#if you think about it it makes too much sense
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For real tho, you can almost skip the first two years of computer science if you've done homestuck. The only thing stopping you from doing that is the fact that no one would understand you if you told them that you are homestuck certified.
My partner made a terrible comment about Minecraft's bundles that I think tumblr would appreciate.
So, you know how you need to remove all the items in the order they appear in up until you reach the one you actually want, right? Which- Gets super messy and ends up with 300 inventory items dropped on the ground while you're digging in your bag to get that goddamn pot.
Well. Uh. They noted, with their very limited knowledge on it, that uh...
they literally reinvented homestuck's terrible captchalogue's systems, huh
#btw they're using a basic data structure called a stack. you can only add and remove items Pringles style#It makes sense that a game that probably didn't think too much about how a bunch of items need to be stored would use that#Andrew Hussie on the other hand just found it funny#that's actually reductive his webcomic was once practically a tabletop game where computers are capable of manipulating reality#and it's pretty clever that in that reality some things aren't just represented by data structures... they actually ARE#homestuck
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People's assumptions about you
This reading is about the assumptions people in general have about you. Which might not be true to how you really are.
This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.
Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐
About me | Masterpost
Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)
LILAC
• You have a quiet, mysterious vibe that makes people think you have been through a lot. This kind of being experienced creates a sense of knowing, like nothing can faze you, you have seen enough, the good, the bad, everything in between about life.
• They also assume you wield your power well, you're used to it and you can use it to seduce people or to deter them from getting closer. There's a contradictory feeling about you, on one hand, you seem intense and seductive, on another, you're aloof and impartial. So people think that you just like to appear attractive for the sake of being attractive, not to attract anything or anyone in particular.
• Those who are lucky enough to get into your inner circle will be treated differently, with generous care and intuitive understanding.
• They could think you're from a religious background. Or someone with mixed races and have a diverse religious background.
• They could assume you come from money or are well taken care of.
• You seem to be good at learning, fast thinker, intelligent. No matter how you actually think about your intelligence, people will assume you're smart and don't have trouble solving problems. Maybe you talk fast, have knowledge about a wide variety of subjects or people usually see you learning, researching something, especially about some niche or taboo subjects. This also contributes to your mysterious aura.
• Some could assume you like casual relationships. You revel in social interactions, you can chat anyone up and have some friendly banters with them. You enjoy hanging out with people but you don't want to be involved too deeply with anyone. Your goal in interactions with people is usually to learn something new, to satiate your curiosity. Again, the thought of getting close to you, being considered more special than the rest by you, is a great ego boost to some people.
• You're good at hiding your more unsavoury side. People generally think you're calm and worry-free but some will have a little suspicion that you're hiding your negativity, it's like they can't believe there's actually anyone who has no worry or problem. Especially if you're being anxious about the future, feeling lonely or lost, you won't show it. The people who suspect about this will likely want to dig deep to get to see your problems.
GRAPEFRUIT
• You have a brilliant aura that makes people automatically assume you have it easy in life. Like someone who has been treated so well by life that they are so positive and lighthearted.
• Enthusiastic and mischievous, people will assume you're younger than your actual age.
• You have no problem convincing someone, pulling someone to your side purely by talking and debating. People can see your cleverness and humour clearly.
• People think you have a fast lifestyle, always on the move, rarely at home, never sitting still, don't settle down. They assume you have an extensive travel backlog. Some will want to give you advice about settling down, having a stable family life. Maybe they think you're too young or have too many things going on for you to consider those topics seriously, but you will, in the future.
• Based on your cheerful or carefree demeanour, some will guess you are not well disciplined or are spoiled. They think your upbringing was a little loose and lacked proper guidance, resulting in a freestyle way of living.
• Maybe the way you dress or the things you use will make people think you're careless about money or have a lot to spare. You like shopping, hoarding material possessions and are just generous with your money in general.
• Some could assume you're too easy-going and simple-minded, despite your expression of cleverness, like someone who is easy to be taken advantage of, gullible. Some would want to protect you because of that, others would want to take advantage of that.
• You seem to be well liked and have no trouble getting a date. If you're single, they will just assume that you probably don't want to commit, prefer to stay single by choice, if you want to, people would jump at the chance to date you.
• Some would think you prefer older people for friendship and connections in general, you like to be spoiled and taken care of. But they also can sense that you treasure your friendships greatly, those who can stick to you through thick and thin will be revered and respected by you.
• Some can see you easily getting stressed, over exerting or are afflicted with some illness frequently. They might think to themselves that's the consequences of living a fast life, or you're going through some stressful situations that you don't want to talk about.
PEAR
• Maybe your reputation precedes you. People could form assumptions of you based on what they heard about you, not necessarily from interactions with you. They think that you're really a go-getter, ambitious, if not sometimes ruthless. You act on your impulses and zero in your targets, you get what you want, one way or another. They could feel that being the target of your gaze would equal to being a prey. You could give off a no-nonsense and efficient vibe that won't tolerate misbehaviour and disrespect.
• But they also feel that you put great value on friendship and community bonds. You would be a great leader, a pioneer, a protector of your group.
• The thing is, not many assumptions about your are correct. People could hear or see one aspect of you and proceed to make up a whole story about you. You could be a favourite topic in gossip. Some would put you on a pedestal and can't see you do anything wrong, while some would be so ready to find any dirt about you to make you seem less than ideal.
• Some would assume you have unique dreams that you want to achieve. Those that normal people won't understand or sympathise with. You're on your own road, doing your own things. People think you're really daring, you won't sit contentedly with what you're having, you're not afraid to upset the status quo. If you find a new inspiration, a new objective, you will be ready to pack your bag and get up and go, leaving behind everything you have achieved. In a less dramatic sense, people sense that you have the ability to let go, to search for a new horizon without attachment to the past.
• Speaking of the past, some would think that you're a nostalgic person. Some hobbies and favourite things of yours are those of the past. You might still keep doing or enjoying something that you had done when you were a child. Childhood could be your soft spot, the one thing that you guard so fiercely.
• They feel that you come from a traditional family with parents in their traditional roles. And somehow, you don't want to follow their footsteps, you want to rebel, to challenge that system. You might want to stay single and independent, focusing on yourself rather than family and partnership.
• If you ever get into a partnership, people think that would involve some deals and terms, something beneficial that is worthwhile of your effort. You approach every partnership like a business one, negotiating the terms, striking a deal, exchanging of values.
CHERRY
• People think you're in a purging period. You're not satisfied with your current life and the direction it's going. It's like you've reached a plateau, you need to find a new direction, a new way of living your life. And people think you're really brave for that intention, you're not afraid to discard unnecessary things, old thinking patterns, limited beliefs. You're willing to give yourself a makeover. Fears seem to not faze you at all, there seem to be no emotional turmoil. You act with your instincts and your heart's desire, charging forward.
• But people don't think you're a flaky, changeable person. You only change when your life demands it, your ultimate goal is stability and a stronger foundation.
• On the topic of instincts, some people feel you're really spontaneous in love. You fall in love easily, suddenly, with the naivete of a child. You love being in love, you don't take into consideration other practical matters surrounding a relationship, you just jump in for the pure bliss of romance.
• They would guess that you're usually the one doing the pursuing and confessing first. There could be a pattern in the people you're attracted to or a pattern in your relationships. Some would think, quietly, that you might be not aware of some deeper aspects within yourself, manifesting as these patterns. Like a certain part of you is repressed or neglected, so you seek that part in the other person.
• But in general, people think you have a lot of love to give. Your brave heart is undeniable.
• Other than romance, people also think that you're artistic and creative. Your ideas are unique and refreshing, some could be a little too grand, too far reaching. Some could guess that your job involves this kind of artistic talent.
• The way you act makes some feel that you're being sheltered by the people around you, like a precious child being protected by the community. But there's no envy or negative emotion here, they just observe that and can understand by themselves why you're like that. There's a honesty, a purity of thoughts in the way you express yourself and the way you share with people. They think you deserve that kind of good treatment.
• Also, due to that perceived honesty, some would feel comfortable confiding in you, they trust that you would keep their secrets for them.
GOLD
• The first thing people would assume about you is that you love hanging out with people, socialising, and having superficial fun with anyone you come across. You seem lighthearted like an excited kid in the middle of a carnival, wanting to see everything, to taste everything.
• People also think you like to shine, to feel seen and applauded. You're gregarious and seem to have no difficulty being yourself in front of a crowd. A bright confidence. Some would assume you like to be in a crowd because you like the attention. But most just assume you're friendly and have an extrovert nature.
• A few would try to guess the base of your desire to mingle with people. They think you're lonely or are sad about something, and you want to soothe that feeling by being with people, seeking the warmth of others. But most people don't seem to think too deeply about your nature, some would even find it hard to believe you're having some emotional turmoil inside.
• Some with a more suspicious nature might think you like to use joke and sarcasm to mask your insecurities and the difficulties you're having in your life. They think you're running away from the problems, trying to stay positive while a future disaster is pressing on your nerves. They think you need to change something or to be more brave in taking a new endeavour. It's not malicious though, they want to help and support you because they think you have potential.
• Right now, you seem to be pretty settled down with your life, doing things routinely, repeating days after days, like a drill. Some think that you're running in circles, wasting your time by immersing in the mundane details of other people's lives while refusing to look further for your own life. Or they assume your work requires that kind of lifestyle. You seem like a busybee, moving, talking constantly.
• People would assume based on your outgoing nature and the carefree way you show yourself, you have an active and passionate sex life. Your sexuality might be the question lots of people have in mind. Some would assume you can be quite dominant and aggressive in bed.
HONEY
• The assumptions about you would change a lot with time. Each period of your life will be accompanied by different assumptions from people. Could be that with each period, you are in a different environment with different types of people. So their values and beliefs would be different. Consequently, their assumptions about you and everything around them in general would be different. But the common point between these assumptions is that, they usually don't reflect your true self very well, people would likely be surprised when they get closer to you.
• At first glance, they assume that you're very passionate and full of ardour. You're optimistic and like to believe in a bright future, regardless of your current situation.
• People would think that you're a relationship person. Another group also has a passionate and confident air about them when it comes to love and romance, but yours is softer and feels more mature. People think you don't chase love, but by being so intensely you, you attract love wherever you go.
• They would assume that being love by you would be an unforgettable experience, the kind of love that is so pure and nurturing, where you can put your heart out into the open. Some people would fall for your perceived ability to love. Your potential of being a lover.
• Right now, you seem to focus more on securing material comfort and building a foundation for yourself rather than focusing on relationships. You can be perceived as a very hardworking person, to the point of being a workaholic. The people who want to approach you think you don't have time for them. You completely committed yourself to your work and study. Determined to be stable and thriving.
• Money and material possessions might be a source of comfort for you. They think you would try everything to achieve that, even using some tricks or personal talents to help you get ahead. Nothing too serious or negative though, they just feel that you have a knack for completing tasks faster, skillful and flexible.
• If someone knows more about your upbringing and the traditional values surrounding it, they would assume that the you right now is rebelling against those values. It's like you've reinvented yourself anew, away from the old values that no longer resonate with you. You could have been disillusioned by them, a naive believer. But now you stand on your own, find and build your own set of values. You could change your jobs, your studies, your living places because of that.
#pick a card#pick a pile#tarotblr#tarot#tarot community#witchblr#crystal reading#tarot reading#lithomancy#divination#witch community#astro community#astrology#astro#future spouse#astrology readings#astroblr#spirituality#crystals#occult#witchcraft#pick a stone
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The Story of Us: Chapter 1
pairing: logan sargeant x famous!fem!singer
summary: logan and you have been keeping a secret from everyone but it might be time for it to come out
a/n: while I do my best on most of my works to be race neutral, this one is very very very self indulgent 🤷🏻♀️
a/n2: this is part 1 of 4/5, which will be released when they’re finished and I’m using pretty much everything from Taylor Swift
a/n3: I still don’t understand instagram so - no one but those that follow you can see a private accounts comments (even on a public post). Also I still hate twitter so I’ve replaced it with Bluesky
y/n_fanpage
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 10,293,833 others
y/n_fanpage: y/n_nation has been busy this past week with hints of what’s to come. Obviously midnight has something to do with her announcement! Thoughts?
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user1: NO. SHUT UP!!!
↳user2: NEW STUFF??? NEW MATERIAL??
↳user1: MOTHER IS BACKKK!!!
↳user2: I forgot that it’s y/n_nation that posts the announcements now 😭😭 I feel like I’ve missed so much stuff
↳user1: girl you better go back and check it out
charles_leclerc: cannot wait! Will definitely be on repeat in the garage
↳carlossainz55: yes!!
↳scuderiaferrari: already making room for it in the playlist!
↳user3: ok but this just makes sense to me!!
↳user4: right? Of course Carlos and Charles are y/n fans!
user5: another banger album on the way!
↳user6: album of the year!!
user7: 🤞🤞 fingers crossed it’s a love album
↳user8: oh my god same?
↳user7: like I love her other stuff so much but her love albums??? Next. Level.
↳user8: right?? Oh imagine being loved by someone who writes literal love songs for you
↳user7: not just love songs tho…Thee love songs!
alex_albon: new race day anthem loading!
↳logansargeant: 😂
↳alex_albon: I can’t be teammates with you if you’re not a y/n fan
↳logansargeant: biggest fan there is
↳alex_albon: well that’s not possible
↳lilymhe: no one is taking that title from us!
↳logansargeant: if you say so…
↳oscarpiastri: 🤣🤣
user9: tour tour tour tour!
↳user10: she’s hasn’t even released the album yet? Like Jesus…
y/n
liked by user, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, alex_albom, logansargeant, and 11,283,012 others
y/n: this is a no judgement zone, right? Right? Meet the newest members of the family — Snowball and Snowflake, Marshmallow, and Croissant!
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user11: I’m in love?
↳user12: you’re in love? I’m in love!!!
↳user13: they’re so cute!
maxverstappen1: You’re a cat mom too?
↳user14: still not over the thought that vroom vroom guys are in mothers comment section
logansargeant: good looking pups there!
charles_leclerc: it must be the season for new pets!
↳user15: ok but this seems desperate?
↳user16: oh I’m glad I’m not the only one to sense this
↳charles_leclerc: non! It is called shooting your shot!
↳user15: reads like desperation tbh
↳maxverstappen1: ha
↳charles_leclerc: I don’t think I like you anymore
↳user15: I’m not sure who you’re talking too or who should be more offended
↳charles_leclerc: yes
y/n
liked by logansargeant, landonorris, estebanocon and 13,297,934 others
y/n: We lie awake in love and in fear, in turmoil and in tears. We stare at walls and drink until they speak back. We twist in our self-made cages and pray that we aren’t — right this minute — about to make some fateful life-altering mistake.
This is a collection of music written in the middle of the night, a journey through terrors and sweet dreams. The floors we pace and the demons we face. For all of us who have tossed and turned and decided to keep the lanterns lit and go searching — hoping that just maybe, when the clocks strike twelve…we’ll meet ourselves.
Midnights, the story of 13 sleepless nights scattered throughout my life, is yours now. Meet me at midnight
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user16: what??? Like what??
user17: did she seriously just drop a surprise album on us?????
↳user18: miss ma’am mother i know that the album is called midnight but that does NOt mean you have to drop it at midnight! I have classes tomorrow!
maxverstappen1: vigilante shit is on repeat!
↳redbullracing: we can confirm this ✅
↳charles_leclerc: bejeweled is where it’s at actually
↳scuderiaferrari: excuse us while we grab our rhinestones
↳maxverstappen1: it’s ok to admit you’re wrong.
↳charles_leclerc: I’m glad you’re being truthful!
↳maxverstappen1: 😑😑😑
user19: ok but mastermind??? What kind of groundwork are you laying girl??
↳user20: right??? She’s been writing love songs for years and there’s still nothing about who they’re for
↳user21: for real!!! She’s come out about a lot of her songs — illicit affair about yourbff and back to December being about yoursister — but she’s Never! Said anything about who the love songs are about!
↳user19: I’m convinced she’s in a long term relationship and they’re all about her partner!
↳user20: user53 your help is needed rn!
↳user53: oh god not again
↳user19: when im right im gonna laugh in your face
↳user53: uh huh sure you will
alex_albon: do we have to pick a favorite?? Can’t we just play it on repeat in it’s entirety?
