#if you're confused about where these numbers are coming from: it's Book Math

[doodle-zine]

Submissions are CLOSED-ISH!

Thank you so much to everyone who submitted!!

I have 15 submissions, plus one person who asked for a short extension. I will also put a page of my own in if there's space, which brings us to 16-17.

That means I still need one (or two) more pages to fill out our zine!

SO, if you'd like to snag the last spot, the form is still open! I will be closing it as soon as we hit 18.

[study-diaries]

Math Tips

(Pictures are not mine)

Well, let me tell you, we all have this love-hate relationship with this subject, right? The worst part is that when you don't know what the heck is going on, so, as a girl who studied maths (2 Volumes/textbooks) on her own during the year she was homeschooled, here are some tips and tricks that I did to get an A+ in my math finals!

Get your syllabus together

In the beginning I had no damn idea what was going on and it was just confusing. I had to do the first thing I did was taken my index/table of contents and mark the chapters which i knew very well and the ones I had no clue about. And then i arranged them with the marking scheme, like which one carries the most marks etc etc and study accordingly.

Complete lessons/chapters that you already know

When you finish off the things you already know then that's gonna give you the confidence you need even if you know only 1-2 chapters, learn it throughout and make sure that you'll get the answer no matter how twisted the sum is. If you're doubtful about the whole textbook like any normal person.... Start with the easy ones. (I know there are literally really no "easy" chapters, spare me)

Harder chapters need hard work

Most chapters like Trigonometry proofs, Geometry proofs, Algebra, Graphs, Mensuration and Calculus etc need more than minimum effort but here's a trick, what is the common thing in this? Yes, they're all formulae and theorem based which goes to my next point. These chapters are completely based on how much you've understood your basics.

Formulae and theorem cheatsheets

Make a list of all formulae and the theorem used in the book, write them chapter wise and no printouts or digital notes. Take a paper and write it down, no excuses. It helps you while you're practicing, revising and in the last minute review, it helped me damn much. Remember, maths is a sport. The basic formulae must come to you like reflexes.

YouTube is your best friend.

For every single chapter, go and watch the basics and how a sum is done step by step. A recommendation for this is Organic Chemistry Tutor who literally is one of the reasons i passed. He has videos from basic geometry, trigonometry, statistics to calculus. Search for your own YouTubers and be clear with concepts.

Math is fully memorization

Memorize formulae and theorems with the back of your hand, you should be able to recall them within seconds. Be thorough.

Memorize basic math values (if calculator isn't allowed)

Do this if you have a majority of chapters like Statistics, Mensuration, Profit/loss calculation etc, where large numbers are concerned. Memorize the first 10 square, cube, decimal and multiplication values. It may be dry but there are literally songs available for these things, I'm serious, i learnt the first 10 cube roots by listening to Senorita xD Search for rhymes and they'll definitely be many!!

Work it out!!!!!!

Can't stress this enough, atleast 30-40 mins is the minimum for maths. I'm serious, work out each sum, don't ever think it's a waste, you'll see the results. Practice makes perfect. Work out every single sum, from examples to exercise ones cause let's be honest, our examiners love to take problems from every nook and cranny of the book.

Whiteboard method

So, I made this up and it actually works, if you have a whiteboard or anything else, once you completed a chapter, take a random page and whatever sums you have on those two pages, you need to complete within a given time limit. It helps you to identify your weak points and where the hell you're losing both time and effort and not to mention that it gives you confidence boost up.

Hope this helps :))

[literaticat]

Hi! Is it just my local bookstores or is it suuuper difficult for books to stay in stock (physically in stores) if they are not frontlist? I feel like I've seen so many books come out and do really well, but if they're not classics or enduring BookTok phenomenons like Colleen Hoover/Emily Henry/that ice hockey book, they just disappear from physical shelves after a year and can only be ordered online? So confused!

Well -- bookstores usually only have so much shelf space, right? And new books come out every week. So it stands to reason that what takes up much of the shelf space is frontlist (new books!) -- and backlist that sells consistently.

I would suggest you read this old blog post of mine: "Think Like a Bookseller: On Turns, and Returns" if you really want to get into the weeds on it, but the most relevant part about Inventory Turn I'll put here if you're not in a clicking mood:

"Turn" is how often inventory sells and must be replaced. It is extremely important to turn books relatively briskly. This isn't a museum where books are simply on display! Sitting inventory is not making money, turning inventory keeps the lights on. [. . .] Your book is paying rent for its space on the shelf. Let's say that the average book in the section needs to sell or "turn" about 4 copies a year; that means "rent" is about .10 cents per day for an $8.99 paperback, .25 cents per day for a $21.99 hardcover. If the book isn't moving fast enough to pay that, it will eventually get returned to the publisher.

How the correct turn is calculated is a math problem I get into more in that post -- but turn needed per section will be different for every section of the store, and for every store that exists. A huge store might have a different average turn rate than a tiny store -- a store that specializes in X-type of books will have a different turn rate for that section than other sections -- etc.

The POINT is: If a book IS turning the appropriate number of copies a year, of course, it will keep getting restocked until such time as it STOPS "paying rent" for its shelf-space. And SOME books -- certain real classics for example -- might be kept on the shelf even if they AREN'T making rent, just because a bookseller knows they NEED to have those books. But those titles are pretty few and far-between -- if we kept every book on the shelf because *nostalgia*, the store would swiftly run out of room!

ETA, PSA: Somebody on Bluesky reminded me to remind you: If you don't see a book you want on the shelf of your local bookstore, PLEASE DO ask them to order it for you! Most bookstores can get just about any book that is in print within a week or so (sometimes even faster). And if there is demand for a title/author/type of book, they WILL take note of that and want to re-stock it!

[olderthannetfic]

I feel like people won't like this question but not knowing the answer bothers me, so here goes. I'm part of a small writing community and in my category (original m/m) I'm a really small author, getting one comment per chapter, while others have 100+ comments for the same amount of chapters. These are usually the type of stories that are darker with elements of rape and seme/uke dynamics and feature maffia bosses, sex slaves, hybrids, A/B/O and the like. These are not my cup of tea but I understand the id explanation and fully support it, I just don't understand how my id can be so different from the majority's.

My favourite dynamic is bad boy with a golden heart/fairly normal guy, so that's what I write most often and I thought this was a popular dynamic. Within that dynamic, my stories are pretty eclectic, I've got old butler/young groom, prince/court painter, ghost hunter youtuber/ghost, PE teacher/math teacher, I write about adults, teenagers, boys, girls, etc. What is it that's so appealing in maffia stories but not in mine?

Obviously I'm motivated by jealousy in asking this, but I hope I don't come off as too unpleasant or pretentious. I just don't understand what the barrier is that I can't step over, what it is that makes these other authors so popular. It's disheartening to realise I will never be as popular as them, and not knowing why. (Of course I know the obvious answer is to just write whatever makes me happy and don't think about popularity and numbers, find friends with similar tastes, etc., but I do that most of the time and in asking this, I'm just interested in how other people see the issue, what might be the reason behind the majority's taste.)

I think all of the writers in question can tell a story fairly well, me included, so I can only think the difference is in the topics we choose. (Also in sappy declarations of love and the characters constantly calling each other "sweetheart" and "my love" that sounds kind of cringey in my native language but I can't imagine people are not interested in my stories because they don't contain tearful love confessions. There's plenty of romance there, though less and less explicit sex.) So can anybody tell me what makes these darker topics so much more appealing? Maybe if I understood, I would be less bothered by it.

(You're also free to tell me I'm a wanker and to come off it, of course.)

--

Haha. Well... I think a certain amount of professional jealousy or at least insecurity is common, especially if you're hoping to pay your rent or gain clout or something and it isn't happening for you (yet). (I'm unclear if your original m/m niche is one where people are seeking money or not.)

I don't feel bad when other people are more popular because I know my shit is good. If it hasn't found an audience, it's partly because my marketing isn't good (or existent) or because it just takes time to find an audience. But a lot of it has to do with my native personality. I'm just not a jealous person, and I find jealousy odd and confusing most of the time. (Cue a bunch of fiction exploring jealous characters. Haha.)

There are some interesting side topics to discuss here, but your question, taken exactly as phrased, is basically about your own emotions and not about external reality.

--

It sounds to me from what you wrote here like maybe you're writing in your native language?

But if you are writing in English, watch out for little pitfalls like "heart of gold" vs. "golden heart".

--

Second... what do you mean "majority"? Do you honestly think that everyone, everywhere likes runny assholes and mafia rape?

If the community you hang out in all prefers a/b/o to what you like to write, your answer is right there: You have chosen to hang out with the wrong people, courting the wrong audience.

That says nothing about whether somebody somewhere else prefers lighthearted bad boy stories.

In the professional m/m novelist circles I've seen (the type where people only publish complete books, not serialized things), contemporary romance is one of the categories that sells best. I'm not an authority since I loathe contemporary, but it's so very, very popular, probably much more so than any given dark kink trope.

--

Third, Wattpad-style mafia stories, a/b/o, hybrids, and suchlike are easy to market.

They have very specific keywords that make it easy for aficionados to find that exact subgenre in order to consume five thousand more of the exact same thing.

Look at conventional romance novels: The most popular and enduring individual books are by Names and are often a little harder to tag, but a lot of what sells at the lower tiers is that "The Greek Billionaire's Virgin Bride" stuff where you figure the actual prose is terrible but it will deliver exactly the tropes you expect and want with no wasting time on shit you don't care about.

'Bad boy with a heart of gold' is fairly easy to tag too, but if that's the only keyword-y bit of your stories, that could be an issue.

If you're writing the sorts of things that live or die by tropes and you don't write explicit sex, that can also be a hindrance.

It's not that everyone wants explicit sex in their books, but if I'm looking for a high volume of average-quality stuff by kink or trope, I probably do.

--

This one's more idiosyncratic, but for me personally, if I'm picking up something that's less about delivering specific sex scenes or kink experiences, I probably care more about quality of prose and plot.

I absolutely have a double standard here, and that does extend to iddy-but-not-porny stories in many cases because something like really intense hurt/comfort just won't hit home well enough for me if it isn't up to a certain writing standard.

I also do not tolerate serialization for this type of thing very well where I probably would for a story that has a different fucked up kinky sex scene in every chapter.

Yes, I believe you that you can write a decent story. Can you write a great one?

