#if you could see my life you would know why I've given up organizing that

[lunememes]

🌙 * ― 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐓 ( a collection of sentence starters from season one of amazon's fallout show. feel free to adjust the wording and pronouns as needed! do not add to the list. )

❛  and in that respect, he could be a cannibal or just like, crammed full of tumours. ❜ ❛  flesh is weak but steel endures. ❜ ❛  unless you know what to find and preserve, you're more useful as a corpse. ❜ ❛  how do we know they're not feral? ❜ ❛  well what makes you think i give a good goddamn about that? ❜ ❛  well what the fuck would you know 'bout where i'm from? ❜ ❛  but for me, well, i do this shit for the love of the game. ❜ ❛  you come from a place of rules, of laws. this place is indifferent to all of that. ❜ ❛  question is, will you still want the same things when you have become a different animal altogether? ❜ ❛  you earn the suit through acts of bravery. this is an act of bravery. ❜ ❛  and i'm telling you you're gonna go through a whole lot worse if you stay 'round here. trust me. ❜ ❛  clean hair. nice teeth. and all ten fingers. must be nice. ❜ ❛  the vaults were nothing more than a hole in the ground for rich folks to hide in while the rest of the world burned. ❜ ❛  you know your kind ain't welcome here. ❜ ❛  you gotta be fucking kidding me. ❜ ❛  you'll be lucky if you can make it to fucking breakfast. ❜ ❛  i'm sorry for yellin', been shot in the leg. ❜ ❛  do you have anyone else you can trust in this town? ❜ ❛  do i really have to kill him? ❜ ❛  well, if you like the taste of lavender, why not just drink a bottle of perfume? ❜ ❛  that's the worst thing i've ever put in my mouth. that's horrible. ❜ ❛  do unto others as you would have done unto you. ❜ ❛  thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time. ❜ ❛  water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink. ❜ ❛  where do you think you're going? you ain't going nowhere. ❜ ❛  there you are, you little killer. ❜ ❛  no! what a disgusting idea. i'm simply going to harvest your organs. ❜ ❛  i may end up looking like you, but i'll never be like you. ❜ ❛  i really wanna believe you but practically every person i've met up here has tried to kill me. ❜ ❛  listen, hey. you don't get this medicine, you're gonna pass out, okay? and if you lose consciousness, we're both gonna die. ❜ ❛  i've seen these in old engineering manuals but never in real life. ❜ ❛  now, seeing as everyone on earth seems to be after that thing, i'm guessing that's what you're looking for too? ❜ ❛  and you could've killed me when i collapsed back there and you didn't. ❜ ❛  i get that trust doesn't come easily up here. but you can trust me. ❜ ❛  i hate it up here. ❜ ❛  the things i'm willing to do for you never cease to amaze me. ❜ ❛  hey, hey, hey. come here. i'm sorry. i know you always try to do the right thing. that's what i love about you. ❜ ❛  trust doesn't come easily to those of us with a guilty conscience. ❜ ❛  in my experience, the apple tends not to fall too far from the tree. is that true in your case? ❜ ❛  these people are hiding something from us, and i'm gonna prove it to you, okay? ❜ ❛  there's always some new little faction, ain't there? brand new team of believers with their own dumbass ideas about how they gonna save the world. ❜ ❛  so what d'you think [name]? am i really walking out of here today, or are you gonna try and draw on me for what i did? ❜ ❛  a good bad guy doesn't see themselves as the bad guy. ❜ ❛  and yet power is taken, not given. a lesson you seem to have learned. ❜ ❛  war never changes. ❜ ❛  you look out at this wasteland, looks like chaos. but there's always somebody behind the wheel. and that's who i wanna talk to. ❜ ❛  maybe you can stop them. maybe you can't. maybe all you can do is try. ❜

[groverapologist]

PJO/HoO characters as mitski lyrics.

percy: "i will retire to the salton sea / at the age of 23 / for i'm starting to learn i may never be free / but though i may never be free / fuck you and your money / i'm tired of your money" - Drunk Walk Home

annabeth: "and if i break, could i go on break? / be back in my room, writing speeches in my head / listening to the thousand hands that clap for me in the dark" - When Memories Snow

grover: "i don't like my mind / i don't like being left alone in a room / with all its opinions about / the things that i've done" - I Don't Like My Mind

rachel: "i'm holding my breath with a baseball bat / though i don't know what i'm waiting for / i am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be" - Townie

thalia: "i bet on losing dogs / i know they're losing and i'll pay for my place, by the ring / where i'll be looking in their eyes when they're down" - I Bet on Losing Dogs

nico: "open up your heart / like the gates of hell / you stay soft, you get beaten / only natural to harden up / you stay soft, you get beaten / only natural to harden up" - Stay Soft

clarisse: "i try to remember the wrath of the devil / was also given him by god" - Bug Like An Angel

luke: "you're an angel, i'm a dog / or you're a dog and i'm your man / you believe me like a god / i'll destroy you like i am" - I'm Your Man

ethan: "there's a deal you can make on a midnight walk alone / look around, listen close, hear it fall from above / it will ask what you'd give and what you'd take for it in return" - The Deal

silena: "see my hands, pretty boy. what so they tell you? / cuz i've looked down at them not knowing why" - Bag of Bones

charlie: "hanging onto a cliff / that stretched him every day / and when she'd ask to hold hands / he would smile and / let one of his hands go / his whole life in one hand" - Dan The Dancer

will: "all the eggshells are on the ground / and i try, i'm trying to pick them up / but they crack and crumble, it's all too much / too frail for me to touch" - Humpty

reyna: "and i know no one will save me / i'm just asking for a kiss / give me one good move kiss, and i'll be alright" - Nobody

piper: "i'm beautiful, i know cuz it's the season / but what am i to do with all this beauty? / biology, i am an organism / i'm chemical, that's all, that is all" - Liquid Smooth

leo: "one word from you / and i would jump off of this ledge i'm on, baby / tell me don't, so i can crawl back in" - First Love/Late Spring

jason: "i am something / i have been something / i was born something / what could i be? there is a light that i can see / but only, it seems, when there's darkness in me / there is a dream that i sometimes see / that only appears in the dark of sleep" - Abbey

hazel: "now i've no one to tell / how i lost my best friend / the frost, it looks / like we've been left in the attic / but you're not here to see" - The Frost

frank: "i get mean when i'm nervous like a bad dog / i get mean when i'm nervous like a bad dog" - Cop Car

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

The Underground (Part 2) | #LeviMonth2024 Hurt/Comfort Two-Shot

✧ word count ➼ ~1.6k ✧ notes ➼ mafia!au, mafia boss!levi x assassin!reader, loosely based off the longfic i've been attempting to write for a year 😭 part 1 here! ✧ comments ➼ levi month entry for august 28! ✧ join my levi month taglist here!

{{ August 25 (Drunk) }} Masterlist

Your run-in with Levi had deeply disturbed you. For a moment, you even wondered what life would be like next to him, if you had given into your feelings and defected to be with him. It hurt to be so close to him and be unable to have him.

You were near the exit to the venue now that you had accomplished your mission. Levi had snatched the poison from you, so you couldn't go with your original plan. You were forced to go in and do it the old-fashioned way, which unfortunately always ended in chaos as soon as the target dropped dead.

You knew that Levi likely wouldn't let you leave alive now that you had killed his funder.

Feeling your phone buzz, you pulled it out to check for any further orders before you departed. Your heart dropped once you saw the dreadful order that you knew was inevitable—you had to assassinate Levi himself.

You didn't have time to come up with an excuse not to, but you also knew that you couldn't get yourself to follow through with it either.

Letting out an exasperated sigh of defeat as you heard Levi approaching you from behind, you loosened your grip on your phone, letting it drop out of your hands and onto the ground below.

"...just kill me and get it over with," you mumbled. "Now that I've killed your funder, I bet you'd want nothing more than to see my head on a platter."

"Perhaps," he responded cold-heartedly, without giving any real indication as to what was going on through his head.

However, beneath his ice-cold exterior lurked deeper feelings of dread over losing someone he actually cared for, despite your association with his adversaries.

He had given you a chance to leave right after cutting you off simply due to his desire to avoid this confrontation. Decisions would have to be made, with both outcomes being just as complicated. A part of him had hoped that you'd leave and go back to whatever relationship you previously had with him, as naive as that thought was.

However, now that you had succeeded in your mission, he knew that he couldn't afford to remain idle any longer. He had to make a choice.

He knew the fact that he was even struggling with this was foolish and incredibly selfish. Levi could almost hear Kenny in the back of his head berating him for being too weak and soft to be leading a criminal organization.

Levi let out a sigh that was just as exasperated as yours. The thought of going through with his instinct of killing you briefly ran through his mind, but he felt his heart grow increasingly heavy at the thought.

"Your target was found dead roughly 15 minutes ago," he finally spoke. "You have had at least that much time to escape, yet I still found you here."

His tone was pragmatic and calm as usual, but you knew what information he was probing you for. He was wanting to know why you were still here when you had plenty of time to leave.

A part of it was because you were hesitant to leave, but it was also influenced by the order that you had just received.

"...they ordered me to kill you," you admitted without turning to face him. "...and I can't. So I'm dead either way, whether it's by your hand for being the enemy, or by their hand for failing this mission."

Levi walked around to step in front of you, gently placing one hand on your shoulder, with the other tilting your head up so that your gaze met his.

Looking directly into his eyes made it feel impossible to continue concealing your emotions.

"...just please at least believe me when I say that I really did love you," you whispered in an almost pleading tone.

Hearing your admission again sent a pang through Levi's heart, making it difficult for him to keep holding back his own feelings.

"Do you mean that?" he whispered hoarsely, with genuine confusion and turmoil spilling into his usually stoic demeanor.

"Of course I do," you said underneath your breath. "I desperately tried to convince myself otherwise, and to see you as nothing more than the enemy—but I couldn't. And they know it, too."

Levi remained quiet for a few seconds, trying to determine how he felt regarding your words.

"So your death is the only outcome."

The blank look in his eyes was replaced with an irritated one as soon as he saw you nod, with his eyebrows furrowing together into a scowl.

"You serious?" he questioned with a scoff. "I find out you're the Interior Police's deadliest assassin and here you are, willing to throw in the towel the minute things get slightly complicated."

"Well, what other choice do I have?!" you asked, your incredulous tone matching the intensity of his. "If I disobey, then it'll only confirm that I was involved with you! And my only other option is to obey and kill you and I-"

You cut yourself off, feeling your emotions building within you as your voice rose, taking a deep breath to try to calm yourself down.

"And?"

You averted your gaze at his question, clearly conflicted.

"I don't think I can," you whispered.

