#if you thought they were related cause of my comments i'm sorry ;w;

[ismashedkasso666]

Rating the Pretty on the Inside album by Hole for my favorite individual in the universe, @therealjoeysmack. ^w^

Teenage whore (10/10) — I clicked on the song, but when it played, it scared the shit out of me. Definitely heavier than I thought, and I expected an intro before they started playing. I didn’t expect to get to jump-scared. Lmao. XD

However, I like it lots. The lyrics are relatable, and the way she sings actually takes me out. It seems like she truly means the lyrics she screams.

I said "I feel so alone and I, I wish I could die. I've seen the things you put me through and I I wish I could die" /+

I've seen your repulsion and it looks real good on you. Denying what, what you put me through. /+

Of my house. Get out of my house. Get out of my house. Get out of my house

Babydoll (10/10) — Reminds me of you, and I like everything about this song.

All waste and void, all waste and void, and void, and void. Wow! /+

In the dark I, I destroy what, what I became, what I destroy, yeah /+

Here you are, as ugly as me, oh /+

"I am, I am," she says. "I am not free," she says. "Help me, I am withering, withering, withering, withering" Hang on, you'll get your soul. It's a soul. Hey, it's a soul, it comes down. See, see it's a soul”

Garbage Man (10/10) — Yes. This also reminds me of you. The majority of the album will likely remind me of you. Smh…

Holy old, yeah, hey, you're mine. Your everything is mine /+

I spread my rot all over this town, and every one of you looks the same, and every one of you feels the same

Sassy (10/10) — I adore the intro where Courtney talks. She has a really nice voice. <3 The lyrics are a bop, as well.

Why am I here? I don't care /+

Sit back down. Sit back down. Sit back down 'cause I said so /+

You're so stupid. I would have done anything for you. Honey, your reputation is shit in this town. You're so stupid. I would have done anything for you.

Good Sister - Bad Sister (9.5/10) — The song doesn’t really “hit” the same in comparison to the previous songs, but I like it anyway. It is decent.

Good sister, bad sister. You're different from the rest, sister /+

I can't, and I want to so bad. And I try but I can't, and I want to so bad. And I try but I can't, and I want to so bad. And I try, I try, I try /+

She's a, she is incredulous. And all of my apathy drips off her dress. She wants you in her descent

Mrs. Jones (10/10) — No comment. Seems quite dark.

Sorry man, sorry, sorry. I've got a bad eye. I shouldn't have— I should've looked at it. I, I should've looked at it /+

Cry me a river, but just take me home, oh. /+

Sorry man, I've gotta— I've got it slimming /+

Don't ask me again; Don't ever talk to me like that again

Berry (9.7/10) — I feel like it could have had something a little more. Though, I am unsure what exactly. I score it highly. Very nice.

Do you want a ride on my death machine? Put a fuckin' diamond on /+

And when I die, won't you bury me? 'Cause I buried you, baby, deep in me. Yeah, when you fall for the garbage man, you wind up in the garbage.

Loaded (8.5/10) — It is decent, not bad at all. I like the repetition of the words in the chorus; it feels “even” and “neat.” The lyrics are questionable at times—actually, a lot of the songs I’ve heard from Hole seem to have a penchant for being questionable. I do not mind, though. I like questionable lyrics, especially when they are borderline perverse (take Tyler, the Creator as an example: LOVE THIS MAN AND HIS MUSIC; I have been a small fan of him for a while.)

Open my scar, let out my stars. Slut me open and suck my scars. /+

As you dance to the sound of a suicide, you only laugh when you try to hide. That you're the rat poison daughter of a suicide. /+

And now I'm loaded. I just get loaded. I just get loaded. I just get loaded. And now I'm loaded. So am I, so am I. And I, I just got, I just got, I just get, I just get, I just get loaded. I just get loaded.

Starbelly (7.2-3/10) — I wish there were a bit more to this, but I fw the little tune that played. Not so much the static, though. I really do not like static sounds in music; the sound remind me of metal utensils scraping harshly against glass plates. Bleh.

As for the lyrics, there was only like, four verses? These are the two that I personally liked.

You know what it is? Is that you're a masochist. It's what I'm thinking right now. I've never— /+

...Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night, and wouldn't you love to love her?...

Pretty on the Inside (7.8–8.3/10) — It makes me itchy (/pos) to think about how well the instruments complemented her voice. She scream-sang in a particular way that I enjoyed, though I cannot describe why. It was just pleasant, I guess?

I feel like there was a subtle difference from how she sang in the other songs, compared to this one. I like that.

I didn’t care for the majority of the lyrics, but this was the one for me. Yup.

There is no power. Like my pretty power. My pretty power. My ugly

Clouds (9.5-8/10) — I liked all of the lyrics from this song, but I choose these ones as my favs.

I think it could have been slightly better if song had a little more pace(?), but other than that, it is completely awesome.

Bad boy. /+

Not explaining. Just accept it… /+

But now they only block the sun. They rain and snow on everyone. So, so many things I could've done, but clouds got in my. /+

Angel dust gets in your eyes, your hair. On acid stars, you're getting there. My body's assembled into a gift to you when you die. I've looked at life that way. /+

But now it's just another show. You leave 'em laughing when you go. So don't let them inside, don't let them know; don’t give yourself, oh, away /+

But now my friends are acting strange. They shake their heads, man, they say I've changed, well. Well, something's lost and rearranged. From living every, every. /+

I've looked at life from both sides now. From win and lose, and still somehow it’s, it's just illusions, I recall, I. I really don't know, I really don't know. I really don't know, I really don't know. I really don't, I really don't, clouds at all. Why are we here, terrified, terrified. Wow!

Concluding comments

Overall, I will say it is a 10/10 total banger.

I am 6900% definite that I have fallen in love with this album. Quite a few of the songs remind me of you, which is epic and makes it even more enjoyable to listen to. <3

I will listen to this again in my own time, definitely. The album was also shorter than I had initially thought.

Extra comment I added, I guess?

I believe you wanted me to listen to Hole album a long while ago. It was Live Through This, and I vividly remember it.☝️ However, I cannot remember if I ever rated it or not. I believe I thought it was decent.

[sparklywatercolors]

Hi, I hope this type of discussion is welcome, if not you can delete this, but I was on tiktok (I rarely use it) because I wanted to see some of edits of my ship (it's a bit of a rare pair in the specific fandom and I've already read all the fanfiction 😭) and of course opened the comments to find some sense of love for the ship but it was all negative/passive aggressive comments with all the people saying they love the ship being buried and only having a couple likes 😔 maybe I'm just not finding the right kinda of sphere to hang around in there but tiktok seems atrocious for anyone who's proship or who are perceived as having comships. And I say perceived because even ships in the fandom I thought were very normal and shipped by tons of people were being attacked... And it was using the same reasoning of its wrong.... It was baffling seeing antis just take anything about a ship and decide it's problematic.

On a positive note, all the edits really inspired me and made me want to make my own for the ship =^w^=

Howdy!!

Keep making edits and making anything you want for your ship. That's the first thing I'm going to say xD.

Honestly, TikTok and Twitter (X 🗿) are like the most vile places to be for fandom related content. I have left both for the reasons you just mentioned. Like i comment that all i do here is block but no literally on those platforms that's all I got to do.

It feels like the antisphere/puritans took over most platforms and it really sucks.

I hope you do find your right circle, just keep blocking people and reporting any of their bullshit that's like full on death threats and shit. Also I sometimes run away to my own personal me-only private amino community for me to post about my fandoms without worry some antis will come over and be super rude cause it's literally just me. So if you ever want a private thing like that just as a breath of fresh air, I say go for it

But overall I am so sorry you experienced that. Fandom is becoming hell basically. It sucks.

🫂

Here is a little sticker for you:

[mlobsters]

supernatural s9e13 the purge (w. eric charmelo, nicole snyder)

this episode should come with an ED trigger warning

THIN MAN Like hell you did, Jabba! I saw you slip a hot dog in your pocket! LARGE MAN Well, I hate to break it to you, pal, but that's no hot dog.

i don't know what the appropriate emoji is for the face i made.

jackles doing the sleep deprived thing well. even his voice sounds scratchier than normal when he starts talking

SAM You sure you're okay, Dean? DEAN Why wouldn't I be? SAM 'Cause -- I don't know you... This isn't about what I said the other day, is it? DEAN Oh, about that we're not supposed to be brothers? No, don't flatter yourself. I don't break that easy. SAM Oh, good, 'cause I was just being honest. DEAN Oh, yeah. No, I got that loud and clear.

💔ouch.

gettin a little over the top with the minnesota thing here (and cute at the michigan mug). stillwater is part of the twin cities metro :p i never heard that accent when i was living there. some accent! but not the fargo accent :P and what's up with trying to make this lovely lady look bigger than she is

deep breaths through this powdered donut gag. at least the cop and dean are enjoying them. jackles sounds congested again

MALA Yes. Okay? We were having an affair -- for years, actually. DEAN I don't mean to be rude, uh... But how is it that Wayne McNut is your type? I mean, you're married to a man who's barely a buck -- wet. MALA What can I say? Sometimes it's nice to feel a little give... DEAN Oh. Yeah, I get that -- a little extra cushion for the, uh...

probably about as fat positive as we'll get but otherwise wtf

sigh. so the fat thing is like. the plot. listen. i'm not gonna comment on it going forward

SAM Wait, you told that waitress the other day you were 29.

at least doing the math on dean's age is easy because he's one year older than i am. so he'd be 35? since this aired in 2014

DEAN Because you're weird around girls. SAM What does that mean, weird? DEAN You're awkward. You know, weird -- Sam Weird. Sorry, man. I'm just... being honest.

petty but understandably so

what is going on with the set dressing. the bedding is clashing with everything, there's a full sized vintage mint colored fridge in this rando motel?? what

(be honest with you i'm fast forwarding through some of this weight related conversation)

been a hot minute since we had one of these (ah but this one didn't make the cut apparently)

DEAN Nice shorts. SAM Nice hairnet. DEAN Yeah, why do I got to be the lunch lady? SAM Since when have you ever complained about being around food? DEAN Okay, this is not food. ALONSO Hey, new guy. Quit flirtin' with the trainer and keep scoopin', huh?

