#if you are not autistic + relate to this feel free to just replace autistic w whatever u want in ur mind

[genderkoolaid]

i don't know what autistic person needs to hear this but they are not watching you. the entire world is not constantly waiting for you to do something weird and laugh at you behind your back. you do not need to constantly self-police whenever there's the slightest chance another person might see you. you have a right to be your autistic self in public spaces. stop fighting yourself for their sake.

[asher-agere]

Hello BSD fans! I’ve just read chapter 120 and I am very concerned. I’ll explain my thoughts under the cut… But you get headcanons as I try to cope!

Thoughts: Akutagawa really showed up just to die didn’t he? He didn’t even get like turned to bubbles and slurped up. He just died- Again- Asagiri leave him alone (╥﹏╥) Also Fyodor really is just thinking about Dazai isn’t he? Last chapter he was very much like “Atsushi you can replace this bandaged disgrace” Then Atsushi had his knight in shining armor show up and Fyodor’s like “Fine whatever. I have to catch a flight. To France. To see Dazai again. Later losers” Like bro? (╥﹏╥) Anyway. My final thought, aka what inspired this post. WHERE IS RANPO GIVE HIM BACK HIS DAD MIGHT DIE

Little Ranpo

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

✦ Ranpo wants all the sweets ever! Someone had better be watching him or he’ll give himself a tummy ache. He’ll probably give himself a tummy ache anyway, but his caregiver should try to prevent it! Ranpo can just be really sneaky. He’ll find out where the candy is and just help himself… Good luck to whatever caregiver has to deal with that

✦ When he’s regressed Ranpo gets very self conscious. He can’t think as well and his intelligence is his best asset! Without it… What’s he worth? He’ll desperately try putting on his glasses but he only gets even more worked up when they don’t work. The best solution is to shower him in praise and give him easy puzzles and tasks to do! If he can complete some kind of baby puzzle he feels incredibly accomplished

✦ SENSORY ISSUES. Ranpo is soooo Autistic guys. I think he’d get overwhelmed very easily. His clothes can be so itchy and all the noise is just so overwhelming and he’s hungry and cold and- Just to much! Tantrums happen very easily. The best solution is to give him a lollipop and start taking care of issues! Give him some noise cancelling headphones, change his clothes, give him a blanket. Soon he’ll be all better!

✦ I don’t think Ranpo would like pacifiers or teething toys much. He’ll argue candy would work better. If he wants to suck on something why can’t he have a lollipop? If he wants to bite and chew why not some soft candy? He knows it makes sense, he’s a smart baby! Now give him the candy

✦ Ranpo will be such a polite and well mannered baby! … Until he doesn’t get his way. He’ll be all smiles, walk up to his caregiver and hold out his hand “Candy? Pre’y please?” If his caregiver says no then he’ll pout and go away. Then not come back. This baby can hold a grudge. He’ll hide under his desk. Does he want to be held? Obviously. But he wants candy! The best compromise is to give him juice or milk if they’re in a time crunch. But if there’s time his caregiver should just sit nearby on the floor continuing their work. Don’t give in. Eventually Ranpo will come crawling out. It’ll just take multiple hours

✦ Even if he’s a baby this is still the world’s greatest detective! Puzzles and Rubik’s cubes are a babies best friend. He always wants to watch a detective cartoon! He’ll solve the mystery just a few minutes into the episode then happily babble to his caregiver about all the evidence that he found and how easy it was to solve! If they’ve been watching for awhile and he’s getting bored he might ask for a reward for being so super smart! Candy of course

✦ He also loves cats! He wants cat plushies and cute cat themed outfits! He’s obsessed with the Nyan Cat. It’s a sweet treat and a cat! What’s not to love? He will babble the song for hours. He finds it entertaining and doesn’t really care he’s annoying everyone else to death. It’s a fun song! What’s wrong with that?

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

Yay baby Ranpo! (Please come save us Ranpo where are you) As you can tell, I do read the BSD manga! If you wanna chat, feel free to message me! If you have requests relating to it? Feel free to send them!

[build-a-bear-altershop]

Name: (please give us a few options :) )

Age: 18

Gender: Boyspike

Pronouns: He/Him,  Skunk/Skunk’s,  Hx/Hxm,  (Please add more)

Orientation: Gay & Abromantic

Species: Skunk human hybrid

Role: Chaos alter (like college frat guy chaos but not frat guy just so himbo coded)

Cis-Ids: Black hair, White hair (has a thick white stripe down the center of his hair like a skunk), College student, Pot head, Darker skin, Autistic, ADHD, Larger build (like a teddy bear almost feel free to add more :) )

Trans-Ids: TransAccent, TransMUDhoader, TransAnxiety, TransTics, TransTourettes, TransNeedy, PermaAttention (feel free to add a lot more including TransHarmful’s and  TransHarmed just nothing to extreme like heavy abuse related stuff and really hateful things but SH is fine with us)

Likes: Weed, Alcohol, Going on rants about his hyperfixation, Being outside, & being given attention (feel free to add more :) )

Dislikes: Disrespectful people (he cannot stand them in the slightest also feel free to add more)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessories

Source: N/A

Typing quirk: maybe a light typing quirk? Like double letters of a certain kind or something like s - z or O - 0 (we can’t decide if we want one or not so maybe give a few ideas)

Sign off: 🦨

From one BAH to another goodluck take as much time as needed

-The Garden.  (@the-transid-gacha)

This guy is such a cutie! Very glad you came to me 💙

Name: Titus/Tito, Jax, Jayden, Liam, Levi, Ellis

Age: 18

Gender: Boyspike

Pronouns: He/Him, Skunk/Skunk's, Hx/Hxm, Peh/Pehm, Thon/Thons, Vae/Vaer/Vaem, Vel/Velvet

Orientation: Gay & Abromantic

Species: Skunk human hybrid

Role: Chaos alter (like college frat guy chaos but not frat guy just so himbo coded)

Cis-Ids: Black hair, White hair, College student, Pot head, Darker skin, Autistic, ADHD, Larger build, Back Pain, Red Green Colorblindness (because he’s part skunk)

Trans-Ids: TransAccent, TransMUDhoader, TransAnxiety, TransTics, TransTourettes, TransNeedy, PermaAttention, TransCaneuser, TransHyper

Likes: Weed, Alcohol, Going on rants about his hyperfixation, Being outside, & being given attention, Hyperpop and Breakcore, Bugs and insects

Dislikes: Disrespectful people (he cannot stand them in the slightest), Strong perfumes, baths and swimming

Typing quirk: Feel free to mix and match from any of these! Doubles up Es, Replaces As with 4; Rs with 2; and Os with 0, Replaces Ws with uu and Vs with u, Doubles up Zs

Example 1: Thee quick brown fox jumps oveer thee lazy dog

Example 2: The quick br0wn f0x jumps 0ve2 the l4zy d0g

Example 3: The quick brouun fox jumps ouer the lazy dog

Example 4: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazzy dog

Sign off: 🦨

picrew

- mod 🐠

[humanoidchaos]

I just had a non-good day and I'm a little bit brown and maybe poisoned.

In my building there were THREE potassium permanganate incidents in one day!

