#if you're confused about the context of these characters. you can look through their tags or my oc tag for info

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

False Sunsets

Notes: Holy shit. OC story. Wacky, huh? This is around 1′300 words, and is about my 90′s game OCs, Lawrence and Miss Panack. I’ve been thinking of them a lot. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Miss Panack had lost track of how long she had been staring at the picture.

           She sat atop a round hill, the flat, low resolution texture on it making it appear to be grass and dirt. A pre-rendered environment surrounded her, lazily modeled trees and plants being placed next to the skybox, devolving into 2D textures of real trees the further from Panack they got. Behind the fake trees and grass however was the picture she had been staring at; the skybox she had become transfixed with. It was a pixelated photo of a sunset, peeking out above the tree line.

           It was beautiful; a bright yellow sun behind pink and orange clouds, the sky turning from a reddish orange to a deep blue-purple. The colors were entrancing to Panack, feeling like a painter’s palate of the best colors one could discover. She kept staring at the sunset through her 3D modeled eyes, her left one being green, and the other being completely orange, with a spiral swirling towards the middle of it, where her pupil would’ve been. Her low-poly hands were placed on her knees, both of the hands having only four fingers, being different colors from the other. She looked as though she was crossing her arms, if she had arms in the first place instead of disembodied hands. She always wondered if it was a purposeful design choice, or the developers being lazy.

           Panack’s entire body was a cacophony of different shapes and colors; deep red and white, purple and orange, blue and yellow. Her neck and head were mostly red, with stripes of blue and yellow going up her neck. Her face was white, with little features aside from the stripe of blue looking vaguely like a nose. Her mouth was full of flat, triangular teeth, turned downwards in a frown. Her body was made up of mostly simple shapes like cones and rectangles, though her upper body, neck, and head were vaguely close to a real person’s anatomy, albeit very simplistic. Panack often wondered why she was designed that way, almost feeling like she looked like a child’s drawing. Perhaps it was supposed to reference the works of Pablo Picasso, though Panack thought they did a pretty poor job of it.

           “Awful lonely…sitting here in silence.”

           Panack was nearly startled by the soft voice behind her before settled, sighing slightly. “Leave me alone, Lawrence.” She said quietly, looking towards her feet.

           Lawrence was an admittedly more simplistic looking figure, with his head being a simple black triangular shape with eyes on the sides of it, the pupils also being triangles. His torso was an inverted cone, and his long neck was just a cylinder with a white collar on it. His thin arms and legs were covered in a “suit”, which had a red and yellow striped suit jacket, along with blue pants, gloves, and a blue bow tie; however, most of it was just the textures on his model. A small red top hat with a white ribbon tied around it floated above his head, and he was holding a striped cane with one of his blocky hands.

           “Is something wrong, Miss P?” Lawrence asked, leaning over to look Panack in the face.

           “No.” Panack wasn’t necessarily telling the truth, though she wasn’t in the mood for another conversation that led nowhere.

           Lawrence remained silent for a moment before looking back at Panack. “You know…if there’s anything you want to talk about, I’m always here to chat.”

           “I…don’t want to talk right now.” Panack leaned forward slightly with a half-lidded, almost tired glare at nothing in particular. “It’s…been a long day.”

           “Really?” Lawrence asked, sitting next to Panack as he stared at her quizzically. “Didn’t think you were very busy. No one even played with us today.”

           “No one’s played with us for years, Lawrence.” Panack stared at her friend with a tinge of annoyance in her voice. “Have you been paying attention? It’s…It’s not 1995 anymore.”

           “Well, perhaps so. Though I still think there’s a chance to—”

           “God damn it, can you just admit that we’re irrelevant?” Panack interrupted, her “brows” furrowing and her green eye showing irritation. “No one cares about us anymore; we’ve been discontinued for years. We’re just in this bottom of the bin game you only find in some old box you forgot about.”

           Lawrence seemed stunned, though before Panack could think she made a good point to him, he began to speak. “Language! You do realize this game’s meant for children, correct?”

           It wasn’t even related to the matter at hand.

           Panack let out an annoyed groan before holding her knees even closer to her chest, looking away and back towards the 2D sunset in the distance. Lawrence’s eternally blank expression continued to be faced towards her before he too looked forward at the area around them. “…You…do like your job here…right?”

           Panack glanced towards him, his eye meeting her gaze before looking away once again. “I…” Panack thought for a moment before sighing deeply through lungs she didn’t have. “…Yes. Well…I guess so. I mean…I like being able to interact with them…the player I mean. Seeing the child we helped teach grow up. But…” She paused once again before shaking her head, deciding she didn’t want to go through the same conversation yet again. “…Never mind.”

           “…That’s good to hear.” Lawrence stated, not even noticing the defeated tone in her voice. He stood up, turning towards the doorway at the top of the hill, where he entered the “room” from. The doorway led to what seemed like a black void with orange and black tiled flooring, and a cityscape seemed to be the skybox of said void. However, before he entered it, Panack spoke up, her voice quiet.

           “You think they’re prettier in person?”

           Lawrence turned back towards her, tilting his head slightly.

           “The sunset.” Panack turned back towards the sunset in the distance, her voice somber. “…The colors of the clouds…the pinks, oranges and yellows…do you think they’re prettier in person?”

           Lawrence remained silent for a moment, thinking to himself as he looked at the ground. “Well…who knows, Miss P? It’s certainly possible.” Lawrence stated. “I’ve never seen one before. Though…the picture has to be just as good, right?”

           Panack didn’t think so, hunching over even more.

           Lawrence turned back towards the doorway before taking one last look at Miss Panack. “You know…you can stay here as long as you’d like, Miss P.” He said. “However, I must be going. Have to get everything ready.”

           “Ready for what?” Panack asked quietly.

           “In case anyone stops by!” Lawrence answered with his usual chipper voice. “Gotta be prepared in case the player does decide to drop in…whenever they do of course. Anyway, I’ll catch you later Miss P, and…remember I’m always here to chat. Toodleloo!”

           With that, Lawrence left, presumably to do…whatever he needed to do for the player that may never come. Panack continued to stare at the sunset in front of her, feeling a sense of sadness within her. She knew Lawrence wouldn’t understand her concerns; he never did. It was frustrating, though she knew he wasn’t a bad person. He was simply ignorant and willingly oblivious to the fact that things weren’t perfect in their little digital world. Panack was, and sometimes she wished she was as lucky as him.

           Panack sighed, lowering her head as she stared at her feet. She wished she could feel the cool air of the evening, and breathe in the fresh air. She wished she could take walks in nature, seeing and feeling the plants under her feet. She wished she could be out there, in the real world, where things weren’t made from polygons and textures. She wanted to see the sunset, she really did; and as she cried in the faint orange glow from the fake picture of one, she wondered if it was ever meant to be.

[cheapshrimpysheep]

First Date - Scarabia

SUMMARY: What would your first date with him be like? I know first dates might not go so well, but let's pretend these are different. ;)

CHARACTERS: Kalim Al-Asim & Jamil Viper

TAGS: Fluf; GN Reader; Flirting; Kissing

WARNING: Spoilers from: Book 4 AND A Firelit Sky: over the Sands

WORD COUNT: An average of 670 words per character.

Heartslabyul / Savanaclaw / Octavinelle / Scarabia / Pomefiore / Ignihyde / Diasomnia

COMMENTS: I managed to write this one in one day. First because there are only two characters. But second, because I feel that Kalil is relatively easy to write and because I'm similar to Jamil in many ways, what I write about him tends to flow easily.

I hope you enjoy ;)

Kalim's already taken you on a carpet ride, took you to Scarabia’s Oasis, taken you to his homeland, showed you the fireworks of Al'ab Nariya. What the heck is he going to do for your date?!?! JAMIL HELP!!! First of all: No animal parades!

They both discuss it for some time until Jamil says that it’s not a bad idea to do something you've done before but in a different way. Kalim's taken you on a carpet ride before, but not in a romantic context. And you two have been to the Oasis, but not alone.

He still wants to do something new, something bigger, but he trusts Jamil's opinion and advice. After all, he knows you too, maybe he's right and that's enough for a first date.

He surprises you one night. You hear someone knocking on your bedroom window, which is on the first floor. When you draw the curtains, he's there, sitting on his flying carpet. And he invites you to go with him, somewhere. It's a surprise. Do you trust him?

You ride around the NRC for a while, enjoying the view of the campus at night, before he takes you to Scarabia, to fly once more through those skies, this time at night. And it's Beautiful! The sky was clear, revealing all the stars surrounding the large half moon. And this time, you weren't talking about Jamil, but about each other.

He talks and smiles a lot. He asks a lot about you, you likes, your world, etc. He's so curious about the person he has a crush on. And he ends up getting very close to you without realizing it. Your shoulders touching. Maybe the carpet fakes a little turbulence to get the two of you even closer, to the point where you're in each other's arms. If you don't show yourself uncomfortable, or on the contrary, even smile about it, then you will stay that way for the rest of the ride.

