#if you want a reason why I've been less active thats why

[zorialdiamond-blog]

Between FF14 and FF16, Squeenix's Creative Business Unit 3 really has my imagination in a visegrip this year. Not that I'm complaining, it's good stuff!

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

Hey I've been wanting to ask you for a while a request I've had. Can I have some headcanons of the mercenary's realizing their feelings for the 10th merc after they brutally bash in a enemy's skull in for trying to kill said merc. And then the 10th merc looks at them with extreme concern while checking up on them. Before turning around and killing another enemy that was about to kill them.

I would love to see the mercenary's reaction to being saved by their crush and having to deal with the horny panic of finding them attractive.

If you dont want to do this that's fine. Thanks again for making really good tf2 x reader content! I love it! Byebye have a good day/night.

The Mercs realizing they have feelings for Y/N after watching them brutally kill an enemy (NSFW)

WARNING: severe amounts of simping

Scout:

- Oh. Oh.. OH. OHH NOOO! OUR SCOUUTTT. HE’S BROKKEEENNN

- You look so dazzling with the blood on your clothes and the rockets whizzing past you. The explosions in the background creating a fine backdrop. Cue the cheesy romantic 40s music as you kill people in slow motion and Scout is in awe.

- You’re confused. He had been standing there even after you had successfully cleared the point. You wave your hand in front of his face and he doesn’t react.

- In his head he’s already having romantic fantasies of frolicking with you on the beach and bashing in people’s heads. The idea of you beating the shit out of him particularly makes him feel a certain way. He has no idea why. Oh god, is this normal? Wait.. Why is he already having thoughts of marrying you and growing old together?

- Immediately goes whining to Spy like a little pussy about you. He’s batshit scared of you but also has the most confusing boner. Good job. You sent him crying after his daddy. You hear a “SPYYYYYYYYYYYeeeEEEE!” as you leave the battlefield. Followed by a groan from said frenchman.

———————————————————————-

Soldier:

“NOW HANG ON PRIVATE THATS NOT EXACTLY— Oh.. Ah..” Soldier hisses through his teeth and puts his fist to his mouth, his helmet falls back a bit from the impact you made of kicking an enemy demoman’s sticky bomb back to him. You can see his expression is incredibly conflicted about this. With mild arousal. Holy shit. Somebody as batshit crazy as him. Who the hell kicks an active explosive?

- Because on one hand, you’re impractical yet affective at what you do. Just like him. But on the other hand that’s HIS THING. NOT YOURS! He’s one to act incredibly erratic on many occasions when strategy is in the back of his head awaiting the stupidly fast yet eons long conveyor belt.

- Becomes incredibly infatuated by you on the spot. Creating a sort of vague idea in his head on what you could be like. Cue very vivid fantasies of you and him strangling a sumo wrestler while naked, claiming france as an American owned country for some reason by sticking the flag into the tip of the Eiffel tower while naked, and having a fine American breakfast on the deck of your cottage.. (while naked.)

- “Is that a pistol in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” You ask him afterwards. “NEGATIVE. THAT’S A ROCKET. I ran out of room.” He lies. You believe him because that sounds like something he’d do.

———————————————————————-

Demoman:

- You destroy a sentry nest he was trying to demolish around a choke point. He’s both offended, and slightly attracted. You’ve destroyed his pride and humbled him. Normally Demoman is the only one who can take down a sentry nest unless Medic has full charge on somebody — among other things.

- He opens his mouth to protest but you silence him with an award winning smile that makes his heart flutter. As you run past him to head over to Medic and regain your strength, he’s scratching his stubble. Trying to comprehend the slurry of feelings. Demoman is an adult and he’s old enough to be fully aware that you can feel multiple emotions at once; that doesn’t make him any less disoriented though.

- “Ay.. finally somebody who’s on my level!” he calls after you. Promising he’ll outrank you next round. His competitive nature demands it. He’s trying so hard to ignore his boner right now. Assuming it to be just from adrenaline.

- Well, you’re tied. You’re both equal amounts on the next scoreboard. He stares at it on the intel computer terminals in disbelief. He immediately downs a shit load of his scrumpy. Holy shit. He has a massive crush on you now. Begins to wonder how drunk he can get before he forgets about this.

———————————————————————-

Engineer:

- You distract him so much he doesn’t even realize the jammed shell in his shotgun at first. You’ve made him lose like half of his life experience in a fraction of a second and he tries to take out the jammed shell and ends up burning himself. “God. DANGIT.”

- inwardly embarrassed and trying to make it seem like all was normal; he slaps the back of the gun so the shell falls out. Continues trying to defend the points… emphasis on tries. You’re his type AND you’re blood thirsty. He can’t help but feel slightly intrigued. The sparks of what would eventually be a crush once he starts talking to you more.

- He can’t bring himself to think filthy thoughts of someone he just met, he wasn’t raised like that. Occasionally the thought crosses his mind and he becomes a little angry with himself. Please stop being sexy in front of somebody who was raised in the bible belt. PLEASE! he would beg you if it didn’t sound so weird out of context.

- Fuck it. Christian shame doesn’t beat nature. He has to jerk off to the thought of you after battles in the shower. You’ve fucked him up.

—————————————————————————

Heavy:

- “Heavy, i’m fully charged. Focus on the soldiers in the front and tell me when to— Was zur Hölle?!” Medic complains, looking away from Heavy’s WAY too apparent hard on.

- Heavy would make a great ice sculpture right now. He’s both sweating and frozen in place as he watches you tear the enemy lines to shreds. He rarely feels this way for anybody at all. Heavy was certain his libido evened out as he got older but you just brought him back to square one. He felt like a horny teenager again.

- He wants to lick the blood off your neck so bad. It’s disgraceful. He feels like a disgusting sewage pipe and suddenly wishes the respawn machine didn’t exist so he could permanently die out here just to forget this even happened.

- Eventually waves his hand for Medic to pocket someone else. Goes over and helps you kick some ass. You indirectly both bond from this and successfully kickstart your connection.

———————————————————————-

Pyro:

- You’re the same as them in their point of view. A ‘misunderstood’ killer (Yeah, okay..) who wanted nothing more than peace of mind while they went about their daily business!

- The enjoy he sees in your eyes as you land a hit is marvelous. Every single swing of your melee felt like some sort of complex ballet. There was birds and neon colors following you wherever you went. You’ve now given them a weird fetish for adept mercenaries they had no idea they even had. They want to meet you RIGHT NOW.

- air blasts a poor demoman off a cliff you were fighting. “Hey. It’s alright. I got this.” You tell them. Pyro just tilts their head. You walk on to cap the cart and Pyro follows closely behind you. “What’s up?” You finally ask him, out of curiosity. Pyro just stares. You begin to recall horror stories that the other mercs told you of Pyro.

- They continue following you around as your own personal bodyguard. Engineer tells you that he does the same to him on occasion. To the extent of protecting his sentries. Apparently Pyro just follows people around like a dog because they have no idea how to communicate their interest.

—————————————————————————

Sniper:

- Watches you a day before a match doing target practice atop a bridge. The targets in question are in the ravine below. The way you so effortlessly hit each target, only missing a few — for some reason caught his attention. He lowered his scope from his eye and preferred the entertainment of you for a moment.

- You get angry after only missing two. Taking your long range and throwing it aggressively into the ravine. Sniper has no clue why you did this, considering you’re the first person in a while who hasn’t fucked up this course right off the bat. For some reason your aggression is getting him hot and bothered. Is this just a weird preference or a sexual thing? Holy shit, he has no idea.

- Sniper brings his legs together to hide his wood. “Eyes both open with a gun like that, mate. Instinctive to close an eye but I guarantee you, if ya just focus on nothing but the target then boom.” He says. Wondering if maybe he was just overthinking and his penis was being insane.

- “As if you shoot with anything else besides a fucking sniper rifle.” You talk back. “I do, actually.” He says, shrugging at your rage. He didn’t feel like sassing back right now. He was tired. “I could show ya if ya want.”

- He bites his lip, applying pressure to the point it’s red. It was both your bad attitude and shooting skills. He loved a partner who was needlessly edgy. This is seriously the type of guy to swoon over the most edgiest of individuals. Eat nails for breakfast and wear a biker vest for god’s sake while you’re at it.

———————————————————————

Medic:

- Uhm.. Medic’s a little weird.

- Not only is he aroused by you in general but the blood on your clothes and in your hair. The way you kill enemies in-and-itself is arousing him. Much like Engineer he tries to focus on his job to no avail. Ends up pocketing you all day and after the other Mercs ask him about it, he claims it’s because they’re all annoying and not doing their jobs correctly again.

- He sits at his desk at night trying to do paperwork. He can’t focus after what he’s seen today. He begins having incredibly fucked up fantasies of eating your organs. Or you climbing into his chest and sleeping in there. Better yet? sex with both your entrails hanging out! knife play! biting! Dear god he’s gross. God, just shut up.

- He puts a hand to his own heart, feeling his heartbeat. For a second he suspected he was getting possessed or something. But no, he’s just incredibly horny. “Archimedes.” Medic said breathlessly. “I do believe i’m moonstruck. Which is unacceptable..” He sort of laughs nervously.

- Coooo. Brrr.

- “Yes, I wholeheartedly agree.” His voice is hoarse. Medic picks up his bonesaw at the end of his table and looks at his own reflection in it. “Every time I love somebody it ends horribly. Best just get what I want and move on.” He says, darkly. What he doesn’t know is that this is the start of his relationship with you. Enticing you to have sex with him — with your consent — it brings you and him to an incredibly intimate level.

————————————————————-

Spy:

- MOTHERFUCKER AINT PLAYIN. he doesn’t waste time. He sees a fellow serial killer and he immediately goes in for the kill. (Pun intended.) But yeah this is Spy we’re talking about here. He’s a manwhore and I thought the canon already established that.