The first one is on me. I dropped the open jar with a potassium permanganate solution (liquid) onto the floor. My colleagues cleaned the floor while I washed my pants and shoes. On our floor's main toilet. While in socks, underwear, shirt and sunglasses (photosensitively autistic) (told everyone my normal glasses had to b). They are still brown with manganese oxide because fuck me.

The second one was a consequence of my actions but in no way my fault. I wanted to replace the potassium permanganate I dropped so I go downstairs to buy some more of the purple solid. The woman at the desk takes the jar, walks to the back shuffles around for a while... 'Oh no!' She overshot by a lot. No big deal, she can sweep it up.

The third was the logical conclusion to the lab party of clowns. As I turn the cap I can hear it grind against the sand texture of the permanganate so I move over to the sink, it can handle mild chemical waste. I turn the cap more and open the jar to reveal it filled to the brim with purpleish black sand. It's all over the jar now, it's making a deep purple puddle in the sink, it. is. on. my. hands.

The strongest purple you can imagine. It won't come off. It will turn brown if in contact with an oxidizing agent. My skin can oxidize. The potassium permanganate is now reacting with my skin to manganese oxide, the brown rock chemical that will never wash out of my pants.

My hands are brown, I might be a little poisoned, my pants are ruined, and cleaning up my own mess took me a day. A colleague saw me bare-legged washing my pants in the sink and made smalltalk about lab accidents and the irreversible stains on my pants.

This was a bad day. But here is an assortment of potassium permanganate related thoughts:

ourple

Hvorfor er jeg lila

Braunstein :(

I am transitioning from william afton to purple guy to a 1800-1900s actor playing a slave

Kaliumpermanganat :(

Fuck potassium permanganate, copper sulfate is my favorite color now

Feel free to transcribe my purple text into greentext or make memes about my horrific experience as I will now enjoy my weekend to spite the permanganate!

[mach1ne-g1rl]

Saw your most recent post on dhmis and tma and I've got opinions to say I believe Computers is an Eye episode because Colin's whole deal is stealing personal info and being smart but its not my strongest I see Jobs as a buried because while it doesn't involve much claustrophobia its more about harmful workplaces and overworking which ties in with the buried in a symbolic sense. I will argue so strongly Death is an End episode. The End is LITERALLY the fear of death smh. While I can see the argument its a Stranger because of Stain Edwards the theme of death is so strong that it isn't that relevant. I see Family as both Stranger and Corruption, Stranger because the whole episode feels very uncanny with the design of the family and set being a "real" place. It's also Corruption because the episode is about toxic family relations. I still cannot believe how you thought Friendship was originally a Vast episode. While I can see why you would assign it Lonely it's clearly a Corruption, it's literally about toxic friendships. Also bugs. Tbh i don't know what to assign to Transport my closest guess is Vast but my argument isn't very strong Electricity is a hard one, I don't think i can assign it to one entity. I think Electracey is a Extinction avatar because she's a robot and the "everything in the home will be plugged in and part of the electric family" line. I could see Charged Yellow being either Eye, Stranger or Extinction. Eye because he's want to find the truth and also green eyes, Stranger because Yellow gets replaced, and Extinction because he gets replaced using specifically technology. The power outage is probably Dark because darkness. Lesley is a Web avatar, I will fight you on this. She's controlling them, she's the literal puppet master. You said that Lesley isn't the main one pulling the string making her less Web aligned but I would argue that makes her MORE web aligned because she's knows she's not fully in control. I interpret becoming a web avatar as not only being manipulative, but accepting your lack of free will. As Annabelle said in 147, "let it never be said that I do not dance the steps I am assigned." Sorry this is long and probably sounds a little rude i just have very strong opinions on tma and dhmis have a lovely day

COmputer being eye was also on my first post but i removed it bc i didnt think it was part of the big Fear factor ? but the way you phrased it does make it work

jobs being buried makes sense too !! my main reason for it being spiral is just Duck calling everything out and then Also going weird ? and then going back to "this is all wrong" very strongly (also the episode is reminiscent of Sculptor's Tool to me with only duck pointing out how this is Odd)

death SHOULD be end ur right , i just didnt think anyone in dhmis seemed very scared of the Death there ? so i thought it wasnt very important but Yeah when you mention it its definitely end ty (Or desolation bc it also feels like . theyre more focused on the grief of losing someone n not the Fear of Death ? if that makes sense=? but i dont rly get the End and Desolation anyway so)

CORRUPTION FOR FAMILY IS SO RIGHT i think i considered corruption for it at one point but i second guessed myself enough to remove it again . and stranger never reallly seemed correct to me but it was the closest and i had no one to discuss with so i ran with it:sob:

IM SORRYY LSITEN OK i hadnt listened to tma in full when i made the first list. i just read the entities wiki page and heard season 5 ..!!!! honestly idk if i agree with corruption bc , while thats probably the deeper meaning of the episode (toxic friends) warren always seemed like just an autistic asshole to me so i never saw the whole . toxic thing ? and he never really actually seemed friends with any of them ?? yea taking advantage of their kindness but i wouldnt call it a toxic relationship bc there never Was a Relationship to me (probably factually wrong n im being ignorant here but its my list and blehh :P im biased towards warren) and im probably just forgetting something bc i havent rewatched it in a while but are there bugs besides warren (are worms bugs)?

transport i assigned Web bc red guy being like . aware of the whole They're Trapped There thing and trying to escape and Lonely bc they're trying to get to other people/ civilization/ community but are just . stuck ? and in some episodes the lonely just takes ppl to endless places that they cant leave (cul-de-sac is the only one i remember) and it just (again) reminded me of that

ELECTRICITY /SHOULLD/ be more than 1 or 2 very true but i just Really hate assigning more than 2 to these idk why ive set that rule for myself but it just feels wrong, disorderly and i dont like it . but yes i can see electracey being extinction (tbh i feel like teachers being avatars/ assinging them patrons/fears could be a whole other list itself) Charged Yellow being stranger i disagree. yes hes replaced but it feels more like . if s1 jon got replaced by s5 jon ? does that make sense ? I HAD DARK For this episode too bc the power outage but it didnt feel like a big fear factor here ? and i just didnt think it was significant enough (the dumb self-imposed rule) Lesley IS web coded i completely forgot annabelle for a second when i made this :sob: ive had too much michael on my mind and i thought being trapped wasnt enough of a theme here ? not like it was in Transport or like Dreams but yea it definitely should be Web

IM GLAD this is long i like hearing other ppls thoughts and input on this silly stuff (it did sound a little rude at times but dw i get it) I think at the end of the day the way we judge these is just Very different? Unless you disagree, i dont think the web series is this "up for debate" as the tv show is bc it just has . Less. There's maybe 3 lines at the start, then the teacher comes in and starts singing about what they embody, then the horrors and the end (only the last 3 episodes rly made me question which Power would be associated with them bc it kinda follows a plot so they could all a little be taken as web and lonely with red guy?) Theres just so many more ways the TV show can be interpreted. These could be judged on the Teacher, the Lesson, the thing that scares the characters, the thing that scares the Audience, symbolism/manifestations, etc. (i think i just went with whatever seemed the most relevant to me / what scared the characters ? but i was also being pretty inconsistent there lmao) i feel like there would probably have to be multiple lists or just one BIG list of everything that could count as one of the entities ? or maybe im blowing this out of proportion and its really simple for you, and only i struggled with this :,) either way it was fun ! and i think thats all that matters maybe the real dhmis tma entities assigning list were the friends we made along the way aww

[larkiethings]

I have a ton of hobbies but I want to tell you about one in particular. this will be long.

