#if you're in a relationship with someone

[infiniteorangethethird]

it's aro week so here's a quick reminder to all my fellow aros that you don't have to "make up" for being aromantic. You don't have to love your friends twice as much to "make up" for romantic attraction you don't have to have a wide family you don't have to find The One in a qpr instead. If those things are something you want, go for it! But you shouldn't have to feel forced to go into any relationship just to make your aromanticism more palatable to outsiders.

Aromanticism isn't a hole that you need to fill. Sure it's a lack of romantic attraction but it's not a lack of self. You're already full and complete, whether or not you have more or less love in other areas of life. Do what you feel is right for you, not what others expect of you.

[luxlightly]

"If you're hurt by finding out that a person you admired did something bad or are worried about the idea they might, it shows you need to not form attachments to people you don't personally know."

I have bad news for you about how literally the entirety of human socialization and the human mind work. You can say "here's a stick from off the ground. his name is Stanley and he has a loving family" and then break the stick and people will feel hurt because they formed a positive connection to Stanley. Humans project attachment onto everything. Asking people not to feel connections to other humans is not feasible. It's not possible and, if it were, it sure as hell wouldn't be healthy.

You didn't do anything wrong if you feel hurt that someone you didn't personally know did something wrong. You're not parasitic or obsessive for wanting people you don't personally know to be good people. Being devastated that someone you liked did something horrible isn't a sign you liked them too much, it's a sign you have the basic human ability to form emotional and social connections. Your responsibility is being aware of those connections and behaving in ways that are healthy, respectful, and keep you and others safe.

Trying to just not admire people or not feel a connection to other humans won't work. Focus instead on being aware of what your relationships to other people are, what actions on your part are acceptable given that level of relationship, what actions are acceptable on their part, and what level of relationship it's realistic or healthy to project. And be ready, as with all things in life, to change your views on something or someone when presented with new information, even if you have very strong emotional connections to the subject. For example: "I'd love to get a cup of coffee with the celebrity I don't know and talk with them about a film they're in. I imagine that would be nice." <- normal human emotion "I will go to this celebrity I don't know and ask them, apropos of nothing, to get a coffee with me/I expect this celebrity I've never met WILL go to coffee with me" <- Unrealistic level of projected relationship. Crosses boundaries of normal human interactions between strangers.

"I'm devastated this actor I liked was an abuser" <- normal human emotion

"I won't believe that this actor was an abuser because I like him and therefore can tell he wouldn't do that" <- Unrealistic and unhealthy level of projected relationship. Unsafe for you and others.

You can't just "not admire" people, yes, even people you don't know personally. Instead, be careful to make sure your admiration of someone doesn't affect your ability to make judgements about them.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.

[forzathunder]

"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity

that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him

[lazylittledragon]

ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

[justaz]

oh hot take for people to ignore bc its not that deep, ship what you want, but merthur physically cannot have a third. i think that's literally impossible. they're so inextricably bound to one another that it's always going to be MERTHUR and that person...i guess. like. merlin and arthur are always going to chose one another above everything. i just. don't think being their third would be fun. unless you just wanna watch. i guess.

[tagarilaghost]

I SWEAR CELEBI'S THINGY IS COMING SOON BUT I REALLY WANTED TO POST THIS ALRIGHT

yeaah... future trio got me too...

and Darkrai is there too, because of course he is.

hey look i drew a cute Drifloon :D

...ignore the rest

whatever started at Darkrai doodles ended in brainrot of future trio + darkrai and I'm blaming @scribz-ag24 for this

[judasisgayriot]

2004

[crimeronan]

it's sometimes so silly to look in the notes of a polyamory art/post and see people like "is this cheating art....?" when the characters in canon are all extremely close friends. i know it's not malicious because most people think of monogamy as the default and anything outside that Must be cheating, but truly i'm always like. guys. guys Please.

please think about this for like 2 seconds.

under what circumstances do we think this non-canon couple might hold hands directly in front of their canon partners. and under what circumstances do we think the canon partners might be okay with this. do we Truly think this is a secret relationship. do we Truly think these guys would sneak around behind their canon partners' backs when all of them are extremely close friends with a high level of trust and commitment to each other.

would assuming that these extremely close friends have actually communicated with one another Exactly The Same Way They Do In The Canon Source Material perhaps cause less despair.....

[sixteenthtry]

I know bro wrote this while pushing his glasses up with his index finger and a hand on his hip☝🏻🤓

[whetstonefires]

You know I'm realizing one reason you keep seeing mdzs modern AUs where the Jiang parents are alive mainly so they can dramatically fail and betray Wei Wuxian by cutting him off financially--defaulting on his college tuition or formally disowning him etc--isn't just that people want to translate the Burial Mounds II arc into modern terms while keeping Jiang Cheng clean of it.

(Despite the fact that the internal logic of Jiang Cheng's character is largely built around him being a person who would abandon someone he intensely cared about under these specific circumstances.)

It's because it's hard to set up a modern analogue for the way that Jiang Cheng is responsible for Wei Wuxian, as his Sect Leader.