DEAN How the hell do you know anything about yoga? SAM You're not the only one who's ever dated someone bendy.

okay

again with the weird tonal mix of awkward jokes and earnest serious feelings and normal banter

DEAN These aren't "supplements", they're roofies. SAM What? How do you know what roofies look like? DEAN How do you not know? You think I want to end up in a hotel bathtub with my kidney carved out? In Chechnya?

but do you ever actually see the roofies in pill form if someone is roofying you? also not the typical concern of rohypnol-related crime.

dean's cute with the rumpled hair

like the exit lighting made extra dramatic and the silhouettes

DEAN You said that you wanted to keep things strictly business. Well, last I checked, we were in the business of killing monsters. SAM I wanted to keep things strictly business between us. But I still have a heart. What if I had crossed paths with a hunter back when I was possessed by Gadreel? I could've ended up dead, too. Would I have deserved that? Would I have deserved to die?

didn't we just have this dilemma literally the last episode lol

DEAN About what you said the other day. SAM I thought it didn't bother you. DEAN You know, Sam, I saved your hide back there. And I saved your hide at that church... And the hospital. I may not think things all the way through. Okay? But what I do, I do because it's the right thing. I'd do it again. SAM And that... is the problem. You think you're my savior, my brother, the hero. You swoop in, and even when you mess up, you think what you're doing is worth it because you've convinced yourself you're doing more good than bad... But you're not. I mean, Kevin's dead, Crowley's in the wind. We're no closer to beating this angel thing. Please tell me, what is the upside of me being alive? DEAN You kidding me? You and me -- fighting the good fight together. SAM Okay. Just once, be honest with me. You didn't save me for me. You did it for you.

well that hurts because it's true. but sam, what about you, when dean died? or nearly died? was that purely altruistic, just to have dean exist? in their grief after one of them has died, they are willing to trade places, both of them. but ultimately surely they both want both things, existence and to be together

DEAN What are you talkin' about? SAM I was ready to die. I was ready. I should have died, but you... You didn't want to be alone, and that's what all this boils down to. You can't stand the thought of being alone. DEAN All right. SAM I'll give you this much. You are certainly willing to do the sacrificing as long as you're not the one being hurt.

he did go to hell so you specifically could live though, sammy, come on. 40 hell years, no less. that's a lot of being hurt. just to be fair

DEAN All right, you want to be honest? If the situation were reversed and I was dying, you'd do the same thing. SAM No, Dean. I wouldn't. Same circumstances...I wouldn't. I'm gonna get to bed.

welp. that hurts more. imagining the potential hurt of him saying that combined with the "you didn't look for me while i was in purgatory for a year" thing, like it makes it more believable in that context. this has shades to me of when sam is still mad about something and saying shit he doesn't mean, but maybe that's just me hoping

dean really blew everything up. i guess that's the only logical tv response to their little handfasting ceremony, immediately set fire to their relationship

[lyvhie]

i’m so jealous that you got to see them TwT… i have always either missed the date or was unable to attend due to pricing and tickets, but i’m hoping that i’ll get to see them at least once 🙏

don’t get me started on biases though…

127 is so difficult for me to choose, because i just love them all so much that whenever i get sent a new clip i fall in love all over again. i mostly fluctuate between jaehyun, yuta, taeyong, and doyoung. whoever rocks the era the best i guess or whatever i’m feeling… so i don’t necessarily have one specific bias they all just bias wreck each other??

i think dream is somehow more difficult for me because i chose my bias based on personality rather than first looks? chenle has the same personality type as me, entj, and i’ve always loved him for how he acted. (thought recently he’s gotten so much more attractive have u seen that jawline 😧) renjun, jaemin, and jisung always bias wreck though, this era is especially difficult because of how 😋😋 jaemin and renjun look…

wayv is the easiest because i’m very loyal to winwin 🫡🫡 he was my bias when he was in 127 and it carried over into wayv. xiaojun and ten have come VERY CLOSE though i will admit.

a lot of people ask me if i dislike mark or haechan cause they never make my bias list at all and the answer is no 😭 i don’t dislike them. it’s just that when i got into nct it was because a friend recommended it to me. their biases were mark and haechan and so i always treated mark and haechan like they were off limits 💀 i guess that mindset still carries over, because i’ll still thirst and talk about them with friends but there is no… real attraction there?? idk if that makes sense 😭

okay sorry for yapping a lot 😭😭 hope ur day is splendid and well

-🤠

NOO, YOU'LL SEE THEM TOO!!!!! i thought this would never happen to me bcs it's so hard to have kpop shows here in brasil and there's also this thing of pricing and tickets, but it happened!! we choose an expensive hobby, right? 😶‍🌫️ i foresee you seeing them too, believe me 🔮

SO REAL FOR 127, every week i'm choosing someone different to biases, i think i lied to you before, because after doyoung's album, he's top 1 on my heart again. but like, for sticker, jungwoo and taeil were also— YES, it depends on the era.

nct dream is so accurate too 😭😭, also true for personality, i found myself getting bias wrecked by chenle (again) this era too (the "mv jacket behind".... no comments), i really like his personality too, he's so relatable, i know what you mean!! smoothie is really being a test, jaemin is really something else,,, (missing renjun already btw >:(

winwin is amazing too, phantom era was 🙊🙉🙈 no words frrrr, i was so happy to see him there. i'm loyal to mr. qian kun (he's my barbie), BUT xiaojun...... for a long, long time he was a strong candidate, idk the reason, but yk that content on yt where he made recipes? i was in love. i mean, he has such an awesome charisma, i can't explain, i love him. and then yangyang and ten, one of my fav duo. wayv is such a charm, i can't!@

I HAD THIS THING OF "DON'T STAN FRIEND'S BIASES" TOOOOO! it's actually surprisingly difficult to just disassociate it, we like them but still it's not the same as we like the others???? IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN TOO, BUT I GOT YOU!!

DON'T APOLOGIZE, I LOVED READ IT!!!!!!! super-awesome day for you too, thank you for chatting w me 🥺💖💖💖

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Wait isnt futaba related to akira why is this a option to date her unless it's she not but then does she call you big bro that's also really weird and gross please don't let it be like smt iv apocalypse with toki please atlus don't ruin another character like this sillyfudgemonkeys please tell me I'm wrong I really like her character and persona and I can relate to the introvert part too I'm sorry if I'm overreacting but I'm really stressed about this considering the smt iv apocalypse nightmare

Woah woah. *pats your back* It’s ok. ^^; I dunno what happens with this Toki person (now I’m scared to play SMT4:A now cause of what you said), but Futaba isn’t related to Akira. She also doesn’t call him big bro either. It’s just some fans feel like she is like a little sister, and it can be attributed to a few things: similar glasses, how short she is/how young she looks (she’s also the youngest in her grade being the same age as Maiko who is in her 3rd  year of middle school but due to Japanese school Futaba is a grade above her despite being the same age), and also probably the similar family dynamic her and Sojiro and Akira kinda take. Of course it’s not just Akira, but most of the team (besides Yusuke, who is actually the youngest in his grade and closest to her in age, which might be why he’s the exception) is kind of iffy with shipping her considering how young she and looks.

tldr; Futaba isn’t related to Akira, but some people who are iffy about shipping her (be it with MC or anyone else, but esp MC) have a hard time due to the little sister vibe she gives off, not the status. 

[system-of-a-feather]

Okay though, Imma say this and risk having their attentions turned on us or whatever, but one of the things I see on r/fakedisordercringe and similar subreddits is the idea that actually acknowledging parts as parts and not forcibly trying to convince yourself that they are "all parts of you" is the healthy way to heal and have DID and everything else is malingering, roleplaying, or harmful at best and just like...

I know the followers on here don't need me to say this but as someone whose been in treatment for 4+ years, been diagnosed and had that diagnosis validated two other times, but.... no???

Like I get where that perspective comes from, from an outsider less experienced person it is easy to assume that people with DID are just delusional and just think they are different people to keep themselves in denial and they just need to "grow up and stop thinking that and embrace all the trauma and heal" and I know a lot of psychiatrists (derogatory, at least in America they are people who are more doctors than mental health professionals and rarely know about non-medical treatment beyond surface level afaik and ime) think that as I've had psychiatrists suggest that and I have to kindly be like "Oh don't worry we have considered that and me and my therapist find that this works better".

I GET why someone might come to that conclusion, but its just NOT how it works. A lot of healing comes from learning to understand, empathize, and communicate with the other parts - and by doing that, learning to accept them for who they are and as they are, and by doing that, being more comfortable co-existing with those parts. Whether or not that results in fusion is case by case and to the individual, but you don't break the intense discomfort, rejection, and fear that CAUSES dissociative barriers and the dissociation of identity, self, etc by just repeating "that is me I don't remember, relate, or understand anything about this but I have to accept that is me" because... no?

A lot of the time when you have DID - especially in early recovery - memory is very splotchy at best. The feeling of othering from parts stems from a discontinuity of experiences, understanding, and feelings of control over behavior, memories, thoughts, and experiences. A lot of knowledge of these differences comes often from word of mouth of those around them, and sometimes through foggy mirrors and windows of things you don't feel like you'd ever do even though you "were there for" but hardly connect or remember.

To look at that and expect someone to insist and fully internally, logically, and emotionally understand that all of that is them, does really nothing more than get them logically on board and emotionally confused as fuck. And I'm sorry to tell you this, but being logically on board does little to nothing in terms of lessening dissociative barriers.

On TOP of that, you are asking someone who had gone through chronic and complex childhood trauma to just accept and trust what other people are reporting on their behavior (their actions they might not remember) and take it on good faith, when said person probably has been abused, manipulated, lied to, and/or may still be in an abusive, manipulative and dangerous environment. Is that not both a heavy ask for someone who likely has massive trust issues as is and honestly a dangerous thing to shove as "the only healthy way"?

The best way to actually heal and make progress is to learn to deeply understand the parts and their subjective experiences and accept what those parts are saying / experiencing / reporting / feeling at a face value and with all the goods and bads that come with it, because the healthier way to heal is to foster independence, love, and strength internally rather than externally.

And how are you to understand and listen to those parts with a genuine and empathetic and understanding ear, if everytime you look at their experiences, reports, feelings, and comments and shout "YOU ARE ME. YOU ARE ME. WE ARENT SEPERATE WE ARE ONE". Yes, of course we are parts of a whole, but a lot of the time, especially in early healing, that factoid does little in actually understanding the individual parts.

Now, this is where its more opinionated, but I don't see it being particularly easy to genuinely understand those parts if you don't allow for a moderate degree of separation and freedom for said parts to express as they like as to properly understand them and what they feel and experience. By letting those parts express themselves as they naturally do and communicating with them (may that be in journal, internally, discord servers, etc) you can learn to understand "where they come from" and why they are the way they are and genuinely understand and accept that part and their existence on an emotional level.

And with that in mind I really look at that "well have you tried insisting and repeating to yourself that these are parts of you?" and go "?????????? Yes and it doesn't work?????????????"

Anyways, thats just a ramble / vent but tldr, its a stupid claim.

[taetaespeaches]

Idk if requests are open so I'm sorry if they're not, but could i request bestfriend namjoon, where you go w him to his home town to see his family and his family don't believe you're "just friends" and constantly ship you both? Sorry if your requests are closed - I'll use this as an opportunity to tell you how much I love your writing. You're one of the best writers I've found! You nice, keep going 💓💓

“We believe you. We believe thatyou think you’re just friends”

Namjoon x Reader

Word count: 5.3K

a/n: Thanks for requesting this babe, and thanks for the amazing compliment :) I’m so flattered that you like my work. I loved writing this, obviously, since it’s by far my longest piece so far. I’m just so soft for Namjoon and the whole friends to lovers trope. I hope you and everyone else enjoys this! 

p.s. My requests are always open, I just may not get to it for a while. Thank you for being patient! :) 

You almost didn’t notice the lackof music buzzing in your ear as the busy sounds of the subway car flooded youreardrum. “Where are you right now?” Namjoon whispered into your ear, causingyou to quickly turn to face him in surprise, noticing him holding your earbudbetween his fingers.

