#ignore me i am fine 3< /div>
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Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 1: Make It Sapphic AU
#once again we are ignoring the fact that it is not technically still day 1 where I live#look i am only like 30 minutes off so it's fine.#it's still day 1 in 3/4 of the US so we're fine#anyways here's sapphic Holloween because we all deserve a little bit of that in our lives#Inspired by the incredibly talented Snarky-wallflower#if you are reading this you simply must go check her out#she's an amazing author and a rad person so there are no downsides in lookin her up#but yeah that's crazy i finished two drawings in one day whoa#like i said i've got events back to back to back to back right now#so i've got another drawing to work on for tomorrow#but i'm not doing every day for this one#i've got art fight to prepare for as well#and work stuff to work on#fun fact: the most abundant mineral in the earth's mantle is Olivine#which is this beautiful green color#and even though it is so common#i do not have it in my collection smh#gotta get me some of that#did you know that i love rocks and minerals#i think i will start doing more rock facts because i've got plenty of those#hatchetfield femslash fortnight#holloweane#holloduke#miss holloway#duke keane#butch!duke keane#hatchetfield#nightmare time#nightmare time 2#kim whalen
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i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.
#3 am queer discourse take <3#anyways hot take number two. cishets do belong at pride. everyone who wants to celebrate queerness should be welcomed at pride#if a completely cishet business major fratboy wants to come to pride and vibe with us then he should be welcomed!#not even like. oh he has a queer sibling. no. if he's just a cishet dude who wants to spend his saturday at a parade then hell yeah#like completely ignoring that you have no way to tell he's definitively those things. it shouldn't matter regardless imo#pride is not a secretive club you need to be let into. it's a feeling and a celebration and a statement and a state of being#and whatever you want it to be#burying my other related hot take under the tags readmore ksdjksdjksdj#idk. i'm just tired of a lot of the things people seem to think about bisexuality's validity relating to bi women specifically#this is frustration with the gatekeepy and straight-passing discourse of it all#I'm tired of people being expected to act and to preform and to BE queer enough for others' opinions.#am I still welcome if I haven't been with a woman in a few years? if I dress boring? if I like m/f? if I don't listen to chappell roan?#joking on that last one but like. idk. never straight enough for the straights but never gay enough for the gays#constantly some mercurial in-between that offers no comfortable easy group to put us in.#what do i have to do to not be judged as a filthy hettie? are my doc martens enough for you yet?#like oh sorry let me cuff my jeans and have a bob and wear a button up over a cami and wear etsy earrings. am I visually bi enough yet?#let me apologize for the cardinal sin of liking men too. let me wash my hands of any time a cishet man has held them.#if it was a bisexual man then just hand sanitizer is fine right? where do you draw the line on my queerness?#let me preform for you in a way that makes me queer enough.#anyways. sarcasm aside. I think I've made my distaste for this whole affair evident#if you don't want cishets at pride then what happens to those you incorrectly deem as cishet? do I need to prove myself to you?#am I passing as straight? am I passing as gay? am I enough for onlookers?#is it not enough to just show up at pride and celebrate? anyone and everyone who wants to?
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Girl, help, the book authors are trying too hard to be "hip" with the fleeting "teen lingo" and trends again, immediately dating their works before they're even released
#eye twitching seeing certain modern slang in for real published books unironically#tiktokian slang that is out of date within weeks#it's a pet peeve of mine but so is modern books mentioning tiktok or stuff at all esp. when not relevant in general#god it pulls you out of the illusion#turns it into this very set in stone time frame rather than letting it just be or resonate on its own which is fine sometimes if natural#you can't avoid some mentions of some things when setting it today but in these cases it's so forced#hello fellow kidz.jpeg vibe in book form#books#this isn't even specific to ya books i've seen it in adult books as well#booklr#petty as i am i once stopped reading a first chapter excerpt for mentioning spotify by name on page 1 i'm sorry#this other book though oh they've used online phrases and boomer insult 3 times and brought up tiktok twice it's on thin f-ing ice#ignore me i'm petty but don't ignore me because this is a legit problem in the media industry#don't even get me started on text speak in the dialogue or texting sections yeah#it's not quite as bad if it's some fake variation of an app or just generic about being online but mentioning by name oh i'm gonna explode#most times anyway#i have yet to see it handled well#this was about slang though so tangent but !! gaah
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Hmm I apologize again for the rant !
