#ignore me sorry this is my first time buying a kpop album

[sadfragilegirl]

A First Post Written by a Sad and Fragile Girl Named Queennie

Hello and Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening to you all.

This is the one and only Queennie, finally returned aka signing up to Tumblr again with a new username, @sadfragilegirl.

I. Why @sadfragilegirl? (Behind the Tumblr username)

The reason why I wrote this as my username as because my current self is now a Sad and Fragile Girl. That's because of all those things that are happening that are really bad, really upsetting and really brought me trauma for the rest of my life. Plus, after what I remember way back then when gained such terrible things on me when I was on Tumblr days last year 2018 and year 2020 like receiving hate and criticism and losing my mutuals by blocking me, I became a Sad and Fragile Girl.

II. Admitting My Mistakes From Long Ago Way Back In 2018 (@heart-baek-bleed) and 2020 (@heart-bleeding-autism-angel)

I would like to tell everyone who remember me as @heart-baek-bleed (2018) and @heart-bleeding-autism-angel (2020) that I apologize for everyone for acting myself such behavior even I have Autism. Especially to my former mutual @peacheclair back in way back then when I was @heart-baek-bleed in year 2018.

@peacheclair, when I read your post about me, I realized this now that I felt wronged because of my very problematic behavior even I have Autism like wanting to buy stuff from me in my wishlist like Kpop albums and merch and DVDs and posting things by myself that are unnecessary and upsetting to you like "I want to cough up blood", "I want to disappear", "I want to kill myself" and "I want to bang myself to the wall". In the end, it brought such greatest downfalls by myself. That's the reason why I received anonymous hate messages (and sometimes non-anonymous hate messages) and losing my favorite mutuals because of me. And because of me and my behavior as myself with Autism, I became a monster because of me. And now, people think that I am a problematic and a monster because of those things that I did to hurt anyone and everyone.

Now that I am 22 years old and my life becoming more difficult because of remembering my past on Tumblr from year 2018 and year 2020. And if I want to make a new friend, whether it's online or in real life, it gets even harder especially when I have Autism. And when I get older, it's even get harder to make friends who has the same age or even the same interest as me anymore. And I know it will end with the same result... Wanting to make a new friend but in the end, they either ghosting me (In a friendship way) or blocking me or ignoring me...And that it was my biggest fear when making new friends who has with Autism. And that it brought me depression and anxiety in my life that I don't know if I could overcome it that it will take forever for me to recover.

I felt so shameful of myself and that's the reason why I turned myself into a Sad and Fragile Girl, who accepted the fact that even I have Autism, I am a problematic person and a monster. And I know that I would make them unhappy and I know I might hurt them and they will hate me and be with friends with someone else than me instead because of my terrible past on Tumblr from 2018 and 2020.

And with that...the trauma from this past was still standing there like a scar that would never heal.

With this again, I am sorry once again for hurting you and to everyone who I hurt them. I felt so shameful and regretful. And because the this damage I've done to you and to everybody... I don't know what to do and I am not sure if you're going to forgive me for what I done.

I know that simple apology won't work and it absolutely won't ever forgive me like this so with that...I am going to accept this punishment and consequence from you after I caused this serious damage from long ago. I will became a better person and to forgive myself for now on.

I hope you will take time to forgive me.

III. What happened to you now that you're became a Sad and Fragile Girl?

Aside of remembering the past about my Tumblr days from year 2018 and 2020, there are so many things happening that brought me such trauma, including one memory that took a toll of my life that I named myself as a Scarlet Dream/Scarlet Memory:

And that's no other than...Ravi leaving VIXX due to his scandal over Military Service Evasion/Corruption Issue last April 11, 2023. (In which that Ravi of VIXX is one of my ultimate Kpop biases.)

After my ultimate VIXX bias Ravi left the group, it named as a Scarlet Memory that it brought me a Scarlet Dream that it has 10 times than typical nightmares.

And after Ravi's Departure from VIXX, my happiness has been taken away from me. Especially when things that are happening really bad in year 2023 in Kpop like bad things happening going on at SM Entertainment when they thought that they will going to have a brighter future this year but things are going way too wrong, Astro's Moonbin passed away, Lucas left NCT after his hiatus (Which also means, no more SuperM forever.), VIXX celebrating their 11th Anniversary without Hongbin and Ravi and Ravi's Weverse turned into an archive after it last a year and 3 months.

And in the end...I've lost motivation and interest in listening to newest and my favorite Kpop music and updates anymore. And instead, I am currently listening to music from Ukraine/Ukrainian music because it's really comforting that it brought me more interest than Kpop music and looking forward for exciting Kpop news.

I even lost interest of playing my favorite games anymore after they decided to end the service of Love Live! School Idol Festival All Stars last the end of April. (I wanted to play Love Live! SIF 2 ~MIRACLE LIVE~ but sadly I'd prefer to play on my tablet but the bad news is my tablet has few GB like 32 GB (My current tablet is Samsung Galaxy Tab A7 Lite and I found out that it's NOT perfect for download huge amount of games...))

2023 brought me such traumatic downfalls and traumas for me that I became a Sad and Fragile Girl. I don't know when I will be back to my old self anymore. It's like...my bright aura of my soul is breaking apart and it will fade away any moment now.

I am also still struggling from my depression and anxiety and I am trying to recover myself. It feels like I am walking such a bumpy road that it will took forever to recover this unbearable pain.

Anyways, that's all I have to say in my first post. I am going on a hiatus starting today to July 5, 2023 and I will return this July 6, 2023.

Thank you so much and have a wonderful day.

~Queennie 🥀

[mintoyume]

i got jongup’s album today!!! i love the whole photobook and i wish i had a cd player so i could just pop the cd in and listen to it forever

[hoe-for-yukhei]

Clean Freak Idol BF taeyong — Soloist [fem] reader

Everybody knows the tea between 10th floor and 5th floor.

Then there's Taeyong.

"We are here because we want to talk about the most awaited collaboration of the most iconic ship in the kpop industry, before we talk about your new mini album 'NO HISTORY' let me ask you guys a question first. The whole world knew you two used to date, isn't it awkward to work with each other?"

Man, what is this girl saying?

Taeyong and I stared at each other and laughed.

"Hahahahaha what are you guys laughing about? hahahaha"

The audacity to ask us.

Before inviting guests into your show, please dig some information about them.

"No hahaha sorry it's just so funny. Such a ridiculous question."

Taeyong stopped you for saying anything blunt, you have this image that you're straightforward and blunt, and to others they see it as rude.

You're not doing it for clout or to be savage wannabe, that's just who you are.

"No, we didn't broke up, we just lived apart. We moved out of our dorms and shared an apartment. But we didn't take it well so we moved back in."

Really taeyong? We didn't BROKE UP? interesting..

"Why? What didn't work out for the two of you?"

Oh let me tell you the story.

"Taeyong what are you doing? Stop covering your face! smile!"

"Eh-Andwae! I just woke up!"

What is he talking about?

Bare faced Taeyong is art.

Everyone who gets to see him fresh out of bed is so blessed, this would add 10,000,000+ on your lifespan.

"Oppa you stopped eating, Isn't the dish good?"

"Yes it's good! You should try that side dish too! I was just thinking about something."

Here we go again.

Taeyong is zoning out lately, I thought he's worrying about the NCT comeback, yearbook and all but turns out he isn't.

"What is it? Tell me hmm?"

"I was thinking, since we're already dating for 5 years why won't we live together already? I mean we're already in the right age and all."

Hmm I haven't thought about that.

"Why? Aren't you happy here with the members? And besides you have the whole room to yourself it's just like having your own house. Why need one?"

"Of course I'm happy. We grew up together and I treat them as biological brothers.. it's not about them. I want to start a life with you.. but if you don't want to then fine with me.."

"What do you mean I don't want to? I would love to move in with you. But heads up honey I'm a living mess. It will drive you nuts clean freak."

Everyone knows he's a clean freak. Aesthetic, spotless, and organized. He can't stand dirt. He's the type of guy who always bathe unlike jungwoo, the guy who would always wear gloves when handling food and dishes unlike jaehyun and yuta who uhh never you know what,he has sheets on his bed (and it's white as fuck no creases and lints jaehyun has been slapped hard),the guy who gets cranky when his clothes are not handled right so he ends up doing laundry everyday, he's also the guy who praises febreeze. Febreeze is his life,addiction,religion and many more.

Yes he loves febreeze more than me.

2 years went by like a bliss. Everything's good.

Actually too good.

We spent happy days together loving each other more as time passes by until he can't take it all anymore.

He knelt to the ground and pulled a ring and said 

"Marry me y/n."

"T-taeyong.."

"I know I know.. but please hear me out. y/n we spent 7 years together full of love,laughs,and cries. I know you're finally going to have your debut next week and can't be seen in a relationship for like 2 years, but I can't take it anymore I don't want to lose you..this industry is fucked up y/n.Just please promise me you'll hold on to me.. to us.."

"Of course. You're my rod in this dark world without you I'll be lost. I'll forever hold on you. But you sure this isn't an engagement ring?"

"*sighs; you know it's not. I really want to but I already know the answer after I proposed for you like 3 times already. You're not yet ready.. but I'll wait."

"I'm sorry taeyong–"

"No don't say sorry I understand"

You were both in the right age but still young to marry.. and both of your careers are not helping.

NCT PROJECT again. You're happy for Taeyong, he really likes it whenever the whole 23 of them perform together.

But also pitied him.

"What is wrong with you two?! I expected better than this. You better composed some good ones or I'll give back the job to  composers."

"No sir, I really want to participate again in composing I can give you a better one—"

"Then do it. I want it done by next week. I only let you boys play composer and lyricist again because the crowd wants to. You get me Johnny? Taeyong?"

It's the 6th time this week. You always pass by the room because it's in the same way of the recording studio. He was getting yelled at again.

And again.

And again. 

Taeyong's been stressed for the whole 2months. Johnny and he were told they could participate in producing the album.

At last they can express themselves.

Johnny really wants to write songs but never given the opportunity to. So Johnny and he are working hard. Knowing SM they're controlling as ever this means it's a one and only lifetime opportunity. 

His dog died. His best friend and buddy.

The warm condolences of his fans comforted him. He's thankful to have them.

Y/n's first ever single is coming out. You have been pretty busy too. Recordings, photoshoots,MV filming etc. And SM and fans are breathing down your neck everytime you move.

Some anti spread fake rumors about you. Usually you'll ignore it but right now is different. Being new to this industry brought pressure to you and you don't know what to do but just cry..

You saw a cat. You always love cats, they calm you down. It gives comfort to you. You decided to bring it home to your shared space with taeyong.

You did him a favor and put a little spice in his composition then while drinking your hot chocolate you were called by your mother leaving the cat,the chocolate and the house you hurried to the hospital.

Stressed ate taeyong. He's frustrated at the moment he wants to shout and cry his heart out.

The 8th song they made just got rejected. again.

It's the last draw and they can't participate in writing on the album anymore. Mark, xiaojun and taeil got injured while practicing,the new choreographer is a dick. A stubborn stylist doesn't follow anyone's instruction causing jaehyun to be called out because of his hair and the management wants them to do nothing. Some anti is making fun of his dog's death and a sasaeng is following him right now.

The house is where he rests,it's his favorite place .

But now it isn't.

The house is a fucking mess.

Dishes on sink

Furs on sofas and floor

Chocolate drink spilled on the carpeted floor of his work space.

The computer is on

Somebody touched his music

The air smelled like a stray dog or cat

Shits on his pile of clothes and a cat is napping on the end of the bed.

Lee. Taeyong. Mad.

He's angry asf.

"Oh hey taeyong you are home?? How was your da-"

"What is that?"

"A cat?"

"and that?"

"My drink.."

"That?"

"Dishe–okay what is your point?"

"Nothing.  Just you being a pig."

"Wh-what?.."

"You're disgusting. Be ashamed of yourself y/n can't believe a woman doesn't know how to take care of a house."

"What's wrong with you?! That's so sexist!"

"What's wrong with me?! Your stupid new cat shitted on my clothes! The house is shit! Everything's shit! Even you! You messed up my song!"

"Taeyong calm down there was an emergency and about your song i-"

"shut up y/n! I'm tired! The last thing I want to see is a dumpsite! I have to keep up shits at work and I have to keep up with your everyday shits too?! I'm so sick! It looks like the house isn't the only one that needs cleaning. My life too.. I can't believe I put up with a garab6e like you. You should've been taken out a long time ago—"

"The only shit here is you."

You took your new cat and went.

Your grandmother died. That's the emergency.

It's heartbreaking and with taeyong earlier the last hanging piece of your heart shattered completely.

You went back to your own place, you ask hae-un a friend of yours who's a model under the same entertainment to get all your stuff in your house. 

She came back with seong-hyun his boyfriend carrying boxes and bags.

"Y/n.. take a break..I'm here for you."

"He wants to talk to you y/n. he said he was—"

"SEONG-HYUN!STOP!"

"okay.. I understand. Everything will be fine y/n hae-un and I will never leave you. We'll get through this together just like the old days.."

"Thank-you.."

Hae-un take care of your things at work. You decided to wake up from the slump and change labels,made depression your motivation, you skyrocketed. Soon after many articles about you were made.

“솔로이스트 Y/N L/N은 왜 SM 엔터테인먼트를 떠났을까?”

(Why did Soloist Y/N L/N leave SM entertainment?)

"할머니의 갑작스러운 죽음으로 솔로이스트 Y/N이 망했다. '나는 망연자실했다. 어떻��� 해야 할지..' "

(Soloist Y/N went hiatus due to Grandmother's sudden death

"I was devastated. I don't know to do..")

"솔로 퀸 Y/N L/N 7년 동안 NCT 이태용과 데이트 했었다고?!"

(SOLO QUEEN Y/N L/N USED TO DATE NCT LEE TAEYONG FOR 7 YEARS?!)

"엘, 채널, 헤르메스 뉴 앰배서더, 모델 Y/N L/N. 그녀가 어떻게 도망가는지 지켜봐."

(ELLE, Channel, Hermes New ambassador and model Y/N L/N. Watch how she rules the runway)

P-NATION의 솔로퀸 Y/N L/N이 NCT 김도영, 루카스 웡과 함께 메디컬 로맨스 드라마 '더 터치 오브 유어'로 데뷔한다.

(P-NATION's Solo Queen Y/N L/N, will debut as an Actress in a Medical romance Kdrama "The touch of you" with NCT Kim Doyoung and Lucas Wong)

You have so many projects going on. Actually you were not ready for this. At SM you’re only an underrated singer who mostly writes others songs instead of doing yours. What can you do? It’s the higher ups orders.

Haeun recommended PNATION this is where you really felt like you’re an artist and family rather. Of Course you love your sunbaes and colleagues. It's just that SM restricts everyone and they try to shape them into KPOP robots that everyone will buy. 

You love all of your projects well..except one.

"P-NATION의 솔로퀸 Y/N L/N이 전 남자친구 NCT 이태용과 함께 새 미니 앨범 'NO History'를 발매한다!"

(P-NATION's Solo Queen Y/N L/N will release her new album "NO HISTORY" with ex-boyfriend NCT Lee Taeyong!)

Oh great…

You haven't 

Communicated with Taeyong since you left the house.

You actually avoided him.

Taeyong would straight up walk to you when on stage such as Music Bank, Inkigayo, Mama etc. But you always find a way to avoid the guy.

The fans ship you guys after finding out your 7year relationship with him. You were chill with it but you always reminded your fans that you're not together anymore theyy should snap back to reality.

Y/N doesn't like the reality now.

His ex boyfriend is in front of him doing arrangements eating Sweet Potato cubes from Starbucks and guess what.

He's formal and silent asf.

Like you guys didn't date and almost got married.

There were 5 songs in the Mini Album

Ethereal

Seoulite

Letters on the floor

Sunset 

DOUCHEBAG

The title track is Ethereal. You have to dance to that sexy love hoe song. Produced and composed by yours truly.