“Huh?” You asked him with big eyesas his lips turned upwards a bit at your surprised reaction. “I’m right here.”Namjoon cocked his head at you, appearing to disapprove of your answer.

“No,” he shook his head. “Yourbody is here, but your mind,” he gently tapped his finger on your forehead, “issomewhere else.” You simply shrugged in response, Namjoon lightly chuckling.“Are you nervous?” He asked gently with a small smile.

As a bashful smile formed on yourmouth as you nodded. “Kind of.” Namjoon watched you intently, trying to gageyour emotions. “It’s your family, and they’re important to you, and you’reimportant to me, so therefore, they’re important to me and I just want them tolike me,” you admitted with an embarrassed giggle as your cheeks tinted pink.

Namjoon actually laughed inyour face, shaking his head in disbelief, causing you to pull your eyebrowstogether in a glare. “Y/n, you’re my best friend. I love you and they’ll loveyou too,” he assured you as he slung his arm around your shoulders, pulling youinto his body. “Just relax.” And relax is what you did as a response to histouch. He popped the earbud in his own ear, ignoring the glances from theothers on the subway, who were intrigued by your sudden and unnecessarycuddling. “What are we listening to?”

Playfully rolling your eyes, yousighed as you held your phone up to him to show him the name of the song andartist displayed on the screen. He simply nodded, and the two of you stayedjust like that for the remainder of the 25-minute subway ride to Ilsan.

Walking down the streets of Ilsanas you made your way to a bus stop, Namjoon pointed things out to youexcitedly. He had been talking about bringing you home to Ilsan with him forwhat seemed like forever, and he was ecstatic you were finally there with him,even if just for a day. The original plan was to stay for the weekend, butBTS-related business required him to shorten the trip to just one night.

Loading the bus, you struggled tocarry your overnight bag through the seats, causing Namjoon to laugh at yourstruggle. Shooting him a glare, he tried to cut his laughter off, but to noavail. Holding his hand out, he gestured for you to give him the bag. “Come on,”he told you as he took the bag out of your hands with a smile still on hisface. “Sit down,” he gestured to the two seats. “You get the window seat so youcan see the city.” Taking your seat, you smiled fondly at Namjoon as sat downnext to you.

“Thank you,” you told him quietly,making him nod at you, placing his hand on your knee for a moment, just longenough to squeeze it affectionately before he removed his touch.

As the bus started moving, youstared out the window as Namjoon stared at you, watching your face forreactions to his hometown. Feeling his stare on you, your lips turned upwards.“Stop watching me,” you teased him without even a glance towards him, to whichNamjoon quickly averted his eyes to the opposite side of the bus with a bigsmile spread across his features, dimples on full display for anyone who mayhave been looking at him. As he looked away from you, feigning innocence, hemade eye contact with an elderly couple who were both smiling adoringly at him.Feeling slightly nervous under their gaze, he bowed politely.

“You two make a beautiful couple,”the man said as the woman nodded in agreement. Their words made you turn tolook at them, cheeks already flushed with red at their comment. You smiled atthem and bowed, not wanting to correct them.

“Thank you,” he told them as hisbody heated up in embarrassment. Turning to face you, you both looked at eachother and tried to hold back your laughter. You and Namjoon? Yeah right, youthought. It wasn’t that you weren’t interested. In fact, you had always beeninterested in Namjoon. But when you first met, you went straight intofriendship, and it would difficult for that relationship to change into somethingelse… wouldn’t it? Sometimes the way he flirted with you made you feel like hemay be into you, but you also couldn’t believe that your best friend wouldactually reciprocate the confusing feeling you had for him.

Suddenly, by the grace of god,Namjoon pointed out the window. “This is our stop.“

As you stood up, you both smiledand bowed at the couple once more before exiting the bus. “That was soawkward,” you laughed as the bus drove away, Namjoon bursting into his ownlaughter. However, he didn’t say anything else regarding the topic. Did it meannothing to him, or did it mean too much?

“Here, the house is this way,” hesaid, stepping in front of you as he led you towards the direction of his home.As you tried to take your bag out of his hand, he pulled it away from you. “Igot it, babe,” he told you with a smile. You nodded, smiling graciously at him.

After walking just for a coupleminutes, he stopped and pointed at a cozy looking house. “That’s it,” hesmiled.

Your eyes lit up at therealization that this was where your best friend grew up. “Oh wow,” you smiledbrightly. “It’s beautiful, Joonie.” As you took in the sight of the home, hiseyes were locked on your features, admiring your enthusiasm for a simple house.

“Namjoon!” A woman yelled inexcitement as she stepped out of the house, pulling his gaze from you to thevoice.

“Mom!” He smiled happily, quicklystepping towards his mom. Looking back at you, he gestured for you to followhim, to which you obliged, following closely behind. As he greeted his mom in ahug, you watched the scene, feeling an overwhelming happiness. When his dadstepped outside, Namjoon greeted him with a hug as they both chuckled into theembrace. You stood by, watching the reunion fondly. As Namjoon stood next toyou once again, he grabbed your hand in an effort to calm your nerves.

“Mom, dad, this is—“

“You must be y/n,” His mominterrupted him with a giddy grin.

“Yeah, this is my best friendy/n,” he looked at you. Namjoon’s parents shared a knowing look, though youweren’t sure what they knew, before his mom stepped towards you andpulled you into a hug.

“It’s so nice to meet you, y/n,”his mom told you as she squeezed you tightly.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” youtold her as she pulled away, keeping her hands placed on your shoulders as shestudied your face.

“Aren’t you beautiful,” she saidmore to herself than to you. Looking up at her husband, she asked for hisconfirmation. “Don’t you think, Dear?” Namjoon cocked his head in confusion athis parents’ reaction to meeting you.

Mr. Kim nodded in agreement,flashing Namjoon a proud smile, to which Namjoon scrunched his eyebrows, hisconfusion increasing. His dad held his hand out for you to shake. “Nice to meetyou, y/n.”

“You as well,” you said as youshook his hand.

“I’m happy to be able to put aface to all the stories,” he told you with a happy chuckle.

Eyes widening, you looked from Mr.Kim to Namjoon. “Stories?” Namjoon immediately blushed. “Hopefully goodstories,” you smiled, still a little nervous.

“Oh, of course, sweetheart.Namjoon just likes to talk about you. We feel like we already know you,” Mrs.Kim smiled.

“Oh he does, does he?” You teased,looking at Namjoon as he bashfully hid his grin behind his hand.

“Now, come in, you two,” his momsaid suddenly, leading the way inside. “How was the trip?”

“It was good,” Joon told hisparents. “Quick. It’s amazing how little I make it out here when it’s soclose,” he frowned slightly.

“You’re here now, though,” his dadsaid as he patted his son’s shoulder. “How do you like Ilsan so far, y/n?”

“I like it a lot,” you assuredwith a smile. “I’m excited to tour the city a little bit. It’s very prettyhere. And the people seem nice.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon agreed, his eyeswidening. “We already met a sweet older couple on the bus. They thought we madea beautiful couple,” he laughed, as you shook your head with a smile,both of you still in disbelief of being mistaken as a couple. Namjoon’s dadsmiled widely at that.

“Well, you do,” Mrs. Kim confirmed.“A very beautiful couple.” Joon quickly shook his head as you blushed.

“Mom—“

“You two go get settled and thenI’ll cook us some lunch, ok? You sister will be here shortly,” she toldNamjoon. “You know where your room is, and I’ve prepared the guest room fory/n, but, perhaps you want to share a room?”

Namjoon quite literally choked ashe shook his head. “No, that’s ok,” you smiled. “I’ll take the guest room,thank you.”

“Mom,” Namjoon finally sputteredout.

She looked at him with wide eyes.“What? I’m not naive.” Namjoon stared at her questioningly. “If you want toshare a room, we’re ok with that.”

“Mom, we’re just friends,” hesaid, making his mom look at him in surprise. “We’re friends,” he gesturedbetween the two of you.

“Ha!” Mr. Kim laughed out loud.

“Sure, sweetie,” she smiled at youboth. “Go get settled.”

His parents walked out of theliving room to the kitchen, leaving you and your best friend standing thereawkwardly. “What the fuck?” You whispered, making Joon chuckle.

“I have no idea,” he said as heturned to face you.

“Do they think we’re together?”You asked with shock lacing your tone. Namjoon shrugged, making you look at himwith wide eyes. “Joon,” you whined.

“I’ll set them straight, don’tworry,” he assured you, making you sigh. Namjoon pulled you into him for a hugas you sighed into his chest.

“I was already nervous to meetthem, and now they think we’re a couple,” you complained as you wrapped yourarms around the comforting man’s waist.

“I honestly don’t know where theygot the idea that we’re a couple,” he said as you literally stood in the middleof his home holding each other comfortingly.

Pulling away to look at him, youflashed a teasing grin. “Maybe because you talk about me so much,” you giggled.

“Don’t,” he warned as he pulledyou back into his embrace. You continued to chuckle into his chest.

“I like them,” you smiled as heheld you. Looking up at him, you were met with his excited grin.

“Yeah?” He asked, his dimplespopping out. You nodded as he squeezed your body against him. “I’m glad.”

“Namjoon!” A younger girl’s voicesounded across the room, your best friend and you quickly separating to see hisyounger sister standing there with a grin.

“Hey!” Namjoon greeted cheerfully.“Come here,” he gestured for her to come to you both. “You remember y/n,right?”

“Of course,” she said as you bothsmiled and waved at each other before Namjoon pulled her into a hug. You hadmet his sister over FaceTime once and ended up talking to her for nearly 40minutes before Namjoon made you both cut the call off. “I thought you werebringing a friend, not y/n,” she said suggestively, looking up at her bother.

“Y/n is my friend,” heclarified with a confused look. She raised her eyebrows, nodding, however, notbelieving.

“It’s nice to meet youofficially,” you smiled at his sister, holding your hand out to shake.

Shaking your hand, she agreed witha big smile. “Wow,” she said looking at you. “You got yourself a looker,” shetold her brother, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Oh my god, we’re just friends,”he groaned.

“Uh huh,” his sister said as shemade her way to the kitchen, sporting a sly smile. He looked at you infrustration.

“We’re just friends,” he yelledout so his whole family could hear, making them all giggle, as your faceflushed with heat.

“I’m so sorry,” he looked at you,his lips remaining in the shape of a small smile, showing his amusement of thesituation.

Smiling, you shook your head.“It’s ok,” you assured. “It’s just kind of weird how everyone here thinks we’rea couple.”

He shook his head in disbelief ofeveryone’s perceptions of your relationship. “How come no one in Seoul evermistakes us for a couple? We’re practically still in Seoul, why would it be sodifferent here?” He complained. 

