#ignore me i am fine 3< /div>
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Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 1: Make It Sapphic AU
#once again we are ignoring the fact that it is not technically still day 1 where I live#look i am only like 30 minutes off so it's fine.#it's still day 1 in 3/4 of the US so we're fine#anyways here's sapphic Holloween because we all deserve a little bit of that in our lives#Inspired by the incredibly talented Snarky-wallflower#if you are reading this you simply must go check her out#she's an amazing author and a rad person so there are no downsides in lookin her up#but yeah that's crazy i finished two drawings in one day whoa#like i said i've got events back to back to back to back right now#so i've got another drawing to work on for tomorrow#but i'm not doing every day for this one#i've got art fight to prepare for as well#and work stuff to work on#fun fact: the most abundant mineral in the earth's mantle is Olivine#which is this beautiful green color#and even though it is so common#i do not have it in my collection smh#gotta get me some of that#did you know that i love rocks and minerals#i think i will start doing more rock facts because i've got plenty of those#hatchetfield femslash fortnight#holloweane#holloduke#miss holloway#duke keane#butch!duke keane#hatchetfield#nightmare time#nightmare time 2#kim whalen
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zane + nya parallels
#alek gifs#ninjago#zane julien#nya smith#that's enough main tags for me#i had to MURDERRR the quality on these sorry for ugliness#also for those confused on why i picked these :#gif 1 “what are they doing” followed by gif 2 which is wu's response.#gif 3 is the funeral and gif 4 is what people did to honor that sacrifice. zane statue and 'nya day'#a lot of these differences are because of the writers / animation studio#i am not power scaling their funerals based on attendance#which is. hilarious concept wise actually#braincellshipping#can be taken as such . wink#something about zane and nya and ice and water and how without one the other cannot function the same#zane going to the digiverse / rebuilding himself. nya going to the sea and having to rediscover who she really is#the way nya saw zane die. like legitimately she was on the rooftop (with pix and borg but yknow)#the way zane's ice was what held nya's form together in s15. oh guys im crazy#they have a lot of trust thats kinda. looked over. she did all of his repairs!! he was fine with her poking around his mind and body#which means a lot bc zane is a very closed off guy. 'i dont feel strong emotions but you can see my every thought nya c: '#also victims of the 'written as hating being seen as one thing... and thing ens up written as just that one thing' ninjago writers issue#zane w robotism. nya with being a girl / jay's girl. oh goodness im cuckoo#ignore how inconsistent the text sizes are i threw this together at 6 am and im NOT feeling it#i forgot how much gif making sucked#oops#rant over
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i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.
#3 am queer discourse take <3#anyways hot take number two. cishets do belong at pride. everyone who wants to celebrate queerness should be welcomed at pride#if a completely cishet business major fratboy wants to come to pride and vibe with us then he should be welcomed!#not even like. oh he has a queer sibling. no. if he's just a cishet dude who wants to spend his saturday at a parade then hell yeah#like completely ignoring that you have no way to tell he's definitively those things. it shouldn't matter regardless imo#pride is not a secretive club you need to be let into. it's a feeling and a celebration and a statement and a state of being#and whatever you want it to be#burying my other related hot take under the tags readmore ksdjksdjksdj#idk. i'm just tired of a lot of the things people seem to think about bisexuality's validity relating to bi women specifically#this is frustration with the gatekeepy and straight-passing discourse of it all#I'm tired of people being expected to act and to preform and to BE queer enough for others' opinions.#am I still welcome if I haven't been with a woman in a few years? if I dress boring? if I like m/f? if I don't listen to chappell roan?#joking on that last one but like. idk. never straight enough for the straights but never gay enough for the gays#constantly some mercurial in-between that offers no comfortable easy group to put us in.#what do i have to do to not be judged as a filthy hettie? are my doc martens enough for you yet?#like oh sorry let me cuff my jeans and have a bob and wear a button up over a cami and wear etsy earrings. am I visually bi enough yet?#let me apologize for the cardinal sin of liking men too. let me wash my hands of any time a cishet man has held them.#if it was a bisexual man then just hand sanitizer is fine right? where do you draw the line on my queerness?#let me preform for you in a way that makes me queer enough.#anyways. sarcasm aside. I think I've made my distaste for this whole affair evident#if you don't want cishets at pride then what happens to those you incorrectly deem as cishet? do I need to prove myself to you?#am I passing as straight? am I passing as gay? am I enough for onlookers?#is it not enough to just show up at pride and celebrate? anyone and everyone who wants to?
