#if you remove the whys do you still feel the same way?
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best laid plans | MYG
✧ PAIRING: yoongi x f!reader

✧ SUMMARY: You meet Min Yoongi at a GS25 on a nothing Tuesday. You don't expect him to change your life. You certainly don't expect to change his.

✧ TAGS: strangers to lovers, angst (with a happy—but hopefully realistic—ending), smut, fluff, this is a heavy one so please heed the warnings!

✧ WARNINGS: mental health issues, depression, depressive episodes, suicidal ideation throughout, suicide mentions throughout, implied suicide attempt (sort of?), panic attacks, specifically panic attacks after (consensual!) sex, smoking, recreational marijuana use, vaginal fingering, oral (m. receiving), oral (f. receiving), vaginal sex, mentions of unprotected sex (but no real unprotected sex), MINORS DNI, please do not read this fic if any of these warnings are triggering to you!

✧ AUTHOR’S NOTE:��okay. so... i said i wasn't going to post any more fics until june. and i won't post any more until then after this! i'm still on semi-hiatus! but something happened in my personal life last week, and i couldn't... not get it all out, somehow. so... here's this almost 14k monster. thank you claret @yoonmetogether for beta reading and giving me so much love and support while i was in the process of writing this! i love you! and thank you yoongi, for writing/releasing so far away (and the last) in 2016 and teaching teenage aqua how to stay, even when i didn't want to. and teaching adult aqua the same thing every year since. i hope this fic helps someone. that's why i'm posting it.
P.S. i recognize that i haven't edited my taglist since my hiatus. if you want to be removed, let me know.