“There must be something in thewater here,” you joked as you reached for your bag. Namjoon chuckled as hegrabbed his bag and led you to the bedrooms.

“So, here’s the guest room,” hesaid as he opened the door and led you inside. Setting your bag on the bed,your eyes scanned the room. “My room is right across the hall,” he pointed. Yousimply nodded as a wicked smile overtook your face. “What?” He asked nervously.

Shaking your head nonchalantly,you tiptoed to the door, your grin growing. Namjoon suddenly caught on, rushingto stop you from entering his childhood room. He caught you in the hallwaybefore you could open his bedroom door, his arms wrapping around your waist,lifting you off the ground, your back pressed against his chest. You squealedin laughter as he sported an amused grin. “Just let me see your room,” you whinedas you squirmed in his arms.

You both didn’t realize yourlaughter had caught the attention of his family, who were standing down thehallway watching you both fondly.

“I will,” he assured. “On onecondition, though.” You hummed in acknowledgement, waiting for his terms. “Nomaking fun of me for whatever you find in there,” he whispered against yourear, sending tingles across your skin.

“You’re no fun,” you teased,making him sigh through a shy smile. “Joon, I promise,” you assured. At that,he set you down and that’s when he caught his family watching you out of thecorner of his eye. You noticed the surprise in his face and followed his gaze.Upon seeing them all smiling at you both, you suddenly felt shy, instinctivelytucking yourself into your best friend’s side for comfort, Namjooninstinctively pulling you in closer.

“We’re just friends,” he told themsternly before shoving you into his bedroom. As he shut the door behind him, hestarted ranting about his family and apologizing for you. However, you were toobusy looking at his childhood room to care about that.

Looking over the plushies thatadorned the walls and were scattered throughout the room, you smiled to yourself,thankful that this sweet man hadn’t changed from youth to adulthood. Walking overto his nightstand, you picked up a picture frame of him as a young boy, hislittle sister on his back. “Oh my god, Joonie, you were so cute.” You cut himoff mid rant, making him look at you with big adorable eyes and a small ‘huh?’You smiled at him as you held the picture frame up. “You have the same smile,”you cooed.

A bashful grin appeared on hisface as he looked down towards the floor. “You promised you wouldn’t make funof me.”

“I’m not,” you defended. “I’madmiring how freaking adorable you are.”

“Did you just say how adorable youare? As in how adorable I am? Presenttense?” You glared at his widely grinning face. “Is that what you said?” Hecontinued to tease.

“Just take the compliment andknock it off,” you giggled. He smiled bashfully, covering his mouth with hishands.

“Thanks,” he said quietly as helifted his eyes to meet your own fond ones. Setting the frame back down, yousaw the notebook laying on the table. As you reached for the notebook, Namjoonwas suddenly at your side, grabbing your wrist to stop you. “Please don’t,” hebegged. Looking at him, you cocked your head.

“What is it?” You smiledmischievously. He stared at you, silently pleading with you not to look at thenotebook. You gasped. “Old songs?” Your smile grew when he didn’t deny yourguess. “Babe, please let me read it, please,” you begged as he shook his head.“I promised I wouldn’t make fun of you,” you pouted.

“No,” he said as he took thenotebook off the table and held it above his head.

“Really?” You glared. “Holding itover your head? I’m not that short,” you complained, making him laugh.“Joon, I’m not gonna read it if you don’t want me to,” you told him sincerely.Looking into your eyes, he saw your sincerity.

He lowered his arm, holding thenotebook out to you. “No, it’s ok,” you smiled. “You don’t have to show me.”

“No, go ahead,” he assured you itwas ok as he placed the notebook in your palm. Your smile spread further acrossyour face, but you still waited for his go ahead. “I already show you everysingle song I write, no matter how shitty it is—“

“None of them are shitty—”

“Go ahead. I actually don’tremember what any of these lyrics are so we’ll read them together,” he smiledbashfully. Instead of taking the notebook from him, you instead crawled ontohis bed, laying on your stomach, propping yourself up on your elbows.

“Come on,” you patted the spotnext to you, Namjoon immediately plopping down next to you. He opened thenotebook and you both started reading the childish lyrics. They weren’t bad fora kid, but some of them were pretty silly, making you both laugh. Every once ina while, you pulled your eyes from the pages to watch Namjoon’s amusementdisplayed across his stunning features.

Eventually, you both started todoze off, both of you exhausted from staying up late in the studio the nightbefore. Namjoon was working tirelessly on the comeback, and you had brought himdinner and ended up crashing on his sofa.

When Namjoon’s father came in tocollect you both for lunch, he fell upon the scene of you curled into Namjoon’sside as he slept on his stomach, his arms protectively wrapped around yourshoulders. You were both lightly snoring, making his dad almost sad to wake youboth. He shook Namjoon’s arm until Joon stirred awake, his eyes immediatelyfalling on your sleeping form, tucked in tightly to his side. He could feel yourarm draped across his lower back, your legs wrapped around his own like a koalabear. Namjoon smiled contentedly before looking up to see his dad smilingfondly at the two of you. Namjoon’s cheeks flushed as his dad shook his head.“You’re just friends,” his dad said with a knowing smile. “I know, son.” Thetone in which he spoke, mixed with the smile he flashed, made Namjoon shove hisface in the bed in embarrassment. He felt as though his dad just ripped downevery wall Namjoon had ever built up, leaving him and his feelings bare, withnothing to hide behind anymore.

His dad gently patted Namjoon’shead. “Y/n is a good person to have, no matter what you two are to each other. Youboth are very lucky to have each other,” his dad said, smiling at his son.“Lunch is ready, so come and eat.” With that, he left the room, leaving Namjoonto deal with the butterflies that had just exploded in his chest at therealization that followed his dad’s words.

Reluctantly, he rolled away fromyou, tickling your nose to wake you up. Groaning, you pushed his hand away, buthe then just attacked your sides with his fingers. “Babe, stop,” you whined,your eyes fluttering open. Babe. He’d heard you call him that name amillion times before, yet this time it made his heart pound against his chest.

“Let’s go eat,” he said. Withthose words, you popped up, your stomach immediately growling in response.

“Food,” you whispered, Namjoonlaughing at you. He took your hand and led you out of the room to the kitchen.

As your sleepy forms stumbled intothe kitchen, Namjoon’s family all looked at you, his mom giggling a bit at yourand Namjoon’s puffy eyes. “Did you two get a good nap in?” She asked as she setthe final dish on the already full table. Namjoon nodded as he pulled out achair and sat in the one next to it, you sitting down in the chair he pulledout. The subtle action did not go unnoticed by Namjoon’s family as they allsilently swooned.

“Thank you so much for this meal,it looks amazing,” you bowed to Mrs. Kim, making her graciously smile at you,Namjoon affectionately smiling at you both.

“Why are you two so tired, anyway?”Namjoon’s dad asked you both as everyone dug into the food. Slurping down somenoodles, Namjoon spoke up.

“We were up late. I’ve beenworking on the album, and y/n was kind enough to hang out with me in thestudio,” he told them as he ate a bit more. His mom shook her head indisapproval.

“You need to stop working yourselfso hard, Namjoon. Working hard is one thing, but I’m worried you’re overdoingit.” Namjoon’s dad nodded in agreement. You stopped eating as you glanced atNamjoon to gage his reaction. This was a touchy subject for Joon, and you knewthat because you had attempted to tell him the exact same thing on severaloccasions.

“I’m not overdoing it,” hedefended calmly. “I’m just doing my job.”

“But rest is important,” Namjoon’sdad told him.

Namjoon nodded in acknowledgement.“I’m getting rest. My schedule is just different than most people.” Namjoonlooked at you to meet your gentle gaze, helping him to keep his aggravation atbay. “Trust me, I get rest. This one makes sure of that,” he gestured to youwith a laugh.

“Well we’re very thankful to youthen, dear,” his mother told you with a smile. “But who is making sure youget rest if you’re staying up with him all night in the studio?” She asked youbefore looking to Namjoon, making his body flood with guilt.

“Oh, no, I don’t usually stay upwith him. I’ll bring him food or just hang out for a bit, and then I go home beforeit gets too late. Last night was a rarity. He doesn’t usually let me stay toolong,” you looked at Namjoon gently. “He worries about me too much to let mestay up late,” you laughed. “I can sleep pretty much anywhere, and I think thecouch in his studio is just as comfortable as my bed, but he still insists I gohome to get a good night’s rest,” you explained with a smile. His family’s eyesbounced between you and a bashful Namjoon as you spoke. “I actually wish he’dlet me stay late with him more often,” you continued. “It’s inspiring to seehim work on something he’s so passionate about.” Namjoon’s sister pouted at yourwords, overwhelmed by how cute you two were, while his mother and father lookedat each other and smiled.

Namjoon caught on to his family’sreactions, groaning in response. “We really are just friends,” he said quietly,your cheeks heating up instantly, realizing how you just furthered theirsuspicion of your relationship.

“Mhmm,” his mom nodded. “You’rewhatever you say you are.” His dad nodded in agreement with his mother.

“You still don’t believe us, doyou?” Namjoon asked in defeat.

“We believe you,” Namjoon’s dadassured. “We believe that you thinkyou’re just friends.” You couldn’t help but giggle at his dad’s choice ofwords, making his dad point a finger at you with a wide smile. Namjoon chuckledas well, looking down at his plate as he placed a hand on the back of yourchair.

“Would it be so bad to be morethan just friends?” Namjoon’s mom quietly asked you both, just as you shoved abunch of food into your mouth. Joon looked over at you and chuckled fondly atyour full cheeks which might as well have been permanently painted red at thispoint. He found himself smiling like an idiot, utterly amused by you and yourcuteness.

“Ok, ok, let’s just eat,” Namjoontold them with a blush across his cheeks. You hid a smile with your hand as youswallowed the last of the food. Looking over to Namjoon, you were met by hisadoring gaze. Admiring the man you called your best friend, you couldn’t help butlet your mind wander over the possibilities if you ever did allow yourrelationship to venture into romantics. No, it wouldn’t be so bad.  

After finishing the meal, you,Joon, and his sister prepared to head out so they could take you on a shorttour of the city. With the weather still being a bit cold, Joon handed you a beanieto wear. Smiling, you took it, pulling it over your hair. Looking up at him, heflashed you a close-mouthed smile, his dimples popping out, as he looked at thetufts of hair sticking out wildly underneath the beanie. Reaching up slowly, headjusted the beanie, tucking your hair into it nicely. When he finished, henodded at you, leaving his hands on the sides of your face for a moment.

“Oh my god, just date already!”His sister yelled at you both as she walked outside, ready to leave. Both ofyour cheeks flushed red again as he quickly removed his hands from you. Youswiftly walked past him to head outside, pushing aside the butterflies thatwere now fluttering throughout your body.

