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bwabys-scenarios · 1 year ago

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Fixer Upper

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

Part 25

part 24

part 26

warning: smutty, handjob, Kurapika plays with Readers pussy, Reader gets injured by Kurapika, coma, SH(Kurapika doesn’t let himself eat or sleep after you get hurt), violence, reader kills someone and gets traumatized, vomiting

A/N: EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO BUG FOR HELPING SO MUCH WITH THIS CHAPTER!! A lot of the part where Killua tries to comfort reader was written by Bug!!

taglist: @fabitheraven @tsukilover11 @ashdownunderscorebeloved @lemonslut @homeinmydreams @superweeniehutjrsblog @bugmomwrites @heartsforseo @lixiawinter @altaircc @itszenava @fiightforlovee @mimi-sanisanidiot @monainanuttshell @wow-im-gay @whorermoviestar @lightshowerrr @mama-m1na @nenggie @wicked-binch @jamayah @themanicwriter01

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(Name) woke up to the sound of her phone buzzing on her nightstand. She tried to move, but noticed Kurapika sleeping next to her, his arms wrapped around her and face buried in her chest.

The sight made her heart race and she would prefer to stay like this forever… but she couldn’t. “Pika, wake up. I’ve gotta answer my phone.”

He groaned a little, only nuzzling into her chest harder like a needy child, his arms tightening around her waist. “Five more minutes…”

She sighed, glancing at her phone before laying back down and planting a kiss on the top of his head. Sleep took her again, the world around her fading away, the only thing keeping her grounded was the feeling of Kurapika’s touch and warm breath against her cleavage.

An entire hour passed before she felt Kurapika stir next to her, his blonde hair tickling her chin. “Mmph…”

His leg rubbed against hers as he sat up, a soft pink on his cheeks from the warmth of being nestled between her breasts. Kurapika’s morning wood was evident in his pants, and he hadn’t even realized yet. “Good morning…”

As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, (Name) scooted closer, wrapping her arms around him. “Thanks for getting me to bed last night, my back would be killing me if you left me on the couch.”

Kurapika nodded, leaning into her touch. He was still sleepy, taking in her gentle affection happily. “No problem, angel…”

His eyes shot open when he felt her hand on his chest, her lips against his cheek. “Pika, look down.”

He did as told, his face flushing red when he noticed the tent in his pajama pants. Kurapika pulled the blanket up to his torso, embarrassment clear on his face. “I-I’m so sorry, it happens when I wake up sometimes-“

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s natural, I understand.”

He blushed when she began to tug the blanket back down, her eyes on the bulge in his pants. “Kurapika?”

His breath hitched in his throat, his voice coming out husky. “Y-yes?”

She placed her hand over his tummy, slowly trailing down. “Can I… touch you?”

He felt like he was going to explode, his cock leaking precum all over his boxers with just the thought of her touching him. “You… touch me?”

“Mhm.”

She rested her hand on his thigh, leaning against him. Fuck, he could cum from her being so close and just insinuating that. “Lemme help you feel good, Pika.”

He could only nod, kicking the blanket off of him so she could have better access to him. (Name) smiled, placing her hand over his bulge. Kurapika let out a gasp, already panting.

“Oh? Does that feel good?”

She played with the waistband of his pajama pants, leaving kisses on his neck. “Tell me what you want, Pika.”

He whined a little, his head feeling fuzzy. (Name) wanted to touch him, and god he was still processing that. “Please… please touch me…”

(Name) cooed softly, slipping her hand down his pants and into his boxers. When her fingers grazed his length, he let out a sharp gasp, bucking his hips in her hand. “Mmph, (Name)!”

She kissed his neck as her fingers wrapped around his length, gently stroking him. “Pika, you’re so hard… my poor baby~”

Kurapika bucked his hips into her hand, his face a deep red, his eyes scarlet. “(N-Name), fuck…”

He felt like his could cum already, but didn’t want to cum all over her hand within a minute of her jerking him off. Kurapika didn’t want her to think he was a pathetic mess!

He tried his best to hold back, gently fucking into her hand as she left love bites on his neck. Kurapika whimpered, moving closer to her, his eyes begging for some comfort and reassurance. She obliged him, using her free hand to grab his chin and kiss him.

He whined into her mouth, his tongue dancing with hers desperately. “Please… please!”

She cooed, moving her hand faster and brushing her thumb against his tip. “Shh, shh, you don’t want anyone to hear you begging like that, do you? Guess I’ll have to keep you quiet.”

She tapped her finger against his lip, and he opened his mouth immediately, sucking on her fingers to keep quiet. “That’s my good boy, you’re doing amazing, Kurapika.”

Her gentle praise was making his cock twitch in her hand. He was so close, and with some gentle sucking on his neck he was cumming. It was the most intense orgasm he’d ever had, his hips bucking out of control and soft moans leaving his lips. (Name) had to cover his mouth, continuing to stroke his cock to let him ride out his orgasm.

(Name) pulled her hand from his pants, looking at him as she began to lick his cum up. “Mm… you taste nice, Pika.”

He took a moment to recover, his head thrown back as he panted, his hips lightly bucking on their own. Whne he looked back at (Name) finally, his eyes were different, they were hungry.

“Pika, would you like a snack or a bath-“

Her attempts to offer aftercare were cut off by him pinning her to the bed, his lips crashing into hers. Kurapika used one hand to keep her wrists pinned above her head, and the other to tug her pants down, leaving them hanging around her thighs. “Fuck…”

She was wearing a pair of white cotton panties, a little wet patch growing in center. He nudged the patch with his finger, causing her to mewl. “Pikaa! P-please!”

He hummed, dipping back down to kiss her again, his tongue prodding against her lip. She opened her mouth, letting his tongue explore her mouth again as his fingers slipped into her panties. (Name) gasped into his mouth when his finger found her clit.

Kurapika had completely turned the tables on her, and she was at his mercy. He cooed down at her, moving to her neck to give her love bites of his own. “So pretty, angel…”

He could tell she was we getting close by the way she was lifting her hips into his hand, letting go of her wrists to grope her breasts through her shirt. “G-gonna cum, ahh!”

Fuck, his cock was growing hard again. He was making her feel good, he had her underneath him, squirming and moaning. This was everything he had imagined and more.

She came, holding onto his arm as she stared into his eyes, moaning out his name. “K-Kurapika! Pika! Pika!!”

He captured her lips again, slotting himself between her legs and grabbing the waistband of her panties. He didn’t care if being with her was bad, if he might leave one day, all he could think about right now was how much he loved her. Kurapika wanted to make love to her, bring her to the brink of pleasure and fill her up with his cum. He wanted to get her pregnant, wanted to hold her hand as he pounded into her dripping-

RING! RING!

Kurapika didn’t look up, continuing to kiss her and tug at her panties. (Name) opened her eyes, trying to turn her attention to her phone, but Kurapika turned her chin back towards him. “Ignore it, just focus on me.”

She whined into the kiss, gently pushing at his chest. “J-just a second, I need to check who’s calling.”

Kurapika scowled, but relented, letting her grab her phone. He sat back, trying to calm his racing heart as she glanced at the contact.

He noticed her face grow pale, and heard her curse under her breath. “Shit, sorry I have to take this.”

Kurapika’s frown only deepened, and he grabbed her wrist. “Is it really that important?”

She sighed, gently pulling away and walking out into the hallway as she tugged her pants back into place.

He watched, feeling his heart thump painfully against his chest, and his cock throb. Kurapika moved the hand he used to touch (Name) into his pants, using her juices to jerk off as she left to talk on the phone.

——————

“Chrollo, I told you not to call me when I’m home.”

She had walked outside, a cardigan hurriedly pulled on to keep her warm from the chilly morning air. The man on the other end laughed, and it only pissed her off.

“Oh, how unkind of you, (Name). And here I was, calling you to inform you that your target was in town.”

Her eyes widened, and she had to stop herself from yelling out. “H-he is?”

“Yeah, you can tell your little boyfriend now.”

(Name) looked down at the ground, remembering when Chrollo first told her the targets name.

FLASHBACK

(Name) placed the last bandage on Feitan, sighing softly. "Okay, you're good to go, Fei.

The dark haired man grunted in response, pushing himself off of the bed and walking out. ".. thanks."

She swiveled her head to see if he'd really thanked her, but he was gone. Instead of Feitan, Chrollo stood in the doorway, his usual suave smirk on his face. "I see you've finished up your duties, (Name)?

Chrollo leaned against the wall, watching her as she packed up. "Duties? What are you, a vampire from the Victorian era? I did my job, and now I'm leaving."

As she began to push past him, Chrollo spoke up.

"Leaving so soon? I thought you'd want to know where to find the next set of scarlet eyes."

She paused, glancing at him. "Just tell me, l'm not here to play games with you."

He laughed, handing her a slip of paper. "Here's the name of your next target."

Before (Name) could excitedly text Kurapika, Chrollo snatched her phone. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, (Name)."

"Hey, give me th-"

He handed her the phone back. "If you tell your little boyfriend the information now, he'll be on the next train to track this man down."

(Name) pouted, placing her phone in her back pocket. "No he wouldn't, we have plans for Halloween."

"Do you think he cares enough about your silly little plans to stick around when he could be completing his goals?"

She sighed. “I really regret venting to you."

Chrollo smiled. "Mhm, but am I wrong? What happened the last time he got a crumb of information?"

She looked away from him, clutching the fabric of her shirt. He took this as her acceptance of the situation and continued talking. "Besides, that man will be coming to your area in early November. It would be a shame for him to fly out to find the man, only to have to fly back to follow him."

Chrollo patted her shoulder. "You sure are patient, (Name). You're doing all of this for him. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly has he done to earn such loyalty from you?"

She didn't respond, walking past him and out of the room.

FLASHBACK END

“He’ll be in your town until this weekend. You should hurry and tell your little boyfriend.”

“He’s not-“

She was about to correct him, but then thought back to just a few minutes ago. Kurapika had been about to slip her panties off, getting ready to…

“Hmm? He’s not what?”

Chrollo seemed amused by your hesitance, but decided to cut you some slack. “Well, I assume you are busy, since it took me calling you several times for you to answer. Goodbye, (Name).”

He hung up without another word, leaving (Name) standing in her driveway, rethinking the events that led her to this.

‘What… what am I to Kurapika?’

———————

(Name) walked back into her room, shrugging off her cardigan and yelping when Kurapika grabbed her wrist and tugged her back into bed. He was on top of her within seconds, trying to pull off her shirt. “W-wait! We can’t, I have some news!”

“It can wait.”

He threw her shirt to the side, moving to unhook her bra next. “It’s about the scarlet eyes!”

Kurapika’s hands stopped, his fingers underneath the band of her bra. His eyes darted to hers, the scarlet slowly fading into the soft brown that she loved. “… you have new information on the eyes?”

She nodded, watching as he sat back up, moving off of her so she could pull her shirt back on. “Yeah, the person I just got off the phone with said a person with two pairs of the eyes is in town.”

The blonde sighed softly, the tent in his pajama pants still evident, but going down. “I see…”

He seemed a little shy now, glancing at her as he scooted to the edge of the bed. “We should… get ready then. Do you have their location?”

“Yes, they’re staying in a hotel uptown. We can sneak into their room and steal the eyes while they’re gone.”

Kurapika stood up, his cheeks a little pink. “Alright. I’ll meet you downstairs in 15 minutes.”

The two parted ways, (Name) going to take a shower, and Kurapika hiding away in his room to calm down his body and heart.

They met in the living room, both now dressed and calmed down. Things were a little awkward, but (Name) smiled and held onto his hand. “Okay, I told Leorio we’d be leaving. He’s a bit hungover but he’ll watch the kids.”

Kurapika squeezed her hand, his mind drifting back to their intimate moment earlier.

The drive uptown was mostly quiet, Kurapika keeping a possessive hand on her thigh. It was a subconscious act, something he wasn’t aware he was doing. “Kurapika…”

The blonde looked up, seeing (Name) glancing at him from the drivers seat. “I… Pika, what are we?”

Kurapika froze, his grip on her thigh tightening slightly. He didn’t answer, his head turning to stare at the window before he retracted his hand. “I don’t know what you mean.”

That was a lie, he knew exactly what she meant by that, but he didn’t have an answer.

She frowned. “I mean what is our relationship. Obviously we’re more than friends, for gods sake Kurapika, your hand was in my panties! I jerked you off!”

His face turned impossibly red. “I… I don’t want to talk about this.”

(Name) blinked in surprise. “Huh? Do you mean at all, or just not right now?”

“I don’t know!”

She flinched when he yelled, the blonde immediately regretting it. “(Name), I…”

“No, it’s alright. I… I understand.”

Kurapika looked back, his eyes widening when he saw the look of defeat on her face. She was gripping the steering will tight, as if trying to keep her tears from falling by sheer force alone. “It’s a okay, we… don’t have to… be anything. I’ll still…”

‘Does she… does she think that I’m trying to use her for sex?’

“(Name)… it’s not like that, I promi-“

“Please, stop. Don’t… let’s just focus on the mission.”

He stayed quiet, cursing himself for being so stupid. Kurapika promised himself that he’d try to clear things up later.

Unfortunately, the mission wouldn’t go smoothly enough for him to do such things.

——————

Kurapika and (Name) arrived at the hotel, posing as a couple renting a room. It was harder for her to play his partner this time, especially after their conversation on the way there.

The blonde seemed to notice this, trying his best to both give her space and play his part. Kurapika walked up to the counter to rent a room, letting (Name) wait in the lobby for him.

It was moments like these that made (Name) crave a relationship. She’d liked Kurapika since the Hunter Exam, and her fair share of fantasies about him. Some of them were sexual, but most were rooted in the desire to be with him.

She imagined holding his hand as they walked with their friends to look at Christmas lights, sharing kisses when no one was looking. She wanted him to hold her, to tell her he loved her too and would never leave her again.

God she didn’t want him to leave.

The thought of him only wanting her for sex made her feel awful, but if it meant he would never abandon her again, she would fulfill that role. These feelings, these thoughts weren’t healthy, but she didn’t know if she could take him leaving her. Not now, not after she’d fallen in love with him again.

‘I… I’m in love with him…’

Before, this thought would will her with butterflies and make her heart soar, but now it only filled her with dread. She cared about him, but Kurapika wasn’t someone that was easy to be in love with. He got himself into danger, he had severe anger issues and trauma that he held onto desperately. She didn’t even know if he wanted to heal, to settle down with her and find peace.

“(Name)? I got the room.”

He paused in front of her when he noticed tears falling down her face as she stared off into space. “Angel…”

He crouched down in front of her, cupping her cheeks and using his thumbs to brush her tears away. “What’s wrong, angel?”

(Name) blinked, seemingly snapping out her thoughts. “Huh? Kurapika?”

Kurapika stayed in front of her, his touch tender and gentle. “You… you were crying, (Name).”

“I was?”

She lifted her hand to touch her cheek, seeing that her finger was damp. “Oh… I guess I was.”

(Name) wiped her face and took a deep breath. “Never mind that, let’s get those eyes back.”

The two stepped into the elevator, (Name) glancing at her phone. “My informant said he’s on the 5th floor, room 301.”

Kurapika nodded and pressed the button for the 5th floor. The blonde attempted to start idle conversation a few times, but (Name) stayed quiet, her eyes focused on the ground.

“… it sure is cold outside, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

It was cold outside, but it was freezing in the elevator. (Name)’s warmth didn’t seem to reach him like it usually did.

The blonde cleared his throat, glancing at her. Even now, his mind was racing with the memories of their intimate moment earlier that day. They’d been so close to actually having sex, and now it seemed like the distance between them had grown so much that he wasn’t sure how to speak to her anymore.

‘I do want to be with her, but… I…’

Admitting that out loud was the hard part. Being with her, allowing himself to love her was an inherently selfish act. Just being in her life put her in danger, loving her, making her someone that was important to him could get her killed.

His thoughts were interrupted by the elevator doors opening, and before he had time to think (Name) was pulling him out by the hand. “Let’s get this over with.”

Kurapika followed her, and although he was still a little nervous, he couldn’t help but find comfort in the warmth of her hand.

——————

(Name) and Kurapika peeked around the corner, glancing at the room that held the scarlet eyes. “Okay, let’s think of a plan. I could sneak in through the-“

She turned to look at him, but he was already walking towards the room. “Kurapika!” she whisper yelled. (Name) was quick to follow after him, grabbing his sleeve when he stopped in front of the door.

He pulled his around away with a bit more force than necessary, breaking the handle off the door as he opened it. “We don’t have time for that, this is our only chance. The owner of the eyes could get back at any moment.”

She should have known he’d act like this, he always did when it came to the scarlet eyes. (Name) didn’t answer, only sighing. “I can’t see, where’s the light switch…”

She felt along the wall, finding the switch and flipping it. Light flooded the area, revealing a man sitting in the center of the room in a leather chair.

“Hello, ladies.”

(Name) screamed, jumping into Kurapika’s arms as the man calmly stood and stretched his leg. “… have you just been sitting here in the dark?”

“That doesn’t matter, why are you here?”

Kurapika held her close for a moment longer, almost as if he was trying to seek and give comfort before setting her on her feet. He kept a protective hold on her as he eyed the man, his gaze sharp and focused. “… we’re here for the scarlet eyes. Are you the owner of them?”

The man before him blinked, tilting his head towards the desk. On it set two pairs of the eyes on a stack of papers. “Oh, you talking about them paperweights? I thought you were here to take something important.”

Kurapika’s jaw clenched, (Name) having to grab his sleeve to prevent him from attacking.

“The boss bought those a while ago. Damn rich people, he thought it would show how well off he is to buy something so expensive just to use them as a paperweight.”

The man picked up a pair of the eyes, turning it around for a moment. “Tell you what, the boss barely even remembers he has these. I’ll give them to you, for a price.”

This is the outcome Kurapika had been hoping for. The blonde opened his satchel and showed the man it’s contents. It was stuffed full of money, enough to leave the man well off. “Is this enough?”

The man rubbed his hands together, laughing. “Oh yeah, that’s plenty. Come on, I’ll hand you the eyes, you hand me the money.”

Kurapika nodded, waiting for the man to pick up all of the eyes before he approached him.

The blonde paused for a second as he made eye contact with one of the pairs. (Name) could sense a shift in his mood, his heart thumping wildly, loud enough for her to hear. She caught him staring into the scarlet eyes. ‘Is that pair… special?’

It made her even more determined to help him tiger the pair, and she gently nudged Kurapika forward. He gave her an appreciative smile for her support before continuing on his way.

“Honestly, I’m glad to be rid of the nasty things. The boss brings them almost everywhere, they’re freaky looking. I bet whoever they belonged to were monsters.”

(Name) winced, knowing what was coming. It all happened so fast. First, Kurapika’s eyes turned a deep scarlet, but it seemed he was unaware of it. They hadn’t planned on seeing anyone, so he’d forgotten to put in his contacts.

The man’s face dropped, his eyes widening in fear as Kurapika moved to attack, the man doing the same. By doing this, he let the eyes fall from his grip.

(Name) rushed forward, barely making it in time to catch the eyes and roll out of the way as their battle began. The man attacked Kurapika with his nen, making the blonde jump back. Kurapika spared a glance in (Name)’s direction to make sure she and the eyes were okay before he summoned his chains.

She set the eyes in a safe position before readying herself to fight. Before she could move forward, Kurapika yelled out. “Don’t come closer, stay back!”

(Name) huffed, standing guard in front of the eyes as the two battled it out.

“How dare you call them monsters! They were murdered in cold blood blood, their eyes ripped from their skulls! They did this to everyone, to children!”

(Name)’s heart ached for him. His voice was cracking, his eyes filling with angry tears.

“Kurapika…”

She tried to move forward to comfort him, but he pushed her back. “I said STAY BACK!”

She went flying, her arm catching on the sharp end of a table. It ripped through her sleeve, leaving a gash on her upper arm. Blood dripped onto the floor, the smell causing Kurapika to freeze.

This small moment was enough for the man to get the upper hand, kicking Kurapika in the chest as the blonde dealt his own punch to the man’s face. They were both sent sprawling to the floor, (Name) rushing over to kneel at Kurapika’s side.

