#if you missed out on even the memes I feel bad for you

[fyeahnix]

Kansas City Chiefs got dog walked by the Philadelphia Eagles and Drake got called a pedo with the crowd screaming "A MINOOOOOR" on live TV, you cannot make this shit up. Peak entertainment tonight.

[muzzlemouths]

Muzz!!! Hello I hope you're doing well waa!

I hope you're sleeping also!! squints my eyes at you (affectionate)

KIBS!!!! HELLO KIBBS HI. I'm doing alright thank you for asking!! I hope YOU are doing FANTASTIC!!!!!! don't look at my sleep schedule though. it's fine I promise it's FINE but don't. look at it ok

[todayisafridaynight]

Okay I can't post it until next week at the earliest and NEED to get this off my chest between now and my next longer reply because of stuff we were talking about:

Confirmed in one of my livestream clips there's been actual consideration towards Mine having survived. It's just a matter of his voice actor's availability and wanting to do it right if they end up doing it. We really could see Mine back in the main series.

And I recorded that clip based on something I misheard and didn't register that part at all until now. How Are We Doing Tonight

(Speaking of, get well soon!! I was sick myself the past couple of weeks, it's awful)

me waiting for the absolute millisecond yokoyama drops the 100% Mine Survived The Fall statement

[luludeluluramblings]

tbh I’m more intrigued by the idea of college-age Reader getting pregnant while unmarried still living in the manor and NO ONE has any idea who the father is (maybe she does, but she’s withholding that for now or maybe he’s not in the picture?) and it’s the biggest freak out ever. that just seems so fucking wild and potentially hilarious to me. and nobody noticing she’s pregnant until she’s farther along? or them finding out randomly?? imagine:

damian: you look pregnant. what is wrong with you.

reader: i am pregnant though

the batfam: ????????!!!!!!!!!! and then she proposes that now that she’s old enough and starting a new chapter in her life raising a baby and all she should just move out! (cue everyone disliked that meme)

Neglected!Pregnant!Reader x Yandere!Bat Family

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Part Two ☁️ Part Three ☁️

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Okay, I think I'm about to become a Pregnancy!Reader writer. Which, I'm not mad about. Kind think it would be fun, but I know the trope isn't for everyone. So, if it’s not your thing, I’m sorry.

A/N: Some of this is based off of things from my own pregnancies.

A/N: Oh, no. Frick, I wanna make this a series now. Check the bottom, cause I have a plot idea for this and I want opinions on it. I spiraled, this was supposed to be a quick blurb. I got carried away. Gonna build up to the yandere shenanigans because I’m turning into a writer with a million WIPs.

A/N: Tagging @skay-ali because I like their The Forgotten Daughter series.

Warnings: Fem!Reader, Very minor Yandere Themes (like barely there), minor NSFW, graphic descriptions of pregnancy and medical procedures, Vomiting.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You don't really remember that night it happened. But, it only happened once and after you swore you'd never drink again. The hangover after that night had been one of the worst of your short life.

In fact, the sticky feeling between your legs and bitter taste on your tongue had also added to your decision to swear of these college parties. Luckily, you have enough of your memory to remember that you and your partner from that night had both been willing even when wasted. Even if you couldn't remember their name. Or, their face.

It takes you a while to notice. One missed cycle wasn't anything to freak out about, and it was exam season. The stress had probably caused the nausea. It wasn't until you were heading down to breakfast one morning and smelled the burnt eggs in the kitchen that Stephanie had burnt that you realized something might be wrong.

You, of course, ignore it. It was just a fluke. Burnt eggs weren't appetizing to anyone. But, then you nearly faint walking through the perfume section after looking to restock your favorite bottle of scent.

The doctor you finally went to another week later had asked about your cycle and the last time you had been intimate with someone. That's when the reality of things started to set in. You hadn't even thought to do an at home test to check. Your doctor was kind though, saying they could just do a quick urine sample and blood test just to make sure. It might be something else.

The next few minutes felt like ages. But, when the Doctor came back to tell you the positive results you panicked. Not as in panicked as in you broke down, but you threw up a mask. You're good at doing that. You must get it from your father.

When she asks you if this is good news or bad news you can't help, but blurt that it's good. Great even. Which causes her to beam at you. Before you know it, you're being handed a complementary diaper bag with formula and tiny bottles while being given the rundown on your possible due date and future appointments. You nodded you're head along with the information, sliding the paper's into the diaper bag as she hands them to you.

But, then she turns to you with delight and tells you that the Ultra Sound tech has an opening and you're just far along enough they can do your first ultrasound. It'll only be a thirty minute wait.

After nodding along once more, you go back into the waiting room. Holding your new bag with white knuckles and falling into deep thought.

This is happening. But, how? Are you even fit to be a parent? You've hardly ever been loved. How are you going to love someone else? How are you going to do this? What will the family think? What will your few friends think? You don't even remember who their father is. This is impossible. You're not ready. You'll never be ready. That churning feeling is in your stomach again and you feel that single piece of toast you had for breakfast about to come back up.

The thirty minutes fly by with those thoughts in your head. They still swirl in your head as your go back into the ultrasound room.

It's dark, but the tech had few soft lights on in the room. Its actually kind of... cozy.

What's not cozy it the tech telling you that she's going to stick a wand up your bits so you could see the baby. Your eyes screwing shut at the cold invasive feeling.

But, when you open them, she turns the screen for you to see. It's almost amazing how fast the image appears on the screen.

And, their moving. Actually moving. You end up laughing at the sight, causing the screen to flicker and the little blob to move. When the nurse plays the heart beat you can feel yours stuttering in your chest.

Watching them bounce in there with each laugh, it’s easy for the next words to spill out of your mouth.

“Oh, I’m gonna love you.”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Every step after that feels remarkably less lonely. It’s not just you anymore. You have someone who you’re going to love.

You don’t bother telling the Family. Bruce would just lecture you on being reckless while the other’s would judge you for it.

Honestly, you don’t care if they did. This is your baby.

Funnily enough, for a house full of detectives and highly intelligent vigilantes no one actually notices. Not even Cassandra. It’s a bit insulting how much they don’t pay attention. But, your symptoms soon make it so you don’t care.

The waves of exhaustion, the way everything smells strong and certain things make you want to gag. Heartburn that burns your throat. The subtle cravings that make you cry when you can’t fulfill them. Thankfully you finished your exams because you were too tired to even move from your bed most mornings due to strange nightmares.

Eventually, someone does notice. And, it’s not anyone you would expect.

Of all things you cried over on the pantry floor, it had to be salt and vinegar chips. They hadn’t been what you wanted, but it was too late to go get french fries and a smoothie at this hour in Gotham. And, you stuffed them down your throat with angry tears.

It was Stephanie of all people to find you. You gave her a sharp glare when she seemed to grow wide eyed. Normally you avoid her gaze, but you were quite pissed about having chips in your mouth and not fries. As her eyes grew wider, your nose wrinkled in further annoyance at her.

Just as you’re about to tell her off, she speaks.

“Do you— um, want something else?”

It’s pitiful how fast your snarl turns into a pleading pout.

“Yes, please. I want fries. I want Jokerized fries so badly.” You practically blubber when she gives you a pointed nod towards the car garage.

It takes you a bit to get off the floor despite the fact that your bump is hardly noticeable, but Stephanie noticed the extremely subtle curve.

“How far?” She asks hesitantly, looking from the bump to your face.

You also hesitant for a moment, looking up at her with tears on your cheeks and a serious look in your eyes. “14 Weeks.”

Her eyebrows raise and a wiry pout appears on her face. “Damn. You’re smaller than I was at that time, so not fair.”

The slightly surprised that information gives you almost makes you pause. But, if you had you would’ve probably toppled back down to the pantry floor.

“Explain on the way?” You ask, still a bit nervous. The two of you had never been close since you moved into the manor less than a handful of years back.

“Sure.” She grins, leading the way.

As you both walk, she whispers. “Does Bruce know?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.”

“Ah.” Stephanie managed to hide the winces from you.

When you two finally make into the car, you’re already feeling better about life. You’re about to have your fries, and possibly a shake too. You didn’t expect to have any company, but surprisingly it’s nice.

Stephanie drives, and get the fries to go. Munching on them as Stephanie drives you back to the manor. Her sharing her own pregnancy experience.

"Wait, so Tim dated you when you were pregnant with another dudes kid? Babe, forget being me being small, you got game."

"Damn right I do." She says smugly, stuffing her own fries in her mouth. "So, um, do you wanna talk about what happened with you?"

And, just like that your mood shifts.

"No."

"Oh- Oh! I'm sorr-" She starts up, and you can tell she's assuming the worst.

"Don't you start, Stephanie." You interrupt with a pointed glare. "I don't want to talk about it because it's none of y'all's business."

That makes her cough on her french fry. "Wait, wait, what do you mean? Don't you want help?"

"Nah, I got it." Comes your stubborn reply, glaring out the window as you dip your fry into the cheesecake milkshake.

"... You should tell Bruce." She suggest after a moment of awkward silence.