↳lilymhe: we absolutely will be doing that
↳logansargeant: really? The entirety??
↳alex_albon: for someone who tried to say you were her biggest fan, this is disappointing behavior
↳lilymhe: it really is
↳logansargeant: 🤷🏼♂️🤷🏼♂️
↳logansargeant: 🤣
oscarpiastri: my sisters have been screaming at me since it dropped
↳logansargeant: oops. Sorry about that man — know how that feels
↳hattiepiastri: we! need! a! signed! copy!
↳oscarpiastri: I thought you were just into kpop?
↳hattiepiastri: mom! nicolepiastri Oscar is being mean!
↳oscarpiastri: low blow.
↳hattiepiastri: 🤨🥺
↳oscarpiastri: …I’ll see what I can do
↳user19: 🧐🧐🧐
landonorris: I don’t know which one to choose as a favorite…
↳oscarpiastri: oh no
↳landonorris: which means all of them are!
↳oscarpiastri: does this mean…
↳carlossainz55: he will be singing the entire album at the top of his lungs, yes
↳danielricciardo: it won’t be good singing but it will be consistent
↳oscarpiastri: no
↳carlossainz55: yes
↳danielricciardo: yup
↳landonorris: go away muppets! Leave me and y/n and her album alone
↳oscarpiastri: 🤣🤣
logansargeant
liked by not_y/n, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 1,294,278 others
logansargeant: always a great feeling being back home — even better with new friends
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user22: new puppy??? Winter break did Logan good this year!
alex_albon: you didn’t tell me you got a new dog!
↳logansargeant: haha it’s technically not mine but sorry!
↳alex_albon: you got a new dog and didn’t tell me!! Me!!
↳logansargeant: 😂😂
↳lilymhe: he’s pacing right now, he’s in distress
↳logansargeant: sorry not sorry
↳logansargeant: would a visit with him help?
↳alex_albon: it is literally the least you could do
↳logansargeant: 😂 he’ll be at Miami
↳alex_albon: good!
user23: ummm?? Could I take the place of the puppy???
user24: I’m?? Jealous? Of a dog…
↳user25: big mood
↳used24: this is not where I predicted my life would be 10 years ago…
↳user25: no one ever does.
user19: am I gonna be attacked if I say something?
↳user53: potentially
↳user19: do you just have me on notifications??
↳user26: we alert them every time we see you post
↳user26: you scare us
↳user19: just because I’m always right doesn’t mean I’m scary
↳user53: ok let’s take it to dms.
↳user19: buckle up then buddy cause I’ve got it all printed out
↳user26: user53 is a real one 🫡 taking it for team
↳user19: 😡😡😡
↳user53: user19 come on. Explain your newest conspiracy
not_y/n: what a cutie! And he looks so well behaved
↳not_logan: why thank you!
↳not_oscar: gross guys. Keep it to yourselves please and thank you
↳not_y/n: why?? Want me to call you a good boy too??
↳not_logan: absolutely not!
↳not_oscar: eww 🤢 you’re solidly in the sister category and this is not game of thrones
↳not_y/n: 😜
↳not_y/n: speaking of — hotd season 1 binge before Miami?
↳not_logan: yes!
↳not_oscar: yes! — L
↳not_oscar: i guess that it’s a yes from us
y/n
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 16,294,923 others
y/n:
What keeps you up at night?
It’s a momentary glimmer of distraction. The tiniest notion of reminiscent thought that wanders off into wondering, the spark that lights a tinderbox of fixation. And now it is irreversible. The flame has caught. You’re wide awake.
3am is different from midnight — the sky is ever darker and the thoughts even more haunting. Things that would keep you up at one don’t at the other.
Midnights: the 3am edition is yours now
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user27: why? Would? You? Do? This? To? Me?? I just barely got over midnights?? And now I have to listen to 3am??
oscarpiastri: again? Didn’t we just go through this 2 weeks ago?
↳landonorris: WOOOO!
↳oscarpiastri: oh no 😥
↳logansargeant: you could show some enthusiasm? You’ve definitely said she’s one of your favorite artists before
↳oscarpiastri: she is. Lando’s version of her? Not so much
↳landonorris: so rude!
↳carlossainz55: I think it might be a self defense mechanism
↳danielricciardo: gotta save those eardrums somehow
↳landonorris: 😡😡
danielricciardo: Paris baby!
↳user28: I knew you were a man of taste!
↳yukitsunoda0511: he’s really not. The Great War is superior
↳danielricciardo: you wish
user29: ok but would’ve, could’ve, should’ve??
↳lilymhe: karma is still the superior song
↳alex_albon: bigger than the whole sky? Did you miss that song?
↳lilymhe: we’re breaking up. I can’t be with someone who’s top song isn’t karma
↳user29: sorry but you’re both wrong 🤷🏼♂️
user19: Paris???? Are you kidding me!??!? And The Great War?!??
↳user53: I’m gonna need you to take a deep breath
↳user19: I told you!
↳user53: yes you did. And, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, I’m starting to believe you
↳user30: who are you and what happened to user53?
↳user53: I don’t know man. I don’t know
↳user53: however user19 might be on to something here…
↳user19: MIGHT?!?
↳user19: just you wait!
y/n_nation
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, and 19,294,923 others
y/n_nation: pack your backs and get your tickets! Coming to a city near you, the Eras Tour is a journey through y/n’s decade long music career!
Starting in Miami, Opening Night is Monday, May 6…more
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user30: YES!!!
↳user31: omg omg omg omg!!!!
danielricciardo: already planning on it!
↳maxverstappen1: so lucky that opening day is immediately after the Miami GP!
↳danielricciardo: exactly! It’ll be nice to spend a few extra days in Florida!
↳user19: yes so lucky…
oscarpiastri: on the one hand I think my sisters would kill me if we didn’t go for opening night…on the other hand I don’t know if I can do a live show with Lando…
↳logansargeant: maybe you’ll get lucky and have separate seating?
↳oscarpiastri: one could only hope…
↳landonorris: you frickin muppets
↳hattiepiastri: seriously???
↳oscarpiastri: will work on it
↳hattiepiastri: yes!!
alex_albon: suddenly i feel like the garages will have a lot of extra guests…
↳lilymhe: what do you mean? I always planned on going to Miami!
↳alex_albon: does always mean 20 minutes?
↳carmenmmundt: it does actually!
↳georgerussell63: since when?
↳francisca.cgomes: for about the last 20 minutes!
↳pierregasly: hint received
↳francisca.cgomes: 🤭
user32: ok i need to be at opening night now…
↳user33: right? The chance to see all these drivers in person?
↳user32: AND to see y/n perform live?!? Dream come true
charles_leclerc: I am ready to fight the Ticketmaster
↳alexandrasaintmleux: yay!
↳user34: oh to have Charles leclerc fight Ticketmaster for you…
logansargeant
liked by not_y/n, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 1,214,223 others
logansargeant: last minute dates before the season starts
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user35: who? What? Where? When?
↳user36: A GIRLFRIEND?!??!!? SINCE WHEN????
alex_albon: first you get a dog and don’t tell me and now you have a whole ass GIRLFRIEND AND DIDNT TELL ME???? Where is the team loyalty?
↳logansargeant: …we’ve been together longer then I’ve been your teammate?
↳user37: what?? HOW LONG?
↳alex_albon: exactly! HOW LONG???
↳logansargeant: just over 10 years now
↳alex_albon: you were a baby?
↳logansargeant: I was nearly 14?
↳alex_albon: a baby!!
oscarpiastri: tell her to answer her texts
↳logansargeant: she said she’s on a strict no phone policy
↳oscarpiastri: I can see her on her phone right now
↳logansargeant: “oh it’s exclusively against Australians who mocked my cooking attempts”
↳oscarpiastri: 😑😑😑
↳oscarpiastri: whatever she made IT WAS NOT BANANA BREAD
↳logansargeant: “but you didn’t have to laugh at me!”
↳alex_albon: the Australian knows???
↳oscarpiastri: there are levels here albon. Gotta get on my level — childhood best friends
jensonbutton: you’ve never mentioned you had a girl, kid
↳logansargeant: ok but to be fair you’ve never asked?
↳jensonbutton: and you’ve never introduced us?
↳logansargeant: she supports from a distance — she also travels a lot for work
↳jensonbutton: kid…
↳alex_albon: DOES ANYONE BUT THE AUSTRALIAN KNOW??
↳oscarpiastri: my family knows
↳alex_albon: Logan…
↳logansargeant:😂
user38: that Florida sun does something amazing for Logan!
↳user39: is it the sun or is it the girl??
↳logansargeant: it’s not the girl
↳logansargeant: it’s my girl
↳user39: I am literally swooning right now good lord
user19: user53! I told you
↳user53: …yeah ok
↳user40: user19 I need the timeline I need the proof I need the receipts
↳user19: I’ve got you!
Bluesky
f1
liked by logansargeant, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 8,923,924 others
tagged: y/n, y/n_nation
f1: it’s time to be fearless! Miss Americana will be performing the National Anthem at the Miami GP the day before the start of her Eras tour!
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user41: oh my god!!! I get to see her twice???
↳user42: seriously??? I’m so jealous
↳user41: I don’t know which gods blessed me but I managed to get tickets to both!!
↳user42: you know I heard it’s good to sleep with your windows open…
maxverstappen1: y/n the Redbull Garage would gladly welcome you!
↳redbullracing: absolutely! You Belong With Us!
↳user43: …is the redbull admin playing wingman for max?
↳redbullracing: the grind never stops
↳maxverstappen1: thanks admin
↳user43: gotta respect that I guess
landonorris: I think papaya is more your color y/n!
↳user44: I think she might prefer a winner actually
↳user44: you know to match her 3 album of the year’s
↳landonorris: ok i let stand the bullying from my friends and teammates
↳landonorris: but im not gonna stand for it from you
williamsracing: i think we could have The Best Day with you and your fellow American y/n!
↳logansargeant: hey what?
↳alex_albon: that’s it? Gonna need more enthusiasm from the guy who “claims” he’s the biggest fan
↳lilymhe: yeah! Show off your American spirit
↳logansargeant: caw caw 🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅
↳y/n: stunning show
↳lilymhe: 🤯🤯
user49: did…did she just…
↳user50: respond to Logan Sargeant? Yeah
↳user49: ohmygod
scuderiaferrari: I do believe Red is your color y/n
↳charles_leclerc: we look best in Red here!
↳carlossainz55: and we have ice cream!
↳charles_leclerc: yes! Custom ice cream just for you
↳alexandrasaintmleux: and we’ll even have a puppy if you’d like a puppy play date!
↳charles_leclerc: yes leo is very well behaved
↳user51: the desperation stinks all up in here
user52: i am living for all the garages trying to get y/n to join them for the weekend
↳user54: my favorite part is the desperation coming from the drivers
↳user54: silly vroom vroom guys and gals thinking they could shoot their shot with y/n… liked by not_y/n
Private Messages
y/n_gossip
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y/n_gossip: breaking! Coming from unknown sources are apparently leaked photos from y/n’s private phone.
My questions are how was she hacked and who is the guy!
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Private Messages
#f1#f1 smau#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1 x you#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 instagram au#logan sargent fluff#logan sargeant smau#logan sargeant x you#logan sargent x reader#logan sargeant x reader#logan sargeant imagine#logan sargeant#f1 fic#f1 2024#formula 1 smau#formula 1 social media au#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x reader#formula 1#formula one#formula one imagine#formula one fanfiction#formula one fic#formula one social media au
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NSFW Sevika HCs
𖢻 ~ ~ ~ 𖢻
A/n: i haven't written any smut in god knows how long so pls go easy yall 😭
𖢻 ~ ~ ~ 𖢻
This is a dom
I love indulging in the bottom!sevika content when i come across it, it's beautiful, showstopping
But bby, you only get to do what she lets you do. Even when she's on bottom, you're never really the one in charge, no matter how you might try to convince yourself
She's a terrible tease, and has an absolutely filthy mouth. Loves watching your jaw drop slightly when she whispers things in public, and how you scramble to gather yourself
Her self-control and patience is absolutely insane. She's not one to jump your pants at the first tease you give her.
She'll let you have her fun, all while running the tip of her tongue across a canine and plotting her revenge
Gets a big head/ego if you call her mommy. Nearly loses her mind and reputation for restraint if you call her daddy
A lot of her turn-ons are things that aren't inherently sexual. I like to think she's attracted to both masc and fem-presenting people, and anything leaning deeper into these characteristics will get a rise out of her.
Ex.'s -> watching you put on makeup in the mornings, specifically lipstick/gloss. Conversely, how your thighs look and your face hardens when you manspread while striking a deal. When you look up at her and rest your hands on her chest. When you lean back and rest your arm over the back of her chair
Particularly masculine and particularly feminine things. She eats up both
Absolutely a bit of a sadist/madochist. We know this from the whole cait thing
She's obsessed with your mouth in particular. The marks you leave, the shapes it makes with certain sounds she pulls from you, how your lips wrap around her fingers when she teases your mouth open with them
She rarely ever has you on your back because she wants to watch your tongue loll and your eyes roll
Goes crazy for certain things you say when you start to reach melted brain levels of fucked out; "baby, it's too much…" "Sevi, i can't keep going" "no, baby, no more…" it's like a second wave. And, (always) only with your emphatic consent, she'll proceed to push your body even more
Her favorite position is missionary i'm sorry lmfao. Vanilla in theory, but definitely doesn't feel like it when she's slinging that shimmerstrap LOL
I HC she's generally pretty gentle with you, at least lovesick!sevika is. In the sense that she's not tossing you around or slapping your ass purple.
Rather, she'll wrap her hand around your throat but not really squeeze. And she'll push her fingers down your throat until you're teary-eyed, but she won't fuck your throat until it's raw and sore.
She prefers using her hands and her mouth, but her strap game is insane. That stroke would be hypnotic to watch.
Her eyes read clearly when it comes to intimacy. The way they darken and narrow when she's about to pounce on you, and how they always get so glossy and self-satisfied (if not a bit smug) as she watches you cum.
Her crows feet crease as she smiles down at you, whispering "good job, baby" and "there's my girl, you're okay. I've got you."
Always insists on taking care of you afterwards, but won't fight you on it if you flip it on her and make her lay back so you can clean her up
In fact, please do this. She'll think about it for weeks
Cuddles you afterward like she's trying to burrow in your skin. Can't get enough of the smell of you post-sex, burying her nose in your neck and your hair
Yeah, she's never sharing you. Everything about you is too precious, too hers.
She demands hickeys/lipstick marks on her chest- over her heart- because your claim over her deepens her own.
#arcane#sevika#arcane sevika#sevika x reader#sevika headcanon#BOOMSHAKALAKA YES GODD YES GODDD#ubebones writing
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It's a fascinating question and the answer doesn't speak to it at all. We're talking about swapping perceptions, you know, the hypothetical thing that could answer those "What if my blue is your red?" ponderings. Were that the case and you were to swap, you would start seeing everything red as blue and vice versa, but you would be able to tell this. That's a controversial point, but we aren't proposing a full qualia inversion here; your internal concepts of red and blue haven't changed, just the way that your brain maps sensory stimuli to your qualia has. You can imagine red, and it's red as you have always imagined it, you just look at a red delicious apple and you see it as blue. (Actually a fascinating question whether people would agree with this assessment, and has me wondering about people with aphantasia specifically about if they think their 'red as they have always imagined it' can be separated from the way things with that color look to them. I'm getting off track.)
But this swap is different. Semiotics refers to the meanings that things have; for instance, the way you are looking at these squiggles or hearing these sound waves and taking them as a message. I am intending a meaning now as I type these words out, and you are taking away a meaning as you perceive them, and though it won't quite be the same meaning it is related. There's a question of where exactly the meaning you perceive is; is it in the message itself? Is it just contained in the context around it? Was it put there by me? Is it only there when you read or hear it?
And now specifically we're talking about abstract objects, things which aren't concrete; for instance, words as words, not images or sounds but the thing that those patterns invoke. Things where it is already an interesting philosophical question about how exactly it is that they exist. (For those with the bent to ponder it and not just go 'Uh, they just do, duh' because yeah that's fair.) And that's just one example of an abstract object. It's not all messages. There are numbers. There are complex mathematical objects, like groups and rings and fields. Are things like "peace" abstract objects?