Lots of the most popular books of all time have some romance without having a lot of soppy pet names or explicit sex, but they're also often a hell of a lot better at mystery or action or sweeping historical epic or charming sense of place or some other thing than I'm guessing these circles you run in are.

I could be wrong. You could be a brilliant writer. But I do wonder if you're hanging out in the right place or comparing yourself to the right authors to achieve whatever your goals actually are.

--

A related thing that occurs to me here is that writing about all categories of person is terrible branding.

It works if your selling point is your brilliant plots and prose, especially if you are traditionally published.

It works a hell of a lot less well if your selling point is tropey original m/m with easy keywords in an online context. Why would that audience suddenly want a f/f version of the same thing? They might, but they very well might not. If they like young protagonists, maybe they don't also like old ones. etc.

When people are filtering down and down and down by keywords, having a diverse oeuvre is not an asset unless you are head and shoulders above all the other writers around.

--

We can also talk about why people like darker tropes over lighter ones, but I think you have some assumptions and some marketing!fail to unpack here.

But the short version of my answer is that some of the darker tropes still have a lot of zing and inherent drama even in the hands of a mediocre writer, while a fairly banal contemporary romance setup needs a higher degree of skill to inject life into it.

--

Anyone else have thoughts?

[jellytoru]

Wonderland ( The Umbrella Academy)

(Five Hargreeves x Reader)

Masterlist

Chapter 12: " Yeah, your voice just cracked, dearie "

~☂~

" The fucking library!? " The female ticked off as she stared at the library, she then rushed up at the Boy and they both got inside, " Are you fucking serious!? "

" Yes," the Boy simply answered as they both headed up to the upper level and looked for a place to sit.

Y/n groaned then made herself sit on the floor as she glared at the Boy, "We're sitting here, it's more comfortable " she claimed

Five just followed what she said and took a seat beside the female, he then gave Dolores to her before pulling a book and starting to write some equations.

Y/n hugged the mannequin before resting her head on the Boy's shoulder watching as he wrote equations.

" You know you should've checked your equation last time " the female stated as Five hummed, " You got the equations wrong the day you disappeared- oh wait that number is wrong, you won't get the right answer, subtract it first then multiple it "

" Since when are you so smart at maths? " Five asked and then erased the number and restarted the specific equation.

" I studied your equation you left beside the door. "

" I thought the old man punished you? "

" Punished? Do you actually believe what that Ape man just said? " The female raised a brow before rolling her eyes, " The time I got out of the dining room, I rushed to your bedroom and stayed there.... Till I got bored and tried to solve your equation on one of the notebooks that I left at your desk drawer " she explained, " Well actually I wrote the whole original equation first then re-solve it every night after training with Mr Dad "

 The conversation was dropped as they become silent then passed the vodka back and forth till the liquid was almost gone. Both have flushed faces and a wide grin was stretched on the female's face as she snuggled her face on the Boy's shoulder.

" Awww, come on!! Please can I have the last drop? '' she whined softly then giggled but the Boy shakes his head before drinking the last bit of liquid from the bottle.

" Bummer!! " Y/n pouted then pushed herself off from the Boy who just looked at her confused.

" Where are you going? "

" I'm going to find a Winnie the pooh book " Y/n proudly stated as a goofy smile was on her lips, " My baby girl really likes Winnie the pooh, mama here is going to find it! " she added then turned her back from the Boy.

From Y/n's statement, Five's somewhat sober up when she mention " baby girl" for all he knew she doesn't have any kids nor a partner since from his siblings' statement and his guess- she was in a coma, for how long he doesn't know but one thing for sure he knows she doesn't have any kids.

Glazing at the mannequin on his left, he raised a brow, " Baby girl? She had a kid!? " he repeated quietly.

" Don't look at me, I didn't know that too " the mannequin replied

Five shakes his head and then leaned back his head on the wall, maybe it's just the alcohol in his system that's why he thinking impossible things or many he's just too drunk that he misinterprets what the female just replied to him. 

Sometime later, two grown males walked inside the library looking for two teenagers. Glancing to left and right the two males quietly walk after they agree to separate ways.

" Anything? " Luther asked as he looked at his brother when they met on the third floor.

" No " the Kraken softly replied

Luther sighed before turning his back and was about to start looking once more, though Diego said something that made Luther stop in his tracks and walked back to the Kraken.

" You wanna know why I left? "

" What? What are you talking about? "

Diego turned his back, " Why I left the Academy "

" Yeah, 'cause you couldn't handle me being Number one " Luther shrugged

" No. Because that's what you do when you're 17. You move out, become your own person, and grow up. " Diego replied,

" Oh, yeah. You're a real grown-up "

" I want Y/n to come with me but she's in a coma after that day. " Diego added as he suddenly remembered how his sister looked before she collapsed.

" It's her fault, she lose focus " Luther replied with no emotion

The Kraken snapped his head at him, " It's no one's fault, that was an accident- you know how devastated she was after Five was gone, Dad was too harsh on her and trained her till she was weak and pale " he defended as he glare at him, " I would have her with me even if she's in a coma but she needs to be supervised, so I entrusted her to mom for her to take care of her for my stead, so at least I make my own decisions. You've never had to hold down a job. Pay bills, " Diego then looked up and down at Luther's structure, " You ever even been with a girl? "

" I.. " Luther then clears his throat, making Diego let out a chuckle out of pity. " I don't know what you're talking about- "

" Look, you wanna blame me, blame us for leaving.... that's okay " Diego replied, " But maybe you're asking yourself the wrong question- Maybe it's not about why we left... Maybe it's about why you stayed "

Luther started to move forward towards Diego, " I stayed because the world needed me "

" You stayed because you couldn't let go of the ways things used to be " Diego replied, " The Academy, Dad, with Allison, and maybe for Y/n too"

" Dad's dead, Mom too, now, maybe she already knew it. The expression Y/n would present when we see her, I don't know if I could handle it " Diego stated, " We're orphans again, dude. And things are never gonna go back to the way they used to... be "

In the distance, a few women were laughing though the siblings didn't pay any attention.

" Do you ever stop talking? " Luther questioned

Diego was about to reply when a sentence caught his attention.

" Where are their parents? "

" They both looked like siblings "

" No, they are not! I think their lovers, look how she clings to him... it's too damn cute "

" Oh yeah, now that you mentioned it" 

Both males then walked towards where it was as a woman walked past them with a phone in her hand.

" I'm gonna call security "

There they saw the two teens sleeping on the corner, Y/n was sitting on Five's lap with her head resting between his shoulder and neck while Five's head was resting on top of the female's head, and Y/n was also clinging to Dolores in her arms like a teddy bear, a few Winnie the pooh books were scattered beside them, two empty bottles of vodka were also there and an open book with equation and pen was also there. Both teens were sound asleep with Five's arms loosely wrapped around Y/n's waist.

A mixture of pure confusion and amazement was present on both brothers as they eyed the two teens sleeping soundly in the corner.

" Are they, um.. ? "

" Drunk as a skunk " Diego confirmed as he smirked, he then moved forward and gently fixed the scattered books first and bottles before gently grabbing his younger sister from Five and carrying her in his arms.

Luther then carried Five then made their way out of the library ignoring the stares that the other people gave them.

~~~~~~

The motel door where Hazel and Cha-cha were residing was opened and the two assassins got inside

" You idiot! " Cha-cha exclaimed as they quickly went into their room.

" What? " Hazel questioned

" You didn't put the "Do not Disturb" sign on the door! " 

" I did! I know I .... " Hazel placed the box of doughnuts on top of the drawer then turned to his left before looking at the door knob and seeing that he didn't put the sign on the front, " Shit " he cussed and closed the door, they then walked to the closet where they left Klaus, who is whimpering as the sudden bright light met his eyes.

" Oh my God, he's still here " Hazel sighed in relief, " Hi " he greeted Klaus before pulling The Séance out of the closet.

Klaus then speaks indistinctly as his mouth was still taped up.

" What's his saying? " Hazel questioned as Cha-cha ripped the tape off of Klaus's mouth.

" Oh!" Klaus exclaimed, unknown to the two assassins, Ben was watching them.

" What are you sayin'? "

" You guys are scarier without the masks, "Klaus said then examined the two assassins' faces, he then chuckled before receiving a slap on the cheek from Cha-cha.

" There's no way to say hello to your old friends, isn't it? " Hazel spoke, as he placed both his hands on his pockets.

" Can't we call it a night? I already gave you what you wanted " Klaus pleaded, " Just, pleased... please let me go, please "

" Well, technically, we want your brother and sister. Are both of them here now? " Cha-cha stated

Klaus let out a groan," Uh, they.... You're gonna have to be a little more specific on that " he said before chuckling then received another slap on the cheek by Cha-cha.

" Ow! I told you already. They're not coming " The Séance answered, " No one will " 

" Well, Number Five, and Hatter knows now " Cha-cha confidently replied, " We left them a message when they come for you, we'll be ready "

" Huh, " Klaus sighed before whimpering and immediately started to sob, " This... "

The Séance then suddenly heard harsh whispers and saw a flashback from his childhood that made him gasp.

Alone in a dark and cold mausoleum, there was young Number Four laying on the cold, dirty tiles. Dry leaves and specks of dust and stone surround the scared boy.

Metal doors were opened earning the young boy's attention and removing his hands from his face, there he saw his father and behind him was his sister holding a cream-coloured blanket in her arms.

" Welcome back to the land of the living, Number Four " Reginald claimed, then turned to Number Eight, " Help, Number Four on his feet, Number Eight " before giving the small girl a way to enter.

Y/n walked quickly and kneeled in front of Klaus then helped him sit down before wrapping him with the blanket around his shoulders.

" Can I go now? " Klaus fearfully asked as he turned to look at their father.

" Have you overcome your fear of the dead?" Reginald questioned, Y/n turned her head and also looked at their father, " You must become the master of your own life, Number Four or it will become the master of you. Number Eight on your feet " he ordered.

" What? Please, I wanna go home. Y/n please help me " Klaus pleaded as he turned to his sister who was already on her feet, a brokenhearted look was present on her face as she too wanted Klaus to come home and play with them. 

" Number Eight " Reginald called in a stern tone.

Y/n straighten her back and mutter an apology to her brother before walking back toward their father. Reginald took a step forward and looked at his son, who was giving him a pleading look to let him home with his brothers and sisters.

" Three more hours " The monocle man declared, then placed a hand on Y/n shoulder as he guided her out with him, before locking the mausoleum doors once again.

" NO! Don't leave me" Klaus cried out as he watched as the doors closed.

As Reginald locked up the doors, Y/n was quietly standing before she spoke, " Mr Dad, I think we should let Number Four out of there and be warmed up "

" What makes you think I would do as you say, Number Eight "

Y/n looked down at her shoes, " Number Four can be the master of his own life if you didn't do that to him " she replied

Reginald looked at the small girl before turning his back to her, " Stay here and open the door after three hours " he said then began to walk away leaving the small girl behind.

" You went there, didn't you? " Ben questioned as he watched Klaus take a deep breath.

" No, no, no, no.... " Klaus whimpered as he tried to cancel out the voices that he was hearing, suddenly he heard a Russian woman speaking.