"What? So he can ignore his grandchild, too?" Your filter is none existent with your hormones all out of wack.

"He doesn't ignore you-"

"Oh, yes the fuck he does." Your firmly state. Growing a bit heated. "Y'all all figgin do."

Stephanie is about to roll her eyes, chalking your words to you just being unreasonable. But, then the thought starts to creep upon her with each passing building when she realizes this is the first time she's actually hung out with you. Ever.

"I'm sorry." She murmurs to you. The silence falling over you both as the cars continues back to the manor.

"... I'm only forgiving you because you bought my fries..."

"Really?! That's all I had to do?"

"What? I was desperate for this- Wait! Hang on. Stop the car. Stop the car-"

"What? Why?! Are you- OH! Fuck!"

You ended up regurgitating up all the fries you had just eaten. Right into your lap.

"Oooo, that's nasty." Stephanie says, cracking the windows.

"Is it bad that I still want to eat them?" You mumble to her, eyeing the remaining fries.

"Please, please, wait till we get back or I'm gonna hurl, too."

"Fine." Comes your reply. Your eyes drifting shut for a moment. "If you tell anyone I'm gonna tell Cassandra about your crush on her."

"How did you- Frick, you are more like Bruce then I realize." Her voice going from panic to begrudging realization.

"Now, that's offenseive."

"Oh, come on. You're kids gonna have some of Bruce's DNA too."

"Eww. Eww. Don't remind me."

The banter between you both coming back with ease.

When you make it back to the manor, parting ways for the night. You feel at ease. You may have made have finally made a new friend in all this and gained a pillar of support.

As you shower and finish off your fries, you can't help but think about the apartments you had been looking at. Wondering what Stephanie will thinking of your nursery ideas.

Down in the cave, Stephanie slowly walks down the steps. Realizing this might have just gotten complicated.

"You okay, Steph?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Soooooo, what if, and hear me out, wee add some baby daddy drama to this?

A/N: Please note, I write a Reader that DID NOT grow up with the Bat Family, which means we could have some really really juicy drama here. But, we could just keep the options limited to just close friends of the Bat family.

A/N: What do y'all think? Baby Daddy drama? One of the Bat Boys the Daddy? One of the other vigilantes? Should I do a Baby Daddy poll? I just feel like this is an opportunity.

A/N: Also, Stephanie was a teen mom in some comics from my research. Which I think adds to this and gives her a better chance of bonding with Reader until shit goes down.

[airybcby]

Now I'm Covered In You

(bllk boys as boyfriends)

a / n — thought making another post in this form would be fun, so i hope you enjoy!

content — bllk characters x reader, gn! reader, pet names used in a few parts, sadly canon otoya i fear, misspelled words are there for a reason i swear, cheater! otoya and oliver, some characters repeated, lmk if i missed anything!

synopsis — bllk boys and what type of boyfriend they'd be

✿.｡. “ how's one to know? ” .｡.✿

—The Romantic One

is always planning surprises for you, and i mean always. there's not a single week where you aren't being taken on 'adventures' that always lead you to a different restaurant.

what's the point in having all this money and not spending it on you?

they are constantly writing you love letters and poems. well, they try to anyway. they're not the best with their words and with many spelling mistakes, rather liking to show with actions, but they tried for you.

usually their poems end up something like this

' roses are red

so is my heart

my darling

my deer

my sweet buttercup

you taste just like a

tasty soda pop '

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ ISAGI YOICHI, shido ryusei, jyubei aryu, ALEXIS NESS

— The Player

you know the famous saying, "how you get them is how you lose them?" yeah that's exactly how this relationship is.

you'd been one of their many side quests while they had a relationship going on. eventually after they'd ended said relationship, they'd chose you as their next partner.

they do spoil you with many gifts, mostly after you catch them cheating on you for the umpteenth time, but you stayed because they 'loved you'

sure they told you they loved you, but that wasn't really the case when they'd broken up with you because you were 'boring' them.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ OTOYA EITA, oliver aiku

— The Protector

is constantly worrying about you and is looking out for your safety.

with them being this 'big bad' soccer player, many people refuses to even look you in the eyes when you were with them. but if someone dared to hit on you when they walk off for a second? please pray for them.

some guy could be asking you for directions and he'd come up behind you and wrap an arm around you without even uttering a word. you didn't have to look at them to know the look they were giving the man was nothing but deadly.

some may call it controlling, but you knew them, they just wanted to keep you safe from all these men.

you had him, who else would you need?

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ KUNIGAMI RENSUKE, rin itoshi, SHOEI BARO, tabito karasu

— The Funny (insane) One

is constantly making jokes- some that aren't funny - but you laugh anyways.

everyone always asks you how your relationship is doing so well, and the answer is always, " i don't know," because you genuinely don't. yes, the two of you get into arguments, and sometimes the two of you get heated enough to have to take time apart from each other, but you always come back together.

how?

because they always forget what the fight was even about and come back into your space to show you some cat meme they believe you would like.

and the two of you laugh until you feel better again.

maybe you don't know how your relationship is so healthy, but you know why you're happy.

because they take the time to make you laugh.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ BACHIRA MEGURU, RYUSEI SHIDO, gin gagamaru, seishiro nagi

— The Traditional One

dates. Dates. DATES!!

they took you on soooo many dates before officially asking you to be their partner.

they definitely give the vibes of "my mom taught me i needed to..."

just the best gentleman!

you need to step over a puddle? they're putting their jacket down over it for you (it wasn't necessary, but they insisted on it)

you talked about wanting to see a movie once? he's already bought the tickets.

if you get married? he's insisting you stay home

" a pretty face like you doesn't need to work, i'll provide us everything." in his words

will do anything for you, really.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ YUKIMIYA KENYU, michael kaiser (pls ignore the mom part), REO MIKAGE, oliver aiku (again)

✿.｡. “ i'd meet you where the spirit meets the bone ” .｡.✿

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!!

[calliesmemes]

ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED QUOTES FROM TUMBLR TEXTPOSTS, X (formerly known as twitter) POSTS, TIKTOK, MEMES, AND OTHER SOURCES AROUND THE INTERNET

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   Currently considering becoming a bother and a nuisance, maybe even a menace or a rascal. ”

“   Hungry? Eat the government. ”

“   Yes, I wanna fuck after every argument. ”

“   Silence, you uneducated peanut! ”

“  They should invent a being alive that isn’t so difficult. ”

“   Women have to think I’m hot or none of this matters. ”

“   Due to personal reasons I will be named an enemy of the state. ”

“   Being overdressed is a myth made up by people who didn’t want you to have fun and be sexy. ”

“   What even are daddy issues? Just traumatize your father back. ”

“   I LOVE complaining! You can’t take that away from me! ”

“   I went to the silly goose convention and they all knew you. ”

“   I’m simultaneously ‘I’m tired of this grandpa’ and ‘that’s too damn bad!’ ”

“   The word ew coming out of a pretty girl’s mouth holds so much power … I think that it can tear apart nations. ”

“   Someone made fun of my shoes and the whole time I just thought of ways to push them out the window. ”

“   If you’re short, simply get taller. ”

“   I better think twice? Buddy I don’t even think once. ”

“   My off putting looks, awkward demeanor, and strange behavior have captivated you. ”

“   There’s something deeply, fundamentally wrong with you. Can we kiss? ”

“   You are a fool. When you walk, clown music plays. ”

“   I mean yeah he’s evil and all but what if I were his favorite? ”

“   I really do hate thinking. ”

“   In my defense, I simply do not vibe with the law. ”

“   I’ve done nothing wrong. Except all the atrocities. Besides that, I’m innocent. ”

“   Sorry I couldn’t hear you over my internal monologue. ”

“   Of course you have white hair and trauma. ”

“   So apparently the bad vibes I’ve been feeling are actually ‘severe psychological distress’. ”

“   Stop calling me a bad person just because I’m orchestrating your downfall! ”

“   The more lip gloss I collect the longer I live. ”

“   Sorry that I am obsessed with you in the unhealthiest way possible. As if it's my fault ”

“   The multiple failed assassination attempts against me have helped build both character and self esteem. ”

“   I could be your loser boyfriend. Do you ever think about that? ”

“   Accidentally went and got myself killed yesterday, but god wont let me die so I’m back ”

“   What do you mean napping isn't a good coping mechanism? What do you mean my problems are still here? ”

“   Academic validation is required for my sanity. ”

“   RIP to everyone killed by the gods for hubris but I’m different and better. Maybe even better than the gods. ”

“   Researching the stages of grief to see if I can get them finished in ten minutes tops. ”

“   My parents were like I’m gonna make a child that is so beyond help. ”

“   It’s not easy to admit when you’re wrong, and that’s why I won’t do it. ”

“   Why can’t this family ever have a funky good time? ”

“   How do I show people that I’m more than my unethical career choice? ”

“   I fucked my way into this mess, and I’ll fuck my way out. ”

“   You look so biteable today. ”

“   Why am I suffering? I have so many correct opinions and takes. ”

“   I AM HAUNTED BY A PAST THAT I CANNOT GO BACK TO! anyways ”