I was in the school band in middle school and high school and I played french horn. I was pretty decent at it, I made honor band and got first chair my sophomore year (but the other horn player had braces so like not super prestigious, but not bad either). Then I studied abroad and didn't have time to take band bc I had to focus on ~academics~ to get out of high school on time, didn't have my own instrument or much free time in college so I stopped playing. I was never good enough to join a professional (or semi professional) group and didn't think it was worth it to spend a couple thousand dollars on an instrument that I don't have a reason to play. But i missed it. Music has always been super important to me and it used to be my favorite thing in the world, and while I love crocheting and stuff it felt really bad to think about how all my favorite hobbies, the ones that I made a part of my identity, just weren't accessible to me as an adult. I may have sobbed on the couch for like 3 hours as it hit me just how much of my ennui is related to various group activities that I used to do but don't anymore, not because I stopped liking them but because I simply don't have access. While it's true that many arts and extracurriculars are criminally underfunded in schools, it feels even harder to find some of the same group activities as an adult - we seem to think that if you're not good enough to be a Professional, then you don't deserve to participate at all (and in the case of most concert bands, even the professionals can't afford to live on their art)

Anyway. I got a new job, working in the same building as some of the executives at my company (which I don't wanna doxx myself but it's not your standard corporate hellscape, we technically work for the state and also a larger parent organization so these guys are directors, not CEOs). One of the directors plays horn and practices at work, down in a little used computer room off our tiny library. I've tried chatting with this guy before but he's like. autistic in an old man with a PhD way. I haven't gotten far with him. I am friends with our librarian though so I go say hi after clocking in one morning and he's there practicing, so when he comes out she compliments him on his playing. I remark that I used to play back in high school.

Immediately this man says more words to me than I've ever heard him say. He shows me his two horns, describing all the customization he did on his Yamaha (a cheap but reliable model) and then all the fancy aspects about his other brand that was much more expensive (like 10k for this instrument). then he says that I can play the Yamaha. I say okay I'll go buy a mouthpiece and he says don't bother I have million. He promises to bring in training materials for me and easy level workbooks for me to practice. He finds different shaped mouthpieces and insists that I take the horn home with me and start practicing right away.

He doesn't even know my name.

I know this bc I hear him talking about me the next week (after he gives me the workbooks) and I hear him referring to me as "the new (retired predecessor), but not (the second person they hired to replace my predecessor bc she did the work of 3 people), the other one". I went into work one friday expecting it to be just as slow and unremarkable as every other friday. And I came out of work with an instrument to take home, a promise of accessible practice materials, and encouragement that 12 years without playing is not that much time and I'll pick it all back up.

Anyway there's an ensemble that he thinks is beneath him but he's gotten convinced to play first chair in, and he's got a spot for me if I think I can manage the part. He stops and talks to me about every other day about how I'm progressing. He's even learned my name!

that tiktok that’s like “name a single hobby of yours outside of media consumption” she got em a bit why lie

[drizzileiscool]

pinned post

TERFS, RACISTS, LGBT-PHOBES, PEDOS AND PROSHIPPERS, KINDLY FUCK RIGHT OFF!

(nsfw accounts as well but I'm not as angry at you. but if you post drizzile nsfw then get the fuck away from me)

edit: this post is outdated and will be replaced by an in-character post soon!!

yo! welcome to drizzileiscool, one of the only drizzile propaganda accounts to exist (that is currently still active at the time of writing this)

here you will see me post and reblog things related to drizziles, the best emo middle stage water starter from galar!

occasionally I will also post some things related to my personal life (as well as things that aren't drizziles due to this being my only blog and I want to interact with more people), but if you're only here for the funny persona 3 lizard, you can filter out #not drizzile

this blog is mainly sfw but I will occasionally post some mentions of suggestive stuff as well as a small amount of nsfw jokes (if they're funny enough to warrant me rb'ing them)

blog owner is a minor, please do not talk to me about anything nsfw unless it is related to the conversation

About the blog owner: I am non binary, use any pronouns, and im also bisexual and autistic. I mainly go by either drizzile or sig, but drizzile is preferred if you don't know me from twitter

i will also occasionally be a drizzile if it's funny

if you want to see more(?) of me not posting drizziles however, you can also follow my twitter at sigpuyopuyo

read my carrd btw

tags under the cut

not drizzile - personal stuff, as well as things that, y'know, aren't drizziles. reblogs of other people will not be tagged because I'm too lazy

ideas of drizzile - interesting ideas for different things I want to be real (but aren't)

drizzile is liveblogging - liveblogging things like games, shows, anime, and movies. will definitely clog up your dash so feel free to blacklist this

drizzileposting - pretending to be a drizzile or just interacting with pkmn irl blogs while I'm in character (this tag is no longer being used)

tw suggestive - mentions of suggestive stuff, as well as suggestive/nsfw jokes and memes (posts will probably be deleted if I feel like people don't want to see them, but I will gladly delete them if asked to!)

drizzile tagging tag - me creating tags (ironically this tag wasn't actually made by me lol. it was created by thatoneguy031) (too shy to actually tag you but if you see this congrats you made this tag)

hey future drizzile you should draw this - ideas of things I want to draw but couldn't draw at the time of posting

a Drizzile's Diary - the thing I wrote, originally just a small backstory thing for the (now gone) pkmn irl side of this blog. a human hears about a rumor at school that you can no-clip into the mystery dungeon universe, does exactly that, and wakes up as a drizzile with no memories and only the diary they were holding when they no-clipped. this is no longer canon to the pkmn irl side of this account

important - things that I consider important to this blog, such as announcements

tw politics - references to politics

vent - me being pissed off and depressed

[blergeatkitty]

I wish I had taken “Before” pictures, because the underneath-the-kitchen-sink was super disgusting.

Imagine an under-sink area that was disgusting to begin with, with cracked white melamine where the idiot previous tenant had overtightened a bunch of screws, and full of nasty gunge and bunches of grease-stained cleaning products and stuff.

When I moved in (ten years ago, woo!) I had just gotten the divorce papers signed and stamped and had moved here while the X stayed in our fancy old place, rent-free, with her midlife crisis downgrade, Neanderthal-boy.

Psychologically speaking, the technical term for my state of mind at the time was “FUCKED”, but the DSM-V clarifies this as “hot mess with a side order of grief, dejection, and treatment-resistant depression. Also an inglorious helping of self-pity”.

Recently, after years of uncoiling the hot mess, two autistic and depression related work meltdowns that had me on disability for a year and a half in total, a number of different treatments that didn’t work, one that nearly drove me to self-harm (eek!) one that FINALLY worked (you wouldn’t think it, but it was a new research project involving an intravenous ketamine protocol and if you send an ask I’ll be happy to oblige with that story), a bunch of self-care work a truly hip and fantastic psychiatrist, and a few supplements, I finally FINALLY found my SPOOOOOOOONS!