~~~~~

Two grown men carried each teenager in their arms as they walked in the empty alley.

" Well, we can't go back to the house, it's not secure. Those psychopaths could come back at any moment " Luther stated

" My place is closer " Diego suggested, "No one will look for them there "

Just then Five belches made the two grown men slow down their steps, Y/n on the other hand slowly opened her eyes and almost fell from Diego's arms not knowing it was her brother that was carrying her.

" Woah! Y/n calm down it's just me " Diego said as he tried to calm his sister in his arms.

Y/n stopped squirming and looked up to see Diego's face looked concerned, " Oh.. I thought you were someone else, " she said before limping her body in her brother's arms.

" If you vomit on me... " Luther's warned as he glared at Five in his arms.

" You know what's funny? " Five slurred speech, his voice cracks at the end that made the female teen giggle.

" Yeah, your voice just cracked, dearie " Y/n giggled.

Five looked at her and smiled, " Aw hush now, shortcake. I'm having my moment "

" Alright " Y/n replied then waved her hand at him.

" Aah! I'm going through puberty- Huh, twice " Five scoffs as his voice yet again cracked at the end.

" How many times should his voice crack? Please let it be every time you speak! " Y/n laugh before dropping her grin, " Damn, I'm tired "

"- And we drank that whole bottle, didn't we?" The Boy chuckles, " That's what you do when the world you love goes bye-bye. Poof, it's gone " he added

" Psst, Diego " Y/n whispered to her brother who turned back to look at her, " Have you checked me out a Winnie the pooh book? " she asked before letting out a small burp. 

The teenage female quickly placed her hand on her mouth as she let out a small burp before giggling.

" What are you guys talkin' about? " Five questioned

Y/n peaked her head from Diego's shoulder, " If Diggy here checked me out a Winnie the Pooh book, apparently he didn't check me out a book " she then faked a sob.

" Diego, why didn't you check her out for her favourite book? Look what you did to her! " Five scolded, and the Kraken just rolled his eyes at the nonsense both teenagers showed.

Luther let out a sigh, as he kept following Diego, " Two masked intruders attacked the Academy last night"

" They came looking for you. So I need you to focus " Diego snarled, " What do they want? "

" Hazel and Cha-cha " Five said with a slurred tone

Diego abruptly turned around at Five, earning a groan from Y/n who he was carrying, " Who? "

" You know, I hate code names " Luther added

" You hate code names but you never really scold me on calling you one- Their names are Hazel and Cha-cha, Dingus " Y/n stated

" Ah, there you got my darling dear shortcake all mad now, anyway- they're the best of the best- except for me, of course. Oh yeah, must I say there was even this Mad Hatter- who is also the same best line as me? Poor him, he's gone and I took the seat as the best of the best " Five explained

" The best of what? "

" You know, Dolores and shortcake always said they hated when I drink "

" Yeah, because it made you all surly " Y/n rolled her eyes

" Hey! " Diego called out, making the two teens let out a hum, " I need you to focus " he added as turned to the Boy.

Y/n waved her hand at Five and the Boy gave her a lovestruck look.

" What do this Hazel and Cha-cha want? " Diego asked

Five's grin widened even more- similar to a Cheshire cat, this made Y/n too flustered by the smile and couldn't contain her smile making her cheekbones hurt from smiling.

" We just wanna protect you " Diego softly stated

" Protect me? I don't need your protection, Diego- Do you have any idea how many people I've killed? " Five questioned, " No, I'm the four frickin' Horsemen- the Apocalypse is coming " he added before throwing up behind Luther.

" Argh! Ew! You fucking disgusting " Y/n groaned before resting her head on Diego's shoulder, who turned away from the vomiting Five.

After Diego lay down Y/n on the bed, Luther was the second one to place Five beside the female. Y/n immediately snuggled herself on Five's chest as the Boy wrapped his arms around the female's waist bringing her closer to him.

"Funny. If I didn't know Five was such a prick, I'd say he looks almost adorable in his sleep and with N/n in his arms, they really looked like a couple " Diego commented

" Well, don't worry. They'll sober up eventually, Five would be back to his normal, unpleasant self " Luther said

" Yeah, I can't wait that long " Diego fumed then turned away from the two teens, " I need to find out what his connection is with these lunatics before someone else dies " 

" All the stuff he was saying before " Spaceboy began when a thumping was overheard, making Diego turn to the sound, " What do you think he meant by that? " he added

Footsteps were approaching and Diego mentioned for Luther to be quiet before pulling out one of his knives and then quickly pacing towards the door. The Kraken quickly opened the door and was about to throw one of his knives when a shout greeted him.

" You throw another one of those goddamn knives at me, I'm pressin' charges "

Diego drop his arm and opened the door widely, " What do you want, Al? " he boldly asked

" I ain't your secretary " Al scoffed

" Yeah "

" Some lady called for you, said she needs your help "

" What lady? "

" I dunno, Some, uh, detective " Al answered as he tried to recall who was that lady that wanted Diego's help, " I think she said her name was, uh, Blotch or somethin' "

Diego's face turned confused, " Patch? "

Al shrugged his shoulders, not really sure if that was the name of the detective.

" She needs my help " Diego muttered

" She needs you to meet her at that motel, a dump on Calhoun, " Al said then give the piece of paper that he wrote the address on to Diego, Luther watches their interaction.

" When? "

" About half an hour ago, Uh said she found your brother, " Al said before turning his back and walking out of the boiler room.

Diego looked back at the two sleeping teens, " Well, that didn't make sense "

Luther then looked up, the same time Diego looked down at him, they both know now who is the brother that Patch was referring to, " Klaus " they both replied

Diego quickly walked out of the room leaving Luther behind, " Go, I'll wait here with... them " he sighed then patted Dolores's head.

[haymarketvtubestuff]

Harem comedy pitch redux

// Setting: high school. Co-ed but with gender-segregated dorms.

We meet Reon Hasegawa, an androgynous 2nd year who already has some sway in the school. We also meet Reon's best friend, Daiki Murata. Through a number of dialog-free scenes, we observe Reon having few, but close friends while helping the history teacher with various projects we aren't immediately clued in on. Daiki is observed in similar scenes trying to hit on his male classmates and rarely succeeding because of his being an awkward teenager.

We also have an establishing shot of Reon's locker being stuffed with love letters, wishes to confess, and so on. Reon is visibly frustrated. In a dialog with Daiki, Reon says almost quietly, "I need to do something about this." A pause. "Something ... final." The viewer, listening carefully, hears Reon use "ora" only after starting to say "wata-".

We then see a number of students congregating around a school wall, murmuring, and are then treated as to why - plastered on the wall are a large collection of confessional notes and professions of love with identifying marks hidden by a black marker. Written in large print over these notes reads:

IF YOU SEE YOUR LETTER, YOU KNOW WHERE I AM ON WEDNESDAYS. MEET ME THERE TOMORROW. I'LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.

The next shot has ten girls of various years coming into a classroom, some visibly offended, others embarrassed, but all curious. From visual clues in prior establishing shots, we see it's the room for the history teacher Reon assists. We also get more context that was intentionally left out about the room's decor - pride flags, LGBT resource books, posters of encouragement for the students, and posters encouraging social justice. We see Reon and Daiki standing next to each other with the history teacher off to the side at his desk. After the girls quiet down from the initial confusion, Reon speaks up, giving off no clue as to what or how the news would be broken.

"Ladies, I (watashi) want to apologize for such a dramatic means of getting your attention, but it was also the best way to prevent your being mocked."

The general mood hasn't changed. Some girls are still upset - "What's the big idea doing it like this?" "Why here?" and so on. Reon signals for the girls to listen.

"Again, I'm sorry. But I needed to tell you all the same thing, so it was better I do it this way and all at once." The viewer is treated to a slight smile on Reon's face as the speech continues. "You see, there's two bits of information about me that might change your tune ..."

Daiki interrupts. "Just tell them, already." Daiki's tone is serious, which is rare for any of them to hear. Reon clears their throat.

"Girls, I have to turn down all of you for the simple reason that I'm straight."

The girls talk among themselves, confused, trying to interpret what that means. "Reon's a guy, right?" "Wouldn't that mean he likes girls if he's straight?"

Reon once again cuts in, quite loudly - "I like guys."

The din ends suddenly. The confusion is still on the faces of all but two girls - a 1st year art club regular, and a 3rd year who has the appearance of a delinquent. Slowly, the math is being added up by the girls, and the viewer can tell that Reon is about to make another comment when the delinquent speaks up.

"So ... what? You're trans or something?"

Reon is visibly annoyed to have her thunder stolen, but nods. She regains her calm demeanor . "Please allow me to properly introduce myself." The pause after his can literally be felt by viewer and character alike. "My school ID says one thing, but my name is Reina, and I use feminine pronouns."

Reina pauses, waiting for the worst, expecting it, even. But the silence is broken by the art club student.

"So you're saying I might have a chance."

The group looks straight at the student trying to understand what that meant.

[tinytonysnark]

Hi Nisha love, Stevetony for #40 (Making a goofy face until they notice and laugh) in the 50 wordless ways to say I love you prompt list if you're so inspired? <3

40. Making a goofy face until they notice and laugh. 2.1K words, stevetony, fluff, tw: Howard Stark’s A+ Parenting

six

The first thought Steve ever has about Tony is, he looks sad.

He’s making his way into the school by himself, cause he’s grown now — his Ma’s car is still at the drop-off where he can see her still blowing kisses at him through the window, but who’s gonna know — when his eyes land on them. 