“   Challenging authority, angering gods. The family business. ”

“   Third base is me telling you about my father. ”

“   Hey girl. Plagued by terrifying visions? ”

“   Got caught giving a fuck. Embarrassing. ”

“   I didn’t ‘miss’ the red flags; I saw them and thought that they looked sexy. ”

“   Do my dark circles and deteriorating health make me look hot? ”

“   I get my news from the only reliable source, cryptic symbolism in my dreams. ”

“   Another day of being a bisexual disaster. ”

“   I’m going to let myself be a little unhinged today, as a treat. ”

“   Some of you act like murder is such a big deal. ”

“   You wanna hunt me for sport so bad that it makes you look stupid. ”

“   You’re not a girlboss unless you’ve killed someone. ”

“   It’s so weird how no one ever has correct opinions about things except for me. ”

“   Hello, my love — I mean, my rival ”

“   No one is calling me baby and it’s outrageous I can’t believe it. ”

“   No talking stage. Mutual obsession and you see god in my eyes or nothing. ”

“   I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOOKUP CULTURE DIE IN MY ARMS ”

“   Yes baby your emotional walls are high and impenetrable can we kiss now? ”

“   Affection is disgusting. Drown me in it. ”

“   I am gatekeeping my respect from you. ”

“   Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions. ”

“   I am equal parts fuck around and find out and please don’t yell at me I’ll cry. ”

“   Short legs, big butt. I’m a corgi. ”

“   Fuck being the bigger person; I’m going to start biting people. ”

“   Well that wasn’t very slay of you! ”

“   May I please get a crumb of affection? ”

“   I crave power! Please don’t yell, though; I’m sensitive. ”

“   You call it a near death experience; I call it a vibe check from God. ”

“   Here are some scissors. Now cut it out. ”

“   Might commit a little tomfoolery, maybe even some shenanigans. ”

“   All these flavors, and you choose to be salty. ”

“   How can I live, laugh, love in these conditions? ”

“   What if I said ‘to be honest’ but then lied? ”

“   I'm financially at a stage where I understand why people do fraud. ”

“   Yes I may be evil and morally corrupt, but I’m also incredibly beautiful and I think that makes up for it honestly. ”

“   Debates are stupid. Why would I want to sit down and argue with someone blatantly dumber than me? ”

“   I forget but I do NOT forgive.. I'm just walking around hating bitches can't remember why ”

“   Ding dong your opinion is wrong! ”

“   I’m coming for your kneecaps. ”

“   You dropped your nose you fucking clown. ”

“   Are you a fire alarm? ‘Cause you are really fucking loud and annoying. ”

“   Call me an escalator, because I let people down. ”

“   I love me a good lesbian scandal! ”

“   If you can’t run away from your problems, you’re not running fast enough. ”

“   Everything I want to do is illegal. ”

“   Don’t make me hit your ankle with my Barbie scooter! ”

“   I tell gay jokes because I am a gay joke. ”

“   Fuck! I dropped my mental stability! ”

[familyfaten]

Attention ...‼️‼️

Hello to all friends, how are you? I am talking to you now and I am in a very bad and difficult situation that you cannot imagine. I am Faten Baroud, 27 years old. I have a family of 6 people, 3 girls, and my older brother Nidal has been missing since the beginning of the war😔. My younger brother Ahmed, who is 14 years old, is a "child."

We depend on him to carry water, food and drink. He works hard to provide us with only bread and water and nothing more. He endures hardships for us.

For a month or more, I have not received any donations. My campaign is going badly and slowly. Gfm is our only hope for survival. 🙏🏻

⚠️The largest donation I receive does not exceed $10. I am suffering to access the internet and communicate with you. I am telling you about my suffering because I am in a place where the internet is not available. I am forced to go out to another place and risk myself to communicate with you and buy an internet card to get better internet to communicate with you, but unfortunately to no avail. I don't find any interaction or any attention...

🚫Unfortunately, I resorted to making a donation campaign to help my family, and this is the best way I did as a girl to help her family in these difficult and dangerous circumstances...

Despite all this, we are now suffering from famine, not just food famine. I am now living a food and drink famine. For 3 months, I have been speaking and spreading that I need clean drinking water, but there is no response to my suffering. No one feels. There are children in my family, and they are the children of my brother who was lost at the beginning of the war. We are responsible for them. They sleep every day thirsty. Imagine that your children sleep thirsty every day! 💔😭

Even the simplest basics of food, which is bread, the price of a bag of bread has reached $40, and a bag of flour has reached 700 shekels, which is about $200, and it will not be worth this amount. It is flour full of worms, weevils, and disgusting insects, but this is what is available. I cannot buy it. It has a bad smell, but this is the best available.

Even as I am talking to you now, I am sick and infected with the influenza virus and a high temperature (fever), and I can't even buy a fever reducer. This is all due to malnutrition and the lack of warm clothes and blankets to warm our bodies in the winter.

I feel ashamed and helpless that I can't buy medicine for me and my family. I was a doctor who treated all patients, and now I do not have $1 to treat myself.

You can save us this time, the situation is very difficult ...

Our life is in your hands

@c-u-c-koo-4-40k @a-shade-of-blue @roadimusprime @90-ghost @quezify @wellwaterhysteria @wellfine @wander-bunnies @dlxxv-vetted-donations @lesbianmaxevans @jezior0 @zivazivc @zigcarnivorous @z0urcherri @heydreamchild @girlinafairytale @bunnypotions @labutansa @maester-cressen @magic-can @noble-kale @neptunerings @importantt-reblogs @iphigeniacomplex @phenakistoskope @appsa @greenwingspino @nytirri @naggingatlas @classychassiss @pcktknife @paper-mario-wiki @crapscicle @90-ghost @yetisidelblog @yellowis4happy @sporesgalaxy @vilethot @mushroomjar @xxlunawarriorxx @eastgaysian @escaramelo @rinboz @rottencore @turtletoria @thundergrace @the-meme-monarch @komsomolka @killy @thatsonehellofabird

[sabertoothwalrus]

I probably missed it, but what IS your favourite Dungeon Meshi ship?

WELL SINCE YOU ASKED, I have a chart already hdhshdh

1) Farcille is my number one!!! I wish I’ve drawn more of them, but most of my ideas for them are longggg and angsty and take a lot more mental bandwith. I’ve said before, I approach comics like I’m pitching an idea, and I mostly* agree with people’s depictions of them, so I have less to say.

*I say mostly because I cannot stand when people depict Falin as possessive, or disregard her characterization to give her generic dommy alpha monster traits hdhshdjs NOT THAT IT’S BAD it just doesn’t feel true to her character. I find myself bored by it.

I’m also put off by some of the folks I’ve seen in the farcille tags. They’re like,,, cliquey?? There was a point where people were dunking on mlm ships that came off borderline terfy, as if most of the dungeon meshi mlm shippers aren’t transmascs and lesbians?? I wasn’t a fan of the hostility like lmao it’s cartoons man

2) labru……… I love them….. mostly just post-canon. I really love Kabru (I think he’s my favorite character overall) and I loveeee the poetry of their individual character arcs and how well they play together. Guy who struggles to be honest, even with his own feelings vs Guy who doesn’t even consider being anything except honest. Kabru needing to carefully, painstakingly craft a mask tailored to each individual he interacts with, vs Laios, who is the only one to make all of Kabru’s masks fall apart. Also I think they’re kinda aro about it. They’re really good t4t flavored too.

The main appeal is post-canon. The King and his advisor. His right hand man. But it’s also the way like,,, Laios is DEFINITELY not the one in charge in their relationship dhshshsh (and this is what peeves me about how @myszkaa’s labru comic got memed to hell and back…. they don’t understand the later of comedy is from the KING asking for PRAISE from his SUBORDINATE!!!)

I will say!! This ship has a lot of folks with good takes on it, but it’s not immune to flanderization and boring yaoification. It’s popular enough that there’s enough of the good stuff.

3) chilshi!! I’ll admit this one has less canon validation hdhshsh but I think they have a lot of post-canon potential, and I think their difference in lifespans + the contrast in their lifestyle habits is really interesting and directly addresses a lot of the Dungeon Meshi’s core themes.

Part of the reason I like hanging out with chilshi shippers is cause most of em are chill, more nuanced in discussions, and are actually willing to draw fat & hairy people. And middle aged people.

special mention Kabumisu. I WISH I LIKED THIS ONE MORE!! I’ve tried,,,, I see the potential but I’m so picky about it and most of the content for it does absolutely nothing for me 🙈

Another thing is I HAVE to be able to like a pairing platonically to ship them romantically. Obviously shipping isn’t the only thing that matters to be about dungeon meshi.

I could say a lot more. Feel free to ask about my thoughts 👍

[tjwritesfanfics]

I'm stupid, do me (Spencer Reid)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Frustration and zoning out can lead to interesting things.