“F-fuck, I heard something crack.”

Kurapika’s breathing was uneven, his hand tenderly running across his chest. “Kurapika, shit, I think he broke a few ribs!”

She activated her nen, holding her hands over his chest to begin healing him. “This is going to take a lot of stamina to heal, we’ll have to get the eyes and-“

“No, no we have to take him down!”

(Name) stared down at the blonde, feeling him try to sit up. “Kurapika, what the hell are you thinking? Let’s just retreat while we still c-“

“HE CALLED MY PEOPLE MONSTERS, (NAME)!”

She flinched, recoiling slightly. Kurapika sat up, coughing up blood. “I’m activating emperors time. Just get the fuck out of my way!”

“No!”

Kurapika paused, whipping his head around to glare at her. “No? What else can we do? He needs to die, I can’t-“

She pushed him back into his back, continuing to heal him. “Just give me a damn second! There… there is one thing I can do, and… and I’ll do it if you stay still and let me heal you, but-“

“Then do it! Do it now!”

The man was approaching them, his cheek and eye swollen. As he reached out to try and attack (Name), she grabbed his wrist, concentrating her nen there.

Kurapika watched as the man writhed in agony, the flesh on his arm turning purple, then black as it rotted away before turning into dust. It spread up to his shoulder before stopping, the man screaming and falling to the floor, tears falling down his face as he writhed.

Kurapika sighed, leaning back to relax. The man wasn’t a threat like that. “Ah, nice job (Name). You really-“

He looked up to see her lip bleeding as she bit into it, her face scrunched up. Kurapika could still feel her nen coursing through his body to mend his broken ribs. As soon as he was healed, she let out a scream, falling to the ground and writhing in pain.

“(NAME)!?”

Her eyes were squeezed shut as she wailed, her back arching. (Name) began to tremble, her body twisting in agony.

“(Name)! Please, what’s wrong? I-“

The sound of multiple sets of footsteps running down the fall made him pause.

“Hey, I think someone broke into the boss’ room!”

“Call back up!”

Kurapika cursed under his breath. “(Name), we have to get out of here! I’ll grab the eyes, and…”

She wasn’t answering, still sobbing as she clawed at the ground, her fingernails breaking and bleeding. When she couldn’t do that, she grasped her arms, her nails puncturing her skin, her chest heaving. “No! No stop!”

He pinned her arms down, using his chains to restrain her. Kurapika felt his chest tighten, his eyes darting to the hallway. (Name) couldn’t move in this state, how would he be able to get her and the eyes?

‘I… I can only take one…’

He glanced between her and the eyes, cursing to himself. Kurapika knew what he would pick, his eyes filling with tears.

He exited through the window, leaving something precious behind.

——————

The underground room’s lighting was dim, the air smelling musty and damp. (Name) was wearing her work uniform, glancing to the doorway before turning her attention to the creature in front of her.

“You’re not getting past me. I have a baby to protect,” she said cooly, letting her nen surge around her. The creatures claws glinted into the low light, it’s form being revealed to her.

It was mantis like, but colorful and pink, almost like… a flower. As it crept closer, (Name) could hear it muttering something. She felt her eyes go wide, terror overtaking her heart.

“No… no it can’t be!”

Sun filtered in through the window, shining down on (Name)’s sleeping face. She grunted in discomfort, her eyes shooting open.

(Name) panted softly, the nightmare still fresh in her mind. Right after the Chimera Ant incident, she had frequent nightmares about what went down in that underground room. Although the nightmares became less with time, they came back when she experienced severe stress.

That’s when the memories of the event came back. She attempted to sit up, but couldn’t. (Name) glanced around the room, calming down slightly when she realized she was in a hospital room. To her left there was a bouquet of flowers on a table, along with a basket of her favorite snacks and toiletries.

She smiled, knowing that Leorio had to have been the one that got it for her. Who else knew that she had a love for (snack)?

When she looked to the right, her eyes widened slightly. Sitting in a chair next to her bed, leaning over to look at her was Kurapika. There were bags under his eyes, and his hair was an absolute mess.

When he saw she was awake, his breath hitched, eyes filling with tears. “Y-you’re awake!”

He squeezed her hand, lifting it to his cheek so he could fully feel her warmth. The past few days, she’d been cold, much too cold. Now, she was warm, her pretty (e/c) eyes looking at him in concern.

“K… Kura…”

Her throat was hoarse, and she was struggling to speak. Kurapika jumped in his seat, s quickly walking over to a small mini fridge and pulling out a bottle of water. “Here, you’ve been out for several… several days.”

He lifted her head, letting her sip slowly. The water helped to soothe her parched throat. Kurapika’s hand was a little shaky, so some water dribbled down her chin, making her shiver as it slipped under her shirt.

He pulled the bottle back, capping it before setting her head back onto the pillow. She blinked slowly, still adjusting to the bright light of the room.

“The… the eyes… did…”

Kurapika was silent, his foot tapping against the floor as she spoke. “… you passed out, and I had to carry you so no, I couldn’t get the scarlet eyes.”

There was a hint of resentment lacing his words, and she couldn’t help but feel bad. Although she’d been trying to help him, she still ended up being the reason he couldn’t recover the eyes.

“I left the eyes behind because… of you.”

‘It’s your fault.’

The words went unspoken, but (Name) knew what he meant. Kurapika’s face was pained, and she could remember the look of agony in his eyes when they met with one of the pairs of scarlet eyes. There had been something special about that pair, and she could tell he was upset.

“Now… now we won’t be able to get the eyes. They’ll be on high alert, making infiltration next to impossible.”

Kurapika put his head in his hands, letting out a sigh of frustration. (Name) looked away, gripping the hospital blanket keeping her warm.

“Why… why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me about the condition you placed on your nen?!”

She flinched when he yelled at her, her lip quivering. “I-I tried to tell you when-“

“(Name), you should have told me way before we were in a life threatening mission! Jesus Christ, you could have died!”

(Name) stared at her blanket, sighing. “… and?”

Kurapika blinked, absolutely flabbergasted at her nonchalant attitude. “And..? (Name), you-“

“Why are you mad at me? Why didn’t you get the eyes?”

“Because I would have had to leave you!”

“See, that’s the part I’m not getting. Didn’t you say that if my death benefited your mission, you would let me die? You should have just left me behind…”

Kurapika stared at her, as if thinking her words over. ‘She’s not wrong, I did say that. And… and I meant it… didn’t I?’

When he was choosing between her and the eyes, the thought of leaving her alone to be captured or killed made his heart ache and his body tremble. It only took him a split second to decide. He couldn’t live without her.

And that was bad.

Part of him wanted so badly to console her, to let her now exactly how much she meant to him. But another part told him that letting himself love her, allowing her to help him and be close to him was only hurting her. So instead of giving sweet words and reassuring touches, Kurapika stood up and brushed off his pants.

“… I’m going back to the house. You’re awake now, I’ll alert a nurse on my way out. I’ll be back to pick you up in a few days.”

She watched him walk towards the door, sitting up slightly. “You’re leaving..?”

He paused in the doorway, not looking back. “… yes. Just lie back down and sleep.”

(Name)’s lip trembled and her eyes watered up as the door closed behind Kurapika. She was all alone in a hospital room, her only company the bouquet of flowers someone had left her.

———————

(Name) sat in her hospital room, munching on sugar free pudding. It tasted meh, but she was hungry.

It had been nearly two days since Kurapika left, and besides a few phone calls with Killua, she hadn’t had any company.

“I’m sorry I can’t come to see you, mom.” Killua said into the phone, his voice soft. (Name) laughed, trying to sound unbothered.

“It’s okay baby, I know going into hospitals is hard for you. Especially after…”

They both went silent, (Name) fiddling with the blanket. “… anyways, I’ll talk to you later. I’m going to take a nap before my X-ray.”

“Okay mom, I love you!”

“I love you too, baby.”

She sighed, placing her phone back on the charger. (Name) wondered who brought her charger there for her. Maybe Leorio?

A nurse knocked on the door, opening it shortly after. “Miss (Last Name)?”

(Name) looked up. “Yes?”

“You have a visitor!”

She felt her eyes widen, her heart fill with hope. She’d been so alone for the past two days, maybe Leorio or Kurapika had come to keep her company!

“Hello, (Name).”

Her face fell, a sigh escaping her lips. “… hello, Pariston.”

The man smiled, slipping into the room. He held a small planter filled with poppies, setting it next to the bouquet. (Name) found out that boquet was from Alluka earlier that day during her call with Killua, and she felt a little strange seeing a “gift” from Pariston next to it.

“What do you want?”

Pariston gave a fake pout, sitting in the chair next to her bed. “What do I want? How rude, I came here to make sure you were alright! I even brought your favorite flowers!”

(Name) huffed, bringing her cover up to her chest. “You never come to see me without a reason, and you don’t give people gifts. There’s always a catch.”

Pariston grinned that creepy grin of his, leaning his face against his hand. “Ahh, you’re not easy to fool, are you (Name)? I think you know why I’m here.”

She nodded, glancing down at her arm. It was bandaged, but her wounds were almost completely healed. “Were you the person that sent the Enhancer to speed up my healing? I thought I told you not to tell anyone I can’t heal myself anymore!”

Pariston paused, his smile fading. “Enhancer? No, I didn’t send anyone. That’s…” he thought for a moment, then laughed. “I think I know who did it though.”

“Tell me!”

“Nope~ if they didn’t tell you already, they don’t want you to know.”

The man smiled, his expression becoming more neutral. “Back on topic, you know why I’m here. You used your ability again.”

Her grip tightened on her blanket. “I did, and as you can see, the condition still works. If I use my ability against someone and it causes them pain, I experience that pain tenfold.”

Pariston nodded. “Yeah, I see that it works. You still used your ability though, and as you know, that goes against your orders.”

She huffed, crossing her arms. “You aren’t the Chairman anymore, so that order is null and void.”

“It is, but Chairwoman Cheadle is going to be contacting you within an hour to reinstate that order.”

“And if I don’t agree to it?”

They stared at each other for a moment, before Pariston glanced at the poppies he brought. “You would do best to follow orders, if you value the friends you have left.”

(Name)’s eyes widened, the area around her buzzing with her nen. “… are you threatening me?”

Pariston, who had stepped out of her range smiled, heading towards the door. “You know I’m not above using threats to get what I want. Just agree to Chairwoman Cheadle’s proposal, and everything will be okay.”

And with that, he was gone. (Name) was left trembling and struggling to control her nen. As he said, Cheadle called her within an hour to make the new order.

And with her friends’ lives on the line, how could she refuse?

——————

On her third day awake at the hospital, (Name) got a phone call from Leorio. “Hey sunshine, make sure you get packed up because Kurapika and Killua will be coming tonight to pick you up.”

She sighed in relief. (Name) was on her last pair of clean panties, and was glad she’d get to go home and see her friends again.

And so she could enact her plan. “Okay, thanks for the heads up Leorio! I’ll make sure I’m all packed up!”

(Name) sighed, hanging up after a short goodbye and glancing at her phone.

‘It’s moving again…’

She sighed softly, thinking back to their failed mission. While Kurapika and the man had been busy fighting, she put a tracker on one set of the eyes, knowing that something could go awry when Kurapika’s anger entered to picture.

(Name) moved about her room, packing up her clothes and carrying her flowers and basket downstairs when she got a text from Killua saying they were on their way.

It was nearly dark as (Name) stepped out into the cold autumn evening. She watched the sunset as she waited, shivering. She wasn’t sure who packed her overnight bag, but not a single thing besides her zip up hoodie was appropriate for the weather.

She sighed in relief when the mom van pulled up to the hospital, but raised her eyebrow when it nearly crashed into a column then parked crookedly. ‘Is Kurapika drunk?’

She carried her things to the van, stopping when the drivers door opened. (Name) nearly dropped her things when Killua stepped out of the drivers side. “K-Killua? Why are you driving the van? Did Kurapika leave?”

“No, he’s at home. He didn’t leave, I left him.”

(Name) blinked, feeling her phone buzz in her pocket. It was Kurapika.

She answered her phone. “Hello!”

“Killua isn’t answering his phone, he took off in the van!”

“I’m well aware. Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.”

She hung up before he could continue. Killua was about to laugh, but she gave him a look that shut him up. “Killua, you shouldn’t worry Kurapika like that. It’s not nice.”

The white haired boy shrunk under her gaze, his shoe kicking at a rock. “Sorry, mom… I just… I just didn’t like that… you were here all alone, and wanted to come get you so we could… spend some time together….”

Her expression softened as she reaches out to gently cup his cheeks. His eyes widened, his cheeks turning pink as she leaned forward to kiss his forehead. “Thank you, that’s very sweet of you. I… I have something I have to do before we can spend time together though.”

Killua tilted his head, watching her pull out her phone and turn it towards him. “I placed a tracker on one of the pairs of the scarlet eyes.”

Killua laughed, grinning. “Mom, you’re badass!”

She smiled back, grabbing the keys from him. “Let’s get going, Killua. I’ve got some eyes to steal.”

——————

Kurapika cursed, dropping his phone onto his bed. His foot tapped at the floor in agitation as he thought back over his last interaction with (Name). He’d left her all alone at the hospital, and just the thought of it made his chest ache.

He rubbed at his eyes, a soft sigh leaving his lips. ‘I had to leave, I… I was so tired and angry, I… I didn’t want to snap… at her…’

Unbeknownst to (Name), the blonde had stayed awake for nearly four days watching over her. He was filled with anxiety and dread, guilt eating him alive. Kurapika wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep until he knew she was okay. It was his fault this ever happened to her after all, and if he’d just listened to her explanation maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

It was almost a form of self harm, restricting his food and sleep to make up for hurting her. The gash on her arm made him want to vomit, he promised himself he’d never hurt her again, and here she was. In a hospital bed, all because of him.

But by the time she woke up, he’d overthought the situation into the dirt, his mind exhausted. He wanted to blame her, the mean and nasty side of his coming out. Before he could take out his anger and pain on her, he left. It broke his heart when she asked if he was leaving.

‘Why… why am I so agitated about not getting that specific set of scarlet eyes?’

It’s not like he hadn’t failed missions before. He lost several pairs over the two years they’d been apart, but he would usually be able to recover them. This time he didn’t know if it was possible, so it pissed him off even further.

In his heart he knew she wasn’t at fault, after all without her he wouldn’t have even been able to TRY to get the pair in the first place. He couldn’t help but almost resent her though, for being so important to him. The thought of leaving her behind made him heave, his heart ache and his body freeze.

This was what he feared, falling in love with her and being unable to live without her. That attachment was a hindrance to his mission, and he wanted to hate her for it.

But he just couldn’t.

Thinking of her, her pretty face when she slept so soundly those four days made his heart race. He could go without food, without sleep if it meant he could look at her for forever. Leorio begged him to take a break, to come home so he could rest. Kurapika said no every time, clinging to her hand.

“No, no I’m not leaving her. She’s mine, back off.”

If only he could say those kinds of things here (Name) was awake.

He cursed himself for being a coward, laying back into his bed and looking up at the ceiling. There were little glowing stars stuck up there. He could faintly remember mentioning to (Name) that staring at the stars helped him sleep when he missed home. He had fallen asleep under the starry night sky with Pairo next to him more times than he could count.

It was comforting, really. Not the stars, no, it was the fact that name hung them up there to make him feel more at home that made his heart melt in his chest. She truly was the epitome of kindness and love.

Kurapika knew he didn’t deserve her, she’d probably live a much better life with someone like Leorio or hell, even some of the other hunters like Kite or Knuckle.

But he was selfish. The thought of another man touching her, loving her made his eyes flare with a bright scarlet. He hated this possessive part of himself. In his mind, he knew it was better to let her go and distance himself as much as possible for her safety and happiness.

However, his heart was sitting in the palm of her hand. He wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon. Not voluntarily.

———————

(Name) drove around town, following the tracker as Killua yelled out directions. “Turn left!”

Eventually, the tracker was blinking in the same spot, and had been for the past five minutes. (Name) parked the mom van at a random gas station a short distance away before getting out.

When Killua began to follow her, she turned quickly. “Baby, no. I’m going in alone, you can’t come with me.”

Killua frowned, crossing his arms. “Why? Are you babying me, mom? I’m an assassin, I have much more experience in this type of thing than-“

“But you shouldn’t!”

Killua paused, his eyes widening slightly. “Mom…”

Her eyes were a little teary, her lip quivering. “You shouldn’t be used to killing, Killua, and when you’re with me, that will never be your burden to bear.”

She hugged him tight, kissing the top of his head. “I’ll be back within an hour, then we’ll go get burgers. That sound good, bud?”

He nodded slowly, burying his face into her shoulder. “Yeah…”

After giving him another tight squeeze, she left, the smile on her face dropping as soon as she turned around.

(Name) shivered from the cold, glancing down at her phone to follow the tracker. It seemed it was stopped at a restaurant, a Waffle House to be specific. Was the owner of the eyes… eating at Waffle House? Why would be bring the eyes with him?

‘He’s probably all packed up to go home.’

That explanation made sense, and (Name) picked up the pace. When she got there, she followed the tracker to a black Mercedes parked in the back. She could have just used her nen to disintegrate the back of the car and take the eyes, but (Name) wanted to confront the man.

People that contributed to Kurapika’s agony needed to be dealt with. His trauma was so intense he couldn’t trust people, he couldn’t even trust her. If she was being honest, this was a good opportunity to let out all of the frustration and anger she’d been keeping inside of her.

The man walked out of the back door. He was short and stout, carrying a takeout back and talking with someone over the phone. (Name) stood by his car, silent.

The man noticed her, but seemed to not acknowledge her as a threat. He pocketed his phone, setting his takeout bag on the sidewalk. “You homeless? I ain’t got nothing for you, be on your way.”

He shooed at her, but (Name) didn’t budge. She looked up, the good of her jacket covering everything but the bottom half of her face. “You have a pair of the scarlet eyes, yes?”

The man suddenly seemed a lot less smug, reaching for his phone. (Name) rushed forward, covering his mouth and taking his phone. “Don’t. Scream, and I’ll kill you.”

She waited for him to stop struggling before she pulled her hand from his mouth. “Answer.”

“I-I do, but you can have them! Just don’t hurt me!”

(Name) stayed quiet, as the man unlocked his car and offered the eyes to her. She nearly threw up at the state of Kurapika’s family.

The containers were tipped over, the glass covered in filth. She look them into her arms, holding them tight as she gave the man a disgusted look. “You know these are the body parts of people that were once alive, right? How dare you treat them with such disregard!”

Her eyes widened at the sight of a gun in the man’s hand. She had felt it on him when she searched him a minute before, so he must of had it hidden in his car. She was too busy being disgusted over the state he kept Kurapika’s family in to keep track of him.

“Who cares, they’re dead and gone. I heard those filthy Kurtas were involved in witchcraft, that’s how they got those demonic red eyes.”

The man grinned down at her, pressing the gun into the back of her head. “That doesn’t matter, though. You’ll be joining them soon. Hell, I’ll take your eyes too. They’re a nice (e/c) color.”

As he clicked the safety off, (Name) looked into the scarlet eyes. False rumors and discrimination against anything that was different from the norm was the reason Kurapika’s family was dead, that and the human nature to take what they wanted no matter the consequences.

Before she met Kurapika, (Name) had heard the rumors of the Kurta Clan being demonic and evil, getting their red eyes from eating human flesh or killing innocents. The story was different every time she heard it, so she stopped believing in it. She remembered how people treated her differently because of how she looked and parts of her body and identity she couldn’t change. It was the reason she felt no fear when Kurapika’s eyes first turned scarlet.

She knew how kind Kurapika was, and heard the stories of his people and family. They were good, kind people, and they didn’t bother anyone. Despite hiding away from the outside world, they were still targeted and massacred. They couldn’t even live freely alone, they had to be taken out. She wasn’t sure if it was because of greed or if people were scared of them. Both reasons were stupid to (Name).

Within a flash, the gun was knocked out of the man’s hand and (Name) was on top of him, slamming her fists into his face. “YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!”

Tears fell down her face, not of sadness, but of absolute anger. “You didn’t know them, they were people, people who loved their families and wanted to be safe and happy, just like everyone else!”