Levi's posture visibly changed once he heard your response, his chest rising and falling as he took a deep breath.

"You're lying to yourself, _____."

You slowly looked back up at him as he spoke, confused over what he was implying.

"There is another choice, and I'm willing to take that risk with you," he said firmly. "Can you find it in yourself to trust me, even if it's just for tonight?"

You stepped back, shuffling around anxiously, directing your gaze down to the ground. You knew what he was referring to—he wanted you to defect, or he was at least offering you the option to. Part of you knew that this was where it was always meant to go, but there was also a part of you that was terrified that he was lying to get you to let your guard down.

"This is the Underground, Levi," you mumbled. "You know that trust doesn't come easy."

He kept his grasp firm on your chin to bring your gaze back to him and to pull you back towards him. There was a look of desperation in his eyes. He needed a yes or no answer from you, not wanting to continue this game of dancing around what obviously needed to be addressed.

"_____, please," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. "I need to know. I can protect you, I swear."

"Big bad mafia boss protecting the enemy?" you asked skeptically, although there was a big part of you that hoped that he was telling the truth.

"That really so hard to believe?"

"Yes," you responded bluntly. "It's as you said. The underground is filled with liars and people pretending to be allies. I killed one of your supporters, and received orders to kill you next. How do I know that this isn't just another one of these games that we find ourselves entangled in?"

"...you don't," he admitted. "Nothing I say will reassure you of that. But if you choose to trust me, even if it ends tomorrow, I'll do everything I can to keep you out of their grasp."

The fact that he was refusing to kill you even though you were vulnerable and essentially giving in was already indicative that he wasn't lying about wanting to protect you.

"...and how do you know that you can trust me?" you asked with a subtle tilt of your head. "And that I won't stab you in the back the minute you let your guard down?"

Frustrated at his persistent inability to get through to you, he pulled you in, gently planting his lips on yours as he poured all of his pent-up emotions into that kiss, hoping that it would communicate at least something to you.

You felt your heart slightly flutter, with this being the first kiss that you had shared with him that wasn't born out of lust.

"I don't," he whispered, resting his forehead against yours as he cupped your cheeks. "But I guess I'm choosing to trust you. Do you have it in you to choose to trust me, too?"

Your face was flushed from the kiss as he held you close. You knew you were fucked simply due to how invested you were in him already, and that you didn't have a chance when it came to trying to convince yourself that you didn't want him. Plus, the idea of being with him officially felt like a breath of fresh air.

Being an enemy of the IP was annoying and overwhelming, but you did implicitly believe that Levi would be able to help you navigate your way through this. You were a capable combatant, but even you would've struggled battling the IP with little to no resources.

"...I trust you," you whispered.

His eyes softened as he planted another kiss on your lips, holding you there for a moment.

"No regrets?" he asked underneath his breath.

A small smile formed on your lips at his question, before kissing him back, gripping at the collar of his shirt to keep him close.

"None."

#: @shayewrites @littlerequiem @i-lev-you @humanitys-strongest-brat @mostlilo @dustbuniesworld @levisrations @ebechnasheim @moonchild-angel @jayteacups @bipolargatto @samackermaan @deepzombieyouth @levkuna @levisfavoriteteashop @ackermanswifee @ae-chidori @2dsimpomg @anti-cupid

[dangerouslypassiveaggressive]

A Terribly Organized Almost-Essay About Suzanne Collins and Why I Think She Writes

Lukewarm take because it's been years, but here it goes: if there's anything I've learned over the years, it's that Suzanne Collins is not a people pleaser. (The author, at least. I don't know her personally lol). And she be pleasing the people, that's not what I mean! I just kept hearing the same question being asked over and over again. "Why Snow? Why him?? Why not anybody else? Really?? A prequel about HIM??" It really made me think.

And don't get me wrong! I'd slash someone's tires for a Finnick prequel just like the next person (Suzanne please!), but that has never been the point of her writing. The Hunger Games novels, and by extension, the prequel book The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, aren't just fun fiction reads. Yeah, they're gripping. The world-building is superb. Young people are at the center of it. And all these characteristics are great, but the thing that draws us in, that keeps us consuming her media like hungry little caterpillars, is that they are, time and time again, a captivating and accurate criticism, analysis, and deconstruction of the broken systems society experiences in the real world. I can only speak from my own experience as a Mexican American woman in the United States, so take all of this with a grain of salt.

The Capitol is colorful and fun and interesting and horrible and sadistic. And it is all those things because it is a symbol of our own real-world 1%, except our own glittering Capitol members here in the real world feed us the hope that we may reach their status if we only work hard enough for long enough. The Hunger Games system never makes that claim. In fact, they are fed the narrative that the system only works because they're stuck where they are. Suzanne Collins is taking everything one step further in her writing because it is a type of satire, a critique of the things we already know. So as an author, she blows it out of proportion so that her reader will say "look at this! How ridiculous! How would someone let the system treat them this way!" And it is ridiculous, it's downright laughable that an entire society, an entire country, would let itself be oppressed in such a cruel way by just a few people in charge instead of rising up and- oh wow, yeah, I see it. She wrote about us.

Suzanne Collins just organized everything neatly into boxes- well, districts. Because every district comes with some form of product that they manufacture, but much more importantly: a class. We go in order from 1-13. District 1 manufactures luxury items and District 2 makes weapons (but mostly trains Peacekeepers), so they have the most privilege and wealth. On the other end, Districts 11 and 12 are the agricultural and coal mining districts, respectively. That's back-breaking work. Not to mention District 11 puts kids as young as 12 to work, and District 12 is poverty-stricken and starving. "But what about District 13?" You may ask, "They make nuclear weapons! Why aren't they up there with 2?" Fantastic question. If we know, and the people of Panem know, that the hierarchy is very clearly set by literal number order, why would one of the most powerful and competent districts be given more power and be put at the top? Placing them at the end lets them believe that they aren't powerful or competent. I mean, jeez, look at 12 and they're before 13? I wouldn't believe I could make it on my own either. (We know now that's not how things go down, but it's a clever power move regardless.)

But after all this, would it hurt Suzanne to give us a single book just for fun?

Yes, I believe it would, that's the whole point. We're not meant to fall for the Peeta/Katniss/Gale love triangle. We're not meant to be interested in Finnick's secrets and early life. We're not meant to want to know the morbid details of how Haymitch won his Games (with double the contestants! Ooh. Aah.) We're meant to be horrified at every turn, at every story. We're meant to ask ourselves how things got so bad, how anyone let this happen. Suzanne Collins has written wonderfully fleshed out characters that grip us and make us want to know more, but the point has never been them or even their loved ones. It was never about Katniss or Prim or Peeta or Finnick or Annie. It's always been about the systems that let this story happen, and where Suzanne got her inspiration: the very real lives we lead. The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes shows us the same thing.

So why Coriolanus Snow? Because he is the catalyst to a broken system that only serves the powerful. If Suzanne were to write a novel about any of our much more beloved characters, then she would be writing the exact same book over and over about the same oppression happening in the same system. She does not write for the sake of bringing her very well-written characters to life, but to flesh out the poverty, the starvation, the power struggles, the horrors they experience. We know this because she writes a lot of her characters as symbols. (Coin, for instance, as the symbol for a power-hungry figurehead, or Prim as the innocent during war.)

Snow is living in a slightly different biome than what we know from The Hunger Games series. He has to make sacrifices and decisions for him and his family, but it's different. It is a view and critique from the inside looking in. This is not Katniss getting to experience the Capitol for the first time and understanding just how terribly unfair everything is. This is someone who is very aware of the way things work and playing the game to stay in power and keep their privilege. Not only that, but it's someone who feels entitled to all of it. In this novel, Suzanne plays around with power and people's position in it. What if a mad scientist was in charge? What if the creator of the thing that brought a semblance of peace was just as horrified as the reader? How far is one person willing to go for power? What if we saw the dawn of a world we're already familiar with?

So I hope she keeps writing, because I love seeing our world through her eyes and the parallels she writes from our world to hers of the injustices happening every day. Even though we'll probably never get the stories we crave, but that's okay. Keep putting those kids through hell, Suzanne.

[bi-bard]

I've Had No Love Like Your Love - Gary "Eggsy" Unwin Imagine [Kingsman]

Title: I've Had No Love Like Your Love

Pairing: Gary "Eggsy" Unwin X Reader

Based On: Nobody

Word Count: 1,083 words

Warning(s): Insecurities

Summary: Eggsy's new job gives him opportunities and experiences that he could have never imagined. (Y/n) is worried that these experiences are going to pull him away from them. Eggsy tries his best to show that nothing he's done will ever be more important than them.

Author's Note: Pretty sure this happened because of the internet throwing edits about the second Kingsman film at me. Which I had a lot of fun watching, by the way.

WASTELAND, BABY! - HOZIER WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

--------------------

I met Eggsy long before his life with the Kingsman started.

He had been this bubbly, sarcastic, and all-around-loving guy. It didn't take long for him to win me over. He was charming and sweet. I fell far faster than I cared to admit.

I was happier with him than I had been with anyone else. It was silly, almost delusional, but I was getting to the point where I felt like we were going to last forever.

And then, Eggsy found a new job.

He hid it from me at first, but after seeing how suspicious that looked, he dropped the act.

I could still remember vividly sitting across from him at my dining room table as he rambled on and on about what he was doing. The training and the gadgets and the assholes he had met through it all. He told me about how his being gone for days was because he was going on missions for a secret organization that I wasn't meant to know about.

I didn't believe him at first.

That's when he showed me some of the gadgets he had. He showed me some of the suits that they had given him. I got to know the Kingsman label.

I asked him if he was going to get in trouble for telling me all of this.

He kissed me and told me that he didn't care if he did. He'd rather that than lose me. Which did make me feel very special.

I accepted every part of it.

The long trips away, the small injuries that he came home with, the lack of a steady schedule. And the dog. The dog was a nice bonus to the job.

I never wanted to question his work. And I didn't.

I never had a lot of problems with the work. I got worried when he showed up hurt, but that was kind of it.

After a while though, the stories started to get to me. I wasn't upset hearing them or jealous or anything like that, but the more and more I heard about those stories, the more I found this sickening feeling in my stomach. Like I was... disappointing him... somehow.

I heard all these stories about these amazing places and the cool stuff that he did, and I just felt... boring. How was I supposed to compare to stuff like that?

I always ignored it. Well, I tried.

In all honesty, I never thought that Eggsy noticed it.

We all think that we're better at hiding things than we actually are.

I was in the middle of putting my clothes away, listening to him go on and on about the last mission he was on. I nodded along, chuckling where it felt appropriate.

"You alright?"