As Namjoon and his sister escortedyou around, showing you their favorite spots, your interactions with Joon feltdifferent. For example, Namjoon often held your hand. It was never anythingthat concealed more meaning, but rather just a friendly display of affection.You both did love each other, but you weren’t in love… at least you didn’tthink so. Did everyone around you see something you both didn’t?

However, when he reached for yourhand to bring your attention to his favorite cafe, you felt a spark ignite wherehis skin touched your own, heat bursting in your chest, flowing throughout yourentire frame. You pulled your hand out of his grasp, almost scared of how itmade you feel, making him look at you with confusion and a bit of letdown. “Doyou want to go in?” He asked you as if you didn’t just have that awkwardinteraction. Nodding, the three of you walked towards the cafe.

Upon entering, you could seeexactly why Joon loved this cafe so much. It was cozy and modern. The woodenshelves full of books and albums that littered the walls gave it a verycomfortable vibe. You imagined a younger version of your best friend, cominginto this very cafe and feeling at home, surrounded by the experiences ofothers that had been put into words on a page and into the grooves of therecords.

“This place feels like you,” youtold him with a smile, making him blush under your adoring gaze.

After ordering, Joon’s sisterwaited at the counter for your drinks and desserts, while you and Joon found aseat next to the window. “I’m sorry if my family’s comments have been makingyou feel awkward,” he told you sadly, obviously feeling bad about it especiallysince you pulled your hand out of his. Quickly, you shook your head, placingyour hand over his in an attempt to let him know you didn’t feel awkward. Ifanything, you felt too comfortable with what the commentsinsinuated about your relationship “I just don’t know why they keep makingcomments.”

Looking down at your hand that washolding the back of his, you let out a mixture of a scoff and a laugh. “Joon,”you gestured at your hands. “You don’t know why? Really?”

Looking at your hands, pink tintedhis cheeks. Readjusting your hands, so they were palm to palm and your fingerswere intertwined, he smiled shyly. “What? This?”He asked teasingly as he squeezed your hand. “So now we’re a couple because wehold hands sometimes?”

“We call each other babe,” youtold him.

“Yeah, as like, a friend thing,”he justified. “We’re affectionate towards each other. That doesn’t make us acouple.”

Nodding, you agreed. “I know, butcan you at least see why peoplethink we are?” Sighing, he nodded.“As long as we know what we are though, then who cares what other people think,right?”

“But do we know what we are?” Heasked, slightly shocking you.

Suddenly, Joon’s sister appearedat the table, balancing three drinks and three desserts. you quickly removedyour hand from Namjoon’s to help her set the treats down. “Thanks,” she told youas you smiled at her. Noticing the heavy atmosphere between you and herbrother, she excused herself to the restroom. “I’ll, uh, be back in a few,” shesaid as she made her way across the room, looking back at you with a curiousgaze.

Locking your eyes with Namjoon,you chuckled. “She’s observant,” you noted, making him cock his head at you,waiting for an answer to his previous question. Sighing, you shrugged. “We’rebest friends, Joon.” He nodded in agreement.

“We are. But that doesn’t make us justfriends.” He looked back down at your hands which were no longerintertwined, but your fingers were playfully dancing together on the tabletop,making both of your lips turn up just the slightest bit.

“Have we ever been just friends?”You asked him, locking your gaze on his features to try to read what he wasfeeling.

He didn’t say anything, but youknew what he was telling you with his eyes. Both of you knew you were never just friends. There were other factorsat play when you met that kept you both from allowing yourselves to feel morethan friendship with each other. Timing was a big one. You were balancingschool and part time jobs and he was busy being the leader of a massivelypopular boy group. Another one was the fear you both had to let someone in. Itwas scary giving yourself to someone, putting your trust and faith into them.However, throughout your friendship, you let each other in anyway. He was theperson you trusted the most. You believed in him and you had faith in him. Andthe feelings were mutual.

“Ok, I tried to stay away, but mydrink is getting cold and I really want to eat my cookie,” Namjoon’s sisterwhined, sliding into the seat next to you. You laughed and pushed her drinktowards her.

“You’re fine,” you assured her.

“Did I give you enough time?” Sheasked you both, looking from you to her older brother. “Are you still justfriends,” she mocked Namjoon’s voice.

You both laughed in response,looking at each other to see how the other would respond. You shook your head,giving him the answer he needed. Reaching for your hand again, he tangled hisfingers with your own. “No,” he answered his sister, however, he was looking atyou, letting you know his words were for you. “We’re not just friends.”

[marvelsswansong]

I really hope I'm doing this right- I've never done a request before so please excuse me if I mess this up aaa,, but i would like to request Bucky x stark!reader with the song One More Night by Maroon 5 (it's one of my favourite songs it's so good) where the reader is Tony's sister and shes dating Bucky behind his back. Tony offers her a position to be assistant manager with pepper; she realises that she cant take on a job like that and keep dating Bucky but he really loves her and cant let go??

��> One More Night by Maroon 5

a/n: I’m so proud of this one

You couldn’t keep on doing this.

This was the only constant thought you had for the last few weeks, wrapped up in Bucky’s arms as the clock in the room kept ticking by. Pretending that you had no responsibilities or that you weren’t living a double life was easy when you were lying in his arms, and it was a fantasy that rudely hit you whenever he had to go on missions.

“You’re the love of my life, doll.” 

Your heart hurt every time Bucky said that, because then all you could think of was ‘only if you knew.’ If only he knew that you were a filthy liar, the sister of a man who viciously hated his guts, and a liar who had fallen hopelessly in love with a man she could never openly be with.

Your relationship with Bucky was built on lies. You never told him that you were related to Tony, only mentioning that you had worked for him once (which was somewhat true). You instead told him that you were a SHIELD agent, was an only child, and that your last name was Carter. 

The only thing that wasn’t untrue in your relationship with Bucky was just how much you loved him.

“I love you too.”

You’d whisper that to him, your heart breaking every time you uttered that sentence and saw the lovestruck grin Bucky gave you in return. His smile, his love, all his affection for you was not for you. 

It was for a fake you.

A you who was not a Stark.

And you had no else to turn to. It was a miracle that neither Tony or any of the Avengers had caught wind of this. You supposed it was a good thing that you had never met any of the Avengers before, preferring to keep to yourself and work for the Stark company overseas. 

It was killing you to lie to Bucky, but it was also killing you to lie to Tony. 

It killed you to tell your only family member, your own brother, that you were busy with work and not dating his number one enemy. It hurt to admit, but it was true. You knew what Tony would say if he found out.

“He’s a traitor.” He’d say, anger filling his eyes. Then Tony would look at you, the awful look of betrayal in his face, as he uttered the following words: “And you’re a traitor too, dating him when he killed our parents.”

Why was reality so cruel?

“You alright doll?” asked Bucky softly, snapping you out of your thoughts upon feeling your salty tears drop from your eyes and onto his skin. You turned around and stared up at him with a fake smile, wiping your tears away with your hand.

“Yeah! I just, um, am really tired from last night’s mission.”

Bucky smiled in relief.

“Oh, alright. Then we should really get some sleep, huh?” 

You let out a shaky breath and nodded.

“Good night Bucky.” you whispered, feeling his arms wrap around your waist once more.

He was out in a few minutes, leaving you alone to your thoughts once more.

‘I can’t keep on doing this. I need to leave him tonight.’

But those words were uttered too often but never followed through- you fell asleep, forgot about your problems for another day, finished up some general work for the company and kissed Bucky. You allowed yourself to indulge in what could never be by pretending that everything was fine. That you were just a simple girl who loved a simple boy.

But running away from your problems never worked.

Bucky was gone on a mission when you received a call from your brother out of the blue. Slipping on your cardigan, you walked out onto the balcony of your apartment.

“Hello?”

“(Y/n)! How is my favorite sister doing?” exclaimed Tony, his excited voice causing you to chuckle.

“I’m your only sister, jackass. Anyway, what’s up?”

“Right! So Pepper’s been swamped with some work lately and considering I haven’t seen you in forever and you’re stuck living away from home in a tiny apartment… I was wondering if you wanted to be an assistant manager?”

Your heart dropped.

You weren’t sure how you could get out of this one.

“I, uh, I’m flattered, Tony, but I-”

“Oh come on, (Y/n). I haven’t seen you for two whole years! And you know this is exactly the type of position you need. I promise you it pays well too…” trailed off Tony, teasing you.

You let out a deep breath and sighed.

“Okay Tony, I’ll take the position.”

“Great! I’ll send you the flight details to get to NYC in a few hours. See you soon, sis.”

You hung up and threw your phone across the room, where it landed with a loud thud on the floor. The reality of the situation hit you just then, that you had accepted a job offer from your brother.

Away from your home.

Away from Bucky.

And worst of all, this meant that Bucky would finally find out who you really were- a Stark.

‘You knew this day would come, (Y/n). Snap out of it.’

Tucking your phone into your back pocket, you suppressed your sobs and started to pack up your things. You had just finished packing your last piece of clothing when you heard the door to your apartment open, causing you to freeze.

“I’m home, doll, where are-”

Bucky stopped opening the door when he spotted you standing there, your hair a mess and your hands holding several suitcases. His smile dropped into a deep frown as you avoided his gaze.

“W-what’s going on?”

‘You have to do this, (Y/n). Break his heart and it’ll all be done.’

“I’m leaving you.”

The amount of pure devastation in Bucky’s face was enough for you to break down then and there, tears starting to pour out of your eyes.

“W-what? Why?”

You swallowed and looked up at him with a determined gaze, trying to maintain your composure.

“I-I don’t love you anymore. And I realized that I deserve better. So… I’m leaving you.” 

You started to walk out of the door, your bags in head, when Bucky’s hand wrapped around your wrist. You looked up at him to see his eyes darting across your face, analyzing you.

“You’re lying to me.” 

“N-no I’m not.”

Bucky’s devastated expression dropped into one of concern, his grip loosening as his voice turned soft.

“Yes you are, doll. Now can you calm down and tell me what’s really going on?”

That was the last straw.

“I-I can’t be with you anymore, Bucky. I’m not who you think I am.”

Bucky’s eyebrow furrowed in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“My last name is not Carter. I am a SHIELD agent but I mainly work for the Stark company… Aka my brother’s company.”

Realization passed through Bucky’s face as you dropped your bags onto the floor, the tears now overflowing.

“I’m a Stark, Bucky. I’m Tony Stark’s sister. That’s why I can’t be with you. I-I’m so, so, so sorry.”

Bucky stared down at the floor, the fire in his eyes now all burnt out.

“So… you lied to me.”

“Yes.”

“Do you even love me?” he asked, his throat feeling dry.

“Yes, yes I really do.”

That caused him to look up.

“I love you more than you can imagine, Bucky Barnes. That is the only truth I’ve told you this past few months. But now that I accepted a job offer in New York to work as my brother’s assistant manager, this… this is the best way to end things.”

You picked up your bags once more and mustered up a smile once more before leaning in and kissing Bucky on the cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky. I hope you can forgive me one day.”

You began to walk towards the door when Bucky stopped you.

“No.”

“What?”