There’s a man standing in front of a boy who looks smaller than Steve does, something he didn’t even know was possible — and the boy looks sad, shoulders hunched in and staring at the ground while the man seems to be scolding him, like his Ma does sometimes when he gets into a fight with the boys down the road. 

But unlike Steve, the boy doesn’t stare back and let it be known that those boys had it coming for talking like that with his chest puffed up because he’s mad — and not at all because he’s pulling in big gulps of air. 

Steve can’t see what the man’s face must be like since his back is to him but he imagines it must be angry and that just makes him angry  cause the man seems like a big old bully and Steve hates bullies.

If the man wasn’t a grown up Steve might have just gone over there to tug the boy away and yell at the man about maybe picking on somebody his own size, but he promised his Ma he wouldn’t get into trouble — well, not on the first day at least. 

So instead, he sticks his tongue out at the man, blowing a raspberry at him that he doesn’t hear.

But the boy does. 

He looks, eyes darting up and around the man to stare at Steve who must have a silly look on his face because the boy looks a little shocked and his ears go red but there’s a smile, there and gone before he quickly looks back down at his feet. 

Steve decides then and there that this boy is going to be his friend and he waits for him, the man leaving with a dismissive wave as he walks over to his very shiny car. 

The boy watches him leave before making his way over to Steve, shoulders still hunched but not staring at the pavement anymore. “Hi. You - you didn’t have to wait for me.”

“Course I did,” Steve says with a shrug. “You and me are gonna be friends. I’m Steve Rogers,” he says, sticking his hand out for a shake. 

The boy stares at his outstretched hand for a moment before taking it with sweaty hands, “I’m Tony Stark and I - I really want to be your friend.”

“Well good, cause we’re going to be best friends,” Steve says confidently, dragging Tony through the front doors. “Come on, we can’t be late on our first day.”

[continue on AO3] or

***

twelve

“I’m just sayin’ that if you don’t come over for blueberry pie after Ma specifically baked it with you in mind, she’s gonna throw a fit,” Steve tells him, feet swinging under him because these benches were so high. 

Not because he’s short. 

It’s not. 

Tony’s hands are fidgeting, his fingernails plucking at the skin of his nail beds and Steve doesn’t even think about it when he reaches over to pry them apart. 

Tony just moves on to biting at the skin on his bottom lip. “Howard will be really mad if I miss dinner. He says the people coming over could really make or break the the company and he wants to make a good impression.”

His laugh is derisive when he tells Steve, “We have to be the picture perfect family complete with the great businessman but who’s also a loving father, the doting wife and mother with me staring as the golden son. What could possibly go wrong?”

Steve’s face must have morphed into the strange expression he does whenever Tony mentions anything about his home life because when he looks up from the plate of fries he’s not eating he gives a snort of laughter which only makes him embarrassed, covering his mouth like that would force it back in. 

“Shut up, you didn’t hear that,” Tony says, cheeks going pink. 

“Hear what?” Steve grins, swiping a handful of fries.

“Hey!”

“What? You’re gonna come over to eat my food so now I’m stealing yours,” Steve tells him. “Listen, you’re coming over today. Ma can be scary when she wants to be and not even your dad can stop her.”

Tony goes back to chewing on his lip. 

“Hey, trust me,” Steve says, grabbing at Tony’s hand. “It’s going to be okay.”

Tony looks down at their hands before looking right at Steve. “Okay.”

It doesn’t occur to him until much, much later that he and Tony held hands all through lunch and neither one had said anything. 

***

fourteen

They’re sitting in Math class — and why Tony is even in this class confuses Steve considering how smart he is — when he realises Tony isn’t paying attention to a single thing Mr.Vanko is saying. 

He’s staring at his phone, hidden behind his open textbook and he’s taking a selfie that Steve is just going to assume he’s sending to Rhodes because —

Because the other option is assuming he’s gonna send it to Stone who is a senior and all around jerk and Steve kinda wants to bash his head in whenever he sees the douche hanging around Tony and — well, Tony seems to enjoy Stone’s attention but there’s something not right about that guy and Steve —

Steve is not biased. He isn’t.

He makes a face at the camera when Tony angles the phone again and Tony doesn’t even notice until he looks at the picture.

He stifles a laugh into his hand but Mr. Vanko’s hearing is scary good and he always seems to have it out for Tony anyway so he turns away from the chalkboard to glare at where Tony sits. 

“Something funny, Mr. Stark?’

“No, no, just that you wrote out the equation wrong,” Tony says, shutting his book, his phone wedged between the pages.

“I doubt it,” Mr. Vanko sneers before looking at the board then scowling when he realises Tony is right. 

Steve tries not to roll his eyes because of course Tony is right. 

When he checks his messages later he sees that Tony had sent him the picture, with Tony front and centre but the perspective makes it look like Steve is popping right up from his head with a goofy look on his face.

He makes it his screensaver because really — who’s even going to know?

***

seventeen

Steve says the only reason Tony tries out for cheerleading is to be a rebel and to effectively drive Steve insane. 

Tony tells him that he does it so he can stay in shape since now he has to keep with Steve’s insane growth spurth over the past year and so he can be flexible and Steve — well, Steve tries not to go completely red at the implication in Tony’s tone. 

For all the years they’ve been friends, for all the dancing around they did about how they felt for each other — this, this is still new and real and Steve is completely terrified of messing this up. 

Losing Tony - that’s not even something his brain can comprehend. 

But when he shows up to practice, already making his way over to where the cheerleaders are to say hello and maybe steal a kiss, he thinks that Tony is trying to put him in an early grave because he’s standing there wearing the cheer uniform just —

The crop top and the skirt are fitted so well.  

For some reason, Steve’s brain latches onto the fact that Tony’s belly button is out.

He’s an innie. 

Steve must look an absolute fool right now because the cheerleaders burst into giggles around him, Tony included, who walks up to him and sweet jesus -

He shaved his legs and Steve thinks maybe there’s glittery body oil on them because there’s no way —

“Hi, handsome,” Tony smiles up at him. “You’ve got a real dumb look on your face so I’m assuming you like the uniform.”

Steve tries to say something back but his mouth just feels bone dry at the moment and he has to clear his throat to choke out a simple, “Yeah, baby. I really, really do.”

Tony kisses him, hard and fast -they’re lucky their teeth didn’t clack together - before pushing him off to the field. “Go on number 29! I can’t cheer for you if you’re terrible.”

“Thanks for that,” he says before hauling Tony in to kiss him once more, deeper and leaving him dazed before he runs back to his team. 

He gets a pom-pom thrown at him.

***

twenty-two

There’s a Taylor Swift song blasting from the speakers to commemorate Tony’s birthday but Steve — Steve can’t find Tony anywhere in this strange house he got off-campus that Steve is nearly certain is haunted because why else would it be so cheap it practically a robbery. 

Rhodes had mentioned to check the workshop but that had been the first place he looked anyway and he’s gone through the whole house at this point.

He’s standing by the kitchen before it comes to him and he’s off like a shot up the stairs, nearly bowling people over in his haste. 

He gets to Tony’s room, places the bag on the table and climbs through the windowsill when he spots him, sitting cross-legged on the roof. “Tony?”

The surprise on Tony’s face honestly makes the 4 hour long journey entirely worth it. 

“S-Steve? Ohmygod, Steve!” He yells, jumping up to crash into him and they nearly go skidding off the roof.

“Why don’t we head back in -”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Tony interrupts, “Let’s just sit out here.”

Steve isn’t really one to deny Tony anything, let alone on his birthday and definitely not when he’s beaming like that. 

He tugs Steve down, his back to Steve’s chest. “I - I got worried when you didn’t call. Thought maybe you forgot.”

Steve frowns, “Forgot? Baby, in these last 16 years I have never not once forgotten the most important date on my calendar and I ain’t gonna start now.”

He brings Tony’s hands up to him and places a kiss on the palm, “There was a slight hold up. Just, wait here.”

“There’s only one exit.”

“You say that like you haven’t rolled off a roof to prove a point before,” Steve tells him, reaching through the window to snatch the bag before coming back to sit in front of Tony. 

“Courtesy of the best bakery in New York,” Steve tells him, holding out the cupcake. “Bucky’s kitchen.”

He lights the candle he brought with him and sticks it in the middle. “Make a wish, Tones.”

Tony stares at him with a look so full of love with the flickering of the flame reflecting in his eyes that all the air rushes out of Steve’s lungs.

He blows out the candle before then promptly taking it out and smears the cupcake into Steve’s face that frosting goes up his nose. 

Tony laughs so hard when Steve just stares at him that he nearly does roll off the roof.

Tony makes it up to him by licking up all the frosting though. 

***

twenty-seven

Steve’s hands can’t stop shaking. 

He can’t believe that after months and months of planning, they’re finally here. 

That in just a few short minutes, he’s gonna get to call Tony his husband.

The doors open and Steve thinks his heart might have just stopped as he watches Tony walk towards him, resplendent in his tux and he just knows that the camera is recording his slack jawed expression because Tony is grinning at him as he makes his way down the aisle.

When they’re declared husbands, Steve kisses that grin right off his face and the camera catches their stupefied expressions. 

***

thirty

Tony drops the blanket, yelling out, “Peek-A-Boo!” 

Peter, completely amused, claps his tiny little hands from inside the crib. 

“The betrayal I feel right now is overwhelming,” Steve calls from the door of the nursery. “This is my favourite game.”

He crouches down next to Tony, both hiding behind the blanket before dropping it again, making silly faces. 

“Peek-A-Boo!”

Peter’s shriek of laughter can be heard all through the house.

[misskittysmagicportal]

All You’ve Got Is Gold Part 1

FandomAU!: Billy Delaney/Cormac McNamara x Female OC

Warnings: Slight NSFW, mostly steamy fluff.  Guys this ended up being long as fuck.  And it’s really only chapter one. Or Part 1.

Jeanie leaned over the bar at Ewan's to pour herself another whiskey, ignoring the bartender as he chastised her. "C'mon lass, don't the wee ones file in to the grounds tomorrow?"

"Wee?" she gulped around her swallow. "Ewan, they're pubescent. You know me though, I like to have a bit of a glow every new semester. That way the parents think I'm truly invested in the well-being of the brats." Jean waved her glass around in the air. "Ok, not brats. Most of them are well-behaved and genuinely interested in learning. Not like the little bastards in America. I'd have 40 to a classroom back there. Saint Fergus barely has 40 students in the entire school."