✧ WORDCOUNT: 13.6k words

It’s a Tuesday night, which means nothing. Just like Monday meant nothing. Just like Wednesday won’t either.
The buzzing fluorescent lights in the 24-hour convenience store stutter overhead. You’ve been zoned out in the ramen aisle for at least five minutes now, doing the same song and dance you always do. Pretending you’re going to try something different this time, be a little spontaneous. Because you must break the pattern today or the loop will repeat tomorrow, right?
Still, though, your hand hovers over the same one you always get—the spicy one in the black package that scorches your mouth and makes your nose run. But at least it makes you feel something. So, you grab it.
Into the basket it goes, landing beside a bottle of Milkis and a crumpled bag of gummy worms. You sigh, turn around—
—and nearly walk straight into some guy you didn’t even know was in the store.
You both do that awkward side-step thing, freeze, then side-step the same way again.
“Oh. Shit. Sorry,” the guy mutters, voice low and scratchy, like it hasn’t been used yet today.
He’s wearing an oversized hoodie, the drawstrings uneven. His hair, bleach blonde, is tucked messily under a beanie, and there’s a faint line on his cheek from what was clearly a very intense nap. He’s holding a can of cold coffee and a pre-packaged egg sandwich in one hand, clutched between long fingers.
His eyes flick up to yours, and you realize, belatedly, that you’re staring. You should probably move, or say something.
“No, I—sorry,” you say, taking a step back. Your basket clinks against your knee. “Didn’t see you.”
Both of you are still kind of in each other’s way. There’s that weird, hesitant pause where you’re not quite sure who’s supposed to move next.
You clear your throat, nodding at his sandwich. “Midnight craving?”
“Something like that,” he says, eyes flicking down to the ramen in your basket. “You going for pain, huh?”
You blink, then smile a little. You didn’t expect him to be game. “Only the kind I can control.”
That makes him huff a short laugh through his nose. “Hey, no judgment. I’m out here buying coffee at midnight, so.”
You nod toward the sandwich again. “And that. Bold choice.”
“I wasn’t ready to commit to tuna.”
“Fair.”
It feels dangerously like flirting, just for a second. Awkward, clumsy flirting, sure, but flirting nonetheless. But the moment ends just as quickly as it came, like you’ve both run out of things to say at the exact same time.
You awkwardly step in opposite directions after that.
You return to your mission. First, hot water from the machine by the coffee counter. Plastic fork from the stack that’s always slightly sticky. You sit on one of the cracked stools by the window while the noodles steep and sip from your Milkis while staring out at the empty street.
By the time you make it to the register, the guy is gone. You kind of expected that.
He was cute, you think. A year ago, when you were a different girl and sort of had your shit together, you probably would’ve asked for his number. Batted your eyelashes or something stupid like that.
But now? You barely have the energy to brush your teeth most days. You’re certainly not in a place for romance. Not when your big life plan has boiled down to ‘survive one more month.’
So no, you’re not mourning the possible missed connection with the kind-of-cute stranger in the GS25. Just acknowledging it.
But then, when you’ve paid and make a move to shuffle out, the automatic doors slide open—and there he is.
Again. Leaning against the low brick wall, trying to light a cigarette with the wind working against him. The flame sputters out twice before catching.
You could leave. You should. But you linger, and since the street is pretty much desolate, he notices.
“Didn’t mean to loiter behind you,” he says, glancing up.
You shrug. “Didn’t mean to run into you. Twice.”
He waves his free hand dismissively, the other bringing the cigarette to his lips, plastic bag dangling precariously. “No harm done.”
That should be it, probably. End of conversation, end of interaction. Two strangers walk in opposite directions to wherever it is they call home.
But something about the slump in his shoulders, so similar to your own, makes you momentarily brave.
“You got somewhere to be?” you ask, gnawing at your bottom lip.
“Does it look like it?”
It doesn’t. Neither do you.
“Wanna sit?” you offer, gesturing towards the curb. “I’m just gonna eat before it gets cold.”
His eyes widen, like that’s the last thing in the world he expected you to say.
“Uh. Yeah, sure. Thanks.”
You sit. He settles a little awkwardly beside you, pulling the sandwich out of its crinkled plastic. It’s predictably silent between you, but you don’t hate it.
He eats. You slurp noodles.
And eventually, inevitably, you glance sideways.
Okay. He is cute. Decidedly. Maybe even hot, if you caught him on a better day. In a bleary, worn out way. The kind of good looks that sneak up on you, delicate and masculine all at once. Pale skin. Sharp jaw. Soft mouth. You’re not going to do anything about it. Obviously. But… still.
“What’s your name?” you ask around a mouthful of noodles.
“Yoongi.”
You nod. Don’t offer yours yet.
Yoongi takes another bite of his sandwich. Swallows. “You here often?” he asks, immediately grimacing. “God. That sounded—"
“Like a line?” You laugh. “Yeah. It did.”
“Didn’t mean it like that.”
You shrug. “I’ll allow it. Just this once.”
Small talk comes easy after that. You find out he used to live on the other side of the river and only recently moved to this part of the city because of a roommate situation that imploded. You tell him that you only planned to live in your current apartment for a year, until you could afford something better. It’s been three now.
He tells you he’s currently between jobs. You admit you’re technically not sure if you still have your night gig, because your boss hasn’t texted you in three days and you don’t want to ask.
He gives you the remaining half of his sandwich. You pass over your ramen wordlessly, letting him steal a few bites. It’s still awkward, eating so closely with a stranger like this. Sharing your dinner with someone who doesn’t even know your name. But it’s weirdly nice.
When the food is mostly gone, he holds out his cigarette pack. You take one and he lights it for you. You both pass it back and forth in silence for a minute.
“I used to think I’d be famous by now,” he says eventually, exhaling toward the gutter. “Like, not stupid-famous. Just… enough that I wouldn’t be here. You know?”
You nod. You do know.
“I wanted to be a writer,” you offer in return. “But I hate writing. And I hate people who are good at it. And I hate that I still kind of want to do it anyway.”
“I don’t even know what I do anymore,” he says. “I was making music for a while. Then I got tired. Now I sleep too much. Avoid my friends. Pick up shifts at my cousin’s record store when he gets desperate enough to ask.”
“That actually sounds kind of nice.”
He snorts. “It’s not. But thanks.”
You tip your head back, look up at the sky, which is a washed-out navy and completely starless. Seoul smog. “I work part-time at a bookstore that almost exclusively sells erotica. And I cry like, three times a week, minimum. Usually in the bathroom. Sometimes in front of customers.”
Yoongi flicks ash onto the ground. “You win.”
You both sit with it. The warm, awful food. The too-sweet soda and the gummy worms melting in the bag between your knees. The companionship of a stranger willing to share a cigarette and half of his shitty sandwich, whose life isn’t all that different from yours.
You turn your heads at the same time. Your eyes flick down to his lips where they’re sealed around the cigarette. Inhale, exhale. To his long fingers, thumbnail bitten to shit.
He’s really pretty, even like this, in the unflattering light of the streetlamp you’re sitting under. Long lashes and dark eyes that pierce through you. You wonder if his mouth really is as soft as it looks.
He’s looking at your lips, too, you realize. When you catch him, he looks away fast, ears pink.
“This is nice,” he says, staring at the concrete beneath his shoes.
You blink. Then, just as quietly, “Yeah. It is.”
He offers the cigarette again. You take it. Neither of you says anything else for a long time.
✧
The bookstore has been blissfully, predictably dead since you opened this morning. That’s really the only upside of the job—nobody shows up. You could count the regulars on one hand, and half of them only come in to use the bathroom, despite the clearly posted sign that says they can’t.
You’ve developed a theory about it, about the shame that still lingers around buying erotica in person. As if reading about sex is fine, but purchasing it in the flesh is something to feel embarrassed about. You could write a dissertation on it, probably. But you won’t. You don’t write anymore. You just clock in, count the till, and reorganize displays no one looks at.
You’ve already done your morning routine. Opened up. Counted money. Packed a frankly alarming number of online orders (apparently people really love vampire erotica). Now, you’re posted up behind the counter, flipping through a paperback about sexy cowboys with a bright red cover and a title that would make your mother blush.
You’re in the middle of counting how many times the author uses the word member on one page (six, and one was throbbing) when the bell above the door gives its half-hearted ding.
You glance up from the counter, fully prepared to give your standard ‘we don’t have a public bathroom’ spiel, when you see him. Hoodie. Messy, bleached hair. Soft mouth.
Yoongi.
Your mouth actually falls open a little. You eventually gave him your name that night, but you hadn’t exchanged numbers. You didn’t even follow each other on social media. And yet, here he is, bearing witness to you in all of your smut-peddling glory.
“I guessed,” he says, by way of explanation. He sounds a little breathless. “You said bookstore, and there’s like, two in the area. The other one didn’t have nearly enough erotica.”
“So you just… showed up?”
He shrugs, sheepish. “You didn’t give me your number.”
If he wasn’t cute, you might be a little creeped out. He’s lucky he’s got such a nice face. It makes things feel romantic.
“You want something?” you ask, gesturing to the wide variety of bodice-rippers your manager has displayed so proudly at the register.
“Yeah,” he says. “A cigarette. And maybe to talk to you again.”
You exhale through your nose, amused despite yourself. “Come on.”
You lead him through the back, past the haphazard ‘Employees Only’ sign that no one respects. Outside, the alley smells like stale piss. Very romantic, indeed.
Just like Tuesday, he lights a cigarette for you to share. You take it, and he leans against the brick wall, watching you.
“I kept thinking about you all week,” he says suddenly, no preamble. His eyes are fixed on the smoke curling off the end of the cigarette.
You take a drag, the smoke clinging to your teeth. “I thought about it too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You look down at your shoes. “Didn’t think you’d actually show up, though.”
He gives a quiet little laugh, almost self-deprecating. “Honestly, I almost didn’t.”
“So why did you?”
“I don’t know. Stubbornness? Hope? Boredom?” He shrugs. “I guess I just didn’t want to go another week without feeling like something mattered. Even if it’s just a conversation in a piss alley.”
That earns a smile from you. A real one. You pass the cigarette back.
“I don’t know what this is,” he says eventually. “I don’t even know if I’m in a place to have a thing. But I liked talking to you. And I’m tired of not liking anything.”
You look at him. He’s not exactly looking back, more at the space near your shoes. But his profile is soft, a little hopeful.
“I feel the same way,” you say, cheeks hot and heartrate climbing. Something you haven’t felt in a long time—not for good reasons, at least.
He smiles. It’s small, but it feels real.
“You’re gonna give me your number this time, right?”
You dig your phone out of your pocket and hand it to him.
He types in his number one-handed, cigarette dangling from the other, then calls himself so he has yours too. When it buzzes in his hoodie pocket, he hums like that settles something. Like now, technically, you belong to each other in some tiny way.
You take the cigarette back from him. Your fingers brush, knuckles stay touching longer than they should.
“You’re not gonna ghost me now that you’ve won the chase, right?” you murmur.
Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “You think that was a chase?”
You shrug. “It was something.”
For a moment, you just stand there in the alley. The world keeps moving, traffic hums in the distance. Your shitty boss is probably inside wondering why you’ve been gone more than the regulation five minutes.
But you don’t move.
You look at him. His mouth. The cigarette between your fingers. And your body makes a decision your brain is too tired to argue with.
You lean in and kiss him.
It’s clumsy at first. Your lips a little dry, the angle off, but it doesn’t matter. He makes a sound like a surprised exhale against your mouth and then he’s kissing you back, slow and warm and honest.
He tastes like smoke and canned coffee. You drop the cigarette and his hand finds your jaw. Your fingers reach for the edge of his hoodie, twisting in the fabric like you’re worried he’ll disappear if you don’t hold on.
You kiss him again. And again.
You’re not trying to make it romantic, really. You’re not trying to make it anything. It’s just—fuck, it’s been so long since someone touched you like this. Since someone wanted to.
And Yoongi kisses like he wants to be anywhere but alone. Like he gets it.
When you finally pull back, both of you a little dazed, he lets out a quiet, almost embarrassed laugh. “Okay,” he says, voice rough. “So… this is happening.”
You nod, heart hammering. “Don’t make it a thing.”
“I won’t.”
And he kisses you again, one more time for the road, hands on your hips like maybe he needs the grounding just as badly as you do.
Yoongi leaves around the back and you go back inside like nothing happened.
But he leaves with your number, and you can still taste him on your lips.
✧
Weeks pass, but you both take full advantage of having each other’s numbers.
You text mostly during lulls, when you’re hiding behind the register pretending to alphabetize the books, or when Yoongi’s stuck in the back room of the record store sorting the new arrivals.
You never say good morning or good night. It’s not like that. But he sends you photos of weird album art, and you respond with blurry selfies surrounded by piles of books with egregious titles.
There’s comfort in the ease of it. No pressure. Just a quiet thread tying your days together.
You: someone asked if we have a bathroom and when i said no they said “then what do you do?” like they wanted me to shit in front of them for proof
Yoongi: People are the worst. Come work here. The pay is shit but at least no one talks to me
Sometimes you send voice notes instead of typing because you’re too tired, and he never comments on how drained you sound. He just sends one back where his voice is raspy and low and he’s clearly half-asleep but trying anyway.
It’s not dating, but it’s not not dating. You’re not friends, not exactly, but you care, at least a little, about whether he eats. Whether he sleeps. Whether he means it when he says he’s fine.
It’s just whatever the two of you are capable of giving right now. Somehow, that’s enough.
It’s nearly midnight when your phone buzzes.
Yoongi: You up?
Yoongi: Don’t say anything about how that sounds btw
You stare at it for a second. Then you type:
You: i am. what’s up?
You: and yes i’m going to make fun of you anyway
You: is this a booty call
Three dots bubble up and disappear. Once, twice, three times.
Yoongi: I just want to see you
Yoongi: Is that okay?
You sit up, heart doing something inconvenient in your chest.
You could say no. You could ask why. You could point out the hour, claim you have work in the morning. But you haven’t seen him since the day you exchanged numbers (and saliva), so instead, you say:
You: yeah
You: come over
You send him your address. Twenty minutes later, he shows up, in the same hoodie as last time. Holding a plastic bag with canned coffee for him, Milkis for you, and a package of cookies you once mentioned liking in a text two weeks ago.
You don’t say anything at first. He holds up the bag like it’s proof that he should be allowed inside, and you take it with a soft, bemused snort. Then you step aside so he can come in.
He enters like someone trying not to wake a sleeping house—careful and quiet and unsure of what to do with his hands.
You close the door behind him. You both fidget for a second.
“I couldn’t sleep,” he says finally, standing just inside the doorway, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Kept thinking about you.”
Your heart tips, like it’s leaning closer to him whether you let it or not.
“I’ve been thinking about you too,” you admit softly.
And then, because it’s late and you’re lonely and he’s warm and real and here, you kiss him. Again.
It’s immediate this time. No fumbling. No hesitation. Just mouths pressing together like they’re picking up where you left off in the alley behind the bookstore. His hands find your waist. Yours cup his face, thumbs brushing the sharp edges of his cheekbones. You kiss him slow, then faster. Harder.
You don’t think about what it means. You don’t try to label it. You just let yourself feel it—the weight of his body, the sound of your breaths, the sudden, startling relief of being touched.
His mouth trails to your jaw. Your neck. His hoodie bunches in your fists.
When you finally pull back, both of you flushed and breathless, he presses his forehead against yours.
“I like you,” he says quietly.
You swallow around the knot in your throat and nod. “Kiss me again.”
There's a sharpness to the way your mouths move now. You tug at his hoodie, fingers slipping under the hem to touch skin, and he makes a sound against your lips, small and desperate.
Yoongi’s hands are everywhere. Gripping your waist like he’s trying to ground himself, sliding up your back, curling in your shirt like he can’t bear to let go. He presses you up against the door, urgent, and you gasp when his teeth graze the underside of your jaw.
“Fuck,” he mutters, breathing hard. “I’m sorry—I didn’t come here for this, I just—”
“Don’t stop,” you say, voice barely there. “I want this.”
That undoes him a little. You feel it in the way his mouth crashes back to yours, the way he exhales sharply through his nose like he’s already drunk on it. He kisses you hard, lips and teeth and tongue with no finesse.
His thigh slips between yours and you move against it, just enough to chase friction, just enough to let him feel how badly you want this too.
“Jesus,” he whispers, low and raw. “You’re gonna kill me.”
You tilt your head back and let him mouth at your throat, lips wet, sucking a bruise into the skin. Your hips roll down again, slow and deliberate, and Yoongi’s breath stutters.
“I missed this,” you admit, half-ashamed. “I missed being touched. I missed wanting someone.”
Yoongi lifts his head just enough to look at you, eyes heavy, expression unreadable.
“You’re not the only one,” he says.
And then he kisses you again, deep and dizzying, and slips a hand beneath your waistband. His fingers are warm against your skin. Tentative at first, like he's giving you a chance to stop him, even now. Like some small, rational part of him is still waiting for you to say, ‘don’t.’ But you don’t. You tilt your hips forward instead, breath catching, and he exhales like that’s all the permission he needs.
He pushes his hand into your underwear and groans when he feels how wet you are.
“Fuck,” he gasps. “You’re so—fuck.”
It’s been a long time since someone touched you like this. Since someone wanted you like this. Desperate but gentle, afraid of messing it up. His fingers slide through your slick heat and you let out a sharp breath, clinging to his shoulders, your forehead pressed to his.
“I’m not gonna last long,” you whisper, already dizzy. “This is—fuck—this is embarrassing.”
Yoongi huffs a soft, broken laugh. “Don’t care. Come for me. Come fast. I want to feel you lose it.”
He fucks you with his fingers slow, then fast, then slow again. Just enough pressure to make you tremble, to make you cry out softly into his hoodie. His thumb finds your clit, and you nearly sob from the shock of it.
“Yoongi—” you breathe, hands scrambling for purchase. “I—fuck—”
“Yeah,” he murmurs. “Just like that. Let me have it. I got you.”
You come fast. Hard. Pathetically hard. Your body locks up and then shudders violently, mouth open against his collarbone, heart pounding like it’s trying to claw out of your chest. Yoongi holds you through it. Doesn’t say anything. Just lets you ride it out with his mouth pressed to your temple, breathing you in.
When it’s over, you’re shaking. Barely upright. He eases his hand out of your underwear and presses a kiss to your hairline, tender in a way that makes your eyes sting.
You bury your face in his neck.
“I can’t believe I let you finger me against my front door,” you mumble, mortified as you catch your breath.
“Can’t believe you invited me to,” he replies, grinning against your skin.
You both laugh. Quiet and shaky and a little shellshocked. You’re still leaning into him, your breath evening out, your body boneless. The high is fading, but the warmth he left behind is stubborn.
You lift your head, eyes still a little glazed, and give him a suspicious squint.
“I have a question,” you say.
Yoongi blinks, cautious. “Shoot.”
“How the fuck are you not getting laid constantly?”
His eyebrows shoot up. Then he laughs, quiet but full-bodied, like he’s genuinely caught off guard.
“I mean,” you continue, gesturing vaguely to your crotch, “that was—God. And I didn't even know if you’d be good at it! Like, I kind of assumed it would be decent, because you have a mouth and hands and a pulse—but that was fucking criminally good. Who taught you that? Why is this not a more widely available service?”
Yoongi presses his face into your shoulder and groans, laughing harder now. “Jesus Christ.”
“I’m just saying, someone out there is missing the opportunity of a lifetime.”
He finally lifts his head again, his cheeks tinged with pink. “Yeah, well. Most people don’t really stick around long enough to find out.”
That sobers you a little.
You study him—his messy hair, his blown pupils, the way he tries to play it off with a little shrug. But there’s something underneath it all. Not sadness, exactly. Loneliness, maybe.
You reach up and brush your fingers through his bangs, almost absently. “They’re idiots.”
Yoongi watches you for a moment. Doesn’t argue. Doesn’t deflect. Just leans into your touch.
And then the quiet gets to you, makes you want to crawl out of your skin, so you say:
“So… uh… want me to suck your dick?”
Yoongi freezes. His mouth opens. Closes. Opens again.
“...Right now?”
“No,” you say dryly. “Next Thursday.”
He laughs. “Are you always like this?” he asks, amused, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.
You ignore him and reach for the waistband of his sweatpants instead, fingers slipping under, deliberate and slow. “So?”
Yoongi exhales sharply, eyes fluttering shut. “Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, I want you to.”
His head tips back when you start kissing down his neck. His breath goes shallow. The way he touches you, light on the back of your neck, like he doesn’t know what he did to deserve this—it makes you want to give him everything all of a sudden.
So you drop to your knees in your entryway, hitting the floor with a quiet thud that echoes in the quiet. Yoongi looks down at you in amazement, eyes wide, lips parted, chest rising and falling fast.
You tug his sweats down and he helps, fingers twitching against the fabric, thick cock already hard and leaking at the tip.
“You’re serious,” he says, voice thin. Disbelieving.
You glance up at him, smirking. “That a problem?”
“Not even a little.”
You spit into your palm, spread it over the head, and he twitches in your grip. When you lean in and lick a slow stripe up the underside of his cock, Yoongi lets out a quiet, broken sound.
You’re a little rusty, but you don’t tease. You don’t take your time. You just sink your mouth down around him, spit-slick and sloppy.
“Fuck—”
Yoongi’s head knocks lightly against the wall. One hand finds the back of your head, loose and shaking like he doesn’t know whether to pull you closer or hold you still.
You bob your head faster, messier. Let your saliva drip down over your fingers, curled around the base of his cock while you work the rest with your mouth. He groans again, choked and startled, and you feel him twitch in your palm.
“Jesus, you’re gonna—fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.”
You hum around him. That does it.
He gasps. Buckles a little. Then pulls back. Not all the way, just enough to jerk himself through the last few strokes, breathing ragged.
“Shit, shit—I’m—fuck, baby, fuck—”
You look up at him, mouth open, lips shiny and wet, tongue out just barely.
He spills across your mouth, your cheek, your chin. Hot and messy and so, so much. You blink through it, a little stunned, a lot turned on.
“Holy shit,” he breathes, staring at the mess he made of you. “You’re—god. You’re insane.”
You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, still grinning. “You’re welcome.”
Yoongi laughs breathlessly. “I think I just fell in love with you a little.”
You feel the shift, then. It’s small, almost imperceptible, but suddenly the air feels different. Too quiet. A little too still.
“Don’t be weird about it,” you huff, just to fill the space.
Yoongi leans down and helps you up with careful hands. Your legs are a little wobbly. His hoodie is rumpled. His hair’s a mess. His sweatpants hang loose on his hips and his lips are kiss-bitten and red.
You glance at him, then away just as fast.
You’ve crossed some invisible threshold. You both know it. And now you’re just... here.
“I’m gonna, um.” You gesture vaguely toward the hallway. “Wash my face.”
Yoongi nods, but doesn’t say anything. You don’t look back as you walk away.
In the bathroom, you stare at yourself in the mirror, palms braced on either side of the sink. You wash your hands. Splash your face. Pat dry and breathe.
Or try to.
Fuck, are you having a fucking panic attack? Over that? Your chest is tight, every cell of your skin foreign to you. Like you’re wearing someone else’s body and she just did something you weren’t supposed to.
What the fuck was that?
Not the act itself. That part was great. The enthusiasm, the sheer filth of it—you don’t think you regret it. Maybe. It felt good, in the moment. You wanted it.
It’s what came after.
The shift. The quiet. The moment you felt like he saw too much of you. The part of you that glows when it’s being wanted, and dims just as quickly when it’s alone again.
And—Jesus, ’I think I just fell in love with you a little’? Who the fuck says that?
It takes you longer than you’d like to calm down. You do the breathing exercises you were taught, back in college when counseling was free and they handed out pamphlets on every corner of your campus. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. You smooth down your shirt. Brush your fingers through your hair.
Then return to the living room like you didn’t just spiral for fifteen straight minutes.
When you return, breathing still a little labored, Yoongi’s sitting on the arm of your couch with his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like he’s afraid of what comes next. Like you’ve left him with his thoughts for too long.
He sits up when you approach, brow furrowed at the state of you.
“You okay?” he asks.
You sigh and sit down.
“Yeah. I just…” You stare straight ahead. “That was good. Really good. But it’s been a while. And I don’t know what I’m doing. With any of this.”
Yoongi nods slowly. “You don’t have to know,” he says. “I don’t either.”
You turn to look at him, and the thing in his eyes, the softness, it’s too much. So you keep going.
“Not just the sex. Not just… you. This,” you say, gesturing at yourself, then your apartment. The mess that’s accumulated over the past month. “Letting someone see me when I don’t have it together. When I’m not even trying to pretend I do.”
You rest your head on the back of the couch, stare up at the ceiling like maybe it’ll swallow you whole if you keep talking.
“I don’t know why the fuck now of all times is when I’m letting myself feel anything,” you say. “It’s not like my life is better. It’s not like I’ve earned it.”
Silence.
Then Yoongi shifts. Leans forward, elbows on his knees again, like he’s working up to something.
“You don’t have to earn anything,” he says. “There’s no quota for being okay. Or being wanted. You can be a mess and still deserve good things. You can be at your worst and still… feel.”
You laugh. Bitter and small. “So what, we’re just two disasters trying to convince each other it’s fine?”
He shrugs. “Pretty much.” And then, so gentle it nearly breaks you, he adds, “I don’t think I’m here to fix you. I just want to be here.”
How can he be so sure?
You don’t know a damn thing about him. Not really.
You know he works the stock room in a record store part-time and hates most of his coworkers. You know he smokes too much. That he eats terrible sandwiches and drinks canned coffee. That he texts like he’s trying to make you laugh even when he’s probably in the middle of some breakdown of his own.
You know he’s good with his hands.
You know he looked at you, in all of your mess, like you were still human. You know that he says dumb, grossly honest shit way too easily.
But you don’t know where he grew up. You don’t know what keeps him up at night. You don’t know what kind of heartbreaks he’s carrying, or who let him down hard enough that he walks around like he does.
And still, there’s something in your chest that won’t calm down. Something desperate. Clawing. A tightness you don’t want to name.
Why?
Why the fuck are you feeling so much for someone who’s barely more than a stranger?
Is it just the attention? The intimacy? The fact that, for once, someone touched you without asking you to be okay first? Is this what happens when you’re starving? When your skin has been untouched for too long and someone comes along with warm hands and tired eyes and lets you fall apart without flinching?
Maybe.
But it doesn’t feel shallow. It doesn’t feel fake. Instead, it just feels too easy. Like being with him turns the volume down in your head. Like you don’t have to explain yourself to be understood.
It scares the shit out of you.
Yoongi slips down from the armrest, sinks into the cushion next to you instead. Your knee brushes his. His arm rests behind you on the back of the couch, not quite around you, but near enough that if you leaned even slightly, he’d catch you.
Neither of you moves for a while. You just breathe.
Then his arm moves and his pinky finger nudges yours.
A small thing. Stupid. Barely anything.
But it’s the first deliberate touch since everything happened in the entryway. And it’s soft. Hesitant.
“We don’t have to do… that,” he says, quiet but firm. You know he means the sex. “We don’t have to do anything.”
Maybe you don’t need to define it yet. Maybe it’s not about love or fate or healing. Maybe it’s just about want.
Two people letting themselves be wanted for a while.
You hook your pinky around his.
Just this, you think. Just this is fine.
✧
Yoongi doesn’t push. He doesn’t label anything. He just keeps showing up.
Sometimes at your place, sometimes at his. Sometimes at the bookstore, when he has a day off.
There’s a pattern now.
Late-night convenience store runs. Shared ramen on cracked stools by the window, making fun of people’s bad haircuts as they pass on the street outside. Socks borrowed and never returned. His hoodie living permanently on the back of your chair. Your phone lighting up with ‘Proof of life?’ on days he knows you’re at a low.
Sometimes you kiss. Sometimes you just sit in the same room and don’t say anything. Sometimes he talks and you don’t respond. And that’s okay, too.
It’s not about what it is. It’s about the fact that it keeps happening.
When you disappear, he still shows up. Like today.
It’s not a dramatic breakdown. Not this time.
Instead, it’s the kind of bad week that sinks its teeth in slow. No single catalyst, no big meltdown. Just one exhausting day stacked on top of another, until your body forgets how to move without dragging. Your sink is full of dishes you can’t look at. Your hair’s unwashed. You haven’t eaten anything substantial in days.
You didn’t text Yoongi to come over. You didn’t say much of anything at all this week.
But you must’ve sounded off, or maybe he just knows how to read silence better than most, because around three in the afternoon, you hear the soft knock at your door.
You don’t answer at first. You don’t mean to ignore him, you just can’t make your legs move.
A minute passes, and your phone buzzes from somewhere near your pillow.
Yoongi: Not trying to crowd you. Just wanted to drop off some food Yoongi: Leaving it by the door. No pressure
You muster the energy to roll out of bed and crack the door open. A plastic bag sits at your feet and Yoongi is already halfway down the hallway, hands in his pockets.
“Yoongi,” you call, your voice raspier than you expect.
He turns around.
“Hey,” he says, probably surprised that you’re upright.
You open the door wider. “You can come in. If you want.”
Yoongi hesitates just for a second, checking that you’re sure. Then he nods. He picks the bag up and slips inside without a word, setting it on your kitchen counter.
He doesn’t try to hug you or touch you or ask what’s wrong. He doesn’t judge your apartment, the clothes strewn about, the closed curtains, the dishes piling up in the sink. He barely even looks.
“You eaten today?” he asks, gently.
You shake your head. “Not really hungry.”
“Okay,” he says. “I’m gonna make something anyway. Just in case.”
He moves around your kitchen like it’s his. Not because he’s overly familiar, but because he’s not afraid of your mess. He pulls out eggs, rice, a few green onions from the bag he brought.
You retreat back to your couch. You didn’t mean to lie down again, but the second you sit, your body droops until you’re horizontal. So you stay curled on your side, facing the wall. Listening.
The clink of metal. The whoosh of your gas burner catching. The soft sizzle of garlic hitting oil.
You don’t remember falling asleep, but when you wake up, Yoongi is sitting on the floor in front of the couch, cross-legged, a steaming bowl in his lap and another on your coffee table.
You push yourself up slowly. Your head aches, your throat’s dry, but you can’t lie. It smells good.
“You didn’t have to—” you start.
“I know,” he says, soft. “I wanted to.”
You eat in silence. The rice is soft, buttery, a little salty from the soy sauce and the eggs scrambled through it. You’re hungrier than you thought, but you pace yourself.
Halfway through, he glances over at you.
“You wanna watch something dumb?”
You nod.
Yoongi takes your bowl when you’re done, rinses both of them without comment. When he comes back, he takes a seat next to you. He scrolls through streaming apps on your TV until he lands on something you like.
The opening credits roll.
He doesn’t try to hold you. Doesn’t try to tell you it’s going to be okay. He just sits beside you, shoulders barely brushing. When your body droops again, he lets you lean into his side.
Somewhere around the fifteen-minute mark, he mutters, “You don’t have to be okay for me to want to be here.”
You don’t look at him. Your throat tightens like you’re going to cry. Which is something, at least, after the numbness of the week.
“This could be me next week,” he says, like it’s nothing. “Or tomorrow. So. I get it. That’s all.”
And then the movie continues. One ridiculous scene after another. The light from the screen flickers across his face.
You don’t say thank you yet, but you know you don’t have to.
✧
You still haven’t put a name to it.
Neither of you has tried. There was one moment, maybe, a few days ago. Yoongi was over for no particular reason. He’d looked at you from your kitchen floor, head propped against the cabinets, lips red from kissing, and opened his mouth like he might ask.
But then the takeout came, and the moment passed.
You text like friends. ‘Want anything from the store?’ ‘This customer just asked if we sell records on vinyl. I hate it here.’ ‘What are you doing tonight?’ ‘Absolutely nothing.’ ‘Come do nothing with me.’
You hang out like you’re in a relationship. Eat cross-legged on his bed. Steal fries from each other’s plates without asking. Sometimes fall asleep shoulder to shoulder watching terrible TV.
You make out. A lot.
Against walls. On couches. Outside each other’s doors at night when neither of you feels like saying goodnight just yet. It never quite escalates to the point it did that night—maybe once or twice it almost does, but one of you always pumps the brakes.
You don’t meet each other’s friends. You don’t ask about exes. You don’t introduce him to your sister or take photos together or exchange socials. Because that doesn’t feel like what this is.
You like the bubble you’ve built. The little world where nothing outside matters. Where it doesn’t have to matter yet.