If we do this swap of perceptions, so you perceive the meaning of an abstract thing to be the meaning that I perceive... What are you perceiving, exactly? Is it the thing anymore? Is this even truly a swap of perceptions or is it rather a swap of thoughts? If you took one piece of my mental model of the world and swapped it out with one of yours, how would it fit in? Would it fit in at all? It's fascinating.
The world isn't shrouded in darkness. There's not some blinding fog that has settled over everything. You can observe the world, make sense of parts of it, peer into its mysteries and try to think of answers. Yeah, it's confusing and a lot of pieces of it are out of reach but that's just because the world is so fucking big and complicated and so many parts we simply lack the faculties to possess. This question is that lovely kind of philosophical pondering that is fundamentally unresolvable and by all rights has no practical purpose... But we can still talk about it, and in talking about it, we can share ideas and work through how it is we think of things. If nothing else, we can enjoy ourselves. And that's as practical a purpose as anything else.
Don't see something you can't think of how to answer and decide that it cannot be answered and that now is a time to shrink away to safe thoughts that can be trusted. Ponder whatever bullshit that strikes your fancy, and try to think about what the answers would be. Even if you can fundamentally never find out if you're right or wrong, the thinking itself is a worthwhile exercise. Encourage other people to do it too, though don't try to force it; different people have their own sorts of funtime questioning. I've got things like this, some people have how much prep time Batman would need to defeat Shrek in a fight.
equally confounded and obsessed by this quora question and response that i just stumbled onto
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From Scratch
Nutrition Info: Johnny/Reader; 4k; a meetcute launched by Reader's inability to cook reasonable portions, and Johnny's... well, just Johnny
No matter how long you live alone, you can’t get the hang of cooking for one person. Even when you try to make a single-serving meal instead of batch cooking, somehow it balloons out of control. Wasting food makes you feel awful, but you can only freeze so much.
One evening, desperate and utterly fed up, you go kick gently at a neighbor’s door, both hands full, trying to mimic a knock with your shoe. Jason, you think his name was? Striking blue eyes, big frame, a cute cropped mohawk, amazing brogue, and he’s always been cordial when you’ve run into him around the building. Friendly, but not too friendly.
He’s understandably confused by your request at first, but seems happy enough for the food, and takes it around your repeated apologies–for bothering him, for existing, for anything you can find, really.
Unfortunately, not even forcing yourself to go and do all of that manages to pierce your shite sense of volume. Your trips to his door do get less awkward over time, though. And Johnny, his name is, always has sparklingly clean dishes and containers to return in exchange for the full ones.
Eventually he just starts showing up at your place instead and eats with you at your bar counter. He didn’t really ask, and you definitely didn’t, but there he is all the same, and… if you're honest? He’s just so easy to be around, it quickly feels natural having him there. He puts you off your guard, puts you at ease and makes you smile, like those are somehow the most natural things in the world.
From that first night, Johnny has insisted on helping with dishes. Starting the second, he’s always got groceries with him. Even manages to talk you out of your discomfort over accepting them, so well that on his fourth night, you’ve got a small shopping list ready. He’s cheeky, you don’t think he’ll mind. And he is right, after all: you're probably feeding him at least three or four nights out of the week, what with all the leftovers.
You start eating better, and trying new things you'd always planned on “getting around to,” now that you've got a reason to cook beyond not starving. Everything comes out fine the first time you make it, when you’re closely following a recipe, and Johnny has no qualms about trying anything you put in front of him. You’ve never met someone so genuinely un-fussy when it comes to food.
A couple months after he’s started eating at your place, he disappears for a while. “Work trip,” is all he'll say, and you don’t pry, even though you really want to.
Once he’s back, he starts coming over weekend afternoons sometimes. You do brunch with beer or fancy drinks in champagne flutes, or occasional breakfast on the roof before other people are awake, him in a big hoodie or jumper, and you wearing a thick blanket like it's trying to digest you, looking like a half-drowned cat because no living being is meant to be awake at such an hour.
That’s probably the official start of his sous chef arc. And that’s what has him spending a night judging your knives and marveling, repeatedly and loudly, that you still have all your fingers.
You cut fruit into mangled flowers and vague geometric shapes for the brunches, usually while just spending time with him. He tries his hand at it once, with you pulling up videos, laughing the whole time you’re explaining how it’s supposed to work, and the utter bastard is better at it on his first go than you were after weeks. His hands are confoundingly steady, and his hand-eye coordination borders on the unnatural.
You might put a piece of eggshell into his omelet that night in retaliation, and he might not even have the decency to react to it.
“...Johnny I can hear it crunching, oh my God would you spit it out!” You manage between laughter that’s got your face hurting.
That happens a lot around him. Smiling so much it hurts.
“Nah, i’s nice texture,” he says around the mouthful, then starts enunciating the longer words. “Very advanced technique. Shows a great awareness of the culinary experience–”
“You’re being such a prat. Why are you being such a prat!”
He talks over you as if he can’t hear you, as if he’s doing some mockingly posh review. “And honestly, the crunching–” he pauses and chomps down on the shell for effect, and how is it still intact, “it really engages the senses. Keeps me immersed in my dining experience.”
You regret loaning him your cooking books. Never again.
After that, though, he steals your knives, takes them home, and they come back so sharp you can cut windowpane slices of potato. He offers to teach you how to do it yourself–after stipulating with heart-clenching thoroughness that he’s happy to come over and do it for you any time.
Johnny gets weirdly into shopping farmer’s markets, walking around discovering new produce and varieties of things he’s never seen before. “Fuck would I know tomatoes come in this color? Look at this thing, it’s like a feckin’... it’s a wee lumpy sunset, isn’t it? And this! Like someone took the heart of a dragon,” his voice had gone terribly dramatic, and you definitely hadn’t covered your face, “and stuck it on a bush somewhere.”
“Baby how are you so huge, but so adorable?” You don't know when the pet names started, but you know he started them; sometimes it feels like you two grew up together.
You like the challenge of the new and unexpected ingredients that come from his trips, and by this point, he’s keeping your kitchen pretty stocked with whatever oddball pantry items you ask for, so you're set up to deal with almost anything. But on rare occasions he’ll call you with a question, too. You’ve had each other’s numbers for a while, it just made coordinating easier.
“Oi can you make sommat with uh… fiddlehead ferns?”
You always can, whatever he asks about. It just takes a quick internet search to find out if you can tackle it that same night, or if it needs to wait for another day. Sometimes it ends up disastrous, but like a shot, Johnny has you laughing or throwing something at him (usually-but-not-always also while laughing) before guilt or shame can get a proper foothold.
There was a night when he was too excited about something to wait for you to answer the door when he knocked, and since then, he just sort of comes in on his own after he announces himself—at least when you know to expect him. That feels right, too, just like having him at your counter had.
You’re feeding the both of you almost every night of the week by now, even if you’re still not cooking often. You like being around him so much, you can’t imagine doing it less, not even when cooking is the last thing you want to be doing. It’s like there’s a bubbly little sun in your chest when he’s around.
Johnny makes you so happy, in fact, and you’re so afraid of losing your time with him, it’s nearly six months before the first time you have to tap out of a dinner, too knackered to make yourself even casually presentable, nevermind cook so much as instant noodles.
He reacts like it’s no problem at all, which of course he’d do, because he’s wonderful, but you don’t manage to keep your heart from dropping that he’s not at least a little sad. That he doesn’t, maybe, look forward to the nights like you do. You know your arrangement is practical, and he’s never been over unless there was food involved, but… well… seeing him seems to have become rather… vital to you.
Which means it’s better to put it away, anyhow, right?
So when, an hour after you’d texted him and basically all he’d said was No problem, thinking takeout, any votes?, he’s coming through your front door with delivery bags and talking a mile a minute like it’s just another night, you're left with your mouth open and your hand on the knob, because… because he's here.
You're not cooking, but he's still here.
You just stand there gobsmacked as he sits on the couch, nattering away, half the food out before he even realizes you’re still playing doorstop. He asks if you’re having the time of your life or if you’re going to come sit down, those horrible (wonderful) crinkles at the sides of his eyes, brows pulled up in the middle.
He looks confused when you say you want to freshen up, like he can’t see that your hair might’ve lost a row with a feral rodent, or that you’re wearing clothes that shouldn’t even be outside of a bin, nevermind on a person. He just tells you the food will get cold, and that it’ll be no good that way.
So you run your hands through your hair and sit, subdued and uncertain like you haven’t been around him in ages, as he amiably fills the silence. You know he can tell you’re not right, but he’s just… acting like it’s ok that you aren’t.
Midway through the meal, he reaches forward to grab a container and put it in front of you, and it makes his knee come up against yours.
It doesn’t move away when he sits back.
Then, as the night wears on and the very most jagged edges of your weariness have eased, he makes a joke and you bump your shoulder into him in retaliation. It pushes your legs flush… and neither of you do anything to separate them. He just keeps on being Johnny like nothing is different, like nothing strange is happening, like he can’t see how bloody flushed you must be, like the room hasn't turned to glass and burst, leaving the both of you toppling through the air.
You're not stupid, so you have to tell yourself repeatedly that he’s just trying to comfort you. He’s acting completely normal otherwise—for Johnny—and you look like a person in need of a friend tonight. And same as him, you’re at all your meal nights instead of off with friends or dates. At least for him, it’s because of his career. You haven’t even seen him bringing up a new fling in ages.
…You’re not stupid. Right?
After the food is finished, Johnny putters about cleaning up, working his way around your kitchen like he knows it exactly as well as he does. He puts all but one container of leftovers in your fridge.
You hug your knees comfortably, just sort of watching him, too full of static to be paranoid about it, and he either doesn’t realize or isn’t bothered by it. Not being a complete creep, you don’t keep it up for too long, anyhow. You’ve got plenty to occupy your thoughts.
He surprises you on his way out by casually setting a mug in front of you. He’d made you something hot to drink while he was cleaning up, and you were so spaced you hadn’t realized. He just gives you a little smile, a gentle squeeze on the shoulder with a stroke of his thumb, says, “Wednesday, yeah?” (the night of your next normal get-together), and moves on toward the door. All normal. But there’s some metal in your chest painfully bending itself into unaccustomed shapes, jabbing places that aren’t used to the pressure, pushing into your windpipe until it’s hard to breathe, and you can’t stop yourself from telling him that you made up a new seasoning blend for popcorn, if he’d maybe like to watch a movie before he goes.
He stands there by the door looking at you just for a split second too long, opens his mouth, closes it, then settles right back onto the couch up next to you. He reaches out an arm and pulls you gently into his side, moving in a way that makes it an invitation and not a demand, while he’s talking about what to watch.
You fall asleep there. So does he.
You keep up the dinners and the weekends, and eventually, finally realize that with him around to take all your extras, you can bake. It’s something you’ve wanted to try forever, but recipes don’t really make single servings, and you never had anyone to pawn off the other 22 muffins or ¾ of the cake onto, or the sheet of croissants, because you absolutely want to try the most fussy, difficult things. And it turns out, when at last he tells you what he does, that Johnny works at the local military base–which at least explains his size–so if he can’t polish something off, well, he knows some blokes.
Things turn a bit funny after that in a way you can’t quite put your finger on. At the surface, everything is the same. But nothing feels the same. Every time there’s a tease, casual touches, close quarters, you have to chant not stupid not stupid not stupid on repeat in your head. He’s just Johnny, that’s all. The guy you could have grown up with.
You’re so excited after that, things almost seem to return to normal. He even comes over and hangs out while you’re baking sometimes. Just knocking about, licking the beaters and the spoons and the bowls, doing dishes as you go, fidgeting with this or that, all while knowing you’re equally as likely to produce something inedible as you are a treat.
But at least now you understand why he’s on his own. And you suppose you’re a bit small, because while you’re incredibly sad for him, part of you is thrilled that it means he’s not likely soon going to be swept away by someone else too soon.
Johnny tells you a little about his career one evening. He says that it means he’s in real danger often, there’s a lot of secrecy with people in his personal life, long absences and surprise ones, shit pay, and likely a brief expiration date. (You don’t really let that last one in). He’s got a bit of a funny look in his eyes when he shares about all of it. Quite focused on you, in a way? It makes your cheeks heat. It isn’t as if it’s on you to approve of his life.
You just gather yourself up, smile, and tell him that at least he’s spending the time he has as best he can, which is a hell of a lot more than a lot of people do–although you personally hope there’s a lot more of it. And that… at the end, you're glad for all the times you're involved.
Johnny’s leaning against the counter while you fold nuts and rum-soaked fruit into a thick batter, his normally busy hands jammed into his pockets, posture a bit off, and so close you almost keep elbowing him on accident, the two of you just bantering back and forth.
You turn your head toward him to fire back, and–
–his mouth is just there, on yours.
He lingers, but doesn’t move otherwise. It’s… testing, you think. You feel his lips shake against yours, in fact, just once.
Your shock dies fast and your eyes slip closed, and while it’s a brief kiss, when he pulls away, you don’t open them. You can’t. Because if you’re honest, you’ve probably been gone for him since the first time you gave him a friendly hug goodnight, and it’s only ever gotten worse. If you open your eyes, this won’t be real, or it won’t have happened, or it will shatter somehow.
After a pause, he runs the back of a finger down your temple, trailing the side of your face to your jaw. You still won’t open your eyes, so he just toys with your face until you do.
“Been wanting to do that for a long time,” he admits into the quiet.
He’s got a soul-crushing smile at the corners of his eyes.
“...Oh?” Your voice is embarrassingly, unhelpfully breathy. It’d probably be mortifying, if you had the mental capacity to fully register embarrassment at the moment.
“Oh?”
He pauses, smile making its way to his lips, and curling them up at the corners, bit by bit. He cants his head, just a little, like he wants to see you from another angle. “Aye. …Might’ve been since the first time I saw you at the mailboxes.”
That had been one of the first times you remember ever seeing him. He never said a word to you other than, “Mornin’” or “Evenin’,” if he said anything at all.
His smile blooms until you can see his teeth. “You were wearing this little shirt. Green, thin. Bit worn, like it was a favorite. Showed a wee spot of skin at your back.” His fingers brush the spot, soft and testing, near the base of your spine, and it jolts you from scalp to toes. “Might’ve… lost some time, thinking about what it’d feel like if I slid my hand up there.” He toys with the hem of your shirt and steps in, voice going deeper and rougher around the edges. “Might’ve imagined pushing it up, getting a bit closer. Really might’ve imagined putting your back up to the slots, mo–”
You kiss him this time, before he can go on, and it’s anything but testing.
And just like everything else about him, this fits.
His mouth fits against yours. His body fits against yours. And as if some band of control snaps, so abruptly you swear you feel it jolt through his skin, he's got you up on the counter, his thighs between yours, both of you already breathing hard.
His hands on you are perfect, calloused, slipping up under the back of your shirt, smoothing and gripping, making your chest and your thighs feel molten. It's ravenous, like he just has to touch your skin, has to get you closer. You arch toward him, fingers running up through his hair, legs curling around his and pulling him nearer.
His hips are carefully, stubbornly, infuriatingly back from you, but the kiss is so full of need, so close, that some of his breaths sound hollow against your mouth. It's like he can't decide whether inhaling or devouring you is more important, so he just doesn't choose.
When you're at the point of moaning unintentionally, of hungry little sounds forcing their way out of your chest, of your hips moving against the counter in desperation, when you're moments from outright begging, Johnny pulls back, and goes further when you try to chase his mouth.
His lips are red and full, his face dark--much worse when he catches sight of how completely drunk you must look--and he's panting. His fingers dig into your hips like he's trying to keep one or both of you from drowning. He squeezes his eyes shut.
You don't mean to, you really don't, but you look down, and lord help you but–
“That looks painful,” you tell him. Your voice sounds like it's been run over a washboard. He's tented against his denim, and his size is… proportional.
…You can't seem to remember how to make yourself look up.
“Really rather not talk about my cock just now, love,” he gravels, fingers clenching briefly against you. His head tips forward onto your shoulder, breaths panting out against your collar bone, leaving you to pick up every bit of heat he's trying to get out of himself.
You hum, teasing. “Shame, because I can't think of anything I'd rather talk ab—”
His big paw covers your mouth. “For the love of every Saint, I’m beggi—”
You cut him off right back. By licking his palm.
He recoils in horror, but the moment your eyes meet, you both burst into laughter, made worse every time he tries to tell you how disgusting that is, something about his sisters as kids, you don't know what else.
