#if youre not self shipping thats okay but if you want to you should you should draw yourself vivisecting him while hes squealin and giggling

[dirt-str1der]

Self shipping is always the morally correct thing to do

[starlightazriel]

bee 2

desc: (fem reader) modern au best friends to lovers, roommate az, angsty + smutty, multiple parts (not sure how many yet at least 5)

warnings: 18+, drug/alcohol abuse, reader being self concious, jealous az, SEXUAL TENSIonnn, sex dream

wc: 4.1k

other parts will be found on my azriel masterlist

two

I was completely mortified. I could hear Azriel getting ready for the beach in the morning, and no matter how badly I had to pee I refused to exit my room. There was no way I could face him yet.

I hadn't even known how long he had been standing there. Had he heard me moan his name?

I watched my door, listening waiting to hear the front door swing shut. I see darkness under my door and i bite my lip knowing he's standing on the other side.

Don't knock, don't knock, don't knock.

The house was so quiet I could hear him sigh before walking away from my door and I finally heard the front door close.

My phone chimes a moment later as I walk to the bathroom and my stomach churns when I see Azriels name pop up on the screen. i know you worked late i didn't want to wake you up. you gonna come out to the house when you get up?

I swallowed locking my phone again, I'd respond later.

I couldn't stop thinking about what was going through Azriels head. He was probably judging me. I used the bathroom and went back to my room, staring at myself in the mirror. I felt so ashamed, what kind of person just did that in someone else's bed?

I groaned to myself falling back on my bed pressing my hands into my face. He probably thought that I was obsessed with him now. 'your bed is comfortable?' Thats what I had come up with?

And the women he hooked up with? The ones he would meet in bars or bring home from clubs... They just weren't like me. Even though he never really had anything serious except once or twice, his ex girlfriends? All older than him, seasoned, sometimes even married.

It had been near impossible to focus on any homework or studying I hadn't texted Azriel back, hoping he would just leave it alone thinking I was just busy with school work.

My phone chimes with another text, the afternoon sun was peeking through my curtains, I knew I should get up and get out of the house.

kats looking for you. you should get outside you been in all day.

i have a lot of homework azriel I squinted, looking down at the text I had just sent. Since when did I become so formal with him?

please..for me?

My heart leapt and I read the words over and over, pulling my lip between my teeth. Another message popped up.

and for kat? she's begging over my shoulder and she wants me to tell you her phones dead and that's why she hasn't called herself

I sighed softly, that seems more like it, not for Azriel. For Kat, who probably was telling him what to say.

Kat and I had been fast friends ever since Rhys hired her into the shop, she was an aspiring tattoo artist working out her days at the front desk until she was ready to start her apprenticeship. Our friend ship was easy, she was one of the first female friends that I had ever had in my life that I actually trusted.

She sort of knew about my feelings for Azriel, maybe not the extent, but she knew. It wasnt that hard for anyone to figure it out with the way that I looked at him. Anyone except for him, I guessed. Kat had blatantly asked me about it one day, I remembered blushing furiously and staring down at my drink which had been answer enough for her. She pushed me to make a move for a while and eventually gave up, realizing that I would never grow the confidence or the balls to actually do anything about it.

okay give me twenty I finally responded after a long few minutes of debating wether or not I could handle that right now after what had happened yesterday. It had barely even been twenty four hours.

I shake my head, looking at myself in the mirror again, I looked horrible. My hair was messy and I had dark circles under my eyes from working late and not being able to sleep.

I at least had to shower and blow dry my hair. I couldn't show up looking like this. Even if the fate that awaited me was bound to be relentless torture until I was back in the safe confines of my room. Would Azriel even speak to me in person? I wasnt sure I wanted him to, the embarrassment of what he had caught me doing was enough let alone the fact that he had now seen me completely naked. In broad daylight at that. I didnt look like the thinner taller women that Az usually went for, so when I fantasized about what our first time could be like, the lights were always off.

"You're an idiot," I told my reflection, freshly showered and at least a little more presentable. I put on my cream colored string bikini, some shorts, and tied a hoodie around my shoulders, knowing that soon it would be cold on the beach with the evening approaching, I wouldn't stay that long, but just in case. "Azriels probably going to disown you and kick you out of his apartment as soon as he realizes youre a creepy little fuck that's obsessed with him," I added, grimacing at my expression. "And now youre an idiot who's talking to yourself," I groaned again, wishing I could be anywhere else, or anybody else.

-

"Where's your mind been at today?" Rhys asks, plopping down in the sand next to Azriel on the outskirts of the group. They had a fire going the group was lively, Kat dancing to the music that Rhys had put on, Cassian watching, a beer in hand talking to Riley, their newest tattoo artist at the shop. Cass and Azriel himself weren't exactly a fan of the guest artist but what Rhys said they had to go with, as the owner of the shop, he always had the final say. Azriel shrugged, taking a long sip of his drink, his eyes flicking to Rhys.

"Just didnt sleep much," he responds, leaning back into the sand.

"Y/n!" Kat screams then, Azriels eyes land on Bee in the distance, Kat running for her full bore. He swallowed hard watching as they stop a little ways from the outskirts of the rest of the group, his eyes raking over Bees body clad in a little bikini. Her eyes land on his too, for a moment, they quickly dart nervously back to Kat. Azriel wondered what she was thinking, he wondered if she would approach him or ignore him all night.

"The fucking tits on her, you pierced those Cass? What kind of nipples does she have?" Rileys voice interrupted Azriels thoughts and he felt his mouth go dry, his entire body tensing.

"Careful," Cassian warned him, knowing exactly how Azriel could be when anyone disrespected Bee, but now it felt different for Azriel. It wasnt just about feeling the need to protect her, he felt... Jealous. "You know that's classified, client confidentiality," Cass smirked and his eyes drifted over to Azriel who was now completely seething. Who the fuck did Riley even think he was?

"She's off limits," Azriel simply says, trying to mask his tone the best he could from the growl that threatened to slip out.

"Says who, you? She's grown," Riley rises to his feet to greet the pair. Azriel can't bring himself to peel his eyes away.

"I'll fuck him up Rhys," Azriel threatened, his beer forgotten in the sand as he watched the three of them closely.

"I got a good lawyer for you when you do," Cass snickers softly, standing to grab himself another beer from the cooler.

"No ones fighting," Rhys says, glancing between the two of them before rolling his eyes. "Why you so touchy tonight Az?" he just shakes his head, trying his best to tear his eyes away.

"I told you, Im just tired," he stood up, brushing the sand off of himself and advances to monitor the situation.

-

No, no, no no. Don't come over here. Not so soon. I felt like I was going to pass out when I saw Azriel advancing toward us. Kat was annoyed by Rileys approach because she had been trying to figure out why I showed up so late and to ask what had happened yesterday because all I had done was send her 'I need to go live under a rock and die' without any further explanation.

"Bee, you finally left your homework," Azriel speaks, standing directly next to Riley who he'd interrupted, not that I had been listening, I had been internally panicked about this exact moment.

"Well- I um- yeah I got what I needed to done," I lied awkwardly, struggling to get a single word out underneath Az's blatant stare. When had he ever looked at me like that? My gut churned at the thought of what he might actually be thinking. Kat looked between the two of us, squinting, her lips pursing together slightly. She knew she had missed something. He glanced at Riley, annoyance flashing in his eyes and then back at me, I could tell he wanted to say something.

"I can tell you are both dying to get her alone, but I need her first," Kats words had me blushing furiously. Both of them? Dying to get me alone? What was she even thinking? Riley maybe, as he always seemed to flirt with me anytime I would drop by the shop or find myself hanging out with them when Kat or Azriel gave me an invite. But I was almost positive the last thing that Azriel wanted was to be alone with me, maybe to tell me to pack my shit and go. I opened my mouth to say something along the lines of telling her to shut up but she was dragging me away toward the house, away from the beach and the fire they had going. I wondered what the guys were saying, glancing over my shoulder as we walked toward the wrap around porch overlooking the beach. Azriel and Riley were standing there talking now, it looked heated.

"What's going on with you two? Azriel has barely said a word all day and you can't even look him in the face when he shows up," she eyes me, a small smirk threatening at her lips. "You finally fucked him didnt you?" her smirk breaks out in a grin and I pale slightly, falling back into one of the patio chairs.

"I wish. It's bad," I groan, pressing my hands into my face. I didnt even know how to tell her what had happened. I knew it would sound so much worse out loud.

"Im dying to know, you have to tell me," she giggles quietly, her already bubbly voice enhanced with her drunken state.

"He caught me using my vibrator in his room Kat. Im fucking done for," my voice is so quiet that if it wasnt for her laugh I would have thought she didnt even hear me.

"Girl that's crazy. Shit, you have more balls than I thought, maybe more than me," her hand flies to her mouth, my cheeks warm with embarrassment.

"Kat its not funny. I just single handedly destroyed any chance I ever have for him to see me as anything more than the stupid little immature little girl that hes always had to look after," my face is covered by my hands again, and I suddenly wished that I had never even come here.

"You never know y/n," Kat said and I pulled my hands away to look at her. "Maybe this will finally make him realize how much of a woman you've grown into," she added, I swallowed, considering as I looked out to the beach and the water, the boys were sitting around the fire smoking now, laughter could be heard in the distance but I didnt hear Azriels and I paled when I noticed him walking toward the house.

"Hes coming," Kat squeaks out giggling softly and standing up.

"Don't leave me here," I begged quietly, it felt like a rock was forming in the pit of my stomach. She only flashed me a devilish grin before turning around.

"Oh good Az, you can keep y/n company while I get our drinks," Kat threw me one more glance and winked in encouragement, I threw her daggers in response and I suddenly felt naked as Azriel took a seat across from me. The air was cooler now, the sunset quickly approaching. Azriels eyes flicked to my chest, my nipples showing through the thin fabric and his throat bobbed his eyes quickly flicking to mine and I averted my gaze. I couldn't remember him ever looking at me this much.