Because outside the bubble, your life is still a mess. Rent’s overdue. Work is torture. You haven’t written anything in over a year and you haven’t figured out how to be proud of yourself again, not really.
But inside it—when Yoongi’s mouth is on yours, when he texts you ‘Made extra ramen if you’re hungry btw’ like that’s not the most romantic shit anyone’s ever said to you, you feel steady.
But, like anything else, it comes with its own set of issues.
The thing about not fucking is that it used to be about not wanting. A lack of drive. A lack of spark. A lack of time or energy or libido or options.
But now? Now, it’s something else. Because you have the option.
Now, it’s starting to feel like a crack in the glass. Like every time you grind against his thigh with your hips twitching and your breath shaky, or every time he pulls your shirt off and buries his face between your tits but doesn’t go lower, the crack gets a little deeper. And you’re both pretending not to see it.
Because the truth is: you want to fuck him.
You desperately want to fuck him.
You think about it constantly. The way his fingers curled inside you that first night, the soft, filthy way he talked to you, the way he looked down at your face when you sucked him off like he was watching a goddamn miracle unfold.
You think about how he’d feel inside you.
You ache with it.
But you don’t bring it up. Because once you do, once you have sex, it’s not a bubble anymore. It’s real, something with expectations.
And you know yourself, you know how you get. You’ll start needing more. Wanting more. And Yoongi, sweet and quiet and lost in his own way, will become another thing you don’t know how to manage. Another thing you don’t know how to keep.
You’re scared of that. Of ruining it. Of letting your body talk you into something your heart might not be strong enough to carry.
So you kiss him like you’re dying, but when his hands drift to your waistband, you laugh, too high-pitched, and pull away. Pretend you’re tired. Or hungry. Or something, anything. Any excuse not to cross that final threshold. Yoongi never pushes. He just nods, catches his breath, and helps you back into your shirt like a gentleman.
But you feel the tension growing. Between your thighs. In your chest. In the way you wake up soaked and aching after every sleepover, body clenching at nothing. In the way your kisses are starting to come with more teeth. With soft little growls in your throat you didn’t mean to let out.
Tonight, he’s at your place again. It’s late. You both know he should’ve left hours ago, and the crack is splintering even further, faster than you realize.
You’re straddling Yoongi on the couch, your knees bracketing his hips, your mouth fused to his. Your hips are rocking down, slow and aimless at first, but building. You can feel him getting hard beneath you, feel the press of him through his sweats as you drag your clothed pussy over him like your body is starving.
Yoongi groans into your kiss. His hands grip your thighs, fingertips twitching. But, like always, he doesn’t push. He just lets you move, lets you grind down on him with that ragged little gasp in your throat, lets you take what you need without crossing the line you’ve both carefully danced around for weeks.
Except tonight, something’s different. You’re different.
Because when he tilts his head and mouths at your neck, hot and slow, and mutters, “you’re gonna make me come in my fucking pants,” you snap.
Completely.
You pull back just enough to look at him, breathing hard, eyes wild. “I want to fuck you.”
He blinks. Catches up slowly, like he’s not sure if he imagined it.
“I want you to fuck me,” you amend, a little louder. Desperate.
Yoongi just stares at you for a moment, mouth parted, chest heaving. His hands tighten on your thighs.
“You sure?” he asks, voice rough.
Once you say yes, it happens fast.
Yoongi’s hands are everywhere. Gripping your hips, your waist, sliding up your back to tug your shirt over your head. He peels it off and tosses it somewhere behind you, eyes locked on yours like he’s giving you one last chance to change your mind.
You don’t.
Your bra’s off next, fast, and he curses the second your tits are bare, like he can’t believe this is happening. Like he’s been thinking about it for weeks too, and now that it’s real, he doesn’t know where to start.
So he starts with his mouth.
He palms your breasts and groans low in his throat, then leans forward and takes one into his mouth like he needs it—hot tongue flicking over your nipple, lips sucking gently before he bites, just enough to make you gasp. His fingers find the other, circling and pinching lightly.
“Fuck,” you whimper, arching into him. “Yoongi—”
You grind down on his cock again, still half-dressed from the waist down, the friction sharp and unbearable. You’re soaked. You can feel it. Your panties are useless at this point, clinging wetly to your folds, and you’re half a second away from tearing them off yourself if he doesn’t move faster.
“Condom,” you breathe. “Please. Where—?”
“Yeah—fuck—yeah, hold on.”
You scramble off his lap at the same time he stumbles off the couch, both of you half-laughing and swearing under your breath. He digs through his bag on your floor, frantic, muttering, “I swear I had one—fuck, wait—yes.”
He holds it up like a prize, and you don’t even give him the chance to rip it open before you’re tugging your shorts and panties down in one go, stepping out of them and crawling back onto the couch.
Yoongi stops cold, stares at you for a second.
Hair messy. Chest heaving. Legs spread. Eyes hungry.
“Fuck,” he murmurs, tearing the foil open and shoving his sweats halfway down his thighs with shaking hands. His cock bobs free, hard and flushed and so ready, and your mouth actually waters.
He rolls the condom on with practiced ease and climbs back over you, settling between your legs like he belongs there. Like he’s done it a hundred times in dreams and is finally allowed to touch.
He presses inside you slowly, inch by inch, and the stretch knocks the breath from your lungs. You’re soaked, but it’s still so much, been too long, and you cling to his shoulders with a gasp.
Yoongi groans, forehead dropping to yours.
“Jesus, you’re tight,” he rasps. “Fucking wet.”
You whimper, hips already rolling up to meet him. “Been wanting this,” you whisper. “Needing this—”
“Yeah?” he murmurs, voice shaking. “You gonna let me give it to you?”
“Yes, please—”
And then he starts to move. Just the brutal press of his hips to yours, every thrust deep and deliberate and filthy, like he’s trying to bury himself somewhere he won’t be able to crawl back from.
Your head tips back against the couch, eyes rolling up, mouth falling open on a gasp that barely sounds like a real word. He’s got one hand gripping the arm of the couch behind your head for leverage, the other wrapped tight around your thigh, keeping you pinned wide open beneath him as he fucks into you.
“Fuck, Yoongi—fuck—”
“You like it, baby?” he growls.
You whimper, nodding helplessly, your hands scrambling up under his hoodie to claw at his back, his sides, anywhere you can touch.
Your skin’s on fire. Your thoughts are gone. All you know is the sharp, perfect drag of his cock, the sound of your soaked cunt every time he slams into you, the guttural noises he makes when your walls flutter around him.
“You feel so fucking good,” he groans, eyes squeezed shut, jaw clenched. “Tight little pussy just gripping me—shit, baby, I can’t—”
His pace stutters for half a second, like your body is pulling the soul out of him.
You cry out when he hits deep—too deep—and he groans, pulling your legs higher around his waist to get the angle just right.
“There,” he growls when you shatter under him, thighs shaking, cunt clenching so hard he nearly loses it. “Fucking cum.”
You come like you’ve lost control of your body. Loud, legs locked, nails in his back. It hits hard and fast and doesn’t stop, rolling through you in hot, humiliating waves. Yoongi hisses, desperate now, chasing his own end, rhythm starting to break.
“Gonna fill you up,” he pants, even though the condom’s there, even though it’s just a filthy fantasy, and you sob at the idea of it. “Fuck, I wish—wish I could come inside you—fuck—you’d let me, wouldn’t you? Let me ruin you for anyone else—”
“Yes,” you gasp, not even sure you mean it, but it sounds right. Feels true.
That’s all it takes.
Yoongi groans like it’s been punched out of him, hips jerking as he comes hard, cock twitching inside you, face buried in your neck as he spills into the condom.
You both stay there, gasping against sticky skin through the aftershocks. He kisses your neck once. Then again. And again.
“Holy shit,” you breathe, dazed. “I think you just rearranged my internal organs.”
Yoongi laughs. “Cool. I was aiming for your soul.”
The couch cushions are half off the frame, your legs still trembling where they’re spread open around his waist. Yoongi pulls out slowly, careful, and your body aches from it, clenches down involuntarily, already missing the stretch.
He ties off the condom, looks around for somewhere to put it before settling on the empty takeout bag from earlier. Pulls his sweats back up.
You sit up with limbs like jelly, not bothering to put your underwear back on just yet, and run a hand through your hair. Your thighs are sticky. Your lips are swollen. You feel fucked out and raw and wrung clean.
Your body is so satisfied.
Predictably, your brain is a different story.
You glance over at Yoongi. He’s slouched against the other end of the couch, head back, eyes closed. His hair is damp at the temples, chest still rising and falling like he hasn’t quite come back to himself yet.
He looks gorgeous.
You want to kiss him.
You also want to run.
That tight, itchy feeling—the one you’ve been avoiding since you first let him touch you—comes roaring back. You just crossed the line. You fucked the one good thing in your life that wasn’t tangled in expectations. That didn’t ask anything from you.
You broke the bubble.
He opens one eye and glances over at you.
“You okay?”
You nod. “Yeah. Just…” You trail off. Shrug. “That was intense.”
Yoongi huffs a soft laugh. “Yeah. You think?”
You stand. Your legs are still shaking.
“I’m gonna, uh… go pee,” you say, already heading toward the bathroom. “Before I die.”
He doesn’t stop you. Just nods, eyes following you for a second before he looks away.
You close the door and sit on the edge of the tub. Breathe.
You want to feel good. You do feel good. But also… you feel like maybe you’ve fucked up. Or you’re about to. Or like this is going to change something that shouldn’t be changed.
You think about what you’ll say when you go back out there.
You think about whether he’s getting dressed. Whether he’ll leave. Whether he should.
You think, I don’t want this to become another thing I have to recover from.
✧
When you finally open the bathroom door, the light feels harsher than it should, and your skin’s still warm from the shower you didn’t really want but took anyway. Just to delay, to think, to scrub away the sweat and the way his hands felt on your hips and the way your body sang for him.
You step into the living room wearing clean underwear and a fresh shirt. Your face is bare. Your hair is damp. Your expression, despite your best effort, is a little too tight.
Yoongi looks up from the couch, where he’s still sitting, this time in his sweats and hoodie again, elbows on his knees, fingers idly twisting the hem of his sleeve.
His eyes meet yours. He doesn’t smile, but his gaze softens. Immediately.
“Hey,” he says, quiet.
You nod, cross your arms. “Hey.”
He watches you for a second, then leans back, patting the space next to him.
You hesitate, but you lower yourself onto the couch anyway. Not quite touching, not quite distant. A safe middle.
“Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”
“I’m fine.”
“Okay,” Yoongi says, disbelieving. “Then why do you look like you’re trying to figure out how to ghost me while I’m still in your apartment?”
You wince, staring at your knees. “I just—I didn’t mean for this to turn into, like… a thing.”
He nods slowly. “Okay.”
“I mean, we’re not, right? A thing?”
You look at him now, really look. Your heart’s racing. Your stomach’s twisting. You’re not sure what kind of answer you want.
Yoongi looks back at you for a long moment. Then he leans back again, scrubbing a hand through his hair.
“I don’t know what we are,” he says. “I wasn’t trying to make it anything.”
You swallow hard, because part of you thinks that should make you feel better. Instead, it just makes your chest ache. You were the one who let him in, even when you swore you wouldn’t. You’re not trying to make him feel like he’s the one at fault here. It’s you. It’s always you.
“But,” he adds, eyes flicking to yours again, “I like you. I care about you. And if we’re fucking now, yeah, that’s gonna mean something to me. Even if we never put a label on it.”
“Doesn’t that make it worse?” you ask, voice thin. “If it means something?”
Yoongi doesn’t speak for a long while. You sink into him without meaning to, thigh to thigh, arm to arm. You don’t really know why.
He exhales, slow and deliberate, and says, “Can I tell you something?”
You nod against his shoulder.
“I wasn’t supposed to be at that convenience store,” he starts, voice shaky in a way that makes you sit up, just slightly. “I mean, I didn’t have a reason to be anywhere. But that night… I think I was sort of… walking around to see if I’d change my mind.”
You still. Your heart trips over itself, because that could mean a lot of things. Because you know, just by the tone of his voice, that he means the worst.
He keeps going.
“I’d been thinking about it for a while. Not in a loud way. Not even like a plan. Just… wondering. If things would be better. Easier. If I just stopped. Just disappeared.”
You don’t interrupt. You don’t breathe too loud. You just listen.
“And that night, it felt close. Like maybe I was ready. Like maybe no one would notice.” He lets out a shaky laugh. “I hadn’t talked to anyone in a couple days. I didn’t even brush my teeth before I left the house. I just started walking.”
Your eyes sting. You try not to let it show.
“I stopped at the store because I thought—fuck it. One last shitty sandwich. One last can of cold coffee.” He huffs. “Really poetic, right?”
You let out a breath. “Yoongi—”
He shakes his head. “I’m not telling you this so you’ll feel bad. Or because I think you saved me. You didn’t. You just… made it a little easier to stay.”
You’re crying now, because god, you didn’t know, but you know. You know how it feels to always have that in the back of your mind, to convince yourself that there would be relief in giving up. Letting go.
He turns his head toward you now, not quite meeting your eyes, like he’s still unsure if he’s allowed to say all this out loud.
“I still think about it. Sometimes. Not all the time. But… it comes back. When it’s quiet. When I’m alone too long. But since that night, it’s been easier knowing that someone gets it. That I don’t have to pretend I’m fine all the time.”
He finally looks at you, and it’s not a dramatic, sweeping kind of moment. There’s no soft lighting or music swelling. Just his tired eyes, and your tired heart, and the shared weight of knowing what it feels like to want to give up—and choosing, for whatever reason, not to.
“Maybe that’s all this has to be,” he says. “Not a love story. Not some perfect, clean thing. Just… two people who don’t always want to be here, making it a little easier for each other to stay.”
You can’t speak. You nod, and your eyes blur, and Yoongi presses his forehead to yours like it’s the only way he knows how to say thank you for seeing me.
✧
Days later, things aren’t better—not in the way people usually mean. Your life is still a mess. His is too.
But something’s changed. Settled.
He lets himself in now. Doesn’t knock. Kicks his shoes off like he lives there, shrugs his hoodie off and drops it somewhere near the couch, grabs two cups and fills them with whatever’s in your fridge.
And you let him.
You sit next to each other, thigh to thigh, flipping through shows you won’t finish. You kiss during the commercials. You fall asleep with his hand on your waist.
You still haven’t said you’re together. You still haven’t said what you mean to each other. But when you’re quiet for too long, he looks up from his phone and asks, “Okay?”
And when he’s too quiet, you ask, “Wanna stay the night?”
And when you both lie awake in the dark, not talking, not moving, you think: I’m still here.
And so is he.
✧
It starts with scraps. Half-sentences in your notes app. A phrase here, a sentence there. Something you jotted down after Yoongi left one night, when your chest felt like it was holding more than usual and your bed still smelled like his shampoo.
Then it becomes a little routine. You open your laptop without the usual dread. You stare at the cursor blinking in a half-finished document and think: maybe I can.
It’s not for meant to be published. It’s not for anyone but you. But it’s something.
One night, Yoongi finds you sitting on the floor with your laptop on your thighs. You’re so focused, you don’t even hear him come in.
He just watches for a second, quiet.
“Writing?” he asks eventually, and you jump.
“Jesus—” You slam the laptop shut on instinct, and he raises both hands in surrender, shoulders shaking with laughter.
“You don’t have to show me,” he says, setting down the drinks he brought. “But… that’s new.”
You shrug, embarrassed. “It’s nothing. Just… stuff.”
Yoongi sinks to the floor beside you. “You haven’t written since we met.”
“I haven’t written in a long time.”
He doesn’t ask why not. He already knows.
Instead, he leans his head on your shoulder and says, “I’m glad you’re starting to again.”
He doesn’t push. He doesn’t ask for details. He doesn’t ask to read it. He just sits with you, there on the floor, eyes closed. Like your writing means something just by existing.
You open the laptop again.
You keep writing.
✧
Yoongi is sitting cross-legged on your bed while you type, cradling a cup of tea you made him because he clearly needed something to do with his hands.
You can tell he’s nervous. He’s got that look on his face like he’s about to say something serious but is trying not to scare the shit out of you. It isn’t working.
“So,” he says, after a long stretch of silence, “I have a friend.”
You glance up from your laptop, blinking. “Amazing.”
Yoongi huffs. “Kim Namjoon. He’s an old friend. College. We used to mess around with production stuff, back when I thought I was gonna be a genius producer with a Grammy by 25.”
You smile a little at that, set your laptop aside. “What’d he say?”
Yoongi hesitates, fingers drumming softly against the side of his mug. “He got some seed money. Not much. Just enough to rent a space, get a couple of half-decent mics, some gear. Says he wants to start a small label.”
Your stomach does a little flip. Not because you’re worried. Not yet. But because of the way he’s saying it. Like he’s trying not to want it too much.
“He wants me in on it,” Yoongi continues, staring down into his tea. “It’d be three of us, working in a basement, surviving off cup ramen. Maybe getting a local artist to sign on eventually.”
You exhale. “That sounds… really fucking cool.”
Yoongi finally looks at you. He’s smiling now, just a little, but it’s tight at the edges. “Yeah. It does.”
“And?”
He shrugs, but it’s not a real shrug. It’s that shoulder-lift people do when something matters too much. “And I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m ready to give a shit again. I don’t know if I’ll fuck it up. I don’t even know if I still have anything to say.”
“You do,” you say, instantly.
His jaw flexes. “Yeah, well. Maybe. He’s starting soon. Wants me to come by next week. Just to mess around with some demos, get a feel for it again.”
You nod slowly. Try not to let the ‘what if’s start swirling. What if it pulls him away? What if he leaves? What if this tiny, fragile thing you’re building—whatever it is—gets buried under a dream he's only just remembered how to want again?
But you don’t say any of that.
Instead, you say, “You should do it.”
Yoongi searches your face for a long time, hesitant, like he’s trying to catch you in a lie.
“Yeah?”
You reach over and take his mug, set it on the nightstand. You curl into his side, your face pressed to the crook of his neck.
“Yeah,” you whisper. “I think maybe… we’re both starting to remember how to want things again.”
You feel him breathe out. Slow. Unsteady.
But he nods.
✧
Yoongi doesn’t stop texting. He still sends you memes, voice notes, the occasional photo of his workspace—a cramped basement room with exposed pipes and cords spilling out over his desk, coffee-stained notebooks piled next to a MIDI keyboard.
But he’s not around as much.
The nights you used to spend together—half-draped over one another on the couch, kissing during reruns, sleeping side-by-side without labels—are fewer now. Sometimes he falls asleep at the studio. Sometimes he doesn’t respond until 2 a.m., when you’re already asleep.
It’s hard. You won’t lie to yourself about that. You feel the absence like a low-grade fever. Always there, dull but insistent.
And there’s still no word for what you are. No boyfriend, no girlfriend. Just… you, and Yoongi. And this thing you’ve built together, quiet and warm and undefined.
But when you do see him—when he walks through your door smelling like coffee and sweat and work—you can see it on him. The spark. The momentum. The low, buzzing joy of trying again. Of wanting something bad enough to bleed for it.
He’s tired. But he’s tired for a good reason, now.
And that makes you want to try, too.
So you keep opening your laptop. Not just to scribble down half-formed ideas, but to finish. You sit with the mess of it, the aching in your fingers, the voice in your head that says ‘why bother’—and you write anyway. You dig up old stories, rework scenes that used to make you cringe. You find your voice again, piece by shaky piece.
Sometimes, late at night, you send him snippets. Just to say, look. I’m doing it, too.
And he always responds, eventually. Usually something like:
Yoongi: Fuck yes
Yoongi: Proud of you
Yoongi: Also the studio toilet flooded again. I’m going to kill Joon
You laugh. You keep writing.
It still hurts sometimes. Missing him, wondering what all this means. But now the hurt is paired with movement. With hope.
✧
Eventually, you finish something.
It’s not perfect. Not even close. There are typos and sentences that feel like strangers to themselves, and places where the ending is still a little jagged and wrong. But it’s done.
A full manuscript. Your name at the top. Your words, your voice, your pain and hunger and stupid hope wrapped into a whopping 112 pages.
You think of Yoongi when you submit it with an application to a graduate school program. A program you’ve read and re-read the description for more times than you care to admit. You don't know if it’s good enough. If you’re good enough. But for the first time in a long time, you do it anyway.
And then you don’t tell anyone.
Maybe it’s selfish, but you want the hope for yourself. Just for a little while. You want to keep it quiet and sacred, untainted by expectations or well-meaning encouragement or the crushing weight of what if it doesn’t happen. You just want it to be yours.
You keep seeing Yoongi, of course. When he can. When he’s not tangled up in late-night meetings and studio sessions. You see each other in stolen hours, sleep-heavy kisses, lazy dinners eaten on the floor.
But lately, even those small moments feel bigger.
And then one night, you get a text.
Yoongi: You home?
You are. You say yes.
He shows up ten minutes later, breathless, hoodie damp from trying to dodge light rain, cheeks flushed with joy. Real joy. The kind that lights his whole face from the inside out.
“I had to tell someone,” he says the second you open the door. “I had to tell you.”
You let him in, confused but smiling all the same. You’ve been doing a lot of that lately. “What happened?”
He doesn’t even sit. He paces back and forth, rakes a hand through his hair, practically vibrating.
“We signed someone,” he finally says. “Tentatively, but, this artist from Busan, she’s insane, she’s so weird and good and her voice is like—fuck, I don’t even know how to explain it. But Namjoon loved her. We all did. And she said yes. She said yes, to us.”
You blink, stunned. “You—Yoongi, that’s—holy shit!”
He grins, wide and unguarded, and you’ve never seen him like this before and it just makes you so fucking happy. You’re up on your feet before your brain catches up.
You hug him tight, breath caught in your throat. Because he’s shaking a little, and he smells so good, and this is what he looks like when he’s proud of himself. When he’s living.
You pull back to look at him, hands on his jaw.
“I’m so proud of you,” you whisper.
And Yoongi’s expression shifts. Softens. Deepens. He takes a breath.
“I love you,” he says.
Like it’s not sudden. Like it’s been sitting on his tongue for weeks, waiting for the right moment to fall out.
“I just—I do. And I didn’t want to say it while things were still messy, or early, or whatever. But this is what I wanted. That night, at the convenience store. This. You. Someone who gets it. Someone who doesn’t fix me but lets me stay. And I love you.”
Fuck. There it is.
You don’t speak right away. You reach for him instead. Pull him back in. Rest your forehead against his and let yourself feel it. All of it.
And then, soft and steady, you say it back.
“I love you too.”
✧
It’s not frantic, not this time.
Not messy or rushed or born of need. It’s slow, reverent, deep. Yoongi’s hands cradle your face like you’re something fragile, something he’s terrified of breaking now that he knows what you mean to him. His thumbs stroke your cheeks. His breath catches when you tilt your head and kiss him harder but just as slow, open-mouthed and aching.
You walk him backwards toward the bed. He lets you. He goes willingly, grinning against your mouth like he can’t believe this is happening again, that you’re his, and that this time, it’s not just comfort or heat or distraction. It’s love.
He sinks onto the mattress, and you climb over him, straddling his lap, kissing him again and again, hands tangled in his hair, grinding down against the hard line of his cock through his sweats.
But then he pulls back. Barely. His hands settle on your thighs. His eyes are dark and shining and hungry.
“Let me eat you out.”
Your breath catches.
“I—what?”
Yoongi licks his lips. “You don’t get it,” he says, too far gone to filter it. “I’ve been wanting to. Since the night I fingered you against your fucking door, I’ve wanted to get between your thighs and just live there. I love you, and I love your pussy, and I’m gonna make you come so hard you forget every single bad day you’ve ever had.”
You stare at him, slackjawed.
Then you exhale, soft and wrecked, and whisper, “Okay.”
Yoongi repositions you onto your back, gentle, lips back on yours. His hands slide down your body like he’s mapping out every inch. He tugs your shirt off, unhooks your bra, kisses down your neck, your chest, your ribs, like he has all the time in the world.
And then he pulls your shorts down. Your panties too.
He groans when he sees you. Like, actually groans.
“God, baby. Look at you.” He kisses your inner thigh, drags his nose along the crease, eyes flicking up to yours. “So fucking pretty.”
And then he licks into you.
You cry out, sharp and sudden, because it’s so much. He’s warm and wet and greedy, tongue flat against your clit, then pointed and precise, then everywhere, like he can’t choose, like he doesn’t want to.
He moans against your pussy like he’s the one being touched. Like he could cum just watching you feel good, because of him.
“Yoongi—shit—” Your hands fly to his hair, thighs trembling, already shaking, already close.
He wraps his arms under your thighs, holding you open, keeping you grounded, mouth working you over like he’s worshipping you. He sucks on your clit, gentle but firm, and you arch off the bed.
“I’m gonna come,” you warn, voice breaking. “Fuck, Yoongi—”
He groans, messy and eager, never once letting up. And then you do.
You come hard, thighs clamping around his head, hands in his hair, eyes rolled back. It’s hot and overwhelming, your body jolting and twitching, his name a broken whimper on your tongue.
He keeps going until you push him away, overstimulated and trembling.
“Jesus,” you breathe.
He grins, climbs back up your body, presses his mouth to yours without hesitation. You taste yourself on his tongue.
“You love me,” he murmurs, like it’s the best thing he’s ever been told.
You nod, dazed. “I do.”
He kisses you again.
“You’re gonna let me do that every day, right?”
You laugh, breathless. “If you keep doing it like that, yeah. I might not survive, but yeah.”
You let Yoongi kiss you for a while, slow and soft and full of so much love, but eventually, you push at his shoulder. He pulls back instantly, eyes wide and brows furrowed.
“Lie down,” you murmur. “Let me take care of you.”
Yoongi blinks, lips swollen and wet. But he lets you push. “Baby—”
“You’ve been working so fucking hard,” you say, crawling into his lap, straddling his thighs. “Let me ride you. Let me make you feel good. Please.”
Whatever protest he might’ve had dies in his throat the second you reach down and palm him through his sweats. He’s hard—has been since he had your pussy on his tongue—and he groans, low and helpless, as you slide your hand beneath the waistband.
You stroke him slow, loving, watching the tension bleed out of him with every pass of your fist.
“Fuck,” he whispers, eyes fluttering shut, hips twitching into your touch. “Feels good.”
You smile. Kiss his chest as he fumbles for the condom in his wallet.
When you finally sink down onto him, Yoongi lets out a groan. His hands fly to your hips, gripping hard, eyes squeezed shut, jaw clenched so tight you can see the tension in his neck when he leans his head back.
“God—” he gasps. “Fuck, baby, you—”
“I know,” you breathe, grinding your hips in slow, careful circles. “I know. Just relax. Let me do this for you.”
You ride him slow, deep, dragging his cock through your tight, wet heat over and over. Every inch of him feels like it was made for you, thick and perfect and pulsing inside you, your cunt already fluttering from how good he made you feel earlier.
Yoongi can’t keep still. His fingers squeeze your thighs, your hips, then your waist, like he can’t decide where to hold on. Like he’s barely holding on at all.
He opens his eyes to look at you and whines, higher than he probably meant to. Because you’re riding him like you love him. Because your tits are bouncing with every slow roll of your hips, and your face is flushed, and your eyes are locked on his like there’s nowhere else you want to be in the entire fucking world.
It springs him into action.
He sits up, wraps his arms around you, mouths at your tits like he’s starving. He sucks at one nipple, then the other, licking and kissing and biting softly like he can’t stop, like he needs to touch you.
“Yoongi,” you gasp, fingers tangling in his hair.
He moans into your chest. Hands moving down to your ass, guiding you up and down on his cock in that same slow, dirty rhythm, like he wants to make this last forever.
“Can’t even think,” he pants. “You feel so fucking good—too good—fuck, I love you—”
You ride him harder, faster, your hands on his shoulders. Your whole body shakes with how good it feels to be full of him, to see him like this—wrecked, undone, yours.
“I’m so close,” you whisper, hips stuttering. “Yoongi—”
“Come for me,” he begs. “Please, baby, come on my cock, wanna feel it.”
You do.
You fall apart in his arms, gasping his name, pussy clenching around him so tight it nearly rips the orgasm out of him too. You’re shaking, sweating, still grinding through it as he buries his face in your neck, groaning your name, fucking up into you just a little, just enough—
He comes with a low, broken ‘fuck,’ arms locking around your waist, cock pulsing inside the condom. He’s so loud, so needy, and god, you’ve never loved anyone like this.
You collapse against his chest, both of you breathless and slick with sweat, still joined, still trembling.
And Yoongi holds you like he never wants to let go.
✧
You stay like that for a while, pressed to his chest, his arms strong around your back, the rhythm of his heartbeat still racing under your cheek. The room smells like sweat and sex. Yoongi’s hand is stroking slow lines up and down your spine.
He hasn’t said much since you both came down, but the silence isn’t uncomfortable. Just full.
You’re the one who breaks it.
“I did something,” you admit.
Yoongi hums, not missing a beat in the way his fingers trace over your skin. “Yeah?”
You nod against his chest, then force yourself to sit up, just enough to look at him. His hair’s a mess. His eyes are half-lidded and lazy, but sharp with attention the second he realizes you’re serious.
“I applied to grad school.”
Yoongi blinks.
“For writing?” he asks.
You nod again, heart hammering. “Yeah. An MFA. I submitted a portfolio. Finished something for the first time in forever. I would’ve told you sooner, I just—” You shrug. “I didn’t want to jinx it.”
His mouth opens. Then closes. Then opens again, like he’s still processing.
And then he grins. Slow. Genuine. Gums showing and eyes shining.
“Holy shit,” he breathes, sitting up and grabbing your face in both hands.
Your eyes sting. “I don’t even know if I’ll get in. It’s probably stupid—”
“It’s not,” he cuts in, firm and quiet. “It’s not stupid. It’s huge.”
You try to look away, but he keeps your face in his hands, thumbs brushing your cheeks, grounding you.
“I’m so fucking proud of you,” he says. “Seriously. I’ve watched you try so hard to find something again, and you did it. Whether or not you get in doesn’t matter. You tried. That’s fucking everything.”
You bite your lip, blinking fast. Yoongi kisses your forehead, then your nose, then your mouth.
“Thanks for telling me,” he murmurs. “I’ll keep it safe.”
And you know he will.
For the first time in a long time, the future doesn’t feel so terrifying.
✧
The email comes on a Wednesday.
You’re not expecting it. You’ve nearly forgotten the timeline, pushed it into the back of your mind like a daydream you didn’t want to get too close to. You’ve been telling yourself not to hope too much. Not to want it, even though you do. Badly.
It hits your inbox around 11:42 a.m., and you stare at the subject line for a full minute before you open it. And then—
You’re in.
You read it twice, then two more times. It still doesn’t feel real. You read the phrase We’re pleased to inform you like it’s in another language. Like it’s not something anyone was ever supposed to say to you.
Then you laugh. A startled, breathless sound that turns into something half-sobbing.
You call Yoongi.
He doesn’t pick up on the first try—he’s a busy man these days—but he calls back two minutes later.
“Hey, baby. What’s—?”
“I got in.”
There’s a long pause.
And then, softly, “what?”
You swallow hard. You’re pacing your kitchen now, barefoot and trembling. “I got in. Grad school.”
“Holy fuck.”
You laugh again, breathless. “I know.”
“Holy fuck.”
“I know! Yoongi—”
“You got in,” he says. “You fucking got in.”
He sounds like he’s smiling. Like he’s trying not to cry. You’re trying, too.
“I’m so proud of you,” he says. “So fucking proud of you. I’m gonna lose my mind.”
Your throat tightens. “I don’t know what to do now.”
“Come to the studio,” he says instantly. “No one’s here today except me. I’ll order food. I’ll roll a joint. I’ll kiss you a lot. Do some very dirty, celebratory things to you on the desk, if you want.”
You’re already grabbing your keys. “Okay. Yeah.”
“Meet me out back.”
When you get to the studio, he’s outside. Leaning against the back of the building, waiting. The joint is already rolled, tucked neatly behind his ear, and he’s got that look on his face—that slow, lazy grin.
“You,” he says, pushing off the wall the second he sees you. “Fucking you.”
You don’t say anything. Just drop your bag on the cracked concrete and launch yourself into his arms.
He catches you easily, wraps you up in him—hoodie and warmth and the faint smell of cigarettes and detergent and Yoongi. His arms curl tight around your waist, and he lifts you slightly off the ground as you bury your face in his neck.
“You got in,” he murmurs again. “You really—baby, you did it.”
You nod against him, laughing and sniffling all at once. “I did.”
He sets you down but doesn’t let go. Just pulls back enough to kiss you. Once. Twice. Then a third time, slower. Deeper. Like he’s trying to memorize this version of you—buzzing and breathless and so fucking proud of yourself.
When he finally pulls away, he grins and taps the joint behind his ear.
“Celebration?”
You nod. “God, yes.”
He lights it. Takes a drag, passes it to you, and you both sit on the loading dock out back, knees bumping, fingers laced, smoke around your heads. The sun’s low in the sky. It’s chilly, but you don’t feel cold. Not with his hand in yours.
And everything’s… okay. Not fixed. Not perfect. But better.
Because loving Yoongi didn’t save you, and you didn’t save him. You still have bad days. Panic attacks. Guilt. Long, unbearable silences you have to claw your way out of. He does, too. Life is still life.
But he holds your hand through it.
And when things are good—like now, like this—you feel it in your bones: you love him. You fucking love him.
You lean into his side, head on his shoulder, and you think:
I can do this. I can live this life.
Especially if he’s in it.

