#if you can even tell what’s going on I mean
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I'd like to tell you all a story about my grandmother.
My grandparents raised their children, four girls (one of them my mother), to be fighters. My aunts marched in Washington for women's rights with babies strapped to their chests and like to joke that all of the grandchildren who came from that line (including myself) were born with picket signs in their hands.
But it started with my grandparents. They fought hard for what they believed in. They marched against Vietnam. They marched for Martin Luther King. They marched for women's rights. They marched for a better future.
But let's talk specifically about my grandmother for a moment.
My grandmother unfortunately passed away in 2016. She had to watch the first Trump election and did so knowing that it would probably be the last election she'd ever see. And there is some argument there that she could have given in to fear and defeatism. She could have decided none of it was worth it, and she could have decided that fascism had won and the world was over.
But she did something else instead.
To give some context, my grandparents had friends who were Republicans. I say were, because they shifted from the normal Republican towards the MAGA Republican we see today. And despite a very clear message from my family about how we felt, they were more than ready to still come to the funeral as if everything was normal. Like their beliefs were normal. Like they were welcome to celebrate someone who had fought so hard for the rights of other people.
These were people who would have absolutely used their rhetoric to scream and shout if they were left out or disinvited.
And so my grandmother, even past her final moments, pulled the most brilliant, petty move I've ever seen.
She'd decided ahead of time that everyone who had known her was more than welcome to attend but that she wanted everyone attending the funeral to donate money. That was the requirement to be invited. And so everyone did just that. There was no talk about what the donations were for, just that they were appreciated. I want to say that the assumption was the money would help pay for funeral expenses and give the family some support while we grieved.
Except that wasn't the case.
Because in those final moments of the funeral, the rabbi stepped forward to thank everyone, and then very cheerfully announced;
"Arlene was so happy to know just how many people were coming to join us here today. She couldn't have been more proud of her family. And I'm sure she would have been elated to see just how much money you all gave today to Planned Parenthood."
When I say that the faces of those people are enshrined in my memory, I mean it. The anger, the devastation, the rage, the betrayal. It was an absolutely gorgeous display of true defeat at the hands of a boss ass old lady who literally fought with her last breath and threw up both middle fingers all the way out the door.
What I'm saying is this.
It is very easy to feel defeated. It is very easy to think that everything is over, and there's nothing left for us to do. It's very easy to say that fascism won, that fear won, that hate won.
But that's only true if you let it be true.
There is always more that we can do. There is a future that is still worth fighting for. And it's more than possible, even when it doesn't seem like it.
And fighting is going to look different every time.
Some days it will look like picket signs in our hands.
Some days it will look like spending time with friends and family and people you love and knowing that you have a community that supports you and your vision of a brighter future.
And some days, it's pulling absolute natural level 20 petty trickster shit even after you've left the world.
Because you can always make an impact and you can always add a little brightness to life, and if that means tricking a group of MAGA idiots into throwing their money behind Planned Parenthood in the middle of your own goddamn funeral then that's what it means.
Keep fighting. People have done it before you. People will continue to do it after you.
And enjoy the little victories.
(Even the petty ones)
#us elections#equality#equal rights#protesting#picketing#fighting#we can do this#we truly can#take a break and then keep fighting
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Konig despises eggplant. He won't go near the stuff. No matter how you cook it, he'll shiver and grimace every time you offer him a bite.
He goes with you everywhere - and I mean everywhere. Sits at the empty table next to you while you get your nails done. Walks down the path from your front door to the mailbox at the crack of dawn, his hands shoved in his pajama pants. Clingy, though he'll never admit it.
Loves a bar of 70% cocoa as a snack. Doesn't need water or milk to wash it down, but he won't turn down a glass of cold, whole milk if it's offered to him (it never is. He grabs it himself).
He'll yell at you to turn the water temperature down when you shower together. Corners himself as far away from the stream as he can, acting like you're threatening him with a scalding fire poke.
When he comes home after missions, he doesn't always drag you to the bedroom to do the devil's tango. Sometimes, he hugs you tightly and begs you to make an actual meal, something to replenish him after weeks of boiled chicken and canned beans from wherever he was shipped off to. He wants you to sit at the table with him and just talk, please just distract him from his own thoughts.
If you hand him something, he'll hold it. He won't even pause what he's doing, whether that's talking about Spartan phalanx formations, or listening to you babble about your day. And he won't let whatever it is go until you tell him what to do with it. You'll turn around, seeing him holding the half stick of butter you handed him well over five minutes ago. "König, baby, you can put that back in the fridge."
He holds your breasts in his sleep in a non-sexual way - but damn, his grip can be fucking tight sometimes. He's got his head resting on your soft stomach, snoring against your skin as his fingers dig and squeeze at your tits. It takes a few minutes of your whining and shoving at his head before he finally relents, wrapping his arms around your waist instead.
He's happy to go to Home Goods with you and spend an hour just sniffing the different candles. He tends to lean towards the apple, cinnamon, pumpkin, or any warm, holiday scents. He can't stand the ones like "tropical waves", or "fresh linen".
He has eaten an entire wheel of brie cheese in one sitting. Multiple times. With nothing else to compliment it. And he will do it again. You can't stop him.
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Dick: I made a mistake
Jason: What you do?
Dick: It's bad
Tim: How bad?
Dick: I think Bruce is going to take me out of the trust fund bad
Damian: Worry no, Richard, for I shall care for you when you are old, wrinkled, and gross. I have more than enough funds for both of us.
Dick: Thanks Dami
Jason: So what'd you do?
Dick: Remember Danny Phantom? That ghost hero that saved the planet from an asteroid?
Tim: Yeah, he does good, clean work. Bruce considered offering him a spot in the Justice League before he suddenly announced he planned to retire from the hero scene.
Dick: I slept with him.
Damian: I beg your pardon?
Dick: And I left before he could wake up the following day, ignored all his calls 'cause he was my rebound when Kori and I split and haven't seen him in almost five years. I just saw him.
Jason: Alright, he's your ex, and you ran into him. He's probably mad at you since that was a bit shitty. But that's not too bad; I don't think Bruce will disown you-
Dick: Yeah turns out Phantom isn't a human ghost. I don't know what he is, but he is a different species, which means his kind reproduces differently, and he was walking hand in hand with a miniature version of me. A version that was five years old. I stole some of the kid's hair, and well.....I have a son I never knew about because I blocked Danny after our one night since I got what I wanted from him.
Tim/Jason: .....
Damian: I regret to inform you, Deadbeat, that no funds are available for you. Or ever. You will die alone. Hungry and scared.
Dick: Trust me I know I deserve that. God! What am I going to do!?
Meanwhile clear across the city
Dan: Are you sure no one will notice me overshadowing this body?
Danny: Nah, it's a failed cloning experiment between me and my ex. It never had a soul. Think of it like it's a meat suit. If anything, I can just keep telling people you're my son.
Dan: Why did you try to clone your ex anyway?
Danny: I'm bored Dan. I'm so bored, there is nothing for me to do now that I retired Phantom.
Dan: That's fair. Boredom is the worst. That's why I choose to visit the human world, though it is weird to be corporal after all this time.
Danny: Do you miss being a halfa?
Dan: Sometimes. But I brought upon myself, I did kill my human side, so I appreciate you leaning me the meat suit. Now tell me about that ex.
Danny: Ancients, where do I even start. His mullet? Blagh! His diet? Blagh!
Dan: He hot?
Danny: So hot.
Dan: Nice.
#dcxdpdabbles#mun speaks#from a fic i never wrote#In wich Dan is overshadowing a not real body#And Dick is panicking at what he thinks is mpreg#Danny sometimes thinks about Dick#death defying
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cod characters fucking fleshlights
this post includes: soap, ghost, gaz, price, graves, konig & alejandro
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soap 🧼- the one that takes his time
now, this ain't soap's first time using a fleshlight. he started with a tenga egg or something like that, just for the sake of trying something that wasn't his hand. and i just know that troughout the years he has created a decently sized collection with a lot of varietiy: fleshlights imitating pussies, asses, mouths,... even if a man like him could easily pull a pretty lass to fuck, with the job he has and what it requires of him, it isn't always ideal.
but there is one thing that soap does, no matter weather he's fucking one of his partners or a plastic replica: he takes his time. stroking himself tentatively before lubing his dick up and loweing the fleshlight onto his hard on until he's balls deep. and when i say he fucks it as if it were a real person i mean it. he's fucking int in diferent positions, jerking himself with it but also fucking into it, both slow and fast until cums all over himself
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ghost 👻- the stretcher
ghost sometimes has to ask himself if he's really that big and thick or if it's just that the one or two fleslights he owns are way too fucking small. he doesn't know, but he very much loves it. there is something about the size difference, the way the plastic stretches to fit him and how he can perfecly see it expanding as he pushes his dick deeper into it that makes him go feral.
now, other than his size kink goin brrr, he finds himself swiping his cock against the flesglight's pussy-like entrance, as if he were teasing a real cunt, before fucking himself slowly into it. he's mersmerized by the plastic doll completely swallowing up his aching hard dick until he's balls deep. he also intends to pull out - just to save himself some clean up - but he finds himself so overwhelmed by the feeling and visuals that he just fill the fleshlight up with his potent cum - more than once, at that -.
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gaz 🧢- mess making perpetrator
this may be my most repeated gaz headcanon but he's a mess maker and there is no deniying. when he get's home from a mission or something like that and he doesn't feel like trying to find a partner to fuck, he always has a trusty fleshlight. the thing is, he doesn't even make it to the bedroom most of the time, deciding to just fuck it in his livingroom.
he just plunged deeply into the plastic pussy, stretching the plastic over his limit because his dick is too long for the small fleshlight, almos breking it. the pent up hornyness and the feeling of something other than his hand wrapped around his dick sending him into an orgasm faster than he expected. he pulls out to first his impossibly hard cock when he feels himself about to cum. and he stains the sofa with it as the mess perpetrator that he is - and let me tell you, it ain't the first time he's had to clean his seed out of that sofa.