You just sat on your swivel chair discussing with the other producer while Taeyong wrinkles his forehead seeing the album content.

Track 6. "DOUCHEBAG"

Who The fuck would name their song douchebag?

Taeyong is confused but at the same time a little hope and warm blooms at his heart. Thinking DOUCHEBAG is all about him. Little did he know it's a diss track about MNET.

Don't worry taeyong douchebag may not be about you but most of the songs are.

He's keeping his distance letting you adjust to him..but that doesn't look like it to Y/N.

The audacity of this guy to ignore me. Bitch.

It's noon and you haven't eaten breakfast yet. Taeyong comes to your side to invite you to lunch until he is cut off by a high pitch squeal of yours.

" y/n ssi—"

"DOIEEEEEEEEEEEEE~"

"Hahahahahah calm down, you miss me that much?"

"YEAH!"

It's Doyoung.

He knows you have a few modeling projects with doyoung and an ongoing drama but he didn't know you two were this close.

You smooch your face on doyoung's face and smile brightly at him.

Ah he hates it.

"Hahahahahah enough y/n I'm here for hyung. Hyung do you want to go grab lunch?"

"Ani. Doyoung-ah i’m not hungry. Comeback next time."

"I'll come with you oppa."

“YAH!”

Taeyong stood up.

Oppa was the last straw for him. You don’t call anyone oppa.

Let alone smooch your face to someone’s chest.

You’re that brat girl who only warms up at him. 

Only him.

Doyoung and Y/N were surprised by Taeyong’s sudden actions.

Why is he angry? Did you guys do something wrong?

“Taeyong-ssi, gwaenchana? Is there something wrong?”

Taeyong suddenly realized what he did. So foolish of him. Now he looks like an ex-boyfriend who’s jealous of his ex’s friend.

He isn’t like that. He just wants closure with you.

We’ll look into that later.

“‘Y-YAH! What are you guys doing there? I thought we were going to eat?’ that’s what i’m trying to say.”

“Ahhhh~”

You and Doyoung just nodded, you thought you guys did something wrong to upset him hahaha.

Taeyong is literally speaking in small fonts as he says his excuse. As stupid as it sounds. You two believed him. Thank god phew.

You survived your 1 month with Taeyong. And for guys who dated for 7 years you two were awkward as fuck. It’s like the first time all over again. Calling each other with Honorifics and bowing whenever you two meet at the hallways, Just keeping it civil. But you gotta admit it to yourself, you start to warm up again to Taeyong these past few weeks. Dyed his hair black, and has that boyfriend material aura again.

YOU ARE A HUGE SIMP Y/N L/N.

Taeyong is planning something to win you back . He just woke up and realized ‘What if I show her again why she fell for me in the first place?’

He’s doing simple things to get close to you again. Your heart beats fast whenever he comes close.

“Jduigywfwygf Lee Taeyong i swear to god you-”

“I am what?

“You Scared me! Stop doing that! Why are you even here? I won’t record today. I'm going to learn the choreo.”

“Me too.”

“What?”

“What?”

Our Choreographer came and hell he was teaching us some sexy ass moves. I didn’t even know Taeyong was supposed to dance with me too. I suddenly have  flashbacks to Hyuna unnie and E’dawn sunbae’s Cage Dance Performance.

“One, Two, Step, Three, Step, Four”

“Y/N what are you doing? You missed the step.”

“I did?”

“Yes, It’s the 5th time already. Taeyong teach her. I’m going to take a break”

Y/N is very tense. He felt it. Especially whenever you two grind and to that one part where you kneel in front of him.

“You’re stiff and tense right now. How about you take a break?”

“Omg! Finally!”

“You left your body while we're dancing. Something wrong?”

“Nah I just feel Awkward and all. Knowing our history and everything.”

“Why would you?”

“It’s just you know uhmm.. I don’t know how to explain but you get what I mean.”

“Then Let’s be friends again! So it wouldn’t be awkward.”

He’s just waiting for you to open the topic. That’s all it takes to get Taeyong creep back to your heart. You don’t know if befriending your ex is good or what but it’s nice to have him back. It’s like normal. The teasings, hugs, and laughter are back. It’s like when you two were still together minus the label of course.

Since you two were close again why not invite him to your shoot? Besides Doyoung and Winwin are there.

Taeyong internally passed out when you invited him. He’s so happy for you. The dream of you being an actor never left his mind. Now he gets to see it with front-viewed seats, until that scene comes up.

Myeorin’s starts to tear up. He run after Haju and  hugged him behind. “H-haju you don’t have to..” 

The man just kept a blank face but you can see he’s having a hard time letting go.

“Go. I want you to be happy. You love him Myeorin”

“H-haju no! I love you!”

“You know you don’t. You're just stuck in our past memories.”

Haju breaks free from Myeorin’s hug, he cups her face and their foreheads touch each other while sobbing.

“I still want to live in that past. With you haju.”

He stared into Myeorin’s eyes and landed a soft peck at her temple.

“‘The beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday.’ The person who taught me doesn't apply it to herself. Pabo. Go, you have  no time left i heard he’s leaving”

Myeorin realizes Haju’s words and runs to chase the one  that she truly loves. “Do Hyejeong you bitch you didn’t tell me you’re leaving”

The Set changes and moves to a different venue.

Myeorin stands outside of Hyejeong’s penthouse sobbing. He erratically rang the bell 30th time already and no one’s answering. 

A Janitor saw Myeorin and confronted her.

“Miss Myeorin! What are you doing there?”

“Ahjussi *sniffs* have you seen Hyejong?”

“Ah! sir Hyejong?  He just left a while ago carrying his personal belongings. Why?”

Myeorin just stared at Mr.Kang and suddenly wailed.

“Ah-Uh M-miss did I do something wrong?”

Myeorin just missed Hyejeong. Knowing him  he wouldn’t come back ever again.

“What are you crying at you brat? You’re causing a scene in my property.”

“Hye-Hyejong!” Upon hearing that cold voice she stood up and faced Hyejeong with swollen, teary eyes, and a dripping nose.

“Sir Hyejong I promised I didn’t make her cry! She just suddenly weeps when I said-”

“It’s okay Mr. Kang I know. No need to clean here anymore. you can rest now. And you brat go inside.”

The two of them went inside. Hyejeong comfortably sat on his aesthetically white L-shaped sofa in front of his Floor to ceiling big windows. While Myeorin stands there dumbfounded.

“I-I thought you’re leaving…”

“Well yeah I am until Professor Shin said I have to cover his surgery tomorrow because his wife is in labor.”

“So you’re not leaving anymore?”

“I still am.”

Confused about Hyejeongs statement, creases were formed at her temples. She extended both of her hands trying to block the huge door. The lad just lowkey snickered at her actions.

“What do you mean?! No! nuh uh you won’t leave this place over my dead body.”

“”Why Won’t I leave?”

“Because I love you.”

Hyejong suddenly stopped sipping his drink and just stared at her with those big bunny-like eyes.

“What?”

“Do Hyejong Saranghae.”

He rose from the chair and met her body.

“You lose.”

“I don't careabout the bet anymoret. I love you.”

Hyejeong's mind left the earth. His lips unconsciously guided him to  Myeorin’s plump, soft, pinkish lips. It tasted like pure heaven.

“CUT!”

Taeyong got startled at the director’s cue. No thoughts, mind empty, just watching his love of his life kissing his best friend. He knew it’s part of their work and he’s proud of the both of them  but a part of him just aches knowing you’re single and doyoung single, you might fall for his kisses that used to be his.

“Y/N! Focus!”

“You okay?”

“Yeah just out of character.”

Y/N didn’t know the kissing scene and suggestive scenes are the ones that they'll be filming today. It’s supposed to be Next week! Now she felt odd knowing Taeyong’s here. She turned to Taeyong’s space, seeing him sending her a death glare while eating sweet potato chews.

“KISSING SCENE TAKE 2”

“KISSING SCENE TAKE 3”

“TAKE 6”

“TAKE 12”

The number of takes irked taeyong. Was he invited here just to suffer? Finally you guys nailed the scene. He thought it’s over yet there’s more to come.

Myeorin and Hyejeong were intoxicated with each other. A peck on the lips results in a very deep passionate one. Hyejong carried her in his arms, not letting go of her tasty lips together and they traveled towards the bedroom.

Taeyong stormed off the set. Right in front of my Sweet potato chews he said.

“Taeyong! Where are you going?”

“Don’t follow me. I’ll go home now.”

“What? why? I brought you here. I thought we were going to have ice cream after this?

“EAT ICE CREAM WITH ‘HYEJONG’ INSTEAD hmp.”

He mimicked her voice. Taeyong tried to look angry. But in Y/N’s eyes he’s a baby pouting.

“H-Hyejong? Who is that?”

“Duh? Doyoung?”

“Why would i eat ice cream with him?”

“Yeah right. Why would you guys eat ice cream if you two can just suck each other’s faces off.”

“OMG HAHAHAHAHA ARE YOU JEALOUS?”

“No! Why would I?”

“Hmm..”

“Fine I am! You said today’s going to be fun. Yeah fun for you you kissed doyoung 17 times.”

You grinned like a mad man  at his accusation even though you’re guilty of it. It’s just so cute you can’t help but to..

 “Why would you do that?! You kissed another guy then you kiss me? Don’t give me false hope Y/N.”

“Okay.. I won’t kiss you anymore. You said it yourself.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just that it’s giving me false hope..”

“About what?”

“About you. About us being together again. So don’t kiss me i you don’t mean i-”

Yeah you kissed your ex. He needs to shut up.

“Do you still love me?

“Of course. I have always been Taeyong.”

Cut the chase and hide and seek. You  won’t deny your feelings anymore. The feeling of missing him, his warmth, and love. You won’t deny it all again.

You two left the Area hand in hand, talking while having a little stroll.

“Hey I have a question?”

“What is it?

“Did you change your perfume?”

“Yeah. It’s Yves Saint Laurent’s  Black Opium”

“I like the old one better.”

“What smell do you love the most? Me or Febreeze? ”

“Definitely Febreeze.”

The sound of your laughs and voices faints as you two went back to the set

"If you were to pick what is your favorite song in this album? And What part of it makes you like it?"

The Interviewer  asks.

You picked up your mic and said

 “Ethereal. I like the pre chorus part the

 i can't wait to see him next

and witness his ethereal glow

he is my darling

and nothing or no one

could ever come between

bonded for life

he is my king. 

It just reminded me of someone. Someone I missed..” The crowd goes wild, they're squealing and most of them are screaming Lee Taeyong!

Taeyong goes shy.. He can’t believe you wrote him that song when he asked you who’s your inspiration you just said ‘my grandma why?’ now he knows.

He Throws you a ‘you’re hiding it from me’ look while you just replied a simple wink.

“Okay, Let’s get back to the unanswered question.. What didn't work out for the two of you?”

You two stared at each other's eyes knowing the answer.

Once again you grabbed your mic and said

“Let’s just say he’s a major clean freak.”

[userdokja]

Woozi/Jihoon x Reader soulmate au | Music

There’s a small mark on your hand which symbolizes what would happen when you first make contact with your soulmate, sometimes the marks aren’t clear but the moment your skin makes contact with theirs everything will make sense.

Word count: 1108

Warnings: None?

S.coups | Jeonghan | Joshua |  Jun | Hoshi | Wonwoo | Woozi | DK | Mingyu | The8 | Seungkwan | Vernon | Dino | Soulmate AU masterlist

A/N: It’s my first time writing for seventeen so they may be ooc, I know about the language barrier but this is a fanfiction, everything is possible lol

You've always had songs stuck in your head, like literally.

Your head's like a radio playing songs you don't know, and the thing was, they were all in a different language. But the mark on your wrist says that it will stop once you meet your soulmate, which you wish was soon.

"Y/n, please just come with me to this concert." Your sister had been nagging you to go with her since you woke up. "Mom won't let me go if I'm alone."

"I don't even know them!" You groaned.

"Your soulmate listens to them, right?" The songs stuck in your head were the songs of the Kpop group your sister loved, which made her more excited because she thought one of them was your soulmate. "...or what if one of them is your soulmate?"

"That's stupid."

"So, are you going with me or not?" She raised her eyebrows at you, you looked at her for a few seconds before finally giving in.

"Fine, I better get something good from this." You rolled your eyes as you agreed, there was a small part of you wishing that you'll meet your soulmate there, and finally shut the songs up in your head.

A few days later, you and your sister were prepared for the event, the tickets were prepared and your dad was going to drive you there.

"I can't believe we're going to see them!" Your sister squealed in excitement beside you, ut you were too mesmerized by the song playing in your head to notice. "Hello? are you listening?"

"Uhm, sorry it's just.. the song." You explained before finally regaining your focus.

Soon you were surrounded by thousands of people singing along to their song as the group performed on the stage, in the middle of the show you realized that the song playing matched with the sound in your head.

"They're here." You whispered to your sister. "My soulmate's here."

----

After bidding the fans goodbye Woozi was approached by Seungcheol with the other members who noticed his change of behavior in the concert.

"I felt them there." He looked down to hide his disappointment.

"You should've told us sooner. We could've done something about it." Jihoon groaned in annoyance and disappointment, he ran his fingers through his hair and just tried to forget about it. "We'll have time to go around tomorrow, maybe you'll pass by them on the way."

----

The next day you were walking around with your sister who needed to buy something for a school project. You nodded your head to the beat of the song inside your head while looking, the song was very relaxing and this time in English.  

"Sometimes I feel like I'm your... second mom or something." You told her as you looked through the shelves to look for what she needed. "You're old enough to go out by yourself."

"I know, but mom let you go out by yourself when you were eighteen, you still have three more years before- oh my god." Her face paled as she turned around to look at you. "If I told you Seventeen's here would you believe me?"

"You're hallucinating." You said. "I already have what you need, come on." You turned around to be faced by a familiar-looking guy on your way.  "uh.."

"Oh lord." Your sister cried behind you before walking up in front of you. "Can we please take a picture with you?"

That's when it clicked, it was the Woozi guy from your sister's albums. The cute dude with the amazing voice and dance moves, you watched as they talked, a wave of nervousness suddenly crashed to you your left hand started to massage your wrist where your mark was.

Woozi felt his wrist tickle a bit but chose to ignore it and paid attention to the young fan in front of him.

"Y/n, can you please take a picture of us?" Your sister called out to you, you nodded your head almost immediately and pulled out your phone from your pocket, but before you could snap a picture of them, Woozi asked you to join them.

You hesitated for a bit before switching it to the front camera and joining them on the picture, you felt his hand on your arm as you snapped the picture, you put the phone down after a couple of pictures and your writs started to burn as he put away his hand.

"Thank you again." Your sister told him, but as that happened you noticed so many changes, your wrist was burning, your head was quiet and oh god this Woozi guy might just be your soulmate.

"B-before you go.. can I see your wrist?" He said directly at you. "Please?"

Your breath was caught in your throat, giving him only a nod in response. You gave him your hand for him to check, your hand was trembling as he checked, he pulled up his sleeve to show his own and they matched.

"Must be nice to have your mind cleared?" He said it took a while to come up with a response because the person in front of you is straight-up mesmerizing.

"Your songs were actually... pretty good." You managed to choke out. "Especially the one you were listening to now? It's good."

"The songs you like a great as well, I actually have a whole playlist for it." You blushed at his words, "...Do you want to grab a drink..?"

"Sure.." You agreed with a smile, but three people walked up to the both of you.

"We've been looking for you everywhere." The tallest one among them said. You recognized hi as Mingyu, your sister's bias.

"I think I'm going to pass out." Your sister quietly said beside you.

---

Woozi suggested by: @artistic-rendition

Hope you like it! feedbacks are always appreciated. 

[fullyellowsun]

Subtle | 7

Choreography:

I do not own the picture, credit to the owner. AHHHH, both Baekhyun's will kill me!!!!! The duality of Byun Baekhyun...