- “That was some fine work out there.” He tells you slowly. His hands behind his back. “Would you care to join me for a second?” He offers his hand. Which you take hesitantly. He takes you to his quarters and attempts to court you. Which works because he’s something straight out of a romance movie with his clever quips.

- “I have a feeling—“ He begins, slowly offering his hand and hovering it above your thigh, placing it down and rubbing you slowly when he didn’t sense any discomfort. “That we will enjoy each other’s company often, my pet.” He looks for your approval. Any sign of it.

- Dude is so fucking slick that you can’t resist him. He’s unbelievably experienced in romance and knows how to charm his way into your pants. It was like you were under a spell by a hypnotic snake. He ends up getting what he wants and doesn’t hold back. His knife is threatening your back and he’s atop you. “Shhh.”

- Sex happens. Aggressive sex. Right off the bat.

[chaifootsteps]

"stella is evil because straight people cant accept when a gay person isnt attracted to them" is arguably the one worst take ive seen a diehard fan spew about this show.

a complete disregard for the way stella feels and acts on screen:

- hates stolas for sleeping with an imp. not for sleeping with another man. doesnt mention once that stolas slept with another man.

- was never attracted to stolas at all. hates him. has always hated him. loves to "torment" him. forced to be apart of an art marriage just as much as he was and obviously didnt want this.

when you cant look at the subtext and dialogue to come up with a motivation for a villian that makes sense, then youre not watching the show at all. youre just projecting homophobia onto a villian so you can justify completely hating them, because fans understand that this show desperately wants us to hate stella; regardless of small possibilities of sympathetic aspects to her.

like i could see them emphasizing her being a bigot to imps, just, not to gay people. her being a homophobe NOW wouldnt be believable since they not only missed that chance, and were at mid to late season 2 in a 4 season long show.

but overall, her motivations for evil are really flimsy and dont make a lot of sense either. (she wants stolases things? why? just to have things? because she loves being rich and being smug towards him? and why does she want stolas dead if she never actually cared about him cheating? just to have his things? why did she say "i want this cheating prick dead" if she didnt actually care about him cheating like stolas said?)

jack horner was fueled by spite that came from a simple but sympathetic place, and it didnt justify his evil. stella being envious of stolas could be a great reason for her to be evil, because he does have more then her. he has powers, an all powerful family artifact that can take him to the human world; he has purpose. stellas purpose is for an egg to be shot outta her hole! that hypothetical motivation wouldn't justify her trying to kill stolas, but itd make a lot more sense.

morally bad character can have sympathetic reasons for being bad, without it taking away from them being a bad person, or the bad things they did, or make them deserving of a redemption arc. i think thats something that viv, adam, and her diehard fans dont understand at all.

and if youre not gonna make her sympathetic, then goddamn, at least make her fun to watch. she consistently hasnt been and its like the show is actively trying to make her less likable and more stupid whenever she shows up, and i dont get why.

Frankly, that person's twitter feed is one of the most delusional things I've ever seen; at one point they say they hate "swearing without nuance."

This is all good stuff, however, especially "at least make her fun to watch," because that's key right there. Villains don't always have to be nuanced, but they at least have to be entertaining.

[anns-works]

Ok so i've got something that yall would probably hate me for. But ive been holding this simmering pot of angst for a while and the first thing i was taught is to share, so suffer with me.

New ROTTMNT AU:

Rather than being the only one out of his brothers to survive in the no-good-very-bad-horrible future, Leo is the only brother who dies.

Okay okay okay.

But i personally like to think that after the krang come out everything goes to shit in the bad timeline everyone goes oh fuck and start teaming up right? Human yokai cryptids mutants– none of that matters as long as you got eachothers back.

And after the initial stumbles the brothers start their active participation in the resistance.

Heres the thing.

Leo is genuinly terrifying at coming up with a plan. Kid went toe to toe with motherfucking Big Mama and came out victorious. Big Mama, as if the most terrifying yokai crime boss Big Mama. Kid came out with a smile. Its safe to say his strategies were incredibly effective and it kinda pissed off a couple of people.

Military dude 1: I can't believe i'm following a plan made by a 16 yo mutanat turtle.

Military dude 2: Your just upset the kid called out all the flaws your plan had in less than 2 seconds flat.

But the one pissed off the most were the krang. This tiny insignificant insect was able to somehow keep the resistance 3 steps ahead. So naturally, they went to take him down first.

It took a while but eventually they managed to isolate Leo. His brothers were fighting up a storm but the krang got too much and so they had to leave. Without Leo.

About a week later which involved a lot of crying and screaming, the krang brodacast a live footage of torturing Leo (my boi) before krangyfying (did i spell that right) him.

And now the krang have leo on their side. Leo, who knows everything there is to know abt the resistance (hes a gossipy bitch but thats only cuz its important to have the intel) so they are in deep shit now.

And he was a zombie for a while guys. Fighting against him always had people dying and his fam having a mental breakdown.

Eventually they take him down, but at what cost. (One of the brothers killed him. cuz angst. And now the question is who is the MOST angst) Also, Leo is the first person to die in the resistance. (Ouch)

Casey rools up and has no fucking clue who Leo is (ouch) or why his mom wanted him to take up the role as Casey's dad (HC: Cass took one look at tge record of Leo's victories against his brothers in the lair games, strategy skills and medical knowledge; and declared that he would be Casey jr.'s father. Leo was incredibly touched)

But for some reason. For soME FUCKING REASON. Kid is so much like Leo its scary. His family is near tears everytime they see him act like that. That one time he made a shitty pun and Donnie started crying.

Well its probably due to the blue imaginary friend he has that he calls Bluey. Yes we're going towards that direction. His everything comes from being influenced by the cool older brother figure he has as an imaginary friend. (Cuz of ✨Mystic Shenanigans✨ Bluey is still stuck here. Mikey is the only one who can also see him. But he cant. Cuz hes depressed)

Also without Mr. A-Ninja's-Greatest-Weapon-Is-Hope I feel like shit gets really depressing in the resistance. Everyones sad. Baby casey is sad to see everyone sad. So he asks Bluey's help and picks up his general style of humor. Angst shenanigans.

And. AND. AND. During the whole peepaws time travel back after the movie montage (I am a aimple woman w/ simple need) these depressed hunks see this tiny version of their blue brother still covered in bandages and not fully healed from the krangvasion, and their immediete reaction? Protecc.

Leo is confused abt a lot of things. The future version of his brothers that got spat out of nowhere. Casey and how that worked w/ their Casey. The blue projection of HIS angsty future self (who is pretty cool btw). PTSD. You know, the works. At this point my guy is just vibing, and honestly? The story picks up a pretty chill pace from there. Its all abt healing now baby.

So thats the rough outline of the au. And it might sound like a fucking add but heres more abt this silly little idea that came from my silly little head. -> You'll (Never) Never Be Alone

[atvace]

Lady Dior and the Seven Dilfs

Chapter 9: Arrive and Ride

Masterlist

Warning: sex

The sound of the plane landing finally becomes music to everyone's ear. the ass of the plane opens up revealing a few cars and new people you're not familiar with. Let's talk about you, who wouldn't be in shock after getting edged by your lieutenant's knee? yes, that's it. that is the reason why you've been SLIGHTLY quiet for the rest of the ride. But a girl had to be honest, you want more than that.

Soap and Ghost walked towards an athletic man and greeted each other, "Alejandro!" He smiled, "Sergeant Mactavish." The guy looked like in his mid-30s, had a Mexican accent. from afar, You could see he has a wide forehead, a perfectly balanced sharp nose, keen sharp eyes with perfect jawline. his shoulders are broad. he had those compression shirts beneath his vest which made you melt staring at his bicep is well seen. his haircut, God his haircut is perfectly aligned with the shape of his head. you wanna ride-

"Dior!" Soap's calling dragged your senses out of the daydream. You shyly reveal yourself to the sun and walk towards the others. Alejandro has his eyes locked on your figure as you walk by. "This is Dior, a new re-" "Assigned FBI." You smiled at Alejandro and lent out your hand. "Ay, ¹Dios Mio. Nice to meet you, ²cielita." He locks eye contact with you, softly accepting your hand kissing your knuckle like a gentleman. "I am pleasured too, ³señor." You smiled at him.

You deducted him deeper in up close. you could smell his bergamot musky scent, his eyes is brown but turns amber when hit by sunlight. His hair is neatly combed and his hands are veiny. you wonder how they feel when it's playing your cli-

Alejandro chuckles and lets go of your hand slowly before looking over to Ghost. "Lieutenant! Laswell says they call you Ghost."

Soap pointed his thumb to Ghost and laughed, "Actually, I think he prefers to be called-" "That'll do." Ghost cuts Soap off. which made you raised your eyebrow. Huh, you do in fact had any no idea about Ghost's whereabouts except him being british, tea person, ginger biscuit and all.

He gestured the three of you to follow him. "Welcome to City of Souls." He exposes his cheeky smile while walking towards his truck. Soap looked around at the military activity thats going on around them, "I've never been to Mexico." Alejandro raises his eyebrow at his remarks.

"This isn't Mexico, this is Las Almas." He raises his hand showing a few green hills from the distance. "Shepherd's contractors are inbound to reinforce. They're bringing hardware. It'll need a room." Ghost looked over Alejandro. "Relajar Hermano, my base is your base." The Mexican man stops in front of his car.

"Good, now Where can we know anything about the missile?" Ghost asked again. "Cartel safe house. We'll talk about that in my base, hermano." He opened the door and lent his hand to you. "Ladies first, please." He smiles at you softly. "⁴Gracias, el señor." You blow a kiss to him as you enter the car.