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price 🚬- the first timer
price is an older and more traditional man, he would rather fuck another person than some piece of plastic. but he keps hearing his men talk about fleshlights, how good they feel,.. and all that combined with the fact that he ain't getting younger, he's extra tired and trying to find a partner with a job like his is tedious, he decides to get himself a fleshlight just to try it out of curiotisty.
what he did not expect was that god forsaken piece of plastic would feel that fucking good. all it took was some slow deep strokes into it before he found himself cumming. and at that moment his lust filled brain took over and he started fucking himself into the fleshlight again, trying to extend the pleasure of the orgasm. let's say he now fully understands why his men praise them plastic holes.
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konig 🗡- the nasty fucker
lets be real, konig is fleshlight collector number 2. anxiety gets the best of him so he would rather to make do with some plastic pussy or ass than having to deal with the hassle of interacting with people. his not that experiended ass is fucking enamoured by the feeling of and ass or pussy, even if it isn't a real one.
now, konig allways finds himself doing two thing every time he uses one of his fleshlight. a. he moans. like a bitch in heat. he can't help it, it just feels overwhelingly good to have something wrapping tightly around his unexperienced cock. and the fact of finally getting some release. b. he makes messes - yup, mess making perpetrator no. 2 -. spit, precum, lube and cum mixing all together, covering his dick, hands and fleshlight as he fucks himself dumb and slaps his dick all over yhe plastic ass.
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graves 🪦 - the stressed
now, these military men always find themselves stressed out, it's a part of the job. but for graves, said job and the tension that it generates have kept him away for some time now from a real pussy or ass. so a fleshlight is a good alternative, giving him all that he needs to reach some much needed release.
the few occasions he has had enough time to indulge in some pleasure, he's going to make the most of it. alternating slow, sensual deep strokes and fast shallow ones. hands making sure that the fleshlight stays in place as he plunges into it chasing an orgasm and moanig at the sweet feeling of release. he for sure cums deep inside of the plastic masturbator, because it may be plastic, but he loves creampie-ing it the same way he would creampie a real person.
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alejandro 🤠 - the tip teaser
alejandro doesn't strike me as the type of person that would have a proper fleshlight, you know? instead of a piece of plastic that fully engulfs his dick he has one of those quickshot ones. a transparent one at that. it gives him a lot of options, from fully jerking his cock with it to just teasing his tip.
and oh does he love to tease his tip! using that comact masturbator to play with his angry red bulbous tip. pushing just the head in and out, sometimes tilting it to make his dick pop out of the fleshlihgwith a wet noise. and seeing his cock breach into the plastic, dick twitching at the feeling, his stomach spasming from the sensation... he always inevitably cums all over himself, staining his hard shaft, lower hairy stomach, thights and even the quilt.
#cod#cod smut#cod headcanons#p!link#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#captain price#soap smut#soap fanfic#soap cod#ghost smut#cod ghost#kyle gaz garrick#cod gaz#gaz smut#cod price#price smut#john price smut#cod john price#john price#johnny soap mactavish#cod graves#graves smut#phillip graves#konig call of duty#konig x you#konig cod#alejandro vargas#los vaqueros#cod alejandro
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Hi! I was wondering if I could request a prompt where the reader is out at night with the LIs, wearing a pretty outfit, a man just approaches her and rudely asks “how much for a bj?” How would they react/protect her from such a creep?
(Sorry, for my English, I hope it made sense haha🤞🏼)
Very Minor N/SFW Warning!! This one really made me laugh because this has happened to me before, and the situation mostly pans out with my own partner having to yank me away to avoid having to post bail on me later in the evening. Remember to leash your dogs kids! Thank you for the request!! <3
LaDS men when you get catcalled/propositioned on the street
Xavier -
He's apologizing profusely to you because the ensuing bloodspray from how hard he punched the guy in the nose got on your dress and he genuinely feels awful about it.
There is not much to it, besides he acted embarrassingly quickly, to the point you wonder to yourself if he's just been silently waiting for this moment to come.
He's used to going out with you for drinks or evening dates- it's one of the more common ways for the two of you to hang out aside from spending the evening in one of your apartments with the other. Juggling work and clocking out with social activities would also mean walking late at night, to go to a movie or even on a snack run.
So needless to say, he has in fact, been mentally preparing himself for something like this to happen.
He can't help it.
He doesn't ever want to see you disrespected- he doesn't care the context. Work, family, friends-
And now, what, a stranger asking you for sexual favors?
You wait calmly with him while he speaks to the officers about what happened, trying to contain your giggles at how sheepishly he looks at the ground, his face still painted with the most adorable anger.
Zayne -
Quickly, he's pushed you behind himself and holding eye contact with the guy. It doesn't matter if he's drunk, or perfectly sober, Zayne won't excuse someone saying such a ridiculous thing to you.
He has his usual air of politeness and manners, but the bite in his voice is more than apparent, even to someone who doesn't know him. Dressed as nicely as he is with the air he carries around him, it's a weird experience for those who don't know how protective Zayne can get.
He will tell the man to give you an apology and back off, or there will be consequences.
You know what those consequences are, and despite feeling smug about how protective Zayne is, you're trying to grab his arm and stop him, to no avail.
If the creep tries to reach for you, Zayne will back up into you to force you back gently, and the man will quickly realize that he can't reach forward anymore-
Even as Zayne walks away with you, the ice is still creeping up the man's body. Slow enough, but still moving.
Hopefully an OTTO calls for help in time. Hypothermia at night would suck.
Rafayel -
He's immediately between you and the guy, hand long since dropped your own as he crosses his arms and stares the guy down.
If you hadn't known him so long, you would expect him to fire off a tirade of insults and comments at the guy- but you know Rafayel. You know him well.
He tells the guy to back off, in the most simple of terms as he glare is enough to set the man alight- and Rafayel's evol does just that when the guy doesn't seem to back down- lighting up the shoulders of his clothing and causing him to flay around screaming, as Rafayel pulls you to keep walking.
The amount of tasteful compliments on your attire rise, and you know he's doing it to keep you from internalizing the earlier interaction and stop dressing how you want.
He doesn't need some random freak to keep you from expressing yourself how you want to. Of course, he'll always find you attractive, and the little outfit you're wearing is doing numbers to him, but that's not his focus here at all.
He wants you to feel comfortable, confident-
And he'll do everything in his power to make sure you always do.
Sylus -
I am not entirely sure the man who's asking you has finished his sentence before he's slammed once against a nearby building and then released.
Sylus makes no motion to indicate that it was his doing, continuing to walk along with you to wherever the two of you had been going in the first place-
But you knew.
You had seen his stupid red mist envelope him.
For a second, you'd been scared that he was going to kill the guy- and while you knew someone who was comfortable saying such a thing to someone needed to be put in their place, 'murder' was not at all the same as 'putting someone in their place'.
No, he was just slightly- sort of- broken.
Just a bit.
Sylus won't react much, he may give a passing comment about the man, but otherwise, he's back to complimenting you or conversing with you about whatever subject you two had been discussing prior to the creep showing up.
"Sorry, sweetie. I know you don't like bugs. I tried to handle it as... efficiently, as possible."
#love and deepspace#.writey#lads#lds#x reader#sylus x reader#rafayel x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader
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i have been YEARNING for dad!remus. could you do one that's just like really domestic fluff w reader, maybe they already have a young child or reader is pregnant - whatever floats your boat! thank uuuuuu
ugh sweet domestic fluff with dad-to-be Remus? say less (thank you)
Remus Lupin x pregnant!reader at 3:47 am [433 words]
CW: fem afab!reader, pregnancy, fluff
Remus was caught between wanting to keep the serenity of the moment and making his presence known.
Unfortunately, he hadn’t decided which route he wanted to take in enough time, but he swears he did not mean to startle you.
“Oh my god, Remus.” You let out with a sigh, relaxing into his embrace now that you knew you weren’t in immediate danger.
“I’m sorry, dovey.” Remus chuckled into the juncture of your neck, though you scoffed in response.
“You don’t sound very sorry.”
“I am. I’m terribly sorry.”
“You’re a terrible liar.” You grumbled, but Remus could tell your ire was half-hearted, and readily accepted your weight as you leaned back into him and brushed loving strokes over your very round bump.
“Baby hungry?” He whispered into your hair; the only light in the kitchen coming from the analog clock reading 3:47 AM and a teacup-shaped night light plugged in near the toaster, bathing you in a low, blue-tinged light.
You hummed in the positive but made no moves to continue your current task of preparing a midnight snack.
“Why didn’t you wake me? I would’ve made you something.” He offered around a yawn, causing you to laugh.
“I wasn’t going to wake you up because I’m hungry, Rem. Besides, you work tomorrow.”
“I think I’ll call in tomorrow.” The words left Remus’ mouth before he’d realised he was even thinking them, but it felt right anyhow. “Stay home with my girl.”
“Yeah?” You whispered, and Remus felt his heart splinter at how hopeful you sounded.
“Yeah. I’d like that. Help you finish up some of these projects, hm?” He asked as his eyes strayed to the boxed furniture sitting in the hallway outside of the baby’s room.
You let out an appreciative hum and Remus could tell you’d let your eyes close as you allowed him to sway the two of you back and forth, enjoying the comfortable, heavy silence and each other's company.
“What can I make you, dove?” He whispered as he trailed his hands further south, linking them together directly under your bump and planting his feet before leaning back, lifting the weight you’ve been carrying so gracefully and easing the pressure from your back and hips.
The moan that left your lips at the relief was nearly pornographic.
“Holy shit.” You whispered at the same time Remus asked “is that good?”
“Do you think you can just…do this? While I make something to eat?”