You're the first to sober, breathing almost back to normal, thoughts already whirring on fast-forward. You look down, pulling your knees together, hands gripping the edge of the counter. “Are we…. Will we be ok, after this?”
You peek up to see him looking at you like you're daft.
“‘S been the better part of a year,” he says softly, moving forward and running his thumbs over your knees. Asking your legs to make room again, to let him get close again. “Have you really not figured it out, all this time?”
Your legs open hesitantly, and he steps in and, when you look up at him, kisses one corner of your mouth, then the other, slow and warm and so tender it feels like your chest is cracking right down the center.
Eyes closed, brows a little pinched, you murmur, “We can't all be SAS savants, Johnny.” Maybe you know. Maybe. But it has been all this time, so maybe you need to hear it, too.
He's still kissing, pace unhurried and savouring, making his way to your jaw and just beneath it. But it's calming now, somewhere between reverential and still trying to bring the both of you down. Himself especially, you think.
“Then let me spell it out for you. Gladly.” He noses up against the bottom of your ear and roughs, “You are fucking stuck with me. Glued. Bloody welded.” He huffs a laugh and leans back upright—but not all the way, not too far back. “This isnae a new thing for me. You know that, right? I just….” He shakes his head and abandons the thought, “Hell, my mates have already been asking when they can come over for dinner, the dobbers.”
Your brows shoot up. “You've talked about me at work?”
He looks down, and while his face is in half a scowl, you'd swear he does it to hide a slight flush, too. “Haven't shut up about you, more like. Should hear what my Lieutenant– Ach, nevermind that.”
You hurry to say that they're welcome any time, but it makes him scowl fully.
“Not exactly keen on the idea just yet.” He puts his arms around you, buries his face in your neck, and just stands there, breathing you in. He mutters into the crook of your shoulder, “Mind if I stay like this for a bit? Just while I, uh… calm down.”
His hips are still well back from you. You’re not sure you’ve ever adored and hated him so much at once.
“I’d really like that,” you tell him softly, arms going around his ribs, hands on his shoulders, chest to chest.
It's warm and resounding like this, so after a spell, without thinking, you bite his shoulder. Just sink your teeth in and leave them there. It’s not even entirely conscious, it's just so comfortable and comforting.
“All good, there, wee piranha?” he eventually asks, a smile in his voice.
He groans. “Are ye trying to do me in?”
You detach instantly. “Ah, sorry! I, uh, might have a tiny bit of an oral fixation.”
“I’m not the one who said we had to stop, Mr. Military Discipline.”
His eyes darken in a flash, but he tamps down on it just as quickly and gets that godawful cocky look on his face, instead. “Pardon me for not wanting to rush something that really matters.” His tone goes so soft at the end that you can’t even be mad at him--exactly as you know he intended, the great bastard.
“How did I not know what a sadist you are?”
And that look means he’s about to make you eat your words.
“Johnny I will happily kill you in your sleep.”
“I could handle that. Means you'd be in my bed, aye?”
He pulls your hands up from the death grip they've found on the edge of the counter and laces your fingers together. “I dinnae….” He clears his throat, frowns. “Just being away on deployment is shite now, and I love what I do. But I miss you while I'm gone, think about you back here all the bloody time, and we havnae even….”
When he doesn’t finish, you whisper, heart clenching with the realization, “You don't want to rush this.”
He laughs quietly like he wants to argue. But what he says is, “No. I don't. But while that's true….” He steps in, chin ducking, eyes darkening even as they shine, voice lowering. “What do you say we turn the oven off? I've a funny feeling you willnae be getting around to that bake today.”
Masterlist
#johnny soap mactavish#john soap mactavish fanart#cod soap#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soap x reader#johnny mactavish#slow burn#friends to lovers#060#meet cute#comfort fic#demisexual#fluff
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not a lot, just forever
summary: weddings were never logans thing. the sappy vows, hundreds of people watching two people profess their love for each other— so why was being at jean and scott’s wedding with you affecting him so much?
pairing: logan howlett x reader
word count: 1k
warnings: romcom themes, weddings, possibly ooc!logan
authors note: sooo this is my first fic! I have some plans for a much longer, chaptered fic but figured I should ease myself into this! please go easy on me! any tips or suggestions are welcomed. thank you if you read my loves ౨ৎ
logan had been here so long he began to question where he went wrong in his life to put him here. what primordial being he had wronged to place him where he was— sitting next to you, adjusting uncomfortably in a cheap folding chair. not only were his senses being ambushed, overwhelmed—the guests cheap perfumes, the soft classical music playing in the background, mixing with the chatter of excited guests— but being here with you, was triggering something inside of him. he wasn’t someone that enjoyed weddings. anyone who looked at him even for a fraction of a second could deduce that about him. too gruff, hardened, to enjoy such a sappy environment.
it was anxiety inducing, to say the least. he shifts in his seat, trying not to fidget too much as his eyes flick from you—sitting next to him, raving about how beautiful the venue was, how excited you were for your teammates— to his surroundings.
“not a wedding person, logan?”
you speak softly, eyes raking over his appearance as you note the way his brows pinch together a little more than usual—a telltale sign of what was going on in his mind. he shakes his head in response. “they should’ve just eloped. less hassle.” he mutters gruffly, earning a laugh from you. he feels you lean in, elbowing him gently. “be nice. it’s their big day, you know? a celebration of their love.” you exclaim, a warm grin adorning your plush lips. the sight nearly makes his heart leap out of his chest—yearning for its rightful owner, you. he huffs in response, arms crossed over his broad chest. he wants to stop talking about this, to think about anything other than this god forsaken wedding. at least when he got through the ceremony, there would be alcohol at the reception. you lean in once more, and he can smell your perfume. his breath hitches and he eyes you, hoping you didn’t catch it. “so, I’ll take it you don’t see yourself settling down, cowboy?” you inquire.
not unless it’s with you.
he doesn’t miss the way your eyes drift to his lips, and back up to his eyes, but he does brush it off as him seeing things; chalking it up to his old mind deteriorating. he scoffs, brow raising as he scans the room once more in a feeble attempt to avoid eye contact with you. “settle down? no. people like us rarely get to settle down, darlin’. you know that. wouldn’t want anyone to get tangled in my mess.” he remarks—his way of saying ‘I’m terrified to get close to anyone, for fear of them winding up kidnapped by enemies or worse; waking up with my claws in their stomach—your expression darkens at his words, lips pursed and nostrils flared.
you nod, a sheepish grin curving at your lips. “right, yeah. of course.” you chuckle. “people like us don’t get the chance at a life like that very often. all the more reason to be happy for these two.” you nod, gesturing to scott standing at the altar. “you’ll get it, too.” he grumbles, pulling at the tie on his neck. “any man would be lucky to have you. just a matter of finding the right person.” your eyes linger on him at the mention, before tearing away to gaze up at the altar again.
“well,” you start, sighing, “I don’t think that my person thinks that I’m their person. so I’m sort of at a standstill.” you admit, breathlessly. now you’ve got his attention.
he leans forward, palms on the top of his thighs. “oh? and who might this person be, doll? have you tried telling him how you feel?” he questions, trying—and failing—to come off as subtle. you grin, a small chuckle falling from your lips. “no, but only because I know better. why try when you know the answer, right? I mean.. I’ve tried, I suppose. dropped hints. but I’m beginning to question if he doesn’t realize, or if he doesn’t want to realize, you know?” you turn to him, confused on why he was suddenly so attentive; his anxiety from moments before gone. his brow raises, waiting for you to elaborate. his heart skips a beat as you lean in even closer, breath fanning across his face.
“well, my right person… he doesn’t let people in. not fully. he acts like it’s because he doesn’t care but… i think he’s scared. he wants to be loved so badly, and i can see it. he doesn’t want someone to get hurt because of him. not again.” you speak cautiously, looking at him. really looking at him.
his breath hitches in his throat as he meets your eyes. were you… talking about him? no way. he opens his mouth to speak, to counter, to confess, but he’s cut off by the wedding march beginning to play.
and he’s right back to cursing whatever god he could think of. he can’t help but grin, though, as he stands with all the other guests. his heart beats rapidly in his chest, filling it with warmth.
he turns to watch jean walk down the aisle, anticipating the end of the ceremony—wishing his mutation was to speed up time rather than his adamantium claws. for once, though, it wasn’t because he couldn’t wait to get this over with. to get to the fun part already—the part where he could drink. it was because he couldn’t wait to finally tell you how he felt. to face his fears.
maybe, for once, he didn’t mind weddings so much.
he just hoped the next one would be yours.
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x you#xmen#marvel#marvel x reader#xmen x you
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Ariana Grande said in an interview regarding the loathing era of Glinda and Elphaba's relationship that they are immediately fascinated with each other and part of what makes them initially have a negative reaction is that they both recognize in the other aspects of themselves, and parts they don't yet accept or feel comfortable with. Now, I will be the first to say: that sounds gay af. But in a serious analytical sense: that interpretation by Ariana is incredibly insightful because when you think about it, yeah — Elphaba wants the beauty and popularity that Galinda has (but feels wrong for it because she finds it shallow and dumb and thinks she's above that, so she just suppresses it in the hopes that the Right People will be able to look past her unpopularity and value her for her) and Galinda truly wants not only the intellectual recognition but the peculiar power to say NO to established reality that Elphaba has (but she is constantly being overlooked and prejudged as a shallow airhead, and despite receiving plenty of surface-level attention and affection feels like an outsider: like she's always wearing a mask, never fully connecting with anyone because her truest self is much too ✨🌈Unusually and Exceedingly Peculiar🌈✨ to ever let anybody else witness). They're both the first and only ones to see what the other wanted everyone to see in them, and in the process fall in love both with each other AND with those hidden centers of themselves.
They don't loathe each other — they loathe what the other makes them feel, which is twofold: the ✨🌈Sudden and New🌈✨ feelings, obviously; BUT ALSO some very deep-seated, old feelings that nobody else could (or would) ever confront.
tl;dr: it's the good ol' sapphic experience of "Do I Wanna Be Her or Bang Her?™" — except the "be her" would involve radical self-acceptance (hard pass), and neither of them have figured out that "bang her" is an option yet. Which is what makes their relationship so beautiful: they don't merely complete each other in the "they fit together like puzzle pieces" way — they complete each other in the "they helped each other to fall in love with the parts of themselves they'd spent their whole lives loathing" way. "Handprint on my heart" and all that. The best possible resolution to the "Do I Wanna Be Her or Bang Her?" conundrum: "We're Being Us Together AND We're Banging".
#gelphie#wicked#elphaba thropp#glinda upland#glinda x elphaba#elphaba#wicked movie#elphaba x glinda#glinda
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I think there are two reasons why this happens.
The first is, Nazis are bad people. Of course you would punch a bad person, anyone would punch a bad person. It's just the right thing to do, right? It's what you're supposed to do.
The second is more complicated. People see Nazis as hating not just Jews, but people who are Queer, Disabled, Black etc. The fact that they targeted Jews doesn't matter. To your average Tumblr user, who is at least one of those things, they already have plenty of reasons to hate Nazis.
Now, because Nazis are Bad People and People Who Discriminate Against Others, and, as everyone knows, anyone you don't like is a Bad Person, it's easy to see how the word Nazi gets used way too much and in ways that are completely detached from it's original context.
In addition to all this, we've all decided Jews aren't discriminated against at all and, in fact, they are the ones discriminating against others. We use the example of Palestinians, who of course every Jew everywhere is responsible for the mistreatment of, but any other minority group works too. And since Nazis are people who do bad things to the people we care about, and we care about Palestinians, which every Jew is participating in the genocide of, therefore Jews are horrible evil Nazis. Makes complete sense, right?
(I feel the need to make it extra clear that a lot of this is sarcasm)
you’d punch a nazi but would you listen to a jew talk about antisemitism for even ten minutes
#I had actually coherant (to me) thoughts for once but I'm not sure if it actually makes sense#Jewish#antisemitism#leftist antisemitism#leftists hypocrisy#jewish#garlic posts#punch a nazi#<< i need a whole tag for that with how many times I see it#it seems#jumblr#antisemitsm on tumblr
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Matched
Finnick Odair x fem!victor!reader who are constantly introduced to each other [1.2k words]
CW: people trying to introduce Finnick and reader, Capitol behaviours (body modification, eating-purging-eating, no sense of propriety), fluff, a surprise
You’d come to expect a lot of things to happen when attending a party in the Capitol.
There would be people dressed to varying levels of near insanity. There would be people literally eating until they were sick, then forcing themselves to be sick so that they could continue eating. There would be people approaching you, asking you questions, and running their hands over your clothes or hair or jewelry or body as though having seen the most traumatic moments of your life aired on TV from the safety of their homes made you friends.
And there would always be people trying to introduce you to or set you up with their favourite victor; the Capitol’s darling.
“There you are, darling!” A rather reptilian looking woman you knew to go by Komoda greeted you as she approached; arm aggressively interlocked with another’s who didn’t appear to be all that willing to be there. “There’s someone I’d like to introduce you to.”
You plastered on your show time smile and offered your hand to Capitol Darling Finnick Odair who accepted it readily, bowing his head slightly as he met your gaze.
“Lovely evening, isn’t it?”
“It always is in the Capitol.” You volleyed, smiling back over to the Capitol citizen who seemed very excited to be seeing two of her favourite victors intermingling. “Finnick and I have met a few times, actually.”
Komoda seemed rather bemused at the fact that the two of you had met and not immediately jumped each other's bones. “Oh… oh! Really?”
You hummed in the affirmative.
“Every year when we mentor new tributes.” Finnick explained.
Komoda tried to laugh. “Well, I just think that the two of you would get on rather well.”
“We get on fine.” You continued, feigning ignorance.
“The two of you would make a very handsome couple!” One of her friend’s chimed in, earning him nods of approval from the quickly forming group of spectators.
“Well, looks aren’t everything, are they?” You tried, and a few of the more…altered individuals seemed rather perplexed at the thought. “The two of us might not have anything in common.”
“That’s very true.” Finnick agreed. “Let’s see; how do you feel about the beach?”
“Too much sand; I’m shaking it out of everything I own for far too long afterwards. What’s your favourite pastime?”
“Swimming.” He answered.
“I never learned how.” You continued with pursed lips. “Least favourite season?”
“Winter. What’s your favourite holiday?”
“Christmas.”
Finnick hummed in displeasure before continuing. “Favourite animal?”
“Cats. Yours?”
“Dogs.”
You hummed in displeasure. “How do you feel about white chocolate?”
“Love it.” He replied easily; you scrunched your nose at him before he carried on. “What’s a dealbreaker for you?”
“People who like white chocolate.”
He pressed his lips into a flat line and nodded his head in understanding. “Very fair.”
You looked back over at Komoda and her friends to see them all gaping at the two of you.
“Sorry to disappoint, folks.” Finnick apologized with a shrug of his shoulder. “It’s apparently just not meant to be.”
“But…” Komoda started, looking rather crestfallen. “I…I was so sure!”
“You’re not the first to try to set us up.” You placated, placing a gentle hand over the scale-like jewels on the shoulder of her gown. “You probably won’t be the last, either.”
“Maybe the 29th time will be the charm, hm?” Finnick offered you with a wink, causing you to roll your eyes at him.
“Don’t hold your breath, Odair.”
“I can hold my breath for a very long time, sweetheart; I’m a world class swimmer, afterall.”
“Oh, you’re something alright.” You laughed as you turned to walk away, deciding then to begin your rounds of goodbyes before heading back to your suite.
You held the towel to your face for a few seconds, just taking a moment to breathe and enjoy the quiet, warmth, and serenity of your post-party ritual.
You were just about to pull the towel away when you felt gentle hands slide around your waist before you were being embraced between two strong arms.
“Long night?” He murmured into your shoulder before pressing a kiss to it.
You hummed in agreement and pulled the towel away from your face, smiling at Finnick in the reflection of the mirror.
“It always is in the Capitol.” You replied.
He offered you a knowing smile before pressing another kiss to your shoulder.
“Missed you.” He said before reaching around you to grab some makeup wipes to begin removing the work his own stylists put into his appearance tonight. “Anything interesting happen?”
You hummed noncommittally as you smoothed cream over your skin. “Not really. Someone tried setting me up with this guy again.”
“Really?” Finnick asked, feigning intrigue. “Was it a match made in heaven?”
