward as fuck because I knew I was hiding a secret from them, all of them.

I caught eyes with Christian who was in the process of rolling hers before looking back down at her plate. It was so hard to see her so pissed off at me but I couldn’t really blame her.

“I’m actually proud of Abel for taking that step towards bettering himself,” Nicki’s dad said.

“Yeah, I’m excited to see what he does next,” Nicki adds on.

She smiles at me and I try my hardest to return it to her without showing too much eye contact out of fear that the red hues will show.

“Yeah, me too,” the quiet, sarcasm from Christian comes to my ears.

I felt the knots form in my stomach. She knows I’m lying to her sister, to her whole family. This shit is so awkward.

One Week Later

Nicki and I flew out to Florida to celebrate the anniversary of us meeting back in September of 2011. It’s 2024, man, time flies. I’m just happy I get to spend this moment with my baby, though.

It’s still pretty warm and tropical down here in the late summer season, so we decided to have a little get away with Nicki’s friend, Alex watching our kids back in California.

Tonight, we’re in our hotel room about to go to a club.

Nickiah

I was still in the bathroom, applying my makeup.

“Baby, you almost done?” Abel calls out to me.

As I finish up my highlight, I chuckle. He just doesn’t understand what us girls go through.

“Almost, baby. Hold your horses.”

I can’t believe that I met this man 13 years ago. The thought still runs chills down my spine.

I just hope we continue going strong.

Abel

Before Nicki came out of the bathroom, I popped two ecstasy pills. I’m starting to get used to the high feeling again and it’s been great.

I need a good time tonight and I don’t want it sober.

She walked out sporting a fitted black dress and high heels. My eyebrows perk up at the beautiful sight. Her thick lips colored wine red as her dark hair is pushed to one side of her head, draping over one eye.

“How do I look?” she asks.

“Damn, baby. I like it. I like it,” I said, nodding in approval.

“I’m glad you do, baby,” she blushed.

I chuckled, “Shit, you know they gonna say you in the illuminati with that eye covered and shit.”

She smacked her lips before laughing, “Boy please! I’m the last celebrity they should associate with the illuminati.”

“I’m just fuckin’ with you, baby,” I said laughing before taking her by the waist. “You ready to go?”

She smiled, “Shit, if you don’t back your sexy ass up off of me, I’m not gonna be ready to.”

I smiled and bit onto my lip. “Sexy? Shit, look at this ass you’re wearin’ ma.”

I slapped her ass as it wiggled in my hand.

“Boy, stop!!” she yelled. “You’re so nasty.”

“You like it, though.”

“You’re right, daddie. I do.”

She winked at me before switching her hips in front of me. I stared with a smirk plastered on my face as I felt the lust running through my veins.

As we entered the nightclub, cameras began flashing. Our security had to stand in between us and the fans. This ain’t 2011, bitch. I can’t be discreet up in these mother fuckers no more and Nicki is known to be with me, so they be peeping for her up in the club too.

We were escorted to the VIP section of the club where the leather couches sat. I started off right with a lit blunt to my face and a glass of Henny in my hand.

My baby sat beside me with her legs crossed, looking sexy as fuck. I held my blunt to her face.

She instinctively turned her head away from me. I chuckled.

“Come on, baby. Just one for the night,” I urged.

She began chuckling. “Baby, you know I don’t fuck with that shit.”

“Ain’t like you ain’t never did it before, baby. It’s our anniversary. Hit the blunt for daddie.”

She looked over at me and squinted her eyes in a very seductive way. The smile couldn’t leave her face. I knew I had sent a chill up her spine.

“Acting like the nigga you were back when I first met your ass, boy,” she said, taking the blunt from me.

I knew exactly what she was talking about too. It just brought back some good memories.