Soap got around the car and entered by your left side as Ghost on your right side. there was a driver already inside whilst Alejandro giving orders before entering the shotgun of the car. The air in Las Almas was a little less polluted than in Los Angeles back in your FBI days. you had no trouble settling in the environment hence you're quite used to it.

"This is my second in command, Sergeant Major Rodolfo Parra," He looks at the three of you from the rear mirror. "Ola, señor." You cooed and Rodolfo smiled at you. "⁵tengo miedo de los fantasmas" Rodolfo said quickly shifting his gaze to Ale.

You snorted to yourself and felt Soap and Ghost's eyes on you, "Ah, 'm sorry." you rubbed your eye. Alejandro pursed his lips and looked back at Soap, "You know Spanish?"

"Uhh, no." "No." Soap and Ghost answered. "Well, a green bird taught me how to form a word or two." You shrugged. He laughs softly and puts on his seatbelt, "You'll manage." And by that, Rodolfo pulls up to the destination.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

You were enjoying watching the scenery that extends in the mirror of the car watching small shops, flower shops, little cafes, and restaurants that you passed by. but eventually, you got a little tired of keeping your head to yourself trying not to lean to either of the men by your side.

Soap notices your little gesture of uncomfiness and slides his rifle to the other side of his legs so it won't bug you, "You can lay your head on my shoulder if your neck is sore, Dior." He softly said to you. Ghost bit the inside of his cheek while side-eyeing the two of you.

"Oh, no no no. the cielita can use this." Alejandro opens and rummages the inside of his car dashboard quickly. You tilt your head in curiosity and perk up when he reveals a pink Hello Kitty neck pillow. Your heart instantly melts and you reach it from his hand.

"Alejandro, this is so cute," you wore it around your neck and closed your eyes. "Fluffy too.. Thank you so much." You squeezed the pillow as Alejandro chuckled. "I got that from gift exchanging. Los Vaqueros does that every time we celebrate an achievement." He leaned back to his seat.

Soap patted your head before looking back at the window. His pupils constricted at the sight of a white carry truck with 4 men holding guns. His palm grasped at his own rifle and looked straight at the 'target'.

"White truck, four armed in the back-" Alejandro quickly tilt to Soap, "Ay, hey- ⁶tranquilo." He held his palm as Soap let go of his rifle again. "Easy... that's normal here." He said leaning back to his seat.

You were looking at Soap's sudden tension and then back to Alejandro. "Guns on the streets are jurisdiction of the police. " He marked, "Where are the police?" Ghost asked.

Alejandro clears his throat, "Well, Las Almas has a very serious problem. There are few here to uphold the law and many of those who resist corruption..." Ghost looks at Alejandro, "... disappear." He ends.

You look at Soap, "What about the military?" He asked. "Well, because we are well-trained, soldiers are recruited by the narcos." Alejandro rested his head watching the streets. "Why not you?"

Ghost's question made you and Soap glared at him. Even Rodolfo sighed in defeat whilst Alejandro tried not to smile, "We grew up here. They call us Los Vaqueros...cowboys." You raised your eyebrow at his answer.

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy." You said in a relaxed tone. now they're glaring at you but Alejandro nervously rubbed his forehead, "I like you, cielita."

A few minutes went by, your group found themselves waiting for a red light. On the other side of the road, there was a mother and a kid buying balloons with someone holding a gun beside them. Ghost and Soap exchanged looks, "Kids, guns, and balloons.."

"That's a new one," You replied at Soap's remark. "⁷Narcos use generosity to win over the people," Alejandro cooed in. "Even the children?" Soap raised one of his eyebrows. "Especially the children." Rodolfo continued.

Another red light made Rodolfo stop the car. You peered over to Ghost's side of the window and gagged after seeing a dead body being covered with written white cloth, smeared red with blood. "Jesus, what the fuck is that." Ghost looks down on you, 'She tortures people with her heels but gags at a covered dead body...' he thought.

"Narcomantas." Alejandro shortly replied, "Cartel Cloths." Rodolfo translates. "Messages from El Sim Nombre, warnings, marking territory." You saw another narcomantas as they passed by, "Our streets are laced with death." Alejandro narrates.

"Whose El Sin Nombre?" Ghost looks at Alejandro from the rear mirror. "El Sin Nombre, The Nameless. leader of Las Almas Cartel." He replied while biting his lips, looking at the huge beautiful graffiti saying 'EL SIN NOMBRE'

"Where can we find him?" Soap tilts his head. "...or her?" You pursed your lips, poking the neck pillow. "You can't. No one knows who they are but they are everywhere." Alejandro said whilst Rodolfo nodded in agreement. "Is this person an individual?" You raised your eyebrow. "Perhaps, we still never know because they're everywhere." He shrugged.

"And that is a challenge. Los Vaqueros loves challenges!" Alejandro snickered and gazed at Ghost from the rear mirror. "With your mask, you'll fit in well here, Ghost." He finishes. but as he said that, you saw Soap doing the 'cut it out' hand gesture. which made you knit your eyebrow at the sudden awkward pause. you tilt your head to Ghost who now has his eyes down to his knee.

'Ghost's mask is a sensitive topic, no good.' you thought to yourself.

Rodolfo slowed the car down watching a road blockage just a few ahead of them. Alejandro seemed frowned at the sight but he gestured to take a turn, "Military checkpoint. Turn right, don't engage them." He ordered. "Yes sir." You watched a few civilians being stopped by the military.

"Why?" Soap looked out of his window, "Some troops are in the pocket of El Sin Nombre. Like I told you, they're everywhere." Alejandro explains again. "My resources is still finding clues and intels regarding of El Sin Nombre. let's hope they found something important."

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Settling into Alejandro's base, he said it was sectioned into multiple buildings to make it slightly more private. You walked towards the light spacious hallway that connects the kitchen and the meeting room. You saw your duffle bag already gently placed on top of your bed. "Finally, inner peace..." You mumbled before falling into the soft mattress. "Dior? This is Rodolfo. Colonel Alejandro wants us to regroup in the meeting room." He knocked on your door softly which made you irritatedly punch the bed. "Ay, coño." You mumbled while getting up again, "Coming!"

You got out of your room with an unpleasant mood, as Soap walked towards you with a small metal box in his hand. You were a bit puzzled about his gesture, "Could you brew this for Ghost? I think he had a car sick." He said in a concerned tone. You held back your laugh, "the lieutenant? Car sick? What is he, five?" You took the metal box and made your way to the kitchen with him.

"Aye, I used to get car sick too in my early 20s." Soap filled the kettle pot with tap water and placed it into the stove, "He's in his early 30s? I thought he joined the military earlier than all of us combined." You furiously tapped your foot to the floor. "Let's not be mean to him, poor guy went through a lot." He turned the stove in.

You scoffed and cackled at his statement because hell if he knew what Ghost did to you whilst he was deep asleep, he would had a stroke on the floor. "Soap, what do you think about him." You watched him lean to the counter next to you. "Ghost? well, he's serious all the time. You know it." He shrugged and playfully tapped his finger to the counter.

"I mean, I've been here for less than a week. people be 'Ghost is scary, Ghost is this, Ghost is that' and I wouldn't find him scary at all" You rub the back of your head. "He's goofy, trust me. Whenever we went to a bar, He would be there just to eat the peanuts." You tilt your head slowly to Soap and scoff in laughter. "What?" "You heard me right. I bought a bag of peanuts as a joke once and he ate them all in the base." He smiled at your reaction.

"You hate Graves, why" Soap looks down on you with a cheeky smile. "Thought I told you already." You fiddled your finger to Ghost's metal box of tea. "That was Shepherd," You parted your mouth into an 'Ooh'.

"He's American." You stated coldly.

"Dior, you're from Los Angeles."

the two of you paused for a few moments before letting out a muffled laughter. "Could you tell me a little about LA?" He leaned closer to you, "Well, It's twice more chaotic than New York. gamblers everywhere, drugs are illegally normalized, and so many kidnapping cases. It's wild crazy but I managed." You shrugged yourself, "I had a...colleague, once." Your voice faded a little lower. "She was detecting...some kind of illegal explosives transaction. It's in Chicago but one of the parties was in LA." Your gaze falls to the floor.

"...She was ambushed." You muttered but still loud enough for Soap to hear. "Could've saved her if only I was tall enough to climb a certain window. I was wearing flat combat boots that time, I haven't worn any heels to work." You weakly looked up at Soap who softened at your story.

"And since then I learned how to run, jump, and even kill people with my heels." Your eyes sharpen. "Was underestimated, but those people are six feet under now." You bit your lip and looked up at Soap, "Am I talking too much? I'm so sorry-" "Dior, it's okay." Soap rested his hand on your head, giving you a gentle pat.

"I'm sorry for your loss, must be...hard for you." He smiled at you softly. "I think doing those.. stuff in heels must be hurt. and you defeating me and the others back in that field showed enough that you are capable of being who you are right now. I think your...colleague would be proud of you, right now." Your eyes moisten a little at his comforting remark. you laughed it off softly at the comfortable moment he built for you.

He's right, no matter how the demotion has taken a chunk of your mental, you're still as perfect as you were back then. you should be proud of how far you've become. Losing or missing a piece along the way might hurt you, but one day you'll find a bigger brick to build yourself even better.

As you two were locking eye contact, out of a sudden you both screamed in terror when the bakelite top bead flung into the air from the overheated kettle pot, hitting the hanging lamp and dropping right in front of your foot. You jumped to the counter as Soap quickly turned the stove off preventing boiling water from splashing all over the stove.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

"And with that being said, does anybody have any question?" Alejandro turned his tablet off as Rodolfo turned the projector off and stood behind Alejandro. Soap shrugged whilst Ghost was just sitting in the corner and you were doodling random drawings in your notebook. "I think that's enough. All we had to do was wait for your intel, no?" You raised your eyebrow. "Correct, I think they should be back by tomorrow before sunrise." He sat on his seat, sipping coffee. There was a slight silence before you realized something.