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MAKE HIM DISLIKE LOVE YOU
Harry Castillo x Reader (The Materialists)
Chapter 9: Hurt
prev chapter series masterlist

Chapter Summary: Is love enough to overcome everything? -Yes. How? -No. Why? Warnings: 18+ (smut, MDNI) kinda romantic comedy stuff, fluffy, angst, lying, soft and caring Harry Castillo, Lucy as his ex, John as Lucy's ex, wealth, expensive gifts, drinks, money, cars, language, sexual tension, oral sex, p in v sex, kissing, slow burn, power imbalance, I might have missed some warnings; I will update them in due time. Chapter Word Count: 9,8k, ANGST (sorry for that), love, feelings, fluffy, rom-com, lust, passion, dirty talk, love triangle, intrigue, mention about death. authors note: I used Spanish and Italian language in some parts, I'm sorry if I made mistake, I'm still a learner. Feel free to warn me guys :) Thank you all for your support, asks, comments, reblogs and likes. I appreciate each and every one of you! Love you all!

“Baby, just try to breathe.”
That was the third time Harry had said it as you both stepped out of the car, holding hands while walking up to the mansion. But despite his reassurance, your nerves were still going wild.
Excitement mixed with anxiety as the weight of the moment settled in; you were about to meet your boyfriend's mother. Your mind raced with questions, each one jostling for attention like cars on a racetrack.
No, don’t think about cars, you reminded yourself.
You didn’t want to make a strange first impression by mentioning things like what men typically like. The last thing you wanted was for your future mother-in-law to think you were odd.
Mother-in-law.
That thought made you grin a bit.
Suddenly, you felt Harry’s lips on your temples, and you turned to him in surprise. “You looked like you needed that,” he said with a grin, wrapping his arm around your waist and leading you toward the door.
He was right; the kiss worked wonders. You gazed at the grand historical mansion in front of you, located in Brooklyn Heights, not too far from the bridge. It was surprisingly close to your and Zoe's apartment in Dumbo. Considering the Castillo family's wealth, you were taken aback to learn his mother lived here. On the way over, Harry had mentioned that his mother had faced a trauma that kept her from leaving the house for years. That made you feel a wave of empathy as you anticipated meeting her. Taking a deep breath, you tightened your grip on Harry's hand while clutching the bag of pastries and pie you had prepared all morning.
“Mr. Castillo, it’s great to see you again.”
An older guy opened the door, greeted Harry, and welcomed both of you in with a warm gesture. Stepping inside, the spacious reception hall welcomed you with its grandeur. The staircase twisted in multiple directions, adorned with wrought iron balustrades and floral designs. While you admired the surroundings, Harry helped you remove your coat before doing the same for himself, handing them to the man.
“This way,” he said, guiding you gently toward a large hall on the right with his hand resting on your back.
“Master Harry!” A woman in her sixties approached you, arms wide open and wearing a big grin. Dressed casually, her accent clearly revealed her Latin roots.
“How are you, Sofia?” Harry asked her.
“I’m better now that I’ve seen you!” she replied, giving his arm an affectionate touch.
Then, she turned her attention to you, her smile widening as she took in your appearance from head to toe. “Oh, Dios mío, qué mujer tan hermosa eres.”
Nervously, you smiled. Your Spanish wasn’t great, but you grasped the compliment. “Muchas gracias,” you managed to reply.
Her laughter rang out as she seamlessly switched back to rapid Spanish, leaving you a bit lost. You looked to Harry for help. “Sofia, could you please speak in English? I’m not sure she understands you,” he said to her.
“Oh, disculpa, señorita,” she said, looking at you, a bit embarrassed. “Mrs. Castillo is inside, waiting for you.” She took the bag from your hand and led the way.
As you walked in, you whispered to Harry, “I really need to work on my Spanish.”
He chuckled lightly. “It’s not on you. Sofia’s English isn’t great, and she loves speaking her native tongue. Sometimes she talks so fast that even I can’t keep up.”
“Oh yes, they’re here; I’ll call you later,” a voice came from the living room. When she hung up and turned around, you couldn’t help but admire her. She was a woman in her late sixties with short gray hair, stunning for her age. Honestly, she looked more like Harry's older sister than his mom.
Her gaze focused on Harry, and a joyful tear sprang to her eye as a wide smile spread across her face. “Mi hijo!” They embraced tightly, and you felt a warm smile cross your lips as you watched them. She playfully punched Harry on the shoulder. “You’ve really been a bad son! Is your job more important than your old mama?”
“Mother, must you embarrass me in front of my girlfriend?" he grunted.
Her gaze then shifted to you, prompting you to flash your most nervous smile. As her admiration deepened, you felt your cheeks heat up while she appraised you with a satisfied expression. “Oh, how beautiful you are!” she exclaimed, narrowing her eyes at Harry. “Now I see why you’ve been so busy.”
Harry chuckled as he introduced you.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Castillo,” you said warmly, extending your hand.
With a cheerful laugh, she shook your hand. “Oh, please, cariño, just call me Valeria.”
Sofia, the woman you met earlier, quietly stepped into the room and leaned in to whisper, her eyes sparkling with mischief as they both chuckled while looking at you. “Sofia says dinner’s ready; let’s head to the dining room,” Valeria announced, her gaze locking onto yours with intensity. Harry took your hand gently, and Valeria placed her hand reassuringly on your back. “Come on, sweetheart,” she invited with warmth.
Well, you hadn’t expected this kind of attention from Harry’s mom. She kept an eye on you until you were comfortably settled at the table. Harry pulled your chair out for you, sliding it in once you sat down, then took a seat right beside you. Valeria, at the head of the table, folded her hands and shot you a warm smile while Harry beamed with happiness as you two exchanged grins.
As dinner was served, Harry and Valeria chatted easily about work. When the conversation shifted your way, you answered every question honestly, sharing that your mom had passed away, your dad was living alone on your farm in Atlanta, and a bit more about your life. Valeria listened closely, her kind smile and supportive words making you feel at ease. When it was your turn to talk about your job—the part that made you the most anxious—Valeria surprised you. “Don’t feel ashamed, honey. This job is one of the toughest out there. People can be awful, but you’re amazing and hard-working, and you deserve more. Keep your head high; it’s the person who brings dignity to the job, not the job that brings dignity to the person.”
You recognized the quote. “Martin Luther King,” you said, smiling back in gratitude. "Thank you Valeria."
Harry then reached over the table to take your hand. “Actually, she’s done with that for now,” he said, looking deeply into your eyes. You smiled back. “Because I didn’t want her to wear out her beautiful, skillful hands,” he added, kissing your knuckles. A bit shy about the attention in front of his mom, you bit your lower lip and grinned nervously.
Valeria sipped her champagne, a playful smile lighting up her face. “Hmm, I sense a bit of ‘skillful’ in your tone, Harry.”
“She’s an incredibly talented bakery chef,” he proclaimed proudly.
"Um-" You were about to protest, but Harry continued, “You’ve got your certificate, love; it’s time to stop being modest. You’re officially a chef now,” he said with proud, prompting smiles between you.
“Oh, that’s wonderful.” Valeria said excitedly.
“And this made by this lovely lady herself, Mrs. Castillo,” Sofia chimed in with a smile as she entered the room, serving the dessert you’d prepared and placing it in the center of the table.
“Ah, Sopapilla?” Valeria said, her eyes lighting up in delight.
“Harry mentioned it was your favorite, so I made it for you. I hope you like it,” you said, biting your lower lip.
Sofia drizzled honey over the cheesecake before serving Valeria, then Harry, and finally you. “My baby's been hustling in the kitchen all morning to make this,” Harry said, glancing your way as he took a bite of the cheesecake.
“Ah, this is absolutely delicious! The best sopapilla pie I’ve ever had. It’s fantastic!” Valeria exclaimed eagerly, savoring another forkful.
“Thanks, I’m so glad you like it,” you said happily, relieved.
“I loved it, honey,” Valeria added, giving Harry a knowing look and then turning back to you. “It was really sweet of you to make this for me.”
As the evening went on, Harry shared stories about his family and showed you old photos in another room. He talked about his sister, who had passed away young due to a congenital disease, and how their mom struggled after that. He also shared the history of their home, which was built in the 1800s for a ship dealer and beautifully restored with modern touches after Harry’s dad immigrated from Mexico to New York. The house’s stunning design, with its vintage charm, offered breathtaking views of the city from the terrace, while the backyard was a serene escape, filled with plants, flowers, and dwarf trees, created since his mom couldn’t go outside anymore. It was a beautiful house, especially seeing it was where Harry grew up.
When you asked for permission to use the bathroom, Harry went to his mom. In the kitchen, he and Sofia were chatting about you.
“She’s got a pretty good figure,” Valeria giggled.
"And young too," Sofia said.
“Even better. Young enough to give me lots of grandchildren one day—hopefully.”
"Fingers crossed. Oh, Jesus, please hear our little prayers.”
They both raised their hands above as if praying, then laughed together.
Harry, hands on his hips, huffed in mock disapproval. “What kind of conversation are you two having about my girlfriend?”
Valeria took Harry's face in her hands and smiled warmly. “Harry, this girl is incredible. I was so nervous since it’s the first time you’ve brought someone home. But you really hit the jackpot! Don’t let her slip away; propose to her and put a ring on it! If you don't marry this girl, I'll beat the shit out of you regardless of your age,” she said, teasing.
Sofia chimed in with a laugh, “Last time you said that, Harry was only 19.”
They both shot her a look, and Sofia quickly looked away, focusing on her work.
“Mom, don’t worry. Even if she ever decides to leave me, I wouldn’t let her go. Besides, I was coming to ask you for your wedding ring.”
Valeria gasped, her hand flying to her chest. “Oh my! Are you really going to propose? Did you hear that, Sofia?”
Sofia clapped her hands excitedly. “Gracias Jesus! Finally, the moment you’ve been waiting for, Mrs. Castillo! God bless you, Harry,” her voice a little shaky from all the happiness.
Harry chuckled and then warned her, "Ssh, she will hear you."
“I thought you might never want that ring; thought it would just gather dust in the drawer,” Valeria said with a happy sigh. “Hold on, I’ll go get it for you.”
After Valeria left the kitchen, cheerfully murmuring to herself, Sofia turned to Harry. “I haven’t seen her this happy in ages, and neither have you. She was so down when you went to France, but now…” Her voice trailed off as tears welled up in her eyes. “Thank goodness for this moment; it’s such a blessing to see you both so blissful.”
Harry grinned back at her, totally oblivious to the fact that you were walking back from the bathroom and could hear him in the hallway. “Thank you, Sofia. I promise it won't happen again; she’s been through enough. Now that I’ve found the one, we will create our happiness together, and nothing will stand in our way. I won’t allow it.”
You smiled, hoping for the same.

The first day of the fair arrived just a few days after you received your certificate and master’s license. The logo design for the booth, brochures, banners, and everything else was set to go. After much consideration, you, Harry, and Mia -who insisted strongly- finally settled on the brand name “The Vanilla Vine.” Since it was the weekend, Zoe joined you at the booth. Harry was the first to test the desserts and sweets you made, followed by Maria, Mia, and John.
The fairgrounds brimmed with a tapestry of colorful booths, filled with throngs of eager visitors. As the hours slipped by, more and more people gravitated towards your booth, captivated by the tantalizing aromas wafting from your offerings. Each smile and compliment filled your heart with joy, a testament to all the hard work you had poured into this endeavor. However, as the sun began to set, the fatigue began to settle in, weighing on your limbs. Harry, receiving an urgent call, excused himself and hurried off, leaving just you and Zoe to manage the dregs of the day. Thankfully, it turned out to be a way better day than you expected—almost everything was sold out before closing time.
As John and Zoe were heading home together, you waved goodbye to them before getting into the car that Harry had sent for you. You were so ready to get home, take a shower, and collapse in bed—exhausted from the long day of cooking and standing around.
You were yawning when the elevator dinged as it reached Harry’s penthouse. You swiped the card against the door lock and stepped inside, finding the lights off. Hadn't he come home yet?
“Harry?” you called out, but there was no reply.
Only stillness answered, prompting you to pull out your phone. A quick call confirmed he would be home in a few hours. Sighing, you wandered into the laundry room, shedding your clothes before heading into the bathroom for a hot shower. You tossed your well-worn cooking apron and the remnants of your day’s attire into the washing machine. The steam enveloped you as you stood under the warm water, washing away the fatigue, and afterward, you slipped into bed wearing only Harry’s bathrobe, far too worn and loose for you, but comforting nonetheless.
You fell asleep pretty much right away.
When you woke without opening your eyes, you felt the bed dip as he slid next to you, followed by a gentle pressure on your cheek. His familiar, masculine scent of cologne wafted through the air, and you felt the tickle of his mustache as he kissed your cheek.
“You awake, baby?” he asked softly.
Not quite opening your eyes, you mumbled sleepily, “You came.”
He wrapped his arm around you, burying his nose in your damp hair. "Sorry I'm late. A few things came up."
His tone urged you to open your eyes. “Is everything okay?” you asked, not turning to face him.
"A few setbacks, but I’ll handle it tomorrow. Don’t worry about it. How did things go after I left? Everything run smoothly?"
You released a sigh of relief. “Yeah, it was fantastic—everything sold out.”
“They were all incredible. I’m not surprised at all. I’m so proud of you.”
“I couldn’t have succeeded without your support. Thank you for everything,” you murmured, turning to him.
He smiled wider, leaned down, and kissed you, his hand sliding under the collar of your robe, brushing your skin. “No underwear?”
You smiled at the thrill in his voice.
"I was so worn out to wear any. I still am," you murmured, turning onto your side and closing your eyes again teasingly.
Mischievously, he gathered your damp hair and slowly slid the robe down to your shoulder. He started placing soft kisses along your skin, moving to your neck. “I wonder how tired are you? Can you rate it for me?”
"I would rate it a solid 10 out of 10," you murmured again, trying to hide your amusement while content to enjoy his warmth.
“Hmm, that much? Well, can I have permission to fuck you while you sleep then, because I want you so bad.”
You turned to him lazily, your eyelids heavy. "Baby, I'm wiped."
He smiled mischievously and whispered into your face as he ran his lips along the edge of yours. "Hush, it's all right, love. Just stay still. I'll take care of you."
It was the first bit of excitement you felt, even though you were really tired, and you started to wonder if he was thinking about where to begin.
Damn.
The idea of him running his tongue over your skin was enough to make you wet. Drifting into consciousness slowly, you were enjoying the feel of being wrapped by his strong, warm arms. You stretched a little, toes pointed toward the end of the bed, and snuggled tighter into him.
However, his intention was not solely for cuddling.
His arm curved around you, slid a hand under the robe to cup your breast, gently pinching and rolling your nipple between his fingers. The stimulation made you gasp, the sensation blossoming out and down.
You suddenly noticed that Harry still hadn’t taken off his shirt. Your hands searched for the hem clumsily, he laughed at your efforts. With a swift movement, he yanked off his black T-shirt and tossed it to the floor. His arm slipped around you from behind as his other hand skillfully pulled the robe off you. The scent of fresh soap from your skin reached him, he couldn’t help but touch you again, trailing his lips softly over your skin. Your hands found the waistband of his pants with a bit more ease this time, and as you tried to unbuckle them in the low light, you noticed that the thrill of the moment was making you feel surprisingly more alert and less tipsy. As you loosened the belt, he delightedly caressed your neck and collarbone, then between your breasts, using wet touches of his tongue and smiling as he tasted lavender off your skin.
But now he was feeling impatient.
Dangerously so.
He sat on the bed to remove his pants and left them to the same fate as his T-shirt, returning to the bed to kiss you passionately. You both moaned from the vibrating waves of the touch as he insistently thrust his tongue into your mouth. You felt a shiver run through you as you realized that the taste of his tongue and saliva revealed he had just knocked back a strong whiskey.
Irish.
Neat.
He must’ve had about four or five shots.
He always went hard like that whenever he was feeling stressed.
It was kinda wild and almost beautiful to understand him just by tasting him.
It felt like reading a book without even looking at the pages.
He was too, and he relished tasting you just as much. He felt the vanilla frosting of the cupcake you had just popped in your mouth before you got in the shower - the only thing left from the fair - on his tongue and he sucked so hard that you couldn't help pushing yourself against him, almost sitting up in bed. You held onto his shoulders and his hand, which was everywhere at that moment, began to caress your legs sweetly. With a swift movement he got rid of his underwear and got back to business.
He ducked his head, kissing his way slowly up your belly, over your ribs, finally taking a nipple in his mouth and sucking gently. "Oh," you gasp, bucking your hips against him. Harry released the tender nub and blew gently. His breath was hot against your wet, cool skin, making you writhe.
You groaned and arched your back, then leaned in to kiss him. His kiss was now slow and thorough. He moved his mouth over yours, drinking more while he groaned. He nudged your thighs apart with his knee, lowering his hips to grind his hard cock against your pussy. You spread your legs wider, bringing your knees up and hooking your ankles behind his back. You felt him reach down and slide his fingers between your folds to rub against your clit. He dipped two fingers inside you, moaning as he slid easily into your hot, wet pussy. He grinded his hips in time with the stroke of his fingers inside you, his cock hard and rough against your clit.
“Oh god Harry,” you moaned, watching him.
He looked up at you, eyes glistening in the dim light. His mouth quirked up at the corners into a half smile. "Feels good, baby?"
You ran your fingers through his hair, which looked really dark, almost black, in the dim light. "Yes, keep going please," you craved.
As you moved your hand down his forehead, you gently touched his face, trailing your thumb over his eyebrows and giving his cheeks and jawline a soft caress.Then, your fingers wove through his hair again, with your thumbs circling around the contours of his ears this time, he smirked, clearly enjoying it. You sit up to kiss him again, rocking your hips against his palm as he continued pumping his fingers inside of you.
A groan escaped from your lips as you came.
He then captured your mouth in a fervent kiss to swallow your loud moans, pulling his fingers out slowly. “So fucking hot,” he hummed then dipped his head down to kiss your neck, hands pulling at your hips, flipping you onto your stomach.
You buried your face into the pillow, groaning when you feel his cock against your ass. He kneads your ass, pulling your cheeks apart. You could feel his knees on either sides of your thighs. He kissed your back, sliding the head of his cock down low between your legs to rest against your pussy.
He slid inside of you so slowly that every nerve sings. It glided against the taught, wet muscles, stretching and pulling. Harry's hips come to rest against your ass as he buried himself inside of you. He pulled back, movements measured and deliberate. "God, you're so tight, every damn time," he groaned.
Bringing your ass up, you pushed against him, silently begging for more. He grabbed you, long fingers wrapping around your hips. He pulled back but only to push himself forcefully forward into you with a grunt. "Fuck, you're driving me crazy. I want to fuck you so hard."
“Yes, please,” you beg, voice party muffled by the pillow.
“You want it hard baby?” he asked, voice ragged almost begging for your confirmation.
“Yes,” the muscles in your abdomen shuddered and tighten with expectation.
And that was it.
He rocked his hips back, his forward thrust slamming inside of you, repeating the motion again and again, bed rocking, springs creaking slightly with the rhythm.
Gripping the sheets desperately, "Harry," you moaned, mewled and gasped, your own movements limited by the position. He leaned over you, lips pressing to your shoulders and the back of your neck, licking sucking, nibbling.
Pressing your ass up, you pushed down against the bed, breathless. Harry shifted, pulling out. You felt his cock, wet and hard, smack against your thigh. You got up onto your knees, turning to your lover. He took your breasts in his hands, kneading them, rubbing his thumbs over your nipples.
“Baby,” he whispered, dipping his head to kiss you. His lips were soft and part readily. You reached down, taking his cock in your hand which was slick from your pussy. You tightened your fingers around his thick shaft, stroking slowly. He moaned and shifted back, sitting against the headboard. Your body moved with him, lips pressed to his, stroking his cock in your hand.
Stretching his legs out, he pulled you into his lap, fingers digging into your ass. Never breaking the kiss, you tilted his cock up towards you, slowly lowering your hips onto him.
Harry groaned.
You spread your knees to either side of his hips, taking as much of his cock as you can before rocking your hips back, grinding your clit down against him. He broke the kiss, running his tongue down along your neck, nipping gently at the base, just above your collar bone. You set the pace, increasing the speed as you find your rhythm and the pressure started to build in your core.
“Harry,” you gasped, gripping his broad shoulders for leverage. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you into him. He slid his left knee up the bed shifting onto his side enough to drive his hips up into you, head bent as he panted.
Kissing the top of his head, you wrapped your arms around his neck, grinding yourself down onto him faster, gasping. His cock was hitting you just right, sliding against your right spot. The pressure built quickly, your movements becoming frantic.
“Come baby, I want to feel you come,” he rasped.
With a loud moan, you collapsed into him, eyes squeezed shut and head falling back. The deep sensation of pleasure blast through you, setting off a chain reaction of bliss. Your pussy clenched around him, muscles milking him.
With an impatient growl, he pushed you down onto the bed, pushing your knees out wide. His hips pounded into you, rocking you back and down against the mattress. He gasped and grunted, head down, lost in the sensation.
You brought your hips up, snapping them upwards quickly in time with his thrusts. Digging your nails into his ass, you pulled him into you, moaning soft encouragements.
He shuddered, groaning, collapsing onto you as he came hard. He tightened his arms around you, sliding his cock in slowly once, twice, until only his chest moves against you in time with his quick, ragged breaths.
You slid your hands up his back, the outlines of his arms, biceps like faint messages under your fingertips. Harry kissed your chest, letting out a long, shaky breath against your skin. "God, I love you so much," he said, still catching his breath.
"I love you too Harry. So so much."
He lifted his head, a lazy smile spreading across his face as he gazed deeply into your eyes. Then, leaning in, he pressed his lips against yours for a slow, tender kiss.