She wasn’t going to use her nen. It wasn’t even because of the order given to her by Cheadle and Pariston. No, she wanted to draw this out. This man was one of the reasons for Kurapika’s pain, he treated the bodies of the dead as if they were items to collect, items to show off to other people as if they were a prize.

Whenever Kurapika showed up at her apartment in York New, it’s when she became determined to gather the scarlet eyes to help him find peace. The way he cried and sobbed into her shirt like a child until he passed out from exhaustion chilled her to the bone.

She had seen the result of Kurapika’s nightmares, heard the gut wrenching screams of despair. She couldn’t let a person who disregarded that pain live.

She stood up, bringing her foot down onto his crotch. “You don’t deserve to live, you use your money to get what you want, you kill and order others to kill for you without any guilt!”

The man screamed in agony, but he was soon silenced when her sneaker came down on his face. Something came over her, she stomped on his face over and over, blood spraying on the sidewalk and splashing onto her face and clothes.

She kept going, even after there was nothing left of his head but mush. (Name) probably would have never stopped, but someone gently pulled her back, far enough away so that she couldn’t continue her actions.

“Mom… he’s dead.”

Killua had his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her back more. She didn’t answer Killua, didn’t say a single word.

Many didn’t know this, but when he was nervous, Killua would prattle on and on. “Hey, that guy sucked. It’s good your first kill was someone that deserved ut, I wasn’t as lucky!”

He doesn’t seem to notice the way she stared at the corpse, eyes blank. “You know, for an amateur, that wasn’t half bad. You got a little sloppy at the end though. If you want it end then fast, there’s a soft spot on the skull. Going for the neck just paralyzes them. Unless you wanted to drag it out in which case, not bad.”

Once he noticed she was speaking, just staring blankly at the man she just killed, Killua went quiet for a moment. He grabbed her sleeve, pulling her away. “It’s… it’s not good to think too much about it.”

She finally looks up when crouches next to the body, using two fingers to lift the man’s sleeve. “What should we do with the body? Want me to toss his body in the lake so we can be accountable together?”

It was his attempt at a joke, trying to get his mom to laugh instead of stare blankly at the corpse below her.

“Don’t bother. Scum like him deserves to rot out in the open. Let the birds pick him clean.”

With that, he realized that killing that man has actually fucked her up. Something that completely altered her brain chemistry is just a normal Tuesday night for him.

It made his chest ache a little, but he sighed before looking down at the body, shrugging and standing up. “Alright, it’s your kill. Your rules.”

The two walked towards the van, each carrying a set of the eyes. “They’re… heavier than you’d think.” Killua said, trying to lighten the mood again.

Maybe it was the actual weight of them, or the knowledge that these eyes belonged to someone Kurapika knew and loved. Even Killua could understand the importance of these eyes, he had seen the exact same shade in Kurapika’s eyes.

After finally reaching the van, (Name) spoke for the first time since taking the man’s life.

“Sorry you had to witness that…”

Killua perked up immediately, feeling a strange since of relief that she was finally speaking.

“You got a little messy at the end if I’m being honest. But that first move was pretty smooth, and I’ve seen more red splatters in my Uber Eats bag after ordering tomato soup. If that was you, I’d give you at least 4 stars and a 20% tip.”

She froze, setting the pair of eyes in the van before throwing up onto the pavement. Killua jumped, setting eyes in the car before rushing over to hold her hair back. “Shit!”

He had been trying to help, but Killua feared he may have just ruined tomato soup for her for the foreseeable future. After she finally stopped, she coughed, shivering in the cold and looking up at him weakly.

“I’m sorry hun, I-“

“Stop apologizing already. You’ve looked after me for years, let me look after you for once. You said yourself it’s okay to need help sometimes.”

Killua left for a second, returning with some crumpled napkins she kept in the car. He wiped her mouth, then tossed the dirty napkin onto the ground. (Name) was too exhausted to scold him for littering, allowing him to help her to her feet.

She stumbled her way to the backseat, shrugging off her jacket and using it to gently wipe away any blood or filth from the cases holding the scarlet eyes.

She sighed softly. “Killua… baby…”

He looks up, seeing her taking the keys from her pocket. “Do you know the way home?”

He’s allowed to drive? Sure, he practiced before without her knowledge (or at least he thought- plus there was that time Leorio let him do donuts in the mall parking lot at night last month) but she was allowing him to drive the mom van? Even if he was going to be legally old enough for a drivers license next year anyway, it still didn’t feel real.

He just wished it was under better circumstances. Killua took the keys, nodding slowly. “Yeah, yeah I know the way.”

Killua couldn’t even be excited about getting to drive the car, because (Name)’s hand were trembling and she looked like she was going to throw up again. “I’m trusting you, Killua…”

Her trust was supposed to feel good, but right now it almost felt like a burden. Heavy. Killua took a deep breath, deciding to think of something else. He had a job to do, he needed to get his mom home. (Name) trusted him to do it.

He glanced at her, his eyebrow raising slightly at the sight of her using her jacket to cover the eyes.

“You aren’t gonna keep your jacket on? It’s 40°.”

He heard her mutter something something respect for the dead before wrapping the eyes in her blood stained jacket and holding them close to her. Once upon a time, these eyes were alive. It wouldn’t feel right to treat them as anything less than human.

(Name) curled up in the passenger seat, holding the eyes in a protective grip as her eyes stared out the window. It had began to rain, and Killua’s hand was shaking as he started the engine.

“You’re going to be freezing.”

“Turn the heat on.”

“But-“

“Killua, dead or alive this was still a person. They deserve to be able to rest comfortably.” This was the most she had spoken the whole ride home. Killua sighs.

“…okay. I’ll have to wait until a red light though, I don’t feel comfortable searching the dashboard while I’m in motion,” she hummed in acknowledgment, shivering as she held the eyes closer to her.

“We should get you a cupcake to celebrate your first kill, it was gnarly! His whole head was like a watermelon and you were all bam! POW! POP! you know?”

“…”

“Oh shit, I mean, wanna get burgers? It’s two dollar Tuesday.”

After a few minutes of silence, Killua spoke up again.

“… want me to kill the next one so we can be even?”

“No, no that’s okay. Let’s go get burgers now.”

———————

When he pulled in for burgers, it was like trying to re-establish some sense of normalcy. Like gathering the energy to brush your teeth when your best friend just died. Trying to find comfort in the mundane.

He ordered them food, even something for Kurapika, and a hint of a smile appeared on her face. “You remembered my order…”

“Of course I did, you always get the same thing! A little boring but oh well.”

Killua tapped away at the steering wheel nervously. He kept saying things randomly, blurting out things that made her nauseous or upset. He hated that he felt the need to fill the silence left between the two. It was instinctual, because when he was a child, silence either meant you were in trouble or you were about to be scolded.

And his family’s version of scolding was violent.

He knew she wasn’t in any state to cook, so grabbing burgers was their best bet. Though, Killua wasn’t sure she’d even be able to eat.

Killua sighed, and hopped out of the van. He came back a few minutes later with Kurapika running at his heels, scrambling to open the door. (Name) almost fell forward from the sheer velocity he tore it open, holding onto the eyes for dear life in case she she tumbling out. Thankfully, Killua had enough sense to push her back a little, noticing how cold she was to the touch.

Kurapika noticed her hands were covered in blood. She didn’t want to get blood on his clan’s eyes, and he knew despite never having met you, if his relatives were still around to see the gesture today, they’d be touched. Always putting everyone else’s comfort ahead of her own.

“These… they’re the… they’re the eyes I left behind.”

He pushed the hood out of the to the side just bough to read the inscription on the top for a confirmation. It’s the same number as the one the two missed last week. As sickening as it was that they numbered each of them like a rare commodity, it soothed him a little knowing he wouldn’t be stuck wondering what happened to that specific pair, especially considering how connected he felt to the pair on the left.

Without another word, he took the eyes and walked inside. Killua watched, figuring he would thank her once he put the eyes somewhere safe.

The white haired boy helped (Name) inside, sitting her on the couch. She stared at the floor, still shivering from the cold. At least, Killua hoped it was from the cold.

He waited 10 minutes for Kurapika to come out and say something, anything to (Name). She just killed someone, put herself through trauma for him.

Eventually, Killua stormed towards Kurapika’s room, throwing the door open to see the blonde sitting on the bed and staring at one of the pairs, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Killua couldn’t care less about Kurapika right now, his mother, the woman that took him in and kept him safe when no one else would was in a state of agony, trying to process the knowledge that she just ended a human’s life.

“What the fuck are you doing? Do you realize what (Name) just did to get those eyes for you?”

Kurapika looked up, wiping at his face. “She… what did she do? She’s not hurt, is she?”

Killua scoffed. “You didn’t even bother to check if she was hurt? Jesus Christ Kurapika get your priorities straight! Those eyes aren’t alive anymore, they can wait 5 god damn minutes so you can make sure the woman you supposedly “love” is okay!”

Kurapika’s eyes flashed red, his fist clenching. “Don’t act like you understand me, Killua. These eyes-“

“Shut up! Shut up and go do something to comfort her! Can’t you understand she did this all for you, that she killed for you!?”

Kurapika’s heart nearly stopped, his eyes going wide as they faded back to their soft brown color. “… kill?”

Killua nodded, his hands clenched into fists. “Yeah, and it really fucked her up! She… she stared at the corpse, and threw up on the way home…”

Kurapika moved past Killua, running down the stairs. The throw blanket that Killua had covered (Name) with lied in the middle of the floor, and he could hear the sink running.

“(Name)..?”

She was in the kitchen, bent over the sink washing a glass cup and staring into it listlessly. It was clean, and he watched her for a moment before walking closer.

He took the cup from her gently, his eyes widening when he saw the state of her hands.

Her knuckles were split and bruised and her hands were trembling. She was in pain, but it didn’t show on her face.

Kurapika almost wanted her to be angry that he didn’t immediately check on her. Anything was better than seeing the vibrant woman he fell in love with look so… empty.

He watched as she continued the washing motions, even though the cup was gone.

“(Name)…”

Tears fell down his cheeks as he gently held her hands in his, pulling him to her chest as he held her close to him. “Please… you… you didn’t have to do that for me. Why… why do you keep putting yourself in danger to help me when you get nothing in return? I… I don’t understand…”

(Name) was quiet for a moment, her eyes still fixated on the same spot in the sink. “… I love you, Kurapika. That’s… why…”

(Name) had told Kurapika she loved him several times, but this time it felt different. Her love weighed heavy on his chest, a testament of how far she would go to try and lift his burdens off his shoulders.

Leorio had been right, she was in love with him.

“No… no! No don’t love me! You… you can’t love me!”

He shook her, full on sobbing now. “Please… can’t you see loving me is only hurting you? I’m on a path that no one should follow me on, especially you! You’re…”

‘You’re too important.’

She finally looked up to meet his eyes. “I know. I’m useless, I’m too weak and I’ll never be enough for you… that’s what you wanted to say in the car on our way to get the eyes last week, isn’t it? You wanted to say you didn’t… feel the same way I did…”

He wanted to deny what she was saying, to ease the absolute agony in her eyes, but he couldn’t speak. Kurapika was choking up, his hands gripping her shoulders so tightly he knew that there would be bruises there later. Neither seemed to care.

“Kurapika…”

She pushed his hands away, walking towards the stairs. “My… my heart… this entire weak, it felt like it was breaking. I love you so much, I really… I really thought there might be a day where we could be together…”

(Name) thought about every instance where he abandoned her, berated her, left her to chase after the Phantom Troupe or scarlet eyes. Him not even checking up on her after she walked in, covered in blood and barely hanging on had been the breaking point.

“I’ve always known I could never be the most important thing in your life…”

She looked back at him, tears finally falling from her blank eyes. “But I at least thought that I was something to you. Guess not.”

Kurapika watched as she walked upstairs, his eyes wide with terror. Before he could chase after her, Killua grabbed his arm, shaking his head. “No, leave her be. She needs some time to be alone.”

The blonde’s face was still a mess, tears rolling down his cheeks. Killua wasn’t the best at comforting others, especially when he didn’t like them all that much.

But (Name) loved Kurapika, so Killua walked over to the takeout bag and handed the blonde a burger. “Here, we picked up dinner on the way home,” he said softly, looking away.

Kurapika stared down at it, feeling his heart thump painfully against his chest. Even when she was at her worst, (Name) made sure that they would all be fed.

‘I’m so fucking selfish.’

—————————

(Name) fell into a restless sleep once she fell into her bed. She was emotionally and physically exhausted, and hadn’t even bothered to take off her bloody clothing.

She tossed and turned, finally able to sleep somewhat decently a little past midnight.

(Name) hadn’t been expecting to have anything but nightmares that night, but instead of the images of the man she murdered flashing in her mind, she felt… peaceful.

A field of poppies stretched around her as far as she could see. When she looked around, she noticed she was sitting at a bench, an empty teacup in her hands.

“You’ll catch a cold, dear.”

A jacket was draped over her shoulders. (Name) hadn’t noticed before, but the air was chilly, and she was shivering. “Th-thank you…”

Warmth spread through her body, and she could feel someone sitting beside her, their leg touching hers. “You’ve had a long week, haven’t you?”

The voice was soft and feminine, a hint of concern lacing her words. A hand was placed on her leg, the person’s touch gentle, yet firm. She noticed she couldn’t turn her head to look at the person next to her, but that didn’t scare or concern her. (Name) felt strangely comforted by the woman’s presence, finally able to relax. “Yes… it was… not easy.”

“Not easy is an understatement. You’ve been under a lot of stress, forced to bear all of this pain alone.”

Tears began to fall from (Name)’s eyes. It had been difficult to contain her turbulent emotions for the past week, no, for the past two years. She felt like she just had her heart broken all over again.

“I… I love him so much… I want him to be happy, I want to give-“

The woman gently held her hands that gripped the teacup. “You can’t give when your cup is empty, dear. Let yourself be filled back up, before you try and give more.”

The teacup filled up with with a steaming, amber liquid. “Go ahead, drink. Tea is good for the soul.”

(Name) raised the cup to her lips, taking a sip. It was perfectly sweet, with a peachy aftertaste. It helped calm her nerves, and clear her mind.

The warmth of the woman’s hands caressed her cheek, wiping away (Name)’s tears. “Thank you… I-“

(Name) was finally able to turn her head to look at the woman, but all she caught was a glimpse of blonde hair and a pleasant smile.

She woke up, noticing the chill in the air. However, she wasn’t cold. (Name) was tucked under her blanket, wearing a pair of clean pajamas and fuzzy socks on her feet.

‘I wonder… who got me changed…’

(Name) began to get up, ready to make breakfast for everyone when she remembered the woman’s words.

“You can’t give when your cup is empty, dear. Let yourself be filled back up, before you try and give more.”

Instead of getting up, (Name) curled up under her blanket, texting Killua that he could either make himself a bowl of cereal or order some takeout for breakfast.

She spent the early morning sleeping in, allowing herself some much needed rest.

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vhagarlovebot · 2 years ago

Text

JUST A FRIEND TO YOU ── PART 2.

♡. ── gif credit. ; ( aemond targaryen masterlist. )

pairing: modern!aemond x fem!reader and a little bit of cregan stark x fem!reader.

summary: after you agreed to go on the date, aemond realizes what a big mistake he has made.

warnings: pining, aemond regretting all of his life decisions basically and getting what he deserves, and angsty shit bc you know i love to make you all suffer.

note: hi besties! i didn’t wanna do a part two of this one shot but since a lot of you were asking me, i heard you and here you have. and i’m already thinking about writing a part 3? or maybe a mini series? even tho i said i don’t like it. i need help!! btw if there are any mistakes i apologize, but as some of you may know english is not my first language. hope you enjoy! reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated.

read part one here.

YOU REALLY DIDN’T WANT to go on that date but, as always, you couldn’t say no to aemond.

and it turns out, you had fun.

aemond’s girlfriend —or date, or girl friend? you don’t really know— is actually nice and you hate yourself for not being able to dislike her, she’s so freaking sweet that it makes you want to throw up. and as nice as she is, her friend is also very nice and a total gentleman. and also the quarterback of the college footfall team.

cregan stark made you forget all about aemond targaryen in just a couple of minutes with him. he knows how attractive he his and also how to use his charm with girls, because he had you flustered all night. he didn’t do anything more than just smile at you, pay for the dinner and drinks and walk you back to your dorm, kissing you goodnight. on the cheek. and just a couple of minutes after leaving, your phone buzzed with a new message asking for a second date.

but as much as you enjoyed the date, once you were alone with your thoughts your mind wandered back to the last person you wanted to think about.

you knew he was on a date too, he told you it was that day. you didn’t want to know but he told you anyways because you’re his best friend, he wants to share that kind of things with you. but you wish he wouldn’t, that way your heart wouldn’t break every time he opens his mouth.

and as you thought about aemond kissing another girl, you typed your answer to cregan.

when the next day came, you didn’t feel any better.

and it only got worse the second you bumped into aemond outside the coffee shop you were supposed to meet cregan.

“there you are! i’ve been looking for you everywhere.” he says, kissing you on the forehead.

not everywhere because you were in your dorm all day and he never, not once, came looking for you. weird it wasn’t his first option.

“here i am.” you try to sound nonchalant, your lips barely curling upwards.

“aren’t you going to ask me how it went?” aemond looks excited to tell you all about his date and you feel guilty for not wanting to know at all.

“i really want to know,” what a fucking liar you are. “but i can’t right now. maybe tomorrow?” you try convince him with that smile that says ‘pleaaaaaseeeee’ but aemond, for the first time in forever, it’s not convinced. even his smile instantly disappears.

“why?”

but you don’t have time to give him an answer because the answer walks out of the shop, two coffee in each hand and a big and radiant smile that only grows the second you make eye contact. and it’s strange, because your face lights up just by seeing someone that was a total stranger less than 24 hours ago.

“i was starting to think you stood me up.” cregan says, not acknowledging aemond at all, and leans to kiss you on the cheek just to hand you one coffee. “to show you i was paying attention last night.” just by the smell you know he got your coffee order right.

aemond clear his throat and you both turn to face him. your cheeks are impossibly red and you avoid his eyes, choosing to look at your shoes instead.

“oh sorry,” cregan chuckles, and gives aemond a pat on the shoulder. “i’m going to steal her for a while, you okay with that?” you didn’t know you could be any more embarrassed, but it is possible. and you hate it.

aemond nods, looking at you one final time before turning around and walking away, leaving you with a strange and awful feeling in your heart.

but cregan soon makes you forget about almost everything. and it keeps happening for the next couple of weeks. but even him and his friends can’t make you forget about him.

you have barely seen aemond since that day in the coffee shop. you tried to call him the next day to apologize but he only texted you that now he was busy and he would give you a call when he could; but that never happened and since that day your friendship has been reduced to short and cold text messages. and it hurts. but you’re decided to not let another day pass without talking to him. or just seeing him. you miss him and you wonder if he misses you too.

but after trying to communicate with aemond all day, calling him and messaging him over and over again, you give up. he clearly doesn’t want to talk to you and as much as it hurts, it angers you too.

“i’m sure he’s just busy and will call you as soon as he can.” cregan tries to calm you as he walks by your side, his thumb brushing a strand of hair out of your face.

you only nod as an answer, looking at your phone hoping to see a text from aemond.

“hey, look at me.” he stops walking, his hands cupping your face, softly forcing you to look at him. “forget about him and enjoy the party, okay?”

it’s very sweet how he’s always making sure you are fine and listening to you talk about your best friend, not once telling you that he actually doesn’t like the guy.

you thank him by standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek, making him chuckle and hold your hand resuming your walk.

the first thing you notice when entering the living room are cregan’s friends drinking and chatting, but what draws your attention the most is aemond. sitting on a couch in a corner, cigarette between his lips as he looks annoyed at you two.

you fight the urge to walk to him. you miss him so much but it looks like he doesn’t miss you at all. he probably hasn’t even think about you. and that’s why you accept the drink cregan hands you, sitting by his side and trying to ignore the pair of blue eyes on you.

unbeknownst to you, aemond hasn’t stopped thinking about you since the day you accepted that date. he really thought you were going to say no and he still doesn’t know why he asked you to do it, but he regrets it so much.

but he also knows how selfish and childish he’s being.

he can't keep his eyes away from you as you laugh about something that has everyone laughing too. but he only can hear your laugh, loud and clear, and it's like a knife cutting through his chest. he wants to talk to you so badly, he has missed you like crazy, but doesn't know how to do it, what to say. he's pretty sure you're going to snap at him.

however, that doesn't stop him from following you when he sees you standing and walking away.

you're pouring some vodka in a cup when he enters the kitchen. his hands are sweating and he feels so nervous it's pathetic.