Warnings: None really, just ogling Spencer illusions to sex~

Words: 588

Main Masterlist | Criminal Minds Masterlist

AN Basically it's that Tik Tok sound meme "I have the urge to do something stupid." "I'm stupid, do me." Very short and fun

Spencer and you were stuck in a small precinct room, him working on the geographical profile and you attempting to help, but kind of zoning out from lack of sleep. Things have been non-stop around the clock lately. It was like serial killers decided the BAU didn’t need a break and honestly it was a little rude. A little beauty sleep goes a long way.

But right now you were running on really bad police coffee, some way too sweet donuts (like how is that even possible?), and the sight of Spencer Reid in his purple button up and his sleeves rolled up.

God he looked so good not only in button ups, but in that color, really brings out his eyes. Speaking of his eyes, they were narrowed in thought, scanning over the map, nimble fingers marking different spots.

You bite your lip now thinking about his fingers. If he wasn’t your coworker you would have already tried to sleep with him. It was super unprofessional to sleep with a man you work so closely with, but that didn’t stop your fantasies from running wild. It’s also not like he felt anywhere near the same as you did.

Hotch came into the room, Morgan and Emily following behind him. You didn’t hear what they were saying, honestly not even really noticing they were there, eyes still eating Spencer alive.

“There has to be something else we can try.” Hotch crossed his arm.

Spencer went from the table to the board. “I have the urge to do something stupid.”

“I’m stupid, do me.” You voice up.

Silence fell over the room as everyone turned to you, you being unaware of what had just come out of your mouth due to the fact that you were still staring at Spencer’s arms.

All of the sudden it hit you.

You shot up from your seat, eyes wide and looking around at the people in the room. “I said that out loud didn’t I?” Morgan grins at you and Spencer awkwardly nods his head. “I’m just gonna…”

Sprinting from the room, you hear cheering from the room, feeling kind of betrayed that your coworkers would celebrate your awkwardness. Groaning you stop to hit your head on the wall. Normally you were able to keep your sexy comments to yourself, but you were going to blame the lack of sleep.

“Did you mean it?”

You jump at the sound of Spencer’s voice behind you. “Geez Spencer! Don’t do that.” There was a beat of silence before you went on a ramble, “Look I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable in there. I am running on like zero sleep and that really bad police coffee and no sex for like months and it just kind of came out.”

“But did you mean it?”

“Y yeah I did.”

Spencer grins, taking your face in his hands and crashing your lips together, you gasp at the sudden contact before melting into his touch. His lips are slightly cracked, but you didn’t mind, especially when he drags you into the nearest room, shutting and locking the door.

“We have to make this quick,” He says between kissing you, “but I am not passing this up. I’ve waited too long for you.”

For once you were so grateful for your tired big mouth.

And don’t worry, after the mind blowing sex, Spencer was revved up and clear headed and found the missing link in geographical profile, leading to the take down of the Unsub.

Go crazy sex.

(Banners by cafekitsune)

[ladybyakuya]

| HIGH IN LOW PLACES + natsuki seba & yoichi nagumo.

+cw. — fem!reader, headcanon + scenarios format, canon typical themes and elements, mention of alcohol and drinking,ex.plicit smut{ mention ofunprotected, oral acts }, slight angst and fluff.

+wc. — 2k.

+syn.— how do they generally spend their off day ? Is it any different when you're with them?

+notes. — my sk days debut post. yay! yay! i just caught up with it and im still making memes in my head ( yeah, its that bad </3)tap the banner for better quality </3 cuz tumblr made it so whack after upload. the title is from a song by beach weather ( one of my recent favs ). i have some more wips on sk days but lets see if the starts align or they go against me. wanted add two more characters but i got carried away while writing. so next two for next weekend ig. if you catch my favoritism, then good. go ahead & exploit it ;) | redirect to blog navigation.

✦ natsuki seba : 

The sun has not even kissed the horizon yet. It is still afternoon. Natsuki was busy building one of his work-in-progress weapons as usual even though it was an off day. The JCC is not exactly asleep but is surely a little doused today. JCC never sleeps. You are in his dorm room, waiting for him to finish his work at least to a certain stage and then have lunch with you but you doubt he is barely aware of what time it is. You are not exactly hungry, at least not for those wet soggy noodles but you do miss him even though he is right in front of you. There are times when you have to feed him lunch so that he can keep working. The dorm room is small for two but given the habits of you two, it always works out, somehow. You sleep when he is working while he sleeps when you are busy or out to get something. But currently, sleep is nowhere to be found at the banks of your eyes.

“Natsu, come eat with me,”

Seba turns his head at first and gives you a look; a look that clearly states: “Are you mad?” Do you know how ridiculous you sound? His eyebrows grow closer while his lips pucker forming a pout and then he goes back to working again. He is mocking you. He is working while you sit idle and flip through a porn magazine from his collection. It’s funny because the porn magazine is not his. It is from Shin. He was just looking out for him. Shin thought it was highly uncanny how a guy could make weapons all day and night, and be obsessed with something so odd that one forgets to masturbate. Doesn’t even have the urge? Or better does his curious side not think about such self-pleasurable prospects? Well, what would Shin know?

“Natsu, come eat me out,” 

At first, he looks up from the device he was working on and then spares a glance at you.

You make yourself busy flipping through the pages of that lewd magazine. He is staring. You can feel it.

He goes back to work again but a second later he puts the miniature parts from his hand beside the device and turns his chair towards you rubbing his chin as his elbow stands on the hand-rest of the chair. He is considering it. Holy Shit. You did not mean that.

“Really? Can I?” There is a thin layer of sneer laced underneath his voice.

You closed the magazine and stood up, keeping it on his table. He looks at the cover and a chuckle escapes from his chest probably remembering how he got it or why you ordered him to eat you out; not that he would mind . . . his eyes are back on you again. “Now that I’ve your attention. Finish your lunch and then work on your project.”

“I’m going out to meet someone,” You try to leave but he grabs your wrist pulling you back in front of the bed. 

“You're lying.” he snorts out a chuckle.

“You know,” Natsuki gets up and takes slow steps towards you as you back away cornering you as he still holds your hand. “eating you out . . . that might just be the thing I need to finish my project.”

Wait. what?

Before you can ask anything he just puts you on his shoulders, walks to the bed throwing you on the mattress. For someone who is a weapon engineer, who does not spend time on fieldwork he sure has a lot of strength.

“I didn’t mean it. I just wanted to get your attention that’s all.” you try to protest but it does not faze him, not even a little.

“Well you did a good job.” Grabbing your ankles he pulls you towards the edge of the bed before getting on his knees. He points to the cup noodles. “And, i’m not eating that.”

He pulls down your panties and shorts simultaneously. You do not stop him because you crave him as much as he needs this to de-stress or that’s how he would put it. Spreading your legs he places a trail of tender kisses along your thighs threatening your sanity, threatening the urge to push him away but you simply do not want to do that. You want this: him worshipping you like he used to. The moment his lips graze your entrance you arch back, hands resting on the mattress and crumpling the sheets as Seba gets more devoted to the cause. You put one of your legs over his shoulders as he buries his face deeper inclining his face a little to lap his tongue against your pussy lips. You bite your lower lip roughly before a whisper of words comes out of your mouth, “Ya know, you should return those magazines to Shin,”

“What?” he asks; nose glistening with your arousal, wet lips, cherry cheeks, and excited eyes. A curvature appears along your lips as you run your fingers through his hair and tug at it revealing his forehead forcing his eyes to close just for a second. He is still waiting for your response. 

“Nothing. Get to work,” you say and he listens to it like a good boy.

✦ yoichi nagumo.

“Is it that tasty?” Nagumo asks drinking an o-choko full of sake from your share. His face distorts feeling the strong fizziness. “How can you drink this?” his voice spikes up as he gulps it down. He hates it, hates this, that how you on every weekend would to go Sakamoto stores and buy liquor to drink out your misery. What a waste! He does not understand why you would spend your weekends drinking, especially when he is here. Sakamoto would often tell you to stop drinking but what’s the point? You nod like a good girl, buy some cup noodles and chips and after the store closes Shin arrives with the booze. Shin is knocked out on the floor already. But he is still keeping up with you not that he enjoys it but he is looking for an opportunity to make you stop and in that process, he ended up taking a few shots. He hates it, he hates this. He hates how you make drinks. It stings on his tongue. This is not because he wants to spend his off day with you. He rarely gets a day off and he can not go that to waste, can he now?

“Wanna fuck?”

You look at him with heavy eyes and a flustered face for a few seconds. “No.”

He is stone-cold sober. He is not even that drunk, to begin with. You are. You are still so dizzy and slumber threatening your eyes but you force them open divulging, “Too much work.” Ah! The slur. The slur in your voice. His head tilts as a smile breaks on his face like a plague.

“I’ll do the work.” Nagumo insists. “All of it.” His voice is low, slow. He wants to get through to you. “I’ll make you feel so good.” He does not want you to dismiss his words as just a drunken haze or something like that. He is already neck-deep in guilt for being unable to give as much time he wants, as much as the time you demand and crave from him. He can not sabotage your security but he would not deny that he likes meeting with you in secret; gives him some sort of thrill he thinks. “I promise,” he mumbly adds.