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what are your favourite batcest ships and why?
AAA i love this question so much. i'm going to limit myself to a top five, because otherwise, i'd just end up listing all of them. the true joy of batcest is they're all so good for such different reasons and there are so many unique dynamics you can explore.
JayTim - it's funny bc, before i started this blog, i don't know if i would've put these two losers as my number one. but because i've done so much deep diving into their dynamic and i write them the most, i think it'd be a disservice for them to be anything *but* number one. their canon dynamic is just. so fun to play with. i truly love all of their interactions, particularly pre-Flashpoint. the concepts of Tim holding such contempt for Jason while Jason is weirdly obsessed with Tim. i'm a fan of Hannibal and Killing Eve and well. if this isn't a Hannigram-coded ship idk *what* is. i like ships where love and hate co-exist and there's no real "happily ever after", just fucked up co-existing, where they crawl back to each other like a bad habit and really, this ship is that so perfectly. the themes of jealousy in the Robin mantle. Tim wearing Jason's Red Robin suit to punish himself. i will likely never shut up about them. even in the New-52, there's such a substance to them, though the dynamic is wildly different. they will always be so weirdly dependent on each other's existence. i love them.
BruDick - you can't outdo the doer, i fear. i think i like BruDick mostly for the history of it, yk. there's genuinely *so much* queer history seeped into the homoeroticism of Batman and Robin, these two have been a symbol for queer people for decades. but the ship itself has so many dynamics i love. problematic age gap, "are we family or lovers", "i can't be in a room alone with you without getting into a screaming match but if you called i drop everything for you". all of it. i especially favor 80s/90s BruDick when they were in their divorce era just because it's so messy. Dick has canonically said he would die for Bruce, even during their arguments. no matter what, these two will always be single-mindedly devoted to each other. there will be other Robins, but none of them will compare to Dick Grayson, for Bruce. it's a unique and complicated bond that has endless layers to peel back. they always crawl back to each other bc no one else will match their level of intensity.
DamiTim - years and years ago, when i was a teen trying to people-please with how i existed in fandom, i used to insist i didn't like batcest and found it icky and gross. but there was one DamiTim fic that was my exception. that fic was my fucking roman empire. i reread it like once a year even though it's not completed and likely never will be i do not care. so now that i've killed the morality police in my head and i let myself ship what i actually want to ship, this ship holds a top place in my heart just bc of that fic alone. but in general i do fucking love their dynamic. similar to JayTim there's just so much mutual hatred in these two that has endless potential. Damian's insistence to not see Tim as a Wayne and as a legitimate brother/heir to Bruce is something you can play a lot if you give Damian an angry, fucked up crush on Tim he doesn't want to admit to. they have so many reasons to dislike each other, so to try to get them to slowly fall in love is a fun challenge. they either have a long complicated forgiveness arc and end up a happy married couple or they are the couple that tries to kill each other once a week. no in-between.