This is my first series so please cut me some slack but also I welcome constructive criticisms! This is in Korean so for those of you who can read Korean and English, go ahead! I will post a full English version link to the Wattpad story in the masterlist!

Pairing: baekhyun x reader

Genre: kpop group collaboration!AU

Word Count: 1653 words

Description: After a long day of dancing, the others start to question the title of Baekhyun and Dayeon's relationship...

Disclaimer: I have no idea how any of this works. I’m just going off of the little info I DO know so please bear with me as I try to fill the chapters with what I think (or what I just make up) on how to make an album and the other kpop things.

Masterlist

"Please be with me~~~ this Christ-mas."

"1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and...  oh, 다연아 잘하네!" Choreographer hyung says. He was right. Although Dayeon wasn't the main dancer, she still danced like a queen. (A/N Periodt😂) Her body moved gracefully and her vibe matched perfectly with the dance moves with a sexy and cute vibe.

"감사함니다 선배님." She says as she continues to move with grace. She was always so clumsy and innocent in real life but the stage really brought her into a different life. She didn't even realize that everyone stopped to watch her until she finished and everyone clapped for her.

"How come nobody claps like that for me when I dance?" Yoona asks.

"It's because she's actually good! She can sing, she can dance, what can she not do?" Kai said. He obviously still likes Dayeon but I feel kind of bad for Yoona since everyone can tell she likes Kai. She always wants his attention but he ignores her and has both eyes on Dayeon.

"I can't rap..." Dayeon says out of breath.

"Come on 다연아, we all know you can. I mean when Sunny was sick in that performance and you had to do her rap, everyone, including 리수만 선생님, said you were amazing." Suah says.

"맞아... you could be the main rapper if you really put your mind to it." Sunny says.

"See? What can she not do?" Kai says still clapping for her. I felt kind of mad when he clapped for her and she blushed. Does Dayeon like Kai? 아니야... 설마... no it's fine if she likes him... but it's not. I think I might like Dayeon. I mentally slap myself. 정신차려! We are in a fake 'marriage' thing with a contract, you got this far, you can't make it awkward now. Just push it down. Even if I wanted to date her, she wouldn't possibly like me back. Her perfection is better for someone perfect or someone who actually needs the love.

"현아? What are you thinking about?" I get waken up by Dayeon's nickname for me.

"Huh? What?" I say.

"What were you thinking so deeply about? We're about to practice one more time." I get up and get in my position. The dance was made so that we dance in our 'couples' but also in our own groups. Kai, Sehun, and Yoona did well. After practicing for a while, I want to go home but I can't take off my pants so just lay on the floor in the way of everyone. Dayeon joins me. "I'm tireddd..." she groans.

"나도!" I say loudly.

"What were you thinking about so deeply before?" She says.

"Huh? Oh... um." I can't tell her. It would be awkward, she won't even reciprocate the feelings. So I made something up.

"Umm... new... laundry detergent! (A/N I'm watching True Beauty and so if you know the reference, yay! If not, go watch it, it's good.)"

"Huh? Why do you need to think so deeply about laundry detergent?" She says slightly tilting her head. She does that when she's confused and it's genuinely the cutest thing ever.

"Uhh well... my nose is sensitive so I was wondering which scent I should get."

"Just choose your favorite one. Why is it so hard? Wait, but our dorm doesn't even have a washing machine." Oops. I forgot. The managers forgot to get a dorm with washing machines so we dry clean everything or go to a laundromat.

"Oh, did I say laundry detergent? I meant cologne." I scratch the back of my head and laugh nervously.

"Oh, makes sense." She says and doesn't pay attention to me anymore. "CAN WE GO HOME PLEASSSEEEE." She yells loudly still on the floor.

"YESSSSS.... PLLLLEEEAAASSSEEEEEEEE." The members pay no attention to our pleas and continue to practice.

"You know, people are not always as perfect as you. We actually need to practice." Suah says.

"We do too but isn't this a bit much? I mean it's already 12! Let's go home and sleeeeppppp..." She says and rolls ariund in exasperation. Because the others wouldn't listen to us, I decided, they can do what the want but I'm sleeping.

"다연아, 나랑 집에 같이 갈래?" I turn to Dayeon and ask.

"Yes please. Everyone, 우리는 먼저 갈게." Dayeon stands up and announces.

"You two in the dorm by yourselves? Just because we aren't there doesn't mean you could do whatever you want, keep it PG please, I do NOT want to walk into something gross." Sehun says.

"야! Worry about yourself! Bye!" We leave and jam out to music in the car on our way to the dorm. We get home and I immediately shower. Dayeon started making dinner and because she was like the only one who cooks, she knew where everything was and that kitchen was like a kitchen in her own house. I come out of the shower and Dayeon was still cooking. "Shouldn't you shower?"

"Oh yeah, Hyun-ah, can you take over?" She hands me the apron she was wearing and a spatula. She was frying kimchi and tofu. "I'm gonna shower so just make sure it doesn't burn."

"Okay, I got it, go shower."

"Thanks." She goes inside and I hear the water running. I started thinking about the nickname Dayeon gave me... Hyun-ah. It sounds like a girl's name but I don't care... it's a special name that no one else has- *beep beep* *beep beep* is that the fire alarm? "Hyun-ah... is that the fire alarm?" I hear Dayeon shout from the shower. I had one job... and I failed. ONE JOB! I frantically open the windows and turn off the heat. Dayeon rushes out the room with her clothes inside out and backwards and her hair dripping wet. "Ahh, you burned it. Didn't I tell you not to do that? Are you still thinking about your cologne? If it's that hard, let's just get one now." She throws away the tofu from the pan, washes it quickly and grabs her keys to go to the mall.

"Wait, isn't it closed? And maybe change and dry your hair at least?"

"Oh... yeah, online shopping it is." She grabs her laptop and gives it to me. "Choose something, look for something you like. I'm gonna REmake the food you burned."

"Sorry... I got distracted."

"With what?!" Umm... I can't say her nickname for me... what do I say?

"Uhhh, my cologne scent?" She shakes her head and chuckles.

"You are so weird." She puts on her apron and starts frying again. She finishes and leaves the food on the table to join me. "Did you find one yet? What? Why are you still on the Google page? Were you not looking at them?"

"It's uhh... it's too hard to choose scents from a screen."

"At least look!" She leans over me to look for a website. She just searched in "cologne scents that men like". I laugh. She looked at articles and asked me about each scent on the list.

"Okay, I'll buy it myself, you don't need to choose one for me!" She turns to me. Her face was really close to me face.

"I said PG!" Sehun says. She turns around.

"PG? Why is this not PG? I was helping him choose a cologne scent."

"Were you guys not like, making out?"

"No, what makes you think that?"

"I don't know, it just looked like it."

"Okay? I make fried kimchi and tofu. It's on the dining room table so if you're hungry, you can eat it."

"Oh, yay, thanks 언니!" Suah runs over to the table. Dayeon turns to me.

"If you don't want my help, sure, do it yourself but later." She walks away to the table to join the others. What just happened?! I join them too. I sit next to Chanyeol.

"Are you sure you guys aren't a thing or something?" He whispers to me.

"No! We're just close."

"This fast? You have known each other for like 2 weeks and you're already this close?"

"Isn't it the same with you and Sunny?"

"Yeah but we're not THAT close."

"What do you mean?"

"You guys watched a movie on your own, you go home together by yourselves, you have matching clothes and you hug each other in your sleep." Chanyeol lists off.

"Well that's because I didn't want to watch horror and we were tired so we went home. Our matching clothes is because it's cute or by accident and you already know that I hug my pillow in my sleep, it's just convenient that she's there in the pillow's place." I said almost screaming. I realized that I was screaming and everyone was staring at me. Chanyeol laughs at me.

"What are you talking about?" Suho asks.

"Uhhh... nothin-" I start.

"Why he's so close to Dayeon." Chanyeol says trying not to laugh. I give him a death glare.

"Wait I'm confused, how close are we?" Dayeon asks.

"Too close to be just friends." Chanyeol says.

"Why are we too close to be friends?"

"Well, you watched your own movie instead of watching with us." Sehun chimes in.

"You went home by yourselves together." Chen says.

"We were tired okay?!" Baekhyun says.

"You hug each other in your sleep!" Sehun says. Dayeon puts her fingers to her lips and mouths 'that was a secret'.

"You do?!" Xiumin asks.

"Maybe..." Dayeon says sheepishly.

"What is happening? Do we have another couple?" Suho asks.

"No! It's just because we're close. Is that not allowed?" Dayeon asks.

"Well no, it's not NOT allowed but you know, you guys are a little too close to the point where people would assume those actions as things couples would do." Suah says.

Masterlist

[kpopseoulamor]

Hyuna and E’Dawn: My Thoughts

So just recently, and by just recently I mean literally a day or two ago, Cube Entertainments E’Dawn and Hyuna were rumored, rumor denied by their company, and then confirmed to be in a relationship.

To say that there was some blowing up of the KPOP side of the internet is an understament.

So here are my thoughts and opinions on this whole ‘scandal’.

Idols are not your property, they should be able to date without consequences.

I believe that is actually quite a popular opinion in the KPOP fandom. Idols should be able to freely date whom they want as long as the relationship is not something that is publicly toxic to that person. AKA as long as our favorite idols aren’t being harmed in the relationship it should be acceptable for them to fall in love and date.

Unfortunately, there are still people who see their idols as - how should I say? -objects rather than people. So they tend to be in favor of their idols not dating anyone because of delusion. Delusion that one day they will meet and fall in love or the delusion that these idols owe them their life because of the amount of support they give them.

If you actually believe that an idol or anyone famous owes you for the support you have given them, then I think you should really step back into reality. No one owes you anything. And if you think that PENTAGON’s E’Dawn was going to fall in love with you, you should probably get your head out of the clouds. That’s not gonna happen.

With that being said, Hyuna, Triple H, and PENTAGON should not have to face consequences because of this. The fact that fans are acting the way they are is childish.

Hyuna was selfish in confirming their relationship

I feel like some will give me backlash about this. Mostly Hyuna fans who believe she hasn’t done anything wrong and other KPOP fans who don’t think her actions will impact Triple H and PENTAGON, but you have to take in the numbers and think about them.

The fans who ARE delusional about their idols are the ones who are buying up all the merch, streaming videos like crazy, voting for them like crazy, etc. (I am not calling all fans who do this crazy, but I mean, I don’t know. I find it crazy how some people can purchase SO MUCH merch and SO MANY versions of different albums, and find ways to vote like 100 times a day and stream the video from like 20 different IP addresses at the same time. It’s dedication that borderlines on crazy. I’m sorry. It’s true. Like I am 23 years old, work 8:30am to 5:30pm, and barely have enough money to pay my student loans and other bills, where the hell are y’all getting all this free time and money?)

It’s why most idol companies tend to ignore the crazy fans, because those are the fans who are investing the most money into those groups, those are the fans who may be investing in stock for the company. Those crazy fans are the ones who are allowing the group to thrive (not in all cases, but in most yes). Whether you want to believe it or not.

They are not selfish because they wanted a relationship, they are selfish because their relationship is going to negatively impact the careers of the people they work with.

It shouldn’t, but it will.

Hyuna, although she will get negative backlash, will be able to continue on with her career quite smoothly. She is a veteran to the industry, so something like this will not harm her too extensively. Especially since her image tends to run on a more controversial spectrum.

Triple H and PENTAGON however, will be taking a big hit because of this.

It’s just the nature of dating in the KPOP Idol World. Idols actions and scandals tend to affect not only the idol in question, but the group they are apart of as well.

Because E’Dawn and Hyuna confirmed their relationship, the boys of PENTAGON may lose a massive number of their fans and the support those fans gave them. Simply because a good chunk of them are those crazy delusional fans. We have to keep in mind, PENTAGON is not only a rookie group, but they come from a small company. So loosing even a few fans is going to hurt them.

Bouncing back from this is going to difficult. Not impossible, just difficult.

It is sad to even call them selfish, E’Dawn and Hyuna, as I am sure they are probably extremely selfless people (I have never met them, but they seem like they would be nice). However, you can’t sit there and blindly say this situation won’t impact PENTAGON or Triple H. Whether you want it to or not, whether it should or it shouldn’t, enough fans are upset. And people tend to be more rash and do negative things when fueled by anger.

When you sign a contract, you sign your life away in the Idol World

I am a huge supporter of Idols being treated like human beings. I am big supporter of everyone being treated like human beings.

With that being said there are some sacrifices Idols, specifically rookie idols, need to make when they sign their contracts.

One of those is that your life is no longer your life.

You are now a music machine, you eat, sleep, wake up and think about music or acting or whatever they need you to do in your Idol World. It sucks, but its in the contract (or most of them).

From a business point of view it makes sense, in the first few years of your debut you should be focusing on making music, finding and creating your image, and growing a fan base.

From a humanitarian POV this is an unrightful restriction on a persons personal life, but these people didn’t sign these contracts to continue to have a personal life. They didn’t sign these contracts to be famous and continue to do whatever they wanted (at least not in the rookie years). It’s just not how this business works.

They signed that contract because they wanted to be singers, dancers, rappers, because they wanted to make music because they love music, they wanted to change the world, and because they wanted to be famous. They did not sign a contract to have a ‘normal’ life.

So, in conclusion to this mess of a rant:

People need to stop treating Idols like property.

They are not your property, they are human beings who make mistakes and have feelings

So just because your FAVE is no longer available does not mean you should stop supporting them

On the opposite end, idols need to realize that being ‘normal’ does not go with being an idol.

Generally speaking, you can’t be famous and normal.

It’s just not how it works.

Hyuna should have talked with her management (assuming that she didn’t do that in the first place) and tried to compromise on an official statement rather than going off on her own

Especially since Cube had already released an official statement refuting the rumors

This, in turn, can hurt Cube’s credibility on future statements relating to similar rumors

I get that you didn’t want to lie to your fans, but because of what you did, you may have negatively impacted the careers of 10 rookie idols, 9 of which have nothing to do with this

And I get that we live in this world ‘free of consequence’ but yeah no we don’t. Even ‘normal’ people have to tend to the consequences their actions may have reaped, this is nothing short of the same thing

It is, however, unfortunate that simply dating someone would reap such heavy consequences.

Some fans seriously need to get their heads out of the clouds

I, personally, support the relationship. Like they are cute as hell together. And will continue to support Hyuna, PENTAGON, and Triple H. It is very sad that some fans will leave a fandom just because their FAVE Idoll is in a relationship.

If you believe any of my information is incorrect please feel free to correct me. I’d rather be corrected that have a post that is showcasing false information.

If you share my opinion or don’t share my opinion, please feel free to let me know!

Let’s just try to be nice about it please.

[morkmywords]

Sales | EXO | Chanyeol

Masterlist

Note: I didn’t edit like always cause I hate editing so please excuse any mistakes, other than that enjoy!

Length: 1.4k

The mall was overflowing with people, like a river leaking from every store front and into the halls between. You were being dragged from store to store by your sister and father in search of the best sales. In all honesty you hated shopping with every bone in your body, the blaring music, the clutter of people cutting around, and least of all the sales. Sales were where thrifty people gathered to try and spend even less money than they already did. But you still went and suffered through people shoving you around and the shouting.

You mainly went for your sister, you knew it wasn’t easy trying to shop for clothing with your dad, for the most part he was a middle aged man and not a highschool aged girl but also because he didn’t see the point in buying clothing or posters of her favourite bands. I guess you also kind of went for your dad so he wouldn’t have to put up with your sister’s whining and so he could look at all the kitchen wares and sportsmemorabilia he wanted. You were also there for more hands to carry bags.