Flashback

Chicago, Illinois – September of 2011

Nickiah

When we got to the party everything was crazy! I literally wanted to turn my ass around and walk out, but I didn’t. The music bumped so loud I thought I would surely lose my sense of sound. Heavy smoke filled the room as I coughed my way through large crowds of people. I look up and see strippers stroking a pole, some with their tits out this shit was too much. I was instantly uncomfortable, I look around my fucking friends had left me. What the fuck? How am I supposed to know what to do?? I continue walking looking lost as hell smelling heavy scents of weed, people with alcohol breath, and the music was ear shaking. I hated to admit it but this shit was pretty creepy. Purple, pink and blue lights illuminated the club, it felt like Pandora’s fucking box. I kept walking until I found a section where there weren’t many people and sat my ass down. I heard this song started playing, it sounded familiar, it had a lot of bass playing to it.

‘Why you rushin’ me baby? It’s only us alone, I don’t wanna die tonight baby. So let me sip this slow. I’ll give you what you called for, just let me get in my zone.’

I knew it, ugh. The fucking guy my brothers listen to like fanatics. I look over to my right and on the couch was this nappy headed guy who looked pretty fucked up, he was slowly bobbing his head to the beat sipping some kind of liquor

“damn I wish they would turn him off…”

The guy must have heard what I said, I must have said it too loud because he looked over at me in disgust…

“what??” I asked in an annoyed way

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean??”

For a high guy he was pretty alert. “I just don’t listen to this guy”

“your problem is…?”

“all he talks about is sex and drugs, my problem is” I was trying to be a smart ass.

“keep your fucking comments to yourself”

Why was this guy so angry? Ja or CJ never even got this pissed when I talked about him

“dude calm down sorry, my brothers just always listen to him, like always and the guy is annoying”

“what did the guy ever do to you?”

“he’s just him, bad influence on my little brothers and he’s annoying”

“its not my fucking fault your brothers listen and next time cover your fucking ears or don’t say shit, cuz u don’t know the shit I been through to write this shit”

Wait? What just happened? Did he just say he wrote this??

“wait, you’re The Weeknd??”

“yes the fuck I am and I don’t appreciate you’re mouth”

Fuck I felt stupid. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend but why do u always sing about drugs and sex”

“motivation and my life”

“well you can have positive motives”

“nah, it’s the only thing in my life right now so…”

“oh…” It was awkward now, I just sat there sitting up straight, clutching the water bottle I had in between my legs

“who brings a fucking water bottle to a club?”

“excuse me??”

“I’m just asking…”

“well I do, I wasn’t even gonna come, my friends wanted me to”

“so you don’t do parties I can tell…”

“no, I’m above this shit”

“so u think u too good for it huh?”

“no not that, I just have morals…”

“you too fuckin’ uptight, u want one it’ll make you feel better you could loosen up” he said pulling out some pills shaking them. What the fuck was this??

“what is that??”

“ex, it’ll loosen you up”

“no I’m not taking that! I don’t do drugs look I think I have to go”

I stood up from the couch only to feel a soft hand grab my wrist softly…

Abel

She may have came off pretty bitchy, but she was pretty cute. I like shy girls, I love getting them open. She was really sexy and I loved her accent. Being in Chicago you see some of the sexiest girls. Pretty different from most. I didn’t want her to leave yet though…

“whoa baby, I’m not trying to turn you into a druggie or nothin’ I’m just saying, you need to loosen up some, you’re pretty uptight.”

“I don’t need loosening up and drugs aren’t me” she sat back down

“well if takin’ drugs just ain’t you then I can only ask for you to be you baby”

“well thanks”

“if you’re not into pills at least get a drink baby, you need to experience this fun”

“I don’t want to”

“I’m right here and its just a drink, perfectly legal”

I called for a glass of henny to come her way and she reluctantly took it. I nodded for her to sip it and she did and made a face, I guess it burned going down for her.

The Next Night

I drove to the club where the rest of the niggas were already. Fuck it, I could go for round three, especially with this chick. It’s Chicago, shit I might as well turn up while I can. The strippers here are different, I don’t know they have that Chicago swag and slang, it was kind of a turn on.

 I started off by getting fucked up. Rolling my weed up while sippin’ my glass of henny. I looked over at Nicki, she kind of scoffed at the sight. I finished rolling it up and lit it on fire inhaling deep. I continued this until I felt my brain melt, I knew I was fucked up.

“come on baby, don’t be as up tight as last night”

“I’m not Abel lol” I saw her take a sip of alize. “how was your show?”