Remus smiled and pressed his lips back to the side of your face. “Seems like a perfectly fair trade to me.”
#ask elle#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#remus lupin#remus lupin fic#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin imagine#marauders#the marauders#hp marauders#remus lupin fluff#fluff#fem!reader#marauders as dads#pregnant!reader#pregnancy trope#pregnancy fic#ellecdc fics
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Deprived— FratBoy!Nicholas Chavez x Fem!Reader
summary— you and nicholas have been together for a month and everything has been perfect, except, he’s now touch deprived because you’ve both been busy with university duties.
warnings— established relationship, fluff, sub!nicholas then dom!nicholas, possessive!nicholas, fingering, strip tease, face sitting, face fucking, ass slapping, unprotected sex(wrap it up irl), praise kink, bondage, gagging, creampie, cockwarming.
a/n— thank you guys for 3000+ followers, it means the world to me i love writing🫶🏽requests are open for this au, nicholas and all other characters i’ve written for🫶🏽
Nicholas arrived at your dorm, his hands full of flowers and a basket loaded with little surprises. He couldn’t help but grin, taking in the sight of you.
“Happy one month, baby,” he said, holding out the basket of gifts and the flowers.
“Aw, Nick!”you exclaimed, stepping forward to kiss him. It was a quick, warm kiss, but it had him lingering for more, his heart pounding and his cock suddenly hard. But just as he hoped for something more you pulled away, setting the flowers on your desk. “Thank you so much. You're so sweet, these are beautiful,” you murmured before diving back into your notes.
Nicholas tried to be patient, settling himself on your bed as he watched you work. But after a while, he couldn’t hold back his thoughts. “So, remember the first time we hung out here?” he asked grinning a little.
You glance up with a smirk, remembering. “How could I forget?” He remembered it so clearly — the intensity, the way you’d led him every step of the way, taking his virginity and making him feel like he was the only one in the world. He knew since then that you were the woman for him. You were his first and last.
Nicholas sat on the bed, watching you work, trying to keep his focus on anything but his growing desire. Finally, he blurted out, “I miss you.”
You glanced up, confused. “Sweetheart, you see me almost every day. What do you mean you miss me?”
He shifted uncomfortably, his cheeks slightly flushed. “I mean, I miss, uh, doing—you know.”
A smirk spread across your face as you abandoned your work to straddle him, fingers brushing his hair back. “Use your words, Nicholas. You miss doing what?”
He hesitated, then, eyes dark, murmured, “I miss, um, fucking you.”
You laughed softly, leaning in close. “I didn’t realize you were this touch-deprived,” you teased, noting how he was already hard with barely a touch. “Tell you what, let me finish everything up, and then you’ll have me all to yourself. Sound fair?”
He sighed but nodded, “I think I can work with that.” He gave you one last lingering look. “Be ready for our anniversary dinner at seven, alright?”
At seven, Nicholas arrived, ever the gentleman, opening doors and pulling out your chair just like he did on your first date. Throughout dinner, you kept sending him teasing looks, trailing your fingers over his hand, letting your gaze linger, and even giving his knee a gentle squeeze under the table.
“Everything’s going to be fine when we get back,” you murmured, watching his face as he swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure.
On the drive back, you felt tipsy and mischievous. You let your hand drift to his thigh, rubbing over his hard cock in his pants. His breathing grew heavier, and he muttered, “You’re making it hard to drive like this.”
You just laughed, leaning in close, your hand still caressing his bulge. “Focus on the road, baby.”
He was barely holding on by the time you reached your dorm. As soon as the door closed, he was on you, pushing you gently back against the door, his mouth finding yours in a hungry kiss. His hands trailed up your sides, gripping your waist as he whispered, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.”
You leaned back from the kiss, giving Nicholas a teasing smile. “Fuck, you’re so needy,” you murmured.
He let out a low chuckle, his eyes dark with desire. “Of course I am,” he replied, voice rough, “when I’m around someone as beautiful as you, my girlfriend, and I can’t have you right then and there.”
A shiver ran through you as his hand slipped under your dress, fingertips grazing your inner thighs as he pulled you closer. His gaze was intense, his lips barely inches from yours as he murmured, “You’re mine. I should be able to take what’s mine.”
With that, he hiked your dress up, his eyes locking onto yours as his fingers slipped inside you. Your breath hitched as his fingers teased and explored, a delicious pressure building as he kept his gaze steady, watching your every reaction.
“Look at me,” he murmured, his voice low and insistent, “I want to see you when you fall apart.”
“Nick,” you moaned, as his fingers sped up and his thumb began rubbing your clit.
You could barely hold back, gripping his shoulders as your body responded to every movement of his fingers, finally reaching an orgasm that had you gasping as you squirted all over his fingers. He knew exactly how to make you feel good.
“Taste yourself,” he murmured. You held on to his hand, sucking your juices off his fingers before you took them in deeper.
“Wow, you’re amazing,” he whispered.
You gave him another kiss on the lips before leading him over to your bed and putting him to sit. He watched in awe as you swayed your hips and slowly removed your clothing including the lingerie you had on underneath.
“You’re a-absolutely breathtaking,” he whispered, the dent in his pants growing more than he thought it ever could. You were completely bare and before him, your body he believed to be sculpted by the gods themselves. “I missed this so much,” he said, in between kissing your body, “I need you to sit on my face.”
“Beg me then,” you whispered, your hand in his hair.
“F- fuck, please baby, I need you to sit on my face. Need you so bad, I need it,” he whimpered. You loved when he was like this. Lips pouty, face red and his eyes dark with desire.
“Good boy, now lay back.” As eager as ever, he lay back, but not before loosening his tie and taking off his shirt. He looked so fine all dressed up for you. His hands gripped your hips, making sure you were flat on his mouth, just where he wanted you.
“Baby, oh my god that feels good,” you cried out. He was a man possessed, his tongue circled your clit, flicking it and sucking, making you feel unimaginable pleasure. His mouth engulfed your pussy, eating you out like he was starved—well he was. It didn’t take much and you held on to his hair, grinding as he sucked and licked and soon you were convulsing on top of him, your high overtaking you.
“Give me everything you’ve got,” he murmured, not stopping even when you already came. He continued and you held on to his hair for dear life, crying out as the pleasure became almost too much.
“O-oh, I think I’m gonna cum again,” you moaned. You felt him smirk below you and just as predicted, you squirted all over his face. You definitely had to change your sheets the next morning.
“Good girl, that’s my baby, just gushing for me, you love sitting on my face, don’t you?” You nodded instinctively, now ready to give him a taste of pleasure.
He stood up and you fell to your knees, unbuckling his belt and freeing his cock as you looked up at him with lust blown eyes.
“You’re so beautiful,” he sighed, looking down at you. Even then he couldn’t believe a girl like you gave a guy like him a chance.
“So are you baby,” you smiled, admiring his hard cock in your hands. It almost looked painful.
“Fuck, just like that,” he moaned loudly. You giggled as you immediately took his cock into the back of your throat. The taste of his pre cum made you moan in content and you continued sucking, playing with his balls as he struggled to quiet his little whimpers.
“C-can I, uh, fuck your throat?” he asked, “it’s okay if you don’t want to, I- I just heard some of the guys in the frat talk about doing it,” he asked, shyly.
“Of course baby, we can try anything,” you smiled, taking his cock out of your mouth, a trail of saliva connecting you.
As soon as you gave permission, he gripped your hair and thrusted into your throat. Your nails dug into his thighs as he thrusted steadily, making sure you could still be able to breathe. You caressed his balls as he did, earning breathy moans. The sight of you on your knees for him, pre cum and saliva dripping down your chin was enough to make him shoot his load into your throat. You swallowed every drop of his cum, using your hands to milk him of everything he had.
“Oh shit,” he moaned, “I never get tired of seeing you do that.”
You smiled at him but thoughts were swirling in your head, he was new to all of this and it was your job to teach him the kinkier side of things.
“Get your tie and bound my hands behind my back,” you said.
“Uh, are you s-sure?” he asked, face now red with a surprised expression.
“Yes baby, I’m sure, now take up your tie,” you responded. You arched your back, your hands behind you, waiting for him to tie them.
Soon, you felt the bed dip and the feeling of the tie going around your wrists. “Is this okay? I don’t want it to be too tight and hurt you.”
“That’s okay baby.” He hummed in response and you moaned as the leaking head of his cock ran up and down your folds. He slipped inside your slick pussy, both of you moaning in unison.
“You look so fucking sexy like this,” he said, slapping your ass and surprising you. You were enjoying this kinkier side of him.
He held you by your tied wrists, slamming into you from behind. The angle made him go deep, and all you could think about was how good his cock felt.
“You’re doing so good for me baby,” you cried, “faster.”
He obeyed, his hips meeting your ass faster as he thrusted into you, your pussy gripping him as his cock disappeared inside you.
“S-so so tight,” he whimpered, losing himself in the pleasure of it all.
“That’s right baby, and it’s all yours, whose pussy is this?”
“Mine baby, all mine,” he moaned, and with that, you clenched tightly around his dick, creaming all over it.
“Good boy, you make me feel so good, now untie me and sit,” you said, having another idea in mind.
He did as he was told and as you took up the tie, eyeing it and then Nicholas.
“W-what are you gonna do to me?” he inquired nervously.
“Nothing too crazy, I’m just going to gag you, is that okay sweetheart? Do you want that?”
He nodded slowly, heart rising in his cheeks. He had heard his frat brothers talk about gagging girls, never the other way around but, he was different from them. He wanted to be the one gagged.
“Words baby, I need you to tell me what you want.”
“Yes, I want you to gag me,” he answered and you grinned, placing a passionate kiss on his lips before stuffing his own tie in his mouth.
“That’s my good boy, so obedient,” you smirked. You straddled him, rubbing his tip across your pussy. He let out a muffled whimper, feeling your juices drain down the base of his cock.