"Soap do you remember when we tried to eavesdrop Price-" "Captain..." Soap sipped on his Gatorade. "...I mean, Captain Price." You bit your lip in regret, "I overheard missiles were from Russians." Alejandro raised his gaze at you. "Your point is?" Soap smiles at you, he likes it when you get into critical thinking. "...Ghobrani was talking with Russians when Ghost marked him off with the missile that Graves drove..?"

You created a staring contest between Rodolfo, Alejandro, Soap, and you. Alejandro re-opened his note and cleared his throat, "Ghost what do you know?" Everyone gazes at him wearing sunglasses and a cup of tea in his hand that you brewed for him earlier. "Is he...asleep?" You held your chest in concerned. "Nah... I'm pretty sure he's dead."

⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹

The night washes over the sky, your laptop clock shows '22:13'. you rolled over your bed with a slik light green robe to find a working comfort food. the good 'ol American mac n cheese. your mini mission is simple; sneak to the kitchen, use the microwave, leave. then you can continue to watch Scream Queens in your tab. And that's when it hit you. "This is the best idea I've ever had in my entire life!"

That's the worst idea you ever had in your entire life. You spat out the warm mac n cheese out of your mouth to the trash bin, wiping your lips with a tissue. it tastes unpleasantly weird. you figured that it tastes like that because it's been in your bag for nearly 3 days, it probably got soaked or expired. You washed your dishes after throwing away all the remaining mac n cheese.

"Cielita, why are you awake?" Alejandro walked passed you and rested his palms to the top of your head. "I uh, I'm sorry for using your kitchen without your permission. I craved something out of the sudden..." You looked up at him while turning off the sink. "Instead of asking for my permission for the cocina, could've ask me for food instead," He ripped out a napkin and took your hand. gently drying it from the water.

you watched his hand brushing against yours with the dry napkin as a barrier, he then toss it to the trash. "Let me show you a comfort food my mama used to cook." He smiled at you.

God, you're melting to his words. Hes the finest act-of-service man you could ever imagine God has created. You watched him going through his kitchen cupboard taking out a few ingredients.

olive oil, conchas, tomato sauce, parmesran and 2 jars that you're unsure of the content inside. "What's in this?" you pointed at it whilst he was heating up the pan. "The green one is jalapeño, exotic spices and his friends," He tapped the other jar with yellowish liquid inside. "This one is chicken broth with blackpepper, red pepper flakes, and dried oregano." he explains.

"I have my sopita salsas half-ready in the fridge for moments like this." He gave you a cheeky smile. You watched him closely. heating the oil into the pan, adding the shell pasta in, pouring a cup of water and waiting for the pasta to soften. "You wanna watch closer here, cielita?" He patted the empty kitchen counter. You pursed your lips into a thin smile and walked towards him.

You did what he said, sitting in the kitchen counter watching him cook. you could smell the jalapeño doing God's work into the pasta. you felt guilty that he heard your stomach growling.

After a few minutes in, he poured in the chicken broth and let your stir it. "Smells good doesn't it cariño?" He rested his hand to your thigh watching you taking a good sniff of the soup with the wooden spoon. "Yeah, it does." You put down the spoon and stir it gently.

"I think it's ready for the tomato sauce." He effortlessly opened the canned red sauce and began pouring it gently before continuing stir. When the soup formed, You took a smaller spoon and took a small amount of the soup, blowing it gently to cool off before tasting it. "...I think it needs garlic?" He raises his eyebrow before taking your spoon and licking it himself. Your face blushed fifty shades of red as he hummed to himself, "Must agree, I'll get the cloves."

After a few minutes of brewing, he decided to turn off the stove and let you taste it first. "Have a bite." He took smile pieces from the pan with a spoon, aiming it at you. Smiling in excitement, you leaned and blew the hot pasta from the spoon he held for you.

After chewing and shifting the pasta around your mouth for a good moment, you raised your eyebrow in surprise, "It's flavorful but in a good way, wow you're a good cook." He laughs at your compliment, "And a good cowboy." He quickly turned the stove off and shifted away to get the bowls.

You'd be lying if you say you're not flustered. He knew how to scoop your heart once in a while. "Come, have a seat." He dragged the chair for you.

He lit up a scented candle and lit it, "Is this some kind of a candle-lit dinner?" You smiled at him settling down to his seat across from you. "Now that you find it that way, then consider it as a yes." His sharp eyes soften every time he sees you.

You both ate the warm sopita in silence. It was a comfortable atmosphere, you two enjoyed each other's company. A few times whenever you took a bite, he could've sworn he saw a star being born in your orbs. the way you hummed and glinted a smile at his food, softened his heart.

"You like it, cielita?" He looked down at his bowl, "If I don't, I wouldn't be here. Honestly, I never expected someone like you to...cook. I thought you were the take-out kind of guy despite all the military stuff" You scooped up the pasta to your spoon again. "Well, no offense. I went through military too." He raised one eyebrow and chuckled.

"I aspire to be a good son for my mama. That is why I started to learn how to cook for her every time she's too sick to cook." God, something about this man is drawing you in. You should ask him what kind of hex he's using on you because it's damn well working. "Your mom must be proud of herself to have someone like you as her son," You smiled softly and picked up a spoonful of the food you both made.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance before realizing he hadn't prepared a drink. "Is there any preferred drink you'd like to have? Forgive me, I got carried away." He finished his food and got up. "Honestly, I don't mind anything." You ate the last few remains of the sopita in your bowl. "Wine?" He opened a fridge with multiple bottles that worth hundreds. "Red, would probably do..." You took your bowl and stood from the chair.

"Ay, no no no. You don't do this." He stops you while taking your bowl out of your hand. "Sit, princessa. let me serve you."

You are MELTING like an iced slushie under a hot summer in Florida. Watching his athletic figure swaying in the kitchen back and forth, his back muscles and bicep are wrapped nicely in a black collared shirt he is wearing with the sleeve rolled to his elbow. If he's giving you these gentleman treatments again, you're definitely folding.

Popping the bottle and pouring it to the glass, he places it down for you and one for him. You both clink the wine glass. After spinning it slowly and smelling the scent, you look at him with a glinting smile. "Chåteau Camou?" He raised his glass to you and sipped, "You know your drink."

"Well, I must." You laughed and shrugged it. He examined you for a few moments, giving a pause for a few minutes. You looked up at his eyes gazing deeply to you. his eyebrow is intimidating. at this point, it seemed like a staring contest, but you don't really mind. You like the way he looks, he's deadass a hot Mexican.

"Stop looking at me like that," You chuckled and leaned to the seat. "Like what?" He smirked and took another sip of his wine. "Like you want to have sex with me." You hid your smile by biting the tip of your thumb.

His smirk slowly turned into a cheeky smile, flashing you with his teeth. He laughed and rubbed his forehead, "Ride a cowboy to save a horse? how about you come sit here and we'll see where we going." He shifted his knee and tapped his thighs. You're fearless, You've got nothing to worry. It's not like he means his word anyway.

You got up from your seat and walked slowly towards him, watching his veiny hands slithering his knee up to his thigh. You bit your bottom lip and lend out your hand, he held it softly and pull you gently towards him. You sat in his lap as he places your hand to his chest.

"Eager, are we." He whispered as you leaned closer. You brushed your nose close to his cheek, breathing softly to his touch. you rammed your fingertips from his chest up to his neck, he tilts his head to you and stare. He has a brown dimming eye, the way his warm breath surfaced to your chest and neck sent electric down your spine. He grinned and placed his thumb on your chin.

There was a heavy tension between the concerning amount of space you two had. He wanted to lean closer but you kept on teasing him by dodging his lips away from you. He grunted before getting a hold of your jaw, "Stop moving, ⁸niñita."

"Make me, papi." That snapped something inside of him.

He gripped your ass, getting off the chair and carried you whilst you wrapped your legs around his waist. with no waiting, he bit your neck devouring every spot exposed. You whimpered at the pleasure hes giving whilst he still carried you with his other hand in the back of your head, stilling it so he could get a taste of you.

walking towards his presumably his room, he pushed open the door with one leg and locked it. He shifts his mouth and bites to your chest making you whine, gripping his broad shoulder like there's no tomorrow.

"You asked for it, cielita." He whispered to your ear, dropping you to his bed before kissing you passionately. you slithered your hand around his chest, up to his shoulder and bicep, feeling every single one of his body heat against yours.

nibbling your bottom lip furiously, he unbuttoned his shirt and left his chest exposed. Your abdomen and his brushing against one and another, stroking you dry but enough to make your panties damp. "Holy shit-" you pulled away from his kiss. "May I?" He tugged the ribbon that ties your body to the robe. "Only if you can make me cum." You pinched his cheek and he gave you a smug laugh.

"Bet." He pulled it off and witnessed a goddess in her lingerie, "Like what you're seeing?" You smirked at his parted lips. "The 141 has been keeping this treasure all to themself, ⁹no lo hacen?" He chuckled while tugging the vibrant color of your panties.

taking his time, Alejandro snucked his nose to your briefs, taking a deep breath to get ahold of your scent. you yelped when he slid his index into the entrance of your folds. "¹⁰huele tan bien, cielito." You raised your eyebrow and chuckled, "Nah, they don't...touch me. I mean Ghost did but not this far." you admitted. You saw his eyes rising from your thighs in surprise. "Then let me give you what Ghost didn't, no?"