You arrive at the Oasis. The moon reflecting in the calm waters. He helps you get off the carpet and starts looking around muttering something like “Where was it again?” The carpet flies to one of the nearby palm trees and returns with a basket and picnic blanket, and Kalim thanks it. Needless to say, it was Jamil who put the basket in there and prepared the food.

The two of you continue talking as you eat, sitting on the picnic blanket by the water. He looks like he's having as much fun as you are, until his expression gets slightly less excited because he's remembered something: “Um... (Y/N)?... Are you enjoying the date? I mean, I think you are, you're smiling a lot. But... is this really enough? It doesn't feel enough.”

You tell him that this is enough, of course it is. The two of you being together is enough to make you smile. Being alone with Kalim like this, on an official date, is more than enough. And he's so glad about that! He is so relieved that he can make you so happy with so little. That means he can always make you happy and see your wonderful smile.

He hugs you and tells you how he’s felling, how happy he is that you are happy by his side. Then the carpet nudges him in the shoulder. He looks confused for a moment, until he realizes what the carpet brought him that he had already forgotten about. “AH! Yeah, I was having so much fun I forgot. You're a lifesaver.” he says to the carpet.

He gives you a big bouquet of jasmines. At Scalding Sands, he told you about the story of the thief who gave jasmines to the princess he loved, remember? You look at the beautiful flowers and Kalim's big and sweet smile. You have nothing to give him... except for, maybe, a thank you kiss.

Jamil is always busy and stressed. Yet somehow, he managed to arrange a night for the two of you. He's managed to get some Scarabian students responsible enough to take care of Kalim while he's with you. However, if something happens he won't be too far away, because he took you to Scarabia anyway.

He took you to the empty room where you stayed when... well, he kinda kidnapped you... You had no idea what he had planned until he opened the door. It wasn't empty. It had cushions on the floor, a small table for eating, opaque and translucent fabrics decorating the walls. It reminded you a little of his dorm lounge, but more romantic. And it was night, so the only things illuminating the interior were the moonlight coming through the small window and the lighted lamps. He did all that for you?

A quiet and comfy place where he can have a dinner and rest with you, this is what he prepared for you two. You enter and sit on the cushions in front of the table full of food prepared by him. He made your favourite foods, his favourite foods, new foods that you said at some point you wanted to try, an authentic feast to the taste of both of you.

He will look at you discreetly while you eat something you like, to appreciate the face you make when you're delighted by it. When you try something new, he will offer to feed you, again because he wants to see your reaction. Of course everything is delicious, he doesn't have to worry about you not liking the dishes and he knows it. After all, he was careful to make things he knew you would like, removing all the ingredients you didn't like.

You're on a date, which means you have a crush on each other and which makes him allow himself to be more cheeky. At the end of dinner, he will take advantage of you leaning back a little and lay his head on your thighs. When he sees your blushing face he smirks a little. Truth being told, he's blushing a little bit himself. You can see he's tired, despite his attempts to hide it from you. That and you can feel his body relaxing. After all, it's his date too.

You start petting his head his head and playing with his hair, and you see a smile so sweet and so rare that it warms your heart. He reaches out to caress your cheek. “Can I ask you something?” you nod and he smirk once more “Could you feed me some grapes?” you raise an eyebrow, still smiling a little “Please? I've always been curious to know what it felt like.”

You take the bunch of grapes and bring them close to you so that you can take one grape at a time and feed it to Jamil. You see his expression is a little smug, but grateful and appreciative too. You two chat while you feed him the grapes, until he gently takes your hand before you can take it back to the bunch of grapes and kiss it.

His kiss was so soft and caring, you couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to have them on yours. He gets up, sits beside you, and look you in the eyes. Your first reflection? After what happened when he took you to Scarabia the first time? Quickly look away, as if dodging something.

He lets out a low gasp. “Wait, no, I’m, not...” he gives you a moment, until he brings his hand to your cheek “I'm sorry, really sorry. But I promise you I won't do it to you ever again. It's different now. I didn't know you. But now I do.” with his other hand, he takes yours “I don't do that to people I care about. And know I care about you. Please... let me see your eyes.” You give in and look into his eyes. And you feel nothing but your heart racing. And his face comes even closer to yours.

If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[fromfiction]

(excuse the slight lengthiness of this ask pls 😭)

um hello! i’ve seen you answering questions on this blog, so i hope you can answer this one! /nf

i’m entirely new to the term and idea of “fictionkin” but ever since i found out about what fickin was and what it meant, i figured it might be me but i couldn’t be 100% sure because of a smaller thing.

for a bit more context which i feel may be important: i pretty much spent all my life mentally viewing myself as literally animated, as animated medias have always been a special interest since i was little (i’m now diagnosed w/ autism which is why i used that term btw). though i never truly viewed myself as any canon character, i always viewed myself as my self insert sonas growing up, my finest examples of this through the years would be self insert sonas of mlp and eddsworld. nowadays, as my main special interest is my own work (as a writer and artist) i mentally view myself as my persona, i always have during these current years and i believe i always will, to the point where i don’t even associate myself with my body or face physically bc i’ve always viewed myself as some sort of fictional version of myself and in my mind that’s how i look to myself. to put this in terms of an example, i once told someone that my physical body is like a car because i like to decorate it and make it look nice and i use it to get around in this world, but my persona is the driver because in my mind, that’s who i am and i’m simply using this “car” to get around (remember this is an example i don’t literally think my body is a car lmao)

but yea, the reason i’m very confused is because i always see fictionkins identifying as canonical characters from a media, or ig even self inserts as i’ve heard somewhere (correct me if i’m wrong) but i never hear about people identifying as their OWN characters if this makes sense. in my mind, a fictional character is a fictional character, which would include my persona that is very much fictional in every way (atp my persona is a developed character with fictional lore, other worldly traits (like magic), and is always a part of little scenarios or short stories i make up for comfort or outta boredom, just happens to resemble me irl in most ways but is basically how i view myself mentally down from personality to clothes that i really connect with but don’t really wear irl)

but anyway yes, i’ve tried and tried to research for anything that might be similar to my case but i don’t really find much at all.

i hope this ask was okay to send, ik it might be lengthy ik you weren’t asking for my “life story” it’s just that i’ve always wondered what was wrong with me in terms of this topic and why i viewed myself as being a fictional character, and now that i feel closer to a possible answer it’s very relieving but still confusing since i don’t know if the label really fits what i go through. i can’t help but wonder if it’s also maladaptive daydreaming or multiple things/something else but i prob can’t expect much advice or help w that on this blog which is perfectly okay lmao

again, if you read this or even answer this, thank you i’ve really needed to ask this desperate question to someone who seems to know a lot about this subject for possible help so i came here bc i saw that this blog was active for the most part! i’m also sorry if i asked things that weren’t okay to ask or have said/assumed things that weren’t okay either, again i’m very new to fictionkin as a whole.

have a great day and thank you <3

Hey friend. No worry about asking!

It sounds like you're asking if you can be fictionkin of an "original character".

The answer is absolutely. There are plenty of people who are kin of their own ocs, you just don't usually see them talking about it, mostly because their posts don't end up in fandom tags.

[queer-ragnelle]

I am so sorry if you have answered this before, I was just wondering if you knew of a good way to get into Arthurian literature? Like… what to read first and what definitely not to read first?

Everything I can find when I search for a good list or order talks about modern retellings, but I am not sure how to get into the older ones. They are a bit hard to approach, so I am worrying that I may be going about it wrong.

I’ve just been slowly collecting different tellings from old book stores over the years, but there is so much that I am not sure where to begin..

hi there! no need to apologize, it's all very overwhelming and confusing. i've answered this question before, but have since added more literature, so i'll go in depth. :^) determining where to start really depends on what you're looking to get out of your reading experience.

lots of people recommend le morte d'arthur by sir thomas malory for an overall understanding of the basic premise without having to read the long and scary vulgate cycle. but as i said in this ask, it's not my favorite text, as it truncates the story so much it can cause confusion. yet it's the "shortest" (ie 1,000 pages lol) recounting of events from arthur's conception through his death, as well as incorporating the often-excluded story from the prose tristan, and adding character-defining elements we've all come to accept as part of the "canon" such as gareth beaumains's humble beginnings as a kitchen boy. (in the vulgate, his story is largely the same as the elder bros he tags along with. in fact, @lefresne and i discovered each of us had a transcription/translation of the vulgate which referenced two different manuscripts of the same story, but had swapped the names guerrehet/gaheriet [gareth/gaheris] and confused the hell out of us bc we had varied accounts of the same scene and were both right! scribes mistake? point is there's not a substantial differentiation between them until the post vulgate and le morte d'arthur, so reading that will give you needed context/depth!)

on the other hand, le morte d'arthur doesn't include some even later additions to the "canon" that are now famous and get incorporated into many retellings, such as sir gawain and the green knight and the wedding of sir gawain and dame ragnelle. (are these a deal breaker to comprehend a retelling? not necessarily. but despite gawain's track record with many ladies, if an author writes in a wife for him, on god, they always choose ragnelle. so that poem is a must<3)

so it's really your own judgment call! no matter what, you'll likely need to read more than one book for fuller context to understand the common "fandom" talking points and frequently adapted stories. in any case, i've just made an FAQ where you can go and figure out what stories will suit your needs. i hope this helps. have a nice day!