“Mm-mm,” he mumbled through the tie.
“I can’t hear you baby, you’re gonna have to speak up for me,” you laughed.
He protested through the tie but a muffled moan interrupted him as you slowly sank down on his hard cock. You gripped his shoulders, surely to leave claw marks as he stretched you out and you tried to take as much of him inside you as you could.
“Best dick I’ve ever had sweetheart.”
You began bouncing on his cock, his eyes going from your tits moving, to your face contorting in pleasure to his dick disappearing inside your pussy. His muffled whimpers only willed you further and you continued bouncing, whispering praises in his ear.
“Take it like a good boy.”
“Happy anniversary baby, I promise you won’t go this long without being inside me ever again.”
“I love your cock baby.”
“F-fuck this is my dick.”
“You make me feel so good.”
Tears pricked the corner of his eyes as he gripped your waist lightly, lost in the feeling of your pussy gripping him ever so tightly. He could feel the head of his cock practically touch your cervix and constantly be coated in your juices.
“Hold me baby, hold me close, I’m gonna cum,” you cried, gripping his shoulder tightly.
He did as you instructed, pulling you close and thrusting up into you as you squirted and creamed on his cock. The combination made him lose control and he moaned and grunted into the tie, releasing his load deep inside your pussy. He held you close, slowly thrusting up into you, making sure your grip milked him of all his load until you both fell onto the bed with you on top of him and his cock buried deep inside you.
You removed the tie from his mouth and placed a kiss on his lips as he panted. “That was so hot, you’re amazing.” You smiled and placed another kiss on his lips before laying on his chest.
“We’re gonna stay like this all night okay,” you said, snuggling into him, still feeling his cock pulse inside you.
“Happy anniversary again beautiful,” he sighed, kissing the top of your head, “best gift ever.”
“You’re everything to me Nicholas.”
#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez#nicholas chavez au#fratboy!nicholas chavez#fratboy!nicholas chavez x reader#fratboy!nicholas#nicholas chavez x black!reader#nicholas chavez x black reader#nicholas chavez fanfiction#nicholas chavez smut#nicholas chavez x reader smut#nicholas chavez fic#nicholas chavez imagine#nicholas chavez fluff#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas chavez x female reader#nicholas chavez x fem!reader#nicholas chavez blurb#nicholas chavez x y/n#nicholas chavez x you#nicholas chavez x poc!reader#grotesquerie#father charlie mayhew#dr charlie mayhew#grotesquerie smut#charlie mayhew smut#father charlie mayhew x reader smut#charlie mayhew x reader#charlie mayhew x y/n#father charlie grotesquerie
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A quick love letter to my Bucktommy family in the form of a fix-it <3
Bucktommy | fix-it | Teen | 1141 words | warnings: this is angsty at the start and tiptoes toward addressing biphobia so please care for yourself and don't read if that will exacerbate your hurt.
They're three beers deep when the doorbell rings again.
It's been a fucking night. He hadn't really had much to say to Eddie when he got there, thankfully he hadn't had to, especially considering Eddie was clearly in the midst of his own kind of night. It feels better, not being alone, at least. But the alcohol mixes with his head and twists the moment in his apartment further. How come every time I want to move forward I get pushed back?
He's not even paying attention when Eddie goes up to get the door, just fiddles with the bottle in his hand more, peeling the label into tiny pieces and laying them on Eddie's coffee table for him to pick up later.
"Shit-" Eddie stumbles as he makes his way. And then Buck can feel a little breeze as he goes to tell whoever it is that this isn't a good time.
"Oh thank god-" Buck freezes, determined not to turn around. "I wasn't sure you'd be home but I think I fucked up."
That's Tommy.
"I panicked a little. Evan asked me to move in and I think I freaked out."
"Uhh-" Eddie adds.
"We just got done talking about my ex who I had to end an engagement with and it just- it felt like he was trying to make up for his own freak out about it and-" Buck hears him take a deep breath, "I didn't want to force him into doing something he didn't really want to do, you know? He- he should get to make sure that's what he really wants." He takes another breath. "Are you not wearing pants?"
"Umm-"
Buck's heart rate had steadily ramped up hearing Tommy speak, but it's when he stops that Buck feels tears prickle at his eyes. He whips around then, still nestled into Eddie's couch, betrayal in his voice when he speaks.
"I did!" and shit. He didn't really mean to shout that.
"I'm gonna..." Eddie trails off as he heads into his bedroom.
"Why do you think I didn't make sure that's what I wanted?" he demands. He hadn't thought he'd be so angry, but this felt like something to him, and Tommy's running. Again. "Because that girl hit on me at the restaurant?"
Tommy looks shell-shocked. Like he's still grasping the fact that Buck is here, so Buck just keeps talking.
"Or because I haven't dated a man before? So I must not know what I'm talking about, right?"
"Buck-"
"Don't call me that."
"Evan," Tommy steps a little closer, and Buck leans toward the cushions, petty, but feeling raw still. "That is not why."
Buck levels him with a look.
"Okay, what you said is fair enough," he relents. "I didn't mean to make it seem like you couldn't make your own decisions about this."
"What did you mean?"
Tommy looks away for a moment, a flicker of pain on his face.
"I meant... what I said," he lands on. "You would break my heart, Evan."
"You don't know that." The tears finally crest over his lower lids and make their way to his mouth. "You can't just give up every time you're scared that I'm going to leave you, Tommy. It's not fair, you're not even giving me the chance to stay."
Tommy's lip wobbles a little now too, but he stays and listens.
"I wanted to stay, I wanted you to stay. With me. Permanently. Why would you think I would leave you?"
He cries now, and Buck hasn't ever seen him cry.
"I don't know," he gets out, choked and soft. "I see you, sometimes. With the 118 and everyone's families and I... I don't feel like I fit, Evan. I don't get how I fit into that."
"You fit into it because you're my boyfriend. My partner."
"I am?" he asks, treading closer ever slightly to the couch.
This time Buck leans his way. He sets his bottle down and looks down at his hands.
"Did you mean what you told Eddie? You fucked up? Because I fucked up, once, at the beginning of us, and you gave me that second chance and I'm so glad you did, Tommy, because these last few months have been better than I could've hoped. I don't want to let that go because of this so... yeah you can be, if you want."
Tommy rushes to the couch, he sits as close as he can get and grabs Buck's hands firmly. Warm and sure.
"I want that. I want us again. Please."
"You can have it," Buck whispers, resting his head on Tommy's shoulder. He squeezes Tommy's hands. "Just don't leave again, please."
"I won't, I won't."
Then there's a kiss at the crown of his head, and Tommy's other hand rubs soft circles over his back. He murmurs sweet nothings in Buck's ear all the while.
I'm sorry. I'm glad you were here. I missed you as soon as I walked out the door. I'm staying. I'm staying. I'm staying.
They sit like that for a while until a throat clearing from the hallway has them both lifting their heads to find Eddie, fully-clothed.
"What were you guys doing before I got here, by the way?" Tommy asks, humor back in his voice.
"Well, I was drinking my sorrows away. I don't know what Tom Cruise was doing."
"Ha ha," Eddie says, making his way to the couch, no qualms about forcing them to scooch over to make room. "We can talk about my shit tomorrow. You guys worked it out I guess?"
Buck looks up at Tommy, smiles, and kisses him with a loud peck just to make Eddie huff and roll his eyes.
"Yeah," Tommy says, looking at ease. "Although..." he starts.
Buck turns to him, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't know that moving into your place is going to work," Tommy admits.
Buck sits up a little, mouth just opening to speak when Tommy cuts him off.
"I want to live with you, Evan, but your place is barely big enough for one person, so maybe we can workshop location, yeah?" he smiles a crinkly smile, the kind that always lets Buck know he's feeling fond, feeling secure.
It's Buck's turn to huff now. "It gets good light," he grumbles.
Tommy kisses his temple again, Buck gets the distinct feeling that he will be getting kissed quite a bit in the near future, and he chances a quick look at Eddie to see if they're being annoying.
Instead, he sees Eddie smiling too, he's looking on like he's proud and it makes Buck want to tear up again. Eddie gives him a nod and Buck nods back.
A weight lifts off his shoulders then. In the arms of the man he's growing to love and accepted by his family.
~~~~
I want to say a quick thank you to everyone who read, commented, shared my fics, sent me nice messages about my writing for these two, and to everyone who created content for them while they were canon. I'm thankful for every minute of it :)
#I love you guys take care I'm always here to talk#bucktommy#911 abc#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#bucktommy ficlet#tevan#tevan ficlet#my ficlet
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‘Getting started’ ‘getting the ball rolling’ ‘taking the first step’ is a narrative. It’s not real. There is no ‘process’ because the future isn’t real; only the present is is. And only with looking back at your memories you generate a narrative of your life; it’s naturally retrospective. We are narrative creatures who make meaning out of said narrative. But that doesn’t mean the narrative is ‘real’ - it’s a construction of your brain that you need to respect as part of you. Externalising that narrative and pretending it’s ‘real’ is actually a major insult to your brain’s magnificent ability to process and make meaning, and therefore it’s a fundamental insult against yourself.
Some people can use a theoretical future of themselves as motivation, and good for them. But if it’s not working for you, you need to consider why. Despite not being able to get out of bed sometimes, the person who made this comic still made something. Despite having your periodic breakdowns, you still moved your fingers to reblog this post. Compare and contrast the difference between why you do some things and not others. ‘But that’s different -’ yes, it is different. But there are only actions, consequences and what you value. You value not being thirsty, so you take a drink. You value not being broke, so you drag yourself to work. It’s exactly that deep. Narrative makes you forget that you’re always in a direct 1:1 relationship with your environment. And that feels scary, but it’s not - it’s how we’ve always existed, from the very first rudimentary lifeform whose only sign of life was ‘want nutrients -> consume nutrients’. We want to think we’re more sophisticated than that, but we’re not.