He finally lifted the lace before devouring you down to his bed, flicking your clit and gripping your inner thighs defensively. You gasped softly at his moves and muffled groan. "Dios, ¹¹sabes tan dulce." He muttered beneath you.

Impatiently, he yanked your panties away and gruesomely polished your entrance. he stretched your folds with his finger, sucking you inside out while you tugged his hair holding back your moans.

His hitched breath brushed against your sensitive clit which made you feel a knot building up in your stomach. he pushed himself deeper as your release melted against his face.

"¹²Chica come so easily, hm?" He got up licking your remaining sweet sextillion-dollar fluid. "I bet you come easily too, papi." You smirked under him. His lips slowly pursed into a smug smirk, "¹³Ay coño, you don't know what you signed up for." He quickly unbuckled his belt, pulling it away from his pants before pushing both of your wrists down the mattress.

"What are you-" Your words were cut off when he flipped you over and tied your wrist down with his belt. "Let's see how far ¹⁴puedes ir." He slids his thumb to your entrance as you whined into the mattress. You could feel him taking off his pants but every time you tried to peek, he would grab you by the jaw and make you look front.

"No peeking, princesa. Let me.." 'SLAP' He spanked your entrance followed by your loud moan. arching your back enough, you could feel his tip trying to fit into your trench. "¹⁵Preparar, cielita." He pushed it in which made your ass slightly vibrated. "Fucking hell- It won't fit." you whimpered trying your best to keep your knees up.

"Really?" He smirked and pushed more of his length in, "Jesus- Please tell me tha' all- Oh Lord." You whimpered between your moan, feeling so stretched from the inside. "That was just half, ¹��hermosa." He pushed his length in again. "This is full."

You let out the loudest, softest moan you could ever let out. Alejandro was triumphant witnessing that. He kissed your shoulder and placed his hand on your lower stomach, circling it between. "You feel this bulge, ¹⁷cariño? you're tightening around me..." He pulled out half of his length and pushed it back slowly, grunting every few moments.

You rolled your eyes to the back of your head feeling high up in the sky, whilst he filled the void of your insides so slowly and rhythmic. "Faster, papi." His eyes widened. "Say again, ¹⁸belleza?" He stops with his whole length inside. "I said, Fas-"

He pulls out and slams himself into your cervix mercilessly. You had to gawk out a messy moan while feeling him holding back your tied wrist, bullying your insides wildly. The sound of wet skin slapping at each other filled the room, the way you felt ecstasy and a knot building inside you had gone dumbfoundedly filthy.

As he thrusts into you like a little fuck toy, you couldn't see shit. you were buried into the mattress deeply, feeling yourself overstimulated to the point where you couldn't tell if you had came or not. He fucks you so good you turned dumb at this point.

"¹⁹ven aqui, guapa." He flipped you over and pinned your wrist above your head. Now you're seeing the beautiful man above you, fucking you with your legs above his shoulders. His sweat forming around his forehead, the way he grunted and his ears turning red. you loved the way his abs and abdomen moved and smashed against you.

"This is what you longed for, cariño? this is what the ²⁰maravillo Ghost can't give you? let me show que hombres de verdad looked like."

He kissed your mouth while fucking you like a whore, squeezing your blowsy breast that peeked out of your bra. You let go of the sloppy kiss and moaned uncontrollably. "Ah, 'm gonna come."

"Then fucking come for me, mami." He whispered and bit your earlobe which made you feel tingles. He thrusted in you, slamming your insides a few times before you let out another loud lament as your juices came out. He pulled out and dunked his 7-inches to your stomach being proud his sword had weakened you, letting his thick vanilla ooze around your stomach and hips.

You breathed out heavily, feeling so much emotions penting up in your head and sex. He chuckled before leaning down on you to take his belt off your wrist. feeling freed, you closed your eyes and bit your lip. "Wow.", He places his forehead to your knee, planting soft little kisses around you before looking up at your gaze. "Wow?" He smiled.

You tilt your head to his bedside, looking at the digital clock that drew at 2.30 am. he noticed this and layed beside you, not forgetting to give you a peck on the lips and forehead. "Rest?" He spooned you from behind. "Rest." You smiled weakly.

"I'll wake you up in an hour and half so we have enough time to clean up, como suena eso, chica?" He presses his nose to the back of your hair and wraps his hands along your waist. "²¹si si..." Your head was too high in the clouds to translate any words outside English.

As the moonlight shines through his dark curtains, you and Alejandro were sound asleep. enjoying each other's company, one and another. Clearly unaware of someone hearing you moaning a little too loud.

some spanish translation 101໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

(forgive if I got some wrong)

~ Relax - Relajar

~ How does that sound - como suena eso

~ What real men - Que hombres de verdad

1. Oh God - Dios mio

2. Sweetie - Cielita

3. Sir - Señor

4. Thank You - Gracias

5. I'm scared of (him) Ghost - Tengo miedo de los fantasmas

6. Easy (calm down) - tranquilo

7. drug trafficker - Narcos

8. little girl - Niñita

9. dont they - no lo hacen

10. smells so good - huele tan bien

11. taste so sweet - sabes tan dulce

12. (beautiful) girl - chica

13. oh fuck - ay coño

14. (this) can go - puedes ir

15. prepare - preparan

16. beautiful - hermosa

17. dear - cariño

18. beauty - belleza

19. come here beautiful - ven aqui guapa

20. marvelous (masculine) - maravillo

21. yes yes - si si

[hollyhomburg]

👉🏻👈🏻 Can you go into your skin care routine a little bit as in what order you apply things and how long in between applying products (like is it immediately or do you wait 5 mins to let the first stuff dry/sink in before the next product)?

I get so lost with skin care that I get discouraged and then dont so anything.

oh god this is probably gonna be really long but,

so for the pm- Basically with most of the humectant (moisturizing stuff) you wanna apply that as soon as you get out of the shower and in quick succession so that any water and moisture can get absorbed into the skin and not just evaporate. assuming you shower at night like a sane person this should be your first step when you get out of the shower, you can not wipe off your face with your towl to keep your face damp for longer, i usually don't even wait to put on my pj's before i sit infront of my little skincare stack and start to slap stuff on my face.

the first batch is stuff like the cosrx snail mucin, cosrx glactanomicies ferment filtrate and hyaluronic acid (you'll see a lot of people tell you that 'the ordinary' one is bad but tbh it's fine and cheap, but a good option is also the one from good molecules, neither of them are more than 10$).

if you do not shower at night or wait to long and your skin gets dry, then you want to preface all of your skincare with some sort of toner; the lineage cream skin is absolutely amazing- especially if you have redness and inflamed skin- it is a little bit pricey but tbh most toners run in the 15-30 per 60oz range. these can last you up to 6 months. my leniege one was actually a gift from a follower for my last birthday and i've been using it very sparingly. i immediately follow it up with snail mucin, hyaluronic acid, or something light and hydrating, this is the first barrier of skincare that kind of cushions your skin if you plan on using an actives.

You want to sandwich all of the stuff that dries out your skin from acne, takes care of your fine lines and wrinkles, or chemically exfoliates your skin between your serum and cream. now is when you get into the waiting- when you start to apply your actives.

Actives are stuff like retinols/retinoids, aha's or lactic acids, bha's or glycolic acids, salicylic acids, and niacinamide. these are things that can damage your skin if improperly used. for me- aha's feel a little less damaging than glycolic acids. aha's and bha's are generally a once a week thing especially if you're just starting out. niacinamide help with sebum and clogged pores as well as pigmentation issues, salicilic acid is also something that kinda helps keep your skin sterile from acne causing bacteria, if you have sensitive skin introduce these very very slowly, start with niacinamide and work your way up. i apply niacinimide almost every day and everything else as needed.

next you have your eye cream- it can change based on what you want to solve, if you have fat loss around your eye (ie deep set eyebags like mine) you want to use stuff thats going to thicken the skin faster- staying away from stuff that decreases blood flow like caffeine, if you have dark circles- you want stuff that has brightening agents. if you have fine lines- then eye patches (mini eye face masks basically) and a super hydrating undereye cream will help. i tend to lean for the hydrating stuff. because i have dry under eyes, fine lines, and fat loss.

the ones ive tried are the cosrx snail peptide eye cream, the beauty of jeoseon ginsent and retinal eye cream, the mizon snail repair eye cream, the purito green level eye cream, the haru haru wonder cream the inky list retinol and caffine eye creams, the good molecules, yerba mate wake up eye gel, and the milky dress wrinkle and whitening eye cream. the ONLY ONES that i saw ANY difference with are the good molecules, milky dress, and haruharu, but the one from good molecules is adequate under makeup and the best by far and cheapest.

fat loss is one of the main reasons why you want to stay away from things like lash growth serums, there are some that claim to not cause fat loss, but tbh, seeing as the only way to fix it is via invasive cosmetic surgery- i wouldn't risk it. it's not worth it.

Next i go in with a cream. and then acne gel over top and then you're done!

So basically

shower

Toner,

hyaluronic acid/serum/hydrator

wait until skincare has absorbed,

Apply actives if you desire actives to fix issues, wait inbetween each application so that the skincare has time to sit and soak in,

You can apply your eye cream at the same time as these steps, because usually actives should not go around the eye area.

Cream, no need to wait

Acne treatment

hope that helps! i have to start my workout now~~~ good luck!