[bamdelune]

In Hindsight 📹 Ch. 04: "the day i died once pt. 1"

notes. please do me a favor and pretend the first slide is actually edited to be posted as a twitter circle tweet 🙏

A familiar pattern of knocks echoed throughout the room. Your head turned to the door in confusion, Baizhu wasn't supposed to be coming in here today. He only came by on weekends.

The door slides open with the rolling sound of the gear to reveal the doctor and what looked like to be Kunikuzushi behind him. The general aura of the mood Baizhu entered the room with was eerily heavy as if someone just died.

"Good afternoon, Y/N." He greets, his tone slightly awkward. You return his greeting and say your hello to Kunikuzushi as well, to which he nods at in acknowledgement.

"Doctor Baizhu, is something the matter? You don't usually come in here on a weekday like this." You ask, nervously fiddling with your fingers. A sense of dread was pushing against your stomach and spread throughout your body.

Baizhu clears his throat, "I'm afraid there's something that needs to be discussed that prompted my visit."

Kunikuzushi has now also turned his attention towards the physician, eyes curious as well. Baizhu takes a deep breath, "I don't wish to scare you but it's inevitable. I fear that your condition has worsened. Ergo, you don't have much left, dear."

Silence fills the room, save for the whirring of the air conditioner. Other than that, you might as well have heard a pin drop. The tension was far too thick for your liking, anyone could cut through it with a knife.

"What?"

That's why Baizhu looked mournful when he came in. He was mourning a dead man walking.

"How much do I have left." Your tone comes out more strained that intended, as if your voice was about to crack.

"11 months. Even then, you're pushing it."

That wasn't so bad, right? You just wouldn't be there to see your album, the one that you've waited so long to start on, in all its glory after the production process. You wouldn't be alive to celebrate it with Xinyan, Aether, and Lumine.

notes. and we're finally at turning point #1 of this au! things will get easier to lay out from here and i hope everyone enjoys what's to come <;3

synopsis. You are a singer-songwriter. Music has always been a part of you, it's a part of your identity that no one can ever take away. However, there's always a catch: you are diagnosed with a chronic illness that puts your life on a timer. Those who have heard your countless melodies have grown to notice that the notes on the sheet played a gloomier tune. Would the snarky and capable medical student you've met be able to bring life back into these melodies? Even as life begins to seep out of your own body? (scaramouche x gn!reader)

tags. gender-neutral reader, angst, fluff, crack, heavy contexts of death and illnesses, friends to lovers, slowburn, profanities, drinking (characters are in college), suggestive themes but no nsfw.

taglist. (open, reply or send an ask to be added) — @beriiov @alatusorrow @br0oke96 @ohmyfinggod @itzblazekun @featuredtofu @sketcheeee

masterpost ★ masterlist © bamdelune 2023. do not repost, translate, plagiarize any of my works without permission, thank you so much! reblogs, notes, and comments are always appreciated!

[cacodaemonia]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks so much for the tag, @lyntergalactic! :D I feel like I've done this before, but it must have been a while ago. It looks fun! (also, I'm pasting just the questions at the bottom of the post if anyone wants to copy those)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 247, though I'm not really sure what the ratio is for images versus fics... Okay, apparently, 97 of them are tagged with 'fanart' and have fewer than 100 words, so somewhere around 100 image-only works and 147 fics.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,141,145; which includes a few collabs and fics for which I just contributed an image.

3. What fandoms do you write for? TCW exclusively 😅 Though I've done a handful of images for other things like Arcane, Dune, Trigun, The Expanse, House of the Dragon...

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? A bunch of my works with the most kudos are images, but if we're talking fics, then I think it's just some of my oldest ones...

That’s Not How It Happened (This Is How It Happened) - Fives arc fix-it and my first fic.

Orbital Decay - Codywan that I haven't edited since I posted it, so I can't vouch for the quality.

Modulation - Another one I haven't touched since I posted it, but it's an 'Echo gets rescued much earlier than in canon and he and Fives reunite' fix-it of sorts.

Will You Walk With Me? - Waxer's pov from the start of the war to the (fix-it) end, and it mostly focuses on his and Boil's friendship (Waxer & Boil or Waxer/Boil pre-relationship - take your pick). Even though this certainly isn't the best thing I've written, it's my baby. 🧡

Interference - Umbara fix-it featuring minor canon characters and some necessary OCs in the first chapter, then more major canon characters later.

More stuff below the cut, since this is a long list...

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably You're Just Harder to See Than Most, which ends very sadly on its own, but it's part of a larger fix-it including Modulation above, so Fives and Echo get reunited.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Pfff like basically all of them, idk XD;

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, just on one sketch dump, where someone went through 6 chapters of spicy cloneshippy images and then decided they needed to complain about it being gross and immoral 🤣 It was hysterical kjlksahfg

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh yes, I'm a certified smut goblin. Not really sure what the question means by 'what kind,' but I guess 'porn with feelings' is probably the AO3 tag that would most accurately describe all of the smut I've written XD

10. Do you write crossovers? Nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! :D

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Hm, I suppose if we're defining that as like, "what ship have you intensely shipped for the longest amount of time," it would be destiel? I was veeeeeery into that ship for many years.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I've had one wip sitting around for over a year, and for a while I was thinking I wasn't going to get back to it ever. But I made a little vibes playlist for it and had some help brainstorming, so I'm hopeful I can start tackling it again after I get some current stuff drafted.

16. What are your writing strengths? Starting something and working on it until it's finished.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I have a lot of trouble generating ideas on my own.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I think it's fine as long as it's either A. very short and clear from context or B. for some reason, the writer is intending to confuse the reader and obfuscate what was said. I know I've said it before, but I'm not gonna scroll to the bottom of a fic every few paragraphs to find the translations for whole phrases or sentences. If the amount of 'other language' starts making the dialogue difficult to follow, I'm just gonna nope out.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Technically, I wrote one thing for Gundam Wing back in like 2000, but I can't even remember what I did with it or what it was about, exactly. Other than that, TCW.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? flsdlfg that's really difficult... idk man, if it's quality we're talking about rather than sentimentality, I'd say it's a toss-up between these three 😅:

My Heart's Red Muscle - Canon-divergent AU where Waxer is a cyborg.

Kinktober 2022 - Character studies/development through smut, where Waxer and Boil find a list of sexy things to try out, so it's kind of meta. It's from my main Open Skies AU, and I'm weirdly proud of this one XD;

We Could Breathe Underwater - Force-sensitive Waxer and Boil AU

Phew! Okay this took me like three sessions to answer, but it was fun :)

No-pressure tags: anyone who sees this and wants to do it, plus @lizardberries @elismor @bilbosmom-belladonna @valkeakuulas @petrifiedforests @marbled-polecat @writegowrite @sophronist @marbled-polecat @ivalane

20 Questions for Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

[tapwrites]

How to Write Dialogue

A lot of a story is told through narration: action, description, exposition, and so on. But a big part of characters interacting tends to be speech. In prose, we call this "dialogue."

The key to what happens in the scene for this is...

People communicate in their own way.

To a new customer entering their store, a gruff character might say "What do you want?" Whereas a more personable character might say "Welcome in! Can I help you?"

Maybe the character would use body language, with a wave as they speak. Or only use body language to communicate in this moment, with a polite nod and smile to the customer with no dialogue.

If they share some knowledge with character they are communicating with, they may speak differently, with an unspoken shared context for their conversation. Compared to speaking to a character who doesn't have that knowledge.

If both characters have the shared context of knowing Frank is coming for tea at 6, it would be odd if one said "Frank is coming for tea at 6." Because the person they are speaking to already knows that. (Unless they have some reason to believe they've forgotten.)

But it would be natural for one to say, "When was he coming, again?" or "I hope he doesn't start smoking like he did last time," without even declaring who they're talking about, or what the situation is. Just the new stuff. Just like people do in real life.

Think about why the character chooses to speak at this time, not before, not waiting until later? What do they want to communicate? How do they want to communicate it, how do they phrase it, what other things go along with it like tone, volume, body language as I mentioned earlier?