But he does not want to overdo it or wear you out. He can’t. He won’t. He is a good when he is with you. “Woah, careful.”

After moving the bottles and cups aside, now you are all on your fours crawling towards him like a cat. He can see your boobs, the nipples— everything. Wait, is that his tank top? He must have left it when he came to you here last time. He can’t remember when but he remembers he lost that one black tank top.

As you reach, your face inches away from him you lean for a kiss but he sways away. It instantly ruins your mood. He is smirking now as you are pouting. It turns into a snort. “Shin’s still here,” He points at the boy sleeping on the couch. You glance at the boy and then look at Nagumo. He is confused. You are impatient. Fuck it.

You hold on to his shoulders trying to get into his lap, legs sprawled apart and as you make yourself comfortable your legs get clamped around his waist. He does not lose his balance but rather helps you with it.

“Babe, Shin’s still here,” Nagumo repeats making you remember.

“Don’t care,” you shout and Nagumo covers your mouth with his palm while his index finger stills over his lips shushing you. You nod. It seems he got through to you.

You do not allow him to dodge him anymore.

You lean into his hand that is still over your mouth, nuzzling against his palm. He shoves his fingers into your hair, his index finger grazing behind your ears igniting your skin with goosebumps. His thumb roughly stretches across your bottom lip before you kiss the tip of it but he swats his hand away before you could suck on it; grabbing his other arm and you slide it under the blacktop. Nagumo does not squeeze your boobs. Not yet. He does not want to do it, not like this. Last time, both of you were sober and now both of you are drunk: you on alcohol and him on you. You buck your hips trying to get closer to him. 

“God Nagumo, why are you being like this? You said you'd do all the work. . .”

because it's amusing. The fact that you are scolding him with a whispering tone is making him tremble in mirth. He is barely holding it; you are frustrated, drunk, and horny. God! What is he going to do with you? Can he really hold himself back? Maybe he should not have proposed the idea in the first place. His hands are stretched, settled on the floor as he watches you: intently, nervously.

“Kiss me.”

And your lips instantly dance against his in a frenzy yet his hands are still on the floor. Even in this state, you manage to unbuckle his belt with one hand as the other works on the buttons of his shirt. It turns him on how swift you are too. You would be very skilled in his line of work. Maybe you are, too skilled that he did not even notice. Nah! you can't be a spy.

“Put it in” you command this time breaking the kiss. Nagumo was just starting to get to the good part of the kiss only to get deprived of it. He does not waste a second to abide by your said words. If he did, he might have to walk out thinking out the possibilities of how odd it was for a first meeting with you.

Strong hands against the plush of your hip as he adjusts his cock to your entrance. He pushes aside your panty before rubbing it against your entrance. Your hands squeeze the muscles of his shoulders.

“Without . . . condom?”

So, is that why he was delaying it? You thought he didn't want this but mentioned it for the sake of pity and now he is trying to get on your nerves to wake Shin up.

Your brain freezes after such a flow of info. You give him a nod.

Nagumo swallows before his cock goes inside without rubber. It's electric: the feeling of your flesh around his.

“Take me to that room,” you gasp out the words.

“What?”

“I said what I said.”

You become so handful when drunk not that he minds. He takes you to the room kicking back the door behind you to close before crashing onto the bed.

The next morning Shin has to buy a pair of black trousers for Nagumo and he does it without even questioning. He really does not wanna know what happened after he took you inside the room.

@underratedcharactercorner

@interstellar-inn

[galactic-rhea]

WDYM Anakin is Luke and Leia's dad

I dunno if this post will reach the Star Wars fandom but I hope it does because I'm sure you all will get a good laugh at me.

As of recent I have developed a good hiperfixation for Star Wars, the thing is I knew nothing. NOTHING about Star Wars besides the fact it had aliens and...a war...in space? And funny swords. And main character is Luke or something, I spent over 20 years ignoring anything about Star Wars and somehow missing most references out there.

And recently, literally less than a month ago I saw a gif and said to my partner "oh this guy this guy looks cool, this gif looks nice" and he said "Oh well, he's a good character." And it all developed into me watching Clone Wars, the animated series you know and...and I was kinda blown away, on my opinion the show IS GREAT. And I love every character and their interactions, I love how much they focus on side characters, and they all seem very well written. I got hiperfixated really fast and saw Anakin and I was like "Omg, babygirl. He's a blorbo now."

And because of the show, this was super unexpected, but somehow I also got, really got, into the ship with Padmé because omg, cool woman. Literal happy squeaky noises of someone who was in a bad state and needed some good ol' distraction and comfort.

Now, like I said I knew nothing about Star Wars as a whole. And I still haven't watched the movies, besides the ocassional gif?

So imagine my shock, my surprise, my...bewilderment when I realized.

"Wait a minute, LUKE IS ANAKIN'S SON?! HOLY-"

Ladies, gentleman, and others, I think I came very late to this party and I don't even know how it took me so long.

Not only that, but because of this sudden love for the series, I went to my friends circle like "BESTIE, GUESS WHAT, I HAVE A NEW BLROBO AND A NEW FAV SHIP AND EEEP"

And my friends are like "omg that's amazing, what is it?"

I tell them, and of course they all know these characters and they all react like they know this very bad secret fact and I got told several times already "Please, don't watch the episodes 2 and 3 alone, it will hurt."

I feel like blissfully walking among rainbows and blue skies while everyone else know that my future is doomed. Somehow.

(Uncomfortable silence)

Not only that, but then I spent a whole deal of time thinking "Where the heck I have seen these guys" cus there was some fmailiarity I couldn't just point out and then one day I woke up, brushed my teeth and of all sudden I realized and it was such a shock.

Do you know how SURREAL is to get very into a character, and into a ship, and then realize they're the same from that super widespread meme that has been around for who knows how much time?

I swear I thought that meme was from some old medieval fantasy movies or something.

But alas, Star Wars now is EVERYWHERE. People do references to Star Wars ALL THE TIME and it's just now I'm catching them.

I got spoilers. From a meme. In a youtube review that had nothing to do with Star Wars hah. Everything is a spoiler, the world is an apparent spoiler. Now I'm here, trying to avoid spoilers from something everyone seems to know, even my family knows. It's so surreal and I wouldn't have it any other way 😂

Anyways, if you read until here, know that a wild ride still waits me, cuz I'm only starting Season 3 of Clone Wars and I don't plan to watch the movies until I finish the series.

And yes, I made this blog just to ramble freely about SW and draw stuff because it sparked my inspiration after a long art block.

Have this doodle I drew after watching the two first episodes, my offering for you reaching this far.

Note: Wouldn't Anakin and Padmé's ship name be Animé? Cuz that's hilarious.

[shotmrmiller]

There's a post going around abt price lying about his sex life and why do I think Simon would be the same way? He's like nah mate I don't fuck but goes home to reader every time to make sure that mattress still has an impression of reader

that's funny because i think price would fucking boast. you know those 'we trying for a baby' 'why tf do i wanna know you getting stuffed full of cum' memes? that's him.

oh he's letting everyone and their mom fucking know that he's going in with only the gun he keeps by his bedside as protection cuz babyyyy-

and do not asking him what positions to have some sort of cheeky gotcha moment he will spill any and all beans. he doesn't care. proud of it. he's got a heavy sac and a full heart and ain't ashamed in the least.

simon is the one that lies. yeah, he could have tons of one nighters. used to, too. the boys know him well enough that if he up and leaves in the middle of a 141 night out, he's gotten in someone's pants. and he still does that. doesn't say a word after finishing that swill soap calls beer and just-

leaves. blends into the shadows and disappears. soap tends to give some crass whistle too like don't do anything i wouldn't do but he's just running to go home to you cuz he:

misses you

needs to be inside you

also tired, social battery is empty

he doesn't tell even price anything. it makes him feel a bit bad, almost. (keyword almost. you're the upmost priority and if john is the man simon knows him to be, he'd understand)

he trusts him to always have his six no matter what and here simon is, hoarding you like a dragon does his treasure but he just can't risk anyone knowing of you. will not come home to an empty, bloodied home like he did last time.

all it takes is one slip of the tongue. one word to fall onto listening ears for you to get taken and killed, if not worse. he's made one too many enemies. he knows he's dangerous. knows his life's dangerous. but he gives up so much for his country so the least anyone can let him have all for himself is you.

and no photos taken :) except for the ones he lets you take of yall on polaroid.

[mattybsgroupie]

— sleepover ★ matt sturniolo

— CONTENTS: established relationship; handjob (m receiving); thigh riding (f); p in v; creampie; mommy kink; sub!matt

— NOTES: i wrote two dom!matt fics in a row i do not recognize myself. back to the sub!matt agenda, somebody has got to do it, i am the chosen one!!! (please it’s a trump meme) this is a silly little one i wrote cuz i’ve been dreaming some weird things these last few days and i’d very much like to fuck matt afterwards. not proofread but hope you enjoy it. always so thankful for every like, comment, reblog and follow, love y’all sm ♡ btw next week i might post a chris request i got idkkk

i woke up out of breath, sweat dripping from my forehead as i tried to calm down. it was a nightmare - a terrible one, where i no longer had matt and no matter how much i’d scream, my voice wouldn’t come out. my phone buzzed, the screen lighting up the ceiling and part of my room. it was 3am.

i reached for the nightstand, first taking a sip of water and then grabbing my cellphone, checking my notifications. i had one missed call from matt and two other messages, which only read “babe, you up?”

i felt as the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders, my chest gradually lowering as i got more relaxed. i smiled and speed dialed the first number on my list.