You made a so-so sound. “He was pretty cute,” you allowed, “but I don’t know if it would work.”
“No?”
“No. I mean, for one, he didn’t start drooling the second he saw me. Huge red flag I think.”
With that, Finnick theatrically slammed his hand down on the countertop and levelled you with a disbelieving look. “You mean to tell me that he didn’t immediately fall to his knees in worship?”
“No!”
Finnick shook his head; simply aghast. “You can do so much better, honey.”
Your smile turned soft as you watched him lather some of his face wash between his hands before bringing them to his face. “I think so too.”
By the time he was done with washing his face, you were sitting on the counter with Finnick standing between your legs as you massaged some moisturizer into his skin.
“They don’t know what you deserve anyway.” Finnick states suddenly.
Your brows scrunched in confusion. “Who doesn’t?”
“The Capitol people; they don’t know what kind of partner you deserve.”
You stayed quiet as you finished working the product into his skin, pressing a kiss to his lips to alert him to the fact that you were finished. You felt rather shy when he opened his eyes and you found yourself pinned beneath his sea green gaze.
“They’d be sorely mistaken if they thought Capitol Darling Finnick Odair was all you deserved.”
You smiled softly at him before pressing another softer, lingering kiss to his lips.
“I’m rather fond of this Finnick Odair.”
You relished in the slight pink dusting of his cheeks as his smile grew wider before he pulled you in, cradling you to his chest.
You’d come to expect a lot of things to happen when attending a party in the Capitol.
It would take your stylists three hours to prep you for the party. It would take you forty minutes to disassemble yourself after the party. The outfits and jewelry you wore would cost more than most District families saw in years.
And there would always be people trying to introduce you to or set you up with their favourite victor; the Capitol’s darling.
The best part was that no one knew you and Finnick Odair have actually been dating behind closed doors for four years now.
#the hunger games#thg fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#thg#finnick odair#finnick odair x reader#finnick odair x you#finnick x reader#finnick x you#finnick odair fanfic#finnick odair fic#finnick odair fluff#finnick odair blurb#finnick odair ficlet#finnick odair drabble#finnick odair imagine#ellecdc fics
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Pls give recommendations for Odd books 🙏
Here we go, a list of literary oddity :) This post contains majestic spheres, alien taxonomies, cruel subway polytheism, a fourth-dimensional cat, disturbing earthworms, infinite space football, existential mussel terror, a Parisian absurdist time loop, and a picture of a telegraph-pole-man-cheetah. I'm not exactly recommending these books, in the sense that I won't take any complaints if you find them more odd than good, and some of them transcend the concepts of good and bad anyway.
• The Other City, Michal Ajvaz. It's all like this:
• Contes du demi-sommeil, Marcel Béalu ('Half-asleep tales') —is the book that prompted my post about stories that have no ambition or justification beyond being odd. I'm sad that it hasn't been translated :( One of the tales is about a strange opaline sphere that rolls on the road. It doesn't accelerate when the road becomes a steep slope but continues rolling majestically. At one point it floats away towards the sky. Someone wonders if it was the moon. Someone else says authoritatively "It was an angel's egg." Everyone is reassured by this explanation. The whole thing feels exactly like remembering a dream you had. There is also a man who reads too much and whose body atrophies so only his head is left and his wife puts it in an egg cup for better stability.
• Leonora Carrington— The Skeleton's Holiday, or maybe the Hearing Trumpet. I've read them so long ago but I think the latter is the one with the old ladies and nuns? There's also a guy who was murdered in his bath by a still-life painter because he said there was a carrot in one of his paintings, but it might not have been a carrot? It's hard to remember details from this book without feeling like I might be making them up. Bonus Leonora Carrington painting which kind of feels like a short story:
• The Codex Seraphinianus, of course. I wish there were more bizarre encyclopaedias out there.
Also I love this review:
• Sleep Has His House, Anna Kavan —I really liked the way this book used language; making life feel like a fever dream even more than in Samanta Schweblin's Fever Dream (which I really liked too.)
The eye is checking a record of silence, space; a nightmare, every horror of this world in its frigid and blank neutrality. The actual scope of its orbit depends on the individual concept of desolation, but approximate symbols are suggested in long roving perspectives of ocean, black swelled, in slow undulation, each whaleback swell plated in armour-hard brilliance with the moonlight clanking along it . . .
• The second half of Michael Ende's Neverending Story, where things get stranger! I remember the hand-shaped castle with eyes and the city of amnesiac former emperors and the miserable ugly worms who cry all the time out of shame then create beautiful architecture with their tears...
• The Gray House, Mariam Petrosyan. This is the one I had in mind when I talked about a 'museum of the strange, but one you wouldn't want to be trapped in after closing time'. Another book that made me feel uncomfortable in a similar (good) way was Edward Carey's Observatory Mansions, the protagonist of which is a man who curates an odd private museum and can't stand the sight of his own hands.
• Oh, speaking of uncomfortable, and hands—He Digs A Hole, by Danger Slater. To me this book was in the more-odd-than-good category but I liked its refusal to have a coherent philosophical meaning. It's about a man who can't sleep so he goes to his garden shed and saws off his hands and replaces them with gardening tools. Then he starts digging a hole. And then it gets weird. (Read at your own discretion if you have a worm phobia; there's some body horror featuring sexually aggressive earthworms. And then it gets disturbing.)
• 17776 — Someone sent me an ask a few years back to recommend this online multimedia narrative to me and I really enjoyed it! Here's the summary, borrowed from the wiki page: Set in the distant future in which all humans have become immortal and infertile, the series follows three sapient space probes that watch humanity play an evolved form of American football in which games can be played for millennia over distances of thousands of miles. The work explores themes of consciousness, hope, despair, and why humans play sports.
• Saint-Glinglin, Raymond Queneau —the author admitted that this book presents some "internal discontinuities." I didn't like it much but I respect the talent it takes to write a novel where everything feels like a random digression, including the key suspenseful scene that matters to the plot. The one digression I loved had to do with the way the narrator is existentially horrified by various sea creatures. It's like he dreads them so much he can't help but think about them when he should be telling a story.
The oyster... This gob of phlegm, this brutal way of refusing the outside world, this absolute isolation, and this disease: the pearl... If I conceptualise them even a little, my terror starts anew. The mussel is even more significant than the oyster and even more immediately admissible in the domain of terror. Let us indeed consider that this little sticky mass whose collective stupidity haunts our piers, consider that it is alive in the same way as a cow. Because there are no degrees in life. There is no more or less. The whole of life is present in every animal. To think that the mussel, that the mussel has, not a conscience, but a certain way of transcending itself: here I am once again plunged into abysses of anxiety and insecurity.
Near the beginning he philosophises about what would happen if a man and a lobster were the only two survivors of the apocalypse. The lobster would break the man's toe and the man would say, "We are the only beings that remain on this devastated Earth, lobster! The only living beings in the universe, struggling alone against the universal disaster, don't you want to be allies?" But the lobster would disdainfully walk away towards the ocean, and "the sight of the inflexible and imperturbable lobster pierces the sky of humanity with its unintelligible claws." (I can't overstate how little this has to do with the rest of the book.)
• Autumn in Beijing, Boris Vian —needless to say the story does not take place in autumn nor in Beijing.* To the extent that it can be said to be "about" something, it's about people trying to build a train station in a desert with tracks that lead nowhere. (I just went on goodreads to check the title, and it's actually called Autumn in Peking in English. I also discovered that it was featured in a list of Books I Regret Reading. I liked this book, but I understand.)
(* French writers love doing this—like when Alphonse Allais said about his 1893 book The Squadron's Umbrella "I chose this title because there aren't any umbrellas of any sort in this volume, and the important notion of the squadron, as a unit of the armed forces, is never brought up at all; in these conditions, hesitating would have been pure madness.")
• The Library at Mount Char, Scott Hawkins—I fear this one makes a little too much sense for this list, but you can't say it isn't weird; and I loved it and recommend it any chance I get.
• The Eleven Million Mile High Dancer, Carol Hill —this book was so wacky and made me laugh. I've not yet managed to successfully recommend it to someone; its brand of odd didn't resonate with the people I know who've read it but that's okay. You could say it's about a woman astronaut whose weird cat disappears into the fourth dimension (or the quantum realm?) and she goes to space to save him—but that makes the book sound more straightforward and less messy than it is. Her cat leaves her a note before he disappears:
• The Bald Soprano, Ionesco —fun fact, there's a tiny theatre in the Latin Quarter in Paris where this absurdist play has been staged every night for nearly 70 years, with the exact same set design and costumes and everything, like the actors are stuck in a time loop. They celebrated the 20,000th performance this year! There's an actress who has been playing her character for 40 years and said joining this theatre was like joining a religion. I've been going to see this play as a New Year tradition with my best friend since we were 14, so I love it madly, though I wouldn't say it's good, necessarily—the author said it was about "absolutely nothing, but a superior nothing."
• Statuary Gardens; or Les Mers perdues (apparently not translated) by Jacques Abeille. This man is obsessed with weird statues. Unfortunately I find his writing style rather dull—I feel like he takes strange ideas and makes them feel mundane in a bad way...! But his books still have a nice, quiet, oneiric atmosphere, and images that stayed with me, like a solitary gardener trying to grow stone statues in the depleted soil of a walled garden. Here are some illustrations from the second one:
I'll look into some of the books recommended on my previous post! (and I agree with the people who brought up Cortázar, Borges, and Junji Ito. <3) Some potentially-odd books I have on my to-read list: Clive Barker's Abarat, Goran Petrović's An Atlas Traced by the Sky, Salvador Plascencia's The People of Paper, Jean Ray's Malpertuis; Jan Weiss's The House of a Thousand Floors; Brice Tarvel's Pierre-Fendre.
#ask#book recs#i know i've made some of these sound barely readable but it would be risky to oversell them#it's funny how indignant i felt when i first thought that saint-glinglin didn't exist in english translation even though objectively it#wouldn't have been a huge loss and i don't think english speakers are clamouring for more crustacean existentialism after sartre's lobsters#but they should get to choose not to read this book!
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TT: I guess I could wake back you up, if you really want. […] TT: But you have to promise to stay put. TT: Don't try to stop me. Just let it go.
You stole his martyrdom with a ball of yarn. Do you really, honestly think he won't do the same for you?
The second that Dave emerges from this bubble, he’s going to do everything in his power to try and save your life. I know it, he knows it, and you know it, and that’s why you’re dragging this out so much. You know he won't let you go, but you're convinced that he needs to.
TT: It really makes no sense for you to go. This was never your preoccupation. TT: They selected me a long time ago.
And you’re deep within in their domain, now, so I'm sure their voices are clearer than they've ever been before.
Maybe the Horrorterrors believe this death is a necessary sacrifice – but that’s easy for them to say, isn’t it? They’re not the ones risking their lives, here – and, honestly, you might be risking your afterlife, too. If anything could obliterate you without leaving a ghost, it’s a Green Sun supernova.
TT: Yes, they helped you chart a path through the Ring. And they will open that path for a pilot they have marked. TT: I believe I fit the description. I'm not sure about you.
You believe you fit the description?
So all that talk about how the gods 'selected' you is complete bullshit, then, because you’re just fucking guessing. You're hoping, because the one apparent alternative is unacceptable to you.
Rose, please think this through. Think about the situation you’ve been maneuvered into, and who’s been doing the maneuvering. Consider whether this dichotomy you've been trapped in is real, or manufactured – and consider the possibility that you don’t have to let your loved ones die, or die for them.
TG: why do you think that TT: I am the pilot. That's all there is to say on the matter. TG: but i dont want you to die
When I’m reading these characters’ lines, I often imagine I'm hearing their voices.
TT: Help John and Jade. TG: this isnt right
This is the first time I’ve pictured Dave’s voice cracking.
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It's a day like any other, or so you think. There's nothing remarkable about it, the boss has an after-hours server update scheduled, but for you there's nothing really remarkable about it since you're not on the team for that project. It seems, in fact, like an ordinary day. IT really runs the company. The C-suite? They think they run it, but they're so clueless about the architecture their power is built on, you have more job security than a tenured professor at an ivy league school. You get all manner of calls from all across the company because people without a lick of computing sense get hired and fired on such a regular basis you don't even remember the names of the people who started on the same day as you.
Except for IT, nearly everyone in that department is secure in their job because to ordinary people, you're wizards. And everyone knows you don't mess with the wizard. They can make sure your email gets to you that contains the estimate from the vendor that will make or break your career with the company...or they can take a long lunch because you pissed them off. Yes, everyone knows not to mess with IT.
You hear the grumblings, of course. People upset they can't check their personal email on their work computer, people pissed they can't look up their fantasy football numbers if they're on the company's wifi, but they know they're powerless before you. And you like it that way. The artists you went to school with are all struggling at their coffee shop or fast food jobs, the business majors are doing the crabs-in-a-bucket thing they like making analogies for, and the women who swore they'd be the change they wanted to see in the world by getting into IT all found other jobs that weren't so full of men who questioned their worth.
Your life is pretty good, your job is secure, but your peace of mind is done...you just don't know it yet. Because something happened somewhere else in the company that will shatter that peace you think you've made for yourself.
And it starts with an on-boarding ticket.
You don't think much of it, it's pretty standard stuff for a new hire. You set up their account up, filling in all the right fields and checking all the right boxes and call it done.
Then the next day you get a support ticket. You don't connect it to the on-boarding ticket at first, but it's a request for updating the email and signature information for an account that was apparently made in error. Curious, you check it out and discover that the name the user wants to use isn't their actual name, it's some off the wall hippy-dippy looking name with a weird spelling. Same last name though, so you're pretty sure it is, indeed, the person the email account is registered to. Well, company policy is to use the person's legal name on all correspondence, so you copy the boilerplate from the company manual and close the ticket.
An hour later, the ticket is reopened with HR being CC'd on the correspondence. Shit, the user is a transwoman. Company policy has an exception that allows people to use their preferred name and pronouns in company correspondence as long as Accounting, Payroll, and Legal have their legal names on file. You make the correction and close the ticket.
It's quiet for a bit after that. In fact, it's too quiet. You don't really notice it at first, after all there's always something to do, and when you run out of those things you can use your Admin rights to run one of those games you don't allow anywhere else on the network or access one of those sites that aren't permitted by the company firewall because it's good to be the king, amirite? But suddenly you start realizing you're feeling a bit like the Maytag Man. Users aren't sending in tickets to get their passwords reset or make their mouse work. In fact, the number of times the C-suite has told someone on the team to come up to their office has dropped, too.
Then the tide starts to turn...and you're getting asks both in tickets and during meetings from your boss, "We have a new procedure we're doing, it's going to eliminate the use of email for a certain process and we need you to set up xyz so this team has proper access." What's xyz? Damned if you know, you've never heard of it. You look it up and it turns out to be an older piece of collaboration software based on some open source project you've never bothered learning, but it's still being supported by the vendor (some guy who retired 10 years ago but keeps the software running for funzies) and the community. Whatever, your job is to install the software, make it work, and then handhold the PEBKACs until the crying and whining stops.
Only...the crying and whining doesn't even start. In fact, the only real problem is because...someone on your own team fucked up the roll-out and your boss got chewed and the guy who fucked it up is on notice. "Assuming IT knows the business better than the people who run it," they said. Can you imagine? The villagers questioning the wizards?
The trend continues. IT getting fewer calls, your job becoming less and less easy and more stressful as things that used to fly under the radar are being scrutinized. Forget playing that MMO on your lunch break, you're stuck playing some F2P game on your phone because someone pointed out that the firewall ports for the game were wide open and were only really used by that one game.
Nobody's been able to find the snitch, but it has to be someone in IT, right?
More and more the job becomes less and less fun as you feel the power shift from IT, who used to be the unquestioning masters of the software the business could run, back to the leadership teams of the various departments, and all under the watchful eye of the people in the highest positions of power in the office.
Then one day, one fateful day so disconnected from the day that everything changed you don't, at first, recognize the moment for what it is, you get a call from an office on the second floor. It's one of the "hotel" suites for employees who work from home but need to be in the office occasionally. It seems that the employee is trying to use a docking station that has a busted Ethernet port. They can't connect to the network so can't send a ticket the usual way.