Ewan took it as a sign and gave her a generous pour one more time, "Heard you cannae keep any professors for the pay. But your husband-"

"EX. As of last spring," Jean corrected.

"EX-husband found some new blood in a few of his University students."

"Aye," Jeanie imitated the Scottish brogue with perfection. "They're all in the corner over there with Dr Purves now."

She had half a decade to assimilate to the culture of the small, boring town just outside of Aberdeen where she followed Gordon and married him without any family or a job. He became head of the Physics and STEM department at the University of Aberdeen, working on projects and female students alike. Jeanie, having abandoned her Master's in Education, was really only qualified to student-teach at a local boarding school. Before long, lack of interest and the economy drove the numbers down to four or five dozen and a position of Headmistress open. At least it was a place to live and an existence that kept her mind off everything else.

"I would say don't look now, because here comes one of his students, but my darling who can keep their eyes off him." Ewan pointed behind his friend with damn near literal hearts in his eyes.

Jeanie glanced over her shoulder as a young man, early 20s? She couldn't tell. But he approached her at the bar. Her first glance became a double, and nearly a stare. Embarrassed, she whipped her head around quickly and blushed in Ewan's general direction. "Sweet Virgin Mary," she exhaled under her breath.

"I normally go by Delaney, but I suppose in certain company Mary will do," a soft Irish lilt.

Jean slow blinked as the bartender broke into a cheshire grin. She took a deep breath and turned towards the man now beside her and held out her hand. Blood pulsing in her ears because.. he was stunning. "Brave of a Celt to set foot in the land of Picts. Even braver for him to be in the presence of the biggest asshole in all of Scotland."

"Well from what I've heard she's more of an Ice Queen than an asshole," he squinted before smiling brightly. Green eyes sparkling in the low light of the bar. "Your.. partner put me up to it anyways. You know, say the bit about the ice. Sorry," he blushed but still held on to her hand firmly. "I've heard you're rather pleasant from the others. Just aloof as it were"

"EX!" Ewan and Jean exclaimed together, and the young man blinked responsively. "No sorries. Cold-hearted bitch is what some of the 6th years call me when I confiscate their illegals. Headmistress Jean Turner, but the two friends I have call me Jeanie. Drink?"

"Just one? I'll take 5. I have to catch up with the others." He hooked a thumb at the group of obnoxious men groping the female students who hung off of them as if they were celebrities. Taking what he was offered, chugging it quickly and shuddering. "Billy. Delaney it is. Well occasionally."

Jeanie and Ewan watched as he basically pounded every shot placed in front of them. Squinting off and on, as if he was trying to adjust to the ambiance. "Is it hot? It's hot in here. God I hate people. Those people. I will never fit in with the misogynists and knobs who prefer rugby and football to actually learning about the world." He pulled at the collar of his sweater before taking it off and draping it over Jeanie's chair. He wore a striped tee shirt underneath "Sorry. Sorry. I've got my nose in tech and books and maths algorithms most days. I forget how to socialize, so I really just want to blend in with the norms."

"You.. are.. fit." Ewan sputtered.

Billy snapped back to attention, his mind having drifted off to the same group Jeanie's eyes kept staring at. "What?"

"He's saying you are fucking fit, mate" Jeanie gaped.

"My body? I'm not really certain about that. I'm rather spindly wouldn't you say?” he shrugged while his cheeks flushed profusely. "My arms? Is it my arms? I swim. Clears my head from all the clutter." He was rambling now.

Jeanie and Ewan started laughing. "Relax! we're taking the piss, love. Your every move is being scrutinized. Now why abouts did Dr Purves send you over here? Surely he has fucking with me on his mind. Not unusual, humiliation has always been the name of the game."

Billy made a gesture that resembled adjusting non-existent glasses. He immediately dropped his hand and pulled a tenner out of his pocket. "To melt the ice, Gordon said. He gave me ten quid to hit on you."

"One of his students. What a lovely parting gift. I guess you're worth the loss of the house and the car," Jeanie stood back slightly to properly size him up.

Billy bit the entirety of his bottom lip, furrowing his brows, "I reckon you're worth more than a tenner to sleep with."

Jeanie blinked a few times, head tilted to the side to make sure she heard correctly. "SEX?!" she laughed, unable to help herself. "I don't exactly know what all of this," she waved her hand down his body, "would be doing even in the vicinity of sleeping with this," pointing to her own.

Confusion came over his face, "Am I supposed to be.. Is there something wrong with you that I don't notice? I, I can be kind of oblivious to loads. I think, really, Gordon goaded me into coming over here for my benefit as much as his amusement. I don't have too much experience, but you seem quite lovely you know. Your hair is," brows furrowed again but in thought, "Nicely red in this lighting. Reminds me of my friend from Ireland. Hannah."

Jeanie pinched the bridge of her nose as Ewan audibly guffawed from beside her. "Saints preserve us," the Scotsman said between gasps for air. "Donnae if you are taking the piss now, bloke, or are you really this bad at pulling birds."

Billy grimaced, the entirety of his face beet red. "Honestly, I never make it this far. I guess they usually pull me and I let them?" He started to fan his face, "seriously,,how fucking hot do you keep this pub?" His forehead bent forward to rest on the metal and wood counter of the bar.

Ewan covered his mouth and ruffled the curly head in front of him. "What a wee babby, Dr Purves sent into the lion's den. You just drank half a bottle of my best whiskey and mortified yourself in front of my favorite woman in this whole country. Maybe you ought to drink some water and have a sit for a few. We'll give you something to take to the bell-end in the back."

Jeanie and Ewan's eyes met, and she bit back a smile before leaning over to wrap an arm around her husband's latest protege. "Oh Ewan, I don't think it should be only a story. Why not give the evil genius a bit of a show. Right now he can see Mr Delaney is headed towards a spectacular crash. Im embarrassed. Mr Delaney's embarrassed. You're without very expensive whiskey. Gordon will never let anyone live this down for the semester."

She put her mouth near Billy's ear, "Ten quid is worth SOMETHING. Don't you think? Just look at me." He obliged quicker than she expected. Emerald eyes gazed upwards at her while the heart banged wildly in her chest. "What comes next?"

"I reckon I ought to put my arm on your waist. Right?" his voice now low in her ear and a hand slipped around her hips to draw her as close as possible.

No further guidance was needed as the liquid courage kicked in. Billy stood up and took Jeanie's face in his large hands before he drew her into a rather passionate kiss. Hers instinctively buried in his hair, their tongues dancing as the thought he hustled her entered the back of her mind. How was it that just a few minutes ago he looked ready to vomit at the thought of trying to come on to anyone, not just her. Now he was kissing her like they were Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts. Jeanie’s back slightly arched as Billy dominated her personal space with his height, a hand dangerously on the curve of her backside.

Ewan held his own face, eyebrows lost in his bangs as he watched the two of them go at it for well, he lost time. Glancing up he noticed just about everyone else in the pub was watching too. Gordon positively green with envy and turning purple with anger. Ewan saw him lean to a colleague and mouth, "That wasn't the fucking deal."

"Job done you two," he cleared his throat and practically shouted to break them up.

Jeanie's mouth was cold as it kissed the air. Billy had stumbled backwards a bit, mouth turned down ever slightly in a whoops motion. He walked, swayed really and floated by every single patron, including the group of men he came in with earlier. Fingers pulled at his bottom lip before he passed a devilish grin over his shoulder in Gordon's direction.

Jeanie and Ewan gobsmacked, but pleasantly amused, looked at one another. Mischief in their eyes as Jeanie noticed Billy's sweater draped over the bar. "Mr Balderston, I think I have a grad student to visit this week. It seems Mr Delaney might need his sweater because the Scottish nights get awfully cold."

Orientation came and went, and the students seemed to settle in quicker than normal.  Quite possibly because this was the lowest attendance in the school’s 150 year history.  They had been in danger of shut down, but Jeanie was informed that first Monday by the Board of Directors that an anonymous group of donors had decided, against their wishes, to purchase the school.  Even if no students came back the following school year, or they were down to only 15 or 10 or 5, Saint Fergus would remain open for unknown reasons.  

To say she was relieved was an understatement for Jeanie.  Much needed repairs were being made, and someone had come to put together a state of the art security system.  Which really confused the faculty and dwindling staff.  Who would steal anything from this junk heap?  Even their books were falling apart.  Except they weren’t.  

By the end of the first week, the girls in their dormitories and in the hallways were abuzz with brand new Literature and Maths books.  They were suddenly interested in Oscar Wilde and Pythagoras.  Jeanie watched as three 4th years sat in the windowsill and audibly cracked open their copies of “The Happy Prince,” stars in their eyes.  

“Have you ever seen anyone as good looking as Dr McNamara?  Honestly, I don’t know how I’ll pay attention to anything else but that voice,” she held her book against her chest.

“Oh c’mon Siobhan.  It’s all about the eyes.  I don’t think I’ve seen anything like them.  Proper green.  If he sticks around, I’ll tell Daddy to talk to all of his barrister friends. Get them to enroll their kids here next year.” 

The third girl was clearly in a daydream out the window, “All I heard today was blah blah blah ‘important in oratory history of Ireland’ blah blah.  Lemme tell you, he can give me an oral exam any day.”

Jeanie cleared her throat and the students jumped nearly a mile high.  “It would do you girls a kindness not to sexually harass our newest teacher at Saint Fergus.”  The smallest hint of a smile on her lips.  “Honestly, how is it that I'm headmistress here and have no bloody clue who this mysterious Dr McNamara is?”

“Well rumor has it, Miss, that he bought the school.  Dr Purves hired him for a project at the uni, and he asked to be right in the thick of the school.”  Siobhan shrugged.

“What do you mean?” 

“Oh he’s installing the security system and having a new science laboratory built,” the daydreaming girl chimed in.

“I thought it was a grad student that was teaching here this semester?  Have any of you heard the name Billy Delaney?  I’ve been looking for him the last week or so, but I can't find him in Aberdeen housing.  I’d like to return his sweater.”  Jeanie’s face flushed pink, and the girls all cast a knowing grin in her direction.

“Has Miss got a crush herself?” Siobhan teased.  “There’s no student teachers this year, but did you say Billy Delaney?”  