So there you were lugging around the bag of clothes your sister had just purchased through a music store while she browsed the isles looking for more kpop albums, or poster, you really didn’t know. You had only ever been in this sort of shop once before when your friends desperately wanted an album that just came out and she couldn’t order it online. You had to say it had definitely been upgraded since two years ago. You wandered the isles looking at the different posters lining the walls and browsing the many albums from all sorts of different groups until you found one you liked. You stopped at a bucket near the front as you waited for your sister to find everything she wanted and started digging through the pins and patches on sale. She came up behind you and started you making you jump into a cardboard display behind you almost knocking in over. Her arms were full of albums, figurines, pins, and the most daunting item of all, a giant cardboard cutout of some dude you assumed to be in one of the boy groups she liked.

“Why do you need THAT!?” You exclaimed pointing at the cardboard man.

“What do you mean that thing,” she said fuming, “this thing is EXO’s Xiumin and he is amazing.”

“Do you really need that?” You asked cringing at the idea of carrying it through the rest of the stores. You could see the tears beginning to well in her eyes and she started blubbering about how nobody ever lets her get what she wants and how everyone must hate her. Trying to stop her before the full on sobs came you quickly agreed to buy it and her mood did a complete 180 and she was smiling, practically bought mixing off the walls. You walked up to the cash register to buy the stuff while your sister looked at the sale items you were previously searching through, the young girl running the register gave you an odd look as you handed her the life sized man made out of cardboard, you just sighed and finished the transaction and dragged yourself out of the store behind you sister who was having the time of her life.

Thankfully she took the bag of albums but you were still left with the pieces of the cardboard man as you walked around the department store your sister dragged you into a few minutes previous. You looked through the jacket section as it would soon be winter and your jacket from last year was so worn out it was pasically a long sleeved shirt. You pushed the various jacket aside searching for one in your size and in a decent price when some bumped into you pushing you into a rack of ski jackets. You groaned and we’re about to start pushing yourself up when you were met with a hand in you face. You looked up to see if there was a body attached to the hand and to your surprise you were met with a very tall man who had the cutest ears poking out from underneath his hat. You grabbed his hand and ungracefully stood up, your balance was off and you started falling backwards again before strong arms caught you and brought you back to a standing position.

You gave him a small thank you as you turned around to search for the cut out you misplaced. You let out a small sigh when you checked it over and found it was still in one piece and nothing was broken. You brushed yourself off and turned around to see the guy who knocked you over still standing there.

“I’m sorry for knocking you over.” He said although it was slightly muffled by the mask he was wearing. You smiled in response and assured him it was no problem. You swore he was smiling under the mask he wore, and you noticed the little whisper of light pink hair peeking out from under his hat.

“Do you know what brand jacket is the best?” He asked pulling down his mask so you could hear him better. He looked somewhat familiar but you ignored it and answered his question.

“I’m not a jacket expert myself but maybe you could ask a sales associate.” You said with a small smile and pointed over at the information desk with your cardboard dude. He burst out laughing when he noticed the cutout and you face turned bright red.

“It’s rude to laugh,” You huffed out, “don’t you have any manners?”

“I’m sorry it’s just kind of funny since I know him.” He said in between giggles. You were puzzled wondering how he knew an idol but then you remembered seeing his face on the same poster as cardboard cutout guy in your sister’s room. Your face turned a whole other shade of pink as you stutter out.

“Y-y-you’re from exo, right?” All he replied with is a small nod his smile growing even bigger. At his confirmation you panicked.

“I’m sorry for being so rude I didn’t mean it.” You hurriedly said before bowing and starting to back out of the cramped isle.

“It’s fine, it was me who bumped into you in the first place.” He said reassuringly. Your nerves got the better of you and you blurt out.

“So if I sue you for assault I could get a lot of money.” You internally cursed yourself for you lacking known in law and stupid big mouth. You were about to leave before you realized he was laughing again.

“I don’t think that’s how it works but you could try.” He said matter of factly.

Fed up with him laughing at you, you hit out “maybe I will!” Before stomping away annoyed with the situation. You were a few isles away when a hand caught your wrist forcing you to stop and turn around. You were met again with the sight of the gigly giant idol and you tried to pry his hand off your wrist.

“I’m sorry for laughing at you but I didn’t introduce myself,” he said removing his hand and stepping back, instead he held out his hand for you to shake, “ My name is Chanyeol from Exo.”

“Chanyeol....” you said testing out his name, it seemed familiar probably because your sister had mentioned him multiple times.

“My name is y/n.” You said reaching out and shaking his hand, he smiled at you and you found yourself smiling back at him, he was kinda cute.

“If you don’t mind me asking, could I have your phone number you’re funny.” He said shyly. You were a bit taken aback by this seeing it was your first time having someone ask for your phone number let alone an idol with millions of fans. But you found yourself nodding and exchanging phone numbers with him.

As you were typing in your phone number you screeched as somebody tapped your shoulder. You turned around to see your sister giggling, she really knew how to get on your nerves. She kept laughing until she realized who was standing behind you, she looked starstruck whne she saw the confused Chanyeol. You giggled at both of their faces before finishing typing in your number and handing his phone back to him and snatching yours away.

“Nice meeting you!” You called over your shoulder as you dragged your sister behind you and out of the store. Once you were out of earshot she whispered

“Did Chanyeol from exo just ask for your number?” You nodded in response thinking to yourself he did didn’t he as a smile crept into your face. But you still hated sales.

[shiningforvixx]

180422 - 일산 (Ilsan) Fansign (6VIXX)

So I feel a couple ways about fansigns in that I want to see VIXX and talk to them in theory, but I feel a lot of pressure about saying the right thing to the members. If you just go to one fansign in your life, you can think of something really significant and then say that and be done. On the other hand, if you go to lots of fansigns, you can just chat about whatever. However, if you go to just a handful, you’re caught in the in between where you do have more than one chance to talk to them, but really how much do they actually remember you? Also, it may be my imagination, but every other fansign I’ve been to has left something lacking. The other ones are great. This time it was the great kind’s turn to have a go.

I went somewhat early to the venue because I picked up a camera from a friend on the way there. The number I picked (out of 100) was right in the middle, which personally is great to me but for pictures/view in a flat room (without staggered seats;;) is not great. Anywho, I was sitting there, and a friend of mine came over to ask me to film her while she went up. The person next to me must have heard me talking to her in Korean (mostly listening, but still) because after a while, she talked to me. She asked me (super politely and hesitantly) for a post-it, so I told her I got mine from the fan staff. It turned out to be her first fansign, so she was nervous. I told her I was nervous even though it wasn’t my first fansign. And I was. I was so nervous before going up to talk to them, but the thing is, I wasn’t nervous about being near VIXX, I was nervous because I didn’t know what to say. I think this is why I was nervous for the second 도원경 fansign too. Anywho, she and I chatted a bit here and there during the fansign and that was fun and helped my nerves.

I noticed Leo doing this...dumb thing where he was like granting people permission to approach him with a nod of his head. He was the first one in the line up and thus had such power. I guess it went to his head. One time in particular he even held his hand up so the person stopped before he decided they could approach him and nodded his head. This guy smh

Unfortunately, despite my frantically trying to jot down all that happened right when I sat down after talking to all of them, I managed to garble and forget some parts of what happened. This is my attempt at an ‘accurate’ replay of the signings.

As I have mentioned, I was rather nervous before going up to the stage, but upon actually approaching VIXX, I calmed down. Or rather, I wasn’t actually nervous. So I go up to the (unfairly gorgeous silver-haired beauty) Jung Taekwoon. I had sort of tried to think of some things to say, but I didn’t exactly get to say...anything I had wanted to really. Seriously, this guy;; I went up and he said “Hi,” so I said “hi” back. Then he said, “It’s been a while.” Which. It sort of had been? I mean, it depends what he was referring to. I saw him at his musical? And I had seen him the day before at Music Core (where he definitely didn’t see me). If he meant it had been a while since we’d been face-to-face...yeah. It had been about 6 months now that I think of it. Back to the fansign though, Leo glanced at the postcard I had written him and started chatting away. (Now I realize this may have been somewhat my fault because my first line of the letter was something about me possibly not having anything to say at the fansign. He glanced at what I had written and must have seen something about my dream because he suddenly asked what my dream was. I told him I want to be a translator and he immediately said he knows I will become one. Thanks Leo. (This Leo was such a turn around from the poor baby I saw at the LR fansign I went to. Poor sick babyㅠㅠ) He looked at the postcard I gave another time and realized there was Japanese on it. For some reason he was ridiculously surprised and said, “Japanese?!” So I told him I went to Japan. Which he then repeated. So I added that yes, I went, and I saw the hamjji that was so cute (on the postcard) that I had to buy it. He sort of ignored that comment...as he does. He also asked if I like Korea and why I do. I was reminded of the time during a 도원경 fansign when Ken asked what I like best about Korea. Upon hesitating, he offered the answer of “VIXX”, which I readily agreed was the best thing. I tried to use this answer with Leo, but I don’t know if he found it to be too jokey or what, but he was unsatisfied. He further asked if I like Korean food. (Yes.) Then asked if I liked spicy food. (Also yes.) I really feel like I’ve missed something here though because the flow of the conversation seems off...Anyway, we ended with him thanking me and 오래보자s to each other, so I won’t complain. (Except I looked at a video of me that my friend took and realized that I talked to Leo the least of all the membersㅠㅠㅠ He was leading the conversation too muchㅠㅠAgain. However, my friend reminded me that his asking me questions meant he was curious about me, so I feel better about it all haha)

Ravi was after Leo and somehow we managed to not be awkward! It is a miracle! I seriously thought that Ravi and I would be awkward with each other for all of eternity, but finally after 2.5 years of seeing him, 4 other fansigns, and semi-talking to hims once, we may have escaped Awkward Land! I think the first thing he asked me was how I have been (in English), to which I responded in Korean that I was doing well. I had already planned to talk to him about his lyrics/songs, so I told him that I like Navy & Shining Gold. I said I particularly liked the part in the song about being sorry. I also explained that I translate his songs and they are usually really hard (but this one wasn’t). He said hard at like the same time as me too though haha. (I think this was when he said sorry in English.) He said that he should make them easier, but I said no. I like that his lyrics are hard to express in another language because that means they are poetic. I feel like we might have mentioned something else here because we talked for a bit...strange. Anyway, we ended with the typical see you agains. (A side note: I kept being distracted by Ravi’s eyebrow?? The one with the scratch through it?? I kept looking at it when we talked. Even though he had a tissue sticking out of his nose as well because he had a nose bleedㅠㅠ)

Next was our Hyuk baby! I always struggle with what to say to Hyogi because...I don’t know he seems like such a mystery. This time I was prepared with a comment about his song on the album Good Day. I went up and he said hello (안녕하세요), and I replied with the same. I told him that he makes songs really well and that I quite like Good Day. I said that when I just hear the song, I feel great. To which Hyuk replied, “Oh really?” ...This kid;; I added that I like his other songs too. 안아줄게 and Milky Way. He’s really good at making exciting songs. However, this kid continued to not give me any material to work with and said, “Really? Thank you~” At this point, there was a pause where we were just looking at each other and blinking. Upon watching the video my friend shot of me, I couldn’t find this pause, but I swear there was oneㅠㅠ Silly time slowing down on me. Anyway, I figured we shouldn’t just stare at each other for eternity, but I didn’t know what to say anymore and Hyuk wasn’t helping me out either. So I literally said, “I don’t know what I should say.” Then Hyuk smoothly asked where I came from. I decided to lighten the atmosphere by saying the part of Seoul I came from, which made him laugh. (Success!) I continued by telling him I am from California. Then he just said, “California wine!” Cue me not knowing exactly what to do with that semi-statement. I asked if he likes wine, so he said yes and asked for a recommendation. Good thing I like wine too, but honestly I’m still figuring out what I like (and have a bias toward Italian wines for some reason). I thought of this almond wine I’d enjoyed before and tried to describe it. I ended with saying it was a sparkling wine, and Hyuk said, “Oh~ sparkling wine!” That was when he said thanks and we exchanged ‘see you agains.’

Ahhh, then N was nextㅠㅠㅠㅠ He is such a sweetheart and makes my heart all warm and fuzzy every fansign I go to. He seriously must steal so many hearts at fansigns. He makes you feel so special and noticed, you know? I went up to him and he said he remembers me. I wasn’t particularly surprised at this point because I have seen VIXX quite a few times, I know they’ve seen me a few times at least, and I am visually rather different than most fans. Anyway, he said he remembered me and that it had been a long time, right? On the spur of the moment I decided to ask if he knew how long it had been since I started coming to see them. He thought for a moment. Then he said, “I don’t remember exactly, but...3 years?” Although he was asking, his expression was expectant that he was pretty close. I was so...not exactly surprised but happy maybe? I told him it had been almost 3 years. I went to VIXX N Kpop sometimes back in the day. He nodded in understanding saying that that must be why he remembers my face. I told him that back then I didn’t know Korean. He seemed a bit surprised and said my Korean is good now (thanks haha). N said he hoped the radio was helpful and I made sure to say that it really was because he speaks so clearly. And then at the end he said “see you again^^”

Oh Kenneth. That kid was next. He...is always a fun one. He will probably always start in English. He said it had been a long time, so I responded in English that it had been. When he asked if I had been doing well, though, I switched to Korean to say I am doing well. I don’t recall if either of us said much else yet, but I overheard the person next to me speaking to Hongbin in Japanese. That really threw me off because my brain was suddenly like, “Japanese! You should listen to it! I don’t know what Korean isㅇㅅㅇ” I literally put my hands up to block the sound from my right side, and poor little Ken was so confused. I finally got across the point that my problem was hearing the Japanese next to me. The confusion (which he was trying to hide) immediately lifted from his face. Confusion turned to him being impressed and asking if I knew Japanese too. He was like, “You speak 3 languages? Korean, Japanese, and English?” So I told him my history of translating VIXX stuff, starting with Japanese and now mostly just doing Korean. He told me I am a genius (in English). More specifically he said, “Genius이네요!”ㅋㅋㅋ I of course denied being a genius and we said see you again before I moved on.

Last was Hongbin...with whose interaction I don’t remember very wellㅠㅠ I do know that he said my name (which I just love when he says). Then Ken leaned over (because no one was in front of him yet) and told Hongbin that I know Japanese too. Hongbin was impressed and asked how I learned Korean, so I told him. I also semi-jokingly said that VIXX helped me. (But really though.) I told him that I sort of picked up some of the members’ speech patterns because I had watched so much of their stuff, haha. I think he was somewhat amused at that (or didn’t believe me, who knows?). He also asked where I came from, so I asked if he meant now. He said originally, so I told him I was from California but now live in the area of Seoul I live in. He asked (again--see 도원경 fansign #1) how long I have liked VIXX. I said about 4 years (to keep it simple seeing as that is when I feel I became a fan rather than just liking them). He thought I said 3 years though, so I corrected him. He seemed a bit impressed at the length. I think that is all we talked about before saying our goodbyes.

After going through and getting signatures from and talking to everyone, I had to wait a while for everyone to finish. At the end, 2 people were selected to ask questions. One person asked about the order of VIXX’s names in the fanchant for My Valentine. N explained that the order was just the order that the members stand up for the choreography. (The fanchant was changed to this to match the members standing up instead of the usual age order chant.) They also shared how the members almost laughed when the fans were confused that 2 members were standing up at a time (because the music show they were on had cut the song slightly without warning the fans;;). The second question was whether they had cried when listening to a song before. They each went through and answered and they said goodbye and left. (Leo kept waving until the very end and poked his head back out after the door closed. He even opened the 2nd door, which they hadn’t gone through, to wave again. The fan manager had to point that out for us to see because everyone was already getting up to go. That precious kidㅠㅠ

(Video here.)

[inseomermaid-blog]

An Inner Circle First-Timer’s Concert Experience In Seoul [#WINNEREverywhereTourinSeoul]

So. If you tell me freakin’ one year ago if I’d be flying to Seoul for a Kpop concert, I’d smack you for slander.

Buuuuut here we are, a week after WINNER’s Everywhere Tour in Seoul :))))) I’ve just begun to recover. Literally, it took me a week to get through the stages of mourning and to accept that it’s over HAHAHUHU

Anyway, here’s my (and Liz’s) experience in attending a concert in Seoul!

---

Why we wanted to see them in Seoul (when it was sure they were gonna go to MANILA anyway):

1. It’s Liz’s annual bday trip gipp!! Or idk, this is part of the rationalization we thought of AHAHA. Initially, we were set for Singapore as it would be way cheaper for sure, but another reason came up....

2. We wanted to see them in their most “comfortable” version - Not sure if comfortable is the word, but I guess we wanted to see them how they were in their home country?? Speaking comfortably in Korean and all? We were anticipating that for other countries it would probably be just Yoon speaking most of the time (not that it’s a problem with us HAHA), and we wanted to see all them four being their natural makulit presence on stage (without them thinking about the language hinderance--even if kami yung hindi makaintindi sa kanila :)))) I know it’s a weird reasoning but :)))) And it’s been a long time since they’ve done a full concert in Seoul! We just wanted to be there in the kickoff concert. I mean, if we were willing to fly out to see them, o di todo na namin diba? Seoul it is!

--

How we got the tickets:

Here’s the thing: this is not our first rodeo. We’ve already successfully watched Coldplay in Singapore last year after (WHAT I THOUGHT WAS ALREADY) a bloody online ticketing war. Coldplay tickets were wiped out in 20 minutes, I think? But I was able to secure 7 tickets (3 VIP standing, 4 upper box tickets) after much death and resurrection.

We thought we were prepared for a WINNER ticketing war lol. We were not. Everything (or at least the seats we targeted) was more or less gone in less than 4 minutes.

There were two waves, one week apart. Both of them were intense :)))) I guess our third-world country internet cannot compete with their 5G data network?!

A HUGE HUGE HUGE thank you to Cams and Dianne for basically hand-holding me throughout the entire process of securing tickets from Seoul!! T_T Without them, we probably wouldn’t have gotten tickets. All transactions were smooth and hassle-free. There were a lot of K-ICs who also wanted G-ICs to attend the Seoul concert and thus were purchasing tickets so scalpers can’t get to them first. They also helped me with tips and advice on where to stay, where to go, etc etc as it was our first time in Korea. Sobrang bait and helpful nila as in! T_T

---

Of course that was only half of the problem:

In less than a month, we had to book flights (ANG MAHAL NA NITO SIYEMPRE), book hotel (Thank you Agoda for your occasional flash sales) and of course, VISA. We highly recommend TravelPros for your Korean visa processing needs! We spent around 700 pesos for this, and we got the visa in exactly 6 days. Super fast. Pero may drama pa kami dun sa visa requirements LORD HAHA pero hindi ko na kwento haba na nito. BASTA when we got the visa I wanted to throw a fiesta, ganung level =))

---

CONCERT D-Day~~~

We wanted to get in early-ish because we were anticipating the DVD / merch line.

The train was a bit confusing for this stop!! We knew we were not the only ones because some of the Koreans were also confused where to get off haha

This ad greeted us before the exit!

Entering the Olympic Park Stadium~

Sure enough the line was at least 500m already when we arrived at around 10:45.

AAAAAND YES I lined up for 2 hours for the DVD 0_0 Under the heat of Korean summer 0_0 

Questions in my mind while in queue:

1. why does everyone look so fresh except me

2. how to spot foreigners: they use umbrellas for the heat

3. Don’t be weak

4. why am I doing this again

Anyway, tada~

Let’s just ignore the part where if we waited until 3pm, or at least when the line tapered off, I could have gotten it without the sunburn on my batok but where’s the fun in that no?

Liz and teh boyfriend lined up for merch (mercifully it was shorter) and they were able to buy 2 lightsticks (OUR FIRST ONES YAY! Hirap daw lagyan ng battery lol) and shirts (X and XL lang ang available sizes but it still works out!?? What is this Korean sizing sorcery?!)

---

All the cafe / restos were full (Mamamoo was also having a concert that day!) so we had to settle for convenience store food :))) It wasn’t bad!

Met Cams and lots of other PH-ICs who travelled from MNL! You can check out #ICsPHGoesToSeoul to see what everyone was up to while in Seoul.

We got a lot of fans (as in pamaypay) from different fansites (and thus we didn’t have to line up, yay!) and actually saw the faces behind big accounts* HAHA it was surreal.

Actually, the whole thing was pretty surreal (YA THINK) in a good way. Since it’s our first time to attend a KPop concert, we didn’t know a lot of things. One of those was... lining up for freebies given by fansites. 

Girl, INTENSE. As in,  pila kung pila ang mga bagets and not-so bagets. Paano naman kasi ang cute ng freebies! Fans, stickers, photocards, etc. Looking back feeling ko dapat pumila/bumili kami BUT holehhhshit it was really so hot, and after lining up for 2 hours we wanted to just save our energy. 

Super tita namin right?! 

Also most of the masternims who were offering their freebies were all speaking in Korean (malamang) so we didn’t know if it was free or for sale... AH BASTA MAGULO isip namin hahaha yeaaaah looking back we should have at least tried BUT yun nga, it was really too damn hot to walk around talaga. Maybe next time!! (next time talaga?!)

Kill time! We just randomly sat anywhere we could #ifItfitswesits 

At some points, we could hear the sound check so medyo spoilery siya (we heard Jinwoo’s solo performance HAHA) at the same time we were like OMG 0_0

---

FINALLY TIME TO ENTER! 

Our seats were 2F (as in second floor). We were initially planning to aim for 1F but giiiiiirl waley. 2F wasn’t that bad! Ang nasa isip ko MOA Arena levels where it’s too high up. This was okay (as if may choice kami HAHA). 1F would be the best seats talaga. Standing is a gamble because there’s a chance you won’t be able to see anything BUT the interactions that WINNER made with the standing group was really worth it :))))) WATCH THE FANCAMS IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I MEAN

I tried to use MIXLR for the first time pala, since I wanted to kinda pay it forward. The first time I “experienced” a WINNER concert was through Cami’s Fukuoka?? mixlr concert and back then I thought, it’s amazing that someone would really try to share this experience with us that can’t make it to the concert. 

(Now that I’m replaying my mixlr, I AM SORRY FOR THE THOUSAND OMGs I SAID =)))) I swear I’m more coherent than that--except when you know, Mino was body rolling live, Hoony was lifting his shirt to reveal his perfect 6-pack abs, Jinwoo with his ethereal voice and stage presence, and Yoon’s powerful vocals and performance. Wala na talaga ako masabi kung hindi OH MY GOD =)))) So I’m not sure if I’ll ever mixlr again hahaha kasi marami naman who does it and is more pro about it??? let’s see :)))

Here are some notable thoughts I remember from the concert (sorry more Tagalog here because all the feels)

1. ANG GWAPO NILANG LAHAT. I mean, fo sure I didn’t stan them for visuals (promise talaga! It was really about the music. Sawain ako sa visuals actually) BUT hooooshit. They are different irl. I’ve seen them before in NAIA airport for like.... 10 seconds and like I knew they were really good-looking. BUT ON STAGE. IN FULL PERFORMANCE GLORY. THEIR VISUALS ARE INSANE. 

2. SOLO STAGES. WHERE TO BEGIN. I didn’t know I’d see Mino perform Body live ever (I thought he had retired the song and I’ve accepted it) BUT GOOD LORD. The “mashup” for Body and TOTL was just made to be together. The stage and performance was oozing with sexiness and charisma and my mind was just a puddle at this point. Mino doesn’t do full-on sexy very often (am I right? It’s like between deliberate sexy and swag, he’d go for more swag) so when he did this... live... the body rolling... the kinda grinding.... we died. 

3. JINWOO. Jusko. Where to start with Jinwoo. I’m rewatching our fancam of his Untitled 2014 performance and it’s the only one who made me feel goosebumps. Especially the part where he went up the stairs and the spotlight was on him, and he was singing so passionately and the audience was just in complete awe. IT WAS A MAGICAL MOMENT I CAN’T EXPLAIN. It’s like as he walked up the stairs and sang, it was like he was taking his rightful place as a superstar. Jinwoo is not even my bias but I super kaduper want him to succeed and become more confident with this abilities (I am speaking from someone who watched Who is Next haha). After his solo stage, my immediate first thought was: JINWOO IS READY TO HAVE A SOLO ALBUM.

4. YOON’S SOLO STAGE. Lol I cried. Ever since I’ve heard It Rains (his solo song), I’ve wanted to hear it live, but I didn’t expect that he’d sing it ever again--maybe he’d sing Wild and Young but not It Rains. The arrangement was “simple” but the experience was HOLY. As in, it was like angels were singing. His clear and strong voice filled the whole arena. The adlibs he did were insane. Literally it was like going to church. The lights and the background visuals were stunning. Sobrang full on drama / rocker Yoon mode! It is something to behold live. Also... INSTINCTIVELY. I also never thought I’d see Yoon perform with a guitar ever again. (Ang drama?? never talaga?? hahaha but I never know with Yoon kasi! He’s so experimental with genres that when he’s already done something already, it might take a long time for him to comeback [in this case, to his rocker roots]). When he took off his blazer... BAKLA SIGAW TALAGA AKOOOOooooo =)))) Looking at him perform like this, I can’t believe he didn’t go solo. I know he’s happier with a group (and I am thankful) but his presence as a solo artist is still very much there. I hope Yoon can release his solo album soon because Liz and I will definitely fly again to Korea when that happens!!! :)

>>>[OPEN FOR A SURPRISE]<<<

Grabe thissss pic.twitter.com/AvxeuT4Xoh

5. HOON. How so even begin writing about Deputy Lee’s stage. He performed Ringa Linga (modified with Hoon’s rap which was a cool touch I think) and Serenade (EVERYONE’S WAITING FOR THIS). I don’t know where haters get the idea that Hoon can’t dance. Like... are you guys BLIND?!?!? He’s one of the most naturally gifted dancers I’ve ever seen--because he dances to feeling**, not with just choreo. Ringa Linga was a perfect choice for him because he was able to showcase his vocals, dancing prowess and abs all at the same time. The dance breaks were insane. AND MY GOD, Hoon’s body is perfection. His arms, torso, legs... ART. 

6. The costumes, lights (LIGHTS), pyrotechnics, over-all stage design was just A++++. I don’t know why I thought it was going to be a much simpler stage but they really went all-in with everything.

7. The nebula ocean was beautiful. I keep saying in the mixlr... “I’ve never seen so many Inner Circles in my entire life” because it’s true! For some reason there is a notion that we are a small fandom and maybe that’s true compared to others... but we are not less powerful. At least 99% of seats were taken, the standing was packed. Everyone was doing the fanchants. Almost everyone had the lightstick. It was humbling and inspiring to see all the fans who love WINNER come together in one venue, screaming their voices out and singing to the songs (while still being respectful and attentive to each stage performance).

4winner 4ever 💙💙💙💙#WINNEREverywhereTourInSeoul pic.twitter.com/dKXYst03v4

8. The boys really love each other. As in, you can feel their chemistry and their teamwork onstage. Of course, I don’t understand the ments while it was going on (by now I’ve seen the translated fancams of course) but I can definitely tell from their body language and the way they regard each other that they are brothers. And they were just so happy! Running to and from the stage, taking fan’s phones, they were on FULL-ON fanservice. I could feel the love from where I was sitting.

9. I want to pick my favorite stages but I don’t know how. It was surreal to shout “Neol johahae!” for REALLY REALLY and answer Hoon’s pizza pasta so so with “YUM YUM!” =))))) Sobrang surreal na nangyayari siya sa harapan ko at hindi sa Youtube (with subtitles). Love Me Love Me stage was super cute, Moviestar was tear-inducing. Speaking of Movie Star, the fan event was so funny! They were really surprised because it happened right smack in the middle (usually it happens at the end, but they were expecting it kasi). All four of them were very confused and I feel like they really didn’t see the video as much because they were busy being... confused with what was happening. But when they understood they look like they were touched and slightly cross that we were able to fool them HAHA.

Also:

MINYOON MINYOON MINYOON

10. There were many cute moments of ICs that I witnessed. Like, before the concert started, they were playing WINNER songs on the screen. Then suddenly, Body was played. Inner Circles all screamed =))) BASTA SOBRANG FUNNY. During Mino’s kissing scene, half of ICs were turned on, half were saying “Nooooo” =))) Then during encore, we were supposed to sing We Were (as in the whole song). When it was already the second stanza, the singing became softer and softer, because it was apparent that ICs haven’t memorized the lyrics. Everyone laughed hard. IT WAS SOOOOOO CUTE T_T

BONUS:

After the concert, we kinda rushed to the back exit to wait for WINNER. Lol it took more than an hour for them to come out (of course lots of picture-taking, maybe even speeches for the team, etc etc). We saw Yang Hyun Suk (ICs began to chant his name too #insidejokefromtheconcert and sure ako labas sa ilong yun hahaha), PO, Jinwoo’s dad, Yoon’s mom, most of the dancers (Gahee my love were you there) to name a few.

Again, it was a tender moment because the van was supposed to “cover” their exit from the door, but the fans cried “Noooo” and begged security to let us see them :)) So after a few minutes, the van adjusted its position, so WINNER could walk out and wave to the crowd outside. They looked very very very happy and thankful to see us. <3

---

We met with some of the PH-ICs again to talk about the concert IN TAGALOG PARA TODO YUNG FEELS :))) I can’t wait to see everyone again in November!

---

Aaaaand by 12 am we were back in our hotel after getting lost in Dongmyo exit HAHA. Can’t blame us, all our braincells were left in the Olympic Park Stadium :)) It was really a memorable experience that we hope we can repeat for sure on November (WHICH IS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH). Aiming for nearer seats this time, but let’s see what the universe will give us. 

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I thought if I finally see WINNER live I’d be finally scratching an itch--like I’ve already see them live and that’s that. But NOOOOOooooooOOOOOooo. It’s completely the opposite. Now YouTube and mixlrs are not enough anymore T_T When you’ve seen them live... you just want to repeat the experience over and over again.

To all Inner Circles still reading up to this point: CONGRATS and THANK YOU:))

 Also, my god. You can forget everything you’ve read up to this point but just remember this.

SEE

THEM

LIVE.

See them live.

I am not kidding around. You should, at least once in your life. Even if it’s just General Admission ticket or the farthest seat***. It’s different when you are in the same venue and you see them performing LIVE right in front of your very eyes. In my opinion, Yoon’s voice is 10x better live---recording absolutely does not do him justice. Same with the Mino, Jinwoo and Hoon. Their vocals, dance skills, over-all charisma cannot be simply captured by the camera. YOU HAVE TO SEE THEM LIVE TO KNOW WHAT I MEAN, WHY I’M SO ADAMANT ABOUT THIS :)))) I’ve seen performers that are exactly the same live as they are in YouTube or sound the same like Spotify but I can say with complete confidence: not WINNER. I can say their true strength is live performance.

I’m sure I’ve missed a lot but this is becoming a research-paper already HAHA so I’d end it here. SO glad we pushed for this trip, so blessed that everything worked in our favor (we were the last flight out before the NAIA airport incident happened huhu) and we’re already looking forward to November in MNL****! :)

till then bye~

P.S. If you want to chika more or need me to translate the Filipino bits lol just hit me up on teh Ask :)

*we saw at least 2 big Yoon masternims that we avidly follow talaga, 2 european ics we follow (lol “european” what is dead giveaway lol) and 1 of the 3 japanese KSY fans we also like HAHA so cute T_T

** I’m not a dancer, but my boyfriend is, and I remember him saying that personally he has more respect for dancers who dance according to what he feels--because it’s one of the highest forms of expression (as opposed to just relying with choreo). It’s a testament to a dancer’s ability that he/she is able to catch the beat without “thinking” about it too much--so the dance becomes the story of the dancer, not the choreo. LOL I think I’m botching his explanation about it but it’s just I remember Hoon whenever my boyfriend and I talk about freestyle dance.

*** Of course it you can’t make it due to various reasons that’s okay, but if you have a chance to make it happen, don’t hesitate. I’d say it’s worth every penny you’d spend to see them live.

[daisy-constellations]

Il Me L’a Dit, L’a Juré Pour La Vie - Part Eighteen

Marinette didn’t think inviting Chat Noir in for milk would lead to this.

The heroes were 20 years old, in university, and it was now time to trust each other better than they ever did.

CHAPTER LIST

Rating: Teen/ Mature.

Angst and fluff, and all that good stuff.

Author’s Note: Oh... well hello there!

That was some hiatus I went on there. I'm sorry about that. Life happens sometimes and I hope you guys understand. Don't want to get into details, but I was leaving my other job and starting a new job, as well as starting my final year in university. I'm so fucking excited to finish school.

But anyway, here's the newest chapter!! Yayy! Once again, I'm sorry about the long wait.

A few things I'd like to address... UHM SEASON 2 IS SO CLOSE. It's coming out on my birthday, I'm so excited. Who else is excited??

I also got into kpop during my hiatus. GOT7 and Twice are my bias groups, but BTS is creeping up on me guys. Their new album is great. If anyone wants to talk kpop or Miraculous, or just life in general, feel free to message me! 

Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!

I wrote a Marichat One Shot if anyone is interested (x) :)

Il Me L’a Dit, L’a Juré Pour La Vie - Part Eighteen

Sore

Marinette peeled her raw eyes opened, the sensitive skin underneath was burning. She had cried the majority of the night. The sun was out and shining through the curtains that Marinette hated with a passion. The bright rays were too enthusiastic for her – a perfectly beautiful fall day to spend in bed.  She rolled over pulling the covers over her head and shivered. She wasn’t the type to sleep through the night without at least wearing a shirt, but when she arrived home the day before, she chucked off the black turtleneck that she was wearing, burying it under heaps of fabrics in the closet. She immediately curled up in bed in her bra and shorts, and had not budged since. She was exhausted and sore from the fight… but she kept telling herself that her pains were trivial compared to Adrien’s. She wondered how he was doing and then realized that she left him and no longer had the right to think like that.

“It’s for the best…” Marinette croaked out reminding herself. She rubbed her face trying to release some of tension.

She reached over for her phone; it was almost noon. No messages – what was I expecting? She thought placing it back. Sighing, she let her hand drop onto the soft mattress and realized she missed her morning classes, yet had no intentions of attending them either way. She had been falling in and out of sleep for almost 12 hours; the worst was when she woke up at 4 in the morning and thought she felt her heart break in her chest. She cried again, Tikki curled up in her hair and caressed her until her fits settled.

Her apartment has been quiet all morning; Nino must have taken Alya back to his place after the fight to take care of her. Alya. She was safe. She was with Nino. Maybe she remembered what happened yesterday - Marinette didn’t know. As long as Alya wasn’t feeling any sort of effect from Hawkmoth and this akumatization, she was glad to know that she was okay and that she didn’t mess up saving her best friend… If they still could consider themselves that. She was probably still mad at her. How could she just get over this? Marinette rolled out of her bed, pulling her comforter off the bed in the process. She groaned, her arms and back still tender, and carefully moved her limbs. She picked her phone up, looking once more at the screen before placing it in the waistband of her shorts. She picked up a purple hoodie that was crumpled at the foot of her bed and slipped it on.

She dragged her feet to the washroom, her shoulders shrugged forward. If Alya had been here, she would have probably stayed in bed and just avoided leaving her room at all costs. She would be lying to herself though if she said she didn’t miss her. She never wanted to hurt her, she was trying to protect herself, but had no intention of upsetting Alya like she did. She was going to tell Alya eventually… She was still figuring out how to tell her. Especially after that whole fight about Alya wanting her to move on from Adrien…

Adrien. The blond headed boy kept finding his way back to the front of Marinette’s mind. She shook her head gently from side to side, trying to repress any thoughts on him.

Alya would know what to do about her situation with Adrien. She always knew what to do.

She blinked at her reflection in the mirror, her hair was sticking up at opposite sides of her head, her lips were dry and her eyes were obviously red and puffy. She rubbed her cheeks and noticed a big blue bruise on her forearm. She inched closer to the mirror and poked it, wincing at the pain.

She frowned. Her powers were not healing as they should be, remembering the deep gash in Adrien’s chest and shoulder. She sighed and brushed the stray hairs out of her face. Hawkmoth was stronger, but why didn’t her powers work entirely? Now that she thought about it, did Alya also have any lasting injuries?

When she slumped into the kitchen, she opened the fridge and stared at the products with no particular appetite. Tikki flew over her head, “Marinette, how are you feeling?”

Marinette turned slightly towards her kwami and sighed. “Tikki, I don’t mean to be rude, but what kind of question is that?”

The little red creature crossed her arms, her brows furrowed. Marinette shrugged, “I’m bad. I had to do the hardest thing ever… Who knew I would ever say no to Adrien Agreste.” Marinette closed the fridge and let out a pathetic chuckle.

Tikki settled on the countertop as Marinette leaned forward, resting her head in the crook of her arms on the cool surface, her face at the same level as Tikki. The kwami’s big blue eyes were filled with concerned after spending the night with a very heartbroken Marinette, however, Tikki had her own thoughts on the incident.

“You’re giving me that look again,” Marinette mumbled.

“What look?”

“THE look…” Marinette closed her eyes. “I’m not in the mood.” Her throat was still hoarse and cracked when she raised her voice.

“I know,” Tikki said softly. She understood what Marinette was saying, but she could not let her sit at home like this. Tikki had learned over the years that it was better to address Marinette immediately about an issue, rather than waiting. She knew this was a tough topic, which was all the more reason to bring it up. “But aren’t you being a little too rash? How can you and Adrien fight together now? You two were all over the place yesterday.”

“I don’t want him to get hurt again. The only way for that to happen is if we are no longer… a thing. It’s what caused this whole mess in the first place anyway…” Marinette gently rubbed the top of Tikki’s head with her fingertips. She met her kwami’s gaze sadly. Marinette thought about the battle from the day before; Chat Noir fighting off Lady Wifi on his own, flashbacks of his lifeless body flopping to the ground.

“And… why didn’t the miraculous work yesterday?” Marinette mumbled quietly, “I obviously failed somewhere as a hero…”

“Marinette, don’t worry so much. Maybe it was because you didn’t use your lucky charm effectively.”

Marinette squeezed her eyes shut, “So it’s still my fault that he’s hurt.”

“It’s not though. How were you supposed to know that it wouldn’t work?” Tikki said, reaching out for the young woman.

“I’m supposed to be the one who saves everyone.”

“Marinette,” Tikki sighed. She knew how stubborn her partner could be. “You and Adrien are partners. Do you know what that means? Do I have to explain to a 20 year old what it means to be partners?” Tikki knew that Marinette was being ridiculous, and tried her best to see if joking around might make her realize her mistakes. “You don’t have to do everything on your own.”

Marinette sighed loudly and stood back up. “Yeah… but Tikki, even if I get over the fact that I hurt the love of my life, how could I face him now?”

She told Adrien that she loved him, but that’s not how she wanted to tell him that. How could she ruin that for herself, and Adrien didn’t deserve that.

“Well-“ Tikki began when suddenly a loud rap at the door startled the girls. Marinette stared wide eyed at the door. She glanced at her kwami, remaining completely still in her spot.

She tried to ignore the knocking on her door, holding her breath, but they didn’t stop. Hopefully, whoever it was will go away soon. Marinette really hoped it wasn’t Adrien; she didn’t want him standing there, waiting, and wasting his time.

However, this person was very persistent with their knocking, until they finally said something, “Marinette, I know you’re in there.”

Tikki yelped and hid behind a light fixture, still curiously peering over the side.

Marinette frowned and crept slowly to the door, her hand hovering over the knob. They sighed and suddenly, her phone began vibrating at her hips, the pop ringtone filling in the quiet space. Marinette yelped and jumped away from the door.

“I knew you were there! Open the door!”

Grumbling, Marinette turned the handle and opened the door just enough to expose half her face. “What is it Nino?”

Her friend stood at her door, his arms crossed, concern was drawn across his features. “We need to talk.”

“Nino, I really don’t want to. I look and feel like shit, and I just want to be alone.”

“Come on Mari… Please.” Nino said softly. He looked genuinely worried. Marinette inhaled and scanned Nino’s face one last time before allowing him to enter her apartment.

“Why are you here?” Marinette almost whispered. She was relieved to have him here, but almost wished he wasn’t. She felt embarrassment creep up her cheeks as she remembered her last encounter with Nino. She was beaten up, tired and upset… but he didn’t know it was her. He just saw Ladybug struggling.

“For many reasons... You should know why I’m here.” He raised his eyebrow.

She blinked at him blankly, playing the clueless card in order to buy some time for herself. She was ashamed.

“You know what I’m talking about... Adrien? What happened? Did you break it off with him because of Alya?”

“…Something like that.”

Nino sighed again, and lifted his glasses to rub the spot on the bridge of his nose. “You should know Alya better than this. She’s going to get over it.”

“It’s more complicated than you think…”

“Mari…”

“She was akumatized yesterday because of me. She got hurt badly.” It’s all my fault. Marinette felt her lip tremble and bit down on it. The guilt was pushing down on her.

“She’s fine now. Not a scratch left on her. Ladybug saved her. No worries.”

Marinette’s jaw tensed, “Yeah. Luckily she was there.”

“It was some fight though. I’ve never seen the duo so roughed up.”

Marinette looked away, rubbing the side of her arm. It was humiliating to know that Paris had seen her struggling to protect them… What if they no longer believed in her? What if they no longer thought that she could protect them?

“They’ve been through a lot, but… they really did struggle this time…” Nino continued after Marinette’s silence.

“You have no idea…” She mumbled to herself.

“Either way, Alya is fine now. There’s no need to stress over this. She’s not injured and I was with her all night.”

Marinette nodded, relieved. Nino wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tightly. She shut her eyes. “Thank you Nino for taking care of her and… for not hating me…”

He smiled and pulled away to look over Marinette’s face. “How could I ever hate you, Mari. Besides, I’m kind of in a tough spot right now to be honest, and I just want to fix it… as soon as possible.” Nino let out a soft chuckle. “I love all three of you guys and just want the gang back.”

Marinette turned away, feeling worse than before, “I’m so sorry Nino… I… I didn’t mean to put you through all this. I’ve been so selfish-“ Her voice cracked and she hiccupped, trying to hold back tears.

“Hey hey hey…” Nino said, attempting to reassure his friend. He grabbed her shoulders to turn her towards him. “It’s okay… There’s nothing you can do now but fix it. Alya and Adrien… they care about you, you know they do. And you care about them, right?”

Marinette nodded vigorously, wiping her eyes.

“Exactly. And I’ll help you get through this. I can promise you that you can easily fix this with Alya. She’s kind of moping around my place, blaming herself.” Nino looked around the apartment and back down Marinette’s slim body, clad in a wrinkled sweater and shorts. He smirked at her hair sticking up. “I’m assuming that’s what you’re doing too.”

“God, I already miss her…”

“That’s what she said this morning too.” Nino chuckled.

Marinette let out a laugh and nodded again. She suddenly felt a little better, and the two definitely needed to talk, but her worries tormented her.

“Alright. So I’ll send Alya home today then…?” Nino raised his eyebrow.

“I-I don’t know…”

“Why not?”

“Did you… Did you talk to Adrien?” Marinette couldn’t help but asking, wanting to avoid Nino’s question. She didn’t think she had the right but she needed to know how he was doing.

“I did. He just told me you broke it off, but that was it. He hasn’t answered me since.”

“Oh…” She didn’t even try to hide her disappointment.

“Why did you break it off?” Nino asked quietly. He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

Marinette’s mouth opened, trying to find an answer. When nothing came out, she closed it and squeezed her eyes shut. Her fingers played with the ends of her hair. “I’m usually a very level headed person, but… Nino. I can’t put anyone else in danger. Not after what I did to Alya yesterday. I can’t risk that with Adrien. I can’t hurt him… I know he’s been through a lot.”

She walked over to the front door of her apartment, holding the handle tightly in her hand. “Maybe I shouldn’t fix things with Alya. It’s better if she stays away… As should you.”

“Marinette, are you hearing yourself? Are you okay?” Nino was bewildered. What was this flip flop behaviour? He stared at her in disbelief.

“Nino, thank you for your help.” She didn’t even know what she was saying anymore. She didn’t know what she wanted. She didn’t deserve anything, or so it felt to her. She cursed internally for even allowing herself to think she could fix anything.

Marinette opened the door slightly for Nino and looked at him, urging him to leave. He glanced around the apartment, his mouth opened. He tried to think of things to say to her; she was being ridiculous. He raised his hands up to his hat, let out a sigh, and then dropped them back to his side.

He walked towards Marinette and squeezed her shoulder before leaving. The dark haired girl sighed, feeling her lower lip tremble again and her eyes well. She slumped against the door, sliding down towards the ground, where she buried her face in her hands.

***

Nino zipped up his jacket as soon as he stepped out onto the sidewalk, his breath forming small clouds in front of his face with every puff already.

“Well?” Alya was leaning against a lamppost, her hands tucked under her armpits.

“You better go up there. She won’t listen to me.”

“How sulky and stubborn is she being?” Alya approached her boyfriend. The corner of her lips were curled in a small smile. There were only a few people who could get through to Marinette. Her parents, Tikki and Alya.

Nino shrugged slowly, smiling, “She kicked me out.”

Alya looked up the side of the apartment building laughing. “She better be ready for me.” She kissed Nino, “Thank you.”

He rubbed her arms, “Anything for you. I’m gonna head home, okay?”

Alya nodded.

***

“How long do you think the scars are going to stay for?” Adrien asked Plagg glancing at his chest in the mirror. The gashes were still a bright red, but not nearly as deep and blistered as the day before.

The kwami shrugged, “Beats me, but you’re healing really well.”

Adrien sighed and walked out of the bathroom. He grabbed the white t-shirt that hung on the side of his bed and pulled on a beige oversized sweater on top. “Whatever, they better be gone by the time I get to Milan.”

“Don’t worry. They should be.” Plagg followed him behind as Adrien began sorting out clothes on his bed for his coming trip. “You going to tell Marinette where you’re going?”

Adrien continued his packing, disregarding the kwami.

“Hey.”

Silence.

“Hey I said!” Plagg shouted.

“No. I’m not. Why should I?” Adrien snapped.

“What if there’s an akuma while you’re gone?” Plagg settled on the pillow in front of his partner, his glowing green eyes watched him.

“She can figure it out.” Adrien stopped his movements and looked up, “God why do you have to be like this. You know I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Just thinking about it.” Plagg shrugged.

“No. I’m not going to tell her. I don’t think we’ll be talking for a long time.” Adrien leaned over, reaching for his phone on the table next to his bed. There were only texts from Nino. Adrien frowned, ignoring them all. “Now shut up or else no camembert.”