Like, energy, folx.

I found my GAS. My Giving A Shit.

It had returned.

I had enough energy to look around and start thinking about improving my environment, in other words.

It started with my daughter’s room about a month or so back.

She turned 18 a little while ago (yeah, poor kid han’t even turned 8 when all this horrible shot first went down) and moved into her own place with a friend so I took the opportunity to turn her mess (no judgment, it was just a regular teenage mess, nothing special, and I was not about to call her out on it because [gestures helplessly to rest of untidy place that I should have been cleaning had I the spoons] of a room into something she would enjoy coming back to visit anytime (and it would make a tidy guest room and bathroom area as well).

But today I found time to do something strictly for Me.

My kitchen.

And it started with wanting to put up some wall decals to brighten the atmosphere a little. But the walls and cupboards had a thin (cough, decade-old, cough) coating of neglectful grease on them that made me stop before I even got started.

So I pushed a pebble down a hill full of snow and yeah, it avalanched. Looney Tunes style.

No. Malcolm in the Middle style!

Https://YouTu.be/AbSehcT19u0

Wiping down a counter made me realize the spice rack had a greasy feel to it.

Cleaning the spice rack made me think of wiping down the backsplash behind it.

Which made me notice the microwave.

Which led me to notice the OVEN. (Ew).

And the oven and microwave lights needed replacing.

From like, ten years ago.

Cleaning a cupboard surface made me realize the side of the fridge was dirty. Cleaning the fridge made me realize the floor needed mopping and the grout was dirty and gross looking.

And from where I sat scrubbing floor tile. I noticed the sink.

Specifically, the underside of the sink.

And I REALLY should have taken a Before picture because no description I can provide will truly give it Justice.

But here’s a 1000-word substitute for what the upgrade looks like, and I’m sooper-proud of myself:

And the rest of the kitchen looks nice too:

And I even went to the hardware store to get new fluorescent lights for the main lighting because it had been too long since a couple had burned out and needed replacing.

And yeah, I didn’t forget the whole reason I started this avalanche of home care.

I even put up one of the new decals. (The onion, not the birds).

[trans-leek-cookie]

I dont have any specific religious beliefs but I do think inanimate objects have something akin to what we would think of as a human soul but constructed differently in that human souls have death as part of their cycle due to emotions and such meaning they need to rest at some point whether permanent or temporary whereas the "souls" of objects cannot feel in a human way but still have their own meaning, but do not need rest in the way human souls do. Anyways whatever soul is in my pink dolphin plushie is older than time itself I think.

[italian-wall-lizard]

here's my two cents on the recent overturning of roe vs wade:

as i'm guessing all of you know, roe vs wade is a law protecting abortion rights throughout the country (supported by 67% of people living in america), recently overturned after fifty years by these five shitbag "pro-lifers" of the supreme court (with, might i add, an average age of 61), three of which were appointed by our former president, donald trump:

amy coney barrett (nominated by trump): the woman who was appointed by trump in october 2020, going against ruth bader ginsburg's dying wish to wait until the election was over to replace her- also worth mentioning that she didn't know the five rights of freedom in the first amendment of the constitution

clarence thomas: an accused rapist who recently said that in light of the roe vs wade overturning, they should reconsider the laws protecting gay marriage, gay relations, and contraception i.e. birth control, plan b, condoms, etc

samuel alito: accused of sexually abusing a 14 year old, as well as writing against the majority opinion in the obergefell vs hodges case in 2015 (the one that legalized gay marriage). he also suggested that the reason that a team of nearly all white firefighters were denied promotions because of a plot between the mayor of new haven and a black preacher, which just. what

brett kavanaugh (appointed by trump): accused three times of sexual misconduct, one of which was him thrusting his penis at a girl while drunk at a party at yale, another of which he forced a different girl down on a bed, groped her, tried to take her clothes off, and covered her mouth so she couldn't scream for help until another man came into the room and stopped it

neil gorsuch (appointed by trump): voted in favor of the thompson r2-j school district in the thompson r2-j school district vs luke p. case, which was essentially the school district refusing to provide reimbursement for denying luke, an autistic boy, the education that he needed to be able to, quote, "generalize his skills", as well as voting in favor of UPS in the strickland vs UPS case which was when carole strickland accused UPS of being sexist towards her for making her attend one on one meetings with the supervisor telling her to do better even though she made 93-104% of her sales quota and there were many other people (men) in the office who were making less of their sales quota, not denied assistance when they made less than 100% of their sales quota, never called in to have meetings with their supervisor, and weren't counselled at all for poor performance

these five near corpses have made a single decision that will ruin the lives of millions of women (or anyone with a uterus) for decades. these so called pro-lifers are SO pro-life that they've decided that instead of letting you abort a literal fetus who cannot think or feel, they'll wait until the kid goes to school and let mass shooters kill them off because they refuse gun-control. these so called pro-lifers are so incredibly pro-life that they won't do anything to fix the dozens of problems in the foster care system. these so called pro-lifers won't provide paid maternal leave or free healthcare so that the mother doesn't have to work her ass off to pay for having the goddamn baby you forced her to have. these so called pro-lifers will force you to have a baby and say they care about it, until the baby's gay. or trans, or black, or jewish, or disabled, or anything that isn't a straight white christian abled conservative man. "but if the mother's life is in danger then they'll be able to get an abortion!" did you know that the only states to have an "exception" for abortion if the mothers life is in danger are texas, louisiana, idaho, and oklahoma? the laws state that in texas an abortion can happen if it is a "medical emergency", in louisiana it states that an exception could happen if there could be "death or a substantial risk of death", in idaho it states that an exception could happen if it would "prevent the death of a pregnant woman", and oklahoma states that an exception could happen if it was "in a medical emergency". all of these laws are so incredibly vague that it makes me want to slap the governor's of these states across the face. how about if a woman had a 20% chance of dying, texas? is that enough of an emergency for you? because the chance is never 0%, and it's never 100%. it seems to me that these lawmakers are so "pro-life" that they don't care that over 800 women die from maternity related incidents every YEAR. that's not very pro-life of you, is it?

this goes directly against the first amendment. if you don't know what it is, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." did you notice that it said "congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion"? let me put it in simple terms for the five dinosaur aged supreme court members who voted against roe; SEPARATE CHURCH FROM STATE. did you know that all five of the justices who voted to overturn roe are christian? this is not to say all christians are bad, far from it. but a hell of a lot of the political leaders who are christian sure like to reference what the second amendment says about "right to bear arms" but never seem to mention the first that tells them to get your fucking bible out of my rights. NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO GET AN ABORTION!!!! if you think it goes against the bible, cool! don't get one! no one is forcing it onto you! if it goes against your religion, okay. that's chill, but for the people who aren't christian? or the people who are but who interpret the bible differently? they can get an abortion if they want! if in the future i want to get an abortion, i shouldnt be stopped because "well the bible says this" because i am not a christian!! i do not believe in god!! and while pro-lifers talk about what the bible says, they completely ignore that other religions exist. judaism has a law that if the mothers life is in danger, they must abort the baby because the mother's life is more important than the unborn baby's. the pilgrims came to america for religious freedom, to separate from the laws that forced them to be apart of the church of england. freedom was always supposed to be the basis of america, and that includes the right to not be christian.