"Hey," he cleared his throat, and I look at him again, hes blushing. Maybe he was just as embarrassed as I was.

"Um hi," I smile weakly, a blush creeping onto my own cheeks, it was unbearably awkward and I would have to get back at Kat for this some way later.

"So..." he started and I silently begged to any existing higher power to please not let him bring up yesterday. "Are you going to tell me why you were in my room?" he finally said, and I felt my gut reel, wishing a hole would open in the earth beneath me and swallow me up. I shifted in my seat, our eyes met again and there was something new there but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"I told you... Your bed is comfortable," my voice is strained and I felt hot, I wished for him to stop looking at me like that. I couldn't handle his intense stare, I fought the urge to put my hoodie on. He raised his eyebrows, leaning back in his seat, amusement twinkled in his eyes.

"So that's what youre going with?" he cocked his head slightly, tipping his chin up. He was drunk maybe a little high too, I could tell by the way he carried himself, the slight slur in his words.

"I-" I started but couldn't find anything to say, heat pooled in my core at the sight of him, the way his jaw flexed slightly as he waited for my response. "Yeah," I finally mumbled pathetically, he stares his eyes not leaving me I could tell he wanted to ask more questions, wanted to continue.

"What did Riley want?" he then asks, my brows draw together in confusion but I'm grateful for the subject change.

"Riley? Oh, um, there's a piece Ive been wanting to get done and hes only charging me materials we were just talking about it," I swallow, he squints slightly, clearly it was the first he had heard about this, I was sure Riley would have said something.

"Why? You don't want me to do it?" He asked then, an edge in his tone now, a challenge. I swallowed before opening my mouth, and then closing it. My cheeks were blazing as I uncomfortably shifted in my chair, I didnt know how to feel about the air between us. It felt suffocating.

-

"I- Its just in kind of an intimate place, I didnt think you would want to," Bee finally said, she was fidgeting nervously with her fingers, eyes kept darting to his and then away again.

"An intimate place?" Azriel asked slowly, his eyes narrowing slightly, his spine straightened at the thought of Riley tattooing her, his hands on her. It made him sick.

"Come on guys," Kat interrupted, Azriels eyes flickered to her, annoyance written on his face. He made a mental note to further investigate when he was at the shop the next day. "Drunk never have I ever, Rhys brought a bottle," she giggles and grabs Bees hand, Azriel stands to follow them.

"What are we, twelve?" Azriel asked and rolled his eyes as he follows them back to the group, he watched Bee closely as she pulled her hoodie over her body. He was secretly relieved since he hadn't been able to tear his eyes off of her since she had arrived.

"Oh shut up, it will be fun," Kat says as they approached the group, all finding seats around the fire in the sand. Rhys poured a cup of tequila for every one of them, Azriel smiled seeing Bee out of the corner of his vision, sniffing the liquor and scrunching her nose in distaste. They began playing, quickly all becoming quite drunk, he couldn't keep his eyes off of Bee, he wondered if she noticed. She would just blush and look away every time.

Azriel had to give it to Kat, it was entertaining. They were also certainly learning new things about each other. It was dark now, the only light from the fire and the moon, the waves lapped gently against the beach, and it was kind of peaceful.

"Never have I ever had a threesome," Riley said, Azriels eyes flicked to Bee, she didn't drink, neither did Kat. He took a small sip and her eyes widened slightly but she quickly looked away from him, Rhys and Cass also drank and Riley smirked at the two women. "Maybe we can go fix that for all three of us," he said smoothly, licking over his lip, his eyes were fixed on Bee who was blushing furiously now, Azriel tensed, his grip tightening on his cup.

"Oh shut up, y/n and I could find someone so much hotter to have a threesome with," Kat giggles softly, gently nudging her with her shoulder. "Az, its your turn, you have to go," everyone turned to him expectantly, he shrugged, his eyebrows raising slightly as he tried to think of something to say, he had skipped his last two turns.

"Never have I ever fell in love," he finally said, Bees eyes flicked to him and she looked at him curiously, she took a small sip from her cup along with everyone else. "Guess Im the only one."

"You have no heart," Cass snickered, earning a dirty look from Azriel.

"Or youre all just soft," he said back before beginning to roll himself a spliff, Rhys laughed and shook his head. Azriel couldn't help but wonder which one of Bees dumbass ex boyfriends she had been in love with. There was only a couple, he hadn't approved of either of them at the time. "Bee?" Rhys asked then, watching her expectantly, she shrugs looking up to the sky as if it would give her an answer.

"Never have I ever got off from head?" Bee finally says before looking back at the group, everyone took a sip from their cup. Azriels eyes fixed on her now, and he was chewing the inside of his lip, the spliff he had been rolling finished on his lap now. He imagined fixing that for her, he imagined his lips and his tongue all over her body, the sound of her moans filling the room. What the fuck was wrong with him? The thought made his pants feel just the slightest bit tighter.

"That's a sad life, I can fix that one for you too," Riley chimed in, a smirk plastered on his face. Azriel squinted, cleared his throat, his chin tilting up in Rileys direction. Bee was blushing, her eyes fixed on Azriel now.

"No ones fixing anything for anyone," Azriel shrugged, picking up his spliff finally to light it. He noticed Kat looking between him and Bee an excited light in her eyes, what was that about?

"Never have I ever got caught or caught someone masturbating!" Kat chimes out, Bees face goes completely pale and then red a second later before she looks at Kat a horrified expression on her face. They both drank from their cups, eyes only meeting for a split second. She told Kat about what happened? Big mistake.

"So that's why it's been so weird between you two," Cass is snickering from the corner. "I have to ask though, who caught who?" he adds and Bee rose to her feet, quickly, dusting the sand off.

"Bathroom," she manages to get out before she whirled on the group and started walking quickly back toward the house.

"Well that wasnt awkward at all," Cass laughs again, looking back to Kat. Azriel rolled his eyes, dusting the sand off of his clothes as he stands as well.

"Nice one Kat," Azriel growled quietly, she threw her hands up in defense, apologizing quietly. Azriel didnt really care what they would say after he walked away, that didnt really matter. He just wanted to check on her.

He found Bee pacing back and forth in the kitchen nervously and he leaned against the door frame, watching her curiously. He didnt understand his new found interest in his best friend. She had always just been his best friend Bee...

"It's normal you know," he finally spoke, causing her to almost jump out of her skin.

"Can you stop sneaking up on me?!" she demanded, holding her hand to her chest before relaxing. "Yeah, it's normal but not in your roommates room," she added, Azriels lips twitched, a smile threatening at them.

"You wanna go home?" he asked, changing the subject, he gestured toward the front hall of the house that lead to the front door. She relaxed again, looked toward the window out at the group.

"What are they gonna say?" she bit her lip, looking back at Azriel who drew his brows together.

"Bee, we live together, remember? It's normal for us to leave together."

-

Azriel advanced, dropping to his knees in front of his bed before her. Bee looked down at him with her big doe eyes, her lips parting in surprise. She whispered his name softly, holding her vibrator to her clit, it buzzed softly and he pushed her legs open more, his fingers gently squeezing the soft skin of her inner thighs. He groaned softly, dipping his head between her legs and gently lapping up her wetness. She moaned his name again, her voice breaking slightly, her free hand found his hair as her body shook gently beneath him, he knocked the toy away, his lips wrapping around her clit and he sucked on her soft skin, moaning against her at the taste, she cried out again, Azriels name leaving her lips-

Azriel woke to the sound of his alarm and he rolled over, groaning and smashing his hand onto the beeping alarm clock.

"Fucking hell," he breathed, his head absolutely pounding from the amount they had drank last night. His cock ached, completely rock solid from the dream he was having. He rubbed his face, rising to his feet. He knew he had too many early clients to take care of that now, when was the last time he even had a fucking wet dream? High school?

Azriel exited his room to go have a cold shower, Bee smacked into him instantly, their bodies colliding, Azriel held her arms to steady her, their eyes meeting. He rose his eyebrows, usually she was in class on Mondays by now. Or on her way at least. Her lips were slightly parted, cheeks flushed deeply as she looked up at him, he could feel his morning wood throbbing between them. "Late?" he finally speaks, his voice husky from sleep. She seems to snap out of it, shaking her head slightly pulling away, he doesn't miss her eyes widen when they settle on his hard cock that was pressed against his boxers. His cheeks warm as he wondered what she was thinking.

"Y-yes," she stuttered, peeling her eyes away from him finally, her eyes flicking back up to his face. "I'll see you later," she choked out before all but running out of the apartment.

Azriel sighed quietly, missing how easy it had been between them only days ago. He couldn't look at her without wanting to rip her clothes off, he couldn't talk to her alone without her dying to get away, he couldn't even be in his bed without being reminded of her in his bed.

Azriel decided that best friends or not, he would be the one to take care of her next time she needed a roll in the sheets. Maybe then they could act normal, maybe the awkwardness would dissipate. Maybe there was just a weird tension between them now that could be fixed by them fucking.

He had to get rid of his new found curiosity some way. It felt wrong even thinking like that, but he needed to know now. She wasnt just Bee anymore, she was fucking hot, and he didnt understand how he had never even noticed before.

-

a/n: sorry this took so long!! not proof read yet so if you see mistakes lmk <3 comment to be tagged in the next part

[writingoddess1125]

I Fell in love Alone pt.2

Are you guys okay!? Why do you want more sad stuff?! Hugs you all

Buggy x GN reader

Sad Angst

No warnings just sadness

Enjoy depression part 2!

It had been three weeks... three weeks since you had stopped speaking and visiting Buggy and he was a wreck... at first he played it cool, acting like he had dropped you for a few toy even betting people to join him in bed but- it wasn't the same.. he had never felt so empty before- not since Shanks betrayed him and that was a feeling had never wanted back.