And of course, all of those things are affected by the character's personality, their mood and emotions in that moment, their relationship to the people they are communicating with, and the subject they are talking about.

A lot of times all of that just comes naturally from our understanding of the character, and we don't have to think through each of these one at a time. But if you're stuck, making it more of a "process" can help you get rolling.

And now, onto the mechanics of dialogue in the prose itself...

To mark text as being spoken instead of narration, it should start and end with double-quotes, "like this." There are novels that use single-quotes, but this is a rare exception and tends to be more common in older books. But if that's your thing, you do you.

Apparently, the UK flips this and starts with 'single-quotes'. I've lived in the UK all my life, and was taught to use double-quotes. So... I guess your mileage may vary, I don't know what that's all about... 😅

If a line of dialogue ends with a complete sentence, it will normally put the punctuation before the last quote. There are exceptions, and stylistic choices, but that's the general rule for dialogue.

"The sky isn't blue."

You can have quotations within the dialogue, marked with single-quotes. And, in theory, the further down the rabbit hole you go, it switches back and forth between single and double quotes.

So, a quote within dialogue has single-quotes. A quote within a quote within dialogue has single quotes again. And so on...

"And he said to me, 'Go over there and tell them, "Frank said, 'The sky is blue, darn it!'"'"

Yes this does look weird, and yes it can be confusing keeping track of the layers of quotation. Which is why it's very rare, in fiction at least. Instead of making a direct quote, a speaker normally paraphrased, or rewritten in other ways to simplify the structure of the dialogue.

"Frank said to tell you the sky is blue."

If the dialogue ends its own sentence, but the sentence as a whole continues with a dialogue tag, the full-stop/period at the end of the dialogue becomes a comma.

"The sky isn't blue," Geraldine said.

This is because a dialogue tag is actually part of the same sentence.

A dialogue tag is like a luggage tag tied to the end of the dialogue to tell us more about how it was said.

In the example above, there is a dialogue tag to tell us the character who said it: Geraldine.

You could write the dialogue tag in a couple of other ways:

"The sky isn't blue," said Geraldine. Geraldine said, "The sky isn't blue."

But this is uncommon in modern novels, and makes it have a different old-timey vibe that may be confusing or distracting for readers. So bear that in mind if you want to try it out.

Now, if it's part of a longer piece of dialogue, you could leave it to the end of the spoken words to have the dialogue tag as normal. But the reader will be wondering through the whole thing... "Yeah, but who's even saying all this?"

To avoid this, try to have the indication of the speaker sooner rather than later. You can use any of the methods from this article to do so. But one example would be:

"Fourscore and seven years ago," Lincoln said, "our fathers brought forth, on this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal..." (and so on)

For longer text like this, you can actually have paragraphs within the dialogue. The paragraph doesn't end in a quotation mark because the dialogue isn't ending. But then the new paragraph does have a quotation mark to remind the reader it's still dialogue.

"Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. "Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure."

Again, confusing to read, and rarely needed or used in modern fiction. But something to know about. A better way would be to break up the dialogue with some "Blocking"--a stage term for people moving around the scene.

This would be a new paragraph, as it focuses on something else, and then another new paragraph continuing the dialogue. If we focus on a different character with the in-between paragraph, you might want to remind them who is speaking when they continue.

Lincoln stood for a moment, taking in the crowd. Then drew in a breath. "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal." The crowd looked uneasy, a low murmur floating across them. Lincoln shook his head. "Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure."

Going back to dialogue tags... Other verbs can be used instead of "said," to better describe how it was said.

"The sky isn't blue," Geraldine muttered.

There is a general tip that the same word shouldn't be used over and over in quick succession, because it draws attention to itself. But this doesn't apply to all words. Structural words like "a" and "the" shouldn't (and often couldn't) be replaced with a new synonym every time they're used.

This is because they simply fade into the background; the reader knows that they are common words and don't matter to the meaning of the sentence so much. So they just sort of brush over it. "Said" is one such word.

Don't be afraid of "said."

Some writers still try to not use "said" much, and instead use "thesaurus words"--synonyms with the same meaning--throughout their writing. However this actually draws more attention to it that using the simple "said," which people brush over anyway.

Take a look at the following examples:

"The sky isn't blue," Geraldine said. "The sky isn't blue," Geraldine stated. "The sky isn't blue," Geraldine explained.

Is "stated" describing how the line was said better than "said"? Not really. And is "explained" adding anything to the story that isn't from the dialogue? Nope.

If there is a line of dialogue, then it was said/stated/explained/said in reply/asked, depending on what was said and the context. We know what was said. So when a character asks something, the verb "asked" doesn't do anything that reading the question didn't do. So you may as well put "said."

"The sky isn't blue," Geraldine smirked. "The sky isn't blue," Geraldine yawned.

And if you go too far with it, trying to incorporate an action into it, you can get yourself into a real mess. Smirking is not saying anything. You can smirk while saying something. But if the action you are performing is a smirk, or yawn, or laugh... you, my friend, have uttered no words!

These are known as "said-bookisms": words used to avoid writing "said." And named after a book that was written listing such words for writers to use (you may have seen similar posters/graphics on the internet). But as we don't need to avoid writing "said," we can safely throw out the book!

Earlier we used "muttered" instead of "said." Was that okay? Well, did that add to story? Does it tell the reader more about what was said? Yes! Now they know the words weren't simply spoken; they were said quietly, muttered under the breath.

Anything that tells us more about how the dialogue was said is fine. If the character shouted or screamed, or they muttered or mumbled, or slurred... they aren't necessarily obvious from the dialogue. So if they fit, and they describe the utterance of words, then go for it!

Sometimes writers have entire actions as a dialogue tag.

"The sky isn't blue," Geraldine moved over to the window, peering out.

That action isn't describing the act of saying that dialogue. So it doesn't make sense for it to be part of the same sentence. Just split it into its own sentence, and you should be good.

"The sky isn't blue." Geraldine moved over to the window, peering out.

However, these things may be indicated earlier in the paragraph, before the dialogue begins.

Geraldine looked up. "The sky isn't blue."

Because Geraldine has been established as the focus of this paragraph, any dialogue will be assumed to come from Geraldine.

Here, the first sentence describes an action the character took. But it could be a narrated thought. Or an expression. You can indicate the focus of the paragraph in many different ways, but however you do it, that can be used by the reader to infer who the speaker is.

You can of course add a dialogue tag anyway, using the pronoun of the character.

Geraldine looked up. "The sky isn't blue," she said.

The tone of the dialogue--the way it is said by the character--can also be implied by the context in the paragraph up to that point.

Geraldine laughed. "The sky isn't blue." Geraldine gasped. "The sky isn't blue."

Whatever context the reader has before the dialogue will colour how they "hear" it in their minds as they read.

Geraldine whispered, staring up in awe. "The sky isn't blue." Geraldine screamed. "The sky isn't blue!" Geraldine staggered through the door, drunkenly. "The sky isn't blue."

In the last example, the character's general state or attitude is shown. So as you read what she says, you'll naturally imagine it being said differently. That's the beauty of writing...

The final story in the reader's mind is made from the teamwork between writer and reader.

You can actually get away with having no indication of the speaker at all, in particular circumstances.

Geraldine smiled, her nose wrinkling. "The sky isn't blue." "I think you'll find it is, Gerry dear," Frank muttered, packing. "No, no, you don't understand... the sky is not blue!" "Poppycock." "Look!"

Did you have any trouble knowing who was saying what? If not, why not? Because we had other context clues.

The first couple of lines had the speakers clearly declared. And, as they're the only two characters that are in the scene, it's natural that they'd each take turns--going back and forth in their conversation. Also, if this is in the middle of a book and you're used to how the characters talk differently, that can help too.

Just be careful to not rely on this back-and-forth effect for too long, because it will get confusing after a bit. Just pepper in something to remind the reader of whose turn it is--the character does something as they speak, or a simple dialogue tag is added. And the reader will keep up better.

[burning-sol]

Had a talk with someone about traumacore somewhat recently, and it's got me thinking about the weird backlash it got all over again. People seriously approached the subject matter with no nuance, no understanding, no want to understand, and ended up basically just telling traumatised people to go back to hiding where nobody else could see them.

People earnestly would ask, "but why do these artists have to use cute characters? they shouldn't have bad things happen to them," and not see the obvious answer bestowed upon them by they eyes. I wonder why people would be portraying innocent characters, arguably symbols of innocence in themselves, as going through bad, undeserving things. I wonder if there's any context there. At all. I wonder if the artists have any sort of experiences that they obviously blog about that could shed light on this.