“why are you awake!” matt picked up in a surprised tone, not really waiting for my answer. “i just texted you, did you feel it coming or something?” he giggled.

“hi, babe” i said, my voice still shaky. “i just woke up, actually”

“what happened?” matt asked me once again, clearly concerned as he heard how i sounded. i gulped and gave a few taps on my chest as i rested my back on the headboard. “what is it, hm? bad dream?”

“uhum” i nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. he knew i’d soon be curled up between the sheets, trying to fall asleep again. “what about you babe? can't sleep?” i asked, already knowing the response.

matt sighed and i could picture him running his fingers through his hair, trying to not upset me “anxious”.

“i’m sorry to hear that, matty” i pouted from the other side of the screen. “do you wanna facetime?” i suggested what we had done plenty of times. we’d be facing each other, talking nonsense until one of us fall asleep - of course, when things didn’t take a turn to either matt’s or my own horniness.

“actually… was thinking about coming over” i smiled, but he couldn’t see it. he always made me feel like a teenage girl, changing the reason of my nervousness to something silly, like him coming over.

“no way, you’re not getting the road right now” i said, playing hard to get.

“what?” matt sounded confused. “why not?!”

“it’s late and i worry about you” i responded. “don’t you have something schedule for tomorrow?”

“i don’t give a fuck” matt said, “i wanna be with you right now, do you wanna be with me?” i nodded and as if he could see me from there, he continued. “please, mommy?”

“i’m waiting!” i jokingly hang up on him after gasping by the nickname, as if it was too bold of him to call me that.

i heard three knocks on my bedroom door and didn’t bother getting up. i rolled myself on the bed, waiting for him to join me.

“did i take too long?” matt asked, biggest smile on his face. he locked the door and quickly came next to me, lying down by my side.

“yeah, you know mommy doesn’t like to wait” matt widened his eyes, gulping at my words, realizing what he had done over the phone.

“i just said that so you could let me come over” he said, acting tough as he rolled his eyes before resting his head above my chest, snuggling into me.

“oh, that’s too bad” i pouted, my fingers running through his hair. “you got me all worked up…”

matt quickly raised his head, blue eyes staring at me in surprise, grin growing on his face. “did i? really?”

“of course, my good boy always gets me going” i teased, matt’s cheeks turning red. “why? you came here to sleep?”

“i mean” he started, grabbing my waist, turning my body over and changing our positions. he was now under me, his hands resting on my hips while i adjusted myself in order to get comfortable on his lap. “not anymore”.

matt leaned in for a kiss, holding the back of my head and bringing us closer. i could feel his beard slightly tickling my face as he deepened the pressure of his lips against mine, silently asking to go further by sticking his tongue and teasing me. i opened my mouth and matt’s tongue quickly slid in, the wet sounds taking over my darkened room.

one of matt's hand moved to my breasts, massaging it over the shirt. i gasped for the sudden contact, pulling away from the kiss, which led him to go to my neck instead. he trailed his lips down, altering between biting and licking my skin. my hands went to his hair once again, tangling my fingers on his curls.

matt lowered his head and stopped right above my nipple before looking at me with needy puppy eyes. i nodded vigorously, but instead of removing my shirt, matt hid his face underneath it, streching the cloth in order to fit inside. i felt his wet tongue teasing my nub and since i could no longer pull his hair, i rested my hands on his bare thighs. as matt started to swril his tongue, i threw my head back and couldn't help but start to move my hips forward, trying to get some friction to my already wet pussy.

i let out a moan when his free went to my other boob, his thumb circling the hardened nub that poked through the shirt. i wanted to look at him - wanted to see how his beard looked like rubbing against my skin, which color the hickeys he left would be, how much would the saliva run down my torso.

with my eyes closed and feeling matt sucking my tits, i tried to touch the hem of my shirt in order to remove it, i couldn't stand one more second without looking at his eyes again - however, my palm met something harder, covered by a soft fabric. i groped his shaft and received a muffled moan from matt, still busy in my tits. now with my eyes open i could finally take my clothes off, revealing matt with his messy hair, beard wet from rubbing his face against his own kisses, lips swollen.

“look at me baby” i called and carressed his cheek, “you said you wanted to sleepover and now look at you, already a mess for mommy...”

“i'm s-sorry, mommy” he started, “can't help it, you taste so good”.

“yeah? did you miss me?” i teased, starting to drag myself over his thigh once again. “we saw each other two days ago”

“it's too much” matt complained, hands going to my hips, helping me set a proper pace. “needy again”, he glanced at tent on his shorts, where my palm rested.

“is mommy's baby needy?” i almost mocked him and he nodded pathetically, but still not letting me take full control as he started to pump his legs' muscles, making my pussy clench. i opened my mouth, but nothing came out of it. matt's grip tighetned and he forced my body down, completely leading my movements.

“mommy seems needy as well” matt spoke, smashing his lips against mine. i let out a frustrated whine, wanting to feel more - i needed him inside of me. “aren't you?”

“yes- fuck” i said, trying to come back to my senses regain control of the situation “babe, be a good boy for me hm?"”

when i finally stroked matt's boner, his hands rapdly went to my ass, both palms groping it harshly as i entered inside his pants. i wrapped my fingers around his aching cock, and being the good boy he was, matt lifted up his hips, allowing me to pull down his shorts and reveal his hardened dick. he touched my waistband in response, silently asking if he could do the same to me. i mimicked his moves, letting the fabric slide down my legs.

“thought i had told you to not wear panties to bed” he said, pulling the strings of my underwear. “isn't mommy supposed to be good as well?” matt was driving me crazy with all the teasing.

i suddenly started to move my fist up and down, quickly jerking him off. matt was used with me starting slow and building up his excitement until he climaxed. but tonight, it didn't seem like he wanted to be treated kindly. matt threw his head back and closed his eyes, groaning loudly “f-fuck!”

i brushed my thumb over his tip, matt’s body immediately reacting, jointing his hips forward into my fist. i dragged my finger on his slit as matt’s nails dig into my skin, spreading the pre-cum down his shaft. his breathing got heavier, chest rising and falling quickly while he bit every inch of skin he could reach.

“not talking back anymore?” i asked, gradually stopping my motions, receiving a groan in response.

“mommy, don’t be mean” he pleaded as his sneaky fingers made their way to my entrance, pulling my panties to the side. he kissed my neck, making my eyes roll as i melted into his touch.

“matthew” i caught his attention since i didn’t really use his full name often. “stopping teasing so fucking much and just fucking say it”. he widened his eyes before letting the grin grow wide on his face.

“please, please, please” he said, “ride me, momma”i immediately got out of his thigh, adjusting myself to be in between his legs. i could feel matt’s cock being lazily dragged against my now bare pussy, panties removed as soon as i got up.

i lowered myself on his shaft, nearing my throbbing cunt to his leaking tip. both of my hands went to matt’s shoulders, looking for balance as his grabbed my hips, helping me fully sit on his length. matt’s dick was huge, stretching my walls as he hid his face on the crook of my neck, tickling beard making me giggle as i tried to adjust myself to his size.

“wasn’t so hard, was it?” i asked, getting comfortable to move my hips up. as i started riding, matt wouldn’t say a word, only muffling moans in my ear. he denied with his head, whining as i fastened my pace.

“c-close” he said, gripping tighter. “mommy- fuck”

“hold for me baby” i spoke, already out of breath, bouncing harder on his dick. matt decided to stick his face on my boobs and dragged his tongue along my skin, biting my nipple and holding me by my waist, jointing his hips forward in order to reach his high quicker.

“yes baby, just like that” i praised, matt now pounding mindlessly into me. “good boy, good boy” and that’s what took for him to snap, groaning loudly as his cock twitched and he released the knot on his lower belly, spurts of his warm cum filling my insides.

his spasms brought me closer to the edge, but i wouldn’t stop riding him. i kept on bouncing on his cock, now in search of my own climax. “mommy- mommy, fuck!” matt cried from the overstimulation. his whimpers got louder and so did my moans as my orgasm washed over me, mouth hanging open with my trembling body as i came over matt’s shaft.

i was too tired to remove myself, letting my weight fall over him. matt rolled us over, both of us laying in my bed. he turned to the side and pulled out, the mix of our realeases running down my legs and staining my sheets. matt let out a chuckle as he wrapped his arms around me, bringing me closer to his chest.

“should we sleep now?” i asked, running my fingers through his tummy.