He was snappier and his temper somehow worse- almost of his late night partners he had tried to fill his space could t even step into the room or touch him before he snapped and sent them away as their presence didn't provide the same comfort.

Buggy couldn't help but watch your every move, Waiting for some indication that you'd come back- That you'd get jealous or maybe lonely like he was.. but that didn't seem to be the case- you seemed okay without him.

You were starting to heal- despite having to see Buggy almost everywhere or see people leaving his room when you past by to get to the crew sleeping quarters, oddly you felt like you were getting better. The cracks were still their but slowly filling with a self love you weren't sure was their before.

You talked to some friends you hadn't spoke to in a while since you had been so into Buggy that he occupied your everything. It had been nice, even if at night you'd feel that same ache or hollowness but it was shrinking...

Tonight had been a party, for what reason you didn't know but it just ment slightly better food and more alcohol for everyone. So seated on a barrel you and your friends play some cards and drink, laughing and just talking.

"(Y/N) I dont want to ruin the mood but...You know- I never did ask, How was your relationship with Buggy?" They ask, You taking a breath as you sip your own drink.

"In the beginning it was great... the passion, the feeling of him being with me- I thought it was love but I think it was just infatuation and easy access for him- while for me it was obsession" You admit, a bitter taste going over your tongue at such words.

"It was when I realized that- he left first always.. never kissed me and used me like some prop..how he never asked about me, never cared and... I wasnt what hebreally wanted- I was just his status symbol" You wince at your own words, hot tears welling in your eyes.

"It was my fault however. I should have never fell in love with him. Cause now I have to learn how to fall out of love with him, thats why next time we dock im leaving..." You admit, your friends looking on you in sympathy as they pour you another drink.

You and your friends cheered together at 'Learning to fall out of love and till the next adventure' And drank together the rest of the night. You had a higher tolerance due to spending so much time with Buggy- so by the time the rest of the crew had retired for the night you went up to get some fresh air on the main deck still raw from the conversation that took place with your friends.

You walk out to see Buggy, drunk off his ass and barely able to stand against the rails of his ship, the almost dozen rolling bottles clued you in he was most likely had binge drank and was close to blackout. Reaching over quickly to grab him before he accidently went overboard and pulling him back-

"Captian what are yo-" You stopped as you saw him, he looked a reck.... His makeup was flaky and old, his hair a awful mess and he looked like he had been fished out of some sewer drain then your Captian.

"D-Dont call me that- I hate it when you c Hic Me Capitan! Buggy- Only you can call me Buggs!" He said angrily, swaying opposite to the pull and push of the waves.

"Sir you're drunk let's get you inside" You say softly, reaching out to grab his coat to pull him inside but he grabbed your hand hard and held it in an iron grasp.

"No! I want you back (Y/N)! You need to come back now!" He yelled, scaring you a bit at the tone of voice but in truth you were scared he was going to hurt himself..

"Cap.. Buggy- Im here i dont" You were cut off again as he staggered forward- almost falling on you if he hadn't caught his own weight slamming into the rails again. You pulling him back.

"No! I want you back with me! I- I want you back...you have to stay..." He mumbled, Your face blooming in surprise by the words coming from his lips.

"I learned them! I learned them all! I know your favorite colors, your birthday, the village you came from and what foods you like and dislike... T-That I embarrassed you..." He started to trail off as tears welled in his eyes and he staggered to the side.

"How you didn't feel like I cared for you... i-i didn't hold you at night and tell you how important you are to me.. how you thought I never kissed you or would leave you in the morning cause i didnt care-" He said the last sentence angrily and tossed the mostly empty rum bottle on the ground watching how it shattered. "How you're going to leave..."

"I.. Buggy how did you-" You mutter, before Buggy stammered towards you and reached into your coat pocket with a heavy hand and pulled out his own ear- you never knew it was missing to begin with and forgot how often you wear this coat. Smacking it to the side of his head as he stumbled at reattaching his limb.

"I kissed you every morning before I left.. I don't get much sl-sleep and so I'd wake up and just watch the sun hit you're face.. kiss you gently before leaving for the day..." He admitted, you feeling your heart squeeze at his words as well as the slight embrassment that he heard your woes to your friends about himself- or worse he drank himself like this cause he did hear you.

"I... don't know what love is.. I don't think I've ever truly felt it.. familial bonds... brotherly kinship.. but never love- B-But I think what I feel for you is it? I-Im not sure but I feel like my chest is being cut open when I look at the bed and you're not there with me... when I dont feel your warmth on my hand... or your voice telling me anything" tears began to roll down his tears fully, He looked so sad and lonely...

"Buggy..." You say softly, Watching tears run down his face washing what remained of his tattered makeup. How he hiccups both from crying and being drunk.

"I-I miss you (Y/N)..." He admitted, falling onto his knees finally as he ignored the pokes of the glass entering him. Tears continuing to flow freely as he bowed his head.

You couldn't watch this... reaching down you help him to his feet, feeling how heavy he was and the sour smell of BO that radiated off of him. Bringing him back to his quarters you set him on the bed to get him cleaned up.

He almost looked comatose, tears still running down his cheeks silently as you clean the makeup from his face and pull off his sour dirty clothes. Getting a wet rag to give him some sort of bath like he was a child- it wasnt like you hadnt seen him naked before, babbling drunk nonsense leaving him as you did so and help him into fresh underwear which he stumbles and ends up just detaching his legs lazily to help. But his hand always an iron grasp onto you in some way.

"Alright let's get you into bed..." You say softly, still fairly conflicted about all of this. Ready to just make sure the captian is safe enough to were he doesn't choke on his own vomit in his sleep and return to the crew quarters but he sobs and grabs you.

"Stay- please!" He begs, Having never heard this level of total panic from him- He looked so vulnerable.. in boxers, drunk, without his makeup of mask and emotionally a open book... you couldn't leave him like this.

So you removed your coat and climb in next to him. He held onto you, like what he would do every night you two had shared together. However now you understood, feeling that desperation in his grasp you had never understood before.

"Please stay with me (Y/N)..." You hear him whisper, burying his face into your neck further like he could hide from the world against you.

"...I know I'm not much... I'm not the strongest... not the smartest and-d not handsome but... I'll do anything for you... just please- don't leave me too" You feel your heart break at the softness of his words and how broken he sounded. How you had manages to crumble this paper lion- you held him tighter and rubbed circles in his back to lull him to sleep silently.

Tag List:

@starsali @nerdisthenewcool @aleisha127 @delectableworm @aleracrovn @myhubbyisbuggy @d1ner @soft-mafia @foggyturtleknightangel @devils-blackrose @valentinass-whotookmyname @onelatenight-longago @natalieisfreeziing @straightedgegoth

[byrdffv]

The kirby fanfiction rec list for people on the r/kirby discord server because i mentioned i wanted to make one and people said i should

(technically a repost from a google doc i made to share there but i figured tumblr might appreciate it too)

Alright kirbros, let’s get into it.

These are in no particular order; you should give all of these fics a read IMO.

First up, let’s get the easy ones out of the way,

Kirby on the flipside by ProminenceFlare is the most popular Kirby fanfiction on ao3. Ok technichally that spot is taken by some dumb MHA fanfic that doesn't even have a single Kirby character in it but thats not the point; KotFs is THE Kirby fanfic. Theres plenty of game/anime crossovers out there but this one takes the cake. Its 300 thousand words long for christs sake, and it’s a GREAT 300 thousand words. If you haven't read KotFs, you haven't read much Kirby fanfiction i imagine. It does not disappoint. Theres also a sequel fic in the works although currently it’s on a break, but it is also just as good as the original.

Second of all is actually a series, Heart and soul by post_it_notes7. This is another game/anime crossover but in an interesting twist. The premise is that Meta Knight, long before the events of Krbay, sought to fight galacta knight in order to become stronger and hopefully defeat nightmare. He does this, and galacta is resealed. Now in the present, nightmare has been defeated by Kirby, and all is good and well, right? NOPE, galacta knight has escaped his seal and is out to reclaim his title as the strongest warrior in the galaxy. Its technichally NOT a metagala fic, it instead focuses more on a friendship between the two. Im not really a shipping person so i actually really enjoy this, their personalities clash well and they get plenty of banter. The full series combined as of now just barely beats Kirby on the flipside (not counting KotFs's sequel, Kirby's dream trials) at 310 thousand words.

Okay, chances are if youre into Kirby fanfiction you’ve already read those two, however a series you may not have seen is PinkestMenace's Planet of Possibilities, Special Treats and Rest (haha get it it spells popstar).

Now I would suggest reading most of these, but if you don’t want to read all of them theres a few key ones that are my favourites.

Control halt delete goes into meta knight’s role in Kirby planet robobot, it’s a fun, somewhat angsty fic recounting the uh, ‘modifications’ star dream and Susie put him through. Its good.

Let the games begin! Is another good one, its quite short, but a fun read.

Do Starry Knights Dream of Eternal Sleep? is a much more angsty fic, focusing on that old “meta knight is a creation of nightmare” headcanon from the anime fandom. It is a very good fic but I will warn you its got some more harsh content in it including some self-harm/loathing-adjacent moments, and as with all fanfiction I recommend reading the tags before reading. If you are comfortable with that though, it’s a great read!

Rocks Fall, Everyone Flies is by far my favourite fic in this series, its got some great character interactions and storyline. The story is reminiscent of the Kirby novels, if the Kirby novels were not childrens books and were instead horror novels. I jest, but this story does have some good spooky content and moments. Its gives good attention to all four of the dream land gang and is another great read.

Alright that’s all for the POPSTAR series, there are other fics in that series but those are the ones Im interested in, I would suggest checking out the rest of their fics however if you are interested!

Where Were the meta-knights? By purblegaymer Is one of my absolute favourites, up there with Heart and Soul. It’s a ‘missing scene’ fic, going into where the meta knights were in those episodes where they were missing, as well as giving us a look at meta knights dumb internal thoughts throughout certain episodes. It’s a long but very good read, going into meta knight’s thoughts and personality in the anime. It’s a very good read, would absolutely recommend to any anime fans.