“Yes.  Does that name sound familiar to you too?”  

The girls stood and handed Jeanie paperback books one by one.  A stack of them, young adult novels that had grown incredibly popular the last few years.  A stone wall with a glowing green and gold light graced the cover.  “A Green Pool of Light: Emerald City to Oz  Book 1” blazed across the top in that standard stereotyped font that represented all things Irish.  The daydreaming girl, Aila Jeanie would come to find out, opened her copy and ran a finger down the page.  “Yeah, he’s like a gender bent Hermione in these books.” 

Jeanie frowned and flipped through the pages.  The girls all started to laugh, not mean-hearted but in the way kids do at adults when they become lost in the world of anyone under 20.  “That’s Dr McNamara, Miss Turner, and he’s living in the Boys Dorms.”

Jeanie blinked a few times, too many times in disbelief.  The girls dissolved into hysterics and headed off to their next set of classes.  Things maybe just got a bit easier but harder at the same time.

--------------------------------------

Jeanie stared incredulously at herself in the mirror.  When exactly was the last time she showed up to any man’s room wearing only a coat and her underwear?  Or well, a sweater in this case.  She waited until the school was dark and quiet, she couldn’t risk one of the students seeing her dressed this way.  On her way to do a dance of seduction.  No, that’s humiliating.  This was all humiliating.  

What in the hell am I  even doing? She thought.  But it was too late, her legs carried her into the halls and across the floors and up into the West Wing where the boys slept. Tip-toeing quick and stealthy to the only source of light on this side of the school.  

Jeanie took a deep breath and knocked on the open door.  His back was to her, sitting with one foot up on the chair, a knee drawn up to his chest in the most awkward of positions.  His dark head was bent over an abundance of little digital boxes spread across a desk that he tinkered with under a magnifying glass.  Several computers and laptops spread around the room running codes attached to various projects simultaneously.  Lost in his work, he ignored her.

Sighing heavily, Jeanie knocked louder this time.  She raised one hand up the door frame, leaning in the most tempting pose she could muster at 11pm on a Thursday.  His head popped up, and he only glanced over his shoulder in her direction before going back to his work.  

“Well took ye long enough to find me, Miss Turner.  Wanna see what I’ve put together for the school?”  he queried without paying any attention to her attire.  

Jeanie felt the bile rise in her throat.  How in the hell was she ever going to feel better about herself when this man wouldn’t even acknowledge her?  Was it too late to just slip back down in the shadows and melt away like she never existed?  Still she took a breath and made her way to the desk and stopped directly behind him.  She bent forward over his shoulder, her hair brushed against his face and neck.  There was a nearly inaudible hitch in his breathing as she picked up one of the boxes.  Did she make him nervous?  Good, she thought and chewed her lip to prevent a smirk sneaking through.

“Well Mr Delaney.  Or is it McNamara?” She studied the box carefully and poked at it with her nail.

“Doctor” he interjected huskily.  He was nervous.  “I’ve got a PhD,” he corrected.

“Are you even old enough for a doctorate?!” she retorted.

“I’m 24, thank you very much.  I suppose that’s quite young to have several PhDs, but I don’t really keep track.  If it makes you feel better, I'm also a chef. Cooking is just science after all,” he said almost dismissively.    “Oh, That is L.I.S.A. you’re holding.  Large-scale Interface Security Application.”

Jeanie snorted; she couldn't help it.   “Do you mean an alarm system?”

“No it’s a specified security application that only I know how to program and,” he caught himself.  “Yes.  It’s an alarm system.”  He rolled his eyes and gently took the machine back from her and placed it amongst the others.

“If you're working with Gordon on some kind of secret project, why are you teaching Literature?” Jeanie launched into everything without really meaning to. “You know Dr Delaney or whoever the hell you are, several of the girls brought to my attention that there’s a character in those young adult novels written by Hannah O'Flaherty. “A Pool of Green Light?” They are quite popular with our 1st-4th years.  You're Billy Delaney aren't you?  That’s why you gave that name in the pub the other night instead of your real name.  That being Cormac McNamara, am I correct?”  She placed her hands on hips hidden in the mass of wool and cable knit.  

"Delaney is part of my last name. Hyphenated.” once again correcting the headmistress.

 "Don't see much of that in men" 

"Well it and my brain are about all my parents left me,” he moved to face his chair towards Jeanie and abandon his project. 

 "Well I bet they're proud of you, Cormac. Or Billy.  Whatever.” she waved her hand dismissively.  “You lot discovered.. what's it called?" 

"Dimensional Dark Matter Transport with the possibility of Inter and Temporal" 

"I mean, Portals. Or to put it in tv nerd terms: Beam me up Scotty" 

"Precisely!” Cormac exclaimed and stood up excitedly.  “And your ex-boyfriend-" 

"Husband" 

“Yes, husband.  Well couldn't have been good at it if he's your ex.” He bit a finger absently, staring off towards the ceiling.  Then snapped back to attention quickly,  “Well he wants to find a way to make it.. Portable. Not just in plotted locations around the globe. And my business partners, em Hannah and Brett if you will, would like it privatized. Dr Purves, he wants the highest bidder." 

"Military?” Jeanie blanched at the thought.  Then her voice drifted off, “So the books ARE real.. You three are real.  Hannah hid the stories in plain sight for the entire world to discover"  And for the first time, she noticed a framed photo on the vast desk.  A trio of happy young people: red-headed girl, pretty with large blue eyes.  A floppy haired, tan surfer type.  And a tall, lanky boy with oval glasses and severely parted hair starting to curl.  Jeanie took the frame and traced her fingertip along the glass. “Sarah, Zack and Billy.  This is like finding out Harry, Ron and Hermione are living, breathing people.  And here you are, in my school.”

"I could show you if you want but.. Miss Turner, why are you only in a sweater?" Cormac stepped back and lifted his glasses and put them back down. He took them off hurriedly as if he was embarrassed to be wearing them.  Turning once more to face her "Is.. Is that MY sweater? You're only in. Jeanie, Where are your pants?" 

"Well I planned on seducing you Mr.." 

"Doctor" -

Jeanie sighed as if she had been defeated, "DOCTOR Delaney-McNamara" 

"Well Ive mucked that up I suppose,” a deep crimson set across his ears.

" I mean you can have your sweater back,” Jeanie arched an eyebrow seductively. Pulling the sweater over her head to reveal only a pair of her nicest black panties and bra underneath.  Nothing else.

"Thank you it's quite my favorite-" Cormac’s eyes widened when he noticed the headmistress in front of him wearing nothing but lingerie.  He squinted briefly while scratching his head.  “Oh.. Jeanie. That’s..” his voice drifted off lost in shock.

Ignoring the embarrassment growing in her chest, Jeanie crossed her arms over her chest.  “Why in the hell did you take your glasses off?”

“Oh, em.. Hannah always tells me I’m far more attractive without them.” he shrugged.

“Just like how Clark Kent is only slightly, by a molecule,” Jeanie pinched her fingers together, “less sexy than Superman with his glasses" 

"But his glasses are fake,” Cormac ignored the obvious joke.  “Right now I can just see shapes. Lovely, curved shapes! but only shapes." waving a hand in her general direction again.

Jeanie sat down on his bed without the sweater, to protect her now she just decided to go with her original plan. She crossed her long legs and leaned back with one hand back on the mattress. "Ok give us a look with the glasses on, Delaney.. Mcnamara?" This was frustrating.

"No, I reckon I'll have the kids call me Cormac" his hands on thin hips as he glanced upwards in thought

"Yes, erase that line of authority between yourself and 11-15 year olds. Don't underestimate them, Billy.  Or Cormac.  Or whatever.  You are probably the smartest professor Saint Fergus has ever had, but you’re handsome.  My girls will eat you alive" 

"I wouldn't go that far!" he was exasperated for some reason. 

"You have five PhDs and can’t even legally rent a car in America yet," Jeanie pointed out. 

Cormac waved her off dismissively.  “No!  Not the smart or genius part.  That is true,” he agreed without pretension. “It’s the handsome part,” he rolled his eyes in frustration.  

“Look McNamara, I can’t tell if you’re being humble or an asshole.  Your constant squinting and inflamed cheeks are ruining my perception.”

"Inflamed.." he touched his face  "It's rather distracting. You in your.  I may realize now that's your intent. I'm not really NEW to this, uh women coming on to me. It's just not always quite so forward?"

 "Had I known you were a doctor of  Quantum Mechanics, my approach would be a little less intense. 10 quid or not, you were the one kissing me last night." Jeanie got up off the bed "Ill go, but can I take your sweater with me? The students don't need to see this" 

"Oh, em do ya have to? You're already here, and I'm sure quite lovely to look at." 

"Cormac put your glasses on" 

"Really?" he was adorably confused "I would have to take them off if we-" 

"Have sex?" 

"I didn't mean to imply- I've never really-" he nervously put his glasses back on. Then started fiddling with his hands and chewing on one. 

"No fucking way!” Jeanie sat up quickly “But you're-" 

"Oh please don't say hot." 

"Well-travelled?"

"I am not completely virginal, I'll have ye know! I've done tings. SEXY tings. I've put my mouth and fingers in places on a woman. I'm just picky about where I’d put my penis."  

Jeanie’s amused now, she can’t help it. An eyebrow raised and a laugh ready to escape because he's pacing around and gesticulating wildly now. "Are.. are you getting more Irish?" 

"MAYBE I AM!" he shouted louder than he meant to, then unexpectedly pulled his shirt over his head.

Jeanie laughed at the absurdity now. "Cormac. Or Billy, whatever you are more comfortable with." She kneeled on the bed coming to the edge of it. "We don't have to do this. I'm not asking you to justify your virginity; that your business. It’s a patriarchal construct anyways to make us feel like we have to engage in sexual activity.  Then when we do, we’re trash.  It’s a no-win situation for anyone. I LIKE you. We have all school year to get to know one another better."

“I think Dr Delaney-McNamara, but Cormac works just fine for you” his tone all at once softer and deeper.  

There was a weird electricity in the air, which very well could have been the obscene amount of tech equipment in the small dorm room.  It could have also been that the atmosphere switched so fast from mortification to that moment your body knows something is going to happen.  Jeanie’s head began to swim when she realized the young man in front of her was unbuttoning his jeans to step out of them.  

“Bloody hell...” was all she could utter before he wrapped her up in his arms.  