"People shouldn't make trauma an aesthetic though," truly being the most mind numbing of takes as if you could, again, not just see what is being blogged and come to understand that despite being trauma'core' this art has no intention to be an aesthetic. "Well why don't they just choose a different name then," <- the words of someone who has no idea how communities or linguistics develop. Sometimes the words and labels that come to be aren't well fitted to what is being represented, but that's just how shit works. For example, I personally don't like a particular ship name in my community, I think it's confusing and ill fit, but am I going to call those people bad because of a name that has come to be integral to the community? No. The community in the time before I was even active came together to make that ship name, and has become attached to it, and it's not my right to say that nobody should use it because it doesn't fit perfectly.

"But what if people are harmed by the art." You can avoid it?? Block the tag. And if someone goes out of their way to trigger themselves by not blocking it and engaging with it, that's none of your business, and you're not at fault for someone else's issues. Mental health is fucked up and it's not your place to speak over other people and say what's good for them when everyone heals and improves in different ways at different rates. You know what's actually harmful? The fact that trauma victims are likely to be victims of trauma again, and there are people on the internet who seek them out KNOWING this. The traumatised people minding their own business and making art to comfort themselves (which can also be comforting for others to see) are not the problem here. Tired of traumatised people being talked over by others who have no clue what its like to live that life, trying to tell them what is or isn't acceptable and what they think they should do to heal. It's NOT your trauma to bear, and it's NOT your trauma to heal.

And leaving my least favourite for last, I've seen people who don't HATE traumacore, but still feel the need to make fun of it (in a not friendly way) because of the artistic choices at play. I do think traumacore can look silly, but so can a lot of art depending on your own sensibilities. Sometimes what people think are well rendered art pieces, I think are too maximalist for me to not giggle at. And I'm allowed to giggle to myself, but would I then go about saying, "how does ANYONE take this seriously???" Ideally not, because that would make me a self centered asshole. Sometimes you have to let yourself sit with art for a while rather than just glancing at it passingly and brushing it off. Look at the art and sit with it, engage with it, earnestly recognise the elements at play and the style and the intentions behind the artwork. Art can exist outside your sensibilities and that does not dimish it in any capacity, that just means it's not for you.

Also, to point out the obvious, so obvious I nearly forgot to make this point, YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ART ABOUT A *VERY* SENSITIVE TOPIC. But let's not forget this art is not only ABOUT trauma as a general subject matter, but also a lot of the art can be tied inextricably to specific incidents the artist has experienced. These aren't just vague pieces of art that say "what if hello kitty was sad and hurt," this is art that can be horrifying recounts of what someone actually experienced. There is someone on the other end who has been hurt, and you're laughing at the work they made to express that. "But what if they aren't trauma victims like you say," I was engaged with the traumacore community for I don't know how many months and I NEVER came across art that wasn't made by someone without trauma. Even people who reposted traumacore were still people who were victims of trauma. These blogs were all run by people, ALL blogs have people behind them, and it's no surprise that every blog I came across was ran by someone who was traumatised.

Traumacore is not a silly trend people want to hop on. People who 'hop on the trend' are usually people who have recognised for the first time that they've been traumatised, because it's quite literally a symptom that trauma victims are unable to recognise or acknowledge their own traumas. And even if people WERE hopping on it as a trend, making fun of them still harms the others who are engaging with the art earnestly. You can't just trash an entire community because there are a couple of bad actors, that's just shitty behaviour.

So yeah, that's my big rant on why people who make traumacore are the coolest and I love them and their art and I think traumacore deserves to exist and be respected. For fucks sake, just think about something for more than two seconds or, idk, actually try to engage with the community and art before you just to conclusions. The answers to your questions are literally right there in the text itself, you just gotta put in the effort to read it and process it.

[anneapocalypse]

Elaborating on my feelings about this post a little, particularly in the context of video of games with high replay value like Dragon Age (which may not have been what the op was talking about at all, but that's what was on my mind when I saw it)!

I definitely think a good game of this type should give you a complete and narratively satisfying experience if you play it through one way and never return to it. (I mean there are also games like Zero Escape where discovering every ending is part of the "complete" experience but that's not the kind of game we're talking about here.) You should be able to play a Dragon Age game once and enjoy it without feeling like you got an incomplete story, just like (in my opinion) you should be able to pick up the game and enjoy it without having seen other canon material that is by definition supplemental. (Whether these particular games succeed at the latter is another discussion for another post).

I love a book that rewards a re-read--Tamsyn Muir's Locked Tomb series really does this for me and I'm looking forward to re-reading them again before Alecto comes out, and I went back and checked and the OP even tagged Locked Tomb on that post which doesn't surprise me one bit. Because it's true! Going back and reading Gideon after you've read Harrow and understand more about both characters and know more about the world and have starting to pick up on the hints about the true nature of certain characters... it's a thrill! Not because the story was incomplete the first time or incomprehensible, but because now you have the additional context to see all the breadcrumbs the author was dropping in a new light and it's just so, so rewarding and so much fun.

And I also love games that give me high replay value not just because they're fun to play (and let's be real I am not starting my ninth run of DAO because I'm obsessed with the combat mechanics) but because every time I get to experience a slightly different story and see the world and the characters from different angles. There is so much more to experience that way than you can possibly get on one playthrough. (And that's good in this type of game! We want our choices to change the story.) In DA2 there are sides of characters you won't see if you've only taken the friendship route and never rivaled them. I've written before about the templar ending of DA2 and how it reveals things that the mage ending doesn't and yeah, it's a "bad" ending and not everyone wants to play it but it's still another story that has things to tell us about the world. (And I'd venture to say that sometimes, we don't necessarily realize we are talking from the basis of experiencing slightly different stories.)

I don't think a story should set out to confuse its audience (in general--there are instances where intentional misdirection serves a narrative purpose but that's a digression here) but I also enjoy the experience of playing a new game unspoiled and without walkthroughs the first time and letting the chips fall where they may, and maybe getting a "bad" outcome because I didn't fully get what a quest was about, because you only really get one shot at the Chaotic First Playthrough. Being confused because you're in a funhouse labyrinth but it's definitely leading you somewhere is different than being confused because the story doesn't make sense, you know? And that first playthrough isn't an incomplete story, it's just one of many different ways you can experience the game. There will be plenty of time after that to replay with more knowledge and build the perfect world state, or make it Worse, or just choose something different.

So yeah, a story should work on that first level, that single read or playthrough, in order to be successful, but my favorite ones are the ones that do give me a reason to come back, and either offer me a new experience or deepen the one I had before.

[amorficzna]

user experience research in (large) games

Ok I saw user testing catching strays in the tags of another post so I figured, since I've worked as a user experience researcher in larger game studios that I'd give a bit more context on what we actually do - since we seem to catch strays both from random people and from the studios themselves.

1. UXR does not inherently change ideas or parts of a game.

That is not our job. We're not designers! There is, in fact, huge debate about whether UXR should be giving designers any suggestions at all because we're not as close to the project as they are. But I've found it really comes down to the UXR's familiarity with the project as well as their relationship with the development team on if they will take or want suggestions to begin with. Many times, we're showing off results to them where players are finding snags in their play experience, and it's really up to them to find better solutions for how to make the experience smoother.

Additionally, UXR is a mediator between the game development team and players. It's important to capture player experience and insights, but it is also very important to stay in line with the game's vision. You have a weird and fucked up game? UXR is not meant to bring any feedback about how the game is too weird or fucked up to the game team. Because that aligns with the game's visions and goals.

2. UXR is there to make niche parts of the game approachable to all players.

Everyone always talks about making more gritty, edgy, or weird games. Which I 100% agree with. But the rub comes from if players can even access these parts of your game at all. Then you get a bunch of questions. Why can't players use this ability? Is it because it's not useful? Is it because they don't know they have it? Is it because they know they have it but they don't know when they can use or how to use it?

These are generally the kind of questions we're asking players as they work through a game. Without a lot of this work, a lot of this would go under the radar because, unsurprisingly, when you work on a game for a long time, you tend to forget that new players may not know to press U in order to access their character ability sheet, which may also not be properly explained in the tutorial, which may lead to them never being able to access it.

This is especially important for accessibility. Great, you chose a brand new random control scheme. Can you change that control scheme? If you can, can you adapt it enough to be accessible for all players that may need aids to play videogames? If yes, can they access the control options easily to even get to them in the first place?

3. UXR is not there to gather the opinions of players.

At least in my experience (and I'm talking about big studios here) UXR is not, in fact, there to capture the opinions of players and make sure characters are more likeable, etc. We can do that kind of research if the team specifically asks it of us, but generally, if it is not literally breaking the player's experience when they work through the game, it is not important enough for us to bring to the team because they have enough other shit to deal with.

If you're seeing that kind of reaction from collected data, either UXR is not filtering the results and thus production or leadership is looking at it going "yeah ok let's change that" putting the work on the developers/teams, or its from the consumer insights side of things who is looking at general user trends, user reactions, market reactions, etc.