I furrowed my eyebrows as I turned to him. "What are you talking about?"

"You just seem... out of it."

"What," I forced a scoff. "Eggsy, I'm fine."

"(Y/n), we've been together for a while, I can tell when you're not."

I took a deep breath as I leaned against the dresser. "I... Do I bore you?"

"Sorry?"

"Do I bore you?" I repeated. "Am I boring?"

"No, why would you ask that?"

"You just... You come home from these trips and you have all these stories about what you did and what you saw and who you met and it just... I feel boring compared to that part of your life."

He didn't respond for a moment.

"And I know that it sounds dumb and childish but I... I can't help it, Eggsy. I... I'll get over it. I don't want you to think that I don't care about your work because I do and I admire it. I don't... I don't want to be controlling or anything like that and I'm sorry-"

"Stop," he spoke up, cutting off my rambling. I did, biting at the inside of my cheek.

He walked over to stand opposite me, his back facing the bed. He pulled the sleeve of his jacket up. "See this?"

He pointed at a bracelet on his wrist. It had been a gift I had gotten him. It was small, simple. A braided bracelet with a small charm hanging off of it. It wasn't a super expensive gift, but I didn't have a lot to spend at the time. I was surprised that it had landed as long as it had.

I nodded as I looked at it.

"I wear this during every mission that I go on," he explained as he walked forward. "Do you know why?"

I didn't answer.

"Because all I care about on those missions is getting back to you," he continued. "Through every badass thing I get to do, through all of the suits and gadgets and crap, all I want is to come home to you. Because I love you. A lot. More than I've loved anyone before."

I felt a grin form on my lips. "I love you too."

He reached forward and cupped the sides of my face, smiling back at me. He leaned his forehead against mine for a few moments before kissing me gently. I kissed him back, reaching my hands out to touch his sides. It was loving, gentle, perfect.

During our small moment together, I felt something tickling my leg. I pulled away, looking down to see what it was. Eggsy's forehead pressed against the side of my head as I did. His eyes were still shut.

"What is it," he asked.

I turned to look at him again. "Your dog is licking my leg."

"What?" his eyes opened as he leaned back and looked down. "For fuck's sake-"

"It's alright," I chuckled.

"Ruined our moment."

"Nooo," I shook my head before leaning down to pick up the pug. "Were you getting a little jealous?"

The pug licked my hand as I went to pet him. I laughed quietly.

"Just wants a little attention," I said, looking at Eggsy again.

"So do I," he replied.

"The pug's cuter."

He scoffed at me. "Excuse me?"

I walked into the main room, sitting with the dog in my lap. Eggsy followed me out. He sat next to me on the couch, pulling me into his side. He kissed my head.

"I love you," he muttered against my hair.

"I love you too," I replied.

That was the moment that I started to truly believe that this life was far more perfect than whatever life with the Kingsman offered.

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[delfiore]

—DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT. (2/3)

pairing: natasha romanoff x android!reader

synopsis: a face-to-face with caesar confirms what you are already too afraid to admit, as your days as the mole are numbered.

word count: 2.1k

PART I, PART III

Caesar’s new command kept you on edge, you barely had time to do anything else. It was in your program to obey the instructions you were given, so even if you didn’t want to, your brain—CPU—was calculating the best possible way to kill Natasha. You thought about poisoning her, stabbing her in her sleep, pushing her off a ledge to make it look like an accident. The thought of killing Nat was horrifying, but it was even more horrifying to know that you were perfectly capable of doing it, or that you would not be able to stop yourself once the command has been entered.

You wiped the tears that had been running freely down your cheeks. Looking in the mirror, you saw no flaw, no imperfection, just a hollow shell of your face model staring back at you. You wondered whether whomever your face was modeled after lived a normal life, if they knew of your existence, or were they just trying to get home after a long week of work.

“Baby?”

“Huh?”

“Ibuprofen,” Nat called from the bedroom, “could you grab it from the cabinet, please?”

The last mission she went on left her with a dislocated shoulder. It had since been reset, but she needed painkillers to help with the ache.

“Uh, yeah,” you sniffled and grabbed what she needed. When you returned to the bedroom, she was already looking at you with furrowed eyebrows.

She was silent when you handed her the pill bottle, and when you climbed into bed wordlessly.

“Y/N, I didn’t wanna say anything because I wanted you to feel ready to talk to me about whatever it is, but I’m worried, my love.”

You let out a slow breath, and mustered up the best smile you were able to.

“I’m okay. It’s just, work has been a bit stressful.”

“Really? Has Tony been overworking you? I can tell him to—“

“No, no, Nat, please,” you exhaled sharply, “just let it go. Please.”

A beat of silence passed and you thought she might have decided to drop it when she said. “You’re hurting, and I don’t know how to help you. It hurts me to see you like this.”

You felt the guilt gnawing at the back of your throat, threatening to spill out of your mouth. It was a surprising thing to learn that you could feel guilt (you have been feeling it a lot lately). Caesar must have installed it to make you second-guess disobeying him; another failsafe in case you desert.

“I don’t know if I’m deserving of all this, Nat.”

“What do you mean?”

“This, being Tony’s assistant, this life here, you.” You cried quietly. “I don’t know i-if I deserve all this.”

“Of course you do,” Natasha cooed. She probably thought you were going insane.

Natasha was never one for words, and the repeated opening and closing of her mouth was enough to tell you that she didn’t know what to say. She brought you into her arms, and let you cry quietly against her chest.

You never let her see you cry. There was an unspoken shame that you felt whenever you felt the tears coming, like you didn’t deserve to cry, like it was a privilege reserved only for those with real emotions. But if what you were feeling then, that warm sensation spread across your chest, the safeness of being enveloped in Nat’s embrace as she whispered repeated I love you’s in your ears, if that wasn’t real, nothing else on Earth was. Everything would cease to exist, and life would have no meaning.

Maybe that way you would finally deserve her.

You would learn later that Caesar had managed to get on the Avengers’ radar. It wasn’t hard to tell why; VULCAN is one of the only organizations in the world that manufactured artificial intelligence smart enough to blend into society without compromise.

“Jeez,” Clint laughed, “wonder how many of those are walking around Time Square right now.”

“If I had to guess, it'd be a lot." Tony opened a computer screen. "Which is why I've installed scanners in our metal detectors, looking for abnormally high levels of iron in a body. Could be an indication of synthetic blood. Everyone coming into the Compound will be scanned.”

“People with heart diseases and diabetes could also have high levels of iron,” Vision chimed in.

“Sounds like our accuracy could be off,” Sam noted.

“We don’t know what we’re dealing with yet, or how human-like these things are. This is our best bet right now,” Tony shook his head.

“One thing for sure, though,” Nat said, “we have to find who’s behind this. And when we do, we have to shut those androids down to prevent a national security risk.”

You weren’t in the room when the conversation happened, but you were able to hack into F.R.I.D.A.Y’s memory drive to access the recording of the meeting anyway. You needed to know what they said, even when hearing what Nat suggested broke your heart.

It is believed that the sense of smell is closely tied to memory. It is because the olfactory bulb is directly connected to the hippocampus, the section of the limbic system that processes and stores memory. You remembered the smell of the Factory as soon as you set foot in it. It was your first ever memory since before you opened your eyes; it was a sterilized, and clean smell, too much as if to hide another smell. But once you got to Caesar’s office, though, it was replaced by a softer smell of wood, and lavender.

“FD700-16.” He smiled and beckoned you over to embrace you.

“Hello, Caesar.” You let him wrap his arms around you. “I do believe this is the first time we’ve met.”

Caesar was a man of tall stature, even for his age. Lines like rivers adorned his face, and he sported a mid-length head of grey hair. There was a glint in his blue eyes that you couldn't quite decipher; at first glance, he looked like a gentle older man. You tried to scan your database for his identity, because there was no way his real name was Caesar, but your records were blank.

“But oh, is it? I’ve always been here, even before you were born.” Caesar smiled, a wicked grin. “I’ve always been there, watching over you. You were always meant for greatness, there’s no denying that.”

You swallowed a lump in your throat. “About my new objective—“

“Ah, come, we’ll talk about that later. Come, sit. You are the best model I have created so far.”

“I’ve learned a lot, sire.” You said with a small smile. “Your program has allowed me to learn things, experience emotions. I feel . . . almost human.”

“What have you learned of the files, 16?” You could tell he was growing impatient. “The one you were tasked with retrieving?”

You blinked a few times, surprised he had brushed off your comments so easily. “I’m working on it, sire.”

Caesar let out a low sigh. “Do you know why I started VULCAN? At this point, I had worked for the CIA for years. Espionage was what I excelled at, but I’ve seen how emotion clouded many of my colleague’s judgments. But I couldn’t blame them; our intellect is humanity’s greatest gift, but also our biggest downfall. And in my line of work, it could get you killed, or worse, jeopardize the mission.

I know what you’re thinking, 16. How could jeopardizing a mission be worse than dying? When you believe in something, really believe in something, it becomes bigger than you. It affects everyone involved in it, it’s not just you anymore. That is how humans have become the apex predator; we work as one.”

You took a moment to digest everything Caesar told you. It wasn’t how you saw it, but surprisingly it made sense. “So you founded VULCAN to . . . eliminate human error?”

“Now you’re getting it,” he smiled, but it looked more like a grin, him baring his teeth. “The Red Room had the same idea, but slightly flawed as it relied on human assassins. I want to take that formula and modify it, make it perfect.”

“Perfect,” you mumbled, looking up at him. “Is that what you intended for me?”

Caesar leaned back against his chair. “Perfection is never what we are, 16, but who we have the potential to be.”

You had been in the lab for hours by the time you decided to check the time. You had been working on the same model for a few days, just like Tony wanted you to; a new algorithm to deploy his rockets faster, one that he can do so manually should F.R.I.D.A.Y. had been disconnected from taking damage—a failsafe of a sort. Instead of him having to push a button or speak a command, it would run the program using the synapses in his brain as the command.

You thought you’d do your job properly, as you wouldn’t have a job tomorrow if tonight goes accordingly.

It felt easy listening to Caesar, to heed his command. It went against your program to pretend to live in this fantasy you had with Natasha, that would never come to be anyway.

Happy endings are for humans, not androids.

Caesar was right, and he was all along. He was your maker after all.

Natasha came by to pick you up. You were supposed to go to the rooftop for a picnic with her. After that you’d go back to her room and watch a movie before calling it night, except there would be no movie because by the time you leave the rooftop, Natasha would have been dead.

You had opted for an odorless and tasteless poison that would put her to sleep first so that she wouldn’t feel anything; it would simply cause her heart to go into arrhythmia and stop beating.