It is not the first time I am doing it. I might forgot to put "please don't tag it as ship" under my drawing of tighnari cyno. Please, do not !
I love them as best friend, I love them as brother/found family, I don't mind the queerplatonic relationship at all
But their romantic side make me pretty uncomfortable. No hate ! It is my own taste.
Shippers are always welcomed and I am so glad you like my content 💕 but all my art concerning them (unless I tag the ship) are purely platonic. I just ask for some respect of my taste and not reblog my art with the ship tag.
I don't want to block, because I am genuinely glad you enjoy my work and as a young artist, it means a lot for me. Thank you so much 🙇 !! But as a human, I can't deny how uneasy it makes me feel.
Thank you for understanding !
#rant#I blame nobody#i am clearly not used to block ): I should tho but I know those who tag ship are not mean at all </3#it is fine if you don't know.#but i saw people reblogging my art with shiptag even if i said “do not”#my art is like my only safe place please respect it#this ship is so popular and I clearly stop to interact with the fandom because of that#i clearly ignore when I saw one in my timeline /dashboard becausz I can't do nothinf against it except masking the account#but I beg you. not. under. my. post.#not in my DM#why i feel obligated to justify myself 😭#but yeah !!! the ship is valid and full of greenflag !! wholesome !!#but I only enjoy them platonically !!! please respect 😭😭😭 I SWEAR I AM DESESPERATE WHY IT IS SO HARD FOR SOME TO RESPECT THAT OMG#gosh on twitter someone said me “ignore ??? what did you expect ??? it is the most popular ship”#I AM TRYING I AM LITERALLY NOT SEARCHING FOR FANART 😀#feeding myself with my own food#that's why I am so grateful for people who support me. thank you. 😭#and how could I ignore a comment under my post ??? interaction are so important for me I read everything#ANYWAY SORRY FOR RANTING !!! IT IS CLEARLY A /NOTMEAN POST !!!#next time I won't forgrt “do not tag it as ship”#but urgh if I do this I have to do in every post ???? 🤨#and what if I draw tighnari cyno kaveh but I don't mind ship with kaveh ??? 🤨🤨🤨 (plz still don't)#tHERE IS PLENTY OF CYN0N4RI ACCOUNT IF YOU WISH TO SEE MORE CONTENT OF THEM !! Please support them <<3 mine are platonic !#but clearly. imagine you are obsessive about two characters <<3#but their popular ship is the one who make you the most uncomfy 😀#so you decided to just stop looking at fanart and not bothering anyone 👍👍#but it came under your post and your DM 😟#AAA SORRY I AM SALTY I SWEAR I AM NOT USED TO FEEL LIKE THIS ):<#anyway plz take care ilove you mwah 🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕
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Still a thief at heart, stealing kisses (Patreon)
#Doodles#Gintama#Otose-san#Catherine#Gintoki#Are there any Otose/Catherine fans out there........Does anyone out there ship the old lady and her stray cat..........please.......#They're So cute weh their friendship is genuinely so wholesome I love them#I can't imagine why I'd be drawn to them it's a mystery#It's actually quite funny to me watching Gintama Now vs. when it came out#I definitely would've enjoyed it at the time! I can see it being a formative piece of me had I know about it then haha#But because it wasn't the way I engage with it now is very different - even without having experienced it I Know how it would've gone down#Hijikata/Ginchan are the obvious rivalship which was my Favourite at the time - then reevaluating later into polyshipping etc. etc. lol#I like Ginchan with Katsura and Zenzo as well to a degree :)#But really it's these two I ship so much...#I do think it's especially funny how they're used for comedy relief like ''Who would want to see these two as the main characters!''#Me I would I am raising my hand I love that they're actually friends and enjoy each other's company and like working together#They're not Cute in that fanservice kind of way - Otose-san is very pretty and elegant <3 And her voice is deep and gravely!#And Catherine's a petty asshole haha she's great ♪ She ignores others intentions on purpose to her own ends!#But she also might just actually be a bit dumb? She's very silly haha - and like I said they seem to really complement each other!#Ginchan really what were you hoping to get out of such a question lol#For a first time drawing him it's not so bad but his hair really is...something#I saw the how-to guide! I held it in mind! The amount of fluff is both too much and not enough...gotta make him soft-fluffier....#Also a bit funny to just me since for a bit I really did think Otose-san might've been Gin's mom lol#With how many scrappy little troublemakers she ends up adopting she might as well be! She's just too soft-hearted ♪#And he protects her because she's important to him too! It's sweet <3 Of course he'd want to watch out for her#She's doing fine lol - ewww grownups kissing hahaha