"so," he says, but you don't look at him, you just keep doing what you are doing. and that makes him even more nervous. "enjoying the party?"

there's a lot of noise, between the loud music and people talking, but the silence coming from you is louder than that.

"i was thinking," aemond says again, trying to make you talk or at least react. "maybe tomorrow we can go watch that movie you told me about."

you laugh and aemond smiles, feeling relief. but then you turn to face him and all that disappears.

"are you serious?" you ask him, but you don't give him time to answer. "that was months ago, i stopped asking you to go with me because you always had an excuse." you shake your head, looking at the liquid in your cup, not wanting to look him in the eyes; it's easier this way. "and when you did say yes, you never showed up."

it's his time to avoid your eyes, looking down embarrassed.

"i don't have time for this, aemond. you wanted me to meet new people? i'm doing exactly that, i don't know what's your problem."

"you don't have time for me." he whispers but you hear it, and your blood boils.

"it doesn't feel nice, does it?" you try not to cry in front of him but the more he stands there, looking lost and sad, the harder it is. there is something about finally giving you your place that makes you say the thing you never thought you were going to say out loud. at least not to him. "i'm in love with you, aemond, but loving you is hurting me. and i know it's my fault for never telling you and i'm not asking you to say or do anything... i just wanted you to know now that i feel things between us can never go back to the way they were."

aemond takes a step towards you, hands itching to touch you, but at the same time you take one step away from him. you know that if he touches you, the little wall you've created will come crashing down.

when you finally make eye contact, you can see the fight inside his head. you don't hate him, you hate yourself for not telling him sooner, for letting things go this far.

you smile softly at him before turning on your heels and walking back to the living room, swallowing all the tears.

cregan knows something happened the minute you sit and he doesn't hesitate to wrap his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side, placing a kiss to your temple.

aemond watches everything frozen in place, your words replaying in his head over and over again.

maybe he did know you were in love with him and that's why he did what he did. the real question is, is he in love with you? aemond realizes that doesn't matter anymore as he watches you and cregan together, and how comfortable you are around your new friends.

he's got a lot to blame for too.

the question now is; is he really willing to lose you?

#📮 ⌇ my works ˖⋆࿐#modern!aemond #aemond targaryen x reader #cregan stark x reader #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond targaryen scenarios #aemond targaryen angst #aemond targaryen x you #aemond x reader #cregan x reader #hotd fanfic #hotd imagine #hotd x reader

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goodgirlofglory · 1 year ago

Text

In the balance - Chapter 9: the world in the balance

Chapter 8

/Masterpost/

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers x reader

Word count: 6,1k

Warnings: non-con (series), dub-con (series), descriptions of ptsd symptoms, panic attacks, descriptions and references to past psychological, sexual and physical abuse

Summary: your world is suddenly turned on it’s head when Steve leaves you in the care of his best friend to go hunt your attackers down. You just have to get through it until Steve returns, but that can prove difficult when Bucky starts to prod into you and Steve’s relationship...

Note: First of all, it’s been a year since i last updated this story and it’s been a bitch. I'm starting to see the ending approach though, which is great cuz im looking forward to write it🥰 For those of you who have been consistently commenting on how you were looking forward to the next chapter - THANK YOU! You guys kept me going<333 Hope you enjoy🦋

Your media consumption is your own responsibility, but I advise you not to interact if the contents of the warnings upset you!

Minors DO NOT INTERACT!🚫

Reblogs, likes, replies and asks are amazing💖

You stared out of the floor to ceiling window, vertigo sloshing in the back of your head as you peered down at the gridwork of roads and flashing lights, the cars and people looking like ants from all the way up here in the clouds. You wrapped the blanket tighter around yourself, fighting the nausea down.

A broad hand suddenly clasped around the back of your neck and you jolted.

“Whoah there, it’s just me,” Steve said as he gave your neck an affectionate squeeze. He stepped up behind you and wrapped you in his arms, his big, warm hands sliding down to stroke lovingly over your swollen belly. It was getting heavier for each day that passed, and the kid was getting more restless along with it. You leaned your head back against his chest, closing your eyes as he swayed you from side to side.

- a flash of light in the dark, cold marble under your bare feet, a sickening crunch. So much blood -

Your eyes shot open and you heaved for breath, suddenly choking on air.

“Whoah there, it’s alright,” Steve said, turning you around and putting his hands on your shoulders while bending down to catch your eyes. “I know this is a big change, and we both would rather be back home, but it’s not safe there anymore. Remember I told you that, buttercup? Not like up here. The building is heavily secured and no helicopter could sneak in - the city has a million eyes. You’re safe here, sweetheart, there’s no need to worry that pretty, little head. I’m gonna keep you safe like I always have,” he said, repeating what he’d been telling you over the last 24 hours as you’d moved across the country.

A penthouse in the middle of Manhattan, New York City. 8,4 million people right below you, crawling underfoot while you swayed up in the clouds, 1300 feet up in the air. Your worst nightmare a couple of months ago. Now, you didn’t really know how to feel. You were so tired, and confused. Your memories of that horrible night were blurry blotches, and you fought between not wanting to remember all those atrocious images of blood splattering and bones breaking, and feeling so panicky over the black spots in your recollection it made your head all loopy.

“Besides, Bucky will be here with you, to keep you safe until I return to you,” Steve continued, a hand coming up to stroke your cheek softly.

That’s right, Steve was leaving. After everything that had happened, Steve was leaving, almost right this second. To catch the guys that were behind the attack on the mansion and see that they’re put away, all so I can get back to you and the baby before it’s born, he’d said when you’d hidden your face in his chest and sobbed uncontrollably at him breaking the news of his departure.

You supposed you understood. He wanted the bad men in jail by the time you went into labor, so he could be with you from then on without worrying for your safety. You got the logic of it, it was now or never. It still terrified you. You needed Steve, and just when everything was going so well between you, he was leaving you. All alone in this huge, fancy penthouse in a city with millions of people. Okay, you knew you were being irrational and naggy and ungrateful. Steve had gotten you the most secure, safe and luxurious residence he could after the mansion, perhaps even more secure, under the ever watchful gaze of the city, breaking in would be even more difficult. Besides, Steve had apparently been their primary target that night, not you. So if he was out there hunting them hunting him, the target was off your back, collateral or not. Plus, Steve was leaving Bucky here for you.

Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes. There is no one in this world I trust more than him. He's the only one besides myself I would entrust with your safety. An old friend, the polar opposite of Steve. Scruffy where Steve was cleanly groomed, broody where Steve was charming, quiet where Steve knew the perfect things to say. You'd barely even spoken a word to Bucky, and he always seemed to have this glare directed your way, scrutinizing your every move with cold eyes under a heavy brow. Neither of you had seemed particularly pleased with the arrangement, but Steve had assured you Bucky was the sweetest, most nobel man out there, and that he would do this for you and Steve - no questions asked. Didn’t change the trickle of ice that ran down your spine at the way Bucky assessed you, the coldness in his stare, and the way it put you on edge.

So Steve was leaving, and you were to be alone in this strange, new home with a man you didn’t know. And you were seven and a half months pregnant. With Steve’s super enhanced baby. If you weren’t so sure of the baby’s strength, you’d worry about an early labor from all the duress you’d been under these last few days…

Steve pulled you into his arms, careful not to squish your belly too hard, and kissed the top of your head while stroking a soothing hand up and down your back. You needed his touch so bad, had become so addicted to his constant physical connection, you were already dreading the withdrawals when he left. You already felt lonely.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” he murmured into your hair, tilting your head back to tenderly kiss your lips. “You be a good girl for me, and treat Bucky like this is his home too,” he murmured against your lips, making you shiver. It had been days since he’d fucked you, you hadn’t had any time alone between moving residence and him planning whatever mission he was going on with his organisation. You were aching for him, body and soul, and weren’t ready for him to go. You weren’t ready…

But he left either way.

And then you were at a complete loss. What were you supposed to do in a penthouse all day without Steve? You couldn’t take walks like on the vast lawns of the mansion with the soft, perpetually green grass under your bare feet. The penthouse was huge, sure, and two stories, with several enormous bedrooms with private bathrooms and a sitting area on the second floor and big kitchen and way too big living room on the first, along with a personal spa, a private cinema, guest rooms, personal gym and more bathrooms. Nearly the whole apartment had floor to ceiling windows, making your slight vertigo a constant with how the looming, chaotic city below and endless sky above. And you, floating in the middle. Your only option was to go down all those levels and walk in the city. Could you even do that?

A knock on the door had you slowly emerging from your thoughts, sitting on the edge of your new bed in your new bedroom, the sheets unrumpled and made up exactly like a hotel. How long had it been since Steve left? Five minutes? Five hours? You turned around to see Bucky standing in the opening of the cracked open door, shoulders almost as broad as the doorway.

“I’ve prepared some food for you,” he said, leveling you a very evaluating stare you tried not to shrink under.

Food. You had no appetite, your stomach full of dark, messy feelings and a restless baby. But you always ate when Steve prepared your meals nowadays, so you should probably do it when Bucky did too. You gave a little nod, and the brunette didn’t wait around for you to walk together down to the first floor of the penthouse.

Down in the kitchen, the aroma of creamy sauce and garlic filled your nose, and you tried opting for a seat at the kitchen island before realizing you just couldn’t get up with your belly. Bucky was loading up plates by the stove, and turned in time to see you wobble on your feet as you tried hiking yourself on the high bar stool. Your cheeks were hot with mild embarrassment as you instead opted for the dining table right next to the kitchen, sighing in relief as you got the weight off your bloated feet. They were already starting to hurt like hell, and Steve hadn’t been gone even a day yet.

Bucky appeared a moment later and put a dish down next to you. Pasta with mushrooms of some kind, a cheesy cream sauce and small pieces of bacon. The aroma was mouth watering. Bucky took the seat across the table from you as you picked up the utensils and started eating. You could scarcely stop the moan escaping you as you took your first mouthful.

“This is delicious,” you said between the next bite and the one after, already shuffling the food into yourself in a rather unmannered way. It took you a while to realize Bucky had neither answered you, nor moved a muscle, his own steaming dish of pasta untouched before him. A ping of unease flared to life inside you.

You looked up to meet his gaze and nearly winced at how cold his eyes were, pinning you with a look that could only be described as scrutiny. Your muscles seized, a premonition blooming. That wasn’t the look you expected, and definitely one that you liked.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“W-what?” you answered after nearly choking on your food. You’d introduced yourself only a few days ago, had he forgotten? How did the room suddenly feel colder, Bucky’s cool, steel eyes raising goosebumps along your skin in a flair of nerves.

“Who do you work for?” he asked.

“I…I don’t have a job anymore, Steve, um… I quit,” you answered, confused, trying not to focus on how you’d gotten out of your last job at that local yarn and handicraft store in your hometown.

“There is no point in feigning innocence here, I’ll get your file any minute now,” he said, and that threw you for a loop before your unease doubled. Your breath was speeding up, getting choppy.

“You’re running background checks on m-me?” you asked. What the hell was he suspecting you of doing? You hadn’t meant to do anything wrong, couldn’t remember having done anything wrong.

Bucky didn’t answer your question, just sat there while his meal turned cold.

“If you have anything to confess, I suggest you do it now, before I get the intel,” he warned you instead.

Your heart was picking up speed, your stomach restless both from a sudden nausea and the kid squirming around. Steve had said Bucky was noble and trustworthy, but here he was being all threatening and cold, and you were locked into this apartment alone with him. The sudden feeling of danger made your head spin, and your mind wandered back to that night.

-sudden lights at the window, your body moving too slow under all its extra weight, your heart in your throat -

Bucky leaned forward in his chair somewhat.

“What are you planning on doing with the baby? What is your plan for Steve?”

Hot tears sprung from your eyes like a sudden faucet, and a violent sob burst from you.

-hot, sticky blood raining down on your face in patters, the mortified gurgling sound of a throat ripped apart -

Your chair toppled over as you jumped up, driven by a flash of adrenalin, and you groaned as your joints protested the sudden movement with pain.

“I…what…n-no, he was the one who..I tried to say no, I never wanted - I didn’t want -”

Your throat closed on another sob, your lungs burning and you just couldn’t draw enough breath into them, panic making you suddenly dizzy. Your thoughts were running too fast, a voice in your head yelling at you to not say anything bad about Steve, about how he got you to the mansion, about how he got you pregnant.

You swayed dangerously to one side, your feet numb and weak, and for a split second you registered Bucky’s expression turning from suspicious and hard to something more concerned, a crack in his confidence. He got to his feet and clasped a hand around your upper arm. On second thought you should’ve realized he was trying to keep you from falling flat on your face, but in the moment all you saw was the masked man who’d tried to pry you from the closet in the mansion and drag you away.

Your reflexes kicked in, and before you knew it, your hands met Bucky’s chest with all the strength you could muster. Bucky did not fly across the room like the masked man had flown down the stairs - Bucky merely stumbled a step back - but the pure shock on his face registered in your mind even through your panicked haze. The half-open mouth, wide eyes and pinprick pupils, the color that drained several shades from his otherwise tanned skin and rosy cheeks. You might as well have flung him to the moon.

Your mind cleared slightly from its dizziness as you realized the baby’s inherited strength had charged yours once again, but your breath was still too short, too fast, the oxygen rasping up and down your esophagus before it could even reach your lungs. You were going to die, your mind thought with a pathetic little whimper.

“Whoah, easy,” Bucky said, taking a step forward with his hands raised in surrender, worry alight on his features where suspicion had been only a minute ago. “Breathe, c’mon breathe,” he said, gently stepping up to where you stood frozen in place, doing all you could to keep conscious as your head started pounding from the pressure and lack of oxygen. You watched as he brought one hand up to cradle your elbow, and found yourself reaching out your own hand to cling to him, grabbing on to his arm with your nails first. It somehow helped, if only a fraction, the warm, real, corporal feeling of his flesh working as a lifeline to keep you rooted to the earth, to reality, to consciousness. Your feet moved on their own, staggering a step closer to grab his other arm with your hand.

Help me, please, help, you thought with desperation as your irregular breaths got fractionally deeper.

“That’s it, breathe for me,” Bucky said as he let you draw closer to him, your nails digging into his skin through the fabric of his shirt. He looked into your eyes, his own calmer now than before, gentler, staring into yours so hard it forced you to focus through your panic, noticing with increasing awareness the speckle of green in his irises, how the light caught the blue, how his pupils slowly expanded as your breaths got longer and more even.

“That’s right, good girl,” he murmured, when at last your breath evened out and you could pry your stiff fingers from where they were stabbing into his forearms.

God, you needed a hug. Your feet felt like jello, there was a stab of pain in the back of your neck. You were going to have such a gnarly headache. And you needed a hug, your nerves hanging on by a frail, frayed thread. You needed Steve, but he wasn’t here, so you needed a hug, and the burly figure in front of you seemed like he gave great, big, warm ones.

Leaning forward, you slumped against Bucky, your face smushing into his chest, not caring that he was a practical stranger and that he’d just accused you of being some secret, evil succubus spy. Bucky stiffened noticeably as you practically fell into him, but then his arms came up to wrap around you, steadying you with an air of politeness.

You’re sure the moment was exceedingly awkward, but you were suddenly so overwhelmed and tired and filled with grief you couldn’t even feel it. Bucky was warm, like a furnace, so incredibly warm.

You were halfway into exhausted slumber by the time Bucky gently pried you away from his chest, and you barely kept the disappointed mewl from slipping past your lips. You looked up into his eyes, and saw tension there, intense and concentrated, along with unmistakable curiosity, still a little tainted by suspicion. But he asked you no further questions, simply said “let’s get you upstairs so you can rest” and then tugged you gently along back to your room and into bed. You were slipping into unconsciousness when you felt the bed dip, the silk sheet being draped over you and a gentle squeeze to your shoulder.

You awoke to the gentle rap of knuckles on your door and the smell of chamomile tea. You were still in the same clothes, sheet draped over you, and you blinked bleary, exhausted eyes open to see Bucky standing in the doorway with a tray in his hands.

You sat up and smiled a little as he made his way over to the bed, though you weren’t quite brave enough to meet his eyes. He put the tray down beside you on the bed and lingered.The tray had a mug of tea and a salad that looked delicious, with a wide variety of greens and cheese, nuts and seeds and a dressing of some kind. It looked like the perfect textbook snack Steve would’ve prepared for you. He’d probably given Bucky list upon list of things to give you and make sure you did while he was away. Steve and his imperious ways. You couldn’t help smile at that, your heart aching for him, feeling that Steve wasn’t too far away for a tiny moment.

“How’re you feeling?” Bucky asked.

“Better,” you said, truly feeling better in that moment, and patted the bed for him to sit and join you. You needed to get along with Bucky if he was Steve’s best friend.

You dug into the food, feeling famished. You felt Bucky watching you, and forced yourself to not lock up. You could feel the questions hanging in the air between you, but if you just pretended everything was fine, maybe he’d forget about asking them. You didn’t know how much Steve would allow you to tell about…well, anything.

“Can I ask you something?” he said after a minute of silence as you ate and sipped from your tea.

Oh crap, here we go

You dared to look up at him, meeting his baby blue eyes for a second before giving him a tiny nod and continuing to eat.

“You said something before…downstairs, when I asked what your plan for the baby and Steve was,” he started. He was speaking softly, no accusation in his tone whatsoever, but your heartbeat still sped up in your chest.

Scrambling, you tried to remember what you’d said. That whole ordeal was a blur, you couldn’t remember much outside feeling you were going to die from lack of oxygen.

Trying to keep your breathing in check, you raised a shoulder, trying for relaxed and feeling much too stiff, hoping against hope that Bucky would just let it go.

“You said that Steve was the one who…something, and that you had tried to say no. That you didn’t want…something,” Bucky said, sitting unmoving on the edge of the bed. You didn’t dare meet his eyes, afraid he’d see something in them you didn’t mean to show. Afraid you would betray Steve in some way, a sickening pulse of guilt wracking through you. “What did you mean by that?” Bucky asked after several long, silent seconds.

You tried opening your mouth to speak only to choke on your own spit, swallowing painful before opening your mouth again.

“I didn’t mean anything. I don’t know what you’re talking about, I didn’t say - I didn’t mean anything with it,” you stammered out, and bloody hell, you didn’t even believe yourself in that moment, all sweaty hands, flaky eyes and trembling voice.

Please don’t ask me anything more about it, you’ll ruin everything

You knew without looking that Bucky didn’t believe you, he was way too quiet for that, unmoving, assessing you, scrutinizing your crumbling appearance.

Why can’t you just let it go?, you thought desperately.

The food you’d just consumed churned in your stomach.

“Are you sure?” you heard him say, and you stared down at your hands in your lap, giving him a tiny, unconvincing nod.

Just leave it, please.

Bucky got up from the bed, the mattress aligning itself without his weight, and stood by it for a moment. You kept your gaze lowered, forcefully holding your anxiety down in order to keep what suspicions you could at bay.

“I’m going out to the city for an errand. Would you like to join me?” he asked.

You couldn’t help how your face shot up in surprise, how your eyes widened as you processed his words.

“What?”

Bucky looked you dead in the eyes, still scrutinizing, but he shifted on his feet as though a bit uncertain of himself.

“Well, Steve told me you liked to walk around the garden of his estate, and he insisted I try and keep your daily routine as unchanged as possible. If you were used to walking a lot, this apartment isn’t really big enough for that, so I thought you could join me in the city to get your steps in. We could take a turn around central park if you’d like,” Bucky said.

Walking. In the city.