So yes, while we look at trends in data, a lot of the time I was tasked to ask questions like "what was confusing for you" and then I would aggregate that to see where players were struggling with understanding a game.

If there are specific attributes of a game being tested, such as a new champion in Apex for example, then you'd probably want players experienced with the game coming in and testing it to make sure it 'feels right' and balanced, and that they especially don't have issues with it to make sure players can actually play around with all the cool, new, weird, fun stuff you wanted to put in the game in the first place.

There are other parts of UXR like expert reviews (ask me why I don't like them and think they're not useful!) but that's a whole nother pack of worms.

Anyway, that's a little rundown of how UXR can help with games. There's so many issues with it and politics within the industry - for example, if a UXR does a study and finds that players are really not having a good time with a game set to release soon, the development team is going to have consequences. So how high up can those results go? Additionally, if a study finds that players are doing well with a game, and it releases and it bombs, that leads to a whole other mess of shit. Which is why I hate strategic work tbh - it becomes so corporatized and more about future sales output and less about the game itself.

However, that is a cog in a much larger machine of issues within the games industry. And UXR itself is trying to get our work down to make games accessible to all.

[androdragynous]

Context of the bits I'm talking about for those who aren't familiar with the source materials (because I've gotten tags of people being confused about what I'm talking about or implying I am phrasing things badly)

It's long because I mentioned a lot of games so I'm putting it under a break.

Stardew Valley

Penny is one of the romance-able bachelorettes of the game, and one of her heart event scenes is her pushing George, an elderly man who uses a wheelchair, out of the way to "help" him get something out of his mailbox. She does not ask before doing this, and George gets angry at her for intruding. The game presents you with three dialogue options:

to side with her, telling her she was doing "a kind thing" which increases her friendship level with you

to side with George, telling her she should have asked if he wanted help, which decreases her friendship level with you

to remain neutral, telling her you're minding your own business, which does not change the friendship level.

George's friendship level is not affected by any of the options, and regardless of which one you select, he apologies to her for being angry and tells her it was kind of her to help. After he leaves, Penny talks to you, sympathizing with George for getting older. One of the options the player can reply with, in a discussion about needing a wheelchair as an elderly person, is "I'd rather die young."

Sources / Verification:

Stardew Valley Wiki - Penny > Heart Events

Penny ALL HEART EVENTS - JNEY [O:09] (intro has shaky / glitchy text, timestamp of link should skip it)

Mass Effect

Following the opening events of Mass Effect 2, Shepard - the player character - goes through a reconstructive surgery performed by the human-supremacy group Cerberus. This surgery leaves them with dramatic cybernetics scars all over their body.

Over the course of the game, conversation options can be weighted with Morality Points; Paragon options are generally considered to be the "nice" options, presenting a character who is polite, patient, or otherwise understanding (or is lawful, which isn't necessarily a positive trait). Renegade options are generally considered to be the "mean" options, often being rude, blunt, angry, or aggressive. These points change how Shepard interacts with the world and the characters in it.

In Mass Effect 2, the visibility of the cybernetics scarring is directly related to these points. As a message in the game informs you, choosing Paragon options reduces the scarring, while choosing Renegade options increases it dramatically. There is also an option provided for your Shepard to pay to have the scars removed. The game also has dialog reference how Shepard's scars detract from their looks in (what I think is) the Citadel DLC.

Sources / Verification:

Crew comments on Renegade Shepard's Scars - WildCardHoney

Paragon (fShep) compared to Renegade (mSgep) scarring - sorry, it's difficult to find a good comparison that I can be sure isn't modded.

Vampire The Masquerade (TTRPG)

VtM focuses on secret underground societies of vampires in a usually city-based setting. Players can select the types of vampires they play, but the game is intended to be gritty and brutal with how it approaches being a creature that preys on humans to survive.

One of the player classes is the Nosferatu: vampires whose transformation is incredibly painful and creates "grotesque abominations". This transformation results in "deformities similar to terrible birth defects, cancer growths, crippling injuries and leper-like sores". One of the mechanical drawbacks to this class is that their appearance makes them "Repulsive", an effect which detracts from their "Looks" stat and makes it difficult to impossible to pass as human.

In the illustrations given by the book for character appearances, the designs feature canes and leg braces as examples of these "monstrous echoes".

Sources / Verification:

Dark Souls

Dark Souls is a third-person RPG that is structured around combat, rewarding pattern recognition, reaction times and player dexterity in battles against enemies much stronger than the player. It, and other games in the Soulsborne genre, are praised heavily for their perceived difficulty barriers and required skill to complete. The inherent barriers to disabled players who cannot rely on visual or auditory attack cues, or who are physically unable to react or press keys in the narrow time windows attacks provide, have been discussed for as long as the genre has been established.

I've debated this one before and I'm not doing it countless more times. Putting players in offline mode with a god mode / invincibility option or a slider for percentage of damage taken is doable. It literally doesn't matter if an able bodied player uses these options to win a fight they're struggling with because literally who gives that much of a shit about how someone else enjoys a game.

Sources / Verification:

Unsure how to source for "the games are fast paced and punishing and lack built-in accessibility features".

The Sims

Yes, really, they don't have wheelchairs. They also don't have crutches, or canes, or prosthetics, or missing limbs, and so on. As of earlier this year, 2023, they have added cosmetic versions of hearing aids and glucose monitors.

Any claim that it is coding issues is misinformed, as the game includes various animals and mythical creatures and the coding is already broken. Additionally, canes were available for Elder sims in The Sims 3: Generations, but were not made available for all ages, and are absent from the current version of the game, The Sims 4.

Sources / Verification:

The Sims Fandom Wiki - Walking Cane (Sims 3)

Polygon - The Sims 4’s new patch adds hearing aids, binders, and more inclusive options

Ace Attorney

This one is pretty self explanatory. The games have a lot of white-screen flashing effects, shaking effects, sudden pop-up text, and so on; standard cosmetic effects that should be able to be turned on and off. While some games ( Dai Gyakuten Saiban / The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles ) have the ability to disable the white flashing, it is not an option across the full franchise.

Sources / Verification:

Any playthrough or game clip will show it; I don't feel a more detailed source is necessary to prove flashing effects exist in the games.

as my own direct immediate list of game grievances i hate that stardew valley expects you to side against a wheelchair user who is upset that he was moved without his consent. i hate that the mass effect trilogy gives you visible scarring as a direct result of choosing mean dialogue and heals it if you're nice. i hate that the vampire the masquerade ttrpg has a monstrous player class that can appear as horrible vampiric monsters or as visibly disabled people and both of these appearances are mechanically the same. i hate that dark souls games have a difficulty level implemented in a way that cannot be adjusted for disability. i hate that i can play as a mermaid or a werewolf or a horse in the sims games but can't use a wheelchair. i hate that the ace attorney games have so much flashing and not all of the games can disable it. i hate that disability is constantly something that happens to teach a lesson, i hate that disability is something that happens as a punishment, i hate that disability is either compensated perfectly with no drawbacks or something that is endlessly sought to be cured. i hate that no character customization will ever include the mobility aids i use, that the player avatars that represent me will never look like me. i am so goddamn annoyed and so goddamn tired.

[winter-spark]

Reposting a Reblog as a Separate Post #2

[I might be less lazy with editing this one or I won't. If I was lazy but edited it I'll just cross off things lol, If I wasn't lazy and added edits it'll be in brackets, if I don't edit something that should be edited 🤷🏾‍♀️ have fun. Also this is still a copy and paste just so you know.]

[Related posts for 'context': initial thought, sketches I did]

So you're probably thinking "Gee Spark you're gonna talk to yourseldf some more about some no one asked about" to which I say:

I will answer your inqury on what I was going for for their clothes! At least as to what I was trying to inspire their outfits off of.

So first up the Orange's outfit 'moodboard':

There's one more outfit I want in consideration for this but I'll explain in it a second. So! I really think Orange might like to wear the sort of jacket thing Yuki's got on there, and while I opted out of the choker for him I do think he'd wear multiple necklaces. As for Citron's outfit there, I like the belt.

Also, those large gold bracelets seem to be mandatory and possibly a while jumpsuit of sorts. The owl earrings I legit just found right now(or well last night because I did fall asleep writing lol) to give an idea of what his earring might look like when I finalize it and pick out an Owl for it. I'm not sure if he always had an Owl earring or not but if he didn't that's fine because then it could be his little piece of abroad that he keeps with him, but if he did that's also fine because it's a sliver of his interests and personality shining through.

There was one more outfit I wanted here but oh well you don't need an image. It was the one with flowers on it. I think if Orange is allowed to wear some with more designs than what we've seen Citron and Tangerine in, it'd have flowers on it. Why? Well after all he's a nature boy. I know because they[/the company] telepathically told me when I was trying to draw him.