[thechaoticreader]

Popular Books I Read and HATED

*Disclaimer: If you like any of these books, slay! I'm happy for you! These are just my own consumer choices, and imo negative book reviews are just as helpful as positive ones!*

This list is not long because I don't actively dislike many books that I read, and I have a very good sense of what I will and will not like, but there are some I had to read/were misled into reading so here we go:

1. Tender Is The Flesh

by Agustina Bazterrica

My rant review is above if you want more details but recently I've seen a few videos that articulate my feelings in a way that I couldn't before so im going to add a few reasons here that were not included in the original post:

It gave very Qanon and general antisemitic vibes: i.e blatant conspiracy made up by the "wealthy liberal elites" to encourage cannibalism for their own enjoyment (I know she's Argentinian however that doesn't mean im not allowed to get the ick from it)

Purposefully inaccurate depictions of meat industry and disrespect for farmers (context: im a vegetarian from farm country with a roommate who works in the cattle industry - Angus beef if you're curious - so im very familiar with the process and cannot say in good conscious that it is all bad -> just support local farmers <3)

world building makes little sense

COWS DO NOT EQUATE TO HUMANS NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO !!!!!!!!

the "disease" doesn't make sense (even if its made up who would believe it)

No themes were treated with the depth nor nuance they require (capitalism, feminism, veganism etc.)

I think thats all I haven't covered but this is the only book I have ever read where my hatred of it continues to grow with each day. I went out of my way and deleted it from my reader and get annoyed every time I see it. And for the record (because yes i'm salty) I didn't hate it because it was too disturbing, in fact I've read and loved worse and ive been an avid horror reader since I was (admittedly too) young. I hate it because there wasn't a well done story underneath the gore. I'll say it loudly for the people in the back GORY HORROR BOOKS STILL DESERVE A GOOD/INTERESTING STORY, especially if you want to try to put complex themes in it. If you cannot write a deep story but you're good at and enjoy gore, write yourself a lil 100 page splatter punk and we can all have a good time <3

Unlike with Tender Is The Flesh I don't have a ton of thought out critical reasons for the rest of these soooooo I'm going to give my highly subjective reasons -> I totally understand why some like them <3

2. The Handmaids Tale

by Margaret Atwood

hated the writing style

It didn't keep my attention

disliked the ending so much I actually threw it across the room <3

3. The Hobbit

by J.R.R Tolkien

hated the writing style

male centered fantasy is not my vibe

my ADHD cannot handle long incredibly descriptive sections in books -> I physically fell asleep multiple times while reading this book

honestly even with the movie I fall asleep every time

0/10 book I want to read

10/10 bedtime story

4. Lord of The Flies

by William Golding

hated the writing style

hated most of the characters (and not in a slay anti-hero way)

was forced to read it in high school and it single handedly sent me into a 4 year reading slump... I missed so many good books because of this and will forever hold a grudge

5. Romeo & Juliet

By William Shakespeare

I'm too jaded and gay to enjoy this -> every single character is so painfully stupid

tbh im just bitter that his (imo) better plays get less love than this one, its way over hyped

but I will give it points for boring me so much that I wrote my first fanfic (Romeo x Mercutio if you're curious ... no its not posted anywhere and it never will be <3)

sidenote -> Shakespeare plays I love incl:

Hamlet (duh im a depressed emo gay on Tumblr)

Macbeth (also duh, witches and female manipulator... need I say more)

Othello (a slow burn for the true crime girlies)

Measure for Measure (absolutely underrated, please please please look into this play -> I saw a production of it and it was incredible)

[rimaurimau]

the whole 1975 thing pisses me off. people cant seem to comprehend that this isnt some black and white situation where its just homophobia because its so much more than that. i couldnt care less if he jacked off on stage, the problem is that he did this in a country thats incredibly queerphobic and because of that is incredibly strict on what bands can play here and what they can and cant do/say. We malaysians don't get alot od international bands as is, so bands like this and the strokes coming here of all places in our shit hole country is huge. but him saying and doing all that did this:

- cancelled the entire event because our government caught wind of it and shut it down after the first night when it was supposed to go on for 3

- probably made the rules and restrictions for bands to play here even tighter

- made other bands hesitant to play here

- maybe even tightened up the laws on queer people here in general, even more worse than they already are

- possibly put a lot of queer malaysians in general in danger because if the pigs suddenly decided to investigate the event further and question the organisers or people who attended and those people happened to be queer and they found out? theyre going straight to jail because that's how queer people are treated here by our government

yeah there are a good chunk of people here angry purely because of homophobia, that fact isnt something that can be denied or glossed over. but the most important thing here is the queer people that are gonna be put in danger. we're already consistently used as a political scape goat. but now we've finally started to take baby steps in the right direction of progress after finally electing the first pm in our history thats leftist (when in reality he's centrist at best) and now with how matty healy behaved and what he said, our governments fear of queer people have been confirmed and we might be in even more hot water. they've already discussed about making being queer a mental illness and this might give them the push to confirm everything.

what he did did nothing but do bad. we didnt need some white guy to tell us how oppressed we are, how queer people are ridiculed discriminated and abused, trust me buddy, we've lived here all our lives, we know, we dont need any white saviour telling us this.

people will scoff at countries like Malaysia because of how queerphobic it is and simply throw any empathy and kindness out the window, but people seem to forget that this queerphobia exists for a reason. the queerphobia here exists because WE exist, because WE QUEER MALAYSIANS EXIST. it doesn't just exist just because, they're hateful of us because we are here, they're hell bent on getting rid of us because we are here.

I've seen some people say "then just don't get international bands" why? why dont we get to have the opportunity to see the bands we like? why dont we get to have fun? what makes so inherintly lesser that we dont get to indulge in stuff like this like people from other countries do? we already are barred from being openly queer, is it so much to ask that we just want to have a good time by seeing bands we love? do we not deserve that just because people think our government and the shit heads here represent our entire country, acting like theres absolutely no queer communities here constantly fighting for our right to exist? is that why people think so lowly of us?

queer malaysians are now in danger and our progress have been set back 50 steps thanks to matty healys "activism". I understand that he did it in good faith, but it just came off as entitled, privileged and selfish, especially with how he handled it after the fact.

if you're here to argue or insult me on this post, dont bother, im blocking you. im not wasting my time.

[coldresolve]

i agree with most of your post ! but honestly the one thing i dont get is why wouldnt it make *some* people more "obedient" or compliant, even in the future? i'm a victim of abuse which is in a way similar to torture, just more long term. for years and years after it was over, i was still considered "obedient" like i did not stand up for myself, followed what people told me. i've been in therapy and it helped but i still get in that "mindset" sometimes.

so not that i disagree but i dont think it's true in all the cases. for some peeps who are already "inclined" to be obedient (for lack of better word) it could push them that far. that is what happened to me, but yes it wasnt pernament because now i see things thru more and try to actively not think like that.

or maybe my situation is deemed too different, i dont know. but i just think it should be both. some people get more defiant, some people get more obedient. it depends on personality and a lot of stuff i think !

but for what it's worth i fully agree that it wont bring you information. people would most likely lie or make something up even when tortured. or i dont know. thats what i would do !

im not an expert in abuse, and while i get that there are similarities in the consequences of torture and abuse, and that torture is often done within a context of other forms of abuse, and that there's a degree of arbitrarity in the definition of what constitutes as what - there is still a difference, in my opinion. abuse as the slow burn, versus torture, the explosion. i guess it just depends. my post was specifically about torture.

what i mean by 'obedient' isn't just learned helplessness, it's the notion that torture can cause a person to willingly conform to whatever their torturer wants them to. which is torture apologia. as in, im not just saying that for shock value, it is actual torture apologia.

but even reluctant compliance is complicated when it comes to torture, it depends on a host of things. and this can also easily slip into torture apologia, too - there's a reason i brought up the notion of corporal punishment as a crime deterrent in that post. i was gonna write a decent long thing about it, got as far as reading up on a couple of studies, but then i remembered that @scripttorture has done all that leg work already and is better at wording these things than i am lol. here's a good post saying it's complicated. heres another telling you why brainwashing isn't real. quote from the latter:

It suggests that survivors are controlled by torturers. That torture can ‘force’ people to change their strongly held beliefs. It suggests that because of these two things survivors are dangerous and this is a line of thought that is used to bar real survivors from real help. None of that is true. This is not how torture functions.

And another, with another solid quote:

Torture radicalises. It creates entrenched, lasting opposition. It breeds hate. If you want obedience in your story, then the first thing you need to do is remove all physical abuse. Including things like sleep deprivation, bad cell conditions and solitary confinement. All of these make obedience less likely.

[findstenicht]

15 questions for 5 mutuals

Rule: You have to answer truthfully and you have to tag 5 mutuals in your post.

I was tagged by @apoloniaspiegelgold, thank you!! <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

nope! although my dad used to claim that i was named after some slavic actress/model/wife-of-Some-Guy whose name i always forget

2. When was the last time you cried? Why?

the weekend before the last, just your average sunday afternoon mental breakdown

3. Do you believe in Soulmates? 

sort of, but also not really? i do believe that there are certain people who are supposed to be in your life at certain times but that doesnt necessarily mean "forever"

4. Do you drink liquor? 

rarely - im not opposed to it, i just dont often do things where there's alcohol involved

5. What do you usually daydream about?

listen. i have a very specific daydream universe that i always come back to but. you know how you sometimes read a story and can pretty much guess what's wrong with the author? describing my daydreams would be like that except you wouldnt have to guess at all, it'd be the most on-the-nose thing you've ever seen. might as well just post a list of everything that ever went wrong in my life and it'd be less embarrassing

6. First thing you notice about other people?

their voice!! (i mean obviously lots of times you see people before you hear them, but i dont really notice anything more specific than a general impression about appearances at first glance, yk?)

7. What's your favorite quote from a TV show/movie/book?

does a poem count? cause the only thing i can think of is "Es gibt keine Schuld. Es gibt nur den Ablauf der Zeit." from tucholsky's poem aus, which i havent stopped thinking about since i read it nine years ago (and for which i still havent found an english translation, sorry!)