you talk of what the founding fathers would say, and this is my response: the founding fathers were a bunch of old white men from the 1700s that believed in slavery and didn't have running water. before you ask what the founding fathers would have wanted, put your smart phone down. turn off your electricity. turn off running water. get rid of anything invented after 1788. now, think: these were the conditions the founding fathers were under while writing the constitution. we've made a couple inventions since 1788, no? why shouldn't we have different opinions? just because they decided they should be the ones to write a paper that controlled everything that everyone in america did doesn't mean they were good people, or even decently smart people. slavery is bad, yes? well they sure as hell didn't think so. that makes them BAD PEOPLE. let me spell it out for you if you didn't pass the third grade, which i'm guessing a lot of the justices didn't: b-a-d-p-e-o-p-l-e

this was never about "pro-life" or abortion or saving children's lives. this was always about control, money, and now we're stuck in this dystopia of a country. are you happy now, amy coney barrett? are you happy that millions of lives around the country are now in danger because you wanted to save the lives of a couple of fetuses the size of literal jelly beans with no brain power? look at what you've done. i hope you live to see the day the consequences this will cause, cause there's going to be a hell of a lot of them.

this post goes out to the thousands of women who have died from at-home abortions. you can't stop abortions, you can only ban safe ones.

[gothichorrorshow]

Typing quirks 

I have decided to do a post on typing quirks because I'm seeing more of them recently. So this is just my ramblings on this.

TQ = typing quirk

Now first of all, what are typing quirks? I guess it can be described as certain typing characteristics.  

TQs can be using random symbols or numbers for letters, replacing letters with other letters, random punctuation in sentences, and more. (I will not show samples as I can't read most of them) 

Speaking of not able to read them, that's the main argument against TQs. They're inaccessible to anyone with trouble processing words (dyslexics, autistics) and to screen readers. 

Now, why cause the trouble of accessibility issues? There's a couple reasons people who use TQs have given. 

Some people use TQs because they get joy from typing that way or it feels more natural. (often neurodivergents, not always) And some people just like the way it looks. 

It's also related to fandom cultures (Homestuck) and leet speak.

Some people claim it's ableist to use them at all, and some think it's ableist to tell people to drop them. But keep in mind some who use them are neurotypical.

For accessibility reasons, some users add translations. Translations are where they retype the TQ text in plain text. 

Translations are better than nothing, but they still aren't perfect solutions. A screen reader would still read the TQ text before the translation.

Also for longer posts, translations can add tons text to the post. This may make it intimidating to read for someone with trouble processing text.  

So what do I think on this? Are typing quirks always bad?

On this one I'm gonna take a middle ground. Feel free to use TQs privately with friends!

Online TQs are fine, but preferably add translations. At least give translations when asked.

Do not use TQs when using disabled or neurodivergent tags. That's just basic accommodation and respect. Don't even use it with translations.

But otherwise they're just harmless internet stuff. If you're willing to accommodate it's fine to use them, but you must be able to add translations.

[miaulogy]

Hello Michi!! Feel free to answer this or not, but what is it like for you to be an autistic person? I'm making/drawing/writing an autistic character and I'm gathering as much info as i can to not cross any bounderies/not be problematic/not be stereotypical. Thank you :)

thanks for asking! i'm really happy you're doing research :3 /gen

so, my experience isn't the same as every autistic person's of course, so if any autistic person doesn't relate that doesn't mean they're faking! we're all different ^^ /gen

i think that as a child, i would get angry REALLY easily, i couldn't control my anger well at all and my mom would just lock me up in my room to not have to deal with me

so, my first reaction would be to break stuff like my books and throw things like pillows across the room

but i've learned to control my anger a lot better now! sometimes i just take a bath and cry a little and i feel a whole lot better :]

i also feel like i can't really understand when people are being serious and when they're joking, my grandma sometimes makes jokes when talking to me and i don't really get if they're jokes or if she actually means it, yk?

i also play a lot with my fingers and can't seem to focus on one thing at a time; when a teacher is talking, i can't just look at them and take all the information, i always have to look at them while doing something else with my hands

so, to do that i focus on the main thing i have to do: listening to my teacher, but if i try to only focus on them i will eventually have thoughts that will distract me from listening because i always do two things at the same time (in this case, listening and thinking), so i play with my hands to replace the thinking part with something less distracting that allows me to listen

does that make sense? lolol ^^"

anyways, when i get interested in something i can't stop thinking of it, a new show comes into my life and i relate everything i do and see to it, seemingly being unable to get it out of my head

that's actually great for creating content, it's really easy for me to make drawings and headcanons when hyperfixated on that thing, but it's very common for me to have trouble sleeping because my mind can't shut up about my fave characters, i usually lay on my bed completely tired and about to sleep but then all the thoughts about my hyperfixation come all at once and i'm completely exhausted physically but mentally i can't stop thinking!! it has taken me hours just to fall asleep, or even close my eyes :(

and oh god!! the sensory issues!!! /neg

i remember being a 7 year old lil guy and scratching the (cement) wall of my room, oh god that made me want to pull my nails off!! i hate the texture of cement walls, i can't pass my fingers through them without biting my tongue and stuff, it's just such a terrible texture! it feels so dry!!

i also remember having trouble with putting on my uniform, i had (and still have) to use a white sweater that had a texture so bad that it would make me cry whenever my mom tried to put it on me! it's a dry texture similar to cement wall's, since i had to pass it through my head to put it on it would asphyxiate me! i simply couldn't stand wearing it, i usually go to school with a random black sweater and with my school's jacket over it (we have a sweater and a jacket with the logo and we can choose which to wear)

on the gender part, i think autism has really affected my way of interpreting it

like, gender is a social construct, and i get why people identify as women or men or non-binary or something else entirely, or maybe in between some of these, but it's hard to get it for myself, especially as a plural

you see, everyone describes knowing their gender in a very complex way, but i just see the words "boy", "enby", and "xenic" and they make me happy, and that's just it, yk?

but if someone asked me what a boy is, what an enby is, or what a xenic is and why i identify as such, i couldn't answer, because i just really don't know JDJSJKS

hmm, i think that would be pretty much it, i really can't separate myself from any of my disorders, they're simply part of who i am ^_^

thanks for reading, have a nice day! /gen

[neon-slime]

Hello! I wanted to ask about abled actors playing disabled characters. This whole s*a thing got me thinking about What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. At the time when I first watched this film, I held a lot of respect for Leonardo DiCaprio for doing so much intensive research for that role (I’m not sure if I remember correctly, but I believe he spent months with autistic teens and other disabled peoples in preparation for this role). But now that I’ve heard that every disabled character played by an abled actor is very detested among autistics, I wanted to know what people thought of this movie and how people may feel of DiCaprio’s involvement in it (as I now am aware of the fact that it has a negative impact). And thank you so much for teaching me and many other people about this!

Hello! Thank you for reaching out. I'm definitely not an expert on the subject and I can't speak for the entire disabled community, but I'll do my best to give you my thoughts.