Nat brought you flowers when she came into the lab.

New York at night was no less beautiful than a meadow at night; the light of the city resembled a field of fireflies in the dark of the sky. Natasha made sandwiches to share between you, you prepared some strawberries, grapes, and cheese, much easier to slip the poison into—fluid mixing with the juices of the fruit.

You brought a small lantern to light up the space where you would set up your date; it seemed almost beautiful and peaceful.

She gave you a kiss as soon as she sat down. “I love this, babe.”

You flashed a smile back. “Only the best for my best girl.”

There was a hint of a blush on her rosy cheeks. Please don’t eat the strawberries.

“Yelena says she’ll be in town next week, says she misses you. Almost like she only came to visit you.” Nat smiled with a roll of her eyes. “She mentioned something about wanting to go to an art museum. Maybe you guys should go to the Met together.”

“I’d like that,” you said, watching the way she put her chin on her fold knee. “How long is she staying?”

“A week, but she always overstays her welcome anyway.”

“Nat?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t eat the strawberries.”

“Hm? Why?”

“Cause they’re kinda going bad,” you grimaced. “I’m sorry, I was in the lab all day. Forgot to go pick up fresh ones.”

“Really? We bought these like two days ago.”

“Well, they are from Trader Joe’s.”

Your skin jumped when she picked up the fruit, bringing it up to smell it, before taking a small nibble from it.

“You didn’t think it’d be that easy, would you?”

“What?” You blinked.

She spat out the piece she had in her mouth, and set the strawberry down.

“How did you know?” You sighed.

“When you stopped using the main entrance to the Compound, and only used the entrance from the living quarters.” Natasha clenched her jaw. “I should have guessed sooner, but I guess I was too afraid to admit it.”

The loud bang of the door blowing off its hinges left you completely on edge. FBI agents shouting with their guns pointed at you, and soon enough you were entirely surrounded.

Your eyes filled with tears as you looked back at Nat, seeing her without emotion. But you knew her; she was trying really hard.

“I’m sorry, for everything,” you said before deploying a smoke bomb and jumping off the building to your escape.

Natasha sat, slumped on the picnic cloth still with food and her affection spread out. “I know,” she whispered, hoping the night’s wind would carry her words to you.

PART I, PART III

[aita-blorbos]

(Cw mild brief descriptions of gore)

AITA for knowingly sending my son into a death trap?

I (61M) have owned this rental location for animatronics for several years ago, and have been using them for experiments for a while since one of them killed my daughter and got the restaurant shut down. Now, recently they've been becoming increasingly aggressive towards me, as I give them controlled shocks to keep them in line, and they're partially made from the souls of five children I murdered. And so, I can no longer go down there.

So what I did is asked my son (26M) to head down there, telling him that he could put his sister (died several years ago) back together. What ended up happening was the animatronics down there fused themselves into one being, scooped all of my son's organs out, and wore him as a skinsuit while his body rotted away, before leaving his corpse on the sidewalk. He died, of course, but came back to life, and proceeded to send me a voicemail threatening my life.

Now, I know I do not come across well here. But you must understand, there was much on the line for me. Did I know my son would most likely die if he was sent down there? Of course! He's always resembled me, after all. And was I the one to cause the deaths of the souls haunting the animatronics, including my daughter's? Absolutely. But I am a scientist first and a father, and had I not been able to keep my experiments going... knowledge is an immensely meaningful pursuit. You expect me to give that up, for what?

And my son isn't blameless either. You see, when he was fourteen, he played a practical joke on my other son, and caused his death. And to send me, his father, a threatening voicemail because he's angry I didn't tell him everything is simply disrespectful. Why, that voicemail prompted me to take apart the other animatronics that had the dead childrens' souls, and they proceeded to corner me, making me fear for my life! I went into the suit that I used to kill those children because of their threats, and it painfully slaughtered me, causing me to bleed out slowly and painfully! How could anyone side with him for that? All this grief I've been given, all because my son decided to threaten my life after I sent him into a deathtrap.

Now, of course, I am still alive. My body is bleeding out and barely functional, but one thing you must know about me is that I am an immensely determined man. I refuse to succumb to something as menial as death. Even if it did take me for a moment, even if it took me for several years, I'll never let myself simply fall into its jaws. No matter what, I'll always come back.

This brings up the fact that my son is still alive, and functionally immortal, all thanks to me! Granted, his body is rotting away and he's become a shambling corpse that's just barely keeping itself together, but he is still alive. And my death was far more painful- his organs getting scooped out only hurt for a moment, while I've been left with sharp pieces of metal and electronics piercing my entire body as I bleed out. He has the nerve to think he's entitled to hunt me down after I caused his painful death, while MY death was far worse?

And so, I return to the question I asked at the start of this post. I knowingly sent my son into a deathtrap, and he proceeded to send me a threatening voicemail. I truly and honestly do not think I was in the wrong here, but I find your feedback extremely valuable. AITA?

(Fandom: FNAF)

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 7

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Masterlist

"Ferran, is this allowed?"

"Not really" he shrugs. "But you aren't the first girl we are sneaking into the hotel, and won't be the last" he smirks.

"What if they see us?"

"I'll deal with that, don't worry."

"And what if he doesn't want to see me?"

"He will, Val. For the past month he's been looking like shit again, like when they made him play every game under the sun. But you should have seen his face on the bus on our way to the stadium. His smile. That was my Pepi."

"You need to stop calling him that, he doesn't like it."

"I know" Ferran winks. "And this is his room."

"How did you manage to get the key?"

"I can be very charming" he smiles.

"That charm didn't work on Luis Enrique's daughter, did it?" I chuckle.

"I had not missed your witty comments, Val. Anyway, go make yourself comfortable, he'll be here any moment now. And try to fix things before fucking. Or first fuck and then talk. I don't know, whatever works for you."

"Thank you, Ferran" I say, rolling my eyes. 

"My pleasure" he replies, taking my hand and kissing it like he always does before saying goodbye. "See you around, Val."

"Bye" I say, walking into the room. 

Just like his own back home, it is an organized mess. There are shoes on the floor, a towel thrown on a chair, a phone charger hanging from the bed's headboard… And a book on the bedside table. "Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban." 

"You've kept reading" I smile, touching its cover. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"You spend hours traveling and in hotel rooms. Why don't you pick up a book instead of playing FIFA all the damn time?" 

"Because reading is boring."

"Not if you find a genre you enjoy. For example, what movies do you like watching?"

"Anything Marvel" Pedri says, his eyes fixed on the tv.

"Those are comics, you could read them."

"But if I've already watched the movies, what's the point?" 

"Sometimes, if not always, the books are better than the movies."

"Sure. And 5-0. That will be happening in real life very soon" he smirks.

"Militao and Alaba won't allow it" I reply, sticking out my tongue. "But that's not what we were talking about. What other movies do you like?"

"I don't know… Harry Potter?" he shrugs.

"Have you read the books?"

"They are for kids."

"Said the old man" I laugh.

"You know what I mean" he says, trying to tickle me. 

"Pedri, don't" I warn him, moving away from him. "But you've given me an idea."

"Tickling contest followed by sex?"

"No." 

"Then I'm not interested."

"We are gonna have our own movie and book club."

"What?"

"You'll read a book, then we'll watch the movie together, and then we'll discuss which one is better."

"You won't be reading with me?"

"If I have time, I will. I promise."

"Ok…"

"Do we have a deal, then?" I say, offering him my hand.

"We do" he replies, taking it and using it to pull me against him. 

"Pedri!" I laugh while he moves me until I am straddling him.

"Can we now have my tickling contest followed by sex?" he smirks. 

"We can skip the tickling" I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. "But tomorrow we are going to a bookshop and buying you the first Harry Potter book."

"Fine" he sighs. "Can I kiss you now?"

"You can… Pedri Potter" I laugh.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Val?"

"Oh, shit" I say, coming back from my memory, the book falling from my hands. 

"What are you doing here? Who let you in?"

"Ferran" I say, standing up and leaving the book on the small table.

"Ferran, of course" he scoffs. "Was this his idea?"

"Kind of. I didn't want to sneak in, but I needed to talk with you, so" I shrug.

"Talk about what?"

"Us. Me. I want to explain everything to you."

"We can't talk while you are wearing that."

"What?"

"My shirt. I can't focus knowing that my name is on your back."

"Oh, sorry" I say, playing with the hem of the shirt. "I thought you would like it, but I can put on a jacket or something if it bothers you."

"It doesn't bother me, Val. Well, it does, but not in the way you are thinking."

"What?" I ask again, looking at him. 

"It bothers me because you don't know how many times I've pictured you wearing it. How many times I've imagined us fucking while you only have my shirt on. And now here you are" he says, slowly walking towards me. "In my mind you are always wearing the Barça one, but oh well."

"That will never happen" I reply, my voice shaking a bit. 

"I know" he says, getting closer. He's looking at me as if I was his prey, as if any moment now he will jump at me and devour me. And it is turning me on. Big time. 

"Then…" 

"Then we are gonna have to do something about this" he says, now just one step away from me. 

"About what?"

"Me wanting to fuck you."

"Aren't you still mad at me?"

"I am. I'm mad. Disappointed. Sad. Confused. And fucking hard, Val. I want to bend you down on that bed and make you scream of pleasure while I see my name on your back."

"Then do it" I hear myself saying.

"But you came here to talk."

"We can talk later." 

"You'll be too exhausted to talk after I'm done with you."

"Nothing like trying" I say, closing almost all the space between us, my heart feeling like it is about to explode inside my chest.

"Are you sure?" Pedri asks, arching one of those perfect eyebrows of his.

"I am. Are you sure you can do everything you are bragging about?" I tease him, moving until our noses are almost touching. "You kids like talking and then…"

"As if I had ever disappointed you" he laughs. "That was your ex, not me."

"There always is a first time for everything."

"Not with me, and not today. Definitely not today" he says before kissing me.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Morning" I yawn.

"Good morning" Pedri smiles.

"Have I ever told you that I love your smile?"

"You've said that you like it, but I think this is the first time you've said that you love it." 

"Well, I do. I love… fuck" I complain when I move. 

"Sore, uh?"

"Yes."

"I warned you."

"Shut… ouch!" I say when I try to hit him. 

"Do you need me to carry you to the bathroom or something?" he says with a teasing smile.

"I can do it myself, thank you" I reply, slowly moving to face him while trying really hard to not complain again.

"Are you sure you don't need my help?"

"I'm fine, Pedri. I've been this sore before."

"With whom?" he laughs. "I'm sure your ex never did what I can. Or made you feel the way I do."

"He didn't, no. But last year Emma convinced me to go to one of the classes she takes at the gym, and for the next four days I felt like this."