We live in a highly individualistic society. People are trying to write Wei Wuxian Tragically Wronged, and because there's a normative expectation that people in the position of parents will provide you with resources, and certainly won't withdraw them without warning, but no such assumption that people in the position of siblings necessarily owe each other support, making this work in modern setting with Jiang Cheng in his canon role would require a lot of extra work, just to get a less readily resonant result.

But I keep thinking about it. Because something that's getting lost here is, not just the nuances of character and relationship, but like...it's sort of key to the story that cutting Wei Wuxian off was, in fact, Completely Socially Appropriate.

The level on which it was a betrayal is subtle, and deeply cutting. And intensely tied up in the very different opinions each of Jiang Cheng's parents had about what obligations existed in their family wrt Wei Wuxian, and what these meant.

The level on which it was the obvious, normal course of action is blatant. That is to a huge extent why it happens: because Jiang Cheng's instinct to conform is a survival instinct, reinforced by trauma, and Wei Wuxian's choices meant he had no coherently compelling reason not to obey it, and enormous peer pressure to do so.

The fact is that Jiang Cheng was making a reasonable choice, the actual thing 'anyone would do in that situation,' unlike Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao's respective wildly warped ideas about what that is.

Wei Wuxian wasn't betrayed by Jiang Sect like your foster parents cutting you off because you're disobedient. Wei Wuxian was betrayed by Jiang Sect like your brother refusing to drop fifty grand to bail you out of jail.

Of course Wei Wuxian tells him not to. And of course the fact that Jiang Cheng already chose in the moment not to pay a cent because Fuck You Wei Ying still stands there glaring, a precedent that can never be taken back.

And then later he's betrayed by Jiang Cheng like your brother cooperating with a police investigation into a manslaughter you really did commit, that's being handled like domestic terrorism. And then like your brother calling the cops on you. And then like your brother helping the cops find where you're hiding.

I'm personally fascinated by the way Jiang Cheng's lifelong resentment for the way Jiang Fengmian reliably bailed Wei Wuxian out of everything informed those decisions to do the normal thing, the way he's reacting against his dead father as well as against Wei Wuxian and the actual situation.

But even without that daddy issues angle, the fact that the person who made that choice was Jiang Cheng, and that it was simultaneously the reasonable appropriate normal upstanding citizen rational thing to do and so shitty Wei Wuxian would be entitled never to forgive it is sort of. The Point.

Of the scenario, and also to a considerable degree of the entire finely tuned narrative construct that is Jiang Cheng.

[pocketgalaxies]

vilya saying "there was pressure put on me at a young age. i don't lead because i want to, i lead because i have to." and beau just going "it suits you, but also do whatever the fuck you want, i don't care." somehow feels like the most validating response Ever. i wonder how keyleth's story could have been different if she had someone beside her who didn't just say "you can do this, you'll do great" but also "do what you want to do – the people who matter most will stay by you regardless"

[aceof-stars]

Currently halfway through Bridge to the Turnabout and no one told me I'd end up feeling bad for Larry. I feel like the developers made it their mission to hate on him specifically. And honestly out of every Ace Attorney character with trauma that gets unaddressed, why does it feel like Larry gets treated the worst by the game.

Everyone thinks he's useless and annoying. But I think the judge was correct when he said Larry has "quite a severe inferiority complex". Larry casually drops that he's been physically abused by two of his ex-girlfriends, but seems to think it's perfectly fine. He seems to believe he's utterly worthless and that he makes people "eternally unhappy". But he never changes because he suppresses his trauma so hard that he forgets about them. He actually feels so bad for screwing up in The Stolen Turnabout but instead of genuinely working on himself, he adopts a new identity because he can't stand himself probably.

But AA1 clearly shows that Larry is not "useless" or a "nuisance". After all Phoenix also wanted to repay Larry for defending him during the class trial. And not to mention Larry saved Edgeworth with his testimony in 1-4. Oh Larry you'll always be a part of the signal samurai trio.

[touchyluffy]

part one

In the days it takes you to heal from your injuries, Luffy comes to your bedroom to sleep next to you every night. He does try, the night after the first, to sleep in his own bedroom but he can't. Usually sleep comes easy to him, especially after a long day of adventure but not now. He closes his eyes, trying to think of your wounds healing, your soft breathing, your warm hand holding his, but he can't fall asleep. He huffs in irritation and rises from his bed, sulking across the ship to knock on your bedroom door and opening it slowly. You put down your book, you were also struggling to sleep, and open the covers for him. You smile at each other as he excitedly hops into your bed.

And so it becomes routine for you two. Even as your injuries heal completely, as the sunsets and the crew walks off to their separate bedrooms, Luffy follows you into yours and you let him. It becomes normal to roll over in the middle of the night and snuggle into his warm body, to wake up in the morning with his arm wrapped around you, to feel him pull you closer in his sleep, to giggle at his sleep-talking, to hear your name in his mumblings. You offer to let him keep his toothbrush and some clothes in your room, he accepts.