First thing I'd like to get out of the way, I haven't seen What's Eating Gilbert Grape so I'll start with that then talk about abled actors playing disabled characters in general. (I did watch a clip from the film just to get a general idea).

The second thing I’d like to address is that not every autistic person considers autism a disability. That fits their experience. I personally consider it as such for myself due to the way it impacts my life, so for the purpose of this ask, I’ll be using ‘disabled’.  

Regarding Leo’s specific participation in the movie What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, I have seen some people talk about how they really enjoyed his performance and others disliked it. It came out over 20 years ago so I can't speak to how people felt about it at the time, or now because I don't know anyone who saw that movie. Below I go into some of the thoughts I have about representation and some of the reactions I’ve seen to abled actors playing disabled characters and I hope you’ll see how it relates to your question regarding Leo’s involvement. 

I’ll start by saying the issue with abled actors playing disabled characters is nuanced, as is most things in this question. Part of the problem is, when you cast abled actors to play disabled characters, you are taking roles away from disabled actors. Disabled actors often struggle to find work due to discrimination. Many disabled actors only get cast in projects where their disability is the main focus of their characters story, which greatly impacts the number of roles they'd be considered for. By giving abled actors roles that a disabled actor would be better suited for, you're continuing to push a whole demographic out of the industry.

This leads into another part of the problem. People will continue to make movies and tv shows about disabled people, but it’s often done without our input. Often these projects have an underlying tone of “How sad for their parents/partner/siblings/friends that their child/spouse/sibling/friend can’t be ‘normal’”, or inspiration porn, “look how they don’t ‘let their disability hold them back.’” A lot of these messages are very ableist and reinforce the idea the disabled people are a burden, or that disabled people shouldn’t ‘let their disability hold them back.’ This narrative is harmful because it puts all the responsibility onto the disabled person while assuring able-bodied people that no accommodations need to be made for disabilities. If I’m super fatigued, no amount of believing in myself will suddenly make me able to clean the house. If your venue doesn’t have a ramp or accessible  washrooms, no amount of “believing in themselves” will help someone who needs mobility aids to get inside. 

Which also means the movies made about us are not made for us, but for an abled audience. Another facet of this problem is they often don’t hire disabled folks to take part at all levels of the film-making process. Stories about disabled people are often not written, directed, produced, or filmed by disabled creators which just feeds ableist narratives of disabled folks. It also causes a problem because the characters often don’t have a personality outside of their disability. 

Another part of the problem is, why hire someone who needs to do months of research to ‘accurately portray' a disabled character when you can hire someone with the lived experience to bring to the role? Part of the argument I’ve seen against hiring disabled actors tends to boil down to the filmmakers not wanting to accommodate for a disabled creators needs. This is also relevant to every part of the creative process. A director, or producer, or writer may do a lot of research, but it doesn’t replace having disabled people with lived experience in every level of the creative process. Disabled people deserve to be able to tell their own stories and they deserve to be paid fairly for it. This is a problem in media (and most industries) for every marginalized group, and the only solution for accurate representation is actually hiring people with lived experience to tell their stories. 

Another thing I wanted to address is the fact that not every disabled person dislikes abled actors playing a disabled character. With the S*a situation, if you go to her twitter, there are autistic folks defending her and who would like to see the movie. No community is a monolith, it is made up of individuals. I don’t say this to let ableist creators off the hook. I only bring it up to emphasize that you will see some disabled folks defending ableist creators and this does not negate the fact that harm is caused. The community at large is being affected and abled people will use the minority of disabled folks that agree with them against the rest of the community. 

So yeah, those are my thoughts on that. I hope they made sense. If anyone has any thoughts on this or Gilbert Grape as a movie and would like to contribute, please do. I have ‘invisible’ conditions so my experience will be different from people who are physically disabled. As I said, its a very nuanced issue, so if I missed something or said something that doesn’t track, please feel free to let me know

[tillman]

Hi, it's Valentine, back with another essay on Lancelot again. I’m deranged and you all have to accept this. Anyways this ones been a long time coming mostly because i'm lazy and only now had some free time to sit down and delve into so many sources to find quotes and proof for the main claim of this post: Mr Lancelot du Lac is an autistic man. Hes also trans and gay and i have proof for both of those (one is literally not even subtext) but those are for different essays. 

Anyways to start off with some smaller bits I wanna at least mention the history connecting autistic people with changelings or fae. The idea of a normal seeming child being “replaced” by something not entirely human to explain neurological differences has been around for a while and can tie in with a lot of autistic people's feelings of being different or completely disconnected from those around them. Thematically all of this ties in with Lancelot’s narrative of being “stolen away” by a fae as a child and coming back different. He grew up in a realm of fairies, and Chrétien de Troyes in Knight of the Cart, which may be the first story about Lancelot, simply calls his mother who in later texts grows to be the Lady of the Lake, “a fairy.” Another smaller point is Lancelot tends to go nonverbal when he gets extremely upset which is neat! One bit i can’t get a quote for (vulgate pdf when) is after Galehaut’s death, he locks up completely and his mother, the Lady, who is wonderful and perfect, explains the situation for him. You could also look at all the times Lancelot runs off into the woods and refuses to speak for a while for more proof of that. He does this a lot. It's just a thing people expect from him.

Anyways, I wanna talk about Lancelot’s inability to comprehend emotions or communication in general. Please, I've been dying to talk about Lancelot’s issues with communication for days. God he has them and I can relate so hard. Covering the dutch prose first just look at the story of the hart with the white foot. A lady comes to court talking about how whatever knight will get the foot of his hart will get her hand in marriage. Lancelot actually ends up missing the lady speak about what will happen, and after hearing Kay fail to do it, declares hell go after this hart instead. "When he heard this account / he spoke impetuously: / "By my faith, I fully intend / to follow this little dog.” He doesn’t think it though, he doesn't really know what he's getting into, Lancelot is just a yes man who likes doing knightly deeds. He has to in the end be rescued twice by Gawain, one from his fucking up while hunting the hart, and the other by accidently leading a lady on thinking that he’ll marry her, something Gawain negotiates Lancelot out of. Moving onto not the dutch prose since i just spent 3 hours reading up on it, let's move onto le morte.

Malory pulls a lot from the french sources, and i'll talk about what he left out in a sec cus . god. But I mostly want to touch on his relationship with two of the people he’s closest to, those being Guenevere and Gawain. Guenevere is a very weird case considering her literal emotional manipulation of him in moments he is very vulnerable and just how not great she is to him in general but his take on their relationship is honestly pretty easy to pin down. Lancelot honestly idolizes Guenevere, as his queen, as his lady, as a person who showed him basic respect when he first came to court. He has the mindset that a knight should love and do anything for his lady, and after Guenevere knights him really without any thought to what she was doing, he decided he would do anything for her. The vulgate does a better job dealing with their relationship through the mediator figure of Galehaut who is a whole other bag of worms, but Guenevere mostly indulges him for the fun of it. She sees that he’s a young knight who’s willing to die for her and uses this to her advantage politically and for other reasons. This constantly goes over Lancelot's head, until towards the end of le morte where he finally realizes how much he suffers for this relationship while she doesn't even care, “This is not the first time, said Sir Launcelot, that ye had been displeased with me causeless, but, madam, ever I must suffer you, but what sorrow I endure I take no force.” He resigns himself to put up with a relationship he admits is actively hurting him because he believes it’s love, and as a good knight, he should love his lady. His relationship with Gawain is less dicey, and more him constantly not getting Gawain’s implications. He admits to his love of Gawain only during their war saying in the vulgate, “But he will never be able to hate me so much that I stop loving him." Like. bold of him to just ignore all of Gawains previous advances until theyre in a life or death war. Bro accept your homoerotic rivals and move on already. 