You shook your head a little. No, you couldn’t do that. Were you even allowed? You doubted Steve meant for Bucky to take you into the city when he said to keep your routine unchanged. Still, an aching flare of need burst to life in your chest. Going outside. You wanted to go outside, to feel the breeze on your face, smell the rose garden, to listen to the birds. You knew you wouldn’t find much of that in New York city though.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, the need to get outside the glass cage that was the apartment warring with your uncertainty of being with all those people in the streets below. Things had not gone well the last time you’d done that. All that time ago, before things had become so good between you and Steve. Before he’d made you see you weren’t cut out for being independent. That you would be so much happier with him. Under his protection.

“Oh come on, it won’t take long, we’ll go as slow as you need,” Bucky said, and though his tone was lighter now, his eyes didn’t relent in their careful assessment of you.

Would he become more suspicious if you refused? You feared it. What normal woman would suddenly refuse to go for a walk if that was what she was used to? Maybe Steve wouldn’t mind. Or maybe you just desperately wanted to be somewhere else but inside the apartment all the way up in the sky like this, perched and dizzy.

“Okay,” you finally conceded.

You tried for a smile as Bucky bid you to meet him by the private elevator on the first floor in fifteen minutes.

The tiny hope that Steve wanted you to take walks down on the NYC streets soon died as you went through your closet and realized there was no coat nor any real shoes in the wardrobe Steve had curated for you. Uncharacteristically driven to succeed at your prerogative though, you put on a double pair of socks and the flat strappy sandals from way in the back of the closet, dorned your thickest cardigan and made your wobbly way downstairs.

Bucky was waiting by the elevator, checking something on his phone. A phone. How long had it been since you’d seen a mobile phone? He put it away as you approached, smiling as he lifted his gaze to you. His smile quickly turned to a frown as he looked over your outfit.

“It’s way too cold out for that, I’ll get your coat, and you should probably put on some boots,” he said, moving to go past you. Your hand shot out and landed on his chest, halting him.

“N-no, I, uh, I haven’t got any,” you blurted. His warmth burned through the layers of his sweater, distracting as your palm absorbed the heat.

His eyes narrowed on you.

“You haven’t got a coat or shoes?” he asked, and you just knew you’d revealed the wrong thing. This looked so bad.

“No, I do,” you lied,” Steve must’ve just forgotten to pack them when we moved, it all just happened so quickly, you know,” you said, smiling a little up at him, hoping he would back off at the reference to that night. “Anyway, I prefer these sandals. Bloated feet and whatnot.”

Bucky leveled you with his narrowed stare for a few seconds longer, probably weighing your words with whatever he could read on your face.

“All right, but I’m getting you one of my jackets. It’s a chilly day and I don’t want to risk your health,” he said sternly and made a beeline for his own room.

You breathed a sigh of relief, belatedly realizing he could’ve cancelled the whole outing outright because of this. You were suddenly quite…happy he didn’t. You were excited to go out, you realized, eager almost. And nervous, so nervous the baby was getting increasingly restless within you, moving about in your belly as you waited for Bucky to return, staring at the elevator doors in front of you.

You almost didn’t hear Bucky return with the way your blood pumped in your ears, not until a leather jacket was gently draped over your shoulders, the smell of a spicy cologne and well worn leather wafting into your nose. Not unpleasant, you realized as you insinuated your arms into it and brought it around yourself.

“Sorry, this is the only thing I have that I think’ll fit around your…um, well everything,” Bucky said, hesitating as he gestured vaguely at your belly and you noticed the faintest of pink dusting his cheeks.

How thoughtful…

“Thanks,” you said, closing the zipper at the front of the jacket tightly over your belly. It was snug, but it did indeed fit. Your outfit couldn’t have been more uncoordinated if you tried, with your woolen socks and strappy sandals, an ankle length satin dress and big, black leather jacket. But you didn’t care. You were going outside.

Adrenaline started pumping in your system the second the elevator pinged and the doors opened, and you again fought to keep up appearances and you stiffly moved into the little steel chamber to be taken down to ground level.

It’s perfectly normal to go outside, it’s perfectly normal to leave the house, there’s nothing to be afraid of, you kept repeating to yourself silently, avoiding looking in the direction of your chaperone.

You did well, you thought as you stared at the display above the door counting down the floor numbers until it only displayed a capitol “L” for lobby. Ground floor. Here we go.

Only, when the elevator doors opened, and there were several people waiting to ride it up, just standing outside, minding their business, not even looking at you…you couldn’t move.

Something was wrong, this was all wrong, you shouldn’t be doing this, you knew you shouldn’t.

In your peripheral vision, you noticed Bucky watching you, waiting for you to move ahead of him, observing even more of those things you were certain Steve wouldn’t want you to show him. The baby kicked your ribs.

“Come on, little lady,” Bucky murmured, and a warm, gentle hand on your back carefully nudged you forward. Under the guise of being heavily pregnant (which you were), you slowly moved forward, out of the elevator, not brave enough to meet the eyes of the people waiting, but murmuring thanks to them as they moved out of the way for you and Bucky.

Your breathing was choppy, and Bucky moved you to the side as soon as you were out of the way of the elevators. There was so much noise in the lobby, people milling about, music from somewhere, some children somewhere screaming with laughter, and through the opening doors all the way on the other side of the vast voajer, the deafening roar of city traffic filtered in.

Steve’s voice was suddenly loud in your head. You can’t make it out there, you’re too weak, too frail, they’ll swallow you whole, the voice whispered with finality, growing in volume, warping into a static roar. The laughter of the children turned to screams, the crowds noise became a deafening tsunami of sound, the blaring horns from cars hurting your ears as you squeezed your eyes shut and -

“Hey,” Bucky’s voice cut through the noise like a knife, bringing you back to your body with a pair of strong, warm hands on your shoulders, like anchors on your mind. “You’re okay,” he said, bowing his head to capture your gaze with his own.

You stared into his eyes, realizing you were about to spiral into your second panic attack that day, and that he’d calmed you down for the second time as well.

“What’s going on?” he asked, voice low and comforting, not drawing any attention to the two of you from the other people in the lobby.

“I’m, -” you rasped, realizing you were on the verge of hyperventilating, “I’m too weak,” you whimpered.

“Too weak for what? You look pale, is it the baby? Do you need to sit down?” Bucky asked, looking you over while keeping you from wobbling.

No, it wasn’t the baby, it was never the baby. It was you, you were too weak.

“No, the baby is fine, the baby is strong. It’s me, I’m too weak to make it out there on my own,” you nearly whined, eyeing the doors to the outside warily.

“What do you mean? You’re not alone. I’m here with you. And besides, you are strong, I felt it earlier,” Bucky said. You could tell he was sort of confused as to why he needed to give you a pep talk just to leave the lobby, but here he was. He put a hand on your belly, and the warmth of his palm could be felt through the layers of clothing, even through the leather of his jacket. The touch grounded you even more, sharpening your focus. You looked into his deep, earnest blue eyes. “You’re protecting the little one, right? You are his or her momma bear, and he or she gives you the strength and courage to do it, right?”

You stilled at those words, felt them absorb into you, felt them settle neatly somewhere deep inside you.

That’s…right. That’s it. Your baby gave you strength, unnatural amounts of strength, and you needed to protect your baby. Only you could protect your baby, you could feel it, deep down in the marrow of your bones, a deep-rooted unwavering certainty that could only be some instinctual thing inherited from all the mothers that came before you. How had you not noticed that before? How did Bucky manage to find the words that somehow unlocked that knowledge? Or maybe it’d been there the whole time…

Like a fog, the panic and anxiety lifted slightly from your hazy mind, and you laughed. Suddenly, a bit shakily, and incredibly embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” you said, wiping at a few tears that escaped your eyes. You hadn’t even realized you were on the verge of tears.

Bucky smiled warmly.

“No need. I can’t imagine what all those hormones are putting you through, but if looks rough, I gotta tell you that. Now, how about we get on with the mission, if you’re still up for it?” he said, taking his hand off your belly and squeezing your shoulders reassuringly once before retreating them both from your form.

You nodded.

Your baby gives you strength, you protect your baby, you repeated in your head again and again as you followed Bucky to the doors. Though not a miracle cure, you found yourself steadily moving out the doors, into the streets, down the sidewalk, across to the next street and then on.

It was like watching yourself from outside your body. Here you were, just six weeks shy of your due date, walking the streets of New York city like a normal person. You kept expecting the world to explode, but it didn’t. You kept expecting the people meeting you on the street to brandish clubs or knives or needles to hurt you with, but they all pretty much ignored you.

Suddenly, Bucky had finished his errand and you found yourself waddling around Central Park with Bucky, breathing in the fresh air, listening intently for the bird song. You kept on the lookout for rose bushes to smell, but found the worm leather of your jacket made a surprisingly nice replacement. A child gave you a grin that lacked a front tooth and excitedly pointed at your belly before her mother pulled her away, scolding her for being rude. You couldn’t help waving at her and smiling as she was dragged away, looking back to find Bucky watching you, his eyes gentle, but guarded. He’d kept a close eye on you ever since leaving the apartment building, but strangely, you found yourself pushing the worries for what he might be thinking far away.

You hadn’t felt this calm in days. The breeze was gentle and cooling on the exposed skin of your face, your leg muscles thrummed pleasantly from how long you’d walked and the open sky above you made you feel like you could finally breathe properly again. You suspected Bucky might be part of why you felt so safe to just enjoy these sensations right now, but his words from earlier hadn’t stopped shining like a lighthouse in the back of your mind.

The baby gave you strength, and you would use that strength to protect your baby…and yourself. You had come to realize you’d already done that in the past. When that man had grabbed you from the closet in the mansion, you hadn’t freezed and cowered and yielded to whatever violence he’d dish out. You had defended yourself. You’d used the strength the baby gave you and protected you both. How had you not seen that as a reason for confidence before now?

Who knew how long those words could keep your anxiety at bay. For now, you made the most of this uncommon calm and said virtually nothing to Bucky for the rest of the walk before he took you back to the apartment complex.

The minute the elevator doors closed and locked behind you, and you reluctantly gave Bucky his leather jacket back, the threatening gloom of fear began to sink over you. You raised your chin, repeated your new found mantra to yourself and reflected on a new found experience you hadn’t believed possible. You had just been out almost all day in New York city, one of the busiest and most dangerous cities on the planet, and nothing had gone wrong. Fretful hope bloomed inside you. Maybe, just maybe things could work out for you. Maybe you didn’t have to be so scared shitless all the time. Hadn’t you lived and managed on your own before? In another life, all that time ago? Hadn’t that been you on your own for years before Steve entered your life?

You wobbled over to the couch, sighing deeply as you finally got your weight off your feet. Amazing as it was to feel the ache in your legs from muscles well spent walking, you could already feel all the aches in your body that Steve usually kept at bay with his massages, start to grow - beginning in your feet and lower back.

Steve…

Just the thought of him had you aching in an entirely different way. God, you missed his hands on your skin, how he fired up this all-consuming need in you, made you desperate for him. You were wound embarrassingly tight already, backed up in a way that was hard to ignore.

Before you could fall further into that line of thought, Bucky entered the living room. One look at him had your pleasant mood shifting.

“We need to talk,” he said.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #in the balance #steve rogers fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers x y/n #dark!steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers fanfic #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve rogers smut #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky x reader

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flowerandblood · 1 year ago

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I'm back

And I'm back with my oneshot with Michael Gavey. He fucking came back from the dead. Some can call it resurrection.

I needed these 24 hours just for myself to think about why I was writing at all and why I was doing it.

To talk about it with my husband who, as always, knowing me inside out, said that I didn't deserve to have my work and commitment here wasted by people who don't have the courage to write to me under their own nickname.

Just to be clear - it doesn't matter when or if any of you would read my oneshot. When, why or if you will do it is neither something to feel guilty nor proud of, like reading or not anything I wrote or will write.

I remind you that's my space, not yours. Anon asks stays off, because I know who you really are.

Cowards.

From now on, I will be much stricter about what other people "opinion" should and should not be.

I will block anyone, anons, writers or readers, who cannot watch their words - even if it's on your blogs, in your asks, comments, reblogs or statements - I don't want to see any ironic, hurtful bullshit on my wall anymore.

I will block them, but I will never nag them. I just don't need them in my life, in my space. Learn from me, anon haters. I hope me coming back is your stick in the ass and not in the pleasurable way.

I don't care if you think I'm a sweet and innocent author with no flaws - I'm not. I've never been. I don't care about maintaining this image either.

Yes, I can't stand anons who send me and other authors baseless criticism. They were and will remain my enemies. I will never be nice to them, because by hiding they lose the last of my respect.

However, I have never been and will never be unpleasant to people who ask me thoughtful questions with the respect that one person can and should expect from another. Usually it's not about the question itself, but about how it was asked.

Writing anonymously to others that you wish their pets to die, that it's good that they lost their child, or to me that I don't really love my husband and I'm cheating on him because I write fanfics is not the smartest idea.

You are just sad, jealous idiots.

Now.

A few of people here are trying to keep this sticky tape glued fandom from falling apart and I sincerely admire them: @ewanmitchellcrumbs @targaryenrealnessdarling @oneeyedvisenya @theoneeyedprince @valeskafics @black-dread

This fandom doesn't deserve you, but there you are.

+ I wanted to say 'thank you' to all of the writers who just reached me to say that they are sorry, to say that I have a right to write whatever I want. Do what I want without being judged.

Finally, I cannot help but mention the wave of anonymous and non-anonymous messages from my fans, to which I apologize for not responding. I've read them all.

Many of you came out of the shadows and wrote to me for the first time, showing me how much my stories mean to you. Thank you for all the memes, photos, drawings and words of comfort, very long and very short messages.

If it weren't for you, if it weren't for my husband who told me that I needed a break - not to destroy everything I created, I would have deleted this account a few days ago. He said that I should care more about my own mental comfort, which I intend to do.

I deleted my Discord account to withdraw from the fandom a bit and to put what happened behind me. I don't have good emotions right now that I could share with you in these groups, which you deserve. I don't want to be a ghost account there.

If you want to talk to me or explain something, you can reach me in private messages.

So. Karawana jedzie dalej, as we say in Poland. Those who want to be tagged, please let me know here or privately.

I don't know when I will publish my other works, but I will.

Welcome back.

#more info later #a couple words of summary below #michael gavey

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gryficowa · 3 months ago

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Boycott!

(It's from a certain SU meme, tia… Because apparently my aroace blog has become less queer by supporting Gaza… Good joke)

And yes, I know I made a separate post with this comment, but still, WTF are you on tumblr, a platform full of LGBT+ people…

Now that I have your attention:

So close...

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rebelwrites · 2 years ago

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Winner Takes It All || Nineteen: The Morning After

Charles Leclerc x Valentina Hendrix (OC)

Winner Takes It All Masterlist

Summary: Valentina faces her actions of the previous evening

Warnings: you might need your tissues again

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

Valentina’s POV

Waking up in an unfamiliar bed wasn’t something new to me but something that I hadn’t woken up to for what felt like an eternity was the smell of Charles. The smell alone caused my heart rate to increase, the smell felt like home and made me feel safe, it was something that always helped me forget my worries.

Jolting upright I roughly rubbed my eyes with my palms, trying to get my brain to wake up. Memories of last night flooded my mind and I wasn’t sure what to do. The bed was empty meaning Charles was already up so I couldn’t exactly sneak out the hotel room. Running my hands over my face I let out a long sigh, I didn’t mean to fall asleep in Charles arms but here I was debating on what my next move was.

I found myself fiddling with the yarn bracelet, squeezing my eyes closed, there was nothing I could do other than facing the music. It wasn’t like I could embarrass myself even more than I did last night so I didn’t have much more to lose.

Rolling out of bed I ran my fingers through my hair, mustering up the courage to face the music. As I reached the bedroom door the smell of fresh coffee wafted under my nose causing me to pull the door open.

Scanning the room I spotted Charles leaning against the kitchen counter with a mug in his hands, keeping his gaze on his phone propped up against the wall. I couldn’t quite hear what he was saying but his smile was as bright as the morning sun that was cascading over the apartment.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted my phone on the opposite side of the kitchen, keeping my head down I moved silently across the room not wanting to disturb Charles as I quickly realised he was on a video call, I just hoped I could stay out of the camera not wanting to cause people to ask questions.

I thought I was being sneaky but obviously not.

“Mon garçon, c'est mon petit ange avec toi ? My boy, is that my little angel with you?” Pascale beamed through the phone.

“Shit.” I mumbled, under my breath as Charles spun around smiling at me.

“How you feeling this morning?” He hummed, moving over to the coffee machine, pouring me a drink.

“Like death warmed up,” I sighed, running my hand through my hair. “Maybe the JD and flu meds weren’t the best thing to be mixing. But last night was the best night's sleep I’ve had recently so guess that’s a plus.”

Charles walked around the kitchen, standing in front of me before handing me the coffee, his fingers instantly brushed against my cheek as the smile grew that bit wider. “You have a bit more colour back in your cheeks.” he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “You spoke to Pierre yet? He was pretty worried about you last night.”

“I left my phone out here last night,” I hummed, taking a sip of the coffee. “I will text him soon, I need a ride back to my hotel anyway.”

A brief silence fell over the two of us, both forgetting he was on the phone until Pascale started coughing, gaining our attention.

“Have fun explaining this one.” I chuckled, tapping his chest before squeezing past him with my phone and coffee in hand. “Bonjour maman, au revoir maman. Hello Mum, goodbye Mum.” I hollered as I walked past the camera.

“Charles Marc Herve Perceval Leclerc, you better give me some answers now.” I heard Pascale shout down the phone as I flopped on the sofa, there was no way I was missing this.

I honestly thought this morning was going to be extremely awkward but it was like the hands of time had rolled back and I wasn’t sure if that scared me or excited me. Unlocking my phone I checked the message from the last 24 hours.

05.04 - Huds

Spoke to Pierre and he said you went over to Charles?

Hope everything went okay

06.24 - VH

Nailed half a bottle of JD before coming here

06:24 - Huds

YOU’RE STILL THERE!!!!!

06:25 - VH

It’s a long story

Gonna head to the paddock today

06:25 - Huds

You feeling better?

06:26 - VH

A bit

I think being out of the hotel will help more.

You gonna be there?

06:26 - Huds

Of course, sweetheart

We need to keep the press off us

Once you are ready we will tell the world

06:27 - VH

Sounds good

Thanks for being such an amazing person

Meet me at my hotel in a couple of hours?

06:27 - Huds

See you soon trouble!

Letting out a sigh of relief, I was glad he would still be showing his face with me at the track. It meant I wouldn’t get hounded on why he wasn’t with me. Swiping onto Pierre’s conversation I shot him a text asking him to pick me up from Charles hotel, the moment I saw the three little dots dancing at the bottom of the screen I locked my phone not wanting to get into everything with him over text.

Leaning back on the sofa I tossed my phone onto the cushion next to me, grasping the mug with both hands as Charles took a seat next to me. Automatically I rested my head on his shoulder.

“Where do we go from here?” Charles whispered, placing his hand on my leg.

“I don’t know Char.” I hummed, keeping my gaze trained on the brown liquid in the mug. I honestly didn’t know where to turn from here all I knew was I didn’t want to jump straight into anything right now.

“I meant what I said last night, you know.” Charles whispered, taking my hand in his. “I want us to start over again, I don’t care how long it takes, I will wait as long as you need.” He paused for a second before carrying on. “I hate myself for what I did to you, and I would walk through hell and back for you.”

Pulling away from him, I tucked my legs under my thighs, placing the mug on the coffee table. As much as I needed to listen to my heart I wouldn’t just jump into something causing myself to get burned again.

“We just need to take each day as it comes.” I whispered, taking his hand in mine. “There is a lot of trust that needs to be rebuilt, I need to protect my heart, it can't take you walking out on me again.”

“I swear on my life I would never be stupid enough to walk out on you again babygirl.” he said softly, pressing a tender kiss to my knuckles. “I paid the price for that once already and if you give me a second chance I sure as hell don’t plan on making that mistake again. We will take baby steps, I just need you back in my life.”

“Okay, Bear, baby steps.” I hummed, feeling my phone buzz against the sofa. Picking my phone up I saw Pierre had text saying he was outside. “That’s my ride, see you on the paddock, Huds will be there so please just play nice and follow our lead, we haven’t announced the break up yet.”