That’s been a lot of meta knight adjacent fics, eh? Don’t worry, I’ve got other character-centric fics. For example…

Stuck With The Lor by Azzie_Tangerine Focuses on magolor after he escapes from another dimension and tries to live in the dream kingdom. However the Lor, missing its captain, decides to show up and lock magolor in his ship so it can give the poor cat some therapy. Okay that’s not ENTIRELY how it goes but it is the basic premise. The fic goes more into magolor’s guilt and experience with the master crown, creates some fun lore for the uh, Lor, and is a good exploration into how the two’s relationship. Would definitely recommend this one for any magolor fans, 100%.

How King Dedede founded Christmas by NWTGMR is both hilarious and heartwarming. I think this fic might have one of the best portrayals of dededes personality in fan content I’ve seen, with the perfect mix between big soft man and petty jerk. I would definitely recommend giving this one a read, even if it’s not Christmas you will enjoy it.

Half Blind Date by Azzie_Tangerine (again, they’ve got some good fics) is the sole reason why I ship taransusie, which is funny because as I said earlier im not very big on shipping, but this one is too good to refuse. Taransusie is kind of a rarepair in the scope of Kirby ships (definitely not the rarest, but its not too common either), but this fic is very fun nonetheless! Please don’t take a drinking game at how many times ive said the word ‘fun’ in this list so far. Anyway, very good read, would recommend if youre a fan of either taranza or Susie!

Oh, actually, while we’re here, why not recommend Books Are Stupid, Anyways!, also by Azzie_tangerine. It’s a Kirby and prince fluff fic. Very cute, nuff’ said.

Youth by katrinasis is a pre-canon story recounting how king dedede and meta knight met, its cute and pretty fun. Good read even if youre not really into metadede.

He May Even Dream Again by voidknight is a fic that focuses on… Gooey of all characters! Yeah, gooey isn’t really the star of many fics, but this one gives him the spotlight! Mostly focuses on gooey’s relationship to dark matter, its in second person but somehow manages to make it work. Its fun, its cool, perhaps its even ‘neat’. Give it a read, if you want.

The List of Things Dark Meta Knight is Forbidden To Do by WarioCart Is… a fic (I say this positively). Based on that one Scp story I think, TLoTDMKiFTD is both a mouthful to say and a great fic. Its got some good humour, and just in general really funny. If youre too bummed out by angsty fic id recommend this one.

And… That’s about it, really. There are plenty of good Kirby fanfiction out there, but that’s all I really can think of (and have time for) today.

Wait actually, before I go, I should recommend The Olde Switcheroo by TripleMK, its another game/anime crossover but it focuses on dedede, its currently in the works but has updated recently. It’s a good one!

[merwgue]

Azriel & Rhysand: The Self-Hating Illyrians? Let’s Talk About That…

Alright, so let's dive into something that’s been bugging me for a while: the way Azriel and Rhysand talk about Illyrians—and how it mirrors their own insecurities and self-hatred toward their own race. Now, I know we all love our brooding shadowsinger and we tolerate (thats the nicest thing i can say okay???) Rhysand, but let’s call a spade a spade. These guys are racist to themselves, and it shows in how they talk about, treat, and rule Illyria.

First off, Azriel. The man has been through some serious trauma—no one is denying that. The abuse he faced as a child at the hands of his Illyrian family was horrific. But because of that, he carries this internalized hatred towards his own people. He sees Illyrians as “brutes,” and that’s not just a throwaway comment. It’s an insight into how he views himself as an Illyrian. He’s distanced himself from his race because it’s too painful for him to reconcile with what they represent to him—his own past, his pain, his trauma. Instead of embracing his heritage and trying to heal from it, he’s rejected it entirely, which is… problematic, to say the least.

Now, let’s talk about Rhysand. Yes, he’s half Illyrian, and yet, what does he do? He rules over Illyria like a colonizer. He’s constantly talking about how brutal and savage the Illyrians are, how they need to be “controlled” and “disciplined.” Sound familiar? Rhysand’s actions in Illyria are more about projecting his own insecurities about being half Illyrian than about actually ruling fairly. He’s ashamed of his heritage and so, instead of working with the Illyrians to improve things, he enforces harsh rule, stifling them instead of helping them grow.

What’s worse is that they both act like they’re doing Illyria a favor by stepping in and being these benevolent rulers. But honestly, what they’re doing is just mirroring their internalized racism. They can’t accept their own Illyrian roots, so they enforce those insecurities onto the people. Rhysand and Azriel might think they’re “better” because they’ve moved beyond the more traditional Illyrian ways, but really, they’re just turning their backs on their own heritage. And that’s not empowerment—that’s self-hatred.

Now, let’s touch on the Elriel shippers. First of all, ship whoever you want—I’m not here to police your ships. But what I am here to say is this: erasing Azriel’s Illyrian identity to fit into a certain romantic narrative is just wrong. Part of what makes Azriel, Azriel, is his struggle with his own identity. It’s his journey of trying to reconcile the trauma of his past with the culture he comes from. There’s depth there, and it’s a storyline that needs resolution, not erasure.

Some Elriel shippers think that in his potential book (if SJM ever gives it to them), Azriel should fully distance himself from Illyria, take off his tattoos, and basically reinvent himself into a whole new character. Excuse me, but what? That’s not character growth, that’s character erasure. The Illyrian tattoos are a symbol of his heritage, his connection to his people. Sure, he has a lot of complicated feelings about Illyria because of his past, but that doesn’t mean the answer is to remove all traces of it from his life.

You can’t just “remove” your culture. It’s something you’re born into, something that shapes you, whether you like it or not. It’s tied to your ancestors, your lineage. For Azriel to fully come to terms with who he is, he has to accept that, yes, he’s Illyrian. He can’t get over that by erasing it—he has to embrace it, faults and all, and move forward. That’s what real growth would look like.

By pushing for Azriel to cut ties with Illyria entirely, some of these shippers are promoting a racist narrative, whether they realize it or not. It’s saying that Azriel can only be worthy of love or redemption if he fully removes himself from the culture that raised him. And that’s just wrong. His identity crisis is not something that should be “fixed” by wiping the slate clean. It should be something he works through, learns from, and ultimately accepts as part of himself.

In fact, if we want real character development, Azriel’s arc should focus on him embracing his Illyrian heritage, understanding that while there are negative aspects of his past, that doesn’t define all of Illyria or his future. His story shouldn’t end with him running away from his culture, but with him reclaiming it on his own terms. The Illyrian culture, with all its flaws, is still his culture, and rejecting it completely would mean rejecting a core part of who he is. Instead of distancing himself further, Azriel needs to find a way to reconcile with the Illyrian identity, maybe even becoming a figure of change within his own race. Rather than mirroring the oppressive behavior of Rhysand, who seeks to control and stifle the Illyrians, Azriel could be the bridge that finally helps Illyria evolve into something better—something that preserves the strength of its people while discarding the more harmful traditions.

Imagine an arc where Azriel not only accepts his heritage but becomes a leader for Illyrian reform, where he champions education, equality, and opportunity for both the males and the females of his race. That would be growth. That would be healing. And let’s be honest, Azriel’s character needs that kind of closure after all the trauma he’s been through. But it has to come from a place of embracing who he is, not trying to erase it.

Now, coming back to Rhysand for a second—his treatment of Illyria is a whole other can of worms. It’s easy to label him as a progressive leader because of how he treats some of his people (read: his Inner Circle), but his actions toward the Illyrians tell a different story. Rhysand rules Illyria through fear and force, much like the High Lords he claims to be better than. He keeps the Illyrians in line with brute power, allowing their wings to be clipped, their women to be oppressed, and their men to be locked into a cycle of violent traditions. And let’s not forget, he’s never really done anything to truly help the Illyrians rise above their current state. Instead, he’s more focused on maintaining control over them, making sure they don’t challenge his authority.

Rhysand’s rule in Illyria is a dictatorship, no matter how you spin it. He pretends to be “freeing” people, but what he’s actually doing is ensuring they stay under his thumb. And Azriel, who has internalized so much hatred for his own race, is complicit in this. He doesn’t push for change or reform because he’s too caught up in his own disdain for his heritage. In a way, Rhysand and Azriel’s attitudes toward Illyria are two sides of the same coin. Rhysand rules it with an iron fist, and Azriel, with his internalized racism, sees that as justified.

Let’s also not forget the dynamic between Rhysand and Azriel within the Inner Circle itself. The Night Court, while seemingly “progressive,” is built on a hierarchy that’s not so different from the oppression they claim to fight. Rhysand keeps a tight leash on his friends, and Azriel, with all his inner conflict and loyalty, falls in line. His insecurities about his heritage make him more susceptible to Rhysand’s control because, in a way, Azriel believes he’s lesser. He believes he’s damaged because of his past, and that allows Rhysand to subtly manipulate him, never pushing him to embrace his Illyrian roots, because that would threaten the order Rhysand has established.

Which brings us back to the issue with the fandom. There are fans out there who, for some reason, want Azriel to completely erase his Illyrian identity, thinking it’s part of his “growth.” But how is denying where you come from, and what shaped you, growth?

The idea that Azriel could just “remove” the Illyrian part of himself and somehow become a better character is incredibly damaging. It promotes the idea that you can (and should) sever ties with your roots if they’re painful or complicated. But that’s not how real people heal, and it’s not how characters should evolve either. If anything, Azriel should be diving deeper into his Illyrian heritage, understanding that while there’s darkness there, there’s also strength and resilience—and that’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.

In the end, what Azriel needs isn’t to “get over” being Illyrian. He needs to accept it, embrace it, and find a way to redefine what it means to him. And Rhysand, for all his posturing as a forward-thinking High Lord, needs to stop ruling Illyria with fear and suppression, and instead, actually help his people rise up. Otherwise, they’re both just perpetuating a cycle of self-hatred and control that benefits no one, least of all themselves.