“it was crack as fuck, I rock it out like a pro baby” I said bobbin’ my head to the falsetto beat of the club music. I looked over and noticed a deep thought on her face, she probably was trying to imply what I meant by that. “I’m sorry if its too much for you to handle, America’s sweetheart” I knew that would fuck with her mind

“don’t you fucking call me that!”

“and why not?”

“just because the media tries to make me out to be perfect, I’m not!”

“well are u down baby?”

“for whatever baby…”

I smiled at her response and passed my blunt to her she took it in confusion.

“just put it to your lips and inhale, watch all your problems disappear”

I could tell she was kind of scared. “I’m right here, I got you girl just act on what you say.”

Nickiah

I was scared as hell, I knew weed was considered a drug to me. It may not have been hardcore but it sure as hell got you high, I didn’t even like the feeling of that alcohol having control of my body, I knew this shit would make me nervous. I heard what he said it was kind of reassuring, but I thought about my family. What if they knew I was at a strip club late at night about to smoke a blunt from a guy I just met the night before?? My daddy would definitely freak. I inhaled and thought, why not? I sucked on the blunt for a while before choking and coughing forcefully. I looked over to Abel for reassurance that this shit was safe and he nodded his head for me to continue. I sucked in again starting to choke. I kept repeating until I felt my brain feel light. I stopped thinking about a lot of things. I laid back on the couch and passed his blunt back to him.

“I guess you are down baby”

“I don’t know I feel pretty comfortable with you”

“how comfortable?”

I didn’t know what he meant by that but I saw him pull the same bottle he had from last night out and shake em, I got pretty nervous about the whole operation.

“uhhh Abel, I don’t know if pills are my thing”

“its just ecstasy baby, it won’t hurt you and its not addicting from the first use so don’t worry”

Damn he was smart as fuck about drugs. “um, you sure…”

“I won’t let nothing happen to you ma”

His voice was so reassuring. I held my hand out as he shook a light blue pill into my hand.

“I’m gonna roll with you baby. Rolling on these disco biscuits is second nature to me”

I laughed as I swallowed mine down with my alize. I looked over and he popped one too. I was so scared, I never did drugs before. I didn’t know what was expected next. It was kind of like going into a surgery in the hospital, you didn’t know the outcome or if it would have devastating effects on your body. It was only a matter of time to see what this pill would do to me; but, I trusted Abel.

In about 15 minutes I started to feel a second affect aside from the weed in my system. It was taking over my body, I felt so slow for a moment. The whole club moved in slow motion, the music was slow motion in my ears. I noticed I couldn’t stop rubbing my thighs for some reason, I started to feel a warm puddle form on my panties. What the fuck was going on? What the fuck was turning me on? I looked over at Abel and he was higher too, his eyes were bloodshot and he looked back at me with lust in his eyes.

I felt his lips come in contact with mine, but I was so high my defense was down. I couldn’t fight him; not that I wanted to. I let a few moans escape my mouth as he sucked my bottom lip and licked on my lips. I opened my mouth to feel his tongue attack mine. He was such a good kisser, as he took my tongue into his mouth and sucked on it. I almost came right there on the couch.

I had to stop him before we’d be fucking in this club. I lightly pushed him off of me. “no daddie, lets go back to my house”

End Flashback

Abel

I watched as my baby took a couple puffs from my blunt and stained it with a ring of lipstick. It was sexy as fuck to me, though. I ain’t have no problems.

When she finished taking the drags, I saw her clench her chest before coughing a bit.

“Not used to it anymore, huh?”

“Hell no,” she answered before laughing. “Take this death stick.”

“Hey, those are cigarettes. Marijuana is a miracle.”

“Whatever. Same difference,” she said.

I laughed before finishing up my blunt. I felt my brain melting along with the two ecstasy pills flowing in my veins. The music seemed to bass even slower through the loud speakers. The colors in the club seemed distorted, but it only intensified the high even more. I was loving this shit.

Nicki stood up and sat across my lap. I raised my eyebrows in curiosity as my hands found their way to her ass.