In the morning, when Harry dropped you off at the convention center before work, he couldn't tear his eyes away from his phone. He was deep in a serious convo, his face all furrowed. You couldn't shake the feeling that something was off, but he wasn't sharing any details. Whatever it was, it felt like a dark cloud hanging over you both, even as he leaned in for that quick goodbye kiss before you left the car.
The second day of the fair turned out to be even busier than the first. You felt grateful that Zoe had taken time off from her job, as managing the booth alone was quite challenging. As much as you wanted Harry by your side, with his busy schedule, it was unreasonable to expect him to be there all day. Still, you couldn’t fault him; he had a lot on his plate at the company right now.
As the hours flew by, visitors showed a growing interest in the products at your stand. They kept asking about the shop, inquiring when it would open and expressing eagerness to visit, Zoe included.
“Have you signed the lease for the shop yet?” she asked while you arranged cupcakes on the display.
You replied, “Harry's a bit swamped at the moment, but we're just waiting to hear back from the shopkeeper about the lease terms.”
“Oh, I really hope everything goes smoothly. I can’t wait to be a waitress at your shop – my current boss is driving me crazy. He’s acting like I faked my sprained ankle to just chill on the couch all week or something,” she complained.
“What a jerk,” you said, frowning before a smile broke through. “I hope so too, girl.” You often daydreamed about the day when Zoe would be working alongside you as a waitress, serving customers the desserts you made while you managed the cash register, chatting with them and baking treats in your shop. That day didn’t seem so far off; it felt incredibly close.
You were on the verge of realizing your dream and had a wonderful boyfriend in your life. Everything was falling into place, and your life was almost perfect.
As you shared stories about how your dinner at Harry's mother's house went, two familiar faces approached your booth.
“Danilo! Bruno!” you exclaimed with excitement.
"Ciao, cara mia!” Danilo greeted you with a warm hug.
“I've missed you so much! How have you been?” you laughed, reminiscing.
“You won't believe it but Jack sent Melanie to a religious camp for young adults, and it’s been blissfully quiet at the manor. We're all finally finding some peace."
You sighed, “Damn it, Jack. He will never change.”
“Great boss, terrible dad,” he chuckled.
“Hmm, molto delizioso! Good job, cara mia,” Bruno chimed in as he sampled one of your cupcakes.
“I learned from the best,” you replied with a playful wink.
“I taught you well,” he grinned with pride.
Danilo let out an awkward laugh. “How can you claim that after just a few months? I’ve taught her countless tricks during our three years together, right, honey? I'm a master chef after all.” he said, narrowing his eyes.
You were about to respond when Bruno cut in again, “You mean a master chef at being jealous, Danilo? What she learned from me equates to five years of experience, not just three. I sped up her internship.” he added with a smug grin.
In that moment, the two began bickering in their native language. Zoe leaned closer to you. “Are they always like this?”
“I've seen them argue over the phone, but I’m shocked they are worse in person,” you chuckled.
By evening, you felt thankful for Danilo and Bruno’s company; their presence made the long day feel more bearable. You checked your phone but found no messages from Harry. Unlike yesterday, when his busy schedule hadn’t stopped him from sending silly texts that brightened your day, today was different. You opened the messaging app to find your lunchtime selfie still unread with a note:
Sopapilla pie is a hit at our booth today. Thanks for the idea ol'man.
Maybe he was just too busy to answer, you thought. Lost in your thoughts, Zoe’s voice broke through, “You need to see this,” she said, her expression anxious as she handed you her phone.
Nervously, you took it, bracing yourself. The screen displayed a tabloid article that sent your heart racing.
Is Castillofunds.co going under? Shares of Harry Castillo’s company have taken a dramatic nosedive, a major player in NYC's Financial District!
The next piece of news hit even harder.
Tense moments at Castillofunds headquarters. After the company lost shares quickly, founding CEOs Harry Castillo and his childhood friend Gerardo Armada reportedly got into a heated argument.
“Oh no. Harry,” you murmured, heart racing. You immediately dialed his cell, but it went straight to voicemail. You tried calling Oliver next, but he didn’t pick up either.
Anxiety wrapped around your entire body. What could have happened? Yesterday, Harry hadn’t said much; there hadn’t been time for a proper talk. How could he keep something so serious under wraps? Or, if he wasn’t aware, how could he fail to see the company spiraling down? Questions raced through your mind, and for a moment, you just wanted to escape and get to him. Your anxiety was overwhelming, and a sick feeling settled in your stomach. With Zoe and Danilo by your side, you asked them if they could cover for you at the booth while you stepped away. Thankfully, they agreed without hesitation.
You needed to reach Harry; you were worried about him.
As you made your way to the subway, your phone buzzed with a text message. You opened it right away, and your heart sank—it was from Alan.
Your boyfriend's downfall has begun. Just so you know, honey, this is only the beginning.
You froze, feeling a mix of anger and shock hit you as you remembered your last conversation with him.
That bastard.
Of course, he was behind this.
But no matter what he did, you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. You believed Harry's company would weather this storm.
Every company faces tough times, right?
When you arrived at the company building, you were taken aback. A furious crowd had gathered, waving banners and shouting slogans, while paparazzi filmed the chaos that was unfolding. Security was struggling to maintain control.
But things got even worse.
One of the paparazzi caught sight of you and pointed, drawing the attention of all the cameras. You felt frozen; you had never experienced anything like this before. Well, there was that one time with Melanie, but usually, the spotlight was on her, not you.
But now, the roles had flipped.
They all rushed toward you, and the questions began to come flooding in like bombs.
"Miss, is it true your boyfriend Mr Castillo's company is on the verge of bankruptcy?"
"Will this financial mess affect your relationship?"
"Did Mr. Castillo and Mr. Armada actually get into a fight?"
"Is it true that Mr. Armada is unable to pay his gambling debts and has been siphoning funds from the company?"
"What’s your take on all this?"
You swallowed hard, unsure of how to respond.
Suddenly, Oliver’s voice broke through the crowd. He reached you, grabbing your arm, and together, you hurried into the building, security guards ushering you past the relentless paparazzi and shouting crowd.
Just as the security team managed to slam the doors shut, you turned to Oliver. “Where’s Harry?”
“He's upstairs. Come on,” he replied, guiding you to the elevator.
“Ollie, what’s going on? Where did all this come from?”
He let out a troubled sigh as he pressed the button for the office floor. It was clear he was feeling the weight of the situation. “Gerardo. In Harry's absence, he got involved in illegal betting and gambling, attempting to cover his debts using company resources. He tried to bail out the company with post-dated checks, hoping Harry wouldn’t find out when he returned to NYC. But it backfired horribly. We’ve been trying to figure out how the finance and accounting teams missed this, but it seems part of the larger scheme.”
“What do you mean?”
“Alan has been deliberately concealing his identity while orchestrating the issuance of post-dated checks. The finance team, the accounting department, even the last company we did business with—he’s got them all in his pocket. It looks like he’s been plotting against us for a while. Gerardo fell right into his trap. He’s messed everything up. I can’t imagine how we’ll pull through this; we’re backed into a corner.”
Your chest tightened, and dread washed over you as the elevator reached the floor with Harry’s office.
The reminder of Alan's text kept bothering you, making you feel pretty guilty.
How did you underestimate him like that?
It all made sense now why Maria was acting so strange that day. You wished you had talked about it with Harry.
As you approached the office, you spotted Harry inside, deep in conversation with his lawyers and PR team.
Your heart sank.
It wasn't only his sad condition that concerned you; there was a wound marring the edge of his eyebrow. The paparazzi’s reports were true—he had been in a fight. Oliver slipped into the office without you noticing, as your attention was fixed on Harry's face. He leaned in and whispered something in Harry’s ear, prompting him to turn and look at you. When your eyes met, you offered him a weak smile, but it faltered as he didn’t return it.
The meeting wrapped up, and everyone filed out, looking grim. Harry stepped toward you.
“What are you doing here?”
Your hand instinctively reached out to his face, gently examining the small band-aid over his eyebrow. “I was worried. Are you okay?”
He sighed, weariness evident in his voice. “I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine,” he replied, lacking conviction. Taking your hand, he brushed your hair back with a faint smile. “Let’s get out of here.”
Making your way to the car was a daunting task; the paparazzi and remaining crowd persisted with their incessant questions and shouts until you finally managed to slip inside. As the car pulled away, you noticed the writing on the protesters' banner.
WE ARE HERE, WHERE IS YOUR CONSCIENCE?
YOU TOOK OUR DREAMS, AT LEAST GIVE US OUR MONEY BACK.
GIVE BACK OUR KIDS' FUTURE.
WE DEMAND JUSTICE.
You couldn't bear to watch any longer; it was just too frustrating. The sadness etched on Harry's face filled you with sorrow. Who knows how deeply he must be feeling all this? He chatted on the phone the whole way, but it seemed like everything was spiraling out of control. You didn't want to overwhelm him with questions, so you kept quiet; he was already struggling enough. You had asked him to take you to the fair after leaving Zoe there alone. Although you didn’t invite him to stay since he was feeling down, you agreed to meet up at home afterward. As the fair wrapped up, you should have felt happy that everything you cooked at the booth was cleared out. The attention had been great, but your thoughts were consumed with Harry. Nothing else seemed important while he was struggling through such a difficult time.
When you came home and saw him sitting at the counter, sipping whisky, you had planned to talk about the shop, but those thoughts quickly faded. Instead, your attention shifted to the glass he held. “Harry, how much have you had?”
The bottle was nearly half-empty.
"Hmm..." Looking up at you, he pursed his lips and held up his fingers—first one, then two, and finally all five on his palm. You chuckled at his expression and sighed, taking the glass from his grasp. “That’s enough, ol'man, move your ass.” He reluctantly agreed, allowing you to guide him to the couch, where you both sank down side by side.
“Things aren’t getting any better, are they?” you asked softly.
He closed his eyes, tilting his head back as fatigue washed over him. “I’m doing everything I can, but it’s incredibly tough. We have to cancel all our investment deals. We’re left with just the company’s assets to pay the employees. Even if we manage to make it work, what about the victims?Thousands of families are suffering.”
“Can’t the lawyers file a countersuit? Surely there's a way out. We could argue that this is a setup, that the post-dated checks were signed without Gerardo's consent. If we prove Alan has a personal vendetta against you...”
Hearing his name made him open his eyes in irritation. “Lawyers? They’re all in on it. Don’t you get it? There’s no way out!” he shouted, his frustration palpable.
When he noticed the shocked expression on your face, his tone softened. He cupped your face in his hands. “I’m sorry, baby, I...”
You placed your hands over his. “It’s okay. I understand how you feel; you’re angry, tired, hurt. But I truly believe you’ll get through this, I’m sure of it.”
He withdrew his hands and let out a troubled sigh. “I really don’t know; this is way worse than I thought it would be. We’ve been through tough times before, but we always made it work together. I can’t believe he’s been hiding stuff from me. I trusted him completely, and he went behind my back. I just don’t get how he could do that.”
“Alan clearly orchestrated this. He must have lured him into a trap,” you said, deciding it was time to share what you had kept from him. “Harry, I saw Maria that day, talking to Alan.” You frowned, gathering your courage to continue. “She looked upset and asked me not to tell you I saw her. I’m so sorry for not telling you sooner.” You bowed your head, hoping he wouldn’t be too angry.
He lifted your chin gently, forcing you to meet his gaze. “Baby, that doesn’t matter now. What Gerardo did happened a long time ago. And Maria was probably trying to protect her assets. She must have been thinking about Mia. But I wish you both had been honest with me.”
“I thought it was something personal for her, nothing to do with you, so—”
He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “It’s not your fault, love. You had nothing to do with this. I’m really sorry, but I’ll have to delay renting the shop for now. I promise that as soon as the economy improves, I’ll make sure to get the shop and hand it over to you.”
You gazed up at him. “Harry, I don’t care about opening the shop under these circumstances. We’ll figure things out, I’m sure of it. Everything will be fine.”
He smiled, resting his forehead against yours. “Thank you. I feel so fortunate to have you by my side. You’re my strength. I love you so much.” He leaned down to kiss you softly.
“Ow, you smell like a liquor store, baby.” you chuckled, standing up and tugging at his hand. “Come on, up you get! Let’s get you in the shower, and then we can hit the hay ol'man. You know what they say—a good night’s sleep can work wonders.”
Suddenly, he swooped you into his arms, effortlessly lifting you onto his lap. “You’re the only remedy I need, mi amor.” He continued kissing you as you made your way to the bathroom together.

The final day of the fair turned out to be far worse than expected. News that had started circulating online was now splashed across TV screens, and conversations about it filled the subway and the streets. Harry was in worse shape than ever, and seeing him like that tugged at your heartstrings, making you feel as if your heart were being squeezed. When his mother, Valeria, called and invited you over to her house, you agreed and left the fair early that day.
Upon arriving at her home, Valeria enveloped you in a tight embrace, tears streaming down her face. She spoke of her concern for Harry, saying she felt helpless about not being able to reach him. You tried to comfort her, assuring her that Harry was with you and would remain close. However, you refrained from sharing too many details, as it was clear she was deeply sensitive about her son’s plight. Before you left, she hugged you one last time at the door. “I’m so grateful you’re there for my son. I’ve felt terrible for being unable to leave this house, it’s never been this tough.”
“Valeria, please don’t blame yourself. As for Harry, there’s no need to worry; he’ll be okay. I’ll be by his side and do everything I can to help him through these hard days. We’ll get through this.”
Her eyes glimmered with a mix of gratitude and sorrow as she clasped your hand gently. “Thank you, dear. It eases my heart to know you’re there for him during these days when I can’t be.” You could feel the weight of her worry—like any mother, she was deeply concerned about her son.
Leaving her house and walking down the street, you were set on doing whatever it took to help Harry feel better. You thought about whipping up his favorite dessert or putting on that dress he loved, but first, there was something else you needed to do.
You had to meet Alan.
As you arrived in front of the hotel, you steeled yourself, gathering your courage. Perhaps you could persuade him to reconsider; you weren’t sure, but you knew it was worth a shot. If you could understand his motives, it might help you steer things in the right direction. In this battle, you had to make sure your man didn’t end up losing.
You were ready to do whatever it took to help him overcome all obstacles.
The doorman greeted you with a smile, recognizing you as you entered. Learning that Alan was in his room, you took the elevator to his floor. Nerves crept in as you headed to a hotel room, but you pushed them aside, determined to present a strong front.
As the owner of the hotel, Alan lived in the penthouse on the top floor.
The elevator opened directly into his room, and while you glanced around, feeling uncomfortable in his lavish space, you reminded yourself to stay focused.
“Hello, gorgeous.”
At the sound of his voice, you turned to see him lounging at the bar area, a drink in hand and a smug grin plastered across his face. Dressed in a satin robe, he glanced at his watch. “I expected you earlier; you’ve caught me by surprise,” he said, taking a sip of his drink, then he raised it. “Care for some?”
Asshole was acting as if nothing had happened.
Crossing your arms, you replied, “No, I don’t want anything. Look, whatever you’re doing, just stop it. I get that you want revenge—I lost my mother too—but this won’t bring her back. Besides, Harry is innocent in all this, he didn't deserve-.”
“How can Harry be innocent? That woman is his mother.”
“She’s already lost a daughter. What’s hurting her even going to do for you?”
He shrugged. “At least it gives me some relief. Watching them suffer makes me feel better, just like my mother suffered because of them.”
“Alan, listen—”
“Save your breath, sweetheart. What’s coming is inevitable. The Castillo family will pay for what they’ve done.” He finished his drink, setting the glass down on the counter. “The company was just the beginning. Tomorrow, Harry will lose his penthouse with the breathtaking view due to foreclosure and debts he can’t cover. And soon enough, his mother will lose her house too.”
You frowned. "That woman can't leave her house because of her illness. You can't do that. You can't be so cruel."
As he approached you, the look in his eyes made it clear he could, indeed, be that cruel. "Do you think I care? They deserve whatever’s coming to them. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do."
“It was a mistake to come here,” you said as you turned to leave, but he grabbed your arm to stop you. "But nothing is beyond repair. Maybe you can change this."
A flicker of hope ignited within you. "Me? How? What can I possibly do?"
He smiled, a chilling grin. “Don’t underestimate yourself, sweetheart; you have no idea how much you mean to me.” He reached out, intending to touch your face, but you angrily pushed his hand away.
"Stop it. Just tell me what you want. Oh, let me guess—you want me to break up with Harry?"
He chuckled. “Nah, I’ve changed my mind. I know you won’t leave him, no matter what happens.”
You tried to mask your surprise. “So, what do you want from me?”
“One night." He locked eyes with you. "I want you to spend just one night with me.”
The way he said those words sent a shiver down your spine. The mere idea made your stomach turn. “What kind of sick bastard are you?”
"I'm offering you a choice, and it comes with just one condition, sweetheart. If you don’t comply, you’ll have to watch your man falter and see the heartbreaking news about the Castillo family everywhere. Think it over. Harry's fate is in your hands."
"Do you think I'm an idiot? How can I trust you won't pull a fast one on me?"
He chuckled and leaned closer. "What other options do you have?"
You fell silent, realizing you had none.
"I'll draft a contract between us. I’ll ensure Harry gets everything he needs to stabilize the company’s stock, and I’ll drop the lawsuit. Would that satisfy you?"
Just like that?
That seemed too simple.
"What is this, a telenovela? Will you be satisfied when I sleep with you? Will you leave your revenge just like that?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Harry's been shaken up enough, and he's going to have a hard time putting the company back together, watching his misery that's enough to satisfy me. But of course as soon as you volunteered to satisfy my needs-"
You slapped him in the face. “You piece of shit!”
He put his hand where you hit him and smiled wickedly. “So you're not accepting my offer?”
Fuckin' asshole.
You squinted at him, your whole body shaking with anger. "I would rather spend the night with Joffrey Baratheon. Yeah, I know he's a fictional character, but at least I could beat the bastard up and my night would be more interesting.” you said and turned around to leave.
“Suit yourself,” he said behind you. "But remember, whatever happens to Harry next will be your fault. And about those telenovelas... They may be exaggerated and clichéd, but know that in the end they're always have a point.”

The next day, things took a turn for a lot worse. Just when you thought it couldn't get any shitty, everything spiraled out of control. The streets outside the company overflowed with an army of paparazzi, their cameras clicking like a relentless drumbeat, while protesters shouted, their voices rising in a tumultuous chorus of anger and despair. Even Forbes magazine, which had once celebrated Harry on its cover, was now reporting that his company was teetering on the brink of bankruptcy and that he had slipped off the list of the wealthiest people. When Maria and Mia came to visit you one evening, you watched them through the door as they talked about losing their home. They were filled with sadness and desperation. You couldn’t help but wonder what else could possibly go wrong, and then it did. The Feds and the SEC even IBRC got involved.
That’s when the last text from Alan arrived on your phone.
This is your last chance to save your man.
But it wasn't just the urgency in the text that spurred you to act; it was the sight of Harry himself. He looked so lost, so deeply unhappy that your heart ached for him. Maybe it was reckless, stupid, maybe he’d come to resent you for this decision—or maybe, just maybe, this was the only way to pull him back from the brink.
He would understand eventually, wouldn’t he?
That night, as you lovingly caressed his face while he slept beside you, your mind raced with turmoil. He had increasingly sought solace in alcohol, and fatigue clung to him like a shadow. He was your everything; you would do anything for him, anything.
The next morning, after preparing breakfast—he barely touched it—you sent Alan a text as Harry left for work.
Your fingers shook as you typed, tears in your eyes.
Tonight.
That evening, you slipped into the underwear and the dress you knew you would tear them off and throw them into the trash afterwards. You wrote a note to Harry, left it on the counter, and stepped out of the house.
But first, you had to see someone.
Jack.
You needed to prepare yourself for the big fish that wanted to swallow you whole, instead of being just another fish on the line.

It was around ten o'clock when you finally arrived at the hotel. Your heart raced with nervousness; you felt like a sacrificial lamb, and the thought of what could happen made you feel disgusted. How could you allow another man to touch you, especially someone you despised?
When you caught sight of the elevator, fear gripped you so tightly that you almost turned back.
But no, you had to summon your courage.
You were doing this for the man you loved. All Alan had to do was sign the contract you had arranged through Jack's lawyer.
You were ready to pay the price for that—a straightforward agreement. Seemingly simple, but a gnawing sense of dread gnawed at you from within.
You clutched the belt of your trench coat tightly as the elevator ascended, your nausea returning. Perhaps it was simply the tension building inside you. The elevator bell startled you, and your palms were slick with sweat. As you stepped inside, you felt timid at first, but upon seeing Alan and his unnecessary smug smile, you lifted your chin and approached him with purpose.
“There you are,” he said, his victory grin irritating you even more.
Taking a deep breath, you retrieved the documents from your bag and laid them on the counter. “Sign it now.”
He glanced at the papers. “What’s this? No kissing, no hugging—this is the kind of stuff escorts ask for, or somethin'?”
You shot him a withering glare.
"Well, I already had these documents prepared, sweetheart," he said, showing his briefcase.
“I don’t trust you, which is why I asked Jack to draft them. Sign them or I’ll go back,” you stated firmly, trying to keep your expression icy and unyielding.
He chuckled. “Hmm, clever. Fine, but I’d like to read them first.” He settled onto the barstool and began examining the pages. “There are some carefully crafted clauses in this contract that will benefit Harry's company and the entire Castillo family. But what about you? Don’t you demand anything?”
You understood his meaning but tried not to care. You had already made up your mind. “Are you going to sign it or not?”
He looked at you with a serious expression. “If I have to pay a price to get you out of those clothes, then so be it, honey,” he replied, starting to sign each page one by one.
A mixture of relief and anxiety washed over you. Your heart raced at the thought of what was to come, and you felt your courage slip away.
But there was no turning back now.
Once he finished signing, he slid the documents back across the counter towards you. As you reached for the folder, he seized your hand and pulled you closer. “I’ve done my part; now it’s your turn.”
A shiver ran down your spine, and you nearly burst into tears, but you steadied yourself. Putting the folder in your bag, you turned to him. “Just one thing: Harry can’t find out about this.”
He nodded, his impatience growing. “Okay, I swear.”
You untied the belt of your trench coat, took it off and put it on the chair. You were emotionless looking at him, or tried to be.
You felt like you were stuck in quicksand and you were sinking deeper and deeper as he approached you, staring at you like a hungry wolf.
You closed your eyes tightly when he reached out and touched your cheek. You tried to suppress the urge to sob as he slid his hand slowly from your cheek to your neck, your body shaking. Suddenly he wrapped an arm around you, pulled you to him and pressed his lips hard against yours. Instinctively you closed your lips tightly, it was so disgusting. You placed your hands on his chest and pushed him away while he kissed you more eagerly.
But then suddenly he paused and pulled back. Only then did you realize that you were crying.
He looked at you licking his lips, grinning with disappointment.
“Okay, that's it.”
You looked at him with your eyes wide open. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. "Wh-what?"
He walked back to the bar, sat down and poured himself a drink. You had a lot of questions, but the first thing you thought was that he backed out of the deal because you didn't kiss him back. "You signed the papers, you can't back out now."
"I’m not backing out; that was the agreement between us. It's done."
"But you said-"
"I prefer a woman who is eager to sleep with me," he said, looking at you angrily. “I'm not a fucking rapist. Now go, leave me alone,” he said and sipped his drink.
Confused but relieved, you picked up your trench coat and put it on. He didn't even look back as you walked to the elevator. But that was good, you sighed deeply to yourself. You hadn't imagined getting out of here like this.
With a strange sense of relief.
But then you remembered that bastard kissed you. "Ugh, that's disgusting. I should wash my mouth out with soap until it hurts. Eww.” you muttered to yourself while frantically wiping your lips with a wet tissue.

It wasn’t yet past midnight when you stepped into the dim corridor leading to Harry’s apartment. The elevator ride felt surreal, each floor ticking by as hope bloomed in your chest. You were grateful to return intact, clutching the crucial documents that could save both him and the company. Everything would be fine from here on out. You just had to sweep tonight's events under the rug, even if their stench lingered.
As you pushed open the apartment door, a wave of confusion washed over you. There, shrouded in the shadows, sat Harry, motionless on the counter.
When had he returned?
Oliver had mentioned he would be out late, and the stark absence of lights only heightened the weird atmosphere. Hesitant steps carried you closer, but the heaviness of your night weighed heavily on your mind. You inhaled deeply, attempting to steady your nerves, and called out softly, “Harry?”
His gaze pierced through the dark, and it made you falter. You had expected to find him with a drink in his hand, yet he appeared unsettlingly sober. On the counter, bathed in the soft glow of the city lights, your note rested beside an ornate ring box.
Something felt off.
“Baby, are you okay?” you ventured, your voice quavered as it broke the silence.
He absently glanced at his phone, muttering, “You’re back early.”
A lump lodged in your throat as you scrambled for your thoughts.
“‘I’ll be with Zoe. I might stay with her if it’s late,’” he recited, pointing at your note.
Clearing your throat, you forced out, “Well, yes. We finished up early and decided to head home.”
“Oh yeah?” he said, showing you his phone screen.
Your heart dropped like a stone.
There on the screen was a photo of you lingering in the hotel lobby, captured just hours ago.
Who the fuck... How?
You closed your eyes tightly, willing yourself to choose right words.
“Harry, let me explain,” you began, but he silenced you, lifting the ring box instead.
“This…” he opened the box slowly, revealing a stunning antique diamond ring that sparkled amidst the gloom, “was from my mother. I had intended to give this to you, to propose... later.”
“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, awe mingling with pain.
“It is. It was. Everything was beautiful—until this night,” he spat.
“Wh-what do you mean by that?”
He stood up abruptly, his grip seizing your shoulders with a force that was both desperate and heartbreaking. “How could you go to him?”
“Harry, just listen. I... I did it for you,” you implored, your eyes wide with plea.
His eyebrows arched in disbelief as he tightened his grip. “For me?”
“Yes! Everything I did was for you.” You fished your bag and pulled out the papers, placing them before him. “I was going to give these to Oliver, but now that you know everything, they’re yours. Alan signed them all. You can save your company.”
“Fuck the company!” he bellowed, the sound echoing off the walls and making you jump. The fury in his eyes pierced right through you as he clutched your shoulders fiercely. “You were all I cared about! The company, everything else—it didn’t matter as long as you were with me. But you…” He shook you roughly, tears spilling over onto your cheeks. “How could you do this to me?”
“Harry, listen... You were so sad, and I thought—I thought I could help...” you swallowed, your voice breaking.
“What did you expect would happen? Did you really think I’d be fine with you sleeping with my enemy?”
“Please... I thought that was my only option. It was all I could think of to help you.”
He finally released you, his hands trembling as they fell away. Tears welled up in his eyes, catching the light like tiny gems. “Even if it meant losing me, everything we have?"
You sniffled, tears flowing freely now. “All I did was love you and think about you.”
“You were thinking of me? Yet you didn’t have me in mind when you went to him, did you? Maybe you were too eager,” he said, the sharpness of his words cutting deep into your heart.
In a moment of raw pain, you slapped him.
With the impact, he turned his head to the side, eyes squeezed shut, and sighed deeply.
How could he say something like that to you?
You waited for him to apologize.
But he didn't.
Did it truly not matter what you had done for him?
How could he be so cold?
With a shattered heart and a deep breath, you managed to get the words out.
“Goodbye, Harry.”
The simple farewell fell from your lips like a final breath as you turned and walked toward the elevator.
And just like that.
It was over.
He might have regain his company and his reputation, but in the end, he had lost you.