Of course, it's not actually the Ethernet port, it never is. So you have them go through all the steps to get their computer conne...it's not connecting. Okay, so you have them unplug and plug it all ba...they said they just did all that and it's still not working. Including the Ethernet cable? Yes, including the Ethernet cable. You realize you're going to have to go up with a new docking station just in case, in the wild possibility, this user is right. You'll be right up, sir. They remind you of their pronouns. Oh, right, the user is a transwoman. You'll be right up, ma'am.
You get there and realize that the voice doesn't do them justice. They're professionally feminine and femininely professional. They're wearing nice clothes that you couldn't normally be assed to notice, but this is your first transwoman you've encountered in the wild, and you expected a walking stereotype, not someone that looks like they could have stepped off a cover of some business quarterly magazine. Her makeup is on point, her workstation is a touch messy and has a couple of nods to portable personalization. There's an anime figurine right next to her cell phone, which is in a pink, sparkly case. The moment you enter, she locks her computer, showing an incredibly good eye for InfoSec that you don't normally see in users, and you notice the lock screen on her computer has a background showing Tux the Penguin.
Later, you realize that this was the red flag that should have been your clue that your comfortable career with the company was long gone.
You do the usual check to confirm that everything she said she did had been done, test the docking station and confirm that, yes, the Ethernet port is, indeed bad. You set about replacing it and strike up conversation. When did she start with the company? Oh, that many months ago? What does she do? Oh, she specializes in finding solutions to processes that cost the company too much money. How long has she been doing that? Oh, a few years now, it was a bit of a career change but she's honestly enjoying it, finding a sense of purpose she never expected after her late in life change of path. What did she do before?
And that's when she says something that makes the blood in your veins run cold and the hairs to stand up on the back of your neck.
She used to be in IT, before her transition. She was pretty good at it, specializing in InfoSec and malware wrangling, but when she came out and transitioned suddenly she wasn't welcome in the boy's club (her exact words) anymore and needed to find something new for her own well-being and mental health.
She says this with a tiny, ever so slight smile on her face, but the look in her eye is predatory. She knows what kind of terror she struck in you in that moment. She knows because she's been there before.
She knows that the worst enemy of any IT department...is someone who used to work in IT.
You do your best to keep the chatter friendly (don't show your fear) and remove the faulty docking station and scurry back down to your cooler-than-the-rest-of-the-building office where you let the fight or flight response work its way through your system. You wonder how you're going to tell the rest of the team.
You all may be wizards, but a goddamn dragon has claimed her territory.
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MC Persona Chart Observations III
All pictures are mine @uyuforu.
Other posts you could like:
જ⁀➴ Astro Observations X Career Edition
જ⁀➴ MC Persona Chart I
જ⁀➴ MC Persona Chart II
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ʚɞ Sun 7H usually indicates you"ll do a job in the creative field. If you also have Sun Leo 7H, you'll do a job in the movie field, you'll work for the cinema industry, or anything relating to acting and movie.
ʚɞ Moon 4H means you need to feel comfortable at work to work properly, you'll perhaps also want to work from home, or work with family? or work with people who feel like family, work in an environment where you trust people and know them already too perhaps.
ʚɞ Mercury 7H means you'll mostly talk about art, something creative at work. You can talk communicate well, nicely, and with fairness at work. You could also find way to make anything you write or create at work, like imagining, in a romantic or poetic style.
ʚɞ Venus 8H can mean you could be obsessed with your job, you could love it sometimes, but also hate it sometimes. It may depend a lot on a lot of circumstances. You could also like that what you do is "secretive", perhaps your work needs to stay hidden during the process, and you enjoy this.
ʚɞ Mars 5H means you can have a lot of imagination at work, a lot of creativity. Perhaps in your work, the one who comes with the most creative project "wins". It can also be a source of stress for you.
ʚɞ Jupiter 10H could mean you could gain a lot of popularity and reputation if you succeed in your job, perhaps even celebrity. You could eventually become famous at your job for your work.
ʚɞ Saturn 2H could mean there are obstacles in the stability of your work. It can be about your financial stability, but also in general. It's not the usual 9-5 job, it may be the kind that works while there is a project going on. It's considered unstable at least. You could also struggle with money somehow. Doesn't mean you gain nothing, it means that there may be a lot of deals with money as well and it's "complicated".
ʚɞ Pluto 10H means your reputation, popularity will drastically change because of your job.
ʚɞ Juno 9H can mean you could teach your FS a lot about your work, and they can also teach you some things about it. You could share ideas with them, talk about it with your work. They can also inspire you, like a muse. You could often be away from your spouse because of work.
ʚɞ Scorpio MC can mean you'll have a very deep and mysterious reputation at work. People can know you for your work yet not really know much about you personally. You could enjoy not being totally known, it gives a sense of mystery, and you could also keep some privacy this way.
ʚɞ Capricorn Rising means people can see you as someone who is in charge at work, someone who decides, someone who has responsibility. They can see you as cold, serious, and you could also expect a lot from others. They can also feel like you have some authority. People at work may respect you a lot.
ʚɞ Aquarius 2H means you'll gain a lot of original ideas from working, you could also gain online popularity, or meeting more friends as well. You could also gain a wider imagination.
ʚɞ Aries 3H can mean you can talk fast at work, you can also need to be the fastest, or think the fastest possible. People and you could talk in passionate way, you at least need to be passionate to do your job. Arguments can happen. People at work can often disagree or find themselves annoyed at unexpected problems.
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ʚɞ Taurus 5H means your job is creative indeed, and it can be more linked to art, beauty, anything that is considered beautiful, and in this case more "physically beautiful".
ʚɞ Gemini 6H means you'll work in a field where ideas, communications, thoughts, imagination, creativity, talking, singing, writing is important. Perhaps a work where you need a lot of ideas, a lot of thinking, and you could also need to have a lot of knowledge as well.
ʚɞ 1H Ruler in 2H means you could glow up during your career, you could also be seen as rich, or wealthy, more than what you are.
ʚɞ 7H Ruler in 4H can mean you can work or have contracts with your family. Sort of like a family business.
ʚɞ 3H Ruler in 5H can mean you'll def need to use your imagination at work, and you could often talk more about ideas, creative projects than anything else at work.
ʚɞ 5H Ruler in 8H means you could keep your creative ideas to yourself, as private, not spoiling anything to people outside the office, or the job. You could also be obsessed with finding ideas, constantly thinking of creative ideas.
ʚɞ 6H Ruler in 7H means you could work with different contracts, you could also have a job that required to have a project to continue working. When the project ends, the work is over as well.
ʚɞ 10H Ruler in 10H means your reputation at work is very important, having a good reputation at work is very crucial for you.
ʚɞ Chiron 8H means you job can be sometimes toxic for you, you could also be obsessed with your job and it can be too much sometimes. You may struggle from taking a break from it too.
ʚɞ Jupiter conjunct Part of Fortune means you have a lot of chances to eventually become famous because of your job. At least you'll attract good contracts and good things, good attention through your job.
ʚɞ Jupiter conjunct MC is very similar to the one above, but it def focus more on the popular/ famous part.
ʚɞ Mercury sextile Venus means you can often have romantic ideas in your job, or poetic, beautiful ideas. You could also work often with aesthetics, or making something look good, having to imagine something that looks beautiful or that sounds beautiful. If you write things, you could often focus on writing things that touch people.
ʚɞ Part of Fortune 9H means you could have a lot of foreign opportunities because of your job, you could also have a lot of opportunities to learn a lot of different things through your job.
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Breaking Trust. ˚➶ 。˚
protective!Rafe Cameron x reader warnings: swearing, guns and firing into the air/ground, aggressive anger, anger issues, MDNI: fingering, p in v, praise summary: "You only noticed Rafe when he was storming down to the sandy bonfire, gun in hand." based on this request! thank you so much!
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You were perched like a porcelain doll on Rafe’s lap as the two of you watched a new movie on the TV. His hands were massaging the back of your head softly as his eyes were glued between your thighs and the screen itself. You were squinting at the captions, trying to not ask too many questions. It was your fault, anyways. You let Rafe put on a boring war movie that was three hours long. That alone should show how much you love him.
After thirty minutes into the movie, your phone subtly pings on the spot it was laying on the coffee table. You peered down casually, not drawing Rafe’s attention. The message on the dim screen was from the pouge’s group chat that you had just recently been added to. Without Rafe’s knowledge, of course. Your boyfriend, king of the kooks, had it out for any pouge that came within a mile of his perfect girlfriend. If it was up to Rafe, you would be in your own museum and displayed in a pretty box, for him and only him. In his words,
“I don’t want the dirt on my shoes touching my pretty girl.”
Of course, this phrase was only spurred on because you got shoulder checked by a guy from the cut. You barely blinked before Rafe made sure he couldn’t move to get in your way again. That being said, if your boyfriend found out you were in a group chat with pouges, he just might lose it.
“I gotta pee baby.” You said softly, faking a squirm as you got up quickly and grabbed your phone. You looked down, seeing Rafe’s small pout. You giggled, kissing his cheek, “I’ll be back, promise.” Rafe nodded and watched your ass sway as you walked into the bathroom, his eyes glued to something new now. You closed the door quickly, scrolling through the messages.
JJ: Beach?
JB: when
JJ: idk like 11
Kie!: kk
Pope: Sounds good.
You felt nervous and a little out of place, but you still wanted to go. Hanging out with the pouges gives you the sense of adrenaline that you’ve been craving for longer than you realized. Your thumbs were shaking and your body was quick with nerves as you typed out your third ever message in the chat.
Me: perf!
Maybe it was too girlie or too kook-y. Were they even talking to you? What if they forgot they added you? Before you could come up with another scenario in your head;
*JJ liked your message*
A sigh of relief left your body and a wave of excitement stuck to your chest. All that was left was figuring out a way to avoid Rafe and make sure he’s not suspicious of you leaving so suddenly.
“Baby, are you okay?” His voice gently yells across Tannyhill.
“Yeah!” You replied, trying to not sound as frantic as you felt.
With a forged sense of causality, you walked back into the living room. The sound of your feet against the hardwood spurred Rafe’s attention and he turned over his shoulder to see you.
“What took so long?” He asked, a slight concern in his tone. “My girlfriends texted, they want to hang out!” You said, coming up with the obvious lie on the spot.
“Which ones?” Rafe asked, cocking his head.
“You know.. Kenna and Eliza!” A smile plastered on your face. You’ve never been good at lying.
Something about Rafe felt different as he shrugged and told you to have fun. Thinking you made it out, you ran up to his room to re-apply some makeup and grab a change of clothes to wear at the beach. A bikini was in your sights and you grabbed it, along with a draped skirt and one of Rafe’s sweaters. Shoving everything into a beach bag, you headed back downstairs.
“Where ya goin?” Rafe asked, towering over you now.
“Beach!” You replied, looking up at him with wide eyes.
“It’s 10:30 at night baby, are you sure?” He gently pushed, his arms coming up to hold your shoulders with concern.
“Yeah, I promise!” You kissed his cheek and brushed past him, “I love you!”
“I love you too.” Rafe sighed, obviously stressed about the abrupt change in plans.
With a surprising lack of resistance from your boyfriend, you got into your car and began to drive down to the cut, meeting the pouges at their normal spot on the beach. You grinned as cheers were heard when you showed up, a bonfire already being started. Kiera met you in the sand, a beer in her hand as she slurred her laughter.
“Hi Kie!” You giggled with her, beginning your walk down to the fire.
JJ and John B met you with a beer and marshmallows, encouraging you to make s’mores. The fire grew throughout the night and you drunkenly ran around with them. The sand kicked at your feet as you ran from JJ after stealing his knife and the water drenching you and Kie when she convinced you to run into the waves. Pope talked to you with the others, and you mindlessly listened to his rants as you traced drawings in the sand, John B’s towel wrapped around you. Your lack of observance was a weakness. Throughout the excitement and exhilaration, you failed to notice Rafe’s truck parked at an overlook, with your boyfriend inside. His eyes were on you as you drank and forgot about anything besides what was keeping your attention that second.
When you had left the house originally, Rafe was concerned. He had his original suspicions, so he reluctantly let you leave. Topper and Kelce had invited themselves into Tannyhill once they realized your car wasn’t there anymore, but they instead found Rafe watching your location intently. After some comically deep discussions, Topper had convinced Rafe to follow you. Admittedly, this was an easy thing to convince him of. Rafe’s keys were in his pocket the moment you left. He drove with urgency, seeking you out. Rafe told himself that he was just worried about your safety. At the beach this late, the sneaker waves could grab you in a second. Deep down, he knew that there was a lack of trust, and he needed to talk to you about it. You only noticed Rafe when he was storming down to the sandy bonfire, gun in hand.
“Get away from my fucking girl!” He yelled, firing a warning shot into the air.
Confrontation sparked instantly as you tried to beg Rafe to not do anything he would regret while the pouges taunted him like it was a game. Your heart broke on the betrayal from either side. Rafe’s constant threat through the bullets in his gun and the lack of protection or awareness from the others was giving you anxiety. Your boyfriend didn’t play pretend when it came to you.
“Rafe.. Rafe please! Put it down!” You begged, tugging on his bicep.
“You brought them this.” He responded, firing a shot into the sand.
“Fuck you Rafe!” JJ spat on the dent the bullet made.
Tears flooded your eyes as neither group let up. You felt utterly hopeless and all to blame. The only thing to divert the attention of everyone was the soft sound of sirens and the illumination of quick-approaching lights. Rafe pulled you along with him, forcing you into his passenger seat with a subtle undertone of gentleness, not wanting to hurt you badly. The tires dragged through the sand as your boyfriend sped away, driving back to Tannyhill.
The air in his truck was thick with anger and anxiety. Rafe’s lack of words were enough to speak for themselves. You stared out the window in disbelief, trying to push everything away.
The truck parked at Tannyhill and Rafe got out, slamming his door before coming to the other side, picking you up from the car and carrying you into the house with a sense of annoyance. Rafe took you up to his room with little protest and sat you down on the bed.
“What the fuck?” He asked, obviously hurt by your lies.
“Rafe m’so sorry baby I-“ You began the apology rant you prepared in the car, but he cut you off.
“I trusted you. Why the fuck did you lie?” He said, scoffing at your tears, “Don’t start with me. Tell me.” “You hate them!” The words flew from your mouth, “They are my friends and I still want to hang out with them but you hate pouges! For no reason!” Your voice was rising without you realizing.
Rafe groaned in anger, “That’s a good enough reason on its own!”
“Not to bring a gun!” You yelled, emotions running high.
In an instant, he shoved your makeup off the dresser and onto the floor, shattering the pretty pink Miss Dior bottle he bought for your anniversary.
“Stop!” You sobbed, crumpling into the bed.
“I’m fucking done! You can’t keep pulling this shit!” Rafe yelled back, storming out of the room.
The strong scent of the perfume gave you a pounding headache. You crawled off of the bed and staggered into the bathroom, laying in the empty bathtub to escape the scent. You fell asleep quickly, the emotional and physical exhaustion sweeping your feet. There was no signs of Rafe as your eyelids became heavy and protested the bright bathroom light. The curled position you had pulled yourself into was the same one you fell into a deep sleep in.
Soft mutters and shaking movements awakened you slightly, hours later. Rafe cradled you in his arms, kissing your forehead. The bedroom no longer smelled like the shattered bottle of perfume, implying that he had come back in and cleaned up the mess he had made.
The blankets were a glorious feeling as he helped you into bed, wrapping his arms around you.
“M’sorry.” Rafe whispered, falling asleep with you in his arms. You were quick to follow, escaping reality to sleep.
The sun shined through your window, just as bright as the moon was the night before. Your boyfriend laid next to you, kissing your arms softly. The gentle movements woke you up, and once he realized this, he began to apologize.
“Baby I’m so sorry.” He whispered, holding your chin to lock your gaze on him, “I overreacted.” “I’m sorry too.” You responded, tearing up and collapsing into his arms, “I broke your trust. I should’ve just talked to you.” “Shh.. s’okay.” Rafe reassured, his hands playing with your hair subconsciously, “I let my anger get the best of me. I shouldn’t have.”
You laid in his arms, feeling more alive than you did with the pouges the night before. “Let me make it up to you?” Rafe whispered, pulling you up and kissing your neck gently. You giggled before gasping at his cautious hickeys.
His hand wandered to the hem of your panties, playing with them to tease you. Your anticipatory moans lead him forward, getting on top of your desperate body.