Sleeping together becomes so routine that you have trouble sleeping without him. There were times when you two would be separated by a foe that Luffy challenged and each night you would stay awake staring at his side of the bed, worry clouding your mind and making it impossible to sleep and eventually when Luffy defeated the foe, he would be covered in bandages and it was your turn to listen to his soft, even breathing as he slept. There were times when you be working late into the night and he would come find you, curling up on the floor next to you to sleep in your presence until you eventually finish and drag him back to your bed so you can both sleep comfortably. There were times when you would get angry at him for putting the crew in danger with his recklessness and you'd slammed your bedroom door in his face and toss and turn, your anger at him turning into desperation for him to just come to bed already, eventually you get up to find him and as you open your bedroom door, Luffy's sleeping frame falls on your legs. He'd been sleeping against your door. Smiling you pull his rubbery body into bed and cuddle up next to him, his heartbeat your lullaby. He smiles in his sleep and his arms come up around you. Whenever he's missing his hat or sandals, you find them by your bed.

This new routine of you and your captain sleeping together left your other crewmates with their mouths on the floor several times. They still hadn't gotten used to you two waving goodnight and walking into the same bedroom. When they would ask, you tried to explain but there really wasn't anything to explain. You and their captain couldn't sleep unless you slept together. That's all, why do they always stare at you in such surprise when you say that? Their shocked faces didn't discourage you both into cuddling up to each other at night, finding relaxation, warmth, safety, and comfort in each others arms. What was once your space becomes "our bedroom", "our closet", "our bathroom".

[lazylittledragon]

Your novel excerpts are incredible and I would love to see more. The warmth and care you put into it shines through and I just want more of it!

On a side note, incredibly unfair that you can draw AND write so masterfully. A true power house, haha.

aaAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH :'DDD

as a treat you can have some more akdffd

if the main plot is 'Fantasy Murder Mystery' then the biggest subplot is probably 'Snow is Not Doing Well'

[bumblingbabooshka]

Inspired by this post: What if B'Elanna reveals to Harry that she feels insecure about not knowing much about her Human (Puerto Rican) heritage after two interactions at the beginning of the episode - one with Chakotay and one with Tuvok where they both display a deep connection to their heritages and cultural practices. Harry then reveals that he's also mixed - his mother being Chinese while his father's Korean. Like Chakotay, he wasn't very interested in cultural practices as a kid (he seems like he'd find them boring at a young age) and his parents didn't push him to participate or learn which was fine when he was a kid but as he got older he began to feel a sense of displacement, guilt, and frustration. It's easier to just be 'Human' rather than taking ownership of anything more specific, especially since to most people he's not visibly mixed, but with being away from his family he feels now more than ever that he wishes he'd connected to that heritage. He expresses the same yearning that B'Elanna brings to him - he's also noticed that Tuvok and Chakotay can connect to their parents, their people, their faith even so far away...that connection gives them a strength and assurance that both Harry and B'Elanna envy. He tells her about the Alter Ego coaching incident and B'Elanna tells him about the Meditation Fail. They both tease each other good naturedly. B'Elanna tells Harry about how Chakotay instructed her in some of his cultural practices (we see in 'Cathexis' that she has knowledge of these practices) and how she started being jealous then, specifically of how he can connect to and sort of amend his relationship with his father (which was rocky in life) THROUGH these practices and the faith he carries in them. She sometimes tried to do the same privately but it felt like acting, uncomfortable. B'Elanna's different from Harry, having been bullied for her Klingon side heavily, she wanted very much to claim her Human (Puerto Rican) heritage. She never saw it as something boring and often tried to connect with her cousins etc over it but they always pushed her away, asserting she was 'Klingon' and as 'Other.' After her father left, she seems to have been entirely cut off from her Human side of the family. When she grew enough to do her own research into her heritage, she felt overwhelmingly that it was already too late for her to connect to this side of herself. People already only call her "Klingon" though she's half Human. If she were to attempt to claim anything more specific, she'd surely just be laughed at. Harry smiles and bumps her shoulder with his own. "I'm not laughing," he says. "You're smiling." "I usually am." Then B'Elanna smiles too. Throughout the series (from that point on) we can see B'Elanna and Harry practicing Mandarin, Korean, and Puerto Rican Spanish. Though they start off just helping the other, they start to learn all three languages between them and sometimes have conversations as they're working together which become less and less stilted as time goes on. Harry even learns a bit of Klingon! This leads to B'Elanna's Human grandmother or something being the one to contact her instead of her no-good-space-racist-daughter-abandoning-terrible-scum-father and B'Elanna opening the conversation by speaking to her in Spanish, to the woman's unabashed delight. B'Elanna quickly wipes away a tear at hearing how proud the woman is of her, how she grew up so beautifully, how she was afraid she forgot all about them or hated them for what her father did to her family but she's so pleased that obviously isn't the case, not if she took the time to learn their language. Afterward, we see B'Elanna restless in her quarters. She gets up and begins a letter. It's to her mother, whom she still doesn't know the status of (her grandmother hasn't been in contact with her or B'Elanna's father). She starts in Standard then pauses and has the computer erase that entry, beginning again in Klingon. End.