“I always play nice, babe.” he grinned, winking at me before pulling me into a tight hug. “Now go before Pierre comes up here, dragging you out by your hair.” he laughed, pressing a kiss against the top of my head.

Pulling away from the hug, I pushed myself to my feet, shooting a text to Pierre saying I would be down in a second before tucking it into my hoodie pocket. As I walked across the room I was just about to leave the room when Charles called out.

“Don’t forget your hat and sunglasses.” he laughed, pointing to the items on the small table by the door.

Shaking my head I put the garments on, securing them in place before pulling my hood up. “Later, Leclerc.” I hollered, flashing him the peace sign over my shoulder.

It was good to be back on the paddock, even though I wasn’t racing this place felt like home. Hudson had his arm wrapped around my shoulders as we walked through the paddock.

“You doing okay?” He asked softly.

“Feel more hungover than ill.” I groaned, leaning into him.

“I meant more after you nailed half a bottle of Jack.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess.” I hummed, looking up at him. “Think it’s gonna take a bit of time to get used to you know.”

“That’s understandable, sweetheart.”

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Pierre and Charles talking, every so often they glanced over to me. They were definitely not being subtle about it.

Flashing them both a smile Hudson and I carried on walking through the paddock making our way to the Alpha Tauri garage.

Watching the race from the garage was killing me, all I wanted to do was get out on the track but that wasn’t possible right now.

Before this weekend I had a decent advantage for the World Driver Champion but apparently Charles was taking full advantage that I wasn’t on the track because the boy was flying out there and I knew I wouldn’t hear the end of it as he made a start on closing the gap on the points.

Feeling Josh plant his hands down on my shoulders I tore my gaze away from screens I looked up at him.

“He is killing it out there.” I said with a proud smile on my face.

“Don’t worry kiddo, you will widen the gap next weekend in Japan.” Josh laughed.

“Yeah, Japan.” I sighed, it was the one track I was dreading racing on. The memories that the trake held were painful. “It’s gonna be a tough race for sure.”

“Jules will be watching down on you.” Josh whispered, pressing a kiss against the top of my head. “He is always watching down on you.”

He was right, next weekend's race would be an emotional one but with Uncle J watching down on me I knew I could get through the weekend.

But that was a hurdle further down the road, the main one I would have to accomplish would come in a couple of days when I fed myself to the wolves that was the world of social media.

I had no idea I had been zoned out for but I was rudely pulled from my thoughts when Charles was poking me in the side like an annoying toddler.

“How old are you again, Leclerc?” I laughed, rolling my eyes at the over excited Monégasque.

“Whatever.” He hummed, the smug smirk was present on his face. “Just know I’m taking WDC this year.”

“Yeah, yeah in your dreams.” I giggled, watching him walk off waving the trophy in the air.

“Can’t hear you over the trophy, Hendrix.”

@chibsytelford @dragon-of-winterfell @ohthemisssery @a-distantdreamer @sgkophie @stillbreathin @angywritesstuff @miamedyu @enchantedbytomandhenry @scribbuluswrites @dangerouspursepeachbear @micks-afterglow @livo67 @buendiabebeta @pleasedontfollowinlost @ferrarifwendvale @hungryhungarian @theplobnrgone @charlesleclercje @sunf1owerrq @queenslife @panicforspec @inesramoss30 @justme2042 @liv67 @sessgjarg @derpinathebrave @idkiwantchocolatee @littleobsessionsandlifeslessons @alynoa @clcspeonies @pleasantducktimetravel @formula1mount @inchidentwithmax @raaaaabzzz @teamspideyman @marvelousmendess @mehrmonga @sbgal @thattaylorswiftobsessedbitch @mloyer

#Charles Leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x oc #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc imagine #f1 #f1 x oc #f1 x you #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #formula one #formula one x oc #formula one x you #formula one x reader #formula one imagine

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thethinkingaurora · 1 year ago

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Sup, the name’s Aurora

I have no idea what I’m doing with this post so expect it to change

Chapter 1: Who’s this bitch

Hi I’m Aurora, welcome to my little corner over here, I’m many things but I’ll separate them out a bit

I’m autistic (self diagnosed, unable to get a proper one currently), I have ADHD (again self diagnosed, same reason), most likely mentally ill, (and according to my chosen family depressed and very burnt out)

I’m on the aroace spectrum and I’m trans (I’ll get to that in a second)

I am Girlflux(I have no idea how to phrase it), my pronouns are she/they

DMs are almost always open especially to mutuals(Friend! Hug!)

I’m a minor

And I think that’s everything for my core identity, right, onto some other things like my interests and projects (I think I’ll start with interests)

Chapter 2: And what does she like

D&D

Space

Puzzles/Ciphers

Writing

Mythology

Sailing is a fucking vibe and I love it so much

House

(More will probably be added)

Chapter 3:What does she do

Ok I’m not exactly sure how to structure this properly but here goes nothing

The Observance

The Observance is like a puzzle game/ARG (Alternate Reality Game) that I made

I spent maybe 60+ hours working on it, whether that be recording videos, travelling to set up irl caches, coding webpages, coming up with a story line, creating characters and twists for the story, thinking of puzzles/ciphers/riddles, creating maths questions, creating new encoding methods or finding uncommon ones, needless to say I put a lot of effort into it and I’m quite proud of it

It does need polishing, proper implementation (some puzzles could only be solved by my family because it used languages or reference that only they would get) and to be actually finished, like the beginning just looks like a game start screen which is not how ARGs are supposed to work (last I checked anyways)

I’ll probably release it when I’m finished and I’ll put a link here [|•|]

That’s The Observance anyways

I can’t actually think of any other projects that would make sense to put here, like there is my D&D campaign which I mean I’ll probably put here when I’ve run it, and that’s about it for what I’m working on currently

Chapter 4: Posts go brrrrrr

Neurodivergence and Queerness

Basic Tasks that you might not have been taught to do, it’s ok it’s not your fault

Ciphers are fun

Chapter 5: Sideblogs

I run several sideblogs, I won’t mention some of them because reasons

@notifying-the-dumbass (Gimmick Blog)

@thecraftingaurora (Crafting/Making Blog)

@thewritingaurora (Writing Blog)

Chapter 6: Bye bye

So yeah that it, if there is anything else I should put here(that is not sensitive personal information) please just yell at me (idk how, dm me, reblog it, mention me / @ me, send in an ask, I don’t really care how you do it)

Remember this post is likely to change and be updated

Bye then, I can’t wait to see you around

Safe travels

Last Updated GMT: 21:13, 18/06/24

#intro post #introduction

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starrysnowdrop · 2 years ago

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Welcome to my Newest Followers! 👋😁

As we not only recently had the Reddit exodus but another large exodus from Twitter yesterday, and I noticed so many new people who started following me, a bunch in just the last 24 hours, I figured I should make a welcome post!

First of all, I am Yume, and that’s also the name of my first WoL OC that I have written for (that character is on hiatus right now however), but my girl that has taken over my brain is my pink lala AST WoL OC Hali and her tall elf boyfriend who desperately needs a vacation! Your first stop on my blog should be my Pinned Post, as that’s where you will find links to the most important and relevant information on my character and my ship! That’s where you will find Hali’s character profile, along with my fanfiction Masterlist of everything I’ve written for Hali so far, and a ship timeline for Hali x Aymeric’s development from ARR through EW!!

I also reblog quite a bit from others, and if they are a mutual, I will use the tag #my mutuals. If it’s an aesthetic post or a post that inspires me in some way, I will use any of the following tags: #hali aesthetic, #hali inspiration, or #hali/aymeric inspiration. The other category of reblogs you’ll find here are of Hali’s man! My reblog tag for Aymeric is #stupid sexy elf man in case you want to go drool. You’re welcome.

Last but not least, never hesitate to talk to me! I promise I won’t bite! You can DM me here, send me an ask, as my asks are always open and anon is on, or you can find me over on Discord with the exact same name: starrysnowdrop!

That’s about it! Hope you enjoy Tumblr, and happy scrolling everyone! Welcome to the Hellsite (affectionate)!!!

#ooc #welcome to the Reddit refugees and the Twitter refugees!!

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firecrackerhh · 4 days ago

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1. “If they’re ALL trolls why are there so MANY of them?”

Irrelevant question…because Viv’s shows in general are really popular and a lot of people will say all kinds of wack shit to say to get attention and clicks, even if it’s outrageous? Yknow, I imagine it’s the same reason why you motherfuckers always have the most insane shit to say on anything vivziepop related. If she didn’t matter y’all wouldn’t keep talking shit now would you?

Bet that virtual celebrity bitch or whoever the fuck just wanted attention, or whoever they’re whining about.

2. “Harassing” I’m sorry, have you recently suffered an influx of people harassing you over this shit? Like directly in your inbox and DM’s and shit? If so, I certainly don’t condone that kind of behavior, I just don’t really consider talking about other people by itself harassment, especially considering I NEVER encourage people to harass anyone directly.

It wouldn’t do shit anyway, even if I wanted to be that cruel.

I say a lot of shit, but that’s all it is, bullshit. Talking about people by itself doesn’t really count if that’s all that’s going on. By that logic antis would be the serial harassers in any fandom.

Like I’ll admit I fucked up by not removing the username before but…man, cmon, only like, 3, 4 people ever like my posts…and I assume I don’t need to lecture them like fucking children that directly harassing people is fucked up to do? We’re supposed to fucking be adults here.

I think some of y’all really don’t understand that when you say shit ins public space, people are gonna say shit whether you like it or not. If anything it would’ve been more rude if I’d directly reblogged your post and insult you or whatever, but I didn’t do that now did I?

If you don’t like it when people talk shit (tho frankly as far as I’m concerned I’m just spitting facts) then stop spreading bullshit.

Or at the very least, stop acting like a bunch of equally as terminally online weirdos as you who clearly don’t remember what it was like to be a teenager are a representative of the entire fandom. Y’all act like we’re a hive mind or some shit, as if people like this have a right to believe such given every anti argument is just the same talking points repeated over and over. The projection.

Or perhaps you aren’t any better than us, if what you said holds any merit.

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

Bitch if you spent one hour in my head you would fucking disintegrate into dust, I’m literally high on edibles 24/7 and I still make more fucking coherent thoughts then you ever will in your entire life.

Like Jesus Christ, I’m not completely daft, I’m sure there’s some like, genuine hate for Octavia SOMEWHERE in this fandom, I’m not gonna pretend I’ve NEVER seen it on our side, but I also don’t think it’s a like, fan wide problem? I always see more people complaining about Octavia hate than really SEEING any myself, besides that virtual celebrity video and the examples you provided. Ok I saw like, one hazbin fan say something stupid about Octavia but it was before the last two episodes even came out so I didn’t treat it with much seriousness, I think they even apologized later for their negative statements. Sorry if you keep seeing dumbfucks on your TL but that sounds like a skill issue on your part. I don’t follow idiots, so I don’t see nearly as much idiocy as some others might.

Considering I imagine you regularly go through the critical tags I would think you would be rather used to seeing incredibly soup-brained bullshit on the daily by now anyway. Honestly you critical fucks always wanna bitch about how bad the fandom is but never take the time to consider that maybe the side you’re on isn’t any better.

Maybe we’re both fucking idiots and all of our bitching is fucking worthless, I’m just tired of idiots making mountains out of molehills all the damn time. Especially when it’s obvious that the people making said arguments against Octavia aren’t even worth the phone or computer they fucking type on.

I don’t like how many antis are so casually cruel towards Stolas but that wouldn’t be a problem for you would it? I don’t see you whining about that. Not like it really matters anyway, I just get sick of the obvious media illiteracy people like you clearly lack.

I don’t think you should be harassed or any of that shit, it wouldn’t do Jack, but if you say dumb shit, and people point out that it’s stupid, I don’t think you need to make this out to be bigger than it actually is.

Like honestly, my apologies for not hiding your username, I just didn’t think about it, that’s on me. But I appreciate you hid mine at least.

I’m a bitch, not a total asshole, I can be civil. Not like I ever intend to really say anything after this.

I just find it weird they liked the post before they blocked me, like yeah I’ve SEEN people respond to other blog posts before, but I’ve certainly never liked any of Squid’s posts, I just snap a screenshot, say my piece and I’m done with it. But whatever, they probably unliked it the second they got done typing out a response anyway.

🧨🔥~Firecracker out~🔥🧨

#tis i the werebitch

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drawing-prompt-s · 2 years ago

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Dec. 7th, 2022 Message

Your local Prompt Prophet isn't feeling the best tonight so it is just Prompt's queued up for the next 24 hours - which may extend into tomorrow as well, depending on how I feel by the early morning hours. Which is is usually when I Q up this blog for the following day. So do not forget to send in some prompts if you've been hiding them!!

Heads up, the rest of this is very long and i got kinda sappy thinking about having run this blog, and then thinking about all of you guys. <3

There is also an ask sitting in my inbox I need to get to regarding what art I do and do not reblog - if there is something you can do to ensure it. And the short answer is there is not. I do not always check older prompts, so I miss a lot of art at times. But mostly it just boils down to me being a single person running this blog. I cannot reblog every piece. On top of that, for those of you that do more than one of them! I see and love them, do not be discouraged if you do not see me reblog another, I just try to avoid reblogging more than one to give other artists a chance to shine as well!

I also just wanted to take a moment and say thank you to everyone who submits prompts, responds with art, reblogs others art, and generally just interacts with this blog. I cannot expression how much I adore and appreciate you all - i see a lot of the kind words you send or sometimes write back to me in tags or reblogs. They mean a lot. Occasionally it can feel that my responses are either thought of as fake enthusiasm, or unwelcome in some regards. But as I have said before, with well over 70,000 of you following this blog, I am bound to get some disagreement with how I run things here. Nevertheless, the sweet comments and asks that I see help in ensuring I know that not only are my responses getting across to the vast majority how I want them to (with genuine love and enthusiasm for the artists and the wonderful art they share with us), but in knowing that they are uplifting for others of you as well.

I know art can be challenging, and thankless at times - especially when you crave validation. I know artist block and life in general can halt the content that you want to create. The things you want to do. I know age and differing skill levels can make it hard to think you will ever reach where you want to be. But just remember that every piece you put out there, every practice sketch or warm up, is one more piece of art in the world that didn't previously exist. And I, and so many others, are cheering you on!

I am so glad that I have been able to be here on this blog with you all for the last few years (i honestly do not even know when I took over, compared to the prior admin, it has been a while at the least). And I have cherished every second of it.

So here is to the hope that we will have more years to come - and even if you feel you need to step away from art, just know if you ever want to come back, well, that is the fun thing about art, it never really leaves!

-- Prompt Prophet

#prompt prophet #promphet speaks #drawing-prompt-s #a message and some love for all of you too #update #and an update

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falcqns · 3 years ago

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𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭-𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: chris evans x gn!fiancee!reader

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you and chris make a big decision

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, mentions of little space and age regression (reader age regresses briefly, but fights against it), slight stimming (rocking), slight self abuse (reader hits themselves in the thigh). i tried to keep it as gender neutral as possible

✰ 𝐚/𝐧: this is just me expressing my feelings over whats happened in the last 24 hours of my life. i might take a break after posting this, i need some time to process whats happened. this also includes real life messages between me and my partner im sorry

to who ever reads this: don't bother asking for a part two, you won't get it. i am the owner of this fic, and this blog, and I, and only I, will decided what fic gets a part two and when. respect me and my wishes or get off my blog. thanks!

don't forget to read and reblog, and i do not give permission for my works to be posted anywhere other than tumblr. thank you.

it was the third night in a row of no Chris.

you understood that he was busy filming, but you found it a tad ridiculous that he had to go out for drinks after, especially when you were trying to plan a wedding.

you were especially ticked that he didn't even tell you. all you wanted was for Chris to be home, and seem like he actually cared, and wanted to get married.

you stayed up to midnight tonight, but you gave up, heading to bed for the night. your eyes locked on your engagement ring as you laid in bed, the house quiet, save for Dodgers snoring behind you.

you felt the tears prick your eyes, and you blink feverishly to get them to go away. you knew it was your ridiculous, but you were still feeling a little disappointed that he'd rather be out for drinks, then at home with you.

your eyes closed, and you drifted off to sleep, alone once again.

tears filled your eyes as you stared at your phone. you were tired of this. you felt that he didn't want to get married anymore. that he didn't love you, and was only staying with you to make you happy, and to keep his image up.

'do you still want to marry me?' you typed, dropping your phone onto the table, your head falling into your hands as you waited for a response.

this wasn't how you wanted to spend your lunch break, but here you were, in the break room, crying.

your phone pinged, and you picked it up, reading the text.

'it just doesn't feel like it anymore.' you responded, and quickly tried to wipe your tears as your coworker, Andrea, walked into the break room. the two of you had gone to high school together, but were never that close. you two grew closer when you began working together a few months ago, and she had trained you, and you trusted her with your life.

"y/n?" she asked, noticing your post - crying face. "are you okay?" she asked, and you shook your head, not even trying to hide it anymore.

"no." you said, and took a deep breath. "i think Chris and I are about to break up."

"what?" she asked, pulling up a chair, and sitting next to you. "what do you mean?"

you shrugged. "h-he's just been so distant." you choked out, and Andrea began rubbing your back. "he goes out with friends all the time, and it feels like he doesn't want to spend time with me anymore. it feels like he doesn't even love me." you explained, and Andrea sighed.

"he loves you so much. have you talked to him about this?" she asked, and you slid your phone over. she scrolled through the messages, and sighed.

as she did, another text came through.

"see?" Andrea said, peering over your shoulder as you texted him. "everythings going to be okay."

you still weren't convinced, and you were now dreading 5:30.

"have a good night," you said, your coworker and you walking out of the building together.

"you too!" she said, unlocking her car. "good luck, let me know what happens."

"i will," you called behind you, walking towards the white car that your fiance was driving. you opened the door, and got in, bottom lip trembling as Chris immediately engulfed you in a hug.

"i love you," he said, shakily. "i don't wanna lose you."

"i-" you gasped, letting your tears flow. "i don't wanna lose you either." you cried, and Chris hugged you tighter.

"lets find somewhere to talk, rather than the parking lot of your work." he said, and you nodded, wiping your tears. his large hand grabbed yours, and was brought to the gear shift, the two of you pulling out of the parking lot.

"do you actually want to marry me?" you asked, as the two of you looked out at the lake. you had driven down to the port, and were parked beside the beach.

"absolutely." he said, looking over at you. his finger played with your engagement ring. "i want nothing more than to be your husband."

"it just doesn't feel like it."

"i-" Chris stuttered. "i'm sorry."

''s okay."

Chris shook his head. "no. no it isn't. you're doubting yourself, and you're doubting my love for you. and i caused that." he said.

"it just felt that you're not as interested in the wedding planning, and i can't do it all by myself. we have less than 8 months to finish planning, and we aren't even a quarter done."

"i just," Chris sighed, clearing his throat. "i don't know shit about wedding planning, but you're absolutely right. you shouldn't have to do it. i should have helped."

you nodded. "i feel like you don't want to spend time with me. like even sleeping in the same bed at night as me is a chore. we don't cuddle, we don't kiss. the hug you gave me in the parking lot is the most intimacy i've had in weeks."

"i've been-"

"i know, you've been busy. it just hurts knowing you're filming a romantic comedy, and seemingly loving it, which i'm glad you are, but then for you to come home and barely pay any attention to me? it hurts like hell, and it makes me feel like you'd rather be with Ana than me."

"no," Chris said, shaking his head, and turning his body. "Ana doesn't even come close to how fucking beautiful you are to me. i love you, baby. not her."

you swallowed the lump in your throat, and looked at him tearfully. "really? how am i supposed to know? you don't even look at me anymore." you blinked away the tears, and Chris could see the hint of little space lingering behind your eyes. he watched as you slipped, but tried to fight it.

"bubba," he whispered, and you rocked in your seat slightly.

"d-" you tried to say, but your hand hit your thigh in a fist, and Chris grabbed your wrist.