“Rafe.. please..” You mumbled, grabbing out for him.
“Be patient, love.” He whispered, kissing down your legs after stripping you of your panties and top.
Your lips met one last time before you felt his fingers softly rub circles into your clit. You moaned out for him, holding onto his bicep for any kind of stability.
“R-rafe..” You whimpered.
“So wet f’me.. swear you get sexier every day. Just don’t wanna share my girl.” He mumbled, kissing your neck.
“Close..” Your eyes rolled back, dumb on his fingers alone.
“No baby..” Rafe chuckled as you whined at the loss of his hand, “You’re going to cum on me, yeah?” The moan you cried out was pornographic as he slowly dragged his hard cock through your walls.
“Always so fuckin’ tight.” He groaned, fucking you slowly and deep. Rafe felt your every clench and spasm, speeding his pace up with ease.
“Too- too much..!” You cried, drunk off of pleasure as he fucked you on his cock.
“No baby.. you got it. Be good.” He whispered, feeling you coming closer and closer to edge, “So perfect.. like you were fuckin’ made f’me.”
“Close!” You cried out, the rest of your mind consumed with the pleasure he was fucking into you. Your body trembled as you came, shaking underneath him and clenching around his cock. He groaned, gripping your hair and burying his face into the crook of your neck as he came inside of you.
Rolling off of you, Rafe laid lazily beside you. He turned his head after a few minutes, kissing you on the cheek and getting up from the bed, despite your lazy protests.
“Gotta get you cleaned up..” He said, his tone soft and careful as he wiped you down with a warm cloth.
Rafe showered your spent body in kisses before pulling you up and carrying you downstairs to the couch, kicking the forgotten cap of your broken perfume bottle under the dresser.
“Gotta get you new perfume, hm?” He said, kissing your cheek and letting you snuggle into his lap on the couch.
Rafe turned on the TV, resuming the same movie from last night. You groaned, rolling your eyes and burying your face in his bare chest.
“You love me.” Rafe said with a chuckle, kissing the top of your head.
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#mariespen#outer banks#rafe cameron#obx fic#rafe cameron x you#rafe obx#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe imagine#rafe drabble#rafe smut#obx smut#obx season 4#outer banks fanfiction#obx fanfiction#obx4#jealous!rafe cameron#jealous rafe#rafe fanfiction
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Worth The Fight: Swoon Worthy
Masterlist: Here
CW: Language, pregnancy things, minor anxiety, jealousy and per usual a bit of arguing and angsty bits.
A/N: I’m so glad y’all are enjoying this story! It makes me so happy, now don’t be mad okay? It’s gonna be fine just hold on a bit longer I swear Harry is getting it together. Also this chapter is a mix of texts and a one shot yall will have to tell me how you like it?
Tag List: @kookjipao @msolbesg @lomlolivia @namoreno @outofthisworl-d @mema10 @watarmelon212 @natykn @sassamanda77 @st-ev-ie @ghayda0 @hannah9921 @indierockgirrl @chaoticthoughts2022 @lizsogolden @gmikaelson @styleswithaseaview @sofaritsalrightt @babegoals @fangirl509east @one-sweet-gubler @stylesftcher @umadirectioner @last-saturday-night @montgomery-929496 @laughterismytherapy
Summary: You meet Anne and have a super tiny casual run in with someone else and Harry says some a lot of things that he shouldn’t✨
You smile at Nick when he opens the door for you and helps you out of the car, you adjust your purse strap on your shoulder as you look around and notice you’re outside the front gate of a house and not a restaurant. You feel your brows pinch together as you reach into your bag to grab your phone so you can call Harry to make sure you’re at the correct place because why would you be meeting his mom for lunch at some random house and not a restaurant? But before you can find your phone the sound of the gate opening up makes you lift your head just in time to see Harry making his way towards you.
“Harry this is someone’s house.” He just laughs as he gives a nod and a wave to Nick who is still standing behind you.
“You’re so observant. Can’t get anything past you huh?” You roll your eyes as Harry runs a hand through his hair. “Come on you’re already late let’s not keep her waiting any longer.” He says with a smirk that you instantly want to smack off his face as he stands to the side allowing you to walk in front of him.
“Is this your-”
“No it’s not my house it’s my mom’s.” He informs you as the two of you walk up the driveway. “As much as I adore my mother I am a bit too grown for her to be crashing in my guest room when she visits and she likes to spend a good amount of time here so this just made the most sense.” He adds as the two of you make it to the bottom step of her porch.
“It’s lovely.” You tell him with a smile as you look at the exterior of the house, Harry watches you look around for a moment before he walks up the three steps to the front door leaving you near the bottom step looking at a rose bush his mother’s has planted in her flower beds.
“Oh I forgot to mention-” Just as you look up from the rose bush you see the front door open behind him and you feel as if everything after that happens in slow motion. You watch Harry turn and smile at the man who walks out of the door, he quickly gives him a hug and you think you hear something about seeing each other soon but you’re not really sure because right after that you find yourself staring into a very familiar pair of blue eyes as the man stands at the top of the steps and is looking down at you with a warm smile.
“Hello.” His accent is thicker in person than it is when you hear it coming from the television in your living room when you, your neighbor and Paris watch The Voice. He gives you a wave as he makes his way down the steps. “You alight love?” He asks with a hint of concern when he notices you haven’t said anything or moved from your spot in front of the rose bush.
“Uhm hi-you’re uh-uhm hi.” You don’t know if what came out of your mouth were actual words or not but either way it earns you a small chuckle as he reaches a hand out and gently places it on your arm.
“Hi. Lovely to meet you.” He says with a smile before he drops his hand from your arm and you find yourself reaching for the spot he just touched as he turns his head to look at Harry over his shoulder.
“See ya H! Text me about a round next week.” And with that he gives you one more glance and a little nod before he makes his way down the driveway towards the gate. You find yourself turning around and watching him leave and it’s as if he can feel your eyes on him because right before he walks through the gate he looks back and gives you another wave and a smile causing a dreamy sounding sigh to escape you as you just stare in the direction that he walked off in.
Harry watches the whole interaction with a clenched jaw and a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, he’s not sure what it is because never in all the years he’s known his band mate has he ever felt this way while watching him simply meet someone for the first time. He’s watched people practically throw themselves at the man and yet he finds himself more bothered by the way your eyes lit up at and how your cheeks got all pink with just a little greeting and a smile from his Irish friend and he doesn’t like it one bit.
“Do you need a moment?” Harry’s voice snaps you back to reality as you turn and face the front of the house. He has his arms crossed over his chest as he stares down at you with a raised brow.
“That-that was Niall Horan.” Your voice is still a little shaky from the shock of seeing him up close and personal as you point down the driveway towards the gate Niall left through. “He’s so pretty.” You mumble as you look at the spot on your arm that he touched while Harry rolls his eyes and lets out a scoff.
“Really?”
“What? He is.”
“I’m not arguing with you about that I’m just seeing if you’re done swooning over one of my best mates or do you need a few more minutes to wipe the drool off your chin?” You just send him a glare as you make your way up the steps. You know you could’ve handled meeting him a bit better but you weren’t at all prepared and you’re extremely emotional so honestly Harry is lucky you didn’t start crying the moment your eyes met with Niall’s piercing blue ones because they are truly just that pretty in person, the tv doesn’t do them justice at all.
“I wasn’t swooning you don’t even know what that word means.” You state as you make it up the last step and adjust your purse strap making Harry want to let out a groan due to his personal hatred for the black hole you call a purse you lug around everywhere.
“Yes I do it means to swoon.”
“Are you serious? That’s what you think swooning means? To swoon?”
“It doesn’t matter what it means I just know that’s what you were doing with Niall when you got all heart eyes and just stood there with your mouth hung open.”
“My mouth was not hung open don’t be rude.”
“Then-then the sigh when he left? What the hell was that about?”
“It wasn’t a sigh I was just breathing.”
“Oh please I’ve never heard you breathe like that before.”
“That’s because I’ve never swooned over you.” Harry feels his eyes narrow as his hands clench into fits at his sides as you just cross your arms over your chest and stare at him. It’s then that it hits you what’s going on and you feel your brows pinch together as you give Harry a questioning look. “Harry Styles are you jealous of Niall right now?” You watch him shake his head as a deep and almost dark chuckle escapes him.
“Why would I be jealous of Niall? I don’t even really like you enough to be jealous of anyone you find swoon worthy.” Harry regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, he doesn’t know why he said them because he knows they aren’t true. He does like you, how much and to what extent he’s not quite sure but at least enough to feel a small bubbling of jealousy in the pit of his stomach when he saw you gawking at Niall right in front of him.
“Right. Can we go inside now?” You drop your arms from your chest so you can adjust your purse strap as you look away from Harry and towards the front door. Harry lets out a sigh as he runs a hand over his face, he mentally scolds himself for letting his emotions get the best of him and making him to say things that make you practically deflate right before his eyes.
“I’m so-”
“What exactly have you told her about us?” Harry rubs his lips together when you cut off his attempt at an apology and he knows he’s going to just have to add it to the list of things he has to eventually say sorry for whenever you’re finally ready and willing to hear them.
He opens the door and stands to the side allowing you to go in first and when you give him a small close lipped smile as you walk by he catches your eyes for a brief moment and he feels his chest tighten at how exhausted you look. It’s not the kind of exhausted in the sense you could fall asleep at any moment but the kind that shows you’re just emotionally drained and he knows it’s his fault. His words have managed to take the sparkle and light he saw in your eyes earlier when you arrived and were looking at his mother’s rose bushes, leaving behind only a dull glimmer.
It doesn’t help that he knows you’re putting on a brave face because you’re about to meet his mother, something you repeatedly told him you weren’t ready for and instead of listening and trying to work out a better time he just ignored you because for him it’s almost easier to argue and bicker with you than it is to try to talk and come to reasonable conclusions about things. And the thing is Harry just doesn’t know how to stop himself sometimes before he’s saying something stupid and leaving you to deal with the emotional aftermath. Much like he’s doing now as he watches you swallow down your emotions, readying yourself for the task at hand before you look at him over your shoulder with a quirked brow as you stare at him from his mother’s entryway.
“Harry?” You saying his name brings him back to the moment, he’s quick to walk into the house with a playful smile on his face acting like he didn’t just say something extremely hurtful to you a few moments ago as he takes a few steps so he’s standing next to you.
“Oh you know just that we are madly in love and I’m planning on proposing on your birthday which-that’s not today right? Because I’m not prepared at all I don’t have a ring or anything.” He can tell you’re not in the mood for his jokes by the way you just let out a sigh but before he can say anything you just stand up a bit straighter and turn your head so you can look him right in the eyes and that’s how he knows you’re about to say something that’s going to probably hurt his feelings.
“Don’t bother with a ring. I’d never marry someone I don’t swoon over.” You say it so casually but Harry knows there’s an undertone of seriousness to your words, you wouldn’t marry someone like him is what you’re saying and he can’t blame you because right now he doesn’t even think he likes himself very much let alone thinks he’s anywhere close to being marriage material.
“Yeah you deserve a swoon worthy husband.”
“I know I do.”
“I told her the truth.” Harry says finally really answering your original question as he leads you further into the house. “So she knows everything.” He adds as he looks over his shoulder to make sure you’re following behind him, you pause and give him a wide eyed stare as your hand reaches out and grabs his elbow keeping him from taking another step.
“You told her everything?” You ask in a whispered tone making Harry have to hold back a chuckle as he sees panic begin to set in as the thought of his mother knowing all the details of the two of you’s relationship hits you.
“I mean I might have spared her a few minor details about how we actually made the twins but other than that yeah she-she knows everything.” You let out a sigh as you release his elbow and Harry then does something that shocks the both of you, he places his hand on your lower back and in an almost comforting gesture you feel his thumb rub against the fabric of your shirt as he gently guides you into his mother’s living room. “Just relax. She’s going to love you.” Is the last thing you hear him say and before you can even fully react to it you hear the sound of a sliding door opening.
“Oh my goodness.” Harry grins as his mom walks into the living room from her backyard, he takes a step to the side letting his hand fall from your back so he can give you and his mom some room to say hello. “You are just lovely.” You feel your cheeks get warm as Harry’s mom walks over to you with her hands out. “I’m Anne.” You introduce yourself to her with a smile. “Thank you so much for agreeing to this I’m sorry if you ran into Niall on the way in. He just needed some-”
“Oh yeah we ran into him alright.” You turn your head to send Harry a warning glare as Anne grabs your hands giving them a reassuring squeeze while Harry ignores your threatening looks and heads off towards the kitchen.
“He’s always been a bit dramatic so you’ll have to get used to that I’m afraid.” Anne explains as she watches your eyes linger on the back of Harry’s worn out band t shirt before he disappears into the kitchen.
“So it’s not just me that brings this out of him? That’s good to know because I was beginning to think I had something wrong with me that just made him act a little wacky.” You say with a sigh of relief making her laugh as she lets go of your hands and subtly eyes your outfit, you feel embarrassed for a moment wondering if maybe she’ll think you didn’t find this to be an occasion worth dressing up for but then you see her eyes land on your small bump and a grin takes over her features and you instantly see where Harry gets his smile from.
“Come on love.” She reaches for one of your hands before turning around and heading towards the sliding glass door. “Let me show you what I’ve got for you and let me know if anything sets you off okay? I know how smells can be a bit rough during all this.” Harry stands in the kitchen and watches the two of you make your way outside, his mom places your bag down on a chair by the back door before she escorts you outside to the table he helped her set up before you arrived.
“Harry said you’ve been craving jams on toast so I thought this would be a safe thing to start with and he also said you like carrots?” You can only nod as you stare at the table in front of you that has a few plates full of pieces of toast cut up into cute shapes all with different types of jams spread on top of them while one plate has a mixture of vegetables on it with a dip in the middle.
“I do yes-I like carrots and this is wonderful thank you.” Anne smiles as you take a seat at the table, she sits down in the chair next to you and hands you a plate full of the toast and jam so you can have an easier time reaching it. The two of you snack on some toast and vegetables and talk about your work and how long she’s going to be visiting California before a comfortable silence overtakes the table for a few moments.
“I just want you to know that he told me what he did.” Her voice is gentle not wanting to ruin the mood surrounding the two of you as she looks at you with soft kind eyes, you swallow the lump you feel forming in your throat as your hands fall to your lap. “There’s nothing I can say that will undo that kind of damage but I hope you know that I’m so thankful you’re still letting him be apart of this even after-well after all that.” You look away from her and down at the plate in front of you as you feel your eyes start to get watery.
“I’ll always let him to be apart of this for as long as he wants to be apart of this no matter how I may feel about him.” Anne reaches over and places a hand over yours that are resting on your lap and gives them a soft pat.
“I know he comes across as a bit of a uhm well-a bit of an ass but he does seem to care that he upsets you because he’s never called me quite as distraught as he was that night you didn’t let him inside your apartment.” You simply shrug in response as you lift your head and look at the end of the table where you notice a tea pot and some cups.
“That was a rough not for all of us it seems.” You inform her as you place a hand on your bump as you reach for the tea pot but before you can actually grab it you see a very familiar hand with a cross tattoo between the thumb and index finger grab the handle.
“I can do it.” Harry’s voice is softer than you’ve ever heard it before making you blink up at him as he pours some tea into a cup. “You’re not going to want to watch this next part mom. It’s going to upset you.” He warns as he grabs a jar from next to the pot, Anne just playfully rolls her eyes as she watches her son open the jar and reach for a spoon.
“Is that-”
“Peppermint tea and honey? Yes. Is it killing me to make it for you? Yes but I know you like it and it helps with uh-”
“Nausea.” You finish for him resulting in a small nod and what you think is a hint of a smile as he gently places the teacup in front of you.
“Is that enough honey? I don’t know uhm how-how much you like in your uh tea.” Harry asks all of a sudden feeling very unsure of himself as if it just dawned on him that the amount of honey you take in your tea is just one of the many things he doesn’t know about you. You pick up the teacup and bring it up to your nose and take a sniff and Anne covers her mouth to hide her giggle at the way your nose scrunches up and you very quickly place the cup back down on the table.
“Still smells minty.” You explain as Harry raises a brow at you when you don’t answer his question right away.
“Well yeah it’s peppermint tea.”
“Yeah but I don’t like peppermint tea that’s why I add honey.”