Bucky took the suitcases from your hands and dropped them to the floor. He then took his hands and put them up onto your face, wiping your tears away with his fingers.

“No, you’re not leaving. Because I love you, (Y/n) Stark. I love you regardless of whether you’re a Carter or a Stark, because who you are as a person has not changed. A-and even if your brother disapproves of it-”

He rested his head against your forehead, breathing in your scent.

“I still love you. And I’d follow you anywhere.”

“B-but my job offer-” you started, dumbfounded. Bucky dismissed it with a shake of his head.

“I’ll move with you. We can sell this apartment and get a place somewhere near the Stark tower. And you can finally meet my friends and introduce me to Tony as your boyfriend.”

“R-really? You’d do that for me?” 

Bucky only smiled.

“I’d do anything for you, (Y/n) Stark.”

a/n: holy SHIT this was long. But um, I’m SO proud of this??? Like it was perfectly angsty and it fit the song so well. And I also love that it ended in fluff. Anyway, um, lmk if you enjoyed it in the comments below and sorry if there were grammar mistakes lol i wrote this in an hour and posted it unedited

-–> prompt list

regular taglist:  @wantyoubackpeter @platonic-plots @superwholockwannabe @rogers-car-dealerrr @xxmizzlexx @xdsockmonkey @princess-unicorn124

[hidewari]

Do you think Hide generally loves Kaneki or if It is some kind of bromance? I think it's romantic love just because it's makes more sense considering his actions then bromance but I'm seeing all these posts of 'HideKane fans are misunderstanding Hides 'confession' and I'm just so sad. I'm 100% sure it is romantic love...

@sweetgm2 said:I read tgre ch 148 and my major question is: What kind of love did Hide mean when he said he loves Kaneki? Does you know the Japanese raw meaning for that moment cause I’m fangirling so hard right now. Our son is back and as beautiful as ever and he is so pure in his devotion to Kaneki I’m just like askdksaksnsj

anonymous said:i like hidekane and all, but im kind of annoyed by the people screaming abt how gay it is and how canon their ship is bc hide said “i love him”, when suki ‘好き’ was used, not ai'愛’ or koi'恋’ or anything which p much strictly indicate romance. real talk if my boy hide got some romantic feelings for kaneki im happy as long as he is but like. it’s the s h i p p e r s im annoyed w yk. like pls dont give me long ass rants abt how u kno it’s romantic when i s p e a k japanese (not @ u just in general)

@gooodluckmode said:Hi! I was wondering if we knew what type of love hide said in that panel? I’ve been trying to find a post about it but havent been able to ;_;

anonymous said:French reporting here! In our translation they went by “parce que je l'aime” which is really as ambigous as the other… Sorry my language isn’t much of a help either 😅 That’s clearly not something you’d say to ‘just a friend’ but it doesn’t necessarily is romantic either… But this is reaaaaallyy affectionate for sure

anonymous said:Hey. Go read the comments on Hide’s wikipage. They’re pretty interesting. Also there is a few Japanese people down there, who have said that in the official manga, Hide did say because I love him. I believe the real, official Japanese scans was アイツの事好きっすもん (romaji: aitsu no koto sukissumon) and that directly translates to “because I love him”. According to those Japanese people. I’ve seen people say it was different in the Japanese official scan, I just thought I should share this.

and like nine other anons also asking about the same thing.

So, my initial reaction was that I thought it was just platonic. I didn’t really think that Ishida would pull something like this, to be entirely honest, so I just took it to mean that he loves Kaneki very strongly, perhaps more than even a friend, but not to a romantic extent, but my outlook has changed a bit now that I’ve looked into it more.

I’m gonna talk a bit about how the Japanese fandom seems to be perceiving this (since they speak the language, they’re probably the next best person to consult other than Ishida). I won’t mention my own interpretation on this post but I’ll make a post soon about what I personally think about this.

Firstly, @thatshamelessyaoishipper made a fantastic post on the subject here.

@ayumifey also brought my attention to a reddit post which was translating Japanese comments on 2chan. The contents of the post are very long so I’ll just paste a couple comments from the Japanese fandom and their translations here:

851 ：マロン名無しさん：2017/11/06(月) 21:46:33.00 ID:???.net まぁ好きっすもん���普通に友人としてだろw ヒデホモはさすがにないw (Translation: “Well, when he said '好き’ he probably meant just as a friend, lol. No way Hide is gay, lol.”) 

583 ：マロン名無しさん：2017/11/06(月) 21:13:48.40 ID:???.net 友情で好きとかは絶対言わん あんなホモホモしい会話で男の友情は感じんわ まあ腐はあれを友情とは感じるんだろうがな (Translation: “No way you would say '好き’ with a friend. That gay-sounding talk doesn’t feel like friendship between guys. Well, fujoshi (T/N: I’m guessing 腐 is short for 腐女子) probably feel that is friendship.”)

606 ：マロン名無しさん：2017/11/06(月) 21:16:08.60 ID:???.net 男同士で好きだなんて言わないんだよなぁ (Translation: “Yeah, you wouldn’t say '好き’ between guys.”)

618 ：マロン名無しさん：2017/11/06(月) 21:17:17.45 ID:???.net ヒデがホモじゃないって奴は友達に好きって言ってこいよ (Translation: “Those who are saying that Hide isn’t gay, go ahead and tell your friend '好き’.”)

630 ：マロン名無しさん：2017/11/06(月) 21:18:41.19 ID:???.net 「友達だから」でいいのになんでホモカミングアウトみたいなこと言っちゃうんですかね (Translation: “He could just have said 'Because he’s my friend’, so why is he talking like a gay coming out of the closet?”)

753 ：マロン名無しさん：2017/11/06(月) 21:32:56.70 ID:???.net ホモじゃない 愛してるだけ (Translation: "He’s not gay. He’s just in love with him.”)

Here were OP’s thoughts on the thread overall.

It’s true that 好き can used for a great variety of things - hobbies, food, etc - but when used with a person (eg. 君のことが好き) it generally carries romantic implications. It’s a common expression, yet I’ve literally never heard it used platonically between two male friends - if someone else has, I’d be interested so please let me know.

Obviously when it comes down to it, pretty much anything we read can be subject to some degree of interpretation (it’s not like we can look into the author’s mind). However, going by the number of posts complaining about whether this line means Hide is gay or not (for reference, the word “gay” / ホモ appears 112 times in this thread alone, most of it in relation to Hide), I would say that it’s pretty clear that the author intentionally went out of his way to phrase it so that it sounded like he was admitting to romantic feelings.

I think I also saw someone else who claimed to speak Japanese on one of @kirakira-tae‘s posts claim that Hide’s dialogue had heavily romantic implications but I can’t find the post anymore :s

Now, I have seen a couple Japanese people who still claim that the meaning is ambiguous, but it seems that the general consensus was that the dialogue had romantic undertones since it’s not something a man would generally say to another man, especially not a friend. I think this was definitely deliberate on Ishida’s part, so I think it’s safe to assume that Hide’s statement had romantic undertones, if not a right out confession.

I want to make a separate post about my take on Hide’s love for Kaneki because this got quite long and I sort of want to single out what I have to say about this since it’s slightly different.

[mikeshanlon]

goddd I cannot believe u have read iwwv u don't know me but for some reason we watch like.. the same shows and now books lol. anyway can I ask what were ur thoughts on the ending? like to me at least it was onvious Oliver had not done it and he wasn't gonna pull a unreliable narrator last minute (despite being an unreliable narrator) I'm talking abt the whole uhh James is a**** thing.. like what HAPPENS NEXT? is he w wren? also I feel so bad for meredith like girl love urself.. sry 4 the essay

omg yes taste!!!! Also no I’m dying to talk abt this novel so don’t apologize if anything im sorry bc I wrote way too much answering ur question LGRNLRGN

IF WE WERE VILLIANS SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT go read it if u haven’t it’s legendaric

Okay the ending!!!! AH!!!! Okay yeah so I think it’s clear Oliver did not do it, I think the ambiguity lies more whether or not James intentionally killed Richard or if it was an accident. Like, did he see Richard stumbling out in the woods hella intoxicated and think to himself that this was the perfect opportunity to get revenge for all the abuse and torture Richard had been terrorizing him with??? Did he lie to Oliver? Personally, I believe James that it was an accident… of sorts. I don’t think James set out with the intention to kill Richard at all. But Richard was goading him and fighting him and after the buildup of cruelty and tension between them over the past few months, Richard be a homophobic dick and calling James and Oliver qu*er and prodding at the most important relationship in James’ life struck a nerve. So when Richard wanted to keep fighting and hurt him again he was like fuck this and he hit Richard too hard with the hook and that in tandem with Richard being drunk caused Richard to fall and die. And, like the others, James felt awful but there was a sort of sick sense of relief.

(Also, I’m not exactly sure Oliver counts as an Unreliable Narrator. I mean he is certainly keeping some things from that detective guy but, and I was reading something from M.L. Rio about this, like he’s literally just oblivious and dumb as fuck sometimes LKGNLRGLKNRG. So idk how often he’s intentionally Unreliable but I also get what you mean)

Anyways I’m totally a believer that James is alive bc despite enjoying dark stories im like okay but I need a happy ending LGKNLKRGlkenlgneg. Like c’mon they never found the body……….. A metaphorical death and shedding of his past life bc he blames himself for Oliver taking the fall is like the MOST tragic hero Shakespearean shit ever like it just works so well!!!!!! The part where Oliver describes the last time James visited him in jail…

“Oliver I’m begging you,” he said. “I can’t do this anymore.” When I refused again, he pulled my hand across the table, kissed it, and turned to leave. I asked where he was going and he said, “Hell. Del Norte. Nowhere. I don’t know.” (343).

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd. God. Anyways I think that was very telling of his plans. Hell (for “committing suicide”, moreso for all of his wrong doings). Del Norte is the beach that him and Oliver slept on that one night and so I feel like that place holds a lot of significance for them, but it’s a place only those two know the significance of. So, I like to think he ran away there and started a new life. He wrote that letter with the disjointed Pericles monologue I think to hint to Oliver that he was at Del Norte, if he wanted to find him, because even though his “death” was a self-punishment for ruining Oliver’s life, he still cares for him a lot and doesn’t want to be without him. Like a whole monologue about the sea????????? The fact that he literally said the monologue to Oliver while they were at Del Norte?? “To give my tongue that heat to ask your help; / Which if you shall refuse, when I am dead, / For that I am a man, pray see me buried.” LIKE WHAAAAAAAAAAT god !!!! Also water is gay<3 and in my heart Oliver goes and finds him and they like work through shit and are together.