"don't," he said, and you gulped, fighting to remain big. your big side won, and you burst into tears, the emotions you were feeling seeming 10x bigger after the brief regression.

"fuck," Chris said, trying to not sob, and wrapped his arms around you as you rocked in an attempt to self-soothe. Chris didn't stop it, and let you rock.

"i am so fucking sorry." he sobbed, not being able to hold back anymore. "i fucking broke you."

"jus' want you to love me," you cried, and Chris nodded.

"i do. i fucking love you so damn much." he said, and sighed as you began to calm down. "i need to fix this. i need to fix what i've done." he said, and you turned your head, crying into his shirt.

"jus' want it to stop!" you cried.

"honey, is the wedding a little too much for you right now?" he asked, and he sighed sadly when you nodded. "and me being distant wasn't helping, was it?" you shook your head.

"do you want to post pone it?" he asked, swallowing the lump. he didn't want that, but he needed you to be okay. "we can stop planning. we can take a break, we can have a court house marriage. i don't care. i need you to be okay." he said, and you nodded.

"wan' be all done," you whispered, still floating between head spaces.

"okay," he said, tearfully. "okay, we can be all done for now." he resigned, and rubbed your back. "i'm gonna call my therapist and see if we can get in for a session together tomorrow." he said. you nodded, beginning to finally calm.

"i love you. i need you to be okay." he said, and you nodded, your rocking slowing to a stop.

"we're gonna be okay." he whispered, kissing your head.

#chris evans x reader fluff #chris evans fluff #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #chris evans angst #chris evans drabble #chris evans headcanon #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fic #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #chris evans x fiancee!reader

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royalwriteroftheuniverse · 2 years ago

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Thanks Captain America part 2.....

(Chapter 1) Last chapter/ Next chapter (wanna be added to the tag list message me!)

18+ just incase Steve and Hayden are in this

Mentions of kidnapping angst cheating, angst breakup, angst did I mention angst. Being played. I think thats it

Commenta appreciated reblogs welcome. No reposting or publishing.

Just to recap Steve cheated on you. you found out at a fair you were crying and Hayden (as in Harvard Hottie) had found you crying and you twoo became a thing but Steve never got over you and then you go missing part 1 here

Hayden was worried when you didnt come back that night. The two of you were more than. "Just Friends" he even did a student exchange so he can go to school in the city and be with you. But what terrified him is when you weren't home in the morning he skipped his classes waiting for you to come back. He called your phone sent texts and nothing. The Cops didn't want to hear it. It wasn't 24 hours and maybe you just decided to leave on a trip. Hayden was rolling his eyes. He had tried to explain who your ex boyfriend was but they laughed it off with a "who isn't 'Captain America's' girlfriend."

The next day at dawn you still didn't come home. He was going to go to the tower then and there but he didn't think he'd get far.

He did text his father and call his fathers lawfirm saying his new girlfriend went missing she used to date Caltain America, cops won't take him seriously. But Steve was having trouble letting go. Hayden was truly scared Steve did do something. If he did you'd never be found and he'd get away with murder or worse turning you into some badebment wife kidnapping you never letting you leave. He wouldn't put it past Steve not with how persistent he's been. You never read Steve's messages but Hayden would when he couldn't sleep. Which only made him angry but he needed to know what that so called man was thinking and none of it would have pointed to this.

That night he went to the women's defense class. Hayden had told the woman at check in thst he needed to speak to the instructors his girlfriend came here Tuesday but never came home. Hayden was pale with dark circles and the woman believed him so they were promptly called over. Hayden would've been intimidated if he wasn't so scared for you. He explained or rather rambled that your ex was giving your troubles and he knew this wouldn't be a good idea because he was bound to find you and then Tuesday you never returned home. When he said your name they looked at eachother.

That explains a lot

What?

She told us her ex was bothering her so we asked Steve to come in to help us help her and she just ran out of here.

They called Steve down.

"Whats up?"

He was receiving glances from both Nat and Hill which he didn't quite understand but shrugged it off and his head was tilted a bit with his hands on his hips. Then Nat said

"It's about your ex, the one that was here Tuesday. Shes missing."

Steve's face straightened and his eyes widened while he took a breath almost a gasp in through his closed mouth and went slightly pale."

"When?"

"We just said, Tuesday and as far as we know you were the last person to see her. Your phone."

"What? Why?"

"I won't ask twice Steve." Nat basically commanded

He handed it over knowing what was going to happen next. Nat and Hill noticed Steve's change and it wasn't his typical some one is missing lets go.

"Jesus Christ Steve."

"She said she was taking this class because she was afraid of her ex but...." Hill said looking at the screen as Natasha scrolled.

"Look she was mad at me and she didn't take me seriously a while back whenI said there was a threat but when I left her she was fine."

"So she was walking away?"

"No. Ok look she was crying. She was sitting on the ground crying but she didn't want me around. She didn't believe me about the threat but I-I told her I still had people shadow."

"Steve we stopped that over a month ago why-"

"Because I wanted her to believe me she, she didn't believe a word I said nothing."

"Thats what happens when you say you can't be seen publicly with her and than flaunt another your other girlfriend around at a fair you knew she was going to."

"It wasnt supposed to be like that I- I didn't plan on going the other girl, Rachel had dragged me there saying she just wanted to buy one thing and leave and I insisted on stay-"

"I don't give-"

"I'm not done." Steve practically bellowed at Hayden

"Rachel said she needed help with carying it and next thing I know she's showing me off like a prized dog with two rings on her finger and-"

"And then she saw you ran off crying that hoe I heard her you know, she was crying over you. Rhsts how we met.. You know she never tells anyone who her ex was who hurt her so bad. All she says is her ex."

"I broke up with the - Rachel because of what she did. She showed me off and"

"And MY girl respected your wishes." Hayden spat.

Hearing the words "my girl" from Hayden pissed Steve off. She was HIS girl first. But he knew he had no reason to be pissed it was his fault. And you we now with Hayden.

"You're right. It was my fault I took her for granted I- I met them both around the same time I mean no on talked about being exclusive - but I didn't say at Rachel's place ever I only stayed at....I liked Y/N better I did I just I dont know but I still have everything even the plastic bag that she put all my stuff in. You know I really hoped she kept something but she didn't not even one photo. Steve looked down he was ashamed. He was never like that-he never dated two girls at one and now he lost them both. Not that he cared so much about Rachel that bitch showed him off when she could something he didn't realize until after they broke up but. You, you he kept treasured like a sort of secret mission he kept under lock and key in a safe. A heirloom necklace close to his heart. A dellicate china doll that could break at any time

And if he didn't so that maybe his time wouldn't be divided figuring out who the threat was for, or maybe he w-then it dawned on him. You'd still be with Steve. The others didn't know what came to his mind but his face got even paler as his features stiffened and his jaw ticked.

"Steve what you thinking."

"We need to check the streets for any cameras, reopen the file on the who the threat was from and see if we can chase it down. I want her back."

"She's gone because of you."

"I'm hoping it was a mugging gone bad and she in the hospital otherwise I don't want to think about it."

One thing that ran through Steve's head was Rachel. She wasn't exactly ok with the break up but Steve knew you would've been able to take Rachel in three seconds. There would be no way Rachel knew about you. Steve made sure to keep you two seperate.

Only once a week he'd saw Rachel and the rest he saw you and- and right then he wondered why he even did that. He was with you he slept at your place had clothes a toothbrush his bodywash... no wonder you were so devastated. You thought he was yours. He should've been. He was. He was to dumb to realize. Why the hell was Rachel ever in the picture.

Steve stayed up the whole night there were no videos on the corner where they were. Or even close. Steve hit the table so hard he left a dent.

He went back over the threats the picture the words and he realized it was mostly you. The threats seemed focused on you. He didn't see it before the wording but it made more sense. You were taller than Rachel and the letters reference a hight closeness. Steve realized that originally but there were other

The hair Steve took golden as blonde like Rachel's but golden in the sun. He had looked at thr pictures in his phones his personal and the one he used on missions. your hair was golden in the sun.

There was a comment about music it was thought that maybe it had to do with a location one was at but you sang. And you did a recital near to when they got the note. Just because you hated Steve didn't mean that he wasn't keeping tabs plus he loved your singing he wouldn't have missed the recital even if half the world was in chaos he'd be here with you. He had sent you some roses anonymously. And you had looked so beautiful on stage. He was so proud of you.

You had talked about it for the longest time it would take you 2 semesters to prepare for it. His mind wandered to when you'd reherse and he watch you stop every time you thought your voice faltered a little. He couldn't count the number of time he had told you it was perfect he didn't hear a thing wrong. Languages you didnt know and classical music you didnt like but you lookednso ethereal to him-classical one note said nomething about it being a classic time. Was someone there?

But it was advertised. Around campus and sometimes off. Even Steve had .... he had left a few around the tower thinking just because he didn't want anyone to know you were dating he still wanted to show you off- he was proud of you and that didn't mean people shouldn't get a chance to hear your mqnagnetic voice. That's exactly what Steve was thinking your magnetic voice.

Something about trees and leaves that everyone thought had something to do with Rachel's short stature vs Steve's tall stature and something Steve didn't get but now he realized it was you and Steve had gone to a remote section of a now defunct hiking trail that Steve only knew of from the 40s and would have picnics there under a tree. You'd be so happy to just be able to be outside with Steve he had taken you every chance he got. And you had mentioned one time how you loved the leaves crunching under your feet.

It was you these threats were always about you. They knew about Rachel they had to and didn't care. Then the freaking kidnappers knew Steve cared more for you than Rachel. How big of an idiot was he?

Steve hadn't slept for three days going over everything th threats, the reports of all the shadow agents speaking to them again. But when you were taken it was after they stopped. That was smart Steve was lulled into security and thats when they took you.

Shortly after your anger for Steve subsided you realized your thoughts were more than just from anger... it was the truth...you really never were leaving here. you had just cried. And cried and cried.. Realizing what you said was true you weren't really getting out of there. You had cried and cried. Migraine after migraine pills and tissues were pushed under the door with a note for your migraine. Day after day. You had stopped eating for the most part but you didn't notice.

P.o.v. change

I should've been nicer to Steve maybe. He would come for me. But no one would know. Hayden wouldn't know. Probably think I ghosted him. I paid rent ahead of time. No one would know for months. But if I just forgave Steve I wouldn't be here. Wherever here is. No sun, no clock no nothing. They just seem to turn the lights down and up at what I assume must be day and night.. Steve. I shouldn't even left Steve. Because he'd know I was gone and he would've looked. But he cheated on me. He couldn't even admit it. I dont know what was worse thinking should stay with a cheater to be safe or accepting all the actions and die here. It doesn't matter in the end. Itll be the later no matter what I do. Hopefully otherwise I don't want to know.

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mithrilhearts · 3 years ago

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PLOT BUNNY #5 ↳ FUCK THY NEIGHBOR

Summary: Bilbo and Thorin have a past, one that spans no longer than one wild evening which resulted in far too many drinks, a 24 hour chapel, and not knowing the other’s last name. They both thought they could simply ‘deal with it later’. When ‘later’ finally arrives, they must learn how to co-exist now as neighbors, but also as accidental newly weds.

If you want to see this fic in the future, be sure to like, reblog, and/or comment! Feedback is welcome, and I can’t wait to see what fic wins the raz2k! Check out the MASTERPOST to see the other plot bunnies!

Bilbo was honored to be helping Drogo and Primula out with their wedding. Supplying a quiet yard for a small ceremony of family and a few friends was perfect, and the Baggins family house was definitely a sight unlike any other. The gorgeous craftsmanship had only grown more charming as the years passed by. Bungo had spared no expense when it came to getting the dream house that Belladonna had wanted and more. Now it was passed along to Bilbo and was the hot spot for any family gathering.

“It will be perfect! Thank you so much again, Bilbo,” Drogo was genuine as he swung his fiance’s hand in his own, wandering around the backyard and envisioning just where everything could go. Prim had an idea of what she wanted, but it was nice to play a part in the planning process.

“Of course, anything for you guys. And if you need help with actually getting things set up the day of, you know I’ll be here for whatever you need.”

Prim darted forward to smash a kiss to the side of Bilbo’s face, squishing him tightly in the process. “You’re the best!” She squeaked before wiping at Bilbo’s cheek to try and remove the remnants of her chapstick away.

“Yeah, yeah, just remember that when it’s time to start naming kids, yeah?” Bilbo teased as he put up with Prim’s antics easily, and had for a long time now. This wasn’t exactly a new sort of friendship in Bilbo’s life. Prim had been a staple in the life of the Baggins’ since they were all relatively small, after all.

“There’s only a few weeks left until the big day—“ The loud sound of a moving truck pulling into the driveway next door was enough to cut Drogo off. All attention turned to the formerly vacant house that had sat that way for a few months now. “Someone finally buy the old Cottonwood house?”

“Apparently,” Bilbo shrugged, knowing next to nothing about the purchase. All he knew was that it had been noisy the past few days, but he’d never investigated anything beyond that. “This at least means the lawn can be taken care of. It makes the street look bad otherwise.”

“You would care about the lawn maintenance of others,” Prim teased, giving Bilbo’s side a small tweak. “Just look at that vegetable garden of yours!”

It was one of Bilbo’s favorite pastimes. Gardening and ensuring the yard looked immaculate. That was a great reason why this yard was suitable for the ceremony in a few weeks’ time.

“Are you going to introduce yourself, Bilbo? Could do the neighborly thing and take one of your blueberry pies, even!”

Prim had always been excitable, and as Bilbo chuckled, he was waving the two slightly younger lovebirds inside. “We’ll see.”

“If you made one for the wedding too, I wouldn’t complain. You did say anything for us, right?”

“I’m going to regret saying that, aren’t I?” Bilbo sighed with a roll of his eyes as everyone shuffled their way inside and into Bilbo’s kitchen for a proper cup of tea. It was that time of day, after all.

The noise throughout teatime from outside was incomparable to the days prior, and Bilbo found himself growing increasingly annoyed. Sounds of stomping against the metal ramp leading from the ground to the moving truck, and then of course some music was blasting from the neighbor’s garage. It made for a less than satisfactory cup of tea.

Grinding his teeth while seated on the sofa, Drogo seated next to him and scrolling through his phone, Bilbo finally let out a heavy sigh before Prim began to giggle by the window.

“Oh, he’s cute.”

“Aren’t you getting married in a few weeks?” Bilbo grouched, leaning back to spot Prim with puffed out cheeks of annoyance in his direction before a childish tongue flew out in his direction.

“I don’t mean for me, I mean for you.”

This made Bilbo pause mid-sip of his tea, fixing Prim with yet another look before slowly moving to his feet, teacup in hand. “I’m not interested in the dating game, not to mention, you can’t just assume my new neighbor swings that way just because you’ve peeked at him for ten minutes through my windows.”

“I have a feeling,” Prim sniffed proudly as she waved Bilbo over to peek through the blinds just as she was. “Just take a look at him!”

And much to Bilbo’s dismay, he did exactly as the excitable young woman wanted, sipping at his teacup and dropping his head to peek through the blinds with squinted eyes. Though as he got a look around the stacked up boxes and pieces of furniture, the teacup he had been holding slipped from his grasp and his throat felt as if it immediately closed up.

It was a feeling akin to an upset stomach and a migraine, which was a dreadful combination. Bilbo didn’t even have a fit as his favorite teacup dropped to the floor with a crash, leaving little porcelain shards flying around the wood floors like confetti–but it had startled his guests.

“Bilbo? What’s wrong?” Drogo asked from the sofa, immediately turning to try and see what the commotion was all about. It wasn’t like Bilbo to be so careless after all.

“This is the part where I would tease you about how he took your breath away to an extreme level…but you look like you’re about to hurl,” Prim spoke far more gingerly than she had been before as her hand was rubbing circles against Bilbo’s back. “Come on, take a seat, tell us what the problem is.”

“I know him!” Bilbo finally shrieked, not quite proud of the sound that came out of his throat as his hands flew up towards his head, a panic settling into the pit of his stomach. “He’s…he can’t be…that’s…” Bilbo felt as if he were shoved underwater, his head swimming and trying to keep up with nothing more than a few vague memories flashing behind his eyelids.

Memories from Drogo’s bachelor party a few weeks ago. Bright lights, far too many drinks, a cheap ring that turned his finger green almost immediately, and a consequence that Bilbo had yet to truly take care of.

The shattered teacup was cleaned up, as well as the contents formerly within, and Bilbo was quickly laid across the sofa with a cold cloth draped over his forehead. Perhaps it was a bit dramatic, but this was one of those one-in-a-million chances that were currently kicking him in the teeth right about now.

“Care to let us in on the secret now?” Drogo pushed as he and Prim were staring with both concern as well as confusion, trying to figure out what could send respectable and relatively calm Bilbo Baggins to such a state.

“Do you remember…anything about your bachelor party from a few weeks ago?”

“I remember I had fun, most of it is a blur though.”

“Well, Hamfast and I spent a good chunk of the night watching people, and he kept teasing me about not being social enough, that I wouldn’t be able to find anyone in the room that caught my eye. He said I was single and sad and I took off,” Bilbo wheezed, his voice sounding more strained than he liked as he pried the cloth away from one of his eyes. “You were three sheets to the wind by then I’m sure, or you would have defended me.”

“And?” it was Prim’s turn to press for further information. “What does this have to do with your new neighbor?”

Bilbo sighed heavily with all of the weight of the world on his shoulders in the process, as that’s what it truly felt like.

“That guy next door? That’s my husband.”

==========

A few weeks prior…

“It’s Vegas! A whole weekend of bad choices and things you won’t remember. You gotta have some fun, ya know? Just take a look around, we’ve been to three bars already and not a single person has caught your eye,” Hamfast teased, slapping a hand against Bilbo’s shoulder as they sat at one end of their party’s table, the other half trying to keep Drogo sitting upright.

“Someone has to be the responsible one,” Bilbo huffed, still a tad prickly even with his mind buzzed from a few drinks already. This was about having fun though, it had been said to him time and time again, and the more Hamfast pressed him on his social skills, the more agitated Bilbo became. “Besides, I’m not looking for anyone. I’m perfectly happy the way I am.”

“So, single and sad, got it. You need to step outside of your comfort zone sometime, Bilbo! Socialize, go say hi to someone, stop being so afraid.”

“I’m not afraid.”

The words made Bilbo’s cheeks puff out in annoyance, just as they turned a tad rosy in embarrassment. Hamfast was a great friend, but he certainly had no issue in calling things out for what they were. Bilbo pushed himself to his feet and grabbed his empty glass in the process.

“Where are you going?”

“To get something else, dealing with you makes my head spin more than these drinks, so I gotta fix that,” Bilbo grouched as he moved through the crowd to give himself a bit of alone time at the bar in a place where being ‘alone’ was a rare treat.

It was a small establishment, bright lights from nearly every corner and just a dash of dry ice lingering about for added atmosphere, and Bilbo hardly paid attention as he moved up towards the bar. Perching on his seat and shouting over the music and other patrons, Bilbo was presented with a drink that was stronger than his taste buds typically liked, but beggars couldn’t be choosers, could they? Besides, it did have a few extra olives sticking out of it, and any drink presented with edible garnish was good in his books.

A snack and a drink.

Plucking the toothpick out of his overly dirty martini and biting off one olive, those hazel eyes just glanced around after twisting in his seat, finally taking in the crowd instead of remaining in his own secluded little bubble. Why was Hamfast teasing him so much? Would it be shitty to go back to the hotel room already? Calling Prim would not be a wise idea to voice his complaints, but it was an option–

“Long day?” The bartender asked upon the approach of another patron.

“Yeah, fucking terrible. Make mine a double, and a shot of Jameson while you’re at it.”

The voice next to him cut through Bilbo’s garbled and fuzzy train of thought, and as he looked towards the fellow next to him who had his attention on the bartender, the second olive that Bilbo had gone to swallow definitely went down the wrong pipe.

Long dark curls were pulled back into the messiest bun revealing a strong jaw coated in dark facial hair, an attractive pointed nose…and then there were those eyes. So strikingly blue that practically glowed as the neon lights within the bar seemed to change now and again. It was offensive, but not in the lethal sort of way like a near-deadly olive.