"So you are just out of practice, uh?" he smirks.

"I am, yes. A month of doing nothing, and look at me. I'm getting old" I sigh.

"You aren't old, Val" Pedri laughs. "And I can help with your fitness. Because I'm a professional athlete and all that."

"Of course" I laugh. "Anyway… Is it ok if we have that chat now?"

"Sure" he smiles.

"Ok" I say, taking a deep breath. "I've rehearsed this many times in my head, so let's hope I remember everything."

"There is no rush, take your time" he says, caressing my cheek.

"I have time, my plane doesn't leave until late in the afternoon. But yours?"

"That doesn't matter now, Val. Talk."

"Yes, ok. So, umm… I guess I should start from the beginning, right?"

"For example" he chuckles.

"So… Marc and I have basically known each other our whole lives. We went to the same school, same high school, same university… And I think I always had a crush on him. Like, I can't remember a moment before we started dating where I didn't think he was… perfect. He comes from a really good family, very posh to be honest. And he is charming, intelligent, super nice with everyone, handsome… The man every mother would like for their kid. And when we both were 15, he asked me out. We were in the same group of friends with Silvia and Isabel too, and half the girls in our high school were in love with him. But he chose me. The girl who didn't drink or partied, the one who knew Real Madrid's starting eleven by heart instead of how to do her makeup, the one who didn't dress fancy, the one who wasn't considered one of the hot girls but neither an ugly one. I was just… there. And he saw me."

"Because you have something, Val, I already told you. I still don't know what it is, but… It is there."

"Yeah, well, thank you" I smile, feeling my cheeks getting warm. "Anyway, after he asked me out we started dating, and that made many girls jealous, Isabel the first of them all. Looking at it now I can see that she bullied me for years, but back then I didn't understand what she truly meant with her comments."

"And Marc didn't do anything?"

"No, he didn't. I think he didn't notice either. Or that's what I want to believe" I shrug. "When we went to uni, Isabel was sent abroad, and during those years without her, everything was perfect. I had met new friends, I was loving what I was studying, and Marc and I were better than ever. But then we both finished our degrees, and everything changed." 

"Isabel came back?" 

"Among other things, yes. Even though we had just moved in together, I felt like our relationship wasn't going anywhere. Silvia had just met Pau for example, and I kept looking at them or some of our other friends and then at us, and something was missing. And then I found myself jobless. Marc had been offered a position on the bank where he had done his internship the moment it was over while I had nothing. I didn't know what to do, if I should keep studying or what. I even started having doubts about teaching, wondering if I had wasted my time and money on a career that I didn't truly like, on something that I wasn't made for. And seeing him thriving while I had all that in my head, wasn't helping our relationship."

"Did you ever tell him?"

"I tried, but he always was so busy…"

"And he didn't notice something was off with you?" Pedri asks, putting a lock of hair behind my ear.

"Never."

"What a shitty boyfriend, then."

"Yeah" I chuckle. "Thankfully everything started to change when I met Emma. Silvia had booked us a pottering lesson and she was there all alone, so we asked her to join us and we instantly connected. Back then she was working at an academy teaching extracurricular lessons with kids of different ages and that they were looking for people to cover for someone who had just retired. She asked me if I was interested, I said yes, and I suddenly found myself with a job and feeling alive again. It was as if all my doubts and fears had disappeared, as if I was me again. The only thing stopping me from moving on and enjoying myself again, was Marc."

"So you broke up with him."

"I did."

"How did he take it?"

"Really good. He said that we had made it to a point where we were more like flatmates sharing the same bed than boyfriend and girlfriend."

"But he never bothered to talk about it with you. He sounds like a bit of a coward, doesn't he?"

"He is, yes. After we broke up I moved in with Silvia, but I still wasn't feeling completely like myself. And then, the night at the opera happened."

"The night… I'm lost" Pedri says.

"Remember when I told you about the engagement party, that it was themed as a night at the opera?"

"Oh, yes."

"Well, six months after Marc and I broke up, he and Isabel were going on a date to the opera and sharing their first kiss." 

"Six months?" 

"Yep."

"He didn't waste his time, did he?"

"And neither did Isabel. The moment she found out we had broken up she was all over him. This was her chance and she wasn't gonna let it pass."

"And she didn't" he laughs.

"She did not, no. I was so angry when I found out. The person I had shared my life with for a decade was now dating the woman who had bullied me for years. And according to most of our friends, I didn't have the right to feel like that because I had been the one who had broken up with him."

"What?"

"Yeah" I sigh. "Anyway, a couple of years passed, I got used to them, dated some guys here and there and started to work at my current school, but I still couldn't let go of that anger, I couldn't close that chapter of my life. Then they announced their engagement, and I met you."

"And I made you forget."

"Exactly" I say, moving closer and caressing his cheek. "You were exactly what I needed to finally leave them in the past, to move on, to fully enjoy this new life I had started after breaking up with Marc. You made me forget about them and my anger, but also made me stop thinking that I was a failure because I had wasted the best years of my life with a man who didn't deserve me or because I wasn't getting married and having kids like everyone else. You were the key that closed that door, but also the one who allowed me to completely open the one of my new life. The life I wanted, one that was mine and no one else's."

"Then why didn't you tell me about Marc? Why didn't you tell me all this?"

"Because I was afraid, Pedri. Afraid of losing you because you are still young and knowing all this about me could scare you and make you run away. Afraid of opening up to someone again after everything I went through. Afraid because maybe telling you could open that door again and make me realize that I had been lying to myself, that he isn't in the past."

"And is he?" he says, wiping away a tear.

"He is. He definitely is, now I know it, 100%."

"Good. Because Val…" Pedri says, cupping my face and making me look him in the eyes. "I have feelings for you. I'm not sure about what they are exactly, at least not yet. I have never felt like this with any other girl I've been with, you know? But I do know that I want to be with you. And I want you to be able to trust me, to open up to me, to tell me everything and anything that worries you. I'm here for you, Valeria. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you" I smile between sobs. "But I like it better when you call me Val."

"What?"

"Marc always called me Valeria. Always. And I found it so annoying��� Not even my mum calls me like that, only when she's angry with me."

"Ok" he laughs. "Then I will only call you Valeria when I'm angry with you."

"And during sex."

"What?" Pedri laughs again. "Is that some kink or something?"

"When you moan my name it turns me on" I smirk.

"Interesting" he smiles.

"Are we ok, then? Have we made up?"

"We have." 

"Thank God" I sigh.

"That much did you miss me?" 

"I did, yes. You can ask Silvia and Emma if you don't believe me. And before you say it… I missed everything about you. Not just the physical part."

"One would start to think that you've caught feelings, Miss Val" he says with a teasing smile.

"And one may not be wrong. But step by step, ok?"

"Step by step" he says before kissing me.

[autistic-crypt1d]

Wraith vs Goa'uld

Ok so these are basically the 2 biggest enemies in Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis. We've seen both of these enemies go up against the replicators and honestly they get their asses handed to them REPEATEDLY. I mean the only way the Wraith survived them was by turning off the directive sending them at them. We already know who'd win there, but I'm curious about who'd win between the Wraith and the Goa'uld. This is what I've theorized while being in season 1 of SGA rewatch (Edit: I finished it now, wrote this a while ago) and like a year since my last SG-1 rewatch so if I forget stuff, that's why.

Firepower:

The Goa'uld have it here I think. I mean, they've got staff weapons which kill vs the stun guns wraith have. Wraith ships are organic and quite sensitive when it comes to traveling fast due to the risk of ripping the hull in two. Even the zat gun, their version of a stun gun, can still kill, not to mention their personal shields (not that that'd stop a wraith from feeding on them, but from the blasts yes). The Wraith are too focused on preserving the life of their victims in order to feed to win this potion in my opinion.

Numbers:

This is a hard one to me to be honest. The Goa'uld have the Jaffa with them (if we're talking about their prime at least), and the Goa'uld themselves, both of which have long life spans and healing capabilities. Neither of these come even close to the Wraiths abilities though (those mf basically have to be nuked in order to die if they've eaten recently). I honestly think the Wraith might have the numbers on this though given the sheer scale we see in SGA, plus they're harder to kill.

Battle tactics:

The Goa'uld really take a hit here honestly. Both species are incredibly cocky but the Wraith are smart. The Goa'uld genuinely believe they're gods who could never be defeated and that's what gets them wiped out in the end. The Wraith's confidence comes from their victories, from the fact that they beat the ancient's asses so hard the few survivors ran to another galaxy to get away from them. They're powerful, smart, hard to kill, and they know they have the numbers on any other thing in the pegasus galaxy who could rival them technologically. Strategically, they whoop the Goa'uld.

Technology:

The wraith 1000%. The Goa'uld have tech, yeah, but they stole like all of it. The wraith did it all, were they inspired by the ancients? Probably, but they made their shit. They grew ships for fucks sake! They figured out ancient tech, they could figure out any tech you could possibly throw at them and we see that repeatedly. They do not fuck around, Goa'uld don't have scientists, not on their level anyway. I mean, do you see the Goa'uld hacking the replicators? No, those dudes just died in the face of them.

Conclusion:

Honestly I think the Goa'uld would shit themselves in the face of the Wraith. The Goa'uld need to be feared to stay in power but the Wraith are fear. They are the thing in the dark. They might not have the fire power the snake dudes have but I'm confident they would whoop them. I do wonder what tf would happen if a Goa'uld got a Wraith as a host. THAT is horrifying to think about, I mean, it would not be wrong in having the cockiness they do at that point tbh.

Anyway, I'd love to hear your thought on the matter, agreeing or disagreeing!

[darthpastry]

Incorrect Quotes of the Kingdom Pt. 2

Link: I'm never donating blood again. The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another! ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean... do you want it or not?

——————

Revali: Any idiot would know that.

Link: I knew that!

Revali: See?

——————

Revali: Could you be any more annoying?

Link: Definitely.

——————

Purah: Ew, what kind of tea is this?

Link *sipping tea cup with pinky in the air*: I boiled Gatorade.

——————

Link: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

——————

Tulin: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?

Riju: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

——————

Zelda: What are you two arguing about this time?

Purah: They're always using common phrases incorrectly!

Link: Cry me a table.

——————

Link: Fight me!

Ganondorf: Ha, look at your size! What are you gonna do, kick my ankle?

*Later*

Ghost Sonia: Why is Ganondorf crying?

Ghost Rauru: Link kicked them really hard in the ankle.

——————

Zelda: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avocados get six.

Link *coming back from the store with six cartons of milk*: They had avacados!

——————

Link: Rauru, I screwed up big time.