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Would most people realistically use 'carry' and 'convey' as synonyms in typical speech?? Seems a slightly reaching comparison to me lol
#Usually thesaurus.com's Synonym Of The Day is fine but every once in a while there areones like this#where looking at the initial email I'm like...?? i don't know?? none of them really????#Like out of the three options given without any additional context#I guess reading further I can kind of see where it comes from if you're using it in a less literal sense#like ''the poem carries sad tones through it's words'' > ''the poem conveys tones of sadness through its wording''#but thinking of the more everyday usage of the word carry and how most often you hear it. it seems initially like an odd comparison#to say Convey would be an actual known/commonly used synonym of it.#Which I do get it. theyve probably had to come up with thousands of these now. so sometimes you're probably stretching things a little#to make more absract connections lol. But it's just kind of funny sometimes when you open the#email and its like "which of these are a synonym of the word Dog? -- Mug. Amulet. or Orange Peel.'' and you're like ?????? none???#and then you click on it and it's like ''the third useage of the word 'dog' means to drink from a fountain. which is kind of like drinking#from a mug. um.. so yeah. :)'' and then I go okay :3 thesaurus dot com you could never make me hate you. sure. a dog is a mug. :3#Anyway... coming out of a full week of no posting on the internet just to reflect on an odd synonym of the day email lol.. I am like an#80 year old man who sits in his study all day ignoring everyone then will randomly come out sometimes to go 'ahhrmm.. take#a gander at this interesting crossword I've just found in the paper. strange right? .... ok. hmhpph. back to my library..'
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can someone nice (!!) please please please adopt me im begging you im requesting you (huge word vomit and vent in tags, pls dont read if u dont want to!! and if you don't want this stuff on this blog PLS lmk!! i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy! )
#tw vent#yes ik i have a vent blog#but idk why i dont wanna go there#ill prolly delete this in a while + if i vent here (which ill try not to) ill always tag it#but if any of yall aren't fine with it pls do lmk!!! ill stop <3#Anyways.#fucking hell i hate this.#dude#i very specifically told them to hurry the fuck up THEY were the ones making us late#i have told them a hundred times the minimum time i jeed to get ready#i told them this morning too that you guys make us late then put it all on me#nad she went like oh no dear dont worry that wont happen#WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH#and like the lecture and huge ass scolding and then cold shouldet ive been getting from BOTH of them before i left for coachinh#im just tired atp#idk its not even that big a deal this happens everyday#i dont know how to feel#idk if im even rly feeling anything atp#its just that i really fucking hate being here#I wanna get the fuck out#but thing is this makes me feel kinda guilty occasionally#for eg a few days ago i was rly sick and she took care of me kinda#and then that made me feel bad for hating her#but then things like this happen and i cant help it and i feel so conflicted#i dont want to stay here i know that for sure but i feel guilty for it#if i speak im being rude and backtalking#if i dont speak im being rude and ignoring#the fuck am i supposed to do????#she always tells me to 'stay silent and just hear it'#and when i do that she keeps shouting again and again and finally i say smth bc although its extremely fucking dumb of me to open my mouth
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evs. what r ur p:eg blorbos. as one of the people who got u into it i feel the necesity to know :33333333333 /nf /silly
Oh this is a funny ask to see right as I finished chapter 1-
Tho for real, my top 3 were immediately Ingrid, Wolfgang and Eloise in that order
....safe to say this game hasn't traumatized me AT ALL and I am SO NORMAL about it
And my good (gender neutral) sir I will be absolutely SNORTING all of your art on this game once I get sleep<3
#my blorbos....#ALSO ALSO I ENTIRELY CALLED WOLFGANG BEING THE FIRST VICTIM#I FELT THAT IN MY SOUL OR SOMETHING#I FELT LIKE HE HAD A BIT TOO MUCH OF A PRESENCE IN THE MOCK TRIAL TO EVER SHOW UP AGAIN IN ONE AND I WAS RIGHT#also its 2 am so i should be going to sleep in a bit<3#anyway yeah ignore that i started and finished the game in literally like the past 30 hours im literally fine#would LOVE to talk more about the game once i wake up tho#me thangs#p:eg spoilers#because of the tags
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hiii i wrote this way way back after 5x10 aired from buck's perspective and finally got around to making a little demo that i don't hate :') lyrics under the cut!