Narrative is a comfortable cushion, because narrative makes you forget that when you ‘start the ball rolling’, you don’t magically become a montage, or a cut-scene version of yourself. You’re still there, you’re still making decisions, you’re still feeling some type of way about the stimulus you’re experiencing. Depression is a narrative cushion, and that’s why it feels comfortable. Never feeling responsible for yourself feels safe, but in doing so you communicate to yourself that you don’t deserve to be here (which becomes literal in the form of suicidal ideation).
In my experience, if I can’t get myself to do something, that’s because I actually don’t want to do it. And the reasons I don’t want to do it might make me feel deeply embarrassed: I don’t want to learn pottery if it means I have to take a bus across town to get to the class. I don’t want to read a certain book because it’s too long. I don’t want to prepare that dish because its too expensive. Sunk cost fallacy is one hell of a drug. And narrative has you always feeling outside of yourself, as if you owe something to some universal force of objectivity which is telling you you’re supposed to do those things: you said you were going to do it, you’ve bought the tools, you’ve told your mum, why aren’t you fucking doing it? It’s so easy, what’s wrong with you? But even that’s an abstraction, because in reality nobody is telling you that but yourself. You might not consciously believe in this universal force of objectivity, but you will find yourself bristle when challenged about it. If someone says ‘you don’t have to do that’, you may want to fire back ‘but I do!’
There are only actions and consequences, and what consequences you value. There is. no. ‘should’. There is no ‘have to’. There is no ‘need’. If you stop brushing your teeth, maybe they’ll fall out, and maybe you don’t give a shit. Or maybe the thought of that horrifies you, and suddenly you’re motivated to brush your teeth. Narratives will have you forget that it’s your prerogative as an individual to want, and those wants are never going to pure or 100% correct. That concept is fake as the narrative is. Make no mistake, all these things are useful for us to make more informed decisions so we can live rich, fulfilling lives - but by that nature that means they come from within us and are how we generated meaning and process the world and our selfhoods.
There is nothing ‘wrong’ with you. And as with everything else, that ‘wrong’ is also a constructed concept and is therefore not ‘real’. I still use the word depression to describe what I went through, but I understand now that believing in what society says being ‘mentally ill’ is is exactly what was holding me back. Society says being mentally ill means that you’re broken and wrong and incapable of making rational decisions for yourself. What I discovered is that I’m always a rational agent, and it’s my prerogative to be an individual, and that narrative cushion of depression was actually preventing me from making the decisions for myself that I’ve always known I’ve wanted.
People who have never had depression yet never have exercised, ‘followed their dreams’ or eaten healthily in their lives will be doing exactly the same shit as you and thinking their life is pretty chill whilst you have breakdown after breakdown. The only difference is, those people will stop ‘bedrotting’ the moment their bestie starts a Zumba class and suddenly they’ve caught the exercise bug. They’re not fundamentally more rational people than you just because they don’t have depression; they’re just not reliant on that narrative as you. They’ve not categorised what they’re doing ‘as not exercising’ - they’re just chilling, living their life, and besides the gym is all the way across town. So when suddenly an opportunity for exercise comes along, they’re not burdened with all this narrative - they just want to do the thing, maybe for low-key ‘bad’ reasons e.g. they don’t want to miss out on things their friend is doing, or there’s a hot guy teaching the class.
What I eventually came to learn is that I’m not living in a separate dimension entirely incapable of being like them. In fact, if you’re anything like me with mental health problems you probably have something they don’t: self awareness. And whilst self awareness feels so deeply embarrassing, remember there are only actions and consequences, and what you value. And you exist in reality first, including the reality of you. You can’t ‘old man yells at cloud’ your way outta this one.
The moment I decided to treat my self awareness as a boon instead of a curse is the moment I was able to write aaaaall this shit on tumblr. And is that bad of me, that I didn’t write a book instead? The book is the ‘correct’ route, no? But that’s the thing; I know that if I had stuck with believing that I ‘had’ to write a book, I would have written nothing. Am I so fucked up in the head that I can’t muster up the attention span, to ‘start the ball rolling’ in writing a whole book? I dunno, that’s a narrative categorisation of myself that doesn’t mean anything real. I’m just who I am now so I’d rather work with that. You can call me that if you like, but I’m just chilling.
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Mythal, Solas, and Lavellan (An Analysis)
Please be aware that this post contains spoilers for Dragon Age: The Veilguard, so now is the time to click away until you have finished the game. All opinions shared here are just opinions, and are not intended to be presented as fact. 💕
So, this is sort of an abridged version of what could be (and may someday be) a more in-depth analysis, but I just want to offer a different perspective on the Mythal vs. Lavellan discourse when it comes to Solas’ love and loyalty. I've included a lot of supporting evidence from the game, and wanted to share some of it for your consideration: I want to start in the Lighthouse, for the folks who are upset that we didn't see Lavellan amongst Solas' memories. I think this is for the best, all things considered. The regrets we see in the Lighthouse are all of Mythal– taking a form for her, letting her mold him, doing things he thought were “monstrous” at her request, however well (or ill) intentioned. To me, Solas regrets Mythal nearly as a whole. He loved her, certainly, but I think it’s very apparent that he wants more than anything to close that chapter of his life and move on, which he cannot do without confronting the mistakes of his past. From my view, it’s an excellent sign, actually, that Lavellan is not among the great regrets of his life. He says to Rook that he regrets being selfish with her– but he “cherishes” his closeness with, and his love for Lavellan “more than [his] victories.” The same cannot be said of anything on those walls in the Lighthouse.
That same closeness with Mythal– regardless of whether it was romantic, platonic, familial– hurt him, over and over. Everything he did in service of that love, he regrets. He does not cherish it, at least not in the same way. I think I would’ve been offended, frankly, if Lavellan had been on those walls beside her.
Moreover, he acknowledges Lavellan’s goodness, and doesn’t really do that for Mythal, at least not here. Yes, in Trespasser, he said that Mythal was the best of the Evanuris, but we know it’s a low bar to clear. Does that mean she was evil? Not necessarily. But he also says to Rook that all the Evanuris “were monsters, in their own ways,” and moments later tells them, by contrast, that Lavellan “is a good woman.”
I don’t think it’s his love for Mythal (or even his loyalty to her) that keeps him away from Lavellan, either. He cannot in good conscience give himself what he wants most without first fixing what he broke. He doesn’t want to bring down the Veil anymore, not really. He even acknowledges the Dalish as "our people," to an elven Rook (Lavellan's influence?), and says it was a "privilege" to help them again. He says in the final confrontation that he is compelled to bring down the Veil at this point because otherwise, he has failed and wronged and harmed people for nothing– Lavellan among them. He says, more or less, that he has to see it through, has to bring back “the world [Mythal] wanted,” or else all the suffering he’s imposed has been in vain. That reads to me as a sunk cost fallacy more than an act of great loyalty.
If we’re talking about what Solas wanted, by comparison, we see it in his codex letter to Lavellan– he says, outright, “I could have…even put my plans aside, and simply stayed with you as Solas…which is what I wanted.” His desires do not match Mythal’s, and in fact are the opposite. But again, how can he allow himself to have his own way when he does not yet feel he has righted his wrongs?
Here we wade into murkier waters (as this could be a more personal interpretation than what was actually intended), but I think it’s fascinating that in Solas’ memory of manifestation, he tells Mythal, “I will always follow where you go.” I think this may be his original regret. I think he wishes he would’ve followed his heart (both in the moral sense, and later, the vhenan sense), rather than pledging himself to another being that “broke him,” as Mythal herself admits to doing.
And speaking of vhenan, my final note: Mythal is never anything but Mythal, to Solas. Even when she calls him “love" in his memories, he does not reciprocate. He refers to her as nothing besides her name. Lavellan is always given the title of Vhenan. He has not called her Inquisitor since before Trespasser, and even then it was because he was trying to create distance, to avoid hurting her further. But ultimately she is his heart, and he wants to follow her, and Mythal is the only thing stopping him– not because he is holding onto her, but because she is in his way.
#let me soothe your solavellan hurt y'all#solas#solavellan#datv#veilguard#dragon age#dragon age spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#solas meta#mythal#evanuris#dragon age veilguard#da4#datv spoilers#solavellan spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#da4 spoilers#da:tv#da:tv spoilers#solavellan hell
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Violence through his veins.
Benjicot Blackwood x wife!reader
Summary: Benjicot is an overly nervous man around his wife, blushing every time. After the Battle at the Burning Mill, Benji exudes confidence. It throws her off.
Warnings: HEAVY talks of sex. Blood, war, violence, etc.
A/N: based on an ask! We get a little shy Ben, then a little Bloody Ben! It's the best of both worlds!!!
Masterlist
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She stepped down the stairs, paying more attention to the man that stood at the bottom of the staircase.
Benjicot Blackwood stood at the bottom of the stairs. He was chatting lightly to a lord, not noticing her approaching yet.
She took a moment to admire him. His broad shoulders flexed as he rolled them back. He no doubt wanted to crawl into a hole and not come back out. She was beginning to know him well just from his body language.
The man he was talking to looked up, noticing her coming down the stairs. "My lady?"
Benji turned immediately at that. His eyes lit up at the sight of her. "My love?" He asked softly.
She hit the bottom step and stopped. "Forgive me. I didn't mean to interrupt you."
Benji let out a soft breath of relief. "No. That's fine." He excused himself from the man and held out his arm like a proper gentleman, which she took.
The two walked down the corridor in silence and she was the one to break it. "You looked miserable."
"Did I?" He immediately asked in concern, then relaxed. "Thought I was hiding it pretty well."
She hummed. "He didn't seem to notice."
"And you did?"
She shrugged and tightened her grip on his bicep. "We're married."