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What do you Know? !NSFW!
Word count: 4.061
Content warnings: MDNI; smut, shower sex, angst with a happy ending
Summary: You wake up in Maya's bed after helping her with marketing late at night. But as the months go on, her avoidant and disorganized attachment styles come out along with a job offer from another studio, leaving you to make a life changing decision.
A/N: Hi!! I have officially moved to Miami! I'm still getting settled in, but I have a lot of time to myself this week, so I managed to pop this little oneshot out. Also, AU, Maya doesn't have a son (yet *wink wink*)
Spotify
Masterlist



When you accepted the position as Continental Studios’ second creative executive, you didn’t expect it to end like this.
When you decided to stay late at work to help marketing with strategy, you didn’t expect it to end like this.
You didn’t expect to be in Maya’s office at almost 12am, lights dimmed, drinks poured, nobody else in the building. You didn’t expect the conversations to turn into anything deep, or anything important.
You expected Maya’s snarky responses–and you got plenty of those. You expected hours of brainstorming, new poster ideas, and boxes of sushi delivered to her desk. What you didn’t expect was lingering touches and whispered confessions.
And you didn’t expect to be waking up in her West Hollywood home, wrapped in her satin sheets and legs tangled with hers.
Her arm is thrown over your waist, a heavy weight that’s oddly comforting. But there’s an ache in your chest that feels like shame, and a dull thumping in your head leftover from the drinks last night. The memories from last night flood back to you—her head between your legs, her nails scratching down your back as you return the favor.
Oh, fuck.
You think of ways to get yourself out of this situation. If you leave without a word, it’ll make work even more awkward than it already will be today. You look down at her left hand resting against your abdomen—that same hand that brought you to the edge over and over and over again, after you pointed out the two shorter nails.
“That’s not a stylistic choice, is it?” you had asked her, the third drink of the night hitting you hard. “I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have said that.”
But her reaction instilled even more confidence than the alcohol had. Her lips curled into a wicked grin and when she spoke, her voice was low and seductive. “Why don’t you find out?”
You carefully remove Maya’s arm from your waist and sit up slowly. You cringe with each move you make, desperately hoping that she doesn’t wake up. When your feet hit the rug that lays beneath the bed, you bend down to gather the discarded clothes that she tore from your body last night.
You hold the clothes close to your chest and as you tiptoe toward the bathroom, you hear her throat clear.
“Got somewhere to be?” When you turn around, Maya is resting on her elbow, head in her hand as she grins. “Oh, turn back around, honey. You’ve got a cute ass.”
Your eyes drift to where the sheets have fallen off her bare chest, cheeks going warm before you redirect back up. “I—Um—It’s six. I was just gonna go take a shower…” Your voice is quiet and uncertain, but you take a risk, “…If you’d like to join me.”
Maya gets out of bed and walks over to you, mesmerizing as her hips sway. She looks down at you and brings her hand up to hold your chin. “Well, how could I say no to that face?”
A shower with Maya is never just a shower with Maya.
The granite shower tiles are cold beneath your soapy back as Maya presses you against the wall. The water runs over you both in a steady stream. Her hands run over your body, lips on yours in a heavy, heated kiss.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” you breathe.
Maya kisses you again. “But isn’t that what makes it fun?”
You gasp as her fingers find your clit, running tight circles on it as her lips skim over your neck. Your nails dig into her hips and you shiver under her touch.
“Touch me,” she commands, teeth nipping at the base of your ear.
You let out a gasp followed by a breathy laugh, “Yes, ma’am.”
“Say it again,” she groans, and your fingers slip inside her.
“Yes, ma’am,” you repeat. Her fingers circle faster, dipping just barely into your entrance before going back up. Your chest heaves and your legs start shaking. “Maya—I’m—Oh, God!”
Her head falls onto the wall beside you, forearm blocking you in completely on the other side. “I know, baby. I—Fuck—!” Her lips crash into yours. It’s messy, with tongues clashing and spit clinging to your lips as the shower water streams down your face. “Cum for me,” she breathes. “Now. Cum for me.”
The sight and feeling of you cumming on her fingers sends her over just moments after you. You hold each other up, panting into each other’s mouths. Your head falls back onto the tile and she presses soft kisses to your neck, being careful to not leave any obvious marks.
You can feel her inhale sharply, breath tickling the delicate skin of your neck as she groans, “What a way to start the day, hm?”
What a way, indeed.
“Um…Maya?” In a white towel, you stare at the clothes you wore to work the previous day. “I don’t have any other clothes, and these smell like the vodka you spilled all over me.”
Maya takes your shirt and brings it to her nose, recoiling instantly in disgust. “I wouldn’t let my worst enemy wear that…that’s not true.”
Her walk-in closet is massive—almost the size of your bedroom back at your townhouse. She searches through the racks of clothes, trying to find something that would suit your style more. Eventually, she finds something to your taste and brings it back to the bathroom.
Maya takes a look at the underwear in your pile of clothes. She bends over, picks them up, and when she stands up straight she examines them as they hang from one finger. “Hm…looks like these are ruined…” She looks at you and grins. “I guess I’ll have to let you borrow a pair of mine.”
You stop breathing as she struts back into the closet. When she’s back, the pair you had are nowhere in sight, and she tosses a pair of black lace panties at you.
You can feel Maya’s eyes on you as you slip her own underwear on yourself. She sighs, shaking her head, “Just as I thought…you look so much better in them than I do…”
“Maybe you’ll just have to let me keep them,” you shrug.
Maya’s tongue pokes through her cheek and you can see her eyes darken. “Oh, don’t tempt me, sweetheart.”
With your inebriated state the previous night, both of you left your cars in the Continental Studio reserved parking lot. The Uber Maya orders doesn’t pull up out front though. You’re taken to the back gate entrance.
“Why this way?” you ask.
Maya doesn’t look up from her phone. “Because if those two jackasses see us get out of this car together they’ll immediately jump to conclusions.”
Jump to the right conclusions, you think
That night repeats many, many times. Occasionally it’s at your townhouse, most of the time it’s at her place, though. It’s how Maya destresses.
You knew that after a meeting where she fought with Sal or a director was being a pain in her ass, you’d see that message. Or, if she was feeling risque, she’d come into your office at lunch and murmur in your ear something along the lines of, “I’m getting takeout for dinner tonight, and I would love it if you joined me.”
Usually the takeout would go cold, and then she’d complain a few hours later when you’re back in the kitchen after “destressing”. And then, while it heats up, she’ll set you down on the counter and have you again as an appetizer.
And you love it in the beginning.
But the months continue. Fall turns into Winter, and on the horizon of Spring, you’re looking at an offer letter for an executive position at Paramount Studios.
The door to your shared office opens and Quinn enters. “What’s that?”
You set the letter down on your desk and sigh. “Paramount Studios wants me as an executive.”
“Oh, shit!” Quinn says, her smile bright.
“It’s in their New York division.”
Her smile drops. “Oh, shit.”
You lean back in your chair as Quinn unpacks her lunch and turns on her desktop. “Can I tell you something? You can’t tell anyone else.”
Quinn eyes you suspiciously. “Yeah…?”
“For the past five months…” You hesitate saying the next words and can just barely make eye contact with her. “I’ve been sleeping with Maya.”
Quinn almost chokes on her water. “What?”
You nod.
“How–When–?”
“It was that night when I stayed late to help marketing,” you sigh. “She sent her little minions home, took out a bottle of really expensive vodka from her desk and just kept pouring.”
Quinn stares at the floor, thinking. “I mean, she’s not your superior, so…Isn’t she, like, twenty years older than you?”
“Seventeen, actually,” you say matter-of–factly. Your smile drops and you get quiet. “She’s avoiding me, though. I used to be over at her place like three times a week, or she’d be over at mine. Now she’s not even answering my texts.”
“She’s ghosting you?” Quinn asks.
“Yeah,” you say painfully. “It’s not even ghosting, though. I see her at work five days a week. The last time we spoke was three days ago and it was her asking me what I wanted for the staff catering order.”
“Have you tried asking her about it?” Quinn suggests.
“It’s Maya,” you groan. “She’s not the type for commitment. If I asked her, she’d probably redirect the question.”
Quinn looks at you quizzically, a grin growing on her face. “Do you love her?”
“What?” You scoff, not making eye contact with her.
“Do you love her?” Quinn asks again. “It’s a simple question.”
“I–I mean…” You’re trying to find the right words, but you have no idea if those exist. “I don’t know…”
“Well what do you know?” Quinn asks, taking a bite of her kale salad.
You sigh, begrudgingly answering her question. “I know that her favorite color is red, because it makes her feel the most confident…and that her guilty pleasure music genre is 70’s and early 80’s pop, even though she says her favorite genre is 90’s and 2000’s rap…”
You pause and think, voice going quiet as you continue. “And I know that…she says she’s a dog person, but actually she really wants a cat because her parents never let her get one…and that she already has a name picked out for the cat…”
You start thinking about the smaller things you’ve noticed over the months. “I know that when she’s super concentrated, her nose scrunches up and she makes duck lips…and that, even though she doesn’t say it, she prefers being the little spoon…and her love language is gift giving and physical touch and…”
“Quinn…” Your eyes water and you’re desperately trying to hold back your tears. As you start crying, she gets up and crosses the room. You cry into her shoulder as she hugs you tightly. “I hate it. I hate this feeling. I want her so badly, Quinn! I–God, I do love her, and I hate it.”
Days go by as you contemplate the job offer from Paramount. But the only thing you can think about is Maya.
You knock on the glass window of her office door. A quiet ‘Come in’ sounds from the other side and you enter cautiously. When Maya looks up from her computer, she flashes you a soft, almost polite, smile before going back to her work.
“Hi.”
You smile back as you approach her desk. “Hi.”
“What’s up?” She doesn’t look up from her monitor.
You feel awkward, like you shouldn’t be here. Maya seems disinterested and you hesitate when answering her question. “Nothing…Just seeing how you’re doing…We haven’t talked in a bit.”
Maya shrugs, still not looking up from her computer, “Well, I’ve been super busy…If my interns knew how to do their jobs correctly, I might actually have some fuckin’ free time.”
You let out an amused hum, the silence thick and awkward. “Um…Paramount has offered me a top creative executive position.”
“Really?” Maya finally looks up at you.
“Yeah.”
“You’re taking it, right?” she asks, like it's obvious what the answer is.
“Uh–I’ve been mulling it over…”
“What do you mean ‘mulling it over’?” she scoffs. “It’s an i–”
“It’s in the New York division,” you say.
She pauses, “Oh…Well, it’s a really good opportunity. I think you should go. They’d be really lucky to have you.”
“What if I didn’t want to go?” you ask quietly.
“Why would you turn down an opportunity like this?” she scoffs, laughing in a way that feels like she’s mocking you.
“Well, it’s really far from my family,” you shrug, “and I love working here, and…” The words are on your tongue. You’re trying so hard not to say them, but you’re desperate to know the answer. “What are we?”
“What?”
“What are we?” you ask again, “I mean–Am I–Am I just sex to you? Am I just here for when you need to ‘destress’? Is this just a fling?”
“Excuse me?” Maya asks, eyebrows raised in shock.
“We’ve known each other for five years,” you say, voice quiet, almost hurt. “And you don’t even seem fazed that I’m about to move to the other side of the country.”
“Well, what do you want me to say?” she snaps. “Don’t go? Stay here?”
“Yes!” you cry.
Maya stands up, her hands on the desk as she leans toward you. “Why would I ever ask you to give up such an amazing opportunity?”
“Maya, I don’t want to leave!” you shout, emotion tightening in your throat. “I don’t want to move across the country! I want…I want you!” Your shoulders drop and your face softens. “But you’ve pulled away from me! You won’t answer my texts! We’ve barely talked in weeks!”
You can see her eyes falter briefly, but her face is stone cold and you can see the stubbornness return. You swallow hard, “And I can’t go back to just being colleagues who get drinks after work and only talk when passing each other in the hall. I don’t want to go, but if you don’t want me anymore…then I will…I’ll go.”
Maya sits back down, pursing her lips as leans back. “Okay.”
“Okay?” you repeat, trying to hold your head high.
“Go to New York,” she shrugs, and acts like the whole thing doesn’t matter to her. “I’m not stopping you.”
You can feel your heart break and your voice tightens. “Okay.”
By the end of the day, your resignation letter is printed out and signed. It’s placed on Matt’s desk as you struggle to look at him, your voice quiet as he reads it.
“I really will miss it here,” you say.
Matt sighs as he drops the letter onto the desk. “Well, we’ll miss you. Five years is a good run. You’re a great executive.” He’s quiet as he thinks. “How much are they offering you?”
“One-fifty,” you answer. “It’s not much more than I was making here, but you know me. I don’t do this for the money–at least, not entirely.
“I’ll give you one-hundred-seventy-five grand a year,” Matt says.
You open and close your mouth, not knowing what to say. “Um–Matt–I…It’s not about the money. It’s a…personal issue. I genuinely enjoy working here, but I just…can’t. I have a meeting with the president of Paramount in New York next Thursday. I’ll be signing my contract then, and I’ll be flying back that night to finish some stuff up here on Friday…and yeah.”
Matt nods carefully and looks at the letter again. “I hope you know that you can always rely on me for a good recommendation. You’re an amazing executive and Paramount will be very lucky to have you.”
Next Wednesday comes quickly. You haven’t heard a word from Maya since that day in her office. You had seen her in meetings and in the hallways–brief glances, tense eye contact–but neither of you spoke a word to each other and it was killing you.
“You’re really leaving, huh?” Quinn watches as you pack up the final items on your side of the shared office.
“Yep.”
“Are you sure you wanna do this?” she asks.
You don’t look up as you clean out your desk, “I told you, Quinn. I can’t stay here. I see Maya in the hallway and I wanna…crawl out of my skin.”
“I’m gonna miss you,” she sighs.
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” you huff, throwing some trinket into a box.
Quinn scrunches her eyebrows. “Because it’s true…?” She scoffs as she leans back and opens a cup of yogurt. “You’ve worked here for five years. We started here together, you’re one of my closest friends, everyone here loves you. So, of course when you leave to go work in New York City we’re gonna be a little sad.”
__________
A loud knock on the door startles Quinn from her procrastination fanfiction. She gets up and opens the door, meeting Maya with a raised eyebrow.
“What’s up?”
“I need to talk to her,” Maya says.
“Who?”
Maya’s jaw drops. “Who the fuck do you think?”
“She’s not here,” Quinn shrugs, and opens the door to reveal your empty side of the office.
“Where the fuck is she?” Maya gapes as she stands in the doorway.
“On her way to New York City,” Quinn says, sitting back down at her desk.
“Why?” Maya asks. “It’s Wednesday. Her last day is Friday.”
“She’ll be back tomorrow night, but she has a meeting with Paramount tomorrow morning to sign on.” Quinn waits a beat and then looks up from her computer and adds, “Which you’d know if you bothered talking to her.”
“Oh go back to your Harry Potter fanfiction!” Maya snaps, and slams the door behind her.
She rushes across the second floor, past offices and boardrooms, pushing through groups of gathered interns and assistants until she makes it to Matt's office.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
Maya bursts through the office door, in a heated frenzy of anger and frustration.
“Excuse me?” Matt sputters.
Sal, who’s sitting across from Matt, groans, making a disgusted look as he rolls his head back. “What the fuck do you want, Maya?”
“She is an amazing executive!” Maya shouts at Matt, leaning over his desk and ignoring Sal’s jibe. “She’s helped bring in over 200 million dollars. Directors and producers love her! Jesus Christ, even Griffin fuckin’ doted on her! Why didn’t you try to convince her to stay?”
“I did, she turned them down!” Matt shouts back, defending himself hopelessly as Maya looms over him. “I offered her more money than Paramount was offering, but she insisted it would be for the best. Said something about it being a personal issue. Why do you care?”
A personal issue. There it is.
Maya’s head drops as the room goes silent.
Sal looks at her before connecting the dots. “Seriously? She’s like twenty years younger than you!”
“Hire her back,” Maya demands, and looks Matt directly in the eye.
Matt sighs, “I can’t do that.”
“You can, and you will. You know why?” Maya’s voice lowers, and she looks almost amused at the prospects. “Because I’m pretty tight with Patty. And do you know what Patty has? A video of you doing lines of coke off of Ryan Reynolds’s stomach with a one hundred dollar bill at the Oscars after-after-party. And I might accidentally send that to…” Maya bobs her head in contemplation. “Let’s say…Insider? And then that video will spread. And you’ll be asked to resign. And then Sal will be promoted to president, and not to mention, Ryan Reyn–”
“Okay!” Matt cries. “Okay! I’ll hire her back!”
Maya looks back at Sal and then gives Matt a curt nod, standing up to her full height. “Good.”
Maya storms up to your old assistant, who sits at her desk eating lunch. “Let me see her itinerary,” she demands, looming over her.
“I can’t do that.”
“Open her schedule, now!” Maya shouts. “I need to know what time her flight leaves.”
Your assistant opens your schedule quickly and Maya shoves her aside. She scrolls down until she finds the itinerary. “Oh, wow, first class?” she mumbles. She reads over it more and then slams the mouse onto the table. “Fuck! That’s in three hours!”
As she runs out of the building, she frantically searches online for a flight to New York City. Eventually, as she gets into her car, she finds one last seat on the same flight as yours. She cringes as she buys the final $700 first class seat.
LAX is only half an hour away, but with the LA lunch rush, it takes Maya almost fifty. She zippers through traffic in her Black G63–something you always hated her doing. She’s yelling expletives, even honking her horn, and when she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she barely recognizes herself.
She’s never done something like this before–never canceled all of her meetings with some of the biggest directors in Hollywood, never driven an hour to the airport to chase down a girl. But at this point, there was no going back. If the contract is signed, she’d never see you again. You’d be lost to the East Coast, 2000 miles away, and working for those snobs at Paramount.
Maya parks crooked in the parking garage. Even in heels she’s running through the airport, and then comes security–undressing all of her layers and taking off her shoes that have way too many zippers to be practical. And she feels naked without her extensive amount of jewelry.
By the time she’s out, there’s less than an hour until boarding. Maya sprints through the airport, heeled boots draped over her arm and Louis Vuitton bag on her shoulder with her hat and jacket stuffed inside, overflowing over the sides.
Without stopping for a break, she finally sees you at the gate, standing there, arms crossed as you wait for the boarding announcement to be called. There’s less than ten minutes left until boarding. She calls your name. Your head doesn’t turn. But the second time, when you hear your name called by that familiar voice, you snap your head in her direction.
And there she is, face red and her forehead shiny with sweat.
“First class, huh?” She wears that stupid smirk she always does when she tries to tease you, but there’s something breaking.
Your jaw clenches, and you’re trying to keep your cold composure. “Paramount paid for the travel fees. What are you doing here?”
“Don’t go.”
“What?” Your shoulders drop. You see the knee-high boots draped over her arm, her jacket stuffed in her purse, wearing no jewelry and the fact that she’s here, at the gate, past security.“Wait, did you buy a plane ticket?”
“Yes,” she says. “Don’t go.”
“Maya–”
She huffs, “Listen, I’m not good at this. I never have been. Shit gets real and I…” Her hands rub over her face in frustration, but when they drop, she looks exhausted. “I don’t know what I do, but it isn’t good.”
“I’ve already turned in my resignation. I have a meeting with Paramount tomorrow morning,” you say, voice quiet.
Maya closes her eyes and takes a steadying breath, “Matt will hire you back. He’ll double your salary, more benefits, more creative input on projects, your own office. Please. Don’t go. They don’t–I don’t want you to leave.”
“Maya–”
“I love you,” she blurts out. “And I know you. And if you go to Paramount New York you’ll be miserable.”
“You love me?” you mumble.
Maya lets out an exasperated sigh. “Yes! Please, don’t go.”
There’s a boarding call for first class and you turn your head to look at the terminal. You swallow the emotion stuck in your throat and when you look back up at Maya, there’s only one thing you can do. You drop your bag onto the ground and wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her down and crashing your lips into hers.
“Don’t go,” she breathes. “Please.”
Your hands hold her face close. “I won’t,” you say, and kiss her again. “I love you.” You kiss her again. When you pull away her eyes are dark and you can see tears forming in her waterline. You take a deep breath, “I’m not going anywhere.”
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WHEN YOU WIPE THEIR KISS OFF - ENHYPEN
LEE HEESEUNG:
he circles your waist in his arms as he leans and plants a kiss on your cheek. You wipe that kiss of with the back of your hand and then continued to look at your phone trying not to break the act. Heeseung pauses for a second while slightly tilting his head with a frown. He then cautiously leans in and kisses you again on the same spot. You wipe it again with your hand. He stops leaning on your side and sits up straight with a serious expression.
"Baby?" He calls out for you as you hum in reply. He holds your head with both of his hands and makes you look at him.
"Why are you doing that" he asks as he leans closer to your face. "Doing what?" you ask innocently. "Don't do that" he says as he frowns more and kisses your cheek again while tilting your head.
As you lift your hand to wipe it off, he catches it and asks, "what happened?" he asks with a voice which makes your heart melt as you break the act and throw yourself on him. "I'm sorryy baby, I was just pranking you." He quickly catches you and falls back on the couch with you safely held by his arms, "You scared me baby". You lean back and look at him as he kisses you on your cheek, as he sees you don't wipe it off this time, he continues to kiss you on your face as you giggle.
PARK JONGSEONG
Click here for Jay's part ;)
SIM JAEHYUN
you were sitting on the couch comfortably with Jake laying his head on your chest, your legs tangled as you both were watching something on the TV. He looks up from your chest as you continued watching TV and slightly moves up, so he is closer to your face and kisses your jaw and returns back to your chest, laying. You wipe the kiss off. As soon as you did that, his head snaps up in your direction.
He turns, now his back no more against your body as he looks you with shot up eyebrows and widened eyes. He kisses you on the tip of your nose as you wipe it off again. He widens his eyes more- if that's even possible while you try your best to not break into laughter. He presses another kiss and seeing you wipe it off AGAIN he pouts.
His bottom lip jutting out fully, "why would you do that" He asks, his tone sad. Then he starts, he starts pestering you with questions back-to-back without giving time for you to even open your mouth. "Are you mad at me?" "What did I do?" "I'm sorry babyy" "Do you not love me anymore?" "Am I being too clingy?" "You still love me, right?"
Feeling frustrated and finding no other way to stop him- you kiss him. He stops shocked for a second but closes his eyes and kisses you back falling onto your chest again with ease.
PARK SUNGHOON
Sunghoon was laying on the bed scrolling through his phone, his arm around your neck- hand resting on your chest while you were reading. He suddenly pulls you closer by his arm which was circling your neck and kisses your cheek casually and goes back to scrolling.
You push your reading glasses up as you wipe that kiss off. His finger stops mid scrolling as he sees that and looks at you while you continue to read. "Baby, don't play with me" he says as he keeps his phone away. "What are you talking about?" You ask tilting your head.
He removes his hand from you while he takes the book from you and throws it softly on the side of bed as he hovers over you. Hands pressing on the mattress with you underneath him.
"You know what I'm talking about" he says as he stares at you. He then suddenly attacks you with kisses and tickles. You laugh trying to push him away "Sorry I'm sorry, it was a prank" you say in between your laughs and breathes.
KIM SUNOO
Sunoo blinks when you raise your hand to wipe his kiss off from your cheek. He gasps, "Did you just..." he trails off staring at you like you betrayed him- insulted him.
You raise your brow, "what?"
He scoffs loudly looking away murmuring "really?" and then looks at you again in the eye folding his hands, "Wow, seriously? should I just leave? Shall I start packing my bags?" You laugh at his dramatic nature, but he's not done. "Seriously? You wiped off MY kiss? MY precious kiss? Wahhh you don't want me anymore, do you?"
Before you can tell him it's a prank, he starts again, "No, no, I get it. I'll keep my precious kisses to myself; I won't give you anymore."
He leaves to sit on the edge of the bed huffing and muttering how "unbelievable" it was. You laugh as you walk to him, "I was just playing around baby, I want your precious kisses."
He rolls his eyes but gives in any way.
YANG JUNGWON
Jungwon leans in and gives you a goodbye kiss on your cheek and just as he's about to walk away, you wipe his kiss off. He sees it. He stops.
Turns a full 90 degrees so he's facing you. And looks into your eyes. "Baby, stop playing with me, I have to leave." He utters. You try not to smile,
"I'm not playing won?" He frowns and steps closer, "what did I do?" You match his frown saying, "nothing?" "No baby, tell me if I did something wrong"
He asks holding your hand and bringing it to his chest. "Nothing baby, you didn't do anything" you say putting your best act. (u should be getting an Oscar atp frfr)
"Then why did you do that?" He asks while caressing your hand with his thumb. You couldn't elongate it anymore, so you told him, "It was a prank baby. I'm sorry." A look of relief washes over his face as you confess that. He brings your hand up- kissing it, "You scared me, don't do that."
NISHIMURA RIKI
You went to his gaming room with a soda can in your hand for him as he requested. You bend and place the can on his desk as he is playing. He looks at the can and then moves a bit up and kisses your cheek muttering, "Thank you baby" You however don't look at him and wipe off his kiss. He frowns as he notices that.
He holds your wrist before you can leave and pulls you onto his lap. He thinks you are mad at him for playing with his homies, so he pauses the game and mutters an "I'm sorry baby. Are you mad at me?"
You act confused and deny it. He buries his head in your neck while one hand kneading your arm and the other wrapped around your wrist, "Then why did you wipe off my kiss?" You can't help but bring your hand to his hair, as you run your fingers through them, "It was a prank, I'm sorry love"
He hums as he moves his head deeper onto your neck, if that's even possible, "Don't do that again baby."
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©mrsjjongstby all writing belong to me. do not copy, modify or repost my works.
A/N: alrighttt, this is a bit out of my comfort zone, im testing out diff things, so if it feels off yk y hehehe anyways, i wanted to make a full on another part for jay, so dont mind me ;) this was a bit rushed but we'll seeee
#shishi'swork#enhypen#engene#enha imagines#enha fluff#enhypen jay#enha x reader#enhypen niki#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen heeseung#enhypen sunoo#enhypen scenarios#enhypen jungwon#enhypen jake#enhypen jongseong#enhypen jaeyun#enhypen jay park#enhypen smau#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen fluff#enha
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As someone who believes that the presence of queer ships are a sign of a healthy fan space, I feel it is especially important to see in Invincible fan spaces, especially in relation to queer ships involving viltrumite characters.
Because can be used in such a great way to address and discuss the anti-queer aspect of the Viltrum empire's ideology (I'm looking at you WillMark shippers; CecilNolan shippers, y'all are great, but I haven't seen enough).
As the show and comics have made clear, Viltrumite ideology views sexual relationships as a means to an end, only existing to create offspring, with romantic relationships being not only nonexistent but also viewed as a weakness.
As a result, this makes all Viltrumites, whether Kirkman intended or not, raised to believe that intercourse, the one of the last types of intimacy allowed in their culture, should only exist between individuals of a different sex.
After all, it makes sense in a twisted way. A same-sex relationship, in most instances, is not going to bare any offspring, removing the one level of validity any type of intimacy has to the Viltrum empire. Why would they want that?
They wouldn't. And that's queer relationships with Viltrumite characters is so important here. They grab that idea of intimacy only existing for the use of breeding and turn it on its head. They say "creation is not the purpose of intimacy and it never was" and directly confront how this control over intimacy is just that, a way of control.
Yes, we do get a look at how normal, healthy straight relationships can help Viltrumites (I am not opening that can of worms here), but they all still hold onto the Viltrum idea of intimacy being an act of heterosexuality only.
That is why I think queer ships are so important here not only as a way to help point out how yet another internal bias of Kirkman's has embedded itself in his writing but also because they help us look and explore the social impacts this fictional ideology has in universes on members of that society.
P.S: And this is why I think there should be at least one gay Viltrumite- *I am shot by an Amazon executive*
#invincible#invincible show#mark grayson#nolan grayson#invincible fanfic#please don't be mean to me about this like I will take criticism but be respectful please#I feel there is at least something true in my madness#mark grayson fanfic#does this makes sense#it is not me saying yay gay ship no straight ships#only that there is a lot to learn about how kirkmans internal biases impacted his works and what that says for the story he made#QPRS ARE A GREAT LOOK AT THIS TOO#willmark#mark x william#also inspired by an Anissa queer ask I sent it#shout out to my queer anissa truthers#i may get hate for this but lets go
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No. Not human beings. MAGAts.
See, a human being has morals and compassion and values and critical thinking. Or at least one of those things.
Perhaps the MAGAt had humanity once upon a time but that has been lost much like the humanity of a zombie once bitten. 🤷♀️
There is no humanity left to a creature so doped up on fascist propaganda that every single policy decision they support is filtered through a lens of figuring out what group it can hurt.
So yes! Treating them the way I do is a point of pride! Because it's the exact way that they treat others. And they are allowed to get away with it because we are too soft in our responses.
Trump calls immigrants animals on live television, and his people proudly support it. They have raised nearly a million dollars for a woman who called and autistic child the n-word. They love making marginalized communities feel less than human. They love hurting other people. Traumatizing other people! So why shouldn't we return the favor? Why shouldn't we make sure that they hurt the way they enjoy hurting others?
Maybe they will learn a valuable life lesson. Probably not. But I frankly don't care.
We keep trying to play nice. We keep trying to be the better people. We've been trying since the Civil War Reconstruction where all of the traitors were set free with barely any consequences for treason and slaughtering American citizens where other people would have been executed.
Here we are and the cancer has returned full force because we didn't actually remove it.
We keep repeating the same patterns over and over again! We keep trying to take the high road! We keep trying to compromise with evil! And it doesn't work! It never works!
Lincoln wasn't even going to abolish slavery! He just wanted to slowly poison it so that hopefully somewhere down the line it might be able to end someday.
And do you know why? Because the North still sympathized with the slave owners! They were still concerned about their "wealth" being taken away. It felt unfair to simply rob these business owners. They cared more about the humanity of the slave owners than the slaves.
This force of evil in America... This cancer... It tries to play on your sympathies. It tries to get you to feel compassion towards it. Because even though they feel no compassion for marginalized communities or all the people they hurt... They know that you do. You have compassion and morals. And this evil will try to exploit that if allowed.
You know... As a system, there have been plenty of times when we have questioned our sanity. Because sometimes it feels... Out there... Sharing a brain and body with others... It feels like maybe it's just delusion... And we find ourselves questioning everything... Luckily we are good at answering questions so we get through it...
But when it comes to this, I think we're the most sane people in the world. Because this spineless insistence that we should continue to treat our enemies with compassion and show them sympathy and treat them like humans when they have proven that they will never show us the same courtesy and will only exploit it as a weakness... That is actual insanity.
And I am not saying that compassion and sympathy are weaknesses themselves. Of course they aren't. Caring is what makes us human. But we need to be selective.
Wasting sympathy and compassion on creatures who will only take advantage of it is going to be the end of us. Taking them in good faith, humanizing them... That's how the enemy will win.
#syscourse#politics#political#democrats#liberals#liberal#liberalism#maga#trump#Donald Trump#United States#America#US politics#Americans#dnc#democracy#actually plural#actually a system#magats
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"I'LL DO IT FOR YOU, SWEETHEART"
I WROTE ANOTHER FIC WITH JAX
I hope you like it! 💚💛😊☝