Jeanie’s hand on Cormac’s hip and the other tangled in his hair as they found themselves in another kiss.  Mouths dancing together.  She sat back and pulled him down so that he was laying completely on top of her now.  His skin was hot almost like a sunburn.  Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Jeanie thought maybe a literal electricity had settled in him from using the portals so often all these years. Their tongues pushed back and forth, she realized his body began to feel similar to one of those static glass balls.  The kind you press your hand against and every single hair on your body raises?  It was strange and exhilarating and comical all at once. 

The thought was fleeting though because Cormac’s lips made its way down Jeanie’s neck.  The breath caught in her throat as he bit softly before trailing to her chest.  His large hand gripped the flesh of her hip, snaking it around to grab at her backside before settling it between her thighs.  The other struggled to unhook her bra while in their current position, his annoyance eliciting a giggle.  

Managing to roll them so that she was on top now, Jeanie deftly reached behind herself to finish the job.  Her breasts free, Cormac took one in his mouth.  His tongue was warm against her skin as he began to suck and lick at a nipple and the flesh around it.  Alternating between each hungrily, hand still lost in between her thighs.  A  finger began to trace the fabric of her panties.  

Audible gasp now, as Jeanie fumbled to reciprocate any way she could.  Kissing his forehead?  or rocking her hips against his hand, she began to float outside of her body. What was she doing?  Trying to feel wanted after all of this time?  Maybe give the other adults something to gossip about over the weekend.  Attractive new professor, the benefactor of Saint Fergus, fucking the boss his first week in.  Jeanie was his boss, but also his subordinate?  Because Cormac, with Brett and Hannah, owned her livelihood now.  

“What a fine mess we’re in, Delaney,” she managed amongst the new spate of kisses.  

Ignoring Jeanie’s frank statement, Cormac took to nibbling her throat again. Exchanging now for harder bites, just enough to let her know he had the upper hand. Fingers deftly pumping rhythmically with the pulsating of her body. He found that part of her with ease. The button Gordon never could without neon arrows. 

“I walked through an alien portal at sixteen and made one of the greatest scientific discoveries none of us can talk about,” That Irish lilt heavy in her ear. “A fine mess has been the last decade of my life, Ms. Turner.”   

There was almost a reckless abandon as Jeanie unexpectedly came. She cried out; it echoed off the dorm walls briefly before Cormac clamped a hand over her mouth. Their eyes both wide before they lost themselves in a fit of giggles. 

Lying beside each other now on the bed, Jeanie felt self-conscious while Cormac absently twirled a finger in her mass of red hair. She felt his green eyes staring as she traced the infinity symbol with the tip of a nail on his chest. Their breathing patterns quickly marched in time together.

“Not sure why I have a gut feeling your timidity was a fucking game,” Jeanie spoke without a hint of anger. More like curiosity. 

“Only just a little. I am far more capable of handling people in small doses.  There's a  certain anxiety hanging around the average university student. I finished undergrad in a year and graduate school in another. Never really fit in with most people my age. I thrived in a boarding college like this one. Never more than 15 children a class. Miss Murphy let me do as I please because I kept mostly to myself, even when she and the others were strangely codependent on my brain.”  

Cormac’s eyes still trained on Jeanie while he spoke. “I didn't mind. I DON'T mind. My tinkering and projects work bloody fantastic now!” he exclaimed with pride. Those long fingers combed through Jeanie's hair. His gaze became nostalgic, “I transferred my AI tech into the lab at Aberdeen.  There's my  personal version.  She's asleep right now,” he chuckled, gesturing towards the wall of monitors. 

Jeanie grimaced, “She?!” 

“Oh yes! SILVIA! I suppose she'll become LISA’s big sister.” 

“You invented a primitive android.” her response was incredulous.

“No no. SILVIA was a lie detector I installed artificial intelligence in to play ch-..” Cormac caught himself. For the hundredth time that evening, “I suppose. Yes,” he tapped a finger against the soft dimple in his cheek. 

“You suppose!” Jeanie reeled with laughter once more.  

Cormac’s face flushed pink, “You know what I did to you was just basic anatomy that’s easily taught by reading a damn book. I reckon you'd be interested in what else reading has taught me about a woman's body.”

And so it began. 

[embeanwrites]

hey, I was wondering if you could do an Artemis Fowl x reader thingy? I would love if you could do something along the lines of the reader being kinda upset that Artemis is so much smarter and better than her and basically questioning why they're even together 😅 I really want to see how that plays out. (A quick note, I absolutely love your writing and look forward to any new things you're writing at the moment 💕

A/N: Oop this request really came for me and last relationship. I’m glad you’re enjoying my writing!

Masterlist

“Math is stupid.” I mumbled under my breath, pressing my palms into my eyes. Pressing them as hard as I could until all I could see was stars. I was sitting at Artemis’ desk attempting to finish my statistics homework, but it was so confusing. How was I supposed to find the appropriate measure of association? Where do I find E1 and E2? Why did the numbers have to be so big? Why did I have to handwrite all these tables? How could she expect us to remember all of this and more for the exams?

“Are you alright?” Artemis asked me from across the room. I looked up and glared at him, he was reading something that looked like a science textbook. Which further infuriated me.  

“I’m fine.” I answered him through clenched teeth. I looked back down and heard him shut his book. 

“Would you like-”

“No! I would not like some help! You probably started doing problems like this when you were seven and I’m too stupid to even handle the dumb math they give to liberal arts students!” I snapped at him. He seemed taken aback for a second and let my head fall on to the table. I felt his hand on my shoulder, I glanced up at him. I realized I was crying, quickly brushed tears away and looked back to my homework. Artemis pulled up a chair and sat next to me. 

“Please let me help you. I don’t like seeing you this upset.” He whispered. He put one of his hands on my back, he started rubbing small comforting circles. 

“Why are you with me?” His hand froze. I looked over at him, his eyebrows were furrowed and he had a confused look on his face. 

“What do you mean?” He whispered. 

“I’m so stupid! I can’t even do simple math and you’re so freaking smart! You could probably solve all the world's problems within a week! You should be with someone who’s smart and can keep up with you. I just-” He cut me off by kissing me roughly, taken by surprise it took me a moment to respond. When he pulled back he kept his forehead against mine. I could feel his breath mixing with mine.

“Please don’t talk about yourself like that. Everyone has a weakness, so what if math’s yours? Your social skills are way superior to mine. Sometimes I get jealous with how easy you can communicate with those around you. I feel like I could sit two enemies in the same room with you and they would come out as best friends.” He cupped my cheek and brushed some tears from my face. He kissed my nose, lingering for a moment. “This is your last math class, right?” I nodded. “You’ve got four weeks left, you can do this. I know it’s difficult, but you’re smarter than you’re giving yourself credit for.” 

“But who even knows if I’ll pass.” I whispered hoarsely. “What if I have to retake all of this again? I don’t think I can handle this again.” 

“You will pass. Have some confidence in your abilities.” He glanced over to my homework. “May I help you?” Biting my lip, I nodded. Artemis smiled and kissed me one more time before moving the homework so it was between the both of us. 

“I’m sorry for snapping.” Artemis had started writing some equations onto my paper, when he looked up at me with a small smile. 

“Don’t fret about it. Once we finish this maybe you could make it up to me.” He gave me an awkward wink, causing me to laugh. 

“You’re ridiculous.” I playfully shoved him. Any feelings of not being good enough for him lifted off my shoulders. 

“That wasn’t a no.” He commented, causing me to roll my eyes. 

“Just help me with this, we can worry about what’s next later.” He smiled and turned back to the homework.

[thatssonanii]

Fight

Bloodline Family Series / Parental Paragraphs

"Aye, Milo."

Taking his head out of his locker for a moment, Milo looked at his classmate with his brow raised. He was trying to switch his math book for his Spanish one while he waited for his cousins to meet him. They always walked to their third period class together.

"Your mama comin' to the game Friday?"

Milo rolled his eyes as he continued with what he was doing. "She's always at my games, VJ. Everybody knows that."

Milo watched VJ's two friends laugh and whispered behind him. His patience was starting to wear thin. Milo and his cousins never messed with VJ or his friends. Not their type of people.

"So, shit," he shrugged, "That mean your fine ass aunties comin' too then?"

"And so are my uncle's and my dad. You wanna say that shit to them? Cause I'm sure they'd love to hear it."

"Stop being so hostile, man. Just put in a good word for me and my boys. We know they fine asses get real lonely when they men ain't here."

Milo slammed his locker, cradling his Spanish book on his other hand. He glared at the three boys, he could feel his face start to heat up. "And what the hell would they want with y'all?"

"They look like they could use some dick," VJ said grabbing onto his dick. "Especially ya moms. Her face always tore up, ya pops must not know what he doin."

"Get outta here talkin about my mama. Don't get messed up."

VJ and his friends laughed as other students started to notice the tension. "Stop bein like that, Milo. I'm tryna help. Ya moms is just my type too. Small waist, nice titties and a fat ass. Shit, aunties got ass too."

As VJ threw his head back to laugh, Milo dropped his book and swung. His fist connecting with VJ's jaw. The hit knocked VJ off his feet. His friends that were once laughing now stood silently, watching their friend for his next move. None of them expected that from Milo. Just as VJ picked himself up a small crowd started to form around the boys, VJ's friends faded back into it.

"Your soft ass hit me in my fuckin' mouth. Ya ass can't take a joke?" VJ complained holding his jaw.

Milo huffed ignoring the pain in his hand. "Don't talk about my mama or my aunties. I told you that."

"I say whatever the fuck I wanna say. You got lucky that time, next time you better hope you don't miss."

"Whatever, bruh. Keep them out ya mouth."

"How bout this? You tell them to keep my dick outta they mouths then withcha bitch ass."

Milo attacked VJ's face and upper body with repeated blows. VJ was able to get two hits in before Milo tackled him to the ground. Those punches only pissed Milo off even more.

While Milo was beating VJ up, Eli and Koda were coming out of the stairwell. They were held up by their literature teacher. Koda saw the crowd and pointed it out to his cousin.

"Bet it's some hoes fightin'," Eli joked.

Koda laughed as they approached the cirlcle. "Let Auntie hear ya ass say that shit."