“Needed a new seat, baby?” I asked.

“Yeah, I wanted to sit on my daddie,” she said, leaning in to kiss me.

I smelled the fragrance booming from her neck. That shit turned me on. There were star shaped earrings hanging from her earlobes and a star shaped necklace adorning her neck.

“I love you, baby,” she said.

“I love you too,” I said, kissing her lips one more time, “Stargirl.”

She smiled before backing away to face me. “Stargirl?”

“Yeah, ma,” I said, my voice drooping in highness. “You’re a star, girl.”

She blushed, “I like that name, daddie.”

“I do, too, baby. I just wanna see you shine for me, Stargirl.”

She bit her bottom lip, “Well, you’re already shining for me, Starboy.”

I chuckled. “Really, baby?”

“Every Stargirl needs her Starboy, right?”

I nodded, “You right, ma. I like it.”

She continued to smile with lust in her eyes before she began kissing on my neck. I could feel her warm breath tickling my skin and I felt my dick wanting to rise. I’m gonna end up fuckin’ her in this club if she don’t stop.

“Baby, you want that shit online?” I asked, with a smile.

“What?”

“You getting this dick,” I chuckled.

She laughed. “I don’t want that online. That shit would be so awkward.”

“Then you better sit your Stargirl ass down somewhere before I whip this bitch out.”

I slapped her on the ass before she got off my lap. “Fine, with your nasty ass.”

“You make me nasty, baby.”

“I know and I love it, daddie.”

Just then, I heard some familiar lyrics come over the speakers.

“We are not the same. I am too wreckless. I’m not tryna go in that direction. These niggas, they been doin’ too much flexin’ and they about to call the wrong attention. And I don’t got no patience, no more testin’. I do shit how I want, don’t need no blessin’. XO niggas ain’t nothin’ to mess with. Nobody stoppin’ us, oh no, we destined. And everybody ‘round you is so basic. I’m never rockin’ white; I’m like a racist. I don’t drink my liquor with a chase in. That money is the only thing I’m chasin’, and some dope dimes on some coke lines. Gimme head all night, cum four times. Baby girl just wanna smoke a pound, do an ounce, get some dick, tell her friends about it.”

I smiled in memory of where Beauty Behind the Madness went. The creative energy was beginning to run through my veins that night in the club. What’s my next vision? Where am I gonna take it? The anticipation is killing me.

“You still listen to The Weeknd?” I heard this nigga say a few feet away from me.

“Not like I used to,” the guy he asked replied.

“Yeah, his shit changed. He ain’t the same.”

“Shit is corny, now. Like he try to be something he’s not no more.”

“Right, he fucked up after Trilogy. This new shit wack as fuck.”

“Don’t believe the rumors, bitch I’m still a user. I’m still rockin’ camo and still roll with shooters. I’m a villain in my city. I just made another killin’. I’ma spend it all on bitches.”

The guy laughed. “Listen at this fake shit. Knowing damn well, he don’t rock with his old shit anymore.”

I began to feel my blood boiling. This shit isn’t easy to stomach. As easy as it should be to blow off, this isn’t. I’m having a hard time taking this criticism because I knew I was lying in that fucking song. Yeah, Beauty blew up, but I only sung about the drugs because that’s what sells for me. I was only smoking weed. I wasn’t doing shit else, so the fact that these niggas who obviously used to be fans can hear it in my music really gets to me.

I don’t know how I should feel about this shit.

“Man, The Weeknd don’t even do drugs anymore. He fake as hell.”

“How you know he don’t do drugs anymore?”

“You could tell. He ain’t real anymore. Kiss Land was garbage and Beauty Behind the Madness wasn’t shit either. Sounded like some old Michael Jackson rip-offs and cheesy radio hits.”

“Yeah, that’s why I stopped fuckin’ with him. He tries too hard to sound real and raw like he used to, just like in King of the Fall. That shit sounded fake and watered down.”

“Yeah, he definitely tries too hard with this wack shit now. I ain’t feelin’ it ‘cuz I know it ain’t real.”

At that point, I couldn’t stand to hear anymore. I stood up to my feet.

This shit ain’t cool, man.