Rauru: Link, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

——————

Link:  *About to do something incredibly stupid*

The sages: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

——————

Sonia:  I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled.

——————

Purah: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it.

Link: ... I was hungry.

——————

Sonia: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of afraid of Link...

Rauru: As you should be.

Sonia: No, for real. They're kind of-

Rauru: As. You. Should. Be.

——————

Ganondorf: Life is like Link. It's short.

——————

Link: Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Yunobo: I think you mean cards.

Tulin: He did not.

Link *pulling out knives*: I did not.

——————

Link: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math.

——————

Link:  Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."

——————

Purah: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk?

Tulin: The final boss.

Riju: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right?

Link: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!

——————

Link: Yum, thanks!

Ganondorf *puts more tape over Link's mouth*: I said, stop eating it.

——————

Purah: Didn't you die?!

Link: That was weeks ago. Things change.

——————

Purah: Wake me up...

Tulin: Before ya go go

Zelda: When September ends

Link: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

——————

Sidon: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Link: That would suck because you can't microwave metal.

Riju: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

——————

Ganondorf: I've been expecting you, Link.

Link: How did you do that without turning around?

Ganondorf:  Let's just say the first few people I did that to were not you.

[six-eyed-samurai]

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This relationship should not be condoned and was only written for entertainment purposes. Dark content like murder, gaslighting, cutting up and cannibalism is in here, so don't read if it makes you uncomfortable.

Obviously, he's obsessing over his one and only!

I put a lil tracker on your phone, just to make sure you’re all alone - and I crept into your room, lying next to you, saying I love every part of you, blood and skin and bone.

Walking down the corridor casually and oh so ordinarily he pretends to trip and makes you fall down with him, slipping a tiny little tracker into your pocket, hidden amongst overbearing, obscure, obsequious apologies and a flash of that open smile for the cherry on top. Oblivious little you didn’t even feel the extra weight in your jacket, occupied with trying to hide your giggles.

Anyone who might try and catch your love, sweetheart, might not survive for long, because I've got a knife and a big crush on you, you, you!

He expresses concern over the ogling boys and so called friends who hadn't shown up to school while throwing away the offending bottle of poison he had dripped into their food, pleasing him with the appeased look on your face and twisting his heart at the same time - how dare your concern be given those odious others? Very well, soon the obstacles will have to obey his orders and leave you if they value their organs!

Lies, cheats, fools...how many of them could possible be at school? Backstabbed by friends who haven't read the rules on how to survive without incurring terrible consequences...well, sinners who stained your name had to repent, and repent they will.

Of course he’s heard those onerous, opprobrious snakes of gossip girls oppugn your very Olympian-god worthy self and ostracized you out of their friend groups, essentially abandoning you, so what sort of knight would he be if he didn’t slay the dragons for his princess? He stalked their social media, then sabotaged every project, homework, relationship, posts, family ties and things they've done in their oppugnant existence that he could lay his hands on. How dare they cause you such ordeals.

You're my muse in every poem that I write, every song that I sing, every romance story you star - it's all just to be with you, don't you see? Or rather, dream? 

He hopes nobody will ever check under his desk, because he’s got a whole outrageous file dedicated to papers upon papers of crossed out, failed love letters, poems that could barely do your open-hearted, optimistic presence and scribbled fantasies he's determined to have with you one day...even if you are going to have to be unconscious, so be it! You’re never going to remember it anyway in the end, and he’s not afraid to admit that’s the part that drives him mad. 

Aren't I your friend, show you anything you want and need once you get to know me? Are they your friends, wreck your life, make you cry, laugh behind your back?

But you know what drives him even more insane? Over everyone who can freely talk to you, have your obligation to touch and hold hands and hug, LOOK AT YOU AS IF THEY COULD EVER OWN YOU - aaaah, why can't he do that? WHY CAN'T HE BE THE ONLY ONE TO DO THAT? It's alright, it's fine, you can't talk without a tongue! Overzealous they may call him and overprotective he might be, but he’ll do anything for a love just as obsessive from you. 

Sure, I know it hurts honey but you've got to grin and bear it, just a little slice, 'cause when it's all done you and I can never leave.

Can you really blame him? He just desperately wants to hear you promise you'll be with him forever and ever and ever, and what better way to do that than to extract a blood oath? Oops, guess he cut off your hand! It's fine, now you'll have to depend on him even more - he swears he'll be good to you, oh so good! Anything you want and need will be offered!

I'm the better alter ego when I'm down on my knees for you, so I'll take a hammer to their heads, but to her I just reek of love, so if I go down it's only because it's over!

He’s known for being calm and cool and...alright, and a crazy killer too who has never been more triggered than when he sees you being the target of horny comments by his traitorous pals. They'll find out just how strong he really is soon enough! Funny way of answering their questions, huh?

Gore is what I carve up and what I'll serve in gourmet, and of course my gorgeous, you can join the soiree.

His friends constantly ask him what's in his secret meat soup recipe - pork? Chicken? Seafood? - as they talk about their missing friend at the same time...oh, idiots that they were. He slyly glances at you - ah, thank the stars for you too had no idea of where he was. His suggestion of “in a better place now” was widely accepted, although he doubted that being digested by stomach acid applied. 

The world says I'm depraved, but your love's just what I crave, and I know you feel it as well, so they can all go burn and rot and die in hell. 

He can't take it if anyone says otherwise about the both of your love or disagree with your compliments, no, no, no! Duct tape won't work, so he'll break their jaws! You're his one and only, only he can break and take and snap you, the same way only he can be affectionate and shower his only true love with worship!

Now tell me that you love me or everything blows, you have to reciprocate, you have to love me! I'll burn this fxxking house down and hide them all six feet underground, only for you, you know? It can't be all for nothing!

He threatens to jump off the balcony if you don't return his crazed affections, especially when you're pressed against the wall and strangled by his hands - he’s done all this for you and for the “us”, atrocious crimes and horrendous killing…but he honestly doesn’t want to force a confession out of you, so why won’t you be an obedient little darling?

YANDERE ALPHABET MASTERLIST

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

I don't know if you're still doing the ask game, but how about 1, 22, and 25? For Jason, and Steph too if you're up for it :D

--Cologona

Because I could still find it: yes! Still doing this ask game :3 Sorry it took so long to answer!

1) Why do you like or dislike this character?

I spent like seventy years attempting to find the post with this meme on it so I could give credit lmao, but I could not for the life of me, so uh, just know that I'm remaking this thing from memory I guess???

Jason is the bee in my bonnet, the rock in my shoe, and I am chewing on him forever and ever - meanwhile I will enjoy pretty much any comic about Steph simply because I love watching her do her thing :3

But to go into more detail I really enjoy Steph's narration style and the way she navigates the world. She feels very refreshingly street level and hopeful. Also as someone who grew up as the only "girl" (trans man but egg) in my martial arts class which was taught by a detective with a very drill sargent/tough-love approach to teaching and got an extra helping of PTSD as a result... watching her struggle, get dismissed bc of her gender, and go on to become a great hero despite Batman and his bullshit feels really fucking good. Def love Batgirl 2009

Jason on the other hand is just so deliciously messy. He's hurt a lot of people, but at the same time his anger is super justified! He's intimately familiar with violence in a way that I think makes him unable to conceptualize trust and gauge what an 'appropriate' response is. There's been several times where he's expressed the idea that serious violence by him against others is just normal and forgivable and not a big deal. There's something so compelling to me about that bc I think he really does see it that way, and it comes from a place of him being extremely used to receiving violence and being expected to forgive and not hold it against them. That wall of text in the meme picture is a tiny fraction of one of my essays on him. He's got so many fascinating layers and I love peeling him apart and putting him back together like a robot performing surgery on a grape.

Sometime after I finish Chained, I really want to write Four and Twenty Blackbirds, which is a fic concept I've had for ages now that puts them together in a lesbian/gay man queer relationship. The premise is that somehow or other Steph comes back to Gotham secretly/early and Jason is the first one to find her and they end up building a weird organized crime/community support organization called The Blackbirds.

Not sure on the timeline. Maybe it'll start before Under the Red Hood? Maybe after a modified Hush plotline?? In any case: Jason offers to preform High Vengeance against Black Mask either for or with her. She does not want him killed! She would feel like that went completely against everything she died for. However, she does want that fucker taken down, and is touched that Jason clearly genuinely cares. Also I'm going to have Jason assume without question that she is fully competent and his equal. Unlike every other vigilante in town, she will never have to prove herself to him. So anyways she tells him that yeah, she wants her revenge, but it's gonna happen her way, and the plot moves on from there, as together they destroy and co-opt Black Mask's organization and establish a territory for themselves :3

22) If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

Unless given a reading suggestion by someone else, I exclusively read JayTim fanfiction, which heavily skews what I look for and see in fic. I'm also pretty damned picky lol I write much more fic than I read these days

Even the most basic, stripped down version of Stephanie's core concepts and background ought to be enough to conclude that she would have very complex feelings about both Jason and Tim and them dating each other. She had a supervillain father and a character arc about learning to value the lives of even her worst enemies. Now her ex is dating a guy who had a henchman father and the same character arc in reverse, a guy who specifically targeted her killer in order to get back at the mentor who bears some responsibility for both her death and his own. They are so uniquely poised to understand each other from across this fascinating chasm, both in terms of approaches to vigilantism and dating Tim. You could not ask for a more fertile storytelling ground, regardless of if you want her to be supportive or not.

So yeah, for Stephanie I like it when she has a personality outside of cheerleading Tim while being vaguely sweet and quirky.

The bar is in Hell here folks, and out of the hundreds of fanfics I've read I've only ever seen it cleared twice. And that's only if we include my own goddamned writing. This goes beyond normal fandom simplification, especially when you factor in that Cass, famously against all killing Cass, gets similarly denuded of all internal motives and qualities in favor of being (sometimes literally) wordlessly supportive for no apparent reason, while in those same fics the male characters get to have opinions and internal viewpoints. JayTim nation, I am praying for us to learn how to write women, truly.

Now on to Jason!

I think of Jason as someone who is intense in every facet of himself. He can be cruel and mistrustful or tender and romantic, but no matter what he is I want him to be a little unhinged with it, a little too deep, a little too incapable of not giving a fuck. I want this man lost in the sauce, whatever that sauce may be.

I dislike him being overly apologetic, which practically translates to me disliking most fics in which he is apologetic at all lol I do think he would come to regret some of his actions, but I tend to think those would be different actions than the ones he's usually depicted apologizing for. For instance, I can absolutely see him apologizing to a victim of the Joker for not killing him when he got the chance, but I don't really think he'd have the framework to consider his fights with Tim to have been all that far out of line.