[Editing in this new version of the post here, too lazy to cross out and adjust last paragraph but I did think I should update this part: I didn't want to include the picture initially because I'm not tagging these character and I know one of my moots doesn't vibe with the character in this outfit so I hope croping his face out helps in case they see this. Here's the picture.

I don't think either sketch includes the scarf but I think I did consider it a lot when I was initially sketching them]

Okay so next up Navel's outfit "moodboard":

So here we go. I like the collar on Sakyo's outfit. Then I think Navel would have a visible choker like Citron does(tho tbh in my head it looks more like Yuki's but to avoid confusion I didn't put Yuki in this set.) There's the flowy part of the outfit & I'm leaning towards how Sakuya's is but Idk for sure, I kinda also really like the whole shoulder section of Sakyo's outfit so Idunno. He probably definitely has the stars though like Sakuya does. (As you can see I'm less sure on this outfit lol.)

[edit/Update: If you saw the other pictures I had here no you didn't:

THIS. Like like when I had the pic with Tangerine's outfit from this event I was confused why I picked it but I liked the energy like the soft poofiness of it and I sorta want a similar vibe, this sorta has that same vibe. BUT also like the collar!!! I want Navel to have a collar somewhat like this so that his choker that he definitely has is visible!]

Anyway, longer hair seems to be a trend for the royal family and Citron only sometimes wears a ponytail. SO why not let Navel have a ponytail? I think that Navel would try to differentiate himself from Orange in some ways since they're always together and so close in age(confirmed in my heart) and so a ponytail is a good start and easy to do.

I know that these ponytail cuff things exist. While looking up pictures for these, I learned that a lot of them have elastics in them? I didn't know they did? But regardless, I think that Navel should have one. Maybe without the elastic like the rhinestone one, but be bigger and more solid like the second one. It for suresies should have a star design on it. He loves the stars, fact.

So yea that's what I have. Just struggling to articulate it. Thanks for reading this.

Anyway. Yea. I know I'm kinda like the only one here but like if anyone wants to help with these outfits or has any additions or anything feel free to add on.

[animedaddymilkers]

💍husband "prank"💍

summary: referring to them as your husband even though you're still dating.

characters: katsuki bakugo, eijiorou kirishima, shoto todoroki, izuku midoriya, dabi, GN!reader

tags: pro hero!au, fluff, domestic prank, marriage talk, hospital talk(for izuku🙄)

💖reblogs > likes💖

bakugo: "I'll have the chicken fingers with the side of fries, yeah, and the honey mustard please," you paused as the employee on the other end of the phone repeated your order before asking if there was anything else. "Uh, yeah, my husband will have the shrimp alfredo, with an extra side of bread sticks." You finished giving the order, oblivious to the confused look Katsuki was giving you. When you looked over at him you just raised an eyebrow, "what's up?" He nearly scoffed, half offended, "what's up? what's up? how long have you been calling me your husband?" he looked like he was practically pouting as he waited for your answer. "I guess a couple months now..." Katsuki huffed, cheeks tinted pink, "does that mean I can call you my [wife/husband/life partner]?" now it was your turn to look at him blankly before you shut your mouth and nodded, "Y-Yeah! I'd like that..."

kirishima: it was just supposed to be a simple trip to the grocery store in your hometown, but of course, nothing is ever that simple. Not even five minutes into the store and someone from high school stopped to 'chat'. The person you barely talked to all those years ago suddenly wanted to do nothing but talk with you. "Oh, yeah, this is my husband, Eijiorou!" you cheerily introduced Eijiorou who looked at you shocked before smiling at your old classmate. As you were walking away to continue shopping he leaned a bit closer to you and excitedly asked you, "Husband? Really? Would you really marry me???" his eyes twinkled when you laughed and told him "yes, i would marry you." the rest of the shopping trip was filled with Eijiorou asking you questions about the potential wedding, head off in dreamland as you inspected the apples. "Big or small? What color theme? Roses or lilies? Church or beach?"

todoroki: Shoto was innocently playing on your phone while you were in the shower, all with your permission of course, when you received a text message. "(Y/N), (Friend) just texted you!" he called out to you from the bedroom. "Oh, just go ahead and answer it for me!" Shoto nodded and opened your messages app. He read through the conversation to gain enough context, seeing you responded to your friend >Can't hang today, spending it with the husband!<, explaining their most recent text of >Awh, you two are so cute! How about tomorrow?< Shoto paused, rereading your text over a couple times, his cheeks blushing as he read you referring to him as your husband. After a minute of internally screaming he realized he still needed to respond for you. >Tomorrow the husband has something big planned for us, how about next week? I'll have something to show you then.< After he sent it he smiled to himself, knowing if you read it you'd be slightly confused. But the small black box Shoto kept in his shirt drawer would explain it all tomorrow.

midoriya: izuku groaned as he came out of the anesthesia, the commotion outside of the door breaking him from his rest. "that's my husband in there, you have to let me see him!" your voice was desperate and rushed as you talked to whoever was keeping you from entering. Whoever it was must have relented because soon after the door burst open with the sight of you rushing over to his bed. "darling! Are you alright? Well, clearly you're not alright, heavens, look at you..." Izuku smiled weakly at you as the nurse trailed in behind. "Please make sure not to stress him out. And only ten minutes." You scoffed and looked over your shoulder to them, "I won't stress him out and that's up to my husband, not you!" Izuku tilted his head slightly, wondering who your husband was. His slower thought process then came to the realization that it was him and then he spent ten minutes wondering when he proposed to you and another twenty trying to remember your wedding anniversary.

dabi: "Oh please, my husband could kick your ass with his eyes closed, now get lost you pervert." Dabi overheard you sass some man in the bar as he returned with your drinks. Mildly confused at the way his chest tightened when he heard you talk about him. And the whole husband title...shit, maybe it affected him more than he wanted it to. Regardless, his chest puffed out, more than willing to play that role of protective husband for you. "We got a problem here, dearest?" he questioned lowly, eyes locked with the man who was bothering you, Dabi relishing in the fear that flickered through the man's eyes. Maybe he could get used to that husband title after all...

[dreamytfw]

I'm going to go through this in chunks that start with quotes because that's kind of the only way I'm able to keep focus and organize my thoughts. My intention is not to do the thing bad faith people online tend to do of taking a quote and then responding to it as out of context as possible. I feel like I need to make this disclaimer because I think people see that formatting as, like, inherently antagonistic and I am NOT trying to do that. My poor unmedicated ADHD brain is just fighting for its life out here lol Also cut because it's long. Sorry about that 😅

the key point is that fanfic is written for fun. For the vast majority of us it is a hobby, not necessarily something we want to improve on.

No one is saying fanfic isn't written for fun, and tbh it always confuses me whenever someone brings this up. Isn't improving your craft part of the fun? Why wouldn't you want to get better at the thing you enjoy? Especially since getting better opens up new avenues of expression and experimentation.

Also you can improve through practice and reading other people’s writing.

Right, but those are only two tools in an artist's arsenal. Critique is another, very essential, one. Like, in visual art, looking at others' works and practicing what you know can only get you so far. You need critique to know what works, what doesn't, where you can improve, what techniques or colors to experiment with, etc. (I just finished rewatching Blue Period btw, so this probably isn't going to be the only time I draw parallels to art or painting lol) If we put it in writing terms, getting critique on your work can tell you what is and isn't working about it, and from there you can gather not only where you can improve, but how you can improve.

So, for an example: when I was about 14 I started writing my 2nd or 3rd multi-chapter Phantom of the Opera fic, and I wanted to do something different than what I normally saw on the forum I hung out on. So I started a new fic and made Erik the villain. And I got feedback that I was writing him VERY ooc. None of it was abusive or bullying, no one made it personal, it was just simply critique on how I was writing this pre-established character in my opening chapter. From there I was able to course-correct and write him more in line with how he's normally characterized while still keeping him antagonistic. And it taught me to pay attention to characterization and how what I tried was the wrong way to go about trying to subvert audience expectations. I wouldn't have gotten that from just re-reading the source material, reading theory, and practicing.

Like as a writer if I want critique on my writing I will go to professionals. Some rando on the internet who I don’t know has credentials or not .

This just full stop doesn't make any sense to me. No one needs credentials to have a reaction to art. And since when is fan fiction, writing or reacting, about having credentials? Why is it anyone can write and publish work, but only "professionals" can have a reaction that isn't unalloyed praise? And who qualifies as a "professional" anyway? Professional editors? Published authors? Literary critics? Fellow fan fic writers? Writing professors? More importantly, how do you know the person saying something like "I see what you're trying to do but I don't think it's working" isn't a "professional?" For all you know, they could be.

And I don’t think people are conflating any critique with bullying or being negative. I think that’s a conflation you are making.