After a few coughs and tears pricking at the corners of Bilbo’s eyes, a heavy pat landed on his back, and for a moment he thought it was Hamfast, but the voice that spoke didn’t match his friend, but that of the dark-haired beauty that had sauntered up next to him–though sauntered would be a bit of a stretch. Stomped was more like it considering the ‘fuck you’ attitude this guy radiated.

“You alright, man?”

“I’m…yes,” Bilbo wheezed, rubbing at his eyes to get rid of the tears and trying to get a grip on his mind as it swirled. “Thanks.”

“Richard makes one hell of a martini, you’re not the first to choke on it. Does it on purpose I think, he’s a dick.”

“Is…is that a joke? A dick joke?” And for a second, Bilbo wished he could swallow the words back and not have said anything at all, but the response he got was…less attitude.

And oh, the way he smiled, half-hearted as it was. “I suppose it is, yeah.”

Awkward as he felt, Bilbo kept shifting his eyes to the side to glance at his handsome stranger–yes, his–and was fully taking in everything he was seeing. It took only a few seconds for a lightbulb to flash on in his head, the choice of attire this fellow wore just screamed construction of some sort. No wonder he was visibly tired and a tad grouchy.

The bright orange and yellow vest, and never mind the fact that it was open and revealing, all Bilbo was zeroing in on was the idea that this man knew his construction business. That meant landscaping, and that meant gardens, which opened a door for Bilbo to crash through as far as conversation went.

Hamfast was going to get an earful about Bilbo’s social skills later on!

“You must work a lot!” Bilbo finally piped up, tapping his fingers anxiously on the bar and averting his gaze slightly from his barstool neighbor. “It’s got to be a lot of hard work, physically exhausting…hot…and underappreciated.”

“Tell me about it. It’s not my first choice or my second…but it helps pay the bills.” The other fellow sighed, grumbling something about the ‘ridiculous costumes’ his job entailed, but the words seemed to breeze right past Bilbo’s ears without any thought.

“Well, you have my respect. I know it’s a lot, and I’m sure you deal with a lot of shitty people too.”

There was a pause in words before a hand was stuck out towards Bilbo. “Thorin.”

Taking the offered hand, Bilbo gave it a small shake, feeling Thorin’s firm grip against his hand as little sparks danced across his skin. “Bilbo, it’s nice to meet you, Thorin. Can I buy your next drink? Looks like you need it, and just…consider that my appreciation for what you do.”

“You’re not the first person to try this tonight. I get enough of it at work and I’m not in the mood–”

“I’m not…oh! I’m not trying to be forward with you! Just appreciative, I also wanted to…I don’t know, prove to someone that I can hold a conversation, but I guess I can’t even do that much.” Or perhaps Hamfast would win the bragging rights for the night. Handsome as this Thorin was and wandering as Bilbo’s thoughts might have been, his intentions were completely innocent.

For now.

“Alright, alright. One drink.”

“One drink and I get to ask you about landscaping.”

And while Thorin’s brows knit together in confusion at the words, he simply shrugged his shoulders and played along, ready for a one-drink-worthy conversation (after his already acquired one) about grass or whatever it was this odd little fellow wanted to talk about.

If only it had stayed to one drink and a talk about plants.

#raz2k #bagginshield #thilbo #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #the hobbit #hobbit fic #hobbit fanfic #bagginshield fic #modern!au #razzy writes #fic: sneak peek #lol this one is sunny's fault #accidental marriage and neighbor au and this is what happens

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tarithenurse · 2 years ago

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Bookish - 1

Fandom: MCU AU Pairing: Loki x fem!reader Content: For series – pining, sugardaddy-arrangement, awkwardness, socioeconomic differences, eventually smut. For this chapter – a hint of awkwardness. A/N: I should be working on other WiPs. Or I should be sleeping my migraine awake but I’ve already slept for 24 hours so I can’t anymore. Logically you get this instead. Let me know what you think, if I should continue it. Ask or reblog for tag.

You had only arched a brow the first time he stepped into your little shop because he was a new (potential) customer. And handsome; tall and lithe with discreetly expensive clothes (a suit and vest, of all things) and long, dark hair swept back.

You were used to collectors stopping by now and then and he had seemed pleased to find a completed works of Don Quixote from 1715. It wasn’t in the greatest shape, but he seemed to derive satisfaction from the fact that it was an unofficial hundred year anniversary edition.

The next time he stopped by, you arched your brow because he didn’t seem to be looking for something in particular, merely browsing. He introduced himself as Loki Laufeyson and you knew you were supposed to recognize the name from Forbes or some other glossy magazine but frankly you were so bad at those sort of things so you decided not to let his economical status colour your behaviour towards him.

Then during the few months after that, he started becoming more forward and over time asking you random questions. Were you the owner of the antiquary bookshop? How long had you worked there? What did you do outside of that job? All sorts of questions that should have made you feel on edge, but for some reason you trusted the raven-haired man, thinking that no harm would come from admitting the truth...among other things that you were forced to have to find new work soon because the owner of the shop wanted to retire – as much as you wanted to, you had no means of buying the little business from him, let alone actually know how to run it.

You came to like the days when he stopped by more than any other days, going so far as to hope for him to make an appearance even before heading into a shift. Loki’s company was pleasant and easy, making you feel like you could be yourself around him and he too seemed to relax as he perused the old books or asked for advice on where to find special editions now that the shop would be closing.

Another month went by and it is the last day the shop is open. You are sitting by the counter with your phone out, frantically scouring the internet for jobs. Have you been too picky? Everywhere seemed to require several more years of experience than what was necessary (or possible) and you have had a hard time convincing yourself to apply even though you know that is the only way to handle those requirements.

You barely register the bell by the door.

“Quiet day?” Loki’s smooth voice interrupts your scrolling.

You put your phone away hurriedly. “Sorry. Yes.”

“No need to apologize, my dear.”

The pet name stirs something and you feel your cheeks heating up. He rummages around the shelves, knowing full well that nothing new has come in since last time because why would it when the shop is closing. He even knows that today is the last day.

“I was...” he hesitates as he comes back into full view from around the corner of a bookcase, “I was wondering if you could help me with something.”

“I will do my best,” you promise with a smile.

He frowns endearingly. “Well, be careful what you promise before you know what it’s about...it’s an...unconventional request.”

Something about the way he says it makes you hesitate although you can’t deny that your curiosity is piqued. “What?” you ask slowly.

Loki averts his gaze, something he’s never done before, and there’s even a slight blush powdering his pale cheeks. “Perhaps...if I may invite you out for a cup of coffee then I can explain it to you?”

“Coffee?”

“Or lunch! It’s entirely your choice!”

I shouldn’t. “Lunch. Tomorrow at one o’clock?”

“Yes,” he smiles with relief, “I know just the place but let’s meet here and we can walk...I hope that would be agreeable?”

Very. Despite the crazy endeavour you’re embarking on, a part of you is proud that you kept in mind to arrange everything to be public places. I can hear him out and if I can’t accept whatever it is, then that’s that.

Only his last comment before he leaves has you worried: “Oh and...you might want to wear a dress...not jeans at least.”

#Loki x reader #Loki x you #x fem!reader #Loki mcu #Loki Sugardaddy #Loki AU #Bookish fanfiction series #MCU fandom #MCU #Marvel Cinematic universe #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #wip

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rebelwrites · 2 years ago

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Under The Stars

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Maybe Summer Doesn’t Have To End

Summary: You and Charles spend the evening on his yacht. Life seems to be looking up for you and Charles realises something huge

Warnings: mentions of a past controlling relationship

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

A year ago if someone had told you that you would be chilling on a yacht in Monaco with Charles Leclerc you would have laughed in their face. Stuff like that didn’t happen to you, you always had shit luck. Noah the asshole was the prime example of that.

It felt like you were currently living someone else's life, leaning back on the sofa you watched as Charles reappeared from inside the yacht.

“Put this on,” he smiled, kneeling on the edge of the large sofa.

“I didn’t say I was cold?” you questioned taking the garment off him, smiling when you realised it was one of his hoodies.

“You didn’t need to, I kept feeling you shiver and I wasn’t having it.” his voice was soft as he spoke, watching as you tugged his hoodie over your vest top. His heart was working overdrive right now seeing you in his clothes for the second time in the last 24 hours. He took a deep breath as he snuggled beside you, pulling you in between his legs again. He was trying to find the right words to approach the next topic, he didn’t want to upset you in any way but he needed to know. “So you said you were married, what happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”

You knew this would have been brought up again, taking a deep breath you started playing with his fingers, once again finding a new grounding technique.

“I was, I started dating this guy when I was 20.” you said softly, keeping your eyes focused on his hands. “Everything was perfect and I thought I had found the one. I was a naive 20 year old. We were together for a year before we got married.”

Charles stayed silent as you spoke, he found himself playing with your hair hanging off your every word. He didn’t interrupt as he could sense how hard this was for you.

“Everything was perfect until we hit the 3 years married mark.” you said letting out a shaky breath, squeezing your eyes closed trying not to let all the memories rush back into your mind. It was crazy that you were willing to spill the details to someone you had known for 24 hours.

“You don’t have to carry on if you don’t want to.” Charles whispered, pressing a tender kiss against your cheek.

“You wanted to get to know me right?” you asked, feeling him nod against you, “then you need to know this as it is basically the reason we are in Monaco.” you said quietly, leaning further back into Charles’ arms feeling his grip tighten around you. It was like he was your own personal comfort blanket. “3 years in things changed, I always had a feeling he was cheating on me. He started controlling every aspect of my life from who I hung out with, what I wore, what I ate.”

Charles heard you sniffle and the sound alone broke his heart but knew the reason behind it well that killed him. He found himself holding you a little bit tighter, pressing kisses to the back of your head, as if he was reminding you that he was there for you.

“But the final straw was when he started getting violent towards me.” you sighed, “I quickly packed my shit and ended up sleeping on Rena’s sofa for a couple of months whilst I got my life back on track. He made me feel worthless, ugly and I didn’t deserve love”

A couple of tears rolled down your cheek, Charles felt the slight wetness on his hand. Within an instance he was kneeling in front of you, his thumbs gently wiped the tears away before pulling you into his bare chest. He had only known you for a short amount of time but he knew the connection was real so hearing you admit everything you went through at a young age made him want to hunt this prick down and kill him.

“Listen to me,” Charles whispered, pulling back so you could look at him. “Everything that prick said or made you feel is a lie. You are beautiful, funny, extremely cute when you get embarrassed and most of all extremely strong.”

You could feel your cheeks heat up and the butterflies erupt in your stomach at his words. One look in his eyes and you knew he meant what he said.

“So yeah, that's basically the last five years of my life. I'm 26 years old and I don’t have a job or a boyfriend.” you mumbled against his skin.

Charles smirked at the sound of you saying you didn’t have a boyfriend, it meant he had some sort of a shot with you and he didn’t care that you were older than him.

“Anyway, enough about me, I want to know about you.” you giggled, flopping back on the sofa, watching how his eyes twinkled in the dim light of the sky. He took your breath away in ways you didn’t think was possible.

“What do you want to know?” he chuckled, lying next to you.

“Everything.” you said softly, rolling onto your side resting your head on his chest listening to the steady beat of his heart through the sweater. Slipping a hand under the material you started drawing random shapes on his skin.

Over the next couple of hours you listened to him talk about how he grew up, karting, getting into F1. You loved hearing him talk, his accent was to die for and you could spend the rest of your life hearing him speak.

“I’ve just had a crazy idea.” he laughed, watching as you lifted your head off his chest looking at him.

“What is that Char?”

There it was again, hearing the nickname roll off your tongue it was something he could get used to hearing.

“Well, you know how you said that you are unemployed.”

“Yeah, where are you going with this?” you asked, cocking your brow at him.

“How about you spend the summer here?” he asked, watching as your eyes went wide. “With me. I am on summer break, there is around three weeks before the races start again.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, he wanted to spend his break with you. Your heart was racing as your brain tried to catch up with the situation.

“You want me here?” you whispered, your insecurities rearing their ugly head again.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he said softly, taking your hand in his. “We don’t have to put a label on it, we can just have some fun this summer.” His thumb brushed over your knuckles as he spoke. “You can stay with me, we can also work on your French. And it would be the perfect way for you to decide if you want to move out here permanently.”

Your heart was screaming, this was like the ultimate dream.

“Sounds good to me.” you giggles, leaning up covering his face with soft kisses. “At least let me spend some time with the girls, it was meant to be a girls holiday after all.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to ditch them, darling.” he hummed, capturing your lips in a soft kiss. “Afterall I think your sister would kill me if I stole you away before Friday.”

Sneaking back into the hotel room you prayed no one else was awake yet, smiling to yourself as you quietly closed the main door to the room. You felt like a tenneager again, sneaking back in.

“And she returns.” Rena’s voice appeared from the balcony making you jump.

“Shit,” you breathed, clutching your chest. “You made me jump.”

“You do know it’s 6.30am right?” She smiled, raising her brow at you.

“I can tell the time.” You laughed, making your way to the coffee machine. You could still feel Charles’ touch on your lips and the smell of the hoodie made your soul happy.

For the first time in forever you were excited about a summer, you couldn’t wait to spend it with Charles but first you needed to break the news to Rena that you wouldn’t be coming home with them.

Once you had made two coffees you took them out onto the balcony receiving a questioning look from your sister.

“Come on, spill the beans.” She grinned, offering you a smoke.

You knew you shouldn’t have taken one as you were trying to quit but it seemed you could only go a couple of days before you went back to the bad habit. “You are a bad influence.” You laughed, the cigarette hanging between your teeth as you looked at her through your lashes lighting the cig.

“Stop diverting around my question.”

“Okay fine.” You grinned leaning back in the plastic chair.

For the next half an hour you told her what happened once it was just you and Charles on the boat, the smile never left your face as you rambled on.

Rena watched as you bounced around the conversation, your grin wide and your eyes shining bright as you spoke about Charles. It had been a while since she had seen this side of her sister and she silently thanks Charles for giving you your spark back.

“He wants me to stay.” You beamed, taking a drag of the smoke.

“Stay where?” Rena asked.

“Here, Monaco.” You giggled, watching your sister's eyes widen at your statement. “Re, we have such a deep connection, I feel like we’ve known each other for years, I don’t know how to explain it but he wants me to spend the summer break with him. We will still do everything we have planned up until Friday and then when you guys leave for the airport I won’t be coming with you. I will be staying here in Monaco with Char.”

Rena couldn’t help but grin, she could feel the connection between you and Leclerc, in fact everyone could. But she couldn’t help but worry about you.

“So it’s a summer fling?”

“We aren’t labelling it.” You shrugged, taking another drag from the smoke.

“Just promise me you will be careful,” she whispered, taking your other hand in hers, squeezing it as she talked.

“I’m a big girl Re, I know what I’m doing.”

“I know Y/N, I just don’t want you to have an amazing summer and then be left heartbroken because it was just a quick fling.” She said softly, “I would be a shit big sister if I didn’t worry.”

You knew she had a point but you didn’t want to think about that right now, you just wanted to live in the moment. You had spent way too long worrying about what ifs that it felt good to take each day as it comes.

“You know on the way out here I realised that I wanted to move here,” you hummed, stubbing the cigarette out in the ashtray. “The moment we stepped off the plane it just felt right and I dunno it just felt like home. Maybe this is what I need, a summer romance before I get a fresh start in a new country.”

“Just promise me you will be careful.”

“Always.”

As the morning passed on Jessie and Holly joined you out on the balcony once again going through the events of last night. Whilst you were all chilling around the table you planned out the day.

Shopping, lunch, beach.

The smile was permanently on your face as you walked through the streets of Monaco with your girls. You didn’t think you would ever be happy again but you also didn’t imagine a certain Monégasque could race into your life flipping your world on its head in such a short space of time.

The shopping trip was successful, you had brought yourself a whole new wardrobe to get you through the next three weeks, not caring that you would have to buy another suitcase and would have to pay for extra baggage to get it home.

After all the bags had been dropped off at the hotel room you headed out finding a small cafe not too far from the hotel. You had been in and ordered with Rena first so you didn’t lose your table. Pulling your phone out you saw you had a text from Charles.

📲 Char 🥰

Hope you are having a great day and not causing too much trouble. Pierre wants to know if you girls want to come for dinner tonight, think he has a thing for Rena x

A smirk crossed your lips and you flicked your phone around showing your sister the message, her reaction told you everything you needed to know as she started giggling.

💬 To Char 🥰

Tell me when and where and we will be there 😘 and they definitely have a thing for each other x

Swiping off the conversation you quickly checked your emails feeling your heart stop as you saw the one email you had been hoping for.

New position available: Social Media Manager Scuderia Ferrari F1 Team.

Role includes:

Working closely with the content, social and marketing departments.

Grow and manage Scuderia Ferrari’s social channels through engaging and on-brand content creation and execution

Build and manage the content calendar, working closely with all internal teams and stakeholders to develop a clear workflow and guidelines for all channels

Travelling with the team, creating behind the scenes content for fans

You swore your heart stopped for a moment, this was what you dreamed of, ever since you got into Formula One when you were five years old. You always wanted to be part of the team, you didn’t care which team but the fact this was for Ferrari made it a million times better.

“Re,” you breathed passing her your phone. “Is this really happening? My dream job has a vacancy.” You grinned, but your happiness was short lived when you realised that you struggled with languages and it was part of the requirements.

Rena knew exactly what was going through your head as she read the qualification section. She didn’t say anything as she tapped away at the screen sending in your application.

“Your application has just been sent.” She smiled, handing your phone back to you. “You can’t let that hold you back, I have a good feeling you will get the position and plus you said that Charles was going to help you with French, maybe you can get him to help with Italian as well. Everything will work out in your favour. And just think when it does you will be able to spend more time with Charles.”

Leaning back in the chair you pulled a cigarette to your lips trying to control your mind from racing, you couldn’t believe she just sent the application in. Yes it was a dream of yours but the fact you could only speak one language would be the think that fucked your chances.

“Vous l'avez mal. You've got it bad.” Pierre smirked at his best friend, watching as he re-did his hair for the tenth time. “Je ne pense pas t'avoir déjà vu comme ça. I don't think I've seen you like this before.”

Charles rolled his eyes at the words but he knew it was the truth. There was something about you that sent him into a frenzy.

“Elle est différente. She's different.” He hummed, watching Pierre smirk through the mirror. “Les prochaines semaines s'annoncent heureuses. Mais vient ensuite le plus dur, quand la saison recommence. The next couple of weeks are going to be bliss. But then comes the hard part, when the season starts back up again.”

Pierre nodded as Charles spoke, still perfecting his hair.

Charles knew that this was basically a summer fling, a bit of fun but part of him wanted to see where this went after the next couple of weeks. The connection between the two of you was intense and he had never felt like this about anyone, especially this quickly. You treated him like a human once you got over the initial shock, it wasn’t all about his fame when you were together.

“You just gotta wait and see.” Pierre hummed, fiddling with his keys trying to hurry Charles up. “Everyone can see it, you two have something strong. It’s like you have known each other for years.”

Charles just smiled at the comment, finally happy with how his hair was, he couldn’t wait to spend the next couple of weeks with you. Maybe this was what he needed for the season, someone to keep him grounded, to celebrate with and someone that would be there for him during the shit races and tough times.

In his heart he knew he wouldn’t be able to break off whatever it was you had going on, smiling to himself as he remembered the two sayings his dad always used to say. “Quand l'amour frappe à ta porte, respire juste mon fils. Laissez-le entrer, embrassez-le à bras ouverts car avoir peur du bonheur est un non-sens complet. When love knocks at your door, just breath my son. Let it in, embrace it with open arms because being afraid of happiness is complete nonsense.” “Lorsque vous rencontrez celui qui change la façon dont votre cœur bat, dansez avec lui sur ce rythme aussi longtemps que dure la chanson. When you meet the one who changes the way your heart beats, dance with them to that rhythm for as long as the song lasts.”

However it did scare him at how quick he was falling for you.

Taking a deep breath he took one final look at his appearance, his lips tugged into a smile at the thought of seeing you again tonight. All he needed to do was wait patiently until the end of the week and then you would be all him.

It was official he had fallen and he had fallen hard.

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