25) What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Ohhhhhhh boy that was fuckin ages ago??? I'm not honestly sure I remember, though I do know that I read JayTim fanfics before anything else that involved these characters, so it had to have been based on that.

...Gah, I don't even remember how I found this ship lol! I mean I started with Boostle?? Maybe JayTim was in the background somewhere of one of those fics? idk

I suppose my first impressions were that Jason was a Big Mood deeply traumatized and lashing out bc of that, and Stephanie was gir waffles XD random rawr means I love you in dinosaur.

Anyhow, thank you very much for the ask @cologona! As per usual with these things I hope it was a fun read and you have a good day and all that jazz :3

[genork-the-fandork]

Human

Word Count: 775 Prompt: Life & Death Featured Characters: Halara Nightmare, Yakou Furio (brief) A/N: So, Halara might be the love of my life. I've definitely said that to someone about Kirigiri and Chiaki and Rantaro, and I mean it for all three, I assure you. Halara is just so awesome, it's such a shame we don't get to see more of them post their feature in Chapter 1. I don't know what it is about Kodaka's badass characters, man. Plus, canonically nonbinary? Literal monarch shit. This drabble is a reference to their line about only trusting the dead, and in case it wasn't clear, I'm using they/them pronouns for Halara! And yes, I intend to have Halara be the "face" of my content this week! :3 Note: I know Halara is allergic to cats, but pretend they found a way to not touch this one. You'll see what I mean if you read! @raincodeweek

Trigger Warning: Animal death & implied cruelty.

Halara Nightmare despised all humans, viewed them all as worthless. Even the World Detective Organization could not assuage the filth they saw in every human's countenance. Humans were good for one thing, and one thing only: payment. Though they had every confidence in their skills, they knew it was worth nothing unless there was money behind it. And Halara was never lacking for it, thanks to the wealth offered for services rendered. Quite amusing, too, for some of the cases took far less time than the client intended.

Kanai Ward was no exception to this rule they had meticulously crafted over the years. The Chief was amusing, as were the rest of the detectives sent by the WDO. That did not mean Halara liked them. If they could help it, they wouldn't have to spend too long in this forsaken city. It reeked of something not quite like death, which was the only thing Halara truly respected in this world.

To a point, that is.

The stray cat looked as if she had seen better days, soaking wet and shivering. Halara crouched in such a way that they were both sheltered from the unending rain. Although the city was wet, the rain at least remained a steady pour, not nearly enough to soak one through to the bone if amply protected. The cat relished this lack of rain, shuffling closer. A slight purr rose from its chest, and Halara felt a rare genuine smile crawl up their face. They reached out, tempted to wrap the cat into their raincoat and spirit the poor feline away.

Unfortunately, their time was not ample, and they always finished a job. Halara sighed, finding a sturdy box to shepherd the cat into. "Call my name, and I will come to your aid."

Tilting its head, the cat mewed. Halara nodded. "Exactly like that."

It was almost a shame to leave the cat behind, for the assignment Chief Yakou had given them for the day was elementary, child's play. Halara almost laughed at the sour look on the client's face as they handed over the payment. Slipping the money into their raincoat, they resolved to find the cat again, perhaps slip it into the Sun and Moon Hotel. Desuhiko and Fubuki were unlikely able to keep a secret, but the way they often talked, it wasn't as if anyone would believe Halara had a secret cat.

But when Halara returned to where the cat had been, they found only death. A fierce anger overtook them at the sight of the broken corpse before her, a fierce desire to find whoever had done this and do to them what they had done to such an innocent animal. This. This was why Halara despised all humans. Their cruelty and malice truly knew no bounds. Though not all humans were to be held accountable for this specific crime, they all had the capability. In some strange way, all were culpable in this crime.

Humans were vile, and nothing would ever change that for Halara.

~ ~ ~

Yakou found them by the riverbank, cradling the box in which they had placed the cat. He didn't say it, and they didn't offer an explanation. Halara reached down as far as their arms could reach, lightly depositing the box on the water. As they expected, the box soaked through, and with its added weight, began to sink into the water. If they could remove the pollution they had heard was clogging this water, they would fix it. But for now, it was a fitting place. Still within the city of its birth, but far enough from human interference.

"Come on inside," Yakou finally said. "I promise Yuma didn't cook this time."

"In a minute." Halara rolled their candy around with their tongue. It was not unlike Yakou's cigarette, though at least the candy was not poisoning them quite as quickly as the nicotine. They expected the Chief's footsteps to recede, to leave them to their thoughts, but instead, he crouched beside them, a respectable distance away. Halara tensed nonetheless, as they always did in close quarters.

There was the unmistakable feeling that Yakou was about to say something, and finally, he did: "I'm sorry."

Halara closed their eyes. "I don't need my Forte to tell me it was cruelty. This is why I only trust the dead."

"Even when the dead are just as human as I am?"

"Even then."

He chuckled and stood. Now his footsteps receded, but Halara still made out his parting words: "So you do have a heart."

Of course I have a heart. Halara couldn't fight the grin. I'm all too human myself.

[spirit-of-a-kiger]

Am I the only one who hates Jax?

Don't get me wrong, people are absolutely allowed to like him! Hell, I even fully understand why they do; it's really just an objective fact that that buck is attractive and was doomed to become a Tumblr sexyman from the start.

That being said, just how universal that is... makes me feel kind of alone? And I really need to vent.

(Jax lovers, if you're reading this, you probably should step away at this point. And I don't mean that in a judgmental way, not even slightly. Just... for both of our sakes. I'm very unabashed in this post.)

I keep seeing people try to find some goodness in him. And that's fine! They're allowed to speculate! But honestly, like 95% of points I've seen for this argument are a pretty big stretch. I get tempted to reply as such, but I resist it because I know I would end up snapping at them if I did, and snapping at someone over a cartoon is never okay.

I hate Jax. I hate him so, so much. I genuinely, truly hope that he abstracts. The sooner, the better. Just get him out of the picture.

I don't even care about his backstory or trauma or whatever. I really think that if they try to make me feel sorry for him at this point, my response is just gonna be "'k".

It doesn't help that he has so much screentime. It makes sense if you think about it, as he is the creator's favorite character, but it really doesn't help my opinion of him.

Everything Jax does pisses me off. Literally every waking moment, he hurts somebody for absolutely no reason. And no one can stop him. He even continues to mess with Zooble - you know, the person who literally strangled him the last time he was a butt to them.

I genuinely believe that among all the other issues that would come from being trapped in the Digital Circus, being stuck with Jax every day for the rest of your life is at least in the top 3 worst. I honestly can't even imagine how horrible that would be. Like, if it were me, I would try my darnedest to shred him to pieces every time he so much as looked at me funny, but again, Zooble tried that, and all it did was repel him temporarily. Even Ragatha has pretty much given up at this point, not bothering to stick up for Gangle when Jax was bullying her while she was driving because Ragatha knew (probably from experience) that there was nothing that could be done about it.

So, yeah. This isn't entirely organized, but it's not entirely disorganized, either. I just needed to get it out of my system. It's not as good as talking, I'm finding, but it's better to do it through text than not at all. I'm not sure if I got 100% of it out, so I'll just edit or reblog or something if something new comes to mind.

[milf-lover42]

I've been thinking about Georgina Orwell an alarming amount this past week but I think I've exhausted all the good fan content out there 💔, tumblr posts, fanfics, hell even whatever pinterest gave me has run dry. I'm sad, I'm contentless, and I'm shamefully in love with Georgina Orwell.

That was longer than I thought itd be but basically the point is that if you have any advice for where to look next then I will take it, and if not then I am humbly asking you for any headcanons or anything you have 🙏

THANK YOUUU SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG!! YOU HAVE WONDERFUL TASTE IN WOMEN!!!

Dear anon I am so so unbelievably sorry for the time it has taken to get to you. I, an Esmé kinner, and my partner, a Georgina kinner, think about this ask every day and have been dying to answer you. Life has just been all over the place.

I would say that these headcanons are just that, and if you disagree then that’s fine, but truthfully I think of what we have come up with over the years as the real and actual truth and canon of the series. With that in mind! Here you go, I hope you enjoy!

Lore headcanons

First and foremost!

No matter the version, book, show, or continuation of the movie that never happened… Georgina survived her “death” at the Mill. In show canon, obviously there’s just an escape chute in the furnace, easy peasy, everyone has said this.

In book canon… yeah okay sure she tripped and was sawed in half at the mill. However, that woman has surely seen an Alice Cooper concert and knows how to fake a gory death live. She probably taught him how to do it to be honest.

So. She lives through Miserable Mill no matter the version. That woman is unkillable.

Georgina’s family is Old VFD. Like the Orwells were founding members type shit. Maybe it was her parents, maybe her grandparents or further, but either way, she was raised knowing everything. She was one of few members capable of learning about VFD and its inner workings from her own family - long before they died. She is the last keeper of every secret. She knows more things about the history of the organization than most of the sugarbowl gen can even begin to piece together. If VFD had nuclear weapons, Georgina Orwell would be the only one left who knew the codes, and that includes the Sinister Duo. Because of this, she’s very disconnected from the other members that we know of because they just don’t know about the truly dark information that VFD has kept secret from itself. She is technically still VFD, and in her earlier life was a dedicated member in some capacity, but she has no strong allegiance to it aside from her secret keeping (though that is more familial allegiance) when the SBG undergoes their schism.

Characteristic headcanons

BOTH of her knees are bad, that’s why she carries a cane. She doesn’t always need it (see: how often she simply holds it instead of actually placing it on the ground in the show), the pain flares up at different intervals and usually only in one leg at a time, but she always carries one A) because it is her sword and B) because that way no one can ever tell if it’s a good or bad day for her as far as knee pain goes.

She takes her coffee with no creamer, but does use sugar. It just varies in quantity per day. NEVER creamer or milk. Also is totally someone that’s a “don’t talk to me before my morning coffee” person. She doesn’t ever say this, she doesn’t have a nonsense mug that says it. However, if you try to speak to her before her coffee she will simply ignore you. She doesn’t get mad or glare or anything. She just… does not care until she’s had coffee. So it’s best to just wait because you won’t get anything out of her until then.

Tea she takes plain, nothing in it, no milk, no sugar, no lemon, nothing. Just. Tea. She isn’t a tea snob by any means, she will drink any tea she is given. If it’s bad tea she’ll just think that it wasn’t great, could be improved, but will take NO steps to improve it herself. She doesn’t even look at what type she is buying and she has no favorites. She likes tea enough to buy and make it but she literally does not care enough to select one. She just picks one at random every single time. She has had some truly horrible teas in her time without complaining or changing her habits once.

If you ask her what matcha is she will have NO idea what the fuck you are talking about.