His brows came together in thought. His heart felt a small jolt at the thought that she recognized his anxiety so easily. "We are," he agreed, "Is that how it works?"
"Well, I don't know in all honesty," she admitted. "But I know you fairly well."
"And I to you."
The silence continued as they continued to walk. It was comforting, and they found that they didn't mind it. But Benji's mind was wandering and he couldn't stop it.
"Is that why you interrupted?"
She hummed in consideration of what to tell him. "A lady never interrupts on purpose."
His eyes met hers, and a blush crept over his cheeks. The two looked away.
"I-I'll have to go soon. I have to patrol."
"You won't be here to sup?"
"No..."
"Oh." She pulled her hand back and smoothed down her skirt. "Well, that's alright. How late will you be gone?"
He rubbed at the back of his neck. "I imagine before you sleep, though I'm unsure."
"I've been… missing you, as of late," she admitted with a flushed expression.
His cheeks flushed as well. "H-Have you?"
"It has been a few days." She dared to reach out and brush over his shoulder. "The people are expecting us to do our duties."
"Is that the only reason?" His breathed out as the heat in his body rose.
She stepped forward, placing a delicate kiss to his jaw. "No."
A small whine fell from his lips. His shaky hands made their way to her hips and his head tilted up to give her more room.
She took advantage of it, nipping at his Adam's apple.
He groaned. "I must go."
"Stay," she begged.
"I-I can't."
She placed her forehead on his chest. "But you'll be back soon?"
He brushed a hand through her hair. "As soon as I can be, my love."
…
The news of the Battle had sent her into a tailspin that evening. Her sweet husband in a battle with the Brackens?
When news was received that the battle had ended, she all but ran to the battlefield. The stable boy had handed her the reigns to her horse and she was off.
Once upon the field, she took note of the numerous scattered bodies across the field. It panicked her more, knowing that her sweet Benjicot could be one of them.
The small group of men across the field loudly chatted and yelled, no doubt celebrating their victory. They were crowded in a circle, all in Blackwood red.
She rode to them, and their attention turned to her.
Benicot stepped out from the circle, his body covered head to toe in blood. His hair was smeared with the remains of his enemies, his eyes so dark, they were hard to spot through the blood.
But that wasn't what was so alarming.
It was the confidence that oozed from his form. His shoulders were back, his chest puffed out in a way she'd never seen. His eyes held a fire to them, one that was now set on her. He sheathed his sword, opening his arms out. "The hell are you doing here?"
She jumped off of her horse, running to him. When within reach, her hands frantically moved over him, trying to figure out his injuries- if he even had any. It was so difficult to tell through the blood. "Are you hurt?"
His hands had instinctively moved to her waist, keeping her in a vice grip. "You sweet woman. So concerned for me, you journeyed into a battle, unsure if it was over yet?"
"Well… yes… I guess so-"
"Hear that boys?" He called over his shoulder. "The lady cares for her new Lord."
They cheered and quipped various things in response, but she heard none of them. "Benji? What do you mean? Is your father-"
"-Dead," he finished for her. "Died to a Bracken sword. And I killed the Bracken. First blood of the new Lord's sword is one of a Bracken! Isn't that joyful?"
Her face fell. "Oh, Benji. I'm so sorry."
"Sorry?" He gawked at her, and a sinister smile came over his face. "I'm Lord Blackwood now. And you are my Lady. Are you not incandescently happy?"
"Benjicot. Are you hurt?"
He shook his head and pulled her closer. "I've never felt more alive," he growled in her ear.
She gripped him by his biceps, her fingers catching on the metal armor around him. "You're different."
His fingers squeezed her hips. "I'm alive," was his answer.
Her head picked up to look up at his face. He was staring down at her, his lips parted. The two took a moment to truly drink the other in.
Benjicot's hand came up to her face and cupped her cheek. The contact made her eyes close for a moment, not caring about the blood that smeared across her cheek.
"My heart is pounding," he admitted.
She braved a move, pushing herself firmly against him and kissing his lips softly.
A groan sounded from within him, and he soon dipped his head down to catch her lips further. The kiss deepened heavily, the two beginning to fight for dominance. Their breaths mixed between kisses.
"I'm taking you back to Raventree," he panted. "Now. I can't wait any longer for a taste of you."
He shouted something over his shoulder at the guys, all of them waving or voicing a bye of sorts, obviously trying to give the lustful man a little privacy.
He spoke as he tugged her along. "The gods have made you just for me, haven't they?"
"I'm beginning to believe they have."
A smirk came across his face. "They have. And I for you. I know how well you take me."
Her face flushed. "I don't know what you're talking ab-"
He dug his heel into the dirt, stopping them and tugging her to him. It caught her off guard, but he caught her with ease. "You do," he pushed. "You know very well what I mean." He leaned forward slowly, as if trying to earn the trust of prey. His face tucked into the crook of her neck, beginning to kiss and lightly suck at the skin. "The way you take me is my proof that the gods are in my favor."
"Not-" her breath caught when he nipped a sensitive spot. "Not your victory over the Brackens?"
"No," he quickly answered, as if it was obvious.
"How much further to your horse?" She softly asked.
He took a deep breath against her, savoring each passing second of being consumed by the very thought of her. "Depends on how many times I have to stop to admire you."
She smiled and tugged at his hair playfully. He groaned.
…
Seemed that when violence moved through his veins, so did confidence. Not that she minded. Both Benjis were perfect to her.
.........................................
#fanfiction#house of the dragon fanfiction#game of thrones x reader#game of thrones fanfiction#game of thrones imagine#game of thrones x y/n#benjicot blackwood imagine#benjicot blackwood x reader#benjicot blackwood#benjicot blackwood fanfic#benjicot x reader#benji blackwood#house of the dragon fanfic#hotd x you#hotd fanfiction#house of the dragon x reader#hotd x reader#davos blackwood imagine#davos blackwood#davos blackwood x reader#davos blackwood x you#davos blackwood fic
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Listen, having worked in university marketing, I am here to tell you that not all ads are evil or trying to deceive you. People work really hard at conveying precisely the information you need that will tell you if a product is for you.
There are people in advertising and marketing who are well aware of the laws about not deceiving customers and who think constantly about what they can provide evidence to claim, not making stuff up.
And yeah, they're trying to persuade you, but that doesn't automatically mean 'buy this piece of shit we're telling you is solid gold'. It means, 'we really believe in this, we have evidence that it's good and could be a great thing for you, but we need to find a way to tell you that and make you trust us' which takes a lot of thought.
And as a consumer there's a lot of stuff I just wouldn't know about if not for advertising. We need advertising to tell people there are solutions to problems, quality products, and fun things to get excited about.
Advertising isn't inherently BAD. And it's one of the few industries in which creative people can make a liveable wage with their art or writing.
The problem we have at the moment is that a lot of people with no training in making good ads, people who don't care about laws, or are based somewhere with less regulation, who are churning out annoying, misleading, not-accesdible garbage.
And these people aren't researching their audience and tailoring the content to people for whom its relevant. Instead a whole tech industry has grown up where people who know fuck all about marketing have companies that scrape and aggregate your data, who sell it to other tech companies that sell advertising space, which is bought up by yet another automated service that has been trained to get 'the best deal' for the company that wants to sell a product.
That's not how it works when you wanna make a useful ad. You should be doing customer research with your actual customers. Analysing the data you get to tailor both the advert and the advertising space.
But these automated systems talking to other automated systems don't do that.
Like, first off, the data is SHIT. It may not even differentiate content you noped out of from stuff you looked at for half an hour. And if it does, it treats all the content on the page equally. All the stuff you're ignoring is tagged as 'on sites this user spends a lot of time on'. Whereas human customer research, for which customers consent and usually receive some kind of reward, involves tracking eye movements, mouse movements, clicks, and an interview afterwards to ask what they were thinking about and why they stayed on one page over another. This is so much more helpful! It helps make content more useful to users and prevents wasted marketing effort.
But almost no one does it these days because, well, it's expensive. You gotta compensate the consumers you do your research with, design sensible things for them to test, have someone monitor and analyse what they do, and interview them after. That's very expensive compared to a bunch of lightning fast calculations that can all be automated. So companies don't pay to do it properly, and they don't actually tailor their ads to you, and they're not trying to be informative.
At best (and I can't stress enough how rare this is) ads that are based on this data and algorithms and/or machine learning deliver what will get you to look at the ad for longer or click the ad to go to a website. But if that means bright flashing colours and the world's tiniest 'x' so you can't actually close the ad without clicking through, these automated systems are designed to get you to do THAT, not buy the product.
Honestly, I know it sounds like I'm asking for sympathy for the devil, but I have seen this from the tech side, the marketing side, the researcher side, and the user doing the test. I have taken a course on content strategy and heard what academics in this field have to say, and it's honestly not evil. They're trying to adapt to an environment where you're constantly barraged with demands on your attention, so it is in the advertiser's best interest to be clear and tailored and not waste your time.
But unfortunately an awful lot of people have been sold on the idea that these automated systems ARE targeting people who would be interested with stuff that's relevant to them, and they're just NOT.
You can see it if you compare an entertaining TV ad by an established brand who can pay for the research to the vast majority of internet ads. They can be funny, entertaining, informative, even insightful. They can also be stereotyped and annoying of course, but on the whole they're much less of a headache than the nonsense funnel we get exposed to constantly online and in mobile games.
Tbh, advertisers, producers, and consumers have all been screwed over by VC-owned companies that are being squeezed from on high for every last drop of short term capital. And that means automating things because it's cheaper and quicker than human analysis, even if it means the whole thing becomes annoying, unhelpful garbage.
But scale it back and think about your artist friend. Your creator with a small etsy business. Your self-published author. Your inventor with a neat accessibility tool. They aren't producing groceries, but if they don't advertise, literally no one will know their products exist.