Another casualty from Lancelot not realizing emotional connotations until too late is Galehaut, who literally dies of longing over the knight. Like Elaine of Astolat but worse because Galehauts just genuinely one of the best people in Arthurian literature. He doesn’t realize until too late that the person who actually loves him is the one willing to do anything for him, and ends up almost killing himself over Galehauts death. I have too much to say on that and it's not relevant to anything in this essay but god know i yearn over them all the time. 

Other thing is Lancelot has a lot of struggle with mental health anyways,  he really just truly is traumatized and that’s kinda fucked. He has a lot of problems with depression and poor coping mechanisms. I mean his main coping mechanism is falling asleep instead of dealing with the issues. That's not completely on topic but it's a big mood and ties in vaguely and also i don't have any other way to end this. There are way more bits to add but i am falling asleep at my desk and need to get lunch before it gets too late. Anyways this is probably not great i wrote this in 4 hours directly after waking up at 12 and spent 2 of those hours reading literary essays on the dutch romances. GOOD NIGHT . 

[silcojinx]

Hank x Connor: Is Hank Connor’s ‘Special Interest’? Long post but important...

Okay so let me start off with a disclaimer....While I am 100% certain that Connor was written to have ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) This was not confirmed or denied by the creator or any of the team that worked on Detroit. That said there is actual proof to determine that he, in fact, was written to have ASD. So much proof that it cannot be considered a coincidence. I am NOT self projecting I am simply going over canon facts. Also this is going to be a long post but please stick with me until the end because I am going to explain how this all links to Hank x Connor. 

🌟*it should be noted that I am an adult female on the Autistic spectrum so I can relate to many of these things but I will keep to the facts in the game. Also I am not stereotyping in any way. These are just well known autistic factors that Connor is exhibiting....🌟

So first let me establish what actually fits the bill in terms of Autistic behaviors. So that we can know that Connor canonly has ASD.

1. Connor has a STIM....✅

A STIM or a self-stimulatory behaviour, also known as stimming and self-stimulation, is the repetition of physical movements, sounds, words, or moving objects.  For an autistic person this is an extremely important because this motion can help ease anxiety in stressful situations. 

Connor’s STIM would be flipping his coin. A repetitive motion that he does in stressful and anxiety inducing situations. This makes senses as to where and when we see Connor play around with his coin. 

During the elevator ride to his first mission: 

(thinking about what his mission will be like with anticipation anxiety)

Before meeting Hank for the first time: 

(attributed to social anxiety)

And again in the elevator with Hank in the chapter “Public enemy”: 

(After Amanda tells him “ I may have to replace you Connor...” and “Something’s happening, something serious...Hurry Connor. Time is running out” )

This one is the most telling pieces as the camera shot pans to Connor’s face and the blank stare he has tells the tale of the thoughts that are bothering him and stimming is almost an unconscious decision meant to make the stimmer feel at ease with their own nerves by distracting the brain with repetitive motions. Think of stimming as an outward expression of the abundant thoughts that run quickly through the Autistic person’s mind. 

2. Connor Reconstructs while Markus Pre-constructs✅

This is a big part of ASD for a lot of autistic people (myself included) and this is a literal translation into physical form of what we/they go through on a daily basis and this has to do with impulse control and executive function (or the ability to control your impulses)

Executive dysfunction, which is common in people with autism, refers to a lack of one or more of the common executive skills or a tendency of these skills to require more time and effort than they usually do for other people. 

This is also applied to Connor through the “Reconstructing function” that was programmed into his model. And once again there is proof that he not only doesn’t think about the consequences before acting but that he also has more trouble then the “normal android” when it comes to pre-constructing or thinking about the actions he takes first.

When Markus preconstructs a scenario this is essentially him thinking about how to do things before hand as we can see that he has the ability to warn himself of impending dangers.

As he thinks about the options carefully and in detail (like in the GIF above) he knows the option he is trying to take is dangerous because it “would be too high” to reach. 

The earliest we see Connor do anything even remotely close to preconstructing (prior to meeting Markus and we will talk about that in a minute) is the chase scene when he is running after Rupert...

 By pressing R2 you can see the different options and this means that Connor can actively assess the situation however it is not in as much detail as Markus’. He sees that it is dangerous but he has no clue about what would happen if he takes the route he chooses as his assessment is only “Fast but risky” or “Safe but slow” so he actually not predicting outcomes. It is also worth noting that in his Reconstruct mode he can only rewind the events after they have already taken place. This means that he didn’t need to think about the events leading up to the end result he just watches the playback after the crime has already been committed. 

This is Connor not being able to see the end result of his actions similar to how impulse control problems happen in Autistic people....the action is taken and then reflected upon which can be dangerous and even deadly in many situations.

The difficulty that Connor experiences with actually executing a full Pre-construction is shown in the game as well as he is only able to run a full pre- construction after meeting Markus. All interactions was reconstructing until this point.

 This brings me to Connor’s social interactions as lack of impulse control, basic understanding of human emotions, and what is appropriate vs what is not to say in public is prominent in Connor’s dialogue.

3. Connor does not understand implications or jokes✅

Who could forget the first time Connor met Hank in the bar and Hank sarcastically asks Connor if he “knows where he can stick his instructions” Connor looks  confused and replies...”No...Where?”

He wasn’t trying to be funny he really did not get the joke nor the implication that Hank was trying to make here and asked with genuine intrigue. It is typically the case that most people with Autism (again including myself) they do not understand jokes or how to respond to them. Being analytical in nature some jokes are beyond them and they just do not know how to respond. Its common for males in particular on the autistic spectrum to over analyze the situation and think that the joke is actually serious communicating.

So we hit 3 major ASD traits:

1. Connor has a STIM ✅

2. Connor has impulse control problems✅

3. Connor has trouble with social skills✅

And that is just the tip of the iceburg....but lets move on. Another thing that Autistic people tend to do is have a special interest. This is something that the autistic person becomes emotionally attached to and wants to learn everything about.

  “ One characteristic or autistic trait that is commonly seen in individuals with autism spectrum disorders, or Asperger’s Syndrome is a preoccupation with areas of “special interests.” So common is this trait of autism that it is listed as one of the diagnostic criteria of the disorder.” - Jeannie Davide-Rivera of aspiewriter.com

So what is Connor’s special interest you ask? And how did it develop?

Well lets start with the latter. A special interest starts with a pique of interest. (which I believe to be the scene at Jimmy’s bar) Then it evolves into a desire to learn everything about the subject and then share that knowledge with everyone else. The autistic person then dedicates every second of their free time to learning about and talking about the subject they have chosen.