JeanTim - there's like. one person here on tumblr who goes as hard for this ship as i do and truly god bless them bc they feed me. Jean-Paul is too underrated in the batcest scene. once i reread Knightfall, i will have to help popular this tag on ao3. i enjoy both a very fucked up version of this ship during the peak of the Knightfall arc, where Jean-Paul is deep in his murder Batman era and Tim is trying to stop him to no real avail, but i *also* think there's so much you can do with the ship afterwards, where Jean-Paul is trying to make up for what he's done and be a better person and better hero. they're the peak Batman/Robin ship, to me. they truly care about each other, but have a very complicated/bloody history and i just. man i love it so dearly. i've been meaning to write a fic where Jean-Paul goes to Tim post the Sword of Azrael (2022) arc to properly discuss and apologize for all his actions in Knightfall for his personal healing and they end up fucking. it could be sweet and cute or kinky fun bc what is the joy of a character with that much Catholic guilt if you don't give them a weird religious kink.
BruCarrie - The Dark Knight Returns got me into comics and i will defend it till the day i die. Carrie Kelley can be pried from my cold dead hands. i just really love these two? Carrie took one look at that cranky old bastard and decided she was his problem. and Bruce is at a stage where he should be very averse to the idea of having a Robin, he knows it's a bad idea. but he just. accepts her anyway. idk how to explain their dynamic other than she plunks herself in his lap and stitches up his wounds while telling him he's an idiot and he lets her even if he's grumbling about it. they have the biggest age gap of any Batman/Robin ship and for that, they should get like. a dead dove gold star no matter how rare the pair is.
also honorable mention goes to BruTim, because *god* do i love the concept of Tim offering himself up to Bruce as Robin in every way, knowing that there are likely sexual/romantic implications to being Robin. it's one of my favorite flavors of batcest to exist. i don't view them as a "happily ever after" ship, because Bruce will always go back home to Dick, but it's a fun lil dead dove moment.
#necrotic answerings#batcest#jaytim#brudick#damitim#jeantim#brucarrie#brutim#can you tell tim is my favorite.#i just think he's neat.#it's probably the projection.#also i checked while writing this and wtf do you mean brucarrie has only 3 fics on ao3.#did i hallucinate the one i thought i read.#i think i fucking did bc i can't find it.#apparently it's not a rarepair ship it's a goddamn pool noodle i'm floating off through the ocean hanging on for dear life#if i write brucarrie on this page can i convince you all to ship it.#i know frank miller's writing is bad just ignore the canon it's fine#tkdr universe isn't *good* per se#but carrie is a darling girl and i will emancipate her from frank miller's grubby hands. she's mine now.#genuinely considering changing my banner on this blog to carrie but it'd ruin my color scheme.#jeantim is also very unpopular and none of you are inspired /lh#you can make that SO dead dove.#i barely remember most of knightfall i rlly need to reread it properly#and the rest of jean-paul's 90s content#i am so serious tho that damitim fic rewired my brain chemistry.#i think about it like once a week.#and i usually dislike no capes aus i can't even remember why i read it at the time#but god did it reset me.
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Girl, help, the book authors are trying too hard to be "hip" with the fleeting "teen lingo" and trends again, immediately dating their works before they're even released
#eye twitching seeing certain modern slang in for real published books unironically#tiktokian slang that is out of date within weeks#it's a pet peeve of mine but so is modern books mentioning tiktok or stuff at all esp. when not relevant in general#god it pulls you out of the illusion#turns it into this very set in stone time frame rather than letting it just be or resonate on its own which is fine sometimes if natural#you can't avoid some mentions of some things when setting it today but in these cases it's so forced#hello fellow kidz.jpeg vibe in book form#books#this isn't even specific to ya books i've seen it in adult books as well#booklr#petty as i am i once stopped reading a first chapter excerpt for mentioning spotify by name on page 1 i'm sorry#this other book though oh they've used online phrases and boomer insult 3 times and brought up tiktok twice it's on thin f-ing ice#ignore me i'm petty but don't ignore me because this is a legit problem in the media industry#don't even get me started on text speak in the dialogue or texting sections yeah#it's not quite as bad if it's some fake variation of an app or just generic about being online but mentioning by name oh i'm gonna explode#most times anyway#i have yet to see it handled well#this was about slang though so tangent but !! gaah
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Hmm I apologize again for the rant !