Advertising DOES have a good and important role. Under-regulated advertising in a toxic system not aimed at serving producers OR customers is hamstrung and cannot perform that role.
The only acceptable ads should be shit like "groceries on sale" and "free event at the local library"
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Falls in, i would love to hear about this decked out/failed cave exploration au pls pls pls already i am Bewitched
hehehe [in tango's voice] sighh i suppose...
really im very tempted to just let it sit and not tell anything, because it's so fun seeing people theorize and point out details in the notes. but yeah i guess i shouldn't gatekeep it, its a fun au!
i do want to state in the beginning that it was a one-off thing and i have no plans on continuing it or drawing more for it. if you do tho? feel free! (not asking for fanart by any means, but giving the green light if anyone was wondering)
well
-------
Pet crew were a group of cave explorers. They're no experts by any means but they were no amateurs either! (ignore the fact that they're not wearing any PPE, i didn't want to draw it, ok--) And recently they've been excited about mapping out a new cave system they found, completely unexplored according to their research.
Tango, always a big lover of his plans and spreadsheets, presumably decided to go in alone ahead of time to sketch out at least a rough draft for a map, so they had an idea of what they're going to be dealing with.
But see, this cave is not an ordinary cave, no matter how pristine and untouched it looked. It is one gigantic organism of unknown origin, and a hunrgy one at that, the air inside it is filled with little cells or spores that, when inhaled enough, start taking over the body and corroding it to the cave's will. Killing the host in the process.
So, obviously, after spending some time in the cave by himself, Tango did get some cells in him. Not enough to be noticeable, but enough to give him a headstart on the corruption when the group went in for a proper dive some days later.
The first symptoms of undergoing the change are pretty standard: light fever, weakness, dizziness — easy to mistake for a flu.
Which is exactly what Tango did. Of course, going caving with a flu is not a smart thing to do either, but the group has been planning this trip for so long, delaying it even more because someone was slightly under the weather would've been foolish!
The cave started off with a big drop, requiring a rope to be set up, and then sprawled into a system of tunnels. Tango and Pearl were very excited to find an entrance to some ancient tombs a couple of hours into the dive. There were stairs leading even deeper underground, which turned out to be an entrance to a bigger cave system, with a huge frozen lake in the middle and an entrance to abandoned mines.
Further symptoms include skin turning pale, graying hair, eyes starting to shift color to red. Previous symptoms remain and intensify.
Tango had always been pale, he had blond hair too, and in the dark it was hard to notice the white streaks in them. The pink cheeks were easily passed as a result of being in the cold. Pearl did express some concerns about Tango's well-being when he started to fall back a bit, but he dismissed it as just him getting tired. By that point Pearl seemed to also have some "frost" in her hair.
After the hair have fully turned white, the tips start to switch color to an unnatural blue. Skin eventually loses color completely, turning gray. Fever intensifies as body desperately tries to fight the infection.
At that point it was impossible to deny that something was wrong with Tango. There are no mirrors underground though, so to him it was just his flu getting out of hand. Guilty of hiding his illness, yes, but nothing critical. The blue hair however were not normal, and the other two were freaking out a bit more than Tango would've hoped for.
They had an argument.
Etho snapped and hit Tango to beat some sense into his stupid head.
By that point Pearl was clearly looking bad too, and Etho's own hair were apparently turning white. They were all feeling terrible, physically and mentally. They decided to head home.
As previously stated, the cave is in fact alive and can sense when something that belongs to it is trying to escape. In an effort to stop it, the whole cave system comes to life. Old animal carcasses rise and start walking, small screeching creatures begin patrolling the tombs, the ice melts and the cave blooms in dangerous ways.
When the crew exited the mines into the second level of the cave system, it was apparent that the way back would be a lot harder. By that point Tango was struggling to stand and Etho had to drop his equipment to carry him. But the fever and the dizziness were making it hard to move fast, the changed layout of the cave was difficult to navigate even with their map, and the way to the surface was still very and very long. It was obvious they couldn't make it out....
Unless they were willing to make some sacrifices.
Etho isn't proud of his decision, but leaving Tango was their only option! He and Pearl still had a chance to escape if they moved quickly, but Tango was just too far gone, he couldn't-- Etho couldn't carry him to the exit, he was getting too tired, and if they all stuck together it would get all three of them killed! Was it not better for at least two of them to survive instead of-
They had another argument.
Pearl stubbornly insisted on taking Tango, so Etho had to lie to her and say that they will come back once they scout out the way. Etho couldn't force himself to look at Tango though, if he did he would be met with this knowing look and he just couldn't bear it. Tango cried when they were leaving.
After the body succumbs to the fever it stays dead for a short period of time, while the rest of the changes set in.
It took a miracle for both Etho and Pearl to reach the tombs, but the hard part came after. Etho did everything in his power to convince Pearl to leave with him, he said they will come back later when they're better prepared, he said it was too late to help Tango, he said it was Tango's own fault, he said many bad things, none of which were enough to change Pearl's mind. She turned back and Etho didn't follow her.
He ran through the tombs and the caves alone, losing his eye to a monster he saw all too late. It was painful and it was disorienting, Etho doesn't even remember how he got to the initial drop they went down, he was panicking and only moving forward because of adrenaline and instinct. The ascend was a fever dream, Etho doesn't know how he didn't fall to his death then.
Through the rush of blood in his head, Etho heard the faint sound of Tango's voice. Too cheery for his feverish condition, and much, much closer, a lot closer than the place they left him to die in. He did not hear Pearl. The sound stopped when it was right under him, and he felt a light tug on the rope he was hanging of. And nothing else happened...
Etho emerged from the cave into the cold night, stumbling over his own feet, too tired to run. Their van was parked over by the entrance and Gem was already waiting for him. Him — shaking, bloody and alone.
...
The body reanimates again, now obedient to the cave's will. It is no longer alive but it is not dead either, frozen, stalking through the tunnels in a mindless haze.
#trail's gone cold au#smiles :)#it's a little dry but baah whatever it's already long enough#feel free to ask about more things but i imagine a lot of them won't have answers#the au is small and more just an exploration of the concept. open ending as well#yagotalk
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Everyone’s correct in saying that now more than ever we need to be building our communities, but it can be difficult to know what that actually *means*, especially in our isolating society. So here’s some straightforward practical advice I’ve learned over the few years I’ve been organizing in my own life.
You do not have to reinvent the wheel.
There are people who have been fighting this fight for decades. You are not starting from scratch. You do not have to do it all by yourself. All you have to do is find your allies and engage.
On the ground resistance movements/aid organizations that have legs under them may not have much of a social media presence. You may have to do some legwork find your place.
Check the local papers if you have one for your area. Sign up for your city government newsletter. Go to the library and ask what events are being hosted. Check Churches! Schools! Small businesses! Ask your local old ladies!!!! They have time on their hands and know what’s going on in their communities.
It’s ok if you don’t know anything. Listen to the people around you, ask questions, be respectful and curious. Just show up!! As you do this, you will learn more about the place you’re in and the people that live there. Those people will guide you, and there’s a non-zero chance that you’ll find a mentor willing to take you under their wing.
The logistics make the movement.
Demonstrations are important and powerful, but they are NOT the be all end all. Not even close.
There are people who’s job it is to take notes, people who host meetings, and people who pick up snacks. Some folks are especially good at getting the word out through tabling and canvasing, others are better at making the pamphlets that get handed out. You could be in charge of carrying heavy boxes of donated food, or you might be better suited preparing a hot meal sitting at the table. Are you able to watch young children? Drive carpool?
All of these tasks and more are essential to maintaining a healthy community group. Don’t be afraid to try new things and experiment to figure out where you can do the most good.
Your stories are your power
One of the most effective tools in your arsenal are your testimonies. When shared with friends they remind us we are not alone in our struggles. When shared with adversaries, they are undeniable proof of our humanity. You can quote facts and statistics all day, but a personal experience will always punch above it’s weight.
Think over your life and explore questions of what your personal stake in the game is. What about your life makes you want to fight. Really dig in deep. This can be uncomfortable. I recommend doing this among friends and being gentle with yourself. You don’t have to have any particularly special reason. This isn’t supposed to be performative. You aren’t trying to get a good grade in leftism, your goal is to identify your self interest. For example, I first got involved with the tenet union because I wanted to go to college in the city but knew I couldn’t afford to live there. I first got involved with planned parenthood because I was scared when Roe v Wade overturned. These are selfish reasons, they have to be for this to work.
With that information, you are prepared to sit with other people and ask them the same thing. If you are open and willing to listen to people’s stories, a casual conversation can lead to strong bonds of friendship. And when you’re friends with someone, you fight for them. This is the core of relational organizing.
There is joy here
Organizing can be difficult. Many things are in life. But from personal experience I can tell you that not only is this work worth it, but it can be *fun*. You can sing and dance and play music and scream and laugh and you’ll do it all together. Hold onto your hope, find your joy where you can, and take the plunge. You’ll be better for it, I promise.
#us elections#us politics#community building#donald trump#kamala harris#hopepunk#if any of my posts are ever to blow up I hope it’s this one#let me know if I should add more tags
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CURB FLIRTING - LN4
summary : In which Lando finds a girl crying on the side of the road and decides to help her a bit.
listen up : this is the cutest thing i’ve ever written. no pt.2‼️
word count : 1438
⋆。‧˚⋆
Tears stream down my face, I try to control my breathing but I'm still in shock. Even though I'm sobbing, I want to laugh.
I’m sitting on a curb outside of a club, it’s gross and there’s cigarette butts by my feet. I can only smell alcohol and the scent of my vanilla perfume.
I want to rip it off my body. I try to take a deep breath but my chest hurts and I start coughing. People around me ask if I'm okay but when I nod they leave.
Until a man’s shoes appear in front of me, “Are you alright?” I look up, breathing heavily still before nodding and looking back down at his shoes. I like them.