Ty @shadowqueenjude for the idea pookster

[tpher]

scary girl analysis !

something something the most clearly gimmicky gen 4 character we know. as your resident pahkitew island apologist, i dont care. it actually took me a bit to warm up to her and i figured id talk abt why that is

so her main thing is being creepy and sadistic for the sake of jokes. its not serious.. mostly. she does prove to actually be down to hurt others (such as when she got a hold of a jackhammer). but what about an instance where she wanted to hurt someone for actual reasons? when was that?

that was when priya went up to her to compliment her on doing a good job on the previous challenge. priya says that shes surprised by scary girl having done a good job.

scary girls response?

a very defensive "oh, it surprised you that i was good? cuz you thought id do bad?"

and thats the thesis of this post

scary girl is very insecure

backing up for a moment, in ep 2 when the teams were on ships and attacking each other, she was the one who came up with the idea of sinking the other teams ship as an idea on what to do when they were out of ammo (? iirc). but no one else heard that, just zee

then in ep 3, ripper makes her go last in the relay race thing bc he didnt want her to "blow things" for the team. she reacts by trying to bite his finger. not with a funny creepy smile, but with genuine anger to her literal bite. and then during that challenge, she infamously grabs a bear by the arm and starts beating it up while saying "thats what you get for growling at me!!!". once shes done, she goes "byeee" and goes on like nothing happened. proving that if someone wrongs her, she can easily let it go.. so long as she gets to do something back. remember this for later

and here we come back to her interaction with priya. so far, scary girl has proven herself to be a pretty alright player and she herself knows that. so the notion of someone being SURPRISED she did well?? does not sit well with her at all. but the way that she harps on the wording, even before zee steps in to make it worse, is what gets to me. it just really adds an extra layer to her character that, well. ironically surprised me! for someone who always seems to be in her own world, so unconventional, so ill-fitting with everyone else to also be insecure in some capacity?

anyway she tries to hurt priya with a spoon but gets interrupted. later on, priya is still thinking abt their encounter and feels bad so she tries to make it up to scary girl by flattering her. namely by saying that scary girls question was smart.. and priya being her awkward self, only dug herself in a hole by making it seem like that was a smart question by scary girls standards

scary girl is speechless. baffled. mad beyond words

it should be noted that scary girl looked offended when priya even started speaking. meaning that she also did not forget about their conversation that morning. she REALLY took it to heart. applying the bear logic here, had scary girl hurt her with the spoon earlier, would she be less mad? would she had considered each other even? and in that case, would this comment go over better or would it had simply restarted her need for revenge?

well. they dont interact for the rest of the episode up until the very end. after ripper used priya as a human shield, obviously injuring her

scary girl tells her that rippers a jerk and that priya didnt deserve that. so she'll be voting to get ripper out. and calls priya her "friend".

(her face and tone makes me a bit suspicious if this was genuine. but thats probably just her being her offputting self so i'll ignore it.) ok so by scary girl logic, priya deserved to have SOMETHING bad coming her way after what she said to her.

but not this.

scary girl, who came here to "make friends and watch them get really hurt", was not okay with what ripper did to priya. perhaps she thinks that only she could be allowed to hurt priya to balance things out? personally giving priya her karma, perhaps?

but now she considers priya a "friend". who likely wants to see her get hurt. but in the fun way that scary girl likely sees most other contestants as, possibly? idk.

anyway after all of that, we can see just how insecure scary girl can get over unintentionally awkward phrasing. just how deeply it hurts her feelings to be underestimated like that

season 2 spoilers ahead !!!

in season 2, we see even less of her. but there is SO much to work with

normal girl is so fascinating to me

by the time s2 starts, scary girl already has an all new look. shes trying to be "normal"

she admits in her confessional that some ppl thought she was too scary in the first season so thats why she changed her appearance and her everything. who were these ppl?

other than a dog as a joke, online forums, showing an interesting glimpse into the in-universe ""real world"" stepping into total drama. perhaps also a meta joke on the fandoms response to her but who knows. imagine unabashedly being yourself on tv and everyone is telling you to change. you are 16 and likely going through a weird phase. feeling a lot of heightened emotions already and ""knowing"" that this is who you are (at the moment). and if its not a phase? still 16 on international television getting lambasted by millions

and last but not least, her MOM??? her own mother. that just raises more questions abt how scary girl was before getting on td. was she NOT like this before? was she playing it up for the cameras? or did she just go unhinged without parental supervision? in any case the fact is that even her own mom wasnt okay with what makes her happy and how she presented herself.

so scary girls solution? to try her best to suppress anything that made her unique. to try to adhere to "societal norms", in her own words.

we dont see much of her in this ep other than her commenting on how shes normal and totally did not want to see someone get hurt. shes clearly struggling so bad. she knows that apparently what she likes isnt "right", therefore the opposite must be true, right?

she is simultaneously so immediately different that the others didnt even recognize her at first. yet still so "scary" that she cant fit in. she just doesnt know how no matter how hard she tries. if she were to stay longer, what can she do? this game is not only abt your skills in the challenges its also a social thing. how long until she snapped and went back to her old ways?

and then we get to the campfire ceremony. chef is about to call out whatever it was the she did wrong that day, but she interrupts him with a simple "no."

she cannot fathom being sent home, at least not this early. bc shes normal! she is sooo normal and she tried SO HARD to be normal! she read normal books and normal movies and studied normal people. she even taught herself to smile in a more acceptable way, which is so autistic coded to me. so she deserves to stay longer.

(getting flashbacks to my topher psychoanalysis and his entitlement being both a tragedy and his self-imposed downfall)

..but she studied "normal people" in her own not-normal way. while they werent looking. while they were sleeping. while they had no idea she was there.

so she got booted out for that. and she cannot believe it.

when she says that she "didnt even try to hurt anyone this time", she is mad. that was her ""fun"" and she managed to control it 100% only to get eliminated??? shes fed up!

but when she talks about how she taught herself how to smile in a "less-creepy" way?

she softens up and looks genuinely hurt.

she tried so hard. she saw all those horrible comments from people judging her based on like 5 episodes on a reality show. her own mother didnt accept her. her insecurity won and she aimed to change and repress everything that made her unique

and it still wasnt enough

[that-starry-freak]

Okay chat let's do this

....

Sunset would protect him and keep him away from moon and he'd be dry and calm but he'd be good fo sssun and would treat him right because he's tired of the mistreatment of suns!!

Okay woah. Now we've got the exact opposite

Lord eclipse would make fun if him for succumbing to such a fate. Hed see him as a lesser eclipse and treat him like a servant too, maybe even worse than ssun. Thered always be an underlining self-hatred in it. And servant eclipse couldn't do anything against it, but he'd be increasingly frustrated as seeing an eclipse who won and being treated like this

It'd be so so toxic-

... im really trying to figure out how I want to go with this, uhm...

Yknow what, no, I'm going to be ambiguous because I loce aus where they're twins and aus where they arnt, soo-

2 halves of one whole. They understand each other better than anyone. They love to play and fight and joke. Harvest knows how to reel bloody in. They're silly and chaotic

God this wheel really likes shadowplanet, fuck-

Uhm- earth could help him through his trauma. She could help to convince him to give up the star before it consumed him (in an ideal world). She could help him right his wrongs and discover himself not as v2 Eclipse, but as himself. As who he is. He was always the "calmer: of the 4 eclipses I think. He was just lonely and hurting, and I think earth could help with that

Oh my god

Little moon and big moon. Tiny soft edgy and big soft calm. Kc could understand finding who you are and could help nexus with it. Also snjansjs imagine him nestled in his big ass lao bro. So comfy. He could also help him learn about himself. Very fluffy

... mother and sun

Using Alex's Solarflare of course

But yeah, mother and sun

Toxic. So much pain and hate. Like Lord Eclipse x Old Moon but Eclipse is helpless,, he doesn't have the star. They hate each other but its okay because- uh- who says people who hate each other can't kiss, huh?

Also @zthesheep hey its your ship!!

I actually don't have any thoughts son this other than lunar would make fun of him for his British accent, they would playtogether, and ruin is taller than him

Ahhhh solarsun my love

Solar's trauma of losing his sun, desperate not to lose this one. Sun nervous when it comes to relationships.

hey should hold hands and kiss <3

Aannndd thats all of them!!

[shipsational]

OH YEAH WYBIE I meant to send an ask for him too fjdghjfdh What made you self ship with him post movie? Is Coraline still around? I'm very curious for any bit of post-movie world building you've done

thank you emile for my life 🙏

Okay! to your questions: aging him up was actually for Plot reasons, as you'll see in a moment, Yes she is around and bitch she does Not like me lmao

at first i Didnt age him up cause im problematic but then when i started working out an actual plot for the ship, i kinda Had to

the way i have it worked out is i needed him to inherit his grandmother's properties so he was in charge of the pink palace, which obviously he could only do as an adult, because otherwise there would be no way for me to actually rent there since the jones' moved in- there was always an empty unit in the other half of the house, but i think she always left that one empty on purpose cause there's something Evil and Wrong about it, since thats where the door Should be opening up if it didnt lead to a fucked up fae realm or whatever it is, connecting coraline's unit to the one that stays empty of that makes sense

but maybe, even knowing about the beldam, wybie didnt know That specifically, and he really needed to get some money in to help pay for the funerary expenses, so he opened it up.

as for my insert, they actually Work at the funeral home, they're a mortician, and they do taxidermy as a hobby. this is useful for a few reasons: they could either have met wybie and found out about the palace that way, or maybe they know forcible and spink and actually do all the taxidermy on their 50 billion dogs- its also useful for the ship name 'little dead things', which is part of one of his quotes, as well as the dead dove nature of the ship (altho its really only kinda problematic now cause he's like 18, instead of being Truly bad)

speaking of, since it is still kinda problematic- he's freshly an adult and im 30 and coraline does Not like that One Bit, and you know what thats fair its pretty weird i cannot blame her for being uncomfortable about it

now all of this is going on, and im moving into the unit thats all fucked up, something about layered realities and lingering evil and all that, its kind of vague and amorphous

but i think it would be fun and neat and terrible if its starts really affecting me- im essentially being haunted here. it doesnt start out v bad at all, but while im getting closer to wybie, coraline is getting more upset about it, which in turn can lead to arguments between them and between me and her, as well as me starting to feel guilty about it all, basically working up a storm of negative energy, and thats when it all starts to kick in and eventually amp up

since the well is supposed to be a portal between worlds, im of the mind that they basically just put her hand right back where it was before in her domain, and its taken a few years bout the beldam is back babey- the door and well might be sealed, but she still has some influence over my apartment and she's really feeding off the negativity and she wants Revenge

so basically, im being haunted by a vengeful entity and im surrounded by dead things as decoration, and im in the middle of a frustrating battle with the neighbor over her friend who im having a complicated relationship blooming up

[venjt]

A form of SH? (Self-harm?)