“kid” he called, pointing to my bedroom widow. “the sun is already up” he spoke - as if this was gonna stop us from sleeping till noon. “but that’s why i came here, right? sleepover”

“of course, you’re always so clever” i rolled my eyes and giggled, allowing my body to relax next to his. i closed my eyes and knew that, while matt was around, the bad dreams would no longer come.

[smallestapplin]

You know what?

Swerve absolutely deserves to go on a date with his loving partner who constantly covers his entire being with kisses and praise!

Lost lights gonna be shocked when they find out swerve pulled a baddie.

I love this mans he is one of my sweetest boys!

Swerve really is that meme of “me, and the bad bitch I pulled being autistic.”

Swerve would be that meme of “my goth partner doing a spell and me doing whatever they say.”

He’s just a big love bug I swear, he’s love shaped, he’s perfect for hugs and would give you so many, as many as you could ask for.

The Lost Light is confused as to how the fuck he managed this, but he doesn’t even care, he can’t even remember anything he might’ve been upset about cause you’re holding his helm in your soft hands, cooing so sweetly at him.

“My handsome man, I missed you today. Knowing you’re working so hard at the bar, and I couldn’t even visit you.”

You have his knees weak and shaking, hell they might just give out from under him. Dopey smile across his face plate, cheeks flushed blue with energon.

He’s a mess, he’s swooning, you have him wrapped tightly around your finger and he doesn’t want to let go anytime soon.

Every kiss you place on his face, barely avoiding his dermas has him whining, letting out shaky breaths as he await to feel you lips on his.

You might take him to the ground like this alone.

He’s smitten, how could he not be? It’s you! Have you seen or met yourself!? He’s the luckiest cybertronian in the galaxy.

[favefandomimagines]

All Of The Girls You Loved Before (j.b)

Summary: being long distance in a high profile relationship definitely has its downsides

AN: this is in the same universe as my other Joe Burrow fic! Maybe I’ll write more for the obx actress!reader x Joe Burrow

Y/N shifted on the couch, her script spread across her lap, but her mind wasn’t on the scene. It hadn’t been all day. She reread the same line three times before groaning and tossing the script aside. The tension with Joe had consumed her thoughts since their fight.

Their phone calls had been strained lately, and she had chalked it up to the Bengals' rough season. Joe didn’t talk much about his struggles, but she could sense them in his clipped tone and the way he avoided certain questions. She’d known dating an NFL quarterback would come with unique challenges, but she hadn’t anticipated how isolating it would feel when he withdrew.

The fight two nights ago still stung.

They had started the call with light conversation, her asking about practice and him asking about her day on set. But as usual, his mood shifted.

“Another tough day?” she asked gently when he grew quiet.

“Something like that,” Joe muttered.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No, not really.”

The curt response stung, but she tried to push through. “Joe, you know you can tell me anything, right? I want to be here for you.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it, Y/N,” he snapped.

She blinked, caught off guard. His tone was sharp, harsher than she’d ever heard from him before.

“Okay,” she said, her voice carefully measured. “But you can’t keep shutting me out. If you’re frustrated, don’t take it out on me.”

Joe let out a frustrated breath. “I’m not taking it out on you. Why do you always think everything’s about you?”

The words hit like a slap.

“Excuse me?” she said, her voice rising.

“You heard me,” Joe replied, his tone defensive now. “I’m allowed to have a bad day without you making it worse.”

She stood up, pacing her small living room as she gripped the phone tighter. “Making it worse? Are you serious right now? Joe, I’ve been nothing but supportive, but I’m not going to sit here and let you treat me like I’m part of the problem!”

“I’m not treating you like anything!”

“Yes, you are!” she shouted. “And you know what? Maybe I’ll stop asking how you’re doing. Maybe I’ll stop caring, since it’s so damn inconvenient for you.”

Joe went silent for a moment. “You’re being dramatic.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I have a right to be! Call me back when you’re ready to act like a grown-up.”

She hung up before he could respond, her chest heaving.

Now, days later, she replayed the fight over and over. Was she dramatic? She didn’t think so. She had only wanted to help, to understand what he was going through. But the way he spoke to her… it wasn’t okay.

Her phone buzzed on the table, and her heart jumped. It wasn’t Joe. Just her friend Madelyn texting about plans for the weekend. Y/N sighed, her chest tightening with disappointment.

She missed him. Despite everything, she missed the way he made her laugh when they were together, the way he’d send her silly memes in the middle of the day, the way he’d whisper ‘goodnight, gorgeous’ before falling asleep on the phone with her.

But she wasn’t going to chase after him. He needed to meet her halfway.

As she stared at her phone, willing it to light up with his name, she wondered if their relationship could weather the storm they were in—or if it was already too late.

||

Y/N sat curled up on the couch in her trailer, a blanket draped over her legs. Filming had wrapped earlier than usual, and instead of heading out with her Outer Banks castmates for dinner, she had opted to spend the evening alone. She had barely spoken to Joe since their argument, and the weight of their silence was beginning to feel unbearable.

She opened Instagram to distract herself, scrolling mindlessly through her feed. Fan accounts, cast photos, and behind-the-scenes snapshots blurred together until her thumb froze over a post.

A drama account she didn’t even follow had posted a photo of Joe standing outside a restaurant.

Her breath hitched as she processed the image. There he was, unmistakably Joe, in his signature black hoodie and jeans. Next to him stood his ex-girlfriend. The caption read:

Spotted: Joe Burrow reconnecting with his ex outside a Cincinnati hotspot. Old flames reigniting?

Y/N’s stomach dropped.

The photo wasn’t damning in itself—Joe was standing a few feet away from his ex, his hands shoved into his hoodie pocket, his posture casual. But the sight of them together, even in such a neutral context, was enough to ignite the insecurities she had been suppressing since the beginning of their relationship.

Joe’s ex had been part of his life during a time when everything seemed to be falling into place for him—his Heisman-winning season at LSU, his rise to fame, his transition to the NFL. Y/N had always felt like a footnote in comparison to someone who had been there for the “glory days.”

She opened the comments, against her better judgment.

They look so good together.

I knew it! He and Y/N didn’t seem like a good match.

Y/N could never compare to her.

Her heart twisted painfully as she locked her phone and set it down beside her. For a moment, she tried to rationalize it. Maybe it wasn’t what it looked like. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Maybe—

Her thoughts spiraled as doubt crept in. Joe hadn’t called her since their fight. He hadn’t tried to make amends or even check in. What if he had gone to his ex for comfort? What if he missed the simplicity of a relationship that wasn’t long-distance and riddled with the challenges of their demanding careers?

She picked up her phone again, staring at his contact name.

“Just call him,” she muttered to herself.

But she didn’t.

Y/N hated how the fight had left things between them. She hated how the silence had stretched into days. But most of all, she hated how vulnerable the photo made her feel. This wasn’t her—jealousy wasn’t an emotion she wore well. She prided herself on being confident and independent, on trusting Joe and the bond they had built.

Still, the photo lingered in her mind like an itch she couldn’t scratch. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw them together, and the doubts whispered louder.

She poured herself a glass of wine and sank deeper into the couch, replaying the past six months in her mind. Joe had never given her a reason to doubt him before. He was loyal and grounded, far from the egotistical superstar he could easily have become. But the distance between them—and the way he had pulled away after their fight—left her questioning everything.

Hours passed, and by the time Y/N went to bed, her resolve was firm.

If Joe wanted to explain himself, he’d have to be the one to reach out.

||

Y/N was sitting at her kitchen counter, sipping her second cup of coffee and scrolling aimlessly through her phone, when it buzzed. The name on the screen sent her heart lurching: Joe.

For a moment, she stared at it, debating whether to answer. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear what he had to say—or if she wanted to. But the call persisted, and with a deep breath, she swiped to answer.

“Hey,” she said, her voice cool, but betraying a tinge of nerves.

“Hey,” Joe replied softly. His tone was different, gentler, like he knew he had some explaining to do.

An awkward silence stretched between them. Y/N didn’t know whether to start or let him speak first. She tapped her fingers against the countertop, waiting.

“I, uh, I figured you might’ve seen that photo,” Joe finally said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, I saw it,” she replied tersely. “Kind of hard to avoid it when I’m being tagged in the comments every 30 seconds.”

Joe sighed. “I need you to know that whoever took that picture posted it without any context.”

“Okay,” she said cautiously. “Then give me the context.”

He hesitated for a moment, and she could hear him take a breath. “I was leaving a restaurant with Ja’Marr. We’d grabbed dinner after practice. As we were walking out, I ran into her. She was coming in. We said hi, and that was it.”

“That was it?”

“Yeah. That was it. I didn’t even stay to talk—I left right after.”

Y/N leaned back against her chair, her mind working through his words. The explanation made sense, and Joe didn’t sound defensive or evasive. But the sight of the photo had opened a wound she didn’t know was still there.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked softly after a moment.

“I thought about it,” Joe admitted. “But after our fight, I didn’t want to make things worse. I figured we needed some space, and I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“It is a big deal, Joe,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “She’s the one person I’ve always been insecure about. And then I see a picture of you with her, and you don’t even think to give me a heads-up?”