He sits next to me, “You sure?” He has an accent. British, I think.
“No.” I laugh as he cracks a smile.
“I’m Lando.” He holds out his hand for me to shake, so I do. His ring is cold against my burning skin. When I meet his eyes again, I realize they’re green and unfairly stunning.
In fact, his whole face is stunning. He’s got curly hair, dark and mullet-ish, his clothes are light and his jewelry is nice.
“I’m Y/n.” I sniffle, wiping a tear from my face, “I like your shoes.”
He smiles again, “Thank you. I like your dress.” I glance down to my bare legs, hot and uncomfortable with the icy air. He seems to notice my body language and shrugs off his jacket, laying it over my legs.
I frown, crying more, “Hey- I didn’t mean to make it worse.” He looks genuinely worried.
“You didn’t. I’m just- Thank you.” He nods, “I’m kinda embarrassed.”
“No need. Plenty of strangers have seen me cry.” He shrugs, eyeing my hair and earrings, “You don’t need to worry though, you’re a pretty crier.”
I let out a laugh, something I haven’t done for a few hours, “I doubt you aren’t.” His presence is oddly comforting yet also awkward because I was bawling in front of him.
His smile is kind and soft while his body looks sharp and hard. “You flatter me, Y/n.” I like the way he says my name. But that could just be because of my tears.
“What’s your deal, Mr. Lando no last name?” My eyes are still wet but my tears are no longer falling, “Are those your friends?”
We both look over to the group on the other side of the road, three men staring. Lando eyes them but quickly looks back at me, “Uh, yeah.”
“Do they think a twenty four year old woman is going to hurt you?” I look at them again, “Because they sure are protective.”
He laughs, “Protective is a good word for it. Where are your friends?” This makes me frown and he sees it instantly, “Are you visiting Monaco?”
I nod, “Yeah. Are you?”
He shakes his head, “I live here.” My eyes instinctively widen at this. He looks young. I mean, he could be studying here I guess but still.
“How old are you?”
“Twenty five.” This makes my brows pull together, he laughs at this.
“Are you… rich?” I whisper it as if it’s illegal.
He leans it a bit close, “Sort of.”
I hum, “How…?”
“I’ll tell you if you come and sit in my car with me.” I raise a brow at this, crossing my arms, “I promise it’s just because I'm worried you’re gonna catch a cold.” I look at him skeptically too, “You can hold my keys if it makes you feel better.”
I stand, holding his jacket close to me as he drops his keys into my hand. I stare down at them, blink. “A McLaren?” I roll my eyes.
“An eye roll is not the usual reaction I get for that!” He starts walking and I follow him.
“Oh, so you bring all the girls you find crying in the street into your car?” He eyes me, a slight smirk on his face.
“Only the pretty ones.”
I roll my eyes, “You’re going to let a stranger take the keys to your McLaren?” He just shrugs.
“I know your name. You know mine.”
He lets me sit in the driver's seat, he turns the car on and Mamma Mia starts blasting. “Shit.” He mumbles, turning it down quickly as I giggle.
“A musical fan…?” His face is serious and definitely embarrassed. I can’t help but laugh more, “Okay, Okay. How are you, Mr. very mysterious Lando no last name, rich?”
He stretches his arms up, grinning but staying silent. Oh god. He’s fit as hell.
“Oh no.” I feel doom approaching me.
“What?” he asks.
“Don’t tell me you’re a footballer.”
He looks horrified, “An american footballer?” I did forget about that one little difference between us. “Why would I be an American footballer?”
“Well you’re-” He raises a brow as I groan, “You clearly work out.” He laughs at me. “Lando! I’m serious, you’re an athlete aren’t you? Oh god I don’t want to know. Do you play soccer? You’ve got the height for it.”
His jaw is dropped at this point, “Calling me hot then calling me short is insane!”
“I did not say, ‘hot’!” I scoff, turning towards him, “Tell me what you really do then. Are you in the Mafia?”
He sighs, leaning his head against the glass of his car. I hadn't realized before, but I'm much more comfortable here. Well, I suppose a McLaren has got to be more comfortable than a street corner.
It’s quieter and definitely warmer. Plus, I do feel safe with Lando which is a bit odd because I just met the guy.
“I’m a formula 1 driver.”
Oh?
“Oh.” I nod. I don’t know anything about motorsport so I'm a bit lost, but I guess I got my answer, “So you drive cars?”
He looks happy at my answer, his smile making my cheeks heat, “Yeah… Yeah I drive cars.”
Lando Norris.
An interesting name for an interesting man. We stay in his car for another… hour? I don’t know. I lose track of time when Lando starts telling me about everywhere he’s traveled.
He lets me rant or stay silent, something I've been waiting for all night. Or maybe all my life.
He leaves me for five minutes alone, in which I peek around his car, finding absolutely nothing but a golf ball and a bag of chips. He comes back with a smile on his face and an ask.
I move to the passenger seat, saying hi to his friends. He said that he wanted me to feel safe and after the conversation with his friends, I really do. I don’t think I've ever laughed harder at a man’s friend group.
He plays ‘Thank you for the music’ on low while I look out the window, my hair blowing in the wind.
“Hey uh-” he clears his throat, “Could I get your number? Just to check in tomorrow.” I bite my lip as he hands me his phone, smiling to myself as I type in my number.
“Dont abuse it.” I joke as he taps his finger against the wheel.
He's grinning again, “Can’t promise anything.”
I sigh, watching the city pass by me, some of the boats on the water quiet and some bright and loud. I like it here. Even if me crying had to get me in such a good mood.
“Thanks for driving me.”
“Of course, I hope to do it again, one day.”
“You know we're probably not going to see eachother again, right?” I see the corner of his mouth quirk downwards, “I’m going home tomorrow.”
“And I have access to private planes.” He shrugs as I scoff.
“Lando. I just met you. What if I was some crazy stalker?” Does this man not know stranger danger?
He eyes me, “Well, are you?”
“No…”
“So,” he glances at me, a curl falling into his face, “I'll see you soon.”
Sadly, my hotel isn’t far and when he pulls up to the front, I get an odd sensation of sadness washing over me. “Want me to walk you up?”
I shake my head, “You’ve done enough for me.” I lean over the middle console and press a soft kiss to his cheek, “Have a good night, Lando.”
“You too, Y/n.” I grab my bag, and slip out the expensive car, looking back one last time to see Lando watching me. His eyes are meaningful and something I have a feeling I won’t be forgetting anytime soon.
#fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando norris comfort#lando norris fluff#lando x you
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Hello!
I wanted to ask a question, if that's okay. So, I'm genderfluid afab and feel like a man sometimes (probably more often than I allow myself to realise). I don't have access to a Binder or anything of that sort (transphobic parents).
Is there any way for me to look/be more masculine? I'm a bit scared of goggling because I don't want to accidentally take advice from Tate people or the like.
(PS. I really like your Siegfried Farnon cosplay!)
Heya!
This is a tough one to answer. Because "masculine" means different things to different people. And "passing", as well.
Like. When I wear my fleece jacket and baseball cap, I'm deliberately passing as a certain type of man. But I felt more masculine the other day wearing an ascot.
So, I think we need to break down this question:
1) If you're looking to pass, there are going to be trans masc guides out there that will direct you to a very particular gender presentation. They tend to assume you are white and skinny. They present themselves as a list of Dos and Do-Nots, and at the end of the day, do more harm than good, imo. Because passing guides are almost always about hiding parts of yourself physically, often to the expense of hiding parts of your psyche.
Seek them out if you must, but when it comes to passing for safety, all I can suggest is ambiguous layers, a hat, keeping your head down and your mouth shut. The best way to pass is to not draw attention to yourself, alas.
2) If you're looking to dress more masculine to alleviate gender dysphoria, then you need to drill down to what makes you dysphoric and start there. My smaller feet is one area of contention for me, so I look for semi-dressy shoes that look long and elegant (like Taft boots). Since you can't get a binder, consider layers, if your chest bothers you.
3) If you're looking to dress more masculine to seek gender euphoria, then figure out your aesthetic masculine ideal. Make a pinboard of Looks you enjoy and see if there are trends. Some folks are drawn to athletic wear. Work wear. Perhaps a vintage aesthetic -- Rockabilly. 90s grunge. 1940s British country vet (meeeee, lol).
Ask yourself: What are the hallmarks of this style? Are there casual and formal versions? How does it change seasonally? How much of it is clothing and how much of it is the body (haircut, being muscular, etc)? And above all - what is this style trying to communicate to others?
Once done, see what sort of fashion tips are out there for your style. Who are the fashion experts and how much do you care about their advice? (Menswear guy has great tips about how a modern suit "should" fit, but a lot of his advice is also personal preference with a big dollop of classism.)
Pay close attention to how men wear their clothes -- where they sit on the body, how they style the outfit. Compare how a man is styled in your preferred look to how a woman is styled and see what that sparks in you. How much of it is the clothing or body? How much is posture? You might discern some visual shorthand you can harness to be read as more masculine. You might also come up with ways to have plausible deniability around your parents by being able to pivot a masculine look to be more feminine, when needed.
After all this research, get yourself to a thrift shop or other second hand option and start experimenting. Buying actual men's clothing is probably going to be your best bet, but depending on your Look Book, that may not always be the case.
No one can tell you how to feel more masculine -- that really needs to come from within. Once you figure that out, then it's a matter of reconciling your ideal look with the peculiarities of your body. (And all men have their own challenges wrt the fit of clothes.)
Afford yourself as much grace as possible when it comes to your body. And again, remember that feeling more masculine and passing more masculine may not always overlap and could even be at odds. And only you can determine if and when that is a problem.
#trans stuff#ty about Siegfried - his aesthetic is one I've been chasing most my life#so he is def my personal masculine ideal and his clothes are now more than cosplay for me
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