I wouldn't say it's a form of self-harm. Actually, the opposite! It's a form of self-care! From my experience and from friends' experiences, it's a coping mechanism that helps with our trauma. If antis, think we're making fun of the problematic themes that's far, far from truth, and a very harsh thing to think! If people make fun of problematic situations, then that's a problem, and I wouldn't want to associate myself with such a person.

I hope Antis knows that proships are against harassment in general and respect others with different opinions. (Or they should be. That's the definition, lol.) If a proshipper is threatening you, then they're just a shit person and don't belong in a no harassment zone while harassing. Yet somehow, I often see antis like to use their catchphrase "KYS" all the time. I find such attitude to be awful no matter proship/anti/neutral whatever. Harassment is bad. No one deserves to be called a "good person" if someone says awful things to other human beings.

But like I said, it's a selfcare kind of activity in fiction. It's a safe way to control or explore the dark themes in fiction. It's a healthy way to express the trauma without hurting oneself or others. Some antis don't know this, but when you've experienced trauma, it has to come out somehow one way or another. People don't necessarily HAVE to like dark themes to express or cope with their trauma. Everyone copes differently. Some happen to enjoy / cope with taboo subjects in the fictional space. Which there is no shame. Your fictional taste does not reflect your morals (obviously, lol).

This brings me to another topic, Antis, who believes that if a proship likes the taboo subjects in fiction (ex: incest, age gap, what else? Victim and murder? Lol, there's so much that antis doesn't like.), that it means they like it in real life. That's, again, untrue. Your fictional interest doesn't mean you like it in real life. So that brings the question, "Why do they like it in fiction then?". Well, like I said before, often, it's a coping mechanism. Other times, people just like it in the fictional world. Perhaps there's more or less to it, but it's not anyone's job to understand the why. And if you find it uncomfortable thats complety valid! There are some things I find uncomfortable. That's when we have the power to block and remove ourselves from looking and reading things that we are not okay with. LITERALLY. Like we don't have to intrude a "problematic" artists media if we KNOW what they draw! Or read something that says "non-con warning" or anything WITH a WARNING SIGN THATS THE POINT OF WARNING SIGNS AAAH ⚠️

My thing is, if you're a nice person who respects others and doesn't harm others, then you're good in my book lol I don't understand furries, but if they never hurt a person or never been disrespectful to your surroundings then you're gucci. I have some friends who I don't understand their fictional world, but they've been nothing but sweet to me. Who am I to judge their fictional interest if they as a person treat me better than many other actual human beings lol

Also

Proshippers are aware of what's right and what's wrong in real life. We don't like predators, or incest, or victim x murderers in real life. DUH! Antis, we're on the same page. We don't like those kinds of people! We keep telling them, but somehow, many of them can't differentiate reality and fiction, which to me I find that to be a very, VERY big problem in today's time. If the line of fiction and reality is blurred, then how can people express their creative freedom without having to take a chance of being a "problematic person" or getting accused of harsh things. Also HOW YA GONNA FACE REALITY WHEN RENT IS DUE NEXT WEEK?! If a person is a problem to another human being, then that's valid to stand up and speak out. Uh, with evidence ofc. Don't just spread around "so and so is a Predat0r because they like so and so ship." Fiction isn't evidence. People will look at you weird if you claim a person is a problem and provide a drawing of Plantcest LMAO. People are gonna be confused why you're showing a drawing to them.

Policing others on what's right and wrong in a FICTIONAL SPACE like that's a problem itself! They're fighting ghost problems and threatening REAL PEOPLE for their interests, and that doesn't sound like a healthy space for anyone. Activism is good, but to the fictional space where it doesn't affect people in their day to day life if very concerning. Hence, why people say "touch grass".

Not every proshippers are good people. Just like not every antis are good people. Every group have their problems. This whole black and white view is unrealistic. No one is perfect. No victim is perfect. No "unproblematic" person is perfect. The world is grey or as I like the world is rainbow.

This is very long lol

In conclusion, proshippers aren't self harming for indulging dark themes. It's a self-help (many therapists would recommend it). Self-harm is threatening others and policing others what YOU think is okay or not. Self harm is also avoiding your trauma and avoiding your fictional interest because others pressure you to think how they do. You're a person with your own mind. Allow yourself to express how you do and don't let others tell you how to think, feel, and tell you what to do. You're human. I'm human.

FICTION ≠ REALITY and be kind to each other! There's more to life than to get mad over what others like lol take a chill pill and think about what you want to make of this world!

Okay, have a great day, yall!

[dotster001]

Hey! Congrats on your 1k followers! Going to give your a event a try. Keep up the great work. You are doing a great job! Let's do romantic Twst if thats okay. My first pick was Jade, he reminds me of another video game character. That character? That character is Loki from Devil Survivor Overclock. He did everything for his own amusment. Great game. I had Jade around for a while until Leona showed up. Though I sent Leona back because he is housewarden and Ruggie cant run the dorm for him. Jamil is curently with me on break from Kalim. I think about them all. But I also want them to focus and take care of themselves before come running to me. About me? I like a lot things, but I like ships most of all. In fact give me a chance and I will tell you the history naval warfare. Not just big ships interest me, small ones too. I tend to be a mother hen of my friends. I love animals, its just bugs I'm not very fond of. I think I would be on good terms with Jade and Leona. Might be fun to try a harem with the three of them. Oh I can see this one being a crack fic.

(Hope you like it, boo! It is a chaotic group, but I can also see similar traits that could work to make it better or worse depending on the day 😂)

In this Harem, We Self Care; A tale where Jamil, Leona, and Jade have to get their Shit Together

Three men stood outside of Ramshackle, glaring at each other. Jade held a single rose in his hand, and though his face was the calmest of the three, the stem was dangerously close to snapping. Leona held a gift bag that was full of things that probably cost more than both of the other boy's existence combined. Jamil had brought himself, he knew he was enough. But that didn't mean he didn't have the urge to throw the other two's gifts into the lake.

After a long tense stare down, the door opened. Grim looked at the three in shock, then rolled his eyes.

"It happened!" He yelled inside before leaving the dorm.

You came happily running down the stairs. "All three of you on the same day! I'm so happy! Sit. Sit."

Seeing your happy smile was worth having to deal with the other two. The three men sat on the tiny Ramshackle couch, shoulders touching, and resisted the urge to elbow each other.

"Okay," you said. "Who wants to go first?"

Leona stood up abruptly, tossed the gift bag at Jamil, and threaded his fingers with your, tapping one of your knuckles as he listed things off.

"I did all my paperwork, started regular therapy, did my homework, went to class, went to practice, and called my nephew three times."

You pulled a hand away and cupped his cheek. "I'm so proud of you Leona, good boy."

Then you pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He turned to sit back down with a smug smile at the other two boys. Jamil stood up abruptly, tossing the bag back at Leona.

"I had a discussion about my feelings with Kalim, started regular therapy, took up some offers to split the extensive work I have, and have built a self care day into my weekly schedule."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a soft kiss. "I'm so proud of you Jamil."

With his heart beating at 3 million miles a minute he sat back down.

The stem of the rose had snapped while he had sat there, but he knew he could work with that. He stood, put the rose behind your ear, then gracefully took your hand, pressing a delicate kiss to the back of your fingers.

"I delegated my extraneous work out to other students, scheduled a meditational walk into my day, set a reasonable sleep schedule, and spent some time doing things I love."

You nuzzled your nose against his, then kissed him.

"I'm so proud of you, Jade."

He gave a pleased hum and sat back down. All three men watched you in anticipation as you smiled like the sun.

"I just, you have no idea how happy I am! When I told you we should take a break until you learn to take care of yourselves, I had no idea you'd do so well! And you all came back to me on the same day? Wow, I just love you boys so much!"

"And we love you," Jamil said, probably a little too loudly, as he stood up and wrapped you in a hug, running his fingers through your hair, and pressing your face to himself. 

Nowhere to look but him, he thought to himself smugly.

"Yes, we'd do anything for our beloved herbivore," Leona stood up, looking for a way in to take you from Jamil. Finding none, he sighed and just decided to make it a group hug in order to get some contact with you.

"That said," Jade mused, "I believe the reward for the first person to take significant steps to take care of themselves, and make moves to heal, would be the sole recipient of your cuddles and affection for an entire week."

"Well, which one of you got here first?"

"I did." Three voices rang out unanimously, followed by arguing sounds

"Hey!" You shouted and the room went silent. "Okay, you all arrived at the same time so you'll each get a week. As to the order, I'm thinking of a number between one and five."

Jamil and Leona groaned, but Jade smiled. He always knew what number you'd pick. And the other two knew it.

"Three I guess," Leona groaned.

"Four," Jamil said.