lyrics:
your blood on my face splattered like rain on the sidewalk your hand reaching out lips trying to form the shape of my name
i could see it right then the shape of my life without you i knew i would hate it more than anything
ten years ago bloody bruised cheek on the pavement ears ringing out i’ve never felt so alone
five years ago driving across a new state line every four months like my body knew it needed to be where you are
you built me a home here i let you touch me in places that nobody else would dare to
you built me into your life behind my back just in time to take your exit what am i supposed to do with that?
your blood in my mouth stuck to my gums like molasses i still taste your death when i jolt awake at night, covered in sweat
and i still feel the rain fall like bullets the night that i tried to dig you out i swear i will dig us out of here and we’ll be alright
you gave me a home here i let you save me in ways i thought nobody would ever care to
you wrote me into your life then turned your back you know i would never reject it but would it kill you to ask?
in the doorway, waiting by phone just out of reach, just shy of alone but you know me, i’ll never leave you can’t hit the ground if you never let go
so i’ll take this, i’ll lap up this scraps i’ll fake fulfillment until i collapse and you know me, heart on my sleeve i swear i’ve been screaming, “please don’t leave”
guess you didn’t hear that
you built me a home here i let you touch me
you built me into your life behind my back just in time to take your exit what am i supposed to do with that?
#ignore my voice pls i am so sick but i rly felt inspired to record this so#but i can hear my congestion and i hate it khjsdh its fine#also im not a producer pls im literally just clicking buttons in logic and hoping for the best#so basically go easy on me </3#but anyways enjoy!!!!!!!!#this has been in my notes app for like two years so excited to finally share it with yall#abby is making#911#buddie
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u know what, i'm not fighting the mental illness anymore
#am i juggling more than three blogs now. yes#am i returning to two more blogs? also yes#does my multi continued to be ignored? yes <3#HAHAHA. im fine#part of me is like i really should utilize my multi more bc they will end up going back but like ............... ok#ive been rereading the manga and trying to catch up for the past three years and im determined to . actuall do that now <3#chuuya's novels im def rereading as well bc it ruined me actually#gin stays on the multi <3#this is about bsd i forget nobody can read my mind
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loveeee being a chronic overthinker and labeler for everything but physical health. could write essays on my brain but if I had to describe my heart issue I’d be like idk man it feels like it’s not working right. shoot me where i stand id give you a better answer.
#lee’s bullshit#loveeeee just casually sitting then feeling like my heart is racing like calm down we’re doing nothing babe#like how do you be like ‘oh I think it’s beating wrong’ to a doctor be so serious.#idk what the issue is I just want it to stop happening. it’s probably a covid thing but idk my mom def won’t believe me#as is usual for health issues. so anyway#going to go to bed now. hopefully my heart continues to work in my sleep.#<— ignore this I am just venting my considerable anxiety abt my heart stopping I will probably be fine. good night <3
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man im not built for customer service jobs
#i dont even work much honestly#but 2 8hr shifts followed by 2 5hr shifts has rudely reminded me that i am disabled in more way than one#like i cant be going semi verbal in a cashier position#and standing still for hours on end with hypermobile joints is killer#also we're gonna ignore that for the last 3 shifts ive been having chest pain specifically right over my heart and in my arm#im sure its fine#summer itself has been absolutely fucking with me too just in a constant limbo with feeling low levels of sick cause of it#had to cancel my birthday plays halfway through cause of it#not to mention the lowkey dangerous combination that is intrusive thoughts mixed with tourettes#im actually fine this is fine im just fed up with working retail lmao#idc if im broke nexf year anymore i need to quit once uni starts again (if i get in)#anyways live laugh love#bedtime now before i gotta do it all again tomorrow#i hope its quiet#pls#personal
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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JUST FINISHED LISTENING TO BLOOD IN THE BAYOU AND
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE
FUCK