They boys bowed their way through the fight. They laughed at their peers who were screaming for someone to break it up and at the ones recording the fight. But when they got to the middle, their smiles were gone. Milo was still on top of VJ, VJ was attempting to fight back but it wasn't working. Milo was beating his ass. Both boys cursed to themselves before pulling Milo off of the boy. As they were pulling Milo back, the assistant principal and the principal came barreling through the tight circle with school security in tow. School security and principal grabbed the cousins up, escorting them to the office while the assistant cleared the other students and checked on VJ. The cousin got thrown inside the principal's office. The security left them with the principal.

"I expect this kind of behavior out of you two," Principal Brown said looking at Koda and Eli. "But you, Mr. Fatu. I'm shocked that you allowed your cousins pull you into this mess."

Eli sucked his teeth and threw his hands up. "I'm real offended that you think that low of me, Mr. Brown. It wasn't even me, I was the peace maker. Koda too."

"Peace maker my foot. You just close your mouth until your parents get here."

"Forreal," Koda stressed. "The fight had started before we even got there. We broke it up, Milo was beatin' VJ ass."

"Watch your mouth, Mr. Reigns. Is that true, Mr. Fatu?" He asked with the phone to his ear.

Milo said nothing, he stared straight ahead. Opening and closing his fists.

"It's true," Eli answered loudly, "I ain't get nan lick in. Cuzzo ain't let us get a two piece, nothin. Straight dogged VJ ass."

"I was talking to that Mr. Fatu. Not you, Eli." Mr. Brown said dialing the first number. "And watch your mouth."

"I just got a question. Why they get 'Mr." and I'm just Eli. That's messed up, Mr. Brown. Thought we were better than that."

All three sets of parents pulled up at the same time. The men allowed their wives to go in front of them. Jimmy and Trinity were pissed, they didn't have time to deal with Eli and his attitude. Kandice and Roman were annoyed, Koda was always following up Eli. They were sure whatever happened could have been avoided. Apryl and Jey were upset that Eli no good ass couldn't stay his ass out of trouble therefore Milo couldn't stay his ass out of trouble. Simba was just happy to be out of the house and able to go to Milo's school. He skipped in between the group of parents. The secretary allowed them into the conference room where the principal had moved the boys. Jimmy and Trinity went straight to Eli, both of them slapping him in the back of his head.

"Yoooo," he sung out holding his had, "Yall wild. That wasn't even me! It was Creed over there."

Kandice twisted Koda's ear. "What did you do?"

"Me? Im the most innocent thing sittin' in here. Mike Tyson over there knocking people out and that one said hoes again. It's them Fatu boys, Mama. I'm an angel."

Roman smacked the back Koda's neck, glaring down at him.

"I'm just sayin', Pop."

"How about you don't say anything?" Roman warned.

Simba climbed into his brother's lap, the parents sat on either side of their children waiting for the principal to tell them what happen.

"Seems that you sons were involved in a fight with another boy. The boy is bruised up pretty bad, there's an ambulance on the way for him."

"Ambulance? What did y'all do?" Trinity asked glaring at her son. "Yall jumped that boy? For what?"

"What? No! We," Eli stressed pointing to himself and Koda, "didn't get nan lick in, Ma. Milo fought that boy."

"Stop lyin," Jimmy spat.

Mr. Brown cleared his throat. "If I may. Eli is telling the truth. I viewed the cameras, it was a one on one fight. Mr. Fatu fought the other boy. Eli and Mr. Reigns here we're trying to break it up. But Eli, you did, in fact, get a hit in. I saw that much. Mr. Reigns did also but it was after Mr. Fatu hit him on accident and Mr. Reigns assumed the other boy hit him though."

"See. Here we go with this Eli stuff. I wanna be 'Mr. Fatu', call fight night over there Milo."

"Shut your ass up, Elijan."

"Yes, Mama." Eli sat back in his chair pouting. Even when he wasn't in trouble, he was in trouble.

"So what you're saying is my son did this," Apryl asked with a smirk. "Can we see this footage? Cause I don't know if I believe that my goofy baby did that. Especially for the boy to need an ambulance."

Mr. Brown went to stand but Eli held his hand up making every adult in the room suck their teeth. "Koda got the video, Auntie. Shorty from first period sent it to him." Eli smirked.

"Why that lil heffa got your number?" Kandice whispered.

"Not the time, Kandi," Roman chastised, "Give me your phone, Koda."

Koda unlocked his phone and went to the message thread before handing the phone over. "Aight. Pops don't scroll left or right and as soon as the video is over look away."

Roman glared at his son as he snatched the phone out of his hands. The twins, Trinity and Apryl got up to get a closer look at the phone. They gasped and cussed to themselves as they watched the beat down Milo gave. Once the video was over, Apryl couldn't help but smile. She was proud. Patting her son on the back when she got back to her seat.

"I'm just still confused. My son is goofy as shit, he don't do stuff like that." Jey argued.

"I mean, he is my kid, Jey. I taught him something. Bedside that goofy shit he got from you."

"Look at his hands, Apryl. His knuckles are bruised and bleeding."

"That's cause he beat his ass, Jey."

Jey waved her off turning his attention back to the principal. "Why were they fighting?"

"Apparently the boy made some unsavory comments about both Mrs. Fatus and Mrs. Reigns. Mr. Fatu attempted to settle the issue verbally but the boy kept talking."

Trinity looked around her brother in law to Milo, a small smile on her face. "I appreciate you standing up for us, Lo. But you didn't have to do all that."

"We're grown, baby. Whatever he said doesn't matter, you know it wasn't true."

"With all due respect, Mama," Koda added. "VJ mouth is reckless. If it's anything like what he said to me and Eli the other day then ion blame Milo for gettin his ass."

"Yeah. Me and Koda got his ass though. He tried Milo cause he thought my boy wasn't bout shit." Eli shrugged. Trinity turned slowly to look at her son. She wanted to tell him to be quiet but she knew all he was trying to do was help.

"What did he say to y'all, Ko?" Roman asked now starting to calm his nerves.

Koda looked at his dad then at his mama and shook his head. "I can't say."

"Tell me, Koda."

"I'd like to, Pops but I can't repeat what he said. There's women in the room," He sighed, "One of which will beat me if I tried."

Every adult in the room then turned their attention to Eli, who sat playing with his fingers oblivious to their watching. Jimmy smacked his chest lightly gaining his attention. "What's up, Dad?"

"Tell us what he said to y'all."

"But there's women and a child in the room," he smirked.

"And your ass don't care any other time. Start talking, Elijan."

"Aight, aight. Don't hit me," he demanded pointing his finger at his mama. She pushed it away and told him to talk. "He asked me and Koda if we thought our Mamas would fuck him, course we said fuck no and he got all pissy. So then he was like Mama, Auntie A and TK got dick sucking lips so I punched his ass in the stomach. He kept talking shit though. He was like 'ima fuck ya mamas and be ya step daddy' or some stupid as shit like that so Koda slapped fire from his ass. He said something else so we caught him after school and beat his ass."

"Koda Makai," Kandice sneered pinching his arm.

"What, Mama? We wasn't letting nobody talk about y'all like that. Fuck we look like? I'm glad Milo beat VJ ass. He need to learn to keep his mouth shut."

"That's enough, Koda," Roman said squeezing his shoulder. Koda sucked his teeth and sat back in his chair.

"He lucky we wasn't there or it would've been worse," Eli added with a nod.

Apryl rubbed the side of Milo's face still wearing her proud smile. Simba laid against his brother's chest, playing with the buttons on Milo's shirt. "I'm proud of you for standing up for us, baby. But maybe next time you hold back a lil bit."

"Apryl," Kandice and Trinity called.

"What? I'm just saying. I'm not condoning fighting but it was for a good reason."

"Stop talkin, A." Apryl rolled her eyes at her husband, she went back to rubbing her baby's face. They didn't have to be proud of him, she was.

The principal stood to leave the room. "I'm gonna go get their paperwork. Mr. Reigns and Mr. Eli will be suspended for eight days per policy. Even though they were helping, it's against policy and they both threw punches." Their parents nodded, they understood. "And Mr. Fatu would be suspended for ten days as well as the other young man. They will not be able to play in the game this Friday, either."

As soon as the door closed behind the principal, Eli started laughing. "Ayyye. He gave me respect. I knew we were cool."

"You shut your ass up," Jimmy chastised. "You just happy you ain't in trouble this time."

"Damn right. We bout to enjoy these days," he laughed holding his hand out to Koda. Koda went to slap his cousin's hand but he could feel both parents staring holes in the sides of his head. "Come on TK and Unc. We ain't do shit this time. We not in trouble."

"Didn't your daddy tell you to hush?" Kandice asked sternly.

"He actually told me to shut my ass up, TK. There's a difference." Eli sassed then put his hands up to block the hits he knew was coming.

"Lo, you good? You hurt?"Jey asked examining his hands.

"No, he not hurt. My baby don't have a scratch on him. That's my baby."

"He's your baby but you ain't realized his ass ain't said shit the whole time we been here, Apryl."

Apryl's smile turned into a frown. She was so happy to hear Milo finally got into a fight and won that she didn't realize he was still upset. "What's wrong, baby?" She asked softly. Milo pushed away from the table, he sat Simba in his Mama's lap before getting up. Jey asked what was wrong but Milo ignored him, making a b line for the door. His father, uncles and cousins trying to stop him as his mama, brother and aunties watched in confusion. They held him back but that didn't stop him from trying to get out the door.

"Where you tryna go, son?" Jey asked now standing in front of Milo. "Where you goin, baby?"

"To get VJ. I wasn't finished."

"You got em, cuz. I'm sure his ass regret all the shit he been sayin." Eli assured patting his back.

The men held Milo back until he stopped fighting them and laid all his weight on his father. Jey held him tightly, whispering a few things to his first born. He kept talking until Milo's breathing became regular again. Apryl watched them starting to feel bad. She had no idea he was that upset. The principal came back in with their papers. He had questions but decided against asking and just gave their papers out letting them know they could leave. Jey held onto his son as they walked through the office in front of the rest of the family. They passed VJ on their way out, all of them shocked at the damage Milo had done. All of them except Simba. Simba wiggled out of his Mama's arms to run over to VJ. He screamed then started attacking the young man. "Don't touch my brodder! My brodder!" Apryl and Trinity pulled him off, trying not to laugh. Kandice got him from them, holding Simba tightly under her arm as he kicked and screamed out the office.