Thank you so much for the ask, I love talking about my wife. I have so many more headcanons but pretty much all of them revolve around the idea that she and Esmé are together pre and post series (I am writing a fic slowly but surely to better explain this dynamic) and that they adopt Carmelita after the hotel. In the case that you are not an Eswell shipper I am keeping them to myself for the time being, but should you want that specific Georgina content I am more than happy to oblige! Just shoot me another ask and I will begin to compile it for you.

[mists-reading-nook]

[Letter Event!]

{Game and Cult AU! Creator's friend on discord makes a Mystery Flesh Pit Au which is it's own warning! Small caps warning too in my own ramblings after this ficlet}

{This blew up into a whole AU ahdgdyej, and to think I intended this to be shorter RIP}

-------------

(Through diligent work, day and night, Acolytes Faruzan and Layla can now boast that they've broken a wall between them and the Creator!

(And what's this? Something called Discord where the Creator seems to converse with others! Is that a fellow God they chat with?

(The news quickly spreads as do the messages the two Gods shared between one another. It seems somebody leaked the Divine Conversation for the world to see. It's unfair for knowledge of the Beloved Creator to be kept secret as after all! So what if Faruzan and Layla think otherwise?

(But it doesn't inspire jubilee or elation. The messages the deities speak to one another bring a fearful awe amongst the people.)

~*~☁️☁️☁️~*~

[Friend] I just realized that I've been raving about making a MFP!GI AU without you even knowing what the fuck MFP is 😭😭😭

[Friend] Anyways here's a video that tells you pretty much everything you need to know

[Friend] Mystery Flesh Pit National Park | Wendigoon

[Me] just finished the video and that is the most horrifying experience ever and i never want to go through it again

[Me] what are your aus

[Friend] Basically Teyvat is worse of. Why? Well Celestia is the same as always but it's the Archons—called Underworlds here—that are different. They aren't gods, heck Celestia detests them because they're Superorganisms.

[Friend] Because of the sheer fucking scale of these fleshscapes, each Nation has religions related to their own super organism. Khaenri'ah had it's own, which is also large enough to be underneath the whole of Teyvat called the Abyss, but prior to the Cataclysm, religion dies down plenty amongst Khaen's Government and starts to view the Abyss through a more scientific lense, a creature instead of a god, hence why Khaen is called Godless. Celestia didn't like the Abyss not being revered and being questioned.

[Friend] Anyways, despite the fact that whole religions are made around these flesh pits, the Seven couldn't give less of a crap about the people. They barely even notice them, they just breathe and eat and do normal living creature stuff. Yes, they could walk around, be worshipped like deities, but that'd be too much energy wasted and they're already given more than enough sacrifices or meals to be sustained in sleep.

[Friend] enough so that they may not even need to wake up to feast (which worshipers would interpret as their Gods being displeased, but they're just hungry and don't care about you) so they stay where they are.

[Friend] They're still as intelligent as they are in canon but only want to do the bare minimum to live for energy conservation)

[Friend] Anyways, no Gnoses. Instead the Seven Underworlds are imbued with their respective elements. Buer is full of plant life. Barbatos always releases howling winds from his mouth and is full of even more winds. Hydro is underwater and produce water itself, you get the idea.

[Friend] While Celestia hands out visions, holding the element of your nation's Underworld grants the most prestige.

[Friend] Why? It helps you navigate the Seven.

[Friend] example: Jean, with her Anemo vision, can resonate with Barbatos and get a feel for how to navigate him, get a bigger picture on the grand scale of things. The more skilled you are with a vision, the clearer that picture is. You can also get an idea of what the Underworld is feeling.

[Friend] heck, people run expeditions. During the rare moments the superorganisms open their mouths, people with resonating visions join parties that explore their Underworlds, and gather resources, from the native animals to bodily fluids to mining the fleshscapes themselves. Resonator's are essential to these teams!

[Friend] It varies from nation to nation and person to person what is and isn't okay to take from their gods. The spoils are seen as blessings and gifts.

[Friend] also resonance isn't all that good, if you go too deep into the connection with the Underworld, it's MIND, you risk being put into a trance of some sort, where the superorganisms compels you to stray from your team, go in deeper, and become a permanent part of the immune system, killing of anything from outside.

[Friend] So the Resonator holds prestige but someone always keeps an eye on them, lest they be lost forever.

[Friend] Why does Celestia keep the Seven and Abyss around? It keeps humanity busy, everyone is busy with pleasing these superorganisms, and thus do not have the time to rebel against Celestia or anything.

[Friend] also I decided just now that the flesh pits were once known as the Eight but after the Cataclysm it became the Seven with knowledge of the Abyss being forgotten over time, that's going to be a big fuck up on Celestia's part.

[Friend] anyways, amalgamations. Celestia killed off most of Khaenri'ah by destroying the physical area and pushed survivors into the Abyss. Trapped, most people died off to the dangers, others became amalgamations that take the place of abyss mages, hilichurls, etc. They're killed and used for resources in the Abyss and outside. It's seen as mercy killing given how much pain they're in, or die with their unstable bodies finally breaking.

[Friend] A lucky few people managed to survive the Abyss without being turned into amalgamations. That or they're amalgamations who aren't constantly in agony as their new bodies work perfectly fine by pure luck.

[Friend] Examples include Kaeya and his family who are still wholly humans. Dainsleif may look human but he's an amalgamation who won the lottery and became immortal. Or lost it depending on your viewpoint of immortality.

[Friend] when Tartaglia fell into the Abyss, he was forced to become an Amalgamation to survive. Think Foul Legacy with more body horror and permanent. He's still completely sane with his love for battle but his shitty parents kick him out due to his state and lied to his siblings about a terrible monster that killed big brother Ajax and tried to trick the family. The Fatui is quicker to pick him up here.

[Friend] Sidenote, on the EXTREMELY rare occasion that someone becomes an amalgamation who is perfectly fine—like they don't feel any pain with their body and it doesn't collapse in on itself— they're seen as blessed by whatever Underworld they got transformed in. They also get fused w/ their element if they were an allogene w/ their vision on hand during the amalgamation process.

[Friend] During the Cataclysm, all Underworlds except for Morax and Barbatos died thanks to the Abyss thrashing around, causing catastrophic earthquakes throughout Teyvat with the others caught in the crossfire. Celestia was real violent with shoving Khaenri'ah's people into the Abyss.

[Friend] Mondstadt and Liyue were fucked, sure, but the other nations with dead gods WITHERED for a good while. These nations were built around superorganisms which were now giant, rotting corpses. The ecosystem of Teyvat was fucked for a good while. Then came the new superorganisms that ate the remains of the dead Underworlds and took their place as the new gods for Teyvat.

[Friend] 500 years later Teyvat is still worse off than before the Cataclysm but it's very close to a full recovery.

[Friend] When it comes to groups like Tenryou Commission or the Fatui, they believe they're carrying out the will of their Underworlds, be it the Vision Hunt Decree or rebelling against Celestia. They believe their Gods want them to do this.

[Friend] Except the Underworlds don't want anything except to survive, to breathe, eat when hungry and sleep. They're ultimately uninvolved with human matters. (Another reason why Celestia doesn't exterminate them)

[Friend] I don't know why people think they hear the will of their Underworlds though. Anyways, this Teyvat is not a crueler world necessarily, but a more uncaring one, that sees humans are irrelevant, not worth a thought. The Underworlds don't want to live as gods or people with agendas. The Underworlds wants to continue to survive another day and keep on existing. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Friend] That's all I got but I'll keep you updated while I create.

[Friend] nvm nvm nvm I got more, all the animal hybrid people like the Adepti or Onis or ANYBODY with non-human traits are either survivors of the amalgamation process or descended from survivors.

[Me] Damn. Neat 👍

~*~☁️☁️☁️~*~

(When Layla and Faruzan got their hands on this "video" attached to the conversation? Only a select few, high standing individuals were permitted to view it's contents in a meeting.)

(How horrible, to grapple with the understanding there exists a version of Teyvat, that is apathetic to the people, where blessing are made up, and you can't even begin to understand the horrors your God speaks of.)

--------------------

{OR: The Creator and their friend ~traumatizes~ Teyvat on accident. They don't even know Genshin Impact is self aware}

{I cannot help but wonder what the national and individual reactions to the conversation would be. They prolly dunno what AU stands for but they would still grasp that the Creator's friend CREATED ANOTHER Teyvat worse off than theirs. And their OWN CREATOR THOUGH IT WAS NEAT????}

{As for reactions to the Mystery Flesh Pit Video??? 👀👀👀👀👀}

{Wait who would be present for the meeting?}

{Also to clarify on the Mystery Flesh Pit National Park | Wendigoon part, when the conversation was leaked to Teyvat, Faruzana and Layla only knew the video title and author, they couldn't watch or listen to it so people can only guess the context, giving even LESS perspective on the Friend's ramblings. Maybe people think it's a legitimate documentary on a real location? I mean they certainly think the Genshin Impact Flesh Pit Au is real.}

{After the leaks, security became tighter and the duo managed to gain access to the whole video. During a secure meeting with only a select group of people present, they watch the ENITRE video and take all the notes they can}

{Btw do not feel pressured to watch the whole video for this ask, you don't need to if you cannot or don't want to.}

Holy shit??? That's genuinely such a cool Au I'm genuinely obsessed. Idk what the flesh pit is,but I'm slightly scared to watch the video...

(More under cut)

As for who's present for the meeting,it's mostly government figures.

For Mondstat: Jean,Venti,Diluc (as from what I know, dawn winery is a rlly big money maker,and plus Diluc has that whole "darknight hero" thing)

For Liyue: Ningguang,Zhongli,Adeptus Xiao (and Yanfei,and Ganyu,as they are also adepti)

For Inazuma: The Raiden Shogun, BOTH Kamisato siblings,Yae Miko

For Sumeru: Nahida, Alhaitham

And for the nation's that haven't been released yet,it's mostly the same. Snezhnaya I'm not sure about attendance,however,some harbingers would be there as well as the cryo archon

Now,the reaction is mostly one of fear and respect. They consider this fellow God of yours a God of chaos,one that you are apparently good friends with. They gain a new respect for you as a God,and many holy texts are updated to include tales of your friend.

Honestly,many in attendance don't come out the same.

"AU" is now a more holy term,as it was used by you and your friend a bunch. Dispite not knowing what it means,many religious scholars consider it to be a term for different worlds the celestial Gods create.

Honestly this entire thing is highly interesting to me,and this Au is something I'd love to hear more about,as well as dive into how it would tie into sagau. This also got me thinking of how different AUs would tie into sagau,how certain characters would react to popular AUs like 5wirl.