#screaming crying sobbing on the floor#absolutely fucking Devastated#all i know is Pain fucking Hell#jrwi bitb#blood in the bayou#crying so hard actually#I am supposed to go do a presentation for a class in 30 minutes fml#i Will be Fine#just give me 3-5 business days to recover#love these guys thank you for such brillian story telling#notebook entries#ignore any typos i am writing thru tears <3
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thinking back on my sexuality questioning over the years from like 2015 to now is so funny
im straight! > maybe im bi > no im straight (out of denial) > ok yeah girls are attractive im bi > maybe im asexual. no im too young to know > wait do i actually like boys or was it comphet > i think it was comphet im a lesbian > wait im nonbinary > maybe im aromantic but i dont want to think about it > wait im transmasc. maybe im not a lesbian and i was just uncomfortable being perceived as the woman in the relationship bc im not one and so i guess i am bi after all > ok i am aroace. no denying it anymore. i guess it wasnt comphet after all. > wait do i even like men at all. > wait im bigender actually, thats why i keep thinking of myself as a girl sometimes and being jealous of girls because i partially am, but im also partially a boy and overall just mostly nonbinary with little hints of everything else > i think i do like men. theres just exceptions. surely. i just like women like 90% of the tine > i dont think i like men actually. i wasnt thinking of real people when i thought there were exceptions. i guess im a lesbian. again.
like maybe im wrong again and this will continue a few years from now, who knows. but it is funny how it seems like i was just going in circles over and over, stopping just short of the truth because i thought it was good enough without digging deeper
#i think part of why i thought i was attracted to men again after realizing i was transmasc was probably partly wishing i looked like some -#- of them making me think i was attracted to them. and also random fictional characters which i dont think count here!#bc like. if they were real i probably wouldnt like. be all over them#as long as it stays in the realm of fiction its fine but i think looking at real people really made me realize that. yeah. nothings there#being aroace does make figuring this shit out more difficult because i only experience romantic attraction like every 3000 years#but maybe ive got it this time?#i dug deeper than i usually do. i tried to go back to being bi because thats how ive been for 3 years now#but. it just felt wrong now that i had thought deeper. it didnt feel comfortable. and i couldnt ignore it#so. here i am. womanliker once more
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It's. Weird. Being nonbinary/gender fluid/genderqueer in a queer-friendly space. I'm currently in a community college musical production, and there's a number of other queer and trans people. And I forget how most people react to multi-pronouns users
Like, I'll be talking to people and someone will refer to me with one set of pronouns, and then correct themselves to a different set. And I know it's just them trying to be courteous, but it gets tiring constantly saying "no it's fine, I use any pronouns." Like, it's not a bad thing, just. Tiring. And I actually am playing a male role in act 1, and while my cast mates have been really supportive and say I'm hilarious and do a great job, I can't help but wonder how many of them find the humor in this male asshole character being played by a "woman". I know I was cast because the director knows I use multiple pronouns, including "he", but not many of my cast mates know. And for every other role, I typically play femme.
And there's another thing. In day to day life, most people think of "I use they/she/he pronouns" as the same as "I use any pronouns". But it's not. So I say the former when someone asks, and I get a weird look because in their mind, I should've just said the latter. But there's a difference, and it matters to me.
#ash blabs#rambling just ignore me#not necessarily negative? just. weird emotions#i know for a fact the audience is gonna think it's hilarious that a ''woman'' is playing a man#especially because if there's a program with descriptions with pronouns for the actors. I'll have to put she/her#because I'm Not out to my family#anyways we have 3 more rehearsals until opening night and I'm stressing only A Little Bit#edit: also one of the cast members/costume assistants keeps calling me Ashley and it's fucking weird#like yes that is Legally my full name but I've only ever gone by Ash unless the director's called me Ashley#which is fine! it's different to me when professors do it!#but like. at this point in my life the only people in my life who call me Ashley are close friends and family#and even then it's only on the occasion or as a joke/said like ashwee jokingly#so it's. Weird. for a classmate to be calling me Ashley when i am Ash
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