“You-you don’t like peppermint tea?”
“Not really.”
“You’ve been ruining a perfectly respectable tea with honey and you don’t even like it?”
“Perfectly respectable? What kind of tea do you think isn’t respectable?”
“I don’t like lavender tea. Now really why do you drink something you don’t even like? There are so many other nausea remedies you know that right?”
“I’m aware but this one is easy and it tastes fine when I add a lot of honey.” Harry just stares at you as you reach for the jar of honey with the spoon still in it, you hear him let out a huff as he grabs it for you and places another heaping spoonful into your teacup.
“How does this even help with your tummy if it’s just basically honey and hot water?” He asks as he places the honey back near the teapot before he takes a seat in the empty chair next to you.
“Don’t know and I really don’t care because it works so I don’t question it.” Anne sits back in her chair as she watches the two of you go back and forth over the way you prefer your tea and she has to fight back a smile as she notices the way the two of you stare at each other during the whole exchange. Neither of you break eye contact unless it’s when you reach for something but even then Harry is quick to grab it for you, probably not even aware of what he’s doing but subconsciously wanting to do things for you so he has to take advantage of the opportunities when he can, such as spooning extra honey into your teacup while in the middle of a silly argument.
“So love you’re what? Eleven weeks now?” You turn your attention away from Harry to look at Anne who is looking at you with a warm smile. You nod and take a little sip of your tea and smile when it tastes just like it usually does when you make it or maybe a bit better if you’re being honest. “Have you told anyone yet?” She asks and you hear Harry shift in his seat next to you as he rests his hands in his lap and something tells you that if you were to look over your shoulder at him he’d be messing with his rings.
“Uhm not yet I was waiting till I went a little over twelve weeks or so just to be safe.” You explain as you place your teacup back on the table, she just smiles and nods as you reach for a piece of toast with raspberry jam spread all over it. “I also didn’t know how you uh would want to do that? Like announce it.” You look over at Harry as you speak and he lets out a sigh as he runs a hand through his hair while leaning back into the chair.
“I honestly don’t know if I’m going to.” Harry states just as you take a bite out of your toast, he watches your eyebrows furrow as you try to take in what he just told you.
“What do you mean?” You ask once you finish chewing the bite in your mouth.
“I’m going to go check on the cake.” Anne says excusing herself as she stands up from the table, she gives Harry a look that you miss before she walks inside and the moment the sliding door closes Harry lets out a groan and runs both hands over his face as his head rests on the back of his chair.
“We don’t have to talk about this right now.” You roll your eyes at his attempt to change the conversation, but this might as well be discussed now rather than later when you’re even more pregnant and hormonal which just means you’ll be easier to set off on a crying fit.
“Just tell me what you mean by that Harry. You don’t know if you’re going to announce the fact you’re going to be a dad? People will find out eventually you know that right?”
“I don’t know if I want to announce the circumstances in which made me a dad. If I say I’m about to be a dad then they’ll expect an engagement announcement or some photos of me and some hidden girlfriend or something and that’s not the case with us is it?” You feel the lump return to your throat at his harsh tone making the tip of your nose turn pink as you look away from him and down at your lap while you sniffle.
“Once I announce I have a set of twins on the way and they see us together they’ll know very quickly that we are just two people who hooked up one night and ended up here.” Harry adds as he stands up from his seat and gestures to the two of you with his arms, completely ignoring the way you aren’t looking at him and the way your cheeks are now a bit blotchy and your breathing is shaky, all the clear signs that would tell him you’re crying if he would just stop talking and look at you.
“I always thought I’d be having kids with someone that I loved not someone that I just shared a few too many tequila shots with.” His hands are in his hair tugging at his roots as he closes his eyes and tries to take a few deep breathes so he can calm down, not really sure if it’s the topic itself that has made him so upset or if it’s a lingering side effect from his small bout of jealousy earlier and it’s just now rearing its ugly head.
“Harry Edward Styles.” His mom’s voice coming from behind him makes his eyes snap open as he turns around just in time to see you walk around her and through the back door and into the house. He raises a brow as he turns his head to your seat over his shoulder and sure enough it’s empty, he hadn’t even noticed you left the table.
“I uh-I’ll be right back.” Anne just shakes her head as she crosses his arms over her chest and blocks the door from him when he takes a few quick steps towards it.
“No you’ll go sit down and wait for me to get back.” He just nods and lowers his head before he turns around and goes back to his seat at the table. Anne lets out a sad sigh as she turns around and heads inside to find you.
“It’s okay. We aren’t doing this here. Wait till you get home. It’ll be fine.” Anne feels her heart shatter a little as she hears you mumbling to yourself in the entryway, where she finds you with your bag over your shoulder and your phone clutched in your hand while a steady stream of tears make their way down your cheeks.
“I’m so sorry love.” Her voice is like a warm hug engulfing you as she appears in the entryway, you look at her and before you can say anything she is wrapping her arms around your shoulders and pulling you in for a gentle hug. “Do whatever you need to do for yourself okay? I promise he will respect whatever boundaries you need to set.” She reassures you as she gives you a small squeeze while your arms wrap around her to return the hug.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to stay longer.” You mumble between sniffles as Anne pulls away and she just brushes it off as she places a hand on your shoulder.
“Next time it’ll just be us.” She says with a smile as your phone goes off letting you know your ride is almost there. “Let me know if you need anything okay?” You just nod as she leans in for one more quick hug before she opens the front door for you, she stands there and watches you walk down the driveway and to the gate and she waves when you turn to and look at her before walking through the gate. It’s not until she sees the car you get in the passenger seat of drive off that she turns around and goes back inside.
Harry is chewing on his bottom lip while he waits for his mom to return to the backyard, he keeps replaying the last five minutes over and over in his head and he can’t believe he let himself get so caught up in his little tangent that he didn’t even notice you got up and left the table. He feels horrible because he doesn’t even know why he got so worked up over something so stupid. Because Harry knows he is going to have to tell the world he’s going to be a dad eventually, and he would much rather be the one to do it than to have a photo leaked of him with you leaving Dr. Andrews’s office or out shopping for baby things once the time comes for that. He wants it be something well thought out and personal not some rushed, shot from across the street, horrible angled pap photo that the both of you hate that ends up being how the world finds out about the Styles twins in the making.
His main thing is he just doesn’t want to deal with the questions of who you are because he doesn’t know how to answer them, because who even are you to him right now? Besides the obvious answer being the one doing all the hard work and carrying his children, the one he can’t seem to just have a normal conversation with, but also someone he clearly liked enough to give his actual personal number to and thought was cute enough to ask to have a mid night out romp in the bathroom with. For a moment Harry wishes the two of you could be those people again, the ones who met in that karaoke bar and were just having fun and enjoying each others company, before all the pregnancy chaos happened and he potentially ruined everything. Because something deep inside of him knows that if he just took the time to get to know you and stopped getting in his own way, he’d probably really like you and that kind of terrifies him.
“You are going to ensure that girl has a peaceful and smooth pregnancy from here on out do you understand me young man?” Anne’s stern voice makes Harry sit up straighter and knocks him out of his thoughts as he turns to give her all his attention as she stands at the end of the table with a disappointed look on her face.
“Yes ma’am.”
“You have such a way with words Harry and it’s a blessing as well as a curse because sometimes you just say the most hurtful things.” Harry swallows hard as his mom lets out a sigh and places a hand on her hip.
“I love you and you know I want to support you but I will not allow you to talk to her like that. You need to get your head out of your ass and treat her with a little respect or else you’re going to end up watching your babies be brought into this world over a phone because she won’t want you anywhere near her and that means not being in the delivery room and you’ll never forgive yourself if that’s how it ends up Harry.” He just nods as he feels his eyes begin to burn with unshed tears he can’t seem to blink away at the thought of you being so over him that you don’t even want him in the delivery room, something he would have no choice but to agree to.
“I keep-keep fucking it up.” He admits as he sniffles making Anne take a step over to him so she can place her hands on the tops of his shoulders over the chair. “I don’t know why I just-just keep hurting her.”
“Just give her some time and maybe while you’re doing that you should give your therapist a call?” She suggests as a few tears slip past Harry’s closed eyes as he just nods.
“Okay.” Anne smiles at his agreement and leans down and places a kiss to the top of his head before she gives his shoulders a nice squeeze.
“It’ll be okay Harry you just have to do better starting now.” She tells him before she lets go of his shoulders and heads back inside once again leaving Harry alone at the table in her backyard. He opens his eyes and wipes away the few stray tears that try to make their way down his cheeks, his head turns and his eyes land on your teacup and before he can stop himself he reaches over and grabs it so he can take a sip out of it.
“Still disgusting.” He mumbles to himself as he scrunches his nose while he places it back down on the table before he grabs a piece of toast off your plate. “That’s not bad though.” He says after he takes a bite out of a a piece with your favorite raspberry jam on it.
He sniffles a bit as he leans back in his chair to get comfortable with the toast in one hand and his phone in the other. He lets out a huff as he scrolls through his contacts until he finds his therapists’s number, figuring there no time like the present, ready to put his therapist’s whole “I’m here for you anytime” to the test as he hits the call icon while he takes another bite of your current pregnancy craving. All while trying not to think about what kind of emotional state you’re currently in all due to his irrational and hurtful outbursts because if he’s feeling this horrible and he’s the one who did the talking he can’t imagine how you must be feeling as the one who had to endure the hurtful words.
“So whose house was that?” Ethan, your neighbor who lives directly across from you asks after a few moments of you sniffling and silently wiping your face to try to rid your cheeks of any wetness due to your tears while stopped at a red light.
“Anne’s.” Is all you can manage to say before you feel your bottom lip start to tremble as you look down at your purse in your lap. Ethan just nods as he does his best to not let on to the fact he clearly knows you’re having a breakdown in his passenger seat because he also had to help you into that very same seat because your tears had made everything a little blurry by the time he got to the house to pick you up and you were a half step away from tripping on the curb before he caught your elbow.
“I met Niall Horan.” You mumble as the light turns green and Ethan lets out a chuckle as he lightly shakes his head before making his way down the street.
“How many members of One Direction are you currently seeing?” He jokes and that makes you turn to look at him with a raised brow as you rub your hand under your nose, not bothering to try to be polite and look cute in your current teary eyed and snotty state because Ethan has seen you look much worse.
“None.” You answer as you look down at your lap and place a hand over your bump. “But I did let one of them get me pregnant.” Ethan has to stop himself from accidentally slamming on the brakes as you casually let the information fall from your lips deciding that now is as good a time as any to let your neighbor who is also one of your very good friends know why you’ve been so emotional and a bit cranky lately.
“Please god let it be Zayn.” Ethan half whispers to himself making you reach over with your free hand and playfully swat at his arm with a chuckle making him smile at the sound of your laugh even if it is a bit watery and rough.
“It’s not Zayn.” You say with a playful sadness as Ethan pulls into the parking lot of the apartment complex.
“And obviously it’s not Niall if you just met him today.” You just nod as he pulls into his assigned spot and puts his car into park. You stare out the windshield as he turns to look at you, he lets out a sigh as he reaches over and places a hand on your forearm. “Well if it’s who’s been lurking around our hallway then let’s just hope this baby has your brains.”
“You mean babies.” Ethan’s eyes go a little wide but he’s quick to recover and just nods and lifts a shoulder in a casual shrug at the same time as if what you just said is the most normal thing he’s ever heard come out of your mouth.
“Twins?” You just nod as you look over at him and he gives you a smile that makes you feel like crying all over again but for a totally different reason. “Holy shit that’s-that’s amazing.” The excitement and genuine happiness you can feel practically radiating off of Ethan is the reaction you find yourself wishing Harry would’ve had when he found out instead of the one he gave you that ended with you alone in an exam room.
“You think so?” Ethan just nods as he gives your arm a squeeze. “They are the size of limes right now.” You inform him for no reason other than it’s one of the few facts you have to offer at the moment about the two humans growing in your tummy.
“Limes huh? That’s like my favorite fruit and I’m not just saying that because I’m a bartender.” You playfully roll your eyes at him before he just lets you sit in silence with him for a moment.
“I don’t think he likes me.” You whisper but Ethan is close enough that he hears you and you feel his grip on your arm tighten just slightly making you turn to look him in his green eyes that thankfully aren’t as big and dumb as Harry’s. “Like at all and I actually think he might-he might hate me?”
“Want me to kick his ass? He’s got like six or seven years on me so I’m pretty sure I can take him.”
“You may be younger than him but age has nothing to do with being able to beat someone up.”
“I mean come on he’s Harry Styles how much of a punch can the man pack? Besides I’ll let Paris get him in the ankles and I’ll just deck him in his pretty face and it’ll be easy and over with in a few seconds.” You just stare at him for a minute after he’s done explaining his plan of attack and when he lets out a sigh you know it’s one of defeat as he releases his hold on your forearm and runs a hand through his blonde hair.
“Fine because you’re an amazing neighbor and a good friend I won’t hit him. But I make no promises on being nice to him.” You give him a smile before you begin to unbuckle yourself and get out of the car while he takes the keys out of the ignition.
“Thank you Ethan. For everything.” He just smiles and grabs your purse from you before you can even try to put it over your shoulder and slings it over his as the two of you head inside the lobby of the complex.
“You’re welcome.” You lean into him as he tosses his arm over your shoulder while the two of you wait for the elevator. “I know you’re the one who usually drops the older sister advice on me but I just want to say that if he’s gonna act like a douchebag and make you upset like this all the time then fuck him. You don’t need him. You’ll be okay because I’ll make sure of it.” You know he means every word because Ethan isn’t one to just tell you something like this unless he feels he needs to. The two of you step into the elevator and press the number five before you decide to say anything in response.
“So the younger brother wisdom has finally hit you huh? I was wondering when that would happen. Only took two years of living across the hall from each other.” He laughs as he pulls you closer to his side making you smile. “I do appreciate the advice.”
“I just love and respect you too much to see you put up with bullshit from someone who has a god awful naked mermaid on his forearm.” You give Ethan’s chest a smack as the doors open and he lets you walk out first leading the way to your door. “Also you know old lady Sherry is going to fucking freak when she hears her favorite cat lady is having twins.” Ethan adds as the two of you walk by Sherry’s door and you laugh and nod because she does refer to you as a cat lady because she thinks at your age you should be married with babies not living alone with Paris.
“She’s not an old lady Ethan she’s not even in her sixties yet.” You correct him but he just rolls his eyes and brushes you off as the two of you walk up to your doors. You turn to him as he is digging through your bag that’s still over his shoulder, no doubt looking for your keys.
“I’m in my early twenties so I’m sorry everyone over fifty is old.” He teases as he fishes your keys out and hands them to you before he slides your purse off his shoulder and gently places the strap on top of yours making sure it doesn’t fall off. “So tell me what was he-”
“So much prettier in person.” You answer already knowing who he’s referring to and he laughs at how soft your voice goes as the memory of your brief encounter with Niall runs through your head. “The television doesn’t do him justice at all.” You explain since Ethan is the one you watch The Voice with sometimes along with Paris.
“But he looks so pretty on the screen already? How can he possibly be prettier in real life?” He asks with a quirked brow and you just shrug causing the strap of your purse to fall down into the crook of your elbow.
“Well I’m glad something good happened to you today.” You smile as he leans in and wraps his arms around you in a hug.
“Love you Ethan.” He smiles as he pulls away and you turn to unlock your front door.
“Love you too and please tell your little ankle biting boy that I said hello.” You laugh and just nod as you open your door, you turn around to close it and give Ethan a wave as you watch him walk into his own apartment and he waves back before closing his door.
You let out a heavy sigh as you lock the door and drop your bag at your feet. You hear the sound of a bell jingling and soon Paris is purring at your ankles as he rubs his head along your shins making you smile as you bend over and pick him up.
“Uncle Ethan says hello.” Paris just purrs in response as he nuzzles his head against your cheek as you make your way into the living room. “Oh Paris do I have some news for you.” You say with a sigh as you take a seat on your couch and get comfortable with your feet propped up on the coffee table. Paris moves so he’s resting in your lap with his head against your small bump and you bite your bottom lip as you get ready to spill all the events that happened during the few hours you were gone to him, and you’re thankful he isn’t looking at you because you’re not quite sure you could handle looking into his eyes right now since they remind you too much of the big dumb green ones that belong to the man that made you cry just half an hour ago.
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