[meinliebster]

/a sorrowful farewell - mein sechste Nostalgie./

note: this post will be written totally in english. the first time i don’t want to write anything in vietnamese. and the longest post in this blog. four recent days is a greatly hurtful period for me to have undergone. he left the world, left his group, left his family and relatives, left his fans at the age of a still young fine man, twenty-seven. he left all of us too surprisingly. until now, if you asked me to express my feelings of recent days in words, i would let myself be speechless. really, i didn’t know, i don’t know and i will never know what to interpret fully this hurt, and empty feeling. i also don’t know to call his method of finishing his life selfish or trying to escape from hardships. i still remember my first impression with him. that day was in the period of time when i had to revise for my semester exam in grade five or may 2011. i listened to ring ding dong for the first time, and after listening that, i did not do well in my test the day after. my head that time was full of his first line ‘babe’ in ring ding dong. and until now, when other shawols have sung ‘replay’ for the farewell to him, i have thought, if i came there, i would have sung ‘ring ding dong’ instead since it made a too deep impression on me. he is the person leading me to shinee. he is the person i love much, though it can not be as great as kibum. he, together with his fellow members including kibum, makes me decide to join the ‘shawol’ fanclub. he, together with kibum, makes me ship them both platonically and romantically as real soulmates. then, finally he himself makes the most hurtful pain in my fangirl life. many people understand shawols, but also there are others criticizing us for feeling sympathetic for a case of suicide. they even brought out the evidence of ‘dien bien phu-in-air victory’ in hanoi in 1973. i can never understand why they have to clarify their criticism so poorly like that for kpop fans because of paying sympathetic attention to their idols. that makes me realize, prejudice once appears, itself will hardly disappear as the time passes with more improvement in thinking. i feel tired. i feel empty. but i can not cry. i still feel my love, my sadness to him, to his group, to my own ultimate one-true-pairing. from the time i heard that news until yesterday, i have paid fully three tributes to him, to my ultimate couple and to his group which was a part of my teenager age. but now, i still can not stop feeling the sorrow deep from my heart to this still shocking fact, especially after i finished reading the hand-written farewell letter with the cartier ring for the most recent birthday of kibum sending to him. he has really gone. everyone has had tears falling down. the moon surprisingly turned peaceful blue which is the official color of shinee this morning (in my country’s time zone.) to send the sadness and sympathy. i have tried to tell my fellow co-workers or my dear sisters in hopemin’s world that i’m feeling okay, but whenever i see the update, i bitterly have to admit to them that, ‘this time is too hard for me. i still can not totally undergo.’ and i’m really thankful to them for understanding me and sharing this pain with me. my younger sister is also the factor helping me overcome these recent sorrowful days. although her methods were not too positive or negative, just neutral, she has left for me a lot of questions. she said, ‘recently, since i knew that news, i have only listened to view and she is, my two favorite songs of shinee and him.’ she is the person making me realize i almost forgot to pay a tribute to shinee, and i did that immediately based on her music recommendation. she also said, ‘you still remember the time when i asked you for the lyrics of she is? it says ‘eyes of a vixen.’ you still think he try to indicate key? i still, my sister.’ she still remembers. she once again made me want to cry because of my ultimate one-true-pairing. she knew that couple helped me overcome the hard time when i broke up with my ex-lover for his being a homosexual, leaving a shock for me that day despite myself partly having already supported lgbt+ before and when i found out that my ex-crush is also gay. lastly, but most sorrowfully, she asked me a hard question, ‘sister, if the last album of jonghyun were released one day, would you buy it?’ i became silent. and she continued, ‘if i were you, i would buy it unconditionally.’ i just wanted to hug her tightly for that too hurtful fact. my junior is the third one to express her sympathy to me. she always tried to encourage me. she said she felt touched when she saw my tribute to my ultimate couple and carefully read it until the last line. she said, i really had much love to him, to my couple, to his group. she said, you are often the strong person between us, but if this time is hard for me, she is ready to share the hardships with me. therefore, i have left too many thanks to my dear junior. and the last one is my 11-year close friend. we are totally different in almost all aspects, but we have some things in common, which are that we both love him and ship our ultimate couple. we really had to overcome together, we really had to share the agony immediately whenever we saw each other. she said to me many memories about my fanfiction sharing, about her ever-lasting love to him. she told me to never forget this event, and to tell each other whenever one of us accidentally forget. and though i have experienced the same pain, at least i succeeded in becoming her support to overcome our loss. i am still not totally fine until now. my fellow co-workers clearly see that and still feel sympathetic to me. i relentlessly come to my instagram chatbox with my junior, trying to express my pain of my ultimate couple to her, but i can’t. i did not see my close friend today. my younger sister told me not to say since she knew everything already. i still want to cry, especially when i saw the cartier ring on kibum’s index finger, but i can never do that unlike others. these last farewell below are sorrowful. but i still have to say for myself to officially accept. thank you, my beloved, for always working hard. thank you, my beloved, for becoming a nice memory of my good old days. i’m sorry but i can never speak too emotional words like other shawols. i don’t want to read those continuously on my facebook feed, because i am too scared of them. but dear my beloved, until now, no, until my far future days, my love for you, for my ultimate couple, for your greatest group of your life, will never easily be forgotten from the deepest corner of my heart. now i’m sending this to my real bias in shinee, key or kim kibum. i understand that feeling, my dear kibum, you even proposed to live together forever after ten years of having no lovers six years ago. but now he has gone, your promise is forever unfinished, you had cried a lot for two days right after you came back to seoul. but you still tried to write your letter, to promise to him once again to become stronger. he will be happy for you, i promise. can we together to overcome, to become more stronger with the other in shinee, with shawol? will you promise that with us, kibummie? not only you, but sending this to jinki, minho and taemin too. final words, i want to say that, never neglect or discount depression. it is a scary mental problem, i understand this fact thoroughly since i was almost the victim of being depressed two times. i have considered him as my motivation to overcome through his songs. but now since he passed away, even though i still wonder if his work betrayed my effort in the past, i have to admit that depression is not a thing for people to make fun. to ignore. they really need help. his death is a great lesson for all of us to be aware of this syndrome. i am lucky that i have realized that lesson. his death could only interrupt my way of learning positve thinking for a short time since you evidently know as the time goes, i still have to come back to my reality. moreover, stop spreading untrue rumors related to him or other artists or depression. no one or nothing is the joke here for you. lastly, stop using fallacy to criticize kpop fans by any history event like 1973 ‘dien bien phu-in-air’ victory, dear ‘vietnamese history lovers.’ you are doing nothing working well. at least, i still remember that event from december 18th to 30th in 1972 in hanoi. and i believe there are many fans like me. thank you, my beloved after all. though it needs time to recover, you make us realize too many things. you’ve always worked well and hard, dear my star, now enlightening the night sky with other ones. you will forever in our heart, specially your soulmate’s one, my beloved. 211217, listening continuously to ‘nếu’ (acoustic version) by my anh tran. photo of the last moments in his funeral, kibum’s hand with the cartier ring he bought for kibum’s birthday on september 23rd.

[stephardr]

My 2017 in kpop

I wasn’t going to do this but @liliethriot made me think about it so now I am doing it.

KCON: Reminded me I am the unluckiest fan in the world and despite having bought the second most expensive tickets, all I got was to see Eric Nam’s fan meeting from afar and the back of Bangtan’s head from very very far. At least the few minutes of what we saw of Bangtan on stage during the concert were magical because our seats were the best. The second most impressive stages to me were NCT’s and I had a lot of fun during Eric Nam. The convention was a flop.

BANGTAN: Loves of my life, I’m so glad you’re doing great internationally but ngl, I also hate it. I did feel super proud of them when I got to see them on TV at the Billboard Awards and the AMAs, but I HATED that I had to watch those shows. I hate American media, it’s one of the reasons I got into k-pop at all, to move away from all of that that annoyed me. To find new and different things. And now you have me watching awards shows that I don’t care about and had never watched before, worst of it all is that they last HOURS and I waste all those hours just to see glimpses of them. I’m honestly happy for them because it probably makes them happy, but it also worries me if they feel more pressured, pressured to be different, to overwork themselves even more. The fandom is a mess now. I mean, it’s never been perfect, but I feel like it was slightly less ridiculous before. I just hope this new year I can get over all of this and enjoy Bangtan as much as I used to. I never stopped enjoying them, but all of these new things have definitely put a tiny grey cloud over my enjoyment. I guess I’m too selfish, but truly, I do hope the guys are happy and healthy and still enjoying this thing they chose to dedicate their youth to. (and that bighit doesn’t get too comfortable that they release not so good music/content because the fandom is going to buy it anyway just like i feel sm does with exo sometimes)

EXO: Exordium was really really one of the best concert experiences I’ve had in my life. Our seats were amazing, getting noticed by some of the guys was amazing, the whole thing was amazing. It made me get interested in them again, but sadly that lasted too little. Fortunately, The War was an amazing album and probably my favorite of them all. I will always remember listening to the whole thing for the first time on the train from Busan to Seoul. I was in Seoul during their comeback so I got to buy their album and got a Kyungsoo poster without having to pay for shipping. This time though, their music wasn’t everywhere like the first time I was there. I tried to see them there but I failed. Their fandom still annoys me greatly, which I guess is one of the reasons I now consider myself a casual fan, not a stan. I also don’t have time to be a stan of two groups, so EXO, I’m sorry, but you don’t interest me enough. (I have even lost interest in Kyungsoo :( I suck) I still like you, though.

K.A.R.D’s “concert”: lol.

SEVENTEEN: Trauma is the song of the year. Period.

IN GENERAL: I listened to Really really a lot. From girl groups mostly EXID and Blackpink. Gashina was really good too. I don’t remember what else I enjoyed.

I listened to a lot of Korean hip-hop and indie. Epik High’s new album was amazing. I was surprised at how ugly Source Music’s entrance looked when we were there. It surprises me how these tiny agencies manage to produce their groups and make them big but still can’t afford better installations (because I know nothing about the business) (I guess they have better ones now???). Bighit’s building, the new one, wasn’t that impressive either but at least from the videos, it looks nice on the inside.

Jonghyun's death affected me more than I would have imagined. I wish no one had to go through what he went through to reach that decision. I wish he hadn’t gone through it.

Talking to Lili made me realize I’m not really a huge fan of kpop, I don’t know or understand a lot of things despite having been “in the fandom” for 3 years now. I didn’t even recognize most of the groups at the awards shows. I even grew apart from Tumblr. And I’m perfectly okay with it. I’m glad I only enjoy the music and some random thing I somehow end up watching, but I’m actually glad it doesn’t consume my life, that I’m able to ignore the drama and fandoms most of the time. Even with Bangtan, I don’t spend that much time on them (money, yes x__x). So, yay me, I guess. Luckily I have two friends that keep me informed of important things ;) ;) ;)

At least, I’ve managed to make bangtan be appreciated by some of my now ex-co-workers, with that I feel like an enough good fan (and with all the money I spend, dammit).

I think that’s it.

[btsxlami]

How Kim Namjoon ISNT as problematic as he was before and how he is growing/owning up to his past actions

(dick sclaimer, I am not and NEVER defending his actions in the past, they are not excusable and I am very sorry if I am offending you)

*at the end of the day I’m not forcing you to accept or support Namjoon, if you don’t want to.... I guess “fuck” with him because of his actions in the past thats totally okay 

*also dont feel as if I am biased towards him I’m trying to write this with a open mind, I won’t baby him and be like My POOR BABY AND WENT THRU SO MUCH BLAHDUFU

So lets start off with what  Namjoon did for him to be called problematic:

“Talking black as a talent”

Saying the n-word during Shinhwa’s cover (k but why did no one beef shinhwa tho?)

RM said: “When I first saw V and J-Hope, I couldn’t see them because they were too black.. Yeah when the nights get too dark I couldn’t find them.” (this was in English

Just cultural appropriation of black culture, like having dreads (many of my black friends referred to him as a blackboo

Also I don’t personally like the term “trying to act black” but my black friends said he was basically “a wannabe hoodman”.

His background

Overall I feel as if Namjoon had a little phase where he really was lost in identity (i talk about this more don’t attack me). Like I’m not saying LOL HE WAS HAVING A KPOP PHASE, but as he mentions further on in post he had a really closed minded view on hip hop.That rapping only had one style, one culture, one way to act and speak. When Namjoon first started rapping he had the whole dreadlocks thing going on, kind of showing that he believed you had to black in order to rap, overall he was receiving and interpretating a close minded view on hip hop. I definitely don’t think Namjoon has hateful thoughts against black people. But you can still NOT be racist and culturally appropriate. He was just being oblivious and ignorant that his actions are offensive (I explain this more).

How he learned from his mistakes (so basically the proof section of my rant)

*Acknowledging he had a close minded view on hip hop

Namjoon admits his mistakes, in his mixtape interview: in 2015

Q: You shouted, “Westside Till I Die” during ‘If I Ruled The World’.

RM: That’s well… I was really wrong then (laughter). After the album came out and I listened to it, I thought “Ah”. I think I was immersed in the emotions while recording and ended up shouting like that.

Q: What’s the specific reason why you feel you were wrong?

RM: First off, I didn’t even live in the 'west side’… And even if that song had a G-Funk sound, what I shouted wasn’t the way to respect the west coast hip-hop musicians. I believe there are many meanings inside the words “Westside Till I Die”. Sweat, struggles, pride, etc. Isn’t it a phrase that compressed all these factors of life.

Q: Are you saying that you overlooked the weight and complex undertones that the phrase has within hip-hop?

RM: That’s right. I believe it’s different from words like “Yo!” or “Check It!”. As a result, I was thoughtless.

Q: Are you admitting it to be a mistake?

RM: Further than a mistake, it was a wrong. I have nothing to say.

*honestly this part is really self explanatory. This interview was in 2015 while the song was in 2013. So he was basically justified how in the beginning of his career he was ignorant and oblivious to the real meaning of hip hop. You can definitely see his music grow for the better after this.

*Why I M Y S E L F personally forgave him for this action.

I feel as if this quote doesn't only signify him saying “west side” when he’s not from the west side, but him acknowledging his mistakes of having a close minded view hip hop IN G E N E R AL and being ignorant of “what hip hop is”. He definitely owned up to his actions “ Further than a mistake, it was a wrong.”

He acknowledges them and admitted to them “ First off, I didn’t even live in the 'west side “

and never repeated them ever since. His music now definitely doesn't fit the stereotype of rapping nowadays. Might I suggest watching politically woke MV “CHANGE” he did with black rapper WALE. 

Respecting black culture or hip hop’s origins (THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF HIS MOST OPEN MINDED MOMENTS THIS IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST REASONS I FORGAVE HIM)

I’ve seen many people think Namjoon mocks black culture but this interview really opened up my eyes to many things and how we can learn from our mistakes

In this interview he did in 2015 >> you can really see how compared to the last interview, he seems more confident with what he is saying, he has no hesitation, and CLEARLY states what he feels about hip hop and black culture.

“There are two things that Warren G told me that I will never be able to forget. The first is, hip-hop is open to any one. Despite what your race is or where you’re from, hip-hop is a type of music that is always ready to give you space for anyone who enjoys hip-hop. So, don’t restrain yourself behind any type of prejudiced thought, and the other one was you’re doing well, so no matter what others say, believe in yourself and do what you want.”

This connects to what I mentioned before of Namjoon having a close minded view on hip hop before and thinking hip hop was associated to one certain race. Now he fully understands that hip hop is for everyone. 

“Defining hip-hop is the same as trying to define love. If there are 6 billion people in the world, then there are 6 billion definitions of love, and like that, each definition of hip-hop is different for each person. Of course, it’s possible to give a dictionary definition. In 1970, there was a person called DJ Herc in South Bronx. At a party that he was hosting, he set breaks on a beat and during that break, someone would be rapping, someone would be dancing, and someone else would be doing graffiti… That’s how hip-hop was born, and they call that the 4 elements of hip-hop, but dictionary definitions like these is something anyone knows, but to explain that spirit… In one word, it’s something that can’t be explained. It’s a way that expresses me as well as being a meaning for freedom and rebelling. Because it’s something where people play and have fun with, it can have messages of peace and love placed in it. If you compare it to a Pokemon, it’s like a Ditto. Personally, hip-hop to me is the world. The world that I’m living in… It’s difficult, right? To be honest, it’s still hard for me too.”

He is now owning up to his actions by making his own music about his own life. His own hip hop.

“The culture of shooting guns and doing drugs is not the actual self of hip-hop. It’s just become a by-product that appeared around hip-hop music, it’s not the actual self of hip-hop. Although there’s a certain image that pops up clearly when you think of hip-hop fashion, that’s also becoming something that’s more broad. Look at A$AP Rocky or Kanye West. They don’t wear pants that drag around any more. To understand ‘swag’, you need to understand what kind of meaning ‘making it on your own’ has in hip-hop. Making it on your own is a very cool and important concept in hip-hop. I’ll use Jay-Z as an example. Jay-Z was a drug dealer. He’s someone that sold drugs on the rooftop of a very large stadium called Barclays Center, but he succeeded and bought that building. After buying that building, he dressed up in hip-hop and then went up to the rooftop and looked down at that building. Then they took a picture of that and posted it. After seeing that, everyone died. Kya… Just how cool is that?”

Namjoon acknowledges that there are many stereotypes associated with hip hop and also a “culture” to it. But he should try to do his own thing and not generalize.

Namjoon’s personal apologies

Personally I noticed especially for bighit, when it comes to western fans that seem to have a problem with what BTS is doing they never allow their idols to apologize. I’ve seen Namjoon apologizing facing korean fan based controversies.

The two interviews were already big indicators of how Namjoon grew from a close minded hip hop enthusiast to his own rapper and artist, but I found one v live where he personally talked about his actions as a general. He wasnt as specific but it was short and sweet kinda XD. 

Long story short he mentions how he apologizes if his action ever offended anyone and that he was oblivious that what he could say or do could cause others harm (relate to this man) and finally how he needs to hold responsibility and think before he acts and speaks.

Overall I am saying that Namjoon isnt an idol who made the best decisions in his life but he definitely should not be viewed as someone who is evil but at the same time I don’t view  him as someone who is a wOKE KING!212 Mistakes are mistakes but its how you own up to them which ultimately says how you are as a person.

He is human after all and instead of degrading him I simply just recognized his growth and willingness to learn and that was enough for me.

[fangurlingx]

My BTS Journey

(2014) Philippines I heard about BTS when I was in highschool, 2014 and because my ex-bestfriend was into EXO, I often teased her about BTS an Idol group that's rising. At that time, I was only into girl groups, my bestfriend told me about EXO and I even checked them out. They had really catchy songs so I liked some of them but I was so close minded before that I didn't like guys putting makeup on(sorry for being an ignorant). I didn't really fangirl that much with boy groups' visuals but I knew some kpop boy group songs(except for BTS' songs).😭 So I didn't really check BTS at that time. (Which I'm really regretting now)💔 Also, I was a huge SONE when I was in Elementary, in the year 2012. I love all of SNSD's songs btw.💕 I was the only one in class that loves them so I was often criticized by my classmates for fangirling over kpop idols saying 'they all did plastic surgery', 'they are ugly in person', 'they are too skinny' and many more. (2015) Philippines(Jan-Aug) and London(Sep-now) Then after a year, my aunt bought a TV with cable channels so I tried searching for a certain channel with a kpop live music show(coz I love SNSD, I was hoping they'll be on a music show). When I found it, there were groups that performed. Then I saw an unusual group(BTS) receiving an award. After they've received the award, they were putting lipstick on to each other which I found very amusing and funny at the same time there there was this one guy(Kim Taehyung) who had smudged lipstick all over his lips but still was putting lipstick properly even tho it has spread in the outer area of his lips(I got so confused at that time and I found them really funny and silly for applying lipstick live on a music show, it was my first time seeing that kind of reaction after receiving an award). I got curious on the group so I searched them on google, I searched 'kpop group putting lipstick in an award show'. Then their name showed up. Then I clicked on the video and found out about V. I don't know but at that time I only liked V and nobody else on the group(I hate myself). I checked their MVs but at that time I wasn't into hard hip hop like Boy in Luv or No More Dream so I didn't really liked them as a whole (I hate myself even more now). So to conclude my 2014-2015 discovery of BTS, I only stanned one person and it was V. I even posted pictures of him on instagram. (2016-present: London) Then, at the year 2016-present, I checked on the group even more. I was introduced to BTS again as a whole by my new found friends here in London(Ruksana and Aria). Ruksana showed me videos of them that shows their personal sides (Video compilations: funny, sexy and more). Then when I went home, I started watching more. I checked their 'Fire' MV but still I didn't really enjoyed it (I hate myself again) because I was into sad songs at that time. Then I checked more of their songs such as the slower or more RNB like songs. 2016, at that time I was still into V but I was starting to get to know the other members. I learned all their names in one day. When I was listening to more of their songs, when I was on a bus, I put my earphones on and started distinguishing their voices. Then I started watching more Youtube videos, and concerts. I'm always having atleast 4 hrs of sleep because in the middle of the night, I was watching BTS related videos. I followed them on every social media accounts. I bought an Album for the first time: Wings. I got so obsessed and until now I'm still obsessed. Although, I can't buy more of BTS' related merch, CDs, and DVDs because I'm not yet earning anything yet, I vote, stream and I am up to date to everything they are doing. Now that I'm already deep into BTS, I always think of not having a bias coz in BTS, every single one of them is a bias wrecker and every day, they wouldn't let me have 1 bias. I love every single one of them. It's fun being a fan, being an ARMY, you experience every emotions everyday. Kim Namjoon kim Seokjin Min Yoongi Jung Hoseok Park Jimin Kim Taehyung Jeon Jungkook Bangtan! ..... ..... I usually fangirl easily but then I fangirl for only a short time, I get bored easily that's why but with BTS, I think I'm going to fangirl for a very long time. The only idol that I've been fangirling until now aside from BTS is Sarah Geronimo that is because she is almost the same as BTS (for me) as she is really different on and off the stage. I've been a fangirl since I was introduced to the world of entertainment and TV so I think when I was 8-10, I'm not sure coz I just woke up one day knowing I'm a hardcore fangirl of her. Also both BTS and Sarah are very humble and down to earth, they know where they came from and how they struggle, that is the biggest factor on why I stan both artists. I love BTS! I love Sarah Geronimo! I am an ARMY! I am a Popster. 💜💗💘

[choisgirls]

Hiya! ^^ I would like to request hc's about an MC who is a kpop star or part of a group. I imagine they'd all be super surprised to see them at the party! I hope you both are well, and you don't have to do my ask if you wouldn't like to! Oh sorry, I'm starting to ramble again aren't I? Hahaaaa;;;

A/N: IM SO READY FOR THIS,FUCK ME UP (and dont worry i ramble a lot, I don’t think you were rambling sweetheart

*YOOSUNG:

           -He’s a big big fan of kpop

           -Follows all the popular groups and stars almostreligiously

           -So when you (or Saeyoung) tell the group what your nameis, he’s hYPED

           -“YOU SHARE THE SAME NAME AS THE POPULAR ARTISTMC!!!!”

           -You just couldn’t tell him right off the bat that yes,you were that person

           -You decided to surprise him at the party instead!

           -Because nothing is cooler than finding out you’re datingan idol of yours, right???

           -So when he sees you at the party he actually squealslike a little kid because WOW YOU’RE THERE AND YOU’RE AMAZING

           -“YOU KNOW MY S/O HAS THE SAME NAME AS YOU”“Yoosung it is me, I’m MC, I’m your s/o”

           -Poor baby faints right then and there. From then on he’sjust always so in awe every time he looks at you. Always telling his friendsabout you; “Hey did you know i’m dating-” “YES YOOSUNG, YOU’REDATING MC. THE MC. YES YOU LOVE THEM.YES THEY LOVE YOU. WE GET IT”

*ZEN:

           -Yeah he’s heard all the popular groups and stars

           -Has a ton of respect for them all

           -After all, he is a music man himself musicals aredifferent than pop music though zen

           -He’s also a firm believer of “He can date whoeverhe wants, famous or not”

           -When he’s down in the dumps and you come over to hishouse to cheer him up he’s really surprised

           -Why is there a famous star on my doorstep?? What do theywant?? Are they here to say bad things about me too? whaT IS HAPPENING

           -You have to quickly calm him down and explain that no,you’re just MC and you’re here to cheer him up

           -He’s so confused and stays like that for a solid hour.He talks to you and he’s excited and all but he just…. cannot process thatthe MC he’s developed strong feelings for is also the famous star MC

           -You’re waiting for him at his home while he brings backsome snacks for the two of you and he bursts through his own front door

           -“HOLY SHIT YOU’RE MC. THE KPOP STAR MC. YOU’REFAMOUS. YOU UNDERSTAND THE STRUGGLES. WAIT A MINUTE-” zen stop yelling,please

*JAEHEE:

           -The moment she knew your name, she was suspicious

           -Isn’t one for blindly believing something

           -So she thought it was merely a coincidence that youshared the name of a famous star

           -Except when she saw you in person at the party

           -She kept asking around to make sure that she was seeingyou correctly

           -Not to mention she never remembered anyone mentioningthe invitation of a famous kpop star???

           -“Jaehee, it’s me. MC. I helped organize the party,I didn’t realize I had to put myself on the list”

           -You helped whAT

           -Then and there is the moment she realized that your namewasn’t a coincidence and that she had asked planned on asking a famous kpopstar to be her partner in opening a coffee shop

           -But she doesn’t treat you any differently, not at all.She just kind of fangirls in silence (until you catch her later at the party)

*JUMIN:

           -“Are you part of that famous group that’s all overthe radio all the time?”

           -I guess that’s one way of greeting me, Jumin

           -When he saw you in person it just solidified hisassumptions

           -Doesn’t treat you any different than he would havebefore, because you’re still you

           -You just happen to have a title as well. That doesn’tchange who you are inside, ya know, the part he loves

           -But, the fact that you’re famous and you have no bodyguards concerns him to all hell??

           -That day on you’re surrounded by more body guards thanyou can even see

           -He actually admits to not hearing any of your work andyou just sit there in awe

           -“Jumin do you live under a rock?” “Don’tbe ridiculous, I live up here in my penthouse”

           -He actually buys all your albums and anything you’veever made later that day. Falls in love with your music and he’s so cute likehe wears your merch when the two of you are relaxing at home

*SAEYOUNG:

           -Knew from the background check, there’s no be reveal foryou this time MC

           -Though he was REALLY REALLY excited that you’re thefamous kpop star because he loves your music

           -Actually seen you live before which makes meeting you10x more exciting

           -He throws in lyrics to your songs to try and let youknow that “hey, mc, i know who you are but im keeping it a secret fromeveryone else”

           -HYPED AS HELL! The person he fell in love with is alsothe celebrity he had the biggest crush on

           -But that also scares the hell out of him because of hisjob??? He’s supposed to be in the shadows??? How would this even work out?

           -Despite it all, he still came to the apartment toprotect you

           -You expected a big “wow i can’t believe itsyou” but instead you just got ignored and you’re just left there kindalike???? dude???

           -But when the two of you head out to Mint Eyeheadquarters, your music started to blare in his car and he couldn’t turn itdown fast enough

           -EMBARRASSED AS ALL HELL, he’s as red as his hair andfinally admits that you’re his favourite recording artist and has been foryears. Even admits that he’s the owner of your fanclub fucking dORK

*V:

           - can he even see you

           - im sorRY I HAD TO THROW THAT IN JUST FOR 626

           -Really really surprised to see that you’re the famous MC

           -Actually enjoys your music a lot and has photographedyou at a few of your shows

           -Never sold the pictures though because those arepersonal to him what a fanboy

           -He feels TERRIBLE that you got caught up in all of this,he doesn’t think you deserve the trouble at all

           -When he meets you in person, the first thing he does isapologize profusely

           -After a very long time, and the two of you end uptogether, he didn’t even realize that one day he wore a t-shirt of yours untilyou pointed it out

           -Immediately starts to stutter and turn bright red. Thegig was up so he decided to show you some of those pictures he’s taken as well

           -He’s your favourite photographer at every show from thenon and he’s loving the hell out of it

*SAERAN:

           -Also knew from the beginning

           -He’s not into kpop, he’s into some harder music, forgetthat MC

           - somebody’s being a LLLIIIAAAAAARRRRR

           -After a while, when the two of you get close, you catchhim listening to a few of your songs

           -You never say anything though because if you catch him,he gets embarrassed and just walks out of the room

           -Hates publicity (or the public population in general,take your pick) so he avoids it at all cost

           -But he does think it’s pretty cool that you’ve createdmusic, like he wishes he could do something like that

           -Protects you from his fanboy of a brother who’s alwayshanging all over you

           - calm down saeran it’s in an idol-appreciation way

           -Literally does not care if you’re famous or not. He hasno more fucks to give. None I tell you, none

[saraimt]

Hi! Thank you for answering all my questions! I’m a lot lol

Follow up conversation:

So you do watch different variety shows at a time, which is cool, but also obviously with comebacks it equals more variety/promotion so there’s more content to consume. That seems totally fair and doable. Do you mind me asking how old you are? Just like for reference as to what your day might look like. You can also COMPLETELY IGNORE that question if you’re not comfortable with it. 

WOW my dude, that is amazing. I feel like adhd makes me hyperfocus on things so I’ll consume a TON of media and then delete it from my brain lol Or if I know that I like something, I sometimes put off watching it because I know that it’s going to take up space in my mind, and I don’t have the time for it or the energy. EVEN IF I LOVE IT, which might be a me problem. SuperM: I liked One as the title track, because 100 was awful lol. 

I too am a sucker for variety shows though! Like, I’m really enjoying MTopia with Super M, or OMG It’s Awkward but It’s Okay was one of the best things to happen to NCT this year, imo. All the Dream variety things are what reminded me of SHINee though, like how savage they are to each other (in a brotherhood kind of way), so that made me want to stan them. 

OOOH awesome, so you build your collection as you go. That makes so much sense. Luckily, now, there are so many places that you can order from or buy in person, which is such a change from when I got into kpop in 2012. Like, I remember ordering things and waiting weeks to months for it to come in the mail, only for it to show up damaged. HOW BIG IS YOUR COLLECTION?

Wow, so you also create content, that’s cool! Do you create for all of your groups? Or just depending on what you’re watching? I assume the latter. 

OOOh that’s awesome. So your primary source of like “fandom” is tumblr. Very cool. I also do not use twitter, like I just never got the hang of it. A part of me wants to be on there, especially since a lot of shawols are on twitter, but I don’t. I think the only accounts I have for fandom stuff are tumblr and kind of tik tok. 

OMG you have so many biases. That’s so cool. I love that you say that they are your adopted sons. That’s how I feel about literally anyone born after 1994. NCT? Babies. lol AND I LOVE HEECHUL! I’m so glad we moved away from the whole “Heechul is a diva” discorse and acknowledge that he is only amazing. 

YES Deja Vu is so good, just the incorporation of all the Dream songs was so nice, especially with it being a reuinion song for ot7. The first time I heard Make A Wish I was like, idk if I love it or hate it, and now I keep replaying it lmao. I actually loved the album as a whole, I think because of how diverse it was. Volcano? Iconic. Boss 2.0 lol 

Sorry, this is ridiculously long lol

They are all my adopted sons. lol I have like... phases you can call it. Early this year I was full on SUJU, then it changed to ONEUS (comeback), then I got into N.FLYING (that was a whole different kind of phase, very chaotic) and then ONEWE had their comeback and now it's NCT baby all the way. I love watching variety shows and I re-watch some shows regularly. maybe I'm just bored and lonely lol I actively collect all sm groups, ONEUS and ONEWE, and I would love to have some nflying mech as well. Biggest part of my collection is probably suju at this point, followed closely by shinee :)

Okay, awesome. This makes some sense to me, but also caused a whole lot more questions lol. So you don’t focus on them all at once? And do you like consume their media depending on who you’re into at the time? So this might get long:

So do you purchase things even though you’re not currently “focusing” on them? Since you know that you like them? Or when you got into them did you buy what they had put out in the past?

Also, how involved are you in their fandoms? and where do you consume your media? Like I get watching stuff on YouTube or whatever, but do you also follow blogs for each of the groups? Or do you have separate blogs? Or are you a twitter or instagram person? That’s just so fascinating. Like, I am a fan of multiple groups, but actively stan-ing is a whole other ball game I think.

You can also disregard me completely lol I am just wondering if like, how you experience the interest. AND! Biases? I assume one from each group lol but who is your ult?

Also, I love NCT right now too. Which song is your favorite on Resonance?