“Most people with autism have particular favorite subjects. Special interests can simply be like hobbies or careers only more so: someone on the spectrum can dedicate an immense amount of time to their special interest, even dedicating every free moment to it.” -AmbitiousAboutAutism.org.uk

So what does Connor do in his free time?

At the Office.... (this is Connor learning about Hank after the initial pique of interest in his spare time at the office)

At Hank’s House it becomes an objective.... (This is Connor wanting to “Learn more about Hank” in his free time at Hank’s house *Notice “LEARN MORE is in bold white text while the rest is normal)

There is even a trophy for this if you learn everything there is to know about Hank.

My conclusion is yes, Hank is Connor’s ‘Special Interest’ 

“Furthermore, and maybe most importantly, these interests feed the autistic mind and soul. It is what calms, focuses, and brings pleasure. It is a way that these individuals decompress from a stressful day; a way to shut out the world for a while in order to refocus and recharge.” - Jeannie Davide-Rivera  at aspiewriter.com

But there is another side to the symbolic flipping of Connor’s coin here. And that is an obsession. The way Detroit is written never ceases to amaze me at how in depth they take their symbolism and this is no different as Hank is meant to represent the “special interest” there is also one other thing that Connor can ultimately care about and that is his mission.

The two paths you can take as Connor comes down to Hank or The Mission..... Hank is the good healthy way of dealing with a “special interest” and the mission? Connor going down “machine path” is symbolic for an interest (the mission) becoming and absolute OBSESSION. And it is important to note the difference between Special interest and Obsession.  

A special interest is something with special meaning and emotional attachment for the autistic person that they are willing to put in a lot of time and energy in their free time to learn about and this is also different from a hobby in the amount of time thinking about the subject in said free time. Where as an obsession has climbed to a point that the autistic person can no longer think of anything but the subject...like everything else becomes invalid to them.

I have heard a unanimous verdict among fans (<---me included) that machine Connor is “scary” and why do you think that is? It is because literally nothing matters to him but the mission. 

He becomes cold, distant, and obsessed.

“When intensity and focus on an activity excludes everything else in the person’s life, the interest may be spiraling out of control. It is not uncommon for an autistic person to focus for hours on end engrossed in their area of interest. The intensity of focus shuts out the world around them to the point that hours and days can go by without even a thought of eating. Interruptions are unwelcomed, and can cause feelings of anger to surface. Even a routine bathroom break is seen as an unwanted interruption and source of irritation.” - Jeannie Davide-Rivera  aspiewriter.com

So when the interest becomes an obsession any interruption of them thinking about the subject is unwelcome and they become ANGRY.

In the Gif above Connor is too far into his “machine path” or no longer feels the emotions that come with a ‘special interest’ (or Hank) and is instead into the “obsessed path” He no longer even cares about DYING. Instead with his last words are “We’ll meet again Markus.....This isnt over” 

He no longer cares about himself “The mission is all that matters”

Also it is important to note that this is a MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLE.

And I can’t get over the fact that there is so many messages within this game. Cyberlife made Connor a deviant from the start in order to learn in real time how deviants think and act in certain situations. (<---as stated in my previous theory about Connor) So it is not far fetched to say that Cyberlife made him AUTISTIC from the start learning both how to stamp out deviance AND take control of mental health “problems” in one fell swoop. This also makes a point about society and how they view Autism and mental health problems in general....as if they are a “glitch” in your code and needs to be “dealt with” or “cured”

But the silver lining of this is there is another option for Connor. Another message this game gives is that one person can make the difference in the struggle with your mental health problem if they give the unconditional love and support that you need...

*BONUS* Autism Speaks color is blue...

[ami-acts]

what about #redinstead? shouldn't it be autism acceptance month? awareness makes it sound like a disease :-(

Ok, so I feel like this is too important to post in character.

Firstly, some disclaimers. For one, I am autistic, and use the language I feel most comfortable with in relation to that. For two, I am British and our big autism charities are pretty great. We don’t have an Autism Speaks equivalent, and if I didn’t have so many American friends I wouldn’t know about it.

I knew that Light It Up Blue is an Autism Speaks thing, and therefore inherently a Bad Thing. I didn’t know about #redinstead. From the wording, I assume it’s a direct response to the Blue campaign and, while I support its intentions, it doesn’t feel right for me, because of lso, red just doesn’t feel like the right colour to associate with autism, in my opinion. It’s the colour of passion, but also of violence and anger. It is evocative, not calming. 

World Autism Awareness Day was started up by the UN so, as far as I’m aware (feel free to correct me), was created with the right intentions. If Autism Speaks have decided to use it, that’s their decision and doesn’t change the fact that the Awareness Day isn’t inherently a Bad Thing. It is completely valid for you to take issue with the wording ‘awareness’, especially when ‘acceptance’ could so easily have replaced it. However, I stand by my choice to use it and there’s a few reasons why.

I’ve seen a lot going around about Autism Awareness Day. It makes sense that searches for autism-focused content would be higher on that day, despite the entire month also being dedicated to acceptance. I wanted to capitalise on that to share the experiences of an autistic afab adult in a way that has the potential to engage more people than a text post or blog post would. Also, I do want to increase awareness. I think awareness days are kind of odd, they’re usually focused on conditions or diseases that the general population are already incredibly aware of. The posters/images often say the thing and the date, and that’s that, as if all they want you to be aware of is that this thing is A Thing, but that’s not helpful. We know that disease X, Y or Z is A Thing, but how many people know how to properly check themselves for symptoms? We know that condition 1, 2 or 3 is A Thing, but how many people know how to help a friend or family member who has it? We know autism is A Thing, but how many people know that you can’t ‘look’ autistic? That we’ve been sidelined and degraded our whole lives for acting autistic to the point that we have, to the best of our abilities, stopped? How many people understand how exhausting that is? That we can’t keep doing it without jeopardising our health and wellbeing? That’s the awareness I wanted to bring, yesterday. I wanted to show a Luna who had grown and learnt, who found new ways to cope without losing her essence, who’s still recognisable from the books, who still comes across as ‘odd’ and sometimes needs help to self-advocate. An autistic adult who is capable, loveable, intelligent and capable of forming meaningful relationships. As a member of the LGBT+ community, we have a proud history of taking what people use to try and tear us down and owning it instead. If the allistics want an Autism Awareness Day, then I will make them aware of the things that I think they should know about Autism. I’m not saying that everyone should do the same, you do you, I’m just explaining my perspective and reasoning.

I didn’t intend to upset anyone with my choice of wording. I hope that you now understand my reasoning. I’ve probably missed something out because Tumblr being a hellsite means this is the third time I’ve written this post and expressing myself if harder when I’m frustrated. If there are other factors at play here that I am unaware of, please feel free to approach me politely to discuss it, or even just throw me an informative link if words are hard for you. I’m very aware of my limited world view and experiences and always willing to expand my understanding.

TL;DR - I didn’t mean any offense, I understand the issues with the term awareness but have my reasons for using it, I support the idealogy behind #redinstead but don’t personally like the colour choice. Autism Speaks bad, Awareness good.