You knew the California sons would be arriving in Ireland that day, which is why you worked hard to have everything ready for their arrival.
You were Clay's contact in Belfast, and when you told him Jax's son, Abel, was there, they didn't hesitate to hop on their Harleys and go find their grandson.
You peeked through the sliding metal door that separated the parking lot from the Irish sons' headquarters and saw several Harleys approaching your location.
You opened the door and stepped aside to let them pass.
Clay was the first to enter.
He nodded to you in thanks, and you nodded back in kind.
As soon as everyone was inside, you closed the door behind them and walked over.
Morrow was the first to greet you.
He gave you a huge hug, since it had been a while since you'd seen each other.
"Y/N," he smiled when you separated. "I'm glad to see you." He looked you up and down. "Look at you, last time I saw you, you came up to my knees."
"Yeah, and now he's a head taller than you," a blond man you didn't know added, joining the conversation.
You stared at him for a few moments, not knowing what else to say.
He looked at you curiously, too, before turning to Clay.
"Y/N, this is Jax, Abel's father," he introduced you. "This is Y/N, our contact."
"Hi."
"Hi," you replied politely. "I'm so sorry about your son," you murmured. "I'll help in any way I can."
"Thank you," he nodded, still staring at yours.
It was so strange… you'd never felt anything like it, the feeling of being hooked onto a person in such a way that you couldn't stop watching them.
Since he was looking at you too, you assumed the same was happening to him.
You cleared your throat to break the tension and looked at Clay.
"Let the guys rest for today, let them have some fun." You placed a hand on his shoulders. "Do you want a beer?"
"If I said I didn't, I'd be lying," he smiled. You nodded.
"I'll get the kegs," you said, glancing at Jax. "Could you give me a hand?"
"Sure," he smiled as he followed you.
You led him to the supply shed where you kept the enormous beer kegs, and the two of you carried them to the middle of the parking lot, where friendly fights had already begun to entertain the crowd.
You handed out glasses to everyone, and everyone began to pour beer from the kegs you had brought.
You grabbed one for yourself and, after sipping a little, sat down at one of the tables to watch the fight unfolding before you.
According to what you'd heard, this guy, one of Ireland's sons, had defeated four people in the last ten minutes without so much as a scratch.
He raised his hands in victory as he knocked the other guy down, sending the crowd into a frenzy.
"Who's next?" he asked, a defiant sneer on his face.
"Me," said a voice you already knew.
You turned to Jax, who began to remove his jacket and shirt.
He tied his hair back in a simple bun behind his head.
You weren't prepared for that sight, and you nearly choked on your beer as you stared at his flat stomach and defined abs for longer than you'd ever admit.
As if he'd sensed your gaze, he walked over to you, holding a coil of white rope in his hands, standing in front of you.
You noticed he had his son's name tattooed on his chest, next to his heart.
"Want a hand?" he asked, mimicking your question from before.
You swallowed hard and nodded before taking the roll he offered you.
"Sure," you nodded, beginning to bandage his knuckles. "That guy has a very inflated ego, he always has," you snorted. "So if you beat him up, even for fun, I'd really appreciate it."
"I'll do it for you, sweetheart" he smiled as you continued bandaging him
#byvoice#writters on tumblr#writterscommunity#my fic writing#jax teller x reader#jax teller x you#jax teller x y/n#sons of anarchy#charlie hunnam
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Chapter Fourteen: “I Have A Secret”
I was still in a bit of a shock after my meet with the Smurfs, and I realized that at least one of them knows my secret. I have to tell it now. But who would I tell first? They’ll all find out anyway, I thought, they might as well find out at once.
But I decided that I wanted to tell the one I trusted most first, before I said anything to the others. So I look to Miss Grace and tell her I want to talk to her in private.
We walked to my corridors. “Is something the matter, Ariel?” she asked me, “Is this about those little dreams you had this last week?”
I tried to word my response so it didn't start our conversation on entirely the wrong topic. “Well, yes, and no,” I started off, “but more ‘no’ than ‘yes’.” I sat at the dresser and look in the mirror, “Have you ever had something that you thought it crucial to your survival to keep hidden?”
Grace didn't seem to understand. “Not really. Ariel, are you alright, dear?”
“Miss Grace, I have a secret.” I replied, brushing the hair away from my face. “It is a secret that I have kept for my whole life, one that, I think, it’s time to reveal.”
I stood up, and turned around as I removed my black cloak revealing a green dress and my blue patches and eye.
Miss Grace was obviously taken aback. “Ariel…” she gasped, “How long did you say you kept this hidden?”
“I am one hundred and ninety years old, due next Thursday,” I said as I covered myself back up. “I told you first because you won my trust from the start; I sensed something in you that made me feel safe here. I stayed because I had gotten tired of my secluded life; hiding away was becoming difficult, as well.”
“What are you?” was all Miss Grace could manage to say.
“I was hoping you could tell me,” I said as I rolled my left sleeve up and showed her the most distinct patch, a blue, four-fingered hand on my palm. It was aligned with the gaps between my five fingers.
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Chapter Fifteen: “She Showed Me Her Secret, Patrick.���
Grace left Ariel’s room with a confused and slightly frightened expression on her face. When she got to the kitchen, she told her husband that they needed to talk.
“What is it, honey?” Patrick asked her.
Grace pulled him headfirst to their bedroom, leaving the Smurfs looking bewildered.
“OK, OK,” Patrick said, grabbing Grace’s other arm and stopping her in her tracks. “We’re alone, now. What’s going on, here that I don’t already know?”
“It’s Ariel!” Grace exclaimed.
“What about Ariel, Grace? You’re not making any sense,” her loving husband told her.
Grace sat down on the bed, wide-eyed and staring blankly at the door at the other end of the room. “She showed me her secret, Patrick.” Her voice cracked, “She’s going to show us all.”
“Secret? Grace, what are you talking about?” Patrick was becoming panicked.
“I can’t tell you,” she said, trying to keep her composure. “But it's got something to do with spots.”
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Chapter Sixteen: The Patches Were Real
Brainy Smurf was frightened about the possible reasons why Grace, Ariel, and Patrick went into different rooms almost at once.
“Papa,” he heard Clumsy whisper “is Brainy alright? He kind of acts even stranger than he’s been when Ariel’s around.”
“I know,” Papa replied. “He seems to know something that we don't.”
Brainy turned to face them, “At least I think I know,” he sighed, bowing his head. The other Smurfs gasped and turned to face him.
“Brainy,” Papa said carefully, “are you really sure about this?”
Brainy took a deep breath, and told the others that he had a dream about her. “I think the same thing happened to her.”
The others asked Brainy to describe the dream, but they were interrupted when Grace, Patrick, and Ariel walked in the room.
“Everyone,” Ariel said from under the deep, black hood over her head. “I have something to tell you.”
Ariel stood with her arms raised, and the Smurfs watched as Grace helped her remove the cloak. Then, Grace walked back out of the way, revealing a blue blotched Ariel. The spots were on her left side. she pulled back her hair and uncovered her face, the entire left half of it was the same color as a Smurf, and her eye was also the same bright aqua color as theirs were, too.
The other Smurfs gasped, but Brainy began to hyperventilate, the patches were real. He was terrified his nightmares were getting more and more realistic by the second.
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Chapter Seventeen: “No, It’s All Too True....”
Papa was struck with utter shock. Something was going on and he didn't understand it. He went to the rooftop, as he had done the night before, but this time, he wasn't only joined by Patrick. Grace came along, as well.
“This has to be some kind of a joke,” Patrick said as he paced back and forth by the stairwell. “I mean, blue patches? It's gotta be some kind of body paint,” he laughed nervously, “right?”
Papa was too preoccupied in his own thoughts to respond. Does this have something to do with Mersandra’s disappearance almost two centuries ago? He pondered.
Grace’s voice startled him out of his train of thought. “I don’t know, Patrick. Papa, you know most about this kind of thing, right? What do you think? Is this, like, some kind of prank?”
Papa heaved a sigh, “No, it’s all too true; there is a legend of such a thing in the village.”
Patrick and Grace were intrigued, they had to hear. So Papa agreed to tell them.
“It all started one-hundred and eighty-nine years ago,” He began, “she was meant to be the first girl in Smurf Village.” A tear rolled down his cheek, but he continued. “The Fairy Queen, Mersandra, owned the Stork that was supposed to bring the child. But he… took her to what was then called the Blue Moon Springs, and threw her into the portal.” Papa choked back more tears. “Then, I blocked off the path with signs the very next morning. That’s also when Mersandra disappeared.”
The Legend of the Lost Smurfette (a.k.a. How the Forbidden Falls Were Renamed)
Once upon a time, Papa Smurf was waiting for an important delivery....
This was no ordinary package, mind you. This was a package from the Fairy Queen Mersandra’s Great Stork.
The Great Stork delivers all of the children of magic creatures to their rightful parents.
As everyone knows, no Smurf brought by Mersandra’s Stork is ever a girl, simply because there was no visible need for women in the village. This child.... she was different.
There was a knock at Papa’s door, one stroke till midnight. When Papa answered it, Mersandra herself walked in. She said that her stork had refused to make the delivery, and took the girl far away, instead.
Mersandra wasn’t able to find him on her own and retrieve the child, so she came to seek his help. Papa immediately got out of his nightclothes and began the search.
They finally did find the stork, but they were too late. The child had already been thrown through the magic portal in the falls of the Blue Moon Springs.
Papa and Mersandra scolded the stork severely and sent him home.
Early the next morning, Papa put up signs on the path leading to the spring, renaming it the Forbidden Falls so that he wouldn’t see his other smurfs face the same fate as his Lost Smurfette, Ariel.
The Part They Don’t Know...
As Papa Smurf left the Blue Moon Springs, Mersandra secretly slipped through the portal to look for Ariel. When she found the child, however, the vortex had already vanished, so she cast a special spell on the girl to turn her human... with some exceptions. For she knew that Papa Smurf would eventually find the world that was on the other side of that waterfall.
She raised Ariel as her own until she was one-hundred and forty. When she left, she used a disguise and watched her as she grew up.
#smurf fanfiction#my old fic#fanfic#the smurfs#Smurfs Legend of the Lost Smurfette#my fanfiction#old fanfic#Ariel the Lost Smurfette#not tiuaiva
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I know antis like throwing the term logical fallacy around, but as someone who had to take a philosophy class, antis would have an aneurysm in that class.
One time we had a discussion about incest. The professor asked us why it was wrong. When we responded it was because of inbreeding and that a child would be hurt, he asked us "what if the couple couldn't have kids?". That was how the class went. We'd come up with a reason and he'd ask us to think about if that context was removed and whether or not we'd still react the same without that context.
He wanted to teach us to think about why things are right or and wrong and what effect context would have on our morals and perceptions. Because things aren't wrong because they're wrong, and we're not born knowing right from wrong even if we do have enough empathy to not want to hurt someone.
I think classes like this are useful for teaching critical thinking skills, but from what I've seen of antis, they'd probably freak out over someone talking about bad things in even the slightest positive light...
#proshipper#proshipper safe#proshippers are welcome#proshipping#proship#imo antis think wrong things are wrong because they're wrong and therefore are always wrong#and wrong things have always been wrong and will always be wrong#even though morals also sometimes change with the times#I've also sometimes seen other proshippers think similarly#they think it's always wrong in real life which imo#saying it's okay in fiction but should never be enabled in reality is still a slightly potentially harmful oversimplification#ask “why?” more often#“why do i dislike this?”#“why is this wrong?”#and think about context#if you remove the whys do you still feel the same way?
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🦷.
#👀 I have a confession yall#I can’t believe I did it omg#I started having problems with my upper wisdom teeth end of last year and ….#well I didn’t have insurance with my last job and even though this job supposedly would give us benifits the Dr said it’s shared so I still#have to pay… and yeah no thanks I need the money 😭#long story short I took my wisdom tooth y’all…#I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS#obviously do not try at home yall#I had x rays of my teeth know the shape and studied the way Dr extracts the same teeth when I assist#and maybe I shouldn’t be admitting this ever#but I got that sucker out and now my right ear isn’t clicking and I can slowly feel the pressure digress#I feel insane for doing it but also happy :)#it didn’t break but yall I thought it was going to 😭#idk why I did this the day before work when I had a whole week off lmaoo….#obviously I’m not in the best mental state rn cause who in their right mind what do this aha…..#give me my dental license I’m ready#jk that shit was terrifying I had the inject the numbing and was fumbling hard omg#kinda proud of myself for saving hundreds of dollars for a wisdom tooth extraction#also kinda shook at myself cause why didn’t I just get them removed when they first came in smh#anyways….. I only did one… maybe one day I’ll do the other 👀😅🦷#need to try sleeping now even though I’m supposed to be biting on this gauze#kinda making my mildly want to gag cause it’s so far back but oh well#if you see this pls don’t be like me#pls go see a dentist 🥹🤍
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‘
#i’m just gonna say something that i’ve been thinking for a while (even before season 7) into the void#but b*ddie (in canon) is soooo fucking boring now lmao#because their relationship hasn’t progressed whatsoever in years!#i’m talking strictly from a shipping perspective because their friendship is great!#their last actual interesting/compelling moment was the will scene lol#maybeeee eddie’s breakdown scene in s5 but even that moment fell a flat for me (why were they so afraid to touch each other in s5/6 lmao)#the coming out scene was great but that was a veryyyy platonic scene so i feel like that doesn’t count#season 6 started to turn me off on them and season 7 sort of finished the job#there’s still a lot of fun things you can do with them in fanon (that doesn’t involve tommy bashing 🙄)#but in canon? 😴#maybe that’s why so many b*ddie’s are so far removed from canon#because genuinely what in canon can they really talk about atp lol#also probably why they’ve been obsessing over tommy all hiatus 🤭#i used to compare b*ddie and steroline mainly because they were the same flavor of slow burn but not really a will they won’t they in the+#traditional sense#because they weren’t constantly teasing a romance until fairly late in the game (s6 for steroline)#but the thing with steroline is that their relationship was always progressing!#you can see the clear differences in what their relationship looked like in s1 vs. s2 vs. s4 vs. s5 vs. s6 and beyond#and that was true for b*ddie but then it stalled after s4#and ykw#if they intend to keep the relationship platonic that makes sense!#but it doesn’t make it very fun/interesting for shipping (in canon)#but maybe it’s not fair to compare them to the best slow burn to ever slow burn (i said what i said!!)#there was a point where i was confident at one point that if b*ddie went canon that it would be my favorite ship ever and surpass steroline#but they’ve stalled out too long now and missed their opportunity to do something#i realize it’s not really their fault but still#anyway#this went on way longer than i intended#but i will always have steroline brain worms and will never not want to talk about them lmao#ignore me
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Thinking about Husband!Sukuna who just lets you do whatever the fuck you want now.
There was a time when he protested. A time when he had pride, pride in being a man, in being a fearsome king, commanding respect wherever he went.
But you?
You were relentless. So utterly, absurdly relentless that at some point, he just stopped fighting it.
He had never been a man of many words, and marriage hadn’t changed that. It was only a week ago that he sat comfortably on his throne, heavy head resting in his palm as he drifted off to sleep, until he was interrupted by the sudden weight (or loss?) on his chest.
A lesser man would have panicked, but your husband? No. He merely took a long inhale, an even longer exhale, and cracked one eye open to find your tiny, mischievous hands cupping his pecs like a scientist.
“They don’t really move like mine,” you mused, experimentally bouncing the firm muscle in your grasp.
He didn’t know if the subject of this experiment was his breaking point or whatever nonsense idea had wormed its way into your head this time.
Your expression was serious, too serious, as you moved in front of him, gripping the hem of his robe as if a scholar prepped for a dissertation.
“May I remove this?”
His eyes, half-lidded with the dull exhaustion that only centuries of being a king could bring, slowly trailed to meet yours. His lips pressed into a flat line.
You took his silence as consent.
And soon enough, his shirt was discarded, leaving him bare from the waist up as you squinted in intense concentration, leaning in close to his chest.
It was pathetic, really. The size difference. Your husband was a mountain of a man, yes, his frame large enough to dwarf yours entirely. And yet, there you were, fingers struggling to span across his tits as you earnestly attempted to jiggle them, as if you could replicate your own softness on his ironclad frame.
At one point, you had both of his pecs squished together, testing them like some critical judge at a livestock competition.
“Wow, you’re a lot different than me.”
Oh, his lovely wife. His lovely wife, who was genuinely comparing her milk-producing breasts to those of a war-hardened king.
Oh, the patience he had for you.
And despite the sheer disrespect you continually brought upon the honor of Sukuna, the King, the Conqueror, the Lord of Curses…
He still let you.
And it never stopped.
Because right now, right this very moment, he was balls-deep inside you, your knees pinned to your chest as he fucked you senseless, guttural moans echoing in the grand chamber as he pounded into your dripping cunt.
The nights the lord would bed his wife was always the same, multiple orgasms, a sore throat, bruises painting your skin like a lover’s signature, and the brutal satisfaction of a man who knew he could ruin you.
There couldn’t have been a worse time, a worse thought, and for the first time in his life, Sukuna wished, prayed, for something to be different about his wife.
“W-wait, ‘Kuna- fuck- wait-!”
Because he never wanted you in pain, never wanted you to feel anything but pleasure despite the sixth climax of the night barreling toward him, he reluctantly halted.
Oh, may the lords above grant him the strength.
Because you, thoroughly fucked out, hair knotted, sweat glistening across your body, brought your trembling hands forward,
and groped his fucking tits.
Like he was some toy for you to hold onto.
“Okay, continue.”
He stilled. In shock? In horror? In spiritual agony?
Slowly, he tried to thwart at your hands, momentarily lifting one from under your knee, but-
“No, I said continue.”
That’s right. Your wish was his command.
So he continued. And every time his cock rammed deep into your walls, every time you moaned so sinfully, your little hands squeezed tighter.
It was almost comical, your soft, delicate fingers clutching at his immovable chest as if this was your god-given right.
With a grunt, he muttered, “Why must you do this?” His brows furrowed, thrusts becoming punishing.
Through your breathless whimpers, you somehow managed, “Ngh- I just- oh, god- like them.”
His cock twitched at your honesty.
His breasts flexing in tandem.
And when your shaking fingers dared to pinch his nipple…
Oh, that was when the real fun began.
“Fuck, don’t- fuck-” He spat through gritted teeth.
Neither of you could ignore the way his back arched the tiniest bit, the way his thrusts faltered for a split second as your fingers toyed with him.
You were too far gone to form coherent sentences, let alone fucking laugh, but your lips curled in amusement, jaw slack as the wet pat-pat-pat of his cock slamming into you filled the air.
“You think this shit is funny?”
His hold on you shifted. With inhuman ease, he lifted your legs, pressing them together straight up in the air, holding your feet in a single massive hand while his other gripped your thigh in a vice.
The new position devastating.
His thick cock dragged along every sensitive spot inside you, punching deep into your cunt, the head kissing your cervix with every pump.
It was enough to wreck you, your body shuddering as your next orgasm tore through you like divine wrath.
And Sukuna, normally composed and always in control, was panting.
As you both lay side by side afterward, spent and breathless, a singular, intrusive thought carved its way into your little head.
“...Can I be big spoon tonight?”
He didn’t respond, simply sighing and rolling onto his side. Letting you attempt to wrap your arms around his impossibly broad back.
Oh, his lovely, sweet wife.
Your hand reached down, fingers splaying, grabbing a handful of his ass.
A slow, agonizing inhale.
Then a measured, exasperated exhale.
“...No more tonight. Please.”
You couldn’t see his face, your own buried between his shoulder blades.
But maybe, juuust maybe, someone, somewhere, could say there was the barest twitch of a smile on his lips.
#jjk fic#jjk fanfic#jjk fanfiction#jjk hc#jjk hcs#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen fic#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#jujutsu kaisen hc#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jjk x reader#jjk x reader smut#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x fem reader#jjk x fem! reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x fem!reader#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk sukuna#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x female reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#sukuna x reader#sukuna x female reader#sukuna x reader smut
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011925. cw | slightly suggestive (?) i hate him (affectionate)
if tsukishima kei learns the full extent of you losing your mind over the minuscule of things with everything he does,
babe, you’re done for.
if he learns that removing his glasses while kissing you makes your stomach do saumersaults, or when he fixes your clothes casually; smoothing down your skirt or adjusting your shirt, hand on your waist. or when he cups your face and squeezes both of your cheeks together, when it shows that he loves the physical touch in ways that feel crude if you say it aloud. in ways that no one else can speak about, makes you so mushy with him. to the point that it makes you sick, head throbbing.
if he learns that you find his jealousy kind of attractive, all cutting and ruthless, snappy. that you're totally not weak in the knees. if he learns that whenever he leans in whenever you speak is the cause of why you feel flustered, when he hums softly in question, tilting his head, or when he just hook you in his arms to get closer.
god. he will take absolute pleasure in pushing those buttons even more—actually, he’d press them with the precision of someone who knows exactly how far he can go to leave you reeling, all while pretending it’s no big deal.
and this is exactly what happens, as expected, but no less frustrated.
when he realizes how much removing his glasses during a kiss messes you up, he’d start doing it slow and methodical, taking his time to set them aside while giving you that piercing look, like he knows exactly what’s coming next. “what, nervous?” he’d ask, leaning in just a fraction, his tone laced with mockery, but his lips soft when they finally meet yours.
those casual touches? forget it. his hands—though he would ask first—roam your body and let them linger around your waist dangerously longer than necessary, you're not making it up now, you know you feel the slight squeezes his does on your skin, letting his fingers graze, just enough to send shivers down your spine.
when he holds your face in one hand, there’s something about how his thumb lingers near your jawline or how he leans in just a little too close. it’s playful, sure, but there’s a tenderness beneath it that leaves you spinning. because he knows. he knows all too well.
it's game over when he finally does this—one arm braced above your head, his whole figure towering over you, casting a shadow which makes him look ten times more insufferable. you cannot breathe.
his lips hover just shy of yours, so close you can feel the warmth of his breath. “do i really make you that nervous?”
"fuck off."
"really? that’s all you’ve got? how original.”
“kei, i swear to—” you start, but the words catch in your throat as his thumb brushes the curve of your jaw, the touch barely there but devastating all the same.
“what? gonna tell me to stop?” the glint in his eyes turns playful, pupils dilated, “you’re all talk, aren’t you?”
your hands twitch at your sides, torn between shoving him away and pulling him closer. “i hate you,” you hiss, but it lacks any real bite.
“sure you do,” he says, his tone dripping with mockery, and then—because of course he does—he closes the infinitesimal gap between you, his lips brushing against yours with infuriating slowness.
he kisses you chastely. it feels so wrong with how he already built so much tension. that this all just a stupid game he can easily control.
there’s a distinct edge of smugness to it, like he’s savoring every second of your undoing. when he pulls back just slightly, his forehead resting against yours, the smirk is still there, lingering at the corners of his mouth.
“still want me to fuck off?” he asks, though he already knows the answer to it.
you can only scoff and roughly smack your lips against his in a solid, and very straightforward reply. your heart pounding so loudly it drowns out everything else.
he relents to you just as easily, this is why he simply can't get enough of you.
my stupid writers block is not making me write properly for the hershey’s kisses mini series so i had to pull this stupid drabble outta my sick ass (coughing loudly as we speak)
#[✦]. solvia’s#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei x reader#tsukishima kei#tsukishima kei x you#haikyuu#haikyuu tsukishima#haikyuu tsukki#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#hq!! x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu drabbles
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good heart