No, it's really not. idk if you read my previous tags or not, but someone legit called me abusive and entitled for voicing my stance of "critique is good and necessary for creatives." (providing specific receipts for this one because I'm kind of paranoid about people not believing me due to personal reasons 🙃)

I've also seen people compare receiving MILD critique (like, literally it was couched in SO many no hates and praise) to noncon, assault, an attack, bullying, and a targeted harassment campaign (yes, from ONE comment). I think I might have seen it referred to as slander or something to that effect a few times, but I couldn't be certain. I've seen people assume those who leave mild critique are abusers IRL, called misogynistic and/or ableist slurs, have targeted harassment campaigns levied against them, get ostracized from the wider fandom, and get sent death threats and suibait. I'm not assuming these things are happening, I've seen them. Hell, I've been on the receiving end of it, and I only defend people leaving critique. There VERY much is a problem in fan fic spaces of over-stating harm when it comes to this subject.

Fanfic is work that we get to read for free that is made for pure enjoyment

So are a lot of YouTube videos, particularly in the video essay sphere. So is A LOT of visual art. So is indie music like in the vocal synth community. So are a lot of podcasts. No one in those spaces is making this argument of "only say nice things about my work because I made it for free." There's also a BUNCH of writing we read that is deemed okay to critique anyway. It also needs to be pointed out that a staggering amount of professional writing is done just for exposure, and I'm not talking about non-fiction pieces like articles. Now I think those artists should be paid for their labor, but if I really got into that point we'd be here all day/night/whatever time it is for you.

Therefore I don’t think you’re owed anything from the author.

No one said anything about the audience being owed things by the author and I'm honestly not sure where this point is even coming from.

I grew up in fandom in the era of don’t like don’t read.

Don't like, don't read comes from the same era as "if you post something online, don't expect nothing but praise." These two ideas aren't mutually exclusive. And it should be pointed out: critiquing something or critically analyzing it does not necessarily mean that person doesn't like it. There's plenty of media out there that people will critique to the ends of the earth and back solely BECAUSE they love it. Case in point: I run a Supernatural blog lmao.

Sorry you’re encountered a bunch of “drama llamas” but I don’t think that’s the issue being discussed here.

I disagree. It is, at the very least, an element of what is being discussed. Because there are writers out there who do, have, and will weaponize this idea of "all critique is bad critique." And no matter how many times people like me go "maybe we shouldn't gatekeep what reactions people can and can't have about art" or neurodivergent people pointing out that the "rules" around this topic have led to other them being bullied because they didn't do the socially correct thing, almost everyone says "no, that's not what we're talking about/that doesn't ACTUALLY happen/why do you want to ruin peoples' fun" and it gets swept under the rug. And it allows for a much more insidious type of toxic/abusive person to hide in communities. It's VERY easy to report and block someone who's being verbally abusive to you and delete their harmful comments. It's much more difficult to point out someone is using this mentality to manipulate people into bullying others for them, especially since no one wants to believe that someone who created a piece of art that meant a lot to them can be an abusive, toxic person.

The issue being discussed is being open to critique and who is even actually qualified to give it.

Did they consume the piece of media? Then they're qualified. I'm aware my anarchism might be showing here, but I don't think there should be rules about who does and doesn't get to voice their reactions to the art they consume.

Feedback is a skill, even experts can give bad criticism.

Earlier you said you'd go to a professional to get critique, implying professionals/experts are inherently qualified to give critique because they're good at it. But here you're saying that even experts can give bad criticism, implying experts/professionals AREN'T always inherently qualified to give critique. So which is it? And does a bad criticism or critique (by whichever metric that goes by) nullify someone's expertise/professionalism in the field. Does it disqualify them from giving further critique.

I am acutely aware I'm being very annoying - I'm sure Meletus is going to accuse me of impiety and corrupting the Athenian youth any day now - but these are the implications that need to be explored in this argument of "only some people can give critique and who those people are is vaguely defined."

I suggest you read through the tags and comments and see the discussion going on, it’s productive and bringing up a lot of good points.

I have, and tbh they're all the same arguments you're making or that I've encountered before.

No hate to this person

And I have to say, it's VERY frustrating to me that you need to put this. You shouldn't have to. Just because we're disagreeing over the philosophy of criticism in fan fiction spaces doesn't mean we're, like, mortal enemies, and no one should take it like that. But tbh this topic is SO emotionally charged because people wrap things like their ego (/neutral) and personal trauma into things like receiving feedback. And since hurt people hurt people, there are people who have trauma specifically around this conversation from those bad faith actors and toxic people I've mentioned (like, low-key, I'm going to go pop a panic med after posting this because of those trauma reasons. And to be as clear as I can, that is FULLY on the people who were abusive towards me over this topic, not you AT ALL). And I hate the idea that anyone would take that emotionality and use it as justification to belittle, abuse, or harass me, you, or anyone else that might have a different outlook than them. We should be able to have a conversation like adults without anyone jumping to the role of white knight.

Saw this comment on a booktok YouTube video and I'm wondering what y'all think. I take issue with the idea that if you do want criticism on your writing then you shouldn't post it online. Not everyone writes, especially fanfic, to improve. "Most of these fic authors want to be published authors" no I don't think they do actually, writing fanfic can be about improving your skills to become a professional author; but it can also be about engaging in community or IDK putting your fav characters into situations???

"I get these fic writers are writing for free" yes, so you're not entitled to anything from them... if you can't read fanfic without wanting to give criticism then you either aren't reading fics that are right for you or you shouldn't be reading at all.

[elytrafemme]

do you have any tips an improving writing skills/learning writing techniques?

i do actually! :D

i will preface by saying though that i am by no means an experienced writer and i am still trying to learn so much writing stuff so this is just stuff that has helped me personally ^_^ also this is very disorganized sorry my brain is a bit foggy today

(1) READ! genuinely the best way to learn how to improve writing skills is to read things! i don't recommend going hyper-analytical on what writers do good and bad (i settled into that habit accidentally and am trying to wean myself off of it), but as you read things you will generally observe really good points in the piece, like if the writer is good at worldbuilding or something! so if there's a skill you're trying to work on, or if you're just aiming to improve in general, reading is really really important to learning stuff. readings also just very good :] sorry i can elaborate more on this if you want i feel like i'm getting repetitive but yeah!

(2) FREE ASSOCIATION WRITING! in my experience this helps a lot with A. perfectionism and B. writer's block. basically, set a timer (5-15 minutes is usually what i've done) and get yourself a prompt that you like, or if you prefer just go promptless, and write down a bunch of stuff. the idea is not to go back and try to routinely edit, just to get stuff out-- yes, it is going to be half coherent and it might kill you a bit in hindsight, but i've been able to pull out some really great lines out of messes in scribbles and it helps get the brain going!

(3) EXPERIMENT! me and my partner both sort of 'specialize' in different kinds of writing (for me it's poetry, for her it's prose), but both of us have kind of experimented with the other style. sometimes it sticks and sometimes it doesn't but one thing i think we've both found is that being able to play around with different formats and types of storytelling can help you see the benefits and drawbacks of everything. for example, poetry is really good with figuring out the way that words sound & sensory detailing, but prose helps a lot with setting up characters and contexts.

(4) DRAW FROM REAL LIFE! this is kind of dicey because a lot of times in writing, you don't want to project entirely onto the character-- that's not a rule of thumb or anything, do whatever the fuck you want-- just because it's good to try and bridge the gap between your experiences and theirs, and kind of combine them. BUT i do think it's really good to look into your own experiences and observations to guide your writing!

(5) GIVE YOUR READERS ANCHORS! this is a bit out of the norm with the others, but essentially, the idea here is that if you're writing something, as you go back and read it, you want to make sure to A. read it out loud so it sounds natural and B. make sure that it's easy to follow along. balancing dialogue with introspection with description etc. is a fucking tricky thing and it's not a standard balance for everyone at ALL, some writers naturally do more dialogue and some naturally do more description and both are fantastic! the idea here is less about trying to fit this strict norm, and more that you make sure that were a reader to, say, go through some thick paragraphs of introspection, they have 'hooks' or 'anchors' within them that draw them back to the present of the fic. same with dialogue tags, making sure readers can tell what is still going on and doesn't get confused with characters. this mostly just helps tense and comprehension but i do think it's a good skill to have :]

this is very rambly and long im srry but FINAL THING TO REMEMBER

(6) WRITE WHATEVER THE FUCK U WANT! i have complicated thoughts on the idea of a good vs a bad writer but those thoughts can overall be summed up as: it's kind of not important just do what u want. if these tips dont help then dont use them! and these arent a guide to be the bestest writer ever also. im just kinda throwing stuff out there that's helped me improve my writing skills so may help u. but like if u dont like this then by all means throw it out the window u have no idea how many bits of writing advice ihave been given that i realized did NOT help me even if they helped others yknow? so yeah!

much love <3

[misterbitches]

i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)