"It's two," Jade said, and you nodded. He victoriously claimed his prize, by passionately kissing you. When he pulled away, he smiled sweetly at the other two, and said,

"Gentlemen, your services are no longer required," then he pointed at the door as you tried to hide an innocent giggle.

The other two sighed and walked out. Once outside the door, Jamil muttered, "I hate pick a number."

"Agreed," Leona groaned.

[caddy-crystal-queen]

So apparently there are marvel fans that need to be slapped...welp I need something to bitch about while I wait for House of the Dragon to come back on so why the fuck not?

So...on this mornings episode of fans that need to be slapped: Some Loki Fans.

Oh I'm not gonna make any friends with this one but I think that's okay because there's VERY little in the MCU that I care about (really only Moon Knight and maybe Dr. Strange...).

Anyway...

Let me just start this off by saying if you're a loki/mobius shipper or a loki/sylvie shipper who dumps on either side's ship, congrats, you're officially an asshole!

"Oh I'm SaD tHaT mY sHiP iSn'T cAnOn, BuT aT lEaSt YoU dIdNt GeT wHaT yOu WaNtEd EiThEr!!!!"

*slaps, clean in the face, Back. Of. The. Hand!*

Congratulations you're a fucking asshole! There's your prize!

What the hell even are you? Five years old? You're fighting over ships like they're fucking toys instead of, gee, I don't know, FICTIONAL. FUCKING. CHARACTERS! Get a fucking grip, seriously.

Grow. The fuck. Up.

This bullshit right here is what's killing Fandom right now. It's not the lack of support for artists, but the Fandom is tearing each other down over insignificant bullshit that doesn't even fucking matter. Do you really have nothing going on in your life to the point where you have to shit on things other people like? You realize that makes you a bully right? Is your life seriously so fucking boring that you take delight in this childish nonsense? God's I can't wait for some of yall to hit your 30s so hopefully you'll see what an idiot you were...

Because look, no matter whether you ship Loki/Mobius or Loki/Sylvie, here's a little truth nugget for ya. Come here, I'll whisper it in your ear...

NEITHER OF YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED!!!!!!!!

Happy now?

Congrats, all of you should be/are fucking miserable. All of you should be pissed and burning the showrunners in effigy! I know I fucking would if I thought this shit mattered that much.

And I don't wanna hear any bullshit about how "Oh well sylki is wrong because self-cest" or some bullshit. I don't care. Keep your bullshit ass "morality" out of Fandom. I've said it many times on this blog and I will continue to say it: Fandom activities DO NOT determine one's morality. Use. Your. God. Damn. Brain!

And even if you wanna play the stupid morality card: well wasn't mobius apart of an organization that was actively against the free will of everyone in the MCU? Like seriously, he's not that innocent either. I don't know the dudes backstory and I don't care to know it, but in my eyes thats a little fucking worse in my opinion.

Look the point is, neither of you guys got what you wanted, the ending was disappointing, and this is why I don't watch most TV anymore. Ever since the ending of GoT, happy endings in media have become increasingly rare. I'm beginning to wonder if they're even really allowed anymore at this point. I'm sorry but I really think the Loki Fandom needs to come together and support each other rather than tearing each other down over nonsense that doesn't even matter and kicking each other while they're down is seriously shitty behavior.

Because seriously, that shit is why people are leaving Fandoms and actively killing them.

Anyway yeah, you guys needed a slap and a big fucking reality check. Peace and love, I'm out peeps.

[officialgleamstar]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank u for the tag @cerealmonster15 :] sorry for forcing you into tagging me and then FORGETTING TO DO IT ONCE I GOT OFF WORK but insomnia is killing me tonight sooo tag game time :3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

127 fics on my account, and then 130 anonymous fics, and two? maybe three? orphaned fics lol

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

826,251! getting close to 1 mil... maybe that should be a writing goal for this year :0

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently its oxventure all the way down, baby bfdjgfdhhj i have a few dndads fics im still working on though, and i have an aftg fic im working on for an event right now as well! i need to... make sure i finish that on time, actually

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

they aaare mostly anonymous LOL but! for fics i list, these ones. the way that three of these are from 2017 and 2018... i know that makes sense because theyve had more time to accumulate kudos and also are for more popular fandoms but :') man 1. Cleaning Up - Haikyuu!! - 908 kudos 2. heart under your sleeve - 3rd Life - 616 kudos 3. four am - All For the Game - 502 kudos 4. his soul - Empires SMP, 3rd Life - 391 kudos 5. "Are you dense, or do you just not know how to say no?" - All For the Game - 288 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes i do!!! im bad at it, but i do :D

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

just like cereal, i dont write much angst, but probably you know i love you, right? or these feelings, they're not gone :0

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of my fics are disgustingly sweet and sappy so its hard to judge

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have a few times but not enough to be a trend, lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yeah lol if i cant write pet play and/or breeding kink i wither up and die. who said that

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

just once! (can you kiss me more) absolutely beloved

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

two times that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah lol someone translated a handful of my old rpf fics into russian :]

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah, but never a finished fic

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

you simply cannot make me choose. you cant make me choose. please.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Divorced Dad Rock Mix you are everything to me but chapter 3 thru 6 are probably never seeing the light of day

16. What are your writing strengths?

im really good at telling a compelling story in a very small amount of word :] also, SPEED WRITING. i can write very quickly when i put my mind to it!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

im so awful at ending fics just absolutely dogshit at it

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

its . writing dialogue in another language, i guess? lol its fine

19. First fandom you wrote for?

pokemon or harry potter i think. maybe my little pony or minecraft. or world of warcraft but i think that was later? id have to dig through my deviantart and i dont feel like it lol

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

god that is a hard question to answer, i love all of my fics a lot bfdgfjhdbghjd i think... the first fic to come to mind was, naturally, my beloved your love is tried and true-blue. normscary <333 AND my glennry soulmate fic as well, so where do we begin? hmmm... the johnny spells thing comes from a very personal space, and its a fic that i thought about for literal years, so its very near and dear to me in that sense as well. and on our dates, it's never daytime is a super self-indulgent fic that i reread a lot because its so perfectly targeted at myself lol same thing for fall (back) in and i love mine, mine, mine for more recent examples. uh. okay thats a lot of rambling LOL those i guess :3

tagging: hmmmmm @bidoofenergy and @cookies-over-yonder i think!!! have fun guys

[kalocart]

IEYTD characters and Y/N that has anxiety

Platonic, romantic, take it as you will.

The Handler

He has had his fair share of scares in his field days. But also has had to handle agents panicking in life or death situations.

Would make you some tea and let you talk about it.

If theres no particular reason as to why your in such state, then he reassures you that it's okay.

Of you need silence, he'll give you that, need something to put your mind off of it? He can do that also.

If you ever get a panic attack he would hug you if near by or would calm you down via ear piece if he's far.

Whatever you need he will try his best to help, for thats his job as a handler.

"Whatever you need, im here for you"

Hivemind

Probably the first time he's had to help you with it.

Man is a bit crazed so forgive him for not seeing the signs earlier.

Assuming that you dont mind bees or even might like them considering weather you work or date him. He would get a couple of his bees to swarm you but not harm you in hopes to calm you down with the sound of buzzing.

Would probably bring honey flavored things to you to sheer you up.

Need a distraction, he will talk about the beuty of the bees.

If you get a Panic attack he would be extremely worried. Like get his bees away from you (for the safety of both) and will panic a bit calling out for you. Maybe think your sick or poisoned.

Once he realizes he might call doctor zor for help since he's the closest to a medical profecional.

In the end hes hugging you on the floor affirming you.

"Everything is fine, everything's going to be fine, me and my bees are here for you"

Comander Solaris

She would notice you being a bit more fidgety then normal as you two talk about the latest ship.

She would ask if you wanna talk about it and if not she would ask how she could help.

She would probably give you her desert food ration.

If you get a panic attack, worst in space, she will try to ground you.

If its during a space walk to fix the ship, she will help you and calm you down, maybe give you confidence.

"Y/n. Y/n! Listen. I know you can go through with this, you are part of the team we will be here by your side when you need us"

John Juniper

He can spot it from a mile away.

Its not from personal experience, more of him seeing it on other actors.

He might boast about how he's never experienced it and the show must go on.

But he would still help a fellow member of the cast crew.

Idk he gives me the hunch that if its one of those times where you get anxiety with no reason he would think its stupid but maybe keep it to himself because he doesn't want to make it worst.

He would help you with breathing exercises and telling you he believes in you, weather you just draw up the curtains or one of the actors.

God forbade that you get a panic attack during a live show, worst if your an actor.

He would be frustrated, you signed up for this! The show must go on!

But still, he would grab you by the shoulders and pep you up.

"Listen, you were picked for this roll, and you cant back out now. I trust the producers choice of you being the best for the role. Not better than me but still. I need you to take a deep breath in, and out... okay? Now go out there!"

The fabricator

Depending on how close you are to her.

If its just in the area of work colleagues she wouldn't care. As long as you do your work correctly then its okay.

But if your friends with her its a diferent situation.

Probably take you to a spa for manipeties.

And if you have a panic attack shes preped for any last minute mishap.

She has make up to hide any puffy eyes, hair products for hair, sewing kit on hand.

She would fix you up once you've calmed down. No friend of hers will go out looking like they came out of a tornado.

"Listen, your y/n, and im the fabricator, we are beutiful as we are deadly. The others should think twice of what they say or do to us. Unless they want their watches to self destruct"

Dr. Zor

Genuenly they would not give two shits about your anxiety. Depending on how useful you are they might even prescribe you drugs so you can shut the fuck. (If your on medication then its okay, but mind you, your getting these from a listened psychiatrist who is catering your needs and doses. Dr.zor isnt one and they are an evil dentist so I see them prescribing people random opiets to see what works to shut them up)

But if you get them to actually care for you then its a diferent story

They would have a weighed blanket.

If the anxiety is from fear of dentists they would happily do your treatments personally.