8. Some of your pet peeves?

absolutely hate when people overexplain stuff to me that i know, that you could reasonably assume i know, and that i've told you i know. i know a lot of times people mean well (which is why i wont get actively mad at anyone), but if i already told you i know about something, you really dont have to explain it to me like it's brand new information. (looking at all the guys who heard about my field of study and then went on to describe the most basic sociological concepts to me)

9. Where’s the next place on your travel bucket list and why?

ireland!! i have no specific plans but i've wanted to go to ireland ever since i was a kid and saw the photos my parents took on their trip to ireland in the 90s

10. Where were you born? 

in a small town in northern germany :)

11. What are your hobbies?

nothing exciting tbh - video games, talking to friends, going for walks, and writing (<- i say, barely having written anything in months)

12. What's the best joke you've ever heard?

bold of you to assume i can remember jokes

13. What’s your love language? 

words of affirmation all the way - if i love you in any way, you will hear about it. thats both a threat and a promise.

14. Topics you never get tired of to talk about.

dragon age, what i'd vaguely describe as online media literacy, and social movements (especially far right movements, which i know sounds weird, but for some reason the FR became my main academic interest)

15. What would be the title if your life were a movie? 

not sure if it'd actually fit, but a couple years ago i scribbled down the phrase "the grand stupidity of the general state of things" and ive just been waiting to use that as a title for anything ever since; so yeah sure, why not, title for a movie about my life!

also im gonna cheat here and only tag @78669 (only if you want to ofc!!) bc i love my mutuals but never talk to them and i dont want to annoy them :( (obviously everyone feel free to just consider themselves tagged, if you want to do this!)

[ritualcaster]

Ok so its 2 am and ive been thinking (recipe for disaster, i know) should I message the friend that kicked me from the group chat and blocked me?

('Read more' seperator in case you don't want to read about sappy stuff or give advice)

(Im going to spout a lot, classified as a vent post but i really want advice)

I'm thinking through it to figure it out and its not working so im gonna lay out the facts

(With complimentary + or - for decision)

We've been best friends for 2 years, friends for 5, and known each other for 7, and known of each other for 14.

Around 9/17 she began texing drier and responding less, the change is slow.

On 9/19 I said "Im ngl its 4 am and im scrolling throigh our messages trying to figure out if its just anxiety or we're getting more distant" she responded with "NOOOOOO!! DONT REREAD PAST MESSAGES PAST 8 PM!! YOUR LIFE IS IN GRAVE DANGEERR!!" Which is actually a direct copy paste of a message i sent to her about a similar situation.

On 9/20 we had 3 seperate long winded text conversations, and a 30 minute call, we have not called each other since.

On 9/21 she responded "with probably not today, sorry" after i asked if she wanted to get on and do anything, she then proceeded to message me about a million times over the following 4 hours, these conversations included a message i sent asking "Why dont you respond to my tiktoks. Do you hate me." (As a joke (i can see how it did NOT come off that way), however she had actually stopped responding to the videos i sent her about 3 days before. I sent many with no responses within those 3 days)

On 9/23 I messaged one with a photo asking to do a trio pfp (i did a few trio pfps with her and her boyfriend, then i started editing myself into two of their duo pfps as a running gag. Definitely stepped a line there it seems.) She didn't respond, so I stopped messaging her and sending tiktoks to give her a bit of space.

On 9/24 I sent a few messages, "I sent you so many videos in a row" she responded "ill watch them eventually" I responded "Just block me so my sufferijg can be ended" (as a joke, i felt our friendship was much more unshakeable than it was. I passed off most of these signs as anxiety.) I sent a few messages about games we both played recently, and the last message i sent was at 6:25.

An hour after this, She blocked me on everthing, and kicked me from the gc.

Ok so thats bassically everything that happened over the 5 days up until she blocked me, its a little crazy that im searching through it like this but for a 4 year long friendship it feels warranted

In general the day up until she blocked me i tried to probe about what was wrong in a comedic way, with deadpan affirming responses, or no response at all.

Even after running through it all, it still seems super mixed.

Only reason im debating messaging her at all is because

1. We were talking just an hour before, dryly, but definitely

2. I said "Just block me so my sufferijg can be ended" 2 hours before.

Both of those make this seem a little if not very impulsive, also, this feels like a boundaries issue, which can definitely be solved with proper communication and an open mind.

I also feel like i want to at least get to 'awkward..' terms with her, that way i can rejoin the gc with minimal violence/hard feelings

I can still message her on steam, which she didn't unfriend or block me on, even after I messaged her there. I've also been playing on steam over the 8 days since the blockening, so shes seen me get on (it gives a notif to all your active friends when you play a game) and still hasn't blocked me.

The message on steam was "I can take a hint, ill stop messaging you, but I'm still here, I'm still just a call away"

VERY cringe, but i was emotional. bite me.

So it might be weird to message her now and go back on that, especially if its on the same platform.... ugh....

[fruityuncleskeletor]

It's really hard to feel bad for people with several million dollars in their accounts and thats just how the cookie crumbles. Like I know Katy Perry has had a rough going, but then I remember she recently sold part of her music rights for over TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS and I can't extend that much compassion anymore.

I could sit here and be annoyed at rich folks of all sorts 24/7. I am THAT salty.

But my takeaway from all this is that: - being financially responsible is very hard and NO fun, because my millennial brain tells me to always give in and treat myself, not caring about tomorrow, but sadly, in my case, I am Kitten and I am Daddy too. I know how empty my wallet is and will be and I refuse to go into debt to be even more miserable in the future than I am now. On one side I am crying because I want nice experiences and fun and on the other side I am crying because I would love to be able to offer myself fun and experiences and I can't. - there is a lot of shame woven into the culture of enjoying things. The whole "buy experiences not goods" can only be a thing if you have disposable income to begin with. I said earlier how I will feel left out because my friends will all get to see SKZ and I won't. But like, that's how it's always been. I haven't been on a holiday since 2009. I use my time off either to recover from work or to travel to my home country and listen to my parents be religious nuts and spew more hate than the previous time. I should be used to it by now (I'm not). I guess I am also like a rich person because I don't like paying for things. They're only nice if someone else pays for me and I don't have to worry about MY money leaving my wallet. - the way I allow myself to enjoy things, SKZ included, is rooted in some very unhealthy mechanisms which stuff like Bubble and fanfic and the fandom itself only encourage. The only reason why I am not suffering more actively is because not a single soul interacts with my writing and your asks are the first not-hate ones I received since joining the fandom one whole year ago. Until now, my writing and I used to be embraced and welcomed in every fandom. Maybe I've finally aged out of that hopeful life stage, and my pessimism is no longer palatable to younger people. Either way, that's been sad too and it's contributed to my overall despair. In the past, I always had friends to commiserate with about whatever hardships came my way, now I have no one who's as isolated and forced to be responsible as me. - the line "gave up my youth for my future" feels like a slap in the face for me because here I am - a straight A student who never partied, never did drugs, never got into trouble, only studied their ass off because the adults GUARANTEED ME that hard work pays off. Nowadays the people hiring are rich fucks who bought their diplomas online and who think everyone's diplomas are just as lacking in substance and therefore worthy of ridicule and dismissal. Earlier today I was telling a non-fandom friend that I feel I will leave my little SKZ group through the back door (heh) and quietly because I will feel too embarrassed being the only one who hasn't seen the boys live. But I am sure I will get used to that discomfort like I get used to a lot of uncomfortable things because I get more serotonin from having people to talk to than "enjoying fandom on my own" (which is some Gywneath Paltrow-level ignorant kind of advice). Honestly, I don't wanna dwell in the middle of anger, but outside of it is depression and that's even less appealing.

[elidoesntbreathwee]

Sneak Peak of my Chrissy and Eddie fic cuz i need to et a part of it out there so that i actually finish writing it :')

(btw this is Platonic with a capitol P)

-

Eddie had seen Chrissy around school a fair amount of times, and of course at the middle school talent show, but if he was honest, he would have never guessed what she was really like. He kinda thought she'd be mean and scary, like a stereotypical popular cheerleader, and then he met her in the woods.

She was way cooler than Eddie had thought she'd be. She laughed at his jokes and made some good ones herself. She'd come there for a reason, though, so Eddie delivered, of course, but he and Chrissy had gotten more out of it than they thought they would.

Chrissy wanted something stronger than Eddie had on him though, so Eddie just decided to take her to his and his uncle's trailer. He got her what she wanted, she payed, then left. Eddie thought that'd be the last time he would talk to Chrissy, but he was most certainly wrong.

-

Only a week or so later, Eddie had run into Chrissy again, not in the woods or anything, in a much more normal place, with less suspicious activity. Eddie was making his way back to his trailer after getting some soda form a corner store, when he saw Chrissy a little bit ahead of him. He power walked up to where she was on the side walk. Chrissy had turned her head before Eddie had fully caught up with her and her face lit up.

"Eddie! Hi, how are you?!"

"Hey Chrissy," Eddie smiled. "I've been good, actually. Did the stuff help you?"

Chrissy looked lost for a moment, then realized what he meant.

"Oh! Yeah, I guess a little."

"Glad it helped"

"Do you... i dont know. Do you want to talk at like, a coffee shop?"

"Uhh, sure. Why not."

Chrissy led Eddie to her favorite coffee shop in town, called Café Java, where she visited semi-regularly, to the point that a few of the employees knew who she was. Chrissy ordered a vanilla latte, and Eddie, after trying his best to understand what all the different types were, chose an americano, because he panicked.

They talked for a while, and somehow they'd been talking for 3 hours. When Eddie realized this he remembered that his soda was probably now warm. He told Chrissy that he needed to take them home, and that they should hang out again soon.