synopsis: zayne wonders if he’s mean. you reassure him otherwise.
tags: fluff. comfort. zayne is self-conscious and cute pairing: zayne x reader word count: 641
a/n: surprise (not rly) first zayne fic :] it’ll be interesting seeing how i want to write him since i’m probably the most similar to him irl #neurodivergence. also posting the most depraved and fluffiest things i’ve ever written in the same week who said versatility
“Darling, have I ever been…mean to you?” Zayne asks hesitantly.
You’re cuddled on his sofa with your knees resting against him, halfheartedly watching a nature documentary. Brilliant rays of afternoon sunlight pour in through the floor-length windows, drawing most of your attention away from the grasslands and toward the trio of squirrels leaping over leaves in Zayne’s backyard. At his question, you raise your head from its place on his shoulder, squinting at him playfully.
“Hmm,” you draw out, as if actually taking the time to consider his question. He blinks at you. “Nope! A little impassive, sometimes, sure,” you grin, poking his adorably neutral face. “But never mean.”
He forces out a weak smile at your teasing, gently lowering his gaze to your intertwined hands.
When you don’t receive the usual politely packaged retort, you furrow your brows in worry. “Why do you ask? What’s wrong?”
Still fixated on your interlaced fingers, Zayne clears his throat. “At the hospital today,” he starts, “one of the younger patients said I was…mean.” He bites the word out as if it tastes bad, the mere association of it with his character destabilizing his being.
Perplexed, you unclasp your hand from his to lift his chin. “What happened?”
“All I did was tell her that if she wants to feel better, she’ll need to take her medicine daily.” Now it’s your turn to blink at him. “Perhaps it was the tone I used, I’m not sure. I haven’t encountered this before.”
Deep in thought, he moves to bow his head again, unconsciously avoiding your gaze out of unwarranted guilt. With a frown, you grab his face between your hands before that can happen, climbing over his lap to straddle him.
“The Zayne I know is worried that doing his job makes him mean?” you ask, peering into his startled hazel eyes. “C’mon, Zaynie, she was probably just being stubborn. You of all people should know what it’s like to avoid taking medicine.” Lifting his top lip as if to inspect his teeth, you drive your point home when he flinches away. As his face flushes pink, you feel his cheeks warm under your hands.
“I’m aware that children…and adults…are hesitant to follow doctor’s orders at times,” he says, clearing his throat. “But I also know I'm not the most…expressive of people. I’ve gotten so used to behaving freely when I’m with you that I wasn’t monitoring my mannerisms in the pediatric ward today. I must have appeared quite intimidating to a vulnerable child. The thought made me uncomfortable. It made me wonder if…I’d ever made you feel that way as well,” he grimaces.
With a fond sigh, you tilt his face up to yours to kiss his nose. This time, his blink is slow and confused.
“The only one you're being mean to is yourself,” you start, pinching his cheeks lightly. “No matter what’s on your face or in your voice, I know what’s in here,” you say, placing a firm palm over his chest. “You wouldn’t be Dr. Zayne without your directness. You wouldn’t be my Zaynie, either. And I happen to like both versions of him very much.”
As you press another kiss to his nose, the corners of his full lips quirk up. “I suppose I should be nicer to him, then.”
“You’d better. Or else he’ll have to write ‘I am nice. I am kind. I have a good heart’ over and over again until he understands. Surgeons don’t have time for that.”
“I'm sure I possess the cardiovascular fitness to work it into my schedule,” he quips. “I have a good heart, after all.”
As the joke lands, you give him an exaggerated wince, removing a hand from his smiling face to fake a retch. “Okay, maybe I was wrong. Subjecting me to that? That was a little mean.”
#iris writes#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace zayne#zayne x reader#love and deepspace fluff#love and deepspace comfort#zayne fluff#zayne comfort#lads#lads x reader#lads zayne#lnds#lads fluff#lads comfort#zayne li
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01/08/25; 05:11pm
{ 18+ drabbles / headcanons }
[ when they allow you to spoil them in bed instead ]
featuring: sylus, zayne, xavier, rafayel, + bonus
notes: these are very much thirsty, bite-sized thoughts, hence why i added a bonus boy at the end (⺣◡⺣)♡
major edit as of 01/10/25 at around 11:00am -> removed the term “pillow princes” from the main title.
warnings: unedited; somnophilia for xavier's
[ minors don’t interact; by choosing to interact with this content, you have consented to viewing something n-fw despite the warnings. ]

it felt like you were squeezing his cock the moment you made your steady descent down on him, taking him in inch by breathtaking inch before stopping completely once he was sheathed deep inside of you. your breathy moans were nothing short of sweet music to his ears when sylus felt you plant your hands on his chest before setting a pace.
your thrusts were uneven, and it was clear that you were struggling a bit when it came to riding him. although a smug expression was seen on his face, it takes sylus a herculean effort to simply lay back in bed with his head pressed against on the plush pillow. every part of his body was screaming at him to simply grip at your hips and turn you on your knees for him-
but alas, he was a good lover who wanted to follow your own wishes of spoiling him on the date of your anniversary. even if it takes you several seconds to set a decent pace, the onychinus leader was left gasping the moment you began to bounce yourself up and down his cock. the sounds of your slick walls stroking his dick echoes throughout the room, the pleasure erupting across sylus's veins consuming him.
with your hardened clit felt rubbing against his shaft, you suddenly toss your head back at the hedonistic friction, making sylus feel the way your walls gripped him tightly as your arousal stains at his cock. sylus was dimly aware of his broken grunts that echo throughout the room, his large hands clawing at the sheets below him when you continue riding him. showing no signs of stopping anytime soon (even after your first climax) sylus felt his breathing hitch the moment you lean over him, pressing a hot kiss against his naked chest while bouncing on him-
and sylus was certain that he wouldn't survive the night.

zayne lost all sense of coherency the moment he felt your tongue wrapped around the hardened bud on his chest coupled along with the sensation of your gentle hands stroking his cock.
his once neatly made bed was in disarray now the moment you pushed his body against his plush mattress. your name escapes from his parted lips a few times, yet they fall on deaf ears as you were solely focused on his pleasure alone.
the doctor shivers when he feels your tongue licking up a stripe against his chest all while whispering against his skin, "you're always taking care of me, so it's time that i do the same for you."
"honey, you really don't have to-" but his protests immediately turn into sharp gasps when he feels the pad of your thumb collect the drops of his pre-cum that escapes from the tip of his cock. his breathing becomes labored, feeling a blush dye his cheeks a rosier hue when you slowly release his hardened cock from your hands.
a wave of relief courses through him from being freed, yet it was short lived when you pry his legs apart, settling yourself between his thighs while licking your lips at the sight of his erection. "you won't mind if i get a little taste, right doctor?"

xavier had woken up the moment he felt your hands gripping at the waistband of his sweats from beneath the comforter, yet he continues to feign sleep while allowing you to do as you pleased with him.
once his sweatpants were off, xavier had to grip at his comforter to keep his cock from going hard upon feeling your breath against his boxers. while you were focused on slowly removing the thin fabric, xavier had to bite down on his bottom lip to stop himself from letting out a groan.
with his eyes still closed, he feels the way his boxers pool against his ankle before falling off of him completely. waiting with bated breath for your next move, xavier could no longer fake being asleep as the sensation of your hot mouth surrounding his aching cock fills him.
panting, he opens both of his eyes, his gaze going hazy when he saw the outline of your head settled directly over him from beneath the blankets. his cock hardens even further when your hands were felt stroking whatever part of him you couldn't fit in your mouth, making xavier's back arch against the bed.
something about you doing sinful things to his body while hidden beneath the covers was a major turn-on for xavier, and as your mouth and hands continues to stroke his cock, the philos prince allows you to remind him of what heaven was like.

rafayel was laying back in bed, (just as naked as you were) with a smug expression on his face. "you think you can take care of me, princess? that you know enough to completely satisfy me? then by all means, go ahead, babe." his cocky voice echoes throughout the room-
and you were determined to wipe that smirk off his face.
deciding to give him a show, you lick your lips and tell him, "you just lay back in bed, rafe... and watch the show without touching yourself."
after hearing your words, you saw what looked like a flash of anxiety go across his eyes (eyes that appeared to house the galaxies themselves) along with a tiny gulp. he purses his hips while meeting your gaze, the anxious expression gone within a mere few seconds as he gives you a come hither motion with his hands, "bring it on, baby."
you let out a breathy giggle before getting to work. using both of your hands, you cup at your heaving breasts, pinching and prodding at your nipples while letting out out moans of his name. "fuck, you feel so good, rafe... keep touching me, just like that."
you hear the way his breathing hitches in response, feeling a grin spread across your lips before allowing a hand to travel down towards the spot between your legs. as you spread them open, you dip a finger into your aching cunt, tracing at your outer lips while collecting the honeyed sweetness of your arousal.
yet your show was short lived when rafayel was heard whining to you.
"ngh- fuck, princess." you open your eyes just then, continuing to finger yourself when you saw rafayel clawing at the sheets below him. his erection stood proudly for you, yet still, he heeds your commands, not once stroking it. "you have to come here, you have to get on this dick- fuck, i need you badly baby, i need you so much."
his words succeed in making your hands stutter a bit, now feeling your pussy ache with the need for rafayel to fill you. "w-what's the magic words, rafe?"
"please!"
and with those magic words said, you climb onto the bed, joining rafayel while accepting his kiss when he leans forward. with your lips still locked with his, you slowly began sinking down on his cock-
ensuring you'll give him a night that he'll never forget.

caleb lets out a string of curses when he felt your innocent massages turn into something more... daring. with your hands squeezing the area near his inner thighs, it was clear that you had more impure intentions as his cock began steadily began to harden in response.
in fact, he didn't even know why he allowed you to spread this rose scented oil all over him-
all he knew was that your caresses felt too good against his skin. here he was, laid bare for you on the bed as you continue to massage the supposed 'kinks and knots' out of his body. admittedly, it felt amazing, being spoiled like this-
but his mind kept giving him images of your naked body glistening with the same type of oil, his cock buried to the hilt deep inside of your cunt as he fucked you into the bed.
moments later, your giggles were heard echoing throughout the room, succeeding in breaking the young pilot out of his reveries. with his hazy, violet eyes meeting your gaze, you ask (in a seductive whisper) "would you like a happy ending?"
your question makes caleb's brain short circuit, his cock twitching with anticipation as words failed him. praying that you could see the yearning and absolute need within his gaze, caleb watches your every movement. letting out a sigh of his name, you lift up your skirt and step out of your panties before rejoining him on the bed.
"keep still for me, okay? i'm going to massage your cock so well that you'll be left drooling for me, caleb." with those words serving as a promise, you gently grip at his cock before sinking down on him, earning a loud moan from him as he arches his back against the bed.
and when caleb could feel your slick walls surrounding him oh so sweetly-
he knew he was a goner.
end notes: i felt a little sick with a cold and wrote this to feel better ;-; hope you readers enjoyed it ♡
all stories are written by rei; please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works!!
major edit as of 01/10/25 at around 11:00am -> removed the term "pillow princes" from the main title.
#sylus smut#zayne smut#xavier smut#rafayel smut#caleb smut#sylus x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#caleb x reader#zayne x you#sylus x you#xavier x you#rafayel x you#caleb x you#lnds smut#lads smut#l&ds smut#love and deepspace#writings 📖
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bimbo!reader x rafe cameron
summary: rafe's fresh out of jail, and needs to find a girl to convince ward he's been with her, not locked up for the week
cw .ᐟ hints at nsfw, kidnapping
꒰ notes ꒱ based on the film buffalo '66 (1998)
pulling your little pink duffle up over your shoulder, pink tights and sheer skirt still pristine even after the hour of dance class. waving goodbye to your friends before walking down the opposite hallway. god, how you wished you’d just followed them.
“don’t fuckin’ scream.”
you would if his calloused hand wasn't gripping your cheeks so tight, muffled whimpers were all that fell through the gaps. the strangers hands grabbing and groping at your body, pulling your back flush against his chest. walking backwards out the dance studio, with you in his grip.
eyes already welling up, feet kicking as he drags you out the back door. your lipstick smudging underneath his hand, fingers surely bruising your jaw with his tight grip.
“gonna move my hand, and y’gonna be fuckin’ quiet, ‘kay?” the stranger mumbles into your ear, lips ghosting over your skin.
body slammed up against the car, meeting the face of him. pretty eyes widened as you reluctantly nod your head. he starts to slowly remove his hand from your mouth and—
“help! help me! please, help—“
his hand clamps back down over your mouth, slamming your body back against the car with force. “the fuck did i just say?”
he fumbles with the keys in his pocket, before opening the back door and pushing your body inside. locking you in immediately, he wasn’t taking any chances.
mutters of complaint under his breath as he walks around to the drivers side, sliding into his seat as his eyes lock on you through the rear view mirror.
“don’t make me hurt you, no one can hear you from inside the car, so keep that pretty mouth shut.”
rafe was fresh out of jail, finally had to pay for one of his crimes. not that he was in there long, one visit from his lawyer and he was out the place. made the fucker swear ward was to hear nothing of this. rafe was meant to be proving he could step up, be the man he was meant to be.
which is how he found himself with some pretty airhead in the back seat. he’d told ward a little white lie, to avoid the whole jail situation. told his dad he was away with his girlfriend. what girlfriend he asked. yeah, good fuckin’ question.
that’s where you come in.
“look, all you gotta do is this one thing for me and i’ll let you go,” rafe mumbles, eyes darting between the road and the mirror as he drives. aw, you’re still trying to unlock the door. poor girl. “you just gotta pretend to my girlfriend, just for a couple hours.”
now that, that got your attention. slumping back to the middle seat, looking to him through the mirror. head tilted, suddenly… docile.
“your girlfriend?” you murmur, fiddling with a strand of your hair. “you kidnapped me, to pretend to be your girlfriend?”
eyes rolling to the back of his head, grip tightening on the steering wheel. “didn’t fuckin’ kidnap you,” kidnapped, borrowed, same thing. “you just gotta act the part for couple hours for my family, then i’ll let you go.”
it wasn’t like you just forgot the way he snatched you up, didn’t forget the feeling of his hands on your body, but for some reason, you were willing to hear him out. not that you had much choice.
“soooo,” you murmur, face softening as you speak. “what’s your name?”
why were you suddenly so calm? it was freaking him out. did he manage to pick up a cute little psychopath?
“rafe.” he mumbles, eyes locked on yours through the mirror.
climbing into the front, slumping down into the seat next to him. he could lie and say he wasn’t watching the way your chest bulged over your top as you did, but that be the furthest thing from the truth.
he took his time looking over your features as you sat next to him, the glitter on your eyes, how your hair fell on your shoulders. at least he managed to pick a pretty one.
“what’s your family like?” you murmur softly, almost batting your lashes over to him. “don’t worry about it.” rafe responds, voice gruff, overcompensating for the newfound closeness between you two.
“well, how am i meant to be your girlfriend if i don’t know?” you huff, arms folded over your chest. jesus, you were temperamental.
“oh my god,” he mutters, shaking his head, knuckles growing white from his grip on the wheel. “they’re rich, my little sister will probably talk your ear off, my step-mom’s a bitch and my dad, well, my dad’s my dad.” right, helpful.
the car pulls up to tannyhill, eyes widening slightly at the size of the place. rafe puts in the car in park, and turns his body to face you. “do not fuck this up for me, i have no problem making you disappear.”
you weren’t sure if it was an empty threat or not, but you did not wanna find out. gulping down your nerves, a soft nod of your head. climbing out the car, rafe’s arm gently placed around your waist. the softness such a contrast to the way in which he first touched you.
quick introductions, playing the part. rafe's tight grip on your arm reminding you the consequences if you don't. "y'gonna sit there and look fuckin' pretty, 'kay?" he mumbles into your ear, pushing you down onto the chair. look pretty. okay, that you could do.
"rafe's just the sweetest guy i ever met," you feign a smile, leaning into him next to you, dialling up the affections before his family. ward and rose's eyes dart between each other and you. rafe? sweet? "m'so glad i met him."
fucking jackpot. you're playing this better than rafe ever could imagined, a soft kiss to the top of your head, pulling the dining chair you're sat on closer to his own. his arm gently snaking around your waist, letting you continue on with the forced pleasantries.
"he looks after me s'good," you smile, batting your lashes over to rafe. the smile on his face isn't fake, he's genuinely impressed with the performance you're putting on. "always spoiling me."
"damn right i do," rafe smirks, unable to stop the way his fingers are starting to move up under your top. c'mon, he can't help it. you're too fucking pretty and saying all these nice things about him. can barely blame him, especially when he sees the look of disapproval in rose's eyes when she notices.
"gotta look after my girl." he murmurs, loud enough for the room to hear, playing it off as though the words were meant only for you.
he's not entirely sure if everyone is buying the act, but somehow, it's working for him. rafe's genuinely getting caught up in your words, the feel of your skin beneath his fingers, the way your smile lights up your entire face. he couldn't give a fuck if the act was working on his dad, it was working on him.
"so, how'd you met?" wheezie smiles, leaning on her palms, all too excited about rafe bringing a girl home.
"country club." rafe mutters before you can attempt a lie they won't believe. his eyes barely looking away from you to answer his sister. "mhm, yeah, at the country club." you smile, nodding your head softly. rafe can't hold back the small chuckle that escapes him, pressing a kiss to your temple. you're so obedient, echoing his words, playing the perfect girlfriend. he's almost forgotten he threatened to kill you if you didn't.
his family can barely believe the scene, how gently he's touching you, how softly he's speaking to you, he was acting like someone they'd never seen before. they weren't questioning if you were his girlfriend or not, you'd manage to sell that perfectly well. ward and rose were almost in awe of how you'd managed to turn rafe into what appearred as a functioning human with emotions.
"come on, princess, we gotta go," he mumbles after an hour or so, gently leading you up and towards the door. "so soon?" wheezie complains, jumping onto her feet. rafe only rolls his eyes, ignoring his sister, too focused on getting you alone. "so nice to meet you all!" you smile, waving softly as rafe leads you back to his car.
your nerves take over once you're alone in the car again with him, driving out of his estate. "did i do okay?"
"did fuckin' perfect." rafe nods, a devilish grin plastered over his face. his hand squeezing your thigh over your tights. "that mean you can let me go now?" you whisper, lip between your teeth.
"no fucking way."
no way was rafe letting you go now, not ever. he'd had a taste of what he could have with you, he'd be stupid to let that go. you may have played the part a little too well.
© 222col. do not steal or repost my work without permission.
#bimbo!reader ౨ৎ#bimbo!reader x rafe cameron#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fic#outer banks#outer banks x reader#obx#drew starkey#buffalo 66#★ 222col's writing
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