Anyways I don’t really think he’s with Wren. Their relationship during senior year was always sort of ambiguous to me…. Like they definitely got super close, they probably were romantically involved in some capacity (since other characters like Alexander who is much more perceptive were like Oliver how did it take you this long to notice LRGNRGNK) though idk if it was like the Encompassing Love Affair Oliver thought it to be bc he’s oblivious and jealous. And also like James was very much enamored with Oliver so idk. (EDIT i just remembered they slept together LMAO but i think my point still stands) In the epilogue Wren is in London and is a recluse and doesn’t reach out to any of the Villains which like. Good for her LRGNRLG even though I hated Richard I can’t imagine like how much of a toll that took on her to see her cousin die and all their friends be like uh yeah we should let him die and then have to keep up a lie like… even though she agreed Richard was awful that has to be so heart wrenching (badumtss) and life ruining. So I think she especially wouldn’t want to be with James seeing as he essentially led Richard to fall into the lake, though I’m not sure if she knows that or not.

And Meredith!!!! Like I’ll be real sometimes she frustrates me but I think she’s also SUCH an interesting and realistic character (which is something I love about this novel, all the characters are interesting to me and I like how the female characters are portrayed.... like i LOVE Fillipa she is such a bad ass bitch but again she’s not just like. Expected to always be strong and clever like she’s got feelings too. Anyways love her). As I said before I was perusing through the author’s tumblr a bit and ppl were like “omg why did Meredith go through all the male friends” like BYEEE literally feeding into the stereotypes that made her feel insecure and weak… (Also again, they’ve known each other for four years… so its not that insane lmao). I think Meredith’s relationship with her sexuality and beauty is very interesting and relatable for a lot of women (I mean I am not. Like a seductive femme fatale like she is but LGKNKRGN). On one hand she is definitely a multifaceted person who is more than her sexuality, on the other, she’s constantly Literally Cast by Gwendolyn in sexualized roles and seen as sexualized by her friends/bf (Richard) and constantly told her worth in and out of the theatre is her body. Like there is an interesting duality about the power she possesses with her sexuality but also the extreme insecurity that is bred by being constantly sexualized and this struggle of like knowing she has worth outside of her body but also sort of … not in the eyes of others. That scene where they’re doing those exercises of their strengths and weaknesses really Hit. Anyways yes Meredith love urself queen… get a hot respectful gf… become a powerful successful legend…..

Related-ish sidenote, obviously I like James and Oliver together the most though I will say Meredith and Oliver’s relationship was interesting though ultimately unhealthy…. Like one of the aspects I like about their relationship is Oliver respects Meredith and when he realizes he is falling into that idea that Meredith is this super sexualized person he’s like hold awn that’s shitty of me… But also I think the fact of the matter is that their relationship was catalyzed by shitty stuff,,, like lust and the need for revenge. Like I honestly don’t really think they would’ve gotten together if not for the extreme animosity with Richard and the adrenaline of like that whole show run and more particularly That Night…. It feels like they got together because they were drunk and they’re attractive, which like yeah fine valid, but also, subconsciously, to be like fuck you Richard. Like, guess what I’m with the guy who you’re constantly saying doesn’t matter. And also seeking comfort and validation when their most important people are not valuing them (Richard being literally fucking awful to Meredith, James sort of pushing Oliver away—again I think subconsciously was sort of a revenge jealousy type thing where Oliver is with the person that James doesn’t really like and makes not amazing comments about being promiscuous). And then their relationship I think keeps going because like. Wow grief is a bitch and they want some comfort. Meredith is drawn to Oliver because he’s one of the only people who values her for more than just a sexual object which like is What She Deserves but their relationship is like a mess of sex and guilt and Oliver is in love with James (the parts where Meredith drags Oliver for caring more about James… iconic as she should! Like when Oliver is like sorry James is visiting me I’m not coming or when she’s like are you more jealous of him or me when they kissed for that scene….. OOP!). Anyways idk if that makes sense but I find Oliver and Meredith’s relationship interesting bc it’s not like… the worst unhealthy relationship ever or anything and I think there is genuine care and love/attraction there between them but like Oliver is never going to totally Be What Meredith deserves especially because like… he loves James more. Also the part where Meredith slaps Oliver when he gets out of jail and he’s like yeah I deserve that is so GLKNRglkenrgnrg to me.

Anyways I probably have more thots but wow. This is long. Sorry LGRNLKRGNng

[punkscowardschampions]

Chloé & Buster

Chloé: You coming to Abi's party tonight? Buster: No Chloé: Why not! Gonna be such a laugh Buster: It's not really any of your business, is it, Chlo, but let's be honest even if I was in the country, we both know it wouldn't be a laugh Buster: Abi's probably fucked up already Buster: And that's only one of the reasons why it's a no Chloé: Ooh, someone's moody! Chloé: Unlucky you're out of town babes 😂 Chloé: Family time, is it? Yawn Buster: Fuck off, Chlo Buster: There are other things to do besides annoying my sister, you should try it Chloé: Not in her inbox, am I? Chloé: 😷 Chloé: As if you're doing anything worth talking about Buster: Neither am I so how in the hell would I know, like? Buster: Why do you care so much still what I'm doing? Buster: Sort it out, babe. The who ain't you, but there's plenty of lads in your postcode who would Chloé: Just inviting you to a bash don't get wild about it Chloé: Never see you out these days, not YOUR postcode anymore, no? Chloé: Fake girlfriend still, is it? 💔 Buster: And why do you reckon that is, babe? Buster: Fault's yours not mine. Stop inviting me out, yeah? I'm not here for it. Or you Buster: I'm not sorry I'm busy with my actual girlfriend Chloé: What have I done! Chloé: Nothing but nice to you, and your sister, for that matter Buster: If that's what you think I ain't got the time to change your mind Buster: Nor write you a list, like Chloé: 🙄 The theatrics! Chloé: So, what's she like then? Must be something if you're willing to leave here for it Buster: Draw your own conclusions Buster: I'm not talking about her to you Chloé: Cute 💘 Chloé: Though you don't need to talk that game to me Chloé: Might be able to convince a girl outside the postcode that you're #loyal babes but no need or way that'll wash with me 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: Maybe the reason I had to go out of the postcode was less to do with me and more about the type of girl there, you ever thought on that? Chloé: Omg Chloé: Admitting you can't handle us? Buster: You wish Buster: It wasn't a compliment, babe Chloé: Whatevs Chloé: You're looking good anyway Buster: Course I am Buster: Is there anything else I can actually do for you or what? 'Cause there's plenty my girlfriend can do for me if we're done here Chloé: If you wanna make me jealous Chloé: so many better ways to go about it Buster: Please Buster: Don't flatter yourself, honestly Chloé: Who's this??? Chloé: [Rio's post] Buster: Your subtlety is astounding Buster: Your sleuthing needs some work though, clearly Chloé: It's on my feed, I ain't ashamed Buster: Give it a double tap and move on, babe Chloé: Yeah, don't think she's your type Chloé: Maybe your sister's, she's always commenting hmm Buster: Like you know anything about mine or my sister's type of girl Chloé: Getting warmer, am I? Buster: In the sense you're getting more desperate, yeah Buster: If this turns you on that's an issue for you to worry about, not me Chloé: Please Chloé: it's fun isn't it Buster: No Buster: If I tell you who she is will you go away? Chloé: Sure! Buster: She's one of my many cousins, alright Chloé: Oh Chloé: That explains it Chloé: Disappointing but don't need to tell you that Buster: Off you go then Chloé: No Chloé: I thougt you were going to tell me who your girlfriend is Buster: Why the fuck would I do that? Chloé: Why would I care who your skanky cousin is? Buster: 'Cause you're obsessed with me apparently Buster: And don't call her that Chloé: Like you care babes Buster: I obviously do or else I wouldn't waste my breath telling you to shut up Chloé: You've said worse about all of 'em Chloé: Oh my Gosh Chloé: Just realised who she is Buster: I can whatever I want. Who the fuck are you? Buster: Congrats Chloé: She is, isn't she? Chloé: The one everyone's slept with Chloé: How shaming Buster: It'd sound more sincere if you hadn't slept with most of Chelsea, babe Buster: One rule for you, yeah? Chloé: I live here, I didn't fly in for the experience Chloé: Why was she even here? Buster: Maybe if you upped your own game the lads wouldn't need her to fly in Chloé: How can you talk about your own family like that you sicko Buster: 😂 Buster: You do have a moral code of some sort then? Buster: Take it up with your boy besties, they're the ones who like to chat about it Chloé: More than you do, clearly Chloé: Doesn't that just make you want to die? How mortifying Buster: It makes me wanna kill them Buster: Thanks for asking Chloé: As if you're any better 😂 Buster: I don't sleep with any girls they care about, do I? Chloé: Yeah right Chloé: Family man now, are you babes? Chloé: Take it up with her if you're so close now Buster: Whatever, Chlo Chloé: More touchy about this than you were with your own sister Chloé: Guess there was no risk of all your mates getting on her Buster: Exactly Buster: And you've missed your chance too so no worries there Chloé: You're so vile Buster: Like you'd be above fucking my sister? Okay babe Chloé: 🤢 Chloé: I'd sooner drink bleach Chloé: thank you Buster: I'm sure she would too Buster: Shame there was none in my glass that night at the party, like Chloé: Sorry to disappoint whatever incest kink you've got going on Chloé: but nah babes Buster: Why? You ain't been sorry about being a let down in any other way Chloé: Shut up Chloé: I was wasted and you're not giving a second chance Buster: If it was only how unfuckable you are, I'd let you off Chloé: You certainly managed Chloé: Trust me Buster: As I've only got your word on it, I have to Chloé: How else do you expect me to prove it? Chloé: DNA test? Buster: I don't care Buster: It happened and it ain't again. End of story Chloé: Whatever you say Buster: There ain't nothing else to say Buster: Unless you've got something you desperately wanna add? Chloé: Just talking to James Chloé: he reckons you're well weird about your cousin Buster: Says the lad who told me in graphic detail what fucking her was like? Okay Chloé: Didn't do it for you? Chloé: Poor boy 😂 Buster: But I'm the vile one, sure Chlo Chloé: Calm down, it's only bants Chloé: You're sooooo serious now Buster: Serious about how much I want you to fuck off out of my inbox Chloé: Can't handle it now or what? Chloé: There's a reason, I know Buster: I ain't never wanted to handle you, babe Chloé: Obvs not Chloé: not related to you am I Chloé: how country 😂 Buster: Fuck off Buster: Excuse me if you slagging off my family isn't a huge turn on for me, like Chloé: Why's it matter Chloé: Not gonna say it to their face am I Buster: You literally did say shit to my sister though Buster: Already forgotten or what? Chloé: No I never Chloé: Mads tagged her Chloé: then everyone else did Chloé: it wasn't me Buster: Back in the day in was all you though Chloé: She say that did she? Chloé: I was the only one who even tried to be her friend Chloé: not my fault she was in love with me Buster: Bullshit Buster: You ain't her type either, babe Buster: Get over yourself Chloé: Hmm not how I remember it Chloé: not like you were paying any attention so what would you know tbh Buster: I've heard it from her now Buster: Not just in Dublin seeing my girlfriend, as you've already worked out Chloé: Thrilled for you both, I'm sure Buster: Act like it then Buster: Leave me alone Buster: And it goes without saying, my sister as well Chloé: Well you see I can't Chloé: Hate to burst your bubble, of course Buster: Yeah you can Chloé: I really can't Chloé: As fun as this has been I have some news Buster: Go on then Buster: Sooner you've said it, sooner you can go Chloé: Ha Chloé: I'm pregnant Buster: What the fuck, Chlo? Even for you that's low Buster: Still going to Abi's party though, yeah? Buster: Bullshit Chloé: God, I can still have fun and A GLASS Chloé: beside the point Chloé: [pics of tests] Buster: Well yeah, you can do whatever you want until you prove it's my kid Chloé: How do you expect me to do that Chloé: and I know it's yours, thank you very much Buster: You might, but I don't Buster: And forgive me if I don't automatically take your word for it after all the shit you've said and done, like Chloé: Well if you weren't being so difficult Buster: Me? Buster: Fuck that Buster: Get a prenatal DNA and get back to me or wait until the kid is born, do it and get back to me Chloé: Wow Chloé: Class act Chloé: That's going to require a bit of cooperation, babes Buster: All you need is a blood sample or mouth swab Buster: I'll give you either Chloé: Done this before, have you? Chloé: Jesus Christ Chloé: it's a child, your child Buster: Not as far I know yet Buster: You having this convo with James and the rest of them too, are you? Chloé: Fuck off Chloé: No Chloé: and don't you dare tell ANYONE Buster: Like I want them knowing about it Buster: Whether it's my kid or not Buster: I've gotta tell my parents though so Chloé: You can tell them Chloé: Mine don't know yet Buster: You should tell them too Chloé: Will you tell them with me? Buster: Okay Chloé: Yay good Chloé: When are you back? Buster: I was gonna skip school but Buster: When were you planning on telling them? Chloé: I don't know, doesn't matter Buster: Of course it does Buster: You need to decide what you're gonna do Buster: They can help you Chloé: What? Chloé: I know what I'm doing Chloé: I've already been shopping with the girls Buster: I thought you didn't want anyone to know? Chloé: I don't want YOU telling people it could be anyone else's Chloé: when it couldn't, how rude Buster: So you've told your friends but not your parents? Buster: Come on, Chlo Buster: Have you even been to the doctors or anything? Chloé: Yeah they'll just fuss and wanna know things Chloé: how cringe Chloé: No point yet Chloé: I think Chloé: it's like 12 weeks scan, yeah? Buster: You can get DNA done at 9 weeks Buster: I've just looked it up Chloé: How long's it been? Buster: If you don't know that how are you so sure it's my kid? Chloé: I haven't slept with anyone else for ages Chloé: if you must know Buster: It is kind of worth knowing, yeah Buster: Fuck's sake Chloé: Don't be funny with me Chloé: I just know alright Buster: Don't tell me how to be Buster: I asked you after if you needed me to take you to the pill and you said no Chloé: Well I thought I was fine, obviously Buster: Well, now neither of us are, obviously Chloé: I'm good Chloé: Drama Chloé: It'll be nice, if you let it Buster: Nice? Buster: Grow up, Chlo Chloé: Well I'm not getting rid of it Chloé: you've done it now, deal with it Buster: Like I said, when you prove to me that it's my baby, I will Chloé: Fine, I will Chloé: you'll see Chloé: anyway, I'm going out, gotta get my nails done for tonight Buster: I'm glad you've got your priorities in order, babe Buster: Jesus Christ Chloé: What? Chloé: I can't do anything, I told you I've got loads of stuff for it Chloé: keeping it at Lindseys Buster: Don't go the party Buster: That's what you could do Chloé: I'm not going to sit at home on a saturday night Chloé: i'm not 40 Buster: Clearly. 40 year old's don't tend to get knocked up accidentally as a rule Chloé: Menopause'll do that to you babe Buster: That's not the point Buster: We need to talk about this you can't just ruin my life and then go do a toast with your friends Chloé: Me ruin yours? I didn't impregnate myself Buster: You're ruining your own by not thinking this through Chloé: I'm not a baby killer Chloé: sorry about it Buster: I don't even have words for how stupid that sounds Chloé: I can't believe you're trying to make me get an abortion Buster: I'm not trying to make you do anything except use your brain Buster: What about uni? Are you still gonna go or what? Buster: Are you gonna get your own place or stay with your mum and dad? Chloé: Wow, 20 questions! Buster: This isn't a game Buster: Fucking hell Chloé: I'm having a baby Chloé: that's my plan Buster: And then what? Chloé: Be a mum? Buster: You know how hard that's gonna be, yeah? Chloé: I think I'll manage babe Chloé: I'm not an idiot Buster: You're an idiot if you think it's easy Chloé: How hard can it be Buster: Very Buster: Babies can't do fuck all and kids aren't much better Chloé: Yeah, I know how to feed it and change it Chloé: Abi's got a baby sister she's so cute Buster: Good for her Buster: I bet she ain't doing the night feeds while her parents sleep, is she Chloé: Whatever Buster: Don't fucking whatever me, Chlo Chloé: Don't you talk to me like that Buster: I can't talk to you right now if you're gonna be like this Chloé: That's good because you're making me late Buster: Fine Buster: Bye then Chloé: 👋