He ran home and put his soda in the fridge :)

-

YUP!! thats the start of it :) i have a lot more written than this but i keep putting off writing so i still havent finished it :')

[wrotelovelytears]

Noted

Yes I took another shower (no I don't only take them when I write these posts)

❇I feel like Libras chill out as they age

☸Partially because Saturn is exalted in Libra, and thats practically the ruler of time

☸As they get older they become more comfortable with themselves so they don't seek out as much attention (less involved with drama and such)

☸Venus hates drama and once learned what increase drama and stress in ones life, its dropped

☸Lastly if they have Saturn ruled (Capricorn and/or Aquarius) or Earth in their big three as well. The Earth ruled (not so much including Capricorn) makes them more focused on their home life and what they can pass on. Saturn like state before makes them more in tuned with their internal balance, thus getting reflected outwards

❇I think the reason why Cancer Suns (mayhaps all water Suns) struggle so much is because of how emotions are perceived by society as a whole.

☸The Sun is a masculine planet and people commonly don't associate being emotional and/or sensitive with masculinity. If anything its seen as a more feminine trait (despite literally everyone having emotions). Because of that association Cancer (water) Suns get ostracized for displaying parts of human behavior most would rather forget.

☸They are more willing to show a broad range of emotions rather than keep them in.

❇I've talked a lot about Capricorns, and here I am, about to do it again. Capricorns are the most active Earth sign. Now I know some people are going but Virgos.... But Taurus and let me explain

☸Capricorn is a cardinal sign, meaning they don't start processes (like Virgo- a mutable) and they don't end them (like Taurus-fixed). Due to their constant need to continue what has already been started, they seek out the opportunities to add to things. They aren't as passive in their wants either because Saturn's long time energy. They stick things through, even if it doesn't get finished or go to plan.

❇Since I touched on Taurus and Virgo in that last point I want to explain their crucial roles as well.

☸Taurus is a finisher. Whatever ideas Virgo came up with and continuation Capricorn was doing is ended in Taurus. Now that might seem strange speaking that Taurus comes before both, and it makes more sense that the other two completing. We must also remember that Taurus gains from others, it thrives in community already established (Capricorn's work) and the ideas and notations that fuel it (Virgo's work).

☸For Virgo its the starter. As being the other Mercurial sign (Gemini the first), it constantly has new thoughts and ideas coming to it. Due to its Earth nature it wants to put those thoughts into a physical form, even if it never finishes it, at least its not just running laps in their head.

❇I think people should check their 12th house for the type of artists they enjoy.

☸The house of the ruler of said sign (traditional or modern) can show what exactly you like about them.

☸I found that almost all the artists (music, actors, painters etc) I like are either Saturnians or have a prominent Saturn placement (I have either Capricorn or Aquarius in the 12th, also Saturn in the 3rd so it explains why their voices, lyrics and overall communication style soothe me)

❇Libra Suns might also struggle a lot in society. Yeah Yeah I know everyone wanna say they likeable and that fun stuff, and have you asked a Libra how they were treated growing up/ how many people they can actually call on you would see someone clock out real fast.

☸Part of the reason for this is because the Sun hates being in Libra. That means Libras have to typically exert themselves a lot more than other signs because their natural disposition is not in line with what their ego truly wants.

☸Again with Venus hating drama, since Libra is an air sign you might find them talked about a lot, even when there is nothing to be talked about. They also find the need to constantly find balance (Venus) in their communication with others (Libra/ Air sign energy). It can lead to holding back thoughts, which the Sun doesnt like because it wants you to be expressive and maybe a bit egotistical.

☸Because a lot of their being deals with appearances and how others see it. You'll find them downplaying (or being downplayed) their struggles. As much as they would like the be open with them, they are very aware of how others treat people if they see something about them. In other words they learned early on to keep your secrets to yourself, less they be used.

So y'all probably noticed I'm less active on here. I'm having a lot of health issues that make it hard to write. I just wanted to let people know I still will be posting every now and then and I have to relax on overexhorting myself.

(If you learned something new or would just like to support me you can leave a wittle tip via the tip button or one of the links in my masterlist. Ko-fi: nymphdreams 🧸)

[noco7]

Why are you so invested in Total Drama if you find it so atrocious and hate all of its creators to death?

Look, anon, it's hard to take your question in good faith. There is an interesting question at the root of your ask, "If you consider the media bad, why do you still engage with it?" and that's a question I've actually grappled with before in previous fandoms. BNHA and Kpop alike, and well - the answer was that I LEFT those fandoms. Haven't done that with Total Drama yet, and I have my reasons. But that's not the question you asked, anon. You asked: "Why are you so invested in Total Drama if you find it so atrocious and hate all of its creators to death?" And thats a very different sounding question! Because it sounds like you hate me when you ask it! And maybe you do - which is okay, I'm not mad at people for having Feelings. I'm not the Thought Police. But I can be mad at you for your actions, which in this case... is assuming and lying about me. So instead of answering the question you meant to ask, I’m just going to point out what’s wrong with the question you did ask. "if you find it so atrocious" Okay, I'll admit I've bashed the TD writing plenty of times. But I've also praised it? In the Emma post I've talked about liking a specific plotline:

In my Noah post I've praised an epiosde

I've repeatedly mentioned liking Courtney, Noah, and my profile pic is Cody so like. I do like him too, lmao. I enjoy watching Total Drama the series. Maybe you should have asked me "Do you even like Total Drama?" before assuming I hated the thing. Sure, I dislike a lot of TD writing. But to reduce my views on the show to just that, to just the negatives - "you find it so atrocious," is misrepresentation. Besides that, no one has asked me "whats your favorite plot point," or "whats your fave TD moments" so like. I answer what I've been asked, including this one. If you want to see more TD positivity from me, which is okay, then ASK me for TD positivity! Do that instead of jumping to accusations, I beg you. But the worst part of your ask is this actually this: "hate all of its creators to death" Fuck you. I don't do that, I've never EVER did that. I've never threatened or thought that the writers should be dead. Because I don't actually hate the writers! Thinking someone is bad at their job does not equal personal hatred. I understand taking criticism a little too personally sometimes, I've done it before. But unless you're a TD writer yourself, you should not be taking it personally, because it's not about YOU. And even if you are a TD writer, as a human being you have a responsibility to like... not LIE about what someone else said? Because lying is bad!  So ask me "Could you be less mean about the writers?" or "What is your opinion on the TD writers?" But you didn't! You just jumped straight to "critique = deathly hatred." Which is again, false. I don't want these people dead. I don't even want them fired. Because jobs are important in this economy! Writing a slightly mediocre children's cartoon episode once or twice should never be followed by a real world punishment. No death threats, no harrassment, nothing. Because it's never that fucking serious. The only reason I could ever hate a public figure is because like... they are advocating for terrible LAWS or have committed REAL CRIMES. And I've never checked for the TD people, but I sincerely doubt they are doing either of those. And even when a public figure does that, I'd rather just do my own activism, or block and move on. So like, the TD people might as well be innocent saints to me, lmao. I don't "hate them to death," they're just people who made silly mistakes that I write about sometimes. That's IT. tl;dr: never send me asks this accusatory and downright wrong again. I do not hate the writers, and sometimes I do like the TD writing. Anon, please do better next time. Because any other asks like this will not be answered.

[ox1-lovesick]

I feel like i've embarrased myself enough around you, but sorry if it feels like a spam in your box I'm really bored and, I just saw what that anon said 😶 being rude to you for no reason like bffr? like yes we get what mel is going through we can feel sorry for her cause their alot going on, but for an anon to blame you and putting you as "rude" for blocking someone because they make you uncomfy and really just rude on there side like Mel acc is more seen a as vent acc (to me) I can get that,but what do y'all (you little ppl) not see venting isnt always comfortable to some people as it may seem, when you think of venting as something everyone will say yes to you rlly need to get back into reality, venting if for people you trust, and someone you feel like will care for and help with a situation you're going through. but just bcus someone blocks a person for making them uncomfy isnt need for you to play the "see what there going through" card like "awaring" sav of what their going through like they dont already know is rlly dumb if you ask me 😳 but you see me personally I wouldnt try to stand a ground when you didnt even try to but like thats just me personally (talking to you anon.) 😂🤘🔥, but anyways hru sav? Hope you're doing good 🥰✨. (LITERALLY SORRY FOR THIS WHOLE ASS FANFIC LIKE PARA 😭) , also you dont have tk reply to it, u can delete or just simply private ask but its up to you. have a greatday/night 😜

MY EYES ARE SWEATING THIS IS SO SWEET ☹️ wdym embarrassed i've been wanting to interact with you for the longest time you're so cool 😭 i always see you on ej's (I'm pretty sure it's ej???💀) blog and you're so funny 😭

i was gonna make a post last night saying the exact same thing because?? i literally could not care less how you think of her, i'm not responsible for her mental state and neither is anyone else. i shouldn't even have to explain why i blocked her cause that's no one's business 💀 some friend of hers sent an ask to my other moot telling her about this whole situation saying melli was crying and everything because of me and i'm just like ???? what did she even have to do with this she hasn't been active on tumblr in a week 💀 the casual guilt-tripping too like it's not my fault melli is going through things and while i give her my condolences i have nothing to do with that 💀 i don't get why people can't understand that,, i never had a problem with melli venting to me but i'm a stranger on the internet you met a week ago, i don't know why you'd trust me with those things and why my presence in your life mattered so much that you'd cry over it but it is what it is ig 💀 and literally??? i know that melli is going through a lot but you don't get to use that as an excuse to call me a shitty person, just like your mental health isn't a bypass to do and say whatever you want 💀

thank you for this ask alayna, it was really sweet 🙁 my cat just peed on my bed so i don't feel the greatest but i'm good! how are you 🫶🫶