It is not the first time I am doing it. I might forgot to put "please don't tag it as ship" under my drawing of tighnari cyno. Please, do not !
I love them as best friend, I love them as brother/found family, I don't mind the queerplatonic relationship at all
But their romantic side make me pretty uncomfortable. No hate ! It is my own taste.
Shippers are always welcomed and I am so glad you like my content 💕 but all my art concerning them (unless I tag the ship) are purely platonic. I just ask for some respect of my taste and not reblog my art with the ship tag.
I don't want to block, because I am genuinely glad you enjoy my work and as a young artist, it means a lot for me. Thank you so much 🙇 !! But as a human, I can't deny how uneasy it makes me feel.
Thank you for understanding !
#rant#I blame nobody#i am clearly not used to block ): I should tho but I know those who tag ship are not mean at all </3#it is fine if you don't know.#but i saw people reblogging my art with shiptag even if i said “do not”#my art is like my only safe place please respect it#this ship is so popular and I clearly stop to interact with the fandom because of that#i clearly ignore when I saw one in my timeline /dashboard becausz I can't do nothinf against it except masking the account#but I beg you. not. under. my. post.#not in my DM#why i feel obligated to justify myself 😭#but yeah !!! the ship is valid and full of greenflag !! wholesome !!#but I only enjoy them platonically !!! please respect 😭😭😭 I SWEAR I AM DESESPERATE WHY IT IS SO HARD FOR SOME TO RESPECT THAT OMG#gosh on twitter someone said me “ignore ??? what did you expect ??? it is the most popular ship”#I AM TRYING I AM LITERALLY NOT SEARCHING FOR FANART 😀#feeding myself with my own food#that's why I am so grateful for people who support me. thank you. 😭#and how could I ignore a comment under my post ??? interaction are so important for me I read everything#ANYWAY SORRY FOR RANTING !!! IT IS CLEARLY A /NOTMEAN POST !!!#next time I won't forgrt “do not tag it as ship”#but urgh if I do this I have to do in every post ???? 🤨#and what if I draw tighnari cyno kaveh but I don't mind ship with kaveh ??? 🤨🤨🤨 (plz still don't)#tHERE IS PLENTY OF CYN0N4RI ACCOUNT IF YOU WISH TO SEE MORE CONTENT OF THEM !! Please support them <<3 mine are platonic !#but clearly. imagine you are obsessive about two characters <<3#but their popular ship is the one who make you the most uncomfy 😀#so you decided to just stop looking at fanart and not bothering anyone 👍👍#but it came under your post and your DM 😟#AAA SORRY I AM SALTY I SWEAR I AM NOT USED TO FEEL LIKE THIS ):<#anyway plz take care ilove you mwah 🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕
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can someone nice (!!) please please please adopt me im begging you im requesting you (huge word vomit and vent in tags, pls dont read if u dont want to!! and if you don't want this stuff on this blog PLS lmk!! i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy! )
#tw vent#yes ik i have a vent blog#but idk why i dont wanna go there#ill prolly delete this in a while + if i vent here (which ill try not to) ill always tag it#but if any of yall aren't fine with it pls do lmk!!! ill stop <3#Anyways.#fucking hell i hate this.#dude#i very specifically told them to hurry the fuck up THEY were the ones making us late#i have told them a hundred times the minimum time i jeed to get ready#i told them this morning too that you guys make us late then put it all on me#nad she went like oh no dear dont worry that wont happen#WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH#and like the lecture and huge ass scolding and then cold shouldet ive been getting from BOTH of them before i left for coachinh#im just tired atp#idk its not even that big a deal this happens everyday#i dont know how to feel#idk if im even rly feeling anything atp#its just that i really fucking hate being here#I wanna get the fuck out#but thing is this makes me feel kinda guilty occasionally#for eg a few days ago i was rly sick and she took care of me kinda#and then that made me feel bad for hating her#but then things like this happen and i cant help it and i feel so conflicted#i dont want to stay here i know that for sure but i feel guilty for it#if i speak im being rude and backtalking#if i dont speak im being rude and ignoring#the fuck am i supposed to do????#she always tells me to 'stay silent and just hear it'#and when i do that she keeps shouting again and again and finally i say smth bc although its extremely fucking dumb of me to open my mouth
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I don't understand how gow youtubers that post these “whAt iS gOiNg to HaPpEn iN tHe NexT gAmE???” vids just completely ignore Atreus. They are even more in denial about Kratos stepping down from the mc role than me about Heimdall kicking the bucket, it’s crazy. That one guy deadass went “Well maybe Atreus will die and that will lead to Kratos going to another pantheon” MISS MA’AM ATREUS HAS BEEN SET UP TO GO ON THE JOURNEY TO A DIFFERENT LAND WHILE KRATOS IS HELPING SETTLE THE MATTERS IN THE 9 REALMS??
#bros still expect gow 3 type shit in 2026 smh#its not just me right Atreus is supposed to take over the mc role thats why he left - we're gonna be following his adventures next#why are they ignoring him???????#it makes me feel like a wife in a horror movie who's being told that everything is fine#god of war#god of war ragnarok#gow#atreus#angrboda#heimdall#honestly if atreus fucking dies (WHICH HE WON'T) i hope angrboda takes over the mc role just to spite these ppl#she deserves it and she would be 100% very fun to play as#and while im at it#angrboda is the best companion in ragnarok simply bc her moveset is the prettiest#whoever says othervise and mentions status effects stuns and other shit is wrong#aesthetics will always be most important#stop talking back you know im right#yes i am using pretty screenshots for rants again
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hiii i wrote this way way back after 5x10 aired from buck's perspective and finally got around to making a little demo that i don't hate :') lyrics under the cut!
lyrics:
your blood on my face splattered like rain on the sidewalk your hand reaching out lips trying to form the shape of my name
i could see it right then the shape of my life without you i knew i would hate it more than anything
ten years ago bloody bruised cheek on the pavement ears ringing out i’ve never felt so alone
five years ago driving across a new state line every four months like my body knew it needed to be where you are
you built me a home here i let you touch me in places that nobody else would dare to
you built me into your life behind my back just in time to take your exit what am i supposed to do with that?
your blood in my mouth stuck to my gums like molasses i still taste your death when i jolt awake at night, covered in sweat
and i still feel the rain fall like bullets the night that i tried to dig you out i swear i will dig us out of here and we’ll be alright
you gave me a home here i let you save me in ways i thought nobody would ever care to
you wrote me into your life then turned your back you know i would never reject it but would it kill you to ask?
in the doorway, waiting by phone just out of reach, just shy of alone but you know me, i’ll never leave you can’t hit the ground if you never let go
so i’ll take this, i’ll lap up this scraps i’ll fake fulfillment until i collapse and you know me, heart on my sleeve i swear i’ve been screaming, “please don’t leave”
guess you didn’t hear that
you built me a home here i let you touch me
you built me into your life behind my back just in time to take your exit what am i supposed to do with that?
#ignore my voice pls i am so sick but i rly felt inspired to record this so#but i can hear my congestion and i hate it khjsdh its fine#also im not a producer pls im literally just clicking buttons in logic and hoping for the best#so basically go easy on me </3#but anyways enjoy!!!!!!!!#this has been in my notes app for like two years so excited to finally share it with yall#abby is making#911#buddie
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u know what, i'm not fighting the mental illness anymore
#am i juggling more than three blogs now. yes#am i returning to two more blogs? also yes#does my multi continued to be ignored? yes <3#HAHAHA. im fine#part of me is like i really should utilize my multi more bc they will end up going back but like ............... ok#ive been rereading the manga and trying to catch up for the past three years and im determined to . actuall do that now <3#chuuya's novels im def rereading as well bc it ruined me actually#gin stays on the multi <3#this is about bsd i forget nobody can read my mind
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loveeee being a chronic overthinker and labeler for everything but physical health. could write essays on my brain but if I had to describe my heart issue I’d be like idk man it feels like it’s not working right. shoot me where i stand id give you a better answer.
#lee’s bullshit#loveeeee just casually sitting then feeling like my heart is racing like calm down we’re doing nothing babe#like how do you be like ‘oh I think it’s beating wrong’ to a doctor be so serious.#idk what the issue is I just want it to stop happening. it’s probably a covid thing but idk my mom def won’t believe me#as is usual for health issues. so anyway#going to go to bed now. hopefully my heart continues to work in my sleep.#<— ignore this I am just venting my considerable anxiety abt my heart stopping I will probably be fine. good night <3
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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rank #3 wanderer on akasha woo ^_^
#.txt#WHEN WILL HE RERUN SO I CAN GET HIS WEAPON PLS IM IN AGONY ignore the ugly lost prayers its fine it doesnt matter kindly avert ur eyes i wi#will remedy it expeditiously trust me#hahaha sighhhh#regardless tho i am very happy w this accomplishment and i will not stop here i WILL make him PERFECT just u fucking wait >:3
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JUST FINISHED LISTENING TO BLOOD IN THE BAYOU AND
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE
FUCK
#screaming crying sobbing on the floor#absolutely fucking Devastated#all i know is Pain fucking Hell#jrwi bitb#blood in the bayou#crying so hard actually#I am supposed to go do a presentation for a class in 30 minutes fml#i Will be Fine#just give me 3-5 business days to recover#love these guys thank you for such brillian story telling#notebook entries#ignore any typos i am writing thru tears <3
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how does one become available again (made myself emotionally unavailable and got caught up in work and school)
#i have not spoken to my closest friends in days#del.txt#but i feel fine! i just fear nobody else is satisfied#ah yes. where’s the one post i made last summer w this exact tagline#seasons change but people (i) do not </3#what does it mean that i am fine to go on with my workload and the fact that others see it as a flaw makes me defensive#like they r right. alas#i need to get good at Human Connection again 👍#being deeply avoidant at my core versus knowing i am a good person#but i am hurting my loved ones by not being present aaaaa#feeling: bad#when i am reminded that the way i have carried on for years is not generally healthy and that i have to fix it#and my texts r building up and i love everyone so much but i simply Cannot#everything ever is so stressful i just want to relax when i'm not presently working or in class#AGH#ignore this please <3 i needed to funnel this somewhere and my silly little tag is where it's goin#i feel like when people meet me they see something else and i am not actually ever what they want
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man. i really thought i knew where this was going and now. i once again realize i have no idea what i'm doing
#i was gonna try to do something where i mirrored as much of canon as i could#but that's not really gonna work with the setting i have i don't think#but. today i got like 2-3 different ideas and figured out how to make character motivations make more sense#and how to reflect a few different major canon events in this one#when my plan was originally to only make vague reference to them or ignore them wholesale#so. augh. now i have to figure all this out again#it's fine i'm having fun but god. good goddamn do i have no idea what i'm doing#it's also one of those things where i Know i'm gonna get pretty serious rsd from posting it#bc i know this au is niche#there are literally no people in my life outside of my immediate family that cares about the sports fusion this is.#and i am having an incredibly fun time making this indycar au#but i also feel it in my bones that i'm gonna put in all this work and like. very few people are gonna click on it#just bc of the relative unpopularity of this particular motorsport#it would absolutely be more popular if this was a formula 1 fusion. might even make sense with how much of the cast is european#unfortunately for me i do not give a single damn about f1. indycar is my bag#so. it's my fic and i'll mash my fixations together the way i want to#this isn't really bitching that much bc i am Going To Write This Regardless Of Consequences#but i can feel this one being. niche.#and to round off what i started this with: i really thought i knew what my plot was. and now i am realizing that i am going to#constantly be making changes to it for a while#and i'm starting school again in like. a week. so this will slow me down even more
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