“I get it,” Joe said quickly. “I should’ve told you. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I was just trying to give you space.”

“Well, it didn’t help,” Y/N said bluntly, though her voice had softened.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice earnest. “I swear to you, there’s nothing there. You’re the only one I want to be with, Y/N. You have to believe that.”

She sighed, the tension in her shoulders easing slightly. “I do believe you. I just… I don’t like how things have been between us lately. We barely talk anymore, and when we do, it’s like you’re a million miles away.”

“I know,” Joe said, his tone heavy with regret. “I’ve been caught up in my own head, and that’s not fair to you. You’ve been nothing but patient with me, and I’ve taken that for granted. I’m sorry, Y/N. For everything.”

His words melted away the last of her defenses. She missed him, missed the warmth in his voice when they talked, missed the way he made her feel like the only person in the world who mattered.

“I missed you,” she admitted softly.

“I missed you too,” Joe said, his voice tender. “So much. I hate how things have been between us. Can we fix this? I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me,” she assured him, a small smile creeping onto her face. “But you have to promise me one thing.”

“Anything,” he said quickly.

“No more shutting me out. Even when things are tough, I need you to let me in.”

“I promise,” he said without hesitation. “I’ll do better, Y/N. I mean it.”

For the first time in days, Y/N felt a weight lift off her chest. Things weren’t perfect, but they were talking, and that was a start.

“Good,” she said, her voice lightening. “Because I’m not going anywhere, Joe.”

“Neither am I,” he said. “And I’m going to make it up to you. Just wait and see.”

As they ended the call, Y/N felt a spark of hope. Their relationship wasn’t perfect, but neither of them wanted to give up on it—and for her, that was enough.

The weeks that followed their reconciliation were a whirlwind for both Y/N and Joe. They fell back into a rhythm of late-night phone calls and spontaneous FaceTime sessions, sharing moments from their hectic lives.

Joe’s mood had lightened, and while the Bengals' season still had its ups and downs, he made good on his promise to let Y/N in.

But as they navigated the challenges of distance, the world outside their relationship remained relentless. Y/N was on set in Charleston, finishing a long day of shooting, when she received a text from Madelyn.

Have you seen this?

Attached was a link to yet another drama account post. Y/N hesitated before clicking, already bracing herself for the worst.

The photo that loaded onto her screen showed her walking alongside her co-star Drew Starkey, both of them smiling under the warm South Carolina sun. The caption read:

Y/N spotted holding hands with Drew Starkey during an off-day in Charleston. Sparks flying on and off the screen?

Y/N blinked, scrolling down to the comments, her stomach sinking.

They look so cute together!

Drew > Joe, no offense.

Poor Joe. Long-distance never works anyway.

Her jaw clenched. She remembered the day the photo was taken—just two days ago. The cast had gone out for lunch as a group during a rare break in their filming schedule. Drew had walked beside her, but they hadn’t been holding hands. That part was completely fabricated.

She hated how easily people could twist something innocent into a narrative that didn’t exist.

Her phone buzzed again, this time with a call from Joe. She stared at the screen, her heart racing. Of course he’d seen it. She could only imagine what he was thinking.

Taking a deep breath, she answered. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Joe said, his tone calm but strained. “So, I saw the post.”

“I figured,” she said softly. “Joe, it’s not true. I wasn’t holding hands with Drew. That whole thing is made up.”

“I believe you,” he said quickly, and she could hear the sincerity in his voice. “I know how these accounts work. It’s just… I hate seeing stuff like that. You’re out there living your life, and I’m stuck here. It’s hard not to feel… I don’t know. Insecure, I guess.”

Her heart ached at his vulnerability. Joe was always so steady, so sure of himself, and hearing him admit to feeling insecure reminded her that even he had his moments of doubt.

“Joe,” she said gently, “you don’t have to feel that way. Drew is just a friend. That day, the whole cast went out. It wasn’t just him and I.”

“I know,” he said, though his voice was still tight. “It’s just hard, you know? I’m not there with you. I wouldn’t blame you if you… I don’t know, wanted to be with someone who’s actually around.”

“That’s not what I want,” she said firmly. “Joe, listen to me. I don’t care about anyone else. I care about you. Only you.”

He was quiet for a moment, and she could hear him let out a slow breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let it get to me.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “But you have to trust me. Just like I trust you.”

“I do,” he said softly. “I trust you, Y/N. I just hate that we’re apart so much. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.

The words hovered on the tip of her tongue. She hadn’t said them before, and neither had he. But now, after everything, it felt like the right moment.

“I love you, Joe,” she said, her voice steady despite the nerves coursing through her.

The line went silent for a beat, and she held her breath.

“I love you too,” he finally said, his voice filled with warmth. “I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while. I just didn’t want to scare you off.”

She let out a soft laugh, relief washing over her. “You could never scare me off.”

They stayed on the phone for hours, the conversation shifting from deep confessions to light hearted banter. For the first time in weeks, Y/N felt completely at ease, knowing that no rumor or distance could shake the foundation they had built together.

joeyb_9: Her y/nofficial

1M Likes

username: I knew him and Y/N were still together!!!

username: my parents

username: if he’s taken, I’m glad it’s by her

username: you know she’s the one when he posts about her! he never does this

y/nofficial: 🤍🤍

y/nofficial: Him joeyb_9

1M Likes

*limited comments*

madelyncline: um mom and dad?

madisonbailey: 🥹😍

username: I am rooting for them until the end of time

username: I may hate the bengals but I love Joe and Y/N together

joeyb_9: you’re it

username: SHUT TF UP

username: THEYRE TOO FUCKING CUTE

[54625]

I miss kelp cocaine

I miss everyone congregating at Phil and Missa's, I miss Roier's over exaggerated moan every time he and Cellbit kissed, I miss everyone throwing their balaclavas on and going "passa tudo...", Tubbo's constant grilling of Fit and Pac (especially Fit), Mike's hairdressing, everyone singing the Pac e Mike wow wow song, Gegg, the admins striking people with lightning perfectly on cue, the Foolish cheating allegations, Slime and Mariana traumatising their viewers, Dorime playing randomly, people turning eachother rainbow coloured with the rainbow jelly, Dapper randomly pulling out all kinds of crazy creatures from his backpack, the extremely overwhelming pre-event meet ups, Las Casualonas, the casualonas dance, Sunny's materialism, Etoiles telling everyone how and why their armour and weapons aren't actually optimised, Phil breaking the fourth wall, Baghera and her fish joke, Rubius abusing his creative power, Foolish ruining the tension during serious moments, Cellbit obsessing over every lore lead or clue, Roier and his hilarious PNG builds, Felps "finally being added to the server", Fit always looking after Mariana's builds in his absence, everyone playing hide and seek, Cucurucho spying on and jumpscaring everyone, Quackity constantly being made fun of for his dead kid, Phil and Fit's aggressive "friendly" flirting, Cellbit talking over Richas' shoulder while he's painting, Leonarda's spoiledness, Ramón's obsession with the citric acid cycle, Slime's ability to show up for an event out of nowhere and just completely derail everything, new players always freaking out about Fit's voice, Quackity desperately trying to find a match since day 1 and always failing, Maximus' talk show, people teleporting in and out at just the right second, Jaiden's love for Hatsune Miku infecting the server, Bad and Foolish's encounters, Ramón threatening to blow himself up or digging himself into the ground when he doesn't get his way, Tallulah drowning herself when she doesn't get her way, the hilarious mistranslations, the wonderful screenshots, Vegetta's mines, Jaiden's expanding list of nationalities, Antoine being an enigma, the in-game karaoke place, Bobby starting fights, Juanaflippa dying over and over, Empanada trauma dumping about her first death to Bagi, Cellbit's vivo turbo ad, Bad yelling "language!", Pol and Foolish and Mouse not being able to stop laughing around each other, Pierre and Max's damn furry club, "no mames!", Spreen leaving for cigarettes, Bad stealing furniture, Missa being incomprehensibly cringefail (I will never forget that "bucket clutch"), Felps' hole, Tubbo's bigger hole, Mike going crazy that one time, Chayanne whipping out his cooking utensils, "Fofoca!", Pomme being the French Sniper, Pepito being homeless for a sec? Richarlyson's many personalities and characters, Tilin being "la tres leches", Trump even being called Trump to begin with, Cucuruchito flirting with everyone, dozens of plots to break into various federation buildings, hundreds of rule breaks, DanTDM being theorised to be Bagi's missing brother, Etoiles' love-hate relationship with the codes, Kameto going out for milk, Tina's heavily one sided rivalry with Fit, everyone changing their skins for events and some people being so extra with it, things falling into chaos every time an event needed them to travel a long distance together, the messy group photos, Charlie's grief spirals, people meeting up at Spreen's bar way back when, everyone making an effort to speak languages they don't speak, the sharing of international memes, the teaching of swear words, the joy that was born from the interconnectivity.

Just all of the things, dumb, hilarious, or adorable. The moments, bits and little jokes that made the QSMP so engaging, fun and entertaining to watch. That made you feel like you were participating in one massive celebration. I miss it.