Some tea, relaxing piano, and if you want to they would gladly listen to you or by request would talk about his plans. Maybe ask you for help on simple tasks.

If you ever get a Panic Attack they would go to you and try their best to calm them down. Wrapping you with the weight blanket and tell you to take deep breaths.

"Do not worry, for as long as your with me, nothing will hurt you"

Extra

Agent Phoenix (wasnt gonna add them since technically their us like a y/n but why not)

They do not fear death but understands that others don't have such luxury.

They would try to make you laugh with telekinesis and doing dumb shit.

Although sometimes will make it worst with all the bold stuff they do.

They barely talk, almost not at all but you still know their intentions.

They may spill a bunch of tea using their telekinesis to pour you a cup.

Genuenly the only thing they would be worried of is them being the reason for you getting more anxious or worst giving you a panic attack.

They would calm you down by giving you random stuff that they think you would like, either a sandwish, some tea, one of their golden scorpions. Usually you would get a mess on you but they give them to you by hand in fear of accidentally making a mess.

Like always they calm you in silence.

Idk how to seperate my coment thing so here you go in chat. I hope I didn't messed up in a way, I didn't see any IEYTD head canons so I wanted to put my two scents.

I didnt include characters from the third game since I haven't finished playing it, still looking for the figurine in the 4th level.

I'll try to include them next time, but for now I hope you guys enjoyed this

[elidelochans]

One thing that makes me laugh is when people have said that in Azriel’s bonus chapter, the part with Elain, made them uncomfortable, e/riel’s will say we can’t handle kink or what should we expect of a 500 year old man. Azriel’s bonus chapter wasn’t even kinky. Silver Flames wasn’t kinky either. If anything, Manon & Dorian’s sex scenes in Empire of Storms and Kingdom of Ash were more kinky than Silver Flames and that bonus chapter. What made people uncomfortable was the lack of depth and romance. Azriel’s self shame and how he kept talking about Elain felt like some purity kind of thing, if that makes sense, was weird. (I don’t know how to explain it in words but it makes sense in my head). Azriel is supposedly in love with Elain, but if you take away the sexual attraction/lust we got nothing. Nothing about if he had actual romantic feelings for Elain, about her as a person, what he knows about her other than she likes to bake and garden and she’s beautiful.

E/riel’s say they’re close friends and have a deep connection, but we didn’t get anything about that. Not if they had deep/meaningful conversations or spent a lot of time together. It’s in literal text that it had never gone anywhere beyond glances and brushes of their fingers. If Elain was trying to be a spy (like e/riel’s love to claim) we would have also gotten something about that. And the necklace was a generic gift. It was superficial. If it wasn’t, he wouldn’t have given it away. The necklace wasn’t anything deep.

“Azriel and Elain want each other,” all I got was Azriel wanted her out of lust and jealousy and we don’t know if Elain wanted him out of lust/as a rebound for Graysen or if she actually has romantic feelings for him. We didn’t get her pov so we don’t know. Azriel didn’t stand up to Rhys or say that he’s starting to develop romantic attraction to her. If he told Rhys that (or alluded to having genuine feelings), I’m sure his brother would’ve been more understanding. There were some people who actually shipped e/riel, but after reading the bonus chapter got completely turned off from it. I think that’s saying something. Sorry for the long ask and rant.

putting my response under the keep reading cause it's long

I agree with your points. Yeah acosf, it wasn't kinky i don't believe it was ever intended to be it's just more adult and more sexually forward then the rest of acotar. There's dirty talk but that's not really kinky. Manon and Dorian's scenes in EOS/KOA you know they were up to kinky shit cause the text leads into it. Yeah it's not going to be as detailed as acosf because the entirety of tog is young adult. If it was adult we'd all need cold showers after every Manorian sex scene lmao.

Azriel was never in love with Elain. Never. It's never stated that he even has a slight romantic thought towards her. He literally just wants to fuck her thats it. End of story. Rhys even asks him this in Az's bonus chapter and Azriel hadn't thought beyond that night nor the political implications or anything. He just wants sex. Mind blowing concept but romance and sex are not mutually exclusive. You can fuck someone without being in love or without any romantic feelings whatsoever. Nesta slept with many Illyrians didn't mean she was in love with them. Helion has like nightly orgies doesn't mean he wants to date them. Sex is sex. It's not that deep.

From the context of EVERY acotar book, it seems to be that Az and Elain are just acquaintances, they're not that close. He, like the rest of the IC see the surface of Elain and nothing more. I hate that necklace for so many reasons let me tell you nonnie. First, the meaning behind a frozen flower. It's stuck in time just like that. Never growing, never learning. Which is literally what Elain is doing. Him giving her that necklace says to me that he's okay with her being like this. Never growing and finding herself the way Feyre did and Nesta was in the process of. I also hate it cause of the regifting. Sir, my guy, why are we doing this? You're suppose to be the male who doesn't need to resort to poetry and shit yet you're regifting a necklace? okay.

Azriel doesn't stand up to Rhys because he knows he's right. Risking so much, wanting to kill Lucien and leave Elain feeling like a part of her is missing til the end of her days. And for what? to get his dick wet? His view point when it comes to Elain is selfish. Regardless of how she feels towards him. Like you pointed out we have zero clues if Elain just wants sex or if she's crushing and possibly wanting a romance. If it was the later I feel so bad for her she deserves better than some male who doesn't want the same.

If Elain and Azriel were to be romantic in the books everything would be different. His bonus chapter he would've said something about his feelings, their friendship and flirting would be on page for the reader to see this. But it's not. Sorry not sorry. E/riel is a fanon ship and it will always be a fanon ship. That's not a bad thing. There's a lot of amazing fanon ships out there. For some reason alot of, not all, but aloot of E/riels seem to think their ship being fanon is a bad thing.

It's wild because no one is telling them they can't ship it. Just that it's not a canon endgame. Before acosf and the infamous Az chapter I thought, in a fanon sense, the pairing would be cute. I never thought they'd be canon. Not once. But since that bonus chapter it just gave me the ick so bad that I had to leave the ship behind.

Don't apologize for the rant! Please rant away!

[salsflore]

AUUGH I just got into self shipping and such because I realized I really love this one lil dude plaguing my mind for almost a year now

BUT THATS NOT THE POINT OF THIS, I wanted to hear about your s/o’s! I love hearing people rant so you should talk about ‘em more! Go for it!!!

HELLOO ～ sorry for the late reply anon :3 you sent this in the morning (for me) so i didn’t rlly get to sit down and answer but now that i’m here so! thank you for the free ‘gush pash’ you should totally tell me abt ur main dude too!!

err unfortunately i don’t think i will have inreresting stuff to say when it comes to these things, i don’t usually have longish posts bc i just let out my bits of hatred (love) for them everyday anyways... but recently i’ve been thinking a lot about childe (obviously. he’s my main-main f/o) and just imagining our life together and ITS SO AWFUL... theres bits of zhongli sprinkled in as well and then it gets 10x worse. i am convinced this old man will be the death of me (all the fanart of him smiling or blushing etc etc its getting to me and ruining my life)

even though i always talk about punching them exploding them whatever (its deserved) theyre both soooo so precious to me and ive loved them for ages now ^_^ i’m super excited for our anniversaries, esp mine with childe since its upcoming in a momth!! i love him so so so much (fine i’ll admit it) and he’s just super important to me... a huge comfort, he’s helped me a lot in the past 2.7? years i’ve known him — i love everything about him his lore his weird ass model his gameplay his animations his voice his quests and events and his art blah blah blah GOD i am so in love with my husband, even calling him that is enough to like fuck me up lool

if you don’t know about them (good) one is a 6,000+ year old god and the other is errr some top ranking member of an organization trying to. steal thingies from said gods... childe has tried to flood zl’s city but its okay i forgive him on zl’s behalf. um... theres a lot to get into, whatever, other than that they’re both very normal and very silly!!

[nc-vb]

Ooo that sounds nice!! Sobs I totally understand not wanting be touched by strangers tho. I can barely touch with anyone close to me 😔🤚🏻 so yeah can def relate to you, mootie

SOBS??? THATS SUCH A BUMMER WHAT THE HECK 😭🥹 I’m so sorry that’s so sucky. Time to call of work/j but yeah that’s definitely fair of you to not wanna be out in all of that

Hurray for a chill day!! Think I’m gonna do the same this weekend tbh. Might just vibe and listen to music and write some selfship lore stuffs hehe

AND YESS I AM AND OMG?? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS!!?? I used to be obsessed with him, too!! was like very much only writing for him ngl 😭💀 but yes 😈😏 i finally have selfship lore fleshed out and may be getting a shigaraki selfship comm aha poor acheron got put on the back burner for now 😭🤚🏻 I LOVE HER BUT ITS SHIGARAKI HDBDBDB

yeeeeeees it’s been such a weird thing to get over and like, I don’t even know when it started??? even my mama touching me gives me that same feeling sometimes if I’m not the one to engage in it first 🥲

Chill day went okay!! And for today’s chill day, I slept in until 3 hehehe but now I have to clean out my closet… ugh. YES WRITE LOTS OF SELF SHIP LORE ABSOLUTELYYYYY 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 tis the answer and truth to all things~

AHHH YES it was mostly in 2020-21 and I even once did a long ass headcanon post for him on my old blog (imma actually reblog it here bc it was cute and more people should enjoy him skfhsks), like I adored him AHHHH YOURE GETTING A COMM SKDJSKS ✨💕

Acheron: 🧍🏽‍♀️

SKDDJSK she’ll be waiting for you when your hyperfixation calms itself hehehe BUT I GET THIS bc before Aventurine??? I’d gotten back into Kaveh and started working on that old fic of his id planned out? But then another soggy blondie shows up and what else am I to do but indulge in him

AND ABSOLUTELY IF YOURE GONNA GET SIDETRACKED BY ANYONE, IF ITS HIM???? understandable, mhm mhm