[artsaveslivesinternational]

Artist Sherry Dooley

Artist Sherry Dooley

Sherry Dooley, 50, is from Portland, Oregon in the USA. Sherry is a visual artist and had this to say about her chosen submission subject and why she was motivated to address cultural and racial stigma:

I’m submitting a new series I’m doing regarding “the Wall” Donald Trump keeps insisting he will build, in hopes to keep us “safe” from Mexicans.  I don’t agree with it, I find it offensive to our neighbours, and racially motivated.  Racial profiling at it’s finest.  After his degrading comments regarding the Mexican people being criminals and rapists – his wall will only hold the US citizens hostage, while making our friends our enemies.

I’m a full time professional artist.  After attending the Women’s March On Washington, I become inspired to not only paint “pretty” paintings – but to make a statement.

My theme is Cultural Stigma/Racism.

Can you tell us a little about yourself?

I’m a mother, a sister, a daughter, and a woman. I’m a fifty-year-old artist and wanderer, with scars. Born and raised in Oregon, I tend to lean far left, if I must use a label. Recently moved back to Portland Oregon after five years in New Orleans.

What is your artistic/creative background?

As a child, my mother put me in various after-school creative functions. I’ve always loved to draw, but never mastered it, and it doesn’t really matter. I consider myself “self-taught” – with no fancy, over priced art degrees. I started painting in 1998. Found wood, and old house paint, anything I could find, I would use. I’ve continued to paint ever since. Ninety percent of the time my art has allowed me to be self-employed.

What motivated you to deal with your chosen submission subject?

I chose Cultural Stigma/Racism because it seems to be a topic/situation that can be erased, with just the right amount of effort. Preconceived notions about a certain population, I believe, stems for just not knowing, and maybe a refusal to know. But once you learn something, once you’re forced to see someone, something in a new light, you cannot un-see it. Un-know it. We all have to start somewhere. I did. Why can’t others?

  Modern Frida: It’s Your Wall. I’m Free, Are You? 16x20x1.5 Acrylic/Mixed Media Cradled wood panel. by Sherry Dooley

Modern Frida: Misguided Finger Pointing 16 x 20 – Acrylic/Mixed Media on cradled panel wood. by Sherry Dooley

What is your process when creating?

The process, where does the process truly begin? Usually an incident, a situation, which has stirred up my thoughts, and has bled into my emotions, then the process, has begun. Sometimes without me even realising it. The process has begun. Never just a thought…emotion is the fuel of the fire I need to create.

Who are you influenced by within your artistic discipline?

I believe the question should be…”Who and What am I influenced by…” When I first began a very primitive style of painting women, friends influenced me. Body shapes and hairstyles, pretty scenes, Goddesses and nature. It evolved from there. As cliché as it is, once I was introduced to Frida Kahlo’s work and life story, I drew inspiration from everything Frida. Not just her self-portraits, in fact very little of her creative ability moved me, it was more about her life and situations that would inspire a piece of me to be brave. Brave in the sense of being vulnerable and puking my sorrows onto the canvas or wood for the world to see. I’ve evolved over the last 19 years, and no longer sob into a piece of art. I can see passed myself and create a bigger image, which isn’t just my little world, but something others can relate to.

Who inspires you in general?

Injustice and women.

What causes and world issues are you passionate about, campaign for, volunteer for…?

There are so many – but if I were to be passionate about each and every cause, I wouldn’t be able to get up in the morning. I don’t know why, but homelessness hits me hard. Not so much creatively, but more in an “Action Required” stance. So I feed the homeless when I can. I rally others to do the same. I’m moved and feel obligated to create pieces that are slick with emotion for women who have been sexually trafficked. I’ve been there…and I paint what I know and feel. My most recent cause is immigration. Just in the last couple of years, the word “illegal” has replaced human being. Dehumanising at the very least. Now we have a war against those that have less. Those that are searching for a better life. Those that do American’s dirty work and are vilified for it. Those that might have an accent. Those that might not be white enough. I’m getting all jazzed up as write this…it just pisses me off that in 2017, I’m having to experience and see first hand an earlier and uglier time in our country, today. RIGHT NOW? So, in honour of those that are being targeted and shit on by those that believe it’s okay to do so, I’m painting those women. I’m painting black women. Arab women. Asian women. Light-skinned women. All Women. All American women. Sorry, but American women are not all blondes with blue eyes. That is not the norm – and will never be.

What do the statements “art saves lives” and “art creates change” mean to you?

I read both statements at face value. Period.

Have your artistic and creative outlets saved your life in anyway and do you think your message within them could help create change in the world?

Yes. Art saved my life. Once I was able to escape the life of commercial sex trafficking and a nasty meth habit, I needed something, anything, to feel good. Painting felt right, it felt good. Stimulating that old brain chemistry with a new vice, art. When I sold my first piece, it was validating a wounded child, whom felt worthless. Yes, art saves lives…and can rebuild lives. Will my art ever make a change in the world? I think it has – as more people get to know me and what I create, they also get to know my past life. With that said, the stigma of a prostituted woman slowly shifts from what they had believed. It changes from judgement and idea of choice, to one of compassion and understanding. In my eyes that’s huge. Seeing “throw-away” women in a new light, shedding judgement, and opening the heart. Yep, that’s huge.

What are your present and future goals for your art?

I want to continue down my new path of making a statement for women and those that are oppressed in America. Stand up against division, and stand taller than any fucked up wall. Build it. It won’t stop people from connecting and loving/embracing each other.

Sherry Dooley Nostalgic Folk Artist

Sherry Dooley Nostalgic Folk Artist

Sherry Dooley Nostalgic Folk Artist

Sherry Dooley Nostalgic Folk Artist

If you would like to know more about Sherry Dooley and her work please follow these links:

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[contact-form] Visual artist Sherry Dooley addresses racism and cultural stigma in the USA Sherry Dooley, 50, is from Portland, Oregon in the USA. Sherry is a visual artist and had this to say about her chosen submission subject and why she was motivated to address cultural and racial stigma: