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crowsofdarkness ¡ 1 day ago
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Truth: One Shot
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-gif not mine. credit to owner-
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 8,799
Content Warnings: language, angst, tiny bit of violence, mentions of death, mentions of drunk driving, alcoholism, and implied smut.
Summary: A next door neighbor bound with secrets; one of which nearly breaks you from the inside out.
-originally posted on my old blog-
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I walked up the last few steps towards my apartment, the long and emotional day finally catching up to me. The three hour drive turned into a six hour and with half of my day gone, the thought of climbing into bed brought a soft smile to my lips. The amount of people I had to plaster a fake smile for mentally drained me so I was thankful I didn’t have to see anyone for the next 12 hours until someone undoubtedly face-timed me to check in. 
Grief wasn’t something I expected to deal with overnight and the support was nice when needed. But it had been years since that night, I was at the point in my life where I was ready to finally move on and accept it, even if his family continued to check in every day. 
Whatever joy I felt about being able to quickly slip inside and into my bed left my body when I noticed two guys hanging around the apartment door across from mine, chatting amongst themselves. Internally I groaned when I knew that I wasn’t going to go unnoticed by them. Almost every day one of them would ask for my number or ask to come inside. It never got physical and they accepted no the first time. 
It still bothered me that they tried every day. 
“Hey baby, why the long face?” One of the guys asked. 
Not wanting to deal with any of them today, I ignored them and reached my door in a quick flash, ready to get this interaction over with. However the other guy had stepped in front of me to block me from entering my apartment. 
Unbeknownst to them, I had gripped my car key in between my fingers; to be safe. 
“Please move. I’m not in the mood tonight.” I threatened. 
He licked his lips. “Come on. One night with us will change your mood. I guarantee it.” 
I sliced my eyes into him. “Move. Now.” 
He didn’t budge and the other guy was now lurking behind me. My heart hammered in my chest, not knowing what was to come. The key could only do so much damage with the two of them. 
“Everything alright?” 
I looked over my shoulder and let out a long breath of relief when I saw my next door neighbor leaning against his doorway, concern etched on his face.
“Doesn’t concern you.” The guy behind me said while not taking his eyes off of the back of my head. 
“I think it does,” my neighbor said. 
The guy that was blocking my path inside didn't bother to see who my neighbor was before he spoke up. 
“Man, get back inside. She's fine!”
“She doesn’t look fine.” 
The same guy grabbed my hand, ignoring my neighbor, and led me towards my door giving an extra hard push. 
“Tell him babe, you’re with us.” 
I haven't officially met my neighbor, only seeing him in passing, so I hoped he understood the look of despair I gazed his way. If that didn’t catch on, the way I mouthed ‘help’ should have. 
Before I could register what had happened, my neighbor had the guy behind me on the floor clutching his stomach and the guy in front of me pinned up on the wall, gloved fingers around his throat. By the look of fear in their eyes, it was clear that they finally realized who saved me. 
“I don’t want to see you lurking around here or bothering her again, understand?” 
They guys were out of sight in seconds, not wanting to get on the wrong side of my neighbor again. 
“You alright?” He asked while giving me a quick once over with his intense eyes. 
I nodded, my heart calming down. “Yeah, thank you for that. They always hang around but never got that close before.” 
My neighbor nodded. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay.” 
He went to walk back into his apartment but my quiet voice stopped him. 
“Thank you again, Mr. Barnes.” 
He turned to face me once again. “You can call me Bucky. I’m around anytime if you need something.” 
We shared a small smile before slipping into our own apartments. 
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The quiet solace of my apartment was everything I needed after the absolute hell of a morning I had. I never meant to raise my voice at her, she was hurting too, but she was asking questions that I didn’t even know the answer to. 
“I never said I don’t miss him, Barb. It’s just been so long that I can’t keep dwelling on the what if’s.” 
“How can you say that? Don’t you want to know what happened to him?” 
“Of course I do! But there’s no leads; no answers. I don’t know what else you want from me.” 
“He’s my son, Y/N. I will find out what happened to him whether you want me to or not!”
“He was my husband, Barb! I don’t have any fucking answers on how he died because I don’t know how he died! The cops don’t even know. So stop thinking I’m hiding something from you.” 
My mother in law meant well but she was tired of not having answers to what happened; we all were. But none of us were accusing each other of hiding something. 
I let out a deep, aggravated sigh, while I pinched my eyes shut, hoping it would help the headache that was slamming behind my eyes. My body molded into the couch, hoping that it would ease away the worries I felt. The darkness I saw behind my eyes began to fill with memories that night, hours before he died, and my veins filled with regret knowing that I was the reason he was dead. I kicked him out that night, told him not to come back unless he kicked his habit. 
Alcohol consumed his life and it wasn’t something I could deal with anymore. 
The constant fights because of him staying out all night at the bars or showing up to important things drunk as hell. 
Maybe if I let him stay, he would still be alive. 
I quickly shook those thoughts out of my mind, knowing that even if I did keep him home that night, one way or another he would have still wrapped his car around a tree. 
The only answers the cops could give me was that they believed he was driving drunk. I believed them because I knew the kind of man he was; as much as he loved me, he loved the booze a bit more. 
His mother never wanted to believe that her “precious son” could have those demons so when I told her what happened, she didn’t believe me. 
My phone’s alarm went off with the message laundry and I remembered that I had been working on my laundry when Barb called. 
Making sure my phone and keys were in my pocket, I let my door close behind me as I walked down the long hallway and hung a left, the communal laundry room coming in sight. 
I always chose to do my laundry in the middle of the night because everyone else in the building was asleep so I didn’t have to worry about someone hogging all of the machines. 
So to say I was surprised when I saw someone else in the laundry room was an understatement; mostly because Bucky had his back to me, folding away. I only knew it was him because of the metal fingers that worked to fold a shirt of his. 
“Here I thought I was the only one who did laundry at 3 am,” I smirked while walking past him. 
Bucky gave me his own. “I usually don’t but couldn’t sleep so I figured I might as well get a couple loads done.” 
Realizing that my clothes weren’t quite dry yet, I set them for another cycle before giving Bucky my attention once again. 
“Did I have my t.v to loud? I only moved in six months ago and sometimes forget that these walls are paper thin.” 
He quickly shook his head when he noticed the sorrowful frown pulling my lips. 
“Not at all. Just couldn’t sleep,” Bucky shrugged. 
 There were rumors around the complex of him, some that I opted to pay no mind too but there was one that I did believe; his nightmares. 
The walls were incredibly thin and you can hear a conversation from the person on the other side of the wall. Which meant I had heard Bucky have nightmares once or twice. Given who he was and what he used to do, I couldn’t blame him for having them. 
For a brief moment, our eyes locked and the fire I felt burning in the pits of my stomach with how intense his gaze made me bite the inside of my cheek. I had only seen him in quick passes so never got the chance to actually look at him. His blue eyes were dark, filled with exhaustion, but somehow still shone bright. His stubble that covered the lower half of his face was filled with a few gray hairs, and the long hair that he had when I saw him a few nights ago was gone. 
My mouth fell open. “How did I just notice you cut your hair?” 
Bucky smiled. “Needed something different.” 
“Well you look good. I mean it looks good. Not that you don’t look good, you do but your hair looks good too.”
Words spewed out like vomit before I had the chance to stop it. I felt my cheeks burning in embarrassment. It had been so long since I attempted to flirt with someone and the first chance I had, I blew it. 
“I’m just going to glue my lips shut now before I embarrass myself even more.” 
Bucky chuckled while lifting his basket with ease, metal arm twinkling in the overhead light. Some of the other rumors that went around the complex was that people were afraid of him because of his arm. But I always found myself intrigued with it. 
Black with gold lines twisting and turning all around his arm. I wanted to trace it with the tips of my fingers. 
“If you glued them shut then we wouldn’t be able to keep talking,” Bucky said. 
“I’m sure there are other people around here that will be glad to talk to you without embarrassing themselves.” 
He shrugged. “I don’t like talking to them as much.” 
My brow peaked at his comment. “Are you saying you like talking to me?” 
He gave me a wink before walking out of the room while calling over his shoulder. 
“You look good too by the way.” 
The previous heat I felt down below intensified and had to swallow the moan that came crawling out of my throat. This was the second interaction we shared that lasted more than a few seconds and slowly he began taking over my mind where I found myself thinking of what he was doing and how badly I wanted to talk to him or see him. 
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“God, I need a bath and a large milkshake,” I groaned to myself as I reached the last step of the floor to my apartment. 
My eight hour shift that started at six this morning became a fifteen hour shift and now that it was reaching close to nine in the evening, I never craved sleep more than I did right now. 
As my door came into view, I quickly noticed that Bucky’s door was open and he was hanging around it, a few people with him. They were chatting amongst themselves and clearly having a good time so I decided not to impose. My head was down as I searched my purse for my keys, trying to go unnoticed. 
“Long day?” 
Bucky stepped away from his group of friends and leaned against my door frame. 
I nodded. “My boss asked me to stay a few extra hours; I couldn't say no.” 
“So I’d assume you’re too tired for a drink?” Bucky asked while stuffing his hands into his pockets. 
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve got the late shift tomorrow so I want to take advantage of the extra sleep.” I apologized. 
He waved me off, saying he understood. 
“Plus, I wouldn’t want to impose on your friends.” 
“You wouldn’t,” Bucky shook his head. “But if you change your mind, the offer still stands. 
I nodded a quick thanks before I watched him walk back into his apartment, the skinny brunette girl attached to his arm. A twinge of jealousy stirred in my stomach and I let out a gruff groan, knowing that it was ridiculous of me to feel jealous. 
The rest of the night passed with nothing exciting, that was until I had decided to finally go to sleep, only to be kept awake by nightmares of that night. Flashing red and blue lights, his car wrapped around the tree, his body hanging out of the driver's side door with blood pooling from his head, and the sirens being drowned out by my screams. 
I awoke with a scream, it echoed throughout my apartment, and my chest rose and fell with each heavy breath. It had been so long since I had dreamed of that night but it was still as raw as that night. 
Once I had calmed down, I finally could hear what was coming from the wall behind me. The headboard banging against the wall in the apartment next door only getting drowned out by the moaning of what could only be described as ecstasy. 
But as soon as I heard it, it ceased being replaced by hushed voices. 
“Did you hear that?” 
“Why’d you stop? I was so close.” 
“I think the scream came from Y/N’s place.” 
“Bucky, come on. I’m only in town for tonight. Don’t waste it on someone else. I’m sure that person is fine.”
Damn these thin walls. 
With a quick jump from my bed, I tossed on a sweater and sweatpants before climbing onto my balcony through my large bedroom window, allowing the fall night air to calm my racing thoughts. I don't know who I thought was on the other side of the wall, clearly that was Bucky’s room and there was a brunette clinging to him when they walked back into his apartment. 
It still stung to see someone else with him. 
Why does it matter to you? You’re not even on his radar. 
I shook the thought from my mind and looked up into the sky, hoping to see some stars. Why I ever moved to New York, I never understood. With the noise and lights, trying to look up to the night sky for some peace was inevitable. 
Tears fell and I ghastly wiped them away as I thought back to my nightmare, visions of him lying there in death, all alone. Soft sobs fell from my lips and shoulders shook with despair and hatred that I allowed him to leave that night. 
“Everything alright?” 
I slightly jumped at the voice and saw Bucky leaning against the shared railings of our balcony, a beer bottle loosely hanging between his fingers. 
“Yeah,” I nodded while avoiding his gaze. 
Thankfully it was dark out here so he wasn’t able to see my tear stained cheek. Between the nightmares and hearing Bucky having sex with someone else, I was a wreck. 
I wasn’t sure why the thought or image of him with someone else bothered me so much. This feeling was unknown, something I hadn’t felt in so long; since before my husband. Maybe that’s why I felt like this, guilty for it being because of another guy. 
You fancy him, dumbass. 
Blinking away the thought, I leaned deeper into the chair and closed my eyes, enjoying the breeze. 
“Anything I can help with?” Bucky questioned. 
“I don’t want to keep you from your company.” 
He quickly shook his head. “You’re not.” 
“I’m fine, Bucky. I just couldn’t sleep,” I kept my eyes trained on the chipped away  nail polish on my fingers. 
The curtness in my voice didn’t go unnoticed by him. “I heard a scream-.” 
“Bucky, there you are! What are you doing out here, it’s freezing!” 
Both of our eyes landed on the woman that had slinked her way next to Bucky, a hand on his back and a soft kiss to his cheek. 
My heart fell deep into my stomach and I let out a shaky breath to try and compose myself. I didn’t want to cry again, not in front of them. 
“I’ll be there in a minute. I’m talking with Y/N,” Bucky nodded towards me. 
I shook my head while standing to my feet. “I was actually about to head to bed. See you around.” 
“Perfect, let's go Bucky.” 
The brunette linked fingers with him, purposely avoiding his metal hand, and tried to drag him inside. 
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Bucky wondered. 
I nodded, trying to hold the tears back but Bucky could see right through my facade and told the brunette he would meet her inside. Reluctantly she nodded and soon it was the two of us again. 
“She seems nice,” I motioned towards where she was previously standing. “Sounds like you two had a good night.” 
Bucky’s face fell when he realized what I was talking about. “You heard?” 
“Thin walls.” 
He cursed under his breath. “I’m sorry, we’re usually more quiet.” 
“Oh, so this isn’t a one time thing?” I wondered. 
“Does it matter?” He asked. 
But then the confusion was replaced with humor, a sly smirk pulling at his lips. His elbows leaned against the railing, his face coming closer to me. We were so close now I was afraid he could tell that I had been crying so I kept my gaze trained hard to the floor beneath my feet. 
A cool metal finger lifted my chin and I sucked in a breath when I drank in his gaze, so powerful and moving. 
“Are you jealous?” 
My lips parted, unsure of how to answer mostly because I didn’t even know if that’s what I was feeling. But I did recognize one feeling and was coursing through me; comfort. 
It was a simple action, his finger lifting my chin, but that had been the first contact I’ve felt in so long that it almost over took me, the tears pooling at the corner of my eyes. 
“No,” I finally answered. 
Bucky snorted, not believing me. Whatever witty comment he had was gone when tears fell from my eyes, concern clouding his gaze. 
“Hey, what’s wrong?” His hands now cupped my face. 
I shook my head in his grasp. “I’m fine.” 
“Y/N,” he urged. “You can talk to me.” 
My eyes refused to meet him, knowing that if they locked, I would melt into him and tell him everything. He didn’t need that, though. He could have been dealing still with his own trauma, I wasn’t going to pour mine on top of it. I had been dealing with it on my own for so long, I could continue too.  
I breathed, feeling his pinkies gently trace circles in the back of my head getting tangled in my hair. The slight action caused a quiet moan to fall from my lips. 
Not a sexual moan but a need for more affection. 
Bucky seemed to have understood so with his metal fingers he ran them fully through my hair and begged me with soft whispers to look at him. 
I obliged. 
His blue eyes bore down at me and with his touch, I felt myself crumble into him, my hands slowly grazing up his chest to his shoulders. I was ready to let it all go, let him in. 
Until her voice sounded behind us once again. 
“What the hell?” 
Bucky turned to look at the brunette, ready to explain himself but before he had the chance, I slipped out of grasp with fresh tears falling. 
“I’m sorry,” I whimpered. 
His pleas to come back meant nothing as I slipped back inside, shutting the window behind me. 
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The buzzing from my phone on my end table meant nothing as I turned my back to it, adjusting a new position on my bed. With my blankets pulled up to my chin, another broken sob fell as the water from my eyes continued to stain my pillow case. 
I knew who was blowing up my phone, I didn’t need to check. 
Bucky had found my number from the apartment phone book the other day and he had been trying to get into contact with me to see how I was doing. 
It had been almost a week since that night on my balcony and I had done everything I could to avoid him. Not sure why I felt I needed too, he only was trying to help. 
Truth be told, the memories of my husband and his accident had caused me to go into a dark place, not wanting to leave my apartment let alone my bed. Since I moved to New York, I was alone, no one to share in my grief with which is why whenever a wave crashed over me, I fucking drowned in it. 
When the buzzing phone finally ceased, I breathed a sigh of relief and forced my eyes to shut in hopes of letting the dark slumber take it. 
Three persistent knocks to my window caused my eyes to spring open and when I saw Bucky sitting on the other side, I groaned. 
“Leave me alone!” I yelled, fully engulfing myself in my blankets now. 
The sound of the window opening and a large body all but crashing inside made me sit up in bed, brow perked in confusion. Bucky was standing in my bedroom now with a concerned gaze. 
“You know for a former assassin, you’re not that quiet when breaking into someone’s apartment,” I stated. 
He shrugged. “I thought about knocking on your door but figured you wouldn’t answer.” 
I nodded. “You thought right. Feel free to leave that way though.”
My back was turned to him as I laid down in bed again, pulling the blanket to my chin. Bucky didn’t need to say anything, his warm presence was still felt behind me. I let out an annoyed groan before turning to face him again and it was then that I took in appearance for the first time. Gray sweatpants and a tight black shirt that hugged every inch of his chest and torso. His metal arm twinkled under the soft glow from the lamp in the corner of my room. 
Even in somewhat darkness, he looked breathtaking. 
“You’re not going to leave, are you?” I questioned. 
When he shook his head, I reluctantly sat up and motioned for him to sit; he hesitated. 
“If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t be inviting you in my bed right now,” I stated. 
Realizing I had a point, he finally relaxed and sat on the edge of my bed. “Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?” 
“You didn’t,” I reassured him with a small smile. “I’ve been dealing with some things lately, that’s all.” 
“Do you want to talk about it?” Bucky suggested. 
I gnawed on my bottom lip, debating whether or not it was a good idea to talk to him about my problems. I didn’t want him to think less of me because of them. 
You know he wouldn’t. 
“I don’t want to keep you,” I began. “Especially if you’ve got company.” 
Bucky immediately shook his head. “That’s over, I promise. You’re the only one that has my attention.” 
My heart soared with his words and the redness that crept from my cheeks to the tips of my ears didn’t go unnoticed by him. I let out a deep breath to gain whatever courage I could and wondered where to start. 
“I, uh, was married.” 
Bucky’s body tensed at my words so I gently laid a hand on his knee. “Was. Not anymore.” 
He relaxed with my touch. 
“My husband, Rick, died about eight years ago. Next month actually,” I admitted. 
His face fell. “I’m sorry.” 
“I’ve done my best to move on, try to create this new life without him. Which is why I moved here. I thought a fresh start would help.” 
“Why did you wait so long to leave?” Bucky asked. 
“My mother in law. We only had each other and I never found the right time to leave. But the grief and questions became too much to bear so I had to stop thinking about how she felt and start taking care of myself.” 
I almost didn't notice Bucky slip his flesh fingers between mine as I continued to tell my story. 
Almost. 
“She was so hell bent on finding the truth on what happened that her accusations pushed me away.” 
“With his death?” Bucky questioned. 
I let out a low sob. “Yeah. He-uh-he was driving drunk one night and crashed his car into a tree.”
My body shook with fresh tears as the memories began replaying like an old movie in the back of my mind, the wounds tearing open once again. 
Bucky had snuck up next to me, wrapping his arms around me to pull me into his chest. I seeped into him, allowing his soft words of comfort to ease my pain. 
“The images of him hanging out of his car haunt me to this day. I can't go to sleep without seeing him, bloody and cold,” I cried into his chest, hands grasping at his shirt. 
He didn’t say anything, he didn't have too. If anyone understood how I felt, it was Bucky. His large hand rubbed circles on my back while I continued to sob, finally letting go for the first time in so long. I didn’t realize how bad I needed someone to just listen to my problems and comfort me, not criticize how I feel or accuse me of keeping secrets about Rick’s death. 
“His mother blames me,” I muttered into Bucky’s chest. 
“Why?” 
I pulled slightly away from him and looked up into his eyes; they were clouded in sorrow. He cupped my cheek and with his metal thumb wiped the tears away, the coolness of it easing the redness caused by my cries. 
“I couldn’t deal with his drinking any longer. It was ruining our marriage so I told him that he  needed to leave and only come back when he was sober. Rick’s mom didn’t want to believe that he had those demons but he did. I held onto him for so long that I couldn’t take care of him any longer.” 
“He got so good at hiding when he was drunk that I had no idea he was that night. Maybe if I had known, he would still be-.” 
“Hey,” Bucky lifted my chin up to meet his gaze. “You cannot blame yourself for his actions, okay? None of what happened is your fault.” 
I wasn’t so sure if he was talking to me or more so himself. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone that knew about The Winter Soldier's past that Bucky had so much trouble not blaming himself for what he did during that time. 
My head pounded from all the crying and I had nothing left in me, emotionally, so all I could do was nod in his grasp. 
“I’m here to help you with whatever you need to get past that guilt, alright?” 
I nodded again. “Thank you, Bucky.” 
He responded by pulling me into his chest once again, allowing me to ease into his comforting touch as he continued to run circles over my back. 
Time had passed, the two of us locked together with my sobs being replaced with constant yawn after yawn. 
Bucky began to pull away. “I’ll let you get some sleep.” 
I squeezed him a bit, not ready to let go. “Few more minutes? I haven't felt this kind of comfort in so long. It’s nice.” 
His lips brushed the top of my head and I melted into him again, my heart beating so hard against my chest I knew not only could he feel it, Bucky could hear it as well. 
“Take all the time you need, doll.” 
My heart fucking soared at the pet name. 
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Our laughter bounced off the walls of the complex as Bucky and I both ascended up the staircase towards home. I had been on my way home from work when I bumped into him one block away, with a bouquet of fresh flowers grasped between his metal fingers. 
“You mentioned that you had a rough day at work so I thought these would make it better.” 
His words from when I questioned him about them brought a smile back to my face. 
Ever since that night last month where I told him about Rick, we had grown incredibly close. He was there for me when the nightmares got bad or I needed someone to talk to; with me also returning the favor. 
Even if he was in therapy to deal with his past, I was still by his side to lend an extra ear and a comforting hold. 
If anyone was to ask what we were, I would tell the truth; friends. 
That love to steal longing glances, the occasional flirty banter, and fingers lingering on one's skin longer than normal. 
“You didn’t have to go out of your way to get me flowers, Buck,” I reiterated my words from earlier. 
He shrugged as we turned the corner of the hallway, our apartments coming into view. 
“Anything to bring a beautiful smile to your face,” he mused while throwing an arm over my shoulder. . 
“Cheeky, aren’t you?” I giggled while patting his chest. 
My feet came to a halt when I saw the lone figure leaning against my door, arms crossed in what appeared to be one thing. 
Anger. 
“Barb, hi. What are you doing here?” I asked, confused. 
She shook her head. “Eight years. Today.” 
My heart dropped. Bucky had been such a good thing in my life lately that I had forgotten Rick’s death anniversary was today. 
“Oh.” I muttered. 
Barb scoffed. “That’s all you have to say? What would Rick have to say about this?”
She motioned towards Bucky who still had his arm around me so he quietly slipped away and tried to leave but I gently grasped his arm to stop him. 
“I can go. I’ll talk to you later,” he suggested. 
While I shook my head, Barb’s demeaning voice spoke again. 
“I think that’s a good idea. She doesn’t need you right now.” 
My eyes snapped over towards her. “Excuse me? What gives you the right to speak to him like that?” 
“Doll, it’s alright.” 
“Doll?!” Barb shrieked. “How long has this been going on? What would Rick think?” 
I shook my head in disbelief. “Nothing because he’s dead Barb. Has been for a long time.” 
“I cannot believe you’ve moved on already. He was your husband for god sakes! He loved you dearly and this is how you repay him? Fucking the first man that touched you.” 
Anger radiated off of me, Bucky noticing the way my breath became erratic so he gently laced our fingers together and nodded towards his door. 
“Come on, let’s get inside.” 
In our many talks I had mentioned a few times about how demeaning and cruel my mother in law could be but I put up with it for years because I was married to her son. The constant belittlement from her had knocked me down to my lowest and now that I was finally starting to feel better about everything thanks to his help, Bucky refused to let me get back to that low. 
I held him back with a shake of my head before giving Barb my attention. “I don’t know why you came here. Like I said on the phone last week, I still don’t have the answers you’re looking for, Barb. Whether you want to believe it or not, your son was an alcoholic and it was his actions that night that killed him. I know it’s not easy to hear but Rick is gone and your quest to find answers to questions that don’t exist isn't going to bring him back.” 
Barb shook her head, looking at me bewildered. “No. There’s a witness that was there that night. They said they saw someone in the road before RIck crashed. He swerved so he wouldn’t hit them. Not the lies you’ve been saying!” 
“I’m not lying about anything!” I snapped, mouth ready to spew hateful things towards her. 
Bucky squeezed my hand as if he could read my mind, knowing what I was about to say. 
I took a deep breath to calm myself, knowing that no matter what I said to her Barb would never change her mind. She could never see her son in such a negative light. 
“I don’t know what else to tell you, Barb. But I know that I can’t keep doing this with you; Rick wouldn’t want this. As much as we loved each other, he wanted me to move on. We talked about it all the time that if something happened to one of us that the other wouldn’t dwell on the heartbreak. He had demons, he tried to drown them with alcohol but they knew how to swim.” 
Tears pricked my eyes. “Rick would want me to be happy, to find love with someone else. He would want the same for you.” 
Without another word, I let Bucky lead me inside of his apartment, ready to finally leave Barb in my past. 
“Are you alright?” Bucky questioned once inside. 
I sat on his couch with a soft groan and nodded. “Yeah, it needed to be said. I hate that it took so long though.”
Bucky trekked around his apartment placing the flowers in a vase then grabbing a beer for him and a glass of water for me. I smiled a thanks as he sat next to me, his hand placed on my knee. “I’m sorry for what she said to you,” I frowned. 
He shrugged. “It's nothing you need to apologize for, doll.” 
With his flesh hand on my knee and the metal one lounged on the top of the couch, his fingers inches from my face, I began tracing the gold lines, mesmerized by the design. Before when I would look or touch it, Bucky would flinch because he was afraid of how I would react to it. 
“I don’t understand how you’re not afraid of it,” Bucky wondered. 
“The way I see it,” I began while linking our fingers together, “This arm was your fresh start. Your old one did all of those horrible things and this one has done so much good, you can’t let the weight of the old one hold you back.” 
A smile pulled wide on his face. “Who needs therapy when that advice is free.” 
I giggled with a wink. “Plus, I come with some extra perks.” 
Bucky smiled smugly with his eyes turning dark. “Care to explain what those perks are?
My lips went dry and I rolled my tongue over them, hoping it would help. The intense gaze I felt from Bucky was enough to lock me into place on his couch with my hands now in my lap clasped together in hopes they stopped shaking with nerves. 
They didn't. 
There was something between us, that wasn’t a question. But what exactly, I wasn’t too sure. We would flirt back and forth and have some small touches here and there but that’s all it was. Neither of us were brave enough to take the next step in this relationship. 
I gnawed on my bottom lip while staring in Bucky’s eyes and I noticed the way his breath caught in his throat, unable to move as I slowly, oh so agonizingly slow, closed the distance between us. Meters from his lips, I hesitated though, my warm breath fanning over his plump lips. This close I could see how pink and full they were, practically begging to be kissed; ravished.
Lips parted and ghosting over each other, I could feel the softness against mine and when I glanced up into his gaze I noticed Bucky’s pupils were blown with desire. 
Fuck it. 
I crashed my lips to his in a slow but firm kiss, testing to see if he wanted this as much as I did. Soon we began to meld together, his hands gripping my hips while mine found his broad shoulders, nails digging slightly. He hissed against my lips, the sensation burning low in my core when he repaid the favor by digging his own nails into the bare skin of my back. 
I nibbled on his bottom lip, begging to taste him, and his tongue slipped between my lips, exploring every inch of my mouth and I groaned when the heat expanded from my core all the way to my head, making me dizzy. 
Our breathing had become ragged with desire, wanting to feel every single inch of each other's bodies. Bucky’s flesh hand tangled in my hair while his metal hand lifted me with ease into his lap, sprawling his fingers over the plump of my ass. My own hands ran down his chest, down his stomach to ghost over the belt of his pants before they snaked underneath his shirt, the skin of his stomach hot with lust. 
“Bucky,” I moaned into his mouth when I felt his hips press into mine. 
The hardness of his cock pressed against the confines of his jeans and a low groan echoed into his mouth when he pressed up against my heated core again. 
Bucky’s lips left mine to start biting and nipping at the skin of my neck while I rutted slowly but firm into him. My hands gripped and pulled at his shirt, yanking it off of his head in a snap. I felt him tense under me as my eyes glazed over where the skin and metal of his arm met, the scars still looked fresh to this day. 
I left soft, pepper-like kisses over each scar, letting him know that it didn't bother me. 
“Bucky,” I breathed his name once again. “I need you.” 
He spewed a few curses into the crook of my neck before finally pulling away, locking our lust blown pupils together. “Are you sure about this?” 
I traced a finger down his cheek and scratched at the stubble on his face. “I’ve never been more sure about anything.” 
That was all he needed before tossing me over his shoulder, and carrying me to his bedroom. 
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The coolness from his metal fingers felt almost orgasmic on hot skin as we laid next to each other in bed, in a post-climax haze. Bucky’s fingers traced my spine from the top to bottom, over and over again, and he would leave light feathery kisses where his fingers missed. 
It had been a couple weeks since our first kiss and we had been spending most of our time in his apartment since he had the bigger bed but tonight he surprised me by sneaking into my window while I was asleep, wrapping me in a warm embrace. 
“For an ex assassin, you’re still not that quiet,” I muttered into his warm chest. 
“I missed you,” he breathed into my hairline. 
We then proceeded to spend the next hour tangled in between one another. 
Our relationship had blossomed in those few days even if we had decided to take things slow, not needing to rush or put a label on it quite yet. Even though we both knew how we felt about one another. 
His soft lips left the skin of my back and found its new mark on my neck, Bucky continuing the mark he began earlier. 
“Bucky, I’m so tired,” I whined, playfully smacking him away. 
With a fake groan of annoyance, he pulled away not before leaving a kiss on my forehead. 
“I’m going to grab a glass of water then I’ll come back to bed.” 
The dark slumber was within my grasp, fingers dancing towards it, so all I could do was nod in response. The bed shifted with the sudden change in weight and I wrapped the blanket around me, allowing the darkness to fully engulf me but only to be yanked from it a short time later by the sound of glass breaking. 
“Babe, you alright?” 
Silence. 
“Bucky?” 
More silence. 
Pulling my brows together with confusion, I quickly dressed myself in Bucky’s shirt that he had worn over here and walked into the main living space of my apartment expecting to see Bucky cleaning up whatever broke. 
However, I only saw the broken glass from a cup and a picture face down on the ground next to my couch. 
“What the-?” I muttered while picking it up. 
My heart sank when I saw what picture it was; Rick and I on our wedding day. 
I mentally smacked myself because I thought I had taken down whatever was left of Rick in my apartment when Bucky and I started seeing each other. It wasn’t fair to him that I still had pictures or mementos of a past love up. 
“Fucking dumbass. No wonder why he left,” I cursed to myself. 
I scurried back into my room and reached for my phone, typing out a message. 
I’m sorry that you saw that picture. I thought I packed everything up. Can you come back so I can make it up to you?
A few minutes went by with no response so I sent another message. 
Or I can come over there if that’s alright. 
A few more minutes went by with no response from Bucky so with an aggravated groan, I tossed my phone onto my bed with myself falling close behind. 
“Way to fucking blow it, Y/N,” I grumbled while running my hands over my face. 
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Two days. Two fucking days Bucky had been ignoring my texts, calls, and persistent knocks to his door. I had been a wave of different emotions the last two days; Anger, confusion, and hurt; mostly hurt. 
I never knew that Bucky had an issue about my past marriage since I talked about it openly with him so much and he helped me heal that part of mind and heart, moving on completely from it; with him. 
The time we spent together was some of the best parts of my life and I would be a fool to say that it meant nothing to me. Bucky had become an important person in my life and the mere thought of losing him forever weighed heavy on my heart. 
A heart that took so long to mend from past heartbreak and loss. A heart that took forever to find that perfect someone to pick up the pieces, make it feel whole; loved. 
I sat up in bed with a start, the blankets falling from my body, when I was slammed with the sudden realization; it hit me so hard I almost fell right back into my bed. 
I was in love with Bucky. 
And I wasn’t going to let him get away. 
Throwing whatever clothes on I could find, I was standing in front of Bucky’s door in less than a minute, knuckles rapidly knocking with no end in sight. 
“Bucky, can you please open the door?” I called through the thick piece of wood. “I really need to talk to you.” 
More knocking followed by more begging. 
“I’m not going anywhere until you let me inside,” I informed him with crossed arms and all of my weight perched on my left foot. 
“Do I have to pull some ex assassin bullshit and sneak in through your window?” 
The door in front of me opened revealing a very tired looking Bucky and I cringed when I remembered that it was almost four a.m. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t even realize what time it was.” I apologized. 
Bucky simply nodded. “It’s alright.” 
He went to shut the door again but I blocked it with an angry hand. “You’re not going to shut me out again. For two fucking days you’ve been ignoring me with no explanation.” 
“Y/N, please-.” 
“No!” I shot. “I don’t know what the hell is going on with you but I don’t deserve to be shut out like this especially after everything we’ve gone through and the things I’ve told you.”
Bucky ran a hand over the subtle on his cheek before nodding, allowing the door to open a bit more with me slipping inside before he could change his mind. I was in such a rush to tell him how I felt that I hadn’t noticed his sleeping attire; a pair of very tight black briefs and his hair was a tousled mess of slumber. 
As breathtaking as he looked, Bucky needed to know how I felt. 
“Did I do something wrong? I know you found that picture of Rick and I.” 
He was quick to dismay my worry. “It wasn’t about the picture.” 
My shoulders raised with confusion. “Then what is bothering you? Is it me, are you over us?” 
“No, doll, trust me.” He hesitated to reach for me. 
“Then tell me why the fuck you’ve been avoiding me?!” I snapped, voice raised in anger. 
“I can’t,” Bucky shook his head, refusing. 
“You’re kidding, right?” I scoffed. 
He was in fact not kidding with the stern face he bore. 
“God, I’m so stupid!” I covered my face with my hands. “I let myself open up to you, let you in my life when I needed someone the most, trusted you with my heart and you ripped it away from me. Right when I started to fall in love with you.” 
Bucky blinked. “Wh-what did you say?” 
Tears pricked my eyes. “I love you, Bucky.” 
“Doll,” he breathed, unsure of what to say next. 
“You don’t feel the same,” I nodded to myself, realizing what his silence meant. “God, I’m such a fucking idiot.” 
Hasty wiping away the tears, I stormed past him only to be stopped by his metal fingers grasping at my wrist, pulling me into his chest. His lips crashed onto mine in a powerful kiss, tongues quickly finding each other in starvation for each others taste. 
We shared many kisses but this one was different; it was the kind that made you fall to your knees with dizziness. 
A good kind of dizzy. 
“I love you too,” he pressed into my lips. 
My heart jumped into my throat as his revelation. “Then why have you been ignoring me?” 
Bucky stepped back slightly and rubbed the back of his neck. “There’s something I need to tell you. I wish I would have told you sooner, it might have saved you.” 
“Save me from what?” 
“Falling in love with me,” he linked our fingers together and set me down on the couch. 
We sat with our knees touching and my heart was hammering so loud in my chest I knew Bucky could hear it. My mind raced a million miles a minute with different thoughts of what he had to tell me. 
“The reason why I left the other night was because when I saw that picture, memories came flooding back, almost over taking me,” Bucky began. 
“Memories? Of what?” I pressed. 
Bucky ran a hand through his hair in clear distress. “I know what happened to Rick.” 
I nodded. “Yeah because I told you. He was driving drunk.” 
He disagreed with me. “He wasn’t drunk that night.” 
I looked at him with confusion. “What are you talking about?” 
With one last deep breath, Bucky fully confessed to his past transgression. 
“Rick wasn’t drunk that night. He was sober and driving to meet with the head of the local Hydra group. I don’t know what Rick told you he did for work but whatever it was was a lie. Rick was hired by SHIELD to take back the super soldier serum I had stolen back in the 90’s.” 
My eyes blinked with disbelief. “You’re lying.” 
“I wish I was, doll. I knew who killed Rick.” 
“Who?” I asked, afraid of knowing the truth. 
Bucky hesitated, breath getting caught in his throat, before he spoke with broken words. “The Winter Soldier. And that was me.” 
His bottom lip trembled the same time his nose scrunched up his disgust for his previous actions. 
My whole world came crashing down from the heavens, falling into large pieces of debris around me. My heart was ringing in my ears that I swore I misheard Bucky. Everything I thought I knew about Rick’s death was a lie? Had Barb been right this whole time?
“No,” I stood to my feet with a start. “You’re fucking with me.” 
Bucky reached for my hand but I snatched it away, a look of hurt flashed across his face. 
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t have a choice,” his broken voice begged me to understand. 
I stopped pacing. “How’d you do it?” 
Bucky refused to answer, only standing to try and get me to stop moving. Anger spilled out of me and I pushed his shoulders to force him back onto the couch. 
“How did you do it?!” I seethed. 
His tongue rolled over his dry lips. “I got in the way of his car so he would have to swerve out of the way. When he crashed, I had to make it look like he was drinking so I injected him with alcohol so it looked like he had been drinking all night.” 
“No,” I sobbed. “This whole time I thought he was at a bar getting fucking wasted and was on his way home when he was actually sober!” 
Bucky flinched but kept his eyes trained at his shaking hands. 
“You fucking left him there to die!” I screamed. “You could have saved him!” 
Bucky was on his feet now, shaking his head rapidly. “It wasn’t me, doll. I swear.” 
“But you still did it!” 
I shoved his chest, hard, and he stumbled back a bit but kept his stance. 
“I wish I never did, Y/N. If I could take back everything I did when I was The Winter Soldier, I would; you know that,” he begged me to listen. 
Sobs plowed through my body causing me to shake and fall to my knees with the truth of what happened that night. The man that I found myself falling in love with had killed my husband. How do you get past that? 
But it wasn’t him. He had no choice.
I screamed at the voice in my mind, telling it to shut up. 
“Doll,” Bucky knelt down to reach for me. 
My fist collided with his cheek knocking him onto his ass and rage took over my vision as I straddled his hips, landing blow after blow to whatever part of flesh I could hit; face, head, neck, chest, stomach, and flesh arm. 
Bucky never stopped me, allowed me to hurt him; try to anyway. The super soldier serum that flowed through his blood every day made it so it felt like he was getting slapped by the wind. 
“Fuck you, Barnes! I hate you!,” I bellowed while going to attack his metal arm. 
In a swift movement, I was now being straddled by Bucky who had both of my hands pinned above my head with his metal fingers gripped tight. Tears fell from his eyes onto the skin of my neck and his chest rose and fell with deep breaths. 
“You don’t mean that.” 
I writhed in his grasp, trying to break free. “I do! You’re a monster, I hate you!” 
When the words left my lips, I immediately regretted them. I knew that he wasn’t a monster, I was only angry at his revelation. I never meant to call him that. Whatever anger I had spilled out of my body through the floor beneath me and I tried to break free once again from Bucky, to reach for him. 
“I didn’t mean it,” I cried. 
He nodded before pulling me into his chest, arms now wrapped around me. He hushed my cries with whispers of sorrow and promised to make it right; make everything right with me and us again. 
“I love you, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” 
My hands clutched at the muscles of his back, my own words being muffled by his chest. 
How could anything be right with us again with me now knowing the truth? Nothing would ever be the same. 
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jezzzebel ¡ 3 days ago
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A short critique on the (Tumblr) Hellenic Polytheism community
Disclaimer: This is just my opinion / criticism and isn't meant to offend anyone, but rather bring awareness to help build a stronger and more respected community. I am not necessarily a hellenic polytheist , i occasionally worship / honor greek gods. Please be civil in the comments and have common sense. Love yall!!!
Criticism on assumptions and entitlement
I don't like it when people just assume you are a hellenic polytheist on here when you just... Use the #pagan . And this isn't just the case with me. Idk if it's just the prevalence of helpols on Tumblr compared to slavic , roman, celtic.. norse.. other pagan religions.
But that isn't a call to make everything about you.
In the nicest way possible.
I remember making a post about something that is witchcraft related. Then just now i saw a post of a very well known and loved paganism blog quote my post word for word and applying why it's incorrect when it's related to hellenic polytheism.
I haven't used the #helpol in my post. The post was related to deity work in modern day witchcraft. And yet that person decided to , without confrontation in my reblogs and comments, decided to make a post quoting my post most likely because they were afraid of my reaction or starting a drama.
Which is just.?? Weird to me??
If you have something to say to me, we can easily talk about it and i would have explained to you that my post wasn't necessarily about hellenic polytheism... YET like this IT WOULD BE AWKWARD.
I am tired of people assuming that hellenic polytheism is the "main" pagan religion while others are ""exotic birds" ☹️ who can hardly be found.
We are here.
Proper tagging and roman polytheism
I can't be the only one who is annoyed by improper tagging of #helpol content with #roman polytheist content. Fine ,i am guilty of improper tagging as well, WHEN I WAS NEW TO THE APP of course. But why , just why would you tag a post about Zeus with rompol hashtag.
THEY ARE NOT THE SAME DEITIES.
I am sure you wouldn't like it if i tagged content of goddess Vesna as #persephone
It's annoying trying to look for roman polytheism content and seeing the names of greek gods with "roman names" in brackets.
Roman religion IS NOT a copy of greek religion. Pleaseeeee don't make the same mistakes as me and TAG PROPERLY.
Drama and judging others
Fineeee. My last post WAS targeted TOWARDS 5+ posts i have seen today, judging others, and thinking they know everything about someone's practice by just looking at their posts.
What's similar to all those five plus number of posts i have seen JUST TODAY? They were all helpol...
I am not trying to generalize. Of course, gods forbid. There are many amazing hellenic polytheists on Tumblr who understand that not everything you see on internet is how it seems.
Why do you think that it is ABSOLUTELY OKAY to insult others and causing drama just because their practice is different than yours?
And I don't mean "disrespectful different" i mean "unconventional different".
This is prevalent in other pagan communities too, but I could not help but notice the greek gods' names being mentioned the most. It's just sad.
It's just January, January 20th as i am posting this and i have already seen so much drama posts. Do better.
Ignoring ethnic greek voices
This one is self explanatory
Erasing the cultural part in the name of eclecticism
This. This annoys me so much. It's sad. You can't just cut out a part of a cultural religious tradition because you don't like it. And don't twist my words. I REALLY mean " don't like it" or "don't resonate with it"
For more info on what i mean, check out my post on the guest metaphor and open practices.
Myth literalism and demonizing deities
Sorry but yall are guilty of this and it's sadddd 😭
"Zeus is an awful deity because of his myths"
Here are some other myths that make other deities look bad , so you shouldn't worship them: Hera, Artemis, Aphrodite, Poseidon, Athena...
/satire
CONSTANT walking on eggshells and twisting others' words.
I feel like i am constantly walking on thin ice when interacting with the helpol community. It seems like people would rather find a needle in a pile of hay bales than listening to what people have to say.
And i know people will do so with this post.
It's almost like they will try and look for your smallest mistakes and errors to call you out and make a point.
How do we fix this?
A community can never be 100% toxicity free. There will always be bad apples out there. But what we should do is strive to make the community a better and more welcoming place for people. One person can do a lot more than you think they can. YOU can achieve a lot more for the community than you think you can.
If you even read this far. Thank you.
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uvobreakmylegs ¡ 3 months ago
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favorite fic? of yours and in general
I don't feel like picking and choosing between my own fics so instead I wanna share some fics written by my fellow yandere writers (some of which I may have shared in similar asks in the past but idc I wanna share them again):
from @hypnoswrites:
Chrollo vs a blacklist Hunter (I really enjoy how fast and how easily Chrollo was able to handle that situation, from cleaning up the body to controlling reader)
Illumi uses a needle on reader (love the way poor reader's mind is addled in this one and how easily she disregards the violent scene due to Illumi's influence. love the ending as well, it's so chilling)
Uvogin x reader x Franklin (two big men - my greatest weakness❤️❤️❤️)
vampire Razor (idk how to summarize this one accurately there's so much going on and I love it all so much)
apocalypse AU with Pakunoda (Paku my beloved❤️❤️❤️)
from @ddarker-dreams:
Chrollo's birthday (love me some Greedy Chrollo)
third party recognizes reader while she's out with Chrollo (poor reader tried SO hard to keep the guy away AND keep Chrollo appeased😭)
aftermath of Chrollo's darling being kidnapped (all of the conversations that Lock's readers have with Chrollo are always great to read but this one in particular sticks out in my mind and I love it)
Feitan's darling runs away (THAT FUCKING ENDING OMG)
Scaramouche's darling distracts him (I know next to nothing about Genshin Impact but I really enjoyed this fic❤️❤️❤️)
from @cherrysha:
ABO Uvogin (this fic lives in my head rent free)
Uvo's darling has a nightmare (there's something scary about how Uvo is so violent in trying to find her and how it contrasts with how gentle he is after. the anxiety she feels from her nightmare which then turns into comfort when he has her in his arms)
reader tries to kill Hisoka (poor reader😭)
god AU with Franklin (I love love love the buildup to Franklin's true reveal in this fic. how Franklin's presence is there within the temple once reader visits, but it's only when she finally collects the proper materials that he appears for real before her. plus the addition of reader possibly being in danger if she fails at the task he's set for her. there's a lot of buildup and dread in this fic and I love it)
Meleoron x reader (this fic is just cute as hell and I need to share it)
from @after-witch:
Feitan saves reader after she's been kidnapped (I've definitely shared this one before but that isn't stopping me from sharing it again bc this fic is amazing from beginning to end❤️❤️❤️)
one night stand with Feitan (I just love the way reader and Feitan end up connecting and how reader being herself is enough to make Feitan decide that he wants to keep her)
vampire Chrollo x reader (this is another fic that has so much going on that it's hard to get all of my thoughts on it out. it's just such a fun read and I love The Lost Boys vibes)
Chrollo's patience runs out (just Bastard Chrollo at his finest)
Uvogin retrieves his darling (in these kind of fics you just KNOW that Uvo will be getting his darling after they run, but it's always a wonder as to how that happens and what Uvo's reaction will be)
from @absolute-flaming-trash:
Hisoka buys his darling a gift (using bungee gum as a LEASH omg)
Hisoka looking for his soulmate (I really liked this version of the 30 seconds soulmate au❤️❤️❤️ it was interesting plus it offered more opportunities for reader to annoy Hisoka lol)
Chrollo and kidnapped reader (poor reader😭)
Illumi punishes reader (😳😳😳)
Mahito asking about love (anything with Mahito is generally fucked up due to him being.... himself. but this one had some moments that were kinda cute. like the description of Mahito laying on the bed reading a magazine, or the way he's described looking at reader. but all it takes is for one word and the mood feels dangerous again. also it's currently raining rn so reading this fic feels appropriate)
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onesnoopyaday ¡ 23 days ago
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I AM AT MY LIMIT
Snoopy #90
30/12/2024
description under the cut
[description: a cartoon-style drawing of Snoopy's head. Snoopy is a white dog with black ears. His eyes are shut and his mouth is a horizontal line. There are two large blue teardrops, one under each eye. The text "I am at my limit" is handwritten across the top of the image.]
#peanuts#snoopy#art#90#based on that emoji face meme but i can't find the original ANYWHERE#at least not the entire image unedited. other than on like redbubble listings but i don't want to link those haha#if someone has a link to it please send it to me!! so i can link it in the post. thanks :)#also i have decided to start doing descriptions for each image (which i have been meaning to do for a while)#now that people actually follow this blog and interact with it and stuff#tbh i should've started doing them a long time ago#but the idea of retroactively going back to every post and adding a description kept putting me off... which is silly because it's only#gonna become more work the longer i leave it. so you know. just gotta start doing it#i will endeavour to add a description to all the previous snoopys of the day soon 🤞#anyway i made this because i sent a friend the original emoji image (taken from a redbubble screenshot LOL)#because we have been trying to book a place to stay for a group trip (6 people)#and like i did all the research and made a list to start us off (while letting people know they could add to the list) and sent that around#and made a poll for people to vote for their preferred place#and some people in the group have been taking FOREVER to respond with their opinions about accommodation#like to the point where all the other good places on the list have been booked up now and there is just one left#which luckily is the one with the most votes#and today i was like (about to book that one) ok well before i book i'm just checking that everyone is ok with these dates?#and some of them were like ohhh actually no. we haven't booked our flights yet so we're not sure which days exactly we'll be there#WHAT DO YOU MEAN!#in fairness i should've checked that we were all on the same page about dates beforehand#but like. the trip is literally in like 5 weeks AND during a public holiday like omfggggggg everywhere is gonna be booked out#do you know how hard it is to find accommodation for 6 people#and i don't even know the people who haven't been responding/haven't booked their flights/whatever#they're friends of a friend (who will also be coming on the trip) and i know nothing about them#i think i would be a lot less annoyed if it was just my friends because we would've just hopped on a call and sorted everything out in like#one night. otherwise we know + trust each other enough to make decisions for each other if we can't/don't want to be involved in planning
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housederiva ¡ 9 days ago
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Your art is FANTASTIC and the random observations/polls/interjections you make have really helped to fuel the DA fandom in positive ways! Which it definitely needed after Veilguard's release, lmao. It's always a pleasure to see you on my dashboard!
That's very kind of you to say oh my gosh thank you so much. I'm just bumbling around and every once in a while I say something people think is worth sharing, and I like sharing what other folks feel/make too! I'm glad I'm a not too much of an annoyance xx
I think my favorite thing about having this blog is the notes I see on other peoples posts I rb, it’s nice seeing all sweet things get things sent an artist way or conversations/theories carried on in a rb chain
It’s a big ol show n tell and it’s a wonderful reprieve from my normal day to be able to see other folks stuff too ✨
#I have a bunch of asks turned peanut gallery thoughts i haven't answered sorry guys i've been a workin...whatever i am#and ask asks too... oh no ahhh#asks for bee#thoughts from the peanut gallery#It's a very beautiful sandwich I just wish it had more meat instead of lettuce if that makes any sense?#and there's nothing wrong with being disappointed with what shipped#i dont think you should put something you love so high up on a pedistool that the flaws can't be seen anymore...#but going out of your way to be an ass to someone isn't my gig so i'm happy folks that follow this blog feel that same way#I want this to be a little safe space that's not just entirely one point of view#and I'm really lucky that I have so many people following this blog that are kind to each other in the notes when i rb something that isn't#-a shared feeling with everyone#its really cool that for the most part folks are respectful to one another in my tags/comments#like i wouldn't been able to ask for the Anders vibe check this time a year ago without folks being mean to eachother#oooo i hope i don't jinx it#ah im rambling again!#thank you for the kind words!!!#this blog has grown so much since MELE and Veilguard#its sweet xx#(I’m of course not without fault and had my share of asshole moments but I’m trying not to let my anger be the strongest part of me)#I know I can be snippy but if I was truly irked by someone I would just block them and move on#and I hope that’s what folks to do with me too#i’m sorry I don’t respond to your asks super fast all the time but my inbox is always open for pretty much whatever#…just not any more dreams about varrics feet please?#I’m still rambling ahhhh!!!#you can really tell I’m snuggled up and about to fall asleep huh whoopsy!#thank you for the chill tumblr space everyone! That’s all I was trying to say!!
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shithowdy ¡ 3 months ago
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this is your periodic reminder that for all the artifacts and errors and "tells" one could possibly list, the only reliable way to actually determine if an image is ai generated is to investigate the source. it is becoming increasingly common for "fake classical paintings" to circulate around curative aesthetic blogs, and everyone should be using this as an opportunity to not only exercise their investigative skills but also appreciate art more in general. you're all checking out the artists you reblog, right? 🫣
so what are some signs to look for? let's use this very good example.
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what a lovely late-impressionist piece blended with evocative leyendecker-esque themes! why haven't you ever heard of this artist before? surely tumblr would be all over an artist like this. who is justin brown?
your two options from here are to do a search for the name, or a reverse image search. i prefer reverse image searching, particularly when it comes to a common name like "justin brown". so what does that net?
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Immediately, without looking at any text, something is wrong: it barely exists. an actual historical piece would turn up numerous results from websites individually discussing the piece, but no such discussions are taking place. Looking at the text, though, does show the source-- and at least in this case, the creator was honest about their medium.
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But let's also look at the "exact matches", in case a source doesn't make itself apparent in the initial sidebar results like this.
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This section will often tell you post dates of images, and here it can be seen that the very first iteration of the image was posted 15 days ago. It did not exist online prior to that.
Seeing how long an unsourced image has been floating around is a skill applicable to more than just generative images! See a cool image of an artifact or other intriguing item with a vivid caption? Reverse search it! If all the results are paired with that caption and only go back a few months, you might just have viral facebook spam.
Sometimes generative creators are dishonest about their medium and do not tag it like in the example, so that's when establishing "jpeg provenance" becomes important. While it can be a little trickier to determine if someone is using generative images and not admitting to it if they aren't trying to pass it off as a classic, something to consider is the age of their account and the frequency with which they post. Here are some account red flags:
-Did they only start posting art after 2022, or if they did before, did their style/skill level WILDLY change? Not gradual improvement-- I'm talking amateur graphite portraits straight into complex digital renders. Everyone starts somewhere, newness is not a red flag alone; it's newness combined with existing in a vacuum away from any community.
-Do they post fully-finished paintings several times a week? -Do many of these paintings seem iterative of a similar theme or subject matter ("three well-dressed young men face each other under shade and dappled sunlight")?
-Does their style change in inconsistent ways? An artist that can swap between painting like Drew Struzan and Hokusai should be pretty well known, right? Why is no one hyping this guy?!
-Do they have social media besides the source instagram? If so, what are they posting about? Are there any WIPs? Doodles? Interactions with other artists? Gallery dates? 3am self-doubt posts? Or is it all self-promo? Crypto? Seemingly nothing art-related at all for someone pushing out 3 weekly paintings?
Basically, if it's important to you to omit this stuff when you curate, please don't just smash reblog if the source doesn't seem to be the OP themselves. Seeking out sources was important even before this became an issue, now it is more than ever.
peace n love
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nanaslutt ¡ 4 months ago
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stuck in the dryer w/ perv!Geto
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ʚ cont: fem reader, rough sex, multiple orgasms, oral, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talkkk!!
ʚ note: welcome back perv geto, we have missed u (gramarly spell checked this for me but i didn’t proof read it so possible grammar mistakes below)
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ ࿔
"Fuck, Suguru!" You yelled, the sound echoing around from where you were stuck inside the dryer. Somehow, when trying to get the last towel out of the dryer, your hair got caught on the inside of the dryer and you couldn't for the life of you get it out. Your abdomen was starting to cramp from holding yourself up while you were bent over in the dryer on your knees while you desperately yanked on your hair trying to get it unstuck.
When you heard his footsteps get closer, echoing the floorboards you sighed a little in relief. You tried to tilt your hair down to look at him between your legs, but your hair was too tied up and wouldn't allow for much movement. "What the hell am I looking at?" Suguru laughed. You couldn't help but notice he stopped walking, he just stood by the door and watched you wiggle your ass while you tried to free yourself.
"My fucking hair got stuck when I was getting your laundry," you yelled, "please help me get it out." Your only response was a laugh before he started walking again, closing the distance between you. "So you're stuck in the dryer then?" He responded, crouching down behind you on his feet. He placed his elbows on his knees and tilted his head at you from behind, mesmerized by your ass.
You obviously knew what it looked and sounded like, you weren't born yesterday. "Yeah, haha, so funny, I'm stuck in the dryer. "With your ass out." He added unhelpfully. "With my ass out."
"You know," he started, his large hand rubbing over your ass making you flinch before you relaxed again, "I could do some pretty bad things with you at my mercy like this," You sighed when he started massaging your ass with his hands in a circular motion, his thumbs dangerously close to where you now ached. "Don't even think about it, perv, it's starting to get hot in here, help me out." You couldn't help yourself from wiggling back into him when you attempted to pull your hair out again, the action only making him grope you with more effort.
"Yeah? Want me to help you out?" He responded, his tone so cocky you just knew he had a stupid smirk on his face. You were about to retort when he rubbed the pad of his thumb expertly against your clit through your shorts. "Suguru," you whimpered in a pathetic effort to get him to stop, the sound coming out more pathetic rather than serious.
"What baby?" He asked, the sound of his zipper moving making you clench your thighs in anticipation. "Thought you said you wanted help?" He chided, removing his thumb from your clit to grasp the band of your shorts. He slowly slid them down your ass, his lips making a smacking noise when he kissed the skin of your behind as he did. You poked the inside of your cheek with your tongue and suppressed a smile. This whole situation was so fucking cliche.
"I've thought about you like this, you know," Geto said, the sound of his hand moving over something long and thick making your mouth water. You would recognize the sound of him jerking off from anywhere. And by the sounds of it, his tip was already leaking so much from how wet it sounded. "You watch too much porn," you responded, rolling your eyes. Geto reached for your ass with one hand and spread you open, exposing your pussy more for him before he landed a wad of spit against your opening. "Haven't watched any since I got with you."
You gasped and gripped the opening of the dryer when he rubbed his spit and your combined wetness around. "You sure you wanted help getting out of here? Because you're so fucking wet right now, it's like you wanted me to fuck you when you're stuck like this," He laughed, pressing his tip against your entrance before relenting the pressure. He did that teasing movement over and over again, making your hole clench in anticipation only for him to pull away and leave you hanging.
"Jesus christ, if you're gonna fuck me then-" your words were cut off with a scream when he slammed his entire cock inside you all at once. The burn was barely recognizable when he immediately started up a brutal pace, "what was that?" he laughed through a groan. If your hair hadn't been stuck, you would've smacked your head agaisnt the inside of the dryer from how hard he was pounding you.
"Oh fuck, you're squeezing me so fighting tight, h-holy fuck baby," Geto groaned, gripping your waist in his large hands and pulling you back to meet his thrusts. All you could do was whine and take it as his fat tip abused your gspot repeatedly with expert precision. "Taking it so well, my cock was m-made for you." He must have really been enjoying himself, because you could feel him drip inside you, making the squelching noises between you louder and louder.
You pressed your thighs together to bring your clit some stimulation to deal with the onslaught of pressure he was giving the inside of your pussy. You crossed one ankle over the other and your shins kicked up between his legs uncontrollably from how hard he was giving it to you. "Do you like this? You want this?" He groaned, reaching his hand around your body to find your clit and rub it in fast circles. You nodded, knowing he couldn't hear you, but you hoped your loud whines were enough for him.
You thought you upset him when he pulled out completely with a grunt, but you almost cried when you felt his tongue breach the ring of your cunt. "F-fuck, fuck Suguru!" You cried, reaching one of your hands behind you to tangle your hand in his gorgeous dark hair to keep him pressed agaisnt you. He continued rubbing your clit in little circles as he ate you out like a man starved. His lips were moving on your cunt like he was making out with it, and fuck did it send shivers down your spine.
"Almost- almost came," he moaned between licks, his voice muffled by your cunt as he could barely pull himself away to talk, "Almost filled you up in under a minute, that's what you fucking do to me, oh yes pretty yes- squeeze my tongue-" You squeezed your eyes tight, his words only tightening that ball of pleasure in your stomach more and more. You couldn't believe how into this he was, it was like he was possessed.
Geto started rubbing his fingers back and forth over your clit at an inhumane pace, making you scream out in pleasure. "Uh huh- uh- mmm- fuck- fucking give it to me," He gripped your hip so hard with his other hand you knew for sure it was going to bruise. Your legs shook as you felt the first wave of your orgasm crash over you. Wetness dripped between your legs and into his greedy mouth that was groaning against your cunt, some of it falling on the floor, but you didn't have time to think about how he just made you fucking squirt when he pulled his tongue away from you and slammed his cock back inside.
"Oh, you're so fucking soft inside now," He grit through his teeth, his fingers never relenting against your clit. You could barely breathe between screams as he pounded into you and gave you no time to recover from your orgasm before he was quickly sending you headfirst into another one. "S-suguruuu," you wined brainlessly, your chest hitting the opening of the dryer repeatedly as he manhandled your body back and forth each time he sheathed his cock inside you.
"I know princess I know, gonna come all over me again? Gonna squirt on my cock this time while I fill you up? You want that?" He was rambling, a tell that he was close, but you also knew that from how reckless his thrusts were getting. "Y-yeah, yes Sugu give it to me," your words were slurred but he understood the message well enough.
"Yeah you're gonna take it while you're stuck in there, gonna make sure you don't w-waist a single drop," He groaned, rubbing your clit in messy circles. His moans and groans turned into gasps and higher-pitched sounds as he was brought toward the edge. You could picture his head tipped back with his jawline shown off for you. His eyes would be twitching behind his eyelids as he was unable to open them from how much pleasure he was feeling. He looked absolutely beautiful in your mind's eye.
His hips stuttered and his fingers tightened against your hips at the same time you came around him. Geto whimpered when you squirted all over him just like he wanted you to. "H-ah s-so fucking good to me, s-o so good so good," He moaned over and over before he stilled with a loud whine. His moans cut off with a gasp before you felt the first rope of his seed fill you up and he groaned again with it. His body shook and jolted behind you with the force of his orgasm. He was stuffing you so full and all you could do was grip onto the side of the dryer and take it while he ruined your pussy and filled you to the absolute brim.
You started to come from your high, remnants of your own orgasm dripped from your cunt and slid down your thigs adding to the mess on the floor. Geto curled his body over yours and stuck his head in the dryer with you, his soft hair cascading around your shoulders. Your back and abs ached with the effort it took to not let your head dangle how you wanted, and you gasped as you turned your head to the side to look at him through hooded eyes.
There was a dopey, handsome smile on his face as he looked at you. You could still see your wetness smeared all across his cheeks from how messy he had eaten you. "Hey," he said, rolling his hips inside you to stuff you full. You gasped and your eyes rolled back as he pushed his softening cock against your overstimulated gspot. "Don't roll your eyes like that unless you wanna get fucked again, pretty princess," he teased, leaning forward to press a kiss against the tip of your nose.
You sighed and struggled to catch your breath. It was hot enough inside the dryer without his lungs hogging up all the oxygen too. "Get me out of here and if you say please I'll consider it, you fucking pervert," your words held no malice, and they made Geto laugh before he slid out and reached for your hair that was pinched in the dryer. "I'm a reallyy good boy when it comes to begging to fuck your pussy. Give me a couple minutes and I'll be good to go."
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taeyongdoyoung ¡ 5 months ago
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hide and seek
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summary: your best friend chan finds you've been fantasizing about him and decides to turn those ideas into reality... pairing: chan x reader genre: smut, best friends to ??? warnings: *cracks knuckles* cnc/primal play, wolf/bunny roleplay, mention of safewords, traffic lights system (yellow used), hide and seek, mentions of pee, chasing scenario, blowjob mouthfucking, hair-grabbing, degradation, leg cramping, knees hurting, kinda realistic, unprotected sex, missionary but he holds reader down, pet names, daddy kink (like once), breeding kink, creampie, aftercare, discussion of future scenario 👀 author's note: this will be the first part in a series, i haven't decided yet how many parts, maybe three? stay tuned if you're interested 🤍 part two & part three word count: 2.5k
Chan simply asks you if he can use your laptop while you’re having a shower since his battery died and he really needs to check something work-related real quick. After doing so, he can’t help but notice the recently opened pages. He doesn’t mean to pry, really. But it’s right there. And a quick look into his best friend’s mind couldn’t hurt…could it?
He is immediately captivated by this story you’ve apparently written and keep hidden in the drafts of your blog. It’s so…sexy and unlike anything you’ve ever talked to him about.
“Dumb little bunny, thinking you can get away from me,” the big bad wolf growls in the bunny’s ear.
The bunny whimpers helplessly, trying to escape the wolf’s strong grasp but to no avail.
The wolf takes the bunny from behind mercilessly, biting her neck and using her to please his needs...
What comes at the end of the story is what shocks him the most.
“Chris, please…”
Huh? Which Chris? Chris Evans? Or maybe Hemsworth? As far as he remembers, you have always been more of a Sebastian Stan and Tom Hiddleston kinda girl but…people change, he supposes.
Until it hit him. His name is also Chris! And people do compare him to a wolf…But no, it couldn’t be…There is no way his best friend is writing stories fantasizing about him.
Unless…
He can’t imagine going on with his life without knowing the answer. So, Chan waits impatiently until you are done with your shower.
“Everything good with your work thing?” you ask him calmly once you return to your room.
“Yeah, all is good. But I found something way more interesting on your laptop,” Chan blurts out meaningfully.
The expression on your face is enough of an answer. You look completely mortified, like a true bunny that is waiting to be devoured.
“I forgot to clear my history, didn’t I?” you murmur even though you already know what Chan has seen.
“That story wasn’t about Chris Evans, was it?” Chan wants to know though he suspects what the truth is.
You immediately drop to your knees in front of him, which takes him by surprise. Gripping his hand tightly, you look so cute and pitiful. He wants to ruin you. Wait, when did those feelings show up?
“I know it was wrong, Channie, believe me. But I just couldn’t help myself, okay? Nothing else helps me get off but this fantasy. I promise I won’t do it again, please don’t end our friendship! You mean the world to me, I’m so so sorry!”
“End our friendship?” he is completely stunned by your train of thought. “Why would I? I mean, you never meant for me to see it, so I think it’s okay to have certain…fantasies. But now that I did see it, I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“We don’t have to talk about it, if it makes you uncomfortable,” you suggest.
“You’re right, we don’t have to talk about it. But how about I make those scenarios come to life?”
“Huh? You want to what now?” you can’t believe what you’re hearing.
“It can’t be satisfying, dealing with all these frustrations by yourself.”
“It really isn’t…” you confess.
“Then, let me take care of you. That’s what friends are for, right?” Chan chuckles.
“Let me get this straight, you wanna re-enact my freaky fantasies while still staying friends?”
“Um, sure, why not?”
You would be a fool to agree. This could mess up everything. But you would be an even bigger fool to reject his tempting offer.
“I’m in.”
“Great! Then, should we discuss boundaries and safewords and stuff?”
“No boundaries, no safewords, you can do whatever you like to me, I don’t care.”
“This isn’t right. What if I want to use a safeword?”
Oh. That thought never crossed your mind but perhaps it should have.
“How about this…if I want a scene to end, I’ll say red. I know you said you don’t need one, but just in case, feel free to use it. If we want to just pause for a bit, then yellow. Green is good to go. Am I clear?”
“Yes, sir. I mean, Chan. I mean, uhhh…do you want me call you something specific?”
“Whatever you like, babygirl,” he reassures you and pats your cheek. “Do you want to give this a try rightaway? Unless you’ve got other plans…”
“No way, let’s do this!” you practically jump at the opportunity.
“Alright. I’ll give you one minute to hide anywhere in this house. After that, I can do whatever I like to you.”
His words make you so thrilled that your heart threatens to escape from your chest because it’s beating louder than ever.
“If you find me,” you tease.
“Oh, I will,” Chan swears. “Now, run.”
You sprint out of your room and down the stairs, as he starts the countdown.
“Sixty…fifty-nine…”
Where should you hide? The living room doesn’t have any good hiding spots and neither does the kitchen. Under the table is too obvious. Your room would have been a good option but Chan is currently there, so it’s out of the question. The bathroom is right next to it, so once again, not a great idea. Then, it hits you. The basement! You don’t remember ever showing it to Chan so it will take him more time to think of it. You go through the door and run down another set of stairs leading to the basement. You see the perfect spot. A vintage wooden chest that just happens to be empty and is big enough to fit you if you squeeze in.
Okay, maybe not comfortable but you can survive in there for a couple of minutes. Once you’ve tucked yourself inside and closed the lid, you are suddenly hoping that Chan finds you quickly. Whatever he does to you can’t be worse than this tiny space. You didn’t know you had claustrophobia but in this very moment, you do. You can’t hear him from down here so you imagine he is looking through the other rooms first. After what feels like eternity, you finally hear steps. You are grateful that you recently peed before getting in the shower because the current situation would have undoubtedly made you wet your pants. As the steps approach, you begin to worry. What if it isn’t Chan? What if you’d forgotten to lock the door and now a complete stranger comes in to take advantage of you? No, these thoughts are irrational and make you want to use the bathroom. Ugh.
“I’ll give you ten seconds to come out and I’ll go easy on you.”
Chan’s voice both comforts you and freaks you out even more. You’re not coming out, alright. This spot was great! He can do whatever he wants to you.
“Three…two…one,” Chan finishes counting and opens the chest’s lid.
You look up at him, eyes blinking to adjust to the light. He pulls you out of it roughly.
“Last chance. Run.”
But then, you realize you were squeezed into that tiny space for so long that your leg had cramped up. You can’t possibly run right now.
“Um, sorry but yellow,” you feel like an idiot. You had said you don’t need a safeword and yet…
“What’s wrong?” Chan’s threatening gaze immediately softens and he rubs your elbow gently.
“I didn’t think I’d get a leg cramp in this freaking box,” you admit, ashamed of yourself as you shake your legs in an attempt to relax muscles.
“Oh, sweetheart,” Chan coos at you and helps you massage your leg. “Wanna call it a day?”
“Hell nah. Just, no more running, please.”
“Sure, that’s fine by me.”
“Sorry for ruining the mood.”
Chan shakes his head.
“You could never.”
“Okay, I think I’m good now,” you assure him.
“Scene?”
“Scene.”
“Did you really think you can escape me? Dumb little bunny…” Chan tsks at you and you feel your knees giving out. You need him so bad it’s not even funny anymore.
“Please, don’t hurt me, Mr. Wolf,” you plead with him even though every cell in your being would be glad to be on the receiving end of his anger.
“Oh, but where’s the fun in that? You should’ve locked your door to keep me out.”
If you tell him that you want him inside would it be too out of character for a scared bunny?
“I’ll do anything,” you promise crying. “I won’t tell a soul.”
“You’ll do anything regardless,” Chan smirks devilishly and grabs your hair harshly, pushing you to your knees. With his free hand, he unbuttons and unzips his jeans, wasting no time in pulling his cock out of his confines and stuffing your mouth full.
Fuck, your knees already hurt, probably because of that stupid chest but you choose to ignore the discomfort for now because this feeling of being dominated like that is too good to let go of.
“That’s it, take it like the useless cumslut you are,” Chan speaks degradingly but you’ve never been wetter before.
You wish you could say you are doing your best to give him a blowjob but the truth is you are not doing much, his hips thrusting forward aggressively, his hands gripping your hair. Your mouth is nothing but a cumdump for him. Your eyes are watering, vision is blurred. Your throat hurts too but it is nothing compared to the burning feeling in your knee. It is in that moment you realize that you didn’t discuss a signal for a situation where you can’t speak. You rack your brain for an alternative and remember that some subs opt for pinching their dom’s skin in an attempt to communicate discomfort. You really don’t want this to end but…
As you are overthinking this, you realize Chan’s already released his seed inside of your mouth and you are left with no choice but to swallow it up like the greedy cumwhore you are. Only for him, though.
His cock softens in his mouth but he doesn’t immediately pull out and only then, do you remember what you’ve been about to do.
You pinch his thigh lightly, looking up with moist, pleading eyes.
“What is it, darling?” Chan needs to know, taking a step back.
“Help me stand, please,” your voice is hoarse.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks as he grips your hands and leads you to sit for a while on the stupid chest responsible for your current pain. Okay, maybe, you brought this upon yourself but whatever.
“No, you were perfect, it’s just that my knees hurt. Fucking dumb wooden thing,” you grunt in frustration, punching it with your tiny fist.
Chan chuckles and strokes your hair comfortingly in complete contrast to how he was pulling it mere seconds ago. Then, he pulls you into his arms for a sweet hug.
“Sorry…I’m killing the mood again, aren’t I?” you pout.
“Not at all. Remember you’re in charge of whatever happens between us. You wanna pause, we pause. You wanna stop, we stop. I would hate myself if this doesn’t feel as good for you as it does for me.
“You feel good?”
“Are you kidding? Do you think I’d offer just anyone to fulfil their fantasies hidden in their drafts?” Chan laughs fondly.
“I’m glad you think so,” you smile at him gratefully. “I’m better now so if you’re still on board, we can continue.”
“I’m on board but let me come up with a new plan. I was thinking of fucking you doggy style but now that’s out of the question with your knee situation.”
Hearing him speak out loud what he was planning to do to you sends shivers down your spine. Damn it, maybe you should have just hidden under the table.
“How do you feel about missionary?” Chan inquires.
“Wouldn’t it be too intimate for the kind of scenario we’re doing?” you are doubtful.
“Not if I hold you down,” Chan murmurs smugly.
“Oh. Well, then…like I said, you can do whatever you like.”
“Action?”
“Action,” you confirm.
Chan wastes no time in pulling you up from your sitting position and pushing you down on the cold floor. He’s holding your wrists with one hand and undressing you with the other. Scratch that. He’s tearing your dress apart. It was never one of your faves.
“W-what are you d-doing?” you mewl at him.
“Shut the fuck up,” Chan commands.
He doesn’t bother with stretching you out because he sees you’re already soaking wet for him. Instead, he forces his thick cock inside of your tiny pussy.
Only this time, your screams are real and you’re not at all pretending.
“T-too b-big, it h-hurts,” you cry out.
“You can take it, bunny,” Chan says confidently.
You know that you can put an end to this with one simple word but damn, does it feel incredible to be stuffed full by your best friend’s large manhood.
“Shh,” he whispers in your ear. “This’ll feel so much better if you relax f’me.”
You’re trying, really. But it’s too much you feel like he’ll split you in half. Okay, maybe not a bad way to go but still.
“D-daddy, it h-hurts so m-much,” you slur mindlessly.
Wait, what did you just say?
“Daddy, huh? Easy, babybun, your wolf dad’s gonna take good care of you, I promise,” Chan’s words send you into overdrive and you come around his cock, your thighs are shaking and you’re arching your back. You can’t think anymore, you just need to be with him stuck in this moment forever. Soon enough, he releases his cum inside of your pussy.
You want to beg him to stay there for a while but you are too weak to speak.
Instead, Chan uses his fingers to push back the cum inside of your tiny pussy.
“Gotta make it stick. Will my bunny have my wolf puppies, huh?”
Oh? So, he’s that kind of guy. Well, you can’t say you mind...Besides, you’ve talked about this before and you’re on the pill so whatever he says is just for the sake of the scenario. Right?
“Was this okay?” Chan intends to find out and judging by his soft tone that is just begging to be praised you can tell that the scene is over.
“You did amazing, Chris,” you sigh wistfully and kiss his cheek.
“Better than your fantasies?”
“You have no idea.”
“So…when can we do something like this again?”
“Gee, let me have some water, at least,” you joke but your best friend (?) takes it literally and scoops you up in his arms, heading towards the stairs.
“Wait, where are we going?”
“To get you water, of course. And have a bath. And then to bed.”
Fuck. Maybe staying friends will be more complicated than you initially thought.
Once you’ve both been hydrated, washed up and dried out, you are cuddled in your bed, sharing snacks.
“Do you want to try something more extreme next week?” Chan asks casually. As if what you just did wasn’t already pretty intense.
“Um, sure? What exactly did you have in mind?”
“Kind of an outside setting. It will take some planning to make sure there aren’t other people but…it just came to mind while we were in the basement.”
“Tell me more about it,” you blink curioisly and put your hand on top of his.”
��So…how do you feel about being chased in a forest?”
To be continued…
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bwabys-scenarios ¡ 9 months ago
Note
Hello dear! How are you? Could you please do Perv! Chrollo if it's not too much trouble? I haven't seen much Perv Chrollo content out there, and I'd love to see that in your writing! You can ignore it if you want, have a nice day ♡ (Sorry if it seemed confusing, English is not my first language ☠️)
His pretty girl
Perv!Chrollo x Fem!Reader
warnings: perv behavior, panting stealing, reader is mentioned to be chubby, excessive gift giving, somno, dubcon, reader is innocent and naive, breeding kink, pregnancy, bit of Yandere chrollo if you squint, Chrollo calls you princess/angel/goddess, minor manga spoilers about Shalnark
A/N: not the biggest chrollo fan but him being head over heels in love and just a big softy with his lover does do something for me.
NSFW: @lightshowerrr @jungtoast @nenggie @pannacottababy @aliceattheart @atransmuter
‼️If you want to be added to the taglist, please check out the taglist information then comment what you want to be added to! Make sure you have your age in your bio and that your blog can be tagged/mentioned!‼️
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Unlike most pervs, Chrollo is much sneakier with his perversion. You won’t catch him sniffing your panties or jacking off to pictures of your cute face… but you will find pairs of your panties covered in his cum in your dresser, and lots of pictures of you saved on his phone if you go looking.
Chrollo absolutely adores you, he enjoys seeing you blush and stutter when you find a particularly nasty love letter stuffed into your mailbox, or those pair of missing lacy panties folded neatly on your bed, with strange stains on them.
He first fell for you when Shalnark introduced him to you. You met Shal through the Hunter exam years ago, though you didn’t pass. Regardless, the two of you stayed good friends, with Shal making sure you stayed safe while under his care.
But Shalnark was quick to back off the second Chrollo showed interest in you. You were just too cute, with your chubby frame and pretty face. Chrollo had never really put much thought into his sexual preferences, but seeing your plump ass and fat tits was enough to awaken something… sinful in him.
After that first meeting, you started receiving little gifts from him. At first, they were just pretty trinkets that Chrollo found on his missions, but as his obsession and adoration for you grew, those little trinkets because expensive dresses and luxurious jewelry.
At first you thought it was just him being generous with you, considering your living situation wasn’t the best. You were very appreciative, your cheeks heating up and your voice small when he smiled sweetly after you thanked him.
But over time, strange things started happening that you just couldn’t explain!
Your windows would be open in the morning when you were sure you closed them last night… and what was that sticky stuff on your face?
Chrollo had gotten into the habit of breaking in to watch you sleep. In the beginning, it was because he felt such intense love and care for you that he just couldn’t bear the thought of you getting harmed in your most vulnerable state!
He’d sit at the edge of your bed, reading a book while gently stroking your cheek. It was cute, you seemed so content and happy in your sleep when he was with you. It made his heart soar thinking that maybe, just maybe he had something to do with it.
But soon those soft and innocent intentions shifted when he noticed how… revealing your pajamas were sometimes. Those flimsy little shorts and the fact he could see your nipples through your thin white tanktop had his cock straining against his pants.
You always looked so soft and peaceful, something he wanted to protect and cherish. You were the only person linking him to the normal world, where your biggest problems were paying rent on time and figuring out what to eat for dinner, while his were trying to keep his friends from dying and which heist he should plan next.
You lived in a completely different world than him, and that was some of the appeal. Chrollo had never lived a normal life, but with you, he could have some shred of normalcy. He could marry you, make you his sweet little wife and live out the rest of his days keeping you happy and safe.
But… deep down Chrollo knew this was next to impossible. He was a wanted criminal, with more enemies than he could care to remember.
He still liked to imagine it, though. You, sitting in a rocking chair your swollen belly, carrying his child. He’d come home from a heist, carry you upstairs and ravish you, making sure to be extra careful with your delicate body.
Chrollo stroked his cock to this thought, his tip gently pressed against your lips as you slept. He’d done this exact things countless times… he hadn’t been expecting you to wake up right as he buckled his pants after cumming on your lips.
“… Chrollo?”
You rubbed your sleepy eyes, then wiped at your mouth, grimacing. Did you drool in your sleep? It was too dark to make out what was on your hand… but there was just enough light to see your friend Chrollo standing there, peering down at you with a slightly surprised expression.
He quickly took on his usual calm, charming facade. “Hello, (Name). Shal asked me to come watch over you. Apparently there’s been a few break ins in town that got both him and I worried for you.”
It was all lies, but something he loved about (Name) was her naïveté. You smiled sweetly, your cheeks heating up. “Really? You came to make sure I was okay?”
Chrollo nodded, setting his book on your nightstand before sitting at the edge of your bed. “Of course… I don’t think you understand just how much you mean to me, (Name).”
You didn’t have time to react, he was already leaning closer to you. His eyes were captivating in the moonlight, reflecting the light and shining like jewels.
“You’re divine, (Name), like an angel sent from Heaven just for me.”
He cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing against your lip. “I want you, more than anything.”
Hearing this from a handsome man like Chrollo felt unreal. He wanted you of all people? It was hard to believe.
As if sensing your hesitancy, Chrollo tilted up your chin. “Do you want me to show you?”
Before you could answer, his lips met yours. He had been holding back for so long, he needed this, he needed you. You were always so sweet to him, making sure he was eating well and even coming to visit him when you could. How could he ever ask for anything more than you?
It wasn’t long before his tongue entered your mouth and his hands slipped under your shirt to grab at your perky, plump tits. You whines softly into his mouth as his thumbs ran over your sensitive nipples.
“Like that, princess?”
He gave them a soft pinch, biting down on your lip as he moved one hand to your shorts. He didn’t both with taking them off, he ripped them and pinned you down, one hand pinning your wrists and the other unbuckling his pants.
“My darling…”
His eyes settled on your pretty cunt, wet and glistening in the moonlight. Chrollo had a few one nights stands in the past, but he never felt like this before. Your pussy, all wet and ready for him was enough to have him groaning into your neck as his cock sunk into your warm heat.
He grabbed onto your hips, his fingers sinking into the soft fat. You were so cute, tears pooling down your cheeks as you blubbered incoherently, too fucked out to speak. He leaned forward and kissed those soft lips of yours, so soft and gentle with his little angel.
“Shh, just take me okay? Fuck, you’re divine, my angel, my goddess…”
With one leg over his shoulder as he pressed your bodies together, Chrollo fucked into you. He tried his best to restrain himself, but god you looked way too pretty when you came around his cock for the third time.
You clung to him for comfort and some sort of stability as he mercilessly pounded your sensitive cunt. “Pretty, god you’re just gorgeous, my sweet girl…”
By the end of the night, you were too exhausted to even speak, your pussy full of his seed. He held you now, cooing softly as he peppered kisses along your cheeks and jaw. “Did so well, such a good girl…”
From then on Chrollo’s obsession with you would only deepen. He’d marked you up, leaving love bites all over your neck and chest. You were his, and he’d make sure everyone knew that.
It wasn’t long before he had moved you away, somewhere you could be together and also under the radar. After Shalnark’s death, he became a bit paranoid that Hisoka would come after you next.
So now there you were, belly swollen with his child as he held you in his lap, his palm resting on your baby bump.
Chrollo had you, and although it wasn’t quite the life he had expected, he was still happy with it. You were here with him, carrying his baby and unable to get a way, even if you wanted to.
And that was enough for him.
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kookooluvr ¡ 6 days ago
Text
Teach Me How To Love - Part 5
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pairing: professor!jungkook x (fem) professor!reader, fwb to lovers
genre: fluff, angst, smut, fwb au, economicsprofessor!jungkook, politicalscienceprofessor!reader, slow burn, some emotional constipation, some sappy moments, lots of sexy moments.
summary: jeon jungkook, a fellow professor at yonsei university, is your friend, co-worker, and secret bed buddy. you have rules set in place to make sure there are no misunderstandings in your little arrangement. the #1 rule is as clear as day; no catching feelings. simple, right? wrong. let's see how un-simple it gets when a certain economics professor falls for an emotionally unavailable political science professor.
rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
word count: 16k
warnings: the gang all head off to jeju, jk and oc have a little moment on the plane, jk's secret playlist for oc, jk and oc share a room thanks to tae, he gets hard from a few smoochies, oc finds out what jk said about her back when they met, some jealousy, she takes a step back before taking a step forward, some wholesome vibes, lots of yearning, cuddles, oc has a few realisations, volleyball on the beach, HANA AGAIN (she's a warning all on her own), very minor ankle injury, mentions of oc's past heartbreak, some angst + fluff on the beach, explicit sexual content; making out, shower sex, fingering (f. receiving), handjob (m. receiving), oral (m. receiving), unprotected sex (oc's on the pill you know the drill), a brief description of fluffy morning sex, nipple play, oral (f. receiving), sleepy missionary sex, overall fluffy ending.
author's note: i just want to thank you all for all the love and support this story has gotten so far, i love and appreciate you all so so much !!! i really hope you enjoy part 5 (this is a lengthy one ladies and gentlemen so be prepared) and please don't be shy to share your thoughts because i love hearing them okay bye 🫶🏼🫶🏼
taglist: @rpwprpwprpwprw @livinluvl @chxiosworld @mimi1097 @bumblebee-21s-blog @koosluvss @sou-17 @svnbangtansworld @junecat18 @shrek-the-destroyer @tastykookoonut @sturniolowrld @palomanazareth @chimmisbae @daskewl @ramyun-h @heyitsroshni @matryoshka-poetry @almatiarau @ambiee3 @gukkie7
find tmhtl masterlist here
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Today is just not your day. No, there wasn't an earthquake or a massive flood (it's far less dramatic than that) but more so minor inconveniences continuously piling up. For starters, Miso threw up on your bed, which was a fantastic start to the morning. You checked to make sure it wasn't anything serious, but it turns out she just had a hairball. Typical. Then there was an accident on the road around 10am, so you were stuck in traffic while taking Miso over to Jihyo's place where she'll be staying for the next few days. On top of that, you can't find your phone charger or your headphones and Jungkook is currently on his way to your apartment to pick you up to go to the airport, giving you very little time to get your shit together.
Mai and Namjoon and the rest of Jungkook's friends are all at the airport already, waiting for the flight which is set to leave at 2pm to take you all from Seoul to Jeju. Mai has been texting you nonstop to confirm that you're still going, and at one point you weren't sure if you should follow through, but you just couldn't disappoint her. The two of you are already becoming fast friends, and she seems pretty excited to have you come along with all of them. What's the harm in joining Jungkook and his friends on a three-day trip?
You're frantically checking to make sure you haven't forgotten to pack anything important, when your phone buzzes, signalling a text from Jungkook letting you know he's on his way up to your apartment. Well...fuck it. If you forgot anything, it's too late to stress about it now.
You scurry to make sure you have all your skincare products and toiletries before quickly zipping up your luggage. Minutes later there's a knock on your door, so you roll your suitcase to the living room and open the front door, feeling your stomach flip at the sight of him. He ditched his usual button-up shirt and slacks for a casual golfer and jeans, the denim hugging his thighs just right, the shirt's short sleeves showing off his thick biceps. His hair is styled a little messily, paired with his favourite black sunglasses. He looks like the lead role out of a rom-com, and that's not just because you're ovulating. Damn, maybe today is your day after all.
"Hey," he smiles, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head to push back his hair. "You all set?"
"Yeah, let me just get my suitcase-"
"Lemme get that for you."
You reach for the handle of your suitcase, but he stops you and quickly gets it before you do. You have no problem carrying your own bags or rolling around a heavy suitcase, but Jungkook wouldn't be Jungkook if he wasn't a true gentleman, so you let him do it because you know he's just going to insist anyway.
"Oh, uhm, thanks," you murmur, watching his arm flex as he carries your suitcase out the apartment, giving you a chance to lock the door.
"It's no problem," he shrugs, flashing you a smile. The two of you walk to the elevators, going downstairs to his car in the parking lot. He unlocks the car and puts your suitcase next to his in the trunk, opening your door for you before making his way over to the driver's seat, the engine roaring to life.
The drive to the airport is a short one, but you use your time wisely, stealing little glances while he's not looking, taking in the way his muscles flex under his skin, the way his hair blows in the light breeze of the air conditioner, the way his skin glows under the summer sun. He's a gorgeous man, and you could stare at him for hours, but you mentally remind yourself to look away every time your thoughts get a little too carried away or the butterflies in your stomach flap their wings just a little too hard. He's not your boyfriend, and a three-day trip with him and his friends won't change that, even if your brain and your heart have been having a few disagreements about that lately.
"So...you ready for Jeju?" He asks, snapping you out of your daze.
"Yeah, the weather should be nice," you murmur, looking out the window as the other cars pass by.
"I hope you didn't feel obligated to come, y'know. I know Mai can be a bit pushy at times but she means well," he mutters, keeping his eyes straight ahead of him as he drives.
"No, no, I'm happy to come," you murmur. "I mean...I was pretty drunk when she initially invited me, so obviously I wasn't going to say no, but it's a free vacation. What type of person would I be to complain about that?"
You had insisted on paying for your own plane ticket to Jeju, but Mai just wasn't having any of that. She graciously offered to pay for your ticket because she invited you a bit last minute. You could have managed, but as Jungkook says, Mai can be a bit pushy. Not that you mind, you've actually started growing quite fond of her since you met that night at the club.
He glances over at you for a moment, then reluctantly looks away. He wishes he wasn't driving so that he could just keep staring. A few moments pass in comfortable silence before he speaks, his voice soft and contemplative. "I really am glad you decided to join."
You look over at him, a faint smile gracing your face. "Why? Because otherwise you'd have to use your hand instead of me?"
He scoffs, rolling his eyes. "No," he mutters, trying to sound annoyed but failing as a hint of amusement creeps onto his face. "Because I really enjoy your company, ___."
You try to remind yourself why you set so many rules and boundaries between the two of you, but you can barely hear your brain over the loud chattering of your heart. "Yeah...me too," you murmur softly, looking back out the window for the rest of the drive. This trip is surely going to be a test of your self-restraint, that's for sure.
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At the airport, the two of you meet the rest of his friends, getting a tight hug from an excited Mai, hearing Namjoon chuckle at his fiancĂŠe's enthusiasm.
"Mai, c'mon, you're suffocating her," Jungkook jokes, greeting the rest of his friends with a pat on their back. Everyone is excited to get to Jeju, a few of them already talking about going down to the beach once they land. It'll be a nice get-away from the concrete jungle that is Seoul.
"Oh, I'm sorry, ___," she chuckles, pulling away to go and stand next to Namjoon, looking like a puppy being taken on a walk. "I'm just so happy we're all together."
"It's okay," you murmur with a smile. "Thank you again for inviting me, Mai."
"Of course! You're Jungkook's friend, so you're our friend now too."
Her words bring a strange, warm feeling to your chest. You've only ever had a handful of friends in your life, Jihyo being your right-hand woman. You're so used to keeping people at arm's length, so to have his friends be so willing to accept you into their friend group is new, and just slightly intimidating.
Everyone hangs out in the waiting area until it's time for the flight. Jisoo and Seokjin have a little argument about whether he turned the stove off before they left the house, Namjoon and Mai discuss everything they want the group to do in Jeju, while Hoseok, Yoongi, Taehyung and Jimin are already thinking about what's for dinner tonight.
Much to Jungkook's dismay, Hana is here as well, so he quickly goes to sit with you before she can start up a conversation with him. She watches the way he not so subtly flirts with you, the way you try to act indifferent, despite the occasional chuckle you let out at one of his dumb jokes. It makes her blood boil.
Hana's not an idiot. She knows something is going on between the two of you, but she also knows that Jungkook would be showing you off if you were his girlfriend. She can't figure out exactly what it is you two have going on, but she doesn't like it. On the plane, she finds it annoying that he insists on putting your suitcase up in the overhead compartment for you, and she mentally rolls her eyes when he sits next to you, leaving her to sit next to Hoseok and Yoongi.
Jungkook on the other hand is quite happy to be seated next to you, after subtly shoving Taehyung out of that seat, leaving his friend to sit in the next row. Not that Taehyung minds, he'll anyway just end up texting a certain friend of yours throughout the flight, which he spent all of last night doing as well.
"I made this new playlist on Spotify," Jungkook quips as he gets his phone out, putting one of his earphones in before holding the other one out for you. "Wanna hear?"
You move closer and place the earphone in your ear with a smile, looking down at his phone to see the title ___'s playlist on the screen. That was definitely not meant for your eyes. At least not yet.
"Hey, what's that?" you ask, but he quickly scrolls past it before you can get a proper look at it.
"Hm? Oh no, that's nothing. Here it is," he mutters quickly, his movements a bit panicked as he clicks on a playlist called Jeju Summer. You'll have to ask him about that other playlist another time. He hits play and the first song is by Beabadoobee, causing your eyebrows to raise in surprise.
"I didn't know you listened to Beabadoobee," you chuckle.
"What, are you making fun of me?" he asks with an amused smile and a raised eyebrow.
"No, of course not. I love her, I just wouldn't have pegged you to listen to this sorta music, that's all."
"Well...maybe you have a few more things to learn about me, Professor," he teases, looking over at you with a soft smile, the catchy melody playing through his earphones.
The songs play one by one, some a bit slower than others, causing your eyes to slowly fall closed, your head lowering to rest on his shoulder. The weight of your head on his shoulder brings a smile to his face, his head resting against yours for the remainder of the flight. He scrolls back to the playlist he made for you and hits play, letting out a soft sigh as 'The Only Exception' by Paramore starts to play. The playlist isn't finished yet, but he hopes to gain the courage to show it to you some day.
Hana watches the exchange from her seat, mentally cursing you. She has no claim over Jungkook, but that doesn't make it sting any less, and if her eyes were daggers, you'd be dead by now. She has to force herself to look away from the two of you, her face growing hot with jealousy. She can't quite remember why she even wanted to come on this trip in the first place.
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Once the group arrives in Jeju, everyone splits into separate groups to go over to Mai's family's beach house. Seokjin, Jisoo, Namjoon and Mai share a car, while Yoongi, Hoseok, Hana and Jimin all drive together, leaving you, Jungkook and Taehyung to drive together in the third car.
Jungkook packs everyone's luggage in the trunk of the rental car and gets the engine running. You sit in the passenger seat, leaving Taehyung to sit on the back seat. It's a beautiful day in Jeju, the waves crashing as you all drive down the scenic route. Jungkook occasionally steals glances at you while he drives, causing Taehyung to stifle a big grin. He can't tell if you're oblivious to his friend's obvious affection toward you, or if you're just choosing to ignore it. Either way, it's quite amusing for him to witness first hand.
"I wonder how many rooms there are at this house," Taehyung mumbles, looking out at the view. "I'm sure a few people will have to share, huh?"
"Well, obviously each couple will share a room," Jungkook murmurs.
"Right...Joon and Mai, Jin and Jisoo, you and-"
"Wow! Look at that view!" Jungkook interjects before he can go any further, shooting his friend a narrow-eyed look in the rear-view mirror, Taehyung pretending to seal his lips. The rest of the drive is filled with the soft sounds of the radio playing, paired with the sounds and smell of the ocean outside.
It's a thirty-minute drive before you all get to the beach house. Jungkook pulls up into the driveway and gets out, going around to open your door for you. Once you get out the car, your eyes widen in awe of the stunning house. It's a big two-story home with six bedrooms, large windows and the beach right at its feet. Some of the others are already there, Jisoo and Mai already setting up and unpacking the groceries in the kitchen.
You, Jungkook and Taehyung get your luggage from the trunk and make your way inside. Mai makes sure to give you a little tour of the house while the others chat in the kitchen, showing you around the bottom and top floor to make sure you know where everything is. Once everyone has arrived at the house, the group gathers in the living room, getting comfortable to decide who's taking what room.
"We hope you all don't mind but Mai and I will be taking the master bedroom," Namjoon grins, already heading upstairs to take their luggage to their room, the one with a king-sized bed and a gorgeous view of the beach, leaving everyone else to decide on their rooms. Seokjin and Jisoo get the second biggest bedroom, the one upstairs with a queen-sized bed and a big tub in the en-suite. Hoseok suggests him and Yoongi share one of the bedrooms with two single beds, and he accepts, mainly because he could care less where he sleeps.
As everyone begins to pair off for the remainder of the rooms, the reality of the situation slowly starts to sink in. There are five people left, and only three more rooms.
"Jimin and I will share a room," Taehyung calls out, shooting Jungkook a look, subtly gesturing over to you with his eyes. He knows his friend wants to share a room with you, better yet, he knows his friend does not want to share a room with Hana.
"___, you're new to the group. You should get your own room," Mai suggests.
Dammit Mai.
Jungkook looks over at you, swallowing thickly at the thought of having to share the last room with Hana, who happens to be visibly pleased.
"I think that's a great idea!" Hana quips with a sly grin. "Kookie and I can share, and his friend can have her own room. I mean, who doesn't want their own room, right, ___?"
"Oh, uhhh..." You don't quite know what to say. You glance over at Jungkook, his eyes boring a hole through you, practically begging you to decline. You're a guest in Mai's family's home, so you should probably just take what you get, even if the thought of Jungkook and Hana sleeping in a bed together makes your stomach turn.
"Hana, why don't you take the single room instead?" Taehyung blurts out with a sickeningly sweet smile, causing Hana to whip her head in his direction. "___ is Jungkook's friend so I think it would only make sense for them to share a room. You said it yourself; who doesn't want their own room...right?"
Hana's eyes dart between you and Jungkook, her jaw clenching. She had clearly hoped to get a room with Jungkook in hopes of getting closer to him, but with everyone's expectant eyes on her, Taehyung leaves her no choice. She forces a smile and pretends to be thrilled about having her own room for these next three days.
"Yeah, perfect," she mutters through gritted teeth.
Jungkook keeps his expression schooled, even as his heart bangs against his ribcage. The two of you will be sharing a room. He shoots Taehyung a grateful smile, silently thanking his friend for doing what he couldn't do. Internally, he's ecstatic, but externally he remains nonchalant. He knows you still have your boundaries and your rules and all that, so he leans over to whisper in your ear from his seat on the arm of the couch, making sure no one else can hear. "Are you okay with this?"
You turn your head to look up at him, your heart racing at the thought of sharing a room with him for three days. You're not sure if it's nerves or excitement, but you nod and give him a faint smile. Some rules are meant to be broken on vacation anyway.
He mirrors your smile, his eyes having a hard time looking away from your face. "It's fine with us," he announces, standing up to grab your luggage and take it to the room.
You follow him to your room and gently close the door behind you, your eyes trailing over the double bed you'll be sharing. The room itself is quite spacious with a big window, allowing the late afternoon sea breeze to travel inside. There is an en-suite bathroom and a waterfall shower, but all you can think about is that bed and what might happen in it in the nights to come.
You both start unpacking, the room slowly starting to feel like your own, your skincare products placed neatly on the bathroom counter, your clothing hanging in the shared closet. You hang up the last of your clothing while Jungkook goes to sit at the edge of the bed, watching you with a faint smile on his face.
"You sure you're okay with us sharing a room? Because I can sleep on the couch in the living room if you-"
"Don't be ridiculous," you chuckle, walking over to stand between his thighs, your hands on your hips. "I'm not letting you sleep on the couch on vacation. You'd probably just end up complaining about a crick in your neck and I don't wanna have that on my conscience."
He lets out a huff of laughter, shaking his head in amusement. "I guess you're right, yeah."
His laughter dies down, his face softening into a smile, his big brown eyes staring up at you, his hands reaching out to trail up your thighs, his thumbs rubbing slow circles over the fabric of your leggings. "Seriously though, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
"Jungkook, I'm okay."
"Can I get a kiss to prove it?" he whispers, staring up at you like he's been dying to ask since he picked you up from your apartment.
You let out a soft scoff and lean down to cup his face in your hands, leaning in to press a soft peck to his lips.
"Another one please," he whispers, his lips just millimetres from yours, his big brown eyes pleading as he stares up at you. You smile and close the gap, pressing another kiss to his lips, this one lasting slightly longer.
"One more."
"You're greedy."
"For you, yes."
You're about to respond, when there's a knock at the door, causing you to jolt up straight, backing away from him to avoid getting caught by any of his friends. "Come in!"
Jisoo peeks her head in, completely oblivious to the moment you had going on. "Hey, we're getting started on dinner, okay? It shouldn't be long."
"Thanks, Soo," Jungkook murmurs, standing up to subtly adjust his jeans, his back turned to her.
As soon as Jisoo leaves and the door closes, your eyes trail down to see Jungkook's situation, a little chuckle bubbling up your throat.
"Are you seriously hard from a few kisses?"
"Shut up, your kisses feel good, okay?" he mumbles, a faint pout on his lips.
You bite your lip to hold back the smile spreading across your face, his words sending a rush of pride through your chest. You glance over at the bathroom door before grabbing some underwear and a flowy dress from the closet to wear to dinner. "I'm gonna go take a shower before dinner, okay?"
"Yeah," he nods, his eyes growing wide as you turn around and press one last kiss to his lips before disappearing into the en-suite, the bathroom door shutting behind you.
Jungkook plops down onto the bed with his arms splayed out, a big grin spread across his face as he stares up at the ceiling. A few kisses and he's putty in your hands.
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The smell of food fills your nose as you leave the room for dinner, the others coming in and out of the kitchen. Jisoo sets the table while Seokjin and Yoongi finish up on dinner, with the others hanging out in the living room. You want to make yourself useful in any way that you can, so you go to the kitchen to check if anyone needs any help.
"___, can you help me set the table?" Jisoo asks, handing you a few plates.
You get to work, placing a plate at each place setting while she adds the utensils and the glasses. She doesn't seem to talk much, which is quite the opposite of Mai, which is probably why they're best friends. They balance each other out. That seems to be the case for Jungkook's entire friend group. Each person has their person who seems to balance out their personality. Yoongi has Hoseok, Jisoo has Mai and Mai has Namjoon, and so on. This leaves you questioning who your person is. Maybe it's the man who can't seem to keep his big brown eyes off of you for more than a few seconds at a time as he attempts to stay focused on his conversation with Hoseok and Namjoon.
"You know," Jisoo murmurs, keeping her eyes down as she gently places the utensils next to each plate. "You must be really special for Jungkook to bring you around."
Her words puzzle you. "How so?"
She looks over at you, a soft smile spreading across her face. "You're the first woman Jungkook's ever introduced us to. Even if you are just his friend...you must be a very special friend."
You look down at the stack of plates in your hands, her words ringing through your head. "I suppose so..."
As if on cue, Jungkook walks into the dining room, slowly rounding the table to get to you, placing a gentle hand on your lower back. "Need any help?"
"I think we can manage," you murmur softly, looking up into his eyes.
Jisoo looks between the two of you with a knowing smile, leaving to get the salads from the kitchen. She knows that look, the way you look at him. It's the same look she used to give Seokjin in university, the look she still gives him even after three kids. She doesn't know you that well yet, but she has a sneaky suspicion she'll be seeing a lot more of you.
Everyone eventually sits down for dinner, Jungkook sitting on your left and Mai on your right. The atmosphere around the table is bubbly, everyone chatting and discussing their plans for the next two days in Jeju.
"We're so playing volleyball tomorrow," Hoseok announces. "Everyone in?"
"Soo and I will be sitting this one out," Seokjin murmurs with an apologetic smile.
"Boooo!" Jimin teases, rolling his eyes. "Hyung, c'mon!"
"Sorry, we're going for a walk," he shrugs.
"A walk?" Namjoon scoffs. "Is that code for sex?"
Seokjin lets out a hearty laugh, giving Namjoon an exasperated look. "You try having three kids. Cut us some slack!"
"Okay, so Jin and Jisoo are out," Hoseok says, rolling his eyes at the couple who don't seem to care, Jisoo placing a soft kiss on her husband's cheek.
"Me too," Yoongi murmurs, chewing on some of the samgyeopsal. "I wanna catch up on some reading."
Hoseok scoffs, muttering a teasing, "Get a load of Stephen Hawking over here".
"I'm in," Jimin calls out. "I still have to kick your ass for the last volleyball game."
"Yeah, me too. I can't believe we lost to Hobi," Taehyung sighs, shaking his head. "Kook?"
"I'm still deciding," Jungkook murmurs with a faint grin, taking a sip of his beer. His response is mostly just to tease Hoseok.
You look over at him, then over at Hoseok, who seems to be waiting for your verdict. "I'm in."
"See, I knew I liked you, ___," Hoseok smiles. "Kook, why didn't you bring her around sooner? I'm already starting to like her more than you."
Jungkook doesn't protest. He simply glances over at you with a soft smile on his face, watching as you talk to his friends. It feels so natural to have you here, like you're a puzzle piece that's been missing all this time. You just fit.
All throughout dinner, he finds little ways to maintain contact with you. He touches your thigh under the table, he rests his arm over the back of your chair, he lazily plays with the ends of your hair while you make conversation with Taehyung about work. It's his subtle way of showing his affection without outright saying what he feels.
After dinner, his friends decide to sit around the patio and roast some marshmallows on the fire that Seokjin lit. Hana chose to go to her room with the excuse of not feeling too well so that she doesn't have to tell the truth, which is that she would rather bang her head against a wall than sit and watch Jungkook make heart eyes at you for another second.
Everyone else gets cozy outside. The sun has already set, the moon and stars illuminating the seaside while the waves crash in the distance. You sit next to Jungkook on one of the patio loveseats, the fire crackling as he holds out a charred marshmallow on a skewer.
"Mai, is everything finalised for the wedding?" Jisoo asks, snuggling up to Seokjin under a thick blanket on one of the other loveseats.
"I have my final dress fitting next week and the venue is stunning! We can't wait for you guys to see it," Mai gushes, her eyes sparkling as she talks about her wedding. "We're really excited."
"Damn, the second couple in our friend group is getting married," Yoongi sighs. "We're getting old."
"Speak for yourself," Taehyung scoffs, playfully elbowing his friend.
"Weddings are always so exciting," Jisoo sighs blissfully. "I remember how happy I was at our wedding. I think that was honestly the happiest day of my life...and when the boys were born of course," she chuckles.
You stare down at the fire burning away, your eyes slightly glossy as you zone in on the low flames. Wedding-talk always gets you a bit choked up, but the last thing you want to do is take away from Mai and Namjoon's moment, so you blink away the moisture building in your eyes and swallow the lump in your throat.
Of course Jungkook notices. He can sense something is wrong by the way your shoulders tense up, the way your eyes remain fixed on the fire. He doesn't want to draw any attention to you, so he leans closer, keeping his voice down. "Hey, everything okay?" he whispers, gently snaking an arm around your waist.
You snap out of your daze to look at him, inhaling sharply, the cool evening breeze working fast to dry your eyes. "Mhm," you nod, looking out at the ocean in the distance. "I'm fine, just...a bit tired."
"You wanna head inside?"
"No, I'm fine."
He doesn't push. He takes your word for it, even though he knows you're anything but fine. He knows you won't tell him what's on your mind, so he lets it go and gently squeezes your waist through the fabric of your dress, a simple way of saying that he's here for you through whatever it is that seems to be bothering you.
"Hey, she was hot!" Jimin exclaims exasperatedly.
"She threatened to hit you with her car," Namjoon laughs.
The conversation seems to have taken a different turn while you and Jungkook got distracted, his friends reminiscing about their failed relationships. Namjoon and Mai's upcoming wedding has them all thinking about their own love lives, some a bit less significant than others.
"What can I say, I like my girls with a touch of psycho," Jimin laughs, earning an amused snort from Taehyung.
"Hey, remember that woman Kook told us about a few years ago who was apparently sooo gorgeous," Hoseok chuckles. "What ever happened to her, man?"
"Yeah, you never told us her name," Yoongi chimes in, giving Jungkook a puzzled look. "You went on and on about how smart and-"
Jungkook clears his throat loudly, subtly signaling for them to 'zip it', his eyes briefly flickering over to you before you even catch it. "She died," he deadpans, earning a loud laugh from Hoseok.
"You're so full of bullshit," he laughs, shaking his head. He would never laugh at something so tragic, but come on. It's so obvious Jungkook just wants this topic to end.
You glance over at him, seeing the way he looks down at the wooden patio floor, his cheeks flushed. You wonder who they're talking about and why you've never heard him talk about this "gorgeous" woman before. You don't want to ask him about it. You don't want to know. Or do you? You feel weird. It's like you're...jealous or something. You're not jealous, that's ridiculous. It's just curiosity. And possibly acid reflux. Well, good for her, whoever she is.
Jungkook lets out a silent sigh of relief when the guys don't question him any further, the topic changing to something else, something you don't really take notice of because you're still too busy wondering who this woman is, or was. Maybe another professor at work? Or maybe she was a neighbour, or even just someone in passing, like a cashier at the grocery store or a waitress at a restaurant.
You're so busy wondering who it could be, you don't even realize you're shivering until he mentions it. "Are you cold?"
"A little," you murmur, rubbing your arms, feeling the goosebumps that have risen.
"I'll go get you a blanket. I'll be right back."
You watch as he gets up and goes inside the house to get you a blanket, your eyes following behind him even when he's out of your line of sight. Mai notices and scoots closer.
"Are you thinking about what Hobi said? About the woman Jungkook wouldn't stop talking about?"
"What?" Your eyebrows raise in faux surprise. "No, why would I be thinking about that?"
Mai smiles, seeing right through your lie. "Okay, well...just so you know...if Hobi actually paid enough attention, he'd remember that Jungkook went on and on about the gorgeous political science professor he met at work...but you didn't hear that from me," she whispers, playfully zipping her lips.
Mai's words make you freeze in your spot, your lips parting, the lightbulb going off in your brain. You know he finds you attractive. Obviously, he's having sex with you, for God's sake. But hearing that he spoke to his friends about you all those years ago when you first met...it feels different. It has a different connotation. You don't speak about a friend like that, do you? Well, you're not just friends, but you're not his either. Being his is a concept you've noticed reoccurring in your head a lot lately, but one you have yet to acknowledge. It's scary to think about. Being his doesn't feel scary, but the thought of being vulnerable enough to lay yourself out there to be hurt is scary.
You're snapped back to reality when Jungkook returns and sits down next to you, gently draping a warm blanket around your shoulders, an even warmer smile on his face.
"Better?" he whispers.
"Better," you whisper.
That look on his face. It makes everything feel less scary. It makes your heart beat faster and your stomach feel all tingly. It's a look you've grown accustomed to. It's a feeling you've started growing accustomed to.
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The evening slowly draws to a close and everyone starts saying their goodnights, going off to their rooms. Jungkook goes to your room and you're about to join him but you're stopped by Mai in the hallway.
"Hey," she whispers. "Please don't tell Jungkook I told you about the whole 'gorgeous professor' thing. He'd probably kill me."
You chuckle, storing the information in a locked safe in your brain. "I won't say anything."
"Okay. I just don't want him to think I'm meddling, y'know."
"There's nothing to meddle in, Mai. We're just-"
"Friends...right," she chuckles, nodding in understanding, even though her facial expression tells you she still doesn't believe you. She knows there's more to the story. The chemistry between you and Jungkook is too strong to be just friends.
"Don't give me that look."
"What look? There's no look," she laughs.
"There so is a look," you chuckle, shaking your head.
"I'm just saying...I'm not trying to pry, I just...l kinda have a feeling there's more going on. There's a whole vibe between you two."
"The 'vibe' is called friendship," you deadpan.
At this point you aren't sure if you're trying to convince Mai or yourself, but it's a habit at this point to deny any romantic connection between you and Jungkook. It saves you from answering a million questions.
"Okay, okay. If you say so, I believe you," she chuckles, holding her hands up in surrender. "I'll let you go before your 'friend' starts looking for you," she teases, biding you goodnight before going upstairs to join Namjoon in the master bedroom.
You make your way into your room and close the door behind you, finding Jungkook sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for you. "Hey."
"Hey yourself," he murmurs with a soft smile, holding his arms out as you make your way over to him, his hands sliding up to hold onto your waist, his eyes looking up at you. There isn't too much light in the room except for the bedside light and the moonlight streaming in through the large window.
"What were you and Mai talking about out there?"
"Girl stuff, I can't tell you," you tease, you lips curling into a grin.
Jungkook playfully rolls his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. "Oh, girl stuff, huh? So secret and exclusive," he murmurs with a mock pout.
"Yeah, it's confidential. Sorry," you chuckle, reaching out to gently run your fingers through his hair.
"Not even a hint? C'mon, baby..."
"My lips are sealed, Jeon."
Jungkook tilts his head back to look up at you properly, a hint of yearning in his gaze. He can barely focus on your words when you look so pretty standing before him. He can't wait to break in the bed with you, but he'll remain patient for now.
"Yeah?" he grins, biting his bottom lip. "Maybe I could get you to open them, hm?"
"Behave yourself," you whisper, your eyes slowly trailing down to his lips and back up. "Your friends are just down the hall."
"So? Let them hear us, I don't care."
You have to mentally remind yourself that you're not alone and that you don't want his friends hearing the things the two of you get up to behind closed doors. You muster up your strength to pull away from him, feeling like a magnet resisting his pull.
"You're crazy. I'm gonna go get ready for bed." You go to get your pyjamas from the closet and make your way to the bathroom, closing the door behind you.
Jungkook waits for you while you change, chewing on his bottom lip as he stares at the bathroom door. He slowly removes his shirt and his shoes, leaning back on his hands. He looks up as you emerge from the bathroom, standing in the open doorframe, your face glowing from the serum you used, your toothbrush in your mouth. He sees the way your eyes trail down his bare chest, the way your pupils dilate ever so subtly.
"You look cute," he murmurs with a lazy grin, his head tilted to the side as he watches you from the bed.
"Don't I always?" you tease, spitting the toothpaste foam into the sink before rinsing your mouth and walking out of the bathroom.
"Yes, but...I like you like this, in your cute pyjamas, your hair up, bare-faced," he murmurs, getting up from the bed to make his way over to you. He stands behind you at the sink, his hands trailing around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder.
"You gonna let me take these cute pyjamas off you?" he whispers. "I'll do that thing you like with my tongue."
His words go straight to your core, a faint blush spreading across your cheeks. You turn around to face him, your hands resting upon his bare chest as you look up into his eyes.
"What do you say? You wanna break in the bed?"
You look up into his eyes, your heart telling you to give in and let him do whatever he wants with you, your brain telling you that the walls are thin, that it's risky. Taehyung and Jimin's room is right next door, and if you can hear their muffled conversation, they'll be able to hear all the things Jungkook so badly wants to do to you.
"Maybe we should...wait...until we get back home..."
His brows furrow in confusion. That's not what he was expecting.
"Wait, what? Why?"
"Your friends could hear us."
"___, I meant what I said. I don't care if they hear us."
"But I care," you whisper, gently cupping his cheeks in your hands. "I just...I don't think we should risk it."
He sighs, but he understands why you're hesitant. He already let it slip to Taehyung that you're hooking up, breaking his promise of keeping it between the two of you. He doesn't want the rest of his friends finding out, especially not by hearing the two of you have sex. It would just bring about a million questions that he himself does not have the answers to.
"Okay. I understand," he sighs, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. "I'll just take a quick shower and get ready for bed."
He closes the bathroom door once you leave, but he doesn't lock it. A part of him wants you to walk back in and tell him that you changed your mind. He wants you to stop worrying so much and just let him love you the way he wants to. When he stands under the hot stream of water and lathers himself in his body wash, he wishes you were in there with him, letting him lather your body as well. He wishes you'd allow yourself to be taken care of. Sure he takes care of your sexual needs, but who runs you a nice warm bath after you've had a stressful day at work? Who makes you soup when you're sick or holds you in the middle of the night when you're having a bad dream? He could be that person for you if you'd just let him.
He wants to say 'fuck it' and change your mind, convince you to just let loose of the reins for a bit, but when he opens the bathroom door and finds you laying on your back in bed, with tired eyes and a soft smile on your face, all he really wants is to just lay by your side. He doesn't need the sex. A simple touch of your hand on his cheek is enough for him if it means he gets to be close to you.
He gets in bed, propping his head up on his hand, his eyes looking down at you. His hand snakes around to the side of your waist, keeping his grip gentle. "Those eyes look heavy. I thought people are supposed to stay up late on vacation."
"Yeah, when you're twenty-one. I'm not twenty-one anymore," you mumble through a soft chuckle, your sleepy eyes gazing up at him.
"Right, I forgot you're sixty-three with a hip replacement."
You let out a huff of laughter, the sound bringing a wide grin to his face. As your laughter dies down, you notice the way he looks at you, as if he's hypnotised by you.
"What?"
Jungkook's lips curl into a little smile when he realises he's been caught staring. "What?" he echoes, playing coy. "Can't I just admire a good-looking view?" he quips, his tone light and playful.
"I suppose I can't blame you," you murmur, your grin turning a bit more playful. "I'd stare too if I were you."
"Oh, you're so modest, aren't you?" He scoffs.
You chuckle, your eyes fluttering closed, and Jungkook's heart swells in his chest. Your smile is so soft, so genuine, it's infectious. He can't tear his eyes away from you, the way your lashes lay gently against your cheeks, the way your lips curve up at the edges. He reaches out without thinking, gently brushing a stray lock of hair away from your face, his touch light and tentative.
"___," he whispers.
"Yeah?"
There's a moment of utter silence before he speaks, his voice soft and delicate.
"You're an incredibly beautiful woman."
Suddenly, words are lost on you. You can't seem to find a response that would appropriately correlate with the way his words make you feel, so you show him instead. You lean in and press a gentle, tender kiss to his lips, your hand reaching up to cup the side of his jaw. It's slow and soft, and it steals his breath for a second. When you pull away, his eyes look slightly dreamy and his smile looks a bit dazed.
"Can we make that a regular thing?"
"What?"
"I mean...can we forget about the whole no kissing outside of sex thing? I just wanna kiss you...whenever it feels right..."
You pause, contemplating his words. You can't lie and say that you don't want that, because lord knows you do.
"We'll see," you whisper, smiling as you lean in for another kiss, and then another.
He knows what that smile means. It means you want it too, you're just too damn stubborn to outright admit it, as if him kissing you is so scandalous. He doesn't care, your unclear answer doesn't upset him. The way your lips can't seem to stray from his for longer than a few seconds tells him everything he needs to know.
"We'll see, huh?" He smiles, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, rolling onto his back with your body halfway on top of him. He enjoys the simple intimacy of just having your head on his chest, his fingers languidly running through your hair.
"Yeah, we'll see," you whisper, laying your head down on his chest, where it remains for the rest of the night.
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You're very cautious about cuddling. You don't cuddle after sex, and don't usually cuddle outside of sex either. Your heart is far too weak for that and you know that one good cuddle from the right man will have you throwing all your rules out the window, so when you wake up and that man isn't cuddling you like you had secretly hoped he would, you're met with disappointment.
You slowly open your eyes, blinking in the bright morning light that streams through the large window, the sea air drifting through your nose. As you come to, you notice that the other side of the bed is empty. Your thoughts linger on the person who is supposed to be on the other side of the bed, and you find yourself missing him, yearning to see his face, his fluffy hair, his pretty eyes. You slowly push yourself up into a sitting position, contemplating getting out of bed to find him.
Just as you're about to get up, however, the door to the bedroom opens and Jungkook walks in, carrying two mugs of coffee. As soon as his eyes land on you in bed, his face lights up with a smile.
"You're awake," he murmurs, his voice still a little groggy from sleep. He walks over to the bed and hands you one of the mugs.
"You went to get me coffee?" You still feel a bit groggy as you look down at the mug in your hand, smelling the delicious aroma.
"Of course," he smiles, sliding onto the edge of the bed beside you. "I figured you might need some caffeine to fully wake up."
Jungkook watches as you take a tentative sip of the coffee, enjoying the feeling of seeing you this early in the morning, still so sleepy, your hair a little messy, your lips slightly swollen, your cheeks flushed. He cherishes these moments, seeing you so vulnerable and unguarded in the morning. It's a side of you that he rarely gets to see, and he'll never take it for granted.
"Once you finish that, you have to get up because we're heading down to the beach around 9:30-ish."
"Damn...Hoseok really takes his volleyball seriously, huh?"
"He does," he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. "I'm gonna go get ready while you have your coffee."
He rounds the bed to get to his suitcase, pulling out his swimming shorts before making his way to the bathroom to change, giving you a moment to yourself.
You find yourself missing his presence as soon as the bathroom door closes, which is odd. You're not a clingy person. You like your space. You don't like spending every minute of every day with someone. Yet, here you are, impatiently waiting for his return after a simple trip to the bathroom to change. Maybe it's because you know that when he walks out of that bathroom, he'll be wearing half the amount of clothing he wore going in, or maybe your impatience is your body going through withdrawals after asking him to withold sex until you get home, which you think you're starting to regret.
You don't know what's going on with you lately. First, last night's jealousy at the thought of Jungkook finding another woman attractive (and the immediate relief when said woman turned out to be you), then the cuddling in bed, and then the disappointment of not waking up in his arms this morning.
It's not long before the bathroom door opens and he walks out in all his glory, his torso bare and toned, his shorts adorning his hips. A fresh cup of coffee and a nice view of a very attractive, half-naked man all within twenty minutes of waking up is surely a good way to start the day.
His presence alone is confirmation that you definitely regret asking him to withhold sex until you get home. It's confirmation that you were jealous last night, and that you were disappointed when he wasn't in bed with you when you woke up this morning.
"Actually, uh..." He stops in his tracks, his attention back on you. "You guys go and I'll meet you at the beach in a little bit."
"Are you sure?" He tilts his head in confusion.
"Yeah, you go, I'll be down in a bit."
He's hesitant to leave, having planned on going together, but he assumes you just want to catch up on a few more minutes of rest. "Okay...I'll see you down there," he murmurs with a smile before making his way out to join the others.
You set your coffee down on the nightstand and plop back down on the bed, your eyes staring up at the ceiling. You have so much going on in your head and your heart, and the two won't stop butting heads. You know this feeling. You know what love feels like. You've been there before, and you didn't like how it ended, which is exactly why you locked the big padlock on your heart and threw away the key. Yet, when you close your eyes and Jungkook's face pops up in your head, and his voice rings through your ears, a soft smile works its way onto your face.
When you're with him, you just want to kiss his cheek and listen to him ramble on and on about international trade and supply and demand. You want to suck his dick, then hold his hand and tell him how smart, and kind, and pretty he is. Oh how pretty he is. You want to partake in all of his nerdy interests with him and ask him questions about it just to see him get excited.
You threw that damn key away and you thought you'd never need it again, but somehow, Jungkook must have stumbled upon it and picked it up because it seems to be in his possession.
You can't stay here and let your thoughts run wild any longer. You have to get out of this room and get down to that beach.
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It's still quite early yet the sun is already scorching, the sand warm and toasty beneath your feet. The smell of salty air and sunscreen fills your senses, a perfect combination for a summer day. You spot Mai in her cute bikini, tanning on the sand, so you make your way over to her while some of the others set up a volleyball net, Hoseok and Namjoon's excited chattering echoing in the distance.
"Wooow, hot mama," Mai hoots, her chin resting in her palm while she tans her back, her sunglasses pushed up to the top of her head. The 'hotness' she's referring to might be the red bikini adorning your body, the red bikini you picked out with Jungkook's reaction in mind...but who knows for sure?
"Speak for yourself," you chuckle, laying down beside her, the sun beating down on your back. "I bet Namjoon loves that bikini, huh?"
"Honey, he'll be taking this bikini off of me later," she cackles, shooting a flirty wave over to her fiancĂŠ in the distance.
Namjoon's eyes aren't the only ones occupied. Jungkook can't help but stare, his eyes hungrily raking over your form. He's supposed to be partaking in a conversation with Taehyung and Jimin, but he's so distracted, his thoughts consumed by the sight of you in that bikini, his gaze firmly planted to your smooth skin, the roundness of your ass, those legs. It hasn't even been a full 24 hours yet and the lack of sex is already proving to be rather difficult.
"What're you guys talking about?" There's that damn nagging voice, Hana joining their conversation, the conversation Jungkook couldn't care less about right now.
"Jimin and I were talking about what we'd do if we were the only people left on earth," Taehyung quips. "And Jungkook appears to no longer be with us."
Jungkook lets out a scoff, shaking his head in amusement, his eyes still glued to you while you converse with Mai in the distance.
Hana follows his line of sight and subtly rolls her eyes, letting out a soft sigh of frustration. "Kookie, what would you do if you and I were the only people left on earth?"
"Probably buy a gun," he mutters under his breath before walking off in your direction, leaving behind two highly amused friends and an offended Hana.
He makes his way over, sitting down next to you without a word, both of your faces turning into a grin at the mere proximity. "Hey ladies," he murmurs, getting comfortable while a few of the guys play a practice round of volleyball.
"Kook," Mai nods in acknowledgement, her eyes shifting to the water ahead. "I was just saying how hot your friend is."
"Mm, she's okay, I guess," he shrugs with a teasing grin, leaning back on his hands.
"I'm right here you know," you scoff.
"Trust me, I see you."
You're lucky Mai's eyes are on the water a few feet away, because if she were to turn her head and look at Jungkook, she'd see his hand trailing up your thigh, giving your asscheek a quick squeeze before you silently swat it away, a bashful smile on your face. You turn your head to him to mouth a silent 'stop' but he simply shoots you a mischievous wink.
That face paired with that wink gets you, and you might have let him continue if Hoseok hadn't called everyone to start the game of volleyball.
Everyone gathers and divides into two teams on opposite sides of the net, the air already filled with playful bickering and competitive banter. Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and you are on one side, while Namjoon, Mai, Hoseok and Hana are on the other.
The game begins and the competitive spirit sparks, everyone focused on their team winning. When you agreed to play, you didn't expect the game to be so intense, full of spikes, blocks and a few dives. You especially didn't expect to bond this well with his friends, the group making you feel like you've known them for years. You share high-fives and amusing words with his friends every time something exciting happens, feeling the synergy in the air.
Jungkook watches you as you run across the sand to get to the ball, admiring your agility. You certainly make a good team, sharing a bit of a competitive streak. The two of you work together to score against the other team in a tough back and forth, your excitement too much to contain when Namjoon fumbles the ball on their side of the net.
The point given to your team is shoved to the back of your mind when Jungkook rushes over to wrap his arms around your waist, spinning you off your feet. The adrenaline mixed with the contact of his skin on yours sends a dizzying, electrifying feeling through your body. The two of you laugh and cheer while Taehyung and Jimin shout taunts at the other team, the others playfully 'boo'ing and rolling their eyes.
Hana feels her face heat up in a simmering rage of jealousy and frustration, her eyes narrowing as she watches the two of you, the flirty undertones, his winks every time you score, the bashful smiles all starting to grate at her.
"Not fair, ___'s good! I want her on our team," Hana calls out, clearly up to something.
"But-" Jimin is about to protest but she's already made up her mind.
"___, why don't you swap with Hobi for the rest of the game."
"Wha- hey! I thought I was good," Hoseok laughs.
Hana's tone is just a little too sweet. You can feel the shift in her demeanour, and you know it's not just about the game anymore. You glance over at Jungkook, seeing the crease between his eyebrows, the tension in his jaw. It's clear that he is not happy.
"No way, ___'s our star player," Taehyung calls out, playfully nudging your arm, oblivious to the underlying tension.
Hana doesn't back down, her smile turning sly. "Oh whatever, don't be so greedy," she chides, her voice sickly sweet. "Come on, ___."
You don't want to reject her in front of everyone, so you offer her a weak smile, feeling put on the spot. "Sure," you mutter, reluctantly swapping places with Hoseok. You shoot Jungkook a confused look, his expression mirroring yours.
The game starts back up, but Jungkook is still suspicious of her intentions. He knows what she's like, and he can practically see the gears turning in her head.
The game goes on, everyone playing as normal, the vibes more or less okay, until they aren't. Jimin hits the ball in your direction and you run a few quick steps to reach it, when suddenly there's a foot blocking your way, sending you tumbling to the ground, your body landing in the sand, your ankle taking a bit of a beating.
"Oh shit, ___, I'm sorry," Hana gasps, the emotion in her voice not reaching her face. Everyone looks concerned, worried looks crossing their faces.
Jungkook reacts within seconds, sprinting over to you as soon as you hit the sand, his heart racing in his chest, his eyes wide with worry. He crouches down to check on you, his hands gentle as he inspects you for any injuries. "Are you okay? Does anything hurt?"
You look up at his face, seeing the genuine worry in his eyes. "My ankle hurts a bit but-"
Before you can get your sentence out, he's already checking your ankle, looking like a first aider who desperately wants a raise.
"It's fine, really, it's nothing to worry about."
He looks into your eyes, his movements coming to a halt, his chest rising and falling from rushing over to you. He doesn't care that his friends are watching, he doesn't care that his feelings are as clear as day. All he cares about right now is you and your ankle.
"You're sure?"
You nod, slowly getting up. You take a step, but your ankle is tender, causing you to hiss and stumble. Jungkook reaches out to steady you, his hands holding onto your waist, his grip firm.
"___, I think you should rest your ankle, honey," Mai murmurs with a sympathetic smile.
"Yeah, maybe put some ice on it," Namjoon nods, looking concerned.
"I'm sorry. It was an accident," Hana pipes up, a faint, apologetic smile on her face. The apology is almost as fake as her nose.
Jungkook's eyes narrow when he looks over at her, his anger showing clearly on his face. A muscle in his jaw twitches as he bites back a response. As much as he wants to lash out at her for purposefully hurting you, he holds his tongue, not giving her the attention she wants.
"I'm gonna go take her back to the house to get some ice on her ankle," he says, his tone brokering no argument. "You all can continue playing." The rest of the group nods in agreement, their faces filled with sympathy and concern. Hana stays silent.
Your injury really isn't that serious for you to not be able to walk, just causing a little limp, but when Jungkook decides you need to be carried bridal style, you don't protest. You actually have to hold back a giggle when his arm muscles flex as he carries you, quickly composing yourself.
He cradles you against his chest as he takes you back to the house, his grip on you firm but gentle. Once you reach the house, he sets you down on the couch, propping up your ankle with a pillow. He disappears into the kitchen, returning moments later with an ice pack, which he gently applies to your ankle. He takes a seat on the edge of the couch, his eyes fixed on your face, studying your expression for any signs of pain or discomfort.
He notices the small hiss that escapes your lips, his gaze softening as he looks at you, his hand resting on the ice pack, keeping it in place. "Does it hurt?"
"It's just really cold," you chuckle, looking down at the ice pack.
"Cold is better than pain, right?"
"Yeah, cold is better than pain," you smile.
You feel him remove the ice pack, watching him inspect your ankle with so much care, so much tenderness. Seeing him run over as soon as you got hurt, having him take care of you like this...it's a glimpse of the care you haven't allowed yourself to indulge in for a long time.
"Thank you," you whisper as you look up into his eyes, your body language a bit more vulnerable.
His gaze is soft, his expression filled with a tenderness that matches his touch. "Of course."
There's a moment, just a brief one, where time seems to still, his eyes holding yours, the space between you feeling almost electrified with a quiet intimacy.
"You got over there pretty fast," you murmur softly.
"Of course, I was worried about you."
He leans in, his face inching closer to yours, his fingers gently brushing some of your hair out of your face before he cups your cheek in his palm. "I don't ever want to see you hurt...no matter how minor..."
"I'm okay," you whisper, a faint smile on your lips, your nose just barely brushing against his.
"How's the pain?"
"What pain?"
He rolls his eyes, a small huff of amusement leaving his lips. "I'm serious," he whispers, a hint of a smile on his face, his thumb stroking your cheek. "You're sure it's okay?"
"I'm sure." You voice is soft, and the kiss he presses to your lips is even softer, your mouths moving in sync. Your lips might not be able to say everything you're feeling, but the kiss sure does. It's a silent confession that he cares for you and you care for him, more deeply than either of you can put into words.
He pulls back ever so slightly, his forehead resting against yours, his eyes still closed after that kiss, but the sound of the guys returning from the beach is like a cold shower, both of you suddenly pulled back into reality, the moment between you interrupted.
He holds the ice pack firmly against your ankle but his eyes are on your face, trying to read your expression, trying to find even a hint of what you're thinking or feeling. His heart is racing, but he forces himself to appear calm, to mask the flurry of emotions he's going through.
The guys burst through the door, their voices loud and full of laughter, a stark contrast to the quiet and charged atmosphere between you and Jungkook. They're blissfully oblivious to what they've interrupted, their brains still on the beach. They all make sure to check if you're okay, the attention thankfully on your ankle and not on Jungkook's and your flushed cheeks and flustered faces.
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It's around 7pm when you find yourself on the patio, curled up on one of the loveseats, listening to Mai and Jisoo discuss wedding preparations. The sun is halfway set along the horizon, casting pretty pink and orange hues across the sky.
Some of the others have already retired to their rooms, probably knocked out after eating the mountain of dumplings Yoongi made for dinner. You had contemplated speaking to Hana about what happened on the beach, but you ultimately decided against it. You know that her intention was to hurt you, but you're an adult and you refuse to indulge in her petty games.
"Are you stressed out? I know I was when I was getting married," Jisoo chuckles, taking a sip of her tea as she curls up one of the patio sofas.
"Big time," Mai sighs. "Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to finally marry Joon, but wedding planning is a lot more stressful than I thought it would be."
You listen as Mai vents, going on about the caterers, and the venue, and the dress. You're a part of the conversation, but you shift in and out of being emotionally present. Your eyes drift off into the distance, staring out at the water with a distant look on your face, the pain in your ankle long forgotten.
"Joon and I even got into an argument last month because we went over budget...or, well, I went over budget," she scoffs.
"That's normal," Jisoo shrugs, giving her a reassuring smile. "Jin and I had a few arguments throughout the planning. I get it. As long as you don't let the stress come between you."
You might be here physically, but mentally, you've checked out. It's as if your thoughts have grown legs and ran off on their own, taunting you with Jisoo's words.
As long as you don't let the stress come between you.
Jisoo's words take you back to that time in your life, when you thought your life was perfect. It was perfect. You had the man of your dreams, a ring, and the promise of a long life together. Then you 'let the stress come between you'. At least that was Sunghoon's excuse for having sex with a friend of yours. He told you he was stressed out and the wedding planning just became too much for him, and you were always studying for your masters, never giving him the attention he deserved.
It's a strange thing, grieving. To grieve, not a person, but rather a bond that you spent years building with a person, is a feeling you can't quite explain. Grieving the loss of a relationship is not linear. The sadness and the anger come and go. Some days you're completely fine, laughing and going out, feeling like yourself again. Some days you're on your bedroom floor, crying as you clutch onto the wedding dress you never got the wear. You grieve Sunghoon, not because he died, but because that boy you fell for at sixteen no longer exists.
You envy Mai and Namjoon's relationship. It's clear how much they love each other, how much he loves her. It's clear how much he values and respects her, how his eyes don't prioritize anything that isn't her, how kind and gentle he is with her. It's a reminder of the love you once had. The love that was crumpled up and thrown in your face on a random Tuesday evening.
You have to excuse yourself when the feeling starts to get a bit too much, all this wedding-talk making your eyes sting. You go down to the beach, the sand feeling rough beneath your feet, the air much colder now that the sun is fully set. You sit down with your knees held to your chest, your eyes looking out at the water, the waves crashing loudly. It's what your brain sounds like. So, so loud. It's overwhelming and the lump in your throat is starting to hurt.
Then there's a voice behind you and it's like everything goes still, your thoughts finally quieting down.
"There you are," he murmurs, his voice soft and gentle, the sound enough to warm you up in the cold breeze. "Mai and Jisoo said you were out here."
You don't respond, your heart feeling a little lighter when he sits down next to you, his eyes trailing from the water to your face.
"Why are you out here alone, hm?"
"Just...needed some air."
"There's air in the house too, you know."
A faint smile flashes across your face before it fades, your eyes trained straight ahead of you. "It's better to think out here."
"I suppose that's true."
He looks over at you, sensing the sadness in your eyes, in your demeanour. He doesn't know what it is, but he wants to protect you from it. It might be greedy of him, but he wants to pick apart your brain and understand exactly what it is that's burdening you. He wants to know your past, your fears, your regrets. He doesn't want to push, but he wants to be let in.
"___, what's making you so sad?"
You scoff humourlessly. "What makes you think I'm sad?"
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Don't hide from me," he murmurs, looking at you with so much tenderness. "I can't force you to tell me what's bothering you...but I know it's not nothing."
"You think you've got me all figured out, huh?"
"Maybe."
He doesn't even know the half of it.
You stay silent, chewing on your bottom lip. You can't lie to him, and that kinda scares you. It scares you that you feel so strongly for him, strong enough to want to completely bare your soul for him.
"Listening to Mai and Jisoo talk about the wedding...it reminded me of..."
He doesn't rush you. He lets you take your time, holding his breath as he waits, sensing you want to open up about whatever it is that's weighing so heavily on your shoulders.
"It reminded me of a love I lost years ago..."
He isn't sure exactly what he feels. A part of him is relieved that you're finally letting him in, finally showing him this vulnerability. It's all he's ever wanted, yet the thought of a man hurting you, a man who once had the privilege of loving you (the privilege he so desperately longs for) and still throwing that away...it makes his head spin. This is the first time he's heard of you being with anyone in the past, and it reminds him of how little you've actually shared with him about yourself and your past.
"Do you...want to tell me about it?" He keeps his voice low, not wanting to speak too loudly in fear of scaring you away.
You take a deep breath before speaking.
"He was my first love...we met in high school. We were together for...a long time," you murmur, looking down at a vague spot in the sand. "And he cheated on me."
You don't tell him everything, just enough for him to get an understanding without sharing too much.
Your confession almost knocks the air out of his lungs, his brows furrowing, his eyes growing wide. He's angry. He's furious at the man who dared to betray you like that, he's confused why anyone would do something like that to a woman like you. He's sad, so terribly sad that you had to go through that. He can't imagine what that must have felt like, the pain you must have gone through. It pains him to think about you ever being hurt like that.
"___, I'm so sorry," he whispers, slowly inching closer to you.
"Don't be," you murmur, the faint smile on your lips not quite reaching your eyes. "It was a long time ago."
"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. ___, you deserve...everything. You deserve someone who wakes up everyday and feels blessed to have you, who would go to the ends of the earth for you..."
There's a pause, the air feeling thick.
"You deserve a man who loves you with all his heart."
His words fade into a quiet whisper, as if he's just bared his deepest secrets. He looks at the side of your face, his heart pounding in his chest.
"___," he whispers, practically begging you to look at him.
Your gaze meets his, your eyes shining with a thin sheen of unshed tears. His words hold so much feeling, so much desperation.
"Yes?" It's almost too soft to reach his ears, your voice trembling.
He leans in, his face inching closer, his fingers gently brushing your hair behind your ear.
"If you were mine...really mine..." He takes a sharp inhale through his nose, his eyes boring into yours. "I'd never break your heart."
It's like a dam breaks.
You close the gap between you, pressing your lips to his, your eyes squeezing shut, a tear finally rolling down your cheek, quickly being brushed away by his thumb. You crawl into his lap, the kiss growing passionate, your fingers sliding up into his hair, gripping onto his strands to steady yourself. You feel everything and nothing and all that is in between.
You love him. You really do, and it took you four years of knowing him to admit it to yourself. It's scary and it's uncertain, but it's love and it's real and you can't keep running from it.
It makes you shiver, the overwhelming feeling mixed with the cold evening air.
"Are you cold?" He asks, pulling away to look into your eyes, his thumbs gently stroking your cheeks.
"A little."
"Why don't we get you in a nice warm shower?"
You know what his suggestion implies, and you can't deny yourself of the pleasures of loving him and letting him love you.
"Okay."
You get up and make your way back to the house. It's completely still, everyone else already in their rooms. Jungkook leads you to your room and shuts the door, locking it for good measure. He looks over at you, the two of you silently communicating that you want this. He crosses the room and takes your face in his hands, crashing his lips into yours.
You walk backwards to the en-suite, pulling away only for him to open the shower door and turn the water on, the hot water slowly filling the room with steam. He turns back to you, searching your eyes for any hesitation.
"Are you coming in with me?" Your voice gives away your desires, your eyes begging him to give you what you want.
"Do you want me to?"
"I do," you murmur, leaning in to press a few quick pecks to his lips. You pull away and hold your arms up, a faint smile playing on your lips.
He gets the hint and reaches for the hem of your top, slowly pulling it up over your head, with big smiles spread across both of your faces. He reaches behind you to undo your bra, slowly sliding the material down your shoulders, letting it fall to the ground as he presses soft kisses to your collarbones. He kisses down your body until he is kneeling before you, his eyes trailing up to your face. "God, you're gorgeous," he mutters softly, hooking his fingers into the sides of your pants, pulling the fabric down your legs.
He presses a gentle peck to your lower stomach beneath your belly button, sending a shiver down your spine. He slowly pulls your panties down, tossing it aside with the rest of your clothes.
He stands up straight and smiles as you start undressing him, pulling his shirt over his head before moving onto his pants and boxers, letting the clothing pool at his feet.
He presses his lips to yours and leads you into the shower, the warm water cascading down your bodies. You wrap your arms around his neck, playing with the wet hair at the base of his neck. "I thought we were waiting until we got home," he whispers, a smile tugging at his lips.
"I'm tired of waiting," you whisper, moaning as he kisses down your neck.
His hands slide over your body, the water making everything slick, his fingers tracing along your curves. He pulls your body against his, his mouth moving up your neck to your ear, where he takes your earlobe into his mouth. "I'm gonna make you feel so good...gonna make you forget all about that other asshole."
He gently presses you up against the shower wall, kissing a line down the side of your neck. He holds onto your waist to steady you while his other hand finds its way between your legs, running his middle finger through your folds.
"So wet, baby," he mumbles into your neck, his voice a low rumble.
He gathers some of your slick on his fingers and starts rubbing slow circles over your clit. You moan softly and tilt your head back against the wall, your fingers gripping his biceps. He makes sure you're wet enough before sliding a finger into your pussy, slowly thrusting it in and out.
"F-fuck," you moan, your eyes fluttering shut.
"That feel good, baby?"
You nod.
"Want another?"
"Mhmm," you sigh blissfully, feeling him insert a second finger, his lips and tongue attached to your neck.
He groans at the sound of your slick, his fingers moving in a 'come here' motion, pulling soft moans and sighs from your lips. "You like that?" he mumbles, his voice a little deeper, his breathing a little ragged.
"Y-yeah," you manage to breathe out, your eyes squeezing shut and your eyebrows furrowing as the pleasure builds. Your nails dig into his biceps when his fingers pick up the pace, the knot in your stomach starting to tighten.
"Gonna...c-cum..."
He smiles against your neck as starts rubbing circles over your clit with his thumb, his middle and ring finger moving faster. "Cum for me, baby."
Your muscles tense up as the knot unravels, your orgasm washing over you with a loud moan. He slows his fingers, helping you through it by easing the pressure on your clit. "You did so good for me," he whispers, pressing a kiss to your lips, his tongue licking into your mouth.
You hand trails down his abdomen until it reaches its destination, wrapping your fingers around his semi-hard cock. He moans into the kiss, slipping his fingers out of your pussy to grip your hips, needing something to ground him while you stroke his cock.
"Wanna make you feel good," you whisper into the kiss, trailing your lips down his chin and neck, moving lower until you're down on your knees in front of him.
He looks down at you with his bottom lip caught between his teeth, his stomach muscles tensing in anticipation. He slides his fingers through your wet hair, resting his free hand against the wall. He watches as you part your lips, his cock twitching in excitement.
"Gonna take it like a good girl?"
You nod up at him before pressing a teasing kiss to the tip, listening to the soft moan that falls from his lips. You start stroking the shaft, batting your eyelashes up at him.
"Fuck, that feels good," he sighs, taking hold of your chin, pushing his thumb into your mouth. He groans as you swirl your tongue around it, the way you would with his cock.
You suck on his thumb, making sure to hold eye contact while you stroke his cock, the tip already starting to leak a bit of pre-cum. Once you get him fully hard, you release his thumb from your mouth and replace it with his cock, feeling the delicious weight on your tongue.
He watches as you start sucking him, focusing your tongue on the head before taking him all the way to the back of your throat, pulling a deep groan from his throat. He fists his hand in your hair, letting out shaky breaths as the pleasure flows through him. You're a sight to see, with wet hair and a mouth full of cock.
He can't decide if he wants to cum down your throat or fuck you against the wall. He likes the sound of the latter.
"Baby...b-baby, stop," he mutters breathlessly, tugging at your hair to get you to release him from your mouth.
"What's wrong?"
"I need to be inside you," he breathes, helping you up before he slides his hands to the back of your thighs, lifting you up in one swift motion. "Need this pussy," he mutters, pressing you against the wall to grind his cock against your sopping folds.
You wrap your arms around his neck, moaning as he grinds into you, welcoming his lips against yours. He reaches down to align his cock with your entrance, slowly pushing into you with a guttural moan.
"F-fucking Christ, you feel so good," he groans, his fingers digging into your thighs as he starts thrusting into you, his cock filling you up like nothing and no one else can.
Having him inside you is something you'll never get tired of, his cock fitting in you like you were moulded just for him. You were made for him, and he was made for you. His thrusts make your head spin, the steam coming from the shower making everything feel more romantic, more intense.
"You're perfect," he sighs, his voice almost too quiet to hear if it weren't for the fact that his words are whispered directly into your ear. "So...so beautiful..."
All you can do in return is moan and whimper as his thrusts get deeper, the pleasure getting stronger. You lose all ability to form a coherent sentence, your eyes squeezing shut as he pounds into you. He slides his tongue into your mouth, gently digging his teeth into your bottom lip, giving it a little tug.
His thrusts start getting faster, sloppier, an indication of his impending high. Your own orgasm starts creeping closer, his cock hitting that special spot inside you that makes you turn to mush. "Oh my God, don't stop...so...so close..."
"Me too, baby...gonna cum s-so hard..."
He thrusts harder, hitting that same spot over and over again, his nails digging into your flesh. The coil in your stomach tightens, threatening to snap with each deep thrust. The air is thick with passion and desire, your body trembling in his hold, your moans bouncing off the wet bathroom walls.
"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," he groans deeply, holding onto your thigh while his free arm wraps around your waist, holding onto you like you're his oxygen supply. "Oh f-fuck, ___!"
A few sloppy thrusts and your walls start spasming around his cock, triggering his orgasm. He paints your walls with thick white ropes of pleasure, his arms clutching your body like you might disappear into thin air.
"Holy sh-shit," he sighs, both of you slowly coming down from your high, giving you a few slow thrusts before pulling out, letting his cum leak out of you.
You're completely spent, smiling like a giddy schoolgirl, your cheeks flushed, your heart hammering in your chest. The warm water runs over your bodies, slowly bringing your brain back down to earth. "Let's just stay like this for a little while," you whisper, cupping his cheeks in your hands before pressing a light kiss to his swollen lips.
"Okay," he smiles, pressing soft pecks over your cheeks, your nose, your chin. He brushes some of your wet hair out of your face, looking at you like you hung the stars in his sky.
He slowly puts you down and reaches for your body wash, lathering some on your loofah. You're about to take it from him but he stops you. "Let me."
You look up into his eyes, seeing how much this means to him. Sex is one thing, but what you do after says everything. He doesn't just want the sex, and neither do you. He doesn't want this moment to end here, and neither do you, so you let him lather your body in the fragrant body wash because this is about so much more than sex.
He washes you with so much care, making sure the soap reaches every inch of your body. The last man you let wash you after sex was Sunghoon, but with Jungkook it somehow feels different. His hands are softer, he touches you more gently, and his gaze travels down your body like you're a work of art and he is lucky enough to get to lay his eyes upon you. It's difficult to just forget about the past and the heartbreak, but in this moment with Jungkook, you want to try to take the steps to move forward.
You rinse yourself off under the hot stream of water before taking his loofah from the shower hook and lathering it with your body wash, returning the favour. You run the soapy loofah over his body, running your free hand over his muscles, a soft smile settling onto both of your faces. You run your hand over his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath the firm flesh. You lean in and press a soft kiss to the area, kissing all the way up to his lips.
The two of you stay like that for a while, just kissing under the warm water, the steam surrounding your bodies, partially blurring your vision. This level of intimacy feels so different and new to the two of you, and yet it feels so right, like you were always meant to be with him like this, like you were born to be loved by him.
You love him, and it feels like too big of a mouthful to say in this moment, too heavy on your tongue, too frightening for your brain to comprehend, so you keep it stored away for the time being. Admitting it to yourself is enough for now.
You stand kissing under the water until it starts turning cold, so you turn it off and step out. He dries you off with a fresh towel before moving onto himself, letting you dry his hair with your hairdryer. The two of you get ready for bed together, which again, is new for you. You stand next to him and brush your teeth, stealing glances at him in the mirror every chance you get.
You change into a t-shirt and panties and slip into bed with him, facing him while he languidly rubs your back beneath your shirt, his body bare except for a fresh pair of boxers. He smells like your body wash, like his skin has been stained by you.
"___, about what I said on the beach," he murmurs, chewing on his bottom lip.
"What about it?" you ask nervously, seeking his eyes for any sign that he regrets it.
"I meant every word I said," he whispers, leaning in to nudge his nose against yours.
"I know, Jungkook," you murmur, your voice barely reaching his ears before your lips seek out his in the dark room.
He kisses you until you're too sleepy to kiss back anymore, and when you fall asleep in his arms without protesting, your face reflecting how peaceful you feel, he finally rests. He knows what you're too afraid to say out loud, and he doesn't need to hear it from your lips to know that it's real.
He will continue to love you in silence until you're ready to be loved out loud.
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The next morning, you wake up to sound of the waves crashing, the birds chirping, and the feeling of the sun on your face and Jungkook's lips on your cheek. You have to admit it's a damn good way to wake up.
"Morning," he mumbles, his voice still laced with sleep, the deep rumble going straight through your body. You've never had a thing for the 'morning voice' guys tend to exaggerate to sound sexy, but damn. He could read your grocery list after waking up and you'd get down on your knees for him.
"Morning," you smile, your eyes still feeling too heavy to open fully.
"How'd you sleep?"
"Really good," you murmur softly, holding the side of his jaw in the palm of your hand, feeling his warm skin. "You?"
"I slept amazing last night," he grins, his hand slowly sliding down your thigh to hook it over his hip, letting you feel his bulge.
At that, your eyes open, letting out a sleepy chuckle. "Someone's up early," you tease. "Is 'little Jungkook' excited to see me?"
"Don't call him little, it'll hurt his feelings," he groans, pressing his face into your neck as he rolls you onto your back, laying his weight on you. He presses a few lazy kisses to your neck, slowly grinding his hips into you. "He's big and manly."
"Oh, I'm sorry," you murmur, sighing as the head of his cock rubs over your clit through the thin fabric of your underwear. You loosely wrap your arms around his neck, letting your eyes flutter shut once more. "Maybe his lady friend can apologize for me."
"Yeah? Is she awake?"
"Mm...she's definitely awake."
"I should get her ready first," he whispers, pressing a final kiss to your neck before pulling away to pull your t-shirt over your head, tossing it aside.
"She's a little lower down, you know," you chuckle, biting your bottom lip as he starts kissing your breasts, enveloping a nipple in his warm, wet mouth.
"I know," he mumbles with your nipple in his mouth, giving it a suck and a little nibble before switching to the other side. "I just wanted to give my girls some attention too."
"Your...your girls?" You sigh in pleasure as he sucks on your nipple, running your fingers through his messy hair.
"Mm...my precious babies," he smiles, planting a kiss to your sternum before making his descent down your body, his head disappearing under the duvet.
He spreads your thighs to accommodate his shoulders, not bothering to remove your panties. He simply pulls them aside and starts pressing soft, feather-like kisses to your clit. He knows you're still sleepy, and he is too, so he takes his time, languidly licking and sucking on your clit before sliding his tongue through your slick folds, gathering some of your essence on his tongue.
"Fuck, you taste good in the morning." His voice is muffled against your pussy, the duvet drowning most of the sound, but it reaches your ears and it makes your walls clench.
He flicks and swirls his tongue around your clit, pulling moan after moan from your lips, your back arching off the mattress as he eats you out. You're not sure why, but cunnilingus feels even better when you're sleepy.
Soon enough, you're cumming on his tongue, lacking the energy to last any longer than necessary.
He crawls up to stick his head out from under the duvet, his tongue darting out to lick your slick off of his lips. "Love the taste of your pussy in the morning."
"Jesus Christ," you laugh, your cheeks still flushed from your orgasm and his filthy words. "Do you have to be so vulgar?"
"I absolutely have to be so vulgar, yes."
He kisses you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. It's early and neither one of you have gotten up yet to brush your teeth, but you don't care. You kinda like the way he tastes in the morning. It's natural, it's unfiltered and, you dare say; romantic. It makes your body heat up at the thought alone.
Morning sex is always a treat, a rarity for you and him. It's slower, and softer, and you don't have to think too much because your body just does what feels good. When Jungkook pushes his cock into you and presses his lips to yours to swallow your moans, you feel like you're on cloud nine.
"You're so pretty," he whispers into your ear, his voice deep and low, his hands sliding into yours to intertwine your fingers next to your head.
"You too," you sigh, your eyes rolling back into your head as he thrusts, making sure to roll his hips slowly and deeply.
"You think I'm pretty?" he grins faintly, keeping the pace nice and languid.
"S-so pretty..."
Your words pull a soft groan from within his chest, his face smooshed against your neck.
It doesn't feel like he's fucking you, but rather making love. There's no rush, the house still completely quiet in the early hours of the morning, giving him over enough time to pleasure you. The sun shines through the window, heating the skin of his bare back. His hair stands up in all directions from sleep, making him look extra soft and fluffy. He's so much more than pretty when you open your eyes to look at him. He's magnificent.
He kisses your lips as his thrusts pick up momentum, his body chasing his high. He reaches a hand down to rub circles over your clit, wanting you to finish with him, and as good as you feel, and as close as you are to cumming, you don't even care about that right now. All you care about is getting to share this intimacy with him.
He presses your body into the mattress when he cums, his arms wrapping firmly around your waist, his cock throbbing inside you.
You slide your hands around him, rubbing the skin of his back to soothe him, feeling the way his muscles flex beneath your palms.
His chest rises and falls unevenly, his whole body trembling, the feeling of pure bliss coursing through his veins. "Damn," he mumbles, his voice rough from his ragged breaths. "I might have just ejaculated my soul out of my body."
"That good?"
"So good," he chuckles, still a little breathless. "Wanna go take a shower?"
"Together?"
He leans on his elbows, looking down at you with a sheepish smile. "Yeah. Together."
You smile and push his frazzled hair out of his face, feeling your heart start to beat faster. "Okay."
The two of you take that shower together, sneaking in a few soft kisses and slow touches, trying your best not to get carried away. You kiss while you dry yourselves off and get dressed, and you kiss after brushing your teeth, and then before leaving your room to have breakfast with the rest of his friends, making sure to get in as many kisses before you have to be his "friend" again.
A part of you is sad to be leaving Jeju, but it's not the beach or the house you'll miss, although both of those things were quite nice. Instead, you'll miss opening your eyes in the morning and turning your head to see him next to you. You know that once you get home, you won't have any excuse to wake up next to him except for the fact that you're in love with him and you want to spend your mornings, your afternoons and your nights with him. That would just be insane to tell him that, so you won't, yet it's all you can think about on the plane ride back to Seoul.
He drives you home from the airport and carries your suitcase up to your apartment, handing it back to you at the door. You open the front door and walk in, expecting him to join you, but he doesn't.
"You coming in?"
"I want to but I should really get home to Bam," he sighs, giving you an apologetic smile.
That shouldn't disappoint you as much as it does. You understand, you love Bam and you know he needs his dad, even if you need his dad too.
"Right...yeah...I have to go get Miso from Jihyo's place anyway, so..."
He watches you as you try to hide your disappointment, an amused smile spreading across his face.
"Don't pout, baby," he teases.
"I'm not pouting," you scoff, rolling your eyes. "You should go, Bam-ie's waiting for you."
"Okay," he smiles, not making a move to leave just yet. "Can I get a kiss?"
"I don't know, can you?"
He scoffs and steps forward, cupping your face and pressing a few quick kisses to your mouth. "Before I leave," he murmurs against your lips. "I have a question I've been meaning to ask you."
"What is it?"
"Will you be my date to Joon and Mai's wedding?"
Your disappointment is replaced with surprise and an overwhelming heat that starts to spread throughout your chest, bringing a flush to your cheeks.
"O-okay," you murmur shyly, feeling your heart rate pick up.
"Yeah? Gonna wear a pretty dress for me?"
His smile and his words almost turn your knees to jello, but you manage to keep yourself composed, at least on the outside.
"Yeah."
"You gonna let me take the pretty dress off afterwards?"
"Yeah," you whisper, smiling as he presses another lingering kiss to your mouth, your hands holding onto his shirt to steady yourself.
"Good. I'll see you later, yeah?" He nudges your nose with his, his smile not faltering as he pulls away, sliding his hand down your arm until it reaches your hand, giving it a little squeeze before slowly releasing it.
"Yeah...see you later," you smile, watching him walk down the hall.
He walks until he reaches the elevator, pressing the button and stepping inside. He turns around to look at you down the hall, blowing you a quick kiss as the doors close. You have to wait until the elevator is fully closed before you let out a squeal, feeling like you're sixteen again.
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< Part 4 || Part 6 >>
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mossy-aro ¡ 2 months ago
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Aspec Video Essay Masterpost
This is a resource masterpost intending to compile together the video essays pertaining to asexuality and aromanticism and affiliated topics online! I'm only going to be including videos that are 15+ minutes long (to qualify as a 'video essay') - of course if anyone has suggestions please feel free to contribute! This is a community project!
Compulsory Sexuality, Comphet & Asexual Alienation by Evie Lupine - slightly less of a video essay and more chatty but she does talk about academic articles on compulsory sexuality. She also did a podcast episode with @theacecouple (here: Asexuality and Kink ft. Evie Lupine) which was very interesting!
Amatonormativity by Tara Mooknee - one I've recced on here before! Definitely a bit 101 and aimed at an allo audience but still worth a watch!
The hell of "sad singles" set ups & the need for found family by Bryony Claire - sent to me! I'm afraid I haven't seen it yet.
is love a social construct? by oliSUNvia - recommended to me by a friend! Again, I haven’t watched it yet but I know pertains to the wider discourse around romantic love + amatonormativity.
Are Aromantic and Asexual Representation Queer Enough? (Buddy Daddies) by VIKA - I haven't seen this series but it's an aspec reading / analysis on the main relationship in the show!
How Romance Paths in Games Fail Asexual Players (and How to Fix it) by DarkTeaTime - sent to me! I haven’t seen it yet but it’s about asexual players + gaming :) for some reason it won’t let me embed the url but someone has left a link in the notes down below!!
Rowan Ellis has a few here:
the chronically online state of asexual discourse - I've recced this one before on this blog and I still highly recommend it!
The Rise of Asexual Representation
They've also done an interview with Alice Oseman about aspec representation but it's more of a discussion than a video essay, so I haven't included it.
Spacey Aces (their entire channel is dedicated to discussing aspec topics so check that out if that interests you!) - most of their content is more chat/101 focused and not so much video essay-y but I've picked two which I think qualify:
A-specs vs Amatonormative Media (and the world)
Lavender Marriage | a history of purple and relationship anarchy in the queer community
David J Bradley has quite a few essays, here:
Alone. Not Alive. | A Queer Reading Of Company
Sherlock Holmes: Asexual Icon
That One Time House Cured Asexuality
Maybe You Haven't Met The Right Person Yet | An Asexual Video Essay
Asexuals and Sex - more of an explanatory 101 video but still felt like I should include it!
Meghan Sandor has some here:
Polyamory, Relationship Anarchy & Queerplatonic Partnerships: Are They Really the Same Thing?
Asexuality and Kink: Why Do So Many Aces Love It?
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where-is-moon-big ¡ 2 months ago
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Please read - regarding Stress and Iskall, and being a good member of a fandom
Gonna make a similar post to this on all of my mcyt gimmick blogs so it reaches a wider audience.
Most of you probably have heard about the information regarding Stress and Iskall. If you haven't, the official Hermitcraft twitter made a post, see it here:
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We don't know much, and it isn't our business yet. I want to remind everybody not to assume the worst. You may speculate but with the amount of misinformation already spreading around, be careful saying anything before fact checking.
For the time being, I will not be posting anything else to do with Iskall or Stress on any of my blogs. I may make another post when/if more information comes out to clear up my views on this.
But please, do not spread misinformation or pry at the Hermits. It isn't going to be good for our or their mental health. If we assume the best then we can get through this as a fandom without feelings being hurt.
Take care of yourself and do your own research before making claims.
Thank you for your time.
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anakinstwinklebunny ¡ 6 months ago
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DILF!ANAKIN HEADCANONS 🍷
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TW: at some point it contains crazy sexual content, so if you're feeling uncomfortable with it, please do not read it for your own safety and comfort 💓 shout-out to @slutforfinnickodair that helped me, check her blog out! She's amazing (just like my every mutual 😼) obvious age gap (reader is younger), pet names like..you'll see yourself, ALSO BUNNY COSTUME EVERYONE!!
Dilf!Anakin who was very desperate to have you. The first time he had seen you was in the luxury restaurant he and his friends went and he'd be lying if his eyes weren't wandering towards your moving body through the tables. And since that time he decided to make you his
Dilf!Anakin who came to this restaurant way to many times so he could see you
Dilf!Anakin who, when found out where you live, send bouquets of crimson red roses with small notes (after, of course, you had a few interacts with him due to his often appearance at your work place)
Dilf!Anakin who spoils you rotten after you two got together
Dilf!Anakin who obviously doesn't care about the age gap between you two but he sees it in daily life; you using phrases he doesn't heard of or doesn't understand
Dilf!Anakin who is more experienced in finances than you so you use his help a lot
Dilf!Anakin who's extremely protective. Would make sure you're okay wherever you go and that no man dares to touch you or speak to you in a way that makes you uncomfortable
Dilf!Anakin who's a way better cook than you are (at least not in cookies, cakes and things that in general are sweet)
Dilf!Anakin who's the best cuddler; you often fall asleep in his arms/on his lap
Dilf!Anakin who makes you absolutely needy after leaving for business trip;
anakin gasped in surprise, taken back by the intensity of your sudden kiss. He just got home from the three day trip. He knew you've missed him dearly (like always) and he knew he left you in..specific state. But what he didn't know was that you're gonna throw yourself on him the second he opens the doors
your hands pulled on his tie to bring him closer and he had to hold back a groan. A surge of desire ran through him as he returned the kiss with equal fervor, your lips hungrily exploring each other
"wait--" he chuckled, breaking the kiss briefly. he took a step back, his fingers lingering on your skin for a moment before fully closing the doors. His eyes fell back at your desperate and impatient self, wearing specific (but his favorite) costume. He clenched his jaw at the sight before taking off his outside clothes
"i can't wait more" you whined, desperately reaching for his black tie again
anakin couldn't help but give in to your needy plea, unable to resist you. Just looking at your wide, helpless eyes was enough to make him agree on anything. Especially when you were practically begging for it. You may didn't know this, but the power you held over him was insane. His heart and stomach flipped at the sight of you in your bunny costume once more before he chuckled
"naughty bunny" he murmured teasingly "i haven't even been inside for five minutes, and you're already all over me"
"please" you whined again and pulled on his tie to bring your lips together once more
your desperate whine went straight to his core, making him groan softly. He reluctantly gave in to the growing ache for you "you're gonna ruin my tie, bunny" he murmured against your lips
"you have so many more of them" you retorted
his deep chuckle filled your ears and your cheeks flushed "such a needy, greedy bunny" his lips trailed down your jaw. It did not help with the throbbing feeling that appeared down your body "what should i do with you, hm?"
"touch me..please" you pleaded
leaning down, he brought his lips to your ear and whispered in a low, sensual voice "oh sweetheart..i'll touch you everywhere"
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anakin's long fingers worked to untie your bunny costume. But for your liking, he was doing it awfully long "just hurry up" you urged
he grinned with the chuckle following right behind it "patience.." he finally removed the last knot "i like unwrapping my gifts with care.."
Dilf!Anakin who has beautifully hot morning voice;
It was early Saturday morning, six a.m. Anakin was already up and in the kitchen, his curls a tousled mess and he was still dressed in his pajamas. It was awful to wake up at such hour in the weekend but he completely forgot to turn off his everyday alarm. He did try to fall asleep once more, however he couldn't. And it was killing him.
Opening the fridge, he scanned the shelves but found nothing appealing. He moved to the food cabinet, rifling through various boxes and cans, but nothing seemed to catch his eye. Maybe he just didn't have an appetite? Even if, his movements were slow and groggy, the early hour weighing heavily on him. The sudden burst of need for caffeine became, in time, undeniable.
With a sigh of resignation, Anakin decided to go with something he actually had a craving for. He filled the kettle, set it to boil, and prepared the coffee grounds, the familiar routine helping to shake off the last remnants of sleep. The rich aroma began to fill the kitchen, offering the promise of wakefulness and a clearer mind to tackle the search for breakfast.
When he heard the steps against the wooden floor, his head twisted towards the sound. His expression immediately softened at the sight of you; still sleepy and half-awake. He smiled softly, thinking to himself how adorable you looked when you were just waking up. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” Anakin greeted you in a raspy, deep voice, his eyes lingering on your beautiful figure.
That voice was one of the many things you were obsessed about. It was undeniably one of the hottest things about him. He leaned against the counter, waiting for the coffee to brew. You didn’t say anything back and wrapped your arms around his waist while he grabbed his coffee.
“Feeling needy this morning, hm?” he teased gently as you let yourself nuzzle to his chest. You were tired, you were hungry and such combo only made you clinger than you often are
His lips curled into a small smirk when his free arm wrapped around your waist. His lips (before taking a sip from his mug) pressed a kiss on the top of your head “Such a needy little girl…” he murmured affectionately
"Can I have a sip?" you looked up at him, your chin pressing against his chest.
He raised an eyebrow in amusement, glancing back down at you. “You hate my coffee,” he chuckled, his thumb caressing your waist over your pajamas.
“Yeah, I hate your bitter coffee,” you admitted with a playful smile
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His arms wrapped gently around your waist, pulling you closer until your bodies were pressed together. His lips brushed softly against the side of your neck, and his nose nuzzled there, taking in your familiar, comforting scent. It was something he loved inhaling deeply, a scent that seemed to ground him and give him strength to face the day.
“Anything interesting in the fridge?” his breath warm on your skin before he placed a tender kiss there.
And again, this damn voice..
"Maybe scrambled eggs? Or pancakes... Are you hungry?" you cleared your throat to shake away your dirty thoughts. His voice really could do magic on you, like nothing else
He hummed in thought, contemplating your suggestion before placing another kiss. Then another, and another “For you? Always,” he joked, gently spinning you around to face him, to which you gasped at the sudden situation; the fridge's doors closing smoothly behind you
"You know I didn't mean that"
He smirked, a chuckle escaping him, and you could see his adam apple going up and down.
Gods..
Leaning down to your ear, his lips lightly brushed the edge of it “But I did,” he said in a low, deep voice, filled with innuendo.
"ani--" you shivered after his large hands slid under your shirt to grope on your breasts
"shh..relax..let me have my breakfast" he whispered
"you're impossible"
He used the closed fridge doors and pressed you against them to lean back towards your neck
so that's how you're gonna spend your morning
you let out a small moan when his lips touched the sweet spot on your skin and reached with your hands to tangle your fingers in his curls "that's how we're gonna spend our breakfast?"
"absolutely" his voice dripping with mischief "and lunch.." his mouth traveled up to your jaw "..and dinner"
"what about dessert?"
"dessert is definitely included"
Dilf!Anakin who prided himself on making the best hot chocolate; it was a small tradition passed down from his mother who often made him one when he was a kid
Dilf!Anakin who's work ends the second you step into his office
Dilf!Anakin who takes you shopping;
Anakin was sitting on the leather couch in Victoria's Secret's changing room, dressed sharply in his business suit as he waited for you to try on the set of lingerie you had picked out.
Usually, Anakin found these stores mind-numbingly boring, but this time was different. This time, anticipation thrummed through him as he waited for you to step out of the dressing room and show him the lingerie and make the experience far more entertaining.
you pushed the curtain aside, revealing yourself in the tight, black lingerie that hugged your curves perfectly and accentuated your cleavage
anakin's eyes moved to your body, to which his breath hitched at the sight. For a moment, he was speechless. Simply swallowing the growing arousal he began feeling "you look...gorgeous" he finally managed to say, though the word felt like a massive understatement in his eyes
your smile widened "yeah? What about the backside?" you turned around so his eyes could catch the sight of your plump bottom perfectly highlighted by the dark material
anakin was rendered speechless again; his eyes roved over your figure once more but for him, it wasn't enough. He wanted to just sit peacefully and watch you even for an entire day and he would never get tired "gorgeous, absolutely beautiful"
he stood up, stepping inside your small changing space. He closed the curtain behind him and moved closer, taking, one more time, the sight of your incredible body in mirror's reflection. His intense gaze made your cheeks flush and you felt his arms wrap around your waist before his chin rested on your shoulder
"how could i resist you like this?" he murmured and began brushing his lips against your shoulder "look at you..such a beautiful girl..do you like it?"
"it's pretty..i like the material"
"it looks amazing on you" he complimented
"yeah?" you grinned
he hummed "it shows your curves so well" his large hands began to move up to your chest, his thumbs caressing the delicate skin of your cleavage that only ignited the fire up to your cheeks
his fingers then moved to the straps of the lingerie, pulling on them back and forth "you want it? i can buy it for you..or do you want something else?" he tried to keep his focus on you and not your body
you turned around to face him "what about this lacy bra?" you suggested with your eyes sparkling with mix of excitement and mischief as your hands rested on his chest
his lips tugged into a smirk and he raised his brow "yeah? you want that?"
"can i?"
"you can have everything you want" he gently squeezed your hips to emphasize his words "you know i can't say no to you, sweetheart"
Dilf!Anakin who often takes a shower with you. When you're too tired to do anything, he helps you clean yourself. Or things just get spicy under the running water
Dilf!Anakin who 'hates' when you tease him during the important calls/meetings (mostly online)
Dilf!Anakin who you tease at the family dinner;
It was Anakin's family dinner, and of course, you were invited. His family was amazing and they loved you as their own. However, the conversations sometimes became a bit dull for you. Remembering the intimate pictures you once had taken, you quietly took out your phone and decided to tease the love of your life.
Anakin was in the middle of an animated discussion when his phone suddenly buzzed. He furrowed his brows slightly as he discreetly reached into his pocket and pulled it out after saying the small 'im sorry'. Unlocking it with his passcode, he glanced at the new message. At first, he thought it was from work, he awaited the message about another contract with big company. However when he saw it was your name at the notification, he was confused. Couldn't you just say it to him right now? But when he saw the provocative picture, his expression shifted instantly to the one of flushed pink
He looked up at you from across the table with his eyes widening with surprise and a spark of excitement. You caught his gaze and tried to hide your mischievous smile with your hand
He was trying so hard not to get distracted, but that picture did something to him. He didn't know if it was the fact that everyone was around and he couldn't do anything or the fact that you had sent him something like that, knowing it would drive him crazy.
He did his best to act normal, keeping the conversation going, but in reality, he was dying to get his hands on you as soon as possible.
Setting his phone back down, he tried to act cool but he couldn't keep his heart from pounding in his chest. His fingers drummed impatiently on the table, and he stole glances at you time to time
Achieving your main goal, you sent another picture, this one even more provocative to make him even more desperate to end this dinner
Anakin almost choked on his water as the image appeared on his phone. His breath hitched as he took in the sight. Seeing you sitting so casually across the table, acting as if nothing had happened, was driving him insane.
"Ani, is everything alright?" Shmi, his mother, asked worriedly.
Anakin swallowed the liquid and took a deep breath, trying to compose himself once more "I'm-I'm alright. Just swallowed the wrong way," he said, his voice a bit strained. He discreetly put his phone back into his pocket and shot you a sharp look across the table, almost as if promising retribution.
Anakin tried to focus on the conversation, he really did. But it was impossible with the second picture. His thoughts were consumed by you and the images you had sent, leaving him barely able to pay attention. His expression betrayed his frustration with his mind slowly unraveling.
You were proud of yourself. Making your lovely man in such conflict with himself was more pleasant than you thought it would. So, as your mother kept saying - 'three times a charm' - you snuck in yet another picture, this one much spicier, with your hands squeezing your full breasts and your legs spread
Anakin almost immediately opened the message. His eyes widened, and he almost flinched at the photo. He looked at you again, the fire in his eyes growing darker "I—Excuse me for a second," he said quickly, rising from his seat. His steps were quick as he walked away from the table, heading to the bathroom to cool down.
Everyone watched Anakin leave, and Shmi's face was filled with worry for her son.
"Is he alright?" Shmi asked, concern evident in her voice.
"He must have just needed some air," you replied with a casual smile, masking your smirk with a glass of water.
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Anakin walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He pulled out his phone again and looked at the latest text he received. He let out a shaky breath, trying to calm down, but the picture made it nearly impossible. His breathing was shallow, and his body was reacting intensely to the image. "You damn little tease," he muttered through his teeth, his hands gripping the sink to control himself.
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Shmi turned to you with her concern evident. "Sweetie, maybe you should check if everything's alright. He looked pale."
"Of course," you replied, rising from your seat to head upstairs where Anakin had gone. When you reached the bathroom door, you knocked softly. "Ani, are you alright?" you asked
But before you could finish, he pulled you inside and pinned you to the wall. Anakin quickly closed the door behind you, trapping you between the wall and his tall, broad frame. His eyes were dark with desire and frustration "You," he said, your name leaving his lips like a curse and a plea, "You damn tease."
"I—I don't know what you're talking about," you mumbled innocently.
"Bullshit. Yes you do."
His face was just inches away from yours and his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your breath hitch.
"You knew damn well what you were doing, didn't you?" he growled, his hand wrapping around your waist and pulling you closer.
"I--"
"You knew exactly what you were doing" his voice low and heated. His hand slid up from your waist to cup your jaw. His fingers were gentle, yet squeezing your jaw in a little firm way "sending me those pictures while i was sitting at the table, trying to act as if nothing's happening. You saw how frustrated and bothered i was, and yet you loved every second of it, didn't you?" he continued, his blue eyes burning into yours, making you shiver. it was so intense, your knees felt weak
you couldn't help anymore and curled your lips into a smirk "i--well--yes" you admitted almost too proudly
his eyes moved to the exposed skin of your neck and you could see something swich in them. He leaned forward so that his breath touched your face; it looked like he was about to press his lips to yours so you parted them to give him better access, for him to only lean to your neck to brush his lips against your delicate skin
your eyes closed and you casually tilted your head to give him even more access to your neck. He inhaled your scent deeply: it was driving him insane, not being able to take you right there against the wall. However somehow the anticicpation made the experience even more exhilarating. So to pour his need and desire for you, he bit down on your neck lighty, sending the pleasant shiver through your body before speaking:
"you're a little devil in disguise, aren't you, sweetheart?" his voice a mix of frustraition and admiration
you moaned quietly, not wanting anyone to find out about what's happening in the bathroom. But suddenly he pulled away, daring himself to leave you breathless and confused
"wh-where are you going?" you stammered, pushing away from the wall
He chuckled at the whine in your voice, smirking as he walked toward the door. "Back downstairs to the table. The rest of the family will get suspicious if we stay here too long."
"That's mean—and unfair," you protested with disappointment in your tone
He paused with his hand on the door "And you were fair during dinner? Sending me those pictures, teasing me the entire time, and not letting me do anything about it?"
And with that, he left you in the bedroom alone. All needy and desperate for him
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in the evening, as you were sitting with anakin's stepdad and stepbrother that had his arm around his wife on the couch, anakin walked into the living room with his hands in his pocket. His eyes lingered on your form before he followed your gaze on tv screen.
just a few hours ago, you had been pinned against the bathroom wall by him, and the memory of both situations (the pictures he replied almost every ten minutes) filled his mind with all sinful thoughts
he walked over to the couch, taking his hands out of his pockets to rest them on the backrest and lean down to whisper in your ear "c'mon, we're going for a ride"
you stirred a little at his words. you were so focused on the movie that you hadn't even noticed him stepping inside the rooom. You turned to face him and raised your brow in confusion
your gaze met and his eyes were completely different from yours; were sharp with a mix of lust. His urge to drag you to the car was growing stronger witch each passing minute "let's go" his head nodded toward the hallway
"Where are you guys going?" Anakin's stepdad chimed in
"For a quick ride, we won't take long," he replied quickly, but the look in his eyes conveyed far more than his words.
"Just be careful, Ani," Shmi added, her voice filled with gentle concern.
"We will," Then he quickly turned his gaze back to you "C'mon, sweetheart."
You swallowed hard, recognizing the look in his eyes, and quickly followed him out of the room. You knew what was about to happen, you knew what he was about to do..
anakin strode out of the door, you following closely behind. Once outside, he grabbed your hand and lead you to the car. You felt his firm yet somehow gentle grib against your skin, as if he was still concerned to hurt you
the cool evening air did little to cool the fire between you, this nervous aura ignited in your stomach and quickly after enveloped your body. You just followed him like a puppy as he swiftly opened the passenger door for you "get in" he instructed with urgency and light sharpness
you immediately slipped into the seat, heart racing, the tension between you almost tangible (which obviously didn't help at all). Anakin then closed the door with a decisive click and hurried around to the driver's side. Sliding in, he started the engine with a quick, practiced motion, the sound coming with a low growl
he barely waited for the gates to fully open before driving out of his family's driveway, to which you exhaled nervously. The normally calm, controlled anakin was now tense. At least that's what you could tell from his clenched jaw and the veins that popped out on his forearms from his tight grip on the steering wheel
feeling the weight of his silence, you couldn't help but ask softly "is everything okay?"
he remained silent for a moment with his gaze unwavering on the road before slowly, his hand left the gear stick to slid it down on your thigh. Your eyes moved down when his fingertips traced lightly along the bare skin. Did it help to ease your nervousness and excitement? Absolutely no, especially when he gave you a firm squeeze
"everything will be soon" his low, deep voice gave you shivers
"where are we going?" you asked with sudden boldness
"you'll see" he replied "dont worry about it"
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
he parked the car in a secluded spot, surrounded by nothing but trees visible through the window "get into the backseat" he commanded
the sudden command and his tone only increased the deep blush painting on your cheeks (which thankfully he didn't see due to the late hour)
"c'mon, or i'll just drag you in there myself" he said impatiently, turning to face you more directly
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"it was just a-a jo-oke--" you tried to say between moans from his thick member pounding into you from behind "i-i swe-ar!"
"a joke huh?" his tone sounded breathless as his curls were a mess (just like you were), falling on his right eye. He let his large hand run from your spine down to your hip to thrust deeper into you "i don't think it was a joke, sweetheart..i think you just like to tease me, drive me insane"
the car swayed to the sides from your crazy love making and the forest echoed in both of your moans. His lips tugged into a smirk when his hand went down to slap your ass, which gave you the pleasant sting cover your cheek "that's right, baby, you just love to make me all crazy, huh?"
"ye-yeah" you said through half-linged eyes
his proud, smoldering gaze moved to your enticing backside, drinking in the sight of your cheeks jingling with each relentless thrust "you're such a naughty girl, teasing me like that.." his long fingers sink into your flesh, kneading and massaging the plump globes of your ass. The rough, insistent pressure sends sparks of pleasure shooting up your spine, making your toes curl and your inner walls clench around him
"need to--gonna--co-ome" you whimpered out
he groaned, his hips snapping forward with a particularly deep thrust that made you gasp. His fingers dig into your ass even more from the building feeling down his body "not yet, sweetheart..i'm not done with you yet"
Dilf!Anakin who sometimes teased you about dating older men;
"youre such a pretty girl..so innocent" he murmured directly to your ear while adding second finger inside of you "but i bet you like being handled by a man who's experienced, who knows exactly how to make you feel good, hm?" you whimpered at his words "I guess good girls don't fuck guys my age, right princess?" you mewled in response "atta girl" he grinned "--so you are a bad girl after all..and bad girls need some punishment, don't you think baby? Do you want your punishment?"
Dilf!Anakin who loves watching you ride him
Dilf!Anakin who often plays with your breasts; running his thumb over swollen skin to harden your nipples and intensively memorize how your face twists in pleasure
Dilf!Anakin who always does aftercare after love making; he would not move to do anything without that
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I apologize for it being so long 🙈, wanted to include everything I had in mind (which still wasn't everything). Also was too impatient to wait six days to show you guys my latest works (if you don't know what I mean check my earlier post)
TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @ysrjune @divineani @erosmutt @haydensprettyprincess @mistress-amidala @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @fuckmyskywalker
(if you want to be removed or added then don't be shy and let me know 💋)
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makingqueerhistory ¡ 6 months ago
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I have a somewhat odd question. In June, I was part of creating an online Pride Shabbat for queer Jews unable or unwilling to go to Pride in their home area due to the rise in antisemitism, and as part of it, I wrote a memorial/Kaddish meditation about queer people across time and space. It’s fair to say I couldn’t have done it without MQH, which featured heavily in my research of historical queer figures.
I want to share the piece on Tumblr because I think some folks with progressive synagogues might like it, or may simply find it personally meaningful. Here comes the question: in any other time, I’d find it absolutely abhorrent to share it without crediting you for the time, love, effort, and care you’ve put into MQH that made my job so much simpler. But times being what they are, I don’t feel it’s right to do so indiscriminately, because I’m all too aware you may face splash damage for being associated with a filthy Bad Jew who doesn’t disavow all of Judaism etc. etc.
As a result, I feel obligated to ask if you’d prefer I omit your name from the post, especially since you’re trying to make MQH financially solvent. Please let me know, so I can decide how to structure my post.
Okay this is a complicated question. I will admit I was initially quite confused by the second paragraph of this, until I checked your blog. I realized quickly that you are refering to the fact that you're a Zionist.
I feel like I have been very public about the fact that I oppose Zionism, but in case I haven't been obvious enough, I want to say it clearly:
I learned about anti-Zionism and the movement to free Palestine from almost exclusively Jewish voices. People who have been referred to as "self-hating" when I post about them. They are voices I didn't seek out for their opinions on Palestine, but who shared their opinions with a level of love and passion that I admire deeply. They have gifted me with time and education, and they are the only reason I believe what I do today. Without these Jewish voices, I do believe I could have lost myself in the deliberate obfuscation that happens around this issue.
All of this being said, yes, please do share that I was able to help share queer stories that informed what you have created. But know, that everything I have made comes from a deep love and passion for justice that includes the Palestinian people.
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dollfacefantasy ¡ 1 year ago
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Playing to Win
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pairing: stepdad!leon kennedy x fem!reader
summary: your new stepdad isn't much older than you, yet he has the audacity to ask you to call him daddy?
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, dubcon, daddy kink, humiliation kink, spanking, praise/degradation
word count: 4.3k
a/n: i got a little silly hehe. this is technically my first commission. if you’re interested, check out my ko-fi. as always i appreciate the support, smoochies.
this is my first commission written for my beloved @nexysworld. without her, this would never have come about. she's a great writer and such a sweet person. you all should go check out her blog if you haven't already.
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“You want me to call you what?” you ask incredulously as you stare down the man standing across from you.
“You heard me,” Leon says with no sense of teasing in his voice.
You laugh in his face, a cruel, unabashed laugh. You could not believe his audacity to ask you to call him daddy. 
Technically, he was your new stepfather, but it was comical to you to even acknowledge him as such. He was right around your age, only a couple years difference, no way in hell were you going to call him daddy.
You had been open with your mother about your displeasure over Leon’s presence in your life. You called her a cradle robber and a cougar but to no avail. She continued her relationship with him; a young, bright eyed, rookie cop who always thought he knew best.
He wasn’t the problem so much. Sure, he was kind of annoying, but he was also pretty cute. He was funny, and if these were any other circumstances, you could see yourself and him getting along great, even being friends. Generally, he was nice to you, maybe a little over friendly if you were being honest. It always seemed like he knew something you didn’t, but you assumed that was just his nature.
“You’re funny, Leon,” you taunt, “Seriously, good joke.”
“It’s not a joke,” he corrects you and folds his arms over his chest, “Now that I’m taking a more serious role in your life, I expect you to show me some respect.”
“Oh, you do?” you laugh, “Leon-”
“Daddy,” he corrects.
You almost can’t speak, stunned to silence by the nerve of him. Was he doing this to annoy you? Was it supposed to be funny? Because there’s absolutely no way he could be serious about this.
“We are almost the same age. You realize this, yes?” you ask, enunciating the words slowly to get your point across, “I’m not calling you anything but your actual name. And maybe not even that cause you’re pissing me off, and I don’t wanna talk to you.”
“All this attitude, sweetheart, and for what?” he says as approaches you, “I’m not asking you to run a marathon for me. All I want is to be addressed properly.”
You scowl at the pet name. He brings a hand to your face, stroking your cheek with his knuckles before you swat it away.
“What is your problem, Leon?” you say angrily and shove him away, “Is this some fucked up fetish of yours? Like it’s not pathetic enough you’re fucking a divorced woman twice your age, right? You have to feel in control of me too to get it up?”
You laugh at him again when he responds with a glare. Rolling your eyes, you walk closer to him and get in his face.
“Aw, did I hurt daddy’s feelings?” you mock in the sweetest tone you could manage, giving him puppy dog eyes and putting emphasis on the title he was so obsessed with, “I’m so sorry daddy. Please don’t be mad at me.”
You’re about to laugh again before Leon spins you around so you quick the motion nearly gives you whiplash. Your back is flush against his chest, and even though you were teasing, your little performance clearly had some effect as you could feel his dick, now half hard, against your ass. It causes a small flash of heat in your belly that you try to pretend didn’t happen.
“Listen up, I’m not going to tell you again, baby. You do what I’m asking you, or we’re going to find another way to get it through your pretty little head,” he says.
His grip was firm. Despite his usual officer friendly persona, he could obviously be serious when he wanted to be. It didn’t shock you. You knew he was fit and could be intense. You’d caught him working out with his shirt off, sweat dripping down his muscular back while ‘Kim’ by Eminem blasted in his airpods. You tried to deny it, but it had left you feeling a little hot under the collar for the next few days.
You squirm in his hold, but he keeps your wrists pinned to your lower back. “Oh yeah? What are you gonna do, send me to my room? Ground me?” you say as you try to wriggle away.
“Oh no, we’re past that. You want to be a brat, I’ll handle you like one. I’ll put you over my knee and smack that cute ass until it’s raw, and you understand who’s in charge around here,” he says.
“You’re gonna spank me?” you shriek. You thrash harder in absolute shock. “No way! Are you fucking crazy? My mother will kick your ass.”
“Your mother isn’t here, babe. I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” he says. His fingers only tighten on you, digging into your flesh. An arm loops around your waist and starts pulling you over to the sofa. “Maybe she’ll be grateful that someone’s finally trying to teach you some manners.”
Even though you knew he was in shape, he was much stronger than you thought. He sits down on the sofa and folds you across his lap with no real effort. You’re secure there too, unable to get to your feet or away from him. You still try though, flailing your limbs about and bucking your hips.
“There, there. Let’s calm down, honey,” he coos, now clearly taunting you. He rubs the swell of your ass over the tight dress you were wearing. “Just tell Daddy you’re sorry, baby. I’m not a bad guy. I’m willing to hear you out.”
You don’t even respond. You pound your fists against his leg while kicking your feet.
“Poor baby. There’s no reason to throw a tantrum,” he says in the most condescending voice you’d ever heard. He gives you a light warning tap on the ass. “Just tell me what I want to hear, and Daddy will make it all better, give you all the kisses you need until you’re back to being a good girl.”
He was driving you fucking wild. Your body was taut with anger while your mind ran wild with frustration, not only at him, but at yourself. You could feel your panties getting sticky with arousal as he spoke down to you.
“Shut up, Leon!” you say and continue struggling.
His hand comes down again, cracking a little harder against the supple flesh of your ass. You suck a sharp breath in. It didn’t hurt yet, but it stung. Anymore force behind the swing of his palm and you knew he could fulfill his threats of marking up your ass.
“You wanna try that again, princess?” he says, “I’ll give you one more chance.”
“No! I’m not calling you Daddy you sick fucker! I-”
A loud slap echoes through the room. That was the smack you were scared of. So hard you could feel the burn beneath your skin. There was absolutely no doubt about his strength now. He lands another two, one on each cheek, drawing whimpers from your throat.
“Watch your mouth,” he says, “I’m sick of the whining and the back talk. I’ve given you more than enough chances to fix your behavior. I’m done playing nice with you.”
In a quick motion, he yanks your skirt up to bunch it at the small of your back. You squeal out “Leon!” but it makes no difference. Again, you attempt to wriggle away. All it does though is give him a view of your ass wiggling around in those cute panties you wore. The ones he had seen peeking over the waist of your jeans.
He lays more lashes to your skin in rapid succession. You wriggle slightly and involuntarily whine. Your ‘stepfather’ felt no guilt though. Partially because it was all part of the plan, partially because he could see the light purple fabric between your thighs darkening with arousal. Plus, the pathetic noises spilling from your mouth only made him want to work harder, rip more sweet cries from you. He continues cracking his solid hand against your bottom, sending ripples through the soft flesh. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment, your eyes start to water, and your bottom lip juts out into a quivering pout.
“Oh, look at that sweet face,” he coos, taking a break from spanking you to stroke your cheek, “I know it hurts, baby. But it can all stop once you decide to stop being a stubborn little brat.”
He punctuates his statement with another swat. Your body jolts forward at the contact, head falling forward to hang in shame. You hate yourself for playing into it, but you can’t stop the automatic response that exits you in a humiliating whimper.
“I’m not a brat.”
“Oh you’re not? Could’ve fooled me,” he responds. He cracks his hand against your cheeks a few more times before giving you a break and rubbing the sore skin.
“I’m not. You’re just… you’re just mean.”
The words tumble from you in a pitiful cry, physically hurting you to say something so pathetic. To show such weakness when he was being such a prick. You shut your eyes, and a warm tear falls down your face. That only made you feel worse, making you want to cry more. A vicious cycle you couldn’t break out of when all your mind could think of was your stinging flesh and his patronizing voice.
“I’m being mean to you? Aw baby, after all the things you said, you think I’m the mean one?” he mocks.
“I-I’m sorry,” you whimper out without really thinking about it.
“I don’t need you to be sorry, sweetheart. You know what I want,” he says.
What’s supposed to be a groan comes out as a frustrated whine. You shake your head weakly and open your eyes again. His fingers slip beneath your chin to lift your face to look at him.
“Just say it. Say it and it will all be over. We can get on to helping you feel better,” he says.
The pain radiating from your ass, now glowing red, was almost enough to make you give in on the spot. But you could hear it in his voice. He was so fucking smug, having so much fun watching you cry and shift around in discomfort. You couldn’t just let him win.
So you shake your head defiantly, sniffling as your watery eyes connect with his in a stare. You immediately regret your decision because the amused glint that forms his eyes lets you know that he enjoys the resistance more than your submission. The corners of his lips tick upwards into a slight smile. Now it’s his turn to shake his head and mockingly tut at you before swinging his forearm and blasting your sore flesh with the heel of his palm.
You cry out, the noise strangled with despair. Your teeth dig into your bottom lip to restrain the louder sobs that were bubbling in your throat.
“Just give in, sweetheart. There’s no need to act tough for me. Do what I know you want to, and say the word,” he orders, his words coming out low and slow.
You know you should, but god, you don’t want to. It’s like your most basic instincts don’t want you to either. You have to think through it, force your tongue to conjure the word and expel it from your lips.
“I’m sorry… Daddy,” you whimper. A couple more tears leak from your eyes. The humiliation that mounts in your chest is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. But as the heat rises to your cheeks and clouds your mind, making you feel dizzy, you feel a deeper sense of heat spreading out in your lower belly. And it only gets worse when he starts in on you again.
“Oh, that’s my girl. Such a good girl when you want to be. I knew you could do it,” he coos, “Say it again for me, baby. Least you can do after being so cruel.”
At this point, you figure you’d already said it once, so what’s one more time. You say it again if for no other reason than to stop his harsh blows from raining down on your sensitive skin.
“I’m so sorry, Daddy,” you cry.
“That’s right. I know you are, honey. I know you don’t mean that stuff. You just wanted some attention, right? Wanted some time with Daddy all to yourself,” he says as his hand comes up and starts stroking your hair.
You weakly shake your head. You weren’t acting up because of that. He was being an asshole. That’s why you were acting up. Or were you even acting up? Your reaction was justified, wasn’t it? All the attention on you mixed with the shame boiling in your head makes it hard to think through this stuff.
“Oh, are you shy? Don’t wanna tell the truth?” he coos with a cruel chuckle. One of his hands rubs your aching ass while the other trails up and down your thigh soothingly. The latter hand slowly creeps to the junction of your legs. “I know that’s what it is, doll. I can feel it.”
As he says that, you feel fingers petting the damp fabric that conceals your cunt. You take a sharp breath to which his chuckle grows into a short laugh. He presses his fingers against the cloth, and you can tell immediately that even his movements are done in a way to mess with you. His digits drag against your panties, not giving you the pressure you need on your clit. You squirm awkwardly in an effort to find a better angle and not feel the soaked garment cling to your folds.
“Feeling a little impatient?” he teases.
You nod, any remaining shreds of dignity you have slowly being peeled away. You just couldn’t resist. The potential pleasure that’s just out of reach. The heat of his thick cock against your hip. His voice, like soft velvet slipping over your mind.
“Well honey, show me you can ask nicely, and I’ll be happy to help you out. Won’t even make you wait, we can get right to what you really want,” he says. His tone sounds slightly more genuine here.
“Pretty please, Daddy,” you force out. Your eyes cast down in shame as if you’re studying the pattern of the living room carpet.
“Pretty please what, babydoll?” he says, the teasing returning for a moment.
“Pretty please… fuck me,” you squeak.
He smirks, his victory written all over his face.
“Woah, listen to the mouth on you,” he tuts, “Normally, I wouldn’t let that kind of language fly, sweetheart, but I think you’ve had enough punishment for one day.”
His hands squeeze your waist and flip you over on his lap. He wipes away your tears with his thumb and presses a kiss to your forehead, that stupid smug expression on his face the entire time.
The next move is guiding your body onto the couch. You whimper as your back meets the cool leather. He pays that no mind and instead lifts your hips and tugs your skirt and panties off in one motion. You notice in your peripheral that he takes a souvenir, shoving the light purple underwear in his pocket.
After giving your ass a firm squeeze, his hands drift up and pull your shirt off. His eyes fixate on your tits, his soft hands coming to cup them and flick his fingers over your nipples which were beginning to perk up.
“No bra? I guess I should’ve expected that from you,” he chuckles as he continues fondling your soft breasts. The touch relieves some of the building pressure, the weight in your chest just begging to be squeezed and massaged. He watches the pliable flesh move beneath his fingers before giving your nipples a quick pinch and moving to undress himself.
He doesn’t waste any time, his clothing pooled on the floor in mere moments. He gets on top of you. Large hands hook behind your knees, angling your hips upward. Your legs come to rest on his shoulders as he grabs his cock and swipes the tip through the slick that had collected between your thighs.
“So fucking wet, I didn’t even need to warm you up,” he grunts as he pushes the tip in.
You bite your lip, unable to stop the whine it brings out of you. He exhales with amusement, and his free hand goes to your face to rub your cheek. It was only the tip so far, but you couldn’t even deny how good it felt. And while he moves with a purpose, he draws out this first thrust as long as possible. He inches it in, going as slow as he can. The pleasure he gets just from watching you squirm with desperation is clear in the way he looks down at you.
“There we go. Just what you need. Daddy filling you up. Gonna make you a good girl from now on,” he coos and drags his thumb over your bottom lip. 
Without even thinking, you open your mouth and flatten your tongue against the digit before wrapping your lips around it. You suck on it gently, softly moaning as your saliva coats his thumb.
At this point, it’s physically impossible for him to look more pleased with himself. Honestly, it seemed like he took more enjoyment from watching you slip farther into his grasp than he did from the feeling of your cunt pulsing around him.
Once he’s all the way in, completely buried in your warm, wet embrace, the hand that had been guiding his cock slides up. He gently thumbs your clit, grinning as your sweet mewls become the slightest bit louder.
He begins dragging himself in and out, savoring the feeling of your walls gripping him, sucking him in. It seems you only clamp down harder as he plays with your pretty little bundle of nerves. He keeps toying with it as his hips work back and forth.
Your eyes flutter, becoming half-lidded with the smooth stream of pleasure flowing through you. You whimper and whine while still sucking on his thumb. He started to repeatedly tease pulling it out before pushing it all the way in, nearly gagging you.
“So precious, aren’t you?” he whispers, leaning forward.
Your thighs are now pressed to your chest. His cock so deep it reaches places you didn’t even know about. He picks up the pace a bit, balls smacking against you with each move. To your dismay, he removes his thumb from your mouth, dragging it down and smearing spit down your chin. Your disappointment is only momentary as he’s quick to capture your lips in a searing kiss. 
His soft lips move against your wet ones while he continues pumping deep. Your head swims with the pleasure he provides. Everything becomes a soft warm haze as he toys with your clit and stretches you out. The gentle kisses combine with the tender feeling of his warm skin sliding against yours.
“Gonna have to do this every time you get bratty, baby. Keep you dumb on my cock, exactly where you should be, making sure you don’t get outta line,” he grunts, eyes closing as a wave of pleasure hits him, “This all you needed, just some time with Daddy.”
You nod lazily, all hopes of keeping a resistant exterior up gone out the window. “More kisses, Daddy,” you mumble as you connect your lips in a messy kiss.
He chuckles at the lack of resistance left in you. He returns your nod and indulges you. His tongue slips into your mouth, meeting your own as you make out.
It’s all so good. You can’t get enough. Everything is him right now. It’s all for him. You know you’re getting close and so does he. He can feel the way your pussy rhythmically constricts around him. It’s working him closer too, but he can’t let it end yet. Not before he gets to the final step.
His movements become strategic. You’re teetering on the edge, getting enough pleasure to keep you whining and clutching at him, but not enough for that final push to heaven. Just one more stroke in the right wave, and you know you could get there.
While your head continues to fog up from his efforts, he pulls away from kissing you. He nestles his head in between yours and the couch cushion.
“You know, honey, now that we’re seeing eye to eye, I think I should let you in on something,” he whispers, hot breath fanning across your ear.
“Mmm, what?” you ask. You were only half paying attention, too caught up in the heat of the moment.
“I’ve had my eye on you for a while, sweet thing,” he rasps.
“Really?” you ask, unsure why he was bringing this up but choosing to go along with it in your dreamy state. He had been dating your mom for a while, so maybe he had this little infatuation for longer than you thought.
“Mhm, earlier than I think you know,” he says with a nip to your earlobe.
“That’s nice,” you murmur and nuzzle your face against his hair, breathing in his scent.
“Aren’t you curious when? When was the first time I saw your pretty face? The first time I wanted to slide into this tight pussy?” he murmurs.
“When?” you ask. You tried to feign interest, but fuck, you really just wanted to cum.
“I remember it, clear as day. It was at a party, you remember that guy from high school who had the 3D tv in his basement. It was at his house. You were down there, looking so fucking cute, talking to some douchebag. And I heard you talking to him. About Fortnite,” he says.
You just nod and moan. You honestly didn’t even remember that he went to your high school, but you didn’t really care at the moment. It still felt so good, him drilling in and out of you. You just couldn’t help but wonder why he thought now was the time to bring this up.
“You told that guy your gamer tag. But I realized I also remembered that name. I had played a match with you before. You beat me, stole my victory royale,” he says with a soft laugh.
“Umm… ok,” you reply, totally lost and not just because your mind was all cloudy from being railed into the couch.
“Tell me, honey: do you remember the name rookiepillz?” he asks.
“No?” you say. Was this really the time for this conversation? That was all you could think. But before you could voice your complaint his hand starts rubbing your clit again with even more pressure than before. All words in your throat tangle up into a string of whimpers.
“You should. I sent you a message after that game. Told you ‘I’m gonna fuck you and your mom sweaty,’” he says with a particularly hard thrust, “Well, look at us now.”
You listen, absolutely lost, until the dots start connecting. You turn your head to look at him, not believing this was real. You did remember that message. It made you and your friends giggle for the next hour, created an inside joke for the next few years.
“No way,” you say. You try to keep your voice even, but despite his insane words, his cock was still hitting just right, “Rookie- fuck! Rookiepillz?”
He puts in a couple of those strokes that hit just right, brushed all your sweet spots, filled you up the perfect amount. All the while his thumb rubs your clit in tiny, quick circles. You couldn’t hold on. A sharp cry leaves you as you gush around his cock. You grip the couch for support as your body rolls with the rush.
“Yes way, sweetheart. Rookiepillz,” he grunts.
When most of the high has finished and you’re starting to come down, you open your eyes and look up at him with disbelief. He’s grinning, so satisfied that he’s gotten the last laugh.
“Wha- you’re… you’re fucking insane… literally why would you remember that? And why would you take it so seriously? It’s Fortnite!” you moan, still feeling the aftershocks of your release.
“I play the long game, baby, and I play to win,” he moans as a strained expression washes over his face. He snaps his hips a few more times before slamming in all the way with one final thrust. “This is my ultimate victory royale.”
With that, he empties himself inside you, hot cum flooding your cunt. You whimper yet again. It still felt good even if you just found out his motivation behind all of this was borderline psychotic.
He pumps in and out a few more times before pulling out. His chest puffs with deep breaths on top of yours. Both of you lay together in silence for a few moments. What had just happened? You could barely even comprehend it. Instead of driving yourself as crazy as he is by dwelling on it, you shove him off of you. You get up and start putting on your clothes again.
“You’re fucking crazy,” you say.
He laughs and sits up on the couch. “Don’t act like you didn’t have fun, baby,” he says while stretching, “You were such a good girl for your daddy.”
Your eyes widen and cheeks burn with embarrassment at his teasing. God, why had you ever said that? Now that you weren’t all worked up, you just wanted to go back in time and kick your own ass for even thinking of giving in.
“Shut up,” you grumble.
He stands up, still laughing and clearly on top of the world with his “victory.” You smooth out your outfit as he starts putting his own clothing back on. He holds up his belt and cracks it teasingly.
“Watch your mouth, there’s still time before your mother gets home. That sweet ass might not have enough marks,” he taunts.
You shoot him a glare before storming out of the room.
“Oh come on, babe. If you’re not into that, maybe we could play some Fortnite?” he calls.
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shirecorn ¡ 9 months ago
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Finding Beyond Nemo
I did a quick search around the internet and collected some blogs and websites to discover unusual fish species for mermay inspiration (and because fish are fun)
Doing a clownfish mermaid is great, but what about doing a fish you only discovered that day? Let's see what we can reel in with these sites.
Tumblr blogs!
@herpsandbirds offers amphibians, reptiles, birds, and a bunch of other unusual and awesome critters including fish!
herps and birds fish tag
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for a truly random experience, browse @hellsitegenetics to see what aquatic wonders are hiding in our posts.
You could also browse the entire tag of #ichthyology, the study of fish
Creature Websites!
Now to sail off tumblr to some of the sites I've browsed in the past, designed to introduce you to new species across the planet. I've narrowed these links down to fish sorted entries, but please browse the rest of the sites for fun as well!
My favorite for many years, The Featured Creature! Make sure to open every article to see the fish in question, as the article previews don't always show that each post has many beautiful photos of beautiful fish
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Another archive with dozens of pages of fish spotlights! Check out activewild and see what you can sea
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A classic! Check out articles and species spotlights of National Geographic
There's also lots of smaller blogs with only a page or so of fish. Coffeeandcreatures, thewildlife.blog and many many many more!
Start a new bookmarks category, pinterest board, or image folder and just start throwing fish in there. Your ocean of ideas will never run dry.
Not an artist but desperately want to see an obscure mermaid? You can ask me to tackle it! Just make sure you've browsed my mermay tag to make sure I haven't done it in years prior.
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Request a mermaid here!
If you're an artist and you used this list to discover a new species, let me know! I love seeing what other